#why is it so hard to believe i may actually *have* a problem that shouldn't even be a question at this point

[blue-madd]

Funny how I still doubt having MaDD whenever I see people talking about how "it's not MaDD if it doesn't have any negative impacts on your life" & I'm literally out there, destroying my present *and* future life by letting myself drown in my daydreams but oh wow where is the negativity in that? I'm probably just lying to myself HaHa~

I'm convinced my inability to do shit because I'm too stuck in my head will eventually kill me (sooner than later) but my imposter syndrome is still going strong

#i mean wtf how can i be so Delusional!!?!?? #why is it so hard to believe i may actually *have* a problem that shouldn't even be a question at this point #i've just been out there waiting for death for like Years bc i couldnt be bother to do shit instead of daydreaming #the only reason im alive rn is just pure luck (+ outsiders caring about me) & im still gonna keep fucking it up i am so Tired with my shit #but guess what? ill just daydream about screaming to my own self to get it together without actually doing anything. as always #such a loser move wow #madd problems #madd negativity #madd

[sweettjrose]

Quick question for you cuz you seem to know very well the little guy

Do you think Mickey has any bad sides? Bad qualities/Habits

Ooh! I was hoping someone would ask this question. It was sitting in my mind for a while. I love sharing my thoughts on this little guy.

I do think it is important to remember that when it comes to characters like Mickey it can be challenging to ascribe specific traits to him since there are so many interpretations with differing personalities. Mickey in the black and white shorts is different from Mickey in the Gottfredson comics who is different from Mickey in the Paul Rudish shorts and etc. So some traits may fit better for some versions than others.

I don't know if I can say I am the Mickey expert. But I do think about him a lot and if I came up a list of what I think are bad habits or flaws that he has, based on how is generally portrayed and my own personal interpretation, I would say:

Stubborn - To start off, I feel like a common flaw for Mickey is his stubbornness. Once he sets his mind on a certain idea or situation, he has a hard time being convinced of anything else. It can be really difficult to change his mind, though not impossible. I don't think it comes from a place of seeing himself as better than anyone though, but rather from his desire to hold fast to what he believes in. And in some cases, it can have beneficial results. Such as when he is investigating some kind of mystery he tends to drop everything else, unable to change focus until he finally solves it. This usually gives him the push to solve problems most people give up on. But unfortunately, it tends to result in him ignoring the world around him which can be frustrating at times, especially for Minnie. Sometimes I think Mickey even uses these situations as an excuse to push aside things he doesn't want to do and focus on something he would much rather do.

Untamed Curiosity - I feel like this is actually an offshoot of his earlier personality. He was much more mischievous in his earlier appearances, but that was somewhat tamed over the years. However, I do think one element that has remained is this mouse's curiosity for the unknown. It seems like Mickey can't help himself but stick his nose into things he probably shouldn't. Whether it is listening to a conversation, checking a locked room, testing out a weird machine, or even following an odd feeling. I also feel like his stubbornness doesn't really help as it seems like once a curiosity is in his focus, he can't let it go. Mickey rarely likes to cause problems, but if his curiosity overtakes him, he usually ends up being a troublemaker. Sometimes this usually leads to him catching a crook. But other times it results in a big mess that he would have to clean up. I do think though that his mischievousness isn't entirely gone and does pop up every once in a while. Especially when trying to get out of things he finds boring or doesn't want to be in. And sometimes he just wants to be a prankster and have fun with his friends and family. Which is funny until things get out of hand.

Overthinks - Mickey is very intelligent and can come up with pretty clever plans when trying to solve problems. Unfortunately, this comes with the side effect of him overcomplicating even simple situations. This is usually why Goofy is such a vital friend for Mickey. Mickey tends to come up with complex solutions while Goofy tends to show the easier option Mickey tends to overlook. I think part of this does come from Mickey being afraid of being wrong and making mistakes, so he tries his best to be as thorough as he can be, which unfortunately can lead to more mistakes.

Lack of Self-Protection - One positive about Mickey is that he cares about others and would stand up to protect them. But unfortunately, this doesn't always extend to himself. He is not a doormat but tends to lean more "Turn the other Cheek" approach when he is the only one getting bullied (unless things go too far or if others get involved). To be fair, it is important to know when to pick your battles, but this tends to lead into other areas as I feel like he doesn't really share his problems and tends to keep personal issues to himself. I personally see him as the kind of guy you really have to pry to get him to talk about what he is feeling as he would much rather bottle it up to not cause any trouble. I also feel like he rarely is one to ask for help and tends to try and solve it all on his own, especially if he is worried that others may get hurt. The issue is, he doesn't seem to worry about whether he would get hurt.

Takes on Too Much - I also feel like this connects to another flaw as he tends to take on too much and constantly puts himself in risky situations. Whenever a life-threatening situation comes up that could help everyone but is extremely dangerous, he is usually the first in line to do it. It feels like Mickey doesn't even consider his own safety or limitations at all. Sometimes it feels like he is overconfident in his abilities and just believes that he will be okay, which works until it doesn't. It also doesn't help that Mickey has a hard time saying "No", so even if he didn't want to do something or knows he is not capable of doing it, he would probably still do it, not wanting to disappoint anyone. He rarely thinks of himself. And seldom considers what would be best for him. Usually, his friends are the ones to think about his safety and needs.

Need to be Perfect - Though I feel like part of the reason Mickey takes on so much is his need to be the hero. He feels like he has to be a perfect, selfless, and brave role model who does everything without a single complaint. I feel like he overexerts himself because he is afraid of what happens if he doesn't. He is afraid of not being needed or wanted. He is usually the underdog, a small mouse in a world with characters twice his size, and if he isn't constantly proving himself people will leave him behind. I also feel like he has a hard time admitting to mistakes (which connects to his stubbornness) because he feels like he can't make mistakes, or that would show that he isn't as capable as people think. I also think this explains why he has more of a heated rivalry with Mortimer. Mortimer somehow taps into his insecurities in the ways others don't. I feel like Mickey is kind of jealous of Mortimer because he tends to be taken seriously (at first) while Mickey usually needs to earn it. I also kind of wonder if he is worried that if he starts messing up, Minnie and the others will leave him for someone like Mortimer, so he feels like he can't mess up. Ever.

Lack of Self Worth - Unfortunately this means that he is very reliant on others for his self-worth. Luckily Mickey is really good at making friends. But he tends to rely on the existence of his friends for his worth. I can imagine that if for some reason they all stopped existing, I don't think he would even know what to do with himself. While he doesn't need everyone to like him. He does need at least one person to like him to help ground him or I can see him going into a deep depression. I feel like he would really struggle with being alone for too long unless there was some hope of being able to be with his loved ones soon.

But yeah these are the bad qualities that I feel like Mickey generally has. There are probably more, especially ones more specific to certain interpretations, but these are the ones I was able to come up with. As nice as Mickey is, he isn't perfect and his insecurities, overthinking, stubbornness, and curious nature tend to get him in trouble. But fortunately, he is also just as capable of getting out of trouble.

I would honestly love to see other people thoughts on this as well.

#mickey mouse #mickey thoughts #you are going to learn that I cannot write anything outside of an essay #but this was fun to write #i love the little guy #disney #ask #answered

[ashwhowrites]

Well, it's a little bit angsty - inspired by something that happened to me once, which you probably will be able to tell by some of it. Eddie and reader argues about something and Eddie, being Eddie maybe letting his insecurities getting the best of him again says something like "well, perhaps we shouldn't be together then if it's so hard to communicate with me" or something like that. But it's what the reader does that hits him like a nailgun to the balls. She doesn't just drop off stuff he's had at her house, she also sends back every gifts he's given her, notes, all of it. And when he calls her to ask why, like "the teddy bear I got you at the fair was yours, why do you give it to me?" and she's all "because I don't want any reminders of idiots that turned out to be a big waste of my time." And that just shakes Eddie - like he realize that he may have broken up with her but the fact that she doesn't want any reminders of him or their time together just breaks his heart and makes him realize what a mistake he's made. Preferably a happy ending, but make him work for it :)

-@somethingvicked

It does not have a happy ending, I'm sorry....but the way I wrote him. I don't think you'd want him back. I hope that even though I changed the ending, this is what you were looking for

⚠️no part 2

never proofread

Dating Eddie started amazing. He was the perfect boyfriend, he always tried, and he actually cared. But lately? It seemed like he could care less where their relationship stood.

He got too comfortable and gave up on her. It was like their relationship was the last thing on his mind and everything was more important than her.

She understood they had different interests, and that meant they would spend time apart. But now, it was like he never came back to spend time with her. She never felt so alone being in a relationship before. She didn't feel wanted or needed. And she was tired of feeling like that. He didn't want to be with her? Fine, she'll make it easier.

She didn't give herself time to overthink, just walking straight into his trailer.

Eddie could feel the anger coming off of her, rolling his eyes as he knew another night would be spent arguing.

"what are we fighting about today?" Eddie snarled out. His eyes stayed on the tv, flicking through channels.

Y/N already knew this was going to be hard. And it hurt so much more knowing he was different. She'd walk into his trailer and he'd race to kiss her. He never wanted to let go. He stopped touching her months ago. And here he was, snapping at her, not even glancing in her direction.

"nothing, actually. I'm done Eddie." She sighed.

Eddie tried to hold back his chuckle. A mocking sound in his throat and it made her shiver.

"Oh, okay. You said that last time. What's the problem now? I'm too comfortable? No that was two weeks ago. I don't try anymore? That was last week. I don't love you? Not good enough? Don't satisfy every possible need you have? Not good at communicating? That's what yesterday was about, right?" He scoffed out.

Every word hurt her more and more. But everything was the truth. And the fight yesterday clearly didn't settle into his brain.

"actually, yesterday we did fight about your communication. Did you forget the part where I asked you to call once your anger settled down and we could talk like mature adults ? Or did you just decide not to care?" She snapped back

Eddie rolled his eyes. Shutting off the tv and turning his full body towards here.

A fake big smile on his face.

"you have all my attention, baby. Is that what you wanted?" He said

She had to hold herself back from slapping him. She cannot believe how much of a prick he has become over the last few months.

"Wowwww, you are such an asshole." She laughed, no humour behind it. "You once again just blew off everything I said! Did you miss the part AGAIN where you didn't fucking call me? It makes me feel like you don't care!"

"If I don't seem to fucking care, WHY BE WITH ME?" He lashed out. Throwing his hands in the air as he screamed.

But Y/N had no reaction. He did this every single time she tried to bring up an emotion she felt.

"I'm not anymore. I'm done with this relationship. I can love myself way better than you ever did. " She said, a smile on her face as she turned around. Walking towards the door.

Eddie watched as she walked out the door. He brushed it off. She'd be back, she always came right back.

~~~

It's been a few days since the fight, and Eddie still hasn't found it in him to care. He wouldn't cave in first, he never did and he never will.

He hasn't heard from her since. She never called and never came back to his trailer. But he expected her any day now. Spending his days watching tv and hanging out with his friends.

He came stumbling into his trailer after a Saturday night out at the bar. He could hear Gareth driving off as he walked up the steps. Finding himself tripping over a box with his name on it.

He was too drunk to see what it was. Kicking the box to the side as he walked inside. Walking the few steps to the couch and throwing himself on it.

Not even seconds later, he was passed out.

~~~

Y/N hasn't spoken to Eddie in days but she felt so good. She hasn't bothered to call or stop by his trailer. She caught herself thinking about him, but she knew that wasn't going to just stop. She kept herself strong and enjoyed how much lighter her shoulders felt.

She packed up a box of everything he's ever given her. She didn't need a reminder of someone who made her feel like she was nothing. Every letter, teddy bear, bracelet, ring, just anything he has ever gifted to her. Not like he'd remember any of it. The last thing he ever gifted her was months ago, back when he still loved her and wanted her.

When she arrived at the trailer, she noticed his van was there. Preparing to hand him the box, she took a deep breath. Knocking on the door as she waited for him to open it.

She knocked a few more times and waited and waited some more, but he never opened the door.

The last time she saw him was a good enough goodbye for her. She dropped the box at the front door, giving the trailer one last look. His home didn't bring her comfort anymore, it wasn't a safe place, nor her happy place.

Now it was just a trailer.

~~~

Eddie felt like his head was pounding. He groaned and felt the couch beneath him. He slowly sat up, yanking off his shoes. He rubbed his head as he walked to grab some water.

His hand dug in his pocket for a cigarette, opening the front door to go smoke. Then his eye caught the box from last night.

He lit his cigarette, inhaled the smoke, and bent down to grab the box. He knew what it was and who it was from. He could tell by the handwriting it was from her. But he was confused as to why the box was so heavy, he could not have left that much stuff at her house.

He smoked his cigarette as he dug through the box. T-shirts, rings, bracelets, and normal things she liked to wear during their relationship. But then he saw stuffed animals, ones he bought her, even the pink bear he won on their anniversary. Why would she give those things back? All she talked about was how she treasured and adored all the gifts he gave to her, and now they don't mean a thing?

Eddie felt the anger inside of him. He was just so bad of a person that she wanted nothing to do with him? Like their relationship meant nothing over the last two years? He smashed his bud into the ground and marched inside.

He raced to the phone, punching in her number.

"Hello?" Eddie tried to ignore how much he missed her sweet voice. She hasn't sounded like that in weeks.

"The teddy bear I got you at the fair was yours, why do you give it to me?" He asked, he didn't bother to cover how sad he felt. It was like a punch in his gut. Was she really not coming back?

"Because I don't want any reminders of idiots that turned out to be a big waste of my time." She snapped, the sweetness in her voice was gone. The cold-hearted tone returned and Eddie hated that. It was like the second she heard his voice, she flipped the switch.

"I wasted your time?" He choked out. The hangover was killing his head, but her words were killing his heart.

"Bye Eddie. Please don't call again."

The tone rang in his ears.

This was it. She wasn't coming back.

She wasn't in bed, cuddling the pink bear and thinking about him anymore.

She'll go back to sleeping in her own shirts, cuddling a new stuffed animal, and moving on from him.

She told him not to call, and that was like cold water down his back. She always asked him to call, and now she begged him not to call her ever again.

He lost her

And now he's stuck with a box of their memories, and she has a clean slate.

tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie stranger things #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson request #eddie munson angst #eddie munson angst x reader #ashwhowrites #eddie munson angst x female reader

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

how do you keep your faith even while such horrific things are going on in palestine? i've been a christian all my life and i understand that the question of why god allows suffering is one that people have always been asking, that we can never really know the answer to, but it's just so hard for me to see things like this, all of these innocent people being terrorized and murdered in such evil ways, and understand why god can't stop it from happening. in church we pray for both israel and palestine and it feels so pointless, and just makes me frustrated that i can't actually do anything to stop this. especially knowing that even bethlehem, the place of jesus's birth and home to many palestinian christians, is being attacked and churches are being bombed. it seems pretty clear that the people committing these atrocities are never going to open their hearts and stop, and the world leaders who would have the power to make them stop either don't care or directly support them. i do not want to believe that god doesn't exist, or that god would just sit by and watch all of this happen if it were possible to stop it, but it's such a struggle at times like this. i feel like it shouldn't be and like i should've had this figured out by now. it's okay if you don't answer this, i just love your blog and have learned a lot from it over the years, and am incredibly saddened by the state of the world right now.

Hey there, anon. I feel with you and stand with you in your struggle. I also gently suggest you work on letting go of the sense that you "should" have this figured out by now. Firstly because learning to release myself from "shoulds" is something my therapist taught me and it's been super helpful for showing myself love; secondly because I believe it is deeply, deeply faithful to ask these questions, to demand to know where God is in the face of evil — not just once, but continuously across our lives.

If at any point we think we have it "all figured out," if we think we've reached a fully satisfying solution to the problem of how a good God could "let" evil things happen, we're more likely to be numbed by fatalism or become complacent in the face of injustice. As Rabbi Jonathan Sacks (may his memory be a blessing) put it when asked why God lets bad things happen to good people,

“God does not want us to understand, because if we ever understood, we would be forced to accept that bad things happen to good people, and God does not want us to accept those bad things. He wants us not to understand, so that we will fight against the bad and the injustices of this world, and that is why there is no answer to that question.”

Ask the questions. Bring all that you feel — your grief, your confusion, your frustration, your doubt, your fear — to God. Study and pray and converse with others.

And while you're doing all that, and accepting that it'll be a lifelong exploration, act.

Let your love, your words, your actions be the divine response to injustice — because for whatever mysterious reason, God chooses to act through us, through all who follow Their call to "do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly" (Micah 6:8).

___

So yeah, I can't tell you why God doesn't just jump in and stop the evil, why God seems to limit Their own power to intervene (or even to lack that power to begin with), why God respects our free will even when we misuse it to such great harm (though you can see the bottom of this post for places to explore all those questions).

But I can tell you where I believe God is in the midst of all the questions, all the loss, all the suffering — and that's not on some lofty throne indifferently observing our pain; God is right there in the midst of that pain.

Where is God in the face of hate, violence, death? God is co-suffering with us, shouldering the burden with us.

In Exodus 3:7, God says They don't only see the enslaved Hebrews' misery, don't only hear their cries, but that They know the people's suffering — an intimate knowing, as of one who experiences it themself.

In Matthew 25, Jesus tells us that when humanity fails to welcome the stranger, visit the prisoner, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, comfort the oppressed, we fail to do those things for him — for he identifies so intimately with all whom the world calls "least" that he is one with each and every one of them.

So I don't know why God doesn't just fix everything, dammit! — it's the first question I'll be asking Xir when I die, because wtf!!

But I do believe, and I do draw some comfort knowing, that God does not leave us to suffer alone. God is one with the oppressed; God shows ultimate solidarity to the oppressed; and God acts with each of us who act for and with and as the oppressed.

And the good news in the midst in this horror is that there are things that all of us can be doing to act in solidarity with the oppressed!

Our efforts truly are making a difference. Politicians and whole governments across the globe have been startled by the resistance to pro-Israeli propaganda and solidarity with Palestine. The change is slow, but our protests are making an impact. Palestinians have been asking that we keep protesting, boycotting, educating, spreading the word. Because it is helping, slowly but surely.

As long as Palestinians refuse to give in to despair, we too must continue to fight. Palestine will be free. We will not stand silent as genocide occurs.

Boycott as many of the companies named by BDS as you can. Notice that they're focusing on a narrower, more targeted group of companies than some of the enormous lists people keep sharing — that's to help us avoid becoming overwhelmed! So boycott what you can from their list; these are the companies directly contributing to Israel's violence. And spread their list to anyone you can.

If you live in a country with a government that has yet to join the call for a ceasefire — and especially if you, like me here in the US, live in a country that is actively funding/otherwise supporting Israel's violence — call or email your representatives to demand a ceasefire.

Resistbot can help make that easy, in the US at least.

Educate yourself about the history of Palestine and Israel. It's important so that you can recognize lies and propaganda, and also so you can speak knowledgeably about the issue with others. It's also important because understanding and simply bearing witness are two big things Palestinians ask of us. You don't need to know everything, but know enough to bear witness, to remember the loss, and to debunk bullshit when you see it.

Here are some places you can get educated — link to free ebooks; article on current events; article with current perspectives from Gaza; and I've been reblogging news & resources as I see them over on @a-queer-seminarian

Post about what Gaza is going through on social media!! Don't let the fight die down! Talk about it with friends or others you think might be swayed to join the fight if they had the information that most media stations are failing to report on.

Stand up against Islamophobia in all forms.

Stand up against antisemitism in all forms. As Christians, this includes recognizing and uprooting supersessionism in our biblical interpretation, our liturgy, our hymns, etc. It also means learning about Christian Zionism.

One of Israel's primary arguments for the "necessity" of its oppression of Palestine is that Israel is necessary because nowhere else on earth is safe for Jews. They're right that nowhere else is safe for Jews; but they're wrong that Israel is safe for Jews — an settler-colonialist state, a war zone, a state that requires every civilian to serve some time in the military, is not safe for Jews either. But as long as they can point to the antisemitism rampant across the globe, they can use that as an argument. So to counter Israel, and much more importantly to stand in solidarity with Jewish people across the world, don't let antisemitism go unchecked.

Join in protests in your area. Follow Jewish Voices for Peace or Jews Against White Supremacy for info on such events.

Link to places to offer fin.ancial support

Want more ways to act? Check out https://www.palestineaction.org/

___

There is no easy answer to the question of suffering — but even so, it can be helpful to explore it deeper, to examine what conclusions others have drawn over the eras. If you want some resources for your wrestling, here are some:

This post goes into the basics of theodicy, the "the intellectual effort to jerry-rig three mutually exclusive terms into harmony: divine power, goodness, and the experiences of evil"

Then there's my #theodicy tag where I put all posts / links about this issue

I also have a long-ass YouTube video diving deep into "the problem of suffering"!

___

I hope this response brings you comfort and courage, friend. Don't be afraid of questions, of grief, of concern — let them galvanize you for the struggle. Solidarity forever <3

#god with us #theodicy #palestine #suffering

[ryejifics]

im your biggest fan 🙈

may i please request yeji fluff? where the reader is aware yeji has a crush (but not who) and because the reader has a crush on yeji the reader gets jealous and a bit sad but isn’t aware that this whole time yeji was talking about her?

It's you

Type: fluff

Yeji x reader

"She's so perfect!" Yeji exclaimed. She went on about her crush again. "Oh.. I'm glad you like her a lot. I'm really happy for you, Yeji." You tried not to look sad, you've had the biggest crush on Yeji since before you met her.

It all started when you went to get a drink at your favorite cafe. When you walked in, you noticed a beautiful girl. Her cute cat-like eyes, her sense of style that's so unique, the way she smiled. She was so... pretty. So pretty you infact got distracted when it was your turn to order. A line of angry customers and a cashier asking if you were gonna order or not. Yeji noticed this and slightly giggled. When you walked in, you didn't know, but her eyes were on you. You had something she liked. She just couldn't put a finger on it. You ordered, and she decided to be brave and pay for it. "H-hi, I'm Yeji." You were starstruck as the pretty girl was talking to you. You didn't even think she would notice you. "Hi- I'm y/n. Not to be rude, but is there a reason you decided to pay for my drink? You really didn't have to-" "It's really no problem, I just noticed your shirt and I happened to like that show too!"

After you got your drink, you two talked for another hour. Before she knew it she was late to practice. "I'm so sorry but I'm late for practice! Here's my number, text me!" She ran out and that's how it all began.

Now it's months in, and you've got the biggest crush on the cat eyed girl. She's the most stunning, sweetest person ever. There's only one problem, she's been talking about some girl a lot lately. It sounds like it's anyone but me. Whoever it is, they're so lucky. As she goes on talking about her crush, I zone out. Why couldn't it be me? "Are you even listening?" She asked as she giggled. "Oh, sorry. Continue." You listen as she goes on and on about her. Will this ever end?

Another day, another thing about this girl. "Yeji! Just say it already. It's been weeks of this. I can't take it anymore!" You blurt out, frustrated at the fact it doesn't stop. She looked suprised but shook her head no. "What no, you're not supposed to know." You started getting emotional and without thinking you blurt out, "It's not me! So why does it matter if I know or not?" She looked shocked. You can't believe you just said that either. "W-well... actually... it is you. I thought you'd get the hint." "W-what?" All your jealousy went away in that moment, it was you? Really? "I don't know what to say.. I'm sorry, Yeji. I shouldn't have assumed, and-" She cut you off with a soft kiss. "Shh, I'll forgive you... on one condition. Will you be my girlfriend?" "Yeji, isn't the answer obvious? Yes! With or without you forgiving me." You smile hard and wrap your arms around her. It's always has been and always will be Yeji for you. And to Yeji? It was always you and always will be.

#itzy fic #itzy imagines #itzy #itzy x reader #itzy fluff #itzy midzy #yeji x reader #hwang yeji #yeji #yeji itzy #itzy yeji #itzy scenarios #yeji fluff #yeji x you

[imagine-knb]

may I request GOM + kuroko and kagami's reaction on realising that the best/close friend! reader is slowly falling for them and vice versa! thanks!

I'm going into this under the assumption that it's obvious to the guys that reader is falling for them, so there's no doubt on their part. If you meant it like they didn't know reader was falling for them, feel free to send in another request! Admin Neon

Kuroko: Despite already knowing that you liked him back as much as he liked you, it was still nerve wracking for Kuroko to even consider confessing his feelings — verbally, at least. He ends up writing notes to you and sticking them in places he knows you will find. Instead of responding verbally back, you wind up doing the same. For months, the two of you play this little back and forth penpal game, each note getting sappier than the last. Until one day...

"____-san," Kuroko calls out to you. He has a letter in hand, holding it out for you to take. It was the first time he was handing one to you directly. When you open it up, there's a single sentence written in his messy penmanship. "Will you go out with me?"

Kagami: He would have thought knowing that you reciprocated his feelings would make things better, but it actually has quite the opposite affect on Kagami. Suddenly, he's over-analyzing every little thing he does around you. Did you like the way he laughed? The way he spoke? The way he ate? What was it about himself you found so charming? He wondered if you thought the same things about yourself and all the things about you that he also found so alluring.

His overthinking actually ends up ruining the mood for a while, because he tends to avoid things that cause him to overthink — unless it's basketball. It isn't until you confront him one day about his wishy-washiness that he blurts out, "It's because I like you, okay?!"

Kise: The very same day Kise realizes that you like him back is the day that he decides he wants to ask you out officially. There's only one problem with his plan: he's been asking you out all this time, but you always mistook it for jokes on his end. He supposed all the experience he had with dating and all the relationships he went through while being friends with you was his downfall, because it must've made you compare yourself to everyone else.

"____cchi, please, just one actual date," he begs after yet another playful rejection from you. He was determined. "I promise, it's not a joke or anything and it's not just a hang out between friends. I'm being serious with you, believe me!"

Aomine: There are suddenly a lot more teasing smiles thrown your way once he realizes your feelings for him are the same as his own for you. Aomine never tells you he likes you back in the beginning, instead deciding to tease you for just a bit longer for your crush on him. Every opportunity he gets to fit it into a conversation, he will. It always brings him a sense of pride to see how easily he can get you to fluster just from calling you out over it.

"Aww, no need to get so shy when I'm around," he'd drawl, leaning down to get closer to your face. "Unless... what? You like me? Well, of course you do. It's me, after all." Even you weren't safe from his cockiness.

Midorima: He's not the type to beat around the bush once he figures out what he wants and he ends up devising a plan to confess to you the next time he sees you. However, putting plans into action are often a lot harder than devising them and Midorima finds himself more nervous than he'd expected standing in front of you. He almost wants to abort — why was it so hard? He already knew you liked him back, so it shouldn't be that difficult.

But, of course, one of the reasons he fell for you was your perceptiveness to his feelings and when you tell him you think you know the reason for him calling you to meet with him, he's relieved. "I'm grateful you understand and... I hope you accept my feelings."

Murasakibara: Things seem to happen between the two of you despite never being talked about. You never formally confess your feelings to Murasakibara and he never really does the same, but even still the two of you grow closer and end up doing a lot of things together that people would associate as normal couple behavior: sharing food, walking places together, meeting every weekend. It's comfortable and easy.

Which is why he almost feels bad when he asks you one day, "____-chin, what are we?" It wasn't a question he expected himself to ask and one you definitely didn't expect to hear, but he's relieved when your answer aligns similarly with his own.

Akashi: Perhaps he knew from the beginning that the two of you would end up falling for each other, because Akashi had always had a soft spot for you. His actions before realizing your feelings for him don't differ from his actions prior; he still treats and respects you as an equal he wants to spend most of his time with. Of course, he doesn't jump straight into a relationship with you. He wants to be 100% sure his feelings are reciprocated.

"I hope I'm not being presumptuous when I say I think we feel similarly for each other," he tells you one day, the hand holding onto yours stroking a gentle thumb across your skin. "I hope you would allow me to opportunity to be more to you."

#kuroko #kise #aomine #midorima #mirasakibara #akashi #kagami #gom #holy run on sentence batman

[molsno]

Your post on transandrophobia was the first time i'd heard of it and it from just reading your post it made sense why it couldn't be real. But i didnt want to adopt a new belief against something without looking into why people are for it. Upon reading many other posts and doing a bunch of thinking i now have a few thoughts on your post id appreciate your input on as you seem understanding and extremely well-read

please correct me if i'm wrong, but your argument against transandrophobia is that transandrophobia as the combination of androphobia/misandry and transphobia (to mirror transmisogyny being a combination of misogyny and transphobia) cannot exist because androphobia/misandry does not exist

you are completely correct that misandry does not exist in the same systemic way that misogyny does, it would be idiotic to argue otherwise, but our current system of gender stereotypes/expectations does also negatively impact men. Men are seen as inherently violent, dangerous, emotionless, and too sexual. (ie. men aren't belived when victims of rape bc/they must've enjoyed it, men are more likely to be incarcerated)

Men's Rights Activists and people like them were wrong in believing they suffered more than women and that women gaining rights was the cause of their suffering, but they did correctly identify that men also suffered from the patriarchy (and im forever gonna be salty that they were so close to understanding but instead of engaging in solidarity they decided to be misogynist about it)

When combined with other forms of oppression the often excused or ignored negative associations with masculinity are viewed as horrible problems

For example black men have to constantly make themselves less threatening when near white women because it is assumed they have malicious intent. Historically many many black men have been lynched in order to 'protect' white women. Yes it was very much racism, but it wasn't a coincidence that black men were the victims far more than black women.

Lesbians have historically been seen as inherently masculine therefore dangerous and predatory. The same associations now are used to justify transwomen being banned from women's spaces because they must be inherently masculine therefore inherently sexually predatory.

There is a narrative that Testosterone should be avoided for transmascs because it will make them into ugly violent monsters.

In specifically queer spaces there is often a strong stigma against being proud to be masculine. Which makes sense as most of the groups and people who have been openly proud of their masculinity before have been actively advocating for the elimination of queer people, but masculinity in itself is not anti-queer and shouldn't be treated as such.

There are many transmasc struggles seperate from transfem struggles that could potentially be more accurately described as an intersection of misogyny and transphobia, such as the infantilization and denial of control over our bodies, but because transfem people have established transmisogyny as a term to talk about their struggles and because there are several struggles resulting from our specifically trans masculinity, transandrophobia was chosen instead to not encroach on transfem's space while still having the ability to speak about our struggles.

thank you if you actually spent the time to read this and i genuinely hope you have a great day :]

thank you for being open to criticism with these ideas but oof, there's a lot to unpack here. frankly, I find it a little hard to believe you'd never heard the word transandrophobia before, considering you're regurgitating all of its talking points. you say that misandry doesn't exist at a systemic level, but then all of these points are framed as if it does. we'll go through that, but first, some foundations:

our current gender system may negatively impact men in a few narrow circumstances, but it is ultimately self-inflicted (even if some women do uphold it), and still benefits them. men are perceived as violent, dangerous, and too sexual because they continue to perpetuate a gender system that oppresses women with sexual violence. still, to this day, marital rape is not punished with the same severity as non-marital rape. still, to this day, women stay in abusive relationships out of fear that their boyfriends/husbands will commit acts of violence against them if they try to leave.

do you understand? violence, and ESPECIALLY sexual violence, is a tool men wield to maintain power, sometimes over other men, but especially over women. they wield this tool voluntarily because it benefits them, even if it does have its drawbacks in some circumstances. violence is punishable under the law, which is why men who perpetrate violence against other men tend to be incarcerated at higher rates than men who perpetrate violence against women. after all, women aren't considered full human beings with equal rights, so violence against them isn't a severe offense. our society was structured around the premise that women are men's property with which they can do whatever they want. that's why, for instance, when men are raped by women, they aren't believed; the very concept of a woman wielding sexual power over men is unthinkable in the eyes of society.

misogyny is one of the oldest forms of oppression - it's existed since nearly the dawn of society itself, and has existed in cultures all over the world for thousands of years. as a result, it is baked into the very foundation of society. if your analysis of gendered systems doesn't begin from this basic fact, then your analysis is incorrect.

certainly, men uphold very rigid, overly-restrictive notions of masculinity which can harm them in some cases, but this "toxic masculinity" as it's come to be known is really just a means of threatening other men with transmisogyny. I've written a whole post about it here.

with all of that out of the way, let's go through the rest of your examples of supposed misandry one by one.

first, while you are correct that there is a long history of violence being enacted upon black men because they are perceived as a threat to white women, the cause of this phenomenon is just racism. as you will recall in an earlier paragraph, I stated that men are perceived as violent and dangerous because they uphold a system of sexual ownership over women. any man that may pose a threat to another man's ownership over a woman must be punished with violence. now, black people regardless of gender are seen as hypersexual in this white supremacist society, so when it comes to black men in particular, they are perceived as being more likely to threaten a white man's ownership over a white woman - hence the amount of violence they face.

now, I need to say, I'm white, and while I do my best to learn about racism and how it intersects with other forms of oppression, my understanding will always be limited by my privilege as a white person. I've never experienced racism and I never will, so I don't have the full nuance to explain this topic in particular that comes with lived experience. that being said, I find it very callous and cruel that transandrophobia truthers repeatedly use the violence black men face as "proof" of their beliefs, especially because they act like black women aren't also subjected to racist violence, which they very much are. here's a thread by two black bloggers about this topic that I think discusses this phenomenon better than I ever could - be sure to check the read more link in it.

moving on, your point about lesbians and trans women (note the space) is, frankly, extremely insulting. misandry is not a part of my oppression. people don't hate me because I'm masculine, they hate me because I'm a tranny. they hate me SPECIFICALLY because I reject manhood in its entirety. they hate me because my very existence calls into question the validity of the assumptions that 1. there are two opposite mutually exclusive genders with absolutely no overlap and 2. manhood and masculinity is inherently superior to womanhood and femininity. that's why they portray people like me as a threat to cis women. if I'm free to exist in the way that makes me happiest, then the gender system that gives men absolute unchecked power over women will crumble. lesbians are also reviled and viewed as predatory for their rejection of subservience to men and their attraction to women, which - again, threatens men's control over them.

I'm going to go out of order here and address your point about queer spaces being hostile to masculinity. it just isn't true. I've never seen a single person provide an adequate explanation for how there is a stigma in queer spaces against masculinity that wasn't just lesbophobia and transmisogyny in disguise. it always boils down to "waah lesbians and trans women are mean to men and people who like men :(", a la this post.

now, last but not least, your points about transmascs. they're discouraged from transitioning because we live in a transphobic society. there is nothing unique about that. transfems are subjected to the exact same rhetoric.

transmascs do not experience an intersection of transphobia and misogyny. they may experience both of these, but they are not intersecting, and any assertion to the contrary demonstrates an abysmal understanding of intersection, whether willfully or not. I've already written another post about this exact topic.

I hope this was helpful, but for future reference, I'm going to say this: most women are not going to be so patient and understanding when you approach them with a giant wall of text asking them to explain misogyny to you. I did not have to do any of this for you, and you shouldn't expect me to. I've already written and reblogged many posts about the topics you've brought up here, as you've seen, and you could have easily found most of them by looking through my writing and transmisogyny tags. I hope you have a good day, but please do not do this again.

#ask #avacadokin #transmisogyny #my writing

[kaijuboarcreations]

So I Just Saw the Sweeney Todd Revival

Impressions: (Don't read on if you don't want spoilers for the show)

It was damn amazing. I've seen many versions of the show over the years and this one still managed to give me the same emotional whip lash that my first viewing did.

-Josh Groban was amazing both as a vocalist and actor. I always look forward to what different actors bring to Sweeney Todd and he really brought out an unhinged, emotional take on the character that I really enjoyed. He played the pure madness perfectly, and he shows a clear progression from a relatively sane start to his break at 'Epiphany' to his downward spiral in the second act.

-Annaleigh may be the best Mrs. Lovett I've seen yet. She managed to make Mrs. Lovett the perfect level of obnoxious. She was not afraid to get on the floor, crawl into Josh's lap (jealous), and just do generally crazy shit without seeming like she was "trying too hard"

-Noted the choice of Lucy having dark hair (the reprise of 'Johanna' alludes to Lucy having the same color hair as Johanna). It doesn't give it away as much as having her be blonde but I'm not a huge fan of directors trying too hard to make a twist a total surprise. Not that my feelings are that strong on the matter.

-Is Beadle low key queer coded or is that just me? (Like he DEFINITELY limps his wrist several times. "Always an honor to serve my friends and neighbors 💅")

-Hard to beat Tobias actually being a child. I get why they opt not to go with actual child actors, though dude was a college graduate.... I mean he did a good job don't get me wrong I'm not at all trying to throw shade at anyone's performance, they were all great but I couldn't tell from the ensamble at the opening who has Tobias and who was Antony because they looked the same age and I feel like that's a problem.

"Tell Mrs. Lovett to give you some ale" why shouldn't she? You are clearly in your twenties

-I believe this was the first time I've seen the ending include Tobias going fully mad. Who can blame him? He was locked in with newly deceased corpses and just found out he had been eating humans. All versions have him certainly not quite right in the end seeing as he does Sweeney in, but every version I've seen in the past has a more stoic Tobias rather than the babbling madman route.

-They did a job to ease you in to the blood and guts part of the show. You don't see any blood until act two. The deaths in act one are either in shadow or cut off before the finishing blow.

-Daniel Yearwood and Maria Bilbao were a great Antony and Johanna. The direction for the subtle ways that Johanna mirrored Sweeney were very well done

#sweeney todd #sweeney todd revival #sweeney todd 2023

[skzhocomments]

THE WHITE LILY (Mafia Book #1 - Bang Chan) - Chapter 1 - Girl on a mission

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

General masterlist

Chapter 1 (current chapter) - Wattpad | AO3

Chapter 2

---

Chapter 1 - Girl on a mission

chapter word count: 4.1k words

~1 year and 6 months before Present Day~

"Find and kill CB97."

"That's impossible."

"It's not, if you wanna get out of here."

"Fuck you."

"Shut your fucking mouth. Don't forget who you're fucking speaking to, bitch!" Boss said, while pointing his loaded gun at me. "I'm giving you two options here. You either kill him, or you leave this place dead."

"I don't even know what he looks like or what his real name is!" I whined.

"Look, that's not my fucking problem. I think I'm giving you a pretty good offer here. Most don't get to leave this place alive at all. So, you either do what I'm asking, or you don't and suffer the consequences. You know the rules!" He screamed harshly.

I knew he was right. Leaving a mafia wasn't as simple as submitting a resignation letter when you got tired of your job.

You couldn't simply leave a mafia.

Someone who's outside is a risk to the others' safety. Anyone who's out becomes a target, a way for our rivals to get data on us.

However, my gang - The Scarlet Rose - is a bit different. Here, the rules state that, if you do wish to leave, you have the leisure to do so, providing you complete the mission Boss gives you.

More often than not, though, the mission proves itself to be simply impossible. Some give up on leaving altogether, others get killed while attempting to do so.

I believe no one's ever managed to complete it. There are only rumours that some people have, but there's no actual proof. And as they say – only believe what's in front of your eyes.

So, why would I want to go through this just to leave, you might ask?

It's pretty simple: this gang's rules no longer coincide with my life views. In fact, they never have, but even more so lately. My boss makes me take innocent lives. I am forced to kill families, children... I don't want to do this anymore.

I don't mind killing bastards as long as they deserve it, but I'm drawing the line at infants who can't even speak, let alone be guilty of anything.

~

Three weeks after the pretty chat with my boss, I've heard through the grapevine that SKZ Mafia will be hosting a party at their house and made some plans on how to get in.

I've faked my identity, posing as a millionaire's wife, and entered the premises quite easily. Red lips, wearing a classy but slutty long black dress, under which I've hidden a dagger, strapped to the back of my thigh, and I was ready to make my way through.

The plan for tonight was to use my good looks to find out who exactly CB97 was, at least. If I'm lucky, I could also attempt seducing him and taking him to bed to kill him when he's most vulnerable. This shouldn't be too hard, right? He's just a man... Like all Mafia leaders, this CB97 is probably an old degenerate, sex maniac psychopath.

Unless the 97 comes from his birth year or something.

Nah, that can't be it. I chuckled to the dumb possibility that this guy would be my age.

Anyway, the success rate for this plan is dim, though, maybe 30% on a lucky day, since this guy's been so secretive about himself all this time.

However, I felt pretty lucky today.

May the odds be in my favour, as they always are.

~

I was two hours in, when suddenly I got approached by someone.

"Bored?" the mysterious man said, placing his hand gently on my lower back.

I smirked cunningly seeing the man in front of me and thought that maybe I could get some information from him if I flirted a bit. He was also hot as fuck, and a little fun never hurt anyone, did it?

"Not at all. Just enjoying the wine and taking in the atmosphere. This place looks amazing. Just to my taste." I looked him from head to toe and gave him a suggestive look.

"Thank you."

"What for?" I raised an eyebrow curiously.

"For the compliments on my mansion, of course."

"CB97, then? I didn't expect you to be so young." I replied, genuinely surprised by this.

Shit, so 97 was his birth year after all!

Should I continue with the plan, or should I just get out of here quietly? I found out what he looks like, after all...

"You didn't expect me to me so hot." He whispered in my ear, which made my cheeks turn red. Thanks god for make-up. "I noticed you've been fucking me with your eyes from the moment you saw me."

Nah, he fell right into my trap. This might still work.

"Are you always so cheeky?" I turned to face him and put one arm over his shoulder, grabbing at his shirt and pulling his body closer.

"Are you always so bold?" he returned my question and brought his face closer to mine, our lips almost touching.

"Mhm. I am. So how about we take this upstairs?" CB97 chuckled hearing my proposal.

"Wouldn't your millionaire husband have something to say about that?"

"Like I give a shit about what he thinks." I scoffed. "Look at you." I flirted and bit my bottom lip playfully, eyeing him from under my long eyelashes.

CB97 showed me his teeth through a sly smile and grabbed my hand in his, guiding me up the stairs.

"Let's get going, then. The night's still young."

~

He led me to an exquisite room that had a master bed with fresh linen on top.

Without missing a beat, CB97 pushed me on the bed and kissed me hard. I don't know if the wine was getting to my head, but his plum lips tasted so sweet, almost addictive; I was mesmerised by how good he felt on top of me.

CB97 licked my upper lip, as if asking for permission, so I bravely stuck out my tongue a bit, touching his.

He was quick to respond, sucking on my tongue and continuing to kiss me deeper and deeper.

Don't forget why you're here, Emilia.

I put my arms around his neck and pulled him in closer, if that was even possible. His kisses were making me drunk, his tongue exploring every corner of my mouth.

All of a sudden, he pulled back and looked me in the eyes.

"Just wanted to let you know that I like it a little rough." He said with a stern face, taking my hands in his and putting them above my head, locking them in place with one hand, while he took off his belt with the other.

He was so strong, I couldn't move from his grip.

I didn't have any time to protest as he skilfully tied the belt tightly around my wrists. He then stood up on the bed and grabbed my body, turning me around, so that my face was buried in the sheets.

This is dangerous.

"I'd prefer if I had more control." I chuckled, hoping the man would release me, and turned my head to the right to look at him, resting my left cheek on the bed.

His eyes were dark, but his face showed a blank expression. He looked at me coldly, as he pressed his whole weight on top of me, his crotch pressing firmly on my ass, and moved my hair to free my neck. There was a powerful contrast between his action and his words. He kissed my neck gently, but what he whispered in my ear made my skin crawl.

"Why, so you could kill me, Emilia?"

My heart rose up my throat. How does he know my real name?

I swallowed my saliva and tried to calm down. My chest started hurting, as my heart beat faster and faster.

Fear.

That's how I felt.

I was scared.

CB97 traced his hand on the length of my leg and felt the dagger on my thigh.

"Is this what you wanted to use to kill me?" he asked mockingly, taking the dagger out, admiring it, and pressing its' blade firmly on my neck, not strong enough to pierce my skin, but enough to feel its coldness. "I like your style."

"Nice dagger, huh?" I tried hiding how I was really feeling behind this stupid joke.

Who betrayed me?

"Indeed. But damn, you really are bold, coming into my house like you own the place and planning to kill me in my own bed."

Fuck.

I am genuinely scared.

I will die.

What should I do?

"So, why kill me, babygirl?"

I scoffed at his choice of nickname and smirked.

"What, didn't your informant give you all the details?" I mocked.

"Oh, baby, he did. Just wanted to check if the stories matched."

When I stayed silent, he continued.

"Cause if they do, I feel sorry for you. You've been sent to the wolf's lair, only for the wolf to be informed that you're coming for his neck."

"... Who told you?"

Chan smirked. "Your boss."

"WHAT?!" I asked surprised, trying to turn around, but CB97 kept me in place with his body.

"Sit tight, will you?"

I sighed.

"It must hurt horribly to be sold out like that by your family." Chan whispered in my ear.

"What family? Those bastards aren't my family."

Even if I didn't consider them so, as they say you should once you join a mafia, CB97 was right. Betrayal did hurt like hell.

Feeling some stubborn tears forming in the corners of my eyes, I turned my head, so that my face would be buried in the sheets.

It wasn't the first time I've been close to dying.

No, far from that, actually.

But it was the first time I've been so... helpless.

It was the first time no one was coming to help.

Boss wanted to get rid of me, so he sent me here to die.

All hope is lost.

I will die.

I started shaking under CB97 as I tried to control the tears.

Fuck, this is not the time to be emotional, Emilia.

I cleared my throat and tried to think of something else, to divert my attention from the feelings of betrayal and from fear, as my last moments were approaching.

"Hey, since I'm going to die soon anyway, what's your real name?"

"Curious?" CB97 replied. Although I couldn't see his face, I was sure the fucker smirked.

"Mhm." I nodded.

"They say curiosity killed the cat, you know?"

"But satisfaction brought it back." I smirked.

"Hah. Fair point, love."

"You know mine, might as well let me know yours as well. I'll quite literally take it to my grave, so it doesn't matter to you either way. It won't hurt you." I replied defeated.

CB97 got off me and turned me around again, so that my back was firmly pressed against the mattress. He got on top of me and caressed my face with his thumbs, forcing me to look him in the eyes.

I hated this.

He will see my tears. He will see how weak I am.

"Say please?"

"Pff. As if I would." I rolled my eyes so far back, I almost saw my brain for a second.

"No longer curious?"

"Just wanted to put a name to your pretty face before you kill me, that's all."

Repeating it out loud, the realisation that I was going to die hit me again.

I tried to swallow back the tears, but I couldn't stop them. They started flowing, rolling off my face uncontrollably.

"Shhh, don't cry, baby." CB97 said soothingly, as he continued to brush his hands on my face and wipe off the tears that wouldn't stop falling.

He was giving me fake comfort, I knew, but I allowed myself to get relaxed under his touch and pretend that everything would be alright.

"Do you hate me?" he asked, searching my face for the truth.

"No."

"Even though I'm about to kill you?"

I tensed at his words.

"I don't hate you." I answered truthfully. "I hate the situation I put myself in, that got me in your bed tonight. But I don't hate you, CB97."

"Bang Chan."

"Huh?"

"Bang Chan. That's my name."

"Bang Chan... okay." I nodded softly. "Turns out my key to freedom will be my demise." I smiled sadly and looked into his eyes. "Your name has a nice ring to it. It suits you."

"Yours too."

"Please do me a favour and finish me off quickly, hm?" I continued and closed my eyes, waiting for Bang Chan to take my life.

Instead, I was met with a soft peck on my lips.

"I can still be your key to freedom." He said, trailing soft kissing down my neck, sucking small bruises on it, making me whimper.

I clenched my thighs under his touch, feeling intoxicated by him. I wasn't supposed to feel like this. I was on my death bed, but I was dripping wet just from his whispers and touches.

"What, if I let you fuck me, you'll let me go?" I laughed sarcastically.

"Let me fuck you? Babygirl, I don't need you to let me do anything. I know you want it as much as me." As he said this, he traced two of his fingers on my slit, through my panties, feeling my horniness. I was mad at my body for betraying me like this, but he was right the second time this night. I was lusting over his body.

He didn't remove my panties, but he pressed two fingers firmly on my clit, applying pressure, before rubbing it a little, causing me to moan.

"See what I mean? I'm not blind, Emilia." he whispered more in my ear, licking my earlobe, sending me into overdrive.

"However, if you don't want it, I won't touch you any further." He got off of me and freed my arms, pulling me in a seated position and handing me my dagger. "That's also not what I meant. I'm not looking for a fuckdoll. But I can still be your key to freedom if you choose to follow me."

I took the dagger from his hand unsurely and thought for a bit.

Follow him? Does he think I'm stupid?

I can't kill him. He is way more powerful than me.

And even if I managed to strike him down, the other members probably know we were inside and watching us closely.

Even if I somehow escaped this mansion, Boss wanted me dead. It wouldn't matter if I'd free myself from him.

I'm dead, either way.

And the only way to make sure I die on my terms is...

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and quickly pointed the dagger to my throat, sending my arm as powerfully as I could towards my carotid artery.

Penetrating this artery would most likely result in a quick death. I would bleed out quickly, it would only hurt for a few minutes.

~

"What the fuck?!" I heard Bang Chan's voice loud and clear, and although I braced myself for the blade's fury, I could only feel my hand being held back forcefully.

I opened my eyes, shaking.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." was the only thing I could blurt out, as Chan took the dagger out of my hand.

"What the actual fuck, Emilia. That was a test to see if I can trust you not to kill me, but I wasn't expecting you to try and commit suicide. For fuck's sake." He spit out.

"I'm... sorry?" I said, unsure of what just happened and why he's stopped me. Quite annoyed, I ranted "Why did you stop me? Just kill me already! I'm ready to die!" tears streaming down my face once again.

"I don't want to kill you. It'd be a waste of talent. So how about we make a deal? Follow me, join SKZ, and let's get revenge on that old bastard together. I've always hated his guts, you wanted to leave his mafia anyway. He'll think you died; we'll have enough time to plan his death."

"Wh-"

"So, what do you say?"

"I – I don't know. I mean, yes, but, how can you trust me? Aren't you taking a big risk here?"

"You should learn to keep your pretty mouth shut sometimes; it might make some overthink their decisions if you plant doubt like that." He caressed my cheek. "Not me, though, my intuition tells me to trust you."

"O-okay. But, I want to be free to choose things for myself. I don't want to be a bird in a cage if I choose to... join you."

"No one in SKZ is here forcefully. My only request is to kill that bastard, but other than that, you're free to do whatever you please. Once he's dead, you can start a new life somewhere else, for all I care, or you can continue to stay here. Whichever you want."

"Really?"

"Mhm."

"But why?"

"Your questions are getting annoying."

"Then... how should we seal the deal?" I asked, Chan picking up on my underlying question.

"So you do want my body tonight, huh?" he smirked, closing the distance between our lips and laying me on the bed again.

Our kisses were even more intense than before, both of us hungry for the other's touch.

"Fuck, you're hot." I mouthed in between the wet kisses we were sharing.

Chan moaned at that and stopped, looking me straight in the eyes.

"Fuck, you're beautiful. I want you so much, I could break you."

I felt myself blush at his sudden confession, before unconsciously tensing.

"Everything all right? We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"I do want it, but..."

"But?" he raised a brow.

"Don't laugh."

Chan was now even more confused, but he nodded in agreement, so I took a deep breath and confessed, quietly.

"I, uhm... it's my first time."

"WHAT? How the fuck, when you look like that?" he asked, surprised.

"It's just... no one's made me feel horny before. But you, fuck, I want you." I cursed, looking at the bulge in his pants and feeling my legs clenching again. "Please take care of me."

"Such a needy girl." He praised and caressed my head gently, before kissing me again, his tongue deeper than before. "Baby, I might be a monster to most, but tonight, I'll be a gentleman to you, I promise."

He quickly took off his shirt, exposing his toned abs, and continued leaving wet trails on my neck.

Each time his lips grazed my skin, I could feel myself burning, and I moaned with pleasure under his every touch.

He made me stand up so he could take off my dress, leaving my body bare in front of him.

"Damn." He muttered under his breath, as he pulled me closer, his hands touching me everywhere.

His mouth was going lower and lower, and I whined in anticipation. I wanted his tongue connecting to my core, but instead, he decided to tease me, not touching me where I needed him most.

He kissed my thighs, sometimes his teeth grazing my soft skin and making me moan again and again.

"Please, touch me."

Chan chuckled. "Where?"

I groaned. I couldn't wait anymore, so I grabbed a chunk of his hair and pointed his head to my crotch.

"You're lucky this is your first time, otherwise I would've punished you like hell for this."

Even though his tone was harsh, Chan complied and gently licked my core.

The pleasure was too much, my knees growing weaker, and soon enough I fell on the bed.

"Can't handle it, baby? We just started."

He pushed me further on the bed and made sure we both sat comfortably, before he started eating me out again. His tongue drew circles on my clit, sending waves of pleasure.

Kissing his way up my lips again and initiating another passionate kiss, he quickly moved his mouth and focused on my neck again, pushing two fingers into my mouth.

"Suck." He commanded, and I listened and sucked on them to the best of my ability.

"Good girl." He praised, before his lips met mine again.

He took the two fingers to my slit and started rubbing me slowly. I couldn't even kiss him right because I moaned each time he moved.

"Never did this before, baby?"

I shook my head.

"Then you're gonna love this."

As he said that, he slowly inserted his index finger, his mouth moving to my right breast, sucking on my nipple gently.

He was moving the finger in and out, and when he noticed I've relaxed more, he asked:

"Think you can handle one more?"

As the words left his mouth, he put his middle finger inside as well, earning another small moan from me.

His hand movements were slow, but he was hitting all the right spots, making me pant for air and put my arms around his neck, pointing his mouth to my neck, place he gladly took as he began to kiss my neck gently.

Just as I was reaching my high, he pulled his fingers out.

"Wh-" I looked at him with doe eyes, not understanding why he stopped.

"You're so needy." Chan chuckled. "Soon, baby."

Chan unbuckled his belt, his bulge even more obvious through his underwear, which he was quick to cast aside.

I couldn't take my eyes off him. He looked so hot, his body toned and his member... quite impressive.

"Like what you see?"

I licked my lips and stood up a bit, pulling him above me and kissing him. His tip was now aligned with my entrance, and he groaned as he slowly started to push in.

It was painful enough to make me dug my nails in his back. Small tears formed in the corner of my eyes.

"Are you okay?" Chan asked. "Does it hurt a lot?"

"Mhm. It does."

"Want me to stop?"

"No, baby, keep going." I replied, hearing him groan at the nickname.

He caressed my face with his thumbs as he continued to push in me, in an attempt to comfort me.

I whimpered as he worked his whole length inside.

"Shh, I know, baby." He comforted me again. "Just relax, it will feel better soon, I promise."

He picked up the pace, stretching my walls, and I could feel the pain being replaced with something different. A new kind of pleasure.

"You fit me so well, baby. You're so good." Chan praised me, moans escaping his lips.

Instead of hovering over me, he changed positions and stood on his knees, taking my legs and placing them on his shoulders, supporting my body weight as my bum was no longer touching the sheets.

Like this, he was reaching even deeper than before, touching a very sweet spot inside of me.

"Fuck, you're doing amazing. Right there, baby. Please keep it up." I praised him as well, watching as his face contorted with pleasure.

Just a few more thrusts made me reach a powerful climax and grab the sheets under me powerfully, moaning Chan's name over and over.

His movements were quick to become sloppy, and without warning, he pushed one last time inside before releasing himself in me.

His eyes became big, as he started to frantically apologise.

"Shit. Fuck. I wasn't supposed to... Fuck. I'm so sorry. I couldn't control it. Damn, this never happened before."

"That's okay... I'm on BC."

"On Bang Chan?" he joked and winked, making me slap his hand playfully. "Why are you on birth control though, if you aren't having any sex? Or weren't, I guess."

"Menstrual issues."

"I see." He nodded.

After losing my virginity, I suddenly felt the need to receive some after care and attention.

Fucking hormones, I thought, realising how dumb it was to expect Chan, essentially a cold-hearted mafia leader, to comfort me and make me feel loved.

And what a dumb word this was, love.

I looked down at my hands and an involuntary sigh left my lips.

As I tried to get up in an attempt to find my clothes and get the hell out of this room, my feet gave in, and I fell back down on the bed.

"Where are you going, hm?" Chan asked softly, his hand gripping my arm and pulling me next to him, his body engulfing me in a hug.

"I just thought-"

"Let's sleep for now and think tomorrow, okay?"

I allowed myself to relax in his arms and closed my eyes, falling asleep quickly.

---

Chapter 2

#stray kids #straykids #stray kids smut #stray kids masterlist #stray kids mafia #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids fanfic #stray kids imagines #bang chan #bang chan smut #bang chan fluff #bang chan imagines #stray kids angst #skz #skz fanfic #skz fluff #skz smut #skz imagines #changbin #lee know #hyunjin #han jisung #seungmin #felix #jeongin #san ateez #momo #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #wattpad

[kalinara]

Just saw someone call Ted's kindness/attitude selfish and for himself,not others as a trauma response and sth about that view, which isnt entirely wrong, really bugs me but I cant articulate why, maybe cause it's a narrow view of the character or the idea that actions have to be purely selfish or selfless is a little simplistic? What do you think?

I get immensely annoyed by that kind of read.

Honestly, I think it's just a symptom of overly cynical people who don't want to admit that kindness is a good thing and that we should all try to be better people to each other.

Because, in the end, I think that's the point of the show.

Obviously, Ted has his own issues. He's got a lot unaddressed, and sometimes he uses his kindness as a mask to hide his own negative feelings behind. It's clear that not addressing these feelings is a major problem for him, keeping him from being able to move beyond them.

If you don't acknowledge your anger, you can't address it, you can't move past it, and you can't forgive it. It just stays with you and causes more pain.

But in this past episode, we actually got to see Ted do a good thing and finally express some of his anger. And how does he do that?

He does it kindly. He speaks to Michelle respectfully. He doesn't attack her. He expresses his feelings, while owning that they are his feelings. He acknowledges that the situation is complicated, but that her behavior hurt him. He articulates why.

And Michelle is kind back to him. It's pretty clear that she's surprised and a little hurt by what he said. Certainly, she could respond with anger and defensiveness. She could argue with him and criticize his own behavior and turn it into a fight. But she doesn't. She knows how hard this is for him to say and her slight sad smile at the end seems to appreciate that this is progress for him.

It's not going to fix everything, of course, and they may not agree, but now they can have a real discussion about it. (Later. When the time is right.)

I think Ted maybe has spent most of his life believing that being angry and being kind are incompatible, and he chose to be kind instead. In that sense, the kindness is a detriment, I suppose, but that's only because Ted thinks that he has to make a choice. It isn't until Doctor Sharon: when he lashes out at her...definitely UNkindly, and she gently, firmly and kindly calls him out the next appointment, that he realizes you can be both.

Hurt people hurt people is a theme in the show, but so is the idea that we can be better than that. Rebecca's not wrong to be mad at Rupert (or Bex, for that matter), but she doesn't get anywhere when she sinks to his level. It's only when she stays above it, when she firmly tells him that his wife and daughter deserve better, looking out for his family in a way that he never did - that's when we see Rupert, for the first time, actually seem nonplussed. She won that encounter without ever meaning to, because that wasn't the point.

So, sorry, this is a big tangent. Is Ted's kindness selfless or selfish? Yes. But does that mean he shouldn't be kind? Nope. He's just got to figure out how to be everything else that he needs to be too.

#ted lasso #theodore lasso

[loverofpiggies]

Just read through your whole post and hot dang. I'm honestly really proud of you, and the amount of growth you've had. it's not easy to look inward, and it's certainly not easy to confront those things in our past that make us the way we are, but I'm glad you did. A few bits hit a bit close to home for me as well. Back before my egg cracked and I realized I was trans, I would get picked on by my siblings a lot. I'd get called a girl, and given "girly" names. It was the worst, and I tried to fight back, but it never helped. That and having such deep wells of anger in me all the time, and not really knowing why, or how to get rid of them, or if I even could. I relate a lot to those feelings, and I also relate to having those feelings gradually going away as soon as I addressed the underlying problem(my transness) I dunno how much this will mean to you but for me, as a trans woman, I'm really proud of the journey you've been on. I hope you find yourself being more comfortable in your own skin, and I hope that you have a great day ^u^

Hey there! I won't lie. Posting my post had me pretty nervous. Anxiety and paranoia are things I kinda deal with anyway, but. I felt like I was hiding my problems for too long, and in my heart (as sappy as I may sound) I believed if I just opened up about what I've felt my last few years and was honest, that people would accept it. It was scary to post at all! But... I want to say, that all the messages I've gotten have meant the world. So it means so, so much to hear you say this, especially from a trans woman. To hear that my experiences with my own gender, even being cis, were things trans people have dealt with, was a huge eye opener. And as you could tell from my post, those deep wells of anger you felt, god I know that feeling.

Part of my guilt, anger and shame from this, is actually why I went so quiet online for so long. It's hard to parse all of my emotions, but I've also always had this terrible feeling I never 'deserved' anything good that happened, because 'I was so horrible'. That's also why I had to stop working on Gloomverse. I didn't feel like I deserved the followers I had, or any of that. Truthfully I'm not in the right place to work on GV at this point in time anyway (Partly because I've been so obsessed with game dev fun) but it was a significant factor that caused me to stop. And I was too ashamed to admit it, even to myself, why I really did.

But messages like yours, and the messages I've gotten for my most recent post... I think I'm repeating myself, so I'm sorry, but it's hard to express how free I feel now. I feel like this monstrous weight has been lifted, and maybe I shouldn't have been to harsh about what I 'deserve'. I feel like I'm the happiest I've been in years! So yes. Your message means a lot to me, and I'm glad my post resonated with people. I just hope talking about my experiences can help someone else, too. Also don't worry, I recognize I'm not actually horrible! Horrible people don't feel bad about doing and thinking horrible things, and that was another thing I had to slap my own face to wake me up from.

Okay yall, I promise now my blog will return to fun silly stuff!

#tw: transphobia #transphobia #cqchat

[rose-riot-johnson]

Hey Rose. I got a random request but, could you do a fanfic of a male reader as Spider-Man and he's in a romantic relationship with the Lizard (1994 TAS) and they end up having a fight that's resolved with love? If that's too much, I'm sorry.

I will see what I can do with this request😃👍While there's another request I completed (it's took me a while to work on😅), as for your request it may take a while to work on and I wanted to makesure I do read the request correctly before I start, so I can definitely see with this request😃👍

*This fanfic contains 1 or more long paragraphs😅

🦎🕷️An Argument Resolved With Love🕷️🦎(Reader (as Spider-Man) x The Lizard(Real name; Curt Connors)

Genres: Angst To Comfort To Fluff

Eversince you became Spider-Man, you began your relationship with Curt Connors, who is known as, "The Lizard". Your boyfriend Curt Connors has been helping you with any problems you come across, especially problems that require science and the problems that you require comfort from him on. However one day, you came into the home the both of you share together, and it seems like you had a bad (day or night) with fighting crime.

When Curt first saw you, since coming in the home the both of you share together, he knew something was bothering you, so he asked, "What's wrong? What's bothering you, (Male Reader Name)?", then continued, "You know I will do my best to be there for you with your bad day...". You then snapped, "You really want to know what's bothering me, Curt?! I can't do anything right with fighting crime today! This villain is hard for me to defeat! I don't know how I became a hero, in the first place! This villain would have been easier for any hero to defeat, especially easier for you! I'm not cut out to be a super hero!".

Curt was shocked about everything you just said, so he replied, "Is this what you really believe, (Male Reader Name)?! I think you're wrong about something! I'm sure other heroes, especially I would have a hard time fighting the villain you were talking about! I'm, so disappointed in you for hearing you say that! You should should be grateful you have any opportunity to fight crime at all, (Male Reader Name)! If this is how you feel, then don't talk to me until you gather your barrings! Seriously, you need to cool off!". As Curt was heading to the bedroom the both of you share together, you replied back, "Wait, Curt... I'm sorry... I shouldn't have snapped at you... I'm sorry for how I was acting just now... I just wasn't sure what else to do and I was worried you would break up with me, if you were to see me as useless because I couldn't capture the villain all by myself...". Curt had to think about your apology and why you snapped at him, so he went to comfort you, by hugging you and saying, "You're never useless to me, (Male Reader Name)... I'm sure everyone needs some form of help from time to time... It's actually impossible for anyone to do anything by themselves, you know... So, I won't leave you over you not being able to capture the villain you mentioned about fighting... That would be a mistake to leave you for such petty reason... And I forgive you, (Male Reader Name)...", as he started to pet your head. You then hugged him, sobbing on his shoulders, as Curt cooed, "It's okay, (Male Reader Name)... Let it out if you feel the need to... There's nothing wrong with letting it out..."

Once you stopped sobbing and Curt finished comforting you, he decided to set up for the both of you the have movie time together after a short argument and an understanding. While the both of you were snuggling and watching a movie together, the both of had (hot beverage of reader's choice) and plenty of popcorn to share together. The both of you figured there's nothing better than to eat popcorn, drinking (hot beverage of reader's choice), and snuggling together, while watching a movie together after a rough (day or night). After the both of you finished drinking (hot beverage of reader's choice), you feel asleep into Curt Connors' arms, then he feel asleep while you were in his arms. The both of you continued to snuggle fast asleep in harmony.

🕷️🦎The End🦎🕷️

I hope you enjoyed this Spider-Man (who is male reader) and Lizard fanfic, my Tumblr Peeps😃👍As for you DJ, I hope I did well with this request and hopefully it wasn't too much time with writing this fanfic😅😃👍I still hope you enjoyed the fanfic as well, DJ😁👍

@writers-requiem

#rose riot writings #fanfic written by rose riot johnson #rose riot johnson #request answered by rose riot johnson #rose riot answers #94 Spiderman animated series #angst to comfort to fluff #spiderman male reader x the lizard

[simnostalgia]

can’t lie dude there’s a massive difference between somebody having a photo of their teen sim in an underwear and “proship” where people openly support incestuous and pedophilic relationships. between you and me (and i’m saying this on anon bc i don’t want to get involved with any of this 😭) all of this is dumb but there’s a massive difference between falsely accusing somebody over THE SIMS and somebody who thinks it’s fine to look at art of a grown ass adult fucking a child because it’s fiction. your concerns are valid but you’re getting that mess of discourse mixed in with this for nothing. had a fun time on your blog while it lasted tho

super long rant but...

I've said this before and people got mad at me but like... I don't disagree with anything you're saying honestly. Like, OBVIOUSLY a full grown adult shouldn't be fucking a child. That's FUCKED UP.

But I mean, clearly the people who said that didn't think so? I mean, isn't that sort of the problem with this sort of thinking? Everyone thinks that THEIR extremely specific idea of what is and is not reasonable to assume is the right one.

I mean, take furries for instance. Doesn't anyone find it weird that we don't target furries that way? I mean, you may argue that "Well, anthro animals DON'T exist so we're not worried about protecting them" But we've seen SEVERAL groups of furries that have actually ended up being active zoophiles but not many groups of fanfic writers who were actually pedophiles working as some sort of cabal.

Like, I'm not trying to throw furries under the bus. But why do we all assume that we understand that it's harmless as they understand the difference between fiction and reality?

I'm not arguing that it's RIGHT or WRONG, I'm arguing that there seems to be no cohesion in what most of the 'progressive sphere' regards as being kosher.

Why is it that we assume someone writing that sort of fiction is some sort of deviant and not just someone who want to see the actors portraying those characters together and yet assume differently for any other kink?

I think there is an ulterior motive to cause bouts of accusations and recrimination in queer spaces and that young queer people were wrong made to believe that this would benefit them, when really this rhetoric just feeds alt-right orgs like Gays Against Groomers.

They know what they're doing. And many progressives in our spaces don't want to hear it because accusations have become a good way to get rid of those you don't like with flimsy evidence and even flimsier arguments. Once someone asked me to help them get rid of @blueheavensims because he was making poseboxes that were 'kind of rapey' and when I was like "'would you be willing to help me contact that advertisers for hunter420x's website, who has actual animations of children being molested" she was like "no, sorry".

and while I'm not naming names, this is someone that many of you know and respect as a simmer with 'good values'.

This isn't about what you should and shouldn't be allowed to write because honestly that was never the issue. It was about giving young progressives the rhetorical tools to destroy themselves for petty interpersonal drama while the right reaps the reward of figuring out how to get queers to accuse THEMSELVES of being pedophiles by co-opting progressive language.

Everytime I see a 20 year old with a 'dni proship' i assume its someone who would spit on an actual SA victim before helping them. You just pretend to care about this shit because it makes you feel like a better person when you're trying to ruin someone's life.

TL;DR: Write whatever the fuck you want. The people who will get mad at you generally care less about you doing it than how it looks. They'll tear down the person who said something they don't like over the actual powerful pederast every time. It's all performative bullshit.

Like, it's not that hard to see what most of you are doing, you're NOT that slick.

#VERY much done pretending any of you actually care about the things you say you do #proshitter #pro shit #pro shipper #proship

[tenebraevesper]

Five Nights at Freddy's: Salvaged, Night 22: Machinations

''These Machinations carry on, for years beyond the trauma. It's haunted us, for 30 years, still waiting for the karma. These Machinations near the end, our souls will find their rest, now, it's time to pray, it's time to judge, and say good-bye old friend.''

– Machinations by StardustLegend ft. Eleanor Forte (Five Nights at Freddy's)

xXxXxXx

Sam and Springtrap were standing in silence for a few seconds, waiting for the entity to speak again, but there was no follow-up to the earlier comment. Springtrap then looked at Sam.

''So, you heard them too,'' he said, with Sam nodding. ''It seems like your near-death experience with the remnant had another effect on you.''

''It's not a bad thing,'' Sam replied. ''If someone has a problem with you, they will have to deal with me first.''

''That's kind of you, but you shouldn't have to deal with every issue I have to deal with,'' Springtrap told her.

''I don't have a problem with that,'' Sam replied, with Springtrap sighing.

''I should've known you'd say that,'' he said. ''In any case, you should go and rest.''

''Okay,'' Sam said as she sat back on the bed. ''But we're not done with this conversation.''

''Of course not,'' Springtrap said sarcastically, but then gave her an affectionate pat on the head. He then frowned as he thought back to his mental breakdown.

''What's wrong?'' Sam asked, noticing his concerned look.

''I hate to admit it, but I feel like I'm losing myself,'' Springtrap admitted, sitting down next to her.

''I hope you don't mean that you're losing your sanity like before,'' Sam said.

''No, don't worry,'' Springtrap told her, glancing at her. ''I mean, it's not like before, when I decided to just give into my bloodthirst. I'm actually torn between whether to continue like this or just leave.''

''I understand that it's hard, but you have my support,'' Sam said. ''I don't want you to leave.''

''I know. That's why I'm still here,'' Springtrap said.

''Of course you're here because of her. Only not for the reasons she thinks.''

''You're wrong about that,'' Springtrap replied in an annoyed tone. He then glanced at Sam, who nodded.

''Okay, I can hear you too, now,'' Sam told the entity. ''Could you tell me why you believe that Springtrap is here to harm me?''

''Isn't it obvious? He's a murderer and he'll kill you too!''

''No, I won't,'' Springtrap replied. The entity chuckled.

''Keep telling yourself that.''

''Wait,'' Sam interrupted the two. ''Before we continue, who are you? Why are you here? What is your reason for tormenting Springtrap? How come only now I can hear you too? Why don't you show yourself? Do you know-''

''Hey, stop with the questions! I can't answer them all!''

''I'm curious as well,'' Springtrap said, a smug grin on his expression as he realized that that entity was in distress. He also felt relieved now that he didn't have to deal with that entity alone anymore.

''No!''

''Fine,'' Sam said, with Springtrap being a little surprised that she didn't press on. However, knowing her, he was aware that she wouldn't let it go so easily and find another way to get her answers. Sam crossed her legs, leaning over. ''Could you at least tell me why you're targeting William? I mean, I don't mind his presence here.''

''But, you should! He's a bad friend and an evil man.''

Sam glanced at Springtrap, who had a look of guilt on his expression. She tilted her head.

''That may be true, but you're completely ignoring all the times he showed remorse for his actions and actually tried to be a good friend,'' she said, then gave a sour smile. ''Although, he does have issues.''

''That's why he needs to leave! Or do you want to be his next victim?''

''Listen, I appreciate your concern, but you and your friends are not helping at all,'' Sam said, waiting for the entity to answer. They didn't, although Springtrap did gave her a strange look. ''I understand why you hate him, and I'd probably too if I were in your situation. Sorry, Will,'' she added with a look of guilt. Springtrap shook his head.

''It's fine.''

''In any case, you cannot force people to change their mind, or at least, you cannot force me to change my opinion of William,'' Sam continued. She then frowned. ''Also, in case you meet up with your friends again, tell them that I didn't appreciate their offer of me leaving along with them. I get it that you're kids and don't know better, but that was the wrong thing to say, especially to someone who still has the choice to come back.''

''I have no idea what you're talking about,'' the entity replied. ''I'm just here to protect you from him! He isn't honest with you at all!''

''If that's true, then how come that I always explain everything I can to Sam?'' Springtrap interrupted. He then frowned. ''At least, I try to…''

''You don't tell her everything. Besides, you are hiding behind a mask.''

''Ironically, I actually became the mask,'' Springtrap said sarcastically, with Sam looking quite amused.

''I don't think that's funny.'' The entity sounded quite annoyed. ''Don't say I didn't warn you once he hurts you.''

Sam didn't reply, with her and Springtrap waiting in silence in order to see whether the entity had anything else to say. They didn't, with the two feeling that, after their warning, the entity decided to leave the alone. Springtrap then glanced at Sam.

''I had already told you that I don't want to hurt you,'' he said, his ear lowering. ''However, I can't say that they aren't right about me being a bad friend or not quite honest with you.''

''Will, I am aware that there are certain things you hate to talk about. That doesn't mean that you aren't honest with me,'' Sam replied. ''I mean, if I asked you directly about it, would you just shrug it off and lie to me or actually try to explain it the best way you can?''

''Of course I would try to explain it the best way I can,'' Springtrap told her, now a little more confident. However, the confidence crumbled as he felt that whatever he said or did, it just wasn't enough to prove that he was different from his past self. ''Nevertheless, you still have to force an answer out of me and even then, you do it based on an assumption.''

''True…'' Sam muttered. ''Is there something you want to tell me? Don't worry, I won't get angry at you if you wanted to keep it a secret.''

''It is not exactly a secret, but I actually never specified how I discovered remnant. I mean, you, and now Emma, know that I found out about it because of the murders,'' Springtrap explained.

''However, there's more to it, right?'' Sam said. Springtrap nodded.

''Of course, this is also partially speculation on my part, but I do believe that there's some evidence behind my theories,'' he added. ''After all, it was already proven that remnant does tie a soul to a body.''

''Yeah, like with Mike,'' Sam said, only for her expression to darken. ''Or what happened to me.''

''Sam, you died…''

''I don't think I really did die,'' Sam interrupted him. ''I mean, it's not like my heart suddenly stopped beating, else the hospital staff would've been alarmed. I believe that, while my body didn't cease to function, my soul probably did detach itself from it, at least for a brief time.''

''That's where you met my former victims, right?'' Springtrap said, looking rather anxious. His eyes glowed purple. Still, they had left, didn't they. Why would they even want to come back? Unless…

''Considering that they knew I was friends with you and hated you, yeah,'' Sam said. ''However, that's not the issue here.''

''You mentioned that they wanted you to leave and that you refused…'' Springtrap's eyes flared purple as he realized something. ''You had the opportunity to come back, didn't you? However, they wanted you to leave with them, meaning you would've died for good if you had agreed.''

''It seems so,'' Sam said, leaning back against the pillow on her bed. ''While remnant did cause me entering that state, it was also the only thing tying my soul to my body. I mean, imagine a soul as a balloon. The string you're holding is remnant.''

''Still, why would they even tell you to leave? It's not like you were trapped or anything like that,'' Springtrap said.

''I guess that they consider being friends with you a fate worse than death,'' Sam replied, with Springtrap frowned. She gave him a sympathetic look. ''Well, the only experience they had with you was death, while I got introduced to an animatronic who is a dork with some serious psychological issues and haunted by the soul of a broken man and murderer. I got the opportunity to know you, and they're not happy about that.''

''Why would they? I don't deserve any sympathy,'' Springtrap said, glancing at Sam curiously. ''Still, you refuse to give up on me.''

''That's the main reason why I didn't want to leave with them,'' Sam replied. Springtrap felt warmth spreading through his chest, glad to hear that. ''However, that doesn't mean that one of them didn't follow you back.''

''So, you think that that entity we just spoke to and who was tormenting me the whole time was a kid I had murdered before?'' Springtrap asked.

''It would make sense. I mean, who else would hate you so much that they would want continue with the torture, whether you deserved it or not,'' Sam said.

''Believe me, Sam, I did deserve it,'' Springtrap said, then sighed, lowering his head. ''Even if they only had their souls trapped inside the animatronics, I still put them through torture.''

''Yeah, and you payed for that,'' Sam said in a stern tone. Springtrap looked up at her, noticing the determined look on her expression. ''It would've been understandable if your former victims, not even those children, but someone like Henry as well, went after you because you refuse to change, but that is not the case here. You have shown remorse and the desire to at be a better person. It frustrates me that they are still clinging to the idea of a murderer in a bunny costume trying to gain my trust only to kill me in my sleep.''

''The only problem with that is that I nearly killed you while you were asleep,'' Springtrap pointed out bitterly. Sam rolled her eyes, looking irritated.

''It's not like you wanted to do that,'' she said in a dry tone.

''Still, this doesn't excuse my actions,'' Springtrap said as he stood up, walking over to the middle of the room and turning to her. ''When it comes to my past, I knew what I was doing. I knew what I wanted. Other people's lives meant very little to me, even that of my family. There's no way to sugarcoat it.'' He pointed at himself. ''Death was all I ever knew. I told you already that I wanted to kill because it made me feel better, as misery loves company. Only after I had took down that path had I discovered that there's a possibility for me to attain what is practically immortality. So, not only did I take people's lives, I also messed with their souls.'' His eyes flared purple. ''The remnant you're familiar with, it can only be formed when a soul has already attached itself to an animatronic. I don't know whether there's a way to artificially create it, but believe me, I didn't care. Brutal murder was the easiest way to achieve that.''

''You said that you used to be a technician…'' Sam said in a quiet tone. Springtrap lowered his head, with a look of disgust on his expression.

''Let's just say that repairing the animatronics wasn't the only thing I had done. I had figured that I could extract remnant and that I could use it to tie a soul to an animatronic much easier, or maybe even transfer the consciousness from one animatronic to another,'' he said. ''I don't know whether that process hurt them, but considering I had to often operate at higher temperatures so the substance would become malleable, and the fact that remnant breaks when heated excessively, I can only assume that it was agonizing.''

He thought back to the Fazbear Fright fire, as well as the inferno that finally managed to send his soul to Hell. While he could sense the heat chipping pieces of remnant away from him, eventually completely consuming him, he was more focused on finding an exit. He didn't want to part with the mortal realm yet. He looked at Sam, surprised that there was no look of hatred on her expression as he expected it to be. However, she showed no pity either. Instead, she looked just disappointed, not approving his actions.

''You know, if decided to turn up the temperature past the acceptable, you could've freed their souls,'' Sam said, turning to him as she sat on the edge of her bed.

''Which would've made the remnant completely useless,'' Springtrap replied. ''I told you already, people suffer because of my selfish desires, no matter whether I care about them or not. There's no way of escaping it.'' He walked over, crouching in front of her, his eyes glowing in a soft purple. ''Honestly, what I fear the most is that you'd hate me for what I had done, but I had expected that to happen the moment I decided to tell you everything. After all, you said that I need to do something terrible for that to happen, yet despite what I tell you, you never showed any sign that you loathe me. Hell, you even met my former victims who made it clear that if anything, I'm not the person you expect me to be. I have no disregard for human life, having coldly planned their deaths out and carried on with whatever I considered to be beneficial for me. So, why do you insist so much on defending me from others and from myself? Why don't you hate me?''

''William, let me make one thing clear – I had expected you to be much worse than this,'' Sam said.

''What do you mean?'' Springtrap stared at her in surprise.

''Considering everything you told me and everything I knew about you, I expected you to be some kind of predatory madman who lured children away from their families just for the sheer pleasure of taking someone's life. I expected you to be someone who deserves to be tortured for all eternity, someone who would never find any salvation. I expected you to manipulate and murder me the moment I showed any signs of trust towards you. I believed that you would eventually show just how much of a monster you are. You did not,'' Sam said, frowning. ''You were honest with me, you tried to explain to me what you did and why you did that, you told me that you wanted to change, at least a bit. You grew upset when I got hurt, because you were genuinely worried about me and because you cared about me. You showed remorse for what you had done and you tried to atone for it by becoming my friend and making me feel better. Even if I wanted to hate you, I couldn't because you completely failed to show me what a monster you are.''

Springtrap stared at her, shocked, while Sam smiled, looking quite satisfied.

''So, you are left now with two options,'' Sam continued. ''You can either live in fear that I would eventually start to hate you because of what you had done in the past, or you could accept the fact that, while the past will always have an effect on the present, it doesn't mean that it will affect everything. In this case, while it is true that I do believe that you deserved to be thrown into your own personal Hell for what you had done in the past, I don't think that you deserve to suffer so much because you are trying to become a better person.''

''You're so stubborn,'' Springtrap told her, honestly having no idea what else to say. ''Thank you.''

''My pleasure,'' Sam replied, smiling.

''Tsk, even if he failed to show you that he is a monster, he still is one because of what he had done in the past.''

Sam frowned, looking rather annoyed. She stood up, looking around, with Springtrap standing next to her.

''I know that you're right, and assuming that you heard what I said, does it really make you feel better that you're torturing someone who was given a second chance?'' Sam asked. ''Not only that, but, assuming that you were indeed one of William's victims, shouldn't have finally moved on and put your own soul to rest? You and your friends got what you wanted! William's my problem now, not yours!''

''First, yeah,'' the entity replied, sounding quite annoyed. ''Second, he deserves the torture! I don't want you to become his next victim!''

''So, you admit to be one of missing kids?'' Sam asked, a sly smile on her expression. The entity was silent, obviously not wanting to answer the question. ''So, I was right all along.''

''So what if you were?''

''Well, it gives me a better understanding of your motives,'' Sam explained. ''I get it that you don't want more victims, but you chose the wrong way to make that message clear. I mean, you could've warned me instead of tormenting William, and causing him to hallucinate and lash out at me.''

''It still worked,'' the kid said dryly.

''It did not,'' Sam replied in a deadpan tone. ''But, seriously, why don't you leave? You should be free to go. Why are you still here? I mean, isn't being free what you wanted? Rest your own soul and leave the demon to his demons. There's nothing you can do to change this situation.''

''It doesn't matter. I still want to see him suffer.''

Sam then gave Springtrap a sympathetic gaze.

''I don't think you'd get rid of this kid so easily,'' she said.

''I know,'' Springtrap muttered, only to wince when he heard the kid giggle. Even though I escaped Hell, it still followed me.

xXx

Done.

Connor was staring at Quentin's endoskeleton, before reaching for the head and putting it back on the hedgehog animatronic. The animatronic remained dormant, with Connor smiling in satisfaction. He was just done upgrading all of the animatronics, telling the manager that it was just a safety precaution. After all, Ricky's couldn't afford more accidents, could it?

Connor remember how just a day ago, a detective and a police officer showed up to question everyone again about Bella's disappearance. He couldn't really offer them more information other than the fact that when he saw her the last time, she was still standing alone in the rain. After all, they wouldn't understand him if he just told them what really happened.

''But, you and your friends understand me, don't you?'' Connor told Quentin. ''We are not letting more of those accidents happen, are we? Of course, that doesn't mean that we won't get rid off those who don't understand just how lucky they are to be here.''

He then put the battery back into the animatronic, dragging him outside the room and leaving to roam the location. He then closed the door, glancing at the costume on the table. In about half an hour, it would be his turn to roam through the building as Ricky, so he had plenty of time to prepare.

He reached for his pocket, looking at his smartphone and scrolling through the newspaper articles he downloaded. All of them were about Freddy's, but he didn't really have the time to go through all of them. He was actually impatient to finally start the night shift, as he'd be left alone, allowed to finally take his time to proceed with his plans.

xXx

''Do you think we should tell Emma about the effects remnant had on you?'' Springtrap asked Sam. The two were in the kitchen, with Sam having gotten hungry and making herself a sandwich, while Springtrap was leaned against the kitchen counter, his arms crossed.

''You mean the fact that I was in Limbo or the fact that I'm now able to hear spirits?'' Sam replied.

''Preferably, the latter,'' Springtrap said, shuddering. He didn't want to see Emma's reaction concerning the former.

''I think we should keep quiet about it, at least for now,'' Sam said, putting the sandwich into the microwave. ''She will find about it eventually, but it I think it would be better if she finds out about it once everything quiets down.''

''You're right, but I don't think that her reaction will be less bad than it would be if we told her now,'' Springtrap said. ''If you want to tell her about it, feel free to do it,'' Sam said, shrugging.

''I never said that I would,'' Springtrap protested.

''I know. Only a few are brave enough to face my mother's wrath and live to tell the tale,'' Sam said. Springtrap couldn't figure out whether she was teasing him or was completely serious about it.

''To be honest, I have met a lot of parents, but none of them ever managed to intimidate me the way Emma did,'' he said.

''Really, what did they say?'' Sam asked him, taking the sandwich out of the microwave.

''The usual, like, if a kid tripped and scraped their knee, that they would sue the restaurant for negligence – despite the fact that there was a sign that said in huge, bold letters that parents are responsible for their children and that the restaurant isn't liable for whatever happens to them,'' Springtrap explained as they went to the living room. ''Considering that most of them wanted to see the manager, you can imagine that I was the one who had to deal with all those bloody idiots who just pretended that they were worried about their precious snowflakes, but in reality wanted free food or money.''

Sam noted the bitterness in Springtrap's tone. It was more than obvious that he hated dealing with entitled people.

''I hope they didn't win any lawsuits,'' Sam said as they sat down on the couch.

''They didn't, mostly because I made sure that they wouldn't. I kept the footage with me, pointed out that there were more than enough warning signs and that the kid and their parents were at fault for not following the rules,'' Springtrap explained. ''Of course, after Henry and I left and the management set up by Fazbear Entertainment stepped up, things went out of control. While I am responsible for most of it, the new management was also quite incompetent.''

''Yeah, they would just cover up everything rather than investigate,'' Sam added. ''Hopefully, the new Freddy's location will survive.''

''Considering I'm the only murderous animatronic left and I'm more interested in spending time with you, they might,'' Springtrap said. ''Unless they mess something up.''

''Well, I don't have high hopes,'' Sam said, giving him an eager look. ''Anyways, do you have any more stories from when you still worked at the Freddy's franchise before its downfall? I'd like to hear more.''

''Of course I have,'' Springtrap said, relaxing a little. He didn't mind complaining about his former patrons and rest assured, he had met some crazy people during his time as the manager. ''There was this lady who complained about a teenager not wanting to take her order and demanded that he should be fired. The only problem was that the teen didn't work at the restaurant. Not only that, but the lady must've been quite stupid, or blind, since she didn't notice that he wasn't wearing the uniform and nametag typical for the staff. Also, another employee had approached us and said that he tried to get the lady's attention, but instead she went for the teen that was standing right next to him.''

''How can someone be so dumb?'' Sam chuckled.

''Search me,'' Springtrap said. ''She started screeching at me for lying and covering for lazy employees, so I kicked her out. If you want to behave like an entitled idiot, be my guest, but I'm not going to let that happen at my restaurant.''

''Was anyone else with her?'' Sam asked.

''Apparently, her son was with her, but went for the arcades and didn't notice that she was gone until he came searching for her. It seemed that this wasn't the first time that happened, as he didn't show any reaction when he was told why his mother left,'' Springtrap added. ''Another incident that I remember involved a family, with the mother wanting a discount, because, and I quote, 'I know the owner. We're really good friends and he always gives me a discount and a free desert for my family.'.''

''Oh, God, she just had to pull the 'I know the owner' card,'' Sam said, grinning. ''How did this one play out?''

''The employee wasn't sure whether that was true, so she got me to handle the situation. That lady still demanded free food and, when I told her she wouldn't get any, she threatened that I would get fired for being so rude since she knows the owner. You should've seen the faces her family made when I told them that, actually, I was the owner and that I had never seen her before in my life,'' Springtrap said, grinning. ''Apparently, they had no idea that she was lying and actually apologized on her behalf.''

''At least you got a good ending out of that one,'' Sam said, chuckling.

''Unfortunately, this wasn't my only 'I know the owner' story,'' Springtrap said. ''Once I figured that this was happening more often than I thought, I decided to try out different responses. The most memorable was the guy who told us that he knew that the owner's name is Freddy, which I sincerely doubt, unless Henry or I unknowingly changed our names.''

Sam burst out laughing, with Springtrap being glad to see her like this, enjoying their interaction. He was actually interested in telling her more stories, as long as he could keep her happy.

''I'm surprised that you even had the patience to deal with those people,'' Sam said.

''I had to have the patience to deal with them, because Henry wouldn't,'' Springtrap said. ''While he was fine talking to customers, the moment he saw that there would be trouble, he would claim he was busy and let me deal with it. While he would try to make up for it, noting that I was much better with solving such problems, I would still be bitter because of the lack of support. It was getting annoying after a while.''

''I guess that he wasn't really good with confrontation,'' Sam said, shrugging.

''Now that I think about it, he wasn't, but it seems that he grew out of it,'' Springtrap replied, crossing his arms and leaning back on the couch. ''In any case, I could go on forever about what kind of crazy people I had to deal with.''

''Sadly, entitled people will always exist. You'd think that, when reading articles on sites like Reddit, that they are a species of their own, joined by other people like religious nutcases, hardcore conspiracy theorists and anti-vaxxers,'' Sam said. ''Not to mention, they are also good candidates for the Darwin Award. To quote Dr. House: 'Darwin says: let him die'.'' There was a small pause, with her adding, ''He also taught me that it's never lupus.''

''I… guess you're right,'' Springtrap said, looking a little puzzled about the reference. Sam just grinned. ''So, do you have any other plans for today?''

''Well,…'' Sam fidgeted. ''I know that after this experience, it is probably a bad idea to go back, but I really do want to return to Circus Baby's. I'm still not done with that location.''

''I should've expected that you would say that,'' Springtrap said. ''However, I doubt that Emma would allow you to leave just like that.''

''She said that I'd be allowed to go if I didn't show any signs of fatigue, didn't she?''

Sam and Springtrap exchanged questioning looks, not sure about Emma's reaction about their plans. While they hoped for a positive outcome, they had a bad feeling about this.

xXx

''So, how do you feel?'' Emma asked Sam, placing her hand on Sam's forehead. It was evening and Emma had just gotten back from work.

''I'm fine,'' Sam replied. ''You can ask Springtrap if you want.''

''Did anything happen?'' Emma looked at Springtrap, with the latter trying to hide the anxiety he felt.

''No, she didn't show any signs of getting worse. It seems that it was just a fever,'' he said.

''Oh, really? Then, why are you two looking so nervous?'' Emma crossed her arms, glaring at both of them.

''Well, I wanted to ask you if I'm not grounded anymore,'' Sam said, giving Emma a sheepish look. Emma looked at her suspiciously, as if contemplating to extend Sam's punishment. She then smiled.

''No, you aren't grounded anymore,'' she said, with Sam looking relieved.

''Awesome! May I borrow the car?''

''No.''

Sam stared at her mother, stunned.

''Why not?''

''We agreed that you're free to go wherever you want, but I never said anything about borrowing you the car,'' Emma explained, twirling the keychain with the car keys around her finger. ''If you want to go somewhere, you will have to go by foot, use your bicycle or public transport.'' She shook her head. ''Did you really think that I wouldn't figure out where you would go once I lift your punishment?''

Sam bit her lip, knowing that she should've expected that. Springtrap was rather awestruck by Emma's move, realizing that she actually thought this out. By refusing to give Sam the car, she also denied them access to the Machinations Factory and Circus Baby's Entertainment and Rental. It was quite simple, but now they couldn't carry on with their investigation.

''So, is there anything else you need?'' Emma turned to Sam.

''No…'' Sam said in a defeated tone, then went towards the stairs. She understood that her mother meant well and feared that she might get hurt again, but she was still disappointed about it. Springtrap glanced at Emma, who seemed to be upset about Sam's reaction.

''Honestly, I don't want her to leave now,'' Emma told him, a little defensive. ''Maybe later.''

''I understand why you told her that,'' Springtrap said. ''Still, you said that she was free to go, right?''

''Yes…'' Emma looked confused. Springtrap grinned.

''I think I know just the right place that would cheer her up, is quite close and where she certainly wouldn't get herself accidentally hurt,'' he said. Emma gave him a curious look, then sighed.

''I hope you know what you're doing,'' she said.

''I assure you, you don't have worry about this,'' Springtrap said confidently, his eyes glowing purple.

xXx

Connor stared at the cameras, observing the animatronics as they were roaming around. As he approached them, they instantly went after him, believing him to be an intruder, which was exactly what he expected. After all, he was supposed to make Ricky's safer. However, he had made an additional upgrade.

He noticed Dahlia going towards his office, and pulled out an earpiece, putting it in his ear and turning it on. He took a deep breath and opened the door, with Dahlia suddenly turning towards him and reaching for him.

''Stop!'' he commanded, with Dahlia suddenly stopping. She stood in front of him, as if waiting for his next order. Connor grinned. He had programmed them to follow only a few simple orders, but he was quite satisfied with the results.

Not to mention, he figured that his old partner would be proud of his achievements.

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#Five Nights at Freddy's: The Untold Story (Masterlist)

#Five Nights at Freddy's: The Untold Story #Five Nights at Freddy's: Salvaged #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #springtrap #william afton #fnaf ghost children

[hypergamiss]

Hey, I wanted to ask advice from you since there isn't anyone else I can ask this. I've never been in a relationship before because I always wanted this very ideal kinda man who's driven and knows his worth but is in love w me and spoils me but in a healthy way. Now I'm in college and I'm really lonely. I figured if I wanted to be surrounded by better (high value) people, I would have to be one of them. But now I'm lonely and not sure if I can actually make it. I actually hang around people but guys are immature and girls kinda look down on me (it's like "I'm with you so I feel better about myself" or because I'm always smiling and child-like in my attitude which could be considered charming but I feel like since I'm not really physically attractive they think I'm some sort of clown or smth). I'm no one's favorite/special person and no one is mine, but when I try to get close to someone, I can quickly tell they think I'm disposable. So I stay away. And I don't know if I'm doing things right. I'm studying business stuff so making friends and having a social circle you belong in is very important, but I can't indulge in activities I don't like or be friends with people I find boring. I do talk w people, but I wouldn't call them friends.

Maybe it's because I feel I don't deserve it in some way. And I hate it when people try to gaslight others by saying they're pretty or that they just need makeup and skincare to glow. Sure, for some people that might work, but I'd rather see it as it is so I can actually look better. I do invest in self care (mentally and physically), like skincare and haircare and hygiene and whatnot, so it's not like I'm not trying, but I don't think that would boost my attractiveness. I mean I'm naturally skinny and I don't have acne problems, my actual problem is that I have an underbite, meaning I'll need surgery+braces to fix, which is very hard when you don't have the means to pay for it. I don't think I'll be able to afford it anytime soon so I try to work hard so I can afford it later, but it's hard to keep going when I feel like this (thinking maybe I won't be able to make it cuz I'm not attractive enough). I guess I started believing that I'll stay unattractive for now and for a long time too.

When I went through your blog (esp this post) I figured I shouldn't settle for less, but do I deserve better? Idk. It's just hard to work hard and believe that I can do better when I know I can't, and I don't wanna gaslight myself in believing otherwise so I can actually fix it, but the only thing that could fix it is too expensive for me and idk what to do

You are not wrong or crazy for having standards. But you do need to be realistic about the type of man that you are willing to settle for. You're talking about the 1%. This is a good and ideal person to save your energy for. But you're in college. Men your age are simply not able to give you the life you want right now. Think about how you are still trying to get your own life together at the moment. He may come to you now or some years down the road. As long as you make room for him, he will come. But you can't rush something that is still being developed. This is also why age gaps exist. Some women are ready to settle but the type of man they want is certainly not in their 20s. You also have to be realistic about being lonely. That is a part of waiting for someone who is worth it. Yes, being lonely can suck, but there is also beauty in learning how to enjoy your own company and having your own life outside of a partner. Don't gaslight yourself into thinking you don't deserve something simply because it is not happening fast enough. If being an exceptional human being was easy, everyone would do it. But naturally, the road less taken is lonelier. I think what you're doing at the moment is perfect, your are focused on improving on what you can control and that's simply the best thing you can do. I advise you to write in your journal about what your ideal life would look like and come back to it to read it when you feel discouraged so that you envision yourself at your end goal.

#hypergamous lifestyle #heaux advice #heaux tips #heauxheauxheaux #heauxlife #hypergamy #level up #high maintenance #spoiled heaux #spoiled gf

[lover-of-mine]

Hi Anna!!! I have a question for you. I came across a gifset of 6x09, the phone call where Buck tells Hen, Chim, and Eddie about the baby. Eddie sure didn't stick around for that conversation! He's visibly a bit bothered by it, but he doesn't say anything. And I think that's because he's trying not to steer Buck in any direction now like previous events, but I just think he has SOMETHING to say about it! Anyway, do you think he would bring it up at any point and would it create problems for Buddie?

Muah!

Hi, baby <3

Okay, long story short: unless the baby becomes a thing that's actively harming Buck, I don't think Eddie is gonna say anything. It's done, the baby exists, he is not a possibility, he is an actual human out in the world so whatever feelings he may have about whether or not that was a good idea don't matter, because he's not an idea anymore. And even if we end up with buddie and somehow that kid becomes a conversation topic, it's not Eddie's place to say Buck shouldn't have done it, and he knows it, I think that's why he acts the way he acts towards it, he knows it's not his place. I can see Eddie snapping if it becomes something that's creating problems for Buck that he refuses to acknowledge but using it to create problems between them would be just stirring up drama with the least interesting thing they could pull from the deck of buddie drama, because Eddie would never actively try to hurt Buck more by bringing this kid into the conversation.

And regarding the whole thing while the baby is still just a concept, Eddie likes to push against the line of thought Buck is trapped in, sometimes because he's actually about to give some solid advice, sometimes maybe just because he's testing how set on this way Buck is. He only found out about the donation once it was a done deal, Buck had a lot of time to sit and think about it by the time he finds out, considering Eddie finds out right as Buck is about to make the donation, and Buck never goes to him to talk about that, so even though is pretty clear he thinks Buck is making a mistake, Buck never asked for his opinion while it would change anything, so he just ignores whatever concerns he may have.

I think Eddie has a better perspective on what being a parent means to Buck than Hen does because while we like to say the whole team knows, we don't really have that many scenes with Buck and Chris with the whole crew, so Eddie is really the only one watching Buck be a parent on a regular basis, and the question Hen asks, the "can you be a father and walk away" is the real thing that could create problems because one, Eddie is a father who walked away, he went to war and he did come back, but even he admits he ran when he was in the army, and two because he's been watching Buck not walk away for years, so he knows if Buck gets too involved, he's not gonna be able to walk away, and that's the concern I think. Sure, there's the fear that Buck is just believing the whole "they had me for parts" and is giving away even more of himself, and problems that the donation could bring for Buck on a bigger scale, but I think specifically with 6x09, Eddie is listening to Buck refer to himself as a father to a child he will have no involvement raising and he's worried Buck is gonna crash from that too hard if he keeps thinking about it the way he is, but he also thinks Buck doesn't want his opinion, because he never asked, and now the baby is real, so he backs away.

#eddie retreating from fights that he think are lost #thats how it goes #but honestly i think that the baby would have to create SO MANY PROBLEMS before it becomes a buddie problem #because i dont see Eddie going all i told you so on this matter #and since he never said Buck was making a mistake and the only reason for him to say that is if that baby proves himself a problem ™️ #i see him continuing to ignore how he actually feels about it #cuz he wont add that to the pile if things got bad enough for there to be enough tension points between them for that to get between them #i know eddie can be brutal but that would be cruel of him #i dont see a context where he would throw that into a fight #but it all depends on how this donor thing is gonna evolve from here #because they could just say its resolved and never look at it again #or make it bad for buck mental health #who knows #i guess we'll find out #911 meta #maggie 💜 #i really need a tag for asks