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disneyat34 · 4 years

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Fantasia at 34

A review by Adam D. Jaspering

By 1940, Disney proved he was as large a titan in the world of feature films as he was in animated shorts. But as the saying goes, a man's reach should exceed his grasp. His third feature, Fantasia, would be an audacious experiment.

Disney had been synchronizing animated cartoons to classical music since 1928. His trademarked Silly Symphony shorts earned him seven Academy Awards. They were a foundational element of the Disney empire, but they were outmoded by 1939. Audiences were preferring plot-driven shorts.

Coincidentally, another Disney creation was also in decline in this era. It’s hard to fathom, but Mickey Mouse’s popularity with audiences peaked in 1935. By 1939, he was eclipsed by both Donald Duck and Goofy. More frequently, Mickey appeared alongside the two than appearing in his own independent shorts.

Disney had plans to bring both musical shorts and Mickey Mouse back into the limelight. Disney employed the assistance of The Philadelphia Orchestra and conductor Leopold Stokowsky. The Sorcerer's Apprentice was completed in 1938, pairing Mickey Mouse with the music of Paul Dukas in a nine-minute cinematic epic.

However, Walt Disney’s brother Roy, accountant for the company, crunched the numbers. The $125,000 budget made the short a logistical nightmare. To make a profit, the short needed to be released as a feature film. And to be a feature film, it needed to be feature length.

The Concert Feature, as it was initially called, grew in size and scale. The budget grew to $2.8 million. The crew ballooned to over one thousand artists and animators. After much effort and many headaches, Fantasia was finally released in November, 1940.

The film starts with a heavily stylized depiction of the orchestra and their instruments. The background is blue and vibrant, but every musician is ensconced in shadow. Lights from the music stands illuminate a negligible part or their personage. We can see the musicians, but only just.

From the onset, the film accomplishes two goals: First, it wants you to understand you are seeing live-action people. Mickey Mouse is on all the posters. Disney’s name is attached to the film. But these are real, non-animated people. Quite possibly the first live-action people filmed by Walt Disney since his Alice shorts.

Second, Fantasia wants you to realize you are seeing real people, but they are not the focus. The attention is not on them, but their instruments. This is a film not about people, but sound and music.

This is furthered as the sounds of Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor begins. The silhouettes of the musicians are projected onto the backdrop, scaled larger than their sources. The musicians become literal giants. The shadows create a form of puppetry, becoming indistinguishable from animation. Fantasy and reality, sound and imagery have become intertwined. It’s difficult to determine when the cameras stop rolling, and the ink and paints take over.

We are informed from the outset that Fantasia’s visuals are not those of trained musicians or scholars. These images are the thoughts and feelings of animators and artists. We are privy to new interpretations of classic works (well, new to 1940), beginning with Toccata and Fugue.

Defined as “Absolute Music,” Toccata and Fugue is an instantly recognizable piece of classical music. It is the go-to stock music whenever a movie, TV show or cartoon wants to quickly and unmistakably associate a scene with a sense of foreboding doom. But Fantasia undoes this eternally mired association; the booming bass offers no semblance of the intimidating or macabre.

Emcee Deems Taylor warns outright we’ll be experiencing non-representative form and abstract imagery. If the impressionist movement coexisted with film, it would probably resemble something like this. In a way, it’s almost a warning for impatient and fickle audiences. Doubly so, as it leads the procession of animated shorts. It’s a fair warning: This is experimental film. Your mileage may vary.

The abstraction gives way to the first representative piece. Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker Suite; perhaps the most widely known ballet in modern society. We get a great demonstration about the longevity and shifting legacy of classical works as Taylor informs us “nobody performs it nowadays.” Art does not belong to an era, it belongs to the ages. I’m 34, and I’ve never known a Christmas where The Nutcracker wasn’t being performed somewhere in the city.

The Nutcracker Suite depicts the various flora and fauna of an enchanted forest, all engaged in a unique and stylized dance suited to their physique. What’s more, each movement is indicative to a nation and culture. We see Russian flowers, Arabian fish, French blossoms, and Chinese mushrooms (questionably stylized Chinese mushrooms. Thank you, 1940s).

As problematic as the mushrooms are, I’m more perplexed by the Arabian fish. Obviously the sequence is an allusion to the eroticized stereotype of middle eastern women, particularly the Dance of Seven Veils and other subsequent belly dance numbers.

It’s a very g-rated version of the burlesque staple, but one has to wonder why it exists at all. At some point in the late 1930s/early 1940s, someone designed a fish to look and act like a belly dancer. Those eyes exist only for the purpose of portraying a sense of eroticism. Not to kinkshame somebody on Tumblr, but it’s very clear somebody on Disney’s staff was working through some things.

Each of these dances feature plants and animals evocative in style and movement of their corresponding dance’s nationality. This implies the animators were indeed versed on the background of Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker Suite and his original intent. This breaks the promise from the start of the film: interpretations of artists, not of scholars.

It’s not an invalidating breach, and not total (surely Tchaikovsky never intended Clara and the prince to meet an amorous fish). But if Fantasia deliberately specified itself to not utilize scholarly interpretations. They waffled on this promise, and it should be noted.

Dukas’s The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is an interesting specimen. Not only has Mickey Mouse’s cautionary tale of a proper work ethic completely eclipsed its musical source in popular culture, but the short has eclipsed the entirety of Fantasia.

When one hears the word “Fantasia,” one’s mind immediately leaps to Mickey Mouse in a bathrobe. They think of the blue hat, festooned with stars. They think of an army of brooms, brought to life, obediently and endlessly carrying buckets of water. They think of the bassoons secondarily. Most are unaware the music existed before the movie.

That said, there is no better representation of Fantasia’s central tenet: a marriage of animation as an artistic medium and classical music as an eternal font of inspiration. In The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, not a word of dialogue is spoken and not a single intertitle is used. An idea is formed, expressed and delivered by the movement onscreen, buoyed by the themes and mood of the orchestral score. What results is a tale beloved for generations.

Stravinsky’s The Rite of Spring offers a brief history of prehistoric life. We see the cosmos create planet Earth. Tectonic plates shift and form land. Life is formed, evolving from single celled organisms, progressing up the evolutionary ladder. But this truncated history of eons and eons comprises only half the segment. The remainder is a grandiose depiction of life in the nadir of the Mesozoic Era. Dinosaurs in all their titanic glory.

Every few years, an animation company attempts to create a dinosaur-centered film. Either through lack of confidence or executive meddling, these dinosaurs aren’t allowed to simply be dinosaurs. We don’t see the glory of the creatures or the power struggle between herbivore and carnivore. Instead, these dinosaurs speak. They learn lessons and have character arcs. They’re often used as a parable of teamwork and community, or an allegorical tale of standing up to one’s oppressors.

Disney themselves fell into that trap in the year 2000, but we’ll address that soon enough. Dinosaurs are mesmerizing in their own right, as the animals they were. They require no personification. They need no story and no character. A musical short may be the closest we’ll ever get to such a film. For now, we can still enjoy the sight of a tyrannosaur fighting a stegosaurus to the death.

An interesting element of Fantasia, a remnant of a bygone era, is the intermission. When Taylor announced the film would break for a 15 minute intermission, I was concerned as the orchestra began slowly shuffling out of the amphitheater. Was the movie really going to stop? Fantasia is already fighting an uphill battle, trying to keep audiences with temperamental patience captivated. Stopping all inertia for fifteen minutes is suicidal.

Many films from the first half of film history, especially those longer than three hours, survive in their current forms with an intermission built in. Their home release is presented exactly as their theatrical release. The score’s overture plays over a meticulously designed title card, encouraging theater-goers to stretch their legs and visit the lobby. These intermissions have been preserved for posterity, but are wholly inconsequential with fast forward buttons and chapter select options.

I was concerned such would be the case for Fantasia, which barely crests the two-hour mark. It’s the longest of all Disney’s animated features, but surely that record is not because of a deliberate 15-minute time out? If persnickety audience of the 1940s needed a break, what of children in the digital age? They would minimize the window and never return.

Fantasia’s title card is present, but immediately returns back to the film, all for the better. It’s a pointless detour maintained for an illusion of legacy and integrity. Fantasia’s musical numbers are all well and good in their own right, but the live-action segments with the orchestra is full of questionable moments like these.

For example, at one point, a percussionist interrupts Deems Taylor by knocking over his bells. There’s no build up to this, no explanation, and no commentary. It happens, and is promptly forgotten. If it’s a joke, it makes no sense. If it’s a mistake, why was it left in?

Perhaps Disney had no idea how to carry these live segments. He was afraid to let the segments speak for themselves, feeling obligated to inject them with more than a curated introduction. He needed to pepper in little moments that would either change the dynamic or mandate attention.

These moments rob the gravitas delivered by the orchestra, interrupt the flow of the picture, and make the audience wait impatiently for the next segment. Disney Studios would experiment with live-action film over the next decade, but these missteps display exactly why Disney Studios was not ready for a fully live-action film until the 1950s.

Beethoven’s Pastoral Symphony is not the strangest segment of the film, but it becomes more surreal the more it’s examined. Early on, after a brief dance with satyrs, unicorns, and pegasi, we’re greeted with a number of topless, bathing centaurettes. One wouldn’t think Disney would brazenly depict frontal nudity, but there we are. Fully nude cherubs further the dissonance.

Greek and Roman mythology contains stories of heroes, legends, monsters, and adventure. It’s also rife with depictions of incest, rape, violence, and general malfeasance. Adapting any tale concerning the Olympians requires great skill, lest it be so thematically vulgar, it’s outright rejected by modern sensibilities. Even moreso when the tale is to be presented in a G-rated setting. As obvious a statement this may seem, it’s odd for Fantasia to have an entire segment dedicated to the Roman deity Bacchus and his trademark love of wine.

To say the wine flows is an understatement. A golden chalice overflows with some of the most tantalizing violet liquid ever depicted on film.I don’t even like wine, but I would take up a glass if it was offered.

Bacchus merrily sways back and forth in a drunken stupor for his entire appearance. Caught in a mixture of revelry and lightheadedness, the inebriated god is the central figure of a literal bacchanal. Fantasia was released the same year as Pinocchio, which depicted drunkards in such a negative light, they were turned into donkeys. Bacchus rides a unicorn-donkey who enjoys the taste of wine as much as his master. Behold: The duality of Disney.

Ponchielli’s Dance of the Hours is perhaps the second most famous segment to come from Fantasia. The premise behind the segment is simple. Ballerinas are renowned for their lithe bodies and graceful elegance. What if, instead of traditional ballerinas, they were depicted by animals? Animals renowned for their girth, gangling physique, or stumpy limbs? It’s the contrast that provides comedy. Whatever age, whatever era, it will always be funny watching a hippopotamus do ballet.

As such, Fantasia gives us the sight of ostriches, elephants, alligators, and hippopotamuses, dressed in traditional tutus and slippers, dancing to the best of their ability. To the animator’s credit, the disparate physiques of the animals are hardly an issue. The absurd sizes and shapes of the animals bend and flex in a comical, but equally elegant manner.

The final segment is a combination of Mussorgsky’s A Night on Bald Mountain and Schubert’s Ave Maria. Here, the devil presides over Walpurgis Night, welcoming ghouls, ghosts, and witches alike from the realm of the damned into the world of the living. They are then conquered, banished back from whence they came, by the choir of a mere church processional.

For the longest time, I’ve heard the central figure of this piece referred to as “Chernobog,” a central figure of Russian and Balkan folklore. Much like Honest John in Pinocchio, this naming must be supplemental or subsequently; he is never referred to as Chernobog in the film. He is simply referred to by Taylor as “Satan.”

So far in Fantasia, we’ve been exposed to murder, alcoholism, nudity, and sexy fish. Having the Prince of Darkness make an appearance is the final taboo that Walt Disney could break. Perhaps this is why the name Chernobog was attached retroactively. Pious Americans couldn’t abide a depiction of the devil in an animated feature.

All in all, I prefer the idea of the horned figure being a literal depiction of Satan over Chernobog. Primarily, it makes much more sense thematically. Why would a Russian myth be toppled by a Christian hymn? He wouldn’t, unless it was some misguided attempt at an analogy of Christianity versus Paganism. But why make an analogy when the literal interpretation is exactly appropriate?

Possibly, western righteousness defeating a Russian emblem could be interpreted as a Cold War fable. This is rather unlikely, as the Cold War didn’t start in earnest until years after Fantasia’s release.

Second, if we interpret the character as the devil, it further serves the story Disney’s animators were trying to tell: one of good versus evil. Darkness versus light. Chaos versus order. The sacred versus the profane. Dramatic conflict in both imagery, mood, and music. The wild, unbridled chaos of Walpurgis Night, contrasted against the elegant calmness of a serene morning in May. If the demon was indeed Chernobog, it shows either a complete misunderstanding of the mythic figure, or a complete noncommittal to the story.

The Night on Bald Mountain portion is impressive and magnificent. The terrifying monstrosities are a cornucopia of Halloweenish delights, and they move with such intensity and power. Fire is used as a uniting theme throughout this segment, and the heat and intensity can be felt through the animation.

I cannot find any sources confirming this, but it feels like the spiritual successor to 1922′s Häxan. Disney animators evoked the sensation of German Expressionism (particularly the works of Robert Weine) in certain moments of Snow White. I wouldn’t be surprised if Häxan served as a primary influence here.

Satan is depicted in an imposing, terrifying form. It’s a laundry list of every evil hallmark. He has glowing eyes, fangs, horns, bat wings, a muscular physique, sharp claws at the end of each finger, the ability to manipulate shadows, and more identifiers plucked from the nightmares of children everywhere.

Ave Maria sits in an odd position in popular culture. It’s been completely co-opted by the Christmas season. So much so, hearing the music detached from a holiday setting strikes up feelings of confusion. Moreso is hearing a quiet, choral interpretation backed by strings, and not a tenor vocalist belting out the opening at full force. It’s beauty is in its restraint. As the beatitude goes, blessed are the meek.

What’s more, after the thundering bravado of A Night on Bald Mountain, the hushed woodwinds and strings seem almost ashamed to make noise. Throughout, I was wondering when the piece would truly begin. Then, before I received my expected answer, the film ended. Ave Maria truly is the counterpart; quiet, dignified, and penitent.

Sitting in the darkness, watching a black screen, I’m met with nothing but a void. There’s no farewell from Stokowsky or Taylor. No final bow from the orchestra. No coda. We the viewer are simply left with a vacuum of sound and imagery. A moment, at last, to fully reflect on what we had seen. Music had provided us images and stories for two hours. In the aftermath, silence and darkness were just as powerful.

Unsurprisingly, Fantasia was a commercial failure upon release. The avant-garde presentation simply didn’t meld with audiences expectations. The film earned back roughly $325,000 of its $2.8 million budget.

But, as I previously mentioned, art does not belong to an era, but to the ages. Critical and audience approval of the film has grown in subsequent years, and Fantasia is considered one of Disney’s masterpieces. It even turned a profit in 1969 after a series of re-releases.

Sometimes a grand experiment begins with a meager idea, like marketing a corporate mascot. Sometimes that idea can blossom into a grand work. And sometimes a showpiece needs to age like wine before it’s appreciated properly. We’ll never know our true legacy, but a truly good idea, like good music, will be appreciated through the ages.

Fantasia Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Pinocchio

#Fantasia #Disney #walt disney #Walt Disney Animation Studios #Film Criticism #film analysis #Review #Disney Canon

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guardiandae · 5 years

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Meta/Commentary Part 2: A Little ‘XO’ Wouldn’t Go Amiss

(Spoilers below)

(CONTENT WARNING: mental illness, self harm and suicidal ideation mentions)

So when we left off, Nate and Wade had their first real interaction / moment of demonstrated compassion, even if it’s a rough one. Wade flirts, Nate sucks the rancid blood out of his lungs, then tells Wade to clean up their disgusting kitchen and he’ll actually make Wade a meal.

Which is like. Wow. Exciting. Peak interaction and peak affection from Nate so far. Wade actually makes an effort because a homecooked meal from Mr. Grumpy is the nicest thing he’s ever heard and then he waits and waits for Nate to come back and follow through on his promise and Nate.... totally forgets.

Ooof.

So Wade is left fending for himself, and trying to find a way to make quick cash (because Nate has control of Wade’s finances.. and Nate forgot to feed him. Sob.) So he finds someone who thinks he looks enough like Spider-Man to hire him and then this happens.

"Fuck you, Spiderman, you suck!"

"Yeah? That wasn't what your dad said last night," Wade countered. "Or maybe it was, 'cus I'm Spiderman and I love banging old dudes."

The guy had just given him a withering look. "Dude. Whatever gets you off," he muttered, walking away.

"Wait. It's that easy?" Wade wondered aloud, not sure if he was relieved or disappointed by the lack of a fight. He tried not to think about it too much.

Foreshadowing? Oh hell yeah, foreshadowing. Wade is old enough to remember when it wasn’t okay to just... openly admit anything outside of cisheteronormative standards, and this guy not rising to the bait and just saying ‘whatever’ is kind of whiplash.

Wade felt his brain short out when he saw Nate standing with just a towel around his waist.

(Oh no, he's hot. I mean, we already knew that but now he's like, naked and stuff.)

[Is that even legal?]

"Shut up," Wade said, pressing a hand to his head. They were back. Why were they back???

(Why do you think?)

Yeah. So I feel like Wade’s ‘boxes’ are partly like a way for his subconscious to yell at him about all of the stuff he’s trying to ignore. And some of that is really bad stuff for him, that he shouldn’t listen to, like his self hatred and anxieties and suicidal thoughts. But then there are thoughts like these, like his attraction to Nate, his need to be listened to and shown even the barest scraps of respect/affection/kindness, but he thinks he doesn’t deserve any of that and won’t say it.

Like, when Nate remembers that he fucked up and forgot about his promise to make Wade dinner:

"Well… at least your kitchen is clean," Nate said. "That's a reward in itself."

(A reward in itself? What kind of asshole says that?)

[The kind that throws away Hello Kitty post it notes.]

"Yeah, I'm gonna agree with the little yellow box on this one," Wade said. "Doing a chore isn't a reward in itself. A reward is a reward."

While Wade’s ‘boxes’ are overall really toxic for him in this fic, they can be a good thing! If it weren’t for his boxes, Wade wouldn’t have been able to process through the fact that Nate disappointed him and caused him suffering and tell him that it was kind of shitty and not okay and end up making Nate promise to actually follow through because it was important to him!!

"You know there aren't any boxes, right, Wade?" Nate asked him. "They aren't really in your head."

"I know that," Wade said. "But they still won't shut up.”

Foreshadowing. And also, in this moment, imo, it’s basically giving Wade the opportunity to say, yes I know it’s ‘not real’ but it’s still real. Which is like. The biggest mental illness mood. Of course... they’re kind of referring to two different things, once again. Having different conversations. Wade thinks Nate can’t hear half of his conversation, and Nate must think he’s nuts. Of course, SPOILERS, Nate can hear every single thing that Wade is saying, because he’s talking to himself, and the entire time Nate is trying to asses how the fuck to handle what’s going on and how serious this is.

"What do you want to watch?" Nate asked, so casually, it took Wade a long moment to realize that Nate was talking to him, and an even longer moment for his brain to short out.

"What…?"

"What do you want to watch?" Nate asked again, as if this was something that they'd ever done before.

(Nate's never watched TV with us. What's happening???)

[Pity. He knows we're losing it.]

The sad thing is, Wade’s inner thoughts aren’t wrong. It takes hearing Wade’s inner thoughts for himself and seeing him struggle and realizing how badly Wade’s been affected just because Nate has ignored him and given him the cold should so many times... to realize that he needs to give Wade a little bit of kindness. But it feels like it’s coming from pity instead of genuine interest and pity fucking sucks.

"Nate. I know you don't like being around me," Wade said, slowly. "This isn't your problem, so don't worry about it."

and then he locks himself in the bathroom and tries to just drown out the voices until he can fall asleep, in the bathtub, because mood.

Meanwhile, Nate is concerned, but not showing it well because his concern quickly turns back into anger:

"Please, Wade. Listen to me, not them. These things in your head, they aren't real, okay?" Nate tried to reason with him. "I know it feels like what they're saying is true, but I promise you they aren't right. Not about you. Not about us. Come out of there, alright? Come on, Wade. For fuck's sake, I'm trying to talk to you, isn't that what you wanted? Get the fuck out."

After a while of yelling, Nate realized that Wade had gone quiet. He stopped, trying to get a hold of his anger, his… if he was honest… fear. Fear of losing Wade.

He could use telekinesis to force the lock. He could also break the door down, easily.

Nate pressed his hands against the door, listening. On the other side, he heard Wade humming tunelessly to himself. Drowning out the voices. Drowning out Nate.

He curled his fingers against the cheap faux-wood door and tried to will himself to stop. To calm down.

Nate is starting to understand, to take little steps. He knows he’s already starting to slip up right out of the gate and he knows he needs to stop pushing right now or he’ll only push Wade away.

Wade had been talking to himself for a long, long time.

And Nate hadn't really spoken to anyone for almost as long.

This is the point where Nate starts to realize that they both have problems to address. Nate’s behavior (withdrawing/isolating, anger, not communicating) isn’t just toxic for himself, which he’d be fine with, but it’s also eroding Wade’s mental health at the foundation. Even when Nate is interested or concerned for Wade, he doesn’t express it in a way that Wade can recognize. Concern looks like disgust because Wade is so used to the latter; smiling at Wade’s jokes/flirting is interpreted as dark and aggressive because they’re both thinking about two different things; he reads Wade’s cute little notes but throws them away because first he thinks Wade is making fun of him and then he either doesn’t know how to react or the reminder of Wade’s concern/affection makes him uncomfortable because from his perspective he’s offered nothing in return. And if he could just communicate how he felt on his end, Wade wouldn’t be left feeling like Nate hated his fucking guts.

The next morning, Wade is still locked in the bathroom, which means Nate is forced to make an effort to communicate with him, because now he realizes that leaving the house while Wade is still potentially in crisis mode could cause Wade to keep spiraling.

He was ready to go out the door, but at the last second it occurred to him that Wade might wake up and see that Nate had left and take it in the worst way possible. When it came to dealing with Wade, you always had to think to yourself, 'What is the worst case scenario?' and then go a couple steps beyond that. If Nate left without leaving a note, he could come back to Wade giving him the cold shoulder, or he could come back to find the entire building burned to ground.

[Went out.]

There. Simple and to the point.

Ah, fuck. Maybe that was too simple. Wade would think he wasn't coming back, because he was a fucking idiot.

[Went out. Be back later.]

That was still a little bit impersonal. Nate didn't want Wade to think he didn't care about his wellbeing.

[Went out. Be back later. Don't off yourself.]

That was better.

But if Wade actually read this note, Nate also didn't want him to think he could hole up in the bathroom again. That shit got old fast.

[Went out. Be back later. Don't off yourself. Or lock yourself in the bathroom again.]

Nate stared at the note, written on a pastel pink background with little cartoon kittens and hearts and flowers and sweets, and felt a mild panic.

[Fucker], he added hastily, and then left before he had time to second-guess himself.

Nate is still very much in I-don’t-even-like-him denial mode, but this process of thought while he’s writing his note? Ooooh. This is art, baby. Nate is actually concerned about how Wade will react if he leaves the message too short, too uncaring. And then has to add a little ‘fucker’ at the end because hello tough guy points, keep those in the millions. Give Wade an inch, he’ll take a mile.

And of course, when Wade gets up and finds the note, his reaction is, This is a love note. And by all rights... it basically is. It’s the first tangible scrap of evidence Nate has given him that he cares about Wade’s well-being at all, and he cherishes the hell out of it.

Which makes it all the more painful when Wade realizes he was careless and threw that scrap of paper, Proof Nate Cares About Me, into the wash with the rest of his clothes and now it’s destroyed.

So... a few things happen all at once. Honestly, just one would be enough to make Wade lose it, but sometimes in fiction you have to drive the point home:

1. Nate says he’s leaving.

"With what you have in the bank, you could probably buy yourself a house, Wade," Nate replied.

"You mean us, right?" Wade corrected.

Nate stared at him and then dropped his gaze to pick at his plate. "The X-Men offered me a position," he said. "I could stay at the mansion, if I wanted to. Or I could get a stipend. It'd probably be enough to pay rent somewhere. So I won't have to keep leeching off of you."

Of course, once again, two different conversations are happening. Nate is saying, I got offered this, I don’t have to stay, I don’t have to keep leeching off of you and offering nothing in return because I am hurting you and it’s making me feel like a useless piece of shit. Remember Wade’s finances are paying for everything right now because Nate doesn’t have stable income. The reason why Nate leaves and disappears for hours or days on end is because he’s trying to find work, but also the world needs heroes right now and hero work isn’t always paid.

But from Wade’s POV, of course Nate should stay with him. But the word ‘leech’ makes him remember that Nate doesn’t even like him and Nate doesn’t need him, but Wade is the one who needs Nate and needs attention and affection that Nate is in no way obligated to give him that.

So Wade says, ‘ok,’ essentially. And to him, that’s putting on a brave face and accepting that Nate will move on, of course he will, so he might as well try to be happy for Nate. But from Nate’s perspective, it’s Wade saying, ‘ok, good, get the fuck out’ in the kindest way possible because now there’s no more excuse for their roommate arrangement to keep existing.

2. Wade’s inner voices start acting up badly, because of the first event. He tries to ignore them, tries to sleep, tries to shut down the bad lines of thought with reason and reality but it’s hard to believe when they just. won’t. stop.

(He doesn't want to see you. Period.)

Wade pressed his hands to his face, tried to breathe in slowly.

"Nate and I… are friends," Wade said.

(Who are you trying to convince?)

"We're friends," he repeated to himself, softer. "We're friends."

Then when Wade tries to distract himself with something else, he tries to go finish the laundry and then realizes that he’d left Nate’s ‘love note’ in his pocket and now it’s obliterated.

[It's gone.]

(Wasn't that your entire proof that Nate gave a single solitary fuck about you?)

"No," Wade lied, but lying to himself didn't always work so well. "It was just a piece of paper."

[But there won't be another one.]

"I'll remember it," Wade whispered pressing his hands to his face.

(Will you? Do you even remember it now?)

Not only was that the only physical proof he had that Nate cared, something his mental illness couldn’t convince him isn’t real, but now that Nate said he’s leaving, Wade knows he won’t ever get another one. That was the first and only note Nate ever wrote to him, and Wade was stupid and careless and let it get destroyed almost immediately. And worse, his memory problems are getting worse and he knows this and he knows that without an actual reminder he’s going to forget what the note said and what Nate’s handwriting looks like and how it felt to read that and eventually he’s going to forget that he ever got a note and eventually he’s going to forget Nate, just like he’s going to forget Vanessa because she’s dead and he only has her memories and photographs and if anything happens to those, there’s a real chance he’ll forget her smile and her face and their moments together and her and it’s too terrifying to deal with and it’s all because it’s all his fault and now he’s in a complete mental breakdown.

This time, when he dreamed of finding his wife and daughter's burnt bodies, Wade's was there with them. The only people he cared about. People that he'd failed.

Mmmm foreshadowing. For the sequel, I mean. Oh boy.

Wade’s breakdown wakes Nate up, and by that point it’s full blown mental badness for Wade. Nate finds Wade curled up on the floor, arguing with himself, and tells Nate that he just wants to sleep but the voices won’t stop, and he’s desperate now to the point of self injury and asking Nate to use his telekinesis to help Wade blow his brains out or lobotomize himself.

"I can try to help," Nate offered. "If you'll let me."

(Last time he tried something, you puked your lungs out.)

[This is different. This time we'll puke our brains out.]

(Why waste the strength? Nate has guns. Big ones.)

Wade didn't even care anymore. "Do what you gotta do, Nate."

Once again, Nate offers to help. Once again, because Wade has an extreme solution on his mind, he thinks Nate is offering to help in that way, but Nate has no intention of letting Wade harm himself, or letting Wade think that Nate would ever be willing to harm him.

"I'm not going to blow your brains out and neither are you. I'm a telepath, Wade," Nate reminded him. "Reading your mind is difficult, but I can project thoughts too."

This time Nate actually tells Wade what he’s thinking, what he intends to do to help Wade and what he doesn’t intend to do. Wade gets caught up in babbling about what that could possibly mean, what Nate’s thoughts would be, and since Wade can’t snap out of it or give Nate an answer, Nate goes ahead with his plan to help make Wade’s thoughts stop.

Wade started sounding like a broken record again. Nate put it to an end, connecting to Wade's mind with a touch and projecting a static to drown out the voices and give Wade some relief.

They only connected for a brief instant, and then Wade flinched away from the connection, breaking it.

"Sorry," Nate reached out again, but Wade shivered and stayed just out of reach, as if he were afraid of it.

"What was that?”

Wade is still afraid of Nate’s powers being used on him in ways he didn’t expect. It interrupts the darker, suicidal thoughts, but Wade still struggles openly, first expressing his mixed feelings of fear re: Nate touching him, and also his tentative admission that it was nice to be touched. Then, when his train of thought immediately plunges back into ‘I wish I were dead’ territory, Nate makes a point to interrupt once again, but this time not using his powers.

"Wade," Nate said again, trying to bring him back from another spiral of thoughts. He sat down on the couch, holding his hands out to Wade, but not reaching for him. "Come here. Put your head down, okay? I'll make it quieter this time."

"Make my head quieter?" Wade asked, edging closer.

"Yes," Nate promised. "I'll make it go away."

This time, Nate doesn’t force his methods onto Wade. Wade is fully informed of what Nate intends to do to help him, and the choice is left up to him. This time he has a second to process it, stop being afraid of what Nate’s intentions might be, and accept his help (and his touch) on his own terms.

Wade churns through a few more fears, aloud, (his fear that Nate will leave him, like Vanessa left him, and he’ll forget them both) and also his loneliness, the fact that it’s been so long since he felt love/touch/intimacy, he isn’t sure he remembers what it feels like anymore. Then he accepts Nate’s offer, puts his trust in Nate, and lets Nate make his mind go blank.

Meanwhile, Nate has to try to process the raw admission that their fucked up, dysfunctional non-relationship is half of the entire reason why Wade’s mental health has gotten to this point, because he really thought there was no way Wade cared about him or what he thought, and now he has to figure out how to start undoing that damage.

Skin to skin contact is the only real way Nate can use his powers on Wade directly. Otherwise, his mind is too chaotic and slippery to really work with. This is a rule I set in this AU, but it’s a concept lifted from Cable & Deadpool #3:

There’s no indication this is the case, but Wade’s mind is canonically hard to get a grip on for psychics, and after Nate touched his head, he can hear Wade’s thoughts back to him, so they aren’t speaking out loud and alerting the others of Nates’ presence. I always interpreted that as being, Nate had to do a little more to establish a better connection with Wade’s mind. It probably isn’t the case, maybe he just wanted to give Wade a little tap on the noggin, but I liked that concept for this fic. Bonus feels: In the comic, Wade and Nate had been fighting like cats and dogs up until this point. Wade had joined a cult and helped them, Nate had been trying to fight against them, and Wade ended up being doublecrossed. Here, Wade expresses regret, and Nate shows compassion towards Wade... something exceedingly rare for anyone to do, sadly.

In this fic, Nate can’t stay connected to Wade’s mind (at least, not as easily as this) unless he maintains skin contact with Wade somehow. Because I’m gay and I love drama and it’s soft as hell.

"I'm here," Nate assured him, rubbing circles onto Wade's skin with his fingertips. Then he realized, to his embarrassment, that he'd been petting Wade the entire time, and quickly stopped.

"Don't -- Don't stop doing that. Please. It's nice," Wade pleaded, jerking a little under Nate's hands.

"Shh," Nate shushed, afraid that Wade would break the connection. "Okay. I won't stop, but don't move. Just relax."

He let his fingers resume their slow movements. Following the flow of scar tissue on Wade's skin. Brushing his thumb over the curve of Wade's ear. He felt Wade relax against him, sinking deeper.

I have nothing to add, I just want you all to see how soft this is.

Wade’s POV:

"When my daughter Hope has bad dreams, I'd help her fall asleep again," Nate said as he continued the light petting. "Take away all of the nightmares."

For some reason, the reminder that Nate was, above all else, a dad , took Wade by surprise. He was a man who had lost everything, who would have moved heaven and earth to get his daughter back, to keep her safe, and he did exactly that. Somewhere in the future, there was a little girl whose dad loved her that much, that fiercely. Wade couldn't relate. His own dad had been all fierce and no love. The kind of man nightmares were made of.

Nate’s POV:

"When my daughter Hope has bad dreams, I'd help her fall asleep again," Nate said, thinking of how many times he'd held her in his arms and done just this. "Take away all of the nightmares."

Even with Wade's permission to connect with his mind, Wade's thoughts were hard to read. They weren't words or even clear images. It was more like only being able to feel an abstract, and Nate caught the edge of one unexpectedly. It looked like misshapen darkness and it smelled like old booze and it was called father. It felt like being hit with fists and the sharp bite of a belt buckle and it tasted like salt-tears-blood, and it was called love.

Nate pushed the memory away as soon as he realized what it was, focusing a little harder to keep it from forming again. "I'm sorry, Wade. I can't change the past for you, but I can try to make things better here and now. Let's think about something else."

Nate shares a piece of himself with Wade, and tells him about his daughter, about how he’s done this similar psychic technique before to help his daughter fall asleep again if she had a bad nightmare. That reminder of Nate being a dad, of Nate using the same method to soothe his daughter’s nightmares on Wade, reminds Wade of his own father, and the abusive memories associated with him.

It’s not only an example of Wade’s train of thought still leading him into places that are harmful for his state of mind, but also where Wade’s POV and Nate’s POV start to be able to meld together, because Nate can somewhat read what Wade is thinking.

Often, I can write scenes where two characters have an interaction but have wildly different interpretations of it, and depending on which character I’m settled on in 3rd person perspective, it’s left up to the reader to pick up on that or reread later and realize, oh wow, now I know the other person reacted like that because their mind was totally elsewhere. In this fic, every single interaction is like that, and it’s split into stark contrast. Wade is earnest in his interactions, and in denial, and masking so much hurt with humor, and he sees Nate as violent, and cold, and uncaring. Nate is still holding onto trauma, and masking his hurt with stoicism, and ignoring Wade because he cannot allow himself to grow attached to anyone in this timeline because he isn’t sure he could emotionally survive that, and from his perspective Wade is lazy and can’t take anything seriously. Neither of them can communicate well, primarily because Nate shut himself off so effectively until he realized that Wade isn’t actually a punching bag that feels nothing, emotionally or otherwise, and he was being an asshole the entire time.

This is where communication starts to be able to begin, and Nate realizes he’s not going to break or lose his edge if he shows Wade kindness and compassion any more than being a good father to his daughter, because love is not a weakness. Caring is not a weakness.

Nate creates a dream for Wade - but, if you didn’t pick up on this - the dream is more Wade’s creation than anything. Nate was accustomed to helping Hope make imaginary snowflakes in her mind. Basically, like counting sheep, but more elaborate (but simple enough for a child) and pretty to look at. When Hope’s imagination wandered off to sleep, she would dream of snow hares made of ice, or spring flowers, or sparkling night skies. Remember - Nate is supposed to be guiding this.

But Wade’s imagination immediately goes out of Nate’s simple guidance, and turns into a full blown dreamscape. Not intricate snowflakes, because that’s complicated and boring to Wade’s mind, but an entire realm of rolling hills covered in snow and little trees, and then because Wade thinks, it would be cold and he doesn’t like that, he imagines that he’s inside where it’s warm and cozy and Nate is there, because he doesn’t want to be alone, and they both have matching sweaters and cocoa because that’s fucking nice and his idea of ‘heaven’ and Nate is shook because he remembers something that Wade doesn’t remember anymore-

Nate and Wade had gone drinking, only once. Before they became roommates. It sounded like a decent idea at the time. With an idiot like Wade, Nate had thought it could even be fun, but all of the alcohol just made Nate feel hazy and depressed. With Wade, it was worse. It made him quieter and cleared his mind. But when his mind was finally clear, there was nothing he could see that was good.

Wade had told Nate about seeing Vanessa when he died. He said if heaven existed, that was all he could ever hope for. Just the two of them in a cozy room, nestled on the couch together, forever. But he could never get in, no matter how many times he tried. She kept telling him it wasn't his time. And Wade was starting to worry that he just wasn't good enough to get there.

They didn't drink again.

Wade remembers that they went drinking, once, and that it was a bad time, but he doesn’t remember the exact details. Nate remembers that he’d thought it would be a decent method of escapism - his personal favorite - but instead the alcohol made them both more depressed and their problems harder to cope with, so they unofficially stopped altogether.

So, when Nate finds himself included in Wade’s dreamscape, he realizes that this is basically Wade’s perfect ideal, but he’s convinced he isn’t supposed to be included and he’s just a poor substitution.

It was everything Wade had ever hoped for, Nate realized. Only, Nate wasn't supposed to be here.

Just the two of them in a cozy room, nestled on the couch together, forever.

But Nate wasn't Vanessa.

And nothing ever lasted forever.

But this wasn't real.

Which meant that, just for a second, Nate could let himself pretend that it was.

Have I mentioned yet how many of these issues will be carried over into the sequel? Because that should be obvious at this point. Nothing is ever easy to resolve all in one go, unless you’re in like, idk, a fanfic or something. Also, more foreshadowing here about Nate’s conflicted feelings, being subconsciously compared to Vanessa’s former role in Wade’s life.

One more chapter, time for the POVs to merge and time for no more fantasy power crutchs to help us get through real communication problems and time to make fun of some X-Men too...

#reread #self meta #a little xo wouldn't go amiss #hoooo boy #long post #i'm so sorry mobile users

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myhahnestopinion · 5 years

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THE AARONS 2018 - Best Film

I watched 102 films from 2018, which met my personal goal, broke my personal record, and won another competition between myself and my good friend. 102 seems like a proper purview to declare these entries my favorite films of the year, the crème de la crème, the top 10% of the top 100%. Here are the Aarons for Best Film:

#10. Roma

“Intimate” is a good word to describe Roma. A passion project for director Alfonso Cuarón, Roma was inspired by his own childhood nanny and his mother, and filmed in his native Mexico. The film depicts the tumultuous breakdown of social relationships within the country’s history, but keeps the focus on the dissolution and reformation of familial bonds. “Intimate” is indeed a good word to describe Cuarón’s deeply moving film, but “intricate” just might be better. Roma is never short of gorgeous for every single shot in the movie, every bit of staging and every camera-pan planned down to the tiniest background detail, making each the breath-taking black-and-white painting of a true auteur. It perhaps would be best experienced on the big screen, but credit to Netflix for funding such a personal, profound film, which means, if you’re looking to watch one of the best films of last year, you don’t have to roam very far.

#9. Isle of Dogs

Wes Anderson should stop filming movies. To clarify, Wes Anderson should stop filming movies in live-action, as the stop-motion medium is where his visual panache, off-beat humor, and oddball characters most brightly shine. Isle of Dogs, like a best friend for man, puts a smile on one’s face that never departs throughout its stylish adventure, even in the most unexpectedly dark moments of its animated dog-eat-dog world. While concerns over its depiction of Japanese culture are worth discussing, its impeccable voice cast, including Bryan Cranston, Edward Norton, Jeff Goldblum, and Bill Murry, deadpanning their way through its gorgeously hand-crafted sequences makes for a doggone good time at the movies.

#8. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Certainly the most unconventional choice for me this year, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom’s placement on this list is not the product of some nihilistic capitulation to chaos theory; in fact, it is thoughtfulness that made the movie stand out to me so much. An encouragement for empathy, a validation of the value of all living creatures, and a condemnation of cupidity, wrapped up in big-budget special effect sequences and culminating in a Gothic-Horror influenced haunted house set piece, the latest sequel in the series hit all the right sensibilities for me with a combination I never thought possible and a blockbuster boldness that recalls why The Last Jedi became my favorite Star Wars. While others may look upon this movie and see a fallen franchise, I see a king’s ransom of cinematic riches that means the world to me.

#7. Mission: Impossible – Fallout

The Mission: Impossible franchise was last seen on this list in the very first Aarons for Rogue Nation, an action film so masterfully crafted that one can’t help but be ecstatic at the series’ decision to shift from a rotating set of action directors to the singular efforts of director Christopher McQuarrie. Indeed, McQuarrie just may have outdone his prior masterpiece with the jaw-dropping Fallout, whose spectacular set pieces, shot with confidence and flourish and bolstered by the crazed energy of star Tom Cruise, blows every other blockbuster this year, and perhaps since Rogue Nation, out of the water. Fallout not only manages the impressive feat of making a sixth franchise entry feel tense and unpredictable, but also finds new emotional heights to strengthen its thrills through Ethan Hunt’s uncompromising drive to save everyone. It’s an explosive experience, whose only potential fallout is the impossible task McQuarrie has set for himself for surpassing it in his next two confirmed installments.

#6. Black Panther

Black Panther was nothing short of a phenomenon, even among the movie-going domination of its larger cinematic universe, and rightfully so. The worldbuilding, taking inspiration from real-life African cultures and heightened by fun futuristic technology, is so elaborate, and its supporting cast (including Letitia Wright, Daniel Kaluuya, Winston Duke, and Danai Gurira) so well-defined that Black Panther feels like a universe in its own right, even as it deftly weaves through the larger Marvel world. The film’s true power comes from how it breaks the mold, from its unforgettable villain who is not just a physical, but philosophical, foe to the hero, through its nuanced tackling of socio-political stances, to, of course, the impact of its increased representation. In vision, in stature, and, yes, in box office, Black Panther is king.

#5. First Reformed

First Reformed’s methodical pacing and meticulous framing, both evocative of its reflection on faith, slowly melt away to reveal a film that’s darker and more disruptive than one is initially led to believe. Similar to director Paul Schrader’s other written work Taxi Driver, First Reformed’s examination of existential questions and the descent into extremism is harrowing; unlike that other work, it is perhaps also hopeful. Ethan Hawke’s soulful performance gives extra gravitas to the film’s contention of hope and despair and its interweaving of contemporary issues with long-standing questions, thematic material that lingers in the mind long after its stunning final moments. Shot in awe-inspiring Academy ratio, First Reformed’s masterfulness cannot be improved upon, even as one cannot wait for the team of Paul Schrader and Ethan Hawke to re-form for their next collaborative effort.

#4. Love, Simon

Love, Simon’s placement on this list perhaps cannot be properly explained in prose, only in the unintelligible garble of the uncontrollable emotions that it elicits. It’s a flooring of feelings, of sadness, of fear, of nervousness, of hope, of happiness, that no movie has produced in me since The Perks of Being a Wallflower, one of my top 5 favorite films. The soundtrack is lively and the characters’ charming, but Love, Simon becomes a peak coming-of-age movie by perfectly capturing the uncertainty of a young crush and the joy of young love. It’s calming comfort food in all the right ways, sure to be rewatched nearly as often as the aforementioned Perks, which is why Love, Simon is a film loved by Aaron.

#3. A Quiet Place

A Quiet Place was a silent surprise, both in the way it slowly built up curiosity and critical acclaim, and in the way its stillness stands in sharp contrast to any other movie-going experience of recent memory. It’s sublime in its simplicity as a lean and mean horror thrill ride tied to the beating heart of a tender family drama, and stylish in its scares as an unexpectedly impressive directorial debut for John Krasinski. The film’s risks, including its harsh opening, its reliance on non-verbal dialogue, and its fist-pumping (and shotgun-pumping) closing moments, come with great reward that elevate it to an instant horror classic. A Quiet Place’s tension and tenderhearted moments may stun the audience into silence, but I will not be quiet about its placement near the top of this list!

#2. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Sony’s incessant need to exploit their Spider-Man franchise is chock full of bad ideas. Phil Lord and Chris Miller, as illustrated by the Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs adaptation, the 21 Jump Street film franchise, and The Lego Movie, are very good at turning bad ideas into masterpieces. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse takes that Lego Movie enthusiasm and spins it into another irreverent and self-referential screenplay, crammed full of jokes that draw from all the oddities of its venerable franchise, while also never losing sight of the hero’s journey of Miles Morales at its core. Credit, of course, is also due to directors Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsay, and Rodney Rothman, who brought that screenplay to life with amazing animation that combines stunning hand-drawn and CGI work to mimic the film’s comic book origins. It’s beautiful, boisterous, and features John Mulaney as a talking cartoon pig. Amped up by a killer soundtrack, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is such a crowning creative achievement that one can’t wait for Sony to get back into the franchise for a second verse.

AND THE BEST FILM OF 2018 IS...

#1. Eighth Grade

Eighth Grade is horrible. No, not the movie Eighth Grade; that should be evident by its place as my favorite film of the year. Eighth grade, the year in school, is horrible and we all know it. Bo Burnham, the musical comedian who makes his screenwriting and directing debut with this movie, especially knows it. It’s a time of anxiety, insecurity, uncertainty, a time of pursuing increased agency but still being constrained by the limitations of youth. A time where it feels like no one understands what you’re going through. Except when you find a movie like Eighth Grade, that channels all that mess into an disconcertingly perfect bout of pity and insight that exposes the comical and affirming nature of all of it. And yet, while Eighth Grade deftly portrays those universal experiences, it remains uniquely and powerfully tied to its particular era, understanding the ways in which mass communication, the endless information of the internet, and the failings of modern society have provoked the latest cycle of those anxieties in unprecedented ways. Eighth Grade’s empathy and its hilarity will likely make it a mainstay for the modern generation, and puts it at the top of its class for the year 2018.

NEXT UP: THE 2018 AARONS FOR WORST FILM!

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eb-the-gamer · 5 years

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STEVEN UNIVERSE THE MOVIE REVIEW (SPOILINGS)

Lets see here....

I wont lie Steven Universe has become something of a guilty pleasure for me since it premiered. E;R's video (as well as the Fanbases bad kind of fans) kind of jaded solidified it as not as good as everyone praises it to be. The video:

(Warning, he does not sugarcoat his opinions, and his fake antisemitism reviewer persona can be a bit much sometimes, which yeas he has confirmed to be not actually like that)

https://youtu.be/0RCL3ERdhhA

Lily Orchard goes more in depth. https://youtu.be/flLEr_sYC-k

- but I still love the style, music, story and all the twists and turns. It has a ton of real problems with its contents dragging, but warts and all I love it. So when a movie was announced, you could bet that I was low key excited. Even though the story was over, I was wondering what could happen for something like this. Is it good or bad?-

STORY: After Steven tames the Nazi Homeworld Diamonds (yes) and brings peace to Earth two years after the series ended, a new, cartoonish gem comes around and begins poisoning the planet with a giant Injector. She and the crystal gems have their memories wiped after a pretty one sided battle/jazzy villain song and Steven has to figure out how to get their memories back in order to stop Earth from being destroyed.

- MY THOUGHTS: the movie's not so much about Steven as it is Spinel's story arc surrounded by a Steven Universe episode where he's a teen. He is STILL being selfish and not learned his lessons from the series (he even mentions how the movie scenerio is the series plot all over again at one point too), the worlds ending and he complains about how he wont get his happily ever after... The memory loss plot was handled well, with how the gems regaining their memories not being as cut and dry as it would seem, but the Gems themselves are not really too much of a factor, why arent Peridot, Lapis, Bismuth and all the saved Gems not in anything aside from reforming Garnet? Why dont the gems - with finality - accept that in the end Rosie Pink was not a good person? Why do the diamonds only show up at the start and end? Why does Steven fuse with his father?!? Spinel's plot is great, but I think she could have served a better purpose in the series itself, rather than have a whole arc crammed into this, and its not really consistent with the series. Wouldve been better than filler .... 8/10

CHARACTERS - Spinel and Steven are the main characters, There are also The Diamonds, Connie, Lion, The Crystal Gems, and Beach Cities' citizens.

MY THOUGHTS: No surprise that the Manic, self hating cartoon clown that is Spinel is the best girl, and as much as I dislike how they handled her happy ending, its genuine when I feel happy for her and sad for her, and upset when shes so broken that she cannot accept that someone wants the best for her. Steven and the Crystal Gems are the same as before really, which is kinda dumb considering how much he supposedly learned...but I suppose thats the point... The Gems are more plot device than characters due to memory loss, everyone else is a background character honestly, even the rescued gems... Spinel - 9/10 Everyone Else - 7/10

MUSIC AND SOUND - the same synth background stuff like in the series. Its a musical movie too, so there are quite a few vocal songs ranging from female barbershop to a rock song.

MY THOUGHTS: Again Spinel wins out in pretty much all her songs. "Other Friends" is a great Electro-jazz villain song, "Drifting Away" is a somber, suitably depressing look at her backstory, Her Duet with Steven immediately after is suitably heartwarming, and the "Let Us Adore You Reprise", while part of a scene I do not like, is a charming barbershop tune. In comparison most of the other songs are not that memorable...except "Its The Truth" a soft supportive song about changing and moving past negativity...set to a fight scene. Honestly I dont think it needed so many, if it was mostly Spinel's songs and like two or three others, this wouldve been higher for not feeling so bloated. 7/10

ART AND ANIMATION: Steven Universe, but far more grand/nice looking on a movie budget. There is a lot of disney movie reference.

MY THOUGHTS - Its not much different at a glance, but the consistency of the characters between shots and the added details like the haunted look of Spinels eyes during her flashback and callbacks to previous episodes makes it so much of a labor of love. AGAIN Spinel is a standout, especially in "Other Friends" where her manic energy is at its peak. Spinel in general is a wonderful homage to classic animated movies and shorts along with the opening and ending sequences but thats dissappointingly as far as it goes, funnily enough an app game featured a story about a being bound by a book trapping others in her world! Imagine if they incorporated that hand had Spinel, running with that classic animated movie vibe? Oi.... Also props to the grisly looking purple and red Ruins of Beach City. SPINEL - 9/10, IN GENERAL - 8/10.

CONCLUSION: Its a pretty good movie all around, the reason to watch it is for Spinel, its her movie more than Stevens, which is a little bit of a problem, but whats good here is REALLY good. - 8.5/10

#Steven Universe #Steven #Universe #review #movie #the movie #steven universe the movie #Spinel #crystal gems #gem #gems #cartoon #classic cartoon

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vanilla-blessing · 5 years

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qb anime of the year list 2018

Anime of the Year 2018 - the year of girls going to aquariums together

I’ve seen at least one person who claimed that 2018 was the best year for anime in recent memory and I’m inclined to agree. A large majority of my top ten list is shows that I would consider perfect and even shows that blew away what I thought was possible in the medium. It was a revolutionary year and makes a strong argument that anime wasn’t a mistake after all. - qb

Hugtto! Precure blew away my expectations every week for close to a year. I don’t exactly know what to say about it here, since this isn’t the last time I’ll talk about it for sure. It doesn’t even end in 2018, but it was such a huge part of my 2018 in anime that it would be inaccurate to not include it. The only way I can think to explain Hugtto! Precure is to talk about the Netflix She-ra reboot. She-ra’s a pretty basic modern Dreamworks cartoon, with some interesting ideas thrown in and likable characters, but mostly held back by what they could realistically allot for production. Because of this limitation, She-ra goes hard on a single perfect episode (if you’ve seen it, you know which one) that stands out in a big way and shows the full potential of what they set out to make. Usually, Precure is lucky to get a handful of these stand-out episodes in a season, and most of the time just gets by, due to being an annual series that can never, ever take a break. Normally, the first few episodes of a Precure season can be counted on to be strong, but the realities of anime production being hella tough inevitably catch up.

Hugtto! Precure started with an incredible opening arc, then never let off the gas pedal. Nearly every episode of Hugtto is a stand-out, never-before-seen, innovative tour-de-force. The combination of production miracles that resulted in Hugtto has been talked about by me on this blog before, (http://vanilla-blessing.tumblr.com/post/176000267859/hana-is-getting-unstable-a-pink-precure) but the length of time that Hugtto stayed in the paint, going extremely hard every single week with few exceptions, was just absurd. Every season of Precure has one or two peaks, sometimes a good season gets lucky and has even more, the best seasons bat a solid average, but are still expected to be held back by reality. Coming out of the fifteenth season of Precure with a majority of the best episodes in the entire franchise isn’t something that I can wrap my head around, but it definitely happened, mostly in 2018. It’s simultaneously a love letter to the franchise’s past, present, and future made by the biggest Precure fans on the planet, and it’s unquestionably the best season. Hugtto threw what we all knew was true and had accepted about Precure clear out the window, retroactively made older seasons better, watered my crops, brought world peace, ect.

Oh yeah and boys can be cures now.

I’m definitely not done with Revue Starlight and this won’t be the last time I talk about it. Revue Starlight essentially carried the Summer 2018 anime season on its back. Starlight absolutely dominated my anime watching schedule; my week was seriously just waiting for and watching different translations and releases with every other show being almost incidental, far less important than waiting for the song lyrics to get translated for an episode I had seen three times already. I won’t get into everything here, since I’ve already talked about it on this blog after all (http://vanilla-blessing.tumblr.com/post/179023723689/subtext-is-for-cowards-revue-starlight), but I need to reiterate that it was such a commanding, unique, stylized experience and didn’t drop a single episode in its entire absurdly high-level production. The only reasonable explanation for this is devil magic, and hell, it was worth it. Revue Starlight is probably in my top 5 anime of all time and I wouldn’t get this list out if I said everything I wanted to say about it. It’s great. Watch it twenty times.

Pop Teen Epic, or Hoshiiro Girldrop, was the most wildcard that has ever been in seasonal anime, and could have been absolutely anything. What none of us predicted was just how much of anything this show would be, encompassing an unprecedented range of artists, voice acting talent, and whatever AC-bu are, each giving their very individual takes on a self-described shitpost comic strip, sometimes covering the exact same material two or three times, with no regard for any sort of cohesion or structure.

Nothing about this idea should have been funded, nothing in Pop Team Epic has any reason to work, and as a straight adaptation probably wouldn’t have worked. PTE spun gold from trash through the raw effort of artists doing their own thing, which captures the original spirit that made the formerly-cancelled comic popular in a way that’s much too intelligent for haters to understand. Also it got a dub, which is the most ridiculously bad idea i’ve heard in my life, and it owns that it happened.

Spider-man into the Spider-verse is legit the best comic book movie ever made. It’s a fun, expressive twist on the most tired superhero origin story of all time, and showcases some of the most sssssssssstyle and raw, real emotion I’ve ever seen in animation. Its particular selection of influences is brilliant and poignant, rising far above the simple fanservice you’ve come to expect from Spider-man. The unrelenting individualistic spirit of this movie will stick with you the longest in the soundtrack, bravely incorporating a side of pop music that you don’t usually get to see in big-budget productions, pulling soundcloud rappers out of their grody (i’m told) dens into the spotlight with equal importance alongside the heroic score. Spider-verse is all about establishing your own unique flavor, and it manages to overwrite every other entry in this cursed franchise with its bold taste.

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It doesn’t make sense to me how amazing Aggretsuko’s dub is. The impeccable timing of each line, the perfect integration with the comedy, and the optimal length of the episodes are all far beyond what I expected from a Netflix show. It not only converted the original series of shorts that I already had on my top 10 the first year into a godlike longer series I didn’t know I wanted, but went to the effort to bring real metal singers in for the karaoke. Honestly just repeat everything I said in my 2016 list and multiply it by five. I hope they make more. They’re making more.

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I was pretty slow to pick up anime in the Winter 2018 season, but I never missed Hakumei and Mikochi, maybe because it was like, the only simulcast on my favorite online anime streaming subscription service HiDiVE. The subs weren’t great, and it certainly wasn’t all that popular, but it was just the relaxing show I needed. Hakumei and Mikochi brought me back to my favorite non-racist parts of the Redwall series of books: friendly animals, delicious foods, alcohol, and rustic songs. I was ready to put it on my list for simply being a cute healing foodie anime, but to my surprise, it had much more in store within its tiny world: stark confrontations with mortality, a shy riverside necromancer, the inexplicable remake of The Raid: Redemption in miniature, fashion trends, frogs, carpenter weasels, carpenter skeletons, ghost celebrations, a country beetle with lofty dreams. The list of memorable people, places, and things contained in the gnomish roommates’ tiny world goes on and on.

Masaomi Ando’s directing went completely along with the storybook aesthetic, maybe even to an overall detriment, which is exactly the kind of reckless commitment to style I love to see. The distinctive paneling, constantly gorgeous backgrounds, and deliberate pacing perfectly captured the imaginative stories I loved to read as a kid, but with more alcohol, and more sophisticated themes under the surface. Even something anime rarely get right, endings, were perfectly capstoned every week with a short digest that explored more of the history, legends, and very personal lore of their small, unique world. At its core, Hakumei and Mikochi is the calming story of tiny roommates you think it is, but it’s also so much more. They have day jobs and get drunk and remodel their house after it explodes that one time. They gamble dangerously to escape a blizzard, help a photographer give herself a little credit, and rescue their neighbor from a fancy grave of her own making. By the end of the show Hakumei practically built half a town. The collective stories from their everyday adventures build into something tremendous, and it all wraps up on the most perfect ending sequence I could have hoped for, which calls back to every story thus far as a new verse of the show’s central duet is sung. In any reasonable AnimeOTY Hakumei and Mikochi would be my top anime of 2018, but this year, the competition was unreasonable. This show will just have to settle for being the best regular anime of the year.

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Bloom Into You is an incredible adaptation of an apparently yuri romance manga that raises the bar for anime adaptations in general. I don’t know when, but somewhere along the line I stopped expecting that serious capital R Romance anime would have a distinctive style, and gave up to the notion that there was no demand anymore and a stylized, seinen/josei romance would just never get made. Well that was 2016 and then Scum’s Wish happened which this blog has covered extensively.(http://vanilla-blessing.tumblr.com/post/168842023559/how-lerche-adapted-an-average-trashy-romcom-into, http://vanilla-blessing.tumblr.com/post/168789506264/scums-wish-and-our-messy-uncomfortable) To me Bloom Into You feels similar in concept, as a difficult romantic situation with no easy answers or completely happy people. The main perspective character, Yuu, is among my favorite romantic leads in any series; she doesn’t get romantic feelings, although she wants to, and despite being easily motivated, is kind of dispassionate. Her relationship that she was pushed into with Touko might as well be out of mutual convenience, since Touko doesn’t want to fall in love with someone who would love her back, and Yuu doesn’t think she can.

Yuu filters the developments of the series as they grow closer through a very different perspective compared to more emotional leads of usual romance stories, methodically breaking down and considering where she’s at, observing where others are at, before taking an action that makes sense to her. Her growth through the series takes a very different direction than the common dramatic formula; instead of running headfirst into misunderstandings to overcome romantic challenges, she’s compelled to take a step back and position herself in a way that allows her to understand and confront her girlfriend’s issues. The changes that she experiences herself during this process are extremely gradual, but are no less significant to her. Although the dramatic weight of the series is obviously all about Touko, the central thesis of Bloom Into You is to explore Yuu’s complex feelings, and ask to what degree our actions are dictated by our emotions. It’s a heavy topic to be sure, but what makes this anime adaptation special in particular is how the directing and production pull it off, to maybe an even stronger degree than the original material.

Bloom Into You’s most striking and noticeable feature is the incredible conservation of small movements that connect expressions naturally. Minute changes in characters’ faces are vital to observe the almost imperceptible changes in Yuu over the course of the series, and every aspect of the direction is in service of highlighting these subtle moments. In addition, repeated cinematic themes are reinforced over the show’s run, such as the use of light to impart a blinding realization, flower language to inform deeper personalities, even using a literal (not literal) cinema. Symbols such as trains, masks, and mirrors are used constantly and consistently to reinforce the show’s themes, which should be immediately obvious from the opening animation. I’m still kind of stunned that Bloom Into You’s ending theme is such a banger and managed to use an oscillating sine curve in a metaphorical way. These details might be lost without the brilliant layouts, intentionally resembling a stage, which always push the minute differences front and center. As an anime adaptation, Bloom Into You adds so much value in such a subdued, conservative way that it puts uninspired adaptations to shame.

Thunderbolt Fantasy 2 rounded out the year with a good old new-fashioned Japanese-speaking Chinese-Wuxia Taiwanese puppet show. The novelty of this wild series, like, existing at all, is still incredible to me, but I was really wowed by the new characters and the direction the series went in after the already high standards of the first season. Following the outrageous action and fights of the previous season, I did not expect that season 2’s introductory goon would 1. Live past the first episode 2. So quickly become my favorite swordfighter and 3. Have inarguably the most complete character arc of the entire show thus far. The Princess of Cruelty’s struggle against her inner and outer demons in a unreasonably stacked, desperate situation developed her into easily the most compelling character of the season, and the rest of the cast including a corrupt police officer with extremely disconcerting and bad puppet teeth, a ventriloquist rock-lutist, and a nihilist monk each bring their own unique flavors to the table. The table that they throw the puppets in the air from to make the show. All of the new elements of Thunderbolt Fantasy 2 improved an already strong formula even more, and revealed an emotional depth to the series that I’m excited to see developed further. Some people might not call this anime, but those people haven’t seen Thunderbolt Fantasy for longer than 2 seconds. It’s so anime.

I blasted all available seasons of Star vs the Forces of Evil early in 2018, and it was basically my first foray into straight-up American cartoon magical girl, despite watching all the Japanese ones, which was probably an oversight on my part. That’s because Star Versus is really good, and provided a flavor of magical girl I had been missing out on. I could talk about the excellent sparkle witch aesthetic of the show, fluid animation, and hilarious comedy, but I’d rather spend this blogspace posting Star Butterfly faces.

#10

A Place Further Than the Universe, or YoriMoi, or my preferred moniker That Antartica Anime, wasn’t on my radar until well after it had finished airing, but it stuck with me for most of the year. Although it’s definitely melodramatic at times, it utilizes this tendency in exactly the right way to enhance the individual characters’ emotional arcs. Even though I was personally sort of taken out of it for many of the girls’ personal trials, :penguin emoji: is obviously thoughtfully written and carefully constructed, and especially knows how to orchestrate an immense emotional reaction with pitch-perfect timing. If there’s one particular aspect this anime has absolute mastery over, it’s hitting that perfect note and cue to create a memorable narrative climax. And for all my bellyaching about not fully relating to some of the characters, Miyake is definitively the #1 qb-relatable character of the year.

Here’s the rest of my list. Don’t @ me about it because if its not on my top ten then it doesnt really count anymore i dont make the rules thats just how it is

11. Yuru Camp

12. Hisone and Masotan

13. Asagao to Kase-san

14. Devilman Crybaby

15. After the Rain

16. Planet With

- friend of the show @queuebae on twitter

That’s why the 2018 anime of the year award goes to Kaiju Girls 2.

#top ten anime 2018 #top ten pop team epics #pop teen epic #pop team epic #hoshiiro girldrop #poppiteppikiu #popttippiku #bob team epic #bob epic team #PTE 2018 #Pop Team Epic Season 2

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everythingcollided · 6 years

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More Than A Fan [Peter Parker]

Request: Hello beautiful! May I get a Peter x Reader where he’s completely SOFT™️ for her and once she finds out about her best friend being Spidey she can’t help but wear/buy all the Spidey merch available? With fluff and flustered Pete? Love you lots! ❤️

Word Count: 2,153

Warnings: Swearing, slight sorta severe pining

A/N: I was so excited to write this cause the request was absolutely adorable! Thanks to @beautiful-writings for basically being my beta reader she’s amazing!

It’s been three days.

Seventy-two hours since she’d wrapped her arms around him in their customary hug, the comforting smell of her shampoo clouding his senses and lulling him into the safety he only ever felt around her, breath puffing right over his heart. It was normal, and Peter never expected it to stop only hours later.

He kept on seeing her face in the rain where she’d caught him maskless under the awning of a shop he couldn’t remember, hair stuck to her cheeks and neck, eyelashes lined with raindrops. She looked as delicate as a flower in the darkness, almost too stunning to be real, and Peter’s guilt clashed with the need to get her someplace warm and dry.

“I need some time,” she’d said, like a knife to his chest.

And then she walked away. Peter had never thought about how much he’d miss those hugs until she wasn’t there to give them.

Three days.

Aunt May kept on asking him if he was alright when he came out of his room with darkness under his eyes and he always said yes because he knew how much she loved her and he couldn’t bear to disappoint another woman in his life with how stupid he had been. She offered up a movie night complete with three bowls of popcorn anyway.

It was on the fourth day, when he’d just finished eating his breakfast, that his phone vibrated.

‘Can you come over?’ the text read, her name written at the top followed by the yellow heart that guaranteed he wasn’t imagining it. She really wanted to see him.

He didn’t even answer, rummaging through his closet for a sweater and barely having it over his head before charging downstairs and unhooking his bike from the rack. He completely zoned out on the ride over, going from muscle memory alone.

He was so scared that she was going to leave him. Maybe five months ago he would’ve been able to handle it; when she was just a girl with pretty eyes and a kickass sense of humor. When she was just his best friend who made his stomach feel weird, who for some reason he couldn’t even see the same as he saw Ned even though they were both equally important to him.

Five months ago he could’ve taken the blow because hey, he’d lost friends before and it hurt for a while but he still had Ned and MJ and they’d do their best to help him forget about her. Five months ago he was helplessly oblivious to the fact that his feelings for her were in no way wholly platonic and that everything she did put hearts in his eyes.

Now, the thought of losing her made Peter feel like he would be blown into thousands of pieces and he wasn’t going to let that happen. She was going to let him explain why he kept his identity from her for so long, and she was going to understand.

She was going to understand.

Peter’s heart is thrashing around his chest, thumping with the beats of his knuckles against the wooden door as he knocks. It’s warmer than he thought outside, or maybe that’s just his body heating up from the adrenaline coursing through his veins. He balls the edge of his sleeve into his palm nervously, tapping his feet against the faded welcome! mat, feeling anything but.

The slight creak of the door as it opens sounds loud in his ears and he jumps, eyes darting to the figure in the frame and widening in turn. There she is, the crinkles at the edges of her eyes the first thing he sees and the large t-shirt she wears the second.

It’s bright red, with a cartoon version of Spider-Man swinging across the front. His name is etched down the long sleeves swallowing her arms in bold letters and Peter almost has to squint with the sunlight reflecting off of the material.

“So, question,” she starts casually, rocking on her feet - which are clad in socks that resemble that part of his suit flawlessly - and not at all appearing mad like Peter had expected and prepared for. “You wear boxers, right?”

He’s dazed by her attire and it takes him a moment to realize what she’s just said, cheeks coloring. “Yeah? Yes, I do. Why?”

She nods, ponytail swishing. “Great. Come on.”

And then she’s pulling him by the hand into the house he’s been in so many times he has it memorized, down the long hallway decorated with pictures of her with missing teeth and pigtails, of the two of them with their arms around each other holding participation ribbons at a science fair with gigantic grins, and into the living room.

There are bags littering the carpeted floor as well as the coffee table standing in the middle of the room and the couch. Boxes peak up out of the abyss here and there, tops ripped open and dropping styrofoam peanuts over the ground.

“Shit, I forgot what box they were in,” she mutters, gracefully weaving through the mess. Her shirt rides up as she rummages through a box and Peter spots web designs crawling over her shorts.

“What is all of this?” He finally asks.

“Did you know that Stark Industries owns this whole Spider-Man brand? They have, like, everything.” She’s practically inside of the box now, balancing on one leg as she submerges her limbs in search of...boxers, was it? Her voice echoes against the cardboard and Peter decides to help her before she hurts herself.

He wades through the plastic and moves behind her, pressing a hand to her back to let her know he’s there. She sends him a grateful smile as she moves to give him room. “Mr. Stark didn’t say anything about...a brand?” She hums in confirmation at the questioning edge, Peter’s chest filling with warmth at the thought that Mr. Stark would do such a thing for Spider-Man, for him.

His hands brush against fabric in the sea of green and pink peanuts and he latches onto it. She chuckles at the product. “See, boxers!” Little Spider-Men are swinging around the dark blue background. “I also ordered sweatshirts, shorts, socks, pillows - they have pillows isn’t that cool? I think I got a few bras too.”

Peter flushes at that and sends her an incredulous look. She glances at him, eyes widening when she’s realized what she just said. “I mean, they were available.”

“You bought all of this stuff?”

“Of course.”

Peter feels that little gnawing at his stomach again, the same one he’d felt days ago. He looks around at all of the packages, and the thought of how much money all of it must have cost makes him wince. “Why?”

She furrows her eyebrows, fingers fiddling with the edge of her sleeve in the way she’s always done when wearing long sleeves. “Well, why not?”

Peter runs a hand through his messy hair. “You said you needed time,” he hates how fragile his voice sounds in the quiet room, how easily she gets under his skin. “You haven’t talked to me at all and now you’re acting like everything’s fine and I’m just...really confused?”

She seems to slouch into herself at his words, eyes softening. Her teeth tug her bottom lip into her mouth and she takes her time in bringing her gaze to Peter’s. She takes a step forward, a question sparkling in her eyes, and he finds himself nodding. All he’s wanted is for her to be here, to be on good terms with him, and he knew he’d do whatever she needed to get there.

She circles her arms around his waist and lays her head against his chest. Briefly, he wonders if she can hear how fast his heart is beating, but she speaks before he can fully freak out about that. “I’m sorry. It just took a lot of processing. I mean, first I had to deal with the identity thing, and then there’s also the constant worrying I’m going to have to deal with because I know you’re gonna get hurt, you idiot.”

There’s a pause, and her voice lowers.

“I was mad for a bit. Hurt, I guess. That you didn’t tell me. But then I thought about everything you’ve done for me and hated myself for ever thinking about ditching you for saving the world. So, instead of being the worst best friend ever, I decided to hit the internet and get some merchandise so that I could be your biggest fan.”

Peter twirls a piece of her hair around his finger, pulls her tighter against him. “You didn’t have to do all of this.”

She lifts her head to look at him, eyes narrowing as she observes the contours of his face. “You know I’m always here for you, right?”

He does, but the past three days show something different than that promise and she must see the confliction on his face because she frowns and takes a step back.

She runs her hands over her face and sighs. “Peter, I know what I did, it hurt me too, okay? But I didn’t want to try talking to you when my emotions were all over the place. I could’ve said anything and I wanted to be sure that I wouldn’t dumbly ruin this because I hadn’t given myself enough time to let it sink in.”

“Please understand,” she begs, digging into a ripped bag and producing a shirt identical to her own. “Don’t let our matching shirts go to waste.”

Peter cracks at that, laughing and reaching for the article of clothing. “Seriously?”

Her lips lift in the grin she’s been trying to hold back, shrugging. “It might be a little big, but, yeah. Seriously. We can be Spider-Man’s biggest supporters.”

“Ned’s gonna want one too.”

“I ordered four. Just in case MJ wants one too.”

Peter unfolds it, heart bursting. He should’ve known that she wouldn’t abandon him, that instead, she’d do something like this. She always found ways of sweeping his feet out from under him and leaving him dumbfounded.

All of that guilt and worry from the previous days fizzles into nothing. Peter’s stuck just standing there and staring at his best friend, wondering how he found someone like her that chose to handle him on a daily basis.

“So,” she starts, clutching a white pillow with Spider-Man illustrations to her chest, eyes wide and vulnerable. Peter’s heart skips a beat. “Am I forgiven?”

It’s in that moment that Peter almost crosses the three steps separating them and presses his lips to hers. It’s a quick wave of emotion that’s gone as fast as it came and his stomach sinks a bit when he realizes he has no right to do something like that.

Peter pretends to think over, mostly so that he can get his brain back on the right track and away from her lips. “Did you get sweatpants?”

Her expression morphs into a mix of a smile and agitation. “Yes.”

“Then yeah,” Peter’s face heats in the intensity of her smile. “Just don’t spend this much money on me again.”

“Would I be a proper fan if I didn’t have the merch? I don’t think so.”

“You don't have to have merch to be considered my biggest fan.”

She shrugs and tosses the pillow at his chest. “It’s a bonus.”

He throws it back. “An expensive bonus.”

“Oh, just admit you love me, dork.” She retaliates by hitting him in the shoulder and though it’s harmless, her words catch him off guard.

“I love you,” Peter says, and it’s blurred on a line between best friends and something more and it scares him how close it is to the latter.

But she’s naive to it all, balancing the pillow on top of his head with a smile on her lips that makes him feel like the luckiest person in the world. “That’s more like it.”

She steps back and claps her hands together. “So, you gonna help me unpack or what?”

“You only called me over here to be your slave.”

“No. I called you over here to apologize, and to prove how awesome of a friend I am.” She crosses her arms. “And for you to be my slave.”

Peter blows air out of his nose. “Only because you’re my biggest fan.”

“Can I get you saying that in the suit on video?”

He gives her a look.

She puts her hands up. “Okay, fine. Kidding. Let’s get working, Spider-Boy.”

They work fluidly and have everything stacked in piles soon enough. She nudges him and jokes about them starting a fan page and Peter can’t help but think they’ve made a step towards something. Maybe it’s what he wants it to be towards, or maybe not.

But it’s something.

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werewolfwilds · 6 years

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i redid an ask meme that i had originally done ~3 years ago to see the comparison so for archiving purposes im putting it in a lil journal entry here ! i wanna start doing small journal entries again it was fun when i did that

new answers bolded

1) what images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?

my desktop bg is literally just…. a collage of kageyama manga screencaps a h a,,,, and my cellphone bg are drawings some gay drew me like 74724 years ago :v // my desktop rn is actually a background from one of the dmmd routes LMFAO..... idk which one it is but i’ve always liked those bg pics!! my cell lock screen is p5 art and my bg is leopika

2) have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

nooooope // nah

3) what was your last text message?

my phone is dead so i wouldnt be able to tell you lmfao i dont even remember // it was a gif from kelly lol

4) what do you see yourself doing in 10 years?

hopefully working a job i enjoy and making costumes and being happy!! // god i have no idea and it freaks me out... hopefully working,,

5) if you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?

hoommee ((or at katsucon tbh)) // at the beach with friends maybe

6) what was your coolest halloween costume?

a white cat probably lmao // i dont think ive ever had a particularly exciting halloween costume but one year i was sharpay from high school musical and i think i peaked then tbh

7) what was your favorite 90s show?

uhhhh….. i didnt really… start watching tv until like… the 2000′s so i really cant tell you man lol // spongebob started in 1999 does that coUNT,

8) who was your last kiss?

(answer redacted) // :/ someone should kiss me so i can change this answer lmao

9) have you ever been stood up?

nope // nah

10) favorite ice cream flavor?

vanilla w/ vanilla oreos ok u need to underst a n d // this hasn’t changed i haven’t had this particular ice cream in a long time but i still stand by it

11) have you been to las vegas?

nahh // nope

12) your favorite pair of shoes?

idk i have these black ones i wear everywhere lol // i have a pair of white sneakers that i refuse to stop wearing now

13) honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?

i wouldnt even consider it. // no bc i’m not a piece of shit lmao?

14) what is your favorite fruit?

hmmm…. pineapple orrr…. strawberries but only if they’re the really good kind like they have to be perfect // pineapple!!

15) have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? if possible?

….. ye s… yes. // in the past apparently so but thinking about it now nah lol

16) are you into hookups? short or long term relationships?

hookups arent my thing eh i prefer long term relationships altho i cant really say ive been in a “long” term relationship pffff // i don’t think hookups will ever be my thing, emotionally long term relationships are what i’m here for but i’m also a Very Impulsive Person so i cant tell you if this will stay a fact :’)

17) do you smoke? if so, what?

nope dont wanna // no thanks

18) what do you do to get over your anger?

usually talk to people or shout into word // i have to vent about it to someone probably a thousand times even months or years after it happens tbh

19) do you believe in god?

nahh // nah

20) does the person you’re in love with know it?

i aint in love with anyone rn so no? // i’m not in love with anyone.

21) favorite position?

………….. for w hat………. // oh honey lmfao... N/A

22) what’s your horoscope sign?

virgo/ox ovob // Virgo/sun, Aries/moon, Libra/rising and Cancer/midheaven

23) your fears?

literally everything i already named a few so ill name some others… ghh anything in… the ocean or lakes and stuff frightens me and i really dont know why bu tlike…. fish and crabs and jellyfish and seaweed cuz it’s evil and stu f f basically anything that’s not a mammal or turtles or penguins…. lo l im a baby // uncertainty is a big fear of mine and also people being mad at me lmao... as far as physical fears though i have debilitating fears of almost all insects/arachnids and lobsters/shrimp/crawfish :^)))))

24) how many pets do you have? what kind?

two cats and a dog!! // one cat one dog

25) what never fails to turn you on?

i dunno,,/////// // lol neck biting/kissing oof

26) your idea of a perfect first date?

im okay with mostly anything i just really like spending time with the person ; v ; // i’ve never really had an answer for this? thinking about dates has always made me so anxious for whatever reason but i’ll be happy to just spend time with them doing whatever honestly, i’m a super indecisive person aha

27) what is something most people don’t know about you?

i dont really know tbh lmfao // i’ve considered in the past looking into mental conditions (anxiety/bpd/etc) to see if i might have one or two but i never want to say anything about it because i don’t want to self-diagnose anything.

28) what makes you feel the happiest?

nice weather and nice conversations w/ best people u//v//u // nice weather and hanging out with people who are fun and easy to talk to

29) what store do you shop at most often?

does….. arda wigs count or… // does arda wigs still count bc mood lmao but truthfully now it’s probably target

30) how do you feel about oral? giving and/or receiving?

kkdkjsfkjkjfj??fsfj/// go for i t??? i have no problems with i t??? i dont think ill ever be willing to put a dick in my mouth though // these random sexual questions thrown in here are something aren’t they lmao. not going to disclose much but i will stand by the fact that i will not put a dick in my mouth lo l

31) do you believe in karma?

sometimes ye // i believe that people will eventually get what’s coming to them but i don’t believe in karma as a solid concept if that makes sense? like i don’t think it’s guaranteed

32) are you single?

yup yup // yeah it’s been wild lmao

33) do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?

i think being sincere is the best way to apologize– if you truly mean it the person will know. you dont need to buy your forgiveness. // the best way to apologize is just to apologize sincerely and change your behavior if it’s applicable.

34) are you a good swimmer?

ehh??? im ok i guess– i took swimming lessons as a kid but i havent done legit swimming ever since then lmao,, ive always been best at the backstroke tho yea // i mean i have the ability to swim but i’m not olympic-worthy or anything lmao

35) coffee or tea?

ehhh im not big on either tbh // chocolate milk and you can fight me

36) online shopping or shopping in person?

depends what your shopping for i guess?? online is more relaxed i guess // online probably because shopping in person Gives Me Anxiety

37) would you rather be older or younger than your current age?

ehhh im happy where i am tbh // older

38) cats or dogs?

do not make me choose // cats and dogs* there i fixed it for you

39) are you a competitive person?

ahaa,,,,, oh god yeah,, // OOF yeah

40) do you believe in aliens?

i believe there’s life on other planets somewhere?? so i guess?? // i believe in aliens in the sense that there’s no way we are the only living life forms in the universe but not in the science-fiction way you feel me

41) do you like dancing?

i do but i suck at it lmao // i do but i: A- suck, and B- have no stamina

42) what kind of music to you listen to?

nearly everything tbh // i’m not picky when it comes to music but imma be real w u. almost all of the music on my phone is kpop. seventeen is my favorite group along with astro, and i also enjoy super junior, shinee, red velvet, etc among so many others,,, im pretty wide spread !

43) what is your favorite cartoon character?

i will never be able to pick just one // i’ll literally never be able to answer this

44) where are you from?

philadelphia uvu // philly!

45) eat at home or eat out?

hmmm at home. // at home

46) how much more social are you when you’re drunk?

i never plan on being drunk tyvm // i’ve never consumed alcohol in my life and to be Quite Fucking Honest i want nothing to do with it

47) what was the last thing you bought for yourself?

bracelets ! ; u ; // uh... excluding food and music... earrings i think

48) why do you think your followers follow you?

uhhhhhhh lmfao i have no idea i think… a good amount are for my cosplays at least?? or id like to think so lmfao but i really dont know pfft // my followers have just accumulated and hung around over the years... i know i gained a good amount from my snk days as arlert-the-troops and then through my haikyuu phase, whether it was for my cosplay or other posts that i made... whenever someone follows me now im not entirely sure what its for but i appreciate everyone who’s stuck around!

49) how many hours do you sleep at night?

it’s never regular man // 6-9 (lol) hours is pretty normal for me

50) what worries you most about the future?

everything tbh // the future as a concept worries me lol

#useless shouting #journal crap #sorry for so many personal posts lately ive been having fun with them lmfao

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littlemisssquiggles · 7 years

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RWBY Musings #5: I didn’t go into RWBY Volume 5 expecting to ship RoseGarden as much as I do now. I didn’t even know this ship existed in the first place...

...But then I saw the way Oscar practically gazed at Ruby in Episodes One and Three...and that was it, I got bit HARD by the RoseGarden shipping bug. This ship got me hook, line and sinker.

I saw Oscar’s face and now I’m a believer!

“...I’m sorry, it’s just that I’ve never met real huntsmen and huntresses before..” says the boy who literally just met a huntsmen 5 minutes ago at a bar and has the spirit of a huntsmen living in his body.

But, sure, I’ll accept you saying that totally-not-BS excuse to the girl you just tried to sneak a peak at, looking at Ruby the same way Scrat from Ice Age looks at his nuts.

I just don’t know how much more I can voice about my interest in this ship that I haven’t already said before. I know it’s something that certain shippers are against but I, for one, really would like to see this become something.

I truly want Oscar and Ruby to have a close friendship that could/would ultimately turn into something more.

As a matter of fact, let me tell ya’ll what I want for this ship:

- I want, for this first Volume that they’re meeting each other for the first time, Oscar to be the one with the romantic interest; having a HUGE crush on Ruby that is obvious to everyone else but her. I can see Ruby genuinely liking Oscar too but not really seeing him in that light as yet...at least not for maybe another volume or two (possibly following a time skip so that the two characters can age up allowing perfect time for Oscar to fully mature into the sexy beast his fans know he’s going to become) C’mon! We all know that’s what is gonna happen. The cute cinnamon roll always becomes the smexilicous stud muffin in the end. It is the law of cartoon main male character evolution, people. That’s biology for yuh there!)

- I want Ruby and Oscar to stand next to each other in the same frame just so that fans get a good idea of exactly how small Oscar is to Ruby. We all know that Oscar is definitely the shortest of the males since he’s the youngest now. But what I want to know mostly is his full height when standing next to Ruby. There’s a part of me that estimates that he’s only shorter than her by a few centimetres. Still a smol gentle avocado but not too much of a short bean sprout. Although if he is inches shorter than our red-haired protagonist, I’ll laugh cause it’d be so cute. On another hand, I think Oscar and Ruby could be roughly around the same height, surprisingly. But...can’t really tell for now. Got to wait to see them stand next to each other to be more accurate.

- I want Ruby and Oscar to share a room together and be roommates. I imagine that since Qrow will be out gathering huntsmen in Mistral, he’ll be gone for a while leaving Ruby all by herself to one room. Last time I checked there were two beds in her room and one of them was originally occupied by Qrow while he was recovering. So maybe before his departure, Qrow tells Oscar that he can have his side of the room while he’s out, neglecting to also mention the fact that his room was also Ruby’s. I can imagine an awkward moment with Oscar gleefully showing up to his new room only to meet Ruby standing there as she opened the door, instantly becoming all flustered and embarrassed at the idea of sharing the room with a girl. But while Oscar turns into a tomato over sharing a room with his crush, Ruby will be all hyper and super excited about having a roommate her age again since she hasn’t since her original team. Plus I’m sure Ruby would find Oscar to be a more pleasant roommate than Drunkle Qrow. I really want to see this cause I imagine it’d be cute and funny at the same time; just to see each character’s reactions. And before anyone comes to my comment section yelling at me that Ruby and Oscar staying in the same room together is inappropriate, allow me to gently direct your attention to Jaune, Nora and Ren. When Pyrrha was around, Team JNPR were (and still are) a unisex team who shared a room together and that was not a problem at all. I’m pretty sure that they still share a room together because of familiarity. We did get a glimpse of them all together in the same room looking at Pyrrha’s old weapon. So I wouldn’t be surprised if the group share the same room again while staying in Mistral.

- I want Ruby and Oscar to train together and bond through helping each other strengthen their weaknesses; similar to how Pyrrha and Jaune were. Imagine this...what if Ruby can help Oscar with his training to ‘strength his body and Aura’ as Ozpin put in and Oscar, in turn, could assist Ruby with her hand-to-hand combat training by being her main sparring partner because...as it turned out Oscar is actually good at that (might even be a natural cause y’know of his farmhand background so he’s used to using his hands and being on his feet and y’know *insert reference to how the techniques and disciplines for hand-to-hand combat are akin to performing basic daily chores and work...y’know like how it was in the Jack Chan/Jaden Smith Karate Kid movie and blah blah*.

- I want Ruby and Oscar, despite hints of deeper feelings, to grow really close as friends and become comfortable around each other to the point that they’re just REALLY cool being in each other’s company. For the longest while, I’ve had this cute fanart idea in my head of Oscar and Ruby on the same bed. Oscar is studiously reading one of the books he brought with him from his aunt’s farm while Ruby is either sprawled over his stomach or lying down with her head resting on his stomach, reading one of her comic books. Might even toss in a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies (prepared by Ren or even Oscar) that the two are sharing together; all smiles. Oscar is still all flushed of being so close to his crush but overall the two are comfortable being that close in each other’s company.

- I want several hand holding moments between Oscar and Ruby. No explanation needed. Just want to see it cause it’d be cute.

- I want Oscar to selflessly put his own life on the line to protect Ruby. Like maybe Tyrian, after getting a second chance from Salem, returns to capture Ruby. And since Tyrian doesn’t know him, Oscar does what I can only describe as a stupidly brave thing, to keep Ruby safe. Not only does he hide her away (catching her off guard and probably locking her in a room somewhere) but he also pilfers her red hood and maybe even Crescent Rose. All the tools he needs to make his disguise complete. Oscar then dresses himself as Ruby and uses himself a decoy to lure Tyrian away from the real Ruby. Since Ruby and Oscar are practically around the same height, Tyrian wouldn’t be able to tell the difference giving Oscar the advantage. Tyrian would either capture Oscar thinking its Ruby or be fooled long enough for Oscar to lure him straight outta Mistral. I can already see Ozpin practically screaming in Oscar’s mind how his actions, while commendably noble, were also foolish. It’s something that I can picture Oscar doing for Ruby and it would be a nice thing to see in the show, maybe.

- I want Ruby and Oscar to fight together; utilizing everything they learned during their training. Ruby and Oscar vs Tyrian. Do I even need to justify why I want to see this happen? To quote Griff from RVB, “It’ll be totally badass”. And of course it’ll end with Oscar and Ruby defeating Tyrian. They won’t kill him (of course) but maybe they’ll capture him and use him for interrogation purposes into learning Salem’s plans.

- I want a cheek kiss moment. Like maybe after they defeat Tyrian together, Ruby kisses Oscar on his big adorable freckly cheeks as thanks for trying to protect her (but not before giving him two good punches to the shoulder for locking her up, stealing her hood and weapon AND endangering himself and Ozpin; even if it was for her which...I believe Ruby would grow wary of at some point. Tired of seeing the people she cares about get hurt for her sake and Oscar would be no exception).

- I want, if Ruby and Oscar fight together, can they please have a tag team attack named ‘Rose Garden’? The tag team attacks are something I miss from the show. That part in Season II where RWBY fought together and had all the cool tag team attack names was admittedly one of my favourite moments/fights of the season. Can we bring that back just for these two cuties kicking ass together.

I think that’s it for things I want from this ship.

I didn’t choose the RosePine/ RoseGarden shipping life, it choose me or rather it twacked me over the head with the adorable awkwardness of a potential relationship between these two adorkable characters. I can’t with them. They are just too CUTE! I hope we get to see more Ruby and Oscar interactions in the next episode before we get to the big training montage. The main focus of the last episode was more exposition rather than getting to know each other and as much as I enjoyed that scene, I hope we get some lighthearted moments just for the characters to just talk to each other; y’know and not about war and impending doom. I guess we’ll see in the next episode. See you guys in Episode 4. Peace!

~LittleMissSquiggles (2017)

#rwby #rwby volume 5 #oscar pine #ruby rose #rwby rosegarden #rwby predictions #oscar and ruby #rwby musings

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johnbutlersbuzz · 6 years

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IN THE LAND OF TWISTERS & OZ

Sometimes you have to leave a place to learn how special it is to you.

A girl named Dorthy Gale found that out in a most peculiar way. I’m on my way to visit Dorthy’s house today.

Driving north on Hwy 83, the one running smack dab up through the middle of America, I made it through the Texas Panhandle, crossed the Oklahoma Panhandle, and now I'm in the frying pan of Kansas.

As I have mentioned before, 83 has been called the “Road To Nowhere.” But I call it Heartland Highway, for reasons that become apparent when you drive any significant portion of the 1,885 miles stretching from old Mexico to Canada, right through the center of the United States.

Kansas is, possibly, the heart of Heartland Highway.

It’s been home to the Kickapoo people, Kaw, Cheyenne, Potawatomi, and other tribes. Don Francisco Vasquez de Coronado was the first European to visit, along with a small group of explorers in 1541, looking for the “Seven Cities of Gold.”

My trusty stead-on-wheels, ARGO, groomed by Airstream and powered by a Mercedes diesel engine, transports me past fields of corn, soybean, wheat, hay, sunflowers and a whole lot of Broom-corn, switchgrass, bluestem, and Indian-grass.

I’ve changed into a fresh brown short-sleeved khaki shirt, which harmonizes more with the farmers and ranchers when I stop at the local cafes along the way. But the cargo shorts and loafers with no socks still present a juxtaposition. No one has said anything; just guessing by the occasional once-over glancing from locals. It’s a long drive, so I’m more concerned with comfort. Know what I mean.

The state of Kansas continues to be noted as the beginning, and end setting of a Hollywood movie made way back in 1939, The Wizard of Oz. The story where a twelve-year-old girl, Dorthy and her dog, Toto, are transported from her aunt and uncle's farmhouse, suddenly, and not so elegantly, via tornado, to the mysterious fantasy land of Oz.

The story is based on the book by L. Frank Baum, published in 1900, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz. His story captured readers imagination, and it became a hit with the first printing. The story was brought to life on the big screen in a dramatic, innovative way in 1939, engaging audiences on a worldwide scale. It’s what movie critics call, an “essential.”

If you haven’t seen the movie, then cancel whatever nonsense you had planned to watch on TV tonight, locate a copy of the Wizard Of Oz movie, throw a bag of popcorn in the microwave (adding extra butter of course), and watch. You’ll be taken on a beautiful journey.

Sixteen-year-old Judy Garland is endearingly adorable in the lead role of Dorthy Gale. The characters are archetypical of good and evil, from Glinda, the good witch, to the Wicked Witch of the West.

And the film’s special effects are a marvel, unique in the late thirties, and still, stand up today. Yes, kids, late thirties, well before computer generated movies with exploding-after-effects. Even the use of color was used in a special way, with the tornado scene in black-and-white, with Oz in color. And kids, this will throw you a curve, cell phones only existed in cartoons; the two-way-radio version worn on Dick Tracy’s wrist.

So here I am north of the Kansas/Oklahoma state line in the sweet little town of Liberty. I'm told it's a must-stop-place on Highway 83, the Heartland Highway, for at least one reason, to walk through Dorthy's House and the Coronado Museum. So, I guess I gotta go see it.

One resident of Liberty I chatted with at a local cafe, shared a little background letting me in on the secret: "the town first rejected the Oz movie mystique hung on them, then decided to embrace it." Well, whether they would have decided to or not, the characters of Dorthy, her dog Toto, Annie Em, the Scare Crow, the Cowardly Lion, the Munchkins, the Wizard and all the rest of the cast, became linked forever to Kansas.

Tornados are also linked to Kansas too. Each county in the state has had approximately 30 to 50 tornados since 1950, according to the National Weather Service.

So, here I am on the walkthrough of Dorthy's farm home and the diorama recreating the Land of Oz. All beautifully camp-shtick. I'm being led by one of the adorable teenagers playing the role of Dorthy Gale. I’m told not to use her real name, so mums-the-word, so to speak.

This girl is part of the Dorthy Program, and I find out later, that is one of the cool educational dimensions of the place. Girls from middle school and high school are accepted into the program where they memorize lines from the movie, learn to tell the story, and guided to develop their confidence and speaking abilities.

Once they pass the test, they are bestowed with the distinctive farm-style gingham dress; step into the famous ruby-red slippers and become the personification of Dorthy Gale, the star of the story. One of these young girls is my personal tour guide today, narrating the journey of the fictional Dorthy, who was taken suddenly, amidst a violent storm, from a small Kansas farmhouse to the Yellow Brick Road in the mystical Land of Oz.

Mind you, this tour is not a Hollywood mega-budget production. It’s a fun odyssey by foot through adjoining rooms staged to tell the story. Starting in a typical Kansas farmhouse living room, we experience an approaching tornado as the windows begin to rattle, curtains whip erratically, lights flicker, and the wind roars louder and louder. Past the curtains thrashing back and forth over the window, there is a picture of an approaching tornado.

Now at this point, and on a personal note, very unexpectedly … this ominous simulated turmoil triggered a terrifying memory for me.

When I was six years old, I experienced the real thing.

My family was living in Durant, Oklahoma for a few years. It was dinner time, late afternoon on an April day, just before six o'clock. Mom was in the kitchen cooking fried chicken, along with black-eyed peas, and mashed potatoes and cream gravy. An apple pie cooling on the counter. All the mouth-watering, hunger-inducing aromas of a home cooked meal wafted the warm, unusually calm, afternoon air.

And yes, that is the way I grew up, with home-cooked meals every day (yes I know … strange in today's culture, at least in the USA).

So, nothing unusual about the day as I stood in the kitchen looking out the back screen door. My little six-year-old mind was deliberating, not sure if I wanted to go out to play for a few minutes, or talk mom into a pre-dinner chicken drumstick before we sat down for dinner around the kitchen table when my dad got home from work.

“Hey mom, that’s a funny looking cloud?” I said. She stepped away from the stove to a take a peek out the screen door to see what I was talking about. For a few seconds, mom just stood there next to me, staring out at the sky, processing what she was seeing. A thin tube of a cloud was wobbling from the wild-blue-yonder, all the way to the ground, and out of an otherwise clear sky. The rotating shaft was coming right toward us. It was getting bigger. I could now see stuff flying up from the land around the bottom of it.

“Oh my God,” she screamed in a panicked voice. “That’s a funnel cloud … a tornado!”

I pushed the screen door open to go outside for a closer look. Mom instantaneously grabbed my arm, pulling me away from the door as she turned full-tilt to extinguish the gas flames on the stove-top burners. She led me lickety-split into the center of the house while excitedly yelling for my younger sister to come quick. Cathy was playing dolls in her room. Cathy ran into the room to see what all the commotion was about, then grabbed on to mom.

“Get down!” Mom commanded as she pushed us toward the floor with her arms around us. “Cover your heads … get down!”

We did, and my mom started saying the Lord’s Prayer very intently, leading my sister and me. And it was recited with immediate, intense sincerity.

At six-years-old, I didn’t fully understand what was going on, but I knew my mom was scared for us. And that frightened me. Danger was lurking. I could feel my heart racing. My sister started crying. My mom did too.

Just like in Dorthy’s tornado simulation, the windows rattled, curtains flapped around. The wind picked up speed rapidly, and at the peak, the noise was so loud it sounded like, similar to how others have described, a freight train in the sky going right over our house. The loud noise faded almost as fast as it came. The air was still again. Silence.

We had been in the path of the tornado, but it shifted course, narrowly avoiding us.

Our house had some roof damage, but the neighbor’s home suffered more. I remember a tree was knocked down nearby. Limbs and debris were scattered about the yards.

My dad rushed in the door hugging us all tighter than ever.

It’s all vividly archived in my memory, along with the chicken dinner mom was making. When we finally sat down to eat, my mom was still very emotional, saying several times, “this meal could have been our last.” Later we found out three people were killed.

The next day my dad drove all of us to the nearby areas to survey the destruction. It’s hard to believe such devastation was caused by that funny cloud in the shape of a funnel. And by happenstance, I had seen it coming through the screen door.

When the tornado came to Dorthy’s house in the fictional story, she was knocked unconscious, before being swept up into the sky. She found herself transported to a strange land, a place that morphed her black-and-white Kansas farm world into one filled with color in the Land of Oz. It was exciting, both the place and the new friends she met. But Dorthy, as a result of the terrible, yet color filled eye-opening ordeal realized what was most important to her, she wanted only to return home, to her family in Kansas.

Unlike Dorthy, I wasn’t knocked out or transported to any magical place via the tornado I lived through. But I do know what Dorthy came to realize. My family, my home, is the most valuable thing I have in life. Not the house, which can be blown apart in an instant by a funny cloud, but the most valuable thing of all: home, and all the word means. Home is the place where someone cares about us; where we are protected, understood and loved.

As Dorthy famously says in the final act of the movie, “There’s no place like home.”

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the-smolartist · 7 years

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LSD

What is it? LSD (Lysergic Acid Diethylamide) is a powerful hallucinogen. It’s a drug which alters a persons perception of sights, sounds, touch etc., to the extent where hallucinations can occur – that is, where the user sees or hears things that don’t, in reality, exist. LSD is a semi-synthetic drug derived from lysergic acid that is found in ergot – a fungus that grows on rye and other grains. In its pure form it is a white, odourless crystalline powder that is soluble in water. Medicinal uses LSD has no applications as a medicine, although it has been suggested that it may have some uses in the treatment of certain mental illnesses. Use of LSD LSD is commonly known as ‘Acid’. It was popular in the UK during the late 1960’s and early 1970’s and also again in the late 1980’s with the rise of ‘acid house parties’. Its popularity has declined with the appearance of Ecstasy and LSD now has a relatively limited number of users when compared to that drug. It is manufactured for the street market in illicit laboratories, mostly in Europe and North America. LSD is an almost unbelieveably potent drug. An average dose taken for a ‘trip’ would be around 200 micrograms. That is one fifth of a milligram – or one five-thousandths of a gram. A single heaped tea spoonful of LSD would contain something like 20-25,000 doses! Because a single dose of LSD is so small, the pure drug is usually diluted to a great extent and then a single drop containing enough for one dose is placed onto blotting paper, sugar cubes etc. Blotting paper is a popular medium for the drug as it can be cut into squares, representing single doses, that can be decorated with cartoon characters and suchlike (see illustrations at top of page). Alternatively, the drug can be added to gelatine sheets or made into tablets or capsules. LSD tablets can be very small. An example is that commonly called a ‘microdot’, which is about the side of a pinhead. This can be very strong because of the difficulty in accurately measuring and preparing the tiny quantities necessary for an effective dose. A single dose – or ‘trip’ – costs between 3 and 5 Pound Sterling. What effect does it have? The effects of LSD are unpredictable. Like any other drug, its effects depend on the amount taken, the user’s personality, mood and expectations, past experience of the drug and the surroundings in which the drug is taken. These factors are particularly important with LSD because its hallucinogenic properties can be so strong. If anything in the immediate environment is perceived as – say – oppressive or threatening, under the influence of LSD the ‘normal’ reaction of mild anxiety can take the form of totally overwhelming fear. It is difficult – if not impossible – to predict the effects of LSD on any person, even if they have taken the drug before. Usually, the user feels the first effects of the drug 30-90 minutes after taking it. The hallucinogenic effects reach a plateau after about 1-2 hours, with repeated peaks of intensity. LSD causes dramatic changes in perception, thoughts and mood. This can include: Vivid ‘pseudo-hallucinations’ – i.e. where a part of the user’s conscious thought is aware that the hallucinations of sight, sound, smell and touch are not real. Distorted perceptions of time, where minutes can seem like hours. Distorted perception of distance, perspective and colour. Small objects may seem huge, and large objects small. A close object may seem to be very distant and a distant object very close. Amplification of the relationship between the user and his/her surroundings – for some this may be a feeling of oneness with the universe, for others a feeling of terror and loneliness. Apparent fusion of the senses, where sounds are ‘seen’, colours ‘heard’ and smells ‘felt’. Loss of control over thought processes, which can result in insignificant thoughts or objects taking on an importance out of proportion to their status. Mental/emotional experiences of a mystical, religious, or cosmic nature – or that’s how they may appear to the user. The validity of such experiences is questionable. Many regular users experience unpleasant reactions to LSD sooner or later – or this can happen the first time a person takes the drug. These ‘bad trips’ can occur anytime with any user. They often take the form of very intense feelings of fear, anxiety or depression. Users may feel that they have lost their identity, their place in the world and that there is no reality to hold on to. It is difficult for anyone who has not experienced this to appreciate just how terrifying it can be – when all perceptions are amplified. In ‘bad trips’, pseudo-hallucinations can give way to terrifying true hallucinations, sometimes resulting in very erratic behaviour. In some cases, this psychotic state lasts several days or even longer. Physical effects The physical effects of taking LSD include dilated pupils, higher body temperature, increased heart rate and blood pressure, sweating, loss of appetite, sleeplessness, dry mouth, and tremors. These usually pass unnoticed by the user as the mental/emotional effects of the drug are far stronger. Tolerance Tolerance to LSD’s effects develops rapidly, making larger amounts of the drug necessary to produce the same effects. Often, within a few days of consecutive daily doses, no amount of the drug will produce the desired effect. After several days of abstinence the hallucinatory effects are again felt. Consequences for Physical Health LSD appears to have few direct effects on the physical health of a user. No deaths caused by an LSD overdose have ever been reported and there is no physical dependence on the drug, as no withdrawal symptoms occur when a user stops taking it. However, LSD can exert a profound indirect effect on physical health. Cases of suicide have occurred after taking LSD and the drug can induce violent or hazardous behaviour, resulting in death or injury to the user or others. Driving a motor vehicle, walking near traffic or being near vertical drops while under the influence of LSD can all result in serious or fatal accidents. Irrational behaviour is common under the influence of the drug and a user may run onto a busy road or attempt to fly etc. Similarly, the distorted perception of time and distance and other vivid hallucinations caused by LSD make driving a motor vehicle absolute madness – yet an LSD user would have no real appreciation of the dangers. Mental Health Repeated use of LSD may result in prolonged depression and anxiety. The drug may reveal deep seated mental or emotional problems that were previously unknown to the user. Heavy users sometimes develop signs of organic brain damage, such as impaired memory and attention span, mental confusion and difficulty with abstract thinking. It is not yet known whether such mental changes are permanent or if they disappear when LSD use is stopped. ‘Flashbacks’ can occur, where a person experiences LSD’s effects for a short time without taking the drug. These can occur up to two years after the last time LSD was taken and may be very frightening. A small minority of regular LSD users become psychologically dependent on the drug and the need to keep taking it becomes a compulsion. Legal consequences LSD is a Class A drug under the Misuse of Drugs Act. It is illegal to produce, supply or possess it. The offence of supply – in the eyes of the law – can be committed by giving a single dose to another person. Prepared by Paul Roberts in UK http://www.darvsmith.com/dox/drugtypes.html http://eliterehaballiance.com/drug-types-from-stimulants-to-tranquilizers/

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Prepared by Paul Roberts in UK http://www.darvsmith.com/dox/drugtypes.html #Stimulants #Depressants #Analgesics #Hallucinogens #Alcohol #Amphetamines #Barbiturates #Cannabis #Cocaine #Ecstasy #GHB #Heroin #Inhalants #LSD #Methadone #’Magic’ Mushrooms #Tranquilizers

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eliterehaballiance · 7 years

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LSD

Drug Addiction

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totesmccoats · 7 years

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Batman #26

Having recovered from being stabbed, Riddler declares that he will kill the Joker. Joker demands Carmine Falcone to kill the Riddler before Riddler gets the chance. And the war begins in earnest, with Batman, for once, steps behind.

The issue begins with Bruce narrating (to Selina), giving the biographies of people the Joker had murdered, and through the entire book, every casualty is given a name and a sentence of characterization. King refuses to let these victims become just mooks in the wake of the supervillians war. And it shows how much this failure weighs on Bruce. He remembers all of them.

Meanwhile, Gotham’s worst choose their side, willingly or through coercion. The worst is yet to come.

Janin and Chung’s art is impeccable, recalling Bolland in certain Joker scenes, and further making all these characters feel like flesh and blood rather than just cartoon casualties.

Superman #26

We’re back to peak Superdad in this issue, as Clark tries to teach Jon how to use his powers responsibly to keep the world safe from threat. But Jon wants to do things his own way.

I’m a sucker for anything with good dads, and this issue is an adorable dad story. Jon is rambunctious and young and itching to be a hero, and Clark is having trouble focusing that without being smothering. And I have bottomless appreciation for Clark not being a perfect father right of the bat, because it isn’t something you can solve with powers; it requires goodness and practice.

Green Arrow #26

Ollie tracks the Ninth Circle to a mountain range outside Seattle – now Star City – where the wildlife has been infected with the Speed Force. And the disruption the Speed Force summons another hero, the Flash, to help deal with the issue.

Unfortunately, this issue isn’t as strong as its heroic team-up might lead you to believe. It’s not bad, but coming off the series’ last arc, this issue feels too light – almost frivolous – until a penultimate page reveal points our heroes towards their next goal. It feels like a one-and-done type story that’s being stretched and squeezed between the end of the last arc and the beginning of the next one, and consequently, this issue doesn’t feel like it had room to justify its own existence as, essentially, a segue.

I’m of two minds about Byrne’s art in this issue. I’m a big fan of bold, saturated, cartoony styles, but this art is begging to be animated, and because it isn’t, it feels lifeless, frozen in place. The art in this book doesn’t so much imply movement as it feels like keyframe art minus the other 21 frames a second. I honestly might have liked this issue better as a five minute short than a single-issue comic.

Hawkeye #8

Following from last issue, Kate confronts her father, who looks 20 years too young, and is in league with Madame Masque. And, in a parallel story taking place a few hours afterwards, a beaten and tired Hawkeye investigates into a new case of a young girl’s missing father, which takes her to an underground fight club.

I’m about as equally vulnerable to daddy-issues stories as I am to superdad stories, so consider this issue another win in my book. I like how Kate immediately spots the parallels between her relationship with her dad, and what she sees appearing to happen between her new client and her father, and how that weighs down on her through the issue. Also, like last issue, we’re seeing a Katie struggling to keep it together. She’s physically beat, over-tired, emotionally drained, and is past frayed on the edges to full-on out-of-it. Katie needs a rest, but feels like she can’t stop moving, and it makes her sloppy.

Black Bolt #3

Crusher’s escape plan continues, mostly as intended, with each prisoner – Black Bolt included – doing their part to break out, free other prisoners, and kill their jailers.

Ahmed’s story is propulsive and scant, reaching a state where the plot becomes lost behind organic interactions and reactions between characters. In only three issues, the characterization is so strong that this issue barely feels plotted at all, as though these characters actually existed and were making their own choices. Black Bolt as Crusher’s rivalry is one of the best relationships in comics right now, each coming from diametric backgrounds, but also each having gained a respect for the other.

Ward’s art, again, steals the spotlight, this issue with how it plays with pink and blue contrasts. The contrast creates natural focus points, drawing your eye forward through the issue, the pink a neon light at the end of the jail’s tunnel. Ward also even gets to show us his version of a Kirby machine, and it’s an absolute stunner of a thing.

Uber: Invasion #7

The Americans deploy a secret weapon to use against Battleship Siegfried during the attempted invasion of Detroit.

That’s really the entire plot of the issue, which acts as basically a single-scene climax for this first part of Invasion. The allies bring out their best bet for taking down a Nazi Battleship, and within two minutes of comic time, which is extended to last most of this issue, we find out whether or not it works.

I won’t spoil here exactly how the issue stretches out those two minutes, but the dramatic tension pays off spectacularly. Every “second” hangs pregnant in the air, with the debriefing-like narration making the entire issue feel like a second-by-second play-by-play; as though we were scrubbing footage frame-by-frame to witness the exact turning point in this war.

And, of course, the book doesn’t shy away from its parallels to the actual World War II, specifically towards the treatment of African American soldiers, like the Tuskegee airmen.

The Wicked + The Divine #29

Baal and Ami recruit Laura to try and track down Sakhmet after she slaughtered all those people in that orgy last issue, which takes them through a talking tour of the rest of the Pantheon.

This is actually a really cool way to start the arc, as it basically reestablishes where all these characters are at the moment. Baal, Ami, Woden, Dionyus, Minerva, and the Norns are still trying to work out what the Darkness is and a way to stop it, which Sakhmet’s slaughter interrupts. When Laura, Dio, and the Norns go to the Underground to ask Morrigan if she’s been hiding Sakhmet, we find out that Morrigan still holds a grudge against Laura for her sleeping with the currently missing Baphomet; and convinced that Morrigan has done something to him, Dio decides to wait in the underground until Morrigan releases him.

Meanwhile, Laura herself is still living in an hedonistic daze, bounding from bed to bed, party to party, and god to god, frustrated by others involving her in the things they care about, like the end of the world. In a way, it returns things to how they were in the beginning of the series, with Laura as an outsider to the goings on of the Pantheon; only now, instead of wanting to be part of it, she tries her best to ignore them.

Snotgirl #6

Months after the New Years incident, Lottie’s life has returned to normal mostly. Her, Normgirl and Cutegirl are having their regular Hater’s Brunch when Cute’s twin shows up, revealing her real age, name, and other details about their childhood. Then, at a meet-up, Lottie runs into Caroline’s cute younger brother, who asks Lottie to reconnect with his sister, who she apparently hasn’t spoken to since New Years.

Another first issue of a new arc that gently refamiliarizes readers with the characters and status quo. Maybe it’s just because of the hiatus, but Lottie even seems slightly more likable in this issue. Her disdain for most other people, including her fans, is still there, but we also see that she appreciates what she means to her fans, and – even if it’s just to get closer to her brother – she does reach out to Caroline, who has been in a malaise since we’ve last seen her.

Lottie is also helped by comparing her to Cutegirl, who is taken down a few notches in this issue by her twin sister. Better by comparison is still, technically, a type of better.

Comic Reviews for 7/5/17 Batman #26 Having recovered from being stabbed, Riddler declares that he will kill the Joker. Joker demands Carmine Falcone to kill the Riddler before Riddler gets the chance.

#batman #black bolt #dc comics #green arrow #hawkeye #invasion #snotgirl #superman #the flash #the wicked + the divine #uber

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guslawrencealevelmedia · 7 years

Text

In what ways does your media product use, develop, challenge forms and Conventions of a real media product?

The Conventions of an opening sequence are structured in the way in which they are presented to audiences, when I was creating my opening sequence I had to make decisions on whether to conform or challenge these conventions. here is a in-depth look at the decisions i made in terms of conventions.

Titles are one of the main conventions of with the Opening sequence to a film. The information they deliver is somewhat important because it informs the audience of who does what. Titles are used to display actor/character names and relevant information which was used in the creation of the film. They are displayed in a relevant font which is linked to the film and aesthetically links in.

I am creating a short film, short films are generally not much longer than 5-7 minutes, anything longer is quite rare. my film is roughly 5-6 minutes long with the institutional codes at the beginning. it is hard to display a good clear narrative in this short amount of time, but a good short film does. Sometimes they may seem a little rushed and shortened due to the lack off time and some key establishing shots and long take shorts are not always included. However short narratives and story’s can be some of the most exciting and hooking due to this trait. In my short film i am trying to balance this throughout by including a variety of different shot types in this short period of time.

The budget of my short film is very small. I have spent no more than £30 due to the fact of buying two lottery tickets because one went missing, and petrol costs in my car getting to the filming locations. Compared to a short film like “Thunder Road” which won the Short Film Grand Jury Prize at the 2016 Sundance Film festival can spend up to tens of thousands, but that is still considerably smaller than the millions it can cost to make a normal film. My short film has been so cheap to make because the equipment i use has been borrowed from my school media department which has saved me a considerable amount if i had to go purchase it myself.

The Equipment i used when filmed my short film was a Canon DSLR, an external microphone for the scenes with speech and a Tripod. The DSLR is a good quality camera for the quality and level of work i am producing. Once i use the camera to film i have been downloading the footage to a hard drive and then using Final Cut Pro to edit the footage. The External microphone is perfect for the scenes with speech because it amplifies the sound once it has been recorded, the microphone built into the camera itself doesn't support quiet sound and can struggle to pick it up. I used the tripod to support the camera whilst taking still shots, otherwise the natural movement of your body affect the camera shot and it is noticeable.

The Audience of my short film are from the slightly older teenager 18/19 to adults. I haven't aimed it at a lower ages because the narrative conveys stealing, and i do not want young people picking up on these acts and repeating it in real life. Also the narrative might be hard to understand for young people whereas an adult will immediately understand the narrative.

The ancillary Tasks of creating a Film Poster and Newspaper Spread also have followed these conventions.

For the Film poster i have followed the conventions where i placed the the text and information in a conformed place on the poster, along with the images and the title. Firstly i created a title and placed it in the centre of the poster. I did this to catch the eye of the viewer of the poster. Just underneath the title i have placed the key actors names. After researching various posters, i realised real media products have this to hook the audience in and encourage them to watch the film. So by having the Star actors names right on the front of the poster it will let the viewers easily see their names and then want to watch the film.

Most Film posters have a background image on the poster which is used to set the scene and give the audience a little peak of what they type of Mise En Scene they will be watching. This Feature can help the audience decide wether they are going to potentially like the film or dislike them film due to their taste in films before it has even started.

Lastly, at the bottom of film posters there is a piece of text which is quite fine and narrow, this tells the audience about the Cast, Crew and Certificate of the film. The text is always in the ultra Narrow font which is Iconic and always used. I have also used it to follow the conventions of a real media product.

The other Task was to create a Newspaper Spread which would be in a newspaper to promote the short film. From what i have researched and viewed myself, i have noticed they all follow the same layout roughly. for example Newspaper film spreads all evolve a large picture of the main protagonist coving a area of one of the two pages, along with a reasonable amount of text, comments, actors names, and titles. So when i went to create my newspaper spread on Adobe Photoshop, i created a template and masked it out with shapes so i had a grid to follow. I wanted mine to have a cartoon/colourful feel to it, which in my eyes would grab the readers attentions because it will jump out of the page more. I firstly created a space for the main Protagonists picture, and then i drew the border which will house the text and Picture. By doing this i am following the Real Conventions which are used.

The Text which is in the Newspaper Spread has some spoiler information about the short film and some Quotes from the Director and other Newspaper Critics. This Text follows the conventions of real media Newspaper Spreads.

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