Disguise It
repost! i was accidentally on priv when i posted this so… doing it again! this is crazy nsfw so be warned 🤗
pairing: spencer x fem!reader
preview:
You couldn’t tell you who moves in first, but suddenly his lips are on yours and your hands are tugging in his hair while his hold you to him. You can feel all of him and it doesn’t seem like it is possibly enough. All you know, is that he breaks away first.
“I don’t know how to handle myself around you. I shouldn’t be here. Fuck, I’m so sorry.”
Now it’s your turn to grab the man in front of you.
“Spencer, shut up.”
warnings: criminal minds typical violence, case descriptions, smut, light angst, enemies to lovers, unprotected sex w/ talk of contraceptives
please let me know if i missed anything!
Georgia is sweltering in the summer. The silk, sleeveless shirt you wore was starting to cling to the sweat on your back, and your body only heated further upon the prodding you were receiving from your fellow team member. It felt like everything you said was met with a rebuttal from Dr. Reid.
At this point, you’d been a part of the BAU for two years. While you were the youngest of the team, you felt the dozens of cases you helped to successfully close should have garnered you some respect in Spencer’s eyes, but, for whatever reason, he still saw you as an expendable part.
At first, his hostility seemed excusable. You had joined the team, and were struck upon meeting him. He was beautiful and incredibly smart and even more incredibly cold. Shortly after, Penelope explained you had replaced one of Reid’s closest friends, Alex. After some, admittedly nosy, probing, you found out just how integral Alex had been in helping him to grieve the loss of his girlfriend at the hands of an unsub. You were understanding and recognized that you shouldn’t expect the warmest greeting from the man. But over time, it seemed all of the vitriol he had for the undesirable aspects of the job was taken out on you. Every time someone was lost, or a suspect got away, you were there for him to blame. You got it, sure it was hurtful, but you got it.
However, two years later, you decidedly did not get it. Around everyone else, he glowed, and yet when it came to you he was all snide remarks. Still, you couldn’t help but be enamored by him. You saw how he cared so deeply for everyone on the team. How any time he could, he put others well being above his. Hell, he didn’t even like you, but somehow, anytime there was a dangerous situation he found a way to put himself between you and it. You hated how attracted to him you were and you hated that he made you the object of his anger.
This case was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Four women had been murdered in the span of four weeks in a small town in Georgia. All of them with their hair cut and dyed post-mortem. The team was called out three days ago, and aside from a profile that fit nearly half the men in town, you had nothing. With a day left before another victim was expected, Hotch called you all into a small office within the sheriffs department.
“All we have to go on currently is that our unsub is targeting young women he perceives as easy targets. All four victims visited bars the night they were abducted, and they were all found the next morning. We know he is going to strike again tonight. Right now, our only option is to station an officer in one of the bars that he is likely to hit.”
Hotch sighed before continuing, “Y/N, you fit his preferred age and build. We need it to be you.”
Before you could say anything, an all too familiar voice spoke from behind you.
“Hotch, all due respect, but she doesn’t have nearly enough experience undercover. It’s more likely she screw up this whole case than find our guy.”
“Reid, I don’t know-“
You cut Derek off before he could finish his sentence, “Are fucking serious?”
“It’s nothing personal, Y/N. You just don’t have the tactical and logistical skills something like this requires,” Reid says with the corner of his mouth turned up and you see red.
“What is your problem?”
“Y/N,” Derek says trying to settle you with a hand on your shoulder but you shrug him off.
“No. No, I’m so tired of this. Look Reid, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you don’t like me. I’m sorry that I took Alex’s place. I’m sorry I’m good at my job. I know it, everyone here knows it but for you.”
You could’ve stopped there, in fact you should’ve stopped there, but obviously you didn’t.
“You know what, most of all I’m sorry I wasn’t on the team sooner, because if I was someone would have had the sense to not let you work on Maeve’s case. Maybe then, she’d be here and you wouldn’t be so fucking bitter at the world.”
As soon as you said it you wished you could take it back, but you were already half way out the door with tears pooling in your eyes.
Morgan followed closely behind you, catching up and pulling you aside before you reached the front door of the department.
“Pretty girl,”
You cut him off again, “Look I know. I’ll apologize to everyone, but I can’t do this right now.”
“Kid, let me finish.”
You look at him and wipe your eyes, a signal to go on.
“You don’t owe anyone anything. Do I think you made the best choice back there? No. But, you have a right to be angry, just don’t let it blow your chance to prove him wrong.”
“Derek, I know he’s your best friend. You don’t have to comfort me, I’m a big girl.”
Derek pulled you into his chest, “He’s my friend but he’s also an idiot. You said what you needed to and he needed to get his ass whopped. Look, go get ready for tonight. Despite what Reid said the team needs you and those girls need you, do it for them.”
“I don’t really have a choice do I,” you say through a sniffle.
“Nope. So, get moving, sweetness.”
~
The embarrassment of breaking down in front of your team continued to rock you on your way to the motel down the street. Despite your best efforts, you couldn’t stop replaying Spencer’s face over and over in your head. Regardless of his feelings toward you, you cared about him and you didn’t want to hurt him. It was just too much pressure built up over your time with the BAU and you snapped. If you could have helped it you would have.
You didn’t really have any bar attire in your go bag, and you knew that your unsub liked a certain look, so you took it upon yourself to stop by a shop. As quickly as possible, time was literally running out, you found a black mini-dress. The fabric was thick enough to cover the wire you were sure you’d be wearing, and it wasn’t expensive enough for you to feel guilty about purchasing it.
Throughout your time at the BAU, you had never worn anything like this. Lack of social life aside, anytime you went out with the team to celebrate a case or birthday, you wore business casual. Knowing they would all, namely Spencer, see you in something so small made you anxious. If you had chosen a different life, this would have been normal night-out attire for you, but you don’t even think you own a skirt that’s shorter than your knee.
The makeup you put on did nothing to ease your discomfort. It was messy and dark, just like the women he killed were wearing. You looked just like them.
On the drive back to the station, the knot in your stomach felt like it nearly tripled in size. You were scared you’d be reprimanded upon entering, while wearing club attire, like a 17 year old who broke her curfew. As you opened your car door you felt your hands shake. You put on you FBI jacket for modestly and walked in. A quick scan of the room showed no sign of Spencer, which took a bit of weight off of your shoulders. You didn’t think you could handle seeing the broken look in his eyes for a second time that day.
Once JJ saw you she walked over and said gently, “Y/N, are you alright? Are you sure you’re okay to do this?”
Admittedly, you had to force a smile as you replied, “Don’t worry about me.”
Too much was weighing on you. If you weren’t successful, you’d have another body on your conscience, coupled with using the most devastating event in Reid’s life against him. You felt like shit. Part of you knew he deserved it and the other wanted to make everything better for him. It was selfish and made you feel gross, but you had always secretly hoped that you could be the one to bring out the light in him if he ever let you in, but you threw away the slim chance of that when Maeve’s name left your lips.
After attempting to further assure JJ that you were okay, you walked back to the office you knew that you’d find Hotch in. You opened the door and found Spencer and him going over the geographical profile. When Spencer looked up and saw you, he excused himself quietly and fled the room. Hotch said nothing but waved you in.
He ignored the elephant in the room, choosing instead to explain the details of your assignment.
“Morgan, JJ, and Reid will all be stationed around the bar,” he said plainly, but you did not miss his scan of your face, searching for a reaction.
“If things escalate, if you are threatened at any point, they will be there. We’ll hear everything through the wire, and you’ll hear us.”
Still lacking the confidence you held earlier in the day, you reply with a meek “Yes sir,” and move to leave the office.
“Y/n,” he calls out to you before you reach the door. “Don’t let it get to you”
~
The bar feels hotter than it did outside, and the dress you’re wearing feels even smaller. As you wait to be approached, you fail to catch Reid’s eye. He’s been avoiding your gaze for the last hour you’d been there.
Right when you think it’s time to drawback and admit you weren’t the type he was looking for, you feel a rough hand run across your back.
“What’s a pretty thing like you doing at a place like this all alone?”
You can smell his cigarette breath before you can see him, and you have to school your face before you reply.
“I’d say I was waiting for you, but I don’t know your name.” You say, forcing a giggle and slurring your words, and you swear you hear Reid scoffing in your ear.
“It’s Michael, and I think you know just what to say.”
You hear Penelope confirm the name in your ear. The man before you is stocky and looks close to 30. He moves the hand that was on your back to rest high on your thigh.
“Let me buy you a drink, doll.”
You know you have to test him. You have to do something to prove he’s your guy, so you move to stand with faux shaking legs.
“I really shouldn’t, I uh, have to get home.”
A sick smile ghosts over his face and he forces you to sit back down, his grip tightening even more on your leg.
“Fun is just startin���, don’t get cold feet on me now.”
You reach to pull his hand off you, “No, I really need to be home. I, My roommate will worry.”
One hand grabs the back of your neck as the other lifts higher on you leg.
“Darlin, don’t you know your manners?
Hotch tells you to hold off, asking you to push him a little farther before they step in, and as much as your shaking with this man’s hands on you and stale breath in your face, you follow orders.
“You’re hurting me,” you tell him through clenched teeth as his nails sink into your skin.
“I promise you I have a lot more planned, doll. Now be good girl and sit down, or you’re going to have a knife deep in that pretty little waist of yours.”
Before you can follow his directions, you hear a familiar voice say, “Not likely.”
While you were distracted by the man in front of you, Spencer had made his way to you from across the room, and was now pushing down the man onto the bar in front of you. His eyes were dark and he was rougher than you had ever seen him. Maybe unfortunately, JJ came up behind you and pulled you away from Spencer and your staring was cut short.
The man in the bar turned out to be Michael Edwin. He had a history of petty theft and assault charges from bar fights, but Penelope recovered sealed records from his adolescence, which showed two counts of aggravated sexual assault. His fiancé had recently left him, which served as a trigger for the recent murders.
Despite protests, you were checked out by EMS before you could go back to the motel. They wanted to ensure you weren’t drugged and that you didn’t have any puncture wounds from the nails on you neck or thigh. Hotch spoke to you, told you that you did a good job, but in all honesty you just wanted to go lay down in the shitty bed that was waiting for you, and sleep away the events of the night. Fate clearly had other plans.
You were stepping out of the shower when you heard a knock at the front door. You called out to whoever it was, you assumed JJ or Morgan, that you be there in a minute. Quickly, you threw on a pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt, and let your hair down from the towel that had been holding it.
Opening the door to your room did not yield the results you expected. Standing in front of you, in the same clothes he’d been wearing at the bar, was Spencer. He looked tired and his hair was sticking up like he’d spent the last two hours running his hands through it. He asked to come in. You stepped aside but did not welcome him.
“What do you need Reid? I’m really not looking to fight, I just want to sleep.”
He looked over your frame once, and then shut the door behind him.
“You drive me crazy.”
You cut him off, with a quick “Get out.”
“No, look just please let me talk to you.” You wish the desperation in his voice didn’t draw you back in immediately.
He inches closer to you as you moved away from him and says softly, “You’re stubborn and you drive me crazy. But, you were right today-“
“Please stop,” you bite back, again cutting him off.
“Christ Y/n, just let me get through this.”
He almost waits for you to stop him again before continuing. “You make me feel fucking crazy, and I can’t think and I hate it. I hate what you do to me. I hate the way I feel around you.”
“Spencer, please just go. I don’t need you to tell me that I’m terrible at my job for a second time today. Try it again tomorrow.”
You move to open the door but he grabs you before you can reach it.
“Stop talking, Y/N.”
His hands are on your waist and you heartbeat is in your throat and you know you should push him off of you but you can’t make yourself do it. He’s closer to you than he’s ever been and you can smell his sweat. As much as you want to scream at him, and force him out of your room, you can’t help but feel a warmth pooling in between your thighs.
He is impossibly closer when he says, “Y/n, please.”
You couldn’t tell you who moves in first, but suddenly his lips are on yours and your hands are tugging in his hair while his hold you to him. You can feel all of him and it doesn’t seem like it is possibly enough. All you know, is that he breaks away first.
“I don’t know how to handle myself around you. I shouldn’t be here. Fuck, I’m so sorry.”
Now it’s your turn to grab the man in front of you.
“Spencer, shut up.”
You pull him back to your lips, and you can feel the moment his resolve breaks. He is everywhere. His hands run up your waist and dip below you shirt, and at first it’s hesitant, but then he’s pushing you toward the mattress and pressing himself onto you.
“You think I don’t see the way you look at me every day?”
You try to reply, “You’re full of shit,” but your sentence dies off as his fingers brush over your nipple. You’re panting into his mouth and you feel him hard against you hip. Without thought, your hips roll into his, desperate for pleasure.
His hands are everywhere, and his mouth follows suit, trailing down your neck and biting hard into your shoulder. His hands become more confident but still shockingly gentle. You imagined he’d be rough and angry, almost punishing, but this is so much worse. He is caring and his lips pause over your heart beat, allowing you to feel the warmth they carry. Tears are forming in your eyes and you do your best to blink them back as his hand grip the edge of your shirt and pull it over your head.
He curses to himself when he sees you, and you feel goosebumps rise on your skin. His fingers roll over the buds on your chest and you cry out, “Spencer, please.”
You don’t even know what you’re asking him for, but he seems to understand. His fingers slip beneath the waist band of your shorts, finding your centre and rubbing gently over your clit.
“God you’re so fucking wet and I’ve barely even touched you.”
You’re lost in his touch, and the way his hands are relentless in their pursuit tells you that he is too. You never expected him to talk like this. Fantasized, sure, but actually having him right above you is almost too much to bear. It is too much, and you don’t understand it, and the tears that were forming earlier become to heavy to hold back. The gentle moans you had been letting pass through your lips turn into sobs and his fingers still as soon as he hears you.
His voice is shaken and small when he asks, “Y/n? What’s wrong, what did I do?”
His question rocks through you and makes the tears well up so much faster than they were before.
“I’m so sorry,” you choke out. “I’m so sorry. I was cruel to you and you’re being so gentle with me and I don’t understand. You, you don’t have to do this for me just because you feel bad.”
He pulls you into him in a way that is different than before, and tries to wipe away the tears you let spill.
“Y/n, that isn’t what this is. I- I should be apologizing to you. I’ve been so terrible to you and you’ve been nothing but kind.”
You scoff, thinking back to earlier in the day, and try to push him away but he holds you closer and forces you to look at him.
“You were right, Y/n. I’ve been so scared of losing more people since Maeve, and when you joined the team it was clear how wonderful you were from the second you walked in. You’re so good and so intelligent, Y/n. I was fucking terrified of how drawn to you I was, so I pushed you away and I was too dumb to realize it was hurting you until today.”
His lips find your forehead, ghosting a kiss over it before continuing, “I’ve spent the last two years failing miserably at not forming an attachment to you, and I hurt you. Please, let me show you that I care.”
You know that you should be mad at him, but you’ve never been able to stay angry at the man in front of you. So, instead of trying to fight the feelings you both had been trying to for years, you let him in.
Your lips find his for the second time that night, and this time you each won’t let the other run off. His hands travel down your body again as he whispers sweet nothings in you ear and pulls your shorts off of you. When he reconnects with your heat, the sensation feels so much greater than before. You push yourself into his hand, and gasp when his fingers find their way inside you. Their pace is languid and exploratory as he curls himself inside of you, finding a spot that makes you feel like you’re on fire.
His lips that were exploring the expanse of your chest find their way back up to yours, and it gives you the courage to press your hand to the tent of his pants. Your action makes him still momentarily but then he presses more firmly into you.
He breaks away from you and says “You feel so good,” but isn’t enough. You whine into his mouth and push your hands to try and undo the buttons of his shirt. He breathes out a laugh and helps you guide it off of him. Still, you’re nothing if not greedy and you want more, so your hands move from his chest to his belt, and suddenly he is bare to you.
As you take him in, you feel your mouth fall open, and you can’t help but reach out to touch him and whisper, “You’re so big.”
This action decidedly pushes him over the edge as a groan falls from his lips and his hands resume their previous mission at a much faster pace. You can feel the pit forming in your stomach as he reduces you to incomprehensible babble and you both know you’re close. His thumb finds your clit and you feel yourself diving over the edge as your orgasm finds you. He nurses you through it, drawing the feeling out, before removing his fingers.
“You’re so beautiful, Y/n.”
You’re overcome with affection for the man above you, and you feel an incredible need to express it, but you can’t find the words. Instead, you do your best to flip him and lower yourself down his body. He watches you in awe, which almost surprises you because how could he think you wouldn’t want him in every possible way.
Once you’ve kissed your way down his chest and over his stomach, you move to put him in your mouth.
He stops you before you can, and your heart drops, scared that the illusion has shattered and he has decided he no longer wants you.
He remedies your fears quickly though when he says, “Y/n, you don’t have to.”
“I want to. I really want to, Spence. I- I want you.”
You swear you see love in his eyes, but push the thought aside and take him in your mouth.
You savor the feeling of taking him in, the way he fills your mouth and touches the back of your throat. You can’t fit him in his entirety and your hand has to pick up the slack, which seems to drive him crazy. Still, something in you wants to give him full control over you. So, when you come up for air, you take his hand and guide it to the back of your head, and genius that he is, he takes the hint. He pushes himself deeper down your throat as his hands tangle in your hair. The rhythm he build is perfect.
“You’re so fucking good, baby.”
The pet name makes your thighs press together, desperate for another release. His mouth is growing filthier by the minute.
“Fuck, Y/n. You like having my cock down you throat don’t you? Just so desperate to please, aren’t you?”
You moan around him before pulling off, feeling needier than you think you ever have before. As much as you want to make him come with your mouth, you need him inside you.
“Spencer, I need more.”
He laughs a little and says, “You’ve got to use your words, Y/n. Tell me what you want.”
The thought of saying it feels more embarrassing than anything you’ve done so far, but your desire outweighs it and you tell him, “I want you inside.”
“There you go, baby. Want me to fuck you, huh?”
You know he isn’t really asking, but you can’t stop yourself from nodding regardless.
Before going any further he asks, “Do you have a condom?”
“I don’t think so. I have an IUD and I’m clean. I trust you, but if you want to stop I get it.”
Without responding, he’s flipped you over and is now holding himself over you once again. For a second, he just looks down at you, but a small ‘please’ falling from your lips is enough to break his daze. He runs his hands down your stomach, grazing over your centre, before grabbing himself and lining up with you. The moment he starts to push himself in, you feel so full you might cry.
Your body is white hot, a feeling you haven’t experienced in any of your other sexual encounters. Hell, most of them haven’t made you come once, but with Reid you’re already bordering on a second orgasm just from him pushing into you. His pace is perfectly slow, and you can see his jaw clenched as he tries to restrain himself.
“I’m okay. You can go harder, I want you harder.”
Your words have the desired effect and you watch as he lets go. He’s everywhere and each stroke hits places that send you into a tailspin. When he rocks into you, his pelvis bushes over your clit perfectly.
“I’m gonna come, Spence. Fuck, fuck I’m coming.”
“God, I can fucking feel it, Y/n. You’re so fucking tight for me.”
If you had any shame left in you, you might be embarrassed at how quickly you came a second time, but all you can focus on is the rhythm of Spencer above you. You can feel his movements growing sloppier and you know that he’s close too.
“I’m gonna come, baby Where do you want it?”
You all but cry out, “Inside, Spencer. Please I want you inside.”
This pushes him over the edge and you can feel him pulse inside you. The sensation is almost enough to make you come again.
“Fuck, Y/n, where did that come from.”
You don’t respond and he seems to notice the dazed look in your eyes as he pulls out of you. Before you can get used to the emptiness, you feel his fingers trace your entrance.
“You want me to fuck my come back into you, huh? Make sure you’re really full?”
You nod, almost subconsciously, and he begins pushing his fingers into you at a relentless pace. You reach and heap his arm to center yourself, but it’s no use.
“Just one more, love. Let me show you how sorry I am.”
Your body is shaking and tears, different than before, well in your eyes and begin to break free.
“Such a pretty, filthy girl. Let go for me, baby. Can you do that? Can you come for me?”
You’ve always been one to please, and you feel the ball of tension in your stomach break free. Everything is white and the only thing you can do is call out Spencer’s name.
“So fucking pretty, Y/n. Come back, baby. I want to see your eyes.”
You didn’t even realize they were closed, but when they open you’re greeted with Spencer’s face above you. He smiles down at you and moves to get off the bed, which causes a jolt of panic to course through you.
“Don’t leave,” you all but yell. “Please, just stay with me tonight.”
He quells all your worries with a sentence, “Just getting a towel to clean you up. I’m not going to leave you anytime soon.”
done! let me know what you think!
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