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azrielsdove · 4 months

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Love and Loss: Ch.4

Warnings: Angstttt, Some Violence

Ch.3 Here | Ch.5 Here

***

Feyre was here again. You knew the deal Rhys made, that every month he would go retrieve her. You understood he had to keep it up, had to play by the rules of his own game. He was as loving and kind to you as ever, but there was a growing divide between the two of you.

You were losing your husband.

At first you cried, eaten up by the sadness and pain. Until you had no more tears left. It hadn’t been the same since he came back from Under the Mountain. You had lost him 50 years ago, when you begged him to not go and he went anyway.

You accepted your marriage was coming to an end. Whether Rhys wanted to admit it or not, he could never love you the same again. Not after the trauma of what he went through, and not after realizing he had a mate. A mate that wasn’t you.

The day he brought Feyre to Velaris was the day it all finally ended. You knew Rhys would never look at you the same now that she was here, living in the Night Court. You waited for the pain in your heart as you watched him care for her, but it never came. There wasn’t anything left.

You moved your stuff out of Rhys’ room, asking Azriel to help bring it up to the House of Wind. You had no desire to stay in the townhouse anymore, a place that felt less and less like home everyday. You chose one of the unused bedrooms close to your friend, knowing you would feel less alone if he was nearby.

Rhys hardly noticed you had gone.

You waited for him to come ask for a divorce. You waited for him to say a single word to you. All you got was silence. You kept to yourself most of the time, not having the energy to be around the others. You stayed in your room and read, allowing the made-up stories to swallow the nightmare you lived in now.

It was some days after Rhys brought Feyre to Velaris that he called a family dinner. You dressed as usual, playing the ever-dutiful role of the High Lords wife. You kept your wedding rings on, the tattoo on your arm that matched Rhys’ visible as always. You would play the game until he admitted it was over.

You entered the dining room, not at all surprised to see Feyre in your usual seat next to your husband. You sat next to Azriel, acting as if this was all normal. You noticed the way her curious eyes rested on you, taking in your appearance. “Who are you?” She asked, rather politely.

You gave her a small smile, opening your mouth to respond when Rhys interrupted. “This is one of my dear friends.” Your ears roared at his words as he said your name. Dear friends? 150 years of being his perfect wife and you got reduced to a ‘friend’. Tension flooded the room as your friends took in what be said.

A tension Feyre noticed.

“Oh,” she said, understanding that he was hiding something. “It’s nice to meet you. Are you Azriel’s wife?”

The shadowsinger choked on his drink next to you, a laugh bubbling out of you in shock at her words. Feyre’s cheeks colored as she realized her mistake. “I’m sorry, I noticed the ring and assumed.” She looked down at the table in embarrassment. Rhys shot you and Az a nasty look, angry that you had upset his mate.

“Oh, it is okay!” You consoled, waving away her worry. “No, my husband sits next to you.”

Her eyes widened as she looked at Rhys, who was in turn glaring daggers at you. You gave him a sweet smile, done playing his game. He could either man up and divorce you, or treat you like the wife you were. “But you said she was your friend?” Feyre asked him, confused by the whole situation.

“Our marriage was one of duty, not love.” Rhys told her, the lie falling from his lips so easily. The tattoo that matched his burned against your skin, a signal that the marriage pact was breaking. You snorted, standing from the table.

“If that’s the story you wish to tell, Rhysand.” You shot at him, disgust dripping from your words. “As it stands, i’d say our marriage no longer matters.” You slid the rings you’ve worn for a century and a half off your finger, setting them down on the table. “Welcome to Velaris, Feyre.”

***

The second you were out of sight of the dining room you took off running. You wished more than ever that you could fly, that you could run away from the House and never return. You knew you would have to answer to Rhys, and it wasn’t his anger that scared you. It was yours. You didn’t regret what you said or how you acted. After so long of playing the docile female, you had decided that version of you was dead.

Rhys had killed her.

You stopped running in front of the doors to the library. You may as well reside in a public area, waiting for Rhys to come find you. You grabbed a book and settled on the couch as if nothing was wrong, opening it and beginning to read.

It did not take long before he showed up.

“What, may I ask, is wrong with you?” He demanded from the doorway.

“Me? The question, dear husband, is what is wrong with you?” You asked, not looking up from your book.

“This isn’t like you.” He said, his voice quiet.

“No, it isn’t.” You agreed, still continuing to read as if he wasn’t there.

Rhys walked over, coming to stand in front of you. “Tell me how to fix it. How to fix us.” He begged, pushing your book down gently.

You sighed, looking up at him. “You can’t.”

Anger flooded through the male in front of you, not used to his charms not working. “You are being ridiculous.”

“No, Rhys. I am simply looking at the facts. Our marriage has been over for a long while.” You spoke nonchalantly, as calmly as if this were a conversation about the weather.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about. You’re allowing jealousy to cloud your love for me.” You laughed at his words.

“My love for you? What about your love for me? Or was our marriage just an ‘act of duty’?” You quoted his words back at him, standing up from the sofa.

He rolled his eyes, exasperated by you. “I was trying to fix the mess you made!”

“The mess I made? By gods Rhysand, do you even hear yourself? You were the one who chose to introduce me as your ‘friend’!” You shot out, anger rising under your skin.

“She doesn’t need to know everything.” He defended, crossing his arms in front of him.

“Oh my bad, how silly of me. Of course your mate doesn’t need to know about your wife!” Your voice was close to a shout, but you didn’t care.

“Do not raise your voice with me!” He yelled back, stepping closer to intimidate you. “You could have just pretended to be Azriel’s wife!”

You blinked up at him, shock on your face. “There was a time when even the thought of me pretending that would have you fuming.”

“That time is over. I can’t feel jealousy for someone I no longer love.” His words were like a bullet through you, a knife in your heart.

“I see.” You said, moving away from him. “You know Rhys, you could have just asked for a divorce when you returned from Under the Mountain.” Your voice was devoid of emotion as you stared into his eyes. “I would have done anything to make you happy, as always. There was no need to force yourself to pretend you still cared about me.” You watched your words land, regret almost coming onto his face.

Instead, he scoffed at you. “I’ve never cared about you.” His voice was dangerously calm. “I married you because I like to win, my dear.” He came close to you, knuckles dragging across your cheek. “I never loved you. What I loved was dangling you over Azriel’s head.”

Your hand connected with his face before you even realized what you were doing. The smack echoed through the room, too angry to care about the consequences. In seconds Rhys had you kneeling on the floor, his power raiding your mind. He had only ever trained you to keep your shields up enough to deflect initial attacks, but never strong enough to deflect him.

You knew you were screaming, the pain unlike anything you had ever experienced. “Never,” Rhys roared in your mind, “lay your hands upon me again. You ungrateful, dirty bitch.” You were trying everything to push him out as you began to feel your brain turn to mush, unable to withstand the power he was sending through you. Your nails were scratching into the hardwood, blood coming from your fingers as they shattered.

Suddenly he was gone, ripped out of your mind. You crumpled into a ball, shaking as you curled in on yourself. You heard the distant sounds of fighting, someone picking you up. You recognized Cassian’s comforting voice whispering in your ear, trying to bring you back to the present. You opened your eyes, vision blurry while you looked around the room. You saw a great cloud of darkness, Rhysand’s power and Azriel’s shadows. Cassian set you down gently onto the sofa, running into the fight to separate his brothers.

“Enough!” He roared, pushing the two of them apart. The darkness on both sides dwindled, revealing two bloody males. “Rhys, I don’t know what has gotten into you, but if you think you can murder your wife in our home you are mistaken.” Cassian’s voice was hard, strained.

You watched as Rhys shook out his sleeves, pinning his cuffs back up. “She shouldn’t have acted so foolish then.” He said, sounding nothing like the male you all knew. He turned from his brothers, leaving the room. Azriel was by your side in seconds, eyes holding yours.

“Let me help you.” He whispered, pulling you into his arms. You nodded, laying your tired head on his chest. You faintly heard him and Cassian talking as he walked you to his room, some sort of plan being made.

“We can’t let him be around her alone again.” Azriel was saying.

“I agree. I think we should keep an eye on Rhys as well. This is most unlike him. We cant risk him attacking anyone else.” Cassian responded, ever the General.

Azriel hummed in agreement, too angry to say much more. You began to fall in and out of consciousness, the power Rhys had thrown at you too much to handle. The last thing you remember was Azriel yelling for a healer, placing you onto a bed that smelled like him.

***

You were laid out on a stretch of grass near the Sidra, a book in your hands. You hummed to yourself, turning another page. You were hardly taking the words in, mind distracted by your most recent outing with Rhys. The new High Lord was certainly charming, daydreaming about him every second you were apart.

You thought about the way he had kissed you when he dropped you off back home, the way his hands cupped your face. The gentle words he whispered into your lips, praising your beauty and mind. You hadn’t been in love before, but you were certain you were now. You smiled to yourself at the thought.

Footsteps approached you and you turned to find Azriel. “Hello,” you greeted, moving into a sitting position. You patted the spot next to you for him to sit as well.

“Hello,” he said back, sitting next to you. “What are you reading?”

“Oh, some new romance I found at the library. Truthfully, i’m finding it a little hard to focus.” You giggled, not having told your friend what’s been going on. You knew he and Rhys were like brothers, but something felt off about telling him.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He pried, reading your body language.

“Okay,” you began, turning to face him. “But you can’t get mad!” He laughed, shaking his head.

“I’d never get mad at you.”

“Rhys has been courting me, and I think he’s going to make it official soon.” Your words were met with a stunned silence. Your smile faltered, worried your friend was uncomfortable that you were going with his brother.

“Oh.” Was all Azriel said, staring blankly at you.

“Is that okay? I hope I didn’t upset you. He’s just so sweet and handsome and ugh!” You gushed, throwing yourself back down onto the blanket.

Azriel remained stoic next to you, sucking the joy out of your announcement. “That’s great.” He said dully, not sounding like it was great at all. He stood abruptly, beginning to walk away. “I have to go. Urgent meeting just came up.”

He was gone before you could say another word.

***

Ahhhhh I so hope you guys enjoyed this part!!! You got a little snippet of what happened all those years ago at the end, the next part will hold Azriel’s account of what happened between him and Rhys. Please let me know what you think and if you want to be added to the taglist!!!!!

Taglist: @amara-moonlight @tothestarsandwhateverend @onlyangellh @hnyclover @greenapplesaucepi @just-a-social-casualty-1 @heyyitsnat21 @mirandasidefics @bubybubsters s @mybestfriendmademe

#acotar #acotar x reader #azriel #rhysand #azriel x reader #rhys x reader #rhysand x reader #love and loss #azriel x y/n #azriel x you

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dykealloy · 4 months

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Trafalgar Law and Faith

Pre-emptive warning this is going to be another LONG metapost/analysis. There’s a lot I could talk about here but for the sake of structure I’m going to split this into three sections, i.e. the main ‘faith transitions’ that Law has gone through in the narrative thus far: 1. Flevance (catalyst for loss of religious faith), 2. Corasan (martyr that figuratively and literally saves law by giving him something to live for, introducing the will of D.), and 3. Luffy (cementing faith in this new belief system and regaining trust in the goodness of humanity through the living embodiment of everything Corasan believed in).

Before we get into all that though, let’s establish that Christianity is a thing in one piece. Speedrunning through some visual examples that come to mind; the Flevance church and nun (holding a celtic cross - censored in the anime version), a nun literally praying to God right before Marineford, Vinsmoke Sora’s grave marked with a cross (is op Christianity a northern thing?), Usopp and Chopper having crucifixes and holy water whenever ghostly stuff is brought up, Kuma and his trusty bible, the religious symbols on Kikoku’s hilt (could instead be more a reference to the Red Cross/symbol of humanitarian and medical aid as a doctor) and especially in whatever Mihawk’s got going on (though this could just be a Japanese cultural thing with Christianity being a minority religion or Oda just finding that some of the iconography, y’know. looks cool). There are also many other references to other religions e.g. hinduism, shintoism, buddhism, etc. Whether op forms of religion are the same as the real-world ones is debatable, and yes, Law being canonically raised as a devout catholic schoolboy with all the religious trauma associated with that is comical, but let’s take it all unironically for a hot minute. For fun.

1. Flevance

Law’s birthplace (Flevance) is described as being, at one point, “a very wealthy country with an unearthly beauty about it, with pure white soil and plants, like some kind of snow kingdom in a fairy tale.” The country’s wealth came from the very bedrock it sits on — white lead, which could be used to make various high quality products like tableware, cosmetics, weapons etc. When the wider world heard about this everyone wanted a piece of Flevance (the World Government also getting involved with distribution), and very quickly white lead became a “bottomless well of money”. So, hooray. Law gets to grow up in a rich city in a big house with educated doctor parents and probably gets to go to private school on weekdays and festivals with his family on weekends. One problem. In their greed, the Government and royalty have been knowingly hiding the truth about this supposed goldmine from the beginning. White lead is a toxic poison. Mining it from the ground over the last century and putting it in so many everyday products has resulted in it accumulating in the citizens’ bodies and leading to amber lead sickness, shortening their life-span with each successive generation – with the children of Law’s generation fated to die out before they reach adulthood.

In the bible (especially in the old testament), God often inflicted these insanely disastrous events upon humanity, usually as some kind of punishment for their wrongdoings or as a test of their faith. Some events of which include (but are not limited to): famine, outbreaks of disease and natural disasters (e.g. hail, wildfire, earthquakes, floods). Historically, these stories played a key role in how humanity interpreted meaning from horrible disasters (e.g. assuming bubonic plague was sent as a punishment by god). Fire imagery is very common among these disasters as a representation for hell, which is clearly reflected in the destruction of Flevance.

Sometimes these disasters had sole survivors act as messengers for God. With that context, let’s put ourselves back in the shoes of a ten-year old Law. Raised religious, freshly traumatised from losing his home, his devout family, all the comforts of his life, and having the outside world completely abandon him, this kind of event is likely going to be processed as some form of divine punishment. Law stumbles through hell, finds all his dead classmates, and the last words of sister nun echo through to him here. Merciful and salvation are huge catholic buzzwords – promises of holy compassion, deliverance and hope – and all of it fire and smoke and riddled with bullet holes before him. A genocide funded, perpetuated and covered up by the same body Law was promised was there to save them. And the only reason Law hadn’t died with them was because he wanted to stay with his little sister Lami, who was on her deathbed, and his parents, who were themselves trying to help the afflicted citizens, Law’s own father (before he was shot and killed alongside his mother) begging for more doctors, fresh blood, anything the world can offer, and asking “Why doesn’t the government announce to everyone that white lead is not infectious?”

Oftentimes (and in the case of Law), when there’s a promise of heavenly intervention or some miracle that doesn’t follow through, it results in an ultimate feeling of betrayal and anger. Unfortunately a lot of Catholic teachings also use a lot of guilt, essentially teaching people that the bad things that happen to you are your fault and there needs to be some sort of penance (queue Law’s survivor’s guilt that carries on down the road). But also, if this was supposed to be some divine punishment, for what exactly? For the town being blinded by the incredible wealth they were sitting on? Being lied to? Continuing to extract their livelihood, ignorant of its dangers? Punishment for who? His parents? His innocent little sister? For ten year-old Law? These people who believed in God, who were good people? That’s fucking stupid. None of these people suffered and died for any reason at all — certainly not for a sacred one. God hadn’t saved a single one of them. Law had to crawl out of hell himself by sneaking over the border under a mound of corpses.

Given everything that happened here, Law has every reason to fall into nihilism, and you can see how his upbringing would’ve bred a lot of the feelings of guilt, anger and resentment that you still see in Law (which would suggest that though this is where he likely cuts ties with the religious/Catholic component of his faith, growing up with these teachings in his formative years would definitely influence underlying beliefs about how the world works, and how Law behaves and subconsciously processes information), but at the same time, there’s usually some form of redemption and changes to how these patterns of behaviour can be approached later down the line.

2. Corasan

Fresh off witnessing his whole world burning down around him, Law meets Corazon at the very bottom of this pit of self-destructive rage and unprocessed grief. Rosinante himself mentions to Sengoku that the hatred in Law at this time reminded him of his brother, but beyond the anger, harsh pessimism, vengefulness, I think you have to reach to find similarities between them. You can see some fragments of Doffy in Law down the line at times, with Law seeming to enjoy violence (especially against the navy, but given what they did to Flevance, it’s some well-deserved retribution for Law imo), but I’m not so sure it’s the cruelty so much as it is the high he gets off his own flavour of justice. Doctor’s Hippocratic oath maybe, but never once does Law like seeing others die (even at this point, he’s in tears next to a dead body, even though he’s the one holding the knife), and later on in Wano he makes it explicitly clear to Zoro that he’d rather see the mission fail than have any of them end up dead.

Little Law wanted to destroy the world and everything in it, but thinking rationally, what other choice did this kid have? He had no remaining family, was doomed to die before he hit puberty due to a terminal illness, was perceived as an infectious subhuman that most doctors would’ve sooner tried to exterminate than help. To Law, the world had turned its back on him – considering him a monster for simply surviving. He has all this hatred and pain boiling away with him with no tangible target to direct it towards. And this is the first clear cut rejection of faith that we see in Law. Any concept of a merciful God had just died. What God would allow this? Why is Law alive (a question that he repeats to himself throughout his life), why are these scumbags alive, why is the world going on spinning as if nothing has happened when his whole world had gone up in flames, why does anyone at all get to be here when everything I loved is gone? And it’s far easier to fall into a despondent nihilistic stupor than it is to work through any of that, and what’s the point in trying to process and move on from it, when there’s no hope for a future for Law anyway? When the only thing waiting ahead is more pain? What was this, if not a punishment? He’s supposed to be some messenger for God? How about fuck God, or whatever entity that exists that made him suffer this. Law’s not going to be a messenger for shit, thanks, he’d rather be their monster, he’d rather watch the world burn.

Corazon survives Law’s stabbing and doesn’t rat the little shit out (to Law’s confusion). It’s business as usual for another two years, then, one day Rosinante overhears his true name - Trafalgar “D” Water Law, and everything changes. On the back of his own beliefs, Rosinante dedicates himself to making sure Law a) lives and b) doesn’t become his brother. Law’s relatively short six month stint with Corasan forms the basis of Law’s new creed going forward, and all it took was a bit of kindness, love and humanity when the rest of the world had abandoned him. In the end Rosinante doesn’t save Law for the will of D. and the storm he’s predicted to bring in the future (as Law suspects), but he certainly believes in it, and the strength of Corasan’s conviction transfers right over to Law when he forces the ope ope fruit down the kid’s throat to heal him, tells Law he loves him, then sacrifices himself to set Law free.

Law clings to that love he was given, he takes all these fundamental teachings and ways of thinking in regards to faith that were drilled into him during his youth, rejects the religion element and applies just about everything else to Corasan. He holds onto the last shreds of what Corasan leaves him with. Corasan becomes his “benefactor” (he gave my my heart), his saviour, his martyr.

And the crazy thing is, Rosinante was never really this saint Law makes him out to be. Law hated the clutz when they first met (mostly on account of Corazon throwing him through a glass window down at least two stories and into a pile of scrap). Corazon initially showed nothing but contempt for his presence (to ward him and the other children away from the Donquixote family, but these are still extreme measures). And it wasn’t until after learning Law’s name that Rosinante dragged him kicking, crying and screaming from hospital to burning hospital (not very saintlike in of itself), even after Law begged him to stop. Rosinante became Law’s saviour partly because of his belief in the will of D., and probably due to some guilt being a Donquixote, but mostly because he has always had a bleeding heart and he pitied (and had very quickly come to love) this angry, sick, deeply lost little kid. All this to say that Law’s faith in Corasan – this saintlike figure Law upholds him as in the future and the lengths he’s willing to go to avenge him/fulfil Rosinante’s purpose reflects the strength of the absolute beliefs Law would’ve been raised with in regards to God.

Whether it be out of survivor’s guilt (just one more body to heap on top of the Flevance pile), his love for Corasan, or for the sake of taking vengeance on the man that took away the one good thing he’d been able to regain in his miserable life, Law adopts Corasan’s will, the will of D. (which in of itself seems divine in nature), incorporates it into his new belief system, actively takes on the role of the divine punisher/justiciar and dedicates his life to bringing down Doflamingo.

3. Luffy

Catholicism dictates that the entirety of someone’s beliefs should be dedicated to one true cause (that cause being God) and expects people to ride on that, letting it carry them through life, give them hope, purpose, etc. But a lot of former Catholics choose instead to find that through something else. Corasan ignited the spark in Law’s faith around the will of D., but it’s not until he meets Luffy that this really becomes something that feels tangible and real for Law.

When Law saved Luffy in Marineford (putting the heart crew in danger for a stranger he met once), he said he did so “on a whim”, but that seems incredibly ooc for Law — this man that pretty much planned out how the rest of his life would go after the dust of Corasan’s death settled and he came to terms with the fact he wasn’t going to die at age thirteen like he’d originally thought. Circling back to the concept of Law being a sole survivor/messenger for God, it is interesting that Law is the one to seek out Luffy (given that Luffy is usually always the one either being abandoned by people or recruiting his crewmates), and Law is ultimately the catalyst for pulling him towards Dressrosa and Wano. There must be a REASON that led to Law deciding Luffy to be the most viable option out of the Worst Generation for an alliance (beyond blind trust in an unhinged captain that just so happens to also bear the initial D, and Luffy being one of the few captains crazy enough to go along with what Law was cooking up).

Law undoubtedly would’ve kept a peripheral eye on Luffy for some time before officially meeting him due to him being a rising competitor pirate and another “D” (I imagine the news of his utterly insane exploits would’ve made good reading material, too). The first time Law lays eyes on Luffy in Sabaody though, he still blows all expectations out of the water — crashing headfirst into the crowd of a slave auction and immediately committing a felony against a member of the most powerful upper one percent.

The world nobles are at an “untouchable God” tier in terms of class standing and believe it’s only natural for them to be entitled to whatever and whoever they want in this world that’s beneath them – the same kind of self-aggrandizing false divinity that Law has a a lot of repressed rage towards and that the will of D. is fated to oppose, so this, understandably, is a highly compelling first encounter, but it’s really only an initiating factor for what ultimately draws Law to Luffy. From their very first meeting (and probably before then, in the news stories and rumours Law likely picked up on), it’s made abundantly clear that Luffy does what he wants without a second’s hesitation, no matter the consequences, simply because he feels it is the right thing to do. Some call this an iron will, Law would be more inclined to call it willful stupidity and trouble, but time after time Luffy somehow manages to pull off what Law would best describe as “miracles”. And Law believes the straw hats just might be the ones to drum up another one for him.

Luffy’s also got a lot of passing resemblances to Corasan going for him, e.g. inherently kind, compassionate liberators with big dumb hearts and wide goofy smiles in spite of everything they’ve been through, treating Law as nakama and saving his life despite his protests etc. All of which I’m sure Law hasn’t been completely unaffected by despite the high walls he puts up. And the more Law learned about Luffy the more it probably became clear that he is the antithesis to Doflamingo, i.e. what makes Luffy so goddamn dangerous and terrifying beyond his physical power is his ability to make friends with a simple kind of unconditional love that gets reciprocated enough so that these friends are willing to die for him.

Luffy agrees to the alliance, they successfully blow up Caesar’s base, and head off to Dressrosa. Now’s the time I should bring up that it’s taught in Catholicism that self sacrifice is the ultimate heavenly deed, and here Law is undoubtedly prepared to be a martyr for his cause. Law sends away his crew to Zou before Punk Hazard with the expectations that he’d never see them. He cultivates a fierce emotional detachment against Luffy’s willingness to bring him into the fold of the straw hats, and is resolute in that when the time comes, he will handle this himself, he will carry out Corasan’s will, and if he has to die for it, he will die with Corazon’s name plastered on his back. (Note here that Christianity is contradictory in that Law being this ready to die here is a sin, because revenge and suicide are highly discouraged, so you could say that by avenging and dying for his saviour, Law would be committing both the ultimate sacrifice and the ultimate sin).

Things get very dicey for Law in Dressrosa, to put it lightly. Doflamingo reveals that he was a celestial dragon (linking back into the will of D. “enemy of the Gods” notion), puts Law on the backfoot and gives him a thorough beating before shooting Law with a couple dozen white lead bullets in front of Luffy (because even when he’s winning Doffy loves to be a cunt about it). By the time Doflamingo is cuffing Law to the heart seat, it’s all looking pretty grim, and it’s very apparent when Luffy shows up to save him, that he is ready to die.

Law here has given up. He spent years planning his revenge for Corasan, but he lost, and he has very little left in the tank (physically, emotionally, spiritually). But Luffy doesn’t listen. Luffy who doesn’t think, doesn’t care, who trampled all over Law’s carefully laid out plan from the get-go and who is willing to take on Doflamingo single handedly for the simple slight that he dared to harm Luffy’s friend Law. Law will never find peace in his own demise because Luffy doesn’t do peaceful. He does loud and unashamed and open with no rhyme or reason other than the excruciatingly simply fact that he loves people and he thinks the people he loves deserve to have good lives. Luffy chucks Law over his shoulder and drags an injured Law across the city despite his protests (sound familiar?) and in the process inspires the fighting spirit in Law again.

When Law confronts Doflamingo again with Luffy in tow, Law’s faith in Luffy confounds him. The last Doflamingo remembers of Law is this beautifully moldable dark pit of grief and rage who’d given up on believing, period – who wanted the world destroyed. Not so long ago, Law had been a candidate for Doflamingo’s next protégé. Now?

THIS is the action (grinning, staring down the barrel of a gun, flipping Doffy off as he tells him in not so many words that he may kill Law but he will never beat Luffy), Law’s unshakeable faith in the face of his own death is what has Doflamingo realising he will never regain control of Law again – is what incites Doflamingo to go from breaking Law down so he can build him back up again, to conceding defeat and outright killing him.

The trust that Luffy inspires in Law and the way he talks about Luffy (Luffy being this powerful, miracle-inducing liberator that Law can’t comprehend but follows anyway, Law laying down his hopes on him, weaponizing the will of D. to try and provoke fear from Doffy), is very reminiscent of the awe and faith talked about in scripture. Law discovers the feelings of comfort and hope that Catholicism was supposed to give him in Luffy, but Law’s belief in Luffy is a direct rejection of those teachings. Rejection by believing in a real life person as opposed to the divinity he was taught about. He’s also cementing his belief in the will of D., thus rejecting Doflamingo and all the people that embody the sort of “all powerful” divinity that he abhors (i.e. celestial dragons, Kaido, the Gorōsei/five elders) for the embodiment of hope and humanity.

When Law survives (again), he expresses he’d rather see Luffy beat Doflamingo with his own eyes or die with Luffy if he loses than leave. Then he watches, after all this talk of miracles, looking up in reverence as Luffy delivers, bright as the sun, haloed by the bars of a cage that’s haunted him for over a decade, Corasan’s words echoing at the back of his mind. God had never saved or freed Law, but Corasan was there for him, the heart crew was there, Luffy was there. And this is Law’s biggest, clearest rejection of religion – this newfound faith in humanity.

This faith in Luffy is put to the test again in Wano when Luffy is struck down by Kaido, but Law never truly stops believing that he’ll make a comeback. Even when the straw hats doubt whether he’s alive or not, something tells him Luffy’s not dead, and he holds onto that hope.

We also have the whole nika/joyboy backstory which really only reinforces all of this imagery/god-fearing looks of awe from Law and this idea of Luffy who is this perfect juxtaposition of empathetic and kind to incredibly fearsome fire and brimstone fighter. And regardless of whether you’re into the ship or not this is the impetus of Law’s relationship with Luffy for me, because here’s Luffy who has every right to have a chip on his shoulder and be downtrodden about all the injustices against him, here’s this little guy who against all odds, in the darkest of places, embodies light and hope and kindness and proves to Law that there will be hard times but there IS a happy ending at the end of the tunnel, despite it all. And everytime Luffy rises to the insurmountable challenge and wins, it just further cements that the will of D. is alive, that Corasan was right, that there's something redeemable in Law, a reason why he was worth saving, even if Law doesn’t understand it quite yet.

#merry christmas law religious trauma be upon ye #what’s an endearing idiot to a non-believer #long post #favourite character thesis statement. or something #ive been wanting to talk about this for a while but just been gathering my thoughts #will preface all this by saying I was not born or raised religious but the concept’s all very compelling from an outsider’s perspective #but I have had conversations about this to people like lesbianluffy who *were* raised catholic and relate to this experience #who I have to thank a lot for helping me wrap my head around this #this is a compilation of thoughts and conversations over the last two or so months #one piece #op #CJ's op watch-through #trafalgar law #monkey d. luffy #donquixote rosinante #donquixote corazon #monkey d luffy #lawlu #trafalgar d water law #gear 5 luffy #sun god nika #wano spoilers #lulaw #op meta #op analysis #one piece analysis

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misc-obeyme · 5 months

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It’s me I’m back with Lesson 34 spoilers below. (including the hard lesson)

I always try to write these posts shortly after finishing the lesson so that it’s like… my immediate and unfiltered thoughts lol. Sometimes I change my mind about stuff after I see other people’s interpretations of things. So if you were wondering why I’m taking the time to write this at 2 am, that’s why. I totally forgot about the lesson during the day due to the whole Thanksgiving thing.

ANYWAY.

I feel like we got SO MUCH BARB in this lesson?? He was barely in it. But we had other characters talking about him and that honestly makes me happy, too. Probably because I like when they give us some perspective into his character.

BUT FIRST.

Belphie. We were actually playing the role of Lilith in his little Celestial Realm dream sequence, right? And then at the end it’s all but we’re not siblings.

Listen. I just think that Belphie has a lot of unresolved trauma surrounding Lilith and I really don’t feel like having MC play hide-and-seek with him in a dream is going to be enough to help him move past it. Enough to make him want to help MC? Maybe. But I dunno.

However, I also think I probably shouldn’t expect anything more intense than that from an otome game. They were just trying to give us SOMETHING to explain why he was cool with making a pact.

WHICH WE FINALLY DID. With Beel, Belphie, AND Levi. I get Beel & Belphie doing theirs at the same time, but I’m still a little baffled about why Levi waited so long. There probably isn’t a reason, but who knows maybe they’ll surprise us with something lol.

Ah. Lucifer.

This was my favorite part:

I love Mammon, he always just says exactly what he’s thinking (unless it’s how much he loves MC lol).

But we all knew it wasn’t going to be that easy, right? We knew Lucifer would be last. We knew that Lucifer would be the most difficult one to make a pact with. Remember what happened with him last time? Of course he doesn’t want to make a pact with us now. We’re likely going to be going through some kind of long drawn out drama that will eventually lead to Lucifer giving in and making a pact with us.

However, I found both Solomon’s and Diavolo’s reactions to this absolutely hilarious:

Can the two of you take this seriously, please?? I know you both find Lucifer highly entertaining and yeah, I'm usually laughing at him most of the time, too, but I need that pact to get back to where I'm from, thanks.

But we’re only on Lesson 34. So I think we still have plenty of time to make a pact with Lucifer, learn the truth about Nightbringer, and return to our timeline (or have the timelines merge or whatever nonsense they’re gonna do).

I’m still hoping for all that to get resolved by the end of this season lol.

Now, I found this exchange from Belphie’s Celestial Realm shenanigans especially interesting:

Assuming this is accurate to what actually happened when Lucifer was still an angel, this means that the angels knew Barbatos. They know him by name, they clearly think he’s a big deal, and they’re surprised that he’s agreed to be Diavolo’s butler.

I was always under the impression that the demons and the angels didn’t really know much about each other. But now I’m wondering if maybe Barbatos had something to do with the end of the war that happened before the Celestial War. The one that was between the Celestial Realm and the Devildom. I have no reason for thinking this other than the fact that as angels, Lucifer & Simeon clearly know him. And what else would they know him from? Though I suppose anything could have happened lol.

And then there was all of this:

What does it MEAN?! (Obviously I chose the second option for MC's dialogue, which increased Barb's intimacy.)

Barbatos my true love. Why did you give MC a real piece of paper from your grimoire? He’s always been cautious, always keeping MC at arm’s length, and now all of a sudden it’s here’s a piece of my grimoire? There is NO WAY he doesn’t have all of the build up from the OG. I can’t believe that he would actually give MC a piece of his grimoire if he had only just met them at the beginning of Nightbringer. So I’m tacking this on as additional evidence that Barb knows all.

Also can we just appreciate Lucifer in 32-A? All his brothers are completely out of it and he single-handedly motivates every one of them back into action.

It sure worked, huh? Do you think the credit card is in the freezer yet?

You guys. THE HARD LESSON.

It was everything. I LOVE the Little Ds. I LOVE them hanging out with Diavolo. I LOVE that Barbatos couldn’t accompany MC because Diavolo requested some fancy human world dish. This entire hard lesson was *chef’s kiss*

GOD I love Barb's knowing look and Dia's little frown. I love them so much it's almost painful lol.

Okay that’s all I’ve got to say about this lesson. In general, I enjoyed it. They coulda played up Belphie’s yandere tendencies a bit more. I felt like his change of heart was rather rushed, but they really can’t put him through the therapy he needs. I don’t think the lessons are long enough for that.

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runningoncaffeine · 10 months

Text

I’m just gonna go on a fucking rant, might make zero sense but I have to get this out of my system.

Fourth wall right….let’s all gather and sit around, head bowed, hands under our chins, deep in thought about this shit right here

KDJ says that the Fourth wall makes it so that he perceives reality as separate from fiction of stuff that was mostly related to TWSA.

Yeah, makes sense.

Just think of this…we know that 4thwall protects him from the effects of ‘fiction’, grounding him in ‘reality’ and helping him make calm, sound, rational decisions. We also know that the Wall shakes and thins when faced with said ‘reality’

Now, here’s another thing we know about Dokja—he likes to see everything through a reader’s eyes, viewpoint if you will

One of the first things we find about him interacting with others is with Sangah and he immediately puts her into a story and gives her a role. He’s been doing this shit since before the scenarios and the apocalypse and all. So we can assume that he’s done this like almost all his life, being the ‘reader’ and seeing others essentially as characters—until they interact with his little bubble.

As it would happen, the people who interact with him and his bubble aren’t exactly very welcoming or nice most times but that aside, here’s what I’m rambling about

If you think about it, the first attributes and skills people get are related to what they were already good at and stuff

So fourth wall is essential a powered up version of KDJ’s dissociative tendencies. It’s a coping mechanism.

Him being a ‘reader’, not intervening in anyone’s story, only reading and forming opinions

Because the last time he played a major role and defeated the villain, the consequences weren’t pretty and he didn’t get the happy ending. Even after his mother ‘reread’ it to him, the ending wasn’t one he liked

The pre-apocalypse version of 4thwall (and his generally tragic life) kept him from being anything more than a ‘reader’ to other people’s lives

But this is not going to be satisfying at all —we know it, Dokja knows it, 4thwall knows it—Dokja craves to be something more than a ‘reader’

But his life is realism, he prefers fantasy novels. His story is a bore compared to the other ones he sees

And “it’s not too bad, being a reader”

Can’t we say that the 4th wall was protecting him from reality than fiction? In his mind, he’s always seen life as stories, whatever genre they were, they were always stories and the fourth wall kept them as stories….

*sighs heavily* yeah, this isn’t going out of my head anytime soon…just Dokja and his trauma….excellent…

#orv #orv analysis #orv rant #fourth wall #kim dokja #omniscient readers viewpoint #woke up with this in my head #did not help with my depression #dokja you lovely soul #why do I have so many feels about this little bastard??#whyyy???#kim dokjaaaaa #let’s all cry rivers and stare into voids as we stew in our orv feels

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bugsbenefit · 8 months

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It’s because some of us can’t stand fanon mike he’s not will or el at the end of the day it’s not our fault the duffers already messed up his character arc long ago. some of us aren’t really interested in mike like that and to be frank I hate how much trauma people are putting on him as if he isn’t a privileged middle class *maybe cis maybe not* kid with insecurities cause he can’t play hero anymore like he used to. Fanon mike is retaliation to whatever we got the last two season from the character and I get it, but why are we keep acting like he’s important to vecna or the plot like that he’s just els boyfriend and wills crush at this point.

You don’t agree with this most likely but idc I’m just here to let this out for those who sympathize with mike. He’s genuinely not a interesting character and if Will wasn’t in love with him I wouldn’t look his way.

Hello? Will solo stan that doesn't get the show in My asks? more likely than you think

i'm sorry but you clearly sent this knowing i wouldn't agree with you and you don't sound like you want a conversation so... why did you send this? was it just to tell me there's people that don't care about Mike? because shockingly, i know that already, the influx in open Mike hate was why everyone doubled down on his character being important and purposeful last week in the first place

i'm genuinely confused on how you're watching the show, though. i mean, at least you're admitting you're only in it for Will so i guess you're aware of your bias and shortcomings?

also lmao sorry but *maybe cis maybe not*?? are you trying to say being queer in the midwest 80s in a small town with a conservative environment wasn't that bad or damaging or worth elaborating on because he's "probably cis" and the family is middle class? hello? newsflash just in, the queers need to stop complaining about how scared they are of coming out and potential consequences of it, if you're cis you're basically getting cishet privileges anyway. i'm really not sure what you meant to say here, you okay? also, aren't All the characters cis??

the vendetta you have against "fanon Mike" is fascinating tbh. what exactly is "fanon Mike" to you, bc the ask suggests it's just Mike with any motivations and 3dimensional writing orrrr? also thank you for telling me that Mike El and Will are separate characters! i almost forgot! i really needed the reminder that these extremely different characters aren't actually the same person or re-skins. thanks for your service, you really showed the evil Mike-sympathizers today o7

but you know what, sure, i'll indulge this a bit, i like talking about the show after all, you don't have to read this ofc, i feel like we're both aware we won't find common ground here

saying that Mike isn't important to the plot is batshit crazy sorry not sorry. not even talking about s5, it's just plain wrong in general and i'm assuming you haven't seen the show in ages

even right from the beginning Mike is established as the first MC and then proceeds to be the main pov for the entirety of s1. in universe Mike is the parties dm unofficial leader and according to Will "heart of the party", out of universe Mike is the only character that has established relationships and evolving conflicts with every single party member and even most adults like Hopper and Joyce. i don't know how you're watching the show to take away that Mike is unimportant and a support character

ST is an ensemble show and Mike is one of the characters, alongside El, Joyce and Will that consistently fills an MC role. (while also being one of the only ones to outright get referred to as one of the mains by actors and writers) where you got the idea from that Mike is a useless character people are stupid to care about is beyond me

if you're genuinely going into s5 hoping for Mike to be as unimportant and off-your-screen as possible i feel like you're setting yourself up for the disappointment of the century. i feel stupid just listing the reasons for why Mike is clearly going to be an important player in s5 because of how obvious they are but oh well

Mike is the first protagonist ever introduced and the final season that wants to go "full circle" Has to finish his arc satisfyingly for it to work

Mike is Will's love interest, a character that's already confirmed to be more of a main on screen again, so focusing on both parties of the ship is necessary to get them together

also Mike is still in a relationship? if he's supposed to go from dating El to suddenly dating a guy that's also his childhood bff you need to elaborate on his feelings. otherwise Will's romance is also going to fall flat and i'm sure you don't want that anon

Mike is part of the people that only came back to town after everything in s4 went down already and part of the group that seems to be the main focus in s5 (see the hill shot)

also just regarding the hill shot, Mike is center stage here (and also between his two "love interests"), totally accidental i'm sure

also the only character Will told about Vecna being alive in s4 and already swore to kill him with Will, also totally not a s5 set up don't worry

and before i go on here, aside from the writers themselves mentioning Mike as a main in multiple interviews David talked about the s5 mains a few days ago and Obviously Mike is up there along with El, Will and Joyce, exactly the people you'd expect

i don't understand how people are trying so hard to claim that there's nothing interesting about Mike to get into, as if even just s4 itself doesn't go out of it's way to set up an excess of potential conflict for s5

obvious relationship drama with El left hanging after an "i love you" monologue which we didn't see a response to yet

feelings for his best friend while he's still dating his gf

the unresolved painting lie

also the sexuality issue that comes with being queer/gay, that's been going back to s1. also made more severe by the show going out of it's way to repeatedly hammer home that the Wheelers are conservative and don't have close relationships with their kids

"you're the heart", speech about leading the party and bringing everyone together. he can't just face into the bg after Will gave him that talk, there needs to be payoff

the whole hellfire thing that's set up with the members names and faces being broadcast as "satanists" and the potential reason for everything that's been going on ON TV, sure that won't have any consequences am i right?

the Vecna plot itself, s4 makes it a point to have Will tell Mike and only Mike about Vecna being alive and the two of them agree to kill him right before the season ends

and that's just the obvious set ups s4 leaves us with, not even touching on the fact that Mike's pov has been withheld for essentially 2 seasons. which is something you can do and ignore, but only if the characters don't have anything going on during that time. Mike meanwhile changes drastically in these two seasons and we never get to learn what actually happened, why he's suddenly so set on growing up and getting gfs in s3, why he's suddenly such an uninterested bf in s4, why he suddenly feels weird about kissing El in the s3 finale after already having made out with her. there's a lot happening and we only see the fall out of it, we don't get Mike's pov. you call it "bad writing" but that's a picture book writing 101 set up, if you don't see that i don't know what to tell you

but i feel like you said everything already, i'm just rambling because i like talking. we probably won't find any common ground here. you only tolerate Mike because you like Will and that's that. not everyone has to care about every aspect of a show, however, i don't get why you're going to other blogs to tell them about your personal preference and about how you don't like one of the MCs. this is an ensemble show, it's not the El-show, and it's not the Will-show either, both of these takes are equally wrong

i don't know what the ideal s5 would look like to you, but if it turned out Will was the only important thing and the only character we focused on it would be absolute ass and horrible writing

Lucas just lost Max and left him with a shit ton of trauma, also Erica's gone through so much too. Max is still lost in a coma. El is distraught over not being able to save Max and now not find her anymore. Dustin just lost Eddie right in front of him too. there's a military presence in Hawkins now, the hellfire club fallout still hasn't happened, and so on and on. (also things like the "Nancy love triangle" still need time to be resolved too)

there's a lot s5 has to focus on to be a good wrap up for all these arcs. and yes, handling Mike's arc well is also part of that, shockingly

also ending this with a: you know people are allowed to like and care about character even if you don't give a shit about that character, right? claiming a central character with a ton of conflict set up isn't interesting is well withing your right and i won't change your mind on that, i'm aware, but going after people for actually caring about the conflicts the show is setting up isn't the move either. not everyone is obligated to share your views, especially when they're this far out there. and i feel like you knew that going in here

#help what a take #no hard feelings anonie we clearly knew there wouldn't be a consensus from the start here lmao #but oh well i'm still kind of surprised to see these takes ngl #ask tag

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precious-little-scoundrel · 22 days

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What do you have in store for Ida and Rosie’s story? Because they are the only pairing who aren’t at the POW camp.

Aha!! This is gonna be a long answer, hence why I let your ask molder away as I worked on a reply, thanks for your patience.

I can’t wait to weave this whole thing, and it’s honestly the only postwar story I’m at all sure about in this universe so far. Let’s just say it’s a hella slow burn. Even after getting married. Because they do marry. Rather soon. But they are a bit of a buddy cop duo. Romantic love -at least for Ida- comes later.

I think it’s safe to assume that dear Ida was present when Rosie first introduced himself to the Bucks, told his underwear story and generally made a magnificent entry. Now, one must consider two things with this:

1. Rosie’s regret over what the hell he was thinking telling that story would be compounded by telling it in front of a female officer

2. Ida might have always been a stiff spined stickler before her trauma and the Stalag, but she did have a sense of humor. I like to think she found him funny, plus, with the Bucks beginning to fray a little in their own morale, flagging in offering encouragement to the newbies, I think Ida would be the sort to fill that role, best she can. Surprisingly, Rosenthal, Nash, Pappy, they’re not the sorta men to resent a woman giving them a pep m-up chat.

Now, keep in mind it’s three missions later and she’s been downed so there was not really a connection made there. Although I love to think that some night in the Stalag when everyone is bored and playing ask games with each other, one of the questions is:

“Who was the last person ya danced with?”

And Bucky gets to tell about Paulina and Gale gets chafed about choosing Meatball over Maureen and Brady bemoans having been so stuck on the bandstand playing sax instead of taking his chances and then when it’s Ida’s turn she’s just: “it was one of the new ones, the ‘egg frying on the instrument panel,’ guy.”

This is met with a chorus of “Rosenthal???”

“Told me to call him Rosie.” Ida shrugs. “He had some fun moves.”

Anyways. That’s a far off thing by April of ‘45.

SPOILERS ABOUT ESCAPE:

….

when Ida get away with Gale and makes it back first of anyone to England? Best believe she is beyond distracted with worry for her girls. Who’s there to meet her and welcome her and Cleven to Thorpe? Crosby of course -and Rosie. Malnourished, ptsd riddled and burdened with responsibility for her girls, Ida isn’t exactly the sparkly female Colonel that Rosenthal remembers meeting and dancing with.

In fact, that first initial interaction goes a bit sourly. She needs a nap, he awkwardly needs a deposition on her treatment. It’s a little rough, ok?

But the longer she is back at Thorpe, reunited with her few girls still there who were never downed, she learns how well their new Lt. Colonel -Rosenthal- has looked after them, fought to resend the grounding orders after Ida went down, generally been a good bean.

Also, due to being her superior now and having been given the legal burden of collecting information and evidence on the girls treatment by the Germans, Rosenthal and Ida start spending time, a lotta time, together.

There’s Jeep chauffeuring, Coffee Breaks and Mercy Runs where he goads her into buzzing the tower for the first time in her life -“of course I haven’t done it before, Rosenthal. One of you cats do it and it’s cute, I do it and I’m fired. No, I don’t mean discharged, I mean plainly fired.”

And then there’s the depositions, eventually full of her having to dictate shit that she’s never vocalized since it happened to her. Somehow, Rosie makes the whole thing easier than she ever expected. Not to say it’s easy. Although if you asked his female secretary, she’d say the one more visibly affected by it was the male lawyer, not the half catatonic victim spewing a rote litany of horror.

One time, his grip on his pencil gets so tight that it snaps. Ida replaces it. His quiet rage for her is about the best closure she’s felt so far. And that thread of such shared knowledge between them and them alone, even if it was in professional context? -That’s Intimacy. Far more than kisses or rings.

A righteous vengeance duo? Yes please, they’re a force to be reckoned with as the war winds down.

Before long Ida is asking Croz, “Was Rosenthal always that pretty?”

Harry is cackling over it, “Yeah.” He goads her, “But he is more confident now.”

“Confidence.” Ida repeats, trying to convince herself, “Yeah, that would be it.”

The thing of it is, Ida was unsure or marriage before her brutal treatment in captivity. Now? And after her military experience? She’s very sure she could never be a wife. Not even of a smart and secure man like Robert Rosenthal. Men just expect certain things and dynamics from their wives and Ida has never been sure she had that in her. Now she’s positive. And she’s too proud to marry only to then “turn a blind eye” as he finds what she lacks in women elsewhere.

Rosie? His argument is that what they’ve already built these last months, it’s what he wants. Marrying her is to keep that. If that’s all they ever have that’s enough, he couldn’t stand to lose it.

A chaste honeymoon on the way to Nuremberg to go fuck up a bunch of Nazis for the second time in their young lives? You betcha.

#Ida Brady #Rosie x Ida #those who can #TWC asks

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 10 months

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Hi Raven!!! I wanted to ask if we know anything about the Kingscholar parents? Was thinking about how Idia’s parents ended up being lvoing people even though Idia described them as being cold. I’m going to assume that is true abd it isn’t Ortho’s dream until the next update proves us right or wrong. Like Idia do you think Leona maybe describes his parents as being bad but the parents are actually kind and understanding?

[Referencing this post and this post!]

I believe all we know about the Kingscholar parents is that Mr. Kingscholar is ill, so Falena has assumed the kingly responsibilities in his place. To my knowledge, there have been no prominent mentions of Mrs. Kingscholar or what she is/was like. We haven’t heard about what the relationship between Falena and Leona and their parents is like either.

So… there’s really not enough information to really indicate whether Mr. Kingscholar is a loving father or not. We don’t even know what his ruling style is like or what his personality is like. There is no such information to draw on; I’m not counting Leona’s attitude here as “proof” of anything because (as we can see with Idia), 1) when someone is already in a bad mental state, it can be easy for them to see and portray everything negatively (as we see with Leona talking about Falena’s positive traits such as his love for his family as signs of naivety or poor leadership), and 2) lack of parental presence in a post-OB flashback does not automatically mean the parent is distant or cruel; it could just mean the parent does not play a significant role in the character’s trauma. (This point is, as the Anon says, somewhat reliant on the Shroud parents’ depiction being real and not “it’s just Ortho’s dream” theory.)

If I had to make a really broad guess, I’d think that Papa Kingscholar was usually too busy with royal duties and dealing with his health to be able to be with his sons? It’s similar to how even though Maleficia cares about Malleus, her responsibilities as queen kept her from spending quality time with him. And with Leona left to the harsh gossiping and critique of the servants, well… yeah 😔 At least we know that Falena and Cheka care for Leona and try to be present for him; it’s important to have a strong circle of support to prop you up!

#twst #twisted wonderland #Leona Kingscholar #Idia Shroud #notes from the writing raven #disney twisted wonderland #question #spoilers #Ortho Shroud #Ignihyde #Cheka Kingscholar #Malleus Draconia #Falena Kingscholar #Farena Kingscholar #Maleficia Draconia

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writerbuddha · 5 months

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So I’ve been following COP28 over the past two weeks and today I was also reading about the upcoming Star Wars novel The Living Force and together they had me wondering how does Buddhism balance it’s philosophy of focusing on the present without falling into the kind of short-term thinking that’s played a not insignificant role in problems like climate change and mass environmental destruction. Because while I certainly understand not obsessing over the future, it also seems incredibly reckless and irresponsible to completely ignore it.

And how does Buddhism balance focusing on present when things like trauma and injustices can and do echo down generations. Given you’ve talked about preserving no longer acceptable content in a previous ask about Death of/to the Author I’m guessing that when Buddhism does talks about letting go of the past that doesn’t mean forgetting it, but I would be interested to hear what the Buddhist take on specific things like reparations given a climate damage fund for countries less equipped to fight climate change was a major sticking point for COP27.

Well, these are complex issues!

There is a kind of focus on the present moment that is "live for the moment," meaning, you concentrate on the present with little or no concern for the future. This is to live your life in a way that takes only the right now into account, and focuses entirely on making yourself feel good right now. Obviously, this leads to serious problems both on the individual and on the global level of life. Climate change and mass environmental destruction is the best example of this. Now, I assume that popular culture tries to legitimize this kind of focus on the right now by - among other things - pointing at the Buddhist focus on the present moment. However, it's very important to see that the Buddhist practice of being fully alive and being fully present in the present moment is profoundly different from being concerned only about and losing ourselves in what's happening right now.

The Buddha said: “Don't get caught in the past, because the past is gone. Don't get upset about the future, because the future is not yet here. There is only one moment for you to be alive, and that is the present moment." This means that life is only available for us in the present moment. Life is happening in the present moment and only in the present moment. It's not happening in the past, because the past is no longer reality, it not happening in the future, because it's not yet reality. Life and reality is only in the here and now. So, the basic Buddhist practice is to bring ourselves fully into the here and now, to fully engage with, to fully be present in the present moment. Like Yoda said, it's important to have our minds where we are, what we are doing. The mind shall be where the body is, not elsewhere.

Essentially, this is mindfulness of the present moment. Mindfulness, as we discussed before, is not to immerse yourself into momentary experiences, nor it's meditation - it's to maintain a flow of voluntarily awareness or attention, holding, bearing something in mind, without distraction, without forgetfulness. So, when you bring yourself into the here and now, you know what is going on in the present moment. Rather than blocking out past and future, you get back in touch with life as it's happening, you rejoin its flow. By being truly present in the moment, you, to use a crude example, realize that you are sitting in the driver's seat, and you see the traffic around yourself. You can see where you came from and where you are heading, what directions you can take and what directions you can no longer take, you can have a clear picture of whether or not you're able to drive as fast as you go right now, whether you should slow down. By being in the here and now, you are able to choose where you want to go. So, the Buddhist focus on the "present moment" is actually focus on life, a full awareness of what you are doing. It doesn't allow for one to fall into short-term thinking, it reveals, very, very clearly, the far-reaching consequences of what we are doing. Nor does it allow for dismissing other's pain, especially when it comes to the pain of the Earth, because if the Earth is dying, we are dying. In the present moment, interconnectedness reveals itself to you, but only in the present moment. Effort can only be made in the present.

In the present moment, you can see reality as it is: you can see that everything is interconnected. By being fully present, fully alive in the moment, things as simple as drinking a mug of coffee can bring forth insight that leads to a more compassionate and more wise life. If you look deeply, with mindfulness into your mug of coffee, you see the coffee beans in there. You see all the minerals, all the water, all the soil, all the sunlight that nourished it. You see all the people who tended it so it can grow, all the people who harvested it, roasted it, packed it, brought it to you so you can drink it. In that mug, you can see all their lives. You can see the Earth rotating, bringing forth the days and nights and the seasons ripening the coffee beans. You can see the water the Earth gave you so you can make your coffee. You see all the economical, political and ideological processes governing coffee production, and you see how we treat those people you see how we treat the Earth. And you see how what you do in the present will affect the future. This is not mystical, it's not even particularly religious, it's simply being truly and deeply in the present moment.

It should be clear, therefore, that being fully present and fully alive in the here and now is not the refusal of considering the consequences of your present behaviors, thoughts, feelings, nor it is the refusal of the acknowledgment of where they're coming from. Buddhism tells us that in the here and now, with mindfulness, we can clearly see if we're hurting, if we have wounds, like traumas, and by being fully alive in the present moment, we can meet them with compassion and courage. If you are present in the here and now, if you are truly there, you can see if there is a splinter in your finger (or a spear in your heart) and you can see how to remove it and how to heal. Thus, being mindful is also called "loving attention" or "loving awareness." You need to sit with, to be with your trauma and you need to do it with tenderness and courage, because that's how you will heal. We must learn all of the ways in which we have stored our traumatic experiences. We need to find the corners that our trauma has been living in. But that, too, can only happen in the flow of life. One bank is the past, and the other bank is the future. You have to swim in the river, because that's the space in which you can find healing. Letting go means, you are no longer clinging onto the pain, nor you are holding on to the false hope that you can somehow resist to past pains. You must let it go, so it can flow as it must. You must accept it, attend to it. Whether it's trauma or injustice, personal or global.

The Buddhist take on specific issues, like reparations given a climate damage fund for countries less equipped to fight climate change, is informed by these principles. My opinion is that it's a good start, but it's kind of like poisoning the river, then keep poisoning the river, but paying for the damage done to those who rely on the water of the river. People still need to stop poisoning the water.

#buddhism #present moment #enviornment #earth #mindfulness

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awaytobeunshaken · 10 months

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If You See Me Falling

He tried. After everything that went down, after seeing Orym throw that locket away with the remains of a man they’d all started to think of as a friend. After seeing him walk away and shut down and say with every bit of body language that he just wanted to be alone, whether or not it was truly what he needed. If you see me falling down, pick me up, Orym’s words from a few nights ago rang in their head. So Ashton tried.

And again, he failed. Words were no good here; all the words they could think of felt trite and condescending. So the next morning, after they’d all finished breakfast and Orym was trying to disappear again, Ashton did something that surprised even him, dropping to one knee and putting his arms around Orym. They’d accepted hugs from the halfling before, never given one. It felt nice. At least until Orym flexed his arms and shrugged his shoulders to slip free of Ashton’s grasp, muttering, “Don’t touch me.”

Ashton isn’t hurt, or angry. How could they be, as many times as they’ve expressed the same sentiment. He doesn’t think Orym’s angry, either. Not at him, at least. Maybe just at everything, and why shouldn’t he be? They haven’t seen that kind of anger in Orym before, that directionless rage bubbling up behind his eyes, but they sure as hell know it. Ashton just hopes they find somewhere for him to put it before it eats him up. They’ve long envied Orym’s calm, as much as it’s baffled them, and Ashton hates having to watch Orym, too, be hardened by circumstance.

He knows Ashton was just trying to help, and up until ten minutes ago he probably would have accepted it. Welcomed it, even. Now it just feels like a distraction. He’s let himself get so distracted, trying to focus on the biggest targets because the little people were victims, too. Trying to let someone else take the lead so the decision didn’t have to be his.

And a lot of them probably were victims; they’d been lied to, manipulated, their worst traumas used against them. But they had still made a choice. Liliana, Bor’dor, the man with the locket, they’d all decided to make someone pay for how their lives had gone, regardless of who actually wronged them or what the collateral damage might be.

He looks over at Ashton, who has as much or more reason to be angry than anyone on the other side, who doesn’t steal what people can’t afford to lose, who is gentle with people who are vulnerable, who has reached out to Orym time and again, not letting him retreat into himself, much as he might like to. All that rage, but they manage to save it for the people who deserve it. And if he can do it, the rest of them have no excuse. There’s no room for him to be quiet anymore.

Jrusar. The Spire by Fire. The place where it all started. Ashton wonders how they made it back there, from wherever they’d been the other day. Another archdruid? Well, assuming everything goes the way it’s supposed to, he supposes they’ll find out soon enough.

Ashton approaches Orym again, this time keeping a comfortable distance. “That thing you said about picking you up when you fall, I’m gonna assume you meant that and weren’t just saying it to get me off your back.”

“I meant it. I don’t need picking up right now.”

“I know you believe that. I know you’ll keep believing it unless someone reminds you that you don’t have to.”

“I don’t know what you can do that you’re not already doing. Because what I need is for this to be over.”

“Yeah, I hear that. But if you think of anything else between now and then, you can let me know. Because I’m gonna keep asking.” If that makes them the asshole that’s fine. It’s a role they’re used to playing.

read on ao3

#critical role #cr3 #ashton greymoore #orym of the air ashari #ashrym #cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #c3e63 #cr fic #my fic

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yukisohmasmokesweed · 3 months

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hii as someone w selective mutism, and after seeing your post regarding yuki being mute, i’ve had this question that wouldn’t leave my head: were kisa and yuki actually selectively mute or was it due to traumatic mutism or something else? maybe i’m just self-projecting, but despite us being mute for different reasons (it is possible to have SM from trauma, though it is rare), i always saw myself in both of them when it came to their muteness (i’m really sad yuki being mute was only touched on in kisa’s ep and then never brought up again) so their characters mean a lot to me. just thought I’d bring this up and ask since there isn’t any discussion surrounding this and from the posts that i’ve seen on here, people just seem to go w kisa having SM (and by extension yuki) and just say that it’s canon. being the projector that i am, i also assumed it was but still never thought it was “accurate” rep but then again, does it have to be? regardless of how it’s shown in the anime/manga, i think we’re all entitled to our own opinions on this, and that no matter what we think caused their mutism, all opinions r valid! i’m just so curious on what your take on this is since no one mentions anything like this in specific.

hello! funny you send me this ask today because i just rewatched the first ep of the reboot last night for the first time in a looooong time and have been thinking about fb all morning! as far as i understand it, selective mutism is an anxiety disorder that can definitely be triggered by trauma, and that is how i read yuki and kisa. i'm sure you have a deeper understanding of it than me as someone with that experience, but in my research on this (which admittedly was a few years ago) it seems there is a variety of reasons why children are selectively mute, one of them being abusive environments and a predisposition to anxiety disorders. i would absolutely argue that both yuki and kisa have intense social anxiety, even outside of their mutism; and that yuki, aside from diagnosing him with something, is a perfectionist, and perfectionism often stops people from doing things.

i was also really sad yuki's mutism was only touched upon, so i actually wrote a whole fic about it! i think this is an incredibly interesting aspect of yuki's character. yuki in childhood has no autonomy at all: his life is controlled by his mother, then akito, and akito does not listen to him (or anyone). the other zodiacs ignore him, and he becomes tokenized as the rat instead of viewed as an individual. very often, yuki shrinks into himself as a reaction to this. he already has to keep physical and emotional distance from his peers due to the curse, and his oppressive home environment pushes him to even more extremes. i think so much of yuki's mutism is a maladaptive acceptance that he will never be listened to and that what he feels or thinks does not matter, and so he sinks into a depression where one of his copes is silence. even after this episode, he continues to be softspoken and keeps his cards close to his chest—which is why i love his relationship with kakeru so much, because kakeru coaxes him out of his shell. after meeting kakeru, he begins expressing his opinion more candidly and becomes openly emotional in ways that are supported by kakeru's view of him as a human being. yuki spends so much of his life being objectified as either the rat or the prince (both similar roles where he is being held to an extremely high standard that is only an archetype and robs him of individuality and humanity) and he plays the roles that are assigned to him. it is only when he is shown true love and acceptance through tohru that he can begin to learn who he is outside of those perceived roles, and allows him to express himself as yuki in front of kakeru, who never bought into the prince thing to begin with.

i think the other thing about fruits basket is that it is very tropey, and selective mutism in the way it is portrayed in fb is very much a shojo trope moreso than it is a real portrayal of a disorder. i don't think natsuki takaya is "trauma informed" as we would call it now, as it was written 20 years ago inside of a culture that notoriously does not take mental health seriously. i think yuki and kisa's mutism is very much a narrative choice, so i definitely agree with you re: what you're saying about "accurate" rep. anyway thanks for the ask and your serendipitous timing! thinking about that rat boy <3

#takes a huge bong rip #yuki sohma #ask #anonymous #meta???#yuki

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shannankle · 5 months

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Shadow Meta Series: Technology, Time, and Horror

Okay, so I’ve spent the last week or so pouring over episodes 1-7 of Shadow looking at technology. I've also watching a few New Thai Cinema horror films and have been reading up on some big shifts that happened post 1997 in Thailand (hint: It's no accident the show is set in 1998/1999). Some things I think we’ll be able to dive in to much deeper on once we have the full show (just a few days more), but I thought I’d get some things down. I’m going to make this a series rather than one long post. But here’s a bit of my thinking!

On my first watch, it was pretty obvious that technology was being foregrounded through Josh. He constantly has the newest tech. My assumptions at this point were that technology was playing 3 roles:

A symbol of class differences

A potential Chekhov's gun whereby we learn something important about Trin or another part of the mystery through something Josh may have recorded

A way to root us in the time period

But a few things made me wonder if this was the full picture:

After writing my previous posts on narrative and art, I began wondering if there was any relationship between writing as a technology and the kind of tech Josh uses.

In having a conversation with some lovely folks over on discord, I realized it wasn’t just Josh using technology, at the very least Joe did too (and on doing a re-watch many others do too including brother Anurak)

I had a conversation with a friend about the aesthetic of Shadow. It came to my mind that it reminded me a lot of Ringu (1998), and since Ringu is ripe for thinking about technology in horror, I wanted to dig a little deeper. I kind of assumed this would end up being a "person whose only horror film is Ringu: Hey this reminds me of Ringu" moment. But it led me down some interesting research paths.

So in this series of posts I’m going to go into a few things:

Patterns I noticed of how different technology is being used in Shadow

How some of this connects to the Asian horror boom in the late 90s and early aughts, including within New Thai Cinema

How this ties into the importance of the show being set in 1998 within the context of a changing Thailand post the 1997 Asian financial crisis which reshaped many things including the framing around queerness

Note: I tried to take a broad definition of technology here. Not just cameras, computers, and phones, but also things like writing and art as human technology.

List of posts (I'll update as long as tumblr lets me):

*Note: Posts 1-3 were written before episodes 8-14 aired.

Post 1: Clocks and Masculinity in Shadow

Post 2: Trin, Technology, and Narrative

Post 3: Anurak and Old vs New Technology

Post 4: Clocks Part 2

Post 5: Anurak and Trin, Trauma and Power

#the first post will be up shortly just need to edit it #shadow #shadow the series #shadow the series meta #my posts #my meta

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magnetothemagnificent · 1 year

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Take Moonknight, for example. Part of his character is the fact that he was raised Jewish and has Jewish parents, because the intense antisemitism he and his family faced while he was a child is what led to him to him developing DID as a response to the continued trauma.

I’m assuming this is something that was changed from the comics, because I don’t remember this in the live action. But I really, really, really wish they kept it. It would’ve nice to see a stronger showing of his Jewishness, even if it’s not positive. I forgot he was even a Jewish character because the only time we really see it (IIRC) is at the funerals of his brother and mother. It also would’ve been nice to see how Steven coped with the realization that he was created bc of antisemitism instead of his mothers abuse. I might read the comments now just for this.

Oh yeah, when I'm talking about Marvel, assume I'm talking about the comics unless I specifically say "MCU". I would never talk about MCU's Moonknight adaptation in a positive light. MCU's Moonknight is a horrible character assassination and relies on antisemitic tropes of "abusive Jewish mother" and has a non-Jew (who thinks it's funny that he steals roles from Jews) play a Jew and throw a Kippah to the ground. In the comics, it was intense antisemitism during childhood that caused him to develop DID as a result of the trauma. You'll never hear me talking about MCU's Moonknight as good Jewish representation.

#marvel #moonknight #antisemitism

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luvielolol · 30 days

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What are the past beasts like in this AU? Role, personality, and relationship/thoughts with one another

I don’t exactly know how to answer this in character, so I’ll answer it myself!!

I haven’t really gotten far enough to make super deep headcanons about each of them, but I’ll just give a semi short summary methinks

Shadow Milk - Basically the nerd emoji . A less dramatic version of the future shadow milk in some aspects. he’s like if clotted cream and wizard cookie were one cookie .

Eternal Sugar - being the cookie of happiness, I want to think she was bubbly and cheery . It would make sense, since her corrupted self seems to be more lax and “slothful”. Probably likes song and dance, which PV also enjoys, so there might be something with that in pjbud someday ^_^

Mystic Flour - more calm and collected than the first two methinks . They probably are like Pastry cookie, being connected to the St. Pastry order . I think some religious trauma is probably in their character if you squint … less cold than pastry cookie tho I think. Given their soul jam is centered around volition, I think maybe they have more common sense than the other beasts.

Burning Spice - I haven’t played the triple cone cup so I don’t know much about capsaicin, but I’m gonna take a wild guess and say they’re similar. Since it holds the power of change, I kinda see it as a noble ruler. Like a king of sorts . Not as cocky, but still bringing about fresh new possibilities

Silent Salt - holding the light of solidarity, I’m guessing that he usually worked alone . Similar to mystic flour, definitely more calm and collected than the other three, while also having a softer side . Kinda like dark cacao maybe?

As for their relationship, it’s safe to assume they were as close as the ancient cookies we see in the story . While they have connections in their own kingdoms, the alliance and peace they brought was much alike what was seen in cookie odyssey. Maybe I’ll develop these kingdoms as time goes on? Not quite sure but it’s interesting to explore what happened before the corruption ^_^

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hellcheer-heaven · 11 months

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Thoughts on Hellcheer:

What I love about Hellcheer is that while technically it is a “good girl/bad boy” relationship, there was a chance for the show to break away from that formula. The “bad boy” is a huge dork with a good heart. The “good girl” has complexities to her.

What I will share here centers on the small amount of canon from the show. As well as headcanons and my opinions. Please feel free to check it out and agree/disagree as well. I’m open to listening to what you have to say as well.

Eddie Munson

When I went back and watched the forest scene between Eddie and Chrissy, he doesn’t try to demean or manipulate her.

He doesn’t try to make a whole speech explaining that he hurts her because he loves/wants to protect her.

Instead Eddie fake stabs himself in the heart and acts like a doofus on purpose because that’s who he is; and it makes Chrissy laugh.

An actual genuine laugh that she probably hasn’t made in quite a while; she smiles to the point where her nose and eyes crinkle up.

When Chrissy admits that she doesn’t remember who he is, Eddie plays around and is on a role with his comedic timing.

He never insults her or makes her feel bad for not recalling who he is (he redirects to himself, “I wouldn’t remember me either Chrissy!”).

When she does remember, the boy is absolutely ecstatic and she’s just as excited.

Even when he says, “You’re a freak,” it’s in a humorous manner.

I also like to think that if Vecna never went after Chrissy and she tried out the substance, Eddie would have stayed beside at her side the whole night.

Speaking to her about what was going to happen and holding her hand as it started to kick in.

While I don’t know how she would have reacted to the ketamine, I have a feeling Eddie would have never taken advantage of her in such a vulnerable state.

While he’s familiar with the effects, I think he would be really scared of how she’d react to the drug during and after it’s over.

He’d help her get better and regret what he’s done.

Even though she did ask for something stronger, Eddie would wish that he never gave anything to her.

Chrissy Cunningham

Regarding Chrissy’s “good girl” status, the show is really able to give us an idea as to who she is and what her life is like based on the hallucination scenes.

She’s someone that has experienced terrible trauma at the hands of her mother.

Constantly being demeaned and called awful names because her mother is controlling and she forces Chrissy to fit into a box based on harmful standards of beauty and femininity.

If the show gave Chrissy more time, we could have seen the way she acts around Laura: Standing up straight, being reminded to look into her eyes, ordered to speak louder, and constantly being reminded that as the eldest sibling she needs to set an example for her brother.

Yet as soon as guests arrive at the Cunningham home, Laura is completely different person: Warm, inviting, and welcoming to everyone.

Laura would be the kind of person that knows exactly which mask to put on when people are around vs. being surrounded by her family.

Assuming her mother is starkly religious, Chrissy could have also have religious trauma (maybe not to the point of what Margaret White does to Carrie, but still just as terrifying).

Chrissy was taught and forced from a young age to be a “good girl” based on her mother’s beliefs and to also avoid being abused.

She learned to listen and obey, to never raise her voice in anger or frustration, and to never stray away from the assigned path that has been laid out for her since childhood.

Chrissy’s smile is a mask that she wears to hide her pain, pain that she feels guilty for because her mother would gaslight her into believing that she’s selfish.

“You don’t know what real pain is Christine. You should be lucky that you have a roof over your head, clean clothes on your body, and food in the fridge.”

Chrissy’s whole perceived self isn’t just, “good” for the sake of “being good”, she’s someone who has to play that part for the sake of survival.

If given the chance we could have learned more about who she is, watch her make mistakes, learn from those mistakes, and see her grow.

I’d like to believe that she could have had a scene where she stands up to her mom and rightfully tell her to stop treating her so horribly.

That all her life she’s been made to feel awful for simply existing and that she’s had enough.

And perhaps even tell her dad that he was never there to stop the abuse.

When they’re together

They would still be a bit shy around each other, but those feelings would start to dissipate as they slowly become a little more comfortable.

There could have been scenes where they reminisce/wince over middle school.

There would definitely be more moments of “You’re not what I thought you’d be like” as they start to open up about themselves (at least what they’re comfortable talking about).

Typical things such as glancing at each other from down the hall, leaving notes in the other’s locker, and yes getting paired up for a project would have happened.

Eddie would have given his guitar pick necklace to her.

Chrissy would have given her green scrunchie to him.

He would start to open up about himself, telling her about his childhood and how difficult things were for him growing up.

She would talk about her life as well, which would surprise and anger Eddie that she’s been treated so cruelly.

He believed that coming from money meant having material possessions which in turn should have made her happy (it’s the 80s, remember “Greed is good.”).

All of the money in the world doesn’t mean much to her, sure the financial security is important, but there isn’t much love going on in that house.

Then you look at Eddie and how he doesn’t have much himself financially, but he’s rich in life thanks to Uncle Wayne, his friends, D&D, Hellfire Club, music, and his guitar.

Now having Chrissy in his life makes the world much more brighter.

Still that won’t pay the bills for the trailer, and who knows if Corroded Coffin will ever get discovered.

In a sense these two characters would be able to connect because they’re openly talking about their childhoods and their struggles.

In doing so they learn to truly see past what’s on the surface.

A friendship would blossom and perhaps something more.

Also Murray would have a blast shipping them together: “Hey I get it, couple of young high school sweethearts against the world.”

Chrissy and Eddie would fumble their words as they tell him that they’re not together.

The gears in Murray’s head would be turning faster: “Oh I see, Basketball Star Ken (Jason) is out of the picture. Looks like Cheerleader Barbie found herself a new boy toy: Trailer Trash Ken!”

Closing thoughts

Stranger Things could have really taken the “good girl/bad boy” couple and given us something really meaningful. We could have seen two characters that fit into their retrospective groups and watch as they break away from the mold of the “mean and scary” cheerleader and metal head. As much as I like to believe that they would have be a wonderful couple, they would have had their moments of anger and misunderstandings with each like most couples do. They would both learn to unlearn their preconceived notions about themselves, each other, and their affiliating groups. In the end, they would have been voted Hawkins’ most unlikely couple that actually made it work out.

#hellcheer #eddissy #munningham #eddie munson #chrissy x eddie #eddie x chrissy #chrissy cunningham #thoughts on hellcheer

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