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pluckyredhead · 1 month

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Can you please say more about the Lanterns' politics?

I am so glad you asked me about this because I've been thinking about it since I reblogged that post but also I'm definitely about to get yelled at lol. ANYWAY THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG.

Tl;dr: John is the only one with a coherent political position or an up-to-date voter registration.

Hal:

So something interesting about Hal is that his stories are often very political but his character is not. With one extremely obvious exception, he rarely talks about politics; rather, he serves as a means through which to tell political stories, usually unintentionally.

What do I mean by that? Well, for example, in the Silver Age, his love interest would occasionally be possessed by a misandrist space jewel that would force her to attack him, but always lose because women are inherently inferior to men and prefer to be subjugated by them anyway. That's the original Star Sapphire concept. It's wildly misogynistic, but it doesn't mean Hal the character is misogynistic. But it's also a very political story, even if I don't think the writer was deliberately trying to make a point so much as...being an average, thoughtlessly sexist guy living in the 60s. (Carol continues to be the subject of mindbogglingly sexist writing and art well into the 2000s. Fucking comics.)

And so you have Hal Jordan, whose love life was ruined by his girlfriend getting promoted above him and who called his best friend by a racist nickname for decades; Hal Jordan, poster boy for chest-thumping post-9/11 kneejerk patriotism; Hal Jordan, lightning rod for a certain kind of regressive bigoted fanboyism. Choosing Hal as the Lantern for a particular story over John or Kyle has come to signify something very specific, but none of that is necessarily reflective of what Hal himself believes.

So what about Hal himself? Well, when we first meet him, he's the epitome of privilege: a white, straight, cis, Christian (I know he's canonically half-Jewish now but that's only as of the past decade or so), ablebodied, upper middle class (Geoff Johns retconned him to have a working class background, but in the Silver Age, he had one uncle who was a millionaire, another who was a judge, and a successful politician brother) man with a flashy job. Privilege tends to lean Republican; even if he is from California, I suspect Hal voted for Eisenhower in 1956.

In GL/GA, the word "Republican" isn't used to my recollection, but Hal is definitely presented as...I'm going to say conservative by I mean lower-case C. He doesn't have deeply held political beliefs, but he's traditional. He doesn't question the system, because he's never had to. He resists things that challenge the way he's always understood the world works, and that's very relatable - most people do! And he will absolutely argue with Ollie, who certainly isn't always right about everything. But he's also willing to listen, and have his mind changed, and certainly reachable via appeals to compassion and fairness.

Once the "relevance" trend of the late 60s-early 70s was over, Hal's stories default back to ostensibly politically neutral, although obviously nothing is actually politically neutral. In the late 80s and early 90s he's the most unpleasant version of himself, and that has political manifestations, like when he allows John to be imprisoned in apartheid South Africa for a ridiculous and unnecessary crime Hal himself committed. It's extremely fucked up, but again, it's less because of Hal's actual opinions and more because Christopher Priest wanted to write about apartheid, even if it does make Hal look incredibly, horrifically racist.

Then jump to the mid-2000s and Green Lantern: Rebirth, and you might imagine that losing his hometown, getting possessed by a giant space bug, becoming a supervillain, dying, and becoming the embodiment of God's vengeance might have some effect on Hal's politics, but that is not what Geoff Johns is here to write. Johns is writing a Hal who teleported in from, like, 1967 - no nuance allowed. He's a summer blockbuster that walks like a man. He's a Baja Blast. He's never had a coherent political thought in his life. In his defense, he has had more and goofier concussions than any superhero I can think of and his brain is smooth like an egg. Still.

Anyway, all of this is to say that I think Hal tends to default to center right positions but can be easily coaxed over to center left. That said, he has never not once in his life had his shit together enough to vote in a single election, not even for his own brother.

Guy:

So Guy's deal is a little bit complicated because his most vocally political era was also in part due to severe and personality-altering brain damage.

When Guy was originally introduced in the 1960s, he had the pleasantly bland personality of all superheroes. Many years later, he suffered a series of major injuries, torture, and a lengthy coma, and he emerged from the coma in 1985 with the aggressive, abrasive personality he's best known for today. Justice League International took that even further, using him to parody the jingoistic, red-blooded American action hero of the 80s.

This version of Guy is a vocal fan of Ronald Reagan and despises the USSR. He's pro-war, proudly xenophobic, and treats women badly enough that it crosses the line into repeated sexual harassment, both physical and verbal. (To be fair...ish, this last also applies to Wally West and arguably a number of other men, and was always played for laughs. It was gross all around.)

Again, this is partially a manifestation of his brain damage. There's also a running gag in JLI where if he gets hit on the head, his personality changes to this cloying, timid, gentle one, sort of halfway between a child and a flamboyant gay stereotype. Hit him again and he goes back to Asshole Guy. I'm not going to pretend I don't find some of the gags funny, but it's obviously all highly problematic, and not just from a medical standpoint.

That said, I don't think we can dismiss Guy's politics or his usual personality as simply a manifestation of brain damage. We see in later flashbacks that he developed the abrasiveness as a defense mechanism from growing up in an abusive home, and as he matures through the 90s, he doesn't actually become a significantly different person, even after his Vuldarian healing factor kicks in and heals his brain. (It's a thing.) I think it's more accurate to say that the brain damage probably affected his impulse control, his filter, and arguably even his paranoia levels.

All of which is to say that as much as I would love to go "Guy's better now, so he's not a Republican!"...that dog won't hunt. I think a really good canon writer could make the case that Guy is pro-union-style working class and also a former teacher so he's at least center left, but as of now canon evidence is pretty firmly on the red side. It doesn't help that the GLC has been written as fetishistically pro-cop and pro-military since Johns got his grubby hands all over it. I will happily ignore the New 52 retcon that Guy was a cop, and you could even try to argue that he dislikes cops because his brother was a corrupt cop who became a supervillain, but I think it's much more likely that he identifies with cops as a Corps member. Although I don't think he would have any patience for killer cops. ("You were afraid for your life even though you were the only one with a weapon? Then fucking quit, coward.")

All of that said, I think Guy is similar to Hal: defaults to center right, can be talked into center left on certain issues but he's more stubborn about it. (They would also both be enraged by Jan 6 and disgusted by the current Republican party - I can't quite argue that Guy Gardner is a Democrat but Green Lanterns don't have any patience for traitors or cowards.) It's also kind of a moot point because he never knows what is happening on Earth and hasn't voted since his pre-coma days.

John:

Oh John Stewart, thank god for you.

John was introduced as an explicitly political character in an explicitly political story. The first time we see him, he's stepping in to defend Black men from a white cop, citing his own knowledge of the law to do so. He shows a much more perceptive and informed perspective on the issue's main plot (a racist senator running for president) than Hal does. Even in the little moment above, we see that he's sensitive to exactly what it means for him, a Black man, to be taking on this role.

None of this is a surprise, since we'll later learn that John's parents were civil rights activists. Not only would he not have had the privilege Hal and Guy did to assume his existence was politically neutral, he was explicitly educated about political realities and progressive advocacy from childhood. He's well-informed, he's passionate, and he's going to tell you when you are being fucking stupid.

John isn't immune from the GL cop/military...thing, although I can't blame Johns for that - it was the cartoon that made him a Marine, and the comics followed suit. But that's never outweighed his origin or his upbringing. Like, he's friends with the DCU's fictional version of Nelson Mandela.

This one is straightforward: John is a staunch progressive. He is, however, in outer space 90% of the time, so he's always at least a little bit out of date. I imagine every time he comes back to Earth he spends the first 24 hours watching the news in abject horror.

Kyle:

Kyle doesn't talk about politics a lot, but when he does, he lands pretty much where you'd expect a young California-born artist living in New York City to land: to the left. My read on Kyle is that he hasn't really thought any of his politics through, which makes sense - he's a character who is led by emotion over reason every time. He doesn't have John's carefully thought-through arguments or knowledge of the law behind him. I feel like when something political upsets him, he's more likely to splutter angrily than make a coherent argument (which: same). When he's given the time to think things through and speak from the heart, though, he can be very eloquent, like in his speech to Terry after Terry accidentally comes out to him.

It's also worth pointing out that his solo appearances were mostly in the 90s, which were prone to avoiding politics or only addressing them in a halfhearted both sides-y way like the story above.

That said, I don't think he ever actually does anything about his political opinions. He never votes in midterm or primary elections, and probably only voted in a presidential one because Alex dragged him along one time. I feel like Donna tried to do the same when they were dating and that was when Kyle realized he'd forgotten to change his voter registration from California to New York. Jennie wasn't responsible enough to Mom him into doing his civic duty, and he's been in space pretty much nonstop ever since, so...

Simon:

In that other post, I said Simon's experiences should have radicalized him, but instead he was created by Geoff Johns. Simon is a Muslim, Lebanese-American man who came of age in the post-9/11 era, and was wrongfully convicted of terrorism and waterboarded at Guantanamo Bay. His reaction to this was...to put on a ski mask and wave a gun around. Like, it's been a while since I've read these issues, but aside from the "ripped from the headlines!!!" of it all, I feel like Simon's experiences largely don't inform his actions or perspective except that he's super angry (fair enough).

The thing about Simon (and Jessica) is that he hasn't been around very long, and most comics don't have characters directly expressing political opinions. It's not a coincidence that these characters are in chronological order and each write-up is shorter than the last. I can think of about three times where Kyle has ever said anything I can interpret as political, and he's been around for 30 years. Simon only has a third of that history. So while one could certainly extrapolate what Simon's opinions are likely to be, I can't think of any canon where he actually says them.

Jessica:

Jessica has even less to go on in terms of explicitly political comics. You'd think she wouldn't like guns because of what happened to her friends, but she has one of her own and doesn't seem bothered by Simon's. I'd imagine she has opinions on immigration as someone whose family is from Mexico and Honduras, but it never comes up. If I were writing for DC, I'd make both Simon and Jess leftists, but as for actual canon proof? I got nothing.

I will say that she probably avoids political discussions because anxiety, and I bet she got really good at voting by mail during her years not leaving the house. She probably votes by mail from space. Maybe John's not the only one with an up-to-date voter registration.

Kilowog:

#green lantern #hal jordan #guy gardner #john stewart #kyle rayner #simon baz #jessica cruz #meta

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wordstome · 7 months

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my königcore bible

[part 2] [masterlist]

I wanted to make a reference for influences on my own personal interpretation/thoughts on König, so here it is! Be warned, this is a VERY long post. All images have the link to the original post embedded, and most have a shortened screenshot so I HIGHLY recommend you visit the link. Some posts/reblogs don't exist anymore, so the link will go to my own reblog of that post.

I also do update this so like, check back once in a while to see what’s new!

(with my own tags)

(quote by julie buntin)

(lycheedr3ams)

(Caedis's headcanons had a big influence on me coming up with my own König. Julius is so lifelike I forget he's not a real person)

(all of salome's headcanons, tbh. just check her König tags)

(I think about this post every time I think about König's perspective on romance/sex/intimacy and how his horniness manifests. Rags if you see this, this post lives rent free in my head)

(anu-patten)

Please please click through and look at the art on this post, it's great. I just put the relevant part here.

(yawnderu)

I'm going to think about this one a lot (there's a lot more to this post than just this paragraph so please do click through on this one especially)

(kortacqueen)

#könig #könig x reader #könig cod #könig mw2 #call of duty #cod mw2 #cod x reader #cod #mw2 #konig #konig cod #konig x reader #navigation: königcore bible

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leportraitducadavre · 1 month

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Alright, since I’ve received multiple asks about who I ship Sasuke with (or if I have a problem with specific ships), I’ll reiterate my posture regarding shipping culture:

I think it’s very poor, borderline shortsighted, to focus so incredibly much on the possibility of a character –that never specified being sexually interested in anyone, having a romantic partner. Besides the fact that Sasuke is a very traumatized man, a survivor of state-sanctioned genocide which affects his libido to the point of it being non-existent, the entirety of his characterization revolves around him seeking justice for his family. No. It’s not about his bond with Naruto, it’s not about his apparent sexual tension with Karin, nor is it about his crush (the fuck?) on Sakura.

It’s Naruto the one whose characterization revolves around his bond with Sasuke, it’s Karin the one whose characterization revolves around her sexual desire for Sasuke, and it’s Sakura the one whose characterization revolves around her crush on Sasuke –Sasuke’s entire arc differs completely from theirs, as his entire goal, through the entire series, is about seeking justice for his family.

What happens once Sasuke realizes he won’t be able to kill Itachi if he stays in Konoha? He leaves because he chooses his goal as an Avenger before his connection with Team 7 (yes, Itachi’s presence also reminded him of the imminent threat of having bonds that Itachi could easily destroy, but he doesn’t leave to protect T7, but to seek power to kill his brother). What happens once Sasuke kills Itachi? He learns about the truth behind the UCM, and decides to barge into the Kage Summit to kill Danzo and not return to Konoha. What happens once he kills Danzö? He still decides not to return and plans to bring the entire system down. I mean, where is his “bond with Naruto” in all this? Where is his “sexual tension” with Karin in all of this? Where is Sakura’s relevance in all of this? At no single moment does he focus on these bonds, often questioning the reason why these people are so adamant about pursuing him. Am I saying that they don’t matter at all to him? No, and you know that’s not the point of the post unless you’re looking for a reason to get upset in which case, I cannot help you. What I’m saying is that they’re not relevant to his main goal or characterization, as that power rests upon Itachi’s shoulders. Each character here mentioned has either more or less importance throughout his journey, but none of them are detrimental to his objective and none of them are important enough for him throughout the manga to deviate from his ambition (he even tried to kill each one of them when he deemed them a liability or they threatened the continuation of his mission).

Who do I ship Sasuke with? Nobody, I don’t enjoy a single pairing that is attributed to him, and I wish the fandom would realize that the entire plot revolves around the actions and consequences of a fascist regime, and not about who wanted to secretly or not so secretly fuck who, or who deserve his dick and who doesn’t. Yes, I’m being blunt, and some of you will think I’m exaggerating, but if you don’t see me talking about ships as often as you see me speaking about feminism or politics inside the Naruto manga, well, what a shocker, there’s a reason for it.

And to prevent people from putting words in my mouth, let me say this: I’m not saying you can’t enjoy a ship –go crazy if that’s what you want, do art, fanfics, and whatever rocks your boat, I won’t go after you trust me, but oh my god how come some of you would give a “potential romantic couple” so much more relevance than the actual plot?! Sasuke plainly and continuously reminds the characters and the readers what his true goal is and what he wants, and still, some of you will force a deep reading of a bubble of speech detached from his overall characterization to prove that he was smitten with x,y,z all along!

#personal #sasuke #sasuke uchiha #pro sasuke #pro sasuke uchiha #anti shipping culture #anti shipping #anti sns #anti sasunarusasu #anti ss #anti sasusaku #anti sk #anti sasukarin #anti sns fandom #anti ss fandom #anti sasusaku fandom

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ultrainfinitepit · 13 days

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When you first started making pins, how did you advertise them? And vs now? I really want to get into making some of my own :]

That's a great question! There's lots of ways to advertise and I'll share what worked for me. But your mileage may vary or you might find ways that work better for you than they did for me.

Here are my first angel pins, by the way, it's been four years since I first started if you can believe it.

Here's what I did at the beginning that I still do now:

Build your following on social media and post about your pins. This is probably the most important thing to do, but also the hardest. Focus on a small number of social media profiles that you can manage comfortably, don't stretch yourself too thin as it is important to engage with your audience to build it. Each site has their own quirks as well. I can go into detail on my favorites and what I've observed for each if anyone is curious, just send a follow-up ask.

Run crowdfunding campaigns to fund your pins and then advertise to backers. Specifically start on Kickstarter if you are a beginner. While I am loving Backerkit it is a lesser-known site and it's harder to get discovered on it. I have gotten comments from artists who worry that they need to be popular before doing crowdfunding. However in my case it was my first campaign that built my audience the most. And in my opinion, it is never a waste of time to try out a campaign. If it fails you still have the artwork ready, you can gauge interest and see which designs are popular, and you will have a starter pool of people interested in your art that you can build off of.

Create a merch newsletter and share monthly updates. Since it is independent of social media it is a lower barrier to entry for customers interested in your art; and doesn't require them to check social media and happen to catch your posts. It takes some time to build a list but you can be assured everyone who signs up is invested in your merch.

There's quite a few things I did at the beginning to get started pin making and then advertise, that I don't do now. Mainly it is an issue of time. I used to spend hours and hours running around on all these sites, as well as reading over posts for research. Nowadays, social media and shop following are enough for me. But I would recommend the following for anyone looking to start out in pin making.

Things I used to do that I would recommend, but don't do much of now:

Join PMR on Facebook and post in their weekly share thread. "Pin Maker Resource" is the best place for beginner pin makers. It is a huge group of dedicated pin makers, all eager to answer questions and provide valuable insights into pin making. Most of all, it has those manufacturer reviews and names that everyone is always asking for! I have personally posted many reviews to this group. It is open for applications once a month. You have to apply because they specifically prohibit pin manufacturers from joining so people can post their reviews freely.

Post in Facebook groups. These communities can be large so your post may get lost in the crowd, but it will be seen by people specifically looking for pins. I like "Pin & Art Collector Marketplace" and "Pin Nation." "Enamel Pin Collectors, Artists, Trades and Kickstarters!" is decent but smaller.

Join a pin Discord server and share your designs in promotion channels. Many pin collectors such as myself join these servers to look for pins to buy. We are also in multiple servers and will crosspost if we like something. I have found these servers mainly by joining pin creators' Patreon clubs.

Post on Reddit. The communities are small but a guaranteed place to find people interested in pins. I like r/EnamelPins and r/pinprojects. If your pins are for a specific audience, you can post to relevant subreddits. For example, I have shared my work on angel art subreddits.

That's just about everything I can recall. I hope this is helpful, good luck on your pin journey!

#ask #pin making

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lostinforestbound · 6 days

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It's finally here! I'm sorry it took me so long, with work and art projects I got completely swamped. But now it's here! I'm aware I'm posting this incredibly late so no one will see this until morning probably hahaha! Requested tag: @snoozeeebee

Rolan/M!Tiefling Tav

Third Time's the Charm - Ch.1

Rolan intends on doing great things when he finally gets to Baldur's Gate, but an utter idiot named Tav is distracting him. Unfortunately, against his better judgement, he's starting to fall for him.

Word Count: 5.9k (AO3)

Relevant Tags: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rolan's POV, Makeout, No smut (yet) but it gets frisky, Slowburn

(If there's any tags I missed, please let me know!) NSFW, MDNI

They've been at this grove, stewing and waiting for too long. That Archdruid (Halsin was his name, he believes) might have been welcoming, but the other druids have not. Now he up and disappeared after he decided to follow a group of weak, loud, wannabe adventurers who were only out for themselves. When they cowered back inside the grove with less than half their group, he knew that this place was doomed. What's worse than all of that mess is that Lia is stubborn about leaving, and now they're in an argument again. They've been having them a lot in recent months, ever since the fall and rise of Elturel.

"-and all you care about is your stupid apprenticeship!" Lia shouts at him, his mind finally tuning back into the conversation- no, not a conversation, a damn shouting match.

Her words make him bristle and grind his teeth. How dare she? How dare she ever think this was all only for the apprenticeship? It's an insult to injury, knowing no matter what he does, trying to take care of them results in him being called selfish. What is selfish about wanting a better life for the three of them? They only have each other, their mother long gone. She's gone, and now he carries the sole responsibility of taking care of them.

She's gone.

"Take that back. Right now." He hisses, getting in her face as they glare each other down.

Cal immediately inserts himself in between the two of them, palms out in front of them both. "Can we all just take a moment? Please?"

Rolan idly notices the sweat gathering on Cal's temple as he pushes Lia back slightly by her shoulder, creating more space between all of them. He does the same to Rolan, but stays put in the middle to form a weak barrier- wait, who is that tiefling that approached? No, it doesn't matter.

"Hells, we can't just leave. They're kin!" Lia begs, almost pleading with him.

"I will not gamble our lives- our futures, on people who are as good as dead," He says somewhat calmly, though his tail still flicks behind him in irritation. "We must leave for Baldur's Gate at once."

Lia looks ready to bare her teeth at him, angry with him. She's always angry with him. "What's the point of blades and spells if we don't bloody use them?! We should stay! These people aren't fighters, we can help!"

"Or yell louder, that's fine too," Cal says with a familiar bitterness in his tone; gods, he hates that tone on Cal. He's been hearing it more often, these days.

"Have you forgotten Elturel?" A voice breaks through, and he finally acknowledges the presence beside them.

It's another tiefling, a much larger one at that. He's not part of the refugees, as he hasn't even seen him around until now. Did he just arrive here?

This one isn't that much taller than he is, only by a few inches; but hells, his mass absolutely dwarfs his own. A fighter most likely, or even worse, a barbarian. It doesn't matter which one he may be, he looks like an idiot that isn't worth his precious time.

"We should stand by our people. You know no one else will." He says lowly, giving a knowing look of both annoyance and sadness.

He loathes that look. He’s never wanted to blast someone more than in this moment. How dare he look at him as if he was some child throwing a tantrum?

"This isn't Elturel, and I'm not responsible for every damn tiefling in the world!" He exclaims, almost furious.

Lia pokes him harshly in the chest with her pointer finger, and he has to suppress a wince. "Just be responsible for yourself, then! We have to stay; it's the right thing to do."

He hates that fucking tiefling even more now. Not only has he butted into his family affairs, but now he turned his sister- Lia, even more against him. For once, why can't things go his way? Why do they not listen to him?

When did they stop listening to him?

"Zurgan. Fine! We'll stay. If we survive, it'll make for a good story, I suppose." He airs, rubbing a finger to his temple as he feels a headache form there.

For the first time in a long time, Lia gives him a genuine smile, putting a hand on his arm and squeezing. "Thank you, Rolan.” She says sincerely.

Cal now takes the calm moment to usher the two further into the grove, seeming to want to get away from the entranceway as soon as possible; for once, Rolan lets him. He doesn't pay any mind to the strange looks they get by going further into the grove with the other refugees, and he certainly doesn't pay any mind to the oaf of a tiefling that they left standing there by himself.

He decides he hates that man, and he pisses him off to no end.

"How long until Rolan shows off his Thunderwave?" Cal asks as they settle down near an old human woman's tent, who seems to be organizing some herbs in her storage crate. Something is off about her, but Rolan can’t put his finger on it. Either way, it doesn’t matter.

Lia snickers at that moment, crossing her arms over her chest. "Depends, how many people are dumb enough to ask?"

"Hah! True."

Rolan rolls his eyes, trying to dust off the dirt on his robes. He hates the smell of this damned grove, it stinks. Is he truly supposed to arrive to Lorroakan with his clothes smelling like this? He'll have to burn them, no question.

"Don't be grumpy, Rolan. We'll get to the city soon." Cal chirps, bumping his shoulder with his own.

"I am not grumpy."

"The scowl on your face would frighten a troll."

Despite the foul move he's in, he smiles at his little brother. "Heh. You're an idiot."

-----

It's been days, and that tiefling is still here.

He's heard about his many exploits; saving one of the children the druids held hostage, saving another orphan child from a group of relentless harpies, getting their money back from that tiefling brat with the eyepatch, and slaughtering Kagha. Emphasis on slaughtering.

When he came out of that grove where the ritual had stopped, he saw the amount of blood that was covering the large man. None of it was his own, he realized. The man barely had a scratch on him and seemed proud when exiting.

He caught himself staring at him many times, watching how the muscles stretched across his skin, seeing all the little imperfections. Scars, beauty spots, all the like. He internally curses himself and looks away when he feels his face growing hot.

Paying back attention to his siblings, he notices how Cal stares at the blacksmith across the way, rubbing his hands absentmindedly as he thinks of something.

"You shouldn't waste precious time on distractions. We need to head to Baldur's gate after this goblin fiasco is over." He remarks, getting up and brushing off dirt.

"Rolan." Lia warns, but he ignores her and walks away with a roll of his eyes. They need supplies, so he will go get them if they are too lazy to do so.

And, of course, the oaf is already buying them off of one of the druids. Damn it all!

"Need something?" He asks, inspecting him as if Rolan was much shorter than him.

He scoffs, even more irritated than he was originally, "I was in need of potions, but it seems you got them all already."

"What did you need?"

"It doesn't matter, you beat me to it!” He instinctively snaps, briefly pinching the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb. “Bloody health potions are so short of stock these days-"

Wordlessly, the man puts three large health potions into his arms, which, for once, renders Rolan speechless. He doesn’t even remember the original tangent he was about to go one. Something about price inflation, probably.

Staring down at the red potions in his arms, he snaps back into reality when he speaks again. "You three need it more than I do. I, at least, have a healer."

He sneers at him, gripping the potions tight. "So what, you look down on us?”

"Not at all."

"We are not charity cases,”He almost growls, baring his teeth. “What is your game here?"

"…Can I tell you a secret?"

Why is this his life? How did everything turn out this way? Why is he even entertaining this fool??

After a bit of contemplating his life choices, he finally responds. "What?"

The tiefling suddenly leans in to put his mouth near his ear, and gods he's so close. Tav was his name, wasn't it? He heard it in passing by one of his group mates. Balsam, rogue's morsel, and acorn truffle are what he smells on him, a strong scent that is surprisingly pleasant- gods, what is he thinking?! Feeling his face starting to heat up, he tries to take a step back, but Tav stills him with a hand on the back of his neck. It makes his breath catch in his throat.

Finally, Tav whispers to him, "I'm just being nice."

Tav pulls away, leaving Rolan completely dumbfounded as he continues. "I'm not trying to look down on you or be a pest, I just think you need the potions more than I do. Cause gods forbid these fucking druids try and help out people who need it." He spits with a roll of his eyes, staring directly at the Druid that was still besides them through this entire ordeal. He looks uncomfortable.

"Well, that is shockingly intelligent of you." He huffs, hoping the jab aggravated him. "Although, aren't you fighting a swarm of Goblins out there?"

"I am, but bold of you to assume they hit hard enough to hurt me." Before he could come up with another insult for his remark, Tav interjected. "Anyways, I have to return to my camp as it is getting late. Good luck to you and your siblings. Cal and Lia, right?"

He didn't have the chance to respond before the idiot sauntered off, back outside the grove. Great, now he's indebted to the bastard. Slowly, he stalks back into the grove, tying the potions to his belt as he does so.

-----

Some panic swept across the grove when people realized the goblin army planned to raid it for all it was worth. He's heard so many horror stories of slaughtered tieflings, their enemies sawing off their horns to keep as trophies or as foghorns.

If they think they could do the same to his family, they are sorely mistaken.

As others run and hide in Zevlor's war room, others stay to help fight, including himself. But, once again, the three of them can't stop arguing about their positions; he can tell Cal is getting pissed off, but so is he.

"I'm telling you to stay back. My Thunderwave will make short of any goblin that dares to come close. If you two are in the way, I'll knock you both over!"

"And I'm telling you to just get behind us! Spellcasters can't take a punch or a blade!" Lia shouts.

"Can we not argue over this? Please? How about we all line up together?"

"No." They both state and Cal immediately shuts up.

"Wow, you three must love each other very much." A familiar voice says sarcastically.

He grits his teeth and turns towards Tav. "Oh, piss off you oafish-"

"Wait! Wait, maybe Tav can help us out. Figure out positioning and whatnot?" Cal suggests quickly.

"Great idea Cal! Let's ask the professional harpy slayer."

Tav looks at them all, seeming to take in the equipment and weapons that they have on hand. In all honesty, Rolan didn't even think Tav could think.

Suddenly, Tav grabs Cal and moves him to the front, and in the next moment, he gently moves Lia to the back, leaving Rolan in the middle. "There. That's a good positioning."

"See? Easy!" Cal says cheerfully. "Now can we just-"

"Why can’t I be in the front with Cal?”

“Lia come on-“

“I want to be able to help out!”

Tav yawns briefly before explaining, "You will be helping, a lot. Both of you and Rolan are range users. You will hit goblins better by staying in the back where you'll be more effective. Cal here is in melee, with both a pike and a shield. He can protect you both and be your frontliner, while at the same time, you two cover his blind spot. Although, alternatively, you two could be next to each other, but stay behind him."

Rolan blinks slowly, processing the logic behind it. Damn it all, it's incredibly smart. Maybe Tav isn’t an idiot.

"There, good enough explanation?" He asks.

"It's great! Thank you, sincerely." Lia says, patting Tav's shoulder.

"…You're welcome." He pauses before putting a hand into his bag. "We'll kill those bastards out there, no doubt. But I would feel better if you all have this just in case."

Taking out a bright scroll, he holds it out to the three of them to take. Rolan instantly recognized it, especially with the unique binding on it.

A Resurrection Scroll.

Lia is the first to react and take it. "We won't need this, but thank you! Doesn't hurt to have a backup plan if things go wrong."

"I'll make sure it goes smoothly." He reassures, cracking his knuckles.

"What do you have planned, anyway?" Cal wonders aloud.

"I stole a bunch of smoke powder barrels in their camp and set them up along the perimeter. Anyways, they could be here any moment. Stay vigilant. If all goes super well, you won't even have to fight."

-----

They feel the explosions before they hear it. A deep rumbling in the ground that shakes them, awake and alert. There are so many of them that go off after the first one, like a domino effect. How many barrels could Tav have possibly gotten his hands on??

Unfortunately, those explosions didn’t stop a giant spider and some goblins from coming in.

Goblins were easy. He made quick work of them with his thunderwave, blasting them back into the stone wall. Though with his distraction of mentally stroking his own ego, he didn’t see the giant spider coming up until Cal quickly got to his side, blocking its oncoming fangs with his shield, the force of the bite splintering the wood.

His eyes widen, and he blasts a magic missile at the spider right as Lia shoots an arrow into one of its eyes. It screeches in pain, but it’s stubborn in its conviction. It lunges, and Cal cries out when it tears into his arm, trying to rip off his flesh.

Rolan shoots off another thunderwave in his anger and panic, killing the spider in an instant. He watches some of the legs get cut clean off, the body flying and crashing into some crates, destroying them, and its sickly green innards spilling onto the dirt floor. A disgusting sight, indeed.

“Cal!” Lia yells quickly, snapping Rolan back into reality and he quickly rushes over.

Cal is teary-eyed but tries to wave it off, even as Lia tries to get a better look. “I-I’m fine, I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. Come here.” Rolan says maybe a little too harshly, making his brother sit down on a wayward crate and grabbing his elbow to hold it still.

“Rolan please-“

“You look close to crying! Just-“ He stops himself and takes a deep breath, eyes meeting his. “Let me help. Please.”

Cal sighs shakily but nods, letting his arm be lifted for him and Lia to see.

It’s a deep injury, but nothing deathly serious. It looks painful. The spider managed to inject some kind of poison, but Cal resisted whatever effect it could have taken.

Rolan takes out one of the health potions he’s received from Tav and carefully pours it over the injury, and it slowly seals the wound. No scar is left behind, surprisingly enough.

“Does it hurt?” Lia gently presses.

“Not anymore. Thanks, Rolan.”

He wants to yell at him so badly, the argument already bubbling up his throat. Why wasn’t he more careful? Why did he jump towards his side so quickly? He had it handled! He’s supposed to protect him, not the other way around.

Instead, he settles on, “You’re welcome.”

Knowing it’s safer, Cal leans against him quietly, and Rolan carefully holds him with Lia. It wasn’t even a close call, but it’s clear Cal needed some comfort.

No more enemies come through. There were no casualties, either.

Zevlor ends up making a speech at the gate when they check out the damage, and he’s sure others are inspired, but he’s barely paying attention to it. He doesn’t care, in all honestly. He wants to leave this fucking grove and never look back; it is by far the worst place they’ve ever stayed in, second to Avernus. Though, he might be being dramatic.

He found himself looking around for Tav, but he didn’t see him anywhere. Why was he looking for him, anyway?

When he finally spots him, he shouldn’t be shocked by the amount of gore he’s covered in, but he is. He’s completely drenched in blood, whether from the goblins or the Drow leading them. Some of it was his own since he spots injuries littering his frame.

He shakes his head and straightens up, shifting his attention to his siblings and ignoring the warmth growing in his cheeks. “Now that this fiasco is over, we will head to Baldur’s Gate.”

“Are you serious Rolan?! Come on, there’s going to be a party!” Lia complains, bumping her hip with his. “We have to go.”

“We don’t have time for parties! Lorroakan is waiting for me, I cannot be late.”

“What’s one party, Rolan? It’s just for a night. We need to rest anyways.” Cal says, looking around the other excited tieflings. When was the last time they saw a crowd of them so happy? He certainly doesn't remember, and it makes his original conviction crack a little.

“I will not-“

Cal takes hold of one of his arms, tugging him. “Please, Rolan? Just for tonight.”

“There’ll be free wine, provided by the heroes.” Lia sing-songs, leaning against him and almost making him stumble.

“…Free wine?” He questions, genuinely thinking about it.

“And free food,” Cal confirms.

Gods, he hates the pathetic puppy-dog eyes that they use. He can’t stand to look at their faces, and he hates it even more that he's falling for it, just as he always has.

He sighs heavily in defeat, head hanging a little low. “Fine.”

“Yes!” Cal cheers, giving him a tight hug.

To his surprise, Lia joins in, the both of them crushing him. “Thank you, Rolan!”

He rolls his eyes but lets a smile break through, even when he can hardly breathe. “All this over a party?”

“It’ll be fun! You’ll see!”

He smirks knowingly, finally separating from the two. “All right all right, I trust that this will be an exceptional occasion. I look forward to seeing you say you love me while drunk, Lia.”

"As if, brother."

It doesn’t take long for Tav to offer up his area with his party members, so they gather with the Tieflings and head to the camp. It doesn’t look like much, but it’s secluded at least.

That bard, Alfira, starts decorating the place in an instant; lantern lights go up, colorful ribbons decorate the trees, and boxes get moved to the side. Others help out, including Lia, but Rolan and Cal sit back and relax for the time being.

When the party finally starts, they pass wine between the three of them.

“Can you give us a magic show, Master Rolan?” She teases.

Rolan rolls his eyes playfully. “Already?”

“Oh! Can you make an owl bear?? Or a dragon!” Cal suggests, scooting forward more on the log.

He stretches out his arms in front of him, cracking his knuckles while doing so. "Patience! Have you no respect for showmanship?"

"Having performance issues Rolan?" Cal whisper-shouts playfully, and Rolan idly notices Tav approaching.

He turns his nose up high momentarily before holding his hands out. "Hush, you. And behold!"

It's a brief performance, but amazing nonetheless if he says so himself. He makes it look like stars that spark, fly, and explode into various lights. He has always been irritated he could never make it last long, but that is what his training will be for.

He looks over at Tav as soon as he claps, seeing the way his eyes glide over the lights. His face doesn’t change in the slightest, so he can’t tell if his clapping is meant to be some sort of taunt or if he’s genuine.

Either way, he does a dramatic bow. "Adoring applause? You're too kind."

"Remember when he couldn't cast that?" Lia teases.

"They grow up so fast," Cal states.

"Never have I met such troglodytes. Now, pass the wine." Rolan demands, but a content smile is plastered on his face.

It seems Lia was about to offer Tav some of it, but when she and Rolan turn towards him, he’s already gone.

“Looks like he already got bored of you.” Lia sings to him.

“Oh hush up.” He huffs, snatching the wine bottle and taking a long drink.

He will never admit how much that comment stung. He doesn’t know why he was so bothered by it in the first place. There are many possibilities he goes over as he feels the alcohol give him a pleasant buzz; was it her wording, or was it the fact that Tav disappeared without a word? Did he get bored?

Whatever, it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t care what that man thinks of him. He swears he doesn’t.

Later in the night, he drank- no, chugged wine while Cal and Lia chatted with the other tieflings partying. As much as he loved to perform for them both, even someone as great as he gets tired after using a bunch of magic in rapid succession.

The wine wasn’t good; nothing compares to Arabellan Dry, but what else was there to drink? He refuses to partake in ale or beer, he never found the appeal of it. Honestly, it’s disgusting, and he doesn’t understand why Lia likes it so much. Cal seems to be looking for someone in particular but isn't finding them. He looks disappointed.

As he wonders about Cal and debates checking in on him, he doesn’t notice the brute approaching him until his giant form sits next to him with his own alcohol, the bark of the fallen tree groaning from the extra weight. He covers up how it startled him quickly, tilting his head up towards the brute with a bored expression.

“What do you want?”

“Nothing. I’m here to drink.” He says nonchalantly, sipping on the wine bottle. “Impressive display of magic earlier.”

His nose scrunches up, yellow eyes settling on his flaming ones with a glare. “Was that sarcasm?”

“No. Are you self-taught?”

Of all the things he expected tonight, it wasn’t this. Tav, a person who hits things and asks questions later, is curious about him? He wonders if he has an ulterior motive.

He pushes the thought to the back burner of his brain for now but approaches the conversation cautiously. “I am! And a man with many talents, may I add. I’m going straight to Baldur’s Gate to learn from the best: The Great Lorroakan.”

He sees the imposing Tiefling roll his eyes, putting his bottle down to stare out at the water surrounding the camp. Tav looks a little different, in the moonlight. Seeing him up close is a different experience entirely, and now he can see every little detail about him, including how he was shirtless-

Wait, did he just roll his eyes?

“What?” He demands, posture straightening as he grows defensive.

“Nothing. Just heard he’s a cad is all.” He mutters, deciding to pick the bottle back up and taking a long swig.

“Common gossip and rumors! He’s the greatest wizard in all of Baldur’s Gate. I’ve never imagined he would answer my letters.” He states with a happy sigh, idly swirling the liquid in his bottle. “I will become his apprentice as soon as I arrive. I cannot be late, yet Cal and Lia insist that this party is a wonderful idea. An adoring crowd, fine wine - I daresay this place is almost civilized.”

“Do you regret staying?”

“Of course I do. But Cal and Lia…” He trails off for only a moment but snaps back to it. “They deserve to have some fun for a little while. We’ll leave at dawn, either way.”

The Tiefling stares at him for a moment, seeming to be searching his face. For what, Rolan had no idea. Some kind of lie, perhaps?

“All right then. Good luck to you.” Tav eventually settles on.

“…That’s it??” He exasperates.

“If you’re looking for someone to argue with, find someone else.”

“You-“

“You talk too much.”

He settles a death glare on Tav's form. “Prick.”

Tav slowly looks at him with his own glare, determined to play his game. “Entitled fuck.”

“Dumb oaf.”

“Prickly bastard.”

They both stare each other down, faces too close but neither of them breaks their stare. He feels Tav's hot breath ghosting over his lips, and the tension could be cut with a knife.

“You’re insufferable.” Tav huffs, suddenly gripping Rolan’s jaw and kissing him firmly.

He moans in surprise at the force but isn’t against it. In fact, his face gets incredibly red before he remembers he can kiss back.

It’s not like this is his first kiss. He’s given and received kisses before, he’s not some kind of reserved prude. But this is the first one that’s so heavy. Hot. He’s completely out of practice and can do nothing but grip Tav's thicker forearm.

Something about being desirable to Tav makes him throb in his pants, though it also may be the way Tav's tongue is tracing his bottom lip, seeking entry.

Tav's free hand trails to his rear and squeezes, making him inhale sharply; a perfect opportunity for Tav to slide his tongue in to taste him. He knows he's losing his composure and by extension, himself, but what's the harm in indulging in this? It's pathetic, but he's never felt so desired up until this moment, even if this ends up being a fling.

Why did the thought of this being a fling make him feel hollow?

He pulls away to give himself space and to breathe, but Tav doesn't pause, kissing along his jaw and ear. "My tent is west of here if you're interested. No one will hear us."

He shudders at the feeling of sharp teeth grazing the edge of his ear, teasing and provoking. Swallowing, he nods, and Tav pulls him away from the party towards a more secluded part of the area. He hopes that Lia and Cal didn't see him, but they most likely did. He’ll never hear the end of it when he returns.

Almost clumsily, Rolan finds himself in Tav’s tent quickly after, their kissing getting more heated between them. It was a strange feeling, exchanging breaths with someone else, but it felt good. Better than he thought.

They settle down on the floor of the tent, him sitting in Tav’s lap as they continue their make-out. Their tongues dance almost…lovingly. No, he can’t be reading into it right. They barely know each other; he's overthinking again.

He feels his large hands attempting to find the hem of his robes, and he seems to find it quickly as if from experience. Fingers start to dance across the bare skin of his back, running up the ridges of his spine. He sighs out shakily, goosebumps prickling out as his tail anxiously flicks about. Nerves hit him like a loose carriage, fast and suddenly, settling into the pit of his stomach. He felt cold, heart racing a mile a minute.

Why? This was good. Everything was good. This was supposed to feel good.

Why isn’t it?

He’ll give it time. It’s normal to be nervous about this kind of thing, right? Most definitely his lack of experience is a contributor, and doesn’t he deserve this after all his hardship? What’s the harm in pleasure for at least a night.

He feels his back hit the bedroll, warm calloused hands trailing over to the front of his body instead. Their kisses were feverish, desperate, and pent-up. All Rolan could do was grip the bedding below him as nails teased the textured skin of his sternum, a hand rolling a nipple between two fingers.

Tav’s lips go to his neck, finger tips trailing teasingly down his stomach before he begins to palm at his crotch through his smalls-

He can’t do it.

A cold sweat beads on the back of Rolan’s neck, panic and bile rising in his throat as it closes. He can’t do it, and he quickly grabs Tav’s arm with a death grip with wide eyes. “W-Wait, stop!”

Tav immediately gets his hands off of him, giving him space to move. His head reels from the sudden adrenaline, but also because Tav’s stoic demeanor is no longer present, and the man genuinely looks concerned. Fearful, even. “Did I hurt you?”

“No! No.” He reassures quickly, but his vulnerable mind is scattered and unfocused as he sits up.

There’s so many reasons why he couldn’t do this, but he can’t pin one down. Surely, Tav deserves an explanation, so he rushes to think of one.

It’s too soon, he hasn’t done this before, and this isn’t the place for it, he’s not a degenerate, his siblings are nearby, Tav is too imposing, it might hurt, it’s too vulnerable, he’s never been with a man, he’s never been with anyone, this is the wrong place to do it, he’s a coward, he’s scared-

“I can’t.” He grimaces, with no actual reason good enough to say out loud. Part of him is worried about what Tav would say; would he be upset with him? On one hand, if he does, Rolan knows that Tav was never worth his time. But on the other, he found Tav not as insufferable as he thought, and he may have just ruined the strange bond they made by stopping everything. Gods, he is pathetic, isn’t he?

Tav sighs slowly in relief, sitting back. “That’s okay.”

It’s not good enough, not for Rolan. As a wizard, he demands answers for a multitude of reasons when things happen. It’s only fair that he gives an explanation, is it not? Finally, he pins down a reason he could give: he doesn’t want to do it after having so much wine. There, that should do it.

Before he could start his tangent, he felt a hand cover his mouth.

“I don’t need a reason. It’s okay.”

He’s about to argue, completely insulted, but it gets muffled by the hand on his mouth.

“You don’t ever have to explain to me why you want to stop.” He says, finally moving his hand away. “I’m sorry if you felt like you couldn’t say no to me earlier.”

“I did want it.” He assured quickly, because he did. He truly did. Why did he panic?

“But you changed your mind.” He began, not unkindly.

“I did.”

“That’s fine.” He says with a small shrug. “If you want, we can keep kissing. Nothing further than that.”

He laughs in disbelief, running a hand down his sweaty face. “And why would we do that?”

“Doesn’t hurt to have company for a night. Besides-“ He gently takes hold of his chin, tilting his face up. “You seemed to enjoy what we were doing. Why not indulge? Just for one night.”

He smirks up at him, leaning forward with false confidence. “Am I that irresistible?”

“You have a pretty face.” He noted, swiping his thumb across his kiss-bruised lip before kissing him again.

The kiss is lazy and less heated, but it makes his heart pound all the same. Being held so tenderly is new, and he’s growing attached.

He cannot have attachments. What is he thinking?

After kissing for a little longer, he lets himself be held in the bedroll as they lay down, indulging in the quiet night with Tav. They didn’t need to discuss what happened or question it. It’s exchanging favors. For Rolan, it’s just wanting the comfort of another body near him, letting him pretend that he’ll have something like this in the future. One day, he’ll be good enough for someone. He’s not sure what this does for Tav exactly, but he seems content to hold him.

“You can ask for more if you’d like.”

“I’d rather not embarrass myself more than I already have.” He barks before glancing at him in apology, eyes softer.

“Would it help if I said I will keep my mouth shut about this?” Tav suggested, pushing some hair away from his face.

He shifts to glance at his face, seeing if he is genuine. He can never read his face that well, but when he makes his judgment, he sighs and takes one of Tav’s hands, lacing his fingers through his.

“This is pathetic, I know.”

“I don’t think it’s pathetic.” He mumbles, squeezing his hand. “This is nice for me, too.”

Rolan feels himself relax more, body almost relieved that this hasn’t been rejected.

“What will you do, when you finally get your apprenticeship figured out?” Tav asks in the quiet.

“I’ll learn everything I can about all schools of magic. Then I can put on a real show for Cal and Lia.”

“They seem to love your shows already, why change them?”

“It’ll be different.” He pledged, “Bigger, better, and more sustainable. I’ll make them last so much longer, I’ll bring it more colors, and the illusion will look realistic. You will see.”

“I’m sure they’ll be great.” He yawns, nuzzling into the back of his neck.

“I will show you when you reach to Baldur’s Gate, my friend.”

There’s no response, only a quiet snore greets him. At first, he’s annoyed, but it’s hard to be angry when he is just as exhausted from today. For now, he falls asleep in his arms, hoping that for once no nightmares haunt him.

The Tiefling beside him is still fast asleep when he wakes at dawn, though he’s impressed by how the man can sleep through the screeching birds outside.

Quickly, he fixes his robes and hair, trying to not look like a mess. Cal and Lia are surely going to tease him, knowing he never returned to their tent. He debates on whether to wake the idiot up to say goodbye, but that seems foolish. He needs to sleep, and they need to head to Baldur’s gate immediately.

So he opens the tent, sparing one more look back before leaving.

He cannot create attachments. Not now, not ever. Not until he’s done with his apprenticeship.

#forest-writes #holy rolan empire #rolan #bg3 rolan #rolan bg3 #bg3 #rolan x tav #cal #lia #rolan fanfic #rolan brainrot

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saintbleeding · 2 months

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do you have any advice for writing image descriptions? I’ve been wanting to add some to my art but I don’t know how to go about it

hello anon!!! that’s a wonderful thing to want to do and im happy to offer whatever help i can :3

so because image descriptions are very much a community effort, that does also mean there isn’t really a style guide or anything, which can be freeing but also quite intimidating! here are some kinda off the top of my head suggestions:

If ur comfier putting the ID in alt text than the post body, that is still much MUCH better than no ID at all (and side note, if someone copy+pastes ur id into a reblog, it’s not a suggestion that you did anything wrong, they’re just trying to make them maximally accessible. while a lot of ppl who need IDs will use screenreaders and will prefer alt text, there are ppl whose preference is plain text in the body of the post (i personally fall into this category))

similarly, if you are struggling to write an ID/don’t have the energy/etc, i cannot recommend People’s Accessibility on discord highly enough. there are some wonderful folks in there who can give you pointers or even write IDs for you! likewise, i can’t speak on others’ behalf but i’ve gladly written IDs for ppl’s posts before they’ve put them up before, and i’m happy to do so, even if we havent interacted before! you can shoot me a DM with the image you need described and i’m glad to assist

more specifically:

it’s good practice to include the name of the fandom and the characters, assuming it’s fanart. altho it’s likely that fanart will stay broadly within a circle where people are familiar with the source material, there may be ppl who encounter the post and wouldn’t know this detail without it being laid out explicitly

you’re welcome to mention whichever details you like, especially if you are the artist, because you know what’s important to the image as a whole. it’s also perfectly acceptable not to get super detailed on things like clothing/hairstyles, especially if they aren’t relevant to what’s going on

a good rule of thumb is to ask yourself, if you didn’t have the image in front of you and just had the description, would it be a true representation of what the image looks like/portrays? would your mental image be accurate? that’s what you’re shooting for.

the best advice i can give is to just dive in and start, bc it gets a lot less intimidating once you’ve done a few, and it also gets easier the more you do it :3

also, i think trying to follow ppl who describe images helps a lot, because you will get more passive exposure to descriptions and what you think works/doesn’t, which can improve your own ID writing! on that note, highly recommend @princess-of-purple-prose/@pathos-logical (kay is a pillar of this and every community tbqh), @ryutarotakedown, @lucky-numberme, @fox-guardian, @squeeneyart, @hotdrinks, @samwise1548, and @rq-described (a breadth of interests represented here, but also if you’re asking me i presume you have at least a passing interest in audio drama and adjacent :3 )

thanks so much for asking and as i said i’m always happy to help however i can!!! happy describing, i believe in you!!!

#asks #anon #i hope this is a little helpful!!!#i just try to follow as many folks who do ids as i can and learn by osmosis tbqh #this also delighted me very much :3

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japhan2024 · 5 months

Text

Review of Smosh's Funeral Roast

I am harsh at times, but know it all comes from a place of love!

Spoilers under the cut

I live in Europe. This is relevant because of timezones: the funeral roast of Anthony Padilla was live at 6pm for them, meaning 3am for me. I am not the youthful insomniac I once was so I had to train my sleep schedule the entire week - otherwise I would miss it because I fell asleep. But I wanted to witness this live. I love smosh.

The trailer for this roast deserves an award: Ian and the cast have a movie night as suddenly the light turns blue and everyone but Ian freezes. He seems to know what's going on and discovers a zombie or ghost like Anthony levitating. The cast of the roast are all introduced and all play a gothic, churchy kind of character. See the full trailer here (it's currently at 666k views, how fun):

youtube

Around 1am I got impatient and decided not to wait for my alarm clock but to install myself on the couch, with a blanket and a scarf, and a hot cup of tea, god knows I would need it. I watched episodes of the Scott Pilgrim Netflix series to kill the time. The character Todd Ingram reminded me a lot of Anthony and I wonder whether Anthony has 'vegan superpowers' as well. Probably so.

Finally, the pre-show begins. This is pretty uneventful as they play a game and succesfully convince thousands of viewers to buy their tickets to the main show. I look at them. Everyone is gorgeous. But I can't look away from Ian and Anthony. And here is where I stray from actually reviewing the show to let my inner fangirl out: holy fuck they are hot. Me and my friends on tumblr have been making 'forgive me Father, for I have SINNED' jokes because his character, 'the pastor', just brings that out in people. We're not used to Ian in black, or in a robe, and he looks phenomenal. And then there is Anthony, clothed in a ridiculous Harry Styles-esque lace top with lace gloves, resting his head on Ian's shoulder. It's such a cute moment, Ian pushes him upright. He can be alive for a second before his funeral. My heart melts. Honerable mention: Courtney's bikini girl cleavage right behind Ian. The girls were ready to rock. Okay, okay, back to the review.

The room feels kind of small and a bit claustrophobic. The Smosh art dept. always steps up, so the stained glass "friendship never dies" high-five looks incredible, and the megachad-Anthony portrait hilarious. The casket is huge. But the props make the set look even smaller. I think the problem is the cameras. I realize how difficult camerawork is when you have multiple focus points to switch between, but next time they should do a lot of practice with this to streamline, to get everyone in the shot and better capture people's reactions to the roasts.

Ian walks in. He starts off with a bit about who Anthony is: a hot, hardworking guy with a big dick. Those are the main takeaways of his roasts.

Amanda is next. She looks beautiful but very wacky. Her deliverance and accent are stellar, though. She truly is top talent at Smosh. Her roasts are also some of the most scorching of the night. She doesn't shy away from calling out Anthony's past problematic behavior and less than stellar performance in the bedroom ("look it up!") She gets a round of applause and deservedly so.

Tommy follows with a kind of angry roast, and proceeds to read the will, from which nobody comes away unscathed. I feels like his words about Anthony supposedly hating the cast are a necessary evil. Just the same day Anthony posted his interview with Shayne on his personal channel. There we learned that Shayne didn't know before if Ian and Anthony actually had wanted to hire them. Anthony said they were very much involved, something I don't know whether to believe. As apparently, Ian never talked about it with Shayne either, for all those years. Shayne had also been very apprehensive when Anthony came back, not knowing what would happen and the first change was to boot the entire cast off the main channel. I feel like Tommy's roast puts the topic on the table and hopefully they will talk about it more until nobody has any doubt left.

Now I have to insert that one of my main critiques of the night is that lots of people both did a lot of obvious jokes (tattoos, leaving smosh, general appearance) and did not go hard enough. Anthony kind of has an awkward CEO vibe (he's not the ceo but still) about him that seems to make even the cast a bit wary of him. I had hoped for jokes about that.

Brandon Rogers is next and rightfully points out the lack of celebrities in the line-up. Doesn't Anthony have more friends who want to roast him? Either he doesn't or the rest of Smosh don't have access to them. Which is both fine, because it is a Smosh party after all.

Arasha comes in swinging with all kinds of Zoomer slang that I frankly don't understand but her deadpan delivery is like a breath of fresh air. She ends with a very nice message. That kind of undercuts her roasts though, I wish she would have been meaner.

Now it is time for the musical half-time show, which actually deserves its own review. Performed by Angela and Chanse, this is incredible. By far, the most professional part of the evening. These are no theater kids, as they still call themselves. These are Broadway acTORS! I was really taken away by their talent. Not only do they act, but they also sing amazingly? Did you hear Angela do screamo?! And Chanse's riffs? They pointedly mention the sexual tension between Ian and Anthony, both on- and off screen. This has been occupying my mind ever since. Wow, sorry I went fangirl-mode again. But the halftime show simply is that good. Keith makes an appearance at the end and brings the show back down to earth with his humor.

The biggest surprise guests are next in what I can only describe as Dan telling the horny tale of his years long obsession with Anthony, and the many, many times he unloaded on the 'sexy Anthony' calender (which is a real calender, I was there when it came out but was broke at the time, darnit). Dan and Phil have been shedding their PG personas on their own channels for a while now, but for those who don't watch them daily this December - they're doing gamingmas and it's chaos - it is shocking what X-rated stuff comes out of their mouths. Anthony is visibly taken aback. Good!

As the show progresses, Ian keeps moderating as the pastor. It is great to see him so in control and enjoying the roast of his best friend. The joke of Ian not being able to show his emotions comes up a lot, but today I see him mainly just having fun.

Of course, then there is Bikini Girl, whom I had high hopes for, maybe too high. She is hilarious, but nothing really stings. Courtney does also direct the whole show, so super kudos to her. I just don't think she has the best roasts. She is followed by Rhett and Link, who just do their regular thing. It is funny but not very original. You can only hear so many tattoo jokes before it gets old. We do see Link's bare torso, so a win for fangirls (gender neutral).

Then Shayne, or should I say the Chosen has his turn. He is absolutely in character and does great. I just don't know if the Chosen is the best person to deliver roasts. It feels more like a Shayne party than a roast of Anthony. Which enough people love all the same, I'm sure.

Angela is 'the vessel', a possessed girl, reading the roasts from the audience. These roasts are very mid (they should have included mine! /j), but her delivery is again stellar. Smosh is really lucky to have her.

And last but not least, Ian goes on a second roasting spree. Only, it isn't a roast? He just makes fun of Anthony’s baby picture and then proceeds to tell Anthony how grateful he is for him, how he's so glad they are friends again and that he loves him? Anthony is crying by this time, which makes the moment even more tender.

Of course, Anthony has to do a counter-roast. It is apparent that he is still affected by all the roasting or 'love-bombing' as Amanda calls it. And he's not as good at live comedy yet. Still, his jokes are funny and really in Anthony's own style. He concludes with Ian's quote of being happy to burn Smosh to the ground with him. I knew that quote would be ingrained in Anthony's mind. It was one of the sweetest things Ian had ever said to him, after all. Until Ian has now told him he loves him, of course.

And then it was 5 am. I got a healthy two hours of sleep in! I came away from this roast with a content smile and a full heart. This was well worth the ticket, the staying up late. I am happy to be a member and support them monthly, I've loved their humor even before they started their youtube channel. I love Smosh. I'm so happy that Anthony is back. Smosh is whole again. And it brings out that light in Ian's eyes. He is funny in an unhinged way again. I truly love Anthony and Ian and their dumb videos. I want them to continue to make them forever. These kinds of live shows are fun. But Ian and Anthony truly shine in their off the walls absurdist sketches.

Special shout-out to my bestie @only-frann who I could scream at this whole day.

#smosh #Anthony’s funeral roast #Youtube

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themirokai · 1 year

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I am beyond lucky that the wildly talented @kulapti is a fan of the Emotional Support Raven series. In addition to the incredible art that she's done for Hanging and Loverboy, she also has fantastic pictures of Matthew and Jessamy together here and here and here. (Go, click the links, look at the great art. Reblog it.)

Those images stayed with me and I wanted to write something for Kulapti that could be the background for how Matthew and Jessamy get to be pals. That story is below. Thanks to the inimitable @once-in-a-blue-moon-rising for the speedy beta read!

(Also, it's not required reading, but the end of this post is now canon for this series and slightly relevant.)

Reunion

Matthew felt the familiar swoop of vertigo that signaled when he had switched from flying up into the sky of the Dreaming to flying down through the sky of the Waking. Below him he saw the black-clad figure that was his goal, and he glided downward in a graceful curve.

Lord Morpheus was talking to someone, so Matthew landed on the ground beside his feet, rather than on his shoulder. Lord Morpheus glanced down at him with the tiniest up-curve of the corner of his mouth, which passed as a warm smile from him. He extended his hand to Matthew, who quickly hopped onto it with one flap of his wings, and was lifted to Lord Morpheus’s shoulder.

Matthew finally looked at Lord Morpheus’s conversation partner who was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. But there was something-

“Sister,” Lord Morpheus was saying, “allow me to present my Raven, Matthew. Matthew, this is my sister, the Lady Death.”

The woman’s eyes were warm and her smile bright. “Hello, Matthew.”

Oh.

“I know you.” The words left Matthew’s beak before he could stop them.

Death’s smile faltered for a nanosecond and she tipped her head to the side. “You remember me?”

“Yes. I mean no. I mean sort of.”

“Sort of?” Death smiled encouragingly.

“It’s… sort of hazy.” Matthew shifted uncomfortably. “I remember you were there and you were. Um. You were kind. And then… and then I was in a different body and Lucienne was talking to me.”

“Those were the important parts,” Death said gently. “And how are you finding being a raven?”

“I like it.” Matthew glanced at Lord Morpheus. “A lot. It’s a good gig and I like flying.”

“And you’ve got shoulder privileges.” Death beamed. “It took some of your ravens decades to make it to your shoulder, didn’t it, Dream?”

“Perhaps.”

Matthew preened. He knew what ‘perhaps’ meant in the Boss’s lingo.

“Well I’m glad it’s working out.” Death looked distinctly pleased. “But I’m afraid I’ve got work to do.” She grabbed Lord Morpheus’s hand, then leaned in to kiss his cheek. “See you later, Dream. Bye, Matthew, keep up the good work!”

“Fare you well, my sister.”

“Bye! Thank you … ma’am,” Matthew finished awkwardly.

Lord Morpheus looked at him with a raised eyebrow and Matthew shrugged his wings.

—

Matthew gave his wings a gentle flap to keep his blood flowing: he had been perched on the tree branch for a long time. He wasn’t sure if this would work, but it was important, and he felt like he had to try. Fortunately Hob had some outing planned for Lord Morpheus in the Waking, so Matthew figured he had plenty of time.

When he decided to try to talk to Death, Matthew considered that he might kill something, a mouse for instance, in order to make contact. The fact that he liked eating mice was something that the formerly human part of his brain gingerly stepped around whenever it came up. But he wasn’t a great hunter by any stretch, he felt odd asking another raven for help with this particular errand, and he wasn’t entirely sure whether a mouse’s demise would mean that Death would show up in the form of a mouse. Plus it might be awkward, and the conversation already had plenty of potential for awkwardness, without adding blood sacrifice to the mix.

Waiting outside a hospice was, he felt, a much safer bet.

Matthew hadn’t seen her enter, but she walked out of the front door after Matthew had been waiting for a few hours. Same black pants and black tank top and black boots. It seemed the fashion sense ran in the family. Matthew took a breath, then flew down to land on the pavement in front of her.

Death pulled up short. “Matthew! Hi!”

Matthew gave a little bow.

“Oh,” Death laughed, “you don’t have to do that with me.”

“Um, thanks.” Matthew looked up at her.

“What’s up?” she asked. “Is Dream okay?”

“Yeah! Yeah, he’s fine!” Matthew said quickly. “He’s with Hob. All good. I just - um - I was hoping to talk to you? If that’s okay?”

“Of course!” She smiled. “Can you walk with me though? I should be getting to my next appointment.”

“Oh yeah, sure.”

Death started off and Matthew hopped along beside her.

“Do you want a lift?” she asked, patting her shoulder.

“Oh,” Matthew desperately hoped she wouldn’t take offense, “thanks for the offer, but I’m kind of a one shoulder type of guy.”

Death beamed at him. “I get it. So what’s on your mind?” she asked.

Matthew swallowed, steeled himself. “I wanted to ask you about Jessamy. The Raven before me.”

“Mm.” Death’s voice was quiet. “She was Dream’s Raven for a long time, but I can’t say I knew her well. He tends to keep you lot to himself.”

That wasn’t surprising, but Matthew still wasn’t quite sure how he felt about it. He filed it away and pressed on. “I actually wanted to ask about her death.”

“Okay…” Death sounded wary.

“It’s just… Lucienne told me that when the Corinthian was killed in the Waking, he re-formed in the Dreaming. And - and Lord Morpheus’s Ravens are dreams, and dreams can’t die, right?”

Death stopped walking and let out a slow breath. Matthew idly wondered if she actually needed to breathe.

“Dream knows far more than I do about how the rules work for his realm and his creations. We mostly stay out of each other’s affairs.”

“Yeah, and that’s worked out really great for your whole family,” Matthew deadpanned.

Death’s eyebrows shot up and she turned to face him. “Excuse me?”

Matthew’s beak fell open as he realized that he had just mouthed off to Death. THE Death!

“Sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean -“

But then her expression broke into a broad grin and she laughed. “Okay, fair enough.”

Matthew let himself breathe again.

Death leaned her back against a tree, propping the sole of one foot up against the trunk. She stuck her hands into her pockets. “But I’m still not sure I have any answers for you.”

“Well, even if you don’t know how dreams work, you know how death works,” Matthew said. “So why didn’t Jessamy go back to the Dreaming when she was murdered?”

“You said the Corinthian was renewed in the Dreaming?”

Matthew nodded.

“That was after Dream escaped, right?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Death nodded and took a breath. “I’m pretty sure Jessamy couldn’t go back to the Dreaming because Dream wasn’t there,” Death said quietly. “He was cut off from the Dreaming so it couldn’t function to renew her. She wasn’t the only dream who died while he was imprisoned.”

“But she was the most important to him. And she died trying to save him.”

Death inclined her head in acknowledgment.

“So now that he’s back and the Dreaming is working again, could it renew her?”

Death sighed. “Matthew, she’s been dead for decades.”

“Sure, but she was a dream, it’s not like she has a corpse rotting in the ground. And lots of people exist in the Dreaming after they die, even if you don’t count me.”

“She is in the place appointed for her.”

“She’s not though,” Matthew insisted, opening his wings a little, “she’s in whatever shitty place she ended up because things were fucked when she was murdered trying to save your brother. The place appointed for her was the Dreaming. And now that it’s fixed, she should be able to come back.”

“Are you seriously asking me to bring Jessamy back from the dead?” Death crossed her arms over her chest.

“No. She’ll still be dead, I’m just asking you to let her be dead in the Dreaming. Like I am.” Matthew swallowed, pushing away the thought that he was arguing with Death.

“I can't just do that,” she said firmly.

Matthew bobbed his head. “I- I understand that you can’t just do that. But… what happened to Jessamy hurt Lord Morpheus. He’s better than he was but it still hurts him. I don’t know that bringing her back to the Dreaming will fix that hurt. In fact it probably won’t. But I’d bet you a pretty penny that it would help. Please.”

Death sighed and her shoulders slumped a little. “I do worry about him,” she said softly.

“Me too,” Matthew said, taking a step closer. “I wouldn’t be asking otherwise.”

Death blew out a long breath and straightened up, pushing off from the tree. “She has to want to come.”

“I didn’t know her, but she was his Raven. She’ll want to come.” There was no doubt in Matthew’s mind.

Death took another deep breath. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

She snapped her fingers and a doorway of white light appeared in front of them. Matthew wondered, as he hopped after her, whether he should feel more nervous about following Death into the light. But he reminded himself that it had worked out pretty well the last time.

—

Matthew had expected labyrinthine pathways, or at least a road, but instead they stepped into a blank white void, and there, laying down with her eyes closed peacefully, was Jessamy. Matthew supposed that Death got to take shortcuts. Jessamy was smaller than him, with a band of white feathers around her torso, and while he had never seen her before he was certain he would know her anywhere.

Death stroked a finger over Jessamy’s head. “Hi, sweetheart.”

Jessamy opened her eyes and blinked at Death, then her beak opened and she got quickly to her feet. “My lady! Hello!”

Death smiled warmly. “I have someone here who wants to talk to you.” She stepped aside so Jessamy could see Matthew.

Before Matthew could speak, Jessamy gasped.

“Oh! You’re his Raven! He got free? Is he alright?!”

“He’s alright,” Matthew said gently, stepping forward. “He’s doing pretty good, actually. He escaped a while ago and got his tools back and rebuilt the Dreaming.”

Jessamy seemed to sag with relief. “Oh, thank goodness!” She paused and shook her head, then looked up at him again. “I am so relieved. Thank you for telling me - ah, what is your name?”

Matthew bobbed his head. “I’m Matthew, and it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.”

“From… from Lord Morpheus?” Jessamy took a hesitant step towards him.

“Yeah. He misses you a lot. That’s - uh, why I’m here actually.”

Jessamy cocked her head to the side.

“When you were killed you came here instead of going back to the Dreaming because Lord Morpheus was cut off from the realm and it didn’t function right without him. But now that he’s back and has rebuilt it -” Matthew glanced at Death “- Lady Death was kind enough to say you could return.”

Death put her hands on her hips and gave him a wry smile. “You left out the part where you insisted and guilt-tripped me, Matthew.”

Matthew shrugged his wings. “I wanted you to have the credit.”

“I - I can go home?” Jessamy looked from one to another.

Death’s smile warmed and she went down on one knee. “Yes, sweetheart, you can go home if that’s what you want.”

“Oh!” Jessamy hopped towards Death. “Oh, please, my lady! More than anything!”

“You won’t be able to leave,” Death cautioned. “No more flying between realms. You’re still dead, but you can be dead in the Dreaming.”

“I understand!” Jessamy said quickly. “An eternity at home in the Dreaming is all I could ever ask for!”

“Right then.” Death stroked Jessamy’s head again, then stood and snapped her fingers.

Another doorway opened and Matthew could see Lord Morpheus’s throne room on the other side. Lord Morpheus was sitting on the stairs talking to Lucienne when the door caught Lord Morpheus’s attention and he stood with a frown.

“Off you go,” Death said. “Tell Dream I said hello.”

“You’re not coming?” Matthew asked.

“Nah,” she said, scrunching up her nose, “got work to do, and we try not to drop in on each other unannounced. You go enjoy the reunion.”

Jessamy turned and bowed low to Death. “Thank you, my lady. You have my neverending gratitude.”

Death smiled. “You two just take care of my brother.”

Matthew dipped his head. “Thank you, my lady. We will.”

With that, Matthew and Jessamy stepped through the door.

—

As they crossed the threshold Lord Morpheus stopped in his tracks, and his jaw dropped in a silent gasp.

“Jessamy,” he whispered, then turned to Matthew. “Matthew, what is this?”

“It’s me, my lord,” Jessamy said, stepping forward. “Lady Death permitted me to return.”

Lord Morpheus’s breath hitched and he ran forward as Jessamy flew into his arms. He caught her in a hug and dropped to his knees, burying his nose in the feathers of her back.

Matthew watched them, feeling warm from beak to tail feathers.

Lucienne stepped up beside him. “Is that really…” she asked in an undertone.

“Jessamy,” Matthew told her, proudly. “Real, sacrificed-herself-trying-to-save-him, Jessamy.”

“How?” Lucienne asked.

“I had a chat with Death,” Matthew said, his nonchalant tone undermined slightly by his preening. “Pointed out that if the Boss wasn’t locked up when Jessamy was killed, she would have just come back here when she died. So now that the place is fixed up, she should get to come back.”

“Oh, Matthew, well done!”

Lord Morpheus, who had been speaking quietly to Jessamy, looked up, his eyes shining with tears. “Matthew, Jessamy says this was your doing?”

“It was Lady Death, Boss. And she says hi. But I made the suggestion.”

Lord Morpheus held out his hand to Matthew, who flew to it and was brought into an embrace along with Jessamy. He pressed his head against Lord Morpheus’s chest.

“Thank you, Matthew. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Boss.”

He felt a beak combing the feathers at his neck.

“If I had an eternity to choose, I could not find someone better suited for the job of Raven,” Jessamy said.

Matthew was grateful that he couldn’t blush. “Yeah, well, it’ll be nice to have another Raven around the place.”

#matthew the emotional support raven #jessamy the raven #matthew the raven #dream of the endless #the sandman #the sandman netflix #mirokai writes #miro does sandman

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mephinomaly · 5 months

Text

[TL] BIOHAZARD/Prologue

[ This post uses Ois~su ♪ ]

Season: Winter

Time: Early March in the first year of ES’s establishment

Location: In a underground livehouse, one of UNDEAD’s haunts

Keito: (What is that?)

(What the hell is happening…?)

Rei: 『♪~♪~♪』

Kaoru: 『♪♪♪♪♪』

Koga: 『H！E！L！L！』

Adonis: 『S！I！N！G！』

Koga + Adonis: 『We are 『HELLSING』 ...☆』

Keito: I have no idea what’s going on—

HELLSING…? No matter how I look at it, that’s UNDEAD!

Rei: 『♪~♪~♪』

Kaoru: 『♪♪♪♪♪』

Keito: Oi! Listen up!

I know this isn’t a great time but I need to ask you guys something!

Adonis: —Hey. Oogami, Oogami, Hasumi-senpai is in the stage wings making a racket.

I am not sure how our senpais will react to this, so I think we should deal with him before something bad happens.

Koga: Nah, if somethin’ was gonna happen, it woulda happened by now.

Actually, I don’t want this important live t’be interrupted. Guess we’ll have t’see what he wants.

Oi, shitty glasses— Whaddya want?

Can’t you see we’re in the middle of rehearsal?

Keito: Let me make this clear first of all - I have no intention of interrupting your activities. I’m no longer the vice-president of the Student Council so I have no reason to be supervising the activities of problem children like you.

Koga: God, you fuckin’ know how t’waffle on and on. So why are you here if it’s got nothin’ t’do with us? Random person who looks good in glasses, whaddya want, hmmmm?

Keito: Well I don’t see how that’s relevant. We once donned the same costumes and participated in the same activities, and now we share an agency.

And that is precisely why I, as a representative of RhythmLink, have gone out of my way to come ask you this.

Your recent “peculiar activity” has become troublesome for the agency.

Therefore, I’d like to know what’s happening, UNDEAD.

Firstly-, what is “HELLSING”?

Koga: ...

Keito: Why are you keeping quiet, Oogami?

Can’t you explain it to me? After all, as you quite rightly said, you and I are in different units and are complete strangers who–

Adonis: Please wait a moment, Hasumi-senpai. I don’t think Oogami will be able to explain this very well.

Truthfully, we don’t really know what’s going on ourselves—

Koga: Shut it, Adonis. Yer actin’ like a parent who’s watchin’ their kid run their first errand. Stop addin’ unnecessary shit to the conversation.

Adonis: But, Hasumi-senpai will probably be able to offer useful advice—

Koga: Shut up! He fuckin’ said it himself, he ain’t got nothin’ to do with us anymore!

Now you’re actin’ like your our parents and tryna stick your nose in where it doesn’t belong! Stupid shitty glasses.

Keito: That was never my intention… I’m really– no, I mean, I’m worried about you.

I always end up imposing Oogami with heavy burdens that are my own responsibility.

Koga: Oi, don’t apologise! They told me to take it on, and you told me it was a lot anyway!

…Seriously man, don’t worry ‘bout it. HELLSING is just a different name we, UNDEAD, use on stage.

Recently, the hardcore rock image we use on stage versus the stupid silly image we use on like, variety shows is creatin’ a divert… divertent?

Adonis: A divergence?

Koga: Yeah, that! It’s creating a divergence in terms of how we present ourselves, so we thought that we could just use different names whether we’re on stage or doin’ our regular activities!

It’s like those mangas you fuckin’ love so much. They use different names dependin’ on what they’re doin’.

Keito: Umu… I suppose that’s true, as there are mangaka that operate under different pseudonyms based on if they are working on commercial materials or R-18 material.

Though generally, fans can tell from their art style that it is the same person.

Adonis: I don’t know much about manga but. Think of it as a parent company setting up subsidiaries, where each brand markets different things dependent on what activities they engage in.

Our, so to speak, immoral, radical activities will be handled by HELLSING, and our more friendly and palatable activities handled by UNDEAD.

Only what we do and the name has changed, the members remain the same. Me, Oogami, Sakuma-senpai, and Hakaze-senpai.

Keito: So what’s the point in doing all this…?

Koga: Shut uppp, there’s a ton of reasons. I get you’re a producer ‘n all but why’s it any of your business?

Keito: ...

Koga: …It’s whatever, alright?

This is what I wanted. To be honest, the fans are a little confused but everyone else is pretty happy with it.

I feel like I can actually breathe now I’m not bein’ forced t’do stupid varieties shows ‘n shit like that.

So that means it’s a good thing— all of it is.

I said it’s fine so everyone who says otherwise should shaddup!

『♪~♪~♪』

[ ☆ ]

Chapter 1

#ensemble stars #enstars #translation #UNDEAD #rei sakuma #kaoru hakaze #adonis otogari #koga oogami #keito hasumi #flackback #wooo undead climax woooo

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shiftingpath · 5 months

Text

Exalted Secret Santa, 15th Edition

Hello friends!

It's that time again; time to come together over the winter season to make some art of each other's amazing Exalted characters. If you're an artist in the Exalted fandom, here's what you'll need to participate:

1) A working tumblr account. RSVP to me in an ask, message, reply to this post, confirmation in the reblog tags, etc. so I will know to add you to the list. If you submit under a new handle but have participated before, or if your tumblr name has changed, please note the name of the account you will be posting with for the exchange. I like to make sure repeat participants get different assignments and gifts every year; if you have changed names please just remind me a little, so I can ensure you don't get paired with the same person twice.

2) Post a journal to tumblr by December 10th with the descriptions of the character you would like drawn. Include two or three if you have them to give the person drawing for you more options. Please provide all the physical and relevant details needed to draw the character, and provide a reference picture if at all possible. (A piece of your own art, a commission, a play-by picture, etc.)

Also, if you have any strong aversions or phobias that might be important for a stranger drawing your character, please note that in the journal. (For example: “Silent Vortex of the Storm’s left eye is brilliant white-blue like her anima, but her right eye is lost and that side of her face scarred badly. She always wears her eyepatch and a close-fitting hood. (I’d prefer not to see any graphic eye trauma.)”

Just try to make it as easy as possible for your gifter to draw your character!

Tag your journal with #exalted or #exalted secret santa so I can find it (or message me with a link). Once all the journals are up, I’ll make a post compiling the links to them all so they’re easy to find. I will also send you a message through asks or messages with the name of the person you are assigned to draw for. Please try to get your journal up by the 10th so your gifter will have plenty of time to draw for you.

2) Check your messages or ask box for your assignment. I will have this to you on December 11th if at all possible. Let me know if you’re planning to be unavailable for any major length of time just in case I need to get ahold of you for further details. If you have an emergency and cannot finish the trade in time (for example, your tablet or scanner breaks), let me know asap so I can arrange a replacement. Thank you!

3) Submit a piece of finished artwork by January 14th. Please tag your submission with the secret santa tag and your giftee’s name if you wish, or I can notify them once it’s up. When all the gifts are posted, I’ll compile them into a single post so we can all get a good look at them.

Let me know by December 10th and I will have your assignments to you within 24 hours if at all possible. Feel free to message me at any time with any questions.

Sorry, I do not accept writing or mechanics submissions for this Secret Santa (though you are welcome to accompany your picture with some text, and of course welcome to host a writing exchange of your own!)

Happy Calibration,

-Path.

#exalted #exalted secret santa

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socialist-microwave-laser · 7 months

Note

i feel torn. people are telling me i cannot support indigenous people, because i don't agree with accounts like blm chicago over on instagram lying, saying the only israeli hostages are soldiers. because i don't feel okay right now marching alongside people chanting 'gas the jews' and holding up swastikas. i feel gaslit as a jew.

is it true that i can't support indigenous folks while being terrified and mourning for the jewish lives lost? how can we share the powerful art of indigenous americans attacking their colonizers and still hold fear for israeli civilians in our hearts? can both be true at once or am i a hypocrite?

i can't pretend to have all the answers for you nonny, i wish i could. i'll walk you through my thought process from a jewish anarchist standpoint, and hopefully that may help you as well. i definitely got a bit rambly and my response is really long, but i think it's all important so i'm just putting it below a cut!

important note about the ashkenazic slant of my response! [link]

1. indigeneity is much less cut and dry when it comes to eretz israel than it does for, say, america, and it's already complicated enough in america

some people say jews are indigenous to eretz israel, some people say most jews are now colonizers in that land. i think this speaks both to the complicatedness of indigeneity and also the struggle of being a jew. determining who is and isn't indigenous in usamerican territories generally boils down to blood quantum under the eye of the state government ("nation on no map" by wc anderson goes into the issues with this approach very well), when it may be better described as a cultural inheritance. in terms of the history of jews. the european colonizations of basically the entire world is very, very recent. (the second temple fell in 70CE, whereas colón only made first contact with the taíno in october of 1492, coincidentally the year spain began its expulsion of jews from the iberian peninsula. this is especially relevant bc many jews began to flee to "The New World™️" trying to escape constant persecution in europe. there are some writings out of jerusalem from this year describing the diversity of people living there, as well as the oppression of jews by muslims at this time.) if you asked me, i think it's too simplistic to call jews either indigenous to eretz israel or colonizers. jews have been on the move and in diaspora since 70CE, a date that is before even the construction of la pirámide de la luna in teotihuacán (more accurately it'd be at least since the fall of the first temple in 500BCE but w/e). the long and the short of it is that jews left jerusalem before the height of teotihuacán, one of the first states in all of mesoamerica. how far back does this definition of indigeneity go? that's not for any one of us to really ask

(i think there's also an issue of white-presenting/-identifying/-whatever jews and specifically ashkenazim claiming this indigenous label that feels very. idk. it's iffy at best to me)

i think the main takeaway i have for this point is that the binary of colonizer/colonized is a lot more difficult than we'd like to think (for an example that hits closer to home, we can talk about african americans' presence in colonized lands, or natives' ownership of slaves in turn. this isn't "whataboutism," it's me illustrating that binaries hinder in-depth understanding of these categories. this discussion could take up books and is not the focus of this post, but please know this is a topic that is very serious and very very nuanced)

2. anarchism and decolonialism is a process, not a destination, and if anybody tells you they know the perfect say to do either of these processes, run the other way

i've see a lot of people in the past few days gesture to the actions of hamas and say "this is what decolonization looks like," and "nobody ever said decolonization will be pretty." this intersects with my fourth point, so i'll leave it at this: decolonizing eretz israel does not necessitate denying the holocaust, calling for the slaughter of every jew "from the river to the sea" (i recommend y'all look into the history of this term), or threatening to spread videos of the torture and murder of jewish civilian hostages throughout social media. this is when i point to the fact that the area that was attacked a few days ago was actually where a lot of leftists lived. also, that the jewish and/or israeli people have been very outspoken about the many atrocities both domestic and foreign by the israeli government for decades. i would say an alternative to what is happening now may have been to work with those protestors (many of whom have been very vocal about the mistreatment of palestinians bc obviously) or like anything that doesn't include holocaust denialism and the rape, torture, murder, defilement, whatever of civilians and children

3. judaism and anarchism teach us to make our homes in the uncomfortable

i'm comforted by knowing that not knowing the correct solution to things means we're on the right track. it encourages us to collaborate, debate, listen, do research, keep our minds open, learn, whatever. i mean when has a jew ever been like "i have the one answer to this complicated problem" and everybody else was like "yeah sweet okay that's solved?" at least in my studies, i've noted that the jewish tradition includes embracing the discomfort of two things being true at once, or nothing quite feeling like the one right answer. this is also an anarchist tradition (at least in the circles i run in). generally, anarchists have the policy of "if someone says they have the one correct solution, run the opposite direction."

basically what i'm saying is, asking these questions doesn't mean you're a bad jew or a bad activist. we all know why pesach is different than all other nights, yet we ask that question every year, and every year we have a discussion that bears new fruit. (the book that really opened my eyes to the homeyness of the uncomfortable is "brilliant imperfection: grappling with cure" by eli clare)

4. our political motivation must be out of love for each other, not hatred of Them™️

this is the most important takeaway from everything, in my opinion, and also my biggest gripe with the loudest leftists online. this is also something i've written many papers about, but i'll try to keep it brief.

if your idea of revolution is based on simply rooting out those you hate, not only will it be horribly unsustainable but your success will hinge on destroying your own motivating force. if you succeed, the people you hate will no longer be present, and you'll have to either pick a new motivating force or pick a new group of people to hate. to use the ussr as an example (bc the notes on this post are already gonna be nuclear-toxic, so what the hell), the ussr spent a LOT of energy after The Revolution™️ policing, surveilling, terrorizing, jailing, and killing its own people. entire generations were never able to trust others because of the constant fear of stepping out of line and being labeled as a threat. in order to keep the momentum of the state afloat, the ussr had to find new people to hate, and that new people had to come out of their own citizenry. it's a common critique of fascism—that their circle of acceptable people will get smaller and smaller until one day it's only one person, and even that one person won't live up to their own ideals.

basically, a revolution built on the hatred of the other rather than the love of the world is a revolution that, in my mind, is not worth having. that doesn't mean revolution must be 100% violence free, lord knows i don't mean that. but having love for humanity allows us to avoid dehumanizing the other (who oftentimes aren't as Other as we think). a lot of landlords are just everyday people who own one property and do genuinely care about their tenants. a lot of cops did genuinely think they were going to make a positive difference. a lot of israelis are just normal, everyday people like you and me (WITHOUT the luxury of being able to just up and move countries). it's worryingly easy to say someone isn't a real activist because they don't vehemently hate Them™️ but honestly to me that's a sign you're on the right track. i am a proud, usamerica-hating anarchist who already has one arrest under their belt, yet here i am still living in the us. and this isn't a contradiction bc dammit i have to live somewhere, and there's nowhere else for me to go even if i did have the money and means to move.

israelis are human beings, just like you and me, and being torn to bits by the atrocities. these people aren't soldiers, they aren't far right politicians, they aren't anything like that. they're human beings, and we can never forget that

#though i do mention a couple books i am not saying those are the only books to read about this. for one i don't include a book on indigenou #lib. that is at least partially bc i don't want to give off the impression that i'm listing every single book i've ever read #some of this wording is clumsy. please assume good faith as i hope i've demonstrated that i am saying all of this in good faith #anonymous #jumblr #jewish anarchism #medinas israel #israel #am israel chai #palestine #leftist antisemitism #anarchism #decolonization #tsiyyonus definition #sources cited

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