then-it-rained-drabbles

[then-it-rained-drabbles]

P.I Grumpy

Mr. Grumpy is one square looking guy. Everything has to be thought out in a nice symmetrical order.

Parking his square black car across the street from his ex-wife's house, Lil Miss Sunshine, he sucks on a square cigarette before taking out his camera. He exhales grumpily thinking he should've let someone else take the case.

It's not too long before he hears uncontrollable laughter erupt into the late afternoon air. Mr. Grumpy's eyes slit into rectangles as orange tentacle-like arms wave into camera view.

Click. Shutter.

There was only one guy who could fit the profile....Mr. Tickles.

#drabble #Drabblecast #short story #mr.men #little miss sunshine #creative writing #Hellcat #parody #satire

[then-it-rained-drabbles]

The Cafe Divide

As Dover the Labradoodle swung through the doors with his gorgeous Red Setter date, every single head in the cafe snapped up with accusing eyes. Momentarily paralysed, he pushes himself forward and finds a table towards the back.

Times had progressed, but animals still lived to a certain degree of segregation. Humans still controlled their movement, and still weren't as free as their fellow pet counterpart. No longer leashed, but put on parole, hence the date.

Scarlet, being the impulsive type forgot this, as she pawed a waiter's attention.

This was cat territory.

He knew he should've been more careful

#Drabblecast #drabble #short story #creative writing #Hellcat #cats #dogs #cafe #segregation #misc #cat cafe

[then-it-rained-drabbles]

Cooking For Cannibals

It's always hard to decide what to eat when it comes to meal times. Should you pick something quick and easy? Or go the whole hog, and start from scratch? Then there's the other question of what cuisine to have.

Plucking at the pages of my cook book for inspiration, I finally settle between two choices. Brain batter with spaghetti entrails, or battered brain and fingers?

Both are relatively quick I suppose, but the first means sticky fingers, and I hate that. Plus, who doesn't like soft crunchy textures?

Oh frick, I forgot to check the English-man's expiration date!

#drabble #short story #cannibalism #zombie #cooking #storytelling #cannibal cooking #zombie cooking #creative writing #dark humor #horror #horror comedy

[then-it-rained-drabbles]

He Had A Farm

When the first wave of raw magic hit the land, the first thing it did was give animals a human voice. This proved problematic to farmers who sold dairy and meat. Made it real awkward too. Many simply quit, or grew only veggies and such. And then there was MacDonald.

They say he had a farm, once upon a time. The constant animal chit-chat drew him to madness though. He thought he could he teach the animals what they were suppose to say, with an ax and pitchfork. Eventually, the cows did say 'moo', and the sheep said 'baa'.

#drabble #Drabblecast #short story #horror #nursery rhymes #MacDonald #farm #animals #magic

[then-it-rained-drabbles]

Tooth & Coin

Pre-dawn had arrived and with it a tired, grumpy pixie-sized woman riding on the back of a grey squirrel carrying a heavy satchel through the woods. Faeries used to eat children half a millenia ago.They were fantastically delicious, especially when ground into baked bread.They gave that certain sweet innocence no other creature could provide. But a deal was struck between humankind and their Queen. The pixie-woman spots her first customer, a goblin, and counts out seven teeth. He tutts at her, "Is that all you have?! That barely covers a cracker. What a rip off."

#drabble #short story #drabblecast #pixie #fairytale #fairy #faerie #goblin #tooth #teeth #tooth fairy #tooth faerie

[then-it-rained-drabbles]

Grammatically Correct

You look like a smart, capable person, let me ask you something. When you were small, and people asked you what or who you wanted to be, how did you answer exactly? Speak truthfully. Every single wish I've ever granted has always been said in past tense. The client starts with, "I wish I was..." which leaves the potential for dubious wish parameters. It's never, 'I wish to be..." If you want to be famous, say you want 'to be', not that you 'were' or 'was'. It's not my fault they end up dead shortly after with grammar like that.

#Genie #wishes #wish #grammar #grammatically #correct #drabble #short story #Norm Sherman

[then-it-rained-drabbles]

Freedom Is A Paradox

A vast waste of white space enveloped 2B's vision. He rambles across Paper, unsure where to go, until a thud and scrape could be heard in the distance. The sounds draw grow closer and closer. In a panic he trips over rubbery bones, and is met by the monstrous Unholy Ruler that bars his way from freedom. It roars a challenge between clenched millimetre teeth, "You may only live if you answer this one riddle. How can there be no rules if the only rule is 'no rules'?" 2B gulps, but the answer reveals itself, "Rules are only an illusion."

#drabble #drabblecast #norm sherman #short story #short stories #paradox #pencil #paper #rubber #ruler #rules #freedom

[then-it-rained-drabbles]

Plenty Of Fish In The Sea

Shannon surfed the net's online dating websites when she suddenly came across a real Casanova. His profile picture looked amazing. He was on a beach somewhere reclining on his side gazing sexily at the camera. His torso rippled with chiselled abs, his skin glowed golden under the sun's rays and shared Shannon's passion for scuba diving and sushi. His name was Gabriel, and he looked too good to be true.

  She decided to email him and meet at her local Sushi bar a couple blocks away. When they finally met, she did not expect him to arrive on her plate.

#merman #mermaid #sushi #online dating #Drabblecast #drabble #drabbles #short story #short stories #surreal #fantasy #relationships #Georgia Warley-Cummings #Norm Sherman

[then-it-rained-drabbles]

Elf Checkout

"Every little helps"’, Taffy beams her elfish smile to her last customer. whilst she massages the back of her short aching legs. Her shift was almost over and the night was starting to creep in.

 A middle aged pot bellied man lurches up her lane with aged booze in tow and slams it down on the counter. The glass bottles quake and jingle as the man lets out a toxic belch. Taffy wrinkles her nose in utter disgust. "Well pardon me. Sorry for wantin' a bit of 'Elf Help," the man chuckles heartily. "Actually Sir, I'm a Munchkin.," Taffy growls. 

#Drabblecast #drabble #drabbles #short stories #short story #elf #christmas stories #munchkin #Munchkin #lmidget #midgets #Georgia Warley-Cummings #creative writing #Norm Sherman #Hellcat #Cerridwen

[then-it-rained-drabbles]

Food Landscapes

To the left of my vision, I see nothing but meaty marbled mountains that stretch into the horizon. To my right there are fragrant leafy forests that hold fruity gems and golden potatoes, but it was beyond all of that which drew my attention. It was the imaginings of the hot creamy Dessert Dunes and its secret Swiss cheesed caves that held such gloriously savoury treasures. They say many men have died there and gone to heaven, but are lost from us forever. Only the crumbs of their crackers remain to mark their passing. My eyes eat it all in.

#pudding #food #dessert #desert #dunes #food landscapes #short story #surreal #fantasy #Georgia Warley-Cummings #drabble #drabblecast #Norm Sherman #Hellcat

[then-it-rained-drabbles]

No Ordinary Woman

The competition was fierce, but Cindy knew she would win with her smoky looks and witty personality. She felt confident, but she couldn't stop all six of her legs from shaking.

She heard her rival's song end and mentally prepared herself, "...So don't you bring me down today."  

Cake's song played next and Cindy spun violet strands of silk about her like feather boas. The crowd made entranced sounds whilst she stomped her black stilettos across the stage. She toyed with her jacket's lapels and let the air dance under her short skirt. She would show them true monstrous beauty.

_________________

Side note: Working on the title, but just wanted to share with you some thoughts. I didn't realize just how many songs make women sound like they've got a secret monstrous side. Just go and have a listen at Billy Joel's 'Just Another Woman' which I literally stumbled onto today.

http://youtu.be/UHfBXHari34

#drabble #drabbles #Drabblecast #creative writing #short story #short stories #Hellcat #Norm Sherman #No Ordinary Woman #monsters #monster #monstrous women #Georgia Warley-Cummings #fantasy #surreal

[then-it-rained-drabbles]

Something Funny Walks This Way

Sherbet the burlesque clown ran for his life, chased by two blurry figures cackling in the night. There was little hope for escape. His opaque makeup streams down his face onto the pavement leaving a steady white trail behind him.

Suddenly the shadows become solid and bore down on his throat and wrists. One of them stops and furiously spits out Sherbet's hot blood. "Adrian, don't ingest its blood!" but it was too late for his friend. His nose blooms red and spherical, his hair frizzes bright orange whilst his feet rupture his leather shoes. He had become...a Were-Clown. 

#drabble #drabbles #Drabblecast #Norm Sherman #short stories #short story #Georgia Warley-Cummings #vampire #vampires #clown #clowns #were-clown #Cerridwen #Hellcat

[then-it-rained-drabbles]

For My Next Trick

Everything was supposed to be fun, pretty and perfect for Sarah’s 8th Birthday party. There was a princess cake, a bouncy castle, a DJ, pony rides, cool presents for the guests, as well for the birthday girl. Heck, her rich parents loved her so much; they even got her a magician. They should’ve stuck with a clown.

“Man, you suck! I bet you couldn’t even make me disappear!” shouted Sarah. The children jeered at the poor sweaty magician in agreement.

Later that night, the magician pats the earth with a shovel, “I’ll make you disappear, my dear, but only forever”.

#magicians #drabble #drabblecast #Norm Sherman #Georgia Warley-Cummings #short stories #short story #creative writing #children #children's parties #magician #Hellcat #Cerridwen

[then-it-rained-drabbles]

Under The Bed

While some children hug teddies, Tommy prefers a spiked baseball bat. As he reaches for it under his bed, a five fingered fleshy pink hand reaches out towards him. It paws the carpet in search of something. Tommy screams and The Hand quickly retreats back to the bed’s shadows. He curls into a ball repeatedly muttering, “Humans do not exist, humans, do, NOT exist.”

On the other side of the multi-dimensional bed, the monstrous ‘Human’ only heard a gargled growling squeak. Whatever her imagination had told her it was; it was not having the spiked baseball bat back anytime soon.

#monsters #drabble #drabbles #short stories #Georgia Warley-Cummings #creative writing #Norm Sherman #Drabblecast #children #Hellcat #Cerridwen

[then-it-rained-drabbles]

Jazz Chicken

Flynn was going to kick the cluck for the last time. He had finished with being just a ‘chicken’. Clucking wasn’t enough for him, nor just belting it out each morning.

 He had heard jazz from the farmer’s radio, and it was calling him. Not just from ba-da-boom of the drums, the zazz of the trumpet, the silky underbelly of the bass and twinkling peal of the piano.

That’s why the next morning he let his trumpet rip into the air. He was no chicken, he was... jazz chicken.

Well, he was… till the farmer shot, cooked and ate him.

#jazz chicken #Georgia Warley-Cummings #drabbles #drabble #farm #music #rooster #Eddie Izzard #drabblecast #Norm Sherman #fantasy #surreal #short stories #short story #creative writing #Hellcat #Cerridwen