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seiyasabi · 3 years

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Idolised

(Here’s a Yandere Todo Aoi x Female Reader story :P I wrote up the layout for this a while ago, and I’m currently madly in love w him, so here we are!

Thank you all so much for your support and being so understanding of my situation. I love you all so much ;)

TW: !noncon/dubcon!, !Has a whole ass shrine dedicated to you, you literally don’t know he exists lmao, !claims he's ur bf to everyone, manipulation!, intimidation!, sort of kidnapping!, !forced cunnilingus!, etc..

Please proceed with caution!)

“(Your Name)-Chan, why didn’t you tell us that you have a boyfriend?” You slowly stop chewing, chopsticks going slack in your hand. Eyes darting towards your friend Mika, you raise an unamused eyebrow.

“What are you talking about, Mika-Chan? I don’t have a boyfriend,” All of your girlfriends look at each other, unbelieving of your claim. All giggle, thinking that you’re just being shy.

“Ne~ don’t be coy! It’s okay to tell us about your boyfriend! From the pictures I’ve seen, he’s quite handsome, huh?” At this point, you’re completely confused. Are they pranking you? You don’t have a boyfriend!

“I genuinely have no idea what you’re talking about-“ The seat next to you slides out, and a hulking figure plops itself down on the wooden chair, the wood creaking horrifically underneath their weight.

Their arm wraps around the back of your own chair, practically engulfing you in the crook of their enormous elbow, “Hey, Pretty Girl. I’m sorry that I’m late, you know how late my classes run sometimes.”

You’re too scared to even turn towards the large man, choosing instead to look at your friends with a horrified expression. They don’t notice it, too busy ogling at the apparent eye candy next to you, “Uhm, I’m sorry, but who are you? And why do they think that you’re my boyfriend?” An awkward silence immediately follows after, the man’s hand gripping the wood behind you so hard that it creaks.

He forces a deep laugh, which sounds quite menacing. He moves his hand onto your back, his warm palm felt through your stylish top, “You’re so funny, (Nickname)-Chan! It’s alright, you don’t need to hide me anymore. I messaged your girls last week, they know about us.”

“Yeah, (First Name)-Chan! It’s okay! We think you’re both so adorable,” They practically fawn over the two of you, trying to push you closer into each other’s arms. The man next to you takes this in stride, practically hauling your chair up next to his. His arm is now fully around you, as you lean in close to your hair and neck. He inhaled deeply, a satisfied grunt rumbling through his chest.

“Don’t do anything stupid, (Your Name)-Chan. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll follow my every whim,” Tears of fear and anxiety bead your eyes, which your friends take as relief that you’re no longer hiding away from them.

“Don’t cry, (First Name)-Chan! It’s okay! We all support you wholeheartedly!”

The rest of the lunch consisted of you being extremely uncomfortable, and your closest friends being none the wiser. Somehow, they don’t notice how you constantly inch away from him, only to be dragged back to his side. Somehow, they don’t know how he’s whispering mild threats into your ear.

But, through this time, you learned the name of your so-called ‘boyfriend.’ Todo Aoi, the beast currently keeping you glued to your seat in fear. He’s so much bigger than you, so much faster, seemingly so much smarter.

“Bye, (First Name)-Chan, Bye, Todo-Kun! It was nice to meet you!” Your friends wave the two of you off, one of his large hands securely on the small of your back. His grip is bruising, controlling. Todo practically pushes you towards an unknown destination, your body only able to continue forward, whether you wanted it to or not.

“I’m proud of you, (First Name)-Chan. I knew my girl was smart, beautiful, and capable. This just proved it to me,” A small whimper escapes your throat, as fresh tears bead your eyes.

“Why are you doing this? What do you want from me?” A booming laugh is heard, practically shaking the ground below you, causing you to flinch.

“Why am I doing this? Well, I’m doing this, because I love you. I want us to be together, so we’re going home,” He says this as if it solved all of your problems.

“But we don’t know each other, why even bother-“

“We know each other. I saved your life, remember?” For the first time tonight, you look at him. His distinct scar immediately catches your attention- this man did, in fact, save your life. Two months prior, someone or something shoved you onto some train tracks, right in front of an oncoming train. In a mere moment, the bulky man grabbed you from the tracks, and hopped back up onto the platform, effectively saving your life.

“I-Bu-But what? We met only once, and-“ He shushes you, forcing you closer to his side, his entire hand practically engulfing your waist.

“There’s no need to worry. In that Moment, I knew that you were meant to be my beautiful Princess. You need me to care for you, and I’m up for the task.”

“Princess? Sir, I think you need help! We’ve only talked once, and while I’m grateful for you saving my life, I think this is excessive! Please let me go!”

He ignores you, sighing dreamily about what the two of you will get up to. Todo couldn’t wait to add more to your shrine at home! He’ll be sure to get as much dirty clothes, used tissues, and everything else he could ever want!

Forcing you into an upper class loft building, he guides you by the small of your spine into a lift, disregarding the old woman inside. She looks at you as if the both of you are the most adorable couple she’s ever seen, making you shift in discomfort. Todo takes it in stride, practically preening under her gaze, but pretending it has no effect on him.

He nonchalantly presses his floor’s number, before placing that hand on your hip, and rubbing it in circular motions. You try to move away from him, but his grip is solid.

Before long, the lift stops on his floor, and he pushes you out. You stumble into the area outside of his front door- his home being the only one on the entire floor. The door itself has a pin pad on its handle, which he quickly typed in, once he’s directly in front of it, leading you to believe that there’s most likely a second pin pad on the other side.

Once you hear the click of the door being unlocked, Todo moves away from the entryway, and motions you inside, “Go ahead, Princess.”

In a Moment of defiance, you shake your Head no, “I think this has gone on long enough,” His eyes narrow slightly, yet you continue, practically shaking in your shoes, “I-I don’t want to go inside. Please let me go home.”

His booming laughter fills the small space, as he shakes his head in disbelief, “You’re adorable, (Nickname)-Chan! Now, go inside before I become angry.” The bite in his final words forces you forward, into his dark flat.

He flicks on the light switch the moment you step inside, momentarily blinding you. Once you’re able to blink away the dots swimming in your vision, you’re greeted with a fairly normal sight. The living room, kitchen, and dining room are conjoined in an open concept, making the large place seem even larger. Two hallways branch off on either side of the large room, most likely leading to a master, a guest room, bathroom, and an office.

“What do you think? I read in a magazine that women like clean homes, so I deep clean this flat at least once a week.”

You aren’t sure what to say, but you nod along anyway, “Yes, it’s very nice.” He beams down at you, cheeks practically stretching to the fullest extent.

“This shows that I know how to make women happy! I believe that’s a redeeming quality,” You awkwardly give him the side eye, “Oh, don’t look at me like that, silly girl! I have many more redeeming qualities if that one isn’t good enough. Now,” He clasps your shoulder with a large hand, “Why don’t I show you our bedroom?”

“Our?” Your eyes are practically bugging out of your skull, as he nods gleefully.

“We’re a couple, aren’t we? And couples share everything with each other.”

With that, he practically drags you down the left hallway. There’s only one door at the end of the hall, signalling that this is the master bedroom. With one hand, he pushes open the door, before coaxing you inside. His hand that was previously on your shoulder migrates to the bottom of your spine. The room is a mixture of black and your favourite colour, showcasing that this room is the both of yours.

The bed is quite large, most likely to accommodate your large captor and yourself, “I thought you’d like that your favourite colour is in here.”

You say nothing, tears beading your eyes. You wring your hands in anxiety, as he leads you to the bed. He sits you down on the edge, before kneeling in front of you. Todo leans forward, resting on your thighs, all whilst still practically towering over you even when sitting.

“Why’re you crying, Princess? There’s no reason to,” He swipes under your eye the moment the first tear falls.

“Why am I crying? You must be joking! You-you just kidnapped me!” He shushes you once more, causing a spark of anger to course through you. He hasn’t listened to a single complaint you’ve voiced! “Stop doing that! It’s rude! I’m allowed to be upset-“

With two massive hands, he forces your thighs open, “I know your work has you stressed, Pretty Girl- why don’t you let me calm you down?” He pushes his hands up your thighs, your skirt barely covering your pussy, allowing his thumbs to ghost over your panty clad cunny.

You try to thrash out of his hold, pushing against his hands, “No! Let go of me!” Your thrashing does nothing, as just the weight of his forearms we’re enough to press your thighs to the bed. His left hand rubs against your clit and hole, trying to make you as wet as possible. You try to push against his forearms, but he presses down harder.

His thumb rubs fluidly over your clit in an even pressure. Your hips press up, trying to buck him off, but it only causes him to press down harder. In no time, you’re growing wet against his ministrations. You choke back your whines, smacking his arms, before pushing against his head which hovers just above your cunt.

“Do you feel that, Princess? You’re getting so wet!” He suddenly presses his open mouth against your mound, tongue matching pace with his thumb. A moan escapes your throat before you can stop it, halting the large man in his tracks. You sound so perfect to him!

In one swift motion, he yanks your panties down your legs, and tosses them onto the mattress beside you. You try to close your legs, but it’s no use. I’m seconds, he has your thighs presses as far open as they can go, and his face is buried in your pretty cunny. His tongue dips into your folds, savouring your taste, before flicking against your clit.

His tongue rubs against your clit in swift, smooth motions, quickly causing you to grow wetter than before. Your slick drips down your cunny, coating your ass and inner thighs. More moans escape your mouth, as you writhe against him.

“Sto-Stop! Oh my god-“ He gives a small laugh at your begs, eating you out faster than before. Loud slurps and ‘mms’ are heard throughout the room, as you quickly go over the edge. Your juices squirt out of your cunny, coating his chin and his shoulders in slick. A loud keen is heard throughout the room.

The mixture of your wonderful cum and loud moans causes the large man to bust a load in his pants. He groans against you, causes your thighs to tremble in overstimulation. Todo removes himself from your pussy (not before licking up as much slick as possible), and smiles up at you.

“You’re so wonderful, (Nickname)-Chan! I should’ve done this sooner!”

#todo aoi #todo x reader #todo aoi x reader #jjk smut #jjk x reader #yandere jjk #yandere todo #yandere jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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962

Do you have a pair of Beat headphones? I used to have a pair. I mean it’s still around in my closet, but it’s completely broken now with the cable all given out and the cushion for the left ear has been missing for a while. I just don’t have the heart to throw it out because it was my absolute favorite pair of headphones that gave me good memories during a particularly shitty time in high school.

How was your week? A little better. I’ve gotten into the groove at work so I’m no longer shy when it comes to asking questions and giving inputs, and I’ve gained a better grasp of the workplace’s dynamic so it’s also been easier to communicate with people. Heavy life stuff is still around and it won’t be leaving for a while, but they were easier to ignore this week.

Are any of your electronics not working properly at the moment? Not really, but my phone’s charger cable recently stopped working. I have a backup that I’m using at the moment and while it’s able to charge my phone, it’s starting to fray and I’m not feeling too good about the wires that I’m starting to see hahaha. I just don’t know how to take care of my cables, guys. Anyway, this question made me paranoid so I took a few minutes to wrap a shit ton of electrical tape on the frayed area so I think it’s all good for now.

Are you excited to pick out your wedding dress one day? I like thinking about my wedding but I truthfully dread the wedding gown part. I’ve never been able to decide what look and style suits me best and I’ve just never been good at determining things like that. I like to imagine that I’d leave that bit to whoever my maid of honor will be, because I’d definitely prize a second opinion more than my own.

When was the last time you felt relieved? Yesterday, 6 PM when I exited the last Google Meet for the day. It was a Friday night and it meant my work week was over :)) I mean I love what I do, but Friday nights will always hit differently.

Does it bother you when an artist remakes a song that one has previously done? I wouldn’t say it bothers me but covers are definitely a hit or miss for me, with way more misses than hits. Nothing wrong with acts putting their own spin on an already existing song, but I’m personally the “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” type when it comes to music.

What brand of chapstick do you use? I don’t use any mainly because I’m bound to lose them within a week. Same goes for other care products.

Do you really think someone could be perfect? No. Everyone has their flaws and that should be okay to acknowledge.

When was the last time you cried? Wednesday, I think. It’s been three days! I’d count that as an achievement. But idk, my sadness comes in waves so I shouldn’t be celebrating too early. I’m sure I’ll feel a pang soon and be crying again over the weekend.

What’s a food that you like every once in awhile but not often? Cake. Too sweet and rich; I wouldn’t enjoy eating it every day. What letter is the song you’re listening to under? Not listening to music, but I have a YouTube video on.

Would you rather visit the 60s or 70s? 60s would be the lesser evil, I guess. I would NOT want to live through Martial Law in the 70s...I originally wasn’t even going to go with 60s because I think the world was a bit chaotic at the time, but I think my country was mostly unaffected by the political/cultural things happening then so it’s whatever.

Are you the type of person that enjoys getting hugs? I don’t actively seek them out but it feels nice when someone likes me enough to extend their arms out to me for a hug. I haven’t been hugged for a while and I feel kinda empty.

Do your socks say anything on them? I think some of my socks have the brand name on them but that’s it.

Name a TV channel that only has three letters in it. AMC.

Have you found out who your true friends are? For now, yes.

Gray or Grey? I use both spellings for no particular context. I simply like changing it up lol.

Will you be buying concert tickets any time soon? LOL of course not. And I’m very picky when it comes to concerts that I choose to attend anyway, so I doubt I would’ve bought any tickets in the last six months even without Covid unless it was for Paramore or Beyoncé.

Have you seen the movie The Perks of Being a Wallflower? Did you like it? Nope, but everyone was hyping that movie up when it came out. It never really looked like my thing < Yeah pretty much. I feel like it’s such a teenage-y movie so I was never drawn to it. I also think it would be too triggering for my depression, so I’ve felt wary about checking both book and movie out.

Is there something you’d fall apart if you didn’t have? One of my biggest fears is to end up alone, so I always have to have some form of a support system to fall back into. I would be very lost if I didn’t have at least one person to rely on.

How many weddings have you been to? I can think of four off the top of my head. I was either a flower girl or a junior bridesmaid for all of those.

When you smile, are you confident? Most times I am; I like to smile. But sometimes I smile just to fake it and avoid any questions.

Have you ever not done something because you were afraid of getting in trouble? Yesss, all the time. I’ve always been all about following the rules and I’ve never seen the appeal in breaking them. That makes me sound boring but at least I’ve never gotten in serious trouble lol.

Was the weather beautiful today? For me it is, but only because I like the rain and cloudy weather. Others might find it bleak and sad, but I feel right at home.

Do you have to have a fan on when you sleep? Yeah, all year long.

Would you rather have an orange, red or gray bedroom? If I had my dream modern/brutalist home, grey would be soooo fucking perfect for the bedroom.

Would you ever dye part of your hair blue? I’m open to it, but I don’t think it’ll be a good match for my black hair as both are darker shades as it is. If I could dye my hair I’d pick lighter colors like green or even go all the way to blonde.

Have you ever gone to a private school? Yeah, from kindergarten all the way to high school. Private schools here typically give a better quality of education and they don’t give off the for-lazy-spoiled-kids vibe that I always hear from private schools in other countries, which makes them the norm for middle and upper-middle class families.

Is Finding Nemo a favorite movie of yours? I have other favorite animated movies, but that doesn’t stop me from loving Finding Nemo. :) I would always tune in for the whole thing if it were on.

Does/Did your school have a uniform? I had to wear one in my first school, but I didn’t need one for college.

Turn on the TV. What channel are you on? No TV where I am. I think my parents are watching a movie on their TV, but it’s on Netflix rather than a channel.

Does your house have security cameras? It does not.

Does a popsicle sound good right now? Eh, I guess it sounds fine but I’d rather have a pint of ice cream. I think that fits better with the weather and the mood that I’m in today.

What’s your favorite exercise workout? My weight training class last year was a lot of fun. I always felt dead after every session haha but I definitely felt healthier. I wish the semester had gone on longer just for that one class.

What’s your favorite thing to do? Lol I love doing many different things < Same lmao this question is so vague??? My favorite thing to do these days is binge-watch Rhett and Link content, but I like doing so many other things too.

What did you do for your 17th birthday? I was with Gabie that day and we went to a local art museum, as well as to a restaurant that she had wanted to take me to.

Does your local Walmart have benches in them to rest? We don’t have Walmarts.

Was your favorite stuffed animal really a teddy bear growing up? I never had stuffed animals. Well I was given a few of them as gifts, but I was never into them and they always ended up being owned by my sister.

If your house was haunted, what would you do? Not even think about it. Just show them that I couldn’t care less, lol.

Are you good at swimming? I can do a few strokes and am pretty good at treading, but I'm prone to panic-kicking when I can tell that the water is too deep.

What’s worse: Slow internet or slow walkers? Slow internet is such a pain in the ass. Shouldn’t even have to be an issue in 2020 anymore.

What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? Cat-called, whistled at, winked at, lunged at. One good thing about this lockdown is that I haven’t had to deal with men as much as I used to. Do you sleep with the sheets tucked in or out? Well I only have one layer of bedsheet and it’s the one that covers up the mattress, so it’s tucked in by default. I have a blanket to cover me up when I’m cold.

What do you do to fall asleep faster? I find a few videos to watch as that tends to make me feel sleepy the quickest.

Do you carry a bottle of water wherever you go? I used to have a tumbler/water bottle in college but I forgot it at the gym one day and when I came back for it, somebody already stole it :( It was such a handy water bottle because it kept my water cold all day, so it sucks that I lost it. I’m planning to buy the same model again soon.

Are you afraid that one day you might get cancer? It doesn’t really run in my family save for one grand-aunt who had cancer, so I’m not too worried. But I’ve accepted the fact that it is at least a possibility.

Are you a fast or slow walker? I like being in the middle. Slow walkers are annoying so I try not to be one, and walking fast just reminds me of my mom and how quickly she walks at malls when she’s supposed to be spending time with her family lol.

Do you usually have to wear a belt with your pants? No. They all fit me just fine.

Does it bother you when people’s underwear hangs out? Eghhh, it really does. I know it shouldn’t but it really does. I just feel like it’s so invasive and it gives me a lot of secondhand embarassment.

Are you usually the person to try new things with your hair? Not really. I like staying safe with my hair. The most daring thing I’ve done with it is get bangs tbh, and I don’t plan on going any further than that.

When’s your birthday? April 21st.

What age do you look forward to reaching? I don’t feel that way about any age. Whenever I reach ultimate satisfaction and security will be a good enough age for me.

Name a state that begins with the letter M. Minnesota.

What’s the first thing you do after a car accident? Think about how to tell my parents. D:

What do you use to get rid of bad breath? Brush my teeth, drink water.

What exercise do you hate the most? Pull-ups.

What do you do at a party? Drink, socialize, tell stories, eat allllllll the food ha.

#survey #surveys

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svtskneecaps · 4 years

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i’ve been enabled

here’s the sitch on the goddamn harry potter hogwarts mystery app game

it fucking sucks

here’s my main issues in a handy list i’ll go down later:

the gameplay

energy

art / visuals

the story

the writing

the choose your own adventure like elements (technically gameplay since there isn’t much else l m a o)

and i have receipts for most of this stuff. fun fact, i’ve been taking videos of all plot relevant events since year 1.

some context:

i’ve played up to year 3 myself. i have watched up until the very beginning of year 5 in someone’s youtube series (will bits? that was his main character [henceforth referred to as MC]’s name, however that was a year ago and it was in the background like a podcast so the details are sort of fuzzy. i have not played the game since march (it’s september, ish), but i’m loading it up as i type this just to get a feel for it

idk whether to assume my audience has or hasn’t played the game. i’ll keep my complaints as clear as possible.

i’m mainly an author so the storytelling sections are where i’m really going to pop off, since that’s something i have the most experience with and passion in, but i’ll be touching on everything else because compounded it’s all pissing me off lmao

[a couple hints at spoilers for maybe an event in year 1, and year 3, but nothing major]

let’s start with: THE GAMEPLAY

there isn’t any

literally. there’s like. zero gameplay.

you tap some highlighted figures, and then sometimes you get to trace a little shape, and sometimes you get to play rock paper scissors to fight somebody (they did manage to make duelling slightly better but it’s still not good by any standard)

sometimes you get to choose between three dialogue options, but those have barely any impact on the story or on your character. any impact they have is limited to a couple stat points, or maybe some house points, or like. some event at the end of the year. but like barely any make any real serious difference (but i’ll touch on that more later)

and then there’s the factor of stat points (and this gets kind of mathy, so feel free to skip to the bolded sentence)

for those who haven’t played the game, you have three stats (empathy, courage, and knowledge) that you can level up by taking classes, 1, 3, or 8 hours, for various rewards

back when i stopped playing, i had gained 8914 points in courage. if i recall correctly i was only about halfway to leveling up that stat. if you take an 8 hour class, you receive consistently 200 stat points, with a possibility of extra rewards that i can’t count for since those are randomly generated.

to get those 8914 points, i would have had to take 44.57 8 hour classes (while 8 hour they only take about 7, counting for the 2 hours it takes my energy to recharge to full). with 44.57 classes taking 7 hours each, to get halfway to level 24, i would have had to have done:

THIRTEEN STRAIGHT DAYS OF GRINDING, ASSUMING THAT ALL I HAD BEEN DOING WAS CHECKING ON THE HARRY POTTER HOGWARTS MYSTERY APP

and again, I WAS ONLY LIKE HALFWAY TO LEVELLING UP

I AM BARELY BEGINNING FOURTH YEAR. I AM NOT EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH THIS GAME.

i think they’ve fixed this now; it said i had 8914/1550 courage and when i got stat points it fixed itself and jumped me from level 23 to 28, so thanks for that jam city.

but it doesn’t change the fact that the grinding is fucking horrible and i’ve done my fair share of hours, and who knows what it’s going to look like when i get to a higher level again

the energy

yes, i know it’s an app game. i know they want my money. but holy FUCK the energy recharges disgustingly slowly, and every bit they expand my energy bar is an insult

“here, have another energy capacity!” they say, and then add to the amount of energy it takes to complete a task at the same time, so now shit just takes me even damn longer

it’s an insult. don’t think i didn’t fuckin notice jam city.

since it’s an app game, naturally, energy requires paying real world money or the (semi) rare in-game currency to get more if you blow through your bar. they want your money. i know they want my money, but it doesn’t make me any less disappointed by how damn blatant they’re being. app games like bakery story probably also want my money, but at least those are still fun to play.

the art / visuals

now i’m not an artist. nor am i a 3-d modeller. but if solo indie devs and 10 men teams can make video games that have to have models with a much fuller range of motion (since there’s ACTUAL GAMEPLAY and not just little cutscenes of characters moving around) and that don’t make me sick to watch, then jam city working on a HARRY POTTER GAME should be able to (jk rowling fucking sucks but her books have brought in so much goddamn money that they can afford to pay their devs enough to make the game look good; in this case i’m not entirely sure where the blame lies)

there’s like. 10 motions characters can use while in the cutscenes and talking. like 10. and i can recognize every one of them, and there is not a single motion unique to a character. the characters are something i’ll touch on later in the storytelling sections, though. just, please god give them SOMETHING even SLIGHTLY different. like make two versions of a couple of the crowd animations at LEAST, so that when people celebrate at the end of the year there’s not twenty people in the shot doing the same “pump my fists in the air in celebration” motion at the exact same time. PLEASE.

sometimes animations in story events and classes sync up too, which is. beyond distracting. like it’s completely immersion breaking and i mean please, please jam city, if you haven’t fixed that please fix it. please.

the animations that roll in flying class are fun, ONCE. when you’ve seen them eight hundred thousand times because you’re grinding up your courage stat, they get hella boring. all of the classes are like this to some extent but flying is the biggest offender since those were the longest animations. if they haven’t implemented a skip button since i last played it, they should. they fuckin should.

also the fertilizer animation in the greenhouse scenes is gross. you pick up a deformed cone of dirt with your shovel like a slice of cake and then shove it clipping through the edges of a pot, where it disappears without a trace. i hate it. jam city please make the game look good.

if you still play the game please tell me it looks better; i’ll be playing through a couple things after i post this but it’s hphm. it’s gonna take me a goddamn long time to hit all the points and confirm whether what i complained about has been fixed or not

also also, wearing dresses is so distracting, especially while dueling. the way the dress flexes around your legs is like you’re wearing clothing made from jello and when my character does the idle animation her hands clip through her skirt, and there’s all kids of glitches with hair where it clips through outfits (and why in the fuck do the necklaces float a full foot from the character’s body)

the storytelling

alright there’s a lot to cover so strap in

i’m not mad about the story having some of the same beats as harry potter. whatever, right? if it worked, it worked. having a big climax at the end of the year just works well for storytelling. having a school bully antagonist also works well for easy storytelling (it’s kinda cheap, but whatever works, right?) it’s what you DO with the archetypes you use that makes or breaks your story

jam city broke it

i don’t know how to organize my thoughts so here’s a bulleted list

it is very clearly obvious they wrote this as they went along (ex. a previously unseen character pops up in year 3 and was supposedly the best friend of your greatest enemy in previous years) and didn’t think to fix the plot holes

there’s too many goddamn characters (i love them, but with a big cast comes a whole host of problems [I WRITE FOR A KPOP GROUP WITH 13 MEMBERS, I HAVE A LOT OF EXPERIENCE WITH THAT], and we’ll get there)

there’s too much goddamn filler for the sake of forcing us to spend time and in-game energy (yes i KNOW it’s an app game and they want our money but THEY COULD BE A LITTLE MORE SUBTLE ABOUT IT)

what honestly pisses me off the most about it is that IT COULD BE GOOD

IF THE STORY WERE GOOD, I WOULD FUCKIN IGNORE ALL OF THAT OTHER SHIT

but it’s not, and here’s the biggest gripe i have:

none of the choices you make matter. none of them. to the point where it’s immersion breaking at BEST

for example, while my MC is a hufflepuff, i know a lot of people play in slytherin. scenes where snape gets upset with your character and takes away house points no longer make sense for a slytherin MC, because snape would be infinitely more likely to give you three years of nightly detentions, or pitch you off the astronomy tower, than he would be to take house points from slytherin

honestly, they should have waited. if they wanted to put choose your own adventure elements into the game, they should have planned out every single one of those story arcs in detail, and THEN released the game. they could leave some of the more basic choices in and those choices only mattering for short term effects wouldn’t irk me as much as it does right now because THERE WOULD BE CHOICES THAT MADE A DIFFERENCE.

your very first choice over how you felt about your brother’s disappearance only matters for what wand you get (which i immediately forgot which really says something about the impact of that choice :)))) ). no matter what you pick, you still end up chasing after him for the rest of the game, so who cares?

story beats don’t land different based on your house. you could absolutely play it that merula hates you regardless of your house, that’s fine. just remember that if your MC is slytherin and lives in the female dorms, she probably shares a room with merula. which makes things fucky for all kinds of reasons, none of which jam city addresses in the current game, as far as i’m aware

also, there’s the deal with rowan

rowan is a character that goes into your mc’s chosen house no matter what (and as rowan changes pronouns with your player, i’ll be using “they” [or “she” as my player is a she and that’s what i’m used to; i’ll try to refrain but i might slip up occasionally] ). as far as i can tell, rowan’s personality remains the same no matter what house you’re in. they don’t try to play up the traits that match the house, rowan is just usually a sweet bookworm. why would the hat have put them in gryffindor? rowan khanna for me has never seemed to display any gryffindorish traits; or at the very least, no traits that should be prioritized over, say, the ravenclaw traits they have VERY STRONGLY (since rowan fills a sort of hermione role; rowan knows things about things and is your go to for research)

can we just put rowan in ravenclaw? sure, it would make it hard for fans in different houses to communicate between each other about the story for a time since certain sequences of events would play out differently, but here’s the thing:

if events play out differently based on your choices, people will want to play your game multiple times to get every ending

that’s the fun of a choose your own adventure game. if events play out distinctly differently if you’re a hufflepuff or a ravenclaw or a slytherin or a gryffindor, then people will want to play through the game four times at LEAST, once for each house, to get all the fun pieces of story (WHICH MEANS, they’ll be spending more and more time and using more and more energy, so you can make the same amount of money off people buying energy and watching the ads and maybe MORE while being able to cut out some of the more shitty pieces of filler)

in the current version, your house is just, what color are your robes and who is your prefect. i haven’t watched anyone who wasn’t a hufflepuff, but i’m sure that certain scenes and conflicts play out the exact same no matter what house you’re in

as an example, your house should affect how the duelling confrontation in year one should have gone. snape and flitwick should have different dialogue based on whether you’re a slytherin, or a ravenclaw, or a gryffindor, or a hufflepuff. snape fucking hates gryffindors, so he should be far less lenient against gryffindors, and on the flip side he should be battling between himself with how strict to be if you’re a slytherin; maybe he hates your guts because of a grudge against your brother, but you’re still in his house and we all know snape plays favorites. flitwick should be more disappointed if you’re a ravenclaw, because that’s his house and he had higher expectations for you. neither of them have many ties to hufflepuff that would skew the confrontation in a drastic direction, but had this been the first version of the game, then the confrontation that plays out in the current version we have would work fine for hufflepuff; you’re one of flitwick’s favorite charms students and he taught you this skill, and he’s disappointed to see you use it in this way, but not nearly as much as if you were one of his own

AND NOW PEOPLE WANT TO PLAY THE GAME MULTIPLE TIMES TO GET ALL THE DIALOGUE, WHICH MEANS MORE TIME, MORE ENERGY, AND MORE MONEY, JAM CITY, ARE YOU HEARING THIS??? MORE MONEY!!!!! IT’S A WIN WIN FOR EVERYONE

while we’re at it, change jacob to match his house. if you’re still gonna make him have the same house as the MC, make him match it. from how all the characters describe him that bitch is as slytherin as they come, if you’re gonna make him a hufflepuff with me then give him a clear, hufflepuff motive god damnit

finally,

the characters

there’s too many.

the problem with a big cast is no one gets enough screen time and some characters end up getting shunted to the side. that’s just what happens. you HAVE to zero in on four or five side friends and let the rest of them slip to the side. looking at my friends menu there are 17 characters you can befriend, not including hagrid, the quidditch crew, dobby, talbott, and chiara (since those are, as far as i know, unlocked via side quests, which are... fine. i don’t have any particular gripes about the side quests except for the thing with lupin being twice the size of tonks which, if you’ve read the seventh book i don’t need to explain how weird that is to you)

and BECAUSE there are so many, a lot of them have to be defined by one trait. ben is a coward, rowan’s clever and booksmart, penny has her hand on the school’s pulse and makes potions, liz likes creatures, charlie fuckin loves dragons, tonks likes pranks (seriously that’s her whole personality), andre likes clothes, barnaby is a dumb jock that likes creatures

like, traits are fun. but if that’s ALL THEY HAVE, that’s when things get a little fucky

how many of these characters have dimensions? i’m in year 4 chapter 4. the first screen recording of the game i took was on december 5 of 2019, and assuming i played about a minimum of 8 hours a day (”““played”““) until the final screen recording [may 20, 2020] before i dropped the game for about six months (i know for certain it was more than that, since i had some kind of activity going on at just about all times for at least a month of that, but i’ll take the generous estimate), at bare minimum that makes 1344 hours i spent playing this game, or about 56 days (keep in mind, this is a LOW estimate)

in those 56 days of gameplay, i don’t know ANYTHING about the characters other than their utility in my quest. i don’t know penny’s favorite color or even her favorite potion to brew, or how and why she started and when [there’s a reveal in third year that i watched someone play through, but i don’t know if i ever played through it myself; i don’t have any screen recordings of the event]. i don’t know anything about ben or his family aside from the fact that he’s muggleborn. i know some basic facts about barnaby’s family, and that he’s tough and likes creatures. rowan grew up on a tree farm and i have a vague recollection of her mentioning siblings. do we know anything about them?? do i know anything about how the characters interact with each other?? are barnaby and liz friends? they both like creatures. do they talk to charlie?? do ben and penny hang out while we’re not there? are ben and jae friends?? are jae and charlie??? DO THESE CHARACTERS EXIST WHEN THEY AREN’T NEEDED FOR THE CURSED VAULTS???

why in the fuck don’t i know these characters?? why don’t we know anything about tonks other than her affinity for pranking?? there’s a sharp bias in who the writer’s favorites are (they like the characters with angsty pasts they can twist around; what do we know about ben aside from his blood status? and he’s been around since first year; he’s the second friend you unlock. i know more about barnaby and i’ve known him for a much shorter time)

if you separate the routes, you get a chance to zero in on certain characters and actually develop them. if you’re a gryffindor, you befriend ben, charlie, and jae much more quickly and they make up the closest of your friends, along with rowan, if jam city is determined to keep their tutorial character constant across all plotlines (i still think rowan should be solely a ravenclaw, but i’ll allow rowan’s house to change so long as their personality shifts to emphasize certain qualities in order to match the change in house; your house should not just determine the color your robes are)

if you’re in slytherin, maybe you befriend barnaby in place of ben in the original game, or maybe there’s an arc where you clash heads with merula (who can still be an enemy even if you’re both in slytherin; merula doesn’t like competition and the MC is exactly that) and the rest of the slytherins in your year find themselves caught in the middle; maybe there’s an arc where your MC finds themself totally alone without allies due to the conflict between them and merula (might i suggest year two, while coming up on the climax of the year?)

hufflepuffs get to focus on tonks and penny much closer. ben can also be in this plotline, but he shouldn’t take center stage (characters should cross over plotlines, but only take center stage in one, aside from perhaps rowan if rowan remains constant). maybe chiara can get implemented into the main plotline to fill out the roster, and if not, diego caplan can get implemented earlier (i haven’t met him yet and know nothing about his character)

and ravenclaws get the ravenclaw characters BUT YOU GET THE POINT, i don’t want to bore anyone by repeating myself; this is long enough as is

what i’m saying is, these characters all have a different enough base that each route will be different just by focusing on different characters; ben and jae will respond to a situation much differently than penny and tonks might, which would ALREADY shake up the storyline of each house based on which house you choose in the beginning, and then characters overlap plotlines so you could leave hints in each route to the other characters’ unique backstories and motivations that leaves the player wanting to get to know the rest of your WELL DEVELOPED CAST (((MAKE SURE THEY’RE WELL DEVELOPED OR THIS WILL NOT WORK)))

WHAT I’M SAYING IS, THIS GAME COULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD

if they put more effort into the story then maybe i would have gunned through the hufflepuff route so quickly and then restarted to go through all the rest of them. if you want people playing your game for longer then THAT is the way to go

yes, it will take time. yes, it will take effort. but you know what?

IT’LL ALSO MAKE YOU A FUCKTON OF MONEY FROM PLAYERS PLAYING EACH ROUTE IN FULL AND THEN PLAYING THEIR FAVORITE ROUTES AGAIN SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR

anyway, what i’m saying is, i hate this game so much because of the potential it had to succeed, and the potential it had to be a really good game. even if they didn’t change the gameplay much, even if they didn’t change the models, i could get past ALL OF THAT if the story was interesting

so uh. jam city, if you’re reading this, please. i will let you take away all of my days of playing this. i will let you render all of my progress obsolete and send me plummeting back into my first year at hogwarts to go through the game again, if you JUST, MAKE, MULTIPLE, ROUTES!!! MAKE MY CHOICES MATTER DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!

i’m also willing to let you use the ideas i posited here without credit or payment. because that sounds like a legal hassle and i am far too lazy to deal with that sort of thing, i just want to play a good game. please. please give me a good game to play.

also, make energy take 3 minutes to recharge. please.

so uh

TL;DR : i hate this game. and i wish i didn’t hate this game.

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mrsrcbinscn · 4 years

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Franny’s 30 Day Cover Challenge

Playlist

Franny’s 30 Day Cover Song Challenge: (categories are mostly from here, and here, with some from here, and a couple I made) in September 2020 one of her musician friends challenged her to do the thing and she was like “It seems like a fun way to show everyone what kind of music has influenced me as a musician, singer, songwriter, and just like, person. So I’m going to do it.”

In reality, she recorded most of them in 1-2 days to distract her from how sad she is because Wilbur hates her and he’s sad lmao

It helped a little.

(If you want me to drop the playlist she mentions in #24 let me know, I have it started I can finish it)

TW: mentions of Franny’s political beliefs so tw: politics, an allusion to suicide though the word isn’t directly used, mention of 9/11 and the subsequent invasions...nothing graphic with any of these triggers but worth a forewarning

Day 01 - A song that makes you happy

Honey Spiders by The Parlotones

“The Parlotones are this fantastic indie rock band out of South Africa. And I actually thought about doing their song, uh, Stars Fall Down for day sixteen, but I’m going with Honey Spiders for day 1. There were lots of Parlotones songs, I mean. Push Me to The Floor, We Call This Dancing, Should We Fight Back...but ah, Honey Spiders always puts me in a good mood.”

Day 02 - A song that helps you clear your head

Light of a Clear Blue Morning by Dolly Parton

“I grew up on Dolly, and it’s funny because for the longest time this song wasn’t really on my radar as much as it is now. But when I was twenty-two I was going through something really difficult, and my then-fiance now husband was abroad for work, so I was alone in our apartment and just. Really, profoundly sad and lonely. So I put on a Dolly Parton record and just laid on the bed and Light Of A Clear Blue Morning played and I had a good long cry and felt so much better after that. When I need to think about how to solve a difficult problem, or I feel overwhelmed, I just listen to that song.”

Day 03 - Song you love from a band/artist you hate

Should’ve Been A Cowboy by Toby Keith

“Honestly, he’s called me a nasty lady to my face and I’ve called him a facist enabling pig to his, so I have no qualms openly saying I hate Toby Keith. That being said, Should’ve Been A Cowboy is one of the best country songs of the 90s, undeniably. I loved that song when it came out when I was thirteen, and I still love it.”

Day 04 - A song about drugs or alcohol

Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss

“This is probably cheating, because my lovely best friend Daniel and I cover this a lot at Dara & Danny shows. But today look who I have! My friend Max from Seoul Hanoi’d! Max the Korean Scot who can’t hide his accent to save his life, so let’s see how it sounds in a Scottish accent.”

Day 05 - A protest song

Talking Vietnam Blues by Phil Ochs /// and Here’s to The State of Mississippi by Phil Ochs

“This one was hard because I. Fucking. Love. Protest music. I could have done a whole 30 days of protest music - wow, let me know if I should do that and give my husband a heart attack with all the twitter threats I’ll invite. Huh. Right, so I was going to do Your Flag Decal Won’t Get You Into Heaven by John Prine. But I decided to do two Phil Ochs songs because I don’t think Phil Ochs is talked about enough. It’s a shame we lost him so young. Ochs’ sardonic humor and honesty in his writing has influenced me as a songwriter deeply. When I write political songs, I don’t hold back, and it’s because of Phil Ochs’ writing that I have that courage. I’ve been singing Love Me, I’m A Liberal since I was in college with constantly updating lyrics. It was so hard to even choose which songs of his to do because for his fairly short career his songbook is lengthy and full of gems. I’m Going to Say It Now, Draft Dodger Rag, Spanish Civil War Song, I Ain’t Marching Anymore...I couldn’t pick one so I’m cheating and recording two.”

Day 06 - A song you wish you wrote

When I Think About Cheatin’ by Gretchen Wilson

“I will forever be pissed off that I didn’t write this song. I’m absolute trash for my husband, so it’s never -- I’ve never had to be in a situation to ever consider -- but this song gets me every time. It feels like I could have written it. Because we do spend a lot of time apart travelling for our work. And the sentiment expressed in the song is a little too real.”

Day 07 - A song in a language you don’t speak

Khattar by Khine Htoo

“This will either be a charming attempt to sing in Burmese or I’m about to offend a lot of people. Which, being a politically outspoken woman on the internet, I’m used to anyway. So. 1, 2, 3, okay here goes.”

Day 08 - A song by an artist no longer living

Phop Samnang by Sinn Sisamouth (inspiration)

“Haha, you thought I’d see the name of this category and not do a Sinn Sisamouth song? You were wrong.”

Day 09 - A song you want to dance to at your wedding

Devoted To You by The Everly Brothers

“I’m already married, so this was actually our first dance song at our wedding. Day three of our wedding, like the more Westernized wedding ceremony day. We had a three day long traditional Cambodian wedding and I felt like a princess. An-y-way!”

Day 10 - A song that makes you cry

Borrowed Rooms and Old Wood Floor by Emily Scott Robinson

“Unfortunately, Emily Scott Robinson and I aren’t related. Sad, I know, because she’s so talented. Almost her entire album Traveling Mercies is...sad as hell. The record reminded me of early Dolly Parton, and my second solo album. You know, all those sad-ass songs. The Dress is honestly the song that makes me the saddest but I can’t even listen to it without crying so.”

Day 11 - A song that you love hearing live

Prove My Love by Violent Femmes

“There is nobody I have seen in concert more than Dolly Parton, but Violent Femmes and George Strait come incredibly close. The Cranberries, the amount of times I saw them in the 90s and early 2000s...close fourth. Probably. The very first concert I dragged my husband to was a Violent Femmes concert, he was not prepared for how hard college me went.”

Day 12 - A song from before 1960

There Ain’t No Sweet Man That’s Worth The Salt of My Tears by Libby Holman

“This song is from 1928. I came across it when I was in grad school and it’s, as the kids say, a bop.”

Day 13 - A song you think everybody should listen to

White Man’s World by Jason Isbell

“I think perspectives of people of color should of course take precedence in these conversations. But I find this song to be a good faith attempt of a white man coming to terms with the institutional racism and sexism in the world around him. And I think this song can be a useful tool to explain certain concepts of racial justice to ignorant but well-meaning folks. As a woman of color I think Jason Isbell did a great job not centering himself even though it was from his perspective. This song is great musically and necessary socially.”

Day 14 - A song from the 1970s

You’re No Good by Linda Ronstadt

“Linda Ronstadt is grossly underrated, that’s all I have to say here.”

Day 15 - A song people wouldn’t expect you to like

Racists by Anti-flag

“I mean, I’ve talked about how much I like punk in the past, and I remember a video of Seoul Hanoi’d doing Spanish Bombs at a San Antonio show made the rounds, but I don’t think I’ve talked about how much I like Anti-flag. People don’t expect me to like punk for some reason. But I agree with...everything punk music is all about.”

Day 16 - A song that holds a lot of meaning to you

Blue by LeAnn Rimes

“It’s silly, but I won a county fair singing competition with this song in high school and it really fueled my passion for music, that win. It’s also the first song Cornelius heard me go full Georgia on, with the yodels and all, at the little bar in my hometown on his first trip meeting my parents. The song doesn’t cut to my very soul ot anythin’, but it’s special to me.”

Day 17 - A song attached to a memory

Supernova by Liz Phair

“I remember buying Liz Phair’s Whip-smart album when I was eleven. And in college, when I was getting ready for dates with Cornelius in my dorm room, I would dance around to a CD I burned and wrote on it with a sharpie, ‘Pre-date Movie Scene Music.’ God, what was even on there? I’m about to expose myself as the most basic 1999-2001 bitch. I remember Head Over Feet, I mean, Alanis Morisette? I was a young woman in 2000, obviously I loved her. Mm, Dreams by The Cranberries...oh, Kiss Me, Sixpence None The Richer...yeah, anyway, Supernova was on there.”

Day 18 - A song from the year you were born

Call Me by Blondie

“...I can’t believe Call Me is as old as I am.”

Day 19 - A song that reminds you of someone you miss

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing (yes, of course she does a cover with banjo)

“This was my late best friend Molly’s favorite hymn. And I sang it at her funeral at her husband’s request. Molly and I grew up together in the small town of Payne Lake, Georgia and Molly was the most devout Christian...but she was also the first person I came out to as bisexual when I was a teenager, and she said that Jesus taught her that love was the greatest commandment and that meant I was automatically twice as good at it as her. Her faith guided her every action but she never talked down on her two best friends - Dan(iel Maitland) and I for not sharing it. Molly was doing the whole emulate Jesus thing beautifully. I miss her every day and it’s been seven years. If you ever think that people won’t miss you...you’re wrong. All right, let’s see if I can get through this without crying.”

Day 20 - A song by an artist you discovered this year

Hello, Anxiety by Phum Viphurit

“I just discovered this quirky Thai-Kiwi singer and not to be dramatic, but he’s my favorite thing in the world right now.”

Day 21 - A song with a city or country in the title

Oh! Phnom Penh (track 20)

“This song was written after the fall of the Khmer Rouge, and after people began to make their way to what was left of their homes, alone, or with what was left of their families. If you want to learn more about what that was like to actually live it, my cousin Reena Boran has a video interviewing her parents and paternal grandfather and uncle about it. Reena is a journalism student currently studying in London but she lives in Cambodia. Her mother is my aunt Malisruot, my mother’s youngest sister. The video is English subtitled on her channel, I’ll link it in the description box below.”

Day 22 - A song from the 1960s

To Sir, With Love by Lulu

“I didn’t actually discover this song until I heard it covered at a 10,000 Maniacs concert in the 90s. My friend Allison was standing next to me and I just started crying and she’s like ‘are you okay?’ and all I just blubbered out ‘My dad!’ For the uninitiated, my dad married my mom, who’d raised me alone until then, when I was six and he adopted me when I was eight. My dad didn’t have to adopt me, he didn’t have to call me his daughter, he could have just been like half of my friends’ stepdads and give me a place to live and nothing else. But my dad was my biggest supporter from day one. He convinced my mom to let me join the dance team and show choir instead of science club, he was the one that talked my mom down from probably killing me when they found out I was only studying music and not music and political science at NYU. I am who I am today because he is my dad. And this song just says everything I’ve always thought about him.”

Day 23 - A song from your childhood

Una Lacrima Sul Viso by Bobby Solo

“But Franny, aren’t you a Cambodian raised in the US? Yes, but you were fooled. My very white father is also an immigrant. He is from Switzerland and while he didn’t teach me to speak Italian and German growing up, he played German, Italian, and French records all the time. My parents often spoke to each other in French and I picked up some French but properly studied it starting in high school, and I didn’t study Italian until college -- and my German is still …. [points to a spot on the screen where she later inserted a card linking to a video on her cousin Köbi Framagucci’s YouTube channel titled ‘Can My American Cousin Speak German?’ where he tests her Standard and Swiss German speaking and comprehension]. But hell if I couldn’t sing every one of the songs from my father’s French, German, and Italian record before I knew what the words even meant.”

Day 24 - A song that gives you chill vibes

Glorify by Ivan & Alyosha

“Dan(iel Maitland) and I actually have an entire playlist on my Spotify accounts of songs to listen to to get us out of writers’ block. And one that I often will put on repeat and just absorb through my headphones with my eyes closed is a song called Glorify by Ivan & Alyosha. I think it touches on a lot of the themes I include in my songwriting. Christian mythology, the darker side of humanity, it often reminds me of what I love about songwriting. If you say please I might drop a link to that playlist.”

Day 25 - A song that’s your signature song

Long Gone Lonesome Blues by Hank Williams“Right, so I chose this instead of a Kitty Wells song or I Get A Kick Out of You (her being

featured on a 2005

recording propelled her career majorly) because if you’re familiar with me you might have seen a video that went around in like….2017? 2016? of Dan(iel Maitland) and I doin’ the song at our hometown bar in 2014. I posted it in response to some tweets because hoes mad when a WOC calls out racism and sexism in the Nashville music industry. ‘Bet she don’t even know Hank’, really? You think I wouldn’t know the history of one of the two music industries I work in? Please. Anyway, she knows Hank and nails the incredibly technical yodel -- the

most difficult

one in Hank’s songbook - in Long Gone Lonesome Blues. Mm...Lovesick Blues though, that also strikes fear into my heart. Anyway stay mad I guess?”

Day 26 - A song by your favorite band

Gun Shy by 10,000 Maniacs

“10,000 Maniacs was one of my favorite bands when I was in like 5th grade through 10th. I listened to them for a little while after Natalie Merchant left for a solo career, but the Natalie Merchant era was really what resonated with me the most. Gun Shy was a bit too advanced for my little 5th, 7th grade ears to really appreciate when I first discovered the album In My Tribe. Merchant’s voice -- because like, I don’t have a very conventional voice either, so her and Dolores O’Riordan really changed my entire perspective on what a woman’s voice can sound like in rock music. Um, yeah, so her voice more than the lyrics just wowed me. And as I got closer to graduating high school and especially in college I actually understood what What’s The Matter Here, Hey Jack Kerouac, and Gun Shy were talking about. Gun Shy...really became a significant song to me because...being born in 1980 I grew up in a relatively peaceful time. The Cold War was all but thawed by my tenth birthday. But I was getting ready to leave my then-boyfriend-now-husband’s apartment for class at NYU on the morning of 9/11. We stood in line for hours to donate blood. And then my government invaded two completely unrelated countries and jingoism and terrifying, fervent nationalism, and xenophobia just smacked me in the face. And friends of mine from high school were convicted to drop out of college and join the Army, and died, for an unjust, imperialist war, and suddenly Phil Ochs, John Prine, and Bob Dylan lyrics hit a lot different, and I understood what Gun Shy was really about.”

Day 27 - A song you hate by an artist you love

Mrs.Robinson by Simon & Garfunkel

“Paul Simon is one of my favorite songwriters ever, um, and I actually used to like Mrs. Robinson….until I got married and everyone sang it at me. It’s kind of my fault, I did choose to take my husband’s last name. And I leaned into it by making my social media handles all Mrs. Robinson...but still. Only play the song around me if you want to die.”

Day 28 - A song that a younger you would have loved

Mean by Taylor Swift

“I’m so genuinely glad that I am older than Taylor Swift. Middle school Franny did not need Taylor Swift to enable me and fuel my ego. Some of her singles, while not really 35 and 40 year old Franny’s cup of tea, young me would have played until my mother hid the record or cassette from me. Although - fuck if Tim McGraw didn’t immediately give my happily married ass flashbacks to my first love and make me bawl like a baby? Right, so when Speak Now came out and I listened to it, Mean, while not a song that adult me has listened to maybe more like ten times, I immediately thought ‘wow, I needed this song when I was in middle and high school.’ I could literally picture 7th grade me with my little guitar and my little cowboy boots my dad bought for me singing this at the talent show making eye contact with the kids who bullied me as if it was some kind of own when it’s not. I could still, almost thirty years later, name them if I really wanted. So, for 7th grade me, Mean by Taylor Swift.”

Day 29- A song that reminds you of your partner/spouse

ផាត់ជាយបណ្តូលចិត្ / Phat Cheay Bon'dol Chet by Sinn Sisamuth (translation) (female singer covering it) (modern, studio recording of a male and female singer dueting it) (a cool violin cover) (another female singer) (cool guitar cover)

Feat. some members of Seoul Hanoi’d. Andy Chaiyaporn (violin), Max Cho (piano), Jodie Batbayar (cello), Aisulu Niyazova-Li (percussion) and Franny has her guitar

“The song, lyrically, only reminds me of my husband a little bit. But Phat Cheay Bondol Chet has several memories with my husband attached to it. The first time he heard me sing in Khmer was at my mother’s house in Atlanta when I had him visit the first time to meet my parents. My mom had a little dinner party at our house to show him off, like Asian moms do when they think their daughter snags a good one, and I was hand washing the dishes while my mom and the other Cambodian parents were listening to Sinn Sisamuth records. I’ve always loved the song I’ll be showing y’all today, like I’ve always just stopped what I was doing and -- so it came on and I just started singing along without really being aware of it. And then at a different diaspora get together that summer, that song came on and I just kinda. Pulled him aside to the side yard of that person’s house to look at the stars with him and translated the song. It’s one of the Khmer songs he instantly recognizes now, so it’s special.”

Franny did NOT say in the video that college her 100% had him sit in the grass with her outside that person’s house, where nobody could see, so she could makeout with him

Day 30- A song by one of your favorite songwriters

Reincarnation by Roger Miller

Feat. Seoul Hanoi’d, done more in the style of the Cake cover

Also instead of singing the lyric “you’re a girl, I’m a boy” she goes “you’re a girl, so am I” because she doesn’t ever change pronouns, she just makes it gay because she is a bi-con

“Roger Miller, to me, is as important as Dolly Parton, Paul Simon, Bob Dylan, in the American songbook. He’s not as talked about which is a shame because his discography is iconic. Getting to be a part of King of The Road was one of the highlights of my career.”

#&&...hc

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cielleduciel · 4 years

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okay okay, Black Eagles/Crimson Flower. this is very long and very rambly bc i was mad and i probably repeat myself a lot but whatever

keep in mind going forward that this was my FE3H first route and the only one i've played so far, and it was... disappointing. i really, really want to like Edelgard as a character bc she seems interesting and she has so much potential, but fact is the game never allows her any sort of true depth, and never lets you interact with her in any meaningful way

and i hate to say it bc i ALWAYS go to bat for complex underappreciated female characters, which is what i was expecting out of this, but that's not... even what she is. none of her potential is ever realized. she's one-note and static and the writers seem to think that just throwing in a traumatic backstory (that never gets explored, even as it very obviously relates directly to her worldview) and a few cute/quirky character moments will give her depth, but it doesn't

the game really LOVES to try and play up this special bond between Edelgard and Byleth and how much Byleth means to her, but it never feels earned. she always says that she feels like she can tell Byleth anything and everything, but she doesn't. i have no better understanding about why she felt like she needed to do the things she did than i did at the end of part 1. all she ever says is that she has to do it all in the name of her ideals and a better future and it's the only way, and all i ever wanted throughout the entire route was to ask WHY ? WHY is this the only way ? WHY do you feel like this is the only thing you can do ? WHY are all other options off the table ?

she's cooperating directly with Those Who Slither In The Dark (TWSITD), who not only experimented on and tortured Edelgard herself and killed her siblings, but also killed Byleth's father, but we never explore the implications of that. hell, Edelgard's issues aside, Byleth themself has their own stake in this, their own very good reasons to question Edelgard and the lengths she's willing to go to in order to achieve this future of hers, but they're NEVER given the chance. if you choose her route, the game apparently assumes that you've decided to follow her without question or reserve, regardless of everything that happened, even though it makes no sense in context. at the end of the route, Edelgard even admits that she couldn't understand why Byleth wound up taking her side, and i wanted to SCREAM !!! LIKE YEAH, I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT EITHER ??? i was HOPING we would get to explore that at some point but I GUESS NOT ????

at most, Edelgard offers platitudes by saying that she too hates TWSITD and regrets everything they've done but still maintains that her alliance with them is necessary for the time being, because they are the best allies she has against the church, and she needs their strength. again, my question is: WHY ? because while i can see how they may have been useful to her in part 1, i didn't see them do ANYTHING to help her during the entirety of part 2. they had literally zero presence in any of the battles, were not even shown or mentioned aside from the moments where they were being CLEARLY ANTAGONISTIC towards her, like when they NUKED ARIANRHOD AS A "WARNING" as soon as Edelgard captured the city bc they were mad she killed one of their officers,

and yet she felt like she needed to spin the story to say it was the church's doing so as to like, save face and rally morale while maintaining their alliance, i guess, but why ?** even in the FINAL BATTLE AGAINST RHEA HERSELF, Arundel shows up ONLY to literally say "yeah i'm just here to watch lmao". so like, as far as i know from everything i have physically seen, we defeated the church without their help at all--in SPITE of their "help", even--which does not help me understand why her alliance with TWSITD is so necessary that Edelgard has to just grit her teeth, bear it, and cover for them until the war is over so that she can finally turn on them

(**i get not telling the entire army about Arianrhod to avoid panic and questions, but what was the point of lying to the rest of the Black Eagles ? why is it that Byleth, Edelgard, and Hubert seem to be the only ones allowed to know about the empire's workings with TWSITD ? like what was even the point of Edelgard revealing herself as the Flame Emperor at the end of part 1 ((which was also a totally botched scene but i'm not even gonna get into that here))? i thought the reason for that scene WAS to reveal the truth to everyone that she was working with TWSITD, we even had that whole dramatic battle where Edelgard had to fight her own house and professor bc of it ? but i guess it wasn't, bc none of them ever bring it up again, and the game still treats it like they should all still be in the dark about it, so ???)

on top of that, i still don't understand why she felt like she needed to antagonize the Alliance, or even the Kingdom, when her enemy is the church. like i get it, there’s no negotiating with the church as it is, violent conflict with them is inevitable and i’m not against that, i understand it and i can get behind it. but why didn't she ever try talking to the other two factions or working together w them or FORGING ALLIANCES instead of resorting immediately to violence ?** maybe i can believe that Dimitri and the Kingdom are a lost cause, but for example--and again now i haven't played the GD route, but from what i understand-- Claude's values are fairly similar to Edelgard's, and he does a lot of digging into the church on his own and is able to discover much of the truth. her alliance with TWSITD is apparently "necessary" but it never occurs to her to reach out to GOOD PEOPLE like Claude who would share her interests ? why ? why can’t we even bring it up ?

(**my confusion with this is best summed up by that one interaction she has with Dimitri in part 2, where before they're about to fight, he asks her, "Must you continue to conquer? Continue to kill?" and her response is literally, "Must you continue to reconquer? Continue to kill in retaliation?" like WHAT ? WHAT KIND OF CHILDISH "NO U" NONSENSE IS THAT ? YOU'RE LITERALLY THE AGGRESSOR HERE, ARE YOU REALLY TRYING TO TELL HIM HE SHOULD'VE JUST SAT BACK AND LET YOU TAKE THE KINGDOM WITHOUT EXPLAINING ANYTHING ? HE'S TRYING TO REACH OUT TO YOU, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS REFUSE TO GIVE HIM A STRAIGHT ANSWER. WHY ARE YOU BEING SO OBTUSE ABOUT THIS. WHAT IS THE REASON)

this isn't even getting into the fact that it becomes very obvious that Edelgard does not have the whole story behind the church and TWSITD, but there's no way to call that into question either. from what i understand from a few spoilers i've been given, she even gets some parts of the story flat-out wrong. this is The Story that she uses to justify all her actions, to herself and to others, and yet she's clearly missing key details, but we never get to question it, or investigate it further, or do anything about it

and what makes it suck extra is that, as i said, i really wanted so, so badly to love Edelgard. i wanted that bond between her and Byleth to feel real, and earned, and substantial. i wanted to work together and interact with her, to understand her, bc i genuinely sympathize with her goals. let’s erase inequality, abolish the nobility, destroy the crest system that sustains it, and tear down an oppressively intolerant religious institution ? hell yes sign me up bitch !!!! i don't like that we can't GUIDE her in her pursuit of that, or at least even try to understand why she's so committed to this horrific warpath she's on. bc why else would i have chosen to join her side and play her route ? why else is Byleth there, as her teacher ?

or maybe i'm not even supposed to sympathize with her or her cause, but they never make that point either ! like let's ignore what i want and entertain the notion that perhaps Edelgard's meant to be seen as clearly, dangerously radical and beyond all reason, that her route is supposed to be as close to a "bad" route as this game gets and you're supposed to feel guilty for helping her. i mean there definitely are points that made me go “uh, hey, what we’re doing here is kind of terrible”. the thing is they could've easily made that point at any time during her route, had moments where they highlighted the destruction left in Edelgard's wake as she "carves a bloody path" to her future with Byleth by her side, had her experience some kind of consequence for her actions or a "falling from grace" moment, exposed all the flawed logic behind her actions and examined how she came to be the way she is--but nothing like that ever happens. it’s just like “hooray we successfully invaded and conquered an independent nation :) on to the next one !” even in the epilogue, there's no downside to helping her win, no sort of realistic consequence like, idk, malcontent spreads, people aren’t happy that Edelgard took over their nation by force despite the reforms, riots flare up, etc etc., nothing that asks the player to stop and think about all this. they play everything straight but then refuse to give it meaning or make sense of any of it

and there's PLENTY of ways to make sense of it. even i can imagine some potential in-universe explanations to a lot of the "why" questions i have about Edelgard--why does she preemptively isolate herself from everyone that hasn't already demonstrated unconditional allegiance to her, why does she refuse to seek other allies or reach out to her peers like Dimitri or Claude for help and yet continue to associate with the dangerous group that is the source of her trauma, why does she rightly question one narrative while she never thinks to question the other, why does she resort to violence so quickly and easily even as she laments it, etc etc. the problem is that *the game itself* doesn't even THINK to try and address any of this, and so it's never able to make a point about any of it

so yeah, the point COULD'VE BEEN that she is too stubborn, too far gone, too caught up in her own narrative to comprehend that her actions are not as necessary as she thinks they are, too self-righteous to see the parallels between herself and Rhea as she needlessly sacrifices countless lives for her cause while she claims that HER life is too important to lose, too stuck in her own head to see the hypocrisy in her denouncement of the nobility and church and their treatment of the masses while SHE, Miss Imperial Royalty herself, throws others' lives away for her war--BUT the point is never made !! there's no statement from that point of view either ! there is literally no message ! Edelgard goes through no character development, positive or negative, despite all the groundwork for it being laid out plainly. she does not get a chance to grow, nor does she ever regress, nor is she ever faced with the consequences of her actions, and so no statement is ever made about her character or anything she represents

all the potential was there for Crimson Flower to have been a really good story, and that's why i'm so frustrated that i'm writing an essay about it. and it didn't HAVE to be a positive one with a happy ending, or even a mixed, bittersweet one, which i think would've been best. it easily could've been a tragic story about like, Byleth witnessing the fall of their misguided student firsthand as they try and fail to reach out to her, powerless to save her from herself as she drifts away from everybody, being forced into a position where her death becomes necessary in order to preserve the lives of others, or something--but it didn't try to do anything like that. it didn't try to do ANYTHING ! in fact, i would say her character is much more compelling in all the other routes where she DIES, if only bc at least then it feels like SOMETHING is being said about her character

the real kicker is that, at the end of Crimson Flower, it's said that Edelgard goes on to abolish the nobility, and yet in the epilogue she remains the emperor, and all your other units of noble birth still...... have noble titles and landholdings. not to mention i can't even be sure if the scene where Byleth's crest disappears is supposed to represent the disappearance of all crests, or just Byleth's ? so like i don't actually know what i'm supposed to think Edelgard accomplished ? what was the point of mindlessly helping her commit war crimes ? if not a character arc, or a plot resolution, or some greater message, or even the world state i was promised to get from siding with her, what exactly am i supposed to get out of this route ???

i keep thinking about how it feels in contrast to her progression in every other route, and to how Dimitri is written. bc when Byleth joins anyone else, Edelgard always dies, as Dimitri does. but unlike with Dimitri, intsys didn't adapt Edelgard's progression to Byleth's presence, beyond the simple facts of whether she wins/loses and lives/dies. what i’ve gathered from the other routes is that they portray her as a senselessly violent, incomprehensible, self-righteous kid with too much power who became consumed by it and then dies/is killed as a natural consequence of her own actions. i was expecting the difference in her route to be that we get to explore her side more and understand her inner workings and what could have led her down this path, and then to either get the chance to make a difference, or to be dragged down with her as a cautionary tale. but she STILL comes across as senselessly violent, incomprehensible, self-righteous and power-trippy, except now i get to enable her, and that’s presented as like, a genuinely wholesome thing ?

my gf has said that it feels like you're not meant to side with Edelgard, just from how poorly written and constructed her entire route is**, and i've been getting the same feeling. having finished it, the whole thing felt hollow. her actions and choices always feel absurd and frustrating because we never get any insight into what she's thinking, there's too much Telling and not enough Showing to back up any of the Telling, there are so many aspects of the route that don't make sense, and there's no ATTEMPT to make them make sense

(**seriously the production value felt so low at times that it got embarrassing to watch. like after part 1, Jeritza just dropped off the face of the planet with no explanation, and no one in the game ever brought him up again or even wondered where he was, not even Edelgard. then the recent game update suddenly added him to my roster right before i was about to finish the route, again with no explanation, and no in-game acknowledgement of this. which can only lead me to believe that Jeritza was actually SUPPOSED to be there the whole time but intsys.... forgot about him ? LIKE... THEY FORGOT TO WRITE THE DEATH KNIGHT INTO EDELGARD'S ROUTE ? WHAT)

in fact, it feels to me a lot like death was always the intended resolution for her character and everything was always written around that, but then they decided that wasn't an appropriate tone/direction to take for a route in which Byleth joins her, but then they weren't even bothered to really revise the route in any meaningful way so they just went "fuck it" and gave us.... whatever this mess is. but if so, if intsys really was so set on having her be this tragic misguided villain, i don't understand why they didn't commit to that narrative in her route as well, instead of just half-assing everything and doing nothing meaningful and wasting my time. hell i don't understand why they even bothered to include an Edelgard route if their hearts clearly weren't in it to begin with. just let her be the villain that you guys obviously wanted her to be and go

but, whatever. at least all the OTHER Black Eagle characters were great

#blog chatter #fe3h chatter #fe3h spoilers #feel free to chime in with thoughts or to fill in any missing information or whatever

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broomballkraken · 4 years

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Title: Shock and Awe, Chapter 1

Fandom: Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Pairing: Sylvain/Lorenz

Word count: 2391

Warnings: None

Summary: Sylvain runs into his insufferable rival Lorenz after not seeing him for a year. He is eager to battle him again after such a long time, but neither of them were prepared for what would transpire as they both sent out their first Pokemon...

“This is your fault, Sylvain.”

“My fault? How the hell is this my fault?”

“...When I think of how to word it properly, I’ll let you know.”

Sylvain shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket as he glowered at Lorenz, who stared back at him with an equally seething glare. Sylvain had not expected to run into his rival after not seeing him for a few years, especially this far north in Faerghus. They had crossed paths on the outskirts of Gautier, where Sylvain was just starting a journey back to Garrag Mach, where he and Lorenz had met five years ago.

All aspiring Pokemon trainers had to attend the Trainer’s Academy and graduate before they could choose a starter and begin their Gym Challenges. Sylvain had been pretty excited to finally get a Pokemon of his own, but he was even more excited to flirt with all of the beautiful girls at the academy. Unfortunately for him, Lorenz also had a bad flirting habit, and more often than not Sylvain spent more time arguing with Lorenz about who was better with the ladies than actually getting with any ladies. It had been an irritating time in his life.

Eventually, they had both graduated, with Sylvain choosing a Cyndaquil as a starter, while Lorenz picked a Snivy. They had gone their separate ways to complete their Gym Challenges, but they often ran into each other and engaged in heated battles. Sylvain won some and lost some, and he could never deny the fact that Lorenz made a damn good rival.

When their Gym Challenges came to an end, with both of them being defeated in the quarter finals of the Fódlan Championships, Sylvain had opted to focus on becoming strong enough to take over the Gautier Gym once his father retired. Lorenz left to do the same, as his father was the leader of the Gloucester Gym, and the two rivals had not seen each other since.

Sylvain did not anticipate reuniting with his rival ever again, let alone outside of his hometown, which was pretty far away from Lorenz’s own home. Lorenz apparently had been returning from Sreng after taking care of some business for his father, while Sylvain was on his way to Garrag Mach for the annual Gym Leader Summit. His father was also going, but Sylvain had left early so that he could take his time and do some training along the way, as well as pay a visit to his friend Dimitri, who had already taken up the mantle of gym leader in Fhirdiad after his father had unfortunately passed away a few years ago.

Sylvain almost didn’t recognize Lorenz when he first saw him. He had grown his hair out since their gym challenge days, which was a vast improvement to the disastrous bowl cut that he had sported back then. He was dressed in layers, more so than Sylvain due to the fact that he lived in a warmer climate. He looked like he was doing well for himself overall.

Lorenz had almost immediately asked for a battle, and Sylvain was eager to see how his rival had improved over the years. They had moved off of the road as to not disturb any travelers, into the thick foliage of the woods. Sylvain knew of a clearing next to a lake that would be perfect for battle, especially if Lorenz was planning on using water types.

When they both tossed their first poke balls, Sylvain was shocked at the sight. He had chosen his Toxtricity, Tox, who had just recently evolved and was proving to be an invaluable asset to his team. Lorenz had also sent out a Toxtricity, named Lavender, although his was the Low Key form, in contrast to Tox’s Amped. And that is where Sylvain’s current troubles began.

Tox took one look at Lavender and Sylvain could practically see the hearts form in his eyes as he bolted across the clearing. Tox stopped in front of Lavender and took her hands in his as he eagerly conversed with her, while she happily responded. Sylvain and Lorenz could only gawk at the scene, and their battle was over before it could even begin.

“Ugh...of all the Toxtricity in Fódlan, he had to fall for yours?” Sylvain grumbled, sighing as he sat down on a log.

“Please. My Lavender is an exceptional example of her species. She is much too good for anything trained by the likes of you.” Lorenz retorted, scoffing as he sat down on the other side of the log. Sylvain rolled his eyes and turned his gaze back to Tox and Lavender, who were cuddled up together by the edge of the lake. Sylvain’s had let his other Pokemon out to relax until he figured out what to do about this situation, and Lorenz had done the same.

Sylvain was not surprised to see that Lorenz’s team was much different than the one that he had used during the Gym Challenge, because his own had changed a lot too. Sylvain’s Rapidash was currently racing Lorenz’s Galarian Rapidash around the lake, and they looked to be having a good time of it. Lorenz’s Milotic was resting in the lake, splashing water lazily at Sylvain’s Luxray, who seemed to be egging her on by roaring and pawing in her direction. Lorenz’s Serperior, Roserade, and Froslass were chatting it up with Sylvain’s Typhlosion and Houndoom, while his Hydreigon took a nap under a tree. Well, at least their Pokemon were having a good time.

Sighing as he ran a hand through his hair, Sylvain pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of Tox and Lavender. He then opened his group chat with his best friends - Dimitri, Felix, and Ingrid - and sent it to them.

‘Aw! how cute! Tox found a girlfriend! <3’ Ingrid was the first to respond, and Sylvain pursed his lips as he typed out his response.

‘You won’t believe who that other toxtricity belongs to.’

‘???’

‘Lorenz Gloucester.’

‘LMAO sux to be you’ Felix had decided to chime in, and a sour look crossed Sylvain’s face.

‘Where’d you run into him?’ Dimitri finally joined in, and Sylvain quickly typed up a summary of the last couple hours of his life for them.

‘Oof, good luck with that.’ Felix said.

‘Do NOT separate them!!! they look so happy!’ Ingrid said at the same time, and Sylvain could practically feel her seething glare on him if he even considered the idea.

‘I’ll figure something out.’ Sylvain hit send and put his phone away, standing up as he turned to face Lorenz.

“Alright, Lorenz, what are we gonna do about this?” Sylvain asked, waving a hand in the direction of their love-struck Pokemon before crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well,” Lorenz said as he stood up and started pacing back and forth, his brow furrowing as he rubbed at his chin, “The obvious solution is for one of us to trade Tox or Lavender for the other, but I certainly would never give my precious Lavender up for anything.”

“Yeah, no way in hell I’ve giving up Tox.” Sylvain said, and he had to bite his tongue to stop himself from adding ‘especially to an irritating snob like you.’

“I thought so. The next obvious solution is for us to travel together-”

“Oh hell no!” Sylvain cut Lorenz off, and Lorenz narrowed his eyes coldly. “I can barely stand your company for a few hours. I am not crossing the entirety of Faerghus with you.”

“Yes, I detest the idea as well. The only other option is to break them up and go our separate ways.” Lorenz said, and Sylvain nodded.

“Yeah. I’m sure this is just a case of extreme infatuation. Tox may have caught his bad flirting habit from me…” Sylvain mumbled, and Lorenz laughed.

“Ah yes, you were quite the terrible flirt back in our academy days.”

“Oh like you’re one to talk! You were just as bad as me!”

“Oh no, not even close!

“Ugh, whatever!”

The two continued bickering as they crossed the clearing, stopping in front of Tox and Lavender, who blinked and cocked their heads at their trainers.

“Alright Tox, you’ve had your fun, it’s time to go. Say goodbye now.” Sylvain said, pulling out Tox’s poke ball and holding it out towards him.

“Come Lavender. You can do much, much better than this poor excuse of a Toxtricity.” Lorenz said, ignoring the heated glare that Sylvain sent his way.

Tox stared at his poke ball for a moment, and he narrowed his eyes and slapped it out of Sylvain’s grasp. He then growled and sent a spark of electricity shooting through Sylvain’s hand, causing him to jump and yelp in pain.

“Son of a bitch!” Sylvain hissed, jerking his hand to his chest. “What the fuck, Tox?” Tox just growled at him and sent another spark to the ground at his feet, causing Sylvain to jump back again.

“Just look at how barbaric he is. Lavender, dear, you really can do much better-” Lorenz started, but he was cut off when Lavender burst into tears and started wailing, the sorrowful sound deafening enough to cause Lorenz to wince and cover his ears. The sound then turned into an attack and Lorenz was launched off of his feet, with Sylvain following shortly after. Sylvain grunted as he hit the ground hard, and the wind was forcefully knocked from his lungs.

“W-Was that a Boomburst?” Sylvain gasped, wheezing as he tried to catch his breath.

“Yes…” Lorenz said, groaning as he struggled back to his feet. “She just learned it.” Lavender’s sobbing had caught the attention of the other Pokemon in the clearing, and Lorenz’s Serperior quickly slithered over to Lavender. She listened to Lavender’s pained wailing for a moment before she hissed and slithered over to Lorenz. Before Lorenz could say anything, his Serperior smacked him over the head with her tail.

“Ow! Serenity! What are you doing?” Lorenz said, rubbing his head as Serenity hissed at him. Lorenz listened patiently as she continued ‘talking’, and Sylvain wasn’t surprised that he could understand her. She had been Lorenz’s first Pokemon, after all, and Sylvain could also understand his Typhlosion pretty well after all the time that they’ve spent together.

“...I see your point. Very well.” Lorenz said, and he quickly made his way back over to Lavender, who was crying into Tox’s chest. He growled as Lorenz approached, and electricity sparked over his arms, and Lorenz’s wisely stopped.

“Lavender, my dear,” Lorenz said, and he paused until she turned to look at him, “I am terribly sorry. I did not mean to brush away your feelings so haphazardly. If you truly do love Tox, then I cannot in good conscious tear you away from him.” Lavender stared at him for a moment, before she let out a happy cry and ran to Lorenz, wrapping her arms around him and nuzzling her face against his chest.

“Hey, I’m sorry too, Tox.” Sylvain said, rubbing the back of his neck as he walked up to him. “I want you to be happy, so I guess I can put up with Lorenz for a while so that you and Lavender can be together.” Tox smiled brightly and chirped happily, pulling Sylvain to a bear hug.

“Alright, alright! I can’t breath here!” Sylvain wheezed, and he laughed when Tox let him go and licked him across the face. “Ugh, gross!”

“Well then,” Lorenz said, watching as Lavender ran back into Tox’s arms, embracing him tenderly, “I guess we will have to be traveling partners for a while, Sylvain.” Sylvain frowned and sighed, shrugging his shoulders.

“I guess so. Can’t be helped.”

“Where are you headed?”

“Garrag Mach. The Gym Leader Summit is in a month, so I thought I’d get a head start heading there so I could take my time and visit some friends along the way.”

“Ah, good.” Lorenz nodded as he pulled out his poke balls and started returning all of his Pokemon except for Lavender. “I am heading there as well. I will just have to tag along with you until we get there. By then maybe we can come up with a permanent solution to this...dilemma.”

“Fine. I think I can put up with you for that long. Maybe.” Sylvain said with a wink. He laughed when Lorenz pouted at him, and Sylvain returned all of his Pokemon sans Tox to their poke balls. “Ready to head out then?”

“Yes, let us get moving. Where is your first destination?”

“Fhirdiad. I want to pay a visit to my friends, Dimitri and Dedue.”

“Ah, Dimitri is the gym leader now, yes? I hear his team is quite a force to be reckoned with.” Lorenz said, his amethyst eyes lighting up. “I would love to test my mettle against him.”

“Yeah, he’s a tough one. The toughest gym leader in Faerghus currently. I’m itching to battle him as well. Wanna see if he gives me as much trouble as his dad did during my Gym Challenge.” Sylvain’s heart raced at the thought. He always felt the most poised and confident when in the heat of battle alongside his trusted Pokemon partners. When he eventually took over his father’s gym, he’d be making a living doing what he loved most, and that was why he always trained so hard.

“Oh, I’m sure he will. Compared to my skills as a trainer, you are leagues below me.” Lorenz said, chuckling as he brushed his hair over his shoulder. Sylvain rolled his eyes as they finished packing up their things and headed back to the road.

“Whatever, Lorenz. Whenever we get a chance to battle next, I’ll make you eat those words.”

“Oh, we shall see about that, Sylvain.”

Sylvain glowered at Lorenz as they began their journey to Garrag Mach, with their first destination being Fhirdiad. Tox and Lavender walked along behind them, hand-in-hand, and even though they were the cause of his current frustrating situation, Sylvain couldn’t help but feel happy for them. He supposed that putting up with Lorenz for a month was worth it...maybe. Sylvain sighed as he pulled out his phone to update the group chat on his interesting situation. This...was going to be a long month.

#fire emblem three houses #sylvain jose gautier #lorenz hellman gloucester #sylvenz #sylvain/lorenz #pokemon au #fanfiction #jade writes fanfiction

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no-d4y-but-tod4y · 4 years

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First off, I AM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THE QUESTIONS!! Dude, ahem, right and now I am composed, I ask you all of the IRL Thinking Game Asks, because I'm legit about to do them all and I refuse to the be the only one *Mega hugs* I bet your answers are going to be awesome. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 & 10 if we have to be official :D lol

WAIT Y O U WROTE THE QUESTIONS??? Lmao I had no idea! Hahahaha. Well good job!

You want me to answer all of them?? Lmao. Here goes nothing...

1) Has your FO ever caught you off guard IRL, and if so, what was your reaction? (So we are looking for moments where you saw their advertising in an unexpected place, or they were mentioned by someone unexpectedly, etc? And how you reacted to that).

Yes! All the time! Sometimes it’s easy to forget just how transcendent in popular culture rocky horror actually is. SO many people know the film and so many have seen the show. The longest theatrical release in cinematic history with the biggest cult following!

Rocky horror references do often pop up in tv shows, movies and on social media in general, and while few are directly referencing frank it still makes my heart go !!! when I’m just enjoying my day and I see it.

One time I specifically remember was when I was actually doing Christmas shopping, on my own just going in all the stores and having a good time. And I went into HMV and there was an ‘essential musicals’ section right at the front and guess who was taking up the entire display 👀 and I literally said ‘oh my god’ out loud so I hope nobody heard me!

2) If someone visited your house without any prior knowledge of your FO, would they be able to work out the connection through the items you own? (In other words, how any depictions of your FO are their in your house, and would it be obvious to a complete stranger that you love them?)

I guess so? I think they’d clock that I was a fan of rocky horror but maybe not the whole f/o thing. I have a signed picture of Tim Curry as Frank in my room and I have the film on DVD which I’ve watched five billion times. I have a cast signed DVD cover too with splices of the film reel in the frame, but I haven’t decided what to do with that one yet because you can only see them when the light is shining behind them lmao. And I guess if anyone read my fanfic they’d realise too. But most people know I love rocky horror/love frank because it’s all I talk about rather than material possessions lmao.

3) For those who are creatively minded: Where do you get your muse from? Just how do you create your awesome artwork/stories, and what inspires you?

Uhh, well I’m gonna go with my fanfic for this one because it’s the only thing to do with frank that I’ve created lmao. It’s still not finished by the way, but two years in the making! And I guess I wanted to start one because I’d been reading loads and although they were very good I didn’t feel like the depiction of frank was always accurate (or the way I imagined him to be). And I’ve always wanted to be a writer of some sort and I thought I could at least practice with something I already know and like. I didn’t expect to fall in love with it however and I’m still doing it now!

And I studied Media for two years, so I was always watching films and analysing scripts and shit like that, and being exposed to all that art all the time was really inspiring to me. I wanted to be like them, and I still do. If you choose to read my fic following on from this post, lemme know and say hi!

4) Angst: Have you ever struggled with the knowledge that you and your FO might never inhabit the same world?

Y E S. Some people might already know that I was conflicted about doing this for ages because as much as I understand selfshipping doesn’t hurt anyone, I didn’t wanna start longing for something I couldn’t have and then constantly feeling deprived. I WON’T catch feelings, I WON’T.

Lol what an idiot.

And I guess I just,,,love frank so much. And I think about him all the time. The turning point for me was definitely seeing him on stage, and having him that close to me sort of thing. And while I know that was just an actor - a normal guy with a kick ass singing voice dressed up - like, for those two hours,,,,it was really him? You know?? And then i got SO sad and emotional in the two weeks or so afterwards because I missed it so much and then I kind of had to accept that maybe this is a real thing now huh.

I would love to know what he’s really like and ask him shit and find out if he’s been in touch with me this whole time as well. But ultimately I’d wanna know if he’s proud of me. That’s the only thing that matters really.

5) If the Fates granted you a year with your FO in whichever world you wanted, at the cost of forgetting about them once that year was over, would you take them up on the offer?

I think I would? Based on what I just said in the previous ask and because if I forgot frank existed I wouldn’t have anything to miss? Although I’d have a feeling I’d wait till next year/my 21st because I’m still dealing with a lot of shit and I’d want to get that out the way first so I could really enjoy my time with him and not have to worry about anything else.

6) On the subject of Fates: Was the meeting between you and your most prominent FO ordained by Fate, or was it something you sought out? (In other words, did you fall in love easily and quickly, or did the Universe conspire against you to make this the person you now love?)

Uhhh....I don’t know? Basically what happened was I watched the film for the first time when I was 13. Secretly. And I didn’t tell anyone. Because I’d heard of it vaguely and recognised the title and of COURSE I knew the Time Warp, but everyone around me who ever mentioned it talked as if it were a bad thing, or a bit gross and weird? So I thought it was a bad thing to be watching it, however I was still intrigued so I did. AND I WAS ALSO BATTLING WITH THE WHOLE LIKING MEN WHO LOOKED LIKE WOMEN THING (because I thought I was abnormal to be thinking that and THAT was wrong as well) so when frank came out I was like gee. Thanks for that.

It was easy for me to not talk about it and to just get on with my life as normal until I turned about 15 when I watched the live show broadcast from London to cinemas around Britain and on TV as well. And don’t tell frank but THAT got the ball rolling for me. Seeing him as a real person reacting to what people were saying and doing made it harder for me to ignore those feelings if you catch my drift. So I kind of tested the water and luckily most people were like cool beans.

But when I went to college and everyone was relieved to finally be themselves I LET IT ALL GO and it became my BRAND to be obsessed with frank. And I loved it.

Gee. Which one do you guys think this is?

7) How often, when you are out and about alone, do you imagine your FO is with you? And what is the best imagining you’ve had recently?

ALL THE TIME. Literally every day. I’m an anxious person and small things continuously set me off so imagining a tall strong intimidating looking person but who’s a softie for me is really really comforting. And it helps with my daily life because I can make a conscious effort to Be More Frank. Aka, not give a flying fuck!

My favourite imagine is hearing ab enormous crash and finding frank folded up like a human pretzel in my wardrobe n we’re both like 😳. But then I’d be like huh guess you’re staying with me now, so I take him to work with me and introduce him to everyone and maybe let him have a go at what I do like a take your kid to work day. And then I’d show him around to all my favourite places and introduce him to my friends and since they all know how obsessed I am they’d be like no waaaaaayyyyy. For some reason he’d have a loaf of his own bags already packed so I’d love to do a kind of unboxing video and see all the stuff frank would take with him if he was going on holiday. I’d teach him how to use public transport n I’d get him a phone and teach him how to use it and get set up on all the apps and I would LOVE TO SEE WHAT HE POSTS and something else I’d love to do is give him some money and be like it’s yours buy whatever you want and then unbox all the bags he comes back with.

Not much then! Hehe.

8) If you were given the ability to legally marry your FO tomorrow, IRL, would you do it? And if you would, who would you invite, and if you wouldn’t, do you think it is something you would ever do?

I don’t think I would. Neither of us are keen on the idea of being tied down to anything. I don’t need a piece of paper to prove that I love him and aside from getting to wear a pretty dress and an entire day of attention, I don’t think frank is too fussed either!

Plus he can do all that shit at home hehe.

9) What do you imagine your life be like now, if your FO had never been in it?

I don’t know how to say this without sounding horrible but I don’t think it would be hugely different. Because I was so young when I ‘met’ him I don’t think it makes a difference, because no one can guess what their life is going to be like at 13.

Something that I do think would be different is I probably would have given in to social pressures and gotten myself a bf had I not toyed with this idea. I’ve been been interested in a bf/gf relationship, and having this to sort of account for what I would otherwise be experiencing without actually having to experience it? Sign me up.

10) And a happy one: Your FO manages to make contact with you in our world and leaves you a message on a mirror/other flat surface, what does the message say, and is that surface ever washed again?

Hi darling! I’m honoured to see you’ve kept me in your thoughts for all these years - although it’s worth saying you’ve always been in mine. I know I can’t be near you all the time but I hope you can sense when I am. I know you get scared sometimes but rest assured that I am keeping an eye on you and I’d never let anything bad happen to you. It’s no secret that you’re afraid of failing or being left behind while others accomplish their dreams but I know you can do this and I think you know it too - you just need a bonk on the head sometimes. Whatever happens, I’m proud of you. I’ve always been proud of you.

If you are not too long, I’ll wait for you all my life.

Love,

Frankie 💋

( @dclehnsherr )

#asked and answered #my favourite obsession #frank n furter #long post

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thehomierobbstark · 5 years

Text

Let’s Talk About Sex

Chapter 2 Intermission Chapter 3

Pairing: Erik Killmonger x Reader [#TeamErikDon’tDateWhiteChicks]

Prompt: Aight, so iOKnoW bout yall but… I got some mad ‘fears’ about sex 😂😂😂. I got so many questions, so many horrible imaginations, so many embarrassing ass scenarios I’ve thought of in my head about what might happen when I finally do the do. Basically, ya girl been thankin (thinking) too much, and I done fucked around and thought up this shit. HUUUUGEEE shoutout to the BP groupchat for not only always keeping me entertained but for feelin me on this fic lmao. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feel this way. Also shoutout to Poosy for her word contribution lmao.

A/N: Ya’ll…. this really the shit that be going thru my mind lmfao like this really what I think about XD. I tried color coding the dialogue because I thought it would be too confusing but then I failed so fuck it XD. Also, it may seem like some of the words are grammatically incorrect or misspelled n the dialogue but it’s because I wanted you to read it like you would a text or message to better understand the delivery.

Warnings: At the bottom 👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿n uhhhhh yeah sit back and enjoy the journey 😂😂😂😂

This is for all my lil cute ass black gorditas out there rockin back fat, belly rolls and thick ass thighs that touch!! x Reader is always gon be black, chubby, and sassy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Okayyy… you ready?”

“Yeah, I’m ready.” You fidget nervously, fingers sweating between the joints, your heart skipping beats while you keep your eyes locked with Erik’s.

“Alright on three. One…two…three!”

At the same time, both of you flip over your papers, holding them out in front of you to show each other.

Your eyes eagerly scan over Erik’s paper, mind quickly gobbling up all the information the printed form had to offer you.

Your brain checked off each result as it read through:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Patient: STEVENS, ERIK Gender: MALE Age: 26 DOB: 08/16/1992

COMPREHENSIVE STD PANEL RESULTS:

CHLAMYDIA NEGATIVE

GONORRHEA NEGATIVE

HIV TYPE 1 NON -REACTIVE

HIV TYPE 2 NON -REACTIVE

HERPES TYPE 1 NEGATIVE

HERPES TYPE 2 NEGATIVE

SYPHILIS RPR NEGATIVE

HEPATITIS A VIRUS ANITBODY NON -REACTIVE

HEPATITIS B VIRUS ANTIBODY NON -REACTIVE

HEPATITIS C VIRUS ANTIBODY NON -REACTIVE

Thank you for choosing Planned Parenthood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A huge sigh of relief releases from your chest, sounding like a gush of wind as it escapes through your lips.

“Oh okay, so thats how u feel,” Erik griped, giving you a side eye look.

You ignore him, not even bothering to look for his reaction at your results, knowing they were all negative like you both knew they’d be.

Just as quickly as it left, your anxiety came rearing back as you snatched his test from his hands to take a closer look, eyes wide. “Wait! What does Non - Reactive mean?!”

“So you just gon ignore me then.”

“That means negative right? Where’s my phone!” your hands swing out to the sides to blindly feel around the couch before scooping up your device.

“-_____- really.”

“Okay! Okay, google says a non-reactive result means…” You mumbled over the quick-definition google supplied as you looked for the important bits, scanning between the paper and your phone. “ … and that no anti-bodies were found! So no!”

“Omg.”

You do a little happy dance as you double check to make sure all five tests define non reactive in the same way while Erik rolls his eyes.

“Y/N you fr googled that.”

“Yes nigga! Sexual health is important and I wanna make sure I’m clear and confident in my understanding of the results!”

“Okay, well, you makin a nigga feel bad n shit gettin all worried over his test results. What, you don’t trust me baby?” Erik looks at you, and his face is pouted downcast, almost looking like a adorably sad pitbull.

“Aww baby no!” You deny, immediately throwing your arms around him to comfort him, pecking his forehead with annoying kisses as you smush his face into your chest. He grumbly accepts your kisses, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“But I mean…. you was kinda a thotpocket back in the day tho..” You joke, shrugging, and he playfully pushes you back and sucks his teeth.

“Mann stfu. You just acting all extra cuz your body count lower.”

“Erik, for the last time, I’ve never had sex before.” You say, crossing your arms to help your statement seem more serious than you felt. Erik was always messing with you, saying he couldn’t believe that you’d never had sex before at 25, and that there was just no way.

“Nah.” He states simply.

Your neck reels back a little bit.

“Wachu mean Nah??” You get ready to defend your undefiled past and the normalcy of 20+ virgins when he leans forward to nibble on your neck, distracting you.

“I mean..” He pulls your waist against him and reaches back to grab two handfuls of ass as he keeps nibbling.

“…nah, ain’t no fuckin way you this damn fine and you ain’t ever had nobody at least worship for hours between these thighs.” He rubs all over you, fingers gliding across the beautiful curves and body rolls that covered your voluptuous frame as he presses hungry kisses with delicious pressure against your throat.

“Nigga, you’re corny as fuck.” you try to insult him, but he gives a fat wet lick right above your collarbone that feels so good, and he squeezes your ass at the breathy moan that slips out of your mouth.

He pauses his ministrations on your body and pulls back from you, chuckling and shaking his head a little before resting his forehead against yours.

“What?” You ask him, thinking he’s poking fun at you. While you may have technically been a virgin, you and Erik had definitely been routinely messing around a lot.

In between your latest heavy petting and make out sessions, Erik had a bet going to see how quickly he could get you to moan without sticking his hands down your pants. He bet 30 seconds, you bet 45. So far you hadn’t been able to make it past 38.

“You’re the horniest, freakiest, yet most innocent virgin I’ve ever met.”

A part of you wanted to ask just how many virgins he’d met, but you decided to nip your jealous possessive side in the bud before it could get the better of you. It wasn’t time for her right now.

He leans back to look you in the face, his eyes pulling at the corners exposing the teasing smile he was trying to hide.

“Umm excuse me?! What do you mean innocent? If I recall correctly, didn’t I just have you creaming your bitch ass pants the other week from just grinding on you?” You throw at him, triumphantly crossing your arms and looking down at him.

“Why they gotta be bitch ass tho.”

When you’re heavy petting session last week had suddenly turned into a full blown dry grinding competition, Erik had been so caught off guard by the intensity he actually came all over himself inside his brand new black velvet joggers he’d just bought (in your defense, the velvet did feel really nice against the thong you had on).

The bewildered look on his face made you laugh so hard, you actually keeled over and fell off the arm of the couch. He was over it at that point, storming off to the bathroom muttering threats about ‘getting that ass back,”, hence the bet you were currently losing.

“Also, lets not act like you not the same girl who can’t even watch male masturbation videos without making a face.”

“First of all there’s nothing sexy about seeing a dude jack off, so you can stop right there.”

“That’s because you’ve never seen ME jack off.” He jokes crudely. “Bet money I’d have your mouth watering within the first five strokes.”

“Probably watering because I’m bout to throw up,” You giggle childishly, a goofy grin on your face.

“Aight Y/N, you keep talking all that shit and we gon see who really still bout that action once I get them panties off.”

Your giggles come to a screeching halt as you gasp, and he buries his teeth in the side of your neck, his hands starting to wonder down south into the back of your compression shorts.

You fight hard not to moan again this time while he chews lightly on your neck when you suddenly start to feel self conscious.

You unconsciously start squirming around on top of him, both in pleasure and slight confusion as he massages your cheeks, one in each hand, pulling and scrunching them between his fingers. Your anxiety starts to slowly creep back up on you, and when he draws a line with his finger down your panties between your cheeks, you involuntarily clench up and yelp just as he reaches your taint. The feeling was stuck somewhere being too good yet too much at the same time. You damn near squeezed his finger to death before it could even reach its destination.

“Okay look,” you pull back, trying to reason with both him and your body. You didn’t mean to get jumpy all of a sudden but it’s like your muscles had a mind of their own.

“Baby wassup?” He immediately stops his movements and pulls his hands from you. “Did I hurt you?!” He immediately switched over from his sexually deviant demeanor to his overprotective one, concern lining his face.

“No, no baby your fine I’m just,” You blow out a breath, a little embarrassed by how twitchy you just got, and you try to shake it off by laughing at yourself.

It’s not like Erik had never groped you there before, but for some reason it felt 10x more serious now that you both basically had the green light since you’d received your test results back.

You knew both of you would almost immediately try to jump each other’s bones once you’d get the chance, but now that it was here it’s like the part of your brain that was previously occupied with worries of false negatives and unclear test results had been replaced with insecurities you didn’t even realize you had until this very moment.

“What? You good?” Erik was still studying your face, trying to see where your head was at.

“Yeah, yeah, no I’m good,” You close your eyes and nod quickly, “I just…umm…”, you’re face grows hot as you try to get out the next words, “.. I just got a little…. nervous…??” You peek an eye open. “I guess???”

You were trying so hard to relax and let go of your anxiety, but you just couldn’t stop feeling so nervous. Especially not when you started to worry about what he might think about it.

“Can I uh.. maybe take a shower first? Or something?” You said trying to gear the conversation back into a normal flow. If you could just take a shower real quick…

“Yeah, of course, but what’s this about?” He still looked at you, eyeing you cautiously.

“I just don’t feel clean right now,” you say, making up excuses trying to find a way out of his wandering hands.

“Y/N, I just finished rubbing your clit in the car ride over here, what do you mean you’re not clean? Are you worried that I’m worried about that?” he asks you, not believing you’re serious about this.

“I meannn, it’s been like 30 minutes tho.” You lie.

“Y/N, I don’t care about that. I’m tryna see how you taste now and then. I don’t care if you still have cum on you, I’m eating that too.”

“Okay well I have to go to the bathroom, so..” You try to move off of him and onto the floor but he holds you still, not letting you escape.

Erik sighs. “Y/N, whats really goin on? It’s okay, you can tell me.” His eyes shift between yours like he’s trying to find the answer. “If you’re not ready to have sex yet, that’s okay. We don’t have to do this today baby.” He rubs at your legs tenderly, trying to comfort you.

“No, it’s not that, I just…” He raises his eyebrows expectantly, waiting for your next words. “I wanted to shave first. Because I have hair.”

He raises an eyebrow at you. “Shave? I just felt how trimmed you were-”

“Not that part.” You state plainly, hoping he’d catch your drift but have enough decency not to make it too obvious once he did.

“Y/N, I swear to god if you say legs I’m gonna-”

“Oh my God Erik my asshole, okay! I need to shave my asshole!” Your face is burning now from the embarrassment of having to say that out loud to your boyfriend and you feel like melting right into the couch into a puddle of nothingness.

The silence only lasts two seconds, but its one second too long for you and you try and scramble off his lap to go hide in the bathroom in shame. A gigantic bark of laughter breaks through from Erik’s chest, and it scares the life out of you, causing you to accidentally stumble onto the floor.

Erik’s doubled over in laughter now, tears threatening his eyes and you almost think he’s laughing at you when he rolls off the couch after you, laying his heavy body on top of yours and pinning you to the floor to keep you from getting away. He gets his last bits of laughter out with his face buried in your middle, and when he finally calms down he looks up, resting his chin on your torso.

“Y/N,” He states, looking at you.

“Erik.” you answer, avoiding his eyes.

“Y/N.” He leans in closer to you.

You clear your throat, still looking off somewhere else. “What Erik.”

“Do you really honestly think that some ass hair is gonna gross me out. Do you really think that?” He’s still smiling, looking at you with so much amusement and pure love in his eyes.

When he puts it that way, it makes you feel a little ridiculous thinking about how weird you just got over body hair.

“I mean… kinda?” You say honestly, and you finally look back at him.

“I know it seems stupid but I feel like thats not..”

“Normal?” He supplies for you. You nod your head in agreement.

“Baby,” he softly says, “Ass hair is totally normal. You know that.”

You did. “But I still feel like no one ever talks about it, and you never see it in porn. Not even the homemade ones.” Yeah sure it was normal but it still felt like this dirty ugly thing no one was supposed to speak about.

“Babygirl a lot of people have ass hair. Shit, I have ass hair. Most of the girls I’ve been with had ass hair.” He chuckles again a little, comfortable with the topic you were so afraid was gonna be awkward.

Your ears prick up at his last sentence, and you lean up a little bit. Something he said caught your attention and you looked at him intently.

“Really?” You ask, looking him in the eyes.

“Really what?” He looks at you confused.

“Really, most of the girls you’ve been with had ass hair?” You look up at him, so shocked.

“Yeah. And the ones who didn’t were always waxed anyway. I promise you baby, its not a weird thing.” He assures you, trying to make sure you really understood him.

You sat there for a second, looking off into space as your thoughts started working. And then just like that, your mind all but cleared itself as realization finally dawned on you. And you started laughing.

Not a single part of you could really care how many chicks Erik had slept with, you were just so glad that almost all of them had ass hair just like you did. You were honestly so grateful that he told you that last part, otherwise you would have never been sure whether or not you really believed him when he said it didn’t bother him.

In this one, small, truly insignificant instance with Erik, you were for once really glad you weren’t an exception to the rule.

Erik joins in your humble laughter, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. You close your eyes and kiss back, returning it with softer slower kisses as you wrap your arms around his neck and hold him close.

After a minute he breaks away, letting his forehead rest against yours.

“I really love you Y/N. And the fact that you want me to be the one to share this experience with you makes me feel really lucky,”. He rolls you both over onto your side on the floor, giving your body a break from his heavy frame, and to be able to look at you better.

“I’d never jeopardize what we have for something as trivial as body hair. I mean, sometimes I still can’t even believe that I really get to call you all mine, and I just refuse to believe that nobody else has been able to see what’s been so obvious to me from the beginning.”

Erik shuffles around nervously under your gaze, and this time he’s the one trying to avoid your eyes. You could tell he was in a really vulnerable state, not only from his body language but also with how he was trying to verbally express himself. It was always really difficult for the both of you to say how you felt about each other, not because you didn’t know the words, but because for some reason they always seemed to sound wrong in your ears once they came out your mouth.

You, however, knew exactly what he was trying to say, because he’d said it before. Not with words, but with actions.

Ever since Erik met you a year ago he’d done just about everything he could think of to let you know that he was all about you. Constant flirting, unexpected phone calls, surprise gifts to let you know he was thinking of you. It had thrown you off at first because you’d never been in a relationship before, so you couldn’t figure out if he was playing with you or not.

It took three whole months of nearly daily texting, dinner dates, late night car drives and ugly pre-work facetime calls (he swears you always looked beautiful, but the never ending eye crust you were always finding kept you second guessing) for you to finally take him seriously.

After a long conversation with yourself about taking chances and ‘trusting the universe’, you let yourself fall head first into the completely new experience of a relationship with Erik. You were determined to come out the other side just as soft and open-hearted as you were going into it, refusing to let whatever experience you had turn you cold to the idea of romantic love.

And so far, the experience had been everything you could’ve hoped for, and so much more.

Sure, there were bad days, and you were still too stubborn and he was too bossy and you both definitely needed to learn to listen more. But you were sohappy. And for the first time, you felt something with him you hadn’t been able to feel in a really long time. You felt secure.

So Erik didn’t need to say anything else, because you already knew exactly what he what he was trying to say.

He shifted his eyes again, about to open his mouth to try again and clarify when you cup his face in your hand, running a thumb over his lips to shush him.

“It’s okay Erik. I know.”

And you did.

The truth was, before him, you’d never really let anyone get close enough to try and be with you in a romantic way. You were always brushing off advances you thought were too good to be true and downplaying the other person’s feelings, no matter how hard you felt yours. For a long time you thought that maybe you weren’t supposed to end up with anyone at all, and that your life journey was supposed to be about learning how to be on your own instead or something.

While you didn’t consider romance to be a super important part of life, you always wondered if maybe there was something that you were missing out on. You almost felt broken sometimes, like maybe there was just something about you that made you unworthy of being loved and cherished the way you saw your friends and family being by their significant others.

It took a lot of hard work and self reflection for you to finally get away from your negative thoughts, and you still struggled from time to time, but you were doing a lot better.

Being with Erik didn’t solve your problems, or cure your self doubt, or make you feel ‘complete’, but it did make you feel really warm and safe inside, and neither of you were willing to give up that feeling.

So he was right. He really did get to call you all his in every sense of the word. You took a chance on love, and you were lucky enough to fall into it with someone who shared just as much passion as you did. You’d be crazy not to give something like that your all.

Both of you lay there on the floor, looking into each others eyes with a level of understanding and comfort you weren’t sure you’d ever be able to truly explain. He holds your hand drawing heart shapes into your palm, the only sound being your favorite Spotify playlist that you didn’t realize was playing off in the background somewhere.

You’d been working on that playlist since before you even met Erik, song choices ranging from early 70′s love songs to present day baby makers. It was your sex playlist. Even if you weren’t in the mood most of your favorite songs were on there.

“When did it start playing music?” your eyebrows furrow in confusion, peeking around for the source of the speakers.

“When I was trying to seduce your jumpy ass on the couch,” he answers matter-of-factly.

“N’Jadaka Stevens, were you trying to woo me?!” You tease him, poking at his stomach trying to tickle him a little bit.

He suck his teeth, caught. “Ok, maybe I was. So what?’

“Awww…” you say dramatically, making a show of it. You pause for a second “… gay ass.”

He laughs, mushing your face away, grinning like a little boy.

“Whatever. Shut your goofy ass up and come over here and lose this bet again.” He says, fake annoyed, and gets up to sit back on the couch, pulling you with him. You settle into his lap, resting your arms in place around his shoulders.

He starts placing soft kisses on your shoulders, starting off slowly. You already knew how this was gonna go and you throw your head back, whining.

“Ugh, I’m tired of losing this game dammit,” You huff to cover up the moan you already felt creeping up your throat. “Can’t we just skip to the fun part pleasee?”

You amp it up a little by plastering on an obnoxiously toothy smile, and he purposely ignores you to keep from faltering under your heart-melting grin.

“Mmmm…” He fake thinks about it for a moment, moving his lips up to the crook of your neck to tickle you with the vibrations. “No.”

Before you even get the chance to pout he scoops up your face in his hand, squeezing a little to make your lips poke out cutely.

“Nuh-uh. Don’t even start that shit.” He deadpans. “If you want me to fuck you, you need to open up your mouth and say it. Otherwise sit back and hush and let me warm up my dinner.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warnings: A lil cheesy, a lil corny, a lil cliché, a lil fluffy. Just a lil of errthang XD. Also! Dare I say… romance?!?! (O.o)

Oh yeah this is a new series. Did I forget to mention that?

“Homie, how tf you gonna make a whole new series and you can’t even finish the ones you ha-”

Hush now child.

#lets not drag me for something i can't explain XD XD XD XD #erik killmonger #erik killmonger x reader #erik killmonger x black!reader #black panther #bp #black panther fanfiction #black panther fandom #TheHomieFics #l.t.a.s.

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milfgritty · 5 years

Text

prove me wrong | j. hughes

❀ ⇢ requested: yes | no ❀ ⇢ word count: 3.3k ❀ ⇢ a/n: so. this got long. to the anon who requested this, i ended up tweaking it a lot to fit the plot and draw things out more so hopefully you enjoy the changes! also let’s just pretend the matthews fam live in michigan lmao

⇢ posted: 01.17.19 . | . masterlist prev. | next.

Being the younger sister of Auston Matthews definitely had its perks.

Along with those perks, however, came a few downfalls. One of which included the fact that most people that attempted to befriend you were most likely in it because of who your brother was.

Needless to say, you didn’t have many friends.

The one friend you did have was Beth, who’s known you since you were a child and has seen so many of the less than amazing things that Auston has done that it didn’t really matter to her that he was considered a phenomenal NHL player.

To her, he would always be her best friend’s older brother who once almost peed his pants when the two of you convinced him to take you to a haunted house when you were younger. And for that, you couldn’t be more grateful.

Of course, she also uses your love for her against you, like now.

“Come on, Y/N, what’s the big deal about going to a game with me?” Beth whined, trailing behind you down the aisle of your local corner store, ignoring the looks of the people around you.

“You barely like hockey, Beth,” you pointed out, grabbing a bag of chips off the shelf to add into your growing pile for movie night. “Well maybe I’ve changed my mind,” she shrugged, coming up next to you to lean on the shelf before quickly moving away when it started to tip over.

Resisting the urge to laugh, you passed by her to get something to drink, “Yea, because I totally believe that. What’s the real reason?”

She gave you an innocent look, giving in only when you looked pointedly at her. “Fine, okay,” she sighed, settling against the wall next to you, “I’ve been talking to one of the guys that play for them and he said that I should come.”

“Seriously, Beth?”

“What? He’s cute!” She exclaimed, her eyes widening.

“I’m not going to a hockey game with you because you think one of the guys are cute,” you told her, shaking your head and hauling your pile to the counter to pay.

Beth followed suit, continuing to badger you. “Why not?” She demanded, “You like hockey, remember?”

“Beth, do you know how many people will be there that’ll probably know who my brother is? You know how much I hate dealing with that kind of thing,” you placed everything down on the counter, pausing to smile at the cashier.

“Ple-eaaaaaase Y/N, I’m begging you. I’ll do anything,” Beth pleaded, pushing herself into your side and clasping her hands together, giving you her signature puppy dog look.

“Sorry, no,” you said, refusing to give in.

She stayed quiet and continued to stare at you, adding in a pout. The sight got a smile out of you and a breathy laugh as you shook her head. Opening your mouth to speak, you were cut off by the cashier handing you your bag.

“That’ll be 11.50,�� he told you, resting his elbows down on the surface in front of him.

“Have a nice day, Y/N,” was his response after you paid. “Thanks. You too, Greg,” you replied, turning to leave. Eyes falling onto Beth, you held back another sigh at her persistence.

“Fine,” you finally gave in, “but only if you carry the bag,”

Laughing as she squealed excitedly, you braced yourself for her inevitable hug. She threw her arms around you and pressed an overzealous kiss to your cheek, yelling out a ‘thank you!’ before happily taking the bag. Smiling at her obvious joy, you admitted to yourself that going to the game wasn’t the worst thing if it made her so happy.

You changed your tune very quickly when you arrived at the game the next day.

Pulling your jacket closer to your body, you ignored the looks you were getting from some of the kids that went to school with you. Beth, oblivious to the attention, chatted away cheerily as she led you to your seats to watch the warm ups.

Eyeing the boys already out on the ice, you attempted to figure out which one was Beth’s guy. Your gaze roamed slowly over the various players, unable to pick out any that fit the kind of guy you knew Beth liked. It wasn’t until the goalie that was stretching stood up and took off his mask that you had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes.

“Beth,” you started, head rolling to the side to look at her, “Please don’t tell me the guy you’ve been talking to is Spencer Knight.”

At her sheepish expression, your head tipped back with a groan before falling forward into your hands as your shoulders shook with laughter.

“You’re ridiculous, Bethy,” you looked at her fondly, grinning when she shrugged and went back to staring at who you’ve dubbed her new boy toy.

As Beth managed to distract you, another exchange was taking place between the boys down on the ice.

Spencer skated over to where a few of his teammates were huddled up stickhandling and passing pucks to each other, among them being Jack and Alex.

“Hey,” he nodded at the guys, getting their attention, “The section over from the bench, a few rows up. Girl in the dark blue beanie.”

“That the girl you’ve been texting nonstop?” One of them teased, only succeeding in receiving a smug smile and nod.

Another bumped Spencer’s shoulder, going to make a comment when Alex cut him off.

“Isn’t that one of Auston Matthew’s younger sisters?” He asked, gesturing vaguely to the girl next to Spencer’s.

Jack, who had remained quietly amused up until then, found his eyes drawn to the girl in question. When his gaze fell on her he froze up automatically, his skate nearly coming out from under him as he mishandled a puck.

His reaction didn’t go unnoticed by his teammates, the likes of whom quickly ganged up on him.

“Ooh,” one began, laughing and poking at him, “Hughes has a crush, doesn’t he?”

“Shut up,” he responded, slapping his glove away. A wave of laughter rang through the group causing Jack to roll his eyes.

Alex reigned in his laughter first, “I mean, I can’t blame him. She is pretty hot.”

Agreements came from the rest before Spencer cut in.

“You know, I could probably set you up,” he hinted, smirking at the way Jack hesitated for a split second. “I don’t have a damn crush,” Jack insisted, though his words were ignored and replaced with more teasing as he skated away from them.

The attention went unnoticed by both you and Beth somehow. Beth was still successfully keeping your focus off the looks from the people around you that had persisted. You found your gaze being drawn back to the ice after a bit, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Beth.

“What are you looking at so much?” She asked, bumping your shoulder with hers as she tried to follow your gaze.

“Hmm?” You questioned absentmindedly, quickly snapping out of it and refocusing on her.

Beth grinned knowingly, her eyes narrowing and giving you a bad feeling. “You were staring at one of the guys, weren’t you?” She accused.

Your denial was contradicted by the light dusting of pink that was spreading across your cheeks.

“Oh my god, you totally were!” She laughed gleefully, returning to watching the guys on the ice with renewed vigor. “Who was it?” She questioned, before pausing and turning back to you with an evil smile.

“Was it Hughes?”

Sputtering in shock, you accidentally began choking on your own saliva. Her hand came down to thump you on the back while she began celebrating her accurate guessing skills.

“I knew it,” Beth giggled, “He’s so your type.”

“Beth!” You gasped out, placing your hands on your cheeks to get them to cool down. “Okay, fine. I was staring at Jack,” you confirmed, slumping down in your seat and choosing to just cover your entire face.

“That’s so cute,” Beth cooed, reaching out to pinch your cheeks before you batted her hands away. “I could totally try and get Spencer to help set you two up, you know,” she told you, rubbing her hands that you had hit. Her maniacal grin only grew when you looked back up at her in panic.

“Don’t you dare, Elizabeth,” you warned, rising back up to point a finger in her face.

Her nose crinkled at the use of her full name, rolling her eyes at your dramatics. “Fine,” she grumbled, slouching in her seat with a pout, her arms crossing over her chest.

The two of you sat in silence for the next few minutes until the game finally started. Reluctantly, you found yourself quickly being sucked into it. When the other team scored first to take the lead, you booed along with everyone else. And the next minute had you leaping to your feet and screaming when they tied it up.

The game continued like that, one team scoring and taking the lead only for the other to respond and tie it right back up. During intermission, you were subjected to Beth subtly pointing out every accomplishment of Jack’s because while she didn’t exactly like the sport, after years of being around you she at least knew the game. You tried to derail her by commenting on every good save Spencer had made that period, but it just didn’t stick.

The other team took the lead with five minutes left in the third and as the clock ticked down, it seemed like that was it.

That was, of course, until Jack scored with 13 seconds left on the clock to send it to OT.

Your throat was hoarse from yelling at that point, but that didn’t stop you from screaming once more with exuberance. Even Beth had jumped and pulled you into a hug, which was saying something.

Overtime started up quickly, and just as swift as it began, it ended.

Jack had scored again, and this time it was the game winning goal.

The crowd erupted with that last goal, just as the rest of the team skated onto the ice and piled up onto each other in celebration. The win left you with a high, feeling light with joy. Beth and you began to wander out, but she stopped you.

“I might have told Spencer that we would wait for him,” she winced, looking at you with a hopeful smile.

“Please don’t tell me we’re giving him a ride home, too,” you joked back, your good mood making you more cooperative. The two of you giggled as you continued on to where Beth said you would meet up with him at.

The wait didn’t take as long as you expected, you thought to yourself when you saw Beth light up. Your back was to where you assumed Spencer was and something about the way Beth was smiling at you was giving you a bad feeling. As you turned your head to peer back, you realized why.

Walking alongside Spencer was Jack.

Swallowing nervously, you became aware of your surroundings again when Beth nudged you. Snapping your head back to glare at her, you hissed, “Did you do this?”

“Nope,” she whispered back, but the unmistakable slyness tinging her expression was enough for you to doubt her.

“Hey,” her smile somehow widened as Spencer approached, springing into his arms when he came close enough. “Hey,” he parroted back, laughing and matching her smile. He caught her and hugged her tightly, leaving you feeling like a third wheel to the pair that were closer than you had previously assumed.

Well, you thought as you sneaked a glance at Jack, not exactly a third wheel.

“You had such a good game,” you overheard Beth tell Spencer, the two of them giggling while holding the other close. You averted your eyes as fast as possible, feeling like you were seeing something personal that you weren’t supposed to.

Eyes finding Jack again, you got the impression that he felt the same way.

Finally, it seemed like the lovebirds realized they weren’t alone and broke apart. They remained pressed closely together, but you supposed it was better than before.

“Spencer,” Beth began, pulling him by the hand over to where you and Jack were awkwardly standing, “This is my best friend, Y/N.”

Raising your hand in a half wave, you smiled up at him. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Beth always talks about you,” he laughed, glancing down at Beth with a grin as she playfully slapped his chest from her position nestled into his side.

“All good things I hope,” you grinned, gaze flitting between them and admiring the way Spencer seemed to be unable to keep his eyes off Beth. You were pleased to see that he seemed to actually like her a lot, just as much as Beth seemed to like him. It did confuse you a bit as to why Beth hadn’t really mentioned him before.

“Mostly,” Beth replied for Spencer, smiling cheekily back at you causing you to scoff.

“Great. Mostly,” you commented dryly, rolling your eyes without any heat behind it.

Your words sparked laughter amongst the group, the mood lightening up from a few minutes ago. “Oh yea, this is Jack by the way,” Spencer said after a second, remembering that he hadn’t introduced Jack yet.

You gave him the same half wave and smile you gave Spencer, your eyes lingering a bit longer on him. Jack mirrored you before shoving his hand back into his pocket and ducking his head. The lighting was dim enough that you could almost convince yourself that you were imagining the slight blush on his face.

After that, it seemed like Beth and Spencer had retreated back into their bubble. You wouldn’t have minded that much if that didn’t mean you were left in awkward silence with Jack.

The quiet stretched on for what felt like an eternity before Jack broke it.

“You’re Auston Matthews’ sister, right?” He asked.

And just like that, you retreated back into yourself.

“Yes,” you answered curtly, lips thinning out as you avoided his gaze.

Jack realized his mistake within a few seconds, apologizing soon after, “Shit, sorry. I didn’t realize that was something you didn’t like to talk about.”

Smiling tightly, you accepted his apology, “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

The silence came back with a vengeance, neither of you wanting to talk afterward. Jack, in fear of saying something wrong again, and you, well, you just didn’t know what to say.

You caught Beth’s eye while looking around aimlessly, becoming confused before realizing that she was gesturing at Jack with her eyes. Giving an imperceptible shake of your head, you turned away. Noticing Spencer giving Jack a similar look, you furrowed your brows, puzzled.

“This is really weird, but can I maybe get your number?”

Startled, you nearly jumped as you snapped your head back to look at Jack. “What?” You squeaked out, shocked that he was asking until you realized it probably had something to do with you being Auston’s little sister.

Jack shifted his weight, shuffling his feet. He met your eyes after a beat, appearing to brace himself.

“Or you know, I can give you my number and you can decide where to go from there,” he continued, bouncing on his toes as he waited for your answer. A thought of how adorable he looked invaded your mind but you swiftly banished it.

Opening your mouth to respond, you noticed Beth glaring at you and nodding her head ever so slightly. Gritting your teeth, you jerkily nodded in agreement.

Unlocking your phone and handing it to him, you felt tingly as you watched him. Butterflies were fluttering around rapidly in your stomach and you could confidently say that you hated it.

When he went to hand it back, your fingers brushed. Sucking in a breath, you snatched your hand back to your side in a panic, clutching your phone tightly.

Next thing you knew, Beth was skidding to your side and laying a hand on your arm. “Calm down,” she hissed, her lips barely moving before she spoke louder. “We should actually get going,” she told the boys, “We have a bit of a drive.”

Goodbyes were exchanged, some more awkward than others, and then you were climbing into your car. Barely pulling out of the parking lot, Beth turned to you with a look of exasperation.

“What happened back there?” She nearly yelled, her hands flying about. Sparing her a glance while keeping your eyes on the road, you shrugged.

“Seriously, Y/N. Everything was going fine and then I look over and you’re practically glaring at the poor guy,” Beth exclaimed, falling back into the seat and throwing her hands up.

Opening and closing your mouth, you thought about it. “I don’t know, okay?” You finally responded, giving a more violent shrug than the last one. “He just, one minute it was quiet and then suddenly his first words were to ask me if I was Aus’s sister and I just freaked out, okay?” You rushed out, refusing to look at her.

Beth didn’t speak for awhile after that and when she did it was calmer than her outburst.

“Is that why? Because he immediately led in with the Auston thing?” She asked softly, and you could practically feel her sympathetic—or pitying, you weren’t entirely sure—gaze.

“You know the answer to that, Bethy,” you responded in a whisper.

Silence descended upon the car again, though it was more understanding than the previous ones.

“I don’t think he’s like who you’re thinking of, babe,” Beth told you. Stopping at the light you looked over at her. Her face was looking out the window, but even like that, you could see the sadness on her face, sadness that was for you. Her features were pulled together in a way that made your ache and you turned back around, unable to look any longer.

“You don’t know that,” your voice came out weaker than you wanted it to, putting more effort than you needed to as you made a turn. “He’s in a different position, Jack,” Beth started and out of the corner of your eye you saw her turn to face you, “He’s expected to be drafted first overall like Aus was, why would he focus on him like that?”

“You never know,” you said, though your argument wasn’t strong and you knew it.

Beth sighed and shook her head, sitting back. “Look, you have his number. Just give him a chance,” she tried, and just like before, you found it hard to deny her.

“I’ll think about it,” was your response.

The rest of the drive was spent without talking, the only noise being the radio playing almost silently in the background. Her words echoed in your head even after you dropped her off, especially with her parting words.

“Just think about it, okay?” She asked once more to remind you before pausing and adding, “I love you.”

“Love you, too,” you responded, nodding just barely.

She gave you one last sympathetic look, ducking out of the car and walking up to her house. You watched her until she got in, letting out a heavy breath as you drove off.

You couldn’t stop thinking about it when you got home, trapped in your head even as you said goodnight to your sister and parents. Going through the motions to get ready for bed, you kept glancing at your phone. Beth’s words playing in your head, you grabbed it and gave yourself little time to second guess yourself as you typed out a text and hit send before climbing into bed and willing sleep to come.

‘hey, it’s y/n’

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yeswevegotavideo · 5 years

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@thegrandwilde, I got inspired from our earlier conversation and you did say you like getting introduced to new music so… (Though actually, feel free to ignore this post entirely, I just like info-dumping about They Might Be Giants and this is a convenient excuse to do so lol)

Apparently it was three asks, maybe there were more I didn’t see, but these are the songs I’ve seen referenced in those weird ass tmbg asks (Spotify links):

The Mesopotamians

Birdhouse in Your Soul

Don’t Let’s Start

And really, those are great songs, but speaking as someone who has obsessively listened to this band for 32 (of 36) years, these are some equivalent or better ones under the cut. One from almost every album, actually.

(*Favorite albums)

Put Your Hand Inside the Puppet Head (They Might Be Giants, 1986)

Their least-refined album, being their first, but full of a lot of gems, actually.

Ana Ng (Lincoln, 1988)*

Much more polished than the first. This one’s hard to choose one song from, nearly every one is gold.

Your Racist Friend (Flood, 1990)

Probably their most popular album, at least from my era? Extremely popular among Mormons for reasons I’ve never really understood.

I, Palindrome, I (Apollo 18, 1992)*

Arguably my favorite album to this day, not just from TMBG, but generally. It’s actual perfection, is all. Next to impossible to choose a single song to feature.

No One Knows My Plan (John Henry, 1994)*

Their first album after adding more members/instruments, including some horns, which they would keep from this point forward. (Now they’re two Johns, two Dans, and a Marty). Arguably their first commercially viable album, and likely the thing that got them noticed by TV producers. (Soon after this, they wrote The Daily Show theme and have been more or less industry staples ever since. They wrote the Malcolm in the Middle theme song, as well.)

Pet Name (Factory Showroom, 1996)*

Another basically perfect album, next to impossible to choose a single song from. I only chose this one because it’s awesome and a bit more chill than a lot of their stuff.

Doctor Worm (Severe Tire Damage, 1998)

One of their better-known songs, from an almost entirely live album, but not a live song. I see people quoting this one semi-often and wonder where they heard it.

Reprehensible (Long-Tall Weekend, 1999)

The first full-length online-only album ever released by a major artist. Which is amazing. (They were also one of the first major artists, if not the first, to have an official online radio station, in 1999. Which is insane.)

This song is a good representation of a mainstay of TMBG: pairing perky pop melody with vaguely (or sometimes blatantly) sinister lyrics or subject matter. One of my most favorite musical tropes (gee, I wonder why? Lol)

My Man (Mink Car, 2001)*

Released around the time John Flansburgh started his electronica/hip-hop fusion side project, Mono Puff. I’m not wild about the project, but being in that headspace did wonderful things for this album.

This song is featured to demonstrate their extreme, general nerdiness (especially John Linnell’s, who is my preferred John). Insofar as they have managed to turn the 3 word phrase, “I am paralyzed” into a 3 minute song, without once using the actual phrase.

Experimental Film (The Spine, 2004)

A good, solid album, another one it’s hard to choose one song from. The video for this song was done by the Brothers Champs, creators of Homestar Runner. The story goes that they each found out the other were huge fans of theirs, collectively did whatever the middle-aged man equivalent of a fangirl-squeal is, and began collaborating immediately. They still do, occasionally.

The Cap’m (The Else, 2007)*

It took me a while to warm up to this album, but now I absolutely love it. While looking for a song to post, I realized one of the anon asks quoted this song.

The Lady and the Tiger (Join Us, 2011)*

A nearly perfect album marred by a couple of songs that I legitimately dislike. That is…not a thing I say about TMBG often. *shrug* They can’t all be Apollo 18.

This song baaaarely squeaked by ahead of You Probably Get That A Lot, When Will You Die?, and Cloissinné because the Bassline. Fucking. Slaps.

Money for Dope (Album Raises New and Troubling Questions, 2011)

Released as a companion to Join Us, including some songs cut from the album along with some b-sides, live tracks, & remixes. It’s got some good shit on it, including Marty Beller Mask, easily one of the most surreal songs they’ve ever written.

But I featured this song because it was the inspiration for my The Young Ones: Love & Mobsters fic: Dope, and because it’s one of their many songs that is literally just a list of things, which is very them.

Call You Mom (Nanobots, 2013)

Another solid album, but not one of my favorites. It might just be too new for me (she said of the 6 year old album), but it might just not be one of their best albums. *shrug*

They Might Be Giants has a very distinct sense of humor. This song is just about the perfect example of that.

Erase (Glean, 2015)

The first album released after they started their new Dial-A-Song project, which they turned into a song-a-week challenge. As a result, the album isn’t like, exceptional, but there are a lot of gems, actually.

This is my favorite song on the album because it’s about the creative editing process (yes, a rare TMBG song that is definitively about something) and I feel it on a spiritual level.

Bills, Bills, Bills (Phone Power, 2016)

I’m not familiar enough with this album to have much of an opinion on it, I don’t listen to it much. But I had to include this song because I legitimately fucking love TMBG covers, and this one was…unexpected, lmao.

Mrs. Bluebeard (I Like Fun, 2018)*

The first album released after the 2016 election, and it shows, with a strong thread of fears about aging, loss, vague despair/disappointment, and political anger (An Insult to the Fact Checkers is a blatantly anti-Trump song). I fucking love it.

This song is just really well composed, and also demonstrates a strong feminist sensibility, rarely seen in ostensibly cishet(?), white, male baby-boomers (young ones, but still).

(Yes cis, dunno if het? Neither are particularly effusive about their personal lives. They’re both married which, of course, means literally nothing.)

I mean, they’ve clearly always been liberal commie bastards (see Your Racist Friend above), but they’ve become more vocally so over the past few years.

#Long post #they might be giants #TMBG

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ethertae · 6 years

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Hurricane - Jeon Jungkook (M)

Hurricane (part 1)

Beautiful moodboard by @introsgf

Word count: 7.7k

Summary: You love Jungkook, and he loves you. But he lives with the stars, and you simply content yourself to look at the night sky from a dead field, desperate to reach for something you know will never truly be yours.

Genre: angst, light smut. Ex-boyfriend! Jungkook.

Warnings: light smut. This is not the depiction of a healthy relationship, this is fiction - pls don’t let yourself be emotionally abused this way (even though it may not seem extreme, it really is.) Jungkook, here, is a character that needs development, so it will be easier to understand the actual issue - we’ll dig into his mindset in the second part.

Requests: open

+ (playlist for the story)

(A/N: I know Namjoon’s figurines cost more than 3000 dollars – rich boy, lmao – but this an au where they cost about 50 -70 dollars)

You’re awake again.

The light from your television screen is the only thing that allows you to see in the otherwise dark room. You can’t fall asleep. The noise is drowned out by your solitude – this time of night is the only moment you can seem to think. You are used to it now.

He’s back.

Images of him appearing at your doorstep, with a hurt and lost gaze, flashes before your eyes. A part of you expects him to come. It’s been two days, and still no news. You let yourself think you don’t want to see him anymore; that his face would only bring out a deep-seated anger, one that has accumulated over the years, from all the times he left you.

You wrap the blanket tighter around yourself, shivering from the cold air that wanders from the open window and into your living room. Whether you like to admit it or not, you miss him. Your heart can’t help but yearn for the way he would wrap his arms around you at night, being the one to shield you from the bitter cold. But, you can’t. You can’t let him in again.

A buzz resounds, breaking the low murmur of your television show. The rate of your heartbeat increases, a pitiful twinge of hope curling your stomach. Picking up your phone, you unlock the screen.

2 messages from chimchim:

[Y/N, go to sleep…]

[stop doing this, it isn’t healthy.]

You frown – does Jimin know he is back too?

Of course, he does. He is one of his closest friends afterall. You decide not to answer; you don’t want him to worry about you. You would rather let him think you are asleep. You hear another chime.

A message from chimchim:

[I hope you are really asleep, and not just ignoring my messages -_-]

2 messages from Jeon Jungkook:

[Y/N]

[Are you still awake?]

You do a double take, blinking away your fatigue to make sure you aren’t seeing things.

It’s him.

Your heart feels as if it is lodged in your throat. You heave, chest rising up and down, because it’s him. Eyes sweeping over the message multiple times, a flood of emotions invade you. Six months. It’s been six months, and he has texted you.

You stare blankly at the screen for several minutes. A shaky breath leaves you, and you swallow the big lump, feeling as though your esophagus could tear apart from the width.

You’re scared, because he’s back. You’re frustrated, because he’s back. You’re despaired, because he’s back.

You’re relieved – because he’s back.

And no matter how hard you try to hate him, forget him each time he disappears, you can’t bring yourself to. Jungkook knows that, so he uses it. Uses your love for him, so he can come back, just to make you fall harder and then leave. He tells you, this time is the right one, this time he’s ready, but you wake up alone a few weeks later with a note on your dresser, saying that he can’t be tied down.

It started five years ago, when you were still a freshman in college, and he was a junior. You met through Jimin. You were sweet, naïve, and Jungkook was the mysterious boy, who had all the girls at his feet but wouldn’t give any the time of the day. He intrigued you, and although he would constantly say, you weren’t his type of girl, the tension was undeniable. And you were relentless in tearing at his cool exterior, till one night, he finally caved and kissed you at Jimin’s Christmas party - had you into a shuddering mess with the way your clothes bunched up under his large hands. Now, you say your stupid-self was too curious for your own good, too in love with him to see past what he really is – a coward. All he knows how to do is run – run away from his feelings as soon as they are too much to handle.

Your fingers hover over the screen.

Should you?

You think about all the times he hurt you.

No, you shouldn’t.

2 messages from Jeon Jungkook:

[I’m sorry]

[I miss you]

A whimper escapes your lips – your heart clenches painfully, writhing as though it has been stabbed. He always does this, and you always fall for it. You can’t, not again.

Looking at the ceiling, you turn off your phone. The lights in the shadows of your walls, travel with the pass of each car, and you keep your eyes transfixed on the movement. Maybe if you don’t give him a reason to stay, he’ll leave sooner. Maybe this time, if you don’t cave in, he won’t come back. Unconsciously, you ache at the thought of never seeing him again.

You let your head touch the rough material of your couch, legs curled against your chest, and blanket tight around your trembling body. You won’t let him, no you won’t.

Tears glide along your temple.

No. Not this time.

“What are you doing?” Jimin berates, grabbing the expresso that is tightly clutched in your hands. He runs to the nearest trash can, trench coat swaying with him, and throws the cup in.

You gasp, “You ass, I needed that!”

You shuffle to the bin, looking inside longingly before glaring at Jimin. You do indeed need it, you haven’t been sleeping much this past week, and Jungkook hasn’t contacted you since that night. It doesn’t sit well with you.

“It was your fourth cup, and it’s ten in the morning. You need to calm down.”

Jimin starts to walk ahead of you, and you pick up your pace to catch up with him. He is quiet as he advances, trying to reach your destination quickly, but you find the silence stressful – any type of distraction from your thoughts would be welcomed.

You wrap your coat tighter around yourself, regretting the fact that you didn’t put on gloves before stepping out in this treacherous cold.

“Jimin?” You whisper, unsure whether to start this conversation or not, but it has been tearing through your mind incessantly for the past week, so you ask anyway.

“Have you –“ you take a deep breath, the cold air burning your lungs, “have you seen Jungkook?”

He doesn’t react, like you thought he would – he was expecting it – instead, he sighs.

“Yes, Y/N.”

You nod, a stillness invading the air around you, even more so in the dead of winter. You try to tell yourself that it was enough information, that you don’t need to know any more of it – but you do. You always do.

You rush out, “how is he?”

Jimin takes a moment to look at you, hands stuffed deep inside the pockets of his coat. He regards you silently for a moment before answering, “He’s fine. He asked the same about you.”

You’re speechless, lump caught in your throat, and heart palpitating so fast, you fear it might stop. You bite your lip, eyes directing themselves in front of you, leaving Jimin’s flushed face.

“Don’t get any ideas, Y/N.”

You nod, breaking from your reverie, “Of course not, Jimin. It’s over. It’s been over.”

“It’s for the best.”

“I know.”

Your trek continues in absolute silence, walking down numerous streets and under the grey sky, to finally get where both of you have been planning to go for the past few months. But, you kept putting it off because of your busy schedules.

You exhale when you finally enter the figurine shop, the warmth of the heated room engulfing you in a hug. You look around – the shop is small, and shelves line the walls, rare collectable figurines arranged neatly on them.

“Why are we doing this again?” you ask Jimin, whose already deep in the shop, touching the delicate objects that are displayed.

“I’m super late on Joonie’s present, and I promised him something cool. And, you said you’d help me choose.”

“Ah yes, I remember. And, Joonie’s birthday was 2 months ago.”

“Shush, I’ve been busy – I did the cake, okay?”

You cackle, touching the wings on a beautiful fairy figurine – she’s crouched, hands touching the ground and expression sorrowful, like she’s lost something – you find you relate to her.

“Damn –“ Jimin’s voice startles you, and you almost knock down the delicate fairy, but stabilize it quickly, checking around if anybody has seen.

“They have all sorts of figurines, they vary so much – Hey, come here, this is the sort of stuff Namjoon likes.”

You reach Jimin. Observing the collectables along with him, you notice that most of these Namjoon already owns. You made sure to sneak into his room and take a picture of his figurines, so you wouldn’t end up buying one he already has. You take out your phone, finding the picture, and looking from the device to the shelves of packaged items.

“Chim, he doesn’t have this one,” you crouch, picking one from the bottom shelf, it seemed to be matching one of the sets in the photo.

“We have to go shopping for Jin and Tae’s birthdays soon.” You add as an afterthought, suddenly remembering your other friends’ birthdays would barely be a month from now.

He groans, “Don’t remind me.”

He takes the covered object from your hand, and you show him the picture. Jimin smiles, seemingly happy with the choice and taps your nose, before sauntering off to the cash register.

You follow him, stopping beside him and clutching the counter. The nervous tap of your foot starts as your mind wanders to places you’ve been mulling over repeatedly. Has he changed the color of his hair again? Is he okay? Is he hurting as much as you are?

“Hey, Y/N – so,” Jimin clears his throat, uneasiness clear on his soft features, “um – so, we are going to be having drinks at Seokjin’s place, later tonight…with Jungkook – you know, to celebrate his return – and, well, it would be weird for you not to be there.”

The awkward tension is palpable, Jimin making sure to look anywhere but at you. He takes out his wallet, handing out the necessary cash to the man behind the counter and thanks him, bidding goodbye.

You amble at his side, too busy replaying his terrifying words over and over in your head, to answer him. The cold air hitting your face – as he opens the glass door to the streets – is like a harsh wakeup call, and you struggle to make the words pass your lips.

“Oh – yeah. That’s fine.”

“I mean, don’t feel like you have to – we would totally understand if you don’t come” He trails off, looking far into the distance at what seems to be the Christmas lights decorating a lonely lamp post. You have always wondered about that, why they bring out the festivities so early in the season.

“No, no! It’s fine, I’m fine…. I’m okay.”

He eyes you briefly, honey colored hair following the currents of the wind – “are you sure?”

When you don’t answer, he sighs – his perception getting the better of him. You’re spacing out again, and he doesn’t have the heart to tear you away from the visual novel playing over in your head.

“Hm, do you want to have some mulled wine?” he dares to ask, sending you a wink.

You look up at him, perceiving the small grin hidden by his thick red scarf, “It’s only 10:30 in the morning, Jimin.”

“So, what? We both need it. Plus, mulled wine is so good.”

You can’t help the subdued smile that molds your features, almost imperceptible but there. “I guess I wouldn’t mind some spices in my system.”

You pass by a small bar, one which sells the hot beverage you crave, a special you can only find during the holidays (- or at least when it nears the holidays, if you can call a month near). Entering it, you take in the bad interior décor. The dimmed lights of the bar illuminate the room in an almost welcoming way, the poorly strung Christmas ornaments adding a sad touch to the already uncommon view of a bar so early in the morning. One too few people, most of which are splayed on the tables, populate the dark box – if it weren’t for the windows, it would feel as if you were in a homely cave.

Sitting at a table as close to the windows as possible, you relish in the comfiness of the sunken seat you placed yourself in. The waiter comes with a disgruntled expression, a notepad in hand, and judgement evident in his beady eyes.

Jimin orders for the both you, falling back in his chair once the odd man leaves, “what do you think got his panties in a twist?”

“He probably thinks anybody that comes to a bar this early in the morning must have issues.”

“Well, obviously, that’s why we’re here.” The blonde jokes, prodding the chipped wood of your table with his small fingers.

“Har, har” you tease, pressing your hands together and blowing warm air into the space created between your palms, proceeding then to rub them together, till you feel the tingle of rushing blood. Winter has come early this year.

“Here,” the man comes back, dropping your drinks off, and leaving dismissively with the tray nested in his pit, before you even have the chance to thank him.

“Do you think he spit in our wine?” Jimin whispers, and glances down at the hot beverage, mocking worry laced in his brown eyes.

“I hope not,” you say, taking a tentative sip at the cinnamony goodness of your mulled wine.

Jimin hums in approval, a small, involuntary crinkle to his nose as he inhales the spicy aroma that now lingers in the air around you. The endearing twitch makes you smile, mouth curving upwards in subtle delight.

Slowly, your thoughts start drifting, and your grip loosens around your sturdy paper cup, eyes focusing on the small slice of orange floating around in the murky red. Your thoughts wander to Jungkook.

You remember the first Christmas you spent together.

You visited your family with him, since he mentioned he had none of his own. And, when you tried to press on the matter, he would only get eerily quiet, refusing to deliver any other information. Your family disliked him – you saw it as soon as he stepped into the threshold, their critical gazes eating up the way his hair was dyed an extravagant pink.

But, you didn’t care, you didn’t realize the importance of family approval or judgement.

You remember the champagne induced buzz you felt at the Christmas party, belly filled with pot roast, and filth being whispered in your ear, while Jungkook traced teasing circles on your lower back. You remember the way he pushed you against the bed, mapping out your body in the room of your childhood and teenage years spent fantasizing such things would happen.

You also remember the absence of his warmth the next morning, duffle bag gone along with everything he wore the night before. A note was left neatly on top of your dresser, written on the paper you used to confess your secrets on at 14.

That was the very first time he left you.

When you made it down to breakfast, you were sure to have your tears dry and a small smile plastered on your face. You excused him, lies leaving your lips messily – some sort of nonsense, like he had an emergency back home that needed to be tended to immediately.

Your mom saw right through the act – somehow – even though you felt like you had hidden it well enough. And, instead of chastising you, and giving you a meaningless lecture, she comforted you and explained to you the hardships of going through heartbreak.

Jungkook was your first real heartbreak. And, as unbelievably simpleton as it sounds, he was your first everything.

“– I’m thinking about getting a cat, and naming it Yoongi, just to piss Yoongles off. I want to get back at him for making fun of my love for candles.”

You shake your head and laugh, memory still in the forefront of your mind. “He’s going to kill you. But, make sure you buy a cat that’s as cute as him.”

“Sure thing,” he smirks, bringing the cup to his lips, twinkle in the boy’s eyes as he thinks about the man he loves, but is too afraid to tell.

“You know,” you look at him intently, “if you just told Jungkook how you feel.”

“Jungkook?”

Blanching – you stutter, correcting yourself, “sorry – sorry, I meant Yoongi.”

“Hm,” you avoid Jimin’s intense stare, “should we practice?”

You scrunch your face in confusion, “Practice?”

“Yeah, what you’re going to say in front of Jungkook.”

“What – why?”

“So, you don’t say anything stupid, or incredibly awkward. We both know words are not your forte when you’re nervous.”

“Who isn’t awkward when nervous?”

“Me,” he clicks his tongue, finishing the last drop of his wine.

With a roll of your eyes, you gesture for him to continue. He beams, adding quickly, “it’s for you, and the sake of all of us that I’m doing this. I don’t wanna have to kick myself from the tension tonight.”

“Ok, so what I think you should do is not really talk to him.”

“What? How is that not awkward?”

“– let me finish,” he wags his finger.

“So, as I was saying, don’t really talk to him tonight, I think you guys should rehash your problems alone – but,” he looks at you dead in the eye, “I swear don’t fall for his shit again, or I’ll kill both of you. I love Kook, but he’s a complete douche.”

You purse your lips, hands laying atop your thighs, and the tap of your foot starting again. No, you cannot be alone with him. No, definitely not. You play with your fingers, eyes strained on the way your thumbs twiddled together.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to be alone with him. I don’t want to talk to him anyway.”

“Good,” Jimin nods, a big enthusiastic smile gracing his lips, almost as if he hadn’t been giving you serious advice just mere moments ago. You find the small crinkle of his eyes strangely reassuring, because they’re so kind especially when he smiles, “don’t worry everything will be fine, it’ll go by super quick.”

You almost believe him

“Seokjin! Hurry up, it’s freezing!” Jimin knocks harder on the wooden door.

“Can you wait, you brat!”

An annoyed Jin opens the door - you and Jimin shuffle in the house immediately, desperate to escape the cold of nightfall. But, as soon as you hear the clang, your chest feels heavy. You can’t leave now. You’re trapped here – with Jungkook.

“Hey,” Jin hugs you, a waft of vanilla tickling your nose pleasantly, you take in his comforting scent with a soft sigh. His arms leave your back, and so do yours, taking a step back to stand at his side.

“Where’s my hug, hyung?”

“You don’t get one, because you’re disrespectful.”

You decide to leave your friends in the entryway, making your way to Seokjin’s bathroom, maybe to throw up, or hide the entire time? Yes, that sounds good.

You pass the numerous doors that line the hallway, rushing to reach the last one, which has a cute plaque marked ‘restroom’ in cursive. Your shaking fingers meet the metallic knob, and twist it open, switching on the light.

Closing the door behind you, you pull down the cover to the toilet seat and sit on top of it. You take off your coat, the thickness suffocating considering the heated rooms of Seokjin’s home. You lay it on your lap.

Okay. So. You are going to see Jungkook. You are not going to talk to him. It’s as simple as that. You also will NOT cry when you see him. No. That you won’t do.

You heave a shaky breath, rising and convincing yourself that it is way time you start facing your fears. You look at yourself in the mirror that hangs over the small sink – you look, normal, casual – no – you look half dead. You feel like you have been through a zombie apocalypse, died, then came back to life.

You shake your head. No! No! You look great, damn it!

You open the door and pinch the bridge of your nose, turning to walk out of the hallway. But, you stop in your tracks, the sight almost making you jump out of your skin – it’s like you see a ghost, and Jungkook is standing right in front of you.

“Y/N –“ he exhales, taking in your appearance with depraved eyes.

“J-Jungkook?” You splutter, shock splayed across your features with how much he has changed. He no longer has blond hair, instead he decided to dye it black – it sweeps his forehead gently, longer around the edges and you have the sudden urge to run your fingers through them, like you have always done in the past.

God, you missed him. God, do you just want to run into his arms and pretend he hasn’t left you so many times before.

Your gaze falls onto the way his lower lip is no longer bare; how it’s now so beautifully decorated by a ring, and how it rests at the edge undisturbed. The only thing that hasn’t changed is the way he looks at you – his stare filled with remorse, like all the other times he begged for your forgiveness, falling to his knees in front of you and laying his head on your stomach as you cried, because you already knew he had you under his spell.

You both stand there – immobile, waiting for the other to utter a word, to break the trance. It’s almost as if a dark cloud nestles itself above your heads, still silent but preparing something that none of you anticipate, because you say to yourself that if you make it through this, then you are home free. The reunion is always the hardest; the moment you see him after months of expecting his return, you crack. But, this time, you won’t let yourself be so foolish.

Hesitating, he takes a step forward, and you take one back, brows knit in caution. He stops upon seeing your dejection, lips upturned and face sullen – he speaks, “How have you been?”

“I’ve been well,” you whisper, the image of him almost too hard to bear, you feel as though you are dreaming.

He nods, “I’m glad.”

Silence. Tension.

It’s suffocating.

Heat starts rising all over your body, beads of sweat rolling off in unconventional places – you can’t handle this, you need to get out of here.

“Jungkook? Y/N?” Namjoon makes an appearance at the end of the hall, your panicked eyes make contact with his surprised ones.

“Uh –“ he nearly gets whiplash with how fast his neck twists from you to Jungkook, “let’s go to the living room, guys…”

Coughing, he rubs his throat nervously and walks out of sight, running for protection and away from the dark cloud that looms over you.

You brush past Jungkook, lips sealed into a tight line, and unable to help the tremble that overtakes you when you catch his sent – it hasn’t changed, it never will. You hear the clonk of his boots follow you to where the boys are, their incessant whispers coming to a halt as soon as they feel your presence in the room.

“Hey, guys!” Hoseok chirps, large smile in place; subtly trying to diffuse the tension with a friendly pat to the cushion, pointing out the free seat at his side.

You shuffle to get there, a quiet sigh leaving you when your back makes contact with the plushy feel of Jin’s couch. Hoseok wraps an arm around your shoulder and leans in to whisper, “it’s fine – breathe.”

“Thank you, hobi.”

Nodding, he parts from you and unweaves his limb from your shaking frame. Yoongi clears his throat, bottle of soju in hand and shifts in his seat.

“So – Jungkook! It’s nice to see you again, man. It’s been a long time, and I think it’s safe to say that we all missed you – even though you’re a pain in the ass,” Yoongi takes a swig from the bottle, “someone get glasses, I need to get drunk.”

Jungkook laughs lightly, “I missed you too, man.”

“Yeah, whatever – glasses, we need glasses,” the older boy points at the bottle, a small raise to his eyebrows.

Seokjin hauls himself up, muttering something as he huffs in annoyance, “I’ll get the glasses, you lazy ass.”

“I bought the booze,” Yoongi retorts, a grimace curving his nose and morphing the line of his lips.

Hoseok laughs, booming sound piercing your eardrums, and you look down at your feet, from fear of meeting Jungkook’s gaze if your eyes strain in his direction, and you know they would.

Suddenly, your mind reals you back to a particular conversation you had with Jungkook years prior, the memory washing over you in a wave of melancholy.

「The wind blew and intertwined with the long patches of grass, weaving through trees and creating reassuring sounds of despair and lamentation. It yearned to reach the stars in the night sky, but it only met the kiss of nature and the tufts of yours and Jungkook’s hair.

You stole glances at the boy who stared longingly at he open sky, lips parted in slight awe as he lied in the back of his pickup truck, with you by his side.

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“Do you ever wonder what’s it like being a star?”

You frowned at his question, “a burning ball of gas?”

He snorted, shaking his head, “you know what I mean. To be contemplated by millions every night; to be free, and unattainable?”

The crease in your brow deepened, “No, I’ve never thought of that,” you casted a glance at the light that was so out of reach yet illuminated darkness and offered hope to an endless tunnel of despair. “But you know that the stars that are here tonight won’t be the same ones that you see in a couple of months.”

“Stop it with that Y/N,” he huffed, a smile spreading across his face, “I mean, to be so admired, and still be out of reach?”

“Like celebrities?”

“Something like that – “

“I guess that’s why we call them stars… why? You want to be a star?” you teased, rising into a sitting position.

“I don’t know,” he propped himself up by his elbows, “I just want something more; to be remembered. I hate this – staying here, going to college, and for what? Just so I can work an office job and come home depressed and complaining about how much my life sucks?”

Wordlessly, you contemplated the downcast glint in his eyes, how the wondrous twinkle in his eye captured the light that shone on you; it was filled with hope, possibilities.

“I don’t know what I want to do with life, but I know it isn’t this.”」

You blink, eyes immediately searching for his face despite promising yourself that you wouldn’t. The light in his eyes – it’s gone. When did it burn out?

“Y/N, take your cup,” Hoseok shoves the shot glass in your face, urging you to take it. So, with a shake to your fingers, you do.

The strong stench of the liquor drowns out your senses, and you wince at the sting it brings to your eyes – it’s been a while since you have gotten drunk.

“To Jungkook, and his return –“ Namjoon shouts happily raising his glass, and clinking it with Jimin’s, who gives you wary glance.

“To Jungkook!”

But it doesn’t go without a scoff, “he’ll be gone in like a week.”

Heads turn towards Yoongi, “fine, sorry – to Jungkook.” He chuckles, downing the glass and licking his lips as if it were water, already thirsty for more.

“Hit me up again.”

Taehyung complies, serving Yoongi, then bringing the liquor to his lips. His forehead creases in distaste – he never did like strong alcohol.

“So,” Taehyung coughs, liquor still burning his throat, “Kook, how has life been? What did you do while you were away?”

“Uh,” Jungkook sneaks a glance at you, and you’re too busy, making sure the last drop of alcohol has dripped onto your tongue, to notice. “Well –“ your head snaps to meet his eyes, the sound of his voice like the chime of distant bells to your ears.

“- I just traveled around the country, nothing much…”

“Ah –“ Taehyung trails off.

“Yah! Speak up! What did you do around the country?” You recognize Jimin’s voice – he’s uncomfortable, you can tell, this is exactly what he didn’t want, so he tries to break the tension.

“I stayed in motels, drank beer, and got a job as a pizza delivery guy – Jesus, will you chill.”

You take the time Jungkook is distracted, to memorize every new detail of his features – he has a scar on his jaw that wasn’t there before. You need more alcohol. Yes. That’s what you need.

“Ho-hoseok? More Soju, please?”

He gives a languid smirk, filling your shot glass to the brim, and you tip it – the rancid liquid carving its way in your system.

“More?”

The colorless drink slides down your throat for a third time.

Two bottles in, and all of you are hopelessly drunk.

“So, I said to the dude, you can’t touch my rap skills, and he was like yes, I can, so we had a rap battle, and I beat the shit out of his ass.” Yoongi slurs, a lazy laugh exposing his small teeth.

“When was that?” Namjoon chuckles, hand running up and down Jin’s thigh, who is already passed out, and sprawled at the end of the couch.

“When, I was like 17 – damn, I miss rapping, I haven’t rapped in more than 8 years”

“Wanna have a rap battle?” Namjoon wiggles his brows, standing up abruptly and nearly knocking Jin off the edge.

“Fuck, yeah!”

You can’t even think – your mind barely registering your surroundings. You feel awful. You want to throw up, cry, and cry again. Hoseok sits next to you, flushed red to his ears with a blank expression on his face, you find it is quite a funny sight. You giggle stupidly despite the acid churning in your stomach, threatening to climb up and spill everything you’ve eaten today.

Jungkook is staring at the ceiling, legs spread apart - he whispers, “Do you hate me, Y/N?”

You don’t hear.

Gibberish resounds in the room as Yoongi spits out random lyrics. Your eyes flutter shut, head bobbing to what seems like fantastic rap in your alcohol induced state.

“Ha!” Taehyung cackles, “Yoongi is so gonna beat Namjoon!” Arms find purchase at his sides, as he doubles over laughing.

“Naaah! I have my bets on Jooniiie! You hear that Yoongles? Namjoon is going to beat you, and my love for candles will live on! Come on, Joon!”

“Jungkook,” you hum absentmindedly, heart reaching out before your mind has time to react, “why do you always leave me?”

His neck turns abruptly, gaze burning holes into your stirring form. Did you just speak to him?

Your eyes droop, and you fight the urge to fall asleep, “well?”

��Y/N,” he starts, ignoring your question and opting to beg instead, “please forgive me,” he whimpers - barely audible in the mindless chatter that drowns the room. His sweet features bear unmistakable pain and regret – just like they always do when he comes slithering back.

“No – I want to know why.” You demand, the pitch of your tone a tad whiny under all the intoxication.

“Please – forgive me –“

Your eyes threaten to give out.

“Why do you always leave me?” You whisper, a tiny sob retches from your lips before you pass out.

You have been able to avoid Jungkook for the past 4 days. He hasn’t texted nor called you; and even though you say to yourself that it is necessary, a small part of you craves his mere presence.

You’re done with work, after an exhausting night of photocopying sheets and sheets of paper your boss ‘absolutely’ needed, you finally head home – at 10 p.m.

The sad part is, you always end up working overtime – your superior seems to like making you suffer.

You grumble at the thought of her high heels and her ruby red lipstick, the shape of her pantsuit taking on her perfect curves. You admire her level of sophistication, one you can never achieve – but bitterness doesn’t fail to invade you at the thought of her commandeering voice when she orders you to photocopy her stupid forms.

The lack of an elevator in your building makes you all the more grumpy, when you realize you have to hike up 5 flights of stairs just to reach your apartment. With a tired sigh, you take off your heels, carrying them in your hand as you walk bare-footed up the stairs.

By the time you reach the fourth floor, you’re out of breath. You heave, placing a palm on your knee and scolding yourself for procrastinating about hitting the gym.

One more floor.

You turn on the light when you make it to your floor, and almost scream when you finally see the shape that sits at the side of your door. He stands up immediately brushing off his black jeans, dark circles under his dimly lit eyes – so you haven’t been the only one that hasn’t been getting enough sleep.

“Jungkook, what are you doing here?”

You can’t help the horrified expression bearing your face – you don’t know what to do.

“Y/N, we need to talk,” he looks frustrated, the strands of his hair tussled, and lower lip swollen from the abuse of his teeth.

“I –“ you almost choke from the big breath of air you take, “It’s not a good idea, Jungkook.”

You try to sidestep him to get to the door, the key shaking in your grasp. He blocks you, “No, don’t do this, hear me out – “

“– why should I?” you hiss, anger filled eyes searching his own.

“Just, please – just – I won’t try anything, ok?” The way his eyes are wide in a plea, makes him so hard to ignore – so you cave, like you always do.

“Fine,” you whisper, opening the door to your apartment and allowing Jungkook to enter.

He steps in behind you, a small sigh leaving his lips, because he has missed your apartment and the way it smells like you. It’s always been so homely, so you – the way you sometimes leave your clothes scattered around from lack of time, or how you always leave small notes on the fridge that remind you of the things you know you would forget.

“Please take off your shoes – oh”

But, they’re already off, and he walks ahead of you, entering the living room. He sits on the couch, hands securely placed on his thighs, rubbing them up and down nervously.

“You can take off your jacket – I’m going to change.” You inform, then proceed to sprint to your bedroom and shut the door behind you.

“Oh my god, oh my god!”

Panicking, you drop your shoes next to your bed mindlessly and scroll through your messages, finding the exchange between you and Jimin.

A message to chimchim:

[Jimin! JIMIN! HELP! JUNGKOOK IS IN MY APARTMENT, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!]

The time you have to wait for his reply seems infinite despite it being only 3 mins.

A message from chimchim:

[wtf? How?]

[okay, uuuuh]

[just play it cool!]

[BE FIRM!]

[don’t give him a window of opportunity, Y/N!]

[you’ll have to explain how the fuck all of this happened!]

[it better be good!]

The series of dings you receive serve to calm the fast thrum of your heart. You take a deep breath, typing in an answer.

A message to chimchim:

[ok. Thank you, Jimin.]

[I love you]

You throw your phone on your bed, ungracefully ditching your skirt and blouse in haste. You rummage through your drawer, dressed in your bra and unattractive pair of underwear. You throw on a random sweater and a large pair of sweatpants.

You patter your way to the living room, Jungkook in the same position you left him in, staring into space.

“Do you want coffee?” you ask softly, breaking his train of thoughts, his head snaps up taking in your form. He nods, “yeah, that would be nice…”

Your kitchen is a slight mess – the sink is charged with dishes, and you forgot to sweep up the abundance of crumbs you spilled on the floor in a hurry to get to work. You place the task to clean up at the far end of your mind, turning on the kettle. The pop of the switch resonates unpleasantly in your ear, the sound amplified in your state of fatigue.

You pull out two mugs from your cupboard, almost dropping them when you notice Jungkook’s old mug peeking out, from the back. It is nestled behind your unnecessarily large number of motivational cups.

You find it hard to breathe again, the sudden memory of him using the mug a copious amount of times, the way he laughed while holding it in his two hands, surges to the forefront of your ridiculous mind.

You push some of your other mugs in front of it, hiding it from view. You close your cupboards with a light bang, making the wall vibrate with the force. You wince, afraid to have disturbed the neighbors. Grimace invading your features, you make the coffee, and stir the finished product with a tea spoon.

You gulp and exit the open kitchen, feet meeting the soft carpet of your living room – the padding muffles the patter of your feet.

“Here’s your coffee.”

Jungkook jumps at the sound of your voice, flustered and lips parted, ring glistening wetly under the warm hue of your lamp.

“Thank you.”

You sit down next to him, placing your mug carefully on the coffee table and turn to face him, eager to get to the point so you could get this over with.

He copies your flow of movement, eyes meeting yours. You shuffle back, the proximity, taking you by surprise and rendering you speechless under his intense stare.

“S-so – uh –“ the nervous tap of your foot starts, and his eyes fly to the tic for a split second before landing back on your face, “what did you want to talk about?”

“I just wanted to say that I missed you – “

All the air that fuels your lungs, leaves your body in a big whoosh. You feel as if someone punched you in the gut, hating the impact his simple words have on you. Jungkook watches the way you react to him with greedy eyes – he rushes to speak again.

“I’m not going to say anything more, because I know you don’t want to hear it – but please let me stay a little bit longer, I’ve missed being near you.”

And there it goes again, the ridiculous pounding of your heart.

“I-I don’t think it’s a good ide – “

He cuts you off, “please?”

You dare to look at his pretty eyes, and they always get you. Your body language gives Jungkook an idea of what your answer will be, and relief floods his system.

With slumped shoulders, you whisper, “Okay.”

You reach for the remote and turn on the television. The recorded laughter of an audience sounds in the room as reruns of The Big Bang Theory fill the screen.

You avert your eyes to the tv, trying your best to ignore the way Jungkook’s warm stare heats up your body in an embarrassing way. Pulling your thoughts out of the gutter, you are determined to keep focus on the episode of where Sheldon and Amy finally have sex – at least someone is getting it.

You cough, shifting uncomfortably with the mixture of your thoughts and Jungkook’s burning gaze. You try not to get any ideas, convincing yourself that there is no specific reason that he is looking at you that way.

You watch the screen intently, directing your attention on the way Sheldon knocks repeatedly on Penny’s door. Over the course of two episodes, Jungkook’s gaze never dies down – you find it only gets harder to brush off.

Slowly, but sweetly the thunderous cloud starts to form over your heads again. The tension suffocating and mortifying – the coffee you drink suddenly feels too hot and the weight of your sweater too heavy.

You inhale deeply, ignoring the way a bead of sweat slides down your temple, and Jungkook’s eyes trail the trajectory down to your throat. His incessant staring grows hotter second by second, and what was supposed to be innocent in the beginning, now turns into something dark – sinful in the way he licks his lower lip unconsciously.

Times seems to stop. Each second grows longer than the other, mocking you and enjoying the torture inflicted upon you with Jungkook in the same room, and yet so unattainable. But, with the temperature of your body steadily rising, and the lack of an opened window, it is almost as if you forget the reason you aren’t jumping Jungkook.

Thoughts of controlling himself are thrown down the drain, and the fox-like side of him comes out to play.

“Y/N?” He hums, inching a little too close to you.

“Yes, Jungkook?”

You both stay at a stand still for a moment, studying the other earnestly. Jungkook stalks you like a lion, nearly positioned on all fours, as he takes in your flustered state – lips parted so invitingly and chest heaving up and down to take in the minimal air that oxygenates the room. One of your knees is propped up on the bed, while the other dangles off the edge – a slightly protective stance but a welcoming one nonetheless.

“Y/N –“ he breathes - the sound dripping with sexual intent and so enticing it has you whimper.

The momentum is broken – and Jungkook lunges for his prey.

You jump to meet his lips, the warm pillowy flesh molding with your dry ones, the sizzling metal of his ring engraving itself into your memory. His hands find your lower back sliding to your ass and down your thigh, hoisting it up as he lies you down. You savor the rough feel of his lips, his teeth coming out to tease your own, and tugging at them till it stings. The way your fingers card through his black hair, has him growling, his grip on your thigh tightening enough to bruise.

“God,” he parts from you, sound wet and crude. His thumb comes up to swipe your lips, parting the swollen flesh and trailing the slickness of your mixed saliva to your pulse point, pressing on it lightly. “I’ve missed you so much,” he presses harder against the beat of your heart, enjoying how it rushes at his touch. “I missed the way you react so easily to my touch,” he replaces his thumb with his tongue, laving the spot gently with the muscle – the sensation has you shuddering.

He squeezes your thigh harder, pulling you closer when you arch your back, eager to press your body into his, to feel the curve of his crotch.

“Did you miss me, Y/N?”

You moan in agreement, drawing his lips back to yours and tasting the metal punctured in his lower one. He smiles, “Hm – someone’s desperate,” his hand leaves the dip of your ass, making way to the juncture between your legs.

Jungkook presses his palm to your pussy, stimulating your clit through the cotton of your pants, and you gasp, a whine following your sharp intake. He kisses your chin delicately, proceeding to dip down your neck and lick a stripe all the way to your wanting mouth. “Tell me,” he presses down harder, “you must’ve been pretty deprived to act so needy – how long has it been since somebody took care of your pretty cunt.”

You close your eyes, lips parted but no sound escaping them – he brings his hand forth again, “nphmg.”

“Come on. Answer, Y/N.” he grazes his tongue against your collarbone.

“Since you left, God –“ you moan as he palms at your core relentlessly, “ – you left.”

Whimpering, you repeat, “you left me – God, you left me.” The mist that fogged your thoughts clears.

Jungkook freezes and fear overrides his lust, “W-what?”

“Stop, Jungkook, stop –“ you struggle to escape the way his body cages you in, reason making way into your mind.

He reels back to other end of the couch, lips swollen, and expression dazed. His eyes contain a mix of confusion and hurt, so different from the dominance they held moments ago.

Breath uneven, you stare at him. No. The memories of all the times you woke up to an empty bed haunt your vision, and suddenly, the light you see Jungkook under, changes. The warm colors of your lamp now cast a dark glow on his angelic features, entangling him with thorns. So beautiful, but unattainable. Just like he always wanted.

“I think you need to leave,” you whisper, looking down to where your pants stick to your sweaty skin.

You don’t bother to look as he gets up, pulling your legs to your chest and hugging them in search of comfort. He wordlessly makes his way to your front door and leaves. As soon as you hear the metal close on it’s hinges, a sob retches from your throat, sound echoing throughout the empty apartment.

↝ Masterlist ↜

(A/N: there is going to be a part 2, might focus on other things first, though. Feedback is really, really appreciated, if you want a second part please say so.)

#bts smut #jungkook smut #bts #bangtan smut #Jungkook angst #bts jungkook #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x reader #bts scenarios #one shot #bts one shot #jeon jungkook #kpopwonderlandtag #prettyboysnetwork #bangtanarmynet #kwordsmiths #bangtanbuds

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nostalgiaispeace · 6 years

Text

680.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 45

4301. Suggest a question for the 5,000 question survey: anything not super outdated. 4302. What’s your preferred form of artistic expression (writing, drawing, musicianship, etc…)? music 4303. Name one thing that’s overrated: taylor swift. Name one thing that’s underrated: metal 4304. Are the beatles overrated? not sure. never really listen to them.

4305. Do you smoke? if so, what brand? yes. L&M 4306. Why do you choose to listen to the music you listen to? i like it? 4307. Does music these days suck? mostly. 4308. Are personal ads acts of desperation? seem so. 4309. Have you ever been/are you a vegetarian? no 4310. Who are the three most important musical artists in your life? Lana Del Rey, Lacey Sturm, Asking Alexandria. 4311. do you find it disrespectful when contemporary musicians cover older ones? no. How about when people attribute the writing of these songs to the bands that only covered them? well I’ve never heard anyone do that so.. 4312. Do you believe in arming civilians? i have my own opinions. 4313. Do you find desolation and darkness sometimes beautiful? sure 4314. If you were drafted to fight in Afghanistan, would you willingly and proudly go? no. i’d be fucking scared. i’m mentally ill so probably wouldn’t be able to go anyway so it wouldn’t matter. 4315. What is people juice? don’t wanna know. 4316. aisle or window seat? aisle. i pee alot. 4317. What is your Favorite Simpsons character? none. 4318. Have you ever been to Mexico? no. 4319. Are people that wear glasses more or less attractive? no opinion? 4320. What sucks more, a Mini Van or SUV? i don’t like driving either so.. 4321. Are the days of writing and mailing letters lost? yeah, sadly. 4322. What do you think about right before you go to sleep? worries...but i try to focus on daydreams. 4323. Do I ever cross your mind - anytime? no 4324. Have you ever solved a Rubix Cube? no 4325. Why is everyone so emotionally and spiritually dead???? Are YOU?? their problem; no 4326. What can you feel BURNING UP inside your head? death 4327. What life experience do you have? not enough. 4328. Have you ever hit rock bottom? What was that like for you? if i haven’t i don’t want to; it sucked ass. 4329. Are you self destructive? yes 4330. Are you very extreme? probably. 4331. Are you completely full or do you feel empty? comfortable 4332. Can you turn the whole world inside out? um..no 4333. Are you potentially a criminal? no 4334. Where is your PASSION?? in music. 4335. Why do we hide our souls? to bare it would make us feel weak. 4336. How many times have you lied today? Did you just lie to that question? not sure if i have? 4337. Do you always notice when you are lying? yes 4338. Do you think that lying is so built into our culture that we can’t help it? probably. 4339. What are fighting against? What are you fighting for? Why aren’t you fighting? stigma; mental health awareness; i am tho 4340. Give the following things a rating. One is completely normal, ten is completely crazy/rebellious. tattoos: 1 no piercings or tattoos: 1 piercings: 1 pink hair: 1 openly discussing sex: 1 bob Marley: n/a green hair: 1 extreme emotion: 4 a tie: 1 spiked bracelets: 1 4341. What’d you think of the Grammys? don’t watch them. 4342. When you see the stars and the waves crash in how do you feel? this question is stupid. 4343. What do you think about under a midnight sky? i wanna go home. 4344. Who are ‘they’? Dunno 4345. Who cares what they think??? no one 4346. Do you ever let them stop you? depends 4347. What would you do if there were no limits? There are no limits. Go Do it. everything 4348. Will you dance with me? no 4349. Will you drink yourself on the floor with me? no 4350. Will you sleep in the streets with me? no. 4351. Courtney love or Madonna: musically? neither personality wise? neither looks? Courtney 4352. Do you have a negative attitude towards the opposite sex? no 4353. Can you imagine anything that would seriously improve the world? Trump going away 4354. Have you read the book Venus in Furs? Did it turn you on? no 4355. Velvet Underground with or without Nico? what 4356. Is there any similarity between what eminem is doing and what manson is doing? not really. 4357. Who wants to be your dog? a corgi does 4358. Are you SURE you aren’t pretentious(I’ve been reading SOME surveys that sound pretentious to me)? probably am 4359. Can you understand and express subtle and complex ideas? when i’m not exhausted probably. 4360. Is writing akin to thinking for you? yes 4361. What do you imagine it feels like to be a member of the opposite sex? probably nice 4362. Bowie’s Outside, can you tell who the murderer is? no? 4363. Are you a bad banana with a greasy black peel? no 4364. What do you think of the Atkins diet? diets are stupid 4365. 'If it bleeds, I will fuck it' How does that make you feel? ew 4366. The greatest shock rocker of all time is: no one The most pathetic shock rocker is: no one 4367. Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, or Red Dragon? none. 4368. If Dr Lechter were to visit you what would you do? nothing 4369. Who is your favorite director of movies? Chris Nolan 4370. What is Kubrick’s best film? A Clockwork Orange 4371. Fill in the blank as if you were speaking. I don’t want anybody else. When I think about ___ I touch myself. Lana Del Rey 4372. Are you overly confident and blinded to your own faults? If you were you probably wouldn’t know the extent of it. no; cool 4373. Do you like: King Crimson? no Emerson Lake and Palmer? no Tajmahol? no Republic? no Thursday? no 4374. Do you write your favorite bands on your clothing? no 4375. Are you wild and crazy? no 4376. Do you party like River Pheonix? no. 4377. What is it that you still are hiding? why would i say it if i’m hiding it? 4378. How attractive is a girl is a suit? How attractive is a guy in a dress? attractive? 4379. Why is it more acceptable for a girl to dress like a guy than for a guy to dress like a girl? i don’t care 4380. Why is being a girl seen as somehow something LESS than being a guy? ask someone ignorant. 4381. What are three things you value? honesty, loyalty, support 4382. What are three things you normally do that go against those values in some way? i lie...that’s all i can think of. 4383. Name three things society in general values? dunno 4384. Name three behaviors that society accepts as normal that go against those values? they lie, they aren’t loyal to their people, they don’t support their people. 4385. Name three highly specific things you look for in a potential mate? Matthew Charles Aselin. 4386. Who is the basis for your comparison when choosing a partner? if you’re not Matthew..I don’t want you. 4387. Have you ever given someone multiple orgasms or received them yourself? I’ve received them. 4388. The older generations thought the Beatles were hip. Now they think today’s music is shocking. What could music evolve into that people might find more shocking ten years from now? who knows 4389. Do you have any motives for your actions other than anger and lust? Lust isn’t even a motive for any of my actions lmao. Fear. 4390. Would you be more likely to rape someone or to kill someone? neither. 4391. What have you read by James Baldwin? not that i recall. 4392. Can you read Naked Lunch straight through in one sitting? dunno. 4393. Are you a snob? If yes, in what regards? probably; in things i like. 4394. Fill in the blank. ___ is all there is. Life 4395. Is common sense dead? basically. 4396. Are you unapproachable? i feel like it. 4397. Are you the kind of person strangers like to talk to? no 4398. Do social interactions energize or drain you (in general)? drain me. 4399. What’s the longest you have ever gone between sexual encounters? a while. I don’t have a sex drive really. 4400. Compare John Lennon and Kurt Cobain: i like Kurt Cobain better?

#me #survey

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surveys-at-your-service · 7 years

Text

Survey #87

“i wanted more than life could ever grant me.”

if you could would you take back your last kiss? i sure would. is the last person you kissed, going to be the next person you kiss? definitely not. how long was your longest make out? like... hours. if you told someone how far have you have gone with the opposite sex, how would others view you? honestly? i'd be called a prude by most. do you think love lasts forever? not always where will you go for your next holiday? mom wants to go to tennessee to see my brother. where was the last place you had a romantic dinner? i don't recall. how many colleges did you attend? two what are your thoughts on gas prices? i've seen worse. it's been over $4 once. does your shirt have buttons? no. what was the name of your first boyfriend? aaron do you ever get carsick? i never have. do you ever read things you wrote as a kid? what were you like? oh my god... i haven't in a long, long time because i was so cringey. would you be content to turn out just like your mom? no, honestly. if humans could have their eyes be any color in the world, which color would you want? hmmm... purple, maybe? red? pink? do you think it’s possible for an 18 year old to be ready to get married? honestly? no. you need to mature more before you make that dedication. ever been kissed by a legal adult when you were a minor or vise-versa? yes, actually. ever been kissed by someone you didn’t want to kiss? see above. have you ever given or received an obvious hickey? not too obvious. but that doesn't mean it wasn't seen lol o o p s where did you lose your virginity, if you have? i haven't. does it snow where you live? like once every other year. what flavor was the last ice cream you ate? chocolate would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake? beach, i guess. do you like folk rock? no. do you hate it when people post statuses on facebook like “today was amazing” “i’m off to bed”? "i'm off to bed" particularly annoys me. because no one cares. do you like the show "drake and josh"? SO MUCH who’s your favorite disney princess and why? i'm not really certain, but i'd say jasmine. it was ariel when i was a kid. do you like celery and peanut butter? i hate celery. do you like pulp-y orange juice? i can't drink orange juice with pulp in it. i gag. do you still have your tonsils? yes. do you prefer the old or new willy wonka film? i prefer the new one. do you think cow tipping is funny or cruel? very, very cruel did your high school principal know you by name? i highly doubt it. what’re your greatest weaknesses? i'm not confident at all. what about your greatest strengths? i guess that i'm dedicated? are you in love and if so, are you in a relationship with them? sadly i am not dating mark fischbach lmao if you had to choose, what would you say your favorite thing to do is? write or play games. what’s your biggest passion? meerkats and mark are pretty much tied. i am a sad human being. what or who is the most important thing or person in your life? probably my mom. when was the last time you felt particularly depressed? when i had a ptsd breakdown like a month ago. who’s your favorite person? i have said his name too many times in this survey lol what’s your biggest ambition? go to the kalahari desert and photograph meerkats. assuming you ever liked pokemon, which one is your favorite? ninetales! have you ever collected cards of any kind? pokemon cards as a kid. do you honestly have any feelings at ALL for anyone? i'll always have "feelings" for him. but that doesn't mean i love him anymore. if you could go back to 3 years ago and live it over would you? no. because i doubt i could survive my breakup twice. do you plan to moving out within the next year? no. do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? doubt it. when is your birthday? february 5th. who are your best friends? the closest thing i have to a best friend is sara. what do you think about people who cheat? they're pretty low to do such a thing. when angry, do you get loud or quiet? i can do one or the other. have you ever been in a secret relationship? kinda. ever been in a car accident? yes. are you afraid of the dark? no. are you a good driver? no. i'm too anxious to be a good driver. who do you wish you would never see again? why? rachel, and because i'm sure she's still a motherfucking bitch. have you ever experimented with drugs? which type and what happened? no, and i don't plan to. what’s your greatest insecurity? my weight. now that i'm off abilify though, i'm losing quite a bit. have you ever been hospitalized? what for? yes, for suicide attempts and being suicidal. how long does it take for you to take a shower? not even 15 minutes. i don't understand how people can take such long showers?? like do your shit and get out. do you like the smell of gasoline? fuck no. gives me a headache. how many kids do you want to have? i only ever want furry and scaly babies. have you eaten an apple today? no. i doubt i'm ever gonna be able to eat one again comfortably, though, now that my lip's re-pierced in the middle. i can't even drink from soda cans. who was your 3rd grade teacher? mrs. britt would you ever tattoo the name of a bf/gf or spouse on yourself? nope, never. how awkward are you? to the fucking max. favorite fast food joint? bojangle's. ya'll outside nc don't know what you're missing. what would you do if your ex contacted you? jason? answer him. tyler? ignore him. last time you had anal sex? never have, NEVER want to. vodka, whiskey, or rum? i wouldn't know. i'm not sure i've ever had any of them? do you know cpr? no. but i really should learn. what age would you like to have a child? preferably never. are your parents wealthy? hell no. your nickname? most people online call me ozz, or just my real name. pick one state you’d love to live in? utah. how many pets do you want? and of what? more than anything, i want a ball python morph. i also want another lizard, but i'm not sure what kind. i'd love an akita inu or papillon, or maybe a saint bernard (i'd need a bigger house or yard for that, though). i also want a sphinx soooo badly. a ferret would be nice, but idk if i could handle something with so much energy. i want a lop-earred rabbit, but i know i'd best not, because their cages require sooo much maintenance. i also would like a cockatiel, but i doubt i'll ever actually get a bird. what if you stopped orgasming for the rest of your life? i honestly wouldn't care. i never have before, so i mean i could live the rest of my life without it. your favorite breakfast food? pancakes. but they have to be well-made pancakes. is the last person you kissed a virgin? probably not. have you ever let someone be your everything? yeah. don't ever do that. do you believe that everyone deserves a second chance? nope. last person you kissed? tyler. regrettably. what is the last song you heard? the acoustic version of "another song about the weekend" by ad2r are you nice to everyone? i try to be, but i guess realistically i'm not. do you crack your knuckles a lot? i never do. they don't crack. is the taste of beer good to you? never tried it, never want to. the smell is awful enough. do you think extensions look fake? sometimes. are you high? never been high. compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? WAAAAAY happier. is there a girl that knows everything about you? i don't think so, no. have you ever played slender? the phone app, yes. never got into it. do you find it offensive when people use terms like retard? honestly, yes. maybe it's stupid, but it's a personal trigger of mine. i just think it's very rude how often that term is misused. retardation is not a joke. do you have a weak stomach? nah. what age group do you find the most annoying? like 12-15. do you believe in evolution? nope. do you prefer listening to music out loud or through headphones? headphones. do you think that you’re smart? i used to. i was an a student in school, only sometimes getting a b in high school. idk whatever happened. do you read creepy pasta? if not, you should. nope. "never say never," do you prefer the one by justin bieber or the fray? the fray, of course. have you ever vandalized? no. have you ever felt you were the “random face in the yearbook”? of course. what is your religion? creationist christian which do you remember more: insults? or compliments? insults, definitely. do you like eating chocolate covered cherries or strawberries? strawberries, yes. well actually... i did try chocolate-covered cherries once, and they were fine. but it's weird, because i hate cherries? ever had a really scary dream? tell me about it. i'd rather not. my two worst nightmares ever include my dad, and they happened after the divorce. would you rather have pasta or chicken? pasta. what's your favorite flower? not entirely sure of my all-time favorite flower anymore. i adore tiger lilies, and roses with a peach-pink gradient are absolutely wonderful. do you like spaghetti? i love spaghetti. pick one: apples or oranges? apples. i hate oranges. too bitter. what do you like better: sour or sweet candy? if i had to pick, sour. would you ever tell your mom about the things you’ve done sexually? i mean totally honest, i don't have much to hide, but i still wouldn't. would you rather pierce your tongue or lip? lip, which is pierced. do you have an attitude? i can. would you kiss someone to make your ex bf/gf mad? no. i'm not that petty. do you wear a ring on your finger? on my right ring finger. what’s the last kind of soup you ate? don't know. i don't really like soup. so, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3 am, do you let them in? nope. does it bother you when people smoke around you? very much. ever kissed a smoker? no, and i refuse to. honestly - have you ever written something on a bathroom stall? nope. are you the oldest, middle, youngest, or an only child? middle do you like the ocean? yes, but i'm also scared of it. what do/did you normally get detentions for? i only ever got detention for too many tardies. are your ears gauged? no. i don't like ear gauges. are you moving soon? no. we just moved like two months ago. if you could move (and SERIOUSLY think about this) where would you move? to the mountains of nc. have you ever cut your own hair? nope. have you ever had a close friend/family member die? a close family friend, rather. i was a child and didn't fully "get" that she was totally gone. did you ever have a ‘security blanket’ when you were younger? yep. it was covered in baby animals. what is your all time favorite band? if i had to pick only one and one alone, it's always going to be ozzy osbourne. what time does your dad usually wake up in the morning? i don't live with my dad. how many prescription pills have you tried? i don't like how this is worded. like... i haven't "tried" anything in that sense. i've been prescribed like around 20 in my whole life. do you know anyone who has died in battle? no. when did/are you graduate high school? 2014 would you ever get an abortion? NO. what is one word you can’t stand? ugh. "cunt." i'm not even comfortable writing it. do you snore? not to my knowledge. do you chew on straws? no. can you blow a bubble? yes. can you do a cart wheel? no. can you wiggle your ears? no. can you touch your tongue to your nose? no. last baby you held? ryder, my nephew. are you a flirty person? no, generally. to you, is feeling a ‘connection’ important on the first date? yes. like i don't expect a massive connection, no, but you need something. do you kiss on the first date? nope. m&ms or skittles? usually skittles. are you the kind of person that takes pictures with a drink in your hand? nope. is the thing you regret the most unspeakable? i mean not really. but i still don't talk about it. if you HAD to change your eye color what would it be to? green. here’s $500, what do you spend it on? a tattoo, probably. would you rather be librarian or a stripper? librarian. under no circumstance would i be a stripper. are you comfortable with your height? sure. have you ever been stung by a bee? no, actually. hottest teacher you ever had? mr. sarina *swoons* ... funny story, he got charged for having sexual relations with a minor some years later lmao do you have a house key? yeah. does your house have a fireplace? no. are there ever tornadoes where you live? super rarely do you like watermelons more or cherries? i honestly don't like either. but if i had to pick, watermelon. do you think you are an argumentative person? definitely not. was the last person you kissed physically attractive? if you want honesty, no. can you listen to music and read at the same time? only if it's instrumental. do you know anyone that owns horses? yes. do any medical afflictions run in your family? high blood pressure, high cholesterol, depression, and bipolarity, schizophrenia, and cancer are in question. what’s your favorite mexican dish? i hate mexican food. have you ever been to a professional sports game? hockey, yes. how far do you live from new york city? at least 10-11 hours. do you prefer pads, tampons or something else? tampons. i can't do pads. i don't want to wear a bloody diaper. how many boyfriends or girlfriends have you ever had? only one that was serious. one less-than-24-hours misunderstanding, one puppylove, and tyler... fuck dude idk what he was. i'm not even comfortable calling him a boyfriend. what’s the name of your first real boyfriend or girlfriend? jason. do you clean your ears daily? not daily, no. what’s the best job you’ve ever had? i've never had an evenly remotely good job. how about the worst? dollar store cashier. holy fuck no. have you ever visited someone in prison? no. and i wouldn't be able to, if they were justly convicted. do you own any animal print clothes? no. do you like chick-flicks? sometimes. favorite funny movie? "white chicks" omgggg what is your favorite kind of berry? strawberry do you have any tattoos? tell me about them. my first is a semicolon butterfly that is tribute to both the semicolon and butterfly projects. my second is "perfectly flawed," which is an otep song that tends to make me feel a bit better when i'm down. my third is "ohana," but the "o" and a slanted semi-circle thing makes a heart. my most recent is the quote "how rare and beautiful it is to even exist" with a crescent moon-ish shape behind it. have you ever had casual sex? fuck no. do you drink diet or regular soda? regular. diet sodas give me a headache. have you ever been to europe? no, but i would fucking love to. do you like fruit and vegetable combo juices? you mean like, v8? i like the fruit ones. i can guarantee i'd hate the vegetable ones. have you ever blocked someone on facebook? why? yep, and because she was verbally threatening me. were your grandparents present when you were born? i don't know. have you ever played the game angry birds? no. do you own any jewelry containing your birthstone? yes. what condiments do you like on hamburgers? a little bit of ketchup and mustard. are you claustrophobic? in 90% of situations, yes as fuck. around what time do you usually eat dinner? as early as 5:30 to like 8:00. whenever mom makes something. do you like foods with coconut in it? no. do you like carrots more if they’re raw, or cooked? i hate carrots. did you play with legos as a kid? no, but i did play with lincoln logs. is there a food that you love the taste of, but makes you feel sick? bananas. i get heartburn from hell itself almost immediately. have you ever visited your country’s capital city? no, but we've driven very close to it while driving up to new york. what’s your favorite kind of mint? (peppermint/wintergreen/spearmint/etc.) peppermint have you ever been to ohio? yes. dad's family is there. what is your last name’s heritage/country of origin? scotland. is the area in which you live flat, hilly, or mountainous? flat. have you ever logged onto a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush’s social media account? nope. have you ever had a eating disorder? no, thankfully. how many proms have you been to in your life? two. do you like polar bears? yeah! do you know who your latest ex is dating? i don't know and don't care who he's dating, if he is at all. have you ever had bronchitis? no. are you afraid of snakes? not at all. i mean i'd obviously give a venomous snake its space because i don't want to die, but in general, snakes don't scare me. when’s the last time you saw a rat? not since i had pet rats. what is your ringtone? "telescope" by starset. it's about time i changed it, but getting music onto my phone is such a bear. what’s your favorite symbol/character associated with halloween? (black cats, ghosts, bats, etc) BATS! what’s your favorite gemstone? dragon's breath opal. is that also your birthstone? no. my birthstone is amethyst.

#surey #questions #quiz #asks #answered

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2am-euphoria · 6 years

Note

75,84,8,13,86,90!

75. Do you study better with or without music?

I would say that depends more on a lot of things. I study and write papers really well with soft piano music in a quiet place with days before the exam. But typically during the day of an exam or in a loud environment, no music is going to help me focus lol

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

Like underwater? Lmao yes but only for about a minute at the very most. Otherwise I’ve actually gotten really good at holding my breath to help calm myself down during panic attacks lol, it was something I learned to do because it helps you have a deeper out-breath (which calms the body).

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

OKAY LET’S CHAT ABOUT THIS. I’ve seen both guys and girls get VERY intoxicated before-stumbling around, throwing up, making poor decisions, or being otherwise VERY VERY VERY drunk. Sometimes these people were friends, sometimes they were random people at a party or a bar. And I don’t find it “disgusting.” It happens to a LOT of people for a LOT of reasons. And quite frankly I find this idea of thinking that girls are “trashy” and “easy” when getting wasted to be super sexist (we don’t treat drunk men this way to NEARLY the same extent). As a decent human being, if I see someone wasted, my first reaction is honestly going to be to watch out for them, and intervene if necessary no matter who it is. People can drink too much alcohol and get wasted. It happens. Don’t fucking make fun of them. Don’t ignore or mock them. Because if that ever happened to you, you wouldn’t want to be with people who would treat you the way you treat others.

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

Lmao my boyfriend and I are basically gonna copy John Legend and Chrissy Teigen and stay in bed all day and cuddle and order pizza and eat it in bed while watching movies LOL and I’m really excited for it

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

So I have only been to one wedding in my life and that wedding had a band there and they were really cool but I’m super picky and not a huge fan of cover music soooo I will probably have a DJ. BUT everyone will get the chance to enjoy Katherine and I’s live duet drunk karaoke singing to Drake’s “Marvin’s Room” which we decided we’re gonna sing, even if it’s a sad song, because we’ve been loving it 5ever

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

I personally would only marry someone after having sex with them because having sex before marriage isn’t something that I find sinful or “bad,” if anything I think it’s a another way to understand how well you communicate with each other! If people choose to wait it doesn’t affect me, but it wouldn’t be something I would choose for myself.

Thank you! Sorry Anon I know this ask was sent out way earlier in the day but I think I’m coming down with a cold and feeling like Grade-A crap which is NOT WELCOMED oh well.

#anon

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surveys-at-your-service · 7 years

Text

Survey #55

whoa. random surge in followers overnight. uh. hi. i’m here to disappoint.

have you stayed up past 3 in the morning this week? yeah. chels and i were up two nights later than that because we couldn't sleep. the last person you spoke to, do you know their eye color? mom, they're brown. do you own a trench coat? i wish. they're cool. are you currently in a smoking environment? no, you're not allowed to smoke in my house. have you ever been afraid to call someone, even if you knew them well? i'm afraid to call anyone who isn't my mom. the last person who texted you, have you ever fought with them? yeah. i'm two seconds from fighting with her right now because she knows exactly how to be an ignorant bitch. are you scared of anything irrational? is pregnancy an irrational fear? how about whale sharks? can you do a cartwheel? nope. never have been able to. do you watch the super bowl just for the commercials? i don't watch the super bowl period. the only time i ever did was on my 16th birthday because i was at jason's house and the giants were playing, his dad's favorite team, and the whole family was over. first time i kissed jason on the cheek was when they won. how often is it that you make a post on any sort of social media, and then delete it soon after? why? i've actually never done that. have your ideas and expectations about adulthood changed as you’ve gotten older? of course. i didn't believe it would have anything to do with being a crumbling piece of shit. i thought i would be fearless, responsible, and just overall prepared. have you ever taken time off to focus on your mental health? are you the type of person that is able to take a break or are you more likely to bury yourself in responsibility? i mean i guess i have, since i've committed myself to a mental hospital more than once? and i really do a mix of both... just depends. do you have a different group of friends on a site besides this one? i have no tumblr friends, i have one rp bd, i have a number on deviantart... if you are or were in college, when you share your major with people how do they usually react? if you are not in college, how do you explain your job situation to others and what is their reaction? it's usually an "oh, that's cool." nothing cool. when you watch competition shows, do you feel an automatic support for a competitor who’s from your state or region? i mean, mildly i guess. do you think it is possible that eventually humans will create enough technology to completely or nearly completely automate work and free up people to a new experience of social relations without “jobs” as we know them today? one day, sure. do you enjoy taking selfies and do you enjoy looking at other people’s selfies? if i feel i look pretty, sure. and yeah, bc i feel happy that they took a picture of themselves that makes them feel gorgeous. are there any songs that you enjoy, but the lyrics are problematic/downright offensive? what about films with shady directors or plot points? how do you negotiate liking art or artists that represent offensive ideas or that have problematic politics? the song that immediately comes to mind is "bitches" by hollywood undead. i DO NOT know why i like it, but i do. as far as liking artists go, it doesn't affect whether or not i'll enjoy them. it's just expression, the way i see it. what is your opinion of protest marches? what about different tactics taken by activists such as boycotts, shutting down highways, sit-ins, and even blockades of trade ships? what do you think is the best method to actually enact change? i have no problem with protests, but i'm more iffy when it interferes daily activities, like if you do shut down a highway. i think the best way to enact change is by exposing a person to the issue, but sometimes that isn't enough, anyway. do you believe in parallel universes or infinite possibilities or do you tend to believe that what we see and know now is pretty much it? no, i don't believe in parallel universes. what if you died in your sleep tonight? maybe it'd be a good thing, honestly. have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do? more than once. are there things in your life that you’ll never be able to get over? i'm certain. name one person you wish you could fix things with? jason, period. when was the last time you completely broke down? not even an hour ago. colleen pissed me off beyond belief. have you ever turned to smoking or drinking to solve a problem? i mean, i've drunk to forget about them for a while, but not to solve them. what are you listening to right now? sleeping with sirens' cover of "iris" has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? not pretty enough to keep him around. what do you think of therapists? i've seen no less than ten, and for the most part, they want money and to shove medicine down your fucking throat. would you ever go to a sperm bank to get pregnant? no. i really don't know how i feel about artificial insemination. if a little kid walked up to you and asked, “are you goth?”, how would you respond? "maybe." does it annoy you when people say their heart is “broken”? no, because heartbreak is a very valid, serious emotion. why aren’t you talking to the last person you kissed? because he fucking hates me and i'm pretty sure i'm one word from a restraining order, survey maker. are you mad at someone right now? pretty sure i'm eternally stuck in a mad state towards jason's girlfriend ashley. because i'm a child. has anyone ever told you they wanted to marry you? hm. funny. he's not here anymore. has a laptop ever burned your legs? so bad that my stretch marks there are burned into the flesh, yes. when at a restaurant, do you put your napkin on your lap? nope. do you want to be friends with your recent ex? if he's with anyone but me, as selfish as that sounds? no. i'd rather die. what did you hate most about your last relationship? i "hated" nothing about it. do you understand the true meaning of “loving someone so much it hurts”? hello, darkness, my old friend. i know it too well, and am experiencing it now. i have a terrible headache and feel sick to my stomach. has true love had a way of showing you that it can conquer anything? no, because it can't. sorry to crush your fairytale. did you ever play frogger when you were a kid? fuck yeah. i could only ever beat the first level tho lmao. do you love deep? too deep. can you ever see yourself and your ex back together? yes, easily. the only problem being is i'm well aware i'd have MASSIVE trust issues for a while. what's your favorite vegetable? broccoli, i guess. where would you like to be in 5 years? with a job. with someone i sincerely love. what was the experience that impacted you the most in your life? jason leaving me. it, literally, scarred me for life. would you be with someone who doesn’t have the same beliefs as you? depends on the beliefs that vary. ex., i will date someone of a different religion (depends on the religion though, really), but to be totally honest, i wouldn't date someone who was, like, pro-choice. it really depends on the belief, because your beliefs portray important, certain parts of you. what did your last relationship teach you? that literally anyone will hurt you. what do you think of online dating? i honestly don't know. i don't think it's for me personally, even tho i'm on one... do you like someone you’re interested in to pursue you or do you prefer to do the chasing? what do i prefer? both. but guess who's the only one doing the chasing in this scenario... do you think confessions make a relationship stronger? i mean it has a potential to ruin them, but at the same time, if you're with the right person, it'll only make yours stronger. would you relocate for love? for a new relationship? no. for a long-term partner? yeah. have you seen the person you love/like recently? how is he/she doing? no, and i don't fucking know. what color is your jewelry box? oh no... sigh. my jewelry box is black with gold trimming. it's very intricate and beautiful. jason got it for me one christmas. can you solve a rubik’s cube? nope. have you ever watched porn? no, and i don't plan on it. have you ever sleep walked? no. what would you want to be written on your tombstone? maybe "she joined the black parade"??? lol i saw it on pinterest once and loved it. would love to incorporate my taste of music on my tombstone. mom wants "my body lies, but still i roam" from "wherever i may roam" by metallica on hers. do you like carrots? noooo. have you ever worn lingerie? no. what is your favorite profanity? "fuck," because there's usually so much emotion behind the word. have you ever masturbated? no, the idea's just... really gross. i don't care how clean i am. would you rather be hated or forgotten? i know what it's like to be forgotten. i'd rather be hated. spit or swallow? ... i'm going to just go along with this and let my mind be dirty like you want it to, and say it's not going in my mouth to begin with, sorry. what was your first rated r movie? "scary movie," i think. who was your favorite musician as a kid? do you still like them now? i think my first true favorite band was green day, and yes, i still love them. have you ever gotten ‘bullied’ over social media? was it anonymous or not? not via social media, but rather on a forum. it was not anonymous. if you could get a piercing anywhere, and not have to worry about it healing, where would you get one? my favorite piercing overall is a labret lip piercing, so i guess that. i'd get my back dermals pierced if i didn't have to worry about the possibility of them ripping out. if you could only have one type of sex for the rest of your life, would you choose anal, vaginal, or oral? anal grosses me out, oral grosses me out, so vaginal. who or what do you love unconditionally? jason, my mom... what is something you have done that you’re proud of? many small things, really. what’s your blood type? a what was the last thing you giffed? i've never managed to make a proper gif when you go out to breakfast, what do you order? pancakes, eggs, bacon or sausage is there a phrase or mantra you repeat when you are frightened? in some cases, i tend to whisper, "i can do all things through christ who strengthens me." have you ever worked at the same place as your best friend? no. what’s your favorite pet name someone calls you? "love." it's so sincere and sweet. would you give mouth to mouth to your dog to save its life? duh. have you ever had a pet destroy something valuable or important? yup. ever had a feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? i knew jason was leaving me like a week before it happened. kept asking him if he was going to leave me, he kept saying no. fucking liar. what do you check out first when you check someone out? i don't really check people out. it's lustful. i mean i may see someone i think is attractive, but my eyes don't linger. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? no, honestly. i'm not a baby. i'm a woman. do you like the idea of promise rings in relationships? if you're not tight on money, i guess i do. it shows you're serious. but like i just mentioned, if you're not very blessed financially, just stick with the engagement and wedding rings. can anyone in your immediate family play the guitar? no. why were you last frustrated? now. my best friend is ridiculously close-minded. how much have you changed in the last year or so? i've only gotten more and more depressed. do you have a favorite name? what is it? yeah, alessandra. what was your favorite disney movie as a kid? is it still your favorite? the lion king, and i think so. or finding nemo. when did you first start using the internet often? idk what age, but i know it was when i got into neopets. have you ever been told your aspirations are unrealistic? yes, actually. have you ever been called vain? do you agree with them? no. do you believe prayer really works? you know, i don't really know. don't get me wrong, i'm a christian, but i have prayed enough, and it hasn't done jackshit. ever dated someone you were best friends with first? i'm not sure i would've called him my "best" friend, no. last person to take off your pants, besides you? jason. think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you laughed with them? too. many. times. what’s something you really want right now, be honest? i want jason, honest to god. who was the last person to yell at you? colleen, i think. what motivates you to go to school? i really shouldn't answer this right now... have you ever felt like you were going out of your mind? already far out of it. does your animal sleep with you? no, mom doesn't let him, because he's old and has accidents. do you own a robe? no. i found a bat one on pinterest tho that i really want. do you bathe your pets regularly? not as often as i should, to be fair. i try to give him a bath once a month. do you own any Batman movies? no, despite really liking the dark knight and the dark knight rises. i'll never be able to own them, because jason loooves batman. thus, ptsd trigger. do you believe vampires are real? no. are you someone who has to hide the things you like around friends? i... honestly do. this didn't start up until jason left, and after thinking through it, i realized i do this because by him leaving, a part of me feels like all my interests were like, de-validated or something, like it made them so they were "wrong" and "unlikable?" i mean i even do this to my best friend. she doesn't know half the shit i enjoy. do you remember when they used to actually throw candy out at parades? you mean they don't do that anymore?! when was the last time you babysat, if ever? did anything bad happen? YEARS ago for my neighbor. nothing bad happened, but she did run around naked when i was changing her diaper lmao. do you ever talk to people you met online through webcam? or is that weird? NONONOONOONO TOO SHY how many people have you kissed in your lifetime so far? who were they? romantically, i've only ever kissed jason. do you know anyone named alyssa? if so, elaborate. yes. old forum rp partner. still a decent friend. she's probably markiplier's biggest fan and even has a warfstache tattoo. i worry about her occasionally, though, from some of her facebook posts. would you ever take a pole dancing class? hmmm. i wouldn't rule it out completely, because i really appreciate dancing, but realistically, no, i don't think i would. especially at my weight. when is the last time you pulled an "all nighter" (where you stay awake the entire night to the next day)? what was the reason you did so, and was it worth it? the last time i stayed up purely all night was when "world of warcraft: legion" released, so that was uh, september i think? to be totally honest, i did it mostly out of nostalgia; when "wow: warlords of draenor" released, back when jason and i were still together, we stayed up all night for that, too. i mean, i guess it was worth it. that game was once very important to me. what is one life experience most people around you seem to have had that you haven't (marriage, kids, work-related, etc)? conversely, what is one life experience you've had that most people around you haven't? at my age, definitely sex. people are so surprised when i reveal my virginity. one life experience i've had that most haven't is just living with a mental illness. do you give pets or animals silly nicknames? what's the funniest or most embarrassing nickname you've given an animal? i'll call teddy a variety of things... "teddy-boo," "my boo," etc. name something you consider to be completely unforgivable, no matter what the circumstances. why is it so egregious to you? what should happen to someone who does it? rape. there is literally no reason to do it, that's why it pisses me off so much, and it's beyond degrading to the victim. honestly? i almost support the death penalty when it comes to rape. if you were exiled, what country would you choose as your new home? canada or germany, i guess. i'd prefer germany, but if i really wanna be in an english-speaking land, then canada. what's the last time that you were really happy? what were you doing? who were you with? what made that time so special? i would say when i was drunk a few days back, but i dunno if you'd consider that true happiness. are you self conscious about wearing a bathing suit? yeah. i'm not skinny, so. who were the last people you saw besides from family? chelsea do you only wish the best for your ex? you want the honest truth? i don't know what i wish for him if i'm not going to be with him. i guess if i really thought about it, i don't, considering i don't want him to marry or have kids with anyone but me. all other things though, i mean yes, i wish him the world. do you think that once people get married, they eventually fall “out of love?” no! have you ever been called a tease? teehee. when was the last time you laughed so hard you thought you were going to cry? new year's when chelsea showed me this video meme related to jimmy neutron. i was tipsy though and normally wouldn't have laughed that hard. have you ever been stalked? no. which band/group have the most lyrics that represent you? hmm. otep, i guess. the last person you kissed, were they a good kisser? he's italian, baby. do you throw things when you’re angry? no. do you hit things when you’re angry? i've punched my headrest before. are you missing school yet? literally the only thing i miss about it is jason. your ex calls wanting to hang out. what do you say? ever seen a woman fangirl? because that's what you'd see. anyway, i'd try to be really calm and say, "of course!" would you get back with your last ex if they asked you? fucking YES, if he apologized to me for all that happened and i believed he truly meant it. do you want someone dead? ... yeah. are you the one that normally makes the first move? with my history, i guess i kinda am. when was the last time you sang along with a song? which one was it? i believe it was earlier today when i played "this is gospel" by p!atd what’s your favorite type of cake? red velvet where did your first kiss take place? jason's bed can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you? my mom comes with me how long is your average shower? like eight minutes do you like pineapple on pizza? no. do you want a tattoo? i have a pinterest board of about 100 ideas i'm highly considering, lmao. what posters do you have in your room? in my current room, i only have one; it has a unicorn seeing a therapist that's saying "you need to believe in yourself." my old/real room, i have uhh... metallica, marilyn manson, various silent hill, illidan, and other posters. what was your elementary school’s mascot? bulldog what was the last job you applied for? i don't know. i did a mass application months ago. do you use your turn signals when you’re driving? of course. how tall is the last person you kissed? 5'9'', i think. are you wasting your time on the person you like? i'm sure i am. have you ever watched a movie in another language? not a full movie, no. are you afraid to answer sexual questions? not really. what is your favorite type of cat? ummm i love persians, sphynxes, and fuck i'm forgetting one... do women breastfeeding in public make you feel uncomfortable? why or why not? no, and honest to god, fuck you if you've got a problem with it. GUESS WHAT BOOBS ARE FOR??? FEEDING HER OFFSPRING! sorry to sound so volatile, but holy fuck i'm passionate about this. name one of your ex’s mother’s names? virginia. i miss her. a lot. have you ever been prescribed narcotics? xanax, yes. i'm going to talk to my doctor about putting me back on it, because it actually fucking worked. i was taken off of it because it was a narcotic. have you ever had a concussion? yeah. i passed out in my shower and banged my chin against the floor, leaving a deep gash. is there an animal that you’re afraid of? WHALE SHARKS, maggots, some spiders. what is your favorite eeveelution (evolution of the pokemon eevee)? OHHHH GOD DON'T EVEN. lmao honestly i'm tied between espeon and umbreon, i really love them both, but i guess if it was like choose or die, i really like espeon. she's so majestic. out of the original three, i like vaporeon the most. which part of your state/province do you live in[upper,lower,middle]? eastern, like two hours from the beach. do you chew on your hair? ew, no. do you eat more home cooked meals or more ‘quick n easy’ type of foods? quick 'n easy, i guess. like mom will usually buy pre-packaged hot dogs, chicken nuggets, ground beef for hamburgers, etc. do you eat even when you’re not hungry? i wouldn't be overweight otherwise. in my defense, it's because of my depression. i feel so fucking empty and i confuse it with hunger. do you go insane without music? i mean, not really. don't get me wrong, i love music, but i don't go insane if i'm not listening to it for a while. is there an upcoming concert you want to go to? carolina rebellion, yes. cr is where TONS of rock and metal bands play at the same concert over the course of a few days. korn's coming to this one, who i'm really keen on seeing. is technology outsmarting humans? in some ways, certainly. how often do you use mouthwash? like never, but i wish we had some. what is your favorite musical? i don't like musicals, honestly. do you like the smell of burning leaves? noooo. do you tend to laugh when people get hurt, even when it’s serious? if i think it was serious, i never laugh, i honestly gasp and panic, but if you just like, trip, i admit, i'll laugh if i know you, but i'll still ask if you're okay. are you procrastinating something right now? kinda. have you tried those new banana creme oreos? no, sounds gross. i usually hate banana-flavored stuff. when was the last time you went out of state? last summer for ashley and nick's wedding. we drove just barely into virginia.

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