elaemae

[elaemae]

Bring out a knife and fork then run towards them while channelling your strong nifty-kinnie energy and cackling maniacally.

Hey chuuya, what do you think I should do if I have a tall friend who wants to know “how to fight a short person/how to kill a short person?” (and then there’s me who is a short person…)

First insult them, kick their knees or back of their thigh where it hurts to make them buckle and level with you, then you punch them straight on the face.

[elaemae]

Watch me live through pure, unfiltered spite.

REASONS NOT TO END IT ALL:

1) all the unreleased songs from your favourite artist

2) all the dogs and cats waiting to be loved by you

3) GOTTA OUTLIVE THE HATERS

4) THE HATERS GONNA BE HAPPY IF YOU DIE

5) potatoes. boil them, mash them, fry them up till golden and crispy

6) we got 2 more fnaf movies to go

7) dr. pepper

8) you have so many hugs left to give and get

9) you might eat your favourite meal tomorrow

10) keep telling yourself “not today.” one day you won’t have to.

please, REBLOG + ADD MORE REASONS!

[elaemae]

If your enemy is bigger than you and you can't physically bring them down, go for the mental approach. Insult em so badly that they'd never recover and they buckle physically.

Or just kick em in the shins, works well enough for me...

Hey chuuya, what do you think I should do if I have a tall friend who wants to know “how to fight a short person/how to kill a short person?” (and then there’s me who is a short person…)

First insult them, kick their knees or back of their thigh where it hurts to make them buckle and level with you, then you punch them straight on the face.

[elaemae]

Guys stawp, they're just social distancing, okay?

FUNNIEST FRAME IN THE WHOLE BSD

#Gaygaygay #ryūnosuke akutagawa #atsushi nakajima #sskk #shin soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs

[elaemae]

Well... The lines between love and hate can sometimes be blurry as hell, also, guilty of loving those two so much I wanna make them suffer via fanfiction😂

why is the automatic response to liking things "GOD I HATE THEM AUGHHA EWWW"

[elaemae]

Ah yes, the totally trustworthy Al is giving pomegranate to his newly kidnapped wifey guest

Hades Al x Persephone Luci (Pt 3)

Welcome to 🦌's underworld!

Prev

#The pomegranate clause #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #radioapple

[elaemae]

Haiyah, I wish my mutuals, heck– my followers will bother me... Life be getting too lonely in this burning world. (pls send help, the heat wave is boutta give me a heat stroke)

The urge to bother my mutuals

[elaemae]

THAT FIRST LINE WAS FOUL😭💀

Isn't one of the other rules that the virgin rarely dies? I think you're good Levi

He keeps digging himself into a deeper hole😭

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me! #shall we date? obey me! #swd obey me #swd obey me! #shall we date obey me #obey me levi #obey me leviathan #om levi #om leviathan #obey me! levi #obey me! leviathan #om! levi #om! leviathan #shall we date levi #shall we date leviathan #swd levi #swd leviathan #levi x mc #leviathan x mc #obey me mc #obey me main character #obey me! shall we date?

[elaemae]

Canon, I was the basement that MC was locked into

(OM!) MC

- Voted most likely to get kidnapped by a serial killer and then have said serial killer develop stockholm syndrome

#Hooman domination #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me! #shall we date? obey me! #obey me mc

[elaemae]

Whoever voted kill can taste my imaginary glock

#Torn between babying him and calling him daddy #obey me! shall we date? diavolo #obey me! diavolo #obey me vote

[elaemae]

Wow! I didn't expect to need therapy today!

I'm (kinda) sorry for this one but I think it's funny.

#This is traumatizing💀 #twisted wonderland #twst #twst memes #vil schoenheit #rook hunt #epel felmier #pomefiore #riddle rosehearts

[elaemae]

Lmaooo bbg, you better save him from that evil chair, Luci🩷😂

Mc: *sneaks into house at 2am*

Lucifer: *turns into swivel chair* care to tell me where you were?

Mc: I was with… Uh… Mammon!

Mammon: *also turns into swivel chair* Care to- *keeps spinning* Lucifer I can’t stop the chair.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #mammon #quotes #mc x lucifer #mc x obey me #mc x mammon #incorrect quotes #incorrect obey me quotes

[elaemae]

Ayo– *Ehem*.....Smash–

#malleus draconia #twst #twisted wonderland

[elaemae]

As a smol fanfic author, pouring my whole heartussy into making a chapter only for people to just 'like' without any comments or reblogs in sight makes me sad.

It's like wholeheartedly talking to a brick wall.

I love it when people 'like' my chapters but little comments and funny tags on reblogs make me even happier because I feel seen. I feel like I did something. I feel like I didn't waste my time making that chapter.

Thanks, my beloved commenters and reblogers.

#author #writers on tumblr #fanfic #fanfiction

[elaemae]

Yey! A new chapter :D

This Couple is Unusual

Prev./Next (WIP)

Chapter 5 This couple, coffin talk

cw: flashback lesson 16 OM

The first time you died was during your first school year in the Devildom. 

You have felt bad for him, being stuck in this stuffy attic all by himself. He had reached out to you early on, a whisper in the night, urging you up the stairs. That Lucifer tried to stop you only fueled your curiosity.

The big bad brother who locked the youngest up after an argument. Of course, you made pacts with the other five brothers to break the magical lock to the attic. 

He was so grateful, pulling you into a warm embrace.

He hugged you tightly.

“You humans really are foolish, idiotic, weak creatures, aren’t you?”

Tighter. 

You couldn’t move.

“Hehe. Does it hurt? Finding it hard to breathe? I’m sure it must be very unpleasant.”

Tighter. 

“You’re so stupid that I can’t help but laugh. Don’t blame me for tricking you, blame yourself for falling for it.”

Tighter. 

“I hate humans. I hate them more than anything in the three worlds-”

Your ribcage cracked, puncturing your insides.

“And I hate you!”

Why this particular scene flashed before your eyes, you didn’t know for you had already forgiven him. The time you sacrificed yourself for Lucifer or several other instances you had put yourself in immediate danger would have left a better taste in your mouth. 

Now, a scythe's polished, pointy tip was millimeters away from your face. It would have pierced through your left orbit if you didn’t bend backward the time and way you did thanks to Luke’s blessing no doubt. The sharp edge of the death dealer ominously glistened in the candlelight. 

“Didn’t you know that curiosity killed the cat, my dear?” a voice croaked to your right, amusement resonating within. From your peripheral vision, you could see his dark boots that had no business having this many belts (nor him having legs this long).

“But satisfaction brought it back,” you breathed out, voice shaky. A bead of sweat of fear trickled down your temple as the rapid beating of your heart continued.

Undertaker chuckled and pulled the scythe away from you, lovingly grazing the smooth side of the cutting blade. You stared at the tool that was not designed to cut grass or harvest grains. It had the shape of an elongated bone structure; the edge of the blade ended in a skull that was decorated with thorns around the forehead and the shaft went directly into the skeletal thorax with all its components. 

He held out his free hand for you to take, pulling you upward. His skin felt weird to the touch, neither warm nor cold. Just like Thirteen’s. Undertaker gently turned your hand, thumb striking over the seal on the back before letting go, making you wonder if he recognized the sigil that proved your affiliation with the Sorcerer’s Society or the ring of light around on your finger. He eventually took a step backward, giving you a moment to ogle him.

Actually, without being fully veiled by his black overcoat, revealing a matching dark robe, and without his crooked top hat Undertaker even kind of looked … attractive there and then. His choice of clothing and jewelry was interesting for his time, if not ahead of it.

Moreover, with the murder weapon at hand, he didn’t look like a demented oddball anymore but the personified harbinger of death. A grim reaper, a Shinigami.

Oh.

Oh.

Now you knew he recognized you as a sorcerer and some other things about him started to make sense.

Undertaker stored his scythe away, locking the closet with a satisfying click. His lips were curled upwards when he turned back around. Since his bangs covered the upper half of his face, you couldn’t read his true emotions. 

/I wonder if he has phosphorescent eyes, too./

“Heh, be more careful when snooping around, unless you’re dying to experience my coffins firsthand,” Undertaker said, snickering at his own little pun at the end.

“Err, it’s definitely not on my bucket list for 1888. Dying ain’t fun,” you quickly denied, mumbling the last part. You awkwardly rubbed your sweaty neck when you felt him staring from behind his long bangs. 

Wait, he couldn’t know what a bucket list is, couldn’t he? 

“A bucket list is a to-do list before ‘kicking the bucket’,” you quickly explained. 

The mortician hummed “Interesting choice of words. Although, even if it’s the basis of my work, I understand death is undesirable - but - maybe such topics should be discussed over a cuppa and biscuits, don’t you think? You’re still shaken.”

This is how you ended up sitting on one of his coffins across from him, a measuring beaker with black tea in hand. 

Undertaker, who sat cross-legged on another death box, held out a black urn toward you, silently instructing you to take whatever was inside. Having lived in the Devildom for so long nothing food-related should and could surprise you anymore. 

Still, you must have looked baffled when you fished a biscuit in the form of a dog bone from the alienated cookie jar because the silver-haired man let out a little cackle. “Go ahead, they’re delicious, I promise~”

He was right, they were! The sweet taste was welcomed after your near-death experience. 

“Gosh, you need to give me the recipe for these. I’ve got some baking-loving friends back home.”

“Hmm, I might, if you pay me with a good laugh, of course,” he answered cheekily, bouncing his crossed-over leg.

“Wait, for real? … Let me think about one…”

Undertaker waited patiently, munching on his treat. 

“Okay, you see, my favorite childhood memory is building sandcastles with my dear grandfather – well, that was until my mother took his ashes away.”

…

Turned out that simultaneously eating and laughing was not a good idea. 

The silver-haired choked on the cookie as the laugh got stuck in his throat, bending over, battering his chest with suppressed giggles (why) while you shot up in a panic, refilling his cup. “Oh my god, are you alright?”

He made a gesture of refusal with his hand, knocking the beverage back.

“That was a killer, young Miss,” he said once you two calmed down, acting like nothing happened.

“I have yet to ask what I owe the pleasure. I assume you're still busy with the murder case, hm?”

You lowered the recipe Undertaker gave you beforehand, regarding him with a mirthful grin. “Nope. I was gift hunting for the family and ended up in front of your store by chance. Maybe it was fate? For the article, well, I don't think the Queen's cute little watchdog would let us publish anything remotely true once he finds out who Jack the Ripper is.”

Undertaker’s lips curled into a grin as well “Oh, you figured it out?”

“Yep. Yesterday's event confirmed our suspicion. Not that you sound surprised at all, tho.” 

“I had a feeling you’ll succeed. I’m sure the young Earl won’t be far behind for he is the good lapdog of Her Majesty.”

You made a face “Never have I imagined a child being responsible for resolving the disruption of the general society. Seriously, putting himself in danger like that.” 

“And that collar will choke him someday,” Undertaker said, his voice dropping an octave. “If not for his self-imposed duty, his butler will certainly be his undoing.”

“Well, if the Earl can’t find a way to circumvent his contract, that is, even for a certain amount of time. Employers tend to find a way to go around their agreements, so it’s technically not impossible.”

The mortician tapped his lips with his index. A grimoire - he hadn’t considered this possibility for they are seldom found. It would require Sebastian Michaelis’ true name and free access to Hell. However, different matters solicited his attention; exempli gratia Karnstein, so he would keep your words in mind. An interesting human you were; just maybe …

A low vibrating sound broke his thoughts. 

“Shit, I hate to cut our talk short but…” you said, eyes fixating on the screen of the D.D.D. you halfway pulled out of your dress pocket “...look at the time. Sata- err, my husband is expecting me soon and I still have to make the way back.”

You pushed the phone back and walked up to him.

“Thank you for the tea and cookies. I don’t know how long we’ll stay in London but I hope we meet again before we leave.” 

You gave Undertaker your brightest smile, surprising the Shinigami but he gently held your outstretched hand. Hands he had taken souls with.

“Likewise, young lady. Be careful on your way back. You never know what lurks around the corner.”

“Noted!”

You took your bag from where you nearly met your untimely end and walked to the door. Grabbing the knob, you turned your head backward. 

Feeling bold, you let a slight gust of wind whip around his face, revealing his odd green eyes that widened slightly at your display of magic. Proud of yourself, you winked and waved goodbye, your smile branding itself into his mind.

Laugher filled his empty store.

“What an interesting sorcerer~”

Hello folks! Writing this chapter was really hard for some reason and I struggled with the decision of putting a scene in or not. As you can see, this chapter is rather short, meaning I cut a scene out. It involved the harassment of MC. (In Victorian London some men were pathetic and walked up to unaccompanied women, even from higher ranks, assuming they were streetwalkers. In this case, the reader would have been approached by Grell with the idea in mind to make the case more personal. I'm not sure I handled this well enough in my draft, so here we are)

#crossover #Rawr #kuroshitsuji #obey me shall we date #obey me #black butler season 1 #black butler #obey me satan #satan x reader #om satan x reader #undertaker #ciel phantomhive #sebastian michaelis #female reader #fantasy #time travel shenanigans #this couple is unusual

[elaemae]

I mostly look for 800+ words per chapter because I'd end up wanting more and get cranky and sad if a chapter is too short w/o a next update in the horizon, because fanfics are my way to cope with my problems.

Like, for example; a fic has 10 chapters currently.

I'd be more than happy to consume that if its total word count is 8k+ because I know it'll keep me satiated for a while.

This doesn't apply to Oneshots obviously.

Fanfic tiktok is wild... I see so many people saying shit like "I could never read anything below 60k!!", or "What story can you even tell in under 5k words?" or "A oneshot below 10k isn't even a story!" or "I always filter completed fics by 100k< only!"

And I'm like...

A) which fandoms are you reading fics for where you have this kind of offerings on the regular?

B) have you heard of short stories? If you truly think every story NEEDS to be longform to connect with people, I sincerely feel sorry for you.

C) Average novel length is between 50k to 100k. I'm sorry, but CONSISTENTLY demanding fic writers to push out fics of that length is insane. Just think about it: YOU DEMAND AUTHORS TO PUT OUT FICS THAT COMPARE TO COMMERCIAL NOVELS IN LENGTH (AND QUALITY) AS A BASELINE.

Yall are wilding.

[elaemae]

Yes.

#Boutta pull a Dazai #twst #twst idia #twisted wonderland #idia shroud