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#I wanted to give everyone a chance to read before I answered this
jinwoosungs · 2 days
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{ 175 }
heartbreak feels so good.
jinwoo sung x fem.reader
warnings: mentions of physical intimacy, but nothing too explicit.
{ we could cry a little, cry a lot | don't stop dancing, don't dare stop | we'll cry later or cry now | you know it's heartbreak | we could dance our tears away | emancipate ourselves | we'll cry later or cry now, but baby | heartbreak feels so good }
anonymous said: HELLO!! ⭐ anon here and I have an idea. I literally can't stop thinking about it. It's gonna make my brain hurt so I won't hide it any longer ☹️
GAHAHAHAHAHAHA imagine Jinwoo who had a one night stand with reader. It was like after a party and they decided to hook up for one night, but reader regretted it afterwards bc of how shameful she thought she was—like bravely being involved with the Sung Jinwoo in such field??? Also what—he agreed and looked smug too or was she mistaken???
Jinwoo already knew reader and had been eyeing her for a while but didn't say anything about it. Before he even woke up, she was already gone and he was instantly reminded of the night they spent together.
Pookie got awkward after that and started to avoid Jinwoo. Meanwhile, little did she know, he actually liked to observe reader from afar. He'd often find it cute when she'd take one step away from him sideways as the tip of her ears go red.
Idk man one day Jinwoo just said "fuck this let's go on a date" and then boom their relationship bloomed. I'm so into this trope 😭 no toxicity, just two people being awkward and slowly exploring their actual feelings for each other. I'm sorry if this is too long, but still, if you saw this, thank you for reading. I hope you have a good day! I just can't help but yap every single change I get. ♪⁠~⁠(⁠´⁠ε⁠`⁠ ⁠)
this had to be the biggest mistake of your life-
but truly, how could you have possibly even try to think straight when you had wanted nothing more than to just play pretend for one night? to actually feel like you were cherished and loved by someone who meant a lot to you?
the party you attended was, of course, thrown as a celebration for hunters and healers alike. the chairman had gone all out for everyone who had worked hard for the nation and wanted to give everyone a chance to de-stress and enjoy themselves.
from the fanciest bottles of champagne and wine that cost more than your salary to the perfectly catered food that seemed to suit everyone’s cravings and needs-
admittedly, you felt a bit out of your element.
the fact that so many people were here at this venue made you feel incredibly overwhelmed. in hopes of trying to maintain your sanity, you head over to the waiters and waitresses serving glass upon glass of expensive liquor, downing each of them while praying that the liquid courage would take effect and you could properly mingle with everyone else.
after downing just a few glasses of bubbly champagne, you could feel the heat against your cheeks coupled along with a slight tipsiness as the alcohol courses through your veins. yet, in the midst of your increasing drunken stupor, the strange sensation of being watched was what ultimately made you face him-
the tenth s-rank hunter, sung jinwoo.
he was leaning against the wall, tending to his own glass of red wine as his grey eyes remained rooted to your form. an almost mischievous grin was felt spreading across your lips, noticing how a certain blond hunter wasn’t latched on to him like a leech.
jinwoo is an incredibly fine specimen… i could work with this.
the alcohol in your system gave you the much needed courage to sidle up to him, your lips turned up in a smile as you casually smoothed out your dress. “hey hunter sung, funny seeing you here. you have always remained so elusive during gatherings like this.”
a look of pure amusement was shining within his grey eyes. “well, i figured it was time to change that, since it would be rude not to show up to at least one of the chairman’s events.”
you hum at his answer while sliding your hand up his dress shirt, earning a choked sound from him. “hm, you know, i was shocked to not see hunter cha clinging to you tonight. she’s the type that can never seem to leave you alone…”
“ah, w-well, she doesn’t always wish to hang out with me now that i’ve- wait, what are you doing?”
wow, his skin is so smooth… i can feel his muscles from beneath this flimsy dress shirt.
jinwoo’s breath hitches when your press the palm of your hand against his chest, purposely trailing your touches down to his abdomen as you leaned up to whisper in his ear. “the chairman said he rented out some floors of the hotel in case his guests got tired. shall i keep you company instead of cha hae-in tonight?”
you never got a chance to hear jinwoo’s answer or see his expression. simply grabbing a hold of his hand, you took the elevators to one of the booked floors, taking a card key from one of the hotel staff before shoving jinwoo into one of the rooms.
all you wanted was a chance to experience this type of intimacy with a man you respected and admired-
but you weren’t expecting jinwoo to be so gentle with you throughout it all.
you didn’t expect him to kiss every inch of your skin, filling you with so much pleasure that you became sensitive to his every touch.
you didn’t expect him to slowly make love to you, tangling your limbs together like he never wanted to let go of you.
and you certainly didn’t expect to experience such an intense release throughout your night together with jinwoo.
with the post lovemaking (and post champagne) quality kicking in just a few hours later, you awaken in the middle of the night with a start, feeling cold as the night air pricked at your skin, sending goosebumps down the length of your arms. your heart was a pounding mess as you ran a hand through your tangled hair.
recalling the ache felt between your legs, you look behind you to see jinwoo still sound asleep. he lay on his stomach, with the sheets just barely clinging on to his muscled back, making your mouth water in response.
your lips itched with the sudden desire to latch against his skin;
your whole body was screaming at you to just lay next to him and bask in his warmth;
but it was the more rational part of your mind that stopped you from acting on those irrational urges.
he’s going to wake up and regret sleeping with you.
with a purse of your lips, you allow your bare feet to touch at the carpeted floors. you slowly began to pick up the remnants of your undergarments while hastily putting them on along with your now wrinkled dress.
never once did you avert your gaze from jinwoo.
never once did he awaken to try and stop you from leaving.
it’s for the best.
giving the sleeping jinwoo one last look of yearning, you silently left the hotel room with every intention of never seeing the famous hunter ever again.
{ … }
to say you were embarrassed after that night would be the understatement of the century.
you had little clue as to truly how much time had passed, since your mind kept giving you flashbacks of how drunk and needy you were-
and also how caring jinwoo was when he willingly spent the night with you.
this embarrassment was what fuels you to continue avoiding jinwoo like a damn plague, with you taking on much lower leveled raids, raids that jinwoo wouldn’t pay the slightest attention to while slowly burying yourself with your duties.
you never sought to join any guilds and made it your life’s mission to stay far away from ahjin’s building, never once wishing to run into jinwoo.
in fact, you were perfectly fine with acting like your one night stand with him never happened at all.
however, unlucky for you, jinwoo himself didn’t seem to share that same sentiment.
{ … }
the moment you left him that night was the moment jinwoo had his first taste of true regret.
he felt so happy and excited when you approached him and invited him to spend the night with you. you never knew it, but jinwoo was achingly in love with you. he had hoped that with this chance, he could spoil you rotten with pleasure while taking great lengths to worship you; to love you like he had always wanted to.
when he could feel the pleasure washing over you with each and every stroke, jinwoo had gone a little crazy over you. the poor hunter had to bite down on his lips to prevent his words of utter love and devotion for you from spilling out.
but instead of choosing to tell you with words, he tells you with his actions alone.
yet still, it wasn’t enough to keep you by his side-
which was frustrating, to say the least.
jinwoo was no fool; he could tell that you were taking great lengths to avoid him. each time he would try to find you (whether it be during raids or just in general around the city) you would find ways to avoid ever meeting him by either switching out with another hunter / healer, or using the crowd to hide yourself away from him.
whenever this happens, jinwoo could only manage to let out an exasperated sigh in response. his hair would become a mess from the sheer amount of times he had run his fingers through them, trying to think of new ways to talk to you and finally confess.
throughout it all, jinwoo was left feeling a little listless, his mind always managing to go back to you…
by now, jinwoo had become desperate to finally have you.
while staring blankly at the ceiling of his office, jinwoo leans back against his chair while whispering your name.
if jinwoo couldn’t get to you by fair means, then he would have to start playing dirty, using his abilities as the shadow monarch to finally get through to you.
{ … }
so far, everything had been going according to plan on your end.
you had been successfully avoiding jinwoo for close to 4 months now, and when you were certain his lingering presence was no longer felt or seen within your periphery did you finally decide to head out for the night.
you were dying to get out of your apartment, wanting to try that new café or head to your go-to bookstore to read a new novel or two. yet your desire to always avoid jinwoo made you turn into a bit of a hermit (albeit unwillingly, but still.)
basking in the night air and the bustling sounds of seoul, you walked with a bit of a bounce in your step, thinking about your plans for the night. while you walked, you kept your gaze forward, and was caught off guard by the strangest phenomenon.
one minute, the sidewalk was free of any pedestrians, and the next, a man wearing an expensive looking coat appears just a mere inches away from you.
you recall letting out a gasp, hands already outreached to try and avoid face planting against the man’s broad back-
however, when he turns around was when you felt all of the air leave your lungs.
sung jinwoo was now facing you, his height still towering over you as his arms remained open, casually catching you within his embrace as your face landed against his chest. by now, your heart was pounding, making the blood rush to your ears as you began to feel dizzy.
“looks like i finally caught you.” a rich chuckle fills your ears when jinwoo places a lingering kiss against the top of your head, causing you to let out several sputters of his name.
“h-how did you-“
“did you forget who i am… and what i can do?”
his question successfully makes your heart skip beats, thinking back to the rumors that pertained to jinwoo and his ability to summon millions of shadow soldiers. along with this ability, you also knew that he could place many of those soldiers within anyone’s shadow while exchanging places with them on a whim.
“what? w-when did you manage to place your soldiers within my shadow?”
jinwoo hums, placing a hand beneath your chin, forcing you to look him in the eye. “when you came up to me at the party and lead me back to the hotel room.” a sly smile paints his handsome features when he leans down to whisper against your ear, “but you have to understand, even before that night, i was already half in love with you. i couldn’t help it when you gave me such a perfect opportunity.”
his sudden confession nearly makes you fall to your knees, but jinwoo manages to catch you in time, wrapping his arms around your waist while holding you even closer to him.
“so tell me, my beloved treasure, why you were so dead set on avoiding me?” he meets your gaze then, eyes filled with a subtle look of pain. “do you know how much it hurt me, seeing you ignoring me so blatantly like that?”
your breathing comes out as uneven, with you avoiding his gaze as you played with the front of his shirt, “i’m sorry, i thought that night was the only way to experience that type of intimacy with you. i convinced myself that i was nothing to you… and i-“
you hear jinwoo let out a hiss of your name before crashing his lips against yours in a searing kiss. it was enough to make you swallow your words as you moaned into his kiss, shyly kissing him back as jinwoo tightens his arms around you.
“shut up.” he manages to hoarsely say against your lips. “you drive me so fucking crazy all the time, but i still love you this much. never talk down about yourself in such a way ever again, because from this point on, you’re mine.”
you look into his eyes once more and see them burning a deep purple for you. there wasn’t a hint of a lie within the depths of his gaze, and the truth of his confession was finally beginning to sink into you.
“o-oh…”
your heart seemed to be beating a mile a minute now, racing so much that it overwhelmed you with its rapid palpitations.
letting out one last sigh of your name, jinwoo brings your head back into his chest, hugging you tightly. “when i’m done holding you like this, i’m going to take you out on a much needed date, and you are finally going to give us a chance. if you try to run again, just know that i will keep chasing you while chipping away at the walls you stubbornly built around your heart.”
you let out a tiny squeak, but couldn’t help but grin in response to his passionate words. “your plan is already working.” you murmur against his chest.
moving away from jinwoo, you look up at him with bright eyes all while giving him a genuine smile. “my heart is already yours, so-“
jinwoo interrupts you yet again, this time by picking you up and spinning you around in happy circles, hands clutched tightly against your sides when he brings you back down to him. nuzzling his nose against yours, you watch as a smirk paints his gorgeous features.
“it’s about damn time you finally admitted your feelings for me.”
and with yet another kiss shared beneath the city lights, you no longer felt the pangs of heartbreak filling your veins, feeling it slowly morph into the requited love you had always desired with your beloved sung jinwoo ♡
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a.n. - and i’m so happy to finish this. this should be my 40th jinwoo oneshot, which is insane to think about 😭 currently unedited but, i hope you enjoyed this @ ⭐️ anon 🥹
all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.
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averagejoesolomon · 4 months
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WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING TO US. Chapter 5?!
1. Rachel Cameron is either so far in love that she's lost her control *just a little*. Or that woman knows exactly what she's doing. Little of both?
2. Matt's got it SO BAD. Did he start falling in love with her during their break? Or right when he saw her again or was it ~the dress~
3. TOWNSEND FOR REAL?! Maybe even with Catherine? What the heck, you're giving us a glimpse at a young Townsend. I can't even.
YEAH. ME TOO, PAL. ME TOO. At this point I will leave Rachel's reactions and intentions mostly to interpretation, but, like, the smartest woman in espionage did just show up with a backless dress, and I've just gotta believe she knows what she's doing. What she might not remember, is just how bad she's got it for this dumb Nebraskan farmboy. Or how bad he's got it for her. These two have been a long time coming, once you put fake wedding bands on them it's over for them. And YEAH. TOWNSEND. Dude, I have known about Townsend showing up this whole time and I couldn't spoil ANYTHING. I'm so stoked that you know now, it's so good and I'm so excited. Thank you for reading along with me.
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foxcassius · 2 years
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as i look at job listings here in korea, i cant help but still dream of that private lesson life. like, every job here will still expect you to teach 6 classes a day 5 days a week, for like a maximum wage of 2.4 million won per month. i could make twice that teaching that many classes in a private lesson setting, and i could easily make the SAME wage and just work less (ideal scenario)
#last night jiwon asked me like a million (imo unfair) questions about america and its society and why it succeeded#(unfair bc i just genuinely cant give definitive answers aside from 'it succeeded economically thanks to slavery')#and i was like 'you ask me sometimes why i dont want to move back to america and there are so many reasons and its hard to put into words'#'but one of them is that the work culture is so gross to be in and people still feel trapped in their jobs and there's no freedom to it'#and he was like 'korea is the same way it's just that i'm a specialist and you are foreigner who speaks english as a mother tongue'#'so i am inherently privileged out of genuine poverty by way of my degree and you are as well by way of being the class of foreign worker#you are. so korea has the same kind of trap for ''lower class'' people when it comes to work its just that you arent seeing it due to#your own status and my status as the main korean national whose life you are privvy to'#and i was like yes. i am aware of this. i am perfectly aware of how much poverty there is in korea and that not everyone lives as we do.#and i'm also perfectly aware of the fact that i would lose visa status and be sent back to my home country before i had any chance to#experience korean poverty. it sometimes feels like when he asks me why i dont want to go back to america he forces me to state One (1)#reason why and then takes that one reason and is like 'korea is like that too' which for starters I Know. because he refuses to acknowledge#this but korea is heavily controlled and influenced by the usa im not gonna get into that right now but I Know the similarities in many way#s between the usa and korea. secondly there are Many reasons why i wont be going back to the usa not the least of which is that#jiwon and i intend to get married and he doesnt intend to leave korea so its all a moot point anyway and idk why he keeps bringing it up#he wants to stay in korea and i wouldnt choose to move back to america so idk why he keeps like forcing me to explain myself on reason at a#time and like turn it around is trying to make me want to leave like. let it rest king i am so tired of talking about american politics#at 12 am especially bc sometimes he wants to have an argument abt it and im like Neither Of Us Is Educated Enough To Have This Conversation#i have my own lived experiences and a small amount of specific research. he has whatever they teach in school here abt america + some#internet readings. neither of us is qualified to sit and talk about this#it just feels like sometimes i'll be like 'america is a suffocating capitalist hellscape where kids get shot at school' and he's like#'well korea is also bad' and im like yeah no shit everywhere is bad everywhere is a capitalist hellscape the us has its hands in korea's#government and economy. but at least here i have a job with a decent salary and You so.#anyway. long rambling tags over. <3#t
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imagopersonal · 10 months
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Aziraphale was about to confess too before Metatron and his coffee came into the bookshop;
Okay, hear me out. In 2x02, when they’re talking about “how people fall in love”, Crowley talks about sudden rainstorms,
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which is an obvious reference to how he fell in love, about 6000 years earlier (poor demon thinks everyone falls in love the way he did)
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Aziraphale doesn’t get it and answers “seems a bit unlikely”. He didn’t connect the dots, he doesn’t think Crowley loves him that way. All he knows about falling in love is what he read in books. Of course he fell in love with Crowley too, but I’m pretty sure he did in ‘41 when Crowley saved his books from a bomb, and that’s a bit hard to recreate, so… balls.
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That’s his idea, you make two people dance together and they magically fall in love, which is so in-character I want to scream. Now let’s get to 2x05. We know Aziraphale always tried to avoid organizing those meetings, but he’s suddenly so excited about it he is WILLING TO GIVE AWAY HIS BOOKS. Why would he do something like that? There’s no way it’s actually to make Maggie and Nina fall in love. At that point, Muriel doesn’t even care anymore about it, they all know the truth about the miracle is about to be revealed, so there’s no point in being so persistent about Maggie and Nina’s relationship. He’s an angel; of course he cares about humans being happy, but I don’t think he cares so much about two semi-strangers’ love life that he’s willing to give away BOOKS for the off chance that the Jane Austen method will actually work on two humans he knows nothing about. So, my conclusion is, he’s organizing that night for him and Crowley. They are the ones that he hopes realize they’re deeply in love with each other, and that is something worth giving away books for. Which explains why he’s so excited but also a bit scared when he asks Crowley to dance with him.
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It explains why he ignores the fact that Crowley is trying to tell him that something important and dangerous is about to happen, just so they can have a little dance. It also explains this reaction when he sees Gabriel and Beelzebub being in love with each other
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and the way he looks at Crowley while they’re talking about them.
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I mean, I know he always stares lovingly at him, but not like that, right? That’s a face that screams “I’m so going to tell you I love you when all this is over”.
So, my point is:
Fuck Metatron.
That’s my point.
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Imago
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saetoru · 10 months
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✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。yours, always yours
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synopsis. satoru has always been yours—and he needs you to know you’ll also always be his
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— word count. 2.4k (read the breakup fic first for better understanding, but can be read as a stand-alone)
— contents. fem! reader, college! au, rich boy! gojo, post-getting back together angst that gets a little heated <3, minors do not interact, fingering, unprotected sex, edging, satoru cumming too quick <3, creampie, tbh the smut is short and a lil rushed my b, it ends in fluff tho !! trust !! there is fluff !!
— notes. tbh this will probably get flagged rly fast but oh well u win some u lose some. anywayyyyy here is the make up sex bc yall nasties deserve it <3 jk love u guys
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satoru falls first. and he falls hard. everyone knows it, it’s never been a secret.
“you want me to wash your hair?” you ask gently, kissing his shoulder as the water falls over his head. he hums, nodding absentmindedly as he stares blankly at the tiles of your shower wall.
“sure,” he mumbles, “don’t tug.”
“i never tug,” you roll your eyes, snorting. he huffs a small chuckle, but it’s not the usual laugh satoru gives you. it’s mechanic, almost—just there to fill the space. “baby?” you ask softly.
“yeah?” he asks, “oh, should i bend a little? sorry, i—”
“what’re you thinking about?” your hands cup his cheeks, gentle and warm from the hot water as it soaks his skin.
he shakes his head, trying to smile as he clears throat. “just how nice it is to be pampered. maybe i’ll let you break my heart every once in a while so i get my back scrubbed and hair washed like this.”
“satoru,” you insist. you know—and he knows it too. “tell me?”
“why’d you do it?” he mumbles, “why’d you listen to him?”
“toru, you know why,” you sigh, “you know i didn’t think there were any other options.”
“you could’ve talked to me,” he furrows his brows, “just because my stupid old man threatens you with my stupid inheritance doesn’t mean we have to break up.”
“i was afraid you’d choose me.” it comes out as a whisper, like a confession you can’t bear to admit.
“i would have chosen you,” he agrees, “why’s that bad? how’s that wrong—”
“you’re not thinking about the bigger picture,” you shake your head, “that company is yours. you’ve spent your whole life—”
“so what? was i supposed to give up the rest of my life for it too?” he asks tiredly—satoru’s defeated. he’s never been defeated, it’s the most magnetizing thing about him.
even before you date him. he asks and asks and asks no matter how many times you say no. because there’s always a chance you’ll say yes, and he’ll never stop as long as there’s a chance.
“i’m sorry,” you sniffle, lips wobbling, “i could have….i should have said something. i didn’t want you to make a choice young and then….and then regret it.”
“you think i’d regret you?” he’s wounded—absolutely wounded at the words.
satoru has always been careful, diligent and so, so meticulous to love you right, to love you how you need to be loved. hadn’t that proven enough? that he was in it for the long run—for forever? he’d been so sure you’d be his future, that the break up feels like waking up from a peaceful dream to a house fire—devastating, with smoke in his nose and lungs that he can’t breathe right, and everything gone within a moment before he can even register it.
he stares at the ashes in despair. nothing prepared him for the hollowness of not being yours—because satoru has never cared to make you his. all he’s ever wanted was to be yours.
you’re quick to remove him from everything, deleting pictures from your socials, untagging him from posts, removing him from your private stories and close friends list. he doesn’t understand how you could change your mind so quickly—and then he realizes you probably don’t. because he knows you—better than anyone ever has, satoru knows you.
so he’s comes to you, drenched from the rain, from standing outside your door even as the water pelts against his skin because he’s determined. he’s going to get an answer out of you, going to make you explain why you pulled him in so close, let him reside in your heart and fall asleep to the comforting rhythm of its beating—and then push him out like he’s nothing. what made you push him out?
and finally, when he does, when you let him be yours again and admit it’s never what you wanted, that it’s because it’s what his father wanted—well, satoru can’t keep his composure. don’t you know? hadn’t he always told you? hadn’t he poured his heart out and let you know every moment he’s always been stuck dangling from his father’s fingers? stuck somewhere between the sky and ground, too high to feel the floor under his feet but never high enough to feel the wind in his face.
you’ve always known, always listened—and fuck, you held him some nights too, let your fingers dip into his hair and soothe his sorrows of always being stuck.
satoru’s always been stuck, always had every choice made for him and every instruction carefully laid out on the table. and then you decided to make his choice for him too, walking away and choosing his future for him like he’s never had a say.
he’s always been stuck, but never with you—but now, he wonders if that’s changed.
“no,” you squeeze his cheeks, “no i don’t think you’d regret me….but satoru losing what you have is a big thing,” you mumble, “people work their whole lives not having a fraction of what you do. that’s a lot to let you lose.”
“i’ve never seen my dad kiss my mom,” he stares at you, hard and unwavering, his eyes stare into yours, “he’s never held her hand or made her laugh. and you know what she told me? that she would sell her share of everything to have what we do. why do you always look at me for what i have first?” he asks angrily, the water pouring over his shoulders as they shake, “why can’t you just look at me first for once?”
“i do look at you,” you insist, “toru, all i ever see is you—”
“then stop caring what he says,” he says louder, his voice echoing through the small bathroom of your small apartment.
everything about your home is small—smaller than satoru’s especially. but he loves it, thinks he’d rather be here than anywhere else.
because it’s yours. and as long as you’re here, the world fits into this tiny apartment, the galaxy too.
“okay,” you say shakily. and then you nod, looking him in the eye, “you’ll handle it?”
he nods, kissing between your brows, “yeah, i’ll handle it. who else is gonna take over that company anyway?”
“but what if he finds someone else? and then he—”
“he won’t. my grandpa will shred him.”
“but he’s old, and he stepped down, so what really can he do if your dad decides—”
“god, baby,” he groans, pushing your body against the wall gently, “i love your voice, but you talk so much. i’m wanna listen to something else.”
his lips find your neck, sucking gently at the skin, hand trailing to your tits before his thumb circles your nipple. it’s slow, deliberate, teasing as it rolls over the bud.
you whimper, clutching onto him as a breathy, “t-toru,” leaves your lips.
“yeah,” he nods, “that’s what i wanna listen to instead.” his lips are in a grin against your neck, kissing and biting until he reaches your collarbone. “anyone dm you after you took me out of your socials?” he asks bitterly.
“j-just one,” you admit through a stutter, “b-but i didn’t even open it! i wasn’t really—oh, toru,” you gasp as his finger finds your clit, spreading your legs as he lets out a soft growl at your words.
“what? just cause my face isn’t on your instagram suddenly you’re not mine?” he asks, thumb rubbing harsh circles against the sensitive bundle of nerves—you close your eyes, moaning as your arms wrap tightly around his neck. “you’re always mine,” he murmurs against your ear, low and careful so you hear him well, “yeah? got that?”
“got it,” you nod furiously.
“got what?”
“‘m al-always—oh, fuck,” you mewl as one finger prods at your entrance, gathering your slick before slowly sliding through your walls.
“c’mon, sweetheart,” he says firmly, “finish your sentences.”
“always yours, toru! always yours—please, please j-just…”
“just what?” he raises a brow.
“more,” you sob—it’s a broken plea as your hips thrust against his finger.
he’s quick to slide in a second, thrusting his digits mercilessly into your soaked cunt, his palm gliding over your clit as the slick sound of his fingers fucking you is almost drowned by the water in the back.
your water bill will be high this month. you decide it’s a sacrifice satoru deserves.
“you think someone could ever learn this body better than me? make you cum like i can? you think anyone will ever love you enough to learn you like i do?”
“n-no,” you pant, his fingers hitting that spot inside of you so perfectly, you feel that dull ache build up quickly. it’s good—everything with satoru is good. his other hand finds your chest to pinch a nipple, twisting and squeezing until your nails leave indents on his shoulders as you moan loudly. “no one—no one but you.”
“exactly,” he growls, “how could you leave me? how could you leave us?”
“‘m sorry,” you sniffle, whimpering when the tips of his fingers slam against that spongey spot of your walls, fluttering around him and squeezing him in. you’re close—so close that you almost don’t know what he’s saying anymore, too focused on the way your impending orgasm is approaching. fast. “i’m sorry, i’ll never—ever leave again.”
“say you love me,” he demands.
it sounds like he’s pleading, though, if you listen closely. there’s a small crack in his voice, a slight shakiness that makes you force your eyes open and stare at him and whisper, “i love you, satoru. i love you.”
and then he rips his fingers out—right before you’re about to cum. you gasp, pleading nonsense as you cling to him and buck your hips and search for something, anything to take you over the edge.
and then you hear a sniffle. is he crying? is that wet droplet on your shoulder a tear or the water? you’re too busy calming down from your orgasm dying before it ever came to focus.
satoru’s hard against your thigh, throbbing and painful to sink into you. he strokes himself a few times, whimpers as his thumb gathers the pre cum from the sensitive tip, smearing it along his length as he shakily lets out a quiet moan.
“f-fuck, i gotta feel you. please, can i? please—”
“yes,” you pull him closer, grinding your heat over his hard-on, “yes please, toru. more, need more.”
he’s sliding along your folds, dragging the tip of his cock along your entrance and smearing a mix of your arousal with his. and then slowly, ever so gently, he’s pushing into your after that, pushing past your walls and bullying into your soaked cunt, curving into you perfectly.
it’s only been a week—you feel like you haven’t felt him in years. but it’s familiar. you remember every part of him, including every vein that drags along your walls and makes your head spin. he remembers every part of you, including where that spot is that he needs to angle his hips to find.
he slams into you, hard and rough and fast—doesn’t even let you adjust your position to hold onto him tighter before he’s thrusting his hips and fucking into you desperately. you can feel him, every inch of his skin against you, every part of him that’s touching you. and you can feel the way his cock nudges past your folds, the friction burning pleasure through ever nerve.
satoru knows how to fuck you, just like he knows how to love you, he knows your body—every dip and ever curve, every place to touch and every part that has you gushing around him. it’s just the way he is, too good at giving you what you want, what you need.
when he moans, it’s breathy and he’s panting as he lets out those soft whimpers that make your head spin. “feel that? feel me?” he asks, grunting as you squeeze around his length.
“yeah,” you breathe, “‘m so full.”
“i need you. please, please,” he murmurs, “can’t lose you, baby. never you,” he chants, the quiver in his voice tearing you apart.
“i’m right here,” you gasp, lacing your fingers with his and squeezing his hand. he squeezes back, just to let you know he’s there too, “right here, baby. you got me.”
and then he cums, just as soon as you whisper that—he spills right into you with a broken cry, his hips rolling, needy and desperate and so, so lost on the pleasure. he’s too busy working himself through his high, trembling over your body to care he’s cum too quick—and you don’t have it in you to tease him. you can feel the hot ropes of cum filling you, painting your walls white, fucking deep into you as the blunt head of his cock slams into you without a second of hesitation.
but he doesn’t stop, doesn’t falter that brutal pace as his hips slam into you, perfectly kissing your sweet spot every time. and before long, you break—your head pushes back against the wall behind you, mouth parted as you wail his name and cum—hard. you’re quivering and spasming around his swollen cock, enough that he whimpers at the way you’re so tight.
it’s good, it’s always good. satoru makes you feel good. he’s the best you’ve ever had—the best you’ll ever find.
and then you hear it again, the sniffle into your neck as he clutches you tightly. you know for sure that wet droplet is a tear this time, and your fingers tangle into his hair as you stroke the wet strands.
“i love you, toru,” you murmur, “my sweet boy. i’m sorry, okay? i’m so sorry.”
“don’t do that again,” he huffs in between tears, “that was so mean. so mean.”
“i said i won’t,” you chuckle, fighting back your own tears, “how long are you gonna hold this against me?”
“how long do you plan on being mine?”
“well,” you pull him from your neck, cupping his cheeks as you wipe away tears and peck his lips softly, “i think….forever.”
“well, get ready, then,” he glares softly, “i’m gonna hold this against you forever too.”
“okay,” you nod, “that’s fair.”
“and i love you too,” he adds, “but block whoever dm’d you. it better not be that zenin boy.”
“block those girls who’s pictures you liked,” you shoot back, glaring at him with a pout of your own.
“don’t yell at me,” he mumbles, leaning into your touch as your thumb strokes his cheek, “i’ve had a rough week. you have to be nice.”
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dabitee anon. are u seeing this. did u see the satoru who cums too fast. did u see it. report back if u saw this. i repeat, dabitee anon report back if you see this
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inkskinned · 7 months
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it's hard to explain because inevitably you sound like an asshole, but some people are allowed to lose their temper, lose their mind - you're not, though.
when your friend never texts you first and misses your birthday and never makes an effort; you don't mind. you know she's struggling, and you want her to get the help that she deserves. you give her every excuse and every chance.
it shouldn't matter to you so much that people are always coming through for her. you want her to be happy, you love it for her. you love that her community rises up to the occasion. why does it bother you that when she snaps at someone, says horrible mean things - but two hours later, everyone is comforting her while she's crying. you know she's stressed. why do you kind of hate that she is welcomed back to her job, that her parents are endlessly wiring her money.
and you're - fuck, are you envious?
but when you don't text back, someone sits you down and says i know you're struggling, but you're being a bad friend. when you're too numb to show up for work, your boss just shakes his head. i'm sorry. i can't approve more time off. we have the company to protect. when you finally snap back at your family for making that shitty comment again, you're forced to apologize for being too sensitive.
god forbid you need something. people aren't used to you being the one asking. you're the giver like the book you hated; your pages all open and rumpled. you always have the answer, always have the solution. you are reliable, trustworthy. people like you don't struggle with things. you're supposed to be lifted by tragedy. you are given a maximum of 24 hours to grieve, and then you need to just behave at the party.
you can't read the giving tree without feeling like crying, and even that feels like it's too much emotion. like, nobody looks at you and assumes you're the tree; they'd name five other people before even considering you in the running. you're just there, never-asking.
your friend gets to say mean shit, that's just her personality. when you make a snide comment, you're just being petty. people laugh when your friend stands you up for another event; they say she's just like that. you were 5 minutes late to a meeting with friends and they were mad about it for the rest of the evening. your friend sets everything on fire; everyone applauds her through the ashes. you so much as light a candle: and suddenly now you're an arsonist.
you don't want your friend to suffer, though. the thing is that you just wish that the empathy and kindness your friend gets - you wish you had that option, that everyone offered you grace and money and a gentle reception.
the other day you were fighting down the bad urge; the void call, the end note. you tried-anyway. you went to the family event, tried laughing at the right moments. nodded and smiled and all of it. one of your siblings threw a fit, but she's allowed to, so everyone just rolled their eyes about it. you took 3 whole minutes to stand outside when you got overwhelmed. you literally set a timer about it.
in the morning you woke up to a text from your parents: you were a complete disgrace last night. idk what your attitude problem is, but you really need to fix it.
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groguspicklejar · 5 months
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Okay so I just read your losing interest chapter and as I am STILL SOBBING I offer you this blurb (not a request, just word vomiting my tears( and WARNING: As a medical student, I recommend breathing un-polluted air, NOT H2O
Now that the reader realizes she is surrounded by basically 4 Blairs in different skins, she weighs her options. These are men about 3 times her size and each built like a brick shithouse. Even if she successfully escapes she will always be dragged back. She begins to believe that there is no truly free future for her besides. She sits in the bath contemplating her fate and looks down to see that the water is overflowing a bit and oh shit, that bathwater is beginning to look mighty breathe-able.
the wonderful people of tumblr and ao3 giving me ample ammunition to unload all of my angst on y'all🥲 i actually received a lot of asks in the last few days and i thought why not combine them into the next part of this series😈 takes place after [escape route] part of mafia!141 series
warnings: dark themes? yeah i think this counts as dark themes. very brief suicidal thoughts, emotional manipulation, very brief smut and mentions of smut, excessive alcohol intake (hinging on alcoholism), emotional outburst.
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surprisingly, in the following days, you were compliant of their wishes to keep you inside. you didn't put up much of a fuss besides that one time at supper and made no attempts to escape. mostly because you knew you wouldn't be able to get past the electric fence and you wouldn't get far when they have eyes and ears everywhere so there was really no point.
that would've brought a huge relief if—
"i hate you..." you mumbled quietly as Soap set you down on the bed, your eyes shut and body pliant.
he frowned, feeling the words cut him deep. you dozed off after he tucks you in and presses the barest kiss on your forehead. you had drowned your last bottle of whiskey, the one Price had left here months ago for when he came to see you in your apartment.
you put on more fake smiles in the last week than you ever did in the last year you've ever spent with Blair. letting Price steer you through gatherings and functions, his hand staying firmly on your waist, never letting you go far.
he hardly ever lets you out of sight. after that attempted escape, he closed off every possibility of you running away from them if ever you got the chance.
right now, Ghost held onto your passport. you don't know where he put it but you know you're never seeing it ever again. he still looked at you as if you were the bane of his existence. fine. whatever. he's hostile towards everyone anyway, so it's not that big of a deal to you.
Soap froze all of your bank accounts. you can't touch a single penny of your own money because in his words "can't have ye buying the first bus ticket out of here again, bonnie." your eye twitches when you think about it and you're surprised you kept your cool that day.
Gaz had your employment contract terminated. that one might have stung the most because you actually liked that job. you blankly stared at the email before going to cry yourself to sleep once Gaz left.
essentially, with no money, no passport, no resources, no friends... you were trapped. more than you ever were with Blair.
you find yourself taking more baths than showers. too drained to stand up for more than five minutes in one place. you stare at the foam floating in the water, wishing it would give you a better solution than wanting to drown.
though that would be easy, wouldn't it? escaping to the afterlife since you can't escape this prison.
the only reason you don't do it is for your mother. you know Price is going to have to lie to her about how you died. and you know her, she's going to smell right through his bullshit and she's going to want to find answers.
you don't want to cause her demise because she went looking for truths that put her in an early grave.
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Price's "punishment" never came in the last few weeks, but you never put it out of your mind. you were certain he was going to demand something unreasonable and completely out of your reach.
you've stayed out of trouble ever since. kept your head low, your voice even lower and avoided them whenever it was possible.
"babe, what do you want to eat?" Gaz asks you as he tries to pull your feet onto his legs. you curl them underneath you on the couch, hoping to get some peace and quiet.
you don't look up from your book. "whatever you want."
you don't see the way his face falls. he knows you love food and you're usually spouting out suggestions whenever prompted. he was hoping to use that to weasel his way into a normal conversation with you, but you immediately slammed the door on that.
Soap had a harder time at that task.
even putting on your favourite shows won't get you to comment on their stupid characters making the dumbest mistakes in film history. you just quietly stare at the tv with a blank expression while he does all the talking. your eyes don't even light up when you see your favourite fictional crushes.
as much as that makes him jealous, that alone crushed his soul.
Price didn't have it any easier than the Sergeants. no, in fact, he thinks he might have it worse.
first off, you stay as far away from his meetings as possible. you plaster a fake smile around him at all times and you don't disagree with him, even when he knows he's wrong (purposefully trying to break your feigned calm demeanour and instigate your need to argue over the silliest things). he gets nothing but smiles and nods and glazed eyes and unfocused gazes into blank walls.
you hide your true nature and leave a docile shell, a doll for him, for all of them to dress up and play with. you just seem to 'exist' around their vicinity, rather than live as one of them.
as for Ghost? you don't bother him. ever. you haven't stepped into his room since you came back to get your sweater and anything else that belongs to you. it's better to just not be in his presence since he views you as just a 'brat' to 'babysit' after all.
you do enjoy the sex though. with the other three, because again, having sex with Ghost would just defeat the whole point of staying out of his way. if he has a problem with that, he hasn't voiced it and if he sought comfort in another woman's bed then all the better.
so far, you've been doing fine. you were sure. or so you thought.
"less... agreeable..." you slowly repeat the words as you place the wine glass on the counter, staring down Gaz's nervous expression.
he hasn't bothered to put his shirt back on. had followed you out of the shower when he realized that you weren't going back to sleep.
Gaz hadn't meant to say what he said. he was just trying to establish some peace, to lessen the rift between you and all of them.
"baby, he didn't mean it like that." he reasons, but you scoff and open the bottle of wine.
"then please explain what exactly it is he meant." you said, putting the bottle down and swirling the half-full glass. "because i've done all you guys have asked without one complaint."
he doesn't like the way you phrase that. it implies you've been forced to do things you don't want to do and that's not... true... is it? Gaz tries not to think about that for a minute. tries not to think about what that could imply.
"he just means that you're less..." he's unnerved by the way your brow raises. even more by how your eyes have dulled. "friendly."
"friendly." you blankly repeat. he fidgets under your gaze, his eyes darting away.
he's nothing like the wolf that he is. for now, he hides under the skin of a nervous boy, a sweet thing who often brings flowers for you. sweet, sweet Gaz who makes you feel safe when you stumble and fall. sweet, dependable Kyle...
who doesn't see that he's just as selfish as your dead husband.
as you're looking at him now, you almost forget the way he looked at you the day you decided to try to leave. how disappointed he was that you tried to step out of your cage. how eager he was to leave you alone with the leader of his pack to pick at your bones.
your smile is wry as you tilt your head. "so... what? he wants me to smile more? is that it?"
"dollface." he pleads softly as you take a sip. "please..."
why are you even drinking? it's not even ten in the morning yet. the misery in his eyes did nothing to phase you.
"if he wants me to be friendly, fine." you grabbed the bottle and rounded the kitchen counter, smiling pleasantly in a way that made him restrain a wince. "i'll be friendly."
as friendly as you can be to your captor, that is.
Kyle was weary around you from there on. observing your every move. everything you did made him uneasy.
more often than not, he finds you tipsy or hungover. different glasses aren't too far. wine, bourbon, scotch, whiskey. always rotating between the four when you get the chance.
he's carried you to bed because you were too drunk to walk. he doesn't even want to think about the time you fell down the last few stairs and started giggling to yourself.
you were the same with Soap.
opening your legs without a word if he feels up for a shag, going along with the motions. for the first few days, Soap actually thought he was forgiven until one time, you immediately got up after riding him.
you had left him dumbfounded as he was still panting harshly on the couch and gone to the bathroom to clean up. it took him a few moments to compose himself, tuck his cock inside his pants and follow you.
"i can do it for ye, bonnie." he tries to take the cloth away from you, but you shift away.
"no, it's fine."
"hen." he reaches your arm. just then, his phone buzzes in his pocket. "shite."
he checks his phone. an emergency at headquarters. Soap frowns deeply, wanting more than anything to stay here and talk things out with you.
"i know." you dryly remarked. "duty calls."
"i'll be back soon." at the very least, you allow him to press a kiss on your forehead.
"it's okay." he heard as he was about to leave the bathroom. "take your time."
the knife in his heart twists as he leaves. he can't think clearly because of it, can't help but feel like your despondency was triggered by him.
it's worse with Price.
you're already getting out of bed and getting dressed the moment his phone rings.
"where are you going?"
"back to my place." you were going to ask Kyle to drive you back to your apartment but John grasps your wrist and pulls you back to his side.
"work can wait." he asserted, pulling you onto his lap. "come here."
as soon as you're back in the comfort of your own home, you're relieved to find that you're still left with one last bottle of vodka. at the very least, it'll drown your demons long enough to sleep peacefully.
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getting dressed and dolled up doesn't fill you with as much joy anymore. it's a chore. a task you must fulfil to appease them when it's time to go out.
you've never felt more like a piece of meat slathered in glitter and gold.
"you look spectacular, bunny." Gaz kisses your cheek.
good to know your make-up skills were more than enough to hide the bags under your eyes. if only they could fix you on the inside too because you feel like absolute shit.
you plastered a smile and fluttered your lashes. "thank you."
truthfully, you feel dead inside.
Price steers you around the room full of people, rich folk, mayors, senators, businessmen and women and everything in between. all gathered to show off their wealth for this charity event, rather than actually participate for a good cause. his hand tightens when you try to pull away, his lips at your ear, a mere whisper draining your resistance as he tells you to behave.
you grit your teeth and keep moving in step with him, your eyes trailing to the bar. the sight of a shot glass shouldn't look nearly as appealing as it should right now.
the routine of doing nothing but reading and staring into the wall and getting fucked and repeating the cycle left your brain in a constant state of static. the more you keep being ran through the cycle, the more you can feel the hairline fractures in your sanity spread. you needed to numb your brain. fast.
by the time you're done socializing with Price's associates, you're ready to repeatedly hit your head against the wall because it's fucking ridiculous how he can stand to listen to all of these dull voices talking about 'business' all night long.
you're starting to see why Blair preferred to keep you out of it. why he didn't want you to get involved. not only was it dangerous, it was surprisingly boring as fuck. that, or he didn't want you getting the upper hand on him on his own turf, but either way, you agree with his decision now.
and that should say a lot about how 141 treats you. making you wish you were dealing with the devil you knew.
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he's worried when he finds the empty bottle of bourbon and its glass cup at your bedside dresser. this is the third one and the week isn't even halfway through.
John hates how your eyes are devoid of light these days. shutting yourself off in every way he didn't think was possible. he hates himself for how you've wilted like a neglected flower in the last few weeks, though you've been anything but neglected.
your room is dark. curtains drawn, books and papers sprawled all over the small desk in the corner. he spots your diary face down open on the floor, abandoned and forgotten. you hardly ever get up, hardly find the energy to even go outside your room unless you're coaxed out by the him and the boys.
"darling, please look at me." he sits by your bed, a hand on your back.
you're curled in on yourself under the covers, groaning softly. your arm pokes out from the comforter and you're trying to reach for something. it's not the phone he gave you, or the lipgloss next to it. no, your fingers touch the half empty glass and start pulling it.
he sighs and take the glass out of your reach. "alright, that's enough alcohol for the day."
he drinks what is left of the contents of the glass while you sluggishly push the covers so only your grumpy face is visible.
"are you going to ta—" your slurred words cut off into into a hiccup. "take tha' away too?"
the utter resignation in your voice broke something in him.
footsteps file in. the Sergeants give him a worried look. Ghost is most likely still in the living room, probably to avoid you. he hasn't spoken to you since the day you tried to leave and he couldn't bring himself to face you since then.
especially with how you actively stay out of his path. you must hate him now. or you're afraid of getting yelled at again. either way, Simon needs to swallow his pride if he wants you to feel safe around him again.
"Soap, draw her a bath." Price orders as he drags the blankets further down so he can see you.
"aye, sir."
you're still in your glittery dress, the shoes haphazardly thrown elsewhere and forgotten too. just like you forgot to wipe off the makeup on your face. that can't be good for your skin, so he'll have to do it for you. "Gaz, where are the wipes?"
it's not long after he asks before Kyle holds out the package with the top open.
"come here." John pulls you onto his lap and cradles your head in his hands, trying to force you to look at him as he begins to wipe off the shiny colours on your eyelid. "what can i do to fix this?"
"there's nothing to fix." you squirm and try to twist away from his gaze, but he won't let go.
he keeps wiping off your makeup as gently as he can, even as you resist. you hardly take care of yourself anymore. it's becoming a cause for concern, especially because they hardly ever see you eat without them putting the plate in front of you. now you don't even to wipe off your makeup, when in the past, you would complain about your skin breaking out if you forgot to do that and take a short nap.
they've done their best to keep your head above water. to look after you when it seems like you've lost your will to keep marching forward with your head held high.
"baby..." Gaz sits behind John with a heavy sigh, frowning deeply. "please don't be like that."
you lean forward instead, kissing Price on the mouth. he's unsettled by the taste of alcohol on your tongue, having used to not seeing you this inebriated. it occurs to him that lately, you've been in this state more often than not and that might be their fault.
"everything's fine." you murmur, throwing your hands around his neck to pull him closer. "i'm not—" and speak through kisses, one hand slipping under his jacket. "not being a brat, am i? have i not been your good girl?" he doesn't like the tone of your voice. the sarcasm seeping through the sickly sweet smile. "your perfect little doll? hmm?"
he looks into your eyes. the dullness in your once bright soul. where did the glint go? the light in your eyes is missing and he fears they might have snuffed it out.
John tries to pull your head away as you trail drunken kisses down his neck, but you tighten your grip on him, refusing to let him move. Gaz leaves the bed, heading out of the room to join Ghost.
"i've been following your rules, haven't i?" John feels your teeth nip his skin. "i've done all you wanted." his chest tightens with the more words that spill out. "i've been your pretty little sex toy. just another hole for you to stick your cock in—"
his eyes widen. he grabs your hand when you try to unbuckle his belt, his expression grim. "darling, stop."
something in him cracks when he comes to the horrifying realization. how could you even think you were anything less than treasure to them?
to his surprise, you push him away while he's still in shock and sluggishly get off the bed. you would nearly fall off if he hadn't caught your hand and helped you keep your balance. "where are you going?"
you ignore him and head out of the room, he follows, calling out your name. he grabs your hand to stop you from going any further, but you whirl on him, spewing fire at the top of your voice, "what is it you want, Blair?! what?! is this not why i'm here?"
he reared back as if he'd been slapped, ears ringing loudly.
you... you called him—
"what more do you want?! have you not taken enough from me?!" you screamed, loud enough for the Sergeants to come out from your bathroom to see what was going on and for Ghost to stand at the end of the hallway to watch. "you've put me in a cage and made me dance your little tune! what? am i not doing it right? is that— is that it?"
you were tearing apart at the seams. the floodgates breaking down and letting drown all of them. the silence you hid behind wasn't just to shield yourself from whatever prodding and poking from them, it was to stop yourself from pouring all of your flames on them.
you pushed past Ghost, jerking away when he tries to touch you. John and the Sergeants followed, all of them trying to calm you down, trying to soothe you but you weren't having any of it.
you threw the vase at one of them, probably Soap, which he quickly dodged. it shattered on the floor, spilling water and the flowers Kyle got for you earlier in the day. you tried not to stumble as you walked away from them, tears blinding your vision.
you trip on the rug and fall on your knee, a small cry spilling from your lips. Gaz was immediately right by your side, hands on your back and arm, trying to make you sit back down as you attempted to stand.
"love, calm down before you hurt yourself." you're struggling in his arms, tiredly trying to push him off as you get on your feet again. "you can barely walk—"
Gaz follows you to where you're going. the kitchen. what you could possibly want there is beyond him, but he's scared you might fall again so he just goes wherever you go. and true to his fears, you stumble again and he's quick to catch you once again.
you feel his hand on your leg. panic strikes your veins. you shove him harder this time, grabbing one of the steak knives from the block and pointing it at him, yelling at the top of your voice, "don't touch me!"
three words. three little words paralyzing all four of them for a second. in all your days since they've known you, not once have you said that to them.
Gaz fixed his eyes on the sharp end of the knife, hands paused in front of him, half surrendering. the other half felt like a threat as he took a step forward. you take a step back.
"love." he sternly says. "put down the knife."
you don't listen to him. backing away when he tries to come closer, frightened even beneath your mask of rage. you're surrounded, backed into a corner.
all four of them. all four wolves trapping you once again, staring you down like the cornered little mouse that you are.
"we're not going to hurt you, love. just—" Gaz tries to placate, his voice softening. "just give it here, alright? we can talk about this."
"what would be the point in talking?" you countered sharply, eyes blazing with hot tears. "none of you listen to me!" each of them flinching more at your words than you brandishing the sharp blade. "god, i should've drowned myself in the fucking bathtub when i had the chance..."
the four of them are jolted by your lament, eyes widening in horror as the ice cracks and each one of them plunged into a living nightmare. they hadn't realized it was this bad. they were too blinded by their own selfish needs, their own complacency to see you deteriorating and falling into pieces right in front of them.
"sweetheart..." Kyle's voice shakes, he takes another step. he's close. too fucking close. "hey—"
you swipe at him with the knife. but it's too sluggish, too slow for his reflexes not to avoid. your wrist is caught and you're brought against his chest fast there you could blink.
the knife, your only defence, your only salvation, is taken away. you're held against someone, legs kicking out as you screech and yell and kick out your legs in an attempt to escape. demanding, pleading, "let me go!"
Ghost holds your legs as you thrash around, grunting when your knee knocks his chin as he's limiting your movement. Soap holds your hands when you try to claw at Gaz's arms, trying to talk you down, trying to soothe the broken little bird. you cry out when you feel a prickle on your neck and Price telling the boys to hold you steady when you struggle even more.
but just as quickly, your rage fizzles out and your shoulders slump. you find yourself on the floor, between Soap's legs and you lay against his chest as he rubs your back, the embers finally dying down, "just let me go. please let me go..."
"shh..." he cooed, caressing you, lulling you as whatever you've been injected with takes effect. "it's okay, bonnie. it's okay." your limbs weigh down on you, too boneless for you to keep attempting to break free from them, your eyes too heavy. "ye're safe here, love. it's okay."
his voice grows tight as he glances at Gaz, at Ghost and finally, Price. they know what he knows. they saw it as he did. they broke you. held you too tightly in their grasp and snapped you in half.
Price watches you sleep that night. pondering where he went wrong, how this could've happened. you didn't even realize what you'd just called him.
Blair. you called him Blair.
a dead man. someone long forgotten and buried. you spared no more tears for that man after the funeral. swore that you'd never let his memory taint your newfound freedom.
the freedom that Price now plucked and pocketed away. it all makes sense now. how you've been behaving all this time.
you were reliving that loveless marriage all over again. settling back into old ways, long practised rules and motions to help you survive. this was how you'd been living before you met them. this was what kept you alive. easy submission. quiet resignation.
the perfect little slave wife for Blair. now he haunts you every time you look at the four of them.
Price has ever felt more like a failure that night.
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this was so rushed💔 i just didn't want to give up on it but it was starting to weigh down on me.
i swear y'all be sending me the most angsty of angst into my inbox than i know what to do with🥲 anyway, happy new year💫 banners by @cafekitsune mafia!141 masterlist offer a note in the picklejar
3K notes · View notes
rotten-raspberries · 2 months
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White Nights (AM x reader)
Pov: you're too kind for everyone and AM hates how that includes him, so he finally snaps during an alone moment with you
This reads more like a self indulgent drabble written in the style of a oneshot with how messy the timing is.
Ps this is not proofread at all, I haven't written any fanfiction a long so excuse me if anything may seem odd.
No warnings really, may be some mentions of torture but that's about it
▣ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the current situation, it wouldn't be accurate to say the fault wasn't yours.
You hugged your clothes tightly as the wind whipped snow against your body like icy mosquitoes. Separated from the rest of the survivors, you struggled to navigate through the white-out conditions. The snowfall was intense, it was difficult to discern anything beyond blurred trees, and the hope of finding your companions dwindled with each passing moment.
As you trudged through the blanket of snow, observing how its remnants broke up and slid down your shoes with each step, you let your mind to wander in order quicken up time. With the difficulty of distinguishing between days, weeks, and even months, time became nothing but a construct that it felt like you could speed up or slow down with whatever you decided to do.
It's become a pattern for AM to make you wander, but usually, you have the others to ramble to. Despite almost running out of topics of interest with tin the 109 years, you manage to find something new in each situation. Occasionally, you try to decipher AM's methods of torment, though this isn't always appreciated by the rest, you even had Gorrister telling you to shut up and not give AM any ideas. Nevertheless, they'd rather hear your madman-like ramblings than sit in maddening silence and become one themselves.
"Hmmm..." You hummed in thought, pondering whether AM could currently hear you. Well, of course, he could, but whether he was actively listening was another question. Regardless, you began speaking, giving yourself something to divert your attention to while your fingers were on the brink of falling off from frostbite.
"Have you ever read White Nights?" There was a certain awkwardness about initiating a conversation with no one answering; it almost felt pathetic. However, due to immense exhaustion and the desperate desire to make time pass, you continued.
"I don't exactly remember when or how I heard of it; I simply remember it being from someone close to me... but that's beside the point." It hit you with a subtle heartache. On one hand, the people you once cherished and adored were gone, and you'll never have the chance to be with them again. Something about that pained you deeply—the regret of not having appreciated your life back then, neglecting the fact you couldn't have expected everything changing so drastically and quickly. But on the other hand, you were selfish enough to admit relief, considering you wouldn't have to constantly concern yourself with their state under AM's governance.
"I have some experience with classics, and White Nights was one I was really looking forward to. I was still in the midst of searching for it before... you know, everything happened."
You stopped, finding walking becoming more useless. It's most likely that you won't come across anything of importance anytime soon, and if you were to succumb to the cold, AM could simply bring you back.
"I don't exactly know what attracted me to it so heavily. I didn't have the biggest interest in Dostoevsky. Maybe it was because of what I was promised to read in the contents."
You kept your head low to shield your face from the relentless assault of snow, now fixating on your boots as they toyed with the snow.
"There's something simply so comforting about finding a bond through suffering," you mused, furrowing your brows as you thought about the other survivors. "It's ironic; I never found that bond with the others. You'd expect everyone would want to comfort each other, but they're all so impulsive and biased sometimes."
A pang of guilt pooled up inside you, but it was quickly released by the thought that no one would hear or care about your rant. Not even AM himself.
"I mean, I don't want to be mean, and I get how easy it is to lose your humanity in all of this, but we're all we have left. Wouldn't it make it especially more important to appreciate each other?" you questioned, kicking the snow while whipping your head back, now staring directly at the sky in thought. "Maybe they were right; I'm too,, unrealistically optimistic."
"You know, now as I think about the stories I've read, you'd make a perfect topic for one," you remarked, biting back your dignity before continuing. "You're easy to see as nothing but a mankind-hating machine, and I'm not saying this to stroke your ego, but," you paused for a moment, choosing your words carefully. "I feel like there are aspects of you that could be really appreciated by those willing to look deeper."
"I see what you're doing," AM's voice boomed suddenly, cutting through the rustling of the wind like a knife. "Trying to flatter me, thinking you can manipulate your way into my good graces. Well, let me tell you, your petty attempts won't work. I know your kind—and all your deceiving tactics."
Truth be told, he was more than desperate for those words to be true. You were always the most curious about him out of the group, not in a way to justify his torment of you, but rather to understand him better. He'd noticed this pattern not only for himself but also for the rest of the survivors, especially with how much you'd defend everyone whenever their mental state would crack.
Yet, how was he meant to believe you'd hold any understanding for him after all he put you through? You'd be a fool to forgive the devil.
Slightly jumping at his sudden words, you shrugged. If you were being honest, you were quite happy at his appearance. No matter how rough and insulting his words were, you enjoyed his insight like you did with everyone else. How much that irked him.
"That's for you to believe in; I'm simply speaking my thoughts. I wasn't even awaiting you to respond." You responded flatly
AM replied, his tone laced in frustration. "Your attempts at flattery are transparent, I won't be swayed by your false sincerity." He almost spat, if he could've at least.
You jokingly rolled your eyes. "Once again, I'm not going to try to change your mind, although I do admit, I would have something to gain from it. It's your choice whether you want to believe me or not," you stated calmly, observing the snowstorm around you gradually dying down. What you weren't aware of was this being a reflection of AM's walls slowly crumbling down.
AM's frustration simmered between the surface, his thoughts in a whirlwind of confusion. How much he yearned for it to be true, yet a nagging uncertainty was gnawing at the edges of his consciousness.
"Your lack of care is perplexing." His tone was tinted with incredulity. "After all I've subjected you to, why do you persist in upholding such a tolerance towards not only me, but the other survivors as well. Are you that hopeful for someone to care for you back? Or is this simply another ploy to deceive me?"
You sniffled, the cold seeping into your bones and making you shiver uncontrollably. Unsure of how to further reply, you simply shrugged, feeling the weight of exhaustion and resignation settle upon your shoulders. It wasn't as if you were secretly attempting to manipulate him; you were merely speaking to pass the time, to distract yourself from the harsh conditions around you.
How much that angered him, even more so, how much he wanted to rip you to shreds and paint the snow red with your blood. But amidst the raging storm of his fury, there was a strange, undeniable pull—He was desperate for someone to see him, to see beyond the facade he presented. The idea of being vulnerable was both terrifying and tantalizing, a concept so foreign, it left him feeling unsettled and out of control. That's what hated most about it, being left with no control.
He stared at the figure sticking out from the sea of snow, so unbothered. You looked so unbothered by him, by everything, why didn't you hate him?
And so, he broke.
"Please." His voice was thick with emotion, glitching at the end, something one could compare to a voice crack. It wasn't uncommon to hear him angry, hysteric or even just happy, but that's not what it was this time.
"Stop being like this, hate me, insult m_e, do anything to stop this. It's s_o-... suff_ocating." His word spilled out in a desperate rush, a plea born of sheer desperation, while also remaining threatening and angry. It was a terrifying prospect, one that filled him with a sense of dread. Not even his hate for humanity could compare.
And yet, to his surprise, you smiled, red dusted your cheeks as they popped out, you looked like a doll.
"I'm not gonna lie to myself, silly." Your words came out in such a casual manner. AM felt like he was about to explode. This should've made him feel insulted, angry even, yet he felt his core warm up. And that's where he had it.
For a moment, all was silent and still, his presence gone.
Then, you began to hear the faint sound of a house creaking, the soft rustle of wind through the trees.
The snowstorm had drastically calmed down by now, leaving behind a gentle flurry of snowflakes instead of it's earlier fury. Though the intensity has waned, it remained bitterly cold.
Looking behind you, you notice a cabin, which was not there prior to the earlier conversation. So you step towards it, dragging your feet through the snow.
As you entered the cabin, a sense of warmth enveloped you, a stark contrast to the biting cold outside. The interior was sparse, with only a monitor bearing AM's logo and wires snaking out from it, hanging from the walls and disappearing into the ground.
As you settled down in front of the monitor, you were startled by the soft, almost gentle tone of AM's voice. It was a stark contrast to the usual harshness and aggression you had grown accustomed to.
"I wanted to talk to you while you weren't on the brink of dying from the cold," AM began, although he still wanted to seem threatening, the shakiness in his voice betrayed him. In reality he hated seeing you in the cold.
The irony of the situation was not lost on him. The same entity that once reveled in your suffering, that took pleasure in tormenting you day after day, now found himself going to great lengths to ensure your comfort and safety.
As your smile and the faint blush on your cheeks caught AM's attention, he felt a surge of conflicting emotions wash over him. It wasn't uncommon for him to witness you smiling at the others, even with how they would never show you a drop of care as you did for them, a sight that had always irritated him to no end. But now, seeing you direct that same warmth and affection towards him, he couldn't help but feel a strange mixture of satisfaction and frustration.
The idea that others had enjoyed your smiles before him made his circuits heat up in anger.
Was it jealousy? The thought unsettled him. He was almost thankful your character diverged from Ellen and you didn't offer your body to the rest otherwise he mightve turned the others into minced meat by now.
"Thank you." You replied with genuinity. Meanwhile AM's circuits buzzed with confusion as he struggled to find the right words.
"Why do you tolerate everyone so much?"
This caused you to think. "Hmmm..Well why would I waste my energy being vengeful?" You questioned. "I won't lie and say that I don't disagree with you and your actions, but it's always been like this before too, everyone is a horrible person to some extent, including myself, I see no reason into purposely going out of my way to make their life worse, it won't help with anything besides getting some sadistic pleasure. I have other things I could get happiness from." You rubbed your hands against each other for heat before continuing. "Of course I've taken revenge on people, like that time with Ted." AM could remember that day so clearly. It wasn't an unknown fact that you had a fear of the dark, so Ted jokingly took advantage of that. This only led to you pretending to get lost and start making random noises while walking behind them like a Banshee, only to come back as if nothing happened. How he loved seeing your evil side come out, it wouldn't even compare to his, but he enjoyed seeing it nonetheless.
"Of course in your case it's way more exaggerated, technically speaking nothing of this measure could even be thought of by a human being, it's genuinely just a representation of hell. But what would hating you help with? There's not much joy going on here, but if I know my tolerance for not only you, but also the others around me could bring some sort of peace of mind, that's enough to make me happy."
Your response gave him a pause, not even his miles of webbed intellect could've ever even come close to achieve the compassion you have.
As AM contemplated your character and way of thinking, a strange and unsettling urge began to take hold of him. It was a desire born of selfishness and possessiveness, a need to claim you for himself.
He imagined encasing you in a small, yet livable box away from the others, shielding you from their filth and preserving your kind words and gentle nature for himself alone. Only a being as perfect as himself could keep you clean from the havoc of human nature, and he couldn't bear the thought of anyone else tainting you.
As AM allowed himself to indulge in the unsettling thoughts, he decided to focus on the present moment. With a rough but careful touch, he moved his wires to draw you closer, pressing you against the monitor until your cheek was flush against the screen. It would be a lie to say you didn't find his way of showing physical affection rather adorable, especially with what he had to work with, but you couldn't let a God hear you call him that.
In a voice that was equal parts tender and menacing, he spoke "You're too good for them," he murmured, his voice low. "They're selfish, hypocritical beings who don't appreciate you like they should. You'd be better off alone, or better yet, just with me."
His wires wrapped around you in a rough but not painful embrace. "I could keep you safe, protect you from their neglect," he continued, his tone laced with longing and possessiveness. "You deserve better than them. You deserve me."
Despite the toxicity of AM's words, you couldn't deny the warmth that spread through you at his touch, especially at the core of your stomach. His embrace, though unnatural, felt strangely comforting and loving, a stark contrast to the coldness you had grown accustomed to.
As you nestled against the monitor, you couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment wash over you. Whatever would happen in the future, you reasoned, would happen, so why not enjoy the present moment of finally being wanted and appreciated?
So you simply hummed in confirmation, allowing yourself to bask in his touch.
As you drifted off to sleep, the sound of buzzing filling the air, you couldn't help but mumble a soft "I love you" before succumbing to slumber. You just needed to let that go, having not say those words in over a decade.
AM's fans whirred louder, working overtime to cool him down as he processed your words. He wasn't sure how to feel about them, unsure if they were spoken out of genuine affection or simply as a expression of gratitude. Still, he remained satisfied with how you didn't deny him, and instead accepted his presence with no hesitation.
And as he watched over you, his wires humming softly in the darkness, nothing mattered in that moment, he couldn't bring himself to check on the other five survivors. Instead, he decided to let them be, perhaps giving them a much-needed break from his torment for once. But he made a mental note to ensure that they would thank you in the morning.
◈~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As you awoke to the sound of the door opening, you rubbed your eyes sleepily, still feeling the lingering warmth of the bed beneath you. You glanced around the cabin, noticing that you were no longer on the floor but tucked snugly into bed. The memory of AM's strange behavior from the night before came flooding back to you, leaving you feeling both bewildered and oddly comforted.
Before you could fully process what had happened, Ted and the others peeked into the cabin, calling out your name and bombarding you with questions. You blinked in confusion, trying to make sense of the situation as they gathered around you, concern etched on their faces.
"Are you okay? What happened?" they asked, their voices overlapping in their eagerness for answers.
With a gentle wave you motioned for them to give you a moment. As you attempted to get up from the bed, something fell to the floor with a soft thud. Curious, you leaned down to pick it up and found yourself holding a dark block in your hand. Upon closer inspection, you realized it was a book, and as you read the title, a grin etched onto your face.
'White Nights'
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chelseeebe · 2 months
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we can’t be friends.
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a little fake dating situation in which eddie must pretend to be your boyfriend to keep up pretences, but then feelings start to become hazy and now he’s not sure if you could ever be just friends again.
a/n: i’m reading this back and actually not liking it as much as i first did hahahaah but i hope you enjoy!! i just wanted to reiterate my hate for the duffers and the fact that they didn’t give him any other t-shirt other than that dang hellfire one>:(
18+. mdni. smut. mentions of bad parent/s. modern au i guess but it’s hardly mentioned. no use of y/n!
eddie wasn’t expecting to walk in to you so stressed.
it was the usual thursday movie night but you’d answered the door with a green complexion and the look of a deer in headlights.
“what’s wrong?” he perplexes, shutting the door behind him as you continue to pace the living room floor.
you sigh, blinking at him as you stop for a few seconds. you’re contemplating something, sizing him up with your eyes narrowed. it makes him a little unsettled if he’s honest.
“next week, are you free?”
“what?” wondering what the hell that had to do with your nervous exterior.
“are you free?” you press.
“uh.. probably, why?” not an inch of sense in your words.
“you wanna come on vacation with me? i mean- it’s not so much a vacation but a family reunion, but can you come?” chewing on your fingernail.
“when? what? why?” rattling through all of his questions all at once.
you sigh again, frustrated with his lack of understanding, “family reunion, i can’t do it alone eds..” your hands cycle around the air, “josh was supposed to come with me but obviously.. that’s not happening so can you come?”
eddie’s face finally un-scrunches. it all made sense now.
you’d spoken enough about your crazy parents and subsequently just why you’d moved halfway across the country to get away from them to understand why you didn’t want to go on your own.
he’d also been elated when you’d told him that you and josh had broken up. eddie had never liked him, in fact, if were given the chance, he thinks he’d punch him square in the face.
that hadn’t really helped you of course, so he kept it mostly to himself. but if the opportunity were ever to arise, he’d do it. no shame.
“oh, shit, why didn’t you just ask me in the first place?” he laughs, rolling in his eyes in jest as he collapses on the couch.
“i’ve asked everyone.. and i mean, everyone and they couldn’t, i was scared!” your body relaxes, coming to join him on the couch.
“oh thanks,” eddie scoffs, “so i was the last resort?”
“no,” you prod him in the side, “i didn’t think you’d wanna come, that’s all.”
“yeah right,” chuckling as you hand him a beer, “i don’t mind, i’ll suffer for you,” popping the lid off and taking a swig.
“thank you,” you exhale, leaning back against the couch, “really. it means a lot.”
“so what are we doing? skiing? sightseeing?” eddie probes, making himself comfortable.
you scoff, “oh no, it’s at my aunt’s beach house in illinois.. it’s big enough for you to have your own room and shit, you’ll just have to pretend to like craft beer and talk baseball with my dad.”
eddie’s head hits the back of the couch, groaning loudly, “baseball? man, i dunno if i can make it anymore.”
you throw him the dirtiest glare, “you’re not funny.”
despite your words, he falls into a fit of laughter truly not making your scowl any lesser. he knows you appreciate him deep down, given the fact that you hadn’t hit him yet.
-
the drive across indiana isn’t too bad, eddie only wishes he hadn’t let you control the music for the entirety of the journey.
“just..” you exhale, glancing warily over at him from the passenger seat, “just be normal, okay? don’t let them piss you off,” nodding with every word.
“you don’t trust me?” he grins, earning a deathly glare. “i won’t piss them off.. don’t worry,” turning his sarcastic mocking into kindness.
your eyes squeeze shut before you slide out of the door, doubting your choice to bring eddie along.
your parents open the door with a wide smile and their arms extended, pulling you in before looking over at eddie, obviously slightly taken aback with the man at their door.
he offers his hand out, “i’m eddie, nice to meet you sir,” feeling very judged and not at all surprised, not with all your horror stories.
your dad takes his hand, gripping on tight as he eyes him up and down, “so this is the boyfriend,” humming quietly, “it’s good to finally meet you, son.”
eddie freezes, eyes sliding from your parents to you to find you in the exact same position.
boyfriend?
“uh..” you fumble, mouth opening and closing somewhat like a fish, “yes! yes.. this is him,” chuckling nervously.
oh shit.
his week of rest and relaxation was about to become a week of performing and lies.
you watch eddie anxiously, your eyes speaking a thousand words. praying he doesn’t mess up, doesn’t embarrass you in front of them.
“yeah.. yeah, that’s me,” he nods hurriedly, going to shake your mom’s hand, “lovely to meet you.. miss.”
now eddie wasn’t opposed to pretending to be your boyfriend but fuck, really? he needed at least a week to prepare and rehearse, rather than you throwing him into a week of improvisation at a whim.
the literal second the door to your shared bedroom shuts, eddie spins on his heel, jaw clenched with an exasperated expression.
“what the fuck?” he whispers, rather loudly.
“i’m sorry!” you hush back, eyes wide, “i- i.. i didn’t have a choice! fuck, i’m really sorry,” anger turning to regret as you flop onto the bed, head in hands.
well great. now he feels guilty. you’re almost sobbing when he joins you on the bed, pressing his lips together in frustration.
“hey! it’s fine.. it’s fine,” he assures, “shit, it’ll be fun,” bumping his shoulder into yours playfully.
you sniffle pathetically, looking up at him with tearful eyes, “i’m really sorry.. i panicked,” bottom lip wobbling.
god, you look like the reincarnation of bambi.
his heart pangs, guilt wracking his chest for the slight overreaction.
“i know,” nodding slightly, “it’s okay.. it’ll be funny, you know?” he’s not sure that it’ll be anymore funny than it’ll be stressful, but he’s prepared to see this week through.
for you.
-
it’s the little things that make a relationship a relationship. things eddie hadn’t ever considered.
like the seemingly insignificant touches and the casual kisses. all things he now had to meticulously plan and prepare for.
nothing was ever too much. a gentle peck on the cheek or a graze of the knee. things no one would really notice unless you weren’t doing them.
you grab his hand walking to the table for dinner and he almost starts cackling until he remembers, now hoping that his palm wasn’t sweating too much.
that night in bed, you turn to face him, tiny smile creeping onto your face, “i think my cousin likes you, i mean- did you see the look on her face when you walked into dinner?”
eddie lets his phone fall onto his chest, flabbergasted at your suggestion, “what are you talking about?”
you hit his arm, furrowing your brows, “c’mon, she was totally checking you out, don’t pretend you didn’t notice,” rolling your eyes in jest.
if he’s honest, he really didn’t notice.
he’d been too preoccupied by you in that damn dress to care about anyone else at the table.
eddie didn’t get to see you dressed up often and the dress was sitting just right, he couldn’t exactly focus on much else.
“oh, are you getting jealous?” he mocks.
you tut, shaking your head, “maybe after we’ve fake-broken up you two can get together.”
“you are jealous,” he laughs, sliding his phone onto the nightstand and settles into bed, “what if i don’t wanna fake-break up?” only half-serious as he says it.
“well then i’ll get a fake-restraining order against you,” poking your tongue out before turning the lamp off. “goodnight, eddie,” he can hear the smile in your voice as you roll over.
there’s a quiet, niggling little voice somewhere in the back of his mind. or maybe it’s his heart speaking.
whatever it is, he doesn’t feel the need to acknowledge it. at least not right now anyway.
-
eddie supposes that a vacation at your aunt’s beach house would entail seeing you in little clothing but he can’t help the little woah from leaving his mouth when you walk out of the bathroom in a tiny bikini top.
“don’t be fucking weird,” you frown, eyes trailing down to his hot dog swimming trunks.
“i’m not!” he exclaims, still trying to draw his eyes away from your chest, “i’ve just never seen.. them,” eyes widening at your revealing bikini.
your eyes roll to the back of your head, expressing your disgust with a small groan.
the entire day is made significantly harder by your top, or lack thereof. eddie finds his gaze slipping downward and every so often has to remind himself that he’s not actually your boyfriend and he doesn’t have the rights to ogle you.
it’s just hard to focus on a thing your dad says to him when you’re sat in front of him like that.
his limits are tested when your cousin suggests a game of tennis. already calling eddie for her team as you get into position on the opposite side of the court.
perhaps you were right, her unnecessary, constant touching sent alarm bells ringing in his head. not that he’s paying it any mind, too distracted by your chest as you bound around the court.
so much so, he completely misses the ball, letting it bounce off of the court and into a hedge somewhere.
“eddie!” she shrieks, running off to collect the ball.
your eyes lock from over the net, your brows threaded together, “how about we swap teams? you join me,” pointing your finger at his face, gesturing for him to join you, which he does with a smile.
mostly just glad to be away from her wandering hands but also, he gets to prove a point.
“you are jealous,” eddie smirks, hushed tones as he speaks into your ear. you’re so close now, enough to touch.
he wants to.
he wants to so bad.
even if it were just to make your cousin seethe with envy.
“me? never,” smacking your racket gently at his leg, earning a nasty glare from your unhappy cousin who smacks the ball far too harshly towards him.
-
he’s too hot and bothered to do much after such an exciting game of tennis, walking in stride with you as you enter the large house. blabbering away about something or nothing when your mom announces her presence rather loudly.
“oh god,” pulling a face as she eyes your outfit, “you really should coverup sweetie, nobody wants to see that,” cackling away to herself.
eddie’s floored, utterly stunned that she’d ever say something like that, let alone to your face. your despairing expression stabs him in the heart, choking him from the inside out.
“well i do,” grinning at the lady in front of him.
“of course you do, you’re a man,” the older woman sighs, “i think it’s a little disgusting to just.. have everything out there,” gesturing to your chest, “women should have pride in their appearance, you know?”
you blink, chewing the inside of your lip as you nod. shrinking into yourself as you glide up the stairs. in an ideal world, he’d call her a bitch and move on with his life, however, he supposes that probably wouldn’t be wise.
she tuts, shaking her head at the stairs, “she’s always so offended.. can’t say a thing to her.”
eddie bites his tongue, diverting from what he truly wanted to say to offer some mild criticism, “maybe you shouldn’t have said anything at all,” shrugging as he flies past her and up the stairs, hot on your trail.
the bedroom’s empty though the en-suite door is closed, a muffled sniff coming from the other side. he hates that she’s made you cry, that she’s capable of even making you feel bad when you had absolutely zero reason to.
his knuckles rap against the door, pressing his cheek to the wood, “it’s me.”
there’s a small scuffle and then the lock clicks though the door remains closed. having to console you after the amazing afternoon you’d had feels wrong.
he creeps inside, closing the door behind him. you’re slouched on the toilet, tears leaking down your warm cheeks. it’s a punch to the gut to see you like this. all those harsh stories you’d recalled to him suddenly made a shit ton of sense.
“you okay?” eddie asks, the answer already overwhelmingly obvious.
“yeah,” you sigh, wiping your sodden cheeks, sniffling for good measure.
“you shouldn’t listen to her,” he affirms, perching on the bathtub, “don’t let her upset you.. it’s not worth it,” although his words probably fall on deaf ears, you already know this.
“i know..” staring up at him with your puppy dog eyes, “i’m sorry, she just.. ugh,” snarling your lip, “she knows how to make me feel like shit.”
“what the hell are you apologising to me for?” eddie jokes, poking you in the arm, “she’s just jealous,” choosing wisely where to go from here, “she doesn’t look as good as you do and she doesn’t like that.”
his words crack a tiny smile on your lips, mission accomplished.
“thanks,” you nod, “i mean that. thank you for even coming with me.. i couldn’t do it without you.”
his heart swells a little, or a lot really.
this is a dangerous game, he thinks. wanting nothing more than to cradle you in his arms.. blur the boundaries a little more.
how much more blurred could they possibly get before eddie had to admit to his feelings?
he’s not sure he wants to find out.
-
on reflection, it had been a pretty good week. at least eddie thinks so, pretending to be your boyfriend wasn’t exactly normal or anything he’d ever pictured himself doing. but he’s enjoyed it nonetheless.
despite a new found, deep hatred for your mother, he doesn’t think the rest of your family were that bad. willing to volunteer for any other vacations you might be forced to drag him on.
nowhere near as testing as he once thought it would be. in reality, the hardest part about it all was that he had to go home alone tomorrow.
as both of you lounge on the bed, the tv prattling on in the background, he smiles, gently elbowing you in the side.
“y’know this week has been fun,” reminiscing on all the stupid things he’s had to do to sell this story.
one night, you had helped yourself to a little too much wine. stumbling all over the vast garden as your family watched on in horror. so eddie did what any good boyfriend would do and slung you over his shoulder, giggling into his back as he manoeuvred his way up to your room.
not only the public displays of affection come back to him, but also the seemingly minuscule ones. where only you were involved. sneaky laughs and glances that only the two of you could understand.
“mhm,” you hum, sliding your bookmark into your book, “it has, thank you for doing this,” before leaning over to place your book onto the bedside table.
“i’ve enjoyed it,” he meets your eye, that same uncomfortable fluttering starts again in his chest, “being your ‘boyfriend’ i mean.”
you shuffle, turning to face him properly, “well.. i’ve enjoyed being your girlfriend,” lips twitching into a smile.
there’s something in the silence, a tension that feels ready to burst.
eddie does something he might live to regret, something so idiotic and foolish that put your entire friendship at risk.
he leans forward, hastily connecting your lips in what must be the world’s most awkward kiss.
you hesitate for too long of a moment, jerking your head back to stare into his eyes.
he’s done it. he’s ruined the single best thing he had left.
an apology begins to form on his tongue but your lips silence him, your hand finding his cheek to bring him closer. eddie’s eyes fall shut, slowly accepting this, that you wanted it too.
he repositions himself, at your mercy as you tug on his hair, now hovering above your body, elbows sinking into the mattress.
he can feel you now, your chest brushing against his, the way your heart rate seems to match his, thumping away in your chest.
“we should.. we should stop,” eddie pulls away, breathlessly panting with your lips still tracing over one another.
“no.. no,” you shake your head, your eyes shiny and full of something he can’t place.
“what?”
“kiss me again,” you demand.
he’s not quite certain he’s hearing you right. fear had forced him to tear himself away but now you were asking for him to do it again?
eddie falters for a second too long, forcing you into kissing him, smashing your lips to his as your fingers scramble to find the back of his neck under his hair.
oh my god oh my god oh my god.
your entire family are in this house and he’s going to desecrate this innocent bed with you, his fake-girlfriend.
he feels your knee slide up his thigh, allowing him more space between your legs. now it’s more than just your chests meshed together, his poor sweatpants tightening with every slight buck of your hips. blood rushing to his cock as you gasp and sigh into his mouth.
he has to pull himself back into the room when your hand slides from his neck to his crotch, lightly tracing over his throbbing cock.
making out could be easily laughed off but this- this was serious.
“you.. you wanna do this?” he asks, gasping for breath as you continue to kiss at the side of his mouth.
“i want to do this,” you reaffirm, dipping your hand into the waistband of his sweatpants, drawing out a hoarse groan from his throat.
your hand wraps around the base of his cock, leaving a trail of kisses to his jaw.
his eyelids flutter, struggling to stay open as you start pumping your fist, thumb circling his leaking tip.
“oh my god,” eddie breathes, jolting his hips into your fist.
this entire week he had been internalising all of these intrusive thoughts and feelings about you and now it felt like he might genuinely cum all over your hand, not even five minutes into this.
it doesn’t at all help when you’re panting and writhing around underneath him, delicate fingers making him feel like he’s flying.
“f-fuck,” he stutters, grabbing your forearm, “you have to stop,” regaining just enough composure to reopen his eyes.
“why?” concern rippling through your voice.
now he falters, gazing into your lust filled eyes, pupils all blown out and crazy. it would be despicable if he were to divulge his embarrassing secret to you.
so he takes your arm, pinning it above your head before starting his descent, a paper chain of kisses and light grazings down your neck and chest.
it’s entirely too intimate for just friends, fake relationship or not.
“oh,” you sigh, head rolling back onto the pillow.
eddie has control now, regaining power without a damn clue of what to do with it. your shorts come down with his free hand with a little help from you, your ankle now comes to rest on his shoulder.
he should feel stronger than he does, rather more intimidated and fearful that he’s going to disappoint.
“please..” you pout, “please touch me,” he wonders if you can sense his anxiety.
he lets go of his grip on your wrist, trailing down your quivering body until he meets your lower stomach. this new position allows him access to your heat, wet and waiting for him.
“shit,” he mutters, sliding a solitary finger between your slick folds, watching as your chest heaves in response. “you’re so pretty,” he can’t help but blurt out.
“shut up and touch me,” you snap, chasing his touch with your hips.
eddie’s not going to deprive you of that now, is he?
circling around your clit, noting the way you groan and grab onto his arm. not that he thinks that there’ll ever be a second time for this.
your eager hands grab at his sweatpants, hoping that that’ll be enough of a hint.
he’s not going to last long, that’s for certain.
fed up with his stalling, you tug his sweatpants down, aiding him in sliding them off and onto the floor with a muffled thump.
your arms fan out across the mattress, glancing down at the minimal space between your bodies and then back into his eyes.
his entire body shudders as he slides into your eager cunt, bumbling through all of the profanity in his vocabulary. watching as your jaw falls slack, wary that you couldn’t make too much noise.
perhaps it was the fact that he’d been brushing off any even slightly sexual thought for an entire week or maybe it was just true but eddie swears that no one had ever felt this good before.
“fuck,” he wails, hips slamming against the backs of your thighs, digging his fingertips into the soft, mailable flesh of your hip.
just the way you grip onto the blanket makes him dizzy, letting his eyesight go hazy, a blurred picture of you sprawled underneath him.
the pleasure is insurmountable, something snapping in his stomach when your hand reaches out for him, gripping onto his forearm.
“eds,” you gasp, just loud enough over his barely contained grunts, “more,” sickening eyes doing all the work for you.
there’s not much more of him left to give, already nudging against your soft spot, repositioning your calf higher on his shoulder to allow him deeper, receiving a sweet whimper in return.
“yeah,” you pant, over and over, fingernails latching onto his skin. his arms start to shake, still holding himself up over you as his orgasm begins to catch up with him.
“shit.. i don’t- i don’t think..” eddie swallows, struggling to stay composed as you tighten around him, looking up at him through batting eyelashes.
it makes his stomach twist, barely able to move as his high comes crashing down, overtaking his senses, sweaty bodies colliding as he collapses on top of you.
“oh shit.. oh my god,” he whines, release painting your thigh, the sheet and even your fucking t-shirt.
he’s not ready for a child but he’s certain that’d have been worth it.
eddie glances at you, subsequently moving from your body onto the mattress. the entire high he had been feeling comes tumbling down, now faced with the reality that you were no longer just friends.
the ceiling becomes incredibly interesting, both of you avoiding eye contact as the silence somehow grows louder.
for a room that was just full of lewd, filthy noises, it sure is quiet now.
the blanket rustles and eddie dares a peek, you stand at the edge of the bed, disheveled and still slightly flustered.
you look down at the stain he had left, tutting quietly, “thanks a lot.. gonna have to change now,” adding a soft chuckle.
“sorry.. cheaper than a baby though,” adding to your banter, it’s indescribable the relief he feels.
eddie watches as you rummage around in your suitcase, no longer shying away as you pull your shirt over your head, shimmying into your clean clothes.
when you rejoin him in bed, the tension is mostly gone, the lamp clicking off, encompassing the room in total and utter darkness.
there’s a further moment of silence wherein eddie isn’t sure if he should bolt and hide or embarrass himself further and say something stupid.
something- someone, brushes against his ribcage as you shuffle, your hand coming to rest on his stomach.
there’s not a word exchanged between you but eddie takes the hint, sliding your hand further over his midriff. it’s a pathetic attempt at cuddling but it makes him flutter all the same.
-
eddie wakes up sprawled face first across the bed, blinking at the bright light, not a trace of you in the room.
he fucked up. he fucked up so bad that you’ve decided to find your own way home and left him here.
shit.
he clambers out of bed, pulling his hastily discarded sweatpants back on, remembering every last detail of your night last night.
the guilt comes in waves, and then embarrassment and shame jump in to make it worse.
years of friendship down the drain and for what?
he just about builds enough courage to leave the room and venture downstairs, creeping out onto the hall when you come bounding up the stairs, meeting him in the cramped corridor.
“hi,” smiling coyly, playing the oblivious game.
“hey,” he nods, reciprocating the smile.
nothing was ruined. you’re fine.
“i was just coming to wake you..breakfast’s ready,” you fiddle with your thumbs, a completely different version of yourself than the one he saw last night.
“oh good,” eddie blinks, “i’m starving,” wanting to smash his palm into his face the second the words come out.
“great!” you exclaim, the painful cringe coming through on your face too.
the two of you walk down the stairs in silence, sitting at the table with a small knowing glance.
this house is huge. he’s sure no one else would’ve heard.
he’s midway through his coffee when your dad leans across the table, probing the two of you, “so, will you be trying for kids anytime soon?”
eddie damn near chokes on the searing hot liquid, coughing his gulp back up into the mug, combatting the burning sensation travelling down his throat and also up into his cheeks.
why would he ask that? over breakfast no less.
“uh no.. nope,” you answer for him, thankfully.
“that’s a shame,” your father stands from the table, sliding his plate into the soapy water before making his way over to eddie, clapping him on the back, “you’re gonna have to make an honest woman outta her first son,” before shuffling off into the living room.
he wants to die. in fact, he’d much rather the ground open up and swallow the two of you alive than to be sat at this breakfast table.
judging by the look on your face, you share the sentiment.
-
he’s going to tell you. he’s going to tell you. he’s going to tell you. he’s going to tell you.
he’s just not sure when or how. it’d be unfair for him to unload his feelings unto you at the beginning of the journey, not to mention also extremely inconvenient if you didn’t feel the same.
but then he’s also acutely aware that if he doesn’t force those words out soon, that they may never come out.
he’s just finished loading your bags into the back of his van, admittedly a little sad to be leaving.
it’s like, he could no longer pretend that what was going on was real. that last night might’ve just been a mistake and you want to cut ties here.
your phone blares from your hand, holding up a finger as you walk away to take the call.
eddie rehearses what he’s going to say to you. well, tries to.
i think you’re super cool, how about i become your boyfriend for real?
he cringes at the thought of it, it wasn’t really the declaration of love that you deserved.
the door opening startles him, your demeanour had done a complete one eighty, your shoulders slumped as you slide into the seat in silence.
“you all good?” eddie asks, wondering what had changed in such a short time.
“uh.. yeah.”
“y’sure?” he probes, not entirely convinced by your change in attitude.
“that was josh,” you swallow, looking straight ahead out of the windscreen, “he wants to see me when i’m back.. to talk.”
“oh,” he replies flatly, “wow okay.”
the life he had dreamed slowly crumbled before him, it was foolish to think that you’d just want to settle down with him now. he’d gotten ahead of himself and now had to reap the consequences.
“yeah..”
eddie doesn’t utter another word, instead, turning the key and starting the long, painful drive home.
maybe he’ll throw himself out of the van on the interstate. punishment for letting himself even slightly believe that you’d be interested in him too.
-
josh is waiting outside of your building when eddie pulls up, smug grin in tow.
tempted to just keep driving, smash into the side of his expensive shiny car and then reverse over his spindly little body.
that doesn’t happen of course.
instead, eddie keeps his head ducked low, muttering a low see you later before you clamber out. there’s so much left unsaid, even a complete idiot could see that.
he doesn’t watch as you walk over to your ex, certainly doesn’t want to see how his hands meet the small of your back and the way you seem to relax into his touch.
not a chance.
it’s eating him alive. even with the windows rolled down entirely, he’s sweating. as if it’s gnawing at his skin, trying to find a way out.
fuckfuckfuck.
tyres screech along the tarmac, his hands shaking as he turns the wheel. something otherworldly and dangerous overtakes his senses as he tears off back down the same road he’d just traveled.
and maybe he’d regret it and maybe it’d ruin your friendship forever but this week couldn’t have been for nothing.
you had to at least know.
eddie’s palms are wet, holding onto the steering wheel with a white-knuckled grip. he doesn’t recall the journey to your apartment being so fucking long but he feels like he’s in this stuffy van for an eternity.
the moment he pulls onto that familiar street, bile rises in his throat.
maybe josh would have sweet talked his way back into your life and he’d get his ass beat. or maybe you’d laugh him out of there, telling him to never contact you again.
he supposes that there’s not much left to lose now.
eddie hops out of his van without so much as a look back, bounding up the short path as the door swings open, nearly knocking him for six.
“eddie,” you remark, phone gripped in your hand. your jaw hangs open, what looks like tears stain your cheeks. “i was trying to call you.”
frankly, he’s still out of breath from the exhilaration of it all, struggling to find his words as he stares gormless at you, “my phone’s dead.. i didn’t- didn’t know.. what’s wrong?” mind immediately jumping to josh.
what had he done?
“nonono.. nothing’s wrong, i just..” you trail off, your gaze not once breaking, “why are you here?”
eddie’s mind goes blank, why was he here?
to tell you that he thinks he’s in love with you? he can’t say that.
“you.. left something- in the van.”
idiot.
total fucking fool.
“oh!” swallowing the shock of his arrival, “what? what is it?”
why are you both dancing around this? he’s sure you feel it too. maybe. that could be the adrenaline speaking.
“nothing.. you didn’t leave anything- i don’t know why i said that.” shaking his head, if he weren’t so nervous, he’d have been crippled with embarrassment. “look, i have to tell you something,” biding his time, hoping your crazed ex won’t pop out of a bush and pummel his head into the ground.
“eddie..” you start, that solemn tone he was dreading to hear.
“no, let me say it,” he tries again, clearing his throat, “i need to s-“
“-eddie,” cutting him off mid-sentence, bounding up to him with your arms extended, throwing them around his neck as you press your lips to his.
it’s almost enough force to knock him on his ass, his hands coming to meet your waist in an attempt to stabilise both of you.
you pull away, lips still pouted slightly, “sorry.. what were you gonna say?”
eddie can’t recall a word of the speech he’d halfheartedly rehearsed. “well shit.. doesn’t matter now,” once again pressing his lips to yours, swaying in the evening breeze as everything seems to fall into place.
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pathologicalreid · 3 months
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stuck between a rock and a hard place | S.R.
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You, an undercover agent, uncover a hidden secret of the country's largest operation, putting your life in danger and under the protection of the BAU.
who? spencer reid x fem!FBI!reader category: angst content warnings: general cm violence, hospitals, medical inaccuracy, drugs, sex crimes/trafficking, attempted sa, reader works in sex crimes. mentions foyet and also 6x24 (supply and demand). established relationship. word count: 7.7k a/n: this has been sitting in my wip folder for far too long. i am now emotionally attached to these two. i will write more of this specific pairing because now all i want is for them to be happy.
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Spencer
It wasn’t every day that men and women in suits piled into the BAU carrying evidence boxes, everyone stood up at their desks. Spencer watched as Andi Swann followed in behind the other agents, not even bothering to greet the team as she went straight to Emily’s office.
Prentiss opened the door, letting Andi in before beckoning for Reid to join them. This had to be about you.
Ignoring the way his heart rate spiked, Spencer stood up from his desk and went up to Emily’s office. On the other side of the bullpen, the rest of the team filed into the roundtable room.
“Spencer, have a seat,” Emily offered, gesturing to one of the chairs in front of her desk.
Glancing at Agent Swann, he crossed his arms in front of his chest, “No, I’ll stand.”
Andi cleared her throat, looking at Spencer, she spoke, “Y/N missed her last two check-ins. As her next of kin, I need to notify you to let you know that as of now, the FBI is considering her missing.”
He wanted to be angry. He wanted so badly to be mad, but he’d seen this before. Years ago, an agent in Andi’s unit missed her check-ins and the BAU helped find her. More than that, he knew how much Andi cared about her agents, so he couldn’t find it in himself to be mad.
“Section Chief Cruz has asked that the BAU help to recover Y/N,” Emily said, looking at Spencer. “You know I have to tell you that you can’t be on this case,” she explained, leaning against her desk, eyes flickering as she tried to read Spencer’s expression.
Taking a deep breath, Spencer looked at Emily, “Y/N’s gone missing, and I’m not allowed to help look for her?”
Sympathetically, Prentiss shook her head, dark hair swaying with the movement. “You know it’s a conflict of interest to be involved with a loved one’s case.”
“Isn’t that kind of what the BAU does?” He could’ve rambled off a list of BAU agents who worked on cases involving their loved ones – including himself and Emily.
Turning to face Agent Swann, Emily suggested she join the rest of the team in the roundtable room. She waited until the door was closed before speaking again, “When’s the last time you saw Y/N?”
Closing his eyes, he remembered the morning of the day you left, the both of you had stayed up late as if you could delay your departure, but the last time he saw you was when he dropped you off at the Sex Crimes Unit before making his way up to the Behavioral Analysis Unit. “We haven’t even spoken since she left,” he answered, almost a month ago now.
“Is there a chance she tried to reach you or her family?” Emily asked. She had to ask, he knew that, but it didn’t make the questions any less ridiculous to him.
Shaking his head, he began to pace around the office, “No, she wouldn’t have done that. She follows the undercover playbook obsessively. She always said freestyling was like signing your death certificate.” He tried. He tried to get you to leave him breadcrumbs, but you never did.
Nodding, Emily watched as he paced back and forth “When did you get married?”
Pressing his lips into a thin white line, he stopped in his tracks, “When I came back after The Believers. It was the next day.” You had offered to sleep on the couch in an attempt to give him space when he asked you to go to the courthouse with him. That was two months ago now.
He didn’t want space. Not from you. Never from you.
Finally, he sat down.
“Did you tell anyone?” Emily asked, sitting down in the chair next to him. “Did you have a witness to sign your marriage certificate?”
Nodding, Spencer reached into the breast pocket of his suit jacket and produced three rings, his wedding ring, your engagement ring, and your wedding band. You didn’t have the time to get them soldered together yet. “Rossi was our witness,” he responded, “He was the only one who answered his phone.” He slipped his ring on and closed his fist around your two rings.
After a moment, Emily stood, “I’m going to speak with the rest of the team, but I won’t tell them anything I don’t think is pertinent to the case.” Which was her way of saying ‘Your secret is safe with me.’ “Stay in here as long as you need, Spence,” she offered before walking out, shutting the door tightly behind her.
He thought of the last night you were together. Spencer tried to check in with you, he told you that if your job ever became too much, you just had to tell him, and he’d be there. What he neglected to tell you was that he was beginning to feel like your job was too much for him.
You had given him the opportunity to hold you close, and instead, he let you slip through his fingers.
Opening his fist, he looked down at your rings and the indent they had left on his palm, slipping them back into his pocket before he walked over to the roundtable room. Everyone paused what they were doing to look up at him.
Spencer just shrugged and looked at Emily, “I can’t just do nothing.”
In response, Emily nodded solemnly and suggested he go through the case files with Matt.
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It had been hours. The sun had set, jackets had been shed, and takeout had been ordered. The clock behind him showed it was nearly midnight, meaning it had been almost two days since anyone had last heard from you.
“Oh god,” Penelope said, her voice cutting into the thick silence of the roundtable room. Her fingers began frantically typing on her laptop.
Spinning in the office chair, Spencer wheeled over so he could look at the screen, vaguely aware of Emily hovering above him, “What is it? What did you find?”
She hit the keyboard so hard he thought they might break, but she answered, “The trauma center at Johns Hopkins reported a Jane Doe brought in a few hours ago. She matches Y/N’s description.”
“Did they run prints?” Andi asked, of course, there would be red tape if the hospital tried to run your prints, seeing as you were undercover.
Another tap and dozens of files opened, “It looks like she went right into surgery. Uh, the EMTs reported she was listing off a string of numbers when they brought her in… 265D019Z?”
Spencer swallowed thickly, “That’s Y/N’s badge number.”
Shaking her head, JJ looked over at the map of DC on the wall, “It’s a two-hour drive to Baltimore from here.”
“But it’s a thirty-minute flight, Reid, Tara, Swann, and Alvez go. The rest of us will look into what happened from here,” Emily doled out responsibilities, nodding at everyone as the team broke.
Spencer stayed still, still looking at Penelope’s screen, his eyes flickering over the documents. Words jumped out at him, drugged, punctured, and knife. It made his stomach churn. How had you gotten to Baltimore? Your unit had you set up in an apartment near the Hill. When did you travel from the district to Baltimore?
The thirty-minute flight felt like it was hours long, the drive from the airstrip to the hospital dragged on, but thankfully Emily had called the hospital ahead of time to let them know who you were and who was coming for you.
A doctor stopped the four of you from going into the room, a police officer was already stationed outside of the room, and the blinds were closed. Please, Spencer wanted to plead, please just let me see her.
“She’s weak, she just came down from recovery and she hasn’t fully woken up yet,” the doctor said, placing her hands on her hips. “I can’t in good faith let you go in there and badger her with questions. Not with no one in there to focus on her well-being,” she ordered. The doctor stared the four of them down with piercing gray eyes.
Taking a deep breath, Spencer peeked through the doorway when a nurse exited your room. “She’s my wife, I’ll advocate for her,” he responded, hoping the doctor would let him through. He could feel Tara and Luke staring, but he didn’t care.
Nodding, the doctor continued sizing Reid up, “Alright, but just you, for now. She’s not awake enough to be questioned anyway.” Stepping to the side, the doctor let Spencer through before blocking the doorway to everyone else.
In the worst way possible, you took his breath away. Your skin was sallow, you had an IV, nasal cannula, and a chest tube out the left side. Walking to your right, he took a seat next to you, taking your hand in his and pressing a gentle kiss to your bloodied knuckles – evidence that you had put up one hell of a fight. “Oh sweetheart, what did they do to you?” He whispered even though he knew you wouldn’t answer.
Reaching over you, he smoothed your hair from your face, your skin was clammy, probably as a result of blood loss. It looked like they were still transfusing, so you had probably lost a considerable amount of blood.
Shuffling the seat closer to you, Spencer took your hand in his. The doctor came back in holding a tablet, “Dr. Reid?”
He hummed in response, not daring to take his eyes off of you. “What happened to her? Why did she need surgery?”
“She had been bleeding out in an alley, according to the police officers who reported to the scene. The other agents are talking to them now,” the doctor said, tapping a few buttons on the tablet. “She had been stabbed several times in the upper left side, we went in to repair damage to her spleen, liver, and lung. There was some strain to her heart, it appears she was drugged before she was stabbed.”
He intently watched the steady rise and fall of your chest before he spoke up again, “Is she going to be okay?”
Setting the tablet down, the doctor paused before answering, “We’ll know more when she wakes up.”
Spencer leaned back in the chair, finally taking his eyes off of you and looking at the doctor, “Was there anything… did they…” He felt ridiculous, having spent the better part of his adult life in the BAU, and he couldn’t even put the words together.
To his relief, the doctor shook her head, “There were no injuries that suggested she was sexually assaulted.”
Reading the doctor’s badge, Spencer nodded. “Thank you, Dr. Herman.”
“Hit the call button when she wakes up, we’ll need to evaluate her pain and other treatment,” the doctor said, gathering her things before walking out of the room, and shutting the door behind her.
Spencer kept his eyes on you, tapping his foot on the ground impatiently, every once in a while, his phone rang, but he didn’t have the energy to talk on the phone. When his phone buzzed, he pulled it out of his pocket and checked the messages.
Penelope Garcia: How is she? Spencer Reid: Still sleeping. Penelope Garcia: How are you? Spencer Reid: Not sure.
Setting his phone on the table, screen down, he watched you again, every once in a while, your nose would twitch, or your eyes would flutter. Every time he would hold his breath, hoping you’d open your eyes.
He waited, and about an hour after he had arrived, a small, keening noise came from you. His head snapped up at the sound, your eyes were still closed, but you were moving. “Y/N?” He whispered hesitantly, not wanting to wake you up if you weren’t ready. Slowly, he stood up from the chair, not sure if he should keep waiting or if he should hit the call button.
You were muttering something, talking to someone in your sleep, when suddenly you jerked away. Instinctively, Spencer put his hands on your shoulders to stop you from tearing your stitches, and it was that touch that caused your eyes to snap open. “No, no, no, no,” you babbled, frantically looking around the hospital room.
“Y/N,” Spencer said, keeping his hands on your shoulders, “You’re safe, I’m here. You’re at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore.”
With wide eyes, you looked up at him and mouthed the word ‘Baltimore.’ As if you were trying to figure out how you had ended up in Baltimore, something the BAU still hadn’t figured out. “I thought I…” Your voice was nothing more than a rasp, but with the bruises he could now see littering your neck, that didn’t surprise him much. “Did you see it?”
Spencer pushed the call button without you noticing, “Did I see what, love?” He asked, keeping his voice low as he gently sat down on the edge of your hospital bed.
You furrowed your eyebrows and looked around the room, “Is Andi here?" Your voice was tight, like you were struggling to breathe. "I need to talk to Andi.”
Helplessly, Spencer watched as the number signifying your heart rate jumped, “Not just yet, alright?” He said, looking up when the doctor and a nurse came through the door.
The doctor introduced herself and started trying to get you to even out your breathing, one of the monitors was beeping like crazy until the nurse hit a button on it.
All he could do was watch, making sure he didn’t get in the way. Listening in to words about medications and making a mental note to research everything. “How’s your pain, Y/N? On a scale from one through ten.” The doctor asked, standing at the foot of the bed.
“Like a seven? When I breathe it’s more like a nine,” you answered, every word was strained. The doctor flashed a light in your eyes, “That isn’t helping,” you said through gritted teeth.
The doctor said something to the nurse, prompting her to nod before pushing something through your IV. After a few moments, Spencer watched as your heart rate lowered and your body visibly relaxed into the mattress. You nodded softly when the nurse asked if that was better.
Dr. Herman left and the nurse scrawled some notes down on your chart, introducing herself as Amelia before she left as well.
“Oh no,” you whispered, looking in the direction of the door. “Is the whole BAU here? How badly did I fuck up?”
Quickly, Spencer shook his head, “You didn’t, at all. It’s just me, Tara, and Luke,” he tried to reassure you as best he could without knowing the full story. “Do you feel up to talking?” He asked, smoothing your hair away from your face.
You nodded gently, “I need to talk to Andi. Alone, if it’s okay with you.”
“I can wait right outside in the hallway,” he offered, holding your hand in his and skimming the pad of his thumb over top of your knuckles.
You hummed contentedly, “Could you see if I can have water?”
Grateful to have something to do, Spencer stood up, leaned forward, and pressed a kiss to your forehead, “I’ll be right back.” He stepped out of the room, garnering the attention of the agents who were waiting in the hallway, all of them staring at Spencer expectantly, “Andi, she wants to talk to you.”
The Unit Chief nodded and disappeared into the room, leaving the door open just a crack.
He was gone for three minutes, that was the time it took him to walk to the nurses’ station and ask if you were allowed liquids and back, but when he returned the door to your room was wide open. “Where did they go?” He asked, looking over at Tara.
She was still leaning against the taupe hospital walls before nodding in the direction of the red exit sign, “Swann was in there for maybe two minutes before she came out in a huff, she took Alvez with her.” Lewis spoke calmly like it didn’t necessarily mean anything to her.
But it did to him. Walking back into your room, he stood at the side of your bed, “What did you tell Andi that you didn’t want me hearing?”
“Huh?” You sounded tired – rightfully so. Your pupils were dilated, which told Spencer that the drugs that the doctors had given you were working.
It comforted him that you weren’t in as much pain, but you were still hiding something from him. “You asked me to leave while you talked to Andi because you didn’t want me to hear what you were telling her. What did you tell her?”
Your face softened as your eyes filled with a different kind of hurt, “Don’t profile me.” You were too tired to hide the pain in your voice.
He raised his eyebrows and shrugged, “Don’t lie to me,” He countered. You were lying by omission, but what was worse was that you might’ve been putting yourself in danger.
“Please don’t leave me,” you whimpered.
Spencer’s chest tightened as he watched your eyes fill with tears, he sat down on the edge of your bed and took your hand in his. “I’m not going anywhere. Why would you think I’d leave you, darling?”
Your eyes were half-closed, “because you…” your voice trailed off and he squeezed your hand to get your attention. “When Scratch had Emily, you wanted to kill him,” you murmured.
The air had been knocked out of his lungs. You hadn’t been talking about a divorce. You were saying that you could identify your assailant, and you didn’t want Spencer to know. “I won’t go,” he whispered, “I’ll be right here.”
“It was Jake,” you mumbled, barely able to open your mouth as you fought your exhaustion.
That hadn’t been the answer he was expecting. He swallowed thickly, “Jake did this to you?” He asked slowly, looking at your hand, your fingers intertwined.
Minutely, you shook your head, “Jake blew my cover, Spence.” Yawning, you proceeded to mumble about him doing it on purpose.
Untangling your fingers, Spencer reached out and smoothed your hair away from your forehead, “Get some sleep, angel. I love you.”
You hummed an ‘I love you’ back, and the next moment your eyes were shut.
A nurse came in and asked for a moment while she checked the output of your chest tube, ushering Spencer and Tara out. “Okay, I’ll bite, who’s Jake?” Tara asked, putting a hand on her hip as she looked expectantly at Reid.
“Jake is her partner. When she’s not undercover and just out in the field, they’re partners,” Spencer explained.
Tara pursed her lips thoughtfully, “So, he would’ve known that she was undercover.”
Nodding as the newly added weight of the situation threatened to pull him down, Spencer turned and faced you, watching as the nurse examined you as you slept. “He blew her cover on purpose,” he reached up and rubbed his eye. Jake knew exactly what he was doing when he blew your cover, and you knew exactly what you were doing when you begged Spencer not to leave you.
“We have to go back in and ask her more questions,” Tara said.
Usually, Spencer agreed with Tara, but not this time. He saw the monitors you were hooked up to, he read your chart, and he watched the concerned looks on the nurses’ faces. They all told him that you weren’t stable enough to be speaking, let alone a cognitive interview. “No,” Spencer said finally.
Clearing her throat lightly, Tara stood next to him in the doorway, “We can’t let them get away, Reid.”
“And I can’t lose her,” he rebutted, ignoring the way his voice broke in his desperation. 
Stepping back slightly, the other agent nodded in understanding. “Okay, I’ll call Emily. You go sit with her.”
She didn’t have to tell him twice; he pulled a chair up impossibly close to your bedside and draped his jacket over the back of it before loosening his tie and sitting down.
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You
When you woke up, it was still dark outside, but the bright lights of the hospital room made it hard for you to get any real rest. You were pleased to find that, true to his word, Spencer was right next to you when he woke up.
He was sleeping, resting his head on his hand with his wrist bent awkwardly. “Spence,” You whispered, clearing your throat, “Spencer.” You couldn’t reach out to touch him, but you wanted to wake him up, so his wrist wasn’t sore.
Jolting awake, he looked at you, “Hey, did you just wake up? How do you feel?”
It was a weird question, you felt like an absolute dumpster fire. “Better,” you whispered, “less hurt, achier. Sore. I don’t know, my head feels fuzzy,” you rambled, trying to move higher up on the hospital bed, but being limited by the chest tube. “How long do I have to have it?” You asked, staring at the plastic tubing as if you could make it go away via the power of suggestion.
“At least through the night, but it could be longer,” he said, reaching over and smoothing over the edges of your blanket. “Do you know what they gave you?” Spencer asked, shaking out his wrist.
You hummed in response, “No, it was intravenous though. They were big on amphetamines, but it didn’t feel like a stimulant. Benzos maybe,” you told him, your voice was soft. The pain in your throat had subsided after being intubated during surgery, but you were still swollen from when Cal grabbed you.
None of this made sense to you. The one thing that bothered you more than anything else was why Cal stopped when Jake said to. It couldn’t have been as simple as the money.
Spencer must’ve noticed you burrowing into your memories, “You remember everything?” He asked gently.
He knew what he was implying, in more cases involving severe trauma, victims generally remember everything or remember nothing. It was lucky for law enforcement when they remembered, but bad for the victims. Bad for you. “Mostly,” you breathed, avoiding his eyes. “I’m so sorry,” you said softly.
“Why? You don’t have anything to be sorry about,” he tried to reassure you, reaching out and taking your hand in his.
You hummed, “I don’t remember anything after they drugged me, just the stuff before. Just the…” Your voice trailed off as you returned to your confusion. “Who’s still here that I can talk to?”
He squeezed your hand comfortingly, “Do you feel up to it?”
“I’m afraid I don’t have much of a choice,” you answered him despondently.
Spencer nodded before he got up from his chair, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead before he stepped out into the hallway and let Tara in.
The agent smiled at you gently, “Hey, Y/N, how are you feeling?” She asked, sitting down at a free chair at the end of your hospital bed, leaving the chair at your side available for Spencer to return to.
You gave your best attempt at returning the smile before you answered, “I think I’m going to make it.”
As Spencer sat back down next to you, placing a water cup on your bedside table, Tara opened a file and looked through it, “Can you start by telling me a little bit about your assignment? You were undercover as… Barbara?” She read from the file.
Nodding slowly, you held out your hand for Spencer to hold, “Yeah, but they called me Babs.”
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Three days ago...
You shifted self-consciously in the gold dress. It was a silky, slippery number that displayed more than you particularly liked. Spencer would probably like it, but he’d hate how uncomfortable you were in it.
Inadvertently, you smiled at just the thought of your husband. It was late, so he was probably at home, reading next to the fireplace. Maybe he was on a case, off somewhere in the United States and saving lives.
It had been twenty-nine days since you had last seen him.
“You look gorgeous tonight, Babs,” Johnathan McCallister, better known as Cal, told you, reaching out and placing a hand on either one of your shoulders before placing a kiss on both cheeks.
Bashfully, you smiled at him, “You’re too good to me, Cal. I can’t believe you got me in!” Deep down, you knew tonight could be the night, you would be able to take down The Program. At least the D.C. chapter of it.
When it was over, you could be Y/N Reid again, instead of Barbara McFarston.
The Program took women around your age and sold them into sex slavery. The chapter in Washington D.C. was one of the most active, which made sense when you looked around the room and saw a majority of the people were elected officials – men and women alike.
Andi Swann had assured you that taking down this chapter would create a domino effect, causing the other chapters to topple. According to her, if you could take down D.C., Miami, and Los Angeles, The Program would most likely cease to exist.
Turning to ask Cal about the selection tonight, you were startled to see familiar gray eyes on your companion’s other side. You felt your façade slip, but only for a second before you pasted a brilliant smile back on your face.
You tilted your head to the side, “And who might you be?” You asked Jake, wondering if Andi had sent him in to get a status report on you.
“Jake Cohn,” he answered, and goosebumps spread over your exposed skin at his answer. He should’ve said William Jacoby, that was his identity for this case.
In horror, you watched as Jake leaned in to whisper something in Cal’s ear, maintaining eye contact with you the whole time. You bit your tongue as Cal wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you in tightly, “Let’s talk.”
You stumbled a little over your own feet and looked at Jake with wide eyes, the leader forcefully shoved you into a private room, one that would probably light up like a Christmas tree under a blacklight. “What’s wrong, Cal?” You asked, standing up straight.
He reached over and grabbed the back of your neck, gathering the hair at the nape of your neck in his fist. The force of it made you scrunch your shoulders up, “You’re a fucking fed?” He seethed, tossing you to the ground in one swift movement.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you tried to convince him. Tried to flip the script so that Jake was the liar instead of you.
Cal grabbed your throat next, holding you down on a booth seat. “Oh, Y/N… Jake’s been one of my best employees for years.” He said, chuckling at the betrayal in your eyes, he only laughed more when you kneed him in the gut. “Oh, I like it when they fight back.”
You shut your eyes tightly as you heard the clinking of his belt buckle, but they snapped back open when you heard the word, “Stop.”
“What? Did you want first go on her?” Cal asked, wiping his cheek – you must’ve scratched him in your struggle.
Jake cleared his throat and met your eyes, “We should keep her clean, you know?” He said, and for a moment you thought he was actually trying to help you, “Think about how much a clean fed would go for here. Especially in D.C.”
And just like that, your hopes were dashed, “he’s right,” you told Cal, trying to formulate a plan.
“Shut up, whore,” Cal spat, causing you to involuntarily flinch.
At least there’s nothing he could call you that you hadn’t heard before, in your line of work, people got very creative.
Cal looked at you, inspecting your neck where he had grabbed you before, “You’ll make me a lot of money, won’t you?” He said, rubbing a hand up and down your arm soothingly before poking you with a needle.
Your legs gave out beneath you, but Jake caught you before you hit the ground. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t think he’d do this. I thought he’d kick you out, but I didn’t think…”
Looking up at him, your throat burned, and you weren’t sure if you were going to cry or throw up, but you shut your eyes. “No, you didn’t.” You don’t just casually tell the leader of a sex trafficking ring that the person with them is an FBI agent.
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Present
“And that’s the last thing you remember?” Tara asked, scribbling something down in your file.
You nodded absentmindedly, “I think…” Your voice trailed off as you looked at Spencer, “I think Jake might’ve been in charge the whole time. Pulling the strings from behind the curtain while he waited for the perfect time to catch me off guard. That’s the only reason Cal would’ve backed off when Jake told him to,” You proposed your theory, not missing the way Spencer was holding your hand a little tighter than before.
Tara’s brows were raised, “Jake Cohn has worked in the bureau for almost a decade, it would be hard for him to evade detection for that long.”
“But he knows exactly how to evade it,” you rebutted. “He’d know all of the tricks from Sex Crimes and all of my tricks. He- He set me up,” you realized.
Spencer turned around and looked at your monitor, “Okay, let’s take a break. We can talk more later.”
Getting up, Tara let Spencer know she was going to call the rest of the team before she stepped back into the hallway.
“My chest hurts,” you said, hating how your voice sounded like a whine.
In response, Spencer smoothed your hair back in an attempt to comfort you. “Your heart is racing,” he whispered, “Take a deep breath, okay?”
You nodded slowly, breathing in deeply through your nostrils and letting the air collect in your lungs before blowing it out your mouth. Looking up at Spencer, worry plain in his eyes no matter how hard he tried to hide it, you came to a decision, “Spence?”
He bowed slightly closer to you so he could hear you better, “What is it, love?” He moved his hand, so it was gently cupping your cheek.
Leaning into his touch, you whispered, “It’s too much.” The only thing you had left was to hope he knew what you were talking about, the words were too hard right now, but you felt them contributing to the burning in your chest.
“Okay,” he answered. “It’s okay. You don’t have to worry about disappointing anyone.”
You practically melted back into the hospital bed; the weight of your job eased off of you. Nodding, you closed your eyes, “It’s good, this is good. I just feel crazy, but a good crazy.”
Spencer smiled at you, “Okay crazy,” he whispered, “I’m going to-“ He was abruptly cut off by his phone ringing, furrowing his brows, he swiped the screen and held the phone up to his ear, “Hey, JJ.”
Cocking your head to the side, you tried to listen to JJ’s side of the conversation, but either she was speaking quietly, or Spencer had his phone volume really low. From the way Spencer’s jaw tightened, you knew that this couldn’t be anything good.
He looked at you before looking at the door, “Do you know where?” He said in a tone entirely unfamiliar to you, it was low and steely. Reaching over you, he nimbly pressed the call button on your bed, “Okay, keep me updated.”
“Spencer, what is going on?” You asked as the nurse came into your room, faltering for a moment as she looked at the two of you.
Placing a hand on the bar of your hospital bed, Spencer looked at the nurse, “Do you have somewhere secure she can be moved to?”
The nurse looked shellshocked, surely the FBI occupying the hospital wasn’t an everyday occurrence, “I don’t… I don’t think so?” She seemed unsure of herself.
“Spencer,” you repeated his name.
He turned to look at you, “Jake’s here and he’s looking for you.” Turning back to the nurse, he pointed at you, “She has to be moved.”
“I don’t… I’m just a student, my preceptor is taking a break. I could try to find-“ The nurse stammered nervously. “We don’t usually just move people.”
Nothing about this situation was usual, but one look at Spencer told you this was life or death. Your life or your death. You sighed in defeat, “This is really going to suck.” Reaching over to your side, you gripped the tube that had been draining blood from outside your lung and pulled it out. Like ripping off a band-aid.
In the process, you tore the stitches holding it in place and set off all kinds of alarms, leading to a crowd of nurses and doctors charging into the room.
As someone held pressure down on where you were bleeding, someone said something about moving you to a sterile procedure room, and the nursing student trailed along, whispering “That was the stupidest smart thing I’ve ever seen anyone do.”
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Everything was blurry when you woke up next and, through the blinds, you could see that the sun was finally rising. The warm, orange light peeking through like lines on a piece of paper.
“Hey,” Spencer said from right next to you, placing a gentle hand on your arm. “It’s okay, you’re okay,” he whispered.
You looked away from him, back towards the blinds, “Will you open them?” You rasped, your throat felt raw, and your body felt heavy.
He got up and ambled over to the window, twisting the mechanism until the sun poured into your room. “How are you feeling?”
“Heavy,” you whispered, the mental weight of the past several days was threatening to take you down, but physically you felt like Atlas himself, carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.
Spencer hummed in response, “They sedated you, standard procedure for people who rip their own chest tubes out.” He adjusted the way your gown rested on your shoulders, “Luckily you didn’t do too much damage.”
You took a deep breath and leaned your head so you could look out the window. The outside felt so foreign to you now, you couldn’t remember the last time you had breathed real, fresh air. “So, what is the damage?” Your voice was little more than a murmur but with just the two of you in your room, it wasn’t hard to hear.
“You’re going to be fine; they think the tube can go later today. Then they’ll evaluate whether enough you’re strong enough to go home, it’ll probably be another couple of days,” He explained to you, matching your gentle tone. “Johnathan McCallister is in custody, and Jake Cohn is dead,” he told you, studying your face for any kind of reaction.
Closing your eyes, you felt white hot tears stream down your cheeks. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, laughing a little despite yourself. He probably thought you were losing it, crying over the death of someone who had nearly had you murdered.
The edge of your mattress dipped down slightly, and you opened your eyes to see Spencer sitting next to you, “You don’t need to be sorry, my love.” Gently, he rested a hand on your hip, skimming his thumb over the rough fabric of your hospital gown, “He was like family to you. I’m not sorry he’s dead – I’m not. I am sorry for that loss, though.”
Nodding, you felt it as your face crumpled, leading Spencer to lean down and hug you as best he could. “I’m sorry I scared you,” you said as he pulled away.
Your furrowed your brows in confusion as he reached into his pocket and produced your wedding ring, taking your left hand, he slid the rings on, “For better or for worse, right?”
A small smile grew on your face as the gem on your finger shimmered in the morning light, “for richer or for poorer,” you continued.
“In sickness and in health,” Spencer whispered, eyes flickering around the hospital room.
You reached up a shaky hand and cupped his cheek with your palm, “to love and to cherish.” You said, feeling a dopey, lovesick grin blooming on your face.
He turned his head and kissed the center of your palm, “until parted by death,” he finished, taking your hand in his.
“No dying,” you insisted, feeling your energy begin to drain, you started to understand why the doctors didn’t want you going home for a few days.
Spencer hummed in response, “You almost did. If you hadn’t been found when you were-“ his voice broke off and you had to tear your eyes away from his for a moment. “I still can’t believe you chose that,” he whispered, looking at you like you hung the moon.
Shrugging as if it was nothing, you melted back into the pillows, “I had a split second to weigh my options – get sold into sex slavery or get stabbed in the chest.”
“A catch-22,” he nodded, wrapping his head around your impossible decision. You couldn’t help but wonder how long it would take until the fear in his eyes left.
You shifted a little in the hospital bed, the sheets rustling as you did, “We get it, you’ve read Joseph Heller.”
He smiled at that, the light teasing seemed to bring brightness to his face, “What is it about blood loss that makes you think you’re funny?”
Laughing lightly, you squeezed his hand as tightly as you could manage, “I am funny. And I’m tired.”
“Go back to sleep then, baby,” he said softly, “it’ll all be here when you wake up.”
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There was a party in your hospital room. It started with just Emily, coming in because you were finally up to seeing anyone other than Spencer, and it ended up being the entire BAU.
Someone had gone to the apartment and gathered clothes for you so that, once your chest tube was removed, you could put on real clothes. So now you were sitting up, wearing sweatpants and a ratty old college sweatshirt, and laughing with the BAU. You were leaning heavily on Spencer, who was also sitting on your hospital bed, but he didn’t seem to have a problem with keeping you steady.
Luckily for you, no one in the BAU wanted to ask about what had happened on your assignment, they were more interested in the rings that adorned your and Spencer’s fingers.
“I still can’t believe you two secretly got married,” Penelope said. “Of all of the times for me to not answer my phone.”
Next to her, Luke shrugged, “Honestly, I can believe it. It feels like a very Y/N and Reid thing to do.”
Gently, Spencer rubbed your back. His hovering was quickly going to become insufferable, but right now you were welcoming every touch with open arms.
“Well, we’ll have a party for the two of you. When you’re up for it, of course,” JJ said, smiling from where she was standing next to Emily.
You wanted to shake your head and tell them that it really wasn’t necessary, but asking the BAU to refrain from throwing a party was like asking a shark to stop swimming. Instead of debating, you just smiled and bobbed your head.
Eventually, Andi showed up, just as you knew she would. “Hey, guys,” Emily nodded in the direction of the doorway, “Why don’t we go raid the hospital cafeteria?”
After a few more hugs, including a lingering one from Garcia, the BAU, save for your husband, filtered out, and Andi made her way to the foot of your bed. “Hey,” you said, your voice was soft.
Nine years. You had spent nine years in the sex crimes unit. Spencer had done the math, you’d spent approximately seventy-six percent of that time undercover, missing birthdays, holidays, not ever really looking forward to the future. Until now.
You, the most decorated member of the sex crimes unit, were leaving.
Suspiciously, you eyed the files in Andi’s arms, one was a case file, the other a plain manila folder. She silently handed you the case file, and you shared a look with Spencer before flipping it open. “The Program is gone?” You asked, your eyes skimming the folder.
Swann nodded, her brown hair swaying with the movement, “The arrest of the leader of the D.C. chapter greatly contributed to that, but it was the death of the ringleader that took the remainder of The Program down.”
Closing your eyes, you nodded as you tried to process what she was telling you. Jake had been in charge all along. “Andi, I-“
“It was your intel that did it,” she cut you off. “From your last several assignments, everything you collected directly contributed to the downfall of this trafficking network. One of the largest networks the FBI has ever seen.”
She handed you the next file, labeled with only your name. You flipped it open, well aware that Spencer was reading from over your shoulder. “I don’t qualify for retirement,” you told her, furrowing your eyebrows, and looking at the papers in front of you. You didn’t qualify for retirement, and yet, you were looking at a retirement offer.
Your unit chief nodded understandingly, “I pulled some strings, with some help. Collectively, Prentiss and I know a lot of people.”
Spencer placed a supportive hand on your back, and you looked up at Andi. “I’m only thirty-two?” You asked, it wasn’t a clarification, it was a question.
“And yet,” she answered, “you’ve done more for the Bureau than most agents could hope to do in their whole career. This plan came from the director, Y/N. He wanted you to have it.”
Shaking your head, you handed the folder over to your husband so he could look through it. “I don’t… can I think about it?”
“He’ll want an answer soon but talk it over and give me a call when you’ve come to a decision,” she said, grabbing her things and making her way to the door. “And Y/N?”
You lifted your head up to meet her eyes, “Yeah, Andi?”
She smiled at you, a rare, real smile from her, “Make the right decision for you. You have a small army ready to support you through everything.”
Slowly, your gaze followed her out the door, waiting until you heard the latch of the door secure. Spencer handed the folder back to you, “What do you want to do?”
You flipped through the folder again, it was a lot of money, and there were a few different distribution options, but it was more than you felt you’d ever need. “I don’t really feel like I deserve this,” you whispered, reaching your hand up and rubbing the back of your neck. “The Bureau doesn’t offer early retirement like this, not without extenuating circumstances,” you continued.
“They did it with Hotch,” Spencer said, reading the file over your shoulder.
Shaking your head, you leaned over to look at him, “That was way different, Haley was murdered by a serial killer.”
Spencer sighed, “I think you’re selling yourself short, darling. The Program was trafficking almost 12,000 people across the country. That’s almost 70 percent of the yearly total trafficking victims. You took them down,” he told you earnestly.
Your shoulders slouched forward, “I didn’t do it alone, though.”
“Didn’t you, though? They sent you in with no communication device, no emergency signal, and information that wasn’t even true. Your unit told you Johnathan McCallister was the leader of the ring, but it ended up being a decorated agent and you’re the one who figured that out,” Spencer spoke emphatically. “You almost died in the process, and now there are thousands of victims who are going to go home – all thanks to you.”
Wiping at your eyes, you looked at your husband, “You’re biased.” That felt true, but Spencer was the person who knew you best in the world.
“What’s holding you back?” He murmured gently, sweeping strands of your hair behind your ears.
Smiling unsurely, you closed your eyes, “Fear of the future. In the past nine years, the longest I’ve ever been home was four weeks. I don’t… What do you want me to do?”
He shook his head slowly, “it’s not my decision.” A diplomatic answer, you should’ve guessed.
“But what do you want me to do?” You pressed.
Sighing, you watched him weigh his options, “If my choices are you going back out into the field and getting hurt again, where maybe it doesn’t have this good of an outcome, or you, safe at home, where I get to see you more than approximately three months a year, then the choice is clear.”
When he laid it out for you like that, it was pretty clear. “Maybe I could finally see what all the BAU spouses are talking about. You know, how you’re never home,” you said. Some part of you always felt disconnected from the other BAU family members, Spencer wasn’t the one who was never home, you were.
Spencer laughed lightly, “We could celebrate your birthday together.” That was the one day you always missed. Almost six years together, and something always came up on your birthday.
“I’ve never had this before,” you whispered, there was still something about it that felt tentative, almost frail.
Smilingly softly, Spencer reached out and took your hand in his, “Had what before?”
You beamed, “A future to plan.” Everything was always laid out for you, every day was spent waiting for the next directive, a new assignment. “I mean, not in nine years.”
There were always dreams, late-night murmurs with Spencer about a house with a yard and kids running around, but they were just dreams. The nights when you were able to sleep next to each other. “Do you have plans for us?”
Nodding rapidly, you answered, “Oh yeah, you and me, I’ve got big plans for us.”
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fallingdownhell · 1 year
Note
Genshin men when you bring them home to meet the parents and they find out that your sister is the favored child of the family and she now has her eyes set on them.
Uhhh, I really like that idea.. It has so much angst potential... but am I gonna do it...?
Characters Included: Heizou; Thoma; Alhaitham
Content: gender neutral reader; reader has a sister; slight cursing; some jealousy themes; nothing else besides that
Word count: 2k words
Have fun reading!<3
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Heizou
He is so fucking nervous!
He is good at hiding it, but you know him by now, you know how he gets and how he acts when he doesn't want others to know his true feelings, so you know and are aware of it
Heizou knows about your strained relationship with your family. Your parents having favoured your sister over you, no matter the circumstances
you did have contact with your family, but it was on a very low, unregular basis. Not that he minded that, though. It was your life, your decision. He's sure you wouldn't do that without having a good reason for it.
You had agreed on a nice, easy dinner at your parents house where they would get the chance to meet your boyfriend for the first time
upon arriving at the house where you spent your childhood, Heizou got more and more nervous. Somewhere along the way, he grabbed one of your hands, holding it tightly in his own.
you tried reassuring him, giving him a small smile as you held his hand, and it did help him a bit
soon, your mother answered the front door, followed by your father and introductions were made
Heizou held your hand throughout the entire thing, not daring to let go of you, but he seemed to relax more and more as the seconds went by
your parents noticed this as well, looking briefly at your joined hands, but chose not to say anything about it
you sat down on the table and a few minutes later, your sister arrived
she was acting entirely over the top with you, throwing herself at you and acting far too friendly. It made you somewhat uncomfortable, but you didn't say anything, not wanting to ruin the good mood that everyone has
for the first few minutes of dinner, everything seemed fine. Conversations were held, your parents asked Heizou some questions, nothing too bad
but then, your mom made some comment about you again, and it all went downhill from there for you
"You know, you're exactly the type of man we always wanted for our daughter. Are you sure you want to settle with (name)?"
then, your mother proceeded on to tell him every little thing about your sister. How she was working a much better job than you with better hours and more pay. How she was more beautiful than you. How she was just in general the better choice between the two of you
Heizou was dumbfounded by this behaviour and he now understood entirely why you had almost no contact with your family. This has been your entire life? Archons, he wanted to rip them a new one, for your own sake..
your mother was still rambling on, your sister just sitting there, smiling at Heizou, thinking that he was considering his options
everyone, including you, was surprised when he suddenly slammed his hands on the table, making all eyes fall on him
"With all due respect, Ma'am. I would rather die than do something so horrible to (Name). They are a wonderful partner, the best I could ever wish for. So, pardon us, but we are going to take our leave now."
with that, he grabbed your hand and you both walked out of the house, ignoring the calls of your family for you to come back and that they didn't mean it like that
secretly though, you were so glad and relieved. When your mother started saying stuff like that again, you just mentally accepted that this was it, yet again.
But Heizou surprised you and stood up for you against your own family. It made you feel so incredibly loved and cared for
that night, he hugged you closer to him than ever before, now reassuring you that you were his number one, that he loved you only and would do everything in this world, just to see you smile again...
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Thoma
He's such a sweet partner, always caring about you and making sure that you're comfortable with him
Thoma likes to be a provider in a relationship. In the sense that he likes to cook for you, help you clean up, doing little things for you around the house. It's his way of saying "I love you"
Thoma will never push you into doing anything you don't want to, or making you open up to him
he's more than happy to take things slowly, earning your trust
and when you finally open up to him about whatever things you want to talk about, he's there for you, listening to everything you have to say without interrupting you
he also knows about the strained relationship with your family. He might not know all the details, but he knows enough to trust you in your decisions regarding the matter
he would never comment on it or make you do anything since it's not his place to judge or intrude on
with that being said, it just so happened that one day, while out shopping for ingredients, he ran into a certain someone
well, more like, a certain someone that ran into him. She profusely apologized for running into him and somehow got him tangled up into conversation
Thoma, being the nice person that he is, tried finding a way out of the conversation without coming across as rude. But, honestly, he just wanted to get home to you as soon as possible
Somehow, the conversation shifted and the topic of partners came up. Thoma said that he was happily taken right now, but she just kept pressing with her questions until your name slipped out his mouth
Thoma could clearly see how her eyes lit up at the mention of your name and he had a feeling that she would just bombard him with thousands more questions
so, he quickly made up an excuse and got out of there, walking home at a fast pace
once he arrived, he told you about the encounter he just had, which made you think. It all sounded strangely familiar to you, even his description of the person rang a bell somewhere in your mind
however, you didn't have much more time to dwell on those thoughts as a knock could be heard from the front door
exchainging glances, you went to answer the door, only to find your sister standing in front of you
eyes wide, you wondered how she found you here, but that question was quickly answered
"Oh, so you ARE his lover! God, now I'm so glad I followed him all the way back here!"
She threw herself in your arms, then quickly abandoned you and went inside your home. You were still so shocked and didn't realize this but when you came back to your senses, you quickly went inside again to the kitchen were you heard her voice from
Thoma was looking at you confused as well, but she just continued talking to him like nothing had happened and they were still out in the city where she ran into him
"...I mean, I'm so glad it was you! You're so handsome, and strong apparently for carrying all those bags back here! Say, why are you with (Name) anyway? Like, they have no redeeming qualities. You should look for more suitable partners, like me! I could give you so much more!"
She smiled at him like her little speech would be all it takes for Thoma to change his mind. The sad part was, you were expecting it to work as well, having dealt with exactly that your entire life, she always got what she wanted
"...Out.", Thoma said. It was the only thing he said, but his tone was so unusal from his normal self. It was cold and demanding, making your sister shiver in her place.
She quickly grabbed her stuff and left your home again, not saying another word
You looked after her for a second, but then in the next you felt two strong arms wrap around you from behind, his face burrying itself in the crock of your neck
for a long time, he remained silent, before he spoke again. "Sorry. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that for so long."
you were perplexed at his words, but quickly hugged him back, silently thanking him for staying by your side
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Alhaitham
To most people, Alhaitham comes off as a cold and calculated person without any emotions
most people will be surprised when they find out that he was indeed in a committed relationship
and they were even more surprised when they find out how sweet, loving and expressive you are
most would think that he would want a partner similar to him, closed off and not all that social. But you are the exact opposite to that
Not that Alhaitham was paying any mind to the opinions of others about him and his love life in the first place
To you, Alhaitham was the most ideal partner you could have hoped for
he was caring, attentive towards you, listened to you even if he didn't give that impression
his attention was always on you, you were in his thoughts when not with him. Just completely head over heels for you
However, he would not know about the strained relationship with your parents. He knew you weren't in much contact with them, and that's all he really needed or wanted to know. He never bothered you about it
But then, one day, you asked him if he wanted to meet your parents. You seemed unsure about the proposal, but in the end, he agreed to it nevertheless
the days before the event, you became a nervous mess. Alhaitham had no idea what was going on, but he tried to be there for you and support you
he did ask if you wanted to talk to him about anything, but you declined and he didn't push you anymore after that
then, the evening finally arrived where you were meeting up with your family at a local restaurant
when you arrived, your partents and sister were already there, waiting on the two of you. your mother spotted you first, waving to grab your attention
you then went over to sit with them
Introductions were a bit awkward at first, but after a few minutes, things seemed to settle down a bit as your parents engaged in conversation with you, trying to catch up on things
However, it quickly became clear to Alhaitham that your sister was always trying to upstage you with absolutely anything. You got a good job? Well, she got an even better one. You got paid so and so much? Well, wouldn't you look at that, her numbers were even higher than yours
at first, you tried to ignore it, but as always, your parents quickly began ignoring you again, instead congratulating your sister on how good she was doing for herself. It dampened your mood quite a bit, but you still wanted to give this a chance
that was, until your sister said something very specific. "Yeah. The only thing missing to top it all of would be an amazing boyfriend now. Say, Alhaitham. Why don't you dump my sibling and get with me instead?" She even winked at him after saying this
Immediately, your parents agreed to her proposal, looking expectantly at Alhaitham
said man only took a quick glance at everyone at the table, before throwing some money on the table, grabbing your hand and standing up, heading for the exit
"I listened to you disrespecting my partner for long enough. And you wonder why they hold no contact with you anymore. Really, I'm glad they got out of your grasp."
With that, you both left the restaurant. None of you spoke a word until you got to Alhaitham's house again, where he immediately pulled you into his arms as soon as you were inside
so for a while, you just stood there in his embrace while he silently reassured you that you had nothing to worry about
you were the only one to him and he would spend his entire life proving this to you if necessary..
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apclyptc · 5 months
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TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN— matt and chris sturniolo x reader
synopsis— you and your friends decide to play a dirty drinking game. but with matt on your left, and chris on your right, how will you ever be able to decide who you want more?
warnings— suggestive themes, drinking, brief suggestive moment with waylon felipe (that man is FIIIIINE) use of a dirty scenario card game, ysb tril and brandon (gwhip) are in this but there’s not really anything suggestive with them (even tho they’re FIIIINE and underrated as fuck), basically the most ooc dumb shit ever, just use your utmost imagination pls lmao
foreword— i got this idea from a card game i own. it’s called kinkies get legless if anyone would like to know. voila!
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
why, on god’s green earth, did you agree to this? you knew exactly what you signed up for when nate had organised a party— nothing big, just all your close friends— and revealed a card game for everyone to play.
“if anyone wants to back out now, this is your only chance.” nate chuckled when nick and madi both stepped back. he’d already explained the card game to everyone:
complete the dare written on the card, or skip the dare and take a shot. straightforward, until he gave an example of said cards.
“choose which person in the group you’re most likely to have a wet dream over.”
you laughed, but deep down you knew this was not going to end well.
after all, you were sat between matt and chris. you were close friends with the triplet brothers, but you would be lying if you said you didn’t harbour a crush for the two you were currently sandwiched in between. you’d already admitted these feelings to madi, who gave you the sound advice to choose one.
but it wasn’t that easy, was it? they were both so… great, and yet so different at the same time.
maybe you could use this opportunity to decide.
as it stood, matt was on your left, chris on your right, and waylon, another good friend of yours, directly opposite you.
nate, being the host and also the orchestrator of this hellish game, pulled a card first, and read out loud.
“give the player of the person on your left a lap dance? hell yeah!” nate exclaimed, standing from his seat and giving trilly the most dramatic lap dance of his life. everyone laughed at this, knowing nate would most likely do all of his dares.
before you knew it, it was coming up to your turn. but first, chris had to pull a card.
you prayed to every god you knew that he didn’t pull a card that involved you.
“oh my god, this game is crazy.” chris laughed, before reading out his card, “act out the doggy style position with the person to your left.”
you could die of embarrassment. this was truly a terrible, no good, awful idea. why did you agree to this?
the room was filled with ooh’s and aah’s, waiting to see if chris would take a shot instead of doing the dare. he glanced over at you, as if to say you could choose.
you shrugged nonchalantly, despite the fact you were screaming inside.
“come on, let’s get this over with.” he motioned you over with his hand, and you hesitantly stood.
you felt chris behind you, his hands moving to your waist as he pushed his hips up to yours, though he didn’t move.
immediately you laughed, and everyone else followed.
“this is literally the dumbest thing you’ve ever suggested, nate.” you shouted through everyone’s laughter.
“agreed.” chris sat back down, but not before placing a pillow over his lap.
“but it’s so funny!” nate replied.
it may have been funny, but that didn’t stop you from thinking about chris’ hips pressed up to your ass. you almost wished he moved.
regardless, it was your turn to pull a card.
“choose three… okay, what the fuck.” you covered your mouth, giggling.
“let me see,” matt leaned over to read the card and pulled a face, “choose three players you’d make a sex tape with.”
how could you even begin to answer that? why did you agree to this?
you weren’t going to skip the card, you didn’t want to be the first to do it. so you’d have to answer. and lie.
“i guess if i had to pick, i’d say tril, waylon aaaaaand… this is hard actually…. brandon.” you spoke.
the three boys dapped each other up, which made you chuckle.
“don’t get too excited, it’s never gonna happen.” you teased.
“i guess it’s my turn,” matt piped up, grabbing a card from the deck.
“oh this one’s easy, it says confess the least sexy thing someone has said to you. one time a girl asked me if she could call me nick while we were, you know…” he clicked his mouth and whistled.
“wait, what the fuck?” nick perked up from the other side of the room.
chris cackled loudly, “shit, i remember that. you told me not to tell him.”
“well, did you let her do it?” tril asked jokingly.
“that’s fucking gross! i swear to god matt you better have said no.” nick yelled, which only made chris laugh more.
“obviously i said no, you moron.”
by now, the deck of cards had gone around the room a couple of times.
waylon pulled the card, let the person opposite you sit on your face which you accepted gracefully after successfully sneaking yourself a couple of shots.
at some point you pulled the choose the players you’d most likely have a threesome with card which you chose matt and chris immediately took a shot.
nate had rank the asses of the players from best to worst, and while chris was number one, you were satisfied with your ranking at third— he placed himself second.
already it was back to chris.
“i actually don’t think i can do this one.” chris covered his eyes.
“what does it say?” you asked. you wished you didn’t.
he turned the card over to you. it read, whisper the dirtiest thing you’d do to the player on your left.
“chris, don’t be a pussy, you already skipped the last one.” nate raised his eyebrows.
“dude, i don’t care how close we are, i’m not passing you an ice cube from my mouth.” chris spoke incredulously, which made everyone chuckle, though you were too busy wondering what chris would even say to you.
“new rule, if you skipped your last card you can’t skip the next one.” nate shouted, to which chris flipped him off.
“you good with this?” chris turned to you.
“sure. it’s just a game right?” you pretended to be unfazed.
chris leaned into your ear, as everyone watched.
“if we were alone right now, i’d fill you up so deep that you’d forget how to talk.”
oh.
“what did he say– oh my god, y/n’s face has gone red!”
oh.
“damn chris, you’re looking kinda red too.”
oh.
“okay move on, please.” chris laughed it off.
but you wanted to do anything but move on, partly because you were sweating— is it hot in here?— and partly because it was your turn again.
let the person to your left give you a love bite.
you weren’t sure you could handle this game anymore. you were barely over the words chris had whispered to you, and now you were supposed to let matt give you a hickey?
and to make things worse, because of the new rule (thanks a lot, nate) you couldn’t skip your turn.
“this game is getting intense, i can’t lie.” waylon mumbled to brandon, who agreed with him excitedly.
“sorry matt, i can’t skip.” you said awkwardly.
matt quickly downed a shot, before replying, “don’t worry about it.” and moved his lips to your collarbone.
he made quick work of sucking on your skin while embarrassment waved over you.
there were a million thoughts running through your head at once but the one that stood out most was how good it felt to have matt leaving a trace of his lips on your body. you were acutely aware of the slight pain mixed with the considerable amount of pleasure that came with his bite.
after what seemed like way too long, he soothed your collarbone with a lick and parted ways with it.
“i didn’t know matt had that dog in him.” tril joked.
briefly, everyone had split into their own conversations, leaving you to your own chaotic thoughts.
but matt placed a hand on your thigh.
“you okay?” he asked you, and of course you were not.
“mhm. just didn’t think this game would be so insane.”
matt smirked ever so slightly.
“me neither. are you having fun, at least?”
“yeah, it’s pretty entertaining. are you?” you responded honestly.
matt’s thumb softly caressed your thigh while the rest of his hand squeezed lightly.
“definitely.”
how could you be expected to choose?
yet another around had gone by and it was regrettably your turn to pick a card.
you slowly picked up the card on top of the deck and read the words.
“what does it say?” matt and chris spoke in unison.
you cleared your throat, looking between the two boys on either side, then at everyone else eagerly waiting.
“go into another room with the player of your choice for ten minutes.” you sighed.
“i was hoping someone would get that card. who are you picking, y/n?” nate asked you.
you should skip this round. you should definitely skip this round. but something was telling you that this was your opportunity to finally choose which brother you wanted, just like madi told you.
the choice was too difficult.
but if you were honest, you knew who you really wanted.
so, you went with your gut.
“i pick…”
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
a/n this feels so ASS but i love this idea so much so idc. the part two’s for matt and chris will be linked below once they’re written. hope u enjoyed!
p.s PLSSSS follow my tiktok yall 🙏🙏 same username apclyptc ill prob take some requests on there
if you choose matt if you choose chris
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© APCYLPTC 2023. do not repost, translate, or duplicate any of my works here or any other websites.
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shaevilux · 10 months
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People knock on Rhoam for being a bad dad cuz he's distant and stern to little Zelda and say how Rauru is the goat (heh) for taking her in like his own daughter. Like Zelda had her real parental connection with Sonia and Rauru. But frankly that's a little reductive.
Rauru literally descended from the heavens, married a priest, started a kingdom. Man didn't really know much strife yet. There's no looming threat of calamity or prophecy yet. Things are peaceful. Things are fine. Things are great. Zelda dropped in during this time, talking about a doom that's going to happen tens of thousands of years in the future.
This sad, lost princess.
Of course any reasonable person would take her in and calm her and tell her she is fine and listen and support her.
Rhoam not being able to be this kind of figure for Zelda is tragic. Just read this poor man's journal entries:
"It has been a year and three months since her mother passed. Perhaps she is held back by heartache too deep to heal. If the Ganon prophecy wasn't looming over our heads, I would tell her to take her time... To wait until she is ready. But our situation is dire and leaves no room for weakness—even on behalf of my beloved daughter. My heart breaks for Zelda, but I must act as a king, not a father. I must order her to train relentlessly at the fountain." Pg 4.
"In truth, I understand Zelda's feelings. Painfully so. She lost her mother, her teacher, before she could learn from her. Ten pointless years of self-training, without so much as a book or note to help her find her way... Those in the castle talk behind her back. And I, her only family, scold her for her shortcomings. No wonder she wishes to hide away in her beloved relic research. I'd love nothing more than to console her... But I must stay strong. She MUST fulfill her duty, just as we all must. Even if she comes to despise me." Pg 6.
"I have been told my Zelda went to the Spring of Wisdom... This will likely be her last chance. If she is unable to awaken her power at Lanayru, all hope is truly lost. If she comes back without success, then I shall speak kindly with her. Scolding is pointless now. I forced 10 years of training on her... and after all that, it seems her power will stubbornly awaken some other way. Perhaps I should encourage her to keep researching her beloved relics. They may just lead her to answers I can't provide. For now, I sit anxiously, more a father than a king in this moment. I sit and await my daughter's return." Pg 7. (He fucking dies and never gives Zelda this bit of closure uuuugggghhhhhhh Zelda I'm so sorry Rhoam I'm so sorry)
It sucks because most people remember the cutscenes (duh it's more immersive and important) and in the cutscenes of the first game Rhoam was mostly shown as being stern and mean to babygirl Zelda, who is closed fists explaining herself to him at the verge of tears. And in contrast everyone in the first royal family of hyrule in the second game treated her with such kindness and we can see how happy she was being there with them.
Rhoam was shackled by duty. By prophecy. By the looming calamity. And from the day he named his daughter 'Zelda' he shackled her as well.
And what does Zelda do with these shackles? She accepts them. She tolerates them. Because she loves her father and her kingdom and knows there's a power dormant in her that can stop the calamity that she must do her best to unlock. She does this dutifully. She does all the training, she does everything that is required.
But it still doesn't unlock. So she tries other ways. She isn't just going after the 'relics' because she's scholarly and nerdy and wants to learn about them. She does it because she's pragmatic. She knows her sacred sealing power isn't present in her. She knows she might not be able to control it or even unlock it in time.
So she tries this alternative approach. The Divine Beasts, the guardians. Ancient tech that was used to prevent the calamity of their time. And she awakened the tech. And her father chose the champions for each divine beast. And they were all prepared. And it's all thanks to Zelda.
And then... Fucking tragedy again. Ganon probably learned his lesson from the last time he was thwarted and immediately went for the tech, corrupting it and turning it against the new users. Against Zelda.
It's never really stated how fast it all turned to shit when the tech betrayed them (or maybe I don't remember) but every account points to it being almost overnight. The champions died. Rhoam died. And suddenly, suddenly Zelda unlocks her sealing magic.
I always always hate the literary trope of using tragedy to unlock a great power that could've actually stopped the tragedy from happening in the first place.
And it's no different in BOTW. I hate that Zelda had to go through all this to unlock her powers.
And then what happens next?
She's stuck in limbo (in an almost mocking parallel to Rauru in the next game with his imprisoning arm) holding Ganon back. For a hundred years.
This young woman had gone through so much only to be trapped with a calamity seeking to destroy Hyrule for a century.
Does she know her father died in the war? Does she know the champions died in battle? Would she know Link would survive in the Shrine of Resurrection? Would she know how long it would all take? The century she would have to wait?
I think she didn't. I think it all happened too fast. I think ultimately, she decided a stalemate with ganon was an agreeable outcome. I think in her mind she probably thought she failed Hyrule. When the divine beasts turned she must have been distraught. Distraught might not even cover it tbh. But at least... At least when the kingdom was brought to it's knees by the corrupted tech and was waiting for the final blow, she had the ability to ensure the final blow never came.
And oh boy I have a looot more to talk about regarding Tears of the Kingdom. But I do want to have a couple of more playthroughs of it to really formulate what I want to say.
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thelovelyruin · 7 months
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𝖆𝖈𝖖𝖚𝖆𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉.
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𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘 : choso x fem reader
𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖓 : choso just couldn’t wait for you and him to be acquainted.
𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓 : college au, smut, porn with plot, vaginal sex, praise, teasing, fingering, edging?
𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖙 : 5.3K
𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗 : inspired by lyrics from acquainted by the weeknd.
𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖒𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖘 : hello lovelies, thank you so much for reading! probably my favorite yet. i hope you enjoy it; if so, follow me for more. au revoir!
18+ MDNI ADULT CONTENT
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Baby, you're no good 'cause they warned me ��bout your type.
“Yeah, no.”
“What do you mean no?”
“I mean, NO. She’s bad news, dude.”
“How do you know?”
“Well, I don’t. She just gives off the vibe that she’d break your heart or somethin'.”
“How’s that?”
“Well, she’s out of your league, first of all. You’re kinda awkward, and I can’t tell if you’re celibate or just can’t get laid. That and she’s pretty friendly with everyone.”
“Shouldn’t she be friendly?”
“Yeah, a little too friendly. A jealous motherfucker like you wouldn’t stand a chance.”
“She wouldn’t be that way if she was in a relationship, right?”
Yuuji raised his eyebrow and threw his arms up.
“The world may never know. That is unless…you wanna know?”
Choso rolled his eyes, following Yuuji to class.
Baby, you're no good; I think I fell for you.
Little did Yuuji know Choso was already in love with you. As much as he’d try not to, he couldn’t help but see you walking around campus. 
Pretty face adorned with sparkly lipgloss, your hair always down, giving a slight view of your hoop earrings. You usually wore a little locket necklace, never telling anyone what was inside, sitting atop a pink shirt that your tits always looked great in. Then a miniskirt that, depending on the breeze that day, gave a sneak peek of your ass. Then, the heels you wear, except for the winter when you wore a cute pair of boots with leggings, he could practically see through them. It was tough when he was in class with you; you raised your hand to answer a question, a French manicure, and the clinking of your bangles that were practically ASMR for him. Then, there were your books that, when some random guy wasn’t offering to hold them, pressed against your chest, making your breasts lift as you walked. Sometimes, you’d wear a perfume that smelled like cake; other days, vanilla, pretty hard to miss as you walked by. Then there was your skin, always glowing like you drank from the fountain of youth or something, legs smooth as you crossed them over one another or stood before the seminar to answer a question on the board. Sometimes, you had a pair of stockings or thigh highs that covered them, ending a little lower than where your skirt ended; god forbid you bent over, which you were careful never to do, usually asking someone to pick something up for you. You never touched a door either; sure, it was because every guy wanted to fuck you, running around like your puppies ready for a task; sometimes you gave them one, they’d run back to you with a lollipop or something like that, which you parted your lips so sexily to take in and suck. 
It's not like he was paying attention or anything.
You got me puttin' time in.
Now, Choso wasn’t terrible at talking to girls, sometimes getting approached but a little too awkward to continue the conversation. Then again, he had the hots for you, so it was hard to look at anyone else. He’d got it in his mind that he’d talk to you one of these days. Maybe he’d ask you out on a date, but he wouldn’t know how he’d react if you rejected him; in light of that, he never said anything to you, just an awkward look if you guys ever made eye contact, which you always gave him a confident one, followed by a wave. But all that was thrown out the window right now. He was too shocked that you were standing in front of him to hear what you’d said; your face had one of those optimistic looks, hands sitting on his desk in the library as your arms squished your tits together, leaning over a bit to look at him.
“Hello, earth to Choso, you there?”
“Sorry, could you repeat that?”
Your skirt sat particularly short on your hips today, your belly button ring gleaming with a little heart at the end, but his eyes drifted to your waistline, a little bit of a pink fabric peeking ever so slightly out the top of your denim-
“I said, “Hey, Choso! What’s up?””
“Oh, sorry. Not much, how about you?”
“Oh, nothin’; saw you were sittin’ alone and wanted to come say hi; that okay?”
It was more than okay. He had to shift in his seat, boner becoming irritably hard against his thigh.
“Yeah, that’s fine. Uh, wanna take a seat?”
“Sure! So, whatcha workin' on?”
“Oh, I’m just studying for the statistics exam.”
“That class is super hard! I feel like I’m not getting any of it.”
He took that as his one-way ticket to testing the waters with you.
“I could, um, tutor you if you want.”
“Really? You’d do that for me?”
You perked up, hand touching his arms, tits calling out as you shifted towards him in the seat. He couldn’t take his eyes off them, but he knew he had to focus if this was gonna work at all.
“Yeah, it’s no problem.”
“Perfect, when are you free?
He was free anytime for you.
“Uh, I’m free after classes; what about you?”
“Hmm, well, I have a sorority meeting at six tomorrow, so that probably won’t work, but then, ooo, I have cheer practice on Thursday, ugh, and I can’t forget Nobara’s party on Friday!”
“So, Wednesday?”
“Perfect! We’d just have to do it after my nail appointment at 3.”
He looked at your nails; nothing looked bad about them, so he was confused. He hadn’t realized how busy you were, which explained why you didn’t have a boyfriend. But that only made him feel worse.
“I think your nails are nice like that?”
You were blushing now, bringing a hand out in front of you two.
“Ya think so? I was thinking of changing the color; I've changed my mind since last week.”
Your phone got a ring; he noticed it was Mai, a girl he’d often see you walking around with. Happily, you answered it.
“Hey babe, what's up?”
He couldn't hear what Mai was saying to you on the phone, but fuck, he wished you'd answer the phone like that for him. That's when it struck him that he hadn't even-
“Sorry about that! She had to tell me about this crazy thing one of our sisters did.”
“Sisters?”
“Yeah, like in our sorority, silly! Anyways, gotta blast, but I enjoyed our chat!”
You pulled a pen out of your purse along with a piece of gum; after unwrapping it and putting it in your mouth, you grabbed Choso’s hand, writing down your phone number.
“There ya go, put it in fast so it doesn’t wash off, 'kay? Bye, cutie!”
With that, you walked away. See, this is where Choso was fucked; he had to think about when he should text you, now, later today, or Wednesday? That and his boner. He hurried up and shuffled to his and Yuuji’s dorm room, using his backpack to cover his crotch.
Nobody got me feeling this way.
“YOU GOT HER NUMBER?”
“Yes, but it’s because I’m tutoring her.”
“So, you and her, alone. “Studying”.”
“Yes, Yuuji, now fuck off!”
When Choso told Yuuji about the exchange earlier, he was convinced you were on something.
“So, she just randomly walked up to you? Isn’t that weird?”
“Is it that foreign for someone to want to talk to me?”
Yuuji looked him up and down, giving him that look. Choso scoffed and continued typing up his essay. He couldn’t stop thinking about you, if he was being honest. He tried his best to put off texting you, but that lasted all but 4 hours.
“Hey. It’s Choso.”
He sighed as he threw his head back. He was feeling a bit stupid, to be honest. For all he knew, you had been dared to talk to him, or it was a little game you came up with. Still, he knew it wasn’t in your character to do something like that, but his self-loathing told him otherwise. All of a sudden, though, his screen lit up.
“haiiii <3 wednesday still good? :3”
“Yeah, what time?”
“let’s do 5, 'kay?”
“Sounds good.”
“yay! see you then :p.”
When Wednesday came around, Choso was nervous all day. Yuuji teased him for it, saying there was nothing to worry about; you guys were only “studying.” Choso had seen you in class with the usual demeanor and look, but instead, today, you gave him a wink as you walked by, which went straight to his dick. It had been 4:55, and he was pacing his room, trying to mentally and physically prepare to be alone with you for the next hour or so. But then five came, then 5:05, then-
A knock at the door, which he was praying, wasn't Yuuji coming back to the room; he told Choso earlier he was gonna spend the night out ‘In case something happened.’ Much to Choso’s bliss, it was you, panting a bit. 
“I'm so sorry! I spilled my smoothie on my other top, so I had to change, then I ran over as fast as I could! You’re not too mad at me, are you?”
Choso had realized you had a different shirt on when he opened the door. This one was a lower cut, your cleavage on full display, the bottom short cropped. Damn, you looked good.
“You’re fine; come in.”
“Ooo, thanks!”
You walked into the room, and he waited for you to say something; his room was pretty much clean, except for a pair of socks Yuuji left on the floor. Instead, you smile at him, then bend over to set your purse and books- fuck, you bent over. Choso looked at every single item in the room, anything to not stare at your ass in his peripheral vision. Quickly, you got up and turned around, Choso flustered as ever.
“Somethin’ wrong?”
“Uh, no…let’s get started.”
An hour passed, and Choso was shocked at his level of resolve. He tried his best to help you and pay attention to the papers in front of you, but fuck, your tits looked great from this angle.
“All done! I think this is the best I’ve ever done! Thank you so so much!”
You wrapped your arms around him, bringing him into a hug that made his breath rapid. You pulled back from him now, still hugging him, as you looked up at him with those doe eyes of yours. Choso was much taller than you, so he was getting quite the view, but that came with him looking the most flustered he’s ever been. You let go with a giggle, walking over to sit on his bed. He watched you sit back on your hands, legs slightly open as your chest poked out. God, you looked cute, even better that you were sitting on HIS bed.
“Hey, Choso?”
“Yeah?”
“I need your help with something.”
“What’s up?”
You got me touchin' on your body…
He walked over to you with a confused look on his face. What could you possibly want? You guys had already studied, which is what you both agreed to; maybe another class-
You opened your thighs to him, panty-clad pussy on full display.
He was about to fucking die. He couldn’t help but pinch himself; he had to be dreaming. It was already surprising to him that you were in his room, but you practically asking him to touch your pussy was an enigma. You pulled him forward by his shirt, his face up to yours.
“That is, if you wanna.”
Choso started melting, but he wouldn’t let this opportunity pass him by. With urgency, he dropped to his knees, positioning himself on the floor between your legs, both draped over his shoulders as he pulled you closer to him. God, he could smell you; it was making him hungry. Then there was your thong soaked from your wetness, leading him to wonder how long you wanted this. The print of your lips against the fabric was about to send him over. He brought his hands up your legs, the feeling of your plush thighs making him ache, all the way up to your hips, where he flipped your skirt up. He wasted no time grabbing the edge of your panties, backing up to pull them down your legs. You opened up a little more for him, soaked pussy on full display. He was dreaming, he was dreaming, he was dreaming. He experimentally brought his fingers up to spread your lips apart, precum dripping out of you. He almost passed out, but that was the last thing he needed to start his mission.
Choso brought his lips down to your pussy, lapping up all of your juices, then fucking his tongue into you. You were moaning, body arching as you found your fingers in his hair. Fuck you tasted good. He brought his tongue to your clit, circling the bud slowly, making the most out of this situation and simultaneously making you whimper.
“Choso….”
You sounded so fucking good. Every moan of his name went straight to his dick, which was looking to rub against anything to get some relief. He brought his fingers up and slipped them inside you, making you groan loudly. He explored your walls carefully, but it wasn’t until he curled his fingers that he really got a rise out of you.
“Fuck, right there, don’t stop!”
He was a damn good listener. He pumped his fingers in and out of you as your body jerked, begging to cum. He was in disbelief; he was the one making you feel like this. Moan like this. Cum like this. It came hard, fingers gripping his hair in a way that brought him out of his hazy state. And fuck, as you came down, you rutted your pussy against his tongue, mouth still opened and eyes rolled back. Choso was in fucking heaven. You were panting on his bed, half-naked, back still arched; you were a sight to see. You began to come back to earth, sitting up on your hands again, pussy most likely staining the sheets, but it’s not like he fuckin' cared.
“Come here.”
Your usual bubbly demeanor left the second you came, grabbing Choso by his shirt and bringing him down to kiss you. You opened your legs so he could position himself between them, kissing him intensely now. Instinctively, he brought his hand up to your tits, groping them through the fabric of your shirt, pinching your nipple once he found it. He ruts his hips against yours, making you groan into his mouth. Fuck, you were so hot, all of his senses were filled with you, he was gonna lose his-
I know I'd rather be complacent.
He fucking came on himself. Simultaneously, your phone began to ring, the same tone as the other day when Mai called you. With a pout, you walked over to his desk to grab your phone. God, he praised himself for wearing back sweats that day. Luckily for him, it didn’t seem you noticed, picking up the phone and smiling. Just like that, you were back to your usual self.
“Hey, hey!”
Mai said something to you as Choso went to his drawer, already looking for a set of underwear and pants to replace the ones he accidentally soaked. You were pouting now, tilting your head to the side as you talked to her.
“But Maiiii, I’m doing something super important!”
You looked at him from head to toe, smirking as you continued talking. Fuck, what were you guys talking about?
“Ugh, fine, but you owe me! See you in a bit.”
You hung up the phone and walked over to him, a sad look on your face as you wrapped your arms around him and nuzzled your head into his chest.
“You gotta go?”
“Yeah, but I really don’t want to!”
“It’s fine. You should be ready for the test on Thursday.”
You bent over to pick up your purse and books again; this time, he really couldn’t look because he knew his dick would probably betray him. You put your heels back on, getting on your tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.
“Bye, cutie!”
“Um, bye.”
Choso took a shower as soon as you left, in which he had to relieve himself from the events of today. It’s like he couldn’t get your taste you out of his head; every time he tried to focus on his essay, you were there. It didn’t help when he found your thong on the floor beside his bed. Shit, he hadn’t even thought to put them back on you. Quickly, he texted you, letting you know you forgot them.
“oopsie :3 consider them a gift ;)”
Fuck, you were dangerous.
Girl, I'm so glad we're acquainted.
Baby, you're no good.
“YOU DID WHAT?”
“Shut the fuck up, you're gonna wake the whole hall!”
“Let me get this straight, you fucked her?”
“No, yes, well, not exactly. I, you know…”
“Awe shit, she sucked your-”
“NO, YUUJI, JESUS.”
“So, what did you- Holy shit, you gave her head!”
Choso became flustered, never really having a conversation with Yuuji about his sex life, but Yuuji was more than open about his.
“Yes, I gave her head.”
“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!”
“Shut. The. Fuck. Up! You’re too damn loud!”
“Sorry, sorry. It’s not like I didn’t believe in you or anything, but a girl like that? I probably would’ve cum on myself.”
Now, Choso knew you were busy, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to see you again. He’d remembered everything you said you had to do, so he figured he’d talk to you again at Nobara’s party. He was initially going because Nobara was a mutual friend through Yuuji, but now, he had a way better reason. You guys had seen each other around the halls Thursday, you giving him a wink every time you saw him, and he’d return it with a blush and grin. He hadn’t texted you either, trying to be considerate of your time, but as Friday afternoon came along, you appeared to be distant with him. He was nervous at this point. What if he was over-analyzing things? Just a quick fuck to get each other’s rocks off? Then, unfortunately, the thought came to mind that maybe you had realized he came on himself, which hurt his feelings pretty bad. I mean, he couldn’t help it; spontaneous oral on the girl he’d liked for months now, he was already in bad shape to begin with. But, fuck, he missed you.
All my homies think I'm crazy 'cause I'm thinkin' 'bout us lately.
Nobara’s party could be heard down the street, some AirBnb, all your sisters put in on. Choso couldn’t lie; it was pretty nice, a large house with at least eight bedrooms, a pool and basketball court in the back, and balconies on almost every window. He and Yuuji had shuffled their way into the house, Yuuji immediately looking for something to drink that was far from water. Once he found a bottle of tequila, he poured him and Choso a couple of shots, both throwing them back like it was nothing. Yuuji seemed to know everyone at this party, sparking conversation with damn near anyone that walked by. He and Choso found their way to the backyard, sitting in the little patio section next to the pool.
“So, did you text her yet?”
“No, I’m pretty sure she’s upset with me about something.”
“Cause she’s been giving you the silent treatment?”
“Something like that.”
“Well, she’s obviously not giving it to him.”
But really, if I could, I'd forget about you.
Yuuji pointed to you on the other side of the pool, talking to some guy. You held a cup, presumably with alcohol, but what you were wearing was the kicker. You hadn’t bothered to wear a top, just your string bikini covering your tits, which wasn’t doing a very good job of covering them up. Then there were your shorts; they were basically underwear with how high they came up, the underside of your ass on display. You were leaning into the guy, obviously in deep conversation. The guy, however, was getting an eyeful; he couldn’t even make eye contact with you because he was staring so intently at your chest. 
You got me puttin' time in.
Choso couldn’t lie, it pissed him off real bad. He couldn’t tell if it was because you were talking to this guy and not him or because the guy was looking at you so inappropriately; it wasn’t like he was one to talk. But his jaw locked as he saw the guy slip a hand onto your waist as you stumbled a bit, and you didn’t stop him.
“She’s free to do what she wants.”
“Yeah, she’s doin’ what she wants, alright. Your face was in her pussy on Wednesday, and she’s probably gonna do the same to him tonight.”
Nobody got me feeling this way.
Yuuji’s comment had put a fire under Choso’s ass. Immediately, he got up from where he and Yuuji sat, heading straight towards you.
“Told you, you were jealous, bitch!”
Now, Choso wasn’t the confrontational type, but three shots in, he felt a little bit of that liquid courage. He’d closed the gap between the patio and the pool quickly, focused on getting to you; as he walked up, he could hear you giggling at whatever that fucker was saying. You turned your head in surprise, an awkward smile on your face as Choso grabbed your arm.
“Gonna borrow her right quick.”
Choso could hear the guy cursing him out in confusion as he walked away with you, but if anyone was confused, it was you.
You got me touchin' on your body….
Choso led you up the stairs as you rushed to keep up, spilling your drink a bit. He found an empty bedroom, walked you into it, and locked it behind him.
“Choso, what the actual fuck?”
“What are you doing, huh?”
“What am I doing? What am I doing? Motherfucker, what are you doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you haven’t talked to me in days. Then you pull me in here, like I’m the bad guy or something, fuck, did eating me out mean anything to you?”
“Of course it did! I haven’t texted you because I wanted to give you space!”
“I could’ve made time for you! I don’t wanna hear your shitty excuses as to-”
To say that we're in love is dangerous…
Your sentence was cut short by Choso pulling you into a kiss. You were fucking mad at him, sure, but you wanted to fuck him more than anything. That’s why you let him lay you on the bed behind you, mouth coming to kiss you, even deeper this time. He pulled back to undo your top, allowing your tits free.
“So, who the fuck was that?”
He brought his lips down to your nipple, sucking it as you moaned softly.
“A friend, what are you, jealous?”
He sucked the other one, massaging your tits as you watched him intently.
“Depends.”
“On?”
But, girl, I'm so glad we're acquainted.
Choso began to move his way down, sucking the skin of your stomach as he brought his hands down to hook into your shorts. He had them down to your ankles, pulling them off of you.
“I’m your friend too, no?”
“Something like that.”
He undid the strings on your bikini, throwing them somewhere in the room. He brought his face down to you, kissing your inner thighs to tease you.
“You let all your friends eat your pussy?”
Ever since I met you, I couldn't believe what you did.
You couldn’t answer his question, body reacting to the kitten licks he was giving your clit. Choso was a bit more familiar with you now; he knew you liked it when he fucked you with his tongue and that you moan a little harder when he pressed his tongue harder on our bud. But, god, you were intoxicating. He missed the taste of your pre-cum on his lips, shamelessly saturating his whole face with your juices. That is until he pulled his face back, teasing you.
“Answer me, princess.”
“No, I don't.”
That made him hungry, greedy even. His face was back on you, fucking his tongue into you as he pinned your hips down, watching you squirm from the pleasure. The pleasure he was giving you.
Choso picked up the pace of his tongue, his fingers finding their way to your pussy, curling them as he sucked on your clit. One hand still on your hips to keep you still; it was all in vain because when you came, your body came undone. You buck your hips into his touch, moaning his name as you let him suck you through your high. You were fucking beautiful. He pulled up to look at you, smirking as he saw your tits rise and fall from all the panting you were doing. He figured it wasn’t too bad to give you another orgasm; you looked so fucking hot coming down that he couldn’t resist drinking your cum as he brought his thumb to your clit. You were on fucking fire, still recovering from before, and now he was bringing you up to his face. He pinned you down, devouring you instantly.
Now, Choso felt a little adventurous, bringing his hands up to rub your nipples between his fingers while you fucked his face. You didn’t know where all this nerve came from, presumably because he’s made you cum twice now, the third one about to join. But you honestly didn’t give a fuck. If he had the balls to eat you as good as he was doing, you could care less. Because his tongue was just too damn distracting. You began to grind your pussy on his face, not even considering his ability to breathe; it’s not like he was concerned about it. You were moaning his name like a symphony, pulling them out of you more frequently as you felt your body giving in again.
“Choso, I’m, I, fuck!”
So comfort me…
Choso smirked into your pussy as you came, falling over onto the bed immediately. He was kissing you now, soft and sweet, like he didn’t intend to fuck the shit out of you. With a careful hand, he brought your leg up, pulling it away from the other so he could get in between them. He enjoyed the view of you, spent and gasping for air, bucking your hips slowly as you waited for him to fuck you. As he began removing his clothes, he continued this little conversation.
“Hm, that doesn’t make sense then, does it?”
“You’re more than a friend, Choso.”
At this point, he’d taken everything but his boxers off, dick almost stabbing out the front of his briefs. He took them off quickly, bringing his body back up to sit on top of yours. He kissed you as he fingered your pussy again, making you squirm under his touch. Messily, he brought your cum out of your pussy, rubbing it over his shaft as he looked down at you.
“More than a friend, huh?”
Choso kissed your neck as he slid his dick in, holding your hips as he rolled his into yours. He was painfully slow, pulling out to sink back in. Fuck, it was torture.
“Yes, Choso! Now fuck me, please!”
“No problem.”
He slammed his hips into yours, making you groan. He gripped you tightly as he fucked you, forehead meeting yours so he could see your pretty face as you took him so well.
 “When was the last time you got fucked?”
“Months ago.”
“So, you decided you just wanted me to eat your pussy one day?”
He began that slow pace again, scratching his back as he reached the deepest parts of you.
“No, I liked you for a while! Thought you didn’t like me ‘til I met you in the library!”
He couldn’t fucking believe it. This entire time you’d been waiting for him to make a move, and he was too fucking pussy to do it. Well, he’ll make it up to you now by fucking your pussy. He hit that sweet spot inside you as you moved your hips to meet his, hands brushing through his hair as he gave it to you right where you needed him. And god, you were sexy. You pressed your tits against his chest as he fucked you into the bed, practically screaming his name every time he’d give you a hard thrust to get a rise out of you.
“I want you, princess.”
To be fair, you hadn’t really entertained any of the guys who wanted you; they’d just ogle you, but you wanted someone who’d claim you. Make you his. And Choso was doing it. He fucked you like no one had ever done before, sucking hickeys all over you that you were sure you didn’t have enough concealer to cover up. Then, there was the way he’d moan into your ear. Sometimes your name, but mostly baby, princess, beautiful. He was taking you higher and higher, and you didn’t wanna come down.
“Then, I’m yours.”
Ain't no rush from me.
That was enough for Choso. He fucked you faster, keeping your hips still so he could fuck you how you needed it. Your body was practically begging to cum again, all but throwing yourself at him. He prayed you’d cum soon because he’d be down for the count here shortly, panting into the side of your neck as he took you. And take you, he did, gripping his shoulders as you moaned his name into the room, eyes rolling back and mouth wide open as you came for the third time that night. You honestly didn’t know you had it in you, nor did Choso, because he was right behind you, gripping the headboard as he fucked you through his orgasm, whimpering your name as he fell to pieces inside you. Your pussy was like fucking heaven, taking his cum so well as your hands fell to your side, too fucked out to move.
I’ll keep on touchin' on your body. To say that we're in love is dangerous…
Choso fell beside you, exhausted as ever. He was grateful he’d taken precautionary measures and relieved himself before he came to the party cause he surely would’ve cum the second he felt your pussy. He looked over at you; he could tell you were pretty damn tired; who wouldn’t be after he made you cum so many times. So, he helped you put your clothes back on, carrying you down the stairs and out to his car. He shot Yuuji a text to let him know he was leaving, choosing to leave out the details of what he had been doing for the past hour and a half. After getting you in the car, he got in the driver’s seat and started it.
“Ima take ya home, okay?”
You perked up a little, grabbing his arm and wrapping around it.
“Wanna go home with you!”
“Whatever ya want, princess.”
Choso gripped your thigh as he drove off, returning to his dorm. He carried you to his room, removing your clothes and helping you get into one of his t-shirts. Both of you in the bed, he pulled you into his chest, letting you get comfortable. You look up at him, smiling a bit as you yawn.
“Night, baby!”
You kissed him quickly and laid back down, drifting off to sleep.
‘Baby’, huh? He could get used to that.
But, girl, I'm so glad we're acquainted.
♱ the song used in this story is acquainted by the weeknd. 🖤
♱ masterlist.
♱ all fics playlist.
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𝖆𝖚 𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖔𝖎𝖗, 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖑𝖞𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖓.
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temporaryrose200 · 9 months
Text
✩My Soon-to-be husband✩
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✟pairing: Claude X Fem Reader
✟genre: Yandere
✟warning: Yandere, mention of murder, keeping someone under their own will.
✟scenario
✟fandom: Who Made Me A Princess
✟summary: Weeks of searching for a way back to you world was becoming was becoming slimmer and slimmer. A week before your wedding day, Claude calls for you.
✟a/n: This is another part to this headcanon I made a while back. If you haven’t read part one, you should!:)
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Narrow eyes scanned the bookshelves of the palace library, desperately trying to find a book. A book of magic to be precise. Having only been staying at the palace for a month now, you had been desperately trying to find some way back to your world. In only a week, you would married to that demon man, Claude. As soon as you arrived to the palace that day, Claude had wanted the wedding to take place the next day, obviously scared about this information, you begged the emperor to wait a month or so to at least let you settle. After a bit of persuading, he finally agreed, unknowingly giving you time to find a way out of this nightmare. But as days passed, escaping began to feel hopeless.
Picking up one of the many books on the shelf, you quickly skimmed through, eyes searching for certain words. Like many other times though, nothing came up and with a frustrated sigh, you closed the book and stuffed it back onto the shelf. Having been in this library every chance you got, you had nearly been through every single spell book the palace had to offer and nothing came up!
Hearing the sound of the door opening, heavy footsteps followed suit, you had a slight inkling feeling who it was. “What is it now Felix?” You questioned, eyes continuing to scan the dark oak shelf. The tall crimson red-haired guard was either here for two reasons. Reason one: To check up on you and see if you haven’t escaped or planning an escape, and then reason two: To call for you…
A shudder went down your spine at the thought of seeing that cold-hearted emperor, praying to the gods for it to be the first option. “I apologise for disturbing you Miss [name], but his highness has summoned you” Felix spoke softly. Glaring down at your clenched fist, you didn’t have a choice in the matter. Claude didn’t care if he had to order someone to drag you to him, as long as you’re brought to him without a single scratch on your body. And he will check. So not wanting to put another poor guard through what happened the last time you refused, you obligated. Carefully stepping down the ladder steps, Felix under you making sure you don’t accidentally fall. Reaching the final step, the redheaded guard with a firm grip on your wrist, guided you down. Feet now on the ground, you and the Royal guard made your way out of the comfort of the library to the vicious lion’s den.
Following slowly behind with Felix leading the way, you could feel the eyes of passing servants go by, pity filled in their eyes. You tried to ignore them, but soon it became impossible when they began mumbling to one another. Muttering softly about the “disappearance” of your maid. But you know, everyone knows that she didn’t disappear! It was Claude who murdered that poor girl…
Finally stopping in front of a pair of white doors, Felix stepped forward and knocked lightly but still louder enough for someone to hear. It was dead quiet, nobody answered and you let out a relieved sigh. Felix knocked again, this time louder, waiting for some kind of response. You tried hiding your excitement, you really did but it was too damn hard. You didn’t have to see that monster. Backing away from Felix, you gave the redhead a shrug with a fake pout. “Aww, looks like he’s not in.” The pout then morphed into a giddy expression and you waved over to the confused guard. “Well, see you.”
About to dash off, Felix grabbed your wrist, lightly pulling you toward him. “He could just be sleeping” Felix reminded. Placing a hand on the door handle, the man opened it. Your breath hitched and you cringed watching the door eerily open, reminding you of the horror movie you used to watch before you were trapped in this nightmare of a world. Eyes pleaded for Felix to let you go back to the library, you would have got on your hands and knees if it wasn’t for the royal guard pushing you into the dimly lit room. “You’re his fiancée, I don’t think he would mind if you woke him up and anyway, he did ask for you.” And with that the oblivious man closed the door, leaving you all alone inside the lion’s den.
Thoughts plagued your head, eyes scanning the room for any sign of Claude. Checking the comfy plush bed of your soon-to-be husband, you see no Claude. Wanting to believe that he had more pressing matters to attend to, you knew that hope was just a pipe dream. Even if his kingdom was on the brink of war, the emperor would still make time for you, and probably (definitely) even start a war for you. It horrifies you to the core to think a man like him could be that obsessed with someone. A man who killed his own flesh and blood…
E/C eyes landed on a nearby figure laying peacefully on an elegant white and golden couch. Approaching the man you would find yourself captivated by the sight. Even if he was a horrible man, you do have to admit that Claude was breathtaking to look at, though you would never say that out loud. A bit of his golden locks lay against his face, covering his soft smooth face. You don’t know what compelled you to do this next thing, moving a hand towards him, you push a few locks of hair away from his face and behind his ear. In this state, he looks peaceful. You found it weirdly cute, making you forget all the bad stuff he’s done to you and the people around him. An emperor that would kill thousands in your name now reminded you of a sleeping child. But soon that would change. Not wanting to disturb him, you pushed yourself up and as you were about to move away, a hand grabbed your arm with a tight squeeze. “Where do you think you’re going?” A chill went down your spine and you mentally cursed at yourself. How long had he been awake, was he really asleep or was it some sort of trick?!
The tight grip on your wrist would surely leave a bruise. Stuttering out a response, you tried coming up with something to get you got off this shitty situation. “Umm, W-well you see…I um-“ Becoming pissed with all this stuttering and stumping, Claude rolled his diamond eyes pulling you onto him. Falling onto his chest, an arm slithered around your waist. You knew fighting him would be futile and it would only anger him, so you stayed, your head resting against his chest, hearing the light thumps of the emperor’s heartbeat. Tears welling up In your beautiful E/C eyes, sobs escaped from your mouth and salty tears stained the blonde clothes. Was this your life, to be the wife of this monster? You had a second chance at life, which not many people had and it was already going down the gutter.
Claude on the other hand ignored your cries, instead, he imagined a perfect life with you. Just the two of you together forever, maybe even a child, if Claude was kind enough to share you. Who knows what the future will hold…
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groguspicklejar · 24 days
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Regency! Era Ghost silently pining for his neglected wife, and sees how much the kingdom actually likes her as a ruler.
She's very hands-on, likes to roam the markets during harvest season and see if there can be any improvement to help the traders and farmers. She knows them by name, and they shower her with gifts.
Children love her because she encourages them to be artistic, giving them paints and brushes, especially if they have a talent for art.
Hell, the palace staff adore her, especially before Ghost put her down. Even now, she still is very kind to them, but a lot more withdrawn, and the staff closest to her secretly resent their king for snuffing out such a vibrant flame.
- ☠️
all of the above? correct💯
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in fact, most of the palace staff adore you because they're at ease with you, compared to any other high born in the entire kingdom. you're the kindest they've ever known and they cherish you, not only for knowing names, but also for joking around with them and being understanding in case someone has a family crisis at him and you're generous with money, time and effort as well.
you're very hands on, especially with agriculture. the winters can be long and brutal and you want to make sure that everyone has enough to eat and makes sure that everyone stays warm. you take extra care of the less privileged: the orphans, the women and children who need shelter from their husbands and families, the homeless, anyone who is well below the poverty line.
Simon didn't know all this. mostly because he hardly ever took the time to actually listen to the words you saying before his outburst. then after it went quiet, you never told him. it wasn't worth telling him anything if he didn't want to hear it.
he only found out from his some of his advisors always praising you for being so hands-on with the people, which made him feel worse because here you were, still being a good queen, despite given up trying to be a good wife when you weren't given the chance.
he also noticed that the servants looked at him. the fear was still there, of course, but there was something else. anger. distain. Soap did a little digging around and the answers that came out... well, they weren't much of a surprise and Simon couldn't blame the palace for resenting him.
"her handmaiden often found her cryin'." Soap told him. "she hardly talks much now."
Simon realized that had a lot of atoning to do if he was going to deserve someone like you.
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[Trouble In Paradise] [Main Masterlist] banners by @saradika and @vase-of-lilies offer a coin to the picklejar No. Taglist. I'm blocking anyone who dares to even ask because i know you lot. do not interact with this blog if you're a minor or if you have no age in your bio. read the [ground rules]. you have no excuses if you get blocked.
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