larrysaturn - Tumblr blog

larrysaturn · 10 months

Text

“You’ve made your choice. I won’t hold it against you, truly. Time will tell. It will tell you whether was it the right choice or how deep your regret resides. I know I did my best. I was honest, completely raw and loyal. You decided it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t what you wanted. Did you know that sometimes the backlash of a decision takes years to be noticed? To sink in. You just get yourself wondering around. It usually comes accompanied by that redundant wave of realisation that truly genuine, loving people are few and too rare. I won’t wait on that, though. I’ve learned my lesson. Some people say some of the best lessons come from the deepest pain and I think they just might be right. I think if I’m still writing about this is because it still affects me on some level and I don’t want that anymore. As opposed to before, I don’t want you to have any type of hold on me anymore. I don’t want any of you. I’ll take the lessons and the wisdom the situation has given me, but no more of you. I suppose deciding something as serious as this gives me back my control – I mean, idiotic people are gonna come and go but it’s in my power to decide how I’m going to deal with the pile of shit they throw at me. I initially thought, well, I’m in some deep shit, I might as well try and turn something beautiful out of it, something I’ve always loved, but I feel like I might just let go. The fact that I’ve decided to be the better man about it all does not diminish the impact of your actions. Of what you’ve done. You told me once that the only thing you’ve had in your life was your word and your promises. How easily you forgot that. You’ve had no consideration for what we were – whatever it was. We were friends in the first place. I thought so, at least, but then again a friend wouldn’t do that to you. And even though you sold me out, even though I had lost pretty much everything I used to have, even though I was hurting and alone and fucking lost, I chose not to do the same to you. Does it make me better than you? I don’t know, but if you take my silence as acquiescence, then it surely makes me smarter than you. I could talk about it, but it doesn’t really matter anymore now, does it? I thought the type of connection that we had ran deep. Boy, was I wrong. But it’s okay now. It’s okay that nowadays you won’t even look me in the eyes, because you already did it too much for far too long to be acceptable. It’s okay that you won’t acknowledge my presence anymore, because my arrival used to enlighten your whole mood. It was noticeable, you know. You don’t need to salute me either, because my body still remembers your touch – how you used to sit there and play with my fingers absentmindedly, how you caressed each of my tattoos and played with my hair, how much you leaned in unnecessarily (it was, you know it). I could tell them all about your words, but what’s the use? I know better now. I can be the “snake”, I can be the girl who fell for you (alone, she would hastily add), and I can be the one who “tried” to ruin your so-beautifully-called relationship. My heart knows the truth and the people I love know my heart. Your heart knows it as well and someday you will regret what you’ve done. I am all healed now. I am done.

I wish you the best things and I hope never to hear about it.”

3 notes · View notes

larrysaturn · 1 year

Text

Tumblr, I propose a battle of wits!

I have put Iocaine powder in one of these two goblets. You choose, then we both drink.

54K notes · View notes

larrysaturn · 1 year

Text

a lack of communication can really fuck up a lot of good shit

179K notes · View notes

larrysaturn · 1 year

Text

10K notes · View notes

larrysaturn · 2 years

Text

“I don’t think people understand how stressful it is to explain what’s going on in your head when you don’t even understand it yourself.”

— Sara Quin

4K notes · View notes

larrysaturn · 2 years

Text

“growth isn’t always constant. relapses happen. it doesn’t erase all your success.”

— Unknown

36K notes · View notes

larrysaturn · 2 years

Text

“If you’re lonely, bored or unhappy, remember you are young. There is so much time to meet new people and go to new places.”

— Ezra Koenig

17K notes · View notes

larrysaturn · 2 years

Text

April will be filled with joy.

April will be filled with love.

April will be filled with peace.

April will be filled with trust.

April will be filled with kindness.

April will be filled with miracles.

April will be filled with hope.

31K notes · View notes

larrysaturn · 2 years

Photo

It’s a love thing

#Illustration #bears #love #heart #animals #family #digital art

11K notes · View notes

larrysaturn · 2 years

Text

so grapeful ☔

2K notes · View notes

larrysaturn · 2 years

Text

228K notes · View notes

larrysaturn · 2 years

Text

The Folk of the Air series really didn't have to go as hard as it did with the poetic lines

“I have lied and I have betrayed and I have triumphed, if only there was someone to congratulate me.”

“Most of all, I hate you because I think of you. Often. It’s disgusting, and I can’t stop.”

“If I cannot be better then them, I will become so much worse.”

“Have I told you how hideous you look tonight?” “No, tell me.” “I cannot.”

“Kill him before he makes you love him.”

“Kiss me again, kiss me until I'm sick it.”

“He is even more horrifically beautiful than I was able to recall. They’re all beautiful, unless they’re hideous.”

“My sweet villain, my darling god.”

“I want to tell you so many lies.”

“Whatever I imagined then, now it is I who would beg and grovel for a kind word from your lips.”

“By you, I am forever undone.”

“My sweet nemesis.”

“It’s you I love, I spent much of my life guarding my heart. I guarded it so well that I could behave as though I didn’t have one at all. Even now, it is a shabby, worm-eaten, and scabrous thing. But it is yours.”

3K notes · View notes

larrysaturn · 2 years

Photo

I was very mad at the entire world back them (meh, teenagers), so mostly Starset, Skillet and some like, really sad songs. Oh, and One Direction.

mine would probs be: one direction, taylor swift, ed sheeran, the script and coldplay

50K notes · View notes

larrysaturn · 2 years

Photo

The Last Olympian pg.372-374

Wanted to finish this last year but some things happened. Enjoy!

30K notes · View notes

larrysaturn · 2 years

Text

I have never been one to do to do’s list or to have resolutions for the upcoming year (or to expect anything at all, really), but I’m trying to change that. I’m trying to make plans and allow myself to want things and trace a path to actually have them rather than forget them at all.

And I’m feeling kinda adventurous today, so here we go.

1. First of, I want to have sex. A lot of it. And not judge myself for wanting or having it, which takes us to number two:

2. I wanna act my age, for a change, and allow myself the sillinesses and inconsequences of it (I’m too fucking YOUNG to act like this, for god’s sake)

3. I want to stop drinking (very important, this one).

an advice: if you can’t do it right, don’t do it at all (or learn to do it better, but that’s not the case here)

MOVING ON

4. I want to be myself more - adapt it, me, I mean… (I don’t think the world is ready to take a pearl like me without some adaptation first) but yeah, I wanna be clever out loud without people thinking I’m being arrogant, I wanna talk back and throw witty comebacks and be able to just stop pretending I’m something I’m really not. Also, I want to drown this bitch in me who so desperately wants to please everyone. I want to please me, myself and I and those whom I love and my cats - and that’s all.

5. I want to study more. I love doing so but most of the time I’m feeling discouraged, so yeah, I want to change that too

6. I want to keep a routine of physical exercises to make my body feel better and to release the stress bc running does wonders to my anger

7. I want to buy a vibrator (always felt ashamed of it, but honestly I’m so curious, it looks so good)

8. I want to have a boyfriend, but only if I find someone nice to fullfit the role (and I cannot, I repeat, I CANNOT date Edward, Dorian or Rowan)

well FUCK

okay, moving on

9. I want to stop associating people and certain songs because later on I can’t listen to them anymore bc it reminds me of them and it’s fucking sad bc they were such good songs (I never knew how much I wanted this until I wrote it down)

FUCK YOU TAMER (beautiful crime was so nice)

10. I want to read more and be able to reconcile college (which is so exhausting on its own), with other readings I enjoy (hello there crescent city 2)

11. I want to experience new things and put myself out there more - aka I WANT TO GET OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE but it’s so, so hard

okay, okay

eleven is a good number (I see you, stranger things), eleven is a fine start and is so much more than I thought I’d like to do, but wanting things is good, it means change-ish.

i have never exposed myself like this (technically I’m not exposing myself myself, I’m exposing my tumblr account, which is a lot either way), and I don’t know what y’all will think of this but I can only hope you will, some-fucking-how, relate to my desperate wishes for change

and tell me yours?

#I finally lost it #new year resolutions or whatever #trying something a little different #trying so hard to get out of my comfort zone #comfort zone #to do list #to do or not to do #cheers

1 note · View note

larrysaturn · 2 years

Photo

Would you prefer lightly toasted or burnt?

1K notes · View notes

larrysaturn · 2 years

Video

massage bed

80K notes · View notes