#I do not touch those with a ten foot pole | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jensettermandu · 3 months

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-𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣, 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚-

-𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙙𝙤𝙡𝙡-

1.4

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𝘨!𝘱 𝘫𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘦 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

content warning; MDNI, morally grey characters, toxic relation/situationships, domestic abuse, violence, substance use/abuse, mentions of weight/toxic beauty standards, dubcon, a lot of smut (spitting, spanking, bondage, choking, rough sex, etc. appears), age gap (legal), mentions of sensitive topics, not made for glorification of toxic relationships.

wc; 16.8k+

a/n; dubcon aka drunk sex and coercion in the following chapter

[Present]

Jennie tried not to care, she tried to just go on and pretend that she didn't care because she knew that she shouldn't. What she had been living for was mindless sex, she had never looked for anything more than to wet her dick and be on with her life. She had done everything, said I love you, I need you, I care for you, I only want you, and no one ever needed to know whether or not it was true. There was no happiness in her life, not lasting happiness, the temporary was always there. It was all gone now though.

She felt useless, she felt like a loser and she blamed it all on the vixen who walked back into the room.

Y/n threw her phone onto the bed and got on it, Jennie was busy on her phone as Y/n crawled over to the older woman.

"Why do you look so angry?" She questioned as there was a small frown on Jennie's eyebrows and she didn't look up from the phone neither did she answer. The younger girl made it over to Jennie's lap and straddled her. Her eyes scanned the woman who was ignoring her. She had always found her attractive, she loved the sex Jennie provided, and she also liked those sweeter sides of her, but aside from that her personality got rotten at times. Y/n wasn't pointing fingers, she knew she was no better if she was cheating.

It did make her feel better to know that Jennie was just as horrible. Y/n could feel herself fading right into Jennie and the person that she was. It just started to happen.

"Is it about condoms?"

"The marks?"

"Was I too big of a bitch for your fragile ego?"

"Not letting you take a picture?"

"Or because I said that I wasn't going to fuck you more tonight? Could change..."

Jennie sure was good at ignoring her and giving her the cold shoulder. It didn't hurt Y/n, it irritated her because she knew that Jennie then would come out of nowhere and expect everything.

She leaned in, her lips trailing her ear as she grounded down on Jennie's cock that was stirring to life the second the girl had come to her lap. Jennie was waiting for whatever dirty words she would start spewing, but it didn't turn out how she had hoped–

"You're jealous."

It was a conclusion drawn and it sounded bizarre in her mouth, but it was the only thing that seemed to get the older woman's attention as she looked up from her phone and Y/n pulled back.

"I'm jealous? Of who?" She scoffed and Y/n hummed, running her fingers to Jennie's clavicle that was covered by her shirt. She ran her fingers up, trailing her nails along the side of her neck until she reached her jaw.

"Asher."

Y/n winced, that harsh and familiar grip she had become a victim of multiple times now came to her wrist. It happened in bed, but also outside the bed with no intentions for it to be sexual. It didn't feel fair as Jennie was ten times stronger, Y/n was only 4 inches taller, half a head and always felt in need to submit to her when Jennie used all her advantages on her.

"Of what? His girlfriend is cheating on him, why would I be jealous of being cheated on? He doesn't even have a big enough dick for you to feel good. He can't even touch me with a ten-foot pole because I stand so fucking tall before him." She turned off her phone, her tone held a warning to it. Y/n had tested that tone times before, she ended up losing her voice because of how they started to shout at each other.

"By an inch, don't let it get to your head."

"I'm 6.3. Inch and three." She murmured.

Y/n rolled her eyes, Jennie's fingers digging into her waist where she held the girl. It seemed like her most prized thing was her 6.3-inch dick and Y/n never bothered to ask why she was so specific about it. The woman was a true loser. It made it even harder for Y/n to understand why she was staying. Maybe because they had become so alike that she barely saw a difference between them anymore. Neither of them was better than the other.

"You know, he maybe can't touch you with a ten-foot pole, but that also applies to you when it comes to me because this is all you get and the second I am with him or talk to him you get like this. That's jealousy if I ever saw it."

"Wanna know something?" Jennie asked and licked her lips, looking up at the girl in her lap. Her hand let go of Y/n's waist and she reached up to the collar of her shirt, bunching it up and pulling her closer. The two of them could hear the threads snapping from the movement that stretched the material.

"What?" Y/n's tone wavered as she looked Jennie right in the eye, being a few inches away. Her breathing was now less shallow as the fears Jennie knew how to work on her were coming to light.

"I own you, I own you because your whole relationship depends on what I do to you."

Y/n's jaw clenched at those words, knowing that Jennie had all the proof she needed to ruin her relationship. She was stuck in the middle, in a place where she had to make a choice but couldn't even if she knew that the right thing was to come clean and break up with Asher and leave Jennie too.

She hadn't been able to come up with a good enough excuse and she was letting it drag out just for that reason even if she knew that there never would be a good enough reason. He was too good for her. It was a conflict she never should have become part of and now she was stuck with Jennie blackmailing her.

No. Y/n never sent her anything with her face in it or with something that would be able to tell that it was her like any part of her bedroom aside from the plain white sheets.

It didn't mean that Jennie didn't do things without her consent.

She should have known better that the woman would at some point record her committing these sinful crimes, that she would catch Y/n in the City of Sins where she was drowning in her lust and selfishness.

Y/n couldn't do anything, not even take legal action because it would all just backfire.

This was Jennie Kim.

Y/n was too scared to break things off even if she didn't want to. All these reasons to leave, but she still couldn't do it, it seemed like she only needed one to stay and it wasn't even the video that forced her into staying. It was Jennie whenever she wasn't an asshole.

She glanced at the phone that was beside them on the bed, Jennie catching it and a smirk plastered itself on her lips at the fact that she did own the girl in her lap. Y/n couldn't leave her unless she wanted Asher to leave too. She would be left all alone if that happened.

Y/n hated being left and alone.

Jennie clearly remembers the girl saying it herself.

"I could delete that one video–completely and not leave a trace of it anywhere. That freedom would feel amazing, wouldn't it Y/n?"

In the end, Y/n always got the short end of the stick with Jennie. She was always the one mocked by the end of the night. She was stuck at a point in her life where life wasn't as enjoyable anymore. Jennie had made it hard and she only had herself to blame. It went away though, it went away with the pills and alcohol and she somehow still dragged herself through school.

Y/n's life was crumbling apart because she had cheated and continuously was. It was crumbling apart because she was fading into Jennie and her lifestyle. Slowly it ate her and at some point, there would be nothing left. She would be all that Jennie was, wouldn't she?

"For what?" It was always a bargain as their eyes gazed into each other. Jennie let go of the girl, her numb fingers coming back to life as the woman fixed her shirt. She leaned in and left a peck on her cheek and Y/n closed her eyes as she grabbed hold of Jennie's shoulders who started to kiss down her neck. Her lips were soft, their touch lingered and tingled her skin, feeling how her toxins seeped through her skin to nestle itself deep within Y/n. It had been going on for so long that without those toxins her body didn't feel right. It was so messed up, wasn't it? Despite not thinking about Jennie, all her body could do was go through withdrawals without Jennie around.

"I already have your dignity don't I? How about you break up with him?"

She quickly grabbed hold of Y/n's wrists again as the girl tried to pull away when Jennie's lips wrapped around the skin. "Fucking stop." It meant nothing. This time she sucked hard and the more Y/n tried to pull away the more trapped she got when Jennie moved forward and pinned her down on the bed with her arms pinned beside her head. The squirming did nothing as her chest heaved while Jennie trailed wet kisses all over the thin skin before she bit down at the juncture between her shoulder and neck.

"I didn't hear you say yes, star," Jennie mumbled and slowly pulled away, her eyes looking at the harsh two marks on the girl–at the juncture and pulse point.

"I'm not fucking breaking up with him, asshole." Y/n spat out and looked at Jennie with a scowl. The way her heart was beating felt uneven, it was the effect of Jennie, it was like drugs and Y/n wanted nothing more than to quit. The longer they stared each other in the eye the more she knew she grew attached and addicted though. She hated the way Jennie looked at her, the way she stared into her eyes, all Y/n wanted to do was push her away every time she did. Jennie wasn't allowed that, she had no place in Y/n's home to look at her that way.

Jennie was the one who started it. She was the only one doing it.

"He might enjoy the video of you sucking dick in the bathroom with your eyes all red from how fucked on drugs you were...His sweet little girl is far from the perfect angel she tries to be."

It was one stupid night where she had lost all sense of awareness. Now it felt like everything depended on it.

It wasn't like that—it was exactly like that, but it used to be different.

She'd smoke weed now and then and took molly on certain occasions such as festivals. She had tried her fair share of everything, but she had never done it in a way that became routine. The same way Jennie became a routine. It was all destroying her life and she had lost the ladder after the fall.

She wasn't the girl Asher had fallen in love with, that person was buried and Y/n had no clue where. She would dig up her corpse if she knew where she died, but the vixen had no clue. It left her with this new star. The one that was far from who she used to be.

"Fuck me." Y/n finally spoke up and Jennie raised her eyebrows at the request, her dick throbbing in response. She just wanted to forget once again and she could when the brunette was pounding her. All those fears and worries went away because there was nothing to worry about when there was no one to judge. What was seemingly meaningless sex was what her life was becoming. "Fuck me however you like, but just do it."

Jennie had managed to break her down, there was only so much the girl could take when she was in her chokehold. At some point, she would have to beg Jennie to let her breathe. She had almost broken her to the core and Y/n's put-up walls crumbled as it was hard to keep up with her life that was constantly pacing.

"Where's the limit?"

"I don't have it aside from protection, more hickeys, or questionable bruising."

Jennie didn't like any of those limitations, but she took what she could.

[Summerfest]

"Y/n, stop," Asher said and pulled her away from him as the girl was trying to pull him down to reach his neck as her head reached to his shoulders. Her hands were at the hem of his pants and before she could reach any further down he grabbed hold of her hands. She frowned, confused about why he was pushing her away when she wanted to give him what they had fought about.

"What is it now?" She whined, being held back from touching him in any other way.

"You're high again, you can't be on E every day." He seriously spoke and Y/n rolled her eyes.

"I'm not on E, come on." She reasoned as she wasn't on ecstasy and he frowned.

"What then?"

"Doesn't matter, but I want you." It truly didn't matter as every day was something different, or she was mixing. Anything as long as it pulled her through her days.

He exhaled deeply and held her hands down when they tried to come back up to him. He didn't fail to notice the look of hurt on her face. It was enough to make him feel terrible, but he couldn't do it.

"You know that I'm not comfortable with doing anything like this in public, baby." The older guy didn't get the response he thought he would get from his girlfriend. The understanding that he always got because that was what she was. What he received was a roll of her eyes filled with annoyance as she pulled her hands out of his light grip and leaned back against the stall. Not taking notice of his hurt, her mind was racing with other things.

"Do you not love me anymore? Or am I not fucking hot enough or what the fuck is it, Ash?" Y/n threw the questions at him, growing insecure over her boyfriend not wanting what he had been complaining about. It didn't make sense if everyone else would throw themselves at her–she'd ignore them aside from one person–but he wouldn't.

"It's not that–"

"Oh my God, then what is it? You are the one pushing me away. I don't understand this distance."

Y/n knew she was being immature, but only she could know that because only she knew that she was cheating and having these fights with her boyfriend. Jennie knew too, but she didn't know what they looked like. The distance between them no longer made any sense when he was the one making it and not her. She didn't want it unless she was the one who needed it. Only Y/n was supposed to put distance and then pull right back. She hated it when someone pushed her away. It made her scared.

Her life was falling to ruins.

She only had herself to thank for it.

"I think we're in a new place in our relationship, one we haven't been to before and it's not a good phase either...I think we should work it out instead of solving it with sex because that's just a temporary solution."

She didn't like those words at all. All in all, she hoped he would break up with her before he found out, but once those moments came her heart picked up and she got anxious. What he had just said was enough to make her anxious because if they stayed in this place in their relationship, he would most likely leave her. She wanted it, but she also didn't want it. How would she live alone? What if Jennie left too? Y/n was supposed to leave her and stay with Ash.

She hated when someone was about to leave or she thought they were going to, it made her self-destruct and do everything in her power to push them away before they could even try to leave.

"No, that's not—it's not like that at all. You are the one making it difficult when it could be easy. I am right here to solve it, Ash."

"You're not Y/n, you're high and you want sex. I already said no. You're not solving it, you're just going to fuel it further this way and I don't want that for us. Let's just talk it all out when we get back home."

"But–"

Y/n tried to argue about it, she didn't want to wait for him to possibly break up with her once they would be back home.

"Please, baby, I love you and only want this to work out the best for us."

It brought her no reassurance. What if he was lying to make her feel better for now to not ruin her week? Why couldn't he just grab the devil's horns and force it to work instead of trying to find a peaceful way in a warzone?

"Just enjoy the week and I am here if you need anything else."

Y/n walked past him, unlocking the stall before leaving through it. It pissed her off, he always let her walk away, he never did anything to make it work right away but gave it time. She didn't need that. She needed much more than that. What she needed was for someone to just take the lead because she lost it when she had it—someone to decide when she was grounded and when she wasn't. She wanted someone to control everything for her because she never had any control.

Her phone buzzed as she walked out of the bathroom, making her take it out from the black purse before she pushed the sunglasses over her eyes. Her heart was pounding, her body was hot and her energy was up tenfold.

It felt like the only people who checked on her, cared about her and asked where she was were her friends, not her boyfriend and then–

10:12 P.M. Where are you?

Jennie always seemed to care. Y/n knew it wasn't right, but at least she had Jennie's attention on her. She at least asked her where she was, with whom and what she was doing. She wasn't stupid, she knew what Jennie was–it was as if she was some possession to the woman. It was better than nothing. It was what the girl needed. It made her feel better for whatever reason even if she tried to make her change this morning deeming her clothes too revealing if she was going with a boyfriend who couldn't protect her. Maybe it was the thought that counted.

She had never needed that type of control, but she had grown used to it because of the woman and felt lost without it. It was hard to make these decisions on her own now. Jennie had her in such a hold that so much depended on her and Y/n had no clue when she gave her that control. She never did, Jennie just took it.

10:13 P.M. Leaving

10:13 P.M. Could pick you up There's a private after-party if you want to come with me I'd like that

Y/n agreed this time as Jennie had offered for her to come with her multiple times, but she always declined because she was with her friends and Asher. Not this time. She wanted out before she got too deep into that melancholy she had been running away from for the past months. There was no way that Y/n would face it, she would run and run, those burdens would become bigger and at some point, a tsunami of her problems would crash over her. It would destroy everything more than it already was, but there was no way she would face anything willingly.

She was already living with the fact that she was a cheater and unable to leave someone who was no good for her.

"What the fuck is it now?" Was the first thing Jennie asked when the girl got into the car with so much attitude still lacing her that it knocked the air out of Jennie's lungs. Y/n huffed and removed her purse as she turned to Jennie, pushing her sunglasses to the top of her head. It was as if she only came to her because she needed someone to put her in her place and Jennie would gladly do that. If she didn't, she would explode.

"I'm sorry, did I get in the car in a way you didn't like?" That was mocking. Jennie knew that.

She sucked air through her teeth as the car started to move. "I don't need you to have an attitude with me when I've been nothing but nice."

"I'm not having an attitude with you. I am genuinely asking you what the problem would be if I just got into the car, Jen. Want me to get the fuck out and enter again?" Y/n snapped, it was routine with Jennie. It was what their relationship built on and it was what worked even if it wasn't working. Even if it wasn't a relationship. It at times felt almost as time-consuming and attention-grabbing as one. She wasn't Asher in the end, and maybe that was what made it so good. Whatever emotions Y/n already felt, Jennie always made them so much stronger, so anger came easily too.

Jennie inhaled deeply before exhaling through her nose.

"Come here." Her tone wavered as she breathed the words out, and she grabbed hold of the girl's thighs. The two were separated with a divider from her driver. The vixen didn't question anything when Jennie pulled her closer before making her lay down. Y/n raised her knees to have space for her long legs on the seat.

"What did you take?" She asked with a hum, running her fingers along the girl's cheek who fell a hundred floors of attitude, landing right in Jennie's lap who was on her knees on the car's floor since it was spacious. Not only was it spacious, but the girl was worth going down on her knees for.

"Coke like 20 minutes ago," she mumbled, finding herself melting into the touch that she needed. The care and attention that Jennie provided her even if it was in the worst ways possible when she reached into her back pocket. At least she gave her what she needed. It was what Y/n needed, and what Jennie wanted. She hadn't grown addicted to drugs, she had grown addicted to Jennie who had pulled strings like a puppet master just to have control even if the puppet tried to be its own person at times. It was Jennie's poison she had grown addicted to because whenever she tried anything else there was a possibility of leaving, Jennie didn't let that happen.

"You'd almost think I'm religious." She leaned in and pecked Y/n's lips after showing the cross-coke necklace. "It's pure and better than anything else you've tried before, whether with me or someone else." She mumbled, giving her plump and glossy lips another peck before licking off the taste of vanilla that they left on her. Y/n hummed, the coke she had taken was already wearing off and there was Jennie always having everything she needed at the palm of her hand.

Jennie knew that.

Jennie knew what she was doing, she knew what to do to have Y/n dependent on her. How to have her addicted to her. To always come to her. The older woman knew exactly what she was doing when giving the younger girl things only she could give her, things she would come back for. Who else was there if not Jennie? She was enhancing the best feelings, mixing them and creating a euphoria she could only achieve with Jennie.

It wasn't just drugs.

All her problems with her boyfriends. The vixen found herself open in Jennie's arms each time after she would fuck her well enough. Jennie would coax her into letting it all out, into rambling about her problems, every little complaint about Asher, life, friends, or anything. She knew just how to get it out of Y/n. What she did with that was turn it all around and give her the things she lacked. She gave her everything he couldn't.

It would always be Jennie that way.

She watched as Jennie unscrewed it and put the top on the seat. The bitter taste wasn't good at all as it spread on the tip of her tongue, but it didn't matter as she poured a small amount on it. All that taste washed away the second the drugs started to pump through her veins and Jennie loved every moment of it. If it hadn't been for Y/n they would still hold the first place of her favourite things. Things, she owned Y/n. It was her possession after breaking her down into what she wanted her to be.

Her doll.

Her star.

Y/n moaned right into her mouth when Jennie leaned down, pushing her tongue into her mouth and sharing that bitter taste with Y/n who sucked on her tongue. It made Jennie get up more on her knees and push her tongue further into Y/n's warm and slick mouth. The vixen held onto the sides of her neck, nails gently scratching along her skin while her body fell into bliss. Their noses brushed and Jennie with a huff through it turned her head more and made sure Y/n got as much as possible as she let the girl swallow her tongue. The sucking on it was stirring her cock awake.

"Fuck–" Y/n breathed out when the older woman pulled away, making sure to lick up any of the leftover spit on Y/n's plump lips.

Jennie reached for the sunglasses on top of Y/n's head. Her eyes looked into Y/n's blown ones, their hearts slowly picking up, especially Y/n's who had a lower tolerance and the coke Jennie had shoved into her mouth was strong. It was so good, these good feelings were almost the only ones she could associate with Jennie as she always ended up too fucked up to remember the rest. Why would she dwell in the bad when the good was also there? There was no need for balance or in-between because the high highs and low lows sufficed.

"You're so fucking hot." Jennie groaned out, looking at the girl whose chest was heaving and whose eyes were searching for nothing. Her mouth went numb and the euphoria came right back before it had the chance to disappear. Jennie brought her to different types of highs. She loved them all. Only Jennie had been able to bring her to such highs and it made it that much harder to leave. What if she would never get to experience them again if she left Jennie?

Her eyes scanned over what the high girl was wearing as she had already seen her once today in these clothes. She could look at her all day. She usually did as she had followed all of Y/n's socials with her private account. Dressed in calf-high black boots, a black tube top that showed off most of her slim stomach, accentuating her tiny waits more and stopped just where her boobs started with a tight mini skirt of black denim that showed off her long legs. The most coverage was the racer jacket Jennie had forced on her not caring about what she would say to her friends if they asked where she got it from. She wouldn't let her walk out without it unless she was there too. However, looking at the vixen, Jennie was growing hard.

Y/n bit her lower lip as Jennie grabbed hold of the top and pulled it down under her chest, revealing the strapless push-up bra under it. Her chest was still heaving and she watched the powder that Jennie tapped out of the small necklace onto her cleavage. It stuck to her skin which was warm from the drugs and Jennie who wrapped around her like a blanket and kept her safe. These things had turned into her safe space.

"If it weren't for the party I would be fucking you right now." Y/n's hands tangled into Jennie's hair, biting down harder on her lower lip as Jennie snorted it off of her skin, hands firmly gripping onto her waist. It was twisting in Jennie who held back a moan as her cock strained, the stimulation always came to a peak with Y/n and drugs. Her fingers dug into Y/n's waist who pushed her chest more into her face with her grip tight on her hair. Thighs clenched at how it spread over her skin which had become more sensitive to touch because of the coke. It was all warm and comforting.

It made Y/n hum when the warm tongue ran over her skin, licking up any leftover of the powder.

She planted a few kisses over Y/n's chest, gently sucking to not leave marks, and nuzzling her face into the small but perfect breasts. Her hands caressed the skin that was scorching under her touch before she pulled away sniffling as it all travelled down her nose and to the back of her throat.

It made it feel numb and swollen as she couldn't feel the roof of her mouth. If there was something that Jennie did love, it was drugs, sex, and alcohol together with parties. She wiped her nose, closing the coke cross and putting it back into her back pocket before getting back up and pulling up the light girl and helping her fix the top.

"How is it?" She asked while putting on the sunglasses on Y/n's nose, covering the blown pupils for now just in case while taking her own that were discarded on the seat beside her. She snivelled as she tapped at her nose, wiping it again and clearing her numb throat as her heart was pounding. "Great, just what I needed." It was as if a different person was clinging onto Jennie than the girl who had entered the car. The woman grabbed hold of the sneaky fingers tracing the outline of her cock she decided she would have to tuck in before they arrive.

The party had been held at a private club, restricted for anyone who wasn't invited or a plus one. It was filled with people of Jennie's status, certain celebrities, models, and a few people of Y/n's status of being an anonymous person with a private life.

What Y/n knew was that whenever she went with Jennie to these things, first of all, the woman made sure she stayed with her, second, the alcohol never seemed to end, third, neither did the drugs, fourth, fourth were the corners, bathrooms and private places she would get dragged to by Jennie and the people she would run into there.

It was almost sad, but now that she was dragged into it too, she understood why people chose to drown in this rather than swim against the current that life was.

What she could remember after swallowing tequila like water was that she got dragged into a bathroom. By then the vixen was already slurring words and stumbling over her own feet, being guided by Jennie who made sure to let her re-dose on the white powder every 30 to 60 minutes. It was like clockwork, one person left a bathroom and the next came in without any blockades.

The billionaire was in a state that wasn't sober, but she was fine with walking without walking into everything and everyone unless someone held her. The woman was so used to them that she knew how to work around these complications they caused. Their effect wasn't as strong and any higher doses would end with death. She was making sure to take care of Y/n the whole night and she did. She loved how the vixen loved what she loved and didn't hesitate to do these things. It was exactly who she wanted.

She could remember the woman holding Y/n'a nostril closed with the snuff spoon under her other one before taking what she was handed and sniffing it without a second thought. It hadn't been registering in her head either way as she could have been told to sniff poison and she would as her judgement was impaired together with everything else. However, she didn't want anything else than to get lost in the night and get fucked over to a different universe on drugs and alcohol that she had grown even more fond of.

That seemed to be the last straw for her body though as the last thing she could remember after that was how she in the same bathroom got pushed onto her knees with Jennie's zipper flying open. "You're my fucking star, Y/n, fuck, I can make you a star." Those were the last words she could pinpoint she heard somewhere along the way of having Jennie's cock stuffed down her throat while giving her a messy blowjob from the state she had been in.

She simply blacked out at that moment. It left her with a loss of memory from the night aside from the way there in the car, the first few shots, and then being dragged to the bathroom and shoved onto her knees.

That was all she could summarise when she opened her eyes and was in the bed of the hotel room. It was like a time skip because of the gap in her memories. Her world was still spinning, still somewhat under the influence of things only God had the answer to. Her mind dissociated and nothing felt real as she looked around the room with her head pounding and such thirst that it was close to drawing tears. Her body hurt and it usually did because being a messy and destructive drunk came with its cons.

She was naked and only glanced over her shoulder at Jennie who was holding her close, her hot breath fanning the back of her neck as the woman was just as naked. She could tell that they had sex, but she couldn't remember it as she hadn't been conscious, she had been, but not conscious enough to remember. She assumed that she had been asking for it.

She reached for her phone to see it was 3 P.M. and her world was still spinning. It left her extremely confused, having no clue when they got back, how, and what more happened.

"Are you alright?"

Jennie's voice was in a rasp as she mumbled into Y/n's neck, her hands caressing the girl's stomach gently as she snuggled closer to her. Y/n couldn't even care anymore, she couldn't even tell if she was real at the moment or not, let alone would she care about Jennie cuddling her. It was comforting at the moment because it made the anxiety of being dissociated go away. It let her hold on to the reality it felt like she was losing touch with.

"Just thirsty," Y/n mumbled, dropping the phone back onto the mattress where she had texts from her friends and boyfriend. None of them seemed to matter when she was with Jennie as she forgot them.

"I will get you everything in...five minutes."

Y/n hummed at that as she wouldn't have to move to do it herself because she was sure she would throw up if she did.

"When did we get back and did we have sex?"

Jennie lifted her head at that and peeked over Y/n's shoulder, the girl was just staring ahead without anything particular covering her face, she looked impassive. She looked numb and Jennie knew that it was the come down from all the drugs and booze she had consumed. She hadn't stopped her, more so given her more or encouraged her to take more. She enjoyed Y/n both sober and fucked up on drugs and alcohol. It was better with her than when Jennie did these things alone. She knew it was all catching up to Y/n though.

"You're not mad that we did? You were begging and whining for it, I couldn't deny you and it was 5 am when we got back." Jennie replied, worried the girl would get angry. Neither of them had been in a sober state, but Y/n had been way worse. Her palm continued to soothe Y/n's thin stomach, ready to tend to whatever needs she would have during a day that would be a hassle to pull through.

It was enough to let Y/n know that Jennie hadn't even been close to as lost in the substances as she ended up being.

"No, as long as I am not unconscious," Y/n replied as despite it all she trusted Jennie not to take that type of advantage of her. That she wouldn't get on her unless she was asking for it simply because she wouldn't be able to fight back. It wasn't like she would remember if she would be blackout drunk, or maybe she would. She didn't care anymore, she couldn't find the will to care at the moment. Blackout drunk was most likely the same as being unconscious. Jennie couldn't have known if she was or not.

Yn had lost the will to care a while ago, there was a reason why she took drugs and alcohol without caring whether she would overdose at some point or not. The will to live was fading much quicker with each passing day. An overdose sounded like a dream come true. She loved what she had been consumed in, but she also hated it and at times wanted her old life back which Y/n knew she couldn't have back.

She turned to her back and Jennie pushed herself up, propping her head up on her palm as she rested against her elbow. Her eyes looked over Y/n's face before meeting her eyes when she tilted her head up to look at her. Her eyes were glossy from what she had been consuming.

She only hoped that Jennie wouldn't want anything in return for what she had been offering to Y/n. It wasn't like she was leeching or using Jennie, the woman just offered it all to her and dragged her along. Most of the time Y/n didn't even have the time to think or say no. In the same way, she hadn't had another choice but to stay with Jennie and she wasn't spending any money on anything because the older woman insisted on every little expense.

The vixen assumed that giving her her body sufficed. It had always worked as currency.

"I will get you that water," Jennie said and leaned down, kissing her forehead before she moved to get out of the bed, much less hungover and on a less extreme sugar crush than Y/n was on. The woman was already used to it.

[Hours prior, during the night]

The only thing loud for Jennie was her heart as it would always beat so hard, it felt like with each beat it would slowly rip out of her chest. It still felt warm, it squeezed and all that blood ran warm in her body, leaving it clammy, but it was like a fuzzy comfort blanket. She wouldn’t trade these feelings for the world, she wouldn’t give up drugs for the world. They were her world and unless something managed to replace them they would stay forever.

The music outside the restroom was making the door vibrate. These parties could end careers, but she loved showing up to every single one of them. She used to love them even more when she would be fucking girl after girl at them. Now the only girl she would love until she would have her release was in the restroom with her. She wasn’t leaving after either, but that didn’t mean that she loved her. Y/n wasn’t drugs or alcohol, but she still somehow worked on Jennie quite similarly as Jennie had grown addicted to her.

Just like when Jennie wouldn’t be able to take drugs or alcohol for a couple of hours and would think about them until she got them, she would think only about Y/n when she no longer was there.

Aside from that Jennie’s cock had been straining against her pants extra badly now after pulling Y/n to the bathroom. There was something so mesmerising about seeing a girl who used to be everything good, be everything bad just because of Jennie. To see something she made. This was her work of art. She went from moderately corrupted when they first met to severely corrupted and the billionaire loved every second of it.

That was why she couldn’t help herself but shove Y/n down onto her knees in the bathroom they were in.

“Jen–”

“No, no, stay down, Y/n…” She held Y/n down by her head, the girl looking up at her through her lashes with her lower lip jutting out. The marble was cold under her knees and her world was spinning. It was making Jennie that much more eager when Y/n was looking up at her while on her knees. There was something so vulnerable in her when she was on her knees which left the woman in control.

She let go of her head and her hands started to fumble with her pant buttons and zipper. It tugged the corners of her lips up when Y/n’s fingers hooked at the hem of her pants and she tugged them down just enough. “Show how much you love my cock, doll, show me how much you appreciate it.” Jennie encouraged, wanting the girl to worship her and her cock as she threaded her fingers through Y/n’s hair while she leaned against the counter behind her for balance.

Her chest heaved as Y/n leaned in, her plump lips gently pressing themselves along the outline of her cock. The precum smeared through the white fabric and Jennie hummed, sucking in her bottom lip as Y/n kissed her cock through the material. The white fabric was getting stained by Y/n’s lip gloss, leaving prints of her pinkish lips along them. Her dick was hurting from how much she wanted to be inside her mouth that teased through the boxers.

However, Y/n’s kisses stopped and the girl groaned with her eyes closed and forehead resting against Jennie��s thigh. It made the woman suck air through her teeth and she grabbed hold of Y/n’s hair, bunching it up and pulling her back to see the frown on her face.

“Suck it or I will find someone else to do it and leave you behind for someone else to do whatever they want.” Y/n was in no state to deny her, especially not when she barely knew people at this place and anything could happen to her when she could barely tell left from right. With not much choice left she tried to gather herself and push everything else aside to please Jennie who in the end has been taking care of her even if that had left Y/n barely sitting up.

Jennie pushed her boxer briefs down, taking out her scalding cock while still holding onto Y/n because the girl kept losing balance. Her dick was hard, ready to explode as she had been waiting to at least get it sucked since they were in the car. She stroked down, shivering at her touch and she held it at the base. “Show me your tongue, baby.” She encouraged, biting her lower lip as she used her length and tapped it against the girl’s cheek a few times. It was sending waves of pleasure through her body when she slapped it against her cheek, leaving her precum on it before she moved down further to Y/n’s lips.

Her lips parted when Y/n opened her warm mouth, sticking her slick tongue out. She held onto Jennie’s thigh for balance, her other hand coming up to the woman’s cock as she replaced Jennie’s hand with her own. With a shaky breath, Jennie tightened her grip on Y/n’s hair, her other hand gripped onto the edge of the counter as she swallowed down her numb throat. The girl’s plump lips wrapped around her tip, teasing her slit with her tongue, gathering her precum and swirling around her. It continued as she sucked on the swollen and sensitive tip that was twitching each time she ran her tongue over her slit.

Her throbbing cock got engulfed further into Y/n’s mouth, a moan falling from Jennie’s lips who let her head fall back. It was making her dizzy with the alcohol and drugs, the pleasure being tenfold and better than anything else she’s ever had because Y/n worked her cock so well. She wished she could have her dick shoved in her mouth for hours as the messy slurping and moans from Y/n filled the echoing bathroom. If only Jennie had the whole night, which she did, but not in this bathroom.

“God, I have to lend your mouth, Y/n and you have to take it because we don’t have time.” Jennie sighed and looked down in a haze as her vision was blurring from the way Y/n suckled on her tip. The vixen’s cheek hollowed around her length, and Jennie’s stomach flexed at the feeling and sight. Though Y/n tried to protest as lending her mouth to Jennie meant a sore throat, the woman was much quicker as she already had hold of the girl’s hair.

“So good, your mouth is so good, doll face.” Jennie praised, slowly moving her hips and inching her cock further inside the girl’s mouth who tried her best to breathe. It was quite literally almost impossible as her nose was stuffy from the coke and now she had a cock slowly being shoved down her throat, the pace only picking up. Her eyes were glued to Y/n who was barely keeping hers open, tears spilling down the sides and her spit smearing down her chin. All she did was provide her mouth to the woman, pressing her tongue to the underside of the cock that was hard and throbbing in her mouth, tracing the pulsating vein while giving Jennie the suction she required.

It was followed by the sound of gagging when her dick at last hit the back of her throat, Y/n having no way of opening her throat for her because of how she was fucking her mouth. Her hands gripped Jennie’s thighs for support to not lose her wavering balance and her eyes closed at the spinning. The billionaire hissed, nails dug into her thighs and she pulled her cock out of Y/n’s mouth, the only thing connecting them was the saliva from her red and swollen tip and the girl’s wet lips.

“I need to breathe asshole.” Y/n rasped, eyes on the floor as it was moving under her, the alcohol making it hard to even sit.

“You got to breathe, now warm it again,” Jennie ushered, slapping her wet cock against Y/n’s cheek again, too eager to wait for the girl. She was close and wanted to fuck it right down her throat. It made her bite back a smile when Y/n took her back into her mouth, looking up at her for a split second with her red eyes and blinking them. It was enough to let Jennie know that she could use her however she liked to.

Her hips worked, the girl holding onto her thigh while the other gripped Jennie’s ass which flexed with each thrust. The vixen moaned, opening her throat just for Jennie who almost tumbled at the feeling of her cock being buried in the confines of the tight throat when Y/n loosened it for her. Her hand just then stumbled upon her phone on the counter and seeing that Y/n was too occupied with sucking her dick and being wasted she grabbed it without a second thought.

“God, you’re never leaving, not gonna let you when your mouth works me so well.” She mumbled under her breath, Jennie’s moans breathy and needy for release. “I own you.” Her hand pushed back Y/n’s hair, pulling it away from her face and capturing the girl taking her cock into her mouth like she was made for it, as this wasn’t the old Y/n anymore. Her eyes were red and filled with tears, the only thing keeping her makeup in place was how it was waterproof. The dark-haired girl quickly bobbed her head, slowing down before picking up, and then taking Jennie back into her throat all while her spit was spilling. The motions were making Jennie's thighs tremble.

Jennie couldn’t pinpoint if she ever had seen the girl so fucked up, sucking dick in a bathroom while flying above clouds. She couldn’t even think that far as her mind was going blank from Y/n’s mouth.

“You’re my fucking star, Y/n.”

Her hips stuttered, her member throbbing on Y/n’s tongue who did her best to take Jennie in her mouth. Only stopping for a few seconds every time she reached her pelvis, nose tickling Jennie’s skin when she deep-throated her over and over. Her dick pulsating, her tip twitching when she squeezed it with her throat, having her in a chokehold before she sucked right back to her tip with hollowing cheeks. The motion was repeated until Jennie’s legs would go numb.

The woman knew that her cock was the only one the girl could properly deep throat as she reached her throat, unlike her waste of a boyfriend.

“Fuck, I can make you a star…”

Her lips parted, gasps falling from her mouth as her breathing got heavier. Jennie’s body convulsed into Y/n, her hips pushing themselves as far as they could and the moan was a breathless whimper from how it stole her voice, her body shaking. It filled her vision with white dots and she by some miracle didn’t fall over as her balls tightened, Y/n was able to feel Jennie’s cock grow harder on her tongue–giving her no time to pull away–before cum started to shoot into her mouth. The woman’s hips bucked one last time, emptying every little drop of salty cum into Y/n’s mouth, her shirt sticking to her back from how hot it all got her from the sex to the drugs and everything else in between.

Without thought Jennie pushed the girl away from her and leaned back against the counter, making sure to put her phone away before the coughing girl could question her. Whether or not Y/n was aware wasn’t Jennie’s problem, the woman holding on to not fall over. It made the girl fall back against her palms at the harsh treatment as she felt used for Jennie's pleasure She leaned forward again at what Jennie had done in her mouth, the brunette knowing well what Y/n liked and disliked.

“What’re you doing?” It somehow pissed her off to see the girl spit it all out, her cum splattering with spit against the black marble of the floor. Her hands worked on stuffing her cock back into her boxers and zipping up her pants. It always just stirred something in her when she was under the influence and things weren’t going the way she wanted them to be. Y/n always knew how to stir her on and do whatever she pleased and not what Jennie pleased.

“Do you hear me?” Jennie’s voice was rigid as she was serious and crouched down right in front of Y/n. The girl snivelled and looked up at Jennie with eyes full of tears that had yet to dry and she cupped Y/n’s face with her one hand. “I’ve told you before that when you come to me, you listen to me, Y/n.” She mumbled, her thumb running over Y/n’s lips and gathering whatever was left on them, knowing very well that the girl hated the taste. The words had to be enough to remind the vixen of the consequences and how Jennie could react when she was challenged.

“I don’t like it, Jen.” Y/n’s voice was a rasp, her head heavy in Jennie’s palm as she held onto her forearm to steady herself and not fall over. The woman knew what the girl was feeling, she had felt it all before when she had just started, and she knew how lost Y/n felt. She knew that if she asked her where she was right now she wouldn’t be able to provide a concrete answer. Jennie was at least there to take care of her, Jennie never had anyone to take care of her. In Jennie’s opinion, Y/n was lucky, but ungrateful by doing this when the woman was there to take care of her when no one else would. She could at least swallow.

“Learn to like it.” She pushed her thumb between the girl’s lips, fingers holding her jaw to make sure she would stay. The vixen winced yet took her thumb into her mouth, cleaning whatever cum was on it despite not being able to stand the taste. “So pretty,” Jennie mumbled and pulled her thumb out of Y/n’s mouth and she swallowed, knowing that it would anger her otherwise. This whole ordeal had been a problem for a while and finally, Jennie was getting Y/n to listen and do as she said. Her lips twitched into a smile at how ruined Y/n was, how she broke her, and now she got to hold her.

“Let’s go.” Jennie huffed and got up on her feet, grabbing hold of Y/n’s hands and with ease pulling her up on her feet. The girl stumbled into Jennie, her body weight being held up by the woman who held her arms wrapped around Y/n’s waist. She let them go down further, grabbing hold of her ass under the skirt with her lips finding Y/n’s neck. Jennie took in the girl’s scent before sucking on the skin that was soft and smooth, squeezing her ass while pulling away. “We have to get back out.” She grumbled and helped Y/n stand on both feet, making sure to fix her hair and wipe away the mess, leaving a peck on her lips to then drag her back out. her toy, her doll.

They left the bathroom perfectly fine, going right back out to the party, occasionally finding the way right back to the restroom for more empty lines of white which they didn't have to know how to read to understand. Despite the blinding lights, the doors to the city were closed and whatever they wanted to do they were trapped right there together which only meant bad news if one pissed off the other. And so it did start because it always did with them both.

It was easy to get lost in everything as things got blinding, Jennie’s eyes felt sensitive and dry the longer she stayed on the couch. It was all a blur and she had spent hours she assumed just on the couch with people surrounding her. It was hard to pinpoint if time went by or not because it felt like it was flying by while she was stuck in the same place. The woman had been so zoned out and busy with someone else that she never realised where Y/n was.

Enough made her forget about everything except for what was right in front of her.

There was a reason why she kept Y/n by her side, especially if she brought her to a party.

Y/n outdid the models.

Y/n dressed in a way that made Jennie’s dick throb and she didn’t mind her dressing that way, but only if she was there to make sure no one else was trying to touch what she wanted to possess.

The vixen’s features, her allure, it was all sex, or maybe that was all Jennie could think. What did that change when they were at a private afterparty where already questionable enough things were happening?

“Listen–” Jennie started, grabbing hold of her manager and pulling the younger one down to speak in her ear. There was a slight wobble in Jennie as things were like a rollercoaster and she had nothing to secure her. It was just a matter of time before she would get completely off the rails. A matter of time until a loop would come and she would get sent flying. “Where is she?” She asked, bunching the material in her fist as she pulled on the woman’s shirt because there was a wave of anger bubbling inside her, crashing against her insides to escape. Things weren’t how she wanted them. She wanted Y/n right beside her, sitting and not running off the leash unless Jennie said so.

The lack of control was like small ants that crawled over her body and she couldn’t shake them off.

“The back I think?” Jennie shoved her away with a huff, putting her hands inside her pockets to not shove anyone else as she walked through what felt like endless bodies that blurred in her peripheral vision. It felt like it was taking too long, the club not coming to an end until it did and she reached the back of it.

She opened the door to the stairwell that led downstairs of the club and also to the back entrance of it. It was lit by neon purple, making her eyes squint for a second at how bright it was compared to where she had been just now. The powdery scent of the fogger fluid that came from the smoke machines was faint as the stairwell wasn't dim with the smoke either, the scent of aftershave was much stronger when a man passed by her.

All the giggles, talking, and whatnot were like a trigger in her head as she knew that among these people scattered along the stairs was Y/n. Jennie walked down the wide stairs, getting further down. It wasn’t long until her eyes fell on Y/n.

The vixen was sitting on the stairs with a guy towering right over her with a smile on his lips as he stood a few steps below to match her height. Both hands held him up by the railing on each side and the last straw was when he let go with one hand and cupped her face. The vixen tilted her head back without hesitation to make it easier for him to reach down to her when he started to lean down.

Was Y/n the same person that Jennie was? It wasn’t like that was the point when she decided to break her down into parts and put them back together but leaving the ones she didn't want behind. Of course, that ended with an imperfect doll because parts were missing, but those imperfections were what made her perfect in Jennie's eyes-

However, when she did that the point was to make a doll for Jennie to play with, to own, her doll, not one that would learn from her and act just like her. Y/n was supposed to be with her, only see her and not forget everything else the second someone else said hello and she was wasted enough. She wasn’t supposed to forget Jennie when someone else walked up to her. She wasn't supposed to be like a stray, that was only for Jennie.

Jennie was supposed to be the one seeing other women, especially when Y/n wasn’t with her. It was all somehow turned around because Jennie could barely get hard unless she was blackout drunk and unable to think because then she wasn’t even able to remember her name let alone Y/n’s. Yet the roles were reversed and Jennie was suffering because of it.

If it hadn’t been for the railing Jennie would be tumbling down the stairs, but her feet quickly let her get to them and she grabbed hold of his shirt. Her only advantage was her money in this case, aside from the fact that she got to be taller when standing further up the stairs. Advantage money, she had guards following after her that he didn’t have.

“What’re you trying to do? Forcing yourself on a wasted girl?” Jennie knew what type of bullshit she was spewing. If she hadn’t been angry and she and Y/n would be away from everyone else she would be ramming her cock inside her. All she needed was a reason for him to leave her. All she needed was for something to validate her anger and start pouncing the guy if he gave her the chance by furthering her anger. She usually went for someone weaker to get her anger out without taking any damage herself.

“Get the fuck off of me.” He tried to push her away, but Jennie shoved him first, the guy stumbling into the wall and grabbing hold of the railing to not fall down the stairs.

“Don’t fucking touch her again, moron–I will get you kicked out and fucking blacklisted from every single club you see.” She bellowed, two men coming down right behind her and the guy tried to argue when they grabbed him to pull him away before Jennie would get hurt. Her fists clenched and she looked at the girl she stood two steps below. Y/n groaned, her face resting in her palms and Jennie’s nose twitched in anger.

“We’re leaving,” Jennie said and Y/n heaved a sigh, looking up from her hands at the ordr. Her impassive face turned into one that smiled at Jennie as she scoffed a chuckle.

“What’s your actual problem?” Y/n questioned with her tone a rasp, eyes trying to focus on Jennie's face.

The woman tried to reach for Y/n’s hand, grabbing her wrist that the girl slid right out of her hold before she could tighten in. That pain was always numbing, it bruised her, and the previous bruise had yet to disappear. Jennie’s eyes squinted in anger and she grabbed the railing before leaning closer to Y/n. The girl flinched, this time the grip didn’t come to her wrist, but she grabbed her by her hair, forcing Y/n to look her in the eye, making sure she would do so when her forehead pressed against the vixen's forehead hard enough to make her head throb.

“I said, we’re leaving.” She could hear the tremble in the breath Y/n let out. Jennie wasn’t hurting her, no, she was just making sure that Y/n knew where her place was and that she stayed where she was meant to be. There was no reason for her to reach further than Jennie allowed. What if Y/n would reach further and leave? Her hand came up to Jennie’s wrist who only tightened her grip on the girl’s hair. Y/n was supposed to stay below Jennie who would only give her bits and pieces of freedom to have the girl depending on her unless she wanted to live a cold and empty life.

Those were emotions in Y/n’s glazed eyes, emotions Jennie didn’t care about when hers were winning. Jennie wasn't one to stop because someone was crying or dying. “Get up. It will end worse otherwise.” Her tone wavered, yet it was harsh enough to cut through the skin. It was as if she was spewing shards of glass, cutting right through Y/n’s flawless skin and leaving her to bleed. The woman did everything to scar Y/n's skin because she always left her mark, she always made sure she would be remembered.

Jennie could tell how lost Y/n was, it gave Jennie a free pass. How much would Y/n remember? Jennie could feel that she was the one supporting Y/n from how she was barely sitting up, her weight leaned against Jennie. She was drunk, and high which Jennie was too, but Y/n was a lightweight when it came to tolerance. It was like a free pass to murder someone, but this time to have Y/n at her mercy.

“Let go of me, Jennie.” Yet Y/n wasn’t as tameable as Jennie wanted her to be. She was her doll, but it was a doll that wanted to come to life and be her own person. Y/n fought back, Y/n liked to dig her own grave, Y/n liked the pain, she loved getting hurt, and she was in love with the pain. Jennie gave it all to her. Jennie would continue to feed her the pain she loved so much because Y/n always ran back for more. She had the girl running back to her.

“Get the fuck up, Y/n. We’re fucking leaving or I will fucking throw you down these stairs and drag you to the car.” Jennie had never figured out where that anger came from. Where it got brewed. It was like it tingled through her body, if she didn’t let out these words, she would take it out physically. That was where Y/n was different for her because Jennie didn’t hurt her more than this. That made Jennie a good person in her mind, she was good to Y/n in her opinion. She was good if she went out of her way to not hurt her more physically like she did with everyone else who was much weaker. It always made her feel more powerful.

That anger was always so overwhelming and it was just there.

There was a tremble in Y/n’s jaw, Jennie caught it together with how deeply she inhaled the thick air of the club. Everyone minded their business, walking up and down the stairs, passing them, and leaving them in their world. The one the vixen had been invited to and willingly stepped inside for the gates to get locked behind her. The one she couldn't escape even if she wanted to. It had everything she needed. It had Jennie, it was free of shame, judgement, and pain that was different from the one Jennie caused.

What else was Y/n supposed to do?

She got out of Jennie’s grip because the woman let go of her otherwise she would be stuck. Jennie grabbed her forearm and pulled her up on her feet. There would always be that one person who would be stronger mentally, and physically, and Jennie would always take advantage of that position in her relationship with Y/n who had let her walls down and showed her weaknesses because she trusted Jennie.

She trusted her.

They made it out of the club, the music was muffled just like their ears. The air cooled down their warm bodies and Jennie was looking for rational reactions. Y/n’s arm slipped right out of her hold once again. A grip that Jennie did not like to lose. She needed it to know she had control.

“Stop fucking playing around Y/n!” Jennie’s voice boomed through the empty back of the club that was only for private guests to come and leave. She turned right around and looked at the girl. The car already waited on them, but neither of them was heading inside until they blew off everything first. At least blow off some of it.

“Stop being on my fucking ass then. Why would you fucking act like that?”

Jennie had so many reasons to do that. If Y/n was acting broken in a way that she didn’t like she would fix her to her desires. Jennie would throw her against the wall, and destroy her, knowing Y/n would lay and wait for her, and Jennie would always go back to fix her after, only to throw her against the wall again, leaving Y/n dependent on being fixed by the only person who knew how to fix her. The person who destroyed her was the one who fixed her. That was why it was worth staying despite the low lows of lying on a cold floor, drowning in tears, but they got wiped away after.

“Why? You come here with me and do what? Why the fuck were you with him!?” Jennie’s voice was a rasp as she raised it even more, coming right back to Y/n as they stood right in front of each other. Her chest was heaving, anger coursing through her veins with everything else she had consumed tonight. These things all together were the worst combination that brought out worse in her than Y/n managed. Y/n only stirred it on and made it worse, making something ugly even uglier.

“I’m going to do what I fucking please to do. What does it matter to you when you are sitting and talking to a bunch of girls either way? They could keep you company, so what do you need me for?”

It was fine for Jennie to do though, not Y/n. The woman scowled at the comparison as she was supposed to be allowed to do whatever she wanted. Jennie had always done what she pleased. She had money and could get away with so much, being with a bunch of women was the least problematic thing that she enjoyed. It was free too because they always came to her. Jennie wanted everything without needing to give anything back.

“Were you going to cheat on your boyfriend?”

It didn’t matter though, it was better to twist it and bring all the shame on Y/n who was cheating on her boyfriend. Jennie could just redirect all the fire and not have her mistakes pointed out when she could point out Y/n’s beautiful flaws instead. There was no shame though because neither of them cared about the actual boyfriend, but only each other.

She couldn’t help but love those flaws because they were so perfect even if they fueled a fire in her. A fire, it fueled a fire, and it kept Jennie warm so what did it matter if they fought? At least they kept each other warm in a fire that was out of control and destroying everyone on the way. They somehow found beauty in the ugly and flawed. All that burned land only made space for them to start building their own world and make it, however, they wanted it to look, building it off of each other's flaws, sticking it all together even if it didn't go together. It was kintsugi with broken pieces that they made beautiful.

The words seemed to flip something in Y/n.

“I am already cheating on him you crazy fucking bitch!” The girl’s hands came up to her head in disbelief at what Jennie was saying before she dropped them. It was making her jittery too, unable to just stand there and look at Jennie. It was hard to look at Jennie, the woman was aware of it as her flaws were so imperfect it made the eyes hurt, but Y/n at least took off her glasses just for her. She took them off and she ignored all of those flaws because she decided to not see them. What was a flaw if Y/n couldn't see it because she bluntly decided to ignore it?

“Don’t fucking yell at me like that.” Jennie tried to drown out Y/n’s voice, gripping the slim girl's jacket to turn her right back to her when Y/n tried to turn and walk off the anger. The older one looked at the girl who had tears in her eyes from frustration, unable to take out her anger which resulted in tears as she couldn’t result in anger like Jennie would do. Y/n was too scared, Jennie was aware, she was too scared to go that far and always ended up crying in their toxin-filled dynamic. The girl didn't hold back on her tears, she didn't try to hold them back to look strong because she knew that there was no point in trying to hide the truth from someone who already knew it.

“What’re you going to do about it, Jennie? Throw me down what fucking stairs you cunt?” Y/n spat out, her voice thick from the lump in her throat that was getting coated in tears, trying to dig its way out of her throat. She was barely registering what was around her. Her legs were so unstable she was stumbling while standing still, her only support was Jennie, her only support in more ways than one. It was her only safety net.

She couldn’t even remember who exactly it was Jennie was talking about as the most she could remember was what happened five minutes ago and that was Jennie saying she would push her down the stairs. Y/n was just fighting because Jennie was fighting, and she would go on even if she forgot the point because she wasn’t just going to cave.

The two of them could go on for days.

They could butt heads for days even if neither would remember the point.

“Shut the fuck up. It’s not my fault you act like a fucking whore and would fuck just anyone now.” Jennie growled, her fist twisting the material of her jacket that Y/n had on, fists pressing into Y/n’s chest who grabbed hold of her forearms to not lose balance. Her tears only being a mere reflection of her emotions, not being able to tell the actual pain behind them. The thought was irking Jennie further on, she was adding fuel to her own fire now. Those small threads were snapping quicker and quicker and soon enough nothing would hold her back from hurting the girl unless she would somehow talk herself into not doing it.

“You’re acting as if you don’t get your dick sucked by a different girl every day.” Y/n let out in disbelief, her tears falling heavily from her eyes, salty on her flawless skin. They were harsh though, they would stain and hurt her, and they were like cyanide every time Jennie caused them. They only hurt when they were caused by the woman who was able to make her feel so much.

“That’s fucking different!” She trashed the jacket, yanking Y/n into herself whose nails were digging into the skin of Jennie’s forearms. The pain that was caused was easing the pain she wanted to cause. Her breathing fell ragged and her eyes wide with anger, it was spasming her muscles. It was like a twitch and she would end up doing something she didn’t want to.

“How?” Y/n pressed through the sob as she was breaking into pieces, Jennie continuously throwing her into the wall without giving her a break. Without stopping for a second to let her breathe, to maybe fix something before it would become unfixable.

“Because I don’t want you to see anyone else. Asher is enough even if you should fucking leave him. If you cheat on him, you cheat with me, no one else, no one else touches you except me and me only. I will fucking kill whoever else you let inside you and then fucking kill you too. You hear me!?” She screamed right in her face after pulling her into herself even more. It unclogged Y/n’s eardrums as she could feel Jennie shove her knuckles into her clavicles. Jennie threw out the words from anger as they were the first thing on her mind. Her words vibrated through Y/n's body, burying themselves deep inside her marrow, each little word touching her soul, bruising it.

Now Jennie couldn’t recognize herself anymore because she never cared. It twisted her stomach in the worst way possible. Those words were not Jennie, not the ones about caring if anyone else touched Y/n. None of this should have bothered her to begin with but it did. It did so badly that she was fighting about something she had never fought about before. These were things she was so unfamiliar with that it scared her and she couldn't predict how she would act the further she stepped into that unfamiliar territory.

Y/n shoved Jennie away who stumbled, her legs barely keeping her up and she caught herself on the new model of the black Rover that waited on them. The vixen flinched at the sound when Jennie’s fist collided with the door's body, it buckled and she hit it right again after. It let her take out her anger as she gritted her teeth and her fist was going numb when she hit it again. Taking out the anger she felt towards herself for caring when she didn’t want to care. Jennie never did because she was always numb, she was always busy, and she was never in the right state to even consider caring about someone else.

It scared Y/n.

It scared Jennie even more.

It scared Y/n to think that this was the same person she would have to get into the car with. The damage she did to the car. What said that she couldn’t do the same damage to her if she overstepped it? Maybe this was all that Jennie needed to do to have Y/n succumb and obey her.

Jennie yanked the door open with her throbbing hand, not waiting a single second as her hand was trembling and she ran her other hand through her hair. It was making her whole body shake that was clammy, her heart unstable, beating in her head, up her throat, trying to just escape her body and leave the abuse she caused herself and everyone else. It tried to escape from how terrified she was of whatever this was. These things she never cared about, Y/n was ruining her and no one had ever been able to ruin Jennie.

“Get the fuck inside, we’re getting your shit and you can go to your fucking boyfriend. That’s what you want, isn’t it? I will fucking give you what you want and fucking leave you alone.”

Y/n had gotten inside the car, scared not to get in and Jennie had slammed the door closed.

Jennie knew what she was doing.

Whatever control Y/n thought Jennie had lost, she had it all and Y/n would be on her leash as long as she wanted her to be.

The younger girl had stayed silent the whole ride, the fight long forgotten and the only words left she could remember and think about were that Jennie was going to leave her. It was eating at her as every time she glanced at the woman she had looked unbothered and hadn’t spared a single glance towards Y/n.

These things always made the vixen crumble.

She would be left all alone, she would be abandoned.

What if Asher left too? The man was leaving her, she was sure of it after the fight they had. Now Jennie was leaving her too. It was causing unbearable anxiety to Y/n.

Y/n froze.

She tried to work it out in her head when she watched Jennie shove her things into her bag.

Things that always worked;

Her body.

“Jennie, please.” She pleaded, on the verge of new tears because she would get thrown out. She would be all alone and abandoned without anyone there to hold her or care for her.

The woman stopped and dropped the bag beside her feet while biting her lower lip. Her back turned to Y/n and she could count the seconds. She knew exactly what she was doing because Jennie knew that Y/n would be the one to cave and get on her knees to apologise first if it meant that Jennie would stay.

Five seconds and Y/n was on the older woman.

“I’m sorry.” She mumbled, hand running down to grab hold of Jennie's hand who wouldn’t give in just yet as she wanted to see Y/n break down even more. It was the least the vixen could do after aggravating Jennie more than needed when she had already been pissed. She turned and looked at Y/n who frowned when she wasn’t allowed to touch Jennie, her eyes glossy and fragile. Jennie could see the fears in them because Y/n didn't try to mask them around Jennie, not masking them around the woman who used them all against her. All because her walls had crumbled so easily and she had laid her trust on Jennie.

“What am I going to do with a sorry?” Jennie questioned and undid her pants, walking over to the bed and Y/n followed right after her. Too scared not to follow in case Jennie would truly leave her behind. “I don’t care about your sorry even if you were to be crying on the floor.” She continued, discarding her bottoms on the floor before pulling the shirt over her head and getting into bed. With that, she dismissed Y/n as she turned off the lamp.

“You can see yourself out.”

Y/n had never been treated the way Jennie treated her. She had never been thrown out, denied, rejected, and had her ego crushed this way. This was Y/n, she always got everything she wanted simply because she was pretty. It wasn't only this way, she in general had never been through the treatment Jennie had been giving her ever since she got involved with her. Whatever sex it was, it had turned into a game where they were constantly being dealt bad cards, playing it blindly, with all odds against them from the very start. Yet neither ever folded but kept betting more and more, until it would leave them both with nothing or everything, if not leave one with nothing and the other with everything.

Only time could tell how the game would end.

As if Jennie didn’t know it. She was part of the people who gave in because of the girl’s sex appeal. She figured that if she stomped on it and broke it, the girl would do anything that would favour Jennie in this game of cards and the woman would give in because it would benefit her. That it would give her an upper hand if Y/n showed her a card or two so she would know what to play next.

“Please, I will listen to you, anything, Jen–” Cold hands snuck upon Jennie’s bare body from behind. Y/n’s palms were smooth against her bare stomach, running down to the hem of her lipstick-stained boxers. “I’m sorry’ listen to you like you’re my daddy, promise.” It flipped Jennie’s stomach when the hand pushed into her boxers, Y/n’s lips brushing her ear as her hand wrapped around her hardening cock. The words only stirred Jennie on and on, and maybe it wasn’t as easy to resist Y/n’s sex appeal as she thought it would be.

God, they both somehow had each other wrapped around each other’s pinkies. Trying to play against each other in a game where they were a team.

“I want you, everything you have to give, I want it. I will be a good girl, you can be my daddy.” Y/n knew just what to give Jennie despite being drunk, to show her where exactly the dynamic was. That Jennie would always have the upper hand and Y/n would always try to rebel because she had always been that way, but she knew how to be good when needed even if it caused big fights before she became that obedient girl that Jennie wanted her to be.

“I will give you everything.” Jennie groaned out, her cock stiff in Y/n’s hold who was still stroking her, squeezing at her tip, letting the precum run down and smear over her member. The vixen hummed, her lips staining Jennie’s skin with her lip gloss as she kissed along the woman’s shoulder. It made Jennie’s hips buck into her hand, knowing she wouldn’t last Jennie grabbed hold of Y/n’s hand. She didn’t care if Y/n wouldn’t remember it tomorrow. At least she succumbed to Jennie for the moment.

She turned to Y/n as she sat up on the bed, pulling the girl up too–already discarding the jacket before she removed the girl’s shirt. Jennie leaned in and captured those plump lips, they tasted of vanilla, cigarettes, and tequila, her tongue pushing further into Y/n’s mouth. Their breaths were heavy, their kiss sloppier than usual, the woman worked on removing Y/n’s strapless bra and doing so with ease.

She kicked off the duvet from her body as she got down the bed, Y/n trying to chase after her lips and only getting the string of saliva to stretch further before it broke them apart. Jennie turned on the bedside lamp and her eyes were hungry for the girl, all she wanted to do was fuck all her anger out and into Y/n.

The younger looked at the cock that was straining against the underwear that still had her lip prints on them and Jennie reached over for Y/n. “You make me so fucking angry, Y/n.” She huffed out, pulling the girl to the edge of the bed and hooking her fingers at the hem of her skirt and underwear before she pulled on them. She made her so angry yet she made the billionaire crave her so much and it no longer made sense, it never had because what they had would never make sense. It wasn't supposed to make sense. Jennie pulled them down the girl’s long legs before she discarded them on the floor, quickly pulling her boxers down and kicking them to the side.

She leaned back down to Y/n, “I’m sorry.” The girl tried to apologise before her lips got pressed against Y/n's again. Jennie’s kisses were harsher than usual, forcing her tongue inside Y/n’s mouth before the wasted girl could register it. All she did was try to kiss back. “You’re not sorry, you’re a fucking brat who will always anger me.” Jennie’s tone was heated with anger as it never went away, her hand gripped Y/n’s thigh, pulling the girl closer and she pressed her hard cock against Y/n’s wet heat, gently rubbing it between her folds and lubing herself up with the slickness.

Jennie was well aware of how they angered each other and always would. They did it from the second they met and it would never change. It didn’t mean that Jennie would leave it all behind. She would drag it on for as long as possible even if it destroyed them. Pain became bearable, it became the usual, and it became pleasurable after a while. There was no telling right from wrong when they had looked at the wrong as right from the start.

“You’re so fucking bad.” Jennie gritted out, her palm landing against Y/n’s thigh, the girl whined at the harsh pain and Jennie squeezed the flesh between her fingers. “But so fun to fucking destroy, aren’t you?” Y/n squirmed under Jennie who tugged on her lower lip, her body weight pressing her down into the mattress as her arms wrapped around Jennie’s back. Her kisses were like nicks, they hurt but they hurt so good the way she kissed down her neck, the way she bit down on her skin with the passion for hatred and desire.

“Jennie–” The girl got cut off, and another even harsher force landed right against her skin, it made Y/n jump but only to get nowhere as Jennie was right on top of her. “You don’t get to talk, Y/n.” Jennie pushed herself up, hand running between their bodies as she grabbed hold of her cock that was slick with Y/n's warm juices. Her eyes were on Y/n whose chest was heaving, the girl’s eyes just on Jennie, just for Jennie who guided her tip to her tight and sopping entrance.

“Each day I will remind you of who I am, how I own you, who you belong to.” Jennie breathed out as she pushed herself inside the girl, knowing very well that she had everything she needed to have Y/n in her chokehold. It made the girl’s back arch at the stretch that was intruding, grasping onto Jennie’s back and whimpering as she had no time to adjust. Her legs wrapped around Jennie’s waist. The billionaire was thrusting her hips into Y/n’s, the room quickly filled with the squelching, Jennie filling Y/n, stretching her out, her walls squeezing tightly around her cock with each stroke.

“Your fucking irreverence towards me will end badly one day.” Jennie groaned out, leaning down as she held herself up on her forearm beside Y/n’s head whose long legs were wrapped around her, holding Jennie close while nails dug into her skin. Nothing was gentle and nothing was supposed to be as they were in too much euphoria even to feel any real pain.

Y/n’s mind cut off when Jennie wrapped her hand around her neck, slowly cutting her breath as she squeezed her slim throat. Her heavy balls collided with her skin with each thrust, the woman panting for air right by her ear, her back flexing with each thrust under Y/n’s palms and nails only dragged harsher along her skin at the lack of air.

Both of them were on the wrong side of heaven.

“You’re fucking with me for a reason, Y/n–fuck if I see you with someone else again, I will ruin you.” Jennie groaned right by her ear, slowly releasing pressure on her neck. Her hips were rough, each making her breath go ragged, carnal grunts coming from the back of her throat at the force she fucked the girl with as it was pushing her worn-out body to the limits. Her cock slid in before coming back out, only to slam back into Y/n hard enough for it to hurt them both.

Her cock was stretching the slim girl, splitting her and reaching the only spots that she needed to get touched. Every time the woman would fuck her she would touch her soul and make her attach herself even harder around Jennie. Y/n’s whiny moans were fueling Jennie on, her pace hard and deep, the bed squeaked with each thrust and Y/n’s walls fluttered around her throbbing cock. Jennie grounded herself hard against the floor with her feet to be able and have the girl trembling under her, the pleasure was clouding Jennie's mind. The juices spilling and staining the sheets.

“You will only get disappointed if you even try to see someone else aside from me—no one can fill your soul-sucking void, whore. Only me, no one else will take you for who you are, but me.” Her teeth dug into Y/n’s thin skin, biting down hard. "That's why you lie to everyone, but me." She muffled through her teeth that were digging into Y/n's skin to find even more support and leverage to fuck the girl.

A cry left Y/n’s lips, pleasure overwhelming her body as her hormones spiked whenever she was drunk. Her cunt was throbbing and her clit was continuously being rubbed at by Jennie’s pelvis in harsh motions. The dick pounding her, dragging along her walls in a painful yet filling with pleasure way, she was able to feel how much harder Jennie grew, the way her tip twitched while caressing her g-spot. She could feel Jennie fully–courtesy of Jennie ignoring using a condom when she knew Y/n wouldn’t have time to even think about it. Her cunt was snug around Jennie’s cock which was pounding her raw.

Jennie lifted her head, leaving a mark on the girl’s juncture that would bruise and she watched the girl under her. The way Y/n’s perfect breasts moved with each thrust, the girl only stayed in place because she was wrapped around Jennie. Her head thrown back, Jennie squeezed her neck again, watching the moans spill from her parted lips, walls squeezing her cock at each gesture because she knew Y/n’s body so well. Her hips rolled into the girl one last time and Y/n came undone under her, her thighs quivering around Jennie, her moans straining from the lack of air. Jennie could die from the way Y/n’s red eyes rolled back and she clawed at her back.

It sent Jennie over the edge, to know that only she managed to have the girl this way under her. That only she knew how to fuck her right, satisfy her with her cock, that she knew how to treat her exactly how Y/n needed to be treated whether outside or inside the bedroom because she was addicted to what Jennie had given her a taste of.

Her hand let go of Y/n’s neck, planting it down beside her head. “Here’s–” Jennie strained, her dick getting squeezed by Y/n’s warm and snug wet pussy. She buried herself deep, her heavy balls tightening as she had everything in them that Y/n deserved. “Everything for my good girl.” She breathed out, filling the girl with her warm and sticky cum, shooting it deep with each twitch of her swollen tip as the walls were squeezing so tightly around her that she was barely keeping it inside Y/n.

Jennie panted for air, unable to catch her breath, her heart pounded against her chest in a way that made it tighten and her throat was dry. Her body was clammy with sweat and she felt somewhere between disgusting and euphoric because her cock was still buried deep within Y/n’s snug walls. The girl under her slowly came back from her high, hands shaky as they let go of Jennie who looked down as she slowly pulled out of Y/n. Her eyes fell back on the girl’s face as tears were still drying on her cheeks, but the girl was quick to cover her face with her forearm while taking in a shaky breath at how overwhelming it had gotten somewhere along the way of the pleasure.

She silently got them both under the covers, covering any traces of the night with it as she hugged Y/n who was already dozing off in a room that was violently spinning, her body still faintly trembling in Jennie’s touch.

Jennie pushed herself up, ignoring the faint flinch from Y/n when she reached up to the girl’s face and pushed her hair out of the way. Jennie still cared about her and that was all that mattered. She leaned down and her lips gently pressed against her cheek. “I care so much about you. I’d give you everything.” The woman mumbled, leaving kisses along Y/n’s jaw and she felt Y/n pull more into her. Jennie wrapped her arms around her small waist, pulling her as close as possible while lying back down.

Jennie’s care just looked different.

[A few hours later]

“Why are you so pissed?” Jennie questioned, unable to please the girl who sat in front of her in the bathtub of the suite.

Y/n huffed, still texting on her phone while Jennie grabbed hold of Y/n’s one leg that was brushing against her thigh. Her palms smoothed against her calf as she put it on the edge of the tub, diagonally across Jennie who massaged the muscles. Her eyes not leaving Y/n who despite being on what Jennie assumed was one of the worst hangovers in her life still looked incredible.

“Everything fucking hurts.”

“Well…” Jennie started, pressing her lips against the girl’s ankle as she had already told her all the excuses. “You did fall.” She lied once again because that explained why certain parts of her body hurt.

There was the option of telling Y/n that her body was sore because Jennie had been harsh with her. Manhandled her, grabbed hold of her, pushed her around, and had rougher sex than she maybe should have since it was rough most of the time, but not like that. She could tell her that they fought, that she had threatened her in multiple ways which included abandoning her or going as far as killing her.

The problem with the truth was that Y/n would most likely not be sitting in the same bath as Jennie if she had told it.

Another problem was that Jennie couldn’t stand up for what she had done because in her defense she had been under the influence and Y/n had fueled her. It was certain that these things would happen and that was her excuse for letting them happen. What she couldn't control wasn't her fault.

Her eyes trailed along her slim leg, catching the bruises forming on her knees as having her on her knees on a cold marble floor wasn’t ideal either. These things only reached Jennie now when she was somewhat sober as she had already taken a line to wake herself up and take care of Y/n.

“Put your phone away.” She told her, expecting Y/n to do it to not cause yet another fight.

“I need to reply, Jen…One more second.” Y/n mumbled, this time not arguing or being defensive about it or telling her off because she knew that it would backfire. Her body hurt enough and she was scared to say no. Her eyes were caught by Jennie’s when she looked up to check if it was fine, looking for permission in the woman’s eyes, for the permission to send a text.

“Hurry up.” She ushered her with her lips trailing kisses along the girl’s calf.

Y/n squirmed and turned off her phone when Jennie nipped at her skin. “Stop or I will shove my foot up your ass, idiot.” She hissed and Jennie used the girl’s leg to pull her over to her. The water splashed, falling outside the tub and she grabbed hold of Y/n’s waist.

“You’re into some weird stuff, aren’t you?” Jennie questioned while pulling Y/n over to her lap, the girl straddling her and running her hands into Jennie’s wet hair. Her fingers tangled in it as Jennie leaned back, the water stopping under her collarbones, looking up at the girl, water drops falling down her pretty skin as the water stopped around her waist when she was in Jennie's lap. Her skin bruised, carrying Jennie's marks.

“I’m not,” Y/n mumbled with a roll of her eyes, fingers coming over to gently trace Jennie's face who turned her head and left a kiss on the nimble fingers. Her hands interlocked on the small of Y/n's back as she pulled her even closer to her.

“There was a mention of daddy.”

“I’m going to fucking shove your head under the water and hold it there.”

God, Jennie could just hold the girl in her arms forever even if she wasn’t hers.

These moments made it worth it when she puckered her lips and Y/n gently kissed her.

The girl stupidly enough trusted Jennie.

It was more than Jennie making her walls crumble, Jennie had torn them down with force and given Y/n no other choice, but to trust her.

Those low lows were worth it when those highs came.

TAGSLIST! @yxlis @jisooftme @geeminz @lisas-earlobe @badaspookie @xszn @badasgff @hwm1hyun @herwhcre @lilacura @naycore / taglist is open

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megamindsecretlair · 4 months

Text

Break My Heart

Pairing: Javier Pena x Black!Fem!reader

Warnings: 18+. Minors DNI. You are in charge of your own reading experience. There is smut! PWP, PIV, size kink, kinda toxic, spanking, pet names. Non-inclusive language. Somes sentences are intentional AAVE. Apologies if I missed some.

Summary: You intended to spend New Year's Eve alone, per usual. But Javi's pestering convinced you to have a few drinks with the team. You want to remain strong and resist him but you aren't sure for how long.

Word Count: 3,421k

A/N: Ahhh, my first Pedro fic. This was intimidating! Even after watching more of the show. Be gentle, I'm sensitive 'bout it LOL. This was still fun and so hot and lordt, I need him so badly. Likes are always awesome. Please considering commenting and reblogging to help support writers!

Taglist: @nerdieforpedro @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @browngirldominion @thecookiebratz

“You’re coming to the bar with us, right?”

You looked up from your desk to see Javi hovering over you, entirely too close. He knows you hate that. He’s always crowding into your space. Leaning too close, leaning that sinful ass on your desk, or bending down to turn those puppy brown eyes on you.

He smelled like cigarettes and sweat. A combination that shouldn’t be so hot, but here you were.

“No,” you said with a smile.

“Come on, you’re hurting my feelings,” he said. He had a sleepy way of talking that immediately turned your thoughts dirty. Thinking of what he must sound like first thing in the morning. But that line of thinking was dangerous. You just hadn’t had a good fucking in a while.

“Aww, you don’t have any feelings, Javi,” you said. You gave him an extra sugary smile and he huffed a laugh and looked around the office. He leaned his ass against your desk and you sighed loudly for his benefit.

The office was noisy, filled with agents running around chasing down leads. With your complexion, you were relegated to the office. You were an agent in name only and it pissed you off. The higher ups thought that they could stick you in the ass end of South America and you’d quit.

Joke was on them. You loved the food here and there wasn’t a person alive that could get you to quit being an agent.

“Maybe I’d have some feelings if you finally agreed to go out with me,” Javi said.

You wrinkled your nose. You’d happily climb on Peña if he wasn’t such a slut. Not that you were in the market for commitment. The last thing you needed was to get caught up with someone, especially at work, when you were still trying to prove yourself to the agency.

“I wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole, Javi,” you said.

Javier only licked his lips and smiled. His fingers played with a cigarette but all of his attention was on you. “So, what, I need to find an eleven foot pole?”

You rolled your eyes and fought off your smirk. You didn’t need to encourage him. “What favor do you want this time, Javi?” You asked.

“I want you to finally say yes! We’ve been working together for years and you won’t even give me the time of day,” he said.

“Why would I do that?” You asked. Fuck it, the numbers were starting to swim in your head anyway. If Javi was good for anything, it was a distraction. You sat back in your seat and prepared yourself for the Javi show.

He smirked and turned those puppy eyes up to a thousand. “You know we’d be good together,” he said. His voice even got deeper.

You weren’t entirely immune to Javier Peña. There were more than a few times that you caught yourself staring at his ass. Or that damn black shirt that clung to him in all the right places. Your favorite time was when he got back to the office from chasing a lead all day. The way he got so flustered and sweaty. The way his hair would plaster to his head and he’d settle into the office with a deep sigh and a soft curse.

You looked away from him so he wouldn’t see the downright lust in your eyes. No, you were not immune to Javier Peña but everyone knew his vices. You were not trying to be another notch on his belt.

Your eyes roamed to the desk in front of you. In their infinite wisdom, the higher ups also put you in front of Javi and Murphy’s office. They thought it was real hilarious to wave the lonely Black woman in front of Javi the slut. They were itchin’ to ditch you. That also meant that no one else sat around here. The empty desk in front of you was a dumping ground for random files, donuts, or supplies.

There were times when people left random food there for anyone to snack on. Like now, there was a jar of pickles on the desk abandoned and swimming in pickle juice. You smirked and looked at Javi.

“Javi, there is no way on the green earth that I would entertain this,” you said.

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” He asked.

“Because you’re a pickle,” you said and smirked.

He laughed and shook his head. “What?”

“A pickle! You’re like…community pickle,” you said. You waved your hand for him to catch your drift. He just stared at you, patient, focused. It was unnerving to be on the other side of that look.

Your throat dried and you had the sudden urge to disappear. To leave that sight line. But you forged on. Maybe he’d get insulted and move on. “See that jar? You’re like those pickles. You’re on every burger, every sandwich, readily available,” you said.

Javier tilted his head. “Are you calling me a slut?”

“Your word, not mine,” you said.

“I didn’t take you for someone who listens to rumors,” Javi said.

You laughed. “Rumors? Javi, you scream it loud and clear for anyone to hear,” you said.

Javi waved your comment off. He looked around the office and then slid closer. You leaned back, scooting your chair back. He wore a denim shirt, open at the collar, and his tanned skin showed through. You brought your eyes back to his, though that wasn’t any better. He was a danger to your sanity.

“Come on. Have a drink with me,” he said.

You sighed and rubbed your head. “We already tried this, Javi,” you said.

“When?” He asked, sounding offended.

“Hmm, ‘bout six months after I got here. You asked me out, I said not on your life. We did that surveillance job together and you wore me down. Said let’s meet up and we never did,” you said.

Javi held his hand to his heart. “You’re killing me, princesa. I wouldn’t do that to you,” he said.

A shiver ran through you and you hated it. You had to be strong around this man, though you really, really didn’t want to. “I’m not mad, Javi, it’s just in your nature.” You stood up and placed your hand on his shoulder. It was a huge mistake, but you pretended to be nonchalant. You tapped his shoulder and walked around him.

You went to the wall of file cabinets and dug through for the next set of numbers you needed anyway. Javi followed you, getting even closer. He leaned against a cabinet and smiled.

“I think you’re just scared,” he said.

“Scared of what?” You asked.

“Getting close to us. To me,” he said. His eyes dropped to your mouth. You almost couldn’t believe his audacity.

You couldn’t help licking your lips and his eyes flicked up to yours. “If I go…”

“Yes!”

“If I go, you’re buying all of my drinks and you’re keeping your hands to yourself. Got it?” You asked.

“Scout’s honor,” he said.

“You’ve never been a fuckin’ Boy Scout,” you said.

Javi shrugged and smirked. “You never asked,” he said. He walked backwards, looking at you with that satisfied, smug smile on his face. “See you tonight!”

Why not, it was New Year’s after all.

Later that night, you were nervously walking up to the bar. It was a bar friendly enough to Americans. The air was balmy but comfortable and you opted for a short purple dress and short heels. Your purse swung on your shoulder and you mentally prepared yourself to see Javi off the clock.

You knew that other people would be there and you weren’t expecting any funny business, but it was still nerve wracking. You made a career of being ice cold because that was all anyone expected of you. The minute you laughed or - goodness forbid - showed a personality, the guys suddenly remembered that you were a woman.

You walked inside to a raucous mix of Spanish and English. The words hit you even over the loud music, drinks clinking, and general rowdiness of the bar. You found your group easy enough. They took up an entire corner of the bar. Murphy saw you first. The huge white boy stuck out even more than you did but he seemed to make it work, despite not knowing a lick of Spanish.

He waved you over and you approached the table. Some of the other guys looked you over. Look it over, boys. You inwardly smiled. You knew that you had a great figure that you hid under ugly and boring business suits. It was rare that you got to go out in something pretty for once, so you might have spruced things up more than usual.

Javi turned to see you, his eyes roaming over your outfit, and you felt the tips of your ears burn. You sat down, immediately swiping Javi’s beer and taking a sip. He let you, still not having said a word.

“Find this place okay?” Murphy asked.

You nodded. “Surprised to see you out too!” You had to yell over the noise but he heard you.

“Only to show my face. Gonna head home and celebrate with the missus,” he said.

You nodded. You turned your attention to Javi who still hadn’t said anything. “Mad I stole your drink, Javi?”

Like waking from a stupor, Javi shook his head. “Who knew there was a girl under there,” he said.

You shoved him and rolled your eyes but laughed along with the table. “I’m surprised you can recognize one with her clothes on,” you said.

The guys at the table erupted into laughter. Javi’s personal activities were a well-known fact by this point. Javi waved everyone off.

“Since we’re laughing, we might as well laugh about the prank on poor Murphy,” Javi said.

Your eyes rounded as Javi betrayed you to Murphy. Murphy’s jaw dropped as he looked at you. “That was you?”

“That was all Javi’s idea!”

“You stand there and accuse me, but where were you at the time?” Oh, he sounded so innocent and wounded.

You tried to kick him under the table but he moved his leg at the last moment. “I was…” You tried to think of a good excuse for your whereabouts as you hid Murphy’s things while Javi kept him distracted. It was an innocent prank, but it had Murphy in a panic.

Everyone snickered and laughed while Murphy hunted and stalked around the office. It was a team effort and you tried to convey that without words while you looked at Javi.

“Wow, real nice,” Murphy said with a smile.

At least he was a sport about it. You glared at Javi but he only smirked. Ass. But it was the icebreaker you needed. The other guys warmed up to you and began to tell you wild stories about their hunt for the elusive Pablo Escobar. It seemed like no matter what they tried, Pablo already bought his way several steps ahead.

You listened as they told you the sanitized version of some of the skirmishes they got into. How they found people connected to Pablo but each one was too scared to speak. How they were trying to work with the local police but Pablo had more than half of them on the payroll.

It made you sick that someone could just pay their way to the top like that. It wasn’t lost on any of you that one wrong move and it was your ass.

True to his word, Javi kept his hands to himself for the most part. He bought you drink after drink, until you finally had to stop and drink some water before you ended up stumbling home. No thank you. You did not need the hangover in the morning, celebrating the new year or not.

Javi did other things. He shifted in his seat and always managed to brush against your bare leg. He would turn his whole body towards you when you were speaking and then turn completely around when you weren’t. He was driving you nuts and you wanted to smack him.

“What is your deal?” You whispered to him while the other guys were preoccupied with Murphy leaving.

“You!” He said.

“Me?!” You smacked his arm. He rubbed his legs and took a deep swig of his beer.

“Wearing that!” He hissed.

“What are you talking about?” Murphy was making his way around the table, saying goodbye individually. Any minute, he would make it to your side.

“I just want to…rip that damn dress off. You tell me to keep my hands to myself and you come in wearing that,” he said.

You reared back as if he’d slapped you. Javi had dabbled in harmless flirting since you met him. It was just how he interacted with women. Truly, you didn’t hold it against him. But the way he was acting right now…it was a mistake coming here.

Because of the drinks you had, the atmosphere, the celebratory mood…you suddenly couldn’t remember why you were fighting this man so hard.

“It’s just a dress, Javi,” you breathed. Your heartbeat sped up in your chest, thumping in your chest painfully. Your hands shook and you rubbed the tips of your fingers together.

“Like hell…” Javi started. Murphy made his way to the end of the table, shaking Javi’s hand and giving you a hug.

“See you in the office.”

You smiled at Murphy but you had no way of remembering what you said. Your eyes were on Javi. His eyes were on you.

“I’ll be back, bathroom,” you said. You scooped up your purse from the table and disappeared down the short hallway towards the bathrooms. The dim lights were actually a blessing.

You didn’t want to think about how you looked at the moment. You didn’t want to see if you looked as needy as you felt. You didn’t want your dirty thoughts projected all over your face for anyone to pick up on.

You were careful. You were smart. You avoided Peña like the plague and you didn’t need to be here right now.

A knocking on the door tore you from your spirling thoughts. “A second!”

The knocking continued obnoxiously and you finally had to approach the door and open it a crack. “I said–”

Javi pushed into the room, closing and locking the door behind him. “Javi!”

Javi slammed his lips against yours, groaning once you made contact. You melted instantly, wrapping your hands around his shoulders and molding your body against his. He groaned low in his throat and pulled up your dress. His fingers dragged along your thighs and you sighed.

You were chasing relief. Your skin was feverish. The wet heat of the night did not mix well with the cheap beer you consumed. You felt like you were crawling out of your skin with a red hot need. Need for Javier fucking Peña of all people.

“Tell me to stop, princesa,” he groaned against your lips.

“Don’t you fuckin’ dare,” you moaned. His thick fingers were working magic on you, dagging along your skin and igniting a fire in your veins. His fingers found your panties and he yanked them down, nearly snapping the flimsy fabric. You kicked them off to the side, not caring where they ended up.

Your hands worked furiously to unbuckle his belt, unbutton his jeans, and slide that zipper down. Your hands reached in eagerly, palming him, and he groaned. His lips descended on your neck, biting and licking away the gathering sweat.

You shoved his pants down low enough to free that dangerous dick you heard so much about. He was long and thick, easily backing up his claims. You see why he had so much sex. He was practically built for it. Sculpted for it. He was forged by the gods to hand deliver pleasure.

His hands squeezed your hips, slipping down to your ass to grab and pinch and yank closer to his body. He lifted your leg and placed it over his hip. He rubbed the tip of his dick through your slick folds. He moaned and bit your neck.

“Fuck, princesa. Have you been sitting there wet for me?” His voice was so deep and dark and filthy in this dim bathroom.

“Whole time,” you said, licking his lips and pulling him by the hair for another kiss. For a taste of those lips soaked in beer and cigarettes and something uniquely spicy and all Javi.

He groaned and finally shoved in roughly. Your head fell back against the wall as you cried out. He was so big and it had been so long and fuck, he felt so good. Why did you deny yourself this? Why would you do that?

You panted in his ear as he slid out and then shoved back in. He was fucking you. There was nothing sweet about how hard he gripped your thighs, how roughly he fucked into you, or how loudly he groaned against your chest. He licked the top of your breasts, the part exposed from the cleavage of your dress.

Javi sped up as if he couldn’t help himself. As if he needed to keep going, needed to stake his claim. He lifted your leg higher, spreading you wider, as he continued to pound into your pussy.

“Oh fuck, Javi,” you moaned.

“Say it again, princesa. Again,” he moaned.

“Javi, Javi,” you moaned as he pounded into you so fiercely, you were seeing stars as you came. Flooding his dick with your arousal. Filling up the tiny room with shrieks and screams. It was drowned out by the ruckus of the bar. Noise exploded as you assumed it finally turned midnight.

This was a hell of a way to ring in the new year.

“Love feelin’ this pussy, princesa,” Javi moaned. He slipped out and you cried out, needing him back inside. He kissed your cheek and smirked. “I wanna see that ass.”

He flipped you over. He shoved you against the low sink to your right. Your hands gripped the porcelain as he thrust back inside. You bit your lip and moaned lewdly. You didn’t give a fuck who heard.

Javi smacked your ass once, twice, three times as he continued to rut inside of you. You looked up at the dirty mirror and looked at his gorgeous, focused face as he pounded you into oblivion.

“Fuck, fuck, right there, Javi,” you moaned. You brought your hand back to dig into his hair. You gripped his fine brown hair and pulled. Javi groaned and licked the shell of your ear, nibbling on it while his hips slapped into yours.

“Javi, I’m–”

“Shh, shh, let me feel it,” he whispered in your ear. You finally exploded once more, cumming with a sharp vengeance that robbed you of all breath. Javi thrusted two more times before joining you, moaning as he unloaded inside of you.

His cum stuffed you and he thrusted at least once more time with a groan. He dropped against you, kissing the back of your neck and shoulder. Your legs were noodles. Your thighs shook as you calmed down from such a rough fucking.

Screwing Javi was absolutely everything you imagined and it sucked. It was like tasting paradise knowing you’ll never return. It was cruel and you hung your head thinking about what everyone was going to say.

Something like this? Office fodder. And once they got a hold of it, they were not going to let you live it down. They would give him hi-fives and they would judge the hell out of you. Although with his dick still inside you, you couldn’t bring yourself to care too much.

Javi softened and slipped out of you. You cleaned yourselves up in silence. It was like that wild, crazy and burning need was finally sated. You could think straight for once, see more clearly and breathe easier.

Javi zipped himself back up and you retrieved your panties, stuffing them into your purse. Javi sidled up to you, pulling your hips until you were too close.

“You don’t have to do this, Javi,” you said.

Javi nuzzled your neck and placed a soft kiss there. “Maybe I want to do it,” he said.

“You know this was the first and only time, right?” There was enough light to see him smirk.

“We just gettin’ started, princesa,” he said with a wink.

The Secret Javier Pena Files - not sure if there will be more, but never say never.

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