Tumgik
#what im saying will probably be shown if i end up writing and sharing it
lavendorii · 7 months
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1 layer gang
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robozombii · 2 years
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lets say. metaphorically. i am gripping your shoulders with upmost strength (if thats cool lmao) sorry in advanced because im gonna get really annoying rq BUT ive started talking about duet and i WILL. NOT. STOP. also i dooo plan on sharing the slides to some but its been a wip for like a whole year😅so i doubt ill finish it soon. anyhow [inhale]
WARNING FOR mentions of the backrooms, death, but its not the main focus
about duet being an inciting incident, i could only GUESS as to what the gangs situation was like prior to duets encounter. but arthur in the comic dismisses lewis as soon as he mentions him. and THIS??
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ITS JUST A LINE. BUT IT SHOWS that the gang avoided anything to do with lewis. and thus, without duet slapping arthur in the face with cryptic literature, they wouldve probably been stuck in a depressing state of avoidism. which DOESNT MOVE A PLOT. BUT DUET DID!!! DUET THE FUCKING MADMAN
duet literally couldve had SO MUCH CONTROL over the gang. in the beginning at least- from encountering arthur at his most vulnerable state (which would be easier to influence), to giving the magic book, to telling arthur to get some gas for the van. that seems like a minor detail but imagine if they didnt and went to a gas station instead of the mansion. duet couldve literally had their ENTIRE ROAD TRIP planned out.
and another note- this???
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theres a lot of things to note about the comic panel by itself -how a book connected to duet has vines? connection to shiromori or rose thorns that point to lewis- AND THE COLOR IN ARTHURS EYES which does sort of resemble the possession and control reverb had over him. could this be a way of duet controlling arthurs will? but theyre both purple which caught my attention because COLOR IS IMPORTANT!!! it might be a stretch but it really is in msa. and i dont think duet and lewis would team up necessarily- i doubt theyd have the same motives. but duet isnt just 'the weird boss of tome tomb' theyre so much more CAPABLE. they could possibly forsee the future and shit?? IDK??
and going back to chloe- while i feel she has a bit of a motive to mess with the gang -its immature but a motive. go look at her wiki for an idea- duet could have the actual CAPABILITIES to put a plan into motion. a theory i saw stated that chloe was the 'SOLO' in reverbs intro, and thus a contrast to her friend duet, but could it also be that SOLO is an alternate name for duet themself? its just something to speculate, if one or the other could be malicious, or both.
OK RANT PART TWO: NOBODY FUCKING WRITES DUET and neither do i.. yet. but i rarely see them mentioned either!! WHICH SUCKS BECAUSE THE CANON HAS LITERALLY SHOWN THEM TO BE A SIGNIFICANT TOOL IN DRIVING MSAs PLOT. BEING THE INCITING INCIDENT.
this isnt so prominent in my fics, theyre mentioned in both of my published ones though- in full bloom, they say an odd phrase to vivi, just as they did to arthur in canon. it doesnt really do anything BUT i plan to utilize it in a possible sequel
in my BACKROOMS FIC THOUGH? theyre.. not mentioned that much either oops. but it goes to show just how odd an interpretation of duet could get. i stated earlier that duet possibly had control over the gangs future, part magic part manipulation, and thats fine in canon. they probably have good motives by pushing the gang together and FORCING them to make up- but in the backrooms fic, the gang literally ends up in a fucked up world and one of them ends up DEAD. like. if duet was aware of such a thing, and led the gang with full intentions to such a thing..
like- do you see what im saying? there could be tons of aus where just a touch of their influence fucks everyone up and turns them into a darker character than what they are right now. AND I LOVE MAKING FUCKED UP BLORBOS. PLEASE WRITE DUET AND CHLOE MORE OR AT LEAST IMPLEMENT THEM INTO PLOTS THEYRE THERE TO DO SHIT LET EM DO SHIT!!!!
if you wanna im not forcing you😭i hope i get an opportunity to REALLY really write em but a lot of my fic ideas are centered around arthur and vivi woops. anyways- thats just a FRACTION of what youd see on my msa presentation lmaoooo. i dont even have this rant added on there- so i probably should. feel free to add your own thoughts and stuff i love the fanart and fics this fandom has to offer but can we also offer SEVERAL PARAGRAPHS OF RANTING. please
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spamtonology · 2 years
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hi its the same anon here Again (i think i can just call myself sm anon so i dont have to introduce myself every time)
I just wanted to talk about how spamton's complex character and personality is generally greatly written making him very special character, as promised in last ask
When first encountering, hes only shown as a silly weirdo Trying to scam kris, but after you enter his shop (Which not everyone did while their gameplay) youre introduced to his darked side... Hes a lonely and desperate man, with very impulsive decisions and with his mind fixated on strange robot in queen's basement, the feeling around spamton immedietly changes from funny haha meme scammer to "oh my God. He is NOT ok" but Even with such weird and uncanny atmosphere, spamton still tries to be hopeful and funny, example the famous KEYGEN bit where he's parodying youtube poop video, or how generally hes generally making jokes relating to his possible Trauma (i wanna talk about that later possibly too. Special interest moment) or When he's Talking about freedom and heaven, as much as it all sounds concerning, i think he shows euphoria and hope (Which is more sad to think about after we later see how he ends up)
Thats what make him So special i think!!! Hes scary, hes probably sad alot too, but hes also hopeful!! He has so many dreams he wants to accomplish!! Even if its shown trought being absurdly desperate and strange, spamton hopes, he has good hopes, which WE know he doesnt achieve in the end, but he believes his life can get better, he never gave up, and kept going till the very end (and what he did with kris wasnt good btw, what i mean here is that hes just very hopeful and believes hes going to have better future, not choosing good ways to achieve it thought) and i think toby fox did generally amazing job making spamton character
I have So many thoughts i wanna share about spamton.... But i dont wanna write too long asks!!! Im probably just gonna write few diffrent asks someday yas (Also theres a chance i didnt properly write things i was thinking about So it could lead to some misunderstanding, if any confusion please lmk!!!)
Hello again! As for an identifier, I have seen anons use an emoji symbol as a way of identifying themself, you could use one! Any is good.
Something that’s notable about Spamton’s character is that he is almost entirely skippable: if you defeat him on the first fight, he will complain about how rude the player is and leave for the rest of the game, therefore locking his story out. It’s very interesting that the only way to proceed with his arc is to accept his deal and show him mercy!
So, yes, if all the player did was defeat him and move on, the player would simply see him as another weird quirk and not think much else of it. They would be missing out on his story. While the notion that he’s purely comic relief is blatantly false, I can’t say it comes from nowhere, people who only defeat him and move on probably do think that.
The shop isn’t where everything begins to unravel, it’s actually earlier on, first in the alley when you see a poster of “BIG SHOT AUTOS” where Spamton’s face from his better days can be seen.
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And shortly after meeting Spamton you can also mention his name to the Addisons, their responses vary and some simply don’t have any lines programmed.
The encounters in his shop are probably the closest you can get to knowing Spamton as a person (outside of NEO), and here is definitely something deeply wrong with this man. At one point he shuts down and appears to be taken over by a different entity, asking if anyone can hear “them”. Asking him about the Knight causes him to glitch out and the option is replaced with “friends”. He also seems to shut down at the mention of Mike.
Both the shop itself and his sprite in the shop have an uncanny feel and look to them, and the “exit” button is replaced with “RUN AWAY”, heightening the fear the player and/or Kris feels around Spamton. Sure, he’s funny, but he’s also deeply unsettling, and Toby does such a good job at balancing out these aspects of his character.
That ending of the NEO battle when he’s so happy the strings are finally being cut, then all goes silent and he flops motionless to the floor, is one of the most jarring things Toby has ever created. It doesn’t help that it drags on for a relatively long time, so you’re forced to look at the “corpse” on the ground there.
He might seem hopeful, but I think it’s more desperation than anything. He is definitely stubborn and determined to reach NEO at all costs, in such a desperate way that he’s willing to do anything for it.
What do you mean by “good” hopes? As in, morally good? I would say his hopes are rather selfish, but understandable otherwise. He only ever wanted to be free, and was willing to cheat, lie and manipulate to get his way to freedom. As a failed salesman and overall unpleasant person, that’s the route he decided to take rather than seek better, safer alternatives that wouldn’t further damage his reputation.
But...Well, it’s perfectly understandable to feel sympathy for him. When he’s written that way, and you know his backstory, you almost just want to give him a hug, and it can be rather disarming which is why it’s so important to look back at the canon source and analyze his canon behaviors, not what fanon says he should act like. One can feel great sympathy and understand that what he did was not good.
He needs a break. Some reprieve. He gets consequence for his malicious actions, but no closure for his want of freedom.
Death of a salesman, indeed.
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brick-a-doodle-do · 11 months
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1. Share a song that makes you think of Wilbur Chocolate :3
3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?
7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?
9. Do you write every day? If you wrote today, share a sentence of what you’ve written!
12. Do you have a playlist for your current WIP(s)? Share it! (PLEASEEEEE BRICK!!!)
15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?
26. Is there something you’ve written that you would never want your family to see?
ENJOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! :D
ayee thank you becky :DD
1, it depends,, cinnamon girl by ldr is kinda fitting? obviously in a VERY platonic way,,, i haven't really figured out wilbur and tommy's dynamic in the story buuuut i can see if fitting for now
3, aha well for g/t and actually finished fics it'd be still the wild winds blow as per usual. but i have a couple of non-g/t fics i work on from time to time and i really like those.
i have a killer tommy au and i think i'm really drawn to it just because of the ending, (which i haven't written yet cause im stuck on the beginning), which entails a LOT of crimebois. just. tender moments :3
7, dare you ask that. UHMMMM literally an endless list. all of my g/t aus i have fic ideas for, all of my half-finished series' i have thoughts for, ummm i can't get into the specifics at ALL but i can say easily over a hundred 😓
9, i try to every day, even if it's literally re-reading something i wrote in the past and editing it a little bit.
aaand i haven't written today but the last thing i think i wrote was
“Great, because I don’t actually think I can make anything except that,” Tommy deadpans, chuckling to himself at his own joke.
from wilbur chocolate 3 :D
12, WELL hm i have shown you the serenity playlist already. i don't really use that anymore but i do have it,, i have a playlist for a ghost dream au, and one for that killer tommy au. both are very old fjfj
i'd like to make more but a. i don't see a reason to and b. i consider "playlists" to be like 20 songs MINIMUM so if i don't have that immediately i lose interest reeeeal fast shfshd
15, a while ago puzzle recommended me these two websites (1: oh hello's lyrics, 2: hozier lyrics) so i am not really THAT creative with them. song lyrics are my go to
if i try really hard i can think of one, like for swapped au and that one is just because it rhymed and i referenced oceans a few times.
so either song lyrics or something REALLY simple that relates to the content of the fic
26, AHA all of my vore fics. i've told my mom the plot of curiosity to my little cousin once but i obviously excluded the fanfic aspect and ofc the vore.
but if my family found my socials and i had 1 minute to delete the stuff i didn't want them seeing it'd probably be this or this cause they're the most willing? idk. i feel like i could get away with explaining WHY this character just ATE this character ALIVE in more unwilling scenarios or panic scenarios.,,
THANK YOUUUUU FOR THESE!!!!! ask games are so mf fun :DDD
ask game !!
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imthegayone · 10 months
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deserving of love
Summary: Steve opens up to Nancy during the fruity four’s sleepover.
steve harrington x nancy wheeler (platonic), robin buckley x nancy wheeler (romantic), eddie munson x steve harrington (romantic) 
Warning: Bad writing (im dyslexic so idk wtf I’m doing), way to many commas and probably not used correctly. 
Writers Note: Like I said idk what I’m doing. I just wrote this and skimmed it but if I don’t post it now then I never will. I also don’t know how I feel about the ending but here we go...
_________________ It was dark in the Harrington household, the only light coming from the purposefully left on tv. Laid on the living room floor was Robin, Nancy, Steve, and Eddie. After Vecna, the four had come together almost every night to sleep at Steve’s house. His parents were never really home, so the lack of prying eyes as they all held each other was something they cherished. 
Eddie, as long as he was cured into Steve’s side would be the first to fall asleep. Robin being the next as she wrapped her arm securely around Nancy’s stomach, and making sure her knuckles could also feel the brush of Steve’s side.
 It left Nancy and Steve, the ones who’ve had the most run-ins with the upside down to wait until sleep would overtake them. Some nights they’d whisper about their days, Nancy sharing some of the stories she was working on and Steve would talk about the movie Robin had forced him to see that week. Other nights they’d lay silent as they listened to their partners sleep, Nancy playing with Robin’s hand and Steve running his fingers through Eddie’s hair.
This night was one of the latter, Eddie’s quiet snoring, Robin’s breathing, and the quiet hum of the tv being a sort of luluably to the last two awake. Each knew that the other's mind was racing with thoughts that kept them awake. With a comfortable blanket of understanding, there was no judgment in what the other was feeling or thinking, just an unwavering support. 
“I’m sorry.” Steve’s whisper cut through the air, making Nancy look over at him with confusion. 
“For when we were together.” Steve’s eyes cut from the blanket wrapped around him and Eddie to Nancy and back. Nancy’s expression turned to self-reproach but before she could say anything Steve continued.
“You deserved and are still deserving of so much love. I didn’t give that to you and I’m sorry. Seeing how much happier you seem when we’ve just supported you and loved you, it made me realize just how much of it I was denying you of.” His free hand was picking fake lint off the cotton trying to keep himself busy as he spoke a regret he’s only ever told Robin. 
A breathless broken laugh escaped his lips as he lifted his head, urging his tears not to fall. Nancy watched him, taking in his words. She placed her hand over his, gripping his fidgeting fingers. She held his hand looking at his face, quietly begging him to look at her. When he finally looks at her, a tear escapes him.
 “I’m really sorry, Nance” He whispers, his full love and remorse for her evident in his eyes. It almost breaks her, she’s seen how much he’s grown from being Steve “The Hair’ Harrington. But getting an apology for something like this hits her like a truck. 
“Steve, you’re just as deserving of love.” Shaking his head he looks down at their hands. Before thoughts of self hatred can come barreling into his mind Nancy tightens her hold. When he looks back at her, he sees that she means it. Nancy was always a terrible liar, he knew that and he knew she wouldn’t lie about this. 
“We were both stupid, but look at us now.” Nancy motioned to Robin and Eddie. “We’ve never been so happy. I don’t think I’ve ever heard us laugh as much as we do with them.” That put a smile on both of their faces just at the thought and as if on cue Robin’s arm tightened, and Eddie cuddled further into Steve. 
“They’ve helped us in showing and receiving love. And I know you love me and I love you. I know this, Steve, I know because you’ve shown me as much. In every little moment you’ve shown love and kindness. Not only with me but with Robin, Mike, all the kids really, even my mom. You have so much love in you and you deserve just as much. We both do.” Steve held Nancy’s hand back, a silent thank you passing through them. 
“I’m so glad to have you as a friend, Nancy.” 
“I’m glad to have you as a friend too, Steve.”
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maurenislife · 7 months
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Theres only so much self hate i can acquire
Or guilt like im still processing alot of other shit that will have to get added 2 the queue
Also idc that he found this page or even if he go share it or laugh or screenshot or whatever he may do cause honestly thats my fault for ever thinking like i was so comfortable im like omg somebody trying to get me nahh its a tactic and love make u see beyond game but a man game is on regardless its all a game
Everybody says weird shit that u truly feel like u just like the idea of me
Projection
You just want me for my energy and space
Projection
Everything projectile cause in stats in statistics That could b labeled as false
If my sugar daddy said u are using me etc. he would be 100% correct cause if we check stats along with situation it adds up completely
When a man my age starts playing that game
Subconsciously but a game
I just have to sit and ponder
Cause only thing they used was time and maybe they had to feel pathetic for loving but love is quite pathetic cause it DOESNT exist among relationships with somebody who you are not kin too,
Cheat steal use and the good times make up for all the bullshit thats a relationship
Most relationships pple lie and cry alot
Alot of fights too alot of disagreements all cause some person or both are lonely
Rather have a bunch of bullshit cause maybe this gets better or good eventually
The only love that truly exists between mothers and grandmothers thats so unconditional they dnt wanna argue n fight just cause maybe at the end of the road there will b a worthy exchange for pain
They love n argue cause they want the best for you there is no reward in the love they show they show it cause dammit they love you and ive always shown that kind of love
Well i thought i have
Probably didnt but i tried
Cause if its not the correct puzzle piece or information that connects to the right button or switch bitch u otw out
And soon this will be laughing material for most, i think what alotta people dont realize is my life has been laughing matieral at all stages not just this one so
It could b worse i mean who wants to look thru a bunch of manic and emotionally charged posts 4 fun?
Even the ones I write with a clear brain
It could be source of entertainment
But i write this post all to say if he still watching im still using this page whether its the guise of a sudden audience member or if im still shouting into a void
Pple know i dont care
They say they dont care but I truly dont care, i came up alone ive been in violent situations alone nobody came 2 help so if a nigga wanna take entertainment out a chunk of my life im glad i could be a source of happiness and healing in reading thru everything that gets 2 me
Ive had niggas say they gone come kill me
Gun to my face
Stomps on my head
Ive been raped multiple times from a young age
My mom dgaf bout me i mean what more could u possibly do to me for me to feel slighted im chronically slighted
Paper cut is how most shit feel to me now
There’s nothing fun in being afraid of nothing, always said u tryna to b hard
Idk what way 2 be soft with a endearment cycle like mine. Everything comes out harsh cause how do u say things with a softness ?
How do u live softly? If u not using softness as a cover as a straight up lie cause u know deep down its not pink jeeps and white fur carpets face masks and femininity is a JOKE!
I got extremely tired of covering up who i was cause it got to be a second job
If not being me was the first one
If i gotta b scapegoat for being authentic this merely a example
Dont be honest, every girl has told me that and have been 1000% correct
Nobody ready to truly break 4th wall and be candid be deeper than words beyond thought and to disect where the orgins lye
I had a hole in my underwear lmao right
I didnt care cause like im in bed who gaf
But he did n i tried to explain why i didnt care,
Nuance
LAYER 1
have these underwear since middle school cause my mom bought them 4 me at a time where she still gaf i still got em I still wear em
LAYER 2
Im behind closed doors nobody sees me but me or you idc
LAYER 3
Holes are holes and underwear is under clothes so its not seen im not seen
On top of that im embarrassed like wtf
Cause then i think bout them posts that get seared into brains of many like hygiene politics
And i have good hygiene so i didnt gaf
Idk just know imma still post on here
From my pov my raw pov no matter if my page get found or not we out chere 😇🤷🏾‍♂️🕳️
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cheese-water · 8 months
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This is going to be chronological order OG only chronicle o tweets on Twitter or x or whatever the heck is up w/ that.
It is set in 1900s ish july. It mentions a ‘She’ im assuming is a therapist of some sort. The writer most likely is mentally ill or something and is told to write thoughts down to help. 
Bro has trauma wtf when did this happen?? Glances, phrases, remarks, notes. Do not understand situation is better shown than told probably some type of trauma honestly. Family and dog: you know they are already fucking dead though, come on you know ain’t no way they survive this. Will not forget bad things bad things probably life changing is worst way possible or something.
J maybe therapist?? Then bizarre dream tf is up with this kids mind tho-?? AND IT MEANS CYCLE?? like timeloop cycle, history repeating cycle, which we talking about??
Oh yeah shitty manager. I’ve been analyzing these and I’ve read that at least 20 times. 20 times of a fictional character complaining about their fictional boss tf is my life?
Spoopi dream and oh hey same hall and doors each time and the other dream meant cycle that’s just lovely!1!!1 
The XXXX might be Mary and Mary might be the actual expert/therapist person? It implies Mary is the one who suggested person to write(?)
“Why can’t I be in control of everything” DAMN WRITER OK RELATABLE K THATS FINE OK also please throw the vcr out the window especially if it’s more than a 1 story building, please.
Happy birthday :DD ayyy fucked ver of happy birthday that’s cooool and we trust J :] oh yeah shit work place for like the 5th time dear god
ok therory also summarize things:
Writer(which is going to be referred to as 0), most likely (knowing Ranboo) is traumatized, and is getting some form of therapy. His therapist (I HOPE IS) Mary suggested he should write his thought down to help. At first 0 hated it, but overtime it did help a lot. A friend J told 0 to write is absolutely obscure dreams down. 0 does as 0 trusts J quite a bit even lets J read the journal entries. J is into supernatural and “crazy” things (same) and tells 0 that 0(bro idk pronouns im sorry) is reliving things that 0 might have repressed or something possibly trauma. 0 works at a very bad place with a horrible manager. 2 more spooky dreams later and oh, 0 still complaining about job. Creepy birthday song and wow I’m done with thing more than a month long project. this was so long and a lot of stuff was very cut down omg I’m tired I’m going to sleep buh bye
-☁︎🪷
P.S hi started school uh yeah hope your doing well :]
We love J for actually listening to 0’s dreams. They’re a real one fr. That being said, knowing Ranboo, I’m fully expecting J to be the one who traumatized and/or killed 0’s family in the end. Another Hetch situation y’know? Really though, what friend would look at your dream journal and say, "Oh yeah, that’s prolly some repressed trauma for you," like? I’ve had my fair share of strange dreams, but my immediate thoughts don’t go to deep-rooted trauma (I wouldn’t know it’s literally repressed, I guess?).
*intermission for me to read the tweets since I found a good twit front end on github a few weeks back B)*
Oh… oh no. Here we go again. If I had a nickel for every time Ranboo created a character who had to write their thoughts in a journal to cope with their repressed traumas and memory issues, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice. No, but really, this post solidified it for me:
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The obvious is, "I dont think ill be forgetting those." Clearly, this is an important list of things to remember, and judging by the constant work reminders, Zero (I have to give them some sort of name) uses this journal as a way to help/cope with their forgetfulness and it’s been working so far.
What’s listed in the Good Things list is strange. Most notably the second one, "My dog." ???? My dog????? Who the hell in a supposedly personal journal doesn’t call their dog by their name? If it’s for the reader's sake, that doesn’t make sense either. It could’ve been a classic dog name (à la Spot, Rover, etc.) or, even better, have the name written after my dog: My dog Lola or My dog Winston. I may be overthinking this, but it’s such a strange detail to include with the introduction of Zero’s memory issues in the exact same post. Because all that implies is that Zero’s memory has already been degrading, with or without their knowledge.
Also, I'm not sure how or why we were even getting chronicle 0 in the first place. Is it like some sort of time paradox relating to Zero’s dreams? My best theory is that someone in 2023 (right now) found the journal and is literally chronicling/recording it online for others. This would explain the redacted words in the tweets, since they wouldn’t be if they were posted by Zero's thoughts themselves. And it gives new meaning to the random "?" posts. Maybe the page scanner couldn’t translate what was written down? Or was there nothing written there at all?
All I’m sure of is that whatever was on those "?" pages, those are the pages Jay has been writing on. Which quick aside, WTF JAY!? Why the hell are you writing in someone else’s therapy journal when you know they have memory problems? Who do you think Zero will assume wrote that down? Their nameless dog? NO ZERO MUST OF CAUSE ITS THEIRS. I don’t care if Zero trusts you because you're their childhood best friend or partner or whatever, but to me, you’re extremely misguided at best and suspicious and manipulative at worst. Anyway, assuming the "?" pages are Jay's, either their handwriting is less legible than Zero’s (or at least visually distinct enough that whoever’s tweeting these out can tell the difference from other pages or entries), or they’re some sort of drawing. Of what I’m not sure.
But back to the why: Someone found Zero’s journal and began posting pages of it because either they find it fascinating and unnerving (the reasonable solution) or (the flimsier, weirder solution) the account is the beginnings of an autobiographical journal-book about Zero if they actually did or experienced something notable in their future (for example, the style of Anne Frank’s journals). Imagine Showfall, or *insert Gen 0 capitalistic conglomerate here* publishing "The Story of Chronicle 0: How The Founder Found Their Way." It would be if Disney got ahold of Walt’s childhood diaries and sold them as a collector’s item. It’s so strange and wrong to do, but we all know it’d make bank. Plus, it feeds into the intrusive/changing perception theme from Gen 1 if Ranboo wants to continue that thread. Once again, grain of salt, spitballing, yadda yadda, this is getting interesting, and I haven’t even touched the dreams yet lmao.
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hornime · 3 years
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home workout | bokuto koutarou x gn!reader
“i’d let you do- do anything. anything you wan’ to me. i’m yours. all- all,” his voice raised a few octaves as the inside of your thighs brushed past his cockhead, “yours. all yours.”
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warnings: 18+, sub!bokuto, jealous!reader (i mean who wouldn’t be when bokuto, your goddamn boyfriend, is perceived by other people the fuck), also lowkey possessive!reader, lotsa licking and sucking, nipple play, some praise (from reader) and some begging, brief mention of dacryphilia, kinda soft at the end
w/c: 1.5k sheesh
a/n: bokuto brainrot has me in literal tears. him being completely clueless to people flirting w him cus he doesn’t recognize romance from anyone but you has me so soft. i luv this man w my whole heart !!!!! ALSO THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVE ON THE BAKUGO FIC I JUST ABOUT SHIT MY PANTS WOOWWOWO
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you weren’t an idiot. you knew that your boyfriend was attractive in literally every aspect of the word. he was sweet, patient, and kind, and what he lacked in academic smarts was made up tenfold in his emotional maturity and ability to read people. big and beefy, bokuto was all yours and all you wanted to stay trapped within his arms forever. unfortunately, to maintain the figure you adored so much and stay in shape for the volleyball season, he had to leave the four walls of your shared bedroom far more than you liked, having a daily obligation to spend a few hours at the gym.
once again, you weren’t an idiot. the few times that your work schedule and his training schedule aligned, you’d been able to work out together. and despite your knowledge of just how good-looking bokuto was and the fact that other people could perceive him (much to your chagrin) you were shocked at just how much people shamelessly flirted with him. 
cute girls with matching leggings and sports bras practically clung to his biceps, gushing about how strong he was and how he could probably pick them up with just one hand. their incessant giggling, mesmerizing hair twirling, and teasing touches pissed you off to no end, and you’d tug your boyfriend away before their breasts got too close to him for your liking.
something else you noticed was that, no matter how blatantly obvious the girls seemed to be, the guys were somehow worse, flirting through terms you couldn’t even understand. they compared deadlift weights, bicep curls, hip thrusts; you gritted your teeth thinking about whether they’d ever compared cock sizes in the locker room—you wouldn’t put it past those thirsty gym rats. sneaky bastards.
and bokuto, of course, was oblivious to it all. how could you blame him—he was so used to being adored! you knew that, to him, all of their praises paled in comparison to yours, but you couldn’t help but feel jealous. he was all yours—should be all yours—and you hated sharing him with the world.
you woke up saturday morning with a ringing in your ears, hand smacking the nightstand trying to turn off that god-awful alarm noise, bleary eyes barely able to focus on the text notification from your boyfriend.
[5:33 AM] kou: gm babe!!!! i didnt wanna wake u up cus u looked so peaceful! im heading to the gym rn. text me when ur up! love uu
[5:34 AM] kou: should be home around 9!! gym bud wants to show me something so i might be a little late for breakfast.
just to reiterate, you weren’t an idiot. for all the annoying flirting you noticed when you were with bokuto, there was no doubt in your mind that there must be a lot more when he was at the gym alone, which, unluckily for you, was most of the time since he was a freakin’ pro athlete and all.
you couldn’t prevent the pool of envy from swirling in your gut. gym bud? are you serious? who could that be? the girl with the arm tat or the dude with the dreads? no, maybe its that yoga instructor with the ass—
you shook your head, clearing your brain. you’d be here for hours if you went through everyone at that stupid gym that had ever shown interest in bokuto. the clock read 9:53 AM and the green flame in your body only burned brighter. just as you were about to call him and ask where he was, the front door slammed open.
“babe! i’m home!”
you silently put your phone down, teeth still clenching in jealousy. for some reason, hearing his voice only exacerbated the tension in your shoulders. you needed him. now.
“babe?” his voice creeped closer as he tread through the hallway towards the room. “you up?”
you peeked your head out of the doorframe, cheery voice masking your devilish intentions, “kou!"
his eyes brightened as he made eye contact with you and flashed his trademark smile. “hey! what’s u-” he took in the mischievous glint in your eyes “-p?”
you grabbed his burly forearm, yanking him behind you and walking towards him, forcing him to stumble and fall back on the bed. “wait! i’m all gross and sweaty,” he said, “gym showers were broke-”
“i don’t care. take off your shirt.”
“wow, someone’s eager. missed me that much?”
“watch it,” you glared. “i’m not in the mood, kou.”
he gulped at the dominance radiating from your voice, scrambling to take off the t-shirt that stretched between his pecs perfectly. with the fabric off and throw haphazardly to the side, he looked to you expectantly, the epitome of innocence.
your eyes wandered over his sculpted chest, the remnants of a soft sheen of sweat from his workout making it shine in the sunlight pouring through the blinds. your heart stuttered in your chest—he looked like an angel. coupled with the way with his bottom lip was tucked under his front teeth and the wide, anticipating look in his eyes, fuck. you almost smiled how blessed you felt in that moment, to see him in such a raw, alluring position, before a jarring thought caused your lips to twitch back into a frown.
everyone else can see him, too.
your eyes hardened. maybe they can see him all big and strong, you thought, but they’ll never get to see him like this: submissive.
and so fucking sensitive.
within an instant, your lips were latched on the soft spot above his collarbone, causing him to whimper in pleasure. you continued to travel along his throat, slowly working your way to the other side of his neck and crossing back to nibble at his adam’s apple.
you unexpectedly pulled away, drawing a short whine from him, before repositioning yourself so that you were straddling his outstretched legs. slowly, starting from the hem of his shorts, you dragged your tongue between the ridges of his abs, moving up towards his pecs, tasting the saltiness of his sweat and feeling the muscles tense underneath.
“fuck,” he groaned. as your lips puckered around one of his peaked nipples, he uncontrollably jerked his hips up, inadvertently rubbing his sensitive cock between your legs. overwhelmed by the sensation, he moaned. “fuck.”
“you taste good,” you muttered, grazing your teeth over his other nipple. “just wanna taste you all the time. you’d let me, right?”
thoughts muddled by just how good everything felt, he nodded mindlessly. “i’d let you do- do anything. anything you wan’ to me. i’m yours. all- all,” his voice raised a few octaves as the inside of your thighs brushed past his cockhead, “yours. all yours.”
you paused. raising your head from his chest, you made eye contact with him, so intense he almost closed his eyes to shield himself from the blaze burning in your dilated pupils. “why’d you stop,” he begged, “i want more. feels so good and i wan’ mor-”
“say it again,” you demanded. “tell me that you’re mine.”
his eyes, glossed over and prickled with tears precariously close to falling, squeezed tightly as he spoke, unable to control the growing volume of his voice. “’m all yours. always. all yo- yours.” he gasped as you resumed your movements, pinching the sensitive skin around his v-line while fervently leaving sloppy kisses on his chest. 
“good boy.”
he keened at your praise. another light touch to his cock combined with the passage of your mouth had him trembling, and his breath hitched as he cried out in warning, tears now flowing freely over his flushed cheeks. “m’ gonna cum, ‘m gonna, gonna cum.”
“yeah?” you whispered, lips brushing against his strained abs. “go ahead then.”
“fuck!” he whined, blabbering as you sat back and watched in awe of the beauty before you, a big strong man like him reduced to nothing more than a moaning mess. “fuck, fuck—you always make me feel so, s-so go-od, fuck i love you.”
with soaked shorts and an exhausted sigh, he dropped his head back onto the plush comforter of the bed. you flattened your palms on his quivering body, reeling from the aftershocks of his orgasm. he panted, running his fingers through your hair before nudging your face to look at him, staring at you with an expression of pure bliss and adoration. he studied you for a bit before declaring with a soft smile, “you’re the best. so fuckin’ happy that i’m yours.”
driven by affection, he sat up and reached his arms around your waist, snuggling his chin over your shoulder and mashing your chests, yours clothed and his naked, together. “kou wait!” you shrieked. “you’re all sweaty again! it’s gross!”
he chuckled. as if you hadn’t been spoiling him by licking it up just a few minutes ago. “you’re right. i‘m probably sweating more now than i was after my workout.”
at that, your ears perked up. “well maybe you should do home workouts more often then,” you teased.
“you’re right,” he repeated with a grin, “maybe i should.” if it meant more mornings like these, he’d forego the gym in a heartbeat. 
that night, he canceled his gym membership. after all, he reasoned, it’s offseason anyway.
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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years
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TO LOVE AND BE LOVED - Part Three (Harry Styles)
a/n: part 3 wohoo! thank you so much for all the love you’ve been showing the series, it keeps me going and writing more and more! originally i thought it would turn out to be about three parts, but it has outgrown that limit so i added two more parts to the masterpost, that’s for sure is gonna happen but i might even add more?! not sure, im still in the writing process so i can’t tell how long it’s going to turn out to be, but this just means even more content for you guys!
as always, feedback is very much appreciated, please make sure to share your thoughts and comments on the part, it’s such a huge boost for writers to read what you thought!!
pairing: CEO!Dad!Harry X Reader
warning: mentions of death, cheating and divorce
word count: 11.4k
SERIES MASTERPOST masterlist
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When you were working at the daycare you couldn’t focus on photography as much as you would have liked to. You often had to stay in for extra hours, wait until the last kid was picked up and then do paperwork, or change the decoration in your room or whatever Clair asked you to do that day. By the time you got home you just wanted to take a bath and fall into bed. You also had to travel 40 minutes to work which took away a lot of time from your day.
Working for Harry helped you immensely with focusing more on your passion. Even on his worse days he got home by six and since your workplace is your home, you don’t even have to drive forty minutes to enjoy the comfort of your home, you just walk up the stairs to your room and that’s it.
In addition, taking care of Izzy, you still have the chance to work on some editing or snap new pictures. You have time off when she has her classes and when you put her down for her nap. The best thing is that Izzy is quite interested in photography, she gets very interested whenever she sees you bring out one of your cameras and she always lets you take pictures of her, posing and goofing around. The folder on your computer that has her name is growing each day with more and more sweet photos of the little girl that has completely stolen your heart. You’ve been regularly getting your favorites shots of her printed and you always leave them on Harry’s desk so when he gets home he sees them and they make him forget about whatever happened at work that day.
You are getting more and more emails about possible sessions and slowly but surely, your weekends start to fill up with weddings, birthday parties and engagement photoshoots. It seems like you have definitely made the right choice when you took this job. No doubts.
“Can I ask a question, daddy?” Izzy is poking the peas around on her plate as the four of you sit at the dining table at dinner. Ruth has joined you today, because Harry had to make a quick trip to his office in the afternoon and you were out shopping with Trevor today.
“Sure, baby,” Harry hums nodding.
“Why don’t you eat meat?” she asks seriously, eyeing her own plate that has some chicken on it, while Harry’s is only stacked with veggies and potatoes.
“Because I decided that I won’t want to.”
“Can I decide that too?”
“You’re a little too young for that, baby. You need the meat to grow big. When you’re older you can think about what kind of things you want to and don’t want to eat.”
“Okay,” she nods without throwing a tantrum about her dad telling her no. You know quite a few kids who would have flipped over it, but not Izzy. Harry might not even realize how good of a job he is doing raising her and teaching her how to be a good human.
“I have another question,” she announces, glancing up at Harry.
“Go ahead.”
“If you don’t eat meat, does that make you an herbivore?”
You can’t push down a chuckle, you were not expecting this. Your eyes meet Ruth’s over the table, she is enjoying this conversation just as much as you do. It’s cute how Izzy put two and two together and made a seemingly logical conclusion.
“We learned about herbivore dinosaurs this week,” you inform Harry, who is a little lost about why his daughter just called him an herbivore. Also, you’re quite impressed that she remembered the word, though she struggled with it at first, but it seems like it finally stuck.
Harry shakes his head chuckling as he sets his fork down, looking over at Izzy.
“In a way I should be called an herbivore, but that’s not what you call people who don’t eat meat. I’m a vegetarian.”
“Oh, okay,” she nods, wrapping up the information in her head as she keeps eating.
You and Ruth clean up after dinner while Harry gives Izzy a bath, a little earlier than usually, because she spilled apple juice on herself, so he decided to just go straight for the bath instead of changing once more before bedtime.
“Will you be fine with putting these away, Darling?” Ruth asks as you’re drying the last few dishes.
“Sure! I’ll take care of it,” you smile back at her as she nods and heads into the living room.
Harry emerges from upstairs with a freshly cleaned Izzy on his arms. As soon as her little feet touch the floor she bolts over to join Ruth in front of the TV while Harry walks into the kitchen just as you put the last dish away.
“Hey, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” he starts and suddenly, you feel your stomach drop, especially because his face seems very serious.
“Oh God, what did I do?” you ask, feeling yourself panicking already.
“Nothing! It’s not like that!” he chuckles softly, realizing you kind of misunderstood the situation.
“Okay, good. Sorry, you just looked so serious.”
“Sorry, I was just… thinking. So two friends of mine that I work together with also are getting married soon. They had a photographer booked already, but the guy cancelled on them and, um, I hope you don’t mind, but I recommended you to them.”
“Really?” you ask in complete surprise.
“Yeah. Actually, they saw a picture of Izzy that you took in my office and we started talking about how you do photoshoots in your free time and then I told them to ask if you’d be up to do their wedding as well.”
“Wow, that’s really nice of you, Harry. Thank you!”
“I gave them your number, they’ll probably call you sometime next week or so.”
“Great!” you beam, excited about the new event you can work at. “I hope they’ll want to work with me.”
“I kind of hyped you up for them and they seemed very pleased with the pictures I showed them, so I’m sure they will want to,” Harry chuckles softly, even blushing a little. It always amazes you how a tall, muscular guy with so many tattoos can be such a soft, caring and loving person. It always reminds you not to judge the book by its cover.
“Thank you, Harry. This means a lot to me.” Reaching over you place your hand on his arm and give it a gentle squeeze before moving past him to join Ruth and Izzy in the living room.
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Harry was right about Sarah and Mitch being all excited to get in contact with you, because they don’t even wait for the next week to reach out. Sunday afternoon you are working on some more editing at the dining table while Harry and Izzy are painting on the other end of the table, busy with their masterpieces when your phone starts ringing, an unknown number shown on the screen.
“Y/N Y/L/N,” you answer it, leaning back in your seat.
“Y/N, hi! My name is Sarah Jones, I hope I’m not calling at a bad time, Harry gave me your number this week.”
“Oh! Sarah, yeah! So nice to talk to you!” you beam and Harry’s eyes snap up to you at the mentioning of the familiar name. “Harry mentioned you’d reach out and don’t worry, I’m happy to chat.”
“That’s great. I wanted to wait until Monday, but truth is that we are kind of in a short of time and I was afraid you’d be already busy for our date, so I wanted to call you as soon as possible.”
“No worries.”
“So first and foremost, I’m gonna ask if you have anything planned on the last weekend of May. I know it’s just in a few weeks, but I really hope we can work it out.”
“Let me pull up my calendar,” you tell her as you open up the app on your computer that you use to keep track with your sessions and events. Finding the weekend in question in it, you smile at the empty space. “Good news, seems like I’m free that weekend.”
“Oh thank God!” she breathes out in relief and you let out a chuckle. “That’s so amazing. So then would it be possible to meet up sometime next week? You could show some more works of yours and we can discuss more details, how does that sound?”
“This week? Well I have to work—“ you start, but Harry cuts you off.
“Come into the office tomorrow morning.” “What?”
“Put her on speaker,” he smiles nodding towards your phone and you do as he asked, setting it to the table with Sarah on speaker. “Hey Sarah!”
“Harry, hi!”
“Aunt Sarah?” Izzy’s ears perk up, some pink paint on her cheeks that you have no idea how it got there, because her painting doesn’t even have any pink in it.
“Hi Izzy! So good to hear your voice!” she chuckles through the phone.
“Sarah, you’re gonna be at the studio Monday morning, right?” Harry asks and you can’t not notice how his voice changed the slightest bit as soon as he started talking about business.
“Yeah and Mitch is coming too,” she confirms.
“Okay then how about you come in tomorrow morning, Y/N?”
“But what about Izzy?”
“She can come too. I’ll look after her while you discuss the details, it’s no big deal. It’s been a while since the last time she came to work with me,” he smirks over at the little girl, who is already excited to spend some more time with her daddy at his workplace.
“Are you sure about that?”
“Absolutely,” he nods smiling.
“Thank you, well then I’m okay with tomorrow if it’s fine for you as well, Sarah.”
“That would be perfect! Thank you guys both, Mitch and I really appreciate it.”
“No worries,” Harry nods, going back to his painting. You take Sarah off the phone as you say your goodbye before ending the call.
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You start Monday off with some extra excitement. Not just because you are about to get booked for another event, but also because it’s going to be the first time you see Harry at his workplace. He has been quite good at keeping his business separated from his private life, it never really happens that you catch him dwell about anything work related whenever he is home and around Izzy. The phone call with Sarah was like a tiny glimpse of what he might be like when he is in work mode and you’re kind of curious to see more of this side of him.
Just as usual, Harry takes care of Izzy in the morning while you get ready on your own. You want to look good, not only are you going to meet more of his friends, but people he works with. Or should you say, people who work for him.
You choose a light pink dress, throwing a white knitted sweater over your shoulders with a pair of ballerinas. After putting on some light makeup and grabbing your purse and laptop you head downstairs to grab a quick breakfast. Izzy is already sitting at the table, still in her pajamas since her and food are a dangerous combination and Harry always makes sure to get her dressed once she is away from all of that.
“You look so pretty, Y/N!” she beams, her legs dangling from the chair as she digs into her oatmeal. Harry appears from the kitchen and he has the same look on his face like when he saw you leave for that wedding a while ago. A blush paints his cheeks as he slows his steps down, his eyes running down on the length of your body before they return to your face.
“Izzy is right, you look… really pretty, Y/N,” he compliments into your face, unlike last time when you only heard him call you pretty when he thought you were long gone.
“Thank you,” you breathe out with a soft chuckle.
The morning carries on as usual, Harry dresses Izzy for the day and then you all head out, however you stop short upon seeing the various cars parked on the driveway and the double garage.
“Maybe take the Rover, it’s got the child seat in it and I’ll take the Jaguar today,” Harry suggests as he hands you over the keys to the Rover and then nears the car he is taking for the day.
“Oh yeah, you just take the Jaguar, boss,” you chuckle under your breath, finding it a little funny that deciding on which car you’re taking for the day is even a question in someone else’s life.
Izzy sings along the radio as you follow Harry’s car into the label’s building. Of course, it’s not just some simple office building, it’s situated in the riches area of the city and the building is massive with loads of floors and a huge HES Records sign above the entrance where you meet Harry after parking down.
“Good morning, Mr. Styles! Hello, Izzy!” the woman behind the front desk smiles widely immediately, standing up from her chair to hand Harry a stack of envelopes. “Your post, sir.”
“Thank you, Veronica. Have a nice day,” Harry nods in her way as the three of you move through the hall to the elevators. Waiting for it to arrive, you glance at the board on the wall that lists everything you can find in the building and the level you should look for it at. There are endless amount of studios, at least three on each levels, offices, creative rooms and conference rooms. It’s pretty clear that HES Records manages a lot of talents and that requires a lot of space.
Arriving to the twentieth floor, which is of course the top of the building, you are in awe as you realize that the whole floor is basically Harry’s office. There’s a kind of hall area for his two assistants, he has his own conference room, his kitchen and dining area and of course, his office space. The whole place screams power and influence. The modern design of the interior makes it such a fancy work space not just for him, but for everyone else in the building. It’s truly impressive.
“Wow, Harry. This place is… amazing,” you breathe out as he walks the two of you into the conference room where Izzy immediately climbs up to one of the chairs, standing up so she can lean onto the table. Harry walks behind her and adjusts her so she just sits before she could fall off.
“Thank you. I really like this place too. I always thought it’s important to have a great place to work at,” he smiles, clearly proud of how far his business has come. “There’s a mini fridge over there, feel free to take anything you’d like. Sarah texted me on the way here that they’ll be here shortly.”
“Great, thank you,” you nod, taking a seat next to Izzy as you set your laptop up. The glass door of the room opens and one of the assistants peeks inside.
“Mr. Styles, Mrs. Wonstein is on the phone asking for you.”
“Oh, alright, give me a minute and I’ll take it.” The assistant nods and walks out. “Izzy, come with daddy a little, alright? Let Y/N do her thing.” “She can stay, if you want. I can look after her,” you tell him, but he shakes his head as Izzy climbs off the chair and running over to him, she takes his hand.
“No, just focus on this one. I’ll take care of her, don’t worry.”
“Thank you, Harry,” you smile with gratitude as the two of them walk out, leaving you alone. You start scrolling through your folders, wondering which photos you should show Sarah and Mitch, picking out some of your favorites while you wait for them, though they don’t take too long to arrive. Soon enough the glass door opens and the lovely couple walks in.
“Y/N! Hi, it’s so nice to finally meet you!” Sarah greets you, wrapping you in a warm hug before stepping aside.
“Hi, I’m Mitch, nice to meet you,” the groom-to-be smiles shyly as he pulls you in for a short hug as well.
“Good to meet you guys too,” you smile back at them as you all sit to the table.
“Thank you so much for meeting us in such a short notice. Our photographer bailed out on us and I was starting to really worry when Harry mentioned that you are doing this kind of stuff in your free time,” Sarah explains.
“No worries. Would you like to go over some of my previous works?” you offer and they both nod in excitement before you start clicking through some old projects.
They share their vision for the whole wedding and the kind of pictures they would like and you like their approach and feel like it’s right up your alley. They both seem to like what you show them and Sarah compliments on how well you are able to catch small, but important moments.
“The wedding won’t be too big, just friends and family, but we do want a lot of memories, it means a lot to us,” Sarah explains and you nod, noting everything she says.
“Harry said you like this oldschool kind of vibe in your pictures,” Mitch chimes in.
“Oh, yeah. I like to make them look like they weren’t taken on a digital sometimes.”
“Do you think you can make some of those for us as well? Not all of them, just a couple,” Sarah asks.
“Sure! It’s more about the editing process, but it’s totally doable.”
You go over a few more things, making sure you’re on the same page, but you feel like things are working out perfectly. Though you guessed they would be great people, it’s still nice to work with such a nice and professional couple. You’ve had some crazy ones before, they definitely don’t make the job easy on you, but it’s not the case right now.
“Okay, so are you sure the date is okay for you? We wouldn’t want you to cancel on anything you had before just because we are Harry’s friends,” Mitch assures you, but you give them a warm smile.
“I’m totally free, don’t worry. Harry doesn’t have that kind of advantage here,” you chuckle softly.
“Thank you so much in this case. You’re truly a lifesaver,” Sarah breathes out in relief.
“Thank you for the trust. I’m really looking forward to working with you guys!”
Finishing up the meeting you pack up, chatting a little out of the business talk with Sarah and Mitch as you head over to Harry’s office.
“Hey! How did it go?” Harry asks as soon as the three of you walk in. Izzy is sitting at his desk, like a little boss, coloring something as he is sitting on the corner of the desk.
“Amazing, we owe you one for suggesting her,” Sarah sighs and you can’t help but just chuckle at how thankful she really is that you could help them out.
“You owe me no more than just one dance at the wedding,” Harry smiles at her.
“Can I dance too?” Izzy’s head perks up.
“Oh baby, you’re not coming to the wedding. You’ll be staying with Grandma, I already told you.” Izzy pouts at her dad, but she doesn’t seem to mind it that much, she quickly goes back to coloring.
“We’ll dance some other time, okay?” Sarah offers her and she nods happily.
“Can I dance with Uncle Mitch too?” she questions and Mitch just smiles down at her.
“Of course,” he hums, curling an arm around Sarah’s waist. “I have a meeting in ten so I’ll head out, I’m gonna pick James up in the afternoon, alright?” He kisses Sarah’s temple before pulling Harry into a brotherly hug. “Y/N, it was so nice to meet you and thank you for everything again,” he smiles at you, enveloping you in a quick hug as well.
“See you soon,” you smile back before he waves his last goodbye and leaves. “Who’s James?” you ask curiously.
“James is our son. He is turning three this year,” Sarah beams proudly.
“Oh! You two already have a son, that’s great! I’ll make sure to snap a bunch of photos of him too,” you chuckle.
“Please, our house is already packed with pictures, but there’s just never enough,” Sarah laughs.
The three of you chat a little longer while Izzy is busy with her coloring, talking about the wedding and whatnot, Harry invites her and Mitch over for dinner sometime and she happily says yes before business is calling her so she heads out as well.
“Okay, come one, little Sunshine. Let’s get home, Rosaline will be over soon for your piano lesson,” you smile down at Izzy who throws all her coloring stuff into one of Harry’s drawers before hopping off the leather seat.
“I’ll see you in the afternoon, okay?” Harry leans down and kisses the top of her head before pressing his lips to her cheek as well.
“Bye daddy, have a good day!” she calls out, grabbing your hand as you head to the door, Harry following behind.
“Mr. Styles, you have a meeting in five with—“ one of the assistants speaks up, but Harry stops her.
“I know, tell him I’ll be down in a minute. And please call Isaac to remind him about his deadline tomorrow,” he asks in that voice again you heard yesterday when Sarah called. There’s just something so intimidating yet exciting in the way he bosses around, but not like an asshole. He is a man in power, but he surely knows how to use it for the good.
“I forgot to talk to you about the time Izzy is spending at my mum’s, please remind me to go over it with you tonight, alright?” Harry asks and you nod as the elevator’s door opens and the two of you walk in.
“Bye daddy!” Izzy waves at him.
“Bye baby, be good! Bye Y/N!” he smiles as the door starts to close.
“See you later,” you smile back before he disappears from your sight.
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The meeting with Sarah and Mitch got you buzzing, because it’s gonna be such an intimate yet beautiful wedding and those are your favorite. You can’t wait to start snapping the pictures and make their memories last forever of their big day.
You want to say thank you to Harry for suggesting you to them, so while Izzy is with Rosaline, you make a quick round to the grocery store and get everything you need to make some cupcakes, knowing well Harry loves those. He once told you that he could easily eat a dozen of those if he had the chance, so you think it’s gonna be the perfect way to thank him.
You keep the usual schedule, but after your little learning session in the afternoon, instead of heading out to the backyard to play, you suggest you bake the cupcakes together and Izzy is more than happy to help you.
It doesn’t take long for the kitchen to turn into a warzone, ingredients spilled to the counter all over the place, some music is playing in the background and you’ve been struggling to figure out how to use the different machines around the super modern kitchen.
You go all out with the decorations, you even bought some food coloring so you can make the cupcakes different colors and mess around with the icing and cream as well. You get so busy with the task on hand that time flies by faster than you expected. The two of you are still working on the decorating when the front door opens and Harry walks into the mess you’ve created in the past hours.
“What is doing on here?” he chuckles, seeing Izzy’s hair covered in flour, whipped cream on her nose and cheeks as she is throwing some sprinkles on one of the cupcakes, sitting on the kitchen island counter while you are finishing up another one.
“Oh! I wanted it to be a surprise!” you pout. “Izzy and I are making you cupcakes!”
“Why do I deserve a surprise?” he asks smirking, walking farther into the kitchen as he looks around, finding the mess quite amusing, rather than annoying. Harry knows well enough that it’s not easy to keep the place around you clean when there are kids involved in any process.
“I wanted to thank you for suggesting me to Sarah and Mitch. It was really nice of you.”
“Already told you it was nothing. Of course I suggest them a good photographer if I know one.”
You just smile at him shrugging, because no matter how hard he is trying to play it down, it meant a lot to you.
“Look daddy!” Izzy holds up her cupcake, half of it is covered with sprinkles, the other half is decorated with chocolate chips and she is clearly proud of it.
“That looks great, baby!” he smiles proudly, kissing the top of her head. “You have so much stuff on you, you could easily turn into a cupcake too,” he jokes, making her laugh.
“Be a cupcake with me, daddy!” Izzy beams and before Harry could stop her, she wipes some whipped cream to his face, getting him dirty as well. You gasp before letting out a laugh, Izzy shrieks happily seeing her dad all dressed up fancily and licking the cream off his face.
“Isabelle Styles, you have no idea what you just brought on yourself,” he warns in a low tone, already making Izzy scoot backwards as she is trying to escape, but she doesn’t have anywhere to go, the kitchen island’s edge is right behind her butt. However, she doesn’t realize it and tries to push herself back some more, deeming herself to fall right off, but before anything could happen Harry scoops her into his arms, pressing his creamy face to her cheek, making an even bigger mess that’s already there. Izzy is moving around, laughing and screaming as Harry gets some more cream to his hands, wiping it onto her anywhere he can.
“Oh my God, you are wasting all the cream!” you call him out, but it’s such a sweet moment to witness, you would never blame him for wasting it.
Harry stops attacking Izzy and turns to you with a dark look in his eyes.
“Izzy, I think Y/N looks too clean, doesn’t she?” he cocks his head to the side, exchanging a look with the girl in his arms.
“She does!” Izzy agrees as you start backing away from them. Harry sets Izzy down to her feet, grabbing the bowl with the remaining of the cream. He gets a handful for himself and lets Izzy fill her palms as well.
“Oh no, don’t you dare!” you warn them, holding up your pointing finger at them, trying to escape, but you are kind of cornered against the counter.
“It’s my house, I do whatever I want to,” he smirks, so full of himself and in a blink of the eye, they both launch themselves at you and Hell breaks loose.
They start whipping cream on you anywhere they can and when it’s gone, Harry just decides to go for anything else he can reach. Izzy is throwing sprinkles around while thanks to Harry, flour is flying everywhere, completely destroying the kitchen.
“Stop! No! I surrender!” you scream, fighting back, but it’s two against one.
“No mercy!” Harry shouts, so excited, as if he just transformed into a little boy, throwing mud around.
You grab his wrists when he tries to pour sugar on top of your head straight from the contained, holding him back, but he is so much stronger than you, it’s kind of a lost fight already. You don’t even realize how close he is, your chests are almost touching as he has you pinned against the counter, faces only about two inches away from each other. His wrist slides out of your hold, but he drops the sugar to the counter next to you. You try to snatch it to use his own weapon against him, but he is quick to stop you, forcing your hand down next to your side, but in the process he managed to bring you even closer, flushed against his hard chest and your lips part at the sudden mood change that he must be feeling as well, because the playfulness disappears from his eyes pretty fast and it’s replaced by something entirely different, something you can’t even read, because you haven’t seen it in his eyes before. And then…
Then you see his eyes flicker down to your lips, just a moment before yours move down to his. It’s that moment. It’s that exact moment when you just know you both are thinking about kissing, but you don’t know if it’s going to happen or now. You’re not even sure you want it to happen.
You fucking moron, of course you want to kiss him! That tiny voice in the back of your mind screams at you. In a heartbeat, it seems like he is about to move closer, but then the moment is interrupted and completely destroyed when a woman walks into the house, scaring you to death.
“Wow, it seems like Izzy took over control completely,” she comments, walking further into the house as you jump away from Harry, suddenly very aware of the mess you’ve made.
“Gemma, what—“ Harry starts, but he is quickly cut off.
“Don’t ask what I’m doing here, I literally texted you today that I would come by and you said it’s okay.” She gives him a look before her eyes move over to you as you’re trying to somehow clean everything up, but it’ll take a little longer probably. “You must be Y/N, hi! I’m Gemma, Harry’s sister.”
She steps over to you holding out a hand and you reach for it, but then stop, seeing that your palms are all floury. You both let out a chuckle, deciding to just move over the handshake.
“Hi, it’s nice to meet you, though it would have been better if we met when I didn’t have whipped cream in my eyes,” you joke.
“Auntie Gemma, we made cupcakes, do you want one?” Izzy runs up to her, holding up a cupcake that was finished, unlike the majority that are going to have poor decorations, since Harry and Izzy decided to use everything in the fight. Now it’s the floor that’s covered with icing, cream and sprinkles.
“Maybe later, sweetie, but they look awesome!”
As you wipe your face with a kitchen towel, you can feel Harry’s gaze on you, your heart beating so fast in your chest, it’s pushing all the blood up into your head that’s already feeling dizzy. What would have happened if Gemma didn’t walk in? Would has he kissed you? Or did you misread the situation and it was nothing just part of the game?
You busy yourself with cleaning up as Harry cleans himself a little with a paper towel before stepping closer to his sister.
“I totally forgot you texted, I replied in the middle of a meeting, I think I didn’t process the message.”
“It’s fine,” Gemma sighs. “I’m already used to my little brother forgetting about me,” she teases him, but he just rolls his eyes at her.
“Let me just help Y/N clean up the kitchen and I’ll be right with you. Would you mind cleaning Izzy off?” Harry asks her, but you stop him short.
“Oh, I’ll take care of this, don’t worry,” you assure him, but as his eyes snap over at you, you lose your voice. He clearly felt the moment as well earlier and now it’s kind of getting awkward, you don’t really want to be left alone with him right now. Not until you figure out what this whole thing was.
“Are you sure? I mean I was the one who started it and—“
“It’s fine,” you try your best to smile at him without overheating. He is standing several feet away from you, but you can still feel what it felt like to be pushed up against him.
Harry hesitates, his eyes following your every move while you are trying to busy yourself and act normal, while you are literally crumbling inside. You almost kissed your boss in the middle of his kitchen, you need a moment to process that.
“Alright, let me know if you need help,” he murmurs before picking Izzy up and heading upstairs to clean them both, Gemma following them right behind. When they are out of your sight, you lean against the counter, breathing out heavily.
Meanwhile upstairs, Harry hands Izzy his phone to play some games while he cleans her and himself off in the bathroom. Gemma sits on the edge of the tub, eyeing her brother curiously, which Harry notices.
“What?” he asks, stripping Izzy out of her dirty clothes.
“What was all that about?”
“What do you mean?”
“I saw you, Harry. You were like, ready to snog Y/N right then and there when I walked in. Did I miss something?”
“No idea what you’re talking about and I would appreciate it if you didn’t bring this up when it’s not just the two of us,” he replies firmly, looking down at the girl who is obliviously tapping on the screen. Gemma just rolls her eyes before leaving the two of them alone.
Wandering down she finds you scrubbing the counters from the mess you’ve made, deep in your thoughts. Seeing her walk in, you shoot her a smile, not sure what to say or if you even should say anything, but when she grabs a towel for herself and starts helping, you speak up.
“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.”
“Don’t be silly, I’m happy to help,” she smiles, as she starts cleaning the kitchen island up. “So how do you like working for my brother, so far? He mentioned what happened with the daycare. Honestly, those mothers are entitled spoiled brats,” she scoffs making you smile.
“They weren’t too delightful even before the whole fiasco,” you chuckle softly. “But I really like it here. There are a lot more perks and it’s so much easier to focus on one kid than to have fifteen at a time,” you point out making her laugh.
“Yeah, I’m good with my two, don’t think I could handle more.”
“Oh, you have kids?”
“Yes, two sons. Beau is turning ten this year and Jasper turned six in January.” Gemma pulls out her phone from her back pocket and unlocking it she shows you the homescreen that has a picture of two adorable boys sitting on a bench next to each other, munching on a big bowl of strawberries. The younger one, Jasper has a red sunhat on his head while Beau is rocking some cool sunglasses.
“Oh my God, they look so much like you!”
“I get that a lot and honestly, they really should!” Gemma scoffs. “It took twenty fucking hours for Jasper’s big head to come out!”
“Wow that sounds way too much,” you laugh and Gemma nods with a tired, but clearly proud smile.
“Yeah, but it was worth it. Anyway, after my two boys, Izzy is the little princess of the family.”
“The boys get along well with her?” you ask as you both keep cleaning.
“They act like her big brothers, they get so protective over her!”
“That’s cute.”
“Yeah, they really are. My mom has this summer barbeque every year, if Harry doesn’t invite you with him then I’m doing it now, because you need to see how crazy out family gets,” she smirks at you. “All of our cousins and the kids are there, it’s a whole parade.”
“I’m sure it’s a lot of fun,” you smile at her. “One of my friends in high school had a really big family and they always invited me to birthdays at their place, I loved how lively and buzzing it was always.”
“Yeah, it’s nice to get together from time to time,” she nods smiling. “So do you have a boyfriend or something?” she asks then, implying that she is not even sure if you are playing on the team she is assuming.
“Oh, um, no. It’s just me for now. So no boyfriend for me.” Your answer, making sure it gives her the information she was trying to get as well.
“Are you done interrogating her, Gem?” Harry appears from upstairs, Izzy running ahead of him before smashing herself against Gemma’s legs.
“We’re just having a chat, is that a crime now?” she rolls her eyes. “Swear to God, he is such a control freak sometimes,” she then adds turning to you.
“Would you stop offending me in my own house?” Harry gives him a look. Gemma leans down and picks Izzy up into her arms.
“Izzy, you really should tell your dad to pull the stick out of his as—“
“You are not finishing that!” Harry cuts her off and you can’t push your laughter back. Harry’s eyes meet yours over Gemma’s shoulders and he realizes that you are still all dirty and messed up. “Y/N, go and take a shower if you want. We’ll take this over, alright?”
It wasn’t an order, but you feel like it was a very firm suggestion. He is clearly uncomfortable with you talking to Gemma and though you’re not sure why, you don’t want to upset him, so just nodding you drop the kitchen towel and head upstairs to clean yourself up.
“I hope you didn’t say anything to upset her,” Harry comments as he takes over the cleaning. Gemma grimaces.
“What could have I possibly said? I was just trying to get to know her!”
“You are always a little too up in my business, Gems,” he sighs.
“Daddy, can I watch some TV, please?” Izzy asks, tugging on his pants.
“Sure. Do you need me to switch it on?”
“No, I’m a big girl, I can do it,” Izzy nods before running off, leaving the siblings alone.
“Didn’t know Y/N was your business,” Gemma tilts her head to the side. Harry opens his mouth to defend himself, but nothing comes out. He was caught with this one. “Oh my God. I knew I walked in on something, you have a thing for her!” Gemma gasps with wide eyes.
“Stop with this! You and Niall are like some middle schoolers, it’s so fucking annoying!”
“So Niall sees it too, huh?”
“Niall is an idiot,” he points out. “He is… obsessed with this idea that I should start dating again and he thinks I should make a move on Y/N.”
“Well, he is an idiot, but he has a point.”
“No he doesn’t!” Harry argues, but Gemma just rolls her eyes.
“So you want to die alone? Is that your plan?”
Harry has always hated his sister’s bluntness. She never held herself back when it came to giving her opinion, whether it was wanted or not. But what Harry hates even more is that most of the time… Gemma is right.
He doesn’t want to die alone, no one wants that, but being with someone is a hard topic for Harry after losing the person he thought he would spend the rest of his life with. Even just the thought makes him feel like he is doing something bad, like he shouldn’t even be thinking about anyone but his wife, even years after the tragedy.
“Harry, look…” Gemma breathes out leaning against the counter next to her brother. “I know it’s a fucked up situation and I know things are still not in the right place in your head. But eventually you’ll have to move on. We all want to see you happy and I think that… I think Maggie would want that for you as well.”
Harry tries not to physically cringe at the name, the familiar pain is already clutching his heart, like it has been since the day of the accident. Some days are easier, some days are harder, but Gemma is right. Things are still not in the right place in his head and he knows that, he is just not sure how to fix it at this point.
“I’m not saying you should date Y/N, I’m not Niall to force anyone on you. I’m just telling you to try to get out a little more, just to test the waters. But you obviously like her so if it happens to be her, it wouldn’t be a big deal, if you ask me.”
Gemma shrugs and goes back to the cleaning while Harry keeps his swirling thoughts to himself. Two of the most important people have told him the same thing recently and though part of him wants to stubbornly go against it, his rational side knows that they might be right.
But not much can be done when a man is still blaming himself for the death of his own wife. Because that’s exactly the case when it comes to Harry and no one really knows that the thought has been haunting him for years now…
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After taking a quick shower, washing your hair and changing into clothes that are not covered in flour, you join Harry and Gemma downstairs and insist on finishing the rest of the cleaning while they move out to the terrace to talk. The evening goes by peacefully, Harry decides to order dinner and Gemma joins the three of you at the dining table.
You love watching the dynamic between them and they truly seem to be very close. Gemma likes to embarrass Harry with stories from their childhood and you are enjoying them all a little too much maybe, but it’s nice to think that he wasn’t always this confident businessman.
“It was so good to meet you, Y/N!” Gemma hugs you goodbye after dinner.
“You too!”
“Bye Izzy, come and give a smooch for your favorite auntie!” Squatting down she lets Izzy wrap her arms around her neck as she kisses her cheek sloppily.
“Bye Gemma,” she singsongs. Harry pulls his sister into a hug as well before walking her out.
You start washing the dishes, Izzy talking to you about whatever show she was watching earlier on TV. When Harry returns he tells you to just leave the rest of the cleaning up for him while he bathes Izzy, but you don’t listen to him and finish up while they are upstairs.
Bringing your laptop down you settle on the couch and just start scrolling through social media, reading articles and whatnot, the TV quietly playing in the background. You send out an email regarding the wedding you are attending this weekend, making sure everything is in place.
When Harry emerges again he joins you on the couch with a tired sigh.
“Thanks for washing the dishes but you really should just leave it to me when I ask you to,” he smiles at you softly.
“It’s not a big deal, I like to be useful,” you chuckle shutting your laptop down.
“As if you’re not useful enough already,” he huffs smiling to himself. “Oh, before I forget, I wanted to talk to you about Izzy going to my mum’s.”
“Oh, yeah, you mentioned it earlier.”
“Yeah. So she is going to spend a week at my mother’s and I timed it to line up with Sarah and Mitch’s wedding. So I’ll leave her at my mum’s Sunday evening and pick her up the next Sunday which lines up perfectly with the wedding on Saturday. That week is obviously free for you as well, like a paid vacation,” he chuckles.
“Sounds good. How far does your mother lives from here?”
“Just a few hours, not that horrible of a drive. If you’re up for it, we can carpool to the wedding and then pick her up together right from there and head home.”
“Yeah, that works for me, thanks,” you nod.
Harry stays and turns his attention on the TV, seemingly pretty unbothered while you still haven’t stopped thinking about what happened in the kitchen earlier. Glancing over at Harry it appears that it’s not that big of a deal for him, so it makes you settle with the thought that it’s not one for you either.
“Good night, Harry,” you smile at him grabbing your laptop and phone as you rise from your seat.
“Nigh, Y/N,” he smiles as you round the couch and head upstairs, but you stop at the bottom of the stairs, lancing back at the mop of locks that’s visible from him from behind. You watch him run his fingers through his hair and you let out a shaky breath, knowing well you did not convince yourself that it was nothing. Not for you, at least.
Because you wanted him to kiss you.
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The wedding you’re attending is held on a farm owned by the parents of the bride. The whole barn was transformed into this very country like fairytale location, lots of fairy lights and candles along with some nice, pastel colored flowers with a hint of purple between them.
Everything goes planned. Arriving you meet first with the groom and then with the bride in their separated rooms of the house, going over everything they want just one last time before you get down to work, snapping loads of pictures from them getting ready for the big day.
Emily, the bride is a chatty girl and all her bridesmaids are her sisters, coming from a big family with five daughters, she is the second oldest. The groom, Jesse is a few years older than Emily, but they are such a cute couple and they are clearly so madly in love, it’s always nice to see people be so happy with the right person.
You keep going back and forth between the groom and the bride and later you do the first look thing as well, when Jesse stands outside in the field and Emily walks up behind him, letting him see her for the first time. It really is always such a special moment and you tear up as well, watching Jesse fall speechless upon seeing his beautiful fiancé.
As the ceremony is about to start and the guests slowly take their seats on the two sides of the aisle, you make a quick trip down there to make sure you are using the right lenses, not wanting to change a lot when the ceremony has started. You stop in the corner, just trying out if you can shoot some pictures of the guests as well with the lens you are planning to use, you take a look around using the camera and that’s when you almost faint.
You would pick out that face from any, it has grown to you way too much, but you didn’t think you’d ever see him again. Lowering the camera you stare at the tall figure with parted lips, blinking a few times just to make sure it’s who you think it is.
But it is in fact your ex-fiancé, Keith, and to make it even worse, the woman standing next to him with his arm around her waist is the one he cheated on you with. They are still together and now you are staring right at them.
Tears sting your eyes as you try to look for a way to escape before he spots you, though you know he’ll see you sooner or later, but right now they are standing right at the entrance of the barn and you can’t avoid walking past them.
Keeping your head down you try to stay unnoticed as you march towards the exit, but you apparently, you are out of luck.
“Y/N? Is that you?” Keith calls after you just when you thought you were successful in sneaking out. Stopping in your tracks you seriously think about just running off, pretending like you didn’t even hear him, but it’s kind of too late and it would be ridiculous. So turning around on your heels, you plaster the fakest smile on your lips as you look at him.
“Keith, hi!” you breathe out, taking just a few steps closer to him, still keeping some distance between the two of you. Stella, the lucky woman on his arm blinks at you and at first you’re not even sure she realizes who you are or if she even knows you. The longer she looks at you the more certain you become that she indeed does not know that you’re the woman Keith cheated on with her. Nice.
Keith realizes that the two of you have been staring at each other awkwardly, so clearing his throat he quickly introduces the two of you to each other.
“Um, Y/N, this is Stella. Stella, this is… Y/N.”
You can tell he was thinking about using titles, but he decided to leave it at that, though it would have been a lot more interesting if he just titled the two of you.
Y/N, this is the woman I cheated on you with, who is my girlfriend now. Stella, this is Y/N, to whom I was engaged when I was fucking you!
You flash her a quick, not too honest smile and it seems like she is catching onto that something is not right, but she can’t tell for sure.
“What are you doing here?” Keith asks, a little harsher than you would have liked him to talk to you, but it’s kind of understandable. Seeing each other after what happened is not a pleasant experience for either of you, you assume. You hold up the camera as the answer for the stupid question and Keith furrows his eyebrows at you. “Oh, you still to the photography thingy?”
“Thingy?” you ask, quite offended. Keith always belittled your love for photography. He thought it was just a hobby, something that should stay just a hobby and not get turned into anything more. He once told you during a fight that it takes your time away from more important things, like doing chores. That was one of the most sexist things he has ever said to you and you should have packed your stuff right then and there. But you didn’t, stuck around for three more months before you found out about the cheating.
“Well, this thingy is kind of a side job for me,” you inform him.
“Oh. That sounds… fun,” he nods, but it’s clearer than daylight that he thinks it’s just a waste of time. Good thing he has no business in anything about you anymore.
“Um, I’m gonna go now, but I guess see you two around.” You shoot them another fake smile before turning around and walking away from this conversation straight from Hell.
Marching away from the barn you rush into the nearest bathroom you can find. You need a minute. Or maybe two… five. This did not just happen. You didn’t just face your cheating ex-fiancé with the woman he cheated on you, what kind of sick movie plot is this you found yourself in?
Placing your camera to the counter near the sink you wash your hands and sprinkle some water to your face as well before you lean to the edge of the sink, staring at your reflection in the mirror. You look like you’ve just seen a ghost and quite frankly, you would have been happier with the ghost than with Keith and Stella.
You’ve been doing alright since the breakup, but it’s obvious that only because you didn’t have to see Keith. Following the blowup when you found the explicit texts in his phone, you only had to face him twice and never since then. It’s easier to be okay when you don’t have to look at the person who hurt you most all the time, but coming face to face with him now really threw you off, especially with Stella on his arm. The fucker did not only cheat on you with her, but he went straight into a relationship with her and she probably doesn’t even know that she was just the sidechick in the beginning. If you were really evil, you’d go up to her and enlighten her about who you really are, but you are not one to cause a scene. Keith kept the two of you apart consciously, he never let you go into his office because he wanted Stella to think that he is a single man while he was engaged. Sickening to think how slyly he played the both of you and even after his little plan failed, he kept lying to the poor girl and lured her into a relationship. You wonder if he is already fucking another girl behind her back.
Your fingers start to turn white, gripping the edge of the sink tightly so you loosen up a bit, shaking your arms and shoulders off to pull yourself together. You fix your makeup and run your fingers through your hair quickly to give it some volume before grabbing the camera from the counter and heading out. However shocking it is to be at the same place as Keith again, you have a job to do right now and the bride and groom are expecting some amazing photos and that’s exactly what you’re gonna deliver.
You manage to busy yourself to the point where you are able to forget about Keith’s existence for most of the time. Following the happy couple around you don’t get too much free time, the camera is glued in front of your face basically and it brings you some peace. For a while.
Emily and Jesse disappear for an outfit change and it gives you a short break since they didn’t want that to be photographed, only when they return. So you get yourself a virgin cocktail from the bar and head outside to get some fresh air. You text back Heather and Trevor and then just scroll through Instagram, enjoying some alone time from the buzzing you’ve been around all day.
“Y/N!”
Turning to your right you spot Keith walking towards you, this time alone, but it doesn’t stop you from rolling your eyes.
“What do you want?” you mumble under your breath.
“Just… though we could chat for a little. It’s been a long time.”
“Not enough,” you retort. “And I would like to skip the chatting.”
“Come on, you can’t be still that mad at me,” he chuckles and you almost punch him in the face right then and there.
“Well I am. So go back to your little girlfriend and leave me alone.”
“I know things didn’t end too well, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be civil towards each other.” You can’t help the laughter that bubbles from your throat. He can’t be serious, trying to act like the bigger person now after everything he has done to you. This has got to be a joke.
“This is me being civil, because I’m not throwing anything at you. So leave me the fuck alone, let me do my job and then we hopefully don’t see each other again.”
“Come on. You don’t miss me, baby?” he smirks at you, completely ignoring what you just told him. You physically cringe at the pet name he just called you and you take a step away from him, needing the distance more than ever.
“I don’t. Now leave.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Too fucking bad. Now leave!” you raise your voice, but it does nothing. He is still standing there, looking at you like he didn’t completely destroy you just about a year ago.
“Heard that you haven’t dated anyone since we broke up.”
“Are you asking around after me?” you scowl.
“We have a few mutual friends,” he shrugs. “Is it because you still want me?”
“My dating life is none of your business, Keith. And I don’t want you. Quite frankly, I don’t even know how I could ever want you, so now please let me enjoy my break and leave me alone.”
“Y/N, I just—“ Keith reaches for your hand, but you pull back before he could touch you, holding up a finger at him you start talking slowly and very clearly so the message goes through.
“Don’t ever fucking touch me or talk to me. I want nothing to do with you, you’re a manipulating, cheating, egoistic asshole who ruins the life of others. I’m telling you this for the last time, Keith: leave me the fuck alone.”
He looks a bit stunned at your harsh response, but you couldn’t care less if you’ve hurt him. He did way worse things to you than snapping at you. As you walk past him to head back into the barn, he doesn’t let the chance to punch you in the stomach with his words one last time.
“I wish I could say you were a good fuck, but that wouldn’t be true. Good luck finding some lowlife loser who would even think about marrying you!”
Every fiber in your body is screaming to launch yourself at him and punch him until he is unconscious, because that’s exactly what he deserves. The tears are already stinging your eyes, but you don’t give him the satisfaction to see you react to his words. So swallowing hard you just keep on walking until you are out of his sight, bottling up the sobs and tears for the time when you’re home and on your own.
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It’s past two am when you arrive home, drained and exhausted, both emotionally and exhausted. Following the conversation you had wit Keith he didn’t try to talk to you anymore, but you could always feel his eyes on you, wherever you were, as if he wanted to see if you are watching him too, but you weren’t. Looking at him would have been too painful so you tried your best to keep your eyes away from him through the night.
You know damn well that what he told you when you were leaving was just to get a reaction out of you, to get you upset enough to start a fight with him, it��s just who he is, he enjoys having the last word and the higher ground in every situation, but you didn’t want to be his partner in his stupid games this time. However it still hurt, what he said.
Walking into the dead silent house you kick your shoes off, drop your keys into the little bowl next to the door and head to the kitchen to get yourself some water. Pouring yourself a glass you lean against the counter and as you stare ahead of you, nothing can stop the tears from falling.
Everything you kept bottled up during the afternoon and evening just hits you all at once, making you break down heavier than any time in the past months. You sob and cry, letting it all out until your head feels like exploding, but you still can’t stop. You were not ready to face the man that broke your heart like no one before.
In the middle of your breakdown you don’t even realize the footsteps coming from the stairs.
“Y/N?” Harry’s voice calls out, snapping you out of your pity party. He immediately sees that you’ve been crying like a baby, no doubt, but you still try to wipe your cheeks and eyes, pretending like everything is totally fine.
“Harry! What are you doing up so late?” you breathe out hoarsely.
“Just wanted to get some water, but have you been crying? What happened, are you alright?” he starts bombarding you with questions, clearly worried about you, seeing you in this state.
“Everything is fine, I just… had a rough night,” you chuckle through your tears that are still rolling down your cheeks, those bastards!
“A rough night doesn’t make you sob like this. What happened?” Rounding the kitchen island he stops in front of you, not sure how to approach the situation, but it’s kind of sweet how he wants to help, but doesn’t know how.
“I, uhh—I met my… ex-fiancé tonight. He was at the wedding I worked at,” you mumble shutting your eyes closed.
“Did he hurt you? Y/N, if he laid a hand on you, I swear—“ “No, he didn’t hurt me,” you shake your head before adding: “Well, not physically.”
“Come on, let’s sit down for a bit.” He gently takes your hand and pulls you to the couch in the living room, making you sit before he plops down next to you. “Tell me what happened.”
“It’s really stupid, I shouldn’t be this upset about it, but I just… It hurt and I can’t change it,” you whine, wiping some more tears away.
“I’m sure it’s not stupid. Tell me what happened!”
“He was there with the woman he cheated on me with. They are basically a couple now, but she doesn’t even know that Keith was engaged to me when they started dating, so it’s really fucked up. And it wouldn’t have been that big of a deal, because, you know, fuck him, he can do whatever he wants, it’s not my business anymore, but then he came up to me and tried to chitchat with me, which I didn’t really want, of course.”
Harry listens carefully, giving you his undivided attention while you fumble with the hem of your shirt, kind of avoiding to look him in the eyes. Part of you is afraid you’d see judgment in them and you don’t think you would be able to handle that.
“I asked him to leave me alone, but he just kept talking and then I snapped at him a little harsher and when I was walking away he…”
You scowl again, hearing his words play in your head so clearly, as if he was standing behind you, repeating them to you. Harry reaches out and he gently covers your hand with his warm palm, giving it a gentle squeeze, letting you know that he is patiently waiting, not rushing you to talk. Taking a deep breath you blink your tears away before continuing.
“He basically said that I wasn’t even a good fuck and no man will want to marry me.”
“Jesus fuck, what kind of asshole did you date, Y/N?” Harry snaps in horror and it’s kinda funny, makes you laugh through your tears.
“Seems like the worst kind,” you mumble with a bitter chuckle. “I know I shouldn’t have let his words get to my head, but… it’s easier said than done. I feel like such a loser,” you breathe out, your lips trembling as the tears are threatening to flow again.
“Don’t blame yourself for having feelings, it’s completely normal. Of course his words hurt, he once meant a lot to you and he probably knows that too, that’s why he tried to use it against you. What he said held no truth.”
“You think so?” you ask, voice barely more than just a whisper as you finally look at him. His green irises appear so warm as he smiles at you, squeezing your hand again. He scoots a little closer, his knee bumping against the side of your thigh.
“Y/N, I know so,” he chuckles. “That guy was a proper idiot for what he did to you. You didn’t deserve any of that and any many would be lucky to have you as their wife.”
“Really?” you pout, feeling so touched and loved from his words. It’s exactly the reassurance you needed.
“Absolutely,” he nods smiling sweetly.
Everything that happened today messed with your head big time. And now sitting with Harry on the couch, listening to him telling you how worthy you are of love and happiness, it completely throws you off. Ever since that moment in the kitchen before Gemma walked in, you’ve been nonstop thinking about what would have happened and it made you notice even the tiniest things about him.
Harry Styles is a man who is clearly a sight for the eyes, with his chiseled jawline, pink lips and gorgeous green eyes, the duality of his powerful and business appropriate attires he wears during the day and the tattoos hidden under his dress shirts, you’d have to be blind to say that he is not an attractive man. But on top of everything on the outside, he is a wonderful person on the inside and it twists your head more than you’d like it.
Your brain switches off for a moment, or just the rational side, but you completely stop thinking as you stare at each other. The intimacy and emotionality of the moment pushes all your common sense to the side as your gaze wanders down his lips.
The thought of kissing him comes fast and before you could even stop yourself, you move forward and press your lips to his. The touch of his lips against yours is sweet and warm and kind of intoxicating, but in just a blink of the eye your rationality gets a grip of you and your eyes pop open in realization of what you just did. Pulling back you gasp and cover your mouth in shock, feeling your whole inside trembling at the thought of getting yourself fired by this move.
Harry seems frozen and quite shocked as well, his lips are parted as he stays still in his spot.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, I-I don’t know what’s gotten into me! Harry, I’m sorry, I promise—“
You start rambling in panic, but you don’t get to finish. Harry moves forward, his hand coming to the back of your head as he pulls you in for another kiss, this time making it a lot more passionate and even your tongues get involved. He is kissing you hard and you almost moan into his mouth when you feel his other hand come to your thigh, squeezing it just enough to send a shockwave up your spine. Your hands come up to the back of his hair and you hold onto him for dear life, carrying the kiss on like you’re two teenagers in your parents’ basement, doomed to get caught any moment. Harry goes in again and again, tugging on your bottom lip, licking into your mouth and making your insides twist just from having his lips on yours.
And then you both let go of each other, needing some time to breathe and you slowly realize what just happened. You both stare at each other in disbelief, completely shocked at your own actions, but neither of you have any idea what should happen next.
You let go of each other, sitting back to your normal positions, awkwardly breathing heavily and you realize you cannot deal with this right now. You are way too drained and tired to make it make sense so you decide to just… call it a night.
“I’ll head to bed,” you quietly inform him as you stand up from the couch, walking like a zombie, the shock still clouding your judgment.
“Good night,” Harry mumbles, just as confused as you are.
“Good night,” you nod and basically sprint up the stairs and don’t stop until you shut your door behind you.
Leaning your back against it, you slide down to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest as you stare into the darkness for long minutes. Quite some time passes by before you hear Harry walk upstairs, his door opens and then closes before silence falls on the house again. With a blank mind, you push yourself up, take a quick shower and just go to bed, ignoring everything that has happened today. You’ll deal with it in the morning.
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gb-patch · 3 years
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Ask Answers: July 10th
I really let asks get away from me lately. I was super focused on working on that Patreon Moment. With that done I can finally think about doing other things, so here’s a new collection of answers!
Thank you for sending in questions everyone ^^.
For the new Patreon moment, will you be able to reference it in step 4? Or just like a tiny nod to it if you pick certain choices?
There won’t be. I’m sorry if you were hoping for that! The Patreon moment is meant to be entirely optional, it’s not something that gets you extra content in the main game.
Is the new CG artist the main one now? :0 I’ve noticed theres been a difference in the art style recently. Is the old CG artist still going to make art for the game? :0
The original artist still makes CGs for the game sometimes, but he mainly focuses on character sprites.
Are you going to put the NSFW our life moment on a website other than patreon? I would love to get it but I can't use patreon atm.
I don’t know. I'm afraid we can't release the Patreon Moment on a normal game storefront because we can't mix 18+ content with our family friendly game. If there's some other place similar to Patreon where it's not the normal type of full-scale public content releases we'd consider using that, but I’m not sure if there is another site that’s better than Patreon in that regard. I'm sorry.
Out of curiosity, in all of your games so far, which characters in each were the most fun to write? They obviously don't have to be your favorite characters!
Buffalo Seer in AFA, really everyone in XOD/XOBD is pretty equally entertaining to write, The Guide in LoV, and Cove in OL!
idk if you accept "personal" questions, but is there anything you've been watching/ listening to lately
Mostly, I’ve been watching/listening to Authortube videos as of late! It’s people who talk generally about the process of how books become traditionally published and/or share their own experience as they attempt to be published. I don’t have an interest in writing normal text based books, but it’s really interesting to hear about that world. I’m listening to a video about royalties right now as I answer these asks.
Will one of the desserts we get to pick be fudge? That'd be such a cute reference! 
Haha, yeah, it should. Unless I completely blank on it and forget when trying to include the various referential food options.
I don't know if this has been asked previously but what would be the approximate heights for the presets MC can choose from Step 2 ~ 4? Are there any measurement you had in mind? Sorry if I didn't make myself clear kk I've been struggling with my English lately 💀 
I don’t know, ahah. I didn’t have any numbers in mind for that. So it’s whatever you imagine it is!
I noticed a bug with the Patreon moment when it comes to what your character wears. When Jamie and Cove are kissing while my character only had dresses selected, I had both the option to remove the dress or to remove the shirt... Picking one of the options to interact with Cove, after he removed his shirt, it had Jamie remove their shirt followed by ther pants despite only having dresses picked. 
Thank you for reporting ^^
I keep refreshing steam to see when the new doc for xobd will be released. I noticed you haven't posted anything about it in quite some time. Would it be possible to ask about a timeline/potential date? (If it's even this year—) I know you and your team are probably working super hard, I'm just super curious! ~Thank you!~ 
There are more stories done, I just haven’t gotten around to publicly releasing them. Hopefully I will have a chance to spend the time on that sooner rather than later!
hello!! i’m not sure if it’s an update but i’ve just replayed our life and at the end i can’t propose to cove anymore? :(( i’ve actually tried playing twice but the options are not there anymore, did you guys remove the options? i’m sorry if you’ve answered this before!! thank you and have a good one :) 
I’m afraid things haven’t been changed or removed, so I think you might’ve accidentally picked the wrong things somewhere along the way and locked yourself out of being able to propose by mistake. Sometimes you meant to say you want to get married but instead you mis-click and have it so the MC isn’t thinking about marriage or something. All I can suggest is starting from the beginning of Step 3 and making sure to follow the steps listed in the FAQ. I’m sorry for that.
Did yall remove some of the options for when youre making out with Cove in the charity moment? I could've sworn you could grab his bonkadonk and its not there anymore 
This is the same situation as the above. We didn’t remove things and you’re not wrong that there are sometimes those options. But there are various choices you have to make to get those options and it sounds like you accidentally missed something. If your relationship isn’t long-term, you can’t do it for example.
HI IM SO EXCITED I CAN FINALLY GET THE STEP 3 DLC 
Thank you for getting it!
Is Shiloh super totally straight bc I’m very gay and a huge Shiloh fan, would my man make an exception?😩
Sadly, he is one of our super straight characters. I’m sorry.
Hi, I have a very dumb question. In Step 2 does Cove not wanna share his drink with us at the mall (or rather why he stops drinking it) because it's an indirect kiss? Or is it like ...weird to him to share? Because if I remember right he eats off our spoon in the birthday scene right? 
Yeah, he’s awkward about it because he likes the MC and it feels very personal to share a straw with his crush.
Hi! If you don't mind me asking, who is the artist for OL2? Their style is so pretty! 
Thank you for saying so! This is her Twitter- https://twitter.com/redridingheart
Do Beginnings & Always and Now & Forever exist in the same universe? 
Yep! XOXO Droplets also exists in the same universe. It’s one big GB Patch world, haha.
Do Pran's parents regret the way they raised him? Do they feel ashamed of it?
No. They’re the type of people best cut out because they’re not gonna change. Which is why Pran does go very limited contact when he’s an adult.
Hi! I just wrapped up my second playthrough of Our Life, and I absolutely adore it, but I had a question. I went to the gallery and found I was missing 2 CGS (specifically Step 1-3 and 2-3) and I had no clue where they would've shown up. Which moments are those found in? 
You get it by telling Cove about his dad offering you money to be his friend in Step 1 and Step 2. You can’t get both in one playthrough, since you can only tell Cove the truth once. I’m really glad you liked it!
Hi hi! Please, how tall is Baxter and Derek? Love the game so much and I can't wait to see more! 
I don’t know, aha. I think Baxter was around 5′10 and Derek was like 5′8/5′9, maybe. I really am not one who has specific heights for things in mind.
is adult cove a bottom, top, or switch? 
A switch, though would choose the top if he had to pick.
I was wondering if there is a way to transfer save data? Even if through the game files. I wanted to be able to transfer my save data from my desktop over to my laptop so that I could continue playing right where I left off from but I'm not entirely sure how to go about that. 
If you save the save folder/persistent data of the game from your desktop and put it into the game folder on your other device, that could work.
Hi! Is it possible for us to know the date when our life: now and forever comes out on steam? Sorry if you've mentioned it before but I haven't seen it and I'm looking foward to that happening and just wanted to know :) 
It’s gonna be a long time, I’m afraid. There’s no estimate right now.
I started playing Our Life with my sister a while ago, and I think you guys should know that we discovered your secret. >:)
L from death note and Cove are clearly the same person, and this whole game is just an origin story!!
I’ve never seen that show so I’m sorry to say I don’t understand the connection/reference you’re trying to make. I’m pretty out of the loop when it comes to media. I don’t watch movies or TV.
Will OL2 have options for disabled MCs?
I understand if it's too complicated, just curious
Unfortunately, it’s not really something we have a plan for. We couldn’t finish the game if we tried to include every disability and have it be meaningful. It’d just be too much content to create. But if we decide to only include a few, how would we choose which disabilities get to be represented and which are left out? I don’t know. It’ll probably have to be something we don’t include as an option again, sadly. I’m sorry.
playing our life > anything else 
Haha, I’m glad you’re enjoying it.
Honestly, I would like to thank Our Life for helping me come to terms with my sexuality. Before, I never would've actually thought that it was possible to like boys romantically and still be asexual. Almost all of the BL visual novels I've read had unskippable sexual content in them and it honestly just didn't click with what I feel. I'm glad I found Our Life. I love the game, the developers, and this fandom so much. Now, I can safely come out as homoromantic AND asexual (at least anonymously here anyway; my parents are still huge homophobes 😂). 
Aw, it’s great to hear you felt comfortable being yourself in the game! That’s wonderful. I’m really sorry about your parents, though.
Will the demo for OL2 be on android? Really not sure if I could wait any longer than I have to aha 
Yeah, it’ll be available for Android once we eventually release a demo!
Do all these reveals perhaps mean development is progressing ahead of schedule? Please let that be the case I'm already obsessed with Qiu 
No, sorry, aha. Art comes along much faster than script/programming-work for us. It’s gonna be a long time before the game is a finished thing you can actually play. But at least we can look at the beautiful images.
Hey! First of all I wanna say I reallllllyyyyy loooovvveeee Our Life and XOXO Droplets! I have over 300 hours of playtime on Our Life… Anyways, I was just wondering, are the Derek and Baxter DLCs going to come out at the same time? If not, which one do you plan to release first? :3 
They will come out separately and Derek will be first! Glad you like the game.
I keep replaying Our Life to get every possible iteration and I am loving it <3 I was wondering if Cove gets locked out of his confession because MC was talking to Lee, would it be possible to confess to him in step 4? 
Yeah, you can avoid the confession in Step 3 and then get it in Step 4.
Hi, my Cove wears bracelets through step 2 and 3 but I still don't get an option to give him a bracelet? I didn't even know that was possible until I seen someone else ask about it lol 
Hm, did you use the Cove creator? Maybe there’s a bug where using the creator to add bracelets doesn’t fulfill the requirement to give Cove a bracelet in Step 3.
Wait, I'm dense, when does Baxter appear in step 2? Is it from big park firework? I feel so bad since i really love Baxter and waiting to buy his dlc. 
It’s in the Soiree Moment. You have to be just friends with Cove, indifferent, or crushing but not ask Cove to the dance at all. Then while there you can find someone new to dance with. But if you bring Cove to the dance while crushing, the MC won’t wanna dance with anyone else so you can’t get the scene.
In step 2 when we go to the soiree I made my mc go alone and baxter chooses the mc to dance, i'm curious, why did he pick the mc? sorry if this has been asked before! 
Because the MC looked to be around his age, seemed to also be searching for a partner, and had nice legs. A perfect option for him.
I read some of the FAQs, and I saw that we could tell Baxter about the condo that he rented there was previously the mean old grandparents. how do we get the mc to tell him that? 
It happens in the DLC Moment “Late Shift”. If you don’t have a job you instead get a longer scene with Baxter.
I don’t know if you’ve addressed this or not, but are you planning on paying voice actors for our life: now and forever? 
Yeah, we pay our VAs in all our projects.
hey can i ask how you did the moments thing in ol? im trying to get into making visual novels and while im VERY sure its out of my comfort zone and all that atm i kinda wanna know just for the future, bc im p sure it would work well for something i wanna do :O but its also fine if you cant say for other reasons :> 
I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean. Are you asking how we programmed the screen or something script related? Adding Moments like that is pretty straightforward, though. You just have buttons that open to different labels and then the scripts are essentially individual short stories/vignettes. Good luck with your VN!
Since Autumn becomes gender fluid later in the game, will there be a character who remains as he/him to romance in game? 
OL1 has the he/him LIs, OL2 is all about other genders.
I don't want to impose on your creative plans, but a parrot could possibly make a good pet in an OL-type game? They're pretty long-lived and likely to still be thriving by the end even if the MC got them back in step 1. 
I do appreciate the suggestion, but I’m afraid it’s not likely going to happen. I understand there are technically some animals that could theoretically live long enough to last the whole game that or we could have the MC only get a pet after some years have already passed. But the many things that would have to be considered/accommodated for makes it just something we probably can’t manage adding. I’m sorry.
As time passes will we be able to see Qiu and Tamarack's other stage arts as well?
They are both so cute i can't wait to be friends with them!
Yeah, we’ll show content from other Steps in the future. It’ll be a little while from now, though.
Can you date Cove and still have your family comfort you in the car?
You can’t get Cove’s Step 3 confession scene if you have the family comfort you in the car. But that’s not the only way to date him. You can get together with him earlier in the game or later on in Step 4.
Is Mc always going to be the one walking down the aisle or could Cove do it? Also could you choose to have one of your moms walk you? 
No. Cove wouldn’t want to walk down the aisle like that and the MC automatically respects that. And the MC also gets to have their preferences respected, so it’s up to you whether they want to do an aisle walk or not. You also can pick who, if anyone, walks with you.
Once step 4 is out, will you be able to go the whole game on crush/love without either of you confessing? 
Yes, as long as you tell the game you don’t want to progress the relationship. Even in Step 4 it won’t force you to officially get together.
Howdy, so in Step 4, there will be any Romance with Derek that is not part of any dlc? 
He’s only a friend unless you get his romance story.
Will the step 4 in OL2 be one big step or are you considering moments? 
Step 4 is just an epilogue in both games.
hi kind of a weird question but!! we know tht cliff doesn't start dating again but. wht abt flings? like does he ever do 1 night stands or anything? thank u!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Nope. Cliff has a very small interest in sex. If he’s not in a real relationship with a partner he’s crazy about it simply isn’t something he feels a need for, so one night stands wouldn’t even cross his mind.
sorry if you've already answered this, but i was wondering if there were plans for there to be bonus love interests in OL2 like how we have derek and baxter in OL1.
Maybe! There are side characters who could be given romance stories, but whether or not it will happen depends on funding and how long everything else takes to finish.
I don't know if i'm allowed to ask about ol2 here yet, if not u can ignore this or answer it later. My question is can you date one of them and be good friends with the other? I don't want to be strangers with the other bcs i love them both a lot :<
Yes you can!
what patreon level do i have to be to unlock the nsfw moment? im on the $5 one right now, will that give me access to the moment, or just access to the moment progress? 
That’ll give you access! Tier 2 and anything higher allows the player to download it.
158 notes · View notes
probably-haven · 3 years
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after binge reading i have come to a new revelation: I’m not a fan of most Xiaoven fanfics
Don’t get me wrong, I love the ship and its one of my favorite to think about.... but most of the fanfiction for the ship just- doesn’t sit right with me for a number of reasons. 
Disclaimer: these are personal opinions from my own taste and are in no way an attack against any authors out there, because frankly fanfic authors are great and not like i could do better lol. As these are personal opinions, I acknowledge here and now that a number of people disagree and that they are under no obligation to change their opinions in any way as it is not and never will be my intention to tell others what they should be thinking That said- read at your own risk if you want- meh, anyway-
time to share some opinions that have been on my mind lately
The biggest reason.... is how they handle Xiao. And I don’t even mean mischaracterization because Xiao is such a complex and yet simultaneously simple character that as long as you’re somewhere in the range of “Xiao vibes” it’s really hard to write him out of character because of his complexities. What I mean is something that i actually completely agree with as being accurate to his character. In nearly every single fanfic I’ve seen, there is some element of idolization that Xiao has for Venti, or for the sake of reference, Barbatos. He tends to think himself beneath Barbatos and/or indebted to him, whether that be because he’s an archon, because he saved him, or simply because of Xiao’s tendency to dehumanize(yes i see the irony in that word usage) himself.  This by itself isn’t an issue but its often how this trait of his is treated.
Imma just list a few ways I’ve seen this be handled within Xiaoven fics. - It isn’t handled, it’s just there and accepted as a part of who he is in the story - It isn’t handled but his trait is treated as source of humor within the story - Venti(and others) roll with it (finding humor in it, just cant change it, encouraging it, making jokes about it, etc.) - Venti takes advantage of it(whether accidentally or purposely) - it’s actually addressed(by Venti or someone else or the narration- can go a number of ways, but just- even a brief reference to the fact that its not a good mindset fits in here) - savior!Venti(Where venti disagrees with it but the way it’s written gives off “god among mortals” vibes- like he’s just being humble and truly is above him in reality) - its the focus of the story  - not directly addressed but shown to be destructive.  - they chose not to not include this in the story’s characterization of Xiao(just saying that this is valid ahead of time) Theres others but i have a lot already.  Note that I tend to read more ‘serious-toned’(idk if that makes sense) fics so that may skew my perception
Now there’s a few that i have issues with on their own- both instances of it not being handled, Venti(and others) rolling with it, Venti takes advantage of it(purposely(and without good intent)), and savior!Venti. Xiao not only has this trait, but he is unfamiliar with what is normal in relationships or emotions as a result of isolation and inexperience. He is also either not aware of or not concerned with what is considered strictly “healthy.” Combining these makes for a rather dangerous combination and just accepting it as “oh he’s just like that, it’s who he is” or making it out to be something funny- It’s not wrong or bad by any means necessarily, and I could still possibly enjoy it to an extent depending on a series of different factors, but its- not as often.  Even in the case where I do enjoy reading it however, I would still feel uncomfortable sharing it with or recommending it to others because in the first instance it feels like normalizing a destructive and dangerous mindset, and in the second case it does the same while simultaneously making a joke of it. It’s the same deal with Venti or other characters rolling with it, but that’s probably gonna be mentioned later too. Not to say that this is a “wrong” way to handle it, that it makes the fic bad, or that authors even are normalizing anything by doing so, just that in my specific instance- not a fan. 
I’ll get to the others when i talk more about Venti, but for now: It’s the focus of the story. I think I saw like... 2? where the story was like- focused on this and why its a problem which- power to them, address those real world problems like a boss- but also i wouldn’t actively seek it out or anything- like, good job, but doing so just leaves it open neutrally for other factors to decide how good a story i think it is. 
not directly addressed but shown to be destructive. You’d think i wouldn’t like this- but frankly in fanfiction not everyone wants to address every character flaw verbally because it can through off story, narration, dialogue, and general flow to do so. This can be with an event, an action, a dialogue, a mere comment, making it actually fit into the it’s actually addressed category except that its- subtle enough to make its own category. plus i live for show not tell- in everything- its a thing. im- very much a fan of when the fics do this but the subtlety is easy to miss and its not common so- 
It’s actually adressed- doesnt have to be a lot- just mention anywhere or imply anywhere that maybe idolizing someone as a god and savior and being in a relationship with them while having little knowledge of standards, emotions, relationships, or healthy behaviors in general- maybe isnt the smartest idea in the word. (”Call me Venti, not Barbatos” by itself is not enough to fit in this category tho as a note)
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Now lets talk about Venti...
uh.... those who have followed me for awhile will probably already know this but... I have a lot of opinions on Venti and a pretty- “niche(?)” perception of his characterization that isn’t shared by a lot of others- so I don’t actually read as much Venti fanfic in general as you might expect because I often end up disagreeing with how writers portray him, which again, in no way is their characterization wrong, but- “their perceived truth” conflicts with “my perceived truth” and by extent so does the characterization, though neither is any more correct than the other from an objective point of view, if that makes sense... but anyways now that that’s said, moving on before this becomes a philosophy lecture, as fun as that would be for me.  I’ll try to keep my “perceived truth” out of this for the first bit. 
Venti’s response to this: 
He rolls with it: this depends on the mood of the fanfiction. If they dont put a lot of stress on that trait of Xiao’s it totally fine but if the trait seems to be a major part of Xiao’s character, it seems like normalization once more. (more on this later)
he takes advantage of it purposely: if its an AU or something and Venti’s like a villain(i saw a few) then- villain venti isnt my cup of tea but i have no qualms. If they don’t portray Venti in a negative light while having him take advantage however that’s a bit uncomfortable to read for me because it feels like normalizing taking advantage of that mindset as well as the mindset itself. However, i did see a number of instances of Venti using it as leverage for like- self care- which i definitely have no qualms. Xiao: [insert probably destructive idolizing statement about being indebt] Venti: How bout you pay me back by actually sleeping for once smh or other variations are okay and depending on the vibe are actually a really fun dynamic as long as it doesnt turn into romanticizing or normalizing it, y’know?
Venti accidentally taking advantage of it.... I love angst- and in most of these theres a sense of guilt when he realizes- and i just think thats a lovely way of addressing the dangers of such a mindset for both sides. As long as it doesn’t keep repeating to the point of romanticization its totally cool to read in my eyes(not irl ofc). If Venti never realizes he accidentally took or is taking advantage it feels a bit like normalization, and if he does but just- doesn’t care thats- a rip.
savior!Venti...... i- i hate. the story giving off vibes that Xiao’s mindset is technically correct while Venti oh so humbly tells him to treat him as an equal like the wonderful and charitable person he is.... i just- no. of course thats over dramatizing it- I think the main thing that gives it this vibe is when Venti doesn’t seem either concerned, surprised, uncomfortable, or otherwise have a negative feeling towards Xiao’s mindset. Just- it makes the whole thing weird in my eyes when Venti doesnt really seem to have his own reason to oppose the mindset idk- 
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fact time!
Venti is the god of freedom. His backstory is freeing Mondstadt from a god’s tyrannical reign. His origin is a windsprite, just another breeze bringing changes for the better. His form is a nameless boy who played an instrument and then died, thus failing at his only dream and only ever accomplishing anything because of the help of others. He slept for a thousand years after the archon war to avoid putting Mond under the rule of yet another tyrannical god. He only even became a god because Andrius chose to let him. He wouldn’t have even had that chance if the nameless bard had survived, he’d remain just another wind while his friend ascended to godhood. Venti sacrifices his own power for his people’s freedom. 
now that I’ve laid out a number of canon facts, time for opinions:
Venti has little to no desire to be seen as a god. He thrives in, comes from, and emphasizes a lack of superiority in quite nearly everything. The first Ragnvindir, who canonically turned his back on Venti after Decarabian’s fall, likely did so because one- he anticipated power would corrupt and Venti would soon become just another tyrannical god, two- he suspected Venti used the nameless bard in an attempt to rise to godhood, or three- idk insert other possibilities to acknowledge again that i could totally be wrong.
Look me in the eyes and tell me Venti wouldnt trade godhood for his friend in an instant. His godhood was only granted to him because his friend died and could easily serve to constantly remind him of what could have been and what he lost. Venti takes no enjoyment from being seen as superior and in my opinion, I feel that it could actually make him largely uncomfortable when his divinity and abilities as an archon get involved-
also self promotion for my favorite posts- check out #archon war era venti if thats interesting to you
so anyway Venti rolling with it or making jokes about it just doesn’t sit right with me.- 
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Okay! enough talking about that mindset!
idk- i have... a few/lot of other gripes and stuff or just things that kinda throw off the vibe for me but that’s the main one plus my general personal pickiness when it come to Venti fanfics- but this has gotten long enough already- 
idk i just felt like rambling about it and i haven’t done a long post in a while so-
again, I love the ship and its actually one of my favorites- just the fanfic isnt my thing..... that doesn’t mean i don’t still love it and come up with a whole ton of brainrot and ideas on it tho lmao
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s4ijoh · 3 years
Text
meet me halfway (across the globe). suna rintarou
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SUNA RINTAROU X GN! READER
GENRE: slice of life; facetime call; fluff
WORD COUNT: 1.4k+
WARNINGS: established relationship; mentions of stress
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in which suna is somewhere far away…
[10:22] rin: “you up?”
[10:23] rin: “big game tomorrow morning.”
[10:23] rin: “cant’ sleep. need to see u.”
the phone buzzing on the bedside table startles you out of your morning somnolence. the empty spot in bed next to you feels a weird type of unfamiliar. you drowsily stretch your arms out, reaching for the ringing device while dragging out a loud yawn.
you are taken aback by surprise once you take a look at the numbers displayed on your phones lock screen: 10:25am. its already past midnight in his timezone. he shouldn’t be up this late.
swiping through your phone's screen, you waste no time in dialling his number once you come across the green facetime icon and luckily, it is only a brief moment until he is picking up and oh boy are you met with a sight to behold. if it werent for your concern, you could’ve just stayed there, marvelling in awe at your boyfriend, sitting shirtless against the headboard in all his glory. his pale skin is gleaming a beautiful shade of orange under the dim light of the table lamp thus reminiscing a statue made of gold; his tousled, black feathery hair sticking in all different directions yet with just a few loose strands cascading down the sides of his temple and framing his face in such way that made him look effortlessly handsome.
he looked as beautiful as ever. however, despite the apparent picture perfect scenario, you would be a fool not to notice the clear signs of restlessness showcased on his features nonetheless.
“sorry, did i wake you?” suna apologizes tenderly with a doting frown on his face once he notices your lids still heavy with vestiges of somnolence just barely peeking from the bottom of the screen. your phone is propped up on your chest, the lower half of your face hidden away from him as you refuse to get up from your comfortable position laying under the warm blankets.
“dont worry about it, baby.” you hurriedly push his apologies aside whilst rubbing the sleep off your eyes to try and not make him feel too bad about it “you know you can call me anytime. im always waiting for you on the other end whenever you need me”
he offers you a subtle smile, although its odd — its weak, not sincere. it is not the usual signature smirk with a teasing remark on the side you earn whenever you say something cheesy. it is also hard to miss the darkening spots growing under his tired eyes, his usual sparkly green orbs now nearing dull, heavy with underlying frustration. it made it all crystal clear.
rintarou is not an outwardly emotional person and definitely not one to voice his concerns. his pleas for help were often left unspoken and it takes a sharp eye to see through his unwavering surface. for the most part, the blank expression he's seen wearing most of the time did a pretty good job at shielding his feelings yet his eyes often betrayed him.
he had taken off a couple days ago to somewhere foreign for an important match. you know how sometimes, before a decisive match takes place, he lets pressure get to that pretty head of his and relies on you to keep him grounded and soothe his racing mind. for the longest time, he had been capable of keeping his emotions at bay and deal with his troubles on his own but ever since you came around, rintarou found himself growing selfish and craving your comfort, finding solace in your reassuring words and warm embrace.
you miss the old days when your lover was just at an arm's length and all it took was for him to say the word for you to drop everything and come running to his house, to hold him in your arms and make it all feel better. you remember people in highschool claiming suna was bound to fade into the background given his lazy tendencies and lack of enthusiasm. (what a waste of potential, they would say) suna would shrug. he never payed any mind to it — you praised him on his unshakable nature. it should be a major ego boost for rintarou to know that, not that many years later and against the spiteful tongues of some of your classmates, he made a name for himself as a first division professional volleyball player, thus proving them wrong.
however, he still has quite a few demons to tame inside his head. one of which was self-doubt.
you let your eyes roam his tired features for a moment. “you need to get out of your head, rin”
suna knew you could read him like an open book. you made him feel vulnerable under your scrutinizing gaze. he felt exposed. to have you stare directly into his naked soul was intimidating, more so than to have you stare at his nude body, like you have done dozens of times before. but just like you did with his body, you had taken your time to get to know every corner of his soul. you knew him like the palm of your hand — both mind and body.
“i know.” he tears his gaze away from yours, looking down while running a hand through his disheveled hair and down to scratch his neck in frustration. “tell me how have your days been?”
the silence of his hotel room was eating him whole and he needed you to distract him. most of the time, suna was fond of the silence. after a rough day he found comfort in laying down in his bed and basking in the quiet. he found peace in it. sometimes it was in the quietness of his own little world that he found the solution to his problems. but upon your arrival to that mysterious world of his, your voice soon became his favorite sound. he craved you to fill in the silence that he once treasured.
and so he listens. suna listens as you talk throughout the night (who would’ve guessed you had just woken up), rambling on about your days as other trivial things — namely how you could never get used to starting the day without his morning cuddles. he found it endearing how you seemed to speak enough for the two of you. he was a man of few words so he was lucky to have found someone to fill in the silence for him. and so he listens until his eyes start progressively feeling heavy, your voice lulling him to sleep.
“hey, baby” he calls in a barely audible raspy voice. suna lays down on his side under the cold unwelcoming bed sheets, holding his phone next to his face on the pillow “put your pretty face on the phone”
a soft smile crawls its way up to your flushed face at his sugar coated words, his voice although drowsy sounding sweeter than saccharin. you were so lost in the lovely image of him that you failed to notice that your face was barely on the frame, just your eyes peeking shyly from the bottom of the screen.
you shuffle in bed, turning on your side to mirror his position. its almost as if you’re not a hundred miles apart and he's lying right next to you, if you squint hard enough.
“there you are” he mumbles weakly under his breath, a loving smile on his pillowy rosy lips that you miss dearly.
his eyes appear weary through the screen yet he never fails to look at you with the utmost love. dumbfounded, you wordlessly stare at each other as you fall into a comfortable silence that is however, filled with a hundred unspoken words.
his love is quiet, hesitant at times but never shallow. he felt deeply and feared he wasn't the best to put it into words so sometimes, his love, it hides beyond lingering stares and shy touches. it remained unuttered most of the time but words are futile when he has shown his devotion to you countless times before.
“hey rin. you think you can go to sleep, now?” you notice him fighting the urge to let his eyes close shut, battling to stay awake for a little longer to try and memorize your face for later so he can dream of you tonight.
he simply nods with his eyes shut, too sleepy to pronounce a single word.
“call me tomorrow after the game, alright?” he nods yet again, noticeably starting to drift away at last but not before muttering a quiet i love you before the last hint of consciousness leaves his body, eliciting a tender smile from you.
“i love you, rin. ill meet you in your dreams tonight.”
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[a/n]: so! writing this fic made me realize that im undeniably in love with suna and he now owns a 51% share of my heart. (oikawa. ill never forget you. its not you its me (suna) maybe its time i move on. 🤒 jk jk ill have both pls and ty 🥰)
anyways ye i guess im back from my mini hiatus (as a full suna whore) :))
this is honestly a word dump, initially this was supposed to be like... what.. 500 words long? i just thought of the prompt “put your pretty face on the phone” and the rest is just me pouring my love for him into words ah-ha. (you probably noticed how it is unnecessarily cheesy 🙄)
just for the record!! i havent finished season 4 just yet 🐸 lmao. i took inspiration off of nooras (@/inarzki) characterization of suna because she was the one who made me fall in love with him in the first place.
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awhst-alt · 3 years
Text
I HAD THE BEST BYLER DREAM LAST NIGHT AND I REALLY WANNA SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL
it's so long (literally 2k words) so im gonna put it under the cut haha <3
so basically this would take place after mike and will start dating or something, idk exactly the time frame (i picture them being like 18 or something and this is the summer before college) and will goes to this summer arts program for like 2/3 months (i dunno how long american summer is but something like that) and its all the way far from home so there is dorms and stuff and he's "not in hawkins anymore" (no pun intended)
mike and will decide after will finishes his school they'd go to college together (cuz they're gonna be comic book artists together bc thats boyfriend shit) so throughout these months he's practically just waiting for will (<333333)
so one specific scene i remember from my dream involved will and mike getting off the bus to the school and then they hug and then mike grabs wills hand and brings him behind the bus and then he gives will a biggg kiss bc he won't be able to kiss him for 3 months. then they say they love each other and will gives him another quick kiss and is like "two kisses". they agree they'd call each other every day.
so will goes inside and mike goes back on the bus and goes home.
and basically the whole day is a whirl, until the end of it, in which mike is sitting in the kitchen near the phone waiting for like 3 hours for will to call, and will doesn't end up calling.
AND THEN IT GETS SPICYYYYY
so meanwhile at the arts program will asks like the front desk or something if he can call mike and they say phone is offlimits and they don't let him call mike
so then will goes to sleep and he's paranoid that he thinks mike is gonna hate him or something like that
mk than the next day in class there is this girl (they didn't reveal her name in the dream, ill call her stella) so stella is basically looking at will the entire class but will doesn't know it
so when they exit the class stella's like "hi" and will says "hi"
then stella says "i like your painting."
will is like rlly weirded out so he goes "thanks?"
"i um- hope this doesn't sound weird but i have no friends, do you want to be mine?"
"sure"
and then end of scene (this does not sound like a normal conversation but it's my dream so it doesn't have to make sense"
so BACK AT HAWKINS mike is still sleeping even tho it's like 3 pm because yk depressed boyfriend shit but then the PHONE RINGS and mike gets out of bed frantically and goes to the phone and he picks it up and is like "will?" and then it answers "it's el, idiot"
i feel like this is important for context but el speaks english very well now and hoppers back and she lives with hopper and not the byers anymore. ANYWAYS
el says "how's will?"
mike says "idk he didn't call"
"he didn't?"
"no, he didn't"
"okay. well maybe he will call later"
"yeah mb"
"wanna come over"
"ok"
so mike hangs up and gets changed and goes to el's house bc they r a couple o' besties and when he gets there it's like a therapy sessions bc mike usally talks to will every single day and he can't for like 3 months (unless will calls, but he's not going to) so he accepts he's gonna be depressed for 3 months and he's just talking to el about how he's gonna miss him so much and no be able to see his face and that shit
so el's like "well do u wanna do something to take ur mind off of him"
and mike's like "no im not gonna replace will" (I SCREAMED IN MY DREAM SRSLY)
but than el says "okay. guess im gonna go to the mall by myself" (ig starcourt is rebuilt by now)
and than mike bolts up and is like "fine"
"we can by something for will"
"okay yay"
so then they go to starcourt yasss!!
anyways back at the art school will is having lunch and stella is with he friends (even tho she said she doesn't have any friends) and one of her friends is like "omg did you see _____ he's so hot"
and another friend says "YESS! but ____ is cuter"
"what abt u stella? who do u have ur eyes on"
she says "byers" BUT NOOOOOOO WILL IS MIKES MAN
and they say "ew that kid who came back to life"
she says "yea. but he's cute, and shy, and once i wrap them around my finger i can get them to do anything"
so then she goes to sit down next to will at lunch
"hi will"
"hi"
"hru"
"im good"
"okay. good." and she gets upset because will goes ask how she is but she keeps her urging rage inside. and than they have this weird conversation and will is uncomfortable the whole time bc shes all like flirting with him and will is seeing someone obvi
but then she puts a hand on will's shoulder and he's shaking and then says something (idk what it is it wasn't explaining in my dream) then will stands up and runs to the bathroom. so he's just sitting in the stalls crying.
okay back at starcourt this part wasn't shown in my dream but im just gonna make up that mike and el go looking around starcourt for something for will (sort of like the mike/lucas/will montage where they were looking for stuff for el) and then i guess they find something for will and i don't have the slightest idea what they could have got for him BUT THEY GOT HIM SOMETHING GOOD
so mike's all happy but they'res still that depression inside of him lol
so fast forward a week, it really isn't explained but ill just make up that will still hasn't called mike, and he's super sad and all sleeping in but decides to look through his good ol binder full of will's drawings and in the arts school will and stella have a few more interactions im sure which are still very uncomfortable
okay so it's lunch again in the cafeteria and somehow will and stella are talking again but somehow it ends in stella kissing will and will like pulls away immediatley and is like "what is wrong with you!?"
and she says "what?"
"i'm seeing someone!"
"oh i uh- i didn't know."
the whole cafeteria is staring at them
so will's freaking out almost on the verge of a panic attack "idk what to do, he's gonna hate me and-"
"he?"
will has the look on his face like shit shit shit oh fuck no
"you're gay?"
"i-"
and will runs off once again. and everyone in the whole cafeteria knows that he's day and ofc with everybody being homophobic will knows it's not good at all bc everyone's gonna bully him
so then the next day he goes to class and the teacher is like "does anyone care to tell me where ___ is?" (it would be like a math question like 'where x is' but in art idkkk) and then the teacher calls on "will? can you tell me where ___ is?" and they'res a pause and then the teacher says "or perhaps you'd want to find your boyfriend instead?" (giving me anne with an e vibes prolly cuz i did a rewatch last weekend but i won't explain more in case some people haven't watched it but) anyways will stands up from his seat, everyone is looking at him, and he's shaking and so concerned but then he goes "fuck. you" badass will yeaaaa thats my boy
so then he runs out of the classroom and out of the school in a really cool montage way but then he realizes he's like 2 hours away from home but he runs and runs and he goes to a random bustop (it's not even garanteed if it takes him to hawkins but whatever) he gets on and tries to go back to hawkins.
and soon enough, he gets there, and immediatley goes to the wheelers because he needs to see mike and apologize for everything. so he's at the wheelers, and rings the doorbell, realizing he's still in his uniform lol but karen answers and mike is upstairs in his room sulking (i picture it would be 8 pm by now) so will asks for mike and karen calls mike. mike groans obviously because he doesn't know it's his boy, but he comes down, karen gets out of the way and as soon as he sees will they have a really big hug and it's super sweet and my heart UFHEIOSKA
mike says his usual "are you okay?" and mike is still confused as shit but will says "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry" and mike says "you don't have to be sorry for anyrhing" but will says "ill explain"
so then they go to will's room, side-by-side on his bed and will starts explaining everything
(this is mostly improvised by me but it's still pretty similar to the dream)
"i hated it."
"the school?"
"yeah. there was no you, (mike blushes lmao), everything was terrible, i felt so lonely, they didn't let me call you-"
"what?"
"they said the phone was off limits. i wanted to talk to you so bad and i thought you'd hate me"
"i could never hate you, will, even if i tried." will smiles
"and then there was this girl, and she hit on me and i didn't know what to do bc i'd be the face of the school if i told her i was dating you and was gay and today she kissed me"
"WHAT"
"im sorry im sorry i didn't kiss back and i was so scared bc i never was in a relationship before and i was so scared it was considered cheating-"
and mike LAUGHSS
"what? mike? what's wrong?"
"if you don't do anything back, it's not considerd 'cheating'"
"oh. good. are you mad at me?"
"what? no! no never!" so mike opens his arms and says "come here" so will and mike hug or something like that and then mike says "do you need me to beat her up?"
and will says "you can't even beat eggs. besides, your noodle arms wouldn't be able to do harm to even a fly"
so mike laughs and says "i'm glad your home"
so will blurts "i cursed out a teacher"
"you? cursing?"
"yes."
"might have to start calling you a bad boy now"
will just smiles and says "i love you"
and mike says "i love you too"
AND THEN END AND IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF BC I LOVE THIS DREAM LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BRAIN THOUGHT OF THIS BUT IM OBSESSED
ALSO ONCE I FINISH WYBMFFAE ILL PROBABLY WRITE THIS INTO A FULL BLOWN FIC BUT AHIHFUSAH
edit: i have no idea what mike did with the present him and el bought for will but i guess they ended up giving it to him lol
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steepgan · 3 years
Text
someone dear (ii) - d. ragnvindr x f!reader
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PART I - PART II - PART III
diluc pov... im practicing writing for this fic im writing so sorry if its BAD... also TW BL//D ..!! hmm i definitely drew inspiration from pride and prejudice while writing this LMFAOOO um <3 sry jane austen for ruining ur book >,< also i did not edit this either um.
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Diluc had always known that [Name] was committed to money, if not her job. He didn’t know why. It was obviously something very personal to [Name], and he didn’t have enough time to meddle into his employee’s affairs. If he questioned her about it, she might’ve felt compelled to tell him. Or she’d request him to pay her for the secret.
He was more than willing to give [Name] a little money. She was a hard worker as well as a young woman of excellent tastes. Given her personality, he would have thought her as a bartender for Cat’s Tail—a rival of his with excellent drinks that was taking Mondstadt’s wine industry by storm. But [Name] was here, working diligently with the same old grin on her face.
There would be some days where she’d request the bard to play a somber song because she thought it was fitting for her mood. Diluc’d overheard her complaining to Charles about getting a cut on her hand from picking up shards of glass.
She worked so frequently that Angel’s Share wouldn’t be Angel’s share without her. Perhaps she’d been saving up for something big, like a trip. Diluc could see her roaming around the seven nations with no clear destination. She had a wanderer’s soul, really. If she ever left, would Diluc be able to find a replacement?
Certainly he would. 
[Name] was just a worker, and it was Diluc’s duty to see to it that he had excellent employees. And if she was good and brave, then the rest of the city could be good and brave.
“Charles,” Diluc called out. The Abyss Order was still at large. Tonight he’d roam the city streets to keep the people safe. “I can take tonight’s shift for you.”
The bartender bowed graciously. Days off for him were very rare.  “Thank you, Master Diluc,” he said before casting a side glance at [Name], “although have you thought about taking [Name]’s shift instead? She’s been working lots lately…”
[Name], who’d overheard them, lifted her head up from the cupboard beneath the bar she was cleaning. She hit her head on the counter and wobbled over. Scratching the crown of her head, she chuckled nervously. “Oh, I’m all right! I’d be happy to work a little extra anyway.”
Diluc furrowed his brows. It’d be better if he had the tavern to himself so his identity wouldn’t be exposed. Unfortunately, [Name] was such a good worker that she’d seen him come back into the tavern after a good fight one too many times. Firing her was out of the question because she did her job well, and it would be terrible of him to get rid of her because of his bad blood with the knights. 
However, [Name] didn’t really care, which was good. He didn’t give that raise to her for nothing. Diluc said, “[Name], are you sure?”
“No worries, Master Diluc,” she said. 
And then it happened to be that night where Diluc stumbled back to Angel’s Share with his arm noticeably limp and his black clothes damp with blood.
It was just [Name] sitting at the bar, flipping through a magazine of catalogs Diluc couldn’t be bothered with. His arm was searing with pain—to the point where he could feel nothing at all. Numbness. It wasn’t too bad; he’d dealt with worser injuries. 
He considered himself lucky enough to find Angel’s Share in the first place, even with the lanterns lighting up the road. Diluc had to avoid all the usual patrols of the Favonius Knights. 
Diluc was blinking through sweat, trying to register the bright lights of inside the tavern. Everything was so spotty and brilliant with gold explosions. He shouldn’t have decorated the inside so lavishly. [Name]’s head jolted up at the sight of him. Had she been falling asleep on the job? How unprofessional… but there were no people in here, so Diluc didn’t care.
With the decorations so shiny behind her, she looked like a fancy chandelier. Like the one at Dawn Winery. So shimmery. 
[Name] rushed to Diluc’s side. “Master Diluc? Are you okay? You’re—you’re severely injured!”
“I’m fine,” he gritted out.
“You’re bleeding.”
“It’s not the end of the world, is it?” Diluc snapped. [Name] was taken aback. He sighed. “Sorry. Just leave me be. I’ll go upstairs and—”
His world started spinning. [Name] caught him.
She looked frantic. “I’m not the best at wrapping up wounds, but I know a trick or two from Lisa!” Diluc’s disdain must’ve shown because [Name] immediately added, “I know she’s a part of the knights, but healing is healing. Let’s get you to the bar.”
[Name] was probably curious. She might’ve wanted to know what Diluc was doing out at night and how he’d gotten himself injured. Diluc tugged himself away from [Name]’s grasp. “No,” he said. He could heal himself. He could handle it on his own. “I got it.”
“Let me do this,” she insisted, “temporarily.”
Diluc had always been alone. He worked on missions by himself. He protected the city of Mondstadt by himself. The Knights of Favonius were no good, really. It was up to him alone. Just Diluc. It's always been just Diluc. It was just Diluc when he left the knights, and it was just Diluc when he insisted that Inspector Eroch take his father’s death more seriously.
“I’m okay,” he said. “Leave me alone. Pretend you saw nothing.”
I’m injured, he thought. I need medical assistance. I know some medicine. No, I don’t. There���s painkillers upstairs. Yeah… painkillers upstairs.
[Name] made up her mind and grabbed Diluc’s good arm. “I’m sorry,” she said. “You’re very hurt. And I know you told me to leave you alone, but you look like you’re in pain. I can’t do much, but at least let me help you just for a second.”
No, I’m doing just spiffy! Diluc wanted to say. But that wouldn’t help his case. He’d gone through worse alone. An arm cut was nothing compared to his past. This wouldn’t kill him, but it hurt so, so bad. He’d live, though, and as long as Diluc had all his limbs intact by the end of the day, he’d still protect Mondstadt.
[Name] took advantage of Diluc’s internal struggle to sit him down at the bar. She ran to the back to grab supplies before coming back out. She dropped a pair of fine scissors, swore, and then picked it back up. [Name] forced Diluc’s coat off of him, tossing it aside.
Diluc had seen [Name] eye his nice coat from time to time, and he had half a mind to give it to her just for fun. But she paid no mind to it now. Blood was smeared over his arm.
“Oh, dear,” she said. “It matches the color of your hair.”
“Thanks,” he said. The pain spiked. “I don’t suppose you want financial compensation for taking care of me.”
She shook her head. [Name] is good and brave, Diluc had thought then. She snipped a certain length of a linen bandage she’d brought out from the back. “I’m still working within work hours. The usual pay is enough for me.”
Diluc had a lot to say.
“But I’m not the best at wrapping wounds,” [Name] admitted. “Promise me you’ll see a professional after this. Hopefully one of your personal assistants?”
“Okay,” he said.
“This might sting,” she warned. She dabbed a clean cloth into alcohol before wiping it gently over his arm. She held his arm gently, her cool hand keeping him steady while she cleaned away the germs and infection. Compared to the searing pain of the cut, the alcohol was nothing.
I don’t like this, Diluc thought. [Name] knows too much. I’m no longer alone. I don’t like this at all.
The night was silent, only filled with [Name] working with her limited materials to patch Diluc up. It was awkward, and the tension was as thick as burnt steak. 
For his pride and for the livelihood of Mondstadt, [Name] could not know that he was protecting the city at night. She was too friendly with the knights. She talked way too much. She could accidentally spill Diluc’s secrets. This was not good.
“Have you ever thought about working at the winery itself?” Diluc proposed. If firing her wouldn’t do the trick, then maybe sending her away from the city would.
[Name] looked perplexed. “Why?”
Diluc tried to imagine [Name] as a maid at his winery, keeping the interior clean. [Name] could drag a drunkard outside no problem, but could she clean the fine, delicate decorations that made the inside of the winery so neat? Could she be happy working there? Frankly, Diluc couldn’t imagine [Name] as someone who’d enjoy working at the winery at all.
“You wouldn’t make a good maid,” he said out of the blue.
“What?” [Name] furrowed her brows. “I’d make a great maid. I’d be the best maid ever.”
“Prove it,” he said. “You should work at the winery. It’s a bit of a distance, but I could pay for your travel fare.”
“Same wage?”
“Same wage.”
[Name]’s fingers held the bandage as she began to wrap it around his arm. She worked quickly with the skill of a bartender who had plenty of customers and little time. Her touch danced over his skin, and he was fighting the rising urge to blush.
“Thank you, Master Diluc, but I’m okay. I like working here. I’d imagine it’s more fun,” she said. “If it’s the same wage, I might as well enjoy being here in the city while working.”
“You care about fun?” Diluc was surprised. Given the last six months, he thought all she cared about was small talk and money. “All right, then.”
“I can’t believe you got hurt,” she said. [Name] almost sounded mad. “It’s not so bad to ask others for help when you need it.”
You should be mad at me for other things.
“I can do things alone,” Diluc said. “I don’t exactly need anyone, really. This is just a one time thing. I could  have healed myself on the second floor, but you had to interfere—”
“Master Diluc,” [Name] said, “I don’t know what failed you or who let you down, but we do need people.”
Diluc was growing cross. His ugly pride poked his chest. “I know that.”
People needed each other! It was how civilizations came about, and it was how empires fell. That was why he protected Mondstadt. That was why he prowled the streets. He did it because the people needed someone competent, and he did it because the knights would let the people down just as they did he. 
People needed him. 
“Dependency isn’t bad,” [Name] further added. “One day, you will find people who helped you, and you will help them in return. It’s only natural to need people, Master Diluc. We all need people. We all need company.”
“Too much dependency is—” The pain ran up his arm.
“Well, of course,” [Name] said. “Independence is a good thing, too. It’s highly sought after. Maybe being a lone wolf is exactly up your ally, Mr. Diluc, but the idea of a lone wolf is somewhat of an oxymoron. Wolves always prefer to travel in a pack.”
Do I really want to be alone all my life? Diluc thought. “I guess you’re right,” he said instead. “You have my thanks.”
“You pay me,” she pointed out cheerfully, and Diluc’s heart panged.
“[Name].” The words left his mouth before he could even think. “Why do you work so hard? Is there something you work toward?”
“Not exactly,” she said. “Being financially stable has always been a dream of mine. As well as putting enough food on the table and buying all these nice clothes.”
Diluc was surprised. “No family?”
“I do have, but they’re in Liyue as of now. We talk occasionally, but I like to live my own life how I like it.” [Name] nodded. “If I work for anything at all, I’d have to say I work for myself. I like working here, and I work because the journey is just as fun as the destination. A cozy retirement is not worth enjoying if one didn’t work hard to get there. Is there someone or something you work for, Master Diluc?”
Many gods ran through his mind. Deities upon deities. Alters upon alters.
“Mondstadt and its citizens,” Diluc responded. “The knights are the definition of inefficient. I clear up a few enemies on the streets sometimes”— he’d realized he essentially spilled his secret hobby to [Name]—“but it’s nothing big.”
“Take pride, Master Diluc,” [Name] said. Had she figured it out? Diluc felt small underneath her working fingertips. “I take it you’re a nocturnal vigilante?”
Diluc swore internally. “I suppose.”
“So did you choose the name Darknight Hero? You’re the talk of the town.”
It was good that the people were romanticizing his adventures. It gave them a sense of peace and normalcy. However, the name was absolutely atrocious. “I don’t like that name,” Diluc said.
“What do you prefer they call you, then?”
Preferably, nothing. Diluc did not do this for attention. He was supposed to be one with the shadows. But [Name] made him feel seen. He felt exposed to some terrible light.
Diluc had to remember that [Name] was an employee under him. She was one of the many citizens he had to protect. She shouldn’t be wrapping up his arm like this. Diluc should be writhing in pain alone upstairs with [Name] none the wiser. 
Her touch was soft. Her fingertips barely touched the surface of his skin. Her hands were no longer cool but warm and alive. She took care of him so gently that Diluc forgot he was a weapon and felt like a cherished object.
For someone who claimed she wasn’t proficient in wound-wrapping, she did a decent temporary job. Of course, a visit to Diluc’s private doctor was still necessary. 
Though her company was nice, Diluc was accustomed to flying solo.
“You must really love Mondstadt,” [Name] said. “You’re a very good man.”
Diluc opened his mouth and then closed it.
[Name] finished wrapping his wounds. The bandage was snug around his arm, and Diluc found comfort in its presence. It was far too bad someone would take it off later to properly inspect Diluc’s cut. “Well, that's about it for my medical expertise which is ultimately none.”
“Thank you,” Diluc said. 
“I would advise you to return to your winery, but it’s nighttime, and there’s monsters prowling about,” [Name] said. “I don’t doubt your athletic abilities, but you’re hurt. You should maybe eat something and rest. Early in the morning you can leave.”
[Name] was in no position to tell Diluc what to do. Diluc was her employer, her—Diluc looked at the time. [Name] was technically done with work. Technically speaking, Diluc wasn’t the boss of her as of right now. 
And Diluc knew that [Name] was simply offering suggestions. Good suggestions. His pride as a hero told him to refuse and make the trek back to the winery by himself. But his reason pulled him back to her. 
“Would you like something to eat, Master Diluc?”
“All right.”
Soon, Diluc’s arm was noticeably better. After consulting a legitimate professional, Diluc took great care of his arm and trained it back to health. His days were moreover the same after that. He swept the city streets and night and returned to his winery every so often, as he couldn’t let sales go down while he was playing hero.
Though, what kind of hero gets injured? Diluc thought to himself bitterly.
[Name] had called him a good man; well, of course, he was. The knights were anything but good and competent. But was he a good hero? What sort of hero spat swears and curses at the knights? What sort of hero harbored a deep, festering hatred for the very institution that supposedly protected the people?
She was the only one who’d touched him like that. She touched him so softly when wrapping him up that Diluc felt more a man than a hero. It wasn’t good. Diluc needed his priorities straight. He was grateful for [Name] and for that night, and this new feeling of gratefulness was lodged in his throat.
He’d offered to financially compensate, but [Name] turned the offer down. She was weird. She salivated at the thought of money, but when Diluc put more money on the table, [Name] refused to eat.
Diluc was not used to feeling owed to anyone but himself. He had a feeling that he’d feel more gratefulness to others in the future, and that scared him. If they were as stubborn as [Name], then how would he pay them back?
Did he need to pay her back? Was it only natural for people to rely on each other? Did he always have to be alone? Could he really move forward without the feeling of solidarity?
It was all right to be alone. But it was not so bad to rely on other people once in a while.
Some days, he’d see [Name] feeding a dog leftovers through the window of his tavern. She’d be crouched over, whistling and patting the ground to get the dog’s attention. The dog would wag his tail delightfully and trot over to her. And Diluc had half a mind to warn [Name] about infection, but the dog seemed awfully fond of her.
Then there were some days where she was so happy that you could clean the tavern free of charge. While money was a prospect to her,  she seemed to act on her own whims and happiness. If that happiness was to clean the tavern without pay, then she would.
She was strange. An enigma. She was the most magical a human being could get.
Diluc and Charles were once sitting at the bar while [Name] was dusting the nooks and crannies of the stairway, humming to herself.
“She ought to be happier more often.”
Charles raised a brow at Diluc’s words. Could the impassive Diluc be feeling love? “Why?”
“So she can clean my tavern for free more often.”
“Sure, Master Diluc.”
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PART I - PART II - PART III
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its-chelisey-stuff · 2 years
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i def cant look at those two and not feel angry and sad anymore. it did seem the writer wanted to keep her doomed vision even when how things were shown didnt support it. we rly only got one episode of them as a couple and things went to shit. all the regrets in older heedo makes me sad cause it didnt need to happen. it seems shes gonna regret that her whole life.. her life shouldve been with him. im tired of people saying first loves dont last, its how things work! like first, whose first love was built up like theirs? second, who wants the show full of hope to end in such a sad note? esp this day in age in the pandemic. cant we have anything nice? like i get she had a vision but even the actors knew it wouldnt make sense for the characters. i respect taeri and njh so much, they brought them to levels beyond her writing probably, so much she couldnt contain them in her original story yet she didnt change it and the aftermath feels like a very underwhelming end to one of the most beautiful couples ive seen in awhile. im just venting. i was more angry before but now im just sad i cant rewatch this knowing the end 😞
Oh anon, first of all, thank you for sharing this! It helps to know that I'm not alone at how much i hated the ending and how bad it makes me feel lol
Also, you're right! This show was full of hope, it was our comfort show! I was going through a hard time the week i started watching this drama and it made me feel a thousand times better so to see it all end the way it did, wtf? It felt cheap and wrong and like was the writer drunk or high? I just can't make sense of it. Can't reconciliate the story we had for 14 eps with those last 2 eps. It felt like a different show to me.
And yes. Heedo and Yijin's love was wonderful, so beautifully built, theirs wasn't a simple "puppy love" the kind that you look back on and have a little laugh remembering how silly they were. NO. It was so much more than that and everyone who saw the show knows it. Also, Yurim and Jiwoong were each other's first love, were they not? And they worked out in the end, which I'm happy about, kinda but mostly I'm angry. If they did work out in the end, why couldn't Heedo and Yijin as well? Ugh
Tbh I couldn't even bring myself to watch the last ep. I just can't. I saw the spoilers and that was enough for me. Reading all these things about old Heedo having regrets just makes me angrier lol at least writer should've made her happy in the future. What was the point of showing us such a depressing version of the Heedo we all fell in love with?
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jiminrings · 3 years
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honestly i could talk w band!hobi abt numbers all day, like i wouldn't even mind. what are ur thoughts on 27 hobi? i think they a bad bitch. also UM might i request a drabble abt like a film major! yn (that is very enthusiastic abt films and the aesthetics + cinematography and whatnot) w like,,, a theatre kid?? any of ot7 works fine and it's all good if u can't or don't want to! thankyouu 💜
muse of mine
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pairing: namjoon x y/n
wordcount: 4k
glimpse: namjoon’s always been a little sensitive to feedback whether it’s positive or negative, y/n’s an endearing type of talker, and smuggled snacks to the theater haven’t ever tasted this sweet :D // gif from pinterest!
notes: i kinda switched it up a lil bit and made them more established in their respective fields bc my mind went berserk on this concept!!! also this is mayhaps my oNLY piece that’s just pure fluff
“27? The number? Hmm. That sounds... sexy.” - band!hobi
this been’s bugging you for the past half hour
this whole experience feels oddly familiar
you’ve been in this theater for half an hour so far to watch this play!!
lmao ur gonna admit RIGHT off the bat that theatre’s definitely not it for you
your slight unfondness for it is deeply-rooted back to university and for four years, you’ve consistently taken dumps on theatre kids even if it’s under your breath
alright it’s possible that you don’t hATE the actual people ( only some of them ;D ) themselves but rather this whole type of cockiness and the “i’m a direct descendant of shakespeare himself. trust me bro. on god” energy that they always seem to exhude
but realistically, maybe this deep-rooted hate stemmed from seokjin
he was the guy you’d share the exact same elective class with him for two straight whole semesters and you’ve been seatmates from time to time
homie took foreign language as an elective?????
the language is korean?????????????????
“wait b-but i — aren’t you — n-no but i really???”
that’s what you first sputtered to him in realization when he took his seat beside you
the two of you have only ever shown each other notes bc the other was dozing off and the occasional sharing of gummy bears that’s already pre-opened to not make any noise
but for some reason, it’s only dawned in you why seokjin’s a god in this class and he answers your questions without even looking at his notes by hALFWAY through the whole semester of foreign language
one day, u are gonna find a way to bodyslam yourself and never recover from it ever again
“mhmm. don’t sweat it, sweetheart. i personally think it’s very don quixote of me to y’know, take something as impractical and amusing as this.”
you snort at his choice of words because honestly!! you barely remember don quixote and jin’s use of it as an adjective jigs up a refresher course on your brain
who was he again?? 
was he the donkey
.. or are you thinking about shrek again because of your film analysis
you sWEAR there was a donkey in that story
it’s good fun to talk with jin even if he keeps sliding bourgeoisie words here and there and you’re a lil confused with all these references that he makes but that’s okay !!!
atleast even him saying it in a long-winded way that he was like someone from the merchant of somewhere, you know now that he pretty-pleased and charmed his way to the registrar for him to take korean as an elective
...
two weeks later, jin sits next to you in class 
in ACTUAL non-elective, non-native language he already speaks class
now that you’re squinting a bit more, jin does look a little uh?? different
his hair that was once a hybrid of lavender and peach and pink and then blonde was now wholly black and it’s probably his original hair color because it matches with those eyebrows of his!!!
his combo of a black bomber jacket with a silk button-up underneath honestly SLAPS and it makes you forget how he used to exclusively wear only knitted shirts and argyle-patterned cardigans
you have ur jaw dropped because you totally would’ve fallen for seokjin jAW-FIRST 
— if only he didn’t strike you as the brother type when he smacked the back of your head because you were falling asleep on class again and uhhh you mUst be forgetting that the two of you were sitting in front
you had no time to reevaluate whether you should develop a crush for him or not 
he’s immediately slapping his hands on his knees, looking at you so intensely before pointing a finger at you with so much conviction, and then scoffing to himself
“switched majors to film. theatre was gonna be the death of me!!! y/n, if you even think about trying to switch to that cheap, amazon-ordered quill and tanning lights for stage lighting major, you’re absolutely dEAD to me-”
you’ve never had a conversation this striking nor long with jin but you genuinely have no complaints at all
seokjin talks pure shit about theatre and theatre junkies and everything in between for the WHOLE day 
trails beside you for every single class you had, which was convenient because he can then sweet-talk his way again (if anybody even dared to question him) that he’s just newly-switched 
sat with you for lunch and him not eating because he just needS to tell you all about it and you trying not to choke on your pasta as you try to reply to him
followed you back hOME and decided to crash the night there
yeah, that. your unfondness for theatre’s rooted on that one
uh-huh safe to say that you’ve become best friends with jin ever since that day
you’re a sponge for your friends and jin’s the closest one you have, so it was only natural that you soak up his distastes and whatnot
not to brag but aha :D
you add salt to the water while you boil pasta so u may be a little bit of a masterchef or somewhat, no big deal :D
he’s absorbed your fascination for all kinds of lights and fixtures that he has about seven different nightlights in the form of squishies or neon and everything else on his bedside table, in which he turns all of them on at night
fun fact: he’s capable of sleeping in the dark
jin’s the whole reason for your stance on this
he’s adamant about his points and you’ve graduated uni four years ago!!!
which is why you DON’T get why jin would give you a scented black envelope, with “don’t come to this” scribbled in gold at the front, carrying a single ticket to this play with a sticky note saying “don’t watch this at 7 pm, wearing your boss lady year-end award show type of clothes, sitting at the ninth row from the back and two seats from your right.”
because of course!! what the hell did he expect you to do? NOT come to this play at 7 pm wearing your boss lady year-end award show type of clothes then sitting at the ninth row from the back, two seats from the right???
OF COURSE YOU WOULD
your goal in life is to do exactly the opposite of what jin tells you. there’s literally nothing else in life you’d want to fulfill
he’s made it quite easy for you to spite him and although you wouldn’t admit it.,,.,., you may be a little petty ok
he’s the even bigger goof out of the two of you and you can never have the final say!! it’s always him and his wit and yOU being the dunce
it’s a lil sus that jin’s basically ASKING for it with his instructions but whatever
whatever it is, this is finally your chance to enact the final say and you’re gonna pull ALL the stops
all you know about theater-goers is that they dress fancy and wear these mini binoculars and that’s about it
there’s not even one film you know that you see anyone in the audience wearing a worn-in cardigan or even a puffer jacket even if the theater’s mad cold
all the people bring are scarves and shawls???? thee thinnest version of a blanket that won’t warm them up against the frigid airconditioning
that whole dress code sounds ridiculous!!! great please ring out this thousand-dollar dress im gonna wear to the theater thank u
you’re a little worried that you’re not gonna blend into the crowd, but after some digging about the invitation, formal wear is most definitely recommended
it’s an exclusive invite-only play which would be later released to the general public later on so yeah the situation dOES call for a gown thank u very much
also how could you forget that jin explicitly told you not to wear this type of attire
if you’re being humble right now, which you always normally are, even if that jUST sounded boastful talking about how you’re humble all the time —
you do look pretty breath-taking :-)
even when the doors weren’t opened and everyone’s just collectively loitering outside the hall, you’d feel glances at you
the sweet security guard did a double-take at you and mumbled a “very very nice evening to you, miss :D” instead of his normal “enjoy the show!” to the other patrons before you
you’re gonna soak all the silent compliments up and try to remember all of them before writing them on your journal later hee-hee
your midnight blue satin dress that’s floor-length and off-shoulder is dEFINITELY in your favor :D
your dress still glimmers even if the spotlight isn’t on you and you wish you weren’t shy to ask a random stranger to take a picture of you
going on self-timer isn’t ideal either when there’s like a hundred other people in the room
they probably wouldn’t even care if you took a picture of yourself!!! but in your head they probably think that you’re laughable so you’d rather not.. do that
the theater’s dark as hell if that wasn’t established
it is literally pitch black in the room and the ushers at each row holding the flashlights that are meant to guide the patrons aren’t exactly helpful
big kudos to them though,, must take a lot of self-control to not wave their lights like it was a rave :D
a flashlight tHAT bright?? whew pls is this what ships feel in the night
the last time you were in a rave, your thirty minutes of fun was cut short when seokjin immediately got hammered and wouldn’t stop throwing a fit if you didn’t drive him home that instant
his energy seemed to compelling everyone that he’s managed to somehow suck the energy out of a WHOLE rave so you took him home for everyone’s enjoyment :(((( except yours apparently
you’re trying hard to focus on the play that’s happening because for the past twenty minutes, all you’ve done is zone out randomly with ideas all of a sudden 
you NEED to listen
....
uh-huh...
UH-HUH......
wait this is actually.. good
you find plays hard to follow and absolutely boring when you don’t immerse yourself in a run-down PRIOR to watching it in order to get
it’s the same analogy as reading the plot of a movie on wikipedia before watching the movie at the cinema.... absolutely useless
it sucks out the fun from something you weren’t supposed to know
watching plays is two hours of you being confused, going home to read the plot and only understand it by tHEN, and never coming to the theater again because you’d waste your money.... watching something cluelessly in the theater..... for a plot you’d grasp at home
but no
because this one
actually this one that you’re watching...
it’s not bad
it’s nice, actually.
within two minutes, you managed to grasp that it’s a story about a never-ending spring between these two lovers
there’s something about the whole setting of it actually that just sucks you in
in some plays, the outfits would seem so forced even in the given context that it reminds you of uh a particular superhero movie
and yes ur aware that stage makeup has to be enhanced so that people all the way to the back row would see
but there’s just something in this scene that’s laid out right-now that actually gets you in awe
it’s of the couple in the back of their pick-up truck and everything about it seems so natural
the background straight up looks like what it’d be if you were to go outside
the guy’s arm around her shoulder seems so natural and in nature that it doesn’t feel like a random cue in the script
the girl twinkles and it doesn’t even feel like a forced type of laugh you’d cue in attempt to warm the audience’s hearts
it’s of a plot where the the guy eventually falls out of love with the girl, while girl gets even more smitten with the guy at the same time
it’s what you take from the past ten minutes that you watch in dead silence, and you don’t even remember in the back of your head that you’re supposed to hate plays
“no way.”
you mumble in disbelief under your breath, head shaking profusely
is your mind playing tricks on you???
you’ve got too used to seokjin sitting beside you that you immediately turn to your right, whispering out your concerns 
“is it just me or is she wearing a different shade of pink?”
you don’t even buffer for one second when you ask the stranger beside you
you’re so concerned that you’re looking at him intently while waiting for his answer that could either console or despair you, a random theater-goer that’s too noisy with her questions for her own good
it’s absolutely dARK as fuck in the theater but after awhile your eyes adjusted slightly
and the first thing you look at after the stage is him
him as in the dude in your right that you just asked all of a sudden
you could only see his silhouette and the faintest features of his face along with his well-dressed suit but god
... you are totally not lying if you say that even the barest silhouette of him doesn’t look handsome
you’re expecting him to tell you off for being so noisy but instead, he’s the one who takes you by surprise
“how did you notice that?” 
:O
“oh my god!” you exclaim almost too loudly that you yourself even jolts, the guy even making you duck with him slightly for a brief second, “im sO sorry!! am i accidentally spoiling it out for you?”
the guy blinks twice, lips slightly parted before shaking his head no
“no, no... this is the first screening — i mean uh, how would you know that?”
oh boy
you’re adjusting yourself on your seat, bum now warm as you try to explain and not be nervous because what if you just made a wrong assumption about this play and you’re sitting next to a goddamn tHEATRE BUFF???
“well i —uh, uhm what’s your name?” you’re flustered and the FIRST thing you ask is what was his name.,.,,
he seems equally as flustered before he adjusts his glasses, “o-oh uhm i’m namjoon...?”
alright! handsome guy is namjoon!
“you see, namjoon — okay it might just be in my head, but i tHINK it looks deeper with the light somehow. but uh...? the spotlight’s not following her and — is it just me or without the light, her sweater looks brown?”
you’re squinting and if u squint even more, maybe your contacts would just crumple by then
hold on a second
“brown, like — oh my gOD LIKE-”
namjoon puts a hand over his mouth before you could even gasp, hand reaching out for your forearm even before you manage to grasp his shoulder to take it in realization
was it under your nose the whole time??
“... fall.”
:D
holy fucking shit
namjoon looks positively euphoric looking at your face of realization, his once-heavy chest about the whole scene becoming completely devoid of weight
“exactly!!”
his confirmation makes you inwardly squeal, grinning as you point at him and the stage back and forth
“i think this is the first play i’ve become ever interested in watching.”
okay what now
his ears perk up at that, your first sentence that you’ve said after your pink sweater that looks like spring also looks brown like fall in certain scene because of the lighting realization
“it is?”
he takes the chance to look at you as best as he could, trying to play his squinting as cool as he can
namjoon’s far sighted and the glasses he’s wearing are nOT up to date with his current grade bc he’s pretty sure his eyesight’s worsened the past month
he can’t make you out wholly, but he does know that you’re pretty
his eyes don’t linger on you because of the snacks you’re fishing from your purse while you talk that are absolutely illegal in this theater house lmao
but instead, his gaze lingers on you because you’re so pretty
the minimal light that’s bouncing off the stage is enough for him to see a faint outline of your features, highlighting your smiles just right and your dress to glint underneath
“mhmm. i actually hate plays,” suddenly, you’re not scared if namjoon happens to be some sort of theatre buff and you’re offending him because honestly, you feel at ease. “crunch?” you’re holding out the mini bar of chocolate out to him, one he politely declines to because his eyes are bulging out the next second
“you do????”
his genuine reaction indulges you, making you grin ultimately that you put off eating snacks for now to focus on him
“yeah! this is my hate outfit :D”
namjoon giggles as if it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard
you automatically scoot closer because this time, it’s yOUR turn to shush him
this is totally for just the reason of talking more discreetly and not distracting anyone and is totally not an excuse to be closer to the next guy and touch shoulders with him then get a whiff of cologne because it’s rare for a guy to be handsome and aLSO smell good
your eyes get used to the darkness and eventually, you could make out features of namjoon beside you
he has the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen
and the way he looks at you makes you feel safe and even your height difference is visible with how probably lonG his torso is compared to yours, his gaze doesn’t make you feel small
namjoon’s still (unsurprisingly) far-sighted and ur so close that he’s a lil cross-eyed 
fuck it he’s gonna go to ophthalmologist FIRST thing in the morning tomorrow
“then why are you here?”
“my friend seokjin,” you lean back upon realizing the original reason why you’re here, the situation being so ironic that you puff out a smile
your friend’s named seokjin?
cool :D kim seokjin is namjoon’s of his favorite directors eVER!!
second best for him actually though.,., no one could quite compare to his first
your explanation makes him cackle several times, a swell of pride recounting why you hate (it’ll be past tense probably after this one) theatre 
“what about you?”
you turn the question to him, making his dimples disappear effectively that you think you’ve just spooked him
“i uh, well i always wanted to see a story that went like this, so i’m here.”
“you’re a critic? oh god. please don’t tell me you heard all my mumbles.”
no this is even WORSE
namjoon’s not a theatre buff
HE’S A CRITIC????????????
god im coming up
“don’t worry, i also think that the drapings must probably be dirty.”
he breaks out into a smile recounting how you were talking to yourself earlier, a snort escaping him involuntarily 
“RIGHT??? it’s like how do you even clean them?? do they fit in washing machines or-”
my god he’s such a nice guy!!!
in fact, he’s everything you want in a guy
you’ve went through atleast twelve facets of emotions for the past hour and you’re not even dating!!!!!!!
“my thoughts exactly!! and if it’s by hand, how do you even scrub the entirety of it?? or wring the water out??”
namjoon KNOWS exactly what’s up :’)
“is there even a clothesline that’d bEAR the weight??”
the two of you are so happy that you just look at each other laughing, a moment in time before namjoon nudges you to lean back because the ending’s happening
you don’t even question him how he’d know that it’s the ending and not just another opening to a new scene, just listening to him
you’re so happy
the play made you happy but namjoon made you even happier :-)
“if you are a critic, you should probably open up your review with this chatty play-hating girl beside you, then at the end, close it off with how she loves it.”
it’s the parting conversation as you realize and holy fuck you are nOT ready for it
you r gonna drag this out for as long as you could <3
......
and namjoon wants in too <3
“noted. if i was a playwright, i’d even make you the lead. which detail should i include? offering me wrapper-covered rice crispy snacks, or asking how you’d watch it while going thru the bathroom?”
this feels so natural
as natural as the couple in the play you’ve just finished watching :))
“you’re hilarious,” you’re not even the slightest bit annoyed and your restrained smile tells him all about it
yea you may have brought in snacks illegally but you aRE gathering your trash up as you’re a decent human being
namjoon wishes you’d pick up after yourself slowly, standing up from his seat as he has the plan of picking up trash that isn’t even his
“what name should i put then?”
you’re silent and oh god he thinks you found his company stupid and would definitely not give him your name
you’re not ignoring him though!!!
his words are still stuck in your head, realizing it lately with his “which detail should i include?”
“me wanting to turn this into a film, actually.”
you test the words out on your tongue, nodding to yourself after a few seconds that you seem so sure of it
“yeah. i wanna make it into a film.”
the lights turn on after being dim for so long, namjoon’s eyes going wide trying to digest what you’ve just said
“w-what?
.....
no fucking way
HOLY FUCKING SHIT SWFRWFBWRHGBRBVWRV SWBHJSDB SHJAVBHGJDS BWHRGHBSVWBGRH
namjoon’s malfunctioning as he’s looking at you from eye to eye, bottom lip trembling while he’s so keen at pointing at you
“y-you’re miss y/n!!”
....
right
oH RIGHT
he’s a fan of yours??
namjoon’s fanning his face because he’s about to literally burst into tears
how could he nOT???
how could he not be emotional when all along, he’s been talking to his number one favorite director????
you and your films are the absolute gems of his life namjoon’s not even kidding
your films were world-renowned for being so natural and sentimental without loading too much into it!!!! you’re known for being so humble through the multiple back-to-back awards and praise you get!!!! 
he cannot calm the fUCK down when you’re rubbing circles on his back
“you w-want to turn my play into a film?”
oh my gOD
you’re fumbling for the envelope and it’s only nOW that you realize that it’s not from seokjin in the first place
spring day a play by kim namjoon an invite for director y/n y/l/n
“it’s you!!!!”
“no it’s YOU!!”
jin’s plan worked alright :D
he’s just FOUR rows behind you lmao
it was just two weeks ago when yoongi, the executive producer of his film that he was directing, let it slip that he was co-financing a play
he met yoongi some semesters later after he became close with you, and he’s aLSO converted yoongi into hating theatre then he fit right in to your little posse of theatre kid-hating film students
that gave jin the laugh of his laugh and yoongi was not joking at all
“no, no. i’m telling you man. it’s different! i even have the script that i’ll let you read.”
and holy shit it IS different
if you see a couple tears on the last seven pages of yoongi’s copy of spring day’s script then mind yo oWN fucking business
then two weeks later, here he is :D
jin managed to also convert you to love theatre even IF it is namjoon’s play that did all the work
( also coincidentally found you a future boyfriend because he’s tired of seeing you alone and the closest you’d get to having someone is projecting your yearning into writing the scripts for the films you’d make )
he’s also secretly co-financed the whole play along with yoongi and he’ll drop that bomb later on lmao
“and that must mean i looked like a total FOOL beside you oh my god im so sorry!!”
namjoon panics at that, about to cry when another realization hits him when he’s about to put his head on his hands
“then that means the friend who gave you the ticket was-”
SEOKJIN VBFHSBVHSFBVSFHDVBSJFV SFJVJSFVSJVSSV SSV V FS FSV SFBVRBVRSVSWVGU
he cries to your shoulder and you never expected to be hugging and consoling someone you’ve just met two hours ago, a more than fond smile on your face he takes advantage of when he sneaks in the chance to ask you
“do you mean that?”
“now why would i lie to the playwright who’s been listening to me talk shit, then theorizing, then crying for the past hour?”
it’s true though
namjoon’s seen it all
he’s still handsome as ever even when he sniffles, his dimples on display when you return his question
“now did you mean it? writing me into your play?”
why are you even ASKING
:D
he’s the biggest fan of u
namjoon’s made notes of your work, dedicated scripts to your movies, and he’s thinking about how it’s not yet hitting you how your whole epiphany about the pink sweater turning brown on his play,,, was entirely inspired from you and your affinity for lighting in your films
he thinks it’s still a little early to kiss you on the cheek even if you’ve already hugged, instead settling on pinching your cheek with satisfaction present in all corners
“you’ve always been my muse.”
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