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#But that's still funny as shit that they mentioned THAT in the video
l0ganberry · 2 months
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wait.....
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OH No......
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oetscop · 1 month
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i think one of the worst things bird facebook groups did to me was convincing me that giving your bird seeds EVER is abuse and like feeding a human child mcdonalds every day.
you wanna know what wild budgies eat? A SHITLOAD OF GRASS SEEDS! yes they eat fruit and other vegetation but their role in the damn outback is to eat as stupidly as possible so they make a huge mess and spread seeds around. if i gave my birds just pellets and veg theyd be missing important nutrients. ffs
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ssaalexblake · 2 years
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the haunting of villa diodati is so unfairly slept upon 
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timeisacephalopod · 1 year
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On a total side note tangent I will say I didnt read Heard's piece that Depp sued over defaming him but if I have my facts straight she didn't even name him in the piece she wrote so like if he read "I became the face of domestic violence" and came running out screaming "you're defaming me!" it was weird that everyone read that as Heard defaming Depp and not as a confession of domestic violence from Depp?? Like I don't know many people who would be so offended their ex said they were in an abusive relationship that they'd come running out of the woodwork to claim they were the unnamed ex that was written about and they were the victim of a hit piece that never mentioned them by name?
Sounds more like he intentionally used the legal system to further abuse his victim and it's really god damn weird that it took uncomfortable texts from Depp to Marilyn Manson of all fucking people for people to realize the guy who was really willing to say he was the unnamed abusive ex was, in fact, abusive.
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falloutdilf · 1 month
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in case you’re wondering how i’m holding up i do start randomly weeping like 3 times a day bc i start thinking about fall out boy
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fics-lovebot · 6 months
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jujutsu kaisen recs
main masterlist
pls remember to reblog if you like any of my recs, luv you and thank you in advance❤️
WHY ARE ALL OF THEM SO FUCKING GOOD????????! pls tRUST me
gojo
gojo eating you out
gojo x dacryphilia
gojo loves fat pussy
sending gojo an accidental nude so he sends you a whole video
car sex with gojo
gojo being goofy in an elevator full of people - he´s big on PDA
gojo tried to give himself a haircut and now wants to go bald - this is fuNNY ksksks, I love the banter
trying to break up with yandere!gojo - yep, we´re talkin about lovesick toxic obsessed type of gojo, break up????? you know better than to tell him that sooo since you´re acting dUMB he has to fucc so sense into you bc clearly you forgot who tf ur talking to - LDKJSDFJDJFHLSHFLSHDF but he´s not rough bc he luvss you a lot
gojo is the pussy fairy - fwb, he´s your sneaky link when henessy makes you act up. he got a mf tongue piercing bYEE
insecure bully!gojo - angst, lil fluff, he´s a bully but he´s in love with that, but it´s not enough. part 2
the horniest - smut, ITS SO GOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD, he´s horny af, pussy drunk, obsessed, borderline crazy for that wap
phone calls - slice of life, hubby!gojo, dilf!gojo, his wife and his daughter are his only priority, this is so sdkfjskdjfh :´( i love it
cherished moments - clanleader!gojo, hubby!gojo who is a softy for his wife, #simp
family moments - fluff, slice of life, this is so wholesomeee, bf!gojo meeting your parents for the first time, i love it
someone older - smut, rich dilf!gojo, big age gap, big dicc too, talks big shit as well, "what do you do when your boyfriend cheats? you go to his house and fuck his dad" I MEAN- skdfhksdf
best of the best - smut, fwb! satoru, big sHIT talker omg, he lit asks you to be his gf wHILE he´s making you cum,,,,,best bf ever tho
love struck - fluffy, ex-fuckboy!satoru, he´s experiencing love for the first time :((((( IT´S SO CUTEEEEEEEEEE
love dumb - fluff, blurb, you make him lose his composure, can´t even focus bc you´re over there existing, someone should make a longer version of this! so good
too much - ANGSTTTYYYY, fluff too, reader and gojo are in a situationship kinda thing where they live together and love each other but nothing has been said yet, they get into an argument bc gojo has a big mouth and says a lot of hurtful things, they´re both just so exhausted
i know you still think about the times we had - angst, fluff, rich bf!gojo, his father makes you break up with him, it´s so angsty omg, they get into this HUGE argument bc gojo´s dad is a controlling mf
sanctuary - fluff, lowkey angst, weak!reader, bully!gojo, nah he´s just in love but doesn´t know how to say it
the road to falling in love - fluff, strangers to lovers, it´s a collection o moments where keeps falling harder for you, I LOVE ITTTTT, sdkfjhskdjf it´s kinda slow burn but not boring at all
loving you - fluffy af, "you’re the apple of his eyes; the love of his life. the only one who matters" ME N WHO???? pls this made my want to cry my heart out
yuji finds out gojo has a family - fluff, lowkey angst, hubby!gojo, dad!gojo, so,,, this made me cry, i love yuji sm he deserves the world :( this is part two and it also made me crY MY MF EYES OUT :))))))))
i´ll meet you forever in this memory - fluff, college au, married life au, it´s so good, he lit has this big ass plan to make you fall for him, and i mean big, like planned way ahead lmao, 10 years later he´s still asking you to go out with him,,,,even if you´re already married sdlfkjkdfhlsdjh so so cute
can´t stop drinking - ANGST, death, blood, dad!gojo, husband!gojo, mentions of wanting to die, a curse kills you and your son allegedly but in reality the elders had lied to him all these years, part 2 made me fucking cry, PLEASEEE I NEED PART 3
hype man - crack, fluff, supportive bf!gojo, he´s such an amazing bf :(, “damn, my girl ran you over with a bus, reversed, then got out and shot you twice in the foot? what did you do?? sounds like a you issue.” LMAOOOOO this is so cute and funny at the same time, i love it, such a gojo thing to say
flicker of flame - fluff, nervous soon to be dad!gojo, pregnant!reader, he´s going to be the best dad ever
nanami
when you break up and make up - nanami divorce au, angst
dorm room escapades - smut, dad´s bestfriend!nanami, age gap, GAWWDD DAMNNNN, daddy kink, this is some good stuff
you ask him to fuck you like a whore - its a short one but me likey
nanami drabbles - pwp, pls yall readdd part 2 and part 3
nanami is strong af - short blurb, smut, sdflksjd this got me giggling and shii
fifteen minutes - “Say that again. Louder. Can’t hear shit with the sound of my dick slapping into your cunt.” that´s all I have to say, your honor
protective - headcanon, hubby!kento, i love thissss
swear it´s just right for you - smut, fluff, hubby!nanami, I´m weaaaak, he´s so husband material
stressed after work - boyfriend! kento, a cute lil drabble bc he loves your mere presence
labour of love - fluff, vanilla smut, lowkey angst if you´ve been keeping up with the manga/anime, loving hubby!kento, SO DOMESTIC, love making, :(
losing his mind - smut, dom!reader, hubby!kento, sub!kento, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW, 10000/10, now this is new
his protégé - fluff, slice of life, fiancé!kento, dinner time with yuuji, it´s so wholesome :´)
my future is with you - fluff, unexpected angst, this is SICKKKKKKK, the last senteces is fucking sickening, and NOT in a good way, so fucking wrong for that, I litteraly wanna dIE
tie my tie, marry me - fluff, slice of life, "the moment nanami knew he never wanted to tie his tie by himself ever again and wanted to spend the rest of his life by your side" please just do yourself a favor and READ THIS
putting you in your place - smut, reader is gojo´s brat little sister, mean!nanami, BRAT TAMER!NANAMI, HEAVY degradation, “Maybe this was your fucking goal all along. To have me ruin you on my cock and fuck the attitude out of you.” CALL 911
edging - smut, pwp, fluff, this,,,,this is one the BEST nanami smuts out there, i just know the description of the whole thing is 100% accurate, the details, the way this is written, the visuaLSsss ldskjfhjsalfh go read it pls
married man - fluff, work au, HE IS A PROUD HUSBAND OK, the man was just waiting for somebody to say sOMETHING sljsdhfl now he can´t stop bragging about his perfect wife
toji
toji x size kink
toji x pussy spanking ´till you´re squirting - the title says it all,,, he´s MEAN
toji doing push ups with you on his back - you´re basically a rag doll,,,bc wdym he puts you in a fULL NELSON??
toji gets embarrased - the man WHIMPERED bc the riding was gewdd so reader kinda teases him for it, how dare she right? so now he has to make her pAY bc he aint no bitch
silk sheets n sticky cum - toji can´t control himself when he sees you in a nightgown so he uses you as a cum dump,,, in a very romantic way flsjdflkssldfjlsdfh, breeding kink
toji x overstimulation - fINALLY he got what he deserved, reader got him WHIMPERING, body shaking eyes rolling to the back of his head and everythangggg, I'm here for it.
take it lil princess - toji got me fucked up, straight up size kink like FRRRR he wants to break, bend and basically snap you in half (i´ll let him tbh), daddy kink, he got a big dicc as aLWAYS, the degRADING DIRTY TALKKK???? yes. he talks and talks and tALKS. there´s a lot going on yall
mine - toji mixed with monster!porn,,, nothing else to say- HE´S A WEREWOLfff, mean asf, breeding kink, daddy kink, size kink, it´s nasty
jealous daddy - slice of life, dilf!toji, megumi is a baby, toji and megumi create a plan to keep you away from megumi´s kindergarden teacher lmaooo, its so cute
nyphomaniac - smut, nypho!reader, dom!toji, THERE´S A WHOLE LOTTA STUFF GOING ON HEREE, just read it omg
family man - fluff, soft dad!toji, baby megumi, husband!toji, he´s a softie for his son and his wife ;(
unprecedented reveal - smut, fluff, mma!toji, journalist!reader, lowkey angst, "photo leaks of toji going down on you in public is suddenly exposed for everyone to know about the infamous fighters girlfriend" wELL dssdfh that´ll do it
will always be yours - smut, fluff, so basically toji only does rough sex, doggy style being his fav, but when it comes to you he prefers the loving-face to face-intense eye contanct type of sex (more like love making) bc being with you makes him feel ten different emotions at once :) DÑFLJSLDFJ
unspoken memories - fluff, lowkey angst, dad!toji, baby!megumi, married life, my heart is so full after reading this, it´s so domestic, so adorable, such a happy read
make a mess on his face - smut, toji is a messy pussy eater, that´s it, that´s the tweet
geto
gimme, gimme more - rich!geto x stripper!reader, lots of plot and build up, he is misteriousssss and fucking filthy and so cuTE??????? wtf, the wating game is real, he knows how to play his cards very well, LAWDD HAVE MERCY i would have folded too
gripping the headboard with one hand - smut, “what a slut.” hELP
protective hubby - teacher!suguru, pregnant wife oc, it´s cutee
focus - suggestive, flirty!geto, tutor!geto, “you’re doing so good for me… keep going.” I HATE ITTTTTTTT, i would fold like a mf lawn chair bitch OOF
dress shopping - very suggestive, WHY IS HE SO SMOOTH WITH IT ALL THE TIME??? got me blushing and sweating and shit
phoque - crack, teacher!suguru, twin girls dad!suguru, he accidentally curses in front of his daughters and now he´s gotta make up some bullshit story to save his ass, SLFHSLDKJHSLDH this is funny
choso
picture perfect - smut, photographer choso, he´s lowkey a perv, jacks off to oc´s pictures
suckig souls - smut, succubus oc, somnophilia, sub! choso, lil dacryphilia, love love love love it
meanie - smut, mean!choso, “Why you actin’ like some dick-starved whore? I fucked you good this morning" THE WAY I SCREAMEDDDDDDDD “Is that what you needed, princess? Some good dick?" STOOOOOOOOOPPPP
your pleasure - smut, squirting, choso discovers the magic of eating pussy :))))) aND he´s a fucking natural too like ???? gTFO
it´s too much - smut, dom!reader, inexperienced!choso and sub!chose fics are like crack to me, i´m obsessed, this is so detailed, he is eager to please sdlfjls and wants to try it all at once
fingers in his hair - smut, chose loves having his hair pulled when he´s eating pussy,,,,,,,CALL A MF AMBULANCE a bitch just died
cherry blossoms - smut, virgin!choso, phone sex, it´s his first orgasm yall, not yuji talking about a "sloppy toppy" LSJFHLSJDFHLFDH he´s so outta pocket
sukuna
itadori
vivid fantasies - smut, sukuna wants to bone you and he makes it yuji’s problem sakfhkshfksfd poor yuji
poly / multiple versions
gojo and geto are rich besties and they coax you into a poly relationship - smut
you slap their ass - reaction. gojo, geto, sukuna, nanami, choso, toji, megumi, itadori, yuta
too much for them to handle - toji and gojo version. it´s a LOT going here as well. gojo is a whole swiTCH. toji is a bully in the sheets so you know he´s all abou that degrading teasing dirty talk, we love it
slut him out - gojo, geto, nanami and toji version. y'know what,,,idek what to say about thi- IT´S NASTY FILTHY JUST PORN, reader is a whOre (not my words), read at your own risk bc i was SHOOk
how jjk men like it - smut, the gojo and toji one,,, i HATe it hereee
bimbo bunny - smut, choso, toji and nanami version, the vISUALs I GOT FROM THE NANAMI ONE LAWDDDD
birthday boy - smut, birthday sex, dacryphilia, i just KNOWWWW this is geto
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orcelito · 2 years
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The new fire emblem's protagonists Do kinda look better with fanartists. But I just hate how they look in the actual game. They look so ridiculous and incongruent within their own designs. It's so glaring, it will probably be hard to ignore in-game.
#speculation nation#i also kinda hate the style in general. it's way too anime.#which yes i know this is an anime game but listen. there's tasteful anime and then there's bug-eye anime. this is the latter.#apparently the protagonists were designed by someone who designed a vtuber. and im not surprised.#but also so fucking annoyed by it. vtubers r supposed to be Extra by nature of the medium#but a main title video game??? come on.#i miss the art style of echoes. still my fav fire emblem game for the art the music the tactics the storyline. everything.#b4 i saw this game i saw someone mention 'weeb pandering games' and i was just like. just bc it's a jrpg doesnt mean it's weeb shit#but.... this game kinda does feel like that lol. the most ridiculous parts of anime. it feels so trashy.#i hate how they move in the video we got of gameplay. hate how soulless their big eyes are.#the tactics will probably still be fun. and i'll still probably play it. but HOO boy the appearance of the game leaves much to be desired.#i know there r ppl who do like their designs. they Are fun/funny. i just hate how they look in general lol#they really mixed like roy and marth's color bases and called it a day without thinking about how it actually looked.#ughhhhh im still so bothered by this all. why is this what we've been given. it makes me exasperated to be a fire emblem fan.#PLUS THEM SUMMONING PREVIOUS HEROES???? come on. we dont need another fire emblem heroes.#we dont need shallow ghosts of our old favorites there just to be fun collectables and fight our battles#they deserve their fucking peace. they fought for it. they earned it. leave them the fuck alone.#god so much of this game annoys me. and yet im gonna be that stupid bastard that still buys and plays the game. ugh.
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gendercomsumer · 2 months
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hiii ^^ I would like some headcanons for riddle, malleus, vil and rook with a fem mc that accidentally ends up making them laugh (because what she says or does is very random xd maybe an example would be like jennifer lawrence sjjs she is very funny ) well that's all, thanks and take care <3
Riddle, Malleus, Vil, and Rook with an S/O who can make them laugh with the most random things
A/N: Hello to you too Anon! I know this has been in my inbox for gods knows how long- But thank you still for sending this in! I hope this is to your liking! I actually did watch some Jennifer Lawrence videos for inspiration and I have to agree the comedic timing she has is perfect!! I also used some google translate in Rooks part so it may not be accurate ^^;
Characters: Riddle, Malleus, Vil, and Rook
Warnings: Cursing to a mild degree, playful mention of stalking in Rooks (I love him I swear!!!), lightly proof read
Fem!Reader
Riddle Rosehearts
Riddle is a bit difficult to get a good genuine laugh out of, at least in my opinion.
Like sure you have a small chuckle when he finds something amusing, but i feel like it'd be a bit of a challenge to get a good genuine laugh out of.
Then you came in, saying the strangest things at the most unrelated times!
And Ace and Deuce find this absolutely hilarious
You'll say the most out of pocket shit with the straightest face and somehow half the people around you start to laugh some others breaking out in giggles
Ace and Deuce have definitely talked about this 'talent' of yours, at least in their words.
You had said some of these strange comments around Riddle and he found them strange a bit endearing as well
I'd think the time you got a good laugh out of him was when you had come with him to take care of some of the hedgehogs
The two of you were sitting in the grass some of the hedgehogs were playing while a few had decided that climbing on the two of you was a good way to pass the time
One had wandered up onto your head and almost fell off but luckily you were able to save the little guy before he fully hit the ground
After Riddle worriedly checked the little guy over you while looking over his shoulder at the small animal said:
"Well at least we know this one has no self preservation"
Unwillingly, or maybe subconsciously, a small laugh makes it's way through Riddles chest to his lips.
Well, now maybe he saw what those two were blabbering on about
Your little comments were always appreciated with Riddle
Even if they didn't cause him to laugh they did brighten his mood at least somewhat
"Yes, this one does tend to be a bit of a handful. Reminds me of a certain rose I know"
He teased before you two fell back into the pattern of caring for the small animals
More chuckles and comments to come no doubt
Malleus Draconia
At first Malleus didn't understand why the rest of Diasomnia found your remarks so comical
Yes his child of man did tend to bring a certain warmth where ever she walked
But he didn't see this as an excuse for the amount of laughter you cause people around you
Most of the remarks you make will fly over his head
I'm sorry but he seems like the kind of guy to not get the joke until you explain it to him-
Now the Thorn Prince does share a few chuckles with those around him when he finds something amusing, similar to Riddle
But it's even more difficult to get a laugh out of him considering he doesn't get a lot of the play on words type of jokes
but something abrupt and slightly out of context?
I feel like that would get some sort of laugh out of him
One day you were talking with Malleus about some of the things you did in your old world
The topic of amusement parks came up and you started listing the rides you used to go on as a child
Roller coasters, bumper cars, lazy rides where you could relax, until you blanked on the name of a ride
It was frustrating considering it was probably something simple and you would remember it after their conversation, but you wanted to keep the ball rolling
Malleus mean while was partly enjoying seeing how frustrated you got over a simple word
You really were a strange thing weren't you Child of man?
"I'm sorry Mal- I know what I'm thinking of! It's on the tip of my tongue- It's like one of those horse tornado things!"
Horse.. tornado..?
Now that got Malleus attention
he understood the other rides you described, favoring the lazy rides
but what ever this horse tornado was... it sounded.. strange, yet curious at the same time
"CAROUSELS!! FUCKING CAROUSELS, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE CALLED!"
Malleus let out a small puff of air before he started chuckling under his breath
You truly were a strange one weren't you child of man, just like the world you came from
Malleus pressed a kiss to your forehead letting out one more chuckle before speaking
"Truly fascinating, maybe one day you could bring me to one of these 'horse tornados' you have me interested"
Sure jokes your fly over his head, but he would tease you some what for your small skips in memory
Vil Schoenheit
Now Vil, having acted in a lot of movies, (If I'm correct) Would have probably had a few good laughs in that line of work
Weather that be on set or behind the cameras
But he doesn't often let out a good laugh in public, it's not really part of the proper image he'd want to put out there
As for behind closed doors or with close friends he's definitely willing to have a laugh
And who better to bring a smile to his face than his lovely sweet potato?
Though one good moment always stuck out to him that caused him to have one of the most genuine laughs in awhile
The two of you were getting ready to go out to a fancy restaurant, courtesy of Vil of course, hair, makeup, shoes things like that
While Vil was sitting at his vanity working on his eyes when you came out of the bathroom in a stunning dress hand picked by Vil
It brought out all your best features while still being enough coverage to where it wasn't uncomfortable to wear into a public area
The two of you made idle conversation as you sat on a near by chair to slip on a matching set of heels for the dress
As you stood up in the heels to work on your own makeup you lost your balance thanks to the new height the heels provided
Although Vil was quick to catch you making sure you came no where near the floor he still was concerned
"Oh sweet potato are you alright? What happened?"
Yes looking back on it the question seemed dumb but he was concerned
but you just let out a giggle while regaining your balance before saying:
"Well I'm not sure what happened, but I remember wanting to yell 'fuck' as my last words before I embarrassed myself"
Vil took a moment while looking at you
then a chuckle escaped his lips which soon turned into the two of you sharing a small laugh
Now Vil doesn't know why he laughs at your antics, in hindsight they're just normal phrases
But maybe it's the delivery?
Or the way you smile at him?
What ever it may be it always causes a smile to grace his lips or a chuckle to be drawn from him
Sure Vil maybe all about preserving beauty and making sure he looks flawless
But if he happens to get a few smile lines because of your antics, he will never hold it against you
"Well my darling, I'm glad to hear you're alright. It would be a shame if you or your lovely dress got roughed up before we left. Now come, you still want to do your makeup don't you? Allow me to help"
Rook Hunt
Now Rook has plenty of laughs in his life
Weather that be from stalking some poor soul or a genuine laugh among friends
Rook out of the four is probably the easiest to get a laugh from
He's a joyful guy wanting to see all nature and the world has to offer! Can you blame him?
Then enters you who some how can't help but leave Rook giggling when ever you do something!
You put your tie on wrong? Oh silly Trickster aren't you just the sweetest thing!
Then comes your words which to Rook is a whole new ball park
Rook tends to hold onto every word meant for him, weather that be written or spoken out loud
His darling Tricksters words are so elegant and so sweet how could he not treasure everyone!
What really gets him chuckling and laughing is the moments when your words aren't as sweet and graceful
Cut to one day when you and Rook were in the fields often used for flying class
Rook had a desire to teach you archery so he happened to drag you along with a quiver and bow to some targets set by his hand
After the first few moments of Rook teaching you how to properly hold and aim the bow and making sure your arm guard was secure (He wouldn't want his darling trickster to get rope burn!) He let you shoot
All was going well as you hit targets in an... acceptable way
But all that seemed to end when a large gust of wind sent your best shot yet off course and into the ground
And just as Rook was about to offer some encouragement to keep going and try once more
some colorful language came from you to say the least
"Wind!? Really!?! Could you not wait two fucking minuets!! Nooooo! You just had to thro my best shot off course you-!"
Now don't get Rook wrong he hold the sweet words you two share close to his heart
But there was just something about you yelling at the wind of all things that caused him to start laughing
As he laid on the grass of the field eyes closed as he laughed
Oh? It seems your colorful language is directed towards him now? Even better!
"Trickster- reine de mon coeur! Please I believe- I believe you have shared plenty enough words with the wind today!"
A/N: This is actually the first time I've taken a good look at the name of Malleus' dorm. Dia = Dragon. Somnia = Sleep
Diasomnia = Dragon of sleep
just a ting i found silly :)
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querenciasturniolo · 8 months
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Could you do one where Matt and reader have been dating for like, a year and reader has been in multiple vlogs and car videos, and the fans love her. So, when the internet starts going crazy speculating that Matt has a girlfriend, they do a podcast about reader and Matt's relationship and they're flirting the whole time, Nick and Chris can't stand it, jokingly, but put up with it. So, when they release the pod episode, the fans go crazy, and Matt and reader are just openly flirting with each other online and it's all just so cute and fluffy. If you can't, I completely understand. I hope you have a wonderful day and / or night! <3
sick ⮕ m.s.
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word count: 759
warnings: swearing, mentions of kissing, scooby-doo reference
summary: request
a/n: this was so fucking cute, i loved writing it
everything written is completely fictional. the people i write for are written with characteristics and mannerisms that i made for them, this is in no way depicting what would actually happen in real life.
“Good morning campers, welcome to the Cut the Camera Podcast. I’m Nicolas Sturniolo.”
You glanced over at Matt, eyeing his side profile as he tightened his arm around your shoulder and pulled the mic towards him. It was your fault the secret came out when it did, you made googly eyes at him every chance you got, and he knew every single time.
“I’m Matthew Sturniolo.” He said, looking down at you with furrowed brows and a soft smile.
“And I’m gonna be sick.” Chris said, your jaw dropping in amusement as you whipped your head towards him. He laughed into the mic and shrugged his shoulders. “It isn’t my fault you’re staring at Matt like the sun shines out of his ass.” He said.
You rolled your eyes and pulled your mic close to you. “And what about it?” You shot back, Matt scoffing and running a hand over his face.
“Well, I guess that is one way to start the topic. Why don’t we go ahead and introduce our special guest, Matt?” Nick prompted, Matt uncovering his face and adjusting his headphones. He looked into one of the cameras and smiled, looking back down at you. “Go ahead.”
You cleared your throat and looked into the camera, pulling your mic towards your face and sighing into it. “If you don’t know me, I’m Y/n. I’ve known these losers for a couple of years now.” You said, turning your head and smiling at Matt. “And dating this specific loser for a little over a year, and if it wasn’t for you meddling kids, we could have gotten away with keeping it a secret for a little longer.” Your eyes met the camera again with raised eyebrows and an amused smile. “No, in all seriousness, it’s funny the way everyone found out.” You said.
Matt chuckled and shook his head. “So, basically, this podcast episode is talking about how we met Y/n, how she somehow got stuck with Matt, and how you all figured out the secret.” He said, his fingers tapping against your arm lightly from where his hand was draped over your shoulders.
“And Nick and I are going to try and keep our food down while we’re at it.” Chris said. You rolled your eyes and adjusted your mic.
“Chris is just jealous, don’t listen to him.” Nick said, Chris scoffing into his cup. You threw your head back and laughed, grateful that the microphone only picked up the slightest sound of the raucous noise.
The pod went by smoothly, the four of you bouncing off of each other with jokes and stories that all of you loved. One particular story, you noticed, the fans were editing like crazy.
“Look at this.” Matt said, holding his phone so you could see it from where your head was laid in his lap.
“That isn’t how it happened!” Matt exclaimed, the camera panning to Chris rolling his eyes, and then back to you with your face in your hands to hide your embarrassment.
“That abso-fuckin-lutely is how it happened. You were walking Y/n out, and I ran downstairs to remind her to bring her camera the next day, and I caught you kissing her goodnight! Don’t tell me what I remember, that shit still haunts my nightmares.”
The edit continued, more clips of Chris rolling his eyes at the camera and laughing in slow motion to a song you couldn’t recognize.
You sighed and looked up at Matt. “Out of all of the stories we told on how Nick and Chris found out, that isn’t the one I’d expect to be blowing up.” You said, pressing the comments icon and smiling at all of the sweet things being said about your relationship.
“I mean, it is probably the funniest story we told, Chris was more animated than he’d been in a long time.” Matt said, liking the Tiktok and locking his phone. With his hands free, he traced mindless designs on your arm with his fingertips, and ran his other hand through your hair.
You hummed and closed your eyes, completely relaxing onto the couch. “I saw one the other day, and it was a gag counter. I think Chris hit like thirty before the end of the pod.” Matt said, a huff of air leaving your nose as you grinned and looked up at him.
“There’s no way it was less than fifty, it was ridiculous.” You said, Matt laughing softly above you and shrugging his shoulders.
“Not my problem we make him sick.”
tags: @strniolo , @ssturniolo , @thetriplets3 , @stvrni0lo , @gabbylovesreading , @dwntwn-strnlo , @tylerscreat0r , @toyourloves , @lvrsparadise , @tuktuk34 , @angelcake-222 , @20nugs , @obsessivencrazy , @lollibumblebee , @stargirlv0id , @babytomatoes , @jellybeanbby
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sanguineterrain · 1 year
Text
i'll put us back together at heart - s.h.
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Summary: It's 1987. You haven't spoken to Steve Harrington in nearly five years. Then Dustin Henderson tells you about a sweet deal he has at Family Video, where he can rent any movie he wants.
Pairing: ex-best friend!Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Word count: 8.8k
Warnings/tags: friends to strangers to lovers. the reader is twenty in 1987 and i technically made steve twenty-one/about to turn twenty-one. s4 happened but eddie's alive and vecna's dead. no earthquakes or anything like that; reader has no idea about what really happened. lots of angst, mentions of billy hargrove (yuck) and steve's s1 asshole friends.
A/N: oh my lord. i don't know where this eighteen-wheeler of a fic came from but here it is. there is a happy ending, not to worry. i'd never do that to y'all &lt;3 feedback and reblogs are always always appreciated!
divider by firefly-graphics
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August 1981
"I wish we could stay eighth graders forever."
You lift your head from your orange pool floaty. Steve drifts on the surface of the water. His hair is longer, way longer than you've seen it in the three years you've been friends. He says it's better for styling that way; he's even bought a gel and cream for his hair. You don't understand why he wants to change something that doesn't need changing. 
"Why?" you ask. "I thought you were excited for high school."
He hums. The sound echoes in his backyard. 
"It's bigger than middle school. More kids, more teachers, more work. I like eighth grade."
"I'll help you with your work," you say. 
Steve turns his head and smiles at you. Part of his face is in the water, the image distorted. 
"You'll do great," he replies. "You're so smart."
Steve doesn't say those things to get you to help him like other kids do. Steve means it. 
"You'll do great too," you say. "You're funny and nice and my best friend. People will like you."
"You think?" 
You nod. Steve turns his head and closes his eyes again. 
"We'll stay friends, right?" he asks. 
The floaty squeaks as you move to sit up. You paddle to Steve so you can look at his face. 
"Why wouldn't we?"
"I dunno." His eyes are still closed. "You might make super smart friends. And I'll just be a dumbass holding you back."
You shove Steve's shoulder lightly. 
"You are not dumb, Steve."
One muggy June night had had Steve admit he wasn't thirteen, like you and all the kids in your class, but fourteen. He had been held back in third grade after his parents moved from Illinois. It's why my brain's mush, he'd said. I was born dumb.
He had made you swear not to tell anyone. 
"You're not dumb," you say again. "Say it, Steve. Say you're not dumb."
His frown deepens, but he still won't look at you. 
"Tommy says I am."
"Tommy Hagan is a shithead," you shoot back with so much venom, Steve's eyes fly open. "It's not true, whatever he tells you."
You hate that they've been hanging out more this summer. You can't tell Steve that, because it's not like you own him. He can be friends with whoever he wants. But you can't help that your skin crawls when Tommy and his stupid girlfriend, Carol, drops by and pulls Steve away from you. 
“Promise?” he asks.
“Yes, Steve. I promise.”
“‘Kay.” Steve smiles a little. “Thanks.” 
You nod and lay back on the floaty. 
“Wanna get ice cream after this?” he asks. 
“Just us?” 
“Just us.”
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Now. (January, 1987)
You slam the phone back onto the receiver. A girl playing Pac-Man carefully glances at you. 
Whoops. Right. You're still at work. 
You smile and give a thumbs-up. She turns around. You return to your wallowing. 
You’ve called three different video rentals. Jewel Films, which is about to go out of business; More Movies, whose attendant hung up on you before you could say Molly Ringwald; and finally, Blockbuster, which is thirty minutes outside of Hawkins. None of them have a copy of Pretty in Pink. 
And okay. You could just watch another movie. You don't need that specific one. But this year has been shit. You'd thought after starting college, you'd finally break out of the Hawkins forcefield that had limited your social life. You'd thought you'd make friends and not be so terribly lonely. Life is supposed to get better after high school, isn’t it? 
Obviously, whoever said that is a big, fat liar. 
“Dude!” you hear a familiar voice exclaim. “Stop hogging the game!”
Tawny curls peek from under a green and yellow hat. The hat hovers over an older boy who’s glued to the Tempest booth. You go to them. Dustin Henderson lights up when he sees you. You can read his hat now; it says Camp Know Where ‘85.
“Hey, Y/N!” he greets brightly. “This guy has been here for a half hour. I left to get nachos and when I came back, he was still here.”
“I’m this close to beating my score!” the kid insists.
“Come on, guy," you say, one arm on the machine. "You gotta give other people a turn."
The kid, evidently demon incarnate, sneers at you.
“Who’s gonna make me? You?” 
You lean against the side of the game, considering.
“How old are you?”
“Sixteen,” he says.
You snort. 
“Sixteen? And you’re still on Tempest?”
He glances at you. 
“So?”
“Everybody your age is playing Rampage, that’s all.” 
You wink at Dustin. He beams.
“And, uh, I saw a couple girls hanging around Rampage,” you add. 
The kid turns to you. You tilt your head innocently. 
“Seriously?” he asks.
“Seriously. People always flock to the new games.”
Which is true. The girls part is not, but he doesn’t need to know that. With that attitude, he won't be getting many phone numbers anyway. 
You drum your fingers on the game like you have all the time in the world. And sure enough, the kid takes his quarters and heads towards Rampage. Dustin jumps in delight. 
“You’re awesome, Y/N!" 
You grin. “I try. Where are the others?”
Dustin sours.
“They ditched me. To hang out with their girlfriends! Can you believe that shit?” 
“No way!"
He shakes his head.
“I know, right? My friend told me that that’s what happens in high school. People change, y’know? And he’d know, I guess. He’s old like you.”
You scoff. “You make me sound like some kind of ancient. I’m not that old, Henderson.”
“It’s okay, Y/N.” He pats your arm. “In many cultures, the elderly are wise. Now in my experience, this hasn’t been the case. But I think you’re wise.”
“Gee, thanks.”
Dustin smiles like the little shit he is and puts his change in the slot. 
“Well, contrary to what this other friend says, I’m sure it’ll pass,” you say. “You guys will hang out again." 
You swallow your acidic truth. Dustin's a good kid, and so are his friends. You don't want him to turn cynical like you have. He's too young. 
Dustin shrugs, starting the game.
“I guess so. I got a copy of The Lost Boys for us to watch on Friday. They said they’ll be there.”
“Whoa, seriously? That one just came out, how’d you get a copy?”
“My friend,” he says. “The one I mentioned. He works at Family Video and reserves stuff for me.”
“Huh. I thought Family Video was closed."
You'd applied to work there last year and never got a call back. You'd gone by once and it had looked abandoned. Hence why you now work at the arcade across town. 
"It almost did, but Keith took over so now it's barely scraping by."
"Ah. Sweet deal on the movies."
“Yeah,” Dustin agrees, eyes crinkling. “My friend's pretty cool. You'd like him."
"Would I now?"
"Absolutely," he gushes. "He's a total badass too. He won his first fight last year. He used to be a jock but he's recovered." 
"Wow. Impressive."
"Mmhm. I could ask him to hold stuff for you too, if you wanted.”
“You would?”
The game makes a sad game over noise. Dustin sighs and takes a gulp of his slushie.
“Yeah, totally,” he says through a mouthful of blue raspberry ice. “Which one do you want?”
“Pretty in Pink? I missed it in theaters."
“Sure. I’ll tell him to hold it tonight and tomorrow you can pick it up.”
“Cool. Thanks, Dustin.”
Dustin gives you an apple-cheeked grin.
“Gotta stay in good graces with the arcade attendant who lets me play Tempest as long as I want.”
"I don't know what you're talking about," you say, walking away. "Don't get slushie on the game."
"'Kay!"
Dustin only gets a little bit of slushie on the game, but he cleans it up with about a million of the cheap snack bar napkins. When he leaves, he tells you to mention his name at Family. 
"Who do I ask for?" 
"You can talk to either of them," Dustin says. "Doesn't matter. Except Keith. You know Keith, right?"
"Unfortunately.” Keith used to terrorize the arcade before he blessedly moved on. “He works there?"
"Barely." Dustin scoffs. "He's almost never there, so don't worry. And feel free to ask for more movies. They owe me one."
Your sole interactions are with professors and a gaggle of high school freshmen. But now you get to watch any movie you want. Maybe this year won't totally suck. 
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The bell rings pleasantly as you step inside. There's a few people on line, so you take your time walking in. There's a movie display with about thirty copies of RoboCop. A cardboard cutout of RoboCop stares back behind his red helmet.
"Can I help who's next?"
You go to the counter. A girl about your age with a choppy haircut smiles at you but it's sort of strained. She has a pin on her green work vest that says Ask me!
"Please don't ask for Adventures in Babysitting," she says. 
"Oh. No, I'm, uh, Dustin's friend?" 
You can't believe you're name-dropping a high schooler. 
She nods in realization. 
"Oh, yeah. God, I keep telling that dweeb not to promise holds."
You wince. 
"Sorry. If it's going to get you in trouble…"
Her brows raise. She smiles a bit. 
"No, it's okay. Usually my coworker deals with it but, well. He's taking an extra long break today. So, what movie was it?"
"Pretty in Pink," you say. 
"Classic," she replies. "John Hughes fan?"
"Somewhat. I didn't get to see it in theaters. I like Molly Ringwald."
She grins.
"Me too. She's pretty."
"Super pretty," you agree. 
The girl considers you, then sticks out her hand. 
"I'm Robin," she says. "Nice to meet you."
You take her hand. "Y/N.”
"Did you go to Hawkins High?"
"I did. Graduated last year."
"Oh, cool. Are you in college?"
You nod. 
"Hawkins State. Twenty minutes from here."
"Sweet! I'm taking a gap year, but afterwards, I’m gonna apply there. It's cheap. College is college, right?"
"College is college," you agree. "But I wish I'd gone away for school."
You don't know why you're telling her this. You've known Robin for all of two minutes. But she seems friendly. And her sense of style is cool. She wears a blue blazer and tie underneath her vest. 
"How come?" she asks. 
"Everybody from Hawkins is there," you say. "And I… I just want a new start."
Robin smiles sympathetically. 
"They're jerks," she says. 
You huff. "Yeah."
You'd turned yourself into a social recluse a million years ago. It's your own damn fault you can't befriend anybody in this town. At least, not anymore. 
Robin types into the computer, then smacks the monitor. She groans. 
"Ugh. Gimme a second," she says. "Stupid technology."
"No problem," you say, smiling. You like her. Maybe you can integrate Family Video into your regular routine, become friends. You can see Robin becoming a good friend. One you wouldn't grow apart from. 
She disappears into the back room. You browse the old releases and stop at Die Hard. This one you saw in theaters. John McClane is a badass. 
You think of Dustin, and his supposedly badass new friend. It's too bad you didn't meet today. Dustin has a good sense about people. If he says so, it's possible you and this friend really would get on. 
The bell rings again. You're slow to look up. The entrance is empty when you do. You keep reading about John McClane's adventures. 
"Have you been waiting long?"
You turn at the new voice. The video slips out of your hand and clatters onto the counter. 
Steve’s hair has grown since you last saw it. He looks different too, though he has yet to break out of his signature church boy polos. There's a smattering of stubble on his jaw. His arms are lean with muscle. He wears a matching work vest like Robin's, name tag printed Steve in blocky font. 
He looks at where you've dropped Die Hard and smiles. 
"This is a good one," he says. "John McClane is a total badass."
You blink.
"Did you want to rent that one?" he continues, meeting your eye. 
"No," you manage. 
"Okay, no problem. Just browsing?" 
He doesn't remember you. 
You stare and stare. Steve leans in, concerned. He's changed, but he hasn't. He's still handsome with his swoopy hair and big, dark eyes, but the Steve you knew wouldn't have been caught dead working at a video store.
And he doesn't remember you. 
"Are you okay?" he asks, sounding genuine.
You take a step back from the counter. The blood roars in your ears. Robin comes back in, Pretty in Pink in hand. She looks at you, then at Steve. 
"Got it!" she tells you. "Computer should work now."
"I have to go," you say. 
You don't look at Steve again, instead focusing on Robin. 
Her brows rise. 
"Oh. Is everything—"
"I forgot my wallet," you blurt. "I can't pay for the movie. Sorry."
"That's okay, we can just—"
You run. The bell chimes over her words. You keep running until you get to the bus stop, three blocks away. 
Only there do you stop to catch your breath. 
And then you cry. 
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February 1982
"What do you think about Marie?" 
You look up from your textbook. Steve is doodling in the margins of his notes. You gently prod his arm. He returns to reading but his leg starts to bounce under the table. 
"Marie Iverson?" you ask.
"Yeah." 
Steve glances at you. He pushes his hair back. It had taken him freshman year to get his bearings with all the gels and creams, but now, his hair is a point of pride, always perfectly coiffed. Seniors call him "The Hair" and high-five him in the hallway. You hate it. 
"I don't know. I don't know her that well."
"She's cute." 
"I guess so," you say. 
It's harder to get Steve to focus on homework these days. Last year, he happily made flashcards with you and even bought fancy gel pens to share for your notes. Now, he prefers to talk about girls or—
"I was thinking of asking her out."
The tip of your pencil breaks. You really ought to start using pens, but you don't like being unable to erase. 
"Shit, here. Take mine." 
Steve offers his still perfectly sharpened pencil. You stare at it. 
"Y/N?" 
"Yeah." You take the pencil. "Thanks."
"Sure. So what do you think?" 
"I don't know, Steve. I thought you talked about this stuff with Tommy."
"I would, it's just…" Steve shifts uncomfortably. "He can be rude about it sometimes. He doesn't even get why we're friends, y'know? Doesn't understand why I don't just date you."
Tommy is a moron, but you've said that since last year, and Steve's never listened before. 
"Some people don't get it," you say mildly, because you have an upcoming French test and there's no use in getting upset over Tommy Hagan right now. 
"But you do. And you know about this stuff better than me. Girls and all."
"Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I know what girls are best for you to date, Steve. It's weird to talk about."
Steve deflates. 
"Oh. Yeah, I guess so. Sorry."
You sigh and rub your temple. 
"I thought you knew all about that," you say, extending an olive branch. "Asking girls out and stuff."
"Well, I mean, I've kissed girls but I've never… you're, like, the only girl I really know."
Something like pride swells in your chest. Selfishly, you want to keep Steve. You don't want to help him if it means losing him. Oh, you're so greedy, aren't you? You watch Steve run off with Tommy and Carol and nameless seniors and seethe, because Steve was yours first. Steve is yours.
"Y/N?"
"Yeah." You give him back his pencil and fish for another one in your bag. "Did you ever think about writing how you feel?" 
"Writing?"
"Yeah, like a poem or a letter."
"I'm terrible at writing," Steve laments. "The letters get all jumbled and I never spell a damn thing right."
He'd told his mom once how letters melt into each other, how b's become d's. She'd taken him to get his eyes checked, and when the doctor said Steve was fine, Deborah Harrington had told her son to stop begging for attention. 
"Someone who really likes you won't care about spelling mistakes, Steve," you tell him. "As long as you write from the heart. Don't do that cheesy shit and quote Romeo and Juliet. They're young, impulsive, and they die at the end, and that's not romantic."
Steve laughs, nose scrunched. 
"What!" you demand. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing, 's just—of course you'd have something to say about quoting Shakespeare."
"It's overdone," you say, crinkling your nose. "And girls would much rather read your own words." 
"So you think I should write Marie a letter?"
"If you really like her," you say. "Only write letters for girls you really like. Otherwise they lose their meaning."
Steve frowns. "I don't know if I should write her a letter, then."
Don't, you want to say. Don't write any of them letters.
You shuffle your papers into a stack. 
"Can we study now?" you ask.
"Oh, sure, yes. Sorry."
"You don't have to keep apologizing, Steve."
He shifts closer to you. His leg has stopped bouncing.
"Lemme take you out," he says. 
You nearly swallow your tongue. 
"Wh–what?"
"For ice cream," Steve clarifies. "Like we used to. Dairy Queen."
"Oh. Okay, sure. But after we study."
Steve beams. "I'll drive you."
Steve's dad had bought him the BMW as a birthday present this year—not that Richard Harrington actually knows when his own son's birthday is, considering the gift was three months early. Still, it's another point of pride for Steve and about all anybody talks about whenever his name comes up. Steve is the only person in your grade with a car. Junior girls hit him up for rides. You make yourself scarce when they do. 
You don't care. You liked Steve before the car. And the clothes. And the hair. 
Your throat feels tight. You want your best friend back. 
"Just us?" you check. 
You can't tell these days. Steve seems to hang out with everybody but you. You're shocked he'd even asked to study together. 
"Oh, sure," Steve says. "I just have to drop off Tommy and Carol first, okay?" 
You check your watch and close your book. 
"I have class," you lie. "I'll see you later." 
Steve catches your wrist. He looks at you and you're struck by how sweet his face is. It's not like you didn't understand why girls want him but it's Steve. Your Steve, who still sleeps with a nightlight and who framed a picture of a sports car he cut out from a magazine because he'd thought it would make him cooler (it didn't. You still tease him about it.) 
"Please," he says. "For helping me."
Your eyes slit. "I didn't help you to get stuff, Steve. I helped you because you're my friend."
Steve blinks like he's forgotten what it's like to be friends with someone just for the sake of being friends. 
"You're right," he agrees. "You're not like that. I'll tell Tommy and Carol to find another ride. It'll be just us. I promise."
You perk up at that. "Really?"
"Really. You can sit in the front with me and we'll play Bruce Springsteen, like we used to. Please?" 
"Okay, Steve." You ache. You’ve never been very good at telling him no. "I'll meet you in the parking lot."
And maybe… maybe your best friend is still in there after all.
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Now
You ask your shift manager if you can work at the snack bar today. It's in the back and you won't have to deal with any game hogs. 
"You didn't put enough syrup in my slushie."
You might have overshot the perks, though. 
Slushie Girl's hair is bleach blonde and hairsprayed to God. You want to tell her that all that hairspray doesn't keep friends. Or brain synapses. 
"I don't make the slushie," you say for the third time. "That's how it comes out of the machine."
She shoots you a mean look. 
"I'm complaining to the manager."
You paste on a smile. 
"You do that. Have a nice day."
She finally walks away, probably on the hunt for your manager, who's definitely smoking a joint outside to avoid this exact situation. 
Dustin comes around the corner and this time, he's with the rest of his party. You smile. 
"Hey, Y/N!" Dustin greets.
Lucas waves at you. Max and Mike are arguing and therefore are in their own world. And there's their newest addition, El, whose story you're still not clear on, as well as Will, quiet as always. 
You lean your elbows on the countertop. 
"What'll it be, gang?"
"Six nachos and six slushies, please. One blue raspberry, three cherry, and two Coke."
You fill up the slushies first. Dustin dances on his toes. 
"So did you pick up the movie?" he asks.
"Oh." You try to smile. "I went there but I couldn't. I forgot my money. Pretty dumb of me."
Dustin accepts this with no argument. 
"Well, you can go back. They'll hold it for a few days."
You're never setting foot in there again, but you don't tell Dustin that. 
He takes his slushie and immediately starts drinking. 
"Slow down, dude. You'll get a brain freeze," you say. 
"You sound like Steve," Dustin informs you. "Doesn't Y/N sound like Steve?" 
Lucas nods. 
"Yup. They're both parents."
You feel queasy. You focus on making the nachos, the cheese pouring out thick and gooey. 
"Did you meet Steve?" Dustin asks. "You probably know him from high school, but he's different now."
"Yes," you say quietly. "I knew him."
"I promise he's different. Even Mike likes him, and Mike hated his guts. Right, Mike?"
Mike pauses in his animated discussion with Max and looks at you. 
"What?"
"I'm telling Y/N about how Steve is cool now," Dustin explains. 
"Oh." Mike shrugs. "He's fine. Much better now that he's not dating my sister."
"He's not?" you ask. "But they were in love. I–I mean, that's what I heard, at least."
"She dumped his ass," El says, and it sounds a little ridiculous in her soft monotone. 
Max scoffs, taking her Coke slushie. 
"Did you live under a rock? It was a huge thing."
"Now Steve is lame," Mike says with a snort. 
"Getting dumped doesn't make somebody lame," you say with an old ferocity you'd thought had disappeared. 
"Okay, jeez." Mike holds up his hands. "Steve's alright. He's different, that's for sure."
"He's our paladin," Lucas says. "A protector." 
Dustin nods eagerly.
You blink. "He protects you guys?"
Max elbows Lucas. You have no idea what that's about. El steps forward and smiles softly. 
"Yes," she says. "He's our babysitter."
"Aren't you guys freshmen? I thought you were too old for babysitters."
"Oh no, Steve doesn't get paid for it or anything," says Mike. "He just does it 'cause he has nothing else to do."
"That's not true!" Dustin argues. Then he shrugs. "Well, it's a little true. But he does like us. He's a good guy. He cares about his friends."
You bite your tongue, not wanting to reply to that. 
"That's great, guys. The girl, Robin? She seems pretty cool too."
"That's Steve's best friend," says Dustin. "She's great."
"Oh." You wince. "Best friend?" 
Dustin huffs. “Yeah. They don’t date. He won’t say why."
"Platonic with a capital P," Max confirms. “It’s obviously because he’s in love with somebody else.”
“Not Nancy!” Lucas protests.
“There are other girls besides Nancy, Sinclair.”
You busy yourself with serving the last set of nachos. The kids pull out crumpled bills and coins in return. You count the money and stack it directly into the register; you know there won't be any change. 
When you turn, they're still there. Dustin has his signature grin on, eyes squinty. 
"Yeees," you drag out. "Can I help you?"
"We need a favor," Lucas says. "Please."
"Hmm." You lean over the counter. "What's up?"
"They're showing Prince of Darkness on Friday," Dustin explains. "But it's rated R."
"So just sneak in. Isn't that what you guys did at Starcourt?" you ask.
"We had an inside man then. They're a lot stricter at the new one," Lucas frowns. "They ask for IDs 'cause some mom complained after her kid snuck in to watch Risky Business." 
"And why can't your babysitter take you?"
You sneer at the thought. Steve spending his Friday nights herding a bunch of adolescent teens into a movie theater. There's a reason you consider Dustin affectionately delusional. 
"He has a stupid date," Dustin groans. "He's a serial dater, Y/N. It's terrible. He gets lucky once and totally ditches us."
Now that sounds like the Steve you knew. 
"I see. I don't really like horror stuff."
"You don't have to stay!" Dustin insists. "You can watch whatever you want after we’re in. I'll pay you back for the ticket."
“This would be so much easier if Steve still worked at Scoops,” Mike grumbles.
You blank for a moment, the image of Steve in a sailor’s hat and those ridiculous shorts whiting your brain.
“Um,” you begin. “You know I don’t have a fancy BMW to cart you guys around in, right?”
“It’s cool. We’ll get there,” Max says.
“So?” Dustin bounces on his toes. “Sooo?”
You sigh. It’d been nice of Dustin to get you the movie, even though you’d chickened out and ran. And it’s not like you have anything better to do.
“Okay,” you say. “I’ll get you guys in.”
Dustin pumps his fist. “Thanks, Y/N! You’re my favorite old person.”
You roll your eyes. “Funny. Any funnier, and I might rescind my help, Henderson.”
“Byeeee!”
They all disperse to the arcade. You wonder how on earth Steve got involved with them.
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March 1983
“Okay, but if you had to choose.”
“Pass. I would literally rather swallow pennies than kiss Principal Coleman’s bald-ass head, Steve.”
Steve takes a triumphant swig of beer. “So you’re saying you’ve got the hots for Benny the janitor.”
“No!” you insist through giggles. “I don’t. God, you’re gross. Can’t believe I’m being treated like this on your birthday.”
“Exactly! My birthday.”
He rolls onto his side in his deck chair and nearly faceplants on the cement. You reach out, reaction time delayed.
“Steve!” you yell. “Careful.”
“I am, I am,” he mumbles, and rights himself on the chair. “Jus’ wanna see you better.”
“I keep telling you you need glasses.”
“I do not,” he whines. “My vision’s ten outta ten. Could a guy who needs glasses do this?”
He crumples up a Twinkies wrapper and throws it towards the garbage. The wind picks up and sends the wrapped into the pool. 
“Shit,” he says.
You belly laugh in delight.
“Wait, wait, redo. Go fish it outta there.”
“Oh, as if. I’m not going in there. I told you you need glasses. Even Mother Nature agrees.”
"She does not. Mother Nature thinks I'm a doll."
You hum and close your eyes. Alcohol always makes you sleepy. 
The chair scrapes against the concrete. You hear a crinkle of a chip bag. Those are your only warning before you’re crushed by two hundred pounds of drunk boy. 
“Steve!” You wheeze, squirming as his hair tickles your face. “Get off!”
"’M sleepy,” he mumbles.
“Well, don't sleep on me, weirdo.”
“‘S cold.”
“You run, like, a hundred degrees, don’t lie.”
He lifts his head. “So you’re saying I’m hot?”
“I’m saying all that booze cooked your brain,” you reply sweetly.
“I’ve been wounded,” he moans and plops onto your shoulder.
“Ugh.” You resign to your fate and lean back. Steve’s not actually that heavy; even drunk, he has a lot of control over his weight and he’s situated himself so he isn’t crushing anything important. No, you squirm underneath him for a very different reason. 
“Steeeeve,” you whine. “You’re gonna squish me into a pancake.”
“Can’t believe no one else came.”
You still. Steve’s face remains buried in your shoulder. His body is beside yours, and he has an arm slung over your belly.
“I didn’t—didn’t want a party,” he continues. “I always throw parties. I thought I’d do somethin’ different. An’ none of them even wished me a happy birthday. ‘Cept you.”
You rest your hand on the back of his hair. It’s wind-blown and messy from the drinks, free of his heady hair gel. You’ve never loved it more.
“Did you tell them your birthday is today?” you ask gently, even though you know he did.
“Yeah,” he says. “Told all of ‘em. Guess they weren’t listening.”
“I listen.”
Steve looks up at you. His eyes are glassy.
“God, I miss you,” he says.
You feel the wall you’ve built this year crumble, just a little. 
“I’m right here, Steve.”
“I know but—been a jerk lately. I know I have. You’re my best friend, okay? Nothing’ll change that. I–I love you so much.”
Your breath hitches. Steve barrels on, not noticing.
“And I’ll be better. We’ll hang out more. Not–not here, drunk. But for real. We’ll go to the movies. Y’wanna see a movie?”
“Yeah,” you whisper. “I wanna see a movie.”
“‘Kay, what movie? Anything you want. We’ll get popcorn and Raisinets.”
“You hate Raisinets,” you choke through a watery laugh.
“I’d eat Raisinets anytime with you.”
You lay there, in the dark, the only sound being the pool filter.
“Let’s watch the new James Bond.”
“Hmm, okay. But you’ll have to say the name eventually.”
Your nose crinkles. “I am not calling it by its name.”
His laugh is warm in your neck. 
You don’t tell Steve to get up again. He snuggles into you, leg over yours. You fall asleep like that, curled underneath him.
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Now
“Wait.” Max stops. “Shouldn’t we have, like, a game plan?”
“Game plan?” El asks quietly.
“Yeah. Some of us aren’t so great at playing it cool.”
She stares at Lucas.
“I play it cool!” he squawks. “I am so cool!”
“Right.”
“Just let Y/N do the talking,” Will says. “She’s technically the adult so she should act like this is a conscious choice.”
You shrug. “Makes sense to me.”
Dustin beams. “This is gonna be great!”
“Or a total disaster,” Max says.
You go to the counter, the kids trailing behind like ducklings.
“Six tickets for Prince of Darkness, please,” you say. “And uh, one for Dirty Dancing.”
The attendant looks at you, then at the kids.
“Don’t you mean seven tickets for Prince of Darkness?” she asks. “It’s rated R.”
Shit. “Right, yes. Sorry. Seven tickets. And one for Dirty Dancing. We have another friend who’s late.”
“Uh-huh.” 
The attendant, whose bored expression you’ve recognized on your own face after long days in the arcade, hands you your tickets without any questioning. 
“I think we’re in the clear,” Lucas whispers when you enter the concession area. 
You wait for them to buy their snacks. Max persuades Lucas to let her mix M&Ms into their bucket of popcorn. He agrees and shuffles closer so they’re pressed shoulder to shoulder while they share. 
“Okay, last stretch,” Mike says, shoveling a frighteningly large handful of sour worms into his mouth. “We just have to get past the ticket guy.”
Said ticket guy is a kid who can’t be much older than you. You think you might’ve gone to school together, but you’ve made it a point to eviscerate everything about high school from your mind.
“Hey,” you say, trying to act cool. Maybe you’re the one Max should’ve been worried about, instead of Lucas. “Uh, here are our tickets.”
He takes the tickets, then looks behind you.
“Prince of Darkness is only for people seventeen and older,” he says.
“I’m an adult, so I’m with them,” you explain. “I’m, like, their guardian?”
“Yeah, uh—” He hands you your tickets. “No can do. There needs to be an adult for each person under seventeen.”
“Come on,” you cajole. “They’re high schoolers. It’s not like they’re gonna be scarred for life watching some zombies, or whatever.”
He shrugs. “Rules are rules.”
“She’s an adult!” Dustin argues.
“Look, if you’re gonna hold up the line, I’m gonna have to—”
“Yo, Gillespie! That you?”
Dustin turns and lights up. The seven of you part for Steve Harrington and his date, a pretty strawberry blonde you think you had biology with.
“Harrington, man, what’s up!” 
Ticket Prick gets up to slam Steve into a bear hug. You barely resist an eye roll.
“Shit, I haven’t seen you in a year! Where’ve you been all this time? Hey, did you hear about that shit with Munson?”
Steve flinches. It’s a tiny movement, indiscernible to the trained eye. But it’s there all the same.
“Gillespie, c’mon. Don’t bring the party down with that,” Steve says, all sweet charm. 
“Sorry, sorry. Daisy,” he greets the girl attached to Steve’s arm.
“Gil,” she replies with a giggle. “You smell like popcorn butter.”
America’s future taxpayers. Terrifying. 
“Are you gonna let us in or not?” Max interrupts, arms folded. 
You feel a burst of pride.
Gil shoots her a dirty glare and puffs up, ready to fight a fourteen year old. Steve cuts in smoothly.
“Gillespie, listen. I know her.” He points to you. You bristle. “I can personally vouch that she’s just trying to do right by these kids. They wanted to see Prince of Darkness, y’know? Get away from the parents.”
“It’s a sick film,” Gil agrees. “You seen it?”
No, of course Steve hadn’t seen it. He hates horror. 
“Planning on it,” Steve says, the ultimate image of playing it cool. “Look, you remember sneaking into the movies. Fast Times? Ring any bells?”
Max rolls her eyes. You’re inclined to do the same.
Gil laughs dopily, and nudges Steve. “Hell yeah, I do. That was a crazy night, Harrington.”
Steve smiles thinly. “Sure was. So whaddya say? For old times’ sake?”
Gil considers your little troupe. Then he shrugs.
“Why not. Manager’s not here anyway.”
He takes the tickets and tears them to stubs, then gives them back.
“Theater six. On your left. Enjoy.”
The kids stampede into the left theater wing. You hang back with your own ticket. 
“Appreciate it, man,” Steve says, all smiles. “Take care, alright?”
“Hey, you too, Harrington! We gotta catch up!”
Steve and Daisy go in. You expect them to walk right past you, and Daisy does, predictably. But Steve stops.
“I’ll catch up, okay?” he tells her. “Find us some good seats?”
She paws at him a little, then goes, sodas in hand. You stiffen as Steve walks and stops three feet away from you. 
“Hey,” he says. “Sorry about that. Gil’s an asshole.”
“I know. He yawned during my poetry reading sophomore year. And then you guys went to the movies together.”
Steve shrinks. “Your poems were great.”
You’re suddenly exhausted.
“What do you want, Steve?”
“I just… I wanted to see you. Say hi.”
“Okay.” You cross your arms. “Hi.”
“You forgot your movie,” he says. “The other day.”
“I didn’t want it that much.”
“Dustin said you looked everywhere for it.”
“Well, in the end, it didn’t really matter,” you say. “Not enough to stay.”
“Y/N—”
“I think your date’s waiting for you,” you interrupt. “Better get back to her. Wouldn’t want to taint your reputation.”
Steve makes a noise like he’s been wounded. You turn on your heel before you can think better of it. 
“Wait.” He catches your wrist. Steve’s grip is light, like you’re something precious to hold. You wrench your arm away. “Y/N, I want to apologize. I’m sorry.”
“For what?” you ask. “For forgetting me? I didn’t expect you to remember, Steve.”
“I didn’t forget you,” he insists. “I could never forget you. I wasn’t—please, can I just explain?”
“I don’t need your explanations,” you snap. The hurt corrodes your tongue like acid. “I know what happened. We were both there. You left.”
Steve’s eyes are huge and dark. He looks like you just stabbed him in the heart, and that makes you feel worse. You’d thought telling him how much it hurts would put you back together, but all it did was break you more.
So you run. Again. 
You slam through a back exit and rip your ticket into a million pieces. The wind is cold and unforgiving. Your eyes sting. 
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You call out sick for two days in a row. You kind of expect to get fired, but then again, people have been leaving Hawkins and if you’re not here to serve the masses their slushies, who will be?
So, after lying in bed not thinking about movies and strawberry blonde girls and how sick you are of this town, you get up and put on your arcade vest.
Now it is two in the afternoon. You’d heard it was supposed to snow today.
Robin eyes the snack counter like it holds the next plague outbreak. You don't blame her; you make it a point to wash up to your elbows after work.
"Slushie?"
She looks at you like she’d forgotten you were there. "What?"
You point a thumb at the machine. "Are you here for a slushie?"
"Oh. No, sorry. Red dye makes me insane in the brain. Steve actually—"
Robin stops, grimaces. So he's told her. Probably everything, if the kids had been telling the truth. 
You're honestly surprised she's here. Unless it’s to, like, swirlie you in the vat of artificial cheese. 
"Are you here to drown me in nacho cheese?" you ask.
Robin's eyes go wide as dinner plates. "What? No!"
"Just checking." You lean against the counter. "What can I do for you, Robin?" 
Robin suddenly looks like she's never interacted with a human being before. You like her a lot. Steve probably does too. 
"I came to drop off your movie." She holds the tape over the counter like it's a pool of lava. 
"But I didn't pay for it." You shove your hand in your jean pocket; you only have a couple dollars on you. "I guess I can get you the money tom—"
"It's on the house. For a fellow Molly fan."
Robin wiggles the tape with two fingers. You take it and wait for a catch. There is none. 
"Thank you," you say. "You didn't have to do that."
"Actually, it wasn't me," she confesses. "I'm just the mailman."
You prepare to hand it back but Robin shakes her head. 
"He's not going to pop out of the slushie machine, okay? He's just trying to make it up to you."
"He doesn't need to make it up to me," you bite, except those aren’t the words you mean. "Why does he even care? We're not in high school anymore."
Robin smiles a sad smile. 
"I know," she says. "We’re not. I know he should've known to fix things earlier. He's received a lot of blows to the head, though, so he's still catching up."
The thought turns your stomach. More? More you weren’t there to protect him from?
"He doesn't owe me anything," you say and wave the tape again. "You can take it back and leave it for somebody else."
"Y/N, I know we don't know each other, like, at all. But it's important to me you know that Steve cares about you, because you’re important to him. And you knew him way before I did, and you probably know a lot of stuff I don't, and that's good because he has a friend like me, but he should also have a friend like you too, Y/N."
"I don't want to be his friend," you mumble. 
"Yeah," Robin says. "I figured. But I don't think that's a confession he should hear secondhand."
You look at her, stunned. She's such a clever girl. You hope she treats Steve well.
"If you two are—"
"We're not," she says, like this is a regular explanation she goes through. "Steve and I are friends. Steve has crashed and burned with every single date since his fall from regency. Steve is the best person I've ever met." 
"Yeah, I’ve heard. You and Dustin are his biggest fans."
Robin snorts. "Trust me, I'm not proud of it."
You shake your head. Your eyes feel hot. 
"This town is so shit," you say. 
"Yeah," Robin agrees. "It really fucking is. But I'm not asking you to give this town a second chance. Just him."
"Why are you trying so much?" you ask. "You don't even know me."
Robin shrugs. "No, but you're the one person Steve used to be friends with who's not an asshole, and I think us non-assholes need to band together."
"I can sometimes be an asshole."
"Me too. So are those little dweebs. How about calling ourselves the Semi-Assholes Club?" 
You laugh. "We'll get jackets."
"With partially drawn butts on the backs," Robin says with a giggle. 
You look at the tape in your hand. 
"Does Steve like John Hughes?" 
"He does. He's a total sap for those. He thinks he's in his own coming-of-age movie because he's delusional."
He sounds perfect. He sounds like the friend you loved. 
"I did want to watch this one," you say. 
"It won't hurt you to," Robin promises. 
You suppose not.
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December 1984
You don't believe the whispers. All week, the rumor mill spins tales of Billy Hargrove finally pushing the King off his throne. There's no way he'll show his face, a girl at the adjacent lunch table astutes. I sure as fuck wouldn't.
Steve Harrington is a loser. Steve Harrington got dumped for Jonathan Byers. Steve Harrington may as well be dead, and on and on. 
Every line gets you angrier. A boy who sits behind you in chemistry taps his pencil like he always does. Tap, tap, tap. 
Halfway through class, you snap at him to quit it. He does, but not without a tinge of embarrassment. You’re so angry this year. Angry at your loneliness, angry at the unfairness of said loneliness. You might’ve done this to yourself, and that fact only gets you angrier.
You see Nancy Wheeler in the hallways with Jonathan Byers, and the confirmation of that rumor should make you happy. It doesn't. 
A week later, most of the excitement has died down. Everybody’s moved onto the next big thing, which is to deduce who fucked in Vice Principal White's office. One look at V.P. White, and it had been decided that it can't have been White himself. 
You can't care less. Once upon a time you might’ve laughed about it with a friend, but you don't have any more of those, and high school is bullshit with or without them. So.
Steve walks in twenty five minutes into the period. Mrs. Kaplan gives him a downright beastly glare and demands to know where he had been. 
"I'm sorry," is all he says. "If you give me detention, I understand."
There are a few snickers that rub at an old hurt, one that had flared up whenever somebody dared to make fun of your best friend. It doesn't bother me, he'd said, and you'd known it was a lie. 
It bothers me, you’d replied, and Steve had hugged you tight.
Mrs. Kaplan seems more stunned Steve hadn't swaggered past her like a peacock escaped from the zoo and lets him go sit down without a fight. He takes the only empty desk, two rows across from you. You stare. You can't not. 
Half of his face looks like it was mashed in a garbage disposal. It's purple and a sickly yellow. His eye and lip are still swollen. You stare and stare. You feel queasy. 
Billy had done that. You're so angry. You think you might never get past this grief, this loss of a once permanent fixture in your life. 
No one wished Steve a happy birthday this year, you realize out of nowhere.
You stare and stare and stare until Steve looks right back. You're blindsided by thick guilt, like blinking through a milkshake. And then the familiar curl of anger returns because why the fuck should you feel guilty? You aren't the one who fucked everything up, who mascerated this good thing. Steve did this to himself. Steve deserves to walk the halls alone. It's Steve's fault. 
But when you look at him, at his raw wounds, at his bruised knuckles, you know that he already believes he deserves every punch Billy Hargrove gave him. 
You hate Steve Harrington. But you really wish you'd been there to drive him to the hospital. 
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Now (And Forever)
The tape sits buried in your drawer for three days. You don’t know what Family Video’s return policy is, but you hope you’re not racking up late fees. You doubt name dropping Dustin will work again.
It’s Saturday when you decide to watch Pretty in Pink. You remove the video from its sleeve. An envelope falls out.
The front has your name printed in squished, loopy script. You remember January at Steve’s house, a stack of thank-you cards courtesy of his mother awaiting the Harringtons’ sign-off. Steve’s hand would cramp and you’d take over while he made grilled cheese for the both of you. Love, The Harringtons, and there was no love in that house, but you think maybe Steve loved enough to make up for it. 
Hi, the letter begins. I hope you’re good. Robin told me you’re going to Hawkins State.
That’s fucking amazing. I’m so proud of you. Are you still writing poetry? I liked that one you wrote about the birds who shared a branch and kept each other warm. I still have it in my notebook in my room.
I’m sorry for the other night. I’m sorry for every night since freshman year, honestly. I’m kind of a dumbass, but you know that, so it doesn’t really excuse anything. I think I’ve actually lost brain cells since we drifted apart.
You crumple the corner, suddenly hot with anger. Who keeps telling him he’s dumb? You want names.
I didn’t forget you, you know. I got scared and I thought maybe I could ease into it, but then you recognized me and… well. I don’t blame you for running.
Anyway. I’m talking too much about myself, when there’s nothing to say. I’m really sorry about what I did, or, actually, what I didn’t do. Somebody told me I was living on autopilot, and that it wasn’t really living at all. I think it was you. 
I’m not living on autopilot anymore. I woke up. And I realized that you’re the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to me. I love Robin and the kids and this little family that has apparently invayd invaded your life too. Sorry about that. They never leave and they eat all your food. Good luck. 
But I miss you. I always have.
Shit happened these last few years that I’ll tell you about one day, if you want. I’d rather not, though, because you’ve always been the paranoiac (like that one? Robin said it’s an SAT word) of the two of us and I feel like this would just make you even more of one. But I will tell you, if you want to hear it. I want to tell you everything. I want you to tell me everything too. Like we used to.
I want you to tell me how college is going. Who the annoying jerks in your classes are so I can go beat them up (kidding). I want you to stop by to rent movies so I can lend them for free and you’ll yell at me about taking advantage of fre friendships. 
Fuck, I miss you. It’s always been there, bubbling below the surface. I never stopped missing you. I never stopped loving you. I’m sorry I didn’t write this sooner. I know you said writing is how we express things we can’t say. You were right. You always are. Can’t believe I forgot that. 
It’s okay if you don’t want to be friends. I mean, it hurts, but I respect it. I understand. Most days, I can’t believe people can bear to be around me. But then I hear your voice in my head, telling me that most people are shitheads and that I’m golden and. Well, I don’t know if I believe that, but you were right that most of the people I surrounded myself with were shitheads. Except you, of course. And then I went ahead and fucked that up.
I’ve been working on finding the non-shitheads of the world. I think I’m doing pretty well. And I wrote this because I realized that while I will probably end up buried in this fucking town, you’re going to do something incredible. And nothing incredible ever happens in Hawkins, so I figure you’ll be far away when you do it. 
I didn’t want to miss this chance to write things I never said. So here they are. And you can do whatever you want with them. You’ve always been the best of the two of us. I trust you.
You should watch Dirty Dancing. You’ll like it. I did. I’ll see it again if you want. I’ll watch anything with you.
Did you know there’s another Bond movie coming out in the summer? We could watch that one together too. If you wanted more time to decide.
Sincer
Lo
Your friend,
Steve
You don’t bother ejecting the tape. You run all the way to the bus stop, Steve’s letter in hand. 
You have to see him. No other thoughts register except that one. You have to know if Steve wrote these words because he can’t say them or because you won’t listen.
It isn’t too late when you get to Loch Nora. The neighborhood is dead, which is weird. Steve’s house looks frozen in time: his parents’ car isn’t in the driveway. You wonder if they’ve ever come back since you’ve been gone. You wouldn't be surprised if the answer is no.
There’s a tarp over the pool. The gate is locked with a chain. You can’t sneak in through the fence like you used to. Not that you would. You don’t think strangers can sneak through pool gates.
You knock on the door three times. And wait.
Steve’s car is in the driveway, a duller burgundy than when he first got it. There are a few scratches in the paint. No longer a prized possession. Maybe well-loved instead.
The door swings open. 
Steve says your name like a prayer. You swallow and steel your spine. 
“I got your letter,” you say.
“Oh.” He rubs the back of his neck. His hair is damp like he’s just showered. It curls around his ears. Waves of want hit you. 
“I don’t want to be friends,” you continue before he can speak. “I don’t—I can’t do that again.”
Steve’s mouth draws into the saddest frown you’ve ever seen.
“Okay,” he says softly. “Thank you for telling me.”
“No.” You shake your head. “No, that’s not—I don’t mean it like that.”
His brows knit. “What?”
“I…” You pull out the letter and wave it. “Did you mean it? Do you love me?”
“Yes,” Steve whispers. It’s like a shout in the quiet street. “I meant it.”
“Like a friend?”
“If that’s what you want.”
“Will you love me like a friend forever?” you ask. 
“Always.” 
You squeeze your eyes shut.
“I love you as something more,” you blurt, watery. “I have for a long time.”
You hear the door shut. This is it: your heart on the line, all for nothing—
“Then I’ll love you as something more back,” Steve says. “I’ll love you any way you want me to.”
And he holds you the way you’d held him so many times. You inhale and wrap your arms around his neck. You’ve got an iron grip around the letter. Tears slip down your cheeks.
“I missed you,” you confess.
Steve nods against your shoulder.
“Yeah,” he says, and it sounds a little wet. “I missed you too.”
“You were wrong,” you say into his neck.
“Hmm?”
You pull back to look at Steve.
“Incredible things do happen in Hawkins.”
“Oh, yeah?” Steve smiles, cheeks blotchy. “Like what?”
“We found each other again.”
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People write some weird fucking shit
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lovingmattysposts · 4 months
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Do you think he knows?
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summary: you just became popular on YouTube and you just moved to LA and you were invited on one of your favorite podcasts, The Zach Sang Show. Everything was great until he brought up a little crush of yours that you gushed about that the beginning of your career, which caused you to light up in embarrassment hoping to god he never saw anything you’ve said about him.
warnings: Just fluff, mentions of drinking/ being sober
"Next topic" Zach said through the microphone. I just smiled and looked over to him as he looked down at the sheet in front of him.
My friend, Sarah and I had been growing rapidly on youtube and our podcast that we had. We made vlogs and just filmed some funny moment that happened throughout our lives, and people actually tuned in and listened. Which shocked me. 20K viewers turned in 100K viewers and we were now sitting at almost a million subscribers on youtube and an average of 800K-1M views per video.
We had just offically moved to LA a month ago and were still settling into everything. It was all very exciting and this was the first time were appearing on someone else's podcast and I was nervous to say the least. When we were first invited on the podcast, The Zach Sang Show, of all places, I debated on going or not, but ultimately we decided it would be best to further our career. So here we were, sitting here doing someone else's podcast.
The first few questions were easy. Just basically talking about the come up of our career, how we got here, how we met, etc. I felt better having Sarah here by my side, I didn't know what I would do if all of the attention on me. I was just happy not too many personal questions were asked so far.
"Chris Sturniolo" Zach said directing his attention to me. I took in a breath, attempting not to show on my face the embarrassment that began to arise.
I was so excited when we first started blowing up. I never really thought we would go anywhere, just making silly little videos to look back on, so that persuaded me to say whatever came to mind. Including my huge crush on Christopher Sturniolo. In our earlier videos, I would go on and on about how attractive I thought he was. How funny I thought he was. How I would marry that man in a heartbeat.
This caused many of the Sturniolo triplet fans to be directed towards our videos. Clips of me gushing over new instagram posts of him, going viral on TikTok. The comments being filled with their fan base saying things like, "She gets it" or "Me too girl".
Once we started to blow up even more I started to calm down my obsessive tendencies. I knew that since our faces were starting to pop up around more and more, I would die of embarrassment if Chris came across any of those clips. I wasn't stalker-obsessed. I'd seen a few of their videos, seen a few clips on TikTok, which like many other girls across the globe made me start taking an interest in Chris.
I didn't know everything that's ever happened in his life or anything. I just saw his face, seen him say some funny shit, and was like "Yep love of my life" and that was it. Kind of like people's crushes on Liam Hemsworth and Jacob Elordi. It didn't go far past seeing funny or attractive clips of them.
To this day, I still didn't know if Chris had seen anything i've said about him and honestly I really didn't want to know.
Sarah looked over at me, raising her eyebrow a smile on her face. I shook my head and looked down, feeling my face start to burn up.
"You've been pretty open with your past relationship history in your videos, which is why many of your fans love you guys. For your open and honest thoughts" He said looking down at the sheet in front of him.
"y/n, you've never actually been in a relationship before?" He asked looking at me. I sighed and nodded. "I've been in positions of potential relationships before, but they all treated me like shit. So i've just kinda voided the whole thing off. I don't think it's ever gonna happen for me. I've definitely been hurt enough in the past to where I'm not even looking to be in one" I said honestly nodded. Zach nodded smiling.
"You know we just had Chris on the show" he said. I sighed looking down smiling and shaking my head. "He had an answer very similar to yours" he stated. I looked over at Sarah who was smiling and biting the straw on her drink.
"Look" I breathed into the mic. "Chris is a very attrative young male, but I don't know anything about him really. He could be in a relationship for all I know. I'm not into stepping on anybody's toes" I laughed awkardly looking at him. He nodded looking down.
"You've mentioned in some of your past videos that you thought he was the most attractive man to walk the planet" Zach said making Sarah bust out laughing and push the mirophone out of the way. I hit her in the shoulder and shook my head.
Zach raised his eyebrows and looked at me. I avoided his eye contact attempting to wipe the smile across my face. "Do you still think that?" Zach asked looking at me. I pursed my lips. I took a deep breath as I leaned into the mic.
"Okay, I know I was a little obessive there for a minute, but I swear it wasn't in a creepy way. I just saw a cute guy popping up on my feed and was like "oh heyy"" I laughed into the mic.
"I don't even really know the guy that well" I shook my head. Zach smiled raising his eyebrows. "Are you sure? You’re blushing a little bit over there" He laughed. I shook my head smiling.
"Hello? Have you seen the guy? I still stand behind everything I've said. I just don't want to get attack by the fan base, I'm honestly scared of them. I really haven't seen that many of their videos" I said shaking my head.
"She plays their videos to fall asleep at night" Sarah said leaning into the mic. I glared over at her smiling. "She's lying!" I said shaking my head. "I'm kidding" Sarah laughed shaking her head. I was now blood red.
"Have you met him yet in person? I know you guys work with the same merch company" Zach stated. I smiled and nodded. "Wow you really did your research" I laughed. "That's my job" he said smiling. I shook my head.
"No, I haven't met him in person and If i'm being completely honest I think I'd run and hide. My 17 year old self had no filter" I laughed shaking my head.
"So what makes you feel an attraction to Chris rather than Matt per say?” Zach smiled and leaned back in his chair. I sighed. "I feel like from what I've seen Matt and I are very similar in the fact with dealing with mental health shit and kind of letting everyone else talk and being shy" I said looking at him.
"So I feel like Chris is like a breath of fresh air of not seeing myself in him. I wouldn't really want to be with someone exactly like me" I stated.
"Not that I think Matt isn't attractive or a great person, oh god i'm so scared of their fanbase" I shook my head quickly. Zach laughed. "In full honesty Nick is my favorite" I laughed. "But I don't know, In a weird way I feel like them being sober and me being sober and everything, It would just be nice to have someone like that especially in the LA scene where I feel like everyone is the same" I sighed. He nodded.
"So this is y/n’s offical application to be Chris Sturniolo's girlfriend" Sarah said into the mic. My eyes went wide and I pushed her. "It is not!" My face went red. Zach laughed.
"But yeah they are all attrative, clearly" I said holding out my hands and looking around. "But I think they are like genuine people, which is hard to find" I sighed. They nodded. "I agree" Sarah said into the mic, I nodding looking over at her and smiling.
"If you could go back and delete some of those clips of what you said about him, would you?" He asked looking at me. I took a deep breath before leaning into the mic.
"No, I wouldn't. As fucking insane as I sounded--" I laughed. "That's one of the main things that made us blow up, being relatable and such. Plus it made alot of his fan base find us, and I wouldn't give that up just to save myself future embarrassment. I also meant everything I said, I was young growing up--but it didn't mean I didn't feel the things I was saying. I think it's kind of sweet looking back and seeing those clips and seeing the emotions of it all. It reminds me of when I would obessive over bands and stuff when I was a kid" I smiled nodding.
Zach nodded smiling. "That's a sweet way of looking at it" he smiled. I shook my head laughing.
"Okay, now bring out Chris Sturniolo!" He yelled holding out his arm towards the door. My eyes went wide and I screamed covering my face with my hands, making Sarah and Zach laugh.
"I'm kidding. I'm kidding" He said into the mic. I looked up feeling my face heat up. "Zach, we're not friends anymore" I bit back a smile shaking my head, making him laugh.
"Next topic, please" I said shaking the smile off my face.
-
"How do I look?" Sarah asked running her fingers through her hair. I smiled at her. "Good, really good" I said looking her. She smiled letting out a breath. She looked over at me looking her up and down.
The Zach Sang episode went out last week, and low and behold the clip of me talking about Chris went viral. Out of everything I talked about, that's the one topic that gets millions of views. It helped out our fan base quite a lot actually, we gained almost 100K after that video posted, so I couldn't be that mad. I just could never look Chris Sturniolo in the eye and I was okay with that.
"You're not nervous at all?" She asked looking at me. I shrugged and then shook my head. "They are just people Sarah, just like us" I laughed as she nodded and took a deep breath.
It was our first ever influencer party ever. Familiar faces i've seen online crowded the room. It was weird seeing people I used to fan girl over in the same room as me, even speaking to me. It was something I never even imagined myself doing. But here we were.
I wasn't nervous it was weird. Maybe it was because we had just as many followers as some of the people around us.
"Did you see Vinnie Hacker was over there?" She gushed before closing her eyes and covering her mouth in excitement. I shook my head looking at her. "Calm down, this isn't a meet and greet. We're here to make connects so calm down" I said through gritted teeth. She took in a deep breath before nodding and smiling.
"Okay, Okay I'm calm" She nodded looking at me. I raised my eyebrows. "I am--I am look" She said pinching her fingers and taking in a slow breath and letting it out. I smiled and shook her as she attempted to mediatate in front of me.
She opened her eyes before they trailed behind me and she froze. I just looked at her. "What?" I asked. She stood frozen, staring behind me. "Did you see lil huddy or something?" I chuckled, but she didn't smile. "Sarah what?" I asked again looking at her. She glanced down at me, dropping her arms.
"The triplets are here" She said quietly. I felt all the blood leave my face. "What?" I asked quickly looking at her. She glanced behind me before quickly looking down at her feet. "Fuck, Fuck, Fuck" she said quickly placing her hands against her face. My heart started to beat out of my chest.
"Sarah what?" I whispered quickly. "We made eye contact, they are walking over here" She said looking up at me. My mouth dropped at I stared at her in disbelief. "What? No--Are-Are you sure--" I whispered looking at her. She lifted her head, before a smile came her face.
"Shut up, shut up" She whispered quickly under her breath as she raised her eyebrows, her attention turning to the people walking up to us. I stared at her, my eyes wide and anxiety filling my whole body.
"Hey"
I heard a male's voice say. I reluctantly looked up to see Nick staring down at her. I smiled up at him, slightly star struck from standing this close to him. I glanced over and saw Matt standing next to him and Chris standing next to Matt, all looking at me.
This was my worst nightmare.
"Y/n and Sarah right?" Nick smiling pointing between us. I took in a breath looking over at Sarah with wide eyes, she wore the same expression. Unfortunately. I wanted to say.
"Yeah" I nodded smiling. "I'm Nick" He said holding out his hand for me to shake. I looked down at his hand. Maybe he's being humble. I obviously knew who they were. I took his hand anyway shaking it, before he extended his hand to Sarah, who shook it smiling.
"This is Matt and Chris, my brothers" He said motioning to them. I looked over at Matt who smiled nodding at me, and then to Chris who smiled slightly. I swallowed looking down at my feet. Oh my god.
"We love your videos" Nick said making me snap my head up. I looked at him furrowing my eyebrows. He just looked at me. "Like--" I said looking over at Sarah who was just looking at me.
"Like our videos?" I asked motioning between me and Sarah. Nick laughed. "Yeah, we watch you guys like every week" He breathed. I just stared at him, my mouth slightly parted trying to figure out is he was serious or not.
"Like actually?" Sarah asked looking over at Nick. "You guys are funny as fuck" Matt said chuckling. "We live for the shit talking saturdays podcast" Matt said looking over at me. I smiled closing my eyes.
"You guys--" I said looking between them, trying so hard to not keep eye contact with Chris. "Are the funniest people i think i've ever seen" I chuckled looking at them. They all smiled.
"Thank you we appreciate that" Nick said looking up at me. I glanced over at Chris, who has yet to say a word, to see him just looking at me. I glanced away from him quickly looking back at Nick.
"I know that we have a lot of them same fan base--" Nick said looking between us. "Would you guys maybe want to colab sometime?" He asked raising his eyebrows looking at us. I looked over at Sarah who looked at me, attempting to send me messages through her eyes, before shrugging. I looked back at them.
"It doesn't have to be for a whole pod episode, I know you guys just did that--" Matt started to say, making me close my eyes and scrunch my nose. Fuck. I took a breath, reopening my eyes. It's fine. It's fine. You're fine.
"It could just be like a regular video, I know our fans would love to see it" Matt explained looking between us. I took in a breath and looked over at Sarah, who shrugged and nodded. I looked back at them, my cheeks slightly red.
"Yeah, we'd love that" I nodded. Nick smiled at me. "Great, can I get one of your numbers?" He asked looking between us. I nodded before pulling out my phone and handing it to Nick. Nick looked down at the phone, making silence come between the rest of us.
I just looked down at my feet.
"I like your shoes"
When I heard his voice my eyes shot up. Chris was looking at me. I looked down at my shoes and then back at him. "Mine?" I asked. He chuckled and nodded. My face lit up in what felt like flames.
"Oh! Thanks. I actuatly just got these--They were like super expensive for like no reason, they are just like tan shoes like why are they so fucking---" I stopped myself biting my lip. Fuck, I'm word vomiting. I paused looking at him and he was staring back at me waiting for me to finish.
"Expensive" I breathed looking at him. He smiled and nodded. "They're sick" He said glancing back down at my shoes. I smiled and looked away from him, just in time for Nick to hand me back my phone.
"Just text me whenever you're free" He smiled before walking past us, watching Matt and Chris following along after him. I let out a breath.
I looked over at Sarah.
"He definitely saw it" I groaned closing my eyes. Sarah looked over at me. "He definitely saw it" She nodded looking over at me. I looked over at her. "How embarrassing was I?" I sighed rubbing my hands over my hands. Sarah shook her head looking at me.
"No, no you weren't I promise" She said looking down at me. I cringed looking up at her. "Maybe a little red--" She squinted. I sighed and looked down. "But definitely not embarrassing" She said putting her hand on my shoulder.
I looked over to see the triplets moved across the room, just in time to see Chris look back at me. I turned away and grabbed Sarah's arm. "That's enough embarrassment for one night" I mumbled as I dragged her away.
-
"I'm gonna go talk to Vinnie" Sarah smiled up at me. I rolled my eyes. "Sarah, you've had too many drinks. You're gonna embarrass yourself" I chuckled pushing her drink down. She rolled her eyes.
"Liquid confidence" She cheered before moving past me. "Sarah" I said looking at her as she smiled and winked at me and made her way across the room. I sighed once she finally made her way over to him and he looked down at her.
Sometimes I wondered how it was so easy for her. To just go up and talk to guys. Sure I was confident online with my podcast and everything, but when it came to real life situations--I wasn't the one talking first or being the loudest one in the group.
This resulted in Sarah having multiple flings with people, pulling guys wherever she went and me being the girl who just creppily talks about a triplet and runs away from him. God.
"Hey"
I glanced away from the interaction from Vinnie and Sarah and looked up to see the same blue eyes I was just thinking about staring down at me. I turned slightly to see if anyone else was around me that he could possibly be talking to, but when I saw no one I turned back to look at him. He smiled and shook his head at me.
"Hi" I breathed looking at him. Chris. glanced down at my cup. "What you sippin on?" He asked. I looked down at the cup in my hand and then back up to him. "Oh! It's like this herbal-tea thing. It's suppose to help calm you down, but not in like a drug related way---Like in a herbal tea way--" I chuckled slightly.
"But it's really not that good, if i'm being honest i'm having to choke it down, because it is not working--" I said shaking my head looking back up at him, a smile just on his face.
"Not! That i'm super nervous or anything, I just--It's my first influencer party and I don't really know anyone except for Sarah--Who is--" I said looking over and seeing her lips attached to Vinnie's. I scrunched my nose and looked back at Chris who was also taking in the sight himself.
"Sucking on Vinnie Hacker's face currently" I chuckled slightly looking back at him. He chuckled and nodded. "But don't mind her, she's not normally like this. She's just drunk and nervous which is why she's making out with a famous twitch streamer" I shook my head. He just nodded smiling at me.
"Not--that i'm judging her for drinking or anything. That's totally okay with me--It's just not for me, you get what i'm saying? Sometime I like being the DD, but only if it means no one is puking in my car. But she never usually gets to that point, I also love how she doesn't judge me for not drinking even though we're in LA, because sometimes peer pressure is just like---" I said looking around and then meeting his eyes again, pausing as he looked down at me. I sighed closing my eyes.
"I'm....talking a a lot aren't I?" I asked opening my eyes looking at him. How could I possibly have gone on a tangent this long from the simple question: What are you drinking? God If I could crawl into a hole right now, I would.
He chuckled and shook his head. "No you're fine" He smiled looking down at me. I took a breath and looked down, feeling my face betray me and light up. "I'm sober too, I think it's cool that you're sober" He said pointing at my drink.
"Think i'd rather be drinking alcohol than whatever herbal ass this is" I joked looking down at my drink, my hand slightly shaking. He laughed. He laughed, making me look up at him and take a real breath. He shrugged.
"Yeah maybe sounds really gross" He breathed looking down at me. I took a breath as we stared at each other. Not believing that we were genuinely speaking right now.
"I saw that you said you were working on a jewelry brand" He stated looking down at me. "That's really fucking cool" He smiled looking at me. I smiled and nodded.
"I'm really excited about it. T-shirt and sweatshirts are whatever, but like making a genuine brand that people who aren't a fan of my content can wear is really cool" I said looking at him. He nodded.
"Yeah I think it's pretty cool that you can decifer yourself and what you want to do, from Sarah's. I feel like I kind of a hard time doing things without my brothers" He stated looking down at me, like I was a normal person and we were having a normal converstaion.
"Yeah well, I feel like before all this social media stuff, Sarah was kind of the one who made all the plans, was always invited somewhere, always had more friends. Mainly because she was more outgoing than me--" I said glancing over at her, still kissing Vinnie. I looked up at Chris who was watching them.
"Clearly" I chuckled and he chuckled and nodded. "And also with the fact that she drank and I didn't" I sighed. "I guess they just felt awkward inviting me to places where there would be drinks, like I was allergic to it or something" I said shaking my head. He nodded, like he was understanding what I was saying.
"I would never say this to her, but taking the step to doing something by myself that I feel people would love is like the biggest deal to me ever. Especially since I feel like when people look at the two of us, they usually like her more" I sighed. Chris nodded and his eyes didn't leave mine as I spoke, like he was really listening.
"Which I guess it's not her fault, but it's how I feel" I shrugged. He let out a breath and glanced over at Sarah who had finally come up for air. "Sarah's cool" He stated. I looked up at him nodding. He glanced back down at me.
"But she's not as funny as you" He whispered slightly leaning down, making me start to shake slightly. I chuckled and shook my head. He leaned up and smiled down at me. We just looked down at me for a second.
"Sorry I'm not really good at this" I said looking at him, he furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean?" He asked crossing his hands over his chest. I tilted my head and narrowed my eyes at him.
"I don't know this?" I asked shaking my head. He smiled and licked his lips. "What flirting with me?" He asked looking down at me, making my eyes go wide. He raised his eyebrows and smiled. I scoffed, feeling my face go red.
"I am not flirting with you" I said attempting to bite back my smile as he looked at me. He shrugged and looked down at me. I sighed looking down and swallowing my pride.
"You've seen the clips haven't you?" I asked scrunching my face and looking up at him. He smiled and shrugged. "Maybe a few" He laughed lightly. I swallowed shaking my head, suddenly regretting everything i've ever said. I groaned placing my hands over my face.
"Oh god" I said looking up at him. He shook his head. "No, don't be embarrassed. I think it's flattering" He chuckled. I shook my head. "No Chris, it is embarrassing" I laughed off the awkwardness of this conversation.
"I think it's cute you think my eyes are bluer than the ocean" He chuckled. I shook my head holding up my hands. "Stop stop" My face just got redder by the second. He laughed and stepped towards me grabbing my hand that was in the air. I looked down at our hands and saw him looking down at me.
"Maybe you weren't flirting with me, but maybe I wanted to flirt with you" He stated running his thumb over my hand and then letting it fall. I glanced up and blinked at him, as he looked down at me. Was I dreaming? Was this real life? I didn't believe the words falling out of his mouth.
"What?" I whispered. He took in a breath sighing and looking to the side. "My brothers would never shut up about the things you've said about me, reminding me almost everyday--" He started looking back down at me. I didn't speak I just looked at him.
"and maybe I mentioned that I thought you were cute" He smiled down at me. My mouth parted. Dreaming, definitely dreaming. "And ever since I said that, they haven't shut up about getting us to meet each other--Since they love your videos so much" He said quietly looking down at me.
"They love?" I asked smiling up at him. He sighed rolling his eyes. "We love" He stated smiling. I blushed and shook my head. "Sorry" I whispers running my hands over my cheeks that were out of control. He shook his head, his eyes not breaking mine.
"No it's okay" he smiled. I smiled up at him. "So...you think you'll do a video with us?" He asked quietly. I took in a breath. "i'll have to check my schedule" I teased looking at him. He licked his lips and nodded.
"You think you have time in your schedule for a date?" He asked smiling. My smile dropped as I looked at him, seeing if he was serious. He raised his eyebrows looking at me.
"Like actually?" I whispered looking at him. He smiled and nodded. "Dinner? My place?" He asked looking at me. I opened my mouth and then closed it just staring at him.
"Are you seeing someone?" He asked due to my silence. I shook my head quickly. "No" I stated. He furrowed his eyebrows. "Will you go out with me then?" He chuckled. I took in a breath before smiling, getting ready to respond but I was too nervous so I turned to the side.
I glanced over seeing Sarah leaning against Vinnie's shoulder, groaning with her eyes closed. I sat up straighter.
"Shit" I breathed. I looked back at Chris. "I'm sorry I have--" I said looking at him. He shook his head stepping back. "No go, you're fine" He said shaking his head. I took in breath stepping away from him and starting towards Sarah, but I paused turning back around to meet Chris's eyes again.
"Dinner. Your place. Saturday night work?" I breathed smiling. He started to smile. "Y-Yeah that's perfect" He nodded. I smiled before leaning up and kissing his cheek and then leaning back seeing I was no longer the one who was red in the face.
"You're sweet" I whispered. He just smiled at me, before I turned and headed off towards Sarah.
tag list:
@rac00ns-are-c00l4 @miastromboli @secret-sturniolo @sturnsclutter @sturniolodreamz @paper-crab @chrisolivia4l @mwah0mwah @recklesssturniolo @ejswift @kitaysworld @meg-sturniolo @nickmillersn1gf @fr3shl0ve @adrianaturnedpretty @oversturn @ghostgurlswrld @flowerxbunnie @ilytrinsworld @lustfulslxt @kiarastromboli @gemofthenight @blahbel668 @haunted-headset @sturnybabes @bethsturn @d3adlyclassrat @sturnybabes @mattsbitch @chrisluvbot @nickenthusiast @sturniolossmut @biimpanicking @iloveneilperry @chalametbich @dsmja @bernardsleftbootycheek @lovingsturniolo @aoxash @idrkk-123 @gingerbreadgodofhyperdeath @babagurlrichey @d3adlyclassrat @iammattsturniolo @1201pm @urfavstromboli @that-chris-girl01 @lovingsturniolo @aoxash
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agendabymooner · 2 months
Text
too good to be true ! lando n. x ofc
“made some breakfast, made some love; if this is what dreams are made of, please don't wake me.”
summary: esme ‘essie’ ellwood was everything that lando norris didn’t think he wanted— but his fans thought that she was someone he needed.
OR just a brief overview of lando’s relationship with a countryside girl who, beyond her introverted tendencies, was an unhinged, unserious yet amazing mother and girlfriend.
content warning: crack fic-esque, youtuber!horsegirl!ofc (face claim: faith kelly), established relationship, fluff, dad!lando, godfather!max fewtrell, sexual innuendos, mentions golfing + carlando + horses
note: i watched faith’s golfing video with behzinga and thought this was a good funny haha excerpt with lando. enjoy xx
a - n masterlist // o - z masterlist
if you’d like to get on one of my taglists, check this post out
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tagged landonorris
liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, maxfewtrell
user1 oh we eating good 😭😭
landonorris not the golf police 🤦‍♂️ liked by essiellwood
essiellwood if this man isn’t an f1 merchant he’s a golf sack of shit
landonorris i love my baby mum sm ❤️
essiellwood if i can only share the same sentiment as you ☹️
carlossainz55 🤣 i’m dead
essiellwood ok, golf connoisseur 🙄
ciscanorris1 were you mansplained again? liked and pinned by essiellwood
essiellwood i don’t recommend watching the video (trigger warning ⚠️: your brother is cringe)
maxfewtrell there is also a lot of dirty jokes but ig that works too
user2 LMAOOOO MAX 😭😭😭
carlosonoros tiger ellwoods 👍 liked by essiellwood
essiellwood 🥹❤️
LANDO VS ESME: GOLFING EDITION by esme ellwood
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liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, alex_albon
maxfewtrell omg i’m one of the girls 😳
user1 MAX—
flonorris1 miss lala at the first pic 😍
user2 still baffled the horse’s name is lala because of lando’s niece lmaoooo
alex_albon look at my short queen judy woody 🥹🥹
essiellwood she is everyone’s short queen 🐴
landonorris you went for a ride with lala?
essiellwood yes?? like i said i would??
landonorris do me next 🤩
essiellwood have shame— you’re a father now
user3 he said what ^
user4 why does he keep forgetting he’s an f1 driver???
user5 never beating the horny lando allegations ‼️
carlossainz55 landonorris the holy water calls for you mate 🤣 liked by essiellwood
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♡ moony’s reminder 🅶 (general): @hiraethrhapsody @avaleineandafryingpan @enhacolor @roseandtulips @woweewoowa @magnummagnussen @happy-nico @architect-2015 @hiireadstuff @biancathecool @scorpiomindfuck @stinkyjax
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ryndicate · 1 year
Text
Double Down ⨳ Yoshida, Denji
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“Didn’t know you were into that stuff.”
warnings: fem body/pronouns, nudes posted without permission, drug use, exhibition, creampie, videos taken with permission, stepcest, infidelity, masturbation, handjob, some spit mentions, premature ejac, implied fuckery, implied theft, if there's more i am just too wacked out to see it so lemme know!
event: @bastardblvd 's slimeball alley collab !! my first submission of who knows how many to come, im gonna try to not go crazy with it, promise
notes: didn't realize until it was done that I could've made it much more slimy but its okay. We'll get 'em next time babes 😩 this idea is expanding on a little blurb I put in cassie's inbox once, i included it in the fic itself with some itty bitty changes
By expanding, you are consenting to viewing adult/dark content, and all warnings listed above. 18+ Minors DNI
Blog Rules/DNI
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Your fist slams on the bathroom door. “I swear to god, Denji! Where the fuck did you get those! Delete them now!”
“I already told you, Power found them online!” Your stepbrother yells back through the door, keeping his weight against the handle so that you can’t force your way in.
“You’re full of shit you fucking perv! You took them off my phone or something.”
“Wanna fucking bet? The real perv is that prettyboy bastard you call baby,” Denji sneers back, yelping as you get a good shove in on the creaking wood.
Your efforts to break the bathroom door pause. “The hell’re you talking about?”
“I told you he was trouble the day you two met. What—you think I was lying?”
You growl under your breath at the barenecked taunt in Denji’s voice. Yeah he told you, one time before he got high out of his mind. The only reason you even met Yoshida Hirofumi was because he hooked your stepbrother up a couple times, and you begged to tag along once. That situation ended with your brother counting stars on his buddy’s ceiling while you saw them on the backs of your eyelids with the guy’s lips wrapped around your clit. 
One thing led to another, and that “prettyboy bastard” became your boyfriend. He’s a bit of an ass, but Yoshida’s also sweet and funny, doesn’t roll his eyes at your music choices, doesn’t bat an eye when you want to go out with your friends, and is full of sexy, smirky sass that makes him so fun to be around. Sure, you sent him some photos, but he wouldn’t have put them out anywhere.
Your anger deflates, but your indignance does not. You step away from the bathroom door. “He’s got nothing to do with this.”
Denji throws the door open with a toothy grin, repeating himself. “You wanna bet?”
“You know what, yeah!” you snap at him, crossing your arms as he leans in the doorway, still looking smug. 
“Your boyfriend put your pics up on OnlyFans, and he’s using the money to pay for his xanny. If I’m right, you two gotta upload a video. Together,” Denji states, his eyebrows furrowed in twisted delight that makes you sneer at him.
“You’re disgusting!”
“Yeah? Tell me what you get if you win.”
Caught up in his childish bullshit, you push at his shoulder. “You gotta start an OnlyFans if you’re wrong, which you are. And you gotta wear lingerie.”
His smirk full drops at that, and he glares at you, cheeks darkerning. “Now who’s a perv.”
“This whole shit was your idea!”
“Lingerie?”
“How is wearing lingerie worse than telling your stepsister to fuck and post a video about it?!”
“Shut up!”
“And since we’re on the topic, I swear to god if you don’t stop taking my shit out of the laundry I’m gonna tell that redheaded lady at the DMV that she’s at the very top of your fap list.”
His blush deepens and he palms your face backwards in a light push. “The fuck she is. Shut up.”
“Yeah well, me and the thin fucking walls in this apartment would have to disagree.”
“Go find your boyfriend.”
“‘M gonna.”
“Fuck you.”
“Fuck you.”
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“Fuck him,” you hiss in barely supressed rage, gripping your boyfriend’s phone so tight you’re disappointed when it doesn’t crack. 
You’d waited for his high to hit him and let him drift off before going through his phone—what’s the point of asking him outright if it’s not true, right? No reason to stir the pot. But your stomach had dropped with unease when the account site was in his search history; you tried to brush it off as maybe he gets off to a set of camgirls, but the moment you saw the login info presaved—as in frequent entry—you began to forget the bet altogether.
Now your jaw is clenched, seething as you scroll through every racy picture you ever sent him. Each have thousands of views, hundreds of comments and jeez—so many subscribers. The heat of betrayal simmers through you. Your jaw drops at the total that’s set to drop into his account at the end of the week and resist the urge to slap Yoshida awake, but instead you set about trying to change the banking and login info, only to get halted by an infowall. Frustrated, you slip off the bed and call your stepbrother, edging into Yoshida’s bathroom so you don’t wake him up.
“You were right, and you fucking knew it, didn’t you? You set me up.” you hiss into the device as soon as he picks up with a mumbled ‘sup. You can hear voices and music in the background, paired with light explosions. You assume he’s out with his friends, probably gaming like usual. 
“You didn’t have to agree. Wait—” there’s the sound of the phone moving around and suddenly the music is gone. “Does that mean you’re gonna do it?”
“That’s besides the point, Denji!”
“Oh fuck, you are!”
“Chill your boner,” you snap, “‘m not gonna do it unless you help me!”
“Help you? What, like you want me to hold the camera or something?”
“Denji, I swear to god—”
“I’m kidding, jeez.”
“I can’t change the account info. They’re my pictures, and they’re already out there! He shouldn’t get to make money off of me.”
“Wait, so you want to keep the account?” He asks curiously. You hear a door slamming and wonder if he’s still moving, or if his friends are.
“Dude, we’ll have rent and anything else covered for the whole month with a single week’s drop from this thing. I don’t see a reason not to. I can quit Mcdonald’s!”
“Shit, for real? Lemme talk to Denki, ‘m pretty sure he knows a guy.”
“Thank you,” you coo into the phone.
“Yeah, yeah, just make sure you pay up.” You can hear his pervy smile, and you grumble a sulky fine at him.
“Ok. But he’s gotta do it soon. It pays out in a couple of days.”
“I’ll give him some cash to see if he can do it tonight. Don’t see why he’d say no—" Denji sounds a lot further away from the phone now, "—Oi! Don't bro! Give it back."
A familiar voice purrs into the receiver and you roll your eyes. "Heyyy, princess. You with that Yoshida guy still or are we allowed to hang now?"
"Byeee, Kiri. Tell Kat hi f'me." You hang up with a smile and leave the bathroom, glaring at your supposed boyfriend still sleeping. You never heard him say he was working and you always kinda wondered where he was getting his cash, but you always just thought he was dealing or something. Not the kind of think you ask about. You obviously should’ve asked.
You crawl into his lap and begin sucking on his exposed throat, admiring the sharp lines, the bob of his adam’s apple as thick lashes flutter open. 
“Mmm,” Yoshida moans. “Damn, was I out long?”
“Nah,” you hum, slipping your fingers up his shirt, smoothing over his waistline. “Got bored without you, that’s all.”
“Yeah, baby?” He grins up at you, dark eyes fuzzed out and sultry, and his hands come up to settle on your hips, easing you into a slow grind. “Wanna do something?”
“Mm. Maybe,” you tease softly, pushing his shirt up his chest and leaning down to wrap your lips around his nipples. He groans at the warm, slick suction, arching into your touch. 
“Fuck, baby,” he breathes out, his cock swelling beneath you. 
“Maybe I wanna do something…different.”
Yoshida grins up at you, half-lidded. “Yeah? Like what?”
Your nails make pink lines down his chest as you lean in to whisper in his ear. “What if you fucked me, and we let some people watch?”
His fingers dig into the fat of your waist, his dick thumping beneath you. “Anyone I know?”
Yoshida’s pupils have overtaken his coal irises, and you give him an inviting smile. “No one specific. I was thinking more like…a video or something. I wanna be able to see it later.”
“Holy fuck, baby. That’s sexy,” Yoshida grins up at you. “Didn’t know you were into that stuff.”
“Me either,” you breath softly, rocking yourself over his covered erection.
You’re left to yelp as he displaces you from your seat on his lap and pulls you out of the bed by your wrist with a wide smirk. “Come on.”
“Wait, where are we going?”
“Don’t worry baby, I just wanna pick something up at the Malmart first.”
“Fine, I guess,” you pout at him and his smirk only grows.
“‘S okay, baby. I’ll give you something too.”
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“This is not what I meant when I said video, Hirofumi!” you gasp out. Your fingers are splayed out on the hood of his car as you try to stay upright. “Someone could actually see us!”
"If you don't wanna be seen, you gotta cum. Cause I'm not stopping til you cum."
"Fuck, fuck please, just hurry up!" You plead, half your words caught between whines and whimpers as he pounds into you from behind, your skirt flipped over your back.
"You think I'm not fucking you like I mean it?" There's so much smile in his voice that you want to call him on his bullshit for once, but the solid smacking of his hips into yours, the head of his dick pressing as deep as it can go with every thrust quickly makes you forget what you're snapping at him for.
"Just‐just, fucking make cum– ‘fumi!" You're desperately telling yourself you don't want to be seen. It's the middle of the night, so even here, parked under the one of the many lightposts that don’t work in grimetown's 24-hour walmart parking lot, the risk of anyone seeing is slim.
But not zero. Especially with the light from his phone camera shining down on your exposed lower half. You’re like a slutty beacon for whoever might be looking this way.
"I'm working on it baby, you gotta relax." His fingers slide around your waist, brushing past your clit and forcing a frustrated whimper past your lips at the neglect, to drag them through the slick dripping obscenely from your pussy lips. It's dripping to the rusted black hood, making it glisten. He aims the camera down at them before moving it back to the way your pussy clings to his cock. "You're so fucking wet for this, you'd think the whole thing was your idea. Well, most of it was."
You don't answer him, trying to work yourself back on him, chasing that fluttering heat twisting itself tighter and tigher with each passing second.
"Good girl, look at you. Fuck, look how bad you want—"
"Oi! Get the fuck out of here before I—"
Your whole body locks up at the tired but authoritative voice that rings across the lot.
Your boyfriend calls back. "C'mon man, have a heart. Let me finish her off and I'll give you a look." Except his last syllable staggers off with a groan, broken with a laugh as his grip on your hips tightens to a bruising pressure. The vice grip of your cunt has him looking down to sees your juices gush around the girth of his cock, dripping down your thighs to dirty the hood of his car even more. The sight pushes pushes him over and he calls out again, his voice tight but smug.
"Nevermind, we're done here."
He gets one last shot of his cum dripping out of you before closing out the livefeed.
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“It’s like four in the morning,” Denji grumbles, rubbing one of his eyes as he cracks his bedroom open further at the sight of you. “Thought you were Power or somethin’, jeez.”
Denji blinks the blur from his eyes, zeroing in on your screen, and you just about hear his pupils expanding. He pulls a shaky inhale and you roll your eyes.
“Done. Bet over, and here’s your damn proof,” you grumble right back, slamming your phone against his chest and shoving your way into his bedroom to flop down into his bed. It had taken over an hour to convince Yoshida back to his place and get him to fool around enough for him to pass out and you to sneak back home.
"Also Kiri wants you to call him back. He's mad you hung up on him."
A small grin curls your lips but you don't respond, wiggling deeper into his mattress until you're comfortable.
He throws himself down in the bed next to you. “Turn on my speakers.” 
“Or you could just wear headphones, you freak.”
“Nah. Turn ‘em on.”
With an exaggerated sigh, you stretch out to reach up to his desk, turning on the bluetooth speakers that he usually uses to be a nuisance when he’s smoking. “If your dad was home, I’d kill you for this.”
“You’re not even breaking up with him, are you?” Denji chortles, ignoring your bickering. His eyes are glued to the screen as he shoves a hand into his loosened shorts. “What the fuck, you guys were outside?”
You shrug. The video’s only been up for a couple hours and it already has triple the views and donations of all the photos Yoshida has put up so far. “Looks like he’s gonna be making me lots of money, so why not? It’s the least he could do to pay me back.”
Your stepbrother doesn’t answer you, his breathing getting heavier. You close your eyes and sigh as the sounds wet sounds and your own whiny moaning starts bouncing off the walls of his room, wondering to yourself if you really sound like that or if part of you was exaggerating because of the camera. The mattress creaks every now and then as his hips jump, his arm brushing your side as he grinds into his own fist. 
You roll to face him, taking in the sound of his stuttered breaths, the muted slick sound of his fist pumping in his shorts. “So what about this gets you so riled up?”
Denji groans, stomach rippling where his shirt is pulled up around his midsection. “I’nno, it’s hot, isn’t it?”
You keep prodding, “What is? Yoshida? Or me?”
He gives a small whine that has your pulse picking up in sick interest, so you continue. “Was Power really the one to find it? Or…you were subbed to the account, weren’t you Denji?”
“Mm- maybe?”
“Shit,” you whisper to yourself, listening to your own voice begging to cum, shifting your weight onto your arm so you can look at him. A strange curiosity has taken over your body. He looks wrecked but his eyes are still on the screen. “Denji, look at me.”
Your body tingles as his eyes tear towards you, but he’s still got a hand around himself, hidden from your eyes. “Can I touch it?”
“You wanna what?” he moans, just barely, teeth digging into his lip.
“Can I jerk you off?”
You’re a little surprised when he actually hesitates. You’ve tolerated it all this time; as much as he pervs out on you, and your stuff, yet somehow he’s got a little crumb of morality left in there somewhere. And right now…you wanna kill it.
“My panties, my pictures…is this really any different?” you ask softly, sweetly, as you run with this electric current, placing your hand over his covered groin. You grin as his hand immediately goes slack at your touch and slips out of his shorts, and you get to feel for the first time how hard he is, rubbing over the smooth fabric, feeling out the shape of him.
“I mean…I guess not.” He sucks in a breath as you grip him over his shorts and give a couple experimental strokes. “B-but what about—?”
Denji’s head drops back to the pillows with a groan, phone in a death grip as you tug his waistband down, his dick slapping free. It’s pretty and slender, flushed deep red.
“What about what?”
“What about prettyboy, huh?” He finally gets it out as you spit in your hand and take him up again, stroking him steadily from base to tip, squeezing at the top with a gentle twist of your wrist. Yoshida always seemed to like it, seems like he does too. 
“That’s what you’re worried about? Not the whole stepsister thing?” You shrug. You’re still stung about Yoshida’s betrayal, so this feels like a little bit of retribution. A little bit. You still need to find more ways to make him pay first, but this is a good start. “Yeah, he’s my boyfriend, but ‘s not like you and me are dating, Denji. It’s a handjob. What’re you gonna do, marry me?”
Denji splutters and his dick throbs in your hand. “Don- Don’t say stupid shit!”
You coo at him and his lips part, panting hard as you work him faster. 
“What– haa, what if it wasn’t just a handjob? What then?” Denji gives a low moan as you settle over his lower thighs so you can gently cup his balls. They seem to tighten under your touch, before he relaxes and he tries to look at you. 
“What, like my mouth or something?” you ask playfully, leaning over and showing him your tongue, letting a strand of spit drip down to his dick.
A litany of curses tumblr from his mouth as Denji squeezes his eyes shut, fingers twisting into the pillow beneath his head as his cock jerks and shoots a load of hot sticky white into your palm, getting smeared down his throbbing shaft as you slowly work him through his high until only a couple dribbles get pressed out by a final pass of your thumb over his slit.
“Wasn’t expecting you to finish already.” You wipe your hand off on his comforter and try to ignore the throbbing in your panties. You feel like you can still imagine the slick from earlier tonight seeping out of you, but it’s as if it’s no longer enough.
“Holy fuck,” he mumbles under his breath, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes as he calms his breathing enough to raise himself up on his forearms. He watches you as you take your phone and flop down next to him. “I didn’t even get to see the rest of the video.”
“It’s online now, freak. You can watch it whenever.”
“Yeah...” 
You’re too busy trying to go through the account settings to notice the way he’s eyeing up your thighs; he hasn’t even put his dick away yet. 
“Hey,” he mutters softly, ignoring your glare when he puts a hand on your thighs and pulls them open. “If you can touch me, does that mean I get to touch you?”
Your pulse jumps and you try to keep your true thoughts hidden as you hide back behind your phone. “I guess that’s fair. If you wanted to.”
You can hear the click of Denji’s throat as he swallows, and you can’t stop the low whimper as his calloused fingers brush your inner thigh, right at the edge of your panties. 
They’re warm as they brush over the seat of your panties, timid but curious as they explore the surface, stroking over the tempting warmth and wet seeping through the thin fabric. A bolt of pleasure bursts and has your gut clenching as he swirls over your clothed clit
“H-hey, wait,” you say suddenly, nerves getting the better of you as you try to make sense of Denji taking control of your body. “It got switch but this isn’t my banking info. Is it yours?” You flip the screen towards him, and his brown eyes squint in the pale blue light.
“Uh, nah, that’s not mine.”
You mewl as he pulls your panties to the side and traces a finger through your folds, delicate, hungry. “Who did you say– mm, h-hacked the account for me?”
“I told you. M’friend Denki, his buddy did it. That purple-haired guy who works at the smoke shop.”
“The one wi—” you suck in a breath as he sinks his index finger into you. “With the tattoos?”
“Yeah him,” Denji mumbles, hardly paying attention to your words. He’s grinding against the bed as he pushes his middle in alongside it, imagining the tight squeeze around his dick instead.
Your groan is part pleasure, part dismay as you realize just who he’s talking about. “Oh fuck me.”
Denji bullies his way between your thighs in an instant.
“N-no, Den– that’s not what I meant!”
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actuallysaiyan · 1 year
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He Said To Me, "Hey, come here closer"(Gyutaru Shabana x Fem!Reader)
warnings: modern AU, jerking off, mentions of porn, Gyutaro is a pervert, pervertedness, mentions of fantasizing about reader, fellatio/male receiving oral sex
word count: 1.1k
pairings: Gyutaro Shabana x Fem!Reader
a/n: this is fully self-indulgent. I've had this idea in my head forever. Had to remove artwork cause it got flagged. Enjoy.
Read part 2 here
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You’ve been friends with Ume for what seems like forever. The two of you were causing mischief even when you were in diapers. Much to her older brother’s dismay, you are a duo not to be reckoned with. The two of you were as thick as thieves and often would cause a lot of issues and troubles for Gyutaro.
And while Gyutaro was older and usually tried to fake some sort of authority of the two of you, because Ume was prettier and cuter, she would get away with everything. This led Gyutaro to grow up fairly lonely and resented a lot of people. The only person it seemed he could stand was you most days, even if you were a little shit when you were younger.
But now that you’re all grown up, Gyutaro is starting to see you in a new light. He knew Ume would be beautiful when she got older, considering how beautiful of a baby she was, but Gyutaro wasn’t prepared for how gorgeous you are.
And you tease him, or at least you don’t mean to, but he can’t help growing hard whenever you brush up against him by accident. Or if you ruffle his hair playfully, he has to stifle back his moans. You really are becoming the object of his desires and he’s incredibly happy that you still come over to hang out with Ume. Even if he can’t make a move on you, he can still admire you closer than he ever thought he’d be able to.
One night, you and Ume are having a girl’s night in. She’s invited a few friends from her sorority to just have a big sleepover. When you arrived, Gyutaro could tell something was off about you. You didn’t seem nearly as enthusiastic as you normally would, but he doesn’t say anything more than the usual greeting he gives you.
Hours go by, and he’s just hanging out in his room. Something about having this many girls in the house, especially you, has him playing with his cock for hours. He’s watching porn on his phone, just scrolling through videos. He finds that he often goes for the ones that have “fucked my sister’s best friend” in the tags or the title. 
Soft moans fall from his chapped lips, and he has to keep licking them to get them wet. Gyutaro wishes you were in here, snuggling close and stroking his cock for him. You’d look so fucking cute, with your pouty lips and your pretty doe eyes looking up at him. He has to stop himself over and over so he doesn’t cum too quickly. He wants to have this go on for a few more hours. He can just barely make out the giggling in his sister’s room over the loud music. 
You’ve been bored for hours. Ume’s new friends aren’t any fun and they all worship her like she is some sort of god. None of them are funny either, even though they’ve all been giggling together for a while. You decide to get up and go to the bathroom and get yourself a snack.
Once you leave the bathroom, you pass by Gyutaro’s door. Something about this makes you stop. You haven’t checked in on him in a while. You always liked Gyutaro. He was always just “Ume’s weird older brother” to a lot of people, but you were always so fascinated by him. He was the guy who showed you the cool anime growing up, the deep horror films, and the really awesome rock music you loved to listen to still to this day. For a long time, you even thought you might be crushing on him. You just knew it would never work.
Something made you go into that room, and you gasp loudly when you see him on the bed, still stroking his leaking cock. Need pools in your lower tummy, almost like someone has lit a fire inside of you. He groans at you, throwing a pillow in your direction and telling you to get out. He’s more than mortified. But all you do is close and lock the door behind you.
“Looks like you could use a hand,” you say seductively. You saunter over to him and crawl onto the bed.
Gyutaro is frozen to the spot. He had imagined this scenario a million and one times, but he never thought it would ever come true. Finally, he thinks that this could be his shot. But the thought of you potentially humiliating him and mortifying him even more is worse. So he covers himself up, and you pout.
“Come on, Gyu~, can’t I have a little taste?”
Your words make him groan. His cock throbs with need. Your pretty lips are slick with lip gloss. The same kind you’ve been using for years. You claim it tastes and smells like cherries. He’d love to be able to finally get a taste of you.
“What? You wanna suck my cock?” He asks, a smug grin on his face.
“Been wanting to for a long time.”
He can’t believe the words that are coming out of your mouth. How long had he been jerking off? Surely he’s just dreaming and fantasising about this. There is just no way this could be true.
He whimpers pathetically when you grasp his thick, long cock and begin stroking it. You giggle softly at his response, and you lean in to kiss his lips. He’s so happy he finally gets to taste that cherry lip gloss you always wear. You’re right, it most definitely tastes like cherries. It only makes his cock throb even harder.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting this, Gyu.” You whisper in his ear before kissing his neck. Your hands are so soft as you stroke his leaking cock. “I’ve always wanted you.”
His heart is pounding in his chest. He swears he’ll cum too fast if you don’t stop. But he doesn’t even want to stop you. He’s been edging for hours.
But it’s when you finally wrap your pretty lips around his throbbing cockhead, that’s when he loses it. Gyutaro throws his head back and moans your name loudly, pushing you down further onto his cock. Spurts of hot, thick cum slide down your throat with ease. You moan at his taste, and you can feel the stickiness between your thighs get even worse at this point.
He sobs and whimpers as you continue to suck him well past his orgasm. When you finally pull off of him and look up, he swears you look like an angel right now.
“How about we switch now? Wanna lick my pussy, Gyu?”
He doesn’t need to be asked twice.
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spdrslayr · 10 months
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003. atsv headcanons ! ★ pre collider jonathon ohnn x reader…
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! pt. 2 - post collider hcs. ⁀➷ srcs... masterlist .rules. intro .
| synopsis, ୨♡୧ a little glimpse into your relationship with dr. johnathon ohnn.
★ tags -> gender neutral reader; johnathon ohnn; the spot; fluff; etc...
★ warnings -> cursing; johnathon being a meanie; mentions of trauma & abandonment
★ w.c -> 1,028
| xox, mei! ୨♡୧ -> earlier a centipede got into my room while i was bopping out to hyperpop. it scared me so much that i was able to leverage the fear into energy for writing.
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he loves to make you laugh. johnathon’s such a  goof compared to other renowned scientists of his age and caliber. really, it’s a breath of fresh air. he knows how to have fun, especially with you.  he’ll crack the funniest joke at work only for his coworkers to look at him like: 😐😐😐; so it makes him really happy to know you think he’s funny. you both have so many inside jokes n stories that you’ll cherish forever.
he’s totally the type of person to make jokes whenever he’s nervous or unsure of what to say. he won you over by being silly!
he’ll say the meanest jokes about people you both don’t like, and it’s insanely funny. you think of your johnny as the sweetest boyfriend- but you have to admit, it’s kinda hot when he’s mean.
“if mr.fisk keeps crying about the mets- i’m gonna make sure this collider kills us all,” he grumbled under his breath.
“that annoying photographer visited alchemax again. what was his name…” he feigned innocence. “piper pickle?”
johnathon is such a nerd. it’s adorable how excited he gets about his favorite video games and movies. please indulge in his geeky interests!! he’d love love LOVE to watch some of his favorite sci-fi movies with you. he’ll talk over the entire movie, but it’s still nice to cuddle.
 if you don’t know how to play a certain video game of his, he’ll teach you. his voice is so soft n understanding, his breath tickling you while you cuddle. johnathon’s squished to your side, his large hands covering n guiding yours over the controller. and gets so giddy when you win something. all in all, he’s just happy to share something so dear to him with you.
imagine if it turned out one of his favorite characters (crushes cough cough) bore a striking resemblance to you. johnathon is mortified and you’re weirdly flattered (and planning an elaborate cosplay for a surprise.)
his intelligence drives you nuts. it’s INSANELY attractive to you how smart johnathon is. whenever he goes on a tangent about physics or some complicated mathematical concept, you get kind of dizzy listening to him. you don’t mean to, but after a while, you get too distracted by all of him to listen. he’s so passionate, his large hands and long fingers waving about to help emphasize his point. his eyes are sparkling too. his voice got a lot deeper when he (perfectly, by the way) pronounced the word “viscoelasticity” and you’re on cloud 9. this happens whether or not you can understand a word he’s saying. and if you’re not well versed in science, he never talks down to you when rambling. sure, he’s very proud to be a super-genius, but he’d never dream of looking down on other people because of it. 
you’re always asking him questions and he fucking loves it. DON’T ASK GOOGLE ABOUT SCIENCE SHIT. if you do he’ll be all pouty n sad.
“hey siri, what is the shape of an electron-”
he looks furious, letting out a scoff. “i’m right here. your smart-ass boyfriend is only a few feet away and you’re asking ol’ googly eyes!”
despite being a busy workaholic, he insists that he’s never too busy for you. if necessary, he’ll make time.
johnathon’s made it his mission to outsmart anyone who impresses you. “i’m not jealous i’m BETTER.”
johnathon adores cuddling you, especially after a stressful day. he just loves you so much that sometimes the only way he can express that to you is by holding you as close as humanly possible. johnathon adores every inch of your being and intends to appreciate every part of it, scars and all. one may expect him to be the big spoon because, well, long man- but it goes either way. sometimes he clutches you like his life depends on it and other times he just needs to bask in your embrace. it makes him feel safe, loved, and on his worst days, invincible.
when in bed, he’ll be running his big hands up and down your sides, rubbing circles into every dent n curve. his hands are hairy, so it’ll tickle a bit, but the way he massages you is nothing short of masterful. he’s so happy that you’re his, so he makes sure to savor you.
johnny loves it when you trace his tattoos. he thinks it’s so cute how much you love them, letting you ‘oooh’ and ‘awww’ as much as your pretty little heart desires. 
in the past he absolutely loathed going to alchemax events. being choked by a black tie for a whole ass evening while being forced to mingle with rich assholes is a nightmare for the poor man. but having you come along as his date makes the experience a more positive one. johnathon gets so smug, always delighted to show you off. like yeah, that’s MY s/o. yes they’re gorgeous and taken. by ME. he loves seeing you all dressed up, especially when you’re on his arm.
he’s an introvert, so he gets tired of all the socializing quickly. when that happens, he’ll wander around the venue with you (including places you aren’t allowed to be at-) to get some privacy (and make out.)
speaking of work, he has a picture of you on his desk. he has it placed at an angle so he can see it clearly, but so can anyone who walks in. 
johnnys practically screaming: “hey!! look at how beautiful my partner is!!!!”
he calls you baby. he’ll also call you dear, honey, and sweetheart, but baby the most. also counting babe. johnathon has a shit ton more cute nicknames for you and he is NOT afraid to use them.
“g’morning, baby,” he’ll murmur into the crook of your neck, in between sloppy wet kisses on your shoulder.
he passes by you in a rush, but not without pressing a big wet kiss to your check, “hi babe! :)”
“baaaaaabe where did you put the chips?” he can be whiny, especially with you.
“i love you, baby,” he’d tell you softly, cradling your face with his hand. his thumb is rubbing your bottom lip and you’re ready to faint.
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