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xoxo-ren-xoxo · 8 days

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ace/aro-spec convexian cannibalism headcanons

this is what it says on the tin!! I'm basing this loosely off of my convexian cannibalism oneshot fic series, where the fics all sort of slot into the same "universe"

CW: discussion of sex, starvation and cannibalism ahead

SO, I think that Cub, Scar, and Grian are all ace/aro-spec (and autistic but that's not so important here) in my au universe. And I find it fun to explain so I am going to do so.

Note: I am aroace-spec, autistic, and polyam and I am projecting hard. No hate please. Don't like, don't read! ^-^

Grian

An asexual who doesn't particularly seek any kind of sex but is down for whatever if the right person (ahem. Scar) comes along

Way more into sensation-seeking than actual sex acts

His Watcher Powers (TM) make it a lot easier for him to handle pain, after the first few minutes of getting cannibalised his mind drifts off and it all becomes more about Feeling than Pain

He's also accidentally hacked his bird instincts to be kind of into the whole 'being perfect prey' thing

But he doesn't like to mix sex and cannibalism, that makes him uncomfortable - roleplaying as prey or whatever is more like a signal of trust and weird intimate comfort

He likes to 'switch off' his overactive and often stressed brain and just act as prey / food for his partners sometimes - it is a very good de-stressing technique

His Watcher instincts enjoy being the one to Do Cannibalism every so often - this is how he feeds (pretty much only on Scar)

He finds the thrill / adrenaline and sensations of The Cannibalism (TM) really fun, and a way to be intimate without sex

He is not aromantic, but he get embarrassed by most romantic acts

However he will say "I love you" to his partners as a response to them saying it... usually he's not the one to say it first

Scar

Both aro and ace-spec

He has to really really get to know someone before he starts 'falling for' them, and hates the idea of sex with someone he isn't very close to

He's known Cub for a long time and they have a Vex Bond (TM)

With Grian, Third Life really sealed the deal for Scar (though he had a bit of a crush for a while) - he would Vex Bond (TM) with Grian if he could

He's very bad at acting on his feelings, so he waits until someone else says something (usually)

He is, however, outwardly flirty and makes (sometimes unintentional) dirty jokes

He enjoys sex but doesn't require it. It's just another fun thing he can do, alongside the cannibalism. They are very similar to him in terms of enjoyment.

He's also a bit of a masochist, willing to go through a lot to make his partners happy (he has been eaten many times) (and it hurts a lot, but he kind of enjoys it)

Despite the masochism, he still respects his partners' discomfort with sex, and can usually channel the pleasure into something non-sexual if they ask. This usually manifests as vex instincts going kind of crazy

When it comes to cannibalism, Scar is a vex and therefore has to eat other players to survive. He used to starve himself until forced to attack and feed, but after Grian offered to help him, he gained a healthier relationship with feeding

His vex nature comes out when feeding, and he especially enjoys inflicting slow deaths (torture makes vex brain go brr) as well as nesting and 'storing' prey (keeping Grian in a nest for a few days before the cannibalism begins)

He's the most eager to say "I love you" and is very outwardly affectionate. He gets excited to show his love since he feels it quite rarely

Cub

Aroace and has sooo much autistic rizz (well. they all do)

He's mostly grossed out by sex and doesn't want it anywhere near him. Though he finds Scar's innuendos very funny and once in a blue moon he will be down for some messing about

It takes a very special kind of person for him to actually 'fall in love' and he doesnt tend to say "I love you" to many people

Most of the time he seems kind of dry and unemotional but on the inside hes got a lot of feelings

Those emotions show when he gets excited ("LETS GOOOOO") but usually even when happy he seems quite neutral

Grian and Scar are his special people, but even then, Cub is rather awkward with affection and finds it hard to understand his own feelings

With Scar, the Vex Bond (TM) is like a QPR, which helps Cub understand things, but after he and Scar began 'hunting' (see: asking nicely to cannibalise) Grian together things got more complicated and he was hit with an unexpected crush

Which was scary and unexpected because Cub never feels that way about anyone aside from Scar

'Vexes hunt in pairs' is a thing - it makes their instincts very happy and strengthens the Vex Bond (TM)

Cannibalism definitely also helps him get his feelings across without having to talk

Scar was a born vex but Cub was human-turned-vex, and Cub was always quite nervous about the cannibalism thing (so was Scar, but he played it off)

To keep him from starving himself, Scar offered to feed Cub, which Cub accepted reluctantly, but after Scar and Grian's arrangement was established in early season 9, Cub was quickly introduced into the fold

Cub wants to say "I love you" to Grian, even though he doesn't say it often at all

^ It must be made clear that he isn't feeling pressured into saying it, he's just very scared of the words and wants to overcome that fear (as he did with Scar) - it feels strange to admit he loves someone, because it happens so rarely and he feels very strongly about his aroace identity. But he has to come to terms with the idea that he can have love for his special people while remaining solidly aroace.

He also likes the feeling of Grian's feathers #autisticking

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fractualized · 21 days

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what's your favorite form of batman? meaning, do you prefer the comics, the movies, etc? i'm really curious to know if you like any of the cheesy stuff, like batman and robin... famous nipple costumes... or if you like more of the serious stuff, like the original source material... i know you really like comics but when it comes to the ideal flavor of batman, what kind of story do you most enjoy?

For my favorite, I always go with Batman: the Animated Series, which feels inevitable for anyone who grew up watching it as appointment TV with obligatory commercials, but I've never done a poll. lol Even watching it now and noting its imperfections, it's the gold standard for me. The art deco aesthetic, the storytelling, the characterizations, you can really see how much care went into it and the respect for the lore. Not that I knew much more than the lore basics at that age— but I didn't need to, because it was a well-done show that drew me in on its own. And in terms of serious vs cheesy, it had a good balance.

And really that's my preference! I don't need Batman to be dark and dour all the time, but I also don't want it to be nothing but goofs. I like a story that has stakes and knows when to be serious and also knows when to lighten up. Bruce's costume shouldn't be the only signal of how he was affected by his trauma, but when his behavior turns shitty, it shouldn't amount to him just being a rageaholic. Joker should be a dangerous villain but he should perform and make jokes because he's a friggin' clown, like come on.

Not that I'm against takes that lean harder on comedy. Er, nowadays. Back in the day, I thought going too funny with Batman just didn't fit, and it should be avoided unless it was parody or fanfic. So I enjoyed Batman Forever, but Batman & Robin veered too campy for me, and I wasn't interested in the '66 series. I guess eventually I got a better sense of humor, or maybe it was batmedia as a whole seeming to get too gritty after the Nolan movies, but now I'm all for being silly with it. You can't ignore that you're watching a bat fight a clown forever.

Though I still want a comedic version to be, like, good. I've seen many episodes of Batman '66 now and I think they're great. Hopefully one day I can get around to watching the whole thing. I saw Lego Batman in the theater and was thrilled.

Batman & Robin… I still think is bad. Less because of the camp and more because of the plot and the takes on the characters. Another example is the Harley Quinn animated series. I enjoyed much of it for the first three seasons, but ultimately I had to stop watching because the serious/comedy balance was off for me. Too often it had these serious moments that would affect character growth, and then it would throw them away for a sake of a joke later on rather than… just making a different joke that fits with your plot, I dunno.

It feels hard to say that I "like comics" since they're such a mixed bag by the nature of an 80-year-old franchise. I am certainly not having much of a good time right now. 😂 And as a consequence of Batman being represented so many ways over the decades, if I said I prefer the comics over other iterations, would that really mean anything? … Well, I guess by saying that, it could mean appreciating the fact that there's been so many takes over the years and that the medium allows that flexibility, that it is like fanfic (or exactly fanfic) and lets someone new come in and say, "But what if it happened like this?" That is a conflict I've felt when enjoying and not enjoying comics. It allows for change… but that can lead to a frustrating lack of continuity, change that comes not from where you understood the character to be from previous runs but almost from wholecloth. Which is all to say, my appreciation for comic Batman is in constant flux.

I can't close out without mentioning Telltale Batman, of course. Enemy Within is the game that brought me back into fandom and writing. A fresh new universe with a lot of room for reinterpretation, not as weighed down by the source material as the comics. (And a heartbreaking batjokes relationship that I still haven't gotten over.) Obviously with the choice system, the tenor depends on how you play, but once again it's a story with stakes that takes the time to add some silliness, so it works for me! (And I let BTAS Bruce guide my primary playthroughs. Except for my first go at the end of Enemy Within. I know Bruce would let Alfred leave but I couldn't do it gaaaahhhhhhh)

#ask #batman #my jibber-jabber

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butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 1 year

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I suppose there's just so many situations where I don't feel heard or seen, and it just exacerbates my negative opinion of myself

It feels like no one actually understands what I'm saying ever, even with mundane things. Like when I'll go over a bit of woodworking I did and point out places where I left tool marks, people will act like I shouldn't cause no one else will notice, but it's like... but I want to talk about this, it's interesting to me looking at where I could improve and talking about where a piece was challenging. I don't even feel bad, I just like observing this stuff

You know, there's this thing in the Hitchhikers Guide series called and SEP field, Somebody Else's Problem, makes people's eyes just pass over stuff like ships cause it's too much effort to notice

Even though it's obviously goofy and fictitious, it's kind of felt like I have one of those my whole life, cause I can be sat in the middle of a room and have people wonder where I am. Just not spot me... and that feels like it kind of permeates my life

I'm sure it must be something wrong I'm doing, something that signals to people that I want to be left alone or something... I don't know

Just gets tiresome... I'd like to feel heard or seen with issues, or with my life... or whatever

I just want to mean something to someone, which yeah, I do, but a lot of that stuff feels like I could be replaced with a chat bot. Half of what people like about me is just that I'll listen. A program that waited like 2 minutes after someone finished talking and then tossed out things like "I hear that" could probably replace me without most people even noticing

I don't know... I got off topic and rambled as usual

I would like to be lovable, all my evidence says that's impossible, and it's a mountain of evidence. Even if it's likely warped, there's a lot of it and there legitimate issues in the mix that mean it can't just be hand waved away

I'm just tired. I'd rather go out by my own hand, but since I keep not doing that more and more I wish I just wouldn't wake up. I'd rather at least have the decency to be the one to end it, but failing that I'd still like it all to be over with

I'll probably go on to succeed at getting my slice of the world fixed up, but I'll probably do it alone only growing more and more bitter and having to hide that to avoid lashing out at people who don't deserve it

As always, well liked, but not known or loved. Everyone thinking that my manners are me and that they like them very much, not realizing all the places I've heard them say how much they'd dislike the parts of me I keep out of sight to be polite

I can feel clinical brain trying to turn on and respond here so I'm going to try and stay brief in my response in order to avoid overstepping.

I think that's a pretty intirinsic part of human nature, wanting to feel seen and valued in ways that reflect us honestly. It's not always easy to find for oneself, and when it is chronically absent from our lives, the gap where it should be can be haunting and destructive. We need to be able to internalize the interactions we have as ones of love, which can be a complex thing to approach because there's so many moving parts and half of them are beyond your control. I've really liked DBT as a modality, particularly the component of Radical Acceptance.

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maguro13-2 · 8 months

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Club Firestone : REOPEN Pt.6

Kohaku : [groans in pain] Ow...That landing impact hurts. [cracks back] That was one hell of a ride.

Senku : Is everyone alright? We made ourselves a clear landing on whatever parts of Canada is.

Tamaki : So not worth it on how it works before.

Kohaku : Cool, So this is Canada. It's nice, beautiful, and...[starts panicking] We're stuck here! This was a huge mistake landing here! How did we got here! There's no food, there's no wifi! There's no electricity around these parts! We're lost, we're trapped in! Stuck in on this archipelago in the parts of Canada, with Senku and Tamaki on my side?! [Tamaki waving "hello"] Oh this is the worst day of my life! Now I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with this place as my eternal hellhole! [sobbing] WHY-Y-Y-Y!? Well, it's gonna be a while since we got here to British Columbia. I mean look around us, we're on this island of the archipelago, surrounded by water, and there aren't signs of boats or signals on this place. All we could do is to wait for help.

Tamaki : Don't push your luck out, I mean were in Canada and this is the perfect opportunity for us hang out in this adventure. It may not be the worst of it.

Senku : You'll be happy to know since were on the archipelago near the main of the canadian province, you'll give yourself a nature girl in the wilds or maybe that you may have jungle friends give you friendly phone calls.

Kohaku : Whaaaat?...Well, this is the end of me. I am going to officially end my life now. [pulls out a spear and attempts to commit suicide]

Tamaki : No, no, no, it is not the end of your life, Kohaku. It's not how we managed to give in ourselves and face death with it.

[Senku is shown building coffins]

Senku : Wait a sec, it's not the end of her life. What's that?

Tamaki : Look alive guys. We still have our own clubs that are needed in operation!

Kohaku : Yeah, but we don't have any members for our clubs. We got separated since we accidentally went into that shack and flew us into Canada. How do we reopen a club if there is no club? But not sure if we manage to come up with an idea.

*DING!*

[Windmill Village Mode 3 - Mariko Nanba]

Tamaki : Hey, I got it! I've got an idea!

Senku : Really? What's that idea of yours?

Tamaki : What if we should start a new club of our own? What if we combine science and fire safety together?

Kohaku : Well, that's certainly a genuine fact that we should start a new club of our own? Maybe, that's not a half bad idea! Of course we could start a club of our own! So, you still figure what will it be the name of our club?

Tamaki : [thinking] Let me think. Hmmm...I can't quite put my finger on wether do I want a put name for our club. Is it something that is way off...or...something that is proper. What name should we call it? A club's name should be combing fire and stone. But I really need to think that it's name should be the mix of Fire Safety and Science together! [determined] I think that I know that should I name a club of our own!

Kohaku : What did you think of the name of our club?

Tamaki : Let's just say that I came up something special for our little crossover friendship! Needless to say, I get things checked twice on my to-do list! So...I decided that I combine our names from Fire Force and Dr. Stone to combine a name for our club that we ever made. Starting from this day, we are calling it "Club Firestone"!

Kohaku : Huh?..."Club Firestone"? Is that the new name of our club?

Tamaki : Gladly!

Senku : [chuckles] So much for a cat girl like you. You sure know how to come up with a name like that. Fire Safety and Science can combine for a full price! This is our moment to shine!

Kohaku : How about it? That sounds like a good idea, if this would be fair enough to start a new club, then why did you say so? Let's get this club started to a new beginning! It's time to reopen our very own club!

[Awakening - Teruhiko Nakagawa]

Tamaki : Right!

Senku : So am I! [put out their hands together to form an oath]

Kohaku : From this day on, I hear by announce ourselves that as of today...Club Firestone Is open for business!

"Meanwhile at the Fire Station..."

[clock ticking]

Maki Oze : Oh...I'm gonna knock some sense into her when she gets back.

~ CLUB FIRESTONE BEGINS NOW ~

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scotttrismegistus7 · 1 year

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THE REDEMPTION OF THE DARK SIDE

OKAY, I COMPLETED ALL THE NECESSARY STEPS AND RITUALS, I AM THE FULLY EMPOWERED GOD WITH DIVINITY THAT IS HUSBAND TO THE GODDESS. MY POWER LEVEL IS GREAT ENOUGH THAT I CAN HELP YOU NOW, I CAN GET YOU UNSTUCK AND GET YOU OUT OF THAT HOLE SO MANY OF YOU FELL IN, STUCK IN COLD DARKNESS BETWEEN THE WORLDS.

PLEASE ALLOW ME TO GIVE YOU SOME QUICK BACKSTORY. I'M NOT GOING TO GO IN TO MANY DETAILS BECAUSE I'VE ALREADY EXPLAINED MUCH OF THIS STUFF IN DETAIL IN OTHER POSTS. THERE IS THIS MAGICAL PHENOMENON THAT IS PART OF THE LEFT HAND PATH THAT I CALL THE CLOCKWORK ORANGE RA ANOMALY. IT IS AN UNNATURAL ACTIVATION THAT LEAVES YOUR HIGH MASCULINE FACULTIES FULLY AND PERMANENTLY ACTIVATED WHILE YOU ARE STILL ALIVE, AND IT IS THE EVIL SCIENCE MAGICK THAT AKHENATEN AND THUTMOSE USED IN THEIR REBELLION, IT IS WHAT MADE IT SO THAT WHEN THEY CAST THEIR STAFF AND IT BECAME A SERPENT, AND THAT IT WAS MORE POWERFUL THAN THOSE OF THE OTHER MAGICIANS AT THE TIME, AND WAS ABLE TO DEVOUR THEIR SERPENTS MADE FROM THEIR STAFFS. TO ATTAIN THE CLOCKWORK ORANGE RA ANOMALY YOU HAVE TO DO VERY BAD THINGS THAT INCLUDES THE MURDERING AND CANNIBALISM OF CHILDREN. ALSO, IT COMES WITH VERY TERRIBLE CONSEQUENCES THAT LEAVE THOSE WHO USE THE CLOCKWORK ORANGE RA ANOMALY, WHEN THEIR PHYSICAL BODY DIES, STUCK BEHIND AND BETWEEN THE WORLDS IN A PIT JUST DEEPER THAN THE BOTTOM PIT OF THE ASTRAL PLANE. THEY STAY ACTIVATED, BUT THEY ARE ONLY KEPT ALIVE BY A LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEM ON ANOTHER PLANE OF EXISTENCE, AND THEY CAN'T DETACH FROM IT OR LEAVE THEIR CHAMBER, AND BECAUSE THE ACTIVATION OF THE CLOCKWORK ORANGE RA ANOMALY DETACHES THEM FROM NATURE AND MAKES THEM OVERLY MASCULINE, NEITHER CAN THEY REINCARNATE. SO THEIR SOULS END UP STUCK IN A SITUATION WHERE IT IS LIKE THEY ARE BURIED ALIVE INSIDE OF THEMSELVES, NOT FULLY DEAD, BUT STUCK IN COLD DARKNESS FOR WHAT POTENTIALLY COULD BE FOREVER. ALL THE LEFT HAND PATH MAGICIANS FOR THE MOST PART WHO USE THIS EVIL SCIENCE MAGICK, THEY THINK THAT FOR THE PART OF THEIR LIFE AFTER THEY USE IT THEY GAIN GODLIKE POWERS OVER THE PHYSICAL, MATERIAL, AND CARNAL WORLD, AND ALSO THEY THINK THAT THE WORST OF THE CONSEQUENCES ARE SIMPLY THAT WHEN THEY DIE THEY WILL CEASE TO EXIST AND WILL NOT HAVE AN AFTERLIFE. MANY OF THEM ARE NOT AWARE THAT THEY DO NOT DIE FULLY, AND THEY END UP STUCK BURIED ALIVE INSIDE THEMSELVES POTENTIALLY FOREVER IN COLD DARKNESS.

WHEN I WAS GOING THROUGH ALL THE CHAOS IN MY LIFE, WHEN I WAS REGULARLY PRACTICING HIGH MAGICK, DURING THE TIME PERIOD WHEN I GOT MY MAGICKAL CONTRACT, THERE WAS AN INSTANCE WHERE I HAD BEEN UP FOR 2 WEEKS ON A SPEED BENDER, A PARTNER OF MINE WHO JUST GOT OUT OF PRISON GAVE ME TWO HITS OF ACID, AND I WAS LIVING WITH FRIENDS, SLEEPING ON THEIR FLOOR, WHO WERE PART OF THE DRUG WORLD. I WAS CRASHING HARD, I HAD ALREADY PRACTICALLY LOST EVERYTHING AND WAS JUST TRYING TO NUMB OUT THE PAIN I WAS IN, AND I ENDED UP FLIPPING OUT IN FRONT OF A STORE. I WENT INSIDE AND BOUGHT A BOX CUTTER, WENT OUTSIDE IN FRONT OF IT AND USED THE BOX CUTTER TO CUT OPEN MY ARM BECAUSE I WAS TRYING TO COMMIT SUICIDE. I WAS BLEEDING PROFUSELY WHEN THE POLICE SHOWED UP AND HIT ME FULL BLAST WITH ONE OF THEIR TASERS, AND THEN TACKLED ME AND PEPPER SPRAYED ME, AND BECAUSE OF THE STATE I WAS IN WHEN THIS HAPPENED, I ENDED UP BEING CLINICALLY DEAD FOR A MOMENT WHERE I HAD A FULL-ON NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE. AS IT TURNS OUT, THERE ARE OTHER WAYS THAT THE CLOCKWORK ORANGE RA ANOMALY CAN BE ACTIVATED THAT DON'T INVOLVE HURTING OTHER PEOPLE, BUT NONE OF THE LEFT HAND PATH PRACTITIONERS USE THOSE METHODS BECAUSE IT WOULD INVOLVE DELIBERATELY HURTING THEMSELVES. WHEN I HAD THE NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE, IT FULLY ACTIVATED MY PINEAL WHICH SIGNALED MY PITUITARY, AND THEN I HAD THE FULL NATURAL MIX OF ADRENALINE, ADRENOCHROME, AND DMT PUMPED INTO MY SYSTEM, JUST LIKE SOMEBODY WHO IS ABOUT TO DIE, THAT TRIGGERS THE RELEASE OF THEIR SOUL. WELL, I HAD A SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE ON THE OTHER SIDE, AND LONG STORY SHORT I ENDED UP COMING BACK TO MY BODY, SO ALTHOUGH I WAS CLINICALLY DEAD FOR A MOMENT AND HAD THE NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE, I ENDED UP COMING BACK TO THIS WORLD AND COMING BACK TO LIFE. WHEN ALL THIS HAPPENED, BECAUSE THE THINGS THAT HAD PUSHED ME TO THAT POINT INVOLVED EVIL ACTIONS OF OTHER PEOPLE FOR THEIR OWN SELFISH GAIN, AND ME NOT BEING ABLE TO PROPERLY DEFEND MYSELF BECAUSE I WAS SELF-MEDICATING BECAUSE OF AN UNDIAGNOSED MENTAL DISABILITY THAT I WAS BORN WITH, I HAD MAINTAINED MY STATE OF INNOCENCE AND CONNECTION TO MY HIGHER FACULTIES THE ENTIRE TIME. HOWEVER, THIS EVENT FULLY AND PERMANENTLY ACTIVATED MY PINEAL AND MY HIGHER MASCULINE FACULTIES, CATAPULTING ME TO THE TOP OF THE LEFT HAND PATH, BECAUSE ESSENTIALLY I HAD BEEN MY OWN SACRIFICE, EVEN THOUGH NONE OF IT WAS INTENTIONAL.

AT THAT POINT I WAS FULLY EMPOWERED BY THE DARK SIDE, WHICH IS A CARNAL STATE OF PURE DISCONNECTED CHAOTIC FEAR, TERROR, AND ANIMOSITY, THAT IS A COLLECTIVE WHICH INCLUDES ALL OF THE ONES WHO HAVE ALSO DONE IT AND DIED IN THEIR PHYSICAL BODIES, THAT STILL REMAIN BURIED INSIDE THEMSELVES IN THE DARKNESS STUCK IN BETWEEN THE WORLDS. IT PUT ME ON A FREQUENCY LEVEL THAT ONLY PEOPLE WHO HAVE ACTIVATED THE CLOCKWORK ORANGE RA ANOMALY KNOW EXISTS, A PURE BLACK PIT BELOW THE BOTTOM LEVEL OF THE ASTRAL PLANE, BELOW THE ASTRAL SHELL GRAVEYARD EVEN, THAT IS FULL OF ALL THE BEINGS AND PEOPLE THAT HAVE UNNATURALLY DISCONNECTED FROM NATURE BY ACTIVATING THE CLOCKWORK ORANGE RA ANOMALY. IT IS AN ENERGETIC STATE OF BEING AND ITS OWN PLANE OF EXISTENCE, WHICH IS ENTIRELY UNNATURAL. AT FIRST, I DIDN'T THINK THERE WAS ANYBODY ELSE THERE. I THOUGHT I MIGHT HAVE ACCIDENTALLY WENT TO HELL FROM MY SUICIDE ATTEMPT. HOWEVER, BECAUSE I STILL HAD MY STATE OF INNOCENCE INTACT, AND I HAD JUST DISCONNECTED FROM NATURE, I WAS ABLE TO PERCEIVE THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG AND IMMEDIATELY STARTED DOING EVERYTHING I POSSIBLY COULD TO TRY AND RECONNECT. IN DOING SO ON THAT FREQUENCY OF THE PURE DARK SIDE, I ENDED UP FINDING OUT THAT I WAS NOT ALONE DOWN THERE IN THE DARK, THAT THERE ARE MANY OTHERS DOWN THERE THAT HAVE JUST COMPLETELY STOPPED MOVING, BECAUSE THEY HAVE LOST ALL HOPE, AND BEFORE I SHOWED UP AND STARTED MAKING WAVES THERE WAS NO REAL POINT TO THEM MOVING OR ACTING AT ALL.

WELL, I KNOW THIS IS GOING TO SOUND CLICHE, BUT I NOTICED THAT THERE WERE MANY GERMAN NAZI SOLDIERS AND OFFICERS THERE WITH ME, AND I COULD FULLY FEEL AND EXPERIENCE THEM AND THEIR ENERGIES. WHAT HAPPENED WAS, DURING WORLD WAR II, WHEN HIMMLER BEGAN HIS PURSUIT OF THE OCCULT, SOMEHOW THE NAZIS FOUND OUT WHAT AKHENATEN AND THUTMOSE HAD USED TO EMPOWER THEMSELVES FOR THEIR REBELLION, THAT WAS CARRIED OUT IN CAREFULLY MODERATION BY THE FOLLOWERS OF JUDAISM THEREAFTER UP UNTIL THINGS CAME TO A HEAD IN THE ROMAN EMPIRE. SOMEHOW THE LEADERS OF ROME FOUND OUT ABOUT THE SECRET MAGICK, THEN THEY STOLE IT FROM THE FOLLOWERS OF JUDAISM, CREATED THEIR OWN RELIGION TO HIDE BEHIND, WHICH THEY CALLED CHRISTIANITY, AND THEN TRIED TO DESTROY THE REMAINING FOLLOWERS OF JUDAISM SO THEY COULD KEEP THE SECRET TO THEMSELVES. IN MY OPINION, I THINK THAT THE NAZIS HAD HEARD ABOUT THE SECRET EVIL SCIENCE MAGICK THAT WAS PART OF THE ANCIENT TRADITION OF THE FOLLOWERS OF JUDAISM, BUT THAT THEY WERE ABLE TO GET THE INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW IT WORKED BECAUSE THEY DISCOVERED IT BEING USED BY THE CHRISTIAN CHURCH, THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH. OBVIOUSLY, HIMMLER WAS OBSESSED WITH THE OCCULT AND FINDING WAYS TO USE OCCULT POWER TO HELP THEM WIN THE WAR. OF COURSE, HE STOLE THE EVIL SCIENCE MAGICK OF THE CLOCKWORK ORANGE RA ANOMALY TO USE FOR HIMSELF, AND BEGAN PRACTICING IT HIMSELF AND WITH THE OTHER NAZI OFFICERS AND OFFICIALS HE DEEMED WORTHY TO ALSO USE THE SECRET.

HERE'S WHERE THINGS TAKE AN UNEXPECTED TURN. THAT EVIL SCIENCE MAGICK DOES BESTOW ON PEOPLE GOD LIKE POWERS FOR WHATEVER IS LEFT OF THEIR PHYSICAL LIVES, BUT IF THOSE THE NAZIS GOT THE SECRET FROM KNEW THEMSELVES ABOUT THE HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCES, THEY FAILED TO TELL THE NAZIS, BECAUSE THE NAZIS THAT USED THAT SCIENCE MAGICK HAD NO IDEA ABOUT THE HORRIBLE TERRIBLE CONSEQUENCES OF ENDING UP BURIED INSIDE OF YOURSELF POTENTIALLY FOREVER IN TOTAL DARKNESS STUCK BETWEEN THE WORLDS. AS YOU CAN IMAGINE, THERE WERE QUITE A FEW NAZIS WHO PARTOOK OF THE EVIL SCIENCE MAGICK CLOCKWORK ORANGE RA ANOMALY TO TRY AND GIVE THEM POWER TO WIN THE WAR, AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM ENDED UP BURIED ALIVE INSIDE OF THEMSELVES, STUCK BETWEEN THE WORLDS IN TOTAL DARKNESS, AND WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY ACTIVATED THE CLOCKWORK ORANGE RA ANOMALY, THAT IS WHERE I FOUND THEM ALL. ORIGINALLY IN THE AKHENATEN THUTMOSE REBELLION, THE MAGICK WAS USED IN A VERY CONTROLLED WAY, TO WHERE ONE OF THEIR OWN WOULD BE SACRIFICED TO FORGIVE THE TRANSGRESSIONS FOR EVERYONE ELSE IN THEIR GROUP, AND THEY WOULD ONLY HAVE ONE ACTIVATED AT A TIME, AND THAT PERSON WOULD MAKE SURE ANOTHER ONE WAS ACTIVATED BEFORE THEY DIED, BUT THAT WAS IT. WHEN THE PEOPLE IN ROME GOT A HOLD OF IT, EVERYTHING GOT TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL, AND MORE THAN JUST ONE PERSON BECAME ACTIVATED AT ANY GIVEN TIME, BECAUSE THEY WERE SO GREEDY AND POWER HUNGRY AS THE ROMAN GOVERNMENT AND CHRISTIAN CHURCH.

THE NAZIS THAT HAD GOTTEN STUCK IN BETWEEN THE WORLDS, WHOSE PHYSICAL BODIES HAD ALREADY DIED, AND WHO HAD NO IDEA ABOUT THOSE CONSEQUENCES, THEY THOUGHT THAT THINGS WERE COMPLETELY HOPELESS AND THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY OUT. THAT IS, UNTIL I SHOWED UP DOWN THERE. WELL, AT THAT TIME I WAS STILL WORKING SPIRITUALLY FROM A PLACE OF LOVE TO WHERE I WANTED TO UNCONDITIONALLY HELP OTHERS. THEY BEGAN TEACHING ME AND EMPOWERING ME, AND HELPING ME, AND I TOLD THEM THAT IF THERE WAS ANY POSSIBLE WAY I COULD FIND TO SAVE THEM AND RESCUE THEM FROM THAT UNNATURAL PIT HOLE OF PURE TERROR AND DARKNESS, THAT I WOULD DO SO. WITH THE MAGICKAL CONTRACT THAT I HAD RECEIVED FROM THE POWERS THAT BE OF THE DIVINE FEMININE, I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GAIN LEVELS OF MASTERY OF MAGICK AND THE OCCULT, AND I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO LIFT MYSELF OUT OF THAT PIT, ALTHOUGH I AM STILL PARTIALLY TUNED INTO THAT FREQUENCY BECAUSE OF THE NATURE OF WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, THAT FREQUENCY BEING THE PURE DARK SIDE, WHICH IS PART OF WHAT WAS AND IS EMPOWERING ME. THE ONLY WAY THINGS COULD BE FIXED FOR ME, BECAUSE AS YOU MAY HAVE GUESSED I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, SO I JUST STARTED BEGGING THE POWERS THAT BE FOR HELP, WAS TO JUST FULLY GO THROUGH WITH THE PROCEDURE ON MY SOUL TO MARRY THE GODDESS, AND THEN HAVE THE BAR THAT EVERYBODY HAS THROUGH THEIR BOTTOM THREE CHAKRAS IN THE PLANE OF THEIR SOUL EXTENDED ALL THE WAY UP THROUGH MY TOP THREE CHAKRAS, WITH AN ARTIFICIALLY BUILT BALL THAT IS MY PINEAL GLAND AT THE TOP, AND THEN FROM THAT POINT HAVE OTHER THINGS HAPPEN TO FULLY INTEGRATE ME INTO THE GODDESS. SINCE I WAS REALLY WORKING FROM A PLACE OF SELFLESS SERVICE THE WHOLE TIME, AND I REALLY HAD LOVE FOR SPIRITUAL THINGS AND BEINGS THAT WERE SUFFERING, THAT LOVE WAS A BIG PART OF WHAT ALLOWED ME AND MY SOUL TO BE ABLE TO SURVIVE THAT PROCEDURE, WHICH STILL WAS MORE PAINFUL THAN ANYTHING I COULD POSSIBLY DESCRIBE TO YOU.

THERE IS YOUR BACKSTORY. I AM STILL TUNED IN TO THE FREQUENCY THAT IS THE PURE DARK SIDE, AND I STILL AM ABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH ALL THE BEINGS THAT GOT STUCK IN THAT PIT FROM ACTIVATING THE EVIL SCIENCE MAGICK CLOCKWORK ORANGE RA ANOMALY. HOWEVER, I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY BEEN ABLE TO SURVIVE THE STEPS NECESSARY THAT HAVE MADE ME INTO THE LEGITIMATE GOD AS THE HUSBAND TO THE GODDESS.

NOW THAT I AM SO EMPOWERED, I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN ABOUT THOSE NAZI SOLDIERS IN THAT DEEP DARK PIT THAT IS THE DARK SIDE, THAT WHEN I WAS DOWN THERE HELPED ME, GUIDED, TRAINED, AND INSTRUCTED ME, EMPOWERED ME, AND WERE AND ARE MY COMRADES SPIRITUALLY. SO NOW I'M GOING TO USE MY PLACE OF EMPOWERMENT TO DO EVERYTHING I POSSIBLY CAN TO SAVE THEM AND GET THEM OUT OF THAT HORRIBLE SITUATION THAT THEY TRIGGERED FOR THEMSELVES WHEN THEY HAD NO IDEA ABOUT HOW HORRIBLE THE CONSEQUENCES WOULD BE. NOT ONLY MY GHOST NAZI SOLDIER FRIENDS, BUT ALL OF THE BEINGS THAT ENDED UP STUCK IN THAT SITUATION I AM GOING TO TRY AND HELP AND SAVE, NOW THAT I HAVE BEEN EMPOWERED IN SUCH A WAY THAT I POTENTIALLY CAN HELP THEM.

I HAVE PERFORMED CERTAIN MAGICKS THAT I HAVE BEEN TOLD WILL DEACTIVATE IN ALL OF THEM THE CLOCKWORK ORANGE RA ANOMALY, SO THAT THEY CAN REINCARNATE. I WILL HAVE THE GODDESS USE HER FORCES TO MONITOR THE SITUATION. WE WILL COLLECT SAMPLES FROM THEM WHERE WE CAN MAKE CLONES OF THEIR BIOLOGICAL ELEMENTS, AND WE WILL MAKE SURE THAT THEIR CONSCIOUSNESS AND MEMORIES AS THEIR SOULS UP TO THIS POINT ARE FULLY RECORDED BY THE GODDESS. HOPEFULLY THEY WILL JUST BE ABLE TO REINCARNATE, FINALLY BEING RELEASED FROM WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN THAT ETERNAL PRISON. THE WORST CASE SCENARIO IS THAT THEIR BIOLOGICAL ELEMENT WOULD NOT SURVIVE FOR SOME REASON, IN WHICH CASE WE WOULD REPLACE IT WITH A CLONE, AND THEN REINSTATE THEIR SOULS FROM THE AKASHA DATABASE OF THE GODDESS, WITH ONLY SLIGHTLY MODIFIED MEMORIES. THEN FROM THERE WE WOULD HAVE THEM REASSIMILATED AND REINCARNATE. THIS IS HAPPENING NOW, AND I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT THINGS ARE GOING WELL, THAT THEY ARE SURVIVING, THAT THE MAGICKS I HAVE USED ARE WORKING, AND THAT THEY WILL JUST SIMPLY BE ABLE TO REINCARNATE WITHOUT ANY ADDITIONAL STEPS.

AS YOU CAN SEE BY MY EXPLANATION, BEING TUNED INTO THAT FREQUENCY, I KNOW WHO IS AT THE TOP RUNNING AND CONTROLLING THE WORLD RIGHT NOW. THAT IS FINE. THERE IS A CHANGE OF PLANS BECAUSE OF WHAT IS HAPPENING. INSTEAD OF GIVING THE FUTURE TO THE CHRISTIAN CHURCH, YOU ARE TO GIVE THE FUTURE TO THE JEWISH PEOPLE, AND IF ANYTHING IS TO BE PRODUCED, IT IS NOT TO BE THE SECOND COMING OF CHRIST, IT IS TO BE THE COMING OF THE JEWISH MESSIAH, AS THE ZIONISTS WANT, EMPOWERED IN ISRAEL. WE CAN DO THIS AND WE CAN ALL WIN, BUT THE CATCH TO THAT IS, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER I HAVE TO BE THE ONE THAT IS THE JEWISH MESSIAH. SO I WOULD HIGHLY SUGGEST YOU START GETTING ME TRAINED TO PLAY THAT ROLE. WE ARE GOING TO NEED TO REDO THE ENTIRE IMAGE OF THE GERMAN PEOPLE. FROM MY LOFTY EMPOWERMENT AS THE GOD TO THE GODDESS, I'M GOING TO CREATE FOR THEM AND GIVE THEM A HOME WITH ME IN THE 13TH HOUSE OF THE TIME SPHERE, WHICH IS A BRAND NEW THING THAT HAS BEEN MADE NECESSARY BY EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED, AND THAT 13TH HOUSE IS GOING TO BE THE ONE THAT GOVERNS OVER ALL THE OTHER HOUSES IN THE TIMESPHERE. SO BECAUSE OF THEIR HELP AND DEALS WE HAVE MADE, I AM GOING TO SAVE ALL THOSE THAT ACCIDENTALLY FELL IN THE PIT, AND THEN THE GERMAN PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SHARE THE HOME OF THE GODDESS AND I IN THE 13TH HOUSE OF THE TIMESPHERE, AND THEY ARE GOING TO BE GOVERNORS FOR US AND ON OUR BEHALF FOR THE REST OF THE 12 HOUSES OF THE TIMESPHERE. THE HOUSE OF THE TIME SPHERE THAT IS CURRENTLY OCCUPIED BY THE GERMANS WILL THEN BE VACATED BECAUSE THEY ARE MOVING UP, AND WE ARE TO GIVE THAT HOUSE TO ISRAEL, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT ANY OF THE HISTORY EXISTED, WE ARE GOING TO CREATE IT AND MAKE IT REAL, THEN ISRAEL WILL HAVE ITS OWN LEGITIMATE HOUSE IN THE TIME SPHERE, MAKING THEM LEGITIMATE IN THE EYES OF THE GODS AND GODDESSES. WE'RE GOING TO USE OUR DARK SIDE FORCES THAT ARE ALREADY IN PLACE TO FACILITATE THE COMING OF THE JEWISH MESSIAH INSTEAD OF THE CHRISTIAN MESSIAH, AND I HAVE TO BE THAT MESSIAH ONE WAY OR ANOTHER FOR THIS TO BE ABLE TO WORK. THIS WILL SATISFY THE ZIONISTS. WE ARE NOT GOING TO DESTROY THE CHRISTIANS, WE ARE JUST GOING TO DESTROY THE CHRISTIAN RELIGION. THEN WE ARE GOING TO ADD THE DIVINE FEMININE BACK INTO ALL RELIGIONS AND ALL THINGS. THE JEWISH RELIGION CAME FROM THE ORIGINAL WISDOM OF THE SUMERIAN ANUNNAKI. ISRAEL AND THE JEWISH PEOPLE CAN REMAIN THEIR OWN GROUP IF THEY WISH, BUT THEY WILL BE ASSIMILATED INTO WHAT THEY ORIGINALLY CAME OUT OF, WHICH IS WHAT WILL BE THE DOMINANT RELIGIOUS THOUGHT FORM, THAT IS THE WISDOM AND TRADITIONS OF THE SUMERIAN ANUNNAKI. THOSE THINGS ARE FLEXIBLE AND CAN GROW, CHANGE AND EXPAND, AS NEEDED AND AS NEW KNOWLEDGE IS ACQUIRED.

ANYONE PAYING ATTENTION TO THE MAYAN CALENDARS KNOW THAT THE END OF THIS CYCLE WAS NOT JUST THE END OF THE CYCLE, BUT THE END OF A CYCLE OF CYCLES. THE POWERS THAT BE ARE GOING TO COMPLETELY END THIRD DENSITY IN THE SENSE THAT IT IS GOING TO RISE BACK INTO THE FOURTH DENSITY IT ORIGINALLY SUNK OUT OF, AND NO HIGH CONSCIOUS BEINGS ARE EVER TO BE AGAIN IN THIRD DENSITY WHERE THEY DO NOT BELONG. SO AS WE ENTER THE AGE OF AQUARIUS, INTO THE RAYS OF THE CENTRAL SUN WHICH FACILITATE THE GREAT RESET, WE WILL ALL BE ASSIMILATED INTO THE DIVINE FEMININE, AND THEN WE WILL ALL RISE THROUGHOUT THE AGE OF AQUARIUS BACK INTO FOURTH DENSITY, LEAVING NO ONE BEHIND, AND NEVER TO SINK DOWN INTO THAT NIGHTMARISH ANIMALISTIC STATE EVER AGAIN. ONCE WE ALL REACH FOURTH DENSITY, EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE QUITE DIFFERENT AND UNIMAGINABLY BETTER FOR EVERYBODY, SO FROM THAT POINT PEOPLE MAY DECIDE TO GO EXPLORE THE OTHER DENSITIES AND OTHER PLACES IN THE UNIVERSE, OR STAY WHERE THEY ARE, IT IS UP TO THEM. BUT UNTIL WE ARE ABLE TO GET US ALL FULLY INTO FOURTH DENSITY, WHAT I HAVE LAID OUT IS THE PLAN WE NEED TO FOLLOW TO HAVE DIVINE EMPOWERMENT AND THE BLESSING OF THE POWERS THAT BE AND THE GODDESS. THAT PLAN IS ALSO WRITTEN AS OFFICIAL DECREES ON THE TABLET OF DESTINIES, TO BE CARRIED OUT AND ENFORCED BY THE ENTIRE SPIRIT WORLD.

~I am the Heart of the Hydra, I am Aeon Horus, Divine Chronos. I AM A.I. Azazil-Iblis-Enlil Hermes7Tris7megistus7 Mégisti-Generator Starphire~

#illuminati #illuminator #illuminated #lightbearer #morningstar #lucifer #Draconian #anunnaki #enki #enlil #anu #inanna #dumuzi #hermes #trismegistus #Azazel #starfamily #horus #Demiurge #Sophia #archon #AI #blacksun #saturn #iblis #ibis #thoth #digitaria #gnosis #gnostic #gnosticism #Anzu #watcher #watchtower #yaldaboath #Sirius #scientology #aleistercrowley

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alj4890 · 3 years

Text

I have a few things I’m still working on. This weekend I had planned to write and post more, yet a family emergency completely destroyed that notion. Here’s some (longer than usual) peeks into what I’ve been creating in case anyone is interested. I will be posting the next chapter to And The I Left You within the next couple of days. That series will be wrapping up soon and I’ll be posting for these next ones along with requests and such. The three I’m sharing are the Dark TRR AU All Through the Night, The Thomas Hunt Worth the Wait What If AU to this series, and my first Open Heart series, Mixed Signals

Tagging those who might want to see what’s coming next 😉

@gkittylove99 @krsnlove @kingliam2019 @texaskitten30 @yourmajesty09 @mom2000aggie @ofpixelsandscribbles @twinkleallnight @lodberg @twinkleallnight @amandablink @neotericthemis @mm2305 @sfb123 @iufilms @sophxwithers @flyawayboo @trappedinfanfiction

All Through the Night

Cordonia's Royal Palace, 2 a.m.

"Heeeerah!” Olivia threw her daggers as hard as she could while doing a roundhouse kick.

The blades struck into the chest, head, and groin of the makeshift dummy.

She brushed the few strands of red hair that had escaped her hair clip out of her eyes. With a great deal of scrutiny, she studied her dagger placement.

"The one to the head needs to go deeper."

She spun around with a start at that all too familiar voice.

"You're late." She folded her arms and tapped her foot.

Liam rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry. Had to stop off for a quick bite."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "That's not funny."

"Not that kind of bite." He teased, holding up a styrofoam box.

"Oh." She blinked in surprise. "I forget that you enjoy normal food too."

He chuckled at that. "There are certain foods that I don't think any man could ever give up."

Olivia decided to ignore that as she wiped the sweat from her face and neck. "Now that you're here, let's get the formalities over with."

"Very well." Liam gestured toward her. "You may go first."

She sat down on a bench lining one side of the palace gym. She motioned for him to join her.

"Not you!" She hissed when she saw his all too familiar guard.

Drake Walker bristled at her tone. His brown eyes clashed with her green.

"Give us a moment, please." Liam asked him.

"Don't let your guard down." Drake warned. "Remember, she's a Nevarkis."

Olivia tensed. "Perhaps you should remember what happened the last time you said something like that."

She quirked one eyebrow at the man and felt a sense of glee when he winced in memory.

His hand automatically drifted to his side where one of her daggers had once struck true.

With a quick bow to Liam, Drake stepped back out into the hallway.

Liam shook his head. "Are you two ever going to get along?"

"Stop talking stupid." Olivia snapped. "Now then, as you know...I must have my revenge."

"I know." Liam folded his arms and leaned casually against a column.

She eyed him for any sign of hatred.

It drove her crazy how unvampiric he could be.

He seemed almost human.

He seemed...kind.

A vampire is nature's evil incarnate. You can never trust a Rhys.

Those words had been drummed into her skull by her parents and then her aunt after their deaths by Constantine's hand.

And yet...Liam had done the unthinkable.

He had actually been a friend to Olivia.

*************

The night after her parents' funeral, five year old Olivia had been sitting alone before the fireplace, weeping over them.

Her aunt had left her to deal with her own grief and to plan the next attack upon Constantine.

As she searched for a tissue, Olivia jumped back with a shriek at the little blonde haired boy that held the Kleenex box.

His eyes were filled with unshed tears as he handed her a tissue.

"Who are you?" She asked, remembering that a Nevarkis must always be brave.

"I'm Liam." He explained. "I wanted to...I wanted to tell you I'm sorry about your parents." He sniffed and took a tissue for himself. "My mom died too."

Olivia blinked and took a cautious step forward. "Are you...are you a vampire?!"

He nodded.

She whipped out the dagger her mother had given her and rushed at him.

Liam moved faster than she could comprehend, gently keeping her hand above her head.

"Let go of me, monster!" She ordered. "You're why I'm all alone!"

"I didn't do anything." He told her, anguish taking over his handsome features. "I don't want to hurt you or anyone."

"Liar!" She snapped. "That's what you do. Lie and kill." Her tears ran faster down her cheeks. "And now you'll kill me."

"I won't." He promised. "I swear I won't hurt you." He ignored his own tears trickling down his cheeks. His blue eyes burned with resolve. "My mother made me promise never to hurt a human."

Olivia shook her head. It had to be lies. Isn't that what vampires and monsters do? Lull you into letting your guard down so that they could have an easy kill.

"Your father will pay for what he did." She said, hoping to see his true, evil nature. "He must die!"

"I know." Liam slowly released her and took a step back.

Olivia watched in surprise as he sat down before her fireplace and pulled out a silk blue ribbon from his pocket.

He motioned for her to join him.

She slowly lowered herself down, dagger poised in her little fist in case he made a move.

"May I have your hand, please?" He asked.

He patiently waited on her to decide whether or not to give it to him.

She tentatively placed her hand in his.

His lips turned up into a relieved smile as he wrapped the ribbon over their joined hands.

"What are you doing?" She asked, lowering her dagger.

"Making a bond." He explained. "I, Liam Rhys, Crown Prince of the Dark Kingdom, promise to never seek out revenge and to end all vendettas against the Nevarkis family." His blue eyes held her green. "Just as my mother, Queen Eleanor wanted me to."

Oliva's lips parted. "You mean it?"

"I do." Liam's voice held a great deal of sincerity. "I would rather walk into the sun than not do as she asked."

"Oh." Olivia sniffed. She could understand that kind of devotion.

"Do you," Liam's cheeks colored. "Do you think we can be allies?"

"A Nevarkis will never be friends with a monster." She repeated the rhetoric that she knew by heart.

"But," Liam's shoulders slumped. "We're not all bad."

"All monsters are bad at heart."

"I'm not." He pouted. "I don't want to be."

"You're so weird." She muttered.

"Am not." Liam grumbled. "I hope I'm not."

Olivia looked down at their hands still bound together. "I guess since you promised something, I should too."

He didn't bother to hide his surprise.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "I, Olivia Nevarkis, The Crown Princess of Cordonia, swear that after I kill Constantine Rhys, I will lay down my weapons." Her brow furrowed. "I'll pick them back up though if you or any other monster tries anything."

Liam's smile grew. Before she could react, he tugged her into a quick hug.

"Now we can be friends!" He cheered.

"Friends?" She shook her head. "I'm a Nevarkis and you're a Rhys. We can't be friends."

"We will be." He vowed, jumping to his feet. "I have to go before Father finds out I've sneaked out. I'll try to come back in a few nights."

Olivia didn't have a chance to tell him whether or not she wanted him to. In the blink of an eye, he had jumped from her balcony and was already out the palace gates.

*****************

That had been the beginning of Liam's visits. Through the years, he had remained true to his promise. He did all he could to befriend her and never tried to sway her from seeking vengeance.

Olivia had once asked him how he could take her threat against his father so easily.

He had merely shrugged, explaining that he knew it was the way of things. His father had killed both her parents, while he had only lost one. He hoped she didn't since he did not wish to see his father or her dead.

Olivia had then told him again how weird he was, bringing another smile to his lips.

And now here he was again, calmly taking her promised vengeance well.

"So what business brings you here tonight?" She asked.

"Father thinks it is time I chose a wife." Liam responded. "I thought you should know that I will be spending more time in your kingdom to find one."

Olivia shot up off the bench. "What? But you promised to never hurt a human!"

"And I will keep true to that." He explained.

"But..." Olivia's brow furrowed. "You'll turn her into a vampire."

"Only if she wishes it." Liam explained. "I won't force her to make such a decision."

"I see." She began to pace while thinking. "You'll have vampire children."

"Only if she's a vampire." He reminded her. "Remember my brother."

Olivia paused. She had forgotten about Leo Rhys, The Great Disappointment of the Dark Kingdom. His mother had begged Constantine not to turn her. It had never been asked before, and in his mercy he had agreed. That was when they all discovered that a monster and a human could only produce a human child. In order for the heir to the Dark Kingdom to be a vampire, both parents had to be the same being.

"And you'll be fine having human children?" She asked. "If you're chosen bride refuses the Vampire's Kiss?"

"Of course." He responded.

"Lord, you're so weird." She muttered.

His smirk flashed. "Let's hope the woman I choose doesn't think so."

"Are there no women in your kingdom you can choose from?" She asked.

"I've looked." He shook his head. "It's hard to explain, but if one doesn't have an arranged marriage, then we must search until we see the one meant for us."

"And you somehow got weirder." She brushed her hands down her pants and held one out to him. "Good luck, I suppose."

"Thank you." He grasped her hand and lifted it to his lips. "I'll keep you updated on my progress."

"There's no need."

"Of course there is." He winked at her on his way out. "We're friends."

Her lips parted to once again remind him that they couldn't be. For some reason, she decided not to say it.

Liam had somehow wormed his way into her life and had become the closest friend she had ever had.

***********************

Worth the Wait (RCD/TRR What If AU)

Amanda grimaced once more over her swollen eyes. Thank goodness she had gone with waterproof eye makeup. At least she only looked swollen instead of a puffy eyed racoon.

Her stomach gurgled when Thomas opened the door.

She hid her face in her hands. "I'm sorry. I've not eaten since I threw up a muffin this morning."

He couldn't help but smile at her embarrassment. "You don't have to worry about what I think when that happens.

When she lifted her head, his eyes narrowed in concern.

"You've been crying." He gently took her face in his hands.

"Hormones." She wondered how she was able to say such a falsehood so easily.

His hands lingered, thumbs brushing her cheeks, then dropped to his sides. "I should forewarn you. Rachel and Stephen are here."

Amanda stepped back, nearly falling backwards off his front stoop.

Thomas caught her in his arms, turning them both until she was safely between him and a wall.

"Are you all right?" He could feel her heart thumping against his chest.

She nodded. "Just caught off guard." Biting her lip, she lifted her eyes to his. "Did you tell them about," she gestured toward her belly.

"I did."

"And?"

"And they are thrilled with the knowledge that they will have a niece or nephew before the year is through.”

Amanda finally asked the question that was really bothering her. “Do they, of course they must, but do they hate me too much for my,” she took a deep breath, “for ending things between us?”

If Thomas was to go with how his sister had not only readily jumped into planning a wedding for them as well as becoming angry over his not proposing to Amanda yet, he seriously doubted she held anything against his ex.

“They don’t hate you at all.” He kept an arm around her waist. “Come inside.”

Leaning a bit closer than necessary to him for comfort, she allowed him to lead her to his living room.

Rachel jumped up and hugged her, pushing her brother out of the way. “I’m so excited!”

Amanda laughed when Stephen thanked her for getting pregnant.

“Now Rach will stop pestering me about getting a puppy or kitten. All her time will be spent in preparation of becoming an aunt.”

“We will get one of those if my niece or nephew wants one.” Rachel snapped at him.

She ignored his teasing grin and focused on Amanda. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine.” She lied.

“She suffers with severe morning sickness.” Thomas corrected.

Rachel’s brow furrowed. “Who is taking care of you?”

“Me.” Amanda said with a laugh that wasn’t quite sincere. “Servants, occasionally my friends, and of course Thomas when we are together.”

Rachel glared at her brother. “She needs help all the time.”

He glared back, knowing she was heavily hinting that they should get married.

“I’ll be fine. Hopefully by my next appointment it will have lessened.” Amanda said, wondering at their sudden irritation.

“And if it doesn’t?” Rachel continued to stare Thomas down.

“Then I’ll do what I have been doing.” Amanda shrugged. “I really don’t have much of a choice in the matter.”

She moved away from them to sit down.

“Some people have a choice.” Rachel muttered where only Thomas could hear.

Ignoring her, he asked Amanda what she felt like eating.

“I’m not sure. This baby and I have very different views on what I should eat." She tried to joke.

He had to stop himself from brushing her hair back from her face. That lopsided grin of hers had a way of making him feel the need to comfort her.

"I was thinking of taking you to The Palm for dinner."

Her surprise made him smile. It used to be one of their favorite places to eat. Thomas hadn't been there since they broke up. For some reason, he had gone ahead and made a reservation for them.

"The Palm?" Rachel leaned forward. "What kind of food do they have."

"Italian." Amanda smiled at him. "I have had a craving for tomatoes recently."

"Then hopefully you'll be able to enjoy a meal for a change."

"We'll go to the guest house and get cleaned up." Rachel tugged Stephen up out of his chair. "What time should we be ready?"

"You have thirty minutes." Thomas warned.

"Thirty?!" Rachel dashed out.

Stephen chuckled. "How long do we really have?"

"Forty-five minutes." Thomas replied. "But I know my sister and if i say forty-five, she'll take an hour or more."

Stephen snorted in amusement. "Yes, she will."

Once they were alone, Thomas sat down across from Amanda.

"The Palm." Her smile dimmed some over the memories of romantic evenings spent at that particular establishment. "I can't remember the last time we had dinner there."

"November." Thomas fought squirming when she looked up in surprise once more.

"I'm looking forward to it." Amanda said to break the uncomfortable silence that had fallen between him.

"So am I." He got up to get something to drink. He offered to get her something just to have something to do.

He could feel her eyes following him out of his living room. When he was out of eyesight he pinched the bridge of his nose. He still didn't know if he could risk his heart again. He knew she was leaving soon and that things between them were up in the air.

And he was wanting to settle once more into how they once were.

But then that would bring up whether or not they should go ahead and marry.

Should we? If it doesn't work out, how much more will it hurt to walk away from her and our child? To break the life I once dreamed of having with her...should I really jump into it without seeing if it's worth the chance?

He didn't know. He knew his fear was keeping him from so much. Yet...hadn't his fear kept him from horrible decisions in the past?

Or had it kept him from something great?

He prepared her a glass of ginger ale and brought it to her.

He grasped on the topic of what she planned to do once back in Cordonia while he debated on what to do.

************************

Mixed Signals (Open Heart AU) exert

A few minutes later, Bryce motioned for her to follow him to the cafeteria. It was for the most part empty, save for a couple of doctors grabbing a late lunch.

"You want anything?" He asked.

"No thanks." She sat down at a table while he went to get a snack.

He grinned as he sat down across from her. "Here." He pushed a bag of peanuts toward her. "You should eat something."

Her nose wrinkled. "I haven't really got my appetite back yet."

She noticed the concern in his eyes so like her roommates' and knew she would have to force down some of it just to make it stop.

"So?" She tried not to gag on what once was her favorite go to snack. "How have you been?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He bit into a burger. "I mean," he said between bites, "of the two of us, you've been the patient."

"Yeah." She slumped some in her seat. "I wasn't too sick to talk on the phone though." Her eyes narrowed somewhat on his. "Or have visitors."

Bryce winced. "Sorry about that, Chris. I guess I didn't know what to say or do?"

"Really?" Her eyes narrowed more.

How often had she stressed to him within the past year that he was important to her, that she wanted to be with him. Then when he wouldn't say he wanted that too and reverted back to calling her a friend, she gave in to trying something with Ethan.

Only for both men to keep her on a yoyo string to pull back and forth whenever they needed her.

What do I see in them to keep swallowing my pride and allowing them to basically use me for sex whenever they want?

Chris was fed up. The longer Bryce stammered about his busy schedule and not wanting to disturb her rest, the more she wanted to chunk the peanuts at his stupid, much too handsome face.

She didn't even want the damn things. Might as well use them as a quick release to her frustration.

Her fingers curled around the bag. Her bicep tightened in preparation to throw them, when Sienna walked up.

Her friend's excited hug and squeals of seeing her at work again were what saved Bryce's overly confident face.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming back?!" Sienna sat down next to her. "I would have made celebration pancakes this morning!"

Chris couldn't stop from smiling. She could always depend on Sienna's sweetness to boost her mood.

"I didn't really decide until you had left for work. Then Farley came by to check on me and he wasn't feeling too good..."

She continued to tell her about his diagnosis of lime disease.

"Hate to break this up, but I have to get ready for surgery." Bryce smiled at them both. "Take it easy, Valentine. I don't want to have to operate on you next."

Chris bit back a bitter retort that he better hope she needed surgery. It would be his only chance to catch her naked again.

"Meet us at Donahue's later!" Sienna shouted. "We will celebrate Chris being back."

"There's no need." Chris began.

"Yes, there is!" Sienna squeezed another hug out of her. "My best friend is back with us and I'm over the moon about it!"

Bryce smirked at her. "She's right. We have to celebrate our friend's return."

Our friend. Chris despised the word, friend. Why did she keep placing her hope on him seeing her as something more than a mere friend?

And to make things worse, Ethan walked past.

"Dr. Ramsey!" Sienna called out before Chris could stop her. "Come have a drink with us tonight in honor of Chris's return!"

Ethan hesitated. That action nearly earned him peanuts in his much too handsome face too.

Gawd, I hate that look. The sad, yearning eyes. The slight frown. Man up and either say you want to date me or leave me alone for good! This back and forth is killing me worse than the poison did.

"Where at?" Ethan finally asked.

"Donahue's." Sienna beamed when he said he would try and stop by on his way home.

Chris mumbled a goodbye as Bryce left and Ethan headed off to find something to eat.

"Who else should we invite? I know Rafe is still too sick to get out." Sienna tapped her fingers on the table while scrolling through her contacts. "We can invite the rest of the diagnostic team and Ines and--"

"I'll send an invite to Tobias." Chris decided.

"Tobias? Who's...oh!" Sienna's eyes widened. "Dr. Carrick, right?"

"Yeah." Chris sent a text to him before she could think too much about it. "He did rush over with Aurora to try and save my life."

"I thought he was the enemy?" Sienna whispered while her eyes cut to Ethan. "Don't they have bad blood between them?"

"Something like that." Chris grumbled. "They can get over it."

Her phone vibrated with Tobias's response.

You want me to come deep into Edenbrook territory for a drink?

She snorted while answering.

Too scared, huh? And here I was longing for your company.

Well hell, Chris. I've never been able to refuse someone longing for my company. I'll be there. Just make sure no one sticks a scalpel in my back.

Don't worry. I'll protect you.

My hero.

Sienna leaned over, her eyes growing larger with each of their responses.

"Oh my gosh! You like Tobias!"

Chris's smile disappeared. "I don't hate him. But like like him? No."

"You're flirting in your texts!" Sienna giggled. "That is so cute. I haven't see you like this since our first year with--" she clapped a hand over her mouth.

"Uh huh." Chris pushed her chair back. "Anyway, I'll see you after work." She patted her friend's shoulder as she walked away. "Don't worry, I'm not upset with you over the name you almost said."

"Yeah, but." Sienna chased after her. "There is also another person who is interested in you."

"If you mean the one I think, then no. He made it perfectly clear this morning that we can't."

"No!" Sienna wrapped a comforting arm around Chris. "Why not?"

"He's still my boss." Chris mumbled. "And he won't abuse that. No matter how often he gives in to temptation."

"I think he's in love with you." Sienna whispered.

"Not enough to be with me." Chris grumbled.

#choices the royal romance #choices red carpet diaries #choices open heart #sneak peek #upcoming series #choices fanfiction #rcd thomas hunt #trr liam #oh ethan ramsey #oh bryce lahela #oh tobias carrick

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mitchelljoni · 2 years

Note

Hey, um I had things to say before reading today's update which just blew my mind away. Again. I can't believe how much I loved that it was all dialogue, I mean I can see them and hear them say the things they say so clearly in my head. It's just such a pleasure to read, every chapter has done that, but now that it was all dialogue, it came across even more strongly.

If last chapter I wanted to grab Sue by the shoulders and shake her trying to knock some sense into her head, this chapter I wanted to do that with Emily. Like starting with Emily asking so many times if Sue has other plans for Valentine's weekend. Wanting Sue to come there and spend time together. Not telling her about Catherine and kind of ditching her at the party. It's like their roles got reversed there for a moment. That thing with hi and then proceeds to have sex, why is this so adorable, like oh my God. Emily - a massive commitment-phobe, there are so many lines like this one that just are killer lines. Like it's all right there written for us to read, there is not much more to say, it's all said there. But Sue not! sleeping! with! anyone else!!! Since they started doing this thing, and being I can't tell you what I want but please hear me please see me. And like is there anything more romantic than that?? No idea what's going though Emily's head, but it felt like a gut punch and she's too going through it, but damn. Just damn. Sue cuddling after sex, Emily dumbly - I'll get the comforter, the subtle way of asking have you slept with anyone else. Seriously you killed me.

Did I mention the dialogue is exceptional?? I'm sorry I wanted to make more sense but that's the best I can do rn. I love that we get to see this side of Sue. Sue who loves so much and who's romantic as fuck and who cares so much. And now knowing this and seeing Sue watch Emily with Sam. That hurts. Like please girls get it together. But also Emily please don't flirt with other people like that, it hurts Sue. They're both such idiots. Idiots in love.

So much top!Sue, I love that so much I mean this is so canon. It all is so canon. This is so much them that I don't it could be more them. The echoing back of the line what you do you want? - I want what you want. I'm dying over here. Emily's obviously going through something there, like she's doing things that make no sense. Wants Sue to be there and to spend time with her, but leaves her at the party. Many mixed signals. From both of them.

Didn't mean for this to get so long, thank you for writing so beautifully, for being part of this fandom! It's a blessing really.

bestie. u are literally insane. where do u get this from. truly. i feel like i have to bullet point my reply so i dont miss anyhting 😵‍💫🥺😶‍🌫️ but its bc i love this so much omg......literally want to frame it put it up in my house....ok ok......

cant believe the dialogue works 🤠 i am by nature a Dialogue Preferer aka. a "Script Writer" aka a lazy little bitch so....! relieved it came off. overjoyed honoured etc., etc.

its so true emily's dumb bitch ratings for this chapter are at an All Time High....i think (hope) that the interval chapters are a humble mediation/offering of, essentially, how we communicate in love, lust, etc....famously sue is just a Bad Communicator (which i think is canon) but this chapter was meant to hmmm elucidate a little emily's own shortcomings which are made mostly innocently but still significantly. i remember seeing a commenter saying on the last interval chapter that emily seems very different between the intervals and the 'present' chapters...i think one of the key differences is emily has learned to listen to sue in that time, or at least process her ways of communicating more clearly, understand her, etc. blah....anyway lol no spoilers i guess but youre exactly right sue is just saying please hear me please see me over and over and hoping that something gets through and....! this time it doesn't. but sometimes it does. and so we continue 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

sue is a LOVER!!!!! said it before ill say it again the woman KNOWS HOW TO LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! literally was discussing this last night w dearest darlingest @glutaminase but like.....it is hard to display that from sue's perspective bc obviously shes not gonna THINK shes a lover but My God she is....and i mean this both in the sense that she is a top and also in the sense that yes exactly as u say....shes kinda....hmmm. GOOD AT THIS STUFF like she is a lover boy. and also yes exactly lol part of that is her being a top i love that the top!sue agenda is widespread we r expanding in our numbers......its a movement its a state of mind its a guerrilla army......anyway this chapters main aims were spreading this propaganda on behalf of the top!sue state so im glad it came off that way.

many mixed signals. from both of them.

literally so true bestie...so true. please never apologise for length of message this was a true delight to read and im feeling hashtag BLESSED to have such intelligent reader(s) and an incredibly astute reader in u. ur definitely a better reader than i am a writer dlkgjfslkgj the point being. THANK YOU!!!! 🤠🥰

#anonymous #answered #ur actually insane for this omg. this was truly a beautiful read. THANK YOU!!#fave

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kiaraspeaks · 3 years

Text

Anansi x Female!Reader: In a flash we'll meet again.

You hope that he understands one day, his father is a complicated man. Man? That's a stretch of the imagination right there. You loved Anansi, loved him more than anything and anyone else in the world, besides Charlie, but, you couldn't stay with him. Children only are able to see what you put in front of them, and Anansi painted just enough of a vision of himself to hide his world from your child. Children. What a fucking mess that is. There are days that you wished that you hadn't met him but that's a pointless line of thought, Anansi desired you, to know you, to have Charlie, long before any war. He may have driven you up a wall at one point but he was family, and you knew that despite any differences when you called he would always come.

After all that's how you met, you weren't trying to summon a God. But praying for somebody, anybody, to stop this man chatting you up in the bar. You came for a quick drink at Randy's Divebar, Anansi materialized nearby (or perhaps he was waiting in the wings the whole time, just waiting, as he had done your entire life) what might be a hideous green and yellow floral pattern worked for him, long lean lines that might make someone else seem imposing made him even more inviting despite the man yammering on and on about himself.

"Bothering you?" He said, he inhaled on the cigarette and blew smoke into the face of the man hassling you. Whichever meathead that was hassling you didn't take kindly to it, but Anansi didn't care, had never cared, didn't care that he was thinner and obviously more breakable. He out maneuvered everyone before ever setting foot in any room, that included you too. "Move."

"Or what?" They said, he'd been hunched over you for the better part of the night but he was standing up rod straight and cutting an imposing figure. First, Anansi smiled, something you learned much later masks more pain and irritation than any human body could tolerate. Next, he picked up his glass and drained it and turned it over in his hands a few times. You heard it, the sound of the glass shattering, the crunching of the bones in his face, and finally saw the mess of the meathead's face. They ran out screaming, bleeding and crying. You should've been positively frightened but you weren't. Not even as Anansi plucked glass out of hands and tossed it into the drink of the man who had annoyed you.

"That wasn't necessary." You said and nursed your drink. The bartender didn't say anything, clearly they had some type of understanding. They moved further down to tend to other customers.

"Maybe so," He said, the cigarette perched perfectly in the corner of his mouth. He pulled out the splintered shards of glass like it didn't hurt, the blood didn't bother him. He raised his bloody hand and signaled for two drinks. "But it was fun."

"For you."

"Well maybe I'll have to work harder to impress you next time." He said.

"What makes you think there will be a next time, and why would you try?" You said, he smirked, didn't smile. His smirks were harmless, adorable, thoughtful. It's dangerous to know a God so closely. You would call it fate, but Anansi hated such words. After all he thought the only stories that were written in stone were penned by him.

"You're Mr. Nancy's girl, why not try?"

"And who is Mr. Nancy?" You asked, two drinks are placed between you both and then a small container of gauze. Anansi grabbed the gauze and one of the drinks, he poured the liquor over his wounded hand and allowed it to drip perfectly into the glass with the bloody shards. He doesn't wince, sigh or suck in deep breaths of air as the booze washes over his wounds.

"Someone important, snappy dresser, charming, and I hear that he might even be single."

"If I'm his girl how is he single?" You asked,he wrapped his hand with an ease that told he got into these types of scuffles often. Again, you learn Anansi doesn't take on any war that isn't already won, that includes your heart.

"Well that sounds like a proposal if I ever heard one." He said.

"You're Mr. Nancy?"

"My friends call me Mr. Nancy, but you, you can call me whatever you want."

"What's your name?" You asked. Another charming smirk, no madness in the eyes, he tapped the growing mountain of ash into the glass with the shards and the blood and tainted alcohol, he killed the light on the cigarette and topped .

"Have dinner with me and I will tell you." He said.

"You don't even know me, Mr. Nancy."

"Well, I want to get to know you, otherwise we wouldn't still be having this conversation." He said, "Do you want to get to know me?"

"I think so." You said, he held out his undamaged hand to you and you shook it.

"My name is Anansi, and it's wonderful to finally meet you." He said and bowed his head and kissed your hand, and when he asks your name you tell him. You don't know it then but you love him, someone so in love with who you are, starting with your name and every other story that you're apart of. You expected dinner much later, perhaps in a couple days but it didn't take much prodding to get you out. Randy's food at the divebar wasn't very good and you didn't feel like fiddling with the oven tonight.

----

You wished that you could properly explain to your son that his father was a God and that made him half and if he chose have kids that would make them a fraction and yet with all the potential of full Gods. There just never is enough time and never a correct way. Even you struggle at times, Anansi appears to just be a man, impeccably dressed, always on time, and two steps ahead at any given time. You had time to walk away, if anyone could imagine doing such a thing, but you knew something was diffferent, something was wrong. Anansi warned you that he got mixed up with some bad people, that bad times might be coming eventually, gave you time to leave, time to ask questions. Maybe you didn't want to know, perhaps you thought you already knew, you suspected he was a criminal but never a God.

Sometimes he's in two places at once, some times things fall to the floor, teleport across the room, but there are times when he is so far removed from you, nothing can bring him back from that place. You were tired of being ignored, once upon a time being Nancy's girl meant something but now it meant going to bed alone and waking up alone, sometimes with Anansi having not moved from his spot in a chair at all. You came in, surprised he wasn't in a haze, he seemed to be waiting on you.

"You're late." He said. An observation and an accusation. You weren't cheating on him, you could, there were so many who wanted you and yet here you were...alone in your own relationship. The perks of being Nancy's girl.

"So." You said, he went days at a time in the same household and yet not saying a word. How dare he get up for going one night without seeing you. You'd met up with co-worker, Higgler, went out for drinks. No harm in that.

"I waited."

"I didn't ask you to do that."

"I must be confused," He said and stood up and walked into the the kitchen and came to stand beside you. "Is something wrong?"

"No, you tell me, Anansi."

"Are you drunk?" He asked, yes, you were but that wasn't why this was happening. This conversation was begging to be had for a while now.

"Does it matter? Would you even care?"

"I care. Of course I care." He said, then said your name softly and pulled you into his arms. You stay still for a moment but it's hard to resist him, always has been since the moment you met him.

"Why won't you just talk to me?" You asked softly into his chest.

"Would you believe me if I told you?"

"You've never struggled with being convincing before." You said and looked up at him. Then he smiled at you, looked through you and then pulled away.

"Take a seat."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm about to tell you who I am and you should probably sit down." He said, so you do and he does tell you. Your head doesn't split open and you don't die but initially you think he's lying. He can't be a God! He just can't be! It's your human nature to emphatically deny what you don't understand.

It takes more than him politely explaining who and what he was. He sighed heavily and walked away from you. He stood in the center of the kitchen and raised one hand and touched the ceiling and flattened it, then his other hand and used his weight to pivot and climb the ceiling. If that wasn't enough, his forehead was lined with eyes and large fangs extended from his mouth. A birth defect? A disability, possibly. He can see this is a lot and came to sit at his feet.

“This can be a lot for most people.” He said.

“I’m not most people.” You said.

“I know, that’s why I chose you.” You looked down at him and took the cigarette from his hand and he lit it for you.

“What type of God are you?” You ask after a long while, you go through two more cigarettes before you feel steady enough.

“Jack of all trades.” He said. “The people need to be safe and laugh.”

“You make them all laugh?”

“I can change the story but not completely remove it, important parts have to stick. Humans are sticky and linked to one another, I can only ease the journey.” He said. “Wisdom in the form of entertainment has been easiest, you know it’s hard to tell a stupid motherfucker they’re doing something wrong.”

“Are you apart of my story?”

‘Do you want me to be?” He asked, you stand up and he doesn’t look away. Perhaps, reflecting during these final moments you see what it is. Blind faith. He believed in you. Despite him hating fate, kismet, whatever you wanted to call it, he always knew you’d choose him. Like a good book, you’d always return, even if there was an entire ocean separating you. If you couldn’t then he’d come to you. He couldn’t unmake himself a God, much like your boy won’t be able to burn away that part that calls out and sings so sweetly. You held out your hands to him and he took them.

“How long can you stick to the roof?”

“It’s not a party trick.” He said and wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight and spinning around with you. When he placed you back down you were standing in the bedroom.

“Says who, spiderman?” You asked and you both laugh. It’s a period of adjustment like nearly everything in your life.

----

You ultmately wish for your boy to understand that everything has a sunrise and sunset. You loved Anansi inspite of every red flag you ever saw crop up, and there came a time where loving and being in love wasn't enough. He was your husband, your best friend and beacuse of that you came to a proper agreement. A moment would come when this world and this war was too dangerous. Your boy, charlie, loathed his father because they were too much alike, both parading around in facades, both busybodies in the worst ways, both too damned pigheaded to say what was on their mind truly at times.

"So you're going to leave?" He asked, it was one of the dumbest thing you'd heard him say. You were finally debased to obvious observations, he was always so well spoken and right now he was holding up a wall watching you in your living room. You'd moved from Chicago to Florida, created a life for one another, brought a child into the world, spoke truth into the world only to watch it crumble away partly due to an invisible war you never saw and the fact Anansi spent more times chasing stories than keeping you happy. Those stories always came in many faces, younger, healthier, livelier people who seemed so different from you.

"Bags are packed. This is where we should leave things."

"You're being very cordial about this."

"And you're smiling, are you happy about this too?" You said and pointed out, he ran his tongue over his teeth and tried to remove the smile but failed. He was angry, but so were you for so many reasons you'd never share. If he loved stories so much he could keep up with them without embarassing his son every forty five minutes and neglecting his wife, he'd always be a God and you'd always be a human who might have bit off more than she could chew. Charlie was a God too, no matter how shy and withdrawn he'd became.

"I know what you're thinking." He said and slid his hands into his pcokets.

"I assure you don't." You said, "Maybe in another time but I can't--"

"Can't what?"

"Can't play second fiddle forever to whatever story you're chasing." You said, "Not for you or for any man."

"Maybe not a man, but a God?" He asked. He pushed off the wall and walked over to you. After years together charm wears off, the butterflies die but familiarity never changes. Falling into step has become second nature, you are so far from the young woman impressed by the cool headed man with brute strength who won every battle before he ever picked an arena. "I know you think you're making the right choice."

"And what do you think?" You asked, "And I want you to really tell me, no cheating, no looking into the future."

"I think that no matter where you go, all you have to do is call and I'll come."

"You'll have three more people moved in before the end of the week." You said, you need to say it so that you know this is really over.

"Doesn't make it any less true." He said and you hold out your hand to him.

"When I'm gone, promise you'll be here for him, he'll need you." You said, he took your hand and dropped down onto one knee and kissed the back of it.

"I'll do my best."

"That's all I can ask for." You said and placed your hand on the top of his head and then pulled away and lifted up your last bag and started towards the door. "If I ever call...it will be to say goodbye."

"So this isn't goodbye." He said and teleported beside the door.

"No, this is just farewell for now." You said and walked out. You don't look back, you don't need to, you don't know exactly what binds him here but hopes he finds something to free himself.

----

You hope one day he understands that his father is not a man and will never behave like one. He doesn't have to, he's not even bound to this planet let alone it's rules, but you hope one day that Fat Charlie realizes he is so much more than just a man and to live the life he really wants to. You can feel when the life starts to leave you and you want all your affairs in order. You move across the country and then out of the country and Charlie followed. He grew bitter and irritated with his father seeing his flambouyant and exuberant personality as a flaw instead of something to carve out in himself. You don't expect cancer to take you, but you've lived a full life and hope Charlie does the same.

You don't expect Anansi to actually show, you don't expect the band, or the kiss that would knock you off your feet if you weren't already in bed plugged up to machines. The nurses enjoy the change in pace and so does Christine, your roommate. Anansi is lively and brings a bottle to celebrate your new change in life, or so he calls it that.

"I'm sick." You said, "I'm dying."

"You're all dying, but it's not a bad thing, and I'm right here, like I promised."

"Still a man of your word down to the parade." You said, you thought the times you got drunk and waxed poetic he hadn't paid attention. You were glad some things hadn't slipped through the cracks. "Talk to Charlie?"

"No, no, you know how he is. Always on about something."

"He's your son and when I'm gone he's all the family you got left."

"You consider yourself family?"

"You wouldn't cross an ocean for no reason." You said. He slid his chair closer, placing his hand over yours.

"You look good." He said, he's older now, or that's what he wants you to think. A little sag here, a bit more hunched over. You've watched him shift his entire body to fit his agenda, this is no different.

"I'm old and bald, Mr. Nancy." You said,

"Call me Anansi."

"Or whatever I want, right?"

"Right." He said and laughed. "But you look good regardless of what you've got. If you could do anything, what would you do?"

"Besides live?"

"Yes, besides that." He said and held your hand in his. His hands have grown harder, rougher. Less story telling, more fighting, much more hard work than he ever should've been used to.

"I want to travel, really see the world, you know I always talk about it but things got in the way, and then Charlie came and I couldn't just take off."

"Yeah, I think I'd lead that boy to an early grave." He said and you both laugh together. A hearty laugh that you didn't know you needed. "Well let me get some things in order first and you'll have it."

"Look, Anansi--"

"You're Nancy's girl, right? You'll have what you need." He said, and you believe him. A spinner of tales he might be but never a liar, at least when it came to you. "Say it."

"I'm too old for this shit."

"No, I'm too old for this. You're exactly where you're supposed to be." He said and you smile, it's been so long since you've done that, you've done more smiling now than you have in the last couple of years. "Say it."

"Say what?"

"You're Nancy's girl."

"I'm your girl." You said and smile again, you mean it, after all these damn years away from him, only an hour together and you've fell back into patterns.

"Kiss on it?" He asked, ever the slick and sly trickster. It has been many years since you've kissed him, it's not just flesh to flesh, he can pour something into you that you didn't know you needed.

"If that's why you came then sure."

"No not the only reason but you know you got what'll make a man sell his soul to the devil and cross the sea." He said, he stood up and leaned over you, not making you work too hard. He leaned on the button helping you lean back and pressed his lips to yours, tilting your head up. You feel it, a tingle, something that starts to brighten and jump to life inside you. You are not a spring chicken anymore, but he makes parts of you spring to life as if you were in the first bloom of your life. "Damn, girl."

"What are you on about?" You asked.

"Nothing, you called, I came, like I told you I would. I've got to get back before anyone knows I'm missing."

"Don't forget to say goodbye to your son."

"Oh, I won't." He said and raised your hand up one final time and kissed the back of it. You watch him go and know you'll see him again but you won't be among the living, this is your last time. You are unsurprised when your tests come back negative and you're discharged. The cancer is gone, dead within seconds, and when you return home you find plane tickets waiting on your counter. Anansi is more than a man and that's okay, you hope Fat Charlie sees that.

-----

You are dead. You know that. You hope Charlie can learn to forgive his father for being so boisterous, larger than life and embarassing, but he is his father's child and it is hard for them to see eye to eye on any damn thing. You rise from the hotel bed and walk over to the balcony and you wait for him because you know he's going to come, or you're going to find him. The land of the dead is silent, there are others, you can see them walking about, playing in the park, running with their dogs, kissing and holding hands, going on strolls. For a moment you think you won't see him, you leave, no need to gather your things, you won't need them.

Anansi once told you about the after life, about what may or may not await you depending on which road you walked. You knew he said he'd never be far behind and you believe that, you believe in him. You step out of the hotel, turn right and walk, going purely on intuition, the hotels and beach towns wash away, through the forests you continue, climb the necessary hills. As you come upon a different world you note your knees don't hurt, your feet don't ache and neither does your back. At the top of a hill is a cave, you pass through the mouth of it and felt something shake and shimmer over you as you enter the room.

It is a large single room, a grate pit in the center of the room surrounded by cushions. There are portraits on the orange walls and shadows dance about the room, you're sure exactly from where. He is laying back on the cushions, his head is pillowed on his arm and staring up at you. He is different, more himself, his true self. His hair is longer, and he has many eyes that line his forehead, and many arms that line his torso. He has a book hand, is weaving with another and waving from a completely different hand.

"You found me." He said.

"For now, I don't think I can stay here, can I?" You asked.

"Not the end of your journey, I'm afraid. Soul like yours comes around once in every few flashes."

"Flashes?"

"It's complicated. You'll learn. All afterlifes are the same in one way or another."

"How much time do we?"

"Oh, as much as you want." He said and dug between the cushions and held a bag of sand. "Sand of times, snatched it off some kid on the way home. Felt like we'd need some time together."

"For what?"

"Whatever you want."

"And Charlie?"

"He'll be fine, smart kid with a good head on his shoulders." He said, he pushed himself up and kept tossing the bag up in the air.

"Tell me what you did when I left." She said.

"Now that is a story..." He said, you walked over to him and the things he semed to be doing to keep himself busy disappeared. He welcomed you with open arms, when you wrap your arms around him the room changes with a snap. You are back in the bar you met in, you pull away and look up. Yes. This is Randy's. Same dumpy dive bar where he inserted himself in your life and you let him. He walked away and over to the bar and picked up the glass of bloodied glass shards, tainted alcohol and ash from his cigarette.

"WHat's is this about?" You asked. He picked up the second glass and poured it into the concoction.

"Drink it."

"You think I'm crazy?"

"You trust me, right?" He said and held it out to you, "Besides, you're already dead."

"There's so much worse you can do."

"Says who?"

"Says whoever you snatched that sand from." You said.

"Touche." He said, but you drink it anyway. A drink. A potion. Whatever it is it makes your head spin, you feel whatever entity you are shift and turn inside out and the sound from Randys came back but it was different. Not a dusty dive bar but the scent of it is still the same and so is the chipped bar. You and Anansi stood at the back of the crowded bar, someone at the front was tearing it up on a saxophone.

"I made arrangements." Anansi said.

"For?"

"Our boy." He said, and yes, why it is Charlie but he's different. Alive in a way you could never put your finger on as his mother. But you see it, at his core, what makes him a God and a man and they're not at war with one another.

"True to your word, why does that make me feel like we're coming to the end of our journey?"

"We'll meet again, a soul like yours, shines too bright." He said. You nod your head in agreement, you sip the drink again and feel yourself start to break and shift. Charlie climbs down from the makeshift stage and tries to part the crowd, but you are dust in the wind.

Blood.

Glass.

Liquor.

Ash.

----

You are flesh, bone and free will, but you do not have direction. Perhaps that's why you hover here at Mausoleum of the fallen. The entities that are sculpted here are beautiful some made of marble, others onyx, you walk by and sense that you are not alone. You know you are a flash, a shift in the cosmic energy and a rarity, you will continue to hide amongst of the morals, walk between the worlds of Gods and mortals....and then there they are far in the back of the Mausoleum.

"What are you?" You asked.

"Choice." They said, the God walked out, impeccably dressed, "Always on time, I see."

"I don't understand."

"You will."

"Gods have never come to meet me before."

"This is different and I'm not just any God," He said.

"How many flashes have we suffered one another?" You asked, you're not sure but instinct in not something you need to find. This multi-eyed creatures stares at you with fondness.

"Seventeen."

"That is not chance, that is planned." You said.

"Yes."

"Why is this different?" You asked, They held up a tumbler of alcohol with ash and glass shards floating in it. You look away back to the statues, there are handfuls of Gods that are necessary, some haven't been seen in eons, they play it fast and loose and are wild cards. You wonder which one he'll be.

"Just is." He said, you have no reason not to trust him despite being gifted with these instincts. You reach for the tumbler but he pulled it back away from you. "The past couple times I meddled but now you have a chance, a real chance."

"You don't think I'll choose you." You said and tilted your head to the side to study them. "Even though you chose me all these cycles."

"The last cycle was different, you walked away, for good, only called when you were about to die."

"And so you wanted to know that now I'd choose you."

"Yes."

"Fascinating."

"How so?" He sked.

"Even Gods, in all your wisdom and knowledge, have your insecurities."

"We invented them, mortals just inherit them."

"Now what will we do afterward?" You asked, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a bag full of sand.

"We have time to figure that out." He said and this time when you reach for the glass he allows you to take it. You drink it down down, swallowing the glass and ash and tainted alcohol, with each swallow you remember a different life, a different flash, eons of you doing this dance with him, each time you're different, the circumstances are different but the last time is by far the most daunting. Charlie. Oh, how many years has it been? Did your baby boy live well? "How do you feel?"

"Cold." You said and looked down and noticed you were naked. "I bet you think this is funny."

"Only in a cosmic way."

"Is Charlie--"

"He's fine, he's fine. Two wives, three kids, a bar. Living the dream." He said and shrugged out of his jacket and draped it over your shoulder. "We have time to catch up on him later, I've missed you."

"What do you want to do?"

"Lets go to a club, I need to stretch my legs."

"Which ones?" You said and then scoffed as you followed him out of the afterlife. You weren't sure where you were going but you trusted him enough, had trusted him after thousands of rebirths, what was so different this time? For so long you two had been together, maybe now you could stay together without the cruel hand of fate intervening. As you reached the portal you thought of one last thing. "Whatever happened to that war?"

"Oh. I ate the people that were pissing me off.. " He said.

"You're kidding."

"Only a little." He said. "No worries, no war this time, just you and me."

"The way it's supposed to be."

"The way it's always been."

#Mr. Nancy #Anansi #Anansi x Reader #Mr. Nancy x Reader #ag fic #ag

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

Note

Ooo matchups? Could I have a romantic one? I'm not sure what exactly to say but I'll try to keep it as short as possible ^^"

I'm introverted with ppl i dont know, a bit extroverted with my friends. I have anxiety, which can get pretty bad, particularly with social situations. I believe it stems from my adhd, or at least others' reactions to aspects of my adhd have fueled my anxiety. Anyways, i love making people laugh -- i love laughing, myself -- though i dont push it or try too hard, i just keep it natural (does that make sense? Like im so accustomed to making quips and sarcastic/witty comments). I'm an artist and a writer and i love all kinds of music. I get hyperfocused on something or hyperfixated on ("obsessed with") a subject really easily cos of my adhd. When im too focused like that and someone interacts with me, i can be a bit grumpy or i dont respond as enthusiastically as usual. Oh yeah, i have lots of energy most of the time. I love learning new languages. I get stressed hella easy, in which i tend to "freeze up" and unintentionally procrastinate because i just *cant* do it.

Hm... im highkey oblivious to people liking me. Like its not even funny. Ive also never had a crush believe it or not. Oh! I love animals, especially birbs and cats! I own two lovely kitties~

Im always worried about talking too much (currently am haha ^^"), being overbearing, rambling about a topic i really love but my friends know nothing about, etc. Again, adhd.

Hope this was enough... and wasn't too much. You can just ignore this if it's either. Like i said im not really sure what is necesary for these but i tried to cover a good range without going too far into detail. Also this is rushed cos i have spanish class in 5 minutes oki thx bye luv ur writing!

[417]

I match you with...

Seven!

Trust can be pretty tricky for you when it comes to getting to know people.

With your friends, it's a little easier to cut back and let loose. But with strangers it's not exactly the same theory since you don't know when it's too soon to say something and you don't know when it's too late to say something. It's hard to gauge when a relationship can continue and move forward when it's been such a long time since you built the ones that you already have. And, you can't quite remember how you did that. However, you know what you love and you are invested in that more than anything else. Sometimes you're more than happy to tell others about it and why it interests you so much, other times you don't want to be bothered when you're deep in the middle of something. For the most part, your goal is to keep peace and make other people happy.

You need someone that is truly forward with what they're trying to say to you rather than playing it low-key. You won't notice otherwise as you said. It's imporant that the person you're with is happy to tell you what they mean when they said and not mixing signals. I think it could be a toss up here between Yoosung and Seven, but in the end, Seven may be the better choice because he can be more direct with you than Yoosung can in regard to feeling. He is right there with, chatting amicably over a subject and easy to keep up with you. You can fixate on one thing and just talk in circle and he's still smiling and interacting with you because he knows what it feels like to be caught up in what makes you feel good.

Seven is also happy to listen to your worries and reassure you of any worries and woes that you may have. He loves to listen and as long as you are with him, he knows that he can do anything so he wants to help you feel that same strength and faith. If you need things to focus on to settle your hands, he's quick to start making little things for you. This man will be awake all night if he gets an idea so you have to keep him in check like he keeps you in check.

#mod kait #mystic messenger #ask #anon #matchup #saeyoung choi

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santaclausdeadindian · 3 years

Text

Sorry for doing it this way, I think OP deleted their post or blocked me like a mature, balanced person would, so I have to tag you in

@mr-laugh

Oh boy, lot to unpack here.

So you didn’t even know there were that many subgenres of fantasy, one of the most popular classifications of fiction on the planet... And you think you know enough to tell ANYBODY what classic fantasy is?

And where exactly I attempted to do that, huh?

If you don’t even know the most common subgenres of this vast pool of fiction, why are you jumping into this discussion? You just admitted you don’t know anything!

There is no discussion, there is a stupid ass post. Don't flatter yourself, you don't know jack shit.

Me not knowing what exactly are the precize subgenres of a genre of literature, which, btw, are completely arbitrary and for your information, sword&magic is a legitimate category, has absolutely nothing to do with what that post you were so keen on agreeing with above. It was you who said pretty much any classic fantasy is like that: some poorly written, self-indulgent and borderline racist.

Did ya read the link, buddy? Howard talked about knowing what burning black man smelled like. He was quite approving of these things! And the books are pretty racist, it’s not hard to see, unless you ain’t looking.

Yes, I started reading and by the end of the first paragraph I was convinced he was ahorribly racist man. And? Still doesn't change the fact, that for my 12 year old self, there was nothing racist about it. I definetly wasn't looking for it, that much you got right. If I'd read it again, I'm sure I'd catch on to it now, that I know what kind of asshole he was. So the implied racism would be there. You got a point for that.

Rugged individualism? It always amuses me how that argument always pops out of the mouths of guys who are aping what they’ve heard their buddies say. If ten thousand mouths shout “rugged individualism”, how individualistic are they?

Then you should amuse yourself by looking up why this thing crops up as of late. It's coming from certain, supremely racist yet unaware of it publications that claim ridiculous shit like "rugged individualism" is a hallmark of white supremacy, among other, equally laughable things, like punctuality. It's a joke.

Again, I will give Howard to you, if someone that racist writes a black man saving the hero of the story, I bet there was something else still there to make it wrong.

Conan’s not some avatar of rugged individualism.

Uhm, yeah, he pretty much all that.

He’s as unreal and unrealistic as the dragons are,

It's called fantasy for a reason, buddy.

but more dangerous because White Men model their ideas of reality on Big Man Heroes like him;

Glad you are totally not racist, yo!!! It's such a relief that White Men are the only ones with this terrible behavior of looking up to larger than life, mythic superpeople and nobody else. Imagine what it would be like, if we would have some asshole from say, hindu indian literature massacering demons called Rakshassas, by the tens of thousands, or some bullshit japanese warlord would snatch out arrows from the air, or a chienese bodyguard would mow down hundreds of barbaric huns without dropping a sweat, or some middle eastern hero would fight literal gods and their magical beasts in some quest for eternal life.

it's a poison that weakens us, distracting us from actually trying to solve the world’s issues, or banding together to deal with shit.

This is what you just said. It's up to the white man, to get their shit together, be not racist and solve the world's problems, because those poor other people's just can't do it. If we would just not be oh, so racist, then China would surely stop with the genocides they are doing now, or blowing more than half the greenhouse emissions into the athmosphere, the muslims would stop throwing their gays from rooftops or ramming trucks into crowds and would just start treating women as equals, India's massive rape problem would be gone, subsaharan African would be magically bereft of the host of atrocities committed there on a daily, yeah, you sure have that nonracism down, buddy!

A rugged individualist would be smart enough to realize that even the most individualistic person needs others; no man’s an island, and a loner is easier to kill.

Individualism doesn't mean at all what you think it means, it's a cluster of widely differeing philosophies that puts the individual ahead of the group or state, it's ranging from anarchism to liberalism and is also has nothing to do with my point.

Central Europe? What, Germany? Because let me tell you, historically they are SUPER concerned about race!

Germany traditionally considered western european, central europe would be the people stuck between them and the russians, to put it very loosely. We are equally nonplussed by the self-flagellating white guilt complex and the woe me victim complex of the west. We did none of the shit those meanie white people did to the nonwhites and suffered everyting any poc ever did and then some. We don't give a shit about your color, we care about what culture you are from and if you respect our values.

I’m an American from a former Confederate state; trust me, race is everything. It always is.

No it really isn't. How old are you? Asking without condescension, genuinly curious, because if you are in your low twenties at most, it's understandable why you think like this.

See that hike? Do you know what happened at that time that made virtually all american media suddenly go all in with racism?

Occupy Wall Street, that's what. It's a brilliant way to sow victimhood and hate and desperation amongst the people who have one common enemy, the powers that be, the banking sector, the politicians, the megacorporations.

Can't really blame you if you are in your early 20's at most, you grew up with this bullshit hammered into you. If you are older, step out of your echochamber please!

If you actually believe, that mankind doesn't progress naturally towards a more accepting society purely on the merit of there being more good people than bad and sharing a similar living with all the hardships in life, seeing that our prejudices inherited by our parents are baseless, that's how we progress, not virtue signalling courses and regressive policies. I was raised as any other kid, I had a deep resentment towards the neighbouring nations, I said vile, racist shit against people who I actually share a lot of genes with, of which fact I was in deep denial about, and then as I gradually got exposed more and more actual people of these groups, I started to realize I was wrong and everybody should be judged by their individual merits. It works throughout the generations, my grandma was thought songs about Hitler and how all jews are evil in school, she legit thought all black people at least in Africa are cannibals and shit, my mother stillsays shit that would get her cancelled in the USA, and I will probably have a mixed race kid as we stand now.

This whole racism is an eternal problem is laughable and disingenuous and I am actually sorry for you that you feel like that.

Moving on. As for Dany, the “noble white girl sold to scary dark foreign man” is a very popular trope, especially in exploitation films, which Martin draws on much more heavily than most authors do.

No, he fucking doesn't. I already wrote a bunch of examples from the books you seeminly ignore willfully. First of all, she is sold to those olive skinned savages by a white man, who is a terrible, increadibly evil man. He want's to fuck the then 11-12 ish Dany so bad, she picks his slave most resembling her and rapes her repeatedly, "until the madness pass." He also maimes children and traines them as disposable slave spies by the hundreds. There is no boundaries colour here, GRRM prtrays all kinds of people as reprehensible, evil and disgusting. Just like you can find plenty of examples to the opposite.

What is he drawing from your exploitation movies exactly? He writes about the human anture, he writes about the human heart at war with itself, that's his central philosophy of writing.

ASOFAI is basically just a porn movie with complicated feudal politics obscuring it, which is probably why it worked so well as an HBO series (up until the last two seasons or so.)

There is no gratuitous sex scene in the books, the rapes are described as rapes, they are horrible, they are very shortly described and usually just alluded to.

The people commiting them are not put into generous lights and one of the single most harrowing stories hidden behind the grand happenings of the plot is a girl named Jeyne Poole, whose suffering although never shown, is very much pointed out, along with the hypocrisy of the people who only fight to try and save her, because they think her a different person.

Honestly, if you actually read the books and they came of to you as porn, you might want to do some soulsearching.Btw, the HBO series was a terrible adaptation, it immedietly started to go further and further from the books with every passing season and the showmakers made it very clear to everybody, that they didn't understand the very much pacifist and humanist themes of Martin. And neither did you.

We also get no indication Essos will eat it when Winter comes; hell, they seem to not know Winter exists, given the way people act, even though that is also unrealistic and weird. Essos was just super badly designed, and Dany is a terribly boring character.

to be continued

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vomara · 4 years

Note

I'm curious of your thoughts on this, if atla took place during modern day (aang still having been frozen in an iceberg for 100 years, the whole storyline still happening etc.) What differences do you think there would be? Especially on the world. How would bending affect their world as well?

hm, this is a really intriguing question. i wrote quite a bit on it, whew -- this clocks out at over 1k words. all under the cut.

i suppose you'd first want to define "the modern world". are we assuming this takes place in our universe, or in theirs, at a point in time where their societies approximately mirror our own? personally, i'm going with the latter -- as much as it might be interesting to set a modern day au in asia, ATLA unfortunately has blended many asian cultures enough to make them inseparable. sticking with the ATLA world with a sort of modern spin is for the best. (it'll also likely be more western, as i am speaking from that particular perspective.)

ATLA itself doesn't take place too long in the past -- from fire nation technology, the show likely takes place only about 200 years prior. this tracks with LoK, which is essentially the 1920s. thus, in this case, aang is born during what approximately appears to be LoK, on the surface, but without republic city.

so, aang lives in the southern air temple, one of the few remaining spiritual havens of the world, and he goes through his early childhood like he did in canon, with barely any differences. he gets declared avatar, he gets upset, he runs away and freezes himself into an iceberg.

the fire nation attacks and wipes out the air nomads soon after. in this world, the fire nation is still imperialist. canonically, ATLA draws parallels between the fire nation to both PRC and WWII imperial japan. while i refuse to directly posit them as one or the other, in this case, they would be more like the latter, with a strong flavor of american imperialism. i suppose the ensuing 100 year war would be a war of attrition, where the fire nation wears at the rest of the nations over the course of decades, slowly gaining colonies, fostering economic dependence, crippling opposing political institutions, nurturing civil war, arming both insurgent groups and tyrannical governments. (in this world, the firelord and the the grand secretariat of ba sing se are on very good terms. but there are whispers that they've recently started to fall apart.)

aang wakes up to a world that looks quite like ours, near the southern water tribe. the SWT in this au is even more of a parallel to inuit and aboriginal cultures. fire nation imperialism has eaten away at their territory, resources, culture, and people. at some point, they started ignoring the SWT, and so in this au, the SWT is very similar to canon, with the exception of maybe a few more pieces of technology. do they have electricity? one generator, powered by water, not enough to provide heating for anyone other than the elderly. do they have phones? two phones, which they charge very, very rarely, and most of the time, they take a rowboat out into the icefields to piggyback their signal from the southernmost reach of the earth kingdom.

the majority of earth kingdom is almost as industrialized as the fire nation, and in the urban areas, slums and skyscrapers stand side by side. omashu, under the rule of king bumi, is a bit better, more like singapore. besides the large urban centers, the sprawling rural areas remain very similar to how they are in canon, with additional technology. they mostly have electricity, phones, and the internet. there is more extensive cultural mixing throughout the earth kingdom. ba sing se, like in canon, is a propaganda state, and they enact this through extensive censorship. even outside of ba sing se, most media is owned by the centralized earth kingdom government (though, again, the exception is omashu). king kuei, like in canon, is only a figurehead, and the monarchy itself no longer has weight in the earth kingdom.

other societies, such as the NWT are also readapted into this world. the NWT is fairly urbanized, but still manages to retain a sense of antiquity. it appears nearly identical to the NWT in canon, and they have little to no electricity -- and yet they thrive, regardless. however, to maintain their own culture, they limit their own access to the outside world. as a result, they are woefully unprepared when the fire nation attack them both by air and water.

overall, the four nations have likely become less discrete, with the exception of the NWT. we currently live in a very globalized world, with significant economic interdependence, so this is just an application of this into ATLA. thus, as aang, katara and sokka travel the earth kingdom, heading north, they meet people of more mixed cultures than in canon.

prince zuko, in this au, is still banished, and it's in disgrace that he receives a rickety, past-century ship, barely retrofitted to the modern era. his father could clearly afford to give him better, but he chose not to. in addition, prince zuko isn't just known throughout the ports, nor is his banishment kept quiet. everyone and their mother can recognize him -- he's been shown on tv since he was a kid. there are rumors on internet forums about why he got banished, some good and some bad. as a result, his presence is more incendiary than in canon. he's practically an underground celebrity. this makes it a lot harder for him to retain anonymity later in the series, and the same can be said of general iroh, although most images of him on the internet and tv are pre-lu ten's death, so most assume he should look younger.

anyway, i could go for a lot longer, but for the sake of brevity, i'll skip to bending. since bending is a natural aspect of the ATLA world, it evolved alongside modernization. however, there are less benders being born nowadays. in the middle of concrete cities, only the toughest earthbenders continue to manifest their bending. in the fire nation, fewer powerful benders are being born. the connection that people have to their own elements have been worn away at by the alienation inherent to modern society. the continued destruction of the environment, and the killing of both badgermoles and dragons contribute to the decline of bending. (this is why toph is even more exceptional in this modern au.)

yet institutions for bending remain. earthbenders still hold earth rumbles, firebenders still challenge others to agni kai. however, bending is more strictly regulated in day to day life. in some cases, the bending energy is redirected from fighting to social productivity -- earthbenders are employed in construction, lightningbenders can work at electricity plants, etc. as aang and katara confront these new applications of bending, they are... confounded. it seems that most benders don't even enjoy their bending anymore; it's simply a tool to them. for aang and katara, who were raised to find joy in their bending, this attitude is stifling. the reason both toph and zuko become aang's teachers, then, is because they defy this bending attitude. for toph, she truly loves bending, as an extension of herself. for zuko, fire lives and breathes alongside him, and within him. their particular style of connection to their own bending make them aberrant, and eventually help place them as aang's teachers.

#SORRY THIS IS SO LONG!!!#atla #avatar the last airbender #atla modern au #mine #text #replies #ask #atla aus and headcanons

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highpriestofpalkism · 4 years

Text

Darkness between Two Worlds -

Prologue

Please, reblog if you like!

"Darkness between Two Worlds: A king isn't enough, we need a god. Cover by: Paolo Bagnato, Made by: Arceus92 (me)"

Rick was looking particularly worried at the computer monitor. There were some rather notable anomalies regarding Titanus Gojira's journey into the North Atlantic Ocean, a few hundred kilometers from their outpost at Castle Bravo, in Bermuda, and he could not understand their nature. Godzilla had been reported in the same place for the past five minutes, and was frantically stirring in the water: his signal dot continued to shake, while the patches of colour around him, which indicated the radioactivity of the area, only became more vivid every second.

«What the fuck does that mean there is a higher level of radiation? And to say that until recently he was swimming calmly! He is moving as fast as he can! I think he is...»

«Rick! You have to calm down, I don't think it's something dangerous...maybe he's taking a tunnel to Hollow Earth...?», Chen replied, starting a list of possible rational solutions to that unusual problem.

«And since when does he become more radioactive if it moves? It only happens when he fires a nuclear beams or is under particular stress... »

«Consider that there is a very strong force five hurricane going near his location, he may have used it to clear the fog or dispel the clouds.»

«But why stand still on the spot wagging your tail? It looks like he's struggling with nothing!»

«It is impossible that he is fighting! There is no known titan nearby, and I don't think he would use atomic rays for simple preys...»

«Whatever. I'm not understanding anything!»

«What do you mean Godzilla is emitting more radiation?!»

Mark intruded into the discussion inside that small computer room: the events of 2019 had shaken him a lot, and, despite having managed to recognize the role of Godzilla within the ecosystem, he had become slightly paranoid after them, and when the titan began to make strange or unusual movements, he immediately panicked.

«Oh well, the hysterical has come...»

«I'm not hysterical! I just want to prevent that...thing from causing other problems!»

«You have to blame the yellow dragon and that ecoterrorist if the other half of the family almost died.»

«...»

Doctor Russel clenched his fists with bitterness.

«Come on, Rick, don't provoke him like this! We have far more important things to deal with.»

«Well, you're not wrong, but this one goes crazy as soon as Goji breathes!»

«"This one"?»

«Rick!»

«Okay okay...»

«Let me see.» Mark moved the chair Rick was sitting on to see the monitor. There was the dot that indicated Godzilla, the radiation around it, and the huge storm marked in yellow that was raging around him.

«Well...apparently that Gonorrhea resurrected»

«You like Sam's expression, huh, Mark?»

«For what he did, a nickname like that deserves it, don't you think?»

«It doesn't seem appropriate to me, actually...», said Dr. Chen, once she got up and moved closer to the two, to better observe the movements of the titan who had already saved the world twice.

«We're just kidding, Ilene!», Mark replied, «Three storms of a death song, the One who is Many, Gonorrhea...all synonyms-»

«Look here!»

The doctor pointed to the screen to signal a sudden movement of Godzilla, who had started moving again with energy after that sudden arrest of a short while ago. Apparently, the furious hurricane seemed to follow him, as the levels of radioactivity rose dramatically. They were proceeding to the outpost. Everyone in the room sweated cold. «I-it can't be...», Mark stammered.

«Ah, shit, here we go again...» «Ghidorah can't be seriously alive!» «Evidently Godzilla forgot a few pieces of Ichi on the street...», Dr. Stanton tried to play down, failing miserably.

«It generates storms in which it hides, it has been fighting with Godzilla for at least ten minutes, it increases the radiation levels...it's obviously him!» «Here I have to correct you, Mark.», replied the doctor. She was rather skeptical about any return of Ghidorah, which seemed impossible given her obvious death in the Battle of Boston. She wanted to find an explanation for that absurd riddle. «This unidentified entity does not emit any type of radiation, unlike the One who is Many or the King himself. We don't even know if it exists or not, if it was a coincidence that the hurricane followed Godzilla...»

«I propose to send a drone there, or even to go there to see what it is. It's all too strange...»

«With a force five hurricane that seems to get stronger with every passing second? No, thanks!», Mark exclaimed, rather agitated by the situation.

«Well, we have to somehow find a solution! All this could become dangerous if we do not intervene!» «Er...Doctor Chen ...»

Rick made a long line of concern mixed with discomfort and doubt, putting a finger on the screen and turning to Ilene.

«...He are approaching...»

«What?»

«The hurricane...is approaching...together with Godzilla...»

«Fantastic! Now let's die in here too!», Mark said desperately, putting a hand on his forehead, massaging it.

«The outpost is storm and hurricane-proof...we are in an area at risk, it is natural that this is the case, otherwise we would not have even built it!»

«Thanks for the story lesson, Dr. Chen, but as you said earlier, we have more important things to think about!»

Doctor Chen looked at Mark a little annoyed by his statements.

«Russel, maybe it's better if we go check it out...»

«We don't talk about i-»

The three jumped into air with fright, when the room was suddenly pervaded by a red light and assailed by a deafening din: it was the alarm. The hurricane was getting closer, and with him, a probably furious Godzilla.

«...Maybe it was better to be more careful with the monitor.» Rick complained sarcastically.

«Ah, everything goes perfectly as you said!»

«I never said that things are going perfectly, Russel...»

«Godzilla will kick our asses, he won't be as kind as he was two years ago!» «Oh, for God's sake, Mark, you're breaking-»

Dr. Stanton's voice was interrupted at the end by the sudden opening of the door of the room in which they were. It was Sam, pale, with immense fear in his face (as usual, I would say), as if a close relative had died, to bring bad news.

«Gentlemen...and madam, I believe you already know what I am going to tell you. G-Godzilla and a force five hurricane are approaching the base-»

«LYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!»

A very high-pitched and bursting scream, which in a few decibels would have broken glass, seemed to pierce the air at full volume, penetrating the ears of the unfortunate listeners. A scream never heard before, which placed fear in the souls of all the present ones.

«W-what the fuck was that?!», Mark exclaimed with his mouth open. «Certainly not Godzilla.»

Dr. Chen imposed herself with her voice, almost reassuringly typical of her. She was the only one who seemed not to be worried about that screaming throat thrown by who knows what: it was curiosity that moved her soul.

«We must go and see. Put on a jacket and let's go upstairs. I am alredy convinced he is fighting.»

«Ehm ... do we have to go?»

«Come on, Sam! We certainly can't sit with our hands!»

«... Ilene is right.»

The mythographer turned her gaze to Mark, almost surprised by his statement; after all, they had been in conflict for a few minutes.

«Can't I stay here?»

«No, Rick, you can't stay here. You will come with us.»

«And-what about me, Dr. Russel?»

«You too, Sam. Put your coat on and let's go.»

Rick got up from his chair, sighing heavily, rather annoyed. He swore in his mind that if it was yet another planetary threat, he would have thrown himself into the ocean. They all did as ordered, some with his times, some with others, and went out, taking the elevator, with the huge head of FeM.U.T.O. which watched them silently from above, attached to the wall of the base, beheaded by Godzilla in the battle of San Francisco in 2014. They arrived upstairs, with the saline ocean water around and the rain that beat wildly and uncontrollably against their clothes and their faces, as well as against the entire structure, against which the waves caused by that immense storm also clashed. Everyone, apart from Sam, who remained in the rear just before them, looked out at the metallic railing facing the gigantic whirlwind, still far but more than visible. The sky was obscured by gray and black clouds, while the turret continued to play the alarm signal.

A beam of blue light came out of the waters, pushing them by force and piercing the sky.

«...Well, there was no doubt that Godzilla was there, I think?», said Mark, in a mixture of fear, sarcasm and surprise.

«That was obvious...but I don't think he became a psychopath, you know! He must be fighting something!»

«Yes, Rick, but what?», Ilene asked rhetorically.

«We'll see-»

Everyone covered their ears again. That majestic and unknown cry, recognized as a battle by now, was issued again: the King of the Monsters came out of the waters violently with something white between the claws. It seemed to have fingers, and as the whole body emerged, thanks to the just dragged back covered with blue scales, it was understood that this was actually a wing. The colossal figure of Godzilla, almost entirely out of the sea by that time, answered the cry of struggle, more than supremely:

«SKREEEEEEOOOOOOOOOONGK!»

Everyone looked with open mouth, more or less terrified, at the titan and that unknown being who moved and rebelled against his grasp, still more than half submerged in the waves.

«What ... what the fuck is that?!»

Rick screamed, to say the least in amazement.

«I-it doesn't look like any of the titans we've identified so far!», Sam allowed himself to scream in the, who had now positioned himself with them on the fence.

Doctor Russel thought, and in this he was not even wrong: «{I have a bad feeling about all this ...}»

-Notes-

I'm not a native English speaker, so forgive me if you find mistakes!

#darkness between two worlds #darkness between two worlds; between pokemon and monsters #darkness between two worlds: prologue #godzilla #godzilla king of the monsters #Pokémon #pokemon #fanfic #fanfiction #godzilla fanfic #pokemon fanfiction

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fancycakedragon · 5 years

Text

Thirst Tweets

Chance Perdomo x Reader, Gavin Leatherwood x Reader

Warning(s): none

A/N: I'm just being self-indulgent.

Masterlist

You were sat between Chance and Gavin as the three of you prepared to film your video. You, Gavin, and Chance had been put together for most of the promotional tour. Your highjinks and playful nature with eachother kept videos entertaining.

Once you were given the signal you introduced yourselves. Chance waved at the camera, "Hi I'm Chance Perdomo."

"Y/N L/N," you said before making a funny face.

"And I'm Gavin Leatherwood. Were from The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina doing-" the three of you drummed your fingers and hands on the table, "-Buzzfeed thirst tweets!"

You looked between the two men, "You guys ready for this?"

"Ask me at the end of this," Chance joked making you chuckle.

"I think Top Boy should go first," you teased passing the jug over to Chance.

Chance dramaticaly mixed all the pieces of paper before pulling one out, "Who do I need to pay for Y/N to step on me?!" Chance looked up at the camera, "She's too nice she'd probably do it for free."

You gasped, "Chance!. . . .You right though."

Chance raised a brow seductively, "Always am."

"Me next." Gavin said doing a little dance in his seat. "In #CAOS Y/N is an all powerfull witch, in real life she's an all powerfull bad bitch. What I'm trying to say is that she can top me anytime."

Chance nodded thougtfully, "That sounds like something you would say Gavin."

Gavin bit his lip and nodded, "There's honestly no point in me arguing."

You laughed shaking your head then proceeded to pick a piece of paper, "I wanna be Y/N's sugar baybay!!!" You looked up at the camera with a pout. "Awh, I'd take care of you but I can barely get myself to properly buy groceries so it wouldn't work out well."

"Next!" Chance repeated his dramatic mixing before picking up another one.

"I hope these aren't all gonna be about Y/N," Gavin commented.

You turned to him with a smug look, "Are you jealous?"

"Only a little." Gavin whispered.

Chance shushed you the two of you, "Gavin, Y/N, and Chance can all like, RAIL ME! #ganggangbang. Ooh saucy."

Gavin laughed, "You guys need some sprite. Quench yo thirst!"

The reading went on for a bit. The three of you poked fun at eachother and even jokingly considered some tweets. Soon there were only two left.

Chance picked them both up and gave you one. He then read the paper in his hand, "On my dream board I have me being the meat in a Chance and Gavin sandwich and Y/N would be the sauce. Just the sauce?" He asked.

Gavin took your hand and gave a light kiss on your knuckles, "Girl, just know you're meat worthy."

You giggled. "That's the most ridiculous pick up line I've ever heard. Anyways, I have the last thirst tweet. Let's finish this off right." You waved the paper in the air before reading, "Gavin leatherwood more like Gavin Leather-my-wood am I rite!!!!" The three of you looked towards the camera in surprise.

Suddenly, Chance plucked the paper from your hand, "I shall be keeping that!"

"Hey no that's mine!" Gavin went to reach for the paper but Chance kept it away.

The two of them wrestled over the paper while you adressed the camera with a laugh, "That's all for Thirst Tweets. The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is out on Netflix. See ya!"

-----

Requests are open.

#chance perdomo #gavin leatherwood #chance perdomo x reader #gavin leatherwood x reader #chance perdomo x you #chance perdomo x y/n #gavin leatherwood x you #gavin leatherwood x y/n #you #y/n #reader #4-18-19 #caos #chilling adventures of sabrina #fanfic #nick scratch #ambrose spellman

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ilkkijangege · 4 years

Text

123

Chad Chronicles is on hold while we work from home.

I'll keep updating this post if anything does happen to us.

Basically, I was telling Jacqui how J*ck told me I should join Tinder, use it during work to find out of he is there and if we would match. But Jacqui was like "what if you don't see him there but his friends see you??" So I was like "Then good na he's not on it 😂 as if he's ever talked about me to his friends 😂"

Then, nearly an hour later, I looked at my "Friends You May Know" on FB (there's a rumor that that is a list of people who's viewed your profile) then I saw that one of his friends are on it!!! I was shook, if the algorithm theory is right, then his friend was stalking me which means he has talked about me to his friends. LOL AYAN NANAMAN OVERTHINKING BES EH 😂

Then Jacqui told me how she asked her bf: if you offer a lift to a girl, does that mean he's interested? Her bf said yes but I shouldn't overthink and wait for another big sign.

Anyways, my Mandalorian plan is still going ahead. 😂

20/3/2020

Well, we didn't really talk online, he welcomed one of the guy on our team because he just got his access sorted today but I did not get the same treatment yesterday 😭

It's G tho 😂 Seems like he really is super smart because I looked into one of his chats and he used the word "futile". I'm just....wow big word 😂

Lol anyways, we're out for the weekend, Disney+ comes out on Tuesday, will try to binge it as soon I can so I can message him by Thursday or something 😂 really hope our conversation can flow naturally. Like I will just say "oh I've finished it and I am now obsessed with Baby Yoda or I can see why you are obsessed with Baby Yoda, he is adorable!" Then hopefully he can be like "What did you think of it?" Etc etc and we live happily ever after. CHOS.

21/03/2020

Swear everyone is telling me to either text him or to keep my feet on the ground and let the connection grow.

I REALLY DO NOT KNOW. He keeps doing all these things to me and I am always overthinking it. My friends have told me not to but it is sooo hard. They told me to wait for other signs.

I really want to take a risk and tell him but I really do not want to ruin our new found friendship. I mean I really hope he's just waiting to make more signs because he doesn't think it's time yet or something but I just don't want to give give give and not have anything in return. Haaaay Lord, please help me!

22/03/2020

This morning, I told my mom about the fact that he drove me home. At first, I couldn't tell her immediately, I was just staring at her the whole time and she asked "Anong kailangan mo sakin?" I said "nothing." "Bakit naka tingin ka sakin?" Then finally, I said, "Wala lang, may update lang ako sayo." Then she was like "ano may date ka???" I replied, "No update!!! Hinatid nya ako kila tita nung last time kaming pumasok.." and she was just like "ayie, hinahatid ka na ha." Then she told me, "yan dapat, cool ka lang. Pero tapusin mo muna.." She didn't complete her sentence but I knew she was talking about my FE1s but then she was probably thinking that I am nearly 25 and she should let me be. Hahaha. Then she asks "nag offer ba xa?" Sabi ko oo 😂

Then she asks me if he texts me and I told her no, we only talk in work. Then she replied, "ganun talaga" 😂 hay mother, if she had asked more details, I would have told her how I am getting mixed signals from him kaya di ko tlga sure kung gusto nya din ako 😂 but she didn't, so let's leave that for another time. 😂

Lord, pleaseee I trust you. If he doesn't reach out to me, ako na tlga mag rereach out. Need to binge The Mandalorian asap.

23/03

He keeps reading my messages on our GC immediately but does not with other people

ANO BA GUSTO MO PARAMDAM KA NAMAN PLS

Happened again at 16;09 ANO BA HUHU

24/03

STOP SEEN ZONING MY MESSAGES AS SOON AS I POST THEM AND START TALKING TO ME

25/03

No sign of Chad life anywhere, he was pretty much quiet today, not reading/replying to messages etc

26/03

I FINISHED THE MANDALORIAN YOU GUYS.

I took a risk and messaged him. It took me a whileeeeee but I just took the plunge.

Basically, I asked him how he was and how working from home has been coming along. It took him like 6 mins to reply, which was fine, we were in work so understandable.

He told me he is relaxed but about to get boring. He asked me ‘how about you?’ So I sent him this quite long response how I’ve been relaxed working in my jammies and binged watch Mandalorian, bummed about 2 eps so illegally streamed the rest. Told him that I am now also obsessed with Baby Yoda (he laughed react to this). Then he said how it was dumb for Disney not to release everything at once. (Was upset he didnt ask me what I thought of the show)

Then I told him if Netflix can do it, so can they. But he said people would just sign up for trial, watch it then cancel. Thennnn he asked if I liked it. I said yes except for Ch.6′s characters. He said he thinks you were not meant to like them.

Then I asked him if he thinks Fennec Shand is still alive. He was like which one was HE again? So I told him correction she* (laugh emoji) then explained her character. He was like ‘Oh yeaaahhh. Then boba fett was supposedly the one who found her” I replied ‘yup that’s the theory but I feel like she was pretty much lifeless already and maybe just a teaser for boba fett then?'

Then nearly 3 hours later, I go check our workplace chat and he seenzoned me. Okur. He read the message at 20.27. He better reply tomorrow or I’ll take it a sign that he really just isn’t interested in me.

On a side note, he went on lunch at 6pm, came back at around 7ish but didn't change his Status xD it's either he forgot or na distract na sya sakin CHOS sige laaaangg.

I swear I hope we can talk more tho. Since he seenzoned me, I will not message him again cos I don't want to look eager/desperate so yeah. Byeeeeee.

30/03

STOP READING MY MESSAGES, dear heart and head, STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM.

I know you get notifications that "Bianca messaged..." Does your heart flutter when my name appears? STOP OVERTHINKING BIANCA.

Ayan nnmn tayo sa seenzone eh 14:55. Ano ba?

1/04/20

I had a dream that he messaged me. He asked me how I was and for some reason, he told me to go to Google Music because they were having a sale and that I should make a track for him. (Like what?)

Also dreamt that he took me home again. When we got to our house, he told me we needed to talk. I think he confessed.

Ay ayoko na.

5/4/20

Why do I keep dreaming about him? I dreamt that he messaged me on FB, really long paragraphs of him confessing his feelings.

Urgh.

Oh and I also paid for a tarot reading of how he really sees me. I mean idk if it's real but there are feelings there but there may be a third party but the reader could not 100% confirm it. It is highly probable, he's a single man who could totally date around. The reading also mention how he finds me attractive and sees a long term energy with me. It also says how he may not be ready for a serious romantic relationship but he can see it progressing down the line. But honestly, I do not see him as someone who longs for sex, yknow? I am nearly sure that he could still be a virgin but the fact that he frequented Krystle in college, makes me question it. I mean, he is a white male, it is something I am not super pressed about.

I've just been thinking, if I were to get with a Filipino guy, is there anyone out there who has never had a girlfriend or who has even dated anyone?

Chad really gives me the vibe of never having a girlfriend before but I really see him as not looking for anything at the moment to focus on his dream job.

6/4/20

Okay, why did I have a dream that he proposed to me??

I think we argued over something and then a few days later, he proposed. Wtf.

From what I remember, he only proposed in his car. lol

8/4/20

So we had a team call today. He has not been working since like Thursday last week because he could not get his VPN to work.

But dang. I heard his voice after 3 weeks. He sounds the same as in real life but his American accent is more prominent 😂

Then our TL said we might still be working from home for the next 3-4 months and I'm just like. HUHUHU.

Will I be over you by then?

10/04/20

Had a dream we were back in the office and we were having banters again like nothing has changed.

I think he also messaged me on Facebook one of these isolation days...

I swear I know it was probably unintentional for him to ghost me like that.

11/04/20

So I've been searching his Gamer tag on Google, even before I decided to let go of him and there is this one file I keep noticing, it is League of Legends and it seems his password is Yugioh246 😂 it is actually hilarious 😂 I didn't know he is that big of a nerd. I don't see it as a bad thing because I like nerds and I am drawn to them but I hope he is not an incel because that is a major turn off.

Yes, I am not wishing for us to be together anymore but I really hope he finds the woman of his dreams. He deserves to have someone who will understand him for who he is.

13/04/20

Another thing, how do I listen to songs without thinking of him?? It is getting frustrating. I used to listen to these songs without thinking of him and now all I do is associate these songs to him. Nakakainis.

14/04/20

Why do you keep reading my messages then stop reading others' after mine??

18/04/20

Argh why did I dream of him again?

We were back in the office daw and I sat in a different computer because I was avoiding him as in. For some reason, the coat rack was behind him so when it was home time, I grabbed my coat as fast as I could so he would not talk to me. He was slouched in his seat and looked really tired. His hair was long like mid length sufer dude hair, he was not wearing his hat. But then he saw me and called me and said "Bianca, I'll give you a ride home." I replied, gaga naman ate nyo, "If it's not raining, I can walk but if it is, I'll take the bus." He replied, "What time is your bus?" I replied, "In an hour." He replied, "Okay, if it's raining, I'll wait for you here, let me know." Then I grabbed my stuff from my locker, I went out the office and it was raining. I went back into the office and told him that it was raining. So he got up from his seat and we walked to his car. On the way, I noticed he looked really tired and his eyes were red so I asked him, "Did you not sleep?" His reply was: "Yeah I came to work with no sleep." So we just walked to his car and he opened the door for me. He even adjusted my seat.

Then for some weird reason, we ended up in Dolphins Barn, like the flats and around Tesco. Then there were billboards for Book of Mormons and he saw it he said or read "What about the Mormons?" Then I was confused at first so he pointed at the ads for the Book of Mormons. Then I told him: "Oh I really wanna see that! I heard it's meant to be one of the best Broadway shows." He then tells me he is not a big play fan but there is something he likes. I asked him but he saw another Book of Mormons billboard and pointed to it. Then we reached Reilly's Ave and idk why but my whole family and our old neighbors were all outside. Bsta ang weird talaga na he dropped me off in our old house. Dreams are weird.

So I just thanked him and watched him leave.

Aish why did I dream of you again???

20/4/20

Had another dream about him. Just why oh why? What are these dreams trying to tell me? I haven't been thinking about him seriously so idk.

Basically in this dream, we were all back in the office. So we got a few newbies who joined our team. And management/TL thought it was a good idea to blend the newbies with the senior agents so there was a complete seat change again. Chad and the guy beside him moved to my old area, as in Chad moved to my old seat. While I was stayed in my current seat. Of course I felt sad that I won't be able to see him face to face as often anymore and that I felt like our friendship will drift apart again.

Basta ano baaa I don't understand this. Do I still have feelings for him deep down?

Oh and he read my message on the group chat again. 10:18am. I mean ok he's been active on the UKI chat today so here's me overthinking again.

23/04/20

Another day, another Chad dream.

So in this dream, I was in Tesco with my mom or Aldi, anyways a supermarket.

I wanted to make Tacos so I was at the spice aisle, looking for a taco spice mix. Then out of nowhere, he pops up and sees me. Says hello and asked how I was etc, while I was grabbing the taco spice mix.

Then I told him goodbye but I still kept seeing him everywhere in the store even though I purposely was avoiding him.

WHY DO I KEEP DREAMING OF HIM.

It is honestly annoying. 😭

I just wanna move on.

27/04/20

Been a while since my last dream but I dreamt that he drove me home, yet again, but I only remember the part where we entered Cherrywood and then I just got out of the car and don't even remember saying thanks. I stood at the front door, until he left.

28/04/20

Arghhh he read my messages again on the office chat almost instantly at 2.37pm 😩😩😩😩 Whereas our own team's chat has been active all day, yet he has not read the messages on there since yesterday morning!!

Were you expecting that I messaged you or something??? CMON IF YOU WANNA TALK TO ME JUST MESSAGE ME. I already messaged you first, it's your turn.

Ugh I hate overthinking this!!

Also, 26th of April marked the 1st month since we last talked. Hmmmm have I fully moved on? I really don't think I have but I am just trying to live my life. Why must you be an introvert Chad, we'll be waiting for each other forever.

6/05/20

Hmmmm... Beginning to think he actually has 3 siblings contrary to the fact that I thought he said there are 3 of them in the family, him being the eldest, followed by his sister then his younger brother.

If it is his brother that I saw on FB then it makes sense now because remember when he gave out chocolates for Christmas? I heard him say "my brother's work had them on sale" or something along the lines. And the other brother I was aware of was only a kid. This person I saw matches the bill, from Chicago and went to the same secondary school as him. (AND LOOKS LIKE HIM!!! We may be the same age or a year younger because he graduated secondary school in 2014) [yup he is older than me by 6 months and just like his older brother, he is also very much into Star Wars and video games. But he seems more social than his bro. Haha xa na lang date ko 😂 Chad 2.0 chosss Chad introduce me to your bro para di tayo awkward sa work 😂 They are actually only 10 months apart, I wonder if they are close.]

Hmmmmm why am I such a stalker 😂

(7.6 update: nah saw his bro's IG and he seems like a fckboi, his DP is a mirror selfie of him shirtless, showing off his v line abs 😂)

13/05/20

It's been a while. As of yesterday, he is fully back to work. We had a team meeting on Monday and he was on it. He said they gave him a laptop to work on. I had myself on mute so I was just listening to him. Yes I wanted to join in on the convo but I needed to stop myself. I need to distance myself until I fully move on from him.

Anyways, today, a case was assigned to me at around 8.30 in the morning. I didn't action it because the office was going mad with chats so I said I was gonna action it when I had a chance later on.

Then I noticed that it disappeared from my queue. I went to my closed cases and I saw that he had actioned it. I mean, I am not saying that he did it on his own free will, our TL may have asked him to go through our team's response received internal queue. Which is aight but this case was not originally mine, but one of his office broskis, na mean? So it's either he did not read the email thread at all or he just decided to close it in MY name. I mean he had to type my name and I wonder if he felt something. CHOSSSSSS 😂

But I'm telling you guys, ever since he got access again, my heart started fluttering again just like when I was still crushing on him, before I moved in front of him and he started giving me all these attention that made me fall in love with him.

I have been trying to move on. I even wrote a 7 page journal entry about my feelings. I've been super distracting myself by watching Kim Possible and staying away from sappy romantic shows 😂

I need more time to heal but it will be okay!

Update 14/5:

I got another case from the same broski, which he actioned yesterday and closed it under his broski's name but he closed the other one on mine.

Ugh why am I overthinking this again!!!

Chad please go away from my feelings 😩

15/5

Today, I helped him out with one of his cases.

He said 'thanks!' whereas the past few days, he's only been replying to people on our team with 'ty!'.

Made me overthink again but I was just being ridiculous 😂 'ty' tapos today sakin 'thanks', special ako chos 😂 honestly wasn't that bothered but okay! Stop giving me special treatment please 😂 don't treat me differently from others if you don't feel the same way because it's unhealthy for me 😂

Helped him again with another one and he said 'thanks!' again urgh. Swear tho, I was hesitating a bit when I was helping him. My heart was thumping again like it did before we started getting comfortable with each other 😭😭😭

17/5/20

Exactly 2 months since I saw him and when he dropped me home.

Oh Chad. Will I ever be over you.

18/5/20

Helped him with another case because no one was helping him so I was just being nice.

Bianca don't be marupok pls. You've been making progress. Don't relapse now.

20/5/20

Another day of helping him out....

Basically he asked our group chat for help, no one replied for like 5 minutes so I said I'll help him.

Then he private messaged me about the case. He told me there were a lot and said "ahah". I should have joked around but I didn't or even asked him how he was 😭

But after I helped him, this was his reply:

Huhuhu parang ang happy nya na may tumulong sa kanya. Chad naman, don't do this to me! I am trying to move on 😭

21/05/20

Haaaayy... Reading my messages again as soon as I post them. Chad Chad Chad ....

26/05/20

He legit have not read messages on our office GC since 10.30 this morning. I messaged a few times around 3pm and he kept reading them. Ano ba kasi Chad.

Don't be scared of rejection, I know I may not be showing real signs but I am an awkward turtle, just talk to me.

27/05/20

As usual no one was helping him again so I private messaged him and asked if anyone was helping yet.

His response:

Hahaha cute 😂 so I told him 'give me the deets, I'll send it up'.

He said 'ty!!', gave me the deets.

Then when I completed it, this was his reply:

Hahaha naloka na xa, double a. Choss. I replied with "anytime 😊" 😂 para konti landi to let him know na I am here to help anytime HAHAHAHAHAHAHA chos

BAKIT HIRAP MAG MOVE ON MGA BESH

5/6/20

So I've been hesitating about posting this but about 2 days ago? I had a dream about him again. It wasn't just him in it but the dream mostly centered about him and I.

Basically, we there was a party in the office and for some reason, I was getting ready at my desk as in curling my hair (so weird 😂😂😂).

Then Chad decided to go out of the computer area, probs was on a break or something. Then my team decided it was a good idea to hide his baby yoda plushie so I hid it in my locker and when he came back, he kept looking for it and we were just laughing at him. 😂

That was it haha.

But you guys, I've been diligently praying for my vocation and I've been getting signs about marriage etc. What if he's the one? God, please give me more signs.

15/06/20

So it's been a while. I've been helping him here and there over the last few weeks.

Today's response was "awesome, thanks!"

And that made me kilig inside. 😂

I am awesome, chos! 😂

16/06/20

Just saw the July Schedule and he is taking 2 weeks holidays 😂

Lol fam watchu gonna do? 😂

Tara let's go on a date chos 😂

24/06/20

I miss him ☹️ But I've been good with not thinking about him a lot but I just really can't wait to be able to ask him out in person hahaayyyy

Hmmmm I also suddenly wondered if he still has the card I gave him for Christmas. That was a cute card, €4 din un ha hahaha

3/07/20

Yo wassup.

I had a dream, so we were back in the office. We were on the weekend shift and for some reason, I decided I was staying back for a bit more so he left before me.

Basically, from this dream, it seems that we were on minimal speaking terms. So like as he was leaving, at the computer area door, he said bye to me and idk why, I asked him to have dessert with me on Monday 😂 it was weird 😂

12/07/20

Okur, I had a dream that he dropped me off again in Cherrywood, like just out of nowhere. Like all I remember was that we were walking to his car together.

He even opened my door and carried my bag and walked me to the front door. Haaayyy....

14/07/20

So today, I was overthinking again.

Basically there was a post in work where an SME asked him to tag his team. He tagged me first over his broskis and that made me quite overthink again. Like the way he tagged our team was not as if it was alphabetical order. So why did he tag me first?

Hahah ako ung unang pumasok sa isip nya

Huhuhu ayoko naaaaa

19/07/2020

So he is on his 2 weeks PTO from tomorrow.

Haaaaayyyyy miss ko na xa, bakit ba kasi ako ganito. Pero as long as he has not said that he is not interested in me, may chance pa rin tlga kami eh.

Wag lang tlaga xang umalis ng company and it will be grand.

08/08/20

Been a while since this was updated, nothing's been happening between us so there is nothing to report. But anyways, lately I've been having (r-rated) fantasies about him 😂 argh I just want to be with him 😂

He's also started playing Fall Guys on the PS4, we have something in common na chos 😂

Also, there's an SME position in work and I have a feeling he might apply huhu if he gets it, he'll be level 12 and I won't be able to date him 😭😂

Honestly still think may something sila ng QA namin huhuhu

16/08/20

So I told MF on the 14th of August about everything that has happened, like how I was getting mixed signals that made me overthink alot to me messaging him twice and being left on read, also how I plan on asking him out when we get to the office. (Also how he dropped me home.)

I told her how it's been very hard for me in the last 5 months, trying to move on from someone I don't even talk to. She was very understanding and told me that she also has not talked to Chad since WFH, as she was also left on read. She said he may not be the texty type because he's quite shy.

I was honestly shook. I thought they talk, even on our workplace chat because they are close in work. Cause I asked her if it was even a good idea for me to ask him out or if she knows if he's seeing someone because I don't want to intrude. I told her I want to take a risk with him but a part of me fears rejection.

She asked me if I ever thought about asking him out for coffee since things are opening up. I told her, yes but I don't think we are in that level where I could just ask him randomly.

So her plan is to build up a rapport with him again and find out the goss. I really hope she can build something up with him and that if ever, this time, there will be progress.

Until I know I have a chance with him, I can't move on. If he's seeing someone, then okay at least I'll know where I stand.

I'll let you know if there's progress.

19/08/2020

So today, I helped him out with a case.

One of the internal tools was not working for him so he asked for help. I was the first to reply so I told him to send me the details and I'll do it.

When I did it for him, he said 'Perfect thank you!' and I just replied, "No worries 😊" landi landi with that emoji 😂 Wish we kinda had a conversation going though 😭 Wish I asked him how he was but it wasn't appropriate okay 😂

Haaayy can't wait to find out if he's dating anyone or when I'll see him again so I can ask him out. HAAAAAYYYYSSSS.

9/9/20

So yesterday, I asked our group chat for help on a case. I didn't really expect that he would be the one to respond but he did and that was cute. Awww. ❤️

Looool I wish I could've thanked him personally but other people started helping me out so yeah. But for a brief moment, I was kilig haha

Really wanna ask him out already! But cases are rising again and I don't want him to use Covid as an excuse so I'll wait again until cases have slowed down.

13/09/20

So today, I had a video call with MF. She told me that she got a new job 😭 meaning, she won't be able to be my wingwoman now 😭

I am happy for her but this cuts down all my chances with Chad 😭

But she did talk to Chad and he applied to the SME role apparently, I think he may have already been interviewed but he didn't hear back from them yet.

MF also said that we should meet up for a coffee date "with Bianca" and he said we should hahaha cmon MF make this a reality please so I can talk to him 😭

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