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winchester-reload · 1 year

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I have a few thoughts about the Winchesters finale, and though I wasn’t gonna weigh in on this, it turns out I needed to write this down to get it out of my head, so here we go.

I understand that Misha was approached to be included on the show and that there was a “scheduling conflict” that included multiple conversations with Jensen. Here’s my interpretation of that:

I believe Cas was supposed to make a cameo in episode 13 to tee up the confession resolution—this was always the episode where they were going to crack open the “surprise twist” even before learning they would only get 13 episodes total. In the original scenario, episode 13 would have been the hellatus episode rather than a finale, leaving room for everything to come to a head with episode 22 instead. It’s then they would have given us the actual Dean and Cas reunion. This would have wrapped both stories nicely with each group going off into their own respective sunsets—their own happy endings, while still leaving all the room for the new crew to explore more seasons; all along, we see, The Winchesters was about Dean and Cas as much as it was about Mary and John.

When they didn’t get the back half of the season picked up, I assume they feared it would be more dangerous to show a Cas cameo without getting to address the confession, so Misha likely opted to be left out instead. With the only hint to Cas being Dean’s line that he was looking for his family when he found the Akrida, then directly drawing the parallel that Jack and Bobby were “family.” The core crew for Dean has always been Bobby, Sam, Jack, AND Cas. And he wasn’t looking for Sam because he was still on earth. So who’s left? You might be compelled to believe he was window shopping AU versions of his parents, but he confirms he ran into the Akrida in this world and then sought to interfere with the order by approaching John in an effort to prevent it from spreading to Sam's world. (Why Cas would be AU hopping, idk. The boy is really afraid of being shot down, I guess.)

It goes far to explain the vast narrative parallels we saw reflected in the Monster Club crew if it was intended as a setup for the confession payoff. It honestly doesn’t make a lot of sense otherwise. There’s no reason these people should be living Dean's experiences and regrets every episode unless the writers wanted the viewer to be thinking about the lessons and resolutions in how they relate to Dean too.

Additionally, as this has been a largely uncontested take, this is Jensen's well-funded fanfic come to life. Complete with the embracing of many of our favorite fanfic tropes and emphasized by Dean’s own words throughout the season. Because this is an obvious embrace of that “write your own story” fan side, I believe the reason Dean couldn’t even say Cas’ name in the episode is because they were going to change the spelling from “Cass” as it was in the show proper to the fan-adopted (and more accurate) spelling of “Cas,” which would have appeared in the subtitles and later the script pages. And even that little thing right there would have been a huge giveaway to the whole game. And a very dangerous thing to do if there wasn’t going to be enough time for follow-through.

But the truth is, this isn’t a game for many people, and the harm that can be caused by good intentions is just as real. It also begs the question: why should this be so difficult? The answer is it’s not. Edging forever isn’t fun. It’s torture. I understand there’s an art to storytelling, but your audience is weary, and trust has been violated too many times. Even still, the flip side of that coin is honest to god respect for DeanCas endgame means taking the story and the reveal seriously. It’s a tightrope walk. And one that Robbie somehow managed to keep balanced after the finale, without it falling either way. Also we also need to consider the possibility that Jensen did pitch a full-on destiel love story spin-off but got shot down, opting to couch it in a more CW-branded world instead. He’s mentioned over half a dozen pitches were rejected. It's up to you whether you want to give him the benefit of the doubt on that.

But, I’m gonna be honest here, I don’t know that we will ever get that resolution we crave. Even Robbie confirmed The Winchesters were always meant to “go it alone” after the first season. It’s hard to imagine Dean popping in there to fuck around again after that handoff. But the dude is clearly a very restless sea-faring*, swoopy-haired mofo right now, so I’ll leave that one up to the SPN multiverse and the new Mr. Superwholock’s magical universe-traveling impala. (This show used to be about what again? *looks at notes*.) And FWIW, if they do get green-lit for a whole second season or are allowed to move networks, I believe a good-faith effort will be made to tie the narrative parallels we saw in season one to some real Dean and Cas resolution. If there gets to be a world where John *might* not turn into an abusive dick, then this possibility has to be true too.

For the record, I enjoyed The Winchesters, all the new characters, and the doors the finale opened for the possibility of more. I would have been fine half-watching it with no promises, empty head no thoughts, but I got my clown** suit on again, and though I mostly kept quiet, unlike last time, I did regrettably manage to drag a few friends down with me yet again. Though the spec sessions were epic, and we did get some art out of it—it still rocks the boat when the base level expectations were only 1. Dean alive, and 2. seeing Cas again.

But for anyone, like me, upset by the (likely unintentional) Cas-baiting or anyone still reeling about why this stuff can hit so hard, here’s an interesting article about the way our brains respond to fictional characters. Tl;dr: There’s nothing wrong with you. This is science. And while you’re at it, take a look at this article about the very real power of disenfranchised grief over character loss.

Ramble on, fam. And take care of yourselves.

<3 Jackie

*Um hi he appears as a sailor? Literally, on a show with a story Dean is writing whose audience is looking for a resolution to a conversation between two people who’re famously the “most shipped” characters of all time? That’s not an accident. That’s intentional. And it’s another reason why there might be a bitter taste in your mouth. These nods came without resolution, so it still feels dirty, despite the brilliant Easter egg.

**I hesitate to say “clown” here because the lesson on episode 12 was that the clowns were the ones who chose a self-induced limbo rather than face some personal hard revelations. That sounds more like a certain closeted character than it does the people cheering him on, and that felt like an intentional nod too.

***obviously, this is my own rambling spec as I try to reorder my thoughts in the wake of the finale.

#the winchesters #destiel #spnwin #jackie's talking #meta #finale thoughts #my art

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thisismysecondrodeo · 2 years

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new au idea, maybe? jk. no, i'm not. yes i am. unless...

AN: Wrote this directly in response so please forgive any typos!

Rating: Teen

Tags: RPF, AFAB!reader, One-Shot, implied sex, fluff

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“Dude what the hell happened last night, you totally bailed. We were supposed to get drinks to celebrate your new job and I didn’t hear from you at all!”

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, you’re right,” you spoke softly into your phone, sliding out of your bed to continue the conversation. You started a pot of coffee and yawned. “Well…long story short, I didn’t get the job.”

“What?! You were a shoo-in! Explain.”

So you did.

You hadn’t planned on needing a new nanny-ing gig—you adored the family you worked with—but they had decided to move to Montana of all places and you just couldn’t leave New York. They were rather attached to you too but completely understood, and mentioned they might have a referral for you: a friend of theirs who had recently gotten divorced and had primary custody of his two kids. You asked them to pass along your info, you really needed the work after all, and you and the dad connected by email and then by phone.

You had told your friend Lauren about him since she had been helping you look for new jobs and she seemed to think there was something a little flirty about you and your potential boss, Jason Sudeikis.

“I mean this is kind of a long interview process…”

“They’re his kids. He’s just being thorough.”

“Okay, but I’ve also never seen you laugh so much at an email.”

“What?! Okay, so he’s charming, how is that a bad thing?”

It only got worse once she looked him up on LinkedIn and saw that he was certified DILF. You would never admit it to her, but you had to agree.

After a few conversations, a peek at your references, and some scheduling mishap you were finally set to meet him and the kids in person, to make sure it was a fit. It was the last hurdle between you and a new gig, and despite Lauren’s suggestion, it had been nothing but professional so far.

You got there and truly had a wonderful time. Jason was just as charming in person, the kids were friendly and talkative but polite, and as you left the older kid asked when they would see you again which felt like a good sign. Everything seemed to fall into place. The little voice in the back of your head may have called you out on how often you caught the dad’s eye, how he seemed to smile a little brighter when he caught you looking. And maybe you had gravitated a little too close, told a few too many jokes that were more for dad than the kids but he had laughed and so had you. Maybe it would work out.

“Dude, I don’t understand.” Lauren interrupted your story and you took that moment to doctor your cup of coffee up with cream and sugar. “How did you not get the job after all that?”

“Well, let me finish! So…”

You had only been home an hour or so when you got a call.

“Hello?”

“Hey this is, uh, Mr. Sudeikis. I was calling to talk to you about the nanny job.”

“Oh sure! I had a great time today.”

“Yeah we did too,” he said a little sadly and your gut immediately fell. “I hate to say this because obviously you’ve got great references, and you’re kind of everything I’d been looking for, but I can’t offer you the job.”

“Oh,” you couldn’t hide the surprise in your tone. “Can I ask why not?”

“Of course, it turns out there’s a, well, a conflict of interest.”

“I see.” You wanted to push further, find out more, but you were already a little sad about it so you decided to just accept it and not take it personally. “Well, if you know anyone else looking for a nanny, please send them my way.”

“Absolutely, thanks again Y/N.”

You took the phone away from your ear about to text Lauren to change celebratory drinks to consolation drinks when your phone rang again, same number.

“Uh, hello?”

“Hi, Y/N? This is Jason.”

He said it as if the two of you hadn’t literally just spoken. “Jason, as in Jason Sudeikis?”

“Yep, that’d be the one. Listen, I was calling to ask if you’d like to go to dinner with me.” He said it incredibly seriously and you couldn’t help but laugh. He was doing a bit.

“What? Why?”

“Well, like I said earlier, you’re kind of everything I’ve been looking for.”

You couldn’t help but blush. “So the coonflict of interest…?”

“Was me being interested in you. No pressure though, I meant it when I said I’d refer you to some other people, regardless of if you'd like to go to dinner with me. Unfortunately this job won't work out because I am just…very into you.”

You paused, and thought about it, but couldn’t deny that the chance to potentially build something with Jason was more exciting than the job opportunity.

“Well then..yeah, I’m free for dinner.”

“Great. And, uh, if you happen to know any nannies that are just as good with kids as you are but significantly less attractive… And less funny... And maybe a little dumber to be honest with you, I would appreciate it.”

You laughed. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Okay, very hot, very fun and flirty, thrilled for you!! But what happened between your dinner date and our drinks, we still could have….ohhhh my god you slept with him! You bagged the DILF?!”

You were laughing at Lauren’s surprise when you heard your sheets rustling in your bedroom. You got down a mug and poured a second cup of coffee.

“Hey, I gotta go, we’ll talk about this later I swear. We will go get drinks tonight. Promise, promise, promise.”

“Okay but you owe me details!”

You agreed and hung up before taking both mugs into the bedroom. Jason grinned at you, his tousled bedhead making you giggle. You sat your coffee on the nightstand and offered him his, which he accepted with his left hand while using his right hand to tug you on top of him by the waist.

“‘Mornin, sweetheart.”

“Mmm, morning,” you responded with a kiss, fully straddling his lap and tucking your arms around his bare chest. “How long have you been awake?”

“Long enough to hear you bagged the DILF, way to go.” He smirked at you, taking a sip of his coffee before sitting it down and holding up his hand for a high-five. Even though you were absolutely mortified, you high-fived him anyway and laughed into the crook of his neck.

#jason sudeikis #jason sudeikis fanfic #jason sudeikis x reader #jason sudeikis x yn #jason sudeikis fic #jason sudeikis reader insert #jason sudeikis fan fic #jason sudeikis fan

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ask-retale · 4 months

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Remix au still living rent free in my head... Especially Reaper

I'm taking A LOT of liberties, especially with Dream and Nightmare. I know they are the guardians of positive and negative emotions, and that could be construed to mean "positive = happy" or " negative = sad" but that's kinda vague. So, I'm looking at negative emotions to be emotional extreme that results in harm while positive emotions are appropriate feelings at a level that is appropriate for the situation and does not ultimately result in harm to the person.

Anyway.... possible background lore

Nightmare decided to make a deal with Ink. He needed the excess of emotions to survive, but he himself could not create situations where those emotions would be formed. However, Ink was able to directly interfere and inspire. The artist could influence how the worlds unfolds. The ability to absorb excess emotions of the worlds inhabitants for the ability to directly inspire or interfere seemed like a fair trade. Ink would no longer be reliant upon the creators whims or fear his paint would run dry. Nightmare already knew what can cause emotions to run out of control, and now he can ensure those conflicts would occur. The deal was struck and the corruption and ink fused before being distributed between the two beings.

The deal between Dream and Error was unexpected. Error's inception was what broke his sanity. He was suppose to be a destroyer of worlds, releasing the magic of the aus that had stagnated or concluded so it could be reused. But his hatred blinded him to the true nature of the destruction, so he destroyed anything he deemed a glitch or anomaly on a whim. Dream and Error's paths only crossed because Dream sustained himself on emotional equilibrium and Error often disrupt this balance. At some point Dream realized that Error could manipulate codes and was in direct contact with creators... Perhaps he did not have to maintain emotional equilibrium alone and an idea formed. Dream proposed a deal, a piece of his soul could help stabilize Error's madness and sooth his wild emotions for the ability to manipulate codes...

When Error finally agreed to the exchange, everything seemed to be getting better. Error used his connection to the creators and ability to read code helped bring stability to more worlds, faster than Dream could ever accomplish. However, all things must return to an equilibrium. Dream began to experience an unexplainable push. An urge... A rabid compulsion to end aus. After all, ending a world, a story, prevented the possibility of harm or change. TLDR - Error, Ink, Nightmare and Dream more or less swap roles in pursuit of their original goals.... But in a fun twist. I'd probably say Nightmare is the god of conflict. Conflict pushes the stories to continue since it is what drives a story and the characters emotion. Ink is the guardian of emotions, harnessing the extreme emotions to create his ink, which offers reprieve to those suffering from the extremes of their emotions. Dream is the god of endings, since he's manipulating code to create resolutions and "happy" endings. Those resolutions result in a conclusions and then he is compelled to completely destroy the au. Error becomes the guardian of stories, probably after coming to terms with the actions he took while suffering from his madness. He helps the creators cope and explore their emotions talking to them about all the different possible things they can explore. Though I bet he's probably still a man child while offering his thoughts.

I also don't know what error looks like yet.

#concept art #utmv #nightmare sans #doodle #ink sans #dream sans #reaper sans #remix au #error sans #was this even english??? I've been so exhausted this could be word salad

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leogichidaa · 1 year

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Psychoanalysis Analysis #38

Non-magical AU where Regulus is put in therapy with a psychoanalyst

Part 1 | Previous | Next

"I wrote to Sirius and I told him that if he left the family like Andromeda did then I would never forgive him. He wrote back and told me that he doesn't care what I think because I am just a stupid suck up without an original thought in my head. So it was exactly as pointless as I thought it would be to tell him that I did not want him to leave. What a terrible idea."

"I see," Dr. Robertson says. "Did you tell him that you do not want him to leave, though?"

"What on Earth do you mean?" Regulus asks, perplexed. "I just told you that I did. I wrote to him especially to tell him that."

"You said that you would never forgive him if he left, but I must have missed the part where you told him that you do not want him to leave."

Regulus gives the analyst an indignant look. "It is the same thing!"

"I am not sure that it is."

"Of course it is. Why would I refuse to forgive him unless I did not want him to do it in the first place?"

"Would it not be easier and more effective to say it directly, though?"

Regulus stares at the analyst. He feels as though they are speaking a different language. "I did tell him directly."

"You told him directly you don't want him to leave your family? That you want him to stay?"

"Yes, of course," Regulus says slowly. "When I told him that he would never be forgiven if he left. How much more direct could I possibly be?"

"Perhaps by saying the words 'I want you to stay'?"

Regulus shook his head. "He does not care what I want anyway, he said so himself. He is going to do whatever he likes, just as he always does, without any concern for how it makes me feel."

"Hmm," Dr. Robertson says, leaning back in his chair. "If you were so sure that it would be pointless, why did you do it?"

Regulus throws up his hands in exasperation. "You told me to!"

"I presented an argument in favor of telling him how you feel, which I am still not entirely convinced you did. But you did try to. Why?"

Regulus kicks at his chair leg moodily and pouts. "Apparently, it is because I am a stupid suck up without an original thought in my head. I do what everyone tells me to do and I cannot even do it right."

"No, I am not convinced of that, either."

Regulus looks up at the analyst, unamused. "Would it not be easier and more effective to tell me directly what you think?"

Dr. Robertson grins. "Easier, yes. More effective? I am not sure."

Regulus rolls his eyes. "I thought it might work. I thought by some miracle Sirius would not be Sirius and he would care about what I have to say, but that was a very stupid thought."

"I do not think that is a stupid thought."

"Of course you do not, it was your thought."

Dr. Robertson laughs. "I may have prompted the thought, but I cannot take full credit. You do, after all, have original thoughts."

"Are you certain about that, doctor?"

"Quite. Your life would have a great deal less conflict if you did not, I am certain."

Regulus sighs. "Sounds nice."

"There is certainly an appeal to conformity," Dr. Robertson agrees. "But I believe your thought is worth exploring. Tell me how you imagined Sirius would react. What would a miracle look like?"

Regulus frowns and thinks about it. Truthfully, while he was writing the letter, he spent more time thinking about how awful and aggravating Sirius was and how unfair it was that he had to deal with such a disaster of a brother than he had thinking about Sirius' response.

"I suppose he would write and tell me that he would of course never leave me and he had just said that to be cruel. And perhaps tell me he was sorry for making me worry over it. But he would never say something like that."

"Would you ever say something like that?"

"Of course I would, if I had said something awful to him."

Dr. Robertson raises his eyebrows and stares at Regulus with an uncomfortable intensity. Regulus does his best not to squirm under his gaze. He knows exactly what the analyst is getting at, but he refuses to meet the man halfway.

When the analyst finally asks, "Did you apologize for saying that you hoped he would leave?" Regulus is prepared.

"He said something awful to me first. So it is his fault that I was angry and said that in the first place and he should be the first to apologize."

"Maybe," Dr. Robertson says. "But the world isn't always fair. And if you want your interactions with Sirius to be different, you might have to be the one to change."

Regulus pouts again and swallows the childish urge to say "But that's not fair." or "I don't want to." He tries to come up with a better, more mature response, and finally settles on, "That is stupid."

#psychoanalysis sunday #regulus black #the call of systems work is so strong for the house of black #the real Dr. Robertson was a big proponent of attachment therapy btw #he was telling people 'you have to consistently show your children affection' back when that was a controversial stance

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lavenoon · 1 year

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Hi! :D *Gets out my notepad* So, for AU AU AU, after the incident in which Sun scared Robin, we have some instances in which we see how it stayed with them for a long time, aside from just thinking that Sun fakes any beyond professional friendliness towards them (like in one of the alternate reveals when he inisists Robin quits due to being stabbed a second time and Robin flinches, and Sun says directly he knows he scares them). We also have the other alternate reveal that mirror’s Moon’s best scenario, but instead of pillows to the face, y/n’s first instinct is to run out of the room and get the toy gun, (which I mean obviously not too threatening or meant to hurt XD but I think it’s telling they felt the need to have something to shoot with and are willing to go the whole way to get it, when with Moon the nearby pillows were enough). The first stabbing did show them he could drop the super serious act and be caring, even if they didn’t know how to interpret his panic at the time and probably tried not to look into it. The scare was also bad enough for Robin to always question what is a ruse and what is not with Sun. My question is, how much is Robin actually wary or scared of him? Is it a “I trust you with my life in the field but as soon as we’re alone I’m not taking my eyes off you”, a “actually I’m fine with you around most of the time but if I’m reminded of that particular moment I’m keeping my distance and getting jumpy”, or “dude you are terrifying but so am I, and if that is part of the competition then so be it” or maybe something else? We know he gets a lot more touchy post reveal haha, so I wanted to sort of know how much they need to work on that particular aspect of building the relationship. (Not me researching characters to get them exactly right fdjgfhgfjg)

If I had popcorn I would've eaten it reading along with this gfhdjs I love analysis!!

The scare was a mix of things! First of all, on a professional level, the thing even reverse Robin is still proudest of, their rival could do in a suit and loafers. That rankles. This was supposed to be their high ground, the thing he can't take from them, the thing still guaranteeing their top spot. So it fills their rivalry with a lot more tension, because Robin now works twice as hard to ensure he won't leave them behind, while also still unaware that Dawn is working in a team.

They aren't scared of him on that level - they know Dawn sticks to the rules of the agency, and would never seriously harm them without them starting it, and they don't plan on that because they value their job, too. They trust him to do his job - and at times, that job includes looking out for them (and vice versa). It's nothing personal, so they trust it.

Because on a personal level? They pretty much assume he can't stand them, actually. They're fully ready to admit that's their own fault for provoking him, but they also are convinced there's no coming back from that, and, frankly, if he wants to be like that, they don't intend to fix something that he has no interest in anyways.

Which leads to the subconscious level - because with time, Robin does start liking Dawn, and trusting him on a personal level, too. But they are so convinced that he dislikes them that they can't even admit that trust to themself, because that would make them a sucker. They're already the smaller, human agent who struggles to keep up with him. They don't want to also be the person stuck in a one sided friendship, too.

Dawn, of course, also is an idiot! When these conflicting feelings make Robin flinch or hesitate more and more with time, he interprets that as them getting even more scared, and everyone misses each other's signals or misinterprets them.

It's a bit of a mess all around! Which is why for these two, the reveal is absolutely necessary to help them relax around each other. They need to not work when they talk, meet each other off the clock, where that whole factor isn't important, and they can mend that personal bridge at their own pace <3

#answer let luce #chaotikanvas #accidentally undercover #AU AU AU #ofc it's not helping that he's tall af and they know just how intimidating he can be #but they *are* a secret agent too #it's not fear of what he might do to them or anything #just plain old fear of rejection again #as it always is with these idiots FGHDJ #get them right you say tho huh #insert all seeing eye emoji

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monstersinthecosmos · 2 years

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thoughts about s1e1

I’ve watched the episode three times hahaha I wanna write down some thoughts to get it out of my head before episode 2 drops tomorrow ashdjglasd (how am I supposed to live like this or 7 weeks haha)

But something I really enjoyed in the episode that I've been thinking about a lot is that Every. Single. Interaction. between Louis and Lestat is so full of coercion lmao. He's fucken relentless.

It’s like a feast to watch. From the moment they meet, Lestat is negging him and emasculating him, and the first time they talk Lestat is already Mind Gifting him. Louis describes it as being “immobilized.”

But wait, let me say something else before I get into this lol.

One of the complaints I have about the show currently is that I think it doesn’t really know if it expects the viewer to show up with book/movie knowledge. (Remind me later to mention a few parts where it specifically seems to comment on the movie even though they keep claiming they're separating from it.) Like as much as we’ve all identified this as an AU fanfic, it truly does seem to have some storytelling beats of fanfiction, in that fanfiction utilizes different writing skills when it comes to character development and world building. There are several moments in the episode where it feels like they expect us to just know who Lestat is and accept that Loustat is the ship we’re here for.

And like, it’s tricky with this specific story because the name is on the tin, like there’s no ambiguity or mystery about the fact that Lestat is a vampire and yet they still try to fold in some moments of spookiness to let us know he’s not a regular person. And tbh it doesn’t really add anything to story. Louis isn’t bothered by it and mentions being okay with being told that Lestat will explain it later. It shows us that he's unbothered at times for his sake, but the scene with the lamplighter for example is not Louis's POV and is for the sake of the audience? To? Let us know that Lestat is a vampire? Which kinda blunts the reveal that he's eating the priest at the end? idk I don't really get it.

And in some ways I don’t think they do a great job and showing us WHY these two like each other, they kind of just expect us to buy it. But the two big clues I see that they try to spell out for us is that Lestat sees Louis as a violent man who has a secret inner personality (like he must have heard Louis whispering to Paul in the street before pulling the knife on him) and then the threesome specifically makes a point to begin and end with Nicki’s music box. From canon we know that Louis assumed Lestat was using him for his money which isn't relevant in this version, and Lestat claimed it was love @ first sight bc Louis reminded him of Nicki. Positioning Nicki into their sex scene like this kinda tells me that we’re still going with “saw a stranger who reminded me of my ex that I am grieving a lot” and it tracks with the way he stares directly at Louis as he says “a boy of infinite beauty and sensitivity.”

As far as what Louis sees in Lestat? They set it up immediately to let us know he’s conflicted, wanted to slash his throat, felt humiliated, etc. It’s hard to know exactly what he sees except that he’s found someone he can be himself around and he feels accepted. Aww lol.

But the gaslighting here is just IMMEDIATE like it opens with a racist comment, only to then have Lestat remind him of it during the poker game. He doesn’t take Louis’s side against those men except to help him cheat. In some ways he’s constantly reminding Louis of his own superiority and goes out of his way to make Louis feel even smaller than he already does.

So like, trying to build any sense of suspense about what Lestat is kind of falls flat to me when Louis isn’t concerned about it, especially coming from a man as insecure as he is, and it makes me wonder how much of it is Mind Gifting. The fact that Lestat fucks with his mind IMMEDIATELY and would know everything Louis is thinking just sets him up as a perfect victim.

And it kinda brings me to a point I wanna also mention later but, the way they interact here COMPLETELY changes the entire theme of vampirism representing outsiders that we get in VC and that Anne spoke about frequently. Between Lestat & Louis’s interactions in the past and Daniel & Louis’s interactions in the present we are told all the ways that Louis and Daniel feel small, feel insecure, feel shame, and it frames vampirism as a way out of shame and a way to be powerful. It really really changes the dynamic between them; in the book Louis agrees because he’s suffering intense grief and sees it as a means of penance, in the show he’s continuously being teased and negged and needs the power to escape the life he created.

He even describes it to Daniel as seduction.

Another thing I didn’t love, and this is kind of related to whether or not we’re supposed to show up knowing the story, is the pacing kinda felt all over the place. There’s a few moments they ask you to sit with for a long time (opening scene with Daniel is one) while rushing through the next. Like we spent a lot of time seeing Daniel’s life, going so far as to OPEN THE EPISODE with this e-course ad, only to jump to Dubai and jump into the interview almost immediately. I still don’t understand why they’re doing a second interview LOL. But it feels same with the way they gloss over Louis & Lestat dating. They give us enough for both situations to like, UNDERSTAND, like, I get that Daniel and Louis met 40 years ago and wanna do another interview, and I get that Lestat and Louis spent a lot of time together, but. I want to SEE this. I want to know what Louis & Lestat did and talked about to get to know each other. We see the end result but we don’t get to see the meat of it, like. Is Lestat ever sincere with him? Do they ever have conversations where Lestat isn’t gaslighting him? I feel like they’ve put a ton of stock into Loustat as a central subject of the show but spent more time with them making out than they did showing us how they got to know each other and IDK MAN I JUST, I KINDA LIKE STUFF LIKE THAT LOL. I would’ve liked to see it to understand them better. I see that they’re into each other and I’m supposed to buy it, okay, but, I want to know why lol. The show is only interested in showing us moments where Lestat is misbehaving and Louis doesn’t like him.

Because then like, they skip over weeks of courting and the next time we get them together is the family dinner. And this too, like. The tantrum Lestat has in the middle?

I was REALLY distracted during this scene in particular in the fact that Lestat is 150 YEARS OLD LMFAO. I’m still waiting to figure out if he’s had a big sleep or not bc that might change the dynamic; if he’s been asleep for 100 years maybe he’s still a young man at heart. But this age change makes this entire scene SO fucking sinister to me haha.

I’m not sure how to feel about his powers because the show has made up their own lore, but like, obviously in the books you gain these powers over time. Idk how it relates to this time freeze thing since it’s a show invention. But it’s creepy as fuck that he lets Louis watch. If it was something he had to get off his chest for a moment, he had the choice to freeze Louis as well. But he wanted Louis to see that. The way he immediately snaps back into being charming to Louis’s family is so fucked up hahaha. Sam Reid I think in the BTS had said something like how Lestat knows how to behave and how to misbehave and it’s perfect right here. He knows exactly what he’s doing, even in a moment where he needs to have an angry outburst.

SO NOW WE’RE UP TO THE SEXYPART WHICH IS VERY INTERSTING TO ME. It again opens with their walk to Lestat’s with Lestat reminding him of his own shame, leading into Lestat asking for a nightcap and Louis telling him he’s already too drunk. And it’s like DOES IT MEAN SOMETHIGN that he says no AS he’s walking towards Lestat?

There’s something that feels deliberate about the way the shot is framed, seeing both of them and the way Lestat is stepping backwards to lure him, and Louis is going right to him. (Recall the end of the episode leading to the church how Lestat is saying Come to me over and over.) Louis is already drunk when he agrees to come up and Lestat even pours him another drink inside.

I’m also curious if this is the same way Louis continues unbuttoning his vest even as he’s saying to Lestat “how’d you do that?” They make a point to show the way his and Lestat’s movements are in sync with each other. It reminded me of when he meets Santiago except now it makes me wonder if it’s the other way around, if Lestat is the one controlling Louis here, suggesting these things to him even as he’s alarmed.

Louis is SO vulnerable here, and the thing is that Lestat knows it. And I think there’s a few ways to read this scene, I don’t think it’s definitely noncon/dubcon but it came off that way to me on the second viewing. The way Louis’s body goes limp when they levitate in the air calls me back to being immobilized. Like maybe he’s just feeling the SWOON that hard but like, how are you letting a man drink your blood and heal your neck wound AND YOU’RE STILL NOT REALLY CONCERNED ABOUT IT?????????????

Like Lestat must have made it so, right? I don’t understand how a clever businessman who can READ PEOPLE and who profits off of people’s addiction and sin and is in the business of selling bodies wouldn’t BE CONCERNED LOL. I don’t care how insecure he is! I just feel idk we’re pushing it here, unless we can accept that Lestat is mind controlling him, and in that case I need to watch this entire scene and wonder how much he’s being mind controlled. How many of Louis’s actions are of his own volition? If he initiates the kiss, did he really? It really calls everything about them into question.

(ALSO this is the point I wanna come back to about commenting on the movie like, I don't recall it being a thing that you like kiss & bite people and float in the books, this feels specifically like a fuck you to the film to be like OH OH WELL THIS TIME THEY'RE NAKED! lol like is this gonna happen all the time, I'm yelling LOL. )

So then he’s getting ready to leave and he’s thinking like, I can’t do this, I’m gonna put this out of my mind, this never happened, etc, and Lestat is right there listening to it. Lestat heard all those mean things you just said LOL!! Unbelieve.

We get a time jump here and we know that at least two weeks go by. We know Louis ghosted him. At some point Lestat kills Lily (Louis’s like, only friend aside from Paul? Who he can hang out with and feel comforted?) and it’s such a blatant way to isolate him. Now you can’t go to Lily, you have to come to me. And we get to see this quality time with Paul at the wedding, and WHAT HAPEPNS NEXT?

Paul knows that Lestat has the Mind Gift lol, of course no one is gonna believe him, but Louis is like lol oh shit. And they have a nice wedding, and a lovely sunrise together, and a nice convo, and Paul just ??? Very calmly walks off the roof?????

Since vampires don’t have death sleep when the sun is up, it means Lestat could be AWAKE! Like y’all I think he killed Paul lol. He’s pouting in his coffin and his mind is across town making this happen. Even if that’s extravagant I think we still can get enough like Hannibal/Miggs mindfuckery if it was a seed Lestat planted earlier.

And it leads us now to Lestat approaching Louis at the funeral, blunder-flirting by asking about the casket, and showing us how angry it makes him to be ignored. Louis continues to the cemetery, is immobilized once again, and at this point it’s full on mindfuck warfare with Lestat trying to lure him.

I really do not like the character shift that Lestat is like a vengeful edgy atheist here but it makes sense how he tries to be with Louis, Louis cannot seek Lily for comfort, he seeks Paul (aka religious man that triggers Lestat), and when he cannot seek Paul either he goes to church. So now Lestat’s gotta destroy the church, too! Anything to lead Louis towards him!!!!!!

Similarly to the way they gloss over the dating period, I am dsaghjklsdhgjKSDG so frustrated that we don’t get to hear what Lestat is saying to him to convince him at the end. I’m wondering if this is trying to hint towards the way Louis skimmed over any love or positivity in the novel and focused on how much he hated Lestat and what a douchebag Lestat was lol. Same could be happening here and I’m waiting to see how it unfolds in the future episodes.

But like YIKES that Lestat murders priests and starts a fire to win Louis over and still acts like Louis has a choice here. He’s isolated Louis from his friend, his brother, his church. Arguably he still has Grace and his mom except that his mom is blaming him for Paul’s death. But Lestat narrows his world down to only have room for Lestat.

And just THE WAY HE SAYS “I LOVE YOU. YOU ARE LOVED.” Like. Lestat is a total solipsist, I think he has a hard time caring about other people’s feelings unless he’s using them in some way and observing them for his own benefit. “I love you” is an expression of his own feelings, and he means it, but having to remind Louis “You are loved” is so fucking manipulative at this exact moment. 🍿

I’ve been like super worried about this show was going to handle Lestat’s tendency to abuse people around him and woobify the domesticity of Rue Royale Era because of the way they said it would be truer than the movie since they can draw on all the books to inform Lestat’s personality. YKNOW LIKE ALL THE BOOKS WHERE LESTAT DOESNT ACKNOWLEDGE THAT HE’S TERRIBLE AND WE’RE SUPPOSED TO JUST BE ON HIS SIDE etc etc and all the ways Anne fumbled the topics of domestic abuse.

Like I WANTED Lestat to be clearly toxic and I’m really relieved we’re getting a version of him like this instead of framing him as a hero but at the same time it was like WOAH LMFAO THIS IS EVEN WORSE????? He’s so much worse here. It’s Lestat being an asshole but with the subtlety of a brick to the face.

I definitely have some complaints about it and he comes off as a caricature at times even though Sam is doing a great job with what was written for him, but I guess I prefer this over it being like a wholesome romance hahahah. Like please, yes, make him the biggest asshole. :D

WELL ANYWAY

In my mind I was gonna just write a few bullet points about stuff I liked & didn’t like in the episode but I got really carried away so I’m gonna end here.

I’ll park some other points here just for the record to have it out of the way before we watch more.

STUFF I REALLY LIKED

- the set designs & wardrobe (even though this time period isn’t my fav for wardrobe but they did really good with it)

- really good performances from Jacob and Sam !

STUFF I REALLY DID NOT ENJOY

- the Daniel straightwash/closeting (I wrote a bit about it yesterday though)

STUFF I KINDA DIDN’T ENJOY BUT I’M LOOKING FOR CLUES IN THE FOLLOWING EPISODES TO ADD CONTEXT

- I don’t really love that they’re framing race, orientation, and disability as sources of shame, especially when it’s a show invention. I feel there might also be something in here about how Lestat thinks it's okay to murder poor people and sex workers but maybe we'll find out that they were ~evil all along~. To say you’re updating the text and then adding these kind of reductive themes is like, not awesome LOL but I wanna see where it goes to decide how it’s being handled.

- I have a lot to say about how they handled the topic of Louis owning brothels & the way they talked about the sex workers. There’s so much to unpack here when it comes to the politics and economics of the time period and how like, almost all the SWers were Black except for the disabled one and someone in the bg. There’s just a lot here. I don’t think it’s necessarily bad on the screen within the story but there’s sort of a larger context about the way RJ has talked about the story and the characters and his occasional creepy sexist remarks that are giving me big red flags here about the intent behind it.

- Changing the entire theme of vampirism from othering to power is just. … .okay lol. All the reviews were raving about how much this show FELT like Anne Rice and how it was so loyal to the themes and honestly I did not get that all from this episode? In a super broad strokes way I see the through-line of like loneliness/love and shame/isolation but from this episode alone it feels like a huge mess and I wanna see where else it goes.

- I’m really curious because a lot of the reviews said this episode was slow and I THOUGHT IT WAS RUSHED HAHA I was really confused about the pacing. But knowing that the reviewers saw 1-5 I’m just like omfg does that mean the others are like Ryan Murphy level drama?! LOL. They also kept commenting on how campy it was (in a good way) and in this episode I couldn’t tell if the campy moments were intentional. They came across as cringe & cheesy to me haha but I suppose if they show up often enough as a pattern we’ll be able to see if it was intentional. There were definitely a few parts where the music had me literally crying laughing (when they floated off the floor and when Paul died I don't think it was supposed to be funny, oops!)

(Speaking of cheesy stuff I laughed so much at all the super silly transitions and over the top music that felt straight out of Bram Stoker’s Dracula 1992 lolololol I was crying hahah)

OKAY THAT’S IT FOR NOW HAHA hsdajdklgasd gosh I have a lot of thoughts. TALK SOON WHEN I WATCH EPISODE 2 I CANT BELIEVE WE GOT 2 MONTHS OF THIS.

#vampire pajama party on amc #cw abuse

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natasha-in-space · 1 year

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In a Pokémon AU, what do you think the RFA + Minor Trio's roles be? Like gym leader, professor, trainer, contest star, etc?

Oh boy, Pokemon au's are always a ton of fun to play around with! I am a bit rusty, but I did my best with my personal picks for their possible trainer classes. Some of them are pretty random and even weird, but hey, I had fun writing out my thoughts regardless :D

Yoosung

Ace trainer. Honestly? I see Yoosung as being a very competent fighter that you should not underestimate under any circumstances. Ace trainers mostly consist of teens or young adults in games, as far as I can remember, so they do fit his demographic quite well! Yoosung is someone who has a deep drive to better himself, which is why I can easily imagine him travelling around the world and taking regular part in Pokemon League competitions. His team is very well balanced and pretty hard to beat, as he does take pride in his fighting skills!

Zen

Gym leader. There's just something about Zen being in charge of testing beginner trainers and making sure that they're strong enough to continue into the Pokemon League that is so appealing to me for some reason. I always viewed him as a mentor figure of sorts, so it's fun to imagine him putting his hard earned skills to good use like this. It's a pretty harsh and unforgiving position to be in, but Zen's hard work always pays off. He's not just in charge of testing and training, he's also supposed to look after the gym itself, which is a tiring physical labor to go through. It's a role that requires a lot of responsibility, and that's something that our beloved actor takes very seriously.

Jaehee

Baker. Uhhh, this may be a weird choice, but I kinda just see her opening up her own cozy pokemon cafe eventually... I want her to live a peaceful life filled with yummy treats, warm coffee and her loyal pokemon buddies right by her side. So, the first thing that came to my mind is baker class. Still, don't underestimate Jaehee. She's an extremely difficult opponent to beat!

Jumin

Pokemon professor. Jumin is definitely someone who's reached the expert level with his skills and knowledge. I can see him being highly interested in research and working towards new improvements in the training field with the help of his company. It's also easy to imagine him being in the position of giving their first ever pokemon to new trainers. Jumin is deeply connected to nature, so I tend to think that he's a certified pokemon master in that regard. He'll be able to form a connection with any pokemon and, with time, he learned to pick the perfect ones at just a few glances.

Saeyoung

Collector. Okay, I was kinda conflicted between a scientist or a collector class for him. But, since the scientist class is usually aligned with evil teams, I decided to go with the collector class. I honestly imagine Saeyoung using super rare pokemon in his team, as well as finding joy in the process of learning everything there is to know about certain types of pokemon and planning the perfect way to catch them. Fighting with him would be quite a doozy due to just how unpredictable he really is in combat, and his pokemon team reflects that ideally.

Jihyun

Doctor. I always associated Jihyun with a healing role in whatever au I put him into. It just fits him y'know? He's someone who avoids conflict and doesn't like fighting, which is pretty fitting for the doctor training class who won't fight you unless you directly interact with them and talk to them. He's also definitely the type to heal your pokemon after the battle is finished, and he does his best to heal all injured pokemon he comes across.

Saeran

Pokemon breeder. Alright, I personally see Saeran as an animal person, even though he doesn't even realize that until someone directly points this out to him. He's able to easily form a connection with any pokemon and his tender touch is known to calm even the spunkiest of individuals. I imagine him both nursing young pokemon from birth and taking care of those who, due to unfortunate circumstances, have lost their former trainer. If you need to learn something specific about your little buddy - Saeran is the right person for the job. Plus hey, picturing him in his comfy overalls as he takes care of his little garden with a few tiny pokemon nestling themselves on his shoulders is just too cute of a sight for me to ignore.

Vanderwood

Pokemon hunter(poacher)/pokemon breeder. Okay. So, initially, they play the role of a pokemon hunter, and a very skillful one at that. Pokemon hunters are known for their powerful teams, and I always imagine Vandy being a particularly difficult opponent to beat. It's not a job that they enjoy doing, but they need to keep themselves stable in one way or another. They join Saeran as a fellow pokemon breeder once they're free to choose whatever role they want for themselves. Like Saeran, Vanderwood has a natural talent at building close connections with their pokemon, and additional farm work is something they enjoy to their hearts content.

#mystic messenger #mysmes #mysme #mm #yoosung kim #zen ryu #jaehee kang #jumin han #saeyoung choi #jihyun kim #saeran choi #ge saeran #vanderwood

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linkspooky · 2 years

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Goggol and Dostoevsky: Joker’s Wild

The clown and the rat are set up as yet another Yin / Yang or Double Black pairing in Bungou Stray Dogs. Continuing from my previous post on Jouno and Tecchou, the main conflict between these two characters is a conflict between ideals and bonds. More underneath the cut.

1. Power of Friendship

Goggol is an interesting twist on the ouble black pairing because he’s introduced to us and the only characterization he’s given is how he would live and die for the sake of his ideals of freedom, however his actions contradict that heavily. When a character’s stated motivation, what they want, contradicts what they clearly need as a person in order to grow this is considered a classic want vs need conflict.

In the same scene where he states that he wants to kill himself to demonstrate his absolute freedom over morality and any other constriction, he also states that part of that statement was a lie, and the only one who would ever be able to understand is Dos-kun. This sets up a conflict, one you are not supposed to take Goggol one hundred percent on his words for his stated motivations, because Goggol himself doesn’t quite seem to know. That’s why he frames the conversation as a quiz show, he’s seeking an answer to his question. The second is that goggol’s two primary motivators are in conflict with each other.

Goggol wants to release himself from the constraints of being human in every way possible, the brain is a cage, bonds with other people are ties that restrain him, and therefore the only way he can choose that is a perfect suicide he chooses himself.

However, Goggol also wants someone to understand his philosophy and the reason why he wants to die, and that same craving for attachment understanding is something that humanizes him and works the opposite of Goggol’s goal.

Goggol cannot have one, because the two ideas directly contradict the other. He cannot die alone if he has friends. If he has friends he will no longer wish to die. That’s simplifying it but stil, Goggol probably embodies the conflict between living for the sake of bonds and living for the sake of ideals more than any character in the manga, especially since his reasoning is so esoteric and purely ideals.

However, I would argue that Goggol himself falls on the side of valuing his connection with Dostoevsky more than his desire to be free. For the simple reason that Goggol could have had his perfect suicide, and he chose not to die.

Not because he was afraid to die (though he was afraid to die) but the moment before his death he remembered Dos-kun, and found another reason to live.

Once again, Goggol’s motivations are esoteric so it’s not quite that simple, but basically Goggol is always trying to work out some kind of paradox in his head. First his conflict was wanting to be understood vs. wanting to die alone. When Goggol realized that someone did understand him, his goals shiftded from wanting to be with the person who understood vs. wanting to kill Fyodor to achieve the aloneness he views as absolute freedom.

However, the fact that Goggol didn’t die, and conjured another moment to live at the last moment means his arc isn’t a suicide arc. He is probably not going to die. Which means that for Goggol while he utlimately not realize it himself, his need to connect to others and be understood by them is far more powerful than his urge to die for his ideals.

There are lots of yin/yang pairs but I’m going to compare them to Atsushi and Akutagawa primarily because they are the most developed of the pairs. Atsushi is an idealist, he will sacrifice his life to protect complete strangers and that’s how he receives validation. Akutagawa focuses far more on people and the bonds between them, Akutagawa’s entire motivation revolves around wanting to receive validation from Dazai a person he has history with. In the Beast AU his character entirely revolves around rescuing his sister. All of Akutagawa’s positive character development comes from learning to treat his subordinates underneath him better. Atsushi may be better at playing the hero, but Akutagawa is ultiamtely more of a people person.

Nikolai is obsessed with his ideals, but ultimately the conflict in his character lies in the people around him. When he designs a death game to determine if he should kill Dostoevsky or not, Dazai even comments that Nikolai is a good friend. In layman’s terms he’s basically designed a BFFS test for Dostoevsky. He wants to prove that his friendship is real, in his own unique clown way.

2. Power of Ideals

Fyodor is a much more clear cut parallel with Atsushi because he’s Dazai alligned. I am going to make a statement that sounds 100% insane at first, but please give me a chance to explain. Fyodor’s ideals just like Atsushi’s are entirely built around saving others.

Not everything about Fyodor’s character has been revealed yet, he’s not Goggol he won’t just tell you about his ideals, but I believe bestowing sin’s is god’s work does such a good job introducing his character that we don’t necessarily need a backstory or a clearly stated motivation to elucidate on who he is.

First Dostoevsky’s central character trait is he’s an absolutist. He never compromises on his ideals even a little bit, it’s desmontrated not once, but twice in his willingness to murder a child to accomplish his goals.

This is a bit of foiling with Goggol. They both have twisted ideals but their characters work best, if you read them as one hundred percent committed to those ideals. The child’s thoughts as he dies are who is it that evil can save?

Dos believes that his absolutely evil and detestable actions are ones that will build a better world, by cleansing it in sin. However, in order to accomplish his cleansing he can’t act like a man with morals. He has to be amoral. He has to sep completely above everyone else’s morality and create his own, he has to become his own god.

Atsushi, Dazai and Dostoevsky all have characters that revolve around saving complete strangers. Atsushi wants to sacrifice his life to save strangers to demonstrate his life has worth. Dazai will manipulate and use his own friends over and over again, and his motivations aren’t completely altruistic he just wants to find a motivation. He can even be selfish in regards to those he saves, he picks favorites between Atsushi and Akutagawa, even though Dazai stated a good man like Oda would have saved Akutagawa.

Dostoevsky is an extreme version of the flaws of both those characters. Dostoevsky in order to accomplish his goals is order to disregard the feelings of not only complete strangers, but also his own allies, everyone is subject to becoming a pawn for him so he can assert his own individual will over reality. A god has no need of friends, etc. etc. I dont think Dostoevsky is devoid of friendship and sympathy for other people, he just ignores those things because ideals are more important to him, that’s why we see such a big contradiction in some of his actions.

Dostoevsky says good fortune for this world, a blessing for children, at the same time as he’s shown to be instructing a child to kill themselves for the sole purpose of destroying Kunikida’s ideals and accomplishing his plan to cripple both the ADA and the Mafia. If he’s being sincere here, then his character revolves around the same contradiction as Goggol his ultimate foil. He kills children to save children. He uses abilities to change the world to... rid it of ability users.

Fyodor believes that the only thing that’s able to fight evil is worse evil.

Dostoevsky is also working with the leader of the Hound Dogs, Kamui. Who shares a similiar motivation. Kamui has done such evil in the name of protecting order, torturing, and killing innocent people making war to make peace. That he now believes the only way for him to stop the evils of war is to seize ultimate power for himself. To keep the tyranny of the world in place, but to place himself as the leader. Replace rid the world of War to Rid the world of Ability Users and you get the same kind of absolutist ideals as Dostoevsky.

Both of their characters revolve around the absolute evils that they’re willing to commit in order to achieve those ideals, they frame innocent people, dostoevsky lobotomizes people, mind controls people, kills children, and Kamui has done all the same and only seeks to stop it now.

However, just like Goggol’s actions contradict his ideals, he says he wants to die alone but he keeps reaching out to Dos. Dos’s methods are in complete contradiction to his motivations. His: do evil to do good philosophy in practice show his actions fall short of his high minded ideals. Especially when in order to accomplish his ideals he manipulates complete innocents like Sigma.

Dostoevsky’s plans often fail because his ideals are too high minded to be compatible with what is a messy, complicated and confusing reality. His dreams for utopia work against the nature of the very humans he wants to save. Dazai points this out to us. Dostoevsky’s massive blindspot when it comes to the worth of individual human life, which are often the monkey wrench thrown in mot of his plans.

Dostoevsky like to pretend they’re the most important because they’re chess players who can control the moves on the board, but the actual important people are the pieces on the gameboard because they’re actually out there in the world struggling.

Which will ultimately be the greatest conflict in Dostoesvky’s arc as well. Will he be a person in this world? Because as ruthless as Dostoesvky is he still has ties to the world, he has both Sigma and Goggol. How the conflict with them resolves will most likely determine Dotsoevsky’s fate. God or Man? We have yet to see.

#bsd #bsd 100 #bsd 101 #bungou stray dogs #bsd meta #bungou stray dogs meta #bungou stray dogs theory #bsd spoilers #dazai osamu #fyodor dostoevsky #nikolai gogol

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the-smol-boys · 2 years

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MCYT Au Part 3

—————

Dream got out of bed to catch the borrower but he was far too late...the small guy already scurried off. He sighed and scratched his head. He heard that right? The creature he thought had the mental capacity of a rodent starting yelling at him in English...

“Fuck...” he muttered. “...and I let him get away” his mind was riddled with questions but he felt an overwhelming guilt creep up in his chest. He was treating a person like a pet... he couldn’t imagine the fear he inflicted on the poor thi-...no no, poor guy. And even worse the burrower was somewhere in the house..the house he shared with sapnap, who loathed the little creatures. Now He’d have to find the little guy before his roommate. Who knows what sapnap would do to the tiny, thinking he’s less than human...fortunately Dream was pretty good at setting traps...

———

George limped through the tunnel system. He fell to his knees when he felt he was finally out of reach from that human, taking a moment to catch his breath.

‘What was with that human…??’

Never had he ever interacted with one before..Atleast not directly like that…at the time fear had overwhelmed him when he saw how huge he was. But the giant had acted with kindness, and even saved him from that trap. Which George had to remind himself was set by the blonde in the first place!

An annoyed huff left his mouth. ‘Seriously?! Who does that guy think he is?! Trying to kick me out! I’ve lived here just as long as those two.’ He thought as he made his way back to his home. ‘He’s an idiot if he thinks I’m falling for that glue trap again or any trap for that matter!’

———

Dream was really worrying for the little guy. He must have hurt himself from that fall. Not to mention he was already weak to begin with…

Before he did anything else he removed the glue traps. It would be cruel if he continued to use them..

This was going to be hard to explain to sapnap…

———

“You really are losing it dreamy~”

“I’m not joking! He really di-“

“You expect me to believe that a rodent was talking to you? Do you really think I’m that dumb?”

“Sapnap!” Dream half whined half scolded, causing the younger boy to sigh.

“Those things aren’t human..they may look like it. Maybe sometimes they even sound like it but they aren’t! They are dirty pests, they carry diseases and steal our food. It’s disgusting…and if what you are saying is really true I can’t believe you let it get away. You said you would get rid of it”

“It was raining, was I supposed to just let him go out in the storm?!”

“Yes!! It’s not a person, they are supposed to live outside. Even when it’s storming!”

Dream knew sapnap wouldn’t listen…he couldn’t understand why his best friend was so against borrowers, since no amount of explaining could change his mind. “Whatever…”

———

His feelings toward him were conflicting. No one had ever treated him so gently and kindly before…it was degrading..but it was also kind of nice to feel cared for…and it seemed like the human wasn’t aware of the borrowers intelligence. Which wasn’t surprising, he knew most people think of his kind as pests…well he wasn’t a rat! And he wouldn’t tolerate being treated like one!

George’s new injuries made him a lot slower than he would’ve liked. His speed was one of the things that kept him alive, that’s kept him out of sight. Now all He could do was hope he heals quickly. And it was all thanks to that idiot human…

He practically memorized their routines. He knew when it was safe to grab some bread or steal a paper clip. However he failed to account for his new speed..or lack there of.

George had gone out that night, when those two were occupied on their computers, screaming and laughing. He just wanted to get extra food so he could spend a few days resting, he would need the nutrition to regain his strength.

It was when he was putting some Cheerios that must’ve spilled from someone’s bowl into his satchel when his world blurred.

A hand had smacked him, quite hard, against the granite counter top. It felt like his breath was knocked out of him, and no amount of gasping could return oxygen to his lungs.

“DREAM! I CAUGHT IT! QUICK GET A BOX OR SOMETHING!”

—————

Don’t worry part 4 is on its way ;3

#g/t art #g/t #g/t community #giant/tiny #fearplay #g/t thoughts #g/t au #giant/tiny prompt #g/t fearplay #giant/tiny fluff #giant!sapnap #giant!dream #tiny!george #g/t mcyt #mcyt g/t

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 3 years

Note

So more on the Beauford Swan AU, how do you think Alice and Rosalie's relationships with him are different? I assume Rosalie doesn't compare herself to Beauford the exact same way she compares herself to Bella, and Alice's Barbie Bella dream probably doesn't translate directly into a Ken Beau. How would that effect their initial relationships and the eventual family dynamics (Let's just assume this is the Beau Gives Up and Asks Carlisle to Turn Him version)?

Ooooh, interesting question anon.

For reference the Beauford AU: one, two, and three.

Specifically, we're in post number three, where Beauford survives Edward (huzzah for Beauford).

Rosalie

Rosalie's relationship with Beauford is a rollercoaster of weird.

At first, Beauford is a nothing special human. Rosalie's a little amused the girls are going wild for him, and she sees the appeal if you're into sensitive pretty boys (not Rosalie's type), but it has nothing to do with her.

As you point out, Rosalie doesn't have that conflict with her own beauty and comparison to Bella. Just per being a man, Rosalie will not compare herself to Beauford constantly.

Then Edward has his Biology breakdown and becomes increasingly weird.

Rosalie probably still suggests they kill off Beauford for nearly being crushed by a van. While Rosalie did have inner conflict over Bella, most of what informed that was Rosalie's lack of desire to move, that wouldn't change because of Beauford.

She probably wonders what the hell Edward's deal is, why is he obsessed with this guy, and then she has her "oh" moment.

Edward is gay.

Edward has always been gay.

Suddenly everything makes sense. The fact that Edward has shown 0 interest in Rosalie, that he showed 0 interest in Tanya who was practically throwing herself at him, that he shows 0 interest in any woman period.

Rosalie never suspected as much before, or at least, never put two and two together. But of course Edward is gay, it all makes sense now.

Edward doesn't like that idea, not at all, and accuses Rosalie of being a jealous shrew who is so offended by the idea that Edward isn't attracted to her that she accuses him of homosexuality.

Rosalie never said a word of this out loud.

The family has the biggest fight they've ever had. And, somehow, it's not over the murder of Beauford, but Edward's sexuality. No definitive conclusion is reached, but if you ask Edward, he is most definitely a heterosexual hot blooded man. Now, if you excuse him, he's going to go sneak into Beauford's room to crush the spiders that might sneak onto his pillow.

But back to Rosalie and Beauford.

Rosalie becomes increasingly exasperated as Edward romances Beauford without admitting he's romancing Beauford. He also does ridiculous things like adamantly refuse to turn Beauford into a vampire.

Rosalie tries to point out that he and Edward have no future like this. Edward doesn't care, he'll nobly leave Beauford anyway, as soon as he has the strength to. Rosalie tries to point out that a man doesn't take another man to a romantic Italian dinner (where he can't even eat anything) unless he's romantically interested. Edward tells Rosalie that she's never been as beautiful as she thought she was!

Rosalie decides, "fuck it", and she will be a part of Beauford's welcome committee when Edward invites him to meet the family. She's only given a few hours notice, but she just feels so bad for this guy. Edward's stringing him along, but is too in love with his own closet to ever have a real relationship.

She has no idea what Beauford thinks about it, but she's just dying of secondhand embarrassment. And yes, she thinks that Beauford should probably live a human life, and that Edward should either leave him alone or turn him, but at the very least she has to explain that her brother's an idiot.

Well, turns out, Beauford is also an idiot. And he's weird.

Rosalie finds herself meeting the most sensitive, womanly, man she's ever seen in her life. This guy is a delicate flower, she feels like if she breathes on him he might shatter into a thousand pieces.

He's very polite, very charming, but she watches as he does things like cry at Edward's piano playing and then let Edward eat his tear.

What the fuck?

Rosalie throws her hands in the air. There's no helping these two, they deserve each other, Rosalie out. Well, the baseball game happens, which turns into a disaster and a half.

Rosalie still likely gives her "Why are we risking our own deaths over this guy we don't even know" and Beauford assumes that Rosalie hates him (not helped by Rosalie giving him "are you crazy" looks all the time as well as Edward telling Beauford that Rosalie is jealous of his beauty and Edward's very platonic affections for him).

That summer Rosalie barely sees Beauford. When she does, he and Edward are cuddling on the couch. She asks if Edward's admitting he's gay yet, the answer is always no. She rolls her eyes and leaves to work on her cars.

New Moon happens, Rosalie doesn't know what to think anymore, but she supposes this is a decent outcome. Beauford gets to live a normal, human, life and move on.

They're back six months later.

Fast forward a bit and Beauford is turned by Carlisle. Rosalie sits down to think about it, Carlisle makes it clear why this happened, and she's back to feeling bad for Beauford.

Edward treats him like trash, he's downright vicious to Beauford, and Beauford looks like he's about to cry constantly. Rosalie reaches out and the pair have a good long talk about life, the universe, and her Pig Brother Edward.

Rosalie assures Beauford that Edward will get over it, he'll forgive Beauford eventually, and someday he'll stop being an ass. Beauford is comforted, but Edward never stops being an ass.

Rosalie and Beauford end up best friends instead.

They have nothing in common.

Alice

Alice still makes Beauford her Barbie Beauford, but with a slightly masculine twist.

She buys him fabulous clothes, so that his closet is filled with blazers, turtlenecks, and very tight pants. She still throws him a sweet sixteen eighteen, only instead of a million pink candles the candles are now blue.

Beauford is still utterly mortified.

She gets him a tux for Prom and Beauford ends up going with Edward though neither Edward nor Beauford realize they're in fact going to Prom together as a couple.

Alice still sees Beauford as her best friend and is absolutely ecstatic for his and Edward's "friendship". As Alice never sees the pair having sex, she is absolutely fine with the platonic label and fully agrees with Edward that theirs is a very platonic relationship.

Alice is still the best friend Beauford ever had because he has no friends and doesn't know what friendship is. Though he kind of wishes she'd stop buying him clothes.

Their relationship goes down the drain after Beauford is turned.

As Beauford and Edward's relationship falls apart, he looks to Alice for comfort, but she has none to provide. She doesn't see him and Edward working out any time soon and, well, glad you're a part of the family?

Alice realizes that her and Beauford's friendship isn't going to work out either. She's upset about this, but doesn't see any way to salvage it without completely alienating Edward. Alice will choose Edward.

Alice ponders over might have beens and wonders when the future shifted but quietly watches as Beauford becomes closest with Rosalie.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #beauford swan #bella swan #edward/bella #anti edward/bella #edward/beauford #anti edward/beauford #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #rosalie hale #alice cullen #anti alice cullen #meta #headcanon #opinion

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farvaduvet · 3 years

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I always thought Dark pit represented the frustration Pit felt about himself, it was interesting how every complain that Pitoo brought up was always about Pit and the way he acted towards Palutena, he never once insulted her directly nor said anything bad about her, rather all of his criticism and complaints were about Pit’s attitude towards her.

I always felt like Dark pit was similar to persona 4 version of shadows, more or less all of Pit’s own frustrations, insecurities and internal desires being exposed without filter.

So,I think that it was very meaningful how they came together and teamed up in order to rescued Palutena together by the end of the game

A lot of my thoughts are things that @descendant-of-truth had already pointed out (I’m a big fan of their analysis)

I found very interesting how Wilted Pit called out Pitoo for working for Viridi and behind the same as him despite Pitoo criticizing Wilted for working with Pandora and being subservient to her.

In a way it still retain the same sentiment that their reflection is still a representation of their own feelings and insecurities.

This makes me wonder it Pitoo will confront Viridi for harming the humans and if Wilted could stand up to Pandora in accord.

look at you making me spontaneously write a frickin essay about alternate universe anime angels. i just have a lot of Thoughts.

yeah man that’s the cool thing about the pits. they’re rather complex characters, even though the game barely skims any of that complexity explicitly (which sucks because please there is so much material for KIU 2)

the tricky part of this au has been figuring out how exactly wilted pit works as a reflection of dark pit. because the mirror is said to create clones based off what’s been repressed in the original’s heart (the truth, ig) but then palutena’s like, ‘oh, that pittoo… he’s manifesting your dark side.’ maybe she’s unfounded in saying that, in which case, that’s a whole different thing to unpack, if she thinks pit’s repressed desire to be independent like dark pit is bad. but. we’re here to talk about my au lmao

so yeah the mirror definitely sounds like a thing that exploits insecurities more than anything else. now, canon dark pit would never work for any of the gods for any reason, that’s his whole M.O (discounting what was said in palutena’s guidance, idc about that), so something’s gotta give in order for this au to work. this is where i start super reading between the lines sksksk

got damn i wrote a lot. putting the rest under read more

dark pit isn’t the endlessly positive and hopeful person pit is. he’s cynical, and he calls things like he sees them. obviously the flight advantage is half of why he’s under viridi in the first place, but i think, in a world where pit doesn’t exist, he’s sort of left in this place of knowing there’s nothing he-- an angel, meant to be in service of the gods-- can do on his own to end any conflict between the gods. and that sucks for him!! he retains that same sense of wanting to fight for good that canon pit has, but no palutena out there to make him feel like he can do that.

but he resigns himself to serving one of them anyway. what else can he do? it’s not like there’s any good pickings-- medusa is literally evil, while palutena, who never went looking for him after he fell out of skyworld, largely ignores the suffering of the humans she’s supposed to protect. viridi at least respects his boundaries and tolerates his rebellious nature, even if she is a misanthropic maniac. i think, underneath all the edginess, he just wants someone to respect him as he actually is, not conditionally on whether he’s a good little servant.

wilted pit, on the other hand, is the version of pit who gives up and resigns himself to being that good little servant. he’s desperate for affection, even if it’s from the obviously evil pandora, and later from medusa and hades, none of whom really treat him like an actual person. i think this is sort of like a toxic version of how pit is in canon (which is admittedly already a lil toxic)-- quite a bit of his self-image is just in being so important to palutena, and without her, he sorta starts losing it (like in chs 20 n 23).

both pit and wilted pit know about the implications of their circumstances. pit’s had longer to justify it to himself-- so when wilty calls him out for being a hypocrite, he’s like, how dare you insinuate that i’m like you… even though you are sorta the embodiment of all my insecurities…

eventually, they’re able to overcome their differences. they’ve got a solidarity in being the only ones of their kind, in a weird sort of spot: too divine for the humans, but too lowly for most of the gods. pit realizes there are people out there who care about him and it’s ok to let his guard down; wilty becomes brave enough to fight for what’s right, even if it seems impossible. this probably happens during the chaos kin arc… i imagine palutena finds wilty when he wakes up, and they find pit together, then they all team up to save viridi.

i haven’t thought as much about what viridi thinks of pit? she acts like she doesn’t care that much, but she’s secretly got a soft spot for him, and sort of pities his circumstances. she of course brushes him off whenever he says, ‘hey, genocide’s not cool,’ but maybe this changes when she’s forced to work with with palutena to defeat hades? pit probably rips her a new one after the chaos kin arc and she’s like, okok, fine. maybe cooperation isn’t bad. maybe the humans can get better.

she’s a little boggled that god-hater pit would go out of his way to save her, though. i imagine viridi’s not used to being cared about, either, as a self-proclaimed enemy of humanity. (on that note, how do phosphora and arlon feel about her? who knows. I’m gonna include them in this au but it’s a little tricky when i can’t make them bosses lmao)

wilted pit of course has a final encounter with pandora at the rewind spring, and things are rather tense… imagine meeting back up with your abusive mom who is now a hot lady. it’s hard, but he is eventually able to fight her. maybe pit helps out too if he gets revived first

i think wilted pit ends up with palutena at the end of everything. she gets one last angel to take care of, and he gets a real mom :)

#my silly KIU au #more like pit and wilty's emotional rollercoaster #i think wilty is an awfully uninspired substitute for pittoo but that's what i've been calling him in my head for the last month lmaoo #i am open to suggestions #kid icarus

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gothighunicorntolerance · 3 years

Text

Daydreaming (all the time)

AO3 link

When Nico comes home and sees an two identical Thomases asleep on the couch, he discovers some new sides of his boyfriend. When Nico throws his car keys on the wall-mounted hook and sees Thomas asleep on the couch with someone sitting next to him, his first, anxiety-ridden thought is “he’s cheating.” But he quickly dismisses it, replacing it with his second thought: “I didn’t know Thomas’ brother was over!”

When Nico tiptoes to the couch to better see which of Thomas’s many brothers it is, his third thought is “ Thomas never mentioned he had a twin brother!”

Everything about the two men is identical except for their clothes- the way their lips quirked up into a small smile, the little mole on their chins, even their sleeping positions.

But his fourth and most conflicting thought appears when the man next to Thomas, clad in a purple shirt, black skinny jeans, and a black jacket with purple patches, wakes up with a jolt and looks directly at Nico.

“Uh,” Nico smiles. “Hi. Didn’t mean to wake you up sorry about that! Thomas didn’t mention his brother coming over- last-minute visit? Can I get you something?”

The brother pales (as much as he can, between how pale Thomas is naturally and what seems to be the even paler foundation the brother used.) and the black lines under his eyes, which Nico had previously thought were just bags from lack of sleep, suddenly stretch down to his cheekbones.

“I- uh- Thomas!” The brother stutters, his voice increasing to almost a shout when he calls Thomas’s name.

Thomas jolts awake, almost flying off the couch as he sits up. He looks around wildly for a second, his hair flopping into his eyes before he looks up at Nico.

“Ah! Nico! You’re… home. Early. Is it early? Uhm, I, he- we were- uh-“ Thomas stutters. Nico had known him long enough that he only trailed off like that when he was particularly anxious.

“You never mentioned having a twin brother! That’s so cool!” Nico sits down next to Thomas as the brother stood up, moving to the stairs.

“Oh- he’s- we’re… we aren’t actually twins. Or brothers. Or related at all, actually,” Thomas rubs the back of his neck.

“Oh! A doppelgänger, then? Don’t worry, I still like you better,” Nico laughs. Thomas gives a small grin.

“No… he’s…” Thomas looks towards his purple-clad… friend? Nico wasn’t sure anymore. The friend sighs and nods before sitting down on the bottom step and crossing his legs. “I should just… show you. It’s hard to explain.”

“Oh, okay then. Er, what exactly are you explaining?”

Thomas took a deep breath. “Okay. Nico, I, um, so you know when you hear me arguing with myself sometimes? Well, uh, I’m arguing with him.” Thomas pointed to the person on the stairs, who gave a smirk and a small two-finger salute. Nico gave a slight eyebrow raise as he noticed the eyeshadow had gotten darker and even more caked on, almost looking like black tears.

“And, uh, he’s not the only one,” Thomas continued. “That’s Virgil, and there’s Patton, Roman, Logan, Ja-“

Thomas was cut off by another voice chiming in.

“Yes Thomas, please do ruin my entrance. I love it when that happens.”

Nico whipped around to see who had spoken and did a double-take as he saw who was standing in front of the blinds. It was another person who looked eerily similar to Thomas- well, on half his face, anyway. The other half seemed to be a snake? And to top off the look, the snake-faced man was dressed in a getup similar to what Nico imagined a Victorian-era vampire would wear; a black capelet, black tunic, and a black bowler hat with a yellow band.

“Who-“ Nico started but was cut off yet again by someone else appearing right next to Snakeface. The newcomer gave a bright smile towards Thomas and then turned to face Snakeface.

“Hiya Janus! Um, you’re in my spot again… I’m sure we can share, though!”

Janus- an odd name, but weirdly fitting, Nico thought- rolled his eyes. “Patton, congratulations on being the second person to ruin my entrance today alone,” he drawled.

“What entrance? Thomas already knows all about you- oh!” Patton suddenly looked directly at Nico. “We’re doing this now? Hi Nico!” Patton grinned and clapped, while

“Ah, Thomas,” Nico whipped around yet again to see who had appeared next to the stairs. “And Nico. I suppose you are doing this now.”

“Not without me!” Someone else sang as he appeared in front of the couch.

“Boo!” Another shouted from… behind the TV? All of the other Thomas Clones screamed, and the newcomer clad in green with what seemed to be a mustache sticker taped on.

“Okay… what’s happening? And… Why do they all look exactly like you?” Nico asked cautiously.

“Okay,” Thomas took another deep breath, holding this one for several counts. “So… these are all the guys I argue with when you hear me arguing with myself. And I actually am arguing with myself, because they’re all me, but- agh, this doesn’t make any sense.”

“Allow me to explain, then. Hello, Nico. I am Logan, the representation of Thomas’s logic. We are what he calls sides, for the alliteration I presume. We each represent a portion of his personality, in a way. I am every fact he’s ever learned, his critical thinking, curiosity, and the only reason he graduated college with a chemical engineering degree. And then proceeded to waste that degree, but that is not today’s discussion.”

“Not true! Remember all the argumentative papers? That was all me!” Janus glared.

The other Thomases broke out into an argument and Logan rolled his eyes- Nico could have sworn he saw an orange tint- and Thomas gave an apoplectic look.

“Sorry about… that,” he gestured.

“Do they- you? Does this happen often?”

“Yeah. Sometimes they mix it up and argue in song form.”

Nico looked around the room and nodded. “So they’re all you? Is it like a superpower or something?”

“No, I don’t really know what it is. They’re all imaginary, so I don’t know why you’re able to see them… I knew if you were somehow able to see them I’d tell you, but…” Thomas trailed off.

“But what?” Nico prompted.

“I didn’t want you to think I was weird.”

“Hey, don’t worry- if no one was weird I’d think we’d all be pretty boring. Besides- this actually makes a lot of sense.”

“Yeah- wait, what do you mean it makes sense?”

“Well,” Nico gave a nervous laugh. “I’d seen a bunch of stuff moving on their own, flashes of color out of the corner of my eye, even heard voices a couple of times. I was nearly starting to believe in ghosts!”

Thomas chuckled. “I never even thought about that! Well, I’m glad I haven't scared you off yet. I didn’t scare you off, right?”

“It’ll take more than figments of your imagination to get rid of me, Mr. Sanders,” Nico smiled and planted a kiss on Thomas’s cheek, smiling as he flushed a bright pink. “Now come on, I’m going to bed. Pack up your… you’s … and join me.”

taglist: @theimprobabledreamersworld @edupunkn00b

inspired by a prompt from @tss-au-slash-fanfic-ideas !

#Sanders sides #Thomas sanders #nico flores #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders

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ckneal · 3 years

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There’s a midam AU idea that’s been living in the back of my mind for months now, but it’s been slow going. Mainly because I suspect that doing the idea justice is going to mean doing more research than I’m used to, and maybe even rewatching the series proper to help me fill in some of the weak spots, and I have so many other story ideas that are frankly just easier to work on, two of which are already slated to be multi-chapter works. . . But I’m in the mood to type up something longwinded, so here we go. Keep reading if you’d like to see a rough outline of the first few chapters of this story I really hope to write out properly sometime.

(Warning, this is a long one.)

So, this story is loosely based on the Hundred Years War that took place between England and France from 1337-1453. But it’s only very loosely inspired. Very, very loosely. As in, I was reading a book, I read about one thing that happened, it germinated in my head, and then suddenly I had a plot developing that featured my current favorite ship. Additional sources of inspiration include one of my favorite fantasy series, and a personally beloved trashy romance novel. Because it’s fanfiction, folks. There are no rules here.

Of course, in this AU, the entire world is going to be made up, with neither side of the war distinctly being assigned the role of England or France—or Flanders or Burgundy, for that matter. I barrowed an inciting incident, and few smaller details from history to help things along here and there, but with no regard for keeping all the French things assigned to one group and the English ones to another.

That said, the inciting incident took its inspiration from the Battle of Poiters, a conflict during which England not only won against the French, but also took their king hostage. King Jean II was later ransomed back to his people, but at a sum that was so high, France could not afford to pay it all at once. England still returned France’s king, but new hostages were provided to serve as collateral during the interim, including the King’s son.

So. . .crown Prince Michael Shurley completely decimates King John Winchester on the battlefield, and sends his demands to John’s queen, Mary Winchester. The two kingdoms have been locked in a territory dispute for several decades, and this is one of the more humiliating events to befall the smaller kingdom yet, especially since they are unable to meet all of Michael’s demands. When the Winchesters begrudgingly admit this to the Shurley representatives, they’re caught off guard when they’re offered a trade: John Winchester will be returned, so long Dean Winchester takes his place as collateral.

Things are less than stable in the Winchester kingdom however, with more than a few factions quietly scheming for power. John and Mary were an arranged marriage that was originally held up like a fairytale when the two seemingly fell madly in love during their mandated courtship, but the years afterward had changed them. Civil unrest sparked by the war had brought out a lot of disagreements between the Winchesters and the Campbells and their approaches to governing.

John’s supporters are the ones to step forward with a plan, and convince Mary that it’s vitally important the people are not alarmed by their king’s capture. Mary initially finds it distasteful, but it’s talked around and adjusted and reframed, as John’s people ferret out more and more information about the vital party involved, until she finally agrees.

Because John Winchester just happened to have a bastard son. The resemblance to Dean might not be particularly remarkable, but no one at the Shurley court has ever seen the Winchester heir before. Plus, Adam Milligan has spent the entirety of his teen years studying to become a physician, of all things. He’s perfect for their purposes.

Ten years prior, the Shurley court had had to deal with its own bout of civil unrest, when King Chuck Shurley’s second eldest son had attempted to overthrow him with the support of several nobles from one the kingdom’s richest providences. Lucifer had allegedly been driven into exile following his defeat, and Chuck had been said to have contracted some sort of mysterious illness. According to rumors, the king had shut himself up in his private chambers and refused to admit anyone apart from his remaining children. Even servants were barred from tending him directly.

They snatch Adam away from his studies and force him into compliance by dusting off an archaic law left over from before the start of the war, when the kingdom relied on a conscription military force rather than a standing army full of career military professionals—this law empowering the crown to call on any of its citizens for a minimum forty days of military service per year. They tell Adam that his mission seems more dangerous than it is—really, all he has to do is pretend to be Dean, and use his medical knowledge to figure out exactly what mysterious illness has bedridden the enemy monarch.

Sam and Dean—the proverbial heir and spare of the kingdom—are not at court to meet their younger brother, when he’s hastily fitted for a royal wardrobe and put through a crash course on court etiquette. Sam is very publicly put on display at a holiday festival in another part of the kingdom, while Dean is sent orders to quietly stay behind at a country estate while his valet, Kevin Tran, is sent on to court. Neither of the princes is told about the plan until after Adam has already been shipped out, with Kevin in toe to help Adam along with the impersonation.

No one involved is in anyway comfortable with the mission. But it was only supposed to be for forty days. Adam was assured that the necessary funds to pay off the ransom would either be raised by the end of the minimum mandated service, or they would make contact to extract him. The Campbells and the Winchesters both allegedly had spies in the Shurley court, and they would make themselves known when the time was right.

Adam is given the impression that the latter had been told to him with the intention of making him feel safer. It did not work.

He’s terrified when he arrives—almost would have preferred being promptly thrown into a dungeon upon arrival, instead of a room full of foreign nobility who one and all give off the impression that if cut they’d bleed straight silver, and look at “Dean,” the hostage prince and purported military genius from the tiny, vicious country across the channel, as a curiosity to be studied. He’s assigned two guards (who I decided will be Anael and Samandriel, based entirely on the tags I threw together at then end of this post, during which I decided that I love these three together), who follow him around relentlessly, but beyond that, he’s. . .pretty much treated like a guest. If a stiflingly monitored one. There are limitations on where he can go and what he can do, but for the most part he’s just sort of. . .there.

Most unnerving of all, however, is the small package that Adam finds in his room when he first settles in. Kevin swears he has no idea who left it. It has the Campbell’s insignia clearly worked into the pattern of the paper it’s wrapped in, and inside he finds a knife small enough to conceal on his person, and a number of different herbs and powders that he recognizes from his studies—though of course, he’s more familiar with remedies to counteract their effects.

In other words, he finds an assassin’s-first-kill-job kit, and instructions on how and when to use it, if opportunity arises. This had not been part of the deal when Adam reluctantly signed on.

Unbeknownst to Adam however—though suspected by some parties in the Winchester court—Adam cannot assassinate Chuck Shurley, because Chuck is not there. Shortly after Lucifer’s insurrection, Chuck had quietly disappeared. Michael had only been a teenager at the time. He invented the story about Chuck being ill on impulse, certain that Chuck would be back sooner than later, and Raphael had gone along with it because, being twelve years old, Raphael was not yet old enough to question Michael’s judgement. It is now an awkward point between them.

Adam soon becomes another.

Michael regularly checks in to see how Adam’s getting on, in a way that Kevin assures Adam is entirely appropriate, since Michael is under the impression that Adam is going to be a fellow monarch someday, and is likely trying to be courteous. Adam inherently feels somewhat flustered around Michael though, which is not helped by the fact that Michael is somehow always present whenever Adam puts his foot in his mouth socially. On more than one occasion, he’s thankful that almost no one has actually been to his homeland, allowing Adam to blame an astonishing number of fuck ups on cultural differences.

Michael and Adam’s early one on one interaction are intensely awkward. Adam will forget to wear gloves, and then Michael will comment that Adam’s hands are oddly devoid of callouses for someone who’d practically been raised with a sword in his hand, leaving Adam to scramble for some flimsy excuse about hand cream. Adam will inquisitively ask questions about what sort of illness would be severe enough to leave someone bedridden for a decade but not kill them in that time (Kevin frantically motioning over Michael’s shoulder to convey that that is NOT the right way to fish for details on such a sensitive subject), and Michael will struggle to find an excuse around the quietly bubbling panic, because he hasn’t had to try to explain anything about his father since that first year, and he is not a particularly gifted liar.

And then there’s Raphael.

Unlike Michael, Raphael is suspicious of “Dean” right from the start, pulling Michael aside to point out things that don’t seem quite right according to what their informants have told them about Dean Winchester.

“Doesn’t he look a bit young?”

“Some people look younger than they are, Raphael.”

“I was told Dean Winchester had dark hair.”

“Dark blond is dark.”

“Aren’t his eyes supposed to be green?”

“They’re obviously blue.”

“That’s exactly my point.”

The forty days come and go with Adam and Kevin nervously waiting for some sort of sign from home. Roughly two weeks later, a messenger arrives with unexpected news for Michael’s court: the Campbells have officially broken ties with the Winchesters in a violent bid for power that has left the kingdom at war with itself.

According to Kevin, the civil war has probably slowed things down a bit, if it’s as bad as the rumors say. . .

Adam and Kevin are stranded.

“Don’t worry though—I know Dean, and he knows our necks are on the line. He’ll keep out of sight until they manage to get us out of here.”

Adam finds it difficult to put faith in the virtues of a brother he’s never met, but doesn’t have it in him to question Kevin’s faith. He worries about his mother, who might have been safe in the countryside, but also might have made the trek to the capitol when it came out that Adam had been abducted for the sake of persevering the royal family's throne. He can’t be sure.

And to top it off, Michael takes to stopping by Adam’s room every couple of days to privately talk about the movements of the various factions—who has been sighted where and in what condition, where they’re rumored to be headed. Adam interprets it as an attempt to shake out inside information. One day, Adam finally tries to set him straight by saying it doesn’t matter how many ugly details Michael throws at him, Adam can’t help him because he doesn’t know anything—and is promptly put to shame when Michael looks at him in surprise and says, “You misunderstand. I assumed that you would want to know these things, because they are your family.”

Michael leaves, and Adam’s guards exchange a look. When asked, Samandriel awkwardly tells Adam that the royal family used to have a fourth child. Gabriel. He was lost during Lucifer’s insurrection. Pirates overtook his ship. They’d never received a ransom. Michael had purportedly offered a standing reward for any news of Gabriel, and put an unwise amount of resources into searching for him until it threatened the war effort.

Adam and Michael start talking more frequently from there, starting with an apology on Adam’s part. It’s tricky at first, because Michael starts out asking questions about Dean Winchester's military exploits—it is the most likely common ground between them, after all—and Adam has to hastily change the subject every time. By the two month mark, they’re talking affably, and rumors start to circulate through the courts as Michael's routine check ins on Adam start getting less formal and more frequent.

On the four month mark, rumors get even worse. Raphael finally sits Michael down and really gets into all of the things about “Dean” that don’t add up, item by item. If he’s trying to pretend he doesn’t know anything about his country’s military exploits, he’s far too convincing given his reported record, and Raphael has it on good authority that more than half of those “cultural differences” in etiquette that keep cropping up are completely unfounded—and look here, three different informants have sent lists of Dean Winchester’s physical characteristics, and the foreign prince DOES NOT MATCH.

“Michael, something is not right here.”

“Fine, I’ll talk to him about it now.”

And Michael storms off to address “Dean,” while Raphael calls after him that he should wait until morning. Because it is the middle of the night.

Adam just happens to be up reading. Michael’s familiar with the book. Michael gets distracted, and they talk all night. The sun’s coming up when Michael finally leaves, and a servant happens to see him slipping out of Adam’s room. Suggestive conjectures promptly follow, and Raphael exasperatedly admits they only have themself to blame.

And this only gets worse, because now Adam and Michael have transitioned into being friends. No more guarded conversations where one is convinced the other is about to catch them in some sort of lie. When Raphael mentions that some of the lesser nobles are starting to think Michael and Adam are courting, Michael’s fidgeting is not at all lost on them, as Michael assures them that of course that isn't the case. He and Dean are merely establishing friendly relations that will serve them well down the road politically—

“After the war is over?”

“Of course, after the war is over.”

Adam’s been stranded in the Shurley court for almost a year by the time that he finally slips into his room and sees a sealed message set out on his bed. Adam doesn’t recognize the insignia as belonging to either the Winchesters or the Campbells, but it’s signed with the initials “SW” at the bottom. It mostly contains a lot of vague phrases that make Adam wonder if he was supposed to be versed in some sort of code. As far as he’s concerned, the only important information comes at the end: Kate Milligan has been safely relocated for the duration of the civil war.

Relieved, Adam goes down to dinner, where some sort of seasonal holiday is being celebrated, and has a bit more wine than he normally would. The Shurley court is one of those stuffy courts where seating is stiffly dictated by tradition. As a foreign prince, Adam’s assigned seat is at the same table as Michael, although, according to Kevin, his placement's much further down due to his being a hostage. After a few drinks, and after most of the nobles have cleared off from the table to talk and celebrate elsewhere in the hall, Adam sees no reason not to get up and relocate down the line of chairs to sit closer to Michael. It was against the rules, but Adam was aware enough not to sit in Raphael’s empty seat, and he’d been seen with Michael so often that Anael and Samandriel barely even blinked, because Adam obviously wasn’t about to attack their prince or anything.

However, it is worth noting that while talking to Adam, Michael consumes a decent amount more wine than he would normally have as well.

Later that night, Michael’s walking Adam back to his room, and he starts to comment that Adam seems happier than usual. But even when sober, Michael would struggle to say something like that—if he’d even attempt it while sober—and Adam winds up biting his lip as he watches Michael’s mounting embarrassment, as a simple compliment inexplicably morphs—words seemingly forcing their way out as Michael tries and utterly fails to stop them—into a compliment about how Adam is beautiful—that is, he’s always beautiful—that is, Michael can’t help noticing Adam most days—that is. . .

. . .Michael is adorable. And in a moment of pure, thoughtless impulse, Adam leans in and kisses Michael right there in the corridor.

Michael is profoundly shocked, and his reaction delayed. Adam had only gone in intending to briefly press his lips against Michael’s, but as he’s pulling away Michael abruptly leans in and reseals the kiss, and Adam in turn takes that as an invitation to pull Michael closer. And a few minutes later, Raphael happens to walk down the hallway and find the two of them enthusiastically kissing against the wall.

And Raphael promptly turns around and goes back the way they came, only stopping at one point to flag down a servant and order them not to let anyone else walk down that particular corridor for at least an hour, hoping that Michael and Adam’s “friendly relations” wouldn’t result in anything too inappropriate.

As it happens, nothing particularly inappropriate happens. Nonetheless, Michael still wakes up the next morning, fully clothed in his own bed, in panic because the first thought to distinctly make its way through the ungodly pain in his head is that he’d taken liberties with a guest the night before. The heir to a foreign power at that, a peer, a hostage! Michael never thought he was capable of something so dishonorable--he’d had Dean pressed up against the wall as if they were a couple of ill-bred urchins, and how does one even go about apologizing for something like that?

(Of course, if Michael were thinking clearly, he might have remembered that Adam had actually been the one to back himself up against the wall, with Michael obligingly following along, quite malleable to whatever positioning Adam wanted so long as Adam kept kissing him.)

Michael’s behavior was beyond unacceptable. If his father hadn’t already abandoned them, he’d likely disown Michael out of pure shame. There was no telling what kind of damage he’d done to the relationship between their kingdoms. At best, Michael’s uncouth actions would be a dirty secret between them in the years to come, after Dean married, and Michael was left barely able to look Dean’s spouse in the eye. If Michael were a lesser noble, his parents might demand he married Dean outright.

And suddenly Michael sat up in bed, realizing he could marry Dean. His mind begins racing, because of course he could marry Dean! It made perfect sense. They enjoyed each other’s company, and with both of them being heir to their respective kingdoms, their union would effectively end the war. It might be complicated—especially given some of the odd customs Dean had introduced to Michael’s court—but marriages had been used to cemented alliances often enough, and the thought of marrying Dean elicited a curiously hot feeling in Michael’s stomach, remembering the way Adam had pulled him close the night before.

(Fun fact, England and France actually did try to do this with the Treaty of Troyes in 1420; it did not go as planned.)

Michael goes through the rest of his day in an uncharacteristically upbeat mindset, because now it all seems to just be a matter of organizing things, and he is good at organizing. He would have to write to either John or Mary Winchester as soon as the situation in their kingdom settled, and formally ask for Dean’s hand, and he and Dean should have a chaperone present at all times moving forward to avoid scandal--though there would be no way to sidestep scandal altogether, of course. Adam was still technically Michael’s prisoner.

More than likely, the Winchesters or Campbells would demand Michael relinquish his claim to at least half of the territories that they’d spent the last few decades fighting over, but that would be fine. It’s traditional in Michael’s country to give gifts to one’s in-laws, and Dean is a future monarch. Anything too little would be insulting, and all would be consolidated eventually when Dean and Michael assumed their respective thrones. . .

Michael is still walking around delightfully living in his own head when Raphael pulls him into an empty room to discuss what they witnessed the night before. While not the most shocking scenario they could have imagined, they were not expecting to hear their brother announce that he and Dean Winchester would be getting married.

“And how are we to explain away our father’s absence during the proceedings, Michael?”

Michael’s good mood promptly withers. Because of course Chuck would be expected to play some part in arranging his son’s wedding. Ill or not, at the very least, he would be expected to make an appearance at the wedding. To have no part in it at all would be suspicious, not to mention rude.

While Raphael intended to snap Michael back to his senses, they had not meant to shake Michael into an immediate depression. They try for a gentler tone.

“You know, Michael. Our father has been gone for over a decade. He left no formal plans, he's sent no word. By any standard, he's abdicated. Perhaps this isn’t the right time to introduce a political marriage. Perhaps we should consider your assuming the kingship, and then come back around to formalizing your relationship with Dean—”

Michael, of course, is against this. Because their father is alive, and he will come back, and it will not be to find that another one of his sons had greedily tried to usurp the throne.

Seeing Michael about to fall back onto a familiar tangent, Raphael chooses the lesser of two evils and takes the conversation back to “Dean.” They ask which out of the two of them proposed to the other.

Michael abruptly realizes that he's forgotten something.

Meanwhile, Adam starts his morning on a much happier note. His headache is less punishing than Michael’s, and while feeling the normal amount of embarrassment that comes with drinking a little too much, the feeling does not extend to kissing Michael. His mother’s safe, he’s nailing his Dean impression, and Michael apparently likes him. Things could not be better. Until Adam remembers how the latter two items on that list are linked.

Michael is not like a classmate back home, who he could chat up, get a drink with, and maybe start seeing regularly if all things went well. Michael is, in fact, the acting ruler of one of the most powerful countries in the world, which just so happens to be at war with Adam’s, and under the explicit impression that Adam is similarly situated in the world.

Adam promptly begins freaking out.

And then Michael finds him.

Adam’s in the library at the time. Michael walks in and quietly dismisses Adam’s guards, and Kevin, leaving the two of them completely alone. Adam doesn’t realize what Michael’s doing right away, though he’s spent enough time with Michael to recognize how nervous he is as he starts talking about a proposal to end the war—selling the idea, as if Michael wouldn’t be enough on his own—and then sheepishly tapering into the idea that both he and Adam seem to have feelings for one another. And if Adam were able to go back in time and strangle his tipsy past self, he would, because then he wouldn’t have to see the look on Michael’s face when he says no.

And no, Michael does not understand.

Adam can hear years of living in the public eye at work in Michael voice, as he just manages to keep his voice level in asking, “Even if it would mean peace?”

"I'm sorry, I just—I can't."

". . .I see."

Michael excuses himself, and Adam collapses onto a couch, assuring himself that no was the only right answer, and he shouldn’t feel terrible—which, of course, since Adam’s spent the last couple of months flirting with Michael while posing as someone else, is not an easy idea to buy into.

Michael and Adam avoid eye contact at dinner, even as Raphael—who has zero doubts as to who initiated what the night before—practically burns holes into Adam’s skin with the looks they shoot down the table.

And then a messenger comes in. One of the wealthiest duchies in the kingdom (the same one that had once supported Lucifer, and of course would be populated with demon characters in the narrative) has declared its independence, having formed an alliance with the Campbells, and has launched an attack not far from the castle. Several villages have already been attacked along the way. Michael accompanies the armed forces he sends out to quash the uprising.

Raphael is left behind to fortify the castle and take in the refugees, who the messenger assured them are not far behind. Unlike Michael, Raphael rarely saw combat. Officially, it was because Raphael had adamantly insisted on training as a healer rather than a warrior, which was true enough. Unofficially though, Michael and Raphael are both fully aware that if anything happened to Michael, Raphael is the only one left to inherent the crown.

Samandirel and Anael escort Adam back to his room. Samandriel assures Adam that no one thinks he had anything to do with the duchy double crossing them, but it would probably just be safer for Adam to stay out of sight until things calm down. Anael is more closed-lipped about the situation.

From his window, Adam watches the first of the villagers come trickling in, and even from his vantage point he can make out burn wounds, makeshift bandages and hastily thrown together tourniquets, and he’s in hell, because it seems the only two options in front of him are to worry about Michael, or feel absolutely sick with guilt because he’s a trained physician and he should be down there helping.

Finally he pokes his head out into the corridor and asks if someone can find Kevin for him. Anael raises an eyebrow that “Dean,” who’s usually inordinately self-suffice for a prince, is suddenly insisting that he needs to see his manservant, but Samandriel is already helpfully heading down the hall. A few minutes later, Kevin is in Adam’s room, confused, as Adam asks him to take off his clothes.

“You can have mine, just switch with me, okay?”

“Uuh. . . Don’t you think mine will be a little tight on you—”

“Less talk! Strip!”

Michael had probably errored in assigning the same two guards to watch over Adam. After a year, the three of them had gotten to be on fairly familiar terms. Adam waited until Samandriel started to get chatty, and slipped quietly out of his room when Anael was distracted—neither of them having had any reason to think Adam would try to escape, because he had been nothing but compliant since the day he arrived.

From there, he goes straight to the infirmary.

Raphael had set up tents in the courtyard to accommodate the high number of people in need of care. Adam was a year out of practice, but the atmosphere was still familiar to him, and he slipped into the chaos unnoticed. Raphael doesn’t notice him until they are well into the thick of things, and Adam’s as covered in grime and gore as anyone else present. Adam had just gone for more bandages and the two of them nearly ran into each other, and for a split second Adam thinks Raphael just might not recognize him until hand closes around his arm like a vice.

“What exactly are YOU doing here?”

Then Raphael notices the stitches Adam had just finished putting in for his latest patient—and Adam’s stitchwork is immaculate, not the clumsy, half-hazard work of a solider who picked up the mechanics of it over the course of their career.

"YOU did that?"

Adam starts to fumble out an answer, but they are interrupted because then Michael is being brought in. The fighting is over. Raphael and Adam promptly drop everything.

Michael has a concussion. He’s also been lightly stabbed. You know, just lightly. Needs stitches though. Raphael is adamant that Adam leave immediately, but Michael, who is delirious, sees Adam and absolutely refuses to let Raphael send him away. Raphael winds up patching Michael together while Adam—annoyingly, to Raphael—is sat next to him, holding Michael’s hand. Adam winds up sitting next to Michael all night, because it’s the only way to keep Michael from getting up and tearing his stitches like a feverish moron.

Initially, Raphael refuses to leave too, not trusting their brother’s suspiciously competent love interest, whose family was purportedly allied with the traitors who’d just attacked their people. There are still more wounded to tend to, however, and Raphael begrudgingly has to step away—making sure to leave orders that a guard be present in the room the entire time that Raphael is gone.

Little does Raphael know, Adam would have lowkey given a limb to have Raphael stay. Michael’s demeanor is a lot less closed off when he’s feverish and concussed. Shortly after Raphael leaves, Michael starts apologizing for proposing earlier, and Adam feels like he’s been stabbed in the gut. And as he’s lying there, looking at Adam’s hand in his, Michael starts saying things he would not normally blurt out—like that ending the war was not the main reason he wanted to marry Adam, because the last year has been the best he can remember, and it is entirely due to spending time with Adam—even if Adam was only there by obligation—and he would do anything to make Adam happy, even if they weren’t together—and Adam is just stuck there, highkey dying on the inside.

Then Michael sees his face.

"I apologize, you’ve already said you do not want to marry me, I should not have brought this up—”

Michael starts to get out of bed completely unconcerned about his stab wounds, and as Adam’s pushing him back down, the words “That’s not true!” just sort of. . .fly out.

Then Michael’s suddenly looking at Adam, and his face is suddenly very sober, and Adam can feel his own face turning red.

"That is, I. . ." Adam realizes, suddenly, that he’s fucked. Telling Michael the truth is somehow both the right and wrong thing to do at the same time, and Michael is definitely in no condition to hear it either way. “How about, if you still want to marry me when all this is over, then I’ll say yes?”

The next morning is a string of stressful events for Adam. Raphael shooed him out of Michael room at dawn, and Adam went straight back to his own. Kevin, Samandriel, and Anael had all been reprimanded for Adam’s escape, with the latter two being replaced as Adam’s guard under Raphael’s orders. His first interaction with Ishim and Maribel does not bode well for them becoming friends.

When Adam tells Kevin that he’s thinking about coming clean to Michael, Kevin panics. News from the Winchesters had dried up weeks ago, even for Michael and Raphael’s sources. Kevin argues that they’d be better off attempting to escape on their own if the charade was getting to be too much for Adam, especially after last night—but even then, they should wait awhile longer. Why take any chances right now? And Adam doesn’t know how to go about explaining the why. . .

And it gets taken out of his hands anyway, when they step out of the room and find that it’s somehow leaked that Adam and Michael—who had completely misunderstood what Adam meant by “when all this is over”—are engaged.

Kevin doesn’t get another moment alone with Adam to discuss how stupidly dangerous this whole situation is, and Adam, no matter how hard he tries—can’t seem to get a moment alone with his fiancé to try to explain that the situation is not what he thinks it is. Everyone had vastly underestimated how far the rumors about Michael and Adam secretly courting had gone, and Adam can barely take three steps without a noble or courtier or someone pulling him aside to offer their congratulations, and as Adam gets closer to Michael’s chambers, there’s Raphael, circling like a shark and Adam does not want to make his confession to Raphael before he sees Michael.

Come dinner time, Adam finds that his seat had been reassigned. He now sits directly to Michael’s left. He keeps trying to convince Michael to step out into the hall with him for a second, while Raphael, seated in their normal place to Michael’s right, continuously circumvents him, firmly believing that Adam has done more than enough in private.

Then there’s a scream. A servant comes running out into the dining hall, carrying a bloody knife. They run up to Michael—up until the guards step forward to stop her, but she’s not attacking. Instead she hands over the knife and says that she found in the corridor outside the king’s chambers. She had been worried, so she broke protocol and went in. The king’s bed was drenched in blood.

Adam looks over and feels a chill when he recognizes the same knife that had been included in the murder kit he found in his room on day one.

If Raphael had looked up, Adam had no doubt that Raphael would have read something in his face, but they didn’t get the chance to. Michael and Raphael are busy staring at each, the only ones in the room who know beyond any doubt that the implication could not be true, because there had not been anyone in that bed to assassinate in over ten years. Neither of them is given the chance to try to spin the knife’s implications in any direction, however. While the court is still reeling in shocked silence, a guard walks in—completely oblivious—and announces that a messenger has arrived with urgent news.

Adam looks up, and finds he has room to panic more, when he sees Anna Milton walk in, a serving maid in the Winchester court, and as she drops a curtsey to Michael, she identifies herself as one of Raphael’s spies. She had held her place in the Winchester court for as long as she could, but when her real identity had been uncovered she’d had no choice but to flee, and she’s come with monumental news. The civil war across the channel has ended, the Campbells having been forced to seek asylum with their allies outside the kingdom, John Winchester deposed, and Dean Winchester installed on the throne in his place. She had witnessed his coronation herself the very day they identified her.

And Adam feels very cold, as if his blood had actually managed to turn into ice, which would have explained why he couldn’t seem to move, as every eye in the room immediately turns to him.

And that would be the end of part one.

#midam #adam milligan #supernatural michael #samandriel #supernatural raphael #anael #kevin tran #my thougths #i'm very tempted to throw jack in a joan-of-arc-inspired role

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thesoulspulse · 3 years

Text

When Blue Eyes Meet (Good Vlad AU ~ Oneshot)

Summary: I couldn't sleep and got this beautifully heartfelt idea in my head about how my Good Vlad met his cat Madison for the first time and how she helped turn his life around. It's about she adopted him, sensing how bad Vlad needed a friend after Jack and Maddie moved on with their lives until they finally meet again at their college reunion. Warning, this mentions character death.

Vlad's POV

I'll never forget that day, the day I met a very special little lady.

I had only been fully discharged from the hospital for a few weeks but...after I insisted on making sure Jack and Maddie could move on with their own lives without me since I wouldn't drag them down, but once returned home I was suddenly reminded of how alone in the world I really was now. Both my parents had passed away before I started my freshman year of college but they left me with everything I would need to secure a bright future, even the house which gave me a place to return to in the first place since we had no idea the accident would result in me being bedridden for several years.

But as soon as I stepped inside the house, just like my heart it felt so...hollow.

The warmth I used to feel there was long gone, and it had nothing to do with still needing to pay the heating bill. And I suppose it's fortunate that the money I had set aside to pay for my school supplies and my half of the rent was enough to pay for my hospital bills so I had just enough left over to invest in gaining a new lease on life after the accident. It would take time, but I was confident I would be able to go back and continue my studies eventually, but for now I need to focus on figuring out how to cope with the other huge transformation I had undergone.

I almost had to laugh at the irony because perhaps I'm only living a half-life since the accident turned me half-ghost. It was difficult at first, hiding the truth about my condition not only from Jack and Maddie, but the nurses and doctors as well. Thankfully, I inherited my father's sharp wits and managed to conceal my powers fairly well. As for the rest, it was just easier to let people assume they were only seeing things whenever they saw a strange light or my hand seemed to pass through solid objects. After all, who would ever believe that a human with ghost powers could possibly exist...?

Still, I suppose one good thing about returning to that house is that it was nice to finally be able to relax somewhat knowing I wouldn't need to hide my powers from anyone, or at least not nearly as often when I was still a patient. I would still have to be careful if someone came to visit me, but honestly the odds of that happening ere highly unlikely. I say this because I have no living relatives left. No parents, no cousins or siblings, just me.

Sighing I set down my bags and started unpacking boxes. I needed something else to occupy my thoughts because I still hadn't quite gotten over the fact that I lost my scholarship. Realistically I knew that couldn't be helped given what happened to me so instead I turned my attention to the things I still could control, such as ensuring I still had a place to live since I was no longer a student and Jack wasn't my roommate anymore.

Speaking of which, right from the start I wanted make sure to avoid living somewhere with too many people around so although my original plan was to move back here after graduation I made the decision to return to this town ahead of schedule in light of my extenuating circumstances.

There were still faint traces of my old life here back from when my parents were still alive such as my father's desk and my mother's cooking supplies. And quite honestly, being back here and suddenly feeling their absence all over again...it made me sad. I missed them, just as much I miss Jack and Maddie but I had to start moving on too. So I shook my head, turned our old record player, and kept myself busy by unpacking my belongings.

Luckily I had everything I owned in the dorm moved here after it became painfully clear I wouldn't be able to attend classes anymore due to my critical condition. Jack and Maddie offered to do it for me personally but I declined their kind off because for one thing I didn't want them to find out where I live before I had enough time to gain full control of my powers, and for another I wanted to make a clean break for their sake...

I was dangerous to be around whether I liked it or not so exposing them to danger while my powers were still a bit difficult to control was not a risk I was willing to take. Especially since those two are all I had left and someday...I really hoped I'd be able to meet them again and tell them the truth about my powers. But until then, all I could do was try my best to start over and hope for the best.

Once I settled in, I began testing out my powers more, taking notes, pushing my limits, and yet the more I learned about myself the more I wished I had someone to share my discoveries with. Jack could be overzealous at times, but I missed how excited we both felt after making a new discovery about ghosts or ectoplasmic energy. And Maddie, she always knew how to reign us in so we could look at things more objectively even though she was usually just as eager to find out more too.

Having no one left to talk to or come home to had finally started to get to me and sadly as a result that's when the nightmares started up again too. Just like back in the hospital I would wake up in a cold sweat, clutching the sheets in both fists as the ghostly blue glow of my eyes cast flickering shadows on the walls. I had gotten careless because I thought I would be alright as long as I didn't have to worry about a doctor or a nurse walking in at any second and seeing my eyes glowing in the darkness.

That's when I realized I had to do something about this before things escalated even further and my emotions spiraled out of control again without some sort of outlet. I needed to make a connection, a way to overcome this shadow looming over me, so I considered seeing a therapist to prevent these nightmares from overtaking me. But I was afraid that if I did talk to someone...what if I became too emotional and exposed my powers to them? That could be a huge problem. I could always overshadow them, but I'd still be avoiding dealing with this terrible helplessness I felt.

That day, I was wandering around town in a daze, conflicted about how to deal with the problem when I happened to enter a local animal shelter. The people at the front desk were friendly, but I had never considered how my...ghostly attributes might make most animals wary of me since they have a sixth sense for the supernatural which quite honestly made me feel even more detached from the person I once was. As a boy I got along well with most animals but I never felt particularly attached to them. Dogs were a bit too energetic for my tastes and I had to deal with that enough with Jack but cats on the other hand, well I have always appreciated their independent spirit but I never considered them to be very affectionate animals...

That all changed the instant I saw her.

On my way out the door after satisfying my idle curiosity about how animals seem to perceive me now that I'm only half human I noticed this sleek black kitten staring directly at me with the most stunning blue eyes I've ever seen and when our eyes met, what I felt...I can't even describe it. It felt as though she was looking right at me, into my heart, and for the first time since the accident, it was like someone had noticed how lost I was and there was this unmistakable look of gentle sympathy in her eyes.

Mesmerized by her gaze, I turned around and asked the person at the desk more about her and they told me she had been abandoned which I could relate to to some degree. To be fair I hadn't been abandoned necessarily, but I felt that way sometimes since it was gradually becoming harder and harder to wake up alone in that empty house every morning, not sure what I should be doing with the rest of my life now that I'm all alone and don't have friends to confide in anymore I can visit whenever I want.

Impulsively I asked if I could hold her and they agreed, smiling at me secretively as if they already knew I felt an instant attachment to her and as soon as they handed her to me...she clung to me like her life depended on it and then crawled up onto my shoulders, wrapping her tiny body around my neck as much as possible and as soon as she was comfortable she started purring. It was like a hug of sorts and I had no idea how starved for the gentle contact from another living creature of any kind from someone that wasn't just another doctor poking and prodding me that all I remember is falling to my knees soon after, sobbing and resting my cheek against her head as she rubbed against me, licking away my tears.

Finally, I thought, this is what I've been searching for ever since I came home. I've missed having someone there who cares about me, someone to remind me that I'm not alone, someone who can stay by my side so I don't have to suffer in silence anymore without a friend there to comfort me just when I start to think I can't bear it anymore.

I'm sure everyone who saw me that day were just as stunned as I was by my meltdown, but I didn't care. I needed her. And she needed me, no, for reasons I cannot even begin to fathom she WANTED to be with me and no one else. It's like she had been waiting for me to walk in that door from the very start. Waiting for me to give her a home, a family, and most importantly...a name. And that name would become a bond that could never be broken, not even after her tragic death some years later when she returned to my side once more as a ghost because she knew I still desperately needed a friend-

And that's how Madison became my closest and dearest companion.

We’ve been inseparable ever since.

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paperpennies · 3 years

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Please tell me about your AU idea where Sasha and Milla meet in Brazil as teenagers and basically end up long-distance dating before either of them become Psychonauts ^_^

Oh hey look at that, totally out of nowhere, not prompted by me at all! (@2somethingelseyoumightknow2 and @strawberry-et also asked me about it but it seems redundant to answer three separate asks. I didn’t think three people would actually do it lol. Also sorry for taking 8 years to answer.) This idea came out of just smushing two thoughts together. Then I got weirdly attached. Buckle in; it’s gonna be pretty long. Under a cut to avoid annoying feed scrolling.

So, AU is: Sasha mom lives, meaning he turns out a lot better emotionally adjusted since he grows up with at least one attentive parent. His dad is better too- still pretty emotionally constipated but not, like, broken the way he is in canon. The family also has 4-5 more kids after Sasha. This does mean they’re pretty poor but they do okay.

His mother is a schoolteacher, who is somewhat unusual in the time period for working and being a mom of a big family at the same time. She and Sasha are quite close; he gets a lot of his intellectual and curious side from her. In his eyes, he’s much more like her than like his dad (although people who know them both would say he’s a lot more like his father than he thinks). His mother also knows about his psychic powers, having noticed them as soon as they started showing up, but his dad and siblings (probably) don’t.

The story starts when Sasha is 14-15 years old. He’s getting increasingly bored living in a small rural town with few opportunities related to his interests, and his developing psychic powers (and probable undiagnosed autism) make things even more complicated and difficult for him. His mother gets an opportunity, probably with some kind of charity organization, to go teach German/English and maybe other stuff in Brazil for a while. She decides to take it, and take Sasha with her so he can have some different life experiences. She also takes his youngest sister along, since she’s still very little and dad’s already going to be left alone with three other kids.

(Also, my assumed age for Sasha and Milla in the games is like mid-30s, which, if the games take place in mid/late 80s, would mean they were born in the mid-50s. That means they would be 14-15 in the late 60s. So that’s the timeline I’m going with here.)

So they go to Brazil. The school Sasha’s mom is working at is either at or associated with an orphanage- maybe a church that has a school and an orphanage. Of course, Milla is there. I don’t have a lot of the details locked in here. It’s hard because we know nothing about Milla’s family or life before she was working at the orphanage, so I’m really just pulling this out of nowhere to fit in with this AU. For the purposes of this, she has no family and is living at the orphanage and going to the school there (even though that’s sad and I kinda don’t like it. May change it. Hm.)

Anyway, Sasha’s mom is teaching at the school; Sasha is doing basically independent study. I also haven’t decided if Milla is in his mom’s classes, because I haven’t decided what age group(s) she’s teaching. Either Milla’s in her classes or gets employed (or volunteers) to babysit Sasha’s little sister and that’s how she comes to be around. Oh, and also for the purposes of this, Sasha’s mom already spoke Portuguese before this, and Sasha’s been learning it prior to arriving there, so he’s like conversational at least.

Either way, Sasha and Milla meet. Despite having some initial personality conflict, they find they have a weird connection to each other. Milla is curious about this feeling and interprets it as maybe being a crush, although it feels a little bit different. She decides to try and befriend him to understand it better, and also because that’s just what Milla does. She’s the sort of person who makes people her friends half-against-their-will just by being friendly and caring consistently until they can’t deny that they’re friends.

Sasha, meanwhile, is wary of her and her enthusiasm because he’s not great with the social stuff, especially with the culture and language gaps at play. He’s also wary of the feeling because it seems psychic-related, but he doesn’t know what that means. Plus Milla is like super pretty and nice and he gets tongue-tied and red-faced whenever she talks to him, but he definitely doesn’t like her shut up Mom.

Over time, Milla’s determination prevails, and they become genuine friends. He hides the fact that he’s psychic at first, but eventually does tell her. He asks her if she’s sure she’s not psychic, because she really seems psychic somehow. She doesn’t think she is, but he theorizes she’s probably not quite normal, at least, and that’s where the connection they’ve felt from the beginning comes from.

Since they’re actually perfect for each other, their friendship grows deeper over the months they spend hanging out. By the time Sasha has to leave, they’ve developed real romantic (in a 14-15 year old way) feelings for each other. They don’t ever really talk about it, but promise to write.

And they do. Sasha’s siblings start referring to the girl he writes to as his girlfriend to tease/annoy him, but eventually it sticks. He stops protesting, although he never confirms whether or not it’s true, and it starts being matter-of-fact to them instead of a joke. On Milla’s side, she still talks about him to her friends like he’s still there, and she gets the penpal-boyfriend teasing, too. It doesn’t really bug her, though. They save up money over a few years to go and visit each other, and talk about their relationship enough to be sort of “official”. It’s rough since they rarely get to see each other in person or even talk on the phone, but they keep going.

Years pass, and some things change and others don’t. Sasha mother dies when he’s in his late teens, and he and his dad start having bigger and bigger issues between them in the wake of greiving. He leaves home as soon as he’s sure his younger siblings will be fine without him around. Out and about in the world, he gets recruited into the Psychonauts within the next few years (the specifics of this don’t matter too much for this AU). Milla goes on to work in her orphanage, the thing she’s most passionate about. They still keep close in touch, and get to see each other a more often now that they’re grown up and Sasha has better access to international travel. They finally decide “okay yes, we really are actually dating” even though it’s still long distance. Sasha’s colleagues 100% do not believe his story about having a beautiful long-distance girlfriend in Brazil, because that would sound fake af even if wasn’t coming from the very serious, not-romantic-at-all Sasha. Even his picture of them together does not convince them.

Then, the thing happens. Milla’s orphanage burns down, and her psychic powers finally fully awaken. Because of her knowledge of psychics, she realizes what’s happening, but it’s still a horrifically traumatic event. Sasha takes a leave period to come and help her, finds that it’s even more serious than he’d expected, and puts her in touch with the Psychonauts directly for some better assistance. He’s too close to her to do more than an initial check-up himself.

They find Milla has a lot of potential and extend an offer to join the intern program (which at that time spans a larger age range than later on). She rejects the offer at first, tries to go back to her life, but later decides she needs to make a complete change and accepts. Sasha’s colleagues are shocked to find out she is indeed real. She graduates first out of her class, as one of the best levitators the organization has ever seen. Technically, she and Sasha aren’t supposed to be romantically involved as agents, but the Psychonauts have always been pretty loosey-goosey about that rule (given the history of its founders).

So that was a novel in length. It’s not necessarily that interesting in this form, but there’s the AU. I think the interest would be the specifics of how their relationship would play out as a story, if they met young enough and under the right circumstances to not to get stuck in the hang-ups their relationship has in canon. If you read this far, tell me what you think! Thoughts, feelings, emotional outbursts?

#SashaMilla #Sasha Nein #Milla Vodello #AU #Psychonauts #It's not as super different as like the vampire one people have going but I think there's interesting things to explore there #I wanna do some art for it but I wanna do art for a lot of things #so it may not happen

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