#I’ve never felt happier at the growth

[cassandrablah]

Thinking about how Dean used to sleep on top of the covers fully clothed with his boots on and gun loaded underneath his pillow but now he sleeps in a full on nightgown with a silly little nightcap

#I’ve never felt happier at the growth #he’s so babygirl #sandra rambles #supernatural #dean winchester #s1 dean #s15 dean #he’s grown so much as a person

[luveline]

more spencerxpregnant bombshell reader please 😩😩💗 i love it sm

“I can’t believe we’re back here again,” you say, your breath turning to white puffs of fog in the brisk air. “I hate Alaska.”

“I can’t believe we’re so heavily wounded,” Hotch murmurs. 

You raise your brow, glancing at him from the corner of your eye. He wears a quarter-zip sweater fastened to the neck, his pale skin grey with the cold. He’s frowning, which isn’t unusual, but you can tell now the difference between his resting expression and true perturbance. 

“Right? When was the last time you had half a team?” you ask. 

“A long time ago.” He thinks on it for a moment before shaking his head, and straightening up. “I’m lucky you could come at all.” 

You hold your baby bump, the distension bigger than ever and your growth showing no signs of stopping. The baby moves often enough to have desensitised you, but anytime they stop you stop yourself and wait again with a racing heart. The baby’s wiggling now right above your ribs, it feels like.

“Is Spencer taking good care of you?” Hotch asks. 

You nudge him mildly. “Worried?” 

“Of course not. Watching you two has…” Hotch, so rarely lost for words, smiles and takes your shoulder into his hand. “I’ve never been happier for someone.” 

“You know I can still make him blush?” you ask with a smug smile. 

“That doesn’t surprise me.” His arm moves across your shoulders and then drops. “If this is getting too much, let me know. You know what’s most important now is your health and wellbeing.” 

“I’m a taken woman, sir.” 

“Enough,” he says, “I can send you home today, if you like.” 

Spencer and Emily come around the corner with two white bags hanging from their elbows. Spencer must catch the tail end of Hotch’s teasing, his mouth pinched with worry that quickly clears upon further investigation of your face. “You okay?” 

“Fine, just teasing.” Spencer steps into your space. “Hello?” 

He takes his scarf from his neck and wraps it around you, one gentle loop at a time. “Your breath is turning to liquid,” —he touches your cheek— “because the air is at dew point. Which means it’s super cold out and you still didn’t bring a scarf or hat.” 

“Imagine me in a bobble hat,” you laugh. “No, thanks.” 

He tucks the ends of the scarf into your coat and the loop of the scarf up over your chin. “You know the baby can feel the cold?” 

“What?” you ask, pulling the scarf up over your nose quickly. 

“Seriously. Not as much as you do,” he adds, sensing your worry, “but she can feel it.” 

You don’t know if the baby’s a she, just Spencer likes to think they are, and you don’t mind enough to correct him. You’ll both love whoever it is you have in the end, of course, and waiting’s half the fun. “You know what else they can feel?” you say. “Hunger.” 

He shows you the straining bag on his arm. “I know, dove,” he says quietly, a rare seriousness, a protectiveness about him that emerges more and more these days about him as he finds your hand. “Let’s go eat, okay? You should’ve had something hours ago.” 

“I felt sick.” 

“I know, I’m not blaming you.” He kisses your cheek. 

Spencer leads the charge back the way you came to the hotel. Hotch catches your eyes as you follow and sends you a look that’s equal parts fond, approving, and bemused. 

“I’m sick of walking,” you say. 

“I can’t carry you,” Spencer says. 

“Is it me, or does he actually sound heartbroken?” Emily asks Hotch under her breath. 

Spencer is actually heartbroken. You lean heavily on him so he can feel useful, and so you can finally have a breather. You make it look easy, but being pregnant is very, very hard. 

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction

[keenonkinkley]

The reason I love Tommy’s character is because I see so many peoples journeys in his, from who he was when he was still in the closet and scared to who he is now being open about his sexuality. I love seeing stories of growth especially when the characters are older because it does reflect real life in a lot of ways.

I’ve known that I was bi since I was 14 but I struggled to accept that for a while even though I had told people I was bi (thank you religious trauma) and there were so many times that I was so unkind to myself. I’m turning 24 and it was this year that I finally accepted myself fully, after a decade of wrestling with myself so I love Tommy’s growth and I love Buck’s journey where he’s finding that part of himself a little later in life. These are important stories to tell because they do happen and I could not be happier with the way that Oliver and Lou have brought them to life.

I think that's why I love kinkley so much. Both characters represent very real stories that we don't often see in mainstream media. I, personally, have cried to my friend multiple times about how this storyline makes me feel seen in a way I've never felt before. So seeing how much it positively affects me, and hearing how it positively affects others, I can't understand why people are trying to tear this ship down.

Also, I'm glad you've been able to accept yourself! I know how much of a struggle it can be to accept being queer in any form, but I hope you (and everyone) know that there's nothing wrong with it, despite what so many religions try to tell us.

#buck x tommy #bucktommy #evan buckley #kinkley #tevan #tommy kinard #tuck

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: Growth S5 vs. S6

Since 6x15 “Death and Taxes”, I’ve been trying to figure out why Buck’s growth in season 6 felt like it was unfinished but then I finally realized why it felt different when I compared it with Eddie’s growth from season 5.

Eddie’s growth started in season 5, it appeared to be linear and it continued through the beginning of season 6.  He was happier after he clawed his way back from the depths of a mental breakdown.

Shooting➡️Panic attacks (x3)➡️Breakup➡️Panic attack #4➡️Chris’ nightmare and his comment about Eddie possibly dying➡️Quitting the 118➡️Made to feel like an outcast at dispatch ➡️ Isolation ➡️Yelled at Bobby ➡️Therapy➡️Mental Breakdown➡️Buck asks what he was afraid of and he admitted he was afraid he was never going to feel normal again➡️ Return to therapy➡️Waited for a sign to return to the 118 and Linda told him God has spoken ➡️ Worked on being better for himself➡️Reconciliation with Ramon➡️Return to the 118 ➡️Happier Eddie at the beginning of season 6

His path to being better for himself is easily identifiable.

Buck’s growth was choppy and the audience NEVER saw how he progressed from one stage to the next so there’s no clear way to illustrate his progress unless question marks are included.

Wanted to be interim captain ❓Wants to be happy❓Read self-help books ❓Asked to be a sperm donor and he accepted❓Probably should have had a self-discovery journey to ask himself if he should have done this while considering his whole “defective parts” comment from season 4 but...❓He only talked to Hen about it❓He donated and stopped at nothing to do it❓He’s told there’s a baby on the way ➡️He tells his parents he’s a donor ➡️He gets struck by lightning and dies but he didn’t deal with it and he didn’t learn anything about himself in his coma dream especially since Bobby told him to STOP being concerned with the way people see him ❓He become distraught and searched for answers ❓Tried to process his death ❓Special math skills acquired and he was happy ➡️ Special skills disappeared and he was back to square one❓Met the death doula and she asked him out to discuss his death and she thought it was cool that he died❓He tells Eddie, “she sees me”❓Eddie asks what changed in him ➡️ He admitted he was different and pretending for everyone else’s sake❓He contacted the doula for a date and they went out but they kept getting interrupted ❓She left after learning he has a full life❓Kameron stayed in his loft which made him responsible for someone else’s wife❓The 118 was involved in a bridge collapse, he handled the rescue and exhibited some leadership qualities but nothing came of it❓He delivered Kameron’s and Connor’s baby and after a brief look at him with watery eyes, he let go and gave the baby to them ➡️ The doula says she likes him and he likes her too but they don’t know each other❓He assumes this new relationship (for the fourth time) is going to fix him and they decide to buy a couch together

Ok... so clearly there are differences between their growth but the biggest difference is Eddie’s growth appeared to be linear while Buck’s just wasn’t.  It was all over the place and the number of storylines he had going at one time didn’t help.  The audience didn’t see how Buck got from point A to point B but viewers were able to clearly see Eddie’s progress.

Hopefully season 7 will be better because these choppy storylines with no resolution was a HUGE PROBLEM for a lot of the mains in season 6.

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911onfox #911 fox #911 on fox #911 abc #911 meta #911 on abc #911 s6 #911 season 6 #911 season 6 speculation #911

[fitographia]

Stop trying to get back to who you were and embrace 🦋who you are now.

I feel like lately I’ve been mourning who I used to be because I’ve come to so many new realizations and uncoveries of who I am and why I operate the way I do. I’m looking at pieces 🧩 of myself I’ve never understood or acknowledged before.

I’m sure many can relate with the thoughts of:

“I was so much happier then”

“I wish I still looked how I did then”

“I wish I still felt like that”

“I wish I could *insert anything related to a past version of yourself*”

The truth is you may never get to relive those moments or be that person again, but that’s what makes life beautiful. 🌤️ You being able to differentiate who you were then vs. now shows a huge sign of growth. Your mind, soul, and body are forever changing.

You can’t go back. You can only go forward and hope to create something even more beautiful. 🤍 You can only appreciate the past and learn from it for a better future ahead. You can only do what you can today.

Embrace the stage you’re in, even if it’s difficult. 🌞 You don’t get better by judging, punishing, or continuing to hurt yourself. 🌅 In order to move forward you have to do the hard work to make the changes to get to where you really want to be and trust it’ll be better than anything you’ve ever had before.

📸Credit ig @gillgfitness

#fit #fitness #fitgirl #fitnessmodel #fitnesgirl #squat #squats #legs #leg #leg #legday #gym #glute #glutes #glutworkout #GymMotivation #gymrat #FitnessMotivation #glutegains #fitnesslife #bodybuilding #fitnessgirl #workout #gymworkout

#fitness #gym #workout #fitnessmotivation #fit #fitnessgirl #fitnessmodel #squats #fitnessaddict #beautiful

[goodbye-alchemy]

(Some Robin and Astarion lore hehe)

If you asked Astarion what his favorite things about Robin are, he’d give you a sly smile and mumble something about her body, maybe a praise for her battle prowess. But in truth, though he could never admit it, his very favorite thing about Robin was the way she described mushrooms.

Whilst traversing the Underdark early in their adventure, Astarion found himself driven to the point of madness at Robin’s incessant stopping and yapping about every species of fungal growth they encountered. It wasn’t like they were, oh I don’t know, infected with parasitic worms, threatening to turn them into illithid spawn at any moment.

On one particularly aggravating day, when Astarion had woken up from his trance on the wrong side of his bedroll, curls sitting incorrectly on his head, he finally burst. He approached Robin who was, unsurprisingly, hunched over a patch of mushrooms.

“Robin, I really must ask, why in the hells must you stop at every bloody dead pile of fungus in this godless Underdark?! I don’t know about you, but I am more than ready to reach Baldur’s Gate.” he huffed, hands balled into fists.

Robin, slightly startled at his outburst, looked up at him with a few mushrooms still clenched in her fist, eyes wide. For just a quick second, Astarion felt quite shit.

“Oh, Astarion… I apologize. I suppose I have gotten a bit carried away with the harvesting.” She tucked the stalks into her pouch. “I’m trying to collect them for my dad.” She stood up and brushed the soil off her knees. “I grew up hunting mushrooms with him here. Before he lost his sight, it was something our family did together in the spring.” Uh oh. Now he felt like a proper knob.

He blinked away the regret. “Well, while that is a sweet sentiment… we do have a destination in mind. Not sure if you remember those worms digging their way through our brains.” He said, driving a finger into his temple sarcastically.

Robin laughed. “How could I?... Would it be alright if I just grabbed a few more of these? They’re my dad’s favorite.” She looked at him eagerly, her eyes practically sparkling. If he could blush, he would be at this moment.

He cleared his throat and looked away. “Hm.. Well, I suppose it would be alright. Just don’t be long…” He looked down at her, already happily harvesting away, and felt compelled to ask. “What’s so special about those things anyway?”

She wiped her brow. “These are called Flamebors… in the East, they call them “huochong”.. fireflies. Want to see why?” She had a playful smile on her face, and Astarion was just the slightest bit nervous. He uncrossed his arms and walked over cautiously.

She looked down at her hands and pressed her palms together, crushing the golden mushrooms thoroughly. When she opened them, what looked like thousands of floating embers drifted into the sky, illuminating the air around them, followed by the sound of sizzling. They were so bright it was nearly blinding, but Astarion couldn’t bear to look away. His mouth gaped open as he watched the lights, seemingly alive, rise to their freedom. “Wow…” he whispered, involuntarily. To think, such radiance grew in the dank Underdark.

“That is the same reaction I had when my dad first did that for us, my sister and I.” She smiled up at the lights. “My dad can’t see much of anything anymore… But in the pitch black, if I set these off, he swears it looks just as beautiful as it did when we were children…I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than I was then.”

Astarion blinked and suddenly felt the overwhelming need to look down at her, illuminated by the lights still waltzing above them. Her eyes were shining and brimming with tears, a dazzling smile on her face as she thought longingly of her family. She must miss them dearly. He had a memory of what that felt like, once.

He had forgotten what it felt like to miss someone, to yearn for someone… but he was starting to remember.

He’d never admit it, but this moment was the first of many where Astarion saw Robin as more than his ticket to being Cazador and tadpole-free. Something about how she described her joy, felt like it was pouring its way into the dark chasm he had been digging within himself for centuries, threatening to wake up his dead heart. Was it finally safe, finally alright, for him to enjoy things such as this without the fear of what lay behind him? His eyes reflected those lights that day, and they, in turn, carried him away with them, high above reach.

For the rest of their journey, it was Astarion who would stop at the mushroom patches, asking Robin to show him which was which, just so he could hear her speak. And he would listen intently, feeling every word take him far away from the world that had frightened him for so long.

#bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #headcanon #fanfic #tav #astarion #astarion ancunin #robin x astarion #i love her so bad

[evakuality]

4 years of Druck s3 - week 5

Things of note in this episode:

1.  It’s sad boy time again but even worse this time because it’s not about apathy.  This time it’s about Matteo having moved out of that apathy and now finding himself with the devastating effects of genuine heartbreak.  The ending of this episode always makes me so sad.  Plus, the culmination of Matteo’s ‘throwing things when he’s angry/upset’ phase is this loss of his phone after it gives him the bad news.  It’s been such a symbol of his connection to others (vis his social media etc), however tenuous, and so now that it’s gone even that tiny (and not always genuine) connection is gone.  It’s no wonder that he isolates so fully after this.

2.  The words in this song are so relevant and it gets me every single time: ‘with your hands you kept the real world outside’ - that’s been literally true this whole time.  They have lived in a fake fantasy world but now David has pulled himself out of it and now Matteo has to face the real world of actual pain and heartbreak and it’s devastating to him.  I mean, it’s necessary for his growth.  In terms of his progression, being out of the apathy can only be good, but it sure as hell hurts right now.

3.  While in general I don’t find Hans’ version of this speech to be as powerful as Eskild’s (Eskild just really nailed everything about it), I do find this little moment here to be very impactful.  Hans is so close to him, getting right up in his space as he explains just how Matteo’s words come across and it’s very uncomfortable for both Matteo and the audience.  This has been a trick used by the production over and over again this season.  Often when someone is making Matteo uncomfortable (often Sara but occasionally others - eg Amira in the last episode), the camera dives in very close and even puts that character very close to him.  For someone who is isolating himself and trying to keep a distance it’s very difficult having someone so close up in on him.  In some cases, it feels like this is ‘the real world’ intruding and he’s getting dangerously close to being ‘seen’ and ‘known’ which he doesn’t really want except for with David.  Which is presumably why the camera never does that when David is around.

4.  The whole bit with Sara is very well done.  Is this the best way to handle things? (sending a text message?) no probably not - Sara has proven over and over again that she’s not one to do things at a distance; she wants the face to face interactions and she wants him to be open with her.  She literally told him that.  So of course it makes sense that she confronts him.  As hard as it might have been for him, doing it face to face given the type of person that she is would have been a better idea.  But he’s Matteo and avoidant and so he tried to do it painlessly and it backfired.  Of course, we then see him do literally the same thing to David just a couple of clips later (going to confront him after getting a break up text) with about as much success as she had.  It’s things like this that bring home just how similar he and Sara actually are and it’s part of why I think he recognises their connection in episode 7 and goes to see her.

OK, so that was all a bit bleak (obviously - this is the start of the bleak episodes after all) but we all need a bit of happiness in our lives so here, have some shots of the happier stuff at the start:

Just looking at the lighting - it’s so obvious how light and bright things felt at the start compared to how it ended up.  That has always been one of the things I’ve loved about Druck - how they use lighting to signal their characters’ feelings, but not in an obnoxious way.  The lighting always feels natural for the environments and yet they choose carefully to make sure it reflects feelings.

#druck #og druck #anniversary rewatch

[mo-elizabeth]

Super real and transparent post. Tw: DV, SH

After being quiet for so long, I’m finally done.

Getting into a relationship is hard when you’re dealing with depression, anxiety and self harm. You can become dependent on that person to bring you happiness. But what you aren’t expecting with that happiness when you’ve been dealing with sadness for so long, is physical and emotional abuse.

I’ll never forget the first time I was pushed down to the ground or was told “go ahead cut yourself” or grabbed so hard I had bruises all along my wrist or the time you punched me as hard as you could on my leg. I was so depressed that I thought the the small amount of happiness I was feeling was worth the abuse because I hadn’t felt that happiness in so long. I’ll never forget the constant thought that I’m not good enough. The constant thought that what I went through isn’t as bad as what other people go through. The constant thought that “was it really domestic abuse if it didn’t happen often or I wasn’t being beaten to death.” The thought that I’ll never be good enough for anyone but you. The thought that no one will be able to handle my anxiety or depression.

But I’m tired of thinking all those things. I’ve grown so much and am finally starting to be happy and realize I have a life without you. Realizing I’m so much more happier than I was when I was with you. Realizing I have my own brain and can think things for myself. Realizing I don’t have to depend on anyone for my happiness. Realizing there are people out there who treat me with the respect that I deserve, who don’t raise their voice at me or bring their anger out on me.

This is growth and although it’s been super rough and still is, I’m growing into myself and learning who I am. I am so proud of myself for finally leaving that 7 year relationship a year ago and for realizing everything I have without you.

#mypost

[umichenginabroad]

Madrid Week 4: the rhythm of the night

Holaaaaa otra vez!! Niko here again, back with another blog for week 4 of studying abroad in Madrid! This week marked my official first month in the city, which means that I’m 1 month down of 3.5 (or 2/9ths of the way through). I wonder how my perspective of the city and life here will have changed by the 4/9 point, by 8/9 point, and when I’m finally gone. I guess we’ll both have to wait to find out ;).

This week, February 13th, was my birthday. I turned 21 years old — which is a pretttty big deal in the United States. 21 is like the final frontier of birthdays. After that, anything (except for renting a car, for some reason) (and also running for president) is possible. Order a beer? Done. Get into a club? No problem. Is it weird to me that we can join the military before those things? Yes, but I don’t know enough about the prohibition era to make a substantial claim on the laws we have in the USA.

Being that it was a Tuesday and I wasn’t quite in the partying mood, I went out for a nice dinner with a friend and bought myself churros for the walk home -- perfect birthday tbh. However, an American in America turning 21 will typically go out, buy alcohol legally, get into some bars with their actual ID (maybe Rick’s for my UMich people, which is finally on-limits :0 ), and likely get very very drunk with their friends. In Spain, that doesn’t happen for 21 year olds — or 18 year olds, for that matter.

I think that the basic differences in drinking culture between the USA and Europe are somewhat well known. To generalize: binge drinking is much less common in Europe; people may drink more but pace themselves out over the course of many hours; people start partying late and stay out much later. However, living in Spain and experiencing the nightlife firsthand has given me a new understanding of this culture — and I’ve found that it’s a rhythm I really enjoy.

An Aside on Work-life Balance

In Madrid, the people place a lot of value on social life — which lasts throughout adulthood. I think that in the United States, social life ends up giving way to work for many adults as they get older and their career becomes more demanding. In Spain, people subscribe moreso to the ideal of “working to live” instead of “living to work”.

This is a generalization, but I think it’s a fair one to make in comparison to the culture of the USA. This perspective may be a product of the bubble I live in as a student studying abroad, but the "competitive, always-searching-for-the-next-opportunity, never-staying-complacent (satisfied?)-with-your-current-position" vibe is something I have not yet felt or witnessed here. I think that difference can be explained in part by the USA's strong capitalistic nature (and Europe's slightly more socialist environment), but I'm no expert ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

I don’t think that I want to subscribe fully to either ideal.

I don’t want my work to be my life. I think that I value a lot of things higher than money — relationships, new experiences, personal growth — and that's where I want to focus. However, working is an unavoidable part of life for (almost) everyone. I think that treating the idea of work as a career — something to be developed, something to find passion in, something that adds to your life instead of taking away from it — will enable me to live a happier life. And, to become truly satisfied in my career, I’m gonna have to put in that effort.

I think that the key to maintaining a healthy relationship towards work is deriving that hard-work mentality from within, instead of from the pressure of outside influences (living up to expectations, competition with others, greed, etc). In this way, achievements will be something I can be proud of myself for -- especially because I did those things in alignment with my own contentment and happiness. Admittedly, this conclusion is spoken from my "very wise" position of having had only 1 full time internship and a few part time service jobs, but this is where I'm at with my experience pursuing a college degree. Guess we'll see how it turns out down the road.

Nightlife

Anyways, back to partying in Madrid. House parties don’t really exist like the do in the USA, or frankly, at all. This is partly because there’s an ordinance that prohibits loud noises indoors at night, and partly because there’s no need for them — there’s a seemingly infinite amount of bars and clubs to go to, on every night of the week (yes, including Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday). 

First, you’ll have dinner, shared with a group of friends and never earlier than 8pm — usually closer to 10pm. Pregames (previas) might happen at someone’s apartment, they might happen on the street, either on the way to the club or in a group just chilling (botellon). In general, (especially with young people), as much alcohol as possible is consumed outside of the club, for economical reasons. A beer bought at the corner store is half the price and twice the size than at the bar. The streets in Madrid, especially on the weekend, are always lively. Simply walking around popular areas is an energizing feeling.

If you’re going out dancing to a club, you might also hit a few bars beforehand, which are more commonly frequented a bit earlier in the night - 12am ish is peak.

Like I mentioned previously, things also start late. A club will not be in full swing until 3am. If you arrive to a club at 12 (which is when most of them open), you’ll be dancing alone on the floor. This is in stark contrast to the USA, where at 3am, you might be dancing alone because everyone else has already gone home. Things will start to wind down around 5am on weekends, and a dedicated group will still be around at 6am when the lights turn on to kick everybody out.

Personally, I love this rhythm. Starting so late, you get a full day in beforehand — and much more time with friends spent during the night. Drinks are consumed slowly, and far fewer will end up on the toilet at the end of the evening. Things feel more relaxed, less like we're on a time crunch — probably because there’s simply more time to party.

I’ve only got one big qualm in comparison to the USA — sleep. If you’re out until 6am on Saturday, you’re probably sleeping until 3pm at the earliest. Which kind of throws off your Sunday. If you were looking to grab brunch, or god forbid be productive, forget it. But maybe, a loss of productivity isn't such a big deal. I would love to hear from you all what you feel about the work/productivity culture in the USA, and how you perceive (or have experienced) it in different cultures.

So, needless to say, I have been partying a good amount, and I think I’ve been doing so in a pretty authentically Spanish way. I’ll spare details on my escapades, but I’ll include some pictures (along with some more in depth descriptions) that may give a little insight into the ~vibes~. I’m a big fan of electronic music, and Madrid’s scene for that is vast.

For anyone reading this that’s going to Madrid sometime soon — either for studying abroad, vacation, or whatever else — I’ve been putting together this list of all the nightlife sites I’ve gone to, with little descriptions on my thoughts accompanying each one. I hope it serves at least a few people well, and spares them the work of finding the places that are a little less obvious to non-natives.

Hope everyone has a fantastic week! :)

Hasta luego,

Niko Economos

Aerospace Engineering

Universidad Carlos III de Madrid

Madrid, Spain

#UmichEnginAbroad #IPEUC3M #NikoEconomos #IPEWinter24 #Spain

[mrs-kelly]

When I started 2022 things were not in a good place for me. They were looking up a bit, sure, but in the moment? I was in the dregs. I was struggling hard. Battling with obsessive thoughts and low self worth and feeling like nobody really saw me. You know? I feel like those are all things a lot of people deal with. But I still felt alone in them.

My goal for the year was to find a way to just feel normal. If I couldn’t move forward, I would stop taking steps backward. I wanted to find some way to just feel okay with myself. And maybe someday, I could actually start to love myself.

I’ve been so lucky this year to find coping strategies and mechanisms to help me reach that goal. And I’ve been even luckier to find interests and hobbies that have actually helped me surpass it. I never thought I’d reach a point where I liked myself this much. Especially within the year.

But while so much of my growth happened slowly over the first 10 months of the year, Charlie is the one who really pushed me into actually liking myself. I got myself to neutrality, and then he came around and shoved me into self acceptance. At any cost. To the pain.

I can’t even say what about him made it happen, but being with Charlie immediately made me value the things that make me special, and the things that make me happy. Being with him made me realize that I don’t deserve to just be tolerated, I deserve to be celebrated. I deserve to be treated with as much excitement and wonder by people in my life as I treat others. And I deserve to give myself the things that will make me happy and successful.

Since Charlie and I got together, I’ve been on a freight train of recovery and growth. He made me feel like I have what it takes to go to school. He made me feel confident enough to get my haircut and dress the way I want. He made me feel like it’s okay to speak my mind. Which is a huge one for me. And all of it has made me so much happier!

I feel like a person again. Like an actual person who has an active role in my own life. I feel like I have so much to look forward to, so many things I want to see and do. And it’s all because of Charlie and the way he loves me. There’s something about him that just makes me believe that he will always accept and love me. And even when I doubt that, there’s some part of me that knows he is always going to be here. With me.

And that’s changed my life. Charlie has really changed my life for the better. In such a short time, he’s made me feel like myself, for the first time since I can remember. Like I don’t have to hide anymore. Like I can be myself, and love myself, and anyone who doesn’t like it can shove off. And that’s huge for me.

So, with this thousandth post in Charlie’s tag, I’m looking forward to 2023 and everything else I can accomplish with Charlie by my side ❤️ I know there’s only better and better to come ❤️

#CRIES AND CRIES HES DONE SO MUCH FOR ME OK ❤️ #I’m so excited to finish off the year with him… #the end of 2022 and the beginning of the rest of our lives together 🥰 #ren speaks #renlie #im gushing out here folks #new years’ cw #idk if some people don’t rly like the new years retrospective thing? I’ll just tag it jic

[aveegrex]

I’ve recently exited a very close yet just as unhealthy platonic relationship. Me and this guy never labelled each other as anything but friends, but it was a very special sort of friendship for me. Something extremely intimate.

Yet I don’t think I was appreciated as much as I used to appreciate. He would lash out on me anytime he felt insecure or just sad (oh how closely he connected sadness and anger). He would spew the most heinous shit my way when something didn’t go his way. He was manipulative, abusive and toxic. He used to trauma dump on me any given chance, and sometimes used me as a tool of self-harm.

Yes, I think I should have ended things sooner. After he told me he literally collects ‘dirt’ on everyone around just in case. After he gets wished death upon me when trying to prove that he has a full right to steal art from independent artists since he grew up relatively poor.

I had to end things after he used so many of my insecurities to force me into doing things I hated, but I didn’t.

I didn’t, because it was too hard to cut off someone who shared so many of my interests. Who seemed to genuinely care when I told him about my troubles. Who I could talk to for hours on end.

I didn’t cut him off soon enough, and I regret it so much. Because I’m now 23 and I feel like I’ve wasted 2,5 years of my life on someone who didn’t deserve a minute of my time. Because I feel like I wasted the opportunity to make better friends with someone, well, better. Not toxic. Not abusive. Not a fucking manchild who’d spiral into the darkest fucking violence every time he was told no.

And I feel like I have no chance to make better friends now because everyone I’d love to befriend is already ‘taken’. I know it’s probably so not true but this thought is very hard to expel.

I hate the fact that for the past 2,5 years I could have been much happier, much more energetic human being. That I could have focused on personal growth and making better connections and having much better time and living my own life the way I wanted it. Not spending countless nights subject to narcissistic abuse.

And I hate the fact that now I can’t get this voracious thought out of my head. The one that keeps telling me that no one better can love me. That I do not deserve love that doesn’t come with pain. That I am unloveable and should just give up on the thought that someone might genuinely like me and love me for who I am, who’d love me the same love that I would love them.

I hate my abuser for he wasted my precious time, for he plagued my mind and for he left me drained.

One day, I’m going to write the hell out of this, but for now, I just need to not waste any more time and find myself.

#aveegrex personal #narcissistic people #narcissistic abuse #platonic abusive relationships #narcissistic relationship #abusive relationship #abusive friendship #toxic ex #toxic frienship

[elysian18]

Body image struggle

Sometimes we get very self conscious of our bodies. As someone who has an eating disorder and body dysmorphia, I know I definitely struggle with confidence. Some days I feel worse than others and other days I am okay with myself. It's so sad that young beautiful girls feel so bad about how they look, whether that be too skinny, too big, too short, too tall, or they just hate different features that they have. These days it's getting to a point where most girls will experience this at least once while they are in school. I mean that's when I developed my eating disorder. I’ve always been on the bigger side, and I stopped growing in 3rd grade because my pituitary gland decided it didn't want to tell my body to produce growth hormone anymore. I started growing out more then up. I was bullied for being short and chubby, and after a while, I started to notice how the other girls looked. They were developing in the chest, having growth spurts, getting their periods, etc. I didn't understand why it wasn't happening to me. I especially started to notice when boys didn't like me the same way they liked other girls. It didn't really start getting bad until high school though. Junior year was really difficult, I was struggling with depression, forcing myself not to eat, participating in self-harm, and was bulimic. I was a such a low point, and then my parents found out about everything. I was sent to a psychiatrist and I started to feel better. I still felt really bad about my body but I knew I couldn't go back to my old ways, so I didn’t. I changed my perspective. I started eating better, working out, and taking care of myself. I can honestly say that I had never felt better, I was happier, healthier, and felt stronger. To this day I still try my best to be healthy. I still feel bad every once in a while until I remember everything I went through to get to this point. 

So if you are struggling just like I did remember this, I know it seems so dark right now, like you arn’t ever going to get out but trust me, you will. You are so much stronger than you think and if you need it, don't be afraid to ask for help. Let me know if you have any questions, I would be more than happy to talk to anyone that wants or needs to. 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕠 𝕓𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕗𝕦𝕝, 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦!!!

❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍

#metanoia #elysian #love yourselves #love you guys #body positive #body dismorphic disorder #body dismorphia #body disphoria #body discomfort #body diversity #disordered eating mention #b1nge eating #tw eating issues #it's not as simple as just eating #bing3 eating #self improvement #tw self destruction #self growth #healthy #healthy lifestyle #healthy eating #nutrition #exercise #healthy food

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y’know thinking about my emo kid self, there’s such a difference in me in 2022/nearly 2023 at 27, where i can finally sing along to songs like therapy and remembering sunday by all time low, when it rains by paramore, the day i left the womb by (old school) escape the fate literally basically every mayday parade song ever, but most particularly i swear this time i mean it and a little bit of truth by you me at six… etc etc et al et al…. in the shower without choking back tears while sliding down the side of the shower.

like the day that i just started randomly singing therapy by atl and the day i left the womb by etf, for example, in the shower in like 2017 after not listening to them for a few years, bc both songs were randomly just stuck in my head…..

i knew i was feeling much better than i was at 15/16 in 2011, when i was going through my teen mental breakdown phase. i WAS screaming and choking out the lyrics to therapy and sick little games (along with the other songs mentioned above) in the shower in tears on the floor….. because i just fucking hated my life so much (lol, but not lol) and i thought i’d never leave my hometown (ok this is true and it’s fine) and it was also fucking shit because i couldn’t decide if i was depressed or not or anxious or not or i was just a big fucking fake *cue i’m a fake by the used here* and i wasn’t emo anymore and i had to be indie to sit with *echosmith voice* ~the cool kids~ when i changed schools.

like yeah. don’t get me wrong. there are times when the songs mentioned in this post make me cry (usually on my period tbh. lmao sorry for the tired joke)- like when the song/s really decides to hit me/i’ve actively looked them up on YT or spotify so i can have a good cry lol. but now i can sing these songs at any time without having an absolute snotty cry fest during any shower/bath i decide to sing these in. or just generally. like getting older rocks, in some aspects, and this is one of them.

because the songs that got you through what you thought at the time were your hardest times yet- you’ve got a huge storm coming in your mid20s, teen me- these songs will be your light instead of the pain, the utter angst and self-loathing you felt towards yourself on a daily basis as a teenager. yeah where’s that corny ass tumblr quote i used to post every fucking day of my life at 19- we all know it. but it really is. and yeah, there’s the thing that these songs are still emotional as all fuck, i still love them to this day. but i’m just not crying to them as much anymore. y’know what i mean??

anyway idek where this post was going. but growth is good and every current emo kid should know that it does get better. for the love of god it does. hang in there kids. because one day you’ll be 27, and whatever mid2000s or late 2010s emo song you’ve got on blast right now, because tiktok has been having a moment with them over the last couple of years…. will be a source of joy and not a source of self loathing and reason to cry every night in the shower. anyway. my point is, you won’t be “outdated, overrated” and you can still be “a dreamer for sure”- to quote the mayday parade song i mentioned earlier. you’ll just be a newer, hopefully happier, you. even when you’re “at bottom of the blackest hole” and want to “sleep enough to not see the sun anymore”. and that’s all you need.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #my little emo heart #my little emo soul #my little scene kid heart #my little scene kid soul #my little pop punk heart #my little pop punk soul

[shadow-whisperer152]

Father’s Day (Chapter 6)

(I’ve totally forgotten to update this fic on Tumblr as well as AO3 so here we are!)

(Chapter 5)

And so it became a routine. After that first day, Virgil began to make scheduled trips up to the Light Side. He would rattle things up, get his two bits into whatever conflict they were attempting to solve that day, then hurry back down to the Dark Side to tell his family all about it. They would sit around the dinner table, just the three of them, and listen to his stories of the day. They would laugh and mock the Light Sides’ behavior, their reactions to Virgil’s input, and how pathetic they seemed in the grand scheme of things. Virgil had never felt happier as he did seeing the smiling, proud faces of his father and brother figures as he recounted his adventures. He finally felt like he was contributing to their growth, to Thomas’ growth. He wasn’t just sitting in the sidelines anymore; now he was a fully-fledged part of Thomas’ conscious mind, and he would continue to work hard to protect their host. After dinner they would all pile onto the couch and watch a movie, or play a game on the coffee table. This was the most important part of the day. Even though Virgil was doing well, they still had to keep in mind the true nature of the Light Sides, and every evening that Virgil returned home to them was a blessing. Janus never once stopped repeating it, reminding them all of how lucky they truly were to be together every night, and the others took it very seriously as well. After all they had been through, nights where they could spend time as a family seemed like a fragile web, just waiting for the rain to inevitably come and sweep it all away. 

They never could have guessed in a million years that said rain would come from their very own stormcloud. 

Virgil would like to say that he was unchanged. That the trips up to the Light Side hadn’t had any effect on him, and that he would forever remain the same side he had always been. He’d like to believe that his cold, firm demeanor was as sturdy as his relationship with his family, and that being in a place so different from his home had not softened him in the slightest. These were all things Virgil wished he could assert to himself and continue to demonstrate to the other Dark Sides. 

Except.

Except that wouldn’t be exactly true. He was still Virgil, don’t get him wrong. It was just…..well, it was very different up there. At first he’d felt the lights were too bright and the heat was drowning him and the smells were overwhelming and the voices too loud. Yet the more he went up there, to that false paradise the Light Sides had created, the more his perspective began to change. Virgil wished he could say when it happened, or how it happened (more specifically how he could allow something like this to happen), but those answers continued to escape him. Because one day he realized that the Light Side wasn’t too bright, it was the Dark Side that was too dark. It wasn’t so hot it was melting his skin, but rather his home was so cold it made him feel numb. The smells weren’t attacking him, but rather their air seemed too empty. And the voices? They weren’t too loud; instead, every time he returned to his family, it felt as though the silence was deafening him. It got to a point where he couldn’t deny it, no matter how hard he tried: Virgil didn’t want to be a Dark Side anymore, not if it meant he had to come back to this pit for the rest of his life. 

Of course, he could never say any of this to Remus or Janus. Just the thought of their faces if he ever admitted this stuff to them was enough to put him on the verge of a panic attack. But he couldn’t help spending a little more time with the Light Sides. Just a few more minutes after they’d finished with the day’s discussions. But after the whole “ducking out incident” (during which neither Remus nor Janus had been able to coax him out of his room) those minutes turned to hours, and those hours piled up, and soon enough he was spending every waking moment up there. He’d get up, get ready for the day, and with barely a wave and a “good morning” to his family he’d leave for the Light Side. There he’d have breakfast and spend the rest of the day with them, be it solving Thomas’s dilemmas or just chilling out. In the evenings he’d have dinner and quietly slink back down to the Dark Side, avoiding Remus and Janus as he slipped into his room to sleep. He knew that sooner or later they would start asking questions, but he couldn’t help it. Virgil would talk to the others about it…..soon. A few more days wouldn’t hurt.

Janus was worried. No, scratch that. Janus was scared. He’d never admit it to his family, but every night he was finding it harder and harder to fall asleep. He’d spend hours tossing and turning in bed, hoping that the dark thoughts swirling through his head wouldn’t alert Remus, or that his anxiety wouldn’t unsettle Virgil. As much as he wrestled with the truth, he couldn’t lie his way out of this one: Janus was losing Virgil. Simple as that. Virgil may think he was being convincing in saying that all his frequent and long trips to the Light Side were merely for “gathering information”, but Janus was a master of lies. Not only could he taste a lie a mile away, but he’d raised Virgil from his manifestation. He knew everything about him, from his wants and his fears to his tells and his habits. Watching Virgil these last few weeks had only confirmed his suspicions. Virgil was happier. Happier than he’d ever seen him. He seemed to glow with a new energy, an energy which was snuffed out when he thought he was being watched by his family. He’d run off every day, staying longer and longer, spending time with them less and less. Janus had done everything to warn his sons of the cruelty he’d experienced, and now his greatest fear had come true: his son had fallen victim to their manipulations, blinded by bright lights and glittery smiles. Janus didn’t want to ruin his son’s happiness, but what choice did he have? Sooner or later the Light Sides would show their true, primal natures, just as they’d done with him, and his little spiderling would be caught in the crossfire. It was time Janus did something about it, before it was too late. 

When Virgil arrived back at the Dark Side after another day solving Thomas’ issues, he wasn’t expecting to see Janus sitting in his armchair. The lamp was on, and even though it was fairly late he was still dressed in his daily attire. Janus put his book on the side table when he popped in. 

“Good evening Virgil. How was your day?” He asked casually, ironing out his pant leg with his hand in an almost dismissive manner. Virgil’s eyes narrowed a little; Janus hated staying up late, and clearly he’d been here waiting for some time. 

“It was fine.” He shrugged. “Pat- I mean, Morality did his usual cry baby routine. Took a while to get under control.” Technically this wasn’t a lie. Patton had cried, but only because they’d seen a kitten on the street and Logan hadn’t let him bring it home. Janus, however, didn’t seem convinced.

“Very well. I know it’s quite late, but I was wondering if I could have a talk with you. It’s rather important, but I will be brief.” He gestured to the couch. “Sit.” 

Virgil did as he was told, his nerves beginning to start up. He was used to his father-figure’s ‘talks’ by now, but this one seemed different. Janus actually seemed nervous too, with the way he fiddled with the tips of his gloves as he watched him take a seat. Virgil was always at least a little on edge, but Janus? He was basically the King of Collected. Seeing him falter, even a tiny bit, was a red flag that Virgil had not been expecting tonight. “So, what’s up?” He tried to ask nonchalantly, hands slipping into his sleeves. 

“I know I’m not known for my honesty.” Janus began. “But trust that I’m being true with you when I say that…..I’m worried about you, Virge.”

Virgil tried not to look too shocked, but didn’t feel like he was being effective. Janus…..was worried about him? And by the looks of it this was real, true worry. How had Virgil not felt it before, the anxiety buzzing beneath his caretaker’s skin? It was obvious now that he was looking for it. When had he stopped looking? When had he stopped paying attention? 

Janus cleared his throat after a beat of silence. “I’m worried because I’ve noticed that you’re spending an awful lot of time up there, with the……others.” He raised a hand when Virgil tried to deny it. “Now, now. I may be half-blind, but I can still read the clock. You spend so much time up there, and barely even talk to us down here. I’m afraid that they’re getting to you.” 

Virgil had been trying to recover from this very out-of-character display of sincerity, but that last bit had brought him back to the present. “Getting to me? What does that even mean?” 

“Those Sides are masters of manipulation, Virgil. They mould you with feelings, logic, and fantasies until you can’t tell the difference between what part of your thoughts are yours and what part is really them. I fear that they’re getting into your head, especially with all the exposure you have with them every day.” He leaned forward some. “Am I right in my fears?”

Virgil shook his head some. “Wait wait wait. You think they’re manipulating me?” His eyes were wide. After everything that they’d been through, he didn’t trust him enough to know if he was being controlled? He’d wished that this point would cause him more outrage, but it was overshadowed by another thought: You’re wrong. They’re not like that! They would never manipulate me, they care about me!

There was silence, and when Virgil looked up he wasn’t expecting the look of surprise and worry on Janus’ face. “Do you really mean that, Virgil?” The purple side gulped. Shit, he’d said that out loud!?

“Y-Yes.” He managed. “I do. They’re different now, Jan. Even if they were like that at some point, they are certainly not like that with me. Trust me, we don’t have to be afraid of them anymore!”

“Oh, Virgil. I thought you were smarter than this.” Janus sighed, his brow furrowing. “They’ve corrupted your mind, my spiderling. The only solution that I can think of is for you to stop going up there.” 

Virgil frowned, beginning to get angry. “I’m not a kid anymore Dad! I’m an adult, just like you, just like everyone else! Stop treating me like I’m stupid! I’m not being manipulated, don’t you think I’d be able to tell? They are kind and caring and generous, and all these stories you’ve been feeding us are wrong!” He paused, eyes widening. “Have….have you been lying to us all this time? To keep us here?”

Janus shook his head. “Of course not! That’s preposterous!” He exclaimed. “I would never lie to you like that.”

“Yes, you have! You told me they’d hate me, but they only hated me because I was the one who was being antagonistic! You once said that I’m our greatest weapon. Have you been keeping me here as a fucking tool to use whenever you want?!” Virgil began to spiral, negative thoughts swirling through his head as a dark cloud manifested above them. “The others were right! You’re just a lying snake!”

Janus gasped, eyes wide. “Virgil, how dare you! I haven’t lied to you! Those Sides are monsters! Beasts! They will take advantage of you, just like they did to me! We’re different from them, and they’ll hurt you for it!” 

“No they won’t! You know why?! Because I’m not a freak like you!” He stood up. “I won’t let you keep making me feel like I’m different, like I’m a monster! Like I’d never be wanted! The only monster here is you!” Virgil ran off to his room, slamming his door shut. 

Janus sat alone, feeling his heart break into pieces. It seemed that even his own son couldn’t see past his function, past his face. After all these years, maybe he had exaggerated his experience with the Sides, but only a little. His fear of them was real, and now his fear was only growing at the thought of losing his son to them. Janus sighed, sinking out and rising in his bedroom. He’d talk to Virgil in the morning, when he’d calmed down. Right now he was too worked up to be reasoned with. (He didn’t want to admit that if he saw his son again tonight, with that expression of loathing and betrayal, he’d discorporate.) Janus took off his clothes and curled into bed, but not before readjusting the blanket over his mirror. He couldn’t bear to see his face, not tonight. With a soft hiccup and a suppressed whine, Janus closed his eyes to sleep. 

He awoke to Remus banging on his door. “Jannie! You better get your snittes out here and see this!” Janus groaned, getting up and throwing on his robe before stepping outside. He knew something was terribly wrong when he saw tears in Remus’ eyes. 

“Rem? What happened?” He asked, cupping his face. Remus shook him off, dragging him down the hall and pointing. Janus focused on where he was gesturing, feeling his heart drop into the pits of the Subconscious. 

Virgil’s door was gone.

(Here we go! Chapter 6 finished! Hope you enjoyed it.)

#virgil sanders #janus sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides angst #Father's Day #leoni_writes #remus sanders #virgil angst #janus angst

[weightlosesuccess]

About

About me

Why do you need me for your Weight Loss?

As your guide at WeightLossSuccess, I don't just need you – I'm here for you. Your presence in our community is what makes this journey meaningful. Your experiences, challenges, and victories inspire others and create a supportive environment. Weight loss isn't just about shedding pounds; it's a transformative journey that encompasses both physical and mental well-being. Your unique journey, struggles, and successes contribute to the rich tapestry of stories that make WeightLossSuccess a place of encouragement and motivation. Your questions, your achievements, and even your setbacks provide opportunities for learning and growth, not just for you but for everyone in our community. Your presence is a reminder that we're all in this together, supporting and uplifting one another. So, it's not about me needing you – it's about us supporting each other, learning from one another, and celebrating the journey toward a healthier, happier life together. Your participation enriches the community, making it a vibrant space for everyone's success. Thank you for being a vital part of WeightLossSuccess! What I blog about

My Story

I’m Emily Turner, and I’m beyond excited to welcome you to WeightLossSuccess. I'm just your regular 32-year-old, juggling the demands of being a mom to two incredible kids and holding down a full-time job. Trust me, I know the struggle of trying to carve out "me time" in the midst of life's whirlwinds. But here's the deal - I've been in your shoes. I've felt the frustrations, faced the challenges, and found my way through. Now, I’m here to be your companion on this transformative journey. In the midst of life’s chaos, I discovered my passion for helping others find a healthier version of themselves. WeightLossSuccess is more than just a blog; it’s a friendly, encouraging space where I openly share all the tips and tricks I've picked up along my own journey. When I’m not typing away, you’ll find me hiking with my family, exploring the great outdoors, or experimenting in the kitchen to make healthy eating both exciting and delicious. And yoga? It’s my daily sanctuary, giving me the balance I need in this bustling world. I want you to know something crucial - you’re never alone in this journey. Whether you're just starting out or you've hit a tough spot, I’ve got your back. Within the pages of this blog, you'll find practical advice, stories that will fuel your belief in your own potential, and a friend - that's me! - who genuinely cares about your success. Have questions, need a boost, or just want to share your story? Don't hesitate to reach out at [email protected]. And let’s connect on social media too! You can find me on Facebook, sharing daily doses of motivation and celebrating every victory, no matter how big or small. Here’s to a healthier, happier you - because I wholeheartedly believe in you and the amazing journey you’re on! Warmest vibes, Emily Turner Your Friend and Guide at WeightLossSuccess Read the full article

[princessupgradesxo]

Good Morning My Royal Subjects,

It has come to my attention that I am not at my best for my kingdom. So I’m on a mission to glo-up and become that girl I know I always have been. I’ve been such a Debbie downer about my weight gain and own internal perceived lack of attractiveness.

For context and a goddamn rundown - Since the pandemic, chile, my weight has been going up. So many factors like moving from my active retail job to a snack laden office with perks like being taken out for lunch (almost ALL the time), moving back at home (and actually having to eat home cooked meals - Thanks Nanny lool) but worst of all, sort of growing out of my “skinny person discipline”.

I was slim for as long as I can remember, hell I still look in the mirror and see a slim person… just a bit fluffier? I can’t explain it, all I do know is that when I was slim, I thought I looked like how I do now. Fat? My body dysmorphia was dysmorphia-ing. I was so tiny then and I didn’t even think so.

I can safely say that being slim was the worst part of my life (and you see I said about being slim for as long as I can remember…). But I got bigger and honestly, I was kind of happier than ever, I know, sounds like absolute cap. But truly I felt like that… until…

Well everything, I’m a pretty girl (pretty inna di face wtf) and I’ve never had to worry about- this smile gets me out of trouble. But I guess… ugh how pick me… I darent say this but I just don’t get any attention - and I’m talking guys and girls. I used to get the girls bending over backwards to tell me how pretty I am and the guys??? You catch my drift.

Anyways, this is just an adventure I’m taking with myself to prove to myself five things:

1) I can do anything - getting my body back to where I want it won’t be easy, but it’s sure enough better than sitting here complaining.

2) never get complacent - I guess I just never expected it to happen. But I want to be visible again, I want to be the main event, not the side kick.

3) I owe my health everything - I deserve to have a healthy strong body that looks not only great, but works amazingly!

4) I deserve to have choices - I never want to feel like I am stuck in a box. I want growth opportunities, I want to be looked at like I’m disciplined.

5) when? - if not now, I’ll keep putting it off. By March 2024, I want to be BACK.

Im doing it for the slutty outfits, the stares, the return to pretty privilege, the smiles, being thrown around, the kinder treatment, being like catnip to these dumb men, looking the way I want in clothes again!!

I’m trying to accompany this with TikTok, so whenever I am ready to be perceived, I’ll put my TikTok on here x

Best,

Princess x

27/10/23

#weight loss #level up #glow up #black girl aesthetic #black girls of tumblr #winning