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painfullyaverageravenclaw · 2 years

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My Favorite Vtuber Songs

This list is literally only because I want a chance to infodump about covers and original songs that make me really happy.

King cover by Kuzuha

I mean,,,how could I not have King on this list. This was the first song that I heard Kuzuha sing and fell in love with his voice. To me, Kuzuha sounds the same when he sings and talks. I think that's really interesting lol

2. Excuse my rudeness but could you please RIP by Mori Calliope

Literally my favorite song by Cali. The video hurts my eyes but besides that, I like that they used her model for it! I think that was really creative.

3. Dreamin Night cover by Suntempo (Roberu Yukoku, Temma Kishido, and Astel Leda)

Holy shit this!!! Roberu rapping is everything I needed and more. Temma being all shy n shit is so cute! Not to mention Astel's deeper rapping was super cool. I need more suntempo rapping.

4. King cover by Belmond Banderas

This song was my first time hearing Bel sing and holy fucking shit I was blown away. I already like his speaking voice, finding it calming. Hearing him sing is like being blessed by the gods, sounding literally otherworldly.

5. King cover by Pavolia Reine

Holy fuck. This is the perfect remix king needed. I feel like it adds a certain edge that other covers can't achieve with just voice. Not to mention the video has a fun playfulness that adds to the edge.

6. Hope in the dark by Luxiem (Ike Eveland, Vox Akuma, Mysta Rias, Luca Kashiro, and Shu Yamino)

This right here is my favorite NijiEN group song. It's the perfect mix of something that's more on the jazzy side but has hints of pop. It scratches a certain part of my brain just right. Not to mention it spawned funny memes. I was pleasantly surprised by everyone's voices.

7. Graveyard shift by Mori Calliope ft BOOGE VOXX

Complete serotonin. This song right here makes me wish I knew japanese so I could sing along. This song packs a punch and pleases my brain so much.

8. Daddy daddy do cover by Rikka and Natsuiro Matsuri

Oh my god. Their voices blend with each other so well. Not to mention the absolutely stunning work for the art and the cute outfits Matsuri and Rikka are wearing. I hope they perform this one live.

9. Daddy daddy do cover by Oga Aaragami and Ayuna Risu

They performed this song twice with each version having one of them lead. The one I linked was Oga's but Risu's is just as beautiful. I actually forgot that the song wasn't originally jazzy because I was so used to their covers lol

10. Memeshikute cover by Kenmoshi Touya, Shellin Burgundy, and Uzuki Kou

If you want to laugh so hard you cry looking at a music video, this is it. I've laughed so hard at a music video. Especially at the end with Kanae, Kuzuha, Kagami, Yashiro, Belmold, Chaika, and Maimoto with the pom poms. You can really tell who was happy to be there and who wasn't.

11. Mitsu no Aji by Rain Drops (aka Elu, Akina Saegusa, Rushen, Suzuki Masaru, Joe Rikiichi, and Warabeda Meji)

This was my first Rain Drops experience and god do I not regret it. I wish I found them sooner so I could fully appreciate their music. I don't know if Rain Drops is retired because Meji graduated but I hope they continue to make music, even if they are missing a member.

12. Identity cover by Astel Leda and Seto Kazuya

There are no words I can use to describe how much I love this cover. I already really liked Seto's singing voice (which was one of the main reasons why I subbed to him) so hearing him with Astel was a blessing.

13. Tsunami by Finana Ryugu

When I saw that Kira helped with this song, I knew this one would be good. I love the lyrics so much. Funny enough, I don't really imagine Finana's character singing this song. I imagine a lesbian siren who seduces men for the fun of it lol

14. Doggy God's Street by Korone Inugami

I always thought Korone could sing beautifully but her rapping is another level. I love the music video too. It's so stylized and so cute! Literally my favorite art style. Plus all the little references are a nice touch too.

15. Otome Kaibou cover by Taka Radjiman

This song had made me cry more times than I'd like to admit. It's such a beautiful piece and Taka's voice really sells it. I wanna get this song tattooed in my brain I love it so much. Taka's voice to me is like a warm cup of tea while sitting in the car with the heater on waiting for someone to finish whatever they're doing so you can go home if that makes any sense.

16. Mitsu no Adji cover by Akina Saegusa

I know I put the original song on this list (and Akina is literally in the original song) but listen. Hearing Akina sing by himself makes the song much more depressing than it already is. Hearing Akina sing by himself made me want a solo cover of the song by other Rain Drops members.

17. Chronos cover by Ike Eveland

Holy fucking shit this cover right here. Ike already has a really pretty voice that feels like an angel is singing to me but hearing him go from singing to death screaming is such a switch that I didn't know I needed to hear till now.

18. Envy Baby cover by Kanae

I will never be able to fully explain how much I love Kanae's voice (and Kanae in general) and this song is what I show people when they wanna hear a vtuber cover a song. Hell, I show this cover to people who just wanna know what music I like.

19. Hail Holy Queen cover by Levi Elipha, Nagao Kei, DebiDebi Debiru, Melissa Kinreka, Genzuki Tojiro, Todoroki Kyoko, Sister Claire, Sukoya Kana, and Hayase Sou

First of, yes, this song is from Sister Act. Yes, the movie is random. Yes, there is quite a list of livers in this song. It doesn't stop it from being fucking hilarious and amazing. At first, I was so fucking confused I'm not gonna lie but it quickly grew on me.

20. Cendrillon cover by Levi Elipha and Genzuki Tojiro

Holy fucking shit this. This song makes me weep /pos. I have never been so emotionally moved randomly when listening to a song before. I had just randomly found this song one day via one of those youtube playlists and I have fallen in love with this song. I want this song played at my wedding.

21. Identity unofficial cover by Shu Yamino

Shu didn't cover this song officially but I still really think it's nice. I'm in love with Shu's voice. I hope he does an official cover of this song some time. Preferably a solo cover because I think this song is so perfect for his voice. Also support the artist because this was their fanmade MV.

22. Dizzy Dizzy cover by Kanae and Akina Saegusa

These two need to sing with each other more often I swear. Their voices compliment each other so well. Two of my favorite Nijisanji singers singing together is like a dream to me. I know Kanae and Kuzuha are like the main duo but Akina and Kanae should do more stuff together.

23. Matoryoshka cover by Akina Saegusa and Fuwa Minato

I recently found this cover and I prefer this version to the original. I also really like the artstyle that the music video is in. I like seeing this side of Akina, even if it's just in art. I would love to see more art of Akina and Fuwa based off of this cover.

24. W.I.M by Arurandeisu

Arupapa out here rapping his heart out. I was super surprised to have stumbled upon this song and fell in love with it. Holostars does not get enough recognition and I feel like Aruran's song fit's the loose casual vibes Holostars gives me.

25. Pentas by Holostars (Roberu Yukoku, Arurandeisu, Kageyama Shien, Temma Kishido, and Oga Aragami)

I love Holostars. I love them so much man.

Anyways, I'm done ranting for now. I love vtubers a lot and they have helped me through a lot. I really like ranting about livers and enjoying their dumb content.

#holostars #vtubers #hololive #nijisanji #nijisanji en #nijisanji jp #nijisanji id #michael is losing their mind to the hyperfixaction

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transautisticmikewheeler · 1 year

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I would love to hear about your stranger things pjo au!!! Love both stories, all the better to mix them

well, buckle the FUCK up! /lh

❗ Before we begin, i'd like to give some warnings for abuse (csa, physical, emotional), self-harm/suicide, scars, neglect/abandonment, religion (mention of camps), minor character death, mention of kidnapping, eating disorders❗

this has taken TWO DAYS and it's long and not even finished but i'm tired of looking at it so

🎸 First character: michael wheeler. 🎸

love the kid to death. proud kinnie and apologist.

but

he's a fucking menace in this au. a mini percy, if you will.

15, genderfluid, he/they/she, boy kisser.

from hawkins indiana, bullied very badly as a kid for being neurodivergent, abusive father that does not know what a boundary is especially when he's drunk.

(that's projection right there - at its finest)

hypersexual for obvious reasons.

convinces a not-aware-of-the-abuse nancy to run away at 12 and 15. leave without any parting words to anyone.

make it to camp half blood where they are quickly claimed and mike is the first to meet percy, who has become a social worker/therapist alongside an oc of mine, chase williams.

he's given the following diagnoses: adhd, dyslexia, autism, cptsd, bpd with severe dissociation, mdd, and gad with panic attacks .

has been on 2 quests in his 3 years at camp. both, he does not talk about.

will becomes his fp basically on sight (i know- i was there. mike told me himself)

so fucking stupid its a wonder they put him against the ares cabin bc his smart mouth is brutal.

visible self-harm scars and will get so pissed if you ask about any of his scars. will tell you to mind your business.

⭐ AND THAT BRINGS US TO WILL ⭐

15, trans guy, he/him, queer.

aphrodite bitch that loves looking like he lives in a conservative 80s small town horror movie but like,,, the amount of tan and neutral works somehow? with some golden yellow and rusty oranges that make his green eyes shimmer and pop.

big artist and has hecate's blessing and OH MY GOD will with powers???? illusions???? fuckin CHARMSPEAK????? he's in his magician era lmao /lh /j

from cali. bisexual icon joyce brought her boys to camp early so they're prepared. i say she's the sally of stranger things

has the included adhd and dyslexia but with added cptsd, schizophrenia, and autism. that should be interesting.

has been on 6 quests since age 10, some successful, some not.

i want will to have eyeliner. i want to see him with it so bad. and painted nails. usually pink, yellow, or black.

🎵 NOW. EDDIE FUCKING MUNSON 🎵

21, nonbinary man, he/she, queer as hell

willeddie siblings. trans aphrodite kids against the world.

has apollo's blessing. very much a partner in crime to percy, they bond over music taste.

adhd, dyscaulia, bipolar 1, and cptsd

such a chill fucking dude but will ramble for years and years and years if you don't stop him.

very powerful charmspeak and very good at seeing the ties between people. has a celestial bronze dagger essentially named "freak"

sucker for apollo cabin counselor steve harrington

☀️ mr. steven harrington~ ☀️

19, trans man, he/him, bisexual

apollo kid, lover of pop, singer-songwriter.

very laidback, from TN surprisingly. has religious trauma, unsurprisingly, from being in a baptist christian family and being sent to summer camps until he was abandoned at age 16 by his mom and step dad.

adhd, dyslexia, hpd, cptsd, and unspecified dissociative disorder. hypersexual from a few instances of csa as a young child by someone at one of the summer camps he was sent to.

definitely has a knack for swinging blunt objects, of which he has a celestial bronze bat he carries everywhere along with a backup dagger.

thinks kids are fun to work with and teaches archery alongside chiron, which is unexpected but welcomed.

an okay healer. average. knows first aid, cpr, the basics

💜 the badass, nancy wheeler 💜

18, cis female, she/her, lesbian

athena kid through and fucking through. so smart but, like mike, oblivous and super dumb.

spends a lot of time out of the house as a kid until she and mike run away.

works for the camp newspaper, freelance journalist as she attempts college classes.

not the one you want against you in capture the flag.

chooses the gun bc she briefly has "i'm not like other girls" syndrome but finds it actually fits her.

her and annabeth talk all the time. to the point percy complains to mike about it.

robin buckley- love at first sight

📼 ROBIN, MY MAIN GIRL 📼

18, nonbinary woman, she/they/neos, woman kisser

also a big music person but POETRY. she absolutely loves poetry and symbolism and all that shit.

romance and sci-fi nerd.

dresses like a gay drama professor or gives off young richie tozier vibes, no in-between.

can name each bone in your body as she breaks it. loves her independent gf nancy.

adhd, dyslexia, autism, ptsd, and severe auditory processing issues.

indie music seems like her style but scene queen owns her soul and she'd sell it for ashnikko

thought about being a film major

steve's platonic better half as they should be

comes from an emotionally abusive household

📷 jonny boy 📷

19, trans man, he/him, aceflux demigayromantic

dates a clear-sighted mortal (affectionate)

aphrodite's son that may not be "conventionally attractive", but he has a knack for matchmaking and fashion, which he then neglects because he opts for a camp shirt and jeans with tennis shoes.

mild adhd, dyslexia, AUTISM, cptsd, avpd, gad, generalized depression

so many sensory issues and needs, but tries to be independent, which can lead to bouts of anger, frustration, and, sometimes, crying.

was severely bullied in school and he was physically and emotionally abused by his step dad, who his mom was not married to for very long

works with nancy and takes photographs for the paper sometimes.

🌻 el my beloved 🌻

15, nonbinary, they/them, pan ace, poly

as a kid of demeter, el has always been a plant lover. discovered their powers early

bedroom pop lover and blessed by aphrodite.

would rather rely on their powers than a weapon but does have a small dagger on them at all times.

elmike duo my sweets,,,

adhd, dyslexia, autism, cptsd, system (no amnesia, 2 other alters; jane and 11, who is different from el)

by early i mean she was growing plants at a rapid rate by the time she was 5. the wrong person saw it and she was kidnapped and abused severely until she was ten, when she was rescued by local police chief jim hopper, who later adopted her bc her mortal parent had been in an accident not too long after she was taken and did not make it.

🌸 baby girl chrissy 🌸

19, demigirl, she/they, aroace

daughter of demeter, very sweet

very much a basic pastel stereotype but we love her anyway, she's amazing.

has the following: adhd, dyslexia, bullimia, cptsd, gad with panic attacks

her dad's very much a pushover and her stepmom's heavily emotionally and verbally abusive and makes comments about her weight all the time

she only spends a few weeks of the year at home and it's usually only for her dad.

#🌻 to the sky of doubt au 🌻#stranger things #mike wheeler #will byers #byler #eddie munson #stranger things au #pjo au #lgbt #steve harrington #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #el hopper #chrissy cunningham #🔗#answered asks

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elliesbelle · 6 months

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hiii lesbian whisperer, i hope ure doing fab today. i currently come to u seeking advise!! (don’t feel forced or rushed to reply to any of this btw, i’m kinda just ranting since i don’t have a lesbian whisperer irl. 😭)

but ummmm. basically there is this starbucks barista who worked inside the store i worked at and like. naturally i sort of developed a crush on her except i’m pretty sure she doesn’t know who i am lmao. but we have shared a few tiny interactions here and there (which i doubt she remembers. cuz like, i’m THE MOST introverted bitch u will ever meet) and like for context, i just suck at flirting with girls and holding long conversations with them bc it’s just not in my nature, which is HORRIBLE for me. anywayyy, we both don’t work there anymore, but one of my friends befriended a few of those starbucks baristas and they hang out as a group every monday, and she’s been telling me to join them bc she thinks i’ll get along with them since they like the same music as me and have similar humor. (and honestly i know deep down she is trying to put me on LOLL god bless her), but i said no at first bc i don’t do well in those types of settings (anddd she didn’t mention that my crush would be there! 🤣) but then recently i found out that she also hangs out with my crush on mondays! like, she’s a part of that group! my friend and her are, like, friends! so i was like, OH!

no one knows i have a crush on her. and honestly, i find it embarrassing telling my friends when i have a crush. i’m just not good at that stuff!!!

SO IF I DO JOIN THEM TMR IDK HOW TO ACT!?? like how am i supposed to get to know ONE person in a group setting if everyone already knows each other without making it obvious or creeping her out….? and then how am i supposed to like actually flirt with her and i guess make a good first impression…. ohmygod i am freaking out. 😀

thankfully i know that she’s bi so at least i have a chancee (omg im getting cocky arent i) but yeah i’m just so scared. 😔 being a socially awkward lesbian is not for the weak!!!

thank u for reading this far, any advise and/or advanced condolences are very much appreciated! LOL. and much love to u belle <3 i hope u know we appreciate having u on this app and on this earth SM! your page is like one of my comfort blogs fr. have a great rest of ur day! 💘💘

nawt theee lesbian whisperer 💀 (it’s true)

omg i hope you did join the group!! that sounds so exciting!! you don’t have to tell your friends that you have a crush on her if you don’t want to, but you can’t have anything happen if you don’t make a move!

my advice is when you do hang out with her in a group, definitely socialize with everyone else, but give her a little extra attention, yk? not in an obvious way, but kind of like, gravitate towards her? and to help with the nerves, just act friendly towards her for now! like, approach her like you would someone you’d like to be friends with. that way, you’ll get used to talking to her and get a feel of the vibe y’all have with each other (you can start out being like, “omg i think i know you, you used to work at this starbucks i would go to).

being a socially awkward lesbian def is hard, but unfortunately if you want a gf, you gotta take initiative! you got no choice, love, cause chances are that the other person you like won’t make advances either.

good luck babes! and lmk how it goes, if you’d like!

#literally that’s always my general lesbian advice in approaching your crushes #take initiative and be bold #y’all should see the convos between me and star #it’s me yelling at star to be bold and her not wanting to listen sldkfjdkls #anon #belle answers

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btsmakesmehappy · 4 years

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Palate Cleanser | 1

Genre: Agent au, friends with benefit (sort of), Stranger to lover, Angst, Fluff, Eventual Smut

Pairing: Agent!Taehyung x Baker!reader

Word Count: 5,6k

Rating: 18+ (M)

Warning: broken heart, cursing.

Chapter: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 completed

Summary: Taehyung needs something to take his mind off his broken heart. His best friend, Jimin, suggests that he should meet another woman and the first woman he met was you. Would you help him even though you have your own problem, that you hate men?

a/n: Hello again! This mini series is a continuation from Broken Vase. You can read it as as a standalone, but it’s better if you read it first for better understanding! As always, english is not my first language, so I would really appreciate if you give me correction or any suggestion. Please tell me if you want to be added on the taglist!

Also this is gonna be a part of The Company series (Click it for agents’ description!). Please look forward for it!

Taehyung walks mindlessly in the city. It is already noon, but still, he doesn’t want to go back to the company. The sun shines brightly like it is mocking him. And how the roads are full of couples, it is like hell to him. He hates it. He wants to be with someone too. Someone whose hand he can hold in the middle of a busy street. Not just someone, but someone he truly loves. That particular one who chooses Namjoon over him. He knows that the girl loves Namjoon deeply. He always knows it. Yet he refuses to acknowledge it. He thought that if he stays with her by her side, she will reciprocate his feelings. But it is just a mere hope. Love is not that simple.

His phone vibrates inside his pocket. He looks at it only to find Jimin is calling him. “What do you want, chim?” He then moves to the sidewalk, to take the call. His back leans onto a brick wall.

“Hello to you too. Where the fuck are you? The meeting is in 5 minutes, you know!” Jimin yells from the telephone. Taehyung taps his foot impatiently, waiting for Jimin to stop his blabbering. “Just come here fast!”

Taehyung interrupts, “I am not coming.”

There is silence on the phone and when Taehyung wants to turn his phone off, Jimin yells again. “Are you crazy? The meeting is about our mission in Hawaii. All of the agents who worked in it must be present. Our boss and that girl are gonna ask me about you.”

Taehyung can feel his heart stop for a bit after hearing about that girl. The girl he loves. But still, he doesn’t want to meet her. He is not ready. She will be together with Namjoon in the meeting. A sight he never wants to see. “Just act like you don’t know anything! I am hanging up!” Taehyung hangs up before Jimin replies back. He then turns his phone off and puts it again inside his pocket.

Yes, he thinks that it is not professional for him to avoid Namjoon and the girl. He doesn’t hate them, Hell no. Namjoon is one of his best friends and so does she. But he still needs a moment to mourn, to finally moving on. He sighs and walks again. His stomach grumbles. He hasn’t eaten anything since yesterday. He doesn’t even believe it himself. He thinks that only women will have anorexic as a breakup phase. But it seems, losing appetite applied for every human being who is brokenhearted.

His feet stop in front of a small bakery. It has a blue color outside and yellow inside, a rare combination since some people think that blue is not an appetizing color. He decides to buy some bread and eat it in the park, he is not in the mood of any rice right now. He just needs something to fill his empty stomach. The bell in the door rings as he opens it.

He is welcomed by delicious smells of freshly-baked bread. He takes a tray and walks around. Somehow the smells make his stomach growls even louder. After many considerations, he chooses a bread with red bean paste and butter and also an egg sandwich. He also takes a coke from the chiller and walks to the cashier.

He puts the tray in the cashier and his eyes wandering around the small bakery. The bakery itself is cozy, with some corners full of cute photo spots. There is only some seating area in front of the cashier. Taehyung is nodding at the rhythm of the music when his eyes dart at a little placard with a hand-written scribble beside the cashier.

Girls get 50% off

Taehyung frowns his brows and asks. “Why do only girls get 50% off?”

You raise your head. “Because all men are trash.” You reply dryly.

Taehyung gawks with that sudden explanation. “I’m sorry, what?”

Just before you say anything to the random guy, someone hit your head. “What the fuck, Hani? Why did you hit me?” you touch your head and look at another girl, Hani, who holds a rolling pin in her hand.

Hani then grabs the placard and tears it into pieces. “How many times did I tell you not to use this stupid ‘girl only’? You want us to go bankrupt?” She then throws it into the trash can. Hani turns to the man in the suit in front of them. “I am really sorry sir.”

“Why? I said the truth!” you shrug. Hani then glares at you, which shuts you up. “Fine. You handle this then.” you then walk to the back, to the kitchen, while Hani handles the cashier.

Taehyung is flabbergasted. His eyes following your back. What a weird girl. “So, how much?”

Hani then smiles, “2700 won. Would you want to pay with cash or card?” Taehyung gives her an exact amount. “Oh, this is a free cookie for you. It’s a new recipe.”

Taehyung takes the paper bag and nods politely. “Thank you.”

“Thank you! Please come again!” She yells to the girl as Taehyung walks out of the door. He can hear how the weird girl is being yelled at. Somehow he finds it amusing and funny, not at all weird.

He walks to the nearby park and sits on the bench. He puts the paper bag beside him. He looks at the bag. Palate Cleanser. A weird name for a bakery. It should be used for an ice cream parlor or that kind of stuff, but instead, they use it in a goddamn bakery. Well, not only the people working there are weirdos, the bakery itself is weird too.

He chuckles. Taehyung loves unusual stuff. He was once scolded by the higher-ups when he showed up in the Company in a pajama set and the other time in a suit with some doodles on the back. It is just his fashion sense, and everybody in the Company just looked at him like he was crazy. Why can't he be the unique one? It’s not that he bothers anyone with his habit nor his fashion sense. He opens the sandwich first and bites it. Not bad. Maybe he will come to that weird bakery again.

“What the fuck, Y/n? You almost scared him away!” Hani yells at you. She puts her hand on her hips. It may be the fifth time she yelled at you about this, this week.

You shrug. “So what? That is my intention anyway.” You open the kitchen cabinet and pull out a sack of flour, chocolates, caramel, and a bottle of peanut butter.

She pinches the bridge of her nose. “He just wanted to buy some bread for god sakes. Not making a move at you!”

You look away and walk to the kitchen island to make another batch of cookies. “Men still are trash.” You said as you rolled your sleeves.

Hani just shakes her head. “Not all men are trash.”

“They are!” you yell. “You lucky you found a good one.”

“Enough with the stubbornness!” She sighs. “Fine then, just think like that. But don’t you ever put that placard again! People would think that this bakery is a lesbian crib, you fucker.” Hani stomps her foot to the front, leaving you alone in the kitchen.

You sigh. I hope I am a lesbian, maybe It’s just better that way. You begin to measure the cookie ingredients. Your mind wanders freely as your hands work. You have done this for almost 5 years now, and you can measure a basic cookie dough subconsciously.

It’s because of Youngjae.

It was maybe the lowest point in your life. You found Youngjae naked in the bed with your college friend who you thought was your best friend. But frankly, she was just a bitch. Youngjae was your boyfriend for 3 years, you dated him in the last year of high school. He was kind, handsome, and smart, basically a grade-A boyfriend. You thought you were blessed for having a nice boyfriend. You gave all of you to him. But apparently, he cheated you all the time in your relationship. For 3 fucking years.

You are glad that you have a nice family and friends to help you through it. You cried, starved yourself, and did not take a bath for weeks in your break up. Hani is one of your friends that supports you in that hard time. Instead of just depressed and sad, she helped you move on. She was the one who printed huge ass banners that said ‘Youngjae got herpes’ with his photo and stuck it on every surface in your college. It probably cost you some dates but you were happy and satisfied. You were relieved that you got out of that unhealthy relationship. But still, you despise all of the men in this world.

You studied hard after that, took patisserie classes, not bothered by guys and dating. You get on your feet and finally, you open a bakery in the middle of the city with your best friend. It is like a successful revenge. Even that jerk ruined your life, you still have your best friend and a great job that you have always dreamt of.

You always love baking since you are just a little kid. You love the moment when you wait in front of the oven. You love to see how all the raw ingredients turn into an edible one. And you love to give your food to people, you love seeing their reaction. There was even a time when you made bread with a miso paste fillings. It was a horrible combination that made Hani and your family throw up. But you love trying new things, or just watching them trying your disgusting food.

You put the cookies in the oven. This time you made a batch of sumbitches, cookies filled with peanut butter, chocolate, and caramel. It is your bakery’s special and most favorite one because your customers are mostly girls. Who says that the girls need love? Well, who needs love if you can eat chewy, sweet, salty, and crunchy fresh baked cookies while watching Netflix?

Taehyung decides to go back to the Company after his lunch. He is racking his brain to avoid the other guys. He looks at his watch. The meeting should be over in an hour. He better moves faster. He speed-walks to his cubicle, nodding at everyone in his way. It is not that he has a job to do. He hasn’t got a new mission yet, so he basically can slack around. He sits on his chair. It’s been a while since he moved back to this city. He always chose to be located in other countries as an asset. He loves to interact with new people and to be in a new environment, not stuck in this tiny cubicle in a suit. But after that Hawaii Mission, the boss orders him to return to the head office, and well, he can’t refuse. Even Yoongi, who was an asset in Hawaii, ordered his return too.

He moves his chair around. He is bored. Maybe he is going to ask Jungkook to play with him. Oh but Jungkook is at the meeting. He sighs as he props his hand under his chin.

“Tae! Where have you been?” It’s the voice he wants to avoid the most. She walks to his cubicle with her bag on her shoulder. He can see the scar on her cheek is not as red as before, since it was from two weeks ago. “You are lucky, the Boss didn’t ask for you!”

He smiles sheepishly. “Ah, right. I kinda forget. So how is the meeting?”

She looks at him suspiciously and puts her arms across her chest. “Yoongi found that Ji Seok had contacted some people before he came to Hawaii. So, we need to investigate them. They sound suspicious from what Yoongi told us before. We thought that they might be the newest members of the Black.”

He tilts his head. “I’m sorry. We?” He is fine with another job to save him from boredom, but to work with her again? It’s just uncomfortable.

She laughs, “Oh, I am sorry. I mean you, Yoongi, Jin, Jimin, and Hoseok. Everyone except me and Namjoon. Can you believe that?”

Taehyung raises one of his eyebrows. At some point, he feels relief that he won’t work with her. “What? Why?”

“Namjoon is getting his ‘punishment’ and sent away to teach the recruits and as for me, I have finally decided to go on therapy.” She smiles proudly.

His jaw drops, “Oh my God! I am so glad you decided to do that!” He stands and hugs her tightly. “What makes you change your mind?”

She returns the hug. “Well, Namjoon kinda talked me into it. I was afraid I would get fired, at first. But he told me that if I get fired, he will leave too.” She laughs. “And after that, I gathered all of my courage to tell our Boss. Fortunately, he doesn’t fire me and encourages me to go to therapy. They told me to think about myself first.”

He gulps and gives a faint smile. “I am so happy for you.”

She then releases his hug. “I want to talk to you more, but I must go to my first session. Talk to you soon, okay?” she then waves and walks to the tall man standing beside the door. The tall man smiles and then puts his arms behind her back and walks with her happily. She never smiles like that before and if Namjoon is the only one who can make her happy, he will gladly let her go. Even if his heart aches whenever he sees her with Namjoon, he will be happy for her. He tries to be happy for her.

He needs to move on. He must let her go.

He drowns in his thoughts, not realizing Jimin walks to him. “Hey, bro. How are you?” Jimin has always been his best friend. They both went to college together and finally decided to work in the same place, Taehyung works in the field area, whereas Jimin works as a handler. Her handler. And Jimin was the one who introduced her to Taehyung.

Taehyung sighs. “So-so.”

Jimin pats his shoulder. “I know. You are doing good, by the way. I am so proud of you.” Jimin always knows about Taehyung’s love for her. It’s not that he is not supporting it, but Jimin has always known that the girl loves Namjoon, since a long time ago. Basically, he is stuck in between helping Taehyung, his best friend, or helping the girl. But love is not that simple, and can’t be controlled with a mere human being like him. It just goes with the flow like a log in the river. And unlucky for Taehyung, the log flows to another stream. “Just tell me if you want to hit the strip club okay? Hoseok is waiting for it too.”

“Haha. Yeah right.” Taehyung shrugs. “Maybe next couple of years.”

“Dude. Why are you so pessimistic about it? You are going to move on soon.”

Taehyung glares at him. “I have loved her for 3 years, okay? It’s not that simple to unlove someone you love.”

Jimin sighs. “You know what? I think you need a palate cleanser.”

Taehyung knits his brows. “What? Why do I need that bakery?”

“What bakery?” He asks back. “No, what I mean is you need some sex to help you get over her! And then you can get ready for a new one.”

“So, you suggest that I should hook up with a prostitute?” He crosses his arms across his chest, finding Jimin’s suggestion to be amusing. Amusing as Jimin who is a hopeless romantic and has been in love with his childhood friend since he was a kid suddenly told him to get a one night stand.

“Eww. No! Just look for a girl, you stupid. Hang out more.”

Taehyung chuckles. “Shouldn’t it be easier to find a prostitute?”

Jimin’s nose scrunches in disgust. “If you say a prostitute again, I won’t ever talk to you.” He then drops a binder on Taehyung’s desk. “Anyway, this is the data for our mission. Jin said that we would have a meeting tomorrow, so you should study it. Oh, did I mention that I am joining the fieldwork too? Finally, I don’t need to stay in front of my computer. I am so thrilled!”

“Wow, congrats bro.” Taehyung pats his shoulder and takes the binder and opens it. “But you should practice your gun skill more then.”

“Right! I think I will practice after this. Alright then, if you need other data just tell me, okay? I’ll see you soon.” Jimin then walks away.

Taehyung drifts his attention to the binder. It looks like there are 3 suspects. They have been contacted by Ji Seok for at least ten times in the last 3 months before Ji Seok is caught. The First suspect is Byun Baekhyun, he went to the same college with Ji Seok, now working in a restaurant in the city. The contacts all happened in his restaurant, with no telephone trace. The second suspect is Park Chanyeol, he lived in the same neighborhood with Ji Seok. He now works as a journalist in a food magazine, last seen with Ji Seok at a work party. The last suspect is Jung Eunji, she has no connection with Ji Seok, but her credit card was used to buy a plane ticket to Hawaii.

His forehead furrows. There is still not enough data to capture them, which means they needed to go to the field to investigate. Another troublesome mission. But at least, he won’t be stuck in front of his computer.

It is the morning. You wake up lazily. You are not a morning person. Even though you have a job which requires you to go to work at 6 am for years, you still go to bed after midnight. You always have other activities that make you busy, either you watch movies or read books. Well, not books. You have been using Tumblr for almost 10 years now. That application has occupied your browser history for almost 10 years, and that is the only reason why people never get to see your phone, there are too many links to your favorite smut authors. There is no way people can see that. Basically it’s just like porn, but you always think that it is more than that. Smut is just full of artistic things too. You love how the author writes such a poetic description of humping with emotional touches which make you cry until 2 in the morning. Well, you did other stuff too besides crying. Let’s just say that not only your face is wet.

You take a quick shower before you go to work. You wrap your body in a towel and pick your clothes for today in the closet. You never go to work in classy clothes, usually, you just wear a t-shirt and jeans, you have to change into your kitchen clothes later after all. You wear your black t-shirt and your ripped jeans quickly, then after tying your hair into a messy bun, you grab your jacket and your purse on the couch. You should go now if you don’t want to be late, or getting scolded by Hani. You shudder in reflex.

It is still chilly in the morning. You keep thinking to yourself, why you hate morning so much when you love the morning weather and how empty the road is, like you own it. You yawn. Well, you hate the wake-up part in the morning. You hate to leave the comfort and the warmth of your blanket.

The walk from your apartment to your bakery is not that long. You are lucky to find such an affordable apartment in the middle of the city. It is small, but it is still livable and pretty. It is close to many things, like the market, train station, and even your bakery. It is a pity you don’t live with Hani. You were going to be Hani’s roommate when you first moved to the city, but now she lives with his boyfriend, Jackson. That’s why, when you first saw the ad of your apartment, you called it without any further thinking.

You arrive at the bakery as you sigh in relief for not seeing Hani’s head inside. Lucky to you, she won’t scold you for this morning. You unlock the door and go straight to your locker room to change your clothes. You then skillfully sweep, mop, and wash all the dishes. And after an hour, you begin to prepare your today’s bread. It’s just your usual menu in your bakery. While you are preparing the dough, your mind wanders, where the hell is Hani?

It’s almost 9 am, and you still can’t find Hani anywhere. You wanted to call her, but as clumsy as you are, you left your phone in your apartment. So you just hope that Hani is fine but her ass will not because you are gonna kick her ass for letting you prepare the bread alone. You sigh as you walk to the front door to turn the sign to ‘Open’.

It has always been a hectic morning for two people to make, display the bread, and handle the customers. And now you are the only one here. It is basically like a war. You still feel lucky, to have people loving your bread. But after 2 hours of working alone, you are admitting defeat. You change the sign on the door to ‘Still baking’ and run to the kitchen to bake some more. It is the only thing you could think of right now. All the bread this morning has already sold out, after all. You are never a multi-tasking girl. So it seems fair for you to work in this type of situation or you will go insane.

Your next batch of bread is already in the oven, and you finally can take a breather. You look at your clock on the wall, it’s almost noon, and Hani is still nowhere to be seen. You begin to worry, but it’s not like you can leave the bakery alone. Then the bell on the door rings. You almost run to the front to yell at Hani for coming so late, but instead Hani, it is a guy.

It’s a guy from yesterday.

He wears a different suit from yesterday, now he is wearing a navy one. His curly hair falls on his forehead smoothly, framing his frowning brows. “Are you close or something?” he asks after he observes your display area.

“My friend is a little late, so I work alone right now.” You give a half-smile, a business one. “If you do mind, you can come back for an hour for the bread. Can’t you see the sign on the door?”

He turns his sculpted face to the door, “Oh, right. Sorry.” He then walks to the seating area, “Can I wait here?”

You bite your lip. But before you say anything to him to forbid him, your alarm in the kitchen rings. You snarl and walk back to the kitchen. “Your call.” You begin to pick your bread and put it to the cooling rack. You then put the already cool one to the plastic back to put it on the display later. Your eyes leer to the guy sitting casually in the seating area in front of the cashier. The presence of a man close to you is kind of uncomfortable.

Taehyung looks at you from the kitchen window. It is a big glass window to show what’s going on inside the kitchen. And that noon, the window lives to its purpose, he can see what you are doing inside. He can see how uncomfortable you are. How you fidget every time you have nothing on your hand. How your eyes sometimes leer at him. It is his ability to know body language, he is an agent, after all. He knows that you are nervous.

Since you told him that all men are trash yesterday, he still thinks of you as a weird girl. Somehow he is drawn to you. At first, he thought it was just a joke or a prank, but seeing how awkward you are when you see him, he realizes that you do hate men. And he thinks it’s really adorable.

You then go out from the kitchen with a pan of freshly baked bread and walk to the display. You put them neatly, quietly, trying not to mind him, while mentally praying for Hani to come sooner.

“Wow, you really do hate men, don’t you?” He asks abruptly.

His deep voice startled you. Your empty pan falls to the ground as the impact, making a loud noise in the room. You then give him a dirty look. “Pardon?”

He walks to the display area, casually observing the bread. He then takes a piece of bread. “I thought it just a joke when you said all men are trash.” He walks back to his chair, opens the plastic, and bite the bread.

You raise one of your eyebrows. “So?” You ask without batting an eye.

“Nothing. Just find it amusing.”

You walk to the chair in front of him and pull it. You sit there facing him. “You have a problem with that?”

“No.” Taehyung throws his last bite to his mouth and chews it quickly. He inches forward to your face. “Let me guess. Hm.. You got dumped, didn’t you?”

You widen your eyes. “No, I didn’t! I was the one who dumped him!” You put your hand on your mouth. What the hell are you doing telling strangers that?

He hums and folds his arms across his chest. “Okay, let me try again.” He studies you for a bit. “Your boyfriend cheated on you with your friend?”

Your jaw drops and you can feel a flush crept on your face. “How do you know?” You ask in a shock.

He smirks and shrugs confidently. “I am just that good you know.” He chuckles. “Actually no, I just guessed it.”

Just when you wanted to reply to him, the door opened harshly. And there you find your best friend rushing towards you. “Oh my God, Y/N! I am sorry.”

You observe her from the top to her feet, well, she seems fine. That’s the important thing. You sigh. “Where have you been?”

“Jackson got sick so I took him to the hospital. I have been calling you for a hundred times, where is your phone?” Hani asks. You can see her face is bare, she didn’t even draw her eyebrows.

“I left it at home. Is Jackson okay?”

Hani takes off his jacket and rolls her sleeves. “Yeah, just a little infection, he will be fine.” She looks around the bakery. “I can’t believe you open this yourself, I feel terrible.”

You wave your hands. “It’s okay. But I think we should hire a part-timer. It has been a hell for me.”

She rubs her chin. “Yes, I think it is time for us to have a helper.” Hani then looks to the side to find a man there. “I am sorry. Am I interrupting something?” She smiles.

Taehyung smiles back and laughs. “Not really. We just discussed about her hatred of men. I got free bread for guessing the reason right!”

“It’s not free-“

You are interrupted by Hani’s laughter. “It is ridiculous, right? I talked to her all the time that not all men are like that.” Her voice then quieten. “I even told her to find a palate cleanser, you know. And, this is a lil bit TMI. But actually, it’s the reason why we use that name for our bakery.”

Palate cleanser. Taehyung then remembers what Jimin said to him yesterday. And an idea comes to his head.

You push Hani’s back to the locker room. “Alright, alright. Just go change already.” She follows your instruction as she waves to Taehyung.

Taehyung looks at his watch and then gathers his stuff and rises from his chair. He walks towards you and he holds out his hand to you. “I am Taehyung.”

You take his hand after many considerations. “Y/N.”

Taehyung smiles. He then takes his wallet out from his pocket and pulls out a card. A black name card. “This is my number. If you are interested in the palate cleanser thing,” he then forcefully puts the name card on your hand, “please give me a call.” He winks and Taehyung walks away to the door, leaving you speechless on the spot.

You are stunned, seeing the card on your hand. After a few seconds, you realize. You ran outside to catch him. “Hey, you haven’t paid!” but Taehyung has vanished in the crowded road.

“Finally!” Jimin yells. All of the 5 members gather in the meeting room, with Jin in the middle. It’s already 15 minutes past the meeting time. Taehyung walks faster and sits beside his friend.

Jin sighs, “I swear to God, if you are late one more time, I will kick your ass in the practice room.” He shifts his eye to Jungkook beside him. “Actually, I will ask Jungkook to do it.”

Taehyung being such a brat, like he always does, shrugs. “Fine. I am sorry. Please continue the meeting.”

Jin pouts and rolls his eyes. “What I am saying is, we need to gather as many pieces of information from the 3 suspects and they should know nothing. The Black is still an influential organization. We must be careful not to attract any attention.”

Hoseok raises his hand. “But actually, haven’t we attracted the attention already by capturing the leader in Hawaii?”

“That’s true. But most of the new members seem to be a rookie in this field, they haven’t been that loyal to him. For short, they are terrified. They will do whatever they take to throw all of the evidence that shows they’re in the organization right away. That’s why it’s our chance to dig a little deeper.” Jin continues.

“So what is the plan?” Jungkook asks.

Yoongi rises from his seat and connects his laptop. He then shows all of the suspect’s profiles. “Jin and I already talked to our boss. We think that we should divide ourselves into groups to tail them.”

“So, Jimin and Yoongi will investigate Jung Eunji. Taehyung and Hoseok will investigate Park Chanyeol, and the last, Jungkook and I will investigate Byun Baekhyun.” Jin folds his hands across his chest. “You will be needed to submit your report every single day at 00.00. Just tailing, no harsh approaches. If they suspect something, you will retreat and report to me. We don’t need another attraction. Are we clear?”

All of the members nod and rise from their seats as Jin dismisses them. Taehyung walks to Hoseok. “So do we get a stake-out van?”

It is almost midnight but you still can’t fall asleep. You move your body anxiously on the bed, trying to get comfortable. Finally, you surrender. You pick your phone, scrolling on Tumblr. It is a bad idea actually. You always think that reading some stories will make you go to sleep, but instead, you feel excited and end up reading fifteen chapters of 10k stories. But tonight, you can’t find other stories to read.

You sigh. Your mind begins to wander. And suddenly Taehyung pops out in your mind. A palate cleanser, huh? It is tempting actually. He looks nice. Well, nice doesn’t do justice to him. You have never found a guy as handsome as him. It really makes nonsense to you. His beauty is beyond words. And to have such a guy to offer you such service, you must be dreaming.

Or, is he a prostitute? That’s why he looks so ethereal!

You turn your headlamp on and walk to your purse, where you kept his name card. You look at it carefully on both sides. It is just a simple card, with simple ‘Kim Taehyung’ written in gold in the center, with his email and phone number under it and ‘The Company’ on the other side of the card. It seems too sophisticated for a prostitute’s agency, well, not that you ever got it though. Or is he like an exclusive prostitute?

Should I just text him? You sit on your couch. You input his number on your phone and hit the message button. What should I send? You tap your phone on your chin. You have never texted a guy since college. It is lame actually. Whenever you got a guy’s number, you always ignore it. But now, you just got the feeling that you can ignore Taehyung.

You walk to your pantry, pouring a glass of wine, and bring the bottle to the couch. You begin to type.

To Taehyung: Hey...

You knit your eyebrows, what are you? A high schooler? You can do better than this. You delete and begin typing again. You gulp the wine in one shot and pour another glass.

To Taehyung: Dear, Kim Taehyung. I was happy to receive your number and I hope to see you again.

Are you his business partner? Damn, woman. Just type casually. You drink your wine again. Typing and deleting, and drinking. For several hours. Until you fell asleep on the couch with the phone on your hand.

And just like the safety slogan on the road, ‘Don’t Drink and Drive’. You need a new one.

‘Don’t drink and type’

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plxviophile · 3 years

Text

Things I would have done differently if I was a writer for TTS (spoilers)

1. A bit more Varian in s1. His villain arc was awesome, but we should have grown even more attached to him and his dad so that the conflict would have felt a bit more intense

2. Either more Willow or cut her completely. The Queen’s sister literally appears for 1 episode and then never again. It’s just a bit weird. And they never even bring her up. I wish we got a prequel episode about their upbringing.

3. Explored the dynamic a bit more between Rapunzel and her father. I understand why he was so overprotective, but I don’t like that he just “chose to forget” about the rocks. That’s not a good king.

4. Give Lance more backstory and character. He shouldn’t have just been purely for comedic relief. (although 10,000x points for him adopting the girls. i love it)

now here’s where things get interesting

5. I would have written that Cassandra was the princess of the Dark Kingdom instead of Eugene. Literally what was the point in making him the prince of another kingdom if he’s never going to rule there, he’s marrying Rapunzel. Unless they someday combine the two kingdoms, but it would have made so much more sense to have Cassandra be given up by Edmund. And maybe have him further manipulate her into blaming Rapunzel for “stealing her destiny” rather than this “I am Gothel’s daughter” crap. That just felt lazy.

6. Speaking of Gothel. I wish they explored Rapunzel’s PTSD more. We got some glimpses with some nightmares, and her feelings toward The Tower, but I would have gone further. Like if we saw Rapunzel struggling to open up to her parents at first for fear of being told the same things Gothel had said. Something like that. I don’t like that they tied Cassandra to Gothel as a way to bring her back, when they just didn’t have to.

7. MORE. ADIRA. God she ruled. I wanted to know more about her.

8. I hate that it took the entire season for Cassandra and Rapunzel to make up. It makes it hard for me to ship them because (and here’s a rant): it’s obvious she is a lesbian coded character who has feelings for another woman who doesn’t happen to reciprocate those feelings in return. Why do so many characters who fit that trope have to be toxic? I’m serious. So many wlw ships are just riddled with manipulation and really off putting behavior. Max and Chloe from LiS. Rue and Jules from Euphoria. WHERE ARE SOME WHOLESOME GIRLS IN LOVE HUH? (I guess Marceline and Bubblegum but anyway sshshshsh). If they wanted to make Cassandra an antagonist, fine. But tbh she exhibited some crude behavior prior. Like insisting that Rapunzel keep secrets from Eugene. She’s put Rapunzel down a lot in the past. And yes they acknowledge that it’s because she had trouble communicating, but then she never really learned how to. She never opened up until the FINALE. What kind of development is that? AND ALSO….not everyone should have forgiven her. Or at least forgiven her so easily. It’s totally okay to teach children that “You can forgive someone, but that doesn’t mean you let them back into your life. Nor do you have to forget what they’ve done. As long as it doesn’t weigh you down.” I wish Rapunzel would have said: Cassandra, I will always care for you. But you nearly destroyed my kingdom and hurt my family. And for that it will take me time to forgive.” then Cassandra’s ending of her finding her own destiny would have felt more natural. Like let her go find herself. Let her grow and heal. And then maybe when she’s ready she will be back.

9. Honestly they should have kept Eugene an orphan. (i.e. if Edmund was Cassandra’s father instead of Eugene’s). I would have loved to see Eugene grapple with those feelings. Maybe jealousy that Cass found a parent. Maybe he opens up to Rapunzel that he’s so happy for her, and she deserves the world. But when he looks at her and her parents, he wishes he had that. Only for her to say, “You do have a family. With us.” I think there is a positive message in that family isn’t blood relatives, it’s who’s there for you. And the King and Queen forgave Eugene for his crimes, fed him, and gave him a home. They are his family

10. I don’t know. I really do like this show a lot. I love that we got to explore this lore a lot more. But it is kind of weird knowing it’s a prequel that wasn’t necessarily planned because had it were, we would have seen Lance at the wedding. Varian too. Know what I mean? But still. It’s Disney. Ya gotta keep expectations low. At the very least we know Cass is lesbian coded, that’s about as far as they’ll go for now. Still a great show with great music and SO MUCH NEW DREAM. We are blessed. But we could always use more

((manifesting Mandy and Zachary to reunite and return someday))

#disney #tangled #tangled the series #tts #rta #rapunzel’s tangled adventure #eugene fitzherbert #lance strongbow #tts cassandra

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mooncruiser · 3 years

Photo

Heyy!! I’ve been meaning to pin my testimony, so here it is :)

So, my life wasn’t really the greatest growing up. I mention C-PTSD in my bio, and that’s what I’ll get into a bit. I’ll try not to be too graphic, but I can’t guarantee it’ll be totally safe.

There were some questionable things in my toddler years, a neglectful daycare center for 3 months, my dad being in and out of my life due to fear of getting attached at first, him flying off the handle once with me (my mom got on him for it, so it never happened again) but I think the trauma started with my cousins leaving me stuck out in a baby swing twice, a near death experience with a dog bite, and a homicidal attempt on me and my mom by my sister, who was 16 at the time (I’m 5 years old).

There was also the dog cage incident I believe at…6 years old? Me and my brother were playing and he forgot me on accident. I pretty much accepted at this point that life was gonna chain me up and try to kill me lol, but it let up for a good while, and I had a pretty decent childhood. At 9 years old, there was the torturously loud school program in the gym I had to sit through for 2 hours, I think.

It was at 10 when things became chronically ongoing. Domestic violence at home from my sister (physical, emotional abuse on me and my family), more physical and emotional abuse at school from my assistant teacher because I was on an IEP for my autism. At 11, I was sexually abused by my female friend who was 12, and her female cousin, who was 13. I was abandoned by my cousins and aunt, and I was being placed in a seclusion room at school during standardized tests (which was sensory deprived solitary confinement) even after I was finished for the day. At 12 years old, I started being emotionally neglected by my mother.

I mean, I was so angry and depressed and secretly suicidal at 10, but by 12 I was severely dissociating (I had been dissociating during trauma at various times prior). I had so much fear and anxiety that by the time I was 13 I’d be feeling like passing out 24/7, so I got on meds, which only helped the more severe physical symptoms, I guess.

At 13, I started being groomed by this high school girl that liked me. She was a Sophomore, and I was in 7th grade. She noticed the neglect and told me she knew me better. She would give me gifts, teach me to ship gay pairings, gave me a gay pedophilic manga. Shamelessly told me she had sexual relations with her male cousin and his friends who were around my age. I blocked it out.

I also had a very abusive friendship with a girl online who had BPD. My assistant teacher, who came with me to middle school, restrained and tortured me with the marching band’s loud music in the hallway, which only intensified my dissociative symptoms (I was actually switching alters at this point regularly and having no idea).

I remember at 13 being confused about my gender and sexuality. My mom was no help and just wanted me to hide it from my family and everyone else, for reputation purposes and she didn’t want me bullied. That was actually how I decided to get in contact with my grooming abuser, which I wonder at this point whether that was my fault. I didn’t expect her to really take over like she did, but I was essentially brainwashed into accepting whatever I was feeling for her benefit. I just wanted advice and a friend.

I was so lonely, I had been desperate for friends for years, and I was desperate for someone to love me in any way, honestly. I was overeating. I’d spend hours daydreaming, in video games or entertainment to escape from school and everything else. During meltdowns, I’d be doing self injurious behaviors.

So by 14, I come out as a lesbian. Had a couple relationships with girls who just saw me as a sexual object (I remember saying yes to sexual things even though I didn’t want to, just so that they wouldn’t abandon me. Dissociating off and finding it disgusting), would cheat on me with multiple people, ignore me for new friends, etc.

The BPD friend I dated, when I broke up with her, immediately attempted suicide so that scarred me more into our trauma bond. She’d show me self harm pics she took from time to time. It scared me into making sure I didn’t trigger her again, but u know I never knew what triggered her in the first place, so, like with everything else, I had no strategy to life. It was either fight, run, dissociate or nod yes to everything. She took up the latter lol.

I came out as trans my Freshman year, and stayed that way into my Sophomore year. I was bitter about dating because of the whole sexual object thing, and full of shame at the same time, thinking no one would want me. I thought I was asexual. I tried out a career high school honestly just to get away from the memories of my old school.

Some feelings about being trans started to fade, but not entirely, so I went by genderfluid/genderqueer from 17-19. I was excited to make new friends at my new school, but my anxiety kept me from it. I opened up very awkwardly about my dating history to one girl (which tbh I shouldn’t have, but I had been brainwashed so lol) and she told all the girls in my lab, and I was excluded and bullied (and cyberbullied) from thereon.

I didn’t know it at first, it was so subtle. But once I knew, I tried standing up for myself and told the principal, which made them leave me alone for the most part. They’d glare at me, use me at graduation, cyberbully me one last time 8 months after graduation, and that was it. I still had to deal with domestic violence until I was 22, but once I graduated everything pretty much hit me.

I knew I’d be too stressed out to go to college or work. School indoctrination tried to teach me to be neurotypical and expect this, but it wasn’t happening. I was too afraid to leave my house for a year, and too afraid to be honest online for fear of being watched and bullied, or stalked. I was seriously considering suicide down the line. I thought I had nothing left to live for. I was useless. Nobody cared. Friends moved on to their new lives and I was dying.

That’s when Jesus stepped in.

I guess I started being curious about God again for the first time since I was 12. I always believed in God, was grateful to Him for being there for me during the domestic violence and never blamed Him for it. I found out about worship music and was thrilled, and a question came up. Was being gay a sin? My grooming abuser taught me that God made me gay, so it was alright. But I wanted to know for sure this time from the Word.

To my surprise, she was wrong. The Bible said it was indeed, a sin (the practice, not so much the identity aspect). I couldn’t piece together why, so I struggled with it for months. On my 20th birthday however, when I got done creating fanart of a gay pairing, I felt strongly convicted by the Holy Spirit that it was wrong. So I went to God.

I said, “If it is wrong, please change me so I can make You happy, because I love You. In the meantime, I won’t do anything in support of it for a while. If it’s not wrong, don’t change me, and I’ll know which way is right because I trust You.” When I look back on it, it was a pretty crazy prayer. Lots of people have said they couldn’t “pray the gay away”, and I do wonder what the difference was with me.

After 3 months, I stopped to check if I still felt anything, and the feelings were gone. My gender dysphoria was gone, too. I was way too afraid to tell anybody yet, but I remember when I did, one of the first people I told was my grooming abuser.

She was livid, tried one last time to intimidate me. Another time we crossed paths (she came out of nowhere saying hi, said she worked at that market, complimented me and walked away smiling) and I was triggered, I messaged her and told her how she hurt me and I couldn’t bear to be around her anymore, but I hoped she’d have a good life. She didn’t respond online, but she complained to my sister that I thought she was a predator, and by the end of the conversation tries to get her to tell me she said hi. When she had kids, she was planning on raising them to be nonbinary. Her husband was abusive to them, so she ended up losing them. She never bugged me again.

I was blown away by how God had changed me. How He opened my eyes to the truth. I prayed for Him to open my eyes to whatever else I had been blind to, and He slowly began lifting off the amnesia surrounding all my traumas, urging me towards recovery with Him. I realized I might have OSDD-1b recently as well, which is strange that I could have possibly had DID prior to losing my amnesia?

I have been on this journey ever since, journaling, blogging, researching, and finally in a wonderful therapy called EMDR where I truly release the traumas from my body, hear God’s new positive beliefs to replace old negative ones from my childhood, and experience loving extraordinary visions while processing that teach me to focus on Jesus, trust Him more, love and pray for my enemies, and have a real satisfying relationship with Him that’s unattainable with anyone on Earth, along with daily Bible study.

The picture on the left was me at 16 in my old life, the one on the right is me in my new creation :) God bless all of you, thank you for reading this far 💕💖

#testimony #long post

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shadow--writer · 3 years

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Maeve and her sisters! They’re very close and loving, and will adopt you into the family ;3. lmfao tumblr butchering it yet again, and I got lazy with the background I did not want to spend any more on it, might redo it some time later im tired tho soooo XDDD

Aislin is on the left, Maeve in the middle and Rhiannon is the one on the right (she normally has armour on her shoulder but it would poke Maeve in the eye so I decided to remove it lol)!

Some fun facts about them! More under the cut, I really like coming up with family dynamics you don’t see enough loving ones so I’m gonna remedy that!

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⚝ Rhiannon is an ace lesbian! Depending on the storyline she’s either married or engaged to her significant other, Grace. Either way they have four kids. The oldest is Áine (who is 8), the youngest is Brianna (who is 2) and then there’s the twins Fergus (the older one by three minutes) and Farrell (they are 6). Two boys and two girls

⚝ Maeve is the wine aunt who spoils her nieces and nephews mercilessly. She loves all four of them to death, even if Farrell and Fergus are little shitheads who always get into trouble. A requirement for her when dating someone is if they are good with kids. They don’t have to like kids, they just have to be nice to kids. You can tell a lot about a person based on how they treat children and animals.

⚝ Aislin is pansexual, and their dad is bisexual (he is still friends with one of his ex’s who brings his husband around. Maeve and her sisters see them as part of the family which makes their dad chuckle because who would’ve thought)

⚝ Rhiannon is the oldest, Aislin is the youngest and Maeve is the middle child. Their mom died hunting a god when they were all pretty little, but Aislin was a baby so Rhiannon and Maeve took it upon themselves to look after her

⚝ As kids they regularly shared a bed, cuddling together.

⚝ Their mom was a very kind person, Aislin was too young to remember her but Maeve and Rhiannon both have super fond memories of her.

⚝ Rhiannon has three dogs, all Kerry Beagles. The dogs love Maeve and will tackle her with kisses. Aislin loves the dogs too and spoils them rotten

⚝ Rhiannon is 6′3, Maeve is 5′3, and Aislin is 5′0 (their dad is 6′8 (Tweaking his height a little lol) and their mom was 5′5. Maeve and Aislin get their heights from their grandmother on their mom’s side)

⚝ Rhiannon is the only huntress in the family, Maeve and Aislin both fall under the explorer part of their coming of age culture (I can elaborate another time)

⚝ Rhiannon taught Maeve how to use a battle axe. Rhiannon wields one herself, along with a spear and a longbow. Maeve and Aislin both prefer medicines but they have weapons of choice. Maeve with an axe or bow, Aislin with a sling and a javelin. Their culture is very fighting based so they can and will kick your ass

⚝ Maeve is actually really strong for her size. She can pick up Muriel, his feet with be dragging on the ground because she is short but she can lift him

⚝ They have a pretty big family, their dad (Caedmon) has two brothers and one sister. Their mom had an older brother who is the wine uncle. Their whole family is wild, there will be fires and lots of alcohol and laughter when they all get together (it’s CHAOS why their dad never tries to get them together

⚝ Yes they are the number one cause of fires if they all get together. One of their uncle’s (dad’s side) has an obsession with showing the kids how to light fires with flint. Maeve likes to watch it spread. Rhiannon lies to cover is, Aislin just thinks it’s pretty and Caedmon dies laughing when they get in trouble again

⚝ Aislin and Maeve always got into trouble as kids, Rhiannon was the only one getting them out of trouble but even then they got her into trouble with them. They were known as the chaos trio. Yes they were called that after the great fire incident of their family’s get together

⚝ Maeve and Caedmon are the only ones who can sing in their family. Aislin attempts to and Rhiannon has come to terms with the fact she has zero musical talent

⚝ Caedmon would sing his daughters to sleep every night (I have a headcanon he sang Queen of Argyll to Maeve every night, lol I heard the song and bam a new culture was born. There’s a really good Arcana animatic to the song too! Check it out if you have the chance!)

⚝ All of them like to dance. Rhiannon is a bit socially awkward, while Maeve and Aislin are the lives of the party. They drag their older sister onto the dance floor and everything melts away and they all fall over laughing at some point

⚝ They’re all very protective of one another so if you date one expect the other two to give you the good old: “hurt her and we rearrange your organs” talk. If you’re a good one they’ll love you almost immediately, letting you join in on the shenanigans

⚝ They’re all sensitive babies and will cry over a sad book or song. Rhiannon likes to think she eludes the badass energy (and she does) but she’s the softest out of all of them

⚝ Rhiannon hates the taste of alcohol, Maeve and Aislin like it. Maeve has the highest tolerance in her close family (jury is still out on whole family). Aislin loves fruity drinks and having fun but she uhh...is a lightweight

⚝ Maeve is the most blunt and brazen in the family. She isn’t afraid to tell people what she wants, who she doesn’t like, who she will fight etc. Rhiannon is more reserved and Aislin is the one cheering Maeve on.

⚝ Maeve is the most flirty with Aislin coming in as a close second. Rhiannon is ace, but she does enjoy cheesy flirting with her significant other Grace

⚝ Maeve is the only one in the family to have the silver streak in her hair. It’s considered a blessing from their Gods. It symbolizes protection, luck and safety. When their mom died her hair went pure silver, the symbol of a fallen warrior who the Gods blessed. Maeve has a good ongoing joke about how good her protection was since she like, died

⚝ All three of them are affectionate, but in their own ways. Maeve is very touchy, and very soft (she will give u all the kisses). Aislin is words of affirmation, Rhiannon is both.

⚝ Caedmon is so proud of his daughters, they like to write and visit him often, sometimes taking their significant others along for the ride. He enjoys meeting new people, especially the ones his daughters are dating

⚝ If you get married to a sister the rest of the family will welcome you in with open arms. If you aren’t like, a piece of crap or anything lol. Their family is very warm, kind and supportive, leading to how Maeve and her sisters are today.

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a-woman-apart · 4 years

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Separating the Boys from the Men

Yes, that title is click bait, and if you keep reading, you’ve been warned. I’ve got a lot to get off my chest, and it’s going to involve defending masculinity, femininity, and our right to BEHAVE LIKE CHILDREN FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES because in many ways, we already do.

Let’s get straight to the point. As Millennials, regardless of our age, financial status, or level of “success” (air quotes 100% intentional) we have been accused of being lazy, entitled, and way too enthusiastic about avocado toast. At the same time, we have been described as having enough power to decimate the napkin industry, the diamond industry, and the concept of traditional marriage. We have been accused of a collective “Peter Pan” syndrome, because we “refuse” to cut off papa’s apron strings and get off the proverbial mama’s teats.

Wonderful to know.

Let’s unpack the “lazy” bit. Supposedly, this is tied to the fact that we have access to higher education, we [often, not always] have parents who financially support or house us well into adulthood.

So now, my question is, Gen X (the entitled ones, ironically) and Salty Boomers, YOU DIDN’T?

What do you call that “inheritance” you received? What do you call that education your parents paid for that was less than 1/3 what we have to pay? For Boomers, how do you explain the lavish weddings, cheap [and apparently nuke proof] home appliances, and “nights out on the town” that you were able to afford by working at whatever passed for a McDonald’s back in the day? Working on a farm, at a grocery store, or in retail used to ACTUALLY provide a livable wage; for us, those are a “side hustle” and we still have to get a “big boy job” that usually requires an education that can put us over $100,000 in debt by age 30.

Hate to say it, but if you hadn’t made most of your income “during the War” or in the absolute economic boom that followed it, you wouldn’t survive 24 hours in our shoes before having an emotional collapse.

Despite the disastrous living conditions of the U.S. in the 21st Century, not much has changed in how men define their level of “manliness.”

Financial gains (stocks, bonds, portfolio, bank account)

Bro “gains” (a.k.a. “gym gains”, how “Gaston” they are, including whether they want to go for the Adonis, Apollo, or Brawny boi look, or just how far they can throw something or how “boyish” they look if strength isn’t an option and they suffer from femme-levels of body dysmorphia)

Body count (since we’re in a time of peace and not literally war, this is LITERALLY a modern term describing how many people you’ve slept with, and I have never heard an adult man, regardless of sexual orientation, who isn’t a little concerned about putting those notches in the bed post, and if not that, VERY concerned about his bedroom performance: it’s quality vs. quantity)

Kill death Ratio (I know this is a video game term now, but did you know that before video games, men in England used to regularly get on horseback, get a bunch of hounds together, and chase down tiny foxes and rabbits? FOR FUN?!?!? Did you know, that before modern sports ((including Esports)), men used to just fight to the death, regularly, even if an official war wasn’t going on? It was known as “dueling”, and in less socially developed societies, men still behave like this. So the next time you complain about “male rage” and how heartless it is to make live chickens fight, note that even though we’ve quelled male anger and hostility on some level, you will NEVER be able to take away man’s urge to destroy. Boys and men will always like knocking things over, building things from the rubble, and ruling shit. It’s what they do-- and we women can and do, too, but we have a LOT more risk-aversion and self-preservation, which is a blessing and a curse for our species-- but we just need to make sure humanity as a whole stays...chill)

So what, say ye, has changed about how WOMEN define themselves now vs. in the past. I would say that very little has changed, but the level of internalized misogyny, insecurity, and good-old fashioned denial has SKYROCKETED.

Let’s look at some terms of how the majority of women value themselves.

Financial Security (few women will admit to “wanting to be rich”, because that sounds kind of “Trump”, but plenty will talk about having minimum income requirements for their partner(s), wanting to retire at a young age so they can “travel the world”, wanting to eliminate their debts, etc. It’s different language but essentially it translates to: I want to work so hard or marry into so much wealth that I never want to worry about money after age 35. #Hustle)

Looks (it doesn’t matter if you want a Kardashian butt, you’re in the body positivity movement, or you just want to “dress like a bawse” women are just as obsessed with clothes, image, and body weight/shape/size as they ever were, it is just that now that we’ve “slain the patriarchy” we have more fashion options than ever before, because “boy clothes” are just as “in” as femme ones)

Ability to attract a partner (some women, like me, “chase”, but thanks to biology, most women, regardless of sexual orientation, seem to enjoy being pursued more than being Artemis-style hunters. This is evidenced by the fact that when the feminist owner of Bumble changed the rules of the dating website to where women had to start conversations with men rather than vice versa ((a move that had ostensibly zero effect on lesbian matching)) 72% of women that she later surveyed stated that they liked it better when men were approaching them rather than the other way around. I am sure Bumble’s female CEO was shook ((as was I)), especially because she made the change to empower women, and apparently 72% of women didn’t want the power because it meant they now had the power to face rejection, and it made them uncomfortable. Big yikes. So much for #EndPatriarchy and #ChivalryisDead ?)

Playing house (this is probably going to get me some unfollows, but I’ll take my chances. Women, regardless of sexual orientation, often seem to be REALLY into having babies or just “playing house.” There’s also men like this, too, “Family men” as they’re aptly called, men in love with fatherhood ((or just being called “daddy”, and that will never not be weird)). So many women who never want to pop out a baby describe being taken by an OVERWHELMING urge to fuck during their “fertile window” ((or is that just me?)) and seeing every baby alive as the cutest human being ever once we pass the tender age of 25. The biological clock is REAL, and I learned the hard way that being bisexual and having immense fear of pregnancy and childbirth didn’t spare me from the awful truth of my biology.

I really don’t want to keep making references to modern video games, but they seem to serve the dual purpose of being deeply satisfying and helping us to quell “problematic” urges, including that one to dominate and destroy the world. For a lot of women gamers, though, our choices ((on a broad scale, every #girlgamer is different)) deviate from men’s in some interesting ways.

#1: We still love The Sims Franchise way more than guys do

Not only do we love it, but while a lot of men (again, #notallmen) tend to build elaborate neighborhoods to extensively mod and destroy them in terrifying ways, I still see women gamers taking obscene amounts of time to design homes, raise happy little families, and cause TERRIFYING blood feuds by having Sims marry Sims from rival families ((I guess we’re more Shakespeare than we thought, eh ladies?))

#2: We make up most of mobile gaming

Most male gamers think mobile games “aren’t real” and I tend to agree, but a mobile game is invaluable for when I, a woman, have time to kill between the 3 jobs I hypothetically have and I and don’t want to whip out something like a Nintendo 2DS that is both unwieldly and attracts the eyes of every impoverished, thieving human being in a .5 mile radius. #RiskAversion. These games are often low-quality, mindless, and insanely easy, but that is WHY WE LIKE THEM. Our entire life is a job. #Hustle

#3 We also love farming sims and RPGs

While we-- and most male Millennials-- beg god to not have to birth calves, milk cows, or labor in the tomato fields under the hot sun, most of us have no objection to having our virtual avatars perform the same back-breaking tasks to the tune of cheerful chiptune music. Also, even though men definitely enjoy them, too, I have never met a woman gamer who didn’t enjoy a nice RPG; why do you think we’re such avid readers of fantasy/romance YA?

We want to be transported to a different world, and if you won’t take us there, we’re happy to go there virtually ((because we probably can’t afford travel; we’re still millennials)).

Ability to murder people who threaten our young or our partner(s) (Okay this one is a bit more complicated, but I’m just going to tell you a bit about female animals. DON’T MESS WITH THEIR BABIES IF YOU WANT TO LIVE. Human females, are, in that regard, just as savage, if not more so, than our male counterparts.

I’ve never heard of any woman ((outside of prison, maybe)) who killed another woman for “looking at her weird” or saying “your mama” too many times. I’ve heard plenty of women threaten literal murder because another woman ((or man, we’re #progressive)) came too close to her romantic/sexual partner, or another human being threatened harm on our kids or our “squad.”

I don’t know where the meme truly originated from, but “Don’t talk to me or my son ever again” is SUCH a Mom thing to say. So much misandry is wrapped up in the idea that men are predators, and that is true, but not in the excessively sexually deviant ways you think ((that’s only sometimes true)). They just like hunting things, including people, but if you give them a toy to play with ((I MEAN ACTUAL TOY OMG)) they seem alright. Let them go play with their cars, Xbox, [insert whatever] or something. They’re men, okay, they’re easily distracted/impressed/occupied.

Women, on the other hand, have seemed to be having an EXTREME amount of trouble curbing that baby-making urge, or the Excessive Nurturing Urge, that one that makes you ask your grown husband if he’s remembered to pack lunch for work or if he remembered to pack money for his playdate with his bros, because he’s gonna need money at Six Flags and you aren’t going to bring it to him because he should’ve remembered, you reminded him 30093390 times.

THAT’S NOT HIS FAULT. HE HAS MANAGED BY SOME MIRACLE TO STAY ALIVE FOR 33 YEARS. THAT’S YOU, SWEETIE. STOP BEING SUCH A MOM. GO BE A NURSE, DOCTOR, OR SOCIAL WORKER OR SOMETHING OMG.

In summary...

What separates the “men from the boys” or the “women from the girls” isn’t the era that we were born in to, our economic status, or whether we’ve been able to “conquer” our biology. That’s definitely not possible yet, chiefly because transhumanism involves a lengthy, ethics-guided process, and even if we all turn into cyborgs, the goal is to become BETTER humans, not LESS humane. Societal advancements have done more in terms of making us healthier, less destructive citizens of planet earth than raw technology ever can and ever will. Rapid technological advancement, when not combined with respect for morality, ethical standards of living for humans and all other life forms, almost always leads to human slavery, widespread abuse of animals, sex trafficking, and environmental destruction, because the “rules of supply and demand”, when not governed by strong international trade laws, dictate that consumers should be supplied with whatever they demand, because the suppliers can profit, and their right to profit should be defended at any cost.

So, in summary, I believe that “adulting” involves giving up on entitlement. What separates a truly childish human being-- regardless of their actual age-- from someone who is, in essence, “adulting” is experience, and how much those experiences serve to broaden that person’s perspective. It is an extremely childish, self-centered view, to think that you “deserve” anything for being “a good person” or, in the case of many a “woman child” or “man child” in media and in real life, just being “not so bad.”

Grown-ups are able and willing to do something that is known as “delaying gratification” which is the simple ability to delay a temporary pleasure for a long-term gain. Grown-ups are also able to perform true “cost-benefit analyses” to determine if a course of action, business deal, or even relationship is worth their time and effort. Finally, grown-ups are able and willing and able to make an informed choice and stick to it; in essence, we don’t try to “have our cake and eat it too” we understand that once we’ve eaten that cake, the cake is gone, but we also realize that if we are willing to work hard and make sacrifices, we can earn the ingredients to make ourselves another cake to eat, even if we might need a lot of help from other adults in getting those ingredients (we call this teamwork and cooperation).

Children, on the other hand (in literal and metaphorical terms), are very impatient. They get angry when things don’t go their way, and instead of taking the steps needed to improve their situation, they storm off and return home. It doesn’t matter if their home is with their parents, with their 3 roommates, or with their husband or wife, these people throw tantrums, refuse to communicate/cooperate, and stew in their displeasure until someone feels sorry for them and fixes their problem for them. They lack the ability to work through daily life problems and refuse to take any responsibility for how their actions or inaction contributed to their dilemma.

There is one difference with an actual human child or teen, though, is that they have an excuse. Their brains are still developing, and they haven’t had the chance to live through these situations yet; these are new challenges to them. Even if they do have a “bad attitude”, with help from peers and patients, principled adult mentors and teachers, these cantankerous kids can grow into well-adjusted, able adults. The high levels of neuroplasticity in their brains actually make it so that it is easier for them to accept large amounts of sensory data and to learn from processing and practicing using it.

An “adult child” is someone who, more often than not, has been coddled instead of challenged. These people have often faced no significant hardships in life. There is a reason why, even after we have recognized the immense downsides of authoritarian parenting and have demonstrated psychological harms of corporal punishment for kids, we still call “bad kids” and “irresponsible adults” spoiled.

Authoritarianism produces rigid, scared people who often struggle with critical thinking and self-esteem or end up being authoritarian parents themselves, but that last one is actually one of the less likely options. Children of authoritarian parents often develop Borderline Personality Disorder or become defiant against authority (shocker). Overly permissive or overly neglectful parenting, though, are parental styles most associated with producing narcissists, who often become authoritarian parents, because when their kids challenge them, they completely lack the patience or emotional capacity to deal with it and resort to “because I said so”, stonewalling and/or physical abuse as forms of “character-building.”

The reason why overly permissive parents spoil their kids is because kids actually do need discipline and guidance, and so these kinds of parents produce kids who are outwardly capable and confident but completely lack any of the life skills to justify it, and when they ask their parents for advice they are just met with a bunch of hippie mumbo jumbo or told to just avoid the conflict rather than resolve it. These kids grow into adults who are still sad little kids inside, because they never grew up, but now they’re sad little kids who are articulate and well-spoken and now can-- and often have no choice-- but to con their way through adult life because they’ve maxed out Charisma and they have almost no points in Strength, Intelligence, Wisdom, or Dexterity.

The only parenting style worse than Authoritarian and Neglectful/Permissive is Mixed, in which a child grows up in a COMPLETELY unpredictable environment where the rules of the game change from day to day, and parents either give their children no attention at all, or they practically lock them up and throw away the key. Being raised like this is associated with the worse outcomes for the child throughout life.

So, why am I now talking about parenting styles? Because, for all that we love to trash Boomers and large swaths of Gen X on this page, we can’t forget where they came from, so we cannot allow them to forget WHO THEY MADE. It isn’t an accident that even though we live in the times of incredible economic hardship, WE are the generation (and Gen Z, to some extent) that got hooked on reality TV, video games, and social media in incredibly unhealthy ways. A lot of us 30+ millennials are growing out of it, and a lot of us have realized that it is an invaluable (and damn near unavoidable) way of marketing our products and talents. We’re often self-employed because that’s our only option in most cases.

The issue with Gen Z (who, while we called “Zoomers” now just all themselves “Doomers” and I think we should be a bit concerned about that) is that unlike us, they have no memory of “Before the Internet.” We remember dial up, we remember before that when you played outside untl the sun went down. They don’t have the privilege of being linked to that history.

Now, we have to be the Bigger Person. It’s our time to be Grown-Ups. Gen Z feels really fucking lost right now, and hearing us whine about our parents probably makes them pretty pissed off, when some of us older millennials are the parents, aunts/uncles, and older siblings to Gen Z kids. Even if we can’t be mentors, we have to lead by example, because we have a responsibility to these kids. A lot of them aren’t stupid, they see exactly what’s happening and they feel incredibly hopeless about it. Greta Thunberg is still 16 years old. She shouldn’t be out there doing that; I mean seriously, climate change is accelerating, but it isn’t even as bad as Al Gore said, it’s still reversible, but the fact that SHE FELT SHE HAD TO makes us shitty people. ALL OF US.

So you know, we all need to stop being hypocrites. We need to stop being entitled. We need to stop thinking this is about us. It isn’t. Not even close. We’re not important, even if our videos go viral or if we’re swimming in cash next to hot models by a huge swimming pool. America’s fucked up. I hate to sound Republican, but it’s because of our values. We suck at valuing what’s important, and if we don’t change that soon, it’s really going to suck to live in America.

It already does.

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