#well. maybe not ‘you don’t have to stop’ that’s not comedy that’s a targeted attack on my theo defender heartstrings | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

well-its-not-human-anymore · 3 years

Note

Hi Hi!!!! So I've been following your account for a little while now and I love every single comedy bomb you drop on what you write so I was wondering....

How would the boys react to their S/O who is usually reserved when at the lair, doing a full 180 when at April's? Like they could be April's roommate or something?....

Like crackhead energy, dishing out memes and vines and literally having a duel with Casey about leftovers in the fridge?... Yeah I know it's very specific 💀

I don't know.....the idea just popped into my head but I lack the creativity and comedy skills for that...so I was wondering if you could do something with this?.....

It's totally fine, if not 😁😁

This is... 100% me. I love this and I'm gonna pour my soul into it. Also I have started mentally referring to these as comedy bombs and I refuse to stop.

Also, I hope you don't mind that I wrote these in oneshot form instead of bullet points. It just made more sense for my brain.

TMNT Oneshots

The boys with a partner whose reserved at the lair but an absolute crack gremlin at home 🤣

Donatello

Donnie may have been a man of science, all logic and facts and numbers and things. But he absolutely believed that everyone had three separate faces, you were direct proof of that theory. While the purple terrapin had known you for nearly a year you’d only started dating a month ago and it shocked him that he was still uncovering new things about you. He loved it, sure, but it had a tendency to give him figurative whiplash.

He’d always known you to be calm and collected, maybe even a bit shy. He swore you’d explode if more than one person tried to talk to you at the same time. So it wasn’t an over exaggeration for him to say that your behavior at home nearly made him break his neck.

He was only there to help April fix a bug in her laptop and to confirm your next date, he was excited to see you since you’d had no contact in person for a week because of your schedules. Just lots of phone calls and exchanged text messages. You both missed each other like crazy and your roommate had neglected to inform you that your boyfriend was coming over.

Hers was already there and he was driving you up the wall, you’d never actually thought about committing a murder but Casey was pushing you very close to the edge of snapping. And he might as well have crane-kicked you off your cliff of patience and into the rushing river of “you little fucking shit I’m gonna piss on your grave” below. You hadn’t even heard Donnie come in through the window much less his conversation with April over her computer.

All you knew was that Casey had come parading into your room like a tyrant eating the leftovers in the fridge that you had specifically put your name on. That did it. Your eyes had skimmed over the top of your textbook to meet the asshole in front of you.

“Casey?”

He couldn’t speak through the mouthful he was trying to chew and grunted in pathetic response.

“Is that my cheeseburger?”

You’d never seen a living person imitate a pug’s facial structure so well, the man’s eyes bugged out of his head and he tossed the takeout box on your desk before turning and bolting out of your room. You followed about two steps behind with a bottle of shampoo in your hand. No, you weren’t entirely sure where you’d grabbed it from, all you knew was that it was your weapon. And it quickly became a very messy problem when it missed your target (Casey’s head) and slammed into the wall, exploding on impact.

You didn’t think you’d thrown it that hard.

“April April help help help helpppppppppppppp-'' The two on the couch had looked up during the chase throughout the apartment, Donnie was mostly curious at what Casey was screaming about. Not a lot usually made the guy make that noise. He was then distracted by April grabbing the laptop and passing it to him, she then clambered over his legs to sit behind him.

“YOU UGLY ASS CROISSANT! FUCKING PANINI HEAD- IT HAD MY NAME ON IT YOU DAFT AVACADO!”

Your boyfriend almost went vertical upon watching you tackle Casey to the floor and knee him in the groin. You shook the terrified man under you and slammed him a little harder into the rug.

“Touch my shit again and I’m gonna make the beaches of Normandy look like a goddamn family vacation.”

Then you climbed off of him and stood, brushing your disheveled t-shirt off with a huff. Donnie caught your attention and you raised your head to grin excitedly at him.

“Hi Dove! April didn’t tell me you were coming over,” you practically skipped over to the couch to peck him on the cheek, “I missed ya, are we still on for Saturday?”

He nodded in complete shock, his gaze flitting from you to Casey, who was still wheezing on the floor and clutching his dick.

“Uhhh yeah! Yeah, yep, Still good for Saturday. Uhm, completely unrelated question, where the hell did you learn to grapple like that?”

You shrugged absentmindedly, already walking to the hall closet to grab cleaning supplies for the puddle of shampoo in the walkway.

“Just kinda picked it up I guess? I’ve watched you guys train enough.”

Leonardo

See, Leo had always known that you were hiding something from him. Be it your true personality or some deep dark secret. He wasn’t really in a rush to find out, you’d tell him when you were ready. The leader enjoyed your quiet disposition anyways, you gave good advice and liked to meditate with him, what more could he ask for? What more could he want?

Well, maybe if you got along better with his family, although he supposed that wasn’t your fault, you always had been a bit shy. Even six months into your relationship with him, Leo only hoped that you’d warm up to his brothers eventually. You seemed to do alright with Splinter, that was a plus for the situation. It wasn’t that you were mean or impolite to the others, you were just… avoidant. Distant, quiet, whatever word you wanted to use. You just didn’t seem comfortable at the lair.

He was excited that April had asked to host a game night though, maybe you’d come out of your shell (haha, see what I did there?) and socialize, even for a little bit. They’d all shown up a few minutes early to make sure April didn’t need help with anything, she’d assured them that everything was handled and made sure to inform Leo that you would be back shortly with Casey from your snack run. Mikey had joked that you’d ditched the get together to avoid them but they all knew it ran the possibility of not being a joke.

You unlocked the door and held it open so Casey could get inside without tripping himself before entering yourself and kicking your shoes off. Leo looked up to meet your eyes and you sent him a wild grin, your entire face lit up with amusement.

“Hi babes! Are you ready to get your ass kicked at Monopoly?”

All the poor turtle could do was nod.

“Good. I did grab drinks by the way, April there should be a mixer in the cooler bag, Donnie there’s some of that lemon lime stuff that you said you wanted to try, Mikey, orange crush as usual, Raph I tried to go for Dr. Pepper but they were out so I figured that root beer was a safe second. And Leo they had a new boba flavor that you haven’t had yet so I grabbed one. If you don’t like it then you can have mine, I just have the peach royal.”

Beverages were tossed and they were lucky that their surprise didn’t throw off their catching skills. You and April shared a quick word in the kitchen as you took your coat off and ran a hand through your hair.

After some arguments team captains were decided and Donnie nearly had a heart attack when you picked him instead of Leo or either of your friends. He even went so far as to point at himself to make sure you weren’t joking. You declared that while you loved your boyfriend his morals were too strong to be competitive, Donnie’s were not, he said so himself.

They were all surprised that you’d remembered that conversation.

It wasn’t until halfway through the game that things started getting heated, you and Mikey were nearly jumping across the table at each other. And it visibly took all of your strength to not burst out laughing when he started yelling.

"YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS CHEATING! YOU'RE CHEATING! GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE!"

April and Casey were snorting into their arms as you got to your feet and walked towards the kitchen, making a poor attempt at climbing the appliance.

"THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!"

Raphael

Raph had always been under the impression that you were never really 100% yourself around him, he knew for a fact that you weren’t when you stayed over. He’d never seen someone so aggressively avoid someone, except himself of course. You were his partner of almost a year and it seemed like you were never going to let your true self shine. However you did seem to lighten up when you were alone with him, he supposed that was normal, but you may as well have been a pair of old earbuds that only work when you held them a certain way at the lair.

He honestly hadn’t expected that to change tonight, not given the text that Casey had sent him informing him of April’s recent breakup with whatever guy she’d been dating. So when he climbed in through the window and saw both you and Casey sitting on the floor in front of the bathroom he really didn’t think that the words out of your mouth would be-

“April you’ve got another twenty minutes of this then I’m ripping the door off the hinges!”

Casey shot you a look and you shrugged nonchalantly before getting to your feet and walking over to your confused boyfriend.

“Hey, sorry about this. Casey only texted you as a last resort if he needed someone to stop me from tearing the door off.”

Raph found that peculiar, “Uh, couldn’t he do it himself?”

The man in question looked up from his spot on the floor.

“Nah dude, they’re crazy. Last time I tried stopping them from doing something they nearly knocked my damn tooth out while screaming, and I quote, “If you put your hands on me I’m gonna fucking rip your face off” and quite frankly I don’t have the balls to test that.”

“No no dude, that’s valid. I wouldn’t either. Babe, why are you so-”

You raised an eyebrow at him over a glass of water, “Violent? I’m not Raph. These two just have little bitch feelings.”

He found it hard not to laugh at that and fifteen minutes later when you left his side to approach the door again it sent him reeling.

“This shit’s temporary April. You’ve got nice teeth and a fat ass, stuff your feelings down!”

Michelangelo

There would never be a time where Mikey wasn’t a prankster with you, it was just simply non-negotiable. You were cool with that and he was aware, he was also aware that no pranks were to be pulled at the lair. So he’d reign it in while you visited, just for a short while. But you’d never said anything about the apartment and Mikey was a creature of opportunity.

Unfortunately Leo talked him out of it and forced him not to pull anything while they visited. The leader was already on edge so when he walked in with the others following closely behind you were the first person to see him. Your eyes caught Mikey’s instantly and you might as well have been telepathic at that moment. But you took one look at Leo’s solid, angry face and seized your moment.

They weren’t at all ready for the scream.

“GET YOUR FUCKIN’ DOG BITCH!”

And they also weren’t ready for Mikey’s response of, “It don’t bite.”

And Leo was not ready for the pillow that got whipped at his face at incredibly high speed.

“YES IT DO-”

So when Leo finally realized that they were yelling at him his mood did not improve at all and in fact declined sharply into a pit of “oh fuck”. And that was how you ended up on Mikey’s shoulder getting dragged away from any sort of repercussion for your actions.

These got a little short near the end but I hope you like 'em and I hope I was able to capture what you had in mind! 😁

-Mars 🌠

#tmnt bayverse #tmnt headcanons #tmnt x reader #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt michelangelo #writing blog #writing requests #ask box #ask response

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mgg-theprettiestboy · 3 years

Text

prank wars

matthew gray gubler x fem!reader

request: Sooooo I was wondering if you were still taking requests and if you were could I get one with mgg. Like he’s filming one of the unauthorised documentaries and she’s on set so he decides to prank her but she pranks him back and it’s just all fluffy with them going back and forth?? Thanks love your work by the way!!

FLUFF

in which Matthew starts a prank war that he can’t win

warnings: cursing

“You weren't here for the first few seasons. I’m not surprised you don't understand what’s going on. He hasn’t done this in years.”

You frowned at AJ, “what the hell is an unauthorised documentary?”

Paget shrugged, “its basically Matthew running around with a camera and acting like an ass. He acts like a dick, pulls a couple pranks, usual Matthew stuff.”

“If he pranks me, I’ll get a step ladder, climb it, and punch him in his stupid face,” you snorted a laugh, pouring yourself what felt like your tenth cup of coffee. Paget laughed, “don’t tell him that. He’d love that. Probably record it, too.”

“Who’d love what?” Adam asked, as he and Matthew walked into the room. AJ smiled, “Y/N wanted to know what the hell an unauthorised documentary was.”

Adam laughed as Matthew grinned, “it’s just a comedy skit, really. I act weird and film it.”

“You do that every day. You just don't usually film it,” you pointed out, which resulted in Matthew picking up a cushion from the couch and throwing it at you. You held your hand out to stop it from hitting you and your coffee, before glaring at Matthew, “don't start on me, Gubler, I’ll ruin your life.”

“You wanna bet? I will make you the target of my attacks, if I have to. I was planning on terrorising Daniel, but you will make just as good a victim,” he threatened you, picking up a plastic spoon and pointing it at you as if it was a weapon. You scoffed, “oh please. I would have you crying, begging for mercy.”

“Is that so? Well, we’ll see about that. Adam, tell Daniel I no longer need his assistance for the documentary. I have a new plan,” Matthew said to Adam, before staring you down as he left the room.

Well tried to. Rather, he tried to stare at you as he walked backwards out of the room, which just resulted in him bumping into a bunch of things before managing to make his way out of the room. Adam raised a brow, and looking to you, “do you have any idea what you’ve gotten yourself into?”

“Yes. I don't think he does, though.”

Monday.

It took the cast and crew an hour to get you out of the bathroom. Somehow, the door handle disappeared. You didn’t have to even look at Matthew to know he was the guilty party. He made the first move. And he was going to regret it.

Tuesday.

Someone superglued Matthew’s trailer door shut. And also superglued everything in his trailer, so not only were his personal items glued to the counter and walls, his car keys were as well. He was stuck on set for another hour after everyone went home.

Wednesday.

Nothing happened, except you both kept jumping out to scare each other. The cast knew it was the calm before the storm.

Thursday.

Matthew walked onto set, chipper as usual. More so today. Everyone knew he must have something planned. However, you were no where to be found. You came running onto set, late, apologising as you headed towards hair and makeup, where you would also get changed into costume. Matthew narrowed his eyes at you, but more specifically, your outfit.

“That’s my shirt,” he said in disbelief, as the cast began to look as well. You had to hide your grin, looking confused as you look at the t-shirt you had on, “how could this possible be yours?”

“That’s– that’s my shirt– how the fuck did you–?” Matthew was unable to form a coherent sentence. He knew he hadn’t worn that shirt in a while, and that it was sitting in the back of his closet. Or so he thought. You simply shrugged, “maybe you’re getting confused. This can’t be your shirt. How could it be?”

He watched you as you walked away, raising his brows. Maybe he had met his match.

Friday.

You had completely baffled Matthew, coming in again, dressed in another one of his shirts. So he cornered you whenever you were on your way to lunch, pinning you against a wall.

“Okay, enough fucking around. How are you doing this?” He frowned, and you grinned, “aw, Gubler. Are you admitting defeat already?”

He scoffed, “no. Never.”

“Then you’ll never know,” you smiled, “besides, I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is my shirt.”

He narrowed his eyes at you, before you shimmied out of his hold and blew him a kiss as you headed off to lunch.

It was going to be a busy weekend for Matthew.

Monday.

Matthew had had the worst weekend. He physically couldn't figure out how to get back at you. His unauthorised documentary was finished, and he had edited it in a way that made it look like he was only pranking you, but in his heart, he knew he had lost this battle.

And of course, you came in on Monday morning, wearing a shirt and shorts that were obviously too big for you, but you also had oddly large shoes on. And then, the cherry on top: mismatched socks.

The entire cast was in stitches laughing at seeing you, and again whenever Matthew saw you. This time, he actually joined in on their laughter.

“Okay, thats it, I call. You win, Y/L/N,” he sighed with a smile, and you grinned, “well I never. It took you long enough.”

He chuckled, shaking your hand, “I know when I’m beaten.”

“No you don't,” you scoffed, and he rolled his eyes, “yeah, I know... can I have my clothes back now?”

You laughed, nodding, “yeah, I’ll go get changed.”

And he sat on the sofa and waited for you to return. While the whole cast laughed and chattered about how you had beaten him, he sat with a small smile on his face as he tried to think of how he was going to ask you out.

“Here you go,” you handed him a plastic bag with his clothes in them, before walking away, “oh, and thank your mom for all her help, will you?”

took me ages to write but here ya go!

#mgg #spencer reid #mgg angst #mgg fanfiction #mgg fluff #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #mgg fic #mgg x reader #mgg x y/n #mgg gifs #mgg blurb #mgg smut #mgg imagine

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ckret2 · 4 years

Text

meta about Vox & abuse with a side of Angel

Posting about Vox today reminded me of the thoughts I had a few days ago when the Insta accounts first posted those pics of Val smashing Vox’s face for getting his drink order wrong. So here’s a post mainly about Vox but a little about Angel.

So we've got confirmation that Val has shattered Vox's screen multiple times at this point. But there's been no evidence of violence from Vox toward Val, has there? I think it's all been one-sided. Think mention was made that Vox broke Val’s TV at one point, but as far as I can recall that was a one off—whereas Val has threatened to beat Vox’s face in more than once and done so more than once.

Cut for length but also for mentions of abuse—mainly just about how that abuse could affect the narrative/character arcs rather than discussing it in detail.

We might find out later that Vox, Val, and Vel’s dynamic is intended to be read as three goofy roughhousing villains who beat on each other as slapstick comedy and don’t really suffer any long-term physical/mental consequences—Vox & Val’s shark attack on Vel sure suggests that possibility—but the fact that Val’s violence toward Vox appears to be much more frequent and significant, plus the fact that Val is already being characterized as a very scary very real abuser, definitely leaves open the possibility that we’re supposed to take the actions between VV&V more seriously, too.

And it’s definitely easy to take it seriously. Like, looking at this post:

Look past the “haha TV face man got his TV broke, like a TV” visual gag, and this is a some guy taking a selfie of the black eye/broken nose his boyfriend gave him.

But it would be easy to see even these posts as "cartoony jokey violence" unless you stop and remember oh yeah this cartoon plays closer to real world rules rather than bugs bunny rules. There IS still a chance they could play it off as looney toons violence where we're supposed to go "lol look how awful VV&V are toward each other”—but I'm hoping that they do play it as an actual abusive relationship.

Maybe have them treat it like cartoony funny violence. Maybe have them telling themselves that this is all funny, it’s all games, if you’re tough enough then a little thing like a broken screen doesn’t REALLY hurt—and you ARE tough, right, aren’t you Vox?? Aren’t you some big bad overlord?? You’re not some fuckin loser who gets butthurt over a broken screen, are you?? It’d be really easy for the three of them to tell themselves/each other that how they treat each other—especially how Val treats Vox—is fine... and then for the show to peel off the surface layer of their clowning around and point out the damage that’s really being done.

As far as what this means for Vox’s character, I’m interested in the possibility. Vox is currently slated to be an endgame villain for the series. I'm liking the implication that Vox can be this big powerful nigh-unstoppable villain... but is also still just as vulnerable as anyone else to being suckered by an abuser. That's an unexpected but intriguing avenue for character depth.

And if they're willing to give Angel an in depth character arc over being abuse at Val’s hands, then it would feel really weird if they don’t give Vox the same treatment. Not necessarily an arc that ends in character growth, not necessarily one that that concludes with him getting free and/or getting on the road to redemption—particularly if he’s gonna be an endgame villain—but at least one that takes it seriously and explores how that abuse affects his character. It could even make him a good foil for Angel, showing how the two of them handle it/are affected by it differently. (And if canon doesn’t give us that arc, I’ve got two hands and a keyboard and an AO3 account, and that is a threat.)

Saw a theory that this is recent treatment, that Val’s moved on to a fresh target now that Angel is out of reach—but I don’t think he is out of reach. Val is still demanding money from Angel at the start of the pilot episode; and it’s hard to tell from the “Addict” video what’s present day and what’s flashback, but between the insta posts around its release and the video itself, it seems like the dance is definitely present day and the abuse/assault is probably present day. So Angel isn’t out of reach, so Val didn’t “move on” to another target. Which probably means this is just how he always treats Vox.

tbh I’m, like, immediately ten times more invested in Vox/Val than I was before these posts solely out of a desire to get Vox out of that relationship lmao. And/or the desire for Vox to pull his big square head out of his ass, look at Angel, and go "oh wait I've been looking down on him but I should probably be, like... empathizing with him."

I mean you've gotta figure. They move in close enough circles that they've GOT to have seen the results of Val's treatment on each other.

But they apparently haven't ended up allies because—what reason? Maybe Vox looking at Angel and going "Well it doesn't matter what happens to HIM, he's just Val's pet stripper. Our relationship is different, Val and me are equals. We just roughhouse. That's all it is." Maybe Angel looking at Vox and going "Well he's on the same power level as Val, he could obviously just leave if it was bothering him. But he doesn't act like he's bothered, so he must not be," coupled with maybe not even consciously recognizing shattered screens as, y'know, an injury.

Or maybe they’re jealous of each other because they don’t see the full extent of how Val treats them. “What’s Angel complaining about, at least Val doesn’t beat his face in.” “What’s Vox complaining about, it’s not like he’s gotta dance for Val to pay rent.” Either because Val keeps them from getting to know each other too well, or because they’re both currently too emotionally immature to work out how to empathize with each other.

Or maybe Angel does recognize Vox’s situation but doesn't feel like he's got room to reach out when it's VOX, who oozes power out of every port and who gives off the impression that he would be violently offended rather than grateful if someone suggested he's any sort of victim.

Maybe part of Angel’s redemption arc is going to involve recognizing how bad Vox has got it, deciding that even a douchebag like Vox deserves the same chance at salvation that a douchebag like Angel got, and trying to invite him into the hotel to get away from Val.

And maybe part of Vox’s trajectory toward becoming the final villain will be rejecting Angel’s compassion, because he’s clinging so hard to this idea that he’s only “safe” as long as he’s the most goddamn powerful sinner in hell that he can’t bring himself to let go of the lie he tells himself about his own supposed invincibility, even when somebody’s reaching out and offering to help him.

(... All that said, I’m still waiting on standby with my keyboard and my AO3 account, fully prepared to write that “Vox goes to the hotel and now the healing can begin” fic.)

#(*puts Angel and Vox safe in a cardboard box and fills it with pillows and blankets*)#(*but also hangs up a blanket between the two of them so that they don't interact*)#hazbin hotel #vox #angel dust #valentino #meta #abuse

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ibijau · 3 years

Note

27 for xisang, please make it as angsty as your heart desires ❤️

It had been a few years since Lan Xichen had left his seclusion, and a few more since the events that had pushed him to enter it. He had made his peace with the whole thing, accepted his share of guilt and blame, and resumed his life as before, only changed by a better understanding of human nature. He also, perhaps, paid a little more attention to rumours, and was more interested in investigating them, knowing that refusing to do so had partly led to that disaster with Jin Guangyao. Even when rumours were unfounded, Lan Xichen had started to realise, the very fact that they existed could reveal something about both their target and their instigator.

The latest rumour was that Nie Huaisang intended to become Chief Cultivator.

Once, Lan Xichen would have dismissed the idea immediately. Nie Huaisang was many things, but he had never been particularly ambitious nor interested in hard work. Certainly Qinghe Nie was doing better again these days, but it still wasn’t quite back to truly being a Great Sect, nor did it give any signs that it aimed to be. Then again, if Nie Huaisang had proven one thing, it was that he knew how to deceive and misdirect when it served his purposes.

At the next conference they both attended, Lan Xichen found himself paying rather more attention than usual to the man he’d once counted as a friend of sorts. At first there was nothing amiss. Nie Huaisang conducted himself as usual, talking little, listening a lot. Listening too much, in fact. Lan Xichen realised after a bit that he had never seen Nie Huaisang so attentive at a conference, even if he was clearly trying to hide it. What’s more, quite a few times Lan Xichen caught the other man glancing in his direction. They hadn’t exchanged two words since that certain night, nor had either of them made efforts to acknowledge the other in any way, so this was odd.

Odder still was it for Nie Huaisang to come seek him out when a break was offered for lunch.

“Lan zongzhu, may I request a word with you?” Nie Huaisang asked, his tone a little too light to be really polite, just as it used to be.

“Nie zongzhu, if we have anything to talk about, I suggest you get in touch with my uncle, as you’ve done of late,” Lan Xichen replied. “He will probably be of more help than myself.”

There was a flash of pain on Nie Huaisang’s face at that rejection, as if it were a surprise. As if Nie Huaisang hadn’t done everything in his power to cause a rift between them.

More upset than he would have expected, Lan Xichen started turning away, only to feel a hand grasping his sleeve and pulling on the fabric.

“Er-ge, please, I need your help,” Nie Huaisang begged with startling sincerity, nervously glancing around. “A situation has emerged that I cannot deal with alone, I don’t know what I’ll do if you don’t help me!”

Lan Xichen shivered. The last time he’d seen that pleading expression on Nie Huaisang’s face had been years ago, at that disastrous conference in Lanling when they had failed to unmask Jin Guangyao. For Nie Huaisang to fall back into his old comedy, something had to have happened.

Anger flashed through Lan Xichen’s mind, which he was careful not to show. Whatever Nie Huaisang had done this time didn’t concern him, and he was done being used by that man as a tool and a weapon.

At the same time, Nie Huaisang had never once reached out for him in all those years, always directly dealing with Lan Qiren or, on a few occasions Wei Wuxian, if he needed something. Whatever bitter taste Lan Xichen felt over the events that had passed between them, it was easy to guess that Nie Huaisang hardly had better feelings toward him. So for him to come begging, to call him ‘er-ge’ again…

“Let’s find somewhere more private then,” Lan Xichen conceded, hating himself for this weakness he knew he would regret.

He pretended not to notice the eagerness and relief on Nie Huaisang’s face, both of which were surely fake, and led the other man toward the room he’d been given for the duration of the conference. It was unpleasant to let Nie Huaisang have a glimpse of his privacy, even in such an impersonal manner, but this couldn’t be avoided.

As soon as the room’s door closed behind them, Nie Huaisang’s attitude changed, and he sagged onto a chair, more like a distressed child than the scheming murderer Lan Xichen now knew him to be.

“Er-ge, I am so lost!” Nie Huaisang cried out, dropping his head into his hands. “And I didn’t know who to turn to and… I don’t even know if you’ll believe me, but I have to try. If you don’t believe me, who will?”

“What have you done now?” Lan Xichen asked, allowing some impatience to pierce through.

“I haven’t done anything! But I think something was done to me. Er-ge, a little while ago, I woke up one morning, and everything was wrong, so wrong. I thought at first that maybe da-ge was pulling a prank on me, or that he wanted to punish me for something, so I played along, right? But then I realised that it wasn’t that at all, and it couldn’t be something da-ge had done, because he’s dead? Er-ge, is da-ge really dead?” Nie Huaisang asked, looking up at him.

Lan Xichen shivered and nodded, too dumbstruck to say anything. Nie Huaisang cried out, and broke into tears. He looked so utterly miserable that it took all of Lan Xichen’s self control not to kneel at his side and comfort him.

“I can’t believe…” Nie Huaisang sobbed. “And A-Yao too?”

Another nod.

“How could they… and they killed each other? I got that right, didn’t I? They killed each other?”

“Huaisang, what are you playing at?” Lan Xichen snapped. “You know that very well. You were then when it happened.”

Nie Huaisang’s eyes widened as if in shock.

“Er-ge, so you’re really angry at me? What did I do to you?”

“What didn’t you do, Huaisang?”

A pitiful gasp escaped the younger man who bit his lip and looked away, still crying steadily.

“Maybe this was a bad idea,” he mumbled, sniffling and clumsily trying to wipe his tears with the back of his hands. “Maybe I shouldn’t have… but if not you, who can I trust? You’re the only one who’s always put up with me. Er-ge, please, I know you’re angry, but you have to help me because… because whatever it is I’ve done to you, I don’t remember it.”

“Huaisang!”

“I really don’t!” Nie Huaisang sobbed, curling up on himself. “I don’t remember anything, and I’m so lost, and da-ge is dead, and I don’t know what to do, I really don’t know, and I’m supposed to be a sect leader but I don’t know how to do that! And I… I’m lost, I’m so lost, I need help, p-please help me, p-please, er-ge, please h-help me! I d-don’t, I don’t know, I don’t know anything and I’m, I’m s-so lost!”

Confronted with the sight of his former friend crying so hard that he seemed to be choking on his own tears, Lan Xichen hesitated. It wasn’t new for Nie Huaisang to cry in front of him, but it was rarely so raw and inelegant. Nie Huaisang was a little vain, and rarely allowed his apparent despair to make him ugly. Right then, though, his face was red and wet from heavy tears and snot, and there was no artfulness to be found in his crying. In fact the only time Lan Xichen could remember Nie Huaisang looking like this had been right after hearing that his brother had passed away.

Moved against his will, Lan Xichen came closer and knelt by Nie Huaisang, awkwardly patting his shoulder in comfort.

“What do you mean you don’t remember anything?”

“I don’t!” Nie Huaisang wailed. “I went to sleep one night, all excited about that Phoenix Mountain Hunt that we were about to go to, because I’d say A-Yao and you and Jiang Cheng and even Wei Wuxian, even if he’s all weird now! And then I wake up in the morning, and my room looks different, and people are calling me sect leader, and now da-ge is dead, and you hate me, and, and…”

He started sobbing again, harder than before.

“How long ago was that?” Lan Xichen asked, rubbing the other man’s back.

“F-four months ago,” Nie Huaisang mumbled. “I, I didn’t know what t-to do so I played along. I f-figured it would stop on its own maybe. T-then I thought, if someone d-did this to me, they’ll t-try something else if they think it’s n-not working. I really t-thought it might be a p-prank, but you… you never lie, er-ge, so it’s really t-true. Da-ge is d-dead, it’s true, it’s all true…”

For a moment, Lan Xichen stopped breathing.

He remembered how, years and years before, Nie Huaisang had refused to listen to anyone telling him that his brother had died until Lan Xichen himself confirmed it. Back then too, Nie Huaisang had only trusted him and claimed it was because Lan Xichen never lied.

“Are you trying to tell me that you’ve lost nearly two decades’ worth of memory and in four months, nobody noticed?”

Nie Huaisang nodded miserably.

“I couldn’t let them know,” he sighed, his tears starting to calm a little. “Even when I f-figured it probably wasn’t a prank, then it meant that someone had attacked me, r-right? I couldn’t let anyone know that it had worked.” He sniffed, and wiped away his tears. “I really wanted to come see you sooner, but I’d heard some of my disciples chat that it was annoying we were in such bad terms with the great sects, so I wasn’t sure you’d see me at all if I went to Gusu. I thought I’d just wait until we were in the same place, and then I’d see if you seemed angry at me or not. And you are. I didn’t even know you could get so angry at someone, er-ge.”

“I am. Should I tell you why?”

Sniffling some more, Nie Huaisang shook his head.

“I think I can guess. I think it has to do with da-ge and san-ge. Is… is it my fault they’re dead?”

Lan Xichen opened his mouth, ready to say that at least one of them had died by his fault indeed, then closed it again. If Nie Huaisang was in earnest, if he’d really lost his memories, then telling him the truth would just be needlessly cruel. If his last memory was before the Phoenix Mountain Hunt, then he really was just a clueless young man. Lan Xichen still remembered how dainty Nie Huaisang had looked at that Night Hunt, the slight argument he’d gotten in with Nie Mingjue over being properly dressed for the occasion. It had been back when the two brother’s fights were just a game between them, before Nie Mingjue’s health started to decline and all good humour disappeared from their arguments.

If their places had been reversed, perhaps Nie Huaisang wouldn’t have had the kindness of staying silent. He had proved that he wasn’t above being cruel when the occasion called for it, and he’d shown also in what little regard he held Lan Xichen.

But Lan Xichen wasn’t Nie Huaisang, and the world already held enough cruelty as it was.

“They died because Jin Guangyao made certain choices, and those eventually turned against him,” Lan Xichen claimed. “The role you played in that was no greater or lesser than mine.”

“But I played a role,” Nie Huaisang sharply noted, before sighing. “I thought so. Do you think maybe someone took offence to that and decided to punish me for it?”

“Very few people know what really happened between da-ge and Jin Guangyao, and of those, none are the sort to use curses,” Lan Xichen replied. He paused, considering something. “One is the kind who might figure out how to lift them, though. Huaisang, would you consider coming to Gusu with me to meet Wei Wuxian? If anyone can find how to help you, I think it is him.”

An odd little noise escaped from Nie Huaisang’s lips, something almost like laughter.

“Wei Wuxian is in Gusu? So that’s true too, he really married Lan Wangji? Ah, and here I thought that for sure that one was fake… The future is a really odd place, uh? But… yes, I’ll come. I’m so tired of being on my own, and I trust you, er-ge.”

Lan Xichen quickly stood up and turned away, his eyes suddenly burning with tears he couldn’t allow himself to spill, his chest so tight he nearly couldn’t breathe.

He had thought he’d made his peace with what had happened, with the way it had happened, but to hear Nie Huaisang’s easy profession of trust reopened an old wound. If only he’d shown the same trust after his brother’s death, if only he hadn’t tried to handle that one his own, if only he’d realised that Lan Xichen would have listened to his suspicions, if only Lan Xichen had seen that something had been wrong…

But perhaps there had been nothing to see.

Four months of amnesia, and nobody had noticed anything.

Lan Xichen wondered if he should have taken comfort in this confirmation of Nie Huaisang’s acting skills. He found that at the moment, he couldn’t. Being fooled by a master was still to have been fooled.

“Let’s discuss the details of this later,” Lan Xichen suggested in a strangled voice. “It will be noticed that we’ve both disappeared, and that will fuel gossip. Take a moment to compose yourself, and then…”

“It’s fine, I’m good,” Nie Huaisang replied with perfect steadiness. “May I just borrow some water to clean my face?”

Startled by his tone, Lan Xichen turned to look at him. Nie Huaisang was standing once more, his expression perfectly placid in spite of some lingering redness in his eyes. After he washed the tears and snot off his face, nothing remained of the breakdown he had just gone through. Lan Xichen found himself almost wondering if any of that had happened, if he had just dreamed that moment of fear and vulnerability, that demonstration of trust.

Only time would tell if Nie Huaisang had been sincere, or if this was only another scheme of his.

#xisang #nie huaisang #lan xichen #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #might continue this just because I want nhs to be chilling and laughing with wwx when they meet #and thenhaving a complete breakdown when he's alone with lxc bc wtf happened to wwx why does he have a different face??#jau writes #luke-fone-fabre #nhs amnesia

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rurulaura · 3 years

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digimon tri. rant thing

So, I was making new screenshots of Meiko for the last few weeks to make a phone wallpaper with. Kind of shocking I never did that before isn’t it? As someone who is so obsessed...

So anyway, I was rewatching the series, but fast forwarding to Meiko’s scenes. Doing so made me realize that more things bothered me about the series than I remembered.

I didn’t realize how I wasn’t the only one that thought this not in such a rage mindset. I ran a salt blog between part 1 and 4 where I shitposted. THat blog is now deleted. But I was so emotionally angry, that I couldn’t think straight, if that makes sense. I couldn’t put the logic to my emotions.

It’s been a few years and “rewatching” tri. brought these feelings back, but now I can look at it more logically.. I’m more mentally sound, so I was to see more. Hah, taichi’s goggles reference. See more, understand less. Get it? Well anyway. It ended up a little long. Enjoy.

Initially, anything that bothered me I tried to come up with an explanation for. I just thought back then, surely I am just not a deep enough person to fully comprehend what is obviously here. I don’t remember the last I rewatched tri., probably last year, but this darn pandemic makes feel it’s been a decade. The situation with the 02 kids is something I tried to come up with an explanation for.

Sure, I can see the lead up to their disappearance, discovering Maki’s and Yggdrasil’s plan. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking too. (Ok, but a detective/ hacker 02 squad? How can you say no to that! Can you blame me???) But ultimately, now that I look back on it. Just doesn’t make sense.

\The four of them would have definitely called the other chosen for help. Daisuke and Miyako might be irrational at times, but I think even they would have realized they couldn’t hadle this. Miyako and Iori would have definitely needed Hikari and Takeru by their side for Jogress. They would realized they would need Koushirou for contact. Taichi and Yamato for Omegamon. Plus, the timeline for Reunion to Determination seems to be 2 months. They would have 1,000,000,000% have realized four of their friends were missing. The six of them are hanging out together. Miyako, HIkari, Takeru, and Daisuke are not just in the same grade, But I bet you they are still in the same darn school. I tried to make sense of this. Maybe this would make sense in a week period. But honestly. These 6 idiots would have known.

In Determination, mysterious man shows up as the “Digimon Kaiser” and no one bats an eye. They all 100% think that’s Ken. After everything that poor kid has been through. and to top it all off Imperialdramon. You think Ken would EVER not only USE someonelse’s Digimon for his own doing, BUT PUT HIS PARTNER AND HIS BEST FRIEND’S PARTNER IN POTENTIAL DANGER? TO ACCOMPLISH WHAT EXACTLY? No. Absoulutely not.

In Loss, when “gennai” was blowing up the kids with Mugendramon, one of the kids said “IS that really Gennai?” Then Takeru responds, “No way . Gennai would never do this!”

Takeru, TK. Teeks. Honey, remember how that old geezer didn’t even show up until half way through your adventure to guide you? Remember three years later when he didn’t appear until the world was pretty ending? YOU TRUST THAT GEEZER MORE THAT YOUR FRIEND. How freaking dare you. It was bad enough when Sora also said “Oh, stop Ichijouji-kun!” When she was pinned down and sexually harassed by mysterious man.

I remembered trying to defend this. Saying “Oh, they just didn’t know what to call him.” In Japan there are so many ways to refer to someone in third person. Just like for the non-binary community, They ask to be called “they/them”. It’s not that difficult to find those third person pronouns in English. I mean, even we have had nicknames. Dark Gennai, Kennai, Mysterious Man.

There are some other nuances that didn’t make sense to me in the series. Like in part 5, when Meiko is sitting outside the school after having spoken with Taichi Agumon shows up in front of her. Agumon talks about how he wasn’t scared of the scary story she told. Agumon then states “I love Meicoomon, and I know she loves you too!”. I never got why Meiko teared up and hugged Agumon. I don’t get how that was comforting.

Also in part 5, no one is suprised that Daigo could get into the Digital WOrld? I’m pretty disappointed that they basically used the Original Chosen Children for plot only. Because none of the kids cared that “Hey! How come you can get into the Digital World without a Digivice?” Or Taichi caring in the basement with the 02 kids/gennai with Daigo talking Maki also having partner. Why did you introduce them in this way, if you were just using for plot purposes? You can say, “Oh, it’s just time constraints.”

But there’s so much in tri. where you can say that to. It really does show how sloppy tri. was.

We never really got to see much of Meiko’s personality. As a kid she’s shown as a happy go lucky kid. Seems like adventuring/exploring. I.e. “Meicoomon and I would always play in the woods behind my house.” She also knows to how to make fire. Cool skill. Seen drawing. Cool.

Ok, so what happened in those 6 years to make her to traumatized that she’s so withdrawn and selfloathing? Were she and Meicoomon being chased for that long? Targeted? Without any of the 12 knowing? Koushirou made a huge Chosen Child database, wouldn’t they know if a Chosen Child out there was in that much danger? WOuldn’t they know the DIgital WOrld was being attacked and put in danger by a mutation? Why logically move her to Tokyo 6 years later to “protect her”. Yeah, I get it. For plot reasons. It’s just sloppy.

Like, the transfer student trope is done in anime alllll the time. But this one obviously screams plot convinience. Then to top it off, Meiko moves BACK to Tottori. Why? I get being mortified that you asked your new friends to kill your partner. That you feel you don’t deserve their friendship and that’ll close you off to others. But why move in a 5 month span? Look, I know it’s anime and things don’t have to make sense. But when you have so many plot points just for convenience, it’s sloppy! So poor!

Like, Meiko could just stay in Tokyo. And the end of tri. is just the 12 of them at her door with presents and they have a christmas party. You can still have a one off character live in the same city. Michael and Wallace still live in New York as far I know. and hey, wallace even got a cameo in Kizuna!

Also,, in part 2. Mimi has a discussion with Meiko in the clothing store that Mimi can’t stand people that aren’t honest with themselves. This bothers Meiko. I thought this was just because Meiko knew of the infection and didn’t tell anyone. But later in part 3, Meiko says she knew Meicoomon was special, but not that it would come to this. So the reaction there doesn’t make sense.

Other inappropriate reactions consist of Agumon’s constant “I’m hungry!” jokes during serious moments. “It’s comedy releif for the dark scenes!” For a few sure, not constantly through out 6 movies. It got really old really fast. That also just doesn’t fit their personalities. Patamon’s ship bait in part 6 was not cool.

Also, really don’t like the girls in bikinis. Didn’t like it either. Still makes sense to not like it now.

I think those are my biggest gripes. I’m going rewatch adventure and 02 at some point. I’ll probably have more gripes about the older cast.

#digimon #digimontri #meikomochizuki

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g3nosarchive · 3 years

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ok i genuinely think a lot of other people have this problem but stop inserting yourself when xyz issue is mentioned. when someone is telling you that a person, a celebrity, some franchise is harming their identity or anyone’s identity as a minority, or part of a certain race or religion or anything shut the fuck up and accept it.

they do not need to know your emotional attachment to said thing, your disbelief, your horror, your personal experience - we didn’t ask for all that. we know just how bad it is, cus yk it harms us maybe? we’ve already gone through the cycle of being angry and indignant and now we’re here trying to get you to understand in the hopes that as a friend you do what you’re meant to do when you became friends with us. we are not your constant ball of anger to use whenever you find something that’s “crazy, unbelievably, shockingly” once again, a hate crime, when you decide you want to feel angry and care about it.

more under the cut bc i talk too much

by doing that, you’re making an issue that you didn’t even know about suddenly yours. ask yourself, what is the purpose for telling anyone all that? to get them to sympathize with you personally so you can get a pass because you didn’t know? of course you don’t know, of course you’re unaware, that’s the whole reason why you’re being told in the first place. do not water down the issue or even try to play the ‘everything has some issue like this so there’s no point in going this far’ card. especially as a white person. the reason why you don’t know primarily is because it doesn’t affect you and it doesn’t cross your mind.

when you watch a show with a black character, you don’t care about how off the character design is or how stereotypical and borderline racist the comedy gag surrounding said character is. when you listen to your favorite white music artists or watch your favorite movie with a majority white cast, white staff, white team, and white theme, you don’t care to analyze just how outdated and stereotypical the way that token asian character is portrayed. some of y’all don’t understand and will never understand the mental struggle and awareness forever plugged into the brain of lgbt and/or poc, especially black people when we consume anything, when we go anywhere, when we meet new people, to constantly catch those micro aggressions and know what to avoid.

so when someone tells you insert classic hot mess is racist and you should stop supporting it, one of the worst things you can do beside outright rejecting it is to defend it and insinuate that we don’t know what we’re talking about, that we need 30 different sources to prove it all, that you don’t think (for example taylor swifts dream colonized africa mv) is bad. you try to say the thing or person that is actively promoting all this homophobia, racism, transmisogyny etc needs to be kindly educated, is trying their best, will learn soon enough, just wasn’t educated, will do better in the future (esp looking at u kpop stans). does their apparent regret but refusal to properly apologize actually matter? the damage has already been done.

that in itself is a privilege i could never have. i don’t even try being a fan of any major white celebrity or any kpop group because i guarantee if i search up their name with ‘racist’, ‘sexist’, ‘homophobic’, ‘transphobic’, ‘cultural appropriation’ behind it something or some image is bound to show up. you will all say “oh they haven’t done anything yet” but when it comes out that they did, they have, and they do not care about who it affects, suddenly it’s a bombshell dropped on you out of nowhere.

it’s not that hard to spot these things actually. if your fav is constantly putting themselves against people of color, saying shady shit about non cishets while being a cishet themself, saying one thing and doing another, or has been silent when their voice was expected to speak up, shouldn’t you notice? y’all will reblog all these posts but in reality only 10% are actually reading and listening and actually digesting this information for future use.

and i think the thing that pisses me off is this is all from personal experience where i’m speaking from. over the past 2 days the amount of times if i’ve heard about the “tea that dropped w meghan markle” is ridiculous and annoying. a girl texted me and i sat there and i realized that she does this on a daily basis to fuel my anger and get me to validate her own useless anger. of course i knew about it and i wasn’t surprised at all - she’s still a black woman.

almost every black blog on here, when they get big enough, deals with some sort of weird shit surrounding their blackness. if you get big on speaking about issues you are now this emotionless token ‘smart black person i can actually trust’ to use as your replacement for google. this is not to say asking questions is bad, but it is so easy to pull up some of the shit you guys ask for. some people get called slurs directly, targeted for being too black or not black enough, attacked for their features and etc and someone mentioned this before but the only people that care in those situations are other black people themselves. white people will have blm in their bio but turn the other way the minute some anon starts acting up in their mutuals’ inbox, calling them a dark1e because they felt confident enough to post some selfies. and then you get sad when we dont go to you for any kind of support?

i’ve stated sometimes that asking me questions on issues and things is okay, but one of the main reasons i say that is because whether i say it or not, i’ll be asked questions and expected to know everything and i am your personal walking encyclopedia and ofc it’s natural for me to have all this information in my head, as if i didn’t research it myself. but then i think about the numerous amounts of people that specifically say not to ask them this shit because it really does tire you out, that they don’t want to have to deal with this in any space but they still get them.

and then the ones that don’t even know themself so people will use them as an example and say “well this person didn’t know and they’re ‘marginalized identity’ so it should be fine for me too”. good god just apologize, show that you really care, change your behavior and move on. do you think it was fun being asked the statistics for george floyd’s and other black peoples death in class? that you were being inclusive and giving me a chance to show off my intelligence, to prove to others that i really had something up here and you were my greatest star eyes white friend that gave me that chance? i cant close my posts like this properly but i want you to think about that shit and actually ask yourself if you’d do that. a lot of you will read this and think “i’m not that type of racist” “i don’t have those deep seated prejudices in me” yes you do. you just haven’t been called out on it.

for all the shit ive dealt with above, if i’ve ever talked to you about this before dont come to me to apologize i do not need it and you are not the only person i’ve received this from. i guarantee you that there’s about 20 other people i’ve thought about while writing this post considering i’m a black person in the real world, so keep your guilt to yourself an deal with it

white people don’t add on to this

#important #antiblackness #george floyd #death mention #ok to rb #more than ok but #here it is 😇#ill rb this everyday if i have to

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introvertguide · 3 years

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Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964); AFI #39

The most recent movie for the group to review was the Kubrick dark comedy, Dr. Strangelove (I am not writing out the whole title each time). This film has some of the most legitimately funny lines of bewilderment, with some occasions involving an actor playing across from himself. For most film goers, this will be Peter Seller’s most famous role since he plays three main characters, all with different accents, appearances, and quirks. The film was nominated for 4 Academy Awards (Best Picture, Best Director, Best Screenplay, and Best Actor) but did not take home any trophies. The film did win best picture at the BAFTAs. This film was definitely in the style of Kubrick, but it was in a genre that I don’t believe he delved into again. I want to review the plot before discussing further, so let me get the usual out of the way:

SPOILER ALERT!!! I AM ABOUT TO GIVE AWAY THE WHOLE PLOT OF THE FILM!!! IF YOU WANT TO WATCH THE FILM ON YOUR OWN WITHOUT HAVING ANYTHING SPOILED, STOP NOW AND WATCH THE FILM!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

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At the start, we are introduced to United States Air Force Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper (Sterling Hayden) who is commander of Burpelson Air Force Base. This base houses a group of B-52 bombers armed with hydrogen bombs that are constantly in the air. The planes are constantly within two hours from their targets inside the USSR in case of nuclear war. General Ripper orders his executive officer, Group Captain Lionel Mandrake of the UK Royal Air Force (Peter Sellers), to put the base on alert and to issue "Wing Attack Plan R" to the patrolling bombers, one of which is commanded by Major T. J. "King" Kong (Slim Pickens). All of the aircraft commence an attack flight on the USSR, and set their radios to allow communications only through their CRM 114 discriminators, which was designed to accept only communications preceded by a secret three-letter code known only to General Ripper. Mandrake discovers that no attack order has been issued by the Pentagon and tries to stop Ripper, who locks them both in his office. Ripper tells Mandrake that he believes the Soviets have been fluoridating American water supplies to pollute the "precious bodily fluids" of Americans. Mandrake realizes Ripper has gone insane.

In the War Room at the Pentagon, General Buck Turgidson (George C Scott) briefs President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers again) and other officers about how "Plan R" enables a senior officer to launch a retaliatory nuclear attack on the Soviets if all superiors have been killed in a first strike on the United States. It would take two days to try every CRM code combination to issue the recall order, but the planes are due to reach their targets within hours. Muffley orders the U.S. Army to storm the base and arrest General Ripper. Turgidson then attempts to convince Muffley to let the attack continue, but Muffley refuses. Instead, he brings Soviet ambassador Alexei de Sadeski (Peter Bull) into the War Room to telephone Soviet Premier Dimitri Kissov on the "hotline". Muffley warns the Premier of the impending attack, and offers to reveal the positions of the bombers and their targets so that the Soviets can protect themselves.

After a heated discussion in Russian with the Premier, the ambassador informs President Muffley that the Soviet Union had created a doomsday machine as a nuclear deterrent; it consists of many buried bombs jacketed with "cobalt-thorium G", which are set to detonate automatically should any nuclear attack strike the country. Within two months after detonation, the cobalt-thorium G would encircle the planet in a radioactive shroud that would render the Earth's surface uninhabitable. The device cannot be deactivated, as it is programmed to explode if any such attempt is made. The President's wheelchair-bound scientific advisor, former Nazi German Dr. Strangelove (Peter Sellers one more time), points out that such a doomsday machine would only be an effective deterrent if everyone knew about it; Alexei replies that the Soviet Premier had planned to reveal its existence to the world the following week.

Meanwhile, U.S. Army troops arrive at Burpelson, and General Ripper commits suicide. Mandrake identifies Ripper's CRM code from his desk blotter and relays it to the Pentagon. Using the code, Strategic Air Command successfully recalls all of the bombers except Major Kong's, whose radio equipment has been damaged in a missile attack. The Soviets attempt to find it, but Kong has the bomber attack a closer target due to dwindling fuel. As the plane approaches the new target, a Soviet ICBM site, the crew is unable to open the damaged bomb bay doors. Kong enters the bay and repairs the broken electrical wiring while sitting on a H-bomb, whereupon the doors open and the bomb is dropped. Kong joyfully straddles the bomb as it falls and detonates over the target.

Back in the War Room, Dr. Strangelove recommends that the President gather several hundred thousand people to live in deep underground mines where the radiation will not penetrate. He suggests a 10:1 female-to-male ratio for a breeding program to repopulate the Earth once the radiation has subsided. Worried that the Soviets will do the same, Turgidson warns about a "mineshaft gap" while Alexei secretly photographs the war room. Dr. Strangelove declares he has a plan, but then rises from his wheelchair and announces "Mein Führer, I can walk!" as the Doomsday Machine activates. The film ends with a montage of many nuclear explosions, accompanied by Vera Lynn's rendition of the song "We'll Meet Again".

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This is a pretty weird film, but it has some of the funniest lines in cinema. Discussions of not letting a Russian envoy into the war room because he will “see the big board,” the president announcing there is no fighting in the war room, a crazy general constantly talking about a plot to steal American bodily fluids, and a discussion about how the high ranking officials and generals would be hidden in shelters with a 10-1 ratio of hot women to men with the expectation of constant impregnation which everybody suddenly favors: it is all absurd. But I really love it and laugh every time I watch.

The three roles of Peter Sellers is especially noteworthy, as all of his characters are so different. He plays a very British foreign exchange officer (I am not sure this exists), an absolutely whacky former Nazi scientist, and the straight man of the film in the form of the US president. Since Dr. Strangelove was an advisor to the president, there were many scenes in which Peter Sellers was acting across from a stunt shoulder or the back of a head that was supposed to be him. He did a fantastic job of making light of total world destruction during the cold war.

One very notable thing about the acting of Peter Sellers was that he had a couple of ad libs during the movie. Stanley Kubrick is not a director that particularly cares if he gets along with his actors, often times demanding dozens of takes for even the simplest of background scenes. Long dialogue scenes are repeated over and over to the point that many actors did not want to work with Kubrick. And still, the director seemed to like Sellers quite a bit and kept a couple of the takes that were ad-libbed, specifically for the character of Dr. Strangelove. Perhaps the crazy former Nazi character was so unpredictable that random whacky outbursts (like the scream for “Mein Fuhrer” at the end) seemed appropriate.

A little side note is that this was the first film appearance of James Earl Jones as one of the bombardiers on the B-52. He was known for his work in the theatre at the time, so of course he had a bit part in which he was mostly covered in a flight suit and said very little. Now that is a misuse of talent.

A point about the movie that I was unaware but was pointed out by a follower of the group was that the promotional material for the film shows that the plane was named “Leper Colony” (thank you @themightyfoo). This implies that this group was actually a bunch of screw ups, which is part of the overall joke that this group was given access to world ending bombing capabilities. Maybe it was assumed that the order to drop the bombs would never be given and this group was just given this detail to get them out of the way.

So does this movie belong on the AFI list? Yes, but maybe not ranked so high. It has a lot of name recognition, but I think that is more due to the very distinct naming and the titular role. Maybe the notoriety is also due to the subject matter and the time it was released. It is a fine film with great acting, but I find it hard to put above Jaws, Rocky, or Taxi Driver. I guess that is more my humble opinion, but I agree the list would be lacking without this film. So would I recommend it? Absolutely. It is an interesting story about how red tape allowed one high ranking individual to literally destroy the world. And it is a joke. It is such a well told story that they had to put a disclaimer at the front. A great lesson, even today.

#dr. strangelove #stanley kubrick #top 100 #movies #black and white #nuclear war #cold war #dark comedy #peter sellers #george c. scott #introvert #introverts

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aros001 · 3 years

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Read through light novel vol. 15. Random thoughts.

Well, I just found one of my favorite volumes of this series. For all the right and wrong reasons.

There is a certain trope or term I've heard of for comedy. Where a joke or skit can be really funny but can also go a little too far with the performance to where it can be a little annoying. But there are also plenty of times where the joke/skit takes it even FURTHER than that and it circles back around to being funny again. Naofumi with Raph-chan is a little like that. His love for the little furball was cute and funny at first, then it became a little odd and maybe a little cringey, and now it's gone to such an extreme that it's circled back to funny again, with the Shield hero now commanding a legion of Raph-chans. Also, Naofumi and Ruft bonding over Raph-chan is genuinely really sweet. Between that, how much he clings to Naofumi (or Raph-chan) when he's scared, and just the liking he's taken to the kid, I think Naofumi has definitely found his son figure. Honestly their relationship feels a little more parent and child than even Naofumi and child Raphtalia's was and it took me a bit before I figured out why that was, at least for me.

Naofumi was very parental to Raphtalia and does still somewhat think of her as his daughter. However, when they first met it was also a situation where Raphtalia had to grow up very quickly, and not just physically through leveling. She was bought as a slave and didn't want to go back to the trader. She wanted to fight back against the things that took her family and village from her. She wanted to be Naofumi's sword. She was the sole reason he could gain any significant experience and level up into the Shield Hero he needed to be. The romantic feelings she gained for him were almost certainly a factor but overall, for her sake and his, staying a child, staying as someone's daughter, was not an option. What Naofumi needed wasn't a daughter but a partner. Someone he could lean on and trust.

With Ruft, there is no need for him to grow up quite yet. Yes, Naofumi took him to the village so he could get some experience with the real world and he does plan on toughening him up, but Naofumi is not dependent on Ruft like he was Raphtalia. There's no pressure for Ruft to grow up because Naofumi and everyone else will be fine regardless, so he has more freedom to be a kid. And unlike Filo and the village kids, he doesn't have the added complication of also being Naofumi's slave. Naofumi can treat him and care for him like a kid.

Side note, but is it weird that, even though I know he's related to Raphtalia, before I finally was given an image of him I kept on imagining Ruft looking like Gohan from the very beginning of Dragon Ball Z? Chinese Emperor clothes and all. It feels a little unintentionally racist of me given that Q'ten Lo is meant to resemble isolationist period Japan.

“The Bow Hero mentioned that he has a skill which allows him to scout out the surrounding area from a higher vantage point,” Raphtalia recalled. Itsuki said that? I mean, he was the Bow Hero. It wouldn’t be strange for him to have a skill that allowed him to search for distant targets. That sounded like quite a convenient skill too.

I'm glad about this little detail. I was just saying in the last volume that it felt like the other three heroes didn't seem to have any abilities that weren't directly attack-based. And then later with the hero conference we get even more added to their arsenals beyond just "attack, big attack, and bigger attack" like they'd been showing up until now. Before it felt like the other three could be a bit interchangeable in battle with Naofumi, as it's three attackers and one defender, with range being the only difference. But now, between the four of them, it's a good mix of attack, defense, support, healing, and debuffs. The Four Holy Heroes actually work as a party together.

“R-Raphtalia. Brother. I just want to go and see Master Naofumi! Move aside,” Atla stated.

“No,” Raphtalia replied.

“Never,” replied her brother.

“Raph!” barked a horde of Raphs.

I can hear the freaking echo! I'm dying!

“To be more accurate, they are filolials who act like mountain bandits, attacking wagons carrying off goods and stuff like that,” Melty continued.

...

“Hold on a moment. What the hell is going on then? And—” I finished my thought in my head. If this was the issue that Fitoria wanted help with, then . . . “You’re telling me filolials fight over wagons?”

“Yes. That’s what I’ve been told,” Melty confirmed. Uwah! So she wanted me to resolve some kind of turf war? If these were wild filolials, they weren’t going to go down without a fight.

“The loser has to give their wagon to the winner,” Melty explained. “Also, if it’s the season of love, they can only find love by defeating their opponent.” What were they, hermit crabs?

This is going exactly where I think it's going, isn't it?

[Two chapters later]

“It’s been a while, father-in-law. It’s me, I say, Motoyasu the street racer!”

F******************************************K!

I get Motoyasu is under the effect of his curse series but...it's just so hard to like this guy. It was even before Witch betrayed him and his curse activated. Especially when he uses his Temptation ability to "show Filo his love", basically trying to force her into loving him. Thank goodness it didn't work and that Raph-chan can clear away the effects it did have. Naofumi could stand to be more considerate of Raphtalia when it comes to the Raphs but Motoyasu has been straight up harassing Filo. He tried to keep her trapped in her "angel" form when rescuing her from Naofumi's "brainwashing" and probably was going to keep her that way forever if Witch didn't have her "accidentally" killed along with Melty when removing the brainwashing. I'm pretty sure she was the main person he wanted to peep on in the baths at Cal Mira. He stole her favorite wagon and transformed it into...that. And then there's the shape of...

No...

No!

I'd heard a rumor but...

NO!

I thought it was a web novel thing!

WHY DOES MOTOYASU HAVE A DILDO SPEAR?!?!

Or...god, what if it's not a dildo?!

“I’m taking your daughter. Using my Lust Envy Spear IV,” Motoyasu exclaimed. God. This was all depressing me intently.

“Filo-tan! I will stop you and take your purity!” Motoyasu thrust his spear at Filo.

“Boo!” She wasn’t interested. Then I noticed what he was pointing at. Below the waist, shall we say.

....................Kill him. Kill him. F**king kill him. I don't care about the consequences to the world. Kill him. Kill him now. Have Aura and Mare come over from Overlord and Iris come over from Konosuba. They'll all team up with Filo so that the lolis he loves so much can snap his f**king neck.

I get he's under the effects of a curse (two curses even; lust and envy) but he's almost everything he and Witch accused Naofumi of being. He's brainwashing people and an attempted rapist. All he's missing is abusing his slaves and kidnapping Melty.

...F**k. Okay, back to reality.

So Quirks exist in Itsuki's universe? Last volume I made a comparison between Motoyasu #2 and Bakugo from My Hero Academia because they fit similar tropes for me, but in terms of actual backstory and character, Itsuki is definitely the better comparison. Thought he was special in elementary school because of his powers but got slapped with a bit of reality upon entering the special school for powers. For both of them, this fed into an inferiority complex. It does also add more to Itsuki's hero complex. Bakugo's Quirk and natural talents had him overpraised from youth, leading him to fear the failure of living up to expectations of him. For Itsuki, it goes a little the other way, where his expectations for himself were high, got shattered because the powers above his level were much greater and thus nothing was expected to become of him in comparison, and so he fell into console games where he could be important and the main character for once.

None of this forgives how he treated Rishia but I'd still rather have this understanding and explanation of his character than not. He and Trash have a slightly similar problem for me, and it's not the story's fault. Itsuki's curse has left him pretty fried and emotionless, though it's slowly coming back to him. He hasn't really had a chance to redeem himself. He's working to better himself, yes, but he's also in a state where he'll do everything he's told. He had a nice, split-second apology to Rishia he managed to get out but that's about it. Similarly with Trash, he and Itsuki have sympathetic backstories but he is so lost in his hatred the Shield Hero, Siltvelt, and a few other things that he has not taken responsibility or shown remorse for any of the things that had happened because of him, including his youngest daughter nearly being killed multiple times. Before he was half-crazy and now after meeting Alta and Fohl he just seems withered away and beaten. Trash and Itsuki's situations are sympathetic but they've yet to do anything that puts me on their side beyond basic human empathy and pity.

Compare that to Ren, whom I'm glad I quite like now. He never did anything as bad as Trash or Itsuki, nor does he have as tragic a backstory as either (that's been told to us yet anyway), but he still felt remorse for the bad things he did do and has actively worked to try and make up for them or make certain they don't happen again, because he knows he screwed up. I'm not just supposed to pity him. Like with Naofumi, I'm supposed to see him rise and he does, at several points in this volume being very helpful to very heroic. And I like how he and Naofumi contrast with each other without completely butting heads like stubborn bulls, like over the bandits for justice. They're both heroes but Ren is working hard to be a real hero to make up for the lack of one he was before, while Naofumi outright sees himself as a bad person, that all his good deeds are for selfish motivations and that he's not deserving of being hailed as a hero to begin with.

Well, I think that was all I was going to talk about. Yes sir.

...

.......

.................

.....................

..............................Alta on the cover. Alta on the inner art and quote page. Most of this book being about Fohl's fear over Alta's safety. There were so many red flags you'd think the Phoenix's explosion broke the fourth wall and set fire to the pages themselves.

Yeah, this death was better than Ost's. Ost's death still worked despite her short time with Naofumi's party because there was still emotion during that time and she still is often referenced, remembered, and mourned for even in volumes well after her death, so it feels less cheap and manipulative and more like it actually meant something. With Alta though, it's not just better just because we knew her longer (though that's certainly a factor) but because of the effect on the main characters, especially Naofumi. The raw pain, the denial, the begging, the self-blame, the sheer seething anger, the emptiness. Even the way it's written when she first jumps in the way and after the attack finally ends, it feels like the aftermath of a grenade. Everything is blurred and shaky, everything is silenced except for the ringing in his ears and its not entirely clear what's going on, only that something bad just happened. Naofumi runs through every emotion you'd want from someone like him and it has an even more personal meaning than that. Alta sacrificing herself for him gave Naofumi a bit of a hard slap in the face as to what everyone he cares about would feel if he sacrificed himself for them, which he's tried doing a few time already. It was a very good send-off for Alta.

This was also both the best and worst time for Naofumi to finally be told outright that Raphtalia loves him. Looking forward to either loving or being very frustrated with where this goes. Though regardless, that final art of them just hugging and crying it out is going to hold a special place in my heart.

Trash was apparently the Seven Star Staff Hero. I’d never seen him holding the staff and honestly wondered if the original king was dead and this was just a doppelganger.

Just where was he hiding the Seven Star Staff?

After the dildo spear, please don't ask me to imagine where Trash hides his staff.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/shieldbro/comments/fndipx/read_through_light_novel_vol_15_random_thoughts/

#rising of the shield hero #random thoughts #reddit repost

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cynergy-laughter · 4 years

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Obey Me! One Master to Rule Them All! Fanfic #4

A Different Way to Exercise (MC x Beelzebub) (Comedy-Fluff) (Tickle Fic) [Word Count: 1921]

By: @cynergy-laughter

You had gotten finished with your assignments from RAD, and you were taking a break. You went around to try and find something to do. Maybe Asmo or Mammon would escort you around town? But then you heard a groan coming from Beel and Belphie’s room. You leered a bit and knocked on the door. It was a few seconds, but soon, Beel had opened the door and looked down at you, it was like he suddenly lit up.

“[MC]! How are you?” Beel smiled wide as he hugged you and pulled you into his room!

“Gah! Hehey Beel, I’m feeling secure in your embrace, how about you?” You asked, hugging him back.

“Careful [MC], he might eat you.” Belphie said from his bed, with headphones half-on-half-off his ears, giving a smile as he saw Beel cuddling you.

“That might be true… I was just doing a work out, and I’m feeling a bit hungry… you have any snacks?” Beel tilted his head… so cute.

“Uhh, yeah, what would you like? I have fruit snacks, chips, cookies, pocky, umm… snack cakes…” you list off.

“Yes.” Beel said, holding out both of his hands, to which you gave him everything you had from your long jacket with big pockets. I’m talking about gigantic pockets.

“Beel, if you eat those, you’re gonna have to do something about those calories.” Belphie warned as he continued relaxing on his bed.

“Belphie… working up a sweat made me hungry, and i won’t last until dinner…” Beel said as he opened all the fruit snack packs into his hand and popped them into his mouth.

“Well, just try to take the snack cakes out of the plastic before you eat them?” You asked, putting your hand on his arm.

“That happened one time, and we got it out.” Beel sighed as he carefully took the whole snack cake out of the plastic and put it into his mouth.

“Well, What are you gonna work out? You already did your arms, legs, and abs. And it’s too late to go for a run.” Belphie said.

Beel stopped the snack session and looked down at the handful of chips. “... You’re right… what else can I train?”

You thought about it, you had some thoughts, making working out Beel’s glutes, maybe push ups to work the core? Wait… this could be perfect… “I have a suggestion!” You say excitedly, earning the attention of Beel and Belphie, “How about we work on your endurance and reflexes?”

Beel raised his eyebrow and tilted his head. “Explain…”

“I suggest a tickle fight! A mixture of endurance training, wrestling, reflexes, and a bit of skill! And it helps out with stress as well!” You say, smiling, though Beel was looking at you like you had grown two new heads. Meanwhile, there was a bit of snickering from Belphie.

“MC, you can’t be serious! Out of all the brothers to ask to have a tickle fight with… you choose Beel? You don’t have a chance at winning at all, he’s probably the least sensitive out of all of us.” Belphie chuckled.

“It’s not about winning, it’s a bonding exercise, and on top of that, it’s a more playful version of wrestling.” You defended.

“Yeah, wrestling, which would be no contest against Beel! If anything, he’d be giving you a work out, AND a run for your tickle monster title.” Belphie smirked and shook his head a bit, reveling in being the one with sense right now.

You had to admit, Belphie was right, Beelzebub was the least sensitive of the brothers, in fact, you tried tickling him a couple of times, and he has only given you a soft giggle. Maybe this wouldn’t be such a good idea?

“Hmm… it does sound fun… but, Belphie’s right, I’d make you hang up your tickle monster title…” Beel said, “Hmm… MC… I have an idea about making this an even playing field…”

“...What?” Belphie double takes looking at Beel.

“W-What? What do you have in mind?” You ask, intrigued, to which Beel smiled and went over to his shelf and took a book of curses. “I sometimes use some of these curses to give myself a bit of challenge during some workouts. Look on page 325.”

You flipped through the book and it seemed your face lit up. “A Sensitivity Curse… oh my gosh, I didn’t know there was such a thing!” You said excitedly.

“I never had a chance or reason to try this curse out in my workout, but, maybe I can use this to adopt new training options.” Beel said with a smile. “Plus, it’ll give me a chance to get closer to you, after all, according to someone special to me, it’s a bonding exercise too.” You blushed at that.

“Beel, how long have you had that… did you take that from our library?” Belphie raised an eyebrow concerned.

“Nah, I bought one for myself, Levi helped me find it online.” Beel said. “He apparently said it was the latest edition, so no doubt, Satan would want to borrow it if he found out.”

“Okay… let’s see if I can get this right, stand facing your target, and focus you gaze on his or her body… and say this spell…” you said as you silently read it, “Okay… Beel, are you ready?”

“Do it.” Beel planted his feet flat on the ground in a half-squatting stance.

“As a brush of the breeze shall make you giggle, and the sight of feather make thee squirm and wiggle, each poke and prod will grow your laughter, and shall be dispelled a night thereafter~.” You said as you used one hand to cast the curse on Beel, making him shiver everywhere as the magic swirled around him. As the lights calmed, Beel stood where he stood, and he straightened himself up a bit.

“How do you feel?” You asked, setting the book down.

“I mean… I don’t feel any different…” Beel looked around at himself and then looked back at you.

“Hmm… lift up your arms, I wanna try something.” You said, and then you used one finger on each side to poke Beel’s sides. Beel squeaked and took a few steps back, holding his sides. You and Belphie both widened your eyes at his reaction. “Hehe, well, it looks like the curse works~.”

“So that’s what it’s like to be ticklish like Belphie…” Beel said, blushing.

Belphie blushed after Beel said that. “I am not ticklish! It just surprises me…”

You smile and go over to Belphie. “Oh does it now?” You said playfully.

“Stay over there, [MC], I will get you so much worse.” Belphie rose from his lying position slightly, getting ready to run.

“He’s right, you have a match with me.” Beel said, slipping his shoes off.

“Hehe, that’s right, I guess you’re safe for now~.” You wink at the blushing Belphie before heading over to Beel and getting into a wrestling stance. “Oh! We need to establish a safe word, in case it gets too much for us, I know that it can sometimes get overwhelming.

Beel blinked and thought about it. “Oh… hmm… How about Chicken?”

You giggle a bit. “Sure, that works, and every time we say it, we take a break before continuing. Unless you mean to stop altogether.”

Beel got into his wrestling stance. “Sounds good to me. Now, let’s go.” He began circling the plush carpet around his room along with you on the opposite side of the room. You both were studying each other’s movements, you knew Beel wouldn’t move until you made one, especially since he’s pretty much as ticklish as you are at this moment.

You move in to try and flutter a bit on his side, to which Beel’s left hand grabbed your wrist and tried to tickle your side! You got hit with the tickles, but you also had your other arm, so you shot your other hand up into Beel’s left armpit, and wiggle your fingers.

“A-Aaaahaha! Hehey! Gehet outta thehehere!” Beel tried to pull away from the pit tickling, to which you followed his moving.

“Hehehehe! I will nohohot! In fact, I think I’ll go a bit further down~!” You teased as you moved your fingers further down and back up Beel’s arm, to which Beel started laughing a bit more , especially on his forearm and toward the inside of his elbow!

Belphie was intrigued at his brother’s significant octave jump. “Hehe, MC, I think you found a weak spot.”

“Noohohoho!” Beel let go of your wrist and pulled his arm away, but you moved in to tackle Beel onto the ground and try to wrestle him into a pin. But it seemed that wrestling Beel would be a bit of a struggle, it seemed you had to be crafty. Beel was trying to reach for your armpits now, but you grabbed his hands and began to essentially arm wrestle with intense playful eye contact.

“Come on MC. Take him down.” Belphie smiles as he watched your wrestling match from the comfort and height of his bed.

You chuckle as you kept on trying to move your arms to get toward a swift open attack. You suddenly let go of Beel’s hands and you began squeezing his sides, which made Beel’s waist wiggle back and forth, trying to avoid the squeezes!

“Nah! Nahahaha! Stahap! Stahahap!” Beel laughed, almost doubling over as his waist shook side to side, he tried to tickle your armpits, but this new sensitivity proved to be a bit much to handle.

“Hahaha! You’re making Beel dance!” Belphie chuckled a bit, teasing Beel and making him blush.

“Hehe, you are really cute when you blush.” You say as you went and tickled his abdomen. Beel squealed and rolled away laughing, holding his stomach, both you and Belphie were shocked at this reaction.

“Chihihicken! Chickehehehen!” Beel was a blushing, semi-sweating mess by the time he finished rolling away and began panting on the floor.

You smile as you crawled over to Beel, and sat next to him, on your legs. “Sorry, was that a good spot I got you?

“Just a combination of the teasing, and the belly… it was a bit much… but I kinda liked it… it wasn’t as torturous as I thought it was gonna be…” Beel panted, and looked up at you.

“Well, now we both know that you like short tickly bursts rather than longer periods of tickling” You scooted closed to Beel, lifted his head up, and placed it in your lap, and began to pet his head.

“Mmmm… that feels nice…” Beel said, closing his eyes and sheepishly smiling.

“Hey, I thought you were just taking a break, that seems like more than just a break.” Belphie crossed his arms, raising a brow.

You look at Belphie and smile at Beel. “What say you? Hehe, you wanna continue?” You ask, winking at Beel.

Beel heard what Belphie said, and then saw you winking at him, and he realized what you meant. “Heh, yeah, let’s do it.”

Beel rubbed your face tenderly before getting up and you both began stretching a bit.

“Belphie, if you could say one, two, go, please?” You say, with getting into stance.

“Alright, if we’re all ready.” Belphie rubbed his hands together. Oh they were ready. “One… Two… NOOOOO!”

You and Beel didn’t even wait for Go, as you both turned towards Belphie and jumped at him, on his bed, with Belphie’s wide-eyed-being yelling in surprise.

#obey me #obey me!#one master to rule them all #obey me main character #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #beelzebub x mc #tickles #tickle fic #comedy #fluff fic #tickle fluff #swd beelzebub #protecc the bean #must protecc at all costs #i love these bois #i love them all

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diavolodigitale · 3 years

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The Hitchhiker's Guide to Andromeda Galaxy - pt.1 Aya

Okay, hear me out. I know nobody wanted this, but here it is: a fairly short story about m!Ryder/Evfra that consists of 4 parts and most likely will not have any continuation.

Beware though, this is the first piece of fiction I’ve ever written in English. I did my best to make it sound less awkward, but I’m still not sure about the results. But it will get better, I promise.

Genres: comedy, romance (vaguely), friendship maybe, nothing serious, really.

Pairing: m!Ryder/Evfra (be careful, it’s slash if you didn’t realize it yet).

Rating: PG

Size: around 5 pages

Pt.1 - Pt.2 - Pt.3 - Pt.4 ----- All chapters in PDF

Ryder entered the Resistance HQ accompanied by light clanking of his gear. Weeks of travelling non-stop and picking up challenging fights made him sturdier and more skilled, meaning he would usually carry more than just a sniper rifle and an asari sword. Less sneaky, yes, but who cared if he was able to survive in the wilds of unknown planets however long it was necessary.

“Evfra,” muttered he in an indifferent voice. Obviously, the office of the Resistance leader was always his one and only destination point on Aya.

“Ryder,” forwarded Evfra as inhospitably as he always did, seemingly not paying any attention to his guest. Ryder knew that he did it on purpose every time and tried to do his best to disregard this act of covert hostility.

“Why are you here?” asked the angara, realizing there was no way Ryder would leave after simple greeting.

“I had some business on Aya, so I decided to come by and say hi.”

Evfra’s face showed a clearly annoyed and dissatisfied expression similar to when humans roll their eyes. He sucked his teeth, becoming more and more aggressive with every second he and Ryder proceeded to be in the same room.

“There’s no need to be so unkindly, you know I never come without a cause,” said Ryder apologetically and awkwardly laughed.

“Actually, you always do,” said Evfra disapprovingly. “Intercoms exist for a reason, and that reason is communicating with other individuals remotely. I’d rather you didn’t come here every time you want to chit-chat.”

“Believe me, I have a whole crew available for that. Moreover, none of them is so incredibly unwilling to speak to me, which is a great plus. And also, they’re all on my ship at any time so I don’t have to fly anywhere. Oh, and—”

“Get to the point, Ryder,” rudely interrupted Evfra. “I don’t have all day to suffer through your chattery,” he added and started scrolling reports more furiously than Ryder had ever seen him do, appearing as if he was enormously busy. Most likely pretending.

“Right, so… About that favor you asked me for… You know, on Voeld,” mumbled Ryder, looking at his feet. “So… I did everything I could there. People saved, data found, a-and…”

“Mhm.”

Ryder stood awkwardly, not knowing what to say or do. He expected at least some kind of reaction to his words, but if his help really meant so little to this man, he struggled to think of what could really support the Resistance and its cause and, more importantly, give humans some advantages in negotiations with angara.

Realizing Ryder didn’t have much else to say on that topic, Evfra struggled to make an effort to continue their conversation.

“I’ve seen the reports. The scouts you rescued can become significant assets in the war with kett. The information they possess can turn out to be useful for all of us in the long run.”

“You’re welcome.” A self-satisfied smirk appeared on Ryder’s thin lips as he felt that at least something he had done was appreciated.

Evfra casted a long unemotional glance at Ryder, unintentionally forcing him to hide his barely visible smile in confusion.

After a few seconds of odd staring, Evfra finally broke the oppressive silence.

“Is there anything else worth discussing? As I said, I still have other matters that need sorting out.”

“Not really, but…”

Ryder was shuffling around, trying to think of a decent ground for staying and continuing the talk for at least a little longer when he noticed a fresh cut wound on Evfra’s arm.

“What’s that on your arm? What happened?” he asked, sincerely worried.

Evfra immediately pulled back his wounded arm when Ryder tried to grab it and took a step back.

“None of your business, human. Since we are done talking, I recon you should leave.”

Ryder, having by this time developed a habit of not obeying Evfra’s orders, was surely ready to start protesting, when SAM’s monotonous voice echoed in his head.

“Pathfinder, it is highly unadvisable for you to dispute with the Resistance leader. He is infamous for his wild temper and unpredictability.”

“Everything’s fine, SAM,” murmured Ryder, “just let me handle it.”

“That… thing in your head. What is it saying?”

Evfra looked interested and a little repelled at the same time. That wasn’t the first time the Pathfinder faced such a reaction to the fact that an AI had a free access to his body and thoughts. The majority of the people he met were more than sure that nothing good could come out of it.

“That your wound should be treated as soon as possible or else...” he responded mysteriously.

“Or else what?”

“Consequences.”

The leader of the Resistance frowned, but managed to calm himself down and just let out a loud sigh instead of giving way to his emotions and becoming rude again. He now looked composed, although the undertone of hostility was still in the air.

Ryder stood still only for a moment, and then, using Evfra’s unpreparedness, dashed towards him in a desperate attempt to get closer and check the wound himself. Being a trained and experienced soldier, Evfra reacted a little quicker than Ryder anticipated and managed to evade the intrusion into his personal space, causing Ryder to lose his balance for a split second.

The understanding of where the potential scuffle was going came immediately, so Ryder didn’t try to counterattack and instead darted into the direction opposite to Evfra’s. Angara’s puzzlement by Pathfinder’s behaviour, however, didn’t influence his combat abilities and tactical thinking in any way. He decided to attack before his opponent would try to take him by surprise once again. He clenched his fist and made an abrupt movement with his uninjured hand, targeting the belly of the human.

Ryder was thrown away for almost a meter just to dramatically land on the floor, generating a cacophony of noises produced by the whole array of his gear hitting a hard surface.

“Pathfinder, you could have dodged that punch without much effort. Your intentions remain unclear to me,” rang SAM’s voice in Ryder’s head.

Ryder ignored him completely and continued to lie on the floor with little to no motion. His stomach almost didn’t hurt because he had actually been prepared to take that blow.

Having not many other options, Evfra called out Ryder’s name to check if he was alright. He consciously chose not to punch with all his force, meaning it obviously couldn’t be fatal or even do much damage to a person wearing full set of armor.

Receiving no response, Evfra called out again.

Silence.

The Resistance leader, thinking about how many problems the human Pathfinder really brought with him, moved closer to inspect the injured. Harming him could possibly ruin the alliance between their species so it was preferable that the Pathfinder left safe and sound. Even if Evfra genuinely wanted him to suffer a little bit for how irritating and importunate he was.

He moved closer and knelt before the seemingly unconscious Pathfinder. He heard him breathe slowly and steadily which, from Evfra’s knowledge of human physiology, meant that he was most likely okay.

The moment Evfra started leaning to take a closer look at the fallen opponent, he noticed a slight movement of Pathfinder’s hand. This time his instincts didn’t serve him so well, and Ryder suddenly hit him hard in the forehead with his own head.

Evfra’s vision flickered and, disoriented, he brought his hand up to his head to cover the damaged area.

Using the advantage he now had over his opponent, Ryder made a few maneuvers with something that he took out of a tactical compartment on his leg piece. Before Evfra realized that he did something to his wounded arm, Ryder had already rolled away, out of his reach.

“I’m done! I’m done!” yelled the human Pathfinder, raising his hands up in the air as if surrendering. He knew perfectly well that in a real fight with the Resistance leader he had almost no chances, so tried to pull out of it as soon as possible.

Evfra stood up abruptly, still touching his aching head. He was somewhat dizzy, but the wish to make the intolerable creature pay gave him strength and determination to act at once.

Seeing that his words had little influence on Evfra’s perception of reality, Ryder pleaded once again.

“It was medi-gel! Just medi-gel, I swear!”

Confused, Evfra looked at his injured arm. The cut was indeed covered with medi-gel that was slowly absorbing into his skin.

“Just wanted to treat it, that’s all,” muttered Ryder, finally rising from the floor. “A simple thank you would be enough.”

Lost for words, Evfra groaned and rubbed his temples.

“I better leave. Hope the next time we meet you’ll be in a better humor.”

The Pathfinder turned around and headed for the door. Only moments before his exiting Evfra addressed him one last time.

“Ryder!”

“What is it?” The Pathfinder stopped, intrigued.

“You have your whole species at your disposal… you have asari, turians, salarians, crogans… You have this whole galaxy with all the angara inhabiting it. Tell me, why, why do you have to infuriate only me all the time?”

“There’s one reason you’ll find out about later, just hold on for now,” answered the Pathfinder and grinned. “Oh,”—after making only one step, he stopped once more—“I also hate it when everybody always calls me Ryder. I have a name, you know. It is not very polite, especially since I do use your name in conversations.”

Evfra raised his head and took a deep long breath, feeling fed up with everything that happened during the last ten minutes.

“Ryder…” he started in a voice full of weariness.

“It’s James. For you it’s James.”

#Mass Effect #Mass Effect Andromeda #Andromeda #Fiction #Fanfiction #Evfra #m!Ryder #Ryder/Evfra #Ryder x Evfra #HGTAG

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 3 years

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Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.76

Nursing his right arm, Lance was still slightly shocked he’d been shot by Krolia. He couldn’t say he didn’t have it coming, following her voice calling his name like he had, but Krolia... Jesus. What’d he got himself into. Keith was furious. Krolia seemed to take it all in good humour. Lance was trying his hardest to keep the peace between mother and son... but she just might be the weirdest person who’d come into his life lately.

Being strong for Keith, he’d pulled his shirt back on, letting Keith do the buttons for him because he knew how much his boyfriend was worrying. Maybe if he’d stopped to think, he would have realised it was all a prank... yet, when that gun had come out, all he’d thought about was Keith not getting shot on his watch. Following the sound of Coran’s voice, the whole group was waiting with him as he tried to calm down a raging Pidge who demanded to see him. Krolia was standing towards the back of the group looking rather amused. Wrapping his good arm around his gremlin, Pidge went straight for his nuts, before realising it was him and throwing herself into his hold

“You fucking scared me!”

Scared him? He was a hair away from being hit in the balls!

“I’m fine. A little bruise and good as new”

“You’re being a lying little shit, aren’t you?”

Lance kissed Pidge on the top of the head. She was just the right height for him to abuse his older brother rights

“Totally. Nah. I’m okay. Are you guys okay?”

“We were until Shiro started shaking and said you’d been shot! What the fuck man!”

Pidge pulled out of his grip, Lance yelping as she punched his bad arm. Staggering into Keith as he clutched his arm tighter, glasses falling off his face thanks to his lack of coordination, his foot landing on them where they were crunched as Keith cried

“Lance!”

Keith wrapped his arms around him as he caught him, hand firm against his now extra sore arm, Lance groaned

“Not that arm...”

Keith swearing

“Shit!”

They were ridiculous. They’d make an amazing comedy act. The vampire who kept getting himself hurt and his boyfriend who kept finding the spots by accident.

Coran patted his shoulder... his sore shoulder. Lance wondering if this was how he died?

“I think maybe we should all sit down for a pot of tea. Krolia, will you be joining us?”

God. Yes. Yes, Coran! You beautiful fae bastard! Anything so he wouldn’t get hit or nearly hit or hugged to hard again! Krolia’s reply held traces of a giggle at their antics. It wasn’t Lance’s fault he was clumsy. That’s what happened when you wore a prescription that wasn’t right for them suddenly got attacked by a wild gremlin

“I wouldn’t miss it for anything”

Coran fetched a tray of tea as the rest of them sat around a conference table that was thankfully not the one they’d be at when Kolivan visited. Krolia sat across from Keith, smile on her lips as Lance tried not to look at her. She was beautiful. Black hair streaked with purple. Features so much like Keith’s. Keith was a good foot taller than his mother, but Lance knew Krolia could easily whoop his boyfriend’s arse. Hunk looked nervous again. Pidge was sitting between him and Lance. And the silence was awkward as hell. He may as well have died in the alley for how awkward things were. What was a little shooting between friends? Mentally he’d placed a bet on Shiro talking first... He’d have won $10 if he’d taken his own bet... but he wasn’t exactly sure how to pay himself.

“Krolia. We had the suspicion you’d arrive soon. How are you finding Platt?”

Lance wasn’t moody... not jealous that Shiro was being the cool mature one

“Fine. It’s nice to see you, Curtis and Keith again. Let’s be honest here, I’m more pleased to find Keith safe and well, and even more interested on how he came to be dating a vampire”

Lance flushed, sliding down in his chair, aggravating his shoulder as he did

“Are you saying there’s something wrong with my brother?!”

Bless Pidge! Krolia had no idea how mad Pidge could get

“Not at all. He seems to be quite apt. Passed the boyfriend test with flying colours”

“Good, because he’s been through enough shit. It doesn’t matter if this is his first relationship. He’s about as good at it as Keith”

Aaaaaaand he was sliding further down in his chair.

Across the table Krolia laughed

“If he was as good as Keith, an inability to converse and they’d never have gotten past awkward friendship”

Now Lance was annoyed. Sitting up to fast, his poor arm was wracked with shooting pains

“Keith talks to me about all kinds of things. He’s a good man. He’s funny, and he’s weird, and his haircut is fresh out of the ‘80’s and I like that about him”

Krolia raised an eyebrow. She was wearing an expression he’d seen so many times on his boyfriend’s face

“Keith is like, he’s a good guy. He makes Lance happy, and we’re friends, right, man”

Hunk’s awkwardness made Lance’s heart swell. Not only was the big guy ignoring his nerves, but he saw Keith as Keith, despite having so much to wrap his head around.

Shiro laughed

“I’m afraid Keith’s gone and made some pretty good friends here, Krolia. He’s really come out of his shell since meeting Lance. It’s been good for him. And I’m pretty sure you’re going to be in trouble if you tease him”

Krolia shrugged

“I’m happy for him. I really am. As long as he’s continuing to be careful, we can cover the fact he’s fallen for a vampire”

Keith slammed his hands on the table. Lance wincing. His boyfriend was still an anger loaf at heart

“I don’t want to cover the fact I’m dating Lance. He’s... he’s my boyfriend and probably my best friend. You don’t get to act like a mother when it suits you. Seriously, why did you even come?”

“To see you. I know you may find it hard to believe it, but I do care for you”

“Right. Like you cared when you dropped off the face of the fucking planet and abandoned me after dad died!”

Sadness washed over Krolia’s face

“I didn’t know he’d died and by the time I did, it was safer for you to stay in the system”

Oh, Lord. Krolia was another Keith. Keith was so angry he was blurting out things he’d never usually say in front of Pidge and Hunk

“Yeah. Bounce your kid from house to house. You’re too late, Mum. I feel more for Miriam than I do for you”

That wasn’t true. That wasn’t true and Lance knew it. Part of Keith desperately wanted to reconnect with his mother. This was only serving to drive a wedge further between them

“Look, Keith. You know the life. I couldn’t raise you at the Blades. It wouldn’t have been safe for you there”

“So you wait until I’m nearly dead? Wait, no, it was Shiro who saved me. He’s my brother, and my family. Not you”

Lance groaned. Getting Keith and Krolia on the same page was going to be one hell of a fight

“I sent money to every single family you were at. I followed you until you decided you had to run away. I never stopped caring about you. Leaving you and your father broke my heart, but I couldn’t bring a war down on both of you”

See! Lance was right. Krolia did love Keith in her own way. She just really sucked at telling him and Keith wasn’t... Keith didn’t know how to hear her or see past the pain

“That wasn’t your call to make”

Awkward silence descended again. Lance kind of wished Pidge and Hunk weren’t there... nor Shiro and Curtis. If he could just get them talking then... it’d be a start. Keith said a lot in what he didn’t say, and right now he was screaming for someone to reach out and reassure him... but despite everything he was feeling, Lance knew that Krolia was the one he needed. Moving his sore arm, he rested his hand on Keith’s thigh to silently remind him he was there for him.

They all breathed a sigh of relief when Coran came in with a tray of tea. Setting each up in front of them, Keith glared at the liquid as if it’d offended him, Coran either oblivious or ignoring the atmosphere

“Lactose free for number two... Now let’s all sit enjoy a nice cup of tea as we talk. Krolia, perhaps you can tell us more about your companions? Don’t worry, Pidge and Hunk here both signed a non-disclosure, they’re practically family”

Pidge and Hunk now had an uncle to add to their weird little family. Coran knew all about them, and had always enjoyed hearing about them

“Perhaps we should save that for a more formal briefing. I am interested in my son’s progress here”

Coran’s voice filled with pride

“He’s excellent. Very diligent and task orientated. His skills may be wasted in a small city like Platt, but we are certainly happy to have him, and Shiro, naturally”

“I’m glad to hear that. Originally we sent him here to be safe, with a nice easy target. I wasn’t able to meet with him before he left. We didn’t expect the escalation of things quite so quickly, but being here means I’ll be able to spend more time with him, and Lance”

Keith snorted, Krolia picking up her cup of tea, looking over the rim

“Something funny?”

“This act you’re putting on for everyone. I’ve finally found a place I’m happy, and you walk in like you’re just going to be part of my life”

“Keith, you know...”

“No, mum. I don’t know. You’ve made it clear I’m a disappointment of a hunter... Sitting over there, laughing at the fact I couldn’t kill one vampire...”

Keith went to move Lance’s hand off his thigh, forgetting to be careful as he did. Hissing, Lance moved to move his right arm with his left, Keith’s whole face falling as he’d realised he’d hurt him

“I can’t do this”

Keith went to push back his chair, Lance on his feet before he could, clutching his arm against as him as he spoke

“Wait! Okay. Time out. Keith, I don’t know Krolia, but I can tell she does care. She just doesn’t know how to talk to you properly. Krolia, you keep antagonising him. Things like wanting to know how Keith is, is different from prying into his skills, or his work here. Keith, she’s your mum. I’ve barely met her and I can see so much of you in her. I know it’s hard to talk about what you need to with all of us here, but neither of you hate each other. There’s no need to set each other off because you can’t quite figure out how to start a conversation. Keith is mad at you, Krolia. You shouldn’t have pulled a prank like you did today, expecting he’d understand why or be okay with it. Babe, your mum’s a Blade member and as far as I can tell, they’re all a bit weird. I’m not exactly happy over what happened, but it did, and we don’t have a magical time machine to undo it. Before you ask, Pidge, time travel isn’t a real thing, I’m sorry to break your heart like that. Krolia, I’m serious about Keith. I care a lot about him, and deciding to date wasn’t easy for either of us. I’m the enemy. You guys are supposed to kill people like me and move on without a second thought. Now, my arm really fucking hurts and my ego is probably showing because I’m a bit too protective of Keith, but enough’s enough....”

Lance flushed as he realised he’d kind of let lose on both Krolia and Keith and probably embarrassed his boyfriend as well as hurt his feelings by acting like Keith couldn’t talk for himsel. Feeling like he had to explain even more and knowing he really needed to shut up, he finished rather lamely

“Ummm. Well, yeah. Basically, stop being mad at each other because you’re both angry little loafs that don’t know how to socialise”

Keith stared at him long enough to know he’d walked all over his boyfriend’s feelings. It took all of ten seconds for Keith to be pushing his chair back

“I’m sorry, Coran. I don’t think I’ll be very good company”

At least Keith paused long enough to apologise, before leaving the room... Not inviting Lance to go with him. Yeah. That wasn’t missed. Keith was getting so good at coming to him to talk, that Lance expected it

“I’ll talk to him. But Lance is right. Keith doesn’t know how to talk to you about anything that’s not work. You and I need to have a conversation, Krolia”

Oh damn. He didn’t want to be Krolia. A mad Shiro was a scary thing in its own way. As Shiro left to find Keith, Pidge leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms as she did

“Damn. And I thought my family was dysfunctional. Is it like this all the time?”

Lance sighed, wriggling his chair closer to his gremlin for comfort

“Keith? Keith’s family? Or being here?”

Pidge huffed

“I’m not prying into Keith’s past until he wants to tell us. Look what happened last time someone’s dark secret came out? I found out one brother’s a werewolf and the others a vampire. Nope. No more prying there. I mean here in general. How do you guys get any work done?”

“Normally they do the work and I just stay in my room”

“So you’re a slacker?”

“I prefer to think of it as much loved relative visiting. But yeah. Kind of a slacker. All I can really do is support Keith and Shiro, around working from home”

Coran was staring at the conference room door, as if he thought Shiro and Keith would be back by now

“Lance does help us quite a lot. He’s always been a very charming and helpful person. Very smart too”

Pidge snorted

“Coran, are you sure you’ve got my brother? He can’t even work his phone properly”

“That’s because it has so much unnecessary stuff on it. Huuuunk, help me out. Please tell Pidge it’s okay to be technology illiterate”

“From what I hear, vampires don’t forget things. Sorry, bro. You’ve got no excuse”

Lance pouted, betrayed by his cinnamon roll and ridiculed by his anger muffin

“And here I was loving the pair of you. Coran, I take back all the nice things I said about them. Curtis, you and me. Us against the world?”

Curtis wore an expression so Shiro like that Shiro would have been proud

“Sorry, Lance. You are good friend and you’ve helped me immensely, despite my constant queries over your body and your heat. I’m happy to have met you, but yours isn’t the dick I want. You have Keith for that, though I do wish you’d accepted his physical help through your heats sooner. It would have made the changes you are going through quite a lot less painful. Though you two are quite loud mid coitus. I think I much prefer you two watching television than to think of you engaging anything sexual. No offence”

Lance choked on air. Curtis was the one who kept gifting him condoms and sex toys. He had a whole case of them waiting at home, never to be used without Keith. Pidge cackled

“Damn, dude. You got rejected without even aiming for it. For what it’s worth, Keith helped me understand that super senses aren’t that great when you can hear Matt having sex”

Lance groaned all the way to the depths of his soul

“Can we pleeeeeease stop talking about sex in front of Keith’s mother? Coran, help?”

“I guess we could discuss how hesitant you were to accept Keith as your boyfriend initially and that nasty...”

Lance was sure Coran was going to blab about the mercury incident

“Nope! No! You all suck! Everyone but Hunk is off my Christmas card list”

“Thanks, bro”

Lance couldn’t reach to fist bump Hunk, but he would have if he could have. The vampire was taking it slowly, Hunk not like Pidge and her weirdly easy acceptance. That’s why they’d played with Kosmo without talking all that much, trying to show Hunk he wasn’t any different than a human

“I’ve got you, fam. I’ll be sending one to Shay too. Oh, have you guys been to my house lately? I’m worried about the roses”

“If you’re that worried, you should just come back home already”

Lance couldn’t hide his surprise

“You want me back there?”

Okay. So they’d taken it well, but he was kind of like an inmate here. At the end of the night, they knew the big bad vampire was all tucked up safe and sound below ground. Plus, Pidge had gotten the scare of her life the last time they’d been at the house. His poor gremlin had had so much to process. She was still processing, despite how brave she was being. Plus, there was this whole “her parents knew” thing that needed to be worked out. What he needed was a double who could be there with Pidge and Hunk, helping them work things out, while he was also with Keith... who was currently mad at him. Super mad if Lance had to hazard a guess. He hoped Shiro would get through to his boyfriend...

“No. I just thought I’d mention it. Actually, I did think of burning it down, but you weren’t home”

Lance sighed. She would have done it... and Keith would have lost his boyfriend the same way he’d lost his father

“Pidge, I know you’re serious, but please don’t ever say that in front of Keith. His father died in a house fire and he’s still really hurt by it. Don’t like bring it up”

“Oh, fuck! Krolia, I am so sorry!”

Krolia sipped her tea, looking uncomfortable as she did. Two very long moments before Pidge “whispered” for support

“Laaaance...”

Pidge didn’t know how to “Krolia”. Lance didn’t either. He didn’t get a bad vibe from her... but... she’d held the gun knowing they didn’t know it was loaded with rubber bullets

“You didn’t know. Keith and I have talked more than you guys have talked, so i guess I have inside knowledge”

Pidge nodded, her voice definitely quieter than her normal perky tone

“I’m glad he didn’t hear me. He still likes us right? I mean, he was talking to us, so we’re still friends?”

“He missed you guys. Honestly, he’s the one who thought one day you might talk to me again... I just thought... we’d never be friends again. I get it. If this is all like too weird. You can walk away... I’m like... really fucking weird”

Friends like family... but his siblings hadn’t handled him well at all

“You’re also proof vampires exist... and I’m still getting used to it. Maybe no sleep overs just yet?”

Because they didn’t trust be alone near him. Ugh. That hurt worse than his shoulder. He was getting teary now. This own feelings of abandonment deciding to be stupid

“That’s fine. I do get it. As long as you guys are safe, that’s all I care about. I feel super rude, but I might head down to my room and nap off the pain. Will you guys be alright getting home?”

“Yeah. You’re totally rude, but you’re going to message us later so it’s fine. We did... we did miss you. I just... it’s still a lot”

“Pidgeon, I promise I get it. Hunk, sunshine of my life, I’ll be talking to you later. Uh... nice to meet you Krolia, and I’ll see you later Coran. Curtis... don’t think I won’t forget to forget you dumping me”

Lance felt less than adult like as he left the conference room. He was pulling a Keith, feeling too emotionally compromised so removing himself from the situation. He could tell himself he wasn’t like this, but that’d be lying. He was always like this, always destined to feel on the outside.

#once bitten twice stupid #oncebittentwicestupid #ashratherose

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scattered--pages · 4 years

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So I rewatched Frozer today, and holy hell, I’m not even sure how insanely Lukanette-strong this episode this, to the point that I don’t even know how aware of this even Astruc is? And I don’t only mean the romantic ice rink scene, I mean the episode as a whole serves as a huge sign that very strongly favors Lukanette and also Adrigami, and yes, I say this even considering the ending with Marinette running after Adrien and leaving Luka alone there at the ice rink entrance and even with her eyeing Kagami and Adrien a huge amount of time at the rink. Because it’s hers and Adrien’s words that actually count and explain some things a bit better, including some comments from Luka and Kagami.

This is gonna be a long and analytical ride, so get ready, my folks! ♡ * cracks knuckles *

1. After being rejected by Ladybug yet again, Adrien decides to gave a chance to another girl he spends a lot of time with and kind of likes and decides that it’s time to finally stop suppressing those feelings. Because when Plagg suggests it’s better to move on to someone else, he doesn’t say anything along the lines of “But I don’t have feelings for Kagami” or “But I will always love only Ladybug”, etc., no, Adrien actually says “Why should it be different with Kagami? Maybe I just have the wrong technique?” - meaning, he actually is envisioning a relationship her and he does see her as someone he could or does care about in a romantic way, he’s just afraid that, since Ladybug’s rejections kind of bruised his self-confidence a bit, why would Kagami do anything other than eventually reject him as well? So he doesn’t, as in a few other occasions, explicitly state that he has no romantic feelings for this person (khm, khm, as he does when teased or asked about his feelings for, among other people, a certain someone else), he lets Plagg know that he has actually already considered this possibility and that he is not against it at all, but rather just fears the same ending as with Ladybug.

2. I think that it’s extremely important to take the first note in mind when viewing the scene where he confides to Marinette that he needs help with a girl. Because, it does sound rather applicable to both Marinette and Kagami when Adrien describes, very clearly in a loving fashion in which you wouldn’t describe your best buddy-bud pal, the girl he likes with dark silky hair, deep eyes, with whom he’s been just friends but “...lately things have been different.” And as similar as this all is to Marinette, his close friend for a LONGER time, and much longer at that, than Kagami, with similar features, etc., he does not decide to switch his focus/target on Mari. He doesn’t seem to even consider her as a person he could romantically care for (not counting Chat Blanc when he ‘suddenly’ became aware of random heaps of feelings for her that he’s supposedly had all along when in fact, he’s never shown or said anything about it and he only ‘realizes’ this when he realizes she’s the other half of his beloved Ladybug). He, very clearly, chooses Kagami as his new focus. Out of all of his female friends and people he’s known longer than Kagami, people with whom he’s shared some sweet moments with even, like with Marinette, he still chooses Kagami and this still isn’t enough for him this entire time to consider Marinette as the goal of his new target transition. As much as it would make arguably more sense to a lot of people, and as much as he clearly likes the type of girls like her, appearance-wise, he still doesn’t choose her.

3. There is something very important Marinette says during her talk with her friends. “I always jumble my words around him, so how could I even manage going out on a date? I think we’re actually meant to be friends, whenever I talk to him as a friend, I actually hardly stammer at all, that’s a sign right there, right?” And YES, this is actually a very mature thing for a character in a cartoon, rather than in a more ‘serious’ TV show to say because it’s actually a very mature way of explaining which types of emotions are actually healthier and better for a basis of a proper romantic relationship. And not being able to talk to this person hardly at all for more than a year and getting reactions akin to panic attacks when this person even touches or looks or says something in your direction is something that’s cute for a few days... Weeks, maybe. But the entire time? Oof. And I know that she, I’m guessing, gets rid of her awkwardness when starting to date him in Chat Blanc, at least I hope that’s what’s implied, but a foundation like this to a relationship is not necessarily a really good one... Not when her behavior towards him shows clear signs of obsession rather than love in an alarming amounts of moments, and when her reactions to him are mainly her being stressed out, insecure and panicked increasingly around him through time instead of decreasingly, for well over a year. Now, this is all perhaps too realistic for the judgement of a TV animated series, but Astruc & co. can be serious with certain topics when they want to and portraying this as such only to use it as a comic-reel type of a cutesy, dorky, pre-dating crushing or whatever just makes no sense and ends up looking at the very least weird and at the worst unhealthy for our girl.

Because she can only really be herself with Adrien, and not even that entirely, when they’re just being friends. When anything more is suggested, that’s all at least partially lost, which, once again, oof... With Luka, however, even though she gets those normal shy moments when he looks at her a certain way, makes her blush or compliments her, she feels comfortable enough to remain herself pretty much the entire. time. she’s. with. him. Which is trough several points in the show even more so encouraged by Luka. Luka who fell for Marinette, the klutzy, shy, adorkable and supposedly ‘less perfect’ half of Ladybug. He didn’t need to know she’s Ladybug to love her. He fell in love, actual romantic love with her strongly and quickly just because of *claps* who *claps* she *claps* is. Shyness and clumsiness and all. And he just generally seems to really care about her happiness and well being and is capable of better assessing her emotions than even her best friend.

Even at the ice rink, when she gets twisted up and nervous in front of Adrien and even subconsciously mean towards the fact that he’s here with Kagami (The entire flat out “you have to let her fall thing”, what was up with that?? I mean, she corrected herself but, whut?? That wasn’t like Marinette at all!), to which Adrien is a bit confused and perhaps slightly worried but Luka takes care of her and takes the control of the situation so easily, just to make her feel better. “Try to be natural. Go with the flow and listen to the rhythm.”, and then he softly adds, “Just follow my lead.” , and Marinette, even though slightly smitten, seems to at least feel better and instantly a bit more composed, which than turns to her being completely relaxed with him on the ice. And yet he’s just the second choice/rebound guy and she’s supposed to end up with the other, arguably more confusing and problematic choice (at least viewed from a realistic human perspective?) BIG oof. Not a good sign and not a good message for kids out there, tbh if this is how they portray love and soulmates and how they portray what seems to be nice and lovely, but actually won’t be the ‘truest’ love in the end (meaning, for the latter, they obviously are, ironically, using Luka and Kagami - the HEALTHIER choices)...

4. Same goes for Adrien and his feelings for Ladybug and the comparison of his romantic dynamic with Ladybug and then with Kagami. Because his feelings for Ladybug only ever seem to get him down, he can’t even be happy for her that she has someone else she cares about, usually a big sign of just being ‘in love’ with a person or idolizing the person rather than ‘loving’ the person. Which, okay, this is a cartoon, and perhaps it shouldn’t matter, but unless the whole freakin’ thing is taken to the extreme and portrayed as one giant comedy crack cartoon and as long as some themes are adequately realistically addressed than this ends up as something that’s realistically understood as well and, once again, serves as a really bad example of what’s supposed to be the beginning of the ‘soulmate’ type of ‘true love’. While with Kagami, he just seems more... complete. More himself. When he comes in front of her slightly nervous, unsure of how to ask her for her hand, she’s ends up being the counter-balance to him (much like Luka with Mari) by calmly joking with him to make him feel more comfortable, tying his laces and taking him to the ice, so no further worries or stress necessary.

She’s like the yin to his yang, really, and her composure balances his more emotional, quirky, happy-go-lucky personality really wonderfully, even in moments when he needs an antithesis like this to help him because he’s feeling in doubt or down. And even now, he accepts her hand, smiles, and the situation just goes so well and nice for him because she, like several other times as well, was able to really perfectly compliment his personality with hers in a way that achieves both of them being happy, themselves and relaxed with each other. And Adrien sometimes does this for her, too, and I just think, much like Lukanette, that this is a really sweet and nice example of a proper young romantic relationship and it breaks my heart that, yet again, the better, more natural choice that makes the characters more happier is the secondary one that’s going to most likely end up with someone like Kagami and Luka be cast back into the friendzone and aside for Adrinette to... somehow? happen again.

5. Much like Adrien’s reaction to Kagami as someone new that he has feelings for, it was the same when Tikki questioned Marinette why she was upset. She didn’t say “Well, because Adrien only sees Kagami”, “Because it hurts me a bit to see them together”, etc., oddly enough, she doesn’t even address her feelings towards Adrien here, she immediately and only says, “I like Luka. He’s really nice, but... do you think he’s just like Adrien, just a friend?” By which she actually a) admits that she likes him, most likely as more than a friend due to the next part where she’s worriedly asking Tikki if, b) Luka is just like Adrien towards her, ‘just a friend’. Which is a huge thing and, once again, this could just be Astruc & co.’s way of messing with fans to stir up drama, but by now, this show, and these ships, have had way too many weird and not that healthy or the best examples of ‘romantic’ feelings and crushes for it to just constantly, 24/7 be a random array of stirring up the fans. I mean, knowing Astruc, it’s possible, but once again, if they’re repeatedly doing this with the love hexagon and the majority of these things, including the love square interactions shouldn’t be taken entirely seriously, that’s a bit of a silly thing to do in a show that, like I said, can be more decent and serious when it wants to, and it’s a really immature thing of a bunch of adult writers to do rather than dealing with actual character relationships and personality developments. I mean, I may sound harsh but, come on.

6. “There may be a certain chill now between us.” Once again, I just really don’t like the whole passive aggressive, jealous, pouty behavior that Chat displays in front of Ladybug to, supposedly, try to cause some reaction out of her in his favor and all while separating from her due to this when literal PARIS is at stake here atm. “We don’t always have to do everything together, you know! It’s not like we’re a couple!” That, especially in a situation like this is actually a very manipulative to do, because it seems that the other person deserves guilt-tripping and to feel bad simply for the fact that they are entitled to their own choices, that they simply don’t reciprocate your romantic feelings for them and that they want to be friends but just feel uncomfortable with you advancing with them so frequently even when knowing what the situation is. and while it’s okay and cute-ish for young crushes when it happens once or twice, this was far from being the only time he’s been like that with her and, for the who knows what time in this post: that ain’t love. That ain’t a good example. And that ain’t romantic or cute in the slightest. As someone who dated a guy who acted like that on a daily level, this is not something that should be romanticized or encouraged, but that’s just my opinion.

7. “You should go over and talk to him...” I know this goes without saying because a lot of people already really praise Luka for how selflessly and maturely he dealt with this, but I just have to add this because he is just. so. good to Marinette! And puts her emotions and needs in front of himself every time, even when it means she needs to potentially deal with some things in a way that might hurt him, he cares more about her and her getting her own happiness or at least closure rather than forcing his affections on her or insisting even on the smallest of things, like riding the subway together home. Nope, he cares, in a surprisingly mature and kind way, more about her in this moment, and in so many others, but I won’t elaborate in to too much details like I didn’t in some examples above either because this post is focused mainly around this episode.

And that, my dears, is the tea. Or at least my potentially overly-invested-in-this-show opinion.

DISCLAIMER: I mean no hate towards any character, I really love everyone from the love hexagon, I just really think some pairings within it are better for each other than others.

#ml salt #mlb salt #lukanette #kagami #frozer #episode analysis #ship analysis #luka couffine #marinette dupain cheng #kagami tsuguri

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troped-fanfic-challenge · 4 years

Text

AUTHOR REVEAL of the Chopped: Choose Your Own Adventure Fics!

We hope you all had fun Guessing the Authors, now here they are! Did you guess any correctly?

———

all dead hearts to you (Rated T) [Clarke/Raven] by @kindclaws

Theme: Canon Divergent || Tropes: 1. Ark AU, 2. Character swap, 3. One character kisses the other, and the person who gets kissed is shocked still, and 4. One character is asleep (can be cute sleep, can be drooling mouth breathing sleep, you pick) and the other is just watching them totally in love

When the countdown ticks over into the last minute, Raven forces herself to begin imagining a world without Bellamy. It’s not easy to shove aside her initial impulses to bargain with the universe, with her own rationality. Maybe her predictions are too pessimistic. Maybe they have an extra handful of minutes before the death wave reaches them and steals away their escape route. Maybe he is right outside, and he will come around the corner any second now - but she hasn’t kept her friends alive until now by being an optimist. They don’t have the luxury of hope.

The rocket takes off without Bellamy. Raven and Clarke pick up the pieces.

Don't Wanna Fly If You're Still On The Ground (Rated G) [Clarke & Wells] by @loveislarryislove

Theme: Canonverse || Tropes: 1. 4+1, 2. Character not looking for love, 3. Mistaken for a couple, and 4. Protectiveness

Clarke has always been the one person who really got Wells. She understands the pressures of his position in a way no one else ever has. She knows what it is to be a leader, to bear responsibility. She's one of a kind. Wells can't imagine a life without her.

She feels the same way, but differently. Sometimes that's hard, but Wells wouldn't trade it for the world.

Four times Wells almost said "I love you" to Clarke... and the one time she said it first.

The Roach (Rated G) [Emori/Murphy] by @the-most-beautiful-broom

Theme: Modern || Tropes: 1. Coffee Shop AU, 2. Mythical Creature, 3. A Dichotomy, 4. One character gives the other a gift

Since her brother's disappearance, Emori has dedicated her life to tracking down children taken by the Fae. But one day, she realizes that she might be leading the Fae directly to the barista who--though he brews a mean cup of coffee--is less than capable of defense against kindly neighbors.

dreams are just what you make them (Rated T) [Jasper/Maya] by @justbecauseyoubelievesomething

Theme: Horror || Tropes: 1. Ark AU, 2. Childhood friends to lovers, 3. One character is asleep and the other is just watching them totally in love, 4. Based on a song - Who’s With Us by Current Swell

He’s been friends with Maya for almost as long as he was friends with Monty. They grew up playing the kinds of make believe games that Ark kids needed to survive a reality of darkness and cold, grey walls. And when they got older, and Jasper’s reality started to blur and buckle, Maya was still there. Always patient. Always kind. His other friends meant well, but even Monty had other distractions in his life. Maya would drop everything and help him through an episode. It was just who she was.

Thanks for playing (Rated M) [Lexa & Luna] by @dylanobrienisbatman

Theme: Post Apocalyptic || Tropes: 1. Fairy Tale AU, 2. Road Trip, 3. Characters reuniting with someone they thought was dead, and 4. Characters hugging each other after one or both of them have been through hell

Six years ago, the world ended. A violent, deadly viral plague decimated the world, with no way to stop it. Society had crumbled, and the new world order was one of chaos and fear.

Lexa and Luna are sent out on a mission, but everything is not as it seems. Will they succeed, or will the chaos claim them?

it is new moon and twilight (Rated T) [Bellamy/Raven] by @kinetic-elaboration

Theme: Angst || Tropes: 1. Exes, 2. reunion, 3. character a catches character b crying, and 4. surprise kiss

Long separation means little, once he’s walked through the door. Two years gone, slightly more, since they saw each other in person; still they fall easily into old, soft habits again. He knows himself well with her. Only Murphy’s absence remains a jagged pit between them, a pain that spikes sometimes as a physical hurt, other times as a foggy confusion, the sense of something not quite seen out of the corner of his eye.

Bellamy, Murphy, and Raven were best friends once. Then boundaries started to blur.

Now, three months after Murphy’s death, Bellamy comes to visit Raven, his widow, at her home in the mountains on the precipice of spring.

Sail Away With Someone’s Daughter (Rated T) [Clarke/Murphy] by @kinetic-elaboration

Theme: Young Adult || Tropes: 1. Based on a song, 2. Band AU, 3. Friends with Benefits, and 4. Hiding in an enclosed space

If Abby Griffin knew that this arrangement was her daughter’s idea, she’d have a heart attack.

Which is fine, as far as Murphy is concerned.

Oh Sister My Sister (Rated T) [Bellamy & Octavia] by @teeandsnowflakes

Theme: Comedy || Tropes: 1. One is Law Enforcement, the Other is a Criminal/Suspect, 2. A terribly loud crash and one character yelling 'I'm OK", 3. Characters are not together but are mistaken for a couple, and 4. Trapped in or hiding in an enclosed space!

After years of estrangement, Octavia waltzes back into Bellamy’s life and helps him take down one of the biggest drug rings in New York, all while making all his friends think they’re in a relationship. Lovely.

our words are not yet written (Rated T) [Bellamy/Clarke] by @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold

Theme: Dystopia || Tropes: 1. Bed Sharing, 2. Hurt/Comfort, 3. Interrupted Kiss, and 4. Road Trip AU

After the rise of religious zealot, Chancellor Russell Lightbourne, life changes for the worst. The hinges of society begin to collapse and as riots fill the streets, it’s impossible to stay neutral. Bellamy Blake is more than willing to throw himself into the thick of it, but when his sister disappears he has no choice but to go after her. With a target on his back though, he also knows that he needs help.

In this new society, if you need to get around undetected, there’s one person you contact: The Princess. Bellamy does just that, putting himself on a road trip across a divided country with an unexpected ally. Clarke Griffin might have a past that would have put them at odds with each other, but now they’re the only hope that they each have to get through this together.

and then the earth spun (Rated M) [Octavia/Lincoln] by @thelittlefanpire

Theme: Holiday || Tropes: 1. Post-Apocalyptic AU, 2. Magic AU, 3. Zombie AU, and 4. Trapped in or hiding in an enclosed space

Octavia Blake thought the end of her world started when the earth went dark, but it really didn’t begin again until the zombies walked in.

It would almost be poetic, if it wasn’t so damn sad. (Rated T) [Raven/Wells] by @dylanobrienisbatman

Theme: Dystopia || Tropes: 1. Hunger Games AU, 2. Enemies to Friends to Lovers, 3. Butterflies, and 4. First Kiss

When Raven was chosen as tribute for District Three, she hadn’t expected to find love.

When Raven was chosen as tribute for District Three, she had also planned to win.

integrity, faith, and crocodile tears (trust me, darling) (Rated T) [Clarke/Murphy] by @probably-voldemort

Theme: Post Apocalyptic || Tropes: 1. Zombie AU, 2. Parallel Universe, 3. Character Reuniting With Someone They Thought Was Dead, and 4. Watching Someone Sleep While Being Super In Love With Them

Clarke was never supposed to end up in a different world with a different apocalypse.

Zombies were never supposed to be a thing outside the old movies they’d had on the Ark.

And Murphy was never supposed to be looking at her like that.

———

All the Winners can be found here.

Thank you all so much for participating this round! Now that winners and authors have been revealed feel free to blog about your fics and don’t forget to tag us!

We hope you all will join us again when we decide to host another Chopped Challenge!

#chopped: choose your own adventure #chopped choice 1.0 #author reveal #masterlist

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space-------kid · 4 years

Text

can’t keep my hands (off you).

Anime/Manga: One Punch Man Pairing: Garou/fem!Reader Additional pairing/characters: platonic Metal Bat/fem!Reader, Zenko, mentions of other heroes such as Saitama, Watchdog Man, etc. Genre: Romance, comedy Warning: Absolute silliness. Language – Garou and reader both ate rainbows for breakfast. Dumbassery. Teeth-rotting fluff, maybe? Reader is hella strong like Saitama. Half-assed spice because you’re good at cockblocking Garou despite being low-key thirsty for him. And LOTS of dumbassery from the reader, most probably. Additional tag: Dream-based fic, canon-divergent, Garou is horny af A/N: This is supposed to be a lengthy one-shot, but I’m a dumbass who can’t keep my word so the supposedly one-shot isn’t a one shot anymore. Now I have to worry how I should properly divide all those parts (I mean, they’re already divided, but–) 😅

A wild Garou finally appears!

Summary:

Your life had its general ups and downs, pros and cons, the good and the bad.

You were admittedly a coward and afraid of being targeted by people for it. Following the advice of your (best) friend you trained hard, like, FUCKING hard, and now you’re blessedly, utterly strong you can take down enemies with just one hit. A good thing, really. Can’t let any bad guy harass you or something.

But-

You were probably cursed with the biggest, baddest of luck. Not only were monsters chasing you, suddenly there was this fucking hot bastard weirdo who kept on calling himself the Hero Hunter. “I’m not a hero, goddamn it!”

i. and ii | [more to be added]

“i can’t keep my

hands

off…!”

- can’t keep my hands off you/simple plan

iii.

Alright, forget that you asked. You would always be Bad Luck, Dumbass Chicken [Name] to the universe, anyway.

You blinked back awake to the cheering of children, one of your fists thrown up for a punch and your entire front covered by green goo you easily identified as monster blood. Ew.

Looking down, your gaze zeroed in on the still twitching appendages of the huge insect monster your punch had nearly blown to smithereens. Its head looked totally crushed, and you had quickly figured out that its legs were still moving because of what was left of the electric impulses in its nerv-

You nearly emptied your stomach at the imaginary sensation of a hundred insect legs crawling up your skin.

Too creepy. I’m so fucking scared, for fuck’s sake.

“You saved us, big sis!”

“You’re so strong!”

“Are you a hero?”

“She must be, stupid! Didn’t you see how she beat that monster? Like, she just punched it and the monster’s head went ka-pow!”

Still grossed out by phantom insect legs crawling all over your body, you shakily turned to face the kids – five boys – and frantically shook your head.

“No, I’m not a hero-“ you tried to correct them but they seemed to have elected to ignore your denial and cheered again anyway.

Huh. Kids and their selective hearing.

“You must be new, huh, big sis?” one of the boys, a chubby black-haired one wearing glasses, asked you with stars in his eyes. Another one, sporting a bald head and a monobrow nodded in agreement.

“Maybe that’s why she ain’t in the Hero Guide Booklet yet!” exclaimed Monobrow.

Smile faltering, you waved your hands anxiously at the boys.

“I’m telling you, I’m really not-“

“Oi, leave the little lady alone, brats,” came a deep voice behind you. The boys took one look at whoever it was and scampered off to who knew where, and you could only hope that they would all be heading back to their own homes because it’s late in the afternoon already.

Relief washed through you as they finally disappeared from your sight. With a grateful smile you turned around to thank your savior, only to be met by a huge fist barreling straight at your face.

Your quick (and newly improved!) reaction time saved your face from being bashed in, your conscious mind battling your fight instinct because your attacker was a man. A very tall, muscular, and – oh, snap – handsome man, with sharp features, golden eyes, and spiky silver hair. The smirk he gave you was criminal, and you could feel your heartbeat quickening at being blessed given that seemingly satisfied look.

“Heh, nice reflexes,” said the weird guy, cracking his knuckles then getting into a fighting stance. You could tell from the way he dressed – fuck, that’s a really tight top – and how he carried himself that he was a martial arts expert.

Lucky for him, you weren’t.

“Yo, what the hell was that for?” you nervously asked him, backing away slowly. “You could’ve broken my nose with that punch!”

Weird Guy’s smirk widened. It gave you the heebie jeebies.

And it wasn’t helping that your fight instinct was screaming at you, telling you that you would get more than a broken nose if you refused to retaliate. If he was a monster, you would gladly let your fight instinct take over, but look how lucky you were! If your fight instinct took over, he would be the very first man you’d kill!

Deathly scared at the prospect of having red liquid splatter over the green goo sticking to your front, you closed your eyes and covered your ears.

“I’m too young to go to jail, holy shit! I don’t wanna kill anyone!” you yelled hysterically.

You could feel Weird Guy shooting you a confused look. You peeked an eye open and blanched when his expression turned into murderous glee.

“You’re not the one doing the killing here, little lady,” he said smugly, barking out a wolfish laugh when you winced. “Prepare to be hunted!”

And with that, he shot forward.

You had to bend backwards just to avoid a sweeping kick he delivered to your neck, your back and knees protesting at the sudden action. You dropped on the ground and rolled over just in time to evade his stomping foot. Eyes wide at the fissures his stomp generated, you quickly got up and tried your best to dodge the onslaught of punches he delivered at you.

Don’t fight, don’t fight, don’t fight, please! You repeatedly told yourself. He’s not a monster, oh god, you don’t want to kill a person, don’t you?

“Oh, my god, please stop!” you shrieked at him, downright horrified as your grip on your awareness slowly slipped from your grasp. “Can’t you see that I don’t want to fight?!”

Weird Guy stopped his assault to give you a perplexed look.

“Why?” he asked. “Isn’t that your duty as a hero? I’m a monster, you know, and you should stop me!”

“What?! I’m not a- I-I’m not a hero!” you denied, shaking your head for emphasis.

“Oh, no, no, you definitely are,” Weird Guy enthused, looking manic. “I saw how you saved those kids. A normal citizen would run away, but you didn’t. You faced that monster and took it out with one hit. Fucking reminds me of that fucking Justice Man.”

What the actual fuck? So, he thought you were a hero, too?

“No, no! I’m telling you, I’m not-“

Before you could finish your sentence, Weird Guy had already jumped at you and struck an open palm sideways to your chest, long fingers grazing your left breast.

You blanched out of fear at feeling the pain from the hit, then blushed when you only felt the warmth of his fingers seep through your clothes and when you realized that you had forgotten to wear a bra before going out. Your grip on your awareness slipped, one of your last thoughts circling on how this guy also seemed to be a pervert, grabbing (you knew he didn’t but it was the same in your book) at you like that.

Weird Guy grinned wildly when his attack hit, and yelled out rather proudly, “Remember this face, hero, and spread the word if you survive! Garou the Hero Hunter will-“

You tuned him out, static filling your ears-

F̢̨̛̰̻̦̠̭͖̺̾̓͛̓̅Ĭ̴̺̙͇̙̥̱̯̦̰̫͒͋̇̒͑͘G̴̩͔̩̜̥̙̖͛͛̈́͗̒̀́͜͝H͇̜͔̜̦̥͉͓̹̹̽̓̀̃̾̎̄T̸̨̢̞̻̤̥̫̻̪̍̓̐͛́͑̾͜

In your last effort to keep the guy safe from your fight instinct, you kept your hands slack, fists curled loosely as you lifted one to hit him in retaliation just as your mind went blank.

It was over the moment your fist – curled loosely, what for? – hit him straight on the jaw.

Garou fought hard to remain conscious even for a few seconds as he committed your face and the form of your body into memory, already listing off ways to counter an unexpected move like he always did when facing an enemy that would prove to be a challenge even for a genius like him.

Small stature hidden by baggy clothing, but he could still register the messy yet effective movements that enabled you to dodge his attacks. Quite flexible, too, seeing how you bent your body backwards to avoid a kick. You may be smaller than him, but boy did your punch – half-assed as it were – pack quite the heat.

And your face…

Garou had to be honest, you looked quite cute. [Color] eyes wide with distress, lips trembling as you lied about not being a hero and begging for him to stop his attacks. He wondered how long he would get to see such an adorable look on your face until you blacked out after that palm thrust landed squarely on your chest.

Too bad you didn��t get to see the satisfied smirk on his face when your eyes finally dulled, your expression coming up blank.

He was too caught up with his premature victory that he utterly failed to sense nor notice one of your fists going up to hit straight at his jaw.

Garou blinked, feeling his body float in slow motion and eventually crashing back down on earth, dark spots dancing on his vision.

What the fuck?

Were you just baiting him by acting like a goddamn coward?

Golden gaze found your prone form before he passed out, his last thoughts before fully blacking out revolving on a rematch should he find you again.

Who was he kidding? He would find you again, and that time he would not fall for your tricks again. You would be the one losing consciousness, he’d make sure of that.

Well, if you wouldn’t turn him in to the Hero Association. You were a hero, after all.

Weren’t you?

---

iv.

After he had been defeated by a surprisingly strong hero (you sneezed loudly wherever the hell you were), Garou was left wondering why he had woken in the park and not in a prison cell.

Why would a hero like yourself just leave him unattended like that? Did you not recognize him, or haven’t you heard of him yet?

Well, whatever. It was not as if Garou was glad about the circumstance he found himself in. If you didn’t know who he was prior to him attacking you, then there was practically no more explanations as to why he was still out here in the city and not confined within a four-walled cage.

Garou, however, couldn’t deny the fact that you not knowing who he was vexed him. He had defeated Tank Top Master, an S-Class. Did the Hero Association still not take him seriously?

The self-proclaimed Hero Hunter clicked his tongue in disappointment. Guess he had to kill beat more heroes up if that would get the stupid Association to give him the attention he so deserved.

Garou stopped on his tracks, eyes wide as he looked over his shoulder in surprise. He felt the ground shake before the sound of an explosion reached his ears. Soon enough, he could see black smoke through the canopy trailing up somewhere in the midst of K-City Nature Park.

A monster? Then that meant-

A feral grin appeared on his face. Just what he needed!

A shadow passed overhead as he ran towards the explosion’s general direction. Something wet landed a few feet behind him, the tell-tale sickening ‘splat!’ reaching his ears followed by a very familiar voice whose owner he had lost to.

“-keep telling them I’m not a hero, for heaven’s sake! I just wanna go home, Badd! Come pick me up, please! Yeah, I’m scared outta my wits here!”

Grin turning into a murderous smile, Garou could feel violence coursing through his veins. He never thought that he would get a rematch this early, but he’d be an idiot to let this chance slip by. Not when he already had a counter against your moves he could easily predict now that he had seen through your bluff about not being a hero.

“Well, well, if it isn’t Miss I’m-Not-a-Hero,” he said in lieu of a greeting once you emerged from within the forest.

And it was pretty convenient that K-City Nature Park is currently devoid of people except the two of you. Must be because of the monster that just attacked.

“Ah, thank god you’re alive- hey, what the hell?!” you exclaimed, expression quickly shifting from relieved to horrified. “What are you doing here? Are you… are you stalking me?”

The way genuine fear filled your face thrilled Garou to the bone. Heh, maybe you realized that baiting him like you did the first time wouldn’t work anymore. Also, you looked pretty cute in that blouse and skirt you were wearing despite the green blood staining your hands-

Hey, now, where the fuck did that come from?

Someone yelled on the other end of your phone call. Garou watched as you frantically yelled back at whoever you were talking to, telling them that you were being stalked. He nearly scoffed at your claim, and rolled his eyes when your screaming match with whoever you were talking to reached a fever pitch.

“What? You’re in A-City? B-But that would take forever! This weird bastard could’ve done a lot of lewd things to me before you get here!”

That made Garou raise an eyebrow at you in incredulity. First, you accuse him of being a stalker. Now you’re mistaking him for some perverted creep? Was this your ploy to get backup as quickly as you could?

He moved towards you in the blink of an eye, taking your phone and crushing it in his hand. You squeaked in terror, looking up at him as you stood frozen on the spot.

“You can drop the act now, little lady,” he told you menacingly. “You ain’t gonna fool me anymore. You’re just another hero I need to take down. No hard feelings”

Garou grabbed you by the collar, manic glee on his face at the thought of getting payback at you for beating him with just one hit.

You, on the other hand, cowered under his gaze. Eyes turning dull, your body went slack and you plopped forward against him.

It was Garou’s turn to freeze. Did you just pass out on him?

He tried to shake you awake but you were so out of it. “Hey, lady, what-“

You lifted your head, almost mechanically, to look up at him. The last thing Garou saw before one of your hands landed a powerful chop between the junction of his neck and shoulder was the same blank expression you gave him before he blacked out like the last time.

Huh.

Seemed like all of that mental preparation and movement prediction he made practically meant nothing against an enemy as unpredictable as you.

You were totally freaking out.

After lugging home the same weird bastard from a few days ago who scared you to death today (holy shit, did you really just take your stalker home?), you decided to call Badd for help. Then you remembered that Weird Guy broke your phone before you could tell your best friend where you were.

Great. Terrific. Wow.

Granted, you had every right to leave the weirdo currently sprawled on your futon alone like you did the first time. But you were so scared that you might have actually killed him this time (the bruise on his shoulder looked ugly) since you gave in to your fight instinct without sparing a thought on who you’re faced with.

Or maybe you did since the handsome bastard still drew breath when you checked on him once your mind resurfaced back to awareness.

Maybe you’d planned to bury him in the middle of K-City Nature Park if he proved to be dead. Lucky for you, you wouldn’t live a life riddled with guilt at murdering your fellow human by accident.

Currently, you were sitting on the floor of your bedroom and waiting for Weird Guy to wake up. You anxiously picked on the fabric of your short shorts while you kept an eye on him, watching his broad chest rise and fall with every breath he took.

You had taken quite a while ogling studying his features. He’s really easy on the eyes, you had to admit. And his muscles (“Oh, fuck, he’s hot-“) weren’t all for show, too. No one would ever know that you had (accidentally) copped a feel of those arms and chest when you hefted him up on your shoulders on the way home. You were eternally grateful for the physical strength your training had given you.

And his back… god, even his back muscles have muscles, for fuck’s sake!

You wouldn’t openly admit, but this guy was the second dude you’d describe as a freaking babe magnet.

(Badd didn’t need to know that he’s the first one. You didn’t need to give him something to relentlessly tease you with.)

Personality wise, you decided to lay off Weird Guy’s I-will-beat-the-crap-out-of-you behavior. You even excluded that weird stalking of his (you’d find out soon that he wasn’t), letting your fight instinct take over if he ever decided to go yandere on you. You wondered what he was normally like. Hopefully someone who wasn’t batshit crazy or something.

You stretched and yawned, letting your arms flop on the space of your futon he wasn’t occupying as you sprawled on the floor on your belly. You folded your arms and let your chin rest on them, [color] eyes admiring his side profile.

Oh, boy. You knew she wasn’t interested about it at her age, but you couldn’t wait to tell Zenko how you met this really, really good-looking guy.

Getting tired of waiting, you stood up and turned to your work table, grabbing a pen and piece of paper to pass the time.

You were fond of taking odd jobs here and there after you had graduated, still unsure of what you really wanted to do with your life despite the fact that you would be eighteen this year. Currently, you were working on a few art commissions to earn money aside from being a service crew at one of the branches of a certain fast-food chain in K-City.

You bent slightly to reach for the unruly pen that rolled away from your reach.

“Woke up somewhere I don’t know and the first thing I see is a pair of thighs. Huh.”

You stopped what you were doing and turned to face the weird guy, now wide awake and looking at you. Heat crept up your cheeks as you tugged on your short shorts, face undoubtedly red from embarrassment.

“They’re nice, by the way.”

At least he didn’t say ass.

You cleared your throat and backed off, fighting the urge to call him a pervert and maybe hit him for good measure. There was something you need to settle first, in case he started attacking you again out of the blue.

“Before you do anything, like, um, attack me,” you began, eyes glued on the wooden floor of your room, “let me clear one thing first.”

Weird Guy raised a brow at you, staying quiet. You took it as a cue to continue.

“Look, mister. I don’t know who the heck you are and what your game is, but I am NOT a hero. No. Nuh-uh. I am in no way affiliated with the Hero Association, and would never want to be. I’m not a hero, goddamn it! So, can you please, please, stop jumping at me and attacking me? I don’t want to go to jail for killing someone! I’m not even legally allowed to drink yet!”

“Tch. Didn’t even thank me for complimenting her assets,” he muttered, looking annoyed as he sat up and gingerly rubbed the place on his shoulder where you struck him.

You were completely caught off guard by his remark. Did he even listen to what you just said?

“H-Hey-“

“And don’t call me ‘mister’, little lady. I’m not that old,” he added, looking disgruntled. When he noticed you gaping at him, he rolled his eyes at you. “Yeah, yeah, fine. I get it. You keep saying you’re not a hero, but why did you save the kids from that monster back then? If you weren’t a hero like you keep on insisting, then why do their job?”

You wrung your hands and squirmed under his intense gaze.

“I-I’m kinda strong…? And isn’t that what decent, strong people do regardless of their title or status? I mean, isn’t it enough to be a decent human being to help?” you replied innocently, your eyes finding the hand clutching his injury to be particularly interesting – man, those fingers sure were long. You added rather self-consciously, mumbling under your breath, “…and it’s like I get a choice on the matter. My fight instinct does majority of the job for me…”

Unbeknownst to you, Weird Guy was now openly staring at you with mounting interest.

“You’re really not a hero, huh.”

You swallowed a lump in your throat before meeting his gaze and nodding in earnest.

“I’m really not!” you insisted. “I-I’m [Name], by the way.”

Weird Guy clicked his tongue and plopped back on your futon. “Who knew a civilian could knock me out with just one hit. Name’s Garou.”

“I’m sorry for hitting you twice, Garou. I just got really scared when you attacked me, and, uh…”

Awkwardly you stayed where you stood. It was not until Garou’s stomach growled that you were spurred into action.

“Um, I have food downstairs if you’re hungry…”

Golden eyes looked at you with mischievous glee. “Food’s good right now. Mind if I take a bite at those pretty thighs, too?”

Face red and steam practically hissing out of your ears, you slapped Garou so hard into unconsciousness without having to rely on your fight instinct.

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to be continued

#garou x reader #platonic metal bat x reader #garou #garou the hero hunter #garou the human monster #metal bat #badd #opm x reader #one punch man #one punch man season 2

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