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ghostflowerhotpotch · 9 months

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So I'll just tell myself all of the things I can't say to you yet (Fic)

Third Chapter here!

Pairing: Ghostflower (Miles x Gwen.)

Chapter: 4/4.

Summary: The plan was easy, get her dad out of the apartment, and made sure Miles didn't see her embarrassing song lyrics about him, nor the rest of things she keeps from him; how wrong could this go?

(What she didn't think, is that sometimes things can go wrong in the best way possible.)

Gwen was mad at herself for still not being able to find a way to get her dad out of the house.

Funnily enough, is not something she ever really had to worry about before the "incident" happened. Despite trying to keep an entire identity a secret, she never had trouble ensuring to do it when her dad wasn't looking or needing to be too careful when coming home; since he was a police officer he did a lot of night shifts, all of them becoming more prominent when he became a Captain.

Is funny how she remembers being bitter about it when she was younger, resenting the number of times her dad called May to look after her when he needed to leave out of nowhere because of work. She becoming grateful about it when she became spider-woman was a surprise, and most of all to miss it now.

"It doesn't help needing to hide a friend was something I definitely never had to deal with," She thought bitterly, as her dad inspected the door she stupidly had tried to use as an excuse.

Her first idea has been to ask if he was going anywhere or if he needed to buy anything; with his new job as a coach he has started to look at places and prices to see what he could ask the university to get and what could be better than what they have; this has somehow reminded him that Gwen asked about getting oil because her squeaking door.

As he inspected the door, Gwen decided to hope he was busy enough to realize Gwen was looking around clearly trying to find something.

That wasn't exactly distressing; knowing how Hobie's watches worked she knew he didn't hop to another dimension because the spectacle those do would have to show up even with a wall in between. The guy was also able to become invisible, though she wasn't sure if he was going to do that with the wounds he had, she hoped he didn't. The possibility of him jumping out of the window is always high with any spidey-person in general.

But she didn't hear the window, which she should have even if she was focused on her dad. Her Spider-sense also was telling her there was a spider-person close, even if it couldn't indicate exactly where; so he wasn't far. There was only one door in her room too, the place wasn't also insanely big; the space below her bed was so small only a cat could get down there, so really the only other place she could think of-

"No," Her eyes fly to the closet, feeling her heart stops as she considers the possibility, "Please tell me he isn't there."

Because she didn't think of him opening the damn closet, she didn't try to cover or hide anything, just left it on the floor of the closet. There is no way he wouldn't see it, goddammit considering they both have excellent night vision for all she knows she may be reading some of her half-made lyrics.

Walking slowly, keeping in mind her dad was still looking at the hinges (he liked to act like he knew what he was doing even with things he had no clue of,) until she was finally in front of the closet. Trying to be casual, she gave one tap to the door,

Ruffled sounds came from the closet, as if someone was fighting her jackets and, pages? (Oh no,) the doors opened a little, as the furniture itself was startled. She thought she saw something fly from the closet as if its contents were trying to go away, and she put her hands to close it shut without a second thought (too much time hiding secrets give you those habits.)

"Gwen?"

She turns to her dad, who has stopped mumbling to himself about AW-04 or something else, and was looking at her mildly concerned and confused.

Trying to play dumb, she said "Oh, I may need to organize my closet better?" She tries to say, probably sounding less convincing than she could.

Because freaking Miles was in her closet, probably looking at her embarrassing crush shit!

Saying Gwen was screaming inside would be an understatement, and yet below the gaze of her father, she just smiles awkwardly and tries to pretend she is not about to lose it.

As she was trying to process that, she didn't look too much into what has escaped from it; yet the fact seemed to have caught the attention of her father. As he walked towards her, she casually positions herself between the closet and him, hoping he wouldn't look there.

Just when Gwen realizes her dad was concentrating on what fell on the floor, the man is kneeling to pick up the first picture of her and Miles, the same one she treasured for months before having new ones.

Her dad arches an eyebrow as he gets up with the Polaroid in hand, and says "You know? With how much you treasure this thing, I would think you would put more effort into safekeeping in a better place."

"Oh this has to be a joke," She thought to herself, imagining what Miles would think if he had the chance to see this pic and realize what her dad means, and the answer was probably more likely than she wanted it to be.

"Treasure seems kind of a strong word, don't you think?" She replied, awkwardly laughing.

Yes, she knows she is doomed, she has a notebook full of his name with way too corny lyrics, pictures, and a plushie; she couldn't look more desperate than that. Miles already had seen enough, he didn't need to hear about how much that photo meant to her.

Sadly, the universe seemed to hate her because her dad refused to accept the dismissal.

"Are you serious?" He says baffled, the rumble of his laughter in the back of his voice "Gwen, you disappeared for months, and the only reason you set foot on this place, aside from not having a way out of this dimension; was to get this picture. You literally ignored my presence, took the Polaroid, and try to leave before I could wake up. If of everything out of this house, this was your primary concern, doesn't that have to mean something?"

"Wow dad, I could almost be impressed you caught all of this, in any other moment EXCEPT THIS." She thought to herself, wanting nothing more than to take a pillow and scream.

The notebook wasn't enough, the pictures weren't enough, and the plushie wasn't enough. No, her dad needed to give a discourse about how much of a goner she was.

Was this how Miles felt when she was in front of his parents? Somehow, she felt she had it worse because at least his mom didn't mention him being so corny as to keep a picture around almost like a charm.

As her dad give her the polaroid (with her keeping it close to her chest as a reflex; honestly most of the time she was very mindful with the photo.) He moved away quickly enough, as she let her head fall down defeated and tired.

"Mmm, I'm kind of hungry, what do you think of getting chinese?"

"NOW is that you find an excuse to leave?" Gwen thought exasperated.

Taking a deep breath to remember she would rather not let her dad see her crush hiding in the closet with probably just half of his clothes; Gwen keeps her composure enough to say "Sure! Sounds good, Do you think you could go and order there directly? You know, less time for the food to get colder."

Knowing exactly what place her dad would go, since they have menus of some of their favourite take-out places; she tried to think of something that could take some extra time since she still wasn't sure if Miles was feeling okay enough to go to his dimension yet, or perhaps crash someone's else.

She may or may not have been reading it from beginning to end just to avoid needing to talk to Miles about, this, but who could say?

Once she decided on her food (with a comment from her dad for taking too long,) she stood at the entrance of the apartment as her dad closed the door behind him, and just on cue, she overheard her closet being opened.

Letting her head go against the door, she thought "Ground swallow me up."

As her indeed, annoying bedroom door squeaked open, she heard Miles say "For the record, my middle name is Gonzalo."

"Great, he read at least one of the songs, wonderful."

As she turned around, she saw Miles leaning on the door frame on his side; he had the notebook in his hands, and he smirked mischievously at her; despite still missing his top and having scratches and bandages.

Sighing, she decides she should get over it, "Look, I know this looks bad-"

"Bad?" He says, a bit shocked, the corners of his lips still up as he moves away from the door and walks to her "Hey, I can't say much, you saw all of those drawings I did-"

"That's different." She scoffed, crossing her arms as she looked to the side.

"Yeah? Why is that?"

"At least you are over me now," She said, sounding more bitter than she would have liked to be.

It was dumb- this was her fault, she pushed him away, and she was the one who lied to him to the point he needed to he ask for space. She couldn't seriously get worked up about this.

"Beg your pardon?"

Okay, Gwen didn't really want to look Miles, not wanting to make things worse for herself. However the tone of voice he used caught her attention.

When she looked back at him, just a few feet away from her with the notebook closed; he was looking at her like he needed to make sure his ears were actually working.

Blinking, she bites the bullet "You asked me to give you a few months to be away so you could, process everything? And then I was just one of the spidey-gang to you? What I am missing here?"

Almost in slow-motion, his eyes opened wildly, before running a hand through his hair "So Margo and Hobie weren't exaggerating with me acting differently- I know I was able to tone it down a lot but I didn't think I was playing it off that well."

"Playing it off- Wait, so you mean-"

"I have feelings for you?" The words came almost like a laugh out of Miles, shaking his head "Sorry, is just- after acting like a lovesick puppy around you, and what you told me when we saw each other again, and the after; I thought it would have better to try to move on, not that I ever did. My love for you never went away."

My love for you never went away.

Something about those words made her heart flutter in excitement; she wanted to bask in that feeling, to think of what those words meant.

But she was good at keeping track of the unspoken things in a conversation, as well as keeping an eye on things that would make her miserable.

"Wait, what did I say to you?"

"The bit with Gwen and Spider-man not working out? I thought you well, preferred not to risk it; that was the last time we hinted at the topic."

As the memory of her time in the organization, her old loyalties, and what she did, she felt as if a bucket of cold water dropped on top of her, drowning the previous happiness she was feeling moments ago. With her mouth suddenly feeling dry, she didn't think of a response before Miles was talking again.

"I didn't think you would feel like this- Well, or friends try to tell me about it, if only to push me to move things forward; I thought you just wanted to be friends."

"How could you think that, as if I'm not constantly doing dumb shit because of the exact opposite?" She thought to herself.

Except, she knew exactly why.

Feeling more bitter by the second, she let out a laugh, as her hands formed into first. She was doing it again.

She was doing it all fucking again, wasn't it?

"Gwen?"

"Is just stupid," She says angrily, not bothering to clarify if it was the situation, or her; truth being told, it was both. "I told you that, because I thought it was part of one of the canon events."

"Oh."

"Yeah, those;" She agreed; one of the things they ended up doing while trying to sort the mess after the HQ fiasco, was to realize that canon events weren't really a thing. It was a bunch of complicated crap that she couldn't dwell on right now, but she couldn't believe she had fallen for it too; and had stood aside when Miles has needed her. "But honestly? I mean, I am almost not surprised that I'm doing it again."

"Wait, do what?"

Gwen didn't face Miles, she couldn't take it; not when she was this angry, not when she felt the tears try to build in her eyes as she felt the impulse to throw something. "What I always do, mess things up!

"Miles, hear yourself out," She said, sounding almost maniacally out of the sheer desperation she was feeling "You thought this, for a stupid comment I said. You forced yourself to act differently around me because you thought I was feeling uncomfortable.

"And now look at this!" Turning around, she pointed at the door where her dad had left "I needed to hide you out, I was trying to find an excuse for my dad to leave; because somehow I couldn't find a way of saying 'Hey dad! My friend got injured on a mission! Do you mind if I help patch him up?' No, I try to make a circus because I didn't want him or you to know about this.

"And that's just the tip of the iceberg, that isn't even talking about the messed up things I did! Do you want to know, how many nights I was awake for months, thinking if I had perhaps, just perhaps told my dad about my identity at the right moment, could I have talked about it with him accepting me, instead of him trying to point a gun at me because I waited to the last possible second?

"Want to know what happened to Peter, to my best friend?" Her voice broke at his name, because her heart knew when she meant B and when she meant him, "He tried to become the lizard trying to be like me Miles, because I prioritized being Spider-woman instead of a good friend; and want to know the worst part of it?" She let the words linger, if it was for Miles benefit, or her own cowardice, well, who was to say? "He knew it was me, he said my name, and he tried to take my mask off, to tell me everything was going to be okay."

Gwen hated the feeling of hot tears coming down her cheeks, how she didn't want to try to open her eyes knowing she would just cry so much she would not see straight. The words continue coming out without her permission, the desperate cry she tried to keep hidden for so long was finally coming out, and would do it regardless if she wanted or not.

"I didn't let him," she admitted, ashamed "When he said my name, I try to play dumb, I took his hand away from my mask. My best friend was dying in front of me, and to the last bitter end, I try to keep him at bay, to keep him away from my secret identity. And the last time I saw him alive I was using a mask that only let me see so much, and he couldn't see my face as he wanted. I denied my best friend his dying wish."

It was so fucked up, she was just so messed up.

"I just, keep doing this," She shakes her head, not believing to which degree she would go with this "I didn't say anything to you, to the point I was driving you away. I pretended I could keep my feelings at bay by writing half-baked songs and keeping anything that reminded me of you; but all I did was to do more stupid things trying to hide it. It doesn't matter how many times this keeps happening, I just don't seem to learn my lesson.

"Is not fair," She says as if it doesn't sound childish, the pleas of a girl who is acting as if the reason for her suffering wasn't her own fault, "Is not fair to my dad that even when he is trying, I can't seem to want to bridge the gap. It wasn't fair to Peter that I pushed him away until the bitter end. And is not fair that you need to try to bend backwards, all because I can't seem to open up, because I prefer to write notes rather than tell you to your face that I love you!"

"I'm not-" She couldn't finish the sentence, before more tears came out of her, as she finally couldn't hold it anymore.

God, why she was like this? She just, couldn't.

It didn't matter if it was her dad, her best friend, or her crush- it all happened the same way. She would get afraid, keep something she shouldn't keep, and it would explode in her face. It didn't even need to be someone close to her, what did she do before? Lying to Jessica about the mission so she could go to Earth-1610? Try to keep her whereabouts away from Miguel?

Gwen could be spiderwoman, but there was one part of her she hated with all her being, the one she couldn't seem to shake. Because deep down, she knew she was a coward.

And she didn't deserve the people in her life.

She didn't deserve a father who as flawed as he was, was trying to do the right for her as she keep lies on top of lies. Her friends didn't deserve someone who keep everyone at bay, to the point she tend to pout her feelings more on lyrics than actually speaking about it.

And Miles deserved better than a girl who could only say I love you after admitting it would be better for everyone in her life to leave her. Yet all she could do now was this, cry pathetically after everything she had tried to keep down has refused to disappear.

It was truly a shame how Gwen view herself, as Miles was seeing this in a completely different light.

The smile has been wiped from his face, as he had put the notebook on the table; he felt his own mouth go dry as he watched the girl he loved sobbing for the weight of her own guilt.

Miles knew she was reserved; heck, Margo and Hobie had commented on it, being the reason why they had told him to be the one to do the first step. They didn't think Gwen would try it.

But he doubted they understood to which degree this has affected her.

"Is not fair," He has agreed with her on something, and that it wasn't fair to her. It wasn't fair to carry all of this on your shoulders, to keep quiet about so much. Looking at Gwen, he couldn't help but feel his own heart break "She looks so small."

Gwen was someone he has always admired; from her fighting skills to her quick thinking, she has seemed like the most put-together on their original rag-tag team of Spideys when all of this started for him. Despite being his age, she stood her ground, has been able to hide and adapt better than Peter B and the others; and seemed always in control.

Right now she was hunching, her body facing the side as she herself was ashamed of her feelings and was trying to hide it from Miles, her hands covering her face. She wasn't the badass girl that has hastily told him he didn't get to like his haircut. She was so much more than that.

He wouldn't call her weak, definitely not for this; not for being human. But it reminded him that below the calm, collected mask, was a real person underneath.

As she cried her heart out, she seemed like a normal girl, a stressed-out teenage girl. Because at the end of the day, everyone has their breaking points; Miles just wished he could have been able to do something about it before.

"I may not be able to do something before, but I can for now," thought to himself, as he walked up to her.

While he tenderly touched her shoulder, she went rigid; as if she hasn't expected or heard him come; spiders tended to be that silent.

"Hey," He greeted softly, even if Gwen still had her face covered. Gently, his hand hovered on top of one of hers, fingertips touching softly so as to not impose "Can I?"

Can I see your face? Can I wipe your tears? Can I be the one you lend on?

He wasn't sure what to ask, letting the question open for all the things he wanted to say, to do for her; it was about time that he did so without fear.

She seemed frozen, yet slowly, she moved her hands away. Her eyes were red and puffy, her button nose was also a tone pink he couldn't help but think it was cute, traces of tears were on her cheeks, and more were building on her eyes; however she was still quiet, as if she was containing herself.

He didn't want her to do that ever again.

"Is okay," He told her kindly, as his hand fell on her cheek, cleaning the tears; all moving slowly, giving her the chance to reject it or move away if she needed; she didn't. "Is okay if you are still sad too."

"What are you doing?" She said instead, obtuse.

"Being here for you," He answered without missing a beat, casually wiping away the tears from her other eye, while his other hand still rested on her cheek, "As I wanted to do for a long time."

"Is my-"

"No," he refutes still, not letting her finish the sentence "It doesn't matter anymore."

"It doesn't- Miles, look at this, look at yourself, it keeps happening, I keep doing this." She said with bile, as if she couldn't stand herself at this moment; her gaze going to the side as if even while so close she refused to see him out of anger, "None of you deserve this, I don't deserve-"

"No," he repeats again, adamant.

Scoffing, Gwen says "Miles, cutting me off doesn't change reality."

"It does because it isn't real," he affirms confidently, or perhaps stubbornly; "Not for me, I refuse to accept it."

"You cannot do that."

"You were about to say you don't deserve me?" He pointed out, with her going quiet "To say you don't deserve your dad, or Peter, or the gang? It doesn't matter."

"How can you say that?"

"Because none of us were ever here because we thought we 'deserved' you," He told her straight to the point, his voice firm, before dropping softly "Is because we love you."

She went quiet, looking at the ground but not fighting him anymore.

"Gwen, I don't know who forgot to tell you this, but we aren't here for you because we think we deserve someone like you in our life, we do it because we like being around you, for who you are." He said as he moved a strand of hair away, seeing his face better as she was lifting her head and finally, looking at him. Despite everything, her eyes looked so fearful.

"Even as she looks like she wants to fall apart, she is so beautiful," He thought to herself.

Even with her eyes swollen, looking like she wanted to shut down; she was the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. From her piercings to the watercolor eyes and her tooth gap, he had always remembered to draw (he didn't want an idealized version of her, he wanted to draw her as she was.) As long as it was her, it didn't matter the situation, she would shine.

This wasn't the time to dwell on that, but he would remember to tell her that later, and probably again. He didn't want to keep things hidden anymore, especially not when this mess has partially happened because he also didn't try to talk things over. He also had experience in messing up that way.

"You aren't the only one who has kept secrets they shouldn't," Miles said somberly, gathering Gwen's attention as her eyes opened slightly in confusion and surprise. Is funny, considering she knew about this; "You remember that I lost my uncle, right? Holding his hand in his last moments; and I couldn't talk to anyone about it."

"Miles that wasn't your fault."

"It wasn't," He accepted, and has done for a while. It took him time to realize that; he hopes Gwen realizes that in her own situation too eventually; "How do you think, my dad felt when he realized I kept his lasts words to myself for over a year?"

Gwen stood there in surprise, while Miles himself let that sink as he felt the bitter taste in his mouth at the thought. He still remembers his father's melancholic face, as he took in what his brother said, the grief he still had about the subject, as well as the pain that Miles deprived him of this information for this long.

Miles knew his parents understood that he has been afraid, in all honesty, part of him wished they could have been harsher at him; he would take his dad's anger any day of the week over the disappointment and betrayal those news has been for him. But they were working on it, they were doing their better to talk and understand each other better, even if it wasn't always easy.

He was thankful to them for teaching him that, now more than ever as he consoled Gwen.

"I messed up," He admitted, freely, as he looked into her eyes "In more ways than one, and that wasn't the only time. It happens."

"But I keep doing it-"

"Then try again," He said immediately, softly and without judgment.

Which was all he found in Gwen's gaze as she said "Why? Why would you trust me with that? What makes you think I would not do this again?"

He wouldn't, not that it was the point, he trusted her that much. But there was something about this conversation that brought into mind something Margo mentioned; how Gwen's feelings for him couldn't have been a secret for what she did. Now that he knows how she feels about him, that day feels like it has gained an entirely new meaning.

Yet there was still something he needed to know.

"What you were supposed to do, when we saw each other again?"

"What?"

"That day, when the Spot ended up opening another hole in the multiverse- What were you supposed to do that day in my dimension?"

Looking at him completely at loss, she says "Miles what has this to do with anything?"

"I will tell you once you answer me."

Scoffing, she rolls her eyes before whispering to herself 'fuck it, what difference does make it now.' Taking a deep breath, she says "Spot ended up traveling to a bunch of dimensions on a dime, almost by accident; we caught a whiff of what was going on when he was back in Earth 1610. The original plan was only to monitor him, since he was back in his own dimension; my mission was to watch over him and made sure he couldn't do his hole trick again."

"And, you weren't supposed to see me at all."

Shaking her head, she says "Miguel didn't want to involve you at all, he even had his reservations about me because, you know," She gestured to both of them- wait does that mean Miguel somehow put two and two together about them before Miles even registered it? "Jess was the one who gave me the mission, she trusted me more than Miguel did. But she didn't want to involve you either, if it was for her I would have been hidden below that bridge the entire time until I needed to interfere."

But that was not what she did, she opened the portal to his room; before even realizing it was his room. She was given a mission to keep the lunatic scientist from traveling to other dimensions as he pleased (though none of them realized how dangerous he could be back then,) and what she did was to get to him as soon as she was able and hug him.

As a grin started to appear on his face, Gwen scoffed "Yeah yeah, you can laugh; it was dumb."

"No- I mean, I don't think so;" Could prioritizing seeing someone you had missed over the safety of the multiverse be called dumb? Maybe, would have Miles done things differently had he been in Gwen's shoes? Not in a million years. "I'm just, happy to hear that."

"What, letting a nutjob get away by being too desperate?"

"If it helps, I would have done the same for you in a heartbeat." He says earnestly, still cradling her face as the tears finally started to disappear; even if it was because the topic was less upsetting for her. As he saw her annoyance leave her face, he said "But don't you get it? You were doing it already."

"Doing what?"

"Showing how you feel."

"..."

"Think about it," He says with a smile, remembering that day "You came to see me, and hug me before I even had the chance to register you were here. You spend as much time as you could with me until the watch told you something happened. And then when we saw Margo well, looking back you weren't subtle."

Clicking her tongue, she quickly replies "Okay, at least half the reason for that was Peni-"

"What?"

As if she realized she had said too much, she moves her hand dismissively, "Nevermind."

He probably wouldn't, this reminded him of some things Hobie was talking about before- maybe he should talk to Margo later, if only to find a way to return the favor.

"My point is, all of that was there," He reminds her, going back on topic, "When we were seating in the Tower, I thought you didn't want to be more because of what you say, and somehow didn't think of all the other little things you were doing. Even if you say you have a problem talking things out, you always find a way to show it, right?"

Her lips formed a tight line, unconvinced, and replies "That's not good enough."

"I mean, you can do this," With his hand that is not on her cheek, he takes her own, giving it a tender squeeze, "You just did it, too; you told me what was wrong."

"I didn't have much of a choice."

"You could just say you didn't want to talk about it," he shrugs nonchalantly "You certainly didn't need to tell me about how you feel about your dad, or Peter; but you still did, you are still trusting me that much."

Gwen seemed to want to find a rebuttal, but any words died in her throat, and Miles didn't give her much of a chance before saying.

"Is okay, if is still tough, if you have trouble opening up, all this means is that you just need to continue trying, and we need to remind you that we are here for you, one way or another."

Even after all of this back and forth, it seemed like there was something holding her back, almost like even with Miles telling her it was okay, she couldn't let herself believe it. Without more arguments, she asks a softly, defeated "Why?" She whispers to him "Why after all I told you, after all I did, you still want to be here?"

That has to be the easiest question he has answered all night.

"Because I love you."

He had implied that much before, but hadn't said it yet, funnily enough Gwen technically beat him to the punch earlier in the middle of her rant. If they could talk things out, make this right- he hoped he could get to say it a lot more.

"When I was hiding before, I was thinking about that; how long I had feelings for you, but rather than these feelings changing because of the distance and what happened between us, I realized I just found new ways to love you. To realize there is a lot more than the badass hero I met initially, to love being around you regardless if we are on the suit or not. I saw your lyrics, the pictures, and the plushie, and not even once I thought I was mad at you for keeping this away from me, I was just so happy.

"You used to do ballet, until you needed to leave because Spider-people don't have a good track record with being on time or being there when needed. You had been hitting things with your hands for so long your dad decided to get you a drum set. The first time I saw you fight, you were so swift and well pulled together it made me wish I could train you if only to hope to get half the ability you have.

"You have a tendency to gravitate around people, hitting a shoulder, leaning on someone, hugs- sometimes I think you try to hold those impulses more than you let on" To that comment she suddenly looked to the side, oh he was going to remember that for later, "You remember little things, like how I like to draw, or the name of my parents; even if I don't think I told them their names more than once.

"You are caring, fierce, and once you know what the right thing is you would fight the world and back for it." He continues his praises to the unbelieved gaze of Gwen, that seemed dumbfounded at the idea that he was saying all of this; as if he didn't think that every time he laid his eyes on her. "You are impulsive, a tad reckless, and hold on too much.

"And I love that, because I love you, with all the caveats and falls;" He explains, moving just a bit closer, wanting her to directly look at him and see in his gaze how much she means to him "I didn't fall for you because I thought I deserved you, I just did. It doesn't matter the pain, the misunderstandings, or whatever spidey shenanigans we end up; I still want this, I want to be with you."

Gwen has never been the most expressive person, trying to keep her feelings to herself out of self-preservation. Yet finally after all of this, she was smiling at him, it was small with the tips of her lips just going a bit up, but this one time he saw her eyes shine at him and didn't think he was making it up.

Getting a step closer, their faces inches away from each other, leaving enough space for her to still say no and take a step back "I want to be there for you when you are angry but you don't want to talk about it, when you are sad and you don't know what to do, I want to take you to dates and I want you to get mad at me if I mess up because I would rather have you talking than you hiding from me. I want to go out with you and get to hear all the things you never talk about, good or bad.

"Can I do that? Can I go out with you? To give us a chance?"

Gwen laughs, the same type of laugh he needed to try to contain earlier. As she giggles her face breaks into the biggest smile he has ever seen on her, she looks at him as if she can't believe it; "I don't know how you keep doing it, but you always find the right thing to say."

He smiles at her, and as he looks at her lips, he looks back at her eyes knowing they are way too close for her to not notice that "So, is that a yes-"

"Please," As he hears the laughter in her voice, she takes a step further and kisses him, throwing herself as she put her arms around his shoulders.

Grabbing her waist as he makes sure they don't fall (and kept to himself a groan as the wounds in his back didn't particularly like holding weight all of the sudden,) it only took him a second before he kissed her back. The faint sting of paint wavered as he felt her warm against him, her lips were soft and he tasted the salt of her own tears and took it away as he reciprocated.

The smell of her shampoo filled him as he felt his chest explode in ecstasy, a long dream becoming true yet nothing could have ever prepared for it. No fantasy or dream could ever come close to the feeling of finally having the woman he loved kissing him, hugging him as if the world was about to end.

Even if Gwen wasn't saying anything, just as always, her feelings shine in her actions. The longing for a kiss they both had wanted for so long, the softness of her touch as she tried to be mindful of his back, the want she felt as after breaking apart to breathe she didn't take more time than she needed before kissing him again, showing all those feelings she wanted to keep at bay.

It was a few minutes before they finally stop, Gwen putting her forehead against his.

"So," He says, a bit hazy, the kissing may have messed up with his brain a bit but he was not complaining, "I guess that's a yes on being my girlfriend?"

Chuckling, he can't help but notice that he likes the sound of her laugh just as much as he likes feeling it as they hug, basking in her happiness like a sunflower following the sun "I will be mad if I wasn't."

"Cool"

"Cool," She repeats at him.

And then, out of nowhere an outside voice says "Cool, can I come in now?"

"DAD?!" Gwen screeches as detangles herself from him so quickly he hastily grabs the wall; yeah just because he pretended to be fine didn't mean he was. "What are you doing!?"

"Well, I was calling the restaurant to tell them the order on my way there, and they said the restaurant was packed and it was going take way longer than what I was expecting. I was going to ask if you wanted something else when I heard screaming and figure you didn't want me to be involved."

Gwen's shoulders drop, letting a tired sigh as she said "How much did you hear?"

"Not much, once I heard you talk about Peter and ah, what happened, I went outside to take a short walk, and now I just came back after hearing a bunch of cools, if there anything you want me to know?"

Miles's attention picked at that; not a 'what's going on' or 'what happened,' but directly asking if there was anything she was okay with sharing. Perhaps he has been aware of this issue more than Gwen gave him credit for.

He saw her tense, probably stressed out about what to do; so taking a couple of steps until he was right beside her, he took her hand and says "Hey, whatever you want to do, I'm here in your corner, okay?"

Gwen seemed surprised, before smiling back at him as she squeezed his hand "Thank you."

This was obviously, going to be a long road. The fears Gwen had were bigger than Miles, something more problematic and difficult than just a nice speech and a few kisses; but he was ready to do it all for her.

Because Spider-man doesn't has a 'The End,' just a 'to be continued', and he wanted to see what a route to her beside him would look like.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Oh man how the fuck I made this so goddamn long. This was going on for so long that I almost thought of adding another chapter, but no, I'm done; I have other things to work on. A big chunk of this chapter was written after I had seen the barbie movie, writing a good part on it with a lack of sleep and hearing "What I was made for" on loop at 2 am in the morning, and I think it shows. It wasn't written in one go but boy it wasn't without penance. Even if a lot of this was fueled by existentialism and other things that are illegal in other countries, I don't think this fic was ever going to get a happy, fluffy ending without some angst thrown at it. Aside from the fact that if you look at my other works this is the least surprising thing coming from me, this story has been about it even before I decided it wasn't a one-shot anymore. The fact that Gwen would go to absurd lengths to keep things a secret rather than having a mildly awkward conversation is present ever since the second chapter, and as easy as it could have been "We are both idiots how the fuck we put two and two together," that's not how I roll. I would apologize, but nah, this is my story after all, and it wouldn't be mine without someone losing their shit because believe they aren't good enough or something. I think that's all, I need to eat something (is 3:30 but I refused to eat until this was over,) and do other crap. If you like it please leave a comment and kudos! This story wouldn't have passed the first chapter without them.

#ghostflower #gwiles #miles morales #gwen stacy #fanfics #atsv #across the spiderverse

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pallastrology · 7 months

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FAQ 🪴 empty houses

hello friends :-) i thought today wed look at empty houses, one of the most frequently misinterpreted (in my opinion at least) parts of the natal chart! for more information on the houses, take a peek at these posts (1, 2, 3, 4)

an empty house refers to a house with no planets, points or other bodies. there's a case to be made for a house never being "truly" empty, because if you add enough minor bodies and points to a chart, you'll soon fill every house. but for the purposes of this post, i'm only really looking at planets.

there can be a lot of fear around empty houses, which is unfounded but totally understandable. when we hear the word empty, we think of a lack or a loss. something lonely. but when it comes to empty houses in the birth chart, this isn't quite how it works. instead, it's more like a lack of activation. a planet activates the house, but a planet not being there doesn't mean that area of life ceases to be; it just means that the energies of the planets aren't impacting that area. so next time you look at your empty fifth or seventh house and wonder if you'll ever find love, the answer is absolutely yes, you will 🤍 an empty house just means it isn't activated right now, which still doesn't mean nothing will happen in that area of life. it often means that these areas aren't a primary focus right now, or they aren't chaotic or emotionally heavy to manage. none of these are bad things, and in fact they imply an easy time, if not a particularly exciting one.

as an example, i have an empty third house, yet i am studying a foreign language and hope to make my career from writing. my educational history is very chaotic, and my siblings were a huge part of my life growing up. it might seem a bit strange that my third house is empty in that case, but in reality, there are a lot of other placements in my chart that "make up for" this empty house. when we start looking at individual placements and assigning strict rules and judgements to them, it becomes very difficult to actually interpret your chart and see where the connections lead. taking a step back when things aren't making sense is generally a wise move, as is getting a second opinion.

more to consider when talking about empty houses are transits and progressions. as we go through life, our natal planets progress through the signs and houses, just as we progress through our experiences and grow as people. it can be helpful to think of progressions as showing how we gradually adapt to what life throws our way, while transits are more like the events themselves; or rather, how we could react and respond to those events. so an empty house is never actually empty for very long, it will be activated and travelled through many times over the course of your life, and with hindsight and a keen eye, you might see some really important experiences start to line up with major transits and progressions. to go back to my example earlier, i took a really quick look through my own transits and progressions when i was planning out this post, and found a couple of interesting patterns based around my educational history, one of which i'm hoping will continue to be a positive influence as i take my next steps. again, taking a step back and looking at things from a new angle is usually the best thing to do if you're feeling lost or overwhelmed with a placement.

i hope this post can allay any fear you might feel about your own empty houses; there really isn't anything to be afraid of, and for some people an empty house is a blessing! it's often misunderstood and misinterpreted, but i hope this can help to reassure anybody who has struggled with this; i have done myself in the past and the wondering and worrying is awful. at the end of the day, our birth charts do not dictate or rule our lives; they're a list of potentials and patterns, and it is still up to ourselves how we live out our days.

kira xo

#pallastrology #astrology #astrology blog #astrology post #empty houses #houses in astrology #houses #faq #astrology for beginners

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shutupandplayasong · 1 year

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Ok ok ok time to talk about the show!!!!

(Warning this going to be beyond hectic I'm quite literally shaking with excitement and also it's 1 am)

Justin's floofy little hyena mohawk gives me LIFE it looks so good

Instead of the ukulele being tossed onto stage by someone below, the funeral director guy tosses it to Beej

After the sad puppet show BJ screams out "I'm burning! I'm burning! I thought this only happened to books that make kids gay!" And I literally gasped. I don't know if that was written into the script or if it was improv but holy shit

During TWBDT Part 2, when BJ tries to spell his name a second time, he pulls his sleeve back to read a little cheatsheet to spell it correctly. My illiterate little himbo ❤

Instead of "Sadness is like kale salad, no one likes it, throw it out" Delia says "Sadness is like a third nipple, it's a part of you but no one wants to see it"

During Charles and Lydia's dead mom argument, Delia is just waggling her triangle around and slow motion dancing. No thoughts, just vibes

When Charles and Delia are making out on the table, Charles is full on sniffing her foot and rubbing his face against it like a cat..... Chuck has a foot fetish confirmed.

Someone already posted about the guacamole story and jesus fucking christ man

When Barb gives her "best primal screams" she gives a very half hearted "blehhh" and then hits a fucking opera note on her second attempt?? I'm love ??

BJ'S MIC IS BEDAZZLED

It's also small enough to fit up his sleeve. Big spooky demon with this dinky tiny glittery microphone. I love it.

I swear to god in Charles' room there's this big ass sculpture that looks like a giant butt plug. I did an actual double take. I couldn't focus on anything else during that scene.

Except the fact that Delia had a juul pod im pretty sure?

After Say My Name, when the curtain drops, Adam is all like "We should bring the sheets" "No" "Well we should bring the sheets just in case" "Adam, no, come on!" "Ok I won't bring the sheets :("

After Beej is pushed off the roof a little puff of smoke is blown onto the stage like a cartoon

When Beej crawls out of the table when Lydia calls him there's this god awful squelching sound

After That Beautiful Sound, when BJ is explaining his plan to his clones, one of the women is stood there wiggling her fingers and popping her hips out and she's so cute!!

I never really cared about Otho but the man who played is a whole ass Shane Madej caricature and I kind of love him now

We unfortunately do not get red Beetlejuice, but for a split second the lights give him a similar effect and while it's not the same, I will take it. It's better than nothing I suppose

I love the yellow and blue suit on Justin he's so hampsome 🥺💞😭🥺💘😢💖💗😭

To fill in the awkward silence after the "we both have dead moms" joke, BJ fucking bounces on Juno's severed leg like a pogo stick????? It literally sucked the air out of my body and I had to force myself to breath so I didn't start wheezing and disrupting the whole auditorium

We got confetti'd after the curtain call and I grabbed 3 handfuls :) That's not really a note on the show, I just felt like sharing

Ok on to my feelings about the cast:

Justin:

Listen, no one can ever top Alex, but I'll be damned if Justin isn't a close second.

Just constantly screaming and doing his little dancy dance, even if it's during normal dialogue that does not call for screaming or dancy dancing.

Not much in the feral behavior department, but he sticks his tongue out so. much. A lot of sarcastic gasping too like sir close your mouth before bugs start crawling inside

He takes his sweet time finishing dialogue. There were several times where there would be a good 30 seconds of dead air, and every time the laughter died down it would start up and fill the silence again. I don't know what spell he cast to make the audience do that but it was a good one.

I'll be honest I wasn't so sure about him when the casting was announced but god damn it he just has so much charisma I want to get on all fours and bark for him

Im not taking that back btw you're gonna have to live with me saying that

Isabella:

My favorite Lydia hands down.

Her Lydia has so much attitude she's almost a bit of a bully. There's so much sarcasm and angst and anger in her delivery. She plays the moody teenage girl character well.

Not really an acting not but Isabella has such big, expressive eyes. Granted, I had pretty close seats, but you can still see her eye rolls and quirked eyebrows from the stage it's amazing.

Overall she's a fantastic Lydia and again, my absolute favorite. No shade to Sophie, but I feel like her Lydia was... a bit whiny and immature. Isabella is truly grieving her mother and you can see how much of a toll all these changes are having on her. I absolutely love the edge and the bite she brings to Lydia.

Britney and Will:

These two.

These two are out of fucking control for real.

Take the goof factor from the original Maitlands and crank that shit up to 11.

Gonna have to agree with Beetlejuice though, Will's Adam is quite sexy...

"Adam... You're boring. But! You're sexy. You should own that." *cue Will doing a full body roll*

I dont know if it's his height or voice or line delivery but he just seems a lot less... idk pathetic? than the original Adam. It's a nice change of pace. I always wished they did more to develop his character.

Britney brings a lot of spunk to Barbara. Like Barbara has always been the slightly more adventurous one in the relationship but Britney really makes her shine.

OG Barbara is a bit more subdued but Britney's body language is so big? I guess is the right word? So many big gestures and so much movement. Im always a big fan of when actors use their whole bodies to deliver their lines instead of just standing pin straight and talking.

Kate:

I've noticed a lot of people don't really like her Delia and while she isn't my number one favorite either, I still think she does a good job

OG Delia, I feel, is out of touch with the times and trying to be "hip" while still being old school. Kate's Delia is very much aware of "kids these days" and is an obnoxious try hard. I kind of like her take on the character in that sense.

Delia has absolutely no concept of personal space. She stands wayyyy to close to Lydia and whenever Lydia gets fed up, she gets in Delia's face to give her a taste of her own medicine. I LOVE the dynamic between them.

Also Kate's Delia is lowkey kind of bullied by Lydia? Like Lydia is actually pretty mean to her. Again, I love how Kate and Isabella interact with each other. There's a lot more turmoil and strain between these two that I feel was lacking in the original production (at least from what I've seen in the bootlegs I've watched).

Jesse:

Not as imposing or strict as OG Charles, but I like it. I don't prefer it, but I like it.

I feel like Jesse's Charles wears his heart on his sleeve? You can really hear how tired and lost and confused he is when he's struggling to communicate with Lydia.

I never cried while watching bootlegs but damn it, their performance of Home almost made me cry...

Also if anyone would like to drop me off at the theater tomorrow so I can snag those remaining $30 single seat tickets my address is-

#beetlejuice musical #beetlejuice the musical #a vck original #long post #beetlejuice

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marlenacantswim · 7 months

Note

Fic ask,,, The Editor,,, "You're Gonna Need to Call A Doctor."

You're Gonna Need to Call a Doctor

He's alive. For a brief moment, he thinks this unfortunate, as if he were dead, he wouldn't be experiencing the ghastly stench of his pulverized boss. Former, boss, he remembers. As the events of the past few hours return to him, he tentatively opens his eyes, and sees only complete darkness— a rarity for him. The overall silence in his mind seems to indicate a complete shutdown of the thought broadcast system, and the darkness probably means there's no power to floor 500. It's strange: he almost feels asleep.

See, to minimize any excess heat, lighting on floor 500 was kept to a minimum, which of course necessitated ocular enhancement for The Editor. As such, since being chosen all those decades ago, he could always see in the darkest of environments, even with closed eyes. Add to that his constant operator-level access to the stream of consciousness only ever deactivating for his monthly rest, and it becomes pretty clear why his idiotic human instincts are yearning for a hearty nap at the mo. How blissfully unaware of them.

Alright, enough of this stupidity: where the hell is he? He hears the sounds of searing and thick bubbling, so he can't have been out that long. The amount of heat going on is also tremendous, but living and working in an icebox for several decades hasn't exactly tempered his perception of temperature. He tries to move. There's a lot of wet resistance; his backside must be covered in Jagrafess sludge. "So disgusting," he moans to himself, pushing himself away from the chilled wall of the lifeless computer system. In his panic from Suki's bafflingly strong corpse-grip, he'd rolled himself under the main console as a last-ditch grasp at survival. A typically brilliant call on his part, seeing as the metal paneling retained its cold temperature, and likely shielded him from the onslaught of molten innards.

His struggling motion must set something off, because a single light somewhere in the room hums to life. It's on for maybe a second before it fizzles out, once again leaving him blind. "Woooow, how thoughtful," he muses to no one. As he continues to inch his way out, he notices both his legs can move completely unhindered. A devilish smirk crosses his face: "Ohh, see that, you mole? Really tried your best, didn't you?" Feeling around for the edge of the console, he pulls himself up to a sitting position. "All the good that did you, ay Suki? Still had some kindle of life in you, and you wasted it! Your husk boiled away, and I remain completely untouched!"

As if on cue, that same bulb from before reawakens. The first thing he sees after the writhing masses of sinew coating the place are his legs: his left, loafer still shiny, and about two thirds of his right— the only two thirds that seems to be remaining. "Aw, what? No, that— c'mon!" How annoying. It'll cost him at least 3,000 credits for a new one. The end of it, still sizzling, sits in a pool of what he first assumes is anti-freeze, before coming to the conclusion that no, actually: that's just what his blood looks like. He's never really seen it before; always assumed it looked like everyone else's— just how much altering did Max do to him?

Whatever. No time for an identity crisis— he's got to get out of here. For one, it smells like absolute rubbish, but more importantly, it can't be good that he's... leaking, and of course he's got to get the bum leg thing sorted. He's still got administrator clearance for the lift, he'll just go down to the 417th floor, fork over the credits for a leg prosthesis, and blend in with the citizens of Satellite Five until some new, decent opportunity presents itself. He pauses, staring at his reflection in the blue-ish pool of his own blood. His irises are so massive, and his pupils more jarringly so in the dim light. Would the masses even consider him human? The surgeons would probably take one look at the foreign substance seeping from his wound and report him to... well, himself, he supposes. This is what he gets for being too good at his job.

Maybe their expertly curated xenophobia is right, though. Would his name— his real name— even show up in their systems? What would a medical scan reveal? They'd probably find his genome more analogous with one of those cold-faring species. Regardless, It's been so long since another alien's been on the station, the medbay no longer carries anything but iron-based blood— certainly nothing resembling whatever's flowing through his veins. A frown forms, unbefitting of his face. "Bloody hell, I look pathetic," he spits. Fine. Screw it. Guess he's having this identity crisis now. Who the hell even is he without the Jagrafess's influence? Not that it was particularly grand; must've been a pretty flimsy system if it only took one fool and a lucky break to blow it up completely. All that aside, it still gave him power and purpose, and now what has he got?

He perks up— Knowledge. He tilts his head, and a foxy grin sneaks back onto his mien. He's got knowledge. Valuable, valuable knowledge. Knowledge of the Doctor, and his time-traveling capabilities. That anomaly and his human plaything may have squandered his previous, let's say, "business endeavor," but they've shown themselves to be a far more lucrative investment opportunity. He brings himself to his fee— foot. To his foot, and cackles. "Oh Doctor," he sneers, "won't you be excited to see me again." Perhaps there are some benefits to his unexpected survival. How many people in the universe know that there's a Time Lord frolicking about spacetime unsupervised? How fewer can identify him by face alone? The Editor gives another scan of the alien remains around him, and bursts out laughing. "Sorry for the late notice, Max, but my resignation still stands. I think it will greatly benefit both of us." He points at a lifeless eyeball that wound up in the chair next to him— "Can I put you down as a reference?"

As he hears the metered sound of the approaching lift, he puts on his most pathetic pitiable face, and begins weaving his sob story.

It's about time he became his own boss, don't you reckon?

#is there really any practical difference between 'five lines' and uhm #'ten paragraphs?'#anyways what if i took a one-off doctor who villain and made him down bad for the doctor and also Still Alive?#and expanded his lore because i took the 'simply being human doesn't pay very well' line literally #these are the benefits you get when you're portrayed by simon pegg #sorry this took so long whoop; i forgot she was in my inbox #how to doctor who tags work uhmmm #simon pegg #doctor who #nuwho #the editor #the long game #running my mouth #made this with my hands #sometimes i write #ask and you shall receive

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the-way-of-words · 1 year

Text

For These Empty Nights

Noah Sebastian, Holly(ofc), Nick Ruffilo

content warnings: brief mention of oral sex

This is rpf. I know this isn't real. These are fictionalized versions of real people. Not your jam? Hit the back button.

Part of the PolyVerse // MasterList

<Noah> So, how's the date?

<Holly> Terrible. 10/10 would not recommend.

<Noah> That bad, huh?

<Holly> Enough to make me question why I bother.

<Noah> Need an out?

<Holly> You're a saint. <3

Holly's phone rings as soon as her date returns to the table. She gives him an apologetic look as she answers.

"Hey, everything okay?"

"Well, not really, see, my friend is on this terrible date."

"Oh no, that's awful."

"Isn't it?… So, I'm gonna need her to leave. For her sanity."

"Okay, no problem. I'm on my way."

Noah chuckles as she hangs up, and she pushes away the feeling it stirs. Eyes back on her date, Holly clears her throat, “Aaron, I’m sorry, my friend’s car just broke down right outside of town, and she needs someone to pick her up. I’m afraid we’re going to have to cut tonight short.”

Aaron’s mouth turns down for a split second before he huffs a laugh, “Yeah, okay. If she needs you, I guess this is the end, huh?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Holly starts, “I really am sorry.” He stands when she does and tries to rebuff her when she pulls out some money for her half of dinner, but she talks him into it in the end. They share an awkward hug and then Holly’s on her way home. She meant it when she said that she was sorry, Aaron’s a good guy, attractive in all the right ways, kind, and funny; but there just wasn’t anything there.

So, with Nick tied down, Holly’s concluded that she should try to find someone for herself, even though the voice in the back of her head that whispers she's already got someone she wants to be with, but she pushes that voice way down. She's ignored that train of thought for the past four months. Since the night she slept with not only Nick but Noah as well. Waking up the following morning to a head between her thighs; Noah's whisper of can I? waiting for a breathless yes before eating her out like a man starved.

This makes the third unsuccessful date in as many months. She's not big on the dating scene and doesn’t put herself out there often. But her and Nick's situation ended a few months ago after he started seeing Lys. Holly’s happy for him, Lys is a brilliant girl, she is; she just seems to have a problem with one of Nick’s closest friends being a woman. They got along great when Nick introduced them, but then it changed. While she doesn’t know who Lys talked to, they thought she needed to know about the casual sex Holly and Nick sometimes have. She doesn’t know the extent of Lys and Nick's conversation, but when he called her to talk about it, he sounded tired and a little hurt. Holly misses him like an ache sometimes, her best friend, but she understands that if Lys makes him happy, she can respect the woman’s boundaries. No matter how much it might sting.

She knew there would be a change afterward, she just didn't know it would be as a closer relationship growing between her and Noah. Didn't expect him asking for her number, and if it was okay to text her if he wanted to talk before Nick drove her home. She thinks they've talked more in the past four months than they ever have in the time they've known each other and her phone's in her hand as soon as she's home, thumb hovering over his contact. Sighing, she presses the call button before she can talk herself out of it. He answers almost immediately.

"How'd he take it?"

"He knew what was happening, but he was polite about it."

Her insides melt when she hears his laugh from the other end.

"So what are your plans for your now free evening?"

"Well, usually I'd call Nick, but that's off the table, so…"

He’s silent for a moment as if he’s trying to find the right words.

"... Do you miss him?"

"I miss having sex with him if that's what you're asking."

The comment gets her nothing but more silence because they both know there’s more.

"Okay and him too. She's not super into him hanging around the girl he used to have casual sex with. I can see where she's coming from, but it's not all we did. We're actually friends."

He’s still quiet, so she laughs nervously, unsure how the conversation took this turn and changes the subject.

"So, what's your Friday looking like?"

"Oh, just another exciting day of finalizing tour stuff."

"That's right, you big-time rock stars head out in a few weeks."

She hears a scoff.

"I wouldn't say big time…"

“Oh, stop being modest. You guys have been everywhere lately, and deservingly so.

Just don't forget about us regular people when you fully reach the top."

"I don't think it's possible to forget about you."

He says it easily, yet something in his voice gets to her. This isn't the first time it's happened either. If she's honest, they're both tip-toeing around the possibility of something more profound than what they already have. Once again, though, she pushes the thought away, and goes for humor instead.

"Duh, I'm awesome."

Noah laughs, and it makes her smile.

"That you are, Holly. That you are."

“Guess I'll let you go, get back to your important tour stuff. I have some bad tv to

catch up on."

"Enjoy your bad tv. I'll talk to you later.”

"Night."

It's quiet, without his voice in her ear, and as loathe as she is to admit, she's a little lonely without it.

Bad tv only gets her so far, but she can’t focus. Too wrapped in thoughts of Noah—Nick too, not that she’d admit it though. Sighing, she turns the tv off, deciding to go through the motions of her nightly routine. By the time she's in bed, it’s late but Holly’s listless. Tossing and turning when she should sleep, resisting the urge to reach for her phone. Because, no; she’s not going to message Noah, not again.

In the end, she picks up her phone, but it's not Noah she reaches out to.

<Holly> Help.

<Nick> Isn't it a little late into your date for help? I mean, I'll call, but…

<Holly> Oh, it's not that, Noah got me out of that an hour ago.

<Nick> Oh, he did, did he?

<Holly> Yep. But now I'm bored.

…

Waiting for Nicks' reply, Holly watches as the dots dance up and down her screen. She can almost hear his panic from across town.

…

<Nick> And how can I help?

<Holly> Oh, stop freaking out. I can hear you from here.

I wouldn’t ask for that. I can respect boundaries.

She pauses after she sends the message before typing again.

<Holly> I just miss you is all.

As my friend.

<Nick> I know. I'm sorry I haven't been around as much.

…

Want to get lunch tomorrow? Just us.

Her chest warms, because of course she wants to, that’s not the question, the question is:

<Holly> Is Lys gonna be okay with that?

<Nick> We'll see.

<Holly> Well, either way, I'm in

<Nick> So. You and Noah talk now.

<Holly> What? We're friends. We text, just like you and me.

<Nick> Oh, is that all?

<Holly> Goodnight Nick.

<Nick> Tell me more about how you and Noah are texting.

<Holly> I SAID GOODNIGHT

There's no stopping the smile on her face. Because even when things are off between them, something about Nick just makes her feel settled. Even better, she feels she can finally sleep now.

… And if Holly dreams of a certain tall, tattooed man, that's her business.

She should have known the promise of lunch with just Nick was too good to be true, when he calls her midmorning, voice somber.

“Hey, so… I won’t be able to make lunch today.”

It’s not unexpected, and while she won’t admit it, there's a piece inside of her that cracks.

“Oh… Okay.”

“I’m sorry Holly.”

And the thing is; she knows he means it, but that doesn’t make this space that’s formed between them hurt any less. She clears her throat, aiming for casualness as she replies.

“Hey, no worries. Shit happens. We’re still getting together before next week though, right?”

“Of course we are. Can’t leave without a proper last hurrah.”

He says it so easily, like it's obvious, because that’s what they’ve always done. But even as the words leave his mouth, Holly knows. She knows she probably won’t see him before he leaves for tour. While she admires his optimism, she can already feel the walls building inside, a barrier widening the ever-growing space between them. Something to protect herself from one of the few people she never thought she’d need to. There’s a lump growing in her throat that she has to swallow down before she speaks again.

“Just tell me when and where and I’ll bring the wine.”

“You got it. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Later.”

In the end, they don't end up seeing each other at all before he leaves. All Holly gets is a text that he's about to board at the airport and that he'll miss her. She leaves him on read for a few days out of spite.

#rpf #bandom fic #bad omens #bad omens rpf #noah sebastian/ofc #noah sebastian #nicholas ruffilo

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prettyboykatsuki · 1 year

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You. I don't know what you eat or what your hand and mind is made of but let me tell you your "How to be a dog" gojo fic literally had me in tears of joy. I found it randomly one day and my dumbass forgot to like the fic and I almost cried cuz I couldn't find it ANYWHERE no matter how much I searched. I'm not exaggerating this when I say it's a fucking masterpiece. I want it tattooed in my mind, I want to print it out and glued it on all over my walls. Please don't ever delete the story and never, ever stop writing. I am in awed at how much talent a person can have. The way you wrote gojo is so intoxicating and phenomenal like holy shit you need to write for him more. How did you do it? Literally how? God you're so good at writing I am at a loss for words. If you don't mind, I have a few requests and questions, first, what is your writing process? How did you get so good? Second, can you do character analysis on gojo? I wanna read your thoughts about him so bad. Third, can you give me writing tips on 1. How to create dialogues that'll makes sense coming out of the character's mouth, 2. how to make a character not go ooc, and 3. description?

P.s: Thank you so much for creating "How to be a dog" 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 (I'm still not done talking about this)

im going to CRY ANON HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

first of all im glad you were able to find me again!!!!! i only learned recently that people used likes to store fics afdkjsdkj but it makes me very happy that you enjoyed it enough to do that!!!!!! second of all thank you for your kind words... a masterpiece!!! u want to turn it in to wallpaper i am so so so honred by that thank you.

dw i wont ever delete any of my fics. im too stubborn and leaving them up for the most part is like important to me. im so glad u liked gojo in it!! that sick freak. i spent a lot of time crafting his insane behaviors like a blacksmith at a forge dskjfshdkj

my writing process is just me being deranged tbh!! i do most of my best writing in my kitchen when im listening to music and idea pops up and i start expanding on it!! other than that im not much of a planner so i just play it by ear dfvkjfd i never outline or anything

as for my thoughts on gojo i have a post about it right here!!

and for dialogue my biggest piece of advice is watch the anime, read the manga, and listen to dub to get a feel for how a character talks. how do they shift tone towards the end of a sentence? how long do they talk? are they word or concise? do they use big and complicated words or are they clear but simple? etc etc.

and once you get a feel for their speech patters, READ YOUR DIALOGUE OUT LOUD LIKE YOU WERE ACTING IT!! i think a lot of dialogue that sounds stiff is just bc it sounds Written but dialogue should sound like it's inteded to be Voiced. i hope that helps

(AND THANK U AGAIN FOR UR ASK...MEANS A LOT!!!)

#return to sender #htbad.fic #hall of fame

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samethyst01 · 11 months

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A Mother's Love: Chapter Two

It wouldn’t be until the early hours of the evening that Coraline would return home. Despite her session with Ingrid only finishing at 3:30PM, it took her a while to muster up the energy to get on the bus. After she left Ingrid’s office, she simply sat on the nearest bench and thought about everything for a long time.

The young woman felt pathetic. Not once in the thirteen years since her escape from the Other World had she felt so… cornered. All of a sudden she was cold and isolated, every waking moment spent thinking about the crushing horror of what she had been forced to live through. Not only was she processing it fully in her mind, thinking on every detail, but the implications were finally catching up to her, implications that turned the simple fear into a very real dread.

The first thought, brief though it was, was that she was delusional. It was quickly bullied out the back of her mind by the arguments, ones she had practised over the years in case someone decided to question her story. Spink had showed her those tea leaves, they’d both seen that terrible dark hand curled around her soul. And Wybie – oh, Wybie… he’d been there with her almost from day one, and while it took him time to really believe it, eventually he did. She still felt guilty for it being in the way it was – a disembodied hand dragging him towards that awful well – but that part wasn’t up to her.

The second, third, fourth and countless other thoughts after that were that it was all true, and that was neither comforting nor reassuring. Because if it was all true – and it had to all be true, either all or none of it – then that meant only one thing. It meant that the darkness lurking below the world, below humanity, the great and terrible threat of otherworldly evil, was real too. And if that was the case, then she wouldn’t be the only one affected by it.

That thing in the Other World would find itself a new victim, a new meal to feed itself and its terrible house, if the plan had failed, if she hadn’t managed to starve it to death. Could it even die? Was it even possible for such a monster to fade away, give up and just dissipate? And what of the Cat? Why was she seeing him again, and why now? What the hell was happening? And why was it consuming her mind?

After enough time had passed, Coraline gathered herself and hopped on the next bus, which was thankfully only a ten minute wait. On the journey back, she kept her headphones off and just listened to herself think. It was a welcome change, one brought on by her desire for mental clarity. Just this once… she needed quiet. Fortunately, there were only a few other passengers on the bus and none of them made any loud noises.

The young woman simply rested her head on the window and stared out at the evening skyline… praying it didn’t turn into a button.

******

The sky was a palette of deep indigo and orange when Wybie came home. Coraline had been lying face-down on the couch ever since she got home, so when the door opened with a creak, she didn’t have the energy to turn around and face him. She heard a slight chuckle accompanying the sound of keys being set down in a small bowl.

“Are you dead?”

He was answered by a long, deep groan of exhaustion, at first.

“I feel like I am…”

Coraline heard footsteps and then felt a weight press down on the couch next to her, before hearing words whispered into her left ear, which was slightly hidden behind her hair.

“I brought pizza.”

And that was enough for her. She smiled softly, turning around and sitting up, seeing her best friend. He’d removed his heavy jacket and was wearing a plain grey t-shirt, his face slightly dirty with engine grease. Over by the countertop were two steaming boxes, wide but short, the smell of freshly baked dough escaping from them. Wybie stretched slightly.

“I didn’t know if you’d eaten already, but I just had this feeling you might—”

He was cut off suddenly as Coraline grabbed him and pulled him into a tight embrace, her arms wrapped around his torso, her face buried in his chest. He was momentarily caught off guard but quickly placed his own arms around her, holding her. Something had happened.

“Rough day, dragonfly…?

At his words, she sniffled softly, her grip tightening.

“Okay. I got you.”

Wybie gently stroked her hair, countless thoughts racing through his mind. Had somebody died? That was his first thought. No, that couldn’t have been it, she would’ve called him immediately, she would’ve been crying. When her grandmother died she was distraught, despite only having visited the old woman a few times each year. Coraline was an emotional person; she was in touch with her feelings. No, it was something else. Something far more complicated.

Maybe it was just a bad day. He knew her struggles, knew she suffered with her obsession over making everything perfect, and that she could barely provide for herself with her passion, working herself to death over what could ultimately turn out to be nothing. Maybe this was just one of those days. Or maybe it was…

He cursed the idea and pushed it away. It wasn’t that, it wasn’t her. Besides, whatever it was, Coraline would eventually tell him. She almost never kept things from him, especially if it were so significant as to make her behave like this. She hadn’t hugged him so tightly since her anxiety attack a few months ago. Rationalising that everything would turn out okay, Wybie buried any thoughts of the past – distant and frightening – and focused on the now.

“C’mon. Let’s chow down before it gets cold.”

Coraline chuckled softly at the mention and lifted her head up, her eyes very slightly wet with subtle teardrops.

“It better be stuffed crust.”

******

Diamond Dogs Pizza was not unlike any other fast food place in the area. In fact it wasn’t even the best pizza joint, objectively speaking, that spot belonged to Maroni’s Italiano just a mile or two away, where everyone went for their fancy dinners and special treats. And they did do delivery, and Coraline and Wybie had tried it before and concurred that yes, objectively, it was the best. But it could never beat DD’s.

On the very first night of the very first day that the two of them had moved into their apartment in Pontiac, the two friends had decided to christen the place with a big, greasy pizza. Nothing fancy, nothing expensive, just something familiar. They’d briefly considered Domino’s, but the idea quickly died when they saw DD’s website. It was adorned with weird, almost liminal-esque artwork, giving at an earnest feel that piqued their interest, and overall it just felt… right.

So it was decided. And when their pizzas arrived, side of fries and a couple of drinks alongside it, they both knew it would be a joint they’d stick with. They didn’t even have to taste it to know. But when they did, it was a fresh slice of heaven. Whatever worries, concerns or fears the two had melted away as they shovelled slice after slice into their mouths. It made them feel right at home. And better yet, Coraline fancied she could remember her parents ordering from DD’s when they used to live in the area, and that familiar taste brought back waves of nostalgia. It was like a dream come true.

And so, in the present day, just like it had those few years ago, Diamond Dogs Pizza cured all. Wybie had lit a few candles, dimmed the lights, and poured himself and Coraline some wine. To any silent observers it might’ve looked like a date, but the low lighting and Chardonay were simply small additions to help them both relax. Wybie knew something was coming, a big talk, where Coraline would spill all the beans about what had happened to put her in such a low mood, and for it to go smoothly he knew she needed to have the perfect environment.

After about ten minutes of silence between the two, where they simply loaded up on steamy pizza and a few gulps of wine to prepare themselves, Coraline wiped her mouth, took a deep breath and began to loosen the knot. It was time to talk.

“So, uh… I saw Ingrid today.”

Wybie finished his slice before replying.

“Oh yeah? How’d it go?

“Yeah, it went… it went well. We talked about a lot of things.”

“Like what?”

Wybie started on another slice, knowing Coraline wouldn’t mind as long as he was paying attention, which he was.

“Like the Pink Palace.”

Her words slowed his movements almost to complete stasis for a second. It was a touchy subject for them both, less so for Wybie considering he only suffered a brief glimpse of the horrors Coraline had been put through, but nonetheless. The words conjured up memories – of his grandmother, of the mist, of the forbidden house he could never venture close enough to touch, let alone wander inside of… and of the hand. Coraline told him in the days after their encounter with it where it came from, what monster it belonged to, but even in isolation the thing was enough to occupy his mind for years.

He took a hefty swig of wine and finished his slice.

“Oh. That’s, uh…”

He trailed off, not knowing what to think. This wasn’t what he’d hoped for. But damn what he hoped for, Coraline was hurting and she needed to talk about it. He could stow away the personal fears until later. He would listen.

Sensing his palpable discomfort, Coraline reached out a hand to touch her friend’s.

“I’m sorry to bring this up. I don’t wanna think about it, trust me, we’re on the same page. But I should.”

His gaze lifted up from the table and met hers.

“I saw your painting.”

Coraline’s smile cracked for a second and she felt backed into a corner. What was she supposed to say? What was there to say? She retracted her hand and looked away, feeling shameful. Wybie bit his lip and stammered slightly, having not meant to make her feel so guilty.

“I-I liked it. It was beautiful. Like all the others.”

With some hesitancy, Coraline slowly shifted her gaze back to his. His smile – honest and soul-baring – diffused her anxiety almost instantly. She chuckled softly and sipped on her wine.

“Thanks…”

There was an awkward silence for a moment, both of them struggling to find the words, before Wybie shattered it with an enthusiasm that broke Coraline’s heart.

“If we gotta go back there, Coral, if it’s not over— I know some hard-working guys, I’ve got connections! We could bring the hammer down on that place, on her!”

She fiddled with her hands beneath the table.

“I never said it was like that… but if it was, you know I couldn’t take you. I put you in enough danger already, once before, and I won’t do it again.”

Her voice was firm, steadfast, and it made Wybie’s smile disappear. This would’ve been his chance to make things right, to help her kill her demons, once and for all. And he wasn’t lying; at work, he’d spoke to some genuine and dedicated guys, all of whom knew his best friend had gone through something terrible once. They didn’t know the details, of course, but they had offered on multiple occasions to go back to that place with Wybie and Coraline and work with her for closure’s sake. A lot of them were dads. Some had daughters of their own. They wanted to help.

“And besides… I never mentioned… her.”

Coraline finished off the wine in her glass and ate another slice.

“You mean your Other Mother?”

Another moment that slowed time to a crawl, only this time it was Coraline on the receiving end. She clenched her fists so tight that she was convinced she’d shatter the wine glass. Maybe she should have, just to express her feelings about that particular subject. She swallowed hard and gave Wybie a very intense glare.

“Don’t call her that. She was never my mother.”

Wybie looked away, now the one to feel guilty and shameful. He was about to try and apologise, but he was interrupted as Coraline pushed out her chair and stood up, heading for her bedroom. Wybie stood up just as quickly.

“Wait, Coral! I’m sorry…”

For a moment, the young woman stood in the doorway to her bedroom, her icy demeanour thawing into a kind of sluggish acceptance. The night had been ruined, not by one or either of them but by the past. She sighed and gently shook her head, turning back slightly.

“It’s not your fault. I’m just tired.”

And with that she headed into the room beyond and closed the door. Wybie rubbed his mouth with a hand and fell back down onto the couch, feeling horrible. He didn’t believe her, that it wasn’t his fault, though he wanted to. He just wished he could rewrite the evening, go back, make things right. He wished he could travel to that moment when they met those many years ago, and tell his best friend, his dragonfly, not to go through that damn little door. Maybe then he could have saved her thirteen long years of remembering that horror.

But he wasn’t a time traveller, nor a god, nor anything but a human being who had to live with what happened in his life. He could fix cars and bikes and buses and trains but he couldn’t fix the past. And maybe that was for a good reason. Regardless, he felt impotent and ashamed. He laid back on the couch, wondering to himself how he was ever going to make this right. He knew he had to, though. For Coraline’s sake, and maybe for his too.

Because above all… above all… he knew he couldn’t let the witch win.

******

By the time Coraline was awoken from her restless sleep, it was pitch black and deep into the early hours of the morning. She had been crying, her pillow still wet with her tears, and she hadn’t even bothered to undress or get under the covers. She was so exhausted, mentally exhausted, and it felt like the entire world was crumbling around her. Just like the Other World… just like—

She had forced that thought out of her mind, punching her pillow over and over again until she just couldn’t muster the strength anymore. That was it, that was enough, she had to rest. And so she did, for a few scant hours, nothing close to a relaxing slumber. Her dreams were a cacophony of violence and discord, beasts with needles for fingers clawing at her back, terrifying creatures made from string and vegetables and flesh, with those horrible buttons for eyes, pulling at her ankles and dragging her back into that hell, that world of pure nightmares.

And just when it was getting too much for her mind to deal with, when the cackling of her long-gone demons were closing in, she felt a presence next to her. She had assumed, at first, that Wybie had come to apologise, but the more she began to wake up, the more she doubted that notion. This presence was smaller, and pressed down four small weights on her every time it walked, and it was—

—purring.

Coraline suddenly jolted awake, fear driving itself through her veins, coming face to face with the deep blue shine of two familiar feline eyes. The Cat was sat atop her chest, staring at her like he had on the night he came to tell her the witch lived, and there was still work to do. She felt a pit deep in her stomach and knew what he had come to tell her. She knew it wasn’t done yet. She knew… she had to go back to that place.

She knew the Beldam lived once more.

#coraline #fanfic #horror

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lordrandreaming · 1 year

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73 hours, 159 level ups. I beat Elden Ring.

I bit the bullet, after fighting Dragonlord and defeating him, i then went on to first try all the final bosses of this masterpiece.

First of my Endgame tour, was Dragonlord. What a PAIN in the Ass to fight. Took me three tries. Of course, being a FromSoft game, Elden Ring's optional fights are the hardest. Malenia and Placidusax are no exeptions. But, at least, Malenia doesn't fucking teleport around. Sure, she's hard. But.. Placidusax is just terrible. One day, im going to get all the Sorceries/Incantations for the trophy, and when i do.. I'll be one overleved sorcerer. But as for Daedra, FUCK NO! He's not going to go against Placi for a VERY long time, if ever again. Hated this boss. If you do this boss, be a VERY high level. I was 152. Recommending being 160 and higher with ALOT of vigor.

Second.. Maliketh. My fucking FAVORITE fight in this whole game.. First tried. Best music, my all time favorite boss and character. He's what really got me wanting Elden Ring, so to beat him first try was.. Unbelievable to me. I thought he was an optional Endgame boss.. Like Farum Azula was optional to go to. But NOPE get FUCKED emotions. I love him so much.. Plus, I completed Gurranq's quest before doing Mali, so i got the special dialogue i wanted. :) Fav boss 10/10 will always look forward to fighting him.

Third, Gideon. I destined deathed his ass.. First try. He didn't even hit me- I sure showed him! Becoming Elden Lord and all. So sad that he chooses to fight against us as he doesn't believe a Tarnished could even be Elden Lord. Shame, he woulda been a good advisor for us.

Fourth, Godfrey. Annoying second phase, but overall a pretty fun fight. First try. Poor Serosh.. Godfrey is such a good guy though. Commending us for our strength and how a crown befits it.. Aww thanks man. Basically the first boss to be like 'WOW man. Your strong. Go for it.' Chivalry's not dead!

Fifth.. Radagon/Elden Beast. My gods.. Where do i begin? Radagon is an asskicker, that's for sure.. Poor fucking guy. First try. Kicked me and my Mimic Tear's asses like were nothing! I so wish we could do something for him, other than just killing him. I won't get into his lore and so fourth, but he was probably a pretty good guy, not motivated politically like Marika, kinda almost opposite of her. He was everything Marika didn't want to be. And i wish we could help Rennala too.. Fought the good fight, but in the end it just wasn't enough Rada 💔

Elden Beast, what a beautiful boss theme omfg.. Only had 5 flasks when i started with 12 on Radagon. Annoying because it can just go under the water.. But not as awful as Dragonlord. A good Final Boss, since its a 2-for-1 kinda deal. Drained me of all my crimson, but i still bested it.

The ending i got? I got the Duskborn Ending. And.. I got chills. I fucking love this game, and am crying. Just watching death be restored to the Land's Between.. People can finally just die again, things will never be the same though. Just Daedra, sitting on that throne, watching.. It felt profound, yet oddly comforting. I didn't get the same feeling i did after DS3, because after DS3 i felt a little... Hollow. Haha! Get it? Anyway.. I instantly hopped into NG+ as i got addicted to DS3.

With Elden Ring though, it was rather accomplishing. I think i forgot a Talisman for the legendary Talisman trophy, but seeing the Erdtree and Roundtable hold on fire.. It felt so empty. So. Entered Ng+ like a madman, and now I'm going to do it all over again! Yknow.. Except for Dragonlord (ESPECIALLY Dragonlord.), Fortissax, and Malenia. I don't even need to explain.. Lol

But then again, I ran through all DS3 bosses way after i capped NG+7. And i mean.. All of them. Even the DLC bosses. I found it fun to fight Midir in NG+7. Gael not so much, but you know :) Souls player's love doing crazy shit.

My plans are so- I either stay in NG+ as Dae, get/wait to get Age of Stars ending, or i move on and do as i did in DS3 and NG+7 the game before the DLC comes out. Or.. OR I take Tennren, my Sorcerer Build and do the Age of Order ending. THEN do the DLC with him, before diving in with Daedra. But I'll probably have Daedra go through the DLC first, because :)

The EldenSoulsBorne series is just a magnificent series, renound for it's twisting and turning lore, incredible stories to be uncovered and pondered- the punishing difficulty, staggering new player's, causing them to just drop the game, never to return. It happens with all the Souls games, if you don't know what your doing.

But these games, once you learn one, you will find it a breeze to go through all the other ones. I learned DS3 after about.. A whole three months of playing it, i think? It came out April, in 2016.. I bought it then. But took like.. A week break, because it was just so hard.

But the journey.. It was incredible. I'm so utterly blown away by all the stories Souls has to offer. All stories are beautiful, yet similar. So different, but are almost the same.. It's something I've never encountered before. EldenSoulsBorne will always habe place as #1 in my heart, because it just.. Speaks to me.

As I've said, I've completed DS3, Bloodborne, Dark Souls 1, and now Elden Ring. DS2 is on its way to being completed.. I'm a fairly decent level and don't exactly expect too much trouble with the DLC's and endgame. But man..

Elden Ring hits different. All Souls have that unique hit on you, actually.. No Souls game will punch you in the heart and dick the exact same way.. I will always cherish these games, and the impact they made on my life.

If you haven't played one of the aforementioned games, i suggest, that if you are ever so eager, to start with Dark Souls 3. It's among the easier side of Souls games, but its still plenty challenging. These games prove difficult at first, but they are oh so rewarding when you learn them.

Thanks for reading.

#mori speaks #elden ring #elden ring oc #OC: Daedra #souls post #hehehohee im already progressing super fast

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tirayuanshen · 1 year

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Hello! This is just me asking for your spoiler-filled thoughts after finishing Sumeru's Archon quest because I saw you finished and I have so many feelings myself and would love to read yours.

HI SORRY FOR THE DELAY LETS GO (SPOILER WARNING)

Sumeru's quest was SUCH a step up from the past archon quests. In act 2, I loved how you actually felt the emotions of the traveler as they were stuck in the samsara (I remember very clearly how, when Paimon told Dunyarzad "sorry we overslept", I was like "that's not gonna leave a great impression since you guys had the same reason yesterday 😭" until everything started happening exactly the same and I was like. hold tf up. And then the whole mystery of what's going on was very immersive too, with all the reasoning steps taken to figure out the truth - like my mental gears were actually turning along with the traveler trying to figure it out, though of course the truth was way beyond what I could imagine. Nilou's dance scene was gorgeous, and Dunyarzad was one really great NPC that I genuinely liked.

3.1 had some really cool parts that I love to go back to - the cutscene talking about Deshret and Rukkhadevata (it's quite sad to see that Kasala tells the desert-dwellers to not forget of what Rukkha did for the desert, yet in the end, they did :'( ) and SCARAMOUCHE'S BACKSTORY ANIMATION!! oh my god that was the key that turned me from being "eh he's alright. a bit extra perhaps. interesting bits of backstory so far" into "I would bark for you, king". His CN VA did a really great analysis of that video that stated his interpretation - the "second betrayal" is a mockery of the friends and family that he doesn't have, and "third betrayal" is actually his bitterness that he couldn't do anything for the kid, and all of that just solidified into an anger since nothing ever turns out happily for him. For someone who's not quite human, his characterization is so human in a painful way that displays all of humanity's ups and extreme downs. Scaramouche is just such a fascinating character.

3.2 ARCHON QUEST!! Such a good finale omfg. The best parts, for me, were any moments with either Nahida or Scaramouche (or both). The way i was like simping when the illusion of Scara spoke to the traveler? His lofty, "godly" tone was like... aw you're so into the role that it's almost cute haha.

When we went to break Nahida out of her locked consciousness and you hear her talking to herself about all her efforts being met with disdain and abandonment, and her voice was so heartbroken and choked that my heart shattered into a million pieces... and also the traveler spoke!! Definitely worth remembering.

Scara boss fight(s). God. For one, his battle themes SLAP. Two, voice acting was so key here, and I think the CN VA was phenomenal - while in the mecha, he still has that lofty, deliberate voice of a "god" - but when he's defeated, you can hear the panic and desperation hitting him like a sledgehammer. The change in tone is just that audible. Honestly that scene where he lost the gnosis made me feel so bad for him 😭😭 he's usually so arrogant and temperamental but this thing, the reason why he even exists, has such a hold over him. His expressions were also heartbreaking 😭

But the angst doesn't end, because there was the Nahida and Rukkhadevata scene and the tears were POURING down my face because, again, the voice acting was great (you could hear Nahida's voice getting higher and airy from tears) and also the expressions, I think it's the first time we've had such realistic intense crying in the game. Rukkha is someone we've only known for a single scene, yet it was enough for me to feel really sad that the entire world would forget her and her benevolence. Zhongli's line "Those who come to witness will witness, those who are born to remember will remember" hits real different here.

in summary, i love the gods of sumeru that we met in this quest (i count scara in this category)

#ask

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lightfromandromeda · 2 years

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media progress

was making a big big post that got deleted so im trying again hhhhhhh. me thoughts on what ive watched/read/listened to about classic who, eu, some nuhwo

Second Doctor

I finished the second doctor awhile ago and i fucking adored him. he was just a silly old man and he cared about his friends so much ;w; i thought it was rly sweet that he took in victoria but also like my man this fuckin babey child lost everything and ur putting her into terrifying and dangerous situations like SIR. i lov LOVED the rly sweet moments she and the doctor had tho, specifically the one in the tomb of the cybermen where theyre taking turns sleeping. and when she left, jamie was so devastated he cares he much. hes a huge women protector and if theres no women around to protect he only has a half hour til his brain explodes. LOVE THIS MAN. HES A FUCKING GOOFBALL. hes brave, headstrong, and denser than a brick and with a heart of pure gold. and zoe. zoe my fucking bb grill. first of all i absolutely love it when she tears ppl into shreds with her huge brain. and like,,, i know it rly wasnt addressed again but i rly felt with her struggle of being so logical and computer like that ppl would give her a hard time about not being emotional (OH THE IRONY) and i wished that was addressed more? i like how her and the doctor are on the same like intellectual wavelength and he and jamie will tease her about it a lil like ‘oh did u calculate that too’ and she’ll be like yeah i fucking did what did u do huh huh. she was the best and these three were my fav team in a long time. all of their departures made me so sad but im also surprised it wasnt sadder? jamie and zoe being forced back where they were when the doctor picked them up and they dont wanna go!!!!! but when theyre told they have to theyre like aw :( alright like NO MAKE A STINK ABOUT IT!!!! especially zoe!!!! shes just going back to ppl who wouldnt rly listen to her or take her seriously as a person and i think she shouldve been more upset honestly!!!!! i loved it tho when the doctor and the other time lords were watching jamie when he got back to his time and he immediately sees a redcoat and is like ‘oh ill get this bastard’ and chases after him with a knife while the doctor just smiles and laughs cUZ THATS HIS BEST FUCKING FRIEND. GUHHUGHG. i love how throughout the doctors life he still loves jamie and thinks of him as one of his best friends ever. the second doctor is definitely somewhere in the top for me out of all the doctors ive seen. ill prob listen and read a bunch of his short trips and other stories thru big finish with him

Third Doctor

uh oh grumpy!!!! grumpy guy!!!! grumpy guy thats pissed off at his ppl for stranding him on earth!! but ofc hes still got some silliness in him, i dont think he could survive without it. i thought this was a fun setup for the doctor cuz it rly challenges him. he cant go where he pleases, hes stuck using very limited or primitive technology, hes sent along or dragged places when things get fucky and has to sort them out, has to deal with soldiers, other military ppl, ppl of authority that 90% of the time doesnt listen to him, and he fucking hates it. and he hates it even more when the timelords start using him and make him deal with their problems. hes trying so hard to get his life back to normal. he loves earth but more as a playground then as a place to live. i think liz kept him sane in the beginning which is why he was so disappointed when she left, which like me too king there wasnt enough of her she was awesome. and jo :3. i lov her. shes not the brightest but her heart is in the right place. i fucking loved when the doctor was complaining to the brig how he couldnt just hav anyone as an assistant and needed a scientist and the brig just goes,,,, yeah i can get you a different assistant,,,, if you tell jo that youre letting her go. and of course he wouldnt. im not sure if he could in any of his regenerations. hes a grump but still a softie!!!! DR: “Jo i just wanted to tell you-” JO: OwO DR: “....that i look forward to working with you” YEA THATS RIGHT. i lov that shes sneaky and honestly resourceful AND I WISH THE DOCTOR WOULDNT BE SO MEAN TO HER!!! BE NICE TO HER OLD MAN!!! anyway the master is also here and hes so saturday morning cartoon villain and its so fun. i love how the master and the doctor interact with each other like,,, i can smell it,,, homosexual in nature but theyre being veeeeerryy professional about it. almost done with season 9

Eighth Doctor

i cannot accurately describe my love and joy for the eighth in words. besides words like hes my blorbo,,, the scrungkly if you will. i LOVE HIM!!!!!! s o much!!!! hes kind, real goofy, genuine, full of compassion, sarcastic, theatrical, and soooooo fucked up :). ive listened to all of charleys and lucies era including their further adventures (my girls my fucking beloveds), the stories with mary shelley, just started dark eyes last night, and im on the 17th book in the edas. i adore charley and want to listen/read everything there is with her in it, which ive done a lot of already, just not her stories with 6 yet. i wanted to watch 6 in classic who first but since im not even done with the third doctor yet ITLL BE AWHILE. and lucie BABEY. i think the best dr/companion relationship is when theyre just best friends. just two fuckin goofballs that enjoy being around each other. lucie loved the doctor so much cuz they had so much fun together and she was rly good at getting shit done. cuz its lucie miller ofc. ANDANDNAND WHEN FUCKING SUSAN CAME BACK i loved hers and the doctors reunion u could hear how happy both of them were just to see each other again U COULD HEAR THE SMILES and it KILLED ME. my favs of the eda books so far are vampire science, genocide, alien bodies, kursaal, seeing i, and the scarlet empress. and i lov sam so much. starts off as a tough butch teenager that wants to do good for the world. i think its very cute that she tries to be all cool and nonchalant when with the doctor cuz thats soooo teenager behavior. at first i refused to acknowledge her crush on the doctor (i wanted it to be familial cuz thats what it felt like!!!) but i like how she explored her thoughts with that. i mean she was way in over her head by starting from the ground up on a different planet in her far future just so she woudlnt have to face the doctor cuz she was so embarrassed. #girl i must say. now shes over it i think? in the scarlet empress she said that she loved him to whatever that thing was in that river but it wasnt clear to me if it was romantic or if she was just saying that they were close (im also stupid so). hope its not romantic, ive never rly been a fan of romance (ex ive never rly cared much for tenrose). ive been saying this from the start give this old man a child to care for (not like a beby child like a teenager/young adult). ANYWAY im very excited to continue dark eyes, i lov molly very much so far, and the rest of the books. and a bunch of other audios with the 8th dr like short trips and specials.

Tenth Doctor

i listened to the first audio from dalek universe 1 and uh wow. its good!!! ill be honest i dont remember some of it cuz i was rly high and tired listening to it but it was still alot of fun. i was worried i had to know who anya was before starting but luckily that wasnt the case. its funny going back to the tenth doctor cuz he was my top favorite for the longest time so im just like,, ‘whos my fav little pinstriped hellion :3 U ARE U FREAK!!!!’ i dont hav much of an opinion yet since ive only listened to one story but so far its fun !! and will def listen to more.

13 + other eu

i havent touched nuwho since i finished the 12fth drs run cuz i def needed a lil fictional grieving time. im a bit hesitant on watching the 13th dr cuz ive heard soooo many differing opinions about her stories and how shes written. i also know various spoilers which doesnt rly matter cuz i dont hav most of the context that goes with it. im also worried im not gonna like yaz much. i think overall im gonna like it cuz its doctor who and its fun and i enjoy things easily. i just dont know when im going to start it. cuz man theres so much. so much to consume. i also rly wanna get into the gaillfrey series but i havent seen any of romana or leela in the show cuz im not there yet. i prob dont have to to start it but whatev.

#doctor who #doctor who eu #doctor who edas #second doctor #2nd dr #third doctor #3rd doctor #eighth doctor #8th dr #tenth doctor #10th dr #thirteenth doctor #13th dr #The stuff in my brain #ahhahhah #yum im so full from CONTENT

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bad-thought-overflow · 1 year

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So... I'm a furry. I don't participate much, but I do love the community and a lot of what comes from it. I only preface with this because anyone in the community who reads this will probably have some idea where this post is going the second they read the next line...

I played Adastra. And it's destroying me a little.

I got recommended a long video essay about it, along with a beastars video from the same dude, and I got curious enough to check out the game before watching the video. It was... incredible. I've played other visual novels, even some other furry ones that had the same general vibe Adastra oozes with, but it felt different. The characters started to really grow on me, even just twenty minutes in on the spaceship I already wanted things to work out for Amicus and my character. I was intrigued by the seemingly simple premise, and delighted as more and more wrinkles were layered in.

But then it started to hit more emotional beats. Amicus coming out, and his awkward attempts at flirting, and then the first kiss. I was swept up in the fairy tale of it all, even as I saw warning signs coming up in the background. By the time the second trial concluded, I almost thought the game was going to close on a happily ever after, which only made the morning of the third trial hit like a freight train. It stopped being about flirting with a sexy wolf man, instead I became invested in the world and characters as the coup ramped up. And I cried for the first time during the first visit with Amicus in the dungeon.

When all the parent stuff began happening, with the monitor actually adressing and guiding my character, I again thought I understood where the story was going. I instantly agreed to follow the big plan of theirs, terrified not of my character dying but rather having to witness Amicus breaking down in a full scene. The awful day started with that ominous message from the monitor, and I was convinced that the bad things happening were just a vision, or that the monitor would turn back time so I could stop it. But it just kept moving on, and I got worried. I reached the big fight, and saw the death flags coming a mile away. I was fine though, I should have been, I picked the right answer didn't I? The monitor seemed to think so.

So I felt betrayed, and hurt, and angry, when the scene played out and it all became too much. I cried again, and kept crying straight through the entire scene as Amicus's dialogue ripped out my heart. I was still wiping away tears when the perspective changed and Amicus decided to confront the parents. Somehow, I felt like it would still work out for the best, but then the conversation turned sour. Amicus was faced with his impossible choice, and I felt that same hopeless anger when he accepted. I cried again when the two were reunited, even though I as the player knew that something was still boiling under the surface.

The final chapter of the game, I felt the same unnerving tension that my character was grappling with. I just wanted things to work out, so badly that I hoped the game would throw me a bone and let me abandon the real plot in favor of just existing with Amicus. No such luck. I almost cried out of sheer frustration when the special date went wrong, and then cried for real during Amicus proposing. At that point, I finally got where the ending would leave things, I knew it would be heartbreaking just like everything else, but just like my character I just wanted to enjoy whatever time was left.

The ending came too fast, and after too long all at once. Because I accidentally picked the positive ending, I was treated to the vision of the perfect future. I cried, easily envisioning it and left still wanting more time to enjoy it; and then the game ended for real, and I was left on the end screen of Amicus on the throne. I couldn't stop crying for another few minutes, half out of genuine sadness that the story ended the way it did, and half out of a strange hope that I could get something like that some day. I really just sat there, pining and wishing that one day I'd meet someone who I could experience everything the game forced me through with together, even the heartache if it meant I could understand the empty feeling in my chest. I only considered the game's other elements, the twisted fated lovers story puppeteered by what are basically gods, the resentment I found myself feeling after I realized how manufactured my and Amicus's agreement was to the grand scheme of things, after a day full of that same pining and half-contained sobs.

Adastra is a 10/10 experience. I'm glad I could experience it the way I did. That said, the aftermath has me hesitant to recommend it to anyone.

#taluspost #this really is just a game review huh #I havent talked to anyone about it and needed to word vomit #Dec18

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moonlit-jeno · 3 years

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friends (m.)

pairing: lee jeno x fem reader

genre: explicit sexual content | omegaverse | heat sex | unprotected sex | some name calling

words: 3.6k

don’t like don’t read :)

“Your heat’s coming up.” Jeno says, point blank in between bites of his apple. You just nod, taking a break from your notes to side eye him. It’s not odd for him to know intimate details of your life- you do make sure to keep him updated on your cycle just so that he can send you the notes for the days you miss - but it’s not exactly a common subject for the two of you. “Who are you spending it with?”

There are still 13 powerpoint slides for you to grind through, but you figure a small break won’t hurt. Might as well use the conversation topic for something good, aka a reason to slam your laptop shut. You turn to Jeno, giving your best friend your full attention, and take the iced coffee right out of his hand. He doesn’t protest. “No idea. Would call Jaemin but he’s ‘found the one’ or something, so I’ll probably just spend it by myself.”

“By yourself?” Jeno’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline as if you’ve just admitted to committing a sin. It’s not like the concept isn’t unheard of, there’s a market full of toys to help you through it. “Isn’t that dangerous?” You shrug and take a sip of the coffee, offering him your smoothie in exchange. He takes a sip and then bites down on your straw. His entire face scrunches and he yanks his face away from the beverage. He pulls the straw up, inspecting the now soggy and dented object with disgust. “Fuck, what is this made out of?”

“Paper.” You huff a laugh out through your nose, taking your smoothie back. “And I mean, it’s not any more dangerous than spending your heat with the wrong person. Plus, my heats get kind of… intense.” If Jaemin sleeping for three days straight and limping after is anything to go by, both parties take the short end of the stick. You’d felt so bad after and apologized to him profusely, but he had just thrown you his signature dazzling grin and told you that drowning in pussy was exactly the way he envisioned himself dying. He definitely didn’t complain about the brownies you’d baked him as a ‘thank you’, though.

“Spend your heat with me.” The bold request has your brain malfunctioning, at a loss for where to even start reacting to his statement. You just stare at him, mouth opening and closing repeatedly while he returns the gaze earnestly. “Look, it makes sense, right? I know you better than anyone, and you already trust me. Plus if they’re as intense as I’ve heard they are, you need someone there.”

You frown, opening your laptop up and staring blankly at the screen just to avoid having to look at Jeno. It does make sense to have him there with you, and it’s not like he’s the worst person to have sex with. Plenty of people around campus have delighted in talking about their nights with Jeno, dreamily telling you how lucky you are to have him and falling deaf to your insistence that the two of you aren’t like that. Plus, you’re not blind and even if you’re not the cute couple everyone thinks you are, you can admit that he’s hot.

“Wait, hang on. What do you mean ‘heard’ about? What shit is Na Jaemin saying?” Jeno’s shoulders shake with his laughter at your sudden concern. “I mean, he didn’t say anything, but that was kind of the problem. He didn’t show up to practice for like a week and when he finally did, he looked like he’d been mauled. Coach had to bench him.”

Your heart drops slightly at hearing that Jaemin’s soccer had been affected. He hadn’t told you that. “Oh.” The guilt must show on your face because Jeno is quickly soothing you, making sure to tell you that they all found Jaemin’s state funny. “Okay, wait. Wouldn’t you have the same problem if you help me?”

“It’s off-season. So, what do you say?” Jeno waits for your response expectantly, eyes soft, curious. “You can say no, y/n. I don’t want to pressure you at all, I’m just letting you know that it’s an option.” “I’ll think about it.” And you do. A concerning amount.

You spend that night tossing and turning, trying and failing to shut your brain off. Worries about ruining your friendship and about hurting Jeno bounce around your brain no matter how much you try to stop thinking about it. What if something bad happens during it? What if you never talk again? And worst of all is your brain telling you that he doesn’t actually want you specifically, he just wants to be with an omega in heat. You’re just convenient.

That thought actually makes you cry and you wrap your blankets even tighter around yourself, sobbing weakly into your pillows. In an effort to distract your wandering mind you grab for your phone, opening instagram to find an influx of dm’s from Jeno. It calms you a bit, the messages ranging from cute dogs to absolutely cursed memes, and you smile softly at the reminder that he’s your best friend, and that he definitely cares about you. Biting your lip, you hesitate for only a few moments before typing out a “you can help”, hitting send before you can second guess it. You lock your phone and set it face down on the dresser, thankfully finding sleep as soon as your head hits the pillow.

It’s hot when you wake up, clothes clinging to your skin uncomfortably. Peeling your shirt off only gives you relief for a moment but then the sticky heat is back full force. You whimper in misery, trying to snuggle back into your bed for at least some comfort, but you find that the corner of your fitted sheet has come up, the rest of your blankets on the floor. There’s only one pillow near you and it’s soaked in sweat. You panic slightly, frantically yanking your sheets back onto the bed and trying to fluff them up as much as possible, only calming down once the bedding has been fixed to your liking. Only once you’ve settled down in the plushness of your blankets do you have a moment of clarity.

“Oh shit.” You shoot up and search for your phone, dropping it once before finally managing to open the correct app. There’s a few messages from Jeno that you don’t bother looking at, going straight for the ‘call’ button. He picks up on the third ring.

“Hello?” He sounds groggy, like he’s just woken up, and a flash of heat runs through you at the low tone. “Why are you calling me at 5 a.m?”

You manage to stop fantasizing about your best friend long enough to choke out the word “Heat.” It comes out pathetic and whiny and you pause to clear your throat, trying to keep a clear head as well. “I’m sorry, my heat came early and I wanted to call you but you can go back to bed, I didn’t realize-”

“Fuck, okay, I’ll be over in 10.” Jeno cuts off your rambling with a swear, some rustling in the background accompanying his words.

“Thank you.” You whisper, setting the phone down and curling up in bed, trying not to focus on how agonizingly slow the time is passing.

Jeno’s looking down at his shoes when you open the door, kicking idly at the door mat and fidgeting with the bag in his hands, though his head snaps up when he notices you. The smile on his face falters when he inhales, turns a little strained as he gets a taste of your heat, and you honestly give him props for the amount of restraint he has. It’s definitely more than you have, at least, because you’re on him the second he’s inside. He ends up sandwiched between you and the door, bag dangling precariously in one hand while he envelopes you in his strong arms. You don’t (can’t) do anything besides bury your face in his chest and whimper, knowing exactly what you want but being too needy and fuzzy to remedy it.

“Jeno, it hurts.” You whimper and lift your face to nose along the skin just above the collar of his shirt, finding that while the skin to skin contact helps, it doesn’t fully relieve the heat scorching through you, the dull ache screaming for Jeno to take you already. “Please…” He holds you closer to his chest, encasing you fully in his scent, and picks you up bridal style. “I’ve got you baby, don’t worry.”

Being around Jeno does help to ease your stress, but it also serves to make you needier. The warm scent that you’ve grown to associate with the man is stronger than you’ve ever smelled it and it’s making you lose your mind more and more by the second. You’re worried that you’re drooling by the time he sets you down on your bed. He pauses to drop the bag he’s holding on the floor, and then he’s on top of you, strong arms caging you in.

The first kiss is soft, chaste. It would be cute if you weren’t so fucking needy, but you are and it’s just not enough. Unsatisfied, you thread your fingers through his hair and tug, nipping at his bottom lip and tilting your head to the side to get a deeper angle. A groan rumbles in his chest and he returns the kiss with more intensity, trying to take control again. You don’t let him, even if every instinct in your body is screaming at you to just submit.

Jeno shifts on top of you, scooting so that he can fully lay down between your legs. You wrap your limbs around him on instinct, pulling him as close as you possibly can and- oh. The close proximity means that you feel everything when he grinds down, and the feeling of having him so close to where you need him has any semblance of control that you had draining out of your body. You gasp pitifully, annoyance clawing at you from the amount of fabric blocking you from what you want.

“Please,” You almost sob, tugging at his shirt while trying to grind your lower half against his, the pressure of his cock against your center making your eyes roll. Jeno pulls back to yank his shirt off and then he’s back, hands sliding down your body to your panties, tugging the fabric down as far as he can before he growls in frustration and just rips the fabric in half.

“Shit, you’re so wet.” Jeno moans in awe, breaking the kiss yet again to marvel at your pussy. “Bet I could just slip right in.” He drags his fingers through the slick on your upper thighs, eyes glued between your legs. You’re just about to complain when he finally presses his fingers into you. The initial relief has you moaning sweetly, though it quickly turns to impatient pleas for his cock. You clench around his fingers, reaching a hand down to palm over where he strains against his sweats.

“I need you to fuck me.” You beg, looking at him with what you hope is a convincing expression. “Please Jen, I need you.” “You have me.” He promises you, flicking his wrist faster, curling his fingers just right. “I’m right here baby.” It’s sweet, and under normal circumstances it would be enough, but right now it’s not what you need and the frustration has you on the brink of tears.

You buck your hips and try to arch up as if it’ll magically make him slip in, but Jeno remains as patient and controlled as ever. It’s too hot and every part of your body is screaming for him to fuck you, for him to claim you, and his refusal is killing you. “Alpha please, I need you.”

He absolutely snarls, pinning down your wriggling body with one hand around your throat. The other hand stays between your legs where it continues to strike pleasure into every single nerve ending you have, adding to the fire already coursing through your veins. “What you need is to take what your Alpha’s giving you. You’re not in charge here, okay?” With his face pressed so close to yours you have no choice but to make direct eye contact, staring straight into the most intense gaze you’ve ever seen. His pupils are blown out so wide that his eyes are almost black. Unable to tear your eyes away and as if in a trance, you find yourself nodding. The corner of his mouth quirks up. “Good girl. Now listen to your Alpha and cum.”

It happens almost instantaneously, as if his words were directly connected to a trigger, your body exploding just as soon as the words leave his mouth. Your entire body locks up, mind going blank as the immense pleasure takes hold of you, leaving you clawing at his back and screaming silently into the air.

The orgasm only serves to thicken the haze in your mind, clouding any thoughts that aren’t related to the Alpha above you and his cock. It takes a moment for your eyes to finally come back into focus enough to make out your surroundings, and you’re greeted by the sight of Jeno with his fingers in his mouth, sucking your essence off of his digits. You’re burning so hot, so much hotter than you think you’ve been before, and it’s hard for you to function. All you can think about is his cock.

“Please,” You beg, swatting at him weakly. “Alpha please, I need you so bad.”

There’s no way that Jeno isn’t being affected by the pheromones clouding the air, but he manages to appear unbothered, his actions rough but nowhere near as desperate as yours. He just laughs lightly at your begging. “Aww, baby needs me?” The rhetorical question is punctuated by a slap, his hand coming down on your pussy hard enough to draw a yelp from you, thighs closing on his hand in a conflicting attempt to relieve the pressure from the hit and keep his hand on your cunt. He laughs meanly and pulls his hand away, drawing back slightly to spit onto your already soaking pussy, rubbing the spit into your skin while he talks. “This pussy belongs to me, yeah? You’re mine now.” Jeno leans down, mouth at your neck so that he can bite at the skin. “That means that I can do whatever I want with you.” You can’t speak, can’t even begin to think about what you should say in this situation. He presses a kiss to your jaw before pulling back and uses his free hand to turn your head so that you make eye contact with him. “Tell Alpha what you need.” “Need Alpha in me.” You beg, plead, flipping yourself over onto your hands and knees and arching your back, presenting yourself to him. “Need your knot, need you to fill me up, breed me, Alpha please-” Your sentence is cut off by his cock slamming into you, the filthy sound being drowned out by his groan. You gasp in relief, breathy thank you’s leaving you with each powerful thrust he delivers. His cock stretches you out so well, makes you go dizzy with the relief of finally having him in you. Your elbows give out nearly instantly, your chest hitting the mattress, and Jeno takes instant advantage of the new position to pull your hips even higher into the air.

It’s so good- almost too good- and it leaves you drooling and clawing at the sheets. All you can focus on is how well he’s fucking you, how he’s going to fill you up so well, breed you like he was meant to.

You scream when he pulls out, alarm bells going off as your body instantly protests. It only lasts a second though, Jeno’s hands never leaving your body as he flips you onto your back.

“Couldn’t see you,” Jeno pants out, dropping a kiss to the corner of your mouth and pushing back in, returning back to the brutal rhythm he had before. It has your eyes rolling in your head at how fucking good he feels. “My pretty baby, taking everything I give her.”

He’s got you so fucked out that you don’t even realize your tongue is hanging out of your mouth until he pinches it between his thumb and index finger, pulling it out even more. “You love my cock, hmm? You love everything I give you.” The pad of his thumb rubs over your tongue, the sensation making your toes curl and tears slide down your cheeks. “Such a fucking needy omega, isn’t that right?” He tugs on your tongue, your head following his actions as he leads you into nodding.

Jeno laughs and lets go of your tongue, dropping his face down to kiss at your neck. He sucks mark after mark into your skin, licking over each one to soothe it after, until he finally gets to your most sensitive, vulnerable spot. Even just the feeling of him close to your mating mark has your entire body aching for it, your neck craning to the side and pushing into his touch. The leverage you get from your legs wrapped around his waist has him pushing even deeper into you and you can feel his knot at your entrance, not quite fully swollen but definitely getting there. It has you absolutely keening, the thought of being so totally owned making you desperate.The sweet drag of his cock along your walls paired with the absolute filth he’s spewing has your body locking up with no warning, your orgasm ripping through you. You arch off the bed, the action only pushing you further onto his cock.

“God y/n, fuck!” Jeno curses, slamming his hips into you with even more force, his knot popping into your entrance and forcing the neediest sound you’ve ever made to leave your lips. You desperately wrap your limbs around him, trying to get him even closer, digging your heels into his ass to push him further inside. He grinds his hips against you one, two, three more times before he shudders, teeth clamping down right on your sweet spot as he comes. Jeno seems to come forever, filling you up with delicious warmth, making your body purr in satisfaction. He finally comes down, having the clarity of mind to tip the two of you onto your sides so that he doesn’t crush you when he collapses. He still tugs you close, arm thrown around your body possessively, his chin resting atop of your head.

“Told you it was intense.” You laugh out, trying to break the silence in the room. The heat’s subsided for now, but you’re still barely in your mind, and you have no idea how long the break will last.

He huffs out a laugh, chest shaking against you. “I understand Jaemin now.” His hand pets over your back, sliding up to the back of your neck and scratching lightly at the skin there. “You alright?” “Mhmm, yeah. Perfect.” His fingertips press lightly against the mating mark, sending sparks shooting down your spine, and it has your head spinning. You try to adjust yourself against him in an effort to keep your cool, but moving has his cock shifting inside of you and you sleepily grind against him, not thinking. Jeno hisses and tightens his grip on you to keep you still, but the way he grabs your leg has him shifting inside of you and pressing against all the right places. Heat floods through you and your grinding turns more urgent.

“Ohgod,” You moan, finding enough strength to push Jeno flat on his back. Your body has a mind of its own and you find yourself bouncing desperately on his cock. His knot has you locked into place and you’re barely able to move, but you can still swirl and grind your hips against him, feel the delicious friction of his knot against your entrance. “Alpha, it feels so good.”

“Fuck, look at you. So fucking knotdrunk, hmm? Can’t get enough.” Jeno shakes his head, laughs in a way that’s meant to mock you but it comes out strained. His hands are heavy on your ass, squeezing and slapping to feel the way it jiggles, to feel the way you clench around him with every hit. You throw your head back and let him do as he pleases, losing yourself entirely in how full you feel, in how good his knot feels in you. He buries his face into your chest, moving one hand from your ass to play with your tits, his mouth wasting no time in marking the delicate skin up.

“Shit baby, gonna make me cum again.” His lips seal over your mating mark again in a sloppy kiss and that’s exactly the final push that you need, your eyes rolling back and your tongue lolling out as your cunt spasms around him, orgasm ripping through you almost painfully. Jeno groans as well, hand flying to your back to pull you as close as possible, and his knot pulses inside of you as you swear you feel more cum shoot out.

He shudders against you, tight grip finally relaxing, though he still keeps you anchored to his chest. You follow suit, collapsing against him. A tired moan leaves you and you let yourself relax, lips absentmindedly mouthing at his skin. His hand pets your back soothingly, touch heavy and sluggish, and the last thing you feel before you fall asleep is his lips on your forehead.

#jeno smut #nct dream smut #nct smut #00 line smut #kpop smut #lee jeno smut

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littlemissnoname13 · 3 years

Note

hi could you please make a part two to feeling colors, i LOVED your writing in it. no rush :))

Hiii nonnie! 💕 I did end up writing a second part for the fic after all. I hope you like it as much as the first. X

Feeling Colours - Part Two

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Hufflepuff!Reader

Word count: 2500 give or take

Summary: Draco’s feelings for the reader start to grow

Warnings: fluff, excessive drinking, mentions of throwing up, kissing, nothing explicit, Draco being a softie (lmk if this needs more warnings)

Masterlist | Part One

Your eyes fluttered open to find Draco Malfoy sitting on a chair next to you, breathing quietly like sleep was finally hitting him. Ruffled blond strands of hair fell over his weary eyes and he’d used his suit jacket as a makeshift blanket.

Your first instinct was to silently lift up your covers and check if your clothes were still intact and thank Merlin they were.

“Have a little faith Y/n.” Draco grumbled, startling you in the process as he struggled to lift himself into a more comfortable position. “I would never take advantage of a drunk girl.”

Fragments of the previous night came back to you when you heard him say that.

The party, the burn of the booze, the dust-filled broom closet, the throwing up, the taste of soup and the strong and sturdy arms of the boy now looking at you with a sheepish grin on his face.

You eased at the sight of his smile. There came a certain type of comfort after someone had seen you throwing your guts up.

“Thank you for last night Draco.”

“Like I said before Miss raging alcoholic, Don’t make a habit of it.” He let out a small yawn and started to smooth out his hair but much to his dismay, the strands refused to cooperate.

You couldn't help but laugh at the displeased look on his face. “Here, let me—”

“NO. I absolutely refuse to let you touch my hair.” He protested, grabbing both your wrists before your fingers could make contact with his precious hair.

“Come on Malfoy.” You pleaded, now fully out of bed and trying to break free from his hands. “I swear I can fix it for you.”

“Nope.” He said firmly as he tried his hardest to maintain a straight face. “Stop it—No please not the sides—no..”

“Please, just a bit more...ah okay….there we go.”

“Haven’t you done enough Hufflepuff?!”

“Oh. that rhymed.” You laughed, still touching his hair when the two of you accidently tumbled onto the chair he was originally sleeping on.

Draco was agile in cushioning your fall with one of his hands balancing himself on the armrest and one hand wrapped around your waist.

It was only the second time he’d saved you from falling and you were already getting used to it.

Something inside of you was immediately hoping that Draco would be there to break your fall for a third time too.

It felt good with him.

It felt safe with him.

~~~

Alone at the school courtyard in the afternoon of the next day, Draco sat down in a far corner to rearrange his cluttered thoughts about you into tidy little compartments in his brain.

It should have been easy for him. He was a natural occlumens after all.

But for some bizarre reason, he couldn't find a way to erase your name, the sound of your voice and your scent that was slowly dominating all four lobes of his brain and all four chambers of his heart.

Even with the sun still in the sky, the occasional gust of wind made his hands turn cold so he instinctively shoved his hands into his blazer pocket to warm up.

It was only then that he realised that he’d completely forgotten to give your locket back to you.

~~~

A few days had now passed and Draco had gotten several opportunities to give your necklace back to you.

First it was at the great hall.

He watched you intently from the Slytherin table, waiting for the perfect opportunity to talk to you while you nibbled on a cupcake.

His Adam's apple bobbed as he watched you lick the powdery pink frosting off your Peony lips.

He wasn’t all that fond of those cupcakes you were eating but he’d have done anything for a taste of the frosting from your lips.

Before he could even manage to walk over to you, you stood up and walked away with your friends.

When you were close to the exit however, you paused and turned towards the Slytherin table to give him a tiny smile.

He quickly reached into his pocket to look at the locket, it was the exact pink shade of the frosting.

~~~

The second time he tried to return it was at Potions class.

Theo had so graciously agreed to switch partners with Draco and Snape did not seem to mind as long as the potions were brewed right.

“Crush the petals as best you can before dropping them into the cauldron.” Snape instructed and you quickly grabbed a fistfull of rose petals.

Draco watched in awe as you crushed rose petals in your hands, releasing the floral aroma into the atmosphere. The scent caught onto clothes and a flush crept onto his face.

“Well, are you going to help me, Malfoy?”

Draco silently copied your motion and stirred the cauldron till the potion was simmering and ready.

Returning your locket in the middle of Severus’s class did not seem like a smart idea so he decided to come up with a better one.

“We are having another party in the dungeons on Friday. You should come and bring Abott if you’d like.” Draco shrugged it off like it was the most casual thing ever.

“Will there be elf made wine?” You wiggled your eyebrows at him and he let out a rather loud scoff earning the attention of the sulky potion’s master.

“Malfoy, Y/l/n.” Snape called out, looking as unimpressed as ever. “Detention.Saturday.”

“Incorrigible.” Draco muttered and you nudged him in the rib with your elbow.

“Two Saturdays.” Snape said, before dismissing the entire class.

On his way out, Draco discreetly sneaked a peak of the necklace in his pocket because he already knew what colour it was going to be.

It was the exact same pink of the rose petals you were crushing.

~~~

Two days had gone by since potions class and Draco was no longer fazed when the necklace emulated the same shades of pink from the bubblegum you were blowing or the fuschia ribbon in your hair.

Draco also didn’t think it was necessary to make another attempt to return your necklace until Friday.

He already had a lot of things preoccupying his mind like actually planning the party.

There had been no Slytherin Party planned for Friday before Draco invited you and now, He was getting his friends to help him arrange one.

Crabbe and Goyle were tasked with getting more liquor, Blaise and Theo were responsible for music and food while Draco was responsible with the overall logistics like silencing charms and getting the word of the party out.

“All this for a girl.” Blaise mocked. Theo took this moment to whisper something to Crabbe who then whispered something to Goyle.

“Care to say it out loud, Nott?” Draco seethed as he watched his friends clutch their stomachs and laugh out loud.

“Theo called you a simp.” A teary eyed Goyle spluttered.

“A what now?”

~~~

Friday’s party topped the previous one.

More people, A wider selection of liquor, wine varietals, good food and music blasting so loud that the floors were vibrating.

As per usual, Hannah had already disappeared into some dark little corner with her paramour leaving you all alone with a group of Slytherin girls.

“I love your dress!” Exclaimed a tipsy looking Daphne Greengrass who herself was wearing a gorgeous turquoise number.

“Thank you.” You replied, giving her your most polite and friendly smile.

“Come now, let's go and dance already.” Pansy crossed her arms and rolled her eyes at the interaction. Although it wasn’t super obvious, you sensed that Pansy wasn’t too pleased to have you there.

Daphne intertwined her hands to yours and pulled you into the dancefloor with herself, Pansy Tracey Davis and Millicent Bulstrode.

Daphne’s surprisingly amiable nature took you by surprise but you decided to go with it. It was a party after all.

When she placed her hands on your shoulders, you mirrored. When she swayed her hips, so did you.

“He can't stop staring at you now, can he?” Daphne shouted into your ear over the music as you both continued to dance together.

“I’m sorry who?” You shouted back.

“Malfoy.” Daphne giggled. “ He’s been watching you all night actually. Why do you think he hosted this party in the first place?”

You stole a quick glance at Draco when no one was looking. He was sipping on a glass of whisky and watching you from a distance.

He had ditched his all black attire for a white button down shirt. The top two buttons were undone and his hair had a sort of laid back look to it

“See?” Daphne shouted again. “Hasn’t even taken his eyes off you once. It's driving Pansy nuts.”

Just to confirm if Daphne was in fact telling the truth, you tilted your head to the side to get a bitter view of him and the minute you did, your eyes met with his.

Heat spread all across your cheeks and he raised his glass to you as an acknowledgement before quickly turning away.

After that, it was just an intense and tactical little gambit of who caught who staring.

He covertly watched you sway your hips and you secretly noticed the way he tapped his fingertips on the glass he was holding.

Both of you refused to relent to whatever game this was up until the point where he grabbed a bottle of fire whisky and started to walk away.

You didn't even need to think twice about where he was headed.

“Go on.” Daphne nudged encouragingly.

~~~

Draco pulled the closet door open and stepped inside with a smile playing at his lips.

The last time he was there, he was introduced to you, your scent, your smile, your eyes.

Before that night in the closet, he took colours at their face value. They were nothing more than visual representations of light—what amount, what hue, what saturation.

It was strange how things had changed for him.

Not only did you make him see colours in a whole new light, you made him feel them, you made him hear them.

As Draco settled down with his drink, he saw the door creak open.

It was still dark but he could already tell that it was you by the scent of your perfume. Oh, he could never ever forget that aroma even if he tried.

Lumos.

Draco held his wand in front of him and allowed himself to turn to his side to get a better view of you.

Never had he ever seen someone glow the way you did under the lumos charm. The radiance in your eyes, the pearlescence of your skin and the curvature of your lips made him lightheaded.

“I feel like this closet is going to be a recurring thing for us huh?” You beamed at him and he found himself swooning.

Salazar Slytherin. Nott was right. He was a simp.

“I guess so.” Draco quickly answered, Blaming this dizziness on the lack of ventilation while taking a big sip of his drink.

“I don’t mind.” You said and twisted open the bottle of wine you’d brought with you.

“Don’t tell me you brought another bottle of that god awful wine in here.”

“It’s actually not that bad and it gets you drunk way quicker.” You shrugged.

“Why do I feel like I might have to walk you to your dorm again?”

He watched you take a long slow sip of wine and couldn’t help himself from noting that your lips were slowly getting stained red with the fruity nectar.

“Might?” You shook your head. “Sorry to break it to you, but this wine is going to catch up with me soon.”

Draco jokingly palmed his face, earning a laugh from you. It seemed like the perfect time to hand you your lost possession back.

“Atleast, I’ll know when you are going to be sick though.” Draco said as he fished for the locket in his pocket.

“How come?”

“Because of this.” He explained, holding the necklace out. “I’m sorry I should have given it back sooner.”

“That’s okay.” You murmured softly and pushed your hair away from your neck and he instantly took this as a cue to drape the necklace back to where it belonged.

“Ah…there you go.” He whispered into your ear before shifting back to look at the gem.

Draco expected it to be pink but to his astonishment, the gem had already turned a vibrant red.

A new colour.

He could see red in the apples of your cheeks.

He could feel red pumping through his veins and hear red in the way his heart was rapidly beating.

“It’s red.” You commented and he slowly nodded.

Even though he knew what red was for him, he needed to hear your interpretation before making his next move.

“What does red mean to you y/n?”

“To me, well…..red represents um..passion, something fiery, something that burns bright, leaves you breathless.” You whispered looking as if you were feeling almost as breathless as him.

Draco swallowed hard when he noticed just how close your face was to his.

“Y/n?”

“Hmm?”

“If I kissed you right now, would you kiss me back?”

He noticed that your breathing was progressively getting shorter. You looked startled at his sudden question but held his gaze nonetheless.

“I guess you’ll have to see for yourself, Draco.”

He couldn’t help but let out a hoarse chuckle before pressing his forehead to yours. “Is that an invitation hm?”

You didn’t say a word but the deepening red color of your necklace gave everything away.

Any remaining doubt in his mind went away when he felt you caress his cheeks with your cold hands.

He gently let his fingers slip into your hair as he closed the distance between your lips.

The kiss was reminiscent of the rush of first love. The innocence, the giggles.

The kiss paid homage that perfumed night in the broom closet that had started it all.

The kiss was bleeding, seeping, trickling In various shades of red and he was drinking every drop.

Draco Malfoy could finally tell what the colour red tasted like.

It tasted like your wine stained lips.

He backed away and placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head and you gave him a shy smile in return.

~~~

The two of you spent the remainder of the party inside the closet.

Drinking, talking, laughing and more kissing.

So much kissing.

“Alright y/n, let’s get you to your room now shall we?” Draco sighed when he noticed that you were getting more and more inebriated by the minute. “Come on.”

You struggled to step out of the closet and almost tripped on your own two drunken feet.

Almost.

“As if I’m going to let you fall face first.” He mumbled to himself before lifting you up in his arms.

You let out a small laugh before looking up at him.

“Draco?”

“Hmm?”

“I know you said to not make a habit of this but unfortunately for you, I already have.”

FIN.

~~~

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v-hope · 4 years

Text

With You

Pairing: Jeon Jeongguk x Reader

Genre: Fluff, smut, College!AU, established relationship

Word Count: 5.2k

Summary: Although trying to fight it, Jeongguk can’t help but become insecure about your relationship after your ex best friend starts filling his head with lies about you and Taehyung, his best friend who you just so happened to be out with that day. Good thing is, you’re right there with him to reassure him you want him and only him.

—Alternatively, the one in which during a heated make out session you find out your boyfriend is a virgin, and decide to help him get himself off.

Warnings: Heavy making out, light body touching (?), dry humping, confident Guk and shy/awkward Guk keep switching places, handjob, blowjob. And yup, Guk’s (still) a virgin.

A/N: Helloo, this from part 28 of my Social Media AU ‘Tiger Flower’, but I guess you can still read it if you haven’t read the full story lol. So this was supposed to be a 2k drabble like the ones I always write but I got a bit carried away 🤡 I hope you enjoy! 💕 ALSO, someone asked me to bold the beginning and ending of the smut part(s), so if you don’t wanna read the smut just look for the bolded words and skip what’s in between lol.

Running his hands through his face as the elevator’s doors opened, Jeongguk started walking through the hallway to his place, head lowered as he absently looked in his pocket for the keys to the apartment.

The conversation he had with Sooyeon was still going through his mind over and over. Although he had managed to sound confident enough through the texts they had exchanged and he had put her in her place —along with blocking her ass just like he had wanted to ever since the first time she brought you up into the conversation—, he could not deny her words did hit home.

Taehyung was definition of your type. Outgoing, talkative, funny, handsome. The life of the party, in other words. Something he was not, and something he would never be, considering he did not show up to parties at all if it wasn’t because he was either forced to by his friends or because you would be there.

Taehyung could most definitely show you a good time, whereas he, on the other hand…

No, fuck that. You were dating him. He was your boyfriend. He, Jeon Jeongguk. That was all he could find comfort in.

Then again, you were not with him right then. You were somewhere else with Taehyung. As friends, but still. And then again, just like he had a high school crush on you and found himself falling all over again three years into college, so had you with Taehyung right before dating him. Would it really be that hard for you to fall for him a third time when the two of you were still so close?

He shook his head, as if trying to shake his thoughts away. Don’t let Sooyeon get to you, Y/N’s with you for a reason. Don’t let Sooyeon get t—

“Hey…”

Before his head could keep on torturing him, your voice brought him back out of his small trance, fixing his wide doe eyes on you for two seconds before he took in his surroundings, only then realising he had already reached his apartment’s door.

Staring back at you, his eyes lit up.

“Hey,” he said softly. “What… What are you doing here?”

You shifted nervously in your place. “You sounded kinda off through texts, so I just wanted to check up on you”.

He nodded quietly, fighting the huge smile that was threatening with forming on his lips.

Because you were there. With him.

“You didn’t, um…” his eyes travelled to the door for a second before they were back on you. “Joon-ie hyung didn’t open the door for you?”

A small laugh escaped your lips at the way his eyebrows had furrowed, ready to fight his roommate for leaving you waiting out there for God knows how long. “I didn’t call on the door” you explained, causing his eyebrows to knit further together in utter confusion. “I didn’t know if you wanted me here at all, so I thought I’d just wait outside in case you wanted to be alone and asked me to g—”

Your words were cut off by a sweet kiss being pressed to your lips. Although taken aback the first second, you smiled when he cupped your face to press his mouth deeper against yours.

“What was that for?” you smiled once he pulled away, eyes still closed as you felt his nose gently bumping yours.

“I’m just happy you’re here” he breathed contently.

“That’s good to hear” you sheepishly admitted, resting your hands on his chest. “I honestly thought you would ask me to leave”.

He shook his head no, pecking your lips before he pulled you into his arms. “Don’t be silly, you know I always want to be with you”.

You took in a shaky breath, feeling all the tension you had been building up until then leave your body for good, and then wrapping your arms tightly around him as well. “Yeah, but you sounde—”

“Shh,” he hushed you, pressing a brief kiss to your neck. “I want you here”.

You let out another laugh, not only because of how happy his words made you, but because of the way he later grabbed your face once again to start peppering kisses all over it.

“Yah, Jeon Jeongguk!” you called him out in between giggles. “We’re in the middle of the hallway”.

He laughed, pecking your lips one last time before he pulled away. You just didn’t know how much it meant to him having you there with him right then when he needed you the most.

Without another word, he took his keys out of his pocket, like he had intended to minutes ago, and finally opened the door.

Stopping in his tracks, he turned around to look at you with a raised brow. “You’re coming in, right?”

You shrugged nonchalantly. “I mean, since you ask so nicely…”

Rolling his eyes at your overdramatic ways, he grabbed your hand, pulling you inside his place with him, not giving you time to even take a look around as he dragged you into his room.

“I don’t even get to say hi to Joon?” you teased as you closed the door behind you and he went to lie down on his bed.

“You can go say hi if you want” he replied simply, resting his weight on his elbows so he could properly look at you.

“Nah,” you shrugged, watching his nose scrunch up as his lips parted into a big smile when you started walking towards him. “I came to see you after all”.

“That you did” he contently affirmed, that being all he needed to let go of his intrusive thoughts.

Letting his back fall on the bed once again, he stretched his arm out on the mattress for you to go over there. Without another word, you crawled in bed with him, resting your head on his arm just like he wanted you to, scooting closer to him when his hand rested on your shoulder, and then resting yours on his chest.

“So how was work?” you tried to initiate small talk, tenderly running your fingers in circular motions from his chest to his abdomen.

The sigh that had escaped his mouth let you know not so well.

Work itself had been alright . What happened afterwards when he was heading home and Sooyeon texted him? Yeah, that had been shitty as hell.

“I blocked Sooyeon” he let you know.

Your head snapped up. “Hadn’t you already done that?”

“From Instagram, yeah” he nodded. “I blocked her phone number now. It can be a little awkward tomorrow when I see her but it’s the last day of filming, so I couldn’t care less”.

Although wanting to laugh —because, let’s be honest, that new piece of information could only bring you joy—, you ended up pouting in confusion.

“Something happened?”

“The usual,” he took in a deep breath. “She was talking shit”.

You nodded understandingly. Although wanting to know the details, you understood he didn’t really want to talk about it, for otherwise he would’ve told you by then. So, you said nothing, settling for pressing a lingering kiss to his shoulder instead.

“Is that why you were upset?” you wondered.

Jeongguk stayed quiet, both in awe at how you could tell he wasn’t feeling his best just by a couple of texts, and once again upset at the conversation he had held with Sooyeon earlier that evening.

“Kinda” he tried to shrug it off.

You puckered your lips, stopping your soothing motions on his torso and resting your palm on it instead so you could support your body up as you looked for his chocolate eyes.

“Was it because I went out with Tae?”

The way his body had tensed was all the answer you needed. However, he surprised you by shaking his head no.

“It wasn’t… I mean,” he sighed, pushing his hair back with his hand. “You guys are friends, it’s okay”.

You stared at him intently. Maybe he claimed it didn’t bother him, but his eyes right then, which remained fixed on the ceiling instead of your concerned ones, told you otherwise.

Placing your hand on his arm and giving it a light squeeze, you leaned in to briefly press your lips to his cheek. “I’m sorry,” your sincere words managed to catch his attention. “I should’ve asked if you were okay with it”.

He shook his head no immediately, sitting up and resting his back on the headboard. “You don’t need to ask for my permission to meet up with people, petal”.

“I know, but,” you shrugged, sitting up as well by his side and focusing your eyes somewhere other than his. “Everything is still kind of recent, I should’ve been more considerate of your feelings. I’m just so used to hanging out with mostly guys that I forget I have a boyfriend now and you—”

You caught on the way he had —teasingly— raised up a questioning eyebrow, making you mentally go over the words you had just said and panic once you realised how wrongly you had worded them.

“Wait, no!” you tried to correct yourself immediately, as he could no longer hold his serious semblance and started laughing. “I don’t forget I have a boyfriend, I meant that I forget you might not be very fond of—yah!” you called him out when his laugh did no longer allow your words to be heard.

“I know what you meant, petal” he reassured you, grabbing your hand and gently running his thumb on the back of it. “You look so cute when you panic”.

“Aish, you’re so annoying” you crossed your arms over your chest.

Chuckling at your cute annoyance, he took advantage of your folded arms to pull you towards him by them, having you instinctively straddle his lap after his lips collided with yours.

“You’re really okay with it then?” you asked one last time, cupping his face as he opened his eyes; watching the way they smiled right before he nodded.

He trusted you. Both you and Taehyung. He really did.

He knew the two of you were just friends. After all, he had told Taehyung it was okay for him to hang out with you from time to time back when they had The Talk. And he was truly okay with it. It was just that he couldn’t help being insecure sometimes, and Sooyeon’s words had only managed to increase that feeling.

He needed some reassurance from you, that was all.

“Just…” he licked his lips as he tried to find the right words. “You want to be with me… right?”

You answered his question with a slow, lingering kiss. One that left him aching for more, lips slightly puckered when yours left their touch. “I’m with you for a reason, bun” you cooed. “I mean, I am your girlfriend after all, am I not?”

He smiled blissfully, still feeling a wave of heat run up his body whenever that word was mentioned in reference to you, as he was not quite used to it yet. “Don’t go forgetting I’m your boyfriend then”.

Just as a light laugh escaped your mouth at his mocking remark, he entangled his fingers in the hair at the back of your head to pull you back into his lips, resting one of his hands on your lower back as you wrapped your arms around his neck the way he loved it, slightly opening your mouth to give him easier access to it.

And maybe it was the loose fabric of the oversized hoodie of his you had kept and were wearing that day, that made it so easy for his hands reach for your naked body underneath, or maybe it was just the way he had been craving you for so long, what made him dig his hands inside of it without a second thought — fingertips hesitantly tracing your skin and thumbs drawing circles on your waist for a couple of seconds before they trailed all the way up to the hem of your bra, where they stopped in their tracks and travelled to your back instead, as he didn’t want to overstep any more boundaries than he already thought he had.

Earning a small protesting whine from him when your mouth let go of his, you surprised him by digging your own hands under your hoodie and grabbing his wrists, causing a shaky break to abandon his mouth when you placed his hands on your breasts, just like that, giving him the last little push he needed to do what he was dying to.

“You can touch me all you want” you managed to say a little out of breath, not having time to feel shy at your own words under his piercing stare before his mouth was once more smashing on yours.

Enjoying the spoken consent you had just given him, he wasted no time in cupping your breasts, smiling in between your kisses at the way they felt so perfect in his hands — imagining how much softer they would feel without the lacy fabric in the way.

Letting go of one of them, he placed his hand on your bare back to pull you closer against his chest, giving the one still in his hold a firm squeeze that had you moaning against his lips.

And right then, he felt something he had not quite felt before. It was the way he felt his blood boil and the way he wanted more. He wanted to hear more of that melodic sound. He wanted more of you.

Only, the next second, it was you the one making a raspy moan come out of his mouth, when you grinded against his lap, providing him the friction he didn’t know he needed so bad.

Removing one of his hands from underneath your hoodie, he cupped one of your cheeks to keep you steady as he sucked your bottom lip into his mouth, tongue tracing its outline so you would open up. Doing as he wanted, you felt his tongue pleasantly massage yours, deciding right then you also wanted to feel his bare skin against your fingertips, not letting any other second go by before your hands were already making their way inside his black sweatshirt, feeling goosebumps form on his skin as your faint touch inevitably tickled his abdomen.

Letting go of his mouth, you planted a kiss to his jaw before making your way down to his neck, getting a gasp out of his mouth when you started sucking at the sensitive skin.

With the intention of keeping you still on his lap as your hungry lips worked on his neck, he placed both of his hands on your hips — momentarily forgetting about his own strength and ending up pulling you down roughly enough for you to unintentionally rub once more against his already hardening member.

“Fuck” he rasped, feeling you smile agains his neck before you rolled your hips one more time just to get another moan out of him.

Not letting go of your hips, if anything grabbing them tighter, he turned both of you around so he could be in control now. With your head hitting the soft pillow, and still taken aback by his sudden actions, you allowed his needy lips to attack yours once more for a while before they peppered small kisses all their way down to your neck.

“Jeongguk” you moaned when he thrusted his hips against your center.

He smiled, loving the tone his name had just came out with from your pretty lips. Wanting more of it, he did it again, going back to your mouth right in time to muffle the moan that had just escaped your mouth, as you could not be anything other than grateful at the fact he had decided to wear a pair of dark joggers that particular day, allowing you to feel his stiff member with little to no restraints.

With one hand holding onto your hip and his other one making its way back inside your hoodie and up to your breasts, he cupped one of them — his thumb giving attention to your nipple by making circular motions over the thin fabric of your bra and having you bite your bottom lip to hold back a moan.

Losing yourself into his pleasant touch, you rested your hands over his back, wrapping your legs tight around his waist, pulling his hips once more into your center. A satisfied smile curved up your lips at the way he had to let go of your mouth and buried his face in the crook of your neck to muffle the quite loud moan that had just escaped his lips — thrusting into you one more time just as you rolled your hips up to meet him there.

Breathing heavily at the ongoing friction, you let your hands travel down to the waistband of his joggers so you could pull them down and feel him up.

And although for just a second, you felt his lips abandon the spot they had been teasing on your neck — an almost inaudible gasp escaping his mouth as his body tensed up.

That was all you needed to stop.

“What happened?” you worried.

“Nothing” he was quick to try and brush it off, going back to pepper wet kisses to your neck.

“No, Guk” you lightly pushed him off you, cupping his face in your hands so he had no choice but to look at you. “If you don’t want t—”

“I want to” he stated before you could even finish your sentence.

Fuck, he wanted to.

“Then?”

Jeongguk sighed in defeat, managing to break free from your hold and letting his forehead fall to your shoulder. “It’s embarrassing…”

Your eyebrows furrowed, not understanding where he was trying to go with this at all. “You can trust me”.

He took in a deep breath. He knew he could trust you. He knew you would never make fun of him for such a thing. However, to him, his lack of experience, especially since you did have some of it, could only be something he felt insecure about.

“Bun…” you tried to reassure him, wrapping your arms around him and planting kiss after kiss to the side of his head.

“I’ve never…” his voice came out muffled as he spoke against your shoulder, making it harder for you to hear.

“What?”

“I’ve never had...” he spoke louder this time. “You know…”

He found delusional how hard it was for him to admit it. He had never really minded, to be honest. Whenever his friends teased him because of it he would just brush it off. It wasn’t that he was not interested in having sex, he was a young man with many needs after all. And it wasn’t that he didn’t feel ready either —or well, that until that evening, because it was fair to say he was freaking out now that it was you the one he was about to be with—. It was just that no one had ever caught his attention the way you had. There was never someone he felt the need to have this kind of intimacy with, until you.

That’s why, unlike with his friends, he did mind when it came to you. It was hard for him to admit it to you because, although he knew you’d understand, you could always be disappointed at his lack of experience, and it was precisely not being good enough for you what worried him the most, what had made him hesitate before.

“You’ve never… had sex?” you softly finished for him.

He nodded shamefully, and for a good couple of seconds you couldn’t believe him. Yes, he had told you once he had never been on a date, but dates are different than sex. For starters, you didn’t need to really talk during sex, which was what you knew troubled him the most about dates and just meeting people in general. Besides, with a guy as handsome as Jeongguk, you had been positive he must’ve been with someone at least once.

However, opposite to the disappointed reaction he thought you would have, he found himself relaxing under your touch when you pressed a kiss to his head.

“Gotta say I can’t believe and am kinda disappointed that no one ever tried to jump your bones before” your bold words had him laughing in a second, pinching one of your sides to call you out on them. “Seriously, bun. I mean, look at you!”

“Shut up” he mumbled, feeling his cheeks burn in embarrassment.

You chuckled, gently shoving his face with your shoulder to let him know you wanted him to look at you, making him feel at ease just by seeing the smile on your lips once he did as told. “It’s okay”.

“It is?” his voice came out uncertain.

You nodded, cupping his face. “Of course it is. I’ll wait for as long as you want me to”.

“But I want to” he pointed out embarrassingly fast, earning a light laugh from you.

“Then I’ll just wait until the moment’s right and you feel like going through with it without hesitating” you kissed his pink lips briefly — as if on cue, your heads snapping to the next room after hearing Namjoon drop something and cursing at it. “And until we’re alone and won’t risk being heard by our roommates, maybe”.

Jeongguk laughed at your last addition, leaning in to peck your lips three times. “I like the sound of that” he smiled, only for it to be erased when his eyes instinctively went down to the problem he had just been left with inside his pants. “I should probably, um…”

Your eyes followed his as they glanced down to his still hardened length. You had been too caught up on kissing him before to pay attention to it. But now, watching the outline of his erection poking through his sweatpants, you found yourself wanting more of him all over again.

“I can help you with that if you want” you couldn’t stop the words from coming out of your mouth, having his attentive eyes lock with yours in a second. “We don’t need to have sex for that”.

Jeongguk licked his lips, deep in thought over something he already knew the answer to. “Don’t feel like you have to...”

“I want to” you stated.

Simple as that, he found himself nodding — your determined eyes being the last push he needed to let go of the shyness he had suddenly been filled with and just give in to what he wanted, to what he needed.

With a smile curving up your lips, you gently stole a kiss from his mouth, sweetly pecking it a couple of times before you finally sucked on his bottom lip — a muffled moan coming out of his mouth when you gave it a teasing bite right as your hand palmed him over his pants.

“You have to be quiet” you reminded him with a light laugh. And for a second there you were kinda glad it wasn’t you the one on the receiving side, for you weren’t sure you’d be able to keep it down either at all.

Not being able to say anything in reply, he just nodded — a pretty eager nod that seemed more like one to move on from the topic already than one of agreement. Nevertheless, you had no intentions of stopping, (un)luckily for him.

Pressing another kiss to his swollen lips, you fidgeted with the waistband of his joggers just like you had intended to before. This time, he didn’t tense up, and you took that as your green light before you dug your hand in them.

“M—Fuck” he mewled when you took a hold of his cock, burying his face in the crook of your neck as you guided it out of his clothes.

Letting go of it for a second, you helped him on his back so you could sit up into a more comfortable position before wrapping your hand around it again, and right then you could’ve sworn you would never get tired of the pretty sounds that escaped his lips every time you touched him.

Gently, as you were just then discovering what it was he enjoyed the most, you started giving him a few pumps, trying to find the right pace for him and his needs.

“Baby, fuck” he breathed out, leaning his head deeper againt the pillow as he looked for some kind of support.

And it was the way he faintly thrusted his hips up into your hand, what let you know he was craving more. Not having to think twice, you sped up the pace of the way your hand moved up and down his length, tightening your hold on it just a little bit more.

“Mm… Just like that,” he let you know softly, as if suddenly remembering about the whole being-quiet-thing. “Just like that”.

“Feels good?” you wondered, enjoying the view of his furrowed eyebrows and closed eyes as he gave in to your touch.

“So good” he agreed.

Licking your lips, you stared down at his hard cock in your hand, giving it one last pump before your thumb slowly spread his precum over its tip.

“You alright with just my hand?” you asked and he was nodding before you could finish the question, which made you wonder if he had even heard it at all or was immersed enough in his own pleasure to agree to anything. “Or would you enjoy my mouth being wrapped around you better?”

His eyes opened as soon as the word ‘mouth’ was on the table, studying your face for a couple of seconds to make sure you were not playing with him in his vulnerable state. At the sight of your lustful eyes on him, however, he knew you were indeed very serious. And he’d be damned if he ever turned down such an offer.

“I want your mouth” although determined, his voice came out shakily.

Nevertheless, you were willing to comply with his wishes.

Jeongguk was on the edge of losing it when he saw you smile and make your hair out of the way right before you leaned down, removing your thumb from the tip of his cock so you could replace it with your tongue instead — a hiss escaping his mouth when you licked the traces of the precum you had just spreaded over it.

Giving him two small pumps, you allowed yourself to take him in your mouth; far from being able to take his entire length, yet enough for his body to tremble out of utter pleasure.

“Y/N…” he whimpered, fingers entangling in your hair as he desperately tried to control the overwhelming pleasure your wet mouth and tight lips wrapped around his cock were giving him.

Not once had he ever felt this good before, both your hand and mouth taking him places his hand alone could’ve never taken him to. And he was afraid he would come in your mouth anytime by then.

Pulling it out of your mouth, you threw him a small glance before you carried on — your tongue tracing all the way from the base to the tip, hearing him moan when you took him in your mouth a second time.

“Fuck, baby, you—ah,” he moaned when you swirled your tongue over his tip. “You feel so good”.

Enjoying way too much being the reason behind how good he was feeling, you decided to do him a favour and push him closer to his release for once and for all.

Slightly tightening your hold on him, you started once again moving your hand up and down his length, switching between the ministrations both your hand and mouth were applying on it, and knowing you were driving him over the edge when his hold on your hair tightened and his body trembled ever so slightly.

“Y/N…” he panted. “F-Fuck, I’m—”

His words were cut off by the heavy breath he had to take when you gave him one last particular pump, trying his best to hold on. Noticing that, you gave one of his thighs a squeeze to let him know it was okay for him to let go. And he was so desperate to reach his high right then, that your small gesture alone was all he needed to do so.

Closing his eyes, he found himself having to cover his mouth with his arm not to be too loud when his orgasm hit, feeling his warm release spreading into your mouth. Moving his hand up to cover his eyes as he came down from his high, letting himself get lost in the aftershocks of it, he missed the way you tasted his release in your mouth.

Cleaning the small stains of it left on the tip of his member, you adjusted it back inside his pants and went to lie down next to him, smiling adoringly at the way his chest moved up and down as he tried to catch his breath and tenderly removing his arm from his face, having his eyes find yours in a second.

“Was that okay?” you asked, softly removing a few strands of hair that had gotten stuck to his slightly sweaty forehead.

Jeongguk smiled incredulously, gently running his fingers through your hair to try and fix the mess he had made on it. “You even have to ask?”

And somehow that was all you needed to hear for the heat to reach your face, suddenly feeling shy at what you had just done.

Catching up on that, he pulled you into his arms, pressing a couple of kisses to your cheek before moving them to your mouth, where they remained for a little longer.

“You’re amazing” he said truthfully — the way he had said it, letting you know he did not just mean it when it came to sucking him off.

You smiled wholeheartedly. “Yah, don’t” your eyes focused somewhere else, feeling your face burn.

Jeongguk smiled sweetly, managing to draw your attention back to him by ever so tenderly caressing your cheek. Fuck, he loved you. And right then, with your eyes looking at him in a way he thought they had never when you were just friends, although unspoken, delusional even, he really felt like maybe you felt the same, too.

Tilting your face up just enough, he connected his lips with yours for what felt like the hundredth time that evening. “I’ll be good to you, too”.

You chuckled, loving the idea of it and kissing him briefly to let him know you did. You knew he would.

“When we’re alone, though. I won’t have Joon hear from me what he probably just heard from you”.

Jeongguk laughed, deciding to say nothing and instead pull you tightly into his chest and rest his chin on your head. And although he knew he might never hear the end of it from his friends, for once, he did not care what the rest had to either think or say.

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