Enjoy this random poem I wrote in school!
They'll stand between night and day,
And wish for a home where their heart'll stay
And I shall say:
We were born travellers, born to roam;
No town or city my whole heart'll hold.
No land my feet will belong,
As long as they move along,
Past the fires in many a warm hearth:
In this one land that we call Earth.
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Hasan S/O // relationship launch
this has been stuck in my head for days now, so here it issss 🥰
Her stuff just slowly but surely starts appearing in the background of his instagram posts, on his stream.
Hasan initially just acknowledges it with a short 'Oh yeah, that ain't mine' and that's it.
Eventually she, or rather hints of her, start appearing as well. A hand giving him a plate of food from just off camera, him muting himself and clearly talking to someone, Kaya being returned from a walk even though Hasan has been right there this whole time.
Everybody knows exactly what is going on and just plays along while chat is freaking out and trying to collect all the clues they can find.
A while later he starts mentioning ✨his girl✨ in conversation. Other people also start mentioning 'Hasan's partner' and from the way they talk about her it is clear that they haven't just known her for a few weeks. Like this thing has been going on for a while.
First time he actually mentions being in a relationship is him announcing he won't be streaming because he's going on a little anniversary trip with his girl.
Probably accidentally mentions his girl's name and tries to ignore it happened but eventually just rolls with it because the cat is out of the bag now anyway.
Totally lets her decide when and how to 'reveal' her face, if she even wants to at all.
The man can't keep himself from being all sappy and clingy with her though. She decides to appear on his stream or on the pod? She's sitting there with his arm around her the entire time, getting kisses on her temple, forehead or cheek at least once every hour.
unhinged alternatives:
Austin totally forgetting that nobody knows about this relationship yet and spilling the beans on stream or on the pod.
Hasan doing another Chadvice and just casually introduces one of the people there as his wife.
Hard launching the relationship by posting their wedding pictures.
IRL stream that is Hasan and QT trying to plan out a nursery. When someone in chat asks why the hell they are doing this, he just says 'Because my wife is pregnant you dumbass'.
Face reveal stream, but instead it is on Will's stream. Bestie!Will is still my fav, sorry don't make the rules.
A Fear& episode titled 'Hasan is no longer single' and them not saying anything about it until like three episodes later.
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Living in limbo
It’s like coming down from a high
Somewhere between where I was and where I thought i would be
Living in this space in between the walls
My future no longer exists
My plans are cancelled
And my hopes dashed
I exist as if on a foggy road
Not knowing how to turn back
Or what lies ahead if I keep going.
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28th April 2024
I wish my longing could feel sweet and innocent. I read of people who love and miss and wait and I picture myself near a softly flowing body of water with an equally soft ache of want in my chest. I read of bittersweet reunions between the long-lost and how a single touch can reunite them both to themselves and to each other.
My longing is hostile and pugnacious; it feels like a blow to the chest, lacerations that litter the skin- it feels as if every vital organ has been moved or tampered with. My body cries out with the pain and discomfort of my heart migrating to my left ankle and my intestinal tract wrapping around my shoulders and neck. My skin doesn't feel right; something is tangibly wrong with my body, both inside and out. The longing has punctured and rearranged my body like a metal stick to prepare me for roasting. I sit and beg for the fire but it never comes. My body stands inert and alone until I can muster the strength to move everything back to where it belongs. The feelings of want, of longing, of yearning physically hurt- they leave me crying out in pain until I'm much too tired to writhe anymore. I sleep for 13 hours after but I always pray as my eyes close that I won't have to wake.
He told me last night that he can't give me what I want and I wailed the way I did 9 months ago when my ex left me without a word. I screamed out in pain at the feeling of merely wanting him and longing for him to turn around and hold me through it. I rocked back and forth hyperventilating and begged God to please, please kill me. Please kill me already, no human heart or body or soul can stand the feelings that such desires bring me. I daydream about missing him in a soft and palatable way. I dream of missing him tenderly while I tend to the rest of my life. I dream of leaving him now and watching over him like an angel for a few more years. My body is broken and I cannot love without wanting to kill myself and I cannot long without forceful submission to excruciating pain and never-ending impatience.
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you watched me burn in hell
i watch you burn on paper
in words i fail to spell
was where i built our shelter
tonight i will abandon it
come and see what i have lit
on fire in my dreams
where no one hears my screams
-multasuntcausaebibendi (poem: "burn")
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