#I lick them all over like they drenched in chocolate and alcohol

[gwynrielsupremacist]

TWISTER PART 2

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yeah, it's all smut, so if you don't like it, please don't read it and refrain from posting hurtful comments, thanks <3

Gwyn swallowed hard, noticing how the little alcohol she had drunk rose throughout her body, clouding her mind.

Was her crush… asking for a second round?

Obviously she knew the double meaning of that, but she couldn't even get the idea that Azriel wanted to have sex with her enter her head.

I mean, yeah, she knew she was kind of attractive, but he?

He was a fucking Greek god.

Emerie ended up going to Morrigan's house, according to her, because they had arranged to finish a project at Morrigan's Design College, although Gwyn guessed they weren't just going to do the design work. She had watched Emerie choosing a set of red lace underwear, one of Mor's favorite colors.

Insecurity entered her body when she remembered how boring the set of underwear she was wearing was.

Perhaps Azriel expected… something more seductive?

"Gwyn, he hasn't even seen you yet, don't freak out." She told herself, but it was of little use.

Right now she was cursing anyone who was listening to her mind for choosing such uninteresting underwear.

Cassian and Nesta went to his room, taking a bottle of tequila and another of vodka, smirking as they left the two alone in the living room.

They were alone.

Azriel and Gwyn were alone.

The crush that she had heavily flirted with less than 30 minutes ago.

She was going to pass out, she wasn't going to take much longer with that mood.

She had to do something, even if she later regretted it.

She couldn't die without having tasted the perfect lips of her instructor.

She looked at Azriel, her eyes slowly dropping from his face to his abs, being somewhat visible thanks to the white T-shirt he was wearing.

She felt waves of heat go down to her core when she saw the long bulge that squeezed the gray sweatpants.

Fuck, was that… thing going to fit inside her?

"Do you like what you see, Berdara?" He asked seductively, running a hand over his shirt, pressing it closer to his hot body.

She felt her mouth salivate the moment she saw the fucking show he had under that shirt.

Shows like this shouldn't not be hidden.

Obviously not.

Grinning lasciviously, she got up from the couch, her hips swaying as she walked over to where Azriel stood, gazing shamelessly over her body.

She knew that blouse easily showed much of her breasts, and she felt fucking good when his gaze fell on them, his eyes darkening with sexual desire to find everything she possessed underneath her clothes.

She stood in front of the boy who stood with his legs half open, looking at Gwyn with delight and sensuality.

He patted his shapely thighs while he looked at her, running his tongue across his lips, asking Gwyn to sit on them.

However, she had better plans.

She swung one leg up onto the couch, swinging so she wouldn't fall off there - it would be fucking embarrassing to fall in such a situation - and after feeling like she wasn't going to fall if she made that move, she flopped down on top of his crotch, both of them groaning as her core came into contact with his hardened member, furious for attention.

She suddenly lost track of time, there was nothing more important than the wonderful sensation of fullness in her pussy.

God, she hadn't even gotten into her, he was going to break her.

She linked her arms around his neck, caressing the fuzz located in the area.

Azriel grunted, laying his head on the back of the couch.

Gwyn purred in satisfaction when she saw that he left the surface of his throat and neck at her disposal.

She approached him, shyly kissing the area.

Her eyes rolled back as the perfume that had apparently been applied entered her nostrils.

Fuck, there was no way anyone could smell that fucking good.

She continued kissing, now with more effort when she saw that Azriel allowed himself to be done, sighing at the attention of her lips.

Smiling, she bit the base of his neck, licking it repeatedly, then nibbling it again.

Azriel's cock pulsed dangerously close to her clit, sending waves of pleasure all over her body.

She felt how the heat was settling in her stomach under her.

Fuck, was her orgasm building now?

The throbbing of her clit was fucking painful, she needed more friction.

She needed that man to give her the attention she deserved.

She began to sway slowly on his dick, slow and sensual movements, while she continued to pay attention to his neck, noticing how shivers ran down his body.

A lascivious smile decorated her lips painted with carmine, seeing how that man shuddered at her touch.

She began the movement of her hips again, combining it with small bounces on his lap, noticing that his erection pulsed and moved violently in his pants.

Azriel grabbed Gwyn's chin, forcing her to separate her lips from the surface of his neck.

"Do you like to see me like this?" He whispered, biting his lip as he gazed at the spot where their bodies nearly met. "You like to know that this fucking erection is for you, right?"

She couldn't think, she couldn't try to speak when that man talked dirty.

Fuck, she loved when men talked dirty.

It was so… exciting.

She nodded quickly, trying to restart the friction in both bodies, however Azriel's palm rested on her hip.

"Speak up, Berdara. You can use that wonderful little mouth you have to talk." He advised her, slapping her buttock hard.

She moaned loudly, dropping her head on his shoulder.

God, did he just... spank her?

He massaged the area, over the fabric that covered the skin, running his fingers over the sore area, then hitting it again.

"Yes! I love knowing that I am the one who provoke you that erection!" She screamed, burying her face into his neck as she waited for another spanking.

However, he stopped.

Gwyn pulled her face away from his neck, frowning as she expected more pounding.

Azriel held up a dark eyebrow, giving her a crooked smile as he rubbed her buttocks, patting them.

"Do you like to be spanked?" He whispered into her ear, gently hitting her on the backside.

"Y-Yes." She moaned as she felt Azriel's large hands on her body, touching her however he wanted.

He smiled seductively, but didn't comment on her fetish.

What he did was get up from the couch with a grunt, lifting Gwyn, who was quickly linking her heels on the small of his back, positioning herself well on his body.

She didn't want to fall, as well as she didn't want to part with that man.

Searching for his mouth, they stared until Gwyn decided it was enough.

She needed to get those lips, if only once in her life.

Therefore, she brought their lips together in an explosive way, their teeth and tongues colliding with each other, battling who entered deeper, who managed to dominate more part of the other's mouth.

Everything was so hot, she noticed how her nipples were eyeing the situation over her blouse.

They were a mass of mouths, teeth, bites, licks.

Gwyn didn't realize when they had started up the stairs, but the fact was that they had started up them.

She assumed they would go to Azriel's room, since Nesta and Cassian would be in their own room.

Anticipation boiled inside her body, moisture beginning to stain the thong she had put on.

Fuck, she needed that man so bad ...

She listened, as she felt Azriel biting hard on her lower lip, as a door opened, entering a room.

Separating to breathe some air, she analyzed where she was.

There was a fucking huge bed, where perfectly Gwyn could sleep with Emerie and Nesta and they wouldn't get to touch all night.

There were two bedside tables, with a table lamp and a white clock.

She couldn't watch much more, as Azriel pulled her gently into the center of the bed, bouncing slightly as she landed on it.

Azriel leaned back on top, careful not to put too much weight on Gwyn, as he kissed her wet, red lips effervescently, feeling the heat settle back on her belly, drowning out her moans as she groped Az's shirt, tucking her hands inside it.

Azriel pulled away, gritting his teeth and closing his eyes as Gwyn continued to stroke whatever skin she could, delighted at the wonderful feel of his abs.

Gwyn began to smile, doing a maneuver that Azriel himself had taught her, grabbing his arm that was near her head and turning it.

Suddenly, Gwyn was the one on top, Azriel smiling at how perfectly his student had made the key.

Gwyn's features lit up with happiness as she saw how her instructor was proud of her.

Azriel put a hand on Gwyn's neck, lowering her head to begin kissing again, more slowly this time, savoring the alcohol and chocolate taste of the dessert they had had less than 20 minutes ago.

The kiss was slow, enjoying the sensation of both mouths in sync as their tongues began a lascivious dance from their mouths.

Azriel ran her hands up Gwyn's torso, massaging her toned belly, then lowered it to her thighs, squeezing masterfully.

His hand was inserted into her inner thighs, so close to where she really wanted him but so far at the same time.

She knew her thong was completely drenched from her fluids.

She supposed she should be embarrassed to react that way to him, but please, it was Azriel they were talking about, nothing was enough with him.

Parting both lips, Gwyn grabbed the hem of Azriel's shirt, pulling it over his arms to remove it.

She gasped as she watched the spectacle the man had under his shirt.

A row of perfectly built abs, well-structured pecs, and a V that disappeared into the elastic of the pants.

It made Gwyn's mouth water to think how well Azriel would be gifted in some other intimate parts.

To try to find out, as they devoutly kissed again, Gwyn gently laid her whitish hand over his dark pecs, squeezing softly..

She continued to descend, tracing random figures on his skin.

She smiled into the kiss as shivers ran down the guy's spine, deepening the kiss as he tightened his grip on her thighs.

She lowered her hand a little lower, until she felt the prominent bulge at his crotch, twitching under her hand, demanding immediate attention.

She had done orals on multiple occasions, although she much preferred that the oral be done to her.

However, she needed that cock to be in her mouth.

She needed it badly.

"Gwyn…" He growled through his teeth, guessing what she was thinking right now. "You don't have to do it if you don't want to."

She began to slide back, smiling challengingly until the bulge was very close to her lips, his pants soiled with precum.

"The problem is..." she began, while grabbing the hem of his pants. "I just need to have your dick in my mouth." She pulled down the fabric, his cock coming out of it.

Her throat went dry when she saw Azriel's member.

Fuck, seeing him hidden in his pants was one thing, but seeing him in reality was another thing completely.

It was dark, with veins on the shaft while his head was drenched with precum.

She locked her hand around the base, beginning to move up and down her hand, noticing how Azriel began to tremble dangerously.

"Fuck…" He growled, staring at Gwyn and then at his cock in her hand.

It was so big, even with her mouth and hands around it, she didn't cover the entire area.

She noticed how her clit trembled deliciously, causing her to massage his cock more quickly.

She wanted that wonderful dick inside her. She wasn't going to wait a single moment.

"It's not fair…" Azriel began, pointing to Gwyn's still-on clothes. "You can see me and please me, but I can't do the same."

She looked up at her body and realized it was true.

Her blouse was a little baggy at the bottom, but her pants were still in place.

Masterfully, she unzipped the zipper and unfastened the button that kept them closed, pulling them down until she gave them a shake, throwing them somewhere in the room.

Then she passed the blouse over her head, tossing it in the same direction as her pants.

She was only in her underwear.

She watched as his eyes roamed over her body, locating in the soaked thong, doing little to hide what she was feeling down there.

Having quickly undressed, she resumed her attention, as she massaged it with the palm, she began to lick the tip delicately, savoring the bitter taste of the precum.

Azriel grunted, one hand grasping Gwyn's scalf.

She relaxed her throat, assuming he wanted to fuck her throat, but he didn't do anything else, just let his fingers slip through her coppery hair.

But then she felt Azriel's other hand travel up her ass, grabbing the strap of her panties, pulling it away to give him easy access to her hot, soaked, throbbing slit.

"Please…" Gwyn moaned, wiggling her hips, trying to shove those long fingers she had always fantasized inside her.

"Please that?" He murmured, laying the strip on one buttock as his ring finger circled her slit. He tsked, muttering: "So wet…  are you always so wet for me, Berdara?"

She noticed how more moisture came out of her inside at those words.

But she didn't answer, and Azriel, apparently, wanted her to use that little mouth she had.

She lowered her mouth onto his cock, licking the shaft slowly, running her tongue over the throbbing veins, while Azriel played with her pussy lips, groping but never entering her.

"I asked you a question, Berdara. Answer." He ordered her, slapping her pussy with force.

She screamed out his name with pleasure, sure that her vibrations and voice had done wonders on his cock.

She wanted to see how much more she could tempt him.

The more she could provoke him.

Ignoring his command, she put his cock in her mouth again, sucking the tip while rising from it and lowering her hand with force, listening to the grunts of pleasure that he let out.

Smiling, she clicked her tongue at the tip, noting the wonderful taste of precum flooding her papillae.

She was close to coming.

But of course, Azriel didn't want to come in Gwyn's mouth.

The hand that was still taunting Gwyn's entrance finally inserted two fingers into her slit.

Gwyn moaned with his cock on her throat, noticing how it shuddered inside her mouth.

He was poking his fingers in and out of her quickly, at breakneck speed.

She closed her eyes tightly, letting herself be carried away by the pleasure.

With the hand that had previously been tending to Azriel's shaft, she lowered it to her clit, pinching and moving it from left to right, combining speeds to make her orgasm come faster. .

She needed it faster, it was not going to last much longer, the well of pleasure was increasing so fast and she would soon overflow.

But that seemed exactly what Azriel wanted to do, inserting one more finger inside her.

Not being able to breathe well, she pulled his cock out of her mouth, moaning loudly as she began to move her hips, looking where his fingers were thrusting in her, glistening with her arousal.

She felt so good. Those fingers were fucking thicker and longer than her own.

She needed it to go deeper.

She needed his cock inside her. Now.

She saw how his dick was twitching violently.

He didn't have much more left to orgasm.

So she slapped the hand that was playing with her pussy away, freeing up the space, and grabbed the shaft of his cock with one hand, lining up to finally unite both bodies.

However, Azriel grabbed Gwyn's arm quickly: "Condom."

She denied, explaining: "I'm taking the contraceptive pill. And I'm clean. If you are too, we don't have to do it with a condom."

Azriel nodded, confirming that he was clean, and moving his hips up, he lightly tucked the tip into her pussy.

They both groaned at the delicious sensation.

Azriel watched her closely, as he let Gwyn sit, taking his cock deeper, parting her inner walls with a point of pain.

She stopped, opening her mouth for air. It was so fucking big.

"Fuck. You're so tight." He whined, slowly comforting her waist, hoping that she would get used to his size.

However, she needed him now. Even if he broke her in two.

She needed to have him inside her.

So, taking a breath, she dropped completely on top of his cock, crying out loudly when he hit that spot that made her see stars.

Azriel growled, squeezing the flesh of her thighs as he dropped his head to the head of the bed, closing his eyes at the wonderful experience.

"Oh my God, you take me so damn well." He moaned as he watched the point where they connected, his cock disappearing into the folds of her pussy.

She waited about 10 seconds to get used to the fucking size.

It wasn't the first time she'd had sex, but none of her former lovers were as gifted as Azriel was.

She placed her hands on Az's pecs, lifting her hips slightly and then lowering them, getting used to the small thrusts.

Fuck, that felt so damn good.

"Gwyn, damn it, don't stop baby." He asked, lifting his pelvis, accompanying her thrusts, helping her to enter more inward.

The speed of the thrusts was increasing. The pain was still there, but it was almost imperceptible.  Now there was only the pleasure that Azriel provided her.

"You feel so fucking good…" He groaned, slapping one of her thighs hard.

She lifted a hand to her breasts, squeezing and pinching her nipples.

She needed more friction. She was so close to orgasm... She was so close...

"Az…" She moaned. Her legs were sore. She loved and hated riding her mistresses alike.

Understanding what was happening, he rested his hand on her belly, letting it fall until she was hunched over, her hands resting on his legs.

"Hold on." He warned him, grinning lewdly.

Then, he began to thrust like a soul carrying the devil.

Gwyn cried, screamed the name of her lover, moaning.

She knew it was impossible that Nesta and Cassian weren't listening, but she cared little.

The only thing that mattered was how fucking good it felt, Azriel's cock coming out of her and into her pussy with breakneck speed, spreading her fucking wide.

"Azriel!" She screamed when he reached that sweet spot, rolling her eyes up as waves of pleasure came down to her clit.

She lowered her gaze from her body, sweaty from work, to her clit and pussy.

Her clit was damn red, begging for immediate attention, as her slit slipped in and out of his cock, glistening with her fluids.

Leaning his hips down, he hit that spot again.

She was going to fall, she couldn't stand the pleasure that guy was giving her.

It was too much. It was all too much and too little.

It was perfect.

"Are you going to come?" Az asked her, eyes clouded with pleasure as he punched over and over and over the point of her, causing her to rave with pleasure. "Are you going to be a good girl and are you going to cum on my cock?"

She nodded, in those moments she was not able to form any kind of coherent sentence, only little whimpers came out that didn't make any kind of sense.

However, Azriel was satisfied with it, hitting deeper and harder, while a hand lowered towards her clit, granting it the attention that it had been demanding all along.

"Good girl ... Now I want you to cum all over my cock and cry out my name, so the neighbors know exactly who you belong to." He demanded, slowly tapping her clit with his fingertip, teasing her.

He began to wrap his thumb around it, pinching and catching it with two fingers, pulling at it and then letting go.

It only took three thrusts for Gwyn to fall into the abyss of pleasure.

Screaming his name out of her, she touched her breasts forcefully, while wave after wave of pleasure were coursing through her body, Azriel helping her to carry out her orgasm.

She noticed how Azriel let out a growl of pleasure between his teeth, jets of cum spilling into her pussy.

Exhausted, she dropped onto Azriel's chest, both of them gasping for air after the overwhelming orgasm.

She whimpered as Azriel pulled his limp dick from inside her, the feeling of emptiness overwhelming, but Gwyn had no desire for anything other than to sleep on the chest of that man who had made her feel stars.

His hands began to tangle in the sheets, finally covering the two lovers with them, still trying to catch their breath.

"It was…" He started, having to grab some more air.

Gwyn nodded, hiding in the crook of his neck.

She didn't want to leave. She knew she should, but she didn't want to.

Everything had been wonderful to pass up.

Besides, it was her coach, what was she going to do?

"Gwyn?" Her name pulled her out of her thoughts, looking at Az, who was looking at her worried, "Are you okay? Does something hurt? Have I been too harsh?"

A goofy smile appeared on her lips when she heard those questions.

He had been such great at fucking her, and now he cared about her health.

Her heart was beating happily. She was happy.

Shaking her head, she gently kissed his chin.

Azriel sighed, wrapping his arms around her waist, staying that way for a few minutes.

However, that question kept passing through Gwyn's eyes.  She must ask him.

"What will happen to our… friendship?"

Gwyn was afraid that this had screwed up their friendship. Perhaps she was attracted to him, but she did not want to lose her friendship.

Besides, maybe that tumble had been just that, a tumble.

"We can remain friends, obviously."  He whispered, tangling his hand in the strands clinging to her neck, stroking lightly.  "But we can also… take our friendship further, if that's okay with you…"

Gwyn nodded, smiling against his skin: "Does that mean I'm your… girlfriend?"

Azriel smiled alike, looking at her as his entire face lit up with happiness: "I'd be the happiest man if you were."

They both smiled foolishly, staring into each other's eyes. They brought their mouths closer, giving each other a small beak, which led to their mouths joining in a much more passionate kiss.

"Apparently I'll have to thank Nesta for thinking about playing Twister." Gwyn thought, but she put it on the back burner.

Now only Az's lips mattered, both hearts beating at the same rhythm, forming a symphony that ran through the entire room, blocking out any sound other than that of the two lovers.

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#gwynriel #gwynriel fanfiction #smutty #azriel #gwyn #acosf

[eivorsjawline]

18+ Modern F!Eivor x F!Reader

Content warning: mention of food, alcohol, smut, foul language, strap on, degradation, oral, fingering, cunnilingus, choking, and restraining...

Summary: I needed some more strap Eivor, so here It goes. A well-established reader and Eivor bond over a glass of champagne until Eivor starts putting moves on the reader, leading to a hot and heavy night together. 

Eivor cleaned up nicely, a white collared dress shirt and sleek black pants. A dark skinny tie hanging from her neck and a pair of Christian Louboutin flats to top it all off. The gold Rolex she always wore on her wrist shined in the light when she pressed the penthouse button on the elevator. The fabric divinely brushed her body, gripping onto her biceps, and her pants though loose hugged her toned ass and thighs. The elevator opened and Eivor clasped onto your hand, letting you step out first. The tall Norwegian blonde hovered over you, a silly smirk on her face. Though the situation was an innocent one, all you could think of was Eivor bending you over a table.

You just returned from going out to dinner, a date night. The both of you had missed one another dearly, for Eivor had been gone so long due to work. Though the time you missed with one another created hard times, it was always worth it in the end. The both of you were established adults who found sanctuary in each other. You had been dating for a while now and things were starting to get serious. The love between you two only grew with time, a big part of Eivor knew that you were the one she wanted to spend her life with. You could still remember how intimidated you were by the older woman at first, Eivor was in her mid-thirties at this point. She had shown you so much and taught you a lot about the world.

Upon entering, you saw the usual view of the large buildings and lights through the large window. However, when you looked to your right you were shocked to see an array of gifts and pictures set out on a table for you. A bouquet of red roses, a bottle of the finest champagne and chocolate delicacies laid out as well. You opened the card Eivor put with the roses and read the sweet words congratulating your anniversary. A huge smile formed on your face, teeth and all. Eivor wrapped her arms around your waist from behind, the sight of seeing you happy caused her to grin. Being in the middle of a pandemic was tough. Eivor was upset that more couldn’t be done with the love of her life. Albeit, you were happy and pleased with even the smallest of gestures from her. 

“Happy anniversary, my love. Wouldn’t wanna spend this last year with anyone else.”

You thanked her before turning around and giving her a passionate kiss. The scent of her musky cologne radiated from her chest until she pulled away to pour two glasses of champagne. You both took off your shoes and laid down on the bed, your glasses clinking cheers. The warm embrace of Eivor greeted the back of your body as she embraced you in her arms, fingers trickling the skin of your left shoulder before she started to pull the strap of your black dress down. Her lips met your neck, causing your eyes to close as you succumbed to her touch. Her eyes kept wandering to the large mirror across from the bed, you knew exactly what was on her mind.

“I was gone so long on that business trip, yearning for you so badly. All alone, only my wet dreams occupied me.”

She started to massage your breast over the fabric, the touch causing your peaks to harden. Her hands slipped down to your cleavage, her fingers playing in circles around your bare nipple. You pushed your hair to the side for her to place kisses down the back of your neck, your bodies readjusting to take one another’s clothes off. She pulled the slip dress over your body with ease, leaving you in your lace lingeries you wore specifically for tonight. Eivor lifted her head for you to undo her tie, along with her shirt shortly after. It had been so long since you both last saw each other, everything became a blur. The thin line between love and lust started to fade, pure sin erupted between you two.

Eivor’s body looked beautiful in the candlelit room, her soft but deep moans began to grow heavier once you placed kisses from her chest to her lower stomach. She stood up from the bed as you pulled down her pants and underneath, your soft touches on her thighs making her body squirm with eagerness. You teased her slowly, not yet giving her what she wanted. Her hands wandered downwards, gently grabbing a fist full of your hair while she tried to move her lower half towards your mouth. You ran your mouth over the skin on her thighs, just over her lips. Eivor’s frustration grew visibly stronger, until she pulled you up towards her, pulling your head back and making you look her directly in the eye.

“Always a fucking tease, don’t think for a moment I will go easy on you when It’s your turn.”

Her grip on you tightened until finally, your lips traced the outline of the front of her body and straight down to her dripping wet cunt. You looked her deeply in the eyes as your tongue started to lick her folds, hands grabbing onto the back of her thighs for support. She let out a moan once your tongue met her throbbing clit, caressing and flicking the spot just how she liked. Starting slow then fast, Eivor’s moans grew louder and heavier as her eyes closed with pleasure. You remained there licking and sucking up the juices that exuded from her, enjoying and savoring every moment of it. Your fingers ran over the entrance of her, teasing back and forth. She started to grind on your mouth, the patience left in her body thinning.

Tender kisses were placed on her chest, your tongue began to tease her nipples. Her breasts were dainty, sturdy but soft. Your head directed upwards to kiss her on the mouth as she ran her tongue over the bottom of your lip as if greeting yours. Tongues began to clash, playing with one another and her arms exploring your body lower. Her rough hands held onto your hips, soon enough tracing upwards on your back till a hand reached the back of your neck. The smell of her breath was mixed with a perfect blend of the champagne and the mints she would always pop in. The wet slip and slide of both of your tongues caused the warm feeling deep inside of you to grow.

“Fuck, Y/n I need to feel you inside of me. Don’t make me beg.”

You knew how long she had waited for this moment, and you could feel how completely drenched she had become. You liked how badly she desired you, you lived for the sheer fact. Just as she was about to get even bossier with you, her eyes opened wide with frustration, you sank two fingers into her canal. Her eyes closed quickly and she threw her head back, spreading her legs wide for you to work into her. Slowly waving your fingers in her, from the top to the knuckles while your tongue started to flick her clit faster. Watching you bury your face in her and fuck her made Eivor lose all control. The muscles of her walls gripped onto your fingers as she started to climax. There was no holding back the hot cum that now coated your fingers, you slowed down and placed kisses on the sides of her pelvis. 

“Let me taste myself on your tongue, my little toy.”

The tone in her voice was breathy and hot, she meant business tonight. Your upper bodies met one another yet again and her fingers opened up your mouth causing your jaw to unhinge for her. Her piercing deep blue eyes looked into yours directly, her other hand gripped your neck and she spit into your mouth before locking tongues with you. With the flavor of your tongues and her cum blending lasciviously, you were completely soaked at this point. The more she kissed you, the less you could control your moans. Her hand slipped under your underwear and cupped the filthy wet spot underneath, she licked her lips as if pleased with how soaked she made you. The hefty woman lifted herself on top of you and the weight of her strong body dropped on top of you. Her tongue caressed your earlobes and eventually sucked onto the upper cartilage, making you shiver underneath her.

She undid the clasp in the front of your bra with ease and expertise. Her hands ran up the curves of your torso, making you arch your back. She ran her tongue up the middle of your ribcage until her mouth met one of your hard nipples. You watched as she played with your breasts and her eyes that admired them, the look filled with lust. Her tongue danced in circles and her teeth grazed your peak, whatever morals you had left completely washed away. Though your eyes closed, Eivor’s were wide open and watching your facial expressions in the mirror across from you. absolutely mesmerized by the way she could please you even though she had barely started.

“You want me to fuck your little pussy, don't you?”

You moaned and let out a simple, “Yes, please.” and made sure to say her name along with it, for it was her favorite one to hear come from your lips. The intensity in her eyes grew and her words sent chills down your spine. There was nothing more that you could ever want at the moment as she ventured downwards, her head now rightfully in between your thighs. Eivor grabbed the bends in the back of your knees and pushed your legs back before running her tongue up and down your folds. You couldn’t help but to throw your head back and moan from the relief of her touching the area you so desire with her warm tongue. The sight of you losing control of yourself from her talents only turned Eivor on more. Her attention shifted to your clit, sloppily dragging the muscle in her mouth across your sweet spot while she watched you squirm.

The pace started to pick up slowly, which caused you to yearn for more. Oh, how you missed those magic fingers of hers. With the godly length and width of them, your mind began to fill up with imaginative thoughts of them inside you. Eivor was still making tides on your clit with her tongue and enjoying every moment of it. Her hands gripped the sides of your hips, devouring that spot in between your legs so well. Eivor was thorough and steady, the skilled tongue of a woman beyond your years. Your desperateness started to cloud over your patience, you had to ask her the question ringing in your mind.

“Eivor… Please I-”

You said with a soft moan, hardly able to finish the rest of the sentence due to Eivor speeding up and licking you with vigor. Before you could even ask the question on your mind, she already knew what you wanted. With her head tilted up, she grinned and slid a finger inside of you, just to tease more of what she could offer. She started with slow curls pressing up and switching to slow pumps in and out. The sight of her entering you getting her off and all control is lost. Her tongue joined in with the song her fingers played, flicking at the perfect pace and spot. Your eyes started to roll back as you were unable to contain yourself from the beautiful blonde fucking you sweetly.

“Ugh, give me more Eivor. Please!”

Before she could give you what you wanted, she had to tease you a little more. Her body leaned upwards over you, the chain she had on her neck dangling just in front of your face. When she reached a hand over your face to caress your cheek, she added in another finger. The satisfaction of the extra finger only filled you more when she sank herself in you til the knuckles. The caress on your cheek turned into her thumb and index on her free hand clasping onto your neck, choking you softly. Her fingers rammed into you with force, the muscles she built up being put to good use. The sounds of her slamming into you filled your body with ecstasy but something within you knew Eivor was yet to be finished. Eivor pulled away from you and stood up, an abrupt pause.

“Bend over for me, now. Don’t make me wait too long.”

You did exactly as she commanded, on all fours on the bed. Some shuffling could be heard around the room while you waited for her in the same vulnerable position. It wasn’t long until Eivor came back and grabbed you by your wrists, stretching them back to tie them together. The view of you on all fours and Eivor close behind you could be seen in the mirror across, the one she had been eyeing all night. Eivor tugged at your hair, pulling you up and making you face yourself before whispering in your ear.

“You’re gonna get fucked like the dirty whore you are, don’t let me catch you closing your eyes.”

The ropes around your wrist tightened but she let go of your hair. There was something so sexy in the way Eivor turned so authoritarian, your body grew desperate for her to completely have her way with you. She always loved giving you pleasure and took satisfaction in watching the way you shifted and turned in the bed. The dazed state of ecstasy you were in was interrupted when you felt the tip of her strap pry at your hole. You braced yourself as she slid into you, truly making sure not to cause you any discomfort. You gasped with each inch she sank into you, her girth leaving you filled. Eivor reached over to grab you by the hair and pull your head up, your wrists were still bound and you were hardly able to move. Your walls convulsed as Eivor was completely inside of you now, to the end of the strap. The friction of her pulling on your scalp only excited you more.

“Watch, as I fuck you.”

She demanded you, her hips beginning to make waves starting slow as she watched you in the mirror. Eivor rocked like a steady boat, moving slowly and rigorously. Sweat glimmered off of her completely exposed body, her hips slamming into you like waves in the ocean. Nothing but pure concentration showed on her face, the dedication to make you release from her. The sensations felt too good, keeping your eyes open seemed impossible. Your moans started to grow heavier as the pace picked up gradually, your eyebrows pursed together and eyes started to water already from trying to keep them open. You moaned and cursed Eivor's name, as she took pride in fucking you. Eivor watched diligently as she pleased you, examining your body like a hawk and watching closely as she slid into you over and over again. The pace started to pick up, one of her knees towering over you and bent to the side as she fucked me from behind. 

Pure shock hit your body when she lifted her foot to place on top of your head, pinning you completely down. Eivor knew the power she held against you and how much you enjoyed it when she took control. She ground and bucked her hips against you, making you cry out in pleasure. Her body slapping against you and rolling with pure talent. Her words of encouragement were said softly while her breaths grew heavy from the vigor she rammed into you. The warm feeling between your thighs consumed you causing you to close your eyes and succumb to all the pleasures. You gasped when Eivor removed her heel from your head and pulled you up towards her, her arms held back your bound wrists and lifted you, your torso now higher. She peered over you, a look of disappointment on her face.

“What did I say? You like being underneath me, like the dirty little bitch you are. It’s pitiful.”

She slammed into you harder than ever, sliding in and out with ease now that you had completely coated the strap. Her hand reached over to slide her fingers into your mouth while she fucked you, rubbing on your tongue. Her hands reached back down to your shoulders, pushing into her more. The roughness of her hands around the sides of your neck just about drove you insane, she fucked you so good and she knew it. You moaned out to tell Eivor that you were about to cum, her pace grew steady and ready for you. You released on her, only a creamy white residue was left.

Eivor backed up and pulled out of you, both of you now exhausted. Your legs could hardly stop shaking and you could barely stand. Your naked bodies laid down in bed, sweaty and tired but satisfied. Eivor could switch in seconds, an angel to a demon with the way she loved. Eivor placed kisses all over your body, admiring you. She was consumed by you, making you aware of the power you held over her. Unable to move in bed, you swore you were on the verge of passing out. Eivor laid close by, her muscular back turned to you. You pushed yourself closer, up against her naked body. She always liked being the little spoon, regardless of how dominant of a person she tended to be. You pulled back the long locks of her hair, kissing her on the cheek. Eventually, you closed your eyes to drift off until you heard Eivor mumble a few words in the dead silence.

“I love you, Y/n.”

You replied, of course, you loved her too. The moment was sweet, a sudden change from moments before. Your leg clasped over her body, her hands rubbing the side of your thigh. If only moments like these could last forever by the side of your lover. The smell of sweat and sex filled the air, the perfect person warmed your bed. Only a blank dark space from your closed eyes, everything faded into darkness and all your worries washed away. Though tired at the moment, you were ready to do it all over again tomorrow. Little snores could be heard next to you, she was already out.

#fem eivor #female eivor #f!eivor #eivor x reader #eivor varinsdóttir #eivor wolfkissed #Valhalla #ac valhalla #assasins creed valhalla #fan fiction #enjoy

[carloswilliamcarlos]

Delicious (Charlie Barber x Reader)

Warnings: Smut, PIV sex, mild fingering, mirror fucking, gratuitous chocolate mousse eating. TW: Alcohol mention.

Words: 1,051

And now for something completely filthy. Sorry if there are typos- head empty, too h-word. 😇

The air is thick in the bar, heavy with the scent of wine and old smoke. Tinkling piano music and bodied laughter fill the room, dim candlelight casting the scene in a warm, sultry glow.

You’re sitting on Charlie’s lap in a slinky dress, arm draped around his shoulders. Your hand languidly taps his arm in time with the music. Someone tells a joke across the booth and you all laugh, the cocktails and feel of Charlie’s strong body beneath you making your vision soften and your limbs loosen.

He catches your eye for a moment and leans in to your ear. “You look delicious tonight, darling.” 

He nips at your earlobe and pulls away, trying not to draw too much attention. You give him a knowing little smile and shift your ass against him just the tiniest bit.

He looks down at the table, trying to keep his composure. There he spots the last few bites of the chocolate mousse you shared. He reaches for the spoon, scooping up a small bite and holding it up to your mouth.

You open to accept it, watching as his eyes lock on your lips. They wrap around the tip of the spoon, sucking gently. His eyes drift up to yours as you lick your lips with a little exaggerated “mmmm.”

“You want more?” he asks, voice a little too low, too dangerous. You nod.

He brings another spoonful to your lips, and you make a little show of licking a bit off the edge, tongue swiping slowly. Charlie swallows.

You drop one of your hands inconspicuously to his leg, and his hand tightens around your thigh. He slides it up underneath your dress, tossing a laugh to the group when one of the old timers finishes a funny story you’ve all heard a million times.

His hand trails up between your thighs, tracing delicately along the center of your panties. He smirks at how wet they are already.

He brings another spoonful to your mouth, finger dipping into your panties. Right as your lips wrap around the spoon, he slides his thick middle finger inside you. You breathe in sharply through your nose, eyes fluttering closed. When they open, Charlie’s looking right at you with a smug grin. You swallow.

“Good?” he asks.

You answer under your breath, “Delicious.”

Charlie buries his face in your hair. “Meet me in the bathroom.” He slides his finger out and pats your thigh, signaling you to go.

You stand and stutter to the group, “Just need to run to the restroom!” And you walk down the bar’s back hallway, begging your knees not to buckle below you.

You lean your ass against the sink as you wait, hand already wandering between your legs.

When the door bursts open, Charlie’s frantic. He devours you with his eyes, locking the door behind him.

“You. Bend over. Now.”

He grabs your waist and spins you around, forcing your hips against the sink. You see yourself in the mirror, hair falling around your face, his huge hands enveloping your sides, the eyes of the insatiable man you love raking over every inch of you.

His hands travel over the curve of your ass and he leans forward to speak darkly in your ear.

“You little fucking tease, taunting me with that little whore mouth of yours, hm?”

You catch your satisfied smile in the mirror as you whisper, “I’m sorry.”

“Is that so?” Charlie asks, hands lifting up the skirt of your dress to expose your ass. His hand slides between legs, stroking along your clothed pussy. He dips a finger just between your lips and you both sigh- you at the feeling of his touch and him at how drenched you are for him. “You don’t feel very sorry, kitten.”

He thrusts two fingers into you and you moan at the fullness. 

“I’m not sorry,” you pant, arms bracing against the side of the sink, jaw dropping open.

“That’s what I thought,” Charlie tsks. He bites at your neck as he fumbles with his belt and pulls himself out. “But you fucking will be,” he says, voice unfathomably deep. He slides into you with one smooth thrust and you moan shamelessly. “Shhhh baby,” he breathes, though he’s struggling not to moan out loud himself.

He pumps into you at a steady pace, your breaths growing faster and deeper.

“Look at yourself,” Charlie grunts, his hand grasping your hair and pulling back to give you a better look in the mirror. It’s a gorgeous sight, you have to admit. Your skin is glowing, your mouth hung open, your pupils blown with pleasure, your body rutting forward with each of his thrusts. “Look at you getting fucked in the bar bathroom like the pretty whore you are. You like it, don’t you?”

You breathe out a “yes,” lost in the feeling of him stretching you open over and over, deeper and deeper.

“Yeah you do angel. Like being my little slut.”

He pulls down your dress’s zipper just a bit and grasps the neckline, pulling it down to expose your bouncing tits. You’re overwhelmed with the view of yourself like this. You’re holding on to the sink for dear life, already close to cumming.

Charlie hears your whimpers get higher and higher, your body growing limper and limper, and he knows you’re close. He reaches around you and rubs slick circles on your clit.

“That’s right angel,” he pants in your ear. “Fucking cum on my cock, baby.”

You do, clenching and convulsing, filthy moans leaving your mouth. Charlie’s close after, fist tightening in your hair as he fills your pussy, grunting and gasping for air.

You both catch your breath, coming down from the high for a few dazed and satisfied moments. You hadn’t realized your eyes were closed until you opened them, seeing yourself absolutely wrecked. You can’t help but giggle tiredly at the sight. Charlie smiles too, huffing out a breath as he pulls out of you.

He helps you both get redressed, his cum just starting to drip out of you.

“We gotta get the fuck back home,” he says seriously.

“Why, honey? I wanted to finish that chocolate mousse,” you smirk, turning to plant a kiss on his lips.

“You got your dessert,” he answers, giving you a kiss back. His voice drops to a whisper. “I get mine next.”

#charlie x reader #charlie barber x reader #charlie smut #charlie barber smut #tw alcohol #smut #marriage story #charlie barber x reader smut

[caroline18mars]

A Man On Fire - Chapter 82

But Jared stayed right where he was, curling and twirling around Chloe on that improvised dancefloor full of tired, drunk friends, she looked at the scene in front of her on her way back to the table, it was actually adorable, somehow it was rare to see Jay this frivolous, rare but heartwarming. “Everything ok?” Cooper sat down again next to her, “sure” she tried not to mumble or look distressed, but she was, “I can see why you and LA don’t mix, this city is full of actors, so you’re definitely out of place here” grinning, he took a swig from his bottle of beer. “Trouble in paradise, I can tell, I’m a good listener you know” he leaned back in his chair, not taking his eyes off her, “I’m sure you are, but I’m not as good a talker..the only thing I can truly confide in is chocolate, I’ve got some dessert left, want one?” she got up again, feeling a little uncomfortable under his scrutiny. “Sure” he shrugged as she instantly headed for the kitchen, just getting my thoughts together, just a minute to myself, she opened the fridge reaching for the chocolate cake, “uhm, while you’re at it, give us another bottle of vodka will ya?” the voice behind her startled her so much she nearly let the plate with the cake slip out of her hands. “Oh..” she spun around to see the spitting image of that other girl who was dancing with Jared outside, “here you go” she took the bottle out of the fridge “you must be..Marie-Lou?” she forced a smile, “yup, and you’ve been hanging around my man all night” the girl snapped at her and then turned with a dramatic flip of her hair rushing out of the kitchen without giving Harper any more attention. Slowly and in a bit of a shock she closed the fridge door, had she been suggesting that she spent too much time tonight with her boyfriend? Please no more misunderstandings, ever since Sean, she was so done with them, wait how did Sean slip back into her mind? Where was he now? And how was he? Why do I even care? She shook her head and carried on filling up two plates with chocolate cake before she walked out into the crisp evening air again. “I..uhm..met Marie-Lou” she put the plate in front of Cooper but found him too wrapped up in an animated conversation with the guy next to him, so she sat down and pushed a spoonful of chocolate cake in her mouth while she looked sighing at the party in full swing in front of her, connection lost again, story of her frikkin life.

”You really love chocolate cake, don't you?” Cooper turned his attention back to Harper who put her fork back on her empty plate, “treading on thin ice here , buddy, I really don't need to hear you say out loud what is bubbling through your mind, yes I actually eat, I'm definitely no LA woman, there I said it out loud, can we move on now?”. Cooper leaned back in his seat with a grin, this is one feisty, little firecracker, I actually like her, she's such a breath of fresh air, “ok, moving on then, don't you get jealous seeing all these women throw themselves at Jared's feet?”. Harper looked at the dancefloor where her man was the centre of attention “Jared will always attract attention, I guess I've learned to live with it, the only ones jealous are those girls out there, they’re jealous because they’re not in a relationship with him and I am and that’s an entirely different ballgame” she sighed as she pushed another piece of cake in her mouth. “I’ve always wondered if Jared is into twins, I mean look at Marie-Lou and Chloe” Cooper didn’t seem the least bit affected by his lover’s and her sister’s grinding against Jared, “you must have one kinky sex life”, his wide grin and his assumption annoyed her. “First, my sex life is nobody’s business, second: why don’t you ask Marie-Lou that question? Sounds like you’re the one fantasizing about Marie-Lou and her sister” she calmly said watching his jaw drop, ha, the shoe was on the other foot now. “Marie-Lou? You obviously don’t know her, Marie-Lou is..well, let’s say she’s not the most passionate woman alive” he sniggered, finding himself extremely funny. “You’re right, I can’t say that I know her, but I’ve met her in the kitchen just now and she’s definitely passionate about you, she said I’ve been hanging around you all night and she didn’t seem to pleased with that” Harper took a few sips looking at Cooper’s reaction, was that a smirk?. “Oh really?” his lip curled into a smile while his eyes drifted over to his lover “never confuse passion with jealousy, I told you, passionate relationships are so early 20th century..I can honestly say I’ve never had one of those, do you?” the way he squinted his eyes and bit his lip made her shiver. Before she could even think of an answer, he did “Maybe we should ask Jared that question, he’s more of an early 20th century guy isn’t he? I mean he’s pushing on 50 so he’s had quite the experience with women”. Harper shifted in her seat, don’t show him you’re getting agitated, too late, “ah there he is, the man of the hour” Cooper looked up at Jared approaching their side of the table.

”I missed you” he pushed a kiss on her lips that tasted of alcohol and his skin smelled of expensive women's perfume, no wonder with how the girls had been rubbing themselves against him under the pretence of dancing. When they came up for air, her eyes connected with those burning ones of Cooper, “I thought you were going to come dance with me” he whispered when he straightened his back, “hey Cooper” he casually said turning his head slightly to greet Cooper, but deep down he felt a twang of jealousy burn, a good looking young guy who was clearly as fascinated by Harper as he was, a man with a brain too, and she was a sucker for those, “hey Jay, you lucky bastard” Cooper greeted him with a little grin. Jared pulled a chair up and strategically sat down in between them, you're not gonna dig your claws into her, back off! “must have been quite the conversation if you can keep my woman away from a dancefloor” in his voice this hint of venom that didn't go unnoticed by any of them. “Funny you ask because we were actually talking about passionate relationships and how they're so 20th century, an era we all know you're very familiar with” Cooper licked his lips before he took a sip from his glass. Don’t do it, just let him stew in all his obvious sarcasm, let it slide..too late “ah, the 20th century, yes I remember it well, see the good thing about being my age is knowing what you want and don’t want, especially in love, it took me until my late forties to find the woman of my dreams but I’m finally 100% sure I found her, unlike you millennials who have to fuck every friend you have, hoping someone will stick because you don’t know how to treat or satisfy someone because you’re all too wrapped up in yourself and the image you want to create, see, there’s no ‘I’ in the word ‘love’, is there? so yeah, I’m happy I’m a hopeless 20th century romantic..” he mockingly raised his eyebrow. Everyone in a one metre radius could feel the tension rise, so Harper quickly intervened “Well, this millennial sure has no complaints about her hopeless 20th century romantic” she quickly crawled on his lap and then whispered in his ear “and can I just say that this millennial can’t wait for this party to be over so I can get a good fucking tonight” before she kissed him. She could feel him relax instantly, a crisis avoided, nice work Harper, but the actual action she wasn’t too sure of yet with all these alcohol drenched kisses but it was a fact that she needed to be shot back to life, some lovin’ would surely get her head out of this mental fog and her creative juices flowing again. “Why wait? Why don’t you go upstairs now and I’ll come fuck your brains out in a few minutes” he whispered back at her with a little lick of her earlobe, “so far for my 20th century god of romance” she giggled, normally she would have just brushed it off because they had a whole lot of company, but not this time, she needed action and she needed it right now. “I’m just going to get some more wine” Harper got up, Jared’s eyes shooting daggers at Cooper who thoroughly checked out her glorious body, “sure yeah” Jared nervously shuffled in his seat and tried to hide his imminent arousal while she walked back to the house, rocking those hips just a little too obvious.

The cold water on her burning cheeks made her hiss, where was he? He said he was going to be up soon..she dried her face sitting down on the edge of the bath and quickly pushed away the blinders, nope, nowhere to be seen, she’d been waiting up here for him for 20 minutes..oh there he was, oh for fuck’s sakes..she watched him being dragged back on the danceflour by those horrible twins. Right, done anticipating,  pfffff, get up, just get up Harper, she pushed herself back up on her feet and walked out of the bathroom, closing the door behind her, she so didn’t want to go back to that party again..so instead of walking down the stairs, she took a right and wandered through the dark corridor. The moonlight falling on her blank canvases in her studio drew her in, the smell of her oils and solvent wafting up to her, why didn’t anyone make a perfume out of those? She would be the first to buy it. She sat down in the bay window watching her canvases..blank, blankblankblank, blank..would she ever feel inspired again? Not as long as the sweltering heat of LA kept melting her brain, she had told herself over and over again to stop obsessing over how her new home blocked her creative vibe but every time she picked up a brush and lathered it up, nothing but nonsense would appear on the canvas. Try again? Sure, why not? She grabbed a brush and some paint, here goes nothing..nothing at all.. a softly whispered “oh my..” startled her, Jared?? Nope..Cooper..slowly walking into the room, not able to keep his eyes off the mess on the canvas. “I actually get to see the master paint..I can certainly tick that off my bucket list” he softly said with eyes like saucers “that is amazing, Harper..”, Harper leaned back a bit, stared at her painting and then at him “huh? Maybe you should get your eyes checked because this is just..bs” she huffed putting her brush down. Cooper just ignored her and walked to the back of the room where some of her older work rested on the floor “I don’t know what to say..this is mindblowing..seeing it in a catalogue is one thing but seeing it here, touching it is next level..you know, all those art critics were wrong..” he let his finger run over one of the canvases making her cringe, don’t do that, never touch a painting with your probably dirty fingers. “Critics can call you the new rising star in the art world, but you’re a new fuckin’ universe, this is spectacular” he stood up again and stared at her, “oh come on, I meant it when I said you need to get your eyes checked, if you call that art, then why do I feel like a one-trick pony?” she snapped before she stomped over to the bay window again and sat down in the moonlight. “Ok..” he sat down next to her “wanna talk about it?” she was just in time to move away from his hand that hovered over her knee, “not really?” she mumbled staring out the window, she so needed Jared right now instead of this man, but he was still too busy partying down there, at least that’s what she thought because he was nowhere to be seen. “LA, right? I don’t get it, why don’t you try and think of it as NY but with a lot more heat and humidity?” he grinned “if you ask me, I think the problem is not really LA as a city that is blocking your creativity, I think it’s you that is blocking her own creativity because you agreed to leave NY for a guy and that is against every single one of your principles”. What? Why were her cheeks burning all of a sudden? fuck! “oh really? Listen mister, I wouldn’t give up your dayjob just yet in this ridiculous quest of becoming a shrink” she huffed again, “oh come on, why so defensive all of a sudden, could it be because I’m right?” this time he shuffled closer, one hand wrapping around her shoulder and the other hand landing on her knee. Jared rushed up the stairs, where the hell was she? Not in his bedroom, not in the bathroom,  he followed the light that came streaming out of her studio “Babe, I’m so sorry, I..” he barged in but stopped in his tracks when he was greeted by her being glued against Cooper “what the hell..”

#jared leto #jared leto fanfic #jared leto fanfiction #a man on fire #chapter 82 #30secondstomars #30 Seconds To Mars #30 secondstomars fanfic #Harper Coco #Harper and Jared #caroline18mars

[cesabutterflywrites]

525,600 Minutes

Summary: Logan meets Patton in a coffee shop after losing his connection to the stars. What follows is a year of their life, and their first seasons of love. Inspired by Seasons of Love from the musical RENT.

Word Count: 15,708

Rating: Strong T for mild cursing, mentions of sexual intimacy

Ship: Logicality

Characters: Logan/Logic, Patton/Morality, Thomas Sanders(brief), Virgil Sanders(brief)

Warnings: Suicide mention, self deprecation, anxiety, alcoholism, arguing

A/N: This was supposed to be 4k words and a little short oneshot. The infamous fic I’ve been complaining about for a while. It was supposed to be a little fluff piece to distract from my Prince in the Storm fic. Well, Patton and Logan had other ideas. I put a lot of effort into this, but it has been a few years since I’ve written anything so it will be a bit rough in some areas. I hope you enjoyed and feedback is encouraged. This is not a multichapter. Also on Ao3. Song Logan sings is Irresistible by One Direction. 

525,600 minutes

Summer

It was a hot August evening. Despite the darkness of the night, the temperature outside was still a good seventy degrees Fahrenheit. There was a hint of a breeze in the air, however, that made it more bearable to go stargaze.

One thing Logan loved about summer nights were the clear skies; perfect for seeing the sky with its navy hues of blue and purple. He also enjoyed how the grass in his backyard wasn’t muddy from rain. It was still soft enough to lay on (with a blanket underneath him, of course).

Summer nights were for relaxing. The heat hardly made it easy to do anything productive. Even less invigorating activities such as reading, sitting at a desk, and taking a shower ended with him still drenched with sweat. While it was grimy, dirty, and made his skin feel uncomfortable...he also loved it. The heat swelling in his face gave him the feeling of life that he had lost over the course of cooler months.

Knowing it was hot outside, he was prepared in adequate attire. He did not want to dirty any presentable clothes with grass stains, so he wore what would be deemed as ‘house wear’. A white tank top that was a bit too small from many times in the dryer, some denim shorts with a belt. It was not his preferred way to dress, in fact he avoided thinking about what would happen if any of his friends saw him in those clothes.

When the blanket was laid down, Logan rested his head in his hands and looked at the stars. Of course, he could name the constellations that were popular. Orion, Ursa Major, et cetera. However when Logan needed a break from recalling fact, when he needed a moment to just exist within himself, he made his own constellations. That was what summer was for. Summer was for retreat. Time away from work, away from stress, away from...people.

That night, however, he struggled to come up with an image. His mind kept swirling with questions about the stars. What would it mean to touch a star? What would it feel like to see the stars in someone’s eyes? Everyone around him in the summer were focused on romantic endeavors. His colleagues would take about their dates to the boardwalk, to an ice cream parlor, to a swimming pool. Summer seemed to be the time where everyone found someone.

Logan took a deep breath in, tasting the hot moisture of the night and letting it stick to his lungs. He was not blind to the fact that he was thirty years old without ever having a...person. Not that he didn’t desire anyone, he just never found someone he ‘clicked’ with. Of course, there was no point in setting himself up for heartbreak when he saw there wasn’t a stable enough connection. Most times it wasn’t bothersome, most times he could be distracted by his work and the stars. For as long as he could remember, the stars were better companions than other species. They listened to his concerns without him ever needing to verbalize them. They heard his deepest wishes, tasted his loneliness when it was unbearable.

So what was different about that night? He could see the stars but it was as if they had hung up on him. It was as if they abandoned him. When all he sought was some relaxation, he was met instead with isolation.

He closed his eyes, hoping that by doing so the galaxies above him would shift just enough for him to pick up the connection.

When he opened them, there was a bright sun and the sky was a light blue. He brought his hand up to shield himself from the sudden burst of light to his eyes. His skin was sweaty, and a bit red. His tank top stuck to him and his shorts chafed against his thighs.

He hadn’t meant to fall asleep. Perhaps the warmth of the night had acted like a blanket and helped him drift off.

With a sigh, he slowly pulled himself off the ground to make his way indoors. He didn’t want to bother with the blanket, what he needed was a cold shower and some aloe vera lotion. After that, an iced coffee.

~~~~

The coffee shop wasn’t very crowded when he arrived. Most everyone had already grabbed their drinks and were enjoying the sun. Logan wasn’t too burned by his outdoor slumber, the only place he felt sore was his face.

When he got to the counter he noticed the barista was new. Chocolate brown locks curling over a tan face with a splatter of freckles along soft cheekbones and a button nose. The man made the standard uniform of white shirt, black pants, and a blue apron seem like something out of a magazine.

Logan felt his face heat up even more. It was uncomfortable to blush under his burn, but not unwelcome.

“Hi there! Welcome to Skye’s Cafe. What would you like to order today?” the barista asked, and Logan nearly fainted. His voice was filled with such enthusiasm. Logan hadn’t thought it possible that he could hear sunlight.

“Uh-I would like a, um,” Logan needed to think. What had he come in for again? Where was he? His skin was on fire from the intense waves of immediate attraction pulling him in.

“Don’t worry, take your time,” the man encouraged, “There’s no one behind you so don’t feel rushed.”

Logan glanced behind him and was brought back to earth. He shook his head as if the feelings that overcame him were nothing more than fleeting thoughts.

Turning back to the handsome figure behind the register, he gave his order as casually as he could, “Iced coffee, light cream and sugar.”

The barista cheerfully nodded as he put the order into the register. Next he grabbed a cup and sharpie, “Name?”

Logan’s throat closed but he managed to get out, “Logan”

“Logan, what a great name. Mine is Patton!”

Another wave of emotion crashed over Logan. Patton. Suddenly he knew the name of God’s most perfect angel. Fire licked at his feet and he struggled to keep his balance.

“Thank you, uh, Patton. Are you new here?” Logan asked, noticing the nervous tone in his own voice.

Patton didn’t seem to notice the edge in Logan's voice. He walked off to start making the drink but he answered, “Yes I am, today is actually my second day out of training.”

Logan didn’t have a response other than ‘hm’. Patton had gotten the drink ready quicker than any of the other baristas had before. Logan grabbed the drink from the counter and indulged in one more glance at Patton’s face. They both exchanged a smile.

“That was the quickest anyone made my drink,” Logan blurted out.

A pink blush crept up underneath the freckles on Patton’s face. “Oh, thank you. Everyone has been saying that today. I guess I’m a quick learner.”

“Well, thank you. I hope to see you more often,” Logan internally chastised himself. He didn’t mean to overstep his bounds.

Patton blushed even harder, “Well, at the end of the week I’ll know what my schedule is for sure. Maybe after that I could tell you.” Patton’s eyes went wide when he realized the implication of what he said, “O-of course, so you can have your drink made quicker!”

Logan smirked at the flustered barista. It was a comfort to know he wasn’t the only one flustered. “Then I’ll hope to see you when you know.”

Patton only nodded in response, then the bell rang signaling another customer walking in. “Well, it was nice talking to you Logan. I hope you enjoy your drink.”

Logan nodded then went to sit down at his usual table in the corner near the window. It was the perfect lighting for reading a book. He took a sip of his drink and jolted a bit.

So this is what heaven tastes like

~~~~

A few weeks went by, August was nearly over, and Logan made it a point to go get coffee 10 minutes before Patton was due for a break. They had gotten to know each other quite well, though Logan realized the man of sunshine could be a bit...eccentric.

“Hey, teach, wanna hear a joke?” Patton asked as he sat across Logan.

Logan sighed. Mostly out of habit, he knew whatever joke came out of those pink lips would fill him with joy. “Sure, go ahead Patton.”

Patton started giggling, barely able to start. Logan’s heart pounded to the rhythm of the sound. “Okay, okay. What,” Patton grinned at Logan with a raised eyebrow, “do you call a pan from mars?”

Logan’s eyebrows scrunched, wondering what the punchline would be. “There are no pans on Mars that we know of.” He responded.

“Marzipan!” Patton shouted before dissolving into a mess of giggles. His arms wrapped around himself in an attempt to hold himself together.

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “That one didn’t even make sense, Pat.”

It took a few seconds for Patton to compose himself to respond. Logan felt a smile tug at his lips at how absolutely precious the man in front of him was. “It doesn’t have to make sense, that’s why it’s so funny!”

Logan let out a small laugh, “Whatever you say, Sunshine.” Logan’s eyes widened immediately. He hadn’t meant to call Patton Sunshine, it just slipped out.

Patton looked stunned for a minute, before he broke out into a wide grin. “What did you call me?”

“I- I didn’t mean… I hadn’t meant to- I’m so sorry I don’t know where that came from.” Logan put his head in his hands to hide his blush and shame from Patton.

“Hey Logan, look at me,” Patton requested softly. Logan just shook his head in his hands, refusing.

He didn’t hear Patton move, but suddenly there was a warmth sitting next to him. Gentle, soft hands wrapped themselves around Logan’s wrists and tugged them down. Logan was a slave to the request, fire spreading up his veins and causing his heartbeat to fill his head and ears. He looked at Patton to see a light in those puppy brown eyes he had come to quickly fall for.

“It’s okay, I like the nickname. I’m flattered that you think so highly of me, cause...well I…” Patton looked out the window behind Logan, a twinkle in his eyes and red starting to creep up along his cheekbones. “I think pretty highly of you, too.”

Logan couldn’t hear his thoughts, or perhaps he had none. Words had escaped his mouth and mind as they had the first time he laid eyes on Patton. “How much?” he asked. He needed to know if Patton, too, felt the fire. He needed to know if Patton felt the pull as well.

The curly haired, freckled, sunshine man looked into Logan’s eyes. There was the fire. The flames Logan had felt consuming him all these weeks; they came from those eyes.

Patton moved a hand to reach up to Logan’s face. He waited for Logan to nod before making contact. Logan felt himself lean into Patton’s hand. It was almost as if those hands were sculpted to hold him. Or maybe Logan’s face was made to be the clay Patton were to use to his own will. Patton didn’t seem to know it, but he held all of the power over Logan.

“I think you are so smart. You may seem annoyed by my humor, but I can tell that you secretly enjoy it. You have pretty blue eyes that make me feel like I’m in a refreshing pool of water. You seem guarded with everyone except me, and I feel that it is an honor that is rarely given. So, I think very highly of you.” Patton’s voice was low for once, his words sounded as if he had rehearsed what he needed to say.

Logan could no longer bear it. He was too warm, his throat was dry, he needed to do something to release and cease the heat. He grabbed Patton’s face and pulled him in for a kiss.

Fireworks exploded in his stomach as Patton kissed him back. The world disappeared until all that was left was them. Logan’s first kiss, the first kiss he had been skeptical would ever come for thirty years, made all that time worth it. He felt himself smile against the soft lips of his new love. They pulled apart, grinning at each other like fools.

“Sunshine, how do you feel about stargazing?”

525,600 minutes

Autumn

October had come to an end, and Patton was the happiest man on Earth. Autumn was his favorite season. It was the time of year for hot chocolate, warm soup, cozy blankets, and snuggles. The air cooled, breezes picking up orange leaves and scattering them along the ground. They crunched under his feet. Rain fell from gray clouds, making him feel like he needed to dance. Well, maybe his reason to dance was more than just that it was raining.

Things were going great with his new boyfriend, Logan. They had been going steady since the first time they kissed at the end of August. He had been working at Skye’s coffeeshop for about two months and was recently offered a raise for how much business he was bringing in. He wasn’t quite sure what she had meant by that, but he didn’t really mind. Skye was an amazing boss to work with, and started to become an amazing friend. Patton loved making friends. He just loved making people happy.

He had been on his way to Logan’s house when the rain started to really pour. He had forgotten to bring an umbrella with him before he left work, so he started jogging so he could get to the warm embrace of the house and Logan’s arms quicker.

He had reached the door when the downpour had started to turn into a storm. His knuckles knocked on the dark wood door to the house he had come to spend every evening at for a month. He rubbed his arms and bounced in an attempt to warm himself up. Despite the cold and wet, he couldn’t help but feel happy.

Every day he felt laughter bubbling up in his chest as he looked forward to seeing his wonderful boyfriend. All he could think about every day was the way Logan’s lips twitched when he was trying to hide a smile. How he would tip his glasses up and glance away when he felt extra smart. How he would blush whenever he caught Patton staring. He always looked forward to spending what precious moments he could with his most bestest boyfriend ever.

Logan answered the door. Patton’s smile wavered as he took in Logan’s appearance. His hair was disheveled, his glasses were missing, and all he was wearing was a robe and boxers. There were dark bags under his eyes, and his lips were curved down in a frown.

“Oh my God, what happened Logan?” Patton gasped. He had never seen Logan look this unkempt.

Logan looked confused until he seemed to process Patton’s question. “Oh, nothing Patton. What are you doing here?” The whiskey on his breath wafted into Patton’s nostrils. Oh.

Patton didn’t answer as he tried to step past Logan inside. Logan tried to resist him but he stumbled. Patton scanned his eyes across the living room and couldn’t believe what he saw. There were books strewn about as if they had been tossed around. The couch was covered in tissues. There was a whiskey bottle on it’s side resting on the coffee table. Try not to think about it, Patton.

He jumped as Logan slammed the door. “What are you doing here, Pat?” Logan sounded...angry.

Patton turned to look at Logan. His blue eyes were bloodshot and puffy, as if he had been crying. Patton walked closer but Logan backed away. “Don’t.”

Tears formed in Patton’s eyes but he wouldn’t let them fall. He needed to know what was going on, so he kept walking forward until Logan was backed against the wall. He was a little shorter than his boyfriend, but that didn’t make his stare any less intense.

“Logan, Starlight, what’s wrong?” he asked softly. He tried to ignore the sob that was threatening to escape his throat. The cold fear stabbed his heart.

Logan put his hand on Patton’s shoulder to push him away, but he was too weak. His head lolled sideways as he tried to form a response. “Nuffin’” was all that he came up with. He then slid down the wall to sit on the floor. “Standing hard.”

Patton took a deep breath in to calm himself. He knew Logan needed him, so he shoved his worries and temptations aside and sat next to Logan on the floor. Once again he asked, "What happened?"

This time Logan didn't try to push Patton out. He leaned his head onto Patton's shoulders and cried. The sounds rang in Patton's ears like a twisted version of the bells in Logan's laugh. Patton's heart beat erratically in his chest like usual, except this time for much more heartbreaking reasons.

All he could do was put his arm around his love and rub his shoulders for comfort. Logan calmed a bit in response to the touch, as if Patton touching him gave him enough clarity to speak through the burning alcohol in his blood.

"A, uh, a student of mine passed away yesterday." Logan whispered, "Suicide," he choked out.

Patton suddenly saw why Logan seemed destroyed. He was a fairly new teacher, and chose to work at the middle school. He hadn't dealt with a student death before, especially one so young.

Patton felt the ice in his heart melt away from the empathy he held for his love. He unfortunately was very familiar with the beast of suicide.

So maybe that's what gave him the right words to say, "Starlight, you can't hold yourself at fault for the death of another. You did what you could, and in the end you lost a person close to you. However that doesn't lessen the worth of your efforts. Sometimes," tears fell down Patton's face like the rain outside,"Sometimes it feels like we're being swallowed whole. That simple things like getting out of bed in the morning is the same as jogging for six miles with no water or food. No matter the love we receive, sometimes our minds are filled with so much darkness we filter it all out."

Logan looked up at Patton. Even while intoxicated he understood what Patton meant by 'we'."Are you suicidal too?"

The question hung in the air between them. Lighting flashed through the windows and thunder followed suit. The silence between them was amplified by the electricity in the air. Between them a puddle of truth that Patton had to step into in order to reach the next step in their relationship.

"Why aren't you answering me?" Logan pleaded, tears once more flowing. His voice was gravel. He clung Patton's shirt in his fists and pulled himself to sit in front of him.

Patton's eyes were wide. Hiding the pain was always better. Making others smile was the only way to keep from adding more pain in this world. Yet he saw that with each second of silence he was hurting Logan more.

He decided to try a new way of soothing another's pain. "I was, as a child. I had a lot going on. I made an attempt at one point, even. But I survived. And now I’m glad I did, because I have you.”

Neither of them could speak after that, for there were no words. The two of them instead used their bodies to speak. Patton rubbing Logan’s back in small circles said ‘I love you’. Logan nuzzling into Patton’s chest while crying said ‘it hurts too much’. Logan taking Patton’s hand to move to the couch to cuddle meant ‘thank you’. Patton petting Logan’s hair said ‘You’re welcome’.

Logan kissing Patton’s thigh before falling asleep whispered ‘I love you too’.

~~~~

“I want you to accompany me to Thanksgiving dinner with my family.” Logan blurted one cloudy afternoon.

They had decided to go for a walk in the park by the coffee shop. Patton had forgotten his umbrella again, but Logan anticipated this, and brought an extra one. They had been walking in comfortable silence, taking in the image of the trees bare of their leaves. The world looked more toned down, which in a way calmed Patton. He loved the gray tones of the clouds in the sky, he loved the pumpkin patches, he loved the leaves, he loved the smell of rain.

Most of all, he freaking loved Logan in a scarf and jacket.

“Uh, what?”

“I want you to come with me to visit my family for Thanksgiving.” Logan repeated. The blush on his cheeks seemed to be deeper than being from just wind chill.

“Oh, um…” Patton was at a loss for words. Of course he wanted to go, but past experiences had told him that meeting the family wasn’t a good idea. “I don’t know…”

Insecurity crept it’s way into Patton’s mind. His exes had always been interested in him until he interacted with their families. He always told a joke that fell flat, always got too confused, always said something wrong. Always… did something wrong. However, he was a different person now. Plus he loved Logan so much...he just wasn’t ready to lose the love of his life through his own stupidity, or possibility of stupidity.

He obviously had been too quiet, because Logan stopped walking to look at Patton, his head tilting to the side in a way that tugged at Patton’s heart strings. Logan looking inquisitively made Patton feel important. When he puzzled Logan it wasn’t because he was a ditz, it was because Logan found him fascinating. The look on his face made Patton want to double check that his fears were unfounded.

“I mean, are you sure? What if I say something embarrassing?” Patton looked down at his shoes.

Logan lifted Patton’s chin up. Cool blue eyes chilled the heat in his heart. He felt his breathing get steadier with the solidity that was Logan. With one simple touch he felt roots planting into the ground beneath them, intertwining their souls to grow together forever. No wind could shake them. No storm could knock them down. In that moment, Patton knew there was nothing that could make Logan stop loving him. He also knew that he felt the same way.

“Sunshine, nothing you could do would make me unsure of how right you are for me,” Logan confirmed.

He cupped Patton’s cheek with his hand, “Your face was made to fit within my hands, for you are my world.”

His other had wrapped around Patton’s torso, pulling him closer, “Your body was made to be against my own; for you are my support.”

He leaned his forehead against Patton’s, “Your mind is the opposite of mine. Bubbly, bright, and full of light; for you are the sun to my moon.”

Logan’s lips brushed Patton’s, and he whispered, “Your lips were meant to kiss me; for your name is my prayer to the stars.”

Logan then kissed Patton in a way that felt different than their other kisses before. He felt as if he was being pulled back into his body. He embraced his love and they twirled, lips never parting. In that moment the two of them knew what it was to find what fit in the empty space within their souls.

Being grounded within Logan helped push his insecurities, fears, and old demons to the side. Logan’s arms were where he needed to be.

~~~~

Patton felt his nerves were firing up to the point he couldn’t sit still. It was a two hour drive to Logan’s brother’s house. Logan was in the driver’s seat, which was a good thing because Patton was too excited to concentrate. He was wearing his Thursday Best. He had an off-white cardigan on with a light blue polo underneath. He rubbed the palms of his hands over his freshly ironed khakis. It was the only thing he could do to stave off the need to bounce his leg.

“Hey, Starlight?”

“Yes, Sunshine?” Logan’s voice was deeper than normal. When he was concentrating on something else his voice dropped, and it sent butterflies flying in Patton’s stomach every time.

“Does your family know I’m coming with you?” Patton didn’t want to intrude

“They know I am bringing a plus one, yes.” Logan’s response was curt.

“A plus one?” Why did that leave a sick feeling in Patton’s stomach?

Logan sighed, his hands gripping the steering wheel tighter. “I...I never dated anyone before you.”

Patton was stunned. He was Logan’s first boyfriend, first partner...ever? He knew Logan didn’t have much experience with relationships...but he didn’t know ‘not much’ meant ‘none at all’. “Why not?” he couldn’t help but ask. Underneath his question was ‘why me, then?’

Logan took a minute to form a response. The downward curve of his mouth told Patton that his boyfriend was at a loss for words. He waited patiently for the response, choosing to look out the window at the rain falling around them in the daylight.

“I never found anyone who I saw as compatible enough to risk a relationship. I didn’t want to start something that was doomed to fail.” Logan blushed, “I guess you are the one for me, I never questioned my attraction to you. I never had to list the pros and cons of starting a courtship.”

“Awww...Starlight,” Patton cooed, “I love you too. Thank you for taking the risk, because if you hadn’t I don’t think I’d be here.” There was some truth to his statement, they were getting into the time of year when he started feeling…wrong.

“Well, obviously, it’s my car.”

Patton laughed, “Dad joke!”

Logan groaned, “You know I didn’t do it on purpose.”

They both chatted and sat in silence on and off until they pulled up to the house. Anxiety crawled up the back of Patton’s neck like a spider. He shivered. When Logan opened the door for him he didn’t move to get out.

“What’s wrong, my love?” Logan asked, concerned.

“I’m a bit..scared…” Patton admitted with a whisper.

“You’re going to be okay, I promise.” Logan reached his hand out. Patton had no choice but to climb out of the car to grab the steadying hand of his lover.

They walked hand in hand up the path to the house. The sun was starting to set, which set orange and pink hues splattered on the yellow house. If the family inside were as inviting as the outside of their home, Patton would have no problem fitting in.

Logan knocked on the door. His expression was his usual neutral stare. Patton felt Logan grip his hand tighter as the door was opened by a man who looked like Logan, but younger.

The man smiled and pulled Logan into a hug, which Logan stiffened in. “Good to see you, brother! Hey, who’s the friend?”

“Patton, this is my brother Thomas. Thomas this is my-” Logan paused, they hadn’t exactly had a chance to discuss how he’d be introduced. Evidently Logan decided for Patton and boldly proclaimed, “My boyfriend.”

Thomas’ eyebrows raised. “Well, that explains, um, a lot.” He then turned to Patton to shake hands with a bright smile, “It’s nice to have you over, Patton. Welcome, and come on in.”

They entered the house and the inside was even more inviting than the outside. The living room they had walked into had two couches. There was a fireplace in one corner, and in the other corner next to it was an entertainment center. The room’s walls were decorated in family photos, and some awards.

Patton was in awe, it was very different from his family’s home when he was growing up. The lighting was soft, warm and welcome. He loosened his grip on Logan’s hand just a bit. He felt more relaxed.

Not acknowledging the other people in the room, his eyes zoned in to the creature on the floor.

“Cat!” he loudly whispered to Logan.

Logan didn’t have time to form a response because conversations in the room ceased to look at them. Patton noticed that Logan was very uncomfortable, but he couldn’t figure out why. They all seemed like nice people.

An older woman came up to them, her smile was so bright. Patton couldn’t help but smile in return.

She reached out to shake hands. “I’m Matilda, Logan’s mom. Thank you for joining us.” Her voice reminded Patton of warm chocolate chip cookies. Her eyes were blue like Logan’s but more lively, full of stories and experiences only an older person would have.

He shook her hand back, “Nice to meet you, I’m Patton.”

There were a few more members of the family to meet. They formed a bit of a line to make introductions easier. There was Thomas, who owned the home. Matilda, Logan’s mom. One of Logan’s cousins, Jeff, and his teenage son, Virgil. Virgil didn’t introduce himself per se, he just looked up from his phone when he heard his name and waved halfheartedly. Patton didn’t take much offense, he remembered being a teenager once.

Once he had greeted everyone, he kept his eyes on the small cat perched on the windowsill. It was a lovely little long haired calico. Patton loved calicoes. He so badly wanted to go over and pet it, but he hadn’t thought to bring his allergy medication. He was so focused on the cat that he didn’t hear Logan say his name.

“Sunshine, Patton, Patton!”

“Oh, sorry Logan. What were you saying?” he asked, blushing a bit.

“We’re going to the dining room to eat dinner. Are you going to join us or continue staring at the cat?” Logan asked, seeming a bit annoyed.

Patton tried not to notice the edge in Logan’s voice, instead he chose to smile and put his hands on his hips. “I haven’t been introduced to the cat yet, Logan. It’s rude to go eat if I haven’t even met all the residents of the home.”

Logan rolled his eyes, “Sunshine, you’re allergic.” Patton took his hands up to his face to try to give his boyfriend the puppy eyes. He knew Logan couldn’t resist his pleading face for long.

Finally Logan gave in, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Her name is Surefoot.”

Patton turned back to the cat and cooed. “Awe, Surefoot, what a pleasure to meet you. Unfortunately I have to go eat, but it was mice to meet you meow.”

He giggled as Logan groaned. “Can we go eat now?”

Patton nodded and went to join the rest of the family. The dinner was amazing. He got along great with Logan’s family. They were so fun to hang out with. Thomas didn’t bat an eye when Patton denied a glass of wine. Matilda laughed with him over some embarrassing stories of Logan as a child. Even Virgil chimed in a few times.

After Logan had some food, his mood seemed to get a bit better. He also seemed relieved at his family’s easy acceptance of Patton. The two kept making side glances at each other. Thank you, Logan’s eyes seemed to say.

Patton’s kiss on his cheek was his way of saying you’re welcome.

525,600 Minutes

Winter

Logan hated winter.

He hated the snow, he hated driving in the snow, he hated the sun reflecting into his eyes from the snow. He hated the kids shouting around him when he went to work during a snowball fight. He hated when school got canceled last minute because of the snow.

This year was a bit different. Maybe there was one good thing about winter…

Patton wearing a Christmas sweater was adorable as hell.

School had been canceled, so he had decided to sleep in. He wasn’t expecting Patton to be over that day, at least not in the morning. So he was surprised when he had gotten to the bottom of the stairs to see his boyfriend in the kitchen. He smelled bacon, and heard sizzling that suggested pancakes were being made. Christmas music was being played softly from Patton’s phone. Patton was bouncing and doing a little dance while he stood at the stove, back turned to Logan.

Logan saw that Patton was wearing a light blue and white sweater, with cats and dogs on the back. Logan couldn’t help but burst with happiness. He strode to come up behind Patton and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. Patton startled a bit but quickly relaxed against Logan. Logan peeked and saw that pancakes were being made. His stomach grumbled a bit, so he kissed Patton’s cheek and went to grab a piece of bacon.

“This is a nice surprise, Sunshine.” he commented.

Patton shrugged. “Well, I couldn’t sleep well, so I thought I’d bring some groceries over and make you breakfast. Especially since school was canceled.” Logan noticed Patton’s smile was bright but a bit..off.

“Why couldn’t you sleep?” Logan asked, paying extra attention to Patton’s face.

Patton stared down as he flipped the pancakes over. “No reason to be concerned, Starlight. Just couldn’t sleep is all.”

Logan had grown to notice Patton very well. He spent so much time looking at his love’s face. He had memorized every inch of Patton that he could. He knew how his curly hair puffed after waking up, he knew how his freckles nearly disappeared when he blushed, he knew all of Patton’s different smiles.

So obviously he knew when Patton was faking it.

There was a bit of silence between them. Patton put the pancakes on a plate, reached behind Logan for some bacon, and avoided Logan’s stare. He set the food down at the kitchen table and sat down. Smiling up at Logan he asked, “You gonna join me, Starlight?”

Logan frowned as he sat down. He normally enjoyed Patton’s cooking but he felt everything was..off. Odd. He didn’t want to push Patton, but he couldn’t keep his curiosity in for long.

They both ate in silence until Logan had had enough. “Okay, Patton, what’s wrong?”

Patton looked startled. “N-nothing, I just-”

“You couldn’t sleep, I know. But I also know that you like to avoid talking about your negative feelings. Please let’s just avoid the tooth pulling and just tell me.” Logan didn’t mean to sound mad. He was just frustrated.

Patton was flushed with embarrassment and looked down. “I-I just..” he closed his eyes, and Logan noticed a teardrop from Patton’s face, “I just was feeling really down last night. It was pretty bad, that happens a lot in the winter. I start feeling...bad, for some reason. Wrong.” he pushed his plate away and laid his head in his arms, sobbing, “I’m wrong!”

Logan felt his heart starting to splinter. He hadn’t meant to ruin the mood. He didn’t mean to push, and he certainly hated the idea of being the reason the love of his life was crying.

Logan gently stood up and knelt beside Patton. He didn’t ever imagine what he would do if his love had fallen apart. He laid his hand on Patton’s back and felt the wracking sobs vibrate within his own bones. His heart rate increased the the growing sorrow he felt for hurting the one person he needed. With each sob from Patton he felt his head spin even more.

“C’mon love, let’s move to the couch for a bit, yeah?” he pleaded. He needed to hold Patton in his arms and take all the burdens of the world away. He needed to hold his love steady enough in order to hold himself together.

Patton nodded and stood up with Logan’s help. Immediately, before Logan could see his face, he was embraced by Patton. The arms around his torso tortured him with their shaking. He held back his own tears and fears as he guided Patton to the sofa in the living room. Patton leaned his head on Logan’s lap and nuzzled. Logan would have found the action adorable if it weren’t for the fact that the reason why was still a mystery.

He didn’t exactly know what to do, so he followed his instincts. He started stroking Patton’s hair. He curled the locks around his fingers, loving the feel of soft chocolate smoothly running through his digits. He gazed down Patton’s body curled up on the couch. Even in the man’s sorrow, he still looked like the human representation of a precious cinnamon roll.

Logan wasn’t much of a singer, however he knew that Patton loved his voice so he started to hum softly,

“Don’t try to make me stay

Or ask if I’m okay

I don’t have the answer,”

Patton stopped shaking. Logan kept going, noticing his partner winding down.

“Don’t make me stay the night

Or ask if I’m alright

I don’t have the answer”

He felt Patton take a deep breath in, no longer sobbing. He noticed his sweatpants were a bit wet from his love’s tears. He didn’t care.

“Heartache doesn’t last forever

I’ll say I’m fine

Midnight ain’t the time for laughin’

When you say goodbye”

Patton turned to look up and Logan, his eyes red from crying. The normal bright stars looked burnt out. In the back of his mind, he noticed that they had left Patton’s glasses on the kitchen table.

“It makes your lips so kissable

And your kiss so missable

Your fingertips so touchable

And your eyes irresistible”

Logan’s heart burst open with light at the sight of Patton’s small smile. “Sorry, Starlight. I didn’t mean to ruin breakfast for you.”

Logan gently motioned for Patton to sit up. Once he had obliged, Logan took the soft hands of the person who had become his world from the moment they’d first met. He looked into the eyes that had held so much sunlight in the days prior. He shoved the questions he had about that to the side as he spoke, “Sunshine, you could never ever ruin anything for me.”

He reached out to cup Patton’s chin. “You are my Sunshine for a reason. You shed so much light in every room you walk into. You are so much stronger than me, you have an understanding of others that I will never have. You…” Logan couldn’t find the words to express how much Patton meant to him, so he thought he’d try a different way to use his lips to express his love.

He held Patton’s cheek and kissed. He tasted the salt and snot from Patton’s crying but he didn’t care. To him it was the way Patton tasted when he fell apart, and he loved every part of this man. He loved his smiles, his laughter, his jokes, his obsession with cats, he loved the light side. He also discovered that morning that he loved the dark side. He loved the tears, the sobs, the shaking, the shallow breathing. Even though the cries pierced his heart, even though he wanted to fall to his knees as freely as Patton’s tears, he still loved. Through the pain and cries, and snot and tears his love for Patton pushed him through his discomforts of emotions.

Patton groaned against his lips, the sound more guttural than he had been used to before. The next thing Logan knew, his lap was full of Patton. He was being straddled by a man in a sweater with animals on it. He was a bit shocked at Patton’s bravado. Normally they didn’t engage in such heated endeavors. They hadn’t gone very far...physically… in their relationship. Logan was never ready, and Patton was so patient.

This time, though, he felt ready. He felt a primal need build up inside of him. His hands slid under Patton’s sweater to feel the hot skin of Patton’s back. He whimpered when Patton moved his lips away from their kiss, then gasped in shock when Patton started to kiss along his neck. He gripped Patton’s hips as teeth nicked against his collarbone.

His head was swimming in desire for the man on top of him. He wanted to take him. He wanted to feel...that feeling. He wanted to take in his love’s touch. He wanted to touch all over Patton’s body and be touched in return. He wanted to feel the fire from the beginning of their courtship. He wanted to be doused in the flames of those chocolate eyes raking over his body. He wanted to melt against the body of the brightest thing he had ever seen. He wanted to go all the way so bad, but he couldn’t.

He listened to the voice of reason in his ear pointing out the possibility that Patton was trying to avoid the mess of the fit. He willed his fingers to pull away from Patton’s skin. He used all of his strength to gently push Patton away from his neck.

“Starlight, please,” Patton whined. Logan almost felt himself give in.

“No.” Logan denied. He noticed his voice was deeper than usual.

“Why not? I thought- I thought you wanted-” Patton’s eyes started to fill with rejection.

“I do!” Logan said quickly, not wanting to give the wrong impression, “I want it so bad. But not like this. Not under these circumstances.” He reached out to touch his love’s cheek, but was denied by Patton standing up.

“What, like you haven’t before?” Patton refused to look at him. Logan just sat on the couch stunned.

He needed Patton to look at him. “Sunshine, please, listen to me, come sit back down.”

Patton huffed, then sat back down, wrapping his arms around his knees. “Why not?”

Logan sighed, he hadn’t told Patton explicitly that he was a virgin. He had only mentioned that he hadn’t dated before. “I...I know you could tell that I don’t have much experience with intimacy. I know I’ve told you that there have been no others, but I meant it in all of the ways.”

An “Oh.” fell from Patton’s lips. “I’m sorry.”

 Logan smiled. “It’s okay. I still want to, and I know I’m ready, but I need to know first…” Patton looked away, “What happened?”

His love sighed, “I...I told you a while ago that I had been suicidal as a kid, after your student passed away.” Logan flinched at the memory. He wasn’t proud of the way he responded to the death, and he didn’t exactly want the reminder of the empty desk at the back of his classroom. However he let Patton continue.

“I have seasonal depression. In the winter I can get a bit… down,” Logan nodded, understanding what Patton was saying, “Normally I have been able to handle it. For about two years I’ve been managing...but this winter is especially hard for some reason.”

Logan scooted closer to put his hand on Patton’s knee, encouraging him to continue, “I guess I really missed you last night, you know?” Oh, how Logan did know, “But I didn’t want to disturb your sleep last night. So I just pushed through it. I tried to stuff it down. I felt icky and gross, kinda like I do now.”

Logan smiled softly and said, “You’re still glorious to me.”

Patton smiled and let out a laugh, “Thank you. I needed to hear that.”

The conversation would have continued, if it weren’t for both of their stomachs growling for breakfast. They both laughed.

“Let’s try to have second breakfast, yeah?” Patton asked while standing up.

All Logan did was gaze after the retreating form of his partner, admiring the animals on his cute sweater.

~~~~

It was December 24th. Logan and Patton had decided to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning together. Patton was acting so bouncy it was nearly intoxicating. Logan wasn’t one to celebrate Christmas much, outside of going to his brother’s house for a family dinner. He never decorated outside of a small tree in the front window to give a feeling of participation with his neighbors for the holiday.

So it was a bit of a shock to come home to his living room resembling Santa’s workshop.

He had walked into the sight of garland strung along the staircase. There were figurines of angels, elves, santa claus, reindeer, and on the center of the coffee table was a small nativity scene.

The biggest shock of all was the tree in the window.

Patton was humming along to the music he had put on, and was stringing the lights along the bottom of the real, giant green tree. Patton was too distracted to notice that Logan had come in, which was a blessing because it meant that Logan could watch Patton shimmy around the tree, being his adorable self.

Patton swayed his hips while he sang. Once the lights were set, he reached into the box behind him and pulled out more garland. He had a smile on his face, and the soft glow on his face from the colored lights made it all the more miraculous.

He noticed the song Patton was singing along was a bit...well, it was certainly outdated.

“I really can’t stay,” Patton sang

“But baby it’s cold outside”, the singer on the music player responded.

Logan smirked as he quietly snuck up behind his love.

“I’ve got to go away,” Patton continued, oblivious to Logan’s presence behind him.

“But baby it’s cold outside,” Logan crooned deeply while wrapping his arms around Patton.

Patton yelped, and would have jumped if it hadn’t been for Logan’s strong grip around his waist. “Oh, Starlight, you scared me,” he let out a relieved giggle.

Logan rested his chin on Patton’s shoulder, giving a kiss onto the man’s neck. Patton must have been baking, cause he smelled like gingerbread. He was wearing the blue sweater again, the material soft on Logan’s face. Logan couldn’t help but run his nose up and down the smooth flesh. He left kisses wherever he could. Patton doing this grand gesture for him only reinforced his need.

He had a craving for every bit of light Patton exude. Patton’s laughter was his drug, he was in bliss at the sight of that crooked smile. The freckles were constellations in shapes Logan could never imagine to exist. The stars had disconnected from him that summer evening because they knew their time was up. Their beauty was no match for the man now squirming in his grip.

“I’m going to pull you away from your decorating for a bit, is that satisfactory?” Logan whispered. He took the pleased whimper in response as a yes.

He turned Patton around and gave the most passionate kiss he could muster. He was ready. He was ready and the lights were perfect. The love was in the air, so thick he was drowning. They nearly knocked some of the decoration boxes down trying to make it up the stairs. Logan didn’t know where his new bravado was coming from. It was as if he were under a spell. The fire was back in his veins, roaring louder and hotter than he could bear.

The cold outside was no match for the heat in his cheeks as he pulled Patton onto his bed with him. They had both slept next to each other before. He knew that this time was different. This was more. This was further than he had ever thought he would go in his life.

Before Patton, he was content. Before Patton, he was fine without having a companionship outside of friendship. Before Patton, he could breathe on his own. Before Patton, he had only the bare minimum to get through life. Before Patton, he only needed the stars in his eyes in order to stave off loneliness. Before Patton, he was incomplete.

With Patton, he knew what it was like to step into the sunlight. With Patton, he was never alone. With Patton, he had warmth in his bed for the winter. With Patton, even his home reflected the utter joy he felt every second he spent thinking about his love. With Patton, he didn’t need the stars. With Patton, he wasn’t alone. With Patton, he was in love.

They spent that night blending their bodies into each other. Logan had no idea how he had got on without those feelings in the past. With each new touch he put on Patton, he forgot his before. Patton kissed all the cold away from every inch of his skin. They both knew what warmth in the winter felt like, and Logan never wanted to leave his love’s side ever again. They had reached a level of pure intimacy that he knew would destroy his soul if it disappeared.

After he reached the highest of heights, Patton pulled him back down to earth to lay on his shoulder. They stayed in bed for a while, tracing their fingers over each other’s bodies. He gazed at the sweaty brown curls resting on his chest. They laid in peaceful quiet, taking in the first breaths of fresh air since their first kiss.

“I never finished decorating the tree, Starlight, and tomorrow’s Christmas.” Patton whispered, looking up at Logan.

Logan couldn’t help but grin at the concern on his, now lover’s face. “Well, there’s always next year to have the chance to finish.”

Patton sighed with a dreamy smile, sitting up to peck a kiss on Logan’s nose. “Well, then I’m going to head to the shower to get cleaned up, wanna join me?”

Logan shook his head, “I need some water before I can even consider leaving the bed.”

Patton brought him a glass of water, then walked to the door before looking over his shoulder to get one last glance at Logan, “Merry Christmas, Starlight.”

“Merry Christmas Sunshine.”

~~~~

Logan never understood the meaning behind the phrase ‘time flies when you’re having fun’. Frankly, he never was able to imagine how time would feel differently passing depending on the activities. Did time move slower for others when they were sad? Did the seconds on the clock tick at a greater speed than he was able to hear? Had everyone been privy to a secret of the way time worked that he was being kept in the dark of? Evidently, yes, because he was surprised that the New Year was just one day away.

Patton had made the plans for the holiday, but was keeping them a secret. It was a miracle he was able to hold it in, because he was so excited every time Logan brought it up. As New Year’s Eve drew closer, it was like Patton was literally vibrating constantly. Though it was endearing the first few days, eventually it was pushing a button on Logan that he didn’t understand. Perhaps it was because he did not like being kept in the dark.

“Hey, Starlight! You ready for tomorrow night?” Patton called as he walked into the door of Logan’s house.

“I don’t know how I could be ready, since I don’t know what our plans are.” Logan snarked.

Patton laughed. “Well, someone is a grumpy gus. Don’t worry, I know you’ll love it.”

Logan just rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone, hoping for a distraction from his heightened annoyance. He didn’t want to hurt Patton’s feelings, he genuinely wanted to be excited, but surprises were hard for him to come to grips with. His family had stopped bothering to surprise him with birthday parties by the time he was five because he would always figure it out.

So why couldn’t he think of a possible way Patton would surprise him?

His boyfriend was such a wild card, he noticed with the seasonal depression being intense it meant that Patton was even more...emotional. Not that he minded, it was just a bit too much for him sometimes. He felt so guilty. He knew it wasn’t Patton’s fault, and truth be told he noticed the vitamin D supplements he gave to his love for Christmas were starting to make a difference.

Patton sat next to him, a dreamy smile on his face. “All I could think about at work was your handsome face.”

Logan huffed, “I hope it didn’t hinder your work.”

“No, it didn’t…” Patton trailed off, “Is something bothering you, Logan?”

Logan put his phone on the coffee table and sighed to himself. It was probably a good idea to get his feelings off of his chest in case it interfered with his reaction to the surprise in store for him. He leaned back to look at Patton, who seemed really nervous. That made it more difficult to form the words he needed.

“I love you, you know this, right?” Patton nodded. “I have been feeling...more irritable lately.”

“Why?” Patton’s eyes were watery already.

“Nothing you’ve done, per se. I just don’t really like surprises, so when you’re reminding me of it constantly it’s been a bit, well, grating on my patience.” He eyed Patton warily, waiting for an emotional response.

Instead, Patton just deflated. “I’m sorry,” he put his face in his hands, “I just wanted to give you a good New Year’s, but the plans weren’t set in stone, and so it was a surprise so I didn’t get your hopes up. I only just got confirmation today...and, and, and,” Patton curled up in a ball, still hiding his face. Though Logan didn’t need to see his lover’s face in order to tell he had started crying.

He took a deep breath, trying to ignore the urge to roll his eyes. He gently laid a hand on Patton’s knee. He reminded himself that winter would be almost over, this season would pass, and he shouldn't be so selfish to ignore his lover’s mental health problems.

“Sunshine, I’m sorry,” he truly was, “I guess I was wrong to assume you were trying to annoy me.”

“Annoy you?!” Patton’s head jerked up, heartbreak starting to form in his eyes.

“No! No, that's not what I-” Logan tried to say.

Patton stood up quickly, backing away. Betrayal took over his face like the dark shadow of an eclipse. Immediately Logan felt colder. Freezing. He knew what was happening. He was going to be put in the dark if he made one wrong move.

This moment came in every couple’s life. The highs crash into a low. The clear skies were replaced with stormy pain. It was the first test to see if they would make it.

“Patton, Sunshine, please sit down, I’m sorry,” he pleaded.

Patton smiled, but it was empty. He shook his head, dismissing Logan’s apology. “I should have known. I should have known you were no different from the others.”

Logan stood up. “Please don’t say that,” he whispered, “please don’t.”

His lover wiped the tears off of his face. “I’m sorry. I guess I thought I was better with you. I guess I thought I could be different with you. I guess I thought,” he tried to close his eyes to stop the tears, “I guess I thought I’d get to do what I wanted tomorrow night.”

Patton made his way to the door. Logan moved as quickly as he could. His tears fogged up his glasses but he didn’t care. He caught Patton’s sleeve and he got down on his knees. I can’t lose him, he thought to himself.

“I can’t lose you Sunshine. Please don’t leave. Please, I’m sorry I used the wrong word. I promise you weren’t-” he let the tears fall, exposing his heart, “I love you.”

Patton looked down at him. The fire in his eyes that Logan was used to was burning him, and for once it was painful. It wasn’t the comforting warmth he was used to, it wasn’t the fiery passion he needed. It was painful. His skin was burning and it was at the hands of Patton.

He leaned his forehead against his lover’s hand. “Please. I’m sorry. Please. I’m sorry.” he repeated over and over, a prayer for mercy.

Patton opened the door, took his hand from Logan, and pulled something out of his jacket pocket. “I’m going to go for a walk. Here’s your stupid... annoying, surprise.” he tossed a small box into Logan’s hands and slammed the door.

The small item burned a hole through his hands. He stayed there, on his knees, waiting for Patton to return like the loyal dog he was. He couldn’t believe what he’d done. One slip up, one misspoken word, one poorly timed comment- and his heart was shattered.

Tears were flowing freely from his face. This was the pain he had tried to avoid for thirty years. For years, he avoided attraction and courtship, in fear of what he was feeling. Kneeling at the door, waiting for Patton’s return.

He looked down at the box. It was a small black box wrapped in dark blue ribbon. He undid the ribbon, lifted the lid, and put a hand to his mouth to keep himself from screaming.

Inside the container was another box, obviously from a jeweler. Logan knew it’s contents before he opened it. He still needed to know. He needed Patton’s love and this was the closest he could get. Holding his breath in, he lifted the lid of the jewelers box. Inside was the most beautiful ring he had ever seen. Three deep blue sapphires set against a sterling silver band.

All thoughts of how early it was in their relationship never came. Just barely over four months seemed perfect to him in that moment. This ring gave him hope-hope that Patton would return to him to hear his answer. He lifted it out of the box with shaky, pale fingers. There was an inscription.

My Starlight

Logan tried to put the ring on his ring finger, it was a bit too loose, of course, Patton didn’t know his ring size. So he put it on his middle finger. It fit just fine. So close, but so so far.

He moved himself to the couch, still staring at the ring. He whispered a prayer to any of the stars above that Patton would return.

The stars must have burnt out in the night, because he never did. That night, or the next. So with new heartbreak came a new year.

525,600 Minutes

Spring

Springtime was usually a sign to Patton that the dark days were over. The sun making its way out of the storm clouds was the message to him that he survived. Every flower bud told him he made it past the winter. This year, however, he didn’t respond. The season coming in was a lie.

It was just another early spring sunrise peeking into his window. It was February 7th. One more week until Valentine’s day. If he had just not been so quick to overreact, he’d be where he belonged. Waking up to the bare bit of sun with the only person who would enjoy it enough. Instead, he woke up in his apartment. His dark, messy, lonely apartment.

Like he had done every morning since the mistake, he went to his fridge to search for a beer. He had been sober for two years when he had met...him. He had finally gotten a job that he was good enough at to stick with. He had finally had all the pieces of the puzzle complete. Perhaps he jinxed himself by trying to rush into the next step of his life. Maybe by buying the ring so soon, he had set in stone the doom he knew would come.

That’s why he walked out. He knew he had already corrupted the only good thing in his life. He was so disgusted with himself. So...icky. He felt wrong. That day he cemented that fact with slipping up. Without Logan, without his steady presence, he kept slipping further down the rabbit hole.

Work had stopped calling him to come in, and after two weeks he got an email saying that he had been terminated, and to come in to collect his last paycheck. He never did. Let Skye keep her money.

However, he was disappointed when he was confronted with an empty fridge. He used the last little bit of his savings to cover rent. He felt anxiety grip his chest. He knew he needed to go pick up that check after all.

He didn’t bother changing into suitable clothes. His clothes were all dirty anyways. He just put his cardigan on over his pajamas. Grabbing his wallet and phone, he left.

The light outside was too bright. The false reminder that hope was right around the corner. He put his hand up to block the sun. To block the truth. To block the facts that he was screwing up royally.

He always walked as much as he could. He did have a car, he just chose to walk whenever he could. When he was in the rehab program a year ago, they had told him walking was a good way to distract from the troubles that tempted him to drink. What an irony that he was now using that to go get what he needed to keep going down the rabbit hole. He wondered to himself if he ever did tell Logan that he was an alcoholic. Probably not. He had been too open already, and he didn’t need Logan to pretend to worry about him more.

He frowned as he came up to the coffee shop. There was a reason he avoided the place. It was a harsh reminder to what once was. What was a building full of new opportunities became a building of false hope. He planned to go in as quick as possible then leave as soon as the money was in his hands.

The bell rang above his head as he entered. He remembered the way it rang when Logan had walked through the door. Now, the ring was a shout ringing in his head about how wrong he was.

He walked up to the counter to see Skye, the owner herself, running the counter. Worry filled her eyes as she took in Patton’s appearance. “Wow, Patton, are you okay?” she asked, concern lacing her voice like a thick fog.

He smiled, feeling more hollow, “Yeah, just a lazy day. I’m here for the check.”

She didn’t seem convinced, and he couldn’t blame her. “Yeah, I’ll get it in about fifteen minutes when it’s my turn for break. Why don’t you sit down and wait?”

Patton just shrugged and sat at the table in the corner by the window. Their table. He was a masochist. Maybe the promise of this spring was the promise to remind him of his failures. Failure to stay sober. Failure to to dress himself properly. Failure to keep a job. Failure to keep-

Almost as if the universe were out to punish him further, the bell above the door rang. He saw the slicked back black hair and quickly turned his back to the counter. Please, please don’t see me like this.

He heard the usual order come from Logan. He almost felt the twitch in his fingers to put the order in the register.

He barely heard Skye say something else to Logan. Hoping to himself that she wasn’t pointing him out. He knew this was not going to be the case. Skye cared about them both. She wanted to make sure her friends were okay.

He didn’t want Logan to see him like this. Broken, small, a failure. He curled up in the booth, painfully aware that he and Logan were the only ‘customers’. He knew the moment Logan saw him because he could feel that familiar warmth of his gaze on his shoulder. He closed his eyes. He didn’t need to cry. It was over. He didn’t need to cry. It was over. That’s why he needed to cry, though. It was over.

“Hello, Patton.” Logan greeted.

Patton turned to see Logan standing above him. Logan looked very put together. He looked normal. His clothes were neat, his hair was tidy, and he was carrying his iced coffee like when they first met. It was like being taken back to the past. However, it was a dulled reflection. Logan’s blue eyes weren’t lit up with curiosity, they were iced over. His mouth wasn’t twitching up into a smile, his face was extremely neutral. While Patton’s appearance screamed and outed his heartbreak, Logan’s heartbreak was just a whisper.

“Hi.” It took everything in his power to not call him Starlight.

Logan gestured to the booth, silently questioning if he would sit. Patton just nodded.

Logan sat across from him, a sigh escaped from their lips both. Patton had already started to feel Logan’s grounding presence. For the first time in over a month, he felt hope. Was this the promise of spring?

“I’d ask how you are doing, but I can tell by the silence between us after you left, and your appearance, you are not doing well.” Logan remarked with no tact.

Patton looked out the window. There were couples walking by, children walking with parents. Every single one had a smile on their face, glancing up at the sky. Patton saw that spring had blessed them with kept promises.

“I’m not. I’m not okay one bit,” Patton started, “I don’t have any excuse, or reason, and frankly I’m still a bit drunk from last night so I’m not sober enough to talk about this.” He cringed at that last remark. Logan didn’t know. They had so little time he never told. He didn’t have enough time to tell him everything.

He risked a glance to see Logan nodding with pursed lips. There was a moment of intense silence before Logan started to talk, “I don’t blame you, you know. I don’t hate you, either, and looking at you now after the month that’s passed just shows me that you hold as much pain as I do.”

Patton closed his eyes, “You clearly don’t seem to be in as much pain as me.”

Logan slammed his fist on the table, causing Patton to jump. “Bullshit, Patton.” Patton took in a breath. The ice cold exterior had broken and Logan was spilling over his raging river of anger. “Do you know how long I waited by the door? Do you know how long I stayed home, waiting for you? Do you know how often I called? I may not hate or blame you, because with all this pain I still love you, but I sure as hell am pissed.” Logan’s stare was more intoxicating than anything Patton had consumed.

“I know,” Patton said simply. “Where’s the ring?” he asked, looking at Logan’s bare hands. He hadn’t held any expectations, but it still hurt to see the reminder of what he threw away.

Logan loosened his tie and pulled out a chain, and on it the ring. “It didn’t fit, and I wanted to wait to resize it until you came back.”

He could no longer hold back his tears. Seeing that Logan still held onto hope while Patton threw all of his away showed him just how far he had strayed. He wished so badly he was redeemable enough to go back to the way it was before. He felt so wrong. He leaned his head in his hands. The fog cleared his mind with every sob that escaped from him. He saw the mess he had created. He saw his overreaction to everything. He saw that Logan still carried hope, possibly for them both.

He noticed when Logan had reached over and started to stroke his hair. The way his curls fit around Logan’s fingers made him feel homesick. He used one of his hands to reach across the table, and with no hesitance Logan grasped him. “I’m so sorry, Logan.” he got out.

“I forgive you, Sunshine.” Logan said gruffly. Patton looked up to see Logan was also crying, just more quietly than him. “Please tell me what happened? Please tell me where you went? Just tell me why you never came back.”

The pleas actually reached Patton’s heart. The storm clouds had parted in his mind. He calmed himself down and sat up.

Before he could start to explain, Skye came up to them with an envelope in her hands. She just set it on the table and patted Patton’s shoulder. Her green eyes were filled with pity, and he noticed her go to the door and switch the sign to ‘CLOSED’. He was silently grateful for the privacy she was giving them. He didn’t deserve her kindness after the way he treated the job she had given him.

“Okay,” he breathed out, “Okay.”

Logan sat there, waiting for a response. “I guess,” he started, “I guess I was afraid. I was afraid that I had messed it all up. I didn’t want to give you that ring in the way I did. I was afraid, so I slipped up when I left. I went to the bar,” he closed his eyes in shame, “I went to the bar after two years of being sober. Then when I woke up the next day, not knowing where I was, just in some abandoned house...I hadn’t been that low in years.

I didn’t want to face you after that. We hadn’t even talked much about who I was before you. I couldn’t tell you like that. I couldn’t show you my dark side like...that. So I didn’t. I didn’t, then I just stopped trying to get through it all. I stopped caring,” he choked, “I stopped caring about the progress I threw away. So I threw the hope I held for our future away too.”

He stopped when Logan grasped both of his hands. Logan’s eyes weren’t full of judgment, or pity, or even anger. He still looked so in love it hurt Patton even more. He wanted Logan to be angry with him. “Why aren’t you angry with me yet?”

“Why should I be?” Logan asked, “Why should I punish you more than you’ve already punished yourself?”

Patton shrugged, not knowing how to respond to that logic. He sighed. He didn’t know what to do, he never thought he’d be this close to Logan ever again.

Logan started rubbing his thumbs over Patton’s hands. “Come home with me, Sunshine. I can’t- I can’t bear to see you like this. Please.” It wasn’t a question. It was near a demand.

Patton smiled softly at the man in front of him. He was nowhere near okay, but the promise of spring was that they will both be there someday.

He agreed, “Okay, Starlight.”

Logan hung his head in relief. “It’s so good to hear you say that, Patton.”

~~~~

Patton woke up shaking. He hadn’t been able to stop shaking for three days. He did not miss the withdrawal. He was shaky, he was anxious, and he had been vomiting non stop. His body ached, and he was on day 6 of being sober.

Logan had to go back to work after the first two days since Patton had come back to his house. He left the school’s number on the coffee table, bathroom mirror, fridge, and bedroom door. Reminders that he wasn’t alone. He didn’t want to be an annoyance again, but Logan insisted that he wasn’t. There was a strain in his voice whenever he reminded Patton of this.

Patton tried to stand to head to the bathroom, but he wobbled. Dizziness came in waves along with the headache. He rubbed his cheek to get some feeling in his face. He felt numb. He kept going in between numbness, and extreme emotions. He felt like he was going crazy. He stumbled toward the black curtains. He peeked outside to see it was raining. He sighed, the weather was matching his mood.

He grabbed some of his clothes from the floor. Getting dressed sent pins and needles up his legs. He felt so miserable, and without Logan there, he felt cold. Taking baby steps hurt. It was definitely a fitting punishment for him.

He made it downstairs with no problem. He wanted to check the kitchen for food since he was hungry, but he knew it was pointless. He saw the spot on the kitchen floor where he had thrown up the chicken noodle soup Logan had made for him the night before. There was no indication of his sickness, Logan had been cleaning up for him with infinite patience. Patton felt a pang of guilt as he walked into the living room.

He sat on the couch, reaching for the now clean puke bowl Logan assigned to him. On the coffee table next to the sticky note of the phone number, was another note.

Please don’t hesitate to call me if you need. Also, if you can, please consider what you would like to do for Valentine’s Day tomorrow.

Patton started to tear up. Just last week he hadn’t thought he’d be spending Valentine’s day with his boyfriend. He thought he’d be back at the bar, probably hooking up with someone else to curb the loneliness he had felt. Instead, he was shivering, drowsy, and anxious. He was back at the beginning of recovery. This time, though, it was different.

Spring had brought him the promise that he didn’t need to be alone anymore. The rain outside was a healing one, washing away the wounds of his past to strengthen the budding future between him and Logan. He thought about what he wanted to do tomorrow. He didn’t want to go out, while so far that morning he was a bit stronger, he wasn’t strong enough to handle an outing. He thought about maybe staying in and watching a movie. It was boring, but he hoped Logan didn’t mind.

Logan, who didn’t deserve any of what Patton had given him since the new year. Logan, who had become so soft, so much more sensitive because of Patton. Logan, who he heard crying in bed when he thought Patton was asleep. Logan, who looked at Patton like he was a dream. Logan, who left sticky notes and was willing to be bothered at work than have Patton leave again.

It was too much, Patton thought to himself. Too much to think of by himself. He hadn’t been able to thank Logan properly, or talk properly, since the withdrawal had started. Logan had gone to his apartment to gather his things, and made sure Patton’s car was still safe in the building’s garage. Patton didn’t even ask to move in, he had just stayed because he was too weak to go back to his place. Logan didn’t seem to mind.

Sweet Logan. His comfort. His boyfriend. Was he? Were they back together? Doubt crept into his mind again. What if Logan was letting him stay there because he felt bad for him? What if Logan was crying at night because he was too hurt to have Patton lay in his bed with him?

Before he knew it, he had dialed the work phone number in his cell to call. He was shaking really bad. He wasn’t throwing up, and he could technically move on his own, but he didn’t want to be alone. He couldn’t be alone. He needed Logan to reassure him that it was going to be okay. He needed Logan to remind him of the promise of spring.

The office had connected him to Logan’s classroom phone. A student picked up, “Room 48, who is it?”

Patton tried to speak through the shakes, “A family f-f-friend. It’s an emergency, c-c-c-can I sp-sp-speak to L-Logan?”

The student didn’t verbally answer, but two seconds later he heard his voice on the line. His shakes started to subside a tiny bit as he took in Logan’s soothing voice. “What’s wrong?”

“I c-can’t st-stop shak-k-king” he stuttered out. He was trying to curl up in a ball as his stomach churned. “C-could y-you come hom-m-me early?”

Logan sighed on the line, and Patton’s anxiety skyrocketed. He caught Logan at a bad time. He was going to be bothered and cranky and-

“Give me thirty minutes, is that sufficient or do you need someone there sooner?” Logan didn’t sound annoyed, just concerned.

“Thirty is f-fine,” Patton whispered into the phone.

“I’ll see you then.” Logan promised, then promptly hung up the phone.

Patton just laid there on the couch and let the tears stream down his face. He was too tired and cold to sob. He reached for a blanket and pulled it over his head. He closed his eyes, and next thing he knew he was asleep again.

He woke up a bit later to Logan shaking his shoulder. “Patton. Patton, could you wake up for me?” Concern was lacing his voice which encouraged Patton to try to respond.

“Yes, Logan?” he responded sleepily. He was so tired, he wanted to go back to sleep. He couldn’t help himself and fell back asleep despite Logan’s protests. His voice was like a fading echo as Patton drifted off. Sleeping kept the headache at bay.

His eyes fluttered open to the sound of heavy boots walking toward him, and there was a flashlight in his face. He noticed on the ceiling there were blue and red lights, and a radio was playing a ton of voices. In the back of his mind he knew there was an ambulance.

He wanted to say something, but instead fell back asleep. Or was it sleep? Was the sleep actually him passing out? It might have been.

Next time he woke up there was a pain in his elbow. He opened his eyes slowly, and he definitely was not on the couch. He didn’t need to ask anyone to know he was in the ER. It wasn’t his first time. He saw the pain in his elbow was an IV, probably fluids. He looked to the other side of his bed to see Logan scrolling on his phone with one hand, and holding Patton’s hand in the other.

Logan heard Patton’s head turn, and looked up. Without a word he stood up and kissed Patton with such passion he might have passed out again just from the butterflies in his stomach. He tasted the salt in Logan’s tears. He was suddenly aware of how dry his own lips were, and his tongue, and his throat.

Logan broke the kiss to lean his forehead on Patton’s. “Thank you so much for calling me home, though I would like for you to refrain from giving me anymore heart attacks this year.”

They both dissolved into hysterical giggles. Logan kept kissing Patton all over his face. Patton couldn’t help but laugh. They continued the playfulness until a nurse walked in.

“Good to see you awake, sir. Could you tell me what you remember?” the nurse asked while swiping a card in a scanner by the computer.

Patton told him of how he had stopped drinking the week prior, how he had been having some pretty bad withdrawal, and how he had managed to call Logan before ‘falling asleep’. Logan held his hand through it all, encouraging him to continue when he was too embarrassed. Once he was done, the nurse checked his vitals and walked out.

Patton looked at Logan, blushing. “Sorry for all the trouble, Starlight.”

“Don’t despair Sunshine,” Logan raised a brow, “However, when I requested you consider where you wanted to go for Valentine’s day, this was not what I had in mind.”

Patton furrowed his brow until Logan showed him the time; twelve fifteen am.

Patton giggled again, ignoring the way his abs clenched in pain. “Oops, happy Valentine’s Day I guess.”

Logan just chuckled and shook his head. They both kissed one more time, not caring about the setting they were in. They were together again.

~~~~

May had come, and Patton was happy. The spring rains had stopped so the flowers were blooming everywhere. He loved seeing the flowers in the park open. The world was back to being full of bold colors. The promise of spring had been fulfilled. He was okay again.

He had just finished his interview with Skye. Skye, the ever so patient and caring friend, told him that once he made it to six months sober he could have his job back. Patton readily agreed to the deal. It was more than what he thought he would get.

He was on his way to his usual Thursday 3:15pm appointment. He had an exercise he’d been trying out to see if it helped his mood. On his way to the clinic, he’d make a mental list of three things that held beauty. It could not be the same three things each week. It had been working, and it made him more observant overall.

This week’s three things were: the last flower on the rose bush outside of Logan’s house was blooming, the bookstore had a new display in the window, and there was a golden retriever tied to a bike rack outside the barber shop. The dog had greeted him excitedly, and looking at his watch he had a few minutes to talk to the dog.

“Aw, you’re so gorgeous. I wish I could say hi longer, but I have an appointment to get to. You are adorable, and I hope you also have a good day.” He spent some more seconds petting the dog, and when he made to stand up the dog licked his hand. Bonus beautiful thing.

He made it to the building at 3:05 pm. It was a smaller, green building that sat between a thrift store and sushi bar. Patton wasn’t one for fish, but he knew Logan was. He wanted to take Logan to sushi, but he was going to wait until his first paycheck after returning to work. It was one more thing to motivate him to keep moving forward.

When he was called back to the office, he couldn’t stop grinning to himself. The room was decorated with all of his favorite cartoon characters. When he had first started coming to therapy, he was pretty shy. He had been through it before, and after a while it had gotten too predictable. He knew what he was supposed to do, and when he reached a year sober he wanted to try on his own.

Logan had brought up therapy as an idea, just to help with recovery since relapsing. The doctor was apparently a volunteer at the middle school, after being a grief counselor for the students after their classmate’s death in November. Logan had talked with the doctor when Patton had left. Naturally, Patton was hesitant at first. After a week of Logan talking incessantly about him needing therapy, he gave in. He couldn’t resist his boyfriend’s pleas for long. He learned that the hard way.

He sat on the black sofa, smiling at the Finding Dory poster behind the doctor’s desk. It was only a moment later when the doctor came in.

“Hello, Patton! Do you how do?” the man cheerfully greeted.

Patton grinned in response. They had only had four sessions together, but the rapport was such a good fit. “Hi Dr. Picani, I’m alright. I saw a dog on my way here.”

The therapist gasped, “Was it adorable?”

“Aren’t all dogs?” Patton posed. They both started laughing.

Dr. Picani sighed in relief. “So, what are your threes?”

“Well, the dog I met today. There was also a new display in the bookstore. The last one is that the rose bush in our yard bloomed the last bud.” Patton sighed dreamily, he had taken to tending to the yards since he had the time on his hands. He wasn’t very experienced, but the last rosebud blooming helped boost his confidence.

The therapist couldn’t stop smiling. “Would you like to explore those, or would you like to talk about something else?”

“Well,” Patton squirmed, “Kinda both? I noticed something when thinking about the rose bush.”

“Alright, I’m listening.” Picani grabbed his pencil and notepad.

“In February, when I was at my low point, I had told myself that springtime’s promises of new hope were lies. I had messed up something I loved, I had thrown away two years of sobriety, I mean,” he tried to correct himself. His last session they had worked on the reminder that relapse is a part of recovery. It just meant he had a new goal to reach, and did not discount the proof that he was capable. “That’s what I had thought.”

“When I was in high school, the only reason I tried to push through my struggles in winter was that lovely reminder that I was one day closer to Spring’s Promise,” he smiled to himself, “I’d get to see the flowers bloom.”

“I see,” the therapist nodded, “So the rose budding was a reminder that you had survived another cold winter?”

“Yes!” Patton exclaimed. It was nice to have a therapist who understood him this well.

Dr. Picani scribbled some notes on his pad, then looked up at Patton. “What was this spring’s specific promise? What made you think that this year the promise was a lie?”

Patton looked down at his lap. He had trouble finding the words he needed, and the doctor waited patiently. “I suppose...well I suppose this year the promise was that I was one step closer to, to, well…” Patton rubbed his face and chuckled nervously, “Sorry, I don’t know why I can’t say it.”

“It’s okay, Patton,” Dr. Picani assured softly, “You are safe here.”

Patton nodded. He was safe. He was safe, and he was okay, and he was alive. “That was the promise.”

All the man across from him could muster was an eyebrow raise.

“The promise was I would be safe. I would be secure. Secure in my relationship, in my job, in my sobriety- the promise of this spring was that I was safe. Then…” he trailed off, tears starting to form when the bad feelings in his chest started to resurface when he thought about it. He took the box of tissues Dr. Picani offered. “Thank you. Then I made one mistake and all of that safety was thrown away. The worst part is that I was the one who did the throwing.”

Dr. Picani nodded, adding some more notes on his pad. “Have you ever heard of self-sabotage?”

Patton scoffed, “Yeah, it’s probably the most popular phrase in rehab centers.”

“Hm. Do you know why that is?” Patton shook his head no, so the doctor elaborated, “A lot of people with addictions tend to self sabotage. When someone who gets the life they had always dreamed of, well they tend to have doubts about whether they really deserve it. Does that sound familiar to you?”

Patton nodded, starting to make connections, “So when the doubt comes in, it can be easy to blow one small bad thing into something huge?” He asked.

“Exactly! So when an inevitable, minor miscommunication happens, it can reaffirm that doubt. What is your first instinct when you feel afraid?”

Patton scrunched his eyebrows in deep thought. What was his first reaction? Obviously he ran away, but that was his first action. What was his first response when afraid?

“Hide. I want to hide, and I want to escape. I want to avoid it,” he answered.

“Why is that, do you think?” the therapist tapped his pencil against his chin in thought.

“Hm. I guess because it’s less painful. Drinking was my escape for a while...but then it didn’t last. It just caused more pain.” Patton looked the doctor in the eyes. “Is that why I ran from Logan that day?”

“I don’t know, you tell me,” the other man responded, in classic therapist fashion.

Patton laughed a bit at that trope. Shaking the thought out of his head, he focused back on answering the question. “It is. I wanted to hide from the pain of our first real fight.”

Patton felt a release off of his shoulders when he made the confession. Realizing that the promise of spring was never broken, it was just delayed. He had been seeking security in all of the wrong places. He felt the final piece of the puzzle fall into place. Spring’s promise had been kept.

He came home right after Logan. Without hesitance he pounced onto his love and planted a kiss on the man’s lips. He held the man in his arms and felt the roots from autumn continue to grow beneath them. He was no longer scared of ruining it all. He felt secure in himself to be able to handle whatever challenges came his way.

Logan pulled back, a puzzled smile on his face, “It’s nice to see you too, Sunshine. What was that for though?”

Patton laughed and wrapped his arms around Logan. “I feel safe with you. Thank you for being my constant. Today I realized you’re as steady and eternal as the stars,” He planted another kiss, “Hm, maybe that’s why I call you my Starlight.”

Logan smirked against his lips. “I hate to break it to you, but the light of the stars we see are probably a result of the distance the light traveled. Some believe the stars we see have actually died.”

Patton giggled and playfully slapped Logan’s shoulder. “Shut up and let me be romantic.”

They kissed once more, smiling the whole time.

525,600 Minutes

August was almost over. Logan was very aware of what day it was for him and Patton. He couldn’t stop pacing in the living room while he waited for Patton to return from work. He had everything set up just right. There were candles flickering in the living room with the lights dimmed. He had gotten over his fears of what he had planned, mostly.

He and Patton had never fully discussed what his ring meant. At the time, it was meant to be an engagement ring. The reasoning being a bit extreme for Logan, and the fallout after, made him hesitant to accept an engagement. He still wore the ring on his neck. It was a reminder. It was a promise. He never took it off, up until that moment.

He was still pacing when Patton walked in. Patton’s brown eyes widened in astonishment at the setup. “Logan, Starlight, this is-this is magical.”

Logan cleared his throat nervously, and adjusted his glasses. “I uh, I have something I need to tell you. Let us sit on the couch?”

Patton nodded and sat down obediently. Logan wanted to sit, but he decided at the last minute it was better to stand and pace. It helped bring his thoughts together. “Patton, on this day last year I took a chance. I kissed you, and I have kissed you many times since.”

Patton nodded, “Yeah, that’s kind of what boyfriends do.”

Logan blushed, and stopped pacing to look at Patton. Looking at Patton, his lover, his light, his everything. If he had doubts before, he didn’t then. Patton’s curls in the candlelight made him see more clearly than he had a year prior. What was only mere suspicion was now a proven fact. He was ready.

Logan hesitantly, slowly knelt before Patton. A gasp escaped from the lips of the angel. The angel that was once a mystery. His beautiful, wonderful Sunshine. “In December, when you ran, I wasn’t ready. After we rejoined in February, you weren’t ready. Neither was I, truth be told. However, now I see you. You’re thriving. You’re shining brighter every day.”

Logan pulled his ring, the ring Patton had given him, out of his pocket and put it on his own ring finger.

Patton had tears streaming down his face. Rivers covering the freckles on his face. “It- it fits now?”

Logan nodded. “I had it resized, the same day I purchased this,” he pulled a ring box out of his other pocket. It was identical to the one he had received all those months ago from Patton.

Patton covered his mouth to quiet his happy sobs. Logan cleared his throat once more. He wanted to speak clearly. “You said one year ago that my affection was a rare honor that I had given to you. Would you be so kind as to return that honor, and marry me?”

Logan opened the ring box, showing a ring nearly identical to his. However, the sapphires were replaced with yellow topaz. Patton wiped the tears from his eyes, revealing a smile. He reached for the box to pull out the ring. He put it up to read the inscription.

“My Sunshine.” they spoke in unison.

Patton put the ring on, “How did you know to get the right size?” he asked.

Logan chuckled. “I had figured that you used your own finger as a measurement for mine.” They shared a laugh before Logan hesitantly asked, “So is this a…?”

Patton launched himself at Logan, knocking him over so they ended up tangled on the floor. Logan let out a grunt of surprise that seemed quiet compared to Patton’s scream of “Yes! Yes, yes, yes my Starlight!”

They embraced, laying on the floor in the candle light. They kissed each other all over. The two, Logan and Patton, the lights of the stars and the sun, had finally seen each other clearly.

They both laid there, staring at their hands, both wearing their matching rings. A fitting finale to their first seasons of love, and a fitting beginning to the rest of their years together.

Let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist of any of my ships!

#logicality #logicality fic #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #Mama Cesa writes #suicide mention #self deprecation #anxiety #alcoholism #arguing #one piece fic #oneshot #over 15k words

[fangirlxwritesx67]

May Be Home, Chapter 3 Word count this chapter: 1800 Catch up here: Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Characters: au rockstar!Dean Winchester x OFC Sasha Song: Sounds of Someday, Radio Company Music

Tags: 18+, sex, smut, lots and lots of m/f sex in different ways (fingering, oral, penetrative) in different places (bed, table, car, shower), no condoms ever, enthusiastic consent, Daddy kink, language, lots of alcohol, sexy eating, etc

Sasha luxuriated in sleeping ridiculously late the next morning. Her dreams had been full of Dean. She had thoroughly enjoyed last night, but it left her wanting more.

She slipped her hand between her legs, figuring she could enjoy a little morning treat. She ran the memories of last night back through her mind, remembering Dean’s hands on her body and the taste of his lips on hers. Soon, she was breathing hard, sinking deep into her memories and fantasies.

Then the phone rang, and Sasha answered breathlessly. She immediately recognized Dean’s low, sleepy voice.

“Hey, sweetheart. How do you feel about pancakes?”

Had he really woken up thinking about her? Sasha was caught off guard and only managed to stammer out, “Yes.”

“Yes to pancakes?“ Dean chuckled. “Well, come on over. Oh, and I wanna see what you slept in.”

Sasha took a quick shower and applied a little bit of makeup before slipping back into her patterned yoga pants and white tank top. She was self-conscious about the way the yoga pants hugged her thick thighs and the slight swell of her stomach; she hadn't planned for Dean to see her this way. But she would do what he asked. 

When Sasha knocked on the door, Dean swung it open eagerly. He was shirtless and wearing gym shorts slung low over his hips. Sasha’s gaze was drawn to the sleeve of tattoos that covered his left arm, starting at his collarbone and spreading down to his elbow and over his ribs. She knew he had ink, but she had never seen it all. Dean grinned and pulled her in close. She ran her fingers lightly over the patterns on his skin.

"Like what you see, sweetheart?" he drawled with a suggestive lift of his eyebrows.

Sasha nodded, looking up into his face as he lowered his mouth and kissed her. He tasted like pancake syrup and coffee. She hummed and let her lips fall open against his. Dean kissed her like she was the only woman in the world. He kissed her until she was breathless. 

Dean pulled back and looked at Sasha, a happy grin curling his lips.

"Come on, we can't let breakfast get cold.

He took her hand and led her to the table, where it looked like he had ordered most of the room service breakfast menu

"I didn't know what you liked, so..." He shrugged. 

Sasha giggled. "Any of it would've been fine, thank you. But I see you took all the pancakes."

"That's okay, we can share." 

Dean sat down and pulled her on top of him. She braced herself, not quite giving in to his embrace. With one strong arm, Dean scooped up her legs so she was completely resting on his lap. He slid the other arm around her waist. Sasha relaxed into his grasp, wrapping one arm loosely around his shoulders. 

Dean used his free hand to fork up a bite of syrup-drenched pancake. He offered the first one to Sasha before taking the next one for himself. She thought the third bite, naturally, would be for her, but Dean took it at the last minute. 

Sasha pouted just a little and leaned into him, pressing her full breasts against his bare chest. "Dean," she said. "It's not nice to tease." 

"Oh, you mean like you're teasing me right now?"

Dean brought one hand up and dragged his palm across her breasts. Under the thin fabric of her white tank top, Sasha's nipples instantly grew hard. She felt a rush of wet arousal between her legs.

Dean pulled his hand away from her body and picked up a piece of bacon off his plate. He ate half of it in one big bite, and then fed the rest to her. Sasha made sure to lick his fingertips when she took it from him. Dean ran his thumb over his full lower lip. It was a ridiculously suggestive gesture, and Sasha shivered just a little. 

Dean fixed his gaze on her, wolfish and hungry. 

"Wow, baby girl," he said."You're soakin' wet. I can feel you all the way through to my leg." 

Sasha answered, "You do that to me, Dean."

He grabbed her face and kissed her, and she wrapped both arms around his neck. Dean slipped his hands around her waist, up under her tank top. He pulled it up over her head, only breaking contact with her mouth for a moment, and her breasts tumbled free. 

Dean cupped them in his hands, pushing them up and together. 

"Oh, yeah, come to Daddy," he murmured, before burying his face in her ample cleavage. 

He turned to take one nipple between his lips, licking and sucking until Sasha moaned. She ground her hips down on his lap, feeling him hard and thick between her legs.

Dean reached behind Sasha and, with one long arm, shoved everything to one side of the table. He patted the newly clear space in front of him. 

"Hop up here, sweetheart," he commanded.

Sasha obeyed him.

With swift, sure motions, Dean pulled down her yoga pants and panties, running his warm palms over her legs, caressing her skin. He slid his hands up between her knees and pushed her thighs apart. 

Sasha drew in a quick breath. She leaned back, bracing herself on her elbows. She vaguely heard dishes crash as Dean lifted her legs and placed one knee on each shoulder.

"Oh, fuck," he breathed. “You're so wet!" Dean leaned his face in and tasted her, licking quickly turning to swirling and sucking and - Sasha didn't even know - she couldn't separate one touch from another, but his mouth on her felt incredibly good. 

She had woken up aroused, been interrupted by Dean's phone call, and had been nothing but turned on by him since. She was ready to get off, but Dean was taking his time. 

Every time she got close, he backed off, slowed his touch. She was breathing hard, squirming in his grasp as her whole body wound tighter and tighter with desire. 

"Please, Dean, please." She gasped. 

He worked her faster with his tongue and then pressed the knuckles of his first two fingers into her, hard. The extra pressure was all it took for Sasha to come. She whined through gritted teeth as she unwound in a rush of pleasure on Dean's face. He worked her through her orgasm with steady pressure, continuing to lick her until she relaxed. 

When Sasha's eyes fluttered open, she saw Dean looking up at her. His pupils were wide, his entire body tense with desire.

"Can you stand up?" he asked.

After a moment, she nodded and slipped down to her feet. 

With firm hands on her waist, Dean spun her around to face the table and bent her over. He slipped off his own shorts while he commanded,  "Spread your legs for me, pretty girl." Sasha obeyed. She braced her arms on the table, pushing more plates onto the floor, but she didn't stop to care. 

Dean guided his thick cock against her. Sasha tipped her hips up and leaned back to meet him. With one smooth motion of his strong thighs, Dean thrust into her and didn't stop until she had taken his full length. 

He fucked her hard, slowly at first and then faster. Her panting gasps turned into moans. Dean's breath was quick.

He leaned over her and growled in her ear, "Come for me, baby. Be a good girl and come for Daddy."

He used his hand to tilt her hips up further, so he could drive in even deeper. That angle pushed her right over the edge. 

Sasha screamed, a low open scream, as Dean pounded another orgasm out of her. Her hips were still shaking when he came with a loud sigh, catching himself on his forearms before he fell on top of her. 

They both lay still, breathing hard, basking in the aftershocks of their pleasure. 

Dean’s mouth was next to Sasha’s ear. “How do you like that, sweetheart?” He murmured. In response, Sasha could only sigh. 

Dean stood up and pulled Sasha up, turning her to face him. Her knees were shaky and she slipped her arms around his neck. “You're such a good girl, going crazy for me like that,” he praised her.

Sasha smiled, still riding the high of back to back orgasms. "Dean, I can't help it. You're so good, you make me crazy."

That was what Dean wanted to hear, and a cocky grin crossed his face before he covered her face and neck with warm kisses. For just a moment, he held her. Sasha enjoying being in his embrace, his sweaty skin against hers. Then he let her go and handed her the clothing. 

"Go back to your room," he told her. "Clean up and get something to eat, get some rest. I'll call for you later."

Sasha did what Dean said, going through the motions of showering and eating, but she couldn't rest. She laid back on her comfortable bed with her mind was racing. 

Being with Dean Winchester had been incredible. Every single thing they had done together was better than the last, and, if Dean kept his word, they weren't done. Just being noticed by him, being this close to him, was the stuff of dreams. The fact that he was actually amazing in person, and seemed to love giving pleasure as much as he loved taking it, was a bonus. 

Still, it felt hollow. She loved Dean, felt like she had seen glimpses of his soul in his music. But he didn’t love her, he didn’t even know her. It was unfair, but it was the reality of being with a star like Dean. He had called her endearments like “baby girl” and “sweetheart”- but did he even know her name? For Sasha, being here to please Dean wasn’t enough. She didn't expect to be treated like his girlfriend or to have him all to herself. But she wanted to be more than just a pretty face and available body.

Sasha wanted, no deserved,  to be known. She had been special enough to catch his eye in the first place. She would show him just how memorable she could be. She would give what he wanted but she would get what she wanted too. She would make him see her.

.... Chapter 4 soon ...

@thoughtslikeaminefield Thanks for the beta read, the banner,and everything!

SPN First Last and Always: @dawnie1988, @fookinghelljensensthighs, @idreamofplaid , @onethirstyunicorn , @the-chocolate-moose , @there-must-be-a-lock , @tloveswriting

Dean Curious: @adoptdontshoppets, @deangirl7695 , @divadinag​ @flamencodiva , @wayward-gypsy

[flourchildwrites]

Seconds

Call their predicament fate or karma; blame it on the moonlight or the romantic music playing during the movie's wedding scene. Whatever forces were at work, the opportunity was there for Rebecca and Jean, ready and ripe for the taking. The only question that remained was if she was hungry enough for seconds in spite of the complications.

It was going to be a very interesting vacation.

Written for @fmasecretsanta2019 for @areyousanta

Fandom:  Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types  

Relationship/Pairing:  Rebecca Catalina/Jean Havoc, Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang, Lan Fan/Ling Yao

Genre:  Modern AU, Cruise Ship Vacation, Night After the One Night Stand

Rating:  Teen And Up Audiences (contains suggestive sexual references)

Word Count:  2,288 words

Read on AO3

Carnival’s newest attraction, the Mardi Gras, was a ridiculous boat, at least in the opinion of one, Rebecca Catalina.

The cruise ship’s towering atrium featured floor to ceiling windows that courted nearly panoramic waterway views.  Numerous restaurants dotted the ship map; their descriptions were laced with four dollar words such as “fragrant,” “authentic” or “sumptuous” that made Rebecca’s mouth water.  And if the ginormous pool on the lido deck was not enough, there was always the wonderland dubbed the “Ultimate Playground” stuck awkwardly on the back of the ship to consider.  The colorful tracks of the world’s first rollercoaster at sea cut through the thick, humid breeze, and on the first day of the cruise, the line to ride the attraction stretched around the deck.

The atmosphere oozed excess. It was just the sort of laissez-faire ambiance that Riza Hawkeye shied away from.  It was the precise brand of absurdity that her wealthy grandfather would choose to celebrate her college graduation.  Not that he had been invited, and in this respect, Riza and Rebecca’s vacation mimicked Riza’s upbringing.  George Grumman generously financed it, but ever-faithful Becca was left to weather the changeable tides alongside her best friend.

Not all waters had been as navigable as those of the murky Mississippi River.  

“Enjoying the view?”

Rebecca startled at the sound of Riza’s voice.  She grounded her thoughts in the here and now, honing in on the small talk circulating around the dinner table.  Her dark, wing-lined eyes darted away from the windows of the formal dining room and toward the beaming face of her best friend.  Riza Hawkeye looked happy; if not for the three-course meal they’d just devoured, for the new company at their table — her long-distance boyfriend, Roy Mustang and his tagalong pal, Jean Havoc.

But where Jean was concerned, Rebecca had her reasons for reticence.  Reasons she was not apt to share with Riza during this vacation, a trip that was supposed to be all about her best friend and not Becca’s bedroom faux pas.

She simply wouldn’t think about how she had foolishly spent the night with Jean before they’d remet as travel companions of Roy and Riza that morning.  Rebecca wouldn’t think about the lip-biting set of abs hiding underneath his well-pressed button-down.  She tried not to notice the way she caught Jean’s baby-blue eyes darting away from her over dinner.  By all accounts, their night together had been meant as a fun, casual encounter, but the next day’s harsh revelation had complicated matters.

He’d said he was on a business trip when He caught her eye in the hotel bar the night before departure, and Rebecca had not questioned him further.  Not when his sweet talk was so saccharine and the rough stubble on his chin had felt so good on her-

“Are you feeling alright, Rebecca?” Riza asked; her lightly penciled eyebrows were knit with concern underneath stylish round glasses.

“Yes, sorry!’ Rebecca replied happily.  Too happily, perhaps. “I’m absolutely fine. Wonderful even.”

She was not fine, let alone wonderful.  She was scared shit-less of being called out by the elephant at their dinner table.  A very attractive, extremely capable elephant with who had played her body like a fiddle. His brash melody was stuck on a loop in her mind.

Rebecca watched as Jean licked a bit of chocolate mousse from his spoon, and she suppressed an indignant eye-roll.  The least he could do was be less like sex appeal on a stick.  He could pretend not to know that he tied her stomach into knots, courtesy of their shared secret.  But given the way those baby-blues bore into her, nevermind that she refused to meet his gaze, Rebecca realized that they’d have to talk about it.

The sooner, the better.

God, she hated being 23 sometimes.  Young enough to take some disastrous missteps in good faith but too old to run away from her problems.

“So Catalina, how about we take a walk to clear your mind,” Jean purred. “Get to know each other a little better while these two catch up.  What do you say?”

A sinking feeling settled into the pit of Rebecca’s stomach, and it turned over on itself when she spied Riza’s hopeful expression.

The things she did for the love of a friend.

“Sounds like a great idea,” Rebecca uttered; her words sounded stiff as they slipped through her burgundy lips. “I’m gonna make a stop by the bar before we leave.”

She rose from their table with her room key clutched firmly in the palm of her hand.  Even as her gaze lingered upon Roy and Riza’s intertwined fingers, she bid them good evening and walked across the dining room to the mahogany bar at the far end of the large room.  Through a stilted smile, Rebecca ordered another glass of cabernet sauvignon, urging the bartender to be generous as the long shadow of Jean Havoc crept over her shoulder.

If the previous night had taught Rebecca anything, it was that Havoc was a livewire, energetic and unpredictable when he allowed his passions to overpower his common sense.  But the chilly night air on the lido deck appeared to temper Jean’s demeanor.  Quietly, he sat back against the sturdy frame of a ship deck chair with the top three buttons of his shirt undone and his hands leisurely placed on the back of his head.  The spiky ends of his hair caught the humid breeze as he stared back at Rebecca with a lazy, contemplative smile.  His patience offered no inroad, but neither did it discourage a conversation.

Rebecca got the message loud and clear — she would have to bring it up, or they would simply sit outside for the remainder of the evening watching Crazy Rich Ishvalans play across a large screen over the pool.

She took yet another sip of wine and placed the stemmed glass on the table between their lawn chairs.  After adjusting the hem of her green maxi dress, Rebecca swung her sandal-clad feet upon the lower slats of her deck chair.  A long, slow sigh escaped her throat, and she, ever brazen, decided to jump headfirst into uncharted territory.

“I think it goes without saying that we should not mention what happened last night to Riza or Roy,” she announced. “Still, I think it would be beneficial for us to talk privately since I have some questions.”

“Don’t worry, Catalina.  I don’t kiss and tell,” he said with an amused air. “But now that you mention it, I might have some questions too.  Ladies first.”

Rebecca attempted to organize her thoughts by level of importance.  But her wounded pride, a part of her that resented she’d been lied to, spoke up first.

“You said you were in New Orleans on business,” she stressed. “This cruise doesn’t seem like business to me.”

Jean shrugged his shoulders, turning his head to look at her.

“I thought work provided a better excuse to make a clean break, and honestly, I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

His tone shifted, tending toward a playful vibe. “I know we agreed to keep it casual, but who’s to say you wouldn’t have fallen madly in love with me and tried to follow me onto the ship if you had known.”

Rebecca’s left eyebrow arched incredulously even as her lips quirked with suppressed laughter.

“Does that happen to you often?” She quipped.

“No,” Jean chuckled. “I don’t do that sort of thing anymore.  Not since I got injured three years ago. Consider last night an exception.”

“That’s right,” Rebecca hummed, “you used to be a Marine.  Jealous boyfriend catch up to you and made you change your ways?”

“Nah,” he said, still in good humor, “it was a bullet.  But enough about me; my turn.  Do you do one night stands often, Catalina?  Am I just another person in a long line of notches on your bedpost?”

She tipped the glass of wine to her lips and drank, mindful that Jean was giving as good as he had gotten. “I don’t think we’ve had near enough alcohol for that question.”

And this, she meant wholeheartedly.

“But, to give you a direct answer, no,” Rebecca admitted. “I’ve been too busy with my MBA program to go out, much less date.  Last night was…”

She didn’t want to parrot his words, though certainly, their time together had been ‘an exception.’ Phrases swam in her wine-drenched mind; none were suitable.  Last night had been many things, satisfying and unexpected, to say the least.  But to sum it up in a single word...

“Needed,” Jean added. His eyes stayed fixed on a dark point in the distance, between the blanket of stars and the cloak of dark water. “For both of us, I think.”

It was impossible to get a read on him.  Rebecca was left to marvel at the way Jean had coaxed the answer straight from her subconscious.  Speechless, she could only nod and hum her agreement as her fingers fidgeted with the straps of her sandals.  She scanned the lido deck, looking for some sight to redirect a conversation that had gone too far, too fast for her liking.

Small groups and couples, not unlike Jean and herself, dotted the layout.  Some watched the movie, transfixed by the hilarity of a makeover montage featuring the film’s gruffest character, Buccaneer.  Others simply sat engrossed in quiet conversation and after dinner drinks.

A pair of young Xingese kids, probably high school-aged, caught Rebecca’s eye. They sat on the edge of the deck with their legs dangling into a large pool at the center.  A boy with slender, slanting eyes reached down into the water and brought his hand up, playfully splashing the girl next to him.  She laughed in response, running a prosthetic hand through her hair and clearing the water from her heart-shaped face.  And in the blink of an eye, she pulled him into the water.

The scene read like young love and are Becca watched as a childhood crush matured into something meaningful right before her eyes.  The teens chased each other through the pool and moved as if they were two halves of the same whole, different as could be and complementary down to their core.  When finally the girl caught the boy, she pinned her arms around him against the side of the deck. He laughed, brushing her bangs from her face.  The apples of her cheeks turned cherry red.

“Do you see them?” Rebecca asked, nodding subtly in the direction of the pair. “What I wouldn’t give to go back to that age knowing what I know now.”

“And what would you do differently?” Jean asked.

She told herself that he was only indulging her to be polite, but still, Rebecca answered.  Sour memories of her high school regrets were slow to be forgotten, and the question was quickly answered.

“I cared too much about what others thought,” she explained. “Spent hours trying to make my hair straighter or attempting to do my makeup the same way.  I swapped band for cheerleading and junk food for gym classes.  The only thing I never compromised on was having Riza as a best friend, and sometimes I’m afraid that the pressure I put on myself to conform rubbed off on her during difficult times.”

So much for keeping the conversation light.

“I used to be like that,” Jean admitted.

“You cared too much about what other people thought?”

“No, I regretted past stuff so much that I forgot to live in the present.”

Rebecca was surprised by his candor, and she turned to face him, unsure if she should end the conversation or listen to further insights.  Before she could give her course of action a second thought, Jean sat up, and, to Rebecca’s continued shock, he pulled at his side of his shirt.  The action revealed a patch of puckered skin, red and raised, in the shape of a crater.  Jean pointed to the modest scar on his side.

“It looks small, doesn’t it?” he said. “But that bullet nearly cost me everything.  Took me a year to walk again, and the doctors say my long term prognosis involves a wheelchair, but I can’t dwell on any of the what-ifs.  I have to take the good stuff life offers me while I can seize it.”

Rebecca couldn’t help herself.  She had to ask, needed to know why this theory of his, contrived as it might be, struck a chord.

“And what is life offering you right now?”

The question might have been bait — this much Rebecca was willing to admit.  Call their predicament fate or karma; blame it on the moonlight or the romantic music playing during the wedding scene of the movie.  Whatever forces were at work, the opportunity was there, ready and ripe for the taking.

All they had to do was seize it.  Bottle the spark that cracked between them if only for a handful of nights at sea.

Jean leaned in and tucked a lock of curly hair behind Rebecca’s ear.

“I know we agreed not to let it happen again, but I get the feeling life is offering me a second helping of what I had last night.”

It was her turn to flash a knowing grin.

“I never said the first time was the last.  I just don’t think we should let it complicate Riza and Roy’s vacation.”

“Well then,” Jean whispered.  His hot breath curled around the curve of her ear, sending shivers down her spine. “Are you hungry for seconds?”

For the second time in as many days, Rebecca/SelfRestraint.exe failed to run properly.  Fortunately, Rebecca/ThinkingTooMuch.exe was also compromised.

“Starving,” she replied.

A/N:  Surprise, @areyousanta! I am your back up gift giver for the FMA Secret Santa 2019.  I heard you like Havolina, Royai and Lingfan, so I tried to tie those ships into this modern AU. However, I admit, this one-shot is primarily fluffy (and suggestive) Havolina. The struggle to keep this fic PG-13 was real, and I'm not sure that flourchildwrites/goodjudgment.exe was functioning properly, lol. As always, I really appreciate all the kudos, bookmarks, subscriptions, comments, likes and reblogs my readers generously provide. Don't be a stranger and check out my tumblr, @flourchildwrites. Send me questions, comments or whatever else may be on your mind.

#fmasecretsanta2019 #fma #havolina #royai #lingfan #jean havoc #rebecca catalina #modern setting #alternate universe #cruises #night after the one night stand #sexually suggestive references

[writemywaytoyourheart]

One → Two

a/n: guess who finally got a laptop mofos? when I say that this fic has given me grief.....I am in no way exaggerating,,,, but, the past is behind us! let’s just enjoy it now 😅 pls...I seriously hope y’all like this. technically it’s still Friday for some people ;) and I promise that the story will get better as we go along.

Pairing: Hoseok x Female Reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Warnings for this chapter: Mentions of alcohol consumption, a creeper dude, emotional abuse, insinuations of past sexual abuse, insinuations of self harm, language.

Word count: 3.7k

Trigger Warning: if you are easily triggered by this type of stuff, pls don't read it. I have some fluff on my account, you should enjoy that instead! Here's a link to my other works → BTS ML

Tag list: @melikeylikeyjimin

If you wanna be on the tag list, send me an ask or dm :)

Daisies in the Dark Masterlist

All stories have a beginning and all stories have an end.

But, how does one know where to start a story? And maybe, sometimes we don't want to know the end; since unfortunately, not all stories have a good finish. Perhaps we'd like to leave it unfinished and rewrite it in our minds, because all humans want a happy ending.

You're still reading so I guess you'd like to see for yourself how this story goes.

Have you ever heard the story of how the sun fell in love with the moon?

No?

Well, you're about to...

And I can't promise you that it's going to go the way you'd like.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

3 yrs before the incident

One more chance. I'll give her one more chance, you thought as you grit your teeth, watching your once best friend in the lunch line chatting it up with the annoying girl from history class.

Your breath caught in your throat when your former bff Lena made eye contact with you from across the cafeteria after filling her lunch tray. A small smile went to find it's way onto your face when Lena's eye contact lingered, but it was gone in a matter of seconds when she just twitched an eyebrow and sauntered off to sit at a table across the room; the conversation between Lena and her new bestie continuing as if nothing had happened.

So it was true, she'd left you for someone else. Like you were worth nothing more to that girl than a tissue; use it once and throw it away. Not a very good comparison at the time, but that's all you could think of as you watched them sit down; you were worth no more than a small used tissue.

Figures...

Your hands started to twitch awkwardly not knowing what to do with themselves now and you stared at the lasagna on your lunch tray; if you could even call it that–all it was was a lump of overcooked noodles drenched in sauce the color of a burnt tomato with who knows what posing as the ground beef, covered in a crispy layer of cheese.

You definitely weren't hungry, but staring at the sad excuse for lunch in front of you and contemplating life as nothing more than a wisp of a tissue floating through the air, not knowing where it might end up–was better than watching Lena start a new chapter without you.

It didn't make sense, you were best friends...weren't you? Guess it didn't matter now, since a friendship takes two people to make it work, and seeing as one was currently occupied elsewhere, you would have to make do with what you had, which was...a depressed piece of lasagna staring at you from it's home on the untouched tray. You poked at it with your fork and looked at it-thinking. Then you whispered to the disheartening meal,

"Oh well...at least you're not gonna leave me for that annoying- what was her name? I don't even know, but who cares, right?"

Then you suddenly realized what you were doing and looked up quickly in embarrassment, afraid someone had seen you. But the regular drone of kids talking, shouting and laughing was the same as always. Of course no one had noticed, because you were invisible.

And you were talking to a piece of lasagna.

Highschool was great....

You were a senior this year, at seventeen. At least this was the last year of hell, then you could do whatever you wanted. You had a lot of things you wanted to do and places to travel to, maybe you couldn't do them all but you'd be damned if you didn't at least try.

But one thing was for sure, you couldn't just sit there and stare at that fake lasagna pretending like Lena wasn't betraying you right across the room. So you got up and brought your uneaten food to the window where kids leave their empty lunch trays and put your tray down, but kept the small carton of chocolate milk. Then headed out of the cafeteria to spend the rest of your lunchbreak in the library. You fiddled with the unopened milk carton and mumbled to yourself while you walked,

"It's fine, I don't need her anyway."

Just numb the pain.

That wasn't the first or the last time.

-

-

2 yrs before the incident

"Uhhh, ya know what little missy? I think if you give me twenty-five percent off everything, maybe we could come to a compromise?"

This man......was going to die in a minute if he kept going on like this.

You tried your hardest not to just scream at this pervert to leave and say you wouldn't do a damn thing for him. You just settled for licking your dry lips while he started to smirk at you. He brought his hand up to rest against the counter, then started to slowly tap his fingers. You made eye contact with him and said sternly, "I'm sorry sir, but I can't do that."

"What if I give you my phone number? And we'll make it fifteen percent..." He tried again, not once breaking eye contact with you.

"Excuse me sir-"

"Yes, doll?"

"Do you have a coupon?"

"No, I don't bu-"

"Then no, we can't move the price down at all, would you like to pay the full price or leave sir?" You stared him dead in the eyes, this creep, you thought angrily, how dare he call me that? I hope he just leaves, I don't care if he doesn't buy anything. The man leaned over the cash register, "hmm, this isn't very good customer service. Maybe I won't come back." Please don't, you thought, but instead of saying that you settled for, "it's not about customer service, this is store policy, I'm sorry sir but I can't do anything."

"Ya know what? I like it when you call me sir- you say that a lot to me....what's a pretty little lady like you doing working in a rundown grocery store, hm? What about college? You're what, eighteen? If you'd like, I can give you my number and you won't have to worry about this job, I'll take care of you." He smirked and arched an eyebrow at you from the other side of the counter.

It was probably a good thing there was a big cash register between the two of you, since you weren't sure what would've happened if you had free range. By now your brain was just blurry and you saw nothing but blackness because of the fury settling inside. What a disgusting man. You didn't care if you got fired, you were gonna teach him a lesson or two about trying to get young girls to do stuff for him in exchange for money. You leaned forward which made him lean back in surprise, then you said loud enough for the other people in line to hear,

"If you do not pay the full price right here right now, then leave. If you think I'm looking for a sugar daddy then you are sadly mistaken. You have enough money to pay for a girl's life in exchange for your own personal services, so you have enough to pay the full thirty five dollars. There are people waiting behind you so make up your mind now, sir." You said the last word mockingly and raised an eyebrow at him in defiance. The man's eyes grew in shock, then he glared at you but he didn't say a word as he threw forty bucks in your direction, grabbed his bags and stomped out of the store.

You took a deep breath and smiled at the next customer who cautiously came forward with their items.

-

The second you stepped through the door after working a twelve hour shift you slumped against the wall and yanked your sneakers off; dropping them to the floor carelessly. The apartment was dark so you assumed your mom wasn't home- probably out drinking away her troubles again. Walking into the kitchen, you sighed at the sink full of dirty dishes, and the counters that were no better. The smell wasn't too bad, probably because your nose was used to it by now. You walked to a cupboard and rummaged around until you found a sleeve of saltine crackers. After that you grabbed the softened butter and a knife and walked to your room; stepping over and around the miscellaneous junk spread throughout the apartment.

After about an hour of sitting on your bed, scrolling through your phone and munching on what your dinner was that night, you heard the door open and what you could only assume was your mother stumble inside. Your mother's heels clacked against the hard floor by the door, then a heavier pair of footsteps could be heard with them. You sighed deeply, but stayed as quiet as you could. Not again, you thought miserably. Just, please just go do whatever you're gonna do and leave me alone, you prayed silently squeezing your eyes shut.

There was a lot of stumbling and cursing and your chest was tight with anxiety, scared that at any moment they would drunkenly come into your room by accident. Eventually, your mother's bedroom door slammed shut and you let out the breath you had been holding. Thank you God, thank you, you clasped your hands and shook them, then carefully and as quietly as you could, you set the remaining crackers and butter on your nightstand. Then you shifted in bed to lie on your left side and tried to make sure the bed didn't creak at your movements– cringing a little when it squeaked a bit. It was gonna be alright, he–whoever he was, didn't know you were in the house.

You closed your eyes and tried to ignore the lingering feeling on your skin, even though it had been over a year since the last time. You stuffed your hands over your ears, willing yourself to sleep despite whatever was going on on the other side of the wall.

-

Morning came all too soon, and with it a massive pounding headache from the lack of sleep. You groaned when the sun hit your eyes and made the darkness an annoying shade of orangey red from behind your eyelids, your brain in a fog from the tiny bit of sleep you were able to get even though it was plagued by nightmares. Then you suddenly snapped awake and shot up in bed, grabbing your chest and feeling all around yourself frantically, breathing a sigh of relief when you felt your shirt still on your body. You were okay, it was just another nightmare. You tried to steady your breathing while taking deep breaths in and blowing them out slowly. Then you looked towards the door and cupped a hand by your ear; listening intently. After a minute or two of silence that didn't really prove anything, you sighed and swung your legs out of bed- planting your feet on the floor despite laundry being scattered everywhere. Sneaking towards the door you put an ear to it then slowly turned the knob. Normally you wouldn't even be risking going out of the safety of your room but you really had to pee, you would just have to be quick.

You scurried quietly to the bathroom and when you were finished you were on your way back when your mom's door swung open. You flinched and wrung your hands keeping your eyes downcast, too afraid to look up. But then you sighed in relief when it was only your mother that pushed past you to go to the bathroom. You decided to risk it and peeked into your mom's bedroom. A weight lifted off your chest at the sight of the empty bed–he must have left earlier.

-

"Aren't you supposed to be working or something? Why're you just sitting around reading?" Your mother scoffed at you from the doorway, after slamming your bedroom door open to confront you.

You set your book down–not ready for another fight, "they gave me today off, I'm back on the schedule tomorrow." Your mother just glared at you and crossed her arms, "oh, so you think we can afford to have you lying around, taking days off? Lazy ass." With that she turned and slammed the door shut, leaving you to sit there and scold your heart to stop hurting, because it just wasn't worth it.

You don't need her Y/n...

Just numb the pain.

So that's what you did.

-

-

1 1/2 yrs before the incident

You walked into the apartment after three classes in a row; each one being about two hours long. You dropped your backpack by the door with a thud then changed your mind and picked it up again, not wanting another fight when someone tripped over it in their drunken state. You decided just putting it in your room would be best. 

Canned vegetables with canned chicken really wasn't too bad if one could figure out the right stuff to put in it. After years of this, you had discovered your favorite seasonings and you were mixing yourself up a nice concoction for lunch before going to work, humming and talking to yourself as you did so–when there was loud pounding on the front door.

You weren't very alarmed, knowing exactly who it was, and so you opened the door and stepped aside as your mother staggered in, thankfully alone. Turning to look at you, your mother's eyes were a bit glassy as she spoke, "is there any food around here or do I have to do all the work for that too?" She wasn't drunk, but she wasn't too far away from it. You didn't say anything and just walked to the kitchen, took your lunch and handed it to your mother.

"I just made this for you, thought you'd be home soon."

Your mom just snatched it away and walked to her room calling over her shoulder, "almost nineteen years old and all you can do is make a half-assed meal for the woman that gave up everything for your lazy ass."

You just grabbed your bag and put your shoes on, trying to ignore the insistent hunger pangs in your stomach, then walked out the door for work.

-

"Y/n? May I speak with you please?" It was the next day and you were just leaving the history classroom when your professor called you over. Your grades were far from satisfactory, but you really did try. You walked over to Professor Kim's (who also happened to teach your Korean class as well) desk and tried not to hang your head, since you knew what was coming. She was a nice lady, but could also be strict at times.

"Y/n, I'm going to get straight to the point. I heard that you wanted to travel to South Korea. We both know you're struggling a bit in the academic department, but I know you're a good girl, and you speak Korean pretty well."

You looked up, utterly confused, this wasn't about you almost failing history class? Professor Kim just smiled and continued, "there is a scholarship program to go and stay in Seoul for a year, learning Korean and going to the university there. I thought you might be interested in it."

You were so shocked you couldn't speak for a full minute, just stuttering out nonsense until Professor Kim laughed and put her hand on your shoulder. Then she handed you a packet, telling you to fill it out and give it back to her as soon as possible.

This couldn't be happening. Good things didn't happen to you. Could this actually be your escape?

You thanked Professor Kim over and over then scurried out of the room before anything else could be said and possibly destroy this amazing opportunity. As you left there was a new lift to your step.

-

Two weeks had passed and no word from the scholarship people. You turned nineteen in those two weeks, but that didn't mean much to you. All you could think about was the scholarship. Things at home didn't change, they never did. Until one day when you were heading home from work, completely exhausted, and you saw the mailman at the front door knocking. You ran up the steps but your mother opened the door right when you got there. You said hello to the man and took the mail from him, being our to thank him. When you turned to go inside, your mother snatched all the mail from you and stalked off. You followed her cautiously, "uh, may I see that? I think I might have gotten something." Your mother turned and glared at you then spat, "and what could you have gotten in the mail? You don't even have friends, and the bills are in my name." You tried not to roll your eyes, even though the bills were in your mother's name, she wasn't the one paying them.

Scanning through the envelopes, your mother stopped when she saw one with the name Y/n Y/l/n on the front. She turned and looked at you accusingly, "what is this?" Before you had time to even process what you were doing you snatched the envelope out of her hands and dashed around her, running to your room. You shut the door and locked it, hearing the woman outside screaming horrible accusations and threats at you but not caring a single bit. The envelope was white–super white actually, almost looking unnatural. Your fingers shook as you gently tore it open, running a finger carefully along the top so you could pull the letter out. The paper inside was just as bright, and the bold black lettering stood out.

Your breathing hitched, was this actually happening? A second scan over the letter and a quick yet painful pinch to the arm confirmed that, yes, this was actually happening. Your hands trembled as you slowly pulled your phone out of your pocket and carefully typed in the number printed on the paper. The sounds of your mother screaming outside the door and hitting it, the cars outside, your own heart pounding in your ears- it all faded away to a dull thudding when you heared the ringing through the phone, once, twice, you held your breath, three rings in, four......click

"Hello? This is Jill Dunning, how can I help you?"

"H-hello? I- I was told to call you."

"Are you Y/n Y/l/n, by any chance?"

You cleared your throat nervously, then took a deep breath before answering.

"Yes, I am."

-

1 month later 

The flight there was extremely long and tiring so by the time you were getting off; you could’ve cried tears of joy, having felt like the plane ride really was going to last forever and you’d never step on solid ground again. But there you were; standing in the middle of the Seoul airport, completely and utterly free.

Not to mention, completely and utterly lost.

You looked around but couldn’t see anything other than a lot of people rushing around; businessmen and women, families with little children that stared at you with wide eyes, college students; and yet not a single soul that looked like they might help you find who you were looking for. You shifted your heavy backpack and decided to walk a bit, maybe you could find where the luggage came through and you could at least collect the rest of your bags. After you walked for another minute you saw a sign with a suitcase on it, hanging from the ceiling with an arrow pointing down. You hurried over to where it was pointing and saw a giant metal thing with suitcases going around on it, people looking at tags and grabbing them before hurrying off again. 

You walked over briskly and just in time too, because your two suitcases had just come around the bend in the giant machine. You double checked the tags and after confirming they were yours, you heaved them off the machine and caught your breath after setting them next to you. Then you had to figure out where you were and where your roommate, who was to be picking you up, was. You went to the name of your roommate in your contacts and pressed it before you held your phone to your ear. After one ring, the sweet voice of your roommate answered in Korean.

“Hello? Y/n?”

“Hey Eui, I just got here and I’m so lost. I just got my bags.”

“I’m so sorry Y/n! I’ll be there in less than five minutes. Traffic was awful, but I’m walking into the airport now. Just stay by the baggage area, ok?”

”Ok, thanks Eui.”

You had talked to her on the phone many times over the past four weeks and you really liked her, you couldn’t wait to meet in person. You hung up and looked around, watching everyone else go about their days; rushing to catch flights, leisurely browsing the shops in the airport, then you heard an excited squeal and turned to see a girl running and jumping into the arms of a boy who you assumed was her boyfriend. You just smiled and kept looking around- trying not to think about how badly you wished that was you.

“Y/n?”

You turned at the sound of Eui’s voice and smiled widely when she approached you with open arms. Eui wrapped her arms around you and then pulled away, still smiling, “welcome to Seoul, are you ready to start over?” That had to be the best sentence you ever heard in your life. You smiled back at her and grabbed one of your suitcases while Eui grabbed the other one.

“Definitely.”

And you were; a new place, a new school, a friendly face, and no people from your past. It was time to start over and let things go, because life just got a whole lot easier.

You had no idea that whether you liked it or not, your past would continue to haunt you, no matter how many miles away you ran.

“Let’s go.”

Preview → Next

#bts #bts fluff #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts angst #bts reactions #bts x reader #bts x you #bts jhope #bts fanfic #bts hoseok fluff scenario #bangtan sonyeondan #bts angst imagine #bts angst scenario #bts fic #bts jung hoseok #bts x y/n #jhope fluff #hoseok x y/n #bts ot7 #hoseok fluff #bts hoseok #hoseok x you #hoseok x reader #hoseok fanfiction #hoseok angst #jung hoseok #jhope #daisies in the dark

[nialledfromfics]

Every Part of You

Chapter 2

*warnings: detailed descriptions of abuse and mention of drug usage*

She hadn’t moved. Not for at least ten minutes and the taxi driver had begun to grow impatient, obnoxiously urging her to get out of the car. Lola inhaled sharply and held it in her lungs, her eyes falling to her lap as she quietly pulled out the stolen wad of Niall’s money and carefully counted out exactly what she owed to the taxi driver. Handing it over to him, she stuffed the rest back down into her bag and her stare slid over to peer out of the car window. Lola's stomach was already in twisting knots as her gaze focused on the old, rundown row house that she called home. If that was what anyone could call it.

The front steps were nearly gone, the concrete crumbling like sand and the house itself practically condemned by lack of upkeep. Blowing out a deep sigh, she sensed movement from the corner of her eye and glanced to the window that was next to the front door, catching a pair of eyes that were staring at her through the broken blinds. They locked with hers for a split second before being ripped away, the blinds snapping shut. Lola winced, her eyelids pinching closed for a moment under her sunglasses in attempt to hold back the frightened feelings that were begging to surface as she reluctantly opened her car door.

A shuddering breath ripped past her lips and she politely thanked the driver and stepped out. With her bare feet hitting the cold dirty sidewalk, Lola swung the car door shut and before she could even take another step, the car sped away, her head whipping over her shoulder to watch the tail lights quickly disappear. Swallowing down the heaviness that was swelling in her throat, she eased her way up the dilapidated steps, her reservations about going through that front door not unusual for her but as she reached out to grab at the handle, the door hastily swung open. A bearish hand thrust out towards her, Lola gasping as it grabbed around her upper arm and roughly yanked her inside the house.

Thrown against the front door as it was slammed closed, her back hit it with a low thud, small yelps etching from her throat as a sweaty half dressed man pushed his face flush into hers. His hand squeezed unbearably tight around her upper arm and Lola whimpered from the pain as the dark in his eyes grew fiercer by the second. “Where in the bloody hell have you been?” he barked out at her, his breath reeking of cheap alcohol and stale cigarettes.

Lola went to speak up, her lips parting to answer when she felt the piercing sting of his hand across her cheek, the same cheek that bared the start of a scab on her healing cut, and her face flung to the side from the harsh impact. “Where the fuck ya been all damn night? Answer me, ya fuckin’ slut!”

He continued to scream at her, Lola afraid to move, to speak, to do anything but hold back her tears because she knew that was the one thing he hated the most. Reaching up to caress her abused cheek, the soft skin was burning under the pads of her shaking fingers and the man’s brow furrowed deeper as he watched her. Pining her harder into the plane of the door, he knocked her sunglasses off with the back of his hand and his head cocked back as he peered over her face, battered and bruised and, miraculously, not given by him.

Lola could feel the sting of his fingers as they dug deeper into the maimed skin of her arm. “Better have me fuckin’ money, bitch...” he growled, his jaw clenching as he spoke.

She fought to keep her chin from trembling and slowly nodded at him as she reached into her bag to pull out the rest of the crumpled money. Pushing it to his chest, his eyes snapped down to her hand. “Here, Kings, take it…it’s all I got.”

Licking across his lips, he let go of her arm and snatched the money from her hand, peering down as he began to count it. “£164?” he rumbled out to her, flicking his dark furious eyes to hers once more. “That’s it? You been out all fuckin’ night, what the fuck ya doin’, eh? Givin’ ‘em a fuckin’ discount for beatin’ up me merchandise?”

Rolling her eyes closed at his complete lack of concern, Lola faintly shook her head and went to step past him, Kings swiftly grabbing around her chin and pushing her up against the door once again. Her head slammed back into the wood, her big brown eyes locked heavily on his as he inched himself right infront of her face. “Don’t be out all fuckin’ night again unless you comin’ home with a full fuckin’ stack, ya hear me?”

Feeling him harshly slam his mouth to hers, Lola squeezed her eyes closed and wiggled under the press of his body, her hands flying up to his shoulders in attempt to push him off. Kings let out a sick-inducing laugh as he backed away, the sound causing Lola to exhale sharply and grab at the front of her stomach. “Worthless cunt,” he mumbled as he turned and stumbled past the narrow staircase into the kitchen, his fist clutching the money.

Lola stood against the door for a moment, swallowing back the wretch that was bubbling in her tummy before she carefully slid her eyes to her left, seeing the solomon faces of two other girls standing in the open doorway of the living room. Their eyes, free from anything resembling happiness, both locked on Lola’s and not one of them said a word before Lola hugged her bag to her chest and began to make her way up the small creaky staircase.

Rounding the top of the wobbly banister, she bolted down the short hallway into her tiny bedroom, slamming the door shut behind her. She threw herself down onto the bed, pressing her face into the uncovered mattress and finally let the frustrated, and downright frightened, tears flow from her swollen eyes. Lola let her cries faintly peter out; her cheeks wet and the dingy mattress under her drenched as she slowly turned her face and brought her hand up to slip across her damp and reddened cheek. As her touch delicately brushed over her skin, she was quickly reminded of how soft and gentle Niall had touched her the night before, and that one simple thought made her sob even harder, the tears once again coming at full force.

She had thought that she had almost made it out, but deep in the back of her mind, she knew she could never really be free. Never really free of the life she was living or where she was, not like she truly wanted to be.

Lola laid there for awhile, quiet and letting her cries subside and her body give in to her over tiredness, until she fell into a dreamless sleep, the buzz of her small table side fan helping to coax her along. She had been resting for some time before she heard the boom of Kings’ voice call to her from the bottom of the stairs, the dismaying sound wakening her from her slumber. “Lola!” he yelled, her head lifting straight up off the mattress, “Get that arse down ‘ere! Don’t even fuckin’ think you gettin’ a night off or some shit.”

Groaning out loud as she carefully hoisted her body up, she sat on the edge of the bed, her eyes peering down at the newly formed purple bruise that was wrapped around her arm when she heard his voice call out to her one last time. “Get your arse back to work!”

Lola stood up, slowly shedding herself of her previous night's attire as she took a small glance in her half cracked mirror that was barely hanging on the wall next to her clothes rack. She could see the years of damage that covered her skin and she gingerly swept her fingertips across her naked body, rippling over the distinct marks of pain and scars of a forced job that she detested, and she was unsure as to how anyone would ever be able to look at her in the one single way she had always dreamed of. Letting out a deep sigh, she bit at her dry bottom lip as she quickly began to rummage through a pile of clothes, pulling out another skin tight dress. It slipped easily over Lola’s tiny frame, and she quickly threw on a pair of heels and fluffed up her naturally wavy dark hair before settling in closer to the mirror to put on her nightly routine of makeup.

Making sure to cover her black eye and cut as well as she could, she finished up and forced a smile at herself in the mirror before grabbing her bag from off her bed and slinging it over her shoulder. She could hear her stomach rumbling as she quietly walked down the stairs, it being nearly 4pm and her not having eaten at all since the day before and Lola quietly made her way into the kitchen, determined to grab a little something to eat before she left for the night. Her eyes caught sight of the two other girls, already dressed for the evening and shuffling around in the kitchen and she stepped in, ignoring Kings as he sat at the small table and used, what Lola could only assume was, a stolen credit card to divide up a few equal lines of a very distinct white powder. She quickly maneuvered past his chair over to the the fridge and opened it, Kings snorting two lines of the powder before throwing his head back and peering over at Lola, who was bent over staring at the practically empty shelves.

“You're gettin’ too fat,” he commented to her, sniffing as he swiped under his nose, “stop fuckin’ eatin’ so damn much...”

Slowly peeking over at him as he lit up a cigarette, Lola stood back up and eased the door closed, the hunger pains coming in waves now but she knew not to push her limit. She turned around and grabbed a glass from the countertop, deciding to resort to a bit of water instead as she stepped over to the sink. One of the other girls slid over next to her, their backs facing Kings and without saying a word, the girl carefully stuffed a single chocolate bar into Lola’s bag. Lola felt the gentle tug on the strap as the girl did this and Lola glanced over at her, giving her a thankful smile.

“For later,” the girl mouthed to Lola, the very corner of her painted lip tugging up. Lola gave her a faint nod before taking a huge swig of water and setting the empty glass in the sink. She spun around and expanded her chest in a deep breath. “Okay, I’m leaving,” she remarked out loud, not making any eye contact with Kings as she went to walk out of the kitchen.

Reaching out to grab her wrist as she shuffled past, Kings’ fingers dug into her already bruised flesh and Lola stumbled back, her eyes shooting down to stare at the blood-shot rims of his. “Don’t try to fuckin’ sneak off this time, ya hear me?” he roughly snapped at her, yanking her down towards him so that his mouth was skimming at her ear and making her heart jump in her chest, “And don’t fuckin’ forget who ya belong to.”

Ripping her arm from his grasp, Lola choked back a breath as she rushed out of the house, slamming the front door closed behind her. The air was cool; hitting her exposed skin and causing a barrage of goosebumps to ripple over her body but Lola shook them away, carefully stepping down the uneven steps and onto the sidewalk. She walked for a few blocks, her bag clung tight to her side and her eyes mostly kept down to the ground. This part of London wasn’t really known for its posh shops and expensive homes, this part of London was known for its variety of illicit drugs and violent gangs and while there was a bit of redeveloping going on, it still didn’t change the people that already lived there or who they were.

Lola’s heels clicked along the concrete as she kept a steady pace, rounding a few more city blocks before heading her way to her normal spot. The sun had started to set behind the rise of the rundown buildings and as Lola’s eyes settled on the crumbling brick walls and litter-lined streets, her mind instantly started to drift back to Niall. How handsome and smart he had looked that previous night, how sweet and caring he was to her. How beautiful his flat was and how easy his world seemed to be and slowly Lola began to daydream; what it would be like to live like that, to be with someone who could treat her in the only way she had ever wanted. Someone who respected her and loved her, someone who could see past the person she was forced to be–

A muffled ringing from her bag startled Lola, yanking her straight from her thoughts and back into the loud screaming reality that she was standing in. Letting out a huff, she shoved her hand down in her bag to grab her phone, pulling it out to reveal an unknown number across the small screen. Her brows knitted and she hesitated for a moment, never sure who could be on the other end of her phone when it rang, before answering it and slowly putting it up to her ear.

“Hello?”

“Are ya alright?” the voice asked, the accent and timbre clear to Lola exactly who it was and she breathed out a sigh of relief as her eyes rolled to the side.

“Niall…”

He let out a short chuckle and Lola could feel her body start to untense just from that single sound. “How ya doin’, Lola? You left me house quite early this morn…”

Scraping her teeth across her plump bottom lip, she crossed her arm over her chest as she dropped her stare to the ground. “Yeah...yeah, I’m sorry about that I–”

“No worries…” Niall assured her, “just...needed to make sure you were okay.”

The words put a smile on Lola’s face and she peeked up at the few people that were buzzing past her, almost as if she was waiting for someone to catch her showing a bit of happiness. “I’m okay,” she finally replied to him, “Actually, I didn’t think I was gonna hear from you again…”

He playfully scoffed. “Why’s that? You left me your number...”

“I know,” Lola said with a giggle, stepping over to the edge of the curb to sit down, “I just didn’t actually think you’d call.” Her bare knees tucked up into her chest, and setting her bag down next to her, she reached in to search for the chocolate bar.

She heard Niall let out a small laugh. “Well, I wanted to see if you were busy today,” he started, Lola’s eyes fluttering as she took a huge bite of the sugary goodness, the snack quickly calming the tight hunger cramps of her starving stomach. “Thought maybe we could hang out, chill….maybe go get some dinner–”

She nearly choked on her chocolate bar when he said this, Lola’s hand clasping to her chest. Niall chuckled on the other end of the phone. “You, um, you okay?”

“Um, yeah…” she sputtered out, “you, um, mean like a...date?”

She could hear the smile as it formed on Niall’s face. “Yeah, sure.”

“You wanna go on a date with me?!” Lola squeaked, half shocked and half embarrassed and she pressed her fingers to her lips as she realized how her words came out. Niall let out another laugh at the innocence in her voice.

“Yeah, I wanna take ya out on a date, Lola,” he said in a charming little tone, “is that so hard to believe?”

Dropping her forehead into her hand, she gave him a tiny scoff under her breath. “A little, yeah.”

Niall softly chuckled again. “So, you down then? I can come ‘round and pick ya up, if ya want…” Lola hesitated for a moment, lifting her face to let her big brown eyes scan down the other side of the sidewalk where she was sat. Her stare flicked from one boarded up and closed shop beside her to the gathering of a few drunkards stumbling out of a pub on the other side and she quickly thought that if Kings ever found out about this, and she didn't come home with a decent amount of cash, she wouldn’t make it to see the next day.

The sound of cars whizzing past her and a few local kids fighting on the opposite side of the street started to fill her ears, her heart thumping faster when she heard the sweet sing song of his voice, “Lola?” and the sound made her practically melt into the cold concrete beneath her. Her gut was flashing a warning to her but her heart, and every other part of her, was urging her to say yes.

Swallowing hard, Lola took the last tiny bite of her chocolate bar and tossed the trash to the ground next to her feet. “Yes, okay,” she told Niall as she quietly chewed, “I’m at the corner of Wicklow Street.”

“I’ll be there in thirty minutes, don’t go anywhere.”

“I won’t.”

Niall hung up the phone, Lola sliding it from her ear and stuffing it back down into her bag. Clasping her hands by her bent knees, her teeth lightly sunk down into her bottom lip and her stare began to wander all along the city streets around her. Her fingers were curling tight into her fists and her palms were clamming up as she shakily caught the eyes of several people as they walked by, Lola completely unsure as to what this night was going to bring her. She had never really gone on a date with a guy before, not a real date by her standards, and she was really starting to second guess her decision.

Not that she didn’t like Niall, he was probably the nicest person she had ever met, but the prospect of him wanting to know things about her, finding out her past and who she really was, that made a nervous sick start to sit heavy in Lola’s stomach. But then the flash of his face shot through her mind, the softness of how he touched her cheek and the way he smiled at her, and all the questioning Lola had just begun to do, seemed way less important.

She sat in that same spot for a little longer, not moving an inch and trying to keep her head down and her attention on anything but the strangers around her until Niall finally showed up, his nearly brand new Jaguar standing out like a sore thumb on that particular street. Lola swiftly jumped up to her feet as he pulled in, Niall leaning over the passenger seat to push open the door for her.

Her eyes hadn’t yet met his as she hurriedly climbed into his car, Lola pulling her bag into her lap as she settled in and closed the door. The familiarity of sinking down into that cool leather seat once more made a smile pull at her lips and she slowly turned to glance at him. Niall was already staring at her, his blue eyes fixated on her face and Lola couldn’t help but take in how he was dressed compared to her. He looked rather conservative; a pair of slim black jeans and a short sleeved white linen shirt with a grey paddy cap covering his dark hair. Lola pulled in a breath and shot her eyes down to her own attire; her tight barely there dress that amply showed off her breasts and a pair of strappy six inch heels and she knocked her knees closed as she struggled to tug down at the thin material that hugged her upper thighs.

Niall breathed out a chuckle as he watched her and shifted the gear out of park, “You look beautiful,” he told her as he drove off, not even bothering to start the conversation with a hello. The blood rushed to Lola’s cheeks, not ever hearing compliments as such and she genuinely smiled at him, tucking her glossed bottom lip into her mouth.

After driving for a good fifteen minutes, Niall decided to take Lola to this nice little restaurant he often liked to go to in downtown London after Lola had mentioned that she was starving and had only eaten a chocolate bar in the past two days. Niall couldn’t believe that she had gone so long without some decent food in her and she shrugged off his light concern as they pulled up to the valet out front of the restaurant. The usher opened Lola’s door, Niall hopping out of his side and handing them his keys before leading Lola inside. Keeping her face down, she crossed her arms over her chest in attempt to cover herself up and wordlessly followed Niall, not a eye being caught by her as he chatted with the owner, who then quickly seated them.

Lola tried to fight the grin on her face as Niall pulled out her chair for her to sit, his blue eyes not leaving hers as he sat down across from her and yanked off his hat. Lola’s eyes shot up to see the fluffiness of his soft brown hair, her mind wondering for a moment what it would feel like sliding between her fingers and if she tugged on it hard enough, what kind of sounds he would make. Niall noticed her staring and lightly chuckled as he ran a hand through the front ends of his fringe, breaking Lola of her indecent thoughts. After Niall had ordered a bottle of wine, Lola scanned her eyes over the impressive menu, unsure what would be appropriate for her to get and not wanting to seem greedy and she glanced up at Niall over the top of the menu, a smirk tugging at his lips. “You can order whatever you want,” he told her as if he was reading her mind, his brows raising a bit.

Pinching her mouth to the side, she dropped her stare back to the words in front of her, the nerves once again starting to plague her and make her feel a bit weird. Lola knew she didn’t want to overstep Niall’s sincerity with her and she feared something as little as ordering the wrong thing would send him away. Still sensing her reservation, Niall peered at Lola as she read over the menu, her teeth scraping along her bottom lip as her dark hair cascaded down her one shoulder and he leaned in closer, his voice lowering. “This is a date, Lola,” he assured her, catching her stare for a moment, “I wanna make sure ya have a good time, so please, order whatever ya want.”

Pulling in a breath, Lola slapped the menu closed just as the waiter walked over to take their order. “Steak, medium rare with roasted veggies, a salad with dressing and….bread. I’d like some bread. With butter. Thank you.” Lola handed the waiter the menu and stuffed her hands down in her lap as she peeked over at Niall, a huge smile on his face.

Looking up at the waiter, Niall handed him his closed menu and pointed over at Lola. “I’ll have the same.”

Lola giggled, her face tucking down as her shoulders rounded in the soft noise. Niall ran his tongue across his lips as he watched her, his forearms laying across the edge of the table and Lola slowly lifted her face back up and grabbed her wine glass to take a small sip. “So,” she started, wanting to keep the conversation going as much as she could to savor every ounce of that amazing voice of his, “what do you do for, like, work? You seem to have a lot of money...”

Taking a sip of his wine, Niall smiled around the rim of the glass at Lola’s candidness before setting it down and licking the aromatic remnants off his lips. “I’m an investor,” he began, his hand coming up to lightly scratch through his trimmed beard, “and...well, my family is pretty well off, so that helps.”

“What does that mean, an investor?”

Sucking in a breath, Niall rolled his lips into his mouth as he gathered his thoughts. “Well, basically I invest money in companies that are just startin’ out. Hopefully, they are good investments and then when they begin to make money, I get a percentage of it.”

Lola crinkled her brow a bit, tilting her head to the side. “So, you just give these people your money....to, like, start a business, like a bank or something?”

Niall’s head ticked back and forth. “Eh...kinda. It’s a bit more complicated than that.”

Biting at her lip, Lola took a second to comprehend what he was saying. “Fuck, how much money do you have?”

Niall burst out a laugh, his head hanging down and shaking back and forth. “It’s not really my personal money, Lola, it’s my companies money. Actually it’s my family’s company. I’ve just moved out here to London a couple years ago to expand our clientele.”

“You’re from Ireland, right?”

“Yup,” Niall concurred, taking another drink of his wine, her eyes watching as he gently circled the glass on the white tablecloth after he set it down, “a small town called Mullingar. But our company is based in Dublin. We are one of the biggest investing firms based out of Ireland, in fact.”

Lola’s eyes slowly drifted back over to Niall as he continued telling her about his family and his hobbies, every single word entrancing her even deeper and causing a warmth to fill every fiber of her body. He was talking to her, looking at her and laughing with her. He seemed happy to be there with her, excited and intrigued and Lola couldn’t do anything but feel herself soaking up every single bit of attention he was showing her. She wasn’t sure when she would experience that again.

“So how about you? Where are you from?” Niall asked, Lola stumbling over her thoughts and glancing up just as their food arrived. She danced in her seat, Niall breathing out a snicker at her cuteness and Lola immediately began to dig in.

“You said you like to play guitar?” Lola asked him after a couple quiet moments of them eating, her way of trying to change the subject off herself, “So that guitar in your room....you know how to play that?”

Niall’s eyes narrowed a bit at her astute observation, his knife slicing through his steak as he put another piece into his mouth. “I do,” he confirmed, nodding his head.

“You should play for me sometime…” Lola said, pausing as she stared down at her half eaten plate, screaming at herself for even entertaining the idea that there would be any other time than this with Niall. Shooting her eyes up to his, Lola forced a smile and raised a shoulder. “You know...if you want or….whatever.”

A smirk slid over his lips. “I’d love to.”

Breathing out a smile, Lola reached up and tucked some strands of her wavy hair behind her ear, trying her best to ignore the tremendous racket that her heart was giving off in her chest. They continued to chat for the remainder of the meal, Niall trying his best to get some details, any details, out of Lola about herself that he could, but Lola so very coyishly dodging them all. It was a carefree and easy conversation, both of them laughing and sipping their wine and Niall being even more impressed by the fact that Lola had completely wiped her plate of food clean, even going as far as eating three more pieces of bread.

Lola knew it was because he just didn’t understand how long it had really been since she had had an actual meal, especially one that good.

After sharing a decadent dessert that Niall noticed Lola eyeing, she watched as he payed the bill, her stare glued to the black credit card sitting on the little tray as Niall cleared his throat. “Where do you wanna go now?” he asked, Lola’s brown eyes settling on his blue ones. The question took her a bit by surprise, her brows knitting as she chewed on the corner of her mouth in thought. She had been sure that by that point he would’ve already had her back at his place and had himself buried deep inside her, not that she would have protested, but she knew, if anything, she didn’t want to go back home and definitely not without any money in her pocket.

“How about your place?” Lola suggested as the waiter brought Niall’s card back. He glanced at her through the tops of his eyes, noticing the slight plea in her stare as he placed the card back in his wallet and stuffed it into his pants pocket.

Rolling his tongue in his mouth, he nodded his head. “My place it is then.”

The ride back to his was abnormally quiet given their immense conversation at dinner, but Lola knew that was her fault. She kept her stare fixated out of her window, her hands nervously wringing in her lap as she tried to figure out what the hell she was going to do. She already felt terrible for stealing money from Niall once, and she definitely did not want to do that again, but she also knew she could not step foot back in that house empty handed. Kings would kill her.

Niall shot her a smile as they pulled into the parking garage, Lola deciding that she would just hang out at Niall’s for a little while and then leave; her plan to walk around his more classy part of town and see if she could get some business, she was bound to make good money around there.

Lola found herself, once again, following Niall up to his place, watching quietly as he unlocked his front door after they had stepped off the elevator. She was a little more at ease this time when they shuffled into his expansive flat, and she immediately dropped her bag to the coffee table as she beelined towards the huge windows, always caught speechless by the indescribable view they offered. Niall stepped into his kitchen as she did that, his eyes glued to Lola as he poured them both another glass of wine and he couldn’t stop thinking about how absolutely stunning she was, how intriguing and mysterious and the want to know everything he could about her was quickly eating at him. He knew she had been through some rough times, the fresh bruises on her arms were evident of that, and he knew she was from a gritty part of town, but none of that mattered to him, he just wanted to get to know her.

Stepping up behind her, Lola could feel the heat of Niall’s presence and it caused her heart to skip a solid beat in her chest as she turned her head to lock eyes with him. He was smirking at her, encouraging her to take the glass of wine that he had poured and she returned the shy smile as she gently slipped it from his grasp. “This view is incredible, Niall,” Lola told him as she continued to stare out of the window, absorbing the twinkling of the city lights below them as they both took a small taste of the wine.

Niall agreed with a small hum, but unbeknownst to Lola his eyes weren’t set on the view outside, no, his eyes were firmly set on the beautiful and fascinating woman standing next to him. “It’s definitely the most incredible view I’ve seen in a very long time,” he finally whispered out, the strange comment eliciting a breathy snicker from Lola as she flicked her eyes over to him and noticed he was already staring at her. His brow quirked a little and he took another sip of his wine, the tip of his tongue dipping out to lick across his lips as he tucked his free hand down in his front pocket.

Shooting him a bashful smile, Lola shook her head and eased away from the window, walking back into his living area and over to his couch. Placing her wine glass on the coffee table, she plopped herself down onto the soft cushions as Niall followed closely behind, sitting down next to her. “Why did you stop for me?” Lola blurted out, her eyes going wide at herself as she had no real reason as to why she had just sprung that question on him like that.

Niall coughed down his wine before leaning forwards and setting his glass on the table next to Lola’s, his blue eyes flicking to her face and his brow deeply furrowed. “Huh?”

“Last night, in that part of town,” she started, rolling her eyes into her lap, her stare sliding over the smooth skin of her exposed thighs, “I could’ve been bait or something, I could’ve gotten you killed.”

Niall was taken aback by her comment, maybe not even understanding what she really meant by it, but he laughed it off. “What? That’s ridiculous.”

Lola snapped her stare back to his, tilting her head at his dismissiveness as she went to speak up again. “It’s not, Niall. I’m being serious. A rich white guy like you, in that part of town…at 2 o’clock in the morning...easy target,” she warned him, “You shouldn't've stopped for me…”

Niall scoffed as he ran his hand up through his hair, the lines on his forehead spreading as he raised his brows. “If I hadn’t stopped for you, Lola, you could’ve been the one killed.”

“Maybe that’s the way it should’ve been.”

“Don’t say that.”

Puffing out a sigh, she slipped her eyes off of his, tucking her bottom lip in between her teeth. “I’m sorry. I get...lost in my own thoughts sometimes,” she confessed to him, realizing that speaking everything on her mind without thinking was not always the proper way to handle a conversation.

Hearing Niall shift his body a little more towards her, Lola’s stare flicked back to his, seeing that the expression in his face had softened a bit. “Look, I helped ya last night ‘cause I wanted to. ‘Cause sometimes...people just need help, Lola. There was no other intention behind it,” he had begun to explain, Lola’s lips parting slightly as she listened, watching the flow of words as they left his beautifully shaped mouth, “You were beaten, scared….comin’ from...God knows where, walkin’ in the rain in complete darkness...I couldn’t leave ya there. My conscience wouldn’t let me.”

“Your conscience is stupid,” Lola joked with a scoff.

Niall tipped his head to the side with a quirk of his brow. “Maybe, but I still wasn’t gonna leave ya there like that.”

Lola gave him a shy smile. “I appreciate it, I really do. I haven’t, ya know, been shown that much kindness from anyone in a long time.”

Niall pressed his eyes closed, his head dropping for a moment before he peeked back over at her with a narrowed stare. A tiny hint of a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth and caused a little dimple to push into his cheek, something Lola hadn’t noticed before. “I really don’t know what I’m gonna do with ya, Lola,” Niall stated, lightly shaking his head in a chuckle, “you are, without a doubt, the most alluring person I have ever met…and I don’t even know a single thing about ya.”

“I like to stay mysterious,” Lola told him, “works better for everyone.”

Niall’s elbows were resting on his knees, his gaze focused heavily on Lola and, for what seemed like ages, he just stared at her. His blue eyes soaking in the sweetness of her caramel colored skin, the softness of her delicate features and the way her dark hair was falling in wavy tendrils around her face. Lola watched as the dark slowly began to fill his pupils, his cheeks rudding up in a nice shade of pink. And normally that would make her feel uneasy because she knew exactly what that meant, but the way he was looking at her, it was different, way different than anything she was used to. It was making a irrefutable warmth twist in the pit of her tummy, a feeling that she hadn’t felt in so long, she could almost mistake it for sick.

Easing his eyes from hers, Niall subtly cleared his throat, his hand coming up to rub across the back of his neck. “Can I...can I ask ya somethin’?”

Lola inched her stare back to his, hesitance in her voice. “Depends…”

“Can I kiss you?”

She was the one staring at him now, staring intently at this dream of a man sitting next to her who was asking to kiss her, something that never had happened before. His half lidded eyes trailed over hers, watching as a tender smile beckoned across her plump lips and Lola briefly nodded her head. “Yes,” she whispered to him, the light in his eyes changing as the heat slowly started to consume him.

Niall wasted no time, a smirk on his mouth as he leaned into her but he was pushed to a stop by one of Lola’s hands to his chest, his pink lips parting in slight confusion. “But not here,” she explained, her fingers delicately sliding down his covered chest as she stood up. Niall’s brows furrowed slightly in perplexity for a split second until he quickly realized what she meant as she grabbed his hand in hers and lead him into his bedroom. Niall didn’t hesitate, trailing behind her like a lost puppy dog as she turned around and yanked him through the doorway.

His body careened into the front of hers, their stares locking heavy and when she curled her arms up around his neck, Niall took this as an invitation and promptly wrapped his big hands around the small of her waist. Lola set her brown eyes on his, not wanting to even look at anything else as she continued to walk them backwards towards the bed, a smile creeping over Niall’s perfect little lips. Tugging him down towards her with the grip of her hand, Niall carefully tilted his head just so and Lola could feel the wild rhythmic beat of her heart racing in her chest, her throat practically closing up as she anxiously anticipated the feel of his mouth on hers.

Niall’s big hands slowly worked over her lower back, rubbing and pressing her further into his heated body. Lola’s eyelids gently fluttered closed as she felt the brush of Niall’s nose to her cheek and the warmth of his breath seeping past his slightly open lips. Sinking her fingers into the sticky skin of his neck, she held onto him for dear life and her feet stumbled to a stop just as his mouth finally pushed to hers. His lips moved fluidly over hers; their tongues hesitant before hungrily sweeping across as they relished each others taste, mouths nipping and pulling, like a vivacious tidal wave of eager and reckless passion.

Niall felt Lola’s fingertips start to card up through the back of his hair, her grip growing tighter the harder he seemed to kiss her and he curled his hands up the slope of her back just as her legs hit the end of his bed. The impact caused Lola to fall back onto the mattress, Niall toppling down on top of her with a low chuckle that she readily swallowed up, an appeased little grin on her lips. She kissed him more intensely, whimpers barely etching out of her throat and Lola could feel the curious drag of his one hand up the side of her body, Niall’s lips easing off the warm press of hers to explore the taste of her jaw and neck. “You,” Niall huffed out between harsh nips and tender licks to her skin, Lola’s eyes fluttering closed from the prickles of his beard along her throat, “you are so fuckin’ beautiful…”

His one hand slid up the side of her heaving chest, the other cupping her cheek and Lola could feel the heat already growing for Niall between her legs and she silently begged for him to touch her, her satisfaction met when he fully palmed her breast over her dress. Niall continued to slip his tongue along her neck, Lola tipping her head back in reaction as shallow moans slipped past her parted lips. Her fingers latched into his dark hair, almost guiding him along as his body began to gently rock against her.

She couldn’t breathe, the heat sweltering around her as he softly played with her, taking his time to explore her and ease her into whatever it was about to be and Lola quickly shot her eyes open, staring up into the mirrored ceiling. Her gaze settled on the reflection of his thick body slotted between her spread legs and she hooked her arms tighter around his neck, using every power she had to calm her rapid breaths and racing heartbeat. She wanted this, she wanted him.

“You can hurt me,” she burst out, her words broken and hushed, her brown eyes staring up at her own reflection. Lola felt Niall’s movements stall on top of her and he quickly retracted his mouth from her sticky skin. “C’mon,” she gently encouraged him a bit louder before attempting to entice him with a lashing roll of her hips, “just-...just hurt me!”

“What?” he finally gasped out, lifting his body up on his one forearm to stare down at her. His brows were furrowed deep as she locked eyes with him, and Lola slid her fingers from the back of his soft hair.

“Hit me!”

Niall just stared down at her, bewilderment and shock soaring over his face as Lola reached down to her chest and grabbed Niall’s hand, trying to force a slap across her face. Niall instantly yanked his hand back, a heavy breath pushing past his slackened mouth. “Hit me,” Lola continued to coax him, “c’mon...do whatever you want to me, I’ll...I’ll do whatever you want…”

Niall’s wide blue eyes darted fastly over hers, almost unsure if he was even hearing her right. “Why...why would you think I would ever want to do that to you?” Pushing himself up off of her, Lola choked back a shaken breath as he climbed off the bed. She hadn’t expected him to react that way, no one had ever reacted that way.

Popping up on her elbows, she snapped her knees closed and kept her eyes glued to him as he stood at the foot of the bed, his big hands resting on his hips with a stern and, rightfully so, confused look playing over his face. “I’m...I’m just saying that,” Lola sputtered out, swallowing hard as she tried to explain herself, “that I-...whatever you want….whatever you’re into...”

“I don’t even...Jesus Christ, Lola,” Niall said lowly, running his hand up through his hair before his eyes slowly closed and he faintly shook his head. “Why would ya think I’m the kinda guy that would wanna hurt a woman like that?”

Lola’s brows knitted together, her mouth falling open. “I...don’t, I don’t think that about you,” she stammered out, “I was just–”

“I honestly don’t fuckin’ understand you,” he spit out, cutting her off. Lola could feel the tears start to build in her eyes and she flicked her stare away from him, swallowing hard in attempt to ease her embarrassment.

Sniffing back her feelings, she slowly slid her body to the edge of his bed. “I should just go,” she squeaked out, her stare sticking to the white carpet that rested below her feet as she went to lift herself up.

Letting out a sigh, Niall swiftly reached out for her with a gentle hand at her shoulder. “Wait...wait, no,” he told her, his voice low and raspy, but laced with a calmness that caused Lola to pause and carefully glance up at him, “I didn’t-...I’m not tryin’ to make ya feel bad, I’m sorry. I don’t want ya to leave...it just took me by surprise is all. Look, I don’t know if that’s what you’re used to or whatever, but...I’m not like that, Lola.”

Biting at her bottom lip, her fingers curled down into the soft material of his duvet and she gave him a feeble nod, keeping herself quiet. “C’mon, please don’t go, just stay, yeah?” he asked her, the question taking her by surprise as she had been quite sure he was going to kick her out and never speak to her again. “We can just lay here and...sleep. It’s late and all, anyway.”

Lola swallowed hard. “You...you want me to just...sleep...in the bed...with you?”

Knitting his brow, Niall let out a snort. “Yeah...why? You don’t wanna–”

“No, I…” Lola began, rolling her eyes as she paused, “I-...yeah, yeah okay. I’m…just gonna go get my bag.” Backing away a bit, Niall nodded at her and caught her stare as she stood up. He gave her a gentle smile, one that Lola quickly returned and he watched as she carefully stepped out of his bedroom.

Throwing his head back, Niall rubbed his large palms across his face and a meager groan slipped out of his mouth. He felt like a total twat, never having wanted her to feel embarrassed or out of place, but also shocked that she would even suggest such a thing. Dropping his hands to his sides in haste, he turned to stare at his cracked bedroom door, hoping that he didn’t completely scare off this girl that he was so genuinely, and sincerely, interested in. Lola stumbled back out to the lounge, a million things shooting through her head as she grabbed her bag off the table. Reaching in, she pulled her phone out and checked through her texts, her breath holding solid in her chest as she prayed Kings hadn’t been wondering where she was. She didn’t want to leave, she wanted, with everything in her, to stay the night with Niall and Lola quickly let out a sigh of relief upon realizing that Kings had not tried to contact her.

Walking back into Niall’s bedroom, she quietly closed the door behind her, her brown eyes flicking up to see that Niall had shed himself of his clothes and was dressed in just a white t-shirt and a pair of white boxer briefs. She smiled at him, a blush quickly filling her cheeks as he slowly stepped up to her and handed her an extra one of his t-shirts. “Didn’t really know what was appropriate for this kind of sleepover,” he mentioned, fighting off his lopsided smile as Lola broke out into a fit of breathy giggles, “so, I thought ya might be a bit more comfortable changin’ into this.”

Lola thanked him as she took the shirt from his hands and shuffled over to the empty side of the bed. “You can, uh, change in the bathroom if you feel more...comfortable doin’ that. Or I can go...”

She smiled. “It’s okay. I mean, you’ve already seen my tits...”

Niall let out a snort at Lola’s brash comment and she set her phone down on the nightstand and dropped her bag to the floor, hearing the bed jostle a bit as Niall slipped in under the covers on his side. Peering over at him, his stunning blue eyes fixated at her as he tucked his arms up under his head, concentrating on every single movement Lola made. She couldn’t help but think about how surreal all of this seemed, Lola never having just slept with a man before...in a bed...doing nothing but sleeping and she bit down on her lip, never once breaking eye contact with Niall as she began to undress.

She was breathing heavily, unusually so and her pulse was racing as she bent other slightly to slide off her heels. Her dark hair tousled across the side of her face, and Niall sunk his teeth into his bottom lip as he watched her stand back up and slowly slip the straps of her dress down her arms and over her breasts. Letting the tight fabric bunch at her waist, Lola fisted the material at her sides and wiggled her hips, easing it down her soft curves before letting it fall to the floor at her bare feet. Swallowing hard as Niall continued to stare at her, she was vastly aware that she was now standing stark naked in front of him, undergarments of any kind never being a thing she was allowed, but Niall chose to keep his darkened eyes focused tightly on hers. He wasn't staring at her exposed body; he wasn't staring at her fresh purple bruises or the various unmistakable marks or ugly scars she had endured over the years, he was staring at her. Only her. It had to be one of the most sensual moments of Lola's life and she struggled to properly breathe before reaching out and snatching the folded t-shirt off of the bed, slinking the soft clean material down over her bared frame.

The fabric smelled like Niall, his intoxicating scent wafting up as the shirt brushed over her face and she closed her eyes for a moment to deeply inhale as she climbed into the bed next to him, hoping he wouldn’t notice. Lola tucked her small body down under the covers, curling up on her side facing away from him as she was truly unsure of what she should do next and could feel the slight tinge of nerves that wanted to crash through her entire body. Hearing the click of the lamp from Niall’s side of the bed as he switched it off, Lola hugged the pillow to the side of her face before feeling Niall curl up behind her, his strong arm wrapping around her middle to gently pull her up against him. “C’mere,” he whispered, a breath of relief sliding past Lola’s lips as her body settled into his warmth, “definitely ain’t gonna bite ya…”

She faintly giggled at his little joke and let her frame mold into his. Lola could feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, his heart beating fast and then slow and they remained quiet, Lola’s eyes getting used to the darkness of his bedroom. She soon started to drift off to sleep and it didn't take her long; the coziness of his expensive bed and how safe Lola felt in Niall’s arms, something she hadn't experienced in so long, if ever.

Niall nestled his face down into Lola’s dark hair, his eyes fluttering with each solid breath of her that he took in and he could feel her body relaxing against his own as she slipped into a deep sleep. His thumb gently rubbed over her middle, never wanting to go too far up or too far down, but his intent was to make her feel safe, to make her feel like she could trust him. He wanted her to believe him when he said she was beautiful, and Niall wanted Lola to know that she was worthy of more than the hurt she had been experiencing in her life.

Niall shortly followed after Lola, falling into a deep comfortable sleep, and after a few hours, he felt himself awaken by a slight vibrating sound. He let out a muffled grunt and picked his head up off the pillow, his groggy eyes peeling open as he twisted his head over his shoulder. His phone sat silent on his nightstand, but he could still hear the noise of the constant vibration and straining his neck, he peered over Lola’s resting head to see her phone lighting up and shaking against her nightstand as text after text kept coming through.

Niall let out a heavy breath, his mind going rampant as he dropped his head back onto the pillow and carded his big hand through the front of his hair. Silently demanding himself to forget about it, that it wasn’t his business, he tried to ignore it and rolled back over, snuggling up against Lola as he closed his eyes. It lasted about five minutes when he heard her phone vibrate one more time, Niall finally giving in to the really bad feeling that was building up in his gut and he carefully sat himself up just enough to lean over Lola and grab her phone.

The screen illuminated bright in the darkened space of Niall’s room and his eyes quickly read over the last five texts that were showing across the lock screen.

Kings: Lola!

Kings: where r u  fucking slut.. I got people ringing for ya be 

Kings: i got eye everywhere if you dont come home right now, i’ll fuckin find u

Kings: better be bringin home my fuckin money bitch 

Kings: Every fucking cent!

Niall felt his heart plummet as he read over the texts again and again, the severity of what was going on in Lola’s life, quickly becoming more apparent.

#niall #niall horan #niall au #niall fic #niall fanfic #niall horan fanfic #epoy #chapter 2 #really really hope you guys like it #gonna put warnings when need be #hopefully that doesnt scare ppl away #but take a read and let me know what you think! #enjoy!

[taeguboi]

Best Of Me: J-Hope x Reader

Request: Hi!!Can I have a fluffy scenario with Hobi based on their song Best of me. I have been having some serious feelz for this ball of sunshine and idk this song is just idk.

I felt like it’d be suitable to link this to my last J-Hope song request fiction: ‘Oops’ [by Little Mix], so if anyone wants to request another song for a J-Hope fiction to carry it on, it could be like a cute little series haha [or you could request a fic based on a song for any member?] 

‘Best of Me’ is set before ‘Oops’ but can be read afterwards as a flashback or before as a chronological story.

There’s a link marked with an asterisk* fourth paragraph in. If you follow this link for the back story, keep in mind only the confession plus angst and angst-smut outcomes, not the fluff below.

Best Of Me

Fluff [with implied angst] ¦¦ just under 2k words ¦¦ ft. 95 line

What a lovely day. The day is full of sunshine, and that’s not just the weather when Hoseok is in the company of his friends. In fact, they decided the weather was so beautiful today that they should act on a whim and head to the beach.

It took some time getting here, but the 2 hour long bus journey was worth it, even if that meant being stuck in a closed space with y/n. Not to say this in a horrible way of course, but  because of the back story.

Unbeknownst to Jimin and Taehyung, Hoseok and y/n had something of a fling going on, yet never anything serious he guesses. Though it never showed on the surface; they treated each other as they did the other two, and no one became any the wiser, kind of.

There was the occasional teasing however from that one night*, a good several months ago now, that y/n may have had a bit too much alcohol and full on made this confession to Hoseok. The next day, she managed to brush it off so coolly, adamant that it was the booze causing her to talk senseless nonsense. It never left the room that, after the other two boys had made their exit that night, something did indeed happen.

That something led to more somethings; it couldn’t be helped. There was something with y/n that Hoseok needed to be reminded of every now and then. Something that other lovers or one night stands just couldn’t quite do, though he couldn’t put his finger on it.

“Thank you!” y/n says to the man at the ice cream van before making her way over to Hoseok and the boys.

“Really? Strawberry?” Hoseok disapproves teasingly.

“Yeah, why not?” y/n questions, taking the first lick on the sweet dessert.

“Why have something that tastes like fruit when you can have…”

“The greedy bastard’s choice of vanilla and chocolate?” y/n sasses back.

“Hey, don’t knock it til you’ve tried it!” Hoseok protests. “I think you should try some!”

“I’m good thanks” y/n lightly chuckles cutely as the four friends begin to travel down the beach.

“No no no, I insist” Hoseok asserts, forcing his ice cream at y/n’s face, causing it to make a blob on her nose.

“Hey! You are so dead!” she exclaims, ready to chase him as he begins to run away, forcing her ice cream into Taehyung’s hand.

“What about your…?..” Taehyung sighs, not even bothering to finish that question, y/n and Hoseok having long gone.

Jimin and Taehyung simply watch them, grinning, as they run down the beach towards the sea.

“I love how they seem to think it ain’t obvious” Jimin remarks.

“I know right? They’re obviously fucking or something” Taehyung bluntly replies.

“Tae!” Jimin gasps, surprised at the sudden turnaround in the conversation’s appropriateness. 

“What?” the younger innocently asks.

Hoseok and y/n still run across the sandy landscape, completely out of hearing distance from their other friends.

“I think you should get in the ocean to wash that mess off your face!” Hoseok booms, trying to eat his ice cream and out run y/n at the same time.

“No way! I just need a napkin!” y/n protests as Hoseok ultimately drops his ice cream by accident and so rushes back over and towards y/n to swiftly pick her up, heading straight for the ocean. “Hoseok! No!!!”

“Hoseok, yes!” the boy counters, still managing to run with y/n in his hold.

“At least lemme get out of my clothes!” y/n urges through gritted teeth, now speaking with less volume.

“You would want to do that for me, wouldn’t you?” Hoseok teases into her ear.

“Inappropriate!!!” y/n exclaims, volume back up to almost maximum, feeling her feet touch the ground as Hoseok finally puts her down.

Lifting her shirt over her head to reveal half the swimwear she came prepared in, Hoseok finds himself unable to avert his eyes, watching in awe, unsure whether this is the beginning of another one of his less appropriate dreams.

“Problem, Hobi?” she asks, hands firmly on her hips after discarding her shirt.

“Um, n-nope” he stutters, removing his own shirt as a means of distraction, revealing a tanned and toned chest.

“Good” replies y/n, moving onto her shoes and then shorts. “You wouldn’t want me to get the wrong idea now, would you?” she winks.

Shuffling about to remove his own shorts, revealing a pair of trunks, Hoseok doesn’t even care to make a neat pile of his own clothes, set on continuing his mission to get y/n in the ocean.

“Of course not” he smiles, reaching out to pick her up again, but y/n thinks ahead and scoots backwards, out of his reach. “Come on, you look like a dork”

“I didn’t shove ice cream onto my own nose now, did I?” y/n defends, picking up Hoseok’s shirt and using it as the much needed napkin, eliciting a disapproving look from Hoseok.

“Really?” he grunts.

“I thought you loved vanilla” y/n smirks.

“Not on my clothes!”

“Well, oops” she responds in monotone.

“Hmm…”

“What?” she grins.

“Your nose will still be sticky, so… I guess you’ll have to go in after all” grins Hoseok with a shrug, then managing to pick y/n up without her escaping.

“Jung!!!” she screams, legs kicking in the air, knowing her fate if she doesn’t escape.

Meanwhile, Jimin and Taehyung are strolling behind, picking out only y/n’s screams from hers and Hoseok’s conversation.

“Oh no, the last name… That can’t be good” Taehyung tuts, but not without smirking.

“That’s probably not what she’s shouting when we’re not around” Jimin laughs.

“...and you scolded me for being inappropriate?” Taehyung scoffs, finishing his ice cream, holding up y/n’s ice cream to Jimin for them to share, figuring she probably won’t be coming back for it any time soon

“Don’t you dare Hoseok!” y/n still continues to scream, getting nearer and nearer now, almost at the shallow end.

“Look y/n-ah! It’s the sea!” Hoseok squeals, now feeling the more moist sand on his feet, giving him a feeling of anticipation.

Y/n simply screams as Hoseok begins to swing her about as he climbs further and further into the water, meaning that he’s most likely to literally throw her in and is building some momentum.

To her surprise however, after the biggest swing, all Hoseok does is gently lower her into the water, only allowing her lower half to get wet…

*splash!*

...for now.

It takes a moment for y/n to register that Hoseok has full on splashed a load of water at her face, and she just stands there dumb-founded.

Deciding they’d rather not get involved with the water splashing just yet, Jimin and Taehyung take a stroll across the sand, chatting about little things.

“All better” Hoseok smirks at a drenched y/n.

“You’re the worst” she states, fighting back with a splash of water at him in return.

“No I’m not” he smiles, splashing a lighter wave of water over her.

“Nope. I hate you” she huffs, arms folded, head facing away, trying her hardest to not let a grin emerge.

“You don’t” he counters, not without another splash of water at her.

“Right…” she hums uncertainly. “I totally love you and your evil--”

“Who you calling evil?” he interrupts with a nervous laugh, feeling somewhat lightheaded, as though his head were in the clouds.

“You always did interrupt me when you know I’m right” she chuckles, swashing away through the water, maybe or maybe not purposefully splashing water back at Hoseok again.

The conversation goes silent for a few seconds as she wades through the water, appreciating her surroundings; the sun, the sky, people all around having fun… The sounds of her movements increase and that’s when she realizes someone is coming up behind her.

Running away the best she can, Hoseok chases after her playfully, hastily wading through the sea. Y/n glances frequently behind her to see how far ahead she is. Unfortunately for her though, he seems to be running faster than she is, and the glances behind cause her to lose her balance. When she takes half a turn on the last look behind, she steps onto a bumpy object, causing her to her lose her footing, twist, and fall backwards.

A strange feeling overcomes her when she doesn’t feel herself dropping in the water though. Eyes squinted, expecting to have dropped beneath the surface, she hesitantly opens them to find Hoseok’s face right in front of hers. Surely enough, he had caught her and stopped the backwards fall.

She looks up at her friend, placing her arms around his neck to lighten the weight for him to pull her back up into him, and inevitably, intense eye contact is made.

“We’re starting to make a habit of this y/n” Hoseok finally voices.

“Huh?” y/n questions.

“It’s like that time a few months back when you almost fell down the stairs and I was there to save your clumsy ass” he reminds her matter-of-factly, barely an expression of humour in his face despite the phrasing of his words.

“God, don’t remind me; I’m still traumatized” she replies, rolling her eyes.

“Better than still being hospitalised if I hadn’t’ve saved you”

“Right… my hero…” she sarcastically remarks. “Also, it was winter, so the evenings were darker than I was used to; it’s not my fault I couldn’t see the first step… Damn, maybe I am a klutz…” she says to herself, having a something of a small epiphany, only looking down to the waves of the water, yet not finding the will to remove herself from Hoseok’s hold. “I should probably work on that…” she thinks aloud, the self doubt showing on her face, leaving an open silence.

Hoseok gazes at y/n, watching her admire the sea and listening to her tutting to herself, before realizing the potential for this moment with her in his arms to become a bit weird, you know, with them being just friends and all that.

“Don’t change” he abruptly tells her, mouth racing ahead of his mind.

Y/n smiles to herself before looking back up at her friend. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah” he replies. “I don’t want any of my friends changing” he continues, not wanting to come across too strong, or anything close to that at all… He’s still unable to let go of her though, despite already having helped her return her balance.

“Fine… I’ll remain the same old accident prone child you know and love” she chuckles. “Though I’m sure you just like to watch me getting injured or something…”

“Yeah, totally” he says with a tone that renders the words meaningless, gaze still lingering on her face. First her eyes, down her cheeks and then held on the sight of her lips as he runs his tongue subtly across his own bottom lip. Risky it may be with the other nearby, Hoseok cannot help himself and just has to pull y/n in closer to initiate a gentle kiss.

The world around them continues to get on with their day, building sandcastles, swimming and playing volleyball, their laughter resounding across the scene paired perfectly with the soothing waves of the ocean. All forgotten to Hoseok and y/n as she keeps her arms on his shoulders, hands locked behind her neck and lips pressed onto his.

@taeguboi’s Fiction Masterlist

#jhope #j hope #j-hope #hoseok #jung hoseok #bts #beyond the scene #hobi #bts jhope #bts j-hope #bts j hope #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts fiction #bts fan fic #bts fan fiction #bts fluff #bts angst #bts best of me #jhope fic #jhope fanfic #jhope fanfiction #jhope fiction #jhope fan fic #jhope fan fiction #jhope fluff #jhope angst #jhope x reader #jhope x you

[murasakiyuzu]

3 - "Please don't leave" for renkuri (O3O)

girl ur just out for blood arent u ilu

thanks for sending a prompt, angel!

warning for angst and uh semi explicit sex? ¾ explicit? lmao

edit: read on AO3 here!

"Clear... We have to goback."

Ren stands beside Clear, holding anumbrella over his downcast head. The unrelenting rain pounds into the beatendirt of the cemetery, drenches the lawn and glides down the black canopy ofRen's umbrella. It drips copiously onto Ren's shoulder, but he pays it no mind.

It takes one second too long for thehead of fluffy white hair to tilt towards Ren. Clear's hollow gaze leaves thetombstone in front of them, fixing itself on Ren's golden eyes.

Doesn't suit him. To Ren, Clear's eyes were made to glimmer with glee and his lips weremade for the irregular bow of a smile. Every line of his face was sculpted andidealized to stretch around palpable happiness. So it feels like a crime to befaced with the tight, straight line of his pale lips, the quietly roaringdespair in his rosy eyes.

"Where's Aoba-san?" Clearasks, voice barely above a whisper and nearly overpowered by the constant hissof the rain.

A wince flashes across Ren'sfeatures, but it's gone as soon as it appears.

"He's already left with Grannyand everyone else. You and I are the last ones still here."

"Oh..." is Clear's answer,almost a simple exhale.

The boy seems about to go back tostaring blankly at his grandfather's tombstone, and Ren is resigning himself towait for another hour. However, Clear straightens up and smiles at Ren.

This smile is completely wrong, andit's with the impulse of a silent scream that every hair in Ren's body pricklesup in rejection.

"Sorry you had to wait for me, Ren-san."

Ren shakes his head slightly."I stayed out of my own will."

"I see... In that case, thankyou. We should leave now, right?"

"Yeah." Ren turns back andglances in the direction of the cemetery's entrance. The rain seems to fallheavier and heavier by the second, to the point his umbrella is becoming morelike a decorative piece.

"I wonder how long it'll takebefore we get to the bus stop and until the bus actually rides by thisplace," Ren mutters to himself.

"My house is closer. We'll haveto walk a bit more, but we won't need to sit around waiting in drenchedsuits," Clear reasons as he gestures to their ruined attire.

Ren scrutinizes him for longseconds, then nods his assent.

The hem of their pants becomes moremuddied up with each step they take. Even though Ren is almost halfway out ofhis umbrella's cover, it still isn't enough to completely protect Clear fromthe rain—they'reboth broad-shouldered, after all.

It could be enough, if only Renslung an arm around Clear's waist, if he pulled Clear closer to his side. Renwon't do that, though. He lacks the guts, or rather, the certainty that he'llbe able to keep himself together if Clear pushes him away.

Since the moment they met, over fouryears ago, Ren has known he has romantic feelings for Clear. For almost aslong, Ren has also been certain that Clear has eyes only for Aoba. Even whenAoba never responded to his feelings and started dating Koujaku, his love didn'tonce falter. Time and again, he'll throw himself at Aoba's feet, and let himtrample over his one-sided feelings.

Of course, Aoba doesn't have a clue.He'd never be this cruel if he knew, but still, he is. Ren doesn't know if heloves and loathes him for it, but he knows he hates himself for thepossessiveness and egoism clawing at his heart, slithering their way into hisrelationship with Aoba, one he's valued since childhood.

Without asking, Ren knows the painof Clear's unrequited love has become dear to him. In the same way, Ren's pureaffection has turned into bitter resignation, an ever-burning thirst drying histongue as he glances at the wisps of white hair on Clear's flushed-pink neck,the long lines of his neck and collarbones. At every side-long glance Clearthrows Aoba, Ren thinks of shoving him against the nearest wall.

Feelings change. Feelings that growin the dark, distant from one's eye and care, become ugly, wretched.

Beating the mud off the soles oftheir shoes, they slip them off their feet by the entrance and enter Clear'shouse.

"Do you want some hot cocoa?"Clear asks Ren pleasantly, shrugging out of his suit jacket. He's shiveringfrom the cold, and Ren can't say he's much better.

"No, thank you. Don't mindme."

Clear smiles kindly at him. "Imust have some clothes that fit you. Feel free to look into my wardrobe; I'llsee if there's any hot water in the shower."

Ren looks on as Clear throws his jacketon the kitchen counter on his way to the bathroom, and remains rooted in hisspot as the door clicks shut behind Clear. Only when Ren listens to the soundof the shower running does he sigh and turn to the door that he remembers tolead into Clear's bedroom.

It's been at least two years sincethe last time he's been here, and he doesn't think much has changed. DespiteClear's cheerful personality, the room is surprisingly bare, if not for thenumerous glasses and bright knick-knacks sitting on wooden shelves built intothe wall.

Ren walks into the dark room, litonly by the thin strip of light spilling through the crack of the door. Unbothered,Ren undresses himself blindly. Slowly but surely, his eyes get used to thedark, and the outlines of Clear's bed and the curtains draped over his windowetch themselves in his vision.

How many times Clear has touchedhimself in this bed, Ren wonders. How many times he brought himself to thebrink of pleasure, imagining it was Aoba's fingers on him instead. And then,how many times did he cry himself to sleep, knowing it was him alone and it'dbe him alone every time after that.

Ren reaches for a stray piece ofclothing on the corner of the bed; a white dress-shirt. Without thinking toohard on it, he fists both hands into the fabric and crumples it against hisface, letting the dizzyingly sweet scent numb his senses.

So lost he is in the mouth-wateringaroma of citrus and chocolate, Ren never hears the door opening wider and stepsmoving closer. He only catches himself when a warm, undoubtedly naked bodypresses against his own from behind—scorching breath beating on the shell of his ear, chest flush againsthis back, and what he quickly realizes is a hard cock, hot against the curve ofhis ass.

Out of surprise or in a panickedattempt to hide what he's be doing, Ren simply drops the shirt. If Clear hastaken notice of his earlier actions, he says nothing.

Instead, Clear clutches at Ren'swaist, blunts nails sinking into his skin without reserve and rocking his hipsagainst Ren's backside. Fire licks up his spine from that point of contact andRen shudders, growling low in his throat.

No words are said between themovements of Clear's arms twisting Ren around and pushing him into his bed.Even when the neurons in Ren's brain are finally popping back into activity andlanguage is something that makes sense again, Clear harshly bites into his lipsand licks and sucks all traces of a sound mind out of him.

It's in his rosy eyes. Clear'sbeen pushed to the limits of his loneliness, his inadequacy and finally, hisgrief. He doesn't speak of how his grandfather has been the only support he'sknown since birth, his only source of unconditional love and care and now he's goneforever. Clear doesn't speak of how much it hurts, how afraid he is of beingalone, doesn't ask for any consoling words.

Ren knows everything without needingto hear it. He also knows this is Clear trying to assuage his pain by torturinghimself further, and he knows it didn't need to be him here. Through the thick haze of fear and self-hatred in hiseyes, Ren doesn't see himself reflected.

Still, he sprawls his hands on Clear'sshoulder blades like spider webs, trapping him in that bed, embedding his teethin any expense of skin he can reach. Clear's resulting moans warble and distortinto what could be interpreted as either laughter or sobbing. Ren decides hecan be whoever Clear wants him to be now—even Aoba. This will be his only chance to be withhim like this, so he stays quiet.

Clear's skin is glittering withsweat and dotted with red and purple marks when he drops a thin bottle of lubeon Ren's chest. His hazy eyes never lock with Ren's, and he doesn't wait for areaction of any kind before tilting his hips up and sinking dry fingers intohimself. He's whimpering and Ren watches budding tears slipping down Clear's ruddycheeks, trickling onto Ren's chest.

Ren is trembling violently underhim, hands clenching and unclenching, uncertain if he wants to brush thosetears away or make him cry more.

Clear yells out as Ren's cock drillsinto him, and between hoarse moans and the creaking bed springs, it's the mostrampant noise in the room since they started this. However, what followsrattles Ren the most, tearing into the pleasant, mind-numbing fog he's lethimself be drawn into.

"Ren..." Clear sighs, andthe name thins out like the ending notes of an old song.

Ren stops breathing, stops moving.Something snaps in his chest, and traitorous warmth spreads to the rest of hisbody, to his lower and upper members, getting to his head. Like venom, likealcohol buzzing euphoric in his veins, but sure to give him hell in themorning. Ren's shivering starts anew with an entirely different reason to be,and he's suddenly very aware, and very terrified.

Why is Clear calling out his namenow? What will be of Ren, having heard it this one time and knowing it'll neverhappen again?

Ren scrambles to sit up and extracthimself from Clear, who yelps in surprise.

"No- Ren, pleasedon't...!"

Clear's arms lock around Ren's neckin a vice grip, and his legs desperately coil around Ren's waist as well. Ren isthe one who ends up trapped, eyes wide and muscles tensed up.

"Ren... Ren-san... Please,don't leave," Clear whispers, pained, expectant.

A choked gasp leaves Ren's lips, andhe hurries to bite them shut. It does nothing to stop the burning tears pushingagainst his eyelids, the knot swelling in his throat and threatening tosuffocate him to death.

Words which are, at once, so sweetand so deceptive.

Ren lets Clear push him into the bedonce again, feels him clench around him as if echoing his earlier plea with hiswhole body. Tears spill over the sides of Ren's face. In that moment, Renpretends and prays quietly, just this once, that he can be what Clear needs,exactly for who he is.

#i managed to do this one faster!!!! but its still over 1k i hate everything #how did we go from star wars jokes to unrequited love angst anyway #im sorry if there are a lot of mistakes #i wrote it at once and didnt revise it bc im getting sleepy already lmao #but ill check it out tomorrow and then ill post it on ao3 too since ive posted the other one #i tweaked some things now its Nice #asks #realm of spells #realm-of-spells

[sebuckyverse]

Luxuriation

Plot: just Seb fucking you in a bathroom | Sebastian x Reader

Warnings: swearing, smut, oral, fingering, this gif I added???

Word count: 2375

A/N: I haven’t posted in a while so take this as a peace offering! Also, I’m not at home and I have really bad Internet access here so I won’t tag anyone atm!

Masterlist | Request

A New Year's Eve party with your co-workers, in a club. What a dream come true. This was the last place you'd wanted to spend the last night of the year, but here you were, standing next to the bar, a glass of red wine in your hand, waiting for your friend who promised to be back in 5 minutes, but it had already been about 20.

You watched people grind on each other on the dancefloor; two of your male colleagues making out in the corner across the room made you smile. They always did have a crush on each other, it was adorable, yet gross since they were practically dry humping each other in public. 

But then your friend popped up right behind you, startling you. ''Giiirrlll, you have no idea what just happened.'' 

You snorted. ''What?''

''I just met my possible future husband! Did you know Chris Evans is here?'' she practically squealed. You arched an eyebrow in question, since you weren't really familiar with the name. 

''Uhhh, Captain America? Ring a bell?'' she waved her hand in front of your face. 

You took a sip of the fruity alcohol, careful not to spill any on your creamy white bodycon dress, and hummed in acknowledgement. 

''Well,'' your girlfriend continued ''He asked me if I wanted to get out of here with him and I obviously said yes but then I was like my friend's here and I can't leave her alone and Chris was like well I have a friend here as well and basically this has turned out to be a double date, so let's go!''

Between her babbling, the loud music in the club and people shouting over the music you heard pretty much nothing of what she just said. But the next thing she was pulling your arm and leading you through the crowd to the back of the club, turning left and climbing the stairs to the second floor of the facility. You struggled with your tight dress, high heels and the glass of red liquid in your hand when your friend suddenly stopped and pulled you next to her. 

You were greeted by two sets of eyes belonging to excactly who your friend said - Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan. You were quite surprised, because you thought your friend was shitting you. 

''So here we are! Y/N, this is Chris and Sebastian. Boys, this is Y/N, my best friend, very single,'' she winked and pointed between you and Sebastian. 

You gasped at her boldness while Sebastian just smirked. You greeted both of the guys, before your friend took a seat next to Chris, conveniently leaving you the seat next to Sebastian. Your knee bumped into his as you sat down and it sent electricity through your body. You bit your lip and smiled apologetically. 

The three of them started conversation easily and you tried to keep up, to not seem like a complete outsider, even though you barely had any clue who these guys were. You didn't have much free time, since you always took your work home with you. Time was spent talking, laughing and drinking, drinking, drinking. 

You switched your wine to something a little more stronger, opting for a rum and coke. Soon you were left alone with Sebastian as Chris asked your friend to dance and they dissapeared into a sea of bodies. You peeked over your shoulder to get a glimpse of the hunk of a man sitting next to you, as you had been doing for most of the night. He was tall and delicious, wearing a grayish suit that was illuminated by the colorful lazer lights of the club. A striped tie was loosely hung around his neck and his chocolate tresses were perfectly gelled up. He took a sip of the whiskey he had ordered some time ago and you watched his Adam’s apple bop as he swallowed the golden liquid before he looked at you, getting caught in the act. 

“See something you like?” he asked, a corner of his mouth turning upward.

Feeling the buzz of the many drinks you had had, a surge of confidence shot through you and you straightened your back, sending him a sultry smile. ''And what if I do?'' 

The question hung in the air for a minute as you both stared at each other - better yet, eyefucked each other -, the sexual tension building and building until you were about to explode and just tackle him right then and there. But before you could do that, he put his glass down on to the nearest surface and stood up, offering you his hand. ''May I have this dance?'' 

You gladly took his hand and he led you to the dancefloor, finding a more open space that wasn't so crowded. You searched for your friend but failed to notice her. Sebastian spun you around, so your back was flush against his rock hard chest. He gripped your hips and started moving his own, swaying his body side to side. You followed his lead and soon you got lost in the beat of the music, grinding your ass against his pelvis. 

You gasped when he lowered his head and placed a kiss just below your ear, then nibbled your earlobe. You lifted your hand to the back of his head to encourage him to continue his actions. 

He easily complied when he started kissing and biting your neck, his thumbs smoothing circles on your hips. When he kissed a particularly sensitive spot on your neck, your back arched and your hips jerked backwards involuntarily only to feel his hard bulge prominently against your ass, making you moan. You decided you'd had enough of this teasing so you spun around, his hands now resting in the curve above your ass, his eyes blown with lust and you could only hope you mirrored his emotions. 

You grabbed him by the back of his neck and pulled him into a bruising kiss, complete with the taste of whiskey and a hint of peppermint. You parted your lips and he gladly took your invitation by sliding his tongue into your mouth, starting a slow tango in your wet cavern. You felt your body grow hotter and hotter and it definitely wasn't due to the packed club with seemingly no air conditioning. No, it was due to the two large hands sliding down to grip your ass, the soft muscle gliding around in your mouth and the soft hums erupting from his throat. 

He pulled away too soon for your liking and rested his forehead against yours while licking his red, puffy lips. He stood up straight and grabbed your hand, pulling you through the crowd, heading in the direction of the restrooms and your heart pounded in your chest, knowing where this is going. 

Sebastian bursted open a bathroom door to luckily find it empty and pulled you inside, closing the door and locking it behind you before slamming you against it and attacking your neck again, kissing, biting and sucking. You whimpered and waved your fingers through his sticky but still incredibly soft hair, trying to pull him even closer. 

''Tell me if you don't want this,'' he mumbled against your jaw. 

''I want this,'' you breathed out and that was all the confirmation he needed as he pulled you from the door and guided you to the sink, your ass pressing against the edge of the counter. Sebastian’s hands wound up on your hips again, sliding down to your thighs, meeting the hem of your skin tight dress and hiking it up, revealing your soaked centre, some of it leaking down your legs. 

Sebastian groaned at the sight and lifted you on the counter, standing between your legs. He grabbed your hair and yanked your head back, to give him perfect access to your neck. He dove in again to add more pink and purple marks to the ones you already have. His other hand hiked up your thigh, closing in on your drenched pussy as he pressed two fingers against your clothed cunt, swiping his digits up and down as you let out a filthy moan. 

''So beautiful, so wet.'' Sebastian hissed in your ear. You begged him for more. 

''What do you want, princess? Tell me. '' He demanded as he continued his assault on your neck and his torture between your legs.

''I.. uh, please. I need more.'' You struggled to form a coherent sentence. 

You felt him smirk against your neck as he started kissing his way lower, to your collarbone and then lower to your breast. He removed his hand from your hair to pull one of your straps down your shoulder to reveal your naked breast, the nipple already hardened, waiting to be given attention. Sebastian pressed feather light kisses to the curve of your breast before wrapping his lips around your nipple, sucking on it, then letting it go with a pop and circling it with the tip of his tongue. 

Sebastian dropped to his knees and pulled your lacey panties down your legs, he threw your legs over his shoulders and grabbed your hips to pull you closer to the edge. He was now face to face with your bare pussy and he didn't waste time burying his face in it. He licked a thick stripe from your hole to your clit before focusing on the latter, giving fast licks to your bundle of nerves. You moaned and chanted Sebastian's name as you waved your hands through his locks, scratching his scalp, making him growl against your bud as he sucked on it, sending jolts of vibrations through you. 

You were nearing your end fast as Sebastian pushed two fingers inside of you, curling his digits to perfectly hit your sweet spot and you felt a warm tightness begin to fold in your lower belly. Sebastian felt your walls clamp around his fingers and he stopped his movements, removing his fingers and withdrawing his mouth. You whined at the loss and he sent you a devilish grin before he stood up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. ''Delicious.''

''Shut up,'' you barked and pulled him against you, your fingers finding their way to his belt, which you pulled from the loops and unzipped his pants. You shoved your hand inside his boxers and wrapped it around his hard member, eliciting a muffled moan from Sebastian. He was long and thick, the head of his cock silky and wet from the pre cum you had spread around it; you loved how heavy he felt in your hand and you could only imagine what he would feel like filling you up. 

Sebastian growled and pulled a condom from the pocket of his slacks. You eyed him curiously and he winked at you wickedly. He pushed his pants down with his boxers, freeing his aching member from it's restraints, his beautiful cock standing proud against his stomach, a fat vein running on the downside of it. Your mouth watered at the sight and you wanted nothing more than for him to shove his cock down your throat. But, first things first.

Sebastian ripped the condom open with his teeth and rolled it on. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him to you. He took his cock in his hand and lined it up at your entrance before slamming home with one smooth thrust. Your mouth fell open in a silent scream as Sebastian moaned against your neck. He stayed still for a moment, to let you get used to his size and only started moving when you whined. He pulled out all the way, leaving only his tip in and slid back in. He seamlessly picked up his speed and by no time he was pounding into you like there was no tomorrow.

''Oh, f-fuck. Oh, yesss,'' You moaned and gripped Sebastian's shoulder to steady yourself. Sebastian groaned and switched between whispering sweet nothings in your ear to growl about how wet you were for him, how tight you were, how good you felt around his cock, all the while his cock is sliding in and out of you, juices dripping on the floor.

You felt the familiar warmth coil in your stomach again, building up where you left off before. You'd never come so fast before in your life and you had to give credit to the man above you. In the back of your mind, you could hear the party going on in the club. You could hear the crowd count down the seconds to the New Year while you were counting down the seconds until your climax.

9, 8, 7, 6..

So close, my God, you were close. Sebastian felt it yet again as he slipped a hand between your burning bodies, finding your clit and circling it with his thumb. 

5, 4, 3, 2..

It took just one word for you to let it all go, to explode and Sebastian selfishly took that task upon himself, ''Cum.'' 

With multiple curse words and a scream of your lover's name, you came - hard. Surges of pleasure shot through you in waves, spinning you and throwing you back and forth. You didn't want this to end, you were addicted to the feeling. You'd had good sex before, but this was something else, a whole other level. If this man had asked you to marry him right now, you'd say yes in a heartbeat. 

You think you blacked out because after the waves had calmed down and your high was, sadly, over you opened your eyes to see Sebastian smirking at you, still breathing heavily. ''You alright there?''

''I've never come so hard before. Shit.'' You were a tad dissapointed that you were so caught up in your own orgasm that you didn't see Sebastian's gorgeous face in his own high.

''Feeling's mutual, doll,'' he smiled and pressed a sweet, full of emotion kiss to your lips.

''Can I marry you?'' You asked.

Sebastian just chuckled and you might've been wrong, but you thought you saw a blush appear on his cheeks. ''How about we start off with a date, first?''

''Deal.''

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan smut #sebastian x reader #sebuckyverse #luxuriatation #bucky barnes smut

[hatnews3-blog]

RealitySteve.com - My sarcastic, slanted, sophomoric, and skewed view on the world of reality television

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I realize, of course, that very few people are drawn to Are You the One? because of the mathematical strategies that must be employed for twenty-two people to have a shot at splitting a million dollars, but for those who are interested, the statistics at this point are as follows:

• 3 beams of light were nabbed in 2 consecutive ceremonies.

• 0 matches were made from 2 sojourns into the Truth Booth.

• 1 guy received head from Kenya during a luau.

• 1 girl named Lauren has received approximately 36 seconds of screen time.

• 7 blowups have gone down courtesy of Bria and 4 of them required she be physically restrained.

• And the number of women still convinced something real and true exists beneath Zak’s staggering and smelly layers of douchiness? Well, that number would probably measure somewhere near infinity.

The last ceremony concluded with Zak calling Bria trash and her retaliating in return that their garbage love story is over – and all that probably means is they’ll be heading into the Boom Boom Room any day now. But we can hope, can’t we? We can hope Bria calms down. We can hope Zak falls scruff-first into a volcano. We can hope Tevin will eventually stop hoping that Kenya will spontaneously turn decent. We can hope Lauren gets to say four consecutive sentences on camera and that Cam finds himself a fellow Conservative in that messy den of iniquity. Or we can say “f*ck hope” and simply wait for someone new to fly off the rails because this is an MTV reality show, dammit, and just it’s nice when our hopes pan out.

Episode four begins with Bria blathering about how much she respects herself and how she deserves better and that she’s not a dumb bitch, which means she will definitely end up straddling Zak in the very near future because Bria seems to be the very opposite of what she claims to be. And since she is a woman who deeply respects herself, she drenches another woman’s legs in chocolate syrup and dives tongue-first into the girl’s crotch to lick that syrup off – you know, much like the feminists of yore used to do. Her antics are having the exact effect we all know she’s going for. Zak is getting jealous, so since he’s a very mature person, he decides to lean in and kiss Samantha right in front of his hysterical ex. But Samantha! Could she be the token normal one on this show? I think there’s a chance that she might just be! As Zak leans in, she jerks backwards to avoid lips that have already slid over mouth of almost every girl in that house. She knows Zak’s deal and she’s not into it and I would hereby like to announce a brand new holiday! It will be called Samantha Day and on that day no woman will deign to kiss a dipsh*t and champagne and mini Twix bars will rain down from the sky. I’ve already ordered commemorative tees.

The next morning, Asia wakes Lewis to tell him she’s made him breakfast – something he swears hasn’t happened for him since Ja Rule had a hit – and he likes her and all, but he’s keeping his options open. Then there’s Brett and Cali. Those two are clicking. Need proof? As they discuss what kind of animal each one of them would be, Brett knows Cali would be a bird! Is their love deep or what? It is so deep that it’s time to start swapping secrets. Brett’s deep dark secret? He’s had three surgeries. Cali’s? She tosses hot peppers into her mouth like candy and then makes poop that burns her sphincter. Yes, theirs is a glorious kind of love and I’m certain it will last forever.

Asia is into Lewis, but she tells Tevin that Lewis hasn’t made any sort of move on her yet. She’s not sure if he’s being respectful or what, but she finds it odd that the two haven’t even danced together, not even during the luau a few days back. Once the luau is brought up, Tevin lets it slip that Kenya not only danced atop Lewis that night, but she went down on him as well. This is brand new information for Asia and she does not appreciate being kept in the dark by two people she thought she could trust. “Let me know you got your d*ck sucked. And let me know you sucked his d*ck!” she exclaims to Tevin about those two traitors and his response is to nod sagely and the whole thing is a moment of bonding one only sees on basic cable.

Also: I’m officially canceling Samantha Day. It turns out she gets positively giddy when men leave pools of sweat in their wake and, well, that’s the sort of shit that should just not be celebrated. The guy whose sweat is currently making her swoon is Daniel, and the truth is I don’t care if they get together or not. I’m just happy she’s not dreaming about doing a slip n’ slide through any of Zak’s bodily fluids.

Terrence J pops in next – he’s contractually mandated to show up now and again – and this week the Fate Button determines Shamoy, Lewis, Maria, and Lauren (the blonde phantom) get to go on the out-of-the-house date. Everyone is thrilled Shamoy and Maria were selected because there’s a good chance they’re an actual match and now they can be shoved into the Truth Booth and maybe something can finally be confirmed. The date they head out on involves horseback riding through the foggiest afternoon Hawaii has ever seen. Lauren gets to speak at least four times, Maria admits that Shamoy gives her butterflies, and Shamoy rides shirtless because Maria has latent Fabio fantasies. Everything is going perfectly until Lauren gets thrown from her horse, but it turns out this formerly mute girl is tough and she literally gets back on that horse and finishes the ride.

Back at the house, Asia is busy informing everyone she can corner that Kenya took Lewis’ hand a few weeks back, pulled him into the Boom Boom Room, and then sucked his d*ck. Had skywriters been available, she probably would have requested that one form the image of Kenya’s mouth enveloping Lewis’ scrotum so everyone could learn the news at once, but alas, skywriting is not in the budget for this show, not with all the tequila that needs to be on hand every second of every day so the contestants can wash away whatever inhibitions still remain in the darkest corners of their souls. As Asia wipes away tears of fury in the kitchen, Daniel asks Samantha to accompany him on a mini excursion to go catch crabs. Yes, there are a zillion “catching crabs” jokes I could make right now, but I’m instead going to appreciate that Daniel is not currently sweating buckets and I’m going to celebrate that he knows how to build a fishing pole out of bamboo – that kind of MacGyver sh*t could come in handy in the real world! – and, I swear, my eyes didn’t even roll when the two of them sat on the shore and kissed.

It’s Truth Booth time! To nobody’s surprise, Shamoy and Maria are sent in to determine if they’re a real match or not. The totally-just-for-show lights pass over their bodies and we find out these two are a perfect match! The house explodes into cheers, Shamoy and Maria are relieved as hell, and I’m devastated because now the only two clinically normal people in that villa are being sent away to the Honeymoon House so the rest of these rather insane people can more easily weed through one another to achieve a cash prize.

Seeing the perfect match pop up on the screen is making the rest of the house feel all kinds of giddy – or all kinds of drunk, but let’s pretend the romance here is not sponsored by Smirnoff. After declaring how “perfect” things are between she and Brett (and after we all then heard the rumbling of symbolic thunder the very second she said such a thing), Cali gets out of the hot tub and Brett has no idea where she has gone. He discovers her talking to Zak, a conversation that involves Zak telling her that she reminds him of his sister and Cali muttering, “Cool,” in return, but Brett is not about details at the moment. No, this guy gets in Zak’s face. Zak stays calm the entire time because pretty much everyone he’s ever met has hated him; he’s used to people invading his personal space to inform him that he sucks. Watching Brett’s overreaction, Cali is concerned. She’s experienced this kind of controlling man in her past and Brett is making her feel scared. She should probably already be scared. MTV has labeled Brett “The Jealous Type,” and he’s proving here that sometimes labels are pretty f*cking accurate. A few guys attempt to intervene because the guy is acting like a crazy person and Cali keeps telling him that he’s acting irrationally, but he’s not really into logic right now. Oh, and Cali keeps calling him “Zak” which is really not helping matters.

It’s a new day and the alcohol has seeped out of his system and now Brett thinks that maybe he blew things out of proportion the night before. And speaking of blowing things, Tevin lets Kenya know he accidentally told Asia about what happened between she and Lewis a while back and now Lewis would like to talk to Asia. With his shorts slipping all the way down his ass, Lewis leads Asia away so he can tell her there’s no reason she should feel an emotional attachment to him – which is a sentence all women love to hear. Asia thinks they have a connection despite the fact that he’s yet to see her naked, Lewis appears perplexed by everything Asia is saying, and it all just gets louder and more confusing when Kenya bounds over and says she had no idea Asia had feelings for Lewis, but she swears whatever transpired between the two of them was not “romantical” in the least. They all end the conversation with a hug, though Lewis is more than a bit freaked out because he’s nowhere near as into Asia as she apparently is into him.

It’s ceremony time! With one match already made, the group is now looking to solidify the other pairings. The guys get to choose their matches this week and it goes a little something like this:

• Lewis chooses Asia and Samantha sits back and watches as Asia mumbles some explanation about how whatever happened with Lewis and Kenya no longer matters and the whole thing makes Samantha sad because she feels like Asia is compromising herself. For the record, I’m now reconsidering my reconsideration of Samantha Day. The woman is wise and she’s yet to put her fist through a wall or through someone’s face. So what that she likes sweaty men? Let the bells that announce the dawning of Samantha Day ring! • Cam picks Kayla. • Tevin selects Kenya. • Daniel chooses Samantha – and she’s already worried he’s not enough of a challenge for her. • Brett gets up and rhapsodizes about how Cali is still the one he wants despite the fireballs of rage he spit at her the previous evening. But Cali? She doesn’t particularly love having to say this in front of everyone, but she’s no longer cool with a man who has psychotic bursts of anger due to his own issues with trust. She’s not willing to overlook the negative tendencies he all but waved before her face like flags and she tells him that she’s done. His response? He picks her as his match for the evening and Cali presses her hand on the screen to lock in that match with a look of pure duress smeared across her pretty face. • Andrew (who?) picks Lauren, the girl who fell off the horse and has now had 48 seconds of screen time. • Bria is chosen by some guy I’ve maybe never seen before and I do not know his name, but he helped her locate her missing pasta that morning and great love stories have started from far less. (Okay, they haven’t. But I’m afraid of Bria, so let me just publicly say that the locating of carbohydrates is so important in a relationship and I wish her and whoever this guy might be the very best.) • Kwasi picks Jasmine. • Tomas (I think) selects Nutsa. • Zak lands on Morgan.

With all these new selections, some of which are completely random and based only on missing fusilli, the group ends up with only two correct matches. They are now, Terrence J cautions them, in the danger zone and there is only one way to combat this growing crisis: they should all head out on a Relationship Retreat where their exes will be there to ambush them! Sounds healthy, right? And so romantical.

Nell Kalter teaches Film and Media at a school in New York. She is the author of the books THAT YEAR and STUDENT, both available on amazon.com in paperback and for your Kindle. Also be sure to check out her website at nellkalter.com. Her twitter is @nell_kalter.

Source: http://realitysteve.com/2018/08/30/are-you-the-one-nell-kalters-episode-4-recap/