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hannie-dul-set · 10 months

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HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS [1].

SYNOPSIS. wherein your friend offers a room for you to crash in while your dorm is being renovated, but fails to mention that your new housemates don’t know how to talk to women (oh, and they also have an ongoing bet about you, too).

PAIRINGS. choi soobin, choi beomgyu, lee heeseung, park jongseong, sim jaeyun, park sunghoon x female! reader. GENRE. housemates! au, rom-com, sitcom, reverse harem time baby. WARNINGS. swearing, a house fire, mentions of sex, like the chapter title says there is too much underwear in this, an awful amount of embarrassing men WORD COUNT. 2.2k.

TAGLIST. @cerealdreamwriter @tyongff-ff @dinonuguaegi

NOTE. i have nothing to say except i hope you enjoy this shitshow as much as i enjoyed writing it. please check the link in the masterlist if you're curious about the layout of the house. feedback much appreciated i love u.

MASTERLIST | NEXT >

CHAPTER 1 — this is too much underwear for a first meeting.

YOU WISH YOU CAN TAKE BACK ALL YOUR COMPLAINTS ABOUT DORM LIFE. Sure, the disgusting, communal bathrooms scrape a year off of your lifespan every time you have to take a piss, and the abhorrently thin walls make you want to rip your ears out every time your neighbors have mind blowing sex, but hey— all of that is better than not having a roof above your head. Even if that roof is two years behind maintenance.

But it’s all too late. You should’ve appreciated having a bed to sleep in before life pried it out from you in the form of a swirling inferno.

When the semester came to a close, your dormmates thought it would be a fantastic idea to throw an end-of-year party. The problem is, that party ended up in flames. Literally. The last person you saw entering the kitchen was Choi Yeonjun until something exploded and before you know it, there’s a stampede, and you’re choking on black fumes, and there’s suddenly a lightshow happening right before your very eyes with the dorm building you’ve been living in for the past year serving as the sparkler.

Holy shit, your dorm is burning down.

It’s a good thing that the fire was stopped before it could reach your room. You don’t know what you’d do if all your notes and textbooks burnt down along with half of the building into debris. Even prior to the fire, a lot of the facilities were janky and needed to be renovated, so you had to pack your bags and find somewhere else to stay for the next two months while the place went through repairs.

“Great,” you huff, filling your two carriers with the bare minimum you have collected in your unit. “This is just fucking great.”

However, just when you’re falling into the brink of homelessness, a friend from your book club graciously offers you a room in his house as a saving grace from your misfortune.

“It’s a small bedroom compared to the rest, but you only have to share a bathroom with one other person! There’s also a laundry room and a living area on the same floor. It’s a big place, so it doesn’t feel stuffy at all even with six, seven people.”

You have no reason to decline Jake’s offer, especially when it’ll be just a temporary arrangement anyway. “Are you sure? You said you have housemates, right? Are they fine with living with another person on such short notice?”

“Yeah, they said it’s cool,” he assures, helping you load your luggage into the taxi. “I’ve been wanting to fill up the last bedroom anyway. The house is just too big even with our current living setup. The more the merrier.”

You’ve always known that Jake Shim was fucking rich. Not because he bragged or flaunted his wealth or anything— but because he’d drop the most privileged, tone-deaf shit at the most inappropriate times and no one can get pissed because he looks oh so innocent while saying them. You had once complained about stuffing yourself with too much meat during a club dinner and that one more bite will have you nauseous. He replied with, “oh yeah, I once ate wagyu steak for a good week in Japan and I got sick of it, too!” and you physically felt your economic status erode at that very moment.

He and you will never be the same. And that fact is made suffocatingly evident right now, as the vehicle slowly pulls into a fancy neighborhood and stops right before the fence of an unreasonably gigantic yard with an unreasonably gigantic house. You do feel a little poor when he shows off the pool and the two garages, but at the same time, beggars can’t be choosers.

Also, it’s a really nice fucking house.

It’s three stories tall, with a covered deck and a substantial amount of outdoor lounging areas. Floor to ceiling windows give you a glimpse of the modern interior of the foyer and spacious living room. You’re a little afraid of getting used to such luxury that you might never want to come back to your old, dingy dorm room— but with every blessing comes a curse.

Jake did mention that you will be living with six other people including him. What he did not mention is that those ‘other people’ would all be men.

Imagine your shock when you’re greeted by a whole ass man in nothing but neon green boxers and shades the moment you slip through the sliding doors of testosterone hell.

Very. You’re very shocked.

“Hey, man,” Jake greets the almost naked individual who is also holding a bowl of cereal in the middle of the afternoon, presumably having just walked out of the kitchen. “What’s with the glasses?” That’s not the biggest issue here. You can see the outline of his fucking penis.

“Oh,” he reacts. “It was just so bright when I got out of the room.”

Jake nods. “That makes sense.” No it does not.

“I think it just got even brighter.”

You can’t tell, but you assume he’s squinting at you underneath his shades. You believe you might also need a pair because there’s definitely a contender in being the brightest thing in the room, so you try your best to not be distracted by the neon of his undies as Jake introduces you to him. “And this is Park Jongseong— or Jay, as he prefers to be called.”

“Call me whatever you like,” Jay smiles at you and reaches out his non-cereal hand for a handshake. He seems chill enough. Maybe he’s just a very laid back person who doesn’t care about general appearances. You can work with that.

“Nice to meet you.” You shake on it. “Aren’t you cold, by the way?”

When he retrieves his hand, he combs his fingers through his hair, ruffling the strands. “My friends often say that I am pretty cool.”

“No, I mean cold,” you clarify. “That does look like a statement, but I’m worried you might get sick.”

You’re starting to get an inkling that you have misjudged Jay. It takes him a few seconds to understand what you were referring to, until a breeze passes by from the open entrance and suddenly, he looks down. “Oh,” he flatly says. “Of fuck.” And the innocent bowls cereal crashes and spills into the ground as Jay disappears into the hallway to your right.

You and Jake stare at the milk minutely seeping into the wooden floor. “I was gonna ask him to help you with your luggage but—” Where Jay disappears, a new person emerges (fully clothed this time, thankfully). “Oh! Hyung, come help.”

He has his neck turned back as he walks up to the both of you. You can hear the sound of footsteps scrambling from where the newcomer is looking at. “What happened to Jay?”

“I don’t know, but let me introduce you to our new housemate!”

“Hi there.” You give him a smile.

Jake tells you his name is Choi Beomgyu, and Choi Beomgyu doesn’t exactly look like he’s keen on accepting your handshake. Instead, all he does is stare you down with his arms crossed, eyes scaling your entire height like he’s doing a motherfucking evaluation. You’re trying your damn best to maintain a pleasant expression. You almost break when he quits his rude staring and turns over to Jake. “So, you need me to help carry her things?” The bastard isn’t even talking directly to you. Your pride can’t take this hit.

“No, it’s alright. I can take care of these myself. Thanks!” Jake flinches when you snatch your second carrier from his hands. “Third floor, right?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Got it.”

Yes, you might have shoved past Beomgyu on purpose, but that’s not the point. You leave the two behind to take care of Jay’s fallen cereal as you struggle to lug your luggage up the staircase. You manage to bring them all the way to the second floor landing before your arms give in and you let the two cases settle on the floor with a huff. When you pause to take a breather, you catch a familiar face walking down the stairs from above. You recognize him from Jake’s instagram stories. You’re sure his name is Lee Heeseung. “Oh! Let me help!” he quickly exclaims after noticing the situation, hurrying down the steps. “You’re the new addition to our residence, right?”

“Yes, I am, and it’s totally fine! You don’t have to—”

Big mistake. You should’ve just let him help, but you’re a little prideful so you reach out for the carrier he took, and when your fingers brush against the back of his hand, the man suddenly drops the fucking case and retracts his entire arm. You stare, wide-eyed, as Heeseung stumbles back to the ground next to your carrier that happened to crack open in the fray and is now spilling out all your clothes like guts and blood. Behind Heeseung, the door creaks open. “Is everything oka— oh my god, is that a b-bra—”

Well. It is, in fact, a bra, and its color seems to match the flushed face of the poor, unsuspecting individual that just opened the door out of concern for his friend. You make eye contact with him once before he retreats into his room with a loud slam! Heeseung is still on the floor and he’s now profusely apologetic.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, this is all my fault, please let me help—” The issue dawns on him belatedly, right when it’s already too late and he has your undergarment in his hands in the midst of trying to undo his mistake. “I don’t think I should help.”

“Good call.” You kneel down, politely prying your blood red bra from Heeseung as you proceed to gather the rest of your clothes back into the carrier.

“I should cut my hands off.”

Oh no. “Hey, it was an accident. It’s fine—” When you try to reach a hand out to give him a completely innocent, completely harmless pat on the shoulder for assurance, he flinches back again. Now your arm is awkwardly hanging mid-air and you’re both looking at each other with shared looks of alarm. The exchange (or lack thereof) reminds you of a forgotten memory— a memory from your childhood. Snacktime all throughout elementary school, to be specific, when all the boys would fucking run away from you and your girl friends for having cooties.

This moment is oddly reminiscent of that and you don’t want to acknowledge it.

“What happened? I heard a crash, is everything alright?”

By the time Jake arrives, you have already managed to clear up the crime scene. With a grunt, you get back up and prepare yourself for another round of heavy lugging. “Can you tell me where my room is? I think you should stay here and make sure your friend is okay.”

“It’s...the first door through the hallway, next to Sunghoon’s. Hyung, are you good?”

You have no idea who the fuck Sunghoon is, but you nod in acknowledgement anyway. “Who’s the person living in that room?”

“Soobin hyung,” Jake answers, helping a dazed Heeseung back to his feet. “Why?”

“You should go check on him, too.”

With that, you leave another mess in your wake as you climb up the flight of stairs to the third floor. You can’t wait to rest. You really want to lie down. But when you walk past the hallway, entering into the floor’s unreasonably cozy living area, you’re met with a fucking fork in the road.

There’s one door right across the hallway, but when you open it, it’s not a bedroom, but a laundry room. So you make a sharp right to the archway opening up to three doors on each of the walls. Jake should have been more specific with what he meant by the first door. You don’t want to take a risk and walk into something you’d fucking regret.

Fortunately, someone emerges from the door on your right and reveals what looks to be a bathroom. You assume he’s Sunghoon, and Sunghoon nearly doubles over when he turns around and meets eyes with you. His expression stiffens, and you’re both just standing there for a good moment and looking at each other without saying anything.

You press your lips into a smile. Holy shit, he’s intimidating. Why the fuck isn’t he saying anyting?

“Hi. I’m—”

“S—shit—”

Suddenly, he’s gone. He’s disappeared into the room in the center after struggling to open the door for a bit. You’re left dumbfounded, but at least now you know where your room is.

You slot the key Jake gave you and twist open the doorknob. The empty room greets you with a body slam of fatigue, and before you know it, you’re sinking face down into the bed and you have no energy left in your fingertips. Admittedly, you have questioned yourself multiple times upon first entering the house whether you made the right decision, whether it’d be better to find an apartment, or maybe you should just crash at your parent’s place for the time being.

But this bed is more comfy than any hotel suite you’ve ever been to, and your bank account isn’t suffering from an enormous dent. Six disastrous men is nothing when you’re able to call a place your home. You can already envision where you’ll be placing your new bookshelf. They’d have to pry your new house key from your cold, dead hands if they want you out of here.

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

#tomorrow x together x reader #enhypen x reader #txt x reader #enha x reader #choi soobin x reader #choi beomgyu x reader #lee heeseung x reader #park jongseong x reader #sim jaeyun x reader #park sunghoon x reader #tomorrow x together scenarios #enhypen scenarios #txt scenarios #enha scenarios #home for the bitchless

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inlovewithpandora · 1 year

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- Father’s Day Special -

Pairing: Ralak x Fem!Sully!Reader

Synopsis: After a long day of working Ralak comes home to you and your children showering him with love (and gifts)

Content: Fluff, mated pair, gift giving, kids being cute, Ralak being the best father ever, reader being a good mate, just a cute little family fic, no use of y/n, suggestive content towards the end (if you squint)

Author’s Note: Decided to make my first Ralak fic FD themed because I know he’s an amazing dad!

- the character Ralak (and children) belongs to @zestys-stuff

- please excuse any mistakes!

Word Count: 1k

Glossary: Sa’nu - Mommy || Sempu - Daddy || Prrsmung - Baby Carrier || ‘itan - son || tanhì - star, bioluminescent freckle

Extra: Requests are open! Please read rules prior to requesting!

Links: Navigation || Masterlist || Taglist

Today was Father's Day and you were so excited to celebrate your mate. Ralak left early at sunrise to begin his clan duties. You tried to convince him to stay home and take the day off but of course, he decided to leave. You loved how hardworking he was and how he always provided for you and the boys.

You've been working all day with your son Rak'äni so he could make the perfect gift for his father, "Sa'nu? Do you think Sempu will like my gift?"

Rak'äni has been working so hard on his gift, he's spent all day crafting it to perfection with your help. Watching him use his little fingers to weave was such an adorable scene that it made your heart melt.

"Of course he will, when he sees this he'll absolutely love it" You give him a reassuring smile as you rub his head softly, slightly tousling his hair.

As Rak'äni continued working on his gift your youngest son Neyäk began to crawl around the floor, making his way to Rak'äni's gift. As you watched him getting closer you swooped him into your arms, "No Neyäk you can't mess up your brother's gift" you coo as you tickle his stomach softly which makes him erupt with giggles and show his gummy smile.

You grabbed the prrsmung that was in the corner of the room and wrapped it around your body and placed Neyäk inside so you could be productive. You went over to the cooking fire and began to prepare dinner. You loved cooking and since you were making Ralak's favorite meal you were even more excited for him to come home.

—

After an hour or so everything was completed, you made a beautiful arrangement of food on your makeshift table and you began to clean up so you wouldn't have to worry about it later tonight.

As you put out the cooking fire you felt a tug on your loincloth, "Sa'nu? Sa'nu? When is Sempu coming home?" Rak'äni asked in a excited tone which indicated that he was ready to show Ralak his gift.

"Soon 'itan, he'll be here any second. Make sure when he gets home you shout Happy Father's Day" You look down at him giving him a soft smile

"I will Sa'nu"

A few moments later right on schedule, Ralak walked through the entryway with his spear in hand.

"Happy Father's Day!" Rak'äni shouted as he ran toward him with a grin plastered on his face.

Ralak's lips curled into a smile as he put down his spear, "Ah thank you 'itan" Ralak picked Rak'äni up and planted a small kiss on his forehead.

Once Ralak placed him back onto the ground Rak'äni grabbed his hand and began pulling him to the center of the marui, "I made you a gift!"

Ralak lets Rak'äni drag him to the center of the marui, watching the excitement in his little eyes as he grabs the gift.

"Close your eyes Sempu" Ralak does as told, closing his eyes in anticipation ready to see the gift his son created for him.

"Okay, you can open them now!" Ralak opens his eyes and sees a woven armband made with shell chips.

" 'itan this is amazing, you crafted this so well" Ralak can tell how much work his son put into creating it which just makes him even happier and excited to wear it throughout the village, showing it off to everyone in sight.

"Sa'nu helped me with it"

"Oh, she did?" Ralak turns and flashes you a smile, his blue eyes piercing yours which makes you a little giddy inside.

Neyäk was beginning to squirm around in the prrsmung so you took him out and placed him on the floor so he could crawl around, "Yeah I did assist him but he basically did everything by himself, he barely even needed my help" you say as you walk over to grab the gift you made for him

"This is from me and Neyäk" You hand him a basket that contained multiple perfectly woven fish nets. The works were intricate. The weaving patterns were a raw display of your skill, a mix of your new and old culture.

"Oh tanhì, these are absolutely amazing" Ralak loved when you create things for him, especially fish nets because he felt like you were great at making them, even better than him.

Each net was made of durable seagrass, natural fibers, and sea hemp. All of these materials were harder to find due to them being closer to the edge of the reef. He knew how difficult it was to retrieve these materials so for you to take the time and collect them so you could make him this wonderful gift meant the world to him.

He could tell that you poured your love into each thread.

"I knew how much you needed new fish nets and you couldn't find the time to make any so I decided to make them for you, I hope you like them."

"Like them? I love them, thank you my love" Ralak walked over to you and planted a kiss on your forehead

"I have another surprise for you tonight" a smirk appears on your lips as you run your hands through his long slick hair.

You had a beautiful night planned for the both of you, you even had the seamstress create a new, more intimate outfit for you.

"Oh, a surprise huh? Well, I can't wait to see it" He replicates your smirk with a small twinkle of desire in his eye, he couldn't wait to have his way with you tonight.

"Happy Father's Day Lak. you're the best father to our children"

"And I couldn't ask for a better mate” he gives you a quick yet soft kiss on the lips, “now let's enjoy that great dinner you made" He scoops Neyäk off the floor and sits down next to Rak'äni, and begins to play with them.

As you watch them laugh and smile you couldn't be happier, you were so thankful that Eywa gave you this perfect little family.

I hope you enjoyed🩵!

Previous Fic

Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are highly appreciated🩵!

A/N: thank you to @teyamsbitch and @number1gal for beta reading this for me🩵!

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Taglist: @liyahsocorro @iwantjaketosullyme @fanboyluvr @kapyzkms @ladespedidas @navegaluv @haileymsstuff @onlyloaksgf @kierys-blog @myh3artttt @julyytsireya @gamerxpfighter @h3l3na-pandora @skyv-n @potatoknishesofficial69 @downbadforloak @yetanotherattemptatanaccount @yeosxxx @bakugouswaif @hc-geralt-23 @myheartfollower @katsuki-httpslol

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lincolndjarin · 6 months

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Best Kept Secret

chapter twenty nine : the best kept secret (epilogue)

ao3 link ✿ series masterlist ☆ main masterlist ✧

pairing : bodyguard!Din Djarin x afab!princess!reader

rating : 18+ mdni

word count : 6.1k words

summary : an epilogue for our lovers.

warnings: tooth rotting sweet fluff, language, mentions of sex, an ending so sweet i made myself sick with emotion like omg.

a/n: crying my dick off rn. my moms bringing dinner home rn to celebrate me finishing this and i can't stop crying

☆

The morning sun is warm against your face, you bask in it, unmoving and only half awake until you feel a tiny hand slapping your cheek. The illusion of tranquility is immediately shattered as you softly laugh.

“Mama?”

Your eyes flutter open and you’re greeted by the sight of a little boy in linen pajamas, one pant leg rolled up over his knee as he stands beside your bed.

“Everyone’s awake.” Your son rubs his eyes as he looks up at you, pointing towards your bedroom door.

“Already? Well thank you for telling me.” You reach your hand out which he happily takes as you pull him to your bed side, placing a soft kiss into his dark curls, attempting to smooth out the disarray they're in to no avail. He giggles, pushing your hand away before pointing past you.

“Buir is wearing the birikad in bed again.”

“You’re very observant, sweet boy. Why don’t you go get your brother, bring him here and I’ll send buir to the nursery.” You give him a sleepy smile before you hear the familiar sound of tiny feet running across wood.

You shake Din’s shoulder, his snores stuttering as he sits up in one hasty motion, his eyes still closed as his fingers run through his mess of hair, identical to Arin’s frenzied curls.

“Bottle? Diaper?” His voice is thick with sleep, you reach over, rubbing his back as you sit up as well, kissing his shoulder.

“Stand down, nothing that serious. A certain someone just ran in here and told me there’s signs of life in the nursery.” You run your hands along the fabric strap on his chest. “And he pointed out that you fell asleep with the baby carrier on, again”

“Grogu said all that?” He turns to face you, eyes barely open as he leans towards you to kiss the tip of your nose.

“Save your jokes for someone who actually thinks you’re funny, Djarin.” You pull him in for a kiss by the fabric harness on his chest. When he tears himself from you at the sound of a small cry you stare at his sleepy grin.

You will never get tired of that smile.

“Sounds like someone wants to hear my jokes.” He groans as he stretches, tossing his lower half off the bed before reaching around for his leg, reattaching it and standing.

“Careful in the hall. Lately your son has been insisting on carrying his brother everywhere so you might run into a brawl out there.”

“I’ll keep an eye out.” He yawns before disappearing in the direction of the nursery. Moments later you hear a small scuffle before Arin appears in the doorway holding a very angry Grogu in his arms.

“Put your big brother down, Arin.”

“Little brother.” Arin attempts to correct you as Grogu lets out a squeal of protest. You shoot him a look as you take the child from him, setting the tiny green boy in your lap as your youngest son climbs into bed to join you.

“Just because he’s smaller, doesn’t mean he’s your little brother. He’s still older than you.” You kiss your eldest on his wrinkly forehead as he relaxes in your lap, raising a little green claw to throw a pillow at Arin from across the room. “Grogu, No magic throwing at your siblings.” You chastise him softly, taking his hand and lowering it, reminding yourself to cut his nails later. “Come here.” You beckon towards Arin who instantly jumps up into bed with you, snuggling up next to Grogu as you give both of them a squeeze which Arin wriggles out of, settling on sitting beside you instead.

“And then I told your mother that I was going to find someone who does like my jokes.” You hear Din in the hall before you see him. When he steps into the bedroom the little girl in his arms is just a bundle of giggles. He sets her down on the floor, after a few shakey steps she makes it to your side of the bed.

“Good morning, little flower.” You lift Grogu off your lap, setting him beside his brother who already seems to have gotten over the pillow incident as he tells him everything he wants to do today. You pick up the toddler now demanding your attention. “Did buir do your hair?” You examine the two braids her wispy curls are in as she nods. You cradle her in one arm before looking at your riduur. “Where’s the rest of my garden?” You raise an eyebrow at Din who promptly turns around, revealing an identical copy of the girl currently in your arms, strapped into the fabric harness. The only difference between the two girls is the frown that one wears.

“She didn’t wanna laugh at my jokes so she had to sit in the back.” He shrugs as she kicks her little legs and you reach your free hand out for her.

“Give her to me you evil man.” He grins, reaching behind himself as he carefully removes her from the harness before holding her up to his face so their noses are touching.

“Do you want to go with your mother or stay with me?” He scowls at her which earns him a sharp yank to the hairs on his upper lip. “Dank farrik!” He pulls her away from his face, holding her out towards your waiting arm. “Just like your mother, always so mean to me.” He puts on a mock tone of hurt, both your daughters are finally smiling at the sound of it. You beam down at your girls.

“Dank farrik!” Arin’s voice fills the room as he shouts, you immediately glare at Din.

“Wonder where he gets that from.” You grumble before focusing on the girls, leaving your husband to deal with your sons. “You’ve got a big day ahead of you little flowers.” Both girls look up at you, you see your own eyes reflected in their identical faces. If it weren’t for their wildly different personalities you’d never be able to tell them apart.

They both give you a curious look before their attentions are drawn to Din who has started shoving your other two children in your direction, clearing a space for himself on the bed.

“You shouldn’t say that, ad, it’s rude.” He puts on a serious tone but neither Grogu nor Arin seems intimidated in the slightest, they only fuss as they’re squished between you and Din when he rolls back into bed on his stomach.

“You say it every day.” Arin stretches out, laying across his fathers back while Grogu seems content to stay snuggled up between everyone. “You said it yesterday when Lily put a frog in your shirt.” Din groans loudly, face down into his pillow. You frown down at your daughters. Lily looks entirely unbothered by the revelation of this information, her expression returning to its comical state of sterness. You raise your eyebrows at her, waiting for a confession but you know she won’t say a thing.

So you look down at Grogu.

“Did that really happen?” Your other three children all turn to stare at him until finally he nods.

“Told you.” Arin grins before crawling onto his fathers back, tugging at his hair gently.

Who could have predicted you’d raise such stubborn children.

“Why would you do that? Where did you find a frog?” You look back down at the girls in your lap. Lily remains a vault so you look to the other. “Daisy? Where did your sister get a frog?” The corners of her lips tilt up.

“Grogu brought it in through the window.” Her voice is soft and high pitched as she fights a smile.

“And why did he do that?”

“He was hungry, but buir made lunch, so he gave itta Lily.”

“And why did she put it in buir’s shirt?” You aren’t cross with them, you just can’t help but want her to keep talking, she’s so well spoken for her age and you can’t help but indulge.

“S’ buir’s fault.” She whispers, pointing at her father.

“Was it now?” You put on a surprised voice, Din’s head turns to the side so he can look at you. “What did you do to deserve such a thing?”

“She’s terrible to me, just like her mother.” He laments, reaching a finger out, ticking her neck. Lily’s stern expression falls in an instant, turning to high pitched laughter.

“Buir made ‘er sit in the back of the birikad.” Daisy continues to tell her tale, looking up at you for approval the entire time.

“Why would he do such a horrible thing to such a lovely girl?”

“She putta worm in his sock.” Grogu nods in silent agreement as Daisy continues on. “So he put ‘er on his back an’ she pulled the back of his shirt down an’ she put the frog in his shirt an’ he said dank farrik.” She takes a deep breath when she finishes and you look at your husband.

“So when you said everything went smoothly while I was out-“

“Aside from the worm and the frog everything went smoothly.” He grins for a moment until a small hand grabs him by the ear, you sigh as Arin grabs his fathers hearing aid, tossing it up into the air, on instinct Grogu reaches up, holding it in place in the air.

“Kriff-“ Din grumbles, tilting himself to the side to roll Arin back onto the bed before getting up to retrieve his hearing aid.

“Kriff!” Lily speaks for the first time all morning, her voice like a little chime.

Din has a guilty smile plastered on his face as he looks at you, scooping both boys into his arms as he lays back down. They squeal and try to wiggle out of his arms but he only has eyes for you as he keeps them caged against him.

“She has a terrible mouth, just like her mother.” He whispers.

You roll your eyes, unable to fight off your smile as you set your girls down on the middle of the sheets, once free of your hold they waste no time before joining their brothers in using Din as a personal playground.

You don’t care that you all have to huddle together to fit on the bed.

You wouldn’t have it any other way.

☆

Socks, socks, socks, diapers, socks. They’re only going for an overnight but you can’t be too careful.

“Where are my little flowers?” You’re packing the overnight bag for as Din comes wandering in, putting on a real performance as he puts his hands on his hips. He stares at the ceiling as Lily squeezes between you and the table, hiding her face in your skirt as Daisy ducks under her crib, her yellow socks sticking out. He comes up behind you, wrapping himself around you as he sets several bottles into the bag you’re working on. “Have you seen my little flowers?” You hum softly as he kisses your cheek.

“I have not.” You turn grinning at him as he gives you an exaggerated sigh.

“That’s a shame, I wanted to see if they wanted to read with me for a little while…”

“M’right here!” Lily reaches out from the other side of you, grabbing his pant leg as he grins, reaching down to pick her up.

“Oh my goodness, would you look at that.” He grins, nudging the crook of his nose against the side of her face and kissing her cheek until she pushes him away.

“Itchy.” She whines, slapping him on the mouth.

“The stubble isn't going anywhere little lady, your mama likes it too much.” He raises his eyebrows at her, receiving a small frown in return. “Any other ladies wanna come read with me?” He speaks loudly, the little legs sticking out from under the crib don’t move so he shrugs, giving you one last look before taking Lily out to the living room.

“The coast is clear.” You go back to folding as your daughter wiggles her way back out, coming to stand beside you until you lift her up onto the changing table so she can watch you work. You hum different little songs to her, sometimes just a few notes, sometimes an entire melody, letting her hum and sing them back to you as you finish up, putting their blankets in last before you start dressing her to go. “Are you excited to have a sleepover at your aunties house?” She beams at you as you pull a thick jacket over her head, bundling her up as you tug a hat down over her ears.

“Yes mama.”

“Good, don’t forget to be extra well behaved.” You lace her little boots, lifting her up and setting her on the ground. “Aunt Elaine and Auntie Lysa are going back home later this month so you won’t see them for a bit.” You pat her head as she nods, her cheeks already going rosy from being a bit warm. “Now send in your sister so she can get changed.” She runs out of the room, calling out her sister's name and like clockwork you dress each of your children for the cold. As usual Grogu doesn’t want to wear his hat and fusses as you trim his nails but other than that it doesn’t take long before you’re ready to go. Wrapping a scarf around Din’s neck on the way out the door.

You don’t mind the walk, although with four kids it takes a little longer than it usually would. Din straps the girls into the carrier, holding Grogu in one arm and the large canvas bag in the other while you hold Arin. The cool autumn air filled with the sounds of babbles and chatter as you walk. Elaine and Lysa rent space on the outskirts of the city so you don’t even have to go deep into the afternoon foot traffic to get them there.

When you ring the doorbell you’re immediately swarmed by the excited pair. Lysa takes Grogu from Din in an instant as Arin squirms out of your arms to hug Elaine’s legs.

You’re happy to have family so close to home.

☆

It’s hard to not feel tired the moment you’re briefly child free.

The second you get home the couch beckons you towards it but you resist, you have plans for tonight. Din on the other hand, doesn’t fight his fatigue in the slightest.

“One whole night without kids.” You turn to grin at him but he immediately collapses into bed, pulling the covers up over his shoulders. You immediately yank it back down.

“No sleeping, we don’t do this often enough to spend what precious time we have sleeping.” He sits up enough to grab you and pull you down on top of him with a soft thud.

“We haven’t slept properly in about four years, let’s just sleep for a few hours, then we can spend the whole night together.” He mumbles, voice already groggy.

“We have to go soon, I want to see the lights.” You complain but turn your head to lay on his chest properly, happily soaking in some of his warmth.

You are tired.

And you do have a couple hours to spare.

“I suppose a couple minutes won’t hurt.” It’s still early in the afternoon and you don’t have plans until sundown, when you turn to see if he’s okay with that he’s already fast asleep. Eyes shut and lips slightly parted as his arms absentmindedly hold you tighter.

You lay back down his chest, inhaling the subtle scent of detergent on his top as you let yourself succumb to the exhaustion you rarely even let yourself acknowledge.

☆

You open the closet, taking the boxes sealed shut with locks and setting them on the bed.

You love your people, and you love being the queen, but sometimes you just want to be Din’s. You want to walk through the marketplace without being swarmed, you want to hold his hand under the moon without people asking who he is.

So every few months, when Lysa and Elaine take the kids for a whole night, you live in secret once more, just for a few hours.

You search through your dresser drawer until you find the key, twisting it in the lock before tossing it aside. You reach in, holding up the contents just as Din’s arms wrap around your waist. You jump a little bit, you hadn’t heard him come in.

“Do you miss it?” he murmurs.

“Sometimes. For the longest time this was all I knew you as.” You stare into the silver steel, looking at the two of you reflected against the beskar. “I prefer you without it though.” You set his helmet down onto the sheets before turning around in his arms, holding his face as you held the helm. “Do you miss it?”

“Sometimes. Never when I’m with you.” His lips rest against your forehead for a moment, content to just stay in that position for a while.

“We need to retire the nursery soon, the girls are getting too big for cribs.” you mumble.

“What if we want one more?”

“Last time we wanted one more we got two.”

“One more wouldn’t hurt.”

“They already outnumber us four to two.” You smooth out the fabric of his tunic with your free hand.

“Mhmm, I know. I’m just not ready to get rid of the cribs. When did they get so big?”

“Grogu’s still little.”

“He’s a little bigger now I swear.” You laugh softly kissing his cheek.

“That’s what kids do. They get bigger.” You release your hold on his shirt.“No more sad talk. We get one night alone every six months, I don’t want to spend it all melancholy.”

“Fine, fine.” He takes the helmet from you. “Finish getting dressed if you wanna get there before sundown.” You grab his flight suit from the box, tossing it to him just before he shuts the fresher door. Searching through the box you find your cloak, Leaving behind the weapon you’ve come to learn is called the darksaber as you get ready.

Lacing your boots and pulling the cloak over your head you give yourself a quick once over in the mirror.

Unrecognizable.

As you turn to face the now opening fresher door you’re hit with a wave of nostalgia. The dark brown fabric of his flight suit now accompanied by scraps of armor that you’ve purchased over the years. The only actual beskar items being his leg and helmet, a helmet that you let your sons decorate to keep him from being recognized, neither one of you willing to take the risk of someone connecting the dots regarding his identity.

Messy streaks of green paint run along the outline of his visor as he holds a hand out towards you. You eagerly take it, the two of you rushing outside to the bike, covered with a tarp.

You happily wrap your arms around his waist as he kicks the engine to life, wasting no time before shooting off into the trees.

You don’t mind living in secret as much as you used to, after all, it’s only temporary now. One night, every so often, isn't so bad. Especially now that it isn’t out of fear or necessity, now you do it simply for the sake of being unobserved. You aren’t exactly discreet about the fact that you are together. Although no one ever asks, it's more than apparent who the father of your girls is, and while nobody would dare question you about his parentage, Arin looks more and more like Din every day.

But sometimes you just want to walk with him without everyone thinking about those things.

So you wear different faces, and use different names, and go back to keeping secrets, just for a few hours.

Din brings the bike to a screeching halt in the ship lot, handing over a fistful of credits and taking your hand once more.

“Ready to go, Dorthea?” You can hear his big dopey grin as he drags you towards the bustling sounds of the vendors.

“Of course, Oskar.” You follow behind him as he continues to pull you onward, wanting to get there in time to see the lights.

It’s your favorite part of nights like these.

Every colorful light turns on one by one and somehow also all at once, the flickering and shimmering of the colors as you stare up at them, Din’s hand in yours. It takes a few minutes but when it’s done it’s like the night sky is entirely lit up, your own personal set of stars.

“Happy now?” He pulls you deeper into the markets while you nod, giving your hand a squeeze as you pull him towards the familiar stands, picking up a few different sweets and knickknacks as you always do.

You point and giggle at anything particularly dirty. Somehow, despite all this time and his anonymity in this situation he still manages to get flustered when you dangle leather instruments in front of his face.

His favorite part of nights like these is the music.

You wouldn’t have suspected it based on how stiffly he dances but he loves nothing more than rocking back and forth with you on the cobblestone street.

Tonight a string band plays upbeat music and the square is full of people moving in circles around each other as everyone moves to the beat. When you pull your eyes from the frenzy of swirling vibrant fabrics he stands with his hand out, as if he even has to ask for such a thing.

You wrap your arms around his torso as he spins you around, pulling you into the crowd, people parting to squeeze you into the space. You can’t speak, the music is too loud and you can’t see each other's faces but you still manage to remain in sync. He doesn’t wear gloves anymore, wanting to feel his hands against yours. You stay close, moving in sync, grins on your face as you press your veiled face against his helmet, wanting to be as close to him as possible. The lights shimmer against his armor, the beskar reflecting the lights as you move, colors melding together as his hands go from your hands, to your waist, then to your back, your bodies flush as you dance until you can barely stay upright.

You both stumble back into the cabin, giggling, giddy messes.

Tripping over each other as you get into bed, stripping layers off of each other in the process.

And he loves you like it’s the first time.

That’s how he always loves you now, never that panicked, fearful love where tries to take in every single drop of you for fear of never tasting it again. No, now he loves you like he can’t believe it. Every single time you unbutton your trousers or step out of your skirt he gawks like he’s never seen a pair of legs before. He’ll drop to his knees at the sight of your chest, no matter how many times he sees it. His devotion seemingly knows no bounds and as time carries on that fire refuses to die.

The only difference is that he isn’t afraid to love anymore.

And neither are you.

☆

The kids love the garden.

Maybe even more than you do. They’re careful, even when they’re chasing each other around in circles, to never step on the flowers. None of them are running now though, Grogu, Arin, and Daisy are all with you in the gazebo. It never ceases to amaze him just how easily you can calm them down. Grogu sleeps in the crook of your arm while Arin sits by your feet. Din watches as the little one pricks his finger on the needle he’s currently weaving in and out of the hem of your skirt. He doesn’t fuss though, he’s tough, just like his mother. He flinched before furrowing his brows and continuing his work. Daisy lays on her stomach on the other side of you, crayons are scattered across the gazebo floor as she colors in her notebook.

And you, in the center of it all, radiant, perfect, you.

Reading one of your romance novels.

Summer’s nearly gone now, the little ones are all bundled up in sweaters and scarves and you’re draped in a thick green shawl that you pull tighter around you as a crisp breeze blows by.

He’d stand and stare at you as long as you’d let him if a tiny hand didn’t reach up and pinch his jaw.

“Buir.” Lily snaps him back to reality.

“Yes, ad?” He looks down at her, seeing your eyes represented in the little girl in his arms.

“You’re starin’ at mama.”

“That’s awfully perceptive of you.” He hums as she looks around, a look of concentration on her face as she stares at the ground where she continues to speak to him.

“You say starin’ is rude.”

“I’m allowed to stare at mama.” He has to stifle a laugh as she scolds him.

“Why’s that?”

“Because we love each other.”

“If you say so.” She’s already lost in the conversation as she turns around in his arms, pointing at the yellow petals on their left. “Sunflowers.”

“That’s right, beauty.” He continues to carry her tucked in one arm down the path. “What about those?” He nods in the direction of a bushel of pink flowers.

“Tulips.” She’s always been so serious about the flora, just like you.

“Correct, brains.” He kisses the top of her head, brushing a stray curl out of her face as she points up ahead.

“Daisies.” She announces proudly, turning to him for approval.

“When did you get so smart?” He gives her a shocked look that makes her crack a smile.

“Mama taught me.” She states matter of factly as she crosses her arms.

“Well then, your mother is very smart.”

“Smarter than you.” He gasps as she giggles.

“That can’t possibly be true.”

He carries her over towards the daisies, pointing at the vibrant blue petals of the flowers beside them.

“I’m just as smart as your mother, look, these are roses.” He pokes her in the belly as she shrieks.

“No, buir!”

“Are you sure? Oh wait, you’re right, those are peonies.” He grins at her as she shakes her head wildly.

“Buir! They’re lilies!” Her cheeks go rosy as she giggles, he gives her a confused look, squinting at the flowers one more time.

“Are you sure? I’m almost positive those are daffodils…” He leans forward, kissing her chubby face as she continues to giggle.

“Is he being mean to you?” Your voice fills the air as he turns, you’re holding your skirt up as you walk towards them, holding your arms out for Lily.

“Me?” He says theatrically as he hands the squirming toddler to you as she reaches for her mother. “If anything she was being mean to me.” You always tell him that he was born to be a father, but you, when he looks at you he almost can’t believe just how good you are at it. Lily wraps her arms around your neck, she kisses your cheek as a tiny hand ever so carefully holds onto your necklace. With a small yawn, Lily buries her face in your neck as you smile, your eyes turning from your daughter to him.

“You know she said you’re smarter than me?” He whispers, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Kids say the darndest things, don’t they?” You smile and it’s like his heart wants to burst from his chest.

“I’ll never get used to looking at you.”

You always say that as if he doesn’t know what that feels like. Everytime you so much as enter a room he feels the same as he did the first time he saw you.

“Where’s the rest of your ducklings?”

“I took them back to the cabin, Daisy was sleepy so I assumed this one might be too.” You rub Lily’s back, the little one is seemingly already asleep in your arms.

“Want me to take her back to the house?” He offers but you shake your head.

“I have to go get your present anyway.” You grin.

“I’ll be here.” He gives you a quick kiss before you turn in the direction of the house.

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little nervous. You’re annoyingly good at gift giving. Despite the fact that you have already given him the greatest gift he could possibly ask for in the form of three little ones and loving his own like you carried him yourself. You still manage to one up him every time.

While your competitive nature towards each other has lessened quite a bit from it’s initial amount it’s still a notable part of your marriage, anniversary gifts being the biggest competition of all.

The gazebo is empty when he returns to it, carefully stepping up onto the bench to reach into the rafters where he’s hidden your gift. He grabs the wooden box, stepping down just in time to watch you step inside with him.

“Can I go first?” Your fingers twitch as you nervously mess with your skirt. You look exactly the same as you did when you left which has him a little confused but still smiling.

“Sure.” He sets the box down behind him, hopefully out of sight as he turns back to you.

“Don’t be mad.” You have a sheepish smile on your face that already has him worried.

“What could I possibly be mad about?”

“You know how we always say that we aren’t going to use the seemingly infinite funds we have at our disposal?” You rock back and forth on your heels anxiously.

“Yes…”

“Because we don’t want them to be spoiled.”

“I’m not following-” He really isn’t.

“Well I may have gone the tiniest bit overboard, and we never said we couldn’t spoil each other.” You bite your thumb nail as you stare at him. “If you don’t like it we don’t have to use it.”

“I’m starting to get nervous, sarad.”

You reach into the pocket of your skirt, holding out a familiar little sphere.

“Grogu thought you might want this back.” You place the gear shift knob into his palm. “Happy Anniversary, Din.” He stares at you, bewildered as he rolls it between his thumb and forefinger. “Obviously it isn’t your ship exactly but it’s pretty damn close.” You muse softly and he nearly drops it.

“Wait- you, you got me a ship?”

“It’s in the lot by the markets we can go later-” He cuts you off, immediately wrapping his arms around you, squeezing you as he lifts you a few inches off the ground.

“You found another Razor Crest?” He’s breathless as he feels a rush of gratitude that only you can give him swelling in his chest.

“I built another Razor Crest.” You smirk, clearly pleased with yourself. “Grogu helped, of course, to make it authentic, and this one has less weapons and more child safety measures but other than that it should fly the same.”

“You brilliant woman.” He can’t help but stare at you in disbelief, how he has been blessed by you will always be a mystery to him.

“Now we can travel whenever you want, you always say you want to show them the galaxy.”

“I- I don’t know what to say.”

“Good, you talk too much.” You kiss him, he’s genuinely speechless, what do you do when the woman who has given you everything gives you more?

“Your turn.” He whispers, feeling even more nervous about his own gift now that you’ve given him what is quite literally the perfect gift.

He hands you the simple wooden box with a little latch to keep it shut.

“The failsafe?” You look up at him as he nods, popping clasp up as he opens it, holding it out towards you.

“How did you- when did you?” Your eyes are growing wet as you stare into the box before looking up at him.

“Took a little while to put it all together.” He murmurs, pushing the container into your hands until you finally take it.

“You kept all of this? All this time?”

“Do you like it?”

“Like it? I- It’s everything, Din, quite literally everything.” Tears flow freely now as you sniffle. You sit on one of the benches within the gazebo, carefully going through each and every item, looking more shocked than he was when you gave him your gift.

He’s glad you like it, after all, it took him a few years to put it together.

You sift through everything, wiping your eyes every so often as you do.

A plastic blue lily, wrapped in black lace. A silver anklet with gaudy sapphire jewels dangling from the clasp. Several sheets of parchment with ink illustrations on them. A handful of pressed and dried leaves. A couple of pink and gold buttons. And a candy wrapper.

The centerpiece of the gift being a rectangle wrapped in thin brown paper, tied with a green bow.

You hold it carefully, he watches as your fingers trace the ribbon.

“That’s your real gift, the rest is just some stuff I saved.”

“It’s a wonderful gift, Din.” You wipe a few stray tears on your shawl. “It’s all perfect.” You carefully peel back the paper until all that’s left in your hands is the tattered and worn book.

The Smitten Paladin.

He watches with a smile as you flip through it, realizing it isn’t any old copy of the book. It’s your copy. With his favorite color, and your rules written out within.

“Oh, Din.” He watches as your face scrunches up with emotion, the way it does when the kids hit different milestones, or when the two of you finally got married.

“How about we call this one a tie?” He can’t help but feel a sense of pride, finally finding you something on the same level as your gift. Of course it wasn’t an easy task to top a ship like that but a part of him can’t help but think that he couldn’t have found you a better gift than this.

“Actually…” You smile despite the puffy redness around your eyes and he groans.

“No actually, let me have this.” He pulls you to him, kissing the bridge of your nose first and then your lips, letting him indulge in you for only a moment before pulling back.

“Are you sure? It’s a pretty good gift, good enough to tip the scales.”

“Fine.” He sighs, an exaggerated look of defeat crossing his face.

“Close your eyes.” He doesn’t argue with you, shutting his eyes as you manipulate his arms so he’s holding his hands out, feeling something extremely light being set in his palms. “Now open.”

Socks.

Socks that are too small to currently fit any of his children.

His heart races as he holds the little brown booties in his hands.

“Are you serious?” He can feel his face getting hot, and his mouth going dry as he whispers, kneeling down in front of where you sit.

“We can manage one more member of Clan Mudhorn. This does mean we’ll have to keep the nursery for a few more years, and expand the cabin-”

“I’ll build you a dozen cabins if that’s what you want.” His brain moves at a million miles an hour as he stares in awe at the gift that is you. “Dank farrik.” He can’t help it as he whispers to himself, hands on your stomach.

“I win.” You tilt your head to the side, grinning at him as you take his face in your hands.

“You win. Every single day you win because you gave me them and you gave me this.” He lets you pull him up to meet you halfway, kissing him once more. His hands on your hips. “I love you, so kriffing much.”

“I love you.” You wrap your hands around his. How did he get this lucky? How is he deserving of this life you have given him?

He holds your hand when you walk back to the cabin, finding the children in the main room, making themselves a pillow fort as you rush to help them he watches from the sidelines.

He spent a lot of time watching you.

Watching you wander, and read throughout the castle.

It’s hard for him to believe that now he gets to watch you be a riduur and mother.

Because of you he gets to have a home.

Because of you he has a bed, and a house. Because of you he found his way back to Grogu, and now he has three more little ones and another on the way.

Because of you he can just be a man, a riduur, and a father.

With you he can just be Din.

☆

a/n : i'm like sick to my stomach with crying so that's cool lmao. i thought i would have more to say but this is it and i'm proud of it and i'm happy to have shared it. i can't believe i was lucky enough to have so many people to share this story with. from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

#lincolndjarin #the mandalorian #best kept secret #bks #din djarin #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian x you #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin fanfiction #mandalorian smut #din djarin smut #pedro pascal #din djarin/reader #din djarin/you

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daydreaming-in-hyrule · 3 months

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★ 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃’𝐕𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐌𝐘 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐒, 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌

pairing: post-botw/pre-totk link x gn!reader

wc: 575

contains: domestic fluff!!! reader washing link’s hair, me waffling on various hidden scars link might have

a/n: first time sharing my writing for link! please be kind <3

“Shh, stop fussing. I’m only washing your hair.”

You tut with dramatised disapproval, leaning forward to press a kiss to the tangled mass of golden hair in front of you. You’re met with more squirms and a hand reaching up to mess with the shampoo you had tried in vain to rub into the wet strands.

“Link, I swear to Hylia, if you don’t stop moving—”

“It tickles,” complains the royal knight, the Light of Hyrule, carrier of the Master Sword sitting in front of you, a small, tickle-induced giggle escaping his lips as you smooth the shampoo in again. You chuckle softly at the absurdity of it all. “You’ve parried Guardians with a pot lid for a shield, defeated four Blights, freed the Divine Beasts, fought Calamity Ganon — and you can’t take a little tickling?”

Soft grumbles of protest reach your ears, and you observe the pointed tips of Link’s ears grow just a tiny bit pinker than they were before. Maybe a distraction would work?

“Where did you get this scar?” You ask, gently touching your pinkie to a small, puckered indentation in the skin right where the back of his ear met his head. With your other hand, you finally rub the shampoo into his roots properly.

Link shuffles sheepishly. “Uh… I was attacked by Cucco.”

You frown in confusion. “Cuccos?”

“Hey, those things are monsters when they’re in a group,” He says defensively, trying to tip his head back to look at you. You quickly cup the back of his head, gently stilling his movements so that the shampoo doesn’t get everywhere.

Link lets out an unhappy grunt as you prevent him from moving his head and, unfortunately, from seeing you. “How much longer?”

“You’re almost done. Pinky promise. Let me take off the shampoo and put the conditioner, okay?” You dip down to kiss the Cucco scar, making his shoulders drop slightly as he relaxes.

You wash off the shampoo as gently as you can, finding another scar next to his left temple, right next to his hairline. This scar is round and a dusty, washed-out shade of maroon. More an old bruise than a scar, really. “Where’d you get this, love?”

Link is quiet for a moment, trying to remember. “I think it was a Lizalfos?”

“A what?”

“You know, those weird reptile things with the boomerangs—”

“Great Hylia.” You pause your systematic weaving of the conditioner into the thin strands and stare in concern at the back of his head. “Link, how you’re still alive after throwing yourself at practically every monster in Hyrule is beyond me.”

“In my defence, I had the Master Sword,” He gives a tiny shrug and you lean forward to kiss the scar too, making him tilt his head to one side in surprise.

“Are you just going to kiss every scar I have now?” He asks with a soft chuckle. You smile sweetly, just about starting to wash off the conditioner.

“Maybe I will, who knows?”

“Well, then,” He leans his head back before you can stop him and grins up at you, blue eyes sparkling with affection. The way he’s looking at you — like you’re the most beautiful jewel he’s ever seen — almost takes your breath away; you don’t even mind that he’s put leftover conditioner from his hair all over your lap.

“I think I have a few scars on my lips too.”

#attacked a cucco and regretted it instantly #legend of zelda #loz botw #botw link #legend of zelda x reader #loz x reader #loz link x reader #botw x reader #botw link x reader #botw fanfic #tloz botw #tloz link #queued post

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0vereasy · 5 months

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Life’s Creation and Love’s Manifestation Chapter 2 - Dr Ratio x Female reader

Summary: Your promotion as one of the heads of the Security Department at Herta’s Space Station was full of many headaches, one of the biggest being a visiting scholar from the Intelligentsia Guild and a delegate of the IPC, Dr. Ratio.

When you were forced to team up with him to solve several crises emerging at the Station, how will your tense relationship change? And what exactly is the Doctor hiding?

A/N: Thanks so much for the support on Chapter 1! Hope Chapter two is just as enjoyable! Note that this contains spoilers for the first half of the Trailblaze question in 1.6, including spoilers about the new boss. The Trailblazer is kept gender neutral so feel free to picture whoever.

AO3 link

Taglist: @96jnie

Comment or send me an ask to be added to the taglist!

Previous Chapter | Masterlist

Chapter 2: Tough Survival

Word count: 7.0k+

“Why exactly do you need to go in the Seclusion Zone again?” you asked, eyebrow raised at the Trailblazer standing beside you in the Storage Zone, you tapping your foot impatiently as you both waited for the elevator to arrive. It was taking longer than usual, the display panel showing the elevator’s current location showed that the metal tube was forced to make the long trip from the bottom of the station back to your location. Your arms were tired of lugging shit around this god-awful Space Station, your full water bottle and heavy-duty laptop making your arms ache as shifting them slightly in your arms from where you stood.

Unfortunately, your comfort was also not aided by the person standing in beside you. In all honesty, the Trailblazer had been giving off weird vibes since their arrival at the Station late last night; even now they wouldn’t meet your eye despite standing beside you, shuffling slightly in their spot. You weren’t the first, and definitely wouldn’t be the last to admit that they weren’t exactly the brightest bulb, but hey, neither would you, and you could tell there was something more to their evasive answers.

“Completely legal business that is completely ethical and not dangerous at all!” they exclaimed, forcing a laugh as they scratched the back of their neck awkwardly. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes as you followed them into the elevator. You turned to watch the doors close, ensuring you were both firmly in the metal carrier before you set your laptop and water bottle down, bending at the waist to do so. You straightened once more, cracking your knuckles. To their credit, the Trailblazer quickly picked up on your action, backing themselves as far away from you as the small metal tube would allow them, “What are you-”

You turned from the elevator door to face them, arms moving up and grabbing them by the collar of their white shirt, pushing them against the back wall of the elevator. Their amber eyes widened in shock at your actions, hands lifting in a vain attempt to pull your own digits from their shirt collar. Your grip only tightened at that, pushing them more firmly into the wall in a way you expected would leave a few bruises.

“Look, I’m trusting you today; you’re the Station’s saviour after all, and you have Madam Ruan Mei’s access card,” your gaze dipped from their golden eyes to the card hanging around their neck, the picture of Ruan Mei gazing back at you as if the Genius was in the elevator right now, mocking you. You moved your face closer to their own, using your hand to tilt their chin down slightly to make sure they looked you in the eye, “But if I find out that you do anything to threaten the safety of the Station while were down there, I won’t hesitate to deal with you myself.” You whispered those last words in their ear after shifting your head to the side slightly. You moved your head back to speak again, “Capeesh?”

“U-Understood, Miss Y/N,” came their studdered response, their face visibly flushed and mouth slightly agape as they stared up at you. You sighed, releasing their shirt, though your body lingered close to their own for a second, keeping them on guard despite your hands lowering to your sides. You bent down once more to pick up your items, though this time you kept your gaze focused on the Trailblazer as you did so before inevitably having to turn your back away from them to face the buttons on the elevator panel.

God, you were getting real tired of pinning people against walls. What was this, twice in one week? Must be a new record, if not it was at least a personal best score.

“Great!” you exclaimed, turning to flash a smile over your shoulder at them. Despite the friendly nature of the action, their body flinched backwards, “Come on, don’t be like that, you know I can’t play bad cop for long,” you shrugged, turning your head back to the button panel,”let’s go then,” you shifted your laptop under your arm so you could grab your key card hanging around your neck, pushing it against the access scanner on the wall of the elevator. A green light flashed on the scanner, approving the descent, while a second green light from a panel above it turned on, the light moving across your face as a robotic voice confirmed your identity. After the light turned off, you pressed the lowest button on the elevator panel, turning to look at your companion again once the elevator started descending, “That’s why the elevator wasn’t moving earlier.”

“H-Huh?” the Trailblazer was still clearly flustered from earlier, as they looked at you blankly as if not truly processing your words, a familiar look for them really. Even from your spot a few feet away from them, you couldn’t mistake the flush on their cheeks or the way they fidgeted slightly with their hands. You allowed yourself to roll your eyes this time, taking a swig from the water bottle in your hand, the ‘water’ burning your throat nicely as it went down.

“Theirs a dual processing system!” you announced proudly after swallowing, turning to look at the panel. You pointed first to the key card scanner, “This device scans a key card,” your finger then moved to the panel above it, “and then this one scans the person’s face to make sure their identity matches the card they scanned!” you turned to look at the Trailblazer again as you leaned against the wall of the elevator with a smirk, crossing your arms confidently, “That’s why it wasn’t working earlier when you tried to use Ruan Mei’s card without me! I designed it after the Legion attack to try and increase Security; I know, I know, I’m a genius.”

“You sure change moods fast, Miss Y/N,” the Trailblazer sighed, though their body language was already slightly more open from before, their amber eyes clearly meeting yours and their feet planted firmly on the ground. You forced down a smile at the change.

“Come on Trailblazer, you know me, I’m not meant to play the serious security roll for long. Like I said, I can only play bad cop for so long before I clinically go insane,” you huffed dramatically, standing up straight so you stop leaning on the metal wall, “Besides, it’s my day off, I threatened you for safety purposes only, obviously.”

The Trailblazer opened their mouth to respond, but their attention was instead caught by the slowing of the elevator as it reached it’s destination. As the doors of the elevator opened, they looked between you and the dark space beyond skeptically, breathing slightly heavily as you took your first few steps into the Zone.

“Why is it… so dark?” The Trailblazer asked you, as you both stepped into the empty corridor. The, elevator ascending back up behind the two of you, leaving the only source of light as the stars and planets beyond the Space Station windows. Compared to the rest of the station at this hour, everything was quiet, as one would expect for a Zone locked away from the public. Your eyes scanned the place as you both walked, lingering at the work station in the distance voluntarily, before you forced your gaze to look at your companion again.

“Energy saving mechanism,” you explained casually, steps large and confident compared to the small skeptical ones of your companion, “you should see Herta’s energy bill, yeesh, I know the IPC have a payday everytime Topaz comes to collect our debts,” you explained, “No one really uses this place, so the lights are motion activated to save us some credits, they’ll come on soon.”

You both paused at the sight of a little robot in front of you, the glowing red light from its body serving as the only other source of light down in the dark Zone. Much like the little helper bots around the Space Station, the white robot seemed innocent enough. Well, that was until it decided to turn suddenly to look at both you and the Trailblazer, the red lights on its face flashing angrily for a moment beyond the cracked glass of its scanning screen, causing the Trailblazer to take a nervous step back.

While the Trailblazer flinched beside you, you merely huffed in annoyance, waving at the robot calmly, “Don’t be like that stupid, it’s just me!” the red lights of the robot dimmed at your voice, while the lighting for the floor seemed to come on given your waving, bathing the main floor of the security zone in red lights lit up from the panels serving as arm rails around the platform. The robot quickly flew off to its proper position as you turned to face your companion, “Sorry ‘bout that, the robots down here are designed for security so they can be a little extra when someone new comes around.”

“Right…” the Trailblazer murmured, still clearly taken aback by all the events they had witnessed in the past five or so minutes. You almost felt bad about pushing them against the door now… well, almost. They did give some interesting reactions after all.

“Anyway, from here Ruan Mei’s card will allow you access to whatever you want,” you explained, pointing towards an elevator opposite to the one you emerged from, the elevator in the same direct the robot had scurried back to, “That elevator there will take you down to the research and curio storage area. I’ll stay here til you’re done whatever the hell Ruan Mei put you up to.”

“Thanks again Miss Y/N… sorry for bothering you on your day off!” the Trailblazer scurried away before you could reply, clearly anxious for a chance to get away from you, not that you could blame them exactly. You let them go, watching their anxious form get onto another much more welcoming elevator than the one you currently stood in front of.

It was only when they began their descent, metal doors closing behind them, that you spoke, “I didn’t expect to see you here, Doctor,” you commented, turning your gaze from the elevator back towards one of the two work stations on the ground level of the Seclusion Zone where Doctor Ratio stood, “Have nothing better to do than hang out in dark rooms all day? I wonder what the IPC would think if they heard their delegate had nothing better to do than waste their time.” You hummed playfully, moving towards the workstation he was at.

The doctor merely scoffed, the sound slightly muffled by that stupid alabaster head that he had on again today, “Those are the words you decide to greet me with today, really?” he sighed, as if disappointed, “I expected much more from you after our previous encounter.”

“Much more?” you echoed, shooting him a puzzled glance as you plopped yourself down at one of the chairs at the workstation, sighing at the relief of finally being able to put your items down for a longer period of time. You shook your hands out in front of you, as if trying to shake off the built up tension within them accrued from your long period of lugging things around, “What, were you expecting me to push you against a wall again until you lost all your inhibitions? Sorry to disappoint you, Doctor, but I think I’ve reach my kabedon quota for the month.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” the Doctor rebutted with hostility as he sat down in the chair a few feet away from your own, “I obviously expected an apology after our previous encounter. In fact, I’ve expected an apology for the last five days since our previous meeting. And yet you avoid me! Does this Space Station have no shame? No desire to maintain diplomatic relations between important parties?”

“What, you want me to apologize for doing my job? It’s my day off, I’m not apologizing for shit,” you said bluntly, moving your gaze away from him to flip open your laptop, one hand shielding the other as you typed in your password. You didn’t exactly know how he managed to see through the stupid alabaster head, but you weren’t about to put your laptop’s safety at risk.

“You and I both know, Miss Y/N, that embarrassing and threatening a guest and pushing them against the wall is nowhere within your employment description!” he exclaimed dramatically, crossing his arms across his chest like an angry child.

“It is when the guest is acting like a little shit,” you shrugged, watching your computer screen as the device turned on. You could hear the sound of him opening his insufferable mouth to speak again, forcing you to speak sooner, “Besides, I’m sure you’re happy to know that I received internal punishment from Arlan already. I don’t owe you anything.”

“It is satisfying to know that actions do have consequences in this Station,” he removed the alabaster head, revealing a sly smile below it. God you wished you had the freedom to punch his pretty face, especially right now, as you watched his amber eyes scan your appearance, “I must say, your apparel makes much more sense with the understanding that you are off the clock.”

You looked at your own outfit; a simple white cropped top and a high-waisted pair of black shorts that rode up as you sat down, the fabric only barely covering what it was supposed to, “What, you find offence in my outfit, Doctor? This ship is hot all the time, sue me!” You rolled your eyes, forcing yourself to look away from him to your computer, deft fingers quickly moving to reopen the programs you were using before the Trailblazer interrupted you.

“Not a fan of the heat? How interesting,” he retorted from beside you. From the corner of your eye, you could see him picking at his fingernails in mock boredom, “For someone has hot-headed as you, I would expect heat to be second nature.”

“Ha, ha,” you muttered, completely stone-faced, refusing to look at him for a few seconds before a smirk made its way onto your features. You turned in your swivel chair to face him head-on, “I didn’t know my temperature preferences would be so fascinating to you, Doctor. If you’re so interested in my experience with warmth, I could give you an indepth explanation of the last time I was hot and heavy, if you catch my drift.”

“You-” he coughed, cutting his own outburst short, “I can assure you I have no desire to understand you or your… bedroom habits at all.” You snickered at the half-assed retort. Aeones, it was so easy to get under this guy’s skin; you hadn’t had fun in a verbal battle like this in a while. It almost made you sad that this guy would leave the station sooner or later, well until you realized that his departure meant an end to dealing with his arrogant attitude.

“Great, in that case you can happily leave me alone then,” you flashed a mockingly cheerful smile at him before dropping your expression to a neutral stare, “It may be my day off, but I have shit to do… so, shoo.” You flicked your wrist mockingly at him, as if he Peppy begging for attention that you had no time to give. His eyes narrowed at the hand motion.

Of course, he didn’t shoo as you requested, only scootching his desk chair closer to you instead. To his credit, he let a few moments pass, watching you as you reopened all your closed tabs on your computer before he spoke again, as if in mock courtesy, “How did you know I was here?”

“Come on Mr. Ratio, I’m sure someone as smart as you allegedly are knows how eyeballs work,” you commented, focused on your computer instead of him as you scanned the information on the screen, “I know you wear an alabaster head, but the rest of us do have free range of our vision ya know?”

He ignored the quip, speaking once more, “Please do not play dumb with me, Ms. Y/N. You knew I was here the second the elevator arrived at this platform, if not before that. I saw you look this way upon your arrival” You turned your eyes from the screen to him again, stifling a sigh at the unfinished work that kept being put off. At this point, you started to doubt why you even lugged your laptop down here

“Only five people have access to this Zone,” you started, the Doctor blinking twice, as if startled that you were actually answering his question, “Screwllum, Herta, Ruan Mei use this area for their work, and, Arlan and me make occasional trips for security purpose. The geniuses are all in some meeting in some Aeon forsaken corner of the Simulated Universe, and Arlan is working upstairs, soooo.”

“I don’t quite see the chain of your logic,” the Doctor crossed his legs, resting his elbow on his uppermost knee to glance at you again as if you were entertainment. This time, it felt more as if you were an animal at the zoo that he was excited to observe.

“Whose playing dumb now, Mr. Ratio, you clearly know what I’m implying, “ you stared provocatively into his amber orbs, crossing one leg on top of the other. You watched his gaze flicker downwards at the moment, eyes scanning your nearly bare legs, before he forced his gaze upwards again, “The elevator came from this floor when the Trailblazer ‘n I were heading down here, meaning someone or something had to be here. That’s how I knew something was here,” you broke the eye contact, focusing again on the computer, an attempt you were sure was only in vain, “As for how I knew it was you, you didn’t exactly conceal yourself; you know that wearing that head doesn’t make you invisible to the rest of the world right?. If anything, I’m betting you sent the robot off to distract the Trailblazer, just so they wouldn’t notice you standing a few feet away.”

The Doctor chuckled, mockingly clapping his hands, “Bravo, bravo. I must say, you’re logic in impressive for someone of your calibre. If only you had the capacity to understand other areas of knowledge.” He sighed pittily, scooting his chair one more step towards yours.

“How did you get down here?” you ignored his quip, once again meeting his gaze, your features contorted into a frown. The Doctor clearly noticed the shift in your tone, shifting slightly in his chair. Part of you wanted to tease him for the effect your first encounter must’ve had on him, but the other more serious part wanted to find out who was behind the breach in security that you would have to correct during your next shift.

“Oh that? That was a simple task,” the Doctor shrugged offhandedly, regaining any composure he had lost a moment ago, “I simply struck up a conversation with one of your department members? What was her name…. Hmm I suppose I forgot it, or rather did not bother to remember it in the first place,” he shrugged, “Regardless, she seemed rather enthralled for the chance to observe me as she happened to come across me during my morning workout a few days prior,” he smirked at you, “it is funny how people misplace vital pieces of technology at the mere sight of human muscle.”

You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms around your chest, the Doctor’s eyes following your movements again. Aeons, could this dude be any less subtle, “You’re telling me you managed enter your information into the permitted visitor’s list to the Seclusion Zone simply by using your rizz to distract the poor girl while she was on duty?”

“I am unsure of the meaning of…’rizz’ but you are correct,” he smirked as the frustration grew on your expression, “I must say, considering the recent Anti Matter Legion invasion, I would expect more from a security department which must be struggling to win back the trust and support of researchers. What a pity.” You resisted the urge to clench your jaw in frustration, forcing yourself to take a deep breath to release the growing tension in your body.

“And I would expect a delegate from the IPC would have better things to do then visually undress me after illegally obtaining entry to this area,” you retorted, scootching your chair close to his for a moment until your knees touched, ignoring the jolt you felt from the contact. His throat bobbed as he watched you place a hand on his clothed knee, “Does your both know your tendency for sexual harassment? Or am I the lucky one getting to see this side of you.”

“I-If there’s anyone engaging in harassment between the two of us, it is clearly you!’ he attempted to tilt his chin upwards in a show of domination, though the stutter in his tone was as clear as day, “I’ll let you know I have much better things to do than entertain this exacting conversation.” He turned his head away from you, crossing those muscular arms across his chest again. You scanned him for a moment; it definitely was no wonder that the guy worked out, he was built like a statue or something with the girth of those arms. You let your mind wander a few unsavoury places for a moment before you remembered who you were talking to.

“Good to know Doctor,” you said drily, using your feet to push your body away from his, the heat from his knees touching yours remaining on your bare leg. You turned your shoulder, facing your laptop again, this time with the determination to do work, “If that’s the case, you have no reason to stay here. It may be my day off, but I got work to do. So, like I said before, shoo. Leave me alone.” You mockingly waved your hand at him again, eyes still focused on the screen.

You were starting to wonder if the man in front of you had no concept of the words shoo, as he once again scooted his chair closer to you, this time his eyes focused on the computer. Based on his demeanour, he had already, his movements made with no hint of hesitation. You did your best to ignore him, even the wheels of his office chair nudged the wheels of your own, his chair now firmly placed directly behind you. You could feel his breath on your face and sense the heat from his toned body as he leaned in, as if wanted to get a closer work at what you were doing. The tension resting between you two was hot and electrifying, leaving goosebumps on your skin and, despite the disgust rising in your stomach, a slight heat on your cheeks. To your credit, you kept your features neutral, even as his toned arm accidentally brushed against your elbow resting firmly on the chair, the feeling of his firm muscles only adding to the heat surrounding the two of you. You forced your fingers to move expertly across the keyboard, glad the motions were well-trained and familiar to account for the brain fog that this whole situation was giving you.

The Doctor was the first to speak, breaking through the growing atmosphere between you two, “You know how to code?” he questioned, no hint of a quip in his tone as he watched your fingers move, line after line of a carefully typed code appearing on your screen.

“What, no insult with your words Doctor? Getting soft on me?” you teased, a closed-lip smile taking over your face, though your focus remained on the screen, “I know how to code,” was your simple confirmation. A moment of silence passed between you two, as if he was trying to process the information.

“Why?”

The one-word reply broke your concentration, your eyes finally leaving the screen to face the Doctor beside you, his hand on his chin once again, as if in thought, “Are you seriously asking me why I can code? Why not? We leave in a free universe after all,” you held back an eye roll.

You were surprised, even slightly creeped out, when he replied again without a quip attached to his words, “By the way you’re typing, you clearly have experience with this. Given your young age, and the fact you have worked your way up to a senior position in the Security Department on a renowned station, you must have learned outside of a place of formal education,” you blinked dumbly at his lines of reasoning. Maybe this dude really was a genius, “So yes, Miss Y/N, I am asking why.”

You let a few moments of silence pass before smirking at him, “So, you think I look young?”

“Is that really all you picked up from that speech? Perhaps I am giving you too much credit your intelligence,” he scoffed, watchful eyes noticing you stifle a chuckle in your hand. Ah, finally, you worked another quip out of him.

“If you are so curious to know more about me,” you started, the mix of playfulness and seriousness in your words calming his agitation, “I used to work for Lady Asta’s family before I worked here,” you shrugged, “A while back, her family wanted a new security system, and the ones offered by the IPC are either overpriced or stupidly designed,” she flashed him a sly smile, “No offence of course. So, I borrowed some books from the library about coding, and I taught myself. That’s all there is to it.”

“So you are self-taught,” he pondered to himself, “quite interesting. At least you manage to possess intelligence in some areas, even if you happen to be an idiot in most others.” You laughed out loud at that one, earning a strange, long look from the Doctor that you couldn’t quite read.

“Aww, Doc, is that a complement I hear? Guess I can’t blame you, I am a woman of many talents after all,” you smirked at him, leaning back in your chair to invade his personal space, your arm brushing his own as you did. Flesh lingered on flesh for a moment until he pulled the limb away.

“If that is your definition of a complement, you are a greater idiot than I suspected,” he snapped back, the speed of which he defended your remark being oddly quick. You watched him as he scooched his chair further away from you, the warmth of his skin on your own still lingering on your arm.

“Hmm, whatever you say,” you hummed playfully, noticing the way the Doctor swallowed heavily at your teasing, “I answered your little questions, can you leave now? The Station’s security system can’t exactly maintain itself ya’ know?” You knew you should turn back to your laptop, but witnessing the Doctor like this was just too good of a reward to give up.

“You designed the security system?” he asked, tone of genuine curiosity instead of judging disgust. Wow, he must really be growing soft on you.

“How else do you think I got promoted exactly?” you raised a teasing eyebrow, “I’m not exactly the model security guard,” you let your eyes gesture to your water bottle, a knowing look passing both of your faces as you took a swig of the alcohol inside, “I had to earn my promotion elsewhere. So yeah, I did design the system; well, really I just replaced the old one from before Asta, Arlan and I got here,” you shrugged, “Same difference. I’m sure you’re glad to know the very system causing you headaches upon arrival and preventing the docking of your ship was my own! Does it feel nice to know that you physically couldn’t drive your ship forward because of my external protection shield?”

“It explains why the system is as infuriating as you,” he explained drily, tone unamused at your quips. You opened your mouth, a playful comment on the tip of your tongue, before both you and the Doctor were distracted by the sound of the farther elevator returning to the main floor of the Seclusion Zone. You and the Doctor watched in silence as the metallic door opened, the Trailblazer strutting over to you with confusion in their eyes. A quick glance told you that the doctor had repositioned his alabaster head, leaving only his figure exposed.

“Whose this?” they asked you, gaze flickering between you two. You were happy that, either given their confusion or just their pure ignorance, they failed to recognize the heat that had built between the two of you, as if their one-track mind could only focus on one stimulus at a time. You weren’t exactly prepared to explain the source of the tension.

“He’s not important,” you commented drily. Despite the alabaster head on the Scholar’s body, you almost felt that you could see him glaring at you, “Did you find what you were looking for?”

“I gotta take that other elevator; go to the bottom floor,” they explained, eyes flickering to the second metallic elevator, closer to the main elevator you had descended from earlier. You recognized the hesitation in their tone, causing you to raise an eyebrow.

“That’s fine… but you good?” you questioned, “Is something down there?” you paused for a moment, as if waiting for an answer, before sighing, “Oh right, I forgot that you’re doing that whole not talking thing. Whatever, it’s fine, I can come with, if that would make you feel better.” You flashed them a smile that you hoped was reassuring despite the less-than-civil encounter you had with the Trailblazer earlier. Luckily for you, it seemed to be reassuring enough, as they matched your expression back.

“Honestly, that’d be great, thanks Miss Y/N,” you could almost visibly see the tension leave their body, shoulders relaxing and breathing settled. Their own relief caused the smile to remain on your face before the grating sound of the Doctor’s voice invaded your thoughts.

“So? Get on with it then,” the man beside you finally regained his composure, huffing at the two of you, “Are you waiting for a sign? Time is ticking, descend via the elevator, what you seek is there.” You cocked an eyebrow at the knowing tone, forcing you to look at the Doctor, standing to place one hand on your hip.

“And how would you know, Doctor, what my friend here is looking for?” you strutted into his personal space, finger poking his closed chest accusingly. His covered head tilted down as if following the motion, before tilting up again. The action was probably a mistake, you recognized, doing nothing to quell whatever the hell you two had built up a few moments prior, but if you were good at anything, it was threatening people.

“It appears, Miss Y/N, that you became so caught up in our banter that you failed to ask a vital question; why am I here in the first place?” your finger lowered in shock as you listened to the words, the scholar taking the chance to stand and turn his back to you, leaving you face-to-face with his muscles as he talked to the Trailblazer, “I know exactly who you are, and I am aware you are in Ruan Mei’s employ. This was not my intended destination,” he turned his body to face you, giving you know choice but to tilt your head upward to meet his gaze, or else be sentenced to look at his toned chest, “If your Miss Y/N had the intelligence to question why I was here, instead of merely question how, she would have been able to tell you that I just happened to find my way here during my visit, and saw what she was up to. My goals are roughly aligned with yours. Since you’re here, I won’t intercede. That’s all you need to know.”

The Trailblazer merely blinked, as if struggling to process the words, “Sooo, what’s with the alabaster head?” Though you couldn’t see the Doctor’s expression, you could almost picture the way his jaw must have dropped at the casual comment, a thought that would’ve made you laugh, if not for the rising suspicion you had of the man.

“My question exactly,” you huffed, rolling your eyes. At least you and the Trailblazer could agree on one thing. Unlike when you made comments about it the other day, though, the Doctor kept the head firmly in place.

“Because I can’t bear to see idiots. Of course, they wouldn’t want to see me either,” the Trailblazer once again stared blankly, earning a sigh from the Doctor, “Regardless, the real Ruan Mei’s creation is hidden in the giant incubator below us.”

“Incubator?” you questioned, though besides a sparing glance, no one offered you a reply, “Ruan Mei’s creation? Aeons, I’ve about had it here with that woman and her stupid ecological research.” you rolled your eyes.

“You two best hurry. Go. Take the elevator and bear witness to this ‘Genius Masterpiece,” as if feeling confident in his reply, the scholar turned on his heel to leave, strutting towards the central elevator.

“We are definitely having a chat about this later!” you called after him, not bothering to hide the anger in your tone. The man of the hour merely glanced over his shoulder, alabaster head still in place as he pushed the button to the elevator. You hated how his muscles flexed at the motion, leaving your lips empty of threats for a moment as the elevator descended quickly to your level, and opened up to allow him access to the upstairs.

“I will look forward to that conversation then,” was his simple reply as he stepped inside, “I wonder what pathetic insults you will manage to muster this time” The metal doors closed behind him, leaving the room temporarily basked in silence. You were grateful for the chance to force your anger back down.

“Let’s go,” you nodded to your companion, following their lead as they rushed towards the other elevator, hurriedly pressing the button, as if their quick finger movements would make the machine arrive faster, “Care to explain what this incubator is, exactly?” you raised an eyebrow as you both waited.

“Can’t,” was their only response before they rushed into the now open device, forcing you to hurry after them.

“Rude, what did Ruan Mei do to you exactly” You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms as the machine started to descend. You spoke again, knowing that they, for whatever reason, couldn’t provide you with an answer, “Whatever, I’ll know soon enough anyway. Aeons, this day is exhausting,” you attempted to force the tiredness out of your eyes, your relatively calm demeanour contrasting the stress building up on the Trailblazer’s features. Their growing stress, though, was starting to give you some second thoughts too. They may not be the brightest book on the shelf, but they had fought a plethora of beasts in their short lifespan. The fact that whatever was down here was stressing them out was almost ominous.

Soon enough, the elevator arrived in the bottom room, forcing you and the Trailblazer to step out, your eyes immediately widening, “The hell? What did Ruan Mei do to our old welcome hall?” you groaned, taking in the giant broken device hanging above, dripping some type of fluid on to the floor, “Does she even know how long it takes to clean these floors? Aeons, she’s insufferable.” The normal lightening down in the hall wasn’t flickering on, leaving the round, circular space bathed in an eerie red light. Ruan Mei had replaced the old chandelier with some sort of investigation which clearly wasn’t safe or ethical, the thing suspended above the ground haphazardly.

“I think that’s the least of our problems right now, Miss Y/N,” the Trailblazer muttered, gesturing for you to look further up. You did as they told you, following their lead, both of your eyes widening what you saw. Flying right at you was a giant blue bug, probably 20 feet tall with sharp stingers and an even sharper, angry expression. The Trailblazer was quick to react, summoning their bat and swinging it at the creature in a vain attempt to drive it off. You quickly summoned your own weapon, a black pistol, pointing it in the creature’s direction.

“What the fuck is that thing?” you exclaimed, dodging out of the way when the bug flew at you two again, stifling a groan as your body hit the ground hard, your knees taking the brunt of the impact. You were quick to get your feet back under you, forcing any vertigo out of you and aiming the gun once again as the creature flew around you. You waited til it stilled momentarily to fire a shot, not wanting to risk something more reckless in a closed space with the Trailblazer around. Not that the shot made much of a difference anyway; the creature only shrieked, flying once again as if not in danger at all.

“It’s an emantor of propagation clone! How could this be…?” the Trailblazer muttered from beside you, swinging the bat hard at the big again when it charged you, not caring as he got hit in the side by one of the claws, “Miss Y/N, we gotta defeat this thing fast, otherwise the swarm will-”

Before he could finish his sentence, you watched in horror as the bug paused, making a noise somewhere between the sloshing of water and squishing of something slimy as the one bug turned into two… and then four. The replication process caused a gust of energy to swirl around the enclosed space, the force of the gust pulling you and the Trailblazer closer and closer to the center of it.

Struggling to keep their footing, the Trailblazer fell to the ground, unaware of the several bugs flying in their direction. You were quick to grab them by the waist, dragging them to the side forcefully to dodge the onslaught of attacks, throwing caution to the wind to fire your weapon at the smaller bugs. However, with the force of the dodge, and the continued harsh breeze, you too fell to your knees, leaving you to hold up your pistol protectively as the bug continued to swarm around you.

“Miss Y/N!” the Trailblazer exclaimed, pointing up in horror. Your eyes widened as the larger bug created something seemingly akin to a black hole above you, the large ball of energy blowing a dark blue colour as it grew bigger and bigger. You pushed the Trailblazer’s body behind you in vain, wondering how the hell you were supposed to get out of this situation as the ball grew bigger and bigger. You had half the mind to tell the Trailblazer to run off, to get out of there before the both of you were killed.

At the moment you truly felt helpless. It’s funny how we can take life for granted, living day after day without a care in the world, until some crazy genius lady creates a bug that threatened the safety of hundreds with her stupid creation. Your body still on top of the Trailblazers, you held them protectively, hoping that at least they would survive, even if that meant your untimely demise. Someone had to protect the researchers, and if that couldn’t be you, at least you knew that the Trailblazer would have it covered. You stared at the growing blackhole, accepting whatever fate you would be dealt.

That was, until everything exploded, the blackhole shattering into pieces as if the creature was made of shards of glass. Above you, the five bugs shook violently for a moment, their bodies growing larger and larger before they exploded into pieces. A trail of blood and guts rained down on the two of you like some messed-up version of a snowstorm, coating your body in a slimy substance that you sure as hell hoped would wash out in the bath.

You let yourself lay there for a second, your body still on top of the Trailblazers, just trying to catch your breath. Your heart was thumping like crazy, as if your body, like the bug, also was on the brink of explosion due to the build-up of adrenaline. You forced yourself to breathe, though the breaths were still shaky as you moved your head to view the surrounding area.

“Hey… it’s okay now, were safe,” you moved your body off of your companion below you, tone gentle and reassuring. They slowly opened their eyes, as if shocked to be alive. Given what you both had just seen, you were in no position to judge them for their reaction. A few more seconds of that thing and you both would’ve been toast.

“It’s over..?” they questioned, voice as shaky as their wobbly legs as they stood. You were quick to stand to, steading them by placing a gentle hand on their back “Are you okay Miss Y/N?”

“As good as one can be after almost dying, I guess,” you moved your hand away after they regained their balance, observing the piles of bug guts surrounding the two of you. You realized then that you would probably be tasked with cleaning all this up, causing your face to recoil in disgust.

“...I…I need to get some answers out of Ruan Mei,” the Trailblazer muttered, body still shaky as they turned from your form, “Thanks for the help Miss Y/N… I really owe you one.” They didn’t wait for a reply, simply dragging their tired body to the elevator, leaving you alone in the room, your hear still hammering out of your chest.

As you stared at the mountains of insect guts coating the bottom of the incubator room, only one thing came to mind.

“I really need a raise…”

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #honkai starrail #honkai starrail x reader #dr ratio x reader #doctor ratio x reader #dr ratio #doctor ratio #screwllum x reader #screwllum

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a-simple-gaywitch · 2 years

Text

Amidst the Chaos

Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: Spencer and (Y/N) didn't get along, and it annoyed the whole BAU. But when a traumatized (Y/N) shows up at Spencer's apartment late one night, their whole relationship shifts

Warnings: PTSD, trauma, references to torture, other canon-typical topics

Word Count: 3827

Author’s Note: not necessarily my best fic, but i’ve been working on it for over a year so... here it is

Orpheus - Sara Bareilles

AO3 Link

“Don't stop trying to find me here amidst the chaos. Though I know it's blinding, there's a way out.” ~ Sara Bareilles, Orpheus

“Guys, I want you to meet our newest team member,” Hotch said to the BAU as they settled around the table. “This is Agent (Y/N) (L/N).”

You gave a shy wave to the group in front of you, but your smile was bright enough to light up the entire room. “Hi.”

“She’s coming to us from Organized Crime. I trust that you’ll all welcome her to the team.”

“Honestly, I’m just happy to be given a chance to work with all of you. It’s been my dream to work at the BAU for years.”

“We’ll have time to get to know Agent (L/N) better on the plane. But for now, we have a case,” Hotch said. “JJ?”

“So,” Derek said, taking a seat next to you on the jet. “What was Organized Crime like?”

“Honestly? Boring as all hell. It was mostly stopping money laundering and drug cartels,” you said. “Not as glamorous as Goodfellas makes it seem. Besides, the BAU was always my end goal anyway.”

He chuckled a bit. “Yeah, I get that. We’re glad to have you on our team. ” The conversation between you and Morgan flowed easily and before you knew it, you had become like brother and sister. The rest of the team grew to love you too. Well, most of the team.

Spencer seemed icy and cold toward you, and no one could offer a valid explanation. By all accounts, you should have gotten along. You loved Halloween just as much as Spencer did and you always had at least 3 books on your person at a time. You had a borderline unhealthy addiction to caffeine and sugar and spent more time in the office than your apartment. But for some reason, you and Spencer just seemed to constantly be at each other’s throats.

In your defense, Reid had started it.

For whatever reason, Reid disliked you right out the gate. He tried to be civil toward you, but something about you just bothered him.

He originally just tried to avoid you when he could, but with the nature of the team’s dynamic, that didn’t work out well.

Spencer found himself doing small, petty things to annoy you, like putting your favorite mug on the top shelf where you couldn’t reach it or borrowing your pens and “forgetting” to return them. Something about seeing you mildly inconvenienced and annoyed as opposed to your normally happy and bubbly self made him feel better. He knew it was fucked up of him.

Eventually, the animosity became mutual. You and Spencer were rarely paired together on cases because Hotch couldn’t stand the constant arguing between the two of you. Mostly, Hotch tended to pair you with Derek who you began to see as a brother.

Spencer would never admit it, but seeing you and Derek be as close as you were stirred some kind of jealousy in him. He figured it was just because he had been friends with Morgan first, that was all.

Local cases were always extra stressful on the team. Something about unsubs being so close to home made the cases more personal. As such, tensions were running high and no one had slept in over 24 hours as the team worked to nail down a profile.

“This doesn’t make sense,” you muttered as you looked over the crime scene photos. “The crime profiles as disorganized but the victimology and timeline profile him as organized.”

“How you doing there, Pretty Girl?” Morgan asked, setting down a carrier of coffee cups.

You sighed and picked up the cup with your name scrawled on it. “There’s discrepancies in our preliminary profile and I can’t…”

“Did you try comparing notes with Reid?”

“Derek, I love you, but are you insane?”

“I’m serious, (Y/N).”

“So am I. Any time I try to have any kind of civilized conversation with that man he turns it into an argument.”

Thankfully, Hotch came into the room at that point, stopping the conversation. “We have two potential leads. Morgan, you’re going with Blake to the first address. (L/N), you and Reid are going to the second.” Hotch tossed you both keys for SUVs. “Reid and Blake have the files. They’ll fill you in on the drive.”

“Yes, sir.” You grabbed your coffee from the table, along with Reid’s, and headed out to the car. When you got to the parking lot, Reid was already leaning against the car, flipping through a file folder. “Reid. Here.”

As you handed him the coffee, he said, “What, was everyone else busy?”

You rolled your eyes. “I don’t know. I’m just following Hotch’s orders.” You unlocked the car and climbed in. “Where are we going?”

“21 Rock Creek Road, Somerset. We’re interviewing Linda Walsh, the neighbor of our first victim, Savanna Curtis.”

“Great. Can you type it into the GPS?”

“Why? I can just give you the directions.”

“Because the GPS is more accurate.”

“(L/N), I have an eidetic memor-”

“Eidetic memory, I know. But you’re telling me your memory can predict traffic patterns? I don’t think so. Just use the damn GPS.”

“Fine.” Spencer typed the address in, muttering under his breath.

“Thank you. What information do we have on Walsh?”

“72 years old, she was reportedly in the house when Curtis was attacked and taken to the secondary location. Hotch wants us to interview her and see if she noticed anything that might help us with the profile.”

Soon enough, the two of you pulled up to the witness’s house. Before even getting out of the car, you felt like something was wrong.

”Wait, Reid.” You grabbed his arm as he reached for the door handle. “Something about this doesn’t feel right.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look at the windows. All of them are dark. Not even a television glow. Something’s off.”

“I hate to say it, but you’re right.”

You hopped out of the car and pulled your gun from your side, following Reid up the path to the house. He knocked on the front door.

“I don’t hear anything from inside.” He knocked again. “Go around the back, see if you can get in that way.”

You nodded and walked around the house. You could hear Reid continuing to knock as you went around. As you rounded the corner, a sharp pain entered your shoulder. You yelled and turned around, but not before a blunt object hit you in the temple and your vision faded.

Spencer was panicking. You were missing, and it was his fault. He was pacing in the front yard of Walsh’s home while the team and the local authorities worked to catch up.

“Reid, what happened?” Hotch asked. “We need everything.”

Spencer relayed every detail from the moment the two of you pulled up to the house, still pacing. “I shouldn’t have told her to go off on her own, it’s my fault-”

“Kid, breathe,” Morgan told him. “You didn’t know this would happen. What’s important now is finding her and bringing her home safe.”

The team did a thorough inspection on Mrs. Walsh’s home and learned a good deal. Mrs. Walsh wasn’t home, as was reported. However, her son, Devin, was clearly staying with her. It didn’t take the team long to figure out he was the unsub.

When you awoke, you were in a secondary location. Your head was throbbing behind your eyes and your shoulder was in agony. Your arms were tied behind your back, but that was the only restraint to your mobility. You looked around, trying to figure out where you were. It was a large, open space, you guessed a warehouse, probably abandoned. It was dark, except for the glow of the streetlights outside and an industrial lamp in the center of the room. You didn’t have much time to assess your surroundings, though, because Walsh was waiting for you to wake up.

You knew the facts of the case. You saw the photos. He kept the women for 24 hours, torturing them until their bodies were barely recognizable. Then, he’d kill and dump them.

But you also knew your team. They were relentless. And they would save you.

“We’ve seen what he does to his victims. We’re in a race against the clock here,” Morgan argued with Hotch.

“But we still have to keep our heads and follow the law. If we don’t get a warrant, any evidence we do find goes right out the window.”

“Guys, Garcia found something,” JJ said. She put her phone on speaker. “Go ahead, Garcia.”

“So, Walsh’s dear old dad was the owner of a warehouse in the 80s. The warehouse is still in his name but has since been abandoned. And before you even ask, yes, I sent you the address.”

The SUVs pulled up to the warehouse and the team jumped out. The plan was to enter the building slow and quiet, but that changed when they heard you scream, followed by a gunshot. Then, everything went silent. Completely silent.

Everyone rushed into the building. The team was terrified of what they were about to find. What they saw, no one could have expected.

You were lying unconscious on the floor, in a pool of blood. Also on the floor, with a bullet hole through his forehead, was Devin Walsh. Standing with a gun in her hands was 72 year old Linda Walsh, tears running down her face.

“I had to,” she said, looking at Hotch. “He was gonna kill her.”

“We need a medic!”

The team was sitting around your hospital bed. The doctor had said you probably wouldn’t wake up for a while, but they were determined to have someone there with you when you did.

“We should take shifts,” JJ suggested. “That way there’s always someone here and the rest of us can get some rest, too.”

“That’s a good idea. Dave and I can take the first shift,” Hotch said. “We’ll do four-hour rotations in pairs.”

They talked through who would pair up and take what rotations before Rossi shooed the rest of the team out.

Eventually, Reid and Morgan were on their “shift.” Morgan glanced over at Reid, who was staring at the same page of a book.

“You ever gonna flip that page?”

“What if she doesn’t wake up?”

“Kid, you heard the doctor. She will.”

“But what if she doesn’t? It would be my fault. I’m the one who made her go off by herself. We were supposed to be a team and I couldn’t see past-” He cut himself off, shaking his head.

“Hey,” Morgan put his hand on Spencer’s shoulder, “it’ll be okay, Reid. I’m gonna go grab a coffee. Want one?”

“Sure.” After Morgan left, Spencer looked at you and sighed. Your body was wrapped in casts and bandages. “Hey, (L/N),” he said, reaching out and resting his hand on top of yours.

One thing you didn’t expect about being in a medically induced coma was to still hear everything going on around you. You could hear the doctors and nurses moving about your room. You could hear your teammates. You heard Hotch and Rossi talking about the paperwork they’d have to file on the case because an agent had been seriously injured. You heard the music Penelope insisted on playing, and you heard Spencer.

“Hey, (L/N),” you heard him say. “I don’t know if you can hear me but,” he took a deep breath, “I’m sorry. Not just for this. I mean, obviously for this. I never should have split us up, I never should have sent you around the back of the house, I never should have-” he stopped himself. You could hear the tightness in his voice. Was he crying? No, Reid wouldn’t be crying over you. Would he? But he continued. “I was awful to you. I mean, I was an asshole,” he said with a dry laugh. “There’s no other word for it. I was an asshole to you and there was no excuse. I’m so sorry, (Y/N). I-”

“One cup of sugar with a splash of coffee,” Derek said, coming back into the room.

“Thanks.” Reid took the cup in both his hands, grateful for a distraction from his guilt.

“Any change?”

He shook his head. “None.”

Derek sighed. “You know, part of me was really hoping she’d wake up in the five minutes I was gone.” He gripped your hand that wasn’t casted up. “We miss you, Pretty Girl.”

Your coma lasted for about 3 weeks. The doctors kept you in the hospital for observation for another full week before finally letting you go home.

During your recovery, your apartment was practically a revolving door. Just about the entire team came by to check on you and keep you company, with the exception of Spencer. You couldn’t say you were too surprised. However, something about it upset you. Hell, even Hotch and Rossi took the time to stop by and check on you.

Derek and Penelope were probably your most frequent visitors. You were honestly grateful for their visits, and for the help it brought. With your injuries, simple day-to-day tasks were more difficult for you, and Penelope and Derek were more than happy to help you out. Derek took your grocery list and all your other errands while Penelope helped around your apartment. You were even more grateful when they forced you to attend a dinner party at Rossi’s. Penelope was at your apartment, helping you pick out a dress for the event.

“I don’t know, Pen.”

“(Y/N), I’m telling you, purple is your color.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want my dress to match my bruises.”

Penelope just rolled her eyes and tossed the dress on your bed. “Do you really think I’d pick out a dress that didn’t make you look good? Let’s go, you haven’t had a proper shower in a week.”

Penelope helped you get ready for the dinner party before getting ready herself. She helped adjust the strap of your brace when your doorbell buzzed.

“That’ll be Derek,” you said. Penelope answered the door to Derek standing outside, leaning against your doorframe.

“Well, look at these pretty ladies. You ready to go?”

“Yeah, I need to get out of this house,” you said. “I haven’t seen anything but these walls in weeks.”

When you pulled into Rossi’s driveway, you were more than excited to see the team. The team, in turn, was excited to see you. You were smiling and laughing, more and more of your normal self.

When Spencer saw you walk through Rossi’s front door on your crutches, a lump formed in his throat. Ever since seeing you in the hospital, he’d been wracked with guilt. It was the main reason why he hadn’t visited you like everyone else. He tried to avoid you the whole night. Thankfully, you were so happy to be with the others that you didn’t seem to notice. But Blake did.

“Okay, what’s going on with you?” she asked Spencer, handing him a drink.

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re avoiding everyone tonight. Why?” When Spencer stayed silent, Blake followed his line of sight. He was watching you talking with JJ. “Ah. Why don’t you go talk to her?”

“I can’t, Alex. Believe me, I’ve tried. For months. Any time I try and have just a normal goddamn conversation with her, what comes out is sarcastic and cruel. I-I don’t know why it happens.” He ran his hands over his face and groaned.

“You’re in love with her.” Blake wasn’t saying it as a question. Seeing the panic in his eyes, she said, “Don’t worry, it’ll stay with me.”

The heavy sheets of rain outside pounded against the apartment windows. It was the kind of cold rain that seeped into your bones, despite a warm home. It was late, but Spencer was still awake, reading. He couldn’t sleep, which wasn’t unusual for him. He heard a knock on his door. Spencer set his book down on his coffee table before walking to his door. He glanced out the peephole and took a step back in shock. Spencer opened the door to see you standing there, soaked and visibly shivering, in only your pajamas. Your eyes were bloodshot and you were sniffling.

“(L/N)? What are you-”

“I’m sorry. I know you probably don’t want me here and I don’t even know how I ended up here, I just started walking and-”

“Wait, wait, you walked here? In the torrential downpour?” When you nodded, Spencer opened his door wider. “Here, come in. You must be freezing. What happened?”

You stepped through his door and began to ramble, “I don’t know. I woke up from a nightmare and I knew I-I couldn’t stay in my apartment alone so I just started walking and somehow I ended up here and I’m sorry.” Your teeth were chattering as you continued to shiver.

Spencer grabbed a blanket off the back of his couch and draped it around you. “No, no, it’s, um-” Spencer cleared his throat. “Do you want to talk about it? I’ve found that sometimes just saying it out loud helps.”

Once you nodded, Spencer held his hand out and led you over to his couch. You were silent for a few moments, staring out the window at the rain streaming down.

“I was back… there,” you said when you finally started talking. “In the dark. I-I couldn’t see anything but I knew he was there. Then I felt his hands on my throat and-” You cut yourself off, shaking your head. Your whole body was shivering, but Spencer didn’t think it was from the cold anymore.

Spencer moved to put his arm around you but stopped, dropping his arm back to his side. “I know how you feel,” he said. “After Hankle, I couldn’t handle looking at the crime scene photos because I knew what the victims were thinking right… you know… right before.”

“Do they ever stop? The nightmares?”

“I don’t know. Mine haven’t.” When he saw the defeat on your face, he added, “But it does get easier.”

You nodded, still staring out at the pouring rain. You cleared your throat. “Well, uh, I’ll, um, I’ll call a taxi and get out of your hair.”

“You don’t- uh, you can stay, um, if-if you want,” Spencer said.

“Reid, I don’t want to impose-”

“You wouldn’t be!” Spencer assured you. “I could use the company, actually. I’ve been trying to find someone to watch Stardust with me. Penelope says I need to watch more pop culture and I know you’re a fan of Neil Gaiman.” He gave you a soft smile. “Please, (Y/N), stay. I promise, you’re not imposing.”

When he saw your face crack into a small smile, he felt a swarm of butterflies rise in his stomach. “Okay,” you said.

About halfway through the movie, Spencer felt you slump against his shoulder. Before he knew it, you were fast asleep. He was frozen there, not wanting to disturb you. He knew how rough the past few months had been, and it was obvious to everyone you weren’t sleeping. Maybe it was the guilt, maybe it was more, but Spencer felt like it was now his responsibility to take care of you, if you would let him.

The whole team noticed the shift between you and Reid. Where you would previously stay as far from each other as possible, you were now actively seeking each other out. You chose to sit next to each other in the briefing room and on the jet, something you had never done before. On the trips back from cases, you would rest your head on Reid’s shoulder and sleep while he read a book. But, no one said anything about any of it. No one wanted to burst whatever weird bubble was surrounding the BAU team.

That was, until Blake, Derek, and JJ spotted you knocking on Spencer’s motel door one night during a case. The two were sitting up in the lounge going over the case files yet again when they spotted you, in your pajamas, sneaking out of your own room.

After watching you slip into Spencer’s room, JJ said, “You don’t think they’re…”

“Reid and (L/N)? No, there’s no way. They can’t stand each other.”

“Well, they do say there’s a thin line between love and hate,” Alex noted, turning the page in her book.

“I don’t know about you two, but I need to know what’s going on,” Derek said, getting up from the couch.

“I’m coming with you!”

“Guys, I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” Alex warned. “Just talk to them about it in the morning.”

“Do you know something, Alex?” JJ asked.

“Even if I did know something, it wouldn’t be my place to tell you.”

The next morning, you felt eyes on you as you drank your coffee. You looked up from the case file to see Derek staring at you.

“What?”

“Were you going to tell me about you and Reid or…”

“What are you talking about? Me and Reid?”

“(Y/N), come on. You two are practically attached at the hip when just two weeks ago you couldn’t fucking stand each other.”

You shrugged. “We worked out our differences, I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Alright, what about you sneaking off to his room last night?”

Your face paled. “It’s not what it looked like.”

“Care to explain then?”

You sighed, looking around to make sure it was just you and Morgan. “You know I haven’t been sleeping since, well, everything.” Derek nodded. “Well, a few nights ago I ended up at Reid’s apartment in a panic. It was pouring out so he let me just stay and I slept better than I had in years. And, you know, he’s not too bad to hang out with either,” your face flushed with your last statement.

“You’re not too bad to hang out with either.”

You jumped, turning around to see Spencer in the doorway with cups of (good) coffee in his arms.

“Spencer, when did-”

He handed you a frappuccino. “Just now. I take it you weren’t as sneaky as you thought?”

“Shut up,” you whined, nudging him with your arm as you stuck a straw in your drink. Spencer just laughed and took a seat next to you.

“So, you’re just, like, friends now?”

You and Spencer looked at each other, seemingly having a conversation without speaking.

“I mean, I’d say we’re a bit more than just friends,” you admitted, smiling at Spencer. He kissed the top of your head.

“Damn, I owe JJ 10 bucks,” Derek muttered before saying, “But seriously, I’m happy for you two. It’s about time you realized you were perfect for each other.”

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #bau x reader #em's fics

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alexthescaredenby · 2 months

Text

i finished the KOSA

On the Subject of Safety

Blaine/Alex Smith

A paper on the harmful effects of the Kid’s Online Safety Act (informally known as KOSA) on the internet as a whole, as written by a minor.

Censorship. Control. Tyranny. All of these will come to pass if we allow the Kids Online Safety Act (KOSA) to become law and cause the internet as we know it to cease to exist, completely and utterly. KOSA is a new bill that has been introduced by senators Blumenthal and Blackburn, which has the stated goal “to protect the safety of children on the internet” (found on the official website of the United States Congress, here.) This is either a lie, or an incredibly misguided attempt to do what it says it sets out to do. Though it is more likely a lie, or at the very least not the entire truth. First, I must note, if for no other reason than posterity and comprehensiveness, that the bill was introduced by both a Republican senator (Blackburn) and a Democratic senator (Blumenthal). It was also backed by twenty-one Democrats (Lujan, Baldwin, Klobuchar, Peters, Hickenlooper, Warner, Coons, Schatz, Murphy, Welch, Hassan, Durbin, Casey, Whitehouse, Kelly, Carper, Cardin, Menendez, Warren, Kaine, and Shaheen) and nineteen Republicans (Capito, Cassidy, Ernst, Daines, Rubio, Sullivan, Young, Grassley, Graham, Marshall, Hyde-Smith, Mullin, Risch, Britt, Lummis, Murkowski, Lankford, Crapo, and Hawley). That totals forty-two supporters of this heinous piece of legislature. Considering that there are one-hundred Senators, if you do some simple math, you will realize that fifty-eight Senators did not support KOSA. In the context of this monumental decision, that is a frighteningly close vote. If this bill were to pass, nearly all online fandom presence would be completely eradicated, and online privacy, as well as personal autonomy, would become nonexistent. And so, I say it again, KOSA supporters are just barely not the majority in the Senate, by a margin of sixteen individuals. Even though the rewrite of the bill is a slight improvement, at it’s core, KOSA is still a harmful internet censorship bill that will damage the very communities it claims to try protect.

In this bill, a “child” is defined as any person under the age of thirteen, and a “minor” is defined as any person under the age of seventeen. A "parent” is defined as any legal adult who is the biological or adopted parent of a minor, or holds legal custody over a minor. “Compulsive usage” is defined as “any response stimulated by external factors that causes an individual to engage in repetitive behavior reasonably likely to cause psychological distress, loss of control, anxiety or depression”, “Covered platforms” are defined as “an online platform (i.e. Snapchat, Tumblr, Reddit, Twitter/X, Facebook, Instagram, etc.), online video game (i.e. Helldivers 2, Halo, Mario Kart, Civilization 6, etc.), messaging platform (i.e. Snapchat, 4chan, etc.), or video streaming service (i.e. Twitch, YouTube, etc.) that connects to the internet that is used, or is reasonably likely to be used, by a minor” with the exception of “an entity acting in its capacity of: a common carrier service subject to the Communications Act of 1934 (47 U.S.C. 151 et seq.) and all Acts amendatory thereof and supplementary thereto, a broadband internet access service (as such term is defined for purposes of section 8.1(b) of title 47, Code of Federal Regulations, or any successor regulation), an email service, a teleconferencing or video conferencing service that allows reception and transmission of audio and video signals for real-time communication, provided that it is not an online platform, including a social media service or social network; and the real-time communication is initiated using a unique link or identifier to facilitate access, or a wireless messaging service, including such a service provided through short messaging service or multimedia messaging service protocols, that is not a component of or linked to an online platform and where the predominant or exclusive function is direct messaging consisting of the transmission of text, photos or videos that are sent by electronic means, where messages are transmitted from the sender to a recipient, and are not posted within an online platform or publicly, an organization not organized to carry on business for its own profit or that of its members, any public or private institution of education, a library, a news platform where the inclusion of video content on the platform is related to the platform’s own gathering, reporting or publishing of news content or the website or app is not otherwise an online platform, a product or service the primarily functions as a business to business software or a VPN or similar service that exists solely to route internet traffic between locations.

Geolocation is defined as “information sufficient to identify a street name and name of a city or town.” Individual-specific advertising to minors is defined as any form of targeted advertising towards a person who is or reasonably could be a minor, with the exception of advertising in the context of the website or app the advertising is present on, (i.e. an ad for Grammarly on a dictionary website), or for research on the effectiveness of the advertising. The rule of construction is stated to be that "no part of KOSA should be misconstrued to prohibit a lawfully operating entity from delivering content to any person that they know to be or reasonably believe is over the age of seventeen, provided that content is appropriate for the age of the person involved". To "know" something in the context of this bill is to have actual information, or to have information that is fairly implied or assumed under the basis of objective circumstances. A “mental health disorder” is defined as “a condition which causes a clinically significant disturbance or impairment on one’s cognition, emotional regulation, or behavior. “Online platform” is defined as any public platform that mainly provides a means of communication through the form of a public forum or private chatroom (i.e., Discord, Reddit, Tumblr, Twitter, TikTok, etc.). An “online video game” is defined as any video game or game-adjacent service, including those that provide an educational element, that allows users to create or upload content, engage in microtransactions, communicate with other users, or includes minor specific advertising (i.e., Happy Wheels, Adventure Academy, Meet Your Maker, etc.). “Personal data” is defined as any data or information that is linked or could reasonably be linked to a minor. A “personalized recommendation system (PRS)” is defined as any system that presents content to a user based on date and/or analytics from the user or similar users (i.e., a like-based system, a view-based system, a “for you” system, or a “people that watched also liked” system). Finally, “sexual exploitation or abuse” is defined as: coercion and enticement, as described in section 2422 of title 18, United States Code, child sexual abuse material, as described in sections 2251, 2252, 2252A, and 2260 of title 18, United States Code, trafficking for the production of images (child pornography), as described in section 2251A of title 18, United States Code, or sex trafficking of children, as described in section 1591 of title 18, United States Code.

Before I continue with this paper, I would like to draw attention to the fact that nowhere in the defined terms does it define any form of physical, mental, or emotional violence towards minors, only sexual abuse or assault. This will become important later.

Continuing with the bill, we arrive at the actual regulations, policies and laws proposed by the bill. Here begins Section 3 of the bill, or “Duty of care”. This section includes regulations on the online platform used by a minor, and the duties of it and its owner(s), creator(s), moderator(s), or manager(s). In this section, it is stated that a covered platform must, to the best of its reasonable ability, limit the following harms or dangers to any person who is known to be or reasonably believed to be a minor:

Anxiety, depression, substance use disorders, suicidal disorders, and other similar conditions.

Patterns of use that promote or encourage addiction-like behavior.

Physical violence, online bullying, and harassment of the minor.

Sexual exploitation or abuse.

Promotion and marketing of narcotic drugs (as defined in section 102 of the Controlled Substances Act (21 U.S.C. 802)), tobacco products, gambling, or alcohol.

Predatory, unfair, or deceptive marketing, or other financial harms.

With the exception of:

Any content that is deliberately, independently, and willingly requested or sought out by the minor.

Any platform that provides resources or information to help mitigate the aforementioned harms to the minor.

Again, I call attention to the fact that although physical violence is now mentioned and prohibited, it is done so by burying it in the middle of a wall of text. With as touchy of a subject as this is, one would think that more attention would be drawn to it.

And now we get into the meat and potatoes of this rotten bill, with Section 4, or “Safeguards for minors”. In this section, it is stated that any covered platform shall provide any user who is known to be a minor or is reasonably believed to be a minor, with easy-to-use and readily accessible “safeguards” such as:

Limiting the ability of other individuals to communicate with the minor.

Restricting public access to the personal data of the minor.

Limiting features that increase, sustain, or extend use of the covered platform by the minor, such as automatic playing of media, rewards for time spent on the platform, notifications, and other features that result in compulsive usage of the covered platform by the minor.

Controlling personalized recommendation systems for the minor, and giving them the option to either opt out of the system entirely or to limit the types of content shown through the PRS.

Restricting the sharing of GPS data of the minor sufficient for geolocation.

As well as the options for the minor:

Delete the account of the minor, as well as any data or content associated with the account, effectively removing any trace of the account’s existence from the platform, and the internet at large.

Limit the amount of time spent on the platform.

A covered platform shall also provide parents with the following tools:

Requirements:

The ability to manage a minor’s privacy and account settings, including the safeguards and options established under subsection (a), in a manner that allows parents to:

View the privacy and account settings of the minor.

In the case of a user that the platform knows is a child, change and control the privacy and account settings of the account of the minor.

Restrict purchases and financial transactions by the minor, where applicable.

View metrics of total time spent on the platform and restrict time spent on the covered platform by the minor.

The bill also states that any minor(s) affected by the aforementioned systems should be given clear, prompt, and easily understood and accessible notice of if the systems have been applied, in what capacity they are applied in, and how they are applied.

Default Tools:

A covered platform shall provide the following tools and systems to both minor and parent(s) of that minor, and have them be enabled by default:

A reporting mechanism, which is readily available and easily accessible and useable, to report any incidents or crimes involving the minor(s), as well as confirmation that such a report is received, and the means to track it.

To respond to the report in a timely and appropriate manner, within a reasonable timeframe.

An understanding and appreciation of the fact that a reasonable timeframe is:

(A) 10 days (about 1 and a half weeks) after the receipt of a report, if, for the most recent calendar year, the platform averaged more than 10,000,000 active users monthly in the United States.

(B) 21 days (about 3 weeks) after the receipt of a report, if, for the most recent calendar year, the platform averaged less than 10,000,000 active users monthly in the United States.

(C) notwithstanding subparagraphs (A) and (B), if the report involves an imminent threat to the safety of a minor, as promptly as needed to address the reported threat to safety.

Accessibility :

With respect to the aforementioned safeguards, a covered platform shall provide:

Information and control options in a clear and conspicuous manner that takes into consideration the differing ages, capacities, and developmental needs of the minors most likely to access the covered platform and does not encourage minors or parents to weaken or disable safeguards or parental controls.

Readily accessible and easy-to-use controls to enable or disable safeguards or parental controls, as appropriate.

Information and control options in the same language, form, and manner as the covered platform provides the product or service used by minors and their parents.

The bill also states that no part of the previous statements should be construed to prohibit or prevent a covered platform from blocking, banning, filtering, flagging, or deleting content inappropriate for minors from their platform, or to prevent general management of spam, as well as security risks. It also states that regarding PRSs, it shall be illegal for a covered platform to alter or distort any analytics or data gathered from their platform with the purpose of limiting user autonomy. Also included in this section is that no part of KOSA shall be construed to require the disclosure of a minor’s personal data, including search history, contacts, messages, and location. Also stated is that a PRS for a minor is allowed under the condition that it only uses data publicly available, such as the language the minor speaks, or the minor’s age, and that covered platforms are allowed to integrate third-party systems into their platform, if they meet the requirements laid out in the bill.

And now our train arrives at Section 5, “Disclosure”. This section includes rules regarding the disclosure of policies, rules, and terms to a user that is a minor or is reasonably believed to be a minor prior to their registration with a covered platform.

Registration or Purchase:

Prior to registration or purchase of a covered platform, the platform must provide clear and easily understood information on the policies of the platform, its rules, regulations, etc. As well as any PRS used by the platform, and information on how to turn it and the parental controls on and off.

Notification:

Notice and Acknowledgement, Reasonable Effort, and Consolidated Notices:

In the case of an individual that a covered platform knows is a child, the platform shall additionally provide information about the parental tools and safeguards required under section 4 to a parent of the child and obtain verifiable parental consent (as defined in section 1302(9) of the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (15 U.S.C. 6501(9))) from the parent prior to the initial use of the covered platform by the child.

A covered platform shall be deemed to have satisfied the requirement described in subparagraph (A) if the covered platform is in compliance with the requirements of the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (15 U.S.C. 6501 et seq.) to use reasonable efforts (taking into consideration available technology) to provide a parent with the information and to obtain verifiable parental consent as required.

A covered platform may consolidate the process for providing information under this subsection and obtaining verifiable parental consent or the consent of the minor involved (as applicable) as required under this subsection with its obligations to provide relevant notice and obtain verifiable parental consent under the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (15 U.S.C. 6501 et seq.).

Guidance: the FTC may assist covered platforms with compliance with the rules and regulations in this section.

A covered platform that operates a personalized recommendation system shall set out in its terms and conditions, in a clear, conspicuous, and easy-to-understand manner:

An overview of how such personalized recommendation system is used by the covered platform to provide information to users of the platform who are minors, including how such systems use the personal data of minors; and

Information about options for minors or their parents to opt out of or control the personalized recommendation system (as applicable).

Advertising and Marketing Information and Labels:

A covered platform that facilitates advertising aimed at users that the platform knows are minors shall provide clear, conspicuous, and easy-to-understand information and labels to minors on advertisements regarding:

The name of the product, service, or brand and the subject matter of an advertisement;

If the covered platform engages in individual-specific advertising to minors, why a particular advertisement is directed to a specific minor, including material information about how the minor's personal data is used to direct the advertisement to the minor; and

Whether media displayed to the minor is an advertisement or marketing material, including disclosure of endorsements of products, services, or brands made for commercial consideration by other users of the platform.

Resources for Parents and Minors:

A covered platform shall provide to minors and parents clear, conspicuous, easy-to-understand, and comprehensive information in a prominent location regarding:

Its policies and practices with respect to personal data and safeguards for minors.

How to access the safeguards and tools required under section four.

Resources in Additional Languages:

A covered platform shall ensure, to the extent practicable, that the disclosures required by this section are made available in the same language, form, and manner as the covered platform provides any product or service used by minors and their parents.

That concludes Section 5, and now our next stop is Section 6: “Transparency”. This section includes protocols for public transparency for covered platforms, including public reports on the status of potential harm to minors on their platforms.

Scope of Application: the requirements of this section shall apply to a covered platform if:

For the most recent calendar year, the platform averaged more than 10,000,000 active users monthly in the United States.

The platform predominantly provides a community forum for user-generated content and discussion, including sharing videos, images, games, audio files, discussion in a virtual setting, or other content, such as acting as a social media platform, virtual reality environment, or a social network service.

Transparency: The public reports required of a covered platform under this section shall include:

An assessment of the extent to which the platform is likely to be accessed by minors;

A description of the commercial interests of the covered platform in use by minors;

An accounting, based on the data held by the covered platform, of:

The number of individuals using the covered platform reasonably believed to be minors in the United States;

The median and mean amounts of time spent on the platform by minors in the United States who have accessed the platform during the reporting year on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis; and

The amount of content being accessed by individuals that the platform knows to be minors that is in English, and the top 5 non-English languages used by individuals accessing the platform in the United States;

An accounting of total reports received regarding, and the prevalence (which can be based on scientifically valid sampling methods using the content available to the covered platform in the normal course of business) of content related to, the harms described in section 3, disaggregated by category of harm and language, including English and the top five non-English languages used by individuals accessing the platform from the United States.

A description of any material breaches of parental tools or assurances regarding minors, representations regarding the use of the personal data of minors, and other matters regarding non-compliance.

Reasonably Foreseeable Risk of Harm to Minors: the public reports required of covered platforms under this section shall include:

An assessment of the reasonably foreseeable risk of harm to minors posed by the covered platform, including identifying any other physical, mental, developmental, or financial harms.

An assessment of how personalized recommendation systems and individual-specific advertising to minors can contribute to harm to minors.

A description of whether and how the covered platform uses system design features that increase, sustain, or extend use of a product or service by a minor, such as automatic playing of media, rewards for time spent, and notifications.

A description of whether, how, and for what purpose the platform collects or processes categories of personal data that may cause reasonably foreseeable risk of harm to minors.

An evaluation of the efficacy of safeguards for minors under section 4, and any issues in delivering such safeguards and the associated parental tools.

An evaluation of any other relevant matters of public concern over risk of harm to minors.

An assessment of differences in risk of harm to minors across different English and non-English languages and efficacy of safeguards in those languages.

Mitigation: The public reports required of a covered platform under this section shall include, for English and the top 5 non-English languages used by individuals accessing the platform from the United States:

A description of the safeguards and parental tools available to minors and parents on the covered platform.

A description of interventions by the covered platform when it had or has reason to believe that harms to minors could occur.

A description of the prevention and mitigation measures intended to be taken in response to the known and emerging risks identified in its assessment of system risks, including steps taken to:

Prevent harm to minors, including adapting or removing system design features or addressing through parental controls.

Provide the most protective level of control over privacy and safety by default.

Adapt recommendation systems to mitigate reasonably foreseeable risk of harms to minors.

A description of internal processes for handling reports and automated detection mechanisms for harms to minors, including the rate, timeliness, and effectiveness of responses.

The status of implementing prevention and mitigation measures identified in prior assessments.

A description of the additional measures to be taken by the covered platform to address the circumvention of safeguards for minors and parental tools.

Reasonable Inspection: when conducting an inspection on the systemic risk of harm to minors on their platforms under this section, a covered platform shall:

Consider the function any PRS on their platform.

Consult relevant parties with authority on topics relevant to the inspection.

Conduct their research based on experiences of minors using the platform that the study is being conducted on, including reports and information provided by law enforcement.

Take account of outside research, but not outside data for the study itself.

Consider any implied, indicated, inferred, or known information on the age of users.

Consider the presence of both English and non-English speaking users on their platform.

Cooperation With Independent, Third Pary Audit: To facilitate the report required by this section, a covered platform shall:

Provide directly or otherwise make accessible to the third party conducting the audit all:

Information and data that the platform has the access and authority to disclose that are relevant to the audit.

Platforms, systems and assets that the platform has the access and authority to disclose that are relevant to the audio.

Facts relevant to the audit, unaltered and correctly and fully represented.

Privacy Safeguards: In this subsection, the term “de-identified” means data that does not identify and is not linked or reasonably linkable to a device that is linked or reasonably linkable to an individual, regardless of whether the information is aggregated. In issuing the public reports required under this section, a covered platform shall take steps to safeguard the privacy of its users, including ensuring that data is presented in a de-identified, aggregated format such that it is reasonably impossible for the data to be linked back to any individual user. A covered platform must also present or publish the information on a publicly available and accessible webpage.

And now the next stop on our tour is Section 7: Independent Research on Social Media and Minors. This section details the interactions between the FTC and the National Academy of Sciences in the months following the passing of this bill, if and when it passes. It states that the FTC is to seek to enter a contract with the Academy, in which the Academy is to conduct no less that 5 separate independent scientific studies on the risk of harms to minors on social media, addressing:

Anxiety, depression, eating and suicidal disorders.

Substance use (drugs, narcotics, alcohol, etc.) and gambling.

Sexual exploitation and abuse.

Addiction like behaviors leading to compulsive usage.

Additional Study: after at least 4 years since the passing of the bill, the FTC and the Academy shall enter another contract, in which the Academy shall conduct another study on the above topics, to provide more up to data information.

Content of Reports: The comprehensive studies and reports conducted pursuant to this section shall seek to evaluate impacts and advance understanding, knowledge, and remedies regarding the harms to minors posed by social media and other online platforms and may include recommendations related to public policy.

Active Studies: If the Academy is already engaged in any extant studies regarding the topics described above, it may base the studies required of this section off said study, if it is otherwise compliant.

Collaboration: In conducting the studies required under this section, the FTC, National Academy of Sciences, and the Secretary of Health and Human Services shall consult with the Surgeon General and the Kids Online Safety Council (KOSC).

Access to Data: The FTC may issue orders to covered platforms to gather and compile data and information needed for the studies required under this section, as well as issue orders under section 6(b) of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 46(b)) to no more than 5 covered platforms per study under this section. Pursuant to subsections (b) and (f) of section 6 of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 46), the FTC shall also enter in agreements with the National Academy to share appropriate information received from a covered platform pursuant to an order under such subsection (b) for a comprehensive study under this section in a confidential and secure manner, and to prohibit the disclosure or sharing of such information by the National Academy.

Next is a short Section 8: Market Research.

Market Research by Covered Platforms: The FTC, in consultation with the Secretary of Commerce, shall issue guidance for covered platforms seeking to conduct market- and product-focused research on minors. Such guidance shall include:

A standard consent form that provides minors and their parents a clear, conspicuous, and easy-to-understand explanation of the scope and purpose of the research to be conducted, and provides an opportunity for informed consent in the language in which the parent uses the covered platform; and

Recommendations for research practices for studies that may include minors, disaggregated by the age ranges of 0-5, 6-9, 10-12, and 13-16.

The FTC shall issue such guidance no later than 18 months (about 1 and a half years) after the date of enactment of this Act. In doing so, they shall seek input from members of the public and the representatives of the KOSC established under section 12.

As we pull off interstate 8 we come into Section 9: Age Verification Study and Report. This is where the writers evidently started pounding shots of tequila at their desks, as some of the regulations in this section are completely asinine. Here we are told about a mandatory age verification system. Gone will be the days of being born in 1427 as a kid, now our age will be known to any covered platform. Is that what you want?

Study: The Director of the National Institute of Standards and Technology, in coordination with the FCC, FTC, and the SoC, shall conduct a study evaluating the most technologically feasible methods and options for developing systems to verify age at the device or operating system level.

Such study shall consider:

The benefits of creating a device or operating system level age verification system.

What information may need to be collected to create this type of age verification system.

The accuracy of such systems and their impact or steps to improve accessibility, including for individuals with disabilities.

How such a system or systems could verify age while mitigating risks to user privacy and data security and safeguarding minors' personal data, emphasizing minimizing the amount of data collected and processed by covered platforms and age verification providers for such a system.

The technical feasibility, including the need for potential hardware and software changes, including for devices currently in commerce and owned by consumers.

The impact of different age verification systems on competition, particularly the risk of different age verification systems creating barriers to entry for small companies.

Report: No later than 1 year after the passing of KOSA, the agencies described in subsection (a) shall submit a report containing the results of the study conducted under such subsection to the Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation of the Senate and the Committee on Energy and Commerce of the House of Representatives.

Section 10: Guidance.

No later than 18 months (about 1 and a half years) after the date of enactment of this Act, the FTC, in consultation with the KOSC established under section 12, shall issue guidance to:

Provide information and examples for covered platforms and auditors regarding the following, with consideration given to differences across English and non-English languages:

Identifying features used to increase, sustain, or extend use of the covered platform by a minor (compulsive usage).

Safeguarding minors against the possible misuse of parental tools.

Best practices in providing minors and parents the most protective level of control over privacy and safety.

Using indicia or inferences of age of users for assessing use of the covered platform by minors.

Methods for evaluating the efficacy of safeguards; and

Providing additional control options that allow parents to address the harms described in section 3.

Outline conduct that does not have the purpose or substantial effect of subverting or impairing user autonomy, decision-making, or choice, or of causing, increasing, or encouraging compulsive usage for a minor, such as:

Minute user interface changes derived from testing consumer preferences, including different styles, layouts, or text, where such changes are not done with the purpose of weakening or disabling safeguards or parental controls, such as the following, are exceptions to this:

Algorithms or data outputs outside the control of a covered platform.

The establishing of default settings that provide enhanced privacy protection to users or otherwise enhance their autonomy and decision-making ability.

Guidance to Schools: No later than 18 months (about 1 and a half years) after the date of enactment of this act, the SoE, in consultation with the FTC and the KOSC established under section 12, shall issue guidance to assist to assist elementary and secondary schools in using the notice, safeguards and tools provided under this Act and providing information on online safety for students and teachers.

Guidance on Knowledge Standards: No later than 18 months (about 1 and a half years) after the date of enactment of this act, the FTC shall issue guidance to provide information, including best practices and examples, for covered platforms to understand the Commission’s determination of whether a covered platform “had knowledge fairly implied on the basis of objective circumstances” for purposes of this act.

Limitation on FTC Guidance: No guidance issued by the FTC with respect to this act shall:

Confer any rights on any person, State, or locality; or

Operate to bind the FTC or any person to the approach recommended in such guidance.

Enforcement Actions: In any enforcement action made to a covered platform in violation of this act, the FTC:

Shall allege a violation of this act.

May not base such enforcement action on, or execute a consent order based on, practices that are alleged to be inconsistent with guidance issued by the FTC with respect to this aact, unless the practices are alleged to violate a provision of this act.

And now we’re almost on the home stretch, with Section 11, otherwise known as Enforcement. This section outlines, you guessed it, the enforcement of this act.

Enforcement by the FTC:

Unfair and Deceptive Acts or Practices: A violation of this act shall be treated as a violation of a rule defining an unfair or deceptive act or practice prescribed under section 18(a)(1)(B) of the Federal Trade Commission Act.

Powers of the Commission: The FTC shall enforce this act in the same manner, by the same means, and with the same jurisdiction, powers, and duties as though all applicable terms and provisions of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 41 et seq.) were incorporated into and made a part of this act.

Privileges and Immunities: Any person that violates this act shall be subject to the penalties, and entitled to the privileges and immunities, provided in the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 41 et seq.).

Authority Preserved: Nothing in this act shall be construed to limit the authority of the FTC under any other provision of law.

Enforcement by State Attorney General:

Civil Actions: In any case in which the attorney general of a State has reason to believe that an interest of the residents of that State has been or is threatened or adversely affected by the engagement of any person in a practice that violates this act, the State, as parens patrie (de facto parent of any citizens unable to defend themselves) , may bring a civil action on behalf of the residents of the State in a district court of the United States or a State court of appropriate jurisdiction to:

Enjoin that practice.

Enforce compliance with this act.

On behalf of residents of the State, obtain damages, restitution, or other compensation, each of which shall be distributed in accordance with State law.

Obtain such other relief as the court may consider to be appropriate.

Notice: Before filing an action, the attorney general of the State involved shall provide to the Commission:

Written notice of that action.

A copy of the complaint for that action.

Exemption: Clause (i) shall not apply with respect to the filing of an action by an attorney general of a State under this paragraph if the attorney general of the State determines that it is not feasible to provide the notice described in that clause before the filing of the action.

Notification: In an action described in subclause (I), the attorney general of a State shall provide notice and a copy of the complaint to the Commission at the same time as the attorney general files the action.

Intervention: On receiving notice, the Commission shall have the right to intervene in the action that is the notice's subject.

Effect of Intervention: If the Commission intervenes in an action under paragraph (1), it shall have the right:

To be heard with respect to any matter that arises in that action.

To file a petition for appeal.

Construction: For purposes of bringing any civil action under paragraph (1), nothing in this act shall be construed to prevent an attorney general of a State from exercising the powers conferred on the attorney general by the laws of that State to:

Conduct investigations;

Administer oaths or affirmations.

Compel the attendance of witnesses or the production of documentary and other evidence.

Actions by the Commission: In any case in which an action is instituted by or on behalf of the Commission for violation of this act, no State may, during the pendency of that action, institute a separate action under paragraph (1) against any defendant named in the complaint in the action instituted by or on behalf of the Commission for that violation.

Venue; Service of Progress:

Venue: Any action brought under paragraph (1) may be brought in either:

The district court of the United States that meets applicable requirements relating to venue under section 1391 of title 28, United States Code.

A State court of competent authority.

Service of Progress: In an action brought under paragraph (1) in a district court of the United States, process may be served wherever the defendant:

Is an inhabitant.

May be found.

And now we are going to hear about the Kids Online Safety Council we’ve been hearing so much about in the last few sections in Section 12: Kids Online Safety Council.

Establishment: No later than 180 days (about 6 months) after the enactment date of this act, the Secretary of Commerce shall establish and convene the Kids Online Safety Council to provide advice on matters related to this act.

The Kids Online Safety Council shall include diverse participation from:

Academic experts, health professionals, and members of civil society with expertise in mental health, substance use disorders, and the prevention of harm to minors.

Representatives in academia and civil society with specific expertise in privacy and civil liberties.

Parents and youth representation.

Representatives of covered platforms.

Representatives of the NTIA, the NIST, the FTC, the DoJ, and the DHHS.

(6) State attorneys general or their designees acting in State or local government.

Educators.

Representatives of communities of socially disadvantaged individuals (as defined in section 8 of the Small Business Act (15 U.S.C. 637)).

Activities: The matters to be addressed by the Kids Online Safety Council shall include:

Identifying emerging or current risks of harm to minors associated with online platforms.

Recommending measures and methods for assessing, preventing, and mitigating harms to minors online.

Recommending methods and themes for conducting research regarding online harms to minors, including in English and non-English languages.

Recommending best practices and clear, consensus-based technical standards for transparency reports and audits, as required under this a ct, including methods, criteria, and scope to promote overall accountability.

And now for Section 13, Filter Bubble Transparency Requirements. Almost to the end!

Definitions: In this section:

The term “algorithmic ranking system” means a computational process, including one derived from algorithmic decision-making, machine learning, statistical analysis, or other data processing or artificial intelligence techniques, used to determine the selection, order, relative prioritization, or relative prominence of content from a set of information that is provided to a user on a covered internet platform, including the ranking of search results, the provision of content recommendations, the display of social media posts, or any other method of automated content selection.

The term “approximate geolocation information” means information that identifies the location of an individual, but with a precision of less than 5 miles.

The term “Commission” means the Federal Trade Commission.

The term “connected device” means an electronic device that:

Can connect to the internet, either directly or indirectly through a network, to communicate information in the direction of an individual.

Has computer processing capabilities for collecting, sending, receiving, or analyzing data.

Is primarily designed for or marketed to consumers.

Covered Internet Platform: The term “covered internet platform” means any public-facing website, internet application, or mobile application, including a social network site, video sharing service, search engine, or content aggregation service. Such term shall not include a platform that:

Is wholly owned, controlled, and operated by a person that:

For the most recent 6-month period, did not employ more than 500 employees.

For the most recent 3-year period, averaged less than $50,000,000 in annual gross revenue.

Collects or processes on an annual basis the user-specific data of less than 1,000,000 users (about the population of Delaware) or is operated for the sole purpose of conducting research that is not made for profit either directly or indirectly.

Input Transparent Algorithm: The term “input-transparent algorithm” means an algorithmic ranking system that does not use the user-specific data of a user to determine the selection, order, relative prioritization, or relative prominence of information that is furnished to such user on a covered internet platform, unless the user-specific data is expressly provided to the platform by the user for such purpose.

Data Provided for Express Purpose of Interaction with Platform For purposes of subparagraph (A), user-specific data that is provided by a user for the express purpose of determining the selection, order, relative prioritization, or relative prominence of information that is furnished to such user on a covered internet platform:

Shall include user-supplied search terms, filters, speech patterns (if provided for the purpose of enabling the platform to accept spoken input or selecting the language in which the user interacts with the platform), saved preferences, and the current precise geolocation information that is supplied by the user.

Shall include the user's current approximate geolocation information.

Shall include data affirmatively supplied to the platform by the user that expresses the user's desire to receive particular information, such as the social media profiles the user follows, the video channels the user subscribes to, or other content or sources of content on the platform the user has selected.

Shall NOT include the history of the user's connected device, including the user's history of web searches and browsing, previous geographical locations, physical activity, device interaction, and financial transactions.

Shall NOT include inferences about the user or the user's connected device, without regard to whether such inferences are based on data described in clause (i) or (iii).

Opaque Algorithm: The term “opaque algorithm” means an algorithmic ranking system that determines the selection, order, relative prioritization, or relative prominence of information that is furnished to such user on a covered internet platform based, in whole or part, on user-specific data that was not expressly provided by the user to the platform for such purpose.

Exception for Age-Appropriate Content Filtering: Such term shall not include an algorithmic ranking system used by a covered internet platform if:

The only user-specific data (including inferences about the user) that the system uses is information relating to the age of the user.

Such information is only used to restrict a user's access to content on the basis that the individual is not old enough to access such content (i.e., not allowing a 13-year-old to access pornography).

Precise Geolocation Information: The term “precise geolocation information” means geolocation information that identifies an individual’s location to within a range of 5 miles or less.

Search Syndication Contract, Upstream Provider, Downstream Provider:

The term “search syndication contract” means a contract or subcontract for the sale of, license of, or other right to access an index of web pages or search results on the internet for the purpose of operating an internet search engine.

The term “upstream provider” means, with respect to a search syndication contract, the person that grants access to an index of web pages or search results on the internet to a downstream provider pursuant to the contract.

The term “downstream provider” means, with respect to a search syndication contract, the person that receives access to an index of web pages on the internet from an upstream provider under such contract.

User Specific Data: The term “user-specific data” means information relating to an individual or a specific connected device that would not necessarily be true of every individual or device.

Requirement to Allow Users to View Unaltered Content on Internet Platforms: Beginning on the date that is 1 year after the date of enactment of this Act, it shall be illegal:

For any person to operate a covered internet platform that uses an opaque algorithm unless the person complies with the opaque algorithm requirements.

For any upstream provider to grant access to an index of web pages on the internet under a search syndication contract that does not comply with the requirements of paragraph (3).

Opaque Algorithm Requirements: The requirements of this paragraph with respect to a person that operates a covered internet platform that uses an opaque algorithm are the following:

The person provides notice to users of the platform:

That the platform uses an opaque algorithm that uses user-specific data to select the content the user sees. Such notice shall be presented in a clear, conspicuous manner on the platform whenever the user interacts with an opaque algorithm for the first time and may be a one-time notice that can be dismissed by the user.

In the terms and conditions of the covered internet platform, in a clear, accessible, and easily comprehensible manner to be updated no less frequently than once every 6 months:

The most salient features, inputs, and parameters used by the algorithm.

How any user-specific data used by the algorithm is collected or inferred about a user of the platform, and the categories of such data.

Any options that the covered internet platform makes available for a user of the platform to opt out or exercise options under clause (ii), modify the profile of the user or to influence the features, inputs, or parameters used by the algorithm.

Any quantities, such as time spent using a product or specific measures of engagement or social interaction, that the algorithm is designed to optimize, as well as a general description of the relative importance of each quantity for such ranking.

The person makes available a version of the platform that uses an input-transparent algorithm and enables users to easily switch between the version of the platform that uses an opaque algorithm and the version of the platform that uses the input-transparent algorithm.

Exceptions for Certain Downstream Providers: Subparagraph (A) shall not apply with respect to an internet search engine if:

The search engine is operated by a downstream provider with fewer than 1,000 employees.

The search engine uses an index of web pages on the internet to which such provider received access under a search syndication contract.

Search Syndication Contract Requirements: The requirements of this paragraph with respect to a search syndication contract are that:

As part of the contract, the upstream provider makes available to the downstream provider the same input-transparent algorithm used by the upstream provider for purposes of complying with paragraph (2)(A)(ii).

The upstream provider does not impose any additional costs, degraded quality, reduced speed, or other constraint on the functioning of such algorithm when used by the downstream provider to operate an internet search engine relative to the performance of such algorithm when used by the upstream provider to operate an internet search engine.

Prohibition on Differential Pricing: A covered internet platform shall not deny, charge different prices or rates for, or condition the provision of a service or product to an individual based on the individual’s election to use a version of the platform that uses an input-transparent algorithm as provided under paragraph (2)(A)(ii).

Enforcement by FTC:

Unfair or Deceptive Acts or Practices: A violation of this section by an operator of a covered internet platform shall be treated as a violation of a rule defining an unfair or deceptive act or practice prescribed under section 18(a)(1)(B) of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 57a(a)(1)(B)).

Powers of Commision: Except as provided in subparagraph (C), the FTC shall enforce this section in the same manner, by the same means, and with the same jurisdiction, powers, and duties as though all applicable terms and provisions of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 41 et seq.) were incorporated into and made a part of this section.

Privileges and Immunities: Except as provided in subparagraph (C), any person who violates this Act shall be subject to the penalties and entitled to the privileges and immunities provided in the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 41 et seq.).

Common Carriers and Nonprofit Institutions: Notwithstanding section 4, 5(a)(2), or 6 of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 44, 45(a)(2), 46) or any jurisdictional limitation of the Commission, the Commission shall also enforce this act, in the same manner provided in subparagraphs (A) and (B) of this paragraph, with respect to:

Common carriers subject to the Communications Act of 1934 (47 U.S.C. 151 et seq.) and acts amendatory thereof and supplementary thereto

Organizations are not organized to carry on business for their own profit or that of their members.

Authority Preserved: Nothing in this section shall be construed to limit the authority of the Commission under any other provision of law.

Rule of Application: Section 11 shall not apply to this section.

Rule of Construction to Preserve Personal Blocks: Nothing in this section shall be construed to limit or prohibit a covered internet platform’s ability to, at the direction of an individual user or group of users, restrict another user from searching for, finding, accessing, or interacting with such user’s or group’s account, content, data, or online community.

Skipping over Section 14, as it is incredibly short (don’t worry, it’s one line, and I’ll say it at the end), we arrive at Section 15, or “Rules of Construction and Other Matters”.

Relationships to Other Laws: Nothing in this Act shall be construed to:

Preempt section 444 of the General Education Provisions Act (20 U.S.C. 1232g (about 2.72 lb), commonly known as the “Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act of 1974”) or other Federal or State laws governing student privacy.

Preempt the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act of 1998 (15 U.S.C. 6501 et seq.) or any rule or regulation promulgated under such Act.

Authorize any action that would conflict with section 18(h) of the Federal Trade Commission Act (15 U.S.C. 57a(h)).

Fairly Implied on the Basis of Objective Circumstances: For purposes of enforcing this act, in making a determination as to whether covered platform has knowledge fairly implied on the basis of objective circumstances that a user is a minor, the FTC shall rely on competent and reliable empirical evidence, taking into account the totality of the circumstances, including consideration of whether the operator, using available technology, exercised reasonable care.

Protections for Privacy: Nothing in this act shall be construed to require:

The affirmative collection of any personal data with respect to the age of users that a covered platform is not already collecting in the normal course of business.

A covered platform to implement an age gating or age verification functionality.

Compliance: Nothing in this act shall be construed to restrict a covered platform's ability to:

Cooperate with law enforcement agencies regarding activity that the covered platform reasonably and in good faith believes may violate Federal, State, or local laws, rules, or regulations.

Comply with a civil, criminal, or regulatory inquiry or any investigation, subpoena, or summons by Federal, State, local, or other government authorities.

Investigate, establish, exercise, respond to, or defend against legal claims.

Application to Video Streaming Services: A video streaming service shall be deemed to be in compliance with this act if it predominantly consists of news, sports, entertainment, or other video programming content that is preselected by the provider and not user-generated, and:

Any chat, comment, or interactive functionality is provided incidental to, directly related to, or dependent on provision of such content.

If such video streaming service requires account owner registration and is not predominantly news or sports, the service includes the capability:

To limit a minor’s access to the service, which may utilize a system of age-rating.

To limit the automatic playing of on-demand content selected by a personalized recommendation system for an individual that the service knows is a minor.

To provide an individual that the service knows is a minor with readily-accessible and easy-to-use options to delete an account held by the minor and delete any personal data collected from the minor on the service, or, in the case of a service that allows a parent to create a profile for a minor, to allow a parent to delete the minor’s profile, and to delete any personal data collected from the minor on the service.

For a parent to manage a minor’s privacy and account settings, and restrict purchases and financial transactions by a minor, where applicable.

To provide an electronic point of contact specific to matters described in this paragraph.

To offer clear, conspicuous, and easy-to-understand notice of its policies and practices with respect to personal data and the capabilities described in this paragraph.

When providing on-demand content, to employ measures that safeguard against serving advertising for narcotic drugs (as defined in section 102 of the Controlled Substances Act (21 U.S.C. 802)), tobacco products, gambling, or alcohol directly to the account or profile of an individual that the service knows is a minor.

And finally, we arrive at Section 16, the last Section, combined with Section 14, which I glossed over earlier. If any part of this act is deemed obsolete, ineffective, or unnecessary at any point in time, it may be removed from the act without any effect to the rest of it. Unless otherwise specified, all regulations in this act shall come into effect 18 months (about 1 and a half years) after the passing of this bill.

As you can see, this bill makes an impressive amount of sense, and if it were simply used as intended, it would be wonderful. However, because we can never have nice things, legislators, politicians, and the common public have twisted this bill, warping it to serve their selfish desires. Firstly, Senator Blackburn, one of the people behind this whole thing, blatantly said to a camera that she was going to “use KOSA to protect kids from the transgender in this culture.” With the queer community already under fire from all sides, this is the last thing they need, as all it does is further demonize them, and paint them as evil, pedophilic freaks to be feared and hated. A lot of regulations outlined in this bill also provide a concerning amount of control over the children it claims to protect, and it isn’t giving it to the child. It’s giving it to their parents. The adults who, as much as we hate to admit it, don’t always have the best interests of their children at heart. And what’s more, now the conservative Republicans care about people with disabilities, but it’s only when they’re trying to push a different marginalized group off the net. However, as soon as we try to do something as simple as mandating wheelchair ramps for all government buildings, they say “we don’t have the money for that!”. Okay, since obviously you don’t understand basic common sense Mr. Conservative, let me explain this for you: let’s say that KOSA will be fully enforced on every single website out of the over 1 BILLION that currently exist. Let’s say that about half of those comply fully willingly with KOSA, just for the benefit of the doubt. That still lives 500 million noncompliant websites. Let’s say that with legal proceedings and other costs, it would cost 500 dollars in USD per website to bring those websites into compliance. It would cost 250 BILLION dollars in USD to bring 500 million websites into compliance. Now let’s do some math on the wheelchair ramp problem, I’ll use small businesses as an example, since that’s the main subject of complaints on this topic. There are 33,185,550 small businesses registered in the United States. With the average cost per linear foot of concrete ramp being 225 dollars in USD, and saying that every small business has 2 doors that need ramps that are 1 linear foot, that means that every small business would have to pay 450 dollars in USD to make their businesses accessible. Every 3-5 years, you’ll want to reseal that concrete, costing about 3-5 dollars in USD per square foot. That means that a one time expense of 450 dollars to build the original ramps (on average, grossly oversimplified, but you get it), with an recurring cost every 3-5 years of a mere 6-10 dollars in USD. It would cost 4e-9% of what it would cost to enforce KOSA to make every registered small business in the US accessible. That is less than 1% of the money it would cost to enforce KOSA.

This bill would also enforce a strict “no horny” policy on damn near every website that you can think of. And as much as we like to demonize and vilify them, sex workers, porn actors, and hentai artists are people too, and some of them make a living off what they do. By enacting KOSA, you are driving the lives of more than 2 million people (about the population of Nebraska) into the dirt. KOSA places the value of a child’s innocence over those lives. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely against child pornography and exposing small children to porn, but we shouldn’t lock down everyone's access to explicit content to preserve 22.1% of the US population’s childlike innocence. KOSA also can lock those children into abusive and dangerous conditions and make the lives of orphans a living hell. By giving the parents of minors total control over their child’s account, you are allowing them to lock down their lives, and expose these children to, at best, harmful misinformation, extremism, and general naivety, and at worst, physical abuse and/or death. That’s another 600,000 lives ground into the dirt under the boot of “safety”. And that little bit about “parens patrie”? That basically means that if you can’t defend yourself (i.e. are homeless, an orphan, etc.), the government is your parent now. Growing up with a faceless, nameless entity in place of any parental figure is NOT a healthy way for a child to live. Again, that’s another 2,823,104 human beings crushed by KOSA. In total, out of just the three categories of people I listed here, over 4,883,104 human beings, with lives, emotions, thoughts, joys and pains, are being royally screwed over by this absolutely horrid bill.

We as a society are better than this. Come on people. What memo did I miss that decided that we only need equality for some people? Instead of bickering amongst ourselves like children, we should work together and solve our problems! Isn’t that what we all want!? But no, instead we fight over our inviolable rights as human beings like toddlers over a shovel in the sandbox, instead of behaving like civilized people. And what’s worse, it paints anyone who doesn’t fit the perfect ideal of an American citizen in shades of evil, demonizing and alienating them even more than they already are. What the hell are we doing here? Instead of waving our bureaucracy around, we should get off the chair and do something about it. How many times have we done something without taking a risk? That’s right, NEVER.

If we claim to be champions of equality, yet only desire it for ourselves, we are just as bad as those whose actions we decry. So please, dear reader, I beg of you. Stop KOSA, stop censorship, stop tyranny if you value this world at all.

#fuck kosa #stop kosa #kosa #abuse #danger #politics #American politics

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