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aotsimmer · 3 years

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Our Future

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader/OC

Words: 1.2K

Genre: Fluff, comfort, and some sprinkles of Angst.

Warnings: Mention of death. Serious conversations. Also bad grammar... most likely. Sorry.

Summary: There was a question that had always plagued Eden since joining the scouts. So, she asked Levi the question: what happens after the titans?

A/N: It’s just some creative vomit I spewed out because creativity struck me when I needed to do homework. Also, it’s easier to write an OC character than for a Y/N character. Don’t worry, Eden is a tall Y/N with a name. Also another thing, a warning on grammar and stuff. I’m not the best writer but I’m trying my best. Will try to edit it when I feel embarrassed about this piece. (Probably in a few days.)

Also apologies if Levi came out OOC. I’m learning how to write his character.

Enjoy!

“What’s your plan after we exterminate the titans? Once they’re gone?”

Eden had been thinking about their future for quite a while. Humanity’s future. Once the titans were exterminated and the bane of their existence gone, what will happen then? Eden knew that leaving everything behind once that happened will be impossible if not unrealistic. So, she wondered what will happen to the scouts. Will they continue to survey lands? Explore past their horizons? Conquer land again?

She had asked Levi the question. She wanted to know what future he hoped for if such a scenario happened. What will he do? Will he continue being part of the Survey Corps? Did he plan to be a soldier all his life? Where did she fit in his ideal future?

“… I haven’t thought that far ahead…” Levi answered honestly after thinking about it. He was sitting by the table in her room, drinking tea while he kept her company during their weekend break. His gaze had been focused on that day’s newspaper and he had been frowning and muttering about how much someone was an idiot for doing Walls knows what.

Eden hummed in thought at his answer before finally nodding. Accepting the answer before letting the conversation drop. She picked up her discarded book and didn’t notice her lover stare at her in thought. Eden started to become engrossed in the fictional romance again when her reading was abruptly interrupted by him clearing his throat. She looked up and raised an eyebrow while she waited for him to speak. Levi looked away from her, ears and cheeks turning red at the sudden attention she was giving him.

“… Maybe… A tea shop in a town… far away from the walls…” He mumbled into his teacup. Distracting himself from her gaze.

Eden smiled. She had not expected him to think about her question. She put her book down and gave him her full attention. His eyes widened, and immediately gave her that face he made when he was embarrassed by her attention.

“It’s not a bad idea, I like it. It suits you.” She stated. Looking for another specific reaction of his.

“Does it?” He almost whispered.

“Yes. Will I be able to visit?”

He turned to her quickly. A frown forming on his already naturally scowling face before he opened his mouth to spew his words at her.

“What are you on about? You’re coming with me, idiot. Or what? A tea shop is not up to your standards?”

Eden thought they had gotten over the topic of her “noble” status after the last argument they had about it. She frowned at his defensive words, feeling offended that he brought it up.

“Do I look that shallow to you? I thought we had gone past this. That’s not it you idiot…” She paused before she looked away, “I just wasn’t sure if I had a part in your future…”

Levi’s frown quickly relaxed. Eden couldn’t look at him without feeling embarrassed of the implication of her words. Preoccupied on overthinking her words she did not see him move from the table but felt the bed dip in front of her. She refused to look at him.

“Forgive me. I assumed you didn’t… want to be part of it…”

Eden sighed and looked over to him. Levi’s cheeks were red again, but his eyes held that sincere look. It spoke more words to her than he ever could. She softly smiled again and grabbed his hand. She stayed silent for a few moments before she cleared her throat.

“I see myself in that tea shop far away from the walls, living in a small cottage with you… far away from the pompous lifestyles of the interior… spending the rest of our lives there, serving tea. I could make paintings and sell them if they’re good enough. Maybe we could have a pet, or I don’t know… maybe adopt or have children of our own if you’re up for it-“

“Children are messy.”

“Or no children is fi-“

“I didn’t say I didn’t want any… just that they’re messy... and a lot of work....”

Eden chuckled and kissed Levi’s hand before she sighed happily. Levi let go of her hand for her cheek, caressing it softly before cupping it and running his thumb over it adoringly.

“Point is I see our future together… Once all of this is over and we can live to honor our friends and comrades, I want to see our dreams come true.”

“And what if something happens and our dream changes?”

Eden pretended to think before she answered him. Already knowing the answer.

“Then we improvise. A few changes along to the way won’t hurt.”

“And if we die? Or one of us does?” Eden smiled sadly, laying her hand over his.

“Always a possibility… Well, if we both die then the plan went straight to shit… But if one of us is dead, then we’ll just have to live for the other. Although I will very much like to be alive to grow old with you…”

The conversation was long overdue between them. Levi often avoided the topic of death or any topic that involved one of them missing. He also avoided any conversation that involved the future or plans of the future. It surprised Eden slightly that he had continued to speak about it with her and indulged her on the topic. It made her feel at ease now that a few things were out in the open.

“… Will you live for me… If I die?” She suddenly asked.

The look in his eyes was enough to break her heart. He pulled away but took her hand in his before speaking with the most determined voice she had ever heard him direct at her.

“I will… will you? Will you live for me?” If I die, was the unspoken part.

Eden sucked in a breath before holding his hand as tightly as he did. She pulled it to her heart before she looked directly at his blue-grey eyes. Promising it.

“I will. I promise.”

“Good.”

There was a heavy silence between them. Then Levi cracked it.

“Good… I’m a horrible painter.” Eden chuckled. The tenseness lifted.

“And I’m a horrible cleaner. Guess that leaves us with the only option of living, doesn’t it?”

“Not a horrible cleaner. You’re a shit cleaner. Can’t believe I even fell in love with you with how horribly you clean.”

Eden laughed, and let him go. Levi stood from the bed and made his way to the cooling kettle. He clicked his tongue as he frowned at it before looking over to her. Already grabbing the tray to take it to the kitchens.

“I’m going to make some new tea. This is going to taste like cold shit if I continue drinking it.”

Eden grabbed her book again and opened it to where she left off. She looked up as she saw her short significant other open the door and walk out, sending him off to his important mission with a simple, “I’ll be waiting,” before he closed the door. She sighed and leaned back onto the wall, book in hand. She was really looking forward to their future.

#levi x oc #levi x reader #levi ackerman x oc #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #levi aot #aot fanfiction #aot scenario #female oc #snk x oc #snk x reader #snk fanfiction #snk levi #levi fluff #levi angst #levi comfort

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royallyprincesslilly · 3 years

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Title: Cosmic {1}

Lewis Tan x OFC Jupiter Azari

Warning: Plot, Cursing, Flirting, POV Changes, Fake Social Media Inserts

Words: 4k

Summary: Lewis has been single for three years after a stifling relationship that ended because of his reluctance to make a strong enough commitment. In that time, he’s focused on his career and living his life to the fullest. His goal was to have worthwhile experiences and make lasting connections. He’s got the experiences part down, but he’s never felt any sort of lasting connection until he’d seen your posts. After months of stalking your Instagram, he can’t stop thinking about you and decides to take a chance. Maybe it was time for him to take a chance on something new.

Note: *Sigh* Another one, I know. *Deeper Sigh*. I apologize for the blurriness in some of the FAKE IG DMs. I’ve been working on this for so long, and finally, I can post a little something for it. Please tell me what you think. I am so excited to hear your thoughts.

Thank you guys so much for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊❤️❤️

***Loosely Edited/ Proofread***

***Interactive***

***Fake IG Post Creations***

-Lewis-

He’d been single for a long time now. Three years. He’d been in a serious relationship for twice as long, so the math was right to him. There was no lying that he missed some of the advantages of relationships and having someone to journey through life’s ups and downs with. He missed things such as intimate dinner dates, entwining his fingers with someone else’s and relishing the feel of skin against skin, getting to know someone almost as well as he knew himself, and deep, fulfilling conversations. One of the most significant things he missed was companionship.

He knew he was not an unattractive guy. He also knew that being who he was, he could meet people effortlessly have a series of no strings attached romances where his physical needs were minimally satisfied for a short time. That was not a problem, but he’d long realized that was never enough for him. He needed more—a lot more. His busy schedule didn’t help matters at all, either. He was either on a flight every week or going between fight practice, meetings, filming, and a lot more. It took time to nourish a relationship and mold it so it could blossom into something strong and beautiful, time he just didn’t have. It was a simple fact—or so he thought.

More and more, he’d been feeling as if maybe he could make that time; maybe he could find a way to have the highly sought after satisfying professional life but also that deeply fulfilling personal life. Maybe it was possible without having something or someone fall to the side. He began to think maybe he was ready to address his other needs.

Groaning, he looked at the clock beside him. Two o’clock. Rolling out of bed, he walked into his bathroom. The day before was a long one; he hadn’t gotten in until nearly three in the morning. This was the first day in several that he’d been able to get more than seven hours of sleep. His body was telling him something. After tackling his hygiene routine, he pulled on a pair of his athletic quick-dry leggings and shorts then made his way to the back of his beach house.

It was another beautiful day in Spain, and he was ready to carpe diem the hell out of it—after he got his jog in. As he ran his standard four miles, his mind wandered to a variety of topics. He ran down his schedule for the next few days, went over his goals for the month, and made mental notes of things he needed to get done for the week. He believed in discipline, and the utmost show of discipline was having some over one’s life. Perhaps it was something he learned from his father as he trained in martial arts, or maybe it was a life lesson he’d picked up after so many years in the industry, both working and associating.

By the time he plopped down onto the cool sand, almost two hours had passed, and he was sweaty and out of breath. He panted while gaping at the softy rolling waves and the faint sounds of the seagulls. It was a sight to be seen, one he was appreciative of. As he was getting lost in the view, a reminder popped up on his phone.

*Social Media update*

Sighing, he opened up his Instagram account and scrolled through his feed. If he didn’t set reminders for himself about social media, he would forget it entirely. He was one of those people who preferred to live life unfiltered and didn’t see a need to blog or vlog every little thing. He liked to share meaningful things. On the other hand, his team made it a priority for him to do more than share meaningful things. Their motto is if you’re not being seen or talked about, your brand and existence are inconsequential.

So, four times a day, he had reminders set up. The plan was to engage with his fans while showing his personality. His agent’s exact words were; “Show the world what a swoon-worthy guy Lewis Tan is.”

Just as he clicked over to his drafts, he registered her face. Quickly he tapped back onto his feed and on her recent post. It was an incredibly artistic photo of what could have been the universe, or even the mind’s third eye, or possibly a woman giving birth. It was just that subjective, but it was done in a way that made it seem as if you were looking through a kaleidoscope. He sat there marveling at the first photo, not even realizing there were three more that accompanied it.

As he swiped through them, his mind was further blown. Each one gave off a psychedelic vibe. When he got to the last one, he found himself sighing out at the sight of her. The caption was, “Art is subjective; who do you see?” Her face was one that easily held someone captive. Her eyes were impossibly deep and inviting. They drew him in, in a haunting and mysterious way. Even her username was creative as fuck. JupiterFallingToEarth.

He’d spent weeks following her activity. She posted every day about once a day, sometimes two, and her posts ranged from artistic shots of landscapes, items, herself, and then she also posted products and fashion. It was clear she was a lifestyle blogger, and according to some of her posts, she was probably an influencer of some sort. There was something about her that drew him in from the first post he accidentally came across. That was four months ago.

Since then, he’d practically stalked her page. The second he got a notification that she’d posted something, he was looking at it soon after. When he saw her stories, they always put a smile on his face. She was effortlessly adorable and sexy at the same time. It was a contradiction but one that you wore well. He didn’t know if he’d turned into one of those guys he’d seen countless times on Instagram. The ones who stalked a woman’s page and liked every single one of her posts and left vague comments under her pictures that could come off as creepy. He feared he had turned into that man.

His interactions with her hadn’t gone to creepy lengths. He’d liked most of your posts, never commented because gossip was a real thing in his world, but liked other people’s comments under your posts. Sometimes he’d even tune in if you were on lives, and every time he watched, he was always filled with an urge to know you—really. He wondered if you’d even noticed he’d liked your pictures or if you’d gone to his page from curiosity to get lost in his content. One thing was sure; you’d never liked any of his posts. He’d noticed.

“Get a fucking grip, man.”

To help him on his way, he dropped his phone in the sand and ran to the waves hoping the water would do the trick. The coldness of the water shocked him, but it was a welcomed shock. Swimming further out to sea, he fought against the tide. Though he was exhausted, and his limbs were damn near numb, he pushed himself for just a little longer.

Ten minutes later, he dropped back onto the sand by his belongings while trying to catch his breath. That swim had his adrenaline surging competing with his exhaustion. Grabbing his phone, he went back to his drafts. Rather than posting one of them, he took a few shots of himself as he was dripping wet and all. Deciding on a relaxed-looking one, he prepped it to post. Before he did, though, he added a caption.

With it posted, he hopped to it. After a quick shower, he was off to tackle the day. On the agenda were three meetings for some brands that wanted him to work with them. The first up was a local Spanish sunglass brand, Vosotros. Throughout the meeting, he could tell that the campaign that they wanted to do was centered around bodies. Since the brand translated to the word “you,” their pitch was why not focus on everyone’s best selling feature—their body. It was a bit shallow for him, but the product was nice, and the pay was equally as appealing.

After signing the contract, he moved to the second meeting. This one was for a couture men’s wear brand, Alma. This one he was familiar with. He’d worn many of their suits. They were comfortable but stylish and made from the best fabrics. He always felt like a million bucks when he wore them. This one was a no-brainer for him, and the compensation was the icing on the cake.

Right before the third meeting began, he found he was running a little bit empty. The last time he’d had a meal was the night before. Before the meeting started, he pulled out his phone with the intent to figure out what was nearby so he could refuel once the meeting was finished. Once he saw the notifications, he opened up Instagram just to glance at them, but after scrolling through the eight thousand, among them, he found her name. Thinking he’d seen things, he scrolled all the way back to the top to refresh it, then scrolled back down, and sure enough, there it was.

She’d liked six of his posts back to back. He couldn’t stop the wide grin that spread across his face. It was so broad that anyone would have thought he’d never gotten a like in his life. He spent the next few minutes going through which posts she’d liked. Each one made him smile wider and wider. By the time the prospective employers walked in, he was refueled enough to carry him through the rest of the day.

~~~~~~~~~~

-Y/N-

You’d finally bit the bullet. After four months of seeing the notifications on every one of your posts that he’d liked it or liked a comment under; it was about time. Right? The truth was you noticed each of them. The first time you got the notification, you almost fell out of your seat. You knew who he was because you’d seen one or two things that he’d been in and always thought he was hot, but of course, it was in passing. After the second notification of his like, you rushed to his page to go through each of his posts and found yourself salivating over every picture.

After about half an hour, you got snapped back to your senses. The odds of it being him were slim to none. While you knew many celebrities liked to troll social media for their next piece of ass or entertainment, you never got that vibe from him. You deduced it must have been either a fan page or catfish at its best. So what did you do? Ignored it.

You ignored every notification and did your best to shrug off the basal instinct that had your belly fluttering. In total, you had nearly two hundred posts, and he’d liked each and every one of them. It was a lot of ignoring. Today though, something came over you, and that something had you going to his page to see his new post. You couldn’t do anything else but stare. The truth was your finger slipped to tap the heart, and once you did, you tapped it again to unlike, but you knew once a like went through, you couldn’t take it back. Your only option was to deal with it. You dealt with it by liking five more of his pictures. Go big or go home, right.

After ten minutes, you were still lamenting over if you should have or shouldn’t have. The internal conflict in you was high, especially when you began to kick yourself for overthinking it. There was no way it was really him. It was impossible. With that in mind, you calmed yourself enough to meet up with your friends. After pressing mute on your notifications, you proceeded to get yourself ready. It had been a good week since you and your friends had gotten the opportunity to hang out due to your busy schedules.

When you were more than halfway there, your excitement began bubbling. When the four of you got together, it was always a good time. As soon as the Lyft dropped you off at the restaurant, a new construction that all four of you were dying to try, you were more than ready to eat, drink, and laugh. You stood outside for a few moments to admire the chosen exterior décor. It was an intricate mix of modern and seaside charm. It definitely was something different for the neighborhood.

Walking inside past a line of about twelve or so people, you marveled at the entrance of the restaurant. Whoever designed it truly did a fabulous job. It was featured in the papers as one of the best new restaurants to try out in the downtown area. The way they’d incorporated indoor plants seriously captivated your attention.

“Welcome to Creator, my name is Kenji,” began the host who towered over you by like eight inches and bore green-hazel eyes. He was cute. “Do you have a reservation?” His smile was wide, and it showed off that his two front teeth were bigger than all the others. He made it work, though.

“Yes. I believe my party is already here. I’m not sure who it’s under, though.”

Kenji scanned the list of names on the iPad before her. As he did that, you scrolled through your texts to find the details that Zoë sent you. After a few short moments, he glanced back at you. After you found the reservation name, you rolled your eyes. Your friends thought they were funny.

“Found it?”

“Yes, and I apologize in advance,” you began. Kenji, the host, wrinkled his brow, not getting it. He would, though.

Clearing your throat, held your head high, then spoke. “Punani Dasani.”

Kenji’s eyes widened, then he pinched his lips tightly before he nodded and tapped a few keys on the iPad.

“Wow. Eh-em. Yep, they’re here.”

Nodding, you dropped your phone back into your clutch. When you looked back up, you caught Kenji’s eyes glued to your cleavage. When his eyes met yours, the embarrassment in them was obvious. Dipping his head, he signaled for you to follow him.

The two of you walked through the restaurant under low hung plants, vines, and flowers. It was like walking through the garden of Adam and Eve. That must be what the owner had in mind when naming it Creation. It was clever, you thought. Just then, Kenji approached the table with your three friends. Once they saw you, they made a loud “Skeee” sound bringing the attention to those nearby. You couldn’t take them anywhere.

“You guys think you’re funny with the reservation name?”

They all laughed at you as you dipped down and greeted each of them with cheek kisses.

“How did he look at you? From the way he keeps looking back, I can bet he wanted to sample that punani Dasani,” Tati joked to each of their delight.

They were a trip, always had been. You, Tati, Monaè, and Zoë had been friends since high school and somehow managed to remain tight even though you each went your separate ways to different colleges. You each had spent two years apart until you came back together to finish your final two years of university together.

“Don’t be mad. He wasn’t that cute anyway,” Monaè said, opening the menu before her.

Cold-hearted, you thought as you did the same. Dinner progressed with laughs and stories of your days and recent happenings in your lives. As you ate, you decided to forget everything else and just enjoy yourself. You were in desperate need of a girl’s night, so you vowed to enjoy it fully.

The food was delicious. Somehow they’d managed to make it taste healthy but also savory and completely indulgent. You felt as if every bite you took added thirty pounds, but you knew it wasn’t possible. The flavors all melded together so well that you wanted to send a message to the chef, letting them know they’d done well.

After a deeply fulfilling meal, the four of you piled into a Lyft and made it to your favorite club, Surge. The music in the club was so loud that you could feel it bouncing inside of you. After getting your first round of drinks, the dancing began, and when the four of you got together with drinks and music, it was always an event. You jumped into the middle of your circle and busted out your wine. Tati grabbed your phone from your hands and began recording you. Ignoring the camera and the gathering crowd, you allowed the alcohol to do its job and take you away.

When you heard your friends cheering you on, you decided to really bust out your moves. Dropping to the floor, you did your best twerk. Holding your drink in the air, you began to wine your hips as you stood. It was one of your favorite moves. When you turned around, you saw Tati up close and personal. Slapping your hand in front of the lens, you giggled as you took your phone back to end the recording.

“Jesus girl, those hips definitely don’t lie,” Monaè teased, making all your friends laugh.

From behind, you felt someone approach you and place their hand on your waist. Turning, you gave him the rays of death with your stare telling him to back off. As quickly as he’d had the audacity to put his hand on you, he took it off just as quickly and backed away.

“And don’t come back,” Zoë shouted.

By the time you made it back home, it was three in the morning, and your feet hurt almost as much as your ass did. After leaving the club, the four of you had an impromptu photo shoot that lasted almost forty-five minutes and ended with you on your ass at the bottom of the pile once you’d tried some ridiculous cheerleading pose trying to relive your high school days. Big mistake.

After a quick shower that had you almost falling asleep a few times, you dove into your bed, ready for some well-deserved rest. Just as you’d gotten comfortable, your phone’s alarm went off. Groaning, you reached over the edge of the bed, grabbing your bag to rifle through it. With your phone in hand, you blearily stared at the harsh light making your eyes feel as if they hadn’t closed in days rather than hours. You went to your alarm to turn it off, deciding that your routine dawn photo expedition would have to be rescheduled. You were too exhausted.

Just as you were going to toss it away, you saw the notification of messages on Instagram. Your curiosity got the better of you, and you slid it down to get a preview. Through the blur in your eyes, you saw an icon that looked familiar. Tapping it, you nearly swallowed your tongue when you saw Lewis Tan’s image. Bolting upright, you coughed and slid to brace your back on your headboard.

“What the--!”

The minute you saw it, you couldn’t believe your eyes. He’d send you a message. Chewing your bottom lip, you studied the time he’d sent it—over four hours ago. You then realized he’d see that you saw it, and you debated in your head if you should reply.

“Jesus, get it together. Just say something simple,” you coached.

It was weak, but it was the best you had. You wondered if he would think it was weak too. As you obsessed about that, you also realized just how late it was. You’d responded to a DM at booty call hours. Rolling your eyes, you slouched back on your headboard. Your eyelids were heavy, and they drooped, trying to tell you something. Once they closed, your phone chimed that elaborate tone for your notifications.

Why had you responded? It was clear this was some fan page who either was using his image to catfish or gain followers. You never responded to questionable DMs, and this was as questionable as they got.

Even though you were still fighting your sleep, part of you was intrigued.

Flipping your smart TV on, and you turned to the Netflix app and found something for background noise.

Nibbling your bottom lip, you thought for a few moments. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol that had you thinking this deeply or if it was something else.

You snorted and shook your head. “He’s really going down with the ship, huh.”

This was always the reaction when anyone found out your name. They were always shocked and speechless. Usually, you got a few corny jokes or mentions about your favorite planet must be Jupiter or bring up some astronomy fact that was always wrong. It was annoying. You braced yourself for some equally corny mention from him.

The corny mention never came.

Your heart fluttered, and you couldn’t help but cheese from his compliment. You hadn’t expected it. Though you tried to stop smiling, you couldn’t. There was something about his words. It wasn’t like you’d never heard sweet words before. You had. This shouldn’t have been any different.

The exhaustion began to take a more significant hold, and you slid lower, tucking your comforter underneath your chin.

Filming? What the heck was he talking about, you wondered. He was really taking this shit a little too far.

You bolted upright again. Was he seriously going to take this that far?

He was insane, absolutely mental. You were so damn ready to end this. One thing you hated was dishonesty. You especially hated being toyed with.

There was no way that he could prove it. What was he going to do?

He thought you were an idiot. He must have. Your anger was rising.

Rolling your eyes, you tossed your phone beside you. You knew the chances of him passing this test were slim to none. You couldn’t believe that you’d given up the last thirty minutes of sleep for this. Groaning, you dropped back down, determined to drift away to sleep. Almost two minutes passed before you heard your chime again. Fighting the urge, you turned to your side, trying your best to ignore the fact that you knew he’d sent something.

After two minutes of curiosity killing you, you flung your hand back, grabbed your phone while flipping onto your back. You held your phone above your face, opened the app, and there he was.

Your jaw dropped, and your eyes drank in every inch and rippling ab. Jesus, you thought. As you were bringing your phone closer, you didn’t register that a video call was coming in. without even realizing it, you answered, and the same image you’d been looking at moments ago was now live. The only difference was the frame wasn’t as low to show his incredible abs. It cut right at his chest, giving you a peek at his dark, dusty rose nipples. You were utterly frozen. He smiled and raked his hand through his hair before he bit onto his bottom lip. It was Lewis fucking Tan.

“Enough proof for you?” He smiled, and that was when your phone slipped and fell right in your face.

“Fuck, owww!”

The pain was so strong you were tearing up. Rolling to the side, you rubbed your face, then searched for your phone. When you got to it, the video call had ended, showing you your home screen.

You began to freak out. “Oh my god, oh my god! What the fuck! What the fuck! What the fuck!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#cosmic fic #lewis tan #lewis tan fanfiction #lewis tan x black reader #lewis tan x you #lewis tan x reader #black fanfiction #slow burn fanfic

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closer-stars · 4 years

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Good Thing - Mingi (Epilogue)

Member: Mingi Genre: Fluff Requested: Sort of? Word Count: ~2k Content: Just Y/N and Mingi in the work life. Good vibes. Note: Yay an epilogue as requested by some of you haha. I didn’t really think i’d be making one but here we are.

Music plays from the speakers in a low lull. The male leans forward as he listens closely to what he and his team have been making over the past few days. So far, they’ve been able to create a handful of rough drafts of what the artist wants, though so far none of them have made Mingi think that it could be it. Two knocks on the door and he lowers the volume, and presses pause on the software. “Yeah?” He calls out, the editing software still present on the screen.

“Can I come in?”

He turns in his chair, relieved to hear your voice come from the door. He’s greeted by your smile. He also notes that you were in your dance attire, which could only mean you were teaching a routine later on. He pulls another chair next to him, patting the empty seat. “Thank god it’s you. If it was anyone from my team, I would’ve lost it.” He jokes, much to your amusement. As you settle yourself down next to him, he steals a kiss on your cheek, getting a whiff of his favorite perfume on you.

Truth be told, both of you didn’t officially become together until a year or two later. Post graduation blues, the stress of looking for a job and overall just trying to get to know the other better being just some of the things that hindered the two of you from doing so. Fortunately for the two of you, it worked out in the end. Even better is that both of you are working under the same company.

Your eyes quickly catch the exhaustion under his eyes, hours of staring at the computer over the smallest beats really did a number on him. You also note his outfit, the only time he’s in a button up is when he’s expecting guests, which could be the artists based on the name of the file. “I brought some food cause we both know you forget to eat now.” You tease lightheartedly. Pork belly and various other side dishes from his favorite restaurant down the street. “I wasn’t able to get your favorite noodles since they ran out for the day.” You explain as you set the bag of food to the side, away from all the technology in front of you.

“Now it’s you taking care of me? Oh how the tables have turned.” Mingi muses, eyeing the food. He pushes himself away from his work table, settling himself in front of the food you bought. “Eat with me?” He knows you can’t say no to that. Even if you now lived together, schedules were so hectic nowadays that the only times both of you could bond were over a meal or in bed. It was great that both of you were under the same company but not so much that both of you could barely see each other unless it was for a meal. “Love, you bought food that’s more than enough for three people.” He notes as he brings each container out of the bag.

You laugh, dragging the wheeled chair towards where he is to help him out in setting up the meal. “That’s the point, love. You eat more than I can and it’s also to make sure you don’t eat less than usual while working.” You learned early in your relationship that he has a tendency to eat less when he’s riding the creative high. You wondered if he got this habit from his colleague, Hongjoong.

Too elated at the sight of his favorites, he steals another kiss, this time on your lips. He was always the more physically affectionate one between the two of you. “I love you.” He says, grateful for this.

You return the kiss before he’s out of reach. “Anything for you. Now eat and tell me how your work has been.”

That’s what happens between the two of you for the next three hours: eating and discussing his work, your work, the artists in the company, the auditionees who look promising, and everything under the sun. “There’s this one trainee who reminds me a lot of you. I’m hoping you get to meet them soon.” You say, tone a little soft and endeared. The young trainee’s vigor reminds you so much of Mingi, his tendency to cheer for his fellow trainees with pats on the back and head pats. Your tone makes Mingi crack up.

“Wait until they meet someone like you.” He teases and before you could shoot a retort at him, he manages to shoot a small pork belly wrap in your mouth. “Three points.” He hums, delighted to take you by surprise like old times. You glower at him as you chew through the food. As you clean up the last of your meal, a few knocks could be heard. While you return you attention to cleaning up the place, Mingi asks who’s by the door.

In comes Hongjoong who manages to smell the pork. “You guys ate without me?” He asks with a pout. It’s crazy how this male managed to make the trainees cower in fear when he’s in front of you whining over food. He’s also partly why you’ve toned down the intimidation factor in you.

His whines make your lover laugh. “Yeah, sorry, hHung. Maybe later for dinner, we can catch a meal together with Seonghwa.” Seonghwa teaches the trainees dance with you, but is in charge as well of the auditionees when he has time. He’s also the reason why you’ve softened up.

“If I finish teaching the trainees early, I can grab coffee for the four of us.” You offer. In two hours, you would be teaching the trainees a piece for their monthly evaluations. Hongjoong notices that you were already by the door.

“Leaving so soon?” He asks and you catch Mingi pouting at you from behind Hongjoong.

You gesture to the door. “I mean, you guys are expecting someone soon. Also don’t you guys have stuff to do now?” It’s not that you wanted to leave immediately, but being part of an industry that relies on creativity, you know firsthand that being distracted can be stressful down the line.

The older man shakes his head. “It’s fine. One, Mingi here would love to have you here a little longer.” He starts, with a gesture to the man behind him. His statement making Mingi’s ears burn bright red. “Two, we want your thoughts on this track. It’s you who’s making the choreography as well.”

As you listen to his explanation, your gaze goes to your lover who was doing his best to avoid your gaze. Still shy as ever. “Sure thing, Hongjoong.” You set the bag by a corner then approach the two, sitting next to Mingi as they start catching you up to date with the progress of one of the finalized songs. As you settle into your seat once more, it’s become a habit that your knees would touch his. No matter what the two of you are doing, if the two of you are next to each other, your knees would graze the other’s. They play the song and you keep quiet, deep in your thoughts. For the next hour, the three of you discuss overlooked details and well thought of verses until everything has become up to standard to the three of you. A rarity since you often butt heads with Hongjoong. You look at the time: one hour until you teach. “I should get ready to teach the kids.” With that, you stand up and stretch your back for a few moments.

“Dinner?” Mingi asks as you set the chair away. You didn’t need him to expound. You know what he means by that. Instead of answering him explicitly, your lips graze lightly against his cheek, much to Hongjoong’s delight at the flustered expression on the male.

You wave goodbye to the two of them, making your way to the dance studio. The time you spent with Mingi giving you the energy you need to last through the next few hours with the trainees. You peek into the studio and you’re already greeted by the trainees helping each other on the piece and you can’t help but hope they make it big in the industry.

“Hey everyone! Should we get started?”

---

It’s already past midnight when the two of you arrive back at your apartment. Both of you dropping your bags in the living room, exhausted sighs and groans slipping from your lips. “I’ll get the shower ready.” Mingi says as he drags his tired legs to the bathroom. You get your used clothes into the washing machine, keeping a note to put them in the dryer when you wake up the following day.

The two of you spend the next few minutes in the shower, washing each other’s body carefully. You carefully knead out the knots on Mingi’s shoulders, a result of being hunched over the computer and instruments for hours at a time. He does the same to your neck as both of you let the hair conditioner set in. In the entire duration of your relationship, you’ve grown to have a habit of pressing a kiss on the base of the other’s neck after cleaning after them in the shower.

Before you know it, the two of you were buried under the blankets, legs tangled against each other. Words didn’t need to be exchanged at this point, both of you spent from today’s hectic schedule. Instead, both of you revel in the silence, taking this opportunity to gaze and study the features of your partner’s face. The way the eyelashes flutter as one tries to stay awake, hoping to catch the other fall asleep first, the way one’s lips shiver as they stifle a yawn, the gentle sigh of comfort of being in your lover’s arms in bed.

Even with the lights off, you could see just how much Mingi adored you, and you hoped he could see how you felt the same way if not more. You feel his cheek lean into your touch and you swear you could feel your heart soar at that moment.

You notice him drifting off to sleep and your lips graze against his eyelids, then lightly on his lips. “Sleep well, babe. You deserve the rest.” You whisper against his skin, snuggling a little closer to him before giving in to the comfort of slumber with him.

#ateez writings #my writings #ateez fanfiction #ateez fluff #ateez scenarios #ateez mingi #mingi scenarios #mingi fluff #ateez x reader #any edits to be done when i wake up

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pynkhues · 4 years

Note

1/2 i've got some writing questions for you, if you're up for answering, because i’m curious and you seem like a Real Writer: 1) do you use betas? 2) what exactly are betas supposed to do? i always figured they just checked for like grammar and stuff. megan @foxmagpie is betaing for me and she's done her very best to help me with figuring out my outline and character motivations and i always figured that was a bonus because she's a sweetheart and can see i'm a baby who knows nothing about what

2/2 she’s doing, but the writing asks going around made me start thinking maybe that's actually more standard?? 3) also, i know you're being traditionally published (btw congrats!!), so how different is a fic beta from an editor? thank you in advance if you decide to answer!! :)

Thank you for the congratulations, and of course!

This got a little long, so I’m dropping it behind a cut.

1. Do you use betas?

I used to! I bounced around a few betas when I was a new writer, and then I met Melissa who I had a terrific creative relationship with for about five years? We’re still good friends, but she’s not in fandom anymore and decided she didn’t really have the time to beta anymore after she graduated from college and became a vet. It sort of worked out perfectly, because that was around the same time that I quit writing fic (something I’ve obviously come back to, haha).

I don’t use a beta currently, but I do sometimes talk plot / storyworld things through with @foxmagpie or share bits and ask for her opinion / if what I’m trying to get across comes across.

2) what exactly are betas supposed to do?

It’s entirely up to you and your beta! They can just do grammar and punctuation. I know some betas who just check for Americanisms, Australianisms, Europe-isms, I know some who are hands on with workshopping a story, some who predominantly cheerlead, some who provide very detailed feedback and suggestions, some who provide very little, it all just depends what you, the writer, want, and what the beta is prepared or able to give.

It’s why I think every writer-beta relationship – no matter how close you are as friends – should start with a conversation about parameters and expectations.

If you just want your fic proofread for grammar, that should absolutely be flagged by you, the writer. If you want feedback on plot, characterisation, etc. that should be flagged too.

I don’t tend to beta that much really, just because I’ve worked as a professional editor for many years and have been involved in a lot of writing workshops where you’re often workshopping multiple stories a week, and I find it really hard to turn off that part of my brain. As a result, when I do beta, I tend to do a condensed version of a full edit which includes a structural edit (broad story feedback and questions about world building, characters, etc), a copyedit (this is grammar plus sentence and paragraph structure, word repetition), fact checking (hence the glass bowl debate, hahaha), and write up a page or two on broader feedback for the author overall i.e. patterns in their writing, areas to improve, areas they do really well in, etc.

This is obviously incredibly vigorous (and will take me usually a whole day or even two days - which is something I have to signpost when beta’ing too as I’ll need to have a day free to do it), and not something most betas do (as it probably should be, haha, fanfic should be fun after all). This sort of edit though is (hopefully) really about growth and improvement and challenging the writer to level up, so to speak. The writer definitely needs to be ready for it, and Megan was, which is how I ended up doing this for chapter 7 and now chapter 8 of Delinquents.

Again though, this was something she and I negotiated and worked out that she wanted, and I was actually excited to do, because I love Megan’s writing, and if I could help her be more happy with it and grow and feel like she was growing, I’d be honoured to do that!

If that’s not what she’d wanted, I wouldn’t have done it the way that I did it.

As for Megan helping you with the outlining and character motivation, that is something that’s very sweet! Writing at that point can be really challenging, and while there are a lot of betas who talk through that sort of thing, there are a lot of betas too who only look at things after a draft is written as well. Having feedback and someone to talk to about a story in the early stages, particularly during outlining, can be really helpful and can save you a lot of issues down the track, because if you’re unsure of motivations and what’s propelling your characters through the story, it can often ground your writing to a halt.

One of the best bits of writing advice I ever got was to constantly be asking your story three questions.

1. What does my character want?

2. What (or who) is standing in their way stopping them from getting what they want?

3. What’s my character going to do to overcome it?

Take these as literally or as broadly as you like, but those questions are really helpful at identifying what the narrative thrust of your story is at both a broader and scene-based level. :-)

3) How different is a fic beta from an editor?

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, this also varies, haha. It depends on what the beta does and what that process looks like.

Like I said, I more or less do a condensed version of a full edit when I beta, but in traditional publishing (and what I’m going through at the moment with my publisher for my novel), the rounds of editing will usually be done by different people, so you get different opinions. So just to reiterate, a full edit involves:

Round 1: Structural Edit. This is done usually by a senior editor and involves broad feedback on the story and can include anything from scrapping characters to rearranging plots to changing settings. It usually includes a lot of questions which are designed to challenge the writer’s narrative choices or deepen understanding of story.

Round 2 & 3: Copy Edit. This is usually done by a junior editor (and they usually do it twice (or even more than twice if it’s a difficult manuscript or author) - so once, then the writer works on the changes and sends it back, then the editor does it again to the new draft), and is a closer look at the story. It rarely involves major story changes, and instead is focused on individual scenes, paragraph and sentence structure, and often character motivation or settings in specific scenes, as opposed to the broader story.

Round 4: Proofreader. At a big publisher, this will usually done by a contractor outside of the publishing house so that it’s a very fresh reader who’s unfamiliar with the story. At a smaller publishing house or a magazine / journal, this’ll be done by an editorial assistant, intern or even the junior editor again. This is strictly grammar and punctuation.

Round 5: Final proof. This goes back to everyone - the author, the structural editor, the copy editor and the proofreader, and is usually a PDF of the typeset pages, so everyone has one last chance to make minor changes before it goes to print.

So yes! A long process, haha.

I’d say most betas do a little bit of a structural and copy edit, but are predominantly proofreaders? Although, once again, it really just depends!

I hope this is a help, and feel free to ask if you have any other questions!

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captainmazzic · 4 years

Note

"not a fan of the whole “rogue Jedi tracked down by Vader and his edgy minions” plotline in general" Can you elaborate? Am curious to hear your thoughts!!

Hm. I guess it’s just not my cuppa, to be honest. There are so many other tropes in Star Wars I’m far more interested in -- Old Republic era Sith shenanigans, Yuuzhan Vong craziness, Mid- and post- One Sith speculation (that’s where the old EU left off before Disney got their sweaty palms on it), classic Galactic Empire vs. Rebels, pretty much any storyline focused on bounty hunters, Prequel/Clone Wars-era stuff if it involves my faves, etc. etc.

Like, I like a lot of the inquisitors, as characters. But I just don’t find them interesting. I don’t find their stories compelling. Not in a way that makes me want to consume a whole lot about them, at least. The whole “corrupted Jedi” thing irritates the ever-loving shit out of me, because it almost always carries an implied statement that any Jedi who was disillusioned with the system or who was abused or tortured will inevitably become an evil minion and a terrible person by default, and also they will, to a man, die terrible deaths. And that’s... just not interesting. I hate being introduced to a good antagonist knowing for a fact that there’s no hope for them to survive the story arc. Call it attachment or abandonment issues or whatever, but it makes me far, far less interested in getting to know them.

ex. Hell, I’m still mad about Maul, I will always be mad about Maul, because I invested a lot into that character, having an idea that he was going to end but at least I thought they’d let him... have something. But they systematically took everything away from him, beat him down, tortured and abused him, and expected us to cheer. If they do that with a character as beloved as Maul is, I know for a fact that they’re not going to go easy on newly-introduced characters coded as villains, like the doomed inquisitors.

I have problems with character deaths.

Star Wars can’t seem to figure out what to do with characters that have nothing more to add to the narrative once their involvement in their story arc is done. Because the main storyline has already been established, they seem to think that the only way to sideline newly introduced characters not in the OT/Prequels/Sequels is to kill them off, and almost always without those characters having ANY effect on anything in a positive or meaningful way. Nevermind the fact that the galaxy is huge, and they could very feasibly affect their own corner in their own way without affecting the “main canon”. But Star Wars prefers to kill off characters after dangling them like carrots in front of those of us desperate for anything other than standard hero template. One of the few exceptions I can think of off the top of my head is Ahsoka, but she’s so fucking close to the hero template anyway (and the baby of one of the main driving creative forces in Star Wars, so of course she’s still around), that she just doesn’t quite strike the same chord. Boba Fett (and Cad Bane, if I’m not mistaken) have dodged this bullet too. Fett got a phenomenal run in the EU, solely because of being such a fan favourite. But not everybody can reach that level of popularity, so after a book or two, or a comic or three, or a series arc, most of the best and most interesting characters are conveniently dropped off a cliff or run through with a lightsaber. Can’t have any loose ends keeping our stories from being tidy little episodic packages, can we?

Whatever happened to worldbuilding where there was room enough for lots of stories?

So yeah. I just... I don’t like a lot of the inquisitor stories because I know they’re doomed to die ignoble deaths usually at the hands of their torturer, or some plucky Jedi spouting cute snark or pretentious bullshit.

That and I have zero interest in whatever Jedi they’re supposedly pursuing. I don’t care about their stories. I don’t cheer them on while they run for their lives, I don’t hope that they survive, I don’t worry for their safety. You could fit my concern for them in a thimble and still have room for tea. I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care. And since it’s usually the Jedi that are the focus of the stories that include inquisitors, those are the stories I’m least likely to want to read about.

I got a little off track there, but sometimes the vitriol just leaks

EDIT: I’m not sure what happened there, but the readmore is stuck in the ask itself. Sorry about that. Long post.

#sarc speaks #sarc talks to strangers #replies #jedi critical #star wars critical #sarc rants about star wars #Anonymous #long post

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cynicalrainbows · 4 years

Text

Shields and Staircases

For the prompt from the very nice, polite anon who requested a fic of Cathy taking care of Sad Anne. Possibly not quite what you had in mind anon, but hopefully still ok! (possibly part 1 of 2 but I have a few other prompts to do also)

It had been a good idea at the time.

Back in the awful, early days- before they had grown into one another, when everything was still loud and bright and fast and frightening, when the memories were still painful and they were having to endure the daily ritual of being forced into that dreadful cold studio that smelled of damp and low-grade instant coffee to scrape them raw and draw witty, creative dialogue and lyrics out of the slurry of heartbreak and betrayal and pain- it had been a lifeline.

She had dreaded having her turn come- having to show them all what she’d been working on felt like a deliberate humiliation.

She had cried- they all cried, whether they cared to admit it or not, whether it was a discreet tearing up after a difficult day (although they were all difficult days) or more….dramatic (Jane had had to take Kitty home after rehearsing her song for the first time).

It was forgivable- they were all dealing with a lot, queasy from the food they weren’t used to, sleep deprived from a combination of nightmares, the sound of traffic and the odd modern bedding (which they also weren’t used to) and the strangeness of being expected to sleep alone (bedwarmers, it seemed, having drifted out of fashion somewhere along the way).

Still, her breakdown had felt more humiliating- although perhaps it was just that she was the one experiencing it rather than watching awkwardly from the sidelines and wishing she knew how to offer comfort.

After it was over, they had all assured her that her first attempts at a song has been good. She hadn’t been quite sure if they had meant it (or if they had merely been searching for something to say as she sniffled and scrubbed at her eyes during the long tense bus ride home) but they had certainly seemed sincere.

They hadn’t looked impressed as she’d sung her first attempts at a song for them though- they’d just looked uncomfortable. Kitty’s hand had found Jane’s at the part about Henry’s six year persistence and her guilt at finally giving in; Cathy had leant into Aragon a bit at the part about losing baby after baby and the pain of having to carry on.

She’d managed to sing it through without losing control of herself, biting her lip and keeping her eyes on the wall, but then they’d moved directly onto the dialogue- a scripted argument between herself, Aragon and Jane over the respective fates of their children- and she’d suddenly had to run from the room to throw up, tears streaming down her face.

It was too hard.

She couldn’t do it.

It was a slow realisation- that she simply wasn’t going to be able to say these things. Not night after night, in front of people, and accompanied by complicated dance steps and festoons of glitter.

She wasn’t going to be able to say her lines, so she wasn’t going to be able to do the show- it was a simple as that. Still, she couldn’t quite bring herself to tell them- the show was IT, their one chance to make it in this new century. They all knew they weren’t remotely employable by 21st century standard- Kitty still flinched a little when cars drove past, Aragon could barely look at the women in breeches- and so it was either sing or starve.

She just wasn’t sure she was able to tell them that she was planning to opt for ‘starve’.

It had been Cathy who she’d first confided in, after the woman found her huddled on the stairs at 2am, tearstained and shivering.

‘Bad dream?’

She nodded. Bad dreams were a given.

‘Snap.’ Cathy lowered herself onto the step next to her. It was a tightish squeeze but she was grateful for the company. ‘What was yours?’

‘Oh just….things.’ She doesn’t really want to get into it; Cathy doesn’t seem to mind.

‘Mine wasn’t even anything that bad really- just can’t seem to get back to sleep.’

‘What was it?’

‘The night after I agreed to marry him- a bit anti climax, really.’ Anne wonders if her own attempts at nonchalance are as transparent as Cathy’s. ‘Of course, it doesn’t help having to go over it day after day….’

‘Yeah.’ She’s relieved to have someone else say it. ‘Like...I don’t want to have to root into my worst moments….I don’t want to have to explain how scared I was or how much I hated myself or how it felt when they told everyone I had birthed a monster baby… I don’t want to talk about how it sounded when they took George’s head off or how I could smell his blood when they brought me out….’

Her voice shakes and Cathy’s looking at her with wide eyes- she supposes it isn’t a shock. It’s the first time she’s been quite so candid after all.

‘Well….it is really hard but …. you don’t have to be quite so honest.’ She slips an arm around Anne’s shoulders and starts rubbing up and down her upper arm- to warm her or for comfort, Anne isn’t quite sure. ‘You don’t owe anyone anything, you don’t need to include anything that you really can’t bear.’

‘Sounds like a great plan.’ She doesn’t want to push Cathy away, she really doesn;t, but she can’t suppress a bitter laugh. ‘Come and see our show- except none of us are going to say anything because we don’t owe you anything. Yeah, I can imagine that’ll be a hit.’

Cathy nudges her gently. ‘That’s not what I meant. Obviously you have to tell them some things. But you don’t have to tell them everything.’

‘You think I should lie then? Oh sorry, he didn’t execute me at all, it was all a big joke!’

She’s being difficult, she knows- she wouldn’t blame Cathy if she decided to just go back to bed and leave Anne to stew. But she can’t help herself- she wishes Cathy would stop pretending there’s a way to make it bearable, and she knows it’ll be harder to explain her choice to give up the idea of the show if they think she’s just making excuses.

‘You’ll be leaving stuff out anyway.’ Cathy shrugs. ‘You’re not planning on including….well, everything, are you? I mean, I certainly hope you aren’t, unless you want to make it a monologue. So….yes. Edit out what’s too painful, just leave what you can bear.’

The problem is, she doesn’t think she can bear any of it. How do you describe losing a child so that it doesn’t hurt? How do you mention watching your brother die lightly?

She’s shaking her head. ‘I can’t. I can’t Cathy, I just can’t.’

Her breathing is speeding up, her chest tightening- she’s suffocating with her inability to make Cathy SEE, she feels herself being dragged towards having to do the show whether she wants to or not and it’s frightening. More frightening than the idea of hunger or even death: she has died before but she has never been forced to recount the worst moments of her life for an audience of strangers.

Her hands go to her neck and Cathy maneuvers herself until she’s in front of Anne, crouching slightly precariously on a lower stair- she gently takes Anne’s hands in hers and chafes them in her own.

‘Ok. It’s ok. Don’t worry, you don’t have to do anything- just breathe, alright? Nice and slow.’

‘I can’t-’

‘Yes you can- with me, ok? In and out. You’re ok.’

She isn’t- she’s going to die, to expire right here on the staircase, there isn’t enough air-

She squeezes Cathy’s hands desperately, so tightly she must be bruising them but the other woman doesn’t pull away.

‘Good. You’re doing so well. Just keep going like that.’

Painfully slowly, the iron bands around her chest start to loosen.

When she’s breathing more normally, Cathy turns to fuss with where her dressing gown has twisted, allowing Anne time to furtively dry her eyes on her sleeve.

‘You alright?’

‘Yeah.’ She sighs. ‘I don’t want to drop out of the show….but I can’t be in it Cathy. I just…. Can’t.’

There. She’s said it. She steels herself for the coming storm- she waits for Cathy to shriek, to rage at her selfishness. She waits for Cathy to wake the other queens, perhaps even to hit her….but she doesn’t.

She looks at her thoughtfully.

‘It’s really affecting you, isn’t it?’

‘Yes. Just….badly. It’s really bad Cathy- I’d rather….die, I’d rather anything than have to go through it all again and again. I just can’t bear to relieve it all….’

(She wonders if Cathy will think her selfish for the fact that she’s making herself special, as if the others don’t have awful memories too….but the fact that she isn’t being hit is reassuring. She doesn’t want any of them to think badly of her but- for reasons she’s not quite sure of- she especially doesn’t want Cathy to think badly of her.)

‘I understand- I do.’

‘I feel so awful…’ Another tear escapes. ‘I know that we all need this…. I don’t want to ruin things for everyone, I truly don’t….i just can’t face it.’

Cathy looks thoughtful. ‘You shouldn’t feel guilty. If you can’t, you can’t.’

‘And if we starve, we starve.’ She tries to smile and it hurts a bit. Cathy returns to her old spot and pulls her close.

‘Hey. No. Don’t think like that. We’re not going to starve- they don’t just let people starve to death nowadays.’

‘Yeah…’

‘No seriously- I was looking into it with Catalina. We might have to….get used to a new standard of living but we won’t actually die.’

‘Really?’

‘I think so. I don’t know everything but…. Yeah. I don’t think things are as black or white as they were back in our day, I think we could probably get by.’

It’s a relief, a weight off her shoulders but she still feels a pang of guilt. Do they really want to just ‘get by’? Is that all there is left for them?

‘Perhaps though….’ She hesitates and Anne has to prompt her.

‘What? What is it?’

(It’s stupid, it’s ridiculous but the way Cathy looked- like there might possibly somehow be a solution to this awfulness- makes her hopeful.)

‘Well, I was just thinking….’ Cathy tilts her head. ‘I mean….it IS a show, isn’t it?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘A show. A performance. It’s not like….a lecture or a history book, it’s to entertain...it’s about what it’s like to watch, not about teaching people history…’

‘Yes…’ She isn’t sure what Cathy is getting at.

‘So- who says it needs to be us on stage? As portrayed on stage I mean- does it really need to be us? Couldn’t you just….make a character to be instead?’

‘But-’ She’s still not getting it. ‘Wouldn’t people notice if it wasn’t Anne Boleyn but….someone else?’

‘Well you’d still need to be called Anne.’ Cathy explains. ‘You’d still need the character to have...sort of the basic outline of your life. But it wouldn’t be you, you see? She could be….well, someone completely different. Perhaps then it would be easier.’

She considers, the idea taking shape in her mind….

A character ...a protection, a shield from the audience, a shield from her own guilt….

‘Maybe…’

‘You don’t HAVE to’ Cathy assures her. ‘Honestly, none of us would want you to be suffering every night for us.’

‘Ok’ She isn’t really convinced. ‘Can you….not tell the others, maybe?’

‘Of course not.’ Cathy extricates herself from her place on the stair and stands up, holding out a hand to Anne. ‘Look, it’s really late and you look exhausted- do you want to maybe try sleeping again?’

She doesn't want to but she also doesn’t want to stay sitting on the cold dark stairs by herself, so she takes Cathy’s hand and gets to her feet.

The fact that Cathy doesn’t let go immediately and instead leads her back towards the bedrooms is unexpected. But not unpleasant. It’s also a slight surprise when she follows Anne into her bedroom and waits while she gets under the covers, hovering by the light switch.

‘Sweet dreams.’

‘Ha.’

‘Well you never know.’

‘Always a first time, I suppose.’

They share a smile.

When Cathy still doesn’t leave, Anne thinks it’s for her- that Cathy is worried about leaving her alone to face the nightmares….but then it occurs to her that she isn’t the only one troubled by bad dreams.

‘Cathy?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Do you….maybe want to sleep here tonight?’

She nods, and Anne makes room.

‘Thanks.’

‘No problem.’

‘Do you…. Am I still the only one who finds it really weird that they sleep alone now?’

‘Not at all- why are they all so afraid of each other?’

‘Yes! And why do all beds have such horrible covers? I miss proper linen!’

‘Yes! And the pillows!’

‘Yes!’

The bed shakes with their laughter until they suddenly remember the other queens and have to muffle themselves in the pillows.

They both sleep better that night.

#six #six the musical #six the musical fanfiction #sixfic #six fanfiction

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dragonofyang · 5 years

Text

From the Sock Puppet’s Mouth

Well folks, good news and bad news.

Good news: the ABTV interview on March 4th confirmed for us that WEP is the reason for the last-minute changes and that certain things were fought tooth and nail for until they came down and axed it.

Bad news: WEP is still using the EPs as their meat shields to hide behind, and despite not being really able to refuse, Joaquim Dos Santos and Lauren Montgomery still said some fucked up shit in this interview and the one before. And we probably should gird our loins for the next interview with Let’s Voltron!

But Yang, why in the fuck are we not going after the EPs, then?

The answer to that and why this is happening is three little letters, my friends.

NDA.

Non-disclosure agreements.

AKA the bane of your existence. And ours. And almost certainly JDS, LM, voice actors, animators, and literally anybody who has to comply with the season 8 we got back in December and the resulting fallout.

These are fairly standard in lots of situations where you’ll be working with confidential material, stuff like stories, military paperwork, movie production, that sort of thing. They generally tell you that you can’t spill the beans until a certain date when the contract expires, or when the information becomes public knowledge and the need for secrecy is lifted. Pretty standard in the entertainment business, keeps people from getting spoiled to trade secrets or important plotlines and ensures that you can trust your employees with whatever you need done for the project in question.

One other thing that these pesky little pieces of paper do is give your employer (say, the owner of a franchise or a superior officer), the ability to order you what to say just as easily as what not to. Don’t believe me? Look up interviews with the people who were in The Last Airbender (yeah… THAT movie). During production and when it was new, they all said how excited they were to work on the movie and be a part of it, but once those magical dates came by to free them of their legal obligations, they spilled more tea than the American revolutionaries did back in Boston. As soon as they wouldn’t get sued, they changed their tune about working on TLA.

Sometimes you just don’t like a project, sometimes your boss is a dick, whatever, but the fact is, if you sign one of those little things titled “Non-Disclosure Agreement”, you are bound by law to say whatever your boss tells you to. It’s very much a “they say ‘jump’, you say ‘how high’” situation. The only time this sort of shit doesn’t apply is if it implicates you in a crime. So like, your boss can’t embezzle money and then tell you to say you did it, or that you helped, or whatever. If it means you’ll get pressed charges, then you’re free to stand up and say “fuck this noise” and leave.

But JDS and LM aren’t being forced to admit to a crime, as heinous as some of what they’ve said in the past two ABTV interviews was. I’ll admit, I saw red the first time I heard the interviews on February 25 and March 4, but ya know fuckin’ what? That was the goal. Those interviews were meant to be a targeted blow against those of us in the VLD fandom who want the real s8 and for the characters to get their stories told correctly, rather than the slipshod stoic nonsense that ultimately created a story with zero meaning.

WEP/World Events Productions/Bob Koplar holds the Voltron intellectual property. JDS and LM are their puppets right now because unless they’re ordered to admit to a crime or otherwise break the law, they could be ruined legally, financially, and closed off from their trade. Would it be nice if they stuck to the scruples they displayed back when the show first started? Fuck yeah. I’d love it if they said, “screw it, here’s the real s8 with the heroine’s journey and the parallel storylines and the ending you deserved to see and get catharsis with.”

Fact is, they can’t, but we, who have never signed an NDA with WEP, DreamWorks, or Netflix or whoever the fuck else is involved, can.

They’re lying, yes, and they said despicable things that would make anybody’s blood boil, but the fact is they’re just the unfortunate human shields that will let WEP get away scot-free and it sets a very dangerous precedent about what happens when a story is being told and someone up top doesn’t like what they see. The narrative LM and JDS are being told to spin is that when the writers left, they went ham and ruined the story and that the real season 8 would be worse than the concoction we got on December 14. LM and JDS have said awful shit as WEP tries to demoralize fans and chase them off from going after the original season 8 and deflecting blame off where it should be aimed. But why would they have to write a story that’s animated and would have been completed before the writers left? LM said it herself that animation is extremely ahead of schedule compared to releases, and if you’re a fan of HTTYD like myself, you’ll know that the third movie’s release date had to be pushed back multiple times to account for the animation schedule because they failed to accurately project when it would be complete, and so pushed it back as opposed to releasing a shoddy product.

It’s simple enough to realize that the story being spun is just logically fallible and factually untrue, but because so much of what’s been said has been attacking the fandom, it’s easy to believe it. I almost wanted to believe that, too. It’s easy when there’s already a face and a name to blame. It’s harder to dig through stinging nettles, even if you know there’s a pot of gold under it all. Luckily I brought work gloves and have friends who know how to wield gardening shears.

We knew before that there was last minute edits to season 8, and @leakinghate did an excellent breakdown of that here in case you want to settle in for a nice read to see what should have been. But the interview on March 4th confirmed multiple times that the problem with the changes and story didn’t come from the EPs or even Dreamworks. The pushback came from the IP owners. JDS says so right toward the beginning, about 12 minutes in when he’s talking about Adam and Shiro’s romance. JDS and LM both discuss how it was the IP owners who gave the order to change an already-storyboarded and approved plotline for Shiro, which directly negates their tweet on March 1 claiming that the store has no creative control and the letter Bob Koplar wrote to a few fans, also written March 1, which claimed the same thing and seemed intent on absolving him as a responsible party for s8. Sure, the person tweeting and the person handling orders might not have to approve things, but that account and the store are both owned by WEP, which is easily proven if you dial WEP’s number. But the IP holders got discussed multiple times throughout the entire episode, more towards the first half than the second, which is when what they’re saying gets really screwy in terms of logic and what they’ve said before and general bullfuckery. Until JDS and LM are thanking the hosts for the unprecedented two hour interview and JDS says, “I don’t agree with myself” at 43:03, they were thanking the fans and apologizing for what happened and explaining that it wasn’t them or Dreamworks, but rather the IP holders who were pushing back.

Don’t believe me?

Click to 12:10 of the March 4 interview. JDS talks about Adam and Shiro’s relationship and how it was originally meant to be portrayed, and at the 12:50 mark he says that they got pushback about their relationship, not from Dreamworks, but from “other controlling parties with Voltron.”

Click to 18:52, where JDS mentions how they didn’t have the position as being creators of the IP. He also points out that, “We were, for all intents and purposes, like, started as a show for boys 6 to 11 to sell as much toys as possible.”

Does that phrase bother you as much as it bothers me?

Because it should.

Ever since VLD ended and the fans started pushing back against what got published as season 8, the EPs have been silent, at least for the first two-ish months. They didn’t say a word anywhere publicly about the show or if they liked it, because their NDAs probably had an “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” clause. Generally, that’s the case because part of your job is to build good PR and hype up your project. Don’t believe me? Look at how they were after literally every other season, they came out immediately saying how much they loved it and how much they hoped the fans would too, and when there was pushback about Lotor’s abuse and the colony plot they were like, “please trust us, we want to do his story justice” even when it probably would have served them better to remain silent.

Not with S8.

Until these interviews, nobody talked. And when they finally did start talking?

They all kept saying the same things.

“This is a show for boys and their dads” and “this is a show meant to sell toys to little boys.”

At no point before this did anybody on the production team say anything even remotely related.

You can look for yourself, but I guarantee you won’t find anything. “Boy toy show” has been the go-to phrase for everybody ever since the silence around season 8 broke, and it’s not their words.

It is, without a doubt, from the IP holder.

We were promised that Lotor’s arc would continue and that “there’s a lot that is at play in his brain and his mind,” in the GeekDad article about him. Narratively, Lotor and Allura were meant to foil Zarkon and Honerva/Haggar. We should’ve gotten an alchemist-versus-alchemist showdown and a cool Lotor and Lance arc. Many things that were built up in seasons 1 through 6 were dropped, and if you refer back to Hate’s meta “Seeking Truth in Darkness”, you’ll find her analysis on what was cut, why, and the plot she pieced together based on the inconsistencies in the details of the season 8 that got released. In the latest interview, JDS said, “We were just trying to break the trope, our own trope. You know what I mean? Like Voltron was its own trope and the sort of little nook that we inhabited was, like, sort of boys toys was its own weird tropey situation.”

And despite all this talk of family and love and complexity and breaking barriers, we received two things from December 14 and on: VLD season 8, and silence.

Complete and utter silence.

The VAs were trotted out to face the wrath of the fans at SAC Anime 2019 and there was nary a word to be heard from the EPs, Dreamworks, WEP, Netflix… Nobody had anything to say about the final season of Voltron. The VAs even commented that there were things they were and weren’t allowed to say. And if they wanted to say anything, their NDAs and general social etiquette prevented them from saying whatever was actually on their mind, because I guarantee you nobody happy about the season would have kept silent. Even when all the season 7 backlash happened, JDS and LM asked us as a fandom to please wait and see, because there would be narrative payoff.

Which is why the latest two interviews with ABTV are all the more rightfully infuriating.

In the February 25 interview, LM specifically says that the initial pitch was to kill everybody, everybody would die and that would be the end of it, and that they had to back off from that. After the broken promises of season 8, that’s pretty damn believable to a fandom who’s rightfully hurting and grieving what could have finished a great show. But then with this March 4 interview, she says that she wanted to go Sailor Moon with it and have Allura come back as a baby after sacrificing herself. Kind of hard for those two stories to mesh when the person LM says would raise Allura would also have been one of the ones to die in the initial pitch.

So what exactly is the truth there?

Frankly, I think neither of those ideas is the truth. At least completely.

Why? A) It sounds like a super early pitch idea and B) because their general behavior disagrees with every interview leading up to season 8. Because if LM and JDS were proud of this product that got released, they would have said so and behaved as normal, if maybe a little more reserved due to fandom backlash. Because they wouldn’t be silent and only coming out with interviews after two months and several of #TeamPurpleLion metas that poke massive holes in what exists of season 8, CallVoltron has been sending letters, and #FREEVLDS8 garnered over 30,000 signatures. WEP has been trying to do damage control ever since we as a fandom started putting two and two together about where these disastrous last-minute changes came from, and only when the petition got updated to include WEP as a point of focus did WEP start trying to discredit the fans and meta writers who were coming too close to the truth. Here is a complete list of everything that’s happened since December 14, to give you an idea of just how wild of a ride this has been.

One main consistent thing throughout everything that’s happened since season 8 dropped is that everybody from the EPs up is lying, whether by omission or outright or through someone else, people have been lying like mad. WEP doesn’t want you to know that they own the IP and have strong input, despite confirming it by liking a tweet on February 13 and how you can be directed to their store if you call WEP’s phone number. WEP doesn’t want you to know that they gave the original season 8 the axe. WEP got scared that we got close and so they trotted out their EPs after two months of silence to try and break those of us hunting for the truth. These two interviews, which, mind you, came after what was scheduled to be the last one.

The official story continues to fall apart with every word of these last two interviews, too. JDS says that they were crafting the epilogue for season 8 during the aftermath of season 7, but according to him they completed season 8 back in June.

Again: which is the truth?

I stand with @leakinghate and the rest of #TeamPurpleLion and think that the original season 8 was completed back in June, but that the backlash from s7 and the general disapproval of a story of empowerment caused the truly-eleventh-hour edits to s8. The EPs are being forced to lie to you due to their contracts, WEP wants to keep hiding and lying and calling their customers liars and mocking them. But the funny thing is that the more intricate the lie, the harder it is to keep it straight versus the truth, as evidenced by how JDS and LM seem to be confusing what was in s8 versus what was pitched versus what they were told to say.

So what’s it all mean, then?

It means you should be watching and writing letters and calling WEP and calling them out publicly whenever WEP and Bob Koplar lie to the consumers and customers that express dissatisfaction with their service and their products.

WEP forgets that there is more to fandom than diehard dads and young boys.

The more they ignore the majority of their consumers, the more money they lose, the more faith they lose, and the less people will want to follow their future projects (like if they decide to do an MFE spinoff). Let’s Voltron is coming up with a new episode with JDS and LM, and they’re hoping to get it up soon. I’d just like to remind y’all that it’s scripted and pre-recorded, it’s not live, and it benefits from being the official Voltron podcast and has to keep good relations with WEP in order to retain that status. So don’t stop calling, write letters, hell just leave a Facebook or Twitter review of the business to express your satisfaction or lack thereof with how WEP treats customers and its show and everything. After all, the road to s8 is paved with honesty.

@felixazrael @leakinghate @crystal-rebellion @voltronisruiningmylife

#dragon's ramblings #vld #voltron: legendary defender #TeamPurpleLion #FREEVLDS8 #free vld s8 #vld meta #strafe

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words-writ-in-starlight · 5 years

Note

good omens au of the kencyrath?

Damn RIGHT, Good Omens AU of the Kencyrath.

a devil put aside (for me)

The year is 6000 AC1, give or take a few dozenmonths, when Jame is handed a baby.

This is not, as such things go, particularly commonpractice. Something about Jame makespeople reluctant to hand her babies. It’sprobably her clear and obvious alarm when handed a baby, or any other human toosmall to feasibly navigate itself home without her guidance. It may also be the too-silver shine of hereyes over her sunglasses, and the cat-sharp points of her canines when shesmiles. Regardless, Jame has taken greatpains to make sure she doesn’t look like someone who was cosmically meantto be handed babies2.

“Hail Satan. You’relate, Jamethiel,” Keral observes, and Jame makes a vague gesture—at thegraveyard, at the half-cloudy night sky, at her pristine white car—as if to explain.

“Hail Satan, and stuff, sure. Ran into traffic,” she says. Keral doesn’t often lower himself to dallyingon Earth, and last Jame checked he didn’t totally understand what a car was,although there’s a certain intuitive grasp on things like traffic and hotcoals and slow torture among demons. He seems to have a broad grasp of what she means. Bane, leaning against a gravestone andsmiling his too-wide smile, seems to have a much clearer grasp, but then Banelikes Earth3. “So. What’s, uh, happening?”

“Present for you,” Bane says, holding up an honest-to-Hellbasket, a tidily woven job that looks like something Jame might have seen incommon use seven thousand years ago. Bane lets it dangle from his fingers, rocking a bit, and Keral squawksangrily, jumping forward. Bane closeshis fist securely around the handle and lowers his arm just before Keral canreach him, and Jame thinks idly about how she could be—anywhere but here,really. Maybe somewhere with alcohol.

She’s never understood why Bane and Keral so frequently getassigned together. Probably becauseKeral is uninventive but obsessively devoted to their Master, whereas Bane isalmost human in his creativity but untrustworthy even by demonic standards. There’s some kind of hope that they’ll reineach other in.

All she’s ever really noticed is that Bane enjoys drivingKeral up the wall4, along with everyone else in the immediatevicinity.

“Here, m’lady snake,” Bane drawls, and holds the basket out,teetering, until Jame grabs it.

Jame flips up the lid, because curiosity has always beenwhat Jame does best5, and almost drops it on the spot.

“Oh,” Jame says. Hervoice is a little faint, but even. “It’s—thattime, is it?”

“Finally.” Keralstretches in the corner of her vision, a movement that’s entirely too liquidand disjointed for his mostly-human appearance, and from the sound of hisvoice, he’s smiling, smugly delighted in the way of a demon about to achieve sometruly dire things. “You’ve been honoredby our Master, Jamethiel,” he says.

“Very honored,” Jame says automatically without looking upfrom the contents of the basket. Thecontents didn’t seem to be bothered by Bane’s irreverent handling of them,still sleeping soundly. That did notmake the contents any less alarming.

“About time, too, I was wasting away waiting for it,” Keralsays, and idly bends his wrist back until his knuckles touch his forearm. There’s a pop, then several sharp cracks, andJame looks up.

“Right,” Jame announces, an edge of manic brightnessentering her voice as she snaps the lid of the basket closed. “Right. I’ll just go—do that. About time. Hail Satan.”

And she books the hastiest retreat she can manage, without actuallyrunning away.

Shortly thereafter, there is a shell game, but withbabies. Three fair-haired male babies—tidilycode-named Baby A, Baby B, and the Antichrist, the Adversary, Destroyer ofKings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Princeof This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan and Lord of Darkness—to beprecise. The Monks of the LugubriousOrder of Saint Gorgo are a sweet bunch, if you ask Jame, but not always themost reliable at subtle communication. Thiswill later be blamed for an enormous amount of trouble.

As far as Father Loogan, head of the order, knows, the Antichristetc. is a scowling and squalling baby with ashy hair, delivered in a moreliteral than euphemistic sense to Caldane Caineron, American diplomaticattache, and his wife. This baby—Baby B—isnamed Gorbel, and will be a terrible disappointment to quite a lot of people butalso an excellent politician6.

Baby A, for the sake of the reader’s peace of mind, isadopted by a kind couple and grows up well out of events, with the kind ofblithely silly nature that only blesses those who have narrowly missed growingup in politics. We shall say that he isnamed Holly, and enjoys riding horses, climbing trees, and Not Being InvolvedIn Politics.

The Antichrist, the Adversary, Destroyer ofKings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Princeof This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan and Lord of Darkness, is abeautiful and even-tempered baby, with pale blue eyes and hair so fair as to bevery nearly white.

His single mother names him Kindrie.

Jame doesn’t call ahead, because she doesn’t believe incalling ahead on principle7, and also because her counterpart isterrible at answering his phone. Shejust shows up, parks indiscriminately half onto the pavement, and startshammering on the door, just above the Closed sign.

No one answers, so Jame snaps and the lock sheepishly undoesitself.

“I’m sorry, we’re closed,” Torisen says from the back room,without looking up from his latest discovery of what appears to be genuine ship’smaps circa the fifteenth century, if Jame isn’t mistaken. His shop mostly stocks books—histories andfirst editions and other things that could make an academic weep if given halfa chance—but she’s never seen him actually turn down an artifact8.

“I just delivered the Antichrist to a monastery and theworld is going to end,” Jame announces as the door locks itself behind her.

The angel at the desk looks up, through the open door intothe shop. Tori and Jame have always lookedalike—she thinks, vaguely, that they looked alike before the War, too, but can’tquite remember why—with inky black hair and silver eyes and very nearly thesame bone structure. He’s allowed hiscorporation to show its age a touch more, with grey threading his black hair,rather than Jame’s perpetual early twenties, but they could still bereflections in slightly rippled water.

As such, she suddenly has an excellent idea of what she musthave looked like, upon being handed the basket.

“Oh,” Tori says.

“Yeah.”

“Well,” Tori says, his hands moving slowly, apparentlywithout his instruction, to slide the maps into a museum-grade envelope9. “I suppose that’s that, then. How long have we got?”

“Eleven years, give or take.”

“And then…”

“That’s right.” Torisennods, considering, and Jame collapses into the armchair across from him. “Welcome to the End Times, angel.”

“Hm,” Torisen says, as if he’s still processing this. “Drink?”

“Please.”

Six hours and a quite extraordinary amount of alcohol later,an angel and a demon concoct a supremely questionable plan to save the world.

Spoiler alert: it does not work10.

1 AfterCreation.

2 There isno helping the fact that, apparently, Someone thinks that Jame meant tobe handed babies.

3 In fact Banelikes Earth so much that he is strictly banned from being Hell’srepresentative there.

4 This is not a particular achievement: everyonefrom imps to archdemons enjoys driving Keral up the wall.

5 Jame hasretained certain things from her initial professional dalliance with curiosity,including slit pupils, a streak of black scales from the nape of her neck allthe way down her spine, and a fondness for sleeping in sunlight. Really, she’s just glad she doesn’t hiss.

6 Being apolitician will earn the erstwhile Baby B some fatherly approval at first. Then he’ll go and become a liberal, whereuponBaby B will finish thoroughly disappointing everyone and be much happier forit.

7 Jame got acommendation for the invention of the call tree. She appreciates phones. She also appreciates the upper hand, and justshowing up is better for that.

8 She hasalso never seen him sell one.

9 Jame isvery, very sure that Torisen has been abusing his miraculous abilities for thesake of protecting his books. There’s noother way those maps are surviving being handled.

10 Someoneelse takes care of it.

#kencyrath #chronicles of the kencyrath #good omens #starlight writes stuff #now LISTEN i know that jame as the demon is a very predictable choice #but tori as the angel--restricted and confined by his role and pushing back against the urging of The Good Guys #was too good to pass up #also because this way i can have tori protest 'i don't even LIKE you' and jame sneer 'YOU DO' and I Wanted That #why isn't jame the antichrist you say? because i REALLY like the idea of her and tori needling each other #for six THOUSAND years #and also because narratively speaking it's jame's purpose to destroy the world already she's had her turn #the arrin-ken say it's kindrie's turn on the apocalypse #literally THE ONLY other thing i have figured out is this:#graykin is shadwell #smol!brier is pepper #smol!kirien is wensleydale #and smol!rue is brian #they are kindrie's devoted best friends and partners in apocalypse aversion #brier becomes Uncomfortably Fascinated by those two folks who helped kindrie save the world #rue is not uncomfortable at all and latches onto jame like a barnacle #oh and baby a is holly--aka lord danior! who is SO HAPPY to not be heir to the highlord's seat anymore #that felt Right #oh also the title is from bohemian rhapsody because obviously #queue deeper than the sea of stars #asked and answered #aethersea

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kira-ani-mcgrath · 5 years

Photo

I am redeemed You set me free So I'll shake off these heavy chains And wipe away every stain Now I'm not who I used to be I am redeemed

"Redeemed" by Big Daddy Weave

I drew this picture specifically to go with the personal story below the cut. Thank you in advance if you take the time to read it, but no worries if you don't. Either way, have a wonderful day.

Late December 2018 was when the Frozen II calendar leak began circulating. Included in the leak was information on the Russian caption for the page, translated to be a vague movie summary. This plot teaser stated that the group (Anna, Elsa, Kristoff, Olaf, and Sven) would be heading north into the forest due to some Arendelle-related mystery.

This was a bit of a let-down for me. You see, since my initial introduction to Frozen in 2013, I have been hoping and praying that the inevitable sequel would include Hans' redemption as part of the narrative (for various reasons that are too lengthy to detail here). Such a plot thread would be easier to accomplish if Frozen II involved travel to some other kingdom (or multiple kingdoms), especially the Southern Isles. With the information revealed in the plot spoiler, it was harder to picture a scenario where Hans would join the rest of the gang for an adventure. Yes, it could be done, but it would be more convoluted, possibly to the point of not being an option altogether. Perhaps I was being too pessimistic, but there was no denying the fact that I was feeling rather down about Frozen II.

A few days later, I was driving home with the radio on, but I wasn't paying attention to it. Instead, I was once again mulling over various ways Hans could be redeemed in Frozen II. Yet the more I considered possible scenarios, the more it seemed that the movie's revealed plot would make Hans' redemption an unrealistic feat. I reached the end of my train of thought, and, feeling disheartened, mentally chided myself, "I should just give up. Hans isn't going to be redeemed in Frozen 2."

At that precise moment, the opening notes of "Redeemed" began to play on the radio. Being quite familiar with the song, I immediately laughed and pointed an index finger to the sky. Not only was the title of the song the exact word my mind had just used, but I have long associated this song with Hans (one of many songs, but also one of my favorites). I had no doubt this was the Lord confirming something to me, as this was not the first time such a "coincidental" occurrence has happened.

It's important to know that, in the years since Frozen, I have created (and am still creating) multiple fanworks that posit different takes on how a Hans redemption could come about (and that's not including all the ideas I've had that aren't developed enough for full-fledged works). There have been several times when I've questioned the value of creating such things, only to have affirmation of my work come from unexpected sources at just the right time. Additionally, I have had many such question-and-confirmation experiences in my life, as well as a noticeable increase in the quantity of such instances within the past several months (albeit unrelated to Frozen and instead dealing with various other matters, such as my faith, my most recent pregnancy, and random everyday life things). Thus, when this specific incident occurred, I immediately recognized it as yet another such moment.

Since that night in December, I'd been internally debating sharing this anecdote with the world. Every few days or so my mind would recall the incident and I'd consider posting about it, but I'd always end up deciding against it. After all, it is highly personal, and it takes quite a bit of explaining to impart the importance of this experience (and I'm still leaving out personal details which make it much more powerful to me). This went on for some time. In mid-late February, I was once again musing upon the occurrence and whether or not I should share it. I jokingly thought to God: "If I hear 'Redeemed' on the radio this morning I'll take it as a sign I'm supposed to share this." And, since you are reading this post, you must know where this is going. I already had the radio on, and after getting back in my vehicle after child drop-off, I flicked through my presets to find a song I wanted to listen to. And, lo and behold, my second-to-last preset was playing the first verse of "Redeemed." (Granted, all of my presets are Christian radio stations, so that does put the odds more in favor of my "wager" coming true. On the other hand, the song is from 2012. That means it's 7 years old, and I honestly didn’t hear the song very often at the time, as more recent songs get played much more frequently. In my mind, the proposition was a joke, but I suppose I should have known better, since a lot of my recent question-and-confirmation experiences have been me joking and God proceeding to do the thing.) And thus, here we are. The large time gap between the second occurrence and this post is because 1) I take a while to get my thoughts out and refine them into something fit for public eyes, especially in a personal case such as this one, 2) it seemed appropriate to do some art to go with this, since I've been lacking in productivity in the creative departments for some time, and 3) life things requiring my attention.

On an interesting side note, I had three additional confirmations of this post while I was working on it.

#1) When I said, "There have been several times when I've questioned the value of creating such things, only to have affirmation of my work come from unexpected sources at just the right time," there's a particular incident that sticks out to me. One night in 2016, I stayed up late finishing chapter nine of my fanfiction, Frozen: Sacrifice and Forgiveness. Even though I posted the chapter, I was really depressed about it. Thoughts such as, "Is this really something I should be investing so much time in?" and "Does God actually want me to write this story?" weighed heavily on my mind, though I kept them to myself. After some internal arguing, I directed an unspoken question to the Lord: "Is this really what I should be doing?" Not much later, before going to bed, I checked my phone and saw an email from FF.net saying I had a comment on the latest F:SaF chapter. The comment was from a fellow Christian who had read through the posted chapters and was very encouraging about my story. It was just the right kind of affirmation at precisely the right time. Fast-forward to Wednesday, February 27th, 2019. I checked my phone in the morning and saw an email from AO3 that someone has left a comment on the last posted chapter of F:SaF. This was quite surprising, as I haven't updated the fic since September 21st, 2017. The comment was very positive, and it immediately reminded me of this post, which was a WIP in a computer document at the time. Not only did the new comment correlate to the aforementioned unexpected sources of encouragement, but F:SaF has been on my mind recently in terms of working on it again. Then, as the cherry on top, I was listening to the daily scripture reading on the radio while driving to work that morning, and the song that came on immediately afterward was "Redeemed".

#2) On Friday, March 1st, I had finished this post to my general satisfaction (as I knew it still required minor edits, plus I still had to finish my drawing) before getting ready for work. Upon entering my vehicle, I thought, "Wouldn't it be funny if 'Redeemed' played on the radio again?" I then instantly berated myself: "That's dumb. You don't need to be looking for confirmation of things all the time." I then flicked through my presets, and the first verse of "Redeemed" was playing on my second-to-last preset — the same song position and the same preset as when I was debating whether or not to make this post.

#3) On Friday, March 8th, I thought to myself as I was getting ready for work, “I really need to finish that post.” When I started my car, the radio was on, but I didn’t care for the song it was playing, so I jumped to my first preset. “Redeemed” was playing, starting from the very first word of the first verse.

Now, the question is: what was being confirmed to me with the original occurrence in December? The most straightforward answer is Hans' redemption in Frozen II. Mind you, not a redemption based on worldly methods such as "cleaning yourself up" and "earning it," but rooted in the Christian standard of unconditional love, mercy, grace, and faith. I'll admit, it seems far-fetched, given the fact that Disney is not a Christian company and the creative team has no Christians on it (AFAIK). Then again, "What is impossible with man is possible with God." Still, I have thought of other meanings for this incident. Perhaps it was simply a reminder to not get so depressed over a fictional character. Perhaps it was merely encouragement to keep going with my various fan projects, despite Frozen II looming in the distance. Perhaps it was a nudge that the sequel would contain a small hint of a future Hans redemption. Of course, that all sounds like me trying to talk myself out of trusting God for something amazing, as I am prone to doing. It's a struggle to wait on the Lord (especially for someone like me who hates surprises and wants to know things ASAP), but the truth of this incident will be revealed when the time is right.

One may wonder why God would care about a fictional character or a fictional story. It's not that He cares about those things in and of themselves, it's that He cares about His children and the salvation of humanity. My prayers (which are mostly just God-directed thoughts as I go about my day) regarding Hans' redemption were always something along the lines of, "Hey, God, it'd be really awesome if Hans gets redeemed in a way that reflects how Jesus saved us." Then I would mentally argue with myself about even making such a request, and always end at a variation of "Whatever is best, Lord." Though a fictional character's redemption is trivial in the grand scheme of things, God can use the most unexpected means to reach someone regarding a matter of eternal importance. He knows that, for me, this isn't just about a fictional character — it's about using that character's story to connect real people with the hope of the Gospel. Frozen was a movie with weak morals and a character that is looked down upon as irredeemable by the majority of viewers. If, by the grace of God, the sequel displays true love and redemption, then perhaps one soul out there will see the truth: anyone can be saved because Jesus can save anyone.

Feel free to message me if you aren't comfortable utilizing public replies or reblogs. Thank you for reading, and God bless you.

Update (Sept. 4th, 2019): So I’ve been lurking on a few Discord servers for a while now in addition to my Tumblr lurking, and overall there is a very negative attitude regarding Hans returning in F2. It’s coming from all directions: antis/haters who don’t want him in it, neutral parties who don’t see an available role for him to play, and fans who have lost hope due to lack of news. Last night I had an unpleasant dream on the subject. While the specifics are hazy, I know it involved the fandom discussing Hans’ absence in the movie. When I was going about my business this morning, I thought about the dream, this post, and the incident that brought this post into being. I mentally argued with myself, as I often do, about the situation. Lately, I too have been feeling disheartened on this matter. As I said, the fandom as a whole has been negative about this, so it was starting to get to me. In addition to that, as new leaks reveal more of the story, the chances of Hans appearing in any meaningful fashion get slimmer. However, no matter how bleak the outlook, I was given a supernatural sign to keep hope in a Hans redemption. Still, there was always the possibility I had interpreted the incident incorrectly, and adding in the other factors at play, this morning I was once again questioning God. I wanted another sign or some kind of spoiler-type proof, then scolded myself for being greedy and for seeking worldly validation of what God has said (instead of trusting Him to fulfill His promises). I had the radio on KLOVE as I was driving, and one of my “Hans songs” came on. It was a “lower tier” one (a.k.a. one I don’t like quite as much as others), so as I listened to it I thought, “It’d be nice if the next song after this was another good song, but one of the top-tier ones. It’d make me feel better about this whole thing.” Of course, I then chided myself, thinking, “Why are you always asking for stuff? Isn’t what you have already enough?” The song came to an end, and the next song began to play. It was “Redeemed.”

#Frozen 2 #Frozen II #Prince Hans #Frozen Hans #Frozen #Hans #redemption #Christian #Christianity #my art #KAM's thoughts #KAM's personal stuff #KAM's art

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eggoreviews · 5 years

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E3 2019 Nintendo Direct - BREAKDOWN

Oh wow. That big ol direct sure was something. So now I’m here to break down everything that happened in unnecessary fashion and give my personal reaction to everything that happened with my tried and true Excitement Rater. Want to see my heavily scientific and not at all arbitrary process? Then click down to see the deets.

Before we kick off my (very very scientific) breakdown of this year’s packed direct, I thought I’d briefly go over how I rate things:

A random string of letters/numbers = Immeasurable excitement

YEEHAW BABEY = Big excitement

Heck Yeck = Vague excitement

Yeah! = Not really excited, but still could be good

Sure, why not? = I’m more confused than excited but sure

Oh = The excitement isn’t there

Oh no = Used on the rare occasion I really don’t like what I’ve seen

The Hero from the Dragon Quest series in Smash!

After a brief montage of some games that already came out I guess, the direct jumps straight into an ominous shot of World of Light baddie Dharkon, followed by a seemingly hopeless fight between Link and one very possessed Marth. Then the Luminary turns up gloriously on his horse. With all the leaks that had been flying around for so long, I think pretty much everyone had accepted the presence of Dragon Quest at this point and I was totally stoked when this happened! I love Dragon Quest! And my boi from 11 is here, along with a few other DQ veterans as alt swaps and a pretty awesome looking stage overlooking what seems to be the land of Erdrea and the World Tree. Now to wait until summer and hope the Smash team have some sick ass remixes for us when the time comes!

Excitement Rating: YEEHAW BABEY

Dragon Quest XI S: Echoes of an Elusive Age - Definitive Edition

In a move that makes it a lil obvious that DQ’s Smash addition was more than a little commercially minded (not that I really care I’m still big hyped), a trailer for the expanded edition of the series’ latest installment follows. Seeming as I’ve already played this, I doubt I’ll be picking it up again but I still heartily recommend the game to any JRPG fan. Admittedly, the fact you apparently get to explore worlds from past games is pretty exciting.

ER: Heck Yeck

Luigi’s Mansion 3

In a way I thought was surprising, Nintendo’s first proper focus of Luigi’s Mansion 3 actually took up more time than Animal Crossing, but I guess that’s because it’s further along in development. We now know that the game is set within a haunted hotel and had some new gameplay features shown off, including the various ways Luigi can succ a ghost. Most exciting I think for me was the various multiplayer aspects, such as the local co-op option to play as Gooigi and the seemingly challenge and minigame-based ‘Scarescraper’ which I think incorporates online co-op too. Overall, this is looking to be a creative and well thought out entry in the series and I’m here for it.

ER: Heck Yeck

The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance - Tactics

A licensed tie-in game for a thirty year old film feels a little odd, but I suppose stranger things have happened. This looks to be a sort of top-down tactical thingy involving the various characters from The Dark Crystal and for some reason Netflix is involved, I don’t know, but I guess it could be interesting.

ER: Sure, why not?

The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening

The adorable remake of this classic Game Boy title seems to be coming along great and this direct’s extended trailer gave us a good look at what we’ll be exploring come September 20th. The overhaul Koholint Island has had is phenomenal, giving us designs for Link and various other characters that we’ve never seen before and that makes this remake look especially unique. Another very exciting aspect for me was the dungeon builder that looks like great fun! You collect different dungeon parts as you go and then you can build and explore your own! Am I a goblin child or does that sound like the best thing ever?

ER: YEEHAW BABEY!!

Trials of Mana / Collection of Mana

I’ll admit I’m not really familiar with the Mana series, but from what I was shown in this direct, it looks to be a fairly standard JRPG. That’s definitely not a bad thing, as most JRPGs are amazing, but nothing in this trailer really stood out and came into its own. That being said, the gameplay and graphics look pretty solid and I’m sure the Mana fans have been fairly starved for content for a while so that’s something to look forward to. On top of this remake/new game with the same title as an older game (I really don’t know), the Collection of Mana containing the series’ first three games is being released real soon on the eShop.

ER: Yeah!

The Witcher III: Wild Hunt - Complete Edition

Following a few scattered rumours, we finally have confirmation that a Witcher 3 port is in fact in the works, coming packed with all the game’s DLC. This basically legendary RPG is not one I personally had a great experience with, but I’m sure a lot of people are gonna be happy to play this in handheld. I’d keep expectations tempered however, with the likes of Assassin’s Creed 3 and Saints Row the Third proving that these ports don’t always function brilliantly on this platform.

ER: Yeah!

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Yet another and probably our last Fire Emblem trailer was shown in this direct, giving us a better look at how the story might play out and what our villains are going to be. With most of the gameplay features explored in the previous February direct, it’s good to have a slightly better idea as to what’s actually going on in terms of story and, to me, the results seem pretty damn good. Definitely one to keep an eye on!

ER: Heck Yeck

Resident Evil

In a slightly unnecessarily convoluted advert, we were given a two minute reel of two teenagers playing the original RE in tabletop mode in an abandoned house (??), along with the kind of less than exciting announcement that we’re getting the two weakest entries in the series for Switch, RE 5 and 6. I probably wasn’t the only one who felt a little passive about this whole thing. That being said, definitely not complaining about 1 & 4 being ported over.

ER: Oh

No More Heroes III

After the very slightly disappointing Travis Strikes Again, I really wasn’t expecting them to drop a trailer for the series’ third mainline installment so soon after. What we’ve seen looks pretty much like classic Travis, with a smidge of gameplay seen that looks just a bit more like what we’re used to. Of course, with this being the first reveal, there’s still a lot to find out but this looks very promising.

ER: Heck Yeck

Contra: Rogue Corps / Contra: Anniversary Collection

I’m not gonna pretend to be familiar with the Contra series, but this doesn’t at all look like what I’ve seen in the past. Honestly, this seemingly tactical shooter didn’t elicit much excitement from me and neither did its rushed character drops or its oddly rough textures. I’m unsure of actual fan reactions to this, but in my mind this one kind of sits in the ‘guess this exists’ category. As well as this, we got a shadowdrop for the Contra Anniversary Collection, whereas Rogue Corps comes on September 24th.

ER: Oh

Daemon X Machina

In what seems to be almost a mainstay in Nintendo directs, we’ve got another vague trailer for this mech shooter that finally has a confirmed release date of September 13th. The gameplay looks harmless enough, with the mechs seeming to be a blast to pilot, but beyond that, I can’t really see a lot of substance that would draw me in beyond the cool robots. I’m sure it could be good, but not really one for me.

ER: Yeah!

Panzer Dragoon

I was completely unsure of what this one was, but it looks a bit like a cross between The Last Guardian and those bullet hell sections from Kingdom Hearts 2. They’ve certainly nailed the smooth graphics and the cool looking creatures, but this one is mostly a case of needing to know more.

ER: Yeah!

Pokemon Sword & Shield

This one’s obviously a title so monumental that it consistently needs its own directs, but there wasn’t any *real* news about it in this direct. We were given a brief explanation as to how the Pokeball Plus works in conjunction with the games (something to do with taking your Pokemon for a walk) and the fact that we’ll see more gameplay during Nintendo’s Treehouse streams. Still, excitement remains pretty high for these titles.

ER: Heck Yeck!

Astral Chain

This game, to put it bluntly, looks awesome. The newest Platinum Games IP seems to be set in Blade Runneresque futuristic city with an alien threat and some cool ass looking fighting police people. Our second proper look at this game has cleared up a few murky doubts as to what exactly is supposed to be happening, so now we’ve got a much better idea of what this game is going to be. The story seems pretty full and polished, the gameplay looks like brilliant fun and I’m definitely not mad at the cool monster designs. This is one I’m definitely watching.

ER: Heck Yeck!!!

Empire of Sin

I know very little about what this game is supposed to be, but it looks to be a 40s gangster XCOM, substituting alien fighting marines with gun toting mafia dudes. The trailer went for style over substance, giving us an edgy visual thing of some burning playing cards and broken bottles, but the little gameplay we saw looked decent enough and may just end up injecting more variety into this genre.

ER: Yeah!

Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3: The Black Order

An obvious pick for any Marvel fan, this hack-and-slash is jam packed with various heroes and villains from the comic series’ rich history. Ghost Rider and Elektra were among those revealed to be playable, while the likes of Mysterio, Hela, the Destroyer, Doctor Octopus, Surtur and MODOK are seemingly part of growing cast of villains. Looks like a good bit of fun if nothing else, though the immediate presence of a season pass is a tiny red flag.

ER: Yeah!

Cadence of Hyrule

In an unexpected but greatly welcomed crossover between Nintendo’s RPG titan Zelda series and the indie developed Crypt of the Necrodancer, a new rhythm based dungeon crawler with some brand new Zelda remixes and the presence of Link and Zelda as playable characters. This game’s retro graphics look totally adorable and the addition of the Gohmaracas were a definite highlight.

ER: Heck Yeck!!!!!

Mario & Sonic at the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games

Tell you what, this definitely looks like a Mario and Sonic Olympic Games game. There looks to be a decent amount of variety in terms of what sports are involved and with its online multiplayer, there’s no shortage of vaguely cartoon sportyness to be had with friends both real and virtual. I’d be lying if I said I was totally disinterested because it does look a bit fun, but we all know it won’t be anything groundbreaking.

ER: Yeah!

Animal Crossing: New Horizons

In a fairly drastic formula change, Nintendo have decided to strand us on a desert island rather than move us innocently to another village, but Tom Nook is still here and oh yes he’s coming to collect his bells. From this surprisingly brief trailer, most of Animal Crossing’s core gameplay seems to be intact, with the return of craftable items from Pocket Camp, and the sudden bombshell that the game has been pushed back to March next year. Never going to be a bad thing if the finished product is all the better for it, but I guess that just means more info is to come!

ER: Heck Yeck

Highlight Reel

In what looks like a list of honourable mentions, Nintendo gave us a laundry list of other titles coming to the system:

Spyro Reignited Trilogy is joining Crash on the Switch with his acclaimed remaster trilogy.

Hollow Knight: Silksong, the prequel to the original game, looks just as charmingly dark as its predecessor.

Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch is showing up I guess, but I’ll come out and say I know nothing about it except that it looks cute.

Minecraft Dungeons looks better than it has any right to be and looks a bit like blocky Diablo I guess

The Elder Scrolls: Blades sure exists and I’m unsure of what it’s trying to be, but whatever quells off the need for Elder Scrolls 6 I guess.

My Friend Pedro, another strangely unique title from Devolver Digital, looks like it somehow incorporates banana peels into its combat system.

Doom Eternal looks like Doom always does, but a distinct lack of gameplay may put its dual release with the other consoles into question.

The Sinking City with its Lovecraftian inspiration looks totally brilliant and looks to be a unique experience for sure, so eyes firmly open for this one

Wolfenstein Youngblood definitely looks all Wolfenstein-y, but rumours of Dishonored-like sandbox levels has definitely piqued my interest.

Dead by Daylight still looks unfortunately a bit eh, with its slightly not great graphical quality from what we’ve seen in the trailers.

Alien Isolation was an extremely odd one, but I’m not gonna say no to more good horror content on the console.

Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles seems to be continually delayed, but they’ll probably get round to it eventually.

Dragon Quest Builders 2 looks adorable and I’m very into the idea of Dragon Quest Minecraft, so sign me up.

Stranger Things 3: The Game looks a little more SNES-like in terms of graphics than its 8 Bit mobile predecessor, which is definitely a decent step. An obvious pick for fellow fans of the show.

Just Dance 2020 is definitely a Just Dance game. Yep, sure is. I even checked. And it is.

Catan is a tabletop game of sorts, but I really couldn’t figure out what kind from that few seconds of vague footage.

New Super Lucky’s Tale looks like Bubsy, but actually good and worth real money

Dauntless looks like a bit of a Monster Hunter clone, but you know, doesn’t look terrible.

And lastly, Super Mario Maker 2 was tacked on the end there to remind us all that Nintendo is taking our money in 2 weeks.

Banjo-Kazooie become Smash Ultimate’s 3rd DLC Fighter

Just when we all petering out a little and the hype seemed all but dormant, they go and drop this on us out of nowhere. While I personally don’t have an attachment to the bear and bird, I’m fully aware of their significance and how much they mean to a lot of people out there. And that excitement ended up being contagious, so this fact coupled with a pitch perfect reveal trailer has got me hugely hyped to see these guys join the fight come autumn.

ER: YEEHAW BABEY

Sequel to The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

And now, dear reader, for the reveal that removed my scalp and cut out my eyeballs. At first, I was totally confused as to what this could be. And then I recognised the symbols, and then my perfect lil Hyrule eggs come on the screen and it’s all spooky and there’s dead Ganondorf and I don’t clock the fact that I’ve just screamed out loud. A direct sequel to my absolute favourite game of all time is happening and it’s real and I get to live another adventure in the best game world ever crafted all over again. I think it’s safe to say I have transcended the definition of hype when it comes to this one.

ER: AAA!!! AA!!! GFFGF!!! THIS!!! ZELDA!!!! HGGGG!!!!

So there’s my probably a little stupid breakdown of everything Nintendo bestowed upon us this E3. Guess I’ll jump in after the next direct to give you yet another heavily scientific analysis of its events. Or I’ll babble at you until I start punching the keyboard. Either way, happy trails my dudes. Don’t let the hype bugs bite.

#e3 #e3 2019 #zelda #loz #the legend of zelda #mario #smash #super smash bros #super smash ultimate #astral chain #fire emblem #animal crossing #pokemon #Luigi's Mansion #dragon quest #final fantasy #nintendo #marvel #resident evil

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angelinarecs · 5 years

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*Updated* The Librarian Recs

Don’t mind me casually logging back into tumblr to rec more fanfic after being out for a while.

Enjoy some updated fic recs for The Librarians (which I recently got my spouse addicted to). Still mad that this show gave me so many emotions. If you want to follow the full rec list, here’s the link.

Gen

Anytime - Episode tag to “And the Fangs of Death”. What was Ezekiel feeling and thinking at the end? Hurt/Comfort/Family. Ezekiel’s thoughts while facing the prospect of losing himself completely and the surety that his friends will do what they have to do for him. One-shot.

Bite the Bullet - When Ezekiel’s shot during a mission, will his family be able to save him in time? Ezekiel whump. Hurt/Comfort/Angst. What is says on the tin, pure Ezekiel whump and his team worrying after their resident master thief. It’s short and the composition isn’t the best, but the writing is alright. Three-shot, complete.

Escapades - Jenkins is careful when he drops the Australian onto the bed, moving to haul the blankets back and over the weary figure thats curling around one of the fluffier pillows. “Now, sleep, and hopefully tomorrow you’ll be well enough to explain to me what he hell you were doing getting shot at.” He snips.

“Fine…but we n’ver tell Baird bout this, eh?” Ezekiel mutters, eyes slipping closed as exhaustion crashes over him. Hurt/Comfort/Friendship. Ezekiel manages to get himself shot and poisoned. Jenkins is there to pick up the pieces. Lots of snark, a little bit of swearing, and tons of angst to go around. One-shot.

Ezekiel Jones and the Silver Coin - When a wealthy woman is murdered by a thief who broke into her home to steal her most prized possession, the Librarians are sent to Dublin, Ireland to investigate, despite the appearance of it being a normal theft and murder. After their first run in with the monster, everything changes for the Librarians’ own thief as he begins to second guess his decision to become a Librarian. Fantasy/Hurt/Comfort. A series centering around the search for an artifact and Ezekiel’s own personal battles as he meets up with unexpected and unwelcome people from his past. I always enjoy stories that look to flesh out what the Librarians-in-training were like before the Library called them. Complete.

Flight Risk - Ezekiel never meant to do a lot of things: Get caught. Get caught by Flynn. Have Baird find his file, etc… He also never meant to let a sad looking gargoyle steal his heart. But you know, accidents happen. Fluff. Another Stumpy fix-it, because dammit guys, that gargoyle and Ezekiel deserved better! One-shot.

Home - A life-threatening incident in the library makes Cassandra and Jake realize just how much Ezekiel means to them and how much they mean to Ezekiel. In the after-math, Cassandra must learn to overcome her guilt and Jake must learn to appreciate those around him. Hurt/Comfort/Family. An accident injures Ezekiel and forces those around them to consider how much the thief has changed and how much he has changed them. A fairly standard use of hurt/comfort to force emotional introspection and touchy-feely confessions, but still a good read. One-shot.

In My Nature - A collection of stories fleshing out my ideas for the mysterious origins of Ezekiel Jones. Not based on any spoilers just my imagination. Drama/Angst. A series of stand-alone one-shots that each tell of a different origin for the resident thief. Some of these are very creative and I really appreciate the diversity of examples and the move away from the tropic “tragic past” that so many of these characters invariably end up with. WIP, a series of one-shots with no unresolved story arcs.

The Boy and his Gargoyle - Jacob notices how Ezekiel feels about Stumpy’s demise and recruits Cassandra to do something about it. Because someone needed to write this. Family/Fantasy. Poor Stumpy was honestly a really cute edition to the show and I really enjoyed seeing Ezekiel care about a magical item so much. The story is definitely s Stumpy fix-it that serves to showcase the friendship of Ezekiel, Cassandra, and Stone. One-shot.

The Feeling is Mutual - Ezekiel shut his eyes as the pressure and pain in his head began to ebb away. Ezekiel had to admit, he was a little disappointed. When his mind had first hatched the haphazard idea, a large part of him had been hoping he’d lose those memories. But, he supposed, nothing ever worked out like that. Just his luck. Hurt/Comfort/Family. In the process of defeating a magical creature, Ezekiel reveals to his team that he still remembers the events of the video game loop. In turn, his team helps him deal with his memories. One-shot.

Ezekiel, Stone Friendship

And the Returned Favor - Ezekiel sneezed. This, in and of itself, probably wouldn’t have been very dramatic. At least, not for normal people. Ezekiel Jones was not normal people. He did nothing by half measures; if he couldn’t do something right, then he wasn’t going to make a point to do it at all. Hurt/Comfort/Drama. Ezekiel gets sick, and then nearly kills himself fighting off an intruder in the library. Or, the time everyone finally realized that the resident thief was a self-sacrificing bitch. A good story with a really weird paragraph structure. Seriously, it seems the majority of this story is one sentence paragraphs. One-shot.

Hero Material - “What do you mean the amulet could kill me!” Ezekiel is not having a good day. Hurt/Comfort. Ezekiel nearly sacrifices himself trying to save his friends and he is not happy about it the entire way through. Poor Stone has to try and couch him through the ordeal without losing his friend. One-shot.

Of Oubliettes and Other Obstacles - Broken bones, a concussion, and a hole in the ground. Yeah, no, this assignment was completely awful. Or: Jake and Ezekiel tumble into an oubliette and have to keep each other alive until help comes. Shouldn’t be a problem, right? Lots of whump and hurt/comfort abound! Hurt/Comfort. Pretty much what is says on the tin, Jake tries his best to keep everyone alive and the situation as under control as he can manage. Purely hurt/comfort and friendship for a rainy day. One-shot.

Remind You of Someone You’ve Never Met - Ezekiel’s been doing well, all things considered, with the aftermath of the time-loop. Honestly, a bad day was bound to happen. Just his luck it was in the middle of a case. Drama. Ezekiel has a flash back and Jake coaches him through it. This story highlights Ezekiel confronting his memories and making small-steps towards acknowledging that they are issues and that he isn’t alone. I really appreciated that this story didn’t set out to fix everything and simply dealt with that first foot forward. Two-shot.

Running Hot - Jake and Ezekiel get a new understanding of one another. Of course, it’s brought on by intense fevers and a shower. Not a pairing but if you squint I suppose. Hurt/Comfort/Friendship. An illness helps to expose Ezekiel’s backstory and his vulnerability causes Stone to reconsider some of his opinions regarding the other librarian. Not a bad use of hurt/comfort, even if it is a fairly standard use. One-shot.

Jake/Ezekiel

And the Behavioral Side Effects of Lycanthropy - After being cured of temporary lycanthropy, Ezekiel has some lasting behavioral side effects. The compulsion to chase balls, the compulsion to chase cars, being on edge for no reason. Oh, and not being able to sleep alone anymore. But Jake’s got a fix for that. In a friend way. Just a bro helping a bro. Fluff. This is solidly pre-slash, but the boys are adorable, confused, and just trying to figure out cuddling in the aftermath of Ezekiel’s near transformation. I appreciate the little touches of Ezekiel having to remind himself he’s human and not a wolf. And Jake’s ‘no-homo’ attitude even though it is very much homo is hilarious. One-shot.

While the Bars of Sunset Hold - Sure, he might still be able to be Ezekiel Jones: World Class Thief, but what if he was no longer good enough to be Ezekiel Jones: Librarian? Hurt/Comfort. Ezekiel is tortured and is left wondering whether or not he can continue to be a Librarian in his current state. Jake clears up any confusion and shares a heartfelt moment with the “World Class Thief.“ One-shot.

Jake/Ezekiel/Cassandra

And the Proximity Addiction - When they start dating, Ezekiel isn’t a fan of touching. That changes, and boy, when it does, it changes. Romance. A fluffy one-shot concerning Ezekiel’s proclivity for cuddling and how his partners view it. Told through a conversation between Eve and Cassandra over milkshakes. One-shot.

Charged - With the tilt of a head the evening star, Venus, came into view. She looked down at the three tangled hearts on earth with her bright shine and pride. Or: Sunsets and Subtext. Romance. A slice of life short story about the relationship between Jake, Ezekiel, and Cassandra as seen through an evening of joy. One-shot.

Getting Warmer - Ezekiel Jones doesn’t lose to the cold. But Jake and Cassandra might just lose him to it. Hurt/Comfort/Angst. During a mission, Ezekiel nearly dies from hypothermia. Jake and Cassandra are forced to think over his stupidly self-sacrificing ways and what they would do without their friend. Eve just wonders when they will all stop being so blind and just get together already. One-shot.

The Best Kind of Medicine - Ezekiel has a cold and the other Librarians come to the rescue. Fluff. Seriously just reccing this story for these lovable tree idiots and the their sleepovers/snuggles. One-shot.

Tread Lightly - “Everyone wants a taste,” He tells them, laughing it off as if he couldn’t care either way. “But nobody really wants the bill.” Romance/Angst. Jake and Cassandra want to bring Ezekiel into the fold of their relationship, Ezekiel is unsure how to move forward. A tender and in character story of how Ezekiel is brought into Jake and Cassandra’s romance. One-shot.

We’ll Catch You While We Can - Each of them have different relationships with personal space. Fitting them all together is a little weird, a little rocky. But they figure it out, in the end. Fluff/Angst/Hurt/Comfort. A look into the librarians’ past, emotions, and developing relationship through the lens of physical touch. This was honestly a very clever framing device that allows for the reader to engage with both the characters and the unfolding relationship on a similar theme. It’s cute and heartwarming and angsty in all the right places. Three-shot, complete.

#The Librarians #the librarians fanfiction #Ezekiel Jones #jacob stone #cassandra cillian #Jenkins #ezekiel/jake #cassandra/jake/ezekiel #stumpy the gargoyle #angelina's recs

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suntypes-blog · 5 years

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this is very long and not really edited godspeed [f18 wrap-up]

__The more I think about 2018 the less I want to dive in. People post when they’re happy, when they have something to share and show off, so naturally I’ve been inundated w square after square of “the happiest year of my life!” and “2018 was so sweet!” We’re taught that every year should be better than the last because that’s progress. Life is a charge against entropy and if you’re the sad ones that get caught in the current- you’re losing. (1/1/19 )

__It’s almost funny how triumphantly I set off for 2018. Sophomore spring was fresh but so perfectly well-worn and I sank freely into that tempurpedic mattress of campaign affirmations and idealistic friendship dynamics. Not to say I’m finishing the year, or more accurately starting 2019, in a sad place- there’s just less of the surety I felt prior which I’ve always told myself was weakness, but now that I’ve been transported here to this blank post that’s a diagnosis I don’t think I can stand by. All this rambling to say: I’m learning to question myself in the micro as I choose to zoom out and reckon with all dust filled corners to present a me I’m proud of. I’m rerouting.

But that’s not exactly what this is about. This is for Fall 2018 because heck yEaH I’m a student and my life is dictated by the academic calendar!! I’m introspective as fuck but this semester took a distinctly reclusive (comparatively) and ~berkeley~ turn. (1/9/19)

__I have never before moved with such bone-deep tiredness. I have never before cancelled meetings or meetups to stay home and sleep. I have never before relied so solely on chemical energy. I have never before cried quite like that. I have never before shaken with anger quite like that. But this is all internal, in-my-own-head concerns. Though i lived dictated by color-coded rectangles on a phone screen I was never buried below and I count that as a win.

Headspace is conditioned by context and a week ago I wouldn’t have been able to look back this comparably chipper. It wasn’t a good semester and it wasn’t bad- all circumstances withstanding it was possibly the best it could’ve been. I went in cocooned in mantras of “you’re going to die” and “please drop something” but commitments aren’t necessarily always our own choice and i quite plainly refuse to acquiesce to someone else’s estimate of my own capacity. I can drive myself mad but ultimately i know my own limits. I know what’s worth it and what’s not and if my mental calculation has landed me at square wtf then so be it.

There are different energies at play- maybe this is what kept me afloat. The weariness i feel from overstudying is far removed from that which burns the rubber in my soles running to put out fires. I view myself from a distance in variations of lists, linear pathways, and interval meters and in my mind’s eye these energies float steadily at the bottom of my mental screen. A dip in one is offset by a rise in another and though I may put aside sleep my body screams for in favor of a conversation with a friend- ultimately my meters balance. Maybe i’m mental for computerizing my physicality but it’s been survival successful. A late night studying is oddly rejuvenating against the foil of drama and one well timed call fills me to max with magic wrought from hard earned familiarity.

I made an effort to schedule alone time so i could pursue the things that are tied to no other aspect in my life that hold an untainted peace. Goodwill and embroidery satisfied that and more, and to me it’s a precious thing. There’s no long term goal but it feels like an investment in just me and god damn it i’ll be selfish here. Solitude was never something i desired in the past but fall forced a mental switch for sake of sanity and though it felt like i relinquished control to some deep subconscious i’m thankful now.

It really is true that people are the most important determinant of one’s joy. I’m fucking lucky, i know, to have the friends i do both here and in irvine. Home is a funky concept but i breathe deeper in comfort and there’s nothing quite as wonderful as comfortable silence with others. All those prior “have never before”s made fall foggy but peaks above are indeed there and zoomed in are the manifestation of the feeling of being held. Closeness and trust are something i think we all hope for in our relationships with others and to me there’s no greater reassurance than knowing you are held despite whatever wild emotions or crises like to scream your faults.

Though i’ve been actively combating it, sharing often still blares weakness in the hollow of my head. My mind runs tests and scenarios no one needs to know of and sprints both too far in front and behind so really what’s the purpose of opening it a crack for it just to be beat down in the stampede? All abstractions aside one of my goals for the semester was to learn how to share in media res and not purely after it’s perfectly packed, wrapped, and slapped with a bow.

Of course this touches nothing of my on paper responsibilities and asuc, stacks, school ran circles around me, but hey i got through with initial goals semi-achieved and though my cynicism may have grown it’s all conditional in the end.

This isn’t a psychoanalysis of all existing connections but far more me-driven. This is me trying to progress and as much as the people i’ve been blessed with mold that I aim to be satisfied with the steel frame that is within and frankly forever stuck. To sum things up and purely because i have a raging crush on lists, have the following:

I like to theme my semesters and fall was a mission in three parts:

Staying genuine

Sharing struggles in media res

Personal branding

A few things I told myself throughout:

I would allow more time for hobbies whether such time existed or not

I would spend time with the people I care about no matter how inconvenient (hello postgrads ily)

I would fulfill all my responsibilities as presently as possible and hold myself to my own standards

Yeah I like creative outlets but that’s not my future job

I’m one person and as much as I love compartmentalizing it’s time to consider cohesiveness

Major shifts, good or bad:

You don’t love Berkeley any less, but you no longer want to stay forever.

Your tolerance for people that you find annoying is nearing zero.

You love to be alone and to just lie on your rug doing nothing, not even thinking.

You’re addicted to thrifting.

You acquired a newfound love for exclusion yikes.

Art!! A lot!!

You’re still more closed off, but mostly by convenience and no longer by a profound sense of unease. (For example: sharing all this doesn’t scare you shitless! a concept!)

Things to work on in 2019:

Not apologizing for things I’m not actually sorry about just to seem polite

Write more thought essays

Not immediately writing off things I disagree with + productive confrontation / don’t fester

Spend less

Hone in on what you want- career mostly but also choose an art to grow

Church attendance

Doing things because you feel convicted to not just because you think you should

Call mom and dad more

Good job on:

Staying committed to friendships

Finally getting that tattoo

Not compromising your values w drama

Finding better music

Finally looking externally how you feel internally

Grateful for:

Friends that pour into you and hold you even when you make it hard.

Rough situations that allowed for much needed conversations and adapting

Facetime even with shitty wifi

Newfound breadth of friends and thus learned experience of others

Collab playlists

Surprise epiphanies born from unexpected discussions

Escape

Big love to:

Robin

Grace

Jess

Camille

Katie

Audrey

Karlo

Jeremiah

Angie

There’s no moral or lesson learned- I guess this is just me fighting against myself so really it’s all just perspective in the end.

#will i regret this later tbh probably #a lot of potentially nonsensical abstractions and internal musings #me #fight me #sharing is not caring it's weird but o well #f18 #fall #2018 #if u actually read it i'm impressed

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nanowrimo · 6 years

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I Wrote a Novel, Now What? Congratulations—You’re Only Halfway Done!

We hope you’ve had a chance to catch up on sleep and are now starting to reread and revise your NaNo novels. Writing a draft is only half the battle, so today author Laura VanArendonk Baugh shares some questions to ask yourself when you’re revising:

If they’d asked me, it would be called NaDraWriMo: National Draft Writing Month.

Don’t get me wrong—writing 50,000 words in a month is a big accomplishment, and I’m not taking anything away from that. But it’s not accurate to think of it as a finished novel just yet.

Fortunately, we have the next eleven months for revisions! Revision is not a luxury; it’s an essential part of finishing a novel.

“When I say writing, O believe me, it is rewriting that I have chiefly in mind.”

–Robert Louis Stevenson

But without the communal adrenaline of NaNoWriMo—and let’s be honest, it’s far less thrilling to post “I removed a weak subplot” than to update that purple bar—it can be hard to maintain that promise to revise. Rewriting is also very different than writing, so it can be hard to know how to even start.

Here is how I do it:

Structure & Pacing

When you’re beginning to revise, ask yourself: Does my story follow a standard plot arc? If not, why not, and does it still work?

This is the first and most critical component. It does not matter how poetic your sentences are if the story is unsatisfying. The question posed at the beginning must be answered at the end.

You may need to add a subplot for depth, or remove that bunny trail. Each scene must simultaneously advance plot and characterization. Any scene, even one you enjoy, that doesn’t meet this criteria is deleted from the manuscript. This is brutal work, but necessary. Loose prose written under pressure needs to be distilled to pure story. Writing a log line—a single sentence to summarize premise and plot—can help you simplify your structural analysis. Try it!

The key may also be to just finish the thing! Fifty thousand words is about two-thirds of a traditional mainstream novel, so depending on your story and genre, you may not be done yet. My 2017 project will be complete at 90,000 words, so just a few thousand more and then I’ll start revising.

Characterization

It takes me a while to understand my characters. I don’t really know someone until I drop him into the middle of a plot and see what he does.

I may revise early scenes with the complex personalities of later writing. Does her knowledge of sushi help to identify the murderer? Go back and drop a kappa roll reference in her introduction. Humanize a dull character by giving him a fear of spiders or heights. Let a villain snuggle a kitten to show he’s not all bad.

I also make sure each character has a consistent voice, but that individual characters’ voices differ. Try rewriting a scene without any dialogue tags, and see if you can distinguish each speaker; if you can’t tell who’s who, it may be time to focus on distinct character voices.

Wordsmithing & Polishing

This is the final (and for me, the most fun!) part of revision. This is where we take sandpaper to the rough story and polish it into gleaming brilliance. This is where manuscripts start to sing.

You can get those shining, perfect lines in your first draft too, of course. But like a diamond in the rough, they cannot be fully appreciated until they are given a proper setting.

Save this line editing for after structural revisions, lest you spend hours perfecting scenes you’ll end up cutting. I used to get caught in this most enjoyable part of revisions, but to be efficient with my time, I’ve made it my reward for getting through structural editing.

Tackle Those Revisions!

Revisions are usually most effective when we’ve had time away. My manuscript and I will agree to see other people for a while, and then I’ll come back with a fresh outlook. Remember, you have time to make it great!

Need more detailed guidance? Editor Janeen Ippolito of Uncommon Universes Press has a series on revisions with links to other free resources.

Enjoy your deserved break after your hard November push, but don’t forget the next step toward finishing your novel. Happy revisions!

Laura VanArendonk Baugh is an award-winning writer of fantasy (epic, urban, and historical), mystery, and non-fiction, both traditionally and independently published. Her NaNoWriMo fantasy The Songweaver’s Vow is a semi-finalist for SPFBO’s Best of 2017. Visit her website to learn more.

Top image licensed under Creative Commons from Ben Terrett on Flickr.

#nanowrimo #nano 2017 #nanowrimo 2017 #now what #by oll guest #editing #revising #laura baugh

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ladyofpurple · 6 years

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GIRL ITS BEEN MONTHS SINCE YOU UPDATED TPOY!! please tell me you haven’t given up on it )-:

I KNOW IM REALLY SORRY OMG

This took a bit longer to answer than it should have because I was trying to figure out how to reply, I guess?? The short answer is basically that writing bits of fic during my exams when I didn’t actually have the time to was super productive, mainly because I Didn’t Want To Do The Thing but my entire future hinged on Doing The Thing and anxiety-driven avoidance is excellent creative fuel, apparently. The problem is, of course, that once I finished and started getting my results back and actually had time to breathe again my brain kinda fizzled out and I never wanted to look at a Word document ever again in my life. Writing is really hard right now, for some reason. And not just TPoy — everything I try to write either gives me a headache, makes every idea I’ve ever had go flying out the window like magic, or looks like absolute garbage to me. (I’ve been trying, though, I promise!!!) There is more TPoY, though!! I swear to God!! It’s just coming along a little slower than anticipated.

The long answer is... a little more complicated and probably more than you’re interested in, and the main reason is the short one anyway. But I’ll put a long answer under a cut just in case (aka the entire history of TPoY lol), since I’ve lowkey wanted to post about it for a while now but didn’t quite know how to? May get a little very personal, I suppose.

Basically, TPoY is and always has been a garbage fic. I don’t say that to disparage my own writing or attempt to elicit praise from anyone: I have always considered it a glorious dumpster fire of experimentation, a ridiculous Frankenstein’s monster of all my favorite ML tropes as a practice run, since it had been so long since attempting to write anything at all. I’m thrilled that people like it, of course! Whenever people send me asks about it my answers always involve a lot of exclamation points and variations on “I AM CURRENTLY SOBBING ON THE FLOOR IN GRATITUDE” because I honestly have no idea how to express how genuinely teary-eyed I get when someone tells me how much they like it, or post a comment. That being said, it was always intended for my own amusement and/or therapy, and that it’s gotten so many bookmarks and kudos and comments is incredibly surreal, even after a whole year.

When I started writing it, I was working through a lot of stuff. My first boyfriend had broken up with me, and as we lived together in his hometown I was stuck there on my own for another year before I could move back home. 2016 was filled with a lot of horrifying shit that kept happening one after the other and I eventually almost had to drop out of school because I couldn’t handle it all. The relationship was pretty toxic but all I knew at the time was that I was scared and alone and heartbroken.

When I started writing, it was after 8 months of the worst bout of depression I’ve ever experienced, and I still wasn’t well, but I functioned passably enough to start hyperfocusing on things. I had an idea about a fic I suddenly wanted to write, and it would have a happy ending and all, but I could work through my feelings in a way I hadn’t tried to since before my ex and I got together. I pulled a lot of the start of the fic (the rejection, the miscommunication, the avoidance) from my recent breakup, yes, but also from my first rejection, aka the only other boy I’d liked enough to confess my feelings to. We were 17, and he admitted that he knew, and then suddenly we weren’t friends anymore. A year and a half later, I got together with my ex, and suddenly after three years of dedicating my life to “us” on his whims he was ghosting me without explanation.

I see a lot of myself in Marinette at that age. The awkwardness, the enthusiasm, the incredibly obvious lovesick obsession with a cute boy who’s nice to you. I wondered if maybe she would react the same, if put into similar circumstances as I had been. Focus on the self-doubt that would follow, based on insecurities she’s already shown in the show — coupled with your standard teenage hormone-fest —and you’d have a fabulous starter for angstfic and a free therapy session all in one.

The problem with that is nobody knows this backstory but me. People focusing on Marinette’s insecurities is nothing new. Other people are annoyed it’s such a popular trope. And the fact that I’ve chosen to focus on certain aspects of the main characters’ identities for the purposes of a story I started on a whim has been making me insecure for a long time because people in the fandom are tired of those characterizations. I’ve never gotten hate comments —I don’t even remember ever getting constructive criticism on TPoY. But I’m well aware that the plot is far from original and definitely lacking in certain places, and as the comments roll in and the hits go up my anxiety mounts because oh my God I’m that guy in the fandom.

I always intended on focusing on different aspects of their characterizations in different fics to suit the plot, y’know? Not ignoring parts of their personalities, but just... emphasizing other parts. But TPoY is the one most people have read. I have a couple one-shots where I tried to do something like that, with different aspects of their characters, but short one-shots can’t really compare to a 100,000+ word WIP, even if they even slightly compared in popularity (they don’t). So my only notable contribution to the fandom is TPoY. And that makes me anxious.

Then there’s the Frankenstein-like obsession with adding every trope I’ve ever wanted to write in a fic like this. I’ve mentioned before that the original plan for this was, like, 10-15 chapters at most. But every chapter I write I’m like, “But what if I did this???” Like I said, I never intended it to be even remotely popular. The only other fandoms I’ve written for are microscopic in comparison. I had no frame of reference for a pairing this big — all my previous experience was from Fanfiction.net, for Christ’s sake. I assumed I wouldn’t finish it, and even getting to chapter 6 was a surprise. But that hyperfocus somehow held on for dear life and I was banging out chapters like nobody’s business. And people were responding to it. And I think that kind of went to my head a little? Not like in an “I deserve all this attention” kind of way, but more like a “People like?? This thing I’m doing??? I cannot squander this opportunity, I must give them m o r e” kind of way. It was the best I’d felt since the breakup and I didn’t really think I deserved it, so I kind of wanted to... prove I did, I guess, by writing everything I’d ever wanted in a lovesquare fic in hopes that people would keep liking it and me and I’d keep feeling nice. (I mean, I’d planned to add in a ridiculous amount of tropes anyway, I just ended up adding a lot more than I’d planned.)

On the one hand, people go nuts for that shit. On the other, it’s getting harder and harder to justify cramming all this shit into the same fic. This compulsion keeps fucking me over by giving me spur-of-the-moment ideas for sub-plots I never wanted and certainly didn’t properly think through before posting the foreshadowing or setup for — yet at the same time they’re usually thought of and integrated several chapters in advance so I can’t just... leave them out? And part of me kind of doesn’t want to?? And I’m trying with every fiber in my being not to rewrite just the first 3 chapters, let alone the entire fic. A side-effect of my FF.net history at 13 was Never Edit Anything. Yeah, I’ll do some spell-check. Maybe some rewording here and there. Sometimes I’ll post a chapter and come back sporadically over the next few days to change out some punctuation or whatever. But if I don’t like a section after writing for a while? Throw the Whole Ass Chapter out. After it’s posted? This Is Your Life Now.

let’s not talk about how everything after chapter 27 was supposed to go very differently

Never mind that, after writing a hundred thousand goddamn words in a year, one’s writing skill tends to evolve and increase over time. Not just in regards to vocabulary, but with consistency and pacing and structure. This means, of course, that I can’t ever reread my own writing without the Evil Writing Goblin in my brain telling me to start the whole thing over from scratch. It’s fine.

I suppose I could get a beta, but I’m very bad at taking critique and as I’m even worse at talking to people than I am at posting on time I don’t think that would work out very well.

The point of this goddamn novel is that TPoY means a lot to me, probably a lot more than people realize. It’s kinda dumb and very cheesy and absurdly long, but it was the first real thing I did for myself after my whole life fell apart. I will finish it!!

But it’s hard to write it right now. I’m trying— I’m writing four chapters at the same time right now (a bit less than 10,000 words combined at current count). I don’t want to try to rewrite the whole fic or keep “mischaracterizing” the characters or lose the suspense I’ve tried to build (or, God forbid, try to keep interest so hard it hurts the rest of the fic) and risk alienating readers. I can’t stress enough how much these supportive comments mean to me, even on something as silly as a fanfic. But I also don’t want to force myself to write it or write something just because other people might or might not like it and risk alienating me. So I’m stuck at a kind of anxiety-induced impasse with myself that’s just made worse by the fact that I’m having trouble writing anything at all at the moment.

Jesus Christ this was longer than I meant it to be. Please don’t take this as a pity-party or anything. I don’t want sympathy or, I don’t know, reassurance or anything, I just wanted everything to be Out There because it really is the most in-depth response I could give and y’all deserve an honest answer. Some of you guys have been reading since the beginning and I can’t express how much that means to me. I feel really bad when I haven’t updated in a long time, because I know my fic makes some people really happy!

And PLEASE don’t take this as a “STOP ASKING ME ABOUT TPOY GODDAMMIT” because this is the opposite of that. I FUCKING LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME ABOUT TPOY. I L I V E FOR IT. But it sucks when the only answer I have is “I don’t know when it’ll be up, sorry :( ”

I mean, that’ll probably still be the answer I give, unless I by some miraculous (heh) stroke of luck) start hyperfocusing on writing again.

But at least y’all kinda know why now.

#did someone call for Too Much Information??#BUT THANK YOU FOR YOUR MESSAGE I LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOU #I HOPE THAT ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION #[SEVERAL HEART EMOJIS]#tpoy fic #anon good nurse #Lady answers stuff

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