#The doctors study them and judge yes

[cottoncandysex]

Hours, he said he put across the line he’s absolutely right now he can’t hardly enough so the reverse is it true so I guess we’re gonna have to find another fucking doctor I need to find that talk to you guys are okay and I’m finding another little picture after something for Next and North Key photographs

what a disgusting marking of my words that is not what I said

okay, I need to get off of my high horse and ask Hannah a question the other one not the American one okay so anyway we were talking about you guys trying to steal nice things for trashy girls in America

So you’re telling me that Erika from North Key wants to be the new Kiwi or the new Aussie girl? But I thought the trashy autistics did that yesterday

#medical networking to save lives #Northkey #Trashy USA women #Domestic violence #Ugh #rebecca cooper #technology abuse #human trafficking #child trafficking #india #New Zealand #Australia #Jealousy #the key is kill them #Hey wait why can’t Erika cross #White woman hookers speaking others truths #The doctors study them and judge yes

[lyrenminth]

The most familiar place

You looked at Joe, watching mystery cases on the big T.V, a hobbie that stuck with him thanks to you. His big eyes focused, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. When he was distracted, he looked younger, almost childish. It made your heart flutter.

“No fucking way” he said when the judge on T.V said that the husband would be released because it wasn't enough evidence to found him guilty “He killed his wife. There is footage of it”

“I know.”

“I would send his ass to jail”

“I know you would”

“I bet I would be a better judge”

“You would.”

“Why didn't I study law? ” he said looking at you. You two started laughing at his mini rant. He was always like this. "I would be a better doctor, a better fighter, a better this and that" and he always sounded so confident about it.

“If someone put a hand on you I would fight them personally ” he stated.

“Oh, Joe come on.”

“What? Don't you think I'm capable of throwing a good punch?” he threw a punch in the air as a demonstration. You giggled at his goofy action.

“Yes, you are capable” he looked happy with your answer and returned to watch the show. But you knew that Joe was not hot-headed, he was the most controlled and driven man you knew. For him, getting into a fight meant he endured enough bullshit. “Gladly for you nobody pays attention to me.”

“I always pay attention to you, bae” he said mildly offended.

“Not you, silly. The other people.”

“As they should, you're mine” he put an arm around you, bringing you closer. You felt his solid body next to you, and you couldn't focus anymore. That was the effect he had over you, he melted your brain cells.

You keep watching the series cuddling each other, very similar to your days in college. Joe once told you that you were his anchor during his beginning in the NFL. When he drowned, he came back to you, to his house, the most familiar place he knew. It felt safe for him.

And you always wanted to tell him that it was the same way to you.

#joe burrow #nfl #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow fan fic #fanfiction

[mischiefmanaged71]

The Great War (1/10)

Summary: After landing in a place he has no idea about, Tom comes across someone who can finally help him get back to Manchester

Pairing: Tom Bennett x fem! reader

A tired hand ran down her face as she walked down the hall of the infirmary, performing her checks on the new influx of patients. The hospital received a load of men from the shore - soldiers from a shipwreck at Dunkirk. She expected the same sight of doctors and nurses tending to bloody wounds, and unconscious patients. To her surprise, she heard a series of loud voices shouting over each other as she followed the cacophony of a struggle down the aisle of beds. 

Her sight was blocked by a few men crowding a bed, the patient seemingly unwilling as he shouted as they tried to get him to lay back.

"Get your grubby hands off me!"

"We're trying to help you!" Dr O’Conner shouted.

He had bandages wrapped around his shoulder, and blood was still stained on his skin. 

“How are a bunch of cowards going to keep me safe?” he said, leaning into the man's face intimidatingly.

“What’s going on here?” she spoke up, waving a hand to grab their attention. The situation diffused as the men stepped back from the bed. She felt the man’s eyes on her as she glanced at him, waiting for an answer.

“He’s refusing treatment.”

She paused, nodding in understanding. The woman clasped her, “Alright. I'll see to it. Move onto the next patient.”

The doctor nodded in response, the flock of men around him leaving with him. She held her head high as the men tipped their heads at her as they left the room. Her gaze finally fell on the man in the bed as she felt him studying her. 

“What’s your problem with them? They’re just trying to help you.” She stood in front of the bedpost.

“Oh yeah, like all the help we received before, right?”

“We can’t judge people for the actions of a whole group. As I’m sure you’re not actually angry at them.”

Y/N could see as he visibly relaxed, grimacing as he tried to sit up. She moved forward, offering an arm as she helped him sit against the bedframe. Her hands felt the tension in his muscles as he strained, exhaling as the pressure came off his injury. 

“That’s a little close, love. We’ve only just met.”

She sighed at that, holding back a chuckle as she moved back to stand at the bedside. “Why are you refusing their help?”

“No one’s coming here to help us. I don’t have time to sit around and wait for the Germans to pick us off.”

“I understand that, but you just barely survived on that beach. You need to accept medical attention.”

“I need to get back to English soil.” he rebutted.

He was a stubborn one, if anything. She furrowed her brows, a sigh building in her throat. Her hands felt into her pockets as she tilted her head. “You’re not going to be able to go anywhere when you can’t walk.”

“Oh, this.” he pointed at his wrapped shoulder, “This is nothing. I’ll just be on my merry way if you’ll point me in the right direction.”

He leaned up to get off the bed, evidently straining against the pain stretching at his limb. Her hand found his arm as she leaned down, urging him to sit back. “You should trust me.”

“I don’t know you.”

She nodded, “Yes, but you don’t have many options, especially out there. You're a clear target on your own. And you’re likely suffering from head trauma.”

“My head is fine.” he caught her gaze defiantly.

She narrowed her eyes, assessing his pupils “Yes, you’re dilated pupils tell me that perfectly.”

“You staring into my eyes, love?” A smirk sliding onto his features. 

At least he was in better spirits than before. He did have beautiful blue eyes, she noted.

“I’m a nurse. That’s my observation.”

He sighed, visibly tired from his efforts, “Then when can I leave?”

She folded her arms across her chest, “When I can see that you’re not about to collapse or fall to infection.”

“At your mercy. That’s how it is.” he nodded. 

“You don’t know the terrain here. You’d get lost.”

“I’d figure it out. My determination to get home would outweigh it.”

“Of course.” she smiled, a smugness behind her look as she assessed the work of the previous doctor, grazing her hand over the bandage. “And how would you get past the German soldiers at the checkpoints? The patrols? They're around every corner checking identification, which I suppose you have, of course."

His smirk fell from his face, his jaw clenching.

"And you don't speak French." she caught his gaze. “If you want to get back, you’ll need to learn to trust.”

“How am I gonna get out of here?”

A bout of silence passed between them, and Y/N sat down on the edge of the bed. She caught a glimpse of the desperation on his face, having seen it in every soldier that came through these parts. The once hopeful and determined faces, strained by war injuries and fear. They were all simply human, desperate to just go home and leave this bloodshed behind.

“I have a dad and sister back home.”

She relented, finally sensing he had calmed down, “Where are you from?”

“Manchester.”

Her eyebrows furrowed, confirming his accent was from the region. She had spent time abroad in England during her years of study. 

“I’ve been there before. A long time ago. It was...different.”

His eyebrows raised at the that, a breathy laugh leaving his lips “Don’t sound so excited.”

“No, it was nice. It is certainly different from what I’m used to. That is what was comforting about it. I did enjoy the seaside.”

A smile crossed his lips as he side, his face relaxed “Not much else to do.”

“And what do you do? Back home?”

“Oh,” he wore this smirk that read of mischief that caused a stir in her chest at his handsome features. “I just get into trouble. You see, I’m what they call...a nuisance.”

She tilted her head at that, seeing where they could be coming from as she shook her head. He was certainly trouble from the way he smirked and flirted with her unapologetically. 

“Does trouble have a name?”

“Tom. Bennett.”

“Tom.” she hummed, standing from her seat. 

A hand grasped her’s, bringing her attention back. A warmth spread over her face at the contact, bringing her eyes back to his.

“You’re not gonna tell me yours? Doesn’t seem like a fair trade, love.” his eyes alight.

She chuckled quietly, leaning down “It’s Y/N.” 

He waited expectantly, “Y/L/N.” she finished, flushing as he caressed her hand. Ever the charmer. She supposed he was always like this.

“Get some rest, I’ll come back tomorrow morning.”

“You’re not keep me company?”

“I have other patients to see to.” she smiled at his enticed expression, seeking out her attention. “Please, just listen to the doctors and try not to cause trouble.”

“You’re asking a lot!” he remarked, leaning back against his bed as she wandered to the exit.

“Tomorrow.” she promised.

#tom bennett #tom bennett x reader #world on fire #ewan mitchell

[scotianostra]

Happy Birthday Scottish actress Georgie Glen.

Georgie was born in Helensburgh on April 20th 1956 and as a child had little interest in appearing in school plays. She studied graphic design at Glasgow School of Art and moved to London in her mid-twenties to design book covers for the Thames and Hudson publishing house.

Looking for other interests she joined Floodlight Council, an organization set up to bring out adult’s artistic skills and then became part of the Questors Theatre Company in Ealing, West London. Here she met the late Alan Rickman - who, like Georgie, had a background in design before treading the boards - and he encouraged her to follow her acting ambitions. As a result she enrolled at the Bristol Old Vic drama school and on graduating had her first job at the Wolsey Theatre in Ipswich.

Even then she felt, somewhat modestly, that she did not have the looks for a leading lady but ever since her television debut in 1988 she has been a reliable supporting player in virtually every type of show from sketch comedy to period drama, notably in a recurring role as doughty Sergeant Jennifer Nokes in Heartbeat and the liberal, kindly teacher head of History, Audrey in'Waterloo Road - filmed in her native Scotland.

Indeed she may be said to be one of the first ladies of character acting and though her film roles have again always been in support of bigger names she has proved herself to be a scene- stealer par excellence, as one of the more enthusiastic in Calendar girls alongside Helen Mirren and Julie Walters.

As I said earlier she has been in every type of show, to name a few we have comedy roles in Harry Enfield and Friends, Alas Smith & Jones and Little Britain, drama series and films are two many to mention them all but there are dozens, the pick of them include Taggart, of course, Peak Practice, Doctor Findlay, Mrs Brown, Shakespeare in Love, Silent Witness, and I think a lot of you will maybe “say” oh yes, when I tell you that she was the Judge in The Victim in 2019, an excellent four part series set in Scotland also starring John Hannah and Kelly McDonald, and she was Denise in the brilliant Channel four show Damned!

#scotland #scottish #history #happy birthday #actress #theatre #television #cinema

[mariaofdoranelle]

Look at Us Now — Ch. 8

Fic masterlist

I’m sorry, Maria can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Because until Sunday you’ll be talking to Beach Maria! And Beach Maria absolutely hates angst.

Warnings: language, very light nsfw

Words: 2k (yes I know there’s no consistency here but I’m having fun and we never judge when the writer is having fun)

Aelin was so used to the sterile smell of antiseptics, soaps and cleaners from the hospital, but it was making her nervous today.

A rush went through her spine when Dr. Hafiza spread an ice-cold gel on her barely-there bump, and she absentmindedly squeezed Rowan’s hand. If Aelin didn’t know better, she’d think her heartbeat was so strong it’d be impossible to hear the baby’s. He squeezed her hand back, tearing his eyes away from her stomach to past on a reassuring smile for her.

Rowan seemed calm and put together for their appointment with Dr. Hafiza, the only telltale signs of his nerves being the million questions and fact-checking he asked the doctor, and the way he’d been fiddling with Aelin’s hand from the moment she reached out to hold his.

“There it is,” the doctor said, and her head snapped to the TV in front of her.

Aelin was smiling so much her cheeks hurt. Her little bean didn’t look like a bean at all. It took her breath away, how this tiny person, with little limbs and everything, was taking room inside of her.

“Are you ready for the heartbeat?” Dr. Hafiza asked.

A second after they eagerly nodded, that tiny human’s heartbeat boomed through the room, making Aelin’s heart race as well.

Hafiza chuckled. “That’s a strong one.”

Rowan’s eyes snapped to hers. “That’s good, right?”

She gave him a fond smile. “She’s just very active, but things are looking good so far.”

It was beautiful, the way his face morphed from a dumbfounded gape to the biggest grin she’s ever seen from him yet. It lit his whole face up, crinkling the corners of mouth and eyes. Rowan caressed her head, eyes deep into hers, and her whole body tingled. Scalp, spine, stomach, everywhere.

“Do you want me to tell you the gender?” The doctor asked.

“Yes,” Aelin blurted before Rowan could open his mouth.

His eyes widened, a surprised smile on his face at her eagerness, and he nodded to the doctor.

“Great. It’s still a little early, but I can already see that…” She took a second to double-check. “It’s a girl.”

Aelin froze, her whole world narrowing down to those words.

She was having a little girl.

Aelin looked at Rowan, but his face was blurred due to her unshed tears. Aelin blinked, releasing them.

“Are you alright?”

“I’ll give you guys a moment,” Hafiza said before exiting the room.

Rowan was studying her expression, trying and failing to clamp down his smile for her sake.

“It’s perfect.” Aelin swiped some tears off her face. “I’m just really, really happy.”

His grin broke free once again, while he placed a strand of Aelin’s hair behind her ear. ”I thought you didn’t care about the gender.”

“I don’t. I’m just very filled with hormones. And proud that my girl is a womb athlete or something.”

Rowan snorted at her joke. It was true, the baby couldn’t sit still inside of her the whole time.

His pine green eyes had this loving, bright glow to them. Aelin couldn’t look away. By the looks of it, he couldn’t either.

It was like a game, the way their gaze would slip between each other’s eyes and lips. Aelin’s pulse got stronger each second she was the receiver of Rowan’s heated looks, but she shouldn’t.

It was their agreement, right? No fling, focus on the baby.

But Rowan agreed to it too, and here he was, leaning in and giving her the look that made her press her legs together.

With an erratic breathing and holding herself upright in that small cot with one hand, Aelin used the other to cup his jaw.

As if it was reflex, Rowan immediately pulled her closer and closed the distance between them.

Aelin melted under his touch, her whole body relaxing as he tasted her lips. His shaky hands moved from her torso to her neck, thumb stroking the place behind her ear and sending shivers down her spine. She grabbed him by the hair and tilted his head, deepening the kiss. Rowan’s tongue rolling over hers started a riot in the pit of her stomach, and not even his heavenly taste was enough to calm that feeling down.

He broke the kiss, smiling a breath away from her lips and stroking her hair as if it gave him life.

At that moment, in the little room with artificial ambience they were in, it felt like pure sunshine.

˜˜

“Why are you dressed like you’re going to the gym?” Rowan was at her living room’s door, head tilted as his gaze roamed through her, but Aelin wouldn’t do so much as blush or back down. She could live through his scrutinizing, judgy gaze.

Aelin held a finger up. “Not gym wear, sporty casual. It’s perfect soccer mom attire.”

Rowan chuckled, somehow finding this funny. ”You’re really serious about the soccer mom thing, aren’t you?”

Aelin glared at him.

“I saw the tiktoks you sent me. They’re like a grown-up version of a bad teen movie.”

She crossed her arms, squinting at him. ”And I’ll kill you if they’re true.”

“We’ll make you the queen of soccer moms.”

“Stop it.”

He leaned against the doorframe, smirking. “I mean it. We’ll spot the queen of the soccer moms and destroy her. Whatever snacks she brings, we’ll bring better. However blond she is, we’re blonder. We’ll rattle the stars.”

Aelin turned towards the hall so he wouldn’t see how hard she was fighting that smile. “Come on, Maisie! Your dad is here!”

After greeting his daughter, Rowan had one hand help up, waiting to high-five his little girl. “You’re going to kick everyone’s butts today, Mai.”

His daughter frowned. “No, I’m kicking the ball.”

Aelin didn’t fight her laughter this time.

˜˜

Today, Aelin thought her biggest challenge was going to be soccer momhood. She was wrong. Her biggest challenge was sitting still through this game.

Preschool soccer was absolute mayhem.

“TURN AROUND, MAIS.” Aelin frantically pointed at the ball. “GO!”

“Aelin.” Rowan’s tone was low and commanding. “Stop screaming.”

Maisie stopped running to look at her parents and sent a *thumbs up*.

“RUN!“ Aelin wouldn’t stop pointing at the ball. ”OVER THERE!”

“Aelin, the authority figure here is the coach. Stop barking orders.”

Sighing, she slumped back on the chair she brought. Aelin wanted to be a mom and let her daughter enjoy the game so badly, but the other, darker side of her was telling her to bark orders from the sidelines until her daughter crushed all of her ~~enemies~~ opponent playmates.

She could do this. This was about having fun, not winning.

Rowan wasn’t being as vocal, but he seemed to feel the same. His hand was covering his mouth as he paced around the sidelines, eyes watching Maisie and the ball like a hawk.

A plane flew by, and the little girl stopped running to watch it. Aelin groaned. Rowan pinched the bridge of his nose.

The coach was picking the kids up and rearranging them as if he was herding cats, and in one of those times he placed Maisie close to the ball and the goal.

Aelin got up. Her heart was nearly jumping out of her chest as she rubbed her hands against her thighs.

Rowan put a hand on her shoulder, but neither of them tore their eyes off Maisie kicking that ball. “Don’t scream. She’ll get distracted and look at us.”

Maisie got past two kids, not very well determined, but she was doing it. The opponents weren’t tough and the distance to the goal was really short, but Aelin’s heart was bursting with pride.

When Maisie finally scored that goal, their shouts were earth-shattering. It was like their daughter had won the World Cup herself.

Seeing their agitation, she went running her parent’s way. Faster than she was running to kick the ball, but Aelin was too happy to be upset about that.

“MOM! DAD! I FARTED WHEN I KICKED IT! IT WAS A FART KICK!”

Rowan’s eyes widened. He was never not surprised at his daughter’s bluntness. “Kids are so gross.”

Cackling, Aelin picked her little girl up, kissed her and passed her to Rowan so he could congratulate her too.

“Can I have a snack?”

“Maisie…” Rowan blinked, surprised. “The game isn’t over yet.”

Their daughter frowned.

Aelin crouched down. “If you focus on the game until it ends, your dad and I will take you to the ice cream shop after. How about that?”

Maisie eagerly nodded and ran back. Aelin thanked Mala Rowan didn’t complain about their sugary plans.

The kid probably felt like her duty was fulfilled after that goal, though, because now she was just running around a tree with an auburn-haired boy from the opposite team.

Rowan was trying to tell her to get back to the game, but Maisie just waved back. Her new friend was also good at ignoring his mom’s orders from the sidelines.

The woman Aelin assumed was Maisie’s new friend’s mom brought her chair next to Aelin’s. “Is that your kid over there?”

“That’s Maisie.” She snorted at her unruly daughter. “I’m Aelin.” She pointed at Rowan, who was still fretting over the game. “That’s Rowan, the dad.”

“Lysandra.” The woman shook Aelin’s hand and pointed at her son. “And Timmy. Timothy.”

“That’s a cute name.”

Lysandra grinned at her. “And you have a cute daughter.”

Both women just sat there, silently accepting everyone did their best, and now that the game was near its end, the kids just wanted to chase grasshoppers instead of the ball.

The sky was clear, Aelin loved how the sun felt against her skin, and she could hear her little girl’s squeals of delight while she played, even after the coach declared the game has ended.

She knew something was up when Rowan kept glancing her way, though.

Sighing, Aelin got up and went his way. “Spill.”

He focused his gaze on the field before them and acted like he hadn’t been sneaking looks at Aelin. “What do you mean?”

She rolled her eyes. “I can hear the engines inside your head working.”

He sent her an apologetic look. “Can we talk?”

“No.” Aelin’s voice was gentle, but firm.

It had been a good day. Great, even. Maisie was ecstatic. She knew from Rowan’s tone it was something they’d potentially argue about, and Aelin didn’t want to ruin today with one of their talks.

“Really?” His voice was surprised, probably because she never backed down from a fight with him.

Aelin’s gaze was on her daughter, lying on the grass and laughing with Timmy. “I already know we’ll have a fight about it, and I don’t want to discuss fightable topics in front of Maisie. This is a new boundary I’m setting.”

She couldn’t stop thinking about what he said in therapy, about reaching out all the time because he was thinking non-stop and fretting about things until he did. Part of her wanted to sit with him and hear what was going on inside his mind, but Aelin chose to listen to the part of her that told to stop engaging in a fight when Maisie was nearby. Even if it meant letting him slowly lose his mind due to uncertainty.

”Alright.” Rowan nodded, also looking away. “Can I just tell you what it is, and then we’ll talk later?”

She drew out a long breath. “Fine.”

Rowan gave her a tentative smile. “My parents are visiting for Maisie’s birthday week.”

She was always glad to give him extra days with Maisie so their baby could have fun with her grandparents, but Aelin and her family also had their own plans when it was Mais’ birthday week. This fight over her birthday schedule happened every year, and as much as Aelin trusted her therapist methods, she didn’t want to risk it. Now, she just wanted to enjoy the rest of the day at the ice cream shop with her family.

Aelin nodded. “Tell me tomorrow.”

A/N: You can get notifications when I update by either following me on @backtobl4ck-fics or entering my (sometimes glitchy) tag list!!

TAG LIST

I couldn’t tag the people in bold, sorry!

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#rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #throne of glass #rowaelin fanfiction #rowan x aelin #aelin galathynius #aelin x rowan #rowaelin fanfic #look at us now #throne of glass fanfic #throne of glass fic

[la-merlaison]

Louis XIII and his cooking adventures 🍴🥞

When it comes to our Louis XIII cult, I often refer to the king's iconic omelettes, but what about his other stuff? For example, he really loved sweets (like beignets or jams), but could he also cook them? The answer is YES, and that's not even all yet!

Louis was a curious child who's head was already filled with various interests and cooking became one of them when he was only ten years old at the time (which is quite unusual for a king). First ever case of the king cooking was recorded on february 11th of 1611, when he was preparing milk soups for the Duchess of Guise / Catherine of Cleves. So milk soup, most likely, could be Louis' very first dish made by himself!

Of course many kids have a sweet tooth and our precious omelette king was not an exception which I guess is why he started to learn how to cook mostly from recipes of sweets. Also, take a shot every time I say "sweets" or "cooking" (don't..) 🕊️

So, among 17th century royal sw- *ahem* DESSERTS we had in our menu – a jam, quince jelly, beignets (basically french donuts) and marzipans. In a well-known, among many of y'all Louis stalkers, journal of his doctor Jean Héroard I found some clear evidence of Louis XIII cooking some of these himself, so here it is feat. me periodically panicking over my own translation because my half-french friend is too busy atm and I don’t wanna bother them:

June 6th, 1611 — «He walks through the corridor from the study to the paneled gallery where he had an oven for making jams, he is amused to see how it's done.» I know it's not exactly him cooking, but I just wanted to leave it here :")

October 15th, 1612 — «Madame comes to see him; he has fun making jam with Mademoiselle de Vendôme»

January 29th, 1613 — «He often has fun making almond milk and marzipans at Madame's house.»

March 6th, 1615 — «It was very cold; he goes to the kitchen, makes omelettes, beignets, fried eggs; it was he who made them and ate a little of that he tasted.» Pretty sure the last few words could be translated better because it's always rather my terrible french or a little confusing way of Héroard's writing, so feel free to correct me.

February 3rd, 1616 — «He is preparing a small snack of dry jam for the queen, who must come to him at two o'clock. After going back to bed, he happily forms various battalions of his little silver men.»

February 5th, 1622 — «He leaves Saint-Germain, goes to Pontoise, where he enjoys making and eating beignets; while dining at Cormeille, he suddenly goes to the goblet in which he makes little cream puffs.» The original text says «petits choux au lait» and I have no idea what could that exactly be, but it seems like some sort of little éclair-like buns made of milk? Little cream puffs?? Maybe by «choux au lait» Jean meant «choux à la crème» which were invented back in 1540 in France.

I know you've been waiting for the quince jelly too, but unfortunately I couldn't find anything about the jelly :c Though, judging by what we've got here It's still quite possible Louis could cook quince jelly as well, hmm... Anyways, if you know something I don't know of the jelly mystery, hit me up!

In the future, this great love for desserts will be inherited by his son Philippe I, Duke of Orléans (brother of Louis XIV), who is also a very interesting character in history!!

In conclusion I must say that Louis not only had a sweet tooth, but also a big love for trying out different things, all this curiosity and pure excitement, even when it comes to something so simple and familiar like food, will never ever stop to fascinate me :"D

Btw speaking about Louis 'trying out different things', I of course still have a lot to share on this as well! Stay tuned and have a good day/night 💘💘💘

#I can't believe I wasted more time on the picture than the post itself #But at least now I can go make more Louis content :“”D #In my next post I will most likely cover something that is not food because he had A LOT of other talents obviously hahahaah #Honestly I could talk about him 24/7.... I just can't always be online to flood you with all this :“( #17th century #louis xiii #history of food #louis xiii le juste #king louis xiii

[selfhelpforstudents]

Tips to fight depression

Disclaimer: These are small things that have helped me in the past when I was going through a lot. Thankfully, I am fully healed and love my life. But I know how incredibly hard this battle is - and I also know that it can get better! <3 If you are struggling with mental illnesses please contact a doctor. If you want to talk to someone else about your feelings, please join our self help group on Discord. We’ll be happy to welcome you.

The 5-4-3-2-1-method when awfully anxious. What are five things you can see right now? Are there four things you can touch? How do they feel? Name three things you can hear. Two things you can smell. And now...one positive thought in your mind.

Cry me a river. Let it all out. Cry for as long as you need. Think about the things that make you sad. Make them heard inside your head. And cry. This will release muscle tension and make you feel more relaxed...maybe even numb.

Escape this world and find yourself again in a fictional one. Read a book or watch a show or a movie. Make yourself feel as though you’re the main character. This will create distance between you and your hectic life and problems.

Move. Right now. Get up and move. Move your body. Go for a walk. Maybe even a run. Just get some movement into the moment. Please. Put on some music and dance as if no one is watching.

Do something good for someone else. This is what I’m doing by writing this. Helping people can help YOU. If you want to do this right now, maybe join our group chats and tell your story so more people will know that they are not alone. What I LOVE to do is buying homeless people food and clothes (socks are super important).

Go take a shower and brush your teeth. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. We’ve probably all been there. Not showering for a long time happens. Not brushing your teeth happens. We survive. And that takes up all of our energy. But right now I want you to take that shower and take care of your body. Please.

Accept that you are ill. Have compassion with yourself. I’ve always felt guilty and despised myself for being depressed and anxious. People tell you “Why can’t you be like everyone else? Why can’t you do this and that?”. I just wanted to be like everyone else. Happy. At least that’s what they all seem to be, right? I hated myself for not being able to feel anything anymore, for being messy, for not showering, not being “a normal person”. People judge and look down on you. Yes, I haven’t washed my hair in two weeks. What about it?!  But all that is not my fault. I am ill. I can’t live the lives healthy people live. But hey, that’s okay. God didn’t give me mental stability but he did give me intelligence, a wonderful heart and the most amazing boyfriend.

Last but not least: Let’s get to the peak. Do it yourself. Well yes, you can imagine what I mean. It really helps, researches have found. Having umm...you know...the best part in the end...will make you feel better. And everyone does it.

You are not alone in this. There are so many people who suffer. So many people who even take their own lives. But please stay with us. Please go and see a doctor. Talk to someone. Talk to me. You are not alone.

Love, Sophia

Feel free to follow my Instagram account for some study motivation <3 Instagram

#studyblr #studygram #motivation to study #study tips #study notes #studying #100 days of productivity #studyinspo #study blog #exams #mental problems #mentally exhausted #mental help #mentalwellness #mental heath support #mental wellbeing #mentalheathawareness

[hyperlexichypatia]

hey! ive been observing this account for a while as a person who is relatively new to anti-pysch, madpunk, and youth rights related stuff. and i wanted to ask something related to bodily autonomy. would someone refusing or downright saying they hate showering count as ones right to their own bodily autonomy? i see hygiene commonly weaponized against those who are neurodivergent or have mental illnesses and physical disabilities, that and i think hygiene has moved so far from protecting ourselves from certain viruses and diseases to "if you dont follow this specific skincare routine, buy these specific products, and take a shower in a very specific way (or use an alternative method/way that doesnt involve a shower in the first place) you're gross and should be shunned from society". i feel like our quickness to judge others who dont follow these things are may appear like they dont is connected to somethings related to consumerism and classism but i wouldnt know how to explain it as im still new to all this.

Needing help with hygiene is also really stigmatized, and people are denied access to it. Lots of people who don't have clean bodies and clothes are denied access to those things -- maybe they're unhoused and don't have a working bathroom, maybe they're disabled and can't get into the shower without assistance, which they don't have -- and of course anything associated with poor and disabled people is intensely stigmatized. So yeah, stigma on not having the right hygiene is absolutely classist and ableist. Even the word "hygiene" is often used to mean eugenics. We equate "clean" with "abled" and "dirty" with "disabled." There are even studies (I'm not sure how reliable they are because I haven't done sufficient research on them) suggesting that people adopt more conservative/judgmental attitudes when there's a bottle of hand sanitizer in view.

I think what really reveals the bad faith of the whole thing is that this kind of stigma is purely about social class and not actually about cleanliness from germs. The clearest example might be how in the 1840s, Dr. Ignaz Semmelweis proposed the completely radical idea that maybe doctors should wash their hands before treating patients, and being widely denounced for suggesting that doctors could be the problem or could be dirty. The second clearest example might be the American political response to the COVID-19 pandemic -- people who had spent decades opposing the rights of poor people, unhoused people, immigrants, disabled people, people of color, queer people, etc. on the basis off "They're dirty/ they smell bad/ they're gross" suddenly pivoted to "How dare you ask me to avoid touching you or your food, wear a mask, or wash my hands, this is personally insulting to me."

Hygiene requirements are certainly necessary in certain contexts -- yes, you should have to wash your hands and wear a hairnet when preparing food, you should have to wash your hands and wear a mask before performing surgery -- but these should be things the employer provides and makes accessible.

#ableism #classism #hygiene

[luxurybrownbarbie]

Hey Barbie,

I’ve been official with my boyfriend for nearly a year and we dated for a year before that. I spent last year studying in the US and he asked me out when I came home for Christmas. I said yes because I thought why not and he flew over to visit me in March too.

He comes from a very well-off family and has a year and a half left until he qualifies as a doctor. I’ve always worked my ass off to make money, but haven’t been able to get a job alongside my studies yet. I also come from a background where I can’t just ask for financial help or support.

My issue is just that before we were on the same page about so many things like tidiness, dates, career goals, and I’ve always been vocal about what I expect from a partner. But now that I’m back and we’re spending a lot of time together, he has just not been meeting my needs. Like before he would offer to get an Uber or buy me food and now he’ll look at me when we go shopping because he doesn’t want to pay the bill. I literally have to drag him to do it, and it’s giving me the biggest ick.

I don’t think these are big things either because I’ll take him on trips and pay for it (not food I refuse), but these small things mean everything to me because I rarely ask for big things. He is super sweet, has a photographic memory, and I know that he loves me but I feel so caged in. We also went on a break for a week last month, and I felt great for the time alone, but he literally barely left his apartment.

I decided to give it another try because he said he would work on the boundaries issues that led to the break. I’m just at this point where I’m 22, in my final year, and I just don’t know what to do. Do you have any advice?

Sorry for the super long ask, and thanks for reading lovely! ❤️

You are in bondage sister, omg! You are only 22 years old, you need to leave him!

You’re not imagining things, you’re not wrong. You’re feeling caged in because you are.

How is he super sweet? Nothing you’ve said gives me that inclination whatsoever.

He is actively making your life more difficult. If you are struggling for money, why are you spending it on trips for him? It’s about equity. You should not have to judge or force him to take care of bills on nights out or get you an Uber.

He’s not going to change.

He’s got a vibrant, smart, beautiful 22 year old he gets to suck the life and youth out of! Why would he ever change? You complain, but he knows he will eventually be able to get you to just accept his shortcomings as long as he promises to “work on them”.

He stopped trying after you were fully committed to him. (Not your fault, tale as old as time.) He’s moved into outright apathy. Ubers and food are literally the barest of bare minimums, this is just pure stinginess.

Don’t try to figure out why you should leave. You’ll gaslight yourself into thinking you’re overreacting. Figure out why you would want to stay.

Because from here, it reads like you're hoping he'll go back to being the person he was before (he won't!), or you're hoping that the love you have will see you through (it won’t).

You’re young. You should be having fun and enjoying dating, not dragging along a useless man who is actively making your life more difficult. It’s okay to leave. Don’t try to avoid the heartbreak just for the sake of it. Go start enjoying dating.

#answered #.

[caseyandsloan]

Mark Sloan x own character

Backstory

Gabriella Webber is the adopted daughter of Richard Webber and Adel Webber, the couple adopted Gabriella when she was a new born. Richard was in middle of medical school when he first meet Gabriella and Adel was studying to being a nurse, one morning when Richard and Adel was leaving there apartment to go to the school they found a baby right outside of there apartment and that was Gabriella.

Gabriella Webber was an adult today and she was a doctor like her adopted father, Gabriella was white with dirty blond hair. The Webber family have always been judged because Mr and Mrs Webber are black and Ms Webber is white but the family haven’t cared about what other thinks or say.

Richard Webber is the chief of Seattle Grace hospital and he had been thinking a lot for the past three month about hiring someone who can take over as head of trauma, about a month and a half ago Richard Webber called his daughter and offered her the job as the new head of trauma.

Gabriella’s pov

Today it was my first day at Seattle Grace hospital, I was glad to be back in Seattle and to get the opportunity to be the head of trauma. I haven’t been in Seattle since two years ago, i have been living in LA for two years and I did my intern year and my residency in New York.

I was already at the hospital and I was ready for my first shift, since I had been here at the hospital many times I already knew where my dad’s office was.

I was on the right floor where my dad’s office are, I started to walk in the direction of where the office are. Some of the nurses and doctors was looking at me as I was heading to my dads office, some of the nurses and doctors knew who I was already.

After I had been walking on the right floor for less than two minutes I was standing right outside of the chiefs office. I knocked at the door before I open it up, I walked in to the office and I closed the door behind me.

Gabriella - good morning, Chief!

Richard - good morning, Gabriella!

I was really glad to be back in Seattle but I was a little scared to have my dad as my boss, I guess I’m more scared that he will treat me differently and I really don’t want that.

Richard - Gabriella! It is just you and me here, you don’t have to call me chief.

Gabriella - okay dad. And please don’t say Gabriella.

My parents have always said Gabby to me, the only times they where saying Gabriella was when I was in trouble or doing something they I wasn’t supposed to do.

Richard - I have your navy scrubs here and your white coat.

Gabriella - thanks.

My dad got up from his chair and he took a few steps towards me and he handed me my new work clothes, I got more excited as I was holding my new work clothes.

After I had talked to my dad for a few more minutes I left his office, I went to one of the on call rooms to change my clothes to the navy scrubs.

A few minutes later I had changed in to my new work clothes and I was on my way right back to my dads office, I was gonna meet my new co workers who was the head of different specialties.

Gabriella - so where are my coworkers?

Richard - I have paged them, they are probably on there way.

General’s pov

Addison Montgomery had gotten paged by chief and she was on her way to the chiefs office, as Addison was on her way to the chiefs office she saw three attendings that was walking towards the same direction. Preston Burke, Derek Shepherd and Mark Sloan had gotten paged by chief as well.

Derek - did chief page you too?

He asked his ex wife.

Addison - yeah, did he page the three of you too?

Burke - yes he did.

Mark - do any of you know what he wants?

Derek - no, maybe it is about one of us becoming the new chief in the future.

Addison - why would he page all of us then?

Derek - no clue.

The four of them had walked up to the chiefs office, Derek was the one who knocked at the door before he opened the door and took a step inside of the office.

Derek - chief, you wanted to see us?

Richard - yes, come in.

The four attendings walked in to the chiefs office, they saw one person that they didn’t recognize since they only saw her back. Mark Sloan noticed the girls long blonde hair that was a little bit curly and the fine ass, like he always notice about a woman.

Richard - I want to introduce you all to the new head of Trauma.

The woman turned around to face her new coworkers. Mark Sloan was checking out his new coworker, Derek noticed how Mark was looking at her.

Addison - Gabriella.

Gabriella - hey Addison!

Addison - it’s good to see you.

Gabriella - you too.

Addison and Gabriella shared a hug, they have meet each other a few times.

Gabriella - hey Derek!

Derek - hey!

Gabriella and Derek shared a hug as well, they knew each other as well.

Burke - it’s good to see you Gabriella!

Gabriella - it’s good to see you too!

Burke and Gabriella knew each other and especially since she is the chiefs daughter, and she have been at the hospital plenty of times. Burke and Gabriella has a past together but no one knows about, they have wanted it to be a secret between them.

Richard - okay, some of you know each other. But for you Dr Sloan, this is my daughter Gabriella.

Mark - I didn’t know that you had a daughter.

Everyone knew what Mark Sloan was thinking, how can Richard Webber have a daughter who is white. No one said anything about it since there are already people who have said something about it, but everyone knows in the end that Gabriella Webber is adopted.

Richard - Gabriella, this is our head of plastic Mark Sloan.

Gabriella - hey!

Mark - Hey!

Richard - okay, since you all have meet each other let’s get back to work.

Everyone left chiefs office, Addison was fast to take Gabriella with her. They started to talk to each other since it had been along time ago since they saw each other, Addison was gonna follow Gabriella down to the ER since trauma is Gabriella’s specialty.

Mark was watching as Addison walked away with Gabriella, Derek and Preston looked at each other as they had both noticed the look on Marks face. Derek and Mark wasn’t friends but they where sometimes talking to each other, most of the times it had to do with work but they wasn’t fighting anymore.

Derek - you can forget about her.

Mark - what?

Derek - Gabriella won’t sleep with you.

Mark - why not?

Burke - Gabriella Webber is forbidden fruit.

But everyone knew how Mark Sloan was and everyone who haven’t been near him had heard something about him.

Mark’s pov

The shift had ended about a two hours ago I was at joes with Derek, Addison, Preston and Gabriella. I was thinking about hitting on Gabriella but I would do that when the others aren’t around. Since the others knew Gabriella already it was harder to get a moment alone with her, and during shift u didn’t see so much of her since I was in surgery most of the time.

Addison - Gabby, how was your first shift today?

Gabriella - good!

I came to Seattle in the first place because I wanted Addison back, but since I came to Seattle she has been cold and she only wants me when it has to do with sex. I didn’t have anything against it at first but i am starting to get a little sick of it, I haven’t had anything against sleeping with diffrent women but when you like someone and you want something special with one person you kind of do feel different about it.

Derek - what did you think about the new interns?

Gabriella - I liked most of them, but some of them I think they are here for wrong reasons.

Burke - who?

Gabriella - Karev for example, don’t like his attitude.

Addison - who do you like?

Gabriella - Grey and Yang are pretty good doctors, O’Malley is sweet and he can be a good doctor and Steven’s has to much emotion when she’s working.

Burke - you do have a point with that.

I didn’t say anything but I did agree with Gabriella that Yang and Grey are the best interns and the rest are good but some of them are here for wrong reasons.

About an hour had passed, shepherd and Burke had left, I was sitting at joes with Addison and Gabriella, I was having a great time. I had noticed that I haven’t looked at Addison or giving her attention like I usually does, all my attention has been on Gabriella.

Addison - I’m gonna go, I have an early surgery tomorrow morning. Are you two gonna stay here?

Gabriella - I’m gonna stay here a little longer.

Mark - me too.

I finally would get a moment alone with Gabriella.

Addison - bye then!

Gabriella/Mark - bye!

Addison left and I was alone with Gabriella, I took a few sips of my beer and she took a few sips of her drink, I had seen when addison walked out of the bar.

Gabriella - so what’s up with you and Addison?

Mark - what?

I didn’t know that she knew about me and Addison or if she had noticed something about me and her, but then girls do talk.

Gabriella - I noticed the tension between you too, and I had heard some rumors today at the hospital.

Mark - there was something between us, but I’m not sure anymore. Addison have been giving me most of the time the cold shoulder, or she is using me for sex. Starting to get a little tired of it.

Gabriella - kind of get that you are getting tired of that.

Mark - yeah?

Gabriella - it’s not easy when you want something more.

Mark - exactly.

Gabriella was an easy person to talk to, which kind of felt weird since I only meet her for the first time today. I really didn’t feel uncomfortable talking to her, more like the opposite.

Mark - since you had heard rumors about me and Addison. Have you heard rumors about me then?

Gabriella - yes.

Mark - what’s the rumors?

Gabriella - that you are sleeping around and being a man whore.

Mark - it is mostly true.

I really felt I could be honest with her, I didn’t even feel that way with Addison who I have know for years.

Gabriella - you don’t seems to be that kind of guy, and I have meet guys who screams man whore.

Mark - thanks, it’s nice to hear that.

She gave me a little smile.

Mark - so you want to get out of here and go back to my place.

Gabriella - nice try buddy, but I don’t sleep with coworkers.

Mark - to bad, but one day I will get you to sleep with me.

She laughed and she had an amazing laugh and smile, everything about her felt perfect even if I have t known her for 24 hours.

Gabriella - we will have to see about that. I’m gonna leave and go to my place alone.

We smiled at each other and I watched as she took her stuff and walked out of the bar. I had one mission and that is to get Gabriella to sleep with me or at least to go out on a date, I don’t even care if she’s the chief’s daughter.

#greys anatomy #mark sloan #mark sloan x reader #seattle #derek shepherd #addison montgomery

[delphinixm]

5,9,17,24!

30 𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝑻𝒂𝒗

5. 𝘿𝙞𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙏𝙖𝙫 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙡 𝙤𝙧 𝙞𝙣𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙡 𝙚𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙤𝙮𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩? 𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙚𝙨, 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙟𝙤𝙗? 𝙄𝙛 𝙣𝙤, 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙢𝙚𝙚𝙩? 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙩?

Yes actually! They worked as a funeral director and part time at an apothecary, thought they don't have any really college studied medical training, Cirith due to their worship is very knowledgeable in not only healing magic, but practical health as well. They take a lot of pride in their work as anyone really should, but there's was especially important to them as Talonite's are fragmented and wandering. Fair from the tight churches they used to hold during the Rotting Man War. They've tasted food for nobles and covered up many a Bhaalite worship to let them do what they want to do.

They had a modest home in Baulder's gate that they never really struggled to pay for once they cemented themselves in their work.

9. 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙏𝙖𝙫 𝙙𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙗𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙚𝙧𝙨?

Cirith was on their way to work when they were taken, though they don't really care. They're comfortable on their adventure it's the most excitement they've gotten in a while.

17. 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙖 𝙡𝙞𝙖𝙧 𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙏𝙖𝙫? 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙙𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙡𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜?

Oh Cirith is incredibly good at lying, they have a smile that never does quite reach their eyes and a calm stillness that's reminiscent of the dead. They've perfected it, it's how you survive in a big city when you worship a less than good God even if the mistress is mostly forgotten. They prefer to tell half-truths as to actual lies, but sometimes you need to fake being a certain way until you get what you want. It comes naturally to them.

They don't really get upset when they're lied to unless it was a lie about something important, they're very well aware that everyone has their own motives and developments going on. Everyone wants something different, who are they to judge the ways they get it?

24. 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙏𝙖𝙫 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙤𝙛𝙛 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙨?

Unsettling for sure.

The kind of feeling you get when the hazmat suits walk into a hospital room. Their body is covered in ritualistic scarring and tattoos, though they have that serene smile it never quite reaches their eyes, they are always still and poised. It's like they're practicing how to be a person. Even more so when they speak, their voice is neutral, but somehow leans more feminine and the way it changes depending on who they talk to is quite noticeable. That and their worship of a Goddess of disease and poison doesn't exactly lend itself to people being comfortable in their presence though their bedside as a doctor is impeccable.

They make themselves hard to read. Though I'm sure the camp companions get used to it and I'm sure they get along with Minthara the most.

#∭ 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒆𝒇𝒕 𝒖𝒏𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒅 - [𝑶𝑶𝑪] #∭ 𝑳𝒆𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒆 𝒂 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 - [𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑵𝑶𝑵𝑺] #Cirith my little meow meow; my little tav who has questionable morals

[stargazer-sims]

Enter the Teddy Bear

The second Eden sees who he's opened the door to, he immediately questions his own judgment in answering the doorbell while he’s home alone.

This is how people die in movies, he thinks. They open the door to a crazed murderer or something, and that's it. Game over.

At first glance, the man on the other side of the door is scary enough in Eden's opinion to give off criminal vibes. He's white and enormous, with a wicked-looking scar next to his left eye and something Eden thinks of as a military-style haircut. The curve of his brows seems to give his face a slight but persistent scowl.

Then, he looks closer at the man, at his eyes. They're blue — even bluer than Nikolai's, which are a sort of greyish-blue like a winter morning sky — and there's something uncannily familiar about them. When and where has he met a man with such extraordinarily blue eyes before? And now that he's studying him, he decides the man looks more scared than scary.

So, not threatening. Maybe just anxious and confused.

He relaxes, and then a spark of recognition flares up in his brain. Yes, he actually might know who this unexpected visitor is.

He’s more certain when the man opens his mouth and the first sound out of it is one of the very few Russian words Eden is able to recognize. It’s the word for ‘hello’.

Eden: Hello. Can I help you?

Mishka: I’m looking for Nikolai Pavlenko. Is this where he lives?

The man’s English is heavily accented, and Eden guesses he’s still actively learning the language, judging by how he pauses between some words. But the way he says Nikolai's name sounds so correct, so unequivocally Russian, it's like everyone else around him has been pronouncing it wrong all this time.

Eden: Depends on who’s asking.

Mishka: Me?

Eden: Who are you?

Mishka: Mikhail Petrovich Vasiliev. Who are you?

Of course! Eden is gratified to have his initial guess confirmed, and congratulates himself for getting it right. He hasn’t seen this man in ages, and he looks different than Eden remembers, but perhaps it was his exceptionally blue eyes that gave his identity away in the end.

Well, that and his name, Eden quips internally.

Eden: Right! I thought that’s who you were. I’m Eden. Eden Seong. You probably don’t remember me, though.

Mishka: Yes, I do remember. Kolya’s little sunshine. Not so little now, I see. You got bigger.

Eden can’t help smiling at hearing the special pet name Nikolai gave him. He’s surprised the other man knows it, but not at all bothered by him referring to Eden by it.

Eden: It wouldn’t take much for me to be bigger. I think I was like, fifteen or sixteen last time you saw me. I definitely wasn’t done growing yet. But, look at you, though. Your English is a lot better now, and you got... tidier? Last time I saw you, didn’t you have a mullet?

Mishka: Hockey haircut. Kolya said it was like business in front and party in back. Now it looks like business all round, but secretly is still total party.

Eden laughs out loud at that.

Eden: Come in and take your shoes off. Nikolai’s not here, but you can wait for him. He’ll be back soon.

Mishka: Thank you for hospitality. You live here too?

Eden: Yeah. Me and Nikolai and my brother Charlie.

Mishka: You're twins, yeah?

Eden: Yeah. I'm surprised you remember.

Mishka: You taught Kolya how to eat with chopsticks. I remember that. He couldn't stop talking about it. About you. He's always very proud of you.

The visitor seems to have a little trouble fitting his large frame under their tiny Japanese-style table. Eventually he settles in, even though he looks awkward sitting there.

Eden: So, what brings you to Japan? I mean, clearly it’s Nikolai, but why? If you don’t mind me asking?

Mishka: I have big news. Many big news.

Eden: Oh?

Mishka: Yes. I do… what do you say? I do retirement. Is harder to play now because I'm old, and many injuries. And doctor says I also have to get operation on my leg.

Eden: I always find that kind of funny, you know. When people in their thirties or whatever call themselves old. But from a sports point of view, I guess you're not wrong. I'm scared of my thirties, because what's a guy supposed to do after a professional sports career?

Mishka: Recover.

Eden: Fair enough, but after you recover. What then?

Mishka: Operation first, then recovery. After that... I don't know.

Eden: Hopefully you'll figure it out. That sucks about the operation, too. Sorry to hear it.

Mishka: Thank you.

Eden: You didn't really travel to Japan to tell Nikolai that stuff, though, did you?

Mishka: Yes, sort of? Is part of... bigger picture? That's how you say?

Eden: Yes, that's right. When a detail is important to the overall view of a situation, we say it's part of the big picture. What does the big picture look like for you, though?

Mishka: It looks like... to say I didn’t forget what we promised. Me and Kolya, I mean.

Eden: What did you promise?

Mishka: When our lives changed, we would be together again.

Eden: Together, as in… together?

Mishka: As in, there has never been anyone since him. My heart is filled only with him.

Eden: Uh… okay. That’s like… super dramatic.

Mishka: Is profession of undying love. Like great Russian love story of modern times.

Eden: Yeah. About that.

Mishka: What?

Eden: You may have some competition.

Mishka: Always competition. I’m tired of so much competition. Is it Anna-Valentina?

Eden: Who?

Mishka: He calls her Anya.

Eden: Oh. Yeah. Literally everyone calls her Anya.

Mishka: I never will, and she is not allowed to call me Mishka.

Eden: Not to switch gears on you, but I guess I should’ve asked up front. Now that we’re on the topic, what do you want me to call you? Do you prefer Mikhail?

Mishka: From most people, yes. But you can call me Mishka. You are Kolya’s family, so maybe some day my family too.

Eden: I wouldn’t assume too much, if I were you. You should probably talk through that with Nikolai, so he can explain what’s going on.

Mishka: What is going on?

Eden: The short version is that Nikolai’s been spending a lot of time with his friend Ginger lately, and also Anya’s due to arrive here any day now. It’s complicated, honestly, and I’m not sure this is the greatest time for you to be here.

Mishka: I remember Ginger. He always spent time with her. Is okay. They’re just friends. But Anna-Valentina needs to stay far away from him. She is bad, very dangerous.

Eden: We can agree on that, at least. I’m not sure he and Ginger are just friends any more, though. They went on a date a couple nights ago.

Mishka: A date? As in… a date?

Eden: As in, he put on makeup and used hair products, and he didn’t come back till morning.

Mishka: Oh.

Eden: Not gonna lie, it'd be ideal if Anya stayed the hell away from all of us. She's nothing but trouble, and she's hurt Nikolai so many times that I think we've all lost count. But he likes Ginger, and I think he's happy right now, so...

Miska: So... is hopeless?

Eden: I didn't say that. Look, for what it's worth, I'd prefer that he didn't go on dates with Ginger, either. She's the coach of one of my main competitors, and I don't know. It feels super weird to think about him dating her.

Mishka: Sounds very tangled.

Eden: Trust me, it is. It's not the kind of situation I'd want to walk into the middle of. You know, if I weren't already in the middle of it.

Mishka: You're trying to discourage me?

Eden: No, I didn't mean it like that. All I'm saying is, I'm not sure if Nikolai will be prepared for you to be here, especially with whatever's going on with Ginger. Plus, Anya's coming back soon. All of that's going to be a lot for him.

Mishka: Is a lot for me too. Is a long journey, especially if it's for nothing. But, he knew I was coming, and he... he didn't say don't come, so what should I think?

Eden: Hang on. Nikolai was expecting you?

Mishka: Yes. We still have contact. Is how I knew he was here, and he gave me address.

Eden: Watcher help us. Well, that explains a lot.

Mishka: What?

Eden: The man is an absolute disaster. He probably doesn't even see the problem.

Mishka: He wants to love everyone.

Eden: Exactly. That's the problem.

Mishka: Is one of my favourite things about him, but also not my favourite.

Eden: That makes perfect sense, actually, and... wait. This is him texting me right now.

Mishka: What does he say?

Eden: He's on his way home from grocery shopping. He wants to know if I need anything from the pharmacy. I'm gonna say no, and I'm going to tell him you're here.

Mishka: Okay.

Eden: Okay, now he says he wants to make sure he's got the correct phone number for you.

Mishka tells him the number, and he texts it to Nikolai. No more than a minute later, Mishka's phone rings. The ringtone is something soaring and operatic, and it seems so incongruous with the image of big, hulking Mishka that Eden is amused.

Then, Mishka is having an animated telephone conversation in Russian, and even without the certainty that it's Nikolai he's talking to, Eden thinks he'd still know it was Nikolai. Mishka's voice changes in a very subtle way, and not just because he's speaking another language. Eden knows his own voice sounds slightly different as well, when he's speaking Korean or Japanese instead of English, but what happens with Mishka is more than that. It's his tone that changes, becoming softer and less guarded.

Eden has heard this gentle shift before in the way his parents talk to each other, particularly when they speak Korean, and a little in the way Haru speaks to him when they're alone.

He really does love him, Eden realizes, amazed that Mishka could hang onto such strong sentiments after so much time apart from Nikolai. And then he thinks, Oh crap. This situation is definitely not gonna end well for somebody.

Mishka ends the call with what are quite obviously phrases of endearment. Eden doesn't understand Russian, but he's convinced a person doesn't really need to understand a language to comprehend certain concepts or expressions of emotion, and he's absolutely sure that Mishka is overwhelmed. Mishka looks happy, but also as if he's about to cry, and Eden guesses his expression is probably less of a smile and more of an attempt to hide anxiety or anticipation.

He has a sudden, vivid mental image of what Nikolai would do if he were here right now. Compared to this giant man, Nikolai is tiny, but that wouldn't stop him from trying to gather Mishka in his arms to comfort him. It would look ridiculous, but neither of them would care, and he imagines Mishka would start feeling more calm and safe, just as Eden himself does when he's upset and Nikolai hugs him.

Eden can see the attraction, honestly. Nikolai is compassionate and patient and gentle. He's one of the genuinely good people in the world, and he truly does seem to want to love and be loved by everyone. Likely he shouldn't be surprised that so many people actually do seem to be in love with him. Eden has to admit that if they'd met at a different time, under different circumstances, he might have fallen in love with Nikolai too. Not in the way he already loves him, like an uncle or big brother, but in the way Mishka, Ginger and probably even Anya love him.

The trouble with this, of course, is that somebody is bound to be hurt when all is said and done. As much as Nikolai may care for them all, Eden knows he'll have to choose one of them — or decide to choose none of them — in the end.

He hates to consider any of them being hurt, but he most especially doesn't like the thought of Nikolai getting his heart broken again. Unfortunately, Nikolai will have to sort everything out for himself and do his best to protect his own heart, as there's nothing at all Eden can do about it. It's a mess entirely of Nikolai's own making, and he's the only one who can clean it up.

All Eden can say is that he hopes the whole thing will get resolved with as little pain and suffering as possible.

#ts4 #sims 4 #sugar valentine #eden seong #mishka vasiliev #nikolai pavelenko #wearesugarvalentine #stargazersims

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

hostage | taken

Read on Ao3 Part 1

Warnings: panic attacks, implied/reference domestic abuse, sunah being creepy

Pairings: the canon levels of queer ambiguity surrounding our main two judges

Word Count: 5366

"I called him 'hyung,'" he mumbles and feels the noose around his neck tighten, "that's what happened."

"What?"

"That night. When you—when it was just him. He was trying to help me and I—I called him 'hyung.'"

"Yah," Elijah cries when Gaon's the one knocking on her door, "what are you doing? Yohan said you're supposed to stay in bed until you're better!"

"Since when do you listen to him?"

She glares at him. "You're an idiot and you're going to hurt yourself."

He laughs and she hates him a little bit for how much it makes her want to give in. She's stronger than that. He's the one hurt, she's the smart one. "Both of those things are probably true, but I was getting restless."

She allows herself one more glower before she's reluctantly letting him into her room. He bows his head like he always does and walks inside. "What do you want?"

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted breakfast, but if I'm too ill to be standing—"

"Oh, shut up," she grumbles, already wheeling out the door, listening to him laugh again behind her, "what are you making?"

"What would you like?"

"The toast you made a few days ago."

"Then that is what we'll eat. Do you want to help?"

"Can I?"

Gaon puts her to work chopping the cabbage and slicing the bread while he warms up a pan on the stove. He reaches for the butter dish and sighs when he sees what's underneath. "I shouldn't be surprised that neither of you eats butter, but you should try to."

"Why? Doesn't it just make you fat?"

"What's wrong with being fat?"

Elijah pauses, her knife still in the air, before she shrugs. "The doctors said I should try and stay the same weight. And isn't being fat bad for you?"

"No. In fact, most studies show that fat people are happier and live longer."

"Then why are we told not to get fat?"

Gaon shrugs. "Who knows? My point was that you can eat butter if you want to."

"Oh. Then you should put the butter dish closer to the edge of the counter so I can reach it."

He sets it back down, right near the other container with her cereal. A few moments later, he comes over to see where she is with the cabbage, smiling and taking the small bowl from her over to the stove. He cracks an egg and then another, and soon the kitchen fills with the sizzle of cooking food.

"Soohyun-unnie says you taught her how to cook."

"Simple things, nothing complicated." He rolls his eyes. "I learned my lesson about leaving her alone in the kitchen for complicated things."

"Why, what happened?"

"Oh, she almost set fire to my curtains."

Elijah bursts out laughing. "How clumsy was she?"

"It was more like she didn't understand how hot you could make a pan with oil in it before it explodes. Very dangerous." He points at her with his spatula. "You won't be doing anything like that, will you?"

"No, I'm not stupid."

"No, you're not."

She raises her head and nods to herself, going back to finish chopping the cabbage. When she's done and it's all in another bowl, she carries it over to the stove and sets it next to his elbow. He flips what's in the pan over a few more times before carefully using the spatula to cut it apart, laying it on the bread slices.

"Do you have the sugar?"

"Yes, it's right here."

The toast takes shape between them and when they've finished, there's a pile on the plate. Elijah sighs and reaches for one only for Gaon to lightly smack her hand.

"Yah! What are you doing?"

"Eat at the table," he scolds, picking up the plate and carrying it over, "then you won't get crumbs everywhere."

She grumbles but does as she's told, wheeling over and waiting for him to set the plate down between them. "Aren't you sitting down too?"

"I'm going to make coffee. You go ahead and eat, though."

She does, uncaring of the crumbs now that she's got a plate underneath her, watching him as he goes through the cabinets until he finds the coffee he wants. With the way he's turned, she can't stop her eyes traveling over the bandage on his neck, nor the rest of him. Her hands stutter momentarily when she thinks about the video.

"We should kill her."

Gaon startles, looking over. "Who?"

"Jung Sunah. The woman who cut you and sent me that video."

"She sent it to you?" He looks horrified at the mention of it. "I'm so sorry, Elijah, you shouldn't have seen that."

"What are you apologizing to me for? You're the one she hurt!" Her hands tighten on her wheels. "We should kill the others who hurt you too."

He lets out another laugh, but this one doesn't sound happy. Gaon should only laugh when he's happy. "You want to kill a lot of people."

"Don't you want to kill them too?"

His hands slow, then pause, as he leans on the counter. He's quiet for a long moment as something flickers across his expression.

A bird chirps outside.

"I don't know," he says finally, picking himself up and going back to making coffee, "by the way, have you seen my phone?"

"Why should I have seen it?"

"I lost it when they took me, I thought they kept it. If they found it when they found me, I figured Chief might have given it to you."

"He didn't. I don't know where it is. You should just get a new phone."

"I can't just afford a new phone—"

"Yohan will buy it." She looks up when Gaon splutters. "What?"

Before he can explain himself, K walks in and bows a good-morning to them both. Gaon seizes on the opportunity to talk to another person and quickly offers him breakfast too.

"I don't know—"

"Please," he interrupts, smiling that big smile he does when he wants you to do something, "sit? Have one at least, we made so many."

"'We?'"

"I helped," she says, "they taste good."

"Elijah is an excellent sous-chef."

K gives in and sits, taking one and biting into it. His eyes widen and he nods. "This is good. Thank you, Kim-pansa, Elijah-ssi."

"You're welcome."

"Have you seen my phone anywhere?" Gaon finally comes to join them at the table, carrying two cups of coffee. "I can't find it anywhere."

"It's plugged in behind the desk in the living room."

"Ah, thank you." He gives Elijah a look as he finally picks up his own food. "No need for me to get a new one."

"He would've bought it for you."

K raises an eyebrow and looks between them. "What's going on?"

"If Gaon needed a new phone, Yohan would've bought it for him."

"Elijah!"

"That is untrue—"

"Thank you."

"—because he's already bought one anyway. Your old one should be turned over for evidence."

"Really?"

She bursts out laughing again as K nods seriously. Gaon looks like he's resisting the urge to put his head in his hands as K reaches for his coffee.

"Besides, it's hardly the most expensive thing he's bought you."

"Tell me more!"

"Are you two going to eat your breakfast or not?"

* * *

Yohan stares out of his office window, fingers drumming on his desk. His computer sits open, some email chain he stopped paying attention to ages ago displayed, patiently awaiting his reply. He ignores it, watching one of the billboard screens play an advertisement for the Social Responsibility Foundation.

Why would Jung Sunah make such a big play so early? She's already kidnapped him and warned him off digging around the Foundation. And now she kidnaps his Left Associate Judge and warns him to only play with her? And to do it so blatantly, to put herself on camera, have herself wound Gaon, and to speak to him. Granted, she didn't use his name, but she didn't exactly keep it a secret as to whom she was speaking to.

What's stopping him from releasing that footage and letting the media eat her alive?

It wouldn't make Gaon very happy.

He holds back a scoff. Gaon would be safer without Jung Sunah roaming around, especially now that she apparently has a taste for his blood. And what, he's already thrown Gaon's past to the public and he seems to have been forgiven for that.

Has he forgiven you?

"I don't need his forgiveness," he mutters to himself as he turns back to these wretched emails.

A knock comes from his door.

"Enter."

A distraction walks in, taking the form of Lawyer Ko and Judge Oh, both carrying a large file as they bow and wish him good morning. He waves them to the larger desk by the window and walks over to join them.

"This is for the next trial, yes?"

"That's correct. We've been trying to anticipate the defense's trial strategy and prepare accordingly."

"I was able to find the majority of the evidence through their databases since they have to report their overall records to the public," Judge Oh explains, flipping open the file and running her finger down a large spreadsheet. "It looks as though they're trying to falsely declare the information protected and claim data theft, even though it's public information, by law."

He listens to their explanations. They're good. They're very good. If he hadn't already a plan for this trial, he would be using this one. As it stands, he nods and makes affirmative noises at the appropriate intervals, and continues turning the video over in his mind.

There must be something he's missing. Some piece of leverage, some piece of information, something more than Gaon's dignity she thinks will keep him from releasing it.

"Chief?"

He blinks, focusing on Judge Oh's face. "Yes?"

"You seem lost in thought," she says, "I asked you if you had any input."

"No, no, it seems fine." He waves his hand dismissively. "Send me the charts, I'd like to look them over myself."

"Of course."

He glances out of the window. The advertisement plays again.

Is she banking on his reluctance to play the card she's dealt him so quickly?

"Are you worried about Judge Kim?"

He turns to look at her, taken aback by her sudden question and even more by her perceptiveness. "Why would you ask that?"

"I'm worried about him too. He seems to get himself injured a lot."

Lawyer Ko disguises a snort behind a cough. "That's one way of putting it, sure."

"Is he healing alright?"

Yohan shifts. "How should I know?"

She frowns. "He's staying with you, isn't he?"

He doesn't say anything, inviting her to tell him how exactly she knows that yes, Gaon is currently in his house and will stay there until he heals if he knows what's good for him. Judge Oh closes one of the files and tucks it into her arm.

"His friend called the office earlier to ask if he'd left his phone here. I said he didn't, and she told me what happened."

Something tight closes around Yohan's chest. "She did?"

"Yes." Judge Oh shakes her head. "I can't believe Bamboo Spear are getting so aggressive to beat people up like that. And to take him out on the street like that too—I was half worried he'd be in the hospital."

"He should be."

Ignoring Lawyer Ko's pointed remark and even more pointed look, Yohan stands, signifying that he's quite ready for these people to be out of his office. "He's healing fine."

"Let him know I asked, would you?" He hums. "And tell him to let his friend know when he finds his phone."

"Or gets a new one."

Alright, that's enough out of you. "Didn't you have a meeting with the PD?"

Lawyer Ko just gives him a look that he's starting to see on Elijah's face too and the two of them leave. He makes sure they really are gone before he shakes his head and turns back to his desk. As he goes, he catches sight of his own phone on the desk.

Gaon hadn't asked about it, and he wasn't inclined to just give it back. It could have been tracked, after all, and the police would want it for evidence—Chief Jo especially. And that policewoman would want a way to contact him...

He wouldn't need it while he was still healing. It wasn't like he was going anywhere and K or Elijah could easily keep him updated.

With this in mind, he reaches for the phone to ask for said update when the screen flickers to life, a notification buzzing.

* * *

Judge Kim says please when he's clearing away the dishes and K flinches. He knows Judge Kim sees it because he pointedly does not look at K for the rest of the time spent washing up. He makes polite conversation until Elijah declares she has class and wheels away, leaving them alone.

"Kim-pansa—"

"You said my phone was behind the desk?"

"Yes, but—"

"Thank you." Judge Kim doesn't give him time to say anything else as he strides to the living room. Unfortunately for him, K has had at least one decade of putting up with Kang Yohan's dramatics and walking quickly from a room isn't going to cut it. He gets up and follows, even as Judge Kim startles at his footsteps. "I'm sure you've got things to do, you don't have to babysit me."

"Kim-pansa."

"Yes?"

"We need to talk."

"About what?"

Irritation flares at the base of his spine and he steps forward. "Don't play dumb about this. Whoever he is—"

"Is none of your business," Judge Kim snaps, moving purposefully toward his phone. K's arm darts forward and grabs his elbow. "Yah! Let me go!"

"It became my business when you called me 'hyung' while having a traumatic breakdown, so—"

"Keep your voice down," he hisses, glancing upward to make sure Elijah hasn't overheard them.

"So," K continues, even as he lets him go and does lower his voice, "if whoever he is, if he can hurt you that badly without being anywhere near you, I need to know about it."

Judge Kim glances up at the second floor one more time before he resigns himself to the fact that yes, K is going to make him talk about this and steps closer, his voice lowered to almost a whisper. "There's nothing to know. I haven't seen him in years."

"Does he know where you are?"

"Right now? I doubt it." Judge Kim huffs and gestures around. "I'm not exactly where most people would expect me to be right now."

Well, maybe not most people who've spent more than five minutes in the same room as you and Kang Yohan, but he doesn't say that bit out loud. "You're a judge on the Live Court Show, surely he's seen you. And your house isn't exactly the most secure."

"It's fine," comes the stubborn insistence, "besides, I'd just been abducted by Jung Sunah and beaten, I was out of it."

K opens his mouth to say that doesn't make me wrong when something buzzes and Judge Kim almost jumps out of his skin. He winces a moment later, probably having jarred a few of the still-healing wounds, and looks guiltily at the floor.

"Why do you care about this," he asks suddenly, "you've never cared that much about my safety before."

"Who do you think is going to be responsible for looking after you once you do get better?"

Judge Kim scoffs. "Between you and Soohyun-ah I'm not going to be able to go to the bathroom in peace. I'm an adult, K, I can look after myself."

"Like the way you did with this?"

Finally, something flickers behind his calm countenance, something like he's finally taking this seriously. "In case you missed it, I let myself get caught so they wouldn't get Elijah. And unless I'm mistaken about who exactly is important to Kang Yohan—"

"You are!"

The force of his sudden shout rings about the room and he takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

"You are mistaken," he says, watching Judge Kim's eyes widen in shock, "because you wouldn't be here if you didn't mean anything to Kang Yohan. I wouldn't be here with you right now if you weren't important. So you need to look after yourself."

Judge Kim just stares at him. He swallows heavily.

"They've lost too many," K says quietly, "don't make them lose you too."

"…'they?'"

It's K's turn to swallow heavily, drawing himself up a little more. Judge Kim stares at him for a moment longer before the slightest smile comes to his face.

"Don't worry," he whispers, "I won't tell anyone."

"You need to tell him."

His face twitches. "I know."

He looks over his shoulder to where the phone sits plugged in on the windowsill. Something flickers across his features again and for a moment, K sees the terrified man who looked up at him unseeing and called him hyung. The sight of it is almost enough to make him take the words back.

Almost.

* * *

Yohan frowns when he reads the text from K telling him that he needs to give Gaon the new phone tonight. He's about to send a message back asking why, when he hears his door open behind him.

There are only two people with the courage to walk into his office without explicit permission, and one of them is currently healing from wounds at the hands of the other.

He shutters the mask across his features and turns. Jung Sunah smiles sweetly at him, her purse hanging from one finger.

"Young Master," she simpers, walking closer, "you're still here."

"And so are you."

She giggles and stops a breath away. He looks down, absentmindedly recalling his urge to cut her hand off and savoring it as she reaches out to fix his tie. "I expected you to be next to your puppy's side. Or have you decided to put him down too?"

He ignores the cheap remark and tilts his head. "Risky move, sending me that video with yourself in it."

"Oh, that." She turns away and walks to the window. "You and I both know you won't do anything with it."

Oh, do we? He hums, walking over to join her, staring out at the white pavement and the people below. Out of the corner of his eye, he catches the self-satisfied smirk curling across her face and inwardly sighs. If she says something about this feeling 'right' or 'belonging up here—'

"It feels good, doesn't it?" She trails a nail along the glass. "Being up here with all of them down there."

"You assaulted a judge of the Live Court Show," he says instead, "threatened to kill him. And you spoke to me as a servant. That doesn't sound like something you want people to know about you."

He sees her hand pause and twitch, clearly fighting the urge to curl into a fist.

"How would they react," he muses, "if they knew?"

Instead of ruffling her further, his remark oddly seems to soothe her. She smiles and turns to face him, wagging her finger like she's scolding a child. "Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, Young Master."

He scoffs. "What do I have to lose from people knowing you used to be my servant?"

The smile only widens. "Didn't your father ever teach you not to let the dogs outside when there are wolves around?"

What?

Without another word, she turns and leaves, the door swinging shut behind her. He stares after her for a moment, before glancing back at his phone and K's warning.

What have you done, Kim Gaon, and what aren't you telling me?

* * *

Gaon looks down at his knees, rubbing his hands idly back and forth. The slight sting of his aching muscles keeps his mind here, in this room, instead of off wherever it wants to wander tonight.

It's probably for the best.

Don't make them lose you too.

Kim Gaon may be a lot of things, but he isn't stupid. He knows that he—and his face—have a place in the Kangs' lives now, if only because he's ruthlessly carved one out for himself. And K's right; the two of them have lost so much, it would be cruel to make them lose him too.

He looks at his hands, sees the scars that trace over almost every inch of visible skin. He's been lucky so far, able to hide them beneath the sleeves of his judge robes or beneath the bench where the cameras won't see. And yet there they are, silverly lines that mark him.

For a brief, fleeting moment, he envies Yohan, whose scars are on his back and easily hidden from view.

He hates himself for it before the thought even finishes forming.

How dare he compare himself, how dare he think something like that? How dare he be ungrateful for what live has afforded to spare him, and how dare he wish for something that he knows brings the man pain every time he walks? It's bad enough they sent that video to Elijah, made her watch the face of her father held at knifepoint and beaten unceremoniously, how can he look at what pain the two have them have suffered and resent them because he was spared it?

He shakes his head slightly to clear it.

That video. Why did they send it to Elijah? Sure, they needed some way to make their hostage claim known and Jung Sunah seemed to relish the power that being in front of a camera gave her, but it was her. And they sent it to Yohan. Surely that's even more of a risky move than just letting them know he'd been kidnapped? What was stopping Yohan from releasing the footage? Then everyone would know that—

He stops, breath catching in his throat.

The scars on his hands start to tingle.

Everyone would know he was captured. Everyone would know why he's absent from the Live Court Show. Everyone would know that despite all the glitz and prestige, despite the aura surrounding the three judges, despite all of that, Judge Kim Gaon is still vulnerable.

…he's never going to be able to go home again, is he?

The sound of the door flying open behind him makes him jump, whirling around to see Yohan himself standing there, still dressed for work.

I'm not there, it's not him.

"You really should knock," he tries, even though he knows it won't work.

"Still my house," Yohan remarks, walking over and tossing him something. He catches it, looking down. "Your number's been changed."

Gaon stares down at the new phone in his hands, then looks over at his old one, sitting on the nightstand. He swallows. "Why?"

"That one needs to be given to Chief Jo for evidence. And there could be a tracker in it."

He nods dumbly. Evidence. From the kidnapping. Just from the kidnapping.

"It can wait until you put the contacts you want in it," Yohan continues, noticing how quiet he's being, "they have a fair bit to go on at this point."

"Right." He forces himself to look up and smile. "Thank you for the new phone. How was work?"

Yohan stares at him for another moment, turning something over in his mind, before he turns and walks toward the window. "Jung Sunah came to see me today."

Alarm shoots him to his feet. "Are you alright?"

He glances over his shoulder, something that's almost fond amusement playing over his features. He nods and Gaon sags in relief, stumbling back a little onto the bed.

"What did she want?"

"To talk about the video."

Gaon hides his hands behind his back. "Did she ask you not to release it?"

Yohan hums noncommittally. "She seemed certain that I wasn't going to."

"What?"

"Mm."

"Why? There's nothing in it that would hurt you."

Why isn't he releasing the video? Why hasn't he released the video? What did Jung Sunah say to him?

What does she know?

"You've been keeping secrets from me."

His hands tense and freeze behind his back as Yohan turns toward him. "What?"

"Something happened with K the night we brought you back." He starts walking closer. "Something he still won't tell me about."

Shit.

"Do you know what Jung Sunah said to me when I asked why she could be sure I wouldn't release the video?" Gaon shakes his head. "That my father knew not to let the dogs outside when there was rumor of wolves."

A memory of a knife held to his throat and the soft croon of a voice calling him a dog.

The faint ringing noise is back. He's floating, only belatedly realizing that he can't feel his hands anymore.

She knows.

She knows.

Yohan is still waiting for an answer.

Don't let them lose you too.

But how dare he compare his pain to theirs?

He decides then and there that he will not be the reason Jung Sunah gets away with hurting them anymore.

"I called him 'hyung,'" he mumbles and feels the noose around his neck tighten, "that's what happened."

"What?"

"That night. When you—when it was just him. He was trying to help me and I—I called him 'hyung.'"

Yohan is too much a professional to let his confusion show plainly, but he can tell by the silence that it's not good enough. And why would it be? Gaon swallows, glancing around to find something, anything that could help, and his gaze lands on his old phone.

He picks it up and unlocks it, pushing it into Yohan's hands.

"Evidence," he manages, before turning his back and going into the bathroom. The tingle of nausea won't leave the back of his throat and he'd rather not vomit in front of him.

The room is silent save for the gentle tapping noise of Yohan scrolling through the messages and missed call notifications.

A bird chirps outside.

He tries not to flinch and fails miserably as loud footsteps suddenly make for the door and it shuts with a resounding slam. He can't help but sag against the bathroom sink, his hands buried in his hair, bile burning in the back of his throat. He feels cold and hot all over, his hands aching and his body screaming as he gags against the smooth tile.

So.

Yohan knows now.

He wonders if he got as far as at least a whore gives you your money's worth before storming out.

A strangled cry leaves his throat when hands suddenly come to rest on his shoulders and he flails, toppling over and landing hard on the floor.

"Easy," a voice says, "easy."

Yohan—Yohan's still here? He heard him leave, he heard the door close, what—

"Gaon. Gaon. Kim Gaon."

Oh, he realizes when Yohan's voice starts to get more and more urgent, I'm panicking again.

Of course, once he realizes it, he realizes how fast his breathing is, how much his chest feels like a rubber band that just won't give, how much his head is pounding. His hands are useless, lying limply at his sides and he can't move, he can't move, he can't move—

"Aish," he hears faintly before the colored blob in front of him shifts a little closer. "Gaon, calm down, you're going to hurt yourself."

The voice is softer now, speaking to him like he's a frightened animal. He splutters a little and shakes his head.

"Shh," the voice says again, "just—just calm down. You're not going to be hurt."

He's…not?

"You're safe. Nothing will hurt you right now. You're safe. Just calm down."

Easier said than done, he thinks as he curls in on himself, trying to do what the voice wants. The blob moves a little closer, blocking out the doorway and he should hate that, shouldn't he? His exit's being blocked, he can't get out that way anymore, but there's something he wants to lean into. He closes his eyes, curling up a bit more, breaths shuddering against his knees.

"That's it," the voice murmurs, "good job."

It takes an embarrassingly long time to collect himself, and an even longer time for him to summon up the courage to raise his head to confirm that yes, Kang Yohan is, in fact, crouched in front of him in the bathroom. He swallows in a pitiful attempt to get himself together and knows by the way his gaze follows it that he fails miserably.

"Up off the floor," Yohan bids quietly, "you'll make your injuries worse."

Gaon nods and tries, only for his legs to buckle as soon as he gets more of his weight on them. Yohan catches him, holds him steady until he can walk again.

"Go slow," he says, still speaking quietly, the smallest hint of a smile on his face, "we're not in a rush, baby deer."

"Yah." Gaon paws clumsily at his shoulder, "'m not a baby."

Yohan raises an eyebrow and slowly starts to pull back. Gaon lets out a noise he will deny forever and holds tighter. Yohan chuckles. "Come on, baby deer, back to the bed."

Despite the teasing, Yohan helps him steadily out of the bathroom until he's lowered carefully to sit on the bed again, wincing slightly as his muscles protest the movement. The hand on his shoulder stays, right over the remnant of the explosion wound. He takes another deep breath as it starts to move, slowly up to his chin, lifting his face.

"You didn't hurt yourself falling over," Yohan says, looking him over, "that's good."

Yohan's still touching him. He's still touching him. He can still bear to look at him—but he can look at all manner of horrors without flinching, perhaps Gaon is no different now.

"Are—when are you going to release the video?"

"I'm not."

"You—what?"

"I'm not," he says again, firmer this time, "I'm not going to release it."

"But Jung Sunah—"

"Will get what it coming to her." His hand moves to cup the back of his head. "She will pay for what she's done, but not like this."

Fingers twist into the hair near the nape of his neck and his chest feels weird. He looks up at Yohan, who…looks angry, but in the way he did when he stared at Gaon over the twitching body of Jukchang when Elijah was almost kidnapped. Like he's furious at someone, but not—maybe not Gaon.

"She will suffer," he promises in a low voice, "and so will he."

Oh.

Oh.

"Say it," Yohan continues, hand moving to cradle the base of his skull, "say it."

"S-say what?"

"No one hurts you. No one touches you. Say you understand."

A lump rises in his throat as it dawns on him that Yohan still wants to keep him. "No one hurts me. No one touches me. I understand."

"Good."

The hand starts to leave and the cold pit yawning in his stomach won't let that happen. He grabs Yohan's arm and the man pauses. "Stay."

"What?"

"Will you—will you stay? Just for a second?"

For a moment, it looks like he might say no, but then he's nodding and coming to sit next to him on the bed. He lets Gaon clutch his sleeve like a child until he realizes what he's doing and lets it go with a mumbled apology. But Yohan doesn't move away. He just sits, letting Gaon press against his side.

I'm here, it says, I see you.

Maybe that's good enough for now.

* * *

"I need you to find someone."

Elijah looks up, disinterested. "Why, what did they do?"

"They hurt Gaon."

She's up in an instant, wheeling over to her computer. "Tell me the name. Now."

He gives it to her with grim satisfaction, watching the same look form on her face as she starts to work. K comes in behind him and they stand there, predators lying in wait. Yohan feels Gaon's old phone in his pocket and hands it off to K without another word.

Kim Gaon is his now, and that means he's not letting go until Gaon pushes him away.

#the devil judge #tdj #fic #dragonbabbles #gahan

[ramuda-kinnie]

Jakurai’s Actions around Ramuda are so Underrated— here is why.

The fact that Jakurai teaches Ramuda that it’s okay to be himself and show his emotions— the whole character arc of Ramuda Amemura— is a common trope in JakuRamu that is already discussed widely. But opposite is true, too. I want to talk about it because I rarely ever see this highlighted.

Ramuda shows Jakurai that it is okay to be himself too.

From the most “trivial” looking things like calling Jakurai’s hair beautiful, playing with it and putting it in braids when all Jakurai did was a lazy ponytail (..and in present timeline he does not even bother with that). From bringing him to a children’s park and enjoying to swing, not judging him by his age.

From saying that Jakurai can seek fun in his life.

That Jakurai is allowed to seek fun.

That he doesn’t always have to be that Big Responsible Person.

That he deserves a break from being The Hero.

That it’s okay if he doesn’t spend all his life in the war zone saving people, or murdering them, or being a mundane doctor minding his own business while raising an orphan.

That it’s okay to just— just be. I don’t think (affectionate) y’all understand how big of a thing it is for Jakurai Jinguji to actually simply exist. He is always feeling a call of duty, always seeking the scientific and philosophic explanations of everything, he feels obligated to justify all of his actions “for the benefit of humanity”, he finds worth in himself only if he is useful to other people (which also backfired as resentment, murder and insane regret at some point). Most of the time, his whole life is centered around saving. Saving saving saving. Saving the world, the orphans, the war zone, hell, even his meeting with Hifumi and Doppo is based on “saving” them from his trouble.

Just a few lines I recall from numerous songs. It is always about saving people (until the last, precious six colors drama track where he admits to Ramuda that he cannot save everyone, but he will definitely save him.) He even says he will become a superman if needed and it really hits close to home and like… If you or any of your loved ones ever experienced a savior complex I think you get it.

Even his raps are always about saving. Saving saving saving, healing healing healing. It is almost like he sees no inherent value in himself, for being Jakurai, at the same time he paradoxically sees such a high value in himself that he (may be feeling) feels above everyone else, like a god who can offer them a hand.

Either way, he doesn’t— can’t see himself equal to other people. Which is not a surprise, to consider Jakurai is a gifted genius and a hardworking learner in so many aspects, such as academics, fights, rapping, sports and all. He is also born in a world of war. He must have seen that there are things someone has to do to save people, that someone has to take responsibility or people will just… keep dying. Violence will keep occuring. And that’s why I’m not judging Jakurai’s god/savior complex, who knows what he has been through for all his life. (On a personal note, I can only say that I relate a portion of his experiences if not the most, as someone whose field of study is closely related to medicine. I had a strong savior complex myself back in past. It is honestly amazing to see a character go through it, I have so much sympathy and affection for him.)

After all of this, after 33 years of believing he has no value if he does not “serve” people— comes Ramuda Amemura.

Instead of “saving” him, Jakurai is instantly saved by Ramuda during a hypnosis microphone attack.

Instead of being superior to him, Jakurai learns rapping from him.

Despite having tons of experience about how things work in the human world— (such as knowing horror themed amusement parks, tea houses and all the other dates they have gone together), Jakurai never truly lives them until he goes to such places with Ramuda— theoretically, yes, Jakurai is aware of the existence of movie theatres, amusement parks, tea houses, waterfalls and various other places. He has probably visited them many times in his life.

But it is only with Ramuda that he feels comfortable enough to open up, be silly, do silly things, ask questions, be spontaneous and actually HAVE FUN. It is only because Ramuda is so bravely himself (or so Jakurai thinks, since he does not know Ramuda’s secrets at that point), never judging Jakurai, never expecting Jakurai to be Calm And Collected, instead giving him the absolute non-judgemental and affectionate place to be himself and learn what it means to live for yourself, to accept yourself as an ever learning person that is not necessarily perfect, and loving that way of him anyways. The fact that Ramuda himself is so inexperienced with life (it is literally the first or the second year of his life) and eagerly excited to just live adds up to their unique synergy and makes JakuRamu my most beloved, absolutely dear one true pairing in my heart.

I have analyzed Ramuda a lot, but I wanted to highlight Jakurai too. Jakurai found the space and courage around Ramuda to be himself and be accepted as himself without having to “serve Ramuda” as a superior being and that is extremely important. Amemura Ramuda is the only one in the entire series who can unapologetically bring up such a side in Jakurai— and they are truly fascinating and deserve to be together eventually.

#jakuramu #ramuda amemura #jakurai jinguji #amemura ramuda #jinguuji jakurai #hypmic #hypnosis mic #hypmic analysis #jakuramu analysis #tdd #kuujaku posse #the dirty dawg #fling posse #matenro #jakurai x ramuda #ramuda x jakurai #jakurai analysis #jakurai jinguji analysis #underrated #tonight before the bed

[devilishmango]

Can you share some facts about the ROs? (Kennesky)

Yes! It was very difficult to write these without spoiling anything... but here are some facts about the Kenneski ROs!😊

Hal- Comes from a long line of wealthy and influential families that have lived in Malcan [The capital of Oskain, which is the country the story takes place]. There are A LOT of politicians, members of the courts [like magistrates, judges], doctors and scholars- basically, his family rules like... half of Malcan. The only place they haven't gotten their greedy hands on is The Church! [Which basically belongs to Neph's father.] He has a lot of living family members, including his parents, and his younger brother and older sister- but he isn't close to any of them. He was actually in school, about to become a doctor, when some plot-related things happened to him, which caused him to drop out.

Neph- The only living family member of hers is her father, the High Priest of The Church. She was very sheltered growing up, never able to leave her home- basically, the only social interactions she ever got were when her father decided to visit her, which was not often. Otherwise, she was studying to become a magister, like her father wanted. When she was finally able to leave the home and start her role as a magister, she specifically asked to be put in Kenneski, despite her father's warning that it was a very dangerous place. Surprisingly, he let her go with only a little bit of reluctance... 👀

Roman- Comes from a small village at the base of Mount Kenneski, named Folen. It's a tiny community, and everyone there loves and respects Roman a lot. Except for his parents, of course, who wanted him to take over the family butcher business. He never liked killing things, despite his father's insistence that he get over it. A lot of his family has passed away, but he has his parents, along with his younger sister. [Who he loves very much.] He sends a big portion of the money he earns to his parents, but keeps a small amount hidden away, and is saving up money to send to his sister once she's old enough to move out of the house.

Sazora- Was born in a neighboring country named Ramoth. Her father brought her and her mom to Oskain, to a big city named Evandore, and then abandoned them. Zo's mother died when she was young, like 7 or 8, and left her with nothing... no house, no money, no way to get by. She was found by the [previous] leader of the Fulgur clan, which is a guild of thieves. She grew up learning how to steal, pickpocket, and get away from the scene of a crime. The [current] leader of the Fulgur clan sent her on the mission that got her captured by the Kenneski guards. There is a plot-related reason she got caught, though. 👀

Ok... that's all for now. I could literally go on and on talking about the ROs, but I feel like I've said enough already. 😂

#devi speaks #kenneski

[scotianostra]

Happy Birthday Scottish actress Georgie Glen.

Georgie was born in Helensburgh on April 20th 1956 and as a child had little interest in appearing in school plays. She studied graphic design at Glasgow School of Art and moved to London in her mid-twenties to design book covers for the Thames and Hudson publishing house. Looking for other interests she joined Floodlight Council, an organization set up to bring out adult’s artistic skills and then became part of the Questors Theatre Company in Ealing, West London. Here she met the late Alan Rickman - who, like Georgie, had a background in design before treading the boards - and he encouraged her to follow her acting ambitions. As a result she enrolled at the Bristol Old Vic drama school and on graduating had her first job at the Wolsey Theatre in Ipswich.

Even then she felt, somewhat modestly, that she did not have the looks for a leading lady but ever since her television debut in 1988 she has been a reliable supporting player in virtually every type of show from sketch comedy to period drama, notably in a recurring role as doughty Sergeant Jennifer Nokes in Heartbeat and the liberal, kindly teacher head of History, Audrey in'Waterloo Road - filmed in her native Scotland.

Indeed she may be said to be one of the first ladies of character acting and though her film roles have again always been in support of bigger names she has proved herself to be a scene- stealer par excellence, as one of the more enthusiastic in Calendar girls alongside Helen Mirren and Julie Walters.

As I said earlier she has been in every type of show, to name a few we have comedy roles in Harry Enfield and Friends, Alas Smith & Jones and Little Britain, drama series and films are two many to mention them all but there are dozens, the pick of them include Taggart, of course, Peak Practice, Doctor Findlay, Mrs Brown, Shakespeare in Love, Silent Witness, and I think a lot of you will maybe “say” oh yes, when I tell you that she was the Judge in The Victim in 2019, an excellent four part series set in Scotland also starring John Hannah and Kelly McDonald. Oh and she was Denise in the brilliant Channel four show Damned!

Georgie seems as busy as ever with a new series of Call the Midwife due out soon, and the popular Children’s BBC show Hetty Feather, she has also been a regular in The Crown as Ruth Lady Fermoy in four episodes last year as well as that she has been in the BBC sitcom The Cleaner along with some great actors, Greg Davies, Helena Bonham Carter and David Mitchell. At the moment she is filming the latest episodes of Call Midwife.

#scottish #scotland #actress. #theatre #television #cinema #happy birhtday