#yes because they live in a society and yet we see them trying their best

[germiyahu]

I also don't like the assertion that Jews are trying to conflate "criticism of Israel with antisemitism/the Israeli state with Jewishness as a whole" because you... YOU... did that first and you do it more easily than you breathe.

You interrogate every complaint of antisemitism, just to make sure it's not actually whining about someone being mean to Israel. You investigate the person's social media history to make sure they're not a Zionist. You turn around and act so enlightened and wise when you say "Right because Netanyahu wants Jewish people to think criticism of Israel is antisemitic, and he wants Jewish people to think that they have to have ties to Israel and that Israel is the only place they'll feel safe, that plays right into his hands," like you're doing this for Jewish people's benefit. Like you're not one of the people making Jews feel unsafe.

The fact of the matter is that Israel is intrinsically Jewish. By design yes. But also for the fact that it's just logically true? Most Israelis are Jewish. Most Diaspora Jews have friends and family in Israel. It's not a function of flags or national anthems. It's a function of people. Saying "Well conflating Israel with the idea of Jewishness is antisemitic," changes nothing about that. It's words with no value. It's empty air. Because what have you done to advocate for Diaspora Jewry and make them feel like they're not subordinate to Israel? What have you done to assure them that your disdain for a country that most of them have personal familial and cultural ties to is not motivated by bigotry? What have you done to include them and center their safety when advocating against Israel's policies?

Yes, the more people are antisemitic and weird about Israel to Diaspora Jews' faces, the more of them will gravitate closer to Israel. But that's not the point. The point is that if your criticisms of Israel were normal, we wouldn't have a problem. 99% of Diaspora Jews would join you. But you tell them they're not allowed to defend Israel in any context and they're not allowed to defend themselves when your "criticism" of Israel harms them. You don't want to admit that these can overlap. You just want them to silently add a rubber stamp of approval of whatever you say or they can leave.

It's clear you don't see Jews as a marginalized group. This is not how Leftists treat marginalized groups. This is how they treat the oppressor group, the dominant group. Diaspora Jews are at best an ally to Palestinian liberation. Because you don't see them as different from Israelis, you see them as the group that benefits from the oppression of Palestinians, not as a group that has nothing to do with Palestine and is historically and contemporarily marginalized by Western society, the society you live in.

And yet for all you conflate Diaspora and Israeli Jews you clearly want to keep Israel and the Diaspora divided, isolated from each other. They can't show solidarity with one another because that's (((ZIONIST COLLUSION))) and confirmation of a media controlled conspiracy or something. You want Diaspora Jews under your thumb and you want Israeli Jews dead. You're not as subtle as you think you are.

#antisemitism #leftist antisemitism #israel #palestine

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Let's talk about... Mhok's Fart Proudly t-shirt

Let's be honest here, this IS a ridiculous shirt. But it is just so Director Aof to put one of his characters in such a ridiculous shirt during a poignant scene.

This is Baseball Mom 2.0

And I say that not only because it's ridiculous but because, just like Baseball Mom, it also has a deeper meaning connected to the narrative - as is Aof's style - and it's what I adore about his work, that he puts so much attention to detail into the characters' wardrobe.

But on to the shirt.

If we can get past the loudness of the "FART PROUDLY" we can see the rest of the text reads approximately as thus:

I believe a fart is a healthy, natural thing - and is nothing to be embarrassed about. I have pledged myself to changing society's attitude towards farts by showing that I am not afraid to release my farts freely - wherever, whenever - and without shame.

And yes, it's about farts BUT the underlying messages here are the parts I have highlighted.

Throughout ep 2, Mhok tries to encourage Day to get out of his room, to "open his eyes" to things, to remind him the rest of his body still 'works' ("Your hands are available" / "You can still hear"), to try things before dismissing them. He learns that Day is scared of how he is perceived by others and tells Aon there's nothing to be embarrassed about. He asks Day why he cares what people think...all the while knowing to some capacity what it's like to to be judged on face-value. And Mhok is able to let that judgement roll off him, it seems he's able to meet his challenges without shame.

After Mhok gets fired, he uses this confidence to spend time in the market blindfolded. He's not afraid to feel uncomfortable and vulnerable in order to understand Day and what he's experiencing. He proudly endeavours to navigate through the space and to eat without his sight regardless of what others may think of him. He feels the fear, but does it anyway. He has no qualms about doing more than necessary - after all he could have just walked away and not thought about Day again. But, as the wardrobe choices tell us as well, the best never rest. And Mhok is one of the best.

Day used to be "a guy with confidence", and Mhok is trying to give that back to him. The t-shirt also asks "Can I count on you, now, to stand behind me?" which, in the context of the farting, could be 'are you willing to endure my farts?' or 'will you join me in farting freely', but with Mhok and Day it's 'are you with me? Can you be brave enough to not be embarrassed? To say fuck it and live your life regardless of others?' and/or 'will you let me help and protect you?'.

Mhok cares a lot. Not about what others think of him - he had no hesitation to get naked and let people watch when Day asked ('do this and I'll forgive you' -> 'how brave are you? how brave can you be for me?') - but about Day and the other people in his life. And Day is also starting to care - he not only left his house to see Mhok but agreed to let a relative stranger take him to a very crowded and, having been shut in his room for a year, what must have been a very scary place. Which makes Day's t-shit in this scene equally fitting. "Capacity Intensive Care".

It may be small now - their care and affection for each other - but it will soon grow, even if they don't see it yet. But they'll both be getting "more care, more often, right where [they] live".

#last twilight #last twilight series #*shakes fist at aof* #look what you've made me do! #I'm back to analysing t-shirts slogans #but I will defend them all to my last breath #yes they're ridiculous but they are also RIDICULOUSLY BRILLIANT #I can't wait for more of them #edited to change a typo

[dancermk]

HELLO MY FELLOW TRAVELERS!

I, like many viewers, have been completely entranced by Hawk and Tim’s love story in Fellow Travelers. As a mature queer person, this show has been very emotional, and I am deeply invested. (I WILL riot if Tim doesn’t get to die in Hawk’s arms, and know that he is, and has always been, loved by Hawk.) But I digress.

Something that I have been fascinated by are the differing opinions that have surfaced about the characters, especially Hawk. I’m not looking for any arguments here, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and this is simply mine. To me, Hawk falls hard and fast for Tim. He breaks all his own rules for Tim - they topple over like a house of cards.

When we are introduced to Hawk, he’s cold and heartless with the men he hooks up with - they are nothing more than a body to fulfil his sexual needs and desires. He doesn’t do repeats and he doesn’t bring them home. But Tim, he instantly begins returning to, gets him a job, then allows him into his own apartment, etc. When Tim pushes back, Hawk relents further, letting him in emotionally, sharing parts of his past, crossing lines by introducing him to others in his circle, and so on.

Hawk is a traumatised man, carrying guilt and anger and shame, and a bucket load of fear! Yes, he has some internalised homophobia, but interestingly, he’s also extremely righteous about his homosexuality -and I don’t believe he thinks being gay is wrong in any way. (His response to his father is indicative of this).

I can personally say that I’ve never thought it was wrong to be queer, yet I spent much of my life hiding who I was and feeling shame. It’s an odd thing! Perhaps it is that the shame forms purely from what is outside of us, while what is inside of us can love another person of the same sex, knowing it is right and pure. Perhaps these contradictions between self and society are what causes so much pain and conflict?

But back to Hawk. Hawk is undoubtedly most affected by his teenage first love experience. A love that he fucked up through his own fears (fear for many men is unacceptable and a sign of weakness), and now carries the burden of believing he is responsible for their death. Hawk doesn’t allow himself to love again, until Tim. And we see many times throughout the show how much Hawk fears losing Tim. And in the end he’ll have to face that fear. I think that, in part, not attempting to have a life with Tim, is also fuelled by his fear of fucking it up and losing Tim - so it’s easier to just not attempt it! In episode 7, when he loses his son, part of that spiral is Hawk recognising that he can’t really prevent loss, and he wasted his life trying to be something he’s not - still losing his child and Tim along with it.

But Hawk is a survivor! And no one has the right to hate or judge him for it. I don’t think some young people truly understand what it feels like to live in a world where who you love can put you in jail, and destroy your life. I grew up in the 70s/80s and my experiences were bad enough, but I try so very hard to think about what it was like before that! When being queer was a crime and a mental illness! That’s pure terror! And for Hawk, he chose to survive the best way he knew how, and he wasn’t able to change because that’s fucking hard when all you’ve known is living in constant ‘fight or flight,’ and when have chronic trauma and experience collective trauma.

I think in episode 8 we’ll finally get to see Hawk grow - I certainly hope so - because he deserves to be free. Our beautiful Skippy has been free for some time, and while we mourn for the cruelty of a world that would take such a truly decent man, I am glad he got to live freely. Being closeted is the worst kind of suffering- a compartmentalised and fragmented existence where you are never truly whole, and therefore can never be the best version of yourself.

Before I go, I just wanted to also talk about being in a closeted relationship-which I experienced in my youth. I think that Hawk and Tim’s intense and toxic and exquisitely beautiful relationship, in part, arises from this. Because two closeted people in love live their relationship in secret, in a bubble, only in certain rooms, with none of the outside world reflected back at them. It becomes the two of you against the world. It’s so insular. Hawk and Tim literally live their 1950s relationship within two rooms - their apartments. All their memories are held within those walls. And it only belongs to them. They know each in ways that no other living soul does. It’s all-consuming and often unhealthy, but also stupidly romantic.

Anyway, sorry for this long winded post that no one will read and is likely full of grammatical errors because I’m tired! This atheist is praying we get everything we need from episode 8! Acceptance, forgiveness, understanding resolution, healing and a whole lot of love! ❤️

Cheers queers! 🏳️‍🌈

PS Matt and Johnny are exquisite on and off screen and I am so thankful to them for bringing these characters and this story into our lives!

#fellow travelers #hawk and tim #hawkins fuller #tim laughlin #hawk and skippy #matt bomer #jonathan bailey #lgbtqia #queer media

[jellycrusher]

Wolves and Lambs: Part 4

Alpha Max Verstappen x Omega fem!driver

Genre: Series, Omega verse, Enemies to Lovers, Romance, Eventual smut

Summary: Male Alphas are the ones who dominate motor sports all around the world, especially Formula 1. It is a well known fact. Females in general nor Female Omegas are never heard nor encouraged to join the sport since the 1950s. Well, up until now...

Word Count: 5.8k

Chapter's Premise: y/n finds herself trying to come to terms on who she is and how she avoided her heat for so long.

Parts: W&L masterlist / general masterlist

"You heard the doctor. You have to stop taking your suppressants for a while." Megan takes the prescription sheet from your hands and shoves it in her bag.

Both of you just came out from the doctor's office. Megan was meticulous in giving you a disguise just in case anyone is going to spot you. You put your head down and hide in your little canopy of protection, your Aston Martin hat. A bit obvious but it's the only one you have at the moment.

"I can't. If it comes during a race weekend, I'm dead." You reply as you walk side by side with Megan, confined by the hospital walls.

"Ay Dios Mio. Your constant intake of suppressants may be the reason why you haven't had your first heat yet at 25 years old. We don't know if there's gonna be negative side effects on your health." Megan tries her best to whisper under her breath.

"Hey, that's not proven." You halt in your steps and turn to her, lifting your head up to face her.

"But the doc says it may be a factor. You can't keep it hidden forever. It has to come sooner or later. If it comes biting your ass, don't come running to me for help."

"I don't want to be confined on what biology or society dictates me to be. I want to prove to everyone first what I can do and who I am." You continue to walk.

"I understand. I just don't want something bad to happen to you." She groaned.

"Fine. If I win a race, then i'll start tapering my dosage. I'll let it come when it wants to come."

"When you win a podium, not a race. Better odds."

"Fine. A podium."

You felt like you've been basking in the sun, warm against your skin. You didn't want to look at yourself. For every second after that encounter in the elevator until now that you've stayed frozen behind the door of your room, everything was silent.

Your body was fighting your mind. You didn't want this. For so many years, your family and friends, who knew what you really are, told you that we're all bound to meet our mate. We'll know when we meet them.

No. You don't want to. Maybe just not right now. Yes, it's romantic to see couples who are mated and are having the time of their lives. But what if they fell for another person before they met their mate? And what if they refuse their Alpha? What would happen?

Right now, you just want to succeed in this career first. Call yourself stupid for going against your biological desires but there's a lot riding on this. Your parents sacrificed a lot just to get where you are right now. You want to prove that Omegas can also achieve greatness. Female Omegas can also stand in the halls of the greats.

Maybe you're just stubborn. Meeting your mate wouldn't be the end of the world. If you give in, you won't lose anything. Maybe.

Maybe you're just overthinking. Maybe you're being too stubborn.

Max is not a bad person. You've said it yourself before. He is actually a decent guy. Well, just from your text messages but there were no deep conversations yet. You don't love him to see him as your mate. You might learn to love him but it doesn't feel right for your feelings to be swayed just because your biological desires him so.

You barely slept a wink last night. The inkling that bothered you for a few weeks now since the first race have just been confirmed, and the fact that Max left you a lot of messages that you haven't read yet made your mind in a state of disarray.

Megan barged in your room to wake you up. She even had to throw the covers off the bed and furiously opened the curtains, blinding you with the beaming sun. You groan hard as she pulls you out of the comfort of your bed.

"I can't believe this. We're late! Ay Santo Dios..." Megan continued to mention a lot of words that you were not familiar with as she looks at your commitments for the day from her phone screen.

It only took a few moments and the both of you are now on your merry way to the circuit with you being the driver. Megan was still very furious at you for you haven't given her a reason for your tardiness. At the same time, your phone was still blowing up from Max's messages.

"I've had it with your ringtone. I'll set it to silent." Megan pulls your phone from the center console and sees '50 messages' beside the name 'He Who Must Be Avoided At All Times' on the screen.

"It's fine, leave it." You're barely able to look at Megan because you had to focus on the road.

"Who's this? Is there a guy bothering you? Stalking you?!" she asks.

"No. Just leave it." With eyes still glued to the road, you try to yank the phone off her hands.

"Tell me. Is it a stalker?! 'Cause if it is, i'll kill him." She warned.

"Please no. Relax, it's not a stalker." You assured in a calm tone as she hands the phone to you.

"Y/N. If you're in a dangerous situation and you're not telling me, your mom will kill me." She appealed.

Well, that's not impossible. These two are overprotective.

"Megan..." You paused. Megan patiently waits for your answer as you drum your fingers anxiously on the wheel. "It's Max."

"Oh, Max... Wait, who's Max? from Red Bull?" Megan rambles. "Why? Did he do anything to you?"

"He did nothing. It's just.. He found out last night that I was an Omega. I've been avoiding his texts since then." You confessed, tightening your grip on the wheel.

"How? You were always careful."

"That's the thing. I was. I'm still on my suppressants." You gently scratch the surface of the wheel. "Remember when you told me how you met your husband? Your mate?"

"Yes." Megan now replied slowly, now under a notion at where the conversation is going. "Oh my god! Is he..?"

"I think so." you confessed.

Megan was about to shriek from joy but she stopped for she knew how you would respond. For her, it sounds romantic. For you, it's not. She can't count how many times your rejected the idea of having a biological mate. It wasn't against the law of anybody to love somebody else aside your fated mate but for your body to act against your will regardless of what you feel. That's what you dislike about it.

"I still have to talk to him about it. I can't have him blabbering to everyone on the grid." You added. "Let's take this one step at a time."

"You still have a race later. Better focus on that first." She replies as she takes off her seatbelt when you arrived at the car park in the circuit.

Megan hauled you to the team hospitality to prepare you for the drivers' briefing. When you arrived at the briefing hall, majority of the drivers were already seated and the team principals were standing around in a circle, chatting. You stood by the door looking for an empty seat to take when you saw Charles, Oscar, and Lando calling you to take the seat they reserved for you on the third row. Your feet took a few steps when a hand suddenly but gently caught your wrist.

"We need to talk. You've been ignoring my texts." Max urged, eyes dead straight at you.

"Max, not here. Later." You scan the room for any eyes or ears that might eavesdrop as you carefully remove his hand from you.

Max takes a second to compose himself then tugs his hand through his hair. "Fine. Sit with me then."

"I'll choose my own seat. Thank you." You replied as you walk away from him, not giving him enough time to add more. Max's hand hovered uncertainly as if to stop you but he lets his hand limp

You strut farther into the hall and the three men gave you space to stride along the third row to take your seat between Charles and Oscar. Max took an empty seat on the first row beside Checo. He can't help but steal some glances in your direction during the driver's briefing.

It was hard to ignore Max as well. One good thing that your incident with Max has caused is that his scent doesn't make you cower in fear anymore. Knowing the reason why the dynamics between the two of you had changed, you mentally slap your pheromone-disturbed self from inhaling his lingering scent.

His scent wasn't really distinct before. For you, it was associated with fear or something menacing, but now he smelled so crisp like Cotton and sweet like baked Tangerine. Being that close to each other gave you a chance to actually distinguish his scent. Just remembering Max's small sniffs on your neck makes your body squirm, in a good way. It was nice and comforting. But it also felt sensual.

Alpha smells so good. Let's smell him once more. You mentally slap yourself once more, shaking off the tiny voice from your inner Omega in your head.

"I heard from Lance that you're moving. Where will you stay?" Charles' voice took you out from your trance just as the drivers' briefing just ended.

"In Monaco. It being a tax-free haven sounds enticing." you replied in glee knowing that it was the Monegasque who asked you.

Noticing the other younger drivers to turn to you after hearing your response, it took a moment for you to remember that a number of them were living there.

Lando perks up, legs bouncing. He leans forward and peeked his head across Oscar. "Do you know how to play Padel?" you shake your head. "We'll teach you. We had been waiting for another member to join our little club."

"He just wants to have the bragging right when he defeats all of us." Oscar chuckled, arms crossed on his chest.

"He even almost made Max cry. Have some mercy on all of us, will you?" Charles adds, further teasing Lando.

"I'll tell you when I've settled in. Maybe a housewarming lunch or dinner sounds good?" You ask. Lando quickly taps Alex's shoulder to tell him about your new residence and a possibility of a new member for their F1 drivers-exclusive Padel Club.

"I'm going to tour you to some of the best places. You still owe me a car ride." Charles couldn't help but smile at you, already making up a list in his mind.

When the briefing ended, all of the drivers went their own way back to their hospitalities. At the corner of your eyes, you saw Max hurriedly stood up from his seat on the first row and was about to make his way towards you. He noticed the miniscule squirm your body did when your eyes met. You almost panic in your seat but he came to an abrupt stop when he saw Megan pull you away.

Max tried his best to look for a chance to talk to you, much to his dismay. There wasn't much time for each of the drivers to get to interact with each other, especially during race day. After some of his media commitments in the morning were done, he went to visit the Aston Martin hospitality. He comes up to the small ledge when he saw Lance chatting with some of the staff.

"Hey Lance." Lance gets up from his seat when he noticed Max and greets him with a one-armed hug and a double backslap. "Have you seen y/n?"

"I think Sky Sports has her for an interview, I think. You know, the usual." Lance replies as he sits down. Max groans go unnoticed.

"Do you know when she might be free? I need to talk to her." Max asks as he leans his hand on the ledge.

"Maybe after the race? Her schedule's so full today. Haven't even seen her stay here in the hospitality for more than 15 minutes. Megan even got her shooting a lot of content for our Tiktok account."

"Megan?" Max quirks up his eyebrow.

"Speaking of..." Lance chimed in as he spots Megan behind Max, about to walk inside. "Megan!" She stops and turns to Lance's direction. "He's looking for y/n." He points at Max and Megan's eyes follow.

Megan thought differently when she saw Max right there, comfortably leaning on the ledge. It was in her overprotective instinct to assume that Max might possibly be a snitch or asking anyone in the team regarding what you are. She walks up to Max and asked him to come with her, already walking away without waiting for a response. Max was confused at first but did not hesitate to follow behind.

Max and Megan comes to a halt in an empty corner in the paddock, away from prying eyes.

"What are you doing?" Megan snaps around and narrows her eyes at him, arms crossed on her chest.

"I was just asking for y/n." Max innocently confessed.

"Were you going to tell on her? I can't believe you." She leans forward as if interrogating the driver.

Max leans back, baffled by the sudden change in demeanor. "No. Of course not... Wait, you know?" He tries to whisper.

She tries to examine his face for a minute for any sign of a lie but relaxes when she felt that he was telling the truth. "Listen, Max. I know she's been avoiding you but I need her to be at her best today. She needs to be on that podium."

"Don't we all?" Max scoffs.

"No, you don't understand. I need her to be on the podium because her health is on the line. I've let her be stubborn for too long 'cause she's in love with racing too much but I finally had her to agree, at last. I don't know what's going on between the two of you but please don't distract her too much today." She pleads with a serious tone.

Max hated knowing that it wasn't his place to pry. All he wanted from you was answers but it seems that even more questions are piling up. What does she mean? Your health is on the line? Are you sick? Are you injured? How is it connected to you getting that podium?

His inner Alpha was trying to fight himself.

Our omega... She's hurt or sick. Ask for more information. No, we're clearly told to stay put. She's not ours. Isn't it clear that she's avoiding us? Than ask her directly. Let's smell her again. No. Just shut up. Stay.

"Understood?" Megan asserts herself, taking Max out of his trance.

"Yes ma'am."

Megan waited for a bit to see how Max would take their conversation but left quickly when she saw that people are now starting to crowd the paddock. Max stayed in that quiet corner for a few seconds before going out into the paddock. There he saw you, sitting just outside your team's hospitality with Alonso and surrounded by a few cameras and staff. Probably completing a challenge with your teammate. His eyes locked onto you, taking in your smile. It was invigorating for him to see you having fun.

He used to feel so foreign around you. When he sees you having fun with his friends, it irritated him. His face used to turn sour when Lando or Alex hype you up.

There was something about you that intrigues him. You weren't able to race with most of them back then. Charles was a bit familiar with you because you got to race alongside his brother. Oscar and Logan had only met you once or twice and they had raced with you in a few Grand Prix but usually a lot of drivers keep to themselves and stayed in their own garages.

Then there's the big elephant in the room. You were an Omega, no doubt. After the incident in the elevator, he did scour the internet after his haze faded when he got back in his room. There were only articles about you stating that you were an Alpha, your achievements in F2 and F3, and also the highlights of your racing career. No scandals, not much haters. There were no articles claiming you have a bad beef with any driver.

For a public personality, you kept pretty quiet. Maybe that's why no one has discovered your secret yet. But that would be an extreme feat. To conceal your identity. What about heats? The horrendous and taxing schedule of Formula 1 isn't really ideal for Omegas. He recalled when Lando had to deal with Oscar's heat every month. When they were still unmated, Lando had to tiptoe around Oscar and avoid him when his pheromones were on the highest setting. How the other drivers reacted to him when it came around race weekend. It took them at least 5 months to come to the truth that they needed each other.

It was a bit easier for Oscar because everyone knows that he is an Omega since the start. They knew they had to avoid him when Lando or Oscar gave them a heads up. It scares him thinking that it will be much harder for you but it was also amazing how good you hide it.

Questions for another day, he admits to himself.

You were having a blast going against Nando in a PR competition when you spot Max walking through the paddock. Your eyes met and it made you nervous that he might come up and wait for you but no, he avoided your eyes and continued to walk. Your eyes followed his figure, relieved but also worried. Fernando had to call your attention to continue the challenge.

Your PR and media commitments were finally done and then, there was the driver's parade. The crowds in the grandstands were almost full and it was deafening. Everyone was screaming each of the drivers' names when they were called and when it was your turn to be introduced, it was heartwarming to hear their warm welcome. A smile so wide painted your face as you greet the driver while stepping in the convertible car and sat on the surface of the rear end near the deck lid.

You waited for your car's cue to go but you see it got delayed. There were a slight commotion amongst the staff that were on standby on the track and they were pointing to something behind you. You turn around and they were checking the car behind yours that was supposed to be for Max. Apparently, the engine of his parade car won't start again.

Fernando's car already left way before you and also Checo's. The staff are now pointing at yours and you see that the people who were talking to Max assisted him to get off the car. They were ushering him to your direction. Someone slapped Max's car number onto the side of your convertible. You now realize that they're letting you and Max share a car so that this problem won't delay the program.

The car shook slightly as Max climbs up the convertible. Max sees you scooting to one side trying to avoid his eyes so he quietly sat down on the other side of the convertible's rear. Both of you started to wave to the crowd as the engine of the convertible purred. Max would steal a few glances when you're not looking. Your body was stiff and awkward, in contrast to what you were showing the crowd, smiling and waving.

"Relax. It's not like I bite." Max spoke up just loud enough for you to hear under all those noise. "Just concentrate on the race later or else, you'll be an easy target for these guys."

You snap your head around and glared at him. He had this smug smile while still waving. "They wish." You scoff.

With just a few words from him, you find your shoulders loosening up. Slightly offended by his insinuation but you knew that he was just riling you up. It was also surprising that Max didn't bother to disturb you since the briefing. You would be at shoulder's length but still, he'd just nod when your eyes met.

The drivers' parade ended quickly and every driver headed for their respective garages to prepare. You spent the remaining time training with your physio and getting enough rest. The last program was for the national anthem. You make your way onto the track and answered a few questions for a Sky Sports presenter who was roaming and interviewing some of the drivers. You stood behind a grid kid to take your place and kept quiet. Right before the anthem was played, you noticed the female grid kid trying to steal a look at you. You smile back at her and she quietly squealed as she swiftly face in front. When the anthem finished playing and as you follow the other drivers exiting the track, your grid kid raised her hand to request for a high five. You gladly pressed your palm on hers and the other grid kids also eagerly raised their hand as you pass by them, catching the attention of the other drivers and the cameras.

You find yourself gritting your teeth and hands clenching the wheel as you drive the car in your grid position at the track during the formation lap. You look up at the red lights above.

"It's lights out and away we go, here at the Jeddah Corniche Circuit! and it's Max Verstappen who takes the lead of the Saudi Arabian Grand Prix."

With a good reaction time, you were able to overtake three places from 15th. You were able to fend for your position well in those crucial first few laps of the race. You attacked, you defended, you attacked, you defended. It was a constant cycle.

Max, who had started in pole position, lost the lead to Charles on the third sector in the second lap, won it back by the fourth lap and slowly and methodically pulled away for his second win of the season.

It took you only eight laps to move into 10th place, and only eight more to rise to sixth. By the halfway point of the race, and helped by the fortuitous arrival of a safety car that allowed you to make up even more ground, you find yourself in fourth.

"Y/n had played down her chances of victory from the moment a broken drive shaft ended her qualifying early Saturday and left her in 15th place. But that did not mean she had any intention of staying in the back of the field. Look at her picking her way through the pack behind her with ease"

Your driving style was aggressive and clever, a total beast on the offence. The journalists have also made note of your tyre preservation prowess. They have published a few articles after the first race mentioning that with your pairing with Alonso this year, Aston Martin can gain considerable confidence that it will be regularly able to take on the red cars and the black ones fielded by Mercedes too.

At around lap 46, Ben informs you through the radio that Lewis who is in P3 at the moment incurred a 5 second penalty. With Charles on P2 just 2 seconds ahead of Lewis and you tailing behind just a second away, there might be a chance for you to end up on the podium at the end of this race. You just have to maintain the gap behind Lewis and also for Lewis to continue battling with Charles.

Ben: "So, one more lap y/n, just bring it home." Y/N: "Think something happened to my left tyre." Ben: "Ok, copy. So Sainz, 30 seconds behind, battling with Russell."

You peek at your front left tyre and it was starting to wobble. You may have hit something on the track, possibly puncturing the tyre.

Ben: "If you go Diff-Mid 12, Sainz 20 seconds and gap to Lewis is 2 seconds." Ben: "Now 17 seconds. Now 16 seconds."

The car was already slowing down and the left tyre was tumbling around on its rim. Ben was constantly updating you but you did not bother to respond.

Ben: "So use Strat 5. 10 seconds to Sainz and 3 seconds from Lewis." Ben: "7 seconds to Sainz. 6 seconds to Sainz." Ben: "Maintain this gap to Lewis. 4 seconds."

You've passed the last corner and about to go on the straight where the chequered flag should be when you saw Sainz closely tailing behind you. With your feet instinctively pushing flat out, your car zoomed past and hopefully closing the gap with Lewis in less than 5 seconds for P3 position.

Y/N: "Do we have it?! TELL ME BEN, DO WE HAVE IT??" Ben: "That's it, y/n! You've done it, P3! YOU'VE DONE IT! Wow, you've done it y/n." Y/N: "Was there a flag? I did not see it." Ben: "There was a flag. You've done it though. Just stop. You can pull the car over. We'll come and get you." Y/N: "Fuck that was close! Sorry for the profanity." Ben: "Yeah, I was about to say the same thing. That was a close call. Too close for comfort. But awesome work, mate." Y/N: "LET'S GO!!!!! BEN, WE DID IT!!!"

Your team radio is now being broadcasted across all tv screens worldwide. As Max and the other drivers complete their slow lap around the track after they've crossed the line, they catch a glimpse of you in the screens. Throwing your hands in celebration, still inside the cockpit. When you got out of the car at the side of the track, you knelt down and pats the damaged tyre aggressively as if thanking the car.

You had to do your best as not to cry from overwhelming joy. You felt like you won the race for P3 but you didn't. It was as if you were soaring through the clouds right then. The crowds at the grandstands were screaming your name, fireworks were setting off in the background. That was for Max, of course, but it couldn't hurt to imagine that it could be for you too.

You were picked up by a safety car and your car was towed to the parc ferme. When you got out of the car, Oscar jumped at the moment to wrap you in a hug, Lando following behind.

Warm and sincere congratulations, pats on the backs and helmet taps too, were sent over your way when you threw yourself to your team of mechanics and engineers who were waiting on the other side of the barricade. You took off your helmet and balaclava so you could properly breathe and to revel in the sounds of your victory.

You were the first one who had to do the post-race interview, followed by Charles in P2 and Max in P1. You couldn't contain your smile, choking on your words yet again.

"Y/n!" David Coulthard calls out your name in joy. "That was an amazing race. You had your maiden pole last race and now, your maiden F1 podium after just 2 races in this season. Could you tell me more?"

"With the information of Lewis' 5 second penalty, I had to give everything on the table. I've never had a race like that before. We tried to maintain the gap but also had to monitor Carlos behind as well. It was a team effort and I couldn't have done it without them."

"Your last lap had us trembling in our seats. You managed to bring home your car across the line in that state. How did you do it?" David asked with such enthusiasm.

"I don't know how I've managed to be cool in that period but I just... I had no choice. Survival instincts came over me and I've come all this way. I'm not gonna pull over and back off to let anyone drive pass. I was thinking 'How can I get there with taking as much risks as possible without losing the car altogether?'. I still can't believe I did it." You try to take a few deep breaths after you finished your interview, still reeling in from that feeling of accomplishment.

Max and Charles pats your back as the three of you walked towards the cooldown room. The huge screen showing the highlights of the race, including your tyre mishap and struggle to cross the finish line for P3. Charles hands you a water bottle and you took it, not peeling your eyes away from the screen. If you only had your phone, you would take a photo of the small pillar with a huge number 3 and a small screen playing your driver intro bit.

The three of you are now ushered to prepare for the podium ceremony. Your feet was quick to move after your name was called. The crowd roared with applause and cheers as you made your way up the podium. You stood patiently on your step as you hear Charles' and Max's name. Despite feeling a bit flushed due to the adrenaline from winning P3, your cheeks felt a bit cold as you place your hands on the side of your face.

Your race suit now wet from the champagne being sprayed amongst the podium placers. Charles and Max were having fun targeting you, spraying the champagne at your face. They both admired your blissful smile and eyes filled with euphoria.

"Champagne suits you. Congratulations y/n!" Max can't help but admit to himself that you were an excellent racer. Your expression softened when you heard him and it's like Max's heart skipped a beat.

"Thanks Max. Congratulations on winning!" As if the champagne rain slowed down, it was just you and Max. The stage lights made the champagne sparkle, trickling down on both of you. He never saw anyone be so ecstatic in getting P3 but you made celebrating look so beautiful and graceful.

You watched Max's face as he shared a smile with you but not a second later, you could clearly see the horror in his face as his body stiffen.

"Y/n, your nose." Charles cocks his head to the side of Max, inconspicuously pointing to his nose, prompting you to do the same. Your hand crept up to your face and it was met by a warm liquid oozing down your nose. When you swiped it off, you saw blood on your fingertips.

Max was quick to turn you around, shielding you from the cameras. You try to wipe your nose with your arm but the blood can't seem to stop.

"Are you okay? What's wrong? Do you want us to call the medics?" Max whispers in panic, still spraying the champagne at Charles and towards the crowd below as he shields you behind him. To the people below and in the crowd, it was as if you're just wiping the champagne off your face.

"Relax. It's just a nosebleed. This will pass." You whispered, still trying to wipe off the remaining blood. The sleeve of your green suit now tinted red. "What the heck, it's not stopping."

"Y/n, I think the cameramen are now noticing." Charles' eyes darted to the cameramen below and above.

"I've been a bit more anemic lately. I think that's why." You murmured.

"When Megan told me that your health is compromised, is this it?" Max leans to your side a bit, still facing front and waving to the crowd.

"You talked to her? What did she tell you?!" You glared at Max, surprising the two men.

"Y/n, Max, can you two talk about it later? We're still on the podium." Charles cleared his throat.

You slightly nudged Max away from you, not noticed by the crowd, while you pinch your nose and cover your face. Max can't help but stare in concern at your figure. His inner Alpha wanting to carry you and rush to medic's tent.

Then the ceremony ended.

"Y/n, come on. I haven't told him much, I promise. I just told him to leave you alone that day." Megan pleaded as she follows you while carrying a large box filled with your household items.

You open the door to let Megan in but you avoid her eyes. She darts across the empty unit, footsteps echoing along the walls, to place the box labeled 'Kitchen Items' down on the floor. You sighed, accepting defeat, as you drop the huge bag of items that you were carrying.

"Fine, but next time, stop telling him unnecessary information."

"Hey, your health was not an unnecessary information. I'm just glad you're fine now. I told you that your prolonged use of suppressants will eventually bite you in the ass." She rambled.

"Yes, yes. You gotta stop scolding me. It's been like a thousand times already." You groaned. "I got the podium and I'm on a suppressant detox. Happy?"

"Yes. I'm working on your schedule just in case it came early." Megan skips across the unit and stopped near the door. "I'll get the last box. You can stay here just in case the delivery company calls through the intercom." She exits the unit after you nod your head.

The empty huge apartment unit was now filled with unopened boxes. There were no furnitures yet but the anticipation of decorating your new home is making you excited. Wood and cured paint scent filled the air. It was relaxing for you but after a while, it's actually nauseating so you open the door to the balcony.

Coldness of the elegant granite greeted your arms as you lean against it. Your apartment is located in a spot overlooking the marina where you can spot plentiful yachts. With just a soft breeze, you could almost smell the sea. Even with your eyes closed, you could vividly visualize the city below you from its sound. The hustle and bustle of Monaco.

Closing your eyes for a few seconds made you yawn. You are still recovering from that horrific anemic bout during the podium ceremony in the Saudi Arabian Grand Prix. The team had to recommend you to a local hospital for a check up and was just given a prescription. You took a flight out the next day and went straight to "Moving Out" mode. It hasn't been two days since the race but here you are, renting a luxurious apartment in Monaco, about to live your best life.

"Looks like you could fit a head in your mouth." You heard a familiar warm voice coming from above your balcony. When you opened your eyes, there was someone peeking their head out of their balcony and looking down below at you, apparently still yawning. You closed your mouth in embarrassment.

"Max?!"

"Hi neighbor!"

Next part: Part 5

Taglist: @laura-naruto-fan1998 @fanboyluvr @giffywiffy3408 @notyouraveragemochii @cmleitora @exotic-iris13 @topguncultleader @mirrorball-6 @barcelonaloverf1life @silscintilla @aquangxl @whyamireadingthis @imaddict

#max verstappen x reader #max verstappen #mv1 #mv33 #f1 x female reader #f1 x female driver #f1 omegaverse #f1 enemies to lovers #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 x you #formula 1 #f1 romance #f1 drivers #f1 fanfic #f1 #f1 x reader #oscar piastri #charles leclerc x reader #op81 #cl16 #lando norris #ln4

[foone]

My one bit of advice I think every gamer should hear:

GO PLAY OUTER WILDS.

Seriously. It is easily one of my top 5 games of all time, and that's mainly because I'm being cagey about if it's the #1, because it probably is.

It's a game where you're a little alien who is taking their first flight into space, in their little spaceship. You go to space and find a mystery, and have to figure it out.

It's a game entirely about learning things about the world you're in: it's a tiny solar system modeled amazingly well, with varied planetary environments, archaeology, and quantum fun.

It's a game that's hard to talk about without spoiling, because it's about solving the mysteries. There used to be some other aliens here, they're long gone. What happened to them? Their whole society was built around trying to find something: what was it? Did they find it? And there's a weird disastrous event that keeps happening, why? Can you stop it? Should you stop it? Is it connected to the other weird things that keep happening? What happened to that ice planet that exploded with vines? One of the astronauts who came before you was the best pilot who ever lived, but they vanished. What happened to them? And why can you sometimes hear their harmonica over the radio when you point it at your own planet?

The game is wonderful and non-linear and the most unique approach to a Metroidvania I've seen years: it's basically "what if we did the Metroidvania idea but with no items or power ups? What if the thing that you got to unlock new areas WAS INSIDE THE PLAYER'S HEAD?"

Because you don't unlock the next area by picking up the high-jump boots, you unlock it by learning something new. Now you can do something you didn't realize you could before, but now you know you can.

And that's only one of the amazing concepts they stuffed in this game. The itemless Metroidvania, the tiny simulated solar system, the quantum mechanics... Each of these alone could be enough to carry an indie game. They stuffed them all in one game combined with a great story, and that's in a gamewith relatively little dialogue!

There's like a dozen people to talk to, but you spent a lot of time reading conversations left by the long-gone aliens. You get to know them, what they were working for, how they interacted, and what happened to them, thousands of years later. It's less the bioshock style audio-logs, and more like going over bits of ancient writing, making connections and correlations from the fragments you can find.

And don't get me wrong, this might sound like this game is going to be dry and boring: it is so very not. It is a game about mysteries in the void of space, the death of a civilization, and the potentially world-ending dangers that face a living one, and even bigger concepts. It could so easily be a cosmic horror, about the cold death of space and the universe itself, and the nihilism of realizing that even a race that could cross the gap between the stars and bend spacetime to their will... They too died out. If they couldn't make it, what hope do you have, in your little spaceship that's primarily made of WOOD?

And yet... The game is always engaging. It has a few scares, and space is never a safe place to be, but it maintains a sense of humor and wonder. Yes, the universe can be scary, but it's also amazing. And you're just a little salamander-guy who wants to see it all, and figure out all the things. Maybe you don't know something yet, but tomorrow is a new day, and you can go blasting off to another planet, find some writing in a city suspended upside down over a black hole, try to fly into the core of a water planet, dodge giant anglerfish inside the warped space of an exploded planet, and try to explore an ancient city that's slowly filling with sand. It is a game about Things Ending, and it refuses to give into despair. It is one of the most relentlessly optimistic games I have ever played.

And the experience of playing it is so unique. This isn't a game where you could watch a letsplay and only get spoiled on some plot points, it's a game where the fundamental gameplay loop is about learning things. You should try it for yourself. It's got hints and many different avenues to explore (and it even keeps track of them for you, in case you forget!), so you don't have to worry much about getting stuck for too long. You can always put aside a "puzzle" and come back later, after you've learned more. (I put puzzle in quotes because it's not exactly a puzzle game. It's more of a mystery game. You aren't solving a logic puzzle or putting the pegs into the right holes, you're asking "Why is this like this? Where does this go? What is this for?" and then figuring that out from clues)

It's like 25$ on steam, and you can get it for Playstation and Xboxes as well (sadly no Switch version. They were working on one but it seems that version has stalled, with no announced release date)

You can probably get it for like 10$ if you're patient and wait for a sale.

One final note: there's also a DLC. The DLC is fully self-contained, in that you won't miss anything playing the main game without it. It basically adds a huge side-area to the game which goes and fills in some gaps in the history, explains some things, and introduces some more variety to the Outer Wilds universe.

It's utterly amazing, too. It's basically Outer Wilds 2 in everything but name, but it's totally fine to just grab the base game and play that. You can always come back and grab the DLC later if you want more Outer Wilds.

Seriously. To sum up, Outer Wilds is one of the greatest games ever made, it won a ton of awards, and it should have won more. They should invent more gaming awards just to give to Outer Wilds. This is one of the games that is going to be talked about in future "history of gaming" classes and put on lists of the 50 most groundbreaking and influential games, alongside things like Myst and King's Quest and Zork and Mass Effect. It's just that good, that groundbreaking.

#Outer Wilds

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

sometimes yes! do get frustrate and angry at parents of nonverbal/nonspeaking/minimally speaking autistic ppl/child when they don’t do enough for AAC.

when they so afraid AAC will replace or hinder/slow spoken mouth words (study show it doesn’t), they rather not give child access to alternative AAC communication *now* and bank on future chance that child will somehow develop mouth words in future magically.

or when they say “it so difficult so many responsibility so much effort & concentration & determination” as if their nonverbal nonspeaking child learning AAC themselves doesn’t take (even more) effort & concentration & determination or whatever. as if their nonverbal child isn’t frustrated to no end at not able to reliably communicate (whether they aware of people & communicate or not).

but even tho i angry i rage i want do bad things, i don’t go attack parents in their comment section, call them names, call them abusive, call them “don’t care about their child,” call CPS on them (yes people do that), etc. because it doesn’t help anyone involved, doesn’t help the parent understand more AND doesn’t help the autistic person under the parents care.

in fact it probably do more harm than good: it isolated parents from community, isolated parents from able to ask autustic people who was or are nonverbal, it makes parents resent autistic community and even their child because everytime they remind of autism they think attack.

parents are not victim of their autistic child, yes! it’s endlessly problematic when they make themselves seem like the most impacted the biggest victim who needs pity.

but parents are victims of different kind. they victims of ableist society that don’t care about disabled people. they victim of this society that doesn’t care to provide services and funding to help disabled people survive, live, gain skills, and thrive. many of these disabled people, especially disabled children, require caregivers. parents are victims of not enough respite care, not enough compassionate education and training, bad clinicians, etc. would even go as far to say that parents of autistic children/adults are victim of same/similar *social* forces of ableist society as autistic children and adults.

so many parents of autistic people isolated and tired and helpless, because society made them that way!! so many parents of autistic people do care about their child (in their own way). yes, there are martyr parents, yes, there are abusive parents, and yes, unfortunately some of these abusive parents are intentionally abusive.

by attacking and isolating all parents, you are isolating the autistic kids (and adults!!!!!!) under their care, many of whom cannot communicate (yet or ever), go online, self advocate, etc!! some autistic people need 24/7 care their entire life. you are doing a disservice to these very autistic people you are claiming to help.

by attacking and isolating all parents, the most you doing is self indulgent, release your own anger and then pat yourself on back thinking you did something. i’m really sorry many of us had abusive unsupportive parents and have intense trauma because of it (i do too!!!), but that doesn’t justify us project our trauma on every parent we see. it doesn’t mean every parent of autistic people out there responsible for our own trauma.

yes, even parents who “deserve it.” because our goal is to help the autistic person under their care.

it our own responsibility to keep our trauma in check and work on our own trauma.

we can be angry at our own parents. can be angry at parents do bad things say bad things, whether they intend to or not. i get very angry at many parents i see online and in research papers!!! but we all need learn when and who and how it is & is not appropriate to express that trauma.

yes, these parents are isolated and trying their best. sometimes their “trying their best” is questionable and even abusive and harmful. they deserve and NEED education and compassion and community. if not for them then for the disabled person under their care.

they also need take accountability for their actions and harm they did and ableism. even if they absorb that ableism and express in way they did because societal ableism and societal pressure and systemic problems.

AND at same time. it’s not responsibility of individual autistic people to educate and correct these parents on the misinformation and harmful and even abusive and vile thing they do and say. they deserve education and support, but it doesn’t have to be you.

but ultimately, attacking parents in their face doesn’t accomplish anything other than give yourself ego boost (and make yourself very, very angry).

if you can’t care about the parents yet, care about the autistic people under their care.

#actually autistic #actuallyautistic #autism #autistic #loaf screm #long post #very long post

[worldseer]

Who are your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from JJK? And why you loved them? And your top 5 favorite moments from the series? Thanks.....

I admit, most of my favorite characters from JJK I somewhat thirst over but I'll try to keep those thoughts out of why I love them (because I do have some genuine reason besides thirst for liking them). 1. Toji Fushiguro

First and foremost, I like his calm attitude yet snarky way of talking. Also he's just a badass. We all all saw him kick ass any time he came on screen. His physique and strength is something to envy ngl (which I had big muscles too). And yes, not the best dad but I KNOW this man was the best fucking husband he could be. 2. Kento Nanami

HE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER! It's obvious he cares a lot about people, especially young sorcerers. I like to believe that while he hates how Jujutsu Society operates, he tries to make the small changes necessary to make it better (aka not having child soldiers die and get traumatized like he did). Plus I fully agree that both aspects of life (living as a sorcerer or working a normal job) sucks too.

3. Ryomen Sukuna

HOLD ON HOLD ON HOLD ON BEFORE YOU ALL STAB ME TO DEATH CEASAR STYLE- He's genuinely an interesting antagonist to me. He has layers, I think that's apparent. He's cocky, but for good reason. And there have been moments where I near shat my pants watching him (we all saw that Jogo vs. Sukuna fight and those jumpscares he did. Also both VAs did amazing cackles). His true form from the Heian Era is also so cool to look at as well, and I think may inspire me to be more creative with my own character designs in the future.

4. Suguru Geto

HOLD ON, HOLD ON- Once again, I love a layered antagonist and HOLY SHIT HE HAS LAYERS! Like- ok- I get what his goal is. I get what he wants. And frankly, if my lover best friend died, came back to life, and close friend I was meant to protect died as well, yeah I'd be kinda fucked up so see people celebrating and not batting an eye. Yes, running a cult and committing literal genocide are. . . choices. But in the end, his goal is to protect sorcerers (a group constantly being used and controlled by the majority of non-sorcerers) and that makes some sense.

5. Toge Inumaki

I personally think he's a bit underrated, and underutilized. Sure, I know he's not loaded with Cursed Energy but like- that technique he has can be overpowered as hell. Also, I like how he insists on using ingredient names to convey how he feels when he could just- avoid commands? Like he can obviously use nouns. As long as there's a proper subject, then verbs won't use the cursed speech technique (Don't flame me if I'm wrong, I haven't read through too much of the manga). He's cute, I love his vibes, and he is my son. As for moments in the series, they're more small than most expect: 1. Whenever Mahito gets his ass beat - Self explanatory. Yes I'm still fucking mad about what happened to Nobara and Nanami.

2. When Yuji met Toge in the streets of Shibuya - SALMON! But fr, I love the small moments that show friendship between sorcerers that otherwise don't meet up much. And Toge just being there, chilling with a megaphone to help people is funny to me.

3. The last conversation between Megumi and Toji - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! PAIN! BUT ALSO YOU CAN SEE HOW HAPPY TOJI IS FOR HIS SON! I'M GONE. DEAD.

4. THAT Nanami scene - MAPPA served us good as did Kenjiro Tsuda. "The number and locations of your allies," anything for you, love. Let's go to Malaysia and sit on a beach. I giggle every time.

5. The phone conversation Suguru and Satoru have - The expressions and conversation kill me everytime. They're 'close friends' your honor.

#jjk #jjk fluff #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #inumaki toge #jjk inumaki #jujutsu kaisen inumaki #geto suguru #jjk suguru #jujutsu kaisen suguru #fushiguro toji #toji fushiguro #jjk toji #ryomen sukuna #sukuna #sukuna ryomen #jjk nanami #kento nanami #nanami kento #jjk manga #jjk memes #worldseer rambles

[dnickels]

"The house is a character" goes without saying, on Ghosts and other shows about people trapped in an old crumbling house that hates them (by God, is that Julian Fellowes' music?), but Ghosts makes good use of the house as a site of contention. It is a very old pile of bricks and masonry in disrepair, that's what it is, but it means to various people-- who live in, who live around it-- is a much thornier issue. Robin, who predates it by millennia, doesn't really give a shit, and to Allison and Mike by the end of the first episode its a huge liability they would bulldoze if given the chance. A windfall, an asset, a stone around their necks etc. But to the people who lived there it was/is a world unto itself. We get to see just how much history that place has, which is a meaningless thing to say, because any square foot of Earth outside of Antarctica has untold millennia of human history, but its a history that's real and alive and present because people remember it, and live out that remembering.

Who does it belong to? Legally to Allison and Mike, by the vagaries of fortune and inheritance law. But what does it mean to try and share the place where you live, currently, with centuries of past inhabitants? The show makes the issue literal but its an ideological struggle that happens constantly when it comes to preservation. People do have to live. Not every beautiful old building can be preserved as it was forever with no changes or updates, although it doesn't stop me from wincing when a new block of 5 over 1s goes up. If you wanted to talk about the long arc of the show, its from episode one where the Ghosts can only watch in horror as the wrecking crew comes in to the last (penultimate?) episode where they make a negotiated peace with the idea of change. (I haven't! Not a golf course! Allison noooo its so bad for the environmeeeeent etc).

I am a little surprised the blue plaque issue got such a brusque treatment-- I was wondering when the Coopers would come up against whatever local heritage society objects to them putting in modern plumbing, or tearing out the old lathe-and-plaster, to say nothing of the government agencies who hand out historic protections etc. But on the other hand, maybe the history of the house feels "more important" than it is because we, the audience, got to experience it so closely. Yes it was the site of a duel, a witch-burning, a murder, a WW2-era weapons development project, a plot to murder Queen Elizabeth-- but so were lots of places. It's not, in the grand scheme of things, an especially important house and yet it means so much! What do you mean, Cap doesn't get a blue plaque for having a very minor homefront position from 1939-1945! What do you mean Fanny doesn't get a memorial for being pushed out a window! Those are my friends!

There could have been a season-arc about someone outside the house trying to 'save' it, make it into a museum etc, but maybe that would be a more byzantine and thorny issue than the half-hour penis joke format would allow. I do still cringe whenever they sell off pieces of 'the collection', or destroy a painting etc, but the point is that its not a collection-- its furniture. People are still living on it, using it, etc. i do hope that any future plans (in the canon of the show) include some kind of way for people to learn about the ghosts' stories-- Allison could write one hell of a book, though how she would source it is a nightmare to think about. But maybe its for the best that the house doesn't become a stagnant museum that's locked up at night. If nothing else, the ghosts would get bored again.

#the themes are rich is what I'm saying! #I could keep going but I am about to be so late for work #bbc ghosts spoilers #ghosts season 5 #bbc ghosts

[agirlwithglam]

how to develop self love and confidence

— a step by step guide by yours truly ♥

disclaimer!! for some people it can take a lot longer to love themselves than others, so don't be discouraged if it takes a bit longer. just remember that no matter what you think, you ARE WORTHY OF LOVE.

step 1: identifying the root cause

first you need to find WHY you dont love yourself. it usually comes down to these main reasons:

society

your looks

comparison

your abilities

childhood trauma

your current situations

it can be just one or more than one, and sometimes it may not be as simple as "my looks", sometimes you may have to dig deeper.

for me, it was because i thought i was "ugly"

step 2: once you know the WHY, research about the topic and try and solve it.

here ive broken down the 6 reasons to help you a bit: (but remember that this is just a small break down, if you want you can research more about the topic & try to battle it)

society: society has tricked us into believing that loving yourself is considered 'vain' or 'narcissistic'. let me tell you right now that THAT IS NOT TRUE. loving yourself is a basic necessity that everyone should have!!

your looks: this is something i struggled with for a loong time. remember that beauty is subjective!! bob could think that travis looks 'average' but Leo could think that travis looks absolutely gorgeous!! ☆ so how did i overcome this? i actually 'glowed up'. bc the main thing i didnt like was face- my teeth to be specific. so once i got braces, my teeth aligned and i started looking so much better. ☆ other struggles: ↴ for you if it may be acne, then you could start trying to take care of your skin better. or if its body image then if you reeeeally dont like it then literally just start working out. if you have the option to yet you still dont then dont complain. but remember that ALL BODIES ARE PERFECT. ★ another thing that helped me a lot was affirmations! i listened to a bunch of affirmations -> i used this video by thewizardliz and it did wonders! (you can also search up on yt self-love/ beauty affirmations)

comparison: for most people comparison comes from social media right? the simple solution to this would be unfollow accounts that dont serve you, or delete/ set a time limit on the social media platform "but what if i compare myself to people i meet in real life?" well we can't exactly unfollow or delete these people but what we can do is turn that jealousy (yes, jealousy) into inspiration! be inspired by the people with greater lives and use that to pull yourself forward! ☆ a quote that i read once (that may or may not help you) : "do not compare your chapter 1 to someone else's chapter 50." you never know what the other person has gone through or is going through that got them to this point!

your abilities: okay theres not much i can say here except that you can learn almost everything online nowadays. stop complaining and get off your lazy butt to prove to yourself just how much potential you have! (but don't beat yourself up for being a lazy butt, im one as well) here is a link to a TON of stuff you can learn online!

childhood trauma: this is a bit of a more delicate subject which i do not know a lot on, my best suggestion would be to just go to therapy (or use an online therapy app- betterhelp). - watching thewizardliz may help as well as she might know more about the topic.

your current situation: whether its trouble with friends, at school, at work, or with family i promise you that these things do not last forever. humans were not put on earth to be unhappy and miserable! (whats the point in that?) my advice is to learn more about the topic (for ex i was struggling with being left out w friends for a while and it did hurt a bit) and see what you can do to fix it or at least make the best out of it. + another reminder that you can use the law of assumption- in basic words the law states that whatever you desire, you have. all you need to do is accept that. heres a quote i read: "if you dont like where you are,, then move. you aint a tree." this is literally YOUR life. RESPECT yourself and dont let people treat you bad because that is disrespecting yourself!

step 3: focus on yourself!!

my favourite step!!

this is your sign to stop focussing on others' lives and start focussing on your own.

when you start to focus on yourself, up level yourself and try to become your best version of yourself, you actually end up falling in love with that version of yourself, and your current version!

ask yourself: is there even something to love?

ask yourself: would you want to date or be friends with someone like you? think actually deep about this; if your answer is no, then that obviously means that there is some work to do.

if you're constantly negative and complaining and rude all the time, trust me, literally no ones gonna want to hang out with you. and then you'll adopt that 'victim mindset' of "nobody likes me and i suck". instead of doing that, why dont you try to just suck a bit less? there isn't any pressure on you to become amazing the next day, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.

small things/habits to start:

gratitude

hydration

exercising

journalling

meditation

eating healthy

developing a skill

get enough sleep

take cold showers

taking care of your skin

invest in your appearance

focussing on school/ your grades

go outside! go for walks, be in nature!

changing what you consume (resources below)

some resources that helped me SO MUCH:

♡ thewizardliz

♡ tam kaur

♡ persephone's mind

and meditation! its so extremely underated but SO VALUABLE.

xoxo, vanilla

#agirlwithglam🎀✨ #it girl tips💗💋 #vanilla self improvement⭐️ #self love #it girl #girlblog #confidence #self improvement #self validation #self worth #self love guide #that girl #girlblogging #that girl tips #it girl tips #it girl energy #confidence guide #confidence tips

[soupthatistohot]

an absurdist lens is SUCH a good one to use for bsd i feel like, seeing as how it came about because of the war and so many of bsd's characters were involved in the bsd great war.

what do you think of how the great war in bsd is written looking at it through an absurdist lens

(btw your analyses are so good and interesting i love reading them!!)

Ooh this is a really interesting ask! I'll admit that I don't know much about the great war, but war itself is such an inherently absurd concept. Like, you have some issue with another country/territory, so your conclusion is to start killing each other until one of the parties taps out? It's so weird when you think about it like this.

I think the best thing I can analyze with my current knowledge is Yosano's backstory. Because the soldiers Yosano treated were forced into this never-ending loop of horror and brutality, the war kept going and going, and I think this serves as a commentary on war and its absurdity.

Absurdist storytellers often exaggerate situations that already exist in our real world in order to bring to light just how ridiculous they are. For example, in Kafka's The Metamorphosis, Gregor Samsa wakes up as a gigantic bug, but is more concerned with the fact that he won't be able to attend work and provide for his family than finding an explanation for his circumstances. This is likely commentary on how our capitalist society forces workers to overlook their own physical wellbeing for the sake of attempting to live off of inadequate wages.

In a similar way, Asagiri does this with the concept of war, exaggerating it by forcing this group of soldiers and Yosano into this literal vicious cycle that traumatizes both parties time and time again. Living through the horror of war once is already bad enough, but imagine if you had to do it hundreds of times, wouldn't that be awful? A soldier that's been healed that many times over will have seen many more people die and killed more people than if they just died. Yosano as a nurse has to treat so, so many suffering people, and she's only like 11 at the time. And yet, isn't this what we're doing by forcing generation after generation to fight these wars because of the conflicts we keep making? It makes you question why the idea of a war even exists in the first place.

Even with the current arc we see it. The hunting dogs are military, and they're the villains! Yes, all of them but Fukuchi are misguided, but it's commentary about corruption in systems of power that are supposed to be protecting us. I'd also say Jouno and the satisfaction he derives from torture is probably some sort of commentary on police brutality. Hell, in the latest chapter, we're 30 seconds away from a nuclear warhead destroying Yokohama. If there's one thing that's completely absurd in our modern world, it's nuclear weapons that are literally world-ending.

Anyway! Anon! If you want to tell me more about the war, I'd be happy to try to analyse it based on what information you can give me, but also no pressure. I'm just worried I didn't really answer your question, but I did the best I could! I'm glad you enjoy my silly little rants :)

#bsd absurdism analysis #anon ask #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd spoilers

[hatosaur]

ep. 8 thoughts here we go. tw for sexual assault obv.

so i liked the episode, but not really as much as the others. compared to the others, i’m closer to lukewarm. the episode felt a bit rushed in the second half, because the first half spent an adequate amount of time setting up david.

i’m gonna talk about david first to get him outta the way.

i liked most of the details they added for him:

the christian thing -- as i was watching, i thought it was a good way to subtly imply the pedo thing without being overt about it. we also never got to see how much power david had in the game, so those beginning moments of the ep where his unequivocable leadership over the group is shown were really good at silently highlighting that. i’ve also seen it pointed out this being the “traditional” and “correct” way to maintain society and yet immediately turning to eating their own kind because of their one leader, versus jackson being communist and thriving because everyone holds the exact same amount of power, is really, really funny.

the subtle emphasis on traditional gender roles -- i don’t really recall him having this in the game but that moment where he insists he’s that one girl’s father because of his role in the town is a really scary prelude to what role he thinks ellie should take up alongside him.

the teacher thing -- much like the christian thing, but something that doesn’t quite hit till later. creeps me out just thinkin about it.

the detail that i didn’t like, which i feel crumples up all this good subtextual writing and throws in it the bin is david’s attempt to rape ellie. in my post about ep. 7, i was HOPING that they wouldn’t be more explicit about david’s...intentions than they already had been; and they did exactly that, but in the smallest way. in the penultimate moment, in the burning diner, david admits he likes “the part where they fight” the most and reaches for his belt. like...i get it. you want it to be clear-clear that he’s a pedophile, that had ellie gotten to the machete a bit later in the game, maybe he would’ve made that intention clear as well, but why go that far narratively? you already have the building blocks for the audience assuming he’s a creep, you even strengthened it in the subtext, so why make him attempt to sexually assault her, in a burning building i might add????

the only saving grace was bella’s acting chops and, of course, when she kills the mf.

i’m not a fan of craig mazin’s reasoning for his changes nor his understanding of the characters, especially in the bts for this ep. his point about david being right about ellie having a “violent heart” is gross, because no, she doesn’t?? she doesn’t have a violent heart anymore than joel does, or maria, or tommy, because they all live in the post-apocalypse. she’s a literal kid trying to survive and maintain the good that she has, why describe her in such a weird way? when she’s quite literally the embodiment of good and hope in the series??? i know more than you, craig. >:///

a change that i did like was the separation between what happened in the burning building and joel finding ellie. because yes, i agree, the whole point of ellie’s section was for her to come out victorious through her own making. that moment where they find each other again, with all the fucked up additions, did feel all the more relieving, i’ll give it that.

that other change where it’s not joel pulling her close, but ellie going in for a much-needed hug, was really good. to me, it works with the build-up of ellie’s reliance on his protection. “if you die, i’m fuckin’ dead out here” & “i can’t fucking do this without you” were building up to this point where she can (non-verbally) say that she needs him.

in the game, it’s more so “she’s finally safe, thank god she’s safe,” which is still good, clearly because it’s one of the best scenes in the game and because we’re in joel’s shoes, but i like that the show’s depiction of them plays into the dynamic of ellie loving joel’s protection and him just being there for her. shit, i like seeing how much ellie loves joel in the show!!! her cuddling up with joel REALLY felt to me like for a moment, she could pretend for a second that he’s more than some guy transporting her across the country, but like maybe a dad? something like a dad? something precious that she wants in her life for a long time??

the game being from joel’s perspective, we don’t get as much on ellie’s feelings, how she comes to love joel, and i really dig that the show is giving us that. like hey, i know she’s a kid and of course, that means she’ll latch on to him faster but maybe it’s a bit more complex than that, who knows.

HEY, SPEAKING OF JOEL: poor guy’s parts of the ep were way too short :( not just in an “i wanna see joel do more sick shit because this is a gameplay section” kinda way, but also in a “hey, you’re rushing the episode” kinda way. i wanted more of him tearing the place apart in search of ellie. the game had it that way to match the chaotic energies that both parties were going through just to get back with each other! but joel’s portions of the ep were lacking and it seemed like the episode needed that boost. in trying to remember what joel was doing in the episode, the first thing that comes to mind isn’t really his torture scene but him ambling about in the snow. not a great thing. give the man more to do, please. i now see what people mean when they say the action has been neutered a bit.

anyway, back to ellie again lol. 

bella was AMAZING in this. they’re so good at acting and acting like ellie that it’s like??? where they born to play ellie???? she killed all the feral moments, the vulnerable moments, the moments where ellie fucks up. the “ellie is the little girl that broke your fucking finger” moment was PHENOMENAL. 

last episode next week. it’s 44 min apparently?? i’m not liking how that looks. if it were up to me, it’d be a two-parter. a bigass slow burn. one episode dedicated to ellie and joel only, expands their growing relationship after winter, lets them be soft, has the giraffe moment, makes things seem okay, then at the end they get found by the fireflies. second starts with the anna flashback and really digs into what’s about to happen, rounding off the theme of getting into the scientific side of the cordyceps in a neat way, then kicks off the end segment of the game.

here’s hoping they nail it.

#tlou hbo #the last of us hbo #spoilers #talkies #thinkies #looonnnnnggg post where i get in my feelings about joel and ellie

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

Barbie, one of the few movies directly about Death Anxiety and Thanatophobia.

That was not a sentence I expected to write, but here we are.

If you haven’t already seen Barbie, I highly recommend it. It is a story about Existing, and what it means to Exist.

Barbie is an Idea. In this way, Barbie is strangely immortal, but she begins to have thoughts about Death, Mortality, and what Life Means. Her journey throughout the movie is to find out who she Is.

She wants to be Stereotypical Barbie. Pretty, blonde, partying every night, empowering women, and living her best pink life, day after day. She says it in the movie: she never wanted change.

But change happens.

Even for ideas.

We can see this just by looking at the way we’ve taken and reframed Grimm Fairytales, Ancient Greek Myths – hell, even the way we try to reframe and reinvent superheroes! Change is our only true constant, and so, change came from the Idea of Barbie.

At the end of the movie, Barbie is given a choice: stay an Idea Without End – or become Human.

This is a story that, perhaps, doesn’t celebrate death…but it certainly accepts it in an indirect fashion, because not only does Barbie pick to be human, she also makes one of her first actions as a human be a gynecological appointment.

I admit, I laughed my ass off at the ending line, because it was perfectly unexpected. Now that I’ve had time to sit with it, it’s also perfectly poignant.

Barbie’s first act is accepting her mortality and her change, by going to make sure she is healthy, by taking the steps to deal with the reality that she is now Mortal, and that means having parts of her that can get diseased.

Barbie’s first positive human interaction in this movie, is also notable. She has a lot of interactions with men who look at her lecherously, or when she tries to steal, but the first notable good one, is with an aged woman, that she calls beautiful – and the woman acknowledges it. It’s not a humbling compliment to a woman who’s forgotten her worth – it’s an uplifting one to a woman who knows it and can embrace it.

Yet again, Barbie flips expectations. We don’t expect this woman to know she’s beautiful, because our society doesn’t call old people beautiful. But there’s not a SINGLE hesitation from this woman in accepting it.

Barbie does many things right in opening a conversation about Life, about Death, about Aging, and about Making A Purpose.

Barbie doesn’t know what her purpose is, or what she’s going to do with her mortality, but she knows, she wants to live. She knows, she wants to have the opportunity to create, to change – and that is what humanity is. We all live a life where we can create things and make meaning. We are inventors, whether we just invent feelings in other people for a short period of time with our arts, invent smiles on the faces of our friends, invent airplanes for travel, or invent pet-steps up onto our beds because the ones in the store just weren’t working for our pet’s gait.

And then we age.

And we die.

Nothing in the movie sugarcoats this, and it expresses death as a Fear. It doesn’t say death is desirable at any point, but it does say it has to be accepted in order to experience and enjoy life. Just as aging, if we are lucky, is experienced, and is a whole other realm of beauty and experience.

Barbie was not the movie I expected it to be, and I love it for that. I love how the longer I sit with the experience, the more I find that comforts me in the message it offers, as a movie about struggling with existence and meaning.

Yes, it genders this message – but it’s not a movie that is Pro-Women, Down With Men.

Ken’s struggles are highlighted, and the mistakes he makes trying to deal with those struggles, too. Ken learns, like Barbie learns, that he has to find out who he is, and who he wants to be, apart from Barbie. He struggles with the expectations of men, the way Barbie struggles with the expectations of women, and both of them come out ready to learn who they really are.

It’s a wonderful movie.

#death anxiety #death anxiety talk #thanatophobia #barbie #barbie movie #barbie 2023 #film recommendations #movie recommendation

[agirlattea]

Sincerely, a Rainbow of stories for you: 

Please Tell Me the Story of the Rainbow: Part 12

(Location: Magic Manor, Shylock’s Bar, Central Kingdom, Night Time)

Akira: (I see...the Northern Country is a meritocracy, where only the strong thrive. It's a harsh place for humans to live, but because of that, Wizards hold strong positions in society. 

From the perspective of Owen, a Northern Wizards who lived somewhere like that, of course something like this may sound strange.) 

...Do you think so too, Bradley? That it’s strange for wizards to be chased out of their homes by humans? 

Bradley: That's right: Cowards who run away after being mocked by mere humans lack pride. 

If ya’ have power, use it and live as you please. 

Akira: Power… 

Rustica: A person’s Innate strength is their hands and feet. 

To that young woman, seeing that world is nothing special. Just like we wizards use magic. 

Akira: ...It's certainly something to think about. As you say, Rustica, whether it’s normal or special doesn't make that much of a difference. 

I had heard that Luka was a witch with exceptional powers… I may have approached her like that too. 

Akira: It's difficult. By trying to understand someone, sometimes you push them further away. 

I feel a sharp pain deep inside my chest. 

Shylock smiled at me elegantly. 

Shylock: What a good night. Debates like this turn sweet alcohol bittersweet, and give it more flavor. 

Special or not, the mystery surrounding the author Luka is certainly expanding. 

The right to look into such a world is given only to eyes that have not yet been tainted… Isn't it like the beginning of a wonderful novel? 

His flexible fingers raise the glass, and the ice makes a sound. I thought it was the sound of night falling. 

(Location: Magic Manor, Courtyard, Central Kingdom, Day Time)

Akira Thank you very much. 

Rutile: Mitile, Riquet, if anything happens, make sure to report it to Figaro-Sensei and the others. 

Mitile: Yes! I'll search diligently!

Riquet: Of course, Mitile and I will do our best! Please leave everything to us! 

It was the fourth day of the exhibition. It had become a daily routine for Rutile and I to see off the wizards in charge of security. 

Figaro: I’m glad to hear that everything seems to be running smoothly so far. 

Akira: Yes, but I heard it's very crowded every day. I hope things will stay safe until the end... 

Figaro: I'm sure it'll be fine, leave it to us for today. 

Looks like Leno will be coming with me.

Lennox: Yeah. Rest assured, even if thieves break in, we did some training. 

Akira: Training…? 

Figaro: Rutile, if Luka comes to the venue, I’ll keep an eye on her. I'll let you know if anything happens when we get back. 

Rutile: Thank you very much. It's a simple request, but I'm sorry I can't accompany you today. 

Figaro It’s fine, keep up the good work.

Lords Snow and White reminded me, if something happens, I'll leave her to them. 

Lennox: Even now, we are all connected to mysterious creatures that we cannot even imagine.  

I used to live in the mountains, so there were times when I felt something strange when deep in nature or in places with strong magical power... 

I'm a little worried about a child facing that presence alone. 

Mitile and the others, who finished preparing for their departure, appear as Lennox speaks calmly.

Mitile: Figaro-Sensei, Mr. Leno! We have to go soon, the exhibition's about to start.

Riquet: Tardiness is strictly prohibited. We must fulfill our responsibilities properly. 

Mitile and Riquet: Well then, let's go! 

Akira Please come back safely! 

Astride their brooms, the wizards soared through the sky. 

Rutile and I watched until they were out of sight.

Akira: I the exhibition can continue without incident. 

Rutile: …Yes, I hope her new work can be unveiled safely. 

Rutile gently traced the cover of the picture book she borrowed from Arthur and spoke softly, as if praying. 

Akira (Huh…?) 

Suddenly, sparkling, rainbow colored scales seemed to sparkle in Rutile's hands. 

However, they disappeared in the blink of an eye, melting into space. 

Was what I saw now... an illusion? 

(Location: ???) 

Luka: (I wonder what this nostalgic smell is… A distant season...the smell of sunlight…) 

…Ah. I started remembering little by little. It was… a hot afternoon. 

I ran, ran, ran... before I knew it, I had passed through the forest and found myself in the city. 

I was supposed to be fleeing from people who did terrible things, but I ended up wandering into a place with lots of people. 

I sat down at the base of a tree by the street and cried a little at the faint smell of the tree. 

At that moment, something landed on my head suddenly. 

A hat that smelled like fragrant wheat: I thought that was the smell of sunlight. 

When I looked up, I saw slightly tanned skin and  amber eyes.

That person asked "Are you lost?". 

A human. If I don't run away, something terrible will happen to me again. 

That's what I thought, but the soft smell of sunlight made me feel at ease and suddenly I was tired…

I shook my head slowly. 

I'm not lost. Because there's no one looking for me. 

...I had been walking for days, and at that moment I finally lost consciousness. The next time I woke up, I was on a fluffy bed.

There was a wet towel on my head and a gentle voice at my bedside. 

"How are you?" 

I heard the sound of the window opening, and the sunset-colored wind gently swayed my hair. 

I could see thin clouds through the window. 

A beautiful color: a mixture of yellow flowers blooming under the pale red sun, with just a hint of verdant grass. 

I want to draw those clouds. 

With that thought in mind, I absentmindedly surrendered to the wind. 

"Hey, did you draw this?"

Eventually, the man shyly showed me a thin stack of paper and asked me. 

I draw pictures of scenery and creatures whenever I feel like it. My own world... 

I quickly snatched back the stack of papers. 

Being able to see that world makes it difficult to live in this one. Even though I was young, I knew that. 

“I apologize for looking at something so important to you without permission,'' the man said, bowing his head sheepishly. 

His bright hair swaying in the evening wind reminded me of a wheat field. 

...Ah, that's why it smells like sunlight.

I wondered why I thought so. But I thought so anyways. 

Like warm sunlight. 

The man spoke with a serious look on his face. 

"You paint a very beautiful world." 

“Like a daydream I had when I was young:  beautiful and somewhat sad, like a memory that lives on in a corner of my mind...'' 

Then he handed me a clean sketchbook and new art supplies. 

“...I want to know more about you and your world. Could you please draw more?"

“Of course, I won't force you, but... You're good at drawing, so I thought you might like it." 

The person laughs, a slight wrinkle forming at the corner of his eyes. It was the first time I made someone laugh like this. 

I wonder what that feeling was. My chest felt warm and somehow sad... 

“Oh! Why are you crying!?” 

The man dropped the art supplies in a panic,  leaving them scattered as he looked into my face. 

“Did you not like it? Or are you hurt somewhere? Your eyes will get swollen if you cry too much. We should use cold water and a cloth…”

Luka: Hey, what color are those clouds? 

"Huh…?" 

I pointed out the window, at the strangely colored clouds. The man leaned forward and put his hand on the window frame. 

“Well...it's just dusk, so I think orange is safe. No, maybe it's vermilion..."

Luka: Yellow, pale red, and bright green. 

That's how it looks to me. 

Suddenly, eyes brighter than the setting sun, He turned towards me.

Involuntarily, my shoulders trembled. But the usual, scathing words didn’t come. 

The golden eyelashes that framed his eyes blinked a few times in curiosity. 

 “… Is that so?” 

“You live in a beautiful world, don't you?" 

He laughed a little, like a child. 

I panicked, trying to think, to come up with something. 

None of the quickly changing expressions on his face were the cold ones I knew.   

The first person who didn’t deny me and my world. He said she wanted to know more, without ever calling it creepy...

(Location: ???) 

“Ah... that's right. I'll be calling you often, so If you don't mind, may I ask for your name?" 

I can see my reflection in his straight, Amber eyes. 

…Maybe I was a lost child after all. 

There was someone here who could find me.

Luka: Luka. 

What's your name······?

Luka: How nostalgic… it makes me feel a tingly in the back of my head. 

Roxy... Roxy...! Oh, thank goodness, here you are!  

It looks like you’re napping... yes, I was dreaming… a nostalgic dream. 

…Ah. I hear a voice from outside the picture book, it sounds like Aslan is calling... 

But I wonder why... I'm very sleepy… like my body is saying it doesn't want to wake up…

I… I wonder why I’m so sleepy… 

#3rd anniversary #akira #arthur #bradley #cain #chloe #faust #figaro #heathcliff #lennox #mahoutsukai no yakusoku #mahoyaku #mithra #mitile #murr #nero #owen #oz #promise of wizard #riquet #rustica #rutile #shino #shylock #snow #translations #white

[cinamun]

I wanted to elaborate on my comment about mental health being stigmatized with the propensity for violence. However, I understand how nothing about this situation happened in a vacuum. Elliot is a perfect example of how someone who spent years suppressing a lot of pent up emotions ends up spiraling. I would go as far as to say he has a toxic relationship with women. Think about it. He had no relationship with his mom but he knows is she abandoned him. So Hope becomes in some way the leading female figure in his life. Not to mention she had the family he always wanted. He covets her and her life and we all know where that leads. So when things didn’t work out she became yet another black woman who abandoned him. Which turned into some deep seeded resentment. That’s how misogynior comes into play. So, when he meets Hani (who has her own set of issues thanks to her father) he subconsciously hates her. She’s a reminder of what he wants but can’t have. He’s probably also expecting her to disappoint him as well. So he remains guarded. He put Hope on this pedestal that black men love to put black women on as long as they’re riding for them but as soon as the she checks them she’s knocked off. Hence him calling her a bitch that time. Hani rode with him wearing the invisible cape because she so desperately wants love thats she willing to take someone’s sloppy seconds. Yet, the moment she demands better from him she’s discarded.

Then there is Sean. I’m sure he’s probably shared on multiple occasions in one of his many drunken moments about how women ain’t shit to his son. After all Sean has not had the best of luck. Even falling for Indya was bad for his health. On top of being injured and not being able to play. He lived vicariously through Elliot. I’m sure Elliot didn’t mind playing football but is that the only value his father sees in him? SIDE-NOTE Is Elliot even his biological son? Didn’t he tell his first wife she couldn’t be pregnant because he had a vasectomy? Damn it I done lost my train of thought.

My point is at no junction in this young mans life did someone stop to notice he was not okay. Darren was the only one who showed him some love. Darren saw Elliot the boy he tried to encouraged him in the bathroom on prom night. Imagine had his dad done that everyday of his life. Or his teachers, or his coaches, or his managers and agents. Humans are naturally supposed to function in a communal society. We are supposed to be each other’s keepers. I’m rambling and lost my point but yeah. No one saw it coming because as humans we tend to be caught up in living our own lives. Which is understandable but sometimes we gotta stop and check in on folks. Life be life-ing. I’m sorry this is so long. I had so many dots I was trying to connect.

EVERYBODY COME AND READ THIS PLEASE AND THANK YOU! Sis this was an EXCELLENT deep dive into the process of the spiral that happened with Elliot. Like you pinpointed exact moments that caused certain events in this story. And this is in no way excusing his behavior WHATSOEVER! ... just so everyone is clear ...

Also yes, he's Elliot's biological dad we just don't know who the mom is, we never found out. His ex-wife lied about being pregnant.

According to Sean:

Let's just say he paid for a DNA test and the resemblance is uncanny.

But I be digressing too.

#story stuff

[what-gs-watching]

"It's the things we love most that destroy us."

The other night, I did the last live session for my career bootcamp, and I decided I was gonna take yesterday to myself and just chill out. 

Which led to me seeing an early movie. I honestly enjoy going to the movies by myself, sitting in a mostly empty theater and just getting lost in whatever is going on for a while. I’ve been meaning to go since this ‘hiatus’ started and there hadn’t really been anything enticing enough, but finally I gave in, and went to see

The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. 

….Fuck, y’all. I came home and I felt a lot of WAYS about a LOT of things.

I read all of the original books while the movies were coming out. They were lent to me by one of my forever best friend slash favorite coworker - this dude was NOT the type of person to ever, ever read the Hunger Games but he did, and we got into the habit of swapping books and I ran through all of them. It was only fair, I’d made him read The Rum Diaries.

I love dystopian shit. I really do. I think most of us are fascinated with the idea of society breaking down. And also, how much worse it could actually be than it is now. That’s why I loved The Last of Us and Handmaid’s Tale and a million other things. It’s a curiosity. And a comfort, kind of.  Like, things are fucked, but look how much more fucked they could be, aren’t you kind of glad, now? 

So of course I was all in on a villain origin story for The Hunger Games. Who wouldn’t be? 

I’m not really sure what I was expecting. I haven’t read the book yet, I’m so behind on actual reading (has fanfic taken over my life? Yes) but holy HELL. Like, they made this movie and they put it out and they were like “people are terrible, here’s a wonderful example of that. Hope you can stomach it.”

Wherein, a young Coriolanus Snow  tries to mentor a tribute in the 10th annual Hunger Games (whose popularity is waning)  to victory so he can get some desperately needed money for his family and shit spirals incredibly out of control. 

Heartstrings are definitely pulled for Corio, I can’t deny it. He lives with his grandmother and his cousin and their family used to be powerful but his mother died in childbirth and his father was murdered during the rebellion and they show him and the cousin almost starving during that time and I get it. It’s unfortunate. But he gets into the academy and he sees his opportunity to finally get his family back to better footing, and that’s commendable.

He does some dubious shit in the beginning to help his standing - like making suggestions on how they can make the Games more popular again. Suggesting people need to get attached to the tributes, so they’ll be invested in their ultimate fates. That’s some psychological warfare. But also, it makes perfect sense. And it’s so gross. 

Then he gets attached to his tribute, Lucy Gray, and he’s determined to help her live, and of course it’s because if his tribute wins then he’ll supposedly get some prize money, but it also seems like cares about her. Along the way, his friendship with Sejanus, another academy student who is originally from district 2, and who is rightfully absolutely disgusted with the games, grows. Eventually, Corio cheats to help Lucy, even though he’s been explicitly told that cheating will come with terrible consequences. 

And so like, I’m with it so far. You gotta do some unsavory things to survive, we all do, it’s human nature. And that’s really the entire point of the movie but this motherfucker eventually takes it too far.  But he also helps Sejanus when he goes into the arena to try and protest what the fuck is going on, and so it’s like, a balancing act. 

Lucy Gray eventually wins the Hunger Games. I’m not gonna go into how fucked up all the death scenes during the Games are. Or how horrible the one girl is, leading a pack. There’s a lot of ruthlessness but also tenderness and it’s just as terrible  as all of the other Games are, with a lot less finesse. 

Anyway, after she wins, Snow is obviously punished and forced into being a peacekeeper in the districts, and he weasels his way to 12 where he knows Lucy is. And surprise! They fall in love. I am VERY curious to know how he gets away with running off with her all the time, that dude is supposed to be part of the military that shit should not be possible, but whatever. 

Turns out, Sejanus follows Crio to 12 too, and that’s sweet. Sejanus really thinks they’ve got a bond. And maybe they do. But he’s dealing with a fucking psychopath and he doesn’t know it. 

So sweet little Sejanus sees injustices in the district and he wants to help so he starts cavorting with rebels because of course he does, he’s the good guy in this fucking story, and Snow doesn’t approve but he’s also caught up in Lucy Gray and trying to figure out a way to get back to the capital, apparently.

And then it all comes to a head when he follows Sujanus to a secret rebel meeting and Snow ends up killing one of the dudes involved, and then the mayor’s daughter dies too, and tells Lucy and Sujanas no one can know about any of this obviously, and another guy takes the guns that were used and hides them.

The next day the Peacekeepers are obviously intent on finding the guns and hanging the killers. There’s some searching, and then they find one of the rebels involved. THEN we cut to two guys up in the noose, Corio standing guard like a good little keeper, and then they’re pulling SEJANUS up to the platform too and he’s crying for Snow to help him and he just watches and this poor kiddo is unceremoniously snapped at the neck. 

Afterward, Snow makes a plan to run away with Lucy Gray and so they go. Like, he must love her if he’s going to try and escape Panem with her forever? Like, he must be abandoning his family and going for it? He’s abandoning his chance to be sent to 2 for officer training as well, his way back into property society. So he must mean it? 

But when they stop at a cabin to get out of the rain, he discovers the guns they’d used in the murders. And he realizes he can get rid of them for good, and maybe he doesn’t have to escape after all. And Lucy can see the gears working in his mind and she knows he’s already lied to her because he let it slip that he’s killed 3 people and she was like ‘who was the 3rd?’ and I’m thinking the same thing too. And he lies about it. 

So she lies too, says she’s going out to forage some food and when he goes after her, he finds the scarf he gave her on the ground and when he picks it up, a snake she’d planted there bites him. And he loses his shit. He’s carrying the gun he used to kill that rebel and he’s screaming and when he catches a glimpse of her, he shoots. He wants to kill her, she’s a loose end now, just like that. 

Maybe she got away. We never really know. But honestly, in my mind, he got a good bite out of her and she eventually dies. Because it would make sense this asshole ruthlessly kills the one person he worked so hard to help survive, the one person who loved him, just out of self preservation. 

Afterwards, he goes back to 12 and finds out he’s being sent back to the capital. And we need to give ALL the kudos to Viola Davis for her portrayal of Gaul, who was the head gamemaster, and was absolutely out of her everloving mind. She’d been pushing Snow behind the scenes throughout, likely because one fucked up person can recognize another fucked up person with potential. 

So he meets with her, and we find out that he’d slipped information to her about Sejanus’s activities, and that’s why he was strung up. She wants him to attend university and become her protege. And he’s all about it. Sejanus’s family is going to pay his way because he was such a good friend and tried to do right by their kid (jesus christ y’all) and tada! Just like that, his family is restored to the status they expect and they have nice things now and everything is tickety-boo. 

At the end, he meets with Highbottom, the academy’s dean, who has been absolutely not a fan of Snow throughout his exploits. He’d been determined to keep the kid down, and at first you’re like ‘yo what’s your deal?’ but we come to find out that Highbottom had inadvertently invented the Hunger Games as a thought experiment, sharing it with his best friend, Snow’s father. Who took it, and had it implemented. And Highbottom’s been trying to stop it ever since. No wonder he wanted to get rid of Snow. 

Joke’s on him though, he’s hooked up morphling and after Snow leaves, he takes one of the viles that Snow had dumped on his desk, part of Sejanus’s personal effects, and immediately dies. Everyone that could of stopped him, everyone that could have been even vaguely a threat, gone.

And all of this, for what? Power and money? Security, I guess in some twisted way? Because he felt threatened? Did what happened to him turn him into this, or did what happened to him just show him he’s always been this way? 

I wanted a villain origin story and I got it. And I kind of hated it. Because they had me in the first half. Because maybe we all have the propensity to become something so horrific if we’re thrust into just the exactly right set of circumstances. I mean, maybe we don’t, but we could, and I don’t think anyone ever really wants to find out. 

Don’t make me look too close at humanity. That way lies madness. 

The point is: I probably did not need to feel all of that right now. But it was good in a way that makes you angry. And sometimes, life’s just like that. Sometimes snow lands on top. 

Fucking dystopian futures...

#what g's watching #hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #movies #dystopian future #coriolanus snow

[acircusfullofdemons]

For the ask meme: questions 1-10 for the last 3 paras you’ve daydreamed about PLUS whatever questions Emory can/wants to answer 😈 (<- evilly gets you to talk about your paras) (if it’s not too much of an undertaking). -👁️‍🗨️

[ ASK GAME] || Last 3 paras I daydreamed about were Ozzie, Neil, and a few canon characters from their source that don't have para/maac equivalents yet (save for maaybbee Lucky Moth & Arachne). SO I'm gonna force Emory to answer these as well! (/j he's being nice today lol)

1.) What’s your name? Pronouns?

Emory: My name is Emory. I don't really care about pronouns, but [Luka] uses he/him for me.

Ozzie: Dr. Oswald Octavius, but most people call me "Ozzie", and I encourage you to do the same! My pronouns are he/him.

Neil: Oh I have a name. A human name. A totally normal, believable human name. That I will share now! ....N...Neil...? Yes, that's it. My totally normal and legal human name, that is definitely in any name-finding systems you may or may not have. My pronouns are....uh. None of your business (he doesn't know what they are, I use he/him but tbh I doubt he'd care what you'd use).

2.) What’s your gender and sexuality?

Emory: Being an...interdimensional being, I don't exactly have either of those. The sexuality that describes me best is asexual I believe. I feel no attraction to anything. Gender? I am a cat. Cats don't have gender.

Ozzie: I'm a cis, bisexual male.

Neil: People have tried explaining "gender" to me and I still don't get it. I have sex with Ozzie. Is that anything?

3.) How would you describe your aesthetic?

Emory. Libraries. Old books. Cats, naturally.

Ozzie: Oh let's see...lab coats, octopuses, robots, turtlenecks, am I doing this right?

Neil: Teeth. Claws. Sports? Is it supposed to be things we like? Then Ozzie. Fighting. Food, but specifically ice cream and doughnuts.

4.) What are your hobbies?

Emory: Reading, traversing the different paracosms/dimensions, watching [Luka]'s life play out.

Ozzie: Well, I mostly try to take care of my actuators, they're quite a handful! But I also like to read, I've taken up knitting recently! I will admit, most of my time nowadays is spent teaching Neil how society works.

Neil: Eating, sleeping, fighting. I used to fight Lucky Moth as a hobby, but that was less of a "hobby" and more of a "job". But now I help him fight crime! That's definitely a hobby, I don't do it all the time. I dunno. I'm pretty active in general, so I've tried just about every outdoor activity there is.

5.) How old are you? (Can be as vague or specific as you feel comfortable!) Does your age change at all? If so, which age are you most frequently? Do you “act your age”?

Emory: Hm. Old. I consider myself ageless. There is a version of me in Phantasmagoria that was portrayed as 19, though that happened long ago and

(Ozzie doesn't have a determined age yet, somewhere around 45-51?? His FC is 70 which. damn Alfred Molina is still hot af.)

Neil: I. I don't know...Somewhere around Ozzie's age, I guess? An adult?? I'm told I'm like a toddler sometimes.

6.) What’s the name of your paracosm/source (if applicable)? How would you describe your paracosm/source? (Can be a physical description or like a summary of the plot!)

Ozzie & Neil are the Spiderman villains Doc Ock & Green Goblin respectively. They're my own personal take on the characters, namely wanting to see different variants of them like we saw different spiderpeople in Spiderverse. A lot of their characterizations take inspo from the live action Spiderman films — the ones that star Tobey Maguire & Andrew Garfield. Their subcosm/volume name in MaaC is "A Plague of Octopuses", because Neil's alias is Plague & Ozzie is, well, octopus themed.

Emory: My "source"? Let's see. I was always "part" of Phantasmagoria, though it isn't exactly my "home". I consider that the now defunct paracosm "At the Graveyard", [Luka]'s old Creepypasta paracosm. That is where my backstory technically originates from. Phantasmagoria is like living in a video game. At the Graveyard was mainly about Slenderman hiring a Seer/Medium/one who could see ghosts to deal with the ghost problem. I never had a problem with the various ghosts there, but that might be because I'm a cat and ask for things nicely.

7.) Do/Did you consider yourself a veritbond?

Emory: yes.

(the other two are regular paras so. they cannot answer this question. personally, I don't consider them as such.)

8.) Are/Were you a primpara (“original character”), a fictpara (para from a show/movie/game/book/comic/etc), a fictpara (someone the host/daydreamer knew or knew of IRL/thisverse), or somewhere in between?

Ozzie & Neil are fictparas! Technically. I've definitely put way to many headcanons & aus into them at this point (even tho it's been...like 5 days lmao someone help them). So like most of my "fictparas", they're actually a horrible mix of prim/fictpara lol.

Emory is a primpara, but based/inspired by a number of fictional talking cats (Cheshire, Binx from Hocus Pocus, The Cat from Coraline, Salem the Cat), however his main inspo was all the different Stan Lee cameos the MCU had. I wanted something like that for Phantasmagoria, a character that was somehow always there, yknow? Anyway. I have a draft of Emory’s opinions on those kitties that I keep forgetting to post.

9.) Are/Were you a parame (“main character”)? If not, do you know the parame?

Emory: I keep watch over everything happening, so I find myself in close proximity to the ever-changing parames. Neil seems to be the current parame that's getting focus, though unfortunately I haven't gotten a chance to met him in-paracosm yet.

(yeah he doesn't really interact with MaaC as a whole idk why :/)

10.) Are/Were you a paraself (“self insert”)? If not, do you know the paraself?

Emory: Do I know the — I wish I could say I didn't. Vincent has caused a great deal of trouble — especially as Entropy. Though I'll admit, Calypso is more tolerable, if I had to choose out of the two.

12.) What is your level of awareness when it comes to daydreams? Are you aware of other paracosms? Can you access them or are they unreachable to you?

Emory: The Daydreams are like a play for me, almost. I have my "role" that I fufil to the best of my ability. I can access everything there is, whenever I wish to. Very useful for when I don't want to be part of a current situation.

13.) Do you have any control over a paracosms, paras, or daydreaming? Do you have any control over yourself in daydreams?

Emory: I can block off paracosms if I wish. I don't do it very often because [Luka] is a toddler that needs to be entertained 24/7.

(RUDE >:()

18.) Do you interact with the MaDD or ID community at all? Why or why not?

Emory: I've managed to convince [Luka] to set up a blog for me on here. They've gotten as far as typing a pinned post and saving a few drafts. Both of us go back and forth on doing so. For me, it doesn't really matter. I just want something to resemble my library, and if I can get it through a measly little blog, then fine. I can't control [Luka]'s body, just ask them nicely to type things for me (as they are so generously doing now), so there isn't much that can be done if they don't want to do something.

44.) If you feel comfortable, show us what you look like! (picrew, ArtBreeder, art, etc)

[Luka] has shared drawings of my where I'm a black cat with magenta eyes. This is an accurate depiction of me. I also have a "human" form that I use less often, but will if necessary. I believe everyone is familiar with my cat form [source] [source], so here is what I look like as a human (art by [Luka]):

and edits [Luka] has done of me:

#paraportal #luka answers #player: blue bubonic #console: mad as a crow #game: a plague of octopuses #oswald osborne #neil o'brian #console: phantasmagoria #emory warwick #game: as the world falls down #omg this took so long. mainly bc of formatting. #had to pspsps emory to come to front so he could answer lol #i love Neil’s answers. he has no idea whats going on lmaoao #still figuring out ozzie n neils personalities so. yeha.