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dharmadischarge · 3 years

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Top 5 Novels: or it gets dark around here early.

So now I am trying to say something. That is all. No, that will not do at all... Here is a list of my top 5 novels, with one short review and four long ones.

1, Jim Dodge - Stone Junction. Reading Stone Junction by Jim Dodge is like meeting the father you never had

2, Thomas Pynchon - Gravity's Rainbow Subtlety is overrated... and just because you have a boner doesn't mean you're a terrorist. I mean, it doesn't mean you're not causing those rockets to come from the sky. But, still, that is beside the point.

For me, this book is about obliterating the arbitrary distinction between high and low culture. The ironically arbitrary distinction between good and evil and the dangerously subtle distinction between despondency and hope.

Fractured, layered, elusive, you could accuse Pynchon of all these things.

The way characters bleed into one another to make one voice. A hellish symphony of discordant cries of pain reaching out to a belief that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and paranoia is the glue.

Also, it is funny. Like in a dumb way and there are songs. Also, dumb.

Everyone will talk about how polarising this book is but I don't believe it. you can follow the bouncing ball and sing along or live in fear that at any moment the terror will become real and you will collapse into ellipsis...

It is the third and newer testament. An epilogue to western culture as racist cultural energy written by a crazy white guy. T.S. Elliot and his wasteland were a prelude, in hindsight, nothing but a john the baptist-like figure for the cross that Pynchon presents to all readers as their burden to carry with this book.

Hope is crazy painful, consciousness is such a fragile thing and the burden of consciousness is the pain of knowing that (beyond the act of effort itself) it is a futile one.

Jim Dodge once said, "a stone falls till it hits the earth, transcend what?" and that about sums it up.

3, Cormac McCarthy - Blood Meridian.

Blood Meridian is a kind of repetitious, primeval-hillbilly level of primitive interpretation of the morality expressed in the book of revelation fighting its way onto the page as barely literate poetry.

It is not a book of social niceties, justice, or the warm feeling you get when you do something good. also, this book could also easily be seen as porn for serial killers.

I scanned the reviews and saw all the campy (and not the good kind of campy) parodies this kind of book inspires in the age of irony we live in (though it seems like it is on its last legs). And while I like me a good parody, I find that Eli Cash did it better.

There is something to be said about how Cormac McCarthy (ab)uses the English language. The one good line I read from one of the negative reviews of his books was that a middle schooler could list what he doesn't like about the kids who bully him and that this list would have more emotional nuance and better use of punctuation than a Cormac McCarthy novel. This is fair.

The conceptional power of Blood Meridian though is that it frames cruelty and violence for what it is: reality. While also through its sometimes monotonous exaggeration of William Faulkners styled repetitions it creates a sense of unreality. A sense that like David Lynch's best work that we are walking, daily, through something so evil and violent that it borders on slapstick, and at last we laugh in self-defense.

I think the people who parody the book without much thought got trapt in the intellectual self-defense state that is part of coping and couldn't see the forest for the trees.

Civilization is a fragile thing, it is the human race trying to domesticate itself, and the longer it goes on the more it seems like we're just sweeping what we don't like under the rug.

4, John Crowley - Little, Big.

There is a kind of hokey-Americana style kitsch that most of my favorite writers could be accused of, from, Tom Robbins to Jim Dodge. John Crowley may be the peak of it. It could be because on the surface Americans don't have a unified culture we are a melting pot with capitalism only encouraging the lowest common denominator (the pursuit of greed as its own reward).

But in any creative act that does not presume to be the literal expression of anything but pure gratitude, there is politics. The politics of worth, of greatness, inherent value, and the desire to prove that the wisdom offered was truly earned. That a difficult pleasure does not mean that there is none.

This is an American fairytale. A once upon a time that seems eerily to remind of another Crowley, that codesigned the deck of Thoth tarot cards (A really good one for those curious) more than the writers of magical realism. And probably because I didn't read this in translation I preferred it to a hundred years of solitude. This may seem random to people of the fantasy crowd who know that genre is only a limitation to artistic merit if you want it to be (usually for cultural-political reasons). but people often compare this book to Gabriel Garcia Marquez's writing. And while they are both family chronicles with supernatural elements. this is kind of a shallow comparison.

Crowley's work is more in the tradition of an occult mystic, and Gabo is more a romantic using personal folklore as the vocabulary of that romantic expression (of which I think love in the time of cholera, is his masterpiece).

I am trying to not give away any spoilers, or even talk about specifics at all. but the ending is worth it. Like most things in life, it's your journey to go on so I won't ruin it for you, but they are out there waiting for you, where the lights never go out.

5, Neil Gaiman - The Ocean at the End of the Lane.

"words save our live's sometimes"

I was a frustrated borderline feral child, who could not deal with reality. My parents taught me how to read and not much else. I was homeschooled and weighed three hundred pounds by the time I was thirteen. I remember one night unable to deal with any more abuse that I laid down and decided my dreams would have to be enough, I close my eyes and went away for a long time. Lettie Hempstock's ocean is real to me I almost drowned in it.

When I was a teenager the cult-like fundamentalist atmosphere of my home life became less extreme, but the damage was done. I was still in the ocean. it says something about my state of mind that the closest I came to getting traction on reality was starting a habit of reading insistently, my favorite book was Stardust by Neil Gaiman.

Once on Twitter, I told him "thank you" for writing it. I later after reading this book I wrote a short review of this book and sent it to him. He said "thank you" to me in a @ mention. It was nice. I later @ mentioned him in a playfully sarcastic way and he deleted his original comment.

I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia when I was twenty-four or twenty-five. I have been told I had childhood-onset schizophrenia. I have been told I milk it. I have been told that I self isolate.

I have been writing reviews tonight, going through my favorite books, and just live streaming my mind. Thinking about how they made me feel and what they make me think. Neil Gaiman's work always makes my brain retreat on itself. Possibly because of stardust. But more than that it is the wisdom he has. He knows that stories are true in a way that transcends a mere list of facts. communicating for those with an ear to listen that there is more than what we know, there is more than our understanding, there is more than us. More than you, more than me. There is an ocean that is healing for some while necessarily absent for others.

We forget, and we remember. Each other and ourselves. Cruelty and innocence. But there is an ocean and it is Lettie Hempstock's.

#literature #gothic literature #top 5 anything #top 5 list #top five novels #top 5 novels #fiction #literary criticism #literary critique #fantasy #scififantasy #western #postmodern #thomas pynchon #john crowley #neil gaiman #jim dodge #cormac mccarthy

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destieltropecollection · 4 years

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Destiel Trope Collection Day 25: Slow Burn

The difference between living and existing (WIP) | @lucy-is-alive

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6052 Main Tags/Warnings: John Winchester's A+ parenting, College AU, Sexuality crisis, PTSD, Childhood trauma, Recreational drug use, Angst and hurt/comfort Summary: As soon as he got the chance, Dean left his father behind and went to college. However, he never anticipated that the absence of the person who had disrupted his entire life would make it worse. With the help of his friends, he tries to navigate through the emotional hurricane that comes with complex PTSD.

Celestial | @deservetobesaved

Rating: Mature Word Count: 10585 Main Tags/Warnings: slow burn, mutual pining, fluff, emotional affair, bottom!dean Summary: Dean is in a less than stellar marriage, but he assumes things will work themselves out. At the same time, Mr. Castiel Novak becomes his new co-worker at school and Dean has to rethink everything he thought he had figured out.

Welcome to the Badlands (WIP) | @cr-noble-writes

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 15386 Main Tags/Warnings: graphic violence, dystopian au, fusion, into the badlands au, slow burn Summary: The wars were so long ago, nobody even remembers. Darkness and fear ruled until the time of the Barons, seven men and women who forged order out of the chaos. People flocked to them for protection. That protection became servitude. They banished guns and trained armies of lethal fighters they called Clippers. This world is built on blood. Nobody is innocent here. Welcome to the Badlands.

Profound Kisses | @verobatto-angelxhunter

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 20700 Main Tags/Warnings: Destiel, post 8x07 canon divergent, mutual pining, explicit sexual content, angst with a happy ending, clueless! Castiel, pining!Dean, Top!Dean, Bottom!Cas, slow burn, love confessions, first kiss, french kiss, Sammy knows. Summary: Dean knows he's screwed. He discovers he is in love with Castiel in Purgatory, and now he can't even have the angel in front of him, because he knows it's a one sided love. It’s Valentine's day and Dean tries very hard to hook up as always, but he can't get Cas out of his mind. So he drives back to the motel, drunk, and he finds Castiel trying to help him. Then, when Dean asks Castiel for some experimental kisses and the angel accepts, Dean starts a very dangerous game… finding in Castiel's kisses the most delicious experiences, but also, his own perdition. Will Castiel fall in love with him? Or will he stay emotionless as always?

Hate me, but love me too | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 23310 Main Tags/Warnings: Virgin!Dean,f hate spell, hate curse, younger!dean, older!sam, Grace Sharing, First Kiss, First Time, Hate Sex, Dubious Consent, Mildly Dubious Consent, Cas is cursed, (not really MCD but Cas isn't alive in the beginning), Castiel has sex with somebody else in the beginning(and Dean sees it), Heartbreakbut I will fix it! Summary: Dean’s whole life changes when his mother tells him that John isn’t his biological father and he needs to save the world from his sibling Adam, who is the King of Hell. But he can’t do that alone, he needs the best Hunter earth had, Castiel Novak.

Starstruck (WIP) | @peanutbutterjelly-pie

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 40860 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Slow Burn, Actor Dean, Single Parent Castiel, Pining Summary: From the outside Castiel Novak looks like a regular guy: a good job, two teenage kids, a nice house and a crappy car he’s way too attached to. But there’s one thing no one knows about him: that, over twenty years ago, he used to live next to no other than Dean Winchester – back then a brash and loud-mouthed boy and nowadays a huge movie star and Hollywood’s sweetheart. Castiel never bothered to tell anyone about his childhood friend because frankly, who would believe him? Probably even Dean himself already forgot about his former awkward and weird neighbor, so Castiel seriously doesn’t see any point in mentioning the whole thing ever. But then an interview on national TV happens where Dean reveals way more about his past than ever before … and Castiel - as well as the rest of the world - suddenly realizes that he left a much bigger impact on Dean’s life than he originally thought.

Letter to Dean Winchester (WIP) | @castielsangel-blade

Rating: Mature Word Count: 44182 Main Tags/Warnings: Past Lisa/Dean, Past Aaron/Dean, Past Castiel/Dean, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Mentions of Past Cheating, Mentions of Past Toxic Relationship, Gray Romantic Castiel, Asexual Castiel, Epistolary, Bisexual Dean Summary: Castiel writes and sends a letter to Dean Winchester. He wants closure for the toxic relationship they had in high school.

Falling Apart | @cr-noble-writes

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 49204 Main Tags/Warnings: minor character death, sam deceased when fic starts, alcoholism, drug misuse, addiction, rehab au, soulmate au, flashbacks, ptsd Summary: Sword & Cross Resident Rehabilitation is a last-ditch effort for Dean Winchester to move past the drug and drinking problems he developed to bury his guilt over the fire that killed his brother. Not to mention the wild visions and smoky, sentient shadows that have plagued him his entire life. It's supposed to be the best Savannah has to offer, but one look at the crumbling tile floors and dangling crown mouldings, and Dean has his doubts. Enter Castiel Novak. He’s rude, aloof, and a total dick from the moment they lay eyes on each other but Dean can’t help but feel a mysterious connection to the man. Maybe he really has lost his mind. But when Castiel starts making appearances in Dean’s vivid visions of the past, he knows there is more to their link than meets the eye. Even if Cas keeps telling him otherwise. It seems everyone at Sword & Cross knows what’s going on except for Dean. Trying to conquer his mountain of guilt and doubt and figure out the connection he is certain he shares with Castiel is only made harder by the “accidents” that seem to follow him. Not to mention his attraction to Gadreel. Whatever secret Castiel is trying so hard to keep, Dean knows he has to uncover it.

Will you be my ten inch hero? | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 57468 Main Tags/Warnings: Bullying, Homophobic Language, Abusive John Winchester, Canon-Typical Violence, Smut, giving a baby to adoption (not between Destiel), Rape/Non-con Elements, John kicked Dean out, Virgin!Dean, surprise guest appereance, Minor Crowley (Supernatural)/Bobby Singer, Minor Charlie Bradbury/Jo Harvelle, Minor Rowena MacLeod/Gabriel, two surprise pairings, not Ketch or Mick Davies friendly Summary: When John Winchester kicks Dean out, after he saw him kissing another boy, and Dean sees that Sam has a perfect life at Stanford without him, Dean starts a new life in Santa Cruz. He works at a tiny shop as a cook, has found some friends there, and is overall happy enough. That changes when Castiel comes into his shop and his Co-worker Azara, who has a different man every night, starts flirting with him right in front of Dean. Not that he would be jealous or anything, but there is something about Castiel that makes him weak in the knees. Only that Castiel would never want him back, right?

Roll With It | @saltnhalo

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 72818 Main Tags/Warnings: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Boss/Employee Relationship, Secretary Dean, Alternate Universe - Not Hunters, The Proposal AU, Alternate Universe, Romantic Comedy, Romance, Editor Castiel, Fluff and Angst, Sam Winchester at Stanford, POV Alternating, Geek Dean, Russian Castiel, Sharing a Bed, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Top Castiel, Bottom Dean, Misunderstandings, Tattooed Castiel, Love Confessions, Slow Burn Summary: For two years, Dean’s been slaving away beneath his boss – many label him a secretary, but he fucking hates that and feels like it only applies to someone wearing a pencil skirt, so he insists on his title of Executive Assistant. And for what? In the vain hope that one day he’ll manage to become an editor for Sandover Publishing, and that he’ll see the manuscript that he’s slaved over since college finally realized in print. That’s the dream, anyway. Right now, he’s fucking late. Dean wants to be an editor. Castiel just wants to stay in the country. ‘The Proposal’ – as you’ve never seen it before.

When the Magnolias bloom (WIP) | @flurryflair

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 92951 Main Tags/Warnings: slow burn, angst with a happy ending, mutual pining, human!Castiel, divorce, infidelity, middle aged destiel, explicit sexual content, top Castiel/bottom Dean Winchester, top Dean Winchester/bottom Castiel, POV alternating, unresolved sexual tension, denial of feelings, porn with feelings, anxiety attacks, manipulative relationship, unhealthy coping mechanisms, canon-typical violence, case fic, bisexual!Dean, demisexual!Castiel, semi-canon, minor Castiel/OMC, minor Dean Winchester/Lisa Braeden Summary: It's been ten years since the Apocalypse. Ten years without talking, without knowing one another. Castiel has a company to handle and a wedding to plan, Dean has a broken marriage and a decision to make. They have separate lives, lovers and families of their own, they aren't supposed to meet again, to mess it all up. And yet they do, when they least expect it, and maybe when they most need it. A story about second chances, about hope and resilience, and a love that feels both doomed and inevitable.

Unsung Melody (WIP) | @toomanyships-sendhelp

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 177617 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Character Death, AU Slaves, Slow Burn Summary: Dean runs a busy bar and grill in Lebanon, Kansas. Semi-retired from hunting, he'll still catch a case when one blows his way or the urge to hunt strikes him again. It isnt until a case that opened decades ago claims another victim and Dean has to get back in the game a little more than he expected.

#destiel trope collection 2020 #destiel trope collection #destiel #slow burn #day 25

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vvakarians · 3 years

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World lore and Arc 1 Character lore from Melrose: City of Monsters! This world is a story that myself and my boyfriend @thecoffeerain

Maxime and Victor belong to my boyfriend!

Charlie’s Twitter | Charlie’s P a t r e o n

Info under the cut!

ABOUT MELROSE: CITY OF MONSTERS

Melrose is a city just south of New York City in America, it’s a small town that is unassuming at first but is filled with dark secrets. Vampires, witches, werewolves, and humans exist together, though in a vaguely dysfunctional way. The government broke the news about vampires and werewolves only five years previous, though they’ve lived in society for far longer than that. At this point people are getting used to them living among the human population, but knowledge about magic is still kept under wraps. Vampirism, lycanthropy, and magic comes from a disease that is both highly contagious and genetic. Once you have it, you have it for life, eternal or not.This information is primarily for the first arc. MC information will be updated with each arc.

MAIN CHARACTERS OF MELROSE: CITY OF MONSTERS

Father Charles ‘Charlie’ Larousse-Robineau

Pronouns: They/them

Occupation: ‘Priest’

Bloodline: Vampire, former Human, Crowley Lineage

Maker: Belladonna Crowley, the Duchess

Origin: New Orleans, Louisiana, USA

Love Interest: Victor Talbot

Father Robineau is a charming and well traveled individual, having been born in the 1860’s to a fur merchant and his musician wife. A tragedy struck the family in the early 1880’s when Charlie’s father snapped after a fight between them, and he supposedly killed both Charlie’s younger brother Jean Marie, as well as their mother, brutally with an axe. Charlie barely got out alive, killing their father in self defense. After getting medical attention they fled to England, hoping that their extended family would take them in.When they didn’t, Charlie settled in Whitechapel, hired by a brothel to be a charlatan, medic, and overall fluffer for the girls there. It is there where they fell in love with a woman named Lilith Brown, or Lily, as she preferred. They were best friends and messed around with each other, but Lily turned their courtship down. Sad but understanding, Charlie continued to work as a charlatan, only to watch as their friends would begin dying one by one. People suspected Jack the Ripper and would lend no help to the people affected. As we know, the killer was not caught, and unfortunately one of the last to be taken would be Lily.Whether it was Jack, or a copycat, Charlie was determined to figure out who it was. Driven near mad by grief, Charlie called out to anything that would listen while attending the autopsy of Lily. Who would show up would not be their savior, but their Devil. A woman calling herself the Duchess. She promised Charlie power to find the person who harmed their friends in exchange for a favor at a later date. Charlie was then sacrificed on an altar far below Whitechapel, but to what goddess or entity, they did not know. All they know is that they were opened up much like the corpses on the autopsy tables in the morgue, and then drained of all blood, turned into a bloodthirsty monster. Then abandoned on the streets. After becoming feral and accidentally slaying two people, Charlie turned themself in, though they were quickly turned over to the Vampiric Council of the United Kingdom. This is where they were rehabilitated by Delilah Ainsworth and her husband Aegis Stone, then allowed to return to the USA. Though it was still hard to find a food source and the only thing they could think of to get a large group, but not have to worry about too many people finding out -- was build a congregation. This of course backfired and they made more of a cult than anything, and one of their cult members developed an unhealthy obsession with them. His name was Cedric.When Charlie saw what they had created and tried to disband the cult, Cedric intervened, but a few weeks afterwards Charlie would poison his blood supply with silver, enabling them to flee. After that they never saw Cedric again and would go on to serve in World War II before settling down in Melrose in the 1940’s, creating the cathedral they now work in, St Januarius’, but making sure that a cult never happens again. Thankfully with blood bags it’s become less of an issue.Their life changes though when a man named Victor walks into their church…

Victor Talbot

Pronouns: He/him or they/them

Occupation: Sex worker / Artist / Cat Wrangler

Origin: Sussex, England, United Kingdom

Love Interest: Charlie Robineau

Victor is the only child born to a surgeon and an art lecturer. He spent quite a bit of time with his mother who taught him all about Hinduism and the ways of their culture. As a child and throughout his school life he was bullied for being larger than his peers; this made him quite shy and destroyed his self esteem. He did find a love of dance though when he would watch Bollywood films with his mother at home, and then at school he got involved in modern dance. Though it was in secret, as he did not want his peers to bully him further. As he kept at it, Victor lost weight and began eating better, becoming how he’s seen today. Which of course gained him attention and popularity where there was none before.

While studying medicine, as his father had proclaimed he would as all of the men of his family had, Victor found that he could help people by giving them the medicine they needed but couldn’t necessarily afford. He then began to sell narcotics to addicts to cover the cost of the extravagant lifestyle forced upon him by his peers. A tragic accident occurred when the man he was seeing stole from his stash and OD’d, then was brought to the hospital where Victor was doing his residency. Victor did try to save his life but the man ended up dying. Of course he came clean about it to his dad, who was the chief of surgery at the hospital, but Victor’s dad told him to keep quiet about it lest he lose his job. Unfortunately, the damage was done and Victor became haunted by the loss of life at what he believed was his hands. Unable to cope with what he had caused, he began to take the pills he used to sell and became hooked. After a severe mental break having spent too many hours on shift he was suspended and dismissed from the program, now having to deal with being haunted continuously with what he’d done.

He would then fall into a drug spiral where he stole his father’s script pad, implicating him in his stealing, which got his father suspended. During this time he began taking street drugs and getting involved in the party scene, all to whisk him away from the trauma he suffered. This cycle only stopped when a tragedy happened for a second time. Another man he had been seeing died while they were together, and he woke up to his lifeless body in the bed. It’s here that Victor blacks out and does not have much memory of, only remembers waking up in the hospital and being convinced to go to rehab.

After being released and having his parents hovering over him every second of the day, he relapsed, then was cut off by his mother and father. He would then sell all of his belongings, or what he could, and bought a ticket to America where he would be picked up by the infamous Red in Melrose, New York. It would be here that he’d meet Father Robineau at the St. Januarius Cathedral…

Hazel Coldbrook

Pronouns: They/he

Occupation: Personal Assistant + Receptionist

Origin: Manhattan, New York City, New York, USA

Love Interest: Maxime St. Martin

Hazel was adopted at the age of six by a Jewish doctor and a First Nations professor of linguistics at one of the universities in New York. He was put into the system after his father lost custody following a terrible car accident that killed his mother. He did have two younger siblings that were sent to different homes, he never saw them afterward. Hazel did have an older adopted sister named Morgan, who was often cruel and rude to him. She got him into a lot of trouble and often got him bullied by other children at school, more than he already was. It didn’t help that he was starting to have issues seeing and hearing things, on top of paranoid delusions.

His parents did their best to set him up as much as they could, and he did get better eventually. Therapy and medication got him on the right track, though his night terrors do plague him still. Once he went away to college, Morgan was cut off from the family around the same time after she was arrested for violent breaking and entering. They didn’t see her for a while after that, though at one point she did make a brief appearance. Morgan chased after him and one night broke into his dorms while he was with his girlfriend, Willow. She was killed after trying to wrestle Morgan away from him, and he was bitten by Morgan. Thankfully, he survived, but he did find out that his sister had been turned into a vampire.

Charlie found him in the dorm shortly after the attack, having gone hunting during a blood bag shortage. They took him to the hospital and then offered him a job as a PA at their church, helping transfer all of his college credit over to the local community college where he is now studying psychology and theology. During his time in Melrose though, he begins attending drag performances at a local club and comes upon a gorgeous drag queen...

Maxime St. Martin / Enzée Bytten

Pronouns: He/him (She/her, in drag)

Occupation: Club Owner/Drag Queen

Bloodline: Vampire, former human, Seraphim Lineage

Maker: Gabriel

Origin: Saint Martin d'Oydes en Ariège Pyrénées, France

Love Interest: Hazel Coldbrook

Maxime was born in a small, self contained village where he did not leave much until his late teens. Unfortunately, the reason why he left was not a matter of simply being sick of the small village life, it was due to a much darker purpose. A man named Gabriel had come to the village and infected the residents with vampirism, causing them all to turn on each other night by night. This was but one prong in a grand scheme to build an entire army of vampiric soldiers indoctrinated with Gabriel’s radical beliefs about humans and vampires. Maxime --being young and impressionable-- followed his Maker in his footsteps, having a sort of love for him that one could only have for a Maker.

As the decades went on, Maxime would turn people he met and attempt to sway them to their side of things, but became infatuated with human culture as he went. Eventually he saw the error of his Maker’s ways and began planning a rebellion against Gabriel. Maxime even managed to convince a human soldier who he had picked up during World War II, who he would then turn after he would get severely injured. You could say the plan went off without a hitch, though there were many casualties and a lot of fighting.

Eventually he would move on to the states where he steadily sunk into his trauma, though he would find a club to make his own in Melrose. There he would build a reputation of being cold and calculating, but as Enzée he is warm and lively -- or rather she is.Le Syndicat is where Maxime would meet Hazel, who had just come to the bar for a drink…

VAMPIRES:

Vampirism, lycanthropy, and magic all come from a single source. Different strains of diseases that all come from one person, who thus far has been lost to history, as well as the war that led to the werewolves and vampires becoming tense with each other. Vampires come from the strain that needs blood to survive, but also an undead host. It attacks all systems aside from the nervous, and shuts most of them down. They do process blood but not in the same way that a human would food. Their waste system is completely cut off and their stomach has become oddly misshapen, different. It ‘digests’ the blood and filters it back through the body so that the vampire can use it as a source of energy when healing, keeping them young, and making sure their body doesn’t rot from the inside out due to their functions being cut off. The disease is parasitic in nature this way, but eventually becomes symbiotic. Vampires need blood to survive and can be affected by blood born illnesses, though never die. At least usually. In the cases of aggressive cancers and autoimmune disorders, it can kill the host, but it’s very rare. Those with vampirism can only be turned after being fed on, drained, and then made to drink the blood of a disease carrying host; be born as a Stillborn, or be born as a fully fledged vampire. They are ever immortal, cannot eat human food unless it has blood in it and even then they cannot eat a lot of it, though this is not the same for liquids, and every bloodline has a ‘feral’ type that is different from another. Reproduction is a bit of an unknown for vampires. There are creatures called Stillborns that are the successful offspring of a vampire and a human, or are the human offspring of a vampire when the disease becomes recessive. Almost always the disease is terminal and it kills them, then resurrects them from the ages 19-31. Scientists think this could be the peak age range for humans healthwise, which is why the disease stops their aging as well at that time. Otherwise, vampires can have offspring with other vampires, however it is unsure how. It could be that their reproduction systems come alive when with a compatible partner, but no one knows for sure and it isn’t full proof. Even so most vampires, just as they will do with humans to prevent possible Stillborns, will wear protection when with other vampires. It is whispered that there are ways a vampire and a werewolf could also have child, but seeing as one is dead and one is alive, that is skepticism at best. Vampires who are born from other vampires age very slowly until that 19-31 age range and then suddenly stop. They can of course be created when one is fed off of or drained, then made to drink the blood of a host. These vampires are called ‘newborns’ and are often very attached to their makers. They acquire a Bond, which is crucial for a newborn, though they don’t always get that treatment from their Maker. A newborn without a Bond will have issues trying to feed and they often become feral. If they do form a Bond, they will feel drawn to their Maker for decades if not for life. Some may need extra care and attention, even touch when they’ve been turned. The stage when a newborn becomes a stable vampire varies from bloodline to bloodline. Becoming feral is usually something a vampire wants to avoid. It happens when they are too hungry and have been starved of blood for too long, or sometimes when they experience very strong emotions. The form of being feral varies from bloodline to bloodline, just as it would for werewolves. When being fed off of a human will feel the pain of the bite but then a euphoria will settle, which is dangerous at times. A pheromone is also given off that makes them smell and taste amazing to a human (such as saliva and skin, this is not a reference to cannibalism lmao), which was once so they could draw in prey to better feed off of. In Melrose, vampires and werewolves live together in a tenuous harmony. Again no one really can point out why they have tension but still that thought has lived on in more traditional, and older people of both kinds. They try not to encroach on the others territory and spaces, and their councils work together along with the human government when needed. Vampires answer to the Vampiric Council of their country when a crime has been committed or they need other governmental help. Currently the hub for vampiric activity is in two parts. St. Januarius’ Cathedral, and Le Syndicat, respectively a church and a nightclub. The church is a safehouse for all werewolves, vampires, and humans , and the nightclub is well...a nightclub. One is ran by a charming but seedy priest, and the other is ran by a cold, but sweet once you worm your way into his heart.

WEREWOLVES:

Werewolves, like stated above in the vampire section, come from one large strain. There was a war a very long time ago but no one really knows that anymore, and there’s just some strain among the more traditional folks. Werewolves can be born with lycanthropy, or they can be turned; though werewolves can have offspring with humans at the normal rate unlike vampires. Their children tend to be hyperactive and need a lot of attention to keep their instincts under control, much like newborn vampires. They burn off a ton of calories and usually need to be on a high calorie diet because of this as well as high in iron, which becomes worse during a full moon. Changing in and out of their forms, whether it be bipedal or all fours, tends to burn off a lot of calories and consume a lot of energy. Werewolf kids need that extra supervision so that they don’t hurt themselves during the night, but they will learn to cope as they get older. Pain management those nights is a must, a lot of werewolves keep a well stocked medicine cabinet. Being turned into a werewolf is not as a rampant problem as people used to think, it never was. Usually they can only turn someone during a full moon when their saliva has more kick to it and is full of the lycanthropic strain, which their body has on a cycle much like a period. However, they can turn someone on the odd night but it’s usually just before or just after a full moon, and they will not get the chance to turn someone during a full moon that time around. Werewolves also often experience PMS like symptoms close to the full moon, no matter what gender they are.

Their hair grows very thick and fast, usually covering their entire body in a peach fuzz and growing more prominent on their arms, chest, pubic area, back, head, etc. Sometimes the back of their hands and feet as well. They see exceptionally well in the dark, usually have the speed and strength to rival vampires, and are always on the taller side. Though there are some exceptions, especially for human born wolves, or those turned into one. Aging is slow for them, some can live up to three hundred years before they pass on. Werewolf society usually comes in the form of a pack, designating an Alpha and Betas (usually two to three) in their own way and coming to them for advice as well as governing matters. They have their own council and converse with the human or vampire government if needed. How they govern is really up to them however, just as it is for vampires. In Melrose there are smaller packs everywhere, and a bigger one out on the edge of town. This pack has recently elected (through a physical challenge of the previous Alpha) Dante Kāne as their Alpha, and he has two Betas : Serj Allgood, and Ty Hacon. The previous Alpha, a man named Gunner, is a very traditional man who put into practice not so great things (drug running, not so safe sex work, etc) but Dante is slowly trying to ease the pack into doing better things.

MAGIC:

Magic is an inherited trait, usually through a distant tie to the strain that gave the world vampirism and lycanthropy, or it is learned. Witches can be born to any human, werewolf, or vampire; though most humans still believe magic to not be real. It can also come in the form of anything, blood magic, rituals, soothsaying, fortune telling, necromancy, green magic, etc. It all exists all at once. Some believe in gods, some don’t, it’s all up to the person.

#vampire #werewolf #fantasy #melrose

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wanna-b-poet31 · 5 years

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A (maybe) 4-part meta on Good Omens: Part 1: Aziraphale’s Abuse and Trauma

SOOOOO I promised myself I wouldn’t get too obsessed with Good Omens but I’ve got some meta-thoughts.

So, it’s no secret that abuse is prevalent in Good Omens, but the methods of abuse are interesting ultimately working as a catalyst for how Crowley and Aziraphale interact with humans, Heaven, Hell, and each other.

Several of the characters we see in Good Omens are traumatized by the time we meet them, although some more than others. For example, Newt, for what little we see him is clearly ostracized by everyone around him and he shows signs of trauma via isolation. Until the end of the world, it’s heavily implied that he’s bullied, if not dismissed from the rest of the world due to his explosive tendencies with computers. He’s not shown to have healthy coping skills with the isolation, and although it is ultimately good he doesn’t get his job, and works with Shadwell, and meets Anathema, but he’s unable to express himself in a healthy way or handle his past. Similarly, due to the stress of saving the world, Anathema is traumatized by the expectations of her family, of being a “descendant” of Agnes Nutters.

But, both begin recovery journeys by beginning to assert their own needs and well-being. Newt begins forming real, relationships and coping with his loneliness by making friends and Anathema defies her family’s obligation by burning the letters. Overall, it’s a straightforward approach to begin recovering from traumatic events.

However, Crowley and Aziraphale do not have quite as straightforward a narrative.

Heaven is unbending. It is clear to both of them that God and her representatives punish independence, asking questions, and having any defined version of a “self”.

Look at the photo below. It’s an environment that (per my last post) is cold, abusive, and really, isn’t a functional space. Nothing can get done reasonably in here. There aren’t any personal touches and it makes the space devoid of any sense of home. AND THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE HEAVEN, land of milk and honey Heaven. It’s not just bland, it’s much more insidious than that. It’s false transparency, a “nothing to see here” mask that the angels use to belittle, attack, and intimidate each other.

Then there’s the messy business of the dogmatism Heaven follows that affects Aziraphale throughout the series. We see it first in the garden that questions (a la Crowley) lead to abandonment. The fear of falling, of knowingly being discarded by people/entities that supposedly love one another is a violent space to grow up in and incentivizes the remaining angels to keep their head down and not question actions that are clearly wrong. It is Crowley who asks why it would be okay to kill kids (because it’s clearly wrong) to which Aziraphale responds: “I’m not consulted about policy decisions”. It’s clear that 1000 year after the garden he’s internalizing his conditioning.

His behavior, especially coming from THE angel who gave away his flaming sword without any hesitation and then LIED to God about it, shows that he clearly knows right from wrong is jarring. But, it’s unsurprising, given the abusive place he is attached to. Heaven’s love for him is conditional and wholly dependant on him being able to do as he’s told, not what might be right.

It’s also clear that Aziraphale is being abused during the events of the series. While not always physically violent (although I’ll get to that in a second), he is continuously belittled and degraded.

Take a look at Heaven’s least favorite Asshole: Gabriel

When we are introduced to Gabriel the first few things out of his mouth are insults. Although we’ve had Aziraphale for only like 5 seconds and we already can tell how passionate he is about food. Aziraphale is eating sushi, presumably a favorite food given his familiarity with the chef, and taking some time for himself, and like a good family member offers some to his “fellow”, his “ally”, an entity who supposedly had his back. When the food is refused, it’s presented with a dismissive tone and called “gross matter” that would “sully” his body. This is is a smack in the face to Aziraphale and he quickly lies, saying he’s only eating to keep up appearances. This shutdown of interests and likes pushes Aziraphale to be like Newt, ostracized from people who are supposed to be his friends. Then, like Anathema, his exposure to the “great plan” and what is expected of an angel is villanizes his interests, causing him to feel shame and associate his individuality and sense of the self with “wrong” or “broken”.

This differs greatly from how Crowley and Aziraphale meet. Although we see Crowley tempt eve, they talk to each other as equals and Crowley does the one thing Heaven has never done -- tell him he’s doing a good job. There is no harm in eating or enjoying eating but he’s being treated like he’s committing some kind of sin. Crowley, in contrast, reaffirms Aziraphale’s actions and helps relieve his concerns. Gabriel, instead, aggravates his anxiety.

Then, we see Gabriel do one of the more insidious discreditings of Aziraphale’s sense of self at the bookstore. Whereas Crowley is able to tell when there are new books in the shop and knows that losing the shop is a significant loss for Aziraphale, Gabriel can’t be bothered (more on that at the end). At some level, it’s his disdain for humanity that makes him indifferent at best about the bookstore. But, his disregard for Aziraphale’s livelihood, something that is a clear point of pride and joy, is belittling. He is demanding that Aziraphale drop everything he loves to fight the great war, and while asking to fight is not intrinsically abusive (Crowley too asks Azi to join him and fight), the dynamic is not of equals with the same motivations, rather it is clearly meant to be talking down to Aziraphale. Gabriel sees no value in the shop or his “brother” and if he can’t see it there must not be any. The blow to Aziraphale’s emotional state is apparent in the grimace he gives the two angels.

Even when Aziraphale, (who does his best to uphold what he has been conditioned to be “right” and after many millennia has grown to trust Gabriel despite no reciprocation) DOES go to Heaven with a plan, news about where the anti-christ is and how to stop it, or push him to be neither satan no saint, he’s met with more belittlement. None of the angels at the meeting believe that Aziraphale can accomplish his goals, but worst than that, none of them are willing to give him the support he needs to achieve his goal. Sure they don’t smite him where he stands for purposing an alternative to the end of the world, but that’s not the same as being a support system he can rely on. He can’t even voice here the reasons why he cares so deeply about Earth or why they may be wrong. He is not their equals in their eyes.

You can also see it at the park when Gabriel and Aziraphale are running, and Gabriel punches his stomach, telling our adorable angel he needs to lose the gut, devaluing Aziraphale’s worth further. Even the face he makes in the gif below is filled with condescension. He’s not taking Aziraphale, or Aziraphale’s concerns seriously.

Which brings me to the final nail in Heaven’s abusive coffin via Gabriel. The intended violence of his “sentence” is meant to, like the fall, strike the fear of abandonment, disownment, and death into Aziraphale. There is no scenario (except the one we see) where Aziraphale is meant to make it out of Heaven alive.

After Armaggeddon’t Gabriel, who knows Aziraphale’s intentions of diverting the apocalypse, if perhaps not the rationale, is pleased to belittle the restrained Aziraphale. There is legit joy in his face when they force Aziraphale to walk into the hellfire.

In the above gif, you can see that not only is he being verbally abusive, throwing ill-intent insults at Aziraphale, but that he fully expects the fire to kill his supposed brother and PLEASED about it.

LET ME REPEAT THAT. The place/people who Aziraphale is supposed to love, trust, and be loyal to are ready, and happy to, drop him at a moment’s notice. At this point, considering the layers of abuse already outlined, Aziraphale’s insistence that he can’t be on Crowley’s side because Heaven wouldn’t like it is symptomatic of someone who is longing for a genuine, honest connection and has been “raised” to believe that is Heaven, no questions allowed.

this is not to say Heaven isn’t above physical abuse towards Aziraphale.

I’ve seen some excellent metas floating around dissecting the Crowley vs. Aziraphale and the Angel’s vs. Aziraphale “intimidation” (although I can’t find them now, please @ them if you know them) and the bottom line is that Aziraphale is terrified by Uriel and her legion of Angels much more than Crowley ever could. Aziraphale is damn well aware of how violent the angels who aren’t even touching him can be vs. his calm response to Crowley pushing him against a wall.

Which brings me back to Crowley and Aziraphale. Although I can (and will) do another one of these on Crowley, and dive deeper into the implications of their relationship and the closure they need/got by being on their own side. I want to take a second to articulate just how much Crowley does not (try) to do be this way to Aziraphale.

I maintain that Crowley, is aware of Heaven’s abusive tendencies due to his fall and the subsequent fear that must have caused other angels, I do not think he’s aware of the levels of mental, verbal, and emotional abuse that heaven throws Aziraphale specifically. The way Aziraphale talks up heaven, you’d suspect he was getting awards left and right, or at least some semblance of respect. But no. In stark contrast to Gabriel, Crowley will entertain Aziraphale’s interests/passions like food and books even if they aren’t something he indulges in often himself. Whereas I said earlier Gabriel dismissed the bookshop and presupposed it was something Aziraphale would be able to drop like a rock, Crowley KNOWS that Aziraphale cares so deeply for his books, his food, and his identity as an angel, that losing any of them would be unbearable. Although Crowley pushes and sometimes goes too fast for Aziraphale, he’s not approaching Aziraphale in bad faith.

Of the 10 observed historical meetings, we see Crowley initiate at least 6 of them (it could be said the Victorian meeting is also Crowley’s doing, but the jury is out about who called that particular meeting as Aziraphale walks toward Crowley first in that scene). We also see Crowley go out of his way to do things that make the Angel comfortable and does not once break his trust. Although he storms out 3 times in the show, he always uses it as breathing room, before once again seeking Aziraphale out, and doing his best to work on their relationship AS EQUALS. Their dynamic (Which I’ll go into more later) is not on uneven footing, and both parties treat the other with a kindness neither of them is offered by their respective worlds.

TLDR: Crowley’s love for Aziraphale helps heal him from the abuses of Heaven

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk

#good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley and aziraphale #crowley #aziraphale #the ineffable plan #thanks for coming to my ted talk #tw: abuse #tw: mentions of abuse #tw:trauma #tw: trauma #these two are in love

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marril96 · 5 years

Text

The Distance Between Us

Chapter 11: Primadonna Girl

Pairing: Rowena x reader

Summary: Crowley gives you some surprisingly mature input on Rowena.

Editor: @cherrypierowena

The punch they served at the cafeteria tasted like shit, but you still gulped down the entirety of your plastic cup in one go before squeezing it into a ball and throwing it in the trash can — and missing by a good few inches.

Fuck it, you thought. There was trash all around anyway, cups and empty snack bags littering the hall.

Nobody cared. Not the teachers, and certainly not the students, plenty of whom were getting drunker by the minute. Cleaning ladies would lose their shit tomorrow morning.

Their problem.

Not yours.

You weren't even thirsty, especially not for the piss this school dared call punch. It just happened to be the first drink you'd laid your eyes on.

Maybe you should have taken Crowley up on his offer.

All you wanted was to get out of Lucifer's sight. To get away from him. To not be near him for even ten feet was way too close for your liking.

Hell, ten miles would have been way too close.

Lucifer Shurley was one of the few people you could proudly say you hated. He was a smug piece of shit who did nothing but cause trouble and get away with it because of daddy dearest's influence. Watching him from afar was one thing. To stand so close…

It made you remember things. Like his hand on your ass. Your fist in his face. His subsequent suspension, and your warning to report any future indiscretions rather than dealing with them on your own.

You hated him.

God, you hated him!

And Rowena dated him.

How she could get past everything he'd done (everything he was, no doubt, still doing), you couldn't comprehend. She seemed like someone who took shit from no one. She'd certainly showcased it. And yet she dated Lucifer without a qualm, without a single issue. Not only that, but she's fought to date him. Hard. Dirty. Walked over still bleeding corpses on her way over to him.

Your attitude towards her may have mellowed out, but you couldn't get past that. You never would, no matter how nice she was to you, how well she taught you.

Some things were unforgivable.

The girl made no sense to you. She was so strange, so… contradictory. There were so many things you didn't know about her. So many layers she'd wrapped herself in, so many secrets she'd buried deep inside.

Who was Rowena MacLeod?

Was she a heartless mean girl who willingly sought the company of bullies? Or was there more to her than met the eye, hidden depths you'd only begun to uncover?

"Crowley?" you asked, the music still blaring, so loud you could barely hear your own thoughts.

He turned to you, sneaking a sip of his whiskey. "What is it?"

"Could I ask you something?" You leaned against the wall beside him, glad you could hear him a bit better, and cleared your throat. "About Rowena."

He groaned. Took another quick sip of the liquor. "That whore and her pimp already ruined my night."

Well.

He wasn't wrong.

Chuckling, you said, "Has she always been a bitch?" He stared as if you'd just slapped him. You shrugged. "Just curious."

Another sip. "Believe it or not, she used to be tolerable."

You could tell it pained him to admit it. To admit there was a time when his sister wasn't cold and heartless. Did they use to be closer? Was there a time when they were as tight as Sam and Dean, when their bickering was loving rather than hateful and they smiled — happily — in each other's presence?

You raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes," Crowley said with a nod. "She used to do ballet. She ever tell you that? She'd often dance around the house. Be a nuisance, but not… mean."

"I saw the shoes once," you said. "That when she was a kid?"

"Up until we moved."

The end of eighth grade.

Before high school.

Before America.

"Mother wanted to sign her up for lessons here, but all of a sudden ballet was 'boring' and 'for children.'" He rolled his eyes. "She's been a bitch ever since."

So it was a lie.

Not a big surprise — if anything, you expected it — but you were still baffled. Why lie about something like that? It was just ballet. A hobby. An art.

Why would someone try so hard to hide something good all the while proudly putting the bad out in the open?

"Was she close with your dad?" you asked as delicately as you could. Other than to complain about Rowena, Crowley rarely talked about his family. He never mentioned his father.

"No," he said. "The bastard's always been absent. Him scramming was more of a question of when than why."

"Could've still affected her."

He snorted. Gave a small laugh as he drank some more of his whiskey. "That would've required some sort of relationship with him. Trust me, love, our father leaving left no scars on her delicate heart. If she still has one."

You weren't so sure. Parents, even absent ones, leaving could affect people in all sorts of ways. Seeing someone once in a while was one thing. Them leaving, never to appear in your life again, was something completely different.

Rowena's meanness could be a coping mechanism.

Which wasn't an excuse, but it did help you understand her — or try to, at least. There were still so many mysteries about the puzzle that was Rowena MacLeod. Some you were certain you'd never uncover.

Didn't mean you couldn't try.

You wanted to understand her. Wanted to see what made her tick. Wanted to know why she was so nice to you when she didn't give a damn about anyone at school.

She was an enigma, and you would solve it. No matter the cost.

You had always loved a project.

"Did she always hang out with assholes?" you asked, testing a different angle. Maybe Crowley was right — maybe their dad leaving left no trace, and instead the reason for her shift in personality, for the monster she'd become, lied elsewhere.

"She barely hung out with anyone."

Interesting.

"Was she bullied?"

"Possibly. She'd get ridiculed from time to time, but I don't know if it ever got to her 'friends'' level."

His words dripped with sarcasm, but his tone was firm, almost protective. Made it clear that, even though he hated his sister, if he'd found out she'd been bullied, that she'd been harassed and laughed at like Lucifer and Olivette's victims, there would have been blood. And possibly heads being thrown around, ripped straight from the offenders' shoulders.

The MacLeod siblings were weird like that.

"Moving to America fulfilled her dreams of being an absolute bitch," Crowley said. "Probably got inspired by those bloody awful movies. Surprised she hadn't tried out to be a cheerleader."

You chuckled. Rowena totally fit the stereotype. Mean, smug, surrounded by bullies — the only thing missing was a short skirt and pompoms.

Maybe she didn't want to be a one hundred percent stereotype. Changed things up a bit. Instead of cheering, she aced tests and tutored loser girls.

"Anyway," Crowley said as he finished his flask and put it back into his pocket, hand instantly clasping over a new one, "she made her choices. I'm not losing sleep over it. And neither should you."

You stared at him. Blinked.

"Don't overthink it," he told you. "She gave her last remnants of humanity up for popularity. Whatever it is you think you see, it's not there."

"I don't—"

His raised eyebrow cut you off.

Guilty as charged.

For all his dramatics, Crowley wasn't as oblivious as you thought.

You sighed. "She fascinates me."

That made him laugh. "She's a fascinating creature. But a nasty one. Like I told you, she pretends to be nice, cozies up, then digs the claws in. If she's being nice, it's because she's using you."

Made sense.

Except…

"Why would she use me? I have nothing she'd want. I'm not popular. I suck at school. I have like three friends in total."

Neither were you rich. Nor had influence or connections of any kind.

What could she possibly be using you for?

"There's always something."

Maybe so.

But what?

And why?

"I have to go to the bathroom," you said suddenly.

You needed to be alone for a bit. Needed to process everything he'd said, everything you'd learned about the mean girl who lately didn't seem so mean anymore. Were you wrong? Had she tricked you?

Was she really using you?

"Need a chaperone?" Crowley asked with a wry smirk.

"I think I'll be fine," you said in your most deadpan tone. "Wait here."

His hands shot up in a defensive manner. "You know I'm all yours, kitten."

"I'm flattered."

In all honesty, you were grateful. With all your other friends scattered around, you were glad you had Crowley with you. You weren't a people person, especially the loud-music-and-crowds kind. You would've left ages ago if left completely alone.

It took some pushing and shoving, but you finally found your way to the bathroom hall. Thankfully, not many people roamed around here; the main hall was the heart of the party, a magnet pulling everyone in and away from the rest of the school.

The air was stale, but you were able to breathe easier. No bodies pressing against you. No elbows shoving into you and knees whacking into your own. Just you and empty space. Lots and lots of empty space.

Heaven, you'd call it.

A rush of heels clicked towards you, and you looked up. A smile instinctively spread over your mouth at the sight of Rowena.

Then you took in the state she was in and it vanished in a heartbeat.

Her hair was a mess. Her face, pale, beautiful, was red, eyes swollen with tears that spilled from them like a never-ending downpour.

Your heart clenched with worry.

"Rowena?" you said gently. "What happened?"

She forced on a smile. "Nothing."

You raised an eyebrow. "Nothing?"

"Yes, nothing!" she exclaimed.

You flinched.

She sighed, apologetic. "Leave me alone, okay? I'm not in the mood."

She was distressed. Hurt. How could you ignore that?

So you asked the old stupid question, "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she said with a touch of sarcasm. "I am."

"You don't look okay."

She glared daggers at you. Threatened painful and bloody murder. "Mind your bloody business, Y/N!"

Her words were like a whip; sharp, painful, furious. She rushed past you before you could utter a response. Before you could compose yourself and offer up a reaction to her outburst.

No apology.

No regret.

Not even a wounded puppy stare.

She was just gone.

Tears rushed into your eyes, prickled at them with demands of falling free. Your heart ached. Your teeth clenched, fists following suit.

Maybe Crowley was right.

Maybe she was using you.

And whatever she was doing it for, it wasn't enough for her to even pretend to be your friend.

*****

Tags: @werewolfbarbie @oswinthestrange @songofthecagedmoose @apurdyfulmind @getthesalt-sam @metallihca @salembitchtrials @jay-eris @hellsmother @elizabeth-effie @victoriasagittariablack @rowenaswife @wonderifshelikesroses @xfireandsin @liddell-alien @hotdiggitydammit @lae-lae @darkhumorsblog @gaysnakess @angel7376 @cherrypierowena @ruthieconnells @evil-regal-vampiress @collectorofsecretsandsouls @angel-e-v-a @tasyahilker @a-queen-and-her-throne

#rowena #rowena macleod #rowena x reader #spn #supernatural #crowley #spn family #fergus macleod #my fics #fanfiction #high school au

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cloama · 5 years

Text

When I was 13, I realized that I liked pastiche, adaptation, and alternative takes. My Dad had noticed the nerd in me and started introducing me to his favorite stuff. He’d pull books off his shelf for me to read. Lots of Star Trek and Doctor Who novels and various Sherlock Holmes pastiche.

In that same year, I watched Kevin Smith’s Dogma. I liked the movie a lot. I talked about it a lot. I really loved what it did with the material.

My dad saw Dogma later. I think it was running on Comedy Central. We talked about it and he plucked Good Omens off his shelf and gave it to me. I was deep into Harry Potter like ever other tween at the time but I always took his recommendations. So I stopped on whatever HP book I was on, believing my dad’s hype. He told me to take good care of it because unlike other books, he didn’t have another copy.

I read the book and then read it again and then bothered my dad about it endlessly. I quoted it like a fucking dork. I made inside jokes. I would sometimes draw Aziraphale despite having no artistic abilities. I burned CDs that reminded me of Crowley(even submitted one an accessory to my english final). I fanned the fuck out.

It was the book I carried everywhere.*

It was the book I read while sitting on the field at marching band practice in between runs.

It was the book whose pages got so soft on the edges from endless thumbing

It was the book I told everyone about but wouldn’t let them borrow, opting to literally write out passages and hand it to them. Our bookstore didn’t carry it. You’d have to drive an 2 hours to the mall to get it.

So I’m not gonna post. I’m too emotional over a piece of fiction and it feels weird and I have other stuff going. I don’t really have the mental space for it rn. But I just needed to have one good outburst-- one good yell about how happy I am So I’ll just reblog a few things and rewatch episodes in the evenings. Maybe I’ll calm my tits and read the book one more time just for fun(maybe it’ll be mine and Dad’s Christmas reading this year. That’s actually a good idea.)

I cannot believe we got that adaptation (it’s been 84 years.gif).

I cannot believe it was that good (yes I can, leak the scripts).

I cannot believe that everyone involved was so nice to fans about fanfic and general enthusiasm (yes I can. It’s Gaiman and co.)

I cannot believe Martin Sheen, a man who I’ve enjoyed forever brought my precious Aziraphale to life and that it was so close to what I’d imagined in my head that I cried a little when I saw him. Then I cried a lot at the end. I cried every time he enjoyed a meal. I luh he😭😭😭

I haven’t been fannish or enthusiastic about anything in a while. I’m so damn emotional, I cannot cope. So I’ll see y’all in the reblogs.

_____

*The only books I’ve ever brought with me everywhere were:

Frankenstein

Slave Narratives (2000)

People noticed that I had a new book. Didn’t stop em from putting me in a trashcan. Just more nerd shit to make fun of. That’s probably why I’m so quiet about this. Before I could afford my walkman, my books kept me from earning the ire of bullies and stuff. Never worked completely but it was there.

#Good Omens #you know how you love some things so much #that you won't even talk about them unless it's like right in your face

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ao3feed-ineffablehusbandz · 1 year

Text

Bullied

by JoseyxNeko

Azshearaphale is sick, on bed rest, with explicit instructions not to have sex.

How will Crowley cope?

More importantly, how will Mooley cope??

Overall Winner of the OLHTS Not-Very-Nice and Anatomically-Inaccurate Prophecies 'This is me now' prompt.

Words: 2080, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 5 of Farmyard Crack

Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Other

Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), /Azshearaphale, Crowley (Good Omens), &Mooley, Sergeant Shadwell (Good Omens), Newton Pulsifer

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley/Crowley (Good Omens)

Additional Tags: Oh lord hold onto your hats for this one, Crowley fucks a sheep, But does he?, Azshearaphale is sick, Sickfic, Crowley is horny, Mooley is horny, Mooley has horns, Azshearaphale is bedridden, Bestiality, Dubious Consent, But he really really consents, Dry Humping, Wet Humping, All the humping, do not try this at home, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, wanking, Getting jumped by a bull, Accidental Voyeurism, Mooley is Crowley as a cow, Aziraphale is a sheep, A real genuine sheep, Comedy, Humor, Crack, the crackiest, Discord: O Lord Heal This Server, Alternate Universe - Human, and sheep, and cow, Unbeta'd, unsurprisingly, I don't know how this universe continued growing., Happy Ending

From https://ift.tt/kaIHhz1 https://archiveofourown.org/works/44247511

#ao3feed ineffablehusbandz #ineffable husbands #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #anthonyjcrowl

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3sc4p3-with-m3 · 6 years

Text

TOP 15 BOOKS OF 2017

This is a very hard thing for me to do because I choose very carefully every book I read. This is just a blog so my opinion about some books shouldn't change yours. Enjoy��

15. "Elizabeth is missing" written by Emma Healey

I chose this book as my least preference because I expected more from it than it gave me.

The book is good and all, but I expected to have more action and to animate more the main character, Elizabeth, an old lady with amnesia.

Long story short, the book is about this old lady who tries to find her best friend even with the disease she has.

The story is funny but also sad which made me like the book.

14. "Fangirl" by Rainbow Rowell

The book was good but way too static. It was a basic book, but not one that you wouldn't enjoy.

By the fact that this book was all over the internet it makes no sense to say what's about, the title also giving us a hint about the subject.

13. "Eleanor&Park" also by Rainbow Rowell

A really good novel which teaches us a lot about bullying, abuse and love.

Eleanor is weird, she is bullied and abused at home which makes her feel unworthy, until Park notices her. And here starts the love story.

I put this book on this place on the top not because I consider it bad, but for the fact that other books from my list were better for me.

12. "The sky is everywhere" by Jandy Nelson

I found it very interesting and I think that it teached me to love my siblings and family.

It teaches us how hard is to cope with the death of a family member.

"The sky is everywhere" is a bout a girl called Lennie which lost her sister and now she has only her grandma and her uncle. She's having something with her sister 's boyfriend until a certain boy called Joe apperars in her life. And everything changes.

11. "History is all you left me" by Adam Silvera

Love. Love. Love. That's all I can say. Makes you think in some other way. Makes you see things different.

10. "Every last word" by Tamara Ireland Stone

ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS EVER EVEN IF IT'S NO. 10.

Ok, I learned so much about OCD and how to communicate with people with this disease not only through words, but through poetry.

The author makes Caroline so real that I also felt betrayed when I found out that she was actually dead.

OCD isn't impossible. Work it out. Believe in yourself.

9. "My heart and other black holes" by Jasmine Warga

The novel puts in light one of the most used theme this year: suicide.

Two teenagers who meet through a site which was made for people who want to kill themselves, but not alone. They start a 26-days countdown, but they start to become more intimate which gets in their way of killing themselves.

Crucial.

8. "Forbidden" by Tabitha Suzuma

The best book which has this theme. Love between brother and sister, but not like siblings, but like lovers.

Full of drama and misunderstood love.

7. "Words in deep blue" by Cath Crowley

Original. That's the word which describes it. I won't say more.

6. "Playlist for the dead" by Michelle Falkoff

People say it's like "13 reasons why" but it isn't. It is more pure. You feel like you help the boy to get over his best friend's death.

5. "The rest of us just live here" by Patrick Ness

Needs more appreciation. Such a good S.F. It puts your imagination at work.

Some children try to save their town. And they succeed.

4. "One of us is lying" written by Karen M. McManus

Such a good thriller. Everything I could say about it could be a spoiler to be honest ((:

3. "They both die at the end" by Adam Silvera

Iconic. Have no words to describe it. So original. Won't forget it in the near future.

2. "More than this" by Patrick Ness

BEST S.F. EVER. The only S.F. book which made me ask myself so many questions. Is there afterlife after we die? What happenes with us? Well this book will answer them in the most unusual way.

1. "The hate u give" written by Angie Thomas

I chose it as my favourite book of the year because it made me see how cruel our world is. Reading this book made be go back to all the cases which included black people being killed by white people and made me realise that there are so many that we lost count.

We are all the same. We should be equal. We shouldn't have those stereotypes which became so annoying. DO NOT CATEGORISE PEOPLE. EVER.

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mittensmorgul · 7 years

Note

I am sure this has been addressed before but I am rewatching with my sister and we have gotten to season 8... she was wondering why Dean was so mad at Sam for not looking for him and doing the normal life thing when Dean moved in with Lisa and did the normal life thing when Sam went to hell at the end of 5. I couldn't really come up with a satisfying answer for her.. what are your thoughts? Sorry I am sure you have written about this before.

Hi hi! And yeah, this has been talked about plenty before. There’s a few distinct yet vitally important differences between Dean’s situation during his “year at Lisa’s” and Sam’s year basically running away from… everything.

First off, before he said yes to Lucifer in 5.22, Sam extracted this promise from Dean:

SAM: This thing goes our way and I…Triple Lindy into that box… y-you know I’m not coming back.DEAN: Yeah, I’m aware.SAM: So you got to promise me something.DEAN: Okay. Yeah. Anything.SAM: You got to promise not to try to bring me back.DEAN: What? No, I didn’t sign up for that.SAM: Dean –DEAN: Your Hell is gonna make my tour look like Graceland. You want me just to sit by and do nothing?SAM: Once the Cage is shut, you can’t go poking at it, Dean. It’s too risky.DEAN: No, no, no, no, no. As if I’m just gonna let you rot in there.SAM: Yeah, you are. You don’t have a choice.DEAN: You can’t ask me to do this.SAM: I’m sorry, Dean. You have to.DEAN: So then what am I supposed to do?SAM: You go find Lisa. You pray to god she’s dumb enough to take you in, and you – you have barbecues and go to football games. You go live some normal, apple-pie life, Dean. Promise me.

A double-pronged promise, and we know for a FACT that Dean did not honor one half of that promise. I think the only reason he stayed with Lisa as long as he did was because it was the only half of that promise he COULD fulfill… but in 6.01:

Dean: Good for who? I showed up on their doorstep half out of my head with grief. God knows why they even let me in. I drank too much. I had nightmares. I looked everywhere. I collected hundreds of books, trying to find anything to bust you out.Sam: You promised you’d leave it alone.Dean: Of course I didn’t leave it alone! Sue me! A damn year? You couldn’t put me out of my misery?

So even though he was MISERABLE at Lisa’s, he coped by collecting “hundreds of books,” i.e. DOING TONS AND TONS OF RESEARCH, trying to figure a way to get Sam out of the cage.

And Sam, being soulless at the time, actually believed that Dean wouldn’t have broken that idiotic promise (which, according to that long quote from 5.22 above, he never technically promised, but rather talked his way around and changed the subject…)

But as far as Dean knew after 5.22, Cas was up playing Sheriff in Heaven and getting all that nonsense under control (and surely if there was anything to worry about, Cas would’ve let Dean know). Bobby was still hunting as per usual (and surely if there was anything to worry about, Bobby would’ve let Dean know). >.>

(Basically Dean had NO IDEA how catastrophically wrong things were before the djinn showed up at his house in 6.01, partly because Sam had also made Bobby promise not to tell Dean that he was “back.” And Bobby honored that promise… And Cas (as we learned eventually in 6.20) had signed on to work with Crowley in order not to make Dean break that promise to live an apple pie life with Lisa, because Cas was trying to protect Dean after everything he’d already sacrificed… and yikes all of that just went so catastrophically wrong anyway…)

Now, after 7.23, Crowley grabs up Kevin and refuses to tell Sam anything about what may have happened to Cas and Dean, telling Sam that he’s entirely on his own now. Dean never asked Sam to go off and have a normal happy life should anything happen to him. And there’s a couple things about this that really bother me…

I mean, yeah, Sam had NO IDEA what happened to Dean and Cas. But instead of even trying to figure it out, he took the Impala and ran for it. Basically drifted through life for a while until he ended up at that motel in Texas where he met someone else drifting just as much as he was. Amelia was a hell of a lot more open with him than he was with her, but they both had their baggage. Just like with Jess at Stanford, Sam never told Amelia anything about his “family business.”

But Sam had leads he COULD’VE explored… and one of the things Sam let slide during that year that was most personally upsetting to me, and which likely could’ve led Sam to at least an IDEA of what had happened to Dean and Cas: Kevin.

Sam “ditched the phones,” and quit hunting. Kevin, meanwhile, spent MONTHS desperately trying to contact Sam and Dean after escaping Crowley and going on the run.

DEAN: He was our responsibility. [He tosses the phone at SAM’s chest.] And you couldn’t answer the damn phone.

All the while, if there had been ONE PERSON ON THE ENTIRE PLANET who may have been able to make an accurate assessment of what had happened to Dean and Cas, it was probably Kevin. He’d translated the leviathan tablet, after all. And Sam had even bailed on looking for him, even knowing that Crowley was likely… treating Kevin rather poorly, at the very least.

And I mean, I kinda get it from Sam’s POV (Nothing says family like the whole family being dead…), and the last time Dean “died” and Sam had KNOWN where he was, he really went to Bad Places™ in the hunt to either get Dean back or to get revenge on Lilith for killing him. I really do understand why he ran after 7.23, when you look at it from that perspective…

But wow. He was in deep denial about his entire life’s history for most of that year. Living with Amelia was sort of this soft-focus (which was even the camera effect they used for a number of the flashbacks to his time with her) not-really-real time in his life. Like one long dissociative episode. Sam was Not In A Good Place.

Meanwhile, Dean came back from his year in “God’s armpit” with a very different experience. It was all TOO real for him.

SAM: Look, I’m still the same guy, Dean.DEAN: Well, bully for you. I’m not.

So Dean had just spent the better part of a year desperately searching for Cas, because it was all he could do. He refused to leave Purgatory without Cas, and then right at the last second, just as he was escaping through the portal… Cas refused to go with him… Ouch.

Dean “failed” at saving Cas after that year of horror and 360 degree combat, but Sam failed to even try to save him. He just hopped in the car and drove away like he could just forget everything about his life up to that point, while Dean was trapped in a place where the monsters never stopped coming at him.

I guess if I were Dean I’d be a little bitter about that too…

eta: a couple of excellent links to old meta on the subject, dug up by detective mel:

http://quarterclever.tumblr.com/post/50687433626/the-winchester-brothers-on-failure-vs-quitting (part 1: Sam)

http://quarterclever.tumblr.com/post/51539952104/the-winchester-brothers-on-failure-vs-quitting (part 2: Dean)

http://zimshan.livejournal.com/248857.html (don’t worry, Mel and I already spent five minutes cursing photobucket, but the meta is still solid despite the lack of images)

#spn 7.23 #spn 8.01 #spn 5.22 #spn 6.01 #Anonymous #sam sympathizes and dean empathizes #detective mel

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