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magics-neptunes-things · 2 months

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Good 4 U

Hello there!

I hope you’re all great. This story is just out of my imagination, but enjoy anyway, I guess ♥ Also Caitlin and Lia are always a thing in this word.

TW: Reader! Wälti, no other I think.

PART 2 | PART 3

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Unlike your older sister Lia, you are not wise and quiet. You have trouble concentrating and you aren't necessarily interested in the idea of landing somewhere. You and Lia don’t have the same character, but that never stopped you from loving each other a lot. You’d do anything for your older sister who’s only 10 months older than you. And you know she would do anything in return for you. You and her were almost like twins and even if you wasn't planned, you parents always loved you the way they love Lia.

You travel all the time, leaving one place when you're getting tired to visit another corner of the world. You are sociable and have no trouble making contacts with anyone, to find a job or to make new friends. You are lucky to be able to remember the different languages in the countries you visit. You speak German from birth, you are bilingual in English and you talk other new languages like spanish or italian.

For now, you are in London with your sister for a week. The last time you stayed in London with Lia was last year when her life was a little more complicated than now. This time, you decided to come to see her just because you missed her and wanted to be with her for her birthday. You contacted Leah to help you surprise her, and you congratulate yourself for filming Lia's reaction when you walked into her living room following Leah.

When Lia told you about a karaoke night with her friends, most of them from Arsenal, you didn't hesitate a single second before accepting. You already know Caitlin obviously and Leah, who you met when she came in Switzerland last year. You met some of the girls last time you came in London, but you don't know all of them. This is a good occasion to met them.

Despite the time set at 9pm, not everyone arrived on time but this didn't prevent the people already present from starting to have fun. You’ve already shared a song with Steph and another with Leah. And you’re choosing the song you’re going to sing with Lia when Katie finally makes her appearance in the establishment.

When the music started, Katie was greeting everyone and sat at one of the tables surrounded by a bench, reserved for the night.

She's sitting with Caitlin, Leah, Kyra and Alessia when her gaze mechanically refers to you when you start singing. And her gesture stops immediately when she looks at you, her arm halfway between her mouth and the table as she was getting ready to drink.

"You alright mate?" laughs Kyra

"Who’s the girl with Wally?" Katie asks, blinking.

"Her little sister. Why?" asks Leah, bowing her eyebrow.

But Katie doesn’t answer, completely hypnotized by you. She just can’t take her eyes off you, your face, your body and anything else that can be part of you.

"It's Wally’s sister?" ended up repeating Katie before glancing at Caitlin. "Damn, you’re shagging the wrong Wälti, Caitlin."

"You’re disgusting" Caitlin says, rolling her eyes.

Leah laughs softly next to Katie and the Irish girl seems to reminding something. She turns herself a little to look at Leah before talking.

"Wait, this is the sister you met last year?"

"Yes?" answer a frowning Leah.

"And you didn't try anything with her?"

Katie’s tone let perfectly passes the disbelief she feels at this idea. But Leah rolls her eyes again.

"She’s Lia’s little sister. She would have killed me. And she’ll kill you too if you try anything with her"

Katie responds with a throat sound before finally bringing her drink to her lips. And from then on, she won’t leave you until your song is finished. Katie recognized Olivia Rodrigo’s song "Good 4 u" and she briefly wonders if it means anything to you and Lia.

When the song ends, Lia approaches the table where Katie is installed while you take the opportunity to go to the toilet. If Caitlin greets your sister with a big smile, making her sit on her lap, Leah can’t help but drop the information to Lia.

"Your sister caught Katie’s eyes" Leah announces with a big smile.

This causes a growl from Katie who hoped to try a discreet approach with you and a frown from Lia, who quickly takes off from Caitlin to lean towards Katie.

"Stay away from her Katie, I’m not kidding"

Katie raises both hands as a sign of abandonment, not without rolling her eyes.

"Looks like I’m the devil in person" Katie growls before finishing her drink.

"She was hurt once and since then has been traveling around the world. I want to see her again before Christmas 2025."

"Okay, okay, I get it" sighs gently, Katie. "I’ll get myself a drink."

After asking if anyone wanted something, Katie gets up to order herself a drink, deciding to go to the other side to have less to wait. And Lia will not be able to tell her anything, because it's finally you who approaches her first. You come to order yourself a drink too and you have no trouble recognizing the teammate of your big sister, that you watch play as soon as you can.

"You're Katie, right? I'm Y/N, Lia's sister" you smile before reaching out to greet her.

"Yes, that's me. Nice to meet ya" Katie grins, taking your hand in hers, squeezing it maybe a little to long.

Your eyes cross and you find yourself becoming aware of the beauty of the young woman who stands before you. You first notice her blue eyes and then her smile that you quickly find mesmerizing.

You are interrupted in your moment by the server who finally takes your orders. And, while Katie passes her command, you discreetly let your gaze slide on her forms. How did you not realize before how breathtaking she was?

"Lia told me you travel a lot" Katie says, turning to you to resume your conversation.

"Oh, yes… I just came back from New Zealand" you explain with a smile, before starting on an explanation of your last trip.

The minutes pass quickly as you chat with her and then you find yourself interested in her and her life. There’s something about Katie that hypnotizes you and you could honestly spend hours listening to her and laughing at what she’s telling you. You like her humor, the sound of her voice and it’s a little destabilizing for you to find yourself so impacted by someone so quickly.

"Do you want to get some fresh air?" Katie says after realizing you’ve been talking for a while.

You accept with pleasure and you follow her on the outdoor terrace of the establishment, Katie seems to know this place very well. Which is probably not surprising since Lia told you they come often.

"Here" simply makes Katie by dropping her jacket on your bare arms after seeing you shiver.

"Thank you" you answer with a sincere smile.

You move a little away from the entrance to not be in the way and you lean against a wall looking up to look at the stars. However, you gently frown when you see that they are not visible. You forgot they’re hard to see from central London.

"When are you leaving again?" asks Katie while looking at you.

You leave the sky with your eyes to carry them over her before gently shrugging your shoulders with a smile.

"I haven’t decided yet. Why?"

"I was wondering if you would give me your phone number so we could meet again, before you leave."

You bite your lip briefly while observing her. You are not sure if it's a good idea, you will probably leave soon and you know that it would probably not lead to much. But you’d be lying if you said the Irish girl didn’t tease your curiosity.

"Okay" you end up answering before you pick up her phone and put your number on it.

A big smile is born on Katie’s face and you don’t know her enough yet to realize that it’s a frank smile and not the sufficient smile she likes to have to provoke her opponents. Her phone in her pocket, Katie settles next to you, leaning against the wall like you.

"Do you like to look at the stars?" asked Katie.

"It’s probably one of the things I prefer to do" you admit without hesitation. "But it’s difficult from here"

"I know a place where they can be seen. You want to go see?"

********

"I just ran into Katie running away with a pretty blonde" laughs Victoria who just arrived while sitting at Lia’s table.

"I’m going to kill her" the Swiss woman announces, noting that you have also disappeared.

Kyra’s sigh sound out at the same time as Leah’s facepalm. Caitlin masks her amused smile behind Lia’s head, but she is nevertheless surprised by Alessia who smiles back at her.

********

You suspect a little the annoyance that Lia must feel and you feel in spite of yourself a slight guilt at the idea of not enjoying her birthday party with her. But you take a look at Katie after you get out of her car and you quickly realize that she’s genuinely happy to show you this place.

"What’s your favorite constellation?" Katie asks you when you’re both sitting in the grass.

"Aquila" you answer by pointing to the place in the sky where it is. "And you?"

"I didn’t have one until now, but it could become my favorite" Katie replies with a smirk.

You laugh slowly and you turn your head in her direction, to see that Katie rolled to the side and that she’s looking at you. You feel yourself blushed and you’re pretty glad it’s dark and Katie can’t see it. But you don’t let her out of your sight and you decide to play her game.

"What is your astrological sign?" you ask.

"Virgo"

"Well maybe my favorite constellation is going to be Virgo then"

Katie laughs softlyand, taking a sudden aspiration, you gently take her hand in yours. Katie lets you and you find that her skin is pleasantly warm and soft against yours. You shift your attention to the sky above you, feeling Katie’s gaze stay on you. But it doesn’t bother you, it’s not the kind of heavy look that makes you uncomfortable. You feel good and safe with her, despite what Lia seems to think.

It’s almost two o'clock in the morning when Katie takes you home to your sister, whose keys you have so you can get in and out whenever you want.

"I hope I’m not interrupting a private celebration" you grin maliciously at Katie, who insisted on accompanying you to the front door.

"If there is going to be a celebration tonight it will probably be to celebrate my death" laughs Katie before explaining, when you turn an interrogative look in her direction "I was not supposed to approach you tonight. Lia has warned me"

"Why did you do it then?" you ask curiously while searching through your purse while looking at it.

"Technically, it was you who approached me" Katie replies with a satisfied smile. "But I’m very happy about it."

You smile back at her and you probably look at each other for a few seconds too long, before you come out of your trance and regain your self-confidence.

"I’ll defend your cause, if you want" you joke softly.

"See me again and it will have been well worth it."

You smile again and bite your lip briefly. You really want to kiss her, but maybe it’s too early for that. You step forward and put a kiss on her cheek instead before backing away again and opening the door.

"Go home safely"

"I will" answers Katie with a smile. "Good night"

"Sweet dreams"

The house is empty when you enter and you assume that either Lia is not back yet, or she went to Caitlin’s. You go undress and remove your makeup and it's when you are writing to your sister to inform her that you came home when you receive a message from an unknown number.

From Unknow I came home safely. Sleep tight beautiful x

From You Sleep well too. We talk soon x

********

Lia looked at you with skepticism when you told her that nothing happened with Katie, unless looking at the stars and learning to know her. Since her breakup, Katie had a lot of fling and Lia obviously didn't want you to fall for the Irish girl before being ignored by her.

Katie and you wrote to each others a lot during the past days and you find yourself smiling every time she texted you. When she asked you on a date, you accepted with a second thought.

Katie take you to an Irish restaurant, she looked almost outraged to learn that you have never been to Ireland during your many travels. You had a great evening and when she brought you back you vaguely hoped for a kiss but Katie just gently kissed your cheek before smiling with affection. She then waited until you go inside to leave. Then you started texting each other almost all the day, every day.

From Katie ✨ u going to the game today?

From You I am :) why?

From Katie ✨ Would you let me take you for a brunch before ?

From You I would love to

From Katie ✨ Great. I'm taking you at 10 xx

You almost turned the cupboard in which you installed your clothes in your sister’s guest room to find a proper outfit. You ended up opting for a simple outfit, comfortable but nevertheless different from what you can wear every day. Once ready, you go to the kitchen, in which you find only Catlin in the company of her cup of coffee and a toast with…

"Vegemite?" you ask with a smirk

"Lia always has a jar for me in her cupboards" replies the Australian with amusement.

"How romantic" you laugh softly

You take a glass of water, realizing rather quickly that Caitlin observes you over the cup of coffee that she holds with two hands. Since she and Lia got together, the Australian has taken on the role of your big sister too. You obviously can’t compare the connection you have with her with the one you have with Lia, but you appreciate her enormously.

"Are you going out?"

"Yes" you just answer

"With Katie?"

You don't have time to respond with the positive or negative that Lia’s voice is heard behind you. Obviously she must appear when the name of the Irish is pronounced.

"What, Katie?" Lia asks, bowing her eyebrow.

"I'm going to a brunch with her" you explain softly with a sigh. "Look, don’t make that face, I know you don’t want anything but to protect me, but if it makes you happy… Nothing ever happened between us, if it turns out she’s not even interested in anything but friendship with me"

You gently shrug your shoulders and carefully avoid Lia’s gaze. You don’t necessarily want your older sister to see how depressed you are about this idea. But it's Caitlin who speaks again, although she's peacefully returned to reading her diary.

"Or she takes the time to do things right with you because you mean something to her" she points out without looking at you.

You frown thoughtfully at her, but Caitlin doesn’t add anything. Lia gets closer to you though, gently laying her hand on yours.

"What would make me happy is that you are too. I just want you to be happy and make sure no one can hurt you any more."

"I’ll be fine, Lia, I promise" you assure her with a little smile. "I learned from my mistakes"

Lia pout a little and when your phone vibrates in your pocket when Katie writes to you that she has arrived and that she waits for you, you take your big sister in your arms.

"I love you" you say before you kiss her cheek.

"I love you too. See you at the game?"

With a smile you nod before leaving the house. Your smile widens when you see Katie waiting for you, leaning against the front of her car.

"You look stunning" Katie smiles looking at your outfit.

"You’re not bad yourself"

Katie is dressed in her training kit, ready for the game and you find it strangely sexy. Unlike other times you have seen her, you don't hesitate to greet her with a hug and then let her take you by the hand to train you to the passenger door of the car.

The establishment that Katie has chosen is between Lia’s house and the stadium, the Irish girl explaining to you that it's a place that she loves and that has the advantage of not being too well known by the general public. It seems to have its habits and even if you don't necessarily appreciate the big smile with which the waitress welcomes Katie, you are quickly satisfied by the hand that she puts in your back to guide you to her usual table.

As always, the discussion is pleasant. You have to admit you did some research on Katie, but you feel like the Katie that people can see on the football field is different from the one you see every day. The Katie you know is sweet, attentive, considerate and charming. You have the impression that she really listens to you and that she seems particularly interested in what you tell her, no matter what it is.

And the butterflies that you have in the hollow of your belly when her fingers touch your hand while taking the salt are rather very pleasant. However, you regret not knowing if things are really shared or if Katie is only interested in friendship with you.

"Can I ask you a question?" asks Katie, her blue eyes watching you attentively over her cup of tea.

"Of course" you answer with a little smile.

"When she asked me not to come near you, Lia mentioned a romantic relationship that ended badly. I’m not asking you to tell me everything, but if you have any residual trauma or like that…"

Of course Lia mentioned your old relationship with Katie. On the other hand, you can’t blame her, after learning about the various deceptions of your ex-girlfriend, it was so painful that you never set foot in Switzerland again and you never saw your family again for a year. It apparently left your sister with trauma as well.

"As long as you don’t lie to me or hide things from me, it should be okay" you mumble and shrug.

Katie looks funny and you briefly get lost in your thoughts until the Irish woman gently takes your hand in hers. When you look up at her, she smiles softly at you, her eyes immensely sweet.

"No matter what happens, I will never. I promise"

You smile softly at her, losing yourself in her eyes. Katie changes the subject and when it’s time to leave for the stadium, you have the impression that the time has passed much too quickly.

"Do you mind if someone sees you get out of my car? There are often fans waiting for us in the parking lot, they cannot access it but they wait behind the gates. I can drop you off if you want" Katie asks when you’re about to arrive.

"I don’t care" you assure her by tapping on her arm.

You didn’t expect her to grab your hand with hers to interlace your fingers, but this gesture is rather pleasant.

Katie was right, you barely got out of the car when you heard some people calling her name. The young woman having advised you not to pay attention to it, you follow her inside the corridors in the colors of Arsenal without turning once your glance towards the fans.

"Shall I leave you there?" asks Katie once right outside the door that’s supposed to take you to the VIP corner, where Lia booked you a seat.

You nod with a slight smile. You know the way now.

"Thanks for the invitation. I had a great time"

"So do I" Katie says, smiling as well. "You still don’t know when you’re leaving, right?"

"Maybe soon. I don’t know yet"

You gently shrug your shoulders, but you don’t miss the disappointment that briefly passes over Katie’s face after her smile drop.

"Oh… okay. Well, I’ll see you soon, I guess?"

"Yeah" you smile softly.

Katie gives you a little smile, but it’s only when she turns her heels in the direction of the changing rooms that you walk forward two steps and you take the floor again.

"Katie?"

"Yes?"

The Irish girl turns and looks at you with surprise. She apparently did not expect you to hold her back.

"You want to know what it depends on?"

"Yes" she says again, looking at you carefully.

You made other steps to catch up to her and to be at her height but you mechanically bite your lip, a little anxious about your courage and its repercussions. But now is not the time to back down. Katie seems to have quickly noticed your nervousness since she is also moving in your direction of a step, offering you a reassuring smile.

"You"

"Me?"

"Yes, I… I like you, I mean not necessarily only physically. And I really like the moments we spend together, but I don’t know if it’s mutual or if I’m making ideas. And I’m a little afraid that after talking to you about it now it changes or complicates things, but-"

Katie ends up interrupting you, putting her finger on your lips to silence you. You don’t know if it’s a good thing or not and you freeze instantly.

"I like you too, I thought it was obvious. I’m sorry if I let you think otherwise. My love life may not have been the most stable in a few months, but with you it’s different."

You don’t have time to answer anything that Leah Williamson appears around the corner to call Katie. Training will begin soon.

"I have to go. I’ll see you later?"

You nod with a smile. Katie looks at you for a few more seconds smiling before heading to where Leah disappeared a few seconds ago.

"Katie?" You call her again though. "You forgot something"

Gently frowning, Katie turns in your direction, no doubt to see you so close to her, always smiling. She has no time to question you, since you come forward until you can put your lips on hers. It’s just a light kiss, but the sensations are amazing.

When you open your eyes again, Katie’s are dipping into yours and you have to take it on yourself so you don’t pass out. If you listened to yourself, you would do it again, but you don’t want to cross the line. That said, given her smile, she doesn’t seem to be against that kiss.

"Now you can go" you smile maliciously.

But Katie shakes her head with her big smile still displayed on her face. Taking advantage of your proximity, Katie gently puts her hand on your neck before drawing your face once again against hers. This kiss is longer than the first and your hands naturally find place on Katie’s body.

When Katie gently caresses your lower lip with her tongue, asking for access to yours, you do not hesitate a single second before leaving it to her. Obviously, you forget a little where you are and that everyone could surprise you. It is finally a door noise far away from you that brings you back to reality, a few minutes later.

"I really have to go" whispers Katie, her lips caressing yours when she speaks.

And it makes you half lose your mind. So you can’t resist the urge to kiss her again and it takes all your strength to tear you away from her. And let her go.

"Come on, go make the rest of the world enjoy your talent" you smile softly

Katie laughs but steals one last kiss before leaving. It’s in a second state that you join your seat, but when Katie appears on the field alongside the other players, you can’t help but smile again. Katie quickly spots you in the stands and sends you a wink to which you respond with a smile.

In the end, it’s not as safe as this that you’ll leave London.

#woso x reader #woso imagine #woso fanfics #katie mccabe imagine #katie mccabe x reader #katie mccabe

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bradshawssugarbaby · 29 days

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Hurricane - Bradley Bradshaw x Reader

summary: Bradley's regretted breaking off his relationship with you for months, but when he sees you walking into the country club after his round of golf, he knows he has to fix things.

a/n: I haven't written much angst before but I'm really trying to branch out a little bit. Inspired by Hurricane by Luke Combs, and also this weird recurring dream I keep having.

pairing: Bradley Bradshaw x reader

warnings/content: buckle up bc there's a lot? angst (happy ending), parental death, depression, hurt, cancer, goose's accident + carole's reaction, carole literally never getting over losing goose, bradley being a commitmentphobe, pregnancy (i think that's it?), also entirely unrealistic bc you know what? I can't keep roo sad for long.

word count: 3.6k

taglist: @avengersfan25, @nouis-bum, @floydsmuse, @mamachasesmayhem, @jessicab1991, @atarmychick007, @b-bradshaw, @djs8891

Then you rolled in with your hair in the wind Baby, without warning I was doin' alright but just your sight Had my heart stormin'

Bradley narrowed his eyes beneath his sunglasses, the glare of the hot mid-morning sun harsh on his chocolate brown eyes. He grabbed his nine-iron from his golf bag, taking a practice swing before teeing up for his next shot. Bob, Jake, Reuben and Javy stood to the side behind him, watching as he lined up to take his shot. He hadn’t golfed in years, in fact, he’d only ever golfed a handful of times in his life, all of them back when he lived in Virginia. His uncle had taught him when he was 15, a welcome distraction when his mom became sick, and he’d gone out a few times when he was in college after a roommate of his on the school’s golf team had invited him out. He held his breath as he heard the club make contact with the small, white orb, watching as it soared through the air, disappearing somewhere onto the course. Jake let out an impressive whistle as he looked on, placing his hands on his hips as he shook his head in disbelief.

“You’ve never golfed before, Bradshaw? You sure?” He drawled, raising one of his manicured (though he’d deny it if asked) blonde eyebrows suspiciously.

“I told you, a handful of times. Not never.”

“You did say less than five,” Bob shrugged as he cleaned his glasses before replacing them on his nose. “Less than five suggests you haven’t really hit a course.”

“Not to mention you said in years. That was the swing of a man who’s at least hit a driving range a few times,” Reuben pointed out to the course in the general direction of where Bradley’s ball had landed as Javy, Bob and Jake nodded in agreement.

“I wish Nat had tagged along, she wouldn’t ride my ass this hard,” Bradley huffed, shaking his head.

“Nat doesn’t golf. You know that. She acted disgusted that I even asked,” Jake shrugged.

“Maybe it was how you asked,” Bob suggested as he disguised his jab at Jake as a helpful criticism.

“Just take your turn, Robert,” Jake hissed, rolling his eyes dramatically as Bob smirked.

Bradley normally would have joined in with a quip of his own directed at Jake, but his heart just wasn’t in it. His heart wasn’t even in the game. The only reason why he’d agreed to go golfing with the guys for their usual monthly game was because you left him. He needed to get over you and move on - it’d been six months and with no deployments coming up, he had nothing to focus 100% of his attention onto. Reuben had noticed it first - Bradley was withdrawn on nights out, his usually chatterbox self now quiet, calm and keeping to himself, barely breaking eye contact with his beer bottle. Then came Natasha’s barrage of questions - he knew she meant well, but God, it was hard to listen to.

He didn’t want to admit it to himself, but he knew why you left. And it was entirely his fault. You’d gotten upset because he’d stopped spending as much time with you, kept getting cold feet about committing to your relationship. He’d never tell you why he couldn’t commit - it was too hard for him to explain to anyone, really. In fact, he was fairly confident that Reuben was the only other person aware of it.

Bradley wanted to be the partner you needed - he really did. He wanted to be the doting, affectionate boyfriend who’d whisk you off somewhere beautiful, propose to you, start a family with 2.2 kids and a dog, cart the kids around to sports practices on weekends - the American dream. He knew you deserved that much. And yet, no matter how badly he wanted to give that to you - he couldn’t. He’d told you he didn’t want it - he didn’t want to get married, he didn’t want to have kids, he never wanted it. He watched you fall apart the minute the words left his mouth, and it killed him inside. He wanted to hold you close and tell you he was making a mistake, tell you it wasn’t true and he didn’t mean it, but he couldn’t.

He couldn’t, because he was terrified.

Growing up without his dad was one of the hardest things he could have experienced, he was sure of it. He was too young to truly remember how his mom reacted when she learned her husband had been killed in a training exercise, but he remembered her crying a lot, feeling paralyzed by loss and guilt, angry with the world for taking the man she loved away from her. He remembered as he grew up, she never remarried, never went on a date, never even as much as looked at another man. His dad was her everything, and losing him crushed her.

When she got sick, Bradley was a teenager - old enough to understand what it meant for her, what her odds of recovery were, and old enough to be realistic about the future. When they found out she wasn’t going to get better, he’d half expected her to react the way she did when his dad died, but instead, she seemed almost at peace with the idea. She’d spent 14 years of her life missing his dad, and she knew that, even though she was horrified by the thought of leaving Bradley on his own, she wouldn’t have to spend another minute missing her husband.

Bradley decided then that he’d never want to put someone through that. He’d never be able to hurt someone he loved like this - leave them widowed before they turned 30, alone with a toddler at home to raise on the opposite side of the country from their family and friends, with nothing but a military pension and an apology over his death.

It was at 16 years old that Bradley decided, if he wanted to become a pilot, he was going to have to spend life alone, and for the most part, he was ok with that.

That was, until he met you.

He tried to deny his feelings, pretending you were just a casual fling, some fun sex here and there between deployments and missions and nothing more. That was, until three months in, he accidentally told you he loved you. It wasn’t a lie, he did love you, but it caught him off guard when he said it - he didn’t mean to blow his cover and let his guard down like that. And when you said it back? He knew it was game over.

He tried his hardest to push his fears aside, he tried SO hard. He was getting older and beginning to realize he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life alone, especially as he neared the mandatory 20 years of service cutoff for aviators. He’d grown almost fond of the idea of settling down with you, seeing you with a ring on your finger, picturing you with a baby in you, his baby. He wanted it. He wanted all of it. But, the fears and anxiety he had reared its ugly head, and he couldn’t bring himself to get past it.

It was on their last mission, when he had to eject and landed in the middle of a snowy mountain, unsure if he’d make it back home to you. His mind raced with thoughts of how you’d react if he didn’t make it home - how you’d crumple to the floor when you saw the two uniformed officers on your doorstep, the blood-curdling scream you’d let out in pain when you heard them say it, tears staining your pretty little face as you were handed that folded American flag - he couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t stand the idea of putting you through everything his mom had gone through. Not when you were so young and had everything ahead of you. When you could find a man who wasn’t putting his life in danger nearly every damn day, risking himself and risking a chance he might not come home to you.

This golf trip was meant to take his mind off you. Reuben had mentioned it in passing to Jake and Bob, who exchanged worried looks with one another. Javy had overheard Nat’s line of questioning when he and Mickey returned to the table with a fresh round of beers, both of them offering Bradley silent looks of sympathy as they nodded in agreement to Nat’s advice. Bradley was struggling, in over his head with emotions and regret and sadness, but he knew he’d fucked it all up. And he knew that even if he tried, you wouldn’t want him back, and who could blame you?

Bob had suggested he reach out to you and apologize, and for a while, Bradley considered it. He strongly considered calling you, going to your house, begging for forgiveness and begging you to take him back, but after how you reacted when he broke things off with you, he wouldn’t even take him back. He’d been a dick in every sense of the word, and now, he had to try and move on, adjusting to life without you in it.

The next nine holes passed by with little conversation from Bradley and worried glances exchanged between his friends. He wasn’t in the mood for talking, he’d explain, shrugging the concern off before focusing back on the game. Bradley was thankful for his friends’ efforts, but it was beginning to feel like nothing would help him move on.

He slumped down into a chair at a table in the country club after their round of golf, sipping back the beer Jake bought him. He caught himself downing the liquid quicker than he should have, but at this point, being drunk would at least provide him with that much needed numbness he craved. He could hear Bob bickering with Jake over golf scores and who truly won, prompting an eye roll from Javy as he pulled the crumpled scoresheets from his pocket and placed them on the table. Reuben noticed the glazed over look in Bradley’s eye and clapped a sympathetic hand down on his shoulder.

Bradley was about to thank Reuben for being there for him when he saw your face. You were walking into the country club with a couple of your friends, laughing and smiling as you spoke.

God, he loved that smile.

He gulped back the rest of his drink before placing the glass back down on the table, the sound of Bradley slamming the glass down a little harder than he intended prompting Jake to spin his head around as he saw you.

“Oh..shit,” he murmured as Bob and Javy both turned to look discreetly towards you.

Bradley’s eyes widened as you walked past the bar, revealing a very unexpected new figure. He blinked his eyes a few times to ensure they weren’t playing tricks on him - positive that this had to be some kind of optical illusion or something. It was impossible. You couldn’t be.

“Pregnant.” Jake whispered as he leaned into the table, “She’s pregnant,”

“Did you know, Bradley?” Bob inquired as he pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

“N-no.” Bradley choked out, feeling the walls closing in around him as the room started to spin.

Without hesitation, Bradley rose from his seat and made his way over to you, despite the protests from Bob and Reuben, the two voices of reason to Javy and Jake’s voices of impulse. Bradley approached you cautiously, clearing his throat for a moment to garner your attention. You spun your head around, your cheeks rosy and your skin glowing with that pregnancy glow everyone always talked about. Bradley had never really believed in that kind of stuff, but you were proving him wrong.

“Bradley?” you asked, your face paleing to a shade of ghostly white.

“Can…can we talk, please? I need to talk to you,” Bradley rambled with desperation written on his face.

You huffed a sigh, nodding your head slowly as you excused yourself from your friends, who were now whispering and exchanging uncomfortable glances with one another. Bradley followed closely behind you as you stepped out into the fresh air, finding a discreet corner of the parking lot to discuss everything from the last six months.

“I…Is it mine?” Bradley whispered, almost afraid to hear the answer as his eyes wandered to the bump that was evident under your sundress.

You sighed again, following Bradley’s gaze down to your abdomen, a protective hand resting on your bump as you nodded slowly, humming in confirmation.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He frowned, shaking his head quickly, “I-I, I would have helped you.”

“Bradley,” you said, narrowing your eyes and shaking your head quickly, “You told me you didn’t want this. You dumped me and told me you never wanted to settle down or have a family, you didn’t want to be with me anymore, and being in a long-term relationship wasn’t what you ever wanted. You told me you didn’t love me. So please, tell me why I should have told you?”

“Because,” he said softly, his heart aching as he heard your side of things, “I didn’t mean any of that. I was wrong.”

“Oh, you were wrong? Tell me, were you always wrong, or are you only wrong now that you’ve seen me six months later, heavily pregnant?”

Bradley was speechless. He gazed down at his feet, kicking at the pavement in his golf cleats. He sighed as he thought for a moment, taking a second of quiet reflection to compose his thoughts before speaking. He wanted to get this right. He couldn’t afford to fuck it up again.

“I was always wrong. I was wrong when I said it, and I knew I was wrong,” he shook his head vigorously before looking up to meet your gaze, “Did I ever tell you about my mom?”

“You told me she died when you were a teenager, and you didn’t really mention anything else about her. Or anyone in your family, for that matter.”

“Right,” he nodded his head slowly, taking a deep breath before beginning to explain. “My dad died when I was 2. He was an RIO, a Radar Intercept Officer. You know Maverick, right?”

“Mhmm,” you nodded slowly, a look of annoyance flashing across your face as you listened to Bradley, you were used to his excuses, and you were really hoping this wasn’t another one.

“So, Maverick was my dad’s pilot. Best friends. Did everything together. He was flying when my dad died, their plane lost control, had to eject, my dad hit the canopy. Died instantly.” Bradley paused, taking another deep breath as he felt himself getting choked up, “My mom, she, uh, she was really young. My dad was 25, my mom was 23. He was her high school sweetheart. She was devastated. I was too young to remember a lot, but I remember her hurting, and being sad all the time, unable to function some days because she just missed him so much,” he explained as tears began to roll down his cheeks.

“Bradley, I’m sorry,” you sighed, shaking your head as you sympathetically rubbed his bicep to comfort him.

“I just…when she died, she was…peaceful, I guess, because she knew she wouldn’t have to miss him anymore. She wouldn’t be lonely. She never remarried or dated after him, she couldn’t bring herself to. She’s buried with her wedding ring still on her finger. I couldn’t bring myself to take it off her,” he took another deep breath, exhaling sharply before looking up at you.

“I couldn’t do that to you,” he finally said, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill over again, “I couldn’t leave you like my mom. Heartbroken and alone your whole life. She never moved on, and I didn’t want that for you if we got married. God, I would have given anything to marry you. I would have taken you to the courthouse and married you on the spot if you would have agreed to it. But, I couldn’t risk breaking your heart. Not like that.”

“Bradley, you’ve always come home in one piece,” you said softly, fingers still stroking his upper arm soothingly.

“But I almost didn’t. I had to eject and all I could think about was you getting that knock at the door and going through what she went through, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do that to you, or…or to a baby.”

You shook your head, processing everything that Bradley had just said as he poured his heart out to you. He’d never opened up like this to you before, but you could tell each and every word was genuine. As much as you hated him for leaving you, you couldn’t deny that you still loved him with all of your heart.

You missed him.

You missed waking up to him after the two of you had fallen asleep watching a movie together. You missed the way he yelled at the tv when watching baseball, how passionate he got over football games, how he’d pick the olives out of his nachos like a toddler and put them on your plate. You missed how he couldn’t eat apples unless they were baked in a pie, how he’d scarf down an entire red velvet cake if you didn’t gently stop him, then regret it hours later. You missed the way his big brown eyes would stare at you, a look of pure adoration on his face like a lovesick puppy whenever you spoke to someone else, as if he was hanging on every single word that fell from your lips.

You burst into tears, throwing your arms tightly around Bradley as you shook your head. “God, you’re an idiot, you know that?” you murmured, laughing softly as you hugged him.

“I know, I’m the biggest idiot. I still would marry you if you let me. I wanted to have kids with you, I want to be around for this one,” he nodded, gesturing his hands at your bump.

“Really?”

“Cross my heart,” Bradley said with an expression of complete seriousness on his face, “I wanna know everything about them. Everything. I wanna know what you’re having, what name you’ve picked out, what your cravings are, how you’ve been feeling, when they move, what does it feel like? I want to know how far along you are, and how they’re doing, if they have my nose or your nose, or if they’re gonna be tall like I am, I want to know what helps you sleep at night when you’re pregnant, and what their favourite song is. I want all of it, honey.”

“Ok, ok, slow down, breathe, Bradley,” you chuckled, shaking your head. “Take a walk with me?”

As you and Bradley walked around the pedestrian pathway on the golf course, smiling as you spoke fondly about the baby, answering all of Bradley’s questions.

“Well, baby’s a girl, I don’t have a name in mind for her yet, I’ve been craving oranges and Sprite, anything sweet and citrusy. I’ve been ok, better now the morning sickness finally dissipated. It feels like bubbles or something when she kicks, it’s like a fluttering, almost? I’m 28 weeks along, so I have about three months left. She looked like she has your nose on the ultrasound, there’s a 50/50 chance on her height, I sleep pretty much sitting upright because I get bad heartburn otherwise, and I play her music all the time. She likes Elvis and The Beach Boys, just like her dad.”

Bradley’s smile spread wide across his face, a small laugh of disbelief escaping his mouth as he nodded along with your words.

“That’s great. A girl? Really? You’re gonna have a daughter running around,” he said softly, almost as if he was daydreaming about what the little girl would look like.

“We are going to have a daughter.”

“You’re gonna let me be there? After everything?”

“Bradley, as much as I hated you for what you did and how you ended things - I never truly hated you. I loved you, more than anything. I still do.”

He held you tightly, burying his face into your hair as he kissed the top of your head, murmuring softly against your hair.

“God, I love you so much, honey. I promise, I’m never going to do something stupid like that again.”

“I know you won’t,” you laughed, shaking your head as he looked down at you, “I know you’d never leave Carly and I again.”

Bradley froze in place for a moment as he stared at you, his voice barely above a whisper as he spoke.

“What did you call her?”

“Carly. I thought, I don’t know, after you told me about your mom just now, I thought maybe you’d like to name the baby after her? Carole’s nice too, I just figured Carly gives her a name that’s her own too, they share the same root.”

“Carly,” he nodded slowly as he repeated it, “I love it.”

Bradley took your hand in his, his large fingers enveloping your hand as he held it tightly, as if he was terrified of letting go. He made that mistake once before, he wasn’t about to do it again.

430 notes · View notes

redbullgirly · 3 months

Note

Hi, how are you? I saw your requests are open so can you please write a social media au where charles leclerc is dating a singer similar to Taylor and Travis's relationship and just the internet reactions to it the rest is up to you, thank you 🫶🏻

sabrina carpenter as face claims if you're okay with it

HEART ON TOUR [CL16 smau]

Charles Leclerc x singer!reader

Masterlist

Summary: Everybody wants to attend Y/N's world tour and that clearly includes the Ferrari star driver, Charles Leclerc. Though when at a concert, he doesn't get the chance to speak with the famous singer and ask her out, and then gets asked about it in an interview, he isn't shy to admit what his intentions were. Maybe that'll bring Y/N's attention to him... and it definitely will bring the fan's attention. Soon enough, rumors about the couple dating start running around.

Warnings: I worked on this for like 8 hours straight so it's very much possible there are some mistakes or spelling errors I didn't even notice after all that time XD.

Author's Note: Here you go Anon, hope you'll like it! I used Sabrina Carpenter as face claim because let's be honest, she has great photos for this type of social media au and is a singer as well. I made this more like a story of how Y/N and Charles started dating and the fans reaction to that and also somehow tried to replicate Taylor's and Travis' way of meeting, some events and timelines, but to match it with Formula 1 world. Thanks for the request and enjoy! :)

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by arianagrande, charles_leclerc, blakelively and 7,230,197 others

yourusername It's always great to be home, even if you're on a world tour!🇺🇸 Thank you LA for having me, singing in the rain with me and creating special atmosphere I'll remember my whole life!❤️‍🔥 And now Rio de Janeiro is waiting as the next stop of my Heart On Tour!✨🎤

view all 15,492 comments

user1 NO ONE looks that good in the rain except her

arianagrande perfect💋

liked by the author

user2 the concert was so good y'all don't understand now I can't live without knowing I'll see her sing again 😭💔

user3 MOTHER IS MOTHERING

user4 Real angel right here 🤍

taylorswift Nothing screams girl power more than you honey!❤️‍🔥

yourusername thx sm taylor!!! you're literally my biggest inspo ever, love youu 🥰

user5 I love how they're fighting for the most successful and profitable tour ever but still support each other!

user6 omg stop it this is so sweet🥹

user7 The tabloids that constantly try to pit them against each other should be embarrassed XD

user8 STOOOOP NOT MY TWO PARENTS INTERACTING!!!

user9 taylor swift & y/n y/l/n... the best celebrity duo ever😻

user10 ur literally the people‘s pop princess

charles_leclerc Great concert!😍

user11 ARIANA WHAT R U DOING HERE

user12 lol user11 the fact that Ariana herself is under this post as well 😭

user13 not charles trying to shoot his shot with your queen

user14 Why is my fav f1 driver randomly commenting under Y/N's post?!🤠

user15 waiiittt does this mean he's been at the concert???

user16 omg NO WAYYYY🫢

user17 guys I think he was trying to flirt w her and you kinda ruined it💀

liked by charles_leclerc

user17 what the hell-

user18 you left a whole country speechless💗

user19 More like the whole world!!!

spotify WOW 🤩

user20 I wanna be Y/N so baaad

victoriassecret If you ever retire from singing, come and be our angel!💘

user21 so who's here just to first handedly look at charle's sus comment? admit it🤨

user22 meeee

user23 I thought I'm the only one 😭

user24 well when you put it like that user21...

user25 I wish I could repost comments on ig 😃

user26 🫢🫢

user27 Yeah me too guys

user28 honestly i'm not even ashamed🤷‍♀️

user29 Models are lucky you’re not a model

user30 FR

user31 BRASIL IS WAITING FOR YOU 🇧🇷❤️

user32 i seriously dont get the hype she has 🖕

user33 Then go away lol

user34 I can sense the formula one side of twitter is going to eat this upppp

user35 It's so funny how the crazy fan girls can get hyped over one comment... like be fr yn is a world famous singer ofc charles knows about her and can be her fan 🙄

user36 yeah plus I think she said herself she knows him too and is f1 fan bc she watched it with her dad or smth

user37 OMG they're each other's fans?!🥺 Idgaf about being crazy fan girly if it means we'll get this romance story!!!

user38 UR STYLIST DESERVES A RAISE 'CAUSE DAAAMN😘

user39 maybe i'm broke now but this concert was worth the money

twitter

interview with Charles

twitter

instagram direct messages between Y/N and Charles

charles_leclerc posted on instagram

liked by pierregasly, arthur_leclerc, yourusername, shawnmendes and 2,590,231 others

charles_leclerc Good days off. ❤️

view all 4,385 comments

user1 no way a woman made it to his babygirl filter instagram feed😧

user2 it's not a woman anymore... it's THE woman

user3 Uhmm...who is that girl?? In the second picture??

user4 I have a feeling that it's Y/N Y/L/N 🤭

user4 No way oh my god?!

user5 calm down guys it isn't confirmed or anything😑

carlossainz55 You are giving everybody a headache mate

liked by the author and yourusername

user6 you tell him carlito!!!!!

user7 OMG look at who liked his comment😃

user8 WAKE UP NEW PHOTOS OF CHARLES DROPPED 🗣🗣

user9 ehm charlie honey... who is that???🧐

user10 Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/NNNN

user11 Manifesting in real life lmao

user12 whats hapeningggggg

user13 he isn't single anymore 💔💔

user14 but it's y/n ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

user15 I hope so 😔❤️‍🩹

user16 What a way to start my day

user17 i literally spat out my morning coffee

user18 this is such a random soft launch help😭

user19 You see, I know that blonde hair from somewhere... 😏

user20 DAMN

user21 sorry not sorry but that's clearly y/n in the third pic🤷‍♀️

user22 💯💯💯🥇🏆

scuderiaferrari Let's rock the next Grand Prix!❤️‍🔥

liked by the author

charles_leclerc ❤️‍🔥

user23 ADMIN TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW RN

user24 interesting choice of emoji that's associated with y/n and the heart on tour 🥸🥸

user23 SUS

user24 Hard smash

user25 i love that even while soft launching he can't let go of the aesthetic filter he uses for his whole ig💀

joris__trouche lol true

user25 ohhh hi joris😭

user26 Idk who she is and tbh idgaf 'cause she's hooot 🥵😩

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by charlec_leclerc, f1, emilia_clarke, pascale.leclerc.355 and 8,016,555 others

tagged: scuderiaferrari

yourusername cruising down the street in my red car, feeling the wind whisper secrets, oh so far. 💄🎸🏎

view all 19,120 comments

user1 i never knew i needed ferrari coded y/n to live till we got her 😩

yourusername me neither babes

user1 oh my god what does that meeaaannn???!!!

user2 pop princess is living the dream so happy for you and all of your success

scuderiaferrari Everybody is a Ferrari fan ❤️

yourusername ofc!!🫡

user3 Yes we are... just pls stop giving us depression

user4 ohhh the caption screams NEW SONG

user5 right?! it's giving ✨lyrics✨

user6 let's pray for a release soon

user7 🙏🙏🙏

charles_leclerc Red suits you ❤️

liked by the author

user8 omg

yourusername wonder why ❤️

user8 OMG

user9 i dont want to be delusional... but c'mmon they gotta be dating

user10 THIS FEEL LIKE A HISTORICAL MOMENT YALL🤭

user11 ...so we're not talking about how the gp ended (or started) for charles, right?🥲

user12 idk what you're talking about🥲

user13 formation lap? naaaah it didn't happen🥲

user14 um so like you’re actually perfect

spotify you are GLOWING 🤩

user15 mommy- sorry... mommy-sorry... MOTHER

lilymhe my girl crush strikes again

liked by the author

user16 she's just like us xd

user17 I can't blame you Lily😌

user18 PLS I'M BEGGING YOU TELL US IF UR DATING CHARLES OR NOT

user19 Yall think she's real?😍

user20 congrats on dating our babygirl driver y/n!

user20 (delulu is the solulu if you're wondering)

user21 Does Charles' mom in the likes mean something??🤔

user22 i bet he talks about y/n at home 😏

user23 you two are making me too obsessed with this couple that isn't even couple and their family relationships

user22 isn't couple YET!

user24 That's the thinking I like user22 😂

user25 ICONIC❤️‍🔥

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by maxverstappen1, sophiet, charles_leclerc, kellypiquet and 11,920,374 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername secret's out i guess... love u with my whole heart and i'll be forever glad you went to my concert!💝

speaking of music, he's also my muse y'all so be prepared for new album coming soon 😚

view all 20,199 comments

user1 AAGGHAHGDGADGASDHJGAD

user2 only acceptable reaction

user1 I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'M MORE EXCITED ABOUT THEM DATING OR Y/N MAKING NEW ALBUM TBH

user2 again, only acceptable reaction

charles_leclerc Proud of you mi amor!😘

liked by the author

yourusername and i'm proud of you too honey 🥹🫶

user3 they're so sweet I caaaaan't

user4 FINALLY!!!! big congrats to you both

arthur_leclerc How did he even get you to date him?😆

yourusername let's say your big bro can be charming when he wants to... 😌

arthur_leclerc Okay NO NEED for details😅

yourusername xdd

user5 MY ROMAN EMPIRE

user6 everybody's roman empire im afraid😍

user7 how can you both be so damn hot?!

carlossainz55 Does this mean free tickets? 😏

yourusername we'll se about that

landonorris pls y/n

danielricciardo hiiii y/n

alex_albon think of my gf y/n

yourusername okay okay you convinced me

maxverstappen1 I bet it was Alex's comment that convinced you

yourusername ...no need to expose me like that max emilian ☹️

user8 they're the IT couple

user9 Look at how cute Charlie looks in the 5th photo🥰

user10 OMG YEEES

user11 hey am I the only one who's instagram is glitching and not working???

user12 loool Y/N and Charles broke the internet😭

user13 Yeah and they took it too literally 'cause my ig is acting weird as well 💀

user15 look at my fav couple 😻

user16 I hope she'll bring him luck in the next f1 season

scuderiaferrari Everybody is an Y/N fan ❤️

liked by the author

charles_leclerc 🫡

user17 FACTS!!!

user18 mommy and daddy right there

user19 idgaf about her and Charles THE QUEEN IS WORKING ON MORE SONGS YEEEES

f1 Welcome to the family Y/N! 🫶

liked by the author and charles_leclerc

user20 she's the best wag ever 💕

user21 THE MOMENT I WAITED FOR IS HERE

user22 I'm looking at the third photo respectfully 🤭

user23 i love this soft side of Charles omg🥺

user24 righttt? he should post photos like this as well, its better than those professional ones on his profile

user25 Totally agree with this

user26 my jaw dropped but I'm happy about it

user27 idk but charles & y/n definitely won my heart

user28 😍😍

user29 NEW ALBUUUUM

user30 Y/N Y/L/N you'll be forever famous!❤️‍🔥

BONUS

Enchanted Wheels by Y/N Y/L/N (lyrics):

Cruising down the street in my red car,

Feeling the wind whisper secrets, oh so far.

Monaco lights, they dance in the night,

As I search for a love that feels so right.

In this city so bright, I'm lost in the haze,

But I know deep inside, I'll find my soul's maze.

I'm chasing dreams, like chasing the moon,

In this journey, I'll find my love soon.

Enchanted wheels taking me away,

Through the starlit skies, where love will stay.

In the magic of Monaco, my heart takes flight,

Hoping destiny guides me to my soulmate tonight.

Driving through the streets, past midnight's hour,

Looking for heartbeats that give me the power.

In every stranger's eyes, I see fleeting sparks,

But I won't settle for less, only love from the heart.

Monaco's captivating, but love's the real deal,

I won't let go until my heart can finally heal.

The city's alive with endless possibilities,

Somewhere out here, there's a love meant for me.

Enchanted wheels taking me away,

Through the starlit skies, where love will stay.

In the magic of Monaco, my heart takes flight,

Hoping destiny guides me to my soulmate tonight.

I've been searching high and low,

Through the crowds, I hope you'll show.

I believe in fate, destiny's plan,

Perhaps you're just one turn away, my soul's lifeline.

Enchanted wheels taking me away,

Through the starlit skies, where love will stay.

In the magic of Monaco, my heart takes flight,

Hoping destiny guides me to my soulmate tonight.

With every passing mile, my hope grows stronger,

In this journey for love, I won't wait any longer.

Enchanted wheels, lead me to my greatest win,

In Monaco, I'll find my soulmate, love from within.

THE END

Author's Note: Wow, this took m longer than expected (and the worst part was finding that one picture that somehow matches Charles' instagram filter), but I'm really satisfied with the result. Hope you liked this social media au and once again, I'll be grateful for likes, comments, reblogs, follows and every other way of showing your support. Also a little disclaimer: I didn't write the whole song, just a part of it and then helped myself with AI because I'm not really good in songwriting. Though I'm still curious if you liked the bonus, so let me know. Good night! :)

680 notes · View notes

sempersirens · 8 months

Text

raising hell all over town

pairing: best friend's dad!joel x f!reader

summary: you've been a friend of sarah's since you were old enough to steal bottles of her dad's whiskey for parties. sarah was always the sensible one in your friendship, getting you out of the trouble you usually started. but now sarah has gone off to college, who else but joel could pick up the pieces?

content/warnings: 18+ mdni. alcohol. drugs. age gap. violence/fighting. smut: unprotected p in v, spanking

a/n: inspired by this gif set, and the wonderful @amanitacowboy & @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin for introducing me to that yellowstone scene kind of nervous about this, my first proper smutty fic - i find smut really difficult to write for some reason (weird because i'm feral horny 24/7) so this was kinda out of my comfort zone but i hope you all enjoy! PSA: i no longer have a taglist! feel free to follow my updates blog @breakfastupdates and turn the post notifs on to be notified when i post a new fic :)

Friday nights in Austin felt incomplete without Sarah by your side.

For years, she had been the epitome of your partner in crime; dragging you back to her place or putting you in a cab before the cops were called.

Had it not been for your fierce loyalty and protectiveness over Sarah, you're sure her dad would've barred you from the house years ago. Sarah was smarter than you in almost every way. Academically, emotionally, you name it.

Joel knew this, and he trusted the two of you together knowing you both balanced the other out. Watching the two of you reminded Joel of a younger version of himself and Tommy, always thankful that Sarah had followed in his footsteps as opposed to her uncle's.

Your relationship with your parents was rocky, to say the least, and the Miller's house had always been a safe haven for you. Joel had patched up your split lip or bloody nose more times than he wanted to admit for a girl your age. He swore he'd kill your old man one day for the states you'd turned up to their house in.

Still, he couldn't help but feel the urge to grab you by the shoulders and shake some sense into you from time to time. As much as his heart broke for you, it was also in your nature to be a damn brat. Joel had endured countless stifling days spent by the pool forcing himself to not let his eyes linger on the curves of your hips. He struggled to look you in the eye when he saw you sat on the kitchen counter waiting to leave for a party, your mini skirt riding dangerously high on your thighs.

There had been times when he had been reckless. Times that he'd had to pull himself away from your invisible grip on him and relieve his tension in the bathroom, fisting his cock onto the shower floor, biting down on the shape of your name on his tongue.

When he'd re-emerge into the living room, he knew that you knew. You'd look through your eyelashes at him and smile. His cheeks flushed, shame setting in at the speed at which he'd cum from the thought of your pussy clenching around his shaft.

He would never let it show, but something would rush through his body when he'd ask Sarah what the hell she do this time? He remembered one time in particular, as Sarah relayed the events of the night that had led to your bloody nose, he'd looked over at you perching on the counter. With blood leaking down your cupid's bow, you'd locked eyes with him and ran your tongue across your lip, revelling in the remnants of your victory.

Still, you had fine enough nights out with the girls from work. They just didn't get you the way Sarah did. They would shoot you judgemental glances from across the bar that lasted until the Monday back at work for whatever you had done this time that they disapproved of.

"They're just dull. You should see the way they look at me for literally just hooking up with guys." You had lamented to Sarah over the phone while you were both getting ready for your respective nights out on separate sides of the country.

"It's probably because they've seen you get through an entire friendship group before your second drink."

"Well, they should be taking notes. Tell me nobody at college is as fun as me." Jealousy tore through your chest at the thought of Sarah spending her time with new friends.

"Nobody here is as fun as you. They're very... reserved." You scoffed at her politeness.

"Babe, just say they're boring."

"I'm giving them a chance. Anyway, gotta go. Text me tomorrow and tell me the damage. Love ya!"

"Don't have too much fun without me. Love you too."

Despite their judging looks, you were always the first person they called upon to finish any mess they had gotten themselves into. Still, you were happy to oblige, even if it meant a few awkward minutes of silence at the coffee machine on Monday.

The group of you had poured out of an Uber into the busy bar around nine o'clock, buzzing with the confidence of your pre-drinks. Rounds of shots were ordered and consumed at a dizzying pace, and soon enough, bags of powder were discreetly distributed across the table.

"Bathroom?" Hannah, one of your closest and least judgmental co-workers nudged you.

"Thought you'd never ask." The two of you sauntered away from the table, hand-in-hand, quickly bundling into a tight cubicle.

The bathroom filled up as the two of you tried to be as silent as possible, scooping your pinky nails into the small bag.

"Hurry the fuck up!" Someone from outside the cubicle called, thudding her fists against the door.

"Get fucked." You called back, muttering this bitch under your breath to Hannah.

As the two of you packed your things back into your handbags, the cubicle door jolted half open, smacking Hannah in the shoulder.

"Are you fucking serious?" You shouted at the small brunette on the other side of the door, checking Hannah over for injury.

"You hit me, you bitch." She straightened herself up, rubbing her shoulder.

"I'll do worse if you don't fucking move." The brunette hissed in her face.

You screwed your face up and shoved her, making her stumble backwards into the sink. The other girls in the bathroom grabbed their bags and scurried to the exit, evidently not wanting to be caught in the crossfire.

"Apologise." You said, moving toward the girl who was now pulling herself up with the help of the basins on either side of her.

"Fuck you." She spat, saliva hitting your cheek before she lunged forward.

Your fist connected with her nose before she even had time to swing, and your right hand secured a tight grip on the back of her hair.

"I said, apologise to my friend."

"I'm sorry." She choked, pathetically. Her face shrivelled in fear and pain.

"Not so fuckin' big now, are you?" Hannah said, which was ironic, considering the girl who had bruised her was now quivering under your fist.

Content with her apology, you released your grip on her and re-entered the bar with Hannah trailing behind you. As you both rejoined your table, you felt a tap on your shoulder.

"Our friend said you just attacked her in the bathroom." Another petite girl looked up at you, one hand on her hip.

"She hit my friend, here. Was just trying to teach her some manners."

The entirety of your group was now turned to face you, exchanging harsh whispers of your name followed by just leave it.

"You broke her nose!" The girl shrilled. You looked over her shoulder to the girl doubled over, clutching her bloody nose with an ensemble of people crowding around her.

"No, I think it just looks like that."

You grinned at the rage growing behind her eyes, your smile unfaltering even as her fist collided with your cheek.

"Harder." You shouted, rolling your neck from side to side.

"What?!"

"Come on, hit me harder. I know you got it in you." She didn't take much convincing; her next punch knocked you backwards onto the table as everyone rushed to tear the two of you apart.

You stepped forward to finally let her have it when a pair of strong hands pulled you back.

"Get off!" You shouted, kicking against who you assumed to be security throwing you out. You just hoped they weren't calling the cops, too.

"C'mon, doll. You've had enough fun for one night." A familiar Southern drawl cooed, dragging you out into the warm night. "Now, that wasn't very ladylike of you, darlin'."

He let you go from his grip and you turned to face him. To your surprise, you were met with the smirk of the younger Miller brother.

"Tommy." You breathed, "I didn't see you in there."

"Well, lucky I noticed you ain't it." He grinned.

Spending so much time at the Miller's had you well acquainted with Sarah's uncle Tommy. He'd seen you in much worse states than this, and in turn, so had you.

"Didn't need you to swoop in and save me, Tommy."

"Wasn't saving you, sweetheart. Was savin' that poor girl." You both smiled at the tone of pride in his voice.

"You got somewhere to go, trouble? Don't think you should be hangin' round here for too long."

"Can't exactly go home bleeding from my face." You sighed, realising you probably hadn't thought this through. You missed Sarah.

Tommy fished around in his pocket for his phone before raising it to his ear.

"Hey, big brother." Your stomach flipped. "No, no- it's not me. Joel, listen." You could almost hear Joel on the other end of the phone, witnessing it in person more times than you could count. It's not even ten o'clock yet, don't tell me you're locked up already.

"Our favourite little troublemaker needs a place to crash tonight. I'd drive her over but I've already had my fair share of beers. Okay, great. I'll tell her."

Once he'd hung up, Tommy told you that Joel was on his way to come and pick you up. You could feel your heartbeat in your stomach. You'd never been alone with Joel for longer than a couple of hours at most, let alone spending the night at his while Sarah was out of town. Something inside of you twitched in excitement, a warm rush settling deep in your belly.

You told Tommy to go back into the bar, that Joel wouldn't be long and you'd walk down the street to meet him in case those girls came out looking for another round.

As you made your way underneath the streetlights toward the direction of the Miller's house, you pulled your compact from your bag and touched up your make-up, re-curling your lashes and dousing a thick layer of clear lipgloss onto your lips, not bothering to tend to any of the blood trickling down your skin. You spritzed yourself with perfume and ran a brush through your hair, smiling at the thought of Joel seeing you waiting on the curbside for him.

Right on cue, his truck pulled around the corner. You raised your hand and wiggled your fingers, a small smirk spreading across your cheeks.

You were grateful for your earlier decision to wear your knee-high boots with a denim mini-skirt, adding a little extra sway to your hips as you made your way to the passenger side of Joel's truck. You climbed in and turned to face him, flashing him a toothy grin, well aware of the blood staining your teeth.

"You're a damn mess, princess." Something deep inside of you came to life at his words, causing you to visibly clench your exposed thighs together. "S'there I was, thinking to myself how thankful I am for a peaceful night after workin' lates all week. When my phone rings, just as I'd sat down and made myself comfortable."

"Peace is overrated." You replied.

"So, what did you do this time? Steal another cop car? Break into a hotel pool? Make out with someone's husband?"

You played with the hem of your skirt as he spoke, blushing as he listed a few of your past activities he'd either bailed you out of or heard about from Sarah.

"I didn't start this one." You said, a slight whine in your voice. "Someone hit my friend, I was just looking out for her."

"Your friend can't fight her own battles?"

"You never have a problem when it's Sarah I'm throwing punches for."

He scoffed. "Now, you know I've always taught her to never start a fight but always to finish one. You on the other hand, I don't think nobody's taught you anythin' of the sort."

"And are you gonna be the one to do that, Mr Miller?" You mimicked his Texan accent, which was much thicker than yours, and parted your legs in your seat ever so slightly.

"If I didn't know you better, darlin', I'd think you were tryin' to get me in some sort of trouble."

He pulled into the driveway and switched the ignition off before jogging to your side of the truck and holding the door open for you, as well as offering you an outstretched hand.

"Always such a gentleman." You smiled, looking at him through your eyelashes as you stepped out, hand in his.

He exhaled out of his nose, shaking his head softly as he slammed the door shut behind you. His hand moved to the small of your back, guiding you into the house.

"Sarah's bed is all made up, I'm sure you know where her clothes are f'you wanna change into something more... comfortable." His eyes trailed down your figure, your clothes hugging all the right places.

"Do you not like my outfit?" You pouted, holding your hands behind your back and sticking your chest out, swaying from side to side.

"Course not, y'look real pretty. Just thought you'd wanna watch TV before going to sleep is all." Joel brought a hand to the back of his head, rubbing his neck nervously as his eyes shifted to the floor.

For such a handsome man, he was so damn insecure. Maybe it was the gentleman in him, thinking that it was wrong for someone his age to want someone the same age as his daughter. He knew you didn't think like that, Sarah had told him multiple stories about the older men you'd hooked with at the bar.

He'd even caught you making out with a kid from your school's dad a few years ago when he'd come to pick you and Sarah up from a party. Joel had seemingly known the man, and you remembered how he'd stalked out of his truck and toward you both, grabbing him by the scruff of the neck and warning him that his wife wasn't going to like hearing about this.

So, you kicked off your boots and took yourself upstairs into Sarah's bedroom. Not bothering to close the blinds, you peeled your clothes off and looked at yourself in the full length mirror.

The warmth of your earlier drinks still coated your inhibitions. You knew you looked good in your black lace set, breasts sat perkily on your chest and your ass cheeks the perfect handfuls.

Fuck it. If he wasn't going to be ballsy enough to make the first move, maybe you should.

You kissed the tips of your fingers and pressed them against a framed photo of you and Sarah giggling at whatever was going on behind the camera.

"Sorry, Sarah." You whispered, before making your way down the stairs.

Joel heard you coming but was too preoccupied fighting with the TV remote control to turn around and face you just yet.

"If I can get this damn thing to work I think they're showin' Scarface at ten, I know you said you ain't seen it so thought we could watch it."

"Sounds good," you spoke, your voice more honeyed than usual. "Hey, Joel. Do you think this will be comfy enough?"

He whipped his head around quickly, ready to give you the same kind of answer he did whenever Sarah asked for his opinion in a changing room. It took a second for him to register what he was looking at, but when it clicked he dropped the remote to the floor and turned his whole body to face you.

"What the hell," his face turned bright red, unsure what to do with his hands. You could give him a few ideas.

"You not like it?" You asked, voice low as you walked slowly in his direction.

His trousers began to tighten around his hardening cock and you smiled, glad that you were indeed on the same page.

"Course I- I, what the hell are you playin' at?"

"Come on, Joel. I gotta make up for interrupting your peaceful night somehow."

You closed the gap between you both and placed a hand delicately on his chest, tracing circles with the tip of your long, manicured nails.

Joel swallowed hard.

"This ain't right." He said weakly, his eyes betraying his words as they devoured the sight of your body before him.

"Cut the shit, Joel. I know you want me, and I want you."

He didn't answer, but instead threw you over his shoulder and carried you up to his bedroom, placing a couple of firm smacks on your ass as you wriggle against his strong grip. Your stomach did backflips, exhilarated at the prospect of what was about to happen.

Upon entering his room, he threw you roughly onto the bed and worked at undoing his belt as you scrambled onto your back, resting on your elbows.

"Y'know what I really thought when Tommy called, tellin' me I needed to come pick you up?" He said, although it didn't sound much like a question. "I thought, this dumb slut needs some sense fucking into her."

You moaned at his words, basking in the side of him that you knew always existed.

“Thought t’myself, she needs teachin’ some fuckin' manners f’once.”

Joel stalked around the side of the bed and sat and patted his lap. Wordlessly, you shifted your weight next to him and dangled your legs over the side of the bed.

He brought his right hand in between your thighs, making you shiver at the feeling of his coarse fingers grazing your skin. He ran his fingers up and down the length of your thigh, each time stopping short of the hem of your skirt.

"This is what you want, ain't it sweetheart?" He spoke lowly, voice gravelly and as rough as his touch. Each night spent tangled and alone in your sheets, fingers grazing your soaked folds with his name on your lips felt redundant. Nothing could come close to the feel of his skin on yours.

Pulling you from your trance, he slapped your inner thigh hard when you didn't respond. "Need t'hear you say it."

"Yes,' you moan through gritted teeth, surprised you can even find your voice. "This is what I need."

Sick of his incessant teasing, you clamber onto his lap and hook your fingers around the back of his neck.

"But I think you need this just as much, Mr Miller. You must get so lonely in this house all by yourself. Sarah always tells me how you never have any lady friends hanging around."

You straddle his lap and grip his neck for support, softly grinding yourself on the hardness of his lap. He moves a hand from your waist to roughly seize your chin, tipping your face down to meet his gaze.

"Your old man must've forgot to teach you some manners, little girl." His low voice tore through your body.

Joel hoists your skirt up to your waist and flips you underneath him in one swift motion. His body looms over yours, fingers trailing a rough and jagged line down to where you need him most. He moved at an antagonising slow pace, but you can't bring yourself to give into his little game by begging for more.

"Here's what we're gonna do, darlin'. You're gonna be a good girl f'me and tell daddy exactly what happened tonight." The mouth on him.

The way your body writhed and squirmed at his words didn't go unnoticed. With no warning, he plunged two thick digits inside of you and held them deep in place, his face inches away from yours.

"N'if you stutter, or lie, or say anythin' I don't like for that matter, you'll be over my knee, red-raw," his fingers curl inside of you and you bite back a moan, desperate to not let him have the upper hand.

"No matter how much you cry those pretty little eyes out, I won't quit 'til you've learnt somethin'. Understood?"

You suck a breath in through your nose, a sharp sting reminding you of the open wound still decorating your face.

"Yes, sir."

part 2 coming soon

taglist: @cool-iguana @nostalxgic @chaotic-mystery @beardedjoel

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hollowed-theory-hall · 16 days

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Sirius Black was the best adult in Harry's life and I'm forever salty that we didn't get to see more of him

So, I love Sirius Black. He's a complex and interesting character that I love dearly. He's handsome, smart, brave, not as reckless as some fanon make him out to be, and above all else, he tried his best to be a good godfather to Harry.

I truly believe Sirius could've been an amazing father figure (more than he already was) to Harry if given the proper chance. And he's a much better parent to Harry than Arthur and Molly Weasley.

Here are some quotes along with my ramblings to prove it.

So, what I'm going to cover here are some quotes from Sirius and Harry that show their dynamic and how much Sirius cared and tried to be there for Harry. Also, I think Molyl and Hermione are wrong about Sirius seeing Harry as a James replacement.

“He came back to the country just because my scar twinged. He’ll probably come bursting right into the castle if I tell him someone’s entered me in the Triwizard Tournament —”

(GoF, page 290)

Harry wrote to Sirius at the beginning of GoF about his dream with Voldemort and his scar's reaction to it. Sirius left everything immediately to return to Britain — a place where he is hunted down and is a wanted man. All because he wants to be close to Harry, so he can spring up to protect him if the need arises.

Harry is correct in his assessment here.

“Poor old Snuffles,” said Ron, breathing deeply. “He must really like you, Harry. . . . Imagine having to live off rats.”

(GoF, page 534)

Ron is absolutely right. Sirius loves Harry more than pretty much anything. He would and does go incredibly far for Harry. I don't think Molly and Hermione are right about how Sirius sees Harry as James. He just doesn't.

He doesn't treat Harry as an equal to him, but as someone he needs to protect. Someone he is responsible to protect.

He stays around Hogwarts, eating rats in GoF so he can better protect Harry. He wouldn't have done the same with James because he treated James as an equal, not as someone he needed to protect.

“It’s not my fault you haven’t been told what the Order’s doing,” said Sirius calmly. “That’s your parents’ decision. Harry, on the other hand —” “It’s not down to you to decide what’s good for Harry!” said Mrs. Weasley sharply. Her normally kindly face looked dangerous. “You haven’t forgotten what Dumbledore said, I suppose?” “Which bit?” Sirius asked politely, but with an air as though readying himself for a fight. “The bit about not telling Harry more than he needs to know,” said Mrs. Weasley, placing a heavy emphasis on the last three words. Ron, Hermione, Fred, and George’s heads turned from Sirius to Mrs. Weasley as though following a tennis rally. Ginny was kneeling amid a pile of abandoned butterbeer corks, watching the conversation with her mouth slightly open. Lupin’s eyes were fixed on Sirius. “I don’t intend to tell him more than he needs to know, Molly,” said Sirius. “But as he was the one who saw Voldemort come back” (again, there was a collective shudder around the table at the name), “he has more right than most to —” “He’s not a member of the Order of the Phoenix!” said Mrs. Weasley. “He’s only fifteen and —” “— and he’s dealt with as much as most in the Order,” said Sirius, “and more than some —” “No one’s denying what he’s done!” said Mrs. Weasley, her voice rising, her fists trembling on the arms of her chair. “But he’s still —” “He’s not a child!” said Sirius impatiently. “He’s not an adult either!” said Mrs. Weasley, the color rising in her cheeks. “He’s not James, Sirius!” “I’m perfectly clear who he is, thanks, Molly,” said Sirius coldly. “I’m not sure you are!” said Mrs. Weasley. “Sometimes, the way you talk about him, it’s as though you think you’ve got your best friend back!” “What’s wrong with that?” said Harry. “What’s wrong, Harry, is that you are not your father, however much you might look like him!” said Mrs. Weasley, her eyes still boring into Sirius. “You are still at school and adults responsible for you should not forget it!” “Meaning I’m an irresponsible godfather?” demanded Sirius, his voice rising. “Meaning you’ve been known to act rashly, Sirius, which is why Dumbledore keeps reminding you to stay at home and —” “We’ll leave my instructions from Dumbledore out of this, if you please!” said Sirius loudly.

(OotP, page 88-89)

This above quote is a long one, but I love it. I mean, this shows a big contrast between Sirius' approach to parenting and Molly's. Sirius, while not seeing Harry as his equal, does see Harry as a capable wizard who deserves to know the full picture. Sirius knows Harry would be in more danger when ignorant and wants him as safe as possible. He thinks Harry deserves to know things that pertain to him, and I have to agree with him here. Keeping Harry in the dark is what eventually cost Sirius his life.

Molly, on the other hand, is intent on keeping Harry, Hermione, and her kids ignorant. She has the same intention as Sirius: to keep them safe. But she tries to keep them safe emotionally, even when this ignorance can and does place them in physical harm's way.

And Sirius is right. Harry is capable. And a 15-year-old shouldn't be treated the same as an 11-year-old child. And let's be real, Harry was never a regular child with how he grew up, and I think Sirius sees his maturity and treats him accordingly. Sirius actually gave Harry advice to not approach danger in GOF and Harry listened to him because Sirius treated him with respect, which works best with Harry who never really had parental figures.

“I don’t know,” said Sirius slowly, “I just don’t know . . . Karkaroff doesn’t strike me as the type who’d go back to Voldemort unless he knew Voldemort was powerful enough to protect him. But whoever put your name in that goblet did it for a reason, and I can’t help thinking the tournament would be a very good way to attack you and make it look like an accident.”

(GoF, page 334)

This is an expert from the Fireplace conversation Haryr had with Sirius before the first task. Sirius shares his theories with Harry because he needs him to know who to watch out for. Because everything he does is to keep Harry safe. And this is the same approach Sirius wishes he could take with Harry in OOTP. Because he knows it works. Keeping Harry informed means that if he does put himself in danger, at least he would inform Sirius about it; Which would allow Sirius to protect him.

I'm not copying all of them, but Sirius' letters to Harry throughout GOF are so caring and sweet. Harry deserved to have more of his godfather in his life:

Nice try, Harry. I'm back in the country and well hidden. I want you to keep me posted on everything that's going on at Hogwarts. Don't use Hedwig, keep changing owls, and don't worry about me, just watch out for yourself. Don't forget what I said about your scar. Sirius

(Gof, page 240)

This treatment encourages Harry to actually share everything with him and ask him for advice. Something he doesn't do with Dumbledore ever. (Harry actually doesn't like or trust Dumbledore all that much until book 6, it's usually Hermione who trusts Dumbledore fully)

“Sirius — how’re you doing?” ... “Never mind me, how are you?” said Sirius seriously.

(GoF, page 331)

Sirius again, shows his responsibility towards Harry's well-being over his own (both here and in the above letter).

Sirius is the only adult who actually talks to Harry about the Dursleys with sympathy:

“But if they do expel me,” said Harry, quietly, “can I come back here and live with you?” Sirius smiled sadly. “We’ll see.” “I’d feel a lot better about the hearing if I knew I didn’t have to go back to the Dursleys,” Harry pressed him. “They must be bad if you prefer this place,” said Sirius gloomily.

(OotP, page 116)

We know Sirius would love nothing more than for Harry to stay with him. He's lonely and bored at Grimmauld and would love to have Harry there. But at the same time, he doesn't want Harry expelled from Hogwarts and is trying not to be hopeful for it.

Sirius understands the Dursleys are awful, he just know the full scope, but it's more of a reaction than we get from most adults in this series. To me, it looks like Sirius is annoyed by how limited he is in helping Harry. He can't really do much about the Dursleys or their status as Harry's guardians.

“So you want me to say I’m not going to take part in the defense group?” he muttered finally. “Me? Certainly not!” said Sirius, looking surprised. “I think it’s an excellent idea!” “You do?” said Harry, his heart lifting. “Of course I do!” said Sirius. “D’you think your father and I would’ve lain down and taken orders from an old hag like Umbridge?” “But — last term all you did was tell me to be careful and not take risks —” “Last year all the evidence was that someone inside Hogwarts was trying to kill you, Harry!” said Sirius impatiently. “This year we know that there’s someone outside Hogwarts who’d like to kill us all, so I think learning to defend yourselves properly is a very good idea!” “And if we do get expelled?” Hermione asked, a quizzical look on her face. “Hermione, this whole thing was your idea!” said Harry, staring at her. “I know it was. . . . I just wondered what Sirius thought,” she said, shrugging. “Well, better expelled and able to defend yourselves than sitting safely in school without a clue,” said Sirius.

(OotP, page 371)

I love this scene as well. Sirius cares for Harry's safety first and foremost. Harry being safe is his top priority at every given point. And he's reasonable and logical and treats Harry like someone to protect, not like a friend.

Like, Harry when he has a problem and needs advice throughout books 4 and 5, he calls Sirius. He's Harry's go-to parental figure for advice, and Sirius takes his rule seriously. He gives the advice he honestly thinks is best and ensures Harry's safety and continued survival to the best of his ability.

“It matters because we don’t want to draw attention to the fact that Harry is having visions of things that are happening hundreds of miles away!” said Sirius angrily. “Have you any idea what the Ministry would make of that information?” Fred and George looked as though they could not care less what the Ministry made of anything. Ron was still white-faced and silent. Ginny said, “Somebody else could have told us. . . . We could have heard it somewhere other than Harry. . . .”

(OotP, pages 476-477)

Again, Harry's safety is Sirius' first priority above everyone else. Harry's happiness and privacy also take precedence over most other things. He doesn't want Harry under even more scrutiny from the ministry and the Wizarding World and protecting him from that is just as important to him.

To me, it feels like people who say he treats Harry like a James replacement didn't read the books....

“It must have been the aftermath of the vision, that’s all,” said Sirius. “You were still thinking of the dream or whatever it was and —” “It wasn’t that,” said Harry, shaking his head. “It was like something rose up inside me, like there’s a snake inside me —” “You need to sleep,” said Sirius firmly. “You’re going to have breakfast and then go upstairs to bed, and then you can go and see Arthur after lunch with the others. You’re in shock, Harry; you’re blaming yourself for something you only witnessed, and it’s lucky you did witness it or Arthur might have died. Just stop worrying. . . .” He clapped Harry on the shoulder and left the pantry, leaving Harry standing alone in the dark.

(OotP, pages 480-481)

And I love this too. How he tries to comfort Harry and make everything easier for him. When the rest of the Order were gossiping about how dangerous his connection to Voldemort is, Sirius is honestly trying to get Harry to worry about it less.

He might be lying here, but he is right about sending Harry to sleep after a sleepless night like they had. And he is right about Harry being in shock and needing the rest. I just, really like how much Sirius cares. Harry just doesn't have other adults in his life who care for him like Sirius does.

But some part of him realized, even as he fought to break free from Lupin, that Sirius had never kept him waiting before. . . . Sirius had risked everything, always, to see Harry, to help him. . . . If Sirius was not reappearing out of that archway when Harry was yelling for him as though his life depended on it, the only possible explanation was that he could not come back. . . . That he really was . . .

(OotP, page 808)

This. Scene. Just kills me.

Like, Harry understands how much Sirius cares about him, and how Sirius always puts him first. He knows the only way Sirius won't drop everything to come and when Harry calls for him is if he can't.

Because Sirius escaped Azkaban when he realized Harry might be in danger from Peter, not for his own safety, but for Harry’s. Sirius dropped everything and moved to live in a cave and eat rats when Harry's scar hurt. He stuck around Hogwarts and Hogsmead during the Triwizard Tournament, when it was crawling with ministry officials because Harry might need him. He was willing to do so much for Harry. And Harry knew this.

I think, given time, they could've had an amazing dynamic, and I wish we had more of Sirius and his care for Harry. That we saw more of his approach to parenting Harry.

#harry potter #harry potter thoughts #hp theory #harry potter theory #hp #hp thoughts #sirius black #good godfather sirius black #hollowedtheory #sirius black was a better parent figure for harry than the weasleys #pro sirius black #I also wanna talk about how smart sirius is #but that'll be another post

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peanutpinet · 7 months

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The Bat & Dove - Jeno Mafia (racer) x fem reader

Synopsis: In the public’s eye, NCT was just like any other celebrity agency with some of the neos being actors, famous racers, athletes, and other public figures. Jeno was one of the racers of NCT in front of the public but behind all of the public’s eye and cameras was an introverted yet smart racer who could memorise every single track that he had been on and could calculate anything he targeted. But one thing that he couldn’t figure out was his feelings towards a certain modest girl.

Warnings: Floof before the storm, cursing, drug usage, kidnapping inflicting pain, illegal fight, racing, near rape themes, angst, torture

A/N: I swear Jeno has suddenly gotten me writing a long-ass fic for him and about mafia :)) I ain't complaining cause The Bat Video and Performance is just 🤌🏼 Also, if any of you have been here since my first few NCT fics, this is a slight spin-off of Taeyong x Medic Girl fic (my 3rd NCT fanfic). And now, your author shall go back and figure out another fic whilst attending SMtown on Saturday :]

Taeyong x Medic Girl: pt 1

Never did you think that in your whole life, you would be flying in a first-class seat heading towards Milan, Italy with your boyfriend of one year, Jeno Lee, the famous racer in South Korea. The one who would always win the race no matter the circumstances.

You and Jeno met almost 2 years ago when you were working part-time for your local cafe and had to cover for your friend who always does the night shift. It was your first night shift and everything was going well until you had to close up for the night.

You were taking out the trash when there were a gang of drunk college students who tried to touch you when you clearly had no energy to fight back. Luckily enough, Jeno and his friends were right around the corner when it happened and something about that night, Jeno who is typically a rather quiet, introverted member of NCT decided to fight back.

Jeno managed to stop the college students before they did anything further. Jeno looked over towards you and nudged you to go back inside of the cafe which you did without questioning him. Not long after, Jeno came into the cafe to check up on you.

Seeing his slightly bruised knuckles, you told Jeno to sit down and helped clean his injuries and wounds. After that incident, Jeno decided to watch you from afar whenever you had night shift and the rest was basically history.

You weren’t someone who came from an elite family at all. Instead, you came from a simple family that earns slightly more than enough to live. When you met Jeno, you were in your final semester of university and working part-time to earn some sort of whereas he was already a well-known racer in the country.

Shortly after you graduated, Jeno asked you to be his girlfriend and even managed to help you get a job that pays you well to help your parents. Even though you can earn on your own now, Jeno would still shower you with gifts that you had always wanted and more. Jeno would also often invite you to hang out with him and his friends, to get to know his group so that you would have some company whenever you attend his races.

But this time, it was an international race and Jeno insisted that you come because he had an extra ticket to watch his racing but also he wanted you to be able to explore other parts of the world with him. You were always there for him after a long day and would always take care of him without knowing much and he wants to return the favour. But also seeing you smile just brightens Jeno’s day.

Upon reaching the hotel, Jeno asked if you were alright to stay and sleep in the same room with him because he’s worried whenever you’re alone which you were alright but you nervously told him that you had never slept on the same bed with a guy before.

“Don’t worry, love. If you’re nervous, I can ask to change our room to two separate beds. I don’t want you to feel pressured. I just worry whenever you’re alone but I promise that I’ll give you all the privacy you need” Jeno mentioned, putting both your suitcases as you explore the huge room that you’re not used to at all

“Jen, there’s no need to. I trust you. I trust that you won’t cross my boundaries. Plus, this room is huge, there’s more than enough space to have some sort of privacy” you replied, looking out the view from the balcony of the room

“I’m glad that you trust me so much. I promise that I’ll make this trip unforgettable” Jeno mumbled, back hugging you as he kissed the side of your temple, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck

Because you were staying for a full week, the first 2 days were just filled with you and Jeno exploring the city, occasionally getting lost together but stumbled upon some sort of local cafe or even park. By the 3rd day, Jeno had his race and had already been preparing since early in the morning, not forgetting to kiss your forehead and left a note before he left.

Waking up to a lighter bed, you found a box with a note attached to it. “I got it before I asked you to come with me because either way, you would eventually come. I hope that you’ve been enjoying your holiday because I know that I have. You have always been so caring and loving to me. I know that I’ve spoiled you here and there but just this one time, throughout our time in Milan, let me spoil you like a princess. Let me show you how much I care and adore you because I know that you’re the one for me. Go on, princess, put on your gown and come to be my good luck charm so that I can show you how much you mean to me” - your little puppy disguised as a wolf

Opening the box, you were shocked to see a gorgeous white buttoned dress matched with a simple handbag and shoes. Taking a picture of the box and note, you sent it to Jeno who almost replied immediately and texted you that he had hair & makeup on their way along with breakfast. Jeno also mentioned to Renjun, Yangyang, and Shotaro would be there to pick you up since Haechan and Jaemin were with him.

After you’ve gotten your hair & makeup done, you hear a knock on your door and when you open it, it was Renjun, Yangyang and Shotaro, just as Jeno mentioned. You thanked the hair & makeup team as they left your room as the 3 men waited for you to finish your breakfast which you offered to them.

“Don’t worry about us, we already had breakfast a while ago” Renjun mentioned

“Are you excited to see Jeno race in an international competition?” Yangyang asked and you shyly nod. “Jeno was right when he said that you were shy. But it’s alright. Just enjoy yourself during this trip. Come on, let’s go!! The race is gonna start soon” Yangyang exclaimed as you took your things and headed out with the 3 males.

Arriving at the racing track, you and the 3 males went to the designated seat which were in a nice middle spot to see the entire track and you could even see your boyfriend getting ready by the pit stop with his other friends, Jaemin and Haechan.

As the announcer mentioned that the race was about to start, all the racers went to their designated cars to get ready to race.

Jeno’s POV

“Remember, it’s that one over there, number 712. The copycat as I like to name them” Haechan mentioned, nudging towards the racer and car that was already by the track

“Hmm. I’ve been eyeing them since the moment they stepped foot in this place” I replied, putting on his glove and taking my helmet from Jaemin

“Don’t interact when unnecessary. We’re just here to make sure that they’re not going to pull anything today. But just in case, there’s an emergency box underneath your seat. Plus, Doyoung, Jaehyun, and Jungwoo hyung are in the area to watch over” Jaemin mentioned

“I know. I’m not worried about what’ll happen to us. I’m more worried about (y/n)” I mentioned, turning around to see (y/n) in the crowd with the others

“She’ll be alright. The 3 of them are with her. Yangyang is a skilful shooter, Shotaro is amazing in combat and Renjun is a doctor + hacker. Plus, as Jaemin mentioned, our three reliable hyungs are here. There’s nothing to worry about” Haechan mentioned, shrugging

“Keep an eye on their team, I’ll deal with the driver” I replied, putting on my helmet and driving towards the track

Before the race actually started, I kept a close eye on the target that Taeyong-hyung instructed.

Flashback

“I received news that our copycat gang will be racing in the Italian Grand Prix which you will also be attending along with the 00 liners” Taeyong mentioned, pushing the information towards me

“What do you need us to do? Kill them? Kidnap them? Take them down? Expose them?” I questioned, flipping through all the information that Taeyong gave

“They’re known as a fraud. They tend to pretend to be one of our gang because no one truly knows who is part of our main gang like you in Dream, WayV, 127, aside from me, Mark and Kun being the leaders since it would only just be the 3 of us whenever we go to meetings. Take them down. Expose them as the frauds they are. But don’t. kill. them.” Taeyong mentioned and I closed the information looking back at our leader

“Why would you think that I would kill them?” I asked, raising my eyebrow

“Because you’re going with your girlfriend. And I’m sure that whatever happens to her, you’re not going to sit tight. You’re probably going to see red everywhere and without thinking, you might actually kill one of them upon sight. I know my members, Jeno. You’re one of them that never misses a shot. You’re also quiet and reserved but you pay attention to every detail. That’s why nothing ever gets missed by you. Especially when it comes to your girlfriend” Taeyong explained, sipping on his coffee

“Nothing will happen to her. And how did you know that I was going to bring (y/n)?!” I asked

“Like I said, I know my members. But take it from someone who also has a significant other whilst being part of this, even though my girlfriend is part of our world, one thing for sure is that we will never be alright with them getting hurt. But the job is just as important, Jeno. I’m not saying that you neglect your girlfriend. I just want you to know that unless it’s just the two of you or it’s a completely cornered situation, don’t abandon or change your mission. I also have DoJaeJung to come with you since they’ll be attending their respective brands’ event” Taeyong mentioned. “So, I hope to not hear any killing. Not until you bring them back to me alive at least” Taeyong added on

Back to the Present

As I remembered my conversation with Taeyong hyung, the race finally started and I stepped on the gas, hard. Not only was my goal to win this race but I wasn’t going to let some frauds use our group’s name and get all the credit. No, I was going to make them look bad.

As I was halfway through my laps, I started to hear that other drivers and their cars were being hijacked and thus injuring the drivers. “Jen, that copycat of a group hijacked the other cars since they were the first to come. But Jaemin and I have already checked your car and removed everything that wasn’t supposed to be there. Yet, it looks like he knows that nothing is happening to your car so he’s catching up on you” I heard Haechan comment in my ear-in

“They don’t know that we’re actually part of NCT, right?” I asked, eyeing from my mirror and seeing the 712 guy catching up

“Nope. Just as Taeyong-hyung mentioned, they only know that you’re Lee Jeno the undefeatable racer from South Korea. They have no idea that you’re the Jeno Lee from NCT” Haechan replied

“Good. I’ll give them something to be worried about” I scoffed, stepping on the gas and seeing that 712 was still catching up through my left side and was leaning in until I saw the opportunity and put my car in reverse and went past their car as they hit the wall and I continued on and win the race

Going out of my car, I took off my helmet and was welcomed with a big hug from Haechan and Jaemin along with a wild roar from the crowd as the announcer announced that I was the winner. After taking a bow towards the crowd, I scanned through them and saw (y/n) who looked relieved to see me. Her smile was something that I noticed made me feel better throughout the past few days here and I would never want that genuine smile to ever turn to something else in a split second.

After the award ceremony was over, I shook hands with the other racers, thanking them for a good race up until Mr. 712 came and ruined the mood.

“Lee Jeno, is it?” 712 exclaimed, his team was trying to hold him back as Jaemin, Haechan and I just looked at them with a bored yet annoyed look that intimidated them

“Yes. And you are?” I questioned, raising my eyebrow

“The name is Brad. My team and I are part of NCT of the US branch” Brand proclaimed as Haechan scoffed

“Do you even know what NCT is? It’s South Korea’s mafia gang that managed to get the other mafia gang in the world at peace with how diverse the members are” Haechan explained as Jaemin slightly elbowed him

“Of course we know that. How do you think they were able to expand to the US? It was because of us. I just want to let you know that what you did back there was not cool and just you wait until the rest of our members here about this” Brand exclaimed

“Then why did you try to close in on me first? You were the one who started it, I was just merely getting myself away from any potential risks that could happen because of you. So don’t go around and blame me for what you started” I scoffed, slightly towering over the self-proclaimed NCT member

“Jeno!” I heard Renjun exclaim and as we all turned around, we saw Renjun, Yangyang, Shotaro and (y/n) coming towards us

“Is, is it a bad time?” I heard (y/n) mumbled but I softly grabbed her hand and rubbed her hand

“No, don’t worry. We were just done here” I replied, giving (y/n) my signature smile

“It was a good race, Brad. Hope that what happened today won’t happen ever again” I mentioned as I pull (y/n) to my side as all of us left the track

Back at the hotel, we all went to freshen up and had dinner together to celebrate my win and all but just being with (y/n) eases my clouded thoughts of Brad and the way that he looked at (y/n) when she came with the other members.

“Jen, eat up. You must be tired” (y/n) mentioned, nudging a spoon of mashed potatoes towards me which I smiled and ate the food she fed me

“Don’t worry babe, I was just driving, am not tired at all” I smiled at her as I fed her some pasta which she happily eat, showing off her little chipmunk cheeks

“Still, you woke up so early for the race. Eat up and then rest, okay?” (y/n) mentioned and I nodded

“Don’t talk about me when you haven’t eaten much at all young lady. I will not have you going back home without enjoying yourself. Now eat” I playfully threatened, feeding (y/n) some more food

“So this is your excuse for not helping me back there is because you got food for your girl?! No offense (y/n) but your man here is a selfish little ass because he clearly could’ve placed more food on the plate but noooo” Haechan dramatically complained, sitting next to (y/n) but I pulled her seat closer towards me

“You want food, Haechan? If I get you some and shove it down to your mouth, would you stop pestering my girlfriend?” I somewhat threatened and eyeing the playful boy but (y/n) held my hand to stop me. “Jen, stop. Haechan was just being playful” (y/n) warned me, her tone was scarier than usual that I instantly soften my looks

The rest of dinner went by quicker and by the end of it, we all drank a bit of alcohol which to (y/n) it was just another celebration but to the rest of us, it was to calm our nerves because after tonight, the real work actually begins.

Once dinner was over, we all went back to our own rooms just as me and (y/n) held hands together to our room. In the comfort of our room, I let loose of my colder exterior and hugged (y/n) from behind as she was in the bathroom and was trying to remove her makeup.

“Jen, I need to remove my makeup, if you want to hug me, you better not move unless you want me to go blind as I remove my eye makeup” (y/n) reminded me and we stayed in the position for a while

“Can’t help it babe, you’re gorgeous. I knew that dress would accentuate your beauty. Plus, you look hot when you’re slightly angry” I mumbled, kissing the back of (y/n)’s neck, nuzzling behind her as I hear her let out a breathy sigh

“Jen” (y/n) called out to me, turning around to face me as her back was pressed against the bathroom counter. “You drank quite a lot, didn’t you?” (y/n) asked, cupping my face

“Nope. I didn’t” I replied because it was true. “I’m sober” I added on, holding one of her palm and kissing it

“What’s wrong jen? Tell me. You don’t normally drink like you did today. You would drink in sips not in shots” (y/n) asked. She truly do know me well

Sighing, I hugged her waist while she softly stroked my hair which helped calm me better than the alcohol. After a while, I pulled away and gently lifted her to place her on the countertop so it would be easier to talk.

“Just some things on my mind, angel. How I worry whenever you’re alone without me. Not in a possessive kind. How I worry that my job might get in between us” I stated, there was some truth to it

“Jen. You don’t have to worry about me. You know that I’m okay with being alone sometimes. Even though it feels more homey and comfy with you. And don’t worry about your job getting in between us. I know how hard you’re working so that I don’t have to but I know you let me work so I can have my own savings as well. And for that I really wanna thank you and appreciate you. How you would often send my parents some money as well. You know, my parents asked me if you’ve popped the question and I told them that we’re young and we want to enjoy and explore many things together first” (y/n) replied, making me smile

“I’m glad that your parents approve of me. In their own way of course. And I will pop the question one day because I really can’t see myself with anyone else. You never question me or push me to be someone else. You would always be there and wait until I was ready to talk which makes me more comfortable and want to talk to you more. How has Milan been, little dove?” I confessed

“Dove?” (y/n) asked and I just chuckled. “Yea. Because how soft and pure you are. How you’re basically my peace, love to explore and enjoy your freedom whilst also giving your love to me. So, how has Milan been?” I explained

“It’s incredible because you were the one that brought me here. You’re the one that insist that I come and I’m glad you convinced me to because this is just as magical and as romantic as people describe Paris” (y/n) mentioned, placing her hands on my neck, slightly massaging it

“Good. I’m glad that you’ve been enjoying yourself a lot because I have a little gift for you. Since you already planned our first year anniversary back home. I decided to plan my own but in Milan. Here” I mentioned, pulling out a little box that I got so early in the morning and opened it which has a dainty necklace with 3 rings that were linked together and was custom-made since the gold ring had a custom small nct logo embossing on it as Taeyong’s request for all of us when we have a significant other.

“Jen….that’s expensive!! My whole outfit is already expensive enough. I can’t..” (y/n) complained but I sushed her by softly kissing her forehead

“Nonsense, dove. Nothing is as expensive as you yourself. You’re priceless. I want to because I want something for you to always remember me and our moment here in Milan” I softly replied. “May I?” I asked if it was alright to put the necklace on her and she nodded

Helping her down, (y/n) turned around, and held her hair as I gently put the necklace around her and locking it which to me, it symbolizes that I’m locked on her and as a reminder that she was my significant other and under nct’s protection.

“It’s beautiful, Jen. You really didn’t have to” (y/n) mumbled, admiring the necklace as I put my hands around her waist, admiring her through the mirror

“You’re beautiful. Can I kiss you? I know that you’re still shy when it comes to physical things and I completely understand if…” I rambled as (y/n) let go of my hold and turned around, softly pecking my lips

“With you, I think I’ve slowly tried to let loose more and enjoy every moment” (y/n) smiled which made me smile and gently cupped her face and leaned to finally close the gap between us. Something that I never imagine we would do during the beginning of our relationship.

As time pass, our kiss grew from something soft like the small waves by the beach, I slowly grew needier and slowly deepen the kiss, one of my hand was by her waist and one of (y/n)’s hair was going through my hair.

Before it can go any further, I pulled away first and softly caressed (y/n)’s cheek, making sure that she was alright with it. “Are you okay? Sorry, I got carried away. We can stop here if you want. And we can just end the night by cuddling whilst watching your favorite Disney movies” I suggested but was shocked by (y/n)’s sudden eagerness as she pulled my neck and our foreheads were touching

“Jen. I’m okay. I trust you, Nono. You have my green light” (y/n) replied which excited me that I kissed her forehead, cheek and jawline. “Tell me whenever you’re uncomfortable at any point, tell me, okay?” I asked but all I got was a nod so I gently pinched (y/n)’s chin. “Use your words, dove. I won’t continue anything if you don’t use your words” I whispered by her ear, hearing her softly whimper for the first time.

“I will, Jen. I’ll tell you if I feel uncomfortable” (y/n) softly moaned as I nibbled her ear. “Just call me, Nono, okay? I want you to feel comfortable. You’ll let me treat you, won’t you?” I mumbled, kissing right below (y/n)’s ear. “Yes, Nono”

Taking one more glance at (y/n), I licked my lips before diving in and kissing her as if that it would be the only time I get to. Without warning, I lifted her and wrapped her legs around my waist without detaching our lips and brought us to the bed where I sat down and let (y/n) sit on my lap.

As the atmosphere was getting hotter, I started to take off my jacket and unbutton my shirt which didn’t go unnoticed by (y/n) who softly pulled away to allow me to take off my top with more space. “Go ahead, dove, take it off” I stated, pushing some of (y/n)’s hair back

Though (y/n) was hesitant at first, I softly grabbed her hands and guided them and took off my shirt, leaving my bare chest for her to see. Seeing her flustered self was adorable because she looked so pure yet curious that I guided her hand on my chest before cupping her cheek and kissing her, ending our night on a much softer yet romantic note.

Sometime in the middle of the night, I woke up after a bad dream that something happened to (y/n). Looking beside me, I saw her figure sleeping soundly with my hoodie which made me feel relieved.

Unable to sleep, I decided to reply to some messages from Taeyong and the other members back in South Korea regarding the trip, any updates and progress. As I was replying to the other members and the group chat, Taeyong suddenly called me. Thankfully my phone was on do not disturb so I wouldn’t wake (y/n) up.

Answering the phone call, I went over towards the balcony so as to not disturb my girlfriend. “Hyung? Is everything alright?” I asked, closing the door to the balcony

“I should be the one asking you. Why are you up this early in the morning? Something happened?” Taeyong asked but I just chuckled

“No. Everything has been going great actually. I won the race, I spent my first year anniversary and gave (y/n) the necklace yet…” I rambled but Taeyong seemed to know more

“You’re worried that things will go to a wrong turn and you’ll end up hurting her and yourself. I know Jeno. I know how. you might feel. Why do you think I sent other members with you? 3 of them being your seniors” Taeyong replied

“Hyung…” I started but Taeyong didn’t let me continue. “I know how you might feel. I know that you want to enjoy your time with her and I’m sorry that you have to take part in this mission but that’s why I sent members with you. To keep you company, to support one another, and to help each other when things go for a wrong turn. She has the necklace with her so even in other countries, the mafia knows to not touch her. Plus, since we’re not the mafias’ enemies, they would help. Just so you know, the Italian mafia is going to be at the Ferragamo dinner tomorrow and I’ve already let them in on you being our representative. If anything were to happen to you or (y/n), they can help. Since they also are looking to take down that fraud of a group since one of them claims to be part of the Italian mafia” Taeyong explained

“Some cocky bastards they are” I scoffed, making Taeyong chuckled. “It’s going to be alright Jeno. And one day, when you do tell (y/n) everything, we’ll be there to help however we can. And remember…” Taeyong hyung mentioned. “Don’t kill them until I bring them back to you. Alive. I know. I won’t” I replied. “Good. Get some rest Jeno, I wish you all the best. If anything were to actually happen, I would know so you won’t have anything to worry about. I and the others would never abandon one another. Neo always got our back, okay? Good night, Jeno” Taeyong hyung replied, turning off the call

Smiling to myself, I quietly went back into the room but as I went back to the bed, my sudden weight must’ve shocked (y/n) that she woke up. “I’m so sorry, dove, did I accidentally wake you up?” I whispered, stroking her hair

“Nono? Are you okay? Why are you awake in the first place?” (y/n) asked as she slowly sat up on the bed but I pulled her close so her head was laying on my chest

“Had a bad dream and was replying to my work friends in South Korea” I replied as (y/n) hummed

“Dove. I want you to know that I love you so fucking much. That I would never abandon you and would never leave you completely alone” I started which confuses (y/n). “Jen, what are you talking about? Why are you talking as if something were to happen to you?” (y/n) asked, her face looking towards me with worry

“I just have a feeling, dove. Like I said, I worry that my job would get between us. With what I’m doing, there are actually other things that you haven’t known yet but I want to tell you one day which I hope you’ll understand why I haven’t been telling you. But let’s just say that I’m part of something bigger than just a racer. Though it might sound illegal, we really aren’t. But one thing is for sure, I would always prioritize your safety above all. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, whoever you’re with, no matter what, I will make sure that you’re alright. So please promise me that if anything were to happen and I wasn’t the one to help you, it’s not that I don’t love or care for you. But it’s really because I’m caught up. But please know that whoever is there to help you is someone that I trust to bring us back together” I rambled and expected (y/n) to question me further but instead, she kissed right by my jawline.

“Jen, I know that there might be something you’re keeping from me and while I have my guesses, I want you to be ready whenever you do tell me. Trust me when I say that whatever it is that you do, it doesn’t change my mind how I feel about you. Maybe I might get angry and upset but at the end of the day, you were there for me and the fact that you’re telling me this before anything shows me how much you really care about me and our relationship. Just promise that you’ll always come back to me?” (y/n) replied making me melt in her embrace

“Fuck. What did I do to deserve you?! I don’t even think that I myself would be able to distance myself from you, dove. You’ll always make it feel as if we just met” I admitted, softly lifting (y/n) up a bit so I could kiss her before we go back to our slumber.

Waking up the next morning, I kissed (y/n)’s forehead as she snuggled closer to me, making me chuckle. “Dove, I’ll order us some breakfast, okay? Well, more so brunch since it’s 10 already. What do you want to eat?” I asked, stroking her hair as I took the hotel phone to call room service

“Anything is alright, Nono. I ate so much the other day so let’s not order too much” (y/n) yawned which made me laugh

Once room service came, I got notified that the stylist along with hair & makeup were on their way since our “dinner” was at 5 pm and it was basically lunchtime by the time our food came. After taking turns to shower and get ready, our food arrives along with the styling team.

Because I had simpler makeup, I finished first and went to the bathroom to change as (y/n) finished getting her hair and makeup done. I wore a black suit with the jacket being a long coat that basically covered the rest of my clothing and my hair was rather slicked but had bangs to frame my face.

When I came out, I saw (y/n) just about finished with her hair and makeup and she absolutely looked breathtaking. I stood behind her as her hair & makeup team moved out of the way. “You look stunning, dove” I whispered, admiring her from the mirror, seeing her turning into the same shade as her blush

“Look who’s talking, Mr Ferragamo’s Brand Ambassador” (y/n) teased as I wrapped my arms around her shoulder, kissing the side of her temple

“Let me change, Jen. The stylist is gonna get angry” (y/n) mentioned, getting up and releasing my grip around her

“If they scold you, I’ll scold them back. No one scolds my girl when I’m around” I replied back as (y/n) went into the bathroom to get change

Not long after, she came out with a gorgeous white shirt and black vest with a flowy black skirt to match my black and white attire along with black boots and a small white and gold handbag. I held (y/n)’s free hand which she linked our fingers together and I let her do a little twirl as the photographer photographed our little moment together.

We took several more photos and then I took a commercial video for Ferragamo and afterwards we both thank all the staff for helping us get ready as we both headed out for dinner with Ferragamo.

Because I was the only one invited, I brought (y/n) as my plus one whereas the other members were on a lookout for the fraud group. Linking our hands together, we were on our way to the restaurant that Ferragamo had booked.

Arriving at the restaurant, I mentioned my name and the staff immediately directed us towards a more secluded yet decorative area. I felt (y/n)’s hand held mine a bit tighter which I know is because of her nervousness and social anxiety. Before going in, I took her hand and kissed her forearm, calming her down. “I’m here, dove. I’m not leaving you. I would never leave you knowing that you’re willing to come with me. Or, if you’re really nervous, we can ditch this fancy dinner and just grab some McDonalds?” I suggested but (y/n) just chuckled

“I’m okay. A. bit nervous but am alright now. The brand might be pissed if they know their global brand ambassador is out eating McDonalds instead of this dinner that was dedicated towards him” (y/n) reminded me, making me smile

Inside the room, I was immediately greeted by the Ferragamo staff and creative director of Ferragamo. Along with the basic greetings, I introduced (y/n) to them who all complimented about her beauty, making me smile with pride.

The both of us were then directed to the center of the long table right beside the creative director of Ferragamo and right as we were seated, the door opened to someone who I did not expect to see at all. Brad from that fraud group.

That fake smile of his as he introduced himself to everyone made my blood boil, my whole body tensed up that (y/n) had to calm me by rubbing my hand in her small ones. I know something was off because I don’t remember seeing Brad at any other events of Ferragamo that I have been to before.

“Jen, you alright? You look like you might kill someone” (y/n) asked as she placed her hand on mine

“I’m okay, dove” I reassured her, looking at her worried face. “Can you do me a favour?” I asked and she nodded. “I know it might be confusing but whatever happens, don’t interact with him. Don’t talk to him, don’t get close to him” I mentioned, looking over at Brad while (y/n) followed my gaze

“Please. Just this one time. Don’t question me, alright? That’s all I ask you just this one time” I mentioned and (y/n) just looked at me softly. “I won’t. I trust you. If you’re already using this tone and saying no then I know that you mean well. I won’t interact with him” (y/n) replied, making me sigh in relief and kissed her temple

Throughout dinner, I kept on eyeing Brad who sat further down the table but he just looked at me with this creepy smile that I wanted to punch so badly but I had to remember my mission especially since the Italian mafia were also here which I had to find because Taeyong-hyung only gave me some descriptions of the man and not an actual clear image of him.

Skimming through the room as we ate, I think I finally found the man that I was looking for. But because I was unsure of leaving (y/n) alone I waited for her but it seemed that she noticed about my eagerness to go somewhere.

“Jen, I’m not going to go anywhere. I don’t know anyone except for you. If you want to go see someone which I think you do, just go. I’ll be here, okay? Or even if I do go, I’d probably go to the bathroom” (y/n) mentioned, stopping her eating session

“Are you sure? I’m completely alright with waiting for you, dove” I replied but she shook her head. “I’m fine. Go, jen. Before you miss them” (y/n) ushered me which made me smile and kiss her head. “I’ll be right back, okay? Enjoy your dinner. I’ll have someone send over some dessert for you, alright?” I replied, kissing her head again and left to see if my intuition was correct about the Italian mafia.

Going up towards a tall older Korean male who was also wearing a custom Ferragamo suit but with a custom embroidery of the Italian mafia family by the cuffs. “Mr Cassano?” I asked as the man in the suit turned around and I finally noticed some of the other “guests” looking at us

“And you are?” the man asked, surprisingly in Korean

“Jeno. Lee Jeno. You are Mr. Cassano of the Cassano family, right?” I half-whispered so that not everyone can hear me

“Your leader told me that you were a smart and keen person. Looks like you are smarter than you look because I actually expected someone older but you have my respect” Mr Cassano replied, extending his hand and I took it to shake

The two of us then continued our conversation while I would look at (y/n) every now and then who was talking with the creative director. As our conversation got more serious, Mr. Cassano instructed me to follow him somewhere more private but I took a look at (y/n) who was still sitting so I decided to text her.

Me: “I’m going to talk with someone for a bit, are you still alright dove?”

(y/n): “Yeap, am alright. Just had a little sip of rose. I don’t like it though. I’m going to go to the toilet for a bit”

Me: “Alright, let me know if you need anything. And yea, looks like you still don’t like alcohol. I’ll have someone bring you some orange juice instead”

(y/n): “Thank you, Nono. I’ll be okay. I’ll be right back. If I’m not back in 5 minutes then I might be puking the alcohol out”

Me: “Don’t make me worry, Dove. I’ll come back and find you in 5 minutes”

Mr Cassano and I then went to a more private area of the restaurant to talk a bit more and just as I was about to mention Brad being here, there was a sudden power fuse making everyone in a panic state that I excused myself from Mr Cassano to check up on (y/n) in the bathroom yet I could sense someone coming to attack both me and Mr Cassano.

Grunting, I turned back and helped take down the mediocre group that was probably from Brad’s group yet didn’t kill them and even prevent any of Mr Cassano’s men from killing them.

“Why don’t you put them out permanently?” Mr Cassano questions as his men gathered the group

“Because my leader wants them alive and I very much would like to be present when they’re being questioned and perhaps even tortured for being a fraud and using our group’s name for their personal pleasure” I mentioned as Mr Cassano nodded in understanding

“Thank you for helping me. If you need any help, contact me” Mr Cassano mentioned, handing me his phone number

“If it’s alright, please send them over to South Korea to my leader first. I’ll deal with the ring leader” I asked and Mr Cassano nodded. “Done. Go find your girlfriend, kid” Mr Cassano mentioned and I bowed back out of respect before rushing to the bathroom to find (y/n).

Before going into the bathroom, I contacted my members to standby, help with the power fuse and guide everyone out of the restaurant.

“Jen, we’re already on our way and Renjun is working on the power fuse, what’s the situation?” Jaemin asked

“I took down some of Brad’s minions but I don’t see him or the 2 others that were with him during the race. I’m going to the bathroom to look for (y/n)” I replied

“Jen, wait for us, we’re almost there” Haechan exclaimed but I couldn’t care because I need to make sure that (y/n) was alright

Barging into the bathroom, I prepared my gun just in case anyone tried anything and at the slightest sound, I immediately pointed my gun towards it until I heard a shuffling sound. “(y/n)? Dove? Talk to me, love” I called out but there was no sound from her which made me grow worry

As I was about to check each of the stalls, I noticed a shadow from the mirror and instantly turned to fight against whoever it was that tried to sneak up on me. Noticing that the man held a syringe, I grabbed his wrists and made sure that he dropped the syringe before I kicked his legs from behind and pointed a gun towards his temple.

“Where is she?! Where did Brad go? Tell me or I’ll take my time to torture you” I growled but when the man didn’t say anything, I shot his kneecaps just enough so that he would feel the pain

“Talk. Now. While I still have the patience with you” I demanded

“H-he drugged her. He’s, he’s taking her back to his hotel. W-we were supposed to drug you as well because he was salty that you won” the man finally talked and I hit him towards the wall to knock him out right as Haechan came in

“Jen…woaaaaa, d-did you?” Haechan asked. “No. Taeyong would punish me if I killed anyone tonight. He said that Brad took (y/n) to his hotel” I growled, putting my gun back in my pocket, making my way out to see that everyone had already left the restaurant

“Renjun…” I mentioned. “Heard you the first time you confronted him. Yangyang, Jaemin and Shotaro are on their way along with Jungwoo-hyung” Renjun replied

“Send me the address, my job isn’t done until I get Brad so I’m technically going to kill two birds with one stone. Well, without the killing at least” I mentioned and Renjun sent me the address

“You sure it’s a good idea? It could be an ambush” Haechan replied and I checked my phone for (y/n)’s location because her necklace had a tracker on it

“I’m getting my girlfriend and putting that no good of a fraud down. They’re still on their way. Which means I can catch up to them” I stated, taking off my coat as both me and Haechan head towards the back alley where Renjun is

“We’ll tail you from behind. Doyoung and Jaehyun-hyung are handling the Italian mafia to ensure everyone is out of the restaurant and create some sort of story about this incident. Taeyong-hyung also mentioned that the Italian mafia already has someone on their way to clean up the mess” Renjun stated as I changed into the nct mission gear

“I’ll be after Brad since Jaemin and the others are waiting at the hotel, I’m sure that Brad would take a detour and I don’t intend to lose my girlfriend or him” I stated as I put on my helmet and took some things before leaving the van and headed to one of our rented cars

Turning on the maps with the tracker, I placed my phone right on the stand and raced to where (y/n)’s tracker said it was. “Hang on, dove. I’m coming” I muttered, putting in the gears and racing off

It didn’t take me long to get to where the tracker said it was because of the quiet street at night and because the police gave permission to let me pass due to my car’s plate number. I knew that Brad would be taking a detour because Jaemin mentioned that he and the others took care of the rest of his little minions. Stopping right in front of their moving car, they finally took a sharp turn to stop.

Getting out of my car, I shot every single one of the wheels to make sure that they couldn’t escape through their car before I could get through their door, the back door opened and it was Brad along with 2 of his friends who were holding an unconscious (y/n).

Seeing her unconscious figure made my blood boil so I pointed my gun towards Brad. “Let her go or I’ll shoot you myself” I mentioned

“Jeno, jeno, are you sure about that?” Brad chuckled, snapping his fingers and one of his men held a pocket knife right by (y/n)’s throat making my whole body tense but I analysed this situation multiple times before that I knew that I just needed to hold out long enough until my team came

“You’re a fucking coward you know that? Using an innocent girl to get to me? Man up and fight me without using a hostage. But that’s right, you can’t even man up and try to win the race on your own. You had to sabotage the other racers with illegal weapons that you got through abusing the NCT name which you clearly are not in” I ranted, not lowering my weapon one bit even when Brad had a tantrum

“Oh, so you think you’re part of that group? Look at you! Telling people that they can’t do shit but where the hell did you get those weapons and that car anyways? Maybe you’re also using the NCT name like me. Perhaps we are alike than you think” Brad scoffed, coming closer. “I mean, you and I have the same taste in women anyway. Sad that your girl is asleep, it would be more interesting when she’s awake, don’t you agree?” Brad tormented and I gave in because the next second, I punched that smirk off his face with my gun, beginning a long fistfight between the two of us.

Unlike Brad, I had proper combat training so I managed to dodge all of his attacks and landed quite a hard blow on his weak spots; his stomach, the back of his knee, his ankles and his chest (right below his lungs). It wasn’t long until his 2 minions abandoned (y/n) and came to help their little leader which didn’t turn out great for them either.

If Brad was the so-called leader of his group, then his minions were nothing to me. I was clearly on the winning streak with the amount of blows I managed to land on all three of them but when (y/n) slowly regained her consciousness is when I started to get a bit distracted; especially when she called out my name in a weak tone.

“Jeno…” I heard (y/n) uttered which made me stop and rushed towards her half-unconscious figure

“Dove?? Are you okay? What happened? Never mind that, let’s get you out of here, hmm?” I cooed, slowly trying to lift (y/n) and failed to notice a sneaky ambush behind me until I felt a sharp pain on my neck did I turned and elbowed one of Brad’s minions

“Jen….” (y/n) muttered, probably out of worry because she saw me holding onto my neck and taking out the syringe

“Just a minute, dove. I’m okay” I managed to utter, standing back up and actually knocking all three of them unconscious before whatever drug was injected into me actually took effect

Thankfully, my team arrived just in time right as I started to feel hot and my mind was a bit foggy with the only thought being getting (y/n) and leaving this place immediately.

“Jeno!!!” I heard Jungwoo-hyung exclaimed and helped support me

“(y/n), get her out of here and to our room” I uttered and Jungwoo-hyung asked Shotaro to help (y/n) as Yangyang made sure that the backup men get Brad and his minions into the car to be detained first.

After what felt to be the longest night I’ve ever had, we finally reached back to our hotel and I took (y/n) from Shotaro and brought her to our room as Jungwoo-hyung told me to rest as he get the sample of both mine and (y/n)’s blood from Renjun to find out what drug was in our system.

⚠️Trigger Warning! Skip if you're uncomfortable

Once I closed the door to our room, I laid (y/n) down on the bed as she was still practically unconscious while I felt that my body got hotter with every second passing, especially when I saw (y/n). All I could practically think was how I wanted to kiss her so badly and how I wanted to make the both of us feel better. But most importantly, how I wanted to rip all of our clothing and take her then and there which sounded more animalistic than my usual composed self.

Trying to snap myself out of this thought, I tried to go to the bathroom and shower to cool down but instead, it only made me feel even hotter than I already was. Grunting, I put my clothes on and hoped to just sleep off whatever this drug made me feel.

But as soon as I went over to the bed, all I could think was ruining (y/n). My mind and actions contradict each other and in the end, lust won over me and before I knew it, I was already hovering on top of (y/n) right as she slowly regained consciousness.

“J-jen?!” (y/n) exclaimed, her tone was scared which I didn’t like but my body took control over me and one of my hands took her hands, pinning them above her head as my other hand slowly pulled her vest off of her

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me” I cried, trying to close my eyes but my whole body betrayed me right when I took off her vest and slowly unbuttoned her shirt while my lips made their way to her jawline down to her neck and on her collarbone as I heard (y/n) whimpered underneath me, making my shaft harder than it already is.

“Jennn….s-stoppp, please” (y/n) started to cry but for some reason it turned me on even more and right as I nearly unbuttoned her shirt, the door to our room was unlocked and I was pulled away by a strong grip around my neck

“Jeno, sorry about this” I heard Jaehyun-hyung mention and I saw Jaemin wrapping (y/n) with a blanket around her to cover her up before I passed out

❗️End of trigger warning

The next time I was awake, I was in a different room and was practically chained to the bed as I remembered the incident of the previous day, immediately trashing around, trying to figure out where the hell I was until I heard a familiar voice.

“Are you back to your normal self or are you horny like an animal going into heat?” Jaehyun-hyung asked and I grunted, hitting my head back on the pillow

“I’m okay, physically now. But I’m not mentally or emotionally okay until I see (y/n)” I grunted

“Not until I know that you’re actually not in the wrong state because you have to know that you hurt her and I don’t think that you want to hurt her anymore” Jaehyun-hyung stated

“How long was I out? Did Renjun manage to get me medicine or an antidote?” I asked, mentally cursing myself for hurting (y/n) in one of the worst ways possible

“You’ve been out for almost 12 hours, had to give you anesthesia ****to make sure that you wouldn’t wake up until Renjun had the proper medicine. Don’t worry about the fraud group, we already have them all. We’ll also be leaving back to South Korea tomorrow. Also, we’ve already injected you with the antidote. I was asking just to make sure that there isn’t any leftover effect” Jaehyun-hyung stated, opening all of the chains

“Where is she? Who’s with her? She’s not alone, right?!” I asked, eager to get out and find (y/n) to apologise for what I did

“Go shower first and regain your composure. You’re going to need it” Jaehyun-hyung suggested, handing me some clothing to shower

After showering and changing everything, Jaehyun-hyung finally allowed me to go back to my room and to see (y/n) which he said that the 00 liners are with her whereas Doyoung and Jungwoo-hyung were dealing with sending the fraud group back to South Korea.

“I’m not the best at giving advices like Taeyong does and I don’t want to come off as the cold senior but do know that we all would always look out for each other and help each other whenever the other messes up. But know that it wasn’t your fault. Yes, you hurt her but you didn’t really have a choice. Your drug made you wild and animalistic. You had no control over the lust that was controlling your body. (y/n) knows it too and I doubt she’d blame you for what happened. Don’t hurt yourself over what already happened. That’s all I can advise” Jaehyun-hyung rambled, opening the door to our room as the others looked at me and bid their farewell to (y/n) who was sitting on the bed

“She’s not angry. She’s just overwhelmed” Jaemin whispered, patting my shoulder as everyone left me with (y/n)

I slowly walked towards (y/n) who was calling out to me but I kept my head hung low because I felt that I didn’t deserve to see her after what I had done. Instead, my legs gave up and I was kneeling in front of her feet by the bed which confused her but I didn’t let her say anything until I let out everything that I was feeling.

“I’m sorry, dove. I’m so fucking sorry. I ruined everything. I hurt you. I did something without your consent. I traumatised you in every way possible. I got you into a mess and instead of being the knight and shining armour, I was worse than the villain. You might forgive me or not it’s fine because I would never forgive myself for what I did. Getting you into the mess was one thing. Getting you drugged, kidnapped and nearly raped you is something that will forever haunt me and I don’t deserve to face you after what I did” I cried out, my bangs covering my blurry sight from her

“Jen….please look at me. I, I’m not angry, Jen. I, I was scared if anything. Not scared of what you might do to me but scared of what happened to the Jeno that I’ve known and fallen for. I was scared that my Jeno would be gone. I’m scared that my Jeno would just leave instead of fighting because I know that you didn’t mean what happened. You didn’t go too far, Jen. I know you were resisting. Please, just don’t leave me. I don’t want my Nono to leave” (y/n) cried out, her hands cupped my face as I felt my body tense

Not being able to look away from her for too long, I eventually looked up to see (y/n) who was crying as well. Her wrists were still red from what I did along with her neck that I accidentally marked. Slowly, I stood back up and cupped her face in mine.

“How, how can you want me back after what I did? Whether I was under the drug influence or not, I still hurt you. I nearly did something so animalistic without your consent. I’ve tainted you and I’m giving you a chance to leave me to find someone better. I failed to protect you” I uttered, my hands were shaking

“No one could ever replace you, Jen. You resisted, I know you did” (y/n) replied. “I tried to resist but clearly I failed. What if my friend didn’t come and pulled me back? What if I went too far? Would you still want me?” I asked, my eyes were on her mark as if it was a mockery towards what kind of person I became

“It wasn’t you. You’re not to blame, Jeno. You still protected me, remember? You promised that if you weren’t there to protect me, you would send someone you know and trust to do so, even if it is against you. Even when you couldn’t, you still did, Jeno. Why can’t you see that? Why can’t you see how much I trust and love you? If I leave you, you won’t be okay and neither will I knowing that you keep beating yourself up. You’ve taken care of me, let me return the favour” (y/n) rambled, standing up and bringing me closer to her

“If I ever, somewhere down the line, ever hurt you like this again. Be it physically, mentally or emotionally. Whether I’m conscious or under influence. Kill me. I’d rather die in your arms knowing that at least the woman I love is finally free of me and I would never love anyone else even in my next life than live my life knowing that I’m the sole reason for all those bad memories and scars. Promise me you’d do that and continue to live your life” I half-whispered, shakily holding her hands that were on my face

“It won’t ever come to that. I know that you will always have a backup plan. And I doubt your friends/members would allow you to go that far after today. Now can we please enjoy our last day while we can?” (y/n) half-joked, making both of us chuckle and I nodded, allowing her to take the lead and kiss me this time. A kiss to our new year as a couple and a reminder to remember and learn of our past to live our life in the present and better ourselves for the future.

Seoul, South Korea - 1:27 am

The sound of loud heavy boots echoed throughout the hallway up until the room where NCT would keep those who have wronged them and many other innocent people. A room that is meant for those to remember of their past, atone for themselves in the present and perhaps get another chance for the future.

“I swear, they’re just pretending to be asleep at this point. It’s been 16 hours since they landed and I know for a fact that Jeno didn’t kill them” Haechan grunted. “I mean look, they’re breathing completely fine”

“We can’t act rashly, remember that time Zennie noona was captured by a mole and opposing gang? Taeyong-hyung was ready to kill anyone if he didn’t get the chance to be satisfied first” Hendery reminded the younger one

“Plus, wouldn’t Jeno would want to do it himself even if they’re not awake yet?” Yuta questioned

“Well, we’re only going to be splashing some ice-cold water on their face or maybe just nail their hands onto the chair. We’re not actually going to kill them. Just to make sure they’re awake for what’s actually coming” Haechan suggested

“Then do it, Haechan” Taeyong stated, the sound of his boots along with Mark, Kun, Ten, Johnny and Chenle’s followed right behind him

“H-hyung…I, I was just joking about the nailing part” Haechan chuckled dryly as his leader walked towards the entire group of frauds

“Well, I’m not. Wake them up by whatever means necessary. Just avoid any of their vital parts. Safe that for Jeno” Taeyong instructed, slowly backing away to allow the playful member to do what he does best

“Welp, you heard the leader” Haechan shrugged, slightly grazing the nail over Brad’s arm which made the tied man scream

“WAITTT!! STOPPP!! WE’RE AWAKE. WE’RE AWAKE” Brad screamed but his voice only echoed within the room

“Ahh, looks like the clown is finally awake now” Haechan chuckled, a sinister smirk forming on his face as Brad and his members nervously took in at the situation they were in

“W-WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS? RIGHT?! WE DIDN’T ACTUALLY HURT ANYONE. ISN’T IT ILLEGAL TO HURT SOMEONE WHO ISN’T FULLY GUILTY?” Brad tried to reason as Taeyong sat on his chair in front of all the weapons laid out and his members were surrounding Brand and his members

“Illegal? You really want to talk about what’s legal and not? With me?” Taeyong scoffed

“I, I mean, isn’t, isn’t NCT as a whole basically illegal? My parents wouldn’t sit tight knowing their son, the only heir to their company is gone missing” Brad rambled as all the NCT members laughed and giggled but stopped at Taeyong’s hand command

“Ahh, your parents. Right. Your dad is also a fraud who fakes his business by killing his rival whereas your mom, is another fraud who sells fake luxury items to people while she gets to live the luxury? Don’t worry, mommy and daddy will reunite with you soon. Since clearly the entire family seems to be rotten to the core” Taeyong stated, making Brad quiver in fear

“Not technically guilty, huh? You misused our name just because no one knows who the actual members are except for me, Mark of DREAM and Kun of WayV. Not only did you misuse our name for your personal pleasure, you tried to cheat at an international grand prix, you sabotaged other racer’s cars, nearly made one of my core members get into an accident which you became salty when he won and proceeded to drug his girlfriend and himself yet you still want to talk about not being actually guilty? To my face?!” Taeyong growled, pushing himself off his seat and made his way in front of Brad

“I-it was a mistake. I know that now. Taeyong. I mean Sir? Please don’t kill me” Brad begged

“Does living really mean something to you?” Taeyong questioned, raising his eyebrow

“Y-yes. I promise I will atone for what I did. I’ll go to jail and reflect on what I’ve done” Brad pleaded

“What are you pleading for?” Taeyong asked again, this time he went behind Brad and patted his shoulders. “I’m not going to let you die. I’m not that heartless to let you and your little gang here die” Taeyong chuckled as Brad and his members also chuckled. “But I didn’t say anything about letting him have his way with you” Taeyong added right as the door opened and Jeno, Jaemin and Yangyang came into the scene making Brad and his members whimper in fear

“Killing you is far too easy and frankly, I don’t have the mercy to do that. You’ll all pay for what you did. To my members, to my group’s name, to me, to my girlfriend. And especially what you made me do to her. I’ll make you regret what you did. How about we start by drugging you with the same thing you drug me and not letting you cum in anyway possible while I take my sweet time in making sure you remember about your sins here” Jeno growled, putting on his glove

A/N: well, this took a lot out of me :)) 11k words. My longest fanfic so far but I hope that everyone enjoyed reading it T^T I've missed writing these kind of fics because I become so into and invested into the storytelling but I hope that it was just as enjoyable as I wrote it. Stay safe and healthy and hopefully I'll be back for another fic (preferably a Jaemin one cause man is getting buffed to quick) xoxo Vinet

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rafecameronsslxt · 1 year

Text

Pretty

Rafe Cameron x Virgin! Reader

Synopsis: A sweet girl falling for a man like Rafe Cameron leads to nefarious gazes as you and Rafe walk out sweaty and red lipstick covered on his neck.

Warnings: Thigh riding, slight corruption?, Angst at the end.

A/N: Making a part two because why not? Also, the request fan fictions will be out tomorrow.

An hour before your parent's event, your brother was nowhere to be seen. It was the most significant advancement for their company to expand and aggrandize. More or less, Rose asked you to find Rafe, and knowing he was with your brother, you ran in your ruby-red Christian Louboutins if running was concluded to waddling in the Country Club, all eyes, failing to look at their girlfriends and to you instead. Most girls give you dirty looks, their eyes falling on your body. Having everyone stare at you was never intentional, but you also never noticed.

There they sat in casual clothes, talking with each other. “Nathan, our parents need us to be there. Where is your suit?” You knitted your brows together. “We’re living precariously,” Nathan said with a lively tone as Rafe snorted, receiving amused looks from both of them. You sigh at the childish behavior. You shift on your heels, becoming uncomfortable in the sun's warmth, illuminating the highlighter and Chanel red lipstick. You bite your lower lip, looking at Rafe, who has barely said a word to you as usual.

Anytime you were around, he’d get quiet, unwilling to look at you. “We’ll go.” Rafe glanced at Nathan, who stood up, leaving you behind to catch up. You were practically just the younger sister in every situation because, as people said, you were entirely sweet and innocent though it was true.

You couldn’t help but let your eyes wander to the man before you, watching his tanned arms flex almost too perfectly in the grey and black shirt, showing off every vein in his forearm while he adjusted his grey backward hat. You saw Rafe every day. Whether it was at your house or his or during your morning jog, he was always in your line of sight.

You once asked your parents what they thought about the Cameron boy, and they worded their sentence, carefully trying not to bash him as your parents were good friends of Rose and Ward Cameron, but to say the least, they are not fond of him and wished your brother wouldn’t hang around with such bad influence as Rafe Cameron, so why would you want a man like him? A man who would only break your pure heart.

We arrived at the house, but you had to get going quickly. You couldn’t help but feel deep sadness as you walked out the door. Did Rafe hate you? You called Kiara to pick you up, hoping she would advise you. You barely had any boy experience, and it shames you because you’re nineteen and dated only one guy just for him to drop you for another girl, but he quickly got put in his place by your brother and Rafe…

“Doesn’t even GLANCE AT YOU! You’re drop-dead gorgeous. Who couldn’t like you? But, wait, who is he?” Kiara’s jaw dropped, and she gestured her hands all over.

You smile at Kie’s reaction but tauten as you’ve been edging around Rafe’s name. Kiara would freak out if she knew it was Rafe, you fancy. “I don’t- remember his name.” You rub your neck nervously, stuttering over words. “What?” Her lip arches in confusion as she parks her car, and we get out. You avoid the comment. “Ok… Since you don’t want to reveal the mystery man, I must find my parents.” She pulls you in for a short-lived hug and disappears into the crowd, leaving you alone.

You go to the front, lifting the red floral summer dress in hopes you won't fall as your parents start their speech, causing everyone to go quiet. They talk about how grateful and happy they are to make it where they are, but a fragrance envelops you, cedar and Caledonian sandalwood, and to your knowledge of cologne, it's from Chanel, and the scent entices you to turn your head only to be met by a pristine Rafe. His towering body glances down at you, feeling flustered. You avert your eyes back at your overjoyed parents.

Once they announce who they're partnering with, the mass breaks out into a cheer, and you clap, smiling, proud of your parents, and everyone begins to split into groups again. Your bones feel strained, and butterflies appear in your stomach, only for you to stumble backwards, landing in Rafe’s arms, then moving to hold your waist. “I’m so sorry- I’ve been really uncoordinated today.” You give him a thin smile, but the smile fades, deterring you from thinking optimistically about his reaction and the atmosphere surrounding you and Rafe. It wasn’t anger or enmity, but it felt tense and something else you couldn’t place as he leaned down to your ear, his breath light. “I’m going to ruin you, pretty girl.” Your body stiffens as he places a feathery kiss on your red lips, yet a bright red stain marks his. Rafe smirks at your cherry face, but his blue eyes are a dark sea, and his jaw sharpens.

Rather than leaving, he intertwines his hand with yours, taking you to an extensive vacant room crammed with spare decorations and chairs. You don’t realize you're holding your breath until Rafe brings you onto his thigh. Your heart is palpitating, and butterflies have become aching for him. The room is cold, making you shudder. Rafe’s gaze is piercing as you try to get comfortable, but wiggling around on his thigh is futile and instead stirs a quiet moan from you.

You feel embarrassed. “You know how pretty you look like this? You know how long I’ve wanted you?” His low voice mumbles into your lips, and he places his large hands on your waist, pulling you farther up his thigh. You relax into his soothing touch, but the nervousness doesn’t leave. You’ve never had sex or have done this before; Rafe guides your hips back and forth, creating friction between his thigh and your clothed clit. You whimper against his lips as you start to move into the rhythm of his hands.

You feel selfish for letting him do all the work, so you bring your hand to his tangible erection and start palming him through his dress pants. His size makes your eyes widen, Rafe was a big guy, but his length was impressive. “Fuck- you don’t have to do that, pretty girl,” Rafe grunts out while your movements against his thigh become swifter. “I want to.” You moan into the sickening sweet yet dirty kiss as he slips his tongue into your mouth, greedily accepting it. You gasp, pressing your body harder into his thigh but keeping your languid pace on his cock. Your legs feel weaker as pressure builds up in your stomach, and the throbbing initiates burning in your lower abdomen. “Rafe-” You wrap an arm around his neck, and your face is hidden in the nape, mouth open and pressing your plump lips to his Adam's apple. His hands grip your waist indefinitely to leave a red imprint.

“My good, pretty girl. Only for me, hmm?” He rasps out through grunts. You nod; words would be incomprehensible in the condition you are in. Edging release until the pure gravelly voice of Rafe pushes you over the boundary, officially connecting yourself with the Cameron man in more ways than you ever thought would happen. You are spasming around nothing; adrenaline is still coursing through the white splotches as you pant. Despite Rafe not receiving much, he has a dazed look in his eye, and you lay your forehead on his. But you see hesitation cover his relaxed complexion.

What are we? The question is a broken record in your head. You didn’t want a hookup with Rafe. You trust he won’t take advantage of you, but you hold him to higher standards. Rafe would never do that to you. Yet, Rafe must see your wheels turning because he reassures you. “I like you, pretty girl.” His thumb hovers over your lips, outlining them until you recognize the red lipstick gleaming on his neck, lips, and cheeks. Your jaw drops. Your widened eyes look to Rafe’s calmed ones. You put your hand under his jaw, lift his head, and take a picture of all the marks to show him, to which he shrugs. “Your lipstick is smeared too, pretty girl. There’s no bathroom, so we’ll just have to go out.” You wobbly stand up from his thigh and timidly raise a brow at the noticeable strain in his black dress pants.

He stands up, unzipping his pants. “Rafe-” He doesn’t answer. Instead, he brings down a hand and starts rearranging, tucking his hard-on under the waistband of his boxers. “Let’s go, pretty girl,” Rafe says carelessly, slinging his arm around your shoulder, not wasting time on your answer or pleas.

It’d be an understatement to say all eyes were on you. Everyone criticizes you with sharp eyes, and you decide you are lucky you aren’t under eighteen because your parent's face drops, livid at the sight of Rafe’s neck and your puffy lips. Kiara is stunned, and your protective brother begins to walk you out, with Rafe following. “I can take her home, man.” Nathan is coldly stern as Rafe leans down to kiss you softly and wave him off. You take off the ruby-red pumps, placing them on the floor of Nathan’s truck.

“Why Rafe? Rafe Cameron, of all people, you had to get involved with him. What changed in the last hours to have you walking out like that!? Do you realize how pissed Mom will be? Jesus, did you guys seriously have sex? You berated me for barely making it, but you could barely stay and got my friend's dick wet instead.”

“We didn’t have sex! You can sleep with fifty girls, but I get with Rafe, which becomes a problem. What the fuck, Nate!” You’re not one to scream, but the circumstances quickly overwhelm you. A disgusted look holds on your face, not at Nathan but yourself. You throw your hands into the air, pinching the bridge of your nose, tears threatening to fall because of how embarrassed you’ve become of the situation, not weighing the consequences or reactions.

The orange sky had slipped away to a dark starry night, and few cars were on the road. The rest of the drive had been eerily silent until Nathan pulled into the driveway, and we finally reached the front door.

“Rafe is not a good guy. We know this. You. Know. This. But if you like him as your brother and friend, I support you, and I’m sorry for being a dick.” You can’t explain how much you love your brother for comforting you and being open to your relationship with Rafe. Nate tightly wraps his arms around your waist as if he is losing a piece of you, but he is open-minded to the new chapter that will begin in your life, with or without the people around you.

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron smut #rafe fanfiction #rafe outer banks #obx smut #rafe cameron imagine #obx angst #obx rafe cameron

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bejeweledblondie · 7 months

Text

König Headcannons

A/N: just like Ghost’s headcannon’s I’m taking inspiration from my experiences living on a military base

Warnings: NSFW

König x F! Reader

• König initially first met you while you were volunteering with the United Nations & Doctors Without Borders

• you were administering vaccines to children in the Middle East, & providing medical services to the underprivileged communities

• he was awe of your empathy & kindness towards these children, you treated them like they were your own & took your job super seriously

• KorTac was providing security for the community from potential terrorist attacks, as taking any western countries citizen for ransom seemed enticing

• After a surprise attack on the camp that was set up, he immediately brought you to safety & held you as you sobbed into chest out of fear for your life & all those innocent civilians that caught in the gunfire

• “shhh, schatz it’ll be okay” he whispered to you

• he finally asked you out after months of waiting for the right time

• you were giving him his flu shot when he asked you out

• your first date was in his off post apartment, he had cooked you homemade Austrian food

• his cooking is divine, he always chef’s it up in the kitchen

• you guys moved in only a few months into dating (which seems early but in the military world you’re slacking)

• he proposed with his Oma’s ring

• he also asked your parents over FaceTime for your hand in marriage, they were reluctant but he was very persuasive

• you’d probably wind up working at the hospital on post, & the soldiers that come in 100% know you’ll take care of them

• during Christmas leave both of your families meet in Vienna for Christmas time, I mean cmon Vienna is gorgeous at Christmas

• you two announce your pregnancy at Christmas dinner

• his Oma jumped up & ran over to hug you

• this man’s genes are freakin strong

• you definitely get pregnant with twins

• König is deployed when you find out & you tell him over FaceTime

• he cried pure tears of joy & his whole team celebrated

• due to the fact he’s like a giant he produces large babies

• you’d have to get a c-section for the birth because of it, & König makes it in the last second.

• he still had his hood on & was in his tactical gear scaring the entire nursing staff

• imagine their surprise when he just asks where his wife is

• you have a girl & a boy

• they’d definitely be named after his grandparents

• he sings lullaby’s in Austrian to them to introduce them to his home country’s culture

• he hates leaving for deployments now that they’re born & he definitely became more ruthless on the battlefield due to it

• he 100% would bring the babies to work whenever it was a mandatory fun day or a super relaxed day at work

• these hardened military men would be all over your babies & arguing as to who gets to hold them next

• they’re very well protected & König made sure of that

• he’s a family man at heart & he will do anything to protect them

✨NSFW ✨

• you weren’t very experienced when you met König & when you first saw his cock you were in absolute disbelief a man could be that hung

• you let your intrusive thoughts win & asked if he’d fit inside of you

•it took a lot of foreplay for him to fully fit snug in you

• he definitely would say the most absolutely filthy things in Austrian to you even if you understood them or not

• massive size & breeding kink

• he just loves how small your hands are compared to his cock you need both of them to jerk him off

• when he found out you were pregnant he was elated that his efforts worked out

• loved to see your body change & baby bump grow

• also loved how horny you were as a pregnancy symptom ( it killed him that you’d have to deal with that alone while he was deployed)

• like most military men he too has a collection of your nudes & plenty of videos of him fucking you

• he loves your hips & how wide they are to him it digs deep into the primal instinct of carrying his babies

• König is just as stealthy in bed as he is in on the battlefield

#call of duty #cod imagines #ghost call of duty #könig #könig modern warfare #kortac #könig x you #könig cod #könig smut #könig mw2 #könig x reader #könig fanfiction #könig call of duty #könig imagine #cod masterlist #könig x y/n #könig x female reader

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ikeuverse · 6 days

Text

BIRTHDAY SURPRISE — p.jongseong

PAIRING: jay x fem!reader GENRES: fluff WC: 2.3k+

WARNINGS: maybe two swear words. just something simple for our jay's birthday.

NOTES: happy birthday to our black kitty and guitarist jay! i'm not 100% happy with this, but i wanted something quick just so i wouldn't spend his birthday doing nothing (and because i'm sick today), but all for our jay. i hope you like it!

masterlist

Jay was thrilled to be returning two days before his business trip. He wished he'd had time to tell his family and friends so they could organize a party to celebrate his birthday, but he only managed to call Heeseung and Sunghoon so they could pick him up at the airport.

Seeing his two best friends after passing through the arrivals gate, Jay breathed a sigh of relief because he could finally take his mind off work and go home. To his family.

"Hey, buddy" Sunghoon waved to him when he was close enough, welcoming him with a hug that Jay didn't even bother to reciprocate.

"Hey man, I missed you," Jay mumbled after letting go of Sunghoon and going to hug Heeseung.

"Awn, did he come back more sentimental?" Heeseung squeezed him in his embrace, hearing his friend laugh after releasing him.

"Italy does that to people," Jay said.

"So," the three of them started walking through the airport, Sunghoon making a point of carrying Jay's suitcase, assuming the boy was tired from his trip, "how did you find inspiration in another country?"

"Italy surprised me, I'll be honest" Jay walked between the other two "I think I'll be able to bring a lot of ideas to the restaurant."

Being a chef had its advantages, such as traveling to a country in search of something new for the menu, which Jay always made sure was sophisticated. He knew that after graduating in gastronomy he would never stop studying, because that was the fun of it, learning all the time in a vast culinary world. Where he knew he could get to know even more, learn even more, and make his restaurant the most talked about and visited in the country.

"Where are we going?" As soon as the three of them reached the car, Sunghoon put Jay's suitcase away and pulled up next to his friend, smiling.

"Oh, we managed to warn your mother and she wants to have a little get-together for your birthday," he shrugged as if it were a completely casual conversation.

Jay looked surprised, raising his eyebrows and even smiling a little more than usual.

"Really?" Jay's smile widened even more when his two friends agreed.

In his mind, it would be something very small indeed, as many friends as he could gather and a few relatives who lived close enough to give them time to get to Jay's parent's house for the reunion.

But little did he know about the plan hatched by Sunghoon, Heeseung, and you. Jay had no idea of the surprise that awaited him at his parents' house and perhaps that was the fun of it all because everyone wanted to see how he would react when he arrived.

"What's up Jay, did you tell Y/n you were back early?" Heeseung was in the passenger seat, Sunghoon driving and Jay was comfortably in the back. The two in the front didn't want to show too much to their new friend.

"I sent her a message, but she won't be able to make it," he sighed tiredly, running one hand through his dark hair "Since I traveled to Italy, she went to her grandmother's house on the other side of the country. We were going to celebrate my birthday by Facetime, so…"

"Oh, I'm sorry" he tried to send a sad smile – which he had rehearsed in the mirror with you and Sunghoon – because you had already told him that this would be Jay's answer when asked about you. Little did he know that his trip back had been part of the plan between Heeseung and Sunghoon, who wanted to do everything they could to get their friend back ahead of time.

Jay also had no idea that the trip to Italy had ended early thanks to the two friends in the car. They had expedited everything so that Jay would think he had finished things ahead of time and could return.

It had never been so easy to fool Park Jongseong, Sunghoon laughed the night before when he saw Jay's message telling him that he would probably make it back in time to spend his birthday with his friends.

The car journey continued with them catching up, Jay telling them about the things he'd done and hadn't managed to send a photo to his friends. Sunghoon wanted to scream when he talked about the sights he'd visited, making Jay promise to go back with the two of them so that he could show them everything he had to.

"And here we go" Sunghoon announced as soon as he stopped the car.

Jay's parents' house had always been very cozy, large, and bright. Jay remembered every moment he spent there with his two friends since high school. When they rang the doorbell to ask Jay to play video games, or when the three of them stayed out late at night on the front porch drinking beer and idealizing life after university.

That house had so many memories that Jay hadn't been able to stop smiling since he got back and was getting out of Sunghoon's car.

"We'll get your suitcase later, come on" he locked the car with the alarm after the three of them had left, letting Jay go ahead and walking very slowly so as not to spoil the surprise.

The plan was for him to get in first while Heeseung pretended to tie his sneakers in case Jay asked what was taking them so long, and Sunghoon would help him when Heeseung pretended to trip. Lucky for both of them, Jay just followed. Too eager to open the door to his parents' house.

"Wait for us, Jay!" Heeseung made sure to shout as loudly as he could to let Jay know he was near the door. The people inside the house were as quiet as possible so as not to spoil anything prematurely.

"You two are too slow, what's going on?" Jay turned quickly, seeing Sunghoon and Heeseung laughing as they slowly approached. Without missing a beat, Jay turned the handle and the door opened.

The cry of surprise caught in his throat as the house seemed much fuller than he would normally have thought. The balloons in the corners and his family and the rest of his friends were well positioned in the living room for the arrival of the – almost – birthday boy.

"What…" he turned to the two behind him.

"Surprise, man" Sunghoon held Jay by the shoulders while Heeseung ruffled his hair, excited that it was finally over.

"Hi, my son" Jay's mother was the first to approach, hugging him as tightly as she could. Jay hugged her back lovingly, conveying in that gesture how much he missed his mother.

The moment was spent with Jay greeting his family, and hearing congratulations on his birthday, even if it was only a few hours away. But he would accept because, from the amount of booze he heard Heeseung say, no one would be sober until midnight to remember to congratulate him.

Jay finished hugging his friends and inevitably looked for you among all those people, even though he knew it would be impossible for you to be there. Not because of the way Heeseung had apologized for mentioning you in the car.

He quickly took his cell phone out of his pocket to text you and was surprised when he picked it up and your name flashed on the screen. You were finally calling him.

"Hey, my love" Jay didn't even wait to answer, immediately hearing your voice.

"Hey, almost birthday boy" he could have sworn his heart was floating just from hearing your voice and your laugh, two sounds he missed very much "How was the trip back?"

"Great, I'm finally home" he said, looking around as he saw his friends interacting with his family "Hee and Hoonie threw a surprise party for me."

"Oh, really?" you tried to hold back the urge to murmur cute things because he was telling you that, hardly knowing that things were still over "And how did it feel?"

"It would be better if you were here, to be honest" Jay found a secluded corner in the living room where no one would mind if he stayed while talking to you on the phone.

"I wanted to be there too, love" your voice was sad now, thanks to your role-playing with Jay's two best friends. Everything had to be perfect for him to believe it "But I can't miss your birthday, can I?"

"What do you mean?" Jay asked. Eyebrows knitted together in curiosity, he looked up when he heard Sunghoon shouting excitedly to Sunoo and Jake about something they could do later as a group.

"Let's go, shall we, Jay?" he heard Sunoo ask from afar, nodding in agreement even though he didn't know what it was about.

"I sent you a present, I hope Heeseung and Sunghoon took good care of it."

"Babe? What…" Jay got up from the sofa to look for his friends, spotting Heeseung near one of his uncles and beckoning him over "What have you prepared for me, huh?"

"I can't tell you or it'll spoil the surprise."

"What?" Heeseung mumbled as he approached.

"Y/n said he has a surprise for me and it has help from you and Hoonie" Jay hadn't hung up the phone yet, knowing that you could hear the two friends talking.

"Hi, Y/n" Heeseung shouted enthusiastically and laughed when he heard, even low, your greeting to him "Okay, your present is outside."

"Outside?" Jay asked, not knowing if it was meant for you or Heeseung, but you both agreed at the same moment "Babe, what are you up to?"

"Getting up to something? Babe, I swear I did it with all my heart" Jay heard a noise behind your voice, as if you were fiddling with something, but as soon as he went to answer, the call ended.

"Shit" he looked at Heeseung and then at the cell phone with the call ended.

He'd asked Jay to call after he'd picked up the present, perhaps to tell you his reaction once he'd gotten it. Jay had no idea.

Walking up to the front door, he put his cell phone back in his pocket and opened the front door a little dejectedly. His eyes drooped even though it was for his surprise, but he didn't want to show how sad he was to have missed his call.

Or not. Now Jay was in complete shock. It wasn't possible that you were standing there in front of his parents' house.

"What the fuck?" Jay almost shouted.

"Oh" you pouted your lips, "I told you he wouldn't like the present, Heeseung."

Heeseung would have answered if it hadn't been for hurricane Jay, who burst through the door to take you in his arms. Hugging you tightly and spinning you around in the air.

Your laughter close to his ear was even better than over the phone, your voice calling his name was even more comforting than listening to you on a cell phone. Jay was on cloud nine.

"How…" he caught his breath after hugging you for long minutes, pulling his face away from your neck to meet your eyes as he leaned his forehead against yours "How did you all manage it?"

"Surprise you?" you asked, your warm hands running down Jay's cheeks and holding his face between your hands "Maybe because you deserve it after a long and tiring trip."

"I didn't know you were coming, I didn't know anything about it" Jay felt like running down the street shouting that this had been the best birthday of his entire life.

"We did our best to make everything perfect" you said.

"And it's only because I have you all with me" Jay whispered, sliding one hand around your waist and the other up to your face.

Finally he was able to feel your lips against his in a kiss he'd been needing ever since he got back. The taste of your lips and the gloss you were wearing mingled with his tongue as he rubbed the tip to ask for passage, soon tangling it against your tongue and pulling you even closer to him.

Jay wanted to eternalize this moment. Eternalize the vanilla-flavored kiss with a taste of longing that only you could provide.

"I love you so much" Jay whispered against your lips after he needed some air, but he didn't want to part with you so soon.

"I love you even more" you whispered back, kissing him again just in time to hear someone call his name from inside the house.

Now it was time to part, in fact, and intertwine our fingers in yours to enter the house.

"How about we start the party now before happy birthday?" Sunghoon stirred up the crowd, lifting a bottle of booze and filling a glass to hand out to anyone who felt like starting to drink.

Everyone celebrated together, wanting to start Jay's little surprise birthday party.

"I bet everyone's drunk by midnight" Jay leaned towards you to whisper, drawing a laugh from you.

In return, you leaned towards him to kiss him once more, accepting the glass Sunghoon had offered you when he passed you and Jay.

"Well, I bet they will be before then" you drank a little, handing the glass to Jay who also drank, choosing to share the alcohol with you so that neither of you would get drunk so quickly.

Looking around, Jay felt complete and fulfilled. He was lucky, and he wasn't even talking about having traveled out of the country a few days ago, but rather because he had something more valuable than any tourist spot: and that was all the people who were inhabiting his parents' house for his birthday at that moment.

#enhypen #enhypen fluff #jay fluff #jongseong fluff #enhypen jay #park jongseong fluff #enhypen masterlist #enhypen x reader #jay x reader #jongseong x reader #happy jay day!#enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines

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kedsandtubesocks · 2 months

Text

dance away your cowboy blues

Country Singer!Joel Miller x F!Reader

summary: who knew the man with the voice of an angel could break your heart this bad?

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, modern/no outbreak AU & Joel has both his daughters, exes to lovers with eventual husband!Joel, angst followed up by good sweet fluff, concert venue, light drinking mention, Joel being stubborn & bad at feelings, hints of spice, fools in love, reader is addressed as ‘honey, darlin,’ use of song lyrics in fic, Pearl Jam & Taylor Swift song mentions, soft & heartbroken!Joel, lovesick!Joel

word count: 6k

a/n: here we are - the last installment in our ‘Let’s Rodeo’ series & I’m so incredibly grateful to finally make it here, also this is my mini tribute to our boy and his SAG award! The main song Joel sings is this one and I highly recommend! Thank you to my forever babe @the-wild-wolves-around-you for letting me scream about plot holes & aiding my Joel brainrot, @tightjeansjavi for always being down to chat about Joel, and to @lowlights & @ahauntedcowboy for being my ever guiding forces for this series, thank you all… And finally to you reading this, thank you so much ♡

A year ago, Joel broke up with you on a warm early spring morning.

He arrived at your apartment, sat you down and shattered your world. You felt every range of emotion as he simply stood there like a man of steel.

So upset and angry, you wanted to rip your heart out and throw it at him.

Then later that week you found out his record was officially getting picked up and you crumbled.

Ending your relationship simply because he was about to step into true proper fame - you never took Joel to be a man so somberly callous. However, you began wondering if that’s what fame sometimes did to people.

When curiosity gnawed too hard, you’d Google him or even check Spotify. Simply catching glimpses of how big he’s gotten sent you spiraling. Last Thanksgiving, your favorite aunt threatened to lock your phone away when she found you upset in the bathroom after discovering Joel was performing at the Dallas Cowboys holiday game.

From that point on you refused to even check any amount of social media or update on him.

A few clunky first dates and a couple of ghosting experiences later, you’ve now decided to simply work on yourself and embrace the selfcare of being single.

It’s why when your best friend called you earlier today eagerly explaining how her parents had extra tickets to the Rodeo tonight, she playfully teased how she knew you didn’t have anything planned for this Saturday night.

You almost hung up on her, but you excitedly scrambled to get ready.

Now the smell of fried foods, popcorn, and beer cloud the air. The fairgrounds hold a chaotic but controlled lively energy. You never knew so many cowboy hats could exist in one space.

Once you meet up with your best friends' parents, you’re transported to a whole new area you never believed could exist during a rodeo. Lux and cozy, the VIP lounge gleams with its elevated experience. You knew your best friend’s mom worked for the construction company managing the arena. You just didn’t realize how big of a hookup it was. The VIP tickets allowed for full premium dining along with a couple of free drinks.

More importantly - it came with the best concert seats.

“In the dirt” is how they’re described because the tickets are literally stationed on the floor, in the dirt of the rodeo stadium, right by the stage.

Ecstatic and bubby energy now fills you. The food being served is divine and you gladly enjoy the free various drinks.

“So wait, did we figure out who’s performing?” You ask curiously while you lounge taking advantage of the nice seating area.

“Uh, I think my dad said it’s that band named Midland is performing today.” Your friend answers but then is quickly pulled away to meet more of her mom’s coworkers.

You’ve never heard of the band, but for a free concert you’re open to enjoy some live music.

It’s a trait you gained from Joel.

Because of him you grew to love music performances, the energy that comes with hearing the band, being among the hum of the crowd. The trips around Austin seeing not just him perform, but enjoying other concerts with him, let you appreciate and admire live shows.

Waiting for the concert allows you to enjoy some of the actual rodeo event. But the main performance of the evening soon arrives.

“You kids go enjoy! We’re getting a little too old and are just gonna stay back and enjoy the free food.” Your best friend’s mom grins with a wink.

The ticket advertisement wasn’t joking when it said close to the stage. The ground level truly sits on the dirt floor. The arena swallows you whole surrounding you like a strange fishbowl. A small crowd already lines the front railing closest to the stage. However sneakily you find a nice open spot by the side that gives a clear sight to the stage.

Even if you don’t know the band, giddiness bubbles in you electric.

You take in the massive general admission floor section already packed full. The band must be popular. So you take plenty of pictures and happily enjoy the time with your dear friend.

The lights dim and excitement crackles in the air. The stage lights up. The large backdrop screens on the stage flutter to life beginning to showcase different picturesque black and white shots of Texas.

Midland, you remember, is a city in Texas so the images make sense. A low strum of a guitar begins playing. The melody dances soft but in a quick beat, a hypnotic tune trying to rev up the crowd.

The tune brews up its intended magic that you even get swept up in the anticipation. The sound gets faster and the strumming is rather simple but so striking.

Then the music stops. Suddenly the lights of the entire stadium shut off. Wild galvanized screams erupt.

The lights brilliantly dance forth back to light. They all focus now on the performer who, like magic, now appears on the stage with the rest of the band.

And the lead singer is Joel.

Your knees almost give out.

Dressed in the most dangerous plaid green button up, it so simple yet beautifully compliments him. More grays pepper his beard and highlight his tousled curls. The brilliant stage lights bask him in a heavenly glow.

Your soul momentarily leaves your body the minute his voice sings his first note.

Instantly your best friend whips towards you panicked. She rapidly screams asking if you’re okay as she apologizes over and over.

“My dad must have gotten the dates wrong! God I should’ve fucking doubled checked or some shit!” She cries deeply apologetic and hurt.

You earnestly tell her it’s not her fault and it’s alright. It was just an unfortunate mixup.

“Do you wanna leave?” Your friend leans closer to you. Her eyes shine understanding and considerate. “We didn’t pay for these tickets and I promise you my parents will completely understand. We can say fuck it and bounce.”

You haven’t even completely processed it’s Joel. It’s like your brain went cloudy and now blinking out of the fog, your eyes return to the stage.

Joel isn’t an extroverted man. He’s reserved, quietly charming, even holds a gruff but poised grace. But right now, he’s an absolute sun on the stage. He’s radiant, naturally swaying to the music while singing his soul soul.

Maybe it’s the piece of you still horribly in love with him, or just the curiosity to see how this goes, whatever it is - you shake your head no.

“We can stay.”

Your best friend’s eyes go wide as saucers hearing your answer.

“Are you sure?” She presses and you nod your head.

“Yeah, let’s stay. Afterwards we can laugh about how old he’s gotten.” You laugh bitterly about him looking more aged even after a year.

When truthfully the stronger wrinkles around his face, the vibrant grays, all of his aging only intensifies his striking looks.

A canyon wide sized hole rips through your heart.

The song flutters to an end and the crowd claps with a thunderous roar. With a reassuring squeeze to your shoulder your dear friend nods then turns back to the concert.

You pray this isn’t the worst decision you’ve ever made.

Then Joel speaks.

“Howdy everyone,” his voice is still so devilishly thick and smooth as a shot of moonshine. His accent does his home state proud. The crowd absolutely adores him, screaming loud just hearing him speak.

“Thank y'all for comin’ out tonight. I’m Joel Miller and m’here to sing y’all a few songs.” So simple, casually eased, and it’s so Joel.

His gruff southern charm made you fall in love with him so fast and now it’s a unique brand of magic charming everyone under his spell.

Joel strums a few notes, rapidly shifting the tune and transitions into the next song.

You now fully soak in Joel.

He seems otherworldly, a god of music reincarnated as a Texan cowboy. You think back to the days sitting in his living room and listening to him play. You were honored to see that side of him, to hear him strum to life so much magic.

During the holiday’s Joel’s daughters, Ellie and Sarah, would often pester him to sing silly songs. He’d grumpily obliged but you knew he basked in their attention and love.

He loved to sing. You always knew he was destined for the stage like it was woven into his veins.

You still remember the day one of Joel’s acoustic performances blew up online gaining so much attention. The excitement and absolute joy you felt then still lingers in the corners of your heart. Although, those feelings have been gathering cobwebs.

There’s of course a bitterness seeing him, but also, an unbearably small twinkling pride knowing he’s here living his dream. The song finishes and again the stadium rumbles in applause.

“How y’all doin’ tonight?” Joel asks and your heart jumps hearing his voice again.

The crowd cheers back at him.

“Good good, let’s keep it goin’.” He yells back and then strums the guitar sharp.

That’s when the stage slowly starts moving.

It’s slow but with the surprise purpose to look out to the entire crowd. For some reason you almost laugh thinking of that man, who couldn’t even remember how to FaceTime on his ipad, on a full rotating platform.

However, the lyrics start and you realize he’s singing a heartbreak ballad.

If you’re going out with someone new, I’m going out with someone too…I won’t feel sorry for me, I’m getting drunk but I’d much rather be somewhere with you…

It’s hard hearing him now with how exhilarated the crowd screams at the stage moving. But you try to hear how the rest of the song unfolds.

At the chorus, your throat tightens.

I can go out every night of the week, can go home with anybody I meet, but it’s just a temporary high… ‘cause when I close my eyes, I’m somewhere with you

The words sting every inch of you, but you believe it has to be just a simple heartbreak story and isn’t about you, isn’t directed at you. Yet the words feel like sharpened edges of a broken mirror that seem to reflect every moment of your time with him.

Then the stage rotates to your side of the floor.

There’s no way he can see you or will even spot you. There’s a whole crowd stretching before him. You’re just a fish in a sea of fans.

Joel continues strumming, allowing his voice to so beautifully carry the emotion.

The stage, in its slow movement, is now front and center to your line of sight. Some girls at the very direct front of the railing scream and wave frantically at him.

A small smile tugs at Joel’s lips as he waves back. Joel’s eyes scan the rest of the crowd -

And that’s when he spots you.

Quickly, you rationalize he could be staring out behind you at someone else alongside the side railing.

But Joel’s eyes even narrow trying to focus more. Your gaze stays on him, like something inside of you refuses to waiver.

His eyes flicker with realization then turn into full moons.

He knows it’s you.

Joel continues singing the chorus but emotions cloud his face. His brows are furrowed hard, almost confused like he’s trying to really comprehend what’s going on.

You understand. You’d be so confused too if you were in his position. You’re still even baffled as to why you stayed in the first place.

The stage starts shifting back to the main center direction

But Joel cranes his face to the side, refusing to have his eyes leave.

His focus stays on you.

It’s obvious enough that your best friend now shakes your body.

“Is he staring at you?!” She tries to whisper but she ends up partly screaming.

You think maybe it’s a hallucination.

Yet Joel’s deep inky eyes stubbornly stay locked on you as he sings now.

If you see out on the town and it looks like I’m burning it down, you won’t ask and I won’t say… but in my heart I’m always somewhere with you…

Your world twists warped, melting into a sea of so many emotions you can’t stay afloat.

Joel finishes his song and the crowd enthusiastically cheers. Yet, it sounds muffled as a numbness crawls over you like a thick soupy fog.

You should leave. You need to. But you’re here now. And decide to see the end of this. If he’s singing about someone lingering within him, then you might as well make true to those lyrics.

Joel lowers his face for a moment and shakes his head. The mic faintly picks up his cough of a disbelieving laugh and your heart sinks.

“Alright folks, let’s jam.” He announces composed and brings his guitar to life.

He’s beautiful walking around with it. Strums effortlessly until he shifts from one guitar, his classic, to a more sleek all black styled one.

Joel lets the music and band take over while he makes the switch. He also leans in to whisper something to the stage hand.

Then as if nothing, Joel steps back into the limelight and illuminates the stage.

He walks around freely now that the stage stopped rotating. The current song is lively with a great beat and you hate how badly you want to bounce around to its infectious sound and the way Joel’s voice elevates the tune.

Caught up in the melody, you don’t notice until it’s too late. Joel walks over to the side of the stage directly facing you.

The guitar carries a large piece of this song’s bridge allowing his eyes to flicker across the crowd.

Until they return to your gaze. Stuck in his stare, Joel suddenly cocks his chin towards you.

Most of the crowd around you screams at his simple action. Even your best friend yells out a loud ‘holy shit’ but you stay quiet.

Not knowing how to react, all you do is stupidly shrug.

It’s awful, not even the best reaction you can give.

But Joel barks a laugh, a true laugh that thankfully happens at the tail end of the song, but your knees go weak.

You made him laugh.

On stage.

Heartache finds its way back into your system fiercer than ever and it poisonously tastes of adoration as well.

Joel transitions into another song. This time moving around the stage more towards the other side.

Yet, either his eyes flicker back to you, or he ends up walking to your section.

A part of you wonders if he’s doing this now to mock you, almost showing off how good he is knowing you’re here. You don’t believe Joel would be that heartless, but you hate how that option still lingers.

“He’s been walking over here a lot.” Someone even behind you even notices.

“Well he is old.” Someone yells back. “Maybe he’s just trying to keep his joints in shape.”

You almost want to snap back that he’s looking damn good for his age and in good enough shape that he kept you bent like a pretzel for practically a whole weekend, but you swallow back the protective bite.

You simply go back to enjoying the show, and it’s fantastic. You can’t deny that. Joel is a performer, keeps the crowd focused and engaged. He isn’t showy or dramatic but takes control of his presence on stage.

You think of the days seeing him at small bars around town, sitting on a stool playing till his heart's content.

Then he booked Stubb’s in Austin and when you watched him own that stage - you knew this was meant for him.

You’re reminded of that so vividly tonight.

“Alright, gettin’ to the end here.” He announces and the crowd sounds heartbroken.

“I know, i know,” he coos back soft and low. “But just wanted to say y’all have been lovely.”

So many shrill shrieks crack in the room and you almost roll your eyes.

Your best friend snickers beside you. “Gotta give it to him, man can work a room.”

She’s right of course. Though it’s still so surprising for a man grumpily reserved and introverted at times.

“This next one I hope maybe some of y’all will know.”

He strums the cords to Pearl Jam’s ‘Alive.’

What gained Joel traction online was his renditions and covers of various songs. He added his own country twang and twist to all the songs he covered.

Pearl Jam happened to be one of Ellie’s favorite bands. A hollow nostalgia rip through you, thinking of the two girls you miss.

The crowd ignites recognizing the familiar rock ballad now turned into the tune of a country song by Joel’s touch. He owns the solo and his husky voice melts into the lyrics beautifully.

Under your breath you sing along. You used to sing along when you cooked breakfast at his place or during drives with him and the girls.

It’s a beautiful fondness, yet one still barbed and so aching.

The song ends with the intense but small burst of fireworks that has the stadium cheering. You even clap.

“Appreciate y’all.” He addresses the crowd. “That’s a one of my daughter’s favorites so always means a lot when I get to play it.”

A smile you can’t fight tugs at your lips at the mention of Ellie.

“Now my daughters, they’re like night ‘n day.” Joel continues and your heart fills up so overwhelming fast for those girls.

“One of them, like I said, loves some Pearl Jam. Now my other daughter…” Joel pauses.

“She’s a big fan of someone by the name of Taylor Swift.”

The crowd absolutely explodes and you think you even feel the arena shake. Sarah honestly was a big fan and Ellie loved to tease her about it so much.

“Normally for this next and final song, I’d play ‘‘shake it off.’” Joel had a few songs of hers that he covered. That one was a fan favorite.

“But tonight, I'm itchin’ to play somethin’ else.” He continues.

You even perk up curious.

“So let’s end this on a high note, yeah? Sing along if you know this one.” Joel concludes.

Then the drums begin and the song bursts to life.

The stadium swims in a dizzying frantic energy.

The way Joel sings, he’s pouring his heart out. He’s memorizing. Utterly heart wrenching.

This is the finale, the end of this strange unreal dream you’ve wandered into. You wonder if he feels it too.

The song’s chilling bridge comes and Joel walks to stare directly at you.

I thought I had you figured out, can’t breathe whenever you’re gone. Can't turn back now, I'm haunted…

His eyes never leave yours.

The lyrics sear through your heart. You think about screaming the song to back him. He’s the one who left, the one who’s ghost lives among your ribs.

Then Joel hits the final high note, lets his voice carry the powerful finale, and the crowd roars in earth shaking excitement.

It’s magical, magnetic and utterly devastating in both the best and worst ways. Another few sets of indoor fireworks go off and the show ends.

Joel wishes the crowd a beautiful night and you’re left in a tangled web of emotions.

Your best friend immediately turns to see if you’re okay. While the crowd starts leaving, you and her take a moment. Out of the edge of your focus, you notice a crew member of the arena approaching the side of the rail. You don’t think anything of it.

“Excuse me,” until that crew member stands in front of you on the other side of the barrier.

Blinking absolutely confused you turn towards the man.

“I’ve been asked to escort you backstage.” He explains and your best friend gasps.

You wonder if the ground opened below and dropped you into a free fall.

Quickly you stammer out that you couldn’t. There's no way. Maybe the man must’ve mistaken you for someone else.

“Mr. Miller said you’d say something like that.” The crew member says reaching into his pocket to hand you something.

It’s a keychain.

Not just any keychain, but the one you gave Joel.

It’s a cartoon armadillo, dressed up as a cowboy, holding a guitar. When you first saw it you immediately thought of Joel. His daughters got a kick over it, giggled at how cute it was, and your heart had bursted when you saw it constantly among his keys.

Now the worn little cowboy creature sits waiting for you. It’s sweet marble like eyes stare up at you like a day hasn’t gone by since you gave Joel this.

Your best friend gasps, maybe not fully recognizing the keychain but understanding the significance.

You ask the crew member if your friend can maybe accompany you backstage, but he shakes his head a sad no.

“Then I…I can’t.” You shakily breathe out.

“Yes you can!” She interjects. “You gotta at least hear him out!”

You turn to her and find determination fiercely burning in her eyes as she nods.

“But what about you? I don’t want you or your parents waiting around for me.” You urge.

“Don’t worry about me or especially about them!” She reassures, even offering to wait for as long as you need.

You’re grateful, unbearably so and embrace her tight.

“You call me if he gets stupid. I don’t care backstage or not, I’ll go get you.”

You laugh watery at her well meaning threat and thank her. With a quick sweet goodbye, you follow the crew member along the rails until exiting.

The walk out to the backstage area fills you with a hurricane of emotions. What else could Joel say to you? A part of you wonders if he’s going to be cruel about this, having you simply show up to his dressing room just to laugh so arrogant and smug about how wonderfully famous he is now.

No, Joel isn’t that type of man.

Or you hope fame hasn't warped him into that type of man. Arriving at the green room door, your heart races loud in your ears.

The crew member knocks and before you can compose yourself, Joel opens the door.

He’s bathed in the golden amber light of the backstage room. It highlights all those grays again but also illuminates more of the time passed on his face. More winkles line against his eyes and when he fully stares at you, you wonder how different you might look in his eyes.

A jackrabbit like urge rushes over you to maybe flee, call your best friend to come get you.

“Thanks for comin’,” he mutters out. “Was worried ya wouldn’t show.”

You want to bitterly joke that you didn’t want to, but the armadillo keychain you hang onto holds the truth.

The door closes leaving you and Joel alone. Awkward stale air chokes the space.

You simply keep your attention on examining the room. His classic weathered jacket rests thrown over the couch. The rider is stacked with so many classic Joel snacks like his favorite jerky, popcorn, and even a few familiar favorite treats his daughters love.

Then your eyes catch the mug on the counter and you grin softly.

It must be filled with Joel’s classic drink - chamomile and ginger tea with honey for his throat.

“It’s…yeah. That’s it.”

You didn’t even realize you said anything out loud until Joel replies casuing your heart to jump. Finally your eyes find his.

It's a curse that your greatest heartbreak is this handsome. Exhaustion weighs in you and feels ancient, like if you carry the sum of so many lifetimes before.

“So…You wanted to talk to me?” You speak first, trying to keep yourself strong.

“I…uh yeah.” Answering so cryptically, his shoulders deflate. “How ya been?”

“Good.” You answer simple, curt almost.

There’s too many things that could’ve slipped out if you said anything more. Like how you selfishly kept one of his shirts and hate that the smell of him on it has faded like a wistful memory. Or how you can barely listen to Dolly Parton or Johnny Cash anymore because you’re reminded of Joel singing along to their songs.

So you turn the conversation back to him.

You ask how the girls are and Joel perks up, eyes shimmering with fatherly pride.

“Good, yeah they’re good. Uh, Ellie’s playing softball for the school again ‘n Sarah’s busy with student council. They’re still just bossin’ me all around.”

“As usual.”

You both say the same line at the same time and it chokes you up.

Joel inhales and his lips press tight, a hard line. The air tightens. No one says anything and now annoyance, frustration and maybe even a bit of panic claw at you.

“Joel, why am I here?” You ask him again.

Sighing, so weary and tired, he looks down.

Feels like ages pass between you and him. The faint noise of the stadium leaks into the room muffled.

You think of your best friend waiting and of your own heart waiting to end this.

“Look, it was good to see you,” you half lie. “You did great, hope you and the girls take care”

You turn to walk out.

That’s when he blurts out your name and you stop.

“I miss you.” He exhales.

“Miss ya so g’damn much. Every fuckin’ day.” He mutters.

When you turn back around, he stares at you unwavering. You don’t know what to say.

“Seein’ ya out in the crowd…thought m’heart was gonna give out.” He barks a weak laugh.

“Almost stoppin’ the fuckin’ show just to make sure it was you… y’look beautiful as ever.” His eyes haze over slightly, almost nostalgic.

Suddenly a heated spark rips into your chest, jagged edged and angered.

“You broke up with me.” You snap, voice already raw.

“I know,” Joel nods. “Worst damn decision of m’life.”

Your lips tremble. Everything hurts like a live wire is burning up your veins.

“Then why? Why did you do it?” You croak. You want to scream, maybe even storm out and not even give him the chance to speak.

“What? Did Mr. Big Country Star hate having a partner that wasn’t famous too?” Venom leaks bitter and poisonous in your mouth, choking your throat.

“Y’know god damn well that ain’t it.” He snarls back hard.

“No actually I fucking don’t know Joel.” You reply with a fierce bite. “You so conveniently left out any real damn reason why you were breaking up with me.”

“I said our paths were going in separate directions.” He glares hard at you now.

“And that’s about it!” Your voice raises and you hate it.

The tears come quicker than you hoped for and you hate that more.

“No real explanation,” you exhale, wanting to stay as calm as you can. “You couldn’t even give me that…what else am I supposed to think?”

Even dabbing away your tears, your composure is slowly slipping.

“I couldn’t do this to you,” he breathes out and it’s broken. His eyes are shimmering obsidian pools.

“This life, all the fuckin’ mess that comes with dating someone in the limelight, I couldn’t just throw that on ya.” He explains and the truth rings out a quiet hum.

“And you didn’t think to talk to me about this?” You whisper out now hurt. “Joel, I thought we were a team.”

“We are- were.” He slips and corrects himself fast. “I just knew if we fuckin’ talked about it you wouldn’t have understood.”

“Understood what?” You’re frustrated and it leaks into your voice.

“That I didn’t want ya fuckin’ hatin’ me!” He finally screams the weighted truth.

Stunned quiet but still slightly confused, you ask Joel what he means.

Pain travels across Joel’s handsome face as his jaw clenches hard.

“This shit…it takes away a lot.” He croaks out. “Hell I’ve even missed things with the girls. Didn’t want ya sacrificin’ your life or wakin’ up one day and realizin’ how much you’ve lost ‘cause of me…couldn’t let myself do that to you.”

Your chest aches like a rocket got shot into you. You’re angry he took that chance for you to decide, but you understand.

Joel never wants to be the cause of pain to others, especially those he loves.

He agonizes so much over his decisions and how corrupting he believes he is. When in reality every action he takes you know simply stems from his endless deep devotion to keep those he loves safe.

His decision to end your relationship was him, in his own frustrating Joel way, trying to keep you safe. Even if it was from himself.

Your lips tremble and you cuss bitterly hard under your breath.

“You damn stupid man.” You hiccup. “I didn’t…I don’t care what life fame would’ve given me with you. I would never resent you. For better or worse I just wanted a life with you, that’s all I ever wanted.”

Through a few sobs, you wipe the tears fogging up your sight.

Before you can see it happening, strong sturdy arms suddenly wrap around you and shock you breathless. Curled in Joel’s arms, it’s like a sad coming home party and you cry even more.

“M’so sorry, my darlin’.” Joel whispers against your forehead.

“I hate you.” You don’t. Even on your hardest days, you never could.

“I know, hate my fuckin’ ass too.” Joel replies.

His arms squeeze you tighter.

“Never stopped lovin’ you. Never will.” His voice wavers and now your arms wrap around him.

“You left.” You whisper back so small while tears continue to prickle in your eyes.

“I know honeydew, ‘n I’ll never forgive myself for it.” He replies fiercely like a strike of lightning with its bright force. “Been a fuckin’ mess without ya. Tommy would be the first to agree and the girls too.”

You absorb his words, basking in the safe haven that is Joel. Hours, maybe days pass just in his arms.

“Please forgive me, baby.” He whispers hoarse against your head.

You nod a soft yes.

Because even the part of you that wants to yell and stubbornly say no knows the ultimate answer is, and always will be, him.

“Of course…I love you.” You mutter half dazed against his strong chest. “Love of my life.”

Pressed so close to him, you feel how hard he swallows and his arms squeeze you impossibly tighter against you.

He says your name and you hum out a soft noise.

“Marry me.”

Your eyes, which have sort of glazed over, snap open wide.

“What?” You mutter out, maybe think you misheard him.

“Marry me.” Joel repeats himself.

You practically squawk like a confused bird and scramble in his arms.

“Joel Miller, you can’t be serious?!” You shriek through the tears still lingering in your voice.

Your face snaps up to him. His face is composed, almost serene in a way as he look at you with molten eyes.

“Serious as that g’damn ring I bought ya.”

His words are a mumble but so soft and unwavering. Your soul leaves your body like you were thrown into a cold lake.

“You what?” You stammer out.

“Y’heard me.” He nudges his chin to you. “A ring. Bought it after you dropped everything to go take care of the girls when they got sick.”

Too many emotions overwhelm you and the tears return with a vengeance.

Joel, like a steady man in the storm, places his warm hand on your face to gather you back into his embrace. He places the softest kiss to the side of your head.

“We gotta have a chat about discussing your feelings with me more, Miller.” You manage to chide him through your tears.

“I know.” He mutters against your skin while he continues softly kissing you with utter tenderness. “‘N I’m not lettin’ ya go again.”

You squeeze him hard, trying to burn his memory into your arms worried you’re going to wake up and find this is just a heartbroken hallucination.

“Baby,” he begins.

“Hm?”

“Stay with me for the night.” He urges. “The bus got plenty of room-”

“Ooo, is this what you say to all your groupies, Mr. Miller?” You tease with a snort.

“Behave.” His hand playfully squeezes your hip but his underlying somber tone even with his chuckle ignites a familiar heat brewing in you of the times he’s reprimanded you like that before.

“No groupies.” Joel reassures you. “Only you sweetheart, only ever gonna be you.”

His words flutter into your heart and make a nest there.

Gently you draw back to stare at Joel. Your hand moves to his face, aching to just touch him. Even in his arms you’re waiting for him to vanish from your touch as if he’s a figment of your wrecked heart, a ghost of lovers past haunting you now.

But his stubble tickles against your palm. Running warm as usual, his face feels like a soft morning sun. Your thumb strokes his cheek and his eyes close, melting into your hold.

Gently you place a soft kiss against the corner of his lips.

Joel now tilts his head so he can deepen the kiss before you can even draw away.

It’s not a consuming passion that you expected. No frantic fierce clash of lips or an overflow from a year passed between you two.

Instead it’s a soft welcome home. It’s a kiss you’ve given him when he’s come home late or when you leave for work.

Because his blood, his soul, you believe are simply stitched into the very fabric of you. It’s like a piece of you is returning back to you, or maybe back to your other home with him.

“So you gonna stay with me?” He mumbles against your lips.

“I don’t know Miller, you haven’t even offered to sign anything for me. What kind of famous country singer are you?” You smirk against his lips.

He laughs, hearty, a true wild deep one sweeping you into its joy.

“Hell yeah I’ll fuckin’ sign something for ya, our marriage certificate.” He snaps in classic grumpy Joel fashion and you almost think about dragging him to a courthouse.

You text your friend a million apologies and even take pictures of all the signed merch you’re bringing back to her.

Now in the cocoon of Joel’s cozy bed on his tour bus, among the warmth sheets, you hold the ring up in the dim light inspecting it. Because of course your secretly romantic man kept the ring with him.

“You sure you weren’t keeping this around for someone else?” You ask.

“Fuck no.” He growls low. “S’yours…only yours.”

From behind his arms slide around you and you’re encompassed by his swallowing presence. His beard scrapes against your shoulder.

“If ya don’t like it, can get ya another one.” He mutters casually but hesitant softness peeks out from under his gruff tone.

“It’s perfect.” You reassure him.

It’s the ring Joel got you then and it’s the ring you want now and always will. You even tell him that.

The kisses places on your bare shoulder whispers of his devotion.

“Honey.” However, his voice now is hesitant and makes you pause on your ring inspecting.

“I gotta ask…but do ya have my armadillo keychain?” Joel asks with an utter somberness.

You burst out laughing and it shakes your body.

“Honeydew, I’m being serious!” He growls out. “Want that lil’ fella back!”

Wheezing with giggles you lean back against Joel, floating so blissfully floating in renewed adoration.

Twisting in his arms your lips find his.

“Tryin’ to distract me ‘cause you lost him, huh?” He mutters.

You snort, shaking your head.

“No I just love you so much, you dumb cowboy.” You tell him.

“Your dumb cowboy. For better or worse.” He vows, kissing you back firmer now.

“For better or worse,” you nod breathing into him.

In this carved out slightly cramped space it feels holy, sacred, chapel like. You’re even afraid it might be gone tomorrow morning. However, the ring on your finger is the steeled reassurance it isn’t going anywhere.

But, just in case, you gather this glory and Joel into your arms with the promise of never letting go.

#my heart is so full and I can’t thank yall enough I wish country singer Joel could perform for you personally in your living room #let’s rodeo fic series #country singer!joel miller #Joel miller x reader #Joel miller x f!reader #Joel miller fic #Joel miller fanfic #Joel 🤎

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myalvmss · 1 year

Text

⎯⎯ PROLOGUE, TRAVELING STAR ❞

DESC. y/n had been living her life as a detective, being extremely successful with her solved cases. however, she finds herself at the end of her path as she walked onto the next path of her new life.

WARNINGS. death, suicide, a little bit of swearing, gore

BUTTERFLY'S NOTE. this is mainly about y/n's backstory and her old life, information about how she died etc etc!! Lowercase intended. Also just a little heads up, a little rushed!!

LYRICS. "live fast, die young. bad girls do it well!" - Bad Girls by M.I.A.

PREV. ｟ MASTERLIST. ｠ NEXT.

Y/N is a full grown adult that lives alone in her apartment. as a detective, seventy nine percent of your life have you been using your brain. you never once tried following your heart, and it was expected you will never use it. because from what you thought, it was risky. and you can't risk your life falling into pieces of glass that can't be fixed. but did this mean y/n never had a partner in her life? yes, definitely. she was alone her whole life, mostly believing that she can take care of herself and become independent.

even her parents didn't care, but, it was expected for them. y/n hasn't heard from her parents for such a long time, she honestly assumed that they were out of country, or something. one thing for sure, y/n and her parents had officially cut ties from each other. during y/n's childhood and teenage years, y/n and her parents didn't specifically have a good relationship. it was like strangers living in one house. it awfully was quiet. nobody even talked during dinner, not has y/n even seen her parents talk to each other. It was obvious that her parents never loved each other. the relationship was only to satisfy her grandparents. even y/n herself was used to satisfy like some object. how rude!

currently, y/n was in her office as she skimmed through a few criminal records. she sighed, “how boring and predictable for these amateurs.” she muttured, setting down the useless criminal records on the table. all she saw in those criminal records were basically just robbing and other common crimes committed. it was like y/n wanted to handle a more serious case, it's just that.. actually, nevermind. she does, yet y/n herself denies it.

⎯⎯

it's been two hours. and finally, someone decided to report something. Y/n was called to come and arrive at a certain house, it was medium-sized and well kept. as y/n got out of her car, taking a few glances around the house. “the plants hasn't been watered for a span of two days.” y/n thought before ringing the doorbell. everything seemed so strangely unpleasant. it was always a feeling that y/n gets something is wrong, mostly occurs during investigations. the door opened, revealing a restricted crime scene where three policemen were there.

one of the few lessons y/n had learnt while studying criminology was to trust no one at all. she took a quick examine at the three policemen, before setting her eyes on the crime scene. it was a woman, who seems to be in her mid thirties.. hanged dead. “how did you get the report?” y/n asked, examining the cold body. “if you look at the body, the woman called before hanging herself. but we didn't have enough time to answer, all we could hear was the woman's mutters under her breath saying..”

“please help find my missing daughter one more time.”

⎯⎯

after a long time of investigating, it was already getting into a very late hour. yet it was assumed that the woman committed suicide after her daughter went missing. the woman called the police once and reported about it, however the investigation was closed off because she disappeared with no trace. after days of grief, the mother decided to kill herself. but y/n? oh, she's not the type to give up on a case like any other detective would. the request was given by the dead, and y/n will solve the case.

first, y/n decided to go search through the house. the missing girl was named amy, “what a beautiful name.” y/n thought despite the name 'amy' being very common. it still was beautiful. y/n walked into amy's room, searching around before she found an extra phone amy kept. it was locked, unfortunately. but that didn't stop y/n from trying. she decided to try and figure out the password, twenty minutes having to pass as y/n needed to wait the cooldown. as she waited, she flipped the phone and took off the casing, resulting in a piece of paper falling down to the ground. y/n picked up in time, it was written in nothing.

y/n raised an eyebrow. “curiouser and curiouser.” she spoke to herself. until an idea came to her mind.. y/n looked around the room, where she saw a case of pens, rulers and markers on the table. “bingo.” she searches through, later on finding a blacklight disguised as a marker. y/n turned it on, aiming at it towards the piece of paper. shining the blacklight at every single spot, until she stopped. starting to see the numbers, 8957. “smart girl. but not smart enough for me.” she chuckled, setting the password into the phone.

It thankfully unlocked. y/n searched through the phone contacts first, it was definitely a phone kept in secret from amy's parents. especially with the contacts only having one, which was a boy from what y/n sees. she looked into the chat, reading the messages. and the recent ones were just both of them wanting to meet up. “I think I know where this is going.” y/n thought. although this might be an assumption,

It was a definite piece of evidence to say this boy was a suspect. y/n read the recent messages, finding a location to where the two 'couple' was supposed to meet up at. y/n didn't wanna tell the police yet, she was only heading there to confirm. although this was dangerous, she can fight for herself and she had always knew that this job was dangerous considering how she is meddling with criminals.

but that never brought to the point where she stops. the location was definitely odd, yet this relationship between amy and the unknown boy was secret. the location there was awfully eerie, but it was a forest. it's expected and y/n got the usual feeling; where she feels like there's something wrong. “curiouser and curiouser.” but that feeling could never go against the will of you going further in. after a while of walking, she could hear sounds of a person stepping on fallen tree branches on the ground, y/n looked around.. she could barely see anyone at this time late at night, despite the fact she's holding a flashlight.

. . .

suddenly, someone was behind y/n, getting her caught off guard as they stabbed her through the vitals and abdomen. her eyes widened, feeling the knife pulling out. “shit..” y/n instantly fell to the ground, placing a hand on the stab wound on her chest as her blood started pouring out a whole lot. “y-you asshole..” she managed to speak, it was seriously a bad idea to even go out here at night, alone. she tried to face the person behind her, seeing a seventeen year old boy. “you're the boy who dated amy.. aren't you?” y/n questioned, as the boy chuckled with a little nod. “of course I am. i'm certainly impressed with your skills of finding out already,” and the boy answered. “but I can't let you live longer to tell this story.” he blurted out, before cutting the cord of y/n's life.

❝ That's how I met the end. But well..❞

or that's what y/n thought. the next thing she knew, she opened her eyes to see the beautiful eyes of a woman. “look at our baby girl right here.. she has beautiful eyes.” she smiled. “wh.. what's going on here?” she thought before recalling back the memories of her past self. it was long until y/n figured out she was reincarnated. but how? she didn't know how to answer that question. though, now, despite having the midset of a full grown adult who took criminology as a major, y/n had to act young. and that certainly wasn't gonna end well.

how did it end? well, due to her mindset of an adult, y/n ended up being seen as a born prodigy. learning big and long words already, and other talents she even develop. she grew older, her parents now in this current life was actually quite nice. they were.. surprisingly famous. y/n's mother was a famous ice skater, who though had to take break due to her pregnancy. however now, she can continue back her ice skating career. while for y/n's father — he was extremely good at martial arts, even taking part in archery competitions. now isn't that great?

even for y/n, she was able to learn those things thanks to the both of them. how incredible, with those talents, y/n can definitely end up in the entertainment industry. but what was she specifically gonna choose? well, that's a question asked for later. but right now, y/n wasn't known to the public just yet. well, the whole relationship thing between y/n's parents were also kept a secret ever since they were teenagers. it was just that.. they're just not ready to reveal it.

⎯⎯

It's been a few years now since y/n had adapted to this, new life. despite being still quite young, she was heading to the bakery near her home, using the main central streets. however, she stopped? looking at the massive commercial TVs on the building, it was only nothing but sad news. ai hoshino was murdered. y/n raised an eyebrow, wondering how exactly was she murdered. she needed details, and it was expected for this young girl to want details. not because she was such a crazy fan of ai hoshino — it was because of her past little detective occupation. however, she couldn't help but pity the ones who was dear to ai. she was devastated too, but she surely knew she could get over it. but one thing that came out from her mouth;

“curiouser and curiouser.”

TAGLIST:

@nambii @sandronebabyy

#aqua x reader #aquamarine hoshino #oshi no ko #butterfly ; missions

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paper-mario-wiki · 4 months

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I'm sure you've been asked this before, but I need a source who isn’t wildly out of touch with what it's like to be a normal person. how financially viable was it to move to japan as a 20/21 year old? did you move there with assistance from a study program? were you able to afford everything relatively easily without an extreme amount of financial stress? sorry for being nosy. I dont need specifics, I'm just terminally curious for a firsthand account from a person who isn't independently wealthy or a 70 year old retiree. ❤️

For one semester of tuition I (my parents) paid:

$5000 without scholarship

$3000 with scholarship

Scholarship was granted on the basis of academic promise and financial guarantor status, and some students had their fees reduced by 75% and 100%.

Tuition was the thing my parent's helped me with the most, as they had saved up for all my siblings to go to college, and only my sister and myself did. But like I said, there was also significant tuition help for students worldwide at my school. Everything else I paid myself.

Before I moved I made sure I had no less than $5000 in pocket money for paying my move-in fees at my apartment, getting a Japanese phone, bank account, insurance, and a bike. After that, home appliances and necessities. When you make your budget, you always want to over prepare. I made sure I had $1000 wiggle room on top of my budget because once youre there, YOURE THERE and home is a long puddle away.

My rent was $600 for a small 1 room apartment (pictured here) that I would have paid less for if I spoke Japanese (paid the gaijin tax by going through an english speaking rental company)

I chose this apartment because of its proximity to the Karasuma subway line, which I could ride directly to school. There and back was about $4 a day, as I went all the way up town. I paid about $40 in utilities on low-use months, and up to $120 on high-use months.

Monthly insurance was $70 without student subsidy, I believe closer to $10 monthly with it. This covers basically everything healthcare-wise.

Food was cheap in Kyoto specifically. Most restaurants had meals under $10, and if you're moving there for school theres a high liklihood you'll be in the city, which means you'll rarely be more than a 3 minute walk from a convenience store which has lunch sets you can take home or reheat and eat in the konbini's sitting area (not guaranteed to have one but more frequent than not having one). I spent maybe a few hundred monthly on meals, mostly because I couldn't cook due to how small my kitchenette was (it's that little stall in the back left corner of the room in the picture).

As an international student, if you're performing above a certain threshhold in your studies you can get a baito visa, meaning on top of your studies you can work a part time job for up to 20 hours a week. This can help a lot, and I knew a few people who worked at clubs, as translators, and as baristas.

If you are making money, you are expected to either pay tax to Japan, or your home country. This is something I absolutely cannot give advice on.

All that said, in my case, living in Japan as a solo adult was easier and significantly more affordable than living in the US with 3 roommates.

#anon

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i-drop-level-one-loot · 16 days

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hii I JUST LOVE YOUR WORK i stay and read them every day tbh, it's my first time requesting so I'm a lil nervous (also english isn't my first language so if i write too tangled things don't mind please) yandere disease has been corrupting my mind lately like this disease has taken over the world and now people are divided in two types: yanderes and darlings. Every darling is forced to stay with their yanderes by their parents and government when they turn 20 , like goverment has been taking care of yanderes too much, there's territories and special occasions where yanderes can meet darlings, if darling tries to escape people are just gonna drag them to their "soulmate" otherwise they think darling are too weak and fragile to protect themselves.

If you're too busy, just ignore this. I also know how hard it is to write. Hope you're doing good💗💗

Your English is perfect ❤️ better than some native speakers' ❤️ I'm sorry this took so long, I hope you enjoy!!

Yandere!Fiance x GN!Reader

There were conspiracy theories as to how it happened.

Populations around the globe had declined dramatically, worrying nearly every country in every continent. The most popular theory online was that to combat the rapidly declining birth rate, one (or more) of the suffering countries conspired to create a new kind of biological warfare; an illness directed at their own people to foster relations. Unfortunately, while half of people were naturally immune to the attack, the other half were affected too much.

It was just a theory. Nothing could be proved. No government wanted to get to the bottom of the "attack" because their economies were booming; who would want to rid people of an illness that drove the rate of divorce to an all time low? It didn't matter if there were a few hiccups along the way.. As long as people were pushing out more babies, governments across the planet were more than happy to just create new laws to keep the death rates minimal ensure happiness amongst couples.

(Reader) prayed on their knees like fanatic, begging any God that may be listening, for years that they could be one of the Lovers instead of a Darling. They were terrified of the idea of becoming someone's Darling; becoming a prisoner to a loving murderer. No matter how perfect each family unit seemed to be, the young adult could see it in their father's eyes, the longing for the outside world, away from their mother. The suffocating love their mother drowned him in; the almost unnoticeable quiver to his smile.. (Reader) wished upon every single star in the sky that they could fall madly in love with someone, just so they didn't have to live through the rose tinted hell their father did.

But every crush they had was normal, none of the guys they thought were cute in highschool awakened some kind instinct in them. Eventually (Reader) turned 19 years old, and found out that they were engaged.

"To who??" (Reader) nearly barfed onto the dinner table. Their parents sat across from them, smiling happily from the good news they had just delivered to their child.

"He went to the same elementary school as you! Isn't that romantic?" Their mother cooed, poking her husband while doing so. "Apparently he's known since forever that you two are soul mates, but he's been too shy until recently to approach the Family Planning Bureau about his feelings~"

(Reader) gripped their thighs under the table while their eyes stung from the blossoming tears. ".. Do I have to meet him?" They asked quietly.

Although the building was painted bright blue and was surrounded by a beautiful, flowery landscape, it felt like a prison with it's tall chain link fencing.

The sorrowful expression on their father's sympathetic face burned into their retina so painfully, that every time they blinked while on the bus to their first meeting with their "fiance" they could still see it. He knew just as well as (Reader) did that there was no escape.

Even the walk towards a private meeting room past other Darlings felt like a death march. (Reader) could only hope that the "electric chair" wouldn't be too painful.

The kind guard opened a door, and a young man they did not recognize sitting inside immediately stood up, his face bright red.

His freckled and bespectacled face was almost hidden by his wavy, unbrushed hair. A smile stretched sweetly across his round cheeks, and (Reader) noticed that his blush went down his neck. "Ah- (Reader)! It's nice to- it's nice to meet you!"

It didn't matter that he was incredibly adorable: (Reader) was determined not to let their guard down.

"You said we went to elementary school together?"

"Yes-"

"-I'm sorry, but I don't remember you." They interrupted him, curt and to the point.

Instead of looking offended, his eyes softened and his smile became (somehow) warmer. "I'm sorry." He motioned to a seat near the table he was just sitting at. "I can explain everything.. if you give me a chance."

Reluctantly, (Reader) sat across from him. It was hard to deny that he was attractive, really being their ideal man, but they continuously bit the inside of their cheek to prevent themselves from feeling any sort of positive emotion. They knew better than to fall into this trap.

"My name is Anthony." His freckles almost disappeared entirely under his blush. "I'm sorry I never had the confidence to approach you.."

"Huh?" The confused teen forgot to hold their tongue. "Isn't it, like, frowned upon to talk to your Darling before registering with the bureau?"

Anthony rubbed his hands together nervously. "I - I really didn't want you to meet me this way.." He sucked in air between his teeth, looking faint. "I.. Do you believe in true love?"

A pang shot through (Reader's) heart. They remembered every time they would chase a crush, yearning for something true and genuine. Reading love stories from the days before the bureau, and wondering if that was what love was really like once upon a time. "No."

He sighed sadly. "I believe.. or at least, I want to believe in true love." Anthony sat straighter, staring into (Reader's) eyes with a shaky confidence. "I should have asked you out when I first met you in the fifth grade. I'm sorry I was too nervous to talk to you back then."

Vibrating adrenaline shook their system as they tried to make sense of what this stranger was saying.

"I wanted to ask you out, and take you on dates, and get to know you like in the old days."

"Why didn't you?"

His head fell slightly, obscuring his face entirely. "I thought that my feelings for you weren't strong enough.."

(Reader) suddenly felt as though they were connected with Anthony on a spiritual level; as though he was the only person in the whole world to understand them. The need for love, conflicting with the fear of not being a Lover, being destined to be labeled as a Darling. "Are you.." (Reader) dropped their voice to a whisper, "are you a lover?"

Sorrow filled Anthony's figure. Shoulders slumped, and back shuddering under his uneven, heavy breaths. "Would you report me if I wasn't?"

It was as if God had finally answered (Reader's) prayers. Their heart was racing; their head felt lighter than a cloud. Stuttering over their words, the young adult had to avert their gaze. "I don't remember you.. but I wouldn't mind getting to know you." Even though they didn't love him, Anthony felt like their one and only chance to fall in love naturally. To not be trapped like their father.

"Then.. I can see you again?"

(Reader) smiled. "Yeah.."

....

The second (Reader) left the room, Anthony's head hit the table with a loud bang.

It felt like he was going to vomit with how excited he was, and he couldn't contain his giggles any longer. Being in the same room as his childhood love was almost too much for him, and he almost ruined everything.

Anthony had worked so hard to make (Reader) love him.

He knew they liked shy, nerdy types, so he morphed into that. Destroying his eye sight so he could wear glasses, growing out his hair so he could always look slightly dishevelled, biting his tongue until it bled to force himself to stay in character.

Tears pooled around his nose on the table. He was smarter than the Lovers that made his precious (Reader) scared to be a Darling.

"I'm so happy..~" Anthony sobbed loudly in the empty room. "Please fall in love with me quickly~ Although, I don't mind waiting on you forever.. I want you to love me now..!"

#yandere #yandere x reader #gn reader #thank you for interacting with me #sorry it took so long #yandere fiance #yandere oc #cw manipulation

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mixelation · 26 days

Text

some of the reborn au stuff i was working on

context: tori has applied to an internal chunin promotion, and instead of just giving it to her, minato was like "nah, go do the next exam in kiri. it'll be good pr for konoha if you're in the tournament, which i want you to just win. oh, but do it using really obvious and flashy fuinjutsu. and don't melt anyone we don't want to seem scary. idk you should try to be, like, cool and charming for potential clients"

so tori has made herself EXTREMELY stressed over this because while everyone else in her life is like "yeah obviously tori could beat the shit out of any random genin" she habitually underestimates her self. what if there is a deidara or an itachi in the tournament. ever think of that???

anyway this is introducing the other konoha-nin involved

****

Tori arrived to her meeting spot near Konoha��s front gate with two minutes to spare, take-away latte in hand. The genin of Team 2 were already there, looking distinctly nervous.

They are so small, Tori thought with some anxiety. What if the Kiri-nin metaphorically tried to eat them? Actual thirteen year olds were vicious things, but they were also delicate little babies. Would Tori have to save them?

“Hey,” she greeted. “Team 2? I’m Tori, the other genin.” They stared at her, nonplussed. Oh no, they’re scared little babies, Tori thought with some trepidation. “Er– where is your sensei?”

“We just got word he has meningitis,” the girl of the team said, sounding upset. She had the cute round face and the orangey-red hair of an Akimichi, flowing over her shoulders in two braids. “The messenger said someone else would be assigned.”

Tori squinted at her. Okay, yeah, that sounded… bad.

“Viral or bacterial?” Tori asked. All three genin stared blankly back at her. Had she slipped up? They had different and fewer pathogens here. Maybe they only had one type…?

Oh, no, maybe thirteen year olds just didn’t know the difference.

Tori had no idea how one recruited a Jounin for a mission this long, this last second. In theory Minato could command ninja to do whatever he wanted, but he also seemed to operate under the policy that better treated ninja got him better results. There weren't a lot of people who would just be okay with being told one morning they’d be in Kiri for over a month, plus travel time in both directions. She imagined they were about to be set up with some sort of weirdo from ANBU.

They only had to wait another fifteen minutes for their replacement Jounin.

Oh my God, Tori thought as she stared at him.

“I’m Uchiha Shisui!” Shisui aimed his introduction at the team of thirteen year olds. He beamed at them, flashing his teeth. Compared to the little genin, he looked more like an adult than a gangly teen. “I’m looking forward to getting to know all of you. Let’s all get along.”

He took a moment to eye Tori’s latte with what she assumed was regular Uchiha judgment. She tightened her grip on it. She needed this latte, okay? Lattes were the only thing keeping her sane nowadays.

The kunoichi of the genin team was blushing as she stared shyly back at Shisui. Tori felt tempted to pick her up and shake her.

“Why don’t you all introduce yourselves before we head out?” Shisui said. “Because this is so last minute, I didn’t get a chance to brief myself on any of your backgrounds. Have any of you run missions outside Fire Country before?”

Tori knew this question was aimed at the actual children, because Shisui obviously knew all about Team 4’s missions and where she’d grown up via Itachi. The wording that he assumed they all hadn’t still made her hackles rise.

Team 2 hadn’t ever been out of the country for a mission, it turned out. Akimichi Himi, the blushing kunoichi, said she’d gone on a month-long trip with her parents last year to research cuisines in Rice Country.

“That’s super cool, Himi-chan,” Tori said, perhaps too loudly and quickly. God knew Shisui wasn’t good at not dismissing the incredibly interesting and rich lives of young ladies.

Himi looked at her like she wasn’t sure why she was talking. Tori shut her mouth.

The two boys on the team were Kato Tetsuro and Uchiha Shouten. Shouten also seemed flustered to be speaking with Shisui. Tori had no idea why. Weren’t they cousins?

“I’m Tori,” Tori said when her turn came. “I’ve been outside of Fire Country before. Um, let’s see, I’m running solo because my genin teammates were already promoted. I already took the exam once, so I’m happy to answer questions about it.”

“But you failed?” Shouten asked, raising his head to eye her in incredible judgment.

Is every Uchiha an asshole? Tori wondered.

“Failing a chunin exam is sometimes more about politics than a ninja’s quality,” Shisui said smoothly. Well, at least he wasn’t condescending every time he opened his mouth.

“Is everyone ready to head out?” Shisui asked. “Don’t worry. We can take this trip slow and steady. I want you guys to tell me more about yourselves.”

And slow and steady they did take it, walking out of the village at a casual pace and then keeping that pace up for the rest of the day. Itachi would be having a meltdown.

Shisui quizzed them on their specialties as they walked, since he’d been filling in as their mentor for the exam. His attentions were focused more on the young genin team, which Tori didn’t mind. He spoke to them like they were about eight, and if he used that tone on her, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep her tongue in check.

When they breaked to make camp, Shisui went off on his own to scout the area. Himi immediately turned to Shouten.

“Oh my gosh,” she gushed. “Shouten, your cousin is a total hottie.”

Shouten rolled his eyes. “He’s out of your league, Himi-chan,” he said. “Shisui-san is a genius. He’s one of the most decorated ninja in the clan, and he’s only seventeen.”

And too old for you! Tori nearly yelled at Himi. She knew it was normal for a kid to crush on older people, but… but!

“Do you think he could help you awaken your sharingan?” Tetsuro asked, and Shouten’s cheeks went red.

“Never mind that!” Himi said. “Quick, tell me everything you know about Shisui-san. What are his favorite foods? The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, duh! Does he like girls with long hair or short?”

“I don’t know him that well,” Shouten griped, stretching his legs out in front of him. His face remained red. “The Uchiha clan is pretty big, and we’re not closely related. Plus, he’s like super famous. He’s the only one Itachi-sama ever hangs out with. He’s that good.”

What the hell is happening? Tori wondered as Tetsuro leaned back on his hands and started to wonder out loud what kind of training they could get from such a prestigious shinobi that the Uchiha Itachi would deign to be buddies with him. How do these random children know so much about Itachi?

“Oh yeah!” Himi said, turning to Tori. “Aren’t you the same age as Uchiha Itachi? Were you in his class?”

“Uh,” Tori said.

“Why would she remember?” Shouten cut in. “He graduated in four months.”

“Really?” Tori asked, surprised. She thought he’d been in there a whole year…

“Do you really not know?” Shisui asked, suddenly appearing behind her. Then he said, in a decidedly more authoritative voice than he’d used so far that day, “Did none of you make any moves to set up camp?”

The conversation switched to splitting up tasks. Team 2 obviously already had their own system, and while Tori would usually be happy to just sit back and watch other people work, she felt self-conscious about doing it on their first night in front of Shisui. She was pretty sure Shisui saw her as full of herself and overconfident, and she wouldn’t give him more support for that theory.

She ended up prepping ingredients for dinner under Himi’s command. She didn’t know how she ended up being bossed around by a little thirteen year old, but… well, what was she going to do? Tell an Akimichi how to cook?

Over dinner, Shisui turned to Tori and asked, “How’s R&D?”

Tori was surprised that he’d both known her current station and also cared enough to ask. Did… did Itachi talk about her? She felt a flash of warmth at the idea.

“It was a bit of an adjustment,” she said slowly, acutely aware of Team 2 also listening in. She wouldn’t go into why it was an adjustment, not with Shouten staring between her and Shisui that intently. “I’m going for promotion with the hopes of heading my own projects, actually.”

Shisui frowned slightly. “You couldn’t just get an internal promotion? Your mission record has got to be strong enough that you’d get one no problem.”

Shouten’s look was intensifying as he tried to unravel the conversation they were having. Shisui’s posture stayed loose and casual, like Shouten didn’t look like he was attempting to awaken his sharingan as he spoke.

“I applied, but… um, Hokage-sama told me to do this instead,” Tori said.

“Ah,” Shisui said, like that made total sense. “Yeah, okay. I thought it was weird he’d be taking you off R&D for a whole month…” Shisui suddenly straightened, flashing a smile at the rest of the genin. “The chunin exam is only a month-long commitment if you make it to the final stage. It’s no big deal if you don’t! Like I said, politics are a big part of these exams. Even your little hero Itachi failed his first exam.”

“No way,” Shouten exhaled.

“Yep,” Shisui said with a wink. “By the way, Himi, this is really good.”

Himi preened. Tori considered tossing her dinner in Shisui’s face. She didn’t think Shisui was a slimeball who’d purposefully encourage a kid’s crush on him on, but also–!

The after-dinner talk turned into the other genin quizzing Shisui on missions he’d been on, and who the coolest ninja he’d worked with were. Shisui was incredibly vague in most of his answers, as ANBU missions tended to be super classified, but he had no problem dropping a handful of famous names, seemingly just to see the genin’s faces light up. ANBU operatives had tears of anonymity; basically everyone knew who Hatake Kakashi was and that he was a captain, for example.

“Itachi is like a legend,” Himi babbled. “He’s two years above us, so he graduated before we started, but all the senior students talked about him.”

Shouten glared at his sandals as she talked, clearly… jealous, or something. Poor kid.

“Oh yeah,” Shisui said, turning to Tori, who’s mostly been sitting out of this conversation. “How did you of all people not know Itachi graduated early?”

“Look, I knew he graduated early,” Tori said. “I just didn’t realize how early. Four months, seriously? You’re lucky he knows how to read.”

Apparently this was a disrespectful thing to say, as Team 2 all looked stricken and then turned to Shisui with wide eyes. Shisui just laughed good naturedly.

“‘You of all people’….?” Himi repeated. Then she brightened. “Tori, are you a fan of Itachi?”

The tiniest smirk crossed Shisui’s lips.

“Yes,” he said. “The biggest fan.”

Fuck you, Tori thought.

xXx

Tori did not bother to correct anyone on their assumptions about her and Itachi, mostly because she predicted that would turn the ten day trip even more awkward. Tori did not like the idea of anyone being impressed with her social connections, rather than Tori’s own accomplishments. She kept her mouth shut on her genin team.

Himi did very smugly ask Tori for her crush list more than once. They were– technically– physically Himi was only a year younger than her. This would be a normal way to bond. But it also made Tori low-key want to scream.

(Tori almost said Kakashi as a way to make Himi stop asking. He seemed like a normal target for a ninja celebrity crush, and she knew enough about him to have a conversation. But also, if that ever somehow got back to him, she would actually die.)

“How is Deidara not famous?” she did mutter to Shisui one evening while they were washing out cooking ware together.

“I think they’re probably too young to be paying attention to the really interesting gossip,” Shisui replied. “Maybe you should hype him up. I’ll back you up that you’re a huge fangirl–”

Tori splashed water at him. “Oi!” she said. “Why did you even do that?”

Shisui flipped a pot over, pouring water back into the stream they were sitting on.

“I thought you might not like them losing their minds,” he said. “I figured– like, if you didn’t like it, you could have just corrected me.”

This was… true. She did prefer it this way, if they had to talk about Itachi. But also: she still didn’t like it.

“How is the entire world obsessed with him?” she wondered.

“Beats me,” Shisui replied.

They made it to Kiri midday of day ten, right on time. Kiri was surrounded by a thick, blue-gray stone wall. The individual stones were not uniformly cut, yet every irregular angle and nook fit perfectly into the neighboring stone. It was impressive.

There was a guard outside the main gate, specifically for the Chunin Exam. Shisui chatted with her briefly and handed over their papers. Someone was called in to lead them to their accommodations, and while they waited for their tour guide, the guard lectured them on their rules of conduct for the stay.

It was better than the rules they were given in Iwa. They could actually look around parts of the village, and they were getting an actual hotel room instead of abandoned dorms. No one patted them down for contraband. Shisui was handed a stack of food vouchers, good at any restaurant.

Then something happened that Tori should have anticipated, but had been so stressed over other things that she hadn’t given it much thought. Kisame showed up to be their guide.

“Really?” the guard asked, eyeing Kisame up and down dubiously. “Don’t they have better things for you to be doing?”

Kisame smiled, all friendly but showing off pointed teeth. Shisui straightened up, and the other genin shuffled nervously. Tori had no idea if a genin would recognize Kisame, but they’d definitely recognize he was a giant blue shark man.

“I volunteered,” Kisame said. “I’ve met one of the entrants before. I was curious.”

Shisui’s eyes immediately shot to Tori, almost accusing.

Oh, they really didn’t brief you, huh, Tori thought. She attempted to communicate this at him with her face.

“Well, whatever,” the guard was saying. “Konoha, this is Hoshigaki Kisame. He’s one of our Seven Swordsmen. Be polite, or he’ll eat you.”

Team 2’s collective faces went pale, and Kisame laughed.

He led them into the village, and Shisui stepped forward to lead the Konoha genin, walking at Kisame’s side. He introduced himself to Kisame, making small talk as they walked. Tori watched them, wondering how much Itachi had talked about Shisui to Kisame, before. Kisame was usually pretty easy to read, but he was also habitually polite. It was difficult to tell if he was being friendlier with Shisui than he would anyone else.

“Iwa was an… interesting experience,” Kisame was saying, and then turned his head to flash his teeth at Tori over his shoulder.

“Extremely interesting,” Tori agreed. “I hope this exam is comparatively boring.”

“With you here?” Kisame teased, and Tori felt her face go hot.

“I’ll have you know that I’ve been explicitly ordered to be peppy,” she replied.

“Peppy?” Shisui repeated, dubious. This was clearly news to him.

“Are any other entrants here yet?” Tori asked, directing the conversation away from herself.

“You’re on the earlier side,” Kisame replied, and then he made her work to get as much info on other teams as she could out of him.

Kisame pointed out their hotel, and then took them on a walk around the surrounding neighborhoods they were allowed to wander freely. It was, as far as Tori could tell, a largely civilian part of town. But it was pretty and comfortable, she thought; she’d always liked all the greenery and little canals Kiri had running through it. The mood of the people they saw on the street was overall happier than when she’d last been here, eyes following them more with curiosity than disdain. Kisame had done a good job saving his village from civil war.

The outskirts of the perimeter had some training grounds they were allowed to use, as they’d arrived two days before the start of the exam.

Finally, Kisame said, “And then… well, technically it’s not inside the perimeter, but I could still show you…”

Kisame had been largely directing his tour guide speech to Shisui, but now he turned to Tori, grinning down at her knowingly.

“Have any of you genin been to a beach?”

****

for anyone of you who picked up the moral inconsistency between tori being annoyed at shisui for potentially (though not intentionally) encouraging himi's crush and her own treatment of mangetsu....... yes <3

#reborn au #my writing

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