desi-daydream - Tumblr blog

desi-daydream · 1 month

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ok so why don’t we try to edit some vlogs so you can see how much you really have in your life

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desi-daydream · 1 month

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i think i need to:

paint a wall in my room a soft grey colour

put the chandelier up in my room

get a replacement for my tripod

buy a new phone case

buy a new foundation

buy sunscreen

read namaaz daily

make dua always

keep my wardrobe clean

keep my room clean

go to Pakistan

trust Allah

thank Allah

have fun

eat well

go to umrah

vacuum

do laundry

find my husband

plan my wedding

fall in love

attend my wedding events

plan a honeymoon

go to my honeymoon

#desi girl #mental health #mental illness #poems and poetry #nostalgia #poemsbyme #aesthetic #mentally exhausted #poem #inspiration #inspo #life in your 20s #quarter life crisis #mid 20s #depressing quotes #inspiring quotes

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desi-daydream · 1 month

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there’s a past teen version of you and she’s so happy that the safe parts of you are still with you even at 27.

desi-daydream on tumblr

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desi-daydream · 1 month

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how about we ✨

learn to knit. paint a wall in our room a soft grey blue colour. open the blinds and let the sunshine in. open the windows and let spring in. film a haul of all the things you’ve bought since last fall. put a chandelier up in our room. find a lipstick that suits you. take a shower. change into different pajamas. read namaaz. set the table for iftaar. empty out any extra clutter from our closet. mop and vacuum our bathroom floor. place an order for workout clothes we can use this summer. respond to some emails if needed. change our sheets from the winter themed ones to plain soft grey ones. brush our hair. make dua for everything.

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desi-daydream · 1 month

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sometimes I like this world, just sometimes ✨

(desi-daydream on tumblr)

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desi-daydream · 1 month

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a letter to my old self

due to our irreconcilable differences, I think it’s best if we don’t interact with eachother anymore. Don’t take this the wrong way. You really stuck by me these last few years, but interacting with you on an daily basis is no longer serving me. When we met in my early 20s, I was like okay, this is good. I’m changing into the type of girl I want to be like. But I’ve realized, I don’t want to be that kind of girl anymore.

So jumping back to our irreconcilable differences; I can’t hang out with you anymore. You made me think that if a random boy doesn’t swipe back on me on a dating app, then that must mean I’m ugly. So ugly. You made me think that because no guy has ever expressed direct interest in me yet, that means that no guy ever will and that there is something wrong with me. You made me think that because no guy has said the words “you are pretty”, then that must mean that you simply aren’t pretty.

All you’ve done is put me down. Have you helped me at all? In a twisted way, you increased my ego, while instilling such a stubborn inferiority complex in me at the same time. How does that even work? I think I’m below everyone and no guy could ever like me, but at the same time, i have a ego that harms me more than helps me.

Also, according to you, no guy could ever like me, because no guy has yet? So if someone hasn’t done or had something yet, that automatically means that they will never ever have i or do that thing. Because they haven’t had it yet? So that instantly equals they will never have it?

You made me think that something is wrong with my face. Really. Like I’m the anomaly that no guy could ever be attracted to no matter what. That my face is the problem. That there is something with my face that makes it so that no guy could ever ever find me pretty or be attracted to me.

And even as I’m writing this letter to you, my chest is getting heavy. As I wrote the above sentences, I still almost believed you.

And the thing is, it’s getting old now. Really old. This is what I mean by irreconcilable differences. You have been telling me the same things, day after day, month after month, year after year. And I wholeheartedly started to believe you. Not to sound mean, but leave. You’re not wanted or needed here anymore. Fr, leave. And please don’t try coming back. Cause you’re not welcome here anymore.

Maybe it’s the abilify that’s been keeping me calm. Who knows. But I do know that I’m done with you.

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desi-daydream · 1 month

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Is wanting this too much to ask for?

Photographika1 by Hasan Aliyar

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desi-daydream · 1 month

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🤞

and i wonder, does your prayer mat know about me the way mine knows about you?

- Ims.

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desi-daydream · 1 month

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a girl in her 20s with a laundry list of mental illnesses 🤝 start a tumblr blog and use it to express your thoughts and emotions 📝

#mental illness #nostalgia #poems and poetry #poemsbyme #mental health #aesthetic #mentally exhausted #desi girl #poem #iwannabeawriter

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desi-daydream · 1 month

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chai and halwa, saag and paratha, magnesium and vitamin d, abilify and water, crying and avril lavigne, lined paper notebook and pens, being single and marriage duas. 🌎☀️🤞🪞🌾🐌🐤🪡💆🏽‍♀️💾

#nostalgia #desi girl #mental illness #desi academia #poems and poetry #poemsbyme #mentally exhausted #poem #aesthetic #mental health #just desi things #desi aesthetic #desi poetry #desi vibes #desi #muslim girl

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desi-daydream · 1 month

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🌎♾🤞

so I rewarm my chai for the second time. I add some more milk and honey to to it. I am sitting at my usual seat at the kitchen table. my leg restlessly shaking. is it the anxiety? it’s always the anxiety bro. for the past 8 years it’s been the anxiety. so yeah pretty good bet to say it is the anxiety right now. it’ll be the anxiety tomorrow when I wake up at noon to go the the doctors. it’ll be the anxiety when I am at home. it’ll always be the anxiety.

#nostalgia #desi girl #mental illness #mental health #poems and poetry #poemsbyme #mentally exhausted #poem #body dysmorphia #bpd vent #actually bpd #bpd feels #bpd thoughts #bpd problems #bpd #bdd #bpd blog #bpd brain #bpd baddie

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desi-daydream · 1 month

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lashes. eyeliner. elf halo glow foundation. tarte concealer. contour. primer. moisturizer. skincare. bio oil. threading. tea tree oil. olay firming night cream. eyebrow brush. matte lipstick. shiny lipgloss. curled eye lashes. dressed up. casual. street wear. hoodie and sweats. straightened hair. caramel balayage. natural hair colour. it doesn’t matter. bc at the end of it all, a girl like you can’t be looked at as pretty, or even attractive. you can’t even get a lame hello, a match back on a stupid app, an empty conversation, a look in your direction. so forget a relationship, marriage, or a husband for that matter.

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desi-daydream · 1 month

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is it my face?

is it my face? is my brain? is it my mind? bc why is it that I am 27 years old and not once has a guy on this earth 🌎 ever found me pretty. Not once. Not one guy. Ever. That is scary and sad. So of course, I can’t help but think, am I that ugly?

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desi-daydream · 1 month

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so I wish, and wait, and wonder, and worry about where you, and when you’ll get here. I hope your type is aged crone bc that is what I am now.

-signed your 27 year old crone wife

Xoxo

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desi-daydream · 1 month

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Wow thank you sm. Nicest thing anyone has said about my writing. 🤞❤️

27 and (still) single

so I finish reading namaaz with my mom. and I go and change into comfier pjs. I put some bio oil on my face. I grab my notebook from the bottom drawer of my side dresser and my markers. I come downstairs. I put the kettle on to boil some water for my tea. I am wearing my comfiest red sweater. My hair pulled back into a loose messy low bun as always. I sit on the couch in the family room. I start writing a new page in my notebook. I start each page with the date and time. So today, March 17, 2024; 10:42pm. My water has finished boiling. I go to the kitchen and grab a tea cup, the one with the little yellow flowers on it. I get a tea bag from the tea drawer I organized weeks ago, but it’s already messy again. I put the tea bag in the cup and pour my water. I set the tea to steep. I go back to my seat in the family room. And continue writing as my tea begins to steep. I write Dear Allah, . And I start writing down my thoughts. I ask, I plan, I wonder, I write, I think, I worry, and I get a lump in my throat. So today, I am 27 and (still) single. I might be single for a very very long time or a very very short time after this passage of writing. Only Allah knows. And I have to be okay with that.

🤞on the very very short time

Ps. If you see this, please make dua for me. For the girl in the red sweater, drinking tea sitting in her family room writing letters to Allah.

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desi-daydream · 1 month

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I stared directly at the sun🪞☀️

the thing is, I went out. And I started directly at the sun. Directly at the blazing hot bright yellow sun. Paneled against an endless blue sky. And I walked. And I did leg lunges and leg lifts around the pond. And I didn’t care who saw me. And I stretched. And I took vitamin c. And vitamin d. I took magnesium before bed. I went to my therapy appointments. I found a DBT group and joined it. I went to it. I juiced celery and beets and carrots and drank it. I put mineral salt in my water. I rearranged the furniture in my room. I took a flight, I went to coffee shops and book shops. I organized my wardrobe. And I started directly in the mirror and saw that nothing, absolutely nothing changed. Bc I feel like my soul is a cement rock that is so stubborn and set in it’s spot, that nothing can get it to budge.

#mental health #mental illness #nostalgia #desi girl #aesthetic #poems and poetry #poem #poemsbyme #mentally exhausted

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desi-daydream · 1 month

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hey I’ve got a new recipe for you;

it’s called low impact healing era with a dash of grandma aesthetic and it makes a manageable life 🫥🧟‍♀️🧶🪡🧵🐤🐌🪺🌾🍎🧺🌸💐

ingredients (included but not limited to):

a floral nightie

olay night firming cream

seasonal patterned bedsheets

a grey crystal velvet comforter

organization boxes from amazon for your wardrobe

abandoning your phone by leaving it in your moms dresser drawer

pens and makers

a lined notebook

woolen socks

knitting needles from dollarama + some old yarn you found in the basement

bio oil

no more coffee

a hardcover notebook to glue your crafts in + dried flowers you’re planning on collecting this summer

tea tea and more tea

get your old cameras out and charge them, you might be more likely to use them again that way

Vitamin D, C

magnesium before bed

coffee scrub body wash

a few different shampoos to choose from in your shower (aveeno green blends that smells like roses and chamomile, aveeno clarify and shine apple cider vinegar, whole blends gentle shampoo that smells like oat and rice milk)

low impact basement workout with your parents in the evening

stretching

tea cups with little yellow flowers on them

now mix together at your own pace + add or eliminate ingredients as needed, and enjoy!!!!!!!

March 18

12:34am

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