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jungkxook · 3 years

Text

—hot boy bummer. (m)

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader

⟶ genre: fuckboy!jungkook / friends with benefits / friends to lovers + smut

⟶ words: 14,633

⟶ rating: 18+

�� summary: when jungkook offers you a proposition of just sex, no strings attached, how can you possibly say no? after all, what are best friends for?

⟶ warnings: kind of a crack fic, sprinkle of angst, way too casual conversations mid-sex, jealous jungkook, slight himbo jungkook tbh (he’s kind of a sweet loveable idiot), he also has a big dick oops, man bun and blonde jungkook to feed my fantasies!, multiple smut scenes!!!, missionary, dry humping, oral sex (m receiving), face fucking, unprotected sex, slight degradation (mostly jungkook hating himself), brief name calling, light choking, sort of praise kink

⟶ note: this was inspired by a number of things but mainly do me by kim petras being on jungkook’s spotify playlist, this tiktok sound, and this tumblr post lol also big thank you to @bratkook and @onherwings for letting me ramble on about this fic and reigniting my inspo for it 💛

( p.s. i tried to proofread this but if y’all see any typos no u didn’t, thank u <3 )

Being friends with Jungkook meant a myriad of things but mainly that there were hardly ever any boundaries that stood between you and him.

Having known him for most of your life, it was just a quintessential part of yours and his relationship with one another. From high school parties where you drunkenly spewed on his shoes and in his dad’s car after he tried lugging you home (and taking the fall all himself for your sake) to letting him lose his virginity in your bed to some girl you didn’t know because your parents were out of town and his would crucify him on the spot if they had found out; or him discovering your stash of vibrators in your dorm one day, or seeing each other naked more often than was probably necessary, there was nothing that either of you could do that would phase the other at this point even when it maybe, probably, definitely should.

College, and Jungkook’s sudden six pack of hard rock abs, only seemed to amplify the chaos of your friendship. If you’re being honest, the abs are sort of a plus ━ but they brought an air of fuckboy to him that is undeniably there even if he tries to deny it sometimes. You suppose it isn’t all his fault. Jungkook has always been bold and brash, attractively charming. Considering he’s seemingly made it his mission to sleep with every girl on campus before he graduates (undisclosed, if you’re being honest, because he’s never outwardly admitted it but you have a hunch), his confidence somehow hasn’t failed him yet.

But then there’s one night in which you think to yourself briefly: this surely must draw some sort of line.

“What if we, like, had sex?”

Jungkook says this a little too casually from beside you. He’s sat on the couch in his dorm, scrolling aimlessly on his phone, and you’re sprawled out on the remaining space, feet kicked up in his lap. You’re positive he’s drunk but, then again, so are you. The remnant shot glasses of soju you had both started the night with (though you think Jungkook’s had half the bottle himself), and your second glass of wine, are all evidence of that. You’re so absorbed by some anime Jungkook had been watching upon your arrival and refused to change that you almost don’t hear what he says. Almost. You do, however, nearly choke on the gummy bear you’ve just tossed into your mouth.

After a sudden hysterical fit of coughs, you manage to sputter, “Excuse me?”

“Like, hypothetically speaking.” He hardly budges when you turn to gawk at him, as if he’s asking you something as casual as what to eat for dinner or if you could pass him the T.V. remote. “Except, not really hypothetically.”

“You’re joking, right?” You scoff.

Jungkook blinks. “No. Why would I be joking?”

You blink. The longer you stare at him, the quicker you’re able to discern that there’s some sort of earnesty in his words and it slightly concerns you. Suddenly, you’re warm in the face. To distract from that painfully obvious fact, an incredulous laugh bubbles at your lips and you kick one of your feet at his thighs. “Very funny, Koo. Can we change the show now if you’re not even watching it?”

“I’m not joking, Y/N.” The severity in his tone makes you sit up at once. When you turn to look at him, he flashes you a taunting smirk, though the devious sparkle in his eyes lets you know this seems to be anything but a joke to him. “I’m sure you’ve thought of me naked before.”

“You’re such a fucking idiot━” Okay, so maybe you have thought of him naked before but how is it your fault when you literally have seen him naked before, and he’s so unabashed around you? “Should I bring you to a hospital to get your head checked, or━?”

“Just hear me out━” Now, he pushes himself to the edge of the sofa. “Why are you here right now?”

“In life? Because I honestly have no clue━”

“No, I meant here. Getting drunk in my apartment on a Friday night instead of getting railed.”

“Okay, I didn’t ask to get called out like that,” You grumble stiffly. “And because you’re my best friend, and I like spending time with you.” It’s not entirely a lie, because you would much rather spend time with Jungkook than anyone else. But when you feel his eyes boring into you in a look of scrutiny, your lips form into a pout which you try to hide by puckering them. “Also because boys are stupid and Hoseok’s blind date stood me up. Again.”

The events from hours earlier resurface in your memory, in which you had spent all evening making yourself look pretty for a boy you had only talked to through text that your roommate had introduced you to, only to arrive to the restaurant you were supposed to be meeting at and waiting there for half an hour by yourself before the boy had sent you a message saying something along the lines of “something came up, hope we can reschedule,” filing it under one of the lamest excuses you’ve ever heard because it hardly even borders on a valid excuse. It’s what had ultimately made you storm into Jungkook’s apartment an hour ago, exclaiming aloud as a greeting with a simple yet scarily cheerful I hate men! because Jungkook knows all about your plights with finding a significant other (or even just someone decent enough to open your legs to), usually lamenting men’s inability to have any emotions. Even the ones who you think are respectable enough, who say they’re fine not having sex on the first date, usually tend to flee right after you finally let them in because sex, as you come to find, seems to be all that men care about.

Admittedly, Jungkook is not any different.

“But it’s not like you’re any better.”

This seems to personally offend Jungkook. He looks at you cynically. “Me?”

“Tell me why you’re here with me on a Friday night when you’re literally one of the hottest guys on campus,” You point out. “You can get any girl, and yet you somehow manage to ruin it every single time. Like with Eunha.”

Jungkook winces. The poor Eunha in question is a pretty girl from your chem class, whomst Jungkook had somehow managed to charm. From what you know, they had hooked up a handful of times before that fateful night in which Jungkook had abruptly broken things off with her. If you’re being honest, he’s not a total monster. The only thing that seems to scare him away is when a girl asks to cuddle him in the morning or talks about the prospective future together. He doesn’t want to hurt them, he told you once before, and finds it much easier to nip any potential relationship in the bud before it can get too far, too out of control.

“We literally only slept together three times anyway and we never went out,” Jungkook points out. “What’s the big deal?”

A roll of your eyes doesn’t go unnoticed by Jungkook. “Yeah, it’s not her fault you’re scared of commitment.”

“Nu’uh,” The boy sulks. “I’m only scared of realistic things, like microwaves.”

A snort bubbles at your lips, and it’s frustrating how adorable he finds the simple action. Rather than entertain the thought of his irrational fear of kitchen appliances (because you’ve heard it all before, and you still can’t find where he was incited with the terror of an exploding microwave), you sit up.

“Jungkook, I don’t even like you like that.”

“I don’t like you like that either. That’s why it’s so perfect!” Jungkook says brightly. “Look, we know each other better than anyone else ever could. We’re already comfortable with each other. We don’t have to go through all that boring small talk. All I’m saying is we could give it a try. No relationship, no emotions, just sex.”

You consider the thought for a moment, weigh the pros and cons in your head.

The cons? He’s your best friend.

The pros? He’s your best friend, and he’s hot.

Truthfully, your slightly buzzed mind can find very little to dissuade you away from the inviting proposition and maybe that’s why you begin to entertain the idea. And, sure, you had just complained profusely about how men sometimes only used you for sex, but it’s not like you don’t have needs too. You just don’t have the gusto in you anymore to spend days on a boy who will only just leave you the moment you let him have sex with you. At least with Jungkook, he’s already offering you a blatant deal of sex only and you know you won’t have to worry about him breaking your heart; and he doesn’t have to worry about the dreaded dreamy post-sex cuddle talk of a future family and babies and a white picket-fence home. It’s a win-win for the both of you, really. Or maybe you’re just telling yourself that.

“How would we even start?” You ask finally. “I mean… Do you even find me attractive enough in that way?”

“Yeah.” Jungkook hardly bats a lash. He meets your stare, licks slowly at his lower lip. When he sees the cross look of disbelief scrunching at your face, he hastens to respond. “I’m not blind. You’re fucking drop dead gorgeous, Y/N.”

“But physically attractive? I’m no hot girl Eunha.”

“If I wanted Eunha, I’d be between her legs right now. Y/N, of course I think you’re attractive.” A gentle sliver of a smile dances upon his lips. He leans his head on the back of the couch, eyes fluttering over your appearance shortly. “I’ve always liked your lips, and your eyes. Think they’re beautiful.”

Suddenly, you’re flustered again. The room feels as if it’s getting increasingly warmer, yet you seem to want to bask in the feeling and attention a little longer. “That’s too sentimental.”

“It’s true though.”

“Well, you’re lucky I’ve always had a thing for idiots,” You jest playfully. “Jerks, too. Playboys who are too hot for their own good.”

“Ah, and I love it when you talk dirty to me.” A cheeky grin tugs at his lips as he clutches at his heart over his chest. “It’s a good thing I like it a little too much, knowing you’ll always keep me in check.”

But then the mirth seems to fade from your mind long enough for you to hum aloud pensively, “And I’ve always liked your eyes. I’ve never seen such big eyes before. Sometimes, if I look long enough, it’s like I can see the stars in them.”

As you’re speaking about them, his irises glisten magnificently. He bites at his lip now, as if to hide the way his soft smile turns sheepish. “I like your bum.”

“Really? I always worry it’s too flat.”

“Are you kidding? Your ass is a fucking god-send. It’s hard not to stare when you wear leggings sometimes,” Jungkook admits, earning a small giggle from you. “And I like your boobs. I’ve always wondered…” He trails off abruptly, shaking his head. He shoots you an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I’ll stop. I’m being an idiot, aren’t I?”

“Well, maybe I don’t want you to stop.”

Silence saturates the room now, settling comfortably between the two of you. He wonders what you’re thinking, and you wonder if he can hear your heart hammering against your chest. Perhaps on any other day when you were of sound mind, you could find a plethora of reasons as to why sleeping with your best friend was a terrible idea. But being that you were slightly tipsy, and Jungkook isn’t far off, you can find not one fault, except for maybe how tragically hot Jungkook looks sitting across from you and how he’s never been yours, at least in that way. Would it be so wrong to try just once?

You shift then, pushing yourself to your knees if only so you can worm your way towards him before swinging one leg over his. You settle back on his lap, hands gripping his shoulders. He can feel your core press against the inside of his thigh, just where his dick is nestled and he has to bite back a moan. His eyes are wider than usual, as if believing the moment to be surreal, though something sultry threatens to darken them.

“Y/N…”

The excitement crackles through your veins like electricity. You’ve never been in such a compromising position with Jungkook before, and you wonder if it should be concerning just how much you’re enjoying it. It almost feels as if time slows down, every second dragging on, yet he can’t look away. His hands come to tug at your hoodie (that he’s almost positive was his once upon a time before you nicked it from his closet) and you meet him part way, replacing his efforts as you pull it up and off your body. Then, you’re sitting back on his lap in your full nude glory, chest bare and right in his face. He eyes the swell of your breasts, the perk of your nipples. Of course you’re not wearing anything beneath your hoodie ━ and, god, he loves it.

“Touch me?”

Your voice comes to him in an almost dream. You reach for his hand then, your palm soft around his knuckles and the tattoos that ink his skin. It’s the same hand of which he wears the other half to your pair of friendship bracelets in one of his favourite colours of red, decorated with little pink hearts. It came in a matching set of two (yours in your own favourite colour, currently on the wrist of the hand you’re using to guide Jungkook’s), cute little macrame braid ones with hearts woven into the design that you had pointed out one day while you were both at the mall and he had bought without any hesitation mostly as a joke but resulted in both of you wearing them on a daily basis.

Now, all he can do is continue watching you with bated breath as you guide his hand right where you both want him. He comes to cup the underside of one of your breasts, your hand over his pressing his fingers tighter together until you can feel some sort of pleasant pressure. And, just like that, something feral and needy seems to snap within him. His hand slithers from your grasp if only so he can flick his thumb across your nipple, mesmerized by the softness of it. He’s only ever seen you naked once before and it was fleeting. You were both drunk, skinny dipping in a lake with a handful of other friends, but it had been too dark to notice much else. But now? Now, he can see all of you and the sight strikes a chord right down to his dick.

“You’re fucking beautiful,” Jungkook groans.

“Koo.” The cute little nickname you had given him sounds dirty now as it slips from your lips in a moan. “Too sentimental.”

But Jungkook isn’t listening because you really, really, really are so beautiful. He bows his head to your chest, catching one of your nipples in his mouth. He murmurs something against your chest that sounds akin to, “We can take things slow.”

“Slow…” Your head is spinning, but it’s a delightful sensation. Something hard pokes against your ass now, and the adrenaline only seems to build within you. It’s odd how everything feels so foreign ━ exploring his body and these newfound feelings like the uncharted territory it is ━ yet secure and safe at the same time. As if you know what to do next, where to touch next, how to move, your bodies almost fitting together like pieces to a puzzle. “Y-Yeah, I like that. Can I move?”

“Fuck, yes, please,” he growls. He’s much too busy nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin on your chest, teeth tugging at your nipple.

You hurry to obey, giving a small experimental swivel of your hips that almost immediately has the both of your inhaling a sharp breath of air. His dick strains against his sweatpants, the material doing very little in protecting him against you. Your core throbs as you rub yourself on him.

“Like this?” You rasp.

“Yeah, just like that.” Jungkook’s head rolls back onto the couch, his eyes squeezing shut and his blonde hair spilling into his eyes. He clenches his jaw, the nerves fluttering in the corner, as pure euphoria riddles his features. You don’t think you’ve ever seen anything so sexy. “Fuck, we probably shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Yeah,” You agree, breathless. “Do you wanna stop?”

“No. Do you?”

“No.”

“Thank god.” The sigh of relief that emits from Jungkook startles even him but, in the heat of the moment, he doesn’t register how any of this could be a mistake. “Ah, shit━ Faster━”

“Mmm, Koo━” You whimper as you quicken your pace, the vulgar harbored thought of his dick in you thrilling you to no end.

“Fuuck, I’ve never heard you sound like this before. So needy, so desperate,” Jungkook grunts, his fingers digging into your hips. And it’s all because of him, the way you’re feeling. He’s never wanted to hurry to please you faster, itching to tear you apart if he’ll get to hear those noises from you again and again. “I━”

He’s gonna cum, and he’s not even in your pussy. What’s gotten into him?

He presses you a little harsher against his dick, sitting up straighter so that his chest is pressed flush against yours. He leans forward, lips chasing after yours, before you pull back just enough sluggishly to press your finger to his mouth.

“Uh uh. No kissing,” You rasp.

The words process in Jungkook’s head, but the weight of them don’t seem to linger in his daze. He’s far too overwhelmed by you and the way you’re making him feel to even begin to try to decipher why you avoid his mouth and so, for now, he doesn’t care. Instead, he buries his face in the crook of your neck, nose nuzzling against your throat. You clutch at his hair, tugging at the roots tight enough for him to moan.

“Nnngh, Jungkook━” You whine. “I’m gonna━ Oh, fuck, Koo━”

And then you’re unravelling, right in his very arms. He holds you close as you tremble and shake, rutting your hips sloppily against his to ride out your high, and Jungkook thinks he can definitely get used to this. The familiar burn forms in his stomach and, without even thinking of it, he comes in the confinements of his pants.

But in the heat of the moment, he doesn’t notice quite a lot of things. Neither do you.

So, maybe you could both find a hundred and one reasons why having sex with your best friend would surely cross some lines, but the thing with you and Jungkook (and what would eventually blossom into a hubristic relationship of sorts) is that it wasn’t just sex. You would always be comfortable around him, as he would be with you. And nothing could ever possibly get weird between the two of you ━ not when you had both made a promise to each other that it wouldn’t get in the way of your friendship.

Because ━ while, yeah, he’s hot and suffers from fuckboy tendencies from time-to-time and, aside from random late night hookups ━ he was still the same boy that would drag you out at three in the morning to drive to the next city over for a bowl of ramen, who would marathon shows as long as One Piece or Game of Thrones with you, watching as much as you can in one all-nighter; who would come to your dorm, no matter the time of day, the moment you said you were sick or suffering from cramps, piled high with your favourite snacks; who shared a repertoire of silly inside jokes with you that never made any sense to anyone but the both of you; who insisted you both wear friendship bracelets even in college. He would always be an angel to you, treat you well, because you meant that much to him.

A small thought in the back of Jungkook’s head wonders, above all else, if you were anyone different, would he have even bothered suggesting such a ludicrous idea, drunk or not?

Because he’s positive no one else could make him cum in his pants like a horny prepubescent teen ━ no one except for you.

“If we’re really gonna do this, we need to set some ground rules.”

Admittedly, neither you nor Jungkook knew what would happen after Jungkook’s proposition to you. Maybe you were expecting the two of you to pretend as if nothing had ever happened, or laugh it off as something so inconsequential that neither of you should bother worrying about it. Instead, the very next day, you find that you’re back in Jungkook’s dorm. Only this time, you’re in his bed, and he spent the past half hour sufficiently eating you out.

Now, you’ve had an epiphany in the form of Jungkook’s dick, and that is that it’s big.

You’ve seen it before on occasion ━ like when he streaked nude across campus as a dare or when he needed to use your shower because his apartment was under maintenance and he walked out on you in the living room ━ but this is clearly a very different circumstance. All red, swollen, angry tip wet and glistening with precum. You had to brace yourself as he pushed himself into you, cautiously and slowly, enjoying the way you stretch to fit around him. If you had a drunken excuse the night before for loving the thought of getting off with Jungkook, then you surely don’t have one now. It’s a shameless guilty pleasure, you think, that he’s at least indulging in.

“Rules,” Jungkook scoffs now. “You’re such a nerd. Fuck, you feel so fucking good━ You doing okay?”

More than. Your head lolls back against his pillow, eyes nearly rolling to the back of your head. “Mhm.”

“Want a minute?”

“Maybe.”

Jungkook pauses without any hesitation, gnawing on his lower lip as your walls clench around him so tightly he feels he might fall apart then and there. His hands are on your hips, thumbs rubbing comforting circles against your burning skin. A few deep breaths later and you’re probing Jungkook to move again. His hips rut into yours at a leisure pace, and he marvels for a moment at the way his dick disappears into your pussy, slick and wet with your own arousal. The thought of being in you ━ of finally feeling your walls wrapped around him, all wet and snug ━ is enough to make him bust then and there, but he refrains miraculously.

“Holy fuck,” You groan. “Why are you so big━”

Your voice cuts off into a delightful whimper, walls aching around him. Jungkook snorts, burrowing his face in the crook of your neck. “Nothing sexier than hearing you stroke my ego.”

“Don’t let it get to your already big head,” You retort sluggishly.

“Big head!” he grumbles against your throat, lips brushing faintly against your skin and sending shivers down your spine. “Insult me some more. You know how it gets me going.”

“Oh my god, shut up. Where were we?”

“Rules.”

“Right,” You breathe in a sharp inhale of air as he grinds against your hips. “And rule number one is no kissing. That’s way too intimate.”

Jungkook quirks a brow. “How is kissing more intimate than having my dick in you?”

“It just is.” You refuse to tell him the truth. You poke your fingers at his sides, causing him to jerk against you. “Don’t question it.”

“Fine. Then no sentimental shit in general, like cuddling or pet names,” Jungkook retorts. “And no public displays of affection.”

“Okay,” You nod. “Fuck, Jungkook━”

“God, I love hearing you moan my name,” Jungkook grunts. He watches with fascination the way your face reacts at his every movement. “Too much?”

“No. Kinda hot,” You admit. An abrupt thought pops into your head that has you murmuring hazily, “Oh, and you can’t have sex with me to your sex playlist.”

Jungkook looks appalled. The sex playlist in question is one you’ve heard briefly before, if only because you’ve walked in on Jungkook and his flavour of the month a handful of times one too many times.

“So you’re telling me you don’t want to have the best orgasm of your life to The Weeknd or the Neighbourhood? WAP?” Jungkook asks, wriggling his brows suggestively. “Alanis Morissette?” You have less than half a second to register the 90s pop singer as out of place before Jungkook breaks out into song with a brief rendition of Head over Feet. “You’re my best friend, best friend with benefits━!”

Part of you knows he’s joking, but there’s still a small sliver of you that makes you gawk at him dubiously before dissolving into a fit of unabashed laughter. It rumbles against his chest, vibrates his dick in you. “You’re not serious, are you? That’s not actually in your sex playlist, is it?”

He flashes you a shit-eating grin. “Guess you’ll never know now.”

Another roll of your eyes makes him snicker. He’s gotten used to your snide remarks, but he’ll gladly keep suffering under them if he gets to wipe that taunting smirk off your face each time with the way his dick makes you feel. You cling a little tighter to his shoulders and muse aloud, “So that’s it then?”

“Yeah━” Jungkook knows you’re referring to the rules and your plan, although it’s getting harder to focus on talking as he continues to grind against you. “And nothing has to change between us, even if we stop. We’re still just two best friends.”

“Yup.”

“Who have sex from time to time.”

“Yeah.”

He can’t help himself. He tries again. “Who might kiss.”

“Nope.” You’re smiling even despite the way you shoot him an aggravated stare first.

“We might?”

“No, we definitely won’t.”

Worth a shot, he thinks to himself. At least you really do always keep him in check.

After all, what are best friends for?

So, maybe a part of you thought the shift in your relationship with Jungkook wouldn’t last very long. A week at most, and maybe Hoseok would find you another pointless let down of a blind date to go on and Jungkook would get horny for some other girl ━ but it’s certainly been more than a week now, and you’ve had sex with him more than two times.

A third, and a fourth, if you’re being blatantly honest, and maybe a few more times after that but you don’t really remember what count you’re both on now which should probably be concerning. Days elapse into days, which turn to weeks, then months. Morning, afternoon, and night.

It’s not as if you hadn’t already spent almost every waking moment with Jungkook but now you had a reason to be at his apartment at any and all hours of the day and not solely for movie watching marathons. You’re positive he’s still having his occasional random flings, though you’re fortunate his commitment issues at least force him to go to their homes rather than his for the most part, so you never really have to witness half-naked girls stumbling out of his apartment just as you’re wandering in. He says it has something to do with how his bedroom is his sacred space, though you think it’s more like he wouldn’t want his hook ups discovering his Overwatch figurines or something (because, before Jungkook’s proposition, you’ve walked in on him once and a girl when they were entangled on the couch in his living room).

But you’ve noticed lately you’re getting too comfortable with your arrangement with Jungkook; too comfortable knowing he’ll be there at the end of a long day to greet you, to please you until you’re crying out his name. Sometimes he tells you about the girls he’s texting, or shows you a picture from a hot girl’s Instagram whose D.M.s he’s just slid into. And sometimes you’re left wondering how often he comes straight to you after hooking up with a random girl.

It shouldn’t matter to you, and you swear that it doesn’t.

Maybe you’re just overthinking things. Hoseok certainly seems to think so, but his judgement wasn’t much to go by.

Because, lately, Hoseok has been encouraging you more and more to give Yukhei (the blind date Hoseok had initially set you up with when you found yourself at Jungkook’s) another chance for two reasons: 1) “Yukhei’s a nice boy,” he had cheerfully reminded you, “he’ll treat you well,” and 2) “Stop fucking your best friend. It’s morally wrong.”

There were many things wrong with his statement, from the fact that you didn’t exactly consider standing up a date as “nice” and that you were also still begrudgingly lamenting the way Hoseok had discovered your recent fling with Jungkook (although, you weren’t being very inconspicuous, having shower sex with Jungkook early one morning when you were certain Hoseok would be spending the day at his fiance’s home instead of yours).

But then you meet Yukhei and you realize that, oh crap, he’s cute. And he’s nice.

As it turns out, after bumping into him one day when you’re with Hoseok lounging on the quad of your campus and he comes bounding over to return a textbook Hoseok had lent him for a specific class, Yukhei is so easily charming. He also gives a pretty valid excuse for flaking on your date, proving that he had to present his dissertation, making you clearly aware that he’s cute, nice, and smart. Jungkook, on the other hand, doesn’t see the appeal, yet his curiosity and intrigue seems to get the best of him.

“So that was your blind date?” Jungkook asks after grabbing your attention on the quad and stealing you away from Hoseok and Yukhei. “Yukhei?”

“You know him?”

“Seen him around,” Jungkook shrugs nonchalantly. “I’ve never really talked to him. But him? You’re not telling me you’re actually interested in him, are you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe,” You’re truly just as clueless about your feelings towards Yukhei as Jungkook seems to be. “What’s so wrong about him?”

“He’s━” Jungkook stops. He shakes his head. “Heard he’s got a small dick anyway.”

You shoot the boy a wary look, only to find him grinning deviously at himself. “Maybe he just wants to be friends.”

At this, Jungkook lets out a scoffing sound that borders on disbelieving laughter. “No, I definitely think he wants to have sex with you in his Toyota Camry, Y/N, but what do I know?”

“You’re not jealous, are you?”

“No, why would I be jealous?”

You can’t quite tell if he’s angry or not but, then again, why would he be? As far as either of you are concerned, there’s nothing to be jealous of.

So then why does it feel like he’s simply just telling himself that?

“Are you seriously on your phone right now?”

Jungkook asks this from somewhere behind you a handful of days later, a little peeved but most likely because your jarring 8:00 a.m. alarm had roused the both of you violently awake. In his defense, Jungkook is not a morning person.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You’re currently sprawled out on your hands and knees on his bed, phone still in your grasp after having plucked it off the nightstand in haste. Your clothes are scattered across the floor of his room, remnant clues of the night before when he had beckoned you over after hours, and your body is covered in nothing but hickeys and an unbuttoned blue flannel belonging to Jungkook that you had chucked on last night that does nothing in covering up the swell of your breasts which Jungkook is now currently eyeing. “Am I not giving you enough attention? Were you expecting cuddles or something? Thought that wasn’t in the rules.”

“No,” Jungkook huffs. He runs a hand through his long messy hair in an attempt to fix it; he ultimately gives up taming his locks, instead using the hair tie around his wrist to tie his hair back into a cute yet sexy little ponytail. As he does so, you notice the red friendship bracelet around his wrist and smile smally. “But my dick could use some cuddles. Preferably with your mouth, but it will also gladly accept your hand.”

Jungkook may not be a morning person but, as you’ve come to realize, his dick certainly is.

It’s painfully obvious too, his hardened length straining against the gray sweatpants he had thrown on at some point. And, god, did he have to wear those? It left little to the imagination, the outline of his length teasing you just enough.

“I should get going,” You say. “I have a test coming up. There’s supposed to be a review session today in class, and I don’t want to miss it.”

“Well, you don’t seem like you’re in a rush since you’re still on your phone,” Jungkook points out. “Who are you texting anyway? Yukhei?”

“Anger is an emotion,” You rebuke casually. “So is jealousy.”

Jungkook feigns a look of mock hurt. “I’m not angry or jealous! I’m needy.”

Still, Jungkook reaches out to swiftly pluck your phone from your hands.

“Jungkook━!”

He’s pressed up against your back in an instant, his dick hard against your ass, and he doesn’t move very far even when you twist in your spot in an attempt to grab your phone back. You don’t, and instead you end up on your back with him on his side, propped up on his elbow. You miss when he casts a swift gaze down at your phone, only to see that Yukhei’s chat messages are indeed open, and something seems to gnaw terribly at his gut before he tosses your phone to the side. He’s looking at you now with those big beautiful eyes of his, and you hate it.

“Please?” he beckons. He ruts his hips impatiently but slowly against your leg. He drops his head to bury his face in the crook of your neck, lips dangerously close to brushing against your flesh but he refrains somehow. “M’so hard right now, could probably bust the moment you touch me.”

The thought is tempting, having a helpless Jungkook cumming in your hands. The sight alone has quickly become your favourite thing, helping the frustrated boy get off. Besides, you’re certain you could ask Hoseok for the review notes.

Fuck it, you cave.

You fidget until you’ve pressed him back against the bed and have clambered on top of him, wiggling your way down to fit between his legs. Jungkook is watching you now with a half-asleep expression, though his teeth sink into his lower lip as you pull at his sweatpants until they’re down at his thighs, letting his swollen dick spring free.

“You know━” You hum. You reach out to grab at the base of his cock. “Yukhei wants to hang out, and Hoseok keeps telling me to give it a shot.”

That much is true. Part of you wants to say yes, if only because Yukhei seems promising enough, but the thought alone is enough for you to feel as if you’ve done something horribly wrong to Jungkook.

“Oh.” The word eclipses Jungkook’s mouth in a shallow breath of air. Then, your mouth wraps around the puffy head of his dick, shining with leaking precum that you swallow back, and Jungkook’s reaction is immediate. Head thrown back, face scrunching together, muscles in his toned abdomen flexing as he seizes and grunts aloud. “Oh, fuck━ Well… Are you gonna?”

Jungkook asks the last question with much difficulty, and a part of him thinks it doesn’t all have to do with how you’re making him feel.

“Dunno.” You snort around his dick, and he marvels at how adorable such a lewd action can seem.

You decide to focus on sucking him off because it truly is a sexy sight to see, letting the topic of Yukhei drop. Jungkook certainly doesn’t mind. As you swirl your tongue around his tip and reach up with your free hand to fondle at his balls, his long hair falls into his lashes but he still tries to find you past his wild locks, hooded eyes gazing down at you.

“Ah, shit━” Jungkook hisses delightfully, hips jerking forward instinctively into your mouth. The faintest hints of a drowsy smirk tug at his lips. “Fuck, yes, just like that.”

Yeah, you think to yourself then, you’re definitely going to ride him later. Screw going to class.

From: Jungkook Sent: 1:05 a.m.

bro i noticed u werent wearing our friendship bracelet while u were giving me head earlier. is everything ok??

You wake in the morning to a single text from Jungkook ━ and one you had not been expecting.

That’s not to say that getting the occasional text message from Jungkook at any and all hours of the day was abnormal, but the extent of his messages sent anywhere past midnight usually always range from something more coherent in the form of “what would u do if i was there rn?” to something exuding typical lazy Jungkook manner with a simple “dtf?” or “send noods lol” to something even more provocatively cryptic such as the eggplant and splashing water (or, as far as Jungkook is concerned, something else entirely) emojis and nothing else, left open for your own interpretation that typically, usually, without a doubt, results in you in his bed and his dick in you. But this seems to be something else entirely.

Unfortunately, Jungkook’s text isn’t the only concern of yours.

Hoseok has spent the better part of the morning giving you a lecture on why having sex with your best friend is bad. He seems so passionate about the topic that you’re certain he would have pulled out a powerpoint at any moment, each slide ending in a picture of Yukhei and why you should maybe try fucking him instead, if you entertained the idea a little longer. Hoseok claims it’s just a harmless date. Yukhei might be a nice boy, but you don’t know how you feel about him. You don’t want to lead him on, and a scary thought points out the fact that maybe, while Yukhei is a nice boy, he isn’t Jungkook.

“I don’t get why you don’t just give Yukhei a chance━” Hoseok is saying now, sat on the couch in your shared apartment with him. “It’s not like you have to marry him. I don’t think one date will hurt━ Aaand, you’re not even listening to me anymore, are you?”

The sheepish look on your face is enough of an answer for him. You’ve been anxiously eyeing your phone and the text Jungkook had sent you last that you’ve yet to respond to, even despite being awake for more than a few hours now.

“Yes, I am listening,” You say dismissively. “Something about how one date won’t hurt, but that’s what you said when Yoongi asked you out, and you’re literally engaged now.”

The glistening metallic ring on Hoseok’s finger is evidence enough. The boy looks down at it as if seeing it for the first time, purses his lips, and then nods in agreement. “Okay, yeah, maybe you’re right. But you’re holding out for Jungkook and for what? He’s hot, yeah, and he’s your best friend, sure, but at the end of the day he’s still just a horny male who wants to stick his dick in anything that moves.”

“Hoseok.” Your grumbling sigh is interrupted by the motion of your phone vibrating against your thigh once more. You peek at the screen fleetingly to see a new text.

From: Jungkook Sent: 2:35 p.m.

send n00ds?

miss ur tits :(

Typical Jungkook.

The text from the night before is all but seemingly forgotten from his mind, and you can’t quite tell if you’re devastated or relieved. You don’t have very long to discern which emotion you’re feeling when Hoseok snatches your phone to look at what’s gotten your attention before exclaiming suddenly, “Aha! See! What did I say?”

“It’s not like that,” You wave Hoseok off. “Jungkook treats me well. He respects me, and I’m comfortable with him.”

“And how long until whatever this is━” He gestures vaguely to your phone as if to point out your relationship with Jungkook, “has to end? Do you really think a pinky promise is going to make sure your friendship with him isn’t totally ruined? I mean, how can you continue being casual friends with someone, see them dating someone else, when they’ve had their dick in you?”

You know it makes sense. Realistically, you either stop sleeping with each other or it potentially develops into something more. But in both circumstances, what were the chances that either of you didn’t get your heart broken? Maybe a part of you was apprehensive of Jungkook finding the “right” person for him one day that has him ending things with you, and while you swear you’d be happy for him, relationships sometimes have a way of distracting people from those already around them. Were you prepared to have someone take him away from you, platonically and whatever it is else that you have with him? Did you really think you could just keep being friends with him, as if nothing ever occurred between you two?

You don’t think Jungkook is bothered worrying about the state of your friendship with him, much less overthinking it like you seem to be. It shouldn’t be a big deal ━ yet why was there still that terrible nagging voice in the back of your mind? Whether or not Hoseok is right, you don’t want to find out. You don’t have feelings for Jungkook anyway.

But your ability to bend at his every will is certainly interesting.

You grab your phone before Hoseok can do any serious damage like unlocking it and responding to Jungkook, clutching it to your chest as you start to cross the living room. The other boy looks at you in bewilderment. “Where are you going now?”

“Where does it look?” You call over your shoulder just before you disappear into the bathroom, and Hoseok deduces all at once that you’re truly a lost cause. “I need to send him a picture of my boobs.”

“He’s totally into you, Y/N.”

Admittedly, there were many mundane but essentially weird things you’ve talked to Jungkook about while having sex. You’ve had many heated debates about everything under the sun from whether or not pineapple on pizza should be illegal to top five betrayals in either movies or animes, to passionate grand philosophical discussions about what exists outside of the universe.

It’s not as if you had been planning on talking about Yukhei to Jungkook when he had invited you over to his apartment late at night after sending your risqué boob picture to him but, like many things in your friendship with Jungkook, it sort of just happened. He had asked you how your day was and you had decided to broach the topic experimentally, though you think deep down you’re doing it on purpose to see if he’d react in any way. What started with you mentioning Hoseok’s adamance and you sort of genuinely asking Jungkook for advice on Yukhei somehow evolved into Jungkook interrogating you on whether or not you’ve hung out with him yet.

“Jungkook. You’re getting off topic,” You admonish him now, as if your own choice of topic is any better when his dick is currently in you.

Jungkook is wedged between your thighs smushed up against your chest, large palms holding you on your ribcage in place beneath him. He’s a comfortable heavy draped over top of you, cock stretching you wide. You can feel his heart hammering against yours and he’s slick with sweat, golden hair clinging to his forehead and in his pretty eyes. You resist the urge to reach out and brush the messy locks away but, again, how would that be any less intimate of an action than what you’re already doing? Another line uncrossed, you suppose.

“How am I off topic?” Jungkook retorts. “You literally just said you can’t tell if he’s into you but he dropped by when you were done class and bought you lunch. You don’t just do that for a girl you don’t care that much about.”

“You buy me lunch, like, every day,” You point out.

“Because you’re my best friend. Of course I care about you,” Jungkook says.

“Ah, Jungkook━” You curse suddenly, grabbing his attention when you shift your weight beneath him. “You’re crushing me. Why’d you stop moving?”

He doesn’t have an answer, if only because he hadn’t even realized he’d stop moving in the first place. Without hesitation, he continues leisurely rutting his hips against yours, grabbing at one of your legs to hook it around his waist. This new angle lets you feel even more of him as he sinks further into you, if that was even still possible, reaching so far into you that you swear it’s like you can feel him in your stomach. Your head lolls back against the pillows, pure euphoria contorting your face so much so to the point that it distracts you entirely from the distant look glazing over Jungkook’s eyes.

“Yukhei definitely wants to bang,” he huffs under his breath.

At once, an exasperated groan fills his ears.

“I can’t believe we’re seriously having this conversation right now,” You roll your eyes, fingers prodding at his sides. “I don’t wanna talk about Yukhei potentially wanting to have sex with me.”

Jungkook’s glad you said it, at least. Though now he’s watching you with hooded eyes as he thrusts into you a little harder, maybe a little intentionally. His indulgent gaze droops to your breasts, admiring the way they bounce beneath him each time his hips make contact with yours. He thinks back earlier in the day to the picture you had sent him which, really, had sparked the mood for the rest of the night.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he whines abruptly. His eyes screw shut and brows furrow together as your walls clench around him. He drops his head to bury his face in your chest, lips momentarily wrapping around one of your nipples as he sucks harshly at the soft flesh. When he speaks next, forehead still resting against your collarbones, his voice is a breathless croak, “Well, do you like him?”

“No,” You moan. “Maybe━ Fuck, Koo━ I don’t know.”

“He’s gonna be at that party Tae’s throwing, isn’t he?” Jungkook tries to focus, but it’s becoming increasingly harder to do so when he’s inching closer and closer to his high. “Shit, ah, Y/N━ Why don’t you try talking to him or something? See how the night goes?”

“He’s nice but I don’t think he’s the one for me,” You admit sheepishly. “I think I’m just gonna end things while I still can, with as little harm as possible.”

“Well, glad that’s settled,” Jungkook mumbles. “Can we please stop talking about Yukhei now?”

You seem to miss the way he clings to you a little tighter, hands flying down to grip at your hips, nails digging crescent moon shapes into your skin. He snaps his hips into yours a little faster this time, your pussy throbbing around him.

“Nngh, Jungkook━”

Your hands fumble to grip at his hair, tugging tightly at the roots and earning a delightful hiss from the boy. Your own mouth drops open in a silent moan and it’s a wonder he doesn’t combust at just how sexy the sight is. He hates how his eyes stay trained on the shape of your lips, the soft plumpness of them. He’s felt them wrapped around his dick plenty of times before but he concedes that it’s probably hardly anywhere near to how it would feel to kiss you. Like actually kiss you, tongue and all.

God, what’d he give just to smother your lips with his.

And, god, he hopes you never find out. He’s positive that thought is far more scandalous alone than anything you’ve ever done together.

You’re writhing beneath him now, hips jutting forward desperately to meet his. “I’m gonna cum, Jungkook━”

“Fuck, yes,” Jungkook growls. “Wanna feel you cream around my cock so bad. Come on, baby━”

In the heat of the moment, you seem to miss the pet name that slurs off his tongue and the sentiment in it. A few more jolting slams of his hips and you’re tumbling over the edge. He has to sputter for air when he feels your pussy wrapping so tightly around him, stuttering in his pace above you if only to watch as you unravel beneath him. Hooded dark eyes glazed over in that perfect fucked out expression he loves so much, teeth biting at your lower lip so hard he wonders if it’ll bruise in the morning.

A sudden thought pops into his head when you’ve settled enough, amongst the blinding pure white of bliss that clouds his thoughts. “Did you get my text by the way? The one I sent last night?”

You gasp for air. The bracelet on your wrist itches at the mention of it, and you’re fortunate you decided to wear it that afternoon before coming to Jungkook’s. “Y-Yeah━”

“Well…?”

“Everything’s fine,” You say this as dismissively as you can. Your core is still vibrating after the harsh impact of your orgasm paired with Jungkook’s swollen length still in you. “I just… I was taking a shower and didn’t want to get it wet. I forgot to put it back on in the morning.”

That’s a lie. You had mostly taken it off as part of an experiment, though it hasn’t answered much. At least Jungkook doesn’t seem to realize that.

“Oh,” Jungkook breathes. A beat of silence passes, before he deadpans cockily, “Wait, you were taking a shower and I wasn’t invited?”

“Oh my god, shut up━” Maybe if he hadn’t just currently driven you to nirvana and back, you’d notice the way the sloppy grin on his face is a simple taunt. But you’re much too distracted to care. Instead, you use your leg that’s still hooked around his waist to gently push and roll him onto his back so that you can straddle his hips. His eyes sparkle mischievously as he watches you waste no time in hurrying to grind against him at an agonizingly steady pace that makes his head spin. “You’re ruining the moment. I’m trying to make you cum.”

A devious cackle rumbles from his chest, albeit a little contented at the same time. Yeah, he definitely likes the sound of that. “Well then, by all means, don’t let me stop you.”

It’s only then that his question comes back into your mind. If he felt the need to ask you again about the bracelet, maybe that meant something after all. At the very least, it means he hadn’t forgotten about it altogether. On the other hand, you wonder how often he had spent thinking, or over-thinking, the issue in the past twenty-four hours, if at all.

Was it wrong to feel some semblance of joy over that potential fact? Probably.

That doesn’t seem to bother you much this time. Not when he’s gazing up at you as if you’re some divine sexy goddess, all his to enjoy. You can’t help yourself; you reach down to brush the sweaty hair from his eyes, perhaps all too gentle of an action for best friends.

And he smiles, maybe a little too softly and maybe a little too ardently if you look close enough.

He smiles.

The thing about your supposed “rules” with your relationship with Jungkook is that there might be a few loose ends that neither you nor Jungkook pay much attention to sometimes.

But that’s neither here nor there.

Mostly, the “no public displays of affection” clause is easily disregardable. It’s typically when you’re too drunk to remember it and a bit needy, craving one another’s touch, but those around you never truly seem to care or even notice because, if you’re lucky, they’re equally as smashed. Sometimes the “no cuddles” clause blurs into a gray area where it’s simply just you and Jungkook post-sex, sprawled out in his bed, not necessarily wrapped up in one another’s arms and cooing sweet nothings to one another but giggling at nothing in particular except one another as you bask in each other’s company and nothing more. You suppose some rules are meant to be broken.

For the most part, Jungkook never seems to question the no kissing rule you were so adamant in insisting. Not until one night in which you’re left wondering where things go so drastically wrong. It starts off as normally as any other day with you and Jungkook can, spent in his apartment binge watching movies. You hadn’t expected that night to switch as suddenly as it does when Jungkook shoots you a text earlier in the day asking if you want to come to his for a night of casual drinking as simply “best friends.” But, as always, one thing seems to lead to another, and you can’t get enough of Jungkook. Maybe it’s in the way he holds you a little tighter, the way he tugs you onto his lap on the sofa in his living room, the way he grips your thighs with a certain type of insatiable desire.

“You know…” he hums. “You drive me insane. In, like, the best way possible.”

Part of you realizes his actions even without him seeming to, and the drunken smile on your face remaining frozen in place, a little dumbfounded. “Jungkook…”

“When I’m with you…” He lifts his stare to look at you, but you have nothing to say. Neither does he. Instead, you’re left grinning at one another and suddenly your face is warm. He leans towards you, his nose nuzzling against the side of your throat. Your hands stay threaded in his hair now, and he swears he feels you secure your grip as if to pull him closer.

You can feel his lips brush faintly against your skin, grazing along your neck to the underside of your jaw. Up, up, up, until━

It’s just as his mouth meets with the corner of yours that you register what he’s doing, even in your clouded state. You turn your head just in time, and he comes to an immediate halt, his lips barely making contact with your cheek instead before he pulls away. He doesn’t move very far but you also don’t push him away just yet. Instead, you shift your head to look at him, still inches apart from him.

“What are you doing?” You ask. He can’t quite tell if you’re appalled or not, an empty expression staring back at him.

“I━ You━” He fumbles over his words, squeezes his eyes shut. He blames it on the alcohol even though his head is swimming with thoughts that seem to only concern you. But then a fierceness seems to stir within him, one that makes his jaw clench as he meets your stunned stare. The question rolls off his tongue without meaning to. “Is this about Yukhei?”

“What?”

“Is that why you weren’t wearing our bracelet the other day?”

The question is so ridiculous, you have to laugh. “What are you going on about?”

But Jungkook doesn’t see what’s so funny and so he tries again, his persistence taking hold. “Is that why you won’t ever let me kiss you?”

You blink. Then, you’re shaking your head at him. Exasperation hangs heavy in your words, shaping in the form of a tired scoff. “You’re not serious.”

You’ve slithered off of his lap before he can even think to stop you ━ but if he had, would you have even stayed? You’re mad, but he doesn’t know why. “No, I wanna know. Because if what we have is already so meaningless, what makes a kiss any different?”

“Jungkook…”

“So I wanna know,” he says, brows unconsciously knitting together. His gaze is searching yours desperately, as if begging for an answer he’ll want to hear. But he knows he’s being an idiot, a small sober part in him makes him realize that. “Humour me. Have you had sex with him yet?”

“Oh my god. I can’t believe that’s what you’re on about.” Suddenly, you’re frowning. Your hardened stare meets the boy’s and the irritation that scrunches at your face makes him wince, but it’s too late for him to take back the damage that he’s done. “Yeah, Jungkook, we fucked in his stupid Toyota that you hate so much and he choked me and I liked it. He did all sorts of dirty things to me. Is that what you want to hear?” The sardonic tone hisses at his ears, but he bites back his words, the sober part in him doing some decent good by shushing him. “No, Jungkook, we didn’t fuck. We haven’t even gone on a date, and I don’t even know if I want to, and you think I’m throwing myself at him.”

“But you wanna.”

“You’re being an idiot,” You admonish. “I’m going home. Talk to me when you’re sober.”

He has just enough time to watch you turn on your heel, march towards his door, when he scrambles to his feet. The weight of his words and actions finally seem to dawn on him, hitting him harshly in the face and in the heart.

“Fuck, wait! Wait━” he gasps.

He chases after you, hand reaching out to press his palm against the door before you can shimmy it open. He’s fortunate when you turn to look at him, though your arms are folded impatiently over your chest.

“You’re right. I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you mad,” he promises earnestly. Then, he lets out a frustrated groan. “I just… What if we… Shit, what if we stop for right now? Y’know… Hooking up. Whatever this is.”

He gestures vaguely between the two of you with his hands, a wearied look plastering his face.

You hate to admit how his words seem to affect you. They bite at the air, leave you breathless as you gawk at him, but the harsh realization of it all is that you were never his to have and he was never yours. Hoseok had been right when he said these things were bound to come to an end ━ so why did it seem to hurt you so much?

A beat of prolonged silence passes between the two of you. Jungkook runs a hand through his chaotic blonde hair, digging the heel of his palm into his temple as if to rid himself of a headache he’s no doubt sporting. Maybe you’re waiting for a better explanation, but he gives none, and you don’t feel as if you have the right to ask why. He’s not your boyfriend, for god’s sake. It’s not like he’s breaking your heart.

Instead, you take a deep breath and say, “Okay.”

“Okay.” It’s all that he says in return.

So then why does it feel like he is?

When Jungkook had promised that if your fling with him ended you would go back to being untainted best friends, he was apparently lying.

A part of you can’t believe the sheer nerve of him to ghost you in his traditional fuckboy ways, and yet he does. You suppose not entirely, at the very least. Part of it ends up with you being even more vexed by his sudden shift in emotion, and the tangible tension that rises between the two of you should have been dealt with properly, yet neither of you do anything about it, leaving your friendship stagnant and stale for a week. After all, how are you really supposed to go back to “just friends” when you’ve seen his dick one too many times?

You refrain from telling Hoseok, if only so you don’t have to hear him tell you he told you so ━ but you also decide to give Yukhei that one chance, and so you think Hoseok wouldn’t mind so much anyway.

Admittedly, when Yukhei asks to hang with you at Taehyung’s eventual party, you aren’t entirely too keen, but you accept it if only because you heard Jungkook will be there too. For the majority of the night, you don’t see the boy, and you spend the hours cozying up with Yukhei in a conversation that dulls you. As it would appear, it seems to bore Yukhei too, but you only notice that when he starts touching you on your waist and the small of your back. There’s a moment where he leans his head close enough to yours that you realize he’s trying to kiss you, resulting in an awkward encounter in which you push him away, palms on his chest.

“What’s wrong?” he asks. The answer is obvious enough to you, but you don’t think you should tell him for his own dignity. That, instead, all you can imagine is Jungkook in his place. “Should we get out of here?”

“Y/N. Can I talk to you?”

You’re both fortunate yet horrified when you hear Jungkook’s voice. He’s standing just behind you, his own stare devoid of any emotion, though his brows furrow and his jaw clenches in a signature Jungkook manner that you know means he’s pissed. He hardly acknowledges Yukhei, nodding in his general direction. You don’t remember if you leave Yukhei there or if he leaves, or if Jungkook even gives a poor attempt of an excuse to the boy, but you’ve not so much as uttered a single word or let out an exhalation of air, when Jungkook ultimately pulls you off to the side where it’s just you and him once more.

“I’m not sucking your dick in Tae’s grimy bathroom, if that’s what you want,” You scowl once Yukhei is out of earshot. “You’ve lost the privilege that is my mouth.”

“That’s not━” Jungkook shakes his head, exasperated. “That’s not what I want. I just━ I’ll take you home. Please?”

You know the offer is much more than him simply walking you the route to your dorm, which you already know like the back of your hand. Yet, you don’t argue. Truthfully, it’s a relief when Jungkook lugs you out of the party. The entire venture back to your apartment is treacherous, in the way that you’re left sobering up enough to the point that your dizzying thoughts become more coherent. Hoseok is gone for the weekend at least, spending the days with his fiance, so you don’t have to worry about humiliating yourself in front of your roommate when it comes to Jungkook.

You’ve barely made it through your front door when you’re grumbling aloud, “What do you want, Jungkook?”

“I wanna talk,” he says firmly. “About us. About Yukhei.”

“Maybe I don’t want to.” But that’s a lie. Talking to Jungkook, even despite masquerading your annoyance for him, is a blessing in disguise. You’ve missed the idiot, and hearing his voice. “Besides, you told me to give him a chance.”

“And you said you didn’t want to.”

“Maybe I changed my mind.”

“Yeah, you sure seemed like you loved it when he was trying to shove his tongue down your throat,” Jungkook retorts bitterly. “C’mon, Y/N. We both know that’s a lie.”

“You know, you’ve been a real dick lately.”

A sliver of a smirk tugs at Jungkook’s face. “I thought you love dick.”

Clearly, his poor attempt at a joke doesn’t land well with you. “Why do you even care so much if Yukhei and I get together? Stop acting so high and mighty and moral, Jungkook. It’s not like you’re some virgin saint. How many times have I heard you talk about all those girls you’ve fucked? And what was I? Just another notch in your belt this whole time?”

“What?” Jungkook gasps now, as if disbelieving you would ever think such a thing. “No! You’re not just another notch. I would never even think about you that way. And I haven’t had sex with anyone else but you this whole time and I easily could have.”

“Wow! Such a martyr,” You remark dryly. When you speak next, you meet his stare with your own crestfallen gaze. “I just want my best friend back.” Your words hurt him more than you think, but he can’t say he doesn’t deserve it. “You’re the one who tried to kiss me, then suggested we stop whatever it is we’re doing━”

Jungkook flinches. “I know.”

“Then you ignore me for days even though you promised nothing would change━”

“I know,” he says desperately. He closes the distance between the two of you, yearning to reach out and touch you. Instead, he clamps his eyes shut, trying with all his might to focus when the room feels like it’s spinning.

“And then you get mad when Yukhei tries to make a move. It’s like you’re jealous or something!”

“I am.” He can’t take it anymore. The words tumble from his lips in a rush that he hardly bothers to bite back.

“Why?”

“Because━ Because━” He struggles to form his thoughts into words, stumbling over his sentence. Fuck, he’s never like this. Even you can tell. He grits his teeth next. “I lean in to kiss you and you look at me as if I’m out of my mind. I just don’t get it. You don’t want me to kiss you but you let me put my dick in your ass.”

The taut line of your lip quivers as you break. “That was one time and you didn’t even get all the way in!”

“Y/N.” Jungkook hums now. He’s gazing at you a little softly, reaching out to place his hands on your waist. “Look, I know I’ve been an idiot. But lately, when I touch you, I fucking feel so alive and the thought of Yukhei doing anything with you when it isn’t me, who should be with you, makes me want to vomit. And when I wake up in the morning alone, I only want you next to me. And I can’t be the only one feeling that way. If I am, tell me. Right now. Please. I just wanna know why you won’t ever let me kiss you, but you let me do all sorts of things with you. Am I really that repulsive?”

Another moment of silence stifles the room. Jungkook is so close to you now, you can’t help yourself. You reach up to tug at the collar of his shirt, fingers twisting in the material as you lean your forehead out of frustration against his shoulder and he instinctively lets his arms slither around your waist, holding you to him. Then━

“No.”

“What?”

“I only made the rule because I don’t want you to kiss me unless you mean it,” You murmur into his chest. “Like really, really mean it. Like I’m more than just a notch in your belt. Because I want to kiss you so badly, and I’m already in love with you but then I’ll really be in love with you and I don’t want to get my heart broken.”

The anticipation kills you, awaiting his response. You refuse to lift your head, until you hear him grumble, “You’re so fucking stupid.”

“Me?”

The retort is filled with your typical jestering hostility as you finally look at him. But just as you do so, Jungkook’s reaching out to grasp at your face, rough hands all soft and gentle as they cradle your cheeks, guiding you towards him and smoothing his lips over yours until you melt like putty in his hands.

Kissing Jungkook, you deduce at once, is not at all how you imagined it.

It’s everything and more. You’ve felt his mouth on you before but in much different circumstances. Between your legs, on your throat, down past the valley of your breasts ━ and each kiss then had been feral, sloppy, rough. Now, it’s sweet and tender, the feeling of his lips as soft as how he makes your heart feel. And the butterflies━ god, the butterflies.

Impatient hands tug and pull at one another until you’ve both stumbled into your room and onto your bed. He’s clambered over top of you, lips struggling to not part throughout the whole ordeal, until he’s wedged himself between your thighs.

Only then does Jungkook part from you just enough in the next moment, lips brushing against yours, as he whispers ardently, “I mean it.”

Then he’s kissing the corner of your lips down to the underside of your jaw, his mouth grazing along your skin in a feathery touch. His hands help you shed your shirt, and the bra underneath. “I mean it when I kiss you here.”

Then he drops his head to your neck, kissing at the base of your throat, before nipping at it lightly. “And here.”

Your hands come to thread in his hair, tugging at the roots. He burrows his face lastly in your chest, snatching the nipple of one of your breasts between his teeth. “Here…”

You’re so soft and supple beneath his hands, all his to love and explore.

“I want you, all of you,” he mumbles. “Only you.”

“Oh, Koo…”

A pretty moan tumbles from your mouth, and he could nearly cry. He had surely thought you were far past the point of enraged, far past the point of pensive words shaped in a heartfelt apology to bring you back to him. But then hearing you rasp his name ━ the little cute nickname that only you call him ━ makes him so goddamn remorseful.

He smothers your lips with his once more, groaning into your mouth. “I’m such a fucking dick. I don’t deserve you.”

“Don’t say that,” You whine.

“I’m sorry,” he laments. He bites at your lower lip, suckling against it. “Please let me make it up to you.”

“You already have.”

“But I’ve been such a shitty friend,” he groans. It’s hard to focus when he’s pressing his hips against yours, the forming bulge in his pants straining against the inside of your thigh. “I should’ve known when to stop. I shouldn’t have even suggested the whole thing in the first place, because then I wouldn’t have messed us all up.”

“Jungkook,” Your grip tightens in his hair. “Jungkook━ I want you so bad. Just wanna be yours.”

“Yeah?” His breath is warm as it fans against your neck. You rub your core eagerly against him, throbbing pussy so close to making contact with his dick.

“Yeah,” You mewl.

“What do you want from me?”

“You. Wanna feel your dick in me, please,” Your fingers tug at the top of his jeans, prodding at the muscles on his abdomen. “In my mouth. Can make you feel better, Koo, I promise. Just wanna be your good girl.”

“Mmm, I like the sound of that.”

He lets you push him until he’s on his back and you’re straddling his hips. Your limbs entangle with his as you shed the rest of your clothes, your own hands wandering up and down the front of his body after he’s tossed his shirt onto the floor. Then he watches as you shimmy your way down his body. You’re so zealous in pleasing him, wrapping your hand around the base of his dick, head angry and red, dribbling pearly beads of precum down the shaft and over the bulging vein that lines it. You run your thumb over the tip and down, spreading the sticky fluid over him. He grunts in response, nearly jolting at your touch, as his head drops back against his shoulders.

“Oh, fuck,” he growls.

You pump him slowly, taking you time as your closed fist glides up and down his length. He shudders each time your hand reaches the base, and becomes so carried away with your leisure teasing that his eyes are screwed shut and misses the way you dip down to kiss at the tip of his cock. His eyes immediately flutter open, a flustered expression painting his face. You lap again at the head, saltiness coating your tongue, and you let out a simpering moan that has him quivering. And when you wrap your mouth entirely around his cock, sinking down along his length, he swears he’s about to fall apart. Your eyes flicker upward to meet him and the moment they lock, so sexy and dark, he has to look away for fear of busting right then and there. He reclines back against the bed once more, his hand flying out to grab at your hair.

“You’re so good to me, baby,” he rasps.

He can feel the curve of your lips against his cock as you suck him off. You do so well, too. Puffing your cheeks out, taking as much of him as you can until it feels as if he’s hitting the back of your throat. Then, you’ll suck at the tip of his cock, tongue swirling rapidly around, as your fist rubs his shaft. It’s a beautiful mix, one that inches him closer and closer to his high, and each time you switch he has to hold it together to not let go so soon. He wants to enjoy it, needs to bask in it. Your pretty mouth doing such sinful things, making him feel as if he were in heaven.

“Shit━” His hips jut forward to meet with your mouth, accidentally hitting the back of your throat without warning. You gag a little, but don’t pull away, and when he apologizes to you hastily, you only moan in response. A thought pops into his head that has him beckon aloud, “Will you be a good girl and let me fuck your mouth? Huh, baby?”

You hum in approval, eyes shimmering with glee.

So, he plants both hands in your hair, grabs at the sides of your head, and as you hollow out your cheeks, he bucks into your mouth. He does it again and again, listening to your crescendoing mewls of delight, forming a sticky mess of drool and cum that spills onto your chin.

“God, you’re so good,” Jungkook grunts. He’s a complete wreck, eyes screwing shut, blonde tresses spilling into his lashes. The muscles in his abdomen twitch with each sharp inhale of air he takes, so mesmerized by the shape of your pretty mouth around his dick, like you were made for him. “Such a good girl, huh?”

He fucks himself into your mouth roughly, frantically. Tears start to prick at your eyes from holding your breath, yet you keep yourself together just a little longer for him, lashes fluttering shut tightly.

“All mine too,” Jungkook hisses. “Wouldn’t let Yukhei do this to you, would you? Fuck, I’m━”

With your head left immobile stuck in his grasp, you hum in disapproval instead. You know he’s close when you start to hear him panting breathily. When he cums, it’s with a fractured whine and in short hot bursts onto your tongue and down your throat. You swallow as much as you can and, when he parts from you with a resonating lewd pop, you wipe away with your knuckles at the rest of his cum leaking out of the corner of your mouth and onto your chin. Dark hooded eyes meet with yours, a mischievous glint captivating them. You crawl over to him, straddling his hips once more, chasing his mouth with yours. Your own lips are so wet, coated in saliva and cum, bruised plump, but yet you’re smiling so innocently past the way he can taste himself on his tongue.

A dazed thought pops into your head that has you murmuring wistfully against him, “Say it again. I like hearing you call me baby.”

“Hmm? What about when I call you my good girl?” Jungkook nips at your lips. He grasps at your waist, flipping you over until you’re on your back beneath him. “You treat me so well, baby; you’re my only girl, you know that.”

A contented sigh sounds from you as you rut your hips in thinning desperation to meet his, so close to rubbing against his dick nestled against his thigh. He licks at his fingers hastily, reaching between the two of you to press against your clit, rubbing leisurely at the soft bundle of nerves. He’s learned how to navigate your body after months of supposed emotionless fucking, but now? Now, he felt as if his heart may just burst through his chest. Every reaction you make to his every touch ━ the needy plea to have him make you his, call you baby ━ makes him want to see more, and more.

“Am I?” You ask hoarsely. He grasps at his dick, guiding his tip to your core, so slick and wet, glistening with your own arousal. As he pushes himself in with a hiss, he watches as you contort beneath him. “Nnngh, Jungkook━”

“Fuuck,” he groans. He sinks into you, spreading your thighs further and further apart, until his hips make contact with yours. His mouth attacks yours with a feverish passion, the rumble of his moans and your whimpers muffling against one another. Then, he remembers to answer your awaiting question, barely audible between the way his tongue lavs at yours. “You are. I’m so fucking in love with you. But I don’t deserve you.”

Your hands tug impatiently at his hair. “Stop saying that.”

“But it’s true,” he hums. He’s quick to start rutting at your hips in a steady yet agonizing pace, dick burrowing into your pussy as your walls throb and shake. He can’t help but watch, mesmerized as always by the way his length slips past your folds and disappears into you. Again, and again, and again, so lewdly destroying your pretty cunt. “Just want Yukhei to touch you all over instead, don’t you?”

“No,” You croak.

You spread your thighs instinctively wider apart, allowing him to sink even further into you until it feels as if he’s hitting you so far in your stomach. Each roll of his hips is punctuated by the crude noise of skin against skin, sending you spiralling.

“Want him to do all sorts of dirty things to you, huh?”

“N-No. Fuck, Jungkook━ Harder, please━”

“That’s what you said,” Jungkook retorts. Still, he listens to your pleas, snapping his hips into yours roughly enough to send you jolting back on the bed. His hands start to roam your body, pinching at your hips, then grasping ferociously at one of your breasts. “Want him to fuck you in his car, right?” His palm feels like fire as it slides up past your collarbones to your throat. “Want him to choke you.”

His hand comes to wrap around the underside of your jaw on your throat, thumb and index finger pressing against the pressure points there. He squeezes, though with barely any force, just enough to feel your rapid pulse beneath his digits in a way that makes you so suddenly hyper aware of everything he’s doing to you. Cock stretching you wide, palm heavy around your throat, mouth folding over yours. So caught up in the overwhelming sensations you’re feeling, you can’t tell if he’s genuinely upset with himself, though you suspect part of him is. You can sense it in the way he clings to you a little tighter, can see it laced within his dazzling pupils.

Jungkook huffs, hair flopping into his eyes as he grits his teeth and ruts his hips faster into you if only to see more of your pretty little reactions. Your jaw unhinges at the feeling, head falling back onto the pillows. “He could probably treat you nicer too.”

You shake your head wildly, fingers digging into the skin on his shoulders. “Just want you, Koo.”

“Still?” he asks. His grip on your neck fastens a little more, pure euphoria riddling all your senses and making you writhe beneath him. “God, you’re such a dumb little slut, aren’t you?”

You nod in your groggy exhaustion, the familiar burn coiling in your stomach, making your toes curl.

Jungkook feels your own high approach. Your walls are clenched so tightly around him, he has to sputter for air. “Could he make you feel like this?”

“No, Koo,” You whine. “Only you.”

“Yeah?” Jungkook growls. “Good girl. Gonna cum around my dick like the good little slut you are?”

Your hips ricochet upwards to meet his, relentless pounding into your core. “Please, please━”

Jungkook quickens his pace until you’ve deteriorated into absolute shambles, whimpering his name after each thrust. You tumble towards your high, cuming around his length as he burrows it into you again and again, and all he can think is mine, mine, mine. As you unravel beneath him, he slides his hand off of your throat and slithers it underneath you and around your waist, hoisting you slightly enough off the bed so that he can reach his own orgasm. He’s a little more frantic now, sloppy and restless as he pummels into you.

“Shit, baby━” he cries out. “Oh, fuck, you’re so good━”

As you come down from your high enough, you somehow manage to murmur drowsily, “Cum in me, Koo. Wanna feel it.”

You grab at his face, pulling him down to catch his lips on yours, and the thought is so tempting he can’t refuse. He gets so lost in your lips, cuming with one final slam of his hips into yours and a chorus of curses mingling with your name in whimpers. He rides out both of your highs with a few half-hearted thrusts, more concerned with kissing you in useless open-mouthed kisses as your own mouth parts with one last weary moan while he fills you up.

When he’s spent, he collapses against your chest, and you collapse onto the bed. It’s quiet long enough for the both of you to calm the shrill beat of your hearts when you feel Jungkook stir, moving to part from you, pulling his dick from your swollen pussy and planting a lingering peck on your cheek. He disappears momentarily but returns a few seconds later, towel in hand which he uses to wipe at your core now leaking with his cum and your heart croons at all his tender touches.

It makes you realize all at once that, god, yes, you’re so in love with your idiot best friend and he’s so in love with you.

“Jungkook.”

He turns to look at you, an adoring smile dancing upon his lips when he sees your own radiant beaming face. You beckon him over and he relents, letting you pull him into your arms. He nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck as he wraps his own arms around you to tug you closer to his side. As your fingers come to rake through his sweaty hair, he cranes his neck to follow your hand and hear him coo against your neck, “That feels so good.”

A sudden thought crosses your mind that has you smirking smally to yourself. “Are we… Are we cuddling? Jungkook, I thought you didn’t like cuddling. Said it was, and I quote, sentimental bullshit.”

“I never liked it because it wasn’t with you. Didn’t wanna waste my time on someone that wasn’t you,” Jungkook hums, matter-of-fact. You can tell he’s a little embarrassed at the way you so casually taunt him about such an obvious fact, though he’s fortunate you can’t see him smiling like a complete fool. “And I wanna do all that sentimental bullshit with only you. Now, shush━” He scolds you playfully. “M’so tired and I just wanna hold you tight.”

“Can’t argue with that.” Your heart leaps in your chest. “Just promise me one thing?”

It’s only then that he lifts his sleepy gaze to find yours, apprehensive of any potentially looming severity in your words. “Anything.”

Instead, all he can find is the way you trace your finger along the details of his face, from his nose, to his cheekbones, down to the freckle under his lip with the hand that sports your friendship bracelet. “In the morning, when we wake up, you’ll still be here to hold me tight. And every other morning after that.”

His smile widens even more, if that was even possible. “Wouldn’t want it any other way. But━”

“But?”

“On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

His eyes sparkle cheekily. “Kiss me.”

So, you do, again and again and again; and Jungkook thinks, yeah, he certainly can get used to this.

It takes you a month to cave in to Jungkook’s incessant pleas to fuck you to his sex playlist. You do it mostly to humour him, though part of you is a little bit intrigued at the thought.

Stowed away in his room, he eats you out to the choruses of sultry The Weeknd and raunchy Ariana Grande songs, fucks you to the likes of the Neighbourhood and Kim Petras while you’re on all fours, and you’re only half-paying attention to the music until you hear it. Admittedly, you almost completely miss it but you blame Jungkook and the way he’s making you currently feel, sprawled out beneath him, chests pressed flush against one another in a sweaty, sticky mess, breathy and glorious moans of your name filling your ears when━

“I had no choice but to hear you. You stated your case time and again━”

The dulcet chime of Alanis Morissette thrums about the room, a complete and utter shift in contrast in the atmosphere that has you immediately pausing.

“Jungkook.” But he knows what you set out to say even before you do, judging by the tone in your voice and the stifling smirk on his face. You gawk at him, biting at your lip to hide your laughter but you fail miserably. “You weren’t joking?”

He shrugs innocently, leaving you just as dumbfounded as you were two seconds ago. Instead, he says, “Gotta do what I promised then, don’t I?”

You quirk a brow. “What was that exactly?”

“Gotta give you the best orgasm of your life.”

“If you can do that to cheesy 90s pop, I’ll have your actual babies, Jungkook.” The effort is endearing and impressive, to say the least.

A roll of your eyes is met with a taunting roll of his hips into yours that wipes the jest off your face immediately. He grins like a madman, uttering a little stupidly, and a little ardently, “Say no more.”

Because, all things considered and joking aside, he wants it with you ━ the dazed daydreamy talk of a future together and kids, friendship bracelets, and cuddles in the morning. Because you mean the world to him and more. Because you’re his best friend, and he’s so madly in love with you.

Because he wants it all with you.

⟶ Feedback is always appreciated!

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 4 years

Note

What type of kids do you think the ikevamp guys would be if they went to high school?

Oh boy HERE WE GO

(Under a cut bc this post is a Long Boi^TM)

Napoleon. Would prbly be that kid that’s like somehow bafflingly in the top ten of his class but nobody ever sees him??? Like he’s always late to school or napping in the quietest places on campus (they found him in a locker once and the school was laughing about it for WEEKS bc he insisted he was just chillin, and it wasn’t like a bullying incident he just wanted to sleep LMAO). Surprisingly amiable? A lot of people are afraid of him at first but he’s just so casual and direct, he gains quite a few friends (and a good number of girls have a crush on him--he always diverts the attention of skeevy guys). Good friends with Jeanne because they fence together a lot, and people are always baffled at how easily they chat

Mozart. Where do I begin. Number one in his class, perfectionist prick. That one kid that’s a known prodigy and that everyone hates for his impeccable grades and musical talent. Always gets the solos and conducting roles in the school performances. He knows how to play a crowd--will always be sweet and cherubic in front of teachers. But when it’s just the students? All gloves are off. Frigid and incendiary, will not take any shit and will tear you apart with words in milliseconds. Do not cross. He will end your entire life and self-esteem, it’s not worth it. Has a few friends, and they often experience the disdain of jealous students--but they’re all steadfast about defending him. And Mozart will not tolerate it if people are mistreating his friends, he’s an iron wall of defense; to be his friend means to always have someone looking out for you, make no mistake. He and Jeanne often grab food together after practice and ask about each others day, they hella close but never really show it while school’s on--their class schedules are worlds apart bc of their grades, and at lunch they’re usually practicing/doing hw. When they hug it out at graduation and pat each other on the back everyone nearly falls the fuck out of their chair LMFAO

Leonardo. That kid that 100% could probably be in the top fifty of his class but just can’t be bothered to give a damn. Always argues points with his teachers and plays devil’s advocate until they are inches from exploding at him. Always the one to mercifully make class feel shorter with his absolute distraction-heavy shitfuckery (and sometimes you really learn something because of his line of thinking). He's a dumbass but like harmless, essentially. Used to be the perfect student^TM and then decided the system was bullshit and he wanted no part of it, thinks public education can kiss his ass. Nobody knows it since he asks people not to talk about it, but he tutors kids after school for hours--has brought kids from Ds to Bs. He always dodges nosy people, never goes to parties, and finds ways to intervene around kids that are struggling with smth (with ninja stealth of course). Despite how easily he laughs and chats with just about anyone, he’s...actually surprisingly v much a lone wolf. Only ever consistently hangs out with the heartthrob rich kid, but nobody understands why???? And they’re always roasting each other wtf, are they even friends????

Comte. Pretty boy genius, always in the top five of his class though doesn’t seem too worried about it or obsessed with rank as students often are. It’s more that his parents have high expectations for his future as their heir, so he tends to fall in line with it. Born into money but somehow....not an asshole??? He doesn’t really like showing off, tries to be quiet about his accomplishments but his parents won’t really allow it--and he’s the star of the soccer team so it can be hard to hide. Most often the one at a party trying to help people sober up (always designated driver) or hearing his friends out when they have a problem. Has never publicly tried to bust heads, but some of the guys in the school insist he’s got a dark side--probably because he threatened them (passive aggressively) within an inch of their lives for being disgusting to girls. But nobody believes them bc...I mean look at him, does that look like a threat?? He just bought that kid’s lunch for christ’s sake. TONS of girls ask him out and confess their feelings, and he always lets them down as gently as he can--conceivably doesn’t like anyone himself, as far as the student body knows. Like Leonardo he’s v amiable, but also manages to reveal nothing personal while getting close. Leonardo’s the only one that’s managed to scratch the surface, and the kid won’t leave him alone for some godforsaken reason. And yet, he seems to enjoy their minutes of banter more than the hours of time spent with “friends”

Arthur. Oh boy. Good lord. Well. He used to be a sweetheart that would always seek out the mousier students and bring them into discussion/involve them on the playground. But alas, Teenage Jadedness^TM hit him like a train and now he’s an incorrigible flirt and believes no single person can be good deep down (somebody get this bitch some eyeliner). Believes the world will always be a cruel and unfeeling place where victims are never heard, so he just kind of goes full skeptical and bitter (think Sylvain for those of you that are FE fans). Has fun with every girl he sees (usually dating several girls at once) and doesn’t much care for his grades, but somehow has perfect scores in English?? He insists it’s because he needs to keep his seduction game on par with the voices of older legends before him, but some of the girls that see him in the library from time to time--v serious--are struck by how attractive he is in such deep focus, entirely uncharacteristic of his nosy and boisterous behavior in the halls (can often be seen whirling around Isaac like a bird of prey while our little baby robin Isaac stiffly tries to get away from him, and Dazai often joins to make things even more chaotic bc why not? In reality they just love this feisty kid that never gives up on what’s right, even though they’ve both given up trying themselves)

Dazai. He’s one of those kids that like does weed regularly but is also like...alarmingly insightful?? Like those kids I was always told to avoid, but now and again I would have conversations with out of necessity and was just...kinda shook. I mean granted he’s a little weird but he’s fairly harmless?? He’s like a class clown but on a massive scale--there’s nobody in the place that doesn’t know who he is, that haven’t heard tales of his exploits (he always comes in through the windows and gets detention for it a lot, and he even brought a chicken with him to school once????) nobody gets what he’s doing at any moment (don’t even know if he does really, chaotic mofo) and honestly nobody wants to know they just do the side eye meme when he appears or laughs. The teachers lament his untapped potential or just hate him for making their lives an even bigger headache than usual, and his grades are...yeah let’s not look at those. Organized the senior prank with absolute GLEE, and it was talked about for ages after he was gone--an inspiration chaotic bastards everywhere

Theodorus. (I hate.......that I pictured him in those like Vineyard Vine white boy clothes.......for the record its mostly bc his parents force him to wear them). All business. This kid doesn’t have time for your bullshit, will absolutely walk away if you’re boring him or seeking social clout. Popular because he’s hot and has a mean streak a mile wide, all the girls that didn’t like Mozart for being ethereal and effeminate boomeranged to find Theo ready to fulfill their hopes and dreams. They only grow more feral when rumors of him actually being fairly nice one on one--and telling creeps to fuck off of vulnerable girls at parties--start to circulate. (If he isn’t with Vincent, Arthur is probably near. Nobody understands how the two are brothers????) Van Gogh name apparently is just “I can be your angel or i can be your devil” and no one understands how... Grades are average and he’s plenty capable, most of his time is spent working after school because his parents refuse to provide Vincent with any artistic materials (canvas, paints, etc). They ask him to go to parties more, but he only goes to piss his parents off (he’s v lowkey punk and it’s understandably sexy of him). Will literally only listen to Vincent, and got in a looooot of trouble after getting into a fistfight with Shakespeare. Only stopped because his parents blamed Vincent for the incident, and Vincent apologized and went quiet for days ;-;

Vincent. Always been quiet and shy, but he doesn’t dislike ppl--he just has a hard time speaking up now and again. His parents always talk over him and tell him nothing he has to say has any real value, so he tends to struggle with a lot of self-doubt. Not isolated because he’s not likeable, it’s more because people tend to take advantage of his mild and earnest nature--until Theo runs them off. He’s on amiable terms with most people but has no real, true friends and it makes him feel lonely a lot. Mostly copes with the emotional turmoil by painting as much as he can. His grades are average, he does reliably well but can often be found daydreaming or distracted. Theo tends to escort him everywhere because of his propensity to attract danger (namely Shakespeare) or walk into things cuz he’s in his head a lot. A few of the artsier girls and the quiet academic girls have HUGE crushes on him (he’s softspoken, sweet, and calm; come on now), but he’s so distant--and honestly nice to everyone in equal measure--that they don’t have much hope of it coming to fruition. This kid deadass doesn’t think a single girl would ever like him that way so he’s just c:???????? when Theo talks about “those nosy harpies coming after my brother”

Jeanne. EDGY MCEDGE. Isn’t amazing in the academic department, but he’s a killer fencer--the rallying cry of the entire team. He became leader his sophomore year and he’s pretty much the only reason they keep destroying at tournaments throughout the year. Despite the pervasive interest in him he intimidates most people away with his swift intensity and ironclad stoicism. Silent as a grave and very still, people are convinced he’s the Grim Reaper reincarnated (listen he’s juST A DUTIFUL BABIE N O). If he isn’t fencing or practicing, Isaac often offers him help in the library after school hours in one of the study rooms (can’t be seen who’s inside from the outside). The two develop a kind of uncanny bond; they’re both so...bad at human-ing that they find a lot of comfort in the atmosphere they create. There’s none of the bullshit grandstanding or clout obsession, just them genuinely trying to help each other (yes Jeanne absolutely teaches Isaac self-defense moves in order to crush the kids that pick on him, and Jeanne often either glares or outright threatens those students when Isaac isn’t looking). Only ever smiles or feels understood when he’s hanging out with Mozart, so he cherishes the time Mozart offers him to hang (he knows the kid is busy up to his eyeballs and under a ton of pressure by comparison, his parents don’t care much as long as they can brag about his fencing records)

Isaac. Mega nerd that just...does not know how to interact. Only understands math and DESTROYS in competitive math club, but otherwise is always alone at lunch or just in the library. A little bean pole because he doesn’t look after himself very well (neglects to eat a lot) and can sometimes be found asleep on his books. If approached he will be very thorny, doesn’t have any friends to speak of and trusts everyone about as far as he can throw them. Yells at Arthur and Dazai a lot when they flock around him, and has gotten into his fair share of fights. Never starts fights, but will finish them. People are surprised he can hold his own, and he comes away with blood that ain’t his. There are a few girls that are curious about him, but its mostly the ones that have seen his awkward thoughtfulness in club--or the girls that are sick of the assholes and appreciate how stalwart he is. He really just wants to be left in peace (his parents never show up to his meets or when he wins academic awards, and the few teachers that notice are pretty concerned abt his reactivity and complete lack of social savvy...) Leonardo always helps him sneak in at night to look at the stars on the school roof

Shakespeare is p much the like “kid most anticipated to be in jail as soon as they’re out of high school” He just. Has that like...serial killer vibe??? Idk if I’m explaining this well but he was that guy that would always cling to genuinely compassionate girls just trying to be nice like a LEECH, and would never fucking shut up if he did or didn’t get attention. You just can't win with this kid. Probably wanted to kill the kids that made fun of him or at the very least wanted to lash out against the confident/popular/nice kids. Only liked you if he didn’t deem you a threat, or if you didn’t make him insecure, or if you tolerated him (aka Vincent. Vincent PLEASE stop trying to reach out to dangerous ppl....I love you too much to watch this shit...) He admitted as much to Theo and the kid went livid with rage and pummeled him into the ground, though most of the rest of the student body doesn’t know quite what happened. (Theo refuses to explain to anyone, and just walks away if asked). Shakespeare will just change the subject endlessly and make passive aggressive threats until the person leaves if they try to bring it up. The only time the entire class has EVER seen Leonardo mad is when Shakespeare kept tailing this girl that wanted no part of him

Sebastian. Nerdy like Isaac, but is more of the silent observer type. Like Theo, doesn't want any part of the bullshit but won't be as blunt or outspoken about it, he's only open about it if pressed or pissed off. Doesn't have much patience for the clique-driven nature of high school and tends to take an interest in the people who stand out beyond the mind-numbing drama. Also is in the top fifty but studies like a lunatic, and can often be seen asking Comte for tips now and again. Has tried talking to Mozart and admires his talents, but Mozart gives a cold shoulder that would put Antarctica to shame. (Leonardo tries to ninja him into taking breaks but never succeeds). Has a great deal of disdain for the troublemakers (Arthur and Dazai) but doesn't intervene, just watches shit go down and sighs. Probably the most normal(?) one of the bunch, just does his best and keeps his head down

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pastpatientlywaitingforimagines · 4 years

Text

Lunar | Spencer Reid x Reader Platonic

WC: 1134

A/N: Honestly this is more just an extended headcanon than an actual fic. (I’d suggest reading the headcanons first, but no pressure) It takes place pretty much any time after the middle of season 11, excluding the half a season Reid was in jail. Whether this was pre- or post-prison Spencer is up to you.

GALAXY MASTERLIST

Warnings: tiny mention of alcohol, tiny spoilers for 3x16 (Elephant’s Memory)

Alexa Lisbon had always dreamed of planning her high school class reunions. It was entirely the reason she ran for student body president. Getting to host an event that would be fondly remembered by her classmates for years to come was always the goal.

Standing in the banquet room of the country club, this year’s was already better than she had imagined it. She watched as guests filled the room, people she hadn’t seen in years looking more mature than when they had walked across the stage at graduation. One person in particular had really grown up, though Alexa presumed it was because he was actually 12 the last time she had seen him.

“Is that Spencer Reid?” Harper Hillman gawked from Alexa’s side, a glass of champagne in her hand. Spencer was taller now, but less scrawny. His chin hinted at a five o’clock shadow, and his jawline was so sharp Alexa was sure she would cut herself on it.

Never in a million years did she think she would be attracted to Spencer Reid.

She wondered if he was single, something else she had never expected herself to think about the man. He wasn’t wearing a ring, but she watched as you came to stand next to him. You looked comfortable at his side, Alexa wondered if you were together. If you were, you didn’t show it.

Even from across the room, Spencer was radiating awkwardness. That much hadn’t changed, Alexa noticed. She kept watching, waiting for either one of you to show affection to confirm her theory but it never came.

Instead, Spencer became tense and kept glancing at your feet. You were much more relaxed, seemingly reassuring him though your eyes kept flickering around the room. Alexa wondered what you two were talking about, your lips moving too fast for her to read them.

“Let’s go over there,” she said to Harper, walking towards the pair.

“Of all the things you’ve learned from Hotch-”

“It’s Vegas, Spence. I’m sure I’m not the only one-” whatever conversation you were having stopped abruptly when she approached.

“Spencer! I’m so glad you could make it,” Alexa hoped he didn’t remember her involvement in the shenanigans that had occurred while they were in high school.

“Alexa, Harper, nice to see you,” he said, sticking his hands in his pockets with a tight-lipped smile, “(y/n), this is Alexa Lisbon and Harper Hillman.”

You hesitated for only a minute before reaching out to shake their hands, “this is her, Spence? ‘The prettiest girl in the whole school?’ It’s an honor,” you were clearly teasing him, a wicked grin stretched across your face. Spencer shifted uncomfortably next to you, it was endearing, Alexa thought.

“She was,” Harper confirmed next to her, “now she’s the prettiest woman in the PTA.”

“You have kids?” you asked. Alexa still wasn’t sure what your relationship with Spencer was, but you seemed genuinely interested. If anything, you knew how to talk to people.

“Two, Jaxxon and Oaklynn. Do you have any kids?” she prompted, looking at Spencer.

“Spencer has three Godsons,” you laughed, “he works too much to have kids of his own. Sometimes I come into the office and he’s been there all night.”

Your bright energy confused Alexa. Spencer clearly knew you were joking, smiling fondly at you, but he hadn’t said a word since introducing her to you. He had never been the best at reading social cues, and yet he looked so comfortable with you even with your exceptional people skills.

“So you work together?” Alexa dared.

“We’re FBI agents for the Behavioral Analysis Unit,” Spencer licked his lips and sighed as you spoke. Alexa found herself wondering what else his mouth could do.

“FBI Agents?” Harper wasn’t convinced, so you reached into your pocket and pulled out your credentials, showing the two women.

“We profile serial killers, child abductors, terrorists, and the like. Then we find them and arrest them. It’s 100% legit,” you said, pocketing the creds.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t picture Spencer Reid arresting a serial killer.”

The fire in your eyes was so strong Alexa took half a step back as you turned quickly to square up with Harper.

“He’s one of the best agents on our team. Nobody can talk down a suspect like he can. And actually it’s Doctor Spencer Reid. He has more PhD’s than you will ever be close to in your life,” you spit. You probably would have kept going if Spencer hadn’t grabbed your arm.

“(y/n),” he warned.

“I’m sorry, who are you again?” Harper asked.

“I’m his spouse, Supervisory Special Agent (y/n) (y/l/n).”

Alexa wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but it definitely was not that.

“And if you know what’s good for you, Harper Hillman, you will walk away and go find everyone that was on the football team and tell them that Spencer is a better man than they will ever be, and he didn’t have to tie someone to a goalpost naked to do it.”

So he did remember.

“(y/n), I told you not to bring that up,” Spencer shifted his weight, speaking softer, “come on. Let’s go.” You huffed next to him, fidgeting with your left pant leg.

“Spencer,” Alexa called as she watched the two of you start to leave the venue. He turned around, a soft smile on his lips that Alexa felt like she didn’t deserve, “thank you for coming.”

“You’re welcome. You did a really great job, Alexa.”

“And, um, I’m sorry for the things we did to you in high school. You were just a kid, you didn’t deserve it.”

“We were all kids. Technically the brain doesn’t stop developing until we’re well into our twenties, and the last part that develops is the prefrontal cortex which is responsible for our personalities-”

“Spencer, as much as I want to let you finish this info dump, Alexa has other things to do than learn about brain function. She’s hosting a whole event, that can’t be easy,” you spoke up next to him for the first time since your outburst.

“I forgive you,” Spencer said sincerely before walking away with you, saying something about how he was “going to tell Rossi you caused trouble exactly like he said not to”, to which you started offering to do his paperwork for the next month if he didn’t.

Spencer Reid had always been a little bit odd. It’s what made him an easy target when they were teenagers. Still, Alexa could see that he had found a place and a person that celebrated his quirks. Alexa thought about her two kids and her messy marriage, her white-picket-fence home and a career she abandoned years ago to become a housewife, and wondered if she would ever be as successful as Doctor Spencer Reid.

GALAXY MASTERLIST

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #platonic soulmates #platonic imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic

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timextoxhajima · 4 years

Text

HOSTIS, Chapter XVII.5: Inevitabilis, Inevitable

HOSTIS PLAYLIST: WONHO - LOSING YOU

Previous Chapter (XVII: Et Universum Parallel)

Member: Lee Hyunjae (tbz)

Genre (by chapter): drama, angst

Category: Short Novel/Long Series

Dana’s A/N: this is a special piece written by @vxstarlightxv who has been feeding me ideas to fuel this story. i did not write this chapter, i only merely proof-read it/gave her tips etc, but otherwise the beauty of this chapter will never be able to be my own original work.

P.S: if you’re emotional, please keep a box of tissues with you

“there is no escape from you, not now, not ever. you are inevitable.”

The day the kids at school start calling you Ares is the day Hyunjae loses faith in humanity. You are a spineless, low-life coward, who hardly deserves to be bestowed with the same title as himself. Yet here you are, acting as though you were worth being on the same plane as him.

He hates you. Oh god, he truly does.

He remembers the way you fucked him over so well and thoroughly, and in front of the whole school that too. Granted, he may have screwed with your equipment, but maybe if you didn’t suck so bad you wouldn’t have failed.

Blaming him for your shortcomings. How typical.

But showing Minhee that picture of the accidental kiss (that meant nothing) for the sole purpose of destroying his relationship? That was a bitch move right there. So he has no regrets when he posts a cleverly edited picture of your lab teacher with his girlfriend. None at all. In fact, the sight of your tears when that himbo Younghoon dumps you is something that brings him delight.

His heart definitely did not twist when he saw you cry, because he definitely does not care. You hurt him, and it’s only fair that you’re hurting too.

Nonetheless, he is pleasantly surprised at how fast you bounce back. His breakup with Minhee was a huge watery mess, and he cannot help his grudging admiration for your strength when you power through your own with Younghoon.

It is only admiration, for he definitely still hates you.

When the time comes to choose a medical school, he chooses the one that seems the furthest away from you. But fate hates him, so after 4 years of respite, he is dumped back on your doorstep as your fellow intern in the neurology department.

Of all the fucky coincidences.

~~~

Ares is a brutal god. He is the fire of war, wild and relentless.

Hyunjae is furious when he finds out you’ve stolen his report, but he’s not surprised. Not when he would’ve done the same thing. Then again, he was kind of hoping you would leave him alone. Naturally, you’ve done the opposite. He wonders if his emotional response is a little… disproportionate, given the situation, but he’s not going to let you fuck him over like this and escape unscathed. He isn’t a fucking pussy, your thoughts on the matter be damned.

Silly little kitten. Put your paws in the fire, and watch the heat bubble your skin.

He is simmering as he bangs on your door. He hears you screaming some nonsense about your mother, but he’s too pissed to process anything. You open the door, face falling as you see him. He cannot help but reach out a hand and grab you by your pretty throat.

He shoves you into the house, fuelled by the magnitude of his anger. You’ve hurt his pride, made a fool out of him in front of Dr Kim. He wants to shred you to pieces, get you on your knees and rip the apologies from your mouth.

Tonight you will understand why the other gods fear the wrath of Ares.

~~~

Hyunjae replays the encounter in his head as he drives home. He has never once considered you as anything but an enemy. But today, something of seismic proportion has shifted in your dynamic.

The flutter of your lips against his, like butterfly wings on a flower. The warmth of your chest against his in a tight alcove, hiding from Dr Shin. The way you felt when you took him in, the way you cried when he hit every single spot that made your toes curl. The way you purred when he called you kitten and mewled as you fell apart on his cock.

In retrospect, he hopes that he didn’t hurt you. He usually likes to stick around for aftercare, but he didn’t want to ruin your pride even more. You’d already been dealt with a devastating blow, and he didn’t want to make it worse, regardless of how big of a dick you think he is.

(Ring, ring)

The sharp blare of his ringtone shatters the silence of his ride home. He glances at the screen, smiling when he sees the caller id.

“What’s up, Juyeonie? Are you finally back?” Hyunjae is thrilled to hear his best friend’s voice. Juyeon is very busy these days, being a commercial pilot and all, so these rare moments they have with each other are more precious than gold.

“Hey, hyung! Yes I am! On that note, are you free next Friday? Let’s get drinks and catch up!” Juyeon sounds so eager and hopeful that Hyunjae can’t help but say yes, no matter how packed his schedule might be. The rest of the conversation proceeds pleasantly, and he is happy to forget the day’s drama.

It is only when he reaches home that he realises that the thought of you has never quite left his head.

~~~

“So what happened? The last I heard, she left you high and dry in JFK.”

He watches as feline eyes crinkle with delight at his question. His friend launches into a happy tirade about his mystery girl, going on and on about fate and chance encounters and love lost and found. Hyunjae listens carefully, admiring the way Juyeon has changed. He wonders for a moment if he'll ever experience something as profound as Juyeon has, will ever wake up one day knowing that his heart sits in the palms of another person, and will not fear the idea.

The image of your eyes dancing with wicked laughter arises unbidden, and it punches the breath out of him.

He is jostled out of his thoughts when a hand lands on his thigh. It is so abrupt, so sudden that he all but jumps out of his skin.

“Long time no see, stranger.”

Choi Minhee is standing in front of him, batting her mascara-painted eyelashes at him seductively. She is as pretty as ever, with her delicate collarbones and anime-girl eyes.

But she is not you.

The thought is so dreadful and unsettling that he cannot help but flirt with her the whole night in order to get it out of his head.

When have you become anything but an annoyance, anything but a pest that’s been shoved down his throat?

It is pleasant, talking to someone who he hasn’t met in a long time. He remembers her fondly, despite how miserable their parting was. Minhee is soft and kind, a gentle cherry-blossom compared to your ever-burning inferno. She complements him well (not perfectly, because only oneperson does), and for a second he feels white-hot annoyance at you for fucking him over in this regard. Hyunjae cannot help but wonder if they would have been married by now had you not intervened with that photo. Would they be living the white-picket fence dream? What would their kids have looked like?

All he can see are children with your ash-brown hair and his almond eyes. The image causes his gut to clench so tightly that he wonders if something inside him might have cracked open.

“Have you and Y/N gotten together yet? I figured that after we broke up the two of you would end up going out. You were always kinda obsessed with each other.” The question jolts him out of his reverie. Juyeon, who has been listening politely so far, decides to insert himself into the conversation.

“Yeah, hyung. The two of you have always had something special, right? What was that stupid nickname we gave you? Paris and Helen?”

The irony is not lost to him. Enemies, being compared to the two greatest lovers of all time. A face that launched a thousand ships, a blaze of love that destroyed a nation. Only fools succumb to Aphrodite, the cruelest of the divine hosts.

“Ares and Ares. And for fuck’s sake, I will never be attracted to that hag. You won’t believe what she did at work last week-”

Hyunjae misses the knowing look Minhee and Juyeon exchange. He’s only seeing you.

~~~

If there is one thing that Hyunjae hates, it is surprises. So he really, really hates it when he sees you flirting with the intern as though he doesn’t exist.

The day had actually started off pretty well. He came into work feeling all pleased with himself. Not only did he break you down, but he also figured out a solid way to keep you in line. You were reacting beautifully to his taunts, and seeing you unable to walk made something vicious inside him preen.

And then, before he can breathe, you are making stupid cow-eyes at the snot-faced little intern as though he created entire galaxies in your honour.

How dare you, honestly? You’re wearing his hickeys on your neck, limping and sore because heripped you apart last night. How can you even thinkof flirting with another man? Are you doing this on purpose, to get some semblance of power back?

This is not jealousy. It definitely is NOT jealousy because that would mean he would have to be attracted to your hideous hag face. No, it was an issue of pride. And no, he definitely was not deluding himself right now.

Nonetheless, watching Eric help you into his car after work makes him want to vomit.

~~~

It is the party incident that truly knocks it into his head. He spends the entire night seething over your flirtations with Eric, with even Sangyeon. He glares at you, but you pretend to not see, and it shoves him off the edge.

Why won’t you look at him? A room full of people, but you are the only one he sees. So why aren’t you seeing him too?

He reminds you that night, who is the only one who knows how to pick you apart, snap you in half. He reminds you who is the only one who can make your body thrum and vibrate, who is the only one who can coax tears from your eyes and pleasured sobs from your throat. But he is also tender with you after, because under that diamond-hard exterior is a heart wrapped in silks and satin. Hurting you is the last thing he wants to do.

It is only when he wakes up alone in the morning that he realises that maybe, just maybe, he wishes he could see you in his bed again, hair spilled across the sheets as your breathing slowly evens out into slumber. He wants to coo over your keening wails, drink the moans from your mouth.

A thought, fleeting and profound, surfaces.

He wants you to be his.

~~~

He goes to work on Sunday with iron resolve. He has spent the entirety of Saturday thinking hard about you, and the relationship you shared with him. The line between obsession and infatuation is a thin one, one that the two of you have been dancing on for 10 whole years. When did his foot slip? When did the late nights plotting revenge mutate into candied dreams of your lips, of your body, singing for him?

But of course, who else could it be? You have always been, will always be, his forever other half.

Ares and Ares, locked in their death dance. But when did Ares become Aphrodite? War has become Love, and Love has become War.

Somewhere along the way, something has gone wrong. At some point or the other, he has forgotten the hatred that sizzled through him like blazing poison. He has forgotten that you are annoying, that you are competitive, and that you get revenge in the sleaziest ways possible. He has forgotten everything, because all that remains is the way your smile looks like a flashing ray of sunlight, like a tendril of shimmering starlight. All that remains is the sound of your wind chime laughter, the softness of your small hands on his heated skin. All that remains is the memory of how good you are for him, how addictive the juxtaposition between your submissive sweetness in bed and your fiery heat outside of it is.

So he decides that he is going to make you his. Granted, the order of things was completely wrong, but he would fix it. He would cook you dinner, press kisses onto your cherry mouth, and then love you till morning comes. And then he would repeat it every day, till the day the two of you are cradled in the eternal embrace of death.

Surely, surely you reciprocate his feelings? How can you not, when your body weeps for him the way it does?

He likes to think you do, when he admires the way your eyes flutter closed when he steals kisses in the pantry. He likes to think you do, when you stay four hours past your shift and order takeaway for him. He likes to think you do, when you dangle Eric in front of him in order to get him to fuck you hard,just the way you like it.

You are his, now.

~~~

Hyunjae’s love for you grows like tender flowers. It starts off small, but grows into something lovely and heartbreaking. You have carved your way into him, nestling against the walls of his heart and beseeching him to let you in with your stupid almond eyes.

He loves your stupid almond eyes.

He is on a cloud these days, brimming with affection that lights up his every step. He never considered himself to be one of those annoying, lovey-dovey honeymooners, but he can definitely see where they get their joy from.

Lovers alone wear sunlight.

You become his greatest delight. When you are around, even dust seems to sparkle like a thousand tiny diamonds. He loves waking up with you, your eyes half lidded and neck covered in his marks. He loves to see you in his clothes, smelling of his body wash, smelling of him.

(He has an extra special fondness for the days in which you are soft and pliant, allowing him to dress you like a doll. It makes his internal organs feel like they are tumbling over each other, and it makes him a little giddy. He loves taking care of you.)

But if he really had to pick a moment, he supposes he loves you most when you are with your patients, hands calm and steady and strong. It reminds him of everything beautiful there is about his profession, and he cannot get enough.

You are beautiful, in all the ways there are to be beautiful. You race through him like lightning, and he is sucked further into your orbit everyday. You carry his heart with you (inside yours), and you are never without it.

So he is overflowing with love when he picks you up and tastes your peach-covered mouth. He is overflowing with love when you smile at him with a sort of lightness that he's never quite seen directed at him before. He is overflowing with love as he goes to your favourite cafe one day to pick up the chowder you never stop talking about. Tonight, he will ask you to be his girlfriend, make this tentative little dance official.

Perhaps that is why the pain is so exquisite when he sees you with Younghoon, and hears you talking about Eric with such tenderness in your eyes.

“He’s super enthusiastic and there’s just something about him that’s so... comforting. I see him and I think about nothing but sunshine and warmth and laughter. He’s just... so cheerful, compared to whatever i’ve been used to.” Something inside him shatters into a million jagged pieces when he hears the words, and every breath becomes as a blood-drenched ordeal.

Sunshine and warmth and laughter. Sunshine and warmth and laughter. Sunshine and warmth and laughter. The words ring like alarm bells.

Fool. Naive, hopeless fool. You were never really his, were you? You might be the light by which his spirit is born, you might be his sun, moon and stars, but he? He is your nothing. He is the shadow that is birthed of your radiance, forever connected and forever forgotten.

Is this is why storms are named after people? You have destroyed him in the sweetest of ways. Is this taste of heartbreak? Rust coats his tastebuds. Is this how tears are born? The agony is magnificent and all-encompassing. There is nothing left for him here. He has never been enough, never will be.

He leaves quietly, chowder forgotten.

~~~

It is truly repulsive, the fact that he can see what you adore about Eric. The intern is strong and sweet, kind in all the ways Hyunjae is not. He is soft and mellow, and will cool your scalding tantrums with gentle words. He will not stir up the embers of your fury the way Hyunjae does, hoping for a reaction. He will be tender with you, gently laying you out and coaxing your body to sing. He will not be harsh and hard and possessive like Hyunjae, claiming you with bites and bruises and writing his possession into your blood.

He has been measured, and he has been found lacking. Eric is the perfect Hephaesthus, a sweet spring dandelion, and it is no surprise that Zeus will give you to him.

Aphrodite never belonged to Ares, after all.

“Hey, Eric! Do you have a moment?” By some miracle, his voice doesn’t crack.

“Hey, hyung! What can I do for you?” Eric is as mirthful as ever, and Hyunjae wishes they weren’t fighting over the same girl because he might actually like the intern otherwise.

“Have you gotten Y/N’s number yet?” He pauses to watch the bashful amusement dance across the intern’s face, and waits for the head shake he knows is coming. “Well, you didn’t hear it from me, but she’s very into you. So here’s her number, and make sure you call her, alright?” The teasing lilt he’s going for comes off more as a hoarse croak, and he realises belatedly that he really needs to be less of a shit actor.

“Thank you so much, hyung! But hey, don’t you hate Y/N? Why are you helping her out?” The intern offers him a cheeky grin, and all Hyunjae wants to do is knock his teeth out. But he’s a professional,so he offers Eric a tight smile (read: grimace) and says “Well, maybe I’m hoping you’ll distract her from work so that I’ll get the promotion first.” He tosses a wink in for good measure, before reaching out to ruffle Eric’s hair with a certain sadistic pleasure.

That’s thirty minutes in the bathroom gone down the drain. But that’s what he gets for stealing Hyunjae’s girl.

Of course, because Eric is quite literally an angel who can apparently do no wrong, he gives Hyunjae a sweet smile and rolls away happily in his chair, high off his excitement at finally getting the girl he’s been after for ages.

And then Hyunjae is left alone to drown in self-loathing.

Hyunjae is clearly a masochist who likes to hurt himself, so that’s why he decides to tell you to meet him at the carpark after work. One last time, he’ll be the one to drive you home, the one who kisses you goodnight.

He promises he’ll let you go after this.

~~~

The car ride is as quiet as ever. You enjoy being left alone with your thoughts, and Hyunjae isn’t about to interrupt you when he’s being pummeled by his own.

The Japanese once made up a fictional disease to describe the horrors of unrequited love. They call it Hanahaki, in which flowers grow in the lungs of the victims, causing them to cough up petals when they suffer from one-sided love.

He supposes that it is the exact feeling that he feels now. His love for you coils in his chest, choking leaves and thorns that crush his internal organs. It is rooted so deep that it might never leave, killing him softly but surely. The petals tickle his throat in an insidious kiss as he chokes on his desire for you, their softness a poisonous taunt of your lips against his, a feeling he might never know again.

“Are you okay?” Your voice is a balm to his wounded heart.

Of course he’s not okay. He’s in love with you, but you’re not in love with him. He knows that he is nothing without you, and that knowledge is somehow everything.

All this time he wanted to make you his, but you have made him yours.

He cannot form words, so he looks at you, really, really looks at you. He memorises the contours of your face, the slender bone of your nose, the tilt of your eyes, the exact shade of red your lips are. He'll hold every little detail close, remember the last night you're his and his alone, because tomorrow Eric will ask you out and his Aphrodite will never be his again.

He wants to pretend like the sudden moisture in his eyes is surprising, but he can't lie to himself anymore.

Liar, liar. Ares is a liar.

Is this how Lucifer felt when he fell from heaven? You are life, you are life and light and everything bright. And he is cold, dark and alone. He has fallen from grace, and all that is left are the coiling tendrils of hubris keeping his spine straight and gluing the shattered pieces of his heart together. He is heartbroken, but he will clench his teeth and grit through it. Your joy is worth it. His ego won't let him fall apart. He's stronger than this. Isn't he?

Break my heart. Break it into a thousand pieces and then some. It was only ever yours to break anyways.

“Why wouldn’t I be? Anyways, we’re here now. Get out already.” Your scoff is musical. He is aching and he is broken, so he does not have the strength to resist the screaming in his head to steal one last kiss from you. He luxuriates in the feeling of your petal-soft lips against his, before pulling away reluctantly.

Everything is more beautiful because the two of you are doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. You will never share this moment again.

“Goodbye, kitten.”

The words are far more permanent than he likes. You don’t hear them.

His tears run as he pulls out of your driveway. He allows himself one last look at you, confusion blossoming on the face he once swore was hideous but now haunts his every moment.

Love is fire. It burns as much as it warms, and he is the poor fool who allowed himself to get scarred.

~~~

Crossing the line from enemies to lovers was a wheeling drop of ecstasy and biting kisses. Crossing the line from lovers back to co-workers is a study in heartbreak, and Hyunjae doesn't know how much longer he can handle it.

How do I forget you? I've tasted your secrets on my lips and drank the whispers of your body. You are the weakness in my bones and the hollowness in my lungs. How do I cleave my soul from yours, when you are the drum that my heart beats to?

It is an awful sort of pain, feeling his chest cave in when he watches Eric roll over to you from his cubicle. You find him cute, it's obvious from the way your eyes crinkle like little stars when you regard him.

Look at me. Look only at me.

You look up, searching for his eyes like you’ve heard his prayer. You're expecting jealousy, disdain, fury. You're expecting him to drag you to the pantry, to call you kitten and kiss you till you bleed. But Hyunjae has no more poison to offer you. He is empty, and all he can do is give you a blank look. He hopes you will be happy, silently wishing you the best.

Hephaestus gets Aphrodite, and all Ares can do is watch. Bloody, brutal Ares is never the winner.

His lack of response throws you off. By now, you are used to his hissy fits, his seething rages. But who is he? What right does he have? You are not his to rage over, or his to claim. You might wear his marks on your neck, but you are definitely not his.

How he wishes you were. But wishes are like pixie dust, and this is no fairytale.

The rest of the day is agonising. His body is so keenly attuned to yours now, and he doesn’t know how to rewire himself. He keeps a cool distance from you, but every molecule in his being roars in fury at the forced detachment.

He misses you already.

You continue to press him, trying to push his buttons and rile him up. Hyunjae studiously ignores you, hoping his coldness will further fray the ropes holding up the fragile bridge of a relationship that the two of you have developed. You are looking at him with a strange mix of anger, disdain and annoyance. For a second, he thinks he might even see-

Is that? Could it be? Longing? Do you miss him like he misses you?

Wishful thinking. That’s what it is. But it hurts so bad that he decides that he’s just going to avoid you from now on, until he finds a more appropriate coping mechanism than simply crying like a toddler when he can’t get his way.

Maybe he should call Minhee, and try to rekindle-

He cuts the thought off before it dredges up more painful memories. All he can see when he thinks of Minhee are the one-thousand-and-one different ways you exceed her.

You’re fiercer, with more spine. You don’t give in as easily. You’re not afraid to fight with him. You have a kinder heart. You are so much smarter. Your lips are softer. Your hand fits into his so much more perfectly. You are lovely in all the ways she never was, never will be.

It is a numbing, novocaine relief when Dr Choi summons him for rounds. If Hyunjae is left for even a second longer with his thoughts, he might just spiral into a pit of depressed longing and self pity that he might never emerge from.

Mighty Ares, on his knees. Aphrodite’s laughter perfumes the air, irresistible and menacing.

~~~

He is on his final round when he meets Mrs Kang. The kind, old lady takes one look at him, eyes lighting up with knowledge that he wishes she wasn’t able to glean so easily.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Well he doesn’t, but the words explode out of his bleeding heart like ink spilling on ivory pages.

“I... I thought that it would be okay, that I could forget and let go and that it would all be fine and good but then… I saw her--” his voice cracks miserably as a lump etches itself into his throat. His heart is racing, and every inhale feels like swallowing glass shards.

“I saw her and something went terribly wrong because I couldn’t forget and my heart was remembering and I felt like I was dying but I couldn’t do anything because all I want is for her to be happy and I know that happiness isn’t with me and I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT.”

Mrs Kang is silent, regarding him with a look he can’t quite decipher. He takes it as an invitation to continue.

“I wish I was him. I wish I was the one who could make her smile, make her laugh. But I’m angry, I’m jealous and I’m immature. I’m overly competitive, and I don’t know how to lose graciously. When I’m pissed, I do stupid, radical things.”

Silence. Inside, outside. It is deafening.

“Why would she want me? I don’t deserve her, and knowing that I’ll have to live my life watching her in another man’s arms is ripping me apart.”

He’s breathing hard, like he just ran a marathon. It’s a terrifying prospect, facing his feelings head on. Until now, they were swirling around his head in an ugly tangle of emotion. Verbalising them, hearing them out loud, is painful and cathartic at once. But he’s already feeling like a pathetic little sap. He wonders if you would sneer at him if you heard. Is this what it feels like to lose? Is this how you felt, lifetimes ago, on your sofa? The two of you have always been push and pull, a forever impasse. But today, you’ve finally shoved him off balance.

Who is the stronger Ares now? Your kisses are his kryptonite.

A hand comes to rest over his.

“Love always finds a way. I know you’re feeling hopeless now, but know that if you are meant for each other, you will always find your way back,” Mrs Kang finishes with a gentle smile. The pretty words do not reassure him.

If only love was as perfect as love seems to be, if only his flaws and broken edges could be hidden away. But this is a dream that will never come to life, a flower that will never grow to bloom.

She does not know who it is that he is fighting with, who it is that is slipping away from him with every passing second. She thinks that it will be okay, but she does not know that Ares has no mercy. He expects none from you. Nonetheless, he gives her a watery grin in return before standing up to complete his rounds. He may have lost, but he has enough composure to know better than to break in public.

It is a monumental effort, holding it together.

Hyunjae makes it to the lift in peace, stepping in through the shiny doors and slamming the button for the fifth floor. When they slide open, the sight before him makes his heart drop like a wineglass.

You and Eric are standing across him, hand in hand. Eric’s foot is tapping impatiently, eager to drag you off to wherever he was taking you for dinner.

For a second, he loses control over his emotions. Agony crumples his face, and you, because you’re just that smart and just that perceptive, register it. He doesn’t have the heart to pretend anymore.

Hyunjae brushes past the two of you, ignoring your questioning look, ignoring Eric’s cheerful greeting, and most importantly ignoring the writhing in his chest. He goes straight for his briefcase and shoves his belongings in, flicking the lights off and rushing to the carpark. He does not want to see anyone. He does not want to process anything.

He is empty. So, so empty, and hollow. The void inside him threatens to consume him whole.

The moment he reaches home, he goes straight to his spirits. There’s a bottle of whiskey sitting in the top most shelf of his kitchen, a birthday gift from his father. He pulls it down, slamming the glass decanter onto the kitchen counter, and the pressure nearly cracks it open.

He remembers the sight of you pressed up against this very counter, squirming under his ministrations. He remembers your lips fall open in a sigh, and then to beg. He remembers standing between your thighs, feeding you and then licking cream off your lips. Memories swirl through his head, cutting through his ribcage and slicing his heart open.

He doesn’t bother to grab a glass, pouring the scorching liquid down his throat. It claws at him, and he welcomes the pain.

Love is cruel, love is cold. When it kills, it does it slow.

He knows the tears are coming. The pressure has been building in his head for the last twenty-four hours. They fall as he walks over to the living room, staring at his reflection in the mirror.

The mirror you clutched when you moaned wretchedly, promising him that HE was the only one who could ever ruin you this way.

He lifts the bottle, forcing himself to look his reflection in the eye as he drinks a toast to Eric. Here’s to you, buddy.

His reflection sneers back, bloodshot and desolate. A half of a whole, incomplete. This is what he is without you.

Hyunjae sinks to the ground, bottle thumping down on the carpet. It rolls once, twice, and rivulets of alcohol splash across the floor. Another memory lunges up.

There is nothing more striking than red on white. Blood on snow. Wine on cream skin, tracing paths his eager tongue follows. A hiss of anger that softens into a sigh.

The sofa smells like you. The study smells like you. You are everywhere, and it breaks him, tearing a wail of grief out of his chest.

One day, the smell of you will fade. You will slip between his fingers like the wisp of a dream, and all he will be left with is the recollection of the fleeting seconds you were his and his alone.

Too much. This is too much. He cannot think, he cannot see, he cannot breathe,without being haunted by you. You are in every orifice, in every nook and cranny and cell. You are in the water of his blood and in the porous hollows of his bones. You are in the fibre between his atoms, you are in the electricity racing across his neurons.

There is no escape from you, not now, not ever.

You are inevitable.

(Knock, knock)

It takes him a moment to realise that the pounding is not from the blood rushing in his head, but from someone impatiently banging on his door. He picks himself off the floor, not bothering to fix his appearance.

By now, you must be in Eric’s arms. He would kiss you softly, like summer rain. You would sigh into his lips, and he would look at you like you hung the moon. He would take you home, and press more kisses into your silk skin as he whispers his love. One day, he would get on one knee and present you with a diamond. You would say yes, because Eric is sunshine and warmth and laughter. Sunshine. Warmth. Laughter.

This, this is what you deserve. Not him, not his twisted mess of anger and jealousy. He is a stinging scorpion, and you deserve more than his petty poisons. But his heart still lurches at the thought of you, nestled into Eric.

The gods have always feared Aphrodite more than Ares. He thinks he can finally understand why.

He swings the door open, and once again forgets how to breathe, forgets how to think, forgets that he kinda hates you but now kinda loves you because there you are, raindrops glistening in your eyelashes, and you eclipse every star in the sky. There is nothing but you and you alone, and his withered little heart is shooting to life because that’s just what you do to him. There’s so much he wants to say, so many thoughts tumbling through his head. But he’s a frightful, useless coward, so all that flies out of his mouth is:

“Why the fuck are you--”

And then your lips are cushioned against his, kissing the venom out of him. He cannot help the sigh he breathes into your mouth at the way your body slots so perfectly against his.

Home, home is in your arms. He has been running all his life, and you have always been his only destination.

Tears slip out, hot and fast, washing the festering wound inside him clean. The cracked pieces of his soul begin to lift up and fuse together.

The light of a thousand suns slices through the void in him, and the darkness melts like ice on a hot summer day.

He is shuddering, wrecked by the sheer force of the emotions in him. But you are holding him tight, so very tight. He hopes you will never let him go. Never ever, ever let him go.

He is yours, and you are his. Where he ends, you begin and where you end, he begins. There is nothing else, no one else, because there was never anyone for him but you. Love not at first sight, or even the second, but at last sight and at ever and ever sight.

When you finally pull away to murmur the words he would have never even dreamed of hearing from you, it’s like starlight is filling the dusty hollows of his chest, sewing the pieces that have fallen apart back into the tapestry that is you. He is surprised, he really is, but something inside him has always known, has always clung to the hope that you would choose him, despite everything.

All that matters, is that you’ve come back to him. You are the only truth he’s ever known.

~~~

Later in the evening, when the two of you are spent from your love-making and coiled so tightly that your breaths have become one, Hyunjae takes a moment to contemplate the situation. You have won this competition between the two of you. You have planted yourself as first in his life, and for once (and of course, the only time ever, because he is still going to get that damn promotion before you), he is happy to cede to you. This is what love is, to break and to be broken, to be full and to be empty, to win and to lose. He would have it no other way. All that he is, and all that he will be, center around the axis that is you.

Do you feel like this too? Like your heart is bursting from the seams?

You sigh in your sleep, seemingly agreeing. He loves you so much, it hurts. But there is one final thing to do.

He lifts his head to the stars, who have been waiting for this collision of souls for a long, long time.

Thank you, he whispers.

And for once, Zeus smiles down on his Ares.

ENDING THOUGHTS:

First of all, a very big thank you to everyone who made it to the end!! This piece has been a wild, emotional ride from start to finish and I understand that the sudden change in style can be jarring for some. As such, I am very grateful to everyone who took the time to read it :)

Hyunjae has always been a very complicated character. We’ve seen him through Y/N’s eyes for the last 17 or so chapters, and she is definitely not the most reliable of narrators. Many of her thoughts regarding his actions and motivations are shadowed by her own negative emotions, and he has come off as a rather poisonous character, except for the rare moments of tenderness he seems to show. Hopefully this will help you get a glimpse into Hyunjae’s psyche, in a way that is untainted by Y/N. I’ve seen many of your asks about Hyunjae and his behaviour, and perhaps you will see this as a sort of redemption for him, in the sense that he is so much deeper and complex than the seething neanderthal Y/N sees him as.

Writing this was a challenge nonetheless, and I think we should all be very grateful to Dana for powering through Y/N and Hyunjae’s story, given how much of a hot mess this couple is! It’s very hard to write an enemies-to-lovers fic without it coming off as corny and shallow, and she had the double struggle of writing that dynamic in a medical setting. The fact that we’re all whipped for these two is testament to her brilliant writing, so let’s all say a big thank you for that :))

Before I end, I’d like to pay homage to some of the writers that have inspired this fic. Reading through, you will see quotes inspired by the likes of Nabokov, Cummings and Homer. If I’m not wrong, there’s a little bit of Sarah J Maas and Caitlyn Siehl in there as well. And of course, who can forget the little bits of mythology peeking out here and there? If you happened to notice these references, feel free to scream in Dana’s ask box! It’ll be fun to read your thoughts :)

Once again, a very big thank you for following Hostis so devotedly, and showering Dana with your love. I hope you’ll continue to give her all your love and support the rest of her works.

(P.S Did anyone notice Pilot! Juyeon? If you didn’t, you should 1000% check out his story too, here.)

Love Always,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter XVIII: Renuntiatio

#hyunjae #lee hyunjae #the boyz #the boyz hyunjae #the boyz lee hyunjae #timetohajima #timetohajima hostis

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cursebreaker-lilith · 4 years

Photo

I only posted her original profile in September, but I’ve changed some stuff and wanted to do a new drawing. Lili was pretty new to me then, and I’ve found her voice a lot more since so it only felt right to have a do over on her profile.

This is all up to the beginning of year 6.

EDIT: Some formatting changes made 5-12-21

BASICS

Name: Lilith Silvia Vesta Brooks

Nicknames: Lili, Pipsqueak, Pip

Name Meaning: Lilith references a figure from Jewish folklore, Silvia comes from her grandmother’s name and references a figure from Roman mythology, Vesta was also chosen by her grandmother and references the Roman goddess of the hearth.

Gender: Cis Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Age: 16 (Variable depending on what year I’m writing about)

Birthday: October 19th, 1972

Zodiac: Libra

Blood Status: Half-blood

Ethnicity/Nationality: White Brit

Sexuality: Self identifies primarily with queer but is okay with being called bisexual. Is also probably on both the asexual and aromantic spectrum, but the words for them hadn’t been coined in her time period.

Appearance

Body:

Height: 165cm / 5′5

Build: Average to stocky, hourglass shape

Eyes: A bright yellow-green, noticeably a bit big and round.

Hair: Pale blonde hair that is very thin and fine. She likes doing it up in different ways, from ponytails, to pigtails, to braids. Right before starting her 6th year, she cut her hair short and permed it on an impulse encouraged by her Muggle friends.

Skin: Pale skin that burns easily but quickly fades into a tan

Misc: Small and usually unnoticeable scars scattered across her hands and face from ice in the Ice Vault that will fade wholly with time (most already have by 6th year). Pierced ears--one in each lobe as a teenager but adds more as an adult.

Material Items:

Clothing: As a young child, she tried to keep up with mainstream Muggle fashion. She preferred lots of bright colors, stripes, gaudy jewelry, and scrunchies. Dear lord she loves scrunchies. As she got older however, she began to phase out of the bright colors and mainstream fashion into something which would soon be called grunge. Not completely grunge however as she still loves her statement earrings and scrunchies. Usually wears baggy/non form fitting clothing.

Accessories: Almost always wearing some sort of dangly and obnoxious statement earrings. Always has at least three scrunchies on her person.

In her school bag: Her wand, at least five scrunchies, school books and papers, books Rowan wants her to read, an old crochet penguin for good luck (her first attempt at crochet animals), crochet hooks and yarn, journal and papers related to Cursed Vault plans, at least three cool looking rocks she found on the ground.

Reference:

Face Claim: N/A

Voice Claim: N/A

Personality

Traits:

+ loyal, friendly, extroverted, responsible, mature, kind, adaptable, quick learner, resourceful, hopeful, courageous

+/— determined, good liar, intense, clever, intelligent, independent

— obsessive, untrusting, secretive, forceful, quick temper, angry, abrasive, single minded, rule breaker, rude, spiteful

Description:

Lili has a lot of pent up anger and a quick temper. She’s angry at her family, at authority, at the world. She’s not good at processing this anger and thus tends to lash out at people very often and often very cruelly and violently. She knows this and tries to keep in check but isn’t very good at doing so even as she ages. Because of her anger, she also tends to keep grudges for quite a while, even for stupid or petty reasons and is slow to admit she’s wrong.

In a better world, she would be known for her friendliness. Lili can be very friendly and relaxed. She talks first and makes a judgement second, trying to be as open minded as possible. She’s very casual yet polite and likes people being the same back to her.

Lili is determined in a way that tends towards the negative. Her laser focus on things tend to quickly become obsessions if someone she trusts doesn’t intervene quickly enough.

After her mother stopped being a parent towards her at a young age, Lili learned to take care of herself quickly. She’s become clever and resourceful in her steps to becoming independent. It’s left her mature and responsible for her age, but also untrusting and secretive, convinced she can do it on her own (or with Rowan only).

Lili is very loyal to those that earn her loyalty. For those she cares about, she would do anything. If you do something to lose that loyalty, expect harsh treatment after if Lili even deigns to speak to you. She’s not afraid of cutting people out of her life if they betray or anger her.

Other:

Likes: crafts (crochet, knitting, sewing), Rowan and Barnaby, scrunchies, dangly earrings, being busy, collecting things, fashion

Dislikes: Merula and Ismelda, Rakepick, Snape, most other Slytherins, people who get in her way, Dumbledore, Doctor Who after the 5th Doctor, not getting enough sleep, flying class

MBTI: ESTP

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Hogwarts

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

OWL Classes:

Astronomy: 6/10 (E)

Charms: 9/10 (O)

DADA: 9/10 (O)

Flying: 2/10 (A)

Herbology: 3/10 (A)

History of Magic: 2/10 (A)

Potions: 4/10 (A)

Transfiguration: 7/10 (E)

OWL Electives:

Ancient Runes: 9/10 (O)

Arithmancy: 6/10 (O)

Care of Magical Creatures: 6/10 (O)

NEWT Classes:

Ancient Runes: 9/10 (O)

Arithmancy: 6/10 (E)

Charms: 9/10 (O)

DADA: 9/10 (O)

Transfiguration: 7/10 (E)

Extracurriculars:

Clubs: Dueling Club (3rd-4th year), Fencing Club (2nd-5th year), Transfiguration Club (occasionally from 2nd year on)

Quidditch: N/A

Prefect or Head Boy/Girl: N/A

Best Classes:

Charms It’s the one class she’s very naturally talented at. She never needs to study much, but she barely has to try with Charms. Someday she’ll beat Ben and be the best in their year at the class.

Defense Against the Dark Arts She’s not good at this because of any professor, she’s good at this because of her excursions into the Cursed Vaults giving her practical knowledge.

Worst Classes:

Flying Listen, if people were meant to fly, then they’d have wings, or a spell letting people properly fly would be created by now. Lili will be staying on the ground, thank you very much.

Herbology She’s lived in the city her whole life and being around so many plants is strange. She doesn’t hate the class, but she does use it to catch up with her friends rather than study.

Potions She doesn’t have the patience for potions, and that’s even when she doesn’t have Snape refusing to acknowledge her existence.

Favorite Professors:

Flitwick She thinks Flitwick is great. There’s not much more to say. He’s responsible but not smothering, and still thinks well of her brother. If she ever had to pick an adult to trust, it would be Flitwick.

Kettleburn She had taken Care of Magical Creatures because Rowan had wanted a third elective and Lili didn’t want to take Muggle Studies or Divination. However, she ended up loving the class and thinks Kettleburn is hilarious. She honestly wished she could take the class NEWT level, but her schedule was already full.

Least Favorite Professors:

Snape She has a very complicated relationship with Snape. He hates her because of her brother (who he did not get along with), because she reminds him of James Potter, and because her nickname, Lili, reminds him of his lost love Lily Evans every time he hears it. Lili, of course, does not know any of this and thinks he just hates her for no reason. Jacob thought he was a Death Eater (he got that from whispers older kids who Jacob knew were definitely Death Eaters), so Lili uses that as justification to not like him.

Rakepick She never trusted her and barely liked her, even before she became a professor. Her opinion didn’t go improve any time in fifth year.

Magic

1st Wand: Blackthorn, unicorn hair, 11 3/4 in, shiny and slightly flexible

“Blackthorn, which is a very unusual wand wood, has the reputation, in my view well-merited, of being best suited to a warrior. This does not necessarily mean that its owner practises the Dark Arts (although it is undeniable that those who do so will enjoy the blackthorn wand’s prodigious power); one finds blackthorn wands among the Aurors as well as among the denizens of Azkaban.”

2nd Wand: Aspen, phoenix feather, 12 in, fairly rigid

“In my experience, aspen wand owners are generally strong-minded and determined, more likely than most to be attracted by quests and new orders; this is a wand for revolutionaries.”

Special Abilities: Natural Legilimens, Occlumency

Boggart

Form: Jacob telling her she’s useless and unwanted and that everything she’s doing is for nothing.

Riddikulus: Has not found anything yet that works

Amortentia

What they smell: the Owlery, Standard Ingredient, and something else, something she can’t figure out

What they smell like to others: Lavender, hot chocolate, campfire smoke

Patronus

Form: A goshawk. Independent and intelligent hunters who focus intently on stalking their prey.

Memory: A childhood memory of going to a fair. Jacob looked after her the entire night, and it’s one of the last times she remembers seeing both of her parents laugh.

What they see in the Mirror of Erised: Herself with her family–Jacob is there and looks like how she remembers him, and her mother and father are holding hands and smiling. As she ages, her mother and father are phased out of the image and replaced by her friends, her new family.

FAMILY

Father: David Brooks

Muggle

b. 1943

Works at an accounting firm.

In theory, he was alright with magic and the wizarding world. In practice, it unnerved him more than he could say. When his children started doing accidental magic, and when Jacob came home from Hogwarts talking about nothing but spells and magic, that was it for David. He filed for divorce in 1980 and hasn’t spoken to his ex-wife or children since. He has since married to a fellow Muggle, treating her children as his own and speaking rarely of his biological children. He doesn’t even know Jacob disappeared.

Mother: Carina Flora Brooks (nee Braddock)

Pureblood

b. 1944

Ravenclaw

Works for a wizarding travel magazine as a photographer, travels around the world frequently

She was perhaps not meant to be a mother, and would have been happier following in her brother’s shoes of travelling the world with no responsibilities. However, her mother was insisting she marry and Carina, in a fit of rebellion, decided to marry a nice Muggle she knew instead of the purebloods her mother had picked out.

Carina was never very good with either of her children, and in particular could never get along with Jacob, resorting to abuse (emotional and physical) to try to get him to behave how she wanted. Despite this, she totally shut down when Jacob disappeared, feeling like a failure. This led to her severely neglecting her daughter to wallow in her own misery day and night. It also led to an irrational hatred of Hogwarts. She refuses to read any letters sent by them and has made several subtle attempts to make Lili miss the Hogwarts Express.

Brother: Jacob Seraphinus Ulysses Brooks

Half-blood

b. March 8th, 1967

Slytherin

Currently missing.

Never able to make friends easily or keep his mouth shut, Jacob always had a hard time fitting in, so he turned to books. He preferred fiction over nonfiction, but one history book’s mention of Cursed Vaults on Hogwarts’ grounds led to a search that would dominate his, and his sister’s, life.

He was an outcast in his house and Hogwarts, besides for a few acquaintances, and instead focused on reaching his goals. He was reckless and brave (the Sorting Hat considered putting him in Gryffindor), but obsessive, secretive, and increasingly dependent on the idea of “the end justifies the means.”

Grandfather: Ambrose Braddock

Pureblood

b. 1903

Ravenclaw

Deceased

Known for being Britain’s first natural Legilimens in a century. The Braddock family is known for being a line of natural Legilimens, but none in the family had had the ability in five generations before Ambrose was born. This ended up leading to an offer of marriage from the Malfoy family who wanted the connection to this rare ability. Later realized his grandson was also a natural Legilimens, but died before he could teach Jacob more than the basics on how to control it and never realized his granddaughter also had the ability.

Died of sickness in 1975 at age 72

Grandmother: Silvia Braddock (nee Malfoy)

Pureblood

b. 1911

Slytherin

Never worked, has always been a housewife

Your typical upper class, conservative grandmother. She may not believe that strongly in pureblood mania anymore, but she still believes in things like “children should be seen, not heard,” and corporal punishment. Was in an arranged marriage to Ambrose and never really grew to love him feeling she was marrying beneath her Malfoy heritage. Fairly reclusive nowadays, only entertaining old friends for brunch and going to the occasional pureblood party.

Uncle: Victor Felinus Braddock

Pureblood wizard

b. 1940

Gryffindor

Has a different job every few months, deosn’t really needs to have one and his work ethic shows that

Considered a fun uncle by his nephew, and an annoyance by his niece. Has a lot of stories, and a slight drinking problem. While his mother was annoyed at him for having a dalliance with a Muggle-born, she was even more furious that he refused to marry Suzie. Victor didn’t want to be tied down, and left her to raise their two daughters only appearing in their lives every few years.

Cousins: Donna and Caroline Jones

Half-bloods

b. 1960 and 1975

Both Gryffindor

Welsh

Their mother Susan Jones was a Muggle-born Sorted into Gryffindor in the same year as Victor Braddock. The two have had an on again, off again relationship since their Hogwarts years that has resulted in two daughters.

Donna was sorted into Gryffindor in 1971 (meaning she would have been roommates with Lily Evans which is a coincidence I swear) and it’s easy to see why. She’s confident, brash, and blunt. She has many problems with her father and refuses to interact with that side of the family. Works in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement for the Ministry.

Caroline is the opposite of her much older sister and was surprised to find herself in Gryffindor (Sorted there in Lili’s 3rd year). She’s timid and quiet, but with a backbone hidden underneath. She wilts at any negative tones, but is always ready to extend a hand to anyone who has hurt her, even multiple times.

Step family: Sabina Brooks, Ioan and Luca Ciobanu

Muggles

b. 1949, 1975, and 1980

Immigrants from Romania to England

After divorcing Carina, David began dating Sabina shortly after and later married her, acting as a father to her two young children. The four of them live together in London.

Pets:

Alfred An easily frightened black cat that once belonged to Jacob

Doctor Hoot A large barred owl that frequently forgets it’s an owl and not a lapdog

FRIENDS

Best Friends:

Rowan Khanna Her best friend!! She originally befriended Rowan because Rowan reminded her of her muggle friend, but it soon blossomed into a different, much closer relationship. Whenever Rowan is gone, Lili doesn’t really know what to do (”I’m going to cut all the sleeves off my robes.” “Why??” “Rowan left an hour ago and she’s like 85% of my impulse control.”) and Lili would never have made it through any of the Cursed Vaults without her. She probably also would have gotten expelled for brawling and dueling in like second year without Rowan. I’m not joking about that impulse control thing.

Barnaby Lee Lili didn’t like Barnaby at first. Even before he worked for Merula, she thought he was nothing more than a stupid jock and made fun of how Snape would pick on him in Potions. Then she actually talked to him and did a complete 180. “I’ve only known Barnaby for an hour, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and them myself.” She liked how sweet and genuine he was despite his awful upbringing. He’s always there to support her, and she’s really grown to love him for that. He once thought he had a crush on her, but it wasn’t really romantic (”The feeling was friendship but he had never experienced it before.”).

Good Friends:

Bill Weasley He’s like the big brother Jacob should’ve been. She was not thrilled to have a complete stranger helping with the Vaults, but in hindsight she’s so very glad she listened to Rowan. Lili isn’t sure she could have gotten half of what she’s done done without Bill’s help and steadfastness.

Charlie Weasley Their friendship kind of crept up on Lili. Charlie was closer friends with Ben and Barnaby, so while Lili had a passing familiarity with him before the Forest Vault, she wouldn’t have called them friends. She was surprised when she turned out to really enjoy his company when he started helping with the Cursed Vaults.

Chiara Lobosca Chiara was someone Lili tangentially knew due to people confusing them for each other (the hair color; once Chiara hits a growth spurt and Lili doesn’t people stop). Then Lili is forced to partner with Chiara in Herbology in 3rd year, and besides seeing her Herbology grade go up the slightest bit, she finds a friend in Chiara, appreciating the girl’s seemingly infinite kindness.

Friends:

Nymphadora Tonks They get along in classes, but Lili doesn’t trust Tonks with anything serious.

Liz Tuttle The two have many overlapping friends but don’t really hang out with each other.

Badeea Ali She really respects Badeea, but they just don’t have many reasons to be around each other.

Jae Kim Lili thinks he’s hilarious and very smart, but doesn’t trust him as far as she could throw him.

It’s Complicated:

Ben Copper Probably the most complicated relationship here. She befriended him out of pity and continued their friendship because of his skill at Charms. He’s had a crush on her since they were 11 when she stood up for him which no one had ever done before. Then the Red Robed Wizard Reveal tm happened and Lili dropped him and ignored him, though he tried to make it up to her. 6th year only drives a deeper wedge between them as Lili can’t stand his recent behaviour. Ben finally confessing about his love for Lili in 6th year didn’t help mend anything either.

Tulip Karasu After finding out that Tulip had purposefully not told her about Jacob’s room, Lili instantly decided she was an undesirable but necessary ally. Lili does not like Tulip for most of their time at Hogwarts as she’s really pissed that someone would keep her brother’s things from her. Lili will talk to her about the Cursed Vaults, but they do not hang out and Lili does not consider her a friend. This really, really hurts Tulip’s feelings but Lili doesn’t really care. The relationship does get a bit better in 6th year, but it’s never going to be a close one. In a better world without the Vaults, they’d probably get along smashingly as while Lili isn’t a prankster, she has no problem egging them on.

Love Interests:

Penny Haywood Her first, longest, and most confusing crush. She was wary of Penny at first. Popular girls were rarely that 100% nice, but Penny truly was. She also had a nice smile and pretty hair and soft hands…. It took Lili quite a while (like four years and Bill telling her) to figure out it was a crush and then….she did absolutely nothing. She panicked and stopped talking to Penny for a while before sheepishly apologizing when Penny confronted her. They went to the Celestial Ball together, but “as friends.” That did not stop them from having a Moment that Lili interpreted completely wrongly and she assumed Penny didn’t like her romantically. Penny in fact did, and since Lili never reacted to their Moment in the proper way, Penny assumed that Lili wasn’t interested. The two continued having crushes on each other for the rest of their time at Hogwarts and remained close friends after they both graduated.

Talbott Winger Her second, less confusing, crush. Similar to Barnaby, Lili didn’t think much of Talbott at first. He was that one kid who was talented at Transfiguration and she once saw him chatting casually to an owl in the Owlery. He was weird and she ignored him. Then she was paired with him on a class assignment in 3rd year and a friendship bloomed despite Talbott’s protests. It was a casual thing at first, but then Lili helped Talbott find his mom’s necklace, and their talk under the stars about family and the past and future deepened their friendship. Having already figured out she had a crush on Penny by this time, she managed to get the signs that she now also had a crush on Talbott, which made her panic, again. However, since Talbott is even worse with emotions than her, she didn’t do anything drastic like she did with Penny. They went on one date in 6th year but that was going too fast for Talbott and they decided to stay friends until Talbott felt more comfortable being around people. Lili took this….mostly gracefully.

Diego Caplan The two met in the Dueling Club in 4th year. Diego was impressed with Lili’s skill and tried to befriend her and also maybe flirt with her a bit. Lili, who tends to gravitate towards people who are unashamedly themselves, found his over the top flirting hilarious and was instantly endeared to Diego. She really enjoyed being around him, finding his lightheartedness helped her forget some of her troubles with the Cursed Vaults, especially in 5th year. He asked her out on a date, her first one, and she agreed. She enjoyed the date, but 5th year was the peak of her obsession with the Cursed Vaults so she broke it off. They later dated again during 6th year, after Lili’s one date with Talbott.

Dormmates:

Rowan Khanna see above

Desdemona Selwyn An OC. Their entire relationship can be explained with that one text post that’s like “Bitch.” “Blocked.” “Wait unblock me I need to tell you something.” “Unblocked.” “Bitch.”

Vidalia Barrows An OC. Lili has said like two sentences to Vidalia and she plans to keep it that way. Vidalia just eats and sleeps and does whatever Desdemona says to do.

Doesn’t Interact:

Murphy McNully/Skye Parkin/Orion Amari/Erika Rath She’s not involved in Quidditch.

Andre Egwu I just can’t think of a way to work him into the plot lol They would get along somewhat well otherwise.

Enemies:

Merula Snyde Hated each other’s guts for a while. Then Lili gave up her Frog Choir spot and Merula gained a small crush (even if Lili was a total ass about giving it up). While they’ll never be friends, by the time of 5th and 6th year they’ve become reluctant allies similar to Lili and Tulip above. Lili will probably never totally befriend her, but she’s learned to be civil and that’s progress.

Ismelda Murk Lili doesn’t really like Ismelda but she considers her all bark and no bite. Ismelda hates Lili because she thinks Lili and Barnaby are gonna end up dating and is jealous.

Desdemona Selwyn An OC. See above.

Most of Slytherin House Lili has never been shy about being half Muggle and being proud of it, and in a house that still worships Voldemort, that sets her apart. The few that don’t find her being pro-Muggle distasteful don’t want to be exiles in their own dorms and avoid talking to her.

Story

Childhood:

Lili’s childhood was never that great. Her parents fought frequently over her and Jacob’s use of accidental magic, and this eventually caused them to divorce when Lili was 9. Her mother in particular was emotionally and physically abusive but Jacob spared her from the worst of it.

Jacob was always the best part of her childhood. She loved her parents, but Jacob was the person she always looked forward to seeing. When he went to Hogwarts, she was upset for weeks, and when he went missing, she was devastated (especially as he went missing the night of her birthday).

Her mother didn’t take it well. Carina was not particularly close with Jacob, but this obviously big failure of her as a parent hit her hard. She became very emotionally withdrawn from Lili and threw herself into her photography work, leaving the country, and Lili, for weeks at a time.

Lili had to become very independent very quickly after that. That, plus the fact that she didn’t have any non-Muggle friends meant she trusted very few people and lied often. Getting her Hogwarts letter was a relief and a promise of freedom

Hogwarts:

: )

see here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1467043

Adulthood:

Lili is very distraught after graduation and leaves everyone she knows behind to travel Europe and find herself. She spends several years doing this, helping people and doing odd jobs.

Eventually, she finds that she has a talent for languages, picking up a few easily in her travels, and starts to consider possibly doing something related to language whenever she goes back to Britain.

Miscellaneous

She fuckin loves scrunchies.

Has lived in a Muggle neighbourhood her whole life.

Likes muggle TV. Grew up watching Doctor Who. Not impressed with the 6th Doctor, and glad she was away at Hogwarts during his run. Favorite Doctor is the 4th and she knit herself her own version of his scarf.

Likes collecting things! She loves cool rocks on the sidewalk, tacky tourist souvenirs, and things you find for $1 in a thrift store.

She can knit, crochet and sew. She likes making little crochet animals and giving them to friends (or just keeping them and having a plushy empire around her bed).

Loves having her photo taken and has a whole collection of photos, but hates taking photos. It reminds her of her mother.

One of her Muggle friends got her into fencing. She thought it would be useful to hone her athletic skills with, so she continued doing it when she went back to Hogwarts in the fall.

The type of person who needs to be doing something 24/7. When she doesn’t have anything to focus on, she tends to be all over the place and rather annoying.

Quieter and more complacent as a kid. it was after her family broke apart that the need to be so driven started to become a part of her personality.

Love Like You from Steven Universe is a song for her and Jacob (from Jacob’s POV)

Chameleon by Michela is a song that fits her

Tropes:

Big Brother Worship

Determinator

Family Eye Resemblance

Good is Not Nice

Hair Trigger Temper

Jerk with a Heart of Gold

Parental Neglect

#hphm #harry potter hogwarts mystery #hogwarts mystery #hphm mc #jacob's sibling #jacobs sibling #lili brooks #art be mine #this is super long lol #pls enjoy #texttexttext post

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swanqueeneverafter · 4 years

Text

The Once & Future Queen Pt.1

Enchanted Forest. Past. King Leopold's Palace. (Regina sits alone weeping, looking down at the ring Daniel gave to her.) Regina: (Softly:) "Daniel." Henry Sr: "There you are. I've been looking all over for you. How are you enjoying your new home?" Regina: "You mean my new prison." Henry Sr: (Sighs:) "Oh, Regina. (Sits beside her:) It doesn't have to be." Regina: "I lost everything, Daddy. My love, my future. (Places the ring on her finger:) My happiness is buried with Daniel." Henry Sr: "You still have a future, Regina. You're Queen, that's every girl's dream." Regina: "No, it was mother's. My dream was to love, Daddy. True Love! And now it's gone." Henry Sr: "The King is a good man. Kind. Fair. You can learn to love him and his daughter Snow White." Regina: "No, I can't. I will never love again. And no one will ever love me.”

Storybrooke. Present. (Regina is seated on a park bench lost in her thoughts. Henry sits beside her not saying anything, just simply being there for his mother.)

(Seeing Alice approach from a distance, Henry gets up to meet her.) Henry: "Hey." Alice: "Hey. How's she doing?" Henry: "Inconsolable, as you can imagine." Alice: "Poor thing." Henry: "Yeah." Alice: "Look, I know this is going to sound insensitive and selfish, but do you have any idea how much longer she expects Zelena to look after Maria? I mean I get it, Zelena offered and loves looking after her, but with Maleficent gone and Robin pretty much in charge of the bar, she really needs her Mum's help. I’m there as much as I can be but, I love my job at the library and I'd hate to have to give it up." Henry: (Nods:) "I got it, don't worry, I'll talk to her. I should've stepped up sooner. Maria's my sister after all. I'll take care of it." Alice: "Thanks, Henry. (Looks over to Regina:) Give her my love, won't you?" Henry: "Yeah." (Henry heads back to his mom as Alice walks away feeling somewhat guilty.) The Dragon's Lair. (While Zelena rocks Maria in her arms, Robin works on her new drinks menu.) Robin: “There, finished. Do you want to try something from the new ‘Wanderlust Menu’? It's inspired by all the best drinks I had on my travels.” Robin Hood: (Leans over to look:) “Impressive list.” Zelena: (Also looking:) “Oh, is that an Indian drink I see?” Robin: “It is, and it's made with real rose petals. It'll blow your mind. Such a beautiful country. They have these sprightly trees called Arunchal Hopea. They went extinct nearly 20 years ago. People thought they'd make good fence posts.” Robin Hood: “That's terrible. But that's what people do. They destroy things. Having lived most of my adult life outdoors, I can honestly say there's no greater pest than humanity.” Robin: (Snorts:) “That’s odd coming from a legendary champion of the people.” Robin Hood: “Wrong Robin Hood, my dear. I believe you’re thinking of your father.” Robin: “Hm.” Zelena: “Speaking of fatherhood, don’t you think I look wonderful with a babe in my arms? Kinda makes you think, doesn’t it?” Robin Hood: “Uh... not really.” Zelena: “Oh come on, don’t you wonder what our child would look like?” Robin: “Um, hello?!” Zelena: “Oh, yeah. Sorry, darling.” (Robin shakes her head then goes to hang up the new menu.)

Swan-Mills House. (Ella opens the front door and finds Drizella and Anastasia standing there.) Ella: “Anastasia. Drizella. What are you doing here?” Drizella: “I'll tell you what I'm not doing. (Points to a box at her feet:) Carrying that any further.” Anastasia: “We found some old stuff of Cecelia’s that we don’t remember. We though maybe some of it belonged to you.” Drizella: “If you want it, you can take it.” Ella: (Steps aside to allow them entry:) “Come on in. It's nice to see you two.” Drizella: “We would’ve been here earlier, but I just carried a box full of stuff to your doorstep.” Anastasia: “Oh, calm down. I offered to magic us here.” Drizella: “Yeah, right and give you a chance to show off to Ella? Make sure she chooses you as her favourite sister?” (They walk towards the kitchen.) Anastasia: “Hey, I found the box to begin with. Didn't even get a thank you.” Ella: “All right you two, no one’s playing favourites. So, why are you really here? To talk about Mom?” Drizella: “Hey, we’re your family. You remember, that thing you were so desperate to find? Do you even care why we’re here?” Anastasia: “We came to see how you’re holding up. You know, it's been a week now since Emma disappeared.” Ella: (Dryly:) “Really? I hadn’t realised.” Drizella: “Woah, okay, tap your brakes, Ella. We get that you’re still processing.” Anastasia: “You gained two sisters and lost a mother-in-law on the same day. It’s a lot to wrap your head around.” Drizella: “Especially since you accused your other mother-in-law of murder.” Ella: (Smiles, despite herself:) “Yeah, well, everybody has problems.” Drizella: “Exactly, so quit wallowing in self-pity and take a look through this box we brought you. (Knocks the lid of the box off:) There could be something in here to cheer you up. (Pulls out a ragged looking doll:) Like this thing, for example.” Ella: (Stares at the doll:) “It...It’s Beatrice. (Reaching out for it:) I never thought I'd see her again. I can’t believe she kept this.” Drizella: “I figured she was second hand. I just had no idea she belonged to you.” Ella: (Pulls Drizella into a hug:) “Thank you, so so much.” Anastasia: “Our childhood seems like so long ago. Almost like another world.” Ella: “Mm. Exactly like another world in my case.” Drizella: “So, what does a girl have to do to get a drink around here?” Ella: (Wipes her eyes:) “Sorry, what would you like?” Drizella: “Well if we’re going to talk about the past, we’d better make it something strong, right?” Anastasia: “Drizzy, it’s eleven in the morning.” Drizella: “Right, which means it has to be five o’clock somewhere.” Enchanted Forest. Past. (Tiger Lily and Mulan discuss their options while Emma walks ahead of them.) Tiger Lily: "We could contact the Fairies, there's a good chance Blue and the others might have some ideas." Mulan: "I thought the time-travel spell had never been done before Zelena? Surely if the Fairies knew anything about it they'd spend most of their days going back in time to fix things." Tiger Lily: "That's true, but they could still help us." Emma: (Stops walking:) "We're not asking the Fairies for help. (Turns to face them:) Not only did they ruin Rumplestiltskin's life the moment he was born, but they stood by and did nothing while Regina's life crumbled around her." Tiger Lily: "But you-" Emma: "No! You above all know how the Fairies work. It's because of your actions that we ended up being stuck here in the past! If you hadn't taken Morgause away to be raised by the High Priestesses-" Tiger Lily: "Then Uther would've killed her." Emma: "And so this is better?!" Mulan: "Emma..." Emma: "We're trapped here in the past not knowing where or when we even are! And I've already been through this crap before!" Tiger Lily: (Calmly:) "I know. Which is why I'm not worried." Emma: "Of course you're not! You don't have a family waiting for you back home! You don't have a wife you love more than the air you breathe or a daughter you promised never to spend a day of her life away from!"

Mulan: "Hey! (Steps between Tiger Lily and Emma:) Back off, Emma. You're not the only one with someone they love back home, all right? Screaming at each other isn't going to achieve anything other than attract unwanted attention. So why don't we all take a moment to calm down, then think of a way to get us home." Tiger Lily: (Sees a carriage approaching:) "Quickly, hide yourselves." (The three women hurry from the roadside to duck behind some trees. As the carriage passes, a familiar face stares out from the window.) Mulan: "Who was that?" Tiger Lily: "King Leopold." Mulan: “Leopold?” Emma: (Amazed:) "My Grandfather." Tiger Lily: "Well, at least that gives us some idea of 'when' we are." Mulan: (Stares back to see the spires of the palace behind them:) "The Dark Palace. Do you think Regina's in there?" (Emma stares hopefully back at the palace, momentarily excited by the thought of seeing some version of her wife.) Emma: (Shakes her head, determined:) "Well if she is we're not going anywhere near her. I won't jeopardise our chances of returning home to our timeline by seeing Regina here in the past." Tiger Lily: (Smiles supportively:) "Good thinking. Since you've been in this situation before, we'll follow your lead." Mulan: "Agreed. So where should we go?" Emma: (Takes a moment to think:) "We head into town. We need to put as much distance between us and the palace as possible. Then we can find a place to eat and come up with a plan. I'm starving and can't think on an empty stomach." (With that, they continue down the long dirt road, Leopold's carriage fading into the distance ahead of them.) Plains of Denaria. Present. (A cloaked figure struggles to pull a horse cart along a dusty road. Four nights approach on horseback.) Sir Leon: “Halt! (The cloaked woman stops:) Stay where you are. (The woman sets down the cart handles as the knights dismount, Sir Elyan among them:) Where are you headed?” Woman: “The Seas of Meredor.”

Sir Leon: “What’s in the cart? (The woman says nothing. Sir Leon motions for the other knights to search it and the woman finally turns around:) Lady Morgana.” (Morgana uses her magic to throw each of the knights to the ground. She looks around, pulls off her hood and pulls down a blanket in the cart.) Morgana: “Are you alright?” Morgause: “Yes, thank you, Sister. But we must hurry. Night is nearly upon us. (Morgause turns her face towards Morgana, revealing a hideous deformity to the right side of her face:) And we still have far to go.”

Camelot. Council Chambers. (Sir Leon and Sir Elyan ride into the square and report to Guinevere and the Council.) Sir Leon: “The reports are true, Your Majesty. We caught up with Morgana on the Plains of Denaria.” Guinevere: “Was she alone?” Sir Elyan: (Shakes head:) “There was someone else.” Guinevere: “Morgause.” Sir Elyan: “We couldn’t be sure.” (A man speaks from the shadows.) Agravaine: “Where was Morgana heading?” Sir Leon: “To the Seas of Meredor.” Lancelot: “Isle of the Blessed.” (Agravaine steps into the light.) Agravaine: “I’ll send out patrols at first light.” Guinevere: “Thank you, Agravaine.” Sir Leon: (To Agravaine:) “Sire, you should know her powers have grown. Sir Bertrand and Sir Montague are both dead.” Guinevere: “Keep me informed of any developments.” (The councilmen all bow and exit. Agravaine and Lancelot remain.) Agravaine: “We knew she couldn’t stay hidden forever. Mustn’t live in fear, Guinevere. Camelot is strong. If Morgana were to act, we’d be ready for her.” Guinevere: “You’re right, of course. I’m grateful for your counsel as always, Agravaine.” Agravaine: “I made a promise to Morgana’s mother that I’d always be there for her, but this path she’s on now... The only way to save her is to purge Morgana of this darkness that has overtaken her soul.” (Guinevere nods and exits alongside Lancelot.) Seas of Meredor. (Morgana helps Morgause limp out of the cart in the foggy wood.) Morgause: “The Isle of the Blessed. (Morgana helps Morgause to the dock. A ferryman waits for them by a longboat. He holds out his hand. Morgause places a coin in it:) You know where we wish to go.” (The sisters huddle in the boat, the ferryman at the helm, as it glides across the sea.)

The Enchanted Forest. Past. (Tinker Bell and Regina walk down an alleyway. They stop outside of a tavern.) Tinker Bell: “Inside here, lies the beginning of your happiness. All the pain in your past will be just that. The past.” (Tinker Bell walks to a window.) Regina: “I just need a moment.” Tinker Bell: “You’re nervous. I get it. But look! (With his back turned to them a man is sitting inside:) That must be him. (Regina steps in to take a look at him herself. The man raises his right arm so that a waitress can refill his cup. A lion tattoo can be seen on his right arm:) The guy with the lion tattoo.” Regina: (Doubtfully:) “That’s him?” Tinker Bell: “The Pixie dust lead us to this tavern and it never lies. Come on, who else could it be? This is your chance at love and happiness. A fresh start. No baggage. You can let go of all the anger that weighs you down. Now, get him.” Regina: (Takes a deep breath:) “Okay. Okay, I can do this. I can be happy.” Tinker Bell: “I know you can. Go.” (Tinker Bell leaves. Walking back down the alleyway, she stops at the sound of her name.) Tiger Lily: “Hey, Tink.” (Tiger Lily steps into the light.) Tinker Bell: “Tiger Lily? What are you doing here?” Tiger Lily: (Smiling:) “It’s a long story. Come, we mustn’t be seen here.” (Tiger Lily leads Tinker Bell down a side street and out of sight.) Meanwhile... (Regina hesitates a moment longer outside the tavern, then opens the door. The man with the lion tattoo rejoices with a group of other men, sharing a drink with them. Regina watches the scene for a moment, then with overwhelming fear, she closes the door and flees. Regina rushes around a corner and bumps into someone, knocking them over.) Regina: “Oh! I’m so sorry, are you all right?” Emma: (Staring up at her, eyes wide, panicked:) “I... (Gulps:) I’m fine.”

#sq #swanqueen #swan queen

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jackiesarch · 4 years

Text

Tagged by the lovely @amistrio to do this meme - it was long as hell but it was fun! Thank you!

Not tagging anyone because I know it’s done the rounds now, but if you see this and want to take a shot at this monster, please do!

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

They both make a conscious effort not to yell when they’re angry, but when they do end up having a nasty, explosive argument, Tommy’s the one that gets loud.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?

Neither of them. They don’t play with those kinds of threats just over disagreements. If they ever really wanted to leave one another, they’d talk about it endlessly.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?

Same as above — they don’t make those threats or take those actions lightly.

Who trashes the house?

Neither of them. Tommy once punched the bathroom mirror after one of their more serious arguments, but Maura had left the house to clear her head, and the only thing he ended up with was a cut up hand and a lot of shame.

Do either of them get physical?

Never.

How often do they argue/disagree?

Not very often! They have the occasional disagreement or petty argument like any couple, but they’re not prone to fighting. Their relationship is very happy and very solid.

Who is the first to apologise?

Almost always, Tommy. Mostly because Tommy is more likely to get angry than Maura in the first place, but also because he hates how he feels after he’s said something mean or acted childishly. He hates feeling like he’s hurt the person he loves.

Sex:

Who is on top?

A good chunk of the time, it’s Maura. Tommy says it’s because he likes to watch her and that’s the best way to do it, but Maura secretly suspects he’s just a little lazy.

She doesn’t mind.

Who is on the bottom?

Evidently, mostly Tommy. They switch it up often enough, but it’s safe to say that Maura regularly has Tommy flat on his back.

Who has the strangest desires?

They’re both pretty normal, to be honest — if anything, Tommy might be a little more spicy in terms of desires. He’s the medium salsa, and Maura is the mild.

That doesn’t mean they won’t try anything new, though! As long as they talk about it first and don’t bring it into the bedroom with zero warning, they’re both up for spicing things up.

Any kinks?

Maura is really into being edged, whenever they actually have the time to draw things out that long. Tommy is more than happy to help her out.

Who’s dominant in bed?

Tommy, generally. Maura spends most of her professional life in a leadership role — she doesn’t need to bring it to bed, too. She likes letting him take control.

Is head ever in the equation?

It is! I wouldn’t say it’s an ‘every single time they have sex’ kind of thing, but it’s not rare by any means.

If so, who is better at performing it?

I’m not saying Maura is very gifted with her mouth, but—that’s exactly what I’m saying.

Ever had sex in public?

They never have — not fully publicly, at least. The thought of being caught is terrifying to Maura. Sex is their alone, intimate time. They don’t want to share it with anyone else.

Who moans the most?

Tommy is a surprisingly vocal guy, and that’s that on that.

Who leaves the most marks?

Tommy. He’s very cautious about it when they first start dating — he doesn’t want to hurt her, he doesn’t want to embarrass her — but honestly? Maura likes it. Something about waking up and seeing marks on her hips where his hands were the night before gets her.

Who’s the more experienced of the two?

Tommy. Maura hadn’t had many partners before the outbreak, and after? Well, putting it bluntly, she only ever had herself. Tommy is the first person she’s slept with in a very long time.

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

There’s a time and a place for both! It really depends on the circumstances.

Rough or soft?

Again, a time and a place for both — but more often than not, soft.

...still, a girl could stand to be a little manhandled every now and then.

How long do they usually last?

Honestly, this is another one where the circumstances are important. Sometimes when you’re desperate and tired of holding out, things don’t last as long as you’d like them to!

For the most part, they’re pretty average in that respect. They’re not superhuman, but it’s not over right away either.

Is protection used?

It is not easy to find suitable protection in a post-apocalyptic wasteland — so no. They make it work.

Does it ever get boring?

Not really! They change things up often enough that it doesn’t just become routine.

Where is the strangest place they’ve have sex?

God, if Maxine knew this, she would torment Maura about it until the end of time as payback for all the teasing about The Table Incident, but...

In the back room of the empty clinic after hours. One time!

Family:

Do they plan on having children/or have children?

Hoo boy. That’s a tough one — one of the very few things they have heated arguments over, actually.

Maura wants a baby. Tommy is adamantly opposed to it — not because he doesn’t want kids, but because Maura is forty-five and childbirth is dangerous and he saw what happened when Max had Emma. He will not lose Maura. It’s just not worth it to him, as much as he genuinely wishes that they could have kids.

He wishes that things were different. He really does. He loves her and it makes him physically ache to say no because he wants it — and that’s exactly what he tells her after their last big fight about it. It takes Maura a very long time to accept she’s not getting her white picket fence American dream, but she makes peace with it eventually. All the more reason for her to be the greatest aunt in all of Wyoming.

If so, how many children do they want/have?

Maura would have been happy with just the one. Tommy, despite saying no to having any, will admit to imagining a couple babies with Maura’s pretty green eyes running around Jackson.

No Outbreak AU is kind and gives them two little girls — Maggie and Zoe.

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle?

Both of them! They’re a very affectionate couple and like to be close, so they can always be found snuggling in one form or another when they’re in bed or on the couch.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

Tommy Miller has been found guilty of this on at least the first seven counts of the indictment against him. Seriously — he’s absolutely pulled the “getting up behind her and helping her with her stance” ruse when watching Maura practice her shooting, just so he can tease her. He’s incorrigible.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themselves?

Awful, awful Tommy. He’s tactile! He likes to touch! He can’t help it that he thinks his wife is the prettiest lady he’s ever seen!

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

Depends! If they’re cuddling while they’re sleeping, could be all night, or at least until one of them wakes and rolls over or something. If they’re awake and on the couch, usually Maura makes it about an hour before some part of her goes numb and she has to get up or shift herself around.

Who gives the most kisses?

They are a pretty even split, to be honest. They like to give each other little smooches throughout the day. Lately, though, Tommy’s been shrugging off work to sneak down to the clinic for a kiss or two, so the rankings are in limbo.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?

Cooking together! They don’t always get to do it, especially when Maura has to stay late at work to tend to the sick or the injured, but they both enjoy it. Dancing around each other in the kitchen, stealing bites of food and easy kisses—it’s their exact brand of casual intimacy.

Where is their favourite place to cuddle?

Bed is comfier and easier to navigate, but they’ll hole up on the couch, too. Basically anywhere at home where they can be alone and private.

How often do they get time to themselves?

Not as often as they’d like. They both have important work to do in Jackson and they don’t always get to be the nine-to-five kind of folks. They sometimes wish they could toss away their responsibilities and just spend a week together with no interruptions.

Sleeping:

Who snores?

Tommy. He does not believe this fact.

If both do, who snores the loudest?

Even if Maura did snore, she’s pretty sure Tommy could snore loud enough for the both of them. She’s worried he might attract clickers to town.

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?

Always share a bed. They’d rather sleep next to each other, even if it means both of them sleeping on the floor when there’s only a twin bed.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

They tend to cozy up. They like to be close and it would feel strange to them to lay far enough apart that they aren’t at least touching a little.

What do they wear to bed? If they’re together?

If they’ve been up to some terrible, horrible, no good, very bad spicy acts, they both sleep naked. Otherwise, Tommy usually sleeps in sweats and Maura in one of his too-big shirts and her underwear.

Are either of them insomniacs?

They both have the odd night where they can’t sleep, but they’re by no means regular insomniacs. Usually it’s just a one-off thing, or a couple nights in a row max.

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

Sleeping pills are hard to find in general — but you probably won’t ever find them on Maura and Tommy’s bedside table.

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

Maura likes to tangle her legs with Tommy’s and lay her head in the spot where his shoulder meets his torso. She’s not quite an octopus, but she likes to be curled around him, and he doesn’t mind.

Who wakes up with bed hair?

Both of them. Maura sleeps with her hair in a bun and always wakes up with it tangled and all over the place. Tommy just needs a haircut — he wakes up looking like every member of an 80s hair metal band rolled into one every single morning.

Who wakes up first?

Usually Maura. She likes to get to work early to get everything ready before people actually start showing up. Tommy’s up pretty early, too, but almost always wakes up to Maura halfway through her morning routine.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

Neither, because Maura hates crumbs in the sheets and she will not let either herself or Tommy eat in bed.

She doesn’t want tiny toast crumbs making her legs uncomfortable at night!

What’s their favourite sleeping position?

Maura’s a side sleeper — she prefers her right side but she’ll sleep on her left too! Tommy used to sleep only on his back, but once he and Maura started sharing a bed he got used to sleeping on his side, too, just so he could snuggle her better.

Do they set an alarm each night?

Never — their internal clocks are better alarms than any beat up bedside clock they could scrounge up.

Can a television be found in their bedroom?

A tiny one, but it’s not like there’s much on. Tommy managed to hook up an old DVD player and every time one of them is out they keep an eye open for movies to add to their little collection. It’s the perfect treatment for a collective bad day — losing their thoughts to some pre-outbreak piece of fluff while they lay together quietly.

Who has nightmares?

Tommy, more often than not. Maura has nightmares every now and then, but Tommy’s bad memories seem to plague him during the night more than hers do.

Who has ridiculous dreams?

Maura. She’s been a really vivid dreamer her whole life, and it’s only gotten more crazy with time. Everything tends to be a mishmash of her unconscious thoughts and elaborate colours.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

Plot twist: it’s actually Lucky. Good luck finding space on your bed with a seventy pound golden retriever taking up all your leg room.

Who makes the bed?

Maura, typically. She likes when it’s neat and tidy, and it’s another thing to add to the routine she’s established to keep herself sane.

What time is bed time?

It really varies. As much as they try to be home from work/patrol/their various duties at a reasonable hour every night, there are times where Maura may not get home until late evening or times when Tommy might find his way up the porch well after midnight. If they can, they try to give themselves a deadline of midnight for being in bed and ready to sleep.

Any routines/rituals before bed?

The usual stuff – brushing teeth, getting into sleep clothes, maybe washing their faces if they have the energy. Almost always they lay with each other for a little bit and talk about their days or whatever else is on their mind. It’s a little break at the end of the day for them to decompress with each other before they try to get some shut-eye.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

Tommy. Maura’s always been a morning person and wake ups have never been hard for her. Tommy, on the other hand — just because he’s out of bed doesn’t mean he’s happy about it. He often takes an hour or two to warm up to the waking world.

Work:

Who is the busiest?

It varies. Maura has a lot of cuts and bruises and broken bones to patch up, but Tommy is in charge of more than he realizes at times, I think. A group of scavengers returning home with nasty injuries might keep Maura busy enough that she’s dead tired by the time she walks through the front door, but Tommy’s hands might be full for eight hours straight if there’s even a minor problem with the dam. It all depends on the day.

Who rakes in the highest income?

Economy is a construct and the only income they receive is payment in the form of the satisfaction they did a ~good job~.

Are any of them unemployed?

Both are very employed and very happy to both keep busy and be useful.

Who takes the most sick days?

No rest for the wicked. Maura doesn’t really have sick days — she only ever stays home when she physically can’t get into the clinic, and even then she complains about it. Tommy has more latitude in that respect, but he’s come to dislike being idle, so sick days are reserved for actual physical or mental sickness.

Who is more likely to turn up late to work?

Neither of them, really. Before the outbreak, it probably would have been Tommy, but the world is a very different place and he’s sort of fallen into Maura’s early morning routine. If either of them are late, it’s usually the fault of one of two culprits: 1) a crisis has emerged from the woodwork that must be dealt with immediately, or 2) their early morning shenanigans have gone on longer than they planned...

Who sucks up to their boss?

Jackson really doesn’t have that level of organization in terms of the workforce, if that makes sense? Everyone just kind of…mutually agrees to do the duties they’ve either been assigned or have decided to do. No one is really ever anyone’s boss.

What are their jobs?

Maura is Jackson’s de facto doctor. Before the outbreak, she was a paramedic, and those skills aren’t easy to come by. She takes care of everything medical (with lots of help, of course), from patching up cuts and scrapes to pulling babies out of people.

Tommy…doesn’t really have a title? @tommymillers is my resident canon expert and her take is that Tommy is a community leader of sorts – he takes care of overseeing the town. He’s the customer care specialist. He’s the Kelly Kapoor of Jackson.

Who stresses the most?

Maura worries a lot, but she does well under pressure. @tommymillers and I were discussion Mr. Miller yesterday, and I agree with her idea that Tommy probably doesn’t handle pressure or stress very well – so I think where Maura may worry every now and then but be calm and collected when the pressure at work ramps up, Tommy is chill until disaster strikes.

That didn’t really answer the question, but I think they both stress for different reasons and at different levels.

Do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

Maura loves her job. She loved it before the outbreak, and while it’s slightly more stressful and lot more improvised afterwards, she still loves it. She just genuinely enjoys helping people and being useful and learning new things about the human body.

Tommy does like his job. It makes him feel like he’s doing something important and worthwhile with his life when historically he hasn’t always had that satisfaction. I think he probably has trouble actually settling down and making this his life, so to speak, but he does enjoy it. Even when it’s difficult.

Are they financially stable?

If money were a thing people still cared about, they’d be doing really well for themselves. Thankfully, it’s not, so they don’t really have to worry about making their next mortgage payment.

Home:

Who does the washing?

Maura washes, Tommy hangs everything to dry. They try to split the household chores as evenly as possible, just to be fair.

Who takes out the trash?

Tommy takes care of it, usually, if only because Maura has the garbage at the clinic to deal with.

Who does the ironing?

Who cares if your clothes have creases when there are real life zombies just outside the city limits?

Who does the cooking?

They are very good about sharing cooking, because they like to do it together. Maura never has more fun with a chore than she does when she’s cooking dinner with Tommy. They’re both decent cooks and they enjoy the time they get to spend together making something they get to eat together.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

Neither of them! They both know their way around a kitchen well enough to not kill anyone in the process of making dinner. Capable kids!

Who is messier?

Tommy’s not quite Maura’s level of clean freak. He often leaves things lying around and doesn’t really understand her need to make the bed every morning. He’s no slob, but sometimes his inner frat boy peeks through the curtains and tells him to leave his underwear in the kitchen.

Who leaves the toilet roll empty?

Is there toilet paper in the apocalypse? I’m sure there’d be an alternative. No Outbreak AU is not kind to Maura, in any event, because Tommy is the worst about refilling the roll. She almost always does it herself.

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

Mr. Underwear-In-The-Kitchen Miller. If it’s not boxers in the kitchen, it’s socks in the living room or shirts in the hallway. He just…disrobes and forgets. It’s kind of remarkable.

Who forgets to flush the toilet?

Sorry, Tommy. I’m ratting you out.

Who is the prankster around the house?

Tommy is, and he often pays dearly for it because a grumpy Maura is not a Maura to be trifled with. Just ask Max. It doesn’t happen often, but scaring her when she’s getting out of the shower is a good way to getting a one-way ticket to Sleeping On The Couch-Ville.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

Can’t lose what you don’t have!

In No Outbreak AU, it’s probably Maura’s fault. She’s neat and tidy, but she’s also a busy lady and sometimes things disappear on her!

Who mows the lawn?

Tommy’s your resident lawn mower. He doesn’t mind the exercise, and Maura doesn’t mind watching him work up a sweat.

Who answers the telephone?

Thankfully, there’s no phones to answer these days.

In No Outbreak AU, it’s Maura. Tommy gets into the habit of having full conversations with telemarketers. Maura’s afraid they’re going to call back looking to chat.

Who does the vacuuming?

Tommy is a very good vacuumer! He gets into it, dances a little, sings to himself. It’s a very good workout for him.

Who does the groceries?

No Outbreak AU Maura has to because Tommy will absolutely come home with cinnamon rolls and donuts and forego any kind of food with nutritional value. Thankfully, that’s not something she has to be worried about in canon.

Who takes the longest to shower?

Maura’s a shower hog in No Outbreak AU and she will absolutely suck the hot water dry just for the relaxation of it. There are shower time limits in canon, though, so she doesn’t have as much time as she normally would like.

Tommy lets her have an extra long shower the first time she comes to Jackson. I think he saw the inner shower demon in her the moment they locked eyes.

Who spends the most time in the bathroom?

As the above would suggest, AU Maura is awful for her bathroom hogging. In canon, it’s probably also Maura. She spends more time washing her face and brushing her hair in the mornings than Tommy does (although he does care very much about brushing out his ponytail).

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem?

Not when it doesn’t exist!

How many cars do they own?

Do horses count as cars? Because they’ve got a few.

Do they own their home or do they rent?

Their home ownership is acknowledged by the highest law recognized in post-apocalyptic America: Finders Keepers.

Do they live in the city or in the country?

Jackson’s like…a town, right? It’s not New York, but the population is more than two. I’d say it’s closer to country than city.

Do they enjoy their surroundings?

Maura actually loves it. She grew up in Kansas and as much as she loved it there, she loves seeing what the rest of the country has to offer. It’s part of why she chose to do her schooling in Texas. Home is now a place that doesn’t resemble the place she grew up in, but it’s still pretty. Tommy doesn’t mind it either, but he wishes it was just a touch warmer. Especially in the winter.

What’s their song?

Song they’d dance to or sing to each other like the dorks they are? Breathless by William Prince. Song I listen to when I think about their hopeless asses? Blood Bank by Bon Iver.

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Try to keep busy. Maura is the first to slip into longing and misery when Tommy’s away for an extended period of time. Tommy lasts a little longer, but he eventually misses her hard. They both find the best thing to do is to keep themselves busy, whether it’s work or hobbies or even just cleaning up around the house. Tommy often takes it a step further though: when he’s missing Maura, he tends to bolt and go for unnecessarily lengthy walks. Dangerous coping mechanism.

Where did they first meet?

A couple hours outside of Jackson in a place that Tommy and his crew thought was abandoned. She’d just escaped from the group of hunters that was keeping her captive and she was holed up in the house that Tommy and a couple others had just wandered into looking for supplies. It was a ‘guns drawn instantly’ type of situation for a second, before Tommy realized she was far too skinny and far to scared to be any kind of threat.

It took her a minute to explain what had happened and where she’d come from, but once she did? Once they found out she had medical training and was hungry and starving and entirely alone? It was pretty much a group consensus that she would be coming back to Jackson with them.

Who spends the most money when out shopping?

Not really applicable these days, but in No Outbreak AU, they’re probably pretty evenly matched. Maura is pretty frugal because she grew up without a lot, and Tommy hasn’t exactly been made of money as an adult. They both splurge from time to time, but they’re good about saving.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

Maura’s more likely to snort, but she’s also the one that’s crouched down next to Tommy to see if he needs stitches for the nasty cut he’s probably managed to give himself.

Any mental issues?

Listen – they both have varying degrees of PTSD. I think most survivors have some level of it. Maura never struggled with anything other than maybe mild perfectionism pre-outbreak, and Tommy never had any mental health concerns before everything happened, but trauma has a way of burrowing into the deep and dark parts of your brain and smothering whatever good is left there. I think Maura and Tommy both suffer from their own personal brands of guilt, too – guilt about what happened to the people they loved and not being able to save them. They both struggle with keeping it at bay, but they have each other, and they each understand exactly how brutal it can be.

Who’s terrified of bugs?

Neither of them is really terrified of all bugs. Maura doesn’t like spiders, but she doesn’t have anything against butterflies or caterpillars or even centipedes and bees. Tommy doesn’t want bugs crawling all over him, but he’d rather take them outside and set them free than kill them. It’s safe to say they have a peaceful existence with bugs that aren’t spiders – but those eight legged bastards (Maura’s words, not mine) better be ready for war.

Who kills the spiders around the house?

Maura is terrified of spiders (and snakes), so Tommy is the resident spider killer.

“Sorry, little buddy,” Tommy says to the spider whenever his services are required. “Nothin’ personal, but my wife’s ordered a hit on you, and I can’t have her orderin’ a hit on me, now, can I?”

Their favourite place?

There’s this secluded corner in Jackson with a little clearing that’s perfect for campfires. Tommy took Maura there on their first real “date”. Snuck a half empty bottle of wine out there with some blankets and pillows and curled up next to her in front of a little campfire. They talked for hours about everything – stuff from before the outbreak, stuff from after, even day-to-day stuff.

Who pays the bills?

Ain’t no bills to pay, baby! The only kind of debt in this world is the kind you incur when someone does you a big favor!

Do they have any fears for their future?

Of course. Everyone did before the world collapsed, and they especially do afterwards. Maura and Tommy both carry the fear that one of them will get infected somehow, that one of them will die and the other will be left all alone. They’ve both lost people, and the thought of having to go through that kind of pain again is terrifying for them both to say the least.

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

Maura may be the hopeless romantic, but Tommy’s the type to try to surprise her with something sweet. He’s a good man with a good heart and while he may not say it every single waking hour, he loves Maura more than he knows what to do with. She works so hard and endures so much and he’s the kind of guy who’d want to surprise her with candles and fancy food and a little romancing.

Who’s the tallest?

Tommy. Maura’s little compared to him. She’s the perfect size for resting her head comfortably on his shoulder – his little puzzle piece!

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

Tommy, because he thinks he’s smooth and charming. Mostly he just gets water all over the bathroom floor, but Maura would be remiss if she said she didn’t like the way their skin slips together when he wraps his arms tight around her from behind.

Who wanders around in their underwear?

Maura! My number one culprit!

They’re both guilty of it, especially in No Outbreak AU, but Maura sleeps in her underwear in canon and Tommy in sweats, so she just barely beats him for the title. In No Outbreak AU, pants are honestly a rarity when they aren’t expecting company — and sometimes even if they are.

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

Tommy’s the local virtuoso, and he has an enthusiasm about him that is contagious — he’s the big mouth that starts the singalong, but most people can’t help but join in on the fun once he gets going.

What do they tease each other about?

Maura pokes fun at Tommy’s little ponytail constantly. It’s harmless – she thinks it’s cute, really – but she never misses a chance to tease him. He likes to joke about her being a beaver because every single one of her pen caps is full bite marks. She also can’t say ‘espresso’ properly. Never hears the end of that one.

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

They don’t have a lot of clothing to choose from, but...

Listen, Maura is very nice and very polite but sometimes even she cannot help but make a face at Tommy Miller and his Double Denim sense of style.

Do they have mutual friends?

They do! They both know pretty much everyone in town on at least a vaguely friendly level, so really almost all their friends are mutual friends.

Who crushed first?

Maura. I’ve mentioned it before, but Maura is an awful hopeless romantic, and she regularly says that she knew she would end up with Tommy pretty much from the moment she met him.

And honestly? Tommy wasn’t that far behind.

Any alcohol or substance related problems?

None.

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3 am?

They both worry, so it’s very unlikely either of them would stay out that late drinking and then stumble home wasted, and honestly? If one of them is out having a good time, the other is usually right there with them.

In No Outbreak AU, probably Tommy — though I don’t get the impression he’d do it incredibly often.

Who swears the most?

Their swearing is typically situational, and really, the both of them swear just about as often as the average person. Maura tries her best to keep it PG while she’s working, but outside of that? She’s human — they both are — and they act like humans always have.

#tommy miller #maura foster #my ocs #my writing #this was so fucking long #holy shit #macy thank you for pushing me not to give up i love you #nsftumblr

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you-andthebottlemen · 5 years

Text

50 - An Original. Van helping you out with your photography career.

Wait, what’s that? Evangeline? Posting AGAIN? Insane.

Happy ‘Conversation’ release day! What did you all think of it?

Here is a small original fic I wrote over the last few days. I love it, might be one of my favourites ever. Hope you enjoy it too! Thank you to my girl @storiesaboutvan for editing this for meeee.

And reminder that REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!

E x

********************************************

“Rejected! Again!” you exclaimed in frustration and slammed your laptop closed.

“What? Really?” Miranda, your best friend, replied.

You’d emailed more than a dozen band and artist managers that month, for any artist playing a show in your town in the coming weeks, trying to get media approval. Photography was your thing, you loved it more than anything and you were damn good at it too. Your dream was to be a music photographer though, and to do that, you needed to be in front of the music to capture it. Sneaking a small camera into the crowd wasn’t cutting it anymore.

“You’re amazing though y/n! I don’t understand why you don’t get approved?”

Miranda sat on your floor sifting through her Instagram that was filled with photos you’d taken of her. That’s about all you were good for at the moment; taking people’s profile pictures.

“Yeah, but it’s all about who you know, not what you know,” you whined. “Doesn’t matter how good you are.”

You stood from your desk and flopped down on your bed with a groan of defeat.

“That’s bullshit though,” Miranda replied.

“I know.”

You stared at the camera, sets of lenses and other equipment that lined the shelves above your desk. Your eyes narrowed.

“Maybe I just have to really put myself out there,” you said quietly.

Your mind was racing a million miles a minute.

“What do you mean?”

“If venues and managers aren’t going to approve me to shoot, I’ll never get any experience. How do you get accepted with no portfolio? I’ll have to just get out there and find a way to do it all myself. If no one’s going to give it to me, I’ll go and take it.”

“Sounds devious, tell me more,” Miranda grinned mischievously.

*************************

As you packed the last of your gear into your camera bag, the nerves started to hit. Catfish and the Bottlemen were playing in your town that night and you vaguely knew of them, but more importantly, it was a gig. A gig that you were going to sneak into and photograph. Your plan was to dress professionally, act confident and pretend you were assigned to photograph the concert, but someone had made an admin mistake, so your name wasn’t on the list. A far-fetched idea but one you hoped might just pull through for you. Bit of a long shot. You’d had enough rejection to last a lifetime so this was worth it if it paid off.

You’d dressed in all black in attempt to look serious and inconspicuous. Hopefully they didn’t think you were just a kid or something. But you knew that heaps of music photographers were only in their 20s so surely that wouldn’t be the main issue?

Miranda dropped you off at the venue after giving you the pep talk of your life on the way there. The worst that would happen is you’d be turned away. Nothing to be nervous about. Right? You wiped your sweaty palms on your jeans, exited the car and headed towards the door. Your legs wobbled with nerves as you walked but hopefully no one else could tell.

As you approached you could see a few fans already huddled religiously around the entrance, all eager for that front row view. A large and round security guard stood at the door, holding a clipboard and a very stern facial expression. Why were security guards always so scary? You took a deep breath and took confident strides up to him.

“Media,” you said simply with a small, polite smile when he looked at you.

His gaze turned suspicious.

“Name?”

You gave him your name and he scanned his clipboard for the piece of paper that confirmed you were meant to be there. Your heart was pounding so hard you were scared it would burst right out of your chest.

“Nope. Don’t see no ‘y/n’ here,” he said and then rudely looked away as if you’d disappeared already.

“Oh, that’s strange… I am definitely meant to be photographing the band. Got it all confirmed the other week…”

He looked you up and down, pursed his lips and returned to the clipboard. You weren’t really sure what move to make next…there was only so much convincing you could do.

“No.”

“Please… I really have to get in there! They’re expecting me!” you insisted.

You felt horrible for lying; you were definitely going to hell.

“Not on the list, no entrance,” he grunted.

Your hopes fell.

“There’s no one you can go talk to…? Must be an admin error.”

“Miss, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

You stood on the spot. When you didn’t budge, the security guard grabbed your arm roughly and tried to escort you away. You fought against him.

“Oi, mate, what’s goin’ on here?”

The security dropped your arm immediately. You turned around to see a tall and lanky guy holding a takeaway coffee cup and a pack of cigarettes, dressed in all black and wearing sunglasses. He was quite… pointy looking? His nose, cheekbones and jaw were all sharp. His hair was a messy, dark sandy brown and fell nicely in soft waves. Though it could probably do with a wash, you thought. When you saw the few fans sat by the door engulf themselves into whispers and stares, you immediately recognised him as the singer of the band that you’d seen on the posters around town. A few of the girls stood and inched closer, waiting for him to be done talking, phones and tickets in hand.

“Say’s she’s meant to be taking photos or summat. Not on the list though, and media isn’t expected til 6,” the security guard grunted again.

The guy’s eyes shifted between you and the security guard. You threw him a pleading look.

“Oh yeah…” he said softly in a high tone, as if he were remembering a forgotten thought. “Yeah I was told you’d be here. Early.”

Your eyes widened in shock. He was covering for you? The security guard looked just as shocked.

“Uh, yes,” you agreed with him.

“Sorry, erm… y/n. I’ll go see about that paperwork,” he said.

“Oh no need, it’s fine now,” you replied, not wanting him to sniff out your lie.

“In you go then you two.”

You went inside, unsure of which way to go, what to do or of what even just happened. You were in absolute shell shock. It worked? And only because that singer went along with your lie. Why though? Whatever the reason, you were beyond grateful. If it weren’t for him, you’d be going home defeated yet again. You clung tightly to the strap of your camera bag on your shoulder and waited for the lanky singer, who was outside taking pictures and signing autographs.

“This way,” he smiled as he came through the doorway. “I’m Van.”

He gestured for you to follow him. Van walked with a slight spring in his step, a slight ‘groove’ as your mother would say. He looked effortlessly cool.

“Y/n,” you replied nervously from behind, still in shock that he got you in. “Thank you so much… Why did you-”

“Shhh, don’t want grumpy pants outside to hear you weaselled ya way in.”

You followed Van up the hallway in astounded silence and unsure of where he was taking you. Soon enough you came to the other side of the building and out the door into a courtyard. You glanced around quickly to take in the space. It was all bricked, overgrown ivy and weeds climbed from the ground up the sides of the tall fences that enclosed the square area and a battered white table and chairs sat sadly in the middle.

“What are we out here for?” you asked stupidly.

Van removed his sunglasses; his eyes stood out to you immediately, even from afar. Blue with the longest lashes you’d ever seen, piercing but in a way that made you feel seen, not scared.

“Well, you did say you were here to photograph us yeah?” Van winked.

You gave an embarrassed smile and pulled your eyes away from his.

“Thanks again, Van. You didn’t have to cover for me, but yeah. Thanks.”

“It’s no problem love,” he chuckled. “What happened anyway? I figured from the look on ya face that you weren’t actually meant to be on the list.”

Van sat down at the table and chairs, placed down his coffee cup and pulled a cigarette from the box he was still holding. He slid his sunglasses over the collar of his black button up so he had two free hands. The unbuttoned neckline of his shirt dipped down, and you could see a gold chain hanging delicately from his neck. He lit the cigarette smoothly, placing it in his mouth and cupping a hand around it to shield the flame. When it lit, he let out a large breath and billow of smoke. As he did so, he made direct eye contact with you. A simple act, but one that was extremely attractive. You felt your heart rate increase slightly and a blush rise to your cheeks. You looked away.

“Yeah. Uh, so. I’m a photographer, well trying to be one. Graduated uni a few years back and still haven’t really gotten anywhere. I never get approved to shoot shows though since you need to give a portfolio of experience… How are you meant to have a portfolio and get experience if they never let you in? Dumb. Sorry I’m rambling…”

Van chuckled, shook his head slightly and motioned for you to continue.

“I kind of got fed up with it so thought I’d try sneaking in. If they weren’t gonna give it to me, I’d take it,” you shrugged, repeating what you’d already explained to Miranda.

“I like that,” Van smiled, then blew out another puff of smoke. “I used to sneak into gigs and stuff all the time. Me and my best mate Larry would go to festivals and like, pass the wristband through the gate round the back, so we’d only have to buy one between us.”

You liked the way Van’s accent made him pronounce ‘us’ like ‘uz’.

“That’s brilliant,” you replied, impressed and wishing you’d thought of that in the past.

“So don’t worry: no judgement from me. I admire it honestly.”

You smiled at Van and walked over to the table to place your camera bag down. Time to stop being awkward as all fuck.

“Shall we then?” you asked.

“Let’s do it.”

Van blew out another large puff of smoke then put the cigarette out in the ashtray that sat on the stained plastic table top. You fitted your camera together, choosing the 50mm lens which was your favourite for portraits. As you did so, it all sunk in. You were about to take shots of a famous musician. This could change your career. What’s more is that this extremely famous musician seemed to enjoy talking to you and was also extremely attractive… You gulped and began to take some test shots of the courtyard to get the right settings for the light.

“You tell me what to do, love; how do you want me to pose?”

“You’re really serious about this? Thought I was just going to get a chance at photographing your gig, not portraits of the singer! You don’t mind?” you asked, checking to make sure he was definitely okay with it.

“Will it help with your… portfolio? Or like getting published and that?”

“Immensely,” you nodded.

Published. Wow. You hadn’t even thought of that.

“Then yeah, I’m okay.”

Your heart flooded with warmth and gratitude towards Van. You weren’t even sure how to show it.

“You don’t really need to pose…just sort of be natural. Keep talking to me if you want.”

You found that most subjects felt most comfortable being photographed when you engaged with them in conversation, kept it calm and casual. And besides, you always preferred candid photos to heavily posed ones anyway. You took a few warm up shots of him and checked your settings. You felt a little awkward sticking the camera in his face, but he seemed relaxed. Probably used to it by now.

“Dead nice camera you got there,” Van commented, breaking the silence.

“Thanks,” you smiled, chuffed.

It was a pretty nice camera. Recently purchased with all your savings. It had been the camera of your dreams for years and now that you owned it, you didn’t use it nearly as much as you should. You were happy it was going to get a proper work out today.

“I don’t know nothin’ about photography though, but our drummer, Bob, is well into it. More film stuff though? Like proper old style.”

“That’s awesome,” you replied. “I’ve not really tried film but I’d like to one day.”

“Maybe I can get Sideshow to give you some pointers. He’s not a huge talker though but he’s dead good at taking photos.”

“Sideshow?”

“Oh, yeah, Bob’s nickname, been stuck for ages.”

You laughed slightly at the odd nickname. You asked Van about how it came to be and he launched animatedly in the story. As he spoke, you moved around him slowly to get different angles and lighting. He sat calmly in his chair, sometimes looking directly into the camera and sometimes at you or away into the distance. You could tell already that these photos were going to look amazing in black and white. Van had a brooding look to him, but his eyes were warm and brought you in.

Van was sort of beautiful? He was handsome in a way that you don’t necessarily notice immediately but did the more he talked, in his mannerisms and the way he moved. He was unconventional and you liked that.

“Do you mind if I…?”

Van motioned at his cigarettes and you shook your head. He did the same thing as before when he lit the cigarette but stared right down your camera lens when he blew out that first breath, squinting his eyes slightly. God damn. You clicked away, feeling annoying like paparazzi but also glad that you’d caught all of this on camera. You couldn’t wait to go through the photos later that night.

“So y/n…” Van started, then took a drag of his cigarette. “Why photography?”

Interesting question.

“I guess I just always knew that it was the thing for me. It’s what I’ve always been most passionate about. What about you, with music?”

“Same really. I guess I just always knew.”

You looked up from behind the camera and smiled at Van. You liked that he was showing interest in you when he definitely didn’t have to. He was down to earth, kind and normal. The fame hadn’t gone to his head.

“What do you like about it?” he asked.

Your answer was immediate.

“I guess for me, it’s all about capturing a moment. I love being able to take a shot and make people feel something or like, be transported back to that minute in time. So, I want to be a music photographer… I reckon those moments, when you’re at a gig seeing your favourite artist with your mates, they’re the best ones to go back to and feel again.”

Van sat in his chair and nodded in agreement.

“We have a lot in common you and me,” he chuckled thoughtfully.

A happy, confused sort of smile bloomed across your face and one of your eyebrows raised in slight bewilderment.

“Hey, come here, give me that.”

Van stood and bounded over to you with arms outstretched.

“I’m gonna take photos of you now. Show me how to use this!”

Usually people touching your camera made you want to scream. But Van was endearing.

“No!” you squealed and ducked away as he shoved the camera in your face.

You were both laughing and he was clicking away, you tried to escape him but that only led him to use one long arm to grab you around the waist and hold you still in front of him so he could take a front on photo of your face. Though as he said, he knew nothing of photography so of course the 50mm lens would make that angle far too zoomed in.

“Oh, I thought that was gonna be a good one but it’s like just your nose,” he laughed, sounding confused.

You were flushed and heart pounding. Van’s arm still lingered loosely around your waist as he flicked through the photos you’d both taken.

“Yeah, see the lens, it kind of zooms everything in a little so you don’t have to stand as close to someone to get their whole face in the shot,” you explained, trying to use simple concepts.

You took the camera from Van and his arm dropped. He stood close, looking down at you. You pretended to be engrossed in your camera.

“I like this one.”

You pulled up the photo of him blowing out smoke and looking straight into the camera and turned it around so he could see. You could see the smoke blur gently in the air around him, giving it a hazy, grungy feel.

“I like that too. Wow, you’re good y/n.”

You beamed at him and felt proud of yourself. Maybe this was all going to work out for you after all?

#Catfish and the Bottlemen #catfish #van mccann #catb #fan fiction #fanfic #fanfiction #van mccann fanfiction

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dreadhaus-literature · 5 years

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{Valentine’s Collection} #14

Note: Happy Valentine’s Day! We’ve reached the end of another collection, and I hope it’s been enjoyed! ♥ It was definitely nice to write, to do something to commemorate a holiday that really suits me as a romance author, haha.

This last piece is something special, and a little different from the rest of the collection--it’s a true one-shot, with an involved, AU plot that I’m pretty proud of. It may evolve into a chaptered story at a later date, depending on Monica’s reception of it; it definitely has the potential to be.

As always, thank you for starring in another collection for me, love! 💕 Enjoy. 💋

“If you’re tempted to say no, then think of the tax benefits.”

“Oh, he did not say that,” Dot Dreadful tossed her head back, cackling loudly. “Girl please tell me he did not try to hit you with the tax benefits line!”

Felina Frenzy, known more intimately as Monica, joined in the laughter even as she rushed to affirm, “He did! He fucking did, like what kind of idiot even tries that?!”

“Only a straight white male.” Dot was quick to quip, hazel eyes locking with emerald as she gave Monica a look over her glass. “How many times have I told you to take a dip with some melanin?”

“It’s not my fault the guy was white,” Monica raised her hand, shifting on her high-backed bar stool. She hooked her stiletto around the bottom rung of the chair, crossing one tantalizing leg over the other without a second thought to the gazes that turned just to watch her move.

“How many times?” Dot pressed, tapping one long nail on the reflective bar’s surface.

“A ton, but you’ve also told me to switch to women indefinitely.”

Dot sat her glass on the bar with both eyebrows near her hairline. “Has it steered me wrong?”

“Are you or are you not alone just like I am on Valentine’s Day?” Monica countered. Logic would have pinned Dot to the ground but emotion’s like nailing jello to a fence post--can’t be done, and Dot cupped Monica’s chin, pulling her in for a loud, affectionate smack right on the lips.

“Oh, but I’m not alone, my love, I have the light of my entire life with me.”

Monica fought off the urge to blush at such a public display of affection, whether or not she returned it. “Sweet-talking me doesn’t change the fact that we’re celebrating Valentine’s Day single.”

“That’s why it’s a Gal-entine’s Day,” Dot released Monica’s chin, taking another sip of her Bloody Mary. “Who needs men, or women for that matter? Who needs anyone.”

“Now whose being the sad panda?” Monica teased, turning back to her sea-sapphire blue cocktail. It was some confection made in honor of the holiday and Monica couldn’t remember what the hell it was called, but it was strong and it tasted good, so she was content with the buzz warming her middle.

“On the contrary, my beautiful gal pal, I am embracing my singlehood with a pack of AA’s and a brand new purple best bed buddy.” Dot rocked side to side on her bar stool. “And I bought you a matching blue one.”

“The fact that our friendship has evolved to us sharing vibrators--”

“Ooo, that was not at all my intention but we should totally share!”

“Having a gay best friend is not at all like how they make it look on TV.”

“Oh yeah, if you’re of the same sex we’ll totally hit on you until we wear you down with our wicked gay ways,” Dot wiggled her fingers, pursing her lips in an ‘o’. “That’s actually #7 on our gay agenda.”

“What’s #6?”

“Find an attractive best friend of the same sex, naturally.”

Monica laughed, clinking her glass with Dot’s. “Naturally.”

Around the two best friends, Zealot was abuzz with activity of the rich, affluent, and famous of New Senzannini out to celebrate the most romantic day of the year. The expensive, high-class lounge was currently the hottest spot in the entire city, which was a feat considering the millions of people who called this capital of the world home. Monica and Dot had been living in New Senzannini for a couple years, now, each making their way in similar career paths, side by side. Dot turned to written word, and Monica double-dipped, releasing a series of wildly popular Young Adult novels that transcended simple novels into graphic novels, illustrated by her own hand. Getting your hooks into the upper crust of New Senzannini wasn’t easy to do, but the girls had done it. The problem was, it seemed dating here was the same as it was anywhere else in the world--which explained why Monica and Dot were single and spending Valentine’s Day as a Gal-entine’s Day instead, drinking together and telling horror stories of suitors past. It was easy for Monica to laugh at her most recent ex, who honestly thought proposing to her on the second date (after a very unsuccessful first date, on top of that) with a line about tax benefits was the right way to win her heart. Monica may be a logical girl with a good head on her shoulders but she had a heart that was still soft--even if she hid that from everyone. She’d thought she wanted a man who could meet her logic, but all that seemed to produce were walking, talking business degrees who thought it was romantic to treat marriage like a contract to extract extra tax benefits from the government. Monica may not watch romantic comedies but she did read shoujo manga--she deserved a little romance, at the very least!

“Excuse me?”

Monica turned, locking eyes with a green-eyed stranger dressed to the nines in a well-tailored, three piece suit. He flashed her an attractive smile, his teeth perfectly straight and white, and his $500 haircut was a compliment to the room lights...but Monica just wanted to yawn.

“Yes?” Monica put on a small, tight-lipped smile but the potential suitor didn’t seem to notice.

“I was wondering if I could buy you a drink.” The business executive extended his hand to the beautiful woman he was hoping to win over. “My name’s Reagan.”

Monica shook his hand, but she also shook her head. “I appreciate it, Reagan, but I already have a drink--”

It may not have been apparent to anyone else that Monica cut her sentence short, but she had. All at once, she became acutely aware that she was being watched. Her spine slowly stiffened the more her awareness rose, and she felt goosebumps raise on her flesh without really knowing or understanding why. Reagan was saying something to her but she wasn’t hearing a word he was saying; the lounge itself seemed to drop away, other sounds muting out, from the jazz singer in the far corner to the murmur of a hundred different conversations. As the world quietened as if someone had turned the volume down like a dial in her head, Monica became aware of an exhale, a rush of smoky air over her shoulder and it sounded so close she was surprised she didn’t feel the smoke caress over her skin. She turned, slowly, and was even more surprised that the exhale she’d heard was across the lounge, a ways from her seat at the bar. It came from the VIP section, and she watched the smoke curl like beckoning fingers as it drifted from lips she couldn’t see. Whoever was smoking that wicked, exotic looking pipe was leaned back against the lush couch and even as she squinted, she couldn’t make out anything but a tall, well-built frame. She could see his legs, the long limbs crossed elegantly, one over the other, and the silk she could see looked expensive, even by Zealot standards. The hanging lamp that was illuminating his legs was doing an excellent job hitting the glass table beneath it, and Monica could see a large, long-fingered hand move that smoking pipe from his mouth to rest over the back of the couch; the way he moved reminded her of smoke itself. He was elegant, whoever this was, and before Monica could look away, he opened his eyes and nailed her to her stool.

They were a shimmering, luminescent sapphire blue. They glowed, glittered like precious stones worth more than the entire outfit she’d painstakingly put together for this evening--

❝Don’t sell yourself short, beautiful girl. I think you look ravishing.❞

The voice that shimmered in her head reminded her of sunlight filtering through the ocean; it glimmered, caressed like fingers so she shuddered from the echo in her mind. That voice belonged to someone who wasn’t human, someone who carried himself above everyone else, and Monica had a feeling she recognized it simply by the way her entire body tightened at the intimate way he spoke to her. He all but purred at her, and by contrast, Reagan speaking to her sounded like a donkey braying.

❝Amusing, pretty little girl. Tell him to get lost.❞

That purr took on a decided sharp edge with the second part of his sentence and it did not come out like a request. It came out a command. And Monica wasn’t one for just...doing what she was told. People didn’t boss her around, they didn’t tell her what to do; she was independent and she had a mind of her own...except right now, her mind didn’t feel like her own. There was another presence within it, making himself quite at home amongst her thoughts so that she could feel his masculine smirk at her immediate want to defy him.

❝Your defiance is...adorable. I’m not unreasonable. Allow me to give you some incentive to do as I say.❞

Monica wasn’t prepared for him to lean into the light, but the second he did, she knew right away she’d been right--

Zaos Lakhani was the one staring at her, speaking to her telepathically, in a way no human could ever hope to do.

The Zaos Lakhani, the most famous Sorcerer in New Senzannini.

New Senzannini was known as the capital of the world for many reasons, but one of it’s shining examples of affluence was it being a gathering hub for all beings found in the known world. Humans, mutants, meta-humans, superheroes, supernatural creatures--it was a veritable melting pot here and as a result, was it any wonder certain races of creatures found themselves at the top of the food chain? The Elites, they were called, and while the government made no real acknowledgement of them...everyone knew they existed and they knew who they were. Zaos Lakhani was an Elf, and that put him in the shining light of the Elite as Elves were considered an Elite race. Monica may be biased but she felt Elves deserved to be there; she had something of a fixation on them. Dot called it a fetish, but Monica wasn’t going to do that even if it was 100% true--if only because it made her blush anytime an Elf so much as walked past her. Now one of the world’s most famous Elves was openly staring at her?!

❝Now that we have an...understanding, do as I say. Get rid of your little admirer. I detest competition.❞

Monica’s throat ran dry; the way Zaos spoke the word understanding made her think he was aware of her thoughts about his race and the blush that swept up her neck was the color of roses. She was finally able to look away from him, but not before she caught sight of his smirk revealing one elongated fang splitting his perfect, pouty mouth. Zaos was gorgeous and she was in way, way over her head.

“E-Excuse me, R-Reagan, but I really need you to walk away, now.” Monica was barely aware of what she was saying; she couldn’t focus, what with Zaos’s eyes still so clearly on her.

“I’m sorry?” Reagan was surprised by Monica sudden change in demeanor, but he’d been so busy talking about himself he hadn’t noticed she’d missed every word he said. “Was it something I said?”

“Who the hell could tell,” Dot muttered. “You haven’t shut the hell up since you came over here. She’s not into you. Hit the bricks, Wall Street.”

Monica knew the only reason Dot spoke up was in her defense; she probably took Monica’s stammering to mean she was uncomfortable with Reagan and Dot had a tendency to get overprotective real quick. Case in point, both women were staring at Reagan in silent challenge until he rubbed a hand along the back of his neck and excused himself. Dot rolled her eyes and signaled for another drink.

“And men say we talk to much,” Dot leaned back in her seat, doing a double take when Monica didn’t move to comment. “You okay, love? Did he actually say something that upset you?”

“N-No, no,” Monica shook her head rapidly. She cleared her throat and then leaned in, watching Dot mirror her movement. “...Z-Zaos Lakhani is here.”

Dot’s face showed she recognized the name, but then one would have to be living under a rock to not. Without having to be told, Dot’s gaze shifted to the VIP section and she pursed her lips; she didn’t share Monica’s fetish for Elves and she found Zaos to be a little conceited. That, and his Family was from the same island she was from, and she knew all about the Lakhani reputation. It was not a good one; there were nine men in the Lakhani line and not a single one of them was good news. From the tyrannical Patriarch with more blood on his hands than Vlad the Impaler, to the homicidal youngest set of twins who were rumored to be serial killers, getting mixed up with that family was asking for trouble. Zaos was one of the nine heads of the Tribe and he’d made his name in magic, dark sorcery that meant people often spoke his name in whispers, and he’d risen to the top of the magic game on a pile of cash from shady deals in other’s misfortune...and death.

You just didn’t mess with a Lakhani, and there’s nine big bad reasons why.

“I see him.” Dot turned to take her fresh drink from the bartender. “What’s that got to do with kicking Wall Street to the curb?”

Monica chewed on her lower lip, doing her best to ignore that Zaos was still staring at her. He’d called her a, “Good girl,” for getting rid of Reagan and Monica was grappling with why that made her feel so good. The longer she didn’t answer Dot, sneaking glances at Zaos, the more suspicious Dot became.

“Baby...I know you’ve got your thing for Elves, but maybe you should...find a different one.” Dot cautioned.

❝As if that would stop me.❞

Monica clenched her thighs together at that masculine purr; Zaos speaking to her so intimately was as though he was speaking against the shell of her ear, with her seated upon his lap, and it took Monica a moment to realize he was projecting that into her mind. Without having to look back at him, she could see his handsome smirk, the ambient room lighting flirting with his cheekbones until she would have sworn he couldn’t be real. With the mental picture he was building she could see him clearly; he was dressed like royalty from a far off land, silk draped over a physique carved from porcelain marble. He had no a single scar on his entire body, and his outfit left only some to the imagination; his chest was bare, the silk draping down his chiseled abdomen in a V-shape that revealed deep grooves in his hips, his pants slung invitingly low. The silk over his arms ended at his wrist, drawing attention to long, painted claws still cradling a pipe that smelled of a rain forest. Monica could smell it, smell him; he smelled good enough to make her mouth water, or maybe that was the way he looked? He looked an entire temptation, his long, pale blond hair framing his head like a halo...but it was a halo that would have to be propped up by horns. There was nothing innocent about Zaos Lakhani and as she continued to helplessly notice every single thing about him, she was unaware he was doing the exact same thing to her.

Zaos had been staring at her since the moment she arrived; he had simply hidden that from her. He’d been content to watch her, study her like a predator from the shadows as she drank and shared laughs with her friend. Zaos had not gotten to his lofty position as a godlike Sorcerer by rushing his hand, but then he should have known others would take notice of this Felina Frenzy...Monica as she was known to close friends and family. Zaos immediately counted himself amongst them; he was entitled and he was demanding, and he saw something he wanted. Needed, until the rest of Zealot dropped away and it wasn’t like anyone or anything could hold his attention for long to begin with. Zaos was a Prince, had been born with a silver spoon in his mouth and now that he was an adult, a formidable Sorcerer with access to realms others couldn’t even dream of, he could get anything he wanted. He’d seen it all, or so he’d thought, until Monica sauntered into the lounge looking like all the world’s treasure encased in red silk and stiletto heels. Zaos had actually commanded the entire VIP section to silence when she’d entered, waving his hand with an absent spell to silence his entourage because he wanted not a single distraction. The way she moved stirred heat in his belly, made his mouth water as she lifted herself onto her bar stool and her thighs parted just so she could cross her legs--as an Elf, his senses were nothing to scoff at and the scent of her was easy to pinpoint amongst the riff raff around them. Like a piece of forbidden fruit dangling out of his reach, he longed to sink his sharp teeth into her flesh.

Would she cry? Scream? Gods, he hoped so.

It had been unexpected, due to his own distraction, that someone else moved on her before he had but that was remedied easily enough. Zaos was not one to lose, ever, and if Monica hadn’t succeeded in getting that cretin to walk away, Zaos would have easily manipulated his mind and caused him to enter the bathroom, open one of the windows, and leap out to his death several stories below. Zaos had no regard for other life and he was certainly not going to apologize for being so...possessive over what he was pursuing. Who wouldn’t be possessive of such a delicious little treasure? Zaos’s clawed fingers actually twitched with the want to feel her soft skin, to trail his hand up her bare legs to delve between her thighs--he imagined her panties were silk like her dress, but she had to be in a tempting little thong. He couldn’t spot any pantylines on that round little bottom and he’d been staring at it, hard, for what seemed like hours. Her waist tucked in, and he knew just by looking at her that it would compliment his large hands; her waist tempted his eyes further up to her full breasts and his mouth watered, again, so eager was he to delve his tongue between them. To taste, sample, savor, and maybe he would pierce her nipples with his fangs, listen to her cry as he fitted her with two crystal barbells so that he could monitor where she was at all times. It wouldn’t do to have her out of his sight, not when she was so breath-takingly gorgeous. The world didn’t deserve her but he did. He deserved to be the one to fasten his lips, his teeth to her throat and mark her, drain her so that her sweet blood flowed like nectar down his throat and he could carry her in his heart, always. He imagined she’d struggle, push weakly at his chest but he would take her resistance and shatter her into a million pieces...only to put her back together again just to show her he was the only one who could.

Well...the only one of nine, perhaps.

Zaos’s free hand extended and with practiced, unconscious ease, his wine glass lifted from the table and floated into his waiting fingers. He took a casual sip, but even the expensive wine tasted sour when what he wanted was Monica. Now that he’d made up his mind, or rather she’d made up his mind for him by being so tempting, he knew he’d never be satisfied without her. He replaced his wine glass upon the table with a wave of his hand, ignoring the stares of awe he received from the others in the section; he knew he was impressive and he didn’t need the masses to tell him so. Instead, he was focused on his phone, retrieving it from it’s resting place in his lap. There was no shyness as he raised it, snapping a picture of Monica seated at the bar.

« Our new Pet. Thoughts? »

The group message between himself and his Tribe was scarcely used and thus, when it was, everyone paid attention to it. His father, Atamu, was the first to respond to the message and the attached picture.

« Do not come home without her. »

Zaos smirked; he was used to the abrupt, demanding way his father spoke and he wondered how Monica’s stubborn, fiery temper would handle standing up to the intimidating Patriarch.

« Gorgeous...What does she smell like? »

The Omega, Tod, was arguably the most...creepy of the Lakhani Tribe, and it was no surprise he asked this question. Zaos typed out a response with ease.

« Like heaven, Tod. »

« Send me her panties. Tonight. »

Zaos’s smirk only mildly concealed his laugh.

« But of course. »

It would be no consequence to port them to Tod and the poor boy deserved it; he needed a good release, and Zaos knew that was exactly what he would be doing--with those panties pressed against his nose, his other fist wrapped around his thick, weeping cock.

The next three to respond to the message were also no surprise; the Alpha Triplets, known to others as the Von Triplets, responded in their birth order. Cavon, then Savon, then Luvon, one right after the other in rapid fire succession.

« I’m gonna fuck her until she bleeds. Bring her home NOW. »

« Exceptional as always, Zaos. She is by far the prettiest Pet anyone has ever had. And I cannot wait to ruin her~ »

« The only good Pet is a well-bred one. I will make sure she is, until she is so round and swollen with child she won’t be able to think of leaving. »

Zaos looked impressed, which was saying something considering the source--for Luvon to be so vocal must mean Monica was truly calling to him, as she was doing to the entirety of his twisted, perverted Family.

« Is she as soft as she looks? As...breakable? »

That one was Markus, and Zaos could almost hear the controlled, measured tone. Out of the entire Family, Monica would likely fall the easiest for Markus because he was a master manipulator. He would seem her knight in shining armor, her safe place amongst monsters, while all the while he took from her greedily because he had both the most and least self-control of any of the Lakhani. He was needy, lonely, and Zaos could hear the desperation in his tone without needing to speak to the man. Monica was a tangible need in his life immediately, simply by a picture alone.

« You’ll have to tell me yourself once she’s home, Markus. »

« Send me a few more pictures, please. »

Zaos would indulge that for Markus, for the rest of the Tribe, and himself once he had Monica here beside him.

« Is she going to be our new Mommy? »

That was Jax, the youngest Lakhani but there was no mistaking he was one of the most dangerous because he had absolutely zero control over himself. He was maniacal, unhinged, a broken boy in desperate need of someone to cling to and while the question of wanting a new Mommy might sound sweet...Zaos knew his little brother better. The boy was going to pervert his relationship with Monica the second he sunk his teeth into her; she would be gaining two sons in the youngest twins, but it would be the most taboo Mother/son relationship in history.

« ...Mother. »

The last response was Jax’s twin Lucca, but like Luvon, the fact that the boy spoke at all was a momentous occasion. The text message read as if he was staring Monica in the eye, his hands reaching for her face before he pulled her in for a kiss that would steal her breath and her rejection all in one. Lucca was the void beside Jax’s tornado of a personality but he was just as insane as his twin. The two boys were young, freshly into their twenties, but they would behave like sick, depraved little boys for Monica. Their new Mommy.

« Lovely you all approve. I’ll bring her home to the Island in the morning, once I’ve got her life all packed up here. »

Zaos knew what he was bringing Monica home to, and he knew she had no idea what was coming her way--but he didn’t feel remorse for that. Why should he? The life of a Pet was a privileged one.

The secret life of Elite Society came with plenty of perks, but the most depraved was the buying and selling, the acquiring of Pets. It was an entire sub-culture of the Elite, and it was exactly what it sounded like. Anyone who was not an Elite could be considered a Pet, and it doesn’t matter the species. In other lifetimes, perhaps in other realities, one might compare it to the rich and famous wanting to own a tiger, to show off their wealth with such an exotic pet. Here in New Senzannini, the Elite have taken it a step further and begun owning people as Pets.

While it could be seen as a status symbol, owning a Pet, it also ran much deeper than that. For supernaturals, the acquisition of a Pet could mean a lifemate, a bond so deep it transcends lifetimes. Some Elites, supernatural or otherwise, take numerous Pets, either by trafficking or through more “legal” channels of purchasing them legitimately from Pet websites. To any who were not Elite, the life of a Pet may seem glamorous. Yes, one essentially gives up their freedom and becomes property of another, but becoming the Pet of a caring Elite means never having to work again. It means living in the lap of luxury, doted upon and spoiled much like one would expect from a Sugar Daddy/Mommy. Pet websites don’t list kidnapped victims but show willingly applicants wanting to become Pets, which says something for the lifestyle. Some aspects of it are legal, others...not so much. Usually there are contracts involved if an Elite wants a legal Pet, but kidnapped Pets are not uncommon. Zaos was hoping to meet Monica...somewhere in the middle. He was a persuasive man; he had every confidence he could get her to sign her life away to him, to put on a Pet ring and give herself over to the Tribe.

Unfortunately for her, he would not be taking no for an answer.

None of the Lakhani’s had ever taken Pets before. There was simply no interest, no desire, no one good enough to incite that primal need to possess, to claim, but Monica had changed all that and she had no idea. It amused Zaos, to know that her life was about to become their life, and the burning desire to keep her was a tangible thing, sitting heavily upon his chest. This was what they had all been waiting for. She was who they had all been waiting for. It was time to make his move.

“--and they’re just...they’re no good,” Dot was in the middle of trying to explain to Monica just what was wrong with the Lakhani but she didn’t feel she was making much headway.

Monica was listening, of course she was, but she couldn’t...help but find that aspect of danger a little...exciting. She licked her lips and sat up a little straighter. “They’re from your island, right?”

“Yeah, but it’s not like they just live there, love, they own that island. Rule it.”

“So most of them are still there?”

Dot nodded. “I think Zaos and Markus are the only ones who aren’t there very often.”

“Markus?” Monica tried to keep the interest out of her voice, but the more she learned about this Tribe...the more she wanted to learn.

“He’s a Skinwalker, not an Elf. Their whole Family are Shapeshifters. Most of them are Werewolves, but the Chieftain is a Werelion.” Dot realized a little late she wasn’t necessarily warning Monica off...more like feeding the flames. “Babe, you are hearing me, right? They’re seriously dangerous.”

“I know! I know, I hear you, I do.” Monica gave Dot a reassuring smile. “I really appreciate you looking out for me but really, it’s not like anything is going to happen! I’m definitely not just going to walk up to Zaos and--”

“Miss?”

Dot and Monica turned, spying one of the Bouncers from the VIP section standing in front of them. His focus was on Monica.

“Y-Yes?”

“Mr. Lakhani would like you to join him in the VIP Section.”

“Oh lord, here we go,” Dot muttered.

Monica couldn’t help it; she turned surprised eyes on Zaos, who only made it worse by lifting his hand, beckoning to her with two clawed fingers in a “Come here,” gesture that should be illegal, it was so sexy.

“I-I...I.” Monica trailed off, unsure what to say. She floundered for a moment, looking over at Dot, who had her eyebrows raised and was shaking her head. “P-Please tell him t-thank you, but i’m here with my friend--”

“Mr. Lakhani offered to pick up her tab if she’d be willing to relinquish you for the evening.”

“He thinks he can buy my date with free Bloody Mary’s?” Dot asked. The Bouncer nodded, once.

“Yes.”

Dot shifted her gaze from the Bouncer, to Zaos, then to Monica...and she had to admit, she could see the desire in Monica’s eyes. The Lakhani weren’t exactly...the sort of people you’d want your best friend hanging out with, but Dot also wasn’t going to ruin Monica’s Valentine’s Day. This was akin to a celebrity asking her over for drinks and Dot knew she wanted to go. Besides, what was the worst thing that could possibly happen? It’s a public place.

“...Aight, fine.” Dot gestured with a wave of her hand.

“A-Are you sure, Dottie?” Monica turned to the Bouncer. “Maybe she could come sit in the section with me?”

“Mr. Lakhani has already cleared the section. It will just be you two.”

That started Monica’s heart like a drum, and she barely had time to reason as to why he’d do that before Dot was giving her cheek a kiss--and speaking lowly against her ear.

“Text me the ❥ emoji if you need me to come get you,” Dot picked an emoji that wouldn’t raise alarms if Zaos happened to notice her sending it. “Be careful, sweetheart. These guys are the big leagues.”

“I-I will,” Monica returned Dot’s affection with a hug, before Dot took her fresh Bloody Mary and slipped off the bar to wander toward the couches by the pianist, still nearby if Monica needed her.

The Bouncer offered Monica his hand to help her down from her chair, but her knees nearly buckled when Zaos’s voice brushed against her mind again.

❝It amazes me how much I detest other people touching you.❞

She didn’t know what to say, and she wasn’t surprised when the Bouncer released her almost immediately after helping her down. She didn’t have to ask to know that was all Zaos’s doing, and it gave her a pause at just how powerful he really must be. Dot had been serious with her warnings and Monica knew enough about Zaos to know he was infamous and to some, feared, but there was a part of her that just couldn’t ignore the attraction, the want to bask in the attention he was giving her. Was this a bad idea? Probably, it was more than likely a terrible idea, but Monica had never said she had a ton of self-control. He was an Elf, and she’d never even had the opportunity to talk to an Elf before, much less sit down and share Valentine’s Day drinks with one.

True to what the Bouncer said, the VIP section was empty when Monica arrived. Zaos stood when she entered, an Old World gesture that was extremely flattering, but also showed Monica this Elf was over seven feet tall. Zaos was stockier than most Elves tended to be; with well-defined muscle mass that was easy to see now that she was so close to him. He offered his hand as she came to stand in front of him and as she placed her hand in his, he bent his spine to kiss the back of her hand.

“At last, Monica, we meet formally. You are even more beautiful up close.”

“T-Thank you, Mr. Lakhani.”

“Zaos, darling, please.” Zaos stressed, and he kept hold of her petite hand, urging her to sit upon the couch. He lowered himself beside her, extremely close, so that their thighs touched and she was nearly beneath the hollow of his broad shoulder. Only one they were seated did he release her hand, moving his arm around the back of her seat, his hand falling to her bare shoulder and she had to fight off a shudder at the touch of his sharp claws against her skin. “I’m delighted you accepted my invitation.”

Zaos had a...peculiar way of speaking; what he was saying sounded polite, charming, but Monica could hear that distinctive purr beneath his baritone, and it was a purr she knew could crack like a whip if he wanted to. He was an Elf, so his voice would be naturally, beautifully smooth, but on top of that he was a Sorcerer and their voice is half their power; Monica realized perhaps a little too late that he could probably get her to do anything with that black magic voice alone. His words seemed to be sentient, trailing over her skin like his fingers upon her shoulder and now that she was so close, his pipe was heady, a rich scent of incense that was a pleasing tickle beneath her nose. When he moved to take an inhale on the hand-carved long pipe, a jingling caught her attention and she was finally able to see his ears. They were long, splitting his tawny blond hair and they were pierced all the way up; the bells he wore jingled merrily when he moved and when he noticed her staring, he wiggled his ears. The bells rang and Monica had to fight off the urge to squeal excitedly.

Zaos Lakhani certainly had a presence to him and she was falling beneath it very quickly.

Zaos was not immune to her presence, however. There was nothing, nothing that could have prepared him for how much sweeter she smelled so close. He swallowed thickly, exhaling a plume of smoke from his nostrils in a desperate attempt to clear his head but every time he inhaled, he took her a little deeper into his body and he could feel her twisting around his lungs like rose vines. He had absolutely made the right decision in picking her out of the crowd and no matter what the outcome of this conversation, she would not be without him, without the Lakhani’s, again in her life. It mattered very little to Zaos how she might feel about the arrangement, about the offer to be a Pet--it didn’t matter what they called it, what label she was given, the bottommost line would be that she would be theirs, she would be his, and that was all that mattered. In the scant time Monica had been in his life, she’d taken it over--so it was only fair that he do the same for her with a Pet ring, right? Of course he was right. Zaos was always right. If Monica wasn’t happy with the arrangement initially...she’d come around. She wouldn’t have a choice, because he was not going to give her up and if she tried to flee, the other Lakhani would come. They’d had a taste and like sharks with blood in the water they would be relentless in their pursuit. Zaos traced intricate, ancient patterns into the bare skin of her shoulder with the tips of his claws as he smirked to himself; his Tribe was not known for many nice things but what he found nice was to have their support. Yes, it meant he would have to fight his possessive nature to share her with the rest of them but she would find it so much harder to escape all nine of them. It put the Sorcerer at ease, and he crossed one long leg over the other, fully aware as his body brushed against Monica’s.

“Tell me, Monica,” he drawled, his unique accent adding to his exotic appearance. “Why are you alone on Valentine’s Day?”

Monica could have no way of knowing she was walking in a minefield; Zaos was asking because he needed to know if there was competition to take out. He could pluck the information from her mind, and he would, just to make sure she wasn’t downplaying some idiot’s interest in her (how could a woman so beautiful not have a hundred suitors?) but if he were honest with himself he was desperate to hear her voice. She had a voice that made one long for the bedroom, for candles and silk sheets and hours to spend with her wrapped around him, milking him while she cried, screamed for him and him alone. Zaos’s touch became a bit more insistent, moving from her shoulder up into her hair, crushing the soft strands between his strong digits.

“W-Well I,” Monica tried to think around Zaos playing with her hair, touching her, but it was near impossible. “I-I just d-don’t have a b-boyfriend this year?”

Zaos’s smirk was downright savage, a thing of masculine beauty and Monica found herself helplessly staring at those rows of sharp teeth, right down to his elongated fangs.

“What a loss for the rest of the world,” he mused, turning those brilliant eyes down to her. “But not for me, hm?”

Monica didn’t know how to answer that, and she had to look away, fidgeting until she crossed her own legs--the pressure on her clit felt nice. She’d just been so...hot, since Zaos started talking to her.

“What if I could make you a promise that you would never have to spend another Valentine’s Day alone, ever again?”

There it was. That black magic that slithered over her skin like a mamba, and Monica’s gaze snapped back up to Zaos without her consciously aware of the movement. He towered over her but still he pressed closer, leaning down into her space so that their noses nearly touched.

“Everyone shames Eve for taking the apple, for biting into the forbidden fruit, but I have always applauded her initiative,” Zaos’s sharp teeth clacked audibly as he took a deep drag off his pipe, his eyes nailing Monica to her seat. When he spoke, the wisps of his rain-scented smoke wafted between them, caressing along her cheek and throwing a haze of magic like an unbreakable spell. “Why shouldn’t she have what she wants? And on that same hand, my dear, sweet girl, why shouldn’t you?”

“H-How...” Monica cleared her throat, desperate to look away from the ocean in his eyes. “How do you know...what I want?”

“Because it is the same thing I want, my darling.” Zaos brought his hand up, his fingers brushing against her temple as he pushed her hair from obscuring her face from him--he would have nothing between them. “Are you going to tell me you don’t want me?”

“I-I--”

“If you force me to play this game of Cat and mouse, I’ll slip my fingers between your thighs and feel that slick heat for myself,” Zaos’s whisper was sin against Monica’s mouth--when had he gotten so close?! His promise tinted her cheeks a beautiful rouge and he made a deep noise of approval, turning his head to nuzzle her heated flesh. “I bet you taste of honey and strawberries, don’t you, little girl?”

“Z-Zaos, w-wait,” Monica shakily reached up to push at Zaos’s chest but that was a mistake. His open silk suit was a trap in and of itself and as soon as she felt the heavy muscles beneath his unblemished skin, she forgot her objections. Zaos smirked against her cheek, his lips moving to her ear.

“You know who I am, Monica. What I can do,” Zaos tempted, his hand curving around her waist to ease her closer still, hating even the scant few inches of space between them. “I could give you anything in the entire world with the snap of my fingers.”

Monica exhaled shakily, all too aware of Zaos’s deep inhale in response, as if he was taking her into his lungs. Her trembling fingers slipped up to his throat for some sort of anchor and he made a deep noise of approval at the slide of silk skin against his own.

“W...What would you want in return?”

“Clever girl, knowing nothing in the world is free.” Zaos drew back from her ear--but not before leaving a teasing lick against the shell, earning him a startled whine that hardened his cock unbearably in an instant. He exhaled in a quiet groan, before giving up on fighting his desire and in a moment’s time Monica was in his lap, straddling him. Zaos was so much larger than she, it forced her thighs so far apart she was forced to settle right over his thick, straining cock and her startled eyes flew to his but he was already smirking. He knew he was...gifted, and he knew she was so petite it would be a delicious burn when he fitted himself between her thighs and claimed her for the first time. That tight little cunt would be sore for days afterward.

Now that she was in his lap, Zaos knew he held all the power, and he knew she would be too distracted to realize he was just as much under her spell as she was under his. Obsession is funny, that way.

“Are you aware of the Elite concept of Pets, Monica?”

She bit her lip, nodding, but it was a gesture Zaos nearly missed--he was too busy focusing on those little teeth fitted against her plump lower lip. Everything about Monica was petite, a small gift from the heavens and Zaos kept one hand around the small of her back, ensuring she didn’t shy away from him. He couldn’t tolerate space between them, right now--perhaps never again.

“Then you know what I want from you.”

Monica met Zaos’s gaze, her heart stopping and then starting so loudly she could barely hear anything else. The entire lounge seemed to cease to exist and if she had the presence of mind to ask, Zaos would have reassured her that he was the only one who could see her; it was effortless to obscure them from prying eyes, and Zaos had been desperate to keep her attention, her beauty, all to himself all evening.

“Y-You want...?”

“I want you to be my Pet.” Zaos was not exactly lying; he did want Monica to be his Pet. He simply wasn’t telling the entire truth; that if she agreed to be his, she was agreeing to his entire Tribe. That was a conversation for a later date, when she’d already signed her life to him and could not possibly hope to escape him. Right now, he conjured up his Pet ring (all Elites had them, whether they decided to use them or not) and as he held the shimmering, expensive piece of jewelry toward Monica like the apple that tempted Eve, he gave her a charming, serpent’s smile. “I want you, Monica. If you give yourself to me, the rest of the world can be yours.”

For the first time in her life, Monica understood that old biblical tale and she understood why Eve gave in. Everything about Zaos was otherwordly, from his appearance to the casual way he manipulated time and space with his magic; she knew he hadn’t had the ring on him, that he’d conjured it up from whereever he’d been keeping it. It shimmered even in the ambient lighting; it appeared similar to a normal wedding ring but she knew, she’d read they were different. They bind a Pet to their Elite, linked by magic or maybe technology or maybe it was some combination of both--that she didn’t know, but she knew if she put that ring on, she would never be able to remove it on her own. Elites take their Pet ownership seriously...and she had no doubt that Zaos would be the type to take it extremely seriously. She wouldn’t be able to leave him...but would she want to? If Zaos was trying to confuse her, to use his sexuality and his obvious advantage over her for so many reasons, it was working. For a fleeting moment, Monica thought to her phone upon the couch cushions but even as she turned toward it, Zaos caught her chin with his fingers, the ring in the palm of his large hand.

“I won’t have you paying attention to anyone else right now, little one.” There was little room for argument, even as Zaos ran his sharp claw over her lower lip, his eyes devouring her as he stared down at her. He was so much taller, she couldn’t even see over his shoulders. “Say yes to me. You know it feels right. It feels...good, doesn’t it?”

There was pressure exerted as Zaos gripped her ass through her dress, forcing her to grind against his covered erection and the pressure on her barely covered clit had her parting her lips in a gasping pant. In the back of her mind, she knew this wasn’t fair, this was cheating, a tactic Zaos must be using to throw her off her logic. But it was so hard to think...because it did feel good.

“Say yes, Monica, and I will satisfy that ache you feel,” Zaos slipped his hand around the nape of her neck, pulling her forward so her forehead against against his, his smoky breath a caress against her mouth. “That’s what you want, isn’t it? To feel me, deep inside, claiming you?” Zaos’s eyes were sin incarnate, his words a mirror of his actions and Monica could hardly think for drowning in him. His tone silken, imploring, so tempting she couldn’t imagine saying no. “Be a good girl and tell me what I want to hear. Tell me you’ll belong to me.”

“...Y...Y-Yes,” Monica was barely aware of what she was saying, but her body was betraying her and so was her heart. Her mind could hardly keep up with the assault on her senses, and all she knew...was that she loved how it feel when Zaos purred out--

“Good girl,” he urged her forward, claiming her mouth in a searing kiss that curled her toes in her stilettos. There was no space between them, her body forced to his and she found she didn’t...want to resist. Her shaking fingers were pressed to his chest, trapped between their bodies as Zaos drank from her mouth, kissing her so thoroughly she knew she was in over her head. No one should be able to kiss the way Zaos could; he was all silk heat and Dominance, so that she was parting her lips for him without needing to be told. His tongue swept along hers, claiming, exploring, tasting every inch of her he could reach and she was so distracted by his kiss that it took her a moment to realize he’d slipped the ring over her finger--but when it bonded to her flesh, she drew back from the kiss to stare down at it. It didn’t...hurt, but she’d have to cut her finger off to get the ring off. The only one who would be able to remove it was Zaos--

“Don’t be silly, little one.” Zaos pressed a kiss to her forehead, finally able to relax now that he’d cemented her forever--by claiming it. “That ring will never be taken off. You are mine, now and forever.”

Monica took a shuddering breath, feeling her lips beginning to swell from the force of Zaos’s claim. Her heart was hammering in her chest, and she was such a strange mixture of excited and petrified. Zaos slipped his hand up from her perfect little ass to her back, urging her to lie against his chest as he picked up his phone with his free hand, swiping to open the camera to take a picture of her lying on him, the ring clearly on display upon her finger.

“Smile, my love. We have to tell the others the good news.”

“T-The others?”

Zaos’s smirk could be felt against her hair as he snapped the picture to send to the ravenous, waiting Tribe. “Oh, darling. You have so very much to learn.”

The End...?

#{theme} : for monica #{collection} : 14 days of valentine's #{character} : zaos dreadful #{ MAN this was super fun to write! }#{ this really would make a killer story }#{ happy valentine's day punkin!! ♥ }

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oflgtfol · 2 years

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9, 27, 50 wahoo

9. What made you realize you were aspec / arospec?

i don't think there was any one single thing that made me realize. i know i felt abnormal and disconnected from everyone else from a very young age, and i kind of always knew that the "fall in love -> get married -> house with a white picket fence -> 2.5 kids -> die happy" path in life wouldn't ever play out for me. i would say probably as young as like, first grade, so 6-7 years old?

but i was too young to like. really understand the reason as to why that life wasn't for me. as i said i just felt abnormal, kind of wrong, kind of a failure. i didn't understand concepts like attraction or even really what "romance" was i just knew i wasn't like everyone else for some reason

by 10 years old i think i did finally figure it out, the reason why i felt so wrong and abnormal. coincidentally that was also at the height of my hopeless romantic phase so i spent like all my free time reading romance stories and books. so after months of surrounding myself with all that i was finally able to consciously say like, "oh shit. this will never happen to me." but again i didn't really have the vocabulary to describe what that was so i still thought i was just like, fundamentally fucked up as a person? like i had a screw loose or something and it prevented me from being ~normal~ like everyone else

and then when i was 13 i was on tumblr and i finally heard the word "aromantic" and it just like. fundamentally resonated with me lol. like, oh. that's the reason why i'm like this. of course i continued to live in denial for a few more months till i finally decided to actively identify as aro but ultimately deep inside i still like, KNEW, as soon as i saw the word lol

27. Do you enjoy seeing romance IRL / online / in media / etc. ?

it really honestly depends on the day?? i guess i would say most of the time i'm pretty apathetic about it but when i have any strong feelings i think they do tend to be negative.

with background romance it's just kind of. whatever. but any romance involving main characters does tend to make me like want to take them by their shoulders and shake them with frustration LMFAO i think my negative feelings tend to come from the fact that like, 90% of romance in mainstream media is the most boring, baseless bullshit EVER. it's like, guy and girl make eye contact, BOOM they're getting married two days later. it makes me want to rip my hair out LMFAO

but, y'know, sometimes i do enjoy it! i think probably the only fictional romance that i have ever like, genuinely lost my marbles over, is eddie/venom, and it's due to sooo many factors that i won't get into here because that's not what this post is about LMFAOO but to keep it short - they are not boring, and they have such an interesting fucking dynamic that is sooo fun to explore that like very few other media has. even other romances that lean more towards "better written" still tend to be just... boringggg and so like. yeah unfortunately i do still get a little negative / frustrated with romance in media even if it isn't as vapid as "he was a boy / she was a girl / can i make it anymore obvious"

50. Any arospec headcanons?

i am the number one Aromantic Din Djarin champion !!!!!! i will die on this fucking hill. i will accept nothing else.

other than din, my other like, main aro headcanons i guess are

tigress from kung fu panda <3

po also from kung fu panda

toph beifong from atla

fennec shand from star wars

ford pines from gravity falls

and i definitely have way more but just with characters i don't really care about long-term (hence why i can't remember them off the top of my head lol)

» arospec ask game here

#this was all very long winded. sorrie. you chose some very interesting questions i jsut had to ramble to <3 #ask #dandyshorts #aro tag

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tamiddyinyourcity · 4 years

Text

I think it's too soon to write how I feel.

But overall, I'm glad I met him. And I'm happy we got to spend our time together. I'm pissed off at the dude, since well, downloading videos and instagram stories and photos of your ex-fwb's page, when you're in an exclusive relationship that already has a few flags popping up.....

It's just not cool.

I feel pretty hurt.

I'm not gonna lie and say I've "hashtag bossed up", I'm gonna be honest. I am a rational, vulnerable adult, who just had to break things off with someone she really cared about, but, got too many mixed signals from.

How's a girl supposed to feel? Knowing that while she absolutely is only into you, you're sahing with your full chest, "I haven't stopped being sexually attracted to her, just because I'm not with her! What kind of person would I be? I don't see how people would just STOP being attracted to someone."

....it would've made you a FUCKING monogamous human being, and actually proving you like your girlfriend, fucking asshole.

For example, with Patrick #1, when he ghosted me and kept showing interest one second and then fucking other girls the next second, I simply realized he wasn't for me, what we had passed, then focused my attention on (ugly, stupid, bitch-made ass,) P*trick #2.

I didn't continuously stalk their Instagram, then download every fucking video and story they post of themselves in lingerie or dresses like a fucking pervert.

I don't even have the full energy to explain the simplicity of "your girlfriend, who worries you might just be dating her to use her as sex or validation because your The One That Got Away isn't giving you attention, is gonna be very upset, when she finds out you were downloading Sexual Videos of your The One That Got Away....

.....while she was AT YOUR HOUSE, in YOUR bedroom, as you were ignoring HER.

.....

I'm honestly so dehydrated from crying.

I literally sobbed so hard the other night to an extreme extent, when I was explaining how certain comments of him potentially losing all interest in me if his sexual impregnation kink ever actually happened, (like bro nigga what the fuck,) and how him being openly silent and, admittedly a bit passive aggressive, about how my creative career could just be a pipe dream, and not even happen, therefore, he shouldn't react too much to my ideas....

(For fucks sake, if a potential girl you wanna be with long term or have that hypothetical white picket fence type dream with, has a career that she's striving to succeed in..... don't.... shun it man?.....)

Since:

Cute girl + idealistic future + her dream career + negative passive aggressive comments aspiring to fail =/= oh look she gave up her dreams and is now living her life in the suburbs with her rich ass boo thang being a trophy wife

Cute girl + idealistic future + her dream career + negativity from the one who wants to have the idealistic future with her = oh look she got a new boyfriend who supports her dreams and she ends up with tons of awards before finally feeling satisfied and financially stable enough to get married and start a family.

cute girl + idealistic future + her dream career + positivity and support from the man that also wants her success as well as a future life with her = oh look, thats tamiddy, and the guy that makes her smile, on the red carpet just full on balls deep in her pussy-

I got kinda off track, sorry. But, would be hot.

Anyway...

He didn't say much the other night when I cried. But he did comfort me. He didn't know what to say, but still rubbed my back, held my hand, traced his hands slowly up and down my arm to soothe me down.

And I recall him saying, "You're very important to me." And stressing that the way I felt was much more important than any way he had felt about me.

.......

I guess I feel sorta betrayed.

Since at the rose garden, they seemed.... I don't know, man. We talked about things. He seemed to make it clear he didn't want to date anyone else. And whatever.

And even the fucking night before, he was supposedly telling his best friend all about how we met and our relationship origin story. I met his family, for fuck's sake. Now I just feel kinda hurt, and confused. Since oh, he was still downloading aaaaall those clips of her in swimsuits, lingerie, and fucking more. He even messaged the bitch on Saturday at 7pm! I was with him! Fuck that.

And not entirely guilt, but some thoughts remain.....

I literally feel like how Meek Mill's (now ex) wife felt about Meek Mill, as he went on Twitter to rant on about Nicki.

....

It all happened so fast.

I planned to just get one pillow and leave.

Next thing you know, it's 650+ dollars worth of items in the cart and he's egging me on to buy as much jewelry as possible. (Gosh, he knows me a bit too well at that damn point....)

Then it's singing to Sugar We're Going Down.

Driving home.

Being home, he gets quiet...

Beans get spilled.

It gets a bit louder.

Then awkward.

(I think he just stood by his door and listened to me crying while simultaneously talking shit.)

A terrible non-apology.

Extreme silence for the whole 50 minute ride home.

And then him giving me my items on my back porch. But, I didn't hate him. I was pissed, and needed to leave the relationship instantly in order to avoid feeling like I was being lead on, (the way things were going, and hearing about it taking him 6 months to realize he liked his ex more as a friend,) I found it easier to leave.

He did as well, since he felt too bad hurting me, and didn't want to hurt me again.

It's a shame things didn't work out. But, eh. Better to leave now that it's become clear how he perceives me, and others, I guess. (Not having a perception of me this deep into the relationship was a sign, honestly.)

As he hugged before parting ways, he did tell me what he liked about me. And offered to get me a greenscreen.

Makes me feel a little bad that I didn't really leave room to see how he felt career wise for me and my future goals, and other stuff.... But, his passive statements probably told me enough. His actions speak louder than words. And I'm not sure how to feel about this at all, but I'm glad I still met him, at least.

Sorta sucks though.

Out of all the things to download or do, simping behind my back? Fuck. :/

#1:20am #friday august 7th of 2020

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onegirlmanymiles · 6 years

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Africa Part One

Note – This post and the ones to come will be similar to a diary recount but it’ll include day by day (especially beginning of the trip) and also include countries/cities/places (this may not be necessarily in the order I travelled – feel free to ask for the route!) I will try include specific towns and camp sites and my opinions of each, i’ll also include tips I learnt throughout the trip (like money exchange, expected pricing and recommended activities).

For those who are reading I did a tour called “Best of Southern Africa” with the company ‘Geckos’ – an Australian based company which caters for individuals 18-29 – This particular tour went for 17 days and included some meals, activities and accomodation (a tent)

*** During this entry and the ones to follow i will use the pronouns ‘black’ and ‘white’ to describe individuals and in no way is this intended to be racist, rather than a description to express the differences and notices in culture ***

After a long 26 hours of travelling I finally touch downed in Johannesburg (also known as Joburg). Excited was an understatement, not only was I about to embark on a journey of a life time, but the next day I was going to meet 15 strangers and 2 guides who I would be living with, making memories with and creating friendships with.

I met my driver at the airport and off we went 45 minutes to Rosebank where my hotel was situated. The drive was quiet and I was exhausted so I took in a lot of the scenery (buildings and people). Coming from Australia I didn’t know much about Africa and I hadn’t really researched much as I wanted to create a fresh perspective.

I noted that all the white people were driving, and the black were walking. There was a very notable difference in wealth between houses we passed, many wealthy houses known to be owned by white people have fences as tall as the house, with electric fences at the top and some neighbourhoods even have security guards! Other houses were very run down with broken windows or tinned roofs and not a fence in sight.

Many black people were selling things on the road like fruit or jewellery or simply begging. I was quite shocked when I was a white person homeless and begging, as it seemed out of sort in the area. It was different to what I expected, not as bad as what everyone had told me. I hadn’t experienced much poverty or felt like the area was dangerous, but at this stage I hadn’t experienced the city.

My first day in Joburg I simply relaxed and slept, mostly because I was so drained from the travel but I was also unsure about the city. There are many safety warnings, especially considering I’m a white young female.

The next day was much the same but I was waiting for my buddy for the next 17 days! When she arrived I knew we were going to be good friends, we clicked instantly! Always laughing and were already comfortable with each other. We decided to go to the mall (next to the hotel) and have a look around to get some last minute supplies and have dinner before meeting the group. The mall was very large and clean but a lot of empty shops awaiting renters. There were security guards posted at almost every corner which instantly makes you feel safer.

The mall included a lot of shops you’d find in Australia like billabong, lush and sports stores like puma and nike (and luckily it happened to be Black Friday sales!) Seeing shops like these made me realise we were in a wealthy part of Joburg. The billabong store was way cheaper than Australia and included a lot of “South Africa” branded items so of course I bought a shirt!

Time flew by and it was time to meet the group. We went upstairs and my first impression was “wow, everyone is so different”. I didn’t think we’d all get along, we all had different backgrounds, personalities and purposes. 12 girls and 4 boys, mixed ages and from different countries around the world. 2 guides, one from Zimbabwe and one from South Africa. I had no idea how the next 17 days were going to go!

After our meeting we were informed of the next days plan. 4:30am start with a long 10 hour drive across the boarder and into Botswana! (Covered Part Two)

Skipping forward to after the tour and I was back in Joburg. I had 1.5 spare days before my flight which finally meant exploring!

Note: I do NOT recommend exploring the city alone, regardless of age, race and gender!

Myself and 2 friends from the tour decided to do a “hop-on hop-off” bus after walking past a ticket place in the mall. May I add, best decision ever! There are designated stops (tourist attractions) you can hop off at and explore and jump back on the next bus when you are finished! As we only had 1 day, we chose 3 main stops we wanted to do – Constitutional Hill, Carlton Centre and the Apartheid Museum.

We chose these after looking at the brochure and seeing how fascinating each one looked. Coming from Australia I honestly knew nothing about African history and had no idea what these attractions were until seeing the brochure.

I will go in-depth for each attraction both for education purposes, because it honestly changed my life and so you know how incredible they are!

Constitutional Hill With only a 100 year history, Constitutional Hill represents the transition between injustice to justice, separated by the great African steps. On one side is the jail that held many black political individuals who fought for their rights including Nelson Mandela and Mahatma Gandhi. It takes you on a recent, heartfelt journey which demonstrates the harsh treatment of individuals with some primary sources of individuals who experienced time here recounting their experiences. It showcases he differences in treatment between the black and white and includes first hand sites of jail cells, including isolation cells where individuals could spend up to 30 days, with the carvings on the doors still in place. There is also a women’s jail on the other side which held individuals like Winnie Mandela, recently renovated to include offices and a HIV clinic, it still opens your mind to history.

Separated by the great African steps, the other side is the Constitutional Court which endorses rights for ALL individuals.

I highly recommend taking a trip here! For 40ZAR. Learning about the Apartheid was something I’ll never forget.

Carlton Centre 223m high is sure a view to enjoy! For only 15 ZAR, it’s definitely worth a peak!

Take an elevator 50 floors high and see Joburg from above. See the differences in wealth between the North and South, see the skyscrapers and the small buildings still standing from the gold mine, and see the large yellow empty spaces where gold mining was once done. You only spend 15 minutes up here, but the Ariel view is something to take in!

Apartheid Museum Apartheid is the segregation between black and white individuals between 1948-1991. This museum showcases the different individuals and their stories on the battles they faced for justice and equality for their races. It houses a whole room on Nelson Mandela, from the start of his journey, in between up and all the way until his recent death.

Many people don’t know the great details about this time, so this museum is a good place to show you what it was truly like, with primary resources from interviews of individuals to original posters and signs.

As soon as you walk in you are captivated, you are assigned a piece of paper which tells you if your black or white and you must follow the path accordingly, potentially separating you from your friends.

This was extremely eye opening for me, being forced down a path on my own, segregated from my friends and seeing the lives of individuals along the way who experienced something much more tragic.

The Apartheid Museum is a tear jerker for sure, but it’s an important part of recent history which needs to be recognised more commonly around the globe, especially Australia!

#africa #diary entry #travel #traveldiary2018 #southafrica #johannesburg

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benjamingarden · 4 years

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Weekending

Happy Monday friends! I hope you are doing well. Summer got off to a steamy start here in upstate NY and we are now enjoying a bit cooler temps. I'm grateful we get a break from the heat. Wishing we could catch a break from the humidity as well. The critters are pretty grateful too. We were blessed with one day of rain during the week which made our lawn and garden quite happy. We were expecting rain both Saturday and Sunday but we barely had any at all until Sunday night. Today we're getting a bit more so I expect that the garden will grow by leaps and bounds this week.

(I trimmed some of the onions - I need to get to the rest!)

(the peas are still doing very well)

In The Garden - our garden has exploded in greenery and fresh veg. We are blessed with an enormous amount of shade provided by a large number of trees around our property so our garden typically takes a bit longer then most to produce. But when it does produce we are usually inundated with deliciousness. Hoping this year will be no different. I've been watching 5 large green tomatoes, waiting patiently for them to ripen (and praying the chipmunks leave them alone....). Last year I got a bit carried away with planting tomatoes, and this year I got a bit carried away with planting onions and sweet potatoes. At least onions and sweet potatoes are both veg that can be stored. And we eat a ton of each (that's how I've justified it to my husband who questioned the massive amount of sweet potato vines and sea of onion tops....). And I FINALLY have sunflowers growing again! The past couple of years I've battled the squirrels and chipmunks who both stole my seeds and, for the seeds they missed, ate my baby sunflower plants. While I can't get too cocky yet, all of my sunflowers are a few feet tall so I'm hopeful they'll make it.

Backyard Wildlife - We have 4 woodchucks living around our property. We are living in harmony this year so far. You know the old saying that fences make good neighbors? Well, fences also make it possible to live in harmony with wild critters so they don't demolish the garden. Leaving them fruit and veggie bits make them quite happy as well. We were actually quite abundant in wildlife this year. We have birdhouses around the property that were all full of birds raising their babies. We also had some nest-building. One Robin built her nest in our lean-to where we store our trash cans. We would accidentally scare her when we would go to dump trash so we began whistling so she knew we were coming. She would fly out when we'd whistle and then squawk at us from a tree a few feet away until we left. One evening, after her young were fully feathered, the chicks decided to try flying when we were both at the trash can and mama bird was in the tree squawking. Jay had just opened the lid to the trash can when a chick went plummeting into it. I was able to carefully dig it out and it sat on my hand for a bit before attempting to fly again. Poor momma began chirping wildly. She eventually gathered the 3 chicks and all was well. They have since moved on. Actually, the last of our bird families just left this past week.

In The Kitchen - many of you have emailed me after trying the Healthier Chocolate Zucchini Cake and have shared that you LOVE it. I'm so happy to hear that! Some of you have requested a vegan version and I haven't gotten it completely worked out. Mostly because I'm trying not to eat much flour these days, but I will give it a go in the next month. Batch cooking has been a priority so I don't have to heat the house up every night. I've been enjoying many different themed bowls and Jay sometimes has what I prepare for myself as a side and other times we use the grill's side burner to cook his side. His meat is cooked on the grill as well so the house stays cool. Yesterday I cooked up some Cilantro-Lime Brown Rice and Mexican-Style Lentils that I'll pair with a fresh salsa, steamed broccoli or cauliflower, and raw greens. I will probably make a non-dairy "cheese" sauce and roasted potato bites to use as well. This way I can either have the rice, lentils, salsa, broccoli and greens or the potatoes, lentils, cauliflower, greens and cheese sauce. I've also been enjoying a summer squash and (oil-free) pesto soup that I concocted one day. I'm not usually a soup fan in summer but it is simple and delicious.

In The Coop - the poor Coop Girls. They love the summer but absolutely detest high heat and humidity. We put their box fan in one of the coop windows to provide some relief hot days. They get up on the roost that is across from the fan, spread their wings out a bit, and just enjoy the breeze it provides. We dusted the coop with diatomaceous earth to prevent mites and other pests that the humidity attracts. For the most part, egg production is good. When we have stretches of humidity it does drop a bit. I can't blame them - I'm not a fan of it either. We are giving them plenty of fruit and grains soaked in water, yogurt, or milk as treats which they are enjoying.

Oliver - he's doing very well. We've been eating dinner out on the deck since we realized we could put up an outdoor canopy/tent with screened walls to allow us a bug-free dining space. Oliver has been bummed because our outdoor table and chairs are tall so he can't feel like he's a part of it. So, feeling bad for him, Jay made him his very own stool of sorts. It's kind of like a toddler tower but fits one of his smaller beds. He LOVES it! He sits right next to me and adores that he can see us as well as what's going on around the property from a different viewpoint. Slightly spoiled? Yes, I know.

Jack - poor Jackson. People have been shooting off fireworks on random nights between 9:30 and 10 and he goes into a full-on panic. He detests loud noises and there's just no calming him down. I've started giving him Bach's Remedy on the nights when they start up. I think it's helping a bit. Other then that he's doing well.

Around The House - home projects have slowed a bit but I plan to paint the dining room this week (hooray!) and hopefully get to the living room in a couple of weeks. I would like to get to the stairwell and painting the radiators on the main floor as well, but not sure if there will be time. We'll see. Jay worked on trimming the vines that were killing the trees both on our property and just outside of it. As you know, we adore our shade so he's been working on them for the last few years. I think he's finally got it! He's been working on installing gutters on our outbuildings and I believe he's going to work on painting the exterior of our home next. (same color, just needs to be scraped and painted) We determined that if he paints 2 sides instead of all 4 then it's much easier to fit into the summer schedule. So, he'll do 2 this year and 2 next year and then it will be awhile before it's needed again. We're hoping to be able to find the time to replace one of our front porches this year as well. It needs a bit of rebuilding because there is some rot, and then we'll be putting trex decking down. If we get one done then we plan to get the second porch completed next year. Oh, and remember that I mentioned I was going to let my hair go gray after my mother passed away? Yup, I am definitely gray! My hair is absolutely white in the front but blended a bit in the back because I still have some brown to grow out. It will be a year in August since I've started letting it grow out. Honestly, I don't mind it. I'm happy to not be using hair dye every month, so it's worth it.

The Business - Our farmer's market has definitely slowed since we don't have the amount of out-of-towners that we usually have, but we certainly can't complain. Our locals have been incredibly supportive and our online store continues to do well too. We are in full production of product right now. Some of our craft shows have cancelled their shows for this year and we anticipate the remainder will eventually cancel as well. We have no idea what will happen in fall and winter this year so we're just taking it a day at a time. That seems to be everyone's theme for the year. Hoping you had a lovely weekend as well! Do tell - did you do anything fun or productive? Cook anything delicious? Read a good book? Little Bit Of Link Love: Do you love garlic scapes? How about dilly beans? Ever thought of putting them together? Me neither! Our VERY favorite museum shares the recipe and I think I'll be trying it this year. (shelburne museum) Summer is when local fruit is perfectly ripened and widely available but it's also a time when it's too hot to want to do any canning. Marisa shares a post/guide for making jam from frozen fruit. A perfect compromise! (food in jars) Speaking of canning, this raspberry-peach-ginger jam that is sweetened with honey is speaking to me. I'm loving ginger these days! (rachel wolf) (affiliate link) My FAVORITE non-stick alternative pans. I've struggled to find a pan that works for delicate things like eggs and crepes and I have finally found a pan that works great! I love them so much I bought all 3 sizes with lids in Lava Black. (amazon)

Weekending was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)

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surveys-at-your-service · 7 years

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Survey #63

“now it’s you-know-who, i got the you-know-what, stick it you-know-where, you know why, you don’t care.”

tell me about the last thing that made you laugh until it hurt. chelsea showed me a stupid video that had me crying on new year's. i normally wouldn't have laughed so hard, but i was almost drunk. is there a trampoline in your backyard? no. we got rid of ours years ago. what about kids on leashes? what do you think about that? i don't feel much about it, because i've never raised a child. it's funny to see, no doubt, but idk if it's right or wrong. kids can be dangerously ignorant. for whatever reason, your significant other can NEVER have sex again. do you stay with them? duh. i can live without it. how would you react to losing a close friend? same shit, different day. have you ever drunk/eaten a substance in the science lab? no, because i didn't want to die back when i was in school. have you ever led the prayer at dinnertime? if not, do you want to? i have. do you like those sudoku puzzles?   i sure do. have you ever taken a course in chemistry?   no, i took physical science, which had chemistry mixed into it. do you like to draw? not nearly as much as i used to... so, tell me about your day. was it good?   same old day. woke up, ate breakfast and such, watched my daily gmm. started taking surveys while i listened to music and let's plays in the background. seriously, it's the same every other day. do you have your own web site?   well i mean i created the rp forum my friends and i moved to, but it's not "mine." do you frequently add people to your friend’s list that you don’t know? no, never. how do you feel about girls that post half naked pictures on facebook? cover it up, hunny. not everyone needs to know you like that. sorry to be all "conservative," but i hate that shit. what’s your favorite ice cream flavor? vanilla, but with chocolate icing. have you ever considered changing your sexuality? no, i have not. i don't believe you can just "change" your sexuality like that. ever thought about changing your gender? here come the liberals. i don't believe it's possible to change your gender. what is the worst physical pain you have ever felt? getting my former cyst emptied at the er. fuck that. who is the most inappropriate person you know? mmmm... chelsea, probably. has someone ever told you they loved you and you didn’t say it back? yeah. are you satisfied with what you currently have in life? no. like look... i am happy i have a house. i have both parents. we have food. but what i have, both good and bad, is not enough for me to see a happy life possible. how long has it been since you kissed someone? over a year ago. your best friend has sex with your ex. what happens? i'm killing her. your ex wants you back, but you are in a relationship. what do you do? ... fucking kill me. i'd leave my current boyfriend to be with him. what did you do last night? wallowed in self-pity, convinced myself to not kill myself. if someone was to ask you if you were okay right now, are you? no. mom's taking my letter to jason to the mail tomorrow. i feel it in my gut that it's not going to change his feelings for me. do you think you would lose some friends if you gained 100 pounds? honestly, no. i feel that the friends i have now are more serious than that. when was the last time someone gave you a massage? i'm sure it hasn't been since jason and i dated and he'd give me one. when was the last time you were in an amazingly awesome mood? HA. is there something you need to get off your chest at the moment? there's a novel's worth. has the last person you kissed met your father? he has. i don't know how he feels about my dad since the divorce, though. he'd always have to hear me rant and cry about him. have you ever woke up crying from a bad dream? i have. have you ever had to block anyone online? plenty of times. have you ever made a boy cry? i sadly have. do you find guys with facial piercings attractive? generally. who was the last person to insult you to your face? colleen, kinda. what scares you more: snakes or spiders? spiders, i'm not scared of snakes. do you wear thongs? i never have. have you ever done yoga? i used to be amazing at it. many summers ago, i used wiifit to lose about 40 pounds. i mainly did yoga. i was super flexible. would you consider yourself a flirt? not in the slightest. do you have any friends who have an STD? i have a family member who does. are you thinner than your best friend? i am not. have you ever been prescribed narcotics? yeah, xanax and another for anxiety that i forgot... how many rings do you wear daily? just one. i want to repair the one jason gave me so i can wear that one again, too... i think i'll do that tonight or tomorrow. do you get car sick or motion sick easily? does it ever stop you doing things? i don't. did you ever dream of living in a house with a white picket fence? not really, no. after you go swimming, do you sit around in your wet bathing suit with a towel or do you immediately change? i usually sit around for a while. what was the last activity you did that made you sweat? i'm pretty sure i sweat very slightly just when i got the craft box out of the closet. because of my medication, literally everything makes me sweat... it's so embarrassing. when was the last time you used lotion? last time i shaved my legs. currently listening to? "tourniquet" by marilyn manson. just another song that makes me think of how i feel about jason in some ways. give us a lyric from this song. "take your hatred out on me, make your victim my head." besides your mouth, where is your favorite spot to get kissed? breasts or neck. ever jacked a dude off? were you even romantically involved with him? hey, when you "can't" have sex, you find the loopholes, sister. and yes, we were dating at the time. would you rather eat your pizza cold or hot? i'd rather it be hot, but cold's fine. have you ever had fake nails? i have not. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? no. it feels demeaning, honestly. does the person you like, like you back? no, he does not. do you believe ex’s can be friends? if you were deeply romantically involved? fuck no. do you like to text or call more? texting. calling is awkward imo and it's hard to understand the person, at least to me. when was the last time you really pushed yourself to your physical or emotional limits? what were you doing and how did it turn out? emotionally, right fucking now. colleen's decided to lecture me again, and i am a hair's width from just... i don't know. basically, it's taking stupendous amounts of emotional willpower to not go kill myself right now. i have HAD IT with her. i won't bore my survey tumblr readers with the full story. physically, probably the last time i went to the gym, i assume. what's your favorite saying or quote? why does it mean something special to you? how did you come across it? i answered this in a recent-ish survey. my favorite (series of) quote(s) takes place in the recent movie "Suicide Squad." a police asks harley quinn, "harleen, what did he tell you?" harley's cackling/crying and responds, "he said he loved me." i love the quote so much because i feel it. bit of villain backstory, harley quinn was driven mad by her boyfriend/former patient, and i'd consider myself to have been through the same (via his absence, anyway, but you get it). i started as jason's mentor, and i guarantee he'd tell you the same. then, without him intending it, i've become his fucking slave, shadow, and #1 fan all at once. i'd do it all for him. all because he said he was in love with me. powerful fucking words. don't abuse them, people. do you enjoy getting dressed up for a night out? what are your favorite places for a "night on the town"? i like getting dressed up for something that's bigger than usual, but i don't really have "nights out on the town." i don't do anything even remotely extravagant. what is your favorite classic disney film and why? does "the lion king" count? if so, that one. i can't exactly say why it's my favorite besides simba coming back from a tragedy as the king of the world pretty much, but i love that movie dearly. are you a good liar? under what circumstances do you choose to lie (just little white lies, or bigger ones)? have you ever regretted your choice to be less than truthful? honestly, when i do lie, i'm rarely caught. and i'll lie mainly to avoid hurting people, but i confess to sometimes doing it to just avoid confrontation. can you remember the first swear word you ever learned? no, but i remember the first one i said aloud: shit. i had no idea it was a bad word. got a massive lecture in the car. how old were you when you first started to wear make-up? do you prefer others with or without make-up? late middle school, i think. and i personally find make-uped faces more aesthetically pleasing, it's why there's such a problem in this world with women feeling ugly without it, but you're still absolutely beautiful without it, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. how long do you need to get to know someone, before you’d think about having a relationship with them? i don't measure that by time, i measure that by how well i'm getting to know them. is global warming actually happening? duh. does gpa determine a person's intelligence? no, fuck this question. do you refuse to talk about your sexuality? no. it's not a big deal to anyone. do you have a debit card? i do not. would you have an abortion if you would otherwise die in childbirth? no, because i'm not fucking selfish. do you think sleeping is a waste of time? yet you LOVE your dreams, even when they're kinda bad? i mean, it technically is a waste of time, but we need it regardless. what would you do if your boyfriend got snake bite piercings? that's totally up to him, i'd love him regardless. now whether or not i'd find it physically appealing just depends on the person. do you think it's at all possible you may change your religion in your life? i'm not going to bullshit. maybe. DO I THINK I WILL, NO, but do i rule out the possibility, no. after how pissed i've been at god lately, i wouldn't be entirely surprised if, in the worst case scenario, i became satanic. god please don't let me. if you were told that you were going to spend the rest of your life with the last person you kissed, would that make you happy? i would... oh my god. i would physically break down from joy. i would sob. i would bow and praise god beyond all explanation. i would fucking lose it. who was your first boy/girlfriend and do you still talk to them? if you want to count him as "the first person who had the 'boyfriend' title," aaron. and no, we don't. we're friends on facebook though. have you ever watched the big bang theory, or how about glee? i've watched and love tbbt, but i've never watched glee. are you considered a “clingy girlfriend?” i probably would be. do you have a large dog? she's pretty big, yeah. we have a boxer. would you ever date someone who watched cartoons? ... the fuck is this question?? no shit i would!! what was your last dream about? all i remember is it was the apocalypse and i was back with jason. he was there with me. we somehow survived, and demons took over the world after the humans were eliminated. everyone was trying to be heroes and such by killing them. have you ever seen a crocodile in real life? i know i've seen alligators, don't know about crocs. if you were drunk and couldn’t walk, would the person you have feelings for, take care of you? i kinda feel like he would if he was already there, anyway. he wouldn't like drive somewhere to come watch me, but if he was already there, i'd at least hope he'd be kinda protective... has anyone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? not only that i didn't want to hear, but didn't need to hear, too. tell me again my mental illness is invalid, swear to fuck. why were you last scared? i'm scared of myself now. do you know a secret about your last ex that would embarrass them? something potentially might, but i doubt it. i'd never share the information though regardless. were you a hyper or mellow kid? i was quite hyper. i miss that. what’s your favorite movie? burton's "alice in wonderland" do you hate it when everyone you know is sleeping in, so you are bored? ha ha, sometimes. how much of your time to do you spend being bored? what could cure that boredom? honestly... almost 24/7. i've talked about this before: jason left and took my hobbies with him. because they feel "bad." i take no pleasure in what i used to enjoy, like games, drawing, reading... i honestly think the only thing that'll heal that is spending time with jason himself. what are your least favorite kind of people? people that think mental illness isn't fucking valid is what i feel most hatred towards at the moment. describe an orgasm. (just do it, nobody will judge you here.) hahahaha omg the person before me answered "god will judge me," i love that. anyway, i wouldn't know. are you a picky eater? beyond so. are you hopelessly addicted to the computer? i mean i guess you could say that, as i'm always on... would you ever take nakey pictures of yourself? maybe for my husband??? what cause (feminism, gay rights, abortion, etc) are you most passionate about? abortion does your best friend have any piercings? ears, and... i think nose. omg i feel horrible, i'm not sure. what's better: an apology to your face or a nice apology letter? an apology to your face. has anyone ever kissed you when you REALLY weren't expecting it? was it a good random kiss, or a bad random kiss? i don't think so, but it's possible... what is the last thing you got a blister from? i got one from my flip-flop rubbing against the side of my toe. do you remember the song that used to be really popular, 'she will be loved'? I DON'T MIIIND SPENDIN' EV-ER-EE-DAAAAAY, OUT ON YOUR CORNER IN THE POURIN' RAAAAIIIIN do you have any friends who have never seen you makeup-free? i don't. what is the worst thing that could happen to you? the worst thing that could happen to me already happened. do you think age matters in friendship? in friendships, absolutely not. are you more likely to eat when you’re bored or depressed? i wouldn't be overweight otherwise. describe the nearest photograph to you? it's jason and i at our first prom. we're peeking at each other from around the tree. do you know anyone who has overdosed? i know of people, but i know none directly. well wait... my half-sister overdosed, but didn't die as she called the cops in time. the person you have feelings for says he/she wants to have sex, you say? ... i would. kfc or popeye’s? i don't like fried chicken. what was the name of the last pet of yours that died? link, my former rat. have you ever had to evacuate from a natural disaster? thank god, no. do you have any family members who are cancer survivors? quite a few, actually. my mom survived kidney cancer, my grandma lived through thyroid cancer i believe it was, and i think an aunt of mine had breast cancer. when was the last time you went way out of your comfort zone? what happened as a result? uhhh i guess when i told my former boss i had to quit, and what happened is obvious. is working with animals something you enjoy? how about working with people? what would be your ideal work environment? well, it's become clear i can't work with people. i've had two jobs in retail, and each time, i vomited from the anxiety and when i wasn't vomiting, i was living in constant panic mode. i haven't had a job with animals yet, but that's what i'm looking for. the ideal job would just be where i work on my own... do you have any favorite stuffed toys? oh yeah. i have a stuffed meerkat named rebel from jason, and my stuffed moose named brownie is very dear to me too. would you ever get any private parts pierced? heeeell no. do you agree with medication to treat mental illnesses or do you believe that they are a ‘stage’ that a person will grow out of? mental. illnesses. need. to be. MEDICATED. just like a person with asthma needs an inhaler, a mentally ill person needs medication, too!! do you ever get really paranoid about how loud you’re breathing? i do occasionally, yes. have you ever met a person who was convinced they had supernatural powers? i "met" a woman who thought she was jesus christ, the mother mary, and god all in one person while in the mental hospital... she scared THE FUCK out of me. what're you thinking of RIGHT THIS MINUTE? i actually just started thinking of jason's sick grandma outta nowhere a few seconds ago... and now i feel sad. she was definitely dying while we were dating, so i guess she's gone now... she was a sweet lady, despite not saying much. she seemed to like me enough. what is your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? okay, i know casual sex is gaining popularity, but me? dude, FUCK that. sex is supposed to be a very emotional and connecting experience. it's not "just for fun" and shouldn't occur everytime you feel horny with someone or whatever. what are you doing right now? doing this survey, possibly talking to jax if she's still online, and listening to "slo-mo-tion" by marilyn manson. what books, if any, have made you cry? that i can remember, "the notebook," "a walk to remember," "old yeller," and i think i teared up in "the giver." there was also this one book about an elderly couple we read in high school, but i cannot remember the name... i remember tearing up. are you picky about spelling and grammar? very much so. song you REALLY wanna fuck to? okay, if it's with jason, i do plan on deliberately trying to woo him into having sex to "heart-shaped glasses" by marilyn manson because uh... this is terrible... but it reminds me of his ex because she always wore heart-shaped glasses and i fucking hate her for MANY reasons and idk it'd just kinda feel like a huge "fuck you" to her lmao. yes i am a child somewhere in my heart. just to add to it, when i get sunglasses, yeah... i found heart-shaped glasses on rebel's market and i want them. if you could have sex with anyone, who would it be? it'd still be jason. sorry, link neal. do your hands shake a lot? well, i have an essential tremor that's only gotten worse over the years, so. the mere thought of anyone ever made you... you know... "moist"... downstairs? omfg do you really have to say that word this question bothers me lmao. but yeah. i like dirty questions, let's continue! do you masturbate? if not, why? also if not... what's the most tempted you've ever felt? you know you have at least once! i do not masturbate because i personally find it disgustingly lustful and gross, no matter how clean you may be. i've been tempted before once, sure. i had a really hard time one night kinda recently when i was thinking rather sexually of jason, but i did nothing about it. do you get crazy sex hair? i wouldn't know, but i've had some pretty wild hair from doing sexual things. my hair was super long when we were together. is everything going to be okay? i am the wroooong person to ask. have you ever had a pet rat? four so far, yeah. do you like free samples? who doesn't?! have you ever made yourself look like a fool for love? i'm pretty sure i always do nowadays. to be so obsessed with your ex-boyfriend... it's silly. who was the last person you slow danced with? jason... long time ago... has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? i'm pretty sure no. at concerts, are you one of those people that push and shove their way to the front, or are you one of the those people that gets there hours before in order to ensure that you get a front-row position; or do you just suck it up and stand wherever you can? i've only been to one, at which i sucked it up and stood wherever i could. did you ever like jewel? like one song anyway, but she has an absolutely heavenly voice. when watching scary movies/hearing scary stories/etc, what subject scares you the most? when women are raped by demons. just. let's not. do you think marilyn manson looks good? ha ha how funny, i'm actually listening to him right now!! but anyway, VERY rarely, honestly. in some pictures/videos he looks pretty appealing.

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