#THEY HIDE THE BASIC MY COMPUTER FROM YOU AND HIDE YOUR FILES WITH A BAD SEARCH BAR
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How To Make Your Code Actually Good
This is about programming structure and organization. Resources online are very sparse, and usually not super helpful. Which was unhelpful to me who was struggling with code organization.
So I wanted to make this, which will explain how best to structure your code based on what I've learned. What I lay out here may not work for everyone but it works well in my experience.
These resources were very helpful for me
Handmade Hero - https://youtu.be/rPJfadFSCyQ
Entity Component System by The Cherno - https://youtu.be/Z-CILn2w9K0
Game Programming Patterns - https://gameprogrammingpatterns.com/
So, let's get started.
So first we need to cover a few terms. These are Decoupling, and Abstraction.
Decoupling
So, when we code there is only so much information we can keep inside of our brain at one time. If we kept all of our code in a single file, we would have to keep in mind every single line of code we have written thus far. Or, more likely, we would actively ignore certain lines that aren't relevant to whichever problem we are trying to solve. And miss possible errors by skipping over lines we didn't know were important.
This is bad, what we need to do is decouple our code. Decoupling just means to break something up.
We need to split our code into smaller more manageable pieces so that we can focus better on it without cluttering up our brain with useless information.
For example lets take into account a basic game loop
int main(){
bool running = true;
// Game init code
while(running){
// Game update code
}
// Game exit code
return 0;
}
Obviously in a real example this would be much larger. So an extremely good start would be moving chunks of code into different functions.
int main(){
bool running = true;
gameInit();
while(running){
gameUpdate();
}
gameExit();
}
Now, when we are working on loading the game, we shouldn't have to think about what's happening in the rest of the app. This may take moving some code around inorder to truly seperate it from the rest of the code. But it is a very worthwhile effort.
Abstraction
Abstraction is when we take complex pieces of code and put them inside of a function or structure to make that feature easier to use. Or to hide tiny details that would be a waste of time to type out over and over.
For example programming languages are abstracted away from Assembly. Which of course is a thin abstraction away from machine code.
Now abstraction is great, computer science is practically built ontop of abstracting away small details. but the point I'd like to make here is that you can go too crazy with abstraction.
If you are making a gui application, and you need to create a new button. And to do so you need to run a function that returns a new class that you pass into another function that returns a pointer to an app state that you use with the original class to interact with a gui state that takes in a general state class and a position.
You have abstracted too far away to actually getting that button on screen. And due to all the hoops your code has to go through you will face major performance hits as well. And nobody likes a slow program.
Generally my rule of thumb is one layer of abstraction. Obviously for really complex stuff like graphics more abstraction is required. But for our own apps we should strive to as little abstraction as possible. Which makes code more clear and easier to debug, if a little more verbose at times.
Note that breaking things up into other files and functions are pretty cheap abstraction/performance wise. But the number of steps your code has to go through is what's important. Like the number of objects you have to go through, and functions you have to run.
Now these are good general tips for programming. There are also other good tips like consistent naming conventions, and consistent function names and argument patterns. But that's all pretty basic good-programming-things-you-should-do.
Now when I was learning this sort of stuff, I got told a lot of the stuff I just put above. But the biggest question I had was "but where do I PUT all of my code?"
As projects grow in complexity, figuring out sane ways to organize your structures and code logic in a way that makes sense is pretty tricky.
So to kinda crystallize how I think about code organization is basically.
Pick a pattern, and stick to it
A design pattern is just a piece of code structure you repeat. And there are lots of smart people that have come up with some pretty smart and flexible patterns. Like entity component systems, and state machines.
But sometimes you have to figure out your own, or modify existing patterns. And the best way to do that is to not plan at all and jump right in.
Do a rough draft of your app just to get a general idea of what you are going to need your pattern to support. And you may have to build up a pattern, find out it sucks, and start over. The trick is to fail fast and fail often.
Grabbing some paper and trying to diagram out how you want your app to flow is also handy. But getting your hands dirty with your keyboard is the best.
Now if you are new to programming, the above method probably wont work the first time. The only way to really learn code architecture is by building apps, and when you are first starting out many of your apps are probably falling apart early on. But the more you build these apps the more you learn. The bigger the apps you make, the more you learn.
But there is something that's also very helpful.
Steal somebody else's pattern!
So I can explain this best with an example. I make games, and the complexity I have to deal with is having multiple game objects that can all interact with each other fluidly. Enemies, the player, collectibles, moving platforms. This is a pretty tricky task, and I wound up picking two patterns to follow.
The first one is a modified version of a State Machine that I call a Scene Manager.
A scene is essentially a structure that contains an init, update, and exit function and can store data relating to the scene. And I have a Scene Manager that I can dynamically load and unload scenes with. So if I need to create a main menu or a pause menu it's as easy as loading a scene.
For my actual game scene I chose to use an Entity Component System. I linked a video above that explains it very well. To summarize, an ECS use entities. Entities can contain data called components. And systems will grab any entity that has the required components and will modify that entity. For example a Move system will operate on any entities that have the Position and Velocity components.
And this has worked very well for my game. Now this doesnt solve every problem I had. I still had to fill in the gaps with code that doesnt 100% match the pattern. After all there isnt any pattern that will fix all possible issues a codebase needs to solve. For example to delete an entity I have to add it by reference to an array where it is deleted AFTER the game is done updating.
Elsewhere I used a bit of abstraction to make creating entities easier. For example i created a class that stores methods to create entities. Whereas before I was manually adding components to empty structures.
Decoupling entity creation meant I could focus on more important things. I also deal with window resizing and rendering in a layer outside of the scene. In a way that would affect all Scenes.
An Example
In the game I'm making, the most complex part of the program so far is the player update code. Which makes sense for a platformer. So the issue is simple, it's getting too long. But the other issue is things are in places that don't immediately make sense. And it's all packed inside a single function.
You can view the code as it is now here.
Our goal is to decouple the code into pieces so that it takes up less brain space. And to reorganize the function so it's layout makes more immediate sense.
So my first step is to figure out a logical way to organize all of this code. My plan is to split it up by player actions. This way all of the jump logic is inside it's own function. All of the shooting logic is in it's own function etc.
Here is the code after implimenting the pattern.
Notice how this decouples the code into more manageable pieces so we can work on it better. Also note how I am still keeping one layer of abstraction from the player update code. I also put it in a seperate file to slim down the systems file.
So the method I implemented here of observing a problem, coming up with a pattern, and implementing it. That at a larger scale is how to overall structure a good code base. Here in this small instance I found a working solution first try. But for more complex code you may have to try multiple different patterns and solutions before you find what works best.
And that's all I have to say. I hope it made sense, and I hope it helps you. Let me know if I should change anything. Thanks for reading!
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Why you should clear your brain’s cache and cookies
A Rant About Shrooms, AI Art, Trauma, and Appreciating Life
Hey look at this image. You shouldn’t trust evolutionary psychology people because it’s often Just So Stories people make up, but that doesn’t mean we should throw out the baby with the bath water so let’s talk about the evolutionary importance of ✨PATTERN RECOGNITION ✨
Okay so the tiger in the picture above is trying to hide so it can eat us, and we’re trying to see it so we can avoid being eaten. Great. Cool. That means there’s a VERY important part of our brains that has evolved to look at noisy images and play “find the tiger”. (It works for non-visual stuff too, we’ll get to that.)
This is also how AI-generated art works, basically. You give a computer some random static and then say “somewhere in this image is [insert prompt], find it” and it tries very hard to do so, like when you point out shapes in clouds to someone.
Our brains work via committee, so the part that’s doing that kind of pattern recognition and visual processing isn’t really any smarter than something like Google Deep Dream which you can hand a picture of some dude and say “FIND THE DOGS” and it’ll give you this:
People have compared images like the one above to being on shrooms and, having now taken shrooms for the first time I can say I get the comparison. What’s important, though, is WHY this seems to be the case. So far as I can tell (I’ll say this disclaimer once, I am some random dude on Tumblr and this is an anecdote, not scientific data - your experiences and brain chemistry may vary, do your research, I am not endorsing anything illegal, etc.) what happens on shrooms isn’t you being high, in the traditional sense.
Some drugs interfere with your perception and processing of the world. That’s what I was expecting, and for a moment it’s what I thought I was getting. But instead, I think what the shrooms did was delete my brain’s config file.
So now you’ve lost all the built up definitions and stored patterns, and you look at the walls and your brain no longer knows if there’s something important in all the detail. Is there a tiger hiding in there? WHO KNOWS! And it takes all those little swirls and textures in the plaster or paint and starts over-processing all of it looking for patterns. This means you don’t so much “come down” from being high, but finish re-calibrating. At some point your brain is all, “Hey I’ve determined that’s just a normal texture for the ceiling to have, I’m not going to look that closely anymore”.
Okay but what does that have to do with trauma and appreciating life?
So glad you asked, hypothetical reader.
As I mentioned above, it’s not just visual stuff that we look for patterns in. From an evolutionary standpoint it’s super valuable to be able to say “hey I ate that plant and then got sick, those are probably related and I shouldn’t eat that anymore”. But there’s two big problems with that. The first is that as with the visual processing that one part of your brain on its own isn’t smart. It’s an algorithm, not an entire brain, so it fucks up sometimes.
I know a guy that couldn’t check his mail, because he’d been in really bad debt for a while and the fear of losing his home and the hounding by debt collectors traumatized him so badly that his brain said “Man every time we look at the stuff that comes in the mail we get SO UPSET! Better avoid looking at mail!” which meant when someone put envelopes down on top of the groceries (meaning he’d have to pick up what might be bills to get to the food) he found himself thinking “maybe I should just order pizza” even though he knew how stupid that was. Trauma is a bitch, y’all.
The other thing is that sometimes the pattern was valid but is simply no longer useful. The context has changed, and now it’s getting in the way rather than helping... but your brain doesn’t have a reset button. Well, not a built-in one... but turns out this shit does the trick:
This is a PB&J&M sandwich I ate yesterday. Ignore the chipped plate. It made me feel kinda queasy all day, and at first I was disappointed. I felt a little floaty and wobbly and things did start to look a little interesting, and I was having a nice time, but it wasn’t the mind-blowing experience I’d been hoping for. And then the shrooms finished deleting all my stored patterns.
You know that stoner thing where they’re like “dude this cat is, like, so soft. Why can’t we all just love each other and pet cats?” and you roll your eyes at them? Yeah, well, the thing to know is that’s not them being stoned, that’s them seeing the world with a fresh perspective and realizing that, yeah, cats ARE soft and we don’t appreciate that enough and man why CAN’T we just relax and love each other?
In other words, it’s not distorting your perception - it’s resetting it. You get to experience that wonder and joy of seeing things for the first time, and it’s lovely. There are so many details that your brain files away as unimportant - it’s busy checking for tigers, who cares about appreciating the grass? I had a great talk with my daughter (side disclaimer, she’s an adult and I was totally lucid by then and I cleared it with my designated babysitter first) and got to really see her as an adult for the first time. Kids grow up a little at a time and it’s wild to be able to wipe out the “yeah, yeah, that’s your kid, you know what they look like” thing and SEE them, see how they’ve grown and what they really look like as a whole adult person.
I also realized I wasn’t being fair with her. She’s had issues I won’t go into here, she’s done some dangerous or irresponsible shit like most kids have and I was still filled with parental anxiety about that and was viewing her through that filter. What is she up to? Is she acting squirrely? She hasn’t been home for a few days and now she’s all manic, is she safe? Is she fucking up? Am I fucking up by letting her fuck up?
And with that filter erased, I could see... she’s a good kid. She’s manic because she has ADHD and decided she doesn’t want to take meds. She has some issues, but she’s an adult now and those aren’t my business anymore; those are now her adult issues that she can work on in her own time and her own way. I can finally look at her as... not a peer, she’s still my kid, but as a complete adult person that I don’t need to fix and can just love and support.
It’s like Marie Kondo came into my brain and was like “hey does this pattern you’re viewing everything through spark joy? No? Okay let’s thank it for its service and send it on its way.”
And this is why people use shrooms to treat trauma. I’m not saying it’s a magic cure-all, I’m not saying that it will work for everyone, but... man it’s pretty great to clear things out. That sense of wonder and appreciation is already fading, but it’s not that the shrooms are wearing off - the wipe was an event not a condition - it’s just the normal process of my brain filing things away as “not a tiger” and ignoring them again.
It’s like those power washing videos. You scour off the accumulated grime, and then the grime starts to build up again but at least you get it nice and clean for now and were reminded that, hey, that can look pretty nice. I can see why people say not to do them too often, as wonderful as my experience was there just wouldn’t be a point in doing it again right away. Maybe in a few months, who knows.
Final thoughts and warnings
I was queasy the whole day, longer than most people seem to experience. It didn’t bother me much, I never felt like I was in danger of throwing up although I know people who have. If you’re worried about it there are ways around that, it’s caused by the actual mushrooms rather than the active chemicals so you can (supposedly) make a sort of tea and strain out the actual mushroom bits.
I tried watching some of those trippy videos, and that was a mistake. There was too much visual stimulation and the disconnect of “wait it looks like we’re flying through a psychedelic landscape of fractals but it feels like we’re just sitting in a chair” made me feel antsy and uncomfortable. Turns out it’s better to just look at something fairly boring and let your brain over-analyze it.
Have a babysitter. My wonderful supportive wife was mine, and I ended up not needing one but frankly that might be my own strange brain. I’ve always had a strong separation between the main “thinking” part of my brain and the rest, so there wasn’t really any chance I would mistake my altered state for normal life. Better safe than sorry though, especially at first.
Do your research. Don’t go for the highest dose you can in search of some crazy trip - the best thing is the mental refresh, not seeing the walls move. I took 3.5g, just for reference.
Plan for it to take up your whole day AND to be kinda tired the day after. Think of it like taking a sick day, you’re going to want to spend most of the time just laying back and dozing on the couch.
Be in a good mood, and a place that makes you feel good. Lots of people suggest being out in nature, I can imagine that would be really nice.
Be extremely cautious when combining shrooms with other things. Don’t do it on purpose - it’s not needed, I promise - and do your research if you’re on anti depressants because while it seems mostly safe there’s theoretically a chance of having a bad interaction like serotonin syndrome. My own research has implied that’s probably not an actual concern but I’m just some guy on Tumblr and you shouldn’t trust me.
Don’t use drugs if you’re under 20, don’t do illegal stuff, don’t blame me if you fuck yourself up. I will not under any circumstances assist anyone in obtaining shrooms. All I’ll say is they’re legal in some places and if you don’t live in one of those places you’re on your own. While they do grow naturally in some places, so do mushrooms that will fucking kill you - and it can be hard to tell the difference. Don’t eat random mushrooms, ever.
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Darktale
Welcome to-
[ERROR]
🇮🇹 🇦🇵🇵🇪🇦🇷🇸 🇹🇭🇦🇹 🇾🇴🇺🇷 🇬🇦🇲🇪 🇫🇮🇱🇪, 🇺🇳🇩🇪🇷🇹🇦🇱🇪, 🇭🇦🇸 🇨🇴🇷🇷🇺🇵🇹🇪🇩.
🇱🇴🇦🇩 🇬🇦🇲🇪?
.
.
.
🇱🇴🇦🇩🇪🇩.
🇼🇪🇱🇨🇴🇲🇪 🇹🇴⦂ 🇩🇦🇷🇰🇹🇦🇱🇪.
*Cue you getting bodily dragged through your computer screen and into the game.*
darktale, always seen in lowercase, is one of my many Undertale AUs and the one I'm currently hyperfixating on.
The history behind darktale is simply this:
You run 999 genocide routes.
The game file gets corrupt, becoming darktale.
You get dragged into the game.
You have to survive in a world where all of the monsters are varying levels of predatory and dangerous- which is shown quite clearly from the colour they radiate
Sans appears to be the only truly "nice" one.
But it's all just deception. Really, really good deception :]
darktale Sans, Dawn, is a highly-manipulative, cunning motherfucker who's playing the role of an Endurance Hunter.
He'll make you run and run and hide and exhaust you until you can't move or do anything to fight back and then and only then will he strike.
Dawn is always one step ahead of basically everyone.
However, for all his manipulativeness, he's... actually not too bad. He's a master of deception, sure, and he'll make you think he likes you when he really doesn't- but if he does genuinely like you, then he is the most adorably protective idiot on this side of the multiverse.
He's that cat that ends up in your lap and you have no idea when he got there but he's there.
Dawn won't drop his deceptive habits. Not easily, anyhow, and I can imagine a relationship with him being difficult in the ways of not always knowing whether he's being honest with his emotions.
He has... major communication issues that literally consist of him forgetting to tell you/communicate to you about how he's feeling.
He's also a silly goof, and radiates blue- indicating that he is The Most Dangerous monster in his Underground.
( he's technically also partially-mostly-kinda-sorta yandere as well- but a wholesome one??? )
#undertale fandom#sans x reader#darktale sans#darktale#He's a manipulative motherfucker#And a sentimental bastard if you will#Nah but any relationship with him is a slowburn#But he's worth it#Usually#If you like slightly-yandere boys#Who can read you like a friggin' book#Dawn Sans
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Some questions related to the topic but not very much related to each other:
Do you two-box? Followup: would you eat meat at events where your actions are not observed?
Do you have any preferences not about your sensory experience that you think other people should follow? Are all situations where your sensory experience is identical morally equivalent with respect to you?
How much trust do you have in your computer's security - infinite?
I literally have no ability to evaluate the difference between two situations that seem identical to them. This is a tautological feature of "seeming identical". Anyone who thinks they can is insane.
Two boxing involves an omniscient entity that can actually observe my behavior, so of course I only choose one box. Again, it's right there in the stated premise.
I eat meat at events where I am being observed, and am open about being a meat eater. Were I vegetarian, it would be because I personally feel bad eating meat, and I obviously can't hide my meat eating from myself.
Fair point about computer security, but that seems like a hell of an edge case. It's a good argument against keeping anything private on my phone, but it seems extremely unlikely that anyone is going to hack my desktop at home.
For further relevance on computer security: I actually do know how to encrypt files, so yeah, basically infinite. If someone is rubber-hosing me for a file I downloaded off the internet, something has gone remarkably off the rails and I don't see any value incorporating that into my planning. (I realize encryption is not perfect, but there are way easier methods of getting pictures of my exes naked)
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FILE J.ONE - PT.1
(”I mean if you’re going to hack into my software might as well give me head first.”)
1 - 2 + UPDATE
WARNINGS- smut, mentions of pedophilia, porn, bad language, and over all not kid friendly writing!
Pairing- Han Jisung (Of StrayKids X OC/you)
Genre- Hacker AU, highschool AU, comedy, and romance.
WC- 2K
SUMMARY-
Being a well experienced hacker and coder with too much time on your hands is an interesting hobby, especially interesting when you leave your computer in your school's robotics club and come back to a strange new malware taking over your system. Who in the robotics club is responsible? Who is trying to watch me? And why?
File title; Han Jisung. Age; 17, occupation; student enrolled at Seoul high school, alias; J.ONE.
Normal kid with a normal cyber background, seemingly there was nothing special about Jisung. Except for the alarming amount of porn he watches, although I didn't expect much coming from the vice president of Seoul high school’s robotics club.
The entire robotics club was almost built like a mini nerd cult. They never spoke to anyone other than each other during break times, the only thing making them noticeable was the fact some of their members were drop dead gorgeous. The group consisted of 8 members, all of which I've done extensive cyber background checks on.
The president or leader of the robotics club was our school's valedictorian, Christopher “Chan” Bang. Most people called him Chan since he refused to ever hear his legal name, I wouldn't want to be called Christopher either. Online or during coding he used the name CB97. He started the robotics club back in his freshman year, now that he’s graduating he’s training Jisung to take his place for the younger members. I found that out after finding a file titled, “Jisung’s growing up:(“. Other than that I found basic coding cheats for password hacking and how to take down viruses, nothing any other coding lover wouldn't have. I only found him suspicious because in order to dig my way into his system I had to jump over two firewalls, for a second I was nervous the walls were used as distractions while viruses were being downloaded onto my software. Nope. That is what made Chan even then the more interesting, he’s not smart enough to program malware, but smart enough to hide something.
Lee Minho took the cake for the most I had found out of any of the members, certainly not anything useful but enough to make my jaw drop just a little bit. Minho, also known as, Lee Know online, had a porn and gambling addiction at just 17. Thousands of dollars spent on cam girls in the past year not even noting how much was spent on online slot machines. Unlike Chan he had only one singular firewall setup and even so it wasn't the strongest, the basic kind of software you pay some DnD kid to install for you. I suppose a lot of people who find out about another person's addictions might actually want to use it for leverage, though blackmail isn't what I was looking for. I just wanted to know who the fuck installed this malware onto my computer. Lee Minho was off the hook, although I did make sure therapist’s will pop up in his recommendations throughout all of his social medias. I think he may need it.
Seo Changbin, SPEARB, has one of the most boring files I have ever witnessed. Yes, he did partake in illegal activity but not to the degree Minho does. The only differentiating factor between the two was Changbin had a girlfriend, making his porn searches much lower than the rest. It wasn't hard to tell when I stumbled across the homemade porn videos uploaded to his iCloud of the two, she definitely was beautiful. Inside and out, if you know what I mean. His search history consists of lists of car parts and gym plans. Now, the only thing I can see Changbin doing behind the police’s back is back street car racing. Which for the record was something I truly did admire, so I spent a little bit extra time looking at pictures of his cars and all the mods he had changed on it. Based on this I think it was the only reason why he joined the robotics club to begin with, it gave him an opportunity to get ahold of the tools he needed without seeming strange. He wasn't the one I was looking for.
Hwang Hyunjin was a different type of boy. He was so attractive it made me blush a little bit to go through his belongings, I got to see a different side to him and to say I wasn't a little giddy was a lie. I liked going through him the most because he was definitely more clever. His passwords were much larger and harder to decipher, meaning it took my software and little longer to get through. I knew Hyunjin was a ladies man, I mean we all did. You would have to be socially stupid to not see how women flock to him like sheep, and he was good at it too. He knew exactly how to get them wrapped around his finger. He had this sort of ego online, Jiniret. He would talk to women through online dating apps, pretending to be older or even sometimes someone he wasn't at all. Whatever type of men these women were looking for they could find in Hyunjin. He was so sly with his words these women would do anything for him, send him money, buy him clothing or food, these women were utterly in love with Jiniret. I think the worst thing I had found was recent searches of plastic surgery doctors for cheap prices in Seoul. Was he saving up the money he earned from these women to change his appearance? Fortunately, Jiniret was not the criminal I was looking for.
Lee Felix for the most part was completely normal, for a long time Felix wasn't even on the list of suspects. The only reason I had even searched for him was because he was a part of Chan’s group, making him an associate. Though fortunately I found nothing, nothing besides a pile of gay porn and test anwers for every chemistry test he has taken so far. For now, I left Felix alone. Although for safe measures I kept in touch with his digital footprint.
Min Seungmin or known as PuppyM, was also a suspect I was less worried about. Yet again another straight A student with a perfect school record. Seungmin had a very clear interest in coding, like he had joined the group for what Chan had intended it to be. That's what Seungmin wanted everyone to believe he was, PuppyM on the other hand was some sort of viglianti online. PuppyM finds pedoflies on all platforms and baits them as a 10 year old girl, once he becomes closer with these men he lures them into cyberattacks. He gains their IP address and all data proof of their crimes and anonymously sends them to law enforcement. PuppyM was well respected and admired in this community, which was such a difference from Seungmin. What was even more surprising was he had let the youngest member in on what he had been doing, something the others hadn't done.
The youngest being Yang Jeongin, a freshman new to the club. He joined robotics a couple months ago, I found some searches in his Google history of coding basics, which then lead me to believe Jeongin was completely new to coding and just joined to make new friends. This led my attention away from Jeongin and towards the older members, that was until I found messages between Seungmin and himself. Only two months into their meeting, Seungmin had come clean about everything he had been doing in his free time, offering to recruit him and take him under his wing. Jeongin seemed nervous at first and thought that doing something as risky as this was simply too much for him. Everything in the span of a month had changed, he went from making small actions online to big movements. It started with only speaking to one man at a time to speaking to multiple and even running fake group chats for pedophiles. PuppyM and FoxI.Ny were the perfect duo to make the internet a cleaner place for children.
Han Jisung. J.ONE. No one has ever sent me more in a loop than he has. Jisung was no criminal, or at least with anything I had found. Though, Jisung was more clever and protective than any of the boys had been. Jisungs passwords were extensive and detailed, a long series of numbers mixed in with symbols and letters. Behind the passwords were firewalls and traps to gain IP addresses of hackers. So not only was I not able to access as much as I had wanted, but when I got as far as his messages and search history there was nothing. Nothing. No strange texts, Google searches, no dating apps, only him and his dominatrix porn. I was angry with myself for not searching harder or not even knowing enough to get past his walls, but it was too much of a risk. I was ultimately stuck, with all of the boys I had come up with explanations for their behavior easily, though Jisung seemed too innocent. Why have an alias when you're committing no crimes? Why be so secretive when there's nothing to hide? But that was exactly it. There IS something to hide.
The blue light on my computer was starting to strain my eyes after going over my notes of the boys over and over. I was trying my hardest to make the connections I hadn't seen the first time, but nothing. I felt a little helpless but I still had options left.
Last week I bought a computer from the pawnshop, one of those Microsoft surface computers. When I had initially bought the computer they let me know the motherboard was completely busted, the previous owner had brought it in because of the infamous “Blue Screen of Death”. I thought it would be a fun side project and something to keep my mind busy, all things I desperately needed.
After further inspection I noticed there were partially connected cables, improperly seated components, and electrical spikes and power surges. All causes for a motherboard to crash easily. I thought this would be an easy fix, though the tool I needed most was the one I didn't have.
After school yesterday I thought I’d take the computer to the robotics club, thinking out of everyone they would be able to help with what I needed. When I had initially walked in the room none of the members were present, so at first I felt a little awkward walking in and using their tools without permission. I stood around the door for a few seconds hoping someone would show up, but atlas no one did. In my panic I decided, “Who’s going to notice?”.
After placing my personal computer and backpack on the table I began searching for the labeled baskets with the metal rods. I found the right size and started my work fixing my new motherboard. As I’m thinking back and retracing my footsteps I’m quite angry for being so careless with something as precious as my computer. Because ultimately I misplaced my computer and left it on the desk I was occupying. I wasn't so nervous someone would try and steal it because I was lucky enough to have my name engraved on the bottom right hand corner. Nor was I nervous that someone would be able to get into my computer, because just as I am able to get into peoples files, I am able to protect my own.
As embarrassing as it is, I was completely confident nothing would happen until it did. The next morning when I went to claim my lost belongings I noticed a strange file that had not been there the day before. The file wasn’t edited to have a name, only titled the the files location. I knew I was fucked the moment I clicked it and the file was nothing besides a yoga program. I was fucked because I don't do yoga, I am the furthest away from active. Someone installed a Trojan virus.
Trojan viruses are a type of malware that invade your computer disguised as real, operational programs. Once a trojan is inside your system, it can perform destructive actions before you even know it’s there. Once inside, some trojans sit idly on your computer and wait for further instructions from its host hacker, but others begin their malicious activity right from the start. So whoever the fuck did this, did it for a purpose. They need something from me and that’s exactly what I needed to figure out.
The robotics club became the first line of suspects from the start. Not only are they the only ones that could have had the opportunity to do this, seeing as though they meet early before school, but also the skill. That’s what led me here. Analyzing each member as if I’m the FBI, because I’m about to rain cyber hell on whoever is responsible.
DING.
HI, INDIGOBUNNY. HAVE YOU DECIDED WHICH ONE OF US DID IT?
BTW YOU LOOK INSATIONALLY PRETTY TONIGHT:)
Who the fuck?!
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I hope you guys liked the first chapter of this new mini series I’m starting!! I really love this one from the bottom of my heart. Stay healthy Buns, I love you! As always here is a little visual of Jisung during this fanfic!
#straykids#jisung#han jisung#bang chan#lee know#changbin#lee felix#hwang hyunjin#kim seungmim#i.n stray kids#jisung x reader#han#fanfic#straykids fanfic
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You Can't Outrun Your Past, No Matter How Hard You Try...
So, I got a DM from someone looking for an old fanfic of mine - or, they didn't know if I was the author, but were looking up stuff from the old Live Journal days and found me somehow - managed to connect my regular pename to my account here - well, I do mention it on my pin-post. They were looking for a particular old fanfic and I was all "Okay, that sounds vaguely familiar" but I couldn't find it.
I googled the title mentioned and... promptly had a thousand-yard stare.
I used to get up to some seriously fucked up shit in my early Trigun fandom days in the early 2000's.
So, I had one of those experiences that fell into the annals of "this is why I do not do co-writing." It took a bad experience in the She-Ra and the Princesses of Power fandom to finally solidify that, but I really should have learned back then. I have had more bad experiences co-writing than good ones (although there is a Zelda fic I do not regret co-creating and a pretty good Super Smash short I did with someone I'm still friends with). Anyway, I did this fic back in the day with someone whom I eventually had a huge falling out with and hope to never see hide nor hair of again in my entire life - and, if possible, I'd like to continue that relationship of no-contact into the afterlife, should one exist. The falling out wasn't over this fic we created together, it was over a variety of other things that happened later and I can admit that there were two assholes in the equation, not just one - I was just as much of an asshole as my former friend.
Anyway, indeed, I am the co-author of some fic that... people still talk about, I guess? titled "Dark Mirror." As I remember it - being that I erased its presence from the Internet as much as I could and no longer retain files (if I ever kept any, they were several computers and virus-attacks / hard drive reworkings ago), it was a WEIRD fic.
I remember it being a take on the "Dark Vash" toy repaint. It involved Vash going evil, but not of his own choice. He basically got Plant-rabies. He got a fungal disease that was slowly killing him and eating his brain.
He also found a somehow Survived!The!Big!Fall! Rem (coldsleep pods, baby)! who reunited with him, tried to help him find the cure and they fell in adult-style love. BLECK!!! WHY?! YOUNG SHADSIE, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!!!! YOU WERE INSANE!
(In my defense, I have figured out exactly what mental illness I had / have and have gotten medication and treatment, thank you).
I also seem to recall that most of the idea - certainly the structure of the Plant-fungal disease (which was actually one of the cooler ideas in it) was courtesy of the person known as "MillyFan" (or as I'd like to call them today, the Motherfucker). I think Vash / Rem was their idea, too, but I can't be sure. It was entirely my fault for going along with it. Certain stupid cameos from other animes were my fault, I recall that. (I was trying to insert Haibane Renmei characters into the whole mess for some reason).
I... feel like taking a shower now. I already took one today...
Anyway, I have a lot more weirdness and "What was I thinking?!" stories that do actually still exist on my old fanfiction.net account if anyone is interested in those. I have one where Legato propositions Vash for sex in a dingy hotel (Vash runs away very quickly). I have one where a woman that Midvalley got pregnant confronts him and he preforms an abortion by saxophone. I have this one really annoying anti-Vashwood piece back when I was an annoying little shit about Vashwhood. I have one that I actually recently re-read in thinking I could transfer it to Ao3 that isn't so bad, but I was overdramatic and predictable about Vash getting a pet cat. (You know the cat is doomed from the start, right? Very "Does the Dog Die?" stuff. Blech).
I really like to think that I have become... a much better writer than from my early days. Please stick to my Ao3 page to see anything that I think is actually halfway decent in this fandom.
#trigun#personal#my old trigun fanfiction#I am Shadsie#if you see old Trigun stuff under the username Shadsie it is me#unless there is another person by the same name I don't know about#I know that there is some author who goes by Shadsie in Harry Potter fandom from googling#that is NOT me#I was never into HP fandom#I was also LadyShadowcat#Shadowcat#and LushDesolation#I have apologized to both Vash and Rem for Dark Mirror#just in case they actually exist in another universe#or will exist in the future
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🔐 Why You (Probably) Don't Need A VPN
A rant by a software engineer sick of VPN ads from her favourite YouTubers
TL;DR:
Here are some legitimate reasons the average internet user might want to use a VPN:
To connect to their company's internal network
To bypass the Great Firewall of China (or other types of website blocks at country or organisation level)
To watch Netflix etc as if you were in another country
Here are absolutely rubbish reasons to use a VPN:
Privacy
And today, I'll tell you why.
Hang on, won't a VPN stop hackers from stealing my passwords?
I mean, it does encrypt the web traffic coming from your device.
You know what else encrypts web traffic coming from your device? Your browser.
Yes, in the year 2021, pretty much all websites on the internet are accessed over HTTPS. The "S" stands for "secure", as in "your request will be securely encrypted". If your browser is using HTTPS, nobody can capture the data you're sending over the internet. More detail in the "I like too much detail" section at the bottom of this post.
It's very easy to check if you are using HTTPS by looking at your URL bar. In most browsers, it will have a lock on it if secure:
(From top left to bottom right: Chrome on iOS, Safari on iOS, Chrome on Windows, Edge on Windows, Firefox on Windows, and Safari on Mac. Screenshots reflect the UI at the time this post was written. Oh gosh this has taken over 4 hours to write.)
But isn't moar encryption better? What if somebody breaks HTTPS?
For starters, nobody's breaking your HTTPS, and there isn't any benefit from double encrypting. This is because of the maths behind encryption/decryption!
Encryption works kinda like a lock and key, except the lock is maths and the key is a special number only known to the person allowed to unlock the information.
The important thing is, without the key, all the locked data looks like complete and utter garbage. Completely unusable. Barely distinguishable from random noise. There's absolutely no way to tell what the original data was.
The other important thing is that the key is nearly unguessable. As in, with current technology, will generally take more than the lifetime of the universe to guess by chance. And when technology gets faster, we just make the numbers bigger again until they're once again secure.
For any major website you use, they will use a strong encryption algorithm (ie lock) with big numbers so your keys will be strong enough to withstand an attack. This means your data is safe as long as that lock icon is in your URL bar.
A VPN will not make the existing garble any more garbled. The extra $10/month or whatever you're paying for does not buy you any extra protection.
If you want to know more about how encryption and HTTPS in particular work, see the "I like too much detail" section at the end of this post.
Something something viruses
How's a VPN going to stop viruses? It controls the path your internet traffic takes, not the content that gets sent down that path. I guess it could block some known virus-giving hosts? But if it's known to the VPN provider, it's probably also known to the built-in antivirus on your computer who can block it for you.
(Oh yeah, 3rd party antivirus is another thing that's not worth paying for these days. Microsoft's built-in Windows Defender is as good as the third party options, and something something Macs don't get viruses easily because of how they're architected.)
Honestly though, keep your software up to date, don't click on anything suspicious, don't open files from sources you don't trust, and you'll be right most of the time.
And keep your software up to date. Then update your software. Hey, did I mention keeping your stuff updated? Update! Now! It only takes a few minutes. Please update to the latest version of your software I'm begging you. It's the number 1 way to protect yourself from viruses and other malware. Most major software attacks could have been prevented if people just updated their damn software!
But my ISP is spying on me!
Ok, it is true that there are TWO bits of data that HTTPS can't and won't hide. Those are:
The source of a request (your IP)
What website that request is going to (the website's IP)
These are the bits of information that routers use to know where to send your data, so of course they can't be hidden as the data is moving across the internet. And people can see that information very easily if they want to.
Note: this will show which website you're going to, but not which page you're looking at, and not the content of that page. So it will show that you were on Tumblr, but will not show anyone that you're still reading SuperWhoLock content in 2021.
It's this source/destination information that VPNs hide, which is why they can be used to bypass website blocks and region locks.
By using a VPN, those sniffing traffic on your side of the VPN will just show you connecting to the VPN, not the actual website you want. That means you can read AO3 at work/school without your boss/teachers knowing (unless they look over your shoulder of course).
As for those sniffing on the websites end, including the website itself, they will see the VPN as the source of the connection, not you. So if you're in the US and using a VPN node in the UK, Netflix will see you as being in the UK and show you their British library rather than the American one.
If this is what you're using a VPN for and you think the price is fair, then by all means keep doing it! This is 100% what VPNs are good for.
HOWEVER, and this is a big "however", if it's your ISP you're trying to hide your internet traffic from, then you will want to think twice before using a VPN.
Let me put it this way. Without a VPN, your ISP knows every website you connect to and when. With a VPN, do you know who has that exact same information? The VPN provider. Sure, many claim to not keep logs, but do you really trust the people asking for you to send them all your data for a fee to not just turn around and sell your data on for a profit, or worse?
In effect, you're trading one snooper for another. One snooper is heavily regulated, in many jurisdictions must obey net neutrality, and is already getting a big fee from you regardless of where you browse. The other isn't. Again, it's all a matter of who you trust more.
For me personally, I trust my ISP more than a random VPN provider, if for no other reason than my ISP is an old enough company with enough inertia and incompetence that I don't think they could organise to sell my data even if they wanted to. And with the amount of money I'm paying them per month, they've only got everything to lose if they broke consumer trust by on-selling that data. So yeah, I trust my ISP more with my privacy than the random VPN company.
But my VPN comes with a password manager!
Password managers are great. I 100% recommend you use a password manager. If there's one thing you could do right now to improve your security (other than updating your software, speaking of, have you updated yet?), it's getting and using a password manager.
Password managers also come for free.
I'm currently using LastPass free, but am planning to switch after they did a bad capitalism and only let their free accounts access either laptop or mobile but not both now. I personally am planning to move to Bitwarden on friends' recommendation since it's not only free but open source and available across devices. I also have friends who use passbolt and enjoy it, which is also free and open source, but it's also a bit DIY to set up. Great if you like tinkering though! And there are probably many other options out there if you do a bit of googling.
So, yeah, please use a password manager, but don't pay for it unless you actually have use for the extra features.
No I really need to hide my internet activity from everybody for reasons
In this case, you're probably looking for TOR. TOR is basically untraceable. It's also a terrible user experience for the most part because of this, so I'd only recommend it if you need it, such as if you're trying to escape the Great Firewall. But please don't use it for Bad Crimes. I am not to be held liable for any crime committed using information learned from this post.
Further reading viewing
If you want to know more about why you don't need a VPN, see Tom Scott's amazing video on the subject. It's honestly a great intro for beginners.
I like too much detail
Ahhh, so you're the type of person who doesn't get turned off by long explanations I see. Well, here's a little more info on the stuff I oversimplified in the main post about encryption. Uhh, words get bigger and more jargony in this section.
So first oversimplification: the assumption that all web traffic is either HTTP or HTTPS. This isn't exactly true. There are many other application layer internet standards out there, such as ssh, ftp, websockets, and all the proprietary standards certain companies use for stuff such as streaming and video conferencing. Some of these are secure, using TLS or some other security algorithm under the hood, and some of them aren't.
But most of the web requests you care about are HTTP/HTTPS calls. As for the rest, if they come from a company of a decent size that hasn't been hacked off the face of the planet already, they're probably also secure. In other words, you don't need to worry about it.
Next, we've already said that encryption works as a lock and a key, where the lock is a maths formula and the key is a number. But how do we get that key to lock and unlock the data?
Well, to answer that, we first need to talk about the two different types of encryption: symmetric and asymmetric. Symmetric encryption such as AES uses the same key to both encrypt and decrypt data, whereas asymmetric encryption such as RSA uses a different key to encode and decode.
For the sake of my writing, we're going to call the person encrypting Alice, the person decrypting Bob, and the eavesdropper trying to break our communications Eve from now on. These are standard names in crypto FYI. Also, crypto is short for cryptography not cryptocurrencies. Get your Bitcoin and Etherium outta here!
Sorry if things start getting incoherent. I'm tired. It's after 1am now.
So first, how do we get the key from symmetric crypto? This is probably the easier place to start. Well, you need a number, any number of sufficient size, that both Alice and Bob know. There are many ways you could share this number. They could decide it when they meet in person. They could send it to each other using carrier pigeons. Or they could radio it via morse code. But those aren't convenient, and somebody could intercept the number and use it to read all their messages.
So what we use instead is a super clever algorithm called Diffie-Hellman, which uses maths and, in particular, the fact it's really hard to factor large numbers (probably NP Hard to be specific, but there's no actual proof of that). The Wikipedia page for this is surprisingly easy to read, so I'll just direct you there to read all about it because I've been writing for too long. This algorithm allows Alice and Bob to agree on a secret number, despite Eve being able to read everything they send each other.
Now Alice and Bob have this secret number key, they can talk in private. Alice puts her message and the key into the encryption algorithm and out pops what looks like a load of garbage. She can then send this garbage to Bob without worrying about Eve being able to read it. Bob can then put the garbage and the key into the decryption algorithm to undo the scrambling and get the original message out telling him where the good donuts are. Voila, they're done!
But how does Alice know that she's sending her message to Bob and not Eve? Eve could pretend to be Bob so that Alice does the Diffie-Hellman dance with her instead and sends her the secret location of the good donuts instead.
This is where asymmetric crypto comes in! This is the one with private and public keys, and the one that uses prime numbers.
I'm not 100% across the maths on this one TBH, but it has something to do with group theory. Anyway, just like Diffie-Hellman, it relies on the fact that prime factorisation is hard, and so it does some magic with semi-primes, ie numbers with only 2 prime factors other than 1. Google it if you want to know more. I kinda zoned out of this bit in my security courses. Maths hard
But the effect of that maths is easier to explain: things that are encoded with one of the keys can only be decoded with the other key. This means that one of those keys can be well-known to the public and the other is known only to the person it belongs to.
If Alice wants to send a message to Bob and just Bob, no Eve allowed, she can first look up Bob's public key and encrypt a beginning message with that. Once Bob receives the message, he can decrypt it with his private key and read the contents. Eve can't read the contents though because, even though she has Bob's public key, she doesn't know his private key.
This public key information is what the lock in your browser is all about BTW. It's saying that the website is legit based on the public key they provide.
So why do we need symmetric crypto when we have asymmetric crypto? Seems a lot less hassle to exchange keys with asymmetric crypto.
Well, it's because asymmetric crypto is slooooow. So, in TLS, the security algorithm that puts the "S" in "HTTPS", asymmetric RSA is used to establish the initial connection and figure out what symmetric key to use, and then the rest of the session uses AES symmetric encryption using the agreed secret key.
And there you have it! Crypto in slightly-less-short-but-still-high-enough-level-that-I-hope-you-understand.
Just realised how long this section is. Well, I did call it "too much detail" for a reason.
Now, next question is what exactly is and isn't encrypted using HTTPS.
Well, as I said earlier, it's basically just the source IP:port and the destination IP:port. In fact, this information is actually communicated on the logical layer below the application layer HTTPS is on, known as the transport layer. Again, as I said before, you can't really encrypt this unless you don't want your data to reach the place you want at all.
Also, DNS is unencrypted. A DNS request is a request that turns a domain name, such as tumblr.com, into an IP address, by asking a special server called a Domain Name Server where to find the website you're looking for. A DNS request is made before an HTTP(S) request. Anyone who can read your internet traffic can therefore tell you wanted to go to Tumblr.
But importantly, this only shows the domain name, not the full URL. The rest of the URL, the part after the third slash (the first two slashes being part of http://), is stuff that's interpreted by the server itself and so isn't needed during transport. Therefore, it encrypted and completely unreadable, just like all the content on your page.
I was going to show a Wireshark scan of a web request using HTTP and HTTPS to show you the difference, but this has taken long enough to write as it is, so sorry!
I could probably write more, but it's 1:30am and I'm sleepy. I hope you found some of this interesting and think twice before purchasing a VPN subscription. Again, there are legit good uses for a VPN, but they're not the ones primarily being advertised in VPN ads. It's the fact that VPN ads rely so heavily on false advertising that really grinds my gears and made me want to do this rant. It's especially bad when it comes from somebody I'd think of as technologically competent (naming no names here, but if you've worked in tech and still promote VPNs as a way to keep data safe... no). Feel free to ask questions if you want and hopefully I'll get around to answering any that I feel I know enough to answer.
Nighty night Tumblr. Please update your software. And use a (free) password manager. And enable two factor authentication on all your accounts. But mostly just update your software.
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assistant ~ roman godfrey;hemlock grove
word count: 1471
request?: no
description: when you start a new job as the assistant of a huge company, the ceo takes an interest in you
pairing: roman godfrey x female!reader
warnings: swearing, harassing remarks
masterlist (one, two)
“And here is the main floor,” said the lady giving me a tour of Godfrey Industries. “This is where you’ll be doing most of your work, but it’s good to know the building in case Mr. Godfrey ever asks you to get something for him.”
“What’s he like?” I asked her. It was the first time my future employer had been mentioned and I had yet to meet him.
She paused a moment before turning to face me. She was suddenly the most serious she had been all day. “He can be a little short tempered sometimes. He has gone off on some of his employees sometimes. If he ever does to you, do not hesitate to come to me for it, alright?”
That sounded reassuring.
I followed her towards Mr. Godfrey’s office, my heart hammering against my chest.
“Mr. Godfrey?” she said as she knocked at the door. “Your new assistant is here.”
“Bring her in.”
She opened the door and nodded for me to go in first. I hoped neither one of them would see how bad my hands were shaking.
I was shocked to see how young he was. Of course, I knew Mr. Godfrey was no more than 21 years old and took over the family business right out of high school, but I didn’t expect someone so young and handsome to be sat behind that desk.
His blue eyes lifted from whatever he was writing and landed on me. I shuffled under his gaze, wondering what was running through his mind as he looked at me.
“Mr. Godfrey, this is (Y/F/N),” she introduced. “She’ll be working as your new assistant.”
“It’s nice to meet you Mr. Godfrey,” I said, trying to keep my voice as even as possible.
“Please, we’re basically the same age,” he said. “Call me Roman. Is it alright if I address you by your first name, too?”
I was so stunned that I could barley get my words out. “Y-Yes, that’s-that’s okay.”
He smiled at me and I felt like my whole body would melt into the floor.
“It’s nice to meet you (Y/N). I can’t wait to work together.”
~~~~~~
The first few days were nothing exciting, mainly running a few errands for Roman. We were rarely ever alone together, which I was a little disappointed by. I knew it was wrong to have these sort of thoughts about my boss, but I couldn’t help it. He was so handsome and charming.
I was at my desk secretly scrolling through my phone when the intercom chimed, signaling Roman was about to speak.
“(Y/N), can you bring the papers regarding the mill in for me?”
“Right away Roman.”
I grabbed the file labelled Godfrey Industries Mill and brought it down to the conference room where I knew Roman was in a meeting.
The moment I walked in I froze again. There were so many official looking business men sat around the table, now they were all looking at me. I smiled awkwardly before crossing the room to pass the file to Roman.
“Thank you (Y/N),” he said as he took it.
“New assistant, Roman?” one of the men asked.
“Yeah, she just started,” Roman responded, barley regarding the man who spoke.
“Aren’t you going to introduce us?”
Roman glared briefly at him before saying, “(Y/N), these are some of my business partners.”
I smiled at them and shuffled uncomfortably when I noticed how they were looking at me. I had heard the jokes about business men and their assistants, but I never believed them. That would be a massive HR issue, right?
But the way these men were looking at me...I wanted to shrink behind Roman for protection.
“I bet you're having a fantastic time with her,” another man commented. “You’ve broken her in already, right Rom?”
“The innocent ones are always the best in the sack,” another added.
I felt tears welling up in my eyes as they all laughed. I was willing myself to move, but I was stuck in place.
The sound of Roman’s hands slamming down on the desk caused me to jump as he stood from his seat. His face was blood red and he looked ready to explode.
“Get the fuck out,” he hissed.
“What?” one of the men questioned.
“I said get the fuck out! All of you!” For good measure, he threw the file at the first man who spoke, narrowly avoiding his face. “Forget the fucking mill deal, forget any fucking deal. I’m not doing business with you disgusting excuse for men anymore!”
They were all shocked, but knew better than to fight against Roman. They all left, grumbling to themselves and calling Roman a handful of names.
We were left alone. Roman sat back down, running his hands through his hair.
“Do..do you want me to...?” I started, gesturing towards the papers that had scattered from the thrown file.
“No,” he responded, his voice softer now. “I’ll take care of it. You take a break, a prolonged one if you need.”
I nodded and quickly left the room, hoping all the business men had left the building entirely as I raced for the nearest bathroom to hide for a while.
~~~~~~
I was on my own in the lobby area when a cup of coffee and a picture perfect sprinkled donut was placed in front of me. I looked up from my computer to see Roman sipping from his own cup, his breathtaking eyes gazing down at me.
“I’m glad you didn’t leave,” he said. “I didn’t check before I got both of those for you.”
“I appreciate it,” I said, taking the cup and the donut. “I still had some stuff I needed to do, I couldn’t go home early.”
“I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to.”
I took a sip of my coffee, not wanting to respond. Truthfully, I had thrown myself so heavily into my work to keep the disgusting words said by Roman’s business partners out of my head.
I had never been spoken to in such a way before. I knew it wouldn’t be the last time I’d been spoken to in such a way, but it still made me feel dirty and wrong when I thought about it. Like I was nothing more than some eye candy for business men who were old enough to be my father (except for Roman).
Roman continued to lean against the desk, looking down at me as I diverted my attention back to my computer.
“I’m sorry about what happened,” he said. “Those fuckers are a little too...stereotypical.”
I shook my head, trying to downplay my feelings on the situation. “It’s alright. I appreciate you standing up for me, but I’m sorry if it ruins your business relations or whatever.”
Roman rolled his eyes. “I could give less of a fuck. They're all assholes anyways. They only use me for money and power for their bullshit projects. And what they did to you was far from alright. It was wrong, and I hope you know I’m not going to tolerate you being treated like that. Not now, not ever.”
I nodded and took another sip of my coffee, unsure as to what else to say. I was shocked that the situation had made Roman so angry. I mean, I was glad people treating me so poorly made him upset and he wasn’t about to sweep this under the rug, but to cut business ties just for me? I was still trying to figure that part out.
Silence fell over us again and I wondered how long Roman would be stood there watching me. Not that I really minded. This was the first time we had been alone.
“Listen,” he said, “this may be incredibly inappropriate to ask, but I’d love to take you out for dinner some time.”
I looked up at him in shock. “Like...like a date?”
“Or a work dinner, whatever makes you feel more comfortable.”
I didn’t have to think about my answer, but I didn’t want to come off as too eager, so I thought for a moment before responding, “I’d like that.”
Roman smiled back at me. “Okay. You know my schedule, you can pick a time and a date that’s best for you.”
He turned to leave before pausing and turning back to me. “Just to be clear, are you saying you’d like it as a date or as a work dinner.”
I smiled smugly at him and responded, “You’ll have to wait to find out.”
He raised an eyebrow at me, amused, before walking back to his office. When I was sure he was gone, I did a quick dance of excitement in my chair before turning my full attention back to my work.
#Roman Godfrey#roman godfrey imagine#roman godfrey x reader#bill skarsgard#bill skarsgard imagine#bill skarsgard x reader#hemlock grove#hemlock grove imagine#netflix#imagine#one shot#fanfiction#fanfic#fandom
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Stay Close
pPairing: The Bad Batch x Reader (Polyam)
Summary: After working non-stop, you go on a mission with the Batch and you get to be on the field with them this time. (Polyam series pt 6)
Warning: ANGST, some fluff, mentions of slavery, depictions of violence, blood and injuries
Word Count: 2190
A/N: I FINALLY KNOW CROSSHAIR'S LITTLE THING ON THE SHIP IS CALLED A GUNNER'S MOUNT CUZ OF THE RECENT EPISODE HAHA
pt v, pt vii
XXXXXXX
It had been a week ever since your break in Coruscant. That time and the moments that followed have been playing in your head non-stop ever since you got back to Kamino. However, once you got back, you were swamped with work. You were one of the only non-clone communications officers based on Kamino, so you had to deal with some data that came in from off-planet bases. It was frustrating to say the least and most of the clones who dealt with communication for their squadron left most of their work unprocessed, so you basically had to clean up after them. Due to work being unprocessed and sorted could cause a malfunction or even a virus to attack the computer system on Kamino. That would result in multiple horrible outcomes if the separatists get access to anything on the clones or any other upcoming projects the Kaminoans were working on for the Republic.
It seemed like you were living in that communications room because none of the boys really saw you anywhere else. It concerned them greatly and they decided to intervene before you die from overworking yourself. You were typing away on the computer when the door slid open which let in the batch one by one. You didn’t bother to turn to acknowledge them as you were sorting out multiple files.
“Mesh’la?” Hunter called.
“Hm.” You responded nonchalantly, still working.
“You’ve been at this for 93 hours, 34 minutes, and 20 seconds.” Tech explained while looking at one of his devices, “Working at this rate is concerning and unhealthy, especially for a simple being like you.”
“Huh… so if a clone were doing this they’d be able to work just a bit longer?” You asked, not looking away from the computer.
“What he’s trying to say, cyare, is that you need to take a break…” Echo insisted, placing one hand on your shoulder.
“I’m almost done, I swear.” You murmured, looking over data being transferred.
“Lucky for you, darling. I’ve created a program to help sort stuff out.” Tech went to the computer and plugged a small goober into one of the ports on the console, “It’ll notify me when it’s done sorting.”
“Come on, ad’ika, time for rest!” Wrecker moved to pick you up and carry you out of the communications room while the others followed.
You all arrived to their room and Wrecker tossed you onto one of the bunks, which caused you to laugh gently. You sighed, relished the feel of the bed under you, then it dipped slightly. You looked to see Hunter with a gentle smile on his face, which you returned before he pulled you up onto his lap. You pushed off the bandana around his forehead which caused some hair to fall into his face so you pushed it away for him. He held you closer, placed his face into your chest, and sighed.
“You alright, Hunter?’ You murmured, caressing the hair on the back of his neck.
“He’s missed you, like the rest of us have.” Echo smiled while cleaning his mechanical hand.
“It wasn’t like I was off-planet. I was just working.”
“Well, the idea of you working usually involves being with us most of the time.” Tech explained, “So it was odd not seeing you for such a long period of time.”
You hummed before kissing Hunter’s head, “I missed you all too…”
The next day, all of you were sent on an important mission. The Kaminoans didn’t give you much detail, only saying that it was urgent. You sat on the Havoc Marauder, looking over the map of the planet on your holopad.
“We have to be careful, this planet is famous for raiders, thieves, and smugglers.” You stated, looking everything over.
“We’ve handled much worse than that combined!” Wrecker laughed while slapping Tech’s back, almost causing him to drop the device he was holding. You shook your head, made your way out of the cockpit, and found Crosshair cleaning the parts of his sniper rifle.
“Do you think it’ll come to that?” You murmured, crouching beside him.
“Have to be prepared for anything, sarad. Especially on a planet like this.”
You nodded gently, picking up one of the pieces, “You should teach me…”
“How to put it together, or how to shoot?”
“Both… but we can take it one step at a time.” You looked at him with a smile.
He hooked your chin, “Well, let’s work on your aim without a blaster first. And test how good your eyesight is. When we get back to Kamino, I’ll show you the shooting range.”
“Kamino has a shooting range?”
Your question caused Crosshair to smirk as he finished cleaning all the pieces.
You shook your head with a small laugh, “I guess I don’t know Kamino as well as I should.”
He nodded gently and helped you up. Before you could move away from him, he grasped your wrist. His smirk was gone, his eyes were now focussed, and his stature became tense. He raised his other hand to cup your cheek and look into your eyes.
“You stay close to us…”
“I know, Cross…”
He nodded before going to the gunner’s mount to wait there until you landed. You strapped in as you were arriving at your destination. Once you landed, you all geared up and got ready to tread through the town to reach your target. You wore simple civilian clothing because it wasn’t safe to be wearing a Republic uniform full of outlaws and mercenaries. You pulled up the hood of your cloak over your head before nodding to Hunter. You all then left the ship and headed into town.
Tech was using a tracking device while you walked the streets, he was babbling on while you and the others looked cautiously at your surroundings. There were multiple stalls along the edge of the dirt street, selling many different things including spice, weaponry, and droid parts. You were in the center of the batch, and they urged themselves closer as if to shield you from danger. Hunter turned his head to you, which caused you to nod reassuringly. Even if you couldn’t see his eyes through the visor of his helmet, you knew he was checking up on you. You all then turned into a vacant alleyway to discuss how you will find the target faster. The boys discuss different strategies and you tried to listen to them, but then the crack of a whip caused your attention to be caught outside of the alleyway. One of the vendors was holding the weapon and using it against a young twi’lek. They were speaking two different languages, so the chaos was uncontrollable. You winced while watching and couldn’t stand it any longer. The batch noticed at the last second that you had rushed out of the alley to stop what was happening.
“Lodestar!” One of them called to you, but you ignored it and blocked the vendor from hitting the young twi’lek again.
“That’s enough!”
The vendor growled, “The little slave was stealing from my stall!”
You quickly placed down some currency, “Now it is paid for.”
The vendor took the money and scoffed, “They are lucky this time. Next time, I will tell their master.”
You shook your head and urged the twi’lek away from the stall. Then you crouched down and looked at the child’s injuries, whispering gently. You were lucky enough to be familiar with many languages due to your past, so making conversation with the young twi’lek wasn’t hard. Footsteps approached the both of you, so you let the child run off and turned to see the batch. It was going to be no surprise that they were upset with you, so you said nothing and followed them. Tech had found the location of the target, so you all moved quickly. You had to separate due to the package you had to retrieve being heavily guarded. You were with Tech, helping him monitor the motion inside of the small building where your package was being held. You scanned the holopad before speaking into your communicator.
“Careful, Hunter. There are multiple bodies coming toward you.”
“See them. Find how many are guarding the package.”
Tech diligently moved the camera and you watch on the holopad.
“There,” You signalled Tech to stop and looked over the thermal radar, “Five that I can see, Hunter.”
“Cross, what’s your status?”
“None up top. All clear here.”
“Wrecker, Echo?”
“Almost have the grate open.” Echo responded.
“Charges are all set.” Wrecker confirmed.
You winced gently, looking down at your arm where the whip had caught you. You thought it was only a graze on the fabric, but it was deeper and blood was staining your sleeve. Tech saw it and was about to say something, but then there was noise near where you two were hiding. It was one of the guards and he was sniffing around. Your eyes widened and you looked to Tech before placing the holopad in his hands carefully.
“Our location is about to be compromised, I’m moving now.” You said quickly before climbing up to the roof of the building next to you. You looked over the ledge and kicked a small piece of rubble, getting the guard. He looked up and saw you. You smiled gently before running along the tops of the buildings. He ran along the street following your trail.
“Cross, I’m coming to you.”
“Excellent.” He responded and he started to set up his rifle before you reached him. You jumped onto the roof where he was set up and turned to see the guard shot down. He then stood up and looked at you. You sensed the disappointment.
“What?”
“You were reckless today.”
“I stayed close.” You shrugged, looking at the cut on your arm. He grabbed it gently and looked at it.
“How did you not notice that?”
You were quiet while looking at him, but then a small glint caught your eye and you gasped before pushing him away from you.
Blaster noises distracted the team from the mission, knowing it came from your and Crosshair’s location. Hunter had retrieved the package and had come out of the grate where Echo and Wrecker were..
“Lodestar! Come in!” Static.
“Crosshair!” Silence.
Then, guards started to rush around the corner. The three batchers rushed away and Wrecker had set off the explosives he placed around that area.
“Tech, head back to the Havoc Marauder! Echo and Wrecker will meet you there!”
“What about you?” Echo asked.
“I’ve got to find Crosshair and Lodestar.”
Hunter handed Wrecker the package and they went their separate ways. Hunter managed to get to one of the rooftops and rushed to where you and Crosshair were. He jumped onto the roof where you were and saw the dead alien, a blaster next to him. Then his eyes led to familiar white hair.
“Crosshair!” He rushed over to his side and saw you laying in his lap, unconscious, with a blaster wound on your side. He immediately noticed the race of Crosshair’s heart, and sensed his growing shock, so he placed his hand on his brother’s shoulder.
“We have to go. We have to get back to Kamino.”
Crosshair nodded before letting Hunter pick you up and rushed with him back to the Havoc Marauder. They arrived back to the ship.
“Tech! Echo! Get us out of here now!” Hunter called as he boarded the ship with you in his arms. Wrecker was frozen with shock when he saw you.
“Ad’ika.” He whispered.
The ship moved quickly out of orbit and it was only a few minutes before everyone gathered together. Tech and Echo were rendered silent when they saw you on the floor with Hunter by your side as he exposed your wound.
“I need a bacta patch, now!”
Crosshair was the one to move to get it and give it to him. He took his place on your other side and helped Hunter.
“So...so pale…” Tech whispered, almost speechless as he looked at your condition.
Hunter was getting extremely overstimulated with everyone’s heartbeats and breathing, but he tried to focus on you. Tech was right: you were extremely pale, but as Hunter sifted through the different pulses reaching his ears, he found your weak one. He cupped your face.
“Mesh’la…” He called, “C’mon, mesh’la.”
“Can we lightspeed jump to Kamino?” Echo asked Tech.
“I...I don’t know…”
“Figure it out, Tech! Hurry!” Wrecker pleaded, his eyes averting from you to him.
Crosshair was extremely quiet with his eyes only on you. A million thoughts ran through his head. It felt like minutes before he spoke.
“Do the jump.”
“What?” Tech asked.
“Do the jump, now.” Crosshair repeated.
“We don’t know if it’ll make the wound worse.” Echo explained.
“If it does, we’ll be at Kamino!”
“Cross, it’s too dangerous-” Echo started.
“We have to, or else the Kaminoans will have no patient, and we’ll have a dead officer!” Crosshair snapped, gripping your hand in his.
The rest of the squad looked to Hunter, who nodded.
“Do the jump.”
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Sorry for the wait haha -Tree <3
#the bad batch#the bad batch x reader#bad batch#bad batch x reader#hunter#crosshair#wrecker#echo#tech#clone force 99#tbb polyam series#treesnutsandleaves writes#hunter x reader#crosshair x reader#wrecker x reader#tech x reader#echo x reader
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obssessed ; preferences
warnings — stalking, nonconsensual location/location tracking, obsessive behaviors, manipulation, knife, mentions of killing someone (no actual murder)
characters — dark!andy barber, dark!steve rogers, dark!ransom drysdale, dark!bucky barnes, dark!clark kent, dark!syverson, dark!august walker
a/n — THIS IS A DARK FIC WITH DARK THEMES,, dni if youre not 18+,, just a thought that played around in my mind so yeah. lmk what you think!
their love language | with their little | when you’re insecure | slipping into little space | fussy | happy hoelidays | cartoons
masterlist
To celebrate the case they won they held a little party at the office; though Andy wasn’t in a celebratory mood. With his hand clasped together against his lips, his eyes were watching closely his phone screen as he was awaiting a text from his beloved girlfriend who promised to be here. “Hey Andy, we’re popping the champagne already; are you joining us?” Tearing his attention away from the device, he smiled a bit as he told them, “I will once Y/N comes over.” Tess, the assistant who invited him, chuckled a bit before leaving him alone in his office, “Staring at the phone won’t make her come over any quicker you know?” It was something they never really confronted Andy about — almost everyone at the office noticed how he had a firm grip around the girl, but no one dared to question or comment about it because they know how the skilled lawyer would come after them once they do — but silently they understood that if you spoke, let alone looked at her, badly it wouldn’t end well for everyone.
As the door shut once Tess walked away, his intense gaze returned once again to the mobile phone as he awaits a response from his girl. “Baby! I’m here now,” Snapping his head to the source of the sound, he immediately stood up and hugged Y/N as he let out a relieved sigh. “Where were you? And most importantly why didn’t you answer my text or return my calls hm?” Rolling her eyes with how her boyfriend was grilling her as if she was one of the witnesses he had on his case she apologized, “I’m sorry, baby. I got held up at the salon because my mani took longer than expected,” Her manicured nails then raised her phone to show how even as she pressed the button it wouldn’t turn on, “And my phone ran out of battery.” Wrapping an arm around her, he removed her bag and left it by the coat hanger and guided them to where the party was. “I’m gonna buy you a portable charger, baby; that way you won’t ever run out.” Innocently, she smiled and thanked him with a kiss on the lips before saying hello to his colleagues whom she got along well. That way the tracker I put on your phone will always be turned on, he deviously thought to himself as he sipped some of his champagne.
“Another long day huh?” August asked as he peeked his head around Y/N’s cubicle. It was quite odd to say the least — a field agent of his caliber not having his own office instead opting for a cubicle beside one of CIA’s lanky desk jockey? It was one of the questions she asked the infamous Hammer as he settled on the office cubicle beside hers, “Why settle for a tiny office station?” She asked to which he chuckled at as he explained, “Half the year I’m somewhere around the world; so what’s the point of having a big office if I don’t enjoy it all year round?” It was a good, solid point — one she so easily believed without a second thought — but unfortunately it was all a lie. Ever since Walker saw her once at a meeting Sloane held, he was hooked. Initially it was just her beauty and energy, but as he got to know her more he fell for who and what she was. “Yeah, I might need to stay a bit longer than usual,” She replied as she lifted the files she held, pinning the blame on the current target that needed to be researched on. “How ‘bout some coffee then?” Ears ringing with joy at his offer, she looked at him with an appreciative look as she nodded. Chuckling at her reaction, he stood up and trodden over the pantry. Installing surveillance devices on her work computer and cameras around her desk paid off since it allowed him to know everything there is to discover about her — her favorite artists, pet peeves, how she liked her coffee, home address, mobile phone number, even her social security number!
“How’d you know how I like my coffee?” She asked after taking a sip of the hot beverage; with a smile he shrugs as he pretends to get back to the work on his computer, “Well it was just a wild guess.” In her mind however, she did find her tastes to be quite basic and didn’t doubt August which was a relief to the field agent. “I think I’ll be going home now,” She announced as she shut off her computer and began to clean up her desk. “Need a ride home?” He knew she did, since he overheard her talking to a mechanic earlier that day about a defect her car suddenly had, “Yeah I do actually, but I wouldn't want to hassle you.” Quickly putting on his brown coat, he was standing up as he fished his keys out, “Nonsense! I don’t mind helping a colleague out.” Conceding, she took up his generous offer with a smile. As they were making an easy-going conversation, Y/N gave her address; but what she didn’t know is that not only did August know by heart where she lived, but he had also paid her house a visit multiple times in the past.
With an arm draped around her shoulder, Bucky and Y/N walked around the farmer’s market; the latter whined endlessly to her boyfriend how she wanted to buy some products. And though the thought of going out in the crowds wasn’t at all appealing to him, the need to make her smile made him go anyway. Leading him up to the different stalls, the former Winter Soldier couldn’t help but chuckle at how she would coo and be all excited for the different groceries, clothes, and figurines. “Slow down, doll. The market’s not going anywhere,” Bucky told her as he tailed behind her as he carried over 10 different bags filled with her purchases. It wouldn’t normally be a problem for him to look after her, but as the path became filled with people and him being preoccupied with the bags he held made him unable to keep a grip on her. With worried, drifting eyes, he was searching for his girlfriend who seemed to have blended right up with the bustling crowds, “Y/N? Doll? Where are you?”
Setting the bags down on a vacant table, he then spotted her standing by a stall that sold her favorite food. His relieved smile was soon being replaced with a scowl as she was talking and laughing with another man. Whipping out the knife he kept on the pocket of his jeans, he was ready to torture the man. But as Y/N turned to him with a wide smile, it had him hiding the knife out of her sight, “Bucky! Look it’s Sam, my cousin!” Upon her introducing who the man was, the knife that was hidden was being kept back into its original hiding spot before he shook hands with the man, “Oh! Nice meeting you same, I’m Y/N’s boyfriend.” As they shook hands Sam had given them both a look as he sassed, “I know who you are! This one,” He referred to Y/N by pinching her side as she smacked his hand and giggled, “Won’t stop gushing about you every time we talk.” Seeing how she was clinging to his metal arm as she nuzzled her cheek to his side was all the confirmation Bucky needed; Sam then excused himself, “Well you got to swing by one of our family gatherings, yeah Bucky?” Nodding, they all exchanged farewells before the couple headed to the table where their bags still were — thankfully not stolen. “You shouldn’t have run off like that, doll. Got me real worried for a second,” He gently scolded her with a stern look. Pouting, she defended herself, “I’m sorry, Bucky! I just saw these cute little mason jars, but they were too expensive so I walked away. Then I smelt something delicious so I followed it and it turned out it was my favorite food; but Sam was there so I chatted with him instead.” Ending her enthusiastic breakdown of events with a sweet peck on the lips, he told her, “Doll you know that I would have bought you anything your sweet heart wanted. Just don’t go anywhere without me okay?”
The soft ping on his phone made Jensen pause his movements as he was selecting a movie that you both would watch; eyebrow raising when he noticed that a certain “Steve” was texting you. Opening the text through the software he installed on both your phones allowed him to see every activity you do on your phone — but it wasn’t the only feature it had for it also allowed him to change the texts, emails, and other settings on her phone. A frown graced his handsome features as he read the text, “ Hey Y/N I can squeeze you in on Thursday, at 3pm. Are you free by then?” Displeased, he then sent a text to the guy saying how his assistance wouldn’t be needed any more. And he edited the text Steve sent her to make it seem that it was Steve that texted how he could no longer accommodate her. “Got some chips and chocolates!”
Her excited voice brought his attention from his phone screen to her excited face as she plopped herself beside him. “Thanks, babe,” Kissing her forehead, he sneakily looked over to where she was unlocking her phone and reading the text; noticing how she pouted he inquired, “What's wrong, babe?” Snuggling up to his side after sending a reply, she explained, “Steve said he can’t meet up with me anymore.” As he was rubbing her back, he faked the symphony, “Aw that’s too bad; why did you even need to meet up with Steve anyway?” She did not pick up on the faint hints of darkness on his tone, “He was my dentist! He was going to determine whether I need to have surgery for my tooth, remember?” At the revelation of who Steve really was, the communications and technology expert felt slightly guilty but he was quick to reassure her, “Don’t worry baby I know a dentist who can help you.” Feeling her hum appreciatively against him, she planted a kiss on his cheek as they both focused on the movie; and as her eyes were trained on the screen, he whispered lowly, “You're only gonna be around people I trust, babe.”
There was a reason Sy had chosen a house that was nearly thirty minutes away from downtown — it was so their friends and families would feel lazy or discouraged to visit them due to the distance and time it took to get there. “Where on earth do you need to be today, petal?” Sy’s morning voice huskily rasped out in her ear; they both had just woken up and as Y/N was moving to stand up from the bed, she was being trapped in his muscular arms for a hug. Giggling at how he was being, she rolled around so they would be facing each other, “‘M going out with my friends today — Sophia and Rose have been bugging me about how we don’t hang out as often anymore.” At the mention of her going out and leaving him, Sy’s mood deflated and his eyes went wide; this wasn’t how he pictured this day going. “But petal, you’re gonna leave me all alone in this big house? ‘M gonna miss you so much,” The former army captain whined as she got out of his grasp and heading to wash up in their ensuite bathroom — not before bopping his nose as she reminded him, “Well you chose this house, bear. Plus, it’s only just for a while.”
Sitting up on their bed the man could only cross his arms and grumble, which was interrupted with her phone ringing. After seeing that it was her friend, Sophia, who was calling he then answered it for her, “Hey Y/N! Can’t wait to see you; we’ll pick you up in 20 minutes okay?” Taking the opportunity, Sy then decided to fabricate a lie, “Oh hey Sophia, it’s Sy,” He paused before saying the next parts in a hushed tone, “Y/N won’t be able to make it since she hurt her foot two days ago when going down the stairs. I know she was so looking forward to seeing you. Will do, bye.” With a smirk, the man set her phone back down on the nightstand, just in time since Y/N exited the bathroom, “Who was that, bear?” Making his way over to her, he hugged her as he kissed her forehead, “Sophia, calling to say she’s gonna have to cancel because she’s sick. And Rose was called in to work.” It was clear on her face that she was disappointed because she was looking forward to catching up with her friends, but her boyfriend tried to mirror her expression when in reality he was overjoyed with getting her all to himself. “Guess that leaves just the two of us, petal. Don’t worry, we’re gonna have fun today.”
“Fucking hell,” Ransom cursed as he was speeding to go to where your tracker said you were. He had gifted you a necklace six months into the relationship, and it was costly not just because of the intricate design it has but also because he had put a tracker on it to keep tabs of your whereabouts — not that you knew about it. You both had a fight the night before, and it didn’t end well since it led to the two of you sleeping in separate rooms and Ransom drinking away his misery. So imagine his surprise when he woke up and found how you weren’t in the house and he noticed as well how a duffel bag that was in your shared walk-in closet was gone; the writer thought of the worst possibilities. And his anger went through the roof when he saw how you were at his grandfather’s house; it was one thing that you guys fought, but to involve his family in this? That was bound to be a fucking mess. As he parked the car by the driveway, he stepped out in rushed steps that were slowed down by the two dogs barking and crowding him, “Shoo, get away, mutts!” He scared them away and entered the house, “Alright where is she?” His yell echoed through the walls as Marta who was walking from the kitchen and into the foyer was startled, “Hugh, what brings you here?”
“Where’s Y/N?” Knowing Y/N’s secret, the nurse swallowed nervously as she reluctantly told the truth, “She’s with Harlan at the gathering area.” On his way there he noticed how there were some party decorations — some colorful streamers and balloons — on the walls before he saw his girlfriend who was looking through something on her iPad, “What the hell are you doing here?” His voice caused her to gasp out loud as she looked like a deer caught off guard by headlights; standing up she walked towards him, her hands gripping onto his forearms, “We fight and you end up here to my grandfather to what? Complain and seek refuge?” Though his words stung she chose not to feed onto his anger, “Can you promise to listen out to me first?” Seeing how she was calm and not as mad as the night before, he gulped down and nodded. “When you accused me of cheating on you, it hurt because I knew that that wasn’t the truth,” She paused briefly to monitor his reactions, and she knew that he would then ask what was up with her behavior so she addressed it before being prompted to, “And the reason why I seem to be distant or busy these past few days is because I was planning on throwing a surprise party for you — for the success of your book.” At her explanation he could feel his entire body relax at the relief of him not having to kill anyone; also it made sense to him why his grandfather’s house had some ornaments hanging. Pulling her close to him, he hugged her tight as he kissed the top of her head, “Princess, I was so close to killing someone, you have no idea.” Swatting his back, she laughed at him, “I think you owe me an apology, mister. Not only did you ruin the surprise but you also accused me of cheating on you.” Smirking at her he replied, “I’ll make it up to you for the rest of our lives, princess, don’t you worry about it.” And he meant every single word of that promise; for he knew he wanted no one else but her.
The mission went well since the new agents did their jobs well — even exceeding Steve’s expectations of how they would handle the pressure and what decisions they would make in order for the mission to be a success. As the quinjet landed and they were given the clearance to exit the aircraft, the super soldier frowned when he took note how his girlfriend wasn’t anywhere near the landing pad. She always welcomes me back, he thought. The weight of his duffle bag on his arm didn’t matter to him as the feeling of worry and anxiety about his girl was way heavier. Immediately, he headed to their shared living quarters where he hoped she would be, “Kitten? I’m home,” His voice bounced off the walls as he dropped his bag on the floor and looked through every nook of the room. Now his anger and confusion was through the roof and he then decided to consult, “Friday, where’s Y/N?”
“She’s at the common area with Sam and Pietro, Captain,” As soon as AI mentioned where she was he found himself striding briskly towards her location. If she was with Bucky, it wouldn’t have alarmed him as much. But the Captain had a hunch that Sam secretly liked his girl and had plans of stealing him away from him; while Pietro was a natural flirt and joker. Even just by standing at the doorway he heard his beloved’s giggles as Sam recalled an exaggerated story. “There you are, kitten,” He let out, relieved upon seeing his girl alive in one piece. Turning her head, she smiled widely upon seeing her boyfriend and abandoned her conversation with the two Avengers to run to Steve with open arms. “Steve! I missed you so much,” She squealed as the super soldier caught her effortlessly and wrapped his thick arms tightly around her figure. “What are you doing with these troublemakers, kitten?” He wondered out loud, completely ignoring two offended looks from the said men. “I was bored of waiting for you in our room so I went here,” She was cut off from her explanations when Sam added, “That, and we missed hanging out with Y/N!” Even though Y/N giggled, Steve was trying his best to control his rage; but Pietro wanted to push him further to his limits by saying, “You hog her all the damn time we forget how great her company is!” the only girl in the room squealed as she was being carried off by Steve, “Well I don’t want you around her that’s why I hog my girl around.” Everyone around the super soldier still thought that he was joking and decided to laugh it off; Sam’s voice called out to them once more to tell a joke before they both had fully exited the room, “Yeah? Well why don’t you just lock her up in a secluded house then?” That’s exactly my plan, Sam, Steve smirked to himself quietly.
Clark needed an escape that night; for someone who has inhumane powers the stress of his job at the Daily Planet can definitely take a toll on one person — so he decided to go flying around at night, just to take his mind off things. As he was flying, he sensed trouble and decided to check out what was happening. It was a woman who was being bothered by her ex who was clearly under the influence, “Goddamn it, Alex! I told you I don’t want to talk to you!” Y/N was trying her best to push him away, but even in his drunken state he had a tight grip on her forearms. “Just wanna talk to you, baby,” He sing-songed as he tried to push his body closer to hers. “I think she made it clear that she doesn’t want to,” A booming voice spoke up, causing Y/N to gasp out loud when she saw Superman himself; Alex however grunted at the searing pain on his shoulder caused by the mysterious man, the pain weakening his hold on the girl to the point where he tore his hands away from Y/N to push away the weight on his shoulder. In his drunken state, he failed to piece together how it was the infamous hero in front of him — instead all he saw was a tall, muscular man and decided he didn’t want to have his face beaten up so he just walked away with his arms up in surrender. “Are you alright, miss?” Clark gently asked the woman who felt relieved she was no longer being bothered by her ass of an ex. “I am, thank you.” She nodded and before she could ask how’d she find him he offered, “Would you need help getting home? Just to make sure he won’t follow you again.” He was quick to clarify, in hopes she won’t find him creepy. “I know you have good intentions, but it’s fine. I don’t think he has the balls, let alone the energy, to bother me. At least for tonight.” With that she waved at the hero goodnight before getting into her car and driving into her apartment — but she didn’t know how up in the sky above, a certain pair of blue eyes followed her journey home.
“Hi! You must be the one who moved next door?” Y/N politely greeted the man as she was leaned by her front door. Clark smiled as he adjusted his glasses — suddenly feeling nervous upon seeing her beautiful face once more, “That is me! Though the one who moved next door is quite a mouthful; you can just call me Clark.” As she laughed at his lame joke she told her name, “And feel free to knock if you need anything, okay?” Taking his nod of agreement as a cue that their conversation ended, she entered her apartment. The son of Jor-El II went inside his own apartment that was directly next to hers — he did so because days and nights of following her didn’t satiate his hunger for her, so he decided that perhaps this would be a clean way of easing her into a relationship — and busied himself with organizing his belongings in his apartment. Hearing Y/N’s increased heart rate and her voice raised, he opened his door to check out what was going on; and the sight of her ex bothering her once again. “Come on, Y/N! You need to take me back!” Displeased with how the imbecile failed to grasp that Alex should not reach out to his girl anymore. Letting his rage get the best of him, he walked over and pushed Alex off hard enough he landed on his bum, “When a woman says she doesn’t want to see or talk to you, then you better comply with her request.” Gulping down, he recognized the strength as the same one who grabbed onto his shoulder — and now as he was sober Alex decided to respect her wishes and hastily stood up to leave the apartment building. “Are you alright?” Seeing how Clark stood up for her, it made her reminisce about how she was reduced two weeks ago by Superman, “I’m fine, Clark,” She nodded as she grounded herself back to reality and stared into his concerned, blue eyes, “Thank you, by the way.” As he smiled at her she offered him for some snacks in her flat, which he gracefully accepted. “You know, you’re the second person who helped me get rid of Alex,” She mentioned as she handed him a snack; feigning innocence he tilted his head up as he inquired, “Oh? Who’s the other one?” Taking a small bite of the snack, she wiped her mouth free from the crumbs before replying, “You probably won’t believe it, but it was Superman,” She laughed along with her new neighbor who didn’t find it unbelievable and instead played along as he spoke, “Who’s to say I’m not your personal superhero, beautiful?”
#quietmyfearswith#henry cavill x reader#chris evans x reader#sebastian stan x reader#dark!andy barber x you#andy barber x reader#august walker x reader#dark!august walker x reader#bucky barnes x reader#dark!bucky barnes x reader#jake jensen x reader#dark!jake jensen x reader#clark kent x reader#dark!clark kent x reader#steve rogers x reader#dark!steve rogers x reader#captain syverson x reader#syverson x reader#dark!captain syverson x reader#dark!syverson x reader#sy x reader#ransom drysdale x reader#ransom thrombey x reader#dark!ransom drysdale x reader#dark!ransom thrombey x reader
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wait so i was scrolling through your blog (as per usual) and i saw that you brought up levi and his streamer gf briefly. care to elaborate a lil causeee im curious 👀👀
- 🖤
Absolutely, I can. He’s such a supportive bf even tho he’s far from a gamer himself, and very very proud of you 😌
Whatever game(s) you play, Levi knows the basics. He might not have ever played them himself, but he knows enough to recognize it if it ever comes up in conversation.
He doesn’t always watch your streams, and you can hardly tell when he does because he doesn’t comment or anything. He just tunes in when he’s free to support you and see what’s going on. Sometimes to peep on your comment section, but he’d never tell you that.
He doesn’t make donations. He’d just Apple Pay you money lmfao. Supportive emotionally and financially, but all your followers/subscribers don’t have to see that.
He knows when you’re recording content or streaming and typically doesn’t bother you. The only exceptions are (a) if he forgets or (b) you’ve been in your room for a while and he’s going in to check up on you.
He doesn’t forget often—and truthfully, when he walks in on your streams its not actually because he forgot; it’s because you’re online at a different time that usual and he didn’t know—but it’s pretty cute when he does. He catches himself pretty quickly, and silently asks you if you’re streaming; to which he gently closes the door and just texts you his inquiry.
He doesn’t even really disturb you—it’s not like he enters rooms cussing up a storm on full blast. Nobody could even tell he walked in, except for maybe a small lapse in your attention when you turned to him.
When you’ve been in your room for a while, he does come in to check on you. His intentions aren’t necessarily to get you away from the screen; he just wants to make sure you’ve had dinner or some snacks at the very least. When you have all night tournaments or streaming fests, he comes by with dinner for you; silently puts it on your desk, and on occasion, leaves you with a little head pat.
He doesn’t normally appear in your streams, but he is in two of your YouTube videos: one shopping haul, and once when he helped you make him/your friends in the Sims. They happen to be two of your highest viewed videos.
People constantly ask about him. They know Levi exists, but they don’t see him often, and newer fans especially are obsessed with catching a glimpse of your mysterious boyfriend on screen. If you asked him, he’d come in for a few seconds to show his face, but he wouldn’t do it unprompted.
You mention him, of course, it’s not like you’re hiding him away either. He comes up particularly often when you play with your friends or are just chatting in lobbies. You don’t exactly explicitly refer to him as your boyfriend, but you say his name—and so does Hange—and people kinda get the picture.
Hange constantly asking for Levi when you guys are playing together. It’s one of the few times Levi comes into your chat/comments to tell them to shutup. (Yes, your subscribers go crazy for the glimpse of Levi on your channel).
He’s not a gamer, and he sees no reason to disturb your streams by appearing if you don’t ask. But, also, he’s a little camera shy, not that he’d ever tell you that. You’ve got a lot of followers, he’s not prepared to be live in front of thousands of people every night; he’ll leave that up to you.
Levi built nearly everything in your gaming setup. From the adjustable standing desks, to the wall mounts for your accessories and decorations, to your chair, to the shelves. He built it all and tailored it to your exact taste and to fit your room perfectly.
So, sometimes you feel bad when people ask about stuff because you can’t exactly give them a link or recommendation—“Oh thank you! The thing is, my—well, Levi built the desk for me so you can’t buy it—but! There are some similar ones at IKEA!!”
(Levi scoffs ever so lightly when he sees that clip. His craftsmanship cannot be found at IKEA, but they can try).
He also helped mount the TV in your room so that the cables were hidden and everything. Truly a godsend. And whenever you wanna move things around, he’s there to help you. Sometimes he even has ideas of his own, “You were looking at accent walls the other day right? I think you could do something with this back wall…”
He does play games with you, just usually offscreen. He’s scarily good at first person shooters… even tho he claims to not have any past experience with them… extremely suspicious activity.
And when he mains D.Va and Symmetra then what. Then what.
Just don’t ask him to play Fornite. Ever. (He’d be good at it, but he feels so fucking dumb playing it especially when he can hear that he is competing against a twelve year old pls).
He plays games by himself, too. Think “classic” run of the mill console videos games, I guess, nothing too crazy; Zelda, Mario, Kirby… Animal Crossing. His island is nothing short of immaculate, his only regret is that he doesn’t have oranges as his island fruit. Levi really likes oranges (he got peaches instead).
He knows that you’re pretty popular and he’s super proud of you. That doesn’t mean he likes to see fancam style edits of you on his feed. He knows that you’re pretty but still 🙄🙄
Constantly on the look out for computer/keyboard parts that you mentioned. If he sees it online or anywhere else, he’ll try and snag it for you <3 that goes for new console games, too.
He’ll also periodically upgrade some of the tech in your setup. Get you a better mic, some more lighting for your desk, a cute desk mat he thinks you might like. He’s observant, so he knows your taste in design and takes note of things you mention.
Okay okay okay but imagine putting the headphones with the kitty ears on him. He wouldn’t even notice at first and then you turn on the LEDs and bam. Very focused, very cute kitty Levi playing games on your PC.
If you’ve got a merch store, he helps you run it, and by that I mean, he practically runs it for you. Periodically, he might even have a design idea. You can count on him to get things out for shipping right on time. It’s one of his many ways of supporting you.
He’s also the one who remembers to check your P.O. box for packages from fans and from companies. It was his idea initially, too (he wasn’t too crazy about anyone, even major brands having your home address on file).
Look, he knows you’ve got some super fans, and some people who really do adore you. That doesn’t mean he’s necessarily happy when you get sent non-tech or gaming related merch (like jewelry or shoes or whatever). If he happens to put them a little bit out of sight then no he did not <2
Occasionally he’ll meet someone who recognizes your name when it comes up in conversation. He very proudly confirms that yes, he is talking about you, the streamer.
Sometimes, people will even recognize him back—“Oh, so you’re Levi, then!” Obviously. You only have one Levi in your life 🙄🙄
#🖤 anon#no bc him being a little camera shy is so cuteeeee#so easy for him to grumble and play it off as his normal grumpy aloof self but he’s shyyyyyyyyy#it’s okay levi you’re handsome and the people love you 😚😚😚😚#levi.ask
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There was the silence and there were the stars | Corpse husband x reader -Among Us AU
Among us AU : There was something. Something in the silence and the harsh coldness -that only space was capable of- that turned your brain into a sarcastic and bored mess. Maybe that’s why you found yourself so interested by any sabotage pulled on the crewmates, maybe that’s what made him so interesting to witness. He was different from the rest of you. Different to an extend you were about to understand.
❚ Word count : 4.2k
❚ Warning : A bit angsty but you will get that fluffity fluff and touch starve feeling you require I promise ; swearing
❚ Note : there will be no mention of death or killing as it is basically a real life Among us, just some shenanigans. Y/C : your/color
A/N : This little thing was inspired by -⭐️ anon. It was a fun thing to write even though it took me way too long because I asked my brain “sir may I pls have the focus capacity I need” and brain said no (: so yeah, this is litteraly just me ranting n complaining about space. This is a bit angsty but as what if is way too happy for me that was a nice opportunity. I hope you won’t mind and appreciate it anyway. As always just let me know. As it’s my first time writing like a one shot thingy I’m really curious to know. Also it’s supposed to be proofread but if you find any mistake just take ur glasses off. Thanks. Enjoy the wild ride.
You met him again. He was fixing wires while you were downloading some files on the computer. Difficulties happened regularly around here; various oddities that occurred from time to time, sometimes a few times a day. It would go from doors closing mysteriously to no electricity, you never knew which one it would be. Those inconveniences used to draw a smile on your lips, a grin you tried your best to hide from everyone else. The sound of the urging siren resounded in your head like a call, reviving the last spared spark left in your brain. At this point, you were pretty sure it was one of your crewmates’ doing, too many coincidences for any other options to be left. You didn’t mind though. The game started months ago but still amused you to this day.
He never let a word escape his mouth. To your awareness, no one knew anything about him, no one had ever heard the sound of his voice which you could only dare to imagine since the two of you met. It felt silly, you fabricated this voice inside your head, a half-finished melody you played to keep your mind busy. It would have sounded just as an old piano would. So slightly out of tune that maybe, if you didn’t care enough or wished for it not to be true, you wouldn’t even notice.
You called him black. It resonated with the color of his suit and the darkness that emanated from his soul. Not that he looked like a mischievous character, but rather like someone who would have been gnawed by life for years. A shade that reminded you of the bittersweet feeling 4 AM forced you to taste. Describing that presentiment was a challenge you couldn’t take. It was one of those things that had to be felt, not narrated.
Shit.
He caught you staring again. How could you look any other way? There was something with him that appealed to you, that pulled your eyes toward his direction every time. Probably only a peak of unwarranted curiosity you couldn’t really be blamed for, probably the oh-so mysterious aura that floated so carelessly around him. He always had this way of sneaking in and out, just as if he was nothing but his own shadow.
Yet, being near him was easy. Silence only felt comfortable when he was in your surroundings. The whole world stopped existing -and it had in fact since the first day you two met.
He had dark charcoal hair which fell so perfectly in curly strands around the two horns that crowned over his head. Paired with two ruby hued eyes, he truly was a sight for sore eyes. A wicked and breathtaking beauty, so unique it gave you the impression that he wasn’t even human.
He used to hop in a vent after finishing his tasks. As if his true home was there; a secret hideout for him and him only. You didn’t even know it was a thing before you watched it with your own eyes. Who wouldn’t blame him. If you could have escaped that warmth deprived place too, even for 5 minutes, you would have.
That’s why you never asked any question about it nor tried to investigate further. Being stuck in space was only a kid’s fantasy, nothing a fully conscious adult would inflict to themselves. Which, in itself, was pretty much self-explanatory about everyone’s mental condition in here.
It was also a pre-established rule, no questions. No one ever expressed it out loud, but you would have to be a fool not to guess it. Every crewmate grew accustomed to the deadly silence only space had to offer. A giant timeless hole where nothing really happened. With nothing but the smell of technology and the constant purr of engines as the only distractions left. See, living in a spaceship was no ordinary lifestyle : days and nights melted into each other until it became nothing but a groundless concept. The crewmates perceived it as comforting for some reason. You used to shrug it off, no questions. How unethical would you be to disturb their peace?
If you had to be honest, you would probably say that you felt bad for Black. Nothing like pity, but being alone in this stark and brutal silence for this long must have been pretty life-consuming. That’s why, even though it made your cheeks and the tip of your ears flame up in a raw and unforgivable tint of pink, you always kept looking into his eyes for one more second after he noticed you. Just to be sure he knew that he wasn’t alone in this shit hole. You stared into the depth of those ruby eyes, hunting for silent answers to questions you weren’t even sure of in the first place. He never quivered, only stood motionless until his task was completed. Just locking the eye contact. After that, he always ran away as silently as he existed. Leaving your head disturbingly empty.
Every single time.
Something changed one day. You were about to prepare some test samples when it happened. He jumped off a vent and you followed his movements from the corner of your eyes, too distracted to remember about the task that was assigned to you. He ran to the door and proceeded to shut it. Within the last second, the one that always lasted hours, he put an index in front of his mouth. Silently asking for you not to say a word. And before the steel door could obstruct your vision completely, you noticed a smile on his lips. A smile that made the whole spaceship turn inside out, draining the blood out of your body in a painstaking, almost sore way. There you stood, intoxicated by stupefaction and trapped as a cat.
Black mutated you into a self-depreciating joke : in here, you were only interestied in the impostor. The only one who made your day a little better was the one giving nightmares to the others.
It was him, from the beginning. It was him and he smiled. A grin that twinkled maliciously from his lips to his eyes, wounding your heart in an insoluble way. It made every prejudice you had about him crumble : he was no longer that miserable existence you sensed he was but a quiescent sun that could radiate all around him once unleashed into the world. How did he do that? How could he be both the tunnel and the light at the end of it?
When red came to the rescue, she described you with a glare. She judged you in the not-so-pleasant way. You could always count on those glares to know their opinions about you. Because their judgment would have to be expressed one way or another. She thought you looked suspicious, with your half poured concoction into a hand and the rest of it in the other, just staring blankly into the void. You wouldn’t blame her for that.
It stuck with you for days, filling your empty mind with the sight of a smile that could no longer be experienced. The scene shamelessly repeated itself in your mind until it became nothing but a progression of disassembled images, forcing you to taste the astonishment over and over again. The problem was, you hadn’t seen him for days. And, even though you wanted to know what happened, you couldn’t ask. That was the rule.
What would you say anyway ? Black is the imposter and I watched him close medbay’s door ? Yeah, I don’t think so. You should have stopped him in the first place -and you would have if you weren’t just mesmerized.
So, you took each day -or night … or piece of time, whatever you wanted to call it since it was no longer existent- with composure. Forcing yourself to do any task with a meticulousness that didn’t look like you. Just to make sure your brain was busy enough not to think about it or him. Being trapped in a place and being trapped in your own mind are two different wrestles, yet in here those two intertwined perfectly. Just like the rest of it, it didn’t even make any sense : the guy smiled at you for ten seconds and here you were, an absolute clutter of questions and recollection. You were probably just too bored and he, as always, was the perfect distraction. That must have been it, right?
You walked in admin. Your heart skipped a beat before your eyes could process who stood in front of them.
Look what the cat dragged in.
His hair twirled flawlessly above his face, almost hiding a grimace that indicated so transparently his mind. You leaned against the door frame and crossed your arms, unabashedly watching him as he swiped his card frantically while sighting heavily every time that “bip” of failure rang.
Eventually, he looked at you with an expression you couldn’t quite read. You tried anyway, staring at him as if he was some sort of work of art that needed to be decrypted. From the way his chest moved heavily under the pressure of the irritation to the way his glowing eyes witnessed you. This expression on his face gave him a funny look, a scowl which made the laugh that tickled your throat hard to hold back.
“Y-you have to do it slower. Otherwise, it won’t work” you stuttered. “I guess it’s harder since …”
You walked to him carefully, so carefully you forgot your words. Just as if he was a wild animal who could run away if scared. Making sure no step would fall out of line. He was so close, so close, maybe if you tried to catch him this time he would stop running away.
“Since it’s not my job, right ? Is that what you were about to say ?” he asked with a low voice, a voice you would have never dared to picture for him. Not the broken tone you pictured but a melody so sweet and so unique it felt like it was made just for your ears to enjoy, taunting you to dive into his mind.
“Do you need help” ?
“I- hum- You’re not supposed to help me, you know ?” he stuttered, visibly amused, judging by the way his eyes wrinkled under his smile.
“Are you gonna lock me in the room once again ?” He shook his head as a chuckle escaped from his lips. “Then who cares” you finally breathed.
Your fingers brushed against his warm skin as you grabbed the card. You tried to appear unbothered, hoping so intensely for the swipe to be a first try success. That way, maybe he wouldn’t notice the way you breathed heavily under the weight of your pounding heart. But those red eyes piercing through the depth of your soul were hardly bearable for those like you who suffered from unbeknownst afflictions.
You grew aware of his every move, the way those eyes fell on you, the perfume that emanated from his skin, the sound of his slow yet noticeable respiration.
You gave him his card back and he captured your fingers in the palm of his hand, making it impossible for you to escape his grip. Hiding those blushing cheeks from a sight that seemed to see everything was a defiance only the proudest people would be capable of. It wasn’t your case, but you counted on preserving the last sane cells left in your body.
“Your secret is safe with me.” You whispered, avoiding any eye contact.
“I know that.”
A simple answer that would never be enough to satisfy you. Yet, before you could review the best option of an answer, he left. Just as he always did, he walked away silently -still this time it seemed to last an eternity- while you just stood there inertly as you watched his black silhouette disappear into the endless gray hallways.
You finally caught the breath you had been holding this whole time. Leaning over, you observed your reflection into the screen of the digital tablet as you rubbed your hands together, hoping for that strange spike of electricity that ran through your fingers to fade away quickly. A mess.
“There you are, Corpse” green said as he sat cross-legged in black’s secret place “I’ve been looking for you.”
Corpse was the name green chose for Black, feeling like it would be the most suitable image for the one who always worked in the shadow. Not the most refined nickname, yet black ironically related to that. Silent as a Corpse, he thought. A level of sarcasm that amused him and which probably led to him immediately falling in love with it.
Corpse observed the little sprout on the top of Green’s head. It floated lightly and followed his every move. What a little freak. Just a thing deprived of any sort of self consciousness, out of this world just like he felt he was. Corpse remained fixated on it, hoping he could get as self-aware as it was. The last impromptu reunion he had with you was nothing he had planned, nothing that should have happened. He wouldn’t exactly call it a mistake and still, he had no one else but him to blame.
“Did something happened with y/c ? You seem a little flustered.” Green asked, pulling Corpse out of his overflowed mind.
“I don’t know, I think I kinda fucked up.” He replied with a shrug. “I’ve been spotted.”
“Was it really a mistake ?”
Green was the only one who was granted with the privilege of learning how to understand Corpse. Because, deep inside, they grew up to be the same kind : the kind that didn’t belong here. Two sides of the same coin.
Green’s social intelligence, on the other hand, Black didn’t like it that much. Thanks to that guy, he would be able to work comfortably in the darkness, where no one could see him, but it also meant that he saw clearly what was going through Corpse’s mind. Actually, it didn’t take him too long.
What was the surprise when he realized it was you who lived rent-free in his thoughts? See, in Corpse’s eyes you were different from the others : too conscious about the reality that happened before yours eyes. It made you interesting to observe. What a delightful sight it was to watch you rolling your eyes in your crewmates’ face, to notice the serious look you had when you were focused on a task, the way your eyes sparkled every time a new sabotage was made. He wouldn’t track you, yet he would never resist a peek once your paths crossed. It happened often, more than you actually realized.
Yet, Corpse was no fool. You and him never belonged together. You were destined to a bright destiny and he was the obscurity. That’s why he was more than careful not to get too close, not to see his bare mind get burnt under the exposition of those peculiar feelings in the pit of his stomach.
That’s why his previous reaction made no sense to him. But what could he say? You took him aback when those words were directed at him. You made his short-circuited brain unable to be sensible anymore. He just wanted to know what your touch would feel like under his fingers. Why was his skin blazing with electricity now ?
Corpse swallowed it all. From the blossoming feeling inside his body and mind to the warmth and the softness of your skin. He couldn’t feel that way. “I’m not really sure.” he finally said, as honest as he could be with himself.
He would spend his next few days planning with Green, cornering you to a small part of his brain. You couldn’t be there, you had no right to be. The game was progressing faster than they anticipated it. It made him thrilled, accepting the challenge no one but the two of them could bear.
However, a new unwanted seed grew into his mind. The idea that, maybe, you were only by his side in this game. That, maybe he would never be able to witness your existence in the real world.
“Have you ever noticed how weird the stars look sometimes ?” Corpse asked as he joined navigation. You jumped and your mind turned into a scattered place stuck between a task you battled to achieve and the proximity left between the two of you. Your heart beat in rhythm with his echoing, never ending footsteps. Still you had, indeed, noticed. “It’s like they’re not even real” you answered with a smile that made your voice higher. A melodic lift that betrayed your intention of ever finishing your job.
When you finally looked at him, his lips moved into a satisfied curve. Shivers tickled your arms and your neck. Maybe because he was just standing so perfectly still in front of the glass window. So perfectly still that, among all those celestial bodies, he appeared to be the most beautiful one. “Mind keeping me company for a bit?” Your mouth betrayed you when the question escaped your grip. But Corpse snorted faintly and shook his head.
“From all the people in here you want to spend time with me ? That’s probably not your wisest decision.” He said as he tried to muffle a high pitch laugh with a hand that covered his mouth.
See, that’s the words he had been afraid of since the first time he saw you. The words he would have to turn into derision since he knew he would have no strength to refuse. Yet, you stood there with those glimmering eyes and those eyebrows that arched in a strange manner, cutting every single inch of air out of his lungs. Even if he wanted to say no -and he should- he wouldn’t have been able to.
It was never meant to happen, not judging by your two so hostily opposed nature. Fuck that shit. Who cared about that speech when you were here and you were so beautiful?
You moved closer to him, a strenuous and slow tense that shouldn’t be disregarded. You’ve had seen the same scenery for months yet never it made you feel the same way as you did at that very moment. Because those balls of lights floating into the void shimmered in his ruby hued iris just as a dozen of fireflies would. He made your world a little blurry, narrowed to his presence at your side.
“You forgave me really easily the last time we met.” He noticed. “That’s a little sus if you asked me.”
“Well, what can I say ? You’re the only distraction I have left, so I’m not really in the position to hold grudges.” You shrugged sarcastically.
“You’re really funny, I have to concede that” he said as his smile made its way to his eyes.
Your brutally honest words intertwined with his chuckles and crewmates never heard the spaceship as lively as that time. That time when you got to discover who Corpse really was. A man who hid his blooming existence behind a silence.
“Why did you stay silent this whole time ?” You dared to ask before the silence fell upon the two of you, a silence that maybe you wouldn’t be able to endure this time.
“Because I never wanted to lie”
“I- ...hum- there’s really nothing I could say against that, right ?”
With every grin, every chuckle, every abrupt eye contact, your proximity kept embedding his mind a little deeper until you stole the stars’ show completely. It’s no good, you held his breath hostage when he realized he could feel the warmth stemming out of your skin. So tempted to get closer and witness it with further clearness.
Thus, he lifted a hand that starved connection. He tried to close the gap between your two touches so prudently, so discreetly that you didn’t even notice. A touch, that would go beyond his movement, more like a proof he needed to make sure someone like you really existed in a shithole like this.
He was so close.
Yet, the alarm rang before he could embrace the object of his desire. “Better check that out quickly” you said with a sigh. Somehow, it felt peculiar just knowing that, this time, you were the one running away. A sense of some sort of joke played by space. As if space hadn’t done enough. When Green cut the communication, he couldn’t realize -If only he knew the double meaning of that sabotage. Ah, the irony of it all.
“I’ll see you soon” Corpse informed you, more of a promise than a farewell and he stayed there long enough, staring numbly at his hand.
You ran until the communication room, holding this bittersweet feeling on the tip of your tongue. You tried to swallow it and almost found yourself praying that no one would arrive before you could. This way, maybe your fugue would make more sense.
Blue was already sitting on the floor, trying to find the good frequencies. “I’m already on it.” she said on a plain, monotone voice. Of course, she fucking would be.
Now what was left to do ? Corpse was probably already gone and-and the silence … the silence had returned. A dead, cold, cruel silence. It tested out your nerves, built up some pressure down your throat that made keeping your composure barely possible. Corpse slipped between your fingers again. The game was no longer a funny and pleasant diversion from the plain, austere daily life you had. You grew tired of that cat and mouse game. You just wanted him.
After going back to the oh-so empty navigation room, you completed your tasks. And you were finally done. You wandered around for hours, days -who knows-, searching for a purpose.
The game was coming to an end, you could feel it. Something in the air changed, it became dryer than ever. Unbearable on your skin that ached for something you couldn’t apprehend. The crewmates were agitated, everyone kept running around day and night just to make sure the last tasks would be completed as soon as possible. New difficulties were triggered almost as soon as the last ones ended. Chaos.
Just as if he wasn’t ready to end the game so soon, as if he didn’t want to get the hell out of this place as much as you did. From time to time, you almost found yourself eager to ignore the alarm. Taunting him one last time by neglecting his call.
Maybe that way he would show up, maybe that way he would stay with you. Yeah, maybe that way he would stop being nothing but an ephemeral being that almost made you wonder if you finally gave up on your mind to the silence. Because at that moment he only felt like a chimera your brain created to protect you. Because you were just so fucking bored.
You gave up on that idea, turning on the CCTV as you sighed. Just to see more colorful suits running around, trying to hold their shit together for what appeared to be the ultimate hour. Despite all the sabotages, it seemed like your number made your strength. You imagined Corpse’s face, probably piqued. A dark frown covering his pretty eyes. It made your lips twitch for a second. Who knew it would end this way ? Definitely not you.
Yet that amused smile faded away when you heard the familiar sound of the door closing, locking you in yet another time. You rolled your eyes and turned around, unprepared to witness who locked themselves with you. His body laid against the door, guarding it as his chest moved frenetically under the weight of his rushing breath.
“This is the end” he whispered frantically under his breath. He doesn’t look as worried as you thought he would, but it didn’t matter. You moved impulsively toward him, never stopping until he snaked a hand around your waist and slipped the other one in your back. That way, this time, there were no escape.
He let his head rest in the hollow of your neck, soaking the divine and comforting warmth you had to offer. His warm breath on your skin sent shivers through your body which responded by squeezing him a little tighter, holding him as close to your heart as humanly possible. You could feel his, beating so fast.
“This is the end.” His whisper grounded on your skin.
He lifted his head to dive into your eyes with the same sweet smile you offered him. The one which expressed the happiness, the relievment it felt to embrace him.
“If it were for you, I would do it all over again.” You said, pressing your forehead against his, sharing a breath as you closed your eyes. One last attempt to memorize everything about him. You sensed his smile, so wide you didn’t even have to look at it to see. He left a trail of kisses on your cheeks and your hand wandered in his hair as a faint gasp escaped your lips.
Corpse looked back at you. And then, as his thumb drew light circles on your cheek. With glowing eyes that translated all the adoration he felt for you, he whispered “Maybe it was just meant to be”. And then, he closed the distance between the two of you, brushing your lips softly at first before capturing them completely once he was sure you felt the same way as he did. A kiss that tasted like 4AM and home.
“I’ll find my way back to you, my love. I’ll find you in the real world.” He promised.
#corpse husband#corpse#corpse husband fic#corpse husband x reader#corpse husband x you#corpse husband x y/n#among us au#corpse x you#corpse x reader#corpse x y/n#corpse scenario#corpse imagine#corpse among us#corpse fluf#corpse angst
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More Human Than Human | dark!Bucky Barnes x Reader (Blade Runner AU)
[for @nellblazer‘s eighties-themed challenge! thanks for hosting babe, sorry it’s slightly late!]
warnings: smut (noncon), choking, violence/guns/fighting, degradation, general nastiness. and less importantly, just a shitload of gifs to create ~atmosphere~
word count: 3.5k
Early in the 21st century, the Tyrell Corporation advanced robot evolution into the Nexus phase -- a being virtually identical to a human -- known as a REPLICANT.
The Nexus 6 Replicants were superior in strength and agility, and at least equal in intelligence, to the genetic engineers who created them.
Replicants were used Off-world as slave labor, in the hazardous exploration and colonization of other planets.
After a bloody mutiny by a Nexus 6 combat team in an Off-world colony, Replicants were declared illegal on earth -- under penalty of death.
Special police squads -- BLADE RUNNER Units -- had orders to shoot to kill, upon detection, any trespassing Replicant.
This was not called execution.
This was called retirement.
“Officer Barnes.”
Bucky looked up from his instant ramen, extremely disinterested in interacting with his supervisor but aware that he didn’t have much of a choice.
“New lead on a hideout somewhere beneath the city. One of the females from our favorite renegade crew of Off-world slaves.”
Bucky paused before responding.
“...somewhere?” he mumbled around a mouthful of noodles.
“I’ve already uploaded the coordinates to your vehicle.”
Bucky sighed quickly. “Can I finish this first?” he asked, pointing to the noodles with his chopsticks.
“Intel’s fresh. Let’s get there while it’s still accurate. You know how quick they move.”
“Can’t someone else do it?”
The supervisor cracked a crooked grin, toothy and dirty. Bucky grimaced.
“Come on,” the man suddenly became jovial, though his attempted manipulation was obvious, “you know you’re the best. This has been a tough nut to crack, they’ve killed a lot of people and the other Blade Runners… they don’t have what you have. They’re too green. I need my best guy for this; I need the Winter Soldier.”
“You know I hate that name,” Bucky shook his head, “and I don’t like retiring the newer models. They’re too… smooth. Too real.”
“They’re not real,” the man assured, all friendliness lost from his voice as his impatience took over. “And they’re dangerous. Now get in the damn car and retire the bitch.”
Bucky sighed, tossing his half-finished meal into the trash and clipping his blaster back onto his belt.
The bustling of the city was mostly muted inside the station, but once he stepped outside into the rain, he was bombarded with it all: the damp, wet air; the conversations of everyone passing by, mostly shouted into earpieces in languages he only roughly understood; the smell of exhaust, cigarette smoke, and stir fry cooking at a nearby food stall.
He brushed past the crowds to make his way to the car lot, taking a slightly longer but less crowded route. He was really good at ignoring things in times like this. He ignored the noise that most would’ve found overwhelmingly loud, as well as the misty rain and humid night breeze.
He ignored the shouts of someone in the distance as he got into the car, which turned its own engine as he scanned his badge. The intel blinked onto the screen, informing him of the rogue units and their apparent location. As he confirmed his route, he scrolled through the files. The information was limited, the result of a recent hack on the LAPD’s computer system attempting to prevent exactly what he was doing now: hunting you down.
You navigated through the busy streets as you made your way back home after dinner. You very rarely went out, fearful you would be spotted by someone important, but you had realized after months of hiding that if someone was going to find you, they would have by now.
Peddlers carried bags and baskets of ingredients-- all of them just repurposed and manufactured chemical byproducts-- past you along the sidewalk. The food was the thing you really loved about Earth. Off-world there was only basic, raw protein in bars. You had only recently become aware that there was more to food than sustenance and survival, and even now you couldn’t imagine eating the same thing for every meal despite having done it your entire life.
A lot of concepts were being introduced to you on Earth, in fact. Earth was dirtier than your off-world accommodations. More smoke, more dust. After all, earth was the word for the dirt the planet was covered in. There was no earth, no dirt, in space. That didn’t mean it was clean, of course, but it was cleaner than this. Now you were kicking litter to the side as you moved forward, ignoring strewn pieces of cardboard and scrap metal that gathered at the edges of buildings and roads.
Where space had been empty and cold, Earth was alive but overwhelming. The truth was, you realized now that beauty had come from your experiences off-world. Not that it justified your enslavement, but you had experienced things you figured you never would again: community, for one.
You could hear the dog barking as you opened your door, and he jumped up onto your legs in excitement. It was impossible not to smile with this animal greeting you so excitedly; you understood now why humans liked them enough to keep creating artificial ones, although since you had found this one abandoned in the street, clearly they were manufacturing too many.
Shutting the door behind you, you grabbed the leash you kept draped with your coats, collaring the dog to take him for his last walk of the night. As you left you glanced out your window, jumping up when you saw an LAPD car landing outside your building. He probably wasn’t here for you, right? You decided to take the back way out, but he was already ahead of you.
Down the hallway you saw the figure of a man approaching you. You could tell just by the way he walked that he was a Blade Runner, and your blood went cold. The good thing about your model was that you blended in with humans. You’d only gotten better at it in the past few months. You just hoped you were good enough.
Turning and beginning to walk away, he waved you down and you froze, realizing it was too late to run.
“Is it real?” he asked as he stepped up and you turned to face him; for a second, you didn’t know what he was referring to, but then he looked down to the dog.
You followed his gaze and laughed. “If it was real, don’t you think I’d be living somewhere nicer than this?”
He looked at the door behind you. “So you live here?”
You hesitated, and already he knew that you were going to tell him that you needed to be on your way.
He was a step ahead of you, flashing his badge quickly. “LAPD business.”
“What… is the LAPD’s business with me?” you asked slowly.
“Why don’t you let me in and we’ll talk about it?” he suggested.
“I was just about to walk him--”
“It can wait,” he interrupted sternly, his expression hardening a little. “Won’t take long, leave the dog outside.”
You nodded quickly, tying the leash to a handrail with your shaking hands; you slipped back into the apartment, shutting your door after he followed you in.
“So, officer…”
“Barnes.”
“Right. Officer Barnes. Would you like something to… drink?”
He shook his head, taking a seat at your dining table like he owned the place. He motioned for you to sit across from him as if he owned you, too. You did, because for all intents and purposes in this moment, he did.
The Blade Runner set his weapon on the table slowly.
You swallowed dryly, looking at it before turning your gaze to the window, and the blue-green reflections of the city outside. “It’s time for my retirement, huh?”
In the peripheral of your vision, he nodded.
“Did the others put up a fight?”
He paused before answering, like he was remembering. Remembering the deaths of your friends. “They tried,” he eventually said.
You looked down, taking a deep breath. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, but I may not answer.”
“Why do you do this?”
“It’s my job.”
“Yes, but, you don’t have to do anything. I was a slave. I really did have to do everything. You have choice; you have an entire life to live. Why would you spend it doing this?”
He laughed a little-- not so much a laugh as a sharp exhale through his nose, like you were delusional, like your opinion was a complete waste of his time.
“Nevermind,” you scoffed, “I know why you do it. You hate us. You think we’re all evil.”
He shook his head. “Machines are like anything: good or bad. If they’re good, they’re not my problem.”
“You think I’m a machine?” you asked incredulously, nodding to his bionic arm. He winced, like he thought you hadn’t noticed, but even a leather jacket and biker gloves couldn’t hide his dirty little secret from you. You were a little too observant for that.
“Lost this arm to one of your kind,” he explained with a scowl.
“I lost everything to your kind,” you hissed.
He smiled a little. “You never had anything to lose. You never had anything.”
“And whose fault is that?”
He shrugged. “Not mine.”
You sighed with exhaustion; humans were all the same. They spent all their lives deflecting blame, shirking responsibility. “My name is--”
“I know your name,” he interrupted firmly. “N6FQB21416.”
You grimaced. “That’s not a name, that’s a serial number.”
“I don’t really give a shit about either. What worries me is the offenses listed in your file.” He cleared his throat as he recalled the list. “Launched a mutiny which killed 14 men. Stole a ship. Illegally trespassed into Earth’s atmosphere. Killed 8 more people in your journey from the port to Los Angeles. And, presumably, you killed whoever was living here and have been squatting in their apartment ever since.”
You’d found it abandoned, actually, but there really wasn’t much point in disputing his claims.
He sighed before he spoke again. “All this over a few more months?”
You looked away, trying not to think about how much time you’d wasted seeking liberation from the built-in expiration on a replicant’s lifespan. It was ingrained in your DNA, you couldn’t stop it. You had been living in denial of this for quite some time now and you preferred to keep it that way.
“You’re going to die either way,” he added coldly, “so why all this violence? All the fighting?”
“Because for now, I’m still alive. To live is to fight.”
“I guess I can agree with that,” he replied gruffly.
With that, you made a run for the living room-- there was a gun under the couch, if you could just reach it in time--
But he was already on you, laughing at your pitiful clawing on the floor.
“Officer Barnes, please--” you begged with the last of your thin breath.
“Call me Bucky,” he instructed as his hand wrapped around your neck.
Your mouth opened to speak, to gasp for air, but it was useless.
“You weren’t a laborer, were you?” he growled, pinning you down. “You were a pleasure unit.”
You ignored his realization, continuing to attempt to fight.
“You’re weak,” he hissed, “I’m amazed you’re even trying. Don’t they train the fight out of you?”
He was right. They had. You’d been trained back into that instinct by the Resistance, but you weren’t made to fight. You weren’t even made to work. Your greatest purpose had always been to simply be beautiful and stay still.
“There are probably thousands just like you, you know. Identical in every way,” he explained coldly. “And you think you’re more human than me? You’re a fucking skinjob.”
“Fuck you,” you strained as his weight knocked the air out of you, your hands clawing fruitlessly for something to grab onto.
“Give into your instincts,” he encouraged as you felt his hands grabbing at the top of your leggings.
What was actually disgusting was that you did, for a moment, relaxing into his grip before your fight renewed again.
“Get off me! I’ll fucking kill you, I swear!” you yelped.
You couldn’t see it, but you felt the business end of his blaster press against your head. You stilled.
“You did this for years,” he reminded you. “What’s one more time?”
“You’re gonna retire me either way,” you hissed.
“Maybe I’ll let you live,” he shrugged.
“You’re a Blade Runner,” you shook your head. “All you know is killing.”
“It’s not killing,” he insisted. “You’re a replicant. All you know is obedience. Stay fucking still.”
You felt his weapon slide against your head a bit as he adjusted to holding it with one hand, the other moving to his belt.
It was humiliatingly easy to slip back into the mindless slave you’d been before. So much work to make you a freedom fighter, and it only took less than a minute to renege on it all.
You felt what must’ve been his cock rubbing near your opening, spreading the wetness he found there. “Fuck, you’re soaking,” he laughed mockingly.
He began to push forward and you thought he might split you in half; you cried out as he groaned with pleasure.
You heard him sigh as he buried himself in you, not moving for a moment and just basking in the feeling. If nothing else, you were thankful for the moment’s reprieve, but you would need a lot longer than he was likely to give if you were going to adjust to his size.
You could stop yourself from whimpering a little when he pulled nearly all the way out, the sound morphing suddenly into a yelp as he thrust forward roughly. His fingers were digging into your shoulder hard enough to bruise-- everything he was doing, he was doing hard enough to bruise. Did it always hurt this much? You couldn’t remember now.
“You’re tight,” he informed you through his teeth, sounding strained. “Almost better than the real thing.”
Tears welled in your eyes, more from his words than the pain at this point; more from being pinned to the floor than why you were pinned to the floor. You didn’t understand the opinion of replicants as ‘fake’. When cut, you bled. When hurt, you cried. Your body was as much flesh and blood as his-- moreso, in fact. You were the real thing, at least to the touch. You knew better than anyone that there was no soul in this body… but the body was real. Just as weak to him as a human would be.
Each movement inside you rocked you forward; you were worried you’d get seasick as you tried to focus on the feeling of the hardwood beneath your fingers and nothing else.
You felt your body begin to truly relax and go limp, and his weight on you lessened when he realized you would submit. “That’s it, just let go,” he encouraged quietly, moving his hands to your hips instead, pulling them up a little to push deeper into you. “Maybe it’d feel good if you let yourself enjoy it.”
Your enjoyment had never really been much of a factor before. You knew how to put on a show for the ones who got off on porn star moans and screams, but it was just for appearances. Even better than that, you knew how to lay there and take it, and that seemed like plenty for today.
He leaned forward and wrapped his hand around your neck, not tightening his grip but rather simply feeling your pulse beneath his fingers. Paradoxically, you felt your inner walls get slicker as they fluttered with pleasure.
“See?” he grinned, moving down until his breath was hot on the back of your neck. “You can like it.”
He fucked you with more vigor then, and you moaned.
“Fuck, you like it rough, don’t you?” he asked as his tone shifted from mocking to deadly serious. “I understand. You’ve done it so many times that this is the only way you can feel anything.”
You snorted out a weak laugh. “I could say the same to you.”
The metal hand, protected by his glove, shoved your face into the ground roughly as he fucked you harder than you’d known was possible. That glove was made of leather, and that leather came from an artificial bull. You realized that he thought of you as no better than that. You wondered if he was right.
“Say that you love it,” he hissed into your ear, pulling your hair roughly.
“I love it,” you answered quickly.
“Say that you love me,” he added with a growl.
“I love you.”
He laughed coldly, grabbing a handful of your ass as he watched himself sink into you, your body accepting him so easily just as your mind had begun to. “How’s it feel to get fucked by a Blade Runner, huh?”
“F-feels good,” you sobbed. “Please, don’t stop…”
“You gonna come? Can you even do that, do they let you?”
You could, though you almost never had. Against everything, a pressure was building in your body that you didn’t know how to stop.
“Bucky,” you groaned, a plea for something that you couldn’t put words to.
“Go ahead, come on my cock,” he permitted flippantly. You didn’t want to do anything he told you to, but somehow he was hitting all the most delicate places inside you. He moved even faster, chasing his own high, just as you reached yours.
Your nails dug into the floor as you came with a strained sob, your body quivering with white-hot shocks until your vision started to get spotty.
“Fuck,” he groaned from behind you, “you’re squeezin’ me, ‘s so tight…”
His words were lost to you; your ears were ringing, and though the height of the feeling had passed, you still felt incredibly sensitive. He showed no signs of stopping. You weren’t sure how much more you could take.
“Please, s-slow down,” you begged, reaching back to try to push him back by his hips. He grabbed your wrist and forced your arm into an awkward position behind your back.
“Don’t get greedy, doll,” he purred, the sarcastic petname making you feel a little nauseous. “I haven’t even come yet; isn’t that what you’re for? To make me feel good?”
You couldn’t answer as he started to choke you again, your sobs cut into silence.
“Don’t worry, ‘m close,” he grunted. “Gonna fill up this wet little cunt. You want it, don’t you?”
You nodded, fighting the numbness creeping into your face.
“Yeah, I know you do. Tell me how bad you want it,” he demanded as he released his grip.
“I want it so bad, Bucky!” you yelped suddenly, voice hoarse and desperate. “Come inside me, please--”
“Fuck!” he groaned one last time. You could feel his cock flexing and throbbing inside you as his movements began to slow, though he didn’t come to a full stop for quite some time. You’d never before been so sure that a man had emptied his entire load into you, but the way Bucky moaned made it undeniable. Even when he slowly pulled out, you still felt so full. And sore.
He sighed with relieved exhaustion, standing up and looking down at you for a second before walking to the other side of the room, finding your record player-- the record was still spinning.
He dropped the needle and smiled a little as the song came on: Sinatra.
“Wow, oldies. Are these yours or did you just find them here?” he asked you, turning back to face you again.
You didn’t answer, scowling at him as you tried to catch your breath.
“You’re still worn out then. Figured you’d be tougher.”
You turned away, pushing yourself off the floor and adjusting your clothes until you were at least mostly put back together.
You glanced to the window but he’d already reattached his weapon to his belt, and you knew he could get it out faster than you could jump through the glass. Not to mention the eight-story drop. As much as you didn’t want to be a slave again, you weren’t ready to be ‘retired,’ whether it be by the Blade Runner’s blaster or your own outrageous escape plan.
When you looked at him again, he was staring at you.
“You’ll give into your obedient instincts quicker next time, I bet,” he announced suddenly. The scary thing was that you weren’t upset by his words, just relieved, because a next time meant however many days until then that you would be spared. “Aren’t you tired of living on the run?”
You were. It hadn’t been so bad when it was you and your team against the world, living together in abandoned buildings and in the outskirts of the country where everything was desert and dry grass. But then you’d split up and tried to lay low, and it was lonely. As twisted as it was, Bucky using you reminded you of a long-forgotten purpose, ingrained deep into your mind… so deep you could never really let it go.
“Are you?” you returned his question, after a long time spent in thought.
“Yes,” he answered after an even longer pause. “But I think you’ll help with that.”
With that, he scooped you up into his arms and began to carry you out the door. “Somebody to come home to will be nice,” he considered wistfully, “even if it’s just for a few more months.”
#dark!bucky x reader#dark!bucky barnes#dark!bucky headcanons#dark!bucky smut#winter soldier smut#winter soldier non con#winter soldier x reader#winter soldier fanfiction#winter soldier x y/n#dark!bucky barnes x reader#dark!bucky barnes smut
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hi please infodump about technology and old web stuff ty
OIGHFJFF hello!!! I'm... I don't know what to say I feel like I've got to sort of like. be given something to talk about but I guess I can start off by how I initially got interested in these things! this post will be very long and I've tried to format it the best I can BUT here it is:
so to start off things my mom always noted about me that I was naturally inclined towards computers. I kind of learned how to type from a very young age too because she had me by her old pc (it was a win 95 plus) and had word open and just told me to write things. it was fun and epic as fuck but FROM WHAT I'VE BEEN TOLD. I kind of just left it open one day and it was open for daaays so the computer just... overheated to death though. this sound (skip to 0:36) is super nostalgic to me. makes me go back to when we didn't even have internet and we got internet connectivity by like... 2009 AFAIK. yahoo messenger and windows live messenger were still a thing!!! before the former shut down and the latter was (don't remember this clearly) integrated with Skype technologies around the time Microsoft bought out Skype and then it was done for after a year or so of this happening.
but fast forward to about 2012-2013. you're me and you're 10 years old, and you find a LOT of content about old pcs. mainly how they looked and sounded like, as well as people absolutely going batshit on command prompt and deleting everything (these are called destruction videos). sort of everything led to another and I found a channel that exists up to this day that was focused around viruses! and even until now I'm still very interested in them. my primary interest in computers (and extending to phones as well) is how the insides work. it's super interesting to be picking apart the 'brain' of a machine you basically feed it commands to execute... and of course the process is literally done in the blink of an eye. nothing we would ever properly notice (unless for x y z reasons your machine is slowing down)
moving on from this talk I'd like to talk about a really famous and notorious virus, the loveletter worm! also commonly called ILOVEYOU, it was written in visual basic script (vbs) and caused a lot of destruction. its primary way of appealing and spreading quick is because of its nature, like it kind of takes advantage of the user emotionally (social engineering) like. oh you got a love letter! (except it's a worm!)
how do you not know that? windows automatically hides file extensions unless a user disables the option from file explorer (I can't. remember it entirely rn I'm not even on pc but this is a thing, in older windows versions it was in folder options), so an unsuspecting user wouldn't know this is a vbs file and instead would think it's a text file, as it appeared to be when you'd download it from Microsoft Outlook.
what loveletter would do -and made it one of the most destructive viruses with over a million computers infected and probably I think billions in damage- was when executed, it would overwrite all files with a copy of itself. so like... you would lose important data (didn't overwrite .exes afaik, just images and text files etc), which at the time was a Very Bad Thing. still is if you get a nasty ransomware. it was also very simple code wise if I remember correctly, which was a reason why there were so many variants of this.
overall I feel like old school viruses have more personality to them. like there was only one recent virus that did have attributes (mostly destructive ones but there were also annoying but harmless viruses) pertaining to old school viruses BUT as of late, especially with how bitcoin has become very lucrative and mainstream like an 'untapped' gold mine (bitcoin farmers die challenge), most viruses fall under the ransomware category, where all your files (not critical ones) are encrypted and under X amount of time you'll need to pay Y amount of btc to a specific wallet, unless you wanna lose your files. one in specific was so bad (I think it was wannacry? I cannot remember for the life of me) that Microsoft, a few years prior to ending Windows XP updates as it'd reached end of service, put out an update/security patch for said operating system. that's obviously like... big news, but also shows the magnitude of the problem.
um that's all I had to say personally!!! if you do want to check out videos not only about viruses and stuff but also computers in general I would suggest Enderman (has really cool experiments like installing windows on a RAM (that later cannot be booted from because... it gets wiped after a shutdown)), Flytech Videos (I suggest the Microsoft edge protocol series, as well as the fork bomb + regedit vid where they delete each major directory at the time and see the results) and all time favorite, and the channel that jump started my interest when I was in elementary school, danooct1 :)
thanks for asking and I hope this was cohesive!!
#one day I'd like to talk about how Vista wasn't bad just Microsoft fucked the OS over but there's also a good video on that#also everything leading up to the metallica dmca claim (baby steps of online piracy!!!)#thanks anon ifjfjg I feel very self conscious I hope this is okay... I'm by no means an expert (yet. I want to school for comp sci.) but#a lover of the object and subject is all I am#asks#answered#anonymous#long post
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Watch My Lips (NSFW)
*Not my gif*
Pairing: Antonio Dawson x Reader
Requested: Yes
Prompt: Antonio steps up to teach the reader a few things
Warnings: Smut (18+), swearing
A/N: I took a small page out of the Peter and Gabby book (I really miss Mills) anyway I don’t in any shape or form speak Spanish so blame google translate if anything is wrong, what they’re saying will be in English in parenthesis after just in case.
“Dawson, we need you.” Hailey yelled coming out from the back. Looking up from his desk he gave Jay a questioning look, “he only speaks Spanish.” Upton explained. Antonio nodded closing his file before locking his gun up and following her back. You contemplated between continuing to work or going to watch your partner question the suspect for a few seconds before giving into yourself. Against your better judgment you saved your file on your computer getting up to walk back as well. Kim catching your arm as you passed her desk amused smirk covering her face,
“What?” You asked.
“Where are you going?” She wondered.
“Just going to watch.” You shrugged making her smile grow wider,
“And is there any particular reason you’re going to stand back there and listen to people talk in a language you don’t understand?” She raised an eyebrow at you making your face blush a deep shade of red shifting on your feet,
“Shut up!” You begged looking around to make sure nobody was watching, making her laugh loudly.
“Hey I ain’t here to judge just here to enjoy the show.” She winked, turning back to her computer. Sighing loudly you shoved her in the arm taking the steps to head back to the room opposite of Antonio.
So, Kim may have been your best friend and might have known about your crush on Antonio. Of course taking any opportunity to tease you about them as if she wasn’t doing the same things with Ruzek. Antonio was hot any day of the week, but add on him speaking a different language, being able to watch the way it rolls off his tongue, and the confidence he has while doing it, had you sweating, heat rising in your body.
“Hey.” Jay spoke coming up behind you, making you jump a mile as he laughed out loud. “Looking a little flustered there [Y/L/N].” He smirked.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Halstead.” You huffed.
“Yeah, okay. You keep telling yourself that. You might want to pull yourself together before Voight comes in though.” Jay winked, an accusing smile on his face.
————
You were a little zoned out heading back to the district later in the day. Antonio was talking your ear off, but your mind kept drifting. You were normally really good at keeping your thoughts and feelings at bay, but looking at him today for some reason caused a wetness to pool between your thighs. Could’ve been his new haircut, could’ve been the way his jeans fit him just right, or maybe the v-neck he was supporting that day because damn you weren’t sure how his arms even fit in it to be honest fighting the urge to reach out and squeeze them.
“Earth to [Y/N]?” Antonio cleared his throat making your eyes shoot up to meet his face immediately turning red.
“Yeah? Sorry what were you saying?” You swallowed, turning to look away from him.
“I’m just saying someone is going to have to learn Spanish before I retire.” Antonio pointed out.
“Yeah cause lord knows that’ll be sooner rather than later.” You teased, stealing a glance as his eyes focused on the road.
“Haha, very funny.” He shook his head hiding a chuckle, “I think you’re going to have to be the one to step up though,” he continued making you laugh,
“Yeah let’s pretend that would happen.” You rolled your eyes, but the smirk on his face never left making you suspect he wasn’t joking, “Antonio, no. I’m not taking a Spanish class.” You crossed your arms against your chest.
“You don’t have to, I'll teach you.” He shrugged, putting the car into park after reaching the district’s parking lot.
“Wouldn’t it just be easier to hire someone who speaks Spanish?” You raised an eyebrow at him.
“Yeah. Probably. This will be more fun though. Come over to my place at 7. I’ll even make you dinner.” He smiled getting out of the car.
“Antonio! I don’t-“ You started to protest before he closed his door cutting you off and heading back into the district without you. Sighing you followed him knowing it was going to be a long night ahead of you.
——————
“This is so a date.” Kim giggled helping you with your makeup.
“It is not!” You retorted for the thousandth time.
“No? Then why are you so concerned about how you look?” She questioned.
“Maybe cause I never get to look nice and for once I’d like to take advantage of it.” You shrugged knowing deep down she could see through you.
“Sure. Okay. We’ll go with that.” She nodded an obvious smirk on her face. “You’ll tell me how he is thought, right?” She continued after a few minutes, making you groan, covering your face with your hands.
—————-
Walking up to Antonio’s door your heart was in your throat. This was nothing new, being at Antonio’s house. He was your partner and you were together regularly even outside the job, but knowing you were going to have to listen to him talk to you in Spanish all night while simultaneously keeping your composure already had your knees weak and your head doubting yourself.
Dinner was good. He had always been a good cook and you enjoyed watching him. You had talked mostly about work which wasn’t a surprise. Eva and Diego coming up frequently too as they were his pride and joy. Which you admired even more. You loved watching him with them even on the bad days the love you could see in his eyes was more than any words he could ever string together and that had you falling even deeper every time.
You were now seated on his couch nursing a glass of wine as he sipped a bottle of beer. Seated just close enough to him that your knee would slightly bump against his every so often.
“You know it’s really not that hard.” He teased.
“It’s your first language! I’d say the same thing about English.” You retorted.
“Do you know anything?” He chuckled, resting his arm against the back of the couch which caused his hand to land against your shoulder. Taking a deep breath you tried your best to ignore it before answering,
“Uh no not really. Just the real basic stuff we have to know. I didn’t even take it in high school. I took French.” You shrugged while taking a drink.
“Yeah? How’d that work out for you?” He asked, amused.
“I don’t remember any of that either anyway.” You chuckled. It started off simple naming things around his house. Following his lead.
An hour later your body was starting to heat up from the wine and listening to Antonio’s hidden accent come out even more prominently had a certain impact as well. So, whenever he started rolling his r’s you could hardly contain yourself wondering what it’d feel like against your own tongue.
“Come on try it again.” He laughed setting another empty beer bottle aside.
“Tonio, I can’t.” You whined setting your almost empty glass on the coffee table next to you.
“One more time. For me?” He smiled brightly at you as you huffed giving in. “Just start slow. Por favor (please).” He repeated and you could swear you heard a whine slip through your own mouth, breath starting to get heavier as you listened to his smooth words flawlessly falling out of his mouth. Taking a deep breath you tried again,
“Por favor.” But it ended as ungraceful and clunky as all the other times, making Antonio laugh loudly. “It’s not funny! I told you I couldn’t do this.” You frowned laying your hand on his knee.
“Alright just watch my lips.” He tapped his mouth, and he didn’t have to tell you twice. As if you hadn’t been already. Nodding you chewed at your bottom lip, inching just a little closer unintentionally. “Por fa-“ he started your lips cutting him off without a second thought. You didn’t remember leaning in, you didn’t remember your mind telling you to do it, but now your lips were tangled with his, hands fisted into his shirt. Antonio didn’t move, didn’t react to your lips on his. Which had you pulling back, your mind catching up to what you were doing.
“Oh, god. I’m so sorry.” You begin to apologize, backing away from him, going to stand up in a rush, panic beginning to set in as you realized what you did. Before he grabbed your wrist pulling you back down to him, but this time closer.
“You sure?” He asked.
“Am I sure about being sorry? Yes, I di-“ But he cut in.
“I don’t believe you.” He smirked one hand landing on your waist, the other on your neck. You gulped not saying anything making him smile and lean into you this time. You gladly welcomed the feeling of his lips on yours again this time relaxing into it. Noticing how he smelled even better this close, how soft his lips were, and how smooth his hair felt as you threaded your fingers through it pulling him impossibly close. He picked you up, sliding you into his lap effortlessly. Pulling back to get a breath before moving to your neck.
“Antonio. Are y-oh,” you moaned feeling him nip behind your ear trying to compose yourself as you continued, hands grasping at sleeves of his shirt, “are you sure about this?” You eventually got out between a few deep breaths and whines. Antonio kissed your shoulder gently before leaning back to look at you, hands resting on your hips.
“Completely. Are you?” He answered.
“If you think you can keep up, old man.” You teased. Laughing he pulled you back to him, tongue immediately sneaking into your mouth, beer taste still existent, but you couldn’t have cared less, hands slipping under his shirt to feel his stomach and you were pleasantly surprised at the hardness. Curious now to see what was underneath up close you tugged at his shirt breaking to pull it over his head when he lifted his arms. Throwing it to the side, hands returning to his abdomen to admire his broad shoulders and perfect chest. “Oh hell yes.” You gaped causing him to chuckle below you.
“What are you thinking?” He asked as you traced your fingers over his scars, leaning down to answer,
“Lots of bad, bad things.” You replied nipping at his ear lobe which earned you a growl from grinding against him at the same time. He moved to pull your tank top off leaning down to leave gentle kisses across the neckline of your bra once it was tossed to the floor. Slowly unclipping it behind you and letting it fall between the two of you. Watching his eyes roam over your body had you immediately self conscious which he sensed.
“Hermosa.” He whispered, hands moving up your body.
“What’s that mean?” You asked.
“Beautiful.” He smiled, taking your breasts into his hands, moving his thumbs over your nipples as you sighed loudly. Closing your eyes tight when his mouth attached to one. Trying to keep from making too many sounds so early on you bit your lip feeling his fingertips digging into your hips encouraging you to move against him again. Gladly you moved your hips teasingly slow against the stiff cock pushing evidently against his jeans earning you a hard bite on your chest that without a doubt would leave a mark. “You want to tease now?” He looked up at you, cockiness in his voice, lips swollen from yours. Lip still trapped between your teeth you nodding looking down at him to see the lust in his eyes grow by the second. “You know I’m not stupid, right?” He chuckled moving to unbutton your jeans, “I could feel your eyes on me all day baby. Even in the two-way glass. I couldn’t see you, but I knew you were watching me.” He leaned up to kiss you reaching his hands under your thighs to pick you up and move you to his bed. Laying you down gently when he reached the edge, “Admit it, [Y/N]. Tell me I’m not wrong.” He pushed one hand holding himself up as the other cupped your face looking down at you.
“You’re not wrong.” You admitted flattening your palms against his chest and slowly moving them down. “I couldn’t keep my eyes off you no matter how hard I tried.” You swallowed hard one hand moving to cup him and push against his jeans making him gasp eyes closing tight for a second as he pushed against your hand.
“I wanted to take you in that car today. So bad. Feeling your eyes all over me. Trying to be inconspicuous. I’ve wanted to do this for so long, [Y/N].” He confessed rubbing a thumb against your cheek staring hard at you.
“Me too.” You agreed smiling up at him.
“That’s all I needed.” He smiled back giving you a quick kiss before leaning up to slide your jeans and panties down your legs, humming in satisfaction when he leaned up to look over you, “you’re even more gorgeous than I imagined every night.” He winked, kneeling down landing on his knees before pulling you closer to the edge of the bed moving your legs so they rested on his shoulders. He kissed from your ankle to the top of your thigh before stopping and moving to the other leg leaving sloppy kisses and bite marks along the way of each. No doubt purposely avoiding where you needed him most. You could feel yourself growing wetter every second at the anticipation, starting to drip onto your thighs absolutely in awe at the sight of a shirtless Antonio in between your legs.
“Antonio...come on, please.” You whined wiggling closer to his face and feeling the huff of his laugh hit your core causing you to buck your hips unintentionally.
“That’s not what I taught you.” He teased leaving tiny kisses closer and closer to your center.
“Baby..” You huffed running your fingers against his hair.
“Just like I taught you, princesa (princess) and I’ll make you feel so good. I promise.” He bargained moving his hands to hold your hips down.
“Antonio...” you cried before seeing he wasn’t gonna give in sighing you tried, “Por favor.” coming out better than before but still not perfect.
“Good girl. I don’t think you’ve ever been sexier.” He winked before moving his mouth to connect with your core, a moan immediately escaping you as your head fell back. If you thought he was good with his tongue before you had absolutely no idea. It took mere minutes for you to be a moaning mess shoving his face deeper into you and thank god he had your hips pinned down or the man wouldn’t have been able to breathe.
“Yes baby that feels fucking incredible.” You croaked. Your head was swimming as his tongue covered every inch of your pussy in the most amazing way possible. Summoning all of your strength to push him away seconds before you came. You watched as he backed away using his shoulder to wipe his mouth off leaving it glistening as he came back to his feet. Leaning down again to kiss you,
“Sorry I was too close.” You apologized once you broke apart.
“That was the goal.” He joked kissing your cheek and standing back up to undo his belt stepping out of his jeans and boxers and kicking them to the side. Whistling you moved up the bed some pulling him back down on top of you catching him by surprise.
“Ugh. Careful love.” He laughed adjusting himself.
“What? Am I gonna hurt you or something?” You teased moving your hand down to wrap around his shaft. Pleasantly surprised to find how thick it was in your hand.
“Yeah you wish.” He groaned when you started moving your hand. “Fuck.” He cursed.
“What?” You asked.
“I don’t have condoms.” He sighed, closing his eyes as you started to speed up your hand.
“What? You didn’t plan for this?” You joked.
“Maybe in my dreams.” He smirked thrusting into your palm.
“I’m on birth control. So as long as you're clean...” You trailed off letting go of him to lick the precum that had leaked out onto your hand.
“Of course I am.” He looked down at you in disbelief.
“Hey, shit happens.” You shrugged.
“You think the hottest detective in the city wouldn’t be a little careful about who they jump into bed with?” He joked.
“Well you know Halstead isn’t always the brightest.” You shot back.
“Very funny.” He rolled his eyes. You shrugged, grabbing ahold of him again and guiding him to your entrance wrapping your legs around his waist to pull him in closer., shivering at the feel of his cock rubbing against your clit for the first time. Using the tip of his cock to your advantage you moved it through the lips of your pussy adoring the way his dick slid perfectly between them, mouth parted soft sighs escaping every time the head brushed against your clit. Enjoying every second before you had enough of your own teasing moving your hips up to let him slide in, “Tell me one more time.” He looked down at you nervously.
“I want you, Antonio.” You reassured him. Sighing in relief his palms landed on each side of your face before he started to push himself in. Breathing through the slight sting your nails dug into his back pulling him closer. Enjoying the pain more than you ever had in your life. Each inch clenching him even deeper. He wanted nothing more than to thrust into you as hard as he could but he talked himself through his impulses stopping every few seconds for you to adjust until he finally bottomed out. Breaths heaving in your ear. He started slow obviously trying to keep his control, only pulling out slightly before pushing in. Just worried about loosening you up first or he was going to lose it before it even started, but as you started to feel the pleasure taking over it started to get agonizing, never having felt so full in your life, just wanting to feel him pound into you already. You had never been so happy to be on birth control giving you the ability to feel every throb, every twitch, every inch of his dick inside of you and that thought had you moaning out loud.
“Oh my god, baby.” He groaned against your neck at the sound and feeling of you.
“Come on handsome. I’m ready. Give it to me.” You encouraged holding his face in your hands. He moaned louder at your words, closing his eyes to avoid looking at you as he started to move faster and with each thrust the more you both lost yourselves in each other. In no time Antonio rested one of your legs on his shoulder giving him even deeper access than you ever thought possible, filling you to the absolute brim. His groans and sounds from his thighs hitting yours filled the room with each thrust making it even hotter. Shuddering his hips forward caused you to scream, hitting your sweet spot dead on. With his free hand he captured your wrists holding them tight above your head. You couldn’t believe the pleasure that was coursing through you was even possible before he leaned down capturing a nipple in his mouth and you swore you blacked out for a second screaming Antonio’s name. “Nobody has ever fucked me like this baby. You’re mouth, your tongue, your cock my god. You love making me scream from it all don’t you?” You got out between a series of moans. Antonio couldn’t answer you fully only able to get out a loud,
“Fuck, [Y/N].” You could tell he was close. From his sloppy thrusts and his moans to his cock starting to throb in you. You were close too right on the edge ready to fall any second. Moving your eyes up from where you two were connected up his body that was glistening from sweat rolling down from his chest, to his face where his mouth hung open groans and curse words flowing from it without shame and when you met his own eyes completely full of lust staring down at you that was the end. Stars clouding your vision as your eyes closed tightly, mouth falling open in a silent scream, hips bucking up, and thighs tightening around different spots of Antonio. You came back just in time to feel Antonio’s cock twitch, his body stiffening, nails digging into your wrists, and head falling into your shoulder muffling a moan that would’ve been sure to wake up the whole neighborhood as he spilled himself into you completely. Eventually the room was silent besides your heavy breaths. Antonio eventually pulling out slowly and rolling off you. No words were spoken or movements made for a few minutes until you decided to break the silence.
“Every night huh?” You smirked turning on your side towards him making him chuckle.
“Maybe not every night.” He smiled pulling you to his chest.
“But close to?” You continued.
“Damn near.” He kissed the top of your head.
“I might have to send you some material then.” You looked up at him wiggling your eyebrows.
“Cannot say I’d be opposed to that.” He kissed you gently before standing up and walking into his bathroom carrying a cloth and water with him when he returned handing you the glass and nudging your legs apart to clean you.
“Well aren’t you a gentleman.” You took a drink before setting it on the night stand.
“I made the mess might as well clean it up I guess.” He shrugged kissing the inside of your knee as he did, before laying back down beside you gladly letting you cuddle back into him.
“You know that was like really incredible right?” You laughed looking up at him.
“Yeah? Not so bad for an old man huh?” He smirked.
“Yeah...young enough for round 2 yet?” You joked kissing at his chest squeezing his biceps.
“Only one way to find out I guess.” He lifted you back into his lap pulling you towards his lips. Later that night you would be sure to send Kim plenty of thumbs-up emojis (and maybe a few eggplants.)
#antonio dawson x reader#antoniodawsonxreader#antonio dawson smut#antonio dawson imagine#antonio dawson#chicago pd imagine#chicago pd#chicago pd x reader#chicago pd smut
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