#BECAUSE I STRUGGLE WITH GREEN SOMETIMES <-skill issue

[cervideity]

messin around

#BECAUSE I STRUGGLE WITH GREEN SOMETIMES <-skill issue #my notes are obscured but the takeaway is that in manga they ALMOST* look exactly the same so ive taken some traits they sometimes exhibit #and filed them to either one or the other. like the gradient or the pieshape or the black sleeves #also i tend to think of greens tunic color as more of a yellow green?? theres no reason for this thats just what my brain autocompleted so #green link #four swords #four swords manga #link four swords #<- ? are there any Regular Link four swords fans out there (as in are people specifically searchin him up) (i love him just seems doubtful) #hello person reading these tags ily

[birdofmay]

Frequently occurring scenario in 4 steps:

a nonverbal/nonspeaking autistic who struggles to express themself in "proper English" talks about an issue within the autistic community

-> almost no likes, no reblogs

I write about the same thing later; good wording and clear structure

-> many likes, lots of reblogs, people commenting "Oh, that's so important to know, thank you!"

Honestly....... It may be confusing at first, but once you know the pattern it's actually pretty easy to understand ungrammatical sentences on AAC.

You know that many autistics struggle with "I" and pronouns, right? Assume they'll simply drop it and refer to themselves in third person (their name).

Many AAC devices make punctuation difficult. There will be a period after a word because the device just . does . this . thing . here. And often no commas because that's complicated too.

Maybe "I am", "This is", "There is" or "It's" are difficult to find - assume it's "is", or sometimes "I am" is just "Am".

Future and past tense can be difficult too. The context helps here.

"Is not [name] . Say. Is . Say . Green." - "That's not what I said. I said it's green."

Plus, sometimes words are hard to find so it's easier to describe them.

"Red water" or "waterfall eyes" could be easier/faster to find and write than "blood" or "I am crying/sad", depending on the device or the language skills.

And if you really don't understand something because the preposition is unclear and you don't know if the thing in question is in the bathroom, in front of the bathroom, on the sink, under the sink, etc..... Just ask for clarification.

Once you know what words are important for the meaning of the sentence, it's not that hard. Don't ignore those of us who struggle with expressive language just because you're used to "proper" English.

[thebrightmillenial]

SAM WINCHESTER HEADCANONS

Sam Winchester is left handed.

He is lactose intolerant, which isn't confirmed but is also my headcanon and I am keeping it because I can.

He enjoys forensics, chemistry, law, english and theater - particularly law and forensics, but is really skilled in english which is mostly canon.

Not a huge fan of tattoos, but still got his along with Dean after Sam got possessed by Meg.

His favorite scent is grass and old books. He just finds it comforting and reminds him back of Stanford, when he and Jess would sit together under a tree, on the grass, reading books. Total silence, but still no time was being wasted.

He can't enjoy being around cats. He just doesn't like them. There isn't really a reason or a trauma behind it. He sees a cat, he keeps his distance if he is given the chance.

Sam feels relatively anxious if he can't understand something. This will sometimes cause him to chew on his nails or even obsess over the problem in question to no end.

The reason his wifi is exceptionally good is because he actually befriended a witch. The deal was an essay in exchange for all wifi bars anytime he needed. This isn't my headcanon but I love it.

He is able to draw really well, but only when he has visions about it.

Sam sleeps mostly laying on his stomach but sometimes feels comfortable sleeping on his right side.

Mostly vegetarian - once or twice he will break the rule but he likes to keep to that diet.

He actively searches hunting lore. He doesn't fully hate hunting itself. He just hates not being given the choice.

This is more canon than not, but if you want to read Sam Winchester's emotions, look at his eyes. What his face won't show, his eyes will immediately show as much as he tries to hide it.

Sam can't stand to talk about himself without talking about other people's problem's first. The moment he tries, he finds himself struggling to get the words out.

He is non-binary bisexual, but really can't care much about the labels.

He will always finish what he starts and avoids making promises he can't keep.

Sam absolutely loves dogs and if he can, he will stop to pet one.

Sam's favorite colors are powder blue, brown, white, black and gray-green and his favorite season is autumn

He seeks control for himself. He needs to be able to feel in control of his life, thoughts and actions, since people are always depriving him of that, which then becomes an issue with the entire Ruby situation (she made him think he was in control).

Sam's playlist is very strange. He'll listen to Bon Jovi, Amanda Palmer, Celine Dion, but would probably enjoy some styles of classic romantic music or baroque on certain days.

He's the type that would listen to christmas songs in June. Especially Frank Sinatra.

He is sometimes able to sense ghosts in his presence - this has been something that he's felt since he was a kid but had nobody to tell (he feared Dean would be upset with him)

He would definitely shamelessly listen to Adele.

Jess taught Sam how to knit, or at least started teaching him.

Sam is actually a decent cook.

Sam's friend group at Stanford was Luis, Jess, Brady, Zach and Rebecca.

They sometimes went over to Zach's and Rebecca's just to play Mario Kart and watch movies all day after their exams.

Their group photos burned down along with Jess so Sam never had the chance to retrieve them.

Sam was actually really short until he turned 17-18. His growth spurt came out of nowhere.

Sam had to wear knee braces during most of his time at Stanford.

Autistic with some slight OCD

#queer sam winchester #sam winchester #supernatural #non binary sam winchester #non binary #bisexual #stanford era #sam winchester headcanon #some canon facts mostly headcanons tho

[fryandleelasbigfling]

i think leela deserves more appreciation than she gets.

i mean obviously there’s the people who just kind of degrade her into a pinup girl, we can all agree that’s lousy. but i think even a lot of good natured fans will write her off as the no-nonsense straight man to fry and bender, the “one with the braincell,” the one who has everything together and isn’t really willing to get silly like the boys. 

and yeah that can be true, especially in earlier seasons. but i think people underappreciate leela’s development and the fact she really is a messed-up, complicated, weird woman. 

for one thing, her kickass fighting abilities are well understood, but her kung-fu skill emerged as a way to work out her anger from being bullied, so she often resorts to violence as a defense mechanism even when it isn’t necessarily needed. in “hell is other robots” she gets freaked out by the mosh pit and beats up the other concertgoers, “bender’s game” is about how her anger can overtake her and even being punished for violence won’t faze her, and in “lethal inspection” she outright admits violent outbursts are how she copes with mortality. “anthology of interest 1″ shows that she will descend into a murderous rampage at the slightest provocation if she had just a bit worse impulse control. 

she’s also really stubborn! like, she will have a full-on mental breakdown if someone insists she can’t do something, because she has such an issue with being treated as unwanted and “worthless” that she needs to prove herself as highly capable of anything. "the sting," “mobius dick” and “bender’s game” are both great examples, as is the back half of “bender’s big score” -- note the sharp turn from “happy, calm, in love, willing to let other people handle the situation” to “insists on taking charge, kicking ass, and self-isolating” after lars leaves her at the altar. 

also as great as it is that she’s more organized than fry, this veers into some weird habits like freezing all her dinners a month in advance and having a very minimalist apartment for a while. this plays into how anxious she gets about taking risks. she is very pedantic about grammar and can get ridiculously overzealous about keeping her crew safe and healthy. however she gets bored and frustrated when she doesn’t have excitement in her life. 

she is very bad at organizing papers, preferring to just hide things away even when they become too big to ignore (symbolic!), completely failing when she steps in for hermes in “lethal inspection.” she also forgot to vote despite preaching about it all episode in “a head in the polls.” she is not as infallible as she wants people to believe! she just tries harder to justify it to herself than others, because she also has a severe guilt complex -- if she admits to herself that she did something wrong, she feels she needs to be punished.

she has a lonely, mundane home life. she can struggle with creativity and settle on an unexciting option (i.e. wanting to use superpowers for “humdrum activities” in “less than hero”), which is where fry’s tendency to blurt out any idea that comes to mind comes in handy. 

despite being fairly fashionable, she sometimes struggles with traditional femininity. not just bc of her attitude and mutations but also her feet and breath stink lmao. she also has a bit of a potty mouth and has said “fuck” (bleeped out) in at least three episodes. she's a terrible singer (despite katey herself being a great singer).

she is implied to have a “hedonistic” past and used to drive around in a mausoleum as a teenager. she went to her prom alone with a dress made of carpet remains. she dropped out and “bummed around india for a while” after college. 

she has a massive soft spot for animals, including “gross” ones like leeches, and despite all her violence, she usually backs down if it means a (perceived) innocent animal will be hurt. this can sometimes backfire on her (i.e. “into the wild green yonder”). she is very protective and empathetic towards living creatures, probably cuz she never had anybody looking out for her. she likes to read books about animals to relax. 

she regularly visits the orphanarium and is very concerned with being a good role model for those kids, emphasizing especially with sally. it is repeatedly implied in the (admittedly semi-canon) comics that she wants to be a mother. 

she plays with her hair when she’s nervous or flirty. she had an anxiety attack and physically froze up when she thought a mutant was stalking her. she had a bedwetting problem as a child and even her warden still holds it over her head. 

she has repressed mental illness related to her lack of family growing up  and has a desperate need for companionship, but sets high standards so she won’t get her heart broken first. whenever she’s single, she is very cynical about love and doesn’t do well seeing happy couples. 

she seems very obsessed with normality and stability which is why she often seeks men of high status to date, even if they turn out to be jerks. however, she outgrows this after meeting her family, as she becomes extremely attached to them despite their low status and embraces her mutant culture quickly. 

her mutations are not limited to her eye. she not only has a whole episode about her now-cured genetic mutant disease, but she occasionally lays an egg and has talons on her elbows. depending on the episode, she can be quite disabled by her single eye due to her lack of depth perception. there’s also the singing boil but that episode sucks lol

she also can get really horny lol. once she’s dating fry steadily, she tends to initiate things a lot more, even in public. i think it’s sometimes more of a fanservice thing but it’s always funny to see her so down bad, especially in the comedy central era

she likes bender because of his “in your face attitude” and often has a playful dynamic with him despite disapproving of his lack of morals. she doesn’t like amy a lot of the time but they can get along and comfort each other when the time is needed. i’m not even getting into her and fry because that’s its own post.

overall i just love leela a lot, she’s such a weird, complicated, fascinating character and i could go on about her All Day. 

#turanga leela #leela #futurama #sorry this became a leela wiki page i couldnt decide what to cut. its all important to me.

[soylent-crocodile]

Wolf Dragon (Monster)

(Pride by Nimphradora on FurAffinity)

(Although I didn't use it for art, this is another dragon inspired by Safari's line of dragons. The hook of a wolf dragon is very interesting, and I used it to create a rare social dragon, as well as to provide DMs with access to a culture like that of the Alpha-Beta-Omega hierarchy we once thought wolves had. Feel free to use other Alpha-Beta-Omega tropes, by the way. I also tied them with werewolves, because they are magic Wolves and I love monster ecology.)

CR8 LN Large Dragon (Earth)

Also known as lycanodrachs, or d’rrowg among themselves, wolf dragons are a rarity among dragonkind, as they live and hunt in social groups. These groups follow a strict hierarchy, one resembling that of wolves, but involving regular battles for dominance. These fights are typically ritualized, and it is considered taboo for one wolf dragon to kill another who has surrendered, but they are still loud, violent events. 

Wolf dragons are also highly territorial, and do not accept other large predators- or parties of humanoids- in their air space. Such intruders will, typically, be first approached by a flying wolf dragon who attempts to shout them down. Any who continue their flight afterwards will be attacked by the group with lethal intent. Despite this, those who obey the rules of a wolf dragon pack will find them courteous and wise hosts. Wolf dragon culture heavily values oral tradition, and they consider sharing their stories with guests to be an important aspect of hospitality. 

D’rrowg frequently cohabitate with stag dragons, although stag dragons typically choose not to integrate into wolf dragon packs, finding their violent power struggles and strict code of honor distasteful. Lycanthropes, most often werewolves, will sometimes enter a wolf dragon pack. Such beings are treated as a second class within the pack, but are still welcomed on the hunt and feasts. The real benefit, however, is maintaining their old personality when surrounded by wolf dragons. Wolf dragons hate green dragons, and will gladly sacrifice their life to take one down.

This large wolflike creature has a pair of backwards-facing horns and batlike wings complimenting its lupine features. Misc- CR8 LN Large Dragon (Earth) HD9 Init:+3 Senses: Perception:+21 Scent, Darkvision 60ft, Low-Light Vision Aura: Lycanthropy 60ft Stats- Str:24(+7) Dex:17(+3) Con:20(+5) Int:13(+1) Wis:25(+7) Cha:19(+4) BAB:+9/+3 Space:10ft Reach:5ft Defense- HP:104(9d12+45) AC:22(+3 Dex, -1 Size, +10 Natural) Fort:+11 Ref:+9 Will:+13 CMD:29 Resist: Immunity: Dragon Resistances, Cold Weakness: Special Defenses:  Offense- Bite +15(2d8+11 plus Trip) CMB:+17 (+2 bonus to Trip) Speed:50ft, Fly 60ft (Average) Special Attacks: Breath Weapon (9d6 Cold damage, 60ft Line, Reflex DC for half, useable once every 1d4 rounds) Feats- Combat Casting, Power Attack (-3/+6), Tandem Trip, Flyby Attack, Alertness Skills- Diplomacy +16, Fly +15, Knowledge (Geography) +5, Knowledge (Nature, Religion) +8, Perception +21, Sense Motive +21, Stealth +15, Survival +19 (+4 Racial bonus to Survival checks to track) Spell-like Abilities- (CL9, Concentration +11, +15 for defensive casting and when grappled) Calm Air, Cure Serious Wounds, Moonstruck (DC16) 1/day Special Qualities- Wolf Empathy +13, Tactician Ecology- Environment- Forests, Mountains (Cold) Languages- Draconic, Sylvan Organization- Hunting Party (2-4), Pack (6-8, 1d4 Dire Wolves, 0-1 Werewolf) Treasure- Half Special Abilities- Aura of Lycanthropy (Su)- A lycanthrope within a wolf dragon’s aura of lycanthropy retains its memories and personality when transformed. Additionally, a wolf dragon may issue a psychic command to any lycanthrope within the aura, as with the spell Command or Murderous Command. The lycanthrope gets a DC15 Will save to ignore the command. Tactician (Ex)- As a swift action, a wolf dragon may grant one teamwork feat its possesses to an ally with 30ft who can see or hear it. They benefit from this ability for 10 rounds, and can only be granted one teamwork feat this way from any wolf dragon at a time. Wolf Empathy (Ex)- This ability functions as a druid’s wild empathy, using a wolf dragon's racial HD, but only for wolves.

#monsters and races #soylent original #any setting #wolf #wolves #werewolf #homebrew #dragon #pathfinder #dungeons and dragons

[snootlestheangel]

pleasepleasepleaseplease tell us more about your shadow comapny ocs

Oh boy, this is mostly just gonna be me making this up as I go cause I literally only just made these boys.

We'll start with Ness cause he's definitely my favorite!

He's probably early 30s, and is the oldest of five. He's still in contact with them, technically, but he hardly ever visits anymore. His mother passed a couple of years ago, and there was a big fight that broke out between a bunch of family members. There were some secrets his mom had been hiding, and when she died it all got revealed and some members of his family didn't react well. In other words, her side of the family thought she was the perfect mom, but in reality, Ness had to pretty much raise his own siblings while his mom did nothing. She was never abusive, but definitely neglected her kids, and this has stuck with Ness. There were a couple of other things, but because Ness was already military at this point, he just stopped visiting family when he's on leave.

He's such a cryptid! Such a cryptid! This is all due to the fact he got the short end of the genetic lottery, and got dumped with a bunch of physical issues. He has vitiligo, which was a tough time when his dad's brother (uncle) took him to a like support group thing for kids with vitiligo. It was tough cause he was the only white kid there, and it was hard cause some of the parents of other kids didn't take him seriously. He's not pasty white, by any means! He's actually got a darker complexion thanks to his father's Greek ancestry, but still. His vitiligo is much more noticeable around his arms, hands, and stomach so he's always in long sleeves.

HE HAS HETEROCHROMIA!! This is important! Everyone loves Ness's one green-blue eye and almost golden brown eye!

He actually used to have really intensive speech therapy sessions because he has speech apraxia (Idk how to explain it but it's basically he struggles getting his mouth to move properly to form words), but when is youngest sibling was born, he stopped going. It was getting harder and harder for his dad to help with everything since his mom didn't do anything at this point. Because he had to stop speech therapy, he still struggles to form words properly, thus making him really self-conscious about speaking which is why he's so quiet. The military life has helped: he can perfectly say all the necessary words for use on the field, but outside of that, he struggles.

The Shadows like to lovingly tease him and say "It's just Nessie gurgling his words cause he's not used to speaking on land". It's surprisingly helpful for him to feel less weird about it, cause he's Ness! He's supposed to be a bit weird! The same applies to his heterochromia and his vitiligo: "Nessie's human form got confused!" or "Ness forgot what humans look like".

Ness joined the military because he figured those things didn't matter, that as long as he could do a job right, he'd be fine. Yes, his early years before Shadow Company were worse than his childhood, but he appreciates those years. They were hell on earth, but they gave him a backbone (something he didn't have before), and they gave him new skills and let him see the world. 'Sides, those years gave him the skills to get into Shadow Company, and he wouldn't have such great family friends if it hadn't been for his time before SC.

King of eye rolling and side eyes. Sticks his tongue out constantly during conversations/just in general. Sometimes forgets he's still wearing his goggles, so it adds to the cryptid-ness.

Lives with his boyfriend of almost 3 years and their one eyed calico named Patchy when he's not with the Shadows.

*He's so cryptid*

Flash time!

Only child. Loves his parents, but god he's such an only child. It's part of why he's pretty appreciative of the way a lot of the older Shadows take him under their wing. Especially Moose (@cod-dump 's Shadow OC) cause Moose is just so cool and so smart and he's so much fun to hang out with!

He was one of those ADHD kids that kept getting in trouble. Like it was a chronic issue for him growing up. So when the recruiting team for the army shows up to his highschool one day, he's asking a billion questions. The guy answering them is so patient with him, and gives him the answers he's looking for, doesn't mind when he's interrupted, etc. It's this interaction that has Flash considering a career in the military, and when he graduates he realizes his transcript was really poor and he won't get a dime from colleges, so he just joins the military. His parents stressed cause they saw it as a really last minute rash decision, but he saw it as the only option.

And it's a good thing he did. Are the methods used for correcting behavior good? Uh, no... No they are not. But are they exactly what Flash needed? Honestly yes. He needed the strict discipline (being an only child left him with too much freedom), and the army gave him so many different ways to expend his energy. It was perfect for him.

And so he got really good, really fast. And Graves said "I CALL DIBS!"

Has all sorts of weird physical tricks that he can do. Very flexible and likes to show off how fast he can run and for how long. He's got papers to turn into Graves's office but he's on the other side of the building? Running into Graves's office.

He loves hanging out with the Shadows outside of base, especially when some of them take him with them when they visit home on leave. He loves showing up every time he goes home with a couple of his closest Shadow buddies. His poor mother isn't used to having to feed so many people, especially ones with such large appetites.

But his favorite is when Graves invites him out to his ranch during the summer months. He's a city boy, a Northerner if you will, and he's completely unfamiliar with any sort of "country living". Cause "what do you mean I have all this space to just run? You want me to sling hay bales, sir??? ABSOLUTELY LET'S SEE HOW MANY I CAN DO IN THE NEXT HOUR!" *immediately distracted by the chickens* "Holy shit, Commander, you have chickens?!" *he's never seen a chicken in his life*

Flash is such a cutie pie, btw. Like perfect little average blonde American guy in his early 20s. Has so much energy that when he inevitably crashes somewhere, the other Shadows play a game of "Don't Wake The Baby"

Definitely having a sexuality crisis. Can't decide if he wants to devote his very existence to a woman or get tossed around by a big guy.

Truck time!

Truck isn't actually a gentle soul. He'll tell you your an asshole to your face, he'll yell at you for fucking up something in his shop, etc. He just grew up in a very poor neighborhood, being raised by his neighbors cause both parents worked long hours and he would stay with the other kids. It was an "every man for himself" type of life for him, especially as he got older and the kids got meaner.

It never helped that he struggled really bad in school, and his parents were too poor/too busy to look into testing him for different learning disabilities. It isn't until the military, actually, that he finds out he's dyslexic. He learned all the could about trucks and stuff through word-of-mouth/hands-on experience because of his father. Once Truck was old enough, his Pop was taking him to the mechanic shop he worked in and he taught him everything he knew.

Truck's dad passed away about a year after Truck joined the military, and it wasn't an easy loss for him. He devoted his time to learning everything he can about vehicles in honor of Pops.

He's a big boy, even if not very tall, and will rock your shit (in a bad way). He's sometimes deemed a "grumpy old man" but he's really just very closed off about personal matters and doesn't want "a bunch of idiots who don't know what they're doing" in his shop.

Actually thinks Flash is incredibly annoying, but he'll kill someone that isn't a Shadow if they said the same. He's one of the older Shadows, so he definitely took one look at this annoying ass kid that's several inches taller and said "This kid's gonna get himself killed, is no one going to do something about it?" and then didn't wait for an answer. But only for in the field. Flash is Moose's problem on base in Truck's opinion.

And finally Woody!!!

He's like younger to mid 30s. Has a wife and two kids (a five year old girl and three year old son). He's like a stereotypical frat boy except the specific type of frat boy that you trust with your life cause he'll make sure you get home safe and drink enough water.

He's cracking dad jokes left and right, he's just silly. It's definitely intentional. His first assignment was traumatizing and he knows everyone needs a reminder of the better things in life.

He was really close with a lot of the Shadows that were lost during the events of Las Almas, and that hits him hard. He can't help but feel so guilty cause he wasn't there, but if anyone heard it, especially Graves, they'd probably try to smack some sense into him. He was at home with his wife cause she had miscarried, and Graves is secretly so grateful Woody wasn't there. He had lost so many good Shadows that day, he can't imagine how miserable it would've been to lose Woody, too.

Woody definitely knows this, so he's letting his Dad Instincts take over sometimes. He's checking in on Graves and some of the other Shadows that were affected more closely by the events. Even if this sometimes means sitting in Graves's office for a drink and not saying a word, all because Graves sometimes just needs company.

Ever since earning his callsign, he's dressed as Woody from Toy Story for Halloween every year without fail.

So many Hawaiian shirts. So. Many.

Really good at matching someone else's energy and somehow bringing them up or down based on the situation. Like with Ness, he's bringing out his more social side, helping him relax in a social situation. With Flash, he's helping keep the ball of energy under wraps/grounding him.

Used his Dad Voice on Graves once and the two had a really long, awkward staring contest immediately after.

Avid user of the nickname "Kiddo" for literally any of the Shadows, even Moose, which is kind of an inside joke for the pair.

And those are my boys! They'll be playing the role of Graves's closest surviving Shadows in my work Unending Devotion soon, which will be during his hero arc

Please let me know if y'all make art/have any questions/potential ideas for these boys!

#shadow company ocs #shadow company #shadow oc flash #shadow oc ness #shadow oc truck #shadow oc woody #shadow oc moose #phillip graves #snootles's shadow ocs

[datamodel-of-disaster]

Ask game time! Thanks for the tag, @filmamir!

1. Are you named after anyone?

I keep saying if I do anything noteworthy enough in my life to deserve a wikipedia page, someone has to add me to List of things named after Bernhard Riemann - Wikipedia, so... yes.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday night, and also, longer ago than I remember. Are the tears mine if the sadness isn't? It be like that sometimes.

3. Do you have kids?

No, and thank the powers that be (mostly contraception) for that!

4. What sports do you play/have played?

No real sports, unless highschool PE counts. I was a fervent and pretty skilled skier for a while but my partner is afraid of skiing and its too expensive to go on my own, so it's been years since I did it.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Not as much as you'd think. I'm a painfully sincere person much of the time.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

I hate to be *that* person, but... their vibe. Fake car salesperson smiles, awkward "haha we will ignore that!" silences, confrontational high-schooler convo style... Some people just have fucky energy, idk what else to say. That said, my actual opinion of people takes a while to form -it's like a committee vote more or less.

7. What's your eye colour?

Blue-green

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings all the way. I can watch unhappy endings if the movie is aesthetic(TM) or it's more about the art or history of the film than the narrative, but if I'm immersing myself in a story-story, the person(s) the narrative makes me root for better fucking make it to a happy end.

I'm very selective about scary movies: they need to be aesthetic, and satisfying.

9. Any talents?

... not... really? I kinda struggle with linking my qualities to "talents". I don't have many (if any) things I'm just "naturally good" at; even skill sets I'm now proud of were not something I ever had a natural aptitude for, and if I developed a skill it was 99% of the time out of necessity rather than enjoyment.

I guess I have... shockingly broad bandwidth for other people's issues. Like... interpersonal exhaustion? I don't know her, man. Mostly due to a combination of voyeuristic enjoyment of knowing and understanding things about others, my sense of empathy being almost entirely generated through fine-grained psych analysis rather than instinct, and the *very* odd given that my own personality temporarily stabilizes when exposed to interpersonal input. I'm not sure that's a talent so much as a condition, though xD

10. Where were you born?

Belgium

11. What are your hobbies?

At the moment, mostly writing Tron fanfiction. I also draw (sometimes), paint and kitbash Warhammer 40k minis (been a while), do metalwork (I need a new welding helm T_T), do gothic and fetish modelling, thrift and collect things for my house, etcetera. I cycle through hobbies mostly. Writing is my most stable one -I dare say I keeps me sane.

12. Do you have any pets?

I have a cat! Her name is Meoi (Quenya for "Cat", in honour of Huan and terrible Feanorian naming traditions -retired Silmarillion fan here)

13. How tall are you?

1m70 but most people assume I'm a good bit taller because I'm broad-shouldered and always in 17cm platform stilettos.

14. Favourite subject in school?

Oof. Tough one. I've been out of school for a good long while. The person I was in high-school would have picked physics, followed closely by math. Leaving the following period in the middle (lalala), at uni *in the major I actually graduated from*, my favourites were Architectural Theory, Medieval Image Culture, and Visual Analysis.

15. Dream job?

Oof again. Opinions divided on this one.

I like to say my dream job needs to meet the following criteria:

- I am competent at the job and reasonably regularly get this confirmed by others

- Every day at work I know largely what is expected of me, and what is expected fully falls within my capacity to deliver.

- I have tangible, well-described tasks and goals and never have to "be proactive about finding more work" or "try to look more productive".

- I have good coworkers I get along with, at least professionally.

- No extraneous admin tasks or timesheet micromanagement.

- GOOD PAY

If I'm really ambitious, I would add to that:

- I'm an expert (or just really, really good) at it.

But let's be honest, actual dream jobs Riemann over here has dreamed of having or pursuing? Interior designer/stylist, professional fetish performer/pro-domme, and Enterprise IT Architect.

Yeah.

You see why I stick to bullet point lists.

Tagging... @bowiesinspace @inquisitor-gayfax @clevermird @et-novum and everyone else who feels like it!

#meet the disaster #tag game

[desn512sarahwhitehead]

Reflective Statement Writing Exercise

Reflection on my research skills 

What specific forms of research did you do? What really helped inspire/extend your poster designs? How could you improve your research? 

I knew I wanted to do something based around nature/outdoors/wildlife in New Zealand because that's a big part of my love for Aotearoa  

I found a few issues that I experimented with eg. pollution, unswimmable waterways, animals going extinct and also looked into the Greens Party and some projects they were doing that revolved around these issues.  

Because New Zealand for the most part is actually a very clean and environmentally friendly country, some statistics that I found didn’t seem accurate. They were either way too extreme and unrealistic, or quite minimal, and therefore I didn’t see a reason to make a poster speaking up about it.  

Reflection on my creative process 

What design processes did you employ? Eg. sketching, experimentation in InDesign, development of selected design ideas, print testing etc. Which processes helped push your ideas + shape your posters? How? What are the strengths and weaknesses within your design process? 

Should have done some print testing instead of leaving it to the day as colours and transparency didn’t come out very well and then I was in a rush to fix and finish  

Should have done some more experimentation, maybe more so sketching on paper to get my ideas down. Sometimes when I make designs straight in InDesign I get carried away, forget the purpose of the posters and end up making something that I am happy with, but doesn’t fit the guidelines. I think if I were to get my ideas down on paper first it would make it easier for me to see a vision in front of me and then make it digitally.  

Reflection on my decision making 

How did you make decisions to develop the project and its responsiveness to the brief? What did you find hard + which decisions were easy? What did you do when you were stuck? You may refer to your Rationale for ideas, but do not repeat the content 

Experimented with a range of themes but struggled to pick a final theme to base my posters off of 

Found it hard to make the typography do the talking in the poster  

In my final posters, I still wanted a little bit of imagery, so I added it to the typography, I thought this way it gave the poster a bit more detail but technically it was still the type doing the talking?? 

Reflection on the overall progression of my work and leaning 

What have you learned so far? What were some of the challenges and breakthroughs? What insights do they suggest for your work for the rest of the semester? Are there any skills or processes you need to revise or improve? 

Struggling using InDesign, I feel as though I could have created better work in Photoshop with the range of effects and more quickly. Not quite used to using it yet.  

Need to watch some more videos on how to do fun techniques, because since I don’t really know what's available, yet I tend to just stick to basic/plain techniques, effects, and fonts.  

I think doing some more poster research, particularly typography posters, to really get into my head that it's the type that needs to be the base concept of the posters. Doing more research and exploration of other artists may help me broaden my ideas. 

[vitaminseetarot]

Hello, I would like to participate in your game please. I would like to ask how would you describe my energy/personality? My two emojis of choice are 🥰😰. My initials are M.M and my zodiac sign is Leo ♌️.

Hello 🥰😰! Thanks for playing!

Your cards are Winter Shamrock (green) along with the 8 of Swords. Your current aura is delicately hopeful, nervous, and a bit confused. The main word I got was "despondent" which to be truthful I had to look that one up. Are you afraid that something may not come to fruition, or dealing with the aftermath of plans falling through? Have you been struggling to believe in your own luck, or that good things can happen to you? You may feel inclined to look up my most recent PAC reading as Winter Shamrock was one of the piles. The reading was about uncovering your luck coming in because I really believe you have that energy around you, even if it's not apparent. The first step is to discern the difference between issues of luck and issues of skill/human error. Take me, for example. I got a flat tire on St. Patty's day, of all days! But Luck got me safely in a parking lot, then safely home. The busted tire was, in fact, a driving skill issue. So luck can show up in a variety of ways, and your first step in finding it is to make a list every day of what you're grateful for, as corny as it may sound. Take time to reflect on what is currently going right in your life, everything down to having a warm bed, a warm shower, and a warm meal. Focus on problem solving instead of catastrophizing. Please do not let bad things that are happening sour your mood and make you feel unlucky. Sometimes bad things happen, but they don't define our entire life. I saw other clover synchroniticies while doing your reading, so Luck is most certainly hovering in your midst. Things will work out for you. Keep an optimistic mindset!

#tarot reading #free tarot #vitaminsee #free tarot readings #free readings #free tarot reading #aura readings #march palette game #vitaminseetarot #vitaminseetarotgame #tarot blog #tarot game

[leggerefiore]

kinda a random question but do you have any pokemon ocs? ive always loved hearing about peoples ocs (esp pokemon bcos i love it so much) and youre so skilled with drawing out the finer points in writing and plots, i figured if you did have any they'd be super cool/interesting!

mmm i suck at ocs for fandoms haha, i have lots of characters and sometimes i just paint them over with a pokemon colour.

some of my player characters are given funny backstories.

there's:

Alexandra (Alex, Lexi)

Female, She/Her

A posh, Galarian character who is like have equivalent of whatever pokemon Scottish is. She uses ghost types, and she's an extremely lonely sort. She's got some paternal issues do to him taking her from her mother when she was young and forcing her into an entirely different environment that her grandfather's country home. This lack of connection with her peer group and family led her feeling completely isolated and unwanted. She leaves a cuppa out while having a cry over her state. This is what led to her first pokemon, Sinistea.

Her love of the ghost type led to trying to collect more of them without incurring her father's silent rage. He doesn't really care for her training and thinks business and politics are important. So at one point she was just stashing a Lampent, Polteageist, Galarian Yamask, Doublade, Dartrix and Female Frillish in her room praying no one notice her ghost party just chilling. Naturally, they were discovered, and her father was furious at her, but quickly hushed up when Polteageist shoots tea into his mouth. He comes to the realisation that she's going to be a trainer if her team is already evolving and that protective.

She doubles as an elite four member (for a different region, still attempting to debate where she goes. Unova maybe? Like if Shauntel retires.) along with a fashion designer and seamstress. Her lonely nature leads to her being either overly polite and proper or aggressive and brash. Alexandra is also far-sighted and needs glasses! Her team isn't super mischievous due to their trainer's more stern nature, but if she's ever feeling more light-hearted, they'll prank to other elite four members. (They being Polteageist and Chandelure. Aegislash and Runerigus have no interest in pranks, while Jellicent and Decidueye are good-natured friends.)

She's also a lesbian! I have no idea how to fit that in, but she is! Her pokemon are attempting to find her a girlfriend, but she's down bad for another OC (who isn't interested, because I think I'm going to make them acearo? Going back and forth on that.). It's unfortunate, but she'll eventually move on to find someone who's interested in her. Hopefully, they'll overlook her apartment being covered in fabric and half finished clothing ideas while Polteageist floats around with a discarded sheet over it. They agreed to date the ghost type trainer.

Physically, she's extremely fair-skinned and her face is covered in freckles. Her hair has no texture and is as straight as a ruler with a strawberry-blonde colour. Her eyes are an emerald green. She's extremely skinny and frail looking because she was a bit malnourished as a child and struggled with an eating disorder in her teen years. She's doing much better now, however. Usually, her outfits are more fashionable and modern or formal. Her character colour is green! Despite the ghosts!

Chiori

Non-Binary, They/Them

They're a wanderer of sorts who never settles down anywhere. There are rumours that they're from Sinnoh, but no one is sure just where in Sinnoh. They only really have one Sinnohian (?) pokemon and that's Luxray. Their team is a bit all over the place with Feraligatr, Garbodor, Luxray, Malamar, Froslass, and Breloom. Not only that, but they seem like they just feel out of the sky one day. In fact, they go around telling people that. No one believes them. They are often harassed as they're a famous trainer for being strong. It's a rumour they're the champion of a far off region.

In actuality, they were created by Arceus to fix the bullshit organized teams keep doing. Team Aqua wants to flood the earth? Chiori, you're going to Hoenn. Team Galactic trying to create a new world? Chiori return to Sinnoh. Galarian Monopoly Man trying to summon an alien to make infinite energy? Chiori go experience the wonder that is Galar's bullshit. They would appreciate if the team would stop. They're getting closer to snapping every time it happens. The next person who attempts to send the world into disorder will be meeting their hands rather than their team. That's why they're wandering so much. They would very much like a break; they are going back to Alola when they finally get it.

Well, they said that, then Arceus dropped them off in Hisui. There is no break; there is no freedom. Volo is getting punched by an angry mask-wearing person who just wants their tropical vacation. Horribly confused by the present of the Subway man from Unova. They are also mildly concerned about whatever his twin is doing in his absence. Ingo heard them screaming about Volo's bullshit all the way at the base of Mt. Coronet. He nodded at their sheer volume. They impressed even him and caused a minor avalanche.

Their pokemon are like their weird family. Feraligatr was met as a Totodile when they nearly drowned and pulled them out of the water. He since has refused to leave their side. Their Luxray shocked a would be harasser when they were first dropped onto the earth. They actually saved the Trubbish who became Garbodor because they found them weirdly cute. This has led to Garbodor attempting to hug them constantly; they politely decline the affection.

They actually caught Malamar of their own volition. Something about the little squid called to them. Snorunt waddled after them as the nearly froze in Shoal cave, searching for a Shell Bell. She has nearly frozen multiple trainers, not leaving Chiori alone. Shroomish was entranced with their swagger as they travelled through Petalburg Wood without having slept more than three hours in three days. Chiori wonders if their pokemon actually like them or if Arceus intervened. (They like them of their volition. Chiori is just being bashful.)

Their features are hard to see as they usually stick to wearing masks to obscure them. They have white hair cut into a fringed bob with bright dandelion eyes. Typically, they were baggy clothing in an attempt to hide their physical features. They desperately want to be left alone, but they are constantly bothered. This world tortures them, and they would like either be allowed to relax or to return to Arceus. Dumbly, they wear the same jacket everywhere, which is how they often get recognised.

I think I'm making them acearo, and this is who Alexandra is interested in. They are a bit more feminine in physical appearance, but their voice is extremely androgynous alongside side their features.

#interna fi #i have more but they arent really developed as these two #we got nick the electric eltire four member who forces challengers to listen to him play mutliple guitar solos before battling #jay who wears a raincoat constantly but uses fairy types #raymond who is a competitive fashion designer to alexandra who likes poison types cause hes toxic #lee a cop who isnt a cop anymore and uses fighting types but also dark types cause he likes being a contrarian and thinks its funny #and my beloved layla who is maxie's kid but uses water types to bully him

[handy-dandy-monster-candy]

Jayson, part One

Rating: SFW Length: 1690 Pairing: Male Croc Lizardman x Male Reader (both cis)

xxx

It’s Latin night at the local community centre, and you’re not sure if the earth is shaking or if it’s just your nerves. It’s your turn to dance with Jayson tonight, the handsome crocodilian lizardman who’s been the centre of attention since your dance classes began. He’s experienced at all sorts of dances, more agile than you’d expect for someone almost eight feet tall, and he’s been sweeping the little old ladies right off their feet—sometimes literally.

You’d initially joined the yoga classes held at the centre, but the time slots didn’t line up with the dance classes, so you never saw head or tail of the lizardman before the night poor old Mr. Grims slipped a disc doing an advanced pose at the end of the session. You decided to stick around with him until the ambulance came, keeping him company until he was loaded up and carted away from the centre towards the hospital a few blocks away.

That’s when Jayson approached you, coffee held in a delicate pincer grip in one hand and speakers held in the other, to ask you what had happened. He had deep green scales and brilliant golden-green eyes, with a body that looked like he could bench you in his sleep. He had a ready smile when he introduced himself to you, and the sympathy in his voice when he learned of Mr. Grim’s accident sounded sincere.

It was no surprise that you gravitated to the event hall after yoga let out that night, and what you saw made you wonder why you’d never considered dancing before. People of all ages and species crowded into the event hall, swing dancing at all skill levels and laughing throughout. It looked fun, and of course Jayson was at the centre of it all, bopping and weaving through the dancers and calling out encouragement and playful critiques. He was one of the instructors, you realised, and on impulse, you signed up for the next week’s class.

Flexibility, you quickly learned after Mrs. MacDougall bent you backwards over her knee, was invaluable in Jayson’s dance class. You thanked your lucky stars that you had decided to take yoga first, or you think you would have ended up in Mr. Grim’s place. Each week, you dance to a different genre, though Jayson always finds a way to put a spin on it. Last week you learned the choreography that Jayson and his fellow instructor Lindsa put together to Doja Cat’s Boss Bitch, which starred some impressive ballet on Lindsa’s behalf. They each pick a different dancer to give special instruction to each week, and this time, it’s your turn to be what feels like the sole focus of the big reptilian man you’ve developed a weak-kneed crush on. When the trumpets start blaring in Ilegales’ song Como Un Trueno, you almost jump out of your skin, and judging by the way Jayson laughs, he’d noticed.

“Alright, from the top!” Jayson calls, his gravelly voice warm and rough with amusement. “Loosen up, Ilario. Greta, sweetheart, go easy on him.”

“He’d better keep up!” Mrs. MacDougall says instead, earning herself a rare laugh from Lindsa on the other side of the room. You watch with sympathy as she drags the aforementioned man out onto the dance floor, looking more like a prisoner gamely meeting his end at the gallows than a willing dance partner.

“Ready?” Jayson asks you, and you wonder how you ever took your eyes off the charismatic reptile.

“As I’ll ever be,” you say, smiling cheerfully up at Jayson and taking his proffered hand.

“You’re shaking like a leaf,” Jason laughs, his feet starting to move along with the serpentine motions of his hips.

“I can’t help it,” you reply around a laugh of your own, following his lead and allowing him to dance you around the room. “I’m nervous.”

“Nervous?” Jayson eyes you incredulously. “You?”

“Yes, me! Everyone’s looking at us.”

“I’m an instructor,” Jayson preens, his pride in his position making you smile again. “They have to look at me.”

“Well, yeah,” you say, concentrating very hard on not stepping on the larger man’s feet. “You’re hard to look away from.”

Jayson grins at this slip. “Am I?”

You curse your distracted tongue, but you don’t regret having this conversation. Yet. “Oh, definitely,” you shoot back, and the smug gleam in Jayson’s eyes makes you want to swat him and kiss him all at once. “You’re so big, how could I miss you?”

“Larger than life, baby,” Jayson replies, picking up the pace and twirling you like a top around him. You’re a little dizzy by the time he urges you into another set of moves, pliable with disorientation and the thrill of letting such a big man take control of your body and manhandle you however he likes. “Just let it happen,” he says in your ear, and he clears a space in the hall for you two to take centre stage.

His hands on your waist are the only warning you get before you’re airborne, your body weaving over his shoulders and between his legs in a way that makes your head spin. You somehow manage to make your feet keep moving when they find their way to the floor again, though it isn’t long before you’re twirled and spun and tossed this way and that. The feel of his muscles through his clothing is a sensation that you’ll not soon forget, and his hands feel like brands wherever they touch, hot and huge and capable. You’ve never trusted someone this implicitly with your safety, and the thrill is enough to leave you breathless.

The song ends in a sharp crescendo of brass and with your body dipped between Jayson’s muscular thighs. Your heart is pounding so hard that you barely hear the applause from the other dancers, your chest heaving and your eyes locked on Jayson’s handsome face. “You okay down there?” he asks, and you want to swat him all over again.

“Thinking I should have worn anything but sweatpants,” you quip back, drawing his eyes down to your erection between you. He straightens and manages to discreetly shield you with his bulk as you rearrange yourself. Jayson seamlessly draws attention to himself and critiques dancers nearby, moving to adjust positions and laughingly reminding others to be more careful of their partners’ feet.

You move away to hide, hydrate, and watch Jayson work the room, so you miss the way that Lindsa weaves toward you until she’s leaning against the wall beside you, asking, “You and Jay-Sun, huh?”

You nearly jump out of your skin. As it is, the water in your mouth goes the completely wrong direction, and you have to accept her help pounding it out of your lungs. “Me and what?” you choke out, eyes watering.

“Oh, don’t jerk me around,” Lindsa says with a sharp smirk, tawny eyes gleaming. She’s unnaturally beautiful even for a harpy, with sandy yellow feathers that match her hair and wide, egg-bearing hips. She’s canny and clever, and though she’s a good and patient teacher, there’s a ruthlessness about her that makes you feel as though you’d be hunted before you’d be courted.

You frown. “I guess,” you say with a shrug. “I like him. What of it?”

“He’ll want to date you,” Lindsa replies without ceremony, idly preening her wing feathers and watching you with unblinking eyes. “I happen to like the guy. Hurt him, and I’ll read your entrails for filth.”

This exchange leaves you entirely flabbergasted—so much so that you spend the rest of class distracted by your thoughts. Jayson notices, and his personality turns up to 11. You find it hard not to smile at his antics and his peacocking amuses you, though you catch Lindsa eyeing you both more often than not for the rest of the session. At the end of the class, Jayson makes a beeline for you and you struggle not to flee under his almost predatory gaze, standing your ground and smiling up at him.

“What’s going on?” he asks without preamble, resting a hand on the wall high above your head. “You’ve been out of your head since we first danced. Did Lindsa get hold of you?”

Your smile falls, and you feel more than a little exposed. Were you that easy to read? “Am I that obvious?” you ask, laughing nervously.

“Hardly,” says Jayson, grinning widely and displaying all his sharp teeth. “More like she’s about as subtle as a brick to the head. She threaten you?”

You nod, speechless.

Jayson snorts and shouts, “Lindsa!” over his shoulder, earning himself a cool look from the intimidating harpy. “Stay out of my love life!”

“I will when you make good decisions,” Lindsa drawls back, and you frown. Are you not a good choice?

Jayson shakes his head, dismissing her and turning his attention back to you. “Don’t listen to the old bird.”

“I’ll turn you into a handbag, Sunny,” Lindsa says without lifting her eyes from the gym bag she’s packing. “And a new pair of boots.”

“As if any part of me could handle those thighs,” Jayson scoffs, waving his hand and smiling down at you. “Like I said, don’t listen to her. She’s just protective of me because I’m younger. Are you free this weekend?”

“Um, yeah,” you say, caught off guard by the banter between the pair and looking between them with something like wariness. Was this going to be an issue?

Jayson notices your unease and leans in close enough that you can look into his eyes and smell his cologne, lowering his voice so only you can hear. “Hey,” he murmurs. “It’s really not a big deal. She does this to everyone I wanna date. Just ignore it and focus on me. Can you do that for me?”

The way he seems to have eyes only for you brings you out of the mire of your thoughts, and you find yourself smiling up at Jayson all over again. “Yeah,” you say. “I can.”

Jayson grins, and you’re surprised to find that lizardmen can have dimples. “Perfect.”

#exophilia #mlm exophilia #gay exophilia #monster romance #monster boyfriend #lizardman boyfriend #lizardman #Jayson #My work

[liesonthefloordramatically]

Hello! I saw your fic, "put a blue ribbon on my brain" and I was wondering if Kakyoin survived part 3 would he and Jotaro be able to work out thier issues and be happy with each other? Or would they grow apart? I would like to know your opinion because in canon despite appearing to have a good relationship with each other there is always this sense of distance that Kakyoin gives off and I'm wondering how much of it comes from him isolating himself from others.

Hello! This is honestly a hard question for me to answer since I am still, as my friends put it, "canon compliance or die,"* but let me give it my best shot.

I think that how exactly things would shake out depends in part on how much canon diverges--does Kakyoin still get a hole punched in his stomach or does he avoid that whole mess altogether? But, short answer, yeah, I think that they would be able to work out their issues and be happy together.

Granted, that's because:

I know that I tend to write them struggling with communication/understanding each other a lot, but I don't think those are indicative of fundamental, irreconcilable issues in their relationship? Mostly, they have not known each other super long, and a lot of relationships (romantic or otherwise!) have some fumbling at the beginning as you get to know each other. Also, they're both neurodivergent teenagers with very little relationship experience. They're gonna mess up sometimes.

By the same token (and I hope that this is obvious in my fics), I do think that they ARE making progress in understanding each other and figuring out how best to communicate. They mess up but then they learn from their mistakes.

Kakyoin definitely gives off a sense of distance, but I think that by the end of canon, he is much closer to the party--think of his whole internal monologue when he's up against DIO! Yes, it will take some time (and effort) for him to find new patterns that DON'T involve isolating himself, but I think he can do that.  Learning to be vulnerable is a skill!

(There’s an inchoate point here about how Kakyoin’s use of his Stand against DIO is very much stepping outside of his comfort zone, especially given that we know Hierophant Green is comparatively fragile and better at stealth than offense.  The fact that he’s willing to use his Stand in that way says a lot about his trust in the rest of the Crusaders.  I will roll this thought around in my brain until it’s polished enough to yeet into a fic at some point.)

Someday I will write that Kakyoin character study I keep threatening everyone with, but I do think that a lot of the way that Kakyoin holds himself at a distance is A. just habit at this point (once you get used to isolating yourself, it's really hard to stop) and B. him not really knowing how to get closer to people (because he doesn't have practice) and C. his own hang-ups around vulnerability and making himself intelligible (which are partially related to the first two points). Again, I think that this can change with time and effort (both from him and from the rest of the Crusaders, who, let's be real, are mostly much better at reaching out than he is).

Traumabonding is a thing, for better or worse. Sometimes you wanna hang out with another person who Gets It.

Would they make it long-term? I dunno! My canon compliant brain sort of sputters out at a certain point. If you're gonna go canon divergent, a million bazillion things could happen after that point that tip them one way or the other. Ultimately, with canon divergence it's kind of like...well, what do you WANT to happen here (that makes sense within the constraints you've established)?

I dunno if that’s a satisfying answer, but it’s what I’ve got!

*I was going to say that this is because deep down in my heart of hearts I am a historian and am, like many other historians, not really interested in counterfactuals except as fodder for fiction, but THEN I was like, "Queenie...it's all fiction..." so like. What does THAT tell you about how my brain operates?

#ask Queenie #Queenie actually says something on this blog #every time I threaten to write the Kakyoin character study it becomes more powerful :( #(I do feel like I'm inching toward it...put a blue ribbon on my brain is at least 1/3 Kakyoin character study lksjflksaufoisau) #(arguably all my Jotakak fic is at least partially Kakyoin character study because that's how I roll) #parallelism palooza: the journey

[cptsdstudyblr]

how i gradually fixed my relationship with food

TW: disordered eating, food, neglect, child abuse

Background:

I've always said that "I don't have an eating disorder, but I struggle with disordered eating." I don't know if that's medically accurate, but it feels like a good descriptor for my relationship with food. I grew up in an environment where I only ever had access to fast food, and I often went without food or didn't get nearly enough. I grew up in an environment where both of my parents exhibited severely disordered eating habits (and still do). I graduated from high school with no understanding of healthy eating habits or essentially no cooking skills. Now, I'm 21, and while my relationship with food is far from perfect, I am no longer underweight, I almost never restrict my food intake or binge, and I have a fairly balanced and tasty diet (while also allowing myself to enjoy eating what I want, even if it is junk food).

Step 1: Realize that your relationship with food is bad.

It took me a long time to acknowledge that the way I interacted with food as a child severely impacted my relationship with food. I had always assumed that once I was away from home, my eating habits would fix themselves. It took a lot for me to admit that I needed to really evaluate my relationship with food and put effort into fixing it.

It's hard to get to that point. For some people, they have a moment that makes it really clear for them. But for others, it's a gradual process. For me, it took literally moving to another continent and totally changing my diet to really get me fully to that point. Before that, I did acknowledge that my relationship with food had some issues, but I really didn't understand the extent of it.

Step 2: Figure out what needs to be fixed.

So now, you're aware that there is a problem with your relationship with food. But what do you actually need to fix about it? Are you eating too little? Too much? Too irregularly? An unbalanced diet? What's the problem (or problems) you're trying to solve?

This is a super personal thing to figure out. Personally, I regularly missed meals (often unintentionally), binged when I first bought food, and lived off of really repetitive foods that I really did not enjoy eating. I decided to approach my issues from what I saw as most severe to least severe: first, I needed to eat 3 full meals every day; then, I needed to stop binging; and lastly, I needed to implement a more balanced died.

Step 3: Eat every meal.

To help myself stop skipping meals, I first evaluated what caused me to skip meals. A lot of the time, it was the fact that food was not immediately or readily available to me. As a child, since I was fed almost exclusively fast food (and often just didn't eat), I struggled to actually prepare a meal and often didn't find the effort worthwhile. I especially struggled with this when I lived in a dorm and would literally have to walk 10+ minutes and wait in an unnecessarily long line for every meal.

To fix this, I made sure I always had very simple, readily available food in my house. Things like instant mac and cheese, instant ramen, premade tuna salad, sandwich makings, pasta, cereal, etc. I was so resistant to this approach at first as it felt unhealthy to me, but I had to remind myself consistently that no matter the circumstances it is more important to eat enough food than to eat the healthiest food out there. I was significantly underweight, and it was starting to really affect my life (especially by exacerbating my chronic illness symptoms), so I desperately needed to resolve this issue regardless of the perceived health of my meals.

To be honest, this process was the most difficult part of recovery for me. When combining my poor eating habits with my collapsing mental and physical health at the time, even microwaving mac and cheese was often too much for me to handle. And that's okay. Struggling is okay. It took me over a year just to get to the point where I could say that I consistently ate 3 full meals a day.

Step 4: Allow yourself to eat what you want when you want.

This is the approach I took to address my binging habits. It may sound counterintuitive, but it worked really well for me. Essentially, by explicitly not restricting my access to any foods (yes, even really unhealthy ones), I slowly broke down the fear that was causing me to binge on food.

For me, this fear stemmed from a lack of access to food as a child. When I first bought food, especially snacks, I felt the need to eat as much as I could on that day. And I made myself feel so bad about that. I told myself that I was a horrible person for eating so many Oreos I would make myself sick. And that's just not true. My eating habits don't reflect anything about me as a person.

Once I gave myself permission to eat as much as I wanted without feeling any shame, I started to binge less and less over the next few months. I started to get past the barriers and fear that I had about those foods and learn to eat them in moderation when I want them. I am an adult, I buy my own groceries, and I can make sure that I always have access to any food I want. So now, I rarely feel the need to binge because I am no longer as afraid and I no longer feel ashamed.

Step 5: Learn to cook and have a more balanced diet.

Once I got to a point where the amounts I ate in a day were more appropriate and keep me healthy, I was able to focus on what types of foods I eat. Now, I am by no means a health nut, but I do try to eat a relatively balanced diet and make foods I enjoy.

The first step I took towards this was to move away from instant or prepackaged foods. To this day, I always keep a stock of instant foods like ramen because I do still struggle sometimes, especially on bad mental or physical health days. I'm also sometimes busy and need something quick. However, I tried to move away from prepackaged foods to cooking relatively easy foods. I started making simple things like egg/tuna/chicken salad sandwiches, rice dishes, pastas and raviolis, premade dumplings, various types of eggs, sausage, etc.

While I ultimately wanted to move from instant foods to cooking my own meals, I felt the need to take it slow. I didn't feel ready to jump to cooking things from scratch, so I made sure to step up my difficulty levels slowly. Recently, I've started cooking about half of my meals from scratch, but I definitely didn't jump straight to that. And still, I usually make several servings at once and eat leftovers. I also still generally make simpler meals for most of my lunches and eat homemade foods for dinner most nights and for me, that is totally satisfactory. I'm able to make meals that fit my diet and tastes.

I also found that evaluating what foods I wanted to eat really helped me approach this. On the rare occasions when my parents did cook food, they usually cooked what amounted to a slab of poorly seasoned meat and a spoonful of cooked vegetables. It took me a long time (and moving to another continent) to fully realize that cooking for myself didn't mean just eating a chicken breast and green beans three times a week. After living in Seoul (which has a huge variety of restaurants from all over the world, not just Korean food) for six months and asking my roommates and friends to teach me their favorite recipes, I really started to understand what types of foods I like to eat. Now, I cook primarily Cajun foods and various Asian and Middle Eastern foods because that's the type of food I generally prefer to eat and cook. I'd really encourage everyone who is frustrated by cooking or eating to explore different cuisines and figure out what you like the best. Cooking and eating are both much more rewarding when you enjoy the food.

#tw ed #ed #ed recovery #mental health #mental illness #cptsd #ptsd #anxiety #depression #adhd #trauma #abuse #neglect

[rose7420]

Use Your Words

A request from @lokiismyhubby

Summary: Loki feels down and Y/N decides she wants to help him out

Warnings: Selectively Mute reader

Y/N sat with Peter Parker, listening to him as he rambled on about his homework and complained about how much he had to do of it, instead of just doing it. Even though Peter could be kind of annoying sometimes Y/N loved to be near him. He was the only human so far that had proved to be worthy of her trust. He was a gentle giant and showed her tenderness and care when he provided her company. He even went out of his way to gather her food and certain supplies to help her out, erasing the risk of her being caught by another human.

Y/N knew Peter didn’t have to do all of these things but he still chose to and that made y/n feel good because she knew someone out there cared for her wellbeing. Out of impulse, she stepped up to Peter’s wrist that held a pencil and hugged it.

“Woah there… You good pipsqueak?” Peter said, raising an eyebrow in curiousness. Y/N nodded her head wordlessly. She didn’t like to speak much.

She had lost her parents at a young age and her kind called borrowers lived in small, distanced packs, making it hard to find people to share a life with. After she had lost everyone close to her there had been no reason to speak and communicate with others. Peter was the first person she had talked to in five years. When she first spoke to him her voice had been rough and she didn’t want to admit she had lost the confidence to actually speak. All of her memory of language had practically withered away in her head, making it hard to remember how to pronounce some words. Peter had only questioned once why she didn’t speak to him. He was worried she was frightened of him but she assured him that wasn’t the problem with an exaggeration of her hands and a written note. Peter hadn’t questioned her after that and only spoke to her with no expectations of her responding.

She released his wrist and smiled brightly up towards him.

“I’m glad you’re feeling good today. But I think something has made Loki feel bad these last weeks. Would you know why?” Peter asks, resting his head upon his hand to see her better. Y/n shakes her head.

“Well if you have any free time, you mind using those amazing spy skills for me? I’m worried about him, he won’t talk to me?” He patted her head with a finger.

Y/n nodded, anxious to see Loki for the first time. She had never come across the god since her arrival at the tower.

Y/n sat on a shelf in Loki’s room watching his daily life. He led a rather peaceful but boring routine. Reading late at night and early in the morning, practicing his impressive magical abilities, and occasionally eating a meal. Y/n was about to stand and leave, ready to tell Peter that he was probably sad because he did nothing during the day when the door opened. In Thor walked, one of the biggest people she’d ever seen, and that was saying something.

“Brother, why don’t you just leave this room? There are plenty of things to do.” Thor said to Loki.

“Leave so I can hear you all blabber on of how wretched of a person I am? My life may be spent in solitude but perhaps I like it like that.” Loki retorted snarkily.

“If you stay in here, your chances of being liked will increase no more. “Thor said stepping towards Loki.

“So you admit it? The mortals of this tower do not want me here.” Loki said, anger lashing his voice.

“I don’t blame them, brother. You’re wasting away in this existence you call a life. Mother would be disappointed.” Thor said, his voice going soft to lessen the blow at the end.

Despite Thor’s gentility, Loki still became furious.

“Get out,” Loki said with a scary calm. Thor respected his wishes and walked out. But Y/n stayed, thinking she had just found the reason for Loki’s sadness.

As the days went by Y/n hid well and listened to the others’ Avengers conversations. Most of them as she’d thought spoke terribly of Loki. Remorse became heavy in her heart and she vowed to make Loki feel better. Since Peter had been there for her she figured it was time for her to be there for someone else.

She crept onto Peter’s desk and broke the lead off the pencil quietly. She checked to make sure he was still asleep and began writing.

Dear Mr. Loki,

I am sorry you feel so bad. I know people can be mean but I think your feelings are valid. If it was me I wouldn’t want to hear about what people think of me either. But I think you are very kind and generous. I hope this helps.

-Your friend

Y/n set out the next night to give the letter to Loki. Her handwritten letter was strapped to her back, easily accessible to her reach. The floor was mute under her imperceptible footsteps. She climbed the towering, unstable wall of Loki’s silk, black bedsheets which was a hard task as the sheets slipped from her grip a couple of times sending her heart to beat out of her chest. Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, she reached the top. Her breaths were heavy and she struggled to keep them quiet. Approaching Loki’s open, pale outstretched palm she retrieved the letter from behind her back. The paper was bigger than her upper half when folded together and heavy enough that she couldn’t place it upon his palm using only her arms to boost it to the surface. Which meant that she would have to climb into his hand.

Oh, how she wanted to turn around, climb down the bed and run to her safe, warm home inside the wall.

But she refused to give up when she had come so far.

And he needed someone to be there for him.

She delicately climbed into his palm, with the letter strapped to her back carefully placing her feet in non-ticklish places. One twitch of his hand would send her flying onto the covers, or worse off the bed itself. She shivered at the thought. Finding a good place to leave the letter she bends down.

Then a powerful, immense weight falls upon her sending darkness to coat her vision. She falls to her butt as vertigo hits.

“What are you doing?” A booming voice demands.

She trembles in fear, covering her head with her arms. I knew I should’ve just gone away. What will he do?

“I asked you a question?” The voice is angry. A light is turned on allowing her sight of her captor.

She dares to look up and is met with the rage of Loki Laufeyson. She shakes her head in reluctance to answer.

“What is this?” He roughly nudges her away from the note she holds in her arms causing her to fall onto her back with a squeak of fear. She holds onto the slip of paper for security but his strength overpowers hers greatly. His eyes squint in concentration as he reads the small handwriting.

“Did you write this?” He asks returning his focus upon her trembling form.

She nods hesitantly.

“Truly?”

Another nod.

“You don’t speak much do you Little Miss, do you?” He asks with a hint of a smile, his tone is much softer.

She shakes her head. Y/n clutches her arms across her chest, scooting back further from his face.

“Did I frighten you?” Loki suggests his eyes gentle voice guilty.

She nods, her eyes wide studying him for any ill intent.

“I apologize. I have a few trust issues. “

She says nothing and only stares at him with distrust.

“How did you know what the others were saying about me?” Loki asks raising her to meet his eyes. Even through her apprehension, she notices how beautiful they are. How his irises cannot seem to decide on a cool blue or a rainforest green.

She doesn’t try to answer his question, from the fear of speaking and the trepidation of angering him with her words.

“Okay, well I will wait until you’re ready to tell me. For now, I’ll let you go.” He stands up from his bed and releases her onto the hardwood floor. He stays crouched even as she slips off his long fingers. Taking a few cautious steps away from his looming form she is frankly surprised he is letting her go. She supposes that is a good sign. Maybe she will come back to him despite her previous scare.

“Don’t be a stranger.” His voice calls out almost wistfully.

Next week…

Y/n finds herself in a vent located in Loki’s room. This past week she’d felt guilty for leaving Loki in such a dreadful, sad state. So her final decision was to come back. She watched as Loki sat reading in an armchair on the other side of the room. He looked regal and imposing from far away, with his head bent down in concentration, long legs spread outward and she could only imagine how intimidating he must look up close. Her legs shook as she dropped to the floor below with no sound to alert Loki of her presence. Scurrying to his chair she stopped by his black boot. Even this simple apparel dwarfed her, able to serve as her sufficient sleeping quarters.

If you want to turn back now’s the time. She said to herself.

The enormous, unaware boot shifted closer to her and she let out a squeak, scampering back.

“It’s you again Little Miss.”

She craned her head all the way up and saw Loki staring down at her. His black hair hung down around his face. His hand reached for her and pinched her waist carefully, lifting her up to bring in front of his eyes. The pressure on her waist was gentle but still made her fearful.

She kicked her legs in search of a non-reachable floor. Loki noticed her apprehension and set her down in his other palm.

“Is that better?” He ducked his head down to meet her eye.

She nodded.

“Still not talking are we?” He asked.

She shook her head.

“Well, I suppose that’ll be fine. Would you care for me to read to you?” He asked kindly.

His offer was so kind and thoughtful. One that didn’t seem right for a simple nod in answer.

“Y-yes p-please.” She stumbled.

Loki grinned and set her upon his shoulder. She wasn’t sure what to do so high up and close to his person. Thankfully Loki caught onto this with his quick perception.

“Sit right here Little One.” He tapped right beside his neck and held still as she walked to the pointed area. Sitting down, she dared to lean a bit of her weight against his neck. She was instantly met with warmth and the gentle pounding of his pulse. When he started reading his smooth voice vibrated her minutely.

After a while, Y/n started becoming sleepy from the comfortableness of her position. Loki stopped reading.

“You know Little Miss, I think you have a lovely voice… perhaps you should use it more often.”

Y/n pondered these words in her sleepy mind.

Maybe she would heed his advice, but for now, she would sleep.

#loki #giant loki #tiny reader #borrower #selectively mute

[inessencedevided]

A very overdue cql/mdzs fic rec list

for @accidental-child ​

I am so sorry this took me so long Axel! The pandemic has really done a number on my time-management skills and things like this often fall behind :/

The fics complied here are the ones i have not recced in the list for @helianthus21 before. You can find that one here, so you can check it out as well :)

The Wei Wuxian makes a wish series by natcat5

My attempt at a summary: this is a madoka magica AU (which i had not watched prior to reading this fic). Cultivators, in this universe, are created when a teenager makes a wish to the creature named Kyubey, which than grants them their wish and the power to fight witches, strange and destructive creatures of despair that lure people into their labyrinths. Wei Wuxian, at the beginning of the story is not a cultivator, but his friends are and so is the mysterious new student at his school, lan wangji, who follows him everywhere and seems to be obsessed with preventing him from making a contract.

My comment: my attempt at a summary does not do this story justice and is really just a setup. Honestly i cannot put into words how much I loved this story. It kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time. It made me laugh, it made me cry for entire chapters, it drew me into it's world so much that I freaking dreamed about it! (I'm not kidding, I really did) Honestly, this fic deserves so much more attention than it is currently getting. Not only is the plot expertly crafted, with reveals that shock you and leave you reading, but the author also just gets the characters. The best thing an AU can do, in my opinion, is take familiar characters, put them in unfamiliar situations and then manage to make the way they react believable. And this AU nails that! The conclusion and the choices that Wei wuxian and lan Wangji make in the end felt exactly right. Not to mention, it has a stellar ensemble cast! Everyone is here (except Xichen sadly and I kind of think it is deliberate because without him, Lan Wangji lacks a support system). Again, I cannot recommend this story enough. It is, without doubt, my favourite fic series in this entire fandom. (Caution however: Do read the warnings in the tags and notes and take them seriously. They are there for a very good reason.)

Agapé (home is in your arms) by estel_willow

Author’s summary: Lan Xichen is in isolation. Wei Wuxian visits him. Together they find their way back to happiness, to clarity and to home. 

My comment: This one focuses on both Lan Xichen’s and Wei Wuxian’s issues and lets them resolve them together. I am such a fan of their characterisations in this fic, as well as Lan Wangji’s even though he is not the focus. I love it when non-romantic relationships are the focus of fics and especially when they are central to the character’s resolving their own issues and moving forward in life and that is exactly what happens here.

until you're big enough by lostin_space      

Author’s summary: Lan Zhan is sad and not hungry; Lan Xichen asks Nie Mingjue to help him. 

My comment: This one is a really short and sweet read about how Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue parent the their younger brothers. I just really liked how the author portrayed todler Lan Zhan, as well as these two teenagers doing their best to be the parents that both he and Nie huaisang lack. 

Night Music by Manogahela                

Author’s summary: There is a music that plays in the night at Cloud Recess....but there isn't suppose to be. Lan Xichen investigates the mysterious dizi music that can be heard from the Jingshi at night following the Siege of the Burial mounds.

My comment: I absolutely adored this one, mainly for two reasons: 1. I love an outsider perspective and Lan Xichen’s, at this point and with his limited knowledge is absolutely wonderful. First, he isn’t even sure is what he thinks is happening really is happening and when he is sure, his feelings are, understandably very conflicted. 2. The author’s style compliments this fic so well. Since most of it happens at night and Xichen isn’t entirely sure that he can trust his senses, there is a certain dreamlike quality to it that the author writes beautifully. This fic is part one in a series. Part two is a WIP, but also very much worth the read!

Company by WithBroomBefore                

My summary: In which Wei Wuxian is whipped within an inch of his life by Madam Yu when he is fourteen and comes to stay at the cloud recesses. He and Lan Zhan become friends.

My comment: My summary once again does not do this fic justice. Because it is so much more than just that. It’s such a beautful exploration of friendship and love and bodily autonomy. Wei Wuxian has a lot to work through in this fic, but really, so has Lan Zhan who has the opportunity to make friends at a much more mellow pace than in the novel/show and panics a little less because of it. The war still happens but has much less dire consequences. All in all, this fic left me with a wonderful warm feeling in my chest.

you are safe / loved / worthy / enough by everythingispoetry                

Author’s summary: One of the more timid-looking posts, in pale greens and creams and yellows, says Hello, I'm managing to be fairly high functioning right now but I'm really not doing as well as it may appear, and Lan Zhan feels as if someone sneaked into his mind and read his most secret thoughts, the ones he's never even dared to admit to himself.

(In which Lan Zhan, to his own dismay, finds himself with the help of the most obnoxious, cheerful, cheesy self-care instagram account known to men.)

(And Wei Ying.)

My comment: Listen, I have a complicated relationship with fics that depict mental health struggles in characters. They are all so incredibly valid and I’m glad they exist (every single one of them, no matter if i like them or not) but due to the fact that they tend to come from the author projecting their own issues onto characters (which is NOT a bad thing! that is what fanfic is for!) they are often hit-and-miss when it comes to characterisation. But this story ... it just GETS Lan Wangji. If someone told me a scenario in a modern AU that leads to him developing an anxiety disorder and depression, this is what I would have come up with. Because let’s be real, Lan Wangji is a perfectionist to boot, insanely competitive and needs to live up to his family’s expectations, while also not having much of an emotional support system outside of his brother and uncle. That’s a dangerous cocktail in the modern world and just screams of a burnout waiting to happen. So Lan Wangji, off to university, living alone in a strange city for the frst time, spends all his time in a carefully calculated study routine but slowly realises that the path he set out on was not one he chose because he liked it but simply the one that was laid out for him by his background and family, which then leads to him questioning the reason behind what he does. That reads as incredibly real to me. A good AU, in my opinion, takes the characters and their inherent characteristics and lets them meet new and unique challenges that they never would have encountered in canon, which then leads to new and interesting character developement. And this AU manages that perfectly! (Plus, if you are a university student like me who sometimes suffers from crushing anxiety about the path they chose in life, this is insanely relatable. What? I never said I wasn’t biased :P)

porn (but not actually) and waiting (a lot of it) by hyacinth4maria    

Author’s summary: Lan Xichen sighs as he settles into the couch next to Lan Wangji.

"What are you looking at?"

Lan Wangji, without pausing from typing the names Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian in the Love Calculator 3000, says, "Porn."

Lan Xichen chokes.

- Lan Wangji has a crush. Lan Xichen hadn't realized his little brother was growing up.    

My comment: this one was hilarious! Just Lan Xichen being both absolutely exasperated and amused by wangxian’s pre-teen drama. I almost choked laughing at the line that coined the title. The author has these characters down to a T and they used their powers to attack my laugh-musccles :D

the field meets the wood by astronicht     

Author’s summary: Wei Wuxian is a dark shadow in the barley. Wei Wuxian is sorry for the kind of compassion that he is about to hand out.

(in which Lan Wangji is stolen for salt, and Wei Wuxian unravels the world, a little)

My Comment: HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS SO GOOD. Do you ever read a story and just marvel at the author’s mind? This is one of those. The sheer genius of giving Wei Wuxian the ability to pull entire beings into non-being! The absolute galaxy-brain idea to link the canon mythology to modern astrophysics!!! Wei Wuxian creates a motherfucking black hole in this one!!! And it’s SO well written, too! The author does not shy away from Wei Wuxian’s sharp edges and his darker side but goddamn if he is not still loveable anyway. Just GO READ THIS FIC!

Abandon your post by StarsAlignNomore        

Author’s summary: After months as Chief Cultivator and separated from his soulmate, Lan Wangji follows Wei Wuxian out into the world. He searches for him. He finds him. He kisses him. They reunite, they talk, they resolve. Sometimes Bichen lends emotional support. Chenqing bites. Little Apple is there too.

Your typical Post-Canon-Reunion-Fic with much more emphasis on their spiritual weapons than expected.

My comments: This one just left me with a lot of mushy feelings. Also I adore the way the author emphasised the relationship between Lan Wangji and Bichen. And by the end, Wangxian finally figure shit out through actual open communication. Absolutely beautiful!

#cql fic #cql fic rec #mdzs fic #mdzs fic rec #mdzs #cql #wangxian #wangxian fic rec #lan wangji #wei wuxian #lan xichen

[dontcallmecarrie]

I’ve seen so many Loki ships I wanted to see Doom because he’s so rare but now I’m torn! Loki as Justin’s PA please please give us !! And Winter as the occasional body guard ? *chef kiss*

Justin Hammer wasn't in the habit of having a PA, normally; that was more Tony's thing, because Tony's lifestyle meant he had so much stuff going down in such short periods of time that it was a full-time job just keeping everything on track and running smoothly.

Justin, though?

He was boring compared to Tony, sure; he wasn't a jet setter, wasn't the type who got involved in scandals every few months, wasn't a visionary who revolutionized technology every time he had a moment of inspiration.

He was just a businessman, trying to make it in the industry.

...as much as the only son and heir of a multimillion-dollar corporation could be 'just' anything, anyway.

He didn't do his own bookings, sure, but as a rule of thumb if he couldn't keep track of his own damn schedule, then something was wrong.

So for the longest time, it wasn't a problem that Justin didn't have a Pepper; between the secretaries and his own planner, they'd mostly had everything covered.

But...

Nobody would question the presence of someone if he called them his PA.

"That work for you, Loki?" Justin asked over his shoulder as he got everything ready, "Fast and free way to get a better feel for this world, if you're up for it."

And so it was that Stian Hall was born: a quiet, soft-spoken young man who shadowed Justin's every move and helpfully reminded him of upcoming appointments and birthdays and made notes when necessary.

And if Justin took to making more outings than usual, well...that was his business, wasn't it?

.

Over the next few months, Justin visited museums and art galleries and libraries, all under the guise of trying to figure out which they wanted to sponsor the most for the upcoming gala.

They regularly donated to children's hospitals and cancer research, but...if Tony was branching out, then clearly it was time to do the same, now, wasn't it?

So they also went to zoos and aquariums and music halls, just to round things out, and in between also got some ideas for potential gifts.

Planning for some of the outings wasn't always easy: if Justin didn't disguise himself sometimes, the press had the annoying tendency to assume he was secretly dating whoever was nearest to him and that never ended well. Loki's skill with illusions meant it was less of an issue, but still.

Decades of living in the spotlight meant some habits were particularly hard to break.

Well. At least the outings themselves were fun— and no, they were not dates, not unless they both agreed!

That particular aspect had been one of the little nuances that Loki seemed to struggle with sometimes even as he got used to life on Earth, not that Justin blamed him; after all, people had a tendency to find epic romances out of the most innocuous of things.

.

The Winter Soldier didn't tend to show up for anything other than dire emergencies.

As such, neither Justin nor Loki were expecting him to show up in their duplex, and Justin barely had the chance to glimpse a flash of silver before the world around them erupted in green flames and they had to practically tackle Loki to keep him from killing the man.

Or vice versa, because that knife would have definitely hit somewhere vital and damn it—

"Hey! Stop it, both of you!"

If so much as a scorch mark was left, Maintenance'd give them grief for weeks because blah blah, historical site, super expensive and hard to maintain, blah, metric buttloads of paperwork they really didn't have the time to deal with, blah.

Justin valiantly resisted the urge to facepalm.

"Loki, he's an ally, please don't turn him into a frog. Winter, meet Loki, my..." They eyed him askance for a moment, trying to figure out how to best word it. "Personal assistant slash bodyguard slash whatever the hell he wants to be."

"Does he always greet you with knives?" Loki asked, a strange gleam in his eyes and hands still throwing around far too many green sparks for comfort.

"Yeah, it's our thing. Now quit it."

"You're going to get yourself killed one of these days," the Winter Soldier muttered with a groan and he was not helping, "I got a lead on another branch, wanted to know if you or one of yours had any intel worth sharing."

"I'll ask Victor." Justin managed, before Loki finally shoved them behind him and they gave up any last scraps of dignity they might've had left in favor of grabbing onto his leg like a koala.

The look he got from both of them was incredibly undeserved, thank you very much.

Well. At least it succeeded in de-escalating the situation, that was something.

#No Hero [Downward Descending] #I got an ask! #Naught replies #replies