#BUT I NEED EVERYONE TO BE GOING BATSHIT CRAZY WITH ME TOO

[coleskingdom]

Hall Pass

Jay White x Female Reader

NSFW Minors DNI 18+

@midwestmade29 @madhatterbri

You need these” Jay handing me his sunglasses even though we were just sitting down for lunch in catering. “What? Why?” my attention drawn elsewhere. “If you’re going to stare at golden boys ass like that, at least do it from behind the glasses.” there was no humor in his tone. Just then Mariah walked in Jay reached back for the glasses putting them on as his head slightly followed her across the room.

I roll my eyes dramatically at him “I’ve lost my appetite.” pushing back from the table. “Sit, Sweetheart. If I didn’t eat every time you stared at golden boy , I would’ve starved to death by now.” he growled only low of enough for me to hear. I glared at him, as I took a bite. “A lesser man would’ve left you for your disrespectful eye fucking of golden boy. I however am not a lesser man. In fact from what I hear a romp with him isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” his wink and smirk had me wanting to stab him with my fork.

“ Why are you so ruffled? I saw that flash in your eyes. I’m a fair man, if you want a night of being pounded in to and being called Bruv, I’ll say yes, but you’ll have to say yes to me taking Mariah back to the hotel, but I know what I’m getting into. Those stardom girls are something different all together.”he made the chefs kiss motion. “I’m done here.” pushing back from the table and walking out of the room I heard his laugh as I left , Mariah taking a seat next to him as I glanced back.

“Ugh, I fucking hate him” slamming the door behind me entering into the Bullet Club Gold locker room. “ Who do you hate?” the unmistakable voice of Skye asked sitting up from the couch in the room. “What the fuck?”completely caught off guard staring at her. “ Hey now, Jay said I could lay down in here. He’s a real sweetheart. Seriously though, are you okay?” as she made room on the couch. “ No, yes, maybe. Jays the nod infuriating man I’ve ever met.” Sitting down “ But what did you do?” Nudging my shoulder playfully. “ Apparently I was staring at Wills ass.” she laughed “Its not funny. He then started staring at Mariah. Who the hell can compete with that and she just sat down with him as I left.” I put my head in my hands. “ It’s funny I got in the same situation twice with Kyle. Once for Will and once for Jay.” I looked at my jaw dropped .”Come on, look at him, he’s all abs and attitude. You know what you have. Don’t act shocked that I looked at him.” Smirking at me. “So why Will? Aside from his God like body. I get to say that because I’m sharing an apartment with him and Kyle. What is that keeps pulling your attention away?.” I hesitated “I’m your best friend just tell me.” Her hand taking mine. “ You’re right about abs and attitude with Jay. I don’t know he’s like that golden retriever puppy he’s just so fucking happy and nice. I’ll be fine and I’m gonna stop looking at Will. Jay thinks it’s all about that and I quote be pounded and called bruv. When it’s more like I want to have a burger and a laugh.” I sighed “ I trust Jay implicitly and I get why he did what he did, but he offered me a hall pass for Will if he could have one with her.” looking at my bestie “ Holy shit what did you say? Is Jay really okay with that ?Everyone knows he’s batshit crazy over you.” I got up and began to pace “ I didn’t say anything what the hell could I say, I was pissed and hurt that he’d actually say that. Maybe he’s tired of me, maybe it’s closer to being over than it is for forever. Fuck if I know. I’ve got to get out of here before he comes in here.” moving toward my bag. “Want my opinion I think you are handling too much of his shit? But I’m gonna say this because I love all three of you. Don’t take the hall pass and don’t give him one either. Will’s not for you, but if you want that burger and a laugh come out with me and Kyle, Will, and Mark I can make that happen.” She stood and hugged me. “I’m gonna head out I think you and Jay have some shit to talk about.” she left just as I was debating about following her.

“Sweetheart where are you headed?” Jay’s mocking tone filling the room as he and Skye passed each other. “ None of your fucking business.” walking towards him. “ Tsk tsk you know our rule we don’t leave each other mad. Besides the best part of fighting is the fucking afterwards.” he stalked me till my back was up against the wall. “ So are we done fighting?” his hand tracing my face the other one finding my hip.

“ Mariah not available?” I seethe but my body craves his touch. “You’d look so pretty wearing my hand as a necklace “ his fingers tracing the side of my neck his thumb pressing lightly causing me to gasp. “Sweetheart, there’s no one, that I want or need more than you.” his kiss sure and deep, his hand keeping my focus only on him. “ Keep looking at me like you want to fuck me but you also want to kill me." His hands thread in my hair, as he continues to kiss me. His hips move and he growls a bit of delight in the back of his throat. His hand pulls my hair harder, and it's like I'm completely swallowed by him.

I fall into that kiss, tumbling deep into this moment, forgetting about everything.

His fingers keep dip below my waistband stroking my pussy over my panties, the other hand gripping my ass. His hard body pins me against the wall and I wrap my arms around his neck, going insane with bliss. "You're fucking soaked," Jay’s voice amused. “You're touching me of course I am.” His mouth buries mine, hungry now, and his fingers slip underneath and tease up and down my slit. I'm moaning into his tongue and I don't care anymore as his fingers slide inside of me, fucking me nice and deep. Oh my god, he presses against that spot inside me . My knees go limp and he's supporting my weight as his fingers stroke in and out, hitting the spot over and over. My eyes roll back, l'm moaning, mindless, insane with pleasure, and he's not stopping.

He bites my lower lip and whispers, "Come for me, sweetheart, come on, you need it, don't you?"

"Yes," | gasp, shaking as I shatter on his hand. I come in a sudden rush, my fingers digging into his back, my cheeks tingling. "Good girl”he whispers my head resting on his shoulder.

“Jay, I’m…” his finger on my lips silenced me. “ I took it to far I’m sorry.” kissing my forehead. “Just the idea of you..” I put my finger on his lips this time.

#aew smut. #aew smut #aew fanfiction #switchblade jay white x reader #jay white x you #jay white fanfiction #jay white smut #switchblade jay white smut

[lochee]

me when i see bts fancams from the floor seats and people are NOT going batshit crazy during songs like dionysus, mic drop or baespae....

ME.... IT SHOULD BE ME TEARING IT UP ON THE FLOOR!!!!!!

#bts #army #I NEED A CONCERT #BUT I NEED EVERYONE TO BE GOING BATSHIT CRAZY WITH ME TOO #OR I'LL BE FINE WITH A SMALL CORNER OF CRAZY ARMYS LIKE ME #BUT PLEASE #I NEED YALL TO BE GOING CRAY #u guys let me have a spelling mistake (i fixed it) but so embarrassing yall #just found out i made ANOTHER fucking spelling mistake im ashamed of myself #not but srsly #u splashed the equivalent of nearly 100 quid to go to a bts concert AND YALL JUST STAND THERE....? bro i dont mean to complain #BUT I DESERVE THAT FLOOR SEAT

[michiganmerchant]

web weaving or whatever

#last night my brain had two thoughts collide like atoms producing a nuclear fission in the form of THEE most insane trope to ME which is #pet psychopath and his even crazier handler -> brandt and luke respectively #watching brandt get at it with an OHL dad over the boards during the playoff like YEAHHH that's my dman with character issues #SO BEAUTIFUL. and the tsn video too. god. the one where he gets into a playfight but ends up spinning the dude around #the potential is THERE and i am cooking up SO many scenarios in my head i am actually going insane. #when you're the kid who used to beat up your brothers friends during street hockey and you were called a pitbull like CMONNNN #it's not that luke doesnt have character issues its just that it was trained out of him by ellen who would NEVER let that fly but unlike hi #lady byng finalist brother and his +2 penalty drawing brother luke has ZERO compulsions actually shithousing someone #and he's such a bitch about it too. he's more of a bitch than his two brothers combined. if penalties weren't a thing in real life #the clarke/hughes dpairing would be the most rat bastard shithousery penalty drawns tandem in the LEAGUE thats my inteprid take #and the thing about pet psychopath and his even crazier handler is it that the devotion goes CRAZYYYYYY #brandt going fucking insane and luke having to haul him off before he starts beating up the dude himself like NOBODY FUCKS WITH MY BABY!!! #even if my baby started it lol. if brandt's crazy luke is batshit insane and then brandt has to go haul luke off before he gets kicked out #someone tries to chirp brandt over him fighting for luke constantly and brandt is like :) you're fucking lucky it's not luke #because CRUCIALLY luke is the better fighter. again. his even crazier handler. always ready to answer for brandt's attitude #in the locker room brandt like good job baby that was so sexy of you to right hook him -> rest of the devs staring in horror #JUST SOMETHING ABOUT COMING TO BLOWS FOR YOUR MAN!!! LOOKING UP AT HIM WITH A SMILE FULL OF BLOOD LIKE DID I DO GOOD? DID I MAKE YOU PROUD? #AND THEM RESPONDING WITH 100% RECIPROCATION. OH IT WAS ALWAYS ABOUT THE RECIPROCATION. #need them to be fucking bitches on the ice beating everyone up that would be so sexy to me!!! #the brandt/luke agenda #thinking. perhaps even thoughting. thunking.

[twilightarcade]

anyway timeline that I um. Should have waited to make. But was impatient and organizing files. Reads left 2 right like a book

that picrew

#wordstag #notwordswordstag ? #anyways to be exact. First image was created on January fourth of this year #which is kinda batshit crazy honestly. I Have grown as a person since then isn't that weird #anyway around the middle of the year I started getting cocky and made the images bigger. Yeah that Didn't Work. #ended up omitting more than Id like tbh. Maybe WHEN (as I will. Because everyone loves me (joking)) I make it big I'll make a Full art book #commentated #maaan that's so terrifying. Time has passed. #evie herself has. Drastically shifted too. Xyr original role has been somewhat replaced I suppose? More of a silly guy I guess. #though we've also shifted as a person I suppose. We're like character growthing over here man. #but we all know that our life in no way reflects on the art we make man. What is this . english class. #anyway I need to stop saying anyway so much. But. Anyways #I wish we had more excuses to draw nevaeh. I'm going to start making excuses man. #ANYWAYS!!!! IVE BEEN LISTENING 2 PRETTY LITTLE PSYCHO LATELY!!!! (for like. One day) absolutely remarkable uptick in energy

[r3ynah]

I Can be everything and anything, at once

A 27 years old Phantom was challenged to a bet, by his co-workers at the watchtower. Green lantern stated along with the the other heroes that If he could help every single one of them at least once in a month while not using any his powers and he also had to be physically and mentally there as he helps them. the cherry on top was that he needed to use his real identity instead of his ghost form in this mission.

If Phantom successfully conceals his civilian identity, while helping them, he gets to know everyone's deepest darkest secrets.

But if he loses, he must do everyone a favor and must keep it no matter how outrageous it is.

Ofcourse Phantom agreed, because he was no bitch, okay so maybe he is, he only accepts bets like this if he knows that'll he'll win. so yeah.

Besides, having no powers for this, is really a piece of cake, if you're a raging gender fluid that knows his way around makeup and can easily change the sound of his voice, to be honest the shapeshifting parts that he got from his powers are basically just add-ons.

Well what was he waiting for? afterall he needed all the blackmail he could get, not as Phantom but as Daniel James Fucking Fenton, this was an opportunity to go batshit crazy and he was absolutely stealing it.

The very first hero Danny approached to help was Wonder Woman, who thanked Danny who was now disguised as a woman wearing a long ass Red wig, and some clothes he "borrowed" from Jazz who just joked about Danny being her twin, and wished him luck.

"Thank you, young lady for your brave actions to help me." Wonder woman sincerely thanked the boy in disguise as she held both of Danny's hands as gratitude "may I ask the name of my savior? "

"My name's El, It's a pleasure to know you." Danny smiled a little wider.

The second was Flash, which Danny found completely amusing because of the way he helped the speedy hero, who tripped while patrolling around the city.

Danny who was now in a more gothic attire( thanks to Sam's help) caught the hero's wrist before he embarrassingly fell face first on the ground.

"You okay there sir?" Danny asked, as he kept a firm grip on the man's wrist to make sure he doesn't fall.

Meanwhile Flash who thought he was in those korea tv romance dramas only blue screened for a few seconds before finally get his shit together. "yeah- um- name's Flash, and you are?"

The hero tripped on his own words, making Danny amused as fuck. "James, it was nice to finally meet you"

Okay, about like three weeks in, and Danny managed to help almost everyone in the watchtower, and only a few more to go,( he didn't get why most of the heroes he helped either started to stutter or blue screen in their spot once they talk to him. like damn is this how all of you treat every civilian who interacts with you? that's just sad) but at this time, Dan and Elle found out, and were now demanding to join, with the excuse of basically being Danny but in alternate or clone form, which Danny had no choice but to give in, I mean he wasn't breaking any rules so technically this was alright.

Danny wanted to take a break so Dan took over this time.

currently Nightwing was observing the outside of the gala, Bruce was invited to, something about a bunch of drugs being hidden within the crowd, and was now being passed around.

He intently remained focused on his observation, while also keeping a conversation with Oracle and the others on the comms, he didn't realize that he was too far off the edge of the railing he was standing on, until he missed a step.

Nightwing would never admit that he let a quiet squeal to his siblings ever as he fell, he closed his eyes and braced for impact, he would never expect to fall into the arms of a man 3x bigger than him, he stared at the man, and the man stared at him. 'holy shit' Nightwing thought.

The man, chuckled making Nightwing internally scream. "When I wished for Desiree, to make someone from above to save me from this trash party, I didn't think it would be one of the birds of gotham, to come and fall for me let alone the handsome one."

Okay Nightwing was now full on red from blushing, he was put down gently by the man on the ground, before offering a handshake, once Nightwing accepted the handshake, Dan pulled the hand closer to his mouth then gave a quick peck on the back of the hand vigilante's hand. "My name's Dan Masters, it's a pleasure to meet you."

his siblings can eat dirt on how they were teasing Nightwing Right now, but this was fucking worth it.

And the last to have gotten help from Danny was John Constantine, Danny actually had a reason on why he saved John for last, and that's because John actually knows Danny's identity, so for this mission he asked the help of his daughter Elle.

Elle had helped John by fixing a ruined summoning circle, who also helped him negotiate with a demon, and somehow all day, Elle just stuck to Constatine's side, her explanation? 'He'll die without me' fair point John thought as he took the kid, to order ice cream and to hangout in the park.

"You know kid, you remind me of someone." Constantine stated while keeping his eyes on what's infront of him, which was just a bunch of trees.

Elle who sat next to him, still eating her Ice cream looked up at him and said. "Really?"

"Yeah like you two literally have the same aura and all just a little different, but I don't know who yet." He replied and ruffled the kid's hair. making the girl laugh.

"Hey John!" Danny greeted behind them, and then all the gears inside of Constantine's head began to work. he let out a groan as he realized the girl beside him was the clone of the man behind him, well he needed to kiss that secret of his goodbye. here on this spot right now or he'll die of embarrassment if he waited any longer.

"Danny, let's go on a date." Constantine stated, not facing the Man.

this comment made the Father and Daughter choke on literal air.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc #dc x dp crossover #dp x dc fanfic #dp x dc prompt #dpdc #danny is nonbinary #almost everyone atleast has feelings for civilian Danny #this was made while half asleep #Danny takes a selfie everytime he disguises #first failures #king con

[lunememes]

🌙 * ― 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐃 𝐎𝐍 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐃 ( a collection of unhinged and relatable things said on discord. feel free to change wording as needed! do not add to the list. )

❛  you know bullying is my love language and you’re still here so… ❜ ❛  i mean... who am i to say no to that. ❜ ❛  hey, some might be into that. i won’t judge. much. ❜ ❛  we can both be dumb but pretty. ❜ ❛  because you wanna know why? fictional men can't disappoint me like real life men can. ❜ ❛ i need someone that’d end the world for me.  ❜ ❛ can’t be sad with dick / pussy. or nice tits.  ❜ ❛  thinking of how they're all old in this movie like wow i love dilfs and milfs. ❜ ❛  he fucking is like a ROACH, CAN'T EVER GET RID OF HIM. ❜ ❛  [name] do not encourage their antics, I BEG OF YOU. ❜ ❛  don't bully me, i'll cry. ❜ ❛  [name]..... why are you such a people pleaser. ❜ ❛  i am an indecisive bitch okay. ❜ ❛  don't squish his TUMMY! ❜ ❛  fair enough but what did you do dumb bitch? ❜ ❛ i have a flyswatter, i will smack him.  ❜ ❛  oh god yeah, add that motherfucker as well... the hate list grows. ❜ ❛  he gets no peace in any universe. ❜ ❛  if they get hurt, they get hurt. ❜ ❛  no love… there is no love in this house. ❜ ❛  truly, the braincells are not in my head. ❜ ❛ i wanna grab his waist. ❜ ❛  they just… need to fuck the anger out. ❜ ❛  could be worse but i'm judging. ❜ ❛ yes, oil me up baby.  ❜ ❛  don't you shush me. ❜ ❛  how dare you make me NOT distracted. ❜ ❛  i'm sure you've seen each other naked before, this is nothing new. ❜ ❛  suffer. ❜ ❛  i ... fucking THIEF. ❜ ❛  old men are just superior. ❜ ❛  sometimes people just deserve to be stabbed. ❜ ❛  bisexuals don't sit normally. ❜ ❛  i never said i was smart. ❜ ❛  what am i to say about this? want me to kiss your booboos better? ❜ ❛  JOKES ON YOU, I ACTUALLY DO, AHAHAHAHA. ❜ ❛  we both know you have a mask kink. ❜ ❛  kick him six feet under. ❜ ❛  to be fair i only killed those at the gate. ❜ ❛  well sooooorry, can't all be goody-two-shoes like [name]. ❜ ❛  i'm gonna murder you. ❜ ❛  it's because you're OLD. ❜ ❛  we're just ... too nice for our own good. ❜ ❛  and then you got sweaty [name] out here going batshit crazy and killing a whole building of people. ❜ ❛  we are in fact too dumb and yet here we are. ❜ ❛  actually i'm a liar, i'd let a lot of men get it. ❜ ❛  oOP NOT ME SEEING ANOTHER VIDEO/PICTURE AND I THINK HE'S FINGERING HER. ❜ ❛  he's adorable when he isn't being a gremlin and trying to randomly bite me. ❜ ❛  it’s in my contract of existing to bully everyone. ❜ ❛  well clearly you enjoy it since you’re still here. ❜ ❛  feeling a little called out? ❜ ❛  anything can be a dildo if you're brave enough. ❜

#discord starters #rp memes #rp meme #sentence starters #rp prompts #inbox memes #roleplay memes

[i-cant-sing]

Hmmm I could get tired over any fandom but.... batfam???? Yall would never see me tired of talking about them.

Like think just how absolutely batshit crazy they'd go if reader fractures her limb or something. Maybe reader like slips off the stairs or falls from a swing or something, and the batfam- they have to watch it all happen in slow motion, and nothing- there's absolutely nothing they can do to help you. It's scarring for Dick to watch the color drain from your face as you drip to the ground. It's scarring for Jason to hear the nasty crack as your bone bends in an ugly handle. It's scarring for Tim to hear you scream in pain. It's scarring for Damian to see the blood pour out of your body. And it's oh so heart wrenching for Bruce to hear you cry into his chest as he carries you to Alfred to get your cast done.... how hopeless he felt, unable to soothe your pain.

But things only seem to go even more downhill from there. As you recover, the family has silently decided to double down on their paranoia and be even more coddling and protective of you. You wanna walk down the stairs? Nope, here comes big bro Jason to hold your hand- or better yet, carry you around in his arms. Why risk you even tripping over air?

Wanna get something from the top shelf? Stand back, dont need the shelf or something heavy falling over your head and cracking your skull open. Let Dick pull the cookie jar down for you- but why are you even eating cookies this late???? You need to get some healthy nutrients in you, lest you should have weak frail bones. Heres your broccoli.

Wanna play video games or go on socials? Well, no more! Dont need you getting influenced by the violent storylines and bad news from around the world- Tim wouldnt your mental health to be affected. If you really want, you can use his laptop... under his supervision.

What the fuck do you think youre doing staying up past your bedtime? What do you mean youre too old to have a bedtime???? Get your ass back in bed before Damian drags you back like a gremlin and REMINDS you of the bedtime he has set for YOU, because he doesnt need you becoming an insomniac and turning insane. He will not be the one to bust you out of Arkham asylum (he absolutely would, but hed be complaining all the way) just because you decided you didnt need your 10 hours of sleep!

Wanna go to your therapist? Well, you cant cause he suddenly moved far away and every other therapist in gotham is a maniac in disguise. Bruce doesnt get why you cant just talk to him about your feelings??? Dont you trust him? Your dear father, the very man whod hold you in his arms and shield you from the scary lightening when you were young? The very man who you would ramble on to about everything and anything, including tattling on Damian locking you in his room and throwing a tantrum when Jason took you away when you were all kids? You can tell him anything sweetie, even if you wanna bitch about the batfam... it'll hurt a bit, but hed be okay (absolutely has big sad eyes when you tell him how everyones just too suffocating for you and you wanna leave them)

#yandere batfam #yandere batfam x reader #yandere batman #yandere batboys #yandere bruce wayne #yandere damian wayne #yandere dick grayson #yandere jason todd #yandere tim drake

[porcobrainr0t]

I GET DRUNK ON JEALOUSY!

including satoru gojo & a batshit crazy reader.

content warnings of swearing, slut shaming, threats, hints of insecurity, reader has problems, no use of y/n

notes lmk how we’re feeling ab obsessive reader after u finish this… readers so cheeky. reqs are open. i didn’t proofread this btw so ignore mistakes thx bye

the first times you brought up your concerns to satoru about his obscene amount of female friends, he shrugged you off without a second thought. which led to you going through his phone while he showered and finding various messages of the girls he called “just friends” openly talking about you and your antics.

i dunno how ur not seeing it satoru. all she does is gaslight you :((

u deserve better toru ! there are so many girls out there who would treat u 10x better than wtv she’s doing <3

of course satoru shut down these ideas the moment they were sent, but that didn’t stop you from fighting the urge to gag as one of his friends called him by his nickname. your nickname. an eye twitched as you heard the shower turn off and you exited out of his phone before going back to apply your makeup, satoru coming out shortly after.

“so who do we know that’s going to be there?” it was a joke of a question, really. you knew it all. it was some fraternity horndog hosting the house party, so you weren’t too suspicious.

“probably just like… my whole friend group.” satoru shrugged as he buttoned up his loose shirt, approaching your vanity as you glanced at him in the mirror. you hummed in acknowledgment, nodding slowly.

“so… those girls? god, i just can’t put a name to any of their faces. you’ll have to remind me once we see them tonight.” cocking your head to the right ever so slightly, you made your passive aggressive comment to satoru.

he bent down to kiss your cheek before walking to put on his shoes. “s’not like they matter. you ready to go?”

coincidentally, you do run into one of those girls that happened to be talking about you in satoru’s DM’s. her outfit told you everything you needed to know about her. goddamn skank. the urge to strangle you is so strong— your thoughts are interrupted by satoru pressing a chaste kiss to your lips before murmuring in your hair.

“i’m gonna go catch up with suguru, ‘kay? don’t get lost on me now,” he teased and you grinned, nearly falling in love all over again. honestly, you can’t blame the girls.

satoru’s presence left your peripheral and the girl (still too unbothered to acknowledge their names) opens her mouth to introduce herself before you cut her off with a raised finger and a small smile. “stop messaging satoru,” your voice dropped an octave, and her face went pale. the music muffled your conversation to everyone else surrounding, only pushing you to threaten her further. “talk all the shit you want about me to whoever will listen, but don’t let me see it on satoru’s phone. or i’ll shove a butchers knife down your throat ten times bigger than the dicks you suck.”

you brushed away any lint from your tight fitted top before smiling once more at her, tucking a stray strand behind your ear innocently before turning to see satoru and suguru laughing in a corner. “this was a good talk. hopefully won’t see you around.”

satoru opens his arm for you to tuck yourself under with a smile as he sees you approaching, before placing another soft kiss to your hairline. “have fun, baby?”

“lots.” you grin, “lots of fun.”

#iv out #my work #satoru gojo #jjk gojo #jjk #jujutsu kaisen x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo x reader #satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen #🧛🏿‍♀️ #first jjk post how do we feel #i’m tired of innocent helpless reader let’s get some psychotic obsessive reader

[wandixx]

Dani gives people heart attacks and brings down a lot of trafficking rings, making friends along the way. Everything by accident, really

Dani traveled around world, hadn't she? While doing it, she had to meet a lot of interesting people.

Like heroes or villains.

In civies or not or both who knows.

But to actually learn things about someplace you have to spend more than one night there. Like, idk? Month? Probably more but I doubt she would be able to sit in one place for any longer. In many places she is shorter.

Month is long enough to create some connections though.

Enough to get someone to realize when you disappear...

Yeah, Dani on her way of gremlin and self discovery ghosted bunch of people without second thought. They'll probably forget her in few months anyway. And she was everywhere in USA. She didn't left American soil only because she didn't want to be too far from Danny in case of emergency. Before anyone tells me he was in space so he could fly to her wherever on Earth she would be, Earth's atmosphere ends about 100 km above sea level and officially this is border of space. Telecommunication satellites are between 8000 to 12000 km up. It's about how wide Atlantic Ocean is.

Plus y'know, time. If she needs help, she probably can't quite wait until he flies all the way to Hong Kong, Wladywostok, Rio de Janeiro or wherever she is.

So America it is. For now at least. When they're 100% sure she is stable she'll fly elsewhere.

Anyway people who she ghosted are used to batshit crazy stuff but "this tween is alone on her road to self discovery and just left for new city" isn't first thing anyone thought about. Maybe outside of Martians. They know. Everyone else? No idea what happened to this tiny, chaotic, snarky, probably meta child.

First thought though?

She got kidnapped.

So now 3/4 of Justice League, some individual heroes and bunch of less intense rogues are scrambling around their cities tracking every trafficking ring they found glimpses of, trying to find Dani.

Flashes work with Captain Cold on this and seem to slowly descend into madness. At the same time, Dani eats ice cream with nice museum lady from Washington who introduced herself as Diana. Then she helps at animal shelter with kind stuck up boy called Damian. Oh, Danny likes aliens, let's visit Martian Manhunter. Maybe she'll manage to get autograph for her template. Wait Space Cops? Kinda sucks but Danny would probably like their signatures too. Let's go. Oh, Superboys are fun mess with and older one is like her! This Nightwing guy puns like Danny but she always feels like he looks at her weirdly. Billy should eat more, magic or not, fighting is tiring. Good thing she has Sam's money to buy him burgers.

She has time of her life while people she met are slowly dying.

She probably doesn't even hide that she is traveling but for whatever reason they don't think she actually left.

They don't bring it up on any meeting because no matter how concerned they are, it's not really whole league type of business. And Martians just discreetly enjoy chaos.

There is a lot of ways it can get resolved (or not) but I kinda thought about Jon introducing his old buddy Damian to his new buddy Dani because he thinks they would get along and they just stare at each other for long moment before:

"Dani..."

"Dami!"

"WHY DID YOU LEFT WITHOUT A WORD! WE THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDNAPPED OR DEAD!"

Some screaming and revelation that Killer Croc was looking for her too, Dani hits moment of realisation.

"Wait, is this what people think when you just up and go?"

"Honestly? Yeah"

"Oh, Ancients I did this to so many people. So many..."

Idk, just Dani traveling and leaving people behind.

Do with it what you will

#dp x dc #dpxdc #dc x dp #dcxdp #nobody really questions why Martians brought popcorn to Watchtower meeting because their stretch to thin between attending said meeting #and wondering where this tiny gremlin disappeared #it would be kinda histeric to me if she visited some cities few times but met other people #like first time in Gotham she bothers Jason and pets hienas #then few months later she has brawl with killer croc and becomes Duke's kibda sidekick for a week #then she smacks Joker and volunteers at animal shelter with Damian #and somehow they don't connect it #or they do and think she repeatedly gets kidnapped and escapes but doesn't leave the city because something #only hope flashes have left at this point is that she didn't show up in morgue #they actually consider running back in time to save her #also #some heroes and villains heard some thing and they *preparing weapons* #just want to talk with Vlad #just talk they promise #idk just enjoy and spread the chaos #have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part

[runa-falls]

a lover’s spat

summary: reader tries to teach lloyd a lesson

pairing: lloyd hansen x f!reader (third person)

rating: mature

warnings: almost cheating, mentions of blowjobs, guns/gunshots, minor character injury/death, choking, third person for no reason??

w/c: 1.2k 😭 WAIT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DUMBASS DRABBLE

a/n: i rewatched tgm and i have some thots.--i need a suicide squad jokerxharley type relationship with lloydxreader where they’re both crazy/erratic and always horny for each other.

- btw i'm writing this after 3 glasses of wine and i'm not gonna proof read it until tomorrow--so enjoy [?]

series masterlist

-=+=-=+=-=+=-

bear with me: imagine the reader attempting to make lloyd jealous

so everyone knows about Lloyd and his princess. Lloyd is a batshit-crazy murderer and his girl is the same. the only difference is that she does it all in heels.

evidently, no one wants to get involved in that shit-show.

they have a history of ending their explosive relationship with actual explosives, and celebrating their fiery make-ups with actual fire (and unnecessary torture sprees[?]).

basically, it's assumed that if someone gets in the way, they're asking to be collateral or volunteering to be their next meal.

now, the relationship is "on" again--and it's as rocky as ever.

Lloyd's precious princess is attempting to teach him a little lesson for ignoring her. apparently, he's been too focused on work lately: always kicking her out of his office because she’s “too distracting” when she hangs around.

she doesn’t understand. all she did was perch prettily on his lap, eat some snacks, and occasionally try to suck him down her throat. it's not her fault he can't handle it...

so she decides she’s gonna grab a cute boy from the club and ignore him. it's an innocent game of trying to make her boyfriend jealous. of trying to see how far she can go until he breaks down and fucks her.

but it doesn't go exactly according to plan.

her first mistake was doing it in his own club. he has eyes everywhere. every entrance is watched, every person is accounted for, and everyone is under his command. he won't miss anything.

her second mistake was wearing his favorite dress. she knows the barely there pink number drives him crazy: cut outs in all the right places, draping beautifully against her figure. he personally picked it out to fuck her in it for their second anniversary.

she thought it would be that extra kick-to-the-throat to send him over the edge.

her third and final mistake was breaking the kissing rule. despite what everyone thinks, lloyd can be a reasonable guy. at least for her. he gives her second, third, even fourth chances. she's allowed to tease, prod, or even grope other guys, but kissing has always been off limits.

unfortunately for him, she's always one to push the limits. that was his mistake.

she is exhilarated by the deathly stare he sends from across the dance floor. and though her lips were pressed against another, her eyes stayed locked onto his baby blues, drinking in every ounce of his fury. his hands curl into fists at his sides as he watches the scene under the dimmed lighting.

she sees him call over one of his men, eyes still locked with hers, grunting frustrated commands over the bass-boosted music. they nod, muttering into their earpiece before passing him a dark object.

suddenly, the music around her ceases. she recognizes this chest-tightening feeling: something is about to happen.

lloyd winks at her with a sly smirk before casually raising his arm in her direction--his long fingers delicately hold a gun. before she can separate from the man, an ear piercing bang echoes through the crowded room. everything stops for a moment: all dancing pauses, all talking ceases, and all breathing freezes.

then once everyone processes the noise, it's instant chaos. the music, still blaring through the speakers, is quickly drowned by high pitched screams, and frantic yelling. fear and desperation pools through the crowd, pushing everyone towards the exits.

his girl, however, simply rolls her eyes in annoyance: he just had to make a scene. she drags the back of her hand against her lips, wiping off smudged lipstick and the distinct taste of tequila, before abruptly pushing her experiment away from her, sharply aware of what is coming next.

the nameless man clumsily stumbles backwards in confusion, his drunk-fucked mind still unaware of the cause of the chaos. then another shot rings through the room, and he ceremoniously falls to his knees.

she sees lloyd graciously walking toward them, the crowd parting around him. a shit eating grin beams from under his 'stache.

"come'on, princess," his scolding tone is doused in honey as he considers the man under him. without hesitation, he pops another shot into the man's back before looking back up. "you know the rules." she doesn't pay any mind to the violent act, used to his outspoken actions.

she gives lloyd an innocent shrug, emphasizing her considerable cleavage that's now shining with sweat from the hot atmosphere of the (once) crowded club. "you said rules are made to be broken." she calmly smoothes out her short dress, ignoring his heated stare, pretending to make sure there aren't any unruly blood stains from her temporary partner-in-crime.

"so...what was this," he waves his gun around the fallen soldier, "little tantrum about, hm?" she hated how he talked to her like a child, always cooing and using easy words just to piss her off.

"the fact you don't know fuckin' proves my point!" she whines, pouting childishly under his gaze. "it's like you go through our relationship completely fucking blind, only caring when you feel like it!" he takes a swift step closer, taking her by surprise as he fully grabs her by the throat.

his words seethe through clenched teeth as he pulls her close enough for his forehead to touch hers, "look, baby, i've tried to be cordial with you, but now you're just being a brat." she can feel blood throb through her head as his grip tightens. "i don't know what crawled up your ass! i can't read your fucking mind!"

she squirms in his hold, weakly kicking against his shins, "you ignored me! you chose work over me!" her voice rasps out against his hand, but she's barely phased by her positioning. "you don't fucking love me!" his hand briskly releases her, leaving her a panting mess on her knees in front of him.

"you think i don't love you just 'cuz i wouldn't fuck you into the desk while i was on a call?"

"it was never an issue before..."

he sighs, realizing this is just another blip in their relationship that really doesn't matter. "honey, i actually have work to do. this isn't some hollywood fairytale where this money appears outta thin air."

she scrunches her nose at his condescending tone, finally having enough of this power play for the night. "obviously i knew that! i'm not fucking dumb, lloyd." she stands back up, trying to size him up even though he's quite a bit taller than her.

"well, if you knew it, then what's the fucking problem? why are we even discussing this." he groans, clearly done with the pointless argument.

"oh okay, so since you don't have a problem with it, there isn't one?"

"that's not what i said."

"whatever, lloyd. i'm done." she turns to the dark emptiness of the club, enjoying the finality of her heels echoing through the room.

a dark chuckle blooms from behind her, "yeah, that's not happening."

she turns her head over her shoulder with a snarky smile, movements not stopping, "uh-yeah, i think it is."

she spoke too soon.

as he clears his throat, every exit is swiftly blocked by one of his men, all dressed in thick black uniforms.

"no. i don't think it is.” she looks back, watching him fiddle with the gun in his hands as he stares her down, “why don’t you come back here, and sit nicely in front of daddy?” there’s a bout of silence between the couple, tensions rising as they both anticipate who’s going to make the first move.

she silently shakes her head, trying to hang on to her last strand of defiance. he tilts his head with frustration, “how about this: sit down like a good puppy or i’ll fuck your throat raw.”

#lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen x you #the gray man #tgm #chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #lloyd thots #lloyd hours #stop this was supposed to be a thot #like 500> words!! #wtf #pls don't judge me for this #third person for no reason? #jarley #type relationship

[stories-and-chaos]

Tarnished

[Helluva Boss AU where Blitzø’s childhood theft from Stolas’ palace is discovered and major consequences ensue for everyone involved. Concept inspired by this AU, Push. Trying to stick with established lore but taking some liberties to make the drama work. Multiple headcanons from various sources I’ve come across included as suits the story. Starts roughly five years before Murder Family, I’m making assumptions about the timeline]

[18+ rating for language, implied sexual content, violence, alcohol consumption and general Hellaverse-ness]

[Part 1/?? Word count: 3761]

———————

Moxxie’s back slammed into the rough wooden bed frame as he heard the distinctive clang of prison bars rattling shut. He still couldn’t believe Chaz had just left him there. Grabbed the goods and ran. The imp realized his boyfriend was just as shitty out of bed as he was in it. He started tearing up as he climbed on the bottom bunk. Moxxie knew his dad wouldn’t bail him out or anything. He might have been the boss’s only (legitimate) son but he was also the most junior member of the family. And Crimson was not a sentimental imp.

Moxxie had been caught red clawed too, pinned by the security gate. No need for any formalities like a trial in the Greed Ring. A mugshot, strip down, and forced into a jumpsuit before the cops tossed him in a cell. Of course, Greed’s police force was basically a mafia on a wider scale.

“Soooo, what’re you in for?” A voice drawled from the top bunk. Moxxie hadn’t realized he had a cellmate. Oh crumbs, had the other demon heard him crying?! If there was a way to ensure you didn’t get out of prison in one piece, it was letting others know how weak you were the moment you were locked up. His tail reflexively whipped closer, as if trying to hide himself.

“Okay, not much of a talker, are you?” The voice almost sounded jovial. In prison? A squeak of the mattress and the other prisoner launched himself to the floor with theatrical flair. Before he could do more than sit up and blink the tall imp gripped his hand to shake. Not the vice-like grip his father used, hard enough to make claw shaped indents into the other’s hand. It was a firm, friendly shake.

“I'm Blitzø, the "o" is silent. I'm sure we're going to get along just fine. So, what's your deal? What'd you do? Who'd you diddle? You look like someone good with a gun. You look like someone who could shoot up an office-“ Moxxie tried to interject, but the other imp plowed on.

“-and I hope you are 'cuz I got a plan to get us out of this dump but I'm going to need some help, you think you can give me a hand? I need to get out to my daughter. The babysitter will kill me if I don't get back soon. Also I got some business scheduled in Pride that I gotta get back for. Do you like kids? 'Cause lemme tell 'ya. They're a-fucking-dorable.” Moxxie felt his eyes warming up with more tears but his lips were forming a shaky smile. He realized he hadn’t smiled like this since… well he could barely remember. At first he thought since Chaz ditched him, but really it was since his mom “disappeared.”

It took a couple of days for the cellmates to enact Blitzø’s plan. Moxxie had to learn the complex’s layout and they had to make sure they could get to a weapon cache. Their escape was successful, both of them got banged up, and Moxxie’s body count tripled as a result of the escapade.

A few things they learned about each other: Blitzø’s circus background made him extremely agile and prone to acrobatic feats in a fight. He was batshit crazy once the ichor started flowing but he kept his eye out on his partner. The scarred imp backed up Moxxie more than once when he floundered while they fled for the Pride Ring. His plans were grandiose but he was quick to adapt and quicker to protect his cohort.

On the other claw, Moxxie was even better with firearms than Blitzø thought. So long as the kid kept his composure, he didn’t miss a shot. It was almost magickal and he saw more magick than most of their kind. The kid seemed quiet and well mannered for the most part. He could get absolutely fucking feral in a fight, becoming an even better shot if that was possible. But he was insecure and desperate for approval. The pure shock on his face when Blitzø told him “nice work Mox,” after they got out told the older imp that he’d probably never been praised in his life.

One bonus to no trial before you were thrown in prison? No one was too keen on dragging you back if you got out. Especially if you massacred 80% of the guards on your way out, traumatized 18%, and awakened some very interesting feelings in the final 2%. It wasn’t worth spending hard grifted money chasing down someone who would just do the same thing even if you managed to catch them. If they’d run off from Mammon, the escaping prisoners would be hunted down. But otherwise, even the police mafia didn’t give that much of a shit.

The duo had snagged a couple of overcoats so their bright orange jumpsuits would stand out less. The plan was to get to Blitzø’s apartment, check up on his kid, grab some cash to rent Moxxie a room for the night and change before Blitzø had to be at his appointment.

Except once they got to the Pride Ring, Blitzø started freaking the fuck out. “Shitshitshitshitshiiiiiiitfuckingdammit.” A stream of profanities just kept coming out of his mouth as Blitzø picked up his pace.

“Um, sir?” It was drilled into Moxxie to address superiors as sir or ma’am; Blitzø had taken charge during their escape and didn’t seem to mind being called sir. “What happened, you started panicking once we got here.” This was presumably the older imp’s home turf, yet he was more off balance than at any other point in the past three days.

“FUUUUUUUCKokay Mox, change of plans.” He spun around and grasped the shorter imp by the shoulders. “I lost track of the time and I can’t miss this appointment. Do you know anyone in this ring that can put you up for the night?” Blitzø doubted it. It seemed like the kid had stayed in Greed up until now. A quick head shake confirmed that. “You got two choices, cause I don’t have time to get you someplace first. You can head off alone and we’ll meet up tomorrow or you can come with me, play along, and hope it’s not worse than prison.”

Moxxie was taken aback; first off that was the most words in a row without swears he’d heard from Blitzø. Second, “Where are you going that’s worse than prison?”

“A Goetian estate.”

Moxxie’s jaw dropped. He might as well have said he was meeting up with Lucifer. Yet… Blitzø had an appointment to be there. And it was important enough that he couldn’t even check on his kid first. Not to mention, wandering around an unfamiliar area wearing a prison jumpsuit was next to suicidal. “I’ll stick with you sir.”

“Ballsy! I knew I fucking liked you Moxxie.” He whirled around and started loping toward the fancy ass side of the city. “Keep up Mox! We gotta go!”

It took about half an hour of running and weaving through crowds but they made it before…whatever time Blitzø was so intent on outrunning. He had started running even faster about halfway, his desperation more than apparent. Once he passed through the gates, all the tension left his body. He slumped to the ground; Moxxie hesitated as he gaped at the ornate fencing. The gate and elegant fence had the symbol of the Goetia family (a crowned heart) emblazoned every few yards.

Moxxie had grown up a privileged life, especially for an imp. Servants, tutors, a well stocked manor. But the building in front of him was on another level. It was more of a palace than anything; multistoried with heraldic banners hanging, multiple manicured gardens, statues strategically placed and the master’s sigil glowing prominently on the wall. And that was just what he could glimpse in the full moon’s light. This was the difference between money and royalty.

“Last chance Moxxie. C’mon in or head off somewhere and I’ll meet you at my office at noon tomorrow. If you’re still standing around here in a few, those fuckers will drag you with me anyway.” He gulped and stepped onto the grounds next to the other imp. “Still ballsy.” Blitzø’s grin was back.

“Here’s what’s going to go down. Any minute now some beefy hellhound fucks are gonna show up to haul me in. They might grab you, might let you walk. Either way, keep your mouth shut and just back me up if I ask. Hopefully we won’t see that overdressed bitch tonight but if she’s around don’t make eye contact. And-“ whatever he was about to add was cut off as four hellhounds jogged up.

Blitzø wasn’t kidding about them being beefy. They were all different breeds but they all had biceps as big as his head, wrapped in artfully ripped suits. The matching suits, earpieces, sunglasses, and crisp posture gave them an air of professionalism that was a sharp contrast to his dad’s goons.

“Oh look, it’s the Chucklefuck squad and the Douchenugget duo. Who’d you piss off to land the night shift?” Blitzø taunted the Hounds, seemingly indifferent to the fact any one of them could snap him in half. Two of them grabbed Blitzø by the arms, grinning sadistically at the thought of manhandling the smaller demons.

“Lady Stella specifically requested we escort you in, Blitzø.” Blitzø winced “Satan fucking dammit.” Apparently Lady Stella was the overdressed bitch he’d mentioned. “She’s got a party tonight so she doesn’t have to hear your scrawny ass getting pounded. But she knew how much you’d like friends to bring you home.” The Hellhound punctuated his words with a sharp snap of his teeth.

Home? Moxxie backpedaled in confusion, only to bump into the leg of another security Hound. Said Hound grabbed him around the torso, easily pinning both arms and leaving Moxxie’s hooves dangling far from the ground. He struggled, trying to at least get back to the ground. The size difference and Moxxie’s lack of weapons meant he didn’t stand much chance at the moment. The pair with Blitzø took the lead, not caring that his dragging hooves were tearing furrows into the lawns or creating sparks on the paths.

Blitzø let them, worn out from the prison break and subsequent dash back to Pride. He was too tired to try to keep pace with his “escorts.” He kept glancing back to Moxxie, trying to reassure him. The younger imp was clearly terrified. He couldn’t really help the kid at the moment; the bulldog faced Hellhound carrying him lifted his lip whenever Blitzø looked back.

Fuck this fucking farce and fuck Paimon with a rusty crucifix for doing this, Blitzø thought to himself for the ten thousandth time in his life. Best to go through the motions as quickly as possible. The group arrived at one of the drawing rooms and Blitzø was dumped unceremoniously on the thick carpet.

The whirlwind trip through the estate proved to Moxxie that royalty had a whole different definition of luxury from what he knew. Paintings, mosaics, sculptures, exotic plants were just the beginning as they rushed through hallways wider than his bedroom at his dad’s. He’d lost count of how many doors they passed before they reached one in particular.

Blitzø was thrown to the ground but the one holding Moxxie didn’t loosen his grip. Blitzø glared back at the Hellhounds, hissing. The Hounds responded with low growls. Everyone went silent when a lithe figure snapped the cover of a book shut and unfolded itself from a lounge by the fireplace. This had to be one of the Goetia, presumably the master of this estate.

His extreme height was the first thing Moxxie noticed. Moxxie was about average for an imp in height; the glimpses he’d seen of imp servants in this maze were all much smaller. Blitzø was on the taller end of the spectrum but the Hounds were easily double his height. This royal demon towered over them all. You could stack Moxxie, Blitzø, and even one of the small servants on a Hellhound’s shoulders and they still would barely be eye level with the demon’s glowing eyes.

At least the bottom set. He had two sets, a large bottom pair and a thinner set above that could have been mistaken for elegant eyebrows if they hadn’t been glowing red. Glowing eyes weren't unusual for hellborn, but the deep red pupil-less aura was still intimidating. The white facial disc only enhanced that aura with its contrast.

What could be seen of the demon’s form was covered in smooth grey feathers, sheening in the firelight. The plush robe he wore was lightly cinched at the waist and barely clung to the shoulders, showing the feathers covered the majority of his body. He stalked deliberately to where Blitzø was climbing to his hooves, features set in a stern expression.

“St- Master Stolas,” Blitzø stuttered as the avian demon loomed above him. Master?! Oh crumbs, what in Satan’s name is going on?! Was all that talk about a daughter, starting up a business, growing up in the circus, everything just a lie? “I got back as quick as I could, I didn’t even have a chance to check on Loonie first…” Stolas cut him off with a gesture. Apparently the daughter talk wasn’t a lie at least.

Stolas glanced at the Hound carrying Moxxie. “Put the little one down,” he ordered in clipped, cultured tones. “I’ll deal with them from here.” The Hounds exchanged glances and grins. Suddenly Moxxie was on the ground when his captor opened his arms. “As you wish, Prince Stolas.” The imp was getting serious mood whiplash. Stolas wasn’t just a member of the Goetia but one of the princes. Maybe Blitzø was right; this was worse than prison.

The guards hadn’t left the room before Stolas leaned over Blitzø, foreheads nearly touching. “What the FUCK were you doing in the Greed Ring that landed in you prison!” The Hellhounds grins grew wider as they shut the doors and Moxxie was sure he heard the slap of a high five. “Are you not being careful enough in the other Rings? You know if you get in trouble I have to get you out of it. And we don’t want that, do we my itty bitty imp?” Stolas punctuated his words with taps between Blitzø’s nostrils. His words were furious but Moxxie could see his expression softening once the doors clicked shut. He had plenty of experience being berated and threatened by Crimson, but he was getting so many mixed signals he didn’t know what to do.

“A job went bad, Master. It won’t happen again.” Despite just having a royal yell at him, Blitzø’s smirk was back. Without guards around he was able to give his companion a double thumbs up while replying. His voice sounded utterly defeated but his posture had perked up.

“Luckily for you, what passes for authority in the Greed Ring isn’t likely to give a shit about a couple of escapee imps. Speaking of which,” four dazzling red eyes locked onto Moxxie. “Who is this that you’ve dragged along?”

“Moxxie got tossed into my cell, I couldn’t just fucking leave him there. He’s a crazy good shot, figured he’d be a good candidate for that project we talked about.”

“Hmmmm,” Stolas seemed to be looking the young imp over. It was hard to tell without any pupils. “We will discuss this later. For now,” the prince continued in a haughty tone, “we need to establish the punishment for your little slip up during your extraneous activities. Both of you, follow me.” Stolas turned, his robe and tail feathers swirling dramatically around him. Moxxie looked nervously in Blitzø’s direction. There was a faint glow under the older imp’s shirt collar as he replied “Yes Master Stolas.” He gestured for Moxxie to follow, not at all concerned about what Stolas might have planned as “punishment.”

Apparently the room they’d been delivered to was the first and most public in the master suite. They entered what looked like a well appointed bedroom with a huge canopied bed adorned with blankets and a nest of deep cushions. There was a bookshelf inset in an alcove next to a chaise lounge and chairs, a small desk, and hints of a bathtub on a raised dais shrouded by curtains. Candles and moonlight made the Goetia emblem glimmer wherever it was stamped or embroidered.

The door locked shut behind them, nearly making Moxxie jump out of his skin. As soon as the door was shut, Stolas swooped down to Blitzø, cupping the imp’s cheeks with a tenderness that made his yelling in the drawing room seems like a hallucination. “Are you alright dearest?” the prince cooed as he stroked Blitzø’s head. “Mmph, I’m fine Stolas, really.” Blitzø’s voice was muffled from Stolas’ talons smushing his face. “Just tired from that last sprint. Almost didn’t make it in time. Fucking Cinderhella bullshit.”

“I’m sorry darling. I’ll keep working on it. I’ve been so worried the past few days.” Apparently satisfied that Blitzø was unhurt, the owl demon moved to nuzzling and preening the imp’s particolor skin.

Blitzø gasped at the soft feathers brushing his neck. “Stolas, if you wanna fuck as part of my “punishment” I’m on board, but I don’t think Moxxie wants to watch.” He looked at the other imp over the prince’s head. His face was flushed and a lazy lascivious smile spread across his lips. “Unless you wanna watch Mox. I’ve always liked an audience.” He waggled his eyebrows; Moxxie couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.

Stolas’ eyes jerked open. He let out a surprised hoot before shooting up to his full height. “Ah! Um, yes, o-of course! We can pick this up later Blitzy.” Blitzy? Within moments Stolas had shifted from a pissed off royal yelling at his property to a flustered loverboy using pet names. “Apologizes for not properly introducing myself earlier.” He bowed with a deep flourish, putting his face eye level to Moxxie. “My name is Stolas, Prince of Ars Goetia.”

Blitzø stretched, popping vertebrae all down his spine and tail. “Didn’t your daddy tell you not to bow to imps?” The same jovial tone Moxxie heard when they first met was back in his voice.

Stolas snorted. “My father, the shit eating bastard that he is, can go fuck himself. Preferably with something full of splinters to join the stick up his arse.” The prince was just as foul-mouthed as Blitzø, with the addition of a fancy vocabulary. He guided Blitzø to the lounge and offered a nearby easy chair to Moxxie. It was built for a Goetia, meaning any imp had to jump to climb up and their feet would dangle childlike once seated. However Stolas produced a step stool from the book alcove, so he could seat himself with more dignity.

“Hi, I’m Moxxie Knolastname.” Hopefully neither of them would recognize the name of one of the Greed Ring’s crime families. “Sir, what the fuck is going on? You didn’t mention any of this before we got to the gates. What was all that about?” Moxxie gestured wildly to the rest of the palace, hoping to indicate everything that had just happened.

“Eh, guess you deserve some explanation. Not the best time but fuck it.” Blitzø rubbed at his forehead, specifically the All Imp Circus brand in the middle. In the space of a blink it changed from a black skull faced heart to a white heart topped by a crown, flanked by decorative lines. “Short version, my dad fucked me over and sold me to the Goetia. His dad,” he jerked a thumb at the lanky owl reclining next to him, “decided to add to the jackassery and bound us.”

“And I am not about to copy his example so I give my darling Blitzy as much free reign as I can manage.” Stolas wrapped his arms and legs around Blitzø with a look of glee. It was simultaneously tender, protective, and possessive. “Unfortunately, members of both my family and staff are quick to spread word to my wilted prick of a father and other members of Ars Goetia, so we maintain a semblance of the master/slave dynamic outside my chambers. Hence, all that.” Stolas vaguely waved in the same direction as Moxxie had before latching back onto Blitzø. “Eugh, Blitzy, you smell awful. That prison cannot have been sanitary. Please get cleaned up dearest, you and… Moxxie, was it? Hopefully we have something clean that will fit you; you’re a bit taller than much of my household staff.”

“I’m sure we’ve got some of my old stuff that’ll work. But seriously Stolas, I couldn’t check on Loonie before this. Can I pop out real qui-”

“Loona is fine.” Stolas interjected with a comforting tone. “I had one of the maids check up on her and the ‘babysitter.’ She let them know you were delayed and offered overtime pay to the young lady.” The maid, one of the few who was loyal to Stolas and Blitzø, relayed that the imp girl, while possessing a distinct country charm, was “thoroughly pissed” at having to watch over an angsty teenager without pay. She’d been all smiles again when informed of the extra money she was being advanced.

Blitzø took a deep breath of relief. He’d adopted the nearly adult Hellhound just a few months ago and they were still getting used to each other. He didn’t know what she’d do on her own yet, hence the babysitter. She was an imp from Wrath he’d gotten to know during the Harvest Festival Stolas had to officiate. She decimated opponents in the Pain Games so Blitzø knew she could handle just about anything.

“Thanks Floof,” he gave Stolas a quick frenching before heading through an inconspicuous door near the bed. He pushed Moxxie along and heard Stolas’ trilling voice call out. “Make sure you put those jumpsuits in the laundry hamper. I look forward to having a little prison bitch around later.” All of Blitzø’s spines stood up at the thought and a tingling warmth raced over him. Not about to let Stolas get the last word, he shot back through the closing door, “I’m sure Mox’s will fit you like those slutty rompers you like to prance around in.” He could hear hooting chuckles from the other room while Moxxie clapped his hands over his head.

—————

Moxxie blinked as the lights flickered on. As if one suite of rooms wasn’t enough, here was essentially an apartment sized for imps. It was much like a studio apartment with one large area for sleeping, eating, relaxing, and a mini kitchen. The furnishings weren’t a match for the rest of the palace, but decent and sturdy. There was a closet and one other door leading to the bathroom. No windows. The only exit was through the master suite. Moxxie started breathing hard as he realized this was basically an upgraded cell.

“Yeah, I know it’s kinda freaky. But it’s one of the safest places in the building.” Blitzø opened the closet and started tossing clothes on the bed. “We set this up after Stolas married that bitchy feather duster. Only people that can get in are me, Stolas, his kid, and one of the maids. Oh, and the people I bring in.” He took the pile of clothes and dropped them on Moxxie. “These are all too small for me now. We could raid the servant’s closets buuuuuuuut…screw that. Now let's see if there’s anything to eat.” A quick look in the fridge produced beers and a comically large cheese wedge. “Oh fuck yes, that woman deserves a raise! Or a good dicking if she wants it again.” Blitzø had the cheese in one hand, a beer in the other hand that was unzipping the prison wear and his tail wrapped around another beer. “You wanna eat before you clean up? There’s more beer, some fried chicken, and I think a salad if you want it.” He stuck out a forked tongue at the thought of vegetables. “Maybe a good enough fuck will get her to stop putting salads in here.”

Food, real food not prison slop, sounded great but a bit of time alone sounded better. “I’ll wash up first sir, I can’t stand this thing anymore.” Blitzø chomped away while giving him another thumbs up. Moxxie caught a glimpse of white scars covering patches of the other imp’s neck, arms, and torso, and what looked like a gold choker at his throat. He closed the bathroom door and dumped the clothes onto a bench. The bathroom wasn’t ostentatious like what he glimpsed in Stolas’s room. It had all the basics in a reasonable size. One thing he did notice was the horse decor. Horses and horseshoes everywhere. The rubber devilduckie was even a cowboy.

It was probably more polite to take a quick shower. Moxxie needed some time to regain his footing though, so he soaked in a bath. He’d been off balance since crossing the gates. Of course, nothing could have prepared him for anything he’d come across here. From everything he’d picked up Blitzø and Stolas were in a shitty situation and trying to make the best of it. It didn’t mean Moxxie had to stick around though.

Yeah, the older imp had broken him out of prison and talked about hiring Moxxie at his new startup. But he also hadn’t mentioned anything about being connected to Hell’s royal families.

Then again, Moxxie hadn’t mentioned his mafia family. He really didn’t want to either. He’d be just fine if his dad thought he died in the prison riot they’d caused during the escape. He could disappear in Pride and leave his own fucked up family behind. Blitzø and presumably Stolas were grateful for his help. Even if he didn’t want to work for them in the end, they probably wouldn’t just kick him to the curb. He wasn’t good at making deals. Crimson hadn’t let him join any important talks yet. But maybe he could leverage some cash out of the pair before finding his own way.

That would have to wait for the morning at earliest. From the sounds of it, Stolas was very enthusiastic about keeping their “appointment” tonight. With at least a glimmer of a plan, Moxxie finished washing and started digging through the clothes. There were a lot of t shirts, tanks, and leather pants. Skinny fit pants at that. Almost all the shirts had some sort of horse design; from one that said “Wild Horse” in messy red letters to one with a trio of sparkly pastel horses rearing under a full moon. Eventually he found a button down with a tailcoat that was pretty close to his normal clothes. It wouldn’t be tailored perfectly but it would do for the morning. For the night he found pajama pants with a horseshoe pattern that he didn’t mind sleeping in. He wasn’t about to sleep nude in a room with a horny couple he barely knew one wall away.

“All yours sir.” Blitzø was flopped on the couch, having finished both the beers and cheese. He was working his way through beer number three, which he took with him to the shower. Moxxie rummaged through the fridge, finding not only what Blitzø had mentioned but the makings of sandwiches and a container of soup. A little more digging around the miniature kitchen and he found various dry goods that would make a decent meal. By the time Blitzø came back he was plating the spaghetti with cheese sauce he’d made. He topped it off with some chopped up fried chicken for some added protein. He made a sizable batch; he doubted a cheese wedge and beer was enough for Blitzø.

Blitzø himself emerged from the bathroom, dressed in horse print boxers (which didn’t hide his slight erection) and a fitted black tank. “Thank fuck, Stolas was right about the stink. Laundry’s gonna have fun with those jumpsuits.” His nostrils flared suddenly. “What the dick? Where’d you get all this Mox?” His eyes were shining at the food and Moxxie could swear he was drooling.

“In your kitchen sir. There’s plenty of dry ingredients for easy meals, probably so you don’t have to disturb the main kitchen during your… ‘appointments.’ I would have liked some mushrooms or fresh herbs for flavoring, the ground and dried ones just don’t quite measure up but I can understand the maid not wanting to have too much perishable food here if your stays aren’t consistent. In any case making a bechamel sauce is fairly simple, it is one of the mother sauces after all and the cheese was perfect for melting into it. I did cheat with the chicken and used the microwave but it works out since there’s not too much cookware here either-“

“Wait wait wait. You made this?” Moxxie nodded. Blitzø yanked open the door and yelled “FLOOF CHECK THIS SHIT OUT MOXXIE CAN COOK!”

There was an undignified squawk before the owl demon cleared his throat. “I hope this is more impressive than the ‘ghetto nachos’ you presented me with.” He had to dip his head to enter the room but once he was in the ceiling was high enough that he didn’t quite brush it with his crest feathers. “Oh! Oh my! That looks delightful! And it smells excellent.” He closed his bottom set of eyelids and inhaled deeply.

“Hey! Ghetto nachos are damn tasty.”

“I’m not saying they aren’t but microwaving processed cheese slices onto tortilla chips does not count as cooking. This on the other hand,” the prince opened his eyes, a pleased expression that had nothing to do with sensuality on his face. “This is incredible. Do I detect some mustard added to the bechamel?”

Moxxie hadn’t expected anyone to notice. “Yes, your highness. With the chicken already being breaded, I felt it would compliment nicely.” He’d never been able to talk to anyone about cuisine before. Everyone at his father’s house had laughed at him. Maybe his mom would have liked to talk about it…

“Please, call me Stolas in private. Might I try a taste?” Moxxie twirled noodles around a fork, making sure both meat and sauce were included. Stolas savored the bite, his eyes closing and his feathers fluffing up. “As delicious as I hoped. As I’ve had dinner already, I won’t keep you from such a well made meal.” He nuzzled the base of Blitzø’s horn before bowing out of the room. “I’ll be waiting Blitzyyyyy.”

Blitzø was already diving headfirst into his plate. “Christ on a stick Moxxie, this is amazing. And that’s not just a week of prison food talking.” How he could taste anything shoveling his food in his mouth that fast, Moxxie didn’t know. He did notice that Blitzø was eating with more enthusiasm than at any other meal they’d shared.

Before Moxxie had more than half his portion, Blitzø was slurping down the last noodle.”That was great, thanks Mox.” He dumped dishes into the sink. Stifling a yawn, he headed back to the master suite. “Make yourself comfortable. Sheets should be clean.” That lascivious grin came back. “Unless watching is the kinda shit you’re into. Stolas’ bed’s big enough for all of us if you feel like joining.” Moxxie nearly choked on his pasta.

A/N: I hope everyone enjoys this! The fic is in process and currently around 25k words so there’s a lot more coming. Next part will open up with NSFW content, heads up.

Next>

#helluva boss #helluva blitzo #helluva stolas #helluva moxxie #blitzo x stolas #stolitz #fanfic #helluva fanfiction #helluva au #writing #hellaverse #mature reading

[charlotteoccasionally]

i’ve read over 100 ky//man fics, here are ones i like ❤️

(WARNING: KY/MAN, OOC, OPINIONS, CRINGE - not the authors, me for spending so much time reading)

To Be Wanted by Verimakea - my most recent fave, i love it smmmmm. it’s a historical western au. kyle is a bounty hunter, cartman is a criminal, they get snowed in and shit progresses. it’s too freaking good. // 56,400 6/6 chapters

Abraham’s Son by Satine89 - this has been a WIP since 2014 but recently updated and OP said they’re planning on finishing by this year so for sure it is a worthwhile read. hunger games au, kyle is a capitol traitor banished to district 12, eric is the 47th games’ victor. kyle and bebe get chosen as this year’s tributes and have to deal with the fear of dying and trying to continue the fight started by eric the year prior. a lot of sad shit happens but it is goooood. very much recommend. // 57,158 23/28 chapters

something about the chase by grossalien- drag cartman au. i LOVE drag cartman. // 11,299, two oneshots

the “Im with stupid” series by numbknee - established kyman relationship. kyle and cartman have only just gotten together and try to navigate their new relationship and the shit that comes with it (plus the crazy way they got together in the first place 😭). it’s just cute and i like it. // four oneshots, 46,099

kyle isn’t anything by suzie_tempest - end of high school romance au. kyle is discovering himself and what he wants right before graduation. cartman plays a big role in that self discovery. it’s rlly cute i like it. // 89,801 12/14 chapters

be still my (virtual) heart by mewtwos - college au. this is for the losers out there who agree with me that the main 4 are losers too and need to be portrayed as such more often in fan works 🙌 kyle is a little rich boy at college who’s completely normal except for the fact that he’s in a parasocial relationship with a v-tuber named erica chan (you’ll never guess who it is 😳) . he’s gotta work on a school project with cartman. the sexting between erica chan and kyle is excruciating and that’s what makes it so good. i love this one and hope it gets more updates in the future cus it’s so funny. // 18,802, 4/? chapters

it was destiny anyways by galaxy_friday17 - i am not a big fantasy person and not into lore heavy fics but this one was rlly frickin good 🥳 was i confused half the time? yes, but it’s my fault cus i’m the type who skims through long paragraphs if there’s no romance 😭 it’s a stick of truth au, angsty as hell with multiple time skips. i recommend // 53,847 19/19 chapters

It could be wrong, could be wrong (But it should've been right) by grossalien - this follows tweek and craig’s povs but it is a kyman fic. basically tweek and craig accidentally become the last straw that ruined kyle and cartman’s first date and cartman haruhi suzumiya’s himself and everyone around him into a time loop until the date goes well. only tweek and craig are aware of the loop and are forced to make the date go well if they want to leave the time loop. it’s rlly good and rlly funny. // 19,843, 6/6 chapters

in a mirror, festively by synapticfirefly- this is a basic rec in the fandom but it rlly is just too good. it’s the perfect mix of funny and smut and genuinely heartfelt with a surprising emphasis on facebook relationship status(?) 😭 it’s a mirrorverse au where cartman is a little bitch who just wants to do his holiday charities and everyone around him is absolutely batshit evil, esp kyle who just wants him to come to his hanukkah party. // 36,337, 10/10 chapters

put out the fire on us by i_already_forgot - i don’t like to recommend unfinished fics bc i don’t wanna get someone disappointed but this fic is genuinely too good to not be recommended. kyle and cartman get pranked by clyde and they accidentally get handcuffed, fall down a waterfall and get stranded in the woods 🤷‍♀️ it’s funnier if i don’t elaborate. they gotta survive and make it out and their friendship develops and it’s so cute and i love it. if op ever posts another chapter i will be jumping up and down. // 139,167, 11/? chapters

if i were honest with you by creamdream98 - imma be fr, this is my fave kyman fic ever. probbo one of my fave fics of all time. i starting reading it from the first chapter and i was SEATEDD for every update. it’s a regular high school au but sum abt it is just so endearing and sweet and makes you root for eric and kyle. like the kiss scene made me audibly cheer out loud. basically cartman is a freak and bc he’s in love with kyle draws weird drawings of him in his notebook AT SCHOOL (i would NEVERRR). stan catches him one day and makes a deal with him that if cartman helps him get wendy, he’ll help cartman get kyle. it’s adorable i’ve reread it like 10 times. highly recommend if you’re into that sorta thing. // 150,655, 19/19 chapters

i have more but i don’t wanna do this anymore ❤️

#kai man #south park kyman #sp #kyman #kyle x cartman #eric cartman is my regrettable fave #the at this point millions of words that i’ve read have rotted my brain

[gothitelleex]

I love Raphael from BG3.

He's a complex character and I absolutely adore every take I've seen and the different prospectives on his character from the fandom.

I also signed the petition for the romance route. But honestly speaking: I want an ending where Tav/Durge/OC gets to decide join him in conquering the 9 layers of hells. I don't even care if it's only as a foot soldier! Or even better, a maid! I honestly would still enjoy it nevertheless.

So. This made me think: what would be like to work under Raphael?

(This is my personal take, so don't come at me please, I have anxiety. Also, I might have gone really deep into the argument in my own way, have mercy.)

(Spoilers under the cut for act 2, 3 and post final boss)

Generally speaking + surviving methods: we get some details from the game already on how Raphael's behaves as a boss. He can be absolutely cruel and straight up torture you if you screw up big time or even small time (or in the case of Hope, he'll keep you in his basement if you don't play along with his whims and refuse to submit). He could scorch your fingers for minimum mistakes (like we read in the house of hope, pardon me I don't remember if it was a diary or not, where he described the performances of the people working under him). What these minimum mistakes could be? For how I see it, it could be when one of his warlocks/debtors are late, or they aren't dressed the part, or they accidentally knocked something down, ect.

Raphael strikes me as the tipe who wants everything to be perfect in his standards at every moment. He also loves to have everything and everyone around him under control, and he is more or less quick to anger; so to survive, the worker would need to be an expert in his mood swings too, and they would need the capacity to dose their words well in some situations. Raphael would want perfection, so the worker should at least be good at covering up their mishap unless they want to join the lemurs.

Would bootlicking work? I think he's not so stupid to not realize when people are sucking up to him, so I believe it could be fine depending on the situation. I also think the bootlicking shouldn't be too obvious or he may think the person in front of him is making fun of him and that could result in death. Or worse: it's hell, who knows what could happen there.

Of course I believe he can be a gentle boss as long as you live up to his standards: something that is almost impossible, and I say almost since Korilla exist. That woman got her fingers scorched a few time and that was it, and I'm pretty sure she's the only one who didn't get punished more severely.

Korilla is the idol of every loyal worker to Raphael, I can bet my soul on that! Everyone who works with her envies her and/or take example from her.

Long story short: if you want to survive while working under Raphael, be Korilla. ʕ　·ᴥ·ʔ👍🏻

Post ending: durge and co have defeated the Nether brain and it's now time to fulfill the deal and give the crown to Raphael.

Now, speaking of the game. I'm going to use Durge because it's my durge Iris that would be crazy enough to sell her soul to be a servant of Raphael. That drow is batshit crazy, but that's a story for another post.

So Raphael comes to collect his crown at Wither's party, and durge not only kneels to give it to him, but they also ask to be granted the honor of working under him in order to see the Archdevil Supreme Raphael's triumph! Raphael would accept and create a new contract, I believe.

Your Durge has accepted Bhaal? No problem! They just have to tell daddy dearest that mortals aren't a worthy sacrifice, so they decided to start their murder spree with devils! Hey, besides it's a war in the hells, there is no place for morality there, so Durge could go crazy without restrain. I believe in this case Raphael wouldn't trust Durge to remain loyal to him and put aside Bhaal's orders, so he would take precautions in any case. Whatever your Durge would want to betray Raphael in the end or not, it would add more spice to the already complicated situation in the hells and in their relationship, whatever it is. I like to think how the situation could lead to a delicious psychological dark romance! In this case I imagine Raphael using every chance to subtly remind Durge who's boss. And unless Durge really enrages him, I don't think he would stop being polite, especially because it was Durge who gave him the crown. My ideal ending if this scenario would be Durge usurping Bhaal and take his place as the God of murder, while also being married to the Archdevil Supreme of the nine hells, Raphael. ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ💅🏻

If your Durge is a resist Durge? In this case things would be less violent and I believe Raphael would be less wary of them in general, tho in the case of a contract, I doubt he would be as kind as he was before when he needed something from them. Now they're his to command, he's not just a simple ally to them anymore. So Durge would need to be Korilla 2.0. And as much I'd like the contrary, I don't think Raphael would have someone work closely under him without a contract. So, yet again, praise Korilla for her existence.

Long story short again: be Korilla. ᕦʕ •ᴥ•ʔᕤ

If you've read everything, just know that I love you🪅

P. S: I would work for him as a maid who cleans just to enjoy all the drama while being in the sideline. Just let me be a random NPC who cleans and secretly simps for their boss lol.

P.p.s: I love you Korilla, please just a chance!

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 raphael #this is a long essay and the point is that i want to be Raphael's personal maid #Korilla is underpaid #bg3 korilla #korilla hearthflame #house of hope #bg3 durge #resist durge #bg3 ocs #bg3 scenarios

[wonjns]

Which wayv members do you find compatible with riize members? If you could match them with each other what would be your pairings?

OOO this is so interesting, and i’m obsessed with both groups so let’s see:

disclaimer: not shipping!!

so right off the bat, my mind goes to winwin and wonbin. my quiet pretty boys are so similar to be not only because of their demeanor and the way everyone dotes on them, but they really hold down the dance line despite not being the main dancers of their groups or getting much attention in that category - they can get down okay don’t play.

next, i’m gonna have to say sungchan would be great with xiaojun. originally, i’d say lucas and sungchan would be the perfect duo without hesitation (tall and loud line go crazy) but, sigh. however sungchan and xiaojun are also pretty similar imo, mostly bc of their mannerisms and appearance. they both initially seem tougher or intimidating but they’re actually sweethearts in disguise and love doting / teasing the other members. they’re also both just sexy as hell. i need them both actually.

i think kun and eunseok would be so fucking funny and quite compatible friends. it would be so awkward to watch them together, but despite their reserved personalities they love to have fun and just watch the others go batshit while always being their to be the hyung everyone can rely on lmao.

now hear me out, seunghan interacting with hendery could be HILARIOUS. i could just be biased but i find seunghan so funny and just utterly lovable. and then we have hendery who is entirely his own brand of crazy lmao. seunghan feeds off of others’ vibes well so seeing them do some chaotic shit could be variety show gold truly.

yangyang and sohee could be so cute, in my humble opinion. they’re both entertaining and have the ability to light up the room. they’re both experts at annoying the other members, but it’s impossible to stay mad at either of them. so if they ever meet, i’m sure it would be a fun time fr.

lastly, to no one’s surprise at all, we have our backbones of both groups — shotaro and ten. dancing gods, adorable smiles, teasing comments, sickeningly sweet behavior, and a very strong sense of influence within their respective groups are all traits these two share. i don’t think they got time to properly interact too much during sungtaro’s time in nct, but they were so cute in that big nct variety show thing.

#💌flwr;reqs #nct x reader #riize x reader #nct fanfic #riize fanfic #kpop imagines #riize imagines #nct imagines #wayv fanfic #wayv imagines #kpop x male reader #kpop fanfic #kpop headcanons #kpop x reader

[chainelunaire]

I have a question to ask? Remember that Carrie Underwood song “before he cheats” How would your Best friend the LOV members? Dabi, Shigaraki, Spinner, (separately) help you get revenge on your cheating EX?

this is fun, thank you for asking!

dabi: i think since he's a bit of an asshole he would at first try to some sort of... tease you about it? he's so nonchalant and aloof about any crap in his life, he assumes everyone around him are the same. well, it sure does sound like he's straight up mocking you, so when he sees how much this whole situation truly hurts you he finally stops. he doesn't like seeing you in pain, he claims that he doesn't care, but yeah he does. also, out of the three he's the best companion for a revenge. don't get me wrong, he'll happily help, but he won't do anything himself. this has some deeper meaning actually rather than his laziness. he believes it is important to not take the satisfaction from you, he knows the importance of this firsthand. this revenge is yours to take, it's your moment of pride. it's his gift for you, if you will. he'll help with planning everything tho. he's calculating and calm when he needs to be; very patient and can teach you a thing or two about waiting for the exactly right moment. sometimes he's almost too slow for your liking, but on the other hand everything he'd planned for you goes exactly like he predicted, so you better listen. due to his sadistic nature, he's not above playing with the victim, and he will teach you that too. big fan of creating suspense, some sort of pressure. like those old hollywood noir films come to mind. he will absolutely help to scare your poor ex from the shadows, slowly driving him crazy with anxiety. not only is he proud of your dark side shining so brightly, but he really finds it fun. depends on you, if you want for things to get really violent or not, but he'll at least try to persuade you to let go and enjoy the ride. and if you listen to him, things can get messy (only slightly, bc dabi really enjoys clean work and he's too lazy to go after anybody else than this scumbag). shigaraki could be annoyed for a day or two, but... actually, no, he won't be pissed at all. great job you two.

shigaraki: oh. he's beyond excited. not because of your suffering, of course, but bc now The Real Game begins. has his own ways to comfort you, the most obvious one being trashing you ex with the most degrading insults you may only think of. will never let you think that was your fault, he literally feels his blood boil every time he hears something like that. you don't even have to ask him to help you, one day he's suddenly in your room with an insanely throughout plan and most batshit crazy glimmer in his eyes, so you better take the chance while you can. he finds great joy in helping you by planning everything for you, it really is a new game to him. but this time he's doing it for a friend, for someone he finds dear, so he kinda wants to take the burden off your shoulders. unlike dabi, he will get involved directly in this mess, he doesn't think he's taking anything from you - quite the opposite. he's given you the opportunity. and, he probably won't admit it, but he's really willing to do all the work for you, if it's too painful for you now. he doesn't want to, but he could. buuut, he'd still rather wait (even though he's not a fan of waiting) and you do the main act yourself. he's not patient at all tho. he also prefers the revenge to be fast and brutal. not a fan of theatrics, he's a straight to a point kind of guy. also, unlike dabi, he absolutely will go after every single one person involved, jesus christ even your ex's parents included, this whole thing gets soooo messy omg. at some point it really feels like the whole city knows you were cheated on. he doesn't find it embarrassing at all, there's nothing to be ashamed of. at the very end, you'll be the one who's having the last laugh, so he's kinda right. whether you like it or not, things will get really violent when he's involved, and he won't stop until the last person who had offended you is down. he's like a hell hound, some sort of a death reaper. and even if your ex thinks he can escape, because he's the last in shigaraki's list, well... not really. no one can run away from shigaraki tomura, and in the end you find great satisfaction in this knowledge.

spinner: the only decent one who at least tries (once) to convince you not to do it. he does this mostly on autopilot, because he's a considerate friend. he feels nothing towards that shithead, but he's worried that you would regret it later. actually, the only one that expresses his worries about you to you, verbally. he's surprisingly good at communicating his feelings, and he feels awful for you, he really-really does. he doesn't want to make it even worse (even though he really wants to throw some particularly heavy things at some faces). when he's finally sure you won't change your mind, he's all about business. he's not a big fan of a bloodbath, but he believes in power public humiliation holds. sadly, he knows it firsthand. he's very meticious with all the blackmail and he's great with timing. the cleanest work one could imagine (only dabi compares, but he has understandably more experience). he too is great in driving your ex crazy with anxiety, but in a much more subtle way. he won't scare anyone directly, but his actions create a very negative, anxious environment to your ex. the whole thing is building up rather slowly, but consictently. if you want things to go a little more bloody, spinner may ask dabi or shigaraki for help actually, without revealing the main reason. it's still less messy if the whole gang was involved, but now it's definitely much scarier for your ex. he will set traps and will get your ex recorded, he will collect every piece of information he could find, and he will reveal it at the right moment. he's not above some fake leaks either - everything will work. he would definitely make sure that almost everyone in city knows your ex's dirty laundry. it's so not pretty in general, bc believe it or not, spinner is great at understanding people and how they think and behave. he knows that the crowd is always hungry and all he needs to do is to throw it a bone. it may even look like he's not done much, because it's your ex's surroundings who are tearing him apart, not you or spinner. as i said, he's not at all as sadistic as those two above, but he too will find some sick sort of enjoyment at the end. he really, really knows how it feels, and he knows very well that death can feel like a much more merciful option. living with such hate is a lot harder, than just dying, and spinner just proved you that.

#bnha #mha #bnha headcannons #mha headcanons #bnha imagines #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha general #dabi x reader #shigaraki x reader #spinner x reader #dabi #shigaraki tomura #spinner #dabi headcanons #shigaraki headcanons #spinner headcanons #bnha requests

[what-gs-watching]

“Cease and desist, bitch!”

News flash friends: job hunting is still terrible. Like, four months in and it’s still the worst. I finished two interview loops recently and I’m waiting to hear back and I have two others I’m trying to get through and it’s all hurry up and wait.

But then Netflix told me that GIRLS5EVA was coming to the platform, complete with a new season, and I got soooo excited. 

I’m sure no one has heard of this show, it was born on Peacock and it’s a Tina Fey joint but there’s definitely a super specific audience for it which is, basically, me. 

Were you born in the 80’s/early 90’s? Did you love all the random girl groups/boybands? Are you now barreling toward 40 and it’s just really depressing and terrible? Then Girls5eva is also for you. 

Wherein, four millennial women decide to reunite their early 2000’s girl group after their one-hit wonder is sampled on a new hip hop track. 

It’s hilarious. And really specific. And starring SARA BAREILLES who in real life is an incredible musician. Y’all remember “Gravity”? No? Even though it was featured in a Community episode where Annie cuts to a montage because she’s  trying to convince everyone that she and Jeff have had a ‘will-they-won’t-they’ thing going on all year? “Gravity” is the theme of that montage!

While you’re checking out Girls5eva, also listen to Sara Bareilles. The girl is a true fucking talent. 

ALSO, Busy Philipps. I LOVE Busy Philipps. And have loved her since Dawson’s freakin’ Creek and then AGAIN in Cougartown. 

(Side rant - Cougartown really is a wonderful show. Terrible name, but honestly incredibly funny and there are a ton of good running jokes and it’s just fun as hell. Courteney Cox got shagged on that one, it really is a gem.)

Anyway. There are 3 seasons and it follows the ladies valiantly trying to make a comeback while dealing with being normal people again after their brief shot at fame in the early 2000’s. Which, I think we all remember fondly but was actually a pretty gross time and the show makes sure you remember that - it was not great for women by any means and it’s still not great now but Girls5eva make it work. And it’s endearing.

And y’all, some of the songs are a fuckin’ bop. BPE? Aka “Big Pussy Energy” (the club remix) is the anthem we all need right now. “Kick down the doors no locks / I don't need a key / Eyes down here, yeah, I'm the centerpiece / Animal queendom feline synergy / Kickin’ down the doors, big pussy energy!” That shit gets you in the right frame of mind. I need more semi-cheesy female anthems in my life and I’m pretty sure you do too. 

Honestly, the show is really just about the fact that life doesn’t have to end after your 20’s, you can keep going after your dreams even if they’re ridiculous. And you can balance your regular shit while you do it. And you don’t need a man to define who you are. And you can leave toxic relationships if you need to. And you can grow as a person. And you can still be a crazy bitch sometimes and your friends will support you.

There’s a lot going on, and it’s all wonderful. Honestly, we need more shows about olderish female friends, with a touch of insanity. I don’t want regular female friends, I want batshit female friends doing ridiculous things. 

Also, lastly, Wickie Roy is a fucking icon. In a weird way because she’s struggling to live in a normal world and she refuses to compromise and she’s an absolute nutbag but in the best way possible. 

Basically, Girls5eva is making me feel better about my life. If they can get back into pop music, I can get myself another boring job and BPE is gonna help me get it done. 

“Momentum yeah / um it’s our moment / we’re contenders…”

#what g's watching #girls5eva #wickie roy #sara bareilles #famous5eva #BPE