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larrydaleydaily · 2 years

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Not with You pt.1

Pairing: Michael Morbius x Reader

Summary: Something about being near Michael just makes you feel different, makes you feel... renewed? Working at Horizon Labs can be difficult, but it gets easier when certain coworkers help you feel more yourself.

Wordcount: hovering around 3.6k

a/n: I have literally never written anything in my life, but I was suffering from the severe lack of Morbius x reader content, so I busted out this entirely self-serving ficlet in about three hours. Shoutout to my beta reader/English teacher: @cynicalsquib , who really doesn't get the obsession but continues to enable me.

“Well, Anna, I don’t know what you want me to tell you; it looks like a penguin to me,” you sighed, gently placing the origami… thing back into the girl’s delicately cupped hands.

Anna had been demanding your attention for the past hour as she did her best to replicate the crisply-folded paper zoo that she had been collecting. And she was getting frustrated. She loved showing the stationary menagerie off to anyone who was around, which, unfortunately, didn’t include many people, given the environment…

The famous Horizon Labs, home to some of the world’s most brilliant scientists from all fields of study (you had heard that, somewhere in the tower, there was a man with eight robotic arms). Horizon was the best place for someone like little Anna, the best place for someone with debilitating diseases or physical disorders, to be. Here, she received round-the-clock care from overqualified, highly trained experts in bio-medical treatments. Which she needed, desperately. Anna was only seven years old when the illness had first manifested itself. It had started with lethargy and an unwillingness to play outside with her brother, which no one spared a second thought to. Until the fevers came. Sometimes reaching 105°F, her family knew that something was very wrong. After a long bout of specialists poking and prodding Anna, there finally came a diagnosis: Hepatitis C. Not a death sentence, but not the makings of an easy life. Because of her age, no physician wanted to put her through the toil of dozens of pills per day, but there was truly no other way to manage her disorder. Until Max Modell caught wind of her case. CEO of Horizon Labs, and an honest-to-God hero of the scientific community. Modell brought Anna to the central Horizon location, deep in the heart of Manhattan, and made sure to outfit Lab Floor Six with the best equipment his money could buy, funding the research of many an experimental doctor. Which is where you came in. Kinda.

You were a zoographist and botanical researcher, meaning you really knew your fauna and flora, which was incredibly useful to more than a few scientists in the building. Tiberius Stone, the electro-magnetic tinkerer from Lab Floor Seven, had asked for your help in orchestrating an experiment called “Alpha” (what a vague and not-at-all helpful name, you had thought). Doctor Aribella Fishbach, Nobel Peace prize winning ecologist, damn near talked your ear off about helping her create a biodegradable, near-zero waste tire prototype until you gave in. You had even lended a hand to Peter Parker with his unstable “Cryo Cube 900”, adding a naturally occurring antithermalite to the casing of the creation, though you’re pretty sure he’s still tinkering with that one. Needless to say, you were useful on almost every floor of Horizon, which suited you nicely, as it gave you a lot of options for what you wanted to do on any given day, as long as your own deadlines were met.

What were you working on? That was hard to answer. You were convinced that certain species in the arctic circle had… odd… evolutionary nuances from their counterparts in other climates. There was evidence of a polar bear with wings. It was- it was unheard of and, as far as you had found, unimagined by the likes of most civilizations, ancient or otherwise. Regardless, you had been pulled from your own endeavors by every other goddamn researcher in the building for so long that you had mostly abandoned your own office, choosing instead to work with others, milling about their desks and workstations to assist with whatever they needed, picking up some skills and interests along the way- it could get lonely- working hunched over a pile of zoological diagrams that didn’t add up. Knowing that your work wasn’t saving any lives. Unlike the work of a certain hematologist that made your heart leap into your throat. Your friend, the doctor that actually made you want to quit your job so that you could just follow him around all day every day, hanging on to every word he uttered.

Doctor Michael Morbius, the self-proclaimed “Doctor Death” (a joking title that may or may not have caused Max Modell to double over laughing during a press conference preceding Michael’s Nobel nomination). He was…how to put this gently? The most enthralling person you knew? Forgetting the fact that he was painfully beautiful, as you often had to force yourself to ignore, he was just charming. His alarmingly quick wit that always caught you off guard and caused involuntary blabbering from you, his devastatingly unmatchable intelligence, and- you know what? No, you can’t ignore how pretty he is, because that’s a huge thing too- His eyes are just fucking piercing, like he could stare through your very soul with ice-cold intensity, daring your resistance to slip for even a fraction of a second so that he could analyze whatever unhinged thought leaked from your mind. The pale pallor of his skin, while clearly not healthy, created an almost marble-like, statuesque appearance, as though his jarringly high cheekbones and annoyingly smooth, clear skin were carved from stone. And his hair! Why did he have to take care of it so well? The first time you saw him take his hair down from its usual low bun, you quite literally stumbled over your own feet, earning you the title “Bambi” from his friend and colleague Doctor Martine Bancroft, who told you after the fact that you had looked like a baby deer caught in headlights. Speaking of which…

“Well, well, well, who do we have here?” Stealing you from your reverie, Martine looked exceptionally smug as she leaned against the doorframe to Anna’s room, taking in the sight of Anna ferociously folding a piece of paper that you may or may not have nabbed from nurse Sutton’s desk, and you, frozen in place, eyes wide and a poorly-shaped paper pyramid in your hands. She smirked at the terrible attempt to replicate Michael’s delicate craftsmanship in your cupped palms, then slid her eyes over to Anna. Beginning to read vital monitors and charts that you really didn’t understand, Martine plucked the sad excuse for a project out of your hands and absentmindedly fiddled with it.

“She’s helping me make more of my army,” Anna replied with zero sarcasm in her voice, not taking her eyes off of her current task of fixing the “penguin” she deemed not perfect enough.

Such a strong girl, you thought with a little smile.

“Is she now? Bambi, why are you helping my patient conquer Dr. Morbius’ paper squad? Well- helping in the loosest sense, because what even is this?” She held up the lump. You took a second to stare sheepishly at the little creation she clutched before clearing your throat to answer.

“See, Anna beat me at chess-”

“Again?”

“Shut up and let me finish.” Both Anna and Martine laughed at that one. “As I was saying, Anna beat me, and I told her that she could have whatever she wanted as a prize for her victory-”

Anna finally looked up from her work to stare straight into Martine’s eyes; “I asked for a motorcycle.”

“-Which I obviously can’t give her, she’s not old enough for her license, so she settled on enlisting my… help,” you looked at your pitiful attempt, “in trying to take down Dr. Morbius and his animals.” You’d think that working in the field of animal anatomy that you could make some stupid animals a little better, but, sadly, that was not the case.

“Okay, then, Anna, answer me this: why do you want to take on Dr. Morbius’ paper crew?” Martine raised an eyebrow, along with a very good point. You actually didn’t know the answer to this.

Anna shrugged as much as she could, eyes returning to her project and grimacing when her IV held her back a little. “Dunno. Just want to show him that I can do cool stuff, too. Surprise him like he always surprises me with them?”

You did your damnedest not to well up at that. Being reminded of how sweet this girl could be is hard.

Letting out a little “Ha!” of delight, she held up what was definitively an emperor penguin. You and Martine shared a smile and looked on in pride. Until you heard the distinctive noise of incoming crutches. Expression blanking momentarily, Anna hurriedly rounded up her small collection of origami animals and tried to shove them under her pillow. When that didn’t work, Martine scooped a couple up into her lab coat, including your pyramid creature, and you snatched a few to hide in Anna’s bedside table, the three of you frantically hiding the evidence of Anna’s new hobby from the approaching doctor.

You were just shutting the drawer of the little stand when Michael rounded the corner to look into the room. He clearly wasn’t expecting anyone but Anna to be in the small space, but he really wasn’t expecting the three of you to be staring straight at him with noticeably forced smiles on your faces in not-at-all fake and totally-natural positions. He looked taken aback for a second before a truly heart-stopping smile curled his lips. He took the little trio in with a look of pure familiarity and humor, nodding to himself.

“So… seems like the doctors are already in, apparently,” he breathed out with a small chuckle. Soft spoken, as always. He moved into the room with little difficulty, looking no worse for wear than he normally did. Easing himself onto the foot of Anna’s bed on the same side you were sat in the adjacent chair, he began scanning the same charts Martine had a few moments before. Seeming satisfied with what he saw there, he wheeled his head around to look at each Martine, Anna, and then you, curiosity and suspicion growing with each successive face. The three of you did your best to maintain expressions void of anything he could use against you, which of course ended up with you and Anna emphatically and pointedly ignoring Dr. Morbius’ eyes in the most obvious manner possible. Catching each others’ eyes, you had to press your lips together in a poor attempt to suppress a laugh. Anna did no such thing.

Anna’s sudden screams of laughter had the three adults in the room falling apart in a nanosecond, each of you trying desperately to stifle some of the very loud gasps for air your laughing fits were leaving you with. It was good to get Anna to laugh- she needed it. As for you, you were also exceedingly glad for the excuse to watch pure delight erupt onto Michael’s face, laughs coming from deep inside his narrow chest and bringing an extraordinary light to his whole body. You leaned onto Anna’s bed for support as you came down from the sudden high, and buried your face into her sheets in order to take a second to catch your breath. Martine had somehow ended up on the floor next to the bed on the opposite side, hand to her mouth to try and cover the smile. The four of you took the silent minute to just breathe and relax. It was nice.

Until a small beeping sound broke the fond quiet in the little room, causing you to lift your head. Martine’s pager, you guessed. A guess that was immediately gratified when she sighed and hauled herself to her feet, turning to Anna with a light frown.

“I’ve got to go. Lily needs something, and you know her- she’ll start throwing things at anyone who passes her room until she gets what she wants,” she said with fake disdain in her voice, a real smile reaching her eyes. “You let me know if you need anything, too, okay?” She put a hand on Anna’s shoulder and gave a gentle grin before shooting you and Michael a look of ‘get out of here and let her rest’. Anna nodded in agreement and waved Martine goodbye, looking to the two remaining doctors in the room. You dropped your head forward and let it hang there, knowing what was waiting for you once you took one step out that door: the commute home through New York on a Friday night. In other words? Hell. Luckily, someone caught your look before Anna could. He nudged you with his right foot, eliciting a small jump from you, which he noted and swallowed a smirk at.

“Okay, Anna. It is officially bedtime for the both of us, meaning it is absolutely bedtime for you,” he said, pitching himself forward onto his crutches to stand and look at Anna with all the fondness in the world.

“Why should I be forced to have a curfew when I’m dying here?” Anna protested, throwing her free hand up into the air.

“I’m sorry, but if all of these guys,” Michael motions a hand towards you and towards the door, following Martine’s departure, “force me, another rapidly dying person, to go to bed at a reasonable hour, I feel zero shame making you do it, too.”

You roll your eyes at Doctor Death’s comment and chose to ignore it as you addressed Anna, too.

“Listen, if you want to ride that motorcycle I owe you, you’ve got to rest and heal,” you soothed, swiftly standing and raising her covers up a little higher than where they had fallen.

Anna’s eyes lit up at the mention of her waiting prize, and her grumbling subsided as Michael turned down the lights in her room. The two of you left, him first and you following. You slid the door to Anna’s room closed about halfway, leaving it open for the night watch nurses to get in. Turning to the good doctor behind you, you found him smiling at the floor. No, not at the floor, at something on the floor. A closer look granted you the image of… a… lopsided… pyramid. Embarrassment seized you as you hurled yourself down on one knee to snatch the little failure away from his knowing eyes, but you knew he had already seen it.

“Damn you and your lab coat pocket holes, Martine,” you groaned, not meeting Michael’s eyes as you stood from your position on the floor. You heard him reveling in polite hilarity and couldn’t even look in his direction, feeling your cheeks burn red-hot at the thought of him knowing you had tried and failed to emulate one of his little hobbies. Moving your arm with the intent to stuff the piece of rubbish into your jacket pocket, you felt a hand seize your forearm and had to adamantly suppress a shiver. You turned your head to watch as you felt the same hand move down to your own, where the paper was clutched in your iron grip. Except, as it turns out, no part of your body could deny Michael what he wants, and your once-stiff fingers betrayed you by uncurling and allowing his own slender fingers access to the little note. The exchange took maybe less than five seconds, but his hand dragging against your arm seemed to slow time to a standstill for you. The sounds of the busy hospital floor around you both hushed, allowing you two a miniscule bubble of Eden amidst the chaos of your fast-paced lives. Before he actually took the damned paper from your hand and held it up to inspect it closer. The sounds of Lab Floor Six resumed, and your bubble burst.

“Contrary to the popular notion, you don’t seem happy that we get to go home now,” Michael mused, still studying your creation held between his middle finger and his thumb. You hesitated a moment, deciding which answer seemed the least pathetic between well if it was actually WE it would be fine and actually, I just hate going through the city alone. You permitted yourself a brief second to imagine what it would be like to actually go home with him, to catch a cab together, make your way to a shared apartment and argue about who would make what for dinner, call it even and just order in so that you could settle on the couch together and just bask in each other. You shook your head to clear the pitiful thoughts of longing from the forefront of your mind (because those images never truly left you), and finally glanced at his light but pensive expression.

“Contrary to the popular notion, I actually happen to like my job and the people I work with,” you replied, as casually as you could manage. Which ended up decidedly not casual as his focus shifted from your pyramid to directly into your eyes, catching you staring at him. You quickly cleared your throat and spoke again, “plus, you know, this city is rough and I kind of hate going home the way I have to.”

“What’s the way that you ‘have to’ go home?” Every question he asks is so hushed, you felt compelled to lean in to be able to fully hear him.

Blinking away what you could only guess to be literal hearts coming out of your eyes, you told him of the complicated series of subways you had to take to go home in order to avoid the street, which made you nervous to travel on alone, despite the years you’ve lived in the city.

He seemed to digest your answer, turned his head away, and smiled to himself, satisfied with the response, and, much to your dismay, pocketed your origami attempt. He hummed as he thought to himself, expression dropping to one of contemplation as he focused himself inwards. It’s not rare to see Michael in this state, but it is unique for you to see it up close, with the excuse to stare at him like this and not feel like you’re gawking. You stayed like that another minute, standing together outside Anna’s room, him pondering hard on something and you just blatantly admiring him for it. He pulled himself out of whatever reverie he had himself in and refocused his gaze on you, having made up his mind. Sharp eyes bored into your curious ones, shattering whatever thought process you had going on.

“I’ll take you home,” he stated simply.

If you could find the correct way to explain how much you inwardly reeled at that, you would. As it is, all you know is that it took everything in you to be able to maintain your composure, breath catching in your lungs and your pulse skyrocketing at the thought of being driven home…by… him…? Wait, how did he even get home? Could he drive? How did you not know this?

He laughed.

“Jurgen helped me create a system to allow me to drive with some assistance. I’d wager you didn’t know that because I don’t like having others in the car with me, in case the mechanism faults,” he murmurs.

“Shit, did I actually say that out loud?” you blurted, eyes going wide. “Because the other explanation is that you can read minds which would make sense sometimes.”

He shook his head, letting a small sound of amusement out at your question.

Of course you had said it aloud, dumbass.

You coughed in an attempt to transition the conversation to something else, anything else.

“So if you don’t like having people along with you then why are you inviting me? Clearly you don’t care for your safety but I’d have never guessed you don’t care for mine,” you teased.

That got his head to snap towards you, expression stricter than has ever been directed at you.

“Of course I care about your safety, but I know you won’t distract me too much, or hover over me and backseat drive. Others would take my focus away from what is actually a rather simple task, but you’re much easier to exist with.”

That knocked the air right out of you, though for better or worse you can’t tell. Should you be upset that you don’t even offer the devastating doctor a modicum of temptation for distraction, or overjoyed that he is willing to break a personal rule of his for you? While you filed away the former in your mind to deal with at a later date, the latter fully possessed your body.

Tipping your head to the side, allowing a small victory smile to grace your face, you asked, “So that's why you prefer a smaller team, to limit distractions? I didn’t know people had that effect on you, made you feel like that.”

He cocked his head to the side, mirroring your own as he gazed out of a nearby window to consider his answer.

“I feel suffocated with large groups of people, like they’re expecting one of two things from me: to keel over right then and there, or to spout some genius idea that’ll save more lives. I don’t like all of that pressure. So, I limit myself to a few relationships in order to not feel the compounding effect of all of their expectations.”

“All of… ‘their’ expectations? So you don’t feel that pressure with some of us?” You were basically holding your breath at this point to hear every second of his response.

He turned his head back to you with a trusting smirk.

“Not with you.”

#michael morbius x reader #michael morbius #morbius 2022 #fuck_jared_leto #michael morbius the living vampire #morbius

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axwalker · 3 years

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CREEP: I’m a creep

HIGH SCHOOL AU

Pairing: Drake Walker and Lexie O’Brien -- Book TRR

A/N 1 This came up to me after I got an ask from @nestledonthaveone

I was listening to my iPod on my way home from work yesterday & Radiohead's Creep came on. One of my favorite songs, and I think the lyrics are great for an angsty Drake fic. It reminds me of him. Could you please write an angsty fic inspired by the song? I love how you write angst!!

I used to hear this song when I was a teenager, so when I read this ask, I immediately wanted to write something angsty but situated in high school.

This is part one of two.

I hope you enjoy it @nestledonthaveone 💕

A/N 2: Because they’re younger than usual, I decided to change my FC --just for this fic. I’m still picturing Michiel and Valerie when they’ll be older though.

A/N3: I’m participating in @wackydrabbles Prompt #105 It's definitely ... interesting.”

Thank you ladies!

WARNINGS: Parental abuse. Eventually some lemons. ALL MY FICS ARE 18+

Tags in the comments.

LEXIE

I’ve always loved sunsets. The entire sky is painted orange and pink, streaking with white light and many other colors; I can’t take my eyes away from it. Sunsets remind us that no matter what is happening in our lives, the sun will be out again tomorrow. It’s raw, beautiful, and comforts me—the thought of the sun watching over me. I sit on my porch, my knees against my chest. I’m wearing a white tank top and jean shorts to fight the intense heat that invades Cordonia in early September. I fix my eyes on the sky, wishing a miracle. Something that takes me away from my father and his new wife. Away from the pain of losing mom.

“What are you doing?” The voice is so resonant, deep, and rasping. Slowly, I sit up and look around, pushing my long, brown hair out of my eyes. I raise my head, and I see him. Drake Walker.

My breath catches, and I cross my arms over my breasts, knowing the thin material of my shirt isn’t keeping me remotely modest. What is he doing here? At this time, no less. I go to school with Drake. We’re both sophomores at Valtoria High School. He’s six foot two, with strong shoulders, and has a knowledge of life in his eyes that boys our age simply don’t possess. We have five classes together, and he sits through them like a statue, his chocolate eyes unreadable. Tall, dark, and angry. Handsome in a hard way that makes the other girls nervous when he walks down the hallways. Not me, though. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve stared at him from behind my locker door, breath trapped in my lungs, wondering what he’s thinking of behind his brooding eyes.

“I asked, what are you doing? This isn’t a safe place to be alone at night. You should get inside.”

“Inside is no safer.” Why would I say that? My first time talking with this boy, and I tell him my deepest secret? His eyes narrow at me.“I mean, there’s not a lot of crime in this part of Portavira.” That loosens the tension in his broad shoulders. “I’m looking at the sunset. I love it. It’s so beautiful and wild.” I bit my bottom lip noticing his eyes dip to catch the action.

“It’s definitely ... interesting,” he says, noncommittally. “There are things I like more.”

“Like what?” I ask.

He shrugs but looks back down at me, wrestling with something. He lifts a hand, brushing the very tip of his fingers down my cheekbone. “You,” he rasps.

Drake’s deep brown eyes look at me with something I’m only on the cusp of understanding. Is it…lust? His fingers move down my jaw, traveling slowly over the hollow of my throat to tease one of my tank top’s straps. “I like you. I can’t seem to stop…wanting. Wanting you to look at me. Wanting you…period. It’s why I sit behind you in all your classes, O’Brien. You don’t know that?” My knees start to tremble. I’ve always wondered how we end up in the same classes every single semester. He’s arranged for it to happen? He…likes me? That much? Say something, dork. Don’t act like it’s not mutual.

As if I haven’t lain my bed after school, when no one is at home and touched myself while thinking of Drake Walker. I must be doing a terrible job of keeping that secret to myself because Drake’s breath begins to grow shallow. “O’Brien.” He drops his forehead to mine, the pads of his thumb rubbing the soft skin of my neck. “Have you ever been kissed?”

I can’t talk, so I shake my head.

“Please,” he groans. “Let me.”

My head is spinning. “Let you what?”

“Kiss you. Finally.” His hands move to cradle my head, making me feel delicate, like something special. His minty breath is close to my ear, setting off an ache low in my belly. “I need to kiss you, O’Brien. I need it.” He leans down and kisses the corner of my lips in the most torturous, exquisite way. My heart is beating wildly in my chest when he puts his soft lips on mine for the first time. My first kiss is an amazing one. He bends his head, and his mouth finds mine with soft pressure. I thought he would be rough or impatient may be clumsy, but I didn’t expect the gentle way his lips caress mine. The way he coaxes my own lips apart before I’m even aware of it. My knees buckle, but he holds me firmly against him. He kisses me as if this wasn’t our first time but our last. It’s the most erotic moment of my life, but all too son Drake leaves my lips. I only feel urgency. Want so deep that it burns inside of me. It has existed between us all along, hasn’t it? Not one-sided. A yearning pull between two people, orbiting each other in the earthly, incongruous setting of school.

Drake opens his mouth to say something, but my name is shouted in the distance. From inside the house. With glittering eyes, Drake drops his hands to his side, though it obviously pains him to do so. He gives me a chaste kiss on my cheek. One second later, the back door of my house opens, revealing my father, his imposing frame backlit by the interior.

“Alexis!” I start to tremble; I try to speak, but I can’t. ““What are you doing out here this late?” There’s a tight smile in his voice. “Did you come out here to retrieve the handyman?” I do a double-take, noticing the strain forming around the corners of Drake’s mouth.

“Handyman?”

“Yes.” My father chuckles, coming forward to clap a hand down on Drake’s tense shoulder. “He’s here to repair a leak in the attic. Liam called you by the way.” Drake can’t look at me now, his gaze cast over my shoulder. Empty. A minute ago, we were equals. But my father’s words have called into focus one very important thing. I’m rich, and he’s very poor. It just didn’t matter. To me, it still doesn’t. But the economic divide between us is deepening by the second.

“Why don’t you get to it?” My father suggests to Drake, his tone hard. “Alexis has to study. She is going places.”

I down my gaze to the ground, humiliation burning up my throat. My father is an expert at belittling people, and he’s just done it to Drake. I want to say something to make it better, to defend Drake, but I know I’ll only be making it worse. I’ll have to wait until tomorrow to offer Drake an apology. At school. I’ll talk to him then.

“Yes, sir,” Drake responds stiffly, turning on his boots and stalking toward the house. Behind his back, my father reaches over and digs his thumb into my bicep until I double over, releasing a silent scream. He lets go a moment before Drake glances back over his shoulder, eyes hooded, and my expression is serene. Because I know better than to let anyone see the pain. My father has never been physically abusive, but his temper is getting worse. He hated mom and he’s taking it out on me. As soon as we’re in the house, I run up the stairs to my room and lock the door, leaning back against it. Listening to Drake’s boots walk back and forth in the attic. More than anything, I want to go up there. Feel his hands on me again. Cherishing hands, instead of hateful ones. I ache for that. For him. But an hour later, Drake leaves, and that’s when I face the consequences. My father knocks on my door. When I open it, the look on his eyes let me know it’s going to be worse than usual.

“If I ever see you talking to that boy again, so help me God, I’ll kick you out of this house.” His face is contorted with rage. “Then, I’ll ruin him, too. I’ll make his life even harder in this town. You know I can do it. I can have him cast off that filthy land and no one will ever hire him again. Is that what you want?”

“No,” I whisper.

“No,” he sneers, mocking me. “Never look at him again. Do you hear me? My daughter does not associate with penniless dirt. The only boy you’re allow to date is Liam Rys. No one else.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

“See that you keep that promise. Or you’ll both pay the price.” And I pay a good deal of it that night when dad slaps me for the first time. The next day at school, I don’t look at Drake in the hallway. I don’t pause in the doorway of our classes, absorbing the sight of him waiting at the desk behind me. I simply keep my head down and try not to show the bruise on my cheek. On my body and my heart. I could never have predicted he would hate me for it.

Drake

Two years later

I walk past O’Brien in the hallway and slam my fist against the locker to her left, making her jump. Shame, frustration, and resentment have been like a poison inside me, rotting my bones every second of the last two years, ever since that night in her garden when she tricked me into thinking she felt the same. Maybe she did. Until her father reminded her that I’m nothing but a poor handyman. Yeah, she remembered pretty quickly that she’s better than me. Good enough to date a rich quarterback like Rys but definitely not a low life like me. Rich, stuck-up brat. What’s worse is that she fucking ruined me with those lips. She brought me to my knees. Made me reveal myself in ways I’ve never done with anyone. And now? Now she’s left me lonely and fuck-starved for two years. Obsessed with her, unable to let her go and hating her guts for it. Because she won’t even look at me anymore. I’m nothing but the dirt beneath her spotless sneakers. Two years ago, I decided that if she was going to make my life hell by ignoring me after what we shared, then I could return the favor. So I do. By tormenting her. That’s the only term for it. I torture her, and I hate that—I fucking hate it—but so be it. My jaw is close to shattering as I watch O’Brien calmly collect the books from her locker and hurry toward our next class. On top of being a bully, I’m also a masochist because I still trick the school into having the same five classes every year. My aunt Leona works in the front office, and she feels bad for me because of my dad dying and my mom abandoning me when I was still in middle school, leaving me in the trailer alone. Not bad enough to invite me to live with her family, but bad enough that she slips me O’Brien’s schedule every semester so I can match it to mine. Before I follow her, I stop at her locker, sliding something in it, and continue on my way. When I walk into class behind her a moment later, I slow to a stop in the doorway at the sight of Rys kneeling to speak with O’Brien where she sits at her desk—cajoling a smile out of her. She refused to date him two years ago, but fucking Liam didn’t get the memo. No one has as much money as his father in this town. If Rys is asking her out again, she’d probably say yes. If I let it get that far, which I won’t. I never do. She’s mine. Only mine.

#drake walker #drake walker x mc #drake x lexie #tw abuse #tw parental trauma

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sagefzy · 3 years

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PART ELEVEN: THE PERFORMANCE

perfectionism | prev | next

After sitting down for about ten minutes, Atsumu redirected his attention to the now dimming lights. The once lit up auditorium was now only being illuminated from the light appearing on the stage. There was almost an entrancing aura in the room, everyone gathered in the same room for the sole purpose of watching people showcase their musical talent. Though completely different activities, he couldn't help but be reminded of the similar feeling when watching a volleyball match.

Although Suna had mentioned to him many times that he and you had two very distinct and different personalities, he couldn't help but disagree. From the little he'd observed, you both had strong passions that you had dedicated your whole lives to. Even though you two may approach situations differently. You both have a mutual understanding of the thrill that comes with pushing yourself to the limit for something.

He had never really chosen to get to know another person on a deeper level. Of course, there was Osamu, but that didn't really count since that was his brother. Additionally, his friendship with Suna was only a byproduct of Osamu's friendship with him. Atsumu constantly had girls throwing themselves at him, and even though he enjoyed basking in their attention, he knew that they were only in love with the idea of him.

Outside of volleyball and his family, he never got the chance to have a close relationship with someone, but that was something he was willing to sacrifice for the sake of achieving his dreams. Not to mention, he always had the lingering fear that, in the end, people only hung out with him to get close to Osamu. He really hoped that you were an exception to that case.

The competition had to at least been going on for an hour now, Atsumu thought to himself. When he imagined attending a piano competition, he envisioned a relaxing show that he could attend for free, but that wasn't the case. Instead, he spent his time watching musicians attempt to play grand, complex pieces to perfection, but at most they only achieved mediocre performances. Just how long was it going to take for you to come on stage?

"Now presenting contestant 105, l/n y/n. Playing piano concerto number one in E minor, opus eleven: two. Romance larghetto."

His eyes were directed to your figure that now walked onto the stage. Your head held high, your footing confident. Atsumu grinned, noticing that you were sporting that perfect smile of yours. He watched as you took a deep breath while fixing your stool.

Before your hands touched the keys, he observed how, for a quick second, your eyes changed from confident to anxious when studying the crowd. Your eyes were glued in the same spot briefly, however they were quickly averted back to the instrument. Could it be that large crowds made you anxious? No, it couldn't be, you seemed way too confident walking out on stage. He wondered just what made you apprehensive.

He continued to watch you intently.

Your fingers graced the keys. They quickly found their tempo and danced to the rhythm. You didn't miss a single beat nor note as you played. Everything was played to perfection, just as it always was.

Your smile disappeared, only to be replaced with a face of precision and focus. Your hands produced a soft melody, making the sound glide into his ears. No previous performer enchanted the audience like you did. The notes danced and swayed in the air.

Your song had so much power to it. It was as if a mystical spell was casted in the room the minute that you started to play. Atsumu's eyes widened as he watched you get lost in the song. There was absolutely no hesitation as you played. Your body was completely in tune with the instrument.

Although you weren't saying anything, you were telling a story to everyone in the room, captivating them. It was all perfect. Your rhythm, notes, tempo, and tone- it was exactly as written on paper. You quite literally were playing the piece perfectly. However, the story you were telling with your music, wasn't quite your own, but rather the composer.

You were guaranteed a first place win since you were playing a technical piece perfectly, but it lacked the emotion. You played it exactly as the composer intended, nothing more, nothing less.

Atsumu recognized the seemingly stoic look on your face. It wasn't something he could decipher easily at first, but now hearing you play, he could understand it. You were so obsessed, so intent with playing it perfectly, something he often found himself partaking in when in an important match. You were perfect, but at what cost?

There was no denying that you were extremely talented, certainly more talented than himself, he thought. But, he could only imagine how much more captivating you could be when expressing your own emotions with your talent.

As your song neared its end, the whole room stood up in applause. You stood up, knowing you played it perfectly, but you still felt empty. You remember a time where you used to love savoring the gratification from an overwhelmed audience. Now, however, you stood in front of everyone clapping for your perfect performance, and you couldn't feel less accomplished. Perhaps you were being too hard on yourself. When did playing piano turn into a chore?

You glanced to the top of the audience, the same place you were looking before the performance, and locked eyes with your dad. The same unreadable expression was present on his face. He shook his head and walked out the exit door. Your chest grew heavy, trying its best to hold in your tears in front of the audience.

You bowed in front of the audience, trying your best to conceal the emotions running rampant in you. You swiftly paced yourself offstage, running past your mentor who was there for support and into the backstage bathroom.

Your back leaned on the heavy door, all of your bottled feelings washing out. You looked at your face in the mirror, placing two hands over your heated cheeks. Your eyes started to sting, but you still stared into the reflection. Anger, disappointment, humiliation, vulnerability, and most of all, loneliness. You let it all spill out at that moment.

There was so much more you wanted to do with your music, but at that moment no amount of praise could convince you that it was worth it. All in life you ever wanted to do was make your dad proud, show him that you are worthy enough to be your mother's daughter. Was anything you did ever going to be good enough for him?

"y/n, it's Haruka-sensei." A voice from the door knocked. "I thought you played the piece perfectly, I'll be in the lobby, so come out when you're ready."

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Your hands made their way to your face again, this time cleaning up the tears and smudged mascara. Looking up one last time, you smiled into the mirror. Over the years, you convinced yourself that if you faked being happy enough, eventually you will be. It's not like anyone could tell the difference from it anyways.

You opened the door slowly, trying to gain your composure again. You bumped into many kids roaming the halls backstage looking anxious to perform. The maze of people was something you were now used to navigating.

The lobby was empty with the exception of your sensei and dad, everyone else still in the auditorium watching the final stretch of the performances. Haruka-sensei and your dad didn't get along for the most part, which is why you weren't surprised when you saw them standing in completely opposite areas of the room.

Your dad was first to approach you. "What did you think that was?" His voice was laced with alcohol. Your gaze met his. His eyes filled with resentful judgement. "You think you can get away playing like shit and make your way to the top?"

Droplets of tears fell to the ground once more. "I asked you a question!"

You looked to the ground. "No, I know I'll never be good enough." You sniffed harshly, still trying to maintain your composure, but failing. You hated crying in front of your dad. It was arguably the worst feeling in the world, like you were being isolated in a dark void with nothing but disappointment.

He watched you cry. You could feel his gaze burning into the top of your head, which still faced the ground in fear. All of a sudden, you felt a harsh grip on your wrist that was sure to leave a bruise.

"And don't you ever forget that," He spat. "I bet your mother is even more repulsed by you than I am. It's a joke that you think you'll ever be anything great." He shook your arm firmly, forcing you to see the aggravation displayed on his expression.

"That's enough," Haruka yelled, shoving your dad to the side. She might've been a small lady, but she sure did know how to stand her ground. "I can't stand hearing you spread such bullshit hatred to your own daughter. You make me sick. Why don't you go and get yourself even more drunk. Maybe you'll wake up and find yourself passed out on a park bench."

He rolled his eyes and scoffed. He left the building, leaving just you and Haruka.

"Listen, y/n, I think you played beautifully. Your technique was perfect, and with just a few tweaks here and there, I'm sure you'll be more than ready to take the top spot at nationals." She praised. She gave you a genuine smile and pulled you into a hug.

Feeling overwhelmed, you started to cry for the third time that hour. "Shh- don't worry about your dad, he's just a loser-asshole that projects all his issues onto you." You felt comforted by her embrace. Although she'd only known you for about a month now, Haruka had quickly become one of your favorite piano mentors. She had the loving presence and embrace of a mother, something that was so foreign to you at first.

After your heavy tears and emotions subsided, you re-entered the backstage hallways. You sat in the corner of the hallway, directing your attention to a boy- who couldn't have been any older than twelve. He sat next to his mom, holding her hand as he kept on muttering about his nervousness.

You watched as the mom eased his nerves with a single statement. "My child, I love you now, and I'll still love you after you go out and perform." The words warmed your heart. The affection from a mother was a distant memory in your mind. You could never recall a moment you were sad around your mother. Why did she have to leave so soon?

Before the kid could respond, he was called out to perform. He hugged his mom quickly and scrambled to the stage. You sat there lost in your thoughts, imagining what life would be like if your mother didn't pass away so early on.

You sighed. There was no use in fantasizing about a false reality even if it brought you temporary peace from your discomfort. What only mattered now was the present moment.

You noticed that the boy was back, a giant grin plastered on his face as he met up with his mother, it'd only be a few minutes until the winners were announced. Soon enough, all of the competitors were asked to reconvene at the stage.

You looked out at the audience again, but this time it was different. Rather than feeling anxious when meeting the gaze of someone, you felt content. Atsumu flashed his famous smirk and displayed a thumbs up, only to be quickly smacked down by Osamu. The two seemed to get into an argument after that, making you look at Suna who was now a giggling mess. The whole event made you laugh, momentarily forgetting about the heavy reign of disappointment on your shoulder.

However, the three of them got their act together once the top three standings were being announced. This part always made you fidgety. The uncertainty of the outcome always twisted your stomach in knots. Once second and third place were announced you took a deep breath, hoping that you were to be crowned first.

"And-" Here it was, you thought. The moment that decided whether or not you'd go to nationals. "-first place for the Hyogo Regional piano competition goes to-" You could feel your heart beating out of your chest. Your nails dug into your arm, the tension eating away at you. "-l/n y/n."

You almost jumped to the front of the stage when they announced your name. You did it, despite what your dad said, you did it. And it didn't matter what hateful words of disappointment he spat at you because in that very moment, you were enough.

Atsumu watched as you were handed a certificate. A radiant smile now present on your face. This smile was different, though. The one he was used to seeing was the seemingly perfect one, the one so perfect it was almost fake. The one you wore right now was one of genuine, heartfelt joy. Was this the real you? Just what else were you hiding under that perfect smile?

Osamu tapped his shoulder. "Stop staring at yer little girlfriend and let's go to the lobby before it gets too crowded. Suna said we're going to go out for udon."

"Yeah, yeah 'm coming," He muttered, never once taking his eyes off of your smile.

fun facts !

Osamu and Atsumu are notorious for always being late for everything, whether it be 10 minutes to an hour.

Atsumu daydreams when he's bored, only paying attention to what he wants to.

Every time Osamu cooks, he always puts on music in the background and it always differs depending on his mood.

perfectionism ©

smau written by @sagefzy

taglist: open just send an ask :)

@shephard17895 @art-junkie-13 @vhsryuu @qualitygiantshoepsychic @everytimeswift @kritiiiii @why-couldnt-it-be @sunahyejin @jbsonelesslonleygirl @tanakasimpcorner @iwasunshine @succulentmom @ashy-lyn @bakudummy @rinsangel @kachuuha @sakusasimpbot

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chalkrevelations · 3 years

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Street Dance of China S3, Ep 3. It sounds like maybe I should step up my pace on these, as they’ve announced the captains for S4 now? (Yibo back, Lay Zhang back, plus a couple of new guys I don’t actually recognize yet.) When is this going to air because it is just LAUGHABLE that I can keep up with 3+ hours of this a week. Particularly if I’m going to keep obsessively re-watching Word of Honor AND try to finally finish Killer & Healer in the miniscule free time I actually have for teevee. There’s certainly no way I can watch and dither on about 3+ hours/week worth of dance show in realtime before January, at least.

ANYWAY, this ep, we get a recap of everyone falling out after the captains’ cypher, and we learn who got the final extra towels and passed through to the next round: Lu Jiao Ni, who we barely see, on Team Jackson Wang; Yuan Ye (as promised) and A Li (who we barely see) on Team Lay Zhang (ETA: Wait, we find out later that A Li isn’t even on Lay’s team, she’s on Yibo’s - he wouldn’t move her on, and she gets one of Lay’s towels instead); Bullet (as promised) on Team Wang Yibo; and Xiao Ming (as promised? maybe? as we’ve barely seen this guy?) on Team Wallace Chung.

This week: Out of 400 people, we’re down to 105. Not all of these faces are familiar, and I suspect I don’t really need to learn 90 percent of the unfamiliar faces. I … am going to go out on a limb and make a guess that one of the dancers whose name has been bolded in one of the past two episode recaps is going to be the ultimate winner, because I have umpty SYTYCD episode reactions on my LJ, and I suspect I know how this works. I wouldn’t even put money on any of those five bolded names in the previous paragraph, quite honestly. Anyway, now it’s time to start culling down to 60. We bring out the team captains, and my first reaction is “MY EYES” because wth are some of you wearing? Wow. Yibo’s shoelaces are all over his jacket. Wallace looks like he rolled a flasher on the street for his trenchcoat. Lay Zhang is wearing a baggy pink jumpsuit, and I guess, OK, it’s easier to maneuver bathroom breaks in one of those when you have a dick, but that’s definitely a fashion trend that should have stayed back in the ‘80s. I guess questionable fashion is an international phenomenon.

There’s also an empty chair for the promised Mystery Guest, and there’s a game with clues, and a lot of guesses from our captains about who the Mystery Guest will be, and Jackson does A Bit through the whole thing. I don’t know whether to be entertained or annoyed by him. He’s the only one without some egregiously questionable fashion choices (so far) this episode, so maybe he gets a pass. Anyway, I don’t have the pop cultural context to understand the guesses, and I also don’t have either the pop cultural context or the knowledge of this area of dance to grok the Mystery Guest’s identity, but he’s Huang Bo, and apparently he had more than 1000 dance performances in the 1990s, so he must be at least as old as me and Wallace, if not older. Yibo takes the opportunity to make the – very NON-politic – remark that maybe HE wasn’t even born yet at the time? That … is not the way to win friends and influence people, Infant. Also, the Mystery Guest is NOT the person Jackson kept doing A Bit about. The reveal is all very dramatic, and he does a lil’ bit of choreography from of each of the four Extant Captains’ videos before he takes off his mask, and they act appropriately impressed, and there are some girls with short shorts among his backup dancers, so that all happened. The show obviously wants me to be very impressed by him. Show also tells us he’ll have a special skill that will be very important and at least leads us to believe that he’s going to be the “life-saver,” so the audience immediately curries favor, or at least plays at it.

Next up: Rules. Eliminations this week involve contestants self-selecting into groups of anywhere from one to five people and performing for a panel of all the captains. Teams pull a number out of a hat for performance order. Thumbs up from all four captains, you go to the next round. Abstentions from all captains, you go home. Thumbs up from some and abstentions from others, you face the possibility of a call-out from other contestants, whereupon you have to dance for your life battle to find out which of you stays and which of you goes. Oh, and we’re only going to keep going until the 60 available seats are filled, and then we’re done. If you’re number 35, you’d better be prepared to battle someone earlier and kick their ass, or you’re fucked, you don’t even get to dance. I’ve said it before: Audentes Fortuna adiuvat. Only wait, ETA: There will be some last minute BS rules fuckery, in a way that is clearly intended to save someone in particular, which I feel some kind of way about - and it is not really the way that almost everyone on the show seems to feel - but I guess we’ll get to that later.

And cue ridiculously long nattering, so we’re going to cut here.

First group is Lin Meng (Team Wallace), Teng Zai (Team Lay), Bing - of the infamous motorbike flirtation - and Dian Men (both Team Yibo), along with a dude we haven’t actually seen yet, Tang Qian (also Team Yibo). Your lack of even B-roll so far is concerning re: your chances in this competition, Tang Qian. I’m just sayin’. Anyway, this is a powerhouse group, and at least Lin Meng and Teng Zai are familiar with each other because they’re from the same crew, and Xiao Bao remarks from the audience of contestants that these guys are going to go through, no matter what. They’re going to do a totally popping routine. My sound drops out at the beginning which … yeah, makes them look even more like a boyband at the beginning, in their matching baseball uniform shirts. So, here’s the thing, they’re a little muddled, they don’t move smoothly around each other on stage - their dance moves are coordinated, but they’re not moving in space like a group that understands each other. (Somewhere in here, my sound comes back, and Yibo already can’t hold still to the music.) The other thing is, though - all of these guys are very good at what they do, they finally hit their stride a minute or so in, and when they do, they hit it hard. I’m frankly surprised they don’t get passed right through to the next round, but Jackson abstains on the vote, and when called upon to explain himself, it turns out he just wants to see them battle. I can understand the impulse, Jackson, but this is already super stressful on all the dancers, and it doesn’t escape my notice that you’re the only one of the four captains without a dog in this particular fight, so a little bit you look like you’re doing this just because you can. Remember this, because it will set a bad example for an 11th -hour vote. Anyway, there’s the chance for a callout, which no one takes because the entire audience is convinced this group is too good to beat. Five of 60 seats taken.

Group two is Shen Kai Xiang – the Jack Ma lookin’ dude. He’s flying solo. He gets to stand around uncomfortably for a while onstage while Special Guest Huang Bo does A Bit making fun of all of the captains’ speech patterns and accents and pronunciation, except Yibo’s, because Yibo apparently never talks. Ha ha. (I’m also wondering if there’s some socio-cultural stuff underlying some of this that I’m not cued in enough to fully understand.) Huang Bo then tells the contestant that Jackson has probably fucked him over by praising him too effusively (he came from Jackson’s team, and Jackson already is displaying a tendency to rhapsodize about how everything is “ART”), so all the captains now will have inflated expectations that Shen Kai Xiang is surely only going to fail to meet. I’m beginning to suspect that Huang Bo’s Special Guest Superpower is not “lifesaver” but “kind of annoying asshole.” Maybe it’s to take that particular spotlight off of Chick. ANYWAY, Shen Kai Xiang FINALLY gets to perform, and he gets a little bit of a slow start, but he packs in a lot of elements and gets a LOT of good air in his moves once he gets wound up. He’s lyrical and super emo about it. I’m kind of “eh” on him – technically, he’s good, but I’m not particularly connecting with him, which I’m willing to admit could be a me thing, as everyone else seems super-impressed. Three captains pass him through. Yibo does not and explains this decision as personal preference – he likes more “underground” styles, more battle styles. Huang Bo brings back the issue of too-high expectations to help explain why Shen Kai Xiang isn’t being passed directly to the next round, even though Yibo just explained his decision and that is literally not the reason he explicitly gave. Anyway, Shen Kai Xiang gets no call outs, which seems to surprise Yibo, and we’re at six of 60 seats taken.

In quick succession, we move through Liang Hua Jie – we don’t see much of him, but we learn that while Wallace likes his musicality, Yibo doesn’t like his face (OK, doesn’t like his facial expressions, which, what can I say? I get this. If I’d had the power to unilaterally send home Lacey Schwimmer on her season of SYTYCD, I’d have done it, that’s how fucking annoying I found the way she’d mug for the camera the entire time she danced. Like I couldn’t even watch her dancing, because I was too distracted by what she was doing with her FACE the whole time.); Jian De Chao (wait, is this Chao from the first episode?) & Chen Zui – who, from what we get to see of them have some good flow and move pretty well together, but can get a little bit mushy in their moves, and Yibo likes their skills, but Lay thinks they don’t feel like a group, which what? Incorrect; and a group that’s dubbed themselves Purple Storm Show, which includes Alex from Jackson’s team and four other people who I can’t even catch – we barely see their performance, and Lay likes them, but Jackson thinks they’re flat. I can’t tell if any or all of these guys were sent through to the next round or sent home, but if they didn’t make it, then :( because I liked Alex, and he got hit in the eye for this, he deserves better than to get sent home because his team can’t get it together. We still have no group that’s been passed through by all four captains.

And then, next up is another powerhouse team: Gongsu Wu Ming and Hei Zai (Team Lay), George and Xiao Ming (Team Wallace), and (Xiao) Bai (Team Jackson). Yibo is skeptical about an all B-boy group, and don’t make me fight you, Yibo, because an all B-boy group is like my dream come true (sorry, poppers; sorry, lockers; my heart truly belongs to the B-boys, they are my favorite). We learn they added a flip at the last minute – an assisted flip, with a couple of them flinging George into the air over the other two of them. Wu Ming thinks that George is the only one of all the competitors who could do it, but George – who has a little more skin in the game than anyone else, as the guy who could potentially land on his head wrong - is a bit concerned about whether they’re going to pull it off. They start, and they’re all good, a little bit muddled before they hit their stride, but the slo-mo cartwheel is great, and from there, they’re off and running. This is why I like the B-boys – I know it takes a lot out of you to do this, but there is nothing – nothing – like the magnetic energy they can generate when they’re in their performance headspace and everything is flowing. This is a performance, and Wu Ming has talked a little bit about wanting to step up breaking, and if this is the sort of thing he wants to do, I’m all for it – give him the platform now. I’m going to take just a minute to single out Bai and say that he’s better when he’s not doing A Bit like he did in his initial performance for Lay Zhang – he’s much more electric here, and someone else’s choreography may make the difference. Jackson, Yibo, Lay – they’re all out of their seats, none of them can hold still in the face of this. We get to the end, and unfortunately, everyone else is kind of cluttered and mushy moving into position for the flip – that is not a way to go out guys, DO NOT DO THAT at the last minute – but then George f’kn NAILS the flip, so that’s thankfully the last impression they leave. The captain’s faces are a picture. (Except Wallace, who’s suddenly too cool to give us anything, apparently.) FIRST ALL-PASS. George’s assessment: “Not bad.” :facepalm: OK, Mr. Cool Guy. They also cut in a post-interview bit with Bai about the performance, and he notes that they all know each other, they’ve been battling each other for like, a decade, now. Dance together more, guys.

Moving on, we fortunately have another very strong group to follow them: Gai Gai, Wang Tao and Huang Xiao, all from Jackson’s team, and you can tell he badly, badly wants to start in on the ART! bit but he (loudly) keeps his mouth shut about this group until after the performance. The only one of these three we’ve seen so far this season has been Gai Gai, but they all dance in the same group together, and they seem to be well-known by a lot of the other competitors, particularly Huang Xiao, both as a dancer and a choreographer. They say they’re doing jazz, although I’d be more likely to call this contemporary, if I was going to put them in a box. They are gorgeous – lyrical, fantastic dance vocabulary, amazing choreography, beautiful musicality, and the way they move together as a unit is … :chef’s kiss: I think Huang Xiao may be the best of the three, technically, but there’s something ineffably charismatic about Gai Gai that’s pulling focus a bit – just a bit – more than the other two in this performance. If there’s a weak link, it’s Wang Tao, and really, that’s only by comparison with the other two, which is a really high bar. We get some shots of the audience of competitors worrying about Yibo’s reaction, given his preference for the old-school battle dancers and an apparent “strictness” with urban dancers and related genres, but these three also get an All-Pass to the next round, and Yibo talks to them a little bit about the choreography and his (complimentary) reactions to the performance before they leave the stage.

And then. Oh, dear. Then we get a group of three – Da Mao, A Li and Tall(? Maybe? It looked like he was going to get out of this anonymously – probably lucky for him – but then the subtitles threw up this name on him at the last minute) – who are the only krumpers who’ve made it this far. Lay Zhang is really promoting them, because he really wants to see a bigger krump presence, and he’s really nervous about their performance, and he really, really should not have pinned his hopes on these three, because I hate to say it but they are a hot fk’n mess. They are … not good. I can’t believe any of the three made it this far, and in fact, we learn after their performance, while everyone is sitting in a kind of stunned horror (and y’all, I am not exaggerating for effect there), that Yibo did not pass A Li on from his team, that she got one of Lay Zhang’s final extra battle towels. I mean, there’s an obvious gap in the quality of this performance compared to everyone else we’ve seen. There’s also a lot of pacing around and standing around instead of dancing. They’re trying for the attitude, but they’re not managing it. They do manage to get an embarrassed reaction from Chick, which says something all on its own, as I wasn’t aware that he had any shame. Other competitors also are doing the embarrassment-squick cringe in the audience. Lay Zhang is literally hiding behind his clipboard. This is the first All-Out we get, where they’re directly eliminated – not even Lay can bring himself to vote “yes” on them. Now, all the krumpers are gone, and Lay is visibly sad and frustrated, but as we appear to move to a little bit of a break, Yibo displays the most emotional intelligence of anyone there and asks Lay to teach him how to krump, to distract him and get him actually doing the dancing he enjoys for a little bit. It’s also a chance for Yibo to learn a new thing, and he talks about his chance to improve in a little interview bit from later on that’s cut in here. I mean, yes, that actually was kind of a sad attempt at krump during the cypher, my dude, so this can only help you, but you also are being an extremely good guy, giving your fellow captain some emotional support right now. Thumbs up.

Next up, we have AK Dong (Team Wallace), also flying solo, and they give us a little heart-tugging B-roll about how he doesn’t have a team with him there, so he’s going it alone. He’s fantastic right out of the gate - good musicality, clean and precise, and he’s got a nice texture to his performance, it feels … full even though it doesn’t feel as big and expansive as some of the other dancers. Unfortunately, Lay doesn’t agree with me (incorrect), says he wants a performance that’s more elegant and “balanced,” and is the single holdout vote, which opens my dude up to a call-out challenge. This is the guy who looks like comedian Hank Chen, which has overshadowed his dancing twice now, because he had to listen to it from Haung Bo when he came out to dance, and he CANNOT catch a break, because now he gets challenged by three teams, including Bouboo’s team, which also includes Klash, Bullet and Colin (all Team Yibo), plus Boris (Team Lay), who we’ve only seen B-roll of so far although he speaks good Chinese, despite being from … I’m not sure where, but not China? AK Dong complains about how Boris looks at him with innocent eyes and tells him that they have no option other than to challenge, which is true (ETA: insofar as we know at this point), because they’re #36, and the 60 slots would almost certainly fill up before they even get a chance to dance. This team wins the bottle spin against the other two challengers, and I mean. :hands: This is a slaughter. They’re five-on-one, and they’re all really good at what they do, they make it look effortless, and AK Dong’s face is going to kill me. Wallace actually does vote for him, but the other three vote for the team, and that’s five more seats filled, and AK Dong eliminated, and I’m annoyed (although not as much as I’m gonna be) because I liked him, and I would have liked for him to get a chance to dance without having to listen to the Hank Chen nonsense at least once.

Next, we have Li Yue & Sha Sha, who appear to dance together on the regular. They have a kind of sultry number put together as the Green Snake and the White Snake that is … hm. I don’t know if we’re classifying this as urban or jazz for the purposes of the show, but it’s another piece that fits more into my contemporary box, if we were classifying them for most of the Western dance spaces I’ve seen. They’re good, as befits this stage of the competition, but a little inconsistent, technically. Also, I don’t find them particularly exciting to watch – I feel like something’s missing, although I can’t quite put my finger on what. I’m not sure their flow is consistent, and they’re probably not helped by following Gai Gai, Huang Xiao and Wang Tao. They get three yes votes from Lay, Yibo and Jackson, although they are … enough to maybe make Yibo a slight bit uncomfortable, being the shy and fragile homosocial forest creature that he may be, or that he may be getting edited as, who knows. Huang Bo pokes at Lay Zhang about his reaction to and vote for them. He also basically says that Wallace didn’t vote for them because Wallace wasn’t turned on by them, because Wallace is still doing his imperturbable cool-as-a-cucumber routine. Wallace’s hold-out vote opens them up to a call-out, and several groups come down to challenge, including – bad luck for Li Yue and Sha Sha – TI, who win the bottle spin. This group includes choreographer Zheng Jian Peng, as well as Su Lianya, who I didn’t realize was a TI member, both Team Wallace, along with … oh my god, Wei Ming, who’s the “Sir, what are you doing?” guy from Episode 2 when Wallace was giving out towels to poppers like candy, and I’m kind of pleased he’s made it this far, just based on that moment, alone, never mind any dancing skills. Rounding out the group are Long Long and Wei Lin, both from Team Yibo, and I think we got B-roll of Wei Lin at some point during Yibo’s eliminations in the first couple of eps. I know nothing about Long Long at this point. At any rate, everybody in this group is so good, I can finally see how they got their rep – fantastic musicality, and a great job of working as a unit. They feel like a team, even when they don’t manage to be quiiiiite synchronized. I’m not really feeling their costumes. Su Lianya continues to be a standout, even in a group that sets the bar this high. Wallace’s composure finally breaks when the other team captains evince interest in poaching her, and oh my god, he still has the hair elastic that he held for her at her initial performance, that they said would be a token of their vow to go all the way in the competition together. OK, I give Wallace a lot of shit, but this is actually kind of adorable. He literally pulls it out of his pocket to tell the other captains they can’t have her and to plead with her to remember their promise to each other. TI gets three votes and moves on. (Lay, still apparently captivated by the snake ladies although not enough to bald-facedly vote for them in the wake of TI’s performance, abstains.)

Next up are Tao and CiCi, and OK. I’m going to be honest here. I think they’re leveraging the “couple” schtick for all it’s worth, and good for them, it looks like they can pull it off, because I think some of the amazed reaction we get from the captains and from the audience is influenced a lot by their coupleness, but at the same time, I think some of the amazed reaction we get from the captains and from the audience is actually influenced by their coupleness rather than their dancing. I mean, Su Lianya and Wei Lin are in the audience of competitors clutching each other’s hands and crying, and it seems to be just as much about Tao telling CiCi out loud that he loves her just before the music starts and the fact that they kiss as part of the piece, if not more than it’s about their actual dancing. The show is also really pushing me on this, because whereas, with everyone else, it tosses up closed captions that tell me what moves are happening (in addition to dialogue subs), now I’m getting things like “heaven-made match.” They’re good, but I think they actually also suffer a bit from following the Gai Gai/Huang Xiao/Wang Tao powerhouse, because I think we’re unlikely to get anything on the lyrical side of things that’s going to match up to that for the rest of the day. Tao and CiCi are better than Li Yue and Sha Sha were, and it is pretty badass the way she manages to make herself so small and compact she literally disappears behind him for that last little bit, and if they’d won the bottle spin on the last callout, they would have won the challenge, I have no doubt. But. :hands: I think the show has actually done that thing Huang Bo accused Jackson of earlier and set my expectations too high. I’m’a sound like Yibo – or like Yibo normally would, because he also seems to get suckered into the overwhelmed reaction for this – and say that I think Tao was better in the less lyrical style when he danced with Yibo and Bing in the Ep 2 towel battle. They get an All-Pass from the captains and talk about their inspiration for the piece, which apparently is a couple who confessed their love to each other the day before the girl had to go into COVID quarantine, and well, now I guess I feel like just a little bit of an asshole for not appreciating the COVID love story properly? Anyway, the captains then keep asking them intrusive questions about their relationship, and Huang Bo mocks Lay for apparently never being in love so he won’t understand what it’s like, and I’m cringing in my seat a little before Jackson gets us back on track and Tao and CiCi finally go sit down.

Then Huang Bo takes the chance to go over to the contestants who haven’t performed yet and stress them out about how few of the 60 available seats are left. I mean, I guess it’s part of competition, but come on, dude.

ANYWAY, next up, we have a group calling themselves Team Wake Up – it’s the waackers, and this group includes Xiao Bao and San Jin from Team Lay, along with a guy we haven’t seen yet, Tu Zi; Meng Di from Team Yibo; and Gao Shi Yu, who we also haven’t seen, from Team Wallace. They start working it, and I’m like, oh wait … and then they hit the Cat Walk, and I’m like, oh shit, and a light bulb finally goes off, because I’ve been super-fk’n slow, but now they’ve shown me what this genre is about, and I’m interested to see what they do here, because a lot of this performance could be straight off the floors of the ball scene. The entire group is pretty good, although I do think Gao Shi Yu is the weak link, she’s not quiiiiite up to the standard of the rest of them. They move well as a group, though, good coordination, sharp and clean, fantastic musicality, high energy all the way through, with EXCELLENT attitude, which is half the battle, because if you’re not confident for this kind of thing – or if you can’t at least fake it flawlessly – you might as well not even be out there. They all do lose a little bit of focus when they’re in the background as they break out for their individual moves, and they fall apart a tiny bit near the end. Also, Meng Di’s belt is off-center, and I know that sounds super picky, but it kept distracting me, so I wish that hadn’t been the case. Xiao Bao is definitely still the standout here – he takes the lead from the minute they come out, with the mic, and never really relinquishes it. We finally get to see San Jin perform, and his extension could be better. Tu Zi must be lacking in the charisma department to not have shown up before this, because he’s better than I expected. Before they started, the group that Xiao Jie and Yang Kai are in together – who still haven’t performed – were debating if they should challenge this group, but Xiao Jie advised waiting to see how good they were, and then after the performance is all, “nooo, we should not challenge,” and props to you for not just writing off the waackers, my man, because they get an All-Pass, and there’s not even a chance for a callout. Before we move on, Wallace clams he’s learned some waacking during the show, and the other captains (led by Jackson, who calls him gege) make him demonstrate, and the contestants, who know what side their bread is buttered on, applaud.

Available seat check. Yibo participates in further stressing out the contestants by saying “Like, a dozen?” All y’all need to be challenging whatever chance you get. Now I bet you’re sorry you didn’t challenge Shen Kai Xiang back at the beginning, aren’t you?

Next up is our group of X-Crew representatives, hop-hop, and Yibo is excited. I almost expect him to do a little dance in his seat. Yang Kai helpfully lets me know that this group is from the top hip-hop crew in China. Oh, hey, that’s Qin Yu, from Team Wallace, the guy who Gongsu Wu Ming immediately recognized as the weak link in one of the towel battles and got up on; the guy who subsequently got taken out by Teng Zai, My Beloved. Qin Yu, the guy we hadn’t even had B-roll on, and still don’t. I wonder if I’m reading too much into that. He’s joined by Flea (which I’m assuming is a direct translation, as it doesn’t sound like “flea” when he says his name?) and Ding, also from Team Wallace - neither of whom we’ve seen before, I think - along with Ting and Lei Xiao Yang from Team Jackson. This is also the first time we’ve seen Lei Xiao Yang. I … feel weirdly unconfident about the famed X-Crew, given we haven’t seen more of them before this. Then again, we’d only seen Gai Gai from her group, so maybe this is a BigSurprise!edit … Ting comes out hard and heavy, and I actually think this is the best performance we’ve seen from her so far. She spends a lot of time out in front on this one, and I don’t think I got from her initial appearance or from her towel battle performances just how good she actually is. Overall though … I am … not that impressed with this group. They start out strong, but then they get sloppy. They have trouble working as a unit, which is surprising from people who supposedly have experience dancing together. They’re all very good, but they’re not synchronized. A lot of their solo showcase bits lack complexity, and that is an understatement. Qin Yu still has some of that nice fluidity along with his pretty face, but he’s not balanced, and he absolutely does not have the finesse he needs to pull this off. They all do move into the end strong, together again, hard, power behind their moves - almost everything from the slo-mo move is good - but … it’s a little late, y’all. That took way too long to get back together. And then, they inexplicably descend into … it’s not even sloppiness, it’s an utter hot mess during, like, the last 15 seconds of the performance, which is absolutely not the final impression you want to leave. And … wow. Shit. There are captains who actually agree with me on this. Sometimes you see the expected top dancers allowed to slide some in these early rounds of competition shows, but not this time – Wallace and Yibo both vote yes, but Jackson and Lay both abstain, and Jackson … wow. Wow. Is disappointed in them and expected more. Despite the fact that he’s like, 12, and that he’s done this to past groups just because he wanted to see them battle, a little bit this actually has a vague feeling of your dad telling you how much you’ve let him down. The audience is shocked, but I’m glad to hear someone say it. It was a good - if spotty - performance but certainly not the best we’ve seen.

So, we have a callout, and the group with Xiao Jie and Yang Kai, which also includes some guys named Shen Zi Hao, Xiao Zhi Bin and Oscar, pounces. And that is a very deliberate word choice, because these guys are on X-Crew like a lion on the trailing gazelle. They’re in their Men In Black suits (ETA: Wait, no, I think maybe they’re Agent Smith suits), and the audience of other competitors is losing it. Xiao Bao is very excited about Xiao Jie. Both Yibo and Jackson look like they’re in actual physical pain, to be forced to make the choice that’s coming up. Ting looks like she’s getting ready to throw up – she’s accepting this with less equanimity than she did the possible results of her initial performance, at least on the surface. I … am dreading losing her, actually, because I suspect that’s what’s getting ready to happen, and I am so so sorry, baby, that you worked so hard to carry your crew like that and they couldn’t keep their shit together. On the one hand, I’m impressed they’re pitting this level of competition against each other so early. On the other, I feel Jackson’s and Yibo’s pain. God. God. The Xiao Jie-Yang Kai group is here to f’kn battle. This is shaping up to be a slaughter. They are fast, clean, precise, great musicality, complex moves, super performance. They’re synchronized, high energy, fantastic animation – which could be a little cheesy, but they’re confident and fearless enough to pull it off - fun and interesting. They are maybe a little bit too gimmicky to be perfect for my taste, but I’m not the one voting them through, and what they’ve come up with is perfect for the audience that matters – the captains, the majority of which are 20-something-year-old boys – and knowing your audience, and performing for them, is a skill, too. BIGGEST (and frankly, only) ISSUE: Somebody fucked up a move, right at the beginning … I think maybe Yang Kai? (ETA: Yah, it was Yang Kai, ugh, what a time for that to happen.) If you’re going to fuck up, best to do it at the very beginning, I guess, and then give this performance afterward, to mitigate it as much as possible, but that one misstep gives the captains enough excuse put off a decision they really don’t want to make, like it’s not just going to make it worse to kick the can down the road a few minutes. Split vote, 2-2 (I thiiink, Yibo and Jackson for X-Crew, Lay and Wallace for the challengers?), which throws it to a further battle. Ting and Xiao Jie, one-on-one, and both of them are feeling the pressure of competing for their entire team instead of just themselves. Two rounds, hiphop and locking. So, each of them is better in their specialty. Ting’s got some fantastic, precise moves for the hiphop round. Xiao Jie is not as good in this round; I do notice he’s got a more directly confrontational style when he’s battling. I feel like she’s doing more waacking than locking in the locking round. Overall, she’s cleaner, more precise, he’s got a little bit more energy. I wouldn’t want to make this decision, frankly. I think Ting was better technically, but Xiao Jie might be the better performer – better at all that other stuff that adds up to stage presence. I do wonder how much of the captains’ decision is influenced by the groups, and who the captains are or aren’t willing to lose, even though it’s supposed to be based on this 1x1 battle. Just looking at who the show has put emphasis on already, we’ve got Ting vs. Xiao Jie AND Yang Kai, and I don’t know that they’re going to want to let that one-two punch go. Wallace votes Ting and X-Crew. Yibo and Lay vote Xiao Jie and the challengers. Jackson, the coward, abstains. Looks like Ting and X-Crew are going home, and this is the first cut that I’m genuinely upset about seeing. Ting feels bad for letting her crew down, but they let you down first, baby, or you wouldn’t even have been in that position.

Available seat check: 12. Dancers left: 27. Well.

We’re coming up on two hours now, and there’s clearly some kind of drama we want to get to, because we whip through the next few performances – few names, limited time spent on them. The ones who do make it through are likely cannon fodder in the next couple of rounds. There’s a group of four in khakis that gets sent through to the next round; Yibo liked their moves. Guy named Zhan Ke in a suit goes through to the next round. We’ve turned into a clip show now, and the screen literally says “ … ” at one point as each group of competitors gets 3 seconds of airtime. Cut to three seats left out of the 60. There’s about seven people left, and … that includes Chick. I have a sinking feeling this guy is going to be the real focus, at this point. He’s paired up with some dude named Long, and they have lost the bottle spin on callout after callout after callout, so they’ve never had a chance to challenge, and now, look at these morose motherfuckers, still sitting in the bleachers. I almost feel bad for them.

So, three seats left, and the next group is three people: Yang Qi aka “Apple” from Team Jackson, Lin from Team Lay and Bobo from Team Wallace. Urban dancers. I lose sound on them right at the beginning, but they’ve got some nice sharp moves, good choreography, they work well as a unit. Solid performance, if not the best we’ve seen. Apple’s got the best technique, I think. Audience likes them a lot. We get a cut to Chick and the other competitors who haven’t danced yet as we count down for the vote, and they are all dying. Three votes yes. Yibo abstains. Huang Bo is so prepared for this group to be sent right through that he starts clapping and congratulating them, and Yibo has to be all, “Wait, no. Not yet.” The captains give their reasoning: Jackson says that he felt their power, emotion, speed all deserved full marks. Yibo agrees.

Yibo agrees.

…

...

…

Their faces in response, y’all. Their little WTF faces as he explains that he really just wants to see the other dancers, too. Oh my god, Yibo. You can’t just say that out loud. Are you serious with this, you can’t even make up a thing to fake critique them on? Cut to a later interview with Bobo, who’s been the least able to school his face journey in response to this: “Wang Yibo, I won’t forget.” Also, Bobo says, you’re not even hot. (lol) Joking aside, the group goes on to make all the correct noises about sure, it’s a competition, you face competitors, it’s what happens, because what are you gonna say? Meanwhile, to be completely honest, I’m probably the person who’s been least able to school their face journey in response to this, because come on, Yibo. It’d be one thing if you were making some kind of statement about the way they set this up from the beginning, with all competitors unable to participate, but I’m pretty sure you’re actually doing this to give Chick another chance, because you have been inexplicably all up on his jock since he showed up, what is it about this guy? I don’t get it. At all.

So, we get a callout, and everyone left challenges, of course, because this is probably the last chance. The audience is rooting for Chick. I still don’t get it. Bottle spin ends up on … Zhao Hai Jie, from Team Wallace, who we’ve never yet seen perform. Here’s the thing: If he can win this battle, then he only takes one seat, leaving another two seats available. However, he is NOT going to win this battle, not without ripping off any figleaf of fair competition that the show may have, because he’s just not that great. If he wins, there’s no way around the fact, right in your face, that it’s a strategic vote. He does not win. Four votes for Apple, Lin and Bobo. Sixty seats filled.

HOWEVER, just in case you were worried there may be any integrity here, director Lu Wei comes ambling out to say, hey, you know those rules we have in place? Well, fuck ‘em. Who cares. Let everybody left battle, and whoever wins that battle can have a seat along with the 60 other people. I’m going to translate this one, because despite the limitations of my Level 1 Duolingo Mandarin, I have umpty SYTYCD episode reactions on my LJ and I feel like I’m pretty fluent in Dance Show BS: “We really want to keep somebody who’s left, so there’s going to be some chicanery on our part.” They really do not want Chick to go home, y’all. I know it’s him. It’s super extra obvious they’re desperately trying to save him, at this point. And I am here to tell you that if Chick ends up on this show and Ting goes home, there will be nothing on this earth that could possibly resurrect Chick from the Pit of My Dislike.

Anyway, we get Dai Dai from Team Lay, who describes herself as a fusion dancer and is pretty good for the first 40 seconds or so of her music and then completely loses the thread and kind of falls apart. The captains do not seem impressed. Possibly they also know we’re just killing time until we get to Chick. Up next is Su, who is Very Dramatic. He doesn’t say what team he’s from, but given Wallace’s reactions, I suspect he’s from Team Wallace. I suspect Yibo’s not going to like his face. His performance goes increasingly off the rails as he goes on. He’s got a lot of goodwill from the audience of competitors, but no. This is not a winning performance. And then we get Chick & Long, literally the last to perform. Chick spends the entire time doing A Bit. Long, who anyone barely remembers is even there, does 2/3+ of the dancing. Everyone – everyone – is apparently vastly entertained by Chick, and I just … :hands: Fine. He’s a character, but I have yet to see anything in three episodes, across, like, 7 hours, that lets me see whether he can really dance or not. Yibo literally tells Jackson, “He doesn’t have many tricks, but he’s got a ton of ideas” and later says he’s a B-boy without a power move. Anyway, one vote for Su (Wallace), three votes for Chick and Long. We’re at 62 dancers, and I cannot believe I’m going to be subjected to Chick’s continued clownery when Ting has to go home.

Thank GOD we’re activating the Special Guest Host Powers, the first of which is “REVIVE,” i.e., bring someone back who was eliminated. Yibo is immediately like, omg, the hip-hop group. Then we do Yet Another Bit where the captains cater to Huang Bo so that he’ll take their advice on who to revive, and it goes on too long when we are, my god, two hours and fourteen minutes into this. Meanwhile, Yibo reiterates, the hip-hop group. Yeah, Yibo, this I approve of - if I gotta watch you fall all over yourself over Chick, you need to get Ting back for me. So, we’re finally getting the captains’ actual recommendations: Jackson says the hip-hop group, possibly feeling bad about the fact that he’s the one who spiked their chance the first time around? Yibo is all, me too! Yes! That one! It’s kind of adorable. Also, yes, Yibo, you need to get Ting back for me. Lay says Li Yue and Sha Sha, the white and green snakes. Wallace recommends a popping group that I don’t even know if we saw perform? At any point in the past 7+ hours of three episodes? Wallace, are you high? Anyway, THANK GOD, Huang Bo brings back the X-Crew group. We’re at 67 dancers.

Second Special Guest Host Power is … “battle?” So, we’re setting up Qiang Qi Da Zhan, aka Seven to Smoke, which they’ve apparently done in past seasons? Each captain picks two people – eight total – to participate. Twenty minutes total. Increments of 30 seconds each to battle. And I guess you have to accumulate seven points in various battles. We don’t get to hear the captains’ picks, but I can see that AK Dong is called back for this one. Also, I spot one of the krumpers. (:eyeroll: Really, Lay? Because I know that was you.) We see some clips of this. We see AK Dong get to six points. He … maybe gets his seventh point? Anyway, he says in the last interview clip that he’s here. I guess we officially find out the Seven to Smoke results next ep?

Also next episode: Divided into two groups and battling by genre for the next elimination. Five rounds. Also looks like captains might get a chance to poach from other teams. Also some wacky fuckery with the dancers’ heads that looks like it’s going to be stomping all over my embarrassment squick, argh.

Finally, we get a peek at hotpot, and it sounds like they ended up with 70 dancers, so three people managed to get seven points in Seven to Smoke? And somebody’s mom is apparently coming to hotpot, but I’d have to watch the actual hotpot show to find out whose mom, and we’re out.

#wang yibo #jackson wang #lay zhang #zhang yixing #wallace chung #street dance of china #sdoc episode reax

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cinematicnomad · 3 years

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1, 7, 25 for the fanfic end of year ask :)

001. favorite fic you wrote this year i have a soft spot for take my hand (take my everything) which was the first fic i wrote this year! and kind of the first step back into writing creatively on something new that wasn’t the 7 year monster sterek fic. also my first foray into 9-1-1 fic and was just a lot of fun!

007. longest completed fic you wrote this year the longest fic i wrote was my second for the year! so show me (family) wound up being around 16k+ for 9-1-1 which kind of burst out of me over the course of one 48 hour window unlike take my hand which took a few weeks to crank out.

025. a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read SO MANY FICS DUDE!!! i’m gonna rec a couple, some that i re-read this year and some that i discovered for the first time, all from a variety of fandoms. BUT heads up, you didn’t specify a fandom so it’s gonna be a little scattered. also someone else sent me this same question but specified 9-1-1, so i’m gonna reserve those recs for that ask. GET READY!!

and this, your living kiss by opal_bullets (7/7 | 84k+ | M) destiel; AU: college/university; john winchester’s A+ parenting; angst with a happy ending

only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet jack allen is just kansas mechanic dean winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen.

until, that is, a string of coincidences leads dean to auditing a poetry course with one dr. castiel novak. the professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia’s foremost expert on the poetry of jack allen.

note: i discovered this fic back in the pre-pandemic times of feb 2020 and i’ve read this fic TWICE since, leaving a lengthy comment each time. the poetry in the fic itself is stunningly gorgeous and i have a habit of reading it out loud to myself while reading bc it begs to be heard. this fic is seriously beautiful and makes me want to read all the poet!dean au’s out there in the world. unfortunately there aren’t that many so i just keep coming back to this well. i don’t think i can express enough how much i love this fic.

lost time by ARCurren (105/105 | 350k+ | T) bransonxsybil; AU: canon divergent; outsider POVs; original characters; slow burn

the story of a free spirit who was asked to give up the man she loved for a system she didn’t believe in and what happened next. AU after 3.04.

note: did i think, when i stumbled across this fic years ago, that it would wind up being one of my all time favorites that i return to time and again to re-read? never. did i re-read it for like the dozenth time this year?? 110%. this fic is everything i want from fanfiction—it’s beautifully written, expands on canon, and shows me all the hidden moments the cameras never did (not to mention it’s historically accurate and delves deep into irish politics of the time). the first third or so of this fic is all about tom and sybil’s slow burn romance at downton, but the fic really bursts into its own when we follow the two to dublin and get introduced to all of the author’s deliciously detailed oc’s. heads up warning: this fic was never officially completed, though the final chapter is a beautifully written summary of the final arc of the fic. even so, it’s fucking worth it.

misfire by mothlights & unpossible (6/6 | 28k+ | T) sterek; time travel; angst with a happy ending; alive hale family; magic; alternating POV

“the debt must be repaid,” she says, and it has the weight of a vow. the words resonate through him, ringing through his ribcage and the bones of his jaw, and stiles loses his breath and maybe his grip on reality because she draws herself upright and where there had once stood a supermodel-level MILK now there is galadriel’s much hotter older sister, a presence of unmistakable power in their ordinary, smells-vaguely-of-thai-takeout hallway.

“oh shit,” stiles says.

note: this fic is the first in the misfire ‘verse and i need you to understand that it literally broke me when i binge read these fics a month or so ago. i am a sucker for a solid time travel fic especially bc there are such few good ones in fandom. but this gets at the heart of it all by exploring the idea of stiles getting the chance to save derek’s family and taking it...after he and derek are romantically together in his true timeline and then actually dealing with the ramifications of how that alters everything and how stiles survives in this new present where he and derek are virtual strangers. everyone should definitely read this, but you should also know that i fucking sobbed while reading the sequel (which also has a happy ending, but really digs deep into the nitty gritty angst of the repercussions).

map of the world by seperis (11/11 | 154k+ | M) destiel; end!verse; alternate universe; canon divergent; original characters; slow burn

the world’s already over and they’re already dead. all they’re doing now is marking time until the end.

note: look, if you don’t know about down to agincourt by @seperis, what are you doing with your life?? the series is over 1M+ words so far, the fic author is on book 4 out of a planned 8, and it’s fucking phenomenal. i know i’ve tagged a couple of these recs as slow burn but...this is the slowest slow burn to ever burn. canon!dean travels back into the end!verse timeline just as lucifer kills dean and somehow cas made it out alive and has to keep dean safe while he learns to become his end!verse counterpoint. the world building in this series is intense and i cannot recommend it enough. i’m still in the midst of my re-read bc it’s SUCH an endeavor but i highly recommend it to everybody.

invictus by ellanasan (116/116 | 355+ | M) hayffie; au: alive abernathy family; pre-hunger games; canon prostitution; slow burn

“so then, before i can even think about doing something stupid like trying to stab him with his fucking golden paperknife, he gives me a choice, see?” haymitch continued, almost detached. “either i play nice like all the other victors or he’ll kill my family. i could either become his puppet—greatest punishment he could give me, according to him—or i could become the example.”

AU in which haymitch’s family lives.

note: hello, have you ever wondered what the hunger games series would be like if haymitch’s family were alive? i fucking hadn’t until 2 years ago when i stumbled across this fic and fell head over heels in love with this ship. @ellanainthetardis is my go to hunger games fic writer for anything exploring canon and i’m obsessed with anything she writes about the OG victors pre-canon (finnick, joanna, chaff, etc). this fic is just 300k+ exploring that world and all the intricate details of how cruel the games could really be. HIGHLY recommend. i definitely re-read it this fall when i needed a pick me up.

don’t know what i’m supposed to do (haunted by the ghost of you) by crazyassmurdererwall (1/1 | 30k+ | T) sterek; canon divergent; angst with a happy ending; ghosts; stiles POV

stiles sees dead people. yep. seriously.

(he’s got this. he’s totally got this. so what if one of them is derek’s mom?)

note: did you know that @crazyassmurdererwall is one of my all time favorite people? and that she’s wicked talented? and that in our spare time she’ll send me a billion fic ideas that are amazing and i get to hear all the intricate details of her plot bunnies? but i digress. this fic is one of my all time fave sterek fics i’ve re-read it sooo many times. there’s just something about the heartache and stiles’ insecurity and the way he tries to shoulder it all on his own. and then there’s alli’s brilliant writing, the way she weaves through a scene and paints a picture just so and manages to tug at your heart strings with her precise word choice. there’s some amazing world building in this fic as it explores this other facet of the supernatural that canon teen wolf never touched upon, and i’m so grateful for that bc alli is the only one who should be allowed to write about ghosts and teen wolf together.

lagavulin and guinness by snarfle (10/10 | 163k+ | explicit) hartwin; slow burn; PTSD; suicidal thoughts; graphic depictions of violence; domestic abuse

plenty of people had looked down on eggsy throughout his life. he had gotten fairly used to it. didn’t mean it was fair, but he knew how these things worked. what really sucked was that the new arthur was worse than the old one.

“eggsy grimaced. he didn’t know how to explain to harry—who seemed like he hadn’t been discriminated against a day in his life—that the new arthur kept giving him what amounted to suicide missions, and that he was currently bleeding out in a warehouse because of the deliberately bad intel she had given him.”

also featuring: dean is harder to get rid of than eggsy thought, his mum is going off the deep end, there are way too many nefarious plots in play, and eggsy is really beginning to wish that harry would stop holding his hand and kiss him instead.

note: look, i know i recced this literally less than a week ago but i ALSO stayed up til 5AM re-reading this last night and it was a-m-a-z-i-n-g. i was on a bit of a kingsman kick earlier this year, so i’ve actually re-read this fic TWICE so far in 2020. i will give you a serious warning in that this fic delves deep into domestic abuse through the lens of a variety of different relationships. it also explores the potential for abuse in hartwin, bc this fic is one of the few that actually commits to the fact that they’re literal spies who murder people. actively. a lot. but seriously, this fic is one of my fave in the fandom and i STRONGLY recommend it.

waste of breath by bryrosea (1/1 | 22k+ | M) loganxveronica; canon compliant; missing scenes; navy; past child abuse

logan echolls, the nine years, and the navy.

note: bryrosea has an obscene number of amazing logan and veronica fics (her canon divergent series stay with me is another i re-read this year), but i’ve found myself returning to this fic a lot over the years. i’m a sucker for canon compliant fics that explore the missing scenes in between canon and this fic hits all the right buttons by diving deep into how logan echolls went from being a trash fire at hearst college at the end of s3 to being a decorated navy pilot by the movie. it explores logan seeking out therapy and making a life for himself that he can be proud of, all while pining after the girl who got away. and bc this author is amazing, she followed it up with a sequel from veronica’s point of view in the series done by only me.

the law of equivalent exchange by awed_frog (8/8 | 60k+ | M) destiel; POV castiel; pre-canon; post-canon; canon compliant; immortality; reincarnation

“and what’s the point of it?”

“of love? there isn’t one. loving is its own purpose.”

note: i mean??? i don’t really know what to say except that this is one of the truly most beautiful fics i have ever read. it follows castiel through time as he meets different reincarnations of sam and dean across history and falls ever more deeply in love. it is achingly tender and so ecstatically written that i die just thinking about it. and that summary? i mean. holy fuck break my heart why don’t you? i don’t know how i missed out on this fic for so long since it was published in 2015 but i only learned about it for the first time back in july and it was. life changing?? when the fic finally reaches the canon timeline and he meets THIS dean it’s peak yearning. 10/10 will read again.

ahead in the count by elisela (17/17 | 50k+ | E) sterek; AU: sports; pitcher!stiles; teacher!derek; long distance relationship; getting together

“yankee fan,” derek says, laughing when stiles makes a disgusted face. “the bronx bombers, stiles, you can’t be a new yorker and—”

“stop talking right now,” stiles sighs, shaking his head. “i can’t believe i still want to kiss you after that,” he says, pulling derek in by his coat. “this is making me rethink everything.”

“i’ll never watch them again,” derek promises, and stiles laughs against his mouth.

or: stiles is a starting pitcher for the NY mets when he meets and falls in love with derek. derek doesn’t know.

note: i read SO MANY of @elisela’s 911 fics this summer, which i loved, and then she got into teen wolf and started writing sterek and i just about died. this fic is amazing, one of my fave sterek AU’s that i’ve read in years. it’s just the right amount of drama and angst and fluff filled with all the joys of miscommunication and character relationships that makes reading sterek such a joy. reading this fic and finding out eli needed fic recs pushed me to dive back in to reading sterek fics for a bit this fall so i can say with the utmost authority that this is one of the best i’ve read in a long time.

i used to think one day we’d tell the story of us by notequitegucci (2/2 | 32k+ | M) gendrya; alternate universe—modern setting; outsider POV; friends to lovers; friends to lovers

9 times a stark encounters gendry + 1 time he meets the starks.

note: again, this is the first in a 2 part series titled love me like you do that explores arya and gendry’s dynamics together through the point of view of her family. game of thrones ended last year with a whimper but i keep returning to the gendrya tag on ao3 to seek out new, amazing content and also to re-read some old favorites. i can’t remember if i came across this for the first time last year or this one, but i’ve read it and re-read it more times than i can count since and i love it more than i can describe. i’m a total sucker for outsider POV fics and my biggest pet peeve in canon is the fact that none of the stark’s ever found out that arya and gendry had a history together. this modern au fic almost makes up for it by giving me a gendry encounter with every family member and then the big reveal. it’s peak content.

theeeeeeese recs got a little away from me. i wasn’t originally intending on adding lengthy notes to each entry but ... oh well!! these are all amazing so please enjoy.

fanfic end of the year asks

#lilolilyr #ask #if i knew an authors tumblr i tried to tag them in this #seriously my reclist got away from me for a bit #also if you're looking for 911 recs #like i said they will be in another ask where someone specified!!#fic rec #about kat writes

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tibbinswrites · 4 years

Text

Fate and Frayed Edges

My first Critical Role fic! I have been obsessed with this show and the story of Vox Machina for the past month and a half. I have officially finished Campaign 1 so I decided to write a little something. Because I am Vaxleth trash now.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series)

Relationships: Keyleth/Vax'ildan (Critical Role), Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III/Vex'ahlia

Summary: An angst-filled fic where Vax and Keyleth try to figure out their next steps and sort through hurt feelings with the Raven Queen's deal looming. Takes place during episode 105.

Read it here

They hadn’t really had a moment alone since Vax had stumbled back to them in the Feywild, and Keyleth still couldn’t quite bring herself to believe that he was real. She supposed it didn’t help that they’d met two gods since. Elysium, while beautiful, was hardly the kind of place that made her feel grounded in reality.

A little ironic then that their next stop at Terrah, the home of the Earth Ashari, was where she was finally, finally allowed to crash. Vax had tried to talk to her even as she balled herself up facing the wall, on the very far edge of the slightly lumpy mattress. He undressed and lay next to her as though he was allowed, as though nothing had changed, as though he was still alive. He had reached for her with his cold hand and she flinched away, curling tighter into the blankets and squeezing her eyes shut as though that would stop the tears. She felt herself shaking, with rage or fear she wasn’t sure. She felt his soft huff of a breath move the edges of her hair, the sound something a little like pain, a little like disappointment, a little too much like understanding. He didn’t try to touch her again but settled on his own side of the bed, giving her space and making no further attempt to breach the gap. She wished he would, and at the same time she was glad he didn’t.

She woke a bare few hours later, her eyes gummy as she blinked them open. The room was still dark, the rough clay walls monochrome to her half-elven sight, even as she picked out small cracks and the dust that tumbled out as the next shift of the ground shook it loose. She wondered if that was what had awoken her. It didn’t take much these days, she’d become a light sleeper out of necessity. Running from danger to danger did that to a person. She was tempted to let sleep take her once more but the idea worried her. She seemed to have escaped nightmares so far, but it would only be a matter of time before they crept up on her. Images flashed through her mind: Vecna, one hollow, pulsing green socket, the other eye pinched in a malicious grin as he pointed his finger at a bound Vax, held frozen near her feet, finishing the work Delilah had begun out of spite for her. She watched, helpless, unable to move as for the second time in just a few seconds—though she still wasn’t entirely sure how—Vax’s skin turned black and began to flake away, his eyes darting from the place where his sister had just fallen, meeting hers for the briefest of moments, full of fear, before his armour lay empty of all but ash.

A sob wrenched its way out of her before she could stop it and she pushed a hand to her mouth quickly to muffle the sound.

“Kiki?” The voice behind her was barely more than a whisper.

Keyleth said nothing. Perhaps if she was quiet and held still he’d think she’d just made a noise in her sleep. Of course, it was a foolish hope. Vax’ildan was no idiot, and he knew her too well.

Read more on AO3

#fanfiction #critical role #vaxleth #vax'ildan #keyleth #misc #angst #vox machina #writing #TibbinsWrites

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sloppykyuu · 3 years

Note

pea, bit concerned if i have some obsession with my weight or sm. i already have body dismorphia, but like i just noticed that im constantly checking my weight everyday and get upset if i weigh over 105 lbs. also loosing a lot of weight and lost like 15 lbs at the beginning of quarantine. (used to weigh 118 lbs at 4'8"-4'11" so it's probably why i feel like 105 lbs is icky for me) and im now 100 lbs but i still eat quite a lot.

although i know that its probably just from eating and just temporarily added weight until i walk again around the pool table (a habit i randomly started during quarantine from wanting to be on the move again and probably walk around it for like 2 hours in total per day) and it helps me loose weight.

but now that i look it up the average weight for a 5'2" girl is 104 or 108-125 lbs so im like ??? im underweight??

probably a bit too personal just wanted someone to tell lol

Hmm I’m glad u shared even tho I’m not too good at this kind of stuff. But I weigh 112 and I’m 5’3 I flunctuate between that and 118. But I truly don’t think it’s anything to worry about, my mom looks at her weight a lot and gets upset over gaining a pound or two but that’s okay!!

I really don’t think that’s too underweight or anything to stress over. As long as you’re eating regularly and taking care of yourself that’s not bad at all. Bodies are weird and I really don’t think that you can expect too much from them and for them to stay consistent because they really can’t.

#if that makes sense #pea answers stuff #charli❣️

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1985keery · 5 years

Text

✰ prompt list ✰

Hey!!!! So I love to write so I made a prompt list! If you want me to do a certain one, just message me this number(s) and person!! i do

- that 70s show

- stranger things

- jim halpert

- bbc sherlock

- + more!!!

anyway here are the prompts lol:

1. "I love that color on you"

2. "What could possibly go wrong"

3. "You haven't been yourself lately"

4. "My boyfriend is a basic white girl"

5. "Maybe I'm meant to be alone"

6. "Stop acting like you care!"

7. "What happened to you!"

8. "You don't sing anymore"

9. “It's 4 in the fucking morning"

10. "I'm dying!" "It's a sprained ankle"

11, "You promised me - you promised!"

12. "You don't know me at all"

13. "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO CUTE"

14. "I love you" "Why"

15. "You're so cheesy"

16. "I wish you could see yourself as I see you"

17. "Is that my skirt?"

18. "I see how you look at him"

19. *Cackling* "Stop, I'm gonna pee!"

20."Ya know what, I'm not even gonna ask"

21. "Your breath smells good"

22. "How would you know what that taste like?"

23. "Of course you were in marching band"

24. "You're mine, and I don't share"

25. "Okay, that one hurt, but I'll let it slide"

26. "You're so cute! Take your pants off"

27. "My work is important!" "And I'm not?"

28. "You'll catch me right?" "Always"

29. "We are not naming our child that"

30. "Stay here and don't move, I'll be right back"

31. "I don't even know who you are anymore!"

32. "It's not what it looks like"

33. "Take one more step and I snap her pretty little neck"

34. "Hey hey hey, I'm here, you're okay, you're safe"

35. "Please stop crying, it breaks my heart"

36. "Get down from there!"

37. "Don't be afraid, I'm here"

38. "Can you just hold me?"

39. "It was you and me against the world. The world won"

40. "Whatever you do, don't make a sound"

41. " I was angry, and she was available, and I'm so sorry"

42. "Stop it - you're scaring me"

43. "Do you still like me" "I married you"

44. "Man, you're whipped"

45. "You loved her. You loved her and it scared you and now she's gone"

46. "Psst, wake up"

47. "What are you gonna do about it"

48. "Shut up" "Make me"

49. "Just one more kiss"

50. "I have to go to work" "Nooooooooo"

51."Behave - we're in public"

52. "I don't want your pity"

53. "Are you okay" "Yeah" "You're bleeding" "Okay maybe I lied"

54. "That's what she said"

55. "Go upstairs and lock the door, okay? Don't come out unless I tell you"

56. "What the hell is that supposed to mean"

57. "You make my heart happy"

58. "I'm obsessed with that dimple"

59. "I think I've loved you since that first day"

60. "No takesies- backsies"

61. "You taste good"

62. "You are love in it's best form"

63. "Oh my sweet girl/boy, what have they done to you"

64. "You can't die on me, do you understand, you can't"

65. "Her angel eyes see the good in many devils"

66."This is illegal" "Yep"

67. "Well tell them to fuck off" "But that's mean!"

68. "You're so immature" "Your moms so immature"

69."You look so good tonight, baby"

70. "The worlds biggest badass can't handle a book where the dog dies"

71."We have each other, and that's enough"

72. "If you wanted a kiss you could've just asked"

73. "Stop biting your lip"

74. "You knew how important this was to me"

75. "I'm out of second chances"

76. "I can do whatever I want, we're not dating, remember?"

77. "I'm just one of your many booty calls"

78. "I would give you the world if I could"

79. "Ew, I look gross"

80. "I don't want you to get sick!"

81. "People are staring at us"

82. "I'll always be here, no matter what"

83. "You can get closer, you know"

84. "Can you sit still"

85. "You have the mentality of a toddler"

89. "You p-promised you-you-you wouldn't let them h-hurt mmmm me"

90. "That's my girl"

91. "I'm fine" "Don't do this" "Really, I'm fine" "Let me help you!"

92. "Stop cursing" "Fuck you"

93. "You're cute when you blush"

94."Are - are you jealous?"

95. "What are you doing?" "My best"

96. "Puppy dog eyes don't work on- Fine"

97. "Are you okay?" "I wanna be"

98. "I won this for you"

99. "It's watching me" "What is" "That plushie"

100. "I'm coming to get you, okay? Just stay there"

101. "If we get out of here alive, I'm gonna kill you"

102. "Come in, lunch is ready"

103. "I'm gonna try to lose a few pounds" "Please don't your stomach is the comfiest pillow"

104. "I've been waiting for you for over 6 hours"

105. "Hey, weird question, but why is the kitchen on fire?"

106. "Mmm nope, it's naptime"

107. "Did you eat my leftovers?"

108. "Wow! I was not prepared for that"

109. *Sees a moose* "That's a weird looking cow"

110. "Hello, my love" "What's up fucker"

111. "Don't make me be alone again"

112. "Oh, my apologies, I didn't realize you ruled the world"

113. "You get super clingy when you're drunk"

114. "I can't believe you fell for that"

115. "What the hell is that?" "That's my new best friend"

116. "I hate that I'm still in love with you"

117. "You are gorgeous, love, don't ever doubt that"

118. "I never wanna let you go"

119. "You make me feel all warm inside"

120. "Just go to sleep darling, I'll be right here when you wake up"

121. "C'mere, you can sit on my lap until I'm done working"

122. "You're the best pillow"

123. "Stop messing with your IV"

124. "I thought you were gone" "You can't get rid of me that easily"

125. "It should've been me"

126. "Kiss me"

127. "Open this door before I break it down"

128. "Were you ever gonna tell me?"

129. "I saw that. You just checked me out"

130. "Nothing could make me stop loving you"

131. "I'm not special. I'm quite boring, really"

132. "Feels good, huh?"

133. "You're an angel"

134. "Did you just smack my butt with a rubber chicken?"

135. "Do you think we should just stop... this"

136. "Do you really believe that"

137. "It'd make sense why you like her more than me. I mean, she's smarter, prettier, funnier, she's perfect"

138. "Do you miss him?" "He absolutely shattered me" "But do you miss him?" "Yes"

139. "I want an answer, damn it!"

140. "Do you regret it?"

141. "This is why we can't have nice things"

142. "I never stood a chance, did I?"

143. "You broke my heart and all you can say is sorry?"

144. "You don't have to hide anymore"

145. "You never cease to amaze me"

146. "See you in the next life, my love"

147. "Are you even listening to me right now?!"

148. "I can't do this anymore"

149. "This was a mistake"

150. "Shut up! Just - Just shut up!"

151. "You deserve so much better"

152. "Whose ass do I have to kick?"

153. "I worked so hard to be where I am now and I'm not gonna let someone take that away from me"

154. "Pack your shit and go"

155. "You'll be the death of me"

156. "I don't need protecting"

157. "I am fully convinced you never graduated kindergarten"

158. "Go then, leave! See if I care!'

159. "If you haven't noticed, I'm fucked up"

160. "You reek of alcohol"

161. "Don't talk, keep your strength"

162. "I broke my rules for you"

163. "She may seem like rainbows and sunshine, but I bet behind closed doors she's latex and whips"

164. "How bad do you want to find out?"

165. "You look great in my shirt"

166. "You'll regret this when you're sober"

167. "You look cute with bed head"

168."Mmmm, you're warm"

169. "It was only a nightmare"

170. "It's not bad to cry. In fact, I think it makes a person stronger"

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

Text

What Rhymes With “AY”? Warning: This survey has 114 questions

1. Do you enjoy listening to reggae music? I haven’t listened to much reggae music.

2. Have you ever rolled in hay before? No. I’m actually allergic.

3. Has anyone ever broken a promise they made? Of course.

4. Last time you went to a café, what did you order? Coffee.

5. Have you ever been to a matinee performance before? No.

6. Would you like a chance to ride in Santa’s sleigh? Why or why not? Would it be like the one in The Santa Clause that had a hot chocolate and cookie dispenser? ha. Swap the hot chocolate with coffee, though.

7. Have you ever taken ballet lessons before? How about any other type of dance lessons? No. That was actually something I wished I could do when I was a kid and in high school. I thought the dance team was cool.

8. Do you own any sexy lingerie? Nope.

9. Have you ever caught a bouquet of flowers at a wedding before? Nope.

10. Do you know how to do the Whip/Nae Nae? I do, actually.

11. Have you ever played croquet before? Nope.

12. Has a horse ever neighed at you before? No.

13. How much do you weigh? I’m not exactly sure, but I am definitely underweight.

14. Do you ever wear a beret? No.

15. When’s the last time you’ve been to a buffet? Back in February. There was a breakfast buffet at Disneyland where you got to visit with various characters while you ate. It was cute.

16. Have you ever attended a cabaret? No.

17. Have you ever eaten at Swiss Chalet? No. Never even heard of it.

18. Do you know how to crochet? How about doing macrame? No.

19. Do you have a duvet on your bed? No.

20. What was the last thing that ricocheted off of a surface? My phone did.

21. What do you put on your ice cream sundaes? I’m good with just vanilla ice cream and strawberry syrup, but sometimes I’ll add chocolate syrup as well. Bananas and whip cream are also great additions. Wow, it’s been yearsss since I’ve had one but that sounds really good right now.

22. Have you ever woken up to the “Reveille” bugle wake-up call at summer camp? No. I’ve never been to summer camp.

23. What is your favorite entrée to order at your favorite restaurant? My favorite restaurant is Wingstop and I always get the garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings.

24. Is crème brulee your favorite dessert? I don’t like actual creme brulee, but I like the creme brulee latte at Starbucks that they offer in the winter.

25. Do you know anyone who wears a toupee? I don’t think so.

26. Have you ever made a soufflé before? Was it good? Nope. I like the spinach and artichoke breakfast souffle from Panera, though.

27. Do you prefer ice cream or sorbet? Ice cream.

28. Do you know anyone named Renee, Jay, Clay, or Ray? I know someone whose middle name is Renee if that counts, and I also know a Jay and a Ray.

29. Have you ever had café au lait? Yes.

30. Have you ever gone to a restaurant called “Chez ______”? No.

31. Hey, how’s it going? It’s almost 730AM I should be going to sleep. My medicine I took a bit ago is making me feel a little nauseous, too, cause I took it on an empty stomach. That wouldn’t have been a problem if I just went to bed, but nooo. :/

32. When’s the last time you wore a lei? It’s been several years.

33. Did you obey your parents when you were younger? Yes.

34. Who do you want to hunt down like prey? No one.

35. Have you ever had whey before? No.

36. What message would you like to convey to someone right now? Nothing at the moment.

37. Whose survey did you take last? I don’t know who made it.

38. Have you ever been to a bay before? Yes.

39. Do you have a bae? “Or nah.” Ha, old Vine reference. Anyway, no, I do not.

40. What’s your favorite day of the week? They’re all the same to me, really, since I’m not in school nor do I have a job.

41. Have you ever had to read “The Cay”? Nope. That title doesn’t ring a bell.

42. Are you feeling okay? I’m feeling tired, hot, and kind of nauseous.

43. Do you know anyone who is gay? Yeah, a few people.

44. Do you like the acting of Tina Fey? Sure.

45. Have you ever listened to The Fray? Yes, I like a few of their songs.

46. Do you have any frayed clothing? No.

47. Do you prefer bluebirds or bluejays? Bluebirds.

48. Is May your favorite month? No. I only like saying, “It’s gonna be May” haha. You know, the NSYNC/Justin Timberlake meme.

49. May I ask you some more questions? Sure.

50. Have you ever voted “nay” to anything before? What? Yeah. I was a board member for a club in college and there were things we voted on.

51. Have you ever wanted to make someone pay for something that they did? I’m not a revengeful person.

52. Do you ever just lay around all day? That’s all I pretty much do everyday.

53. Are you a happy little frickin’ ray of sunshine? No. I’m a little black raincloud.

54. Is there something that you would like to say to someone? “There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don’t know howwww.”

55. When’s the last time that you were so excited that you exclaimed (or at least thought) “yay!” ? I said that the other night when my brother said he was making his bomb spaghetti. haha.

56. Have you ever felt like you’ve lost your way? I’ve been feeling that way for the past few years.

57. Do you ever wish that people would just go away? lol I’ve felt that way in some situations.

58. Have you heard an animal bray before? What animal was it? Yeah, a donkey.

59. What’s the last thing that you made out of clay? Nothing.

60. Are you starting to go gray? I’ve found a few here and there. D: It was like the minute I turned 30 I found my first one, ha.

61. Are you feeling okay right now? No. I still feel how I felt earlier when you asked how it was goin’. :/

62. Do you pray? How often? Yes, but not nearly as much as I ought to.

63. What’s the best play you’ve seen before? The Phantom of the Opera.

64. What did you like to play with when you were younger? I was obsessed Barbies, I could play for hours. I also liked playing house and school.

65. Do you know how to sashay? “Sashay away.”

66. Would you like to slay dragons? Nah. I wouldn’t want to mess with a dragon.

67. Have you gotten your pets spayed? All my dogs were fixed/spayed. My doggo was spayed before we could take her home from the adoption shelter.

68. Have you ever begged someone to stay with you? Not begged, but I didn’t want them to leave.

69. Has the room ever started to sway before? I hateeee that feeling.

70. When’s the last time you ate a meal on a tray? Uhhh. I don’t recall.

71. Do you know how to do math arrays? You’re speaking math so no.

72. Have you ever experienced a delay of any sort? Yeah.

73. Do you have any tooth decay? No.

74. When’s the last time you wrote an essay? What was it about? Back when I was still in school, so it’s been 5 years now since the last time.

75. When’s the last time you competed in a relay race? I participated in a few wheelchair race events when I was a kid.

76. Have you ever wondered how you could ever repay someone? Yes. I wish I could spoil and take care of my mom one day for everything she has done and continues to do for me. She deserves so much.

77. What did you do today? So far just Tumblr, surveys, and listening to ASMR.

78. Would you ever take in a stray animal? We don’t really have room for another pet, but I’d want to help in some way. Once we had a stray dog wander in our backyard and we took care of him until we were able to find him a good home. We also once had a cat who often went into our backyard and she ended up having kittens, so we cared for them and found them all homes, including the mama.

79. What’s the last cleaning spray that you’ve used? Lysol disinfectant spray.

80. When’s the last time you splayed your fingers? I’ll do it right now.

81. Has your airway ever been blocked before? Yes. Such a scary, traumatizing experience. It’s why I can’t take pills now at all unless I can crush them.

82. Has anyone ever led you astray? In some ways.

83. When it’s hot out, do you sleep with blankets anyways? Noooo.

84. Have you ever felt betrayed? Yep. Not a nice feeling.

85. When’s the last time you listened to a DJ? My cousin’s quince a few years ago.

86. What’s the last unfortunate thing that happened, to your dismay? This pandemic.

87. When is payday? The 1st of the month (disability).

88. Do good moments or bad moments replay through your mind more often? My mind likes to dwell on all the bad stuff instead.

89. Do you prepay for anything? I typically like to pay all my bills at the same time each month instead of waiting until the day each of them are due.

90. Have you ever walked on a runway before? No.

91. Do you know a runaway? No.

92. Have you ever ridden the subway before? How about driven on the skyway? Nope.

93. Have you ever used an ashtray before? No.

94.How do you feel about public displays of affection? I don’t mind a little bit, like a quick kiss, hand holding, arms around each other, or a hug.

95. Where would you like to go for a getaway? I wish I could rent a beach house and have my own private beach area.

96. Do you do any gateway drugs? Some say weed is a gateway drug, but I personally never had any interest in try anything beyond that.

97. Have you ever felt like someone wasn’t meeting you halfway? Yes.

98. What were you doing at midday? I’ll be sleeping.

99. Have you ever stopped midway through a survey before? Yeah, I did that with this one. I started it last night, but got too tired to finish it.

100. What’s your favorite holiday? Christmas.

101. Do you like to drive on the highway/thruway? I don’t drive, but yeah I prefer taking the highway over driving through town and hitting all the red lights.

102. Have you ever put something on layaway before? I haven’t, personally, but I’ve gone shopping with my mom and added stuff of my own along with her’s that she put on layaway.

103. Have you ever been cornered in an alleyway? No.

104. When is your birthday? July 28th.

105. Do you know anyone who was a castaway? No.

106. How long is your workday? I don’t have a job.

107. What do you typically do on the weekdays? I do the same things everyday.

108. Is there a walkway or a pathway to your front door? Yeah.

109. What do you want to be someday? A functioning adult.

110. What is something that you do everyday? Drink coffee.

111. Do you park in your driveway? Do you even have a driveway? I don’t have a car, but yeah my house has a driveway that my parent’s use for their cars.

112. Have you ever won a giveaway? Yes.

113. How important is foreplay? I wouldn’t know.

114. Hooray! You’ve made it to the end! What are you going to do now? Eat my ramen. I was waiting for it to cool a bit.

[a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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honeybee-babe · 5 years

Text

“Don’t Leave Me” OR: One is the Sickliest Number Part 2/2

@laimerrylin Here’s part 2!!! Get ready for some guilty caring Diego emotional whump, and some serious Luther whumpity-whump-whump :) :)

WARNING: Heavy on the sneeze content so if that makes you uncomfortable sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

When Diego looked into the infirmary again, he was relieved to see that Luther had released Allison’s wrist and was once again relaxed on the table. And instead of leaving like she’d originally planned, Allison had stayed, and she was squeezing Luther’s hand gently.

“Th-hih! Thanks, Alliso-heh... Oh no.” Luther brought a gloveless hand up to his face and turned away from Allison as his breath hitched wildly. “Huh….huh...hihhih! Hihhuhh’NGKTchuh-hih! Hihhih’hnkgt-gnkt-ih-NGKT'chuh! Ow.” He winced and brought his hands up to his temples.

“Bless you! And how many times do I have to tell you to stop holding them in like that? You just make it hurt more.” Allison clicked her tongue, and Luther just shrugged his shoulders.

“Hurts anyway,” he rasped, and Allison winced; the congestion in his voice was much thicker than it had been mere moments ago.

“Oof. I think Mom was right, sounds like you might be getting another sinus infection. Holding back isn’t gonna do you any good, Lu.”

Luther just grumbled in response, and turned away from her to curl into the fetal position, but quickly returned to his original position when he found there wasn’t enough room on the operating table for him to do that.

“I hate the infirmary. I want my bed.”

“Here,” Allison ducked into the supply closet and pulled out two extra pillows, then gently lifted his head to slide them behind him. He shifted to get more comfortable and gave her a little half smile. “Isn’t that better?”

“Mmm,” Luther hummed in agreement, closing his eyes and finally appearing somewhat at peace. After a few seconds, though, his face crumbled, eyebrows raising and chest rising as his breath hitched wildly. “Huh….Hih? Hihhhih! HAH!....uhh.” his chest deflated with the false start, only to immediately rise again with a hitchy breath. “Hihhih’nGKT-ih’KGT-hhn’KGTchiew!” he jolted upright with each explosion. Afterwards he fell back onto the pillows with a sigh.

“Bless you, here.” Allison handed Luther some tissues, which he immediately brought up to his face with another hitching breath.

“Th-hih!” He finally opened his eyes and shot Allison a pitiful look. “Ugh, not agai-hihheh! Huh...hih!....uhhh...hihhihhih! Hh’nGXt!-ow. Hih! HhrESCHhh’TSCHiew! Hah! Hhhr’ENGTSHIEW! Hihh!.... Ihhhh? Uhh.” He slumped back onto the pillows and scrubbed at his nose with the tissues, face still contorted in pain. “I told you it was still gonna hurt.” Allison brought a hand to Luther’s face and pinched the tissues over his nose for him.

“Blow, you need it.” Luther dropped his hands to his sides with a groan but didn’t protest. Diego, still standing in the doorway, had to hold his breath to keep from laughing. But the laugh died down anyway when he heard how unproductive the nose-blow was, barely any sound coming out. Luther shook his head with a little whimper and turned his head to the side as Allison went full Mom-mode and inspected the contents of his used tissues.

“Yup. Someone’s got a sinus infection.”

“Again? Ugh.”

“Well if you didn’t stifle your sneezes into oblivion maybe you wouldn’t get them so often.” Luther just huffed in response and shut his eyes as a violent shiver coursed its way through his body. Allison looked up at the monitor, which read 105.1. “I can’t believe you’ve been sick for three days and didn’t say anything. And look where we are now. Luther, you need to tell us these things. You could have really hurt yourself.”

“Well Mom says I’m not contagious anymore, so you can all stop freaking out.”

“How can you expect us not to freak out when you’re this sick?”

“But Klaus is okay.” He said it earnestly and not with a hint of sarcasm. Allison heaved a sigh and touched his face, only pulling back when he winced a bit.

“Don’t let Diego get to you.”

The sibling in question, who was still watching from the doorway, quirked up a brow at the mention of his name.

“But he’s right. I always get Klaus sick.”

“He’s gotten you sick too.”

“So what?”

“Luther, your health is important to us, too.” Luther just shrugged.

“Not to Diego.”

Allison wasn’t really sure how to comfort him. Because, he was right. Diego was borderline obsessive over Klaus’ health, having seen him at death’s door on multiple occasions over the years when everyone else had forgotten about him. anything that posed a harm to Klaus, Diego treated like a threat. But given his longstanding issues with Luther, he was exceptionally harsh, and at times just downright mean. He’d yell at him for putting Klaus at risk, and even accused him at times of trying to get Klaus sick. Allison couldn’t count on one hand the amount of times Diego had literally made Luther cry; granted, that wasn’t hard when he was sick. Luther became very emotional when he had a fever, and unfortunately, he was prone to pretty high fevers given his condition.

“Luther,” she started, not really knowing how she’d finish her sentence, “that’s not true. Diego is just overprotective of Klaus, and I think he kinda gets tunnel vision when Klaus is in danger. I think he might have seen him go through some pretty rough stuff. I don’t know, he doesn’t talk about it. But it’s kinda like how I am with Claire,” Allison explained. “It’s like that one person is the only one who matters--”

“Allison, stop,” Luther cut in, tone agitated. “Stop trying to make it better. Diego hates me and my stupid immune system is no exception. He thinks it’s funny, I mean I can’t even sneeze without him laughing about it. He doesn’t care when I get sick, because he doesn’t care about me.”

“Luther, that’s not--”

“No, it is true, stop trying to deny it. And I’m not mad about it, it’s just a fact, he’s always hated me. How does he act when Claire gets sick? Or literally anyone else.”

Allison was silent. It was true, Diego was much kinder to the rest of the siblings when they were sick, even though they rarely got as sick as Luther and Klaus did frequently.

“See, you know I’m right. He doesn’t give a shit about me,” his voice was starting to crack. “Whatever, I don’t need him anyway.” Luther finished his sentence and immediately broke into a harsh (and very productive) coughing fit.

“I’m putting you on vocal rest, okay?” Allison said more to end the conversation than anything else, and rubbed his arm. Luther nodded his head in reluctant agreement, afraid of making even the smallest noncommittal noise. He looked utterly exhausted. “And some actual rest would do you good, too.”

He closed his eyes, and she bent down to kiss his forehead.

“I know you guys have fought a lot, Luther,” Allison whispered. “But I really don’t think this is about you. It’s just, him and Klaus have been through a lot…. But he’s getting better. Just give him some time.”

She sat back down at his side, and after a few moments, the sound of his congested snores filled the room.

Allison checked her watch, looked down at Luther one last time, and then quietly left the room. She held her phone up to her ear, and she was so focused on calling Claire that she didn’t notice Diego in the doorway, looking like he’d suddenly peaked inside Klaus’ brain and had, literally, just seen a ghost.

What Luther and Allison didn’t know was that his aggression towards Luther didn’t just stem from his over-protectiveness for Klaus. It was true that Diego and Luther never really got along, but Diego had, in fact, never stopped loving his brother, and he didn’t care more about Klaus. It was just easier for him to show that he cared for Klaus. He’d always seen him (affectionately) as the weak link, in need of protection. Luther had never seemed to need any help with anything growing up and Diego had honestly resented him for it.

But things had changed. And when Luther started to get sick more often, if he was honest, Diego had called it bad karma and laughed it off. But as the siblings became closer, and Luther in particular opened up more to Diego about certain things only the two of them could really understand, Diego had grown to appreciate his brother. In truth, he’d always cared about Luther deep down, but he was only just now starting to allow those feelings of affection to surface. And after watching him push through months on end of high fevers and sinus infections, he was just as worried and overprotective of him as he was for Klaus.

But he couldn’t show it in the same way. Diego’s love language with Klaus was definitely Acts of Service. He fell into the role of caretaker and protector easily with him. With Luther, his love language really should have been Words of Affirmation, but instead it was more Yelling and Insults. It was just the only way he knew how to communicate with him. And it was better to communicate with him than to ignore him, like they’d ignored each other for years.

But after hearing Luther open up to Allison, Diego knew it wasn’t good enough.

And he knew Luther probably couldn’t hear, but he had to be with him right now, even if it was for the purely selfish desire of getting this off his chest.

“Hey, Big Boy?” he asked loudly, testing the waters, before he stepped cautiously into the room. “Monkey Man? Luther?” He sat down in the chair beside the operating table and put a hand on Luther’s arm, where he’d unconsciously put it earlier when he saw him flinch away from Grace. “Brother?”

Luther “responded” with a particularly grumbly snore, and Diego couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Hey, don’t scare me like that again,” he whispered. And then, as if to spite him, the monitor beeped, and Diego’s head snapped up at the speed of light to read it: 105 even. Diego should have been relieved that it had dropped more, but instead, it just reminded him of how high it had been before, and how it was still so dangerously an hour later. When he’d walked into Luther’s room that morning to check on his “cold” (as Five had called it), he’d instantly known something was wrong. He’d rushed over to check his fever, and when the thermometer read 106.3, Diego felt like he himself might get sick. And then he’d run out the door, screaming so loud for Grace that he felt like his lungs might collapse, even with his breathing power.

And now, sitting here in the infirmary with Luther, Diego tried to use said power, but it was no use. No amount of holding back could stop his chest from heaving.

“Luther, I’m s-so sorry for the way I’ve treated you,” he whispered. “I know I don’t show it but I-I hate to see you so sick. It’s j-j-just wrong.” That was when the tears started to flood his eyes. He clenched his jaw to keep them at bay. “I-it makes sense that Klaus needs me to take care of him, h-he’s always the weak one.” An oversimplification, but Diego was too busy losing his battle against the tears that were now streaming down his face to correct himself. “A-and I’ve seen him so sick.” He shuddered at the memories, which only seemed to make him cry more. “B-but you were always so s-sss-strong, you were supposed to p-protect us. A-and I know that’s just what Dad w-wanted from you, but that’s how I always saw you. I-I never realized you m-m-might be hurting too.”

Diego didn’t realize, but at some point he’d put his hand on Luther’s arm, in the same spot where he’d held it earlier.

“A-and y-your shit immune system just makes me so fucking mad. W-with Klaus I can at least say it’s due in part to his decisions. But with you it if I acknowledge how sick you are I-I h-have to,” he took a deep breath to steady himself and wiped the tears from his eyes. “I have to a-acknowledge what Dad d-d-did to you… and how n-n-none of us were there all those y-years. And how I went so long w-w-wishing harm on y-you and I… I was wrong.”

Tentatively, Diego lifted his shaky hand from Luther’s arm and cupped it around his brother’s cheek.

“Y-you’re my brother, too, a-and I love you. If I could s-sw-switch places with you right now, I’d d-do it in a heartbeat.”

It took a few minutes, but Diego’s tears finally died down. He borrowed some of Luther’s tissues to clean himself up. When he had finally composed himself, he shook his Luther’ shoulder a bit to ensure he was still asleep, before bending down and pressing a quick kiss to his clammy forehead.

“I know it’s not an excuse, but I’m trying.”

He stayed in the infirmary for an hour, watching the monitors as Luther’s fever steadily dropped down to 103.4 in his sleep. That was the last thing Diego saw before he fell asleep too.

Shortly afterwards, Luther started to wake up. He blinked at his surroundings for a few moments, trying to remember the events of the morning, as well as the strange but comfortable weight on his right side. Finally, things came into focus, and he remembered all of it with a shudder. His siblings were never going to let him live this down. Especially not--

Luther zeroed in on the figure on his right, which he soon identified as Diego. Sitting in a chair pulled up to Luther’s side, snoring, body slumped over the operating table so he could use Luther’s arm as a pillow.

Despite how shitty he was still feeling, a tired little smile crossed Luther’s face.

“Thanks for staying,” he rasped, and lay back into his pillows again, closing his eyes. “Love you, too.”

#sick luther #diego hargreeves #luther hargreeves #tua fanfic #tua #umbrella academy #umbrella academy fanfiction #luther whump #luther snz #allison hargreeves #did not edit sorry guys

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motherfucker-somewhat-limited · 5 years

Note

1: Name

Sarah

2: Age

3: Fears

Everything, I have anxiety

4: 3 things I love

Dogs, weird movies, sunsets over water

5: 4 turns on

Long hair, facial piercings, good sense of humor, back muscles

6: 4 turns off

Poor hygiene, rude to service workers, adults who are still obsessed with Disney to the point where they make it a personality trait, Trump supporters (or the equivalent in other countries)

7: My best friend

@wanderingwondererofthings

8: Sexual orientation

Bi? I think? IDK not straight tho

9: My best first date

I’ve only ever been on one date in my life and the dude ghosted me afterward which turned out to be a blessing bc it was not a good time in my life to try to start a relationship

10: How tall am I

5′2″

11: What do I miss

Mental stability

12: What time were I born

3:45 am or thereabouts

13: Favourite color

black

14: Do I have a crush

celebrity crushes but I don’t really count those

15: Favourite quote

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

16: Favourite place

bundled up under a heap of blankets by myself in a dark room with good snacks and a good book/movie

17: Favourite food

chocolate

18: Do I use sarcasm

do i

19: What am I listening to right now

my housemate doing laundry

20: First thing I notice in new person

what they’re wearing

21: Shoe size

womens 7

22: Eye color

brown

23: Hair color

brown

24: Favourite style of clothing

love that goth shit

25: Ever done a prank call?

not that i can remember

26: Meaning behind my URL

adam darski’s true form

27: Favourite movie

Ink (2009) dir. jamin winans

28: Favourite song

UHHHHHHHHHHH

29: Favourite band

Eluveitie

30: How I feel right now

like shit lol

31: Someone I love

My friends

32: My current relationship status

single

33: My relationship with my parents

it’s good and i’m very grateful

34: Favourite holiday

the day after halloween when all the candy goes on sale

35: Tattoos and piercing I have

none

36: Tattoos and piercings I want

seriously considering getting my eyebrow pierced soon. if I ever cut my hair short i’ll pierce my ears

37: The reason I joined Tumblr

to follow an art blog that made amazing JTHM fan art

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

what ex

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

yeah from my mom

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

yeah it was my mom

41: When did I last hold hands?

yesterday with my grandma

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

takes me well over an hour to actually get up but then like 3o minutes tops

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

44: Where am I right now?

in my room

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

i’ve never been that drunk because i hate hangovers

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

reasonable level unless i’m at a concert

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

not anymore

48: Am I excited for anything?

sexy eggman is coming to san francisco

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

50: How often do I wear a fake smile?

basically whenever i have to talk to strangers

51: When was the last time I hugged someone?

yesterday

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

my mom is allowed to kiss other people it’s okay

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

i don’t think so?

54: What is something I disliked about today?

i’m tired of being tired

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

my soulmate

56: What do I think about most?

spirals of existential dread

57: What’s my strangest talent?

I have no talents lol

58: Do I have any strange phobias?

going down stairs. i’m fine going up them but going down them freaks me out

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

depends on my mood and whether or not i’m ugly that day

60: What was the last lie I told?

“I’m okay”

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

In person or don’t fucking talk to me

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes and yes

63: Do I believe in magic?

idk. i believe there’s things that happen that we can’t explain yet so maybe that’s magic

64: Do I believe in luck?

i believe in good chances

65: What’s the weather like right now?

dark

66: What was the last book I’ve read?

The Habitation of the Blessed by Catherynne Valente

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

yes as long as i don’t have a headache or stomachache

68: Do I have any nicknames?

just dumb shit my mom calls me

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

worst acute injury was the time i tripped onto an outdoor heater in kindergarten and burned the shit out of my hand. i also have a stress fracture in my spine that will never heal from gymnastics but that happened over a matter of years

70: Do I spend money or save it?

i try to save but i spend a little too much

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

with a tongue? yes. with my tongue? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

my fluffy pillow

73: Favourite animal?

take a wild fucking guess

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

trying unsuccessfully to sleep

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

Columbus

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

That Time of the Month by Harley Poe

77: How can you win my heart?

be a dog

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

ceci n’est pas un corps

79: What is my favorite word?

sussuration or cathedral

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

this is the internet equivalent of the judgment of paris

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

eat the rich

82: Do I have any relatives in jail?

not currently

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

shapeshifting bitch

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

i’ll say anything on the internet i don’t give a shit

85: What is my current desktop picture?

86: Had sex?

87: Bought condoms?

88: Gotten pregnant?

89: Failed a class?

yeah, fuck ochem

90: Kissed a boy?

91: Kissed a girl?

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

93: Had job?

i’ve got one right now

94: Left the house without my wallet?

yeah lol

95: Bullied someone on the internet?

96: Had sex in public?

97: Played on a sports team?

i ran track for a couple years as a kid

98: Smoked weed?

yup

99: Did drugs?

100: Smoked cigarettes?

ew no

101: Drank alcohol?

yuppers

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

103: Been overweight?

104: Been underweight?

yes

105: Been to a wedding?

yes

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

only 5?

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

only 5??

108: Been outside my home country?

yes

109: Gotten my heart broken?

yes but not romantically

110: Been to a professional sports game?

many

111: Broken a bone?

nope

112: Cut myself?

not on purpose

113: Been to prom?

yeah and it sucked and i wish i hadn’t gone

114: Been in airplane?

yes

115: Fly by helicopter?

no but I want to

116: What concerts have I been to?

a multitude

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yeah lol

118: Learned another language?

can I give this one a half a yes?

119: Wore make up?

yup

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

121: Had oral sex?

122: Dyed my hair?

yes

123: Voted in a presidential election?

yes

124: Rode in an ambulance?

125: Had a surgery?

do wisdom teeth count?

126: Met someone famous?

yup, holla atcha doug jones

127: Stalked someone on a social network?

no, i don’t care that much

128: Peed outside?

who hasn’t?

129: Been fishing?

130: Helped with charity?

i’ve donated some money

131: Been rejected by a crush?

yeah but a) I never actually asked him out, b) we were 12, and c) turns out he’s gay so like i’m not made about it

132: Broken a mirror?

133: What do I want for birthday?

a new laptop

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

why would i want kids

135: Was I named after anyone?

my great uncle and great grandmother

136: Do I like my handwriting?

i have no opinion on it

137: What was my favourite toy as a child?

legos or something similar you can build with

138: Favourite Tv Show?

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

139: Where do I want to live when older?

somewhere near the ocean

140: Play any musical instrument?

i wish

141: One of my scars, how did I get it?

i only have acne scars and those are pretty self-explanatory

142: Favourite pizza toping?

sausage, bell pepper, and onion

143: Am I afraid of the dark?

144: Am I afraid of heights?

sometimes

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

no, i’m a good girl

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end

yeah, FUCK OCHEM

147: What I’m really bad at

being a functioning human adult person

148: What my greatest achievments are

not killing myself in college

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

idk man i get upset by everything even when it’s not mean

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

pay off my friends’ and family’s debts, set aside a big chunk of money for grad school, maybe get my own place depending on how much is left

151: What do I like about myself

i have nice hair

152: My closest Tumblr friend

idk

153: Something I fantasise about

what don’t i fantasize about

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?

hey demons come and get y’all juice

#asks

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