#Though if I've influenced you to be kind to someone then should I be mad?

[enby-hawke]

Omfg my roommate and wife keep calling me a Tumblr influencer for using my following to help my friend.

Lmaaaaao I'm going to murder them and eat their livers to consume their souls

#Please don't do this to me lmao #I'm just trying to help my friend #Try to do a good thing #I'm not a fucking influencer whatever that means #Though if I've influenced you to be kind to someone then should I be mad? #Idk don't call me that I'll murder you too #Wife and roommate on the hit list #Better watch out I'm going to use their heads as target practice if they keep teasing me

[mrhowells]

Smallville 5x06

"How you ever had a crush on Richie Cunningham, I will never understand."

I'm actually so easy to please

"And Lois... *laughs* I'd do anything to get rid of Lois."

but thinking about how annoying she is makes him laugh, soooooo... she's a good influence, I rest my case😌😌

Jonathan knows too, like-

Chloe & Lois as an investigative duo are actually really fun

Lex really lives in Jonathan's head rent free💀💀

ohmygoooooddd

MOTHER.

"She's here to dance."

Chloe really threw Lois under the bus like that I'm cryingsjakjsha

the struggle is real💀

SOOOOO let's see if Jonathan actually apologizes when it turns out Lex didn't do anything

CLARKFNKLJFDISLYS

COVER YOUR EYES SWEET SUMMER CHILD

Lois x bisexual lighting I LIVEEEE

they did that for me😭😌

"I'll have a coke😇" ... "S- straight up, on the rocks.😤"

JAkhsshfdlskaBOOBOO WHAT ARE YOU-

I just choked on my ice cream

LMAOOOOOO bless his heart

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL PART 2 I'M CRYINDHSGFJFKD

I'm really not ready for what's about to go down here😭😭

🎶DON'T YOU WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKEEE MEEEEEEE🎶

Someone needs to go to jail for that music choice💀💀

TOM WELLING YOUR FACE JOURNEYS. LET ME SAY THANK YOU KING🙇‍♀️

this is history in the making. absolutely iconic.

🎶DON'T YOU WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS WRONG LIKE MEEEEEE🎶🎶

i do wish she was my girlfriend actually they're so right

aaand she's getting into it

ON MY FUCKING KNEES FOR HER MA'AM YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE PLEASEEEE

he's kind of giving me:

PLEASEWSWKRJWOPQP

EVERY SINGLE FRAME OF THIS IS SO FUCKING ICONIC LIKE WHAT DO I EVEN SAY??

it's okay bb, we're all looking respectfully right now

💀💀💀THE STRUGGLE IS REAL PT.3

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP THIS BEAN

kshadjwka his fight or flight is kicking in😭😭

"What are you doing here?" "What are YOU doing here?"

story of their life fr

the struggle has never been more real, pray for Clark💀

.

they did that.

smallville writers really did that.

legend behaviour if you ask me

i would like to take this moment and say thank you.

"I've never been in a position where people look up to me."

This is such a silly statement, Jonathan is literally the person Clark looks up to the most. His bigger personality flaws clearly come from Jonathan's influence💀 (not to say he didn't also learn a lot of good traits from him -he absolutely did- but you know)

I'm really curious what Lex's (and Jonathan's) politics are actually, don't be shy writers tell me👀

SIR I NEED YOU TO STEP AWAY FROM MY WIFE IMMEDIATELY

creepy mf

"Hey 007. Nice of you to show up." "I'll start assuming that means thank you?"

giggling kicking my feet

"I can't touch him." "Well, I can."

I'VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN, MOTHERRRR

pls his face😭

he knows he could never be as cool as her

THIS SHOT MAKES ME FERAL

my parents🥹

(listen the shit i went through to upload this last picture tho, i hit the upload limit and had to delete stuff, then i accidentally deleted the whole post for a second🤡 my whole life flashed before my eyes💀💀)

Lex talking about a guy falling in love with his best friend's wife uh oh, no thank youuuuu😬😬

He was making a good point though.

"The thing I always try to remember is, no matter how much le lays on, he never expects more than he expects from himself."

Clark really grew up didn't he😭😭

"What are you doing, you just moved back in."

from the guy who said "I'd do anything to get of Lois." at the beginning of the episode, what in the clownery🤡🤡

All men do is lie.

she's such a menace, I LOVE HER😭😭

AND HE CAN'T STAY MAD AT HER LOOK AT HIS FACEEEEE

they're secret bffs your honor😭

I LOVE THEMMM IT'S ACTUALLY SO SERIOUS

"And you didn't have to come after me but you always do. So I wanted to say thank you. You're a really good friend."

GOING INSANE ON THIS SATURDAY NIGHT

CUT IT OUT YOU ASSHOLES I'M TRYING TO STAY NORMAL UNTIL SEASON 8 QUIT EYE FUCKINGZFGDUWEOAK

well. stay normal challenge failed again but that's exactly how i thought this would go, sooo

Question for the people: should i even tag Lex in posts like this? I don't think twice about tagging characters like Jonathan because I don't expect fans to look through his tag for him specifically, but i know people do it with Lex and I feel bad at the thought of them having to scroll through me losing my mind over Clois with a few Lex mentions in between. Lex fans lemme know

#smallville #5x06 #clark kent #lois lane #clois #jonathan kent #chloe sullivan #ellie's smallville thoughts #lex luthor

[luna-loner]

So, you mentioned how you can create an interesting dynamic with every possible combination within the B5. To prove this, I challenge you to describe (doesnt have to be long, maybe just the vibes) what every combination (there are 10 combos) would be like!

Hohoho, challenge accepted! And I know you said it doesn’t have to be long but, erm...I couldn’t help myself okay? It was supposed to be a simple dynamcs list, but then I went and added some bits and pieces of character analysis.

So without further ado, here are ten B5 dynamics, ranked in no particular order!

1. Gakushuu and Seo

Simply put, these two ground the other when needed. Seo's (later on in the series) not afraid of calling Gakushuu out; that sharp tongue of his is useful for giving his leader a much needed reality check. However, his tongue can be a little too sharp, which is why Gakushuu needs to rein him in every now and then like the good leader that he is. They basically act as the voice of reason for the other.

Other times however, they're not so mature. I've mentioned before how I hc they're karaoke rivals. In fact, I hc it was Seo who got Gakushuu into Karaoke in the first place (because no way would Mr. Eye-bags walk into a Karaoke bar on his own; that's too much precious study time wasted!) Look, these too are passionate about music. Do you know what happens when two hardcore music lovers clash? You get 4-6 hour Karaoke marathon. That's when the voice of reasons job is passed onto the remaining three virtuosos…or at least onto Ren and Araki. Koyama just continues enjoying the musical madness.

2. Seo and Araki

The opposites attract kind of besties. It started off as Araki lowkey worshipping Seo for living abroad, and while Seo loved the ego boost, he did later grow to genuinely enjoy the company. Behind Seo's tough guy act lays a massive superhero fan: Marvel, DC, Sonic Ninja, and maybe some good superhero manga, too; and it's Araki's own nerdiness that brings that side out. That said, Seo's a bad influence on Araki tbh. Prior to their meeting, Araki was your standard good boy— a true stickler to the rules, though he did secretly harbor some dark sentiments towards others, and it was Seo who brought it out by existing with the same radius as Araki. Who knew Seo was so inspirational?

3. Ren and Araki

These two just get along naturally. Their dynamic mirrors Yukiko and Okuda's—peaceful, if not a little formal. I hc these two had a similar upbringing, though Ren's was a little stricter. (I see the Sakakibaras having a slightly higher social status)

Since Araki's a trivia nerd and Ren's a literature lover, of course they'd bond over reading and overanalyzing books, usually romance. These two can talk books for hours, and if Seo or Gakushuu think it's stupid, someone should remind them how long their Karaoke battles usually lasts. They'll shut up real quick. They do this with dramas by the way.

And because I hc Araki to have a romantic side, he sometimes goes to Ren for love advice. Yes, I know a womanizer is not the right person to ask, but that's exactly why I said sometimes. It's not like Araki's planning on amassing his very own harem (He's monogamous, I swear!) he just wants to know how you ask a girl out, what's the right thing to say, How do you say it, is there something as too much cologne, what brand should he use, etc… He asks precise questions.

Still, it doesn't get him any bitches. Araki just doesn't have the cool vibes to pull off a Ren… poor Raki boy

4. Gakushuu, Ren, and Araki

This is what I call "The parent group" since it's comprised of the (mostly) mature members of the B5. Ren and Araki are pretty much Gakushuu's second-in-commands. It's not uncommon to find the three of the staying behind after school for some council work or A Class-related plan (Seo and Koyama don't attend as often either because they don't want to or aren't needed). Contrary to what Gakushuu thinks, he would’ve gone mad without these two by his each of his side. I hc these three were the earliest members of the B5 so they go way back. They have this special bond that Seo and Koyama just aren't apart of.

5. Araki, Seo, and Koyama

Presenting the Kids' group! Seo alone is a bad influence on Araki; add the chaos-loving gremlin into the mix and our trivia nerd has fallen to the dark side. I see Araki as someone easily influenced by the type of company he has—someone who goes with the flow. Sometimes, he's a responsible young man, other times he's stupid teenager.

Honestly, I don't think it's always a bad thing. Again, pre-Seo Araki was a good boy, maybe even too good. It's normal for a boy his age to unwind and partake in whatever stupid shit boys these days are into; you can't expect him to always act like an adult. The question is how far will this trio go before Gakushuu has to save their asses? 99% of the time it's Seo or Koyama's big mouths that gets them in trouble, and 80% of the time it's Seo finds himself as the adult when he realizes they may or may not have gone too far. He's not always stupid, okay? Koyama is hopeless so don't count on him to do anything other than enjoying the chaos.

6. Ren and Koyama

A surprisingly wholesome pair; when Koyama's around Ren, he goes from chaotic little shit to sweet little baby. Ren's the cool party guy and has always made sure to include Koyama in the fun. Ren also likes to sample Koyama's cooking. He's too nice to say no, and usually, it's good so there's no problem. When it's not so good, Ren's pretty gentle with his constructive criticism and Koyama takes it like it were the Holy Grail.  

They can also be goofy sometimes. Koyoma's photographic memory makes him remember most, if not all, of Ren's essays and poems, and he uses them in writing tests and assignments. Ren's flattered and it makes his day when koyama suddenly sprouts some of his poetry when the mood calls for it. Seriously, once they were trying to encourage Araki to ask a girl out and Koyama recited one of Ren's motivational poems and Ren just joined in. Seo suffered major second hand embarrassment that day…

7. Ren and Seo

Even Ren's patience has limits, and Gakushuu seems deadest on testing those limits with his overambitious nature. So what does a concerned friend do in this situation? He complains to Seo.

Araki's too nice and will just agree to everything Ren says, but he won't actually do anything else. Koyama, especially early on in the series, won't see the problem. Not only is Seo blunt and honest, but he also understands Ren's concern. They all can see past Gakushuu's BS, but only Seo is willing to be vocal about it, which validates Ren's concerns.

But these talks aren't just limited to Shuu, Ren usually goes to Seo for an honest opinion on anything, no matter how mundane. Sometimes, he likes having a debate and seeing a different perspective.

8. Seo and Koyama

Much like Ren, Seo's always made sure to include Koyama in the fun. He of all people knows the fear of being left out, so when Koyama came along, Seo felt like he gets this guy. Plus, more pals for him :D

These two are the resident trouble makers, plus they've got the sharpest tongues. They're like brothers, and Seo likes to think he's the cool big bro guiding his little bro Koyama through the ropes and all. So inspirational

But like any younger sibling, Koyama. Is. A. little. Shit! Remember how the Kids group gets in trouble and it's Seo who has to fix everything? That's 'cause Koyama would rather sit back and watch instead of lending his "big brother" a hand, even when the mess if his fault. You can bet Seo is not happy, yet for some reason, they continue hanging out. 🤔

 9. Koyama, Araki, and Ren

The book club which of the fantasy Wiz Natsu, Romance lover Teppei, and the supreme lord of literature himself, Ren! This is the byproduct of the aforementioned Ren-Araki friendship and they do more than reading and analyzing. You'd think that having two members of the parent group would keep the chaos to a minimum. Gakushuu sure did, but it turned out having Koyama was alone to summon the chaos. It was Koyama's bright idea to include cosplaying and acting out their favorite scenes. Araki's really passionate about getting the costumes just right, down the tiniest detail. Oh, and we can't forget about the snack.

The "club meeting" usually starts out as formal as a court hearing before gradually devolving into enthusiastic ramblings that consist of analysis, theories, squealing, and random poetry thrown around by Koyama and Ren.

10. Ren and Gakushuu

Originally, I wasn't going to include this since it's such a popular dynamic, but then again, why not include Candy's two boys? It's a canon friendship, but people ship them so much that the platonic aspect is HIGHLY underrated.

I believe Ren is crucial for Gakushuu's growth. The fact Ren can speak to him as an equal may be the reason why Shuu went from seeing the B5 as minions to seeing them as real friends. He could a taste of genuine friendship from Ren, which opened him more to the possibility of getting close to the other three as well. Essentially, Ren acted as the middleman between Gakushuu and the Virtuosos, whether he knew it or not. He just has this soothing affect on others.

What makes this friendship even greater is how much Ren and Gakushuu have some sort of family pressure and can relate to one another. Sure, Gakushuu's case is arguably worse, and I don't think Ren's parents actually bad, they just put a lot of emphasis on their image which can really annoy their son, but it's still comforting to know someone shares the same sort of struggle with you. It also helps with Gakushuu's growth because he then feels encouraged to Ren about some issues with his dad, which takes some weight off his chest.

#assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #big five #five virtuosos #asano gakushuu #gakushuu asano #sakakibara ren #ren sakakibara #seo tomoya #tomoya seo #araki teppei #teppei araki #koyama natsuhiko #natsuhiko koyama #headcanons #asks #bismuthwisdom

[omegasmileyface]

Vital tenets of media depicting space travel

it's big. everything is SO far apart. a lot of beloved space media doesn't give you any sense of vastness and desperate farness. desolation. i still love them, but its very important to me. if youre making a space journey, the distance should be mind-bogglingly farther than you can imagine, and uncomfortably long in waiting times. this can expand to other, less literal parts of your story. scales human minds can't easily comprehend.

things that are almost like home... almost. historically, i think of planets that looked suspiciously like SoCal and aliens that looked suspiciously like humans due to limitations in effects in film and TV, but today we see this more in ideas like parallel universes and convergent evolution. when you travel, you often come across something that reminds you of home, but with something a little off. these coniferous forests look like back in the rockies, except there are trees I've never seen before where the spruce and tamaracks should be. this culture has a "let's eat dinner together" tradition just like mine, but everyone is sitting on the floor. it's almost familiar enough to feel like you know what you're doing.

relating space travel to a historical parallel. i think if you were creative enough you could subvert this, and "reflect the past in the future" is a core idea of sci-fi in general, but like... Firefly works really well because it uses the moral values and story themes of Westerns, yeah? and you don't have to go all in like they did, but think to yourself "what were humans like in times of far travel and expansion? can i draw inspiration from Polynesian sailing culture? or Chinese train lines? would humans react to the back-and-forth shipments of resource ships more like they did to British commerce sailing or to USAmerican trucking?

number 3 above should help define your aesthetic. i am a strong believer that sci-fi aesthetics should have some thought behind them. dont just make things blue-and-white LEDs and sleek plastic Apple™core futurist because you can (or just because it's a nice shorthand for the imperial bourgeois, though that can absolutely be an influencing factor. because i agree). would touchscreens be practical or not on this ship? would things be dirty due to a rushed, uncaring labor culture, or clean due to strong health infrastructure, or somewhere in between because it's just home? is the equipment uniform because it's part of a single government program, or all over the place because everyone does it, or a mash-up of the two because there are strict tech requirements to make it work and it would fuck everything up if you deviated a little but you decorated on top of the necessities?

BE FUCKING WEIRD. space is weird. look if you want to get some kind of social commentary across or be lauded as Perfect you should probably follow everything i said above and also carefully think up a scientific system where everything you mention is consistent and you very carefully don't mention anything that wouldn't be consistent. if that's where you want to go, godspeed. i liked Ender's Game as much as the next youngest child with an abusive brother. BUT don't be afraid to be camp. break rules (my rules, others' standards of the genre, the laws of physics, your own previously-established rules) when it's fun. make things stupid and pretty for no reason. assign numbers to things that could never ever make sense. even the most serious of space travel stories do well with a scene or two where Someone Gets Space Madness or A Wormhole Appears And Everybody Gets Genderbent or We Need To Have An Alien Fashion Show To Afford Repairs or what have you

refuse to make up your mind on whether space is magic and gods are real or not

[screentime-princess]

Some thoughts on Titans (hbo max) now that show ended.

(In my head it's not over, bc I'm big on rewatching things so... anyways)

Okay. So first thing I want to make clear is that I'm super new to DC and stuff. I've seen arrowverse, most of it, and some movies, also I really like and care about these characters even though show isn't the best, as I hear everyone say and I kinda agree. But still I like the show!!!

Another thing is that I've seen a lot of people hate on this show and I get that it's not the best show, like writing is sometimes very iffy but I think that it's a good introduction to these characters for someone who has never seen anything or read the comics or stuff like that.

Next one is that I am one season short of finishing Gotham and then I plan on watching DC Animated Universe. So I guess my opinions from this post, might change in the future.

So yeah. Here it goes.

I liked the way first season focused on characters and not so much story even though the bigger story was always it like in the back of the episode(s). But I really enjoyed the fact that it was focused mainly on characters of Dick, Hank. Dawn etc. Who they are as people and how what happened to them is influencing their actions. I really liked every character introduction fr.

Even though I watched the show in like few weeks and then waited for last few episodes to come out week by week, I feel like they should have made Dick and Kory cannon or whatever way sooner. They did, kinda, in those dreams/hallucinations, but still, as much as I like this little kind of open ending, I feel like they have so much chemistry, and it just should've happened sooner. When they were in Gotham that Barbara again storyline, I don't know. That wasn't my cup of tea. Also, the flashback episode with Aqualad in season 2, why introduce a character to be killed?! Give us something else than a cute little love story between Donna and Garth and then pain. I don't know. It was so sudden and I don't like character deaths just for the sake of story line.

One thing I did really like was Gar and Rachel, from the beginning from their first meet-cute in the arcade. It was so freaking cute. The fact that they are different, special, that mutual understanding and acceptance ugh. I don't know why we didn't get that like cannon confirmation that they are a thing. We got all those like little cute scenes of them sitting together and stuff but I don't know, I just needed something real just as for Dick and Kory.

As for other characters, I really liked everyone. Conner's little split good and evil personas. Dawn is the most gentle soul I love her so much. Hank was annoying at moments but he was fine. Donna is the beauty, she is grace. <Tim3 (that's how I feel about him). (And I rant about Jason later, wait for it). I don't know what to say like, I really really liked everyone.

Now, maybe I do a separate post about season 4 because it's the, you know, the freshest one in my head but I did rewatch some of the episodes so idk.

As I'm writing this, I see that it's not all like in chronological order as the seasons progress, but I hope you get the gist of it. I wanted to say that I cannot imagine in my head waiting entire week for the episode about Connor after Jason gets dropped off a building even though I knew that's not how he dies fr, I was scared shitless, like, I love him so much, I don't know. Also that fucking scene on the roof killed me, like it seriously messed me up and no one ever talked about it ever again (him being suicidal). Also Dick going of alone every chance he gets to do stupid shit that would 100% get him killed (babe have you heard of therapy, no?).

The thing that bothered me the most, throughout the entire show is how only Gar seemed to care about others. He was the only one to care about anyone. Only one who gave a fuck when Jason died. Like when Kory was mad @ Jason for "getting himself killed"<<<< (what?). He was the only one that was trying to find out what happened to Jason and how he came back. And he did find out (Go Gar).

I know now that that is most likely because of his connection to all the things dead and living, but they explained it very late in the show, so for someone who has no background knowledge, it was confusing.

Major thing that bothers me -> Why is everyone hating on... Literally everyone. Like these people, actors and actresses did in my opinion, amazing job. Considering the writing, okay?

Like let's be fucking for real. This is the first live action adaptation of these characters. And it could have been so much worse. Let's be honest. It could have been so.much.worse. But it's fine and I think that if people are just okay, with something being different, it would have been fine. Like it doesn't have to be the same as in comics. And from what I heard, there are many interpretations of these characters in different comics and different animated series. I don't understand why everything has to be by the book. Like I've been a MCU fan for a while. And l feel like as much as Marvel fans are like haters at the bottom of their souls (not as much as Star Wars fans) and they are (haters), I feel like they appreciate change a little more. (Haters comment is about fanboys don't get ne wrong babes)

It's fine that it's different. Different is okay. Most of hate I've seen is about Jason. And I don't know, like, people calling him a whining c word?!?!?!? Sorry, why is it bad that he's portrayed with more emotions? Or him feeling like he is not good enough (relatable) and always being second thought would bring anyone to tears (it brought me to tears). So why is that a bad thing in portrayal of this character? Like I said, I know very little about his character and I feel like this introduction is fine, it made me care about him. Isn't that what other people in the fandom want? For other people to care. Why does it have to be a specific version? It made me care. That should be enough no? It made me want to learn more about these characters. So why is everyone so offended by this version of Jason Todd? It doesn't make any sense in my head. I was literally losing my shit watching episode 11 of season 4. Last week was peek of my existence because of him showing up again. I have no words.

So yeah, I don't know. I have so many thoughts about this show and no one to talk to because my friends are lame, not watching the same shows I'm watching, watching Bridgerton and shit (no hate to Bridgerton fans).

<3 if you read it all, thank you <3

#titans hbo #dc titans #thoughts #titans season 4 #titans season 4 spoilers #titans spoilers #dick grayson #hank hall #dawn granger #donna troy #rachel roth #gar logan #jason todd #tim drake #nightwing #batman and robin #raven titans #beast boy #hawk and dove #kory anders #starfire #anna diop #brenton thwaites #teagan croft #ryan potter #curran walters #save titans #dcu titans #dcu

[canadian-riddler]

generally I think you're a cool person

not in a cool-cool way but in a cool-chill way

I mean cool-cool as well but that's not the point

what I actually mean is... that you appear calm most of the time

it might be because I mostly get an impression of you from texts and posts, but I doubt that it's far from the truth

also, you always have your own opinion — and you're not afraid to tell it, even if it may sound harsh

not to mention your dedication to characters and things you like which I find aspiring

and, of course, you're a great writer — it is always a delight to read your new works and revisit old ones

even after all this time your profile and your entire presence became some sort of comfort zone for me which is not that easy to achieve

maybe it's not really informative or something you didn't hear before but yeah, I think of you as a good and cool person

no matter what happens, no matter how much time passes, I will always visit your blog

it actually... is kind of far from the truth. I'll talk a little bit about why.

when I was younger, my mom was... let's say there was a lot of pressure to behave. to not rock the boat. I'm the oldest of five so I also felt this need to be the best. the best behaved. the best example of how the other kids should be. some of this was in my head probably, but my mom also said to me once, 'What doesn't work on you I don't do on them'. so maybe it wasn't in my head and I just don't remember what influenced me to act that way.

so in my head I'm actually stressing about stuff all the time. there are posts I have a lot of anxiety about making and this is actually due in part to an incident a few years ago where someone tried to cancel me. so in my head I'm always worried about my posts ending up as receipts if anyone ever tries to do it again. I've also had a lot of people vaguepost about me or come at me in my DMs or trash me in group chats and it's just. exhausting to have to think about the potential for that happening every time I consider making a post that's even mildly controversial. but at the same time I know I say some stuff that other people are afraid to say and that they really need to know that someone else is thinking it too and while it does stress me out sometimes, it helps to hear that other people find it helpful when I do it. in my real life I don't speak up a lot of the time. sometimes it's about waiting something out, sometimes it's about not wanting to rock the boat. the way I was raised contributed to me getting mad anxiety about 'bothering' other people. but I'm also very lucky in that in my job I am surrounded by great people who really care about me and treat me really well (though I will still mostly wait for them to volunteer things rather than ask for them, just in case)

and honestly... Tumblr doesn't need to hear that from me. Tumblr doesn't need yet another person talking about how stressful and anxiety-inducing life and other people can be, especially not from someone my age. people on Tumblr need to hear that things get better and that you can work past your issues and that you really will be okay. that good things will happen to you even when you think they won't. that you really can be someone who holds it together and does so on purpose when you grow up. that you CAN know what you're doing in your life and be confident in doing so. that's the kind of person I would rather be to you guys. or even just the kind of person you think I am. I actually worry a lot about coming off as pretentious or condescending or whatever. but there's only so much you can do when someone chooses to see you in a certain light and I try to keep that in mind.

thank you very much and I hope I will always continue to earn such a high opinion from people like you.

#so says Indy #asks #anon #compliments #hella compliments

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

no tws, looking for reassurance + advice

I have NPD and I recently fucked up in a friendship partially because of that. Because of a combination of that and my extreme avoidance issues and me being bad at communicating I ended up causing a situation that hurt both me and the other person involved. I never meant to make them feel the way I did and I've apologized and taken accountability for it, and we're working through it, but I just. Don't know what to do about it on a personal level. I feel really bad about it in not exactly a guilt way but some kind of Bad and it's upsetting me. Even though I didn't communicate like I should have in the first place and that's what caused the situation, I did everything right afterwards to try to fix it/make it better. I feel like a bad person for fucking up even by accident though. And I don't know exactly what I'm feeling or why I'm still feeling it. The person isn't mad at me, though there are still some hurt feelings and problems to work through. Overall it turned out about as well as it could have, but I still feel panicky and gross. I know I should just feel my feelings instead of trying to get rid of them, but I don't like this and I want to stop feeling it and I want to stop thinking about the conflict as much as possible because it freaks me out. Anyways. Yeah. I'm not sure what to do about any of it and I just want to run away from the whole thing again, but that's part of what caused the problem in the first place

Hi anon,

It sounds like you might be dealing with impostor syndrome or something adjacent, where perhaps you feel like you're a bad person despite your attempts to rectify the situation. I'm curious if you think the stigma around having NPD fuels this feeling.

This is a great page about Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy's concept of Irrational Ideas. It's essentially a list of harmful thoughts followed by a bullet list of affirmations that help dispel that thought. I'd like you to read the bullet points under Irrational Idea No. 3. I'll share a few of them here (keep in mind a lot of these were written out in the 60s so it may not use the more inclusive language we have today):

Human beings are not perfect. They don’t have total control over all their actions. In the real world, we all make mistakes from time to time and treat others badly because (1) we don’t know any better; (2) we can’t do any better; or (3) we’re too disturbed. That’s just the way we are. Believing that others must do the right thing ignores the real world. Blaming and punishing someone for a mistake he makes because he doesn’t know any better will not make him smarter.

Blaming and punishing someone for a mistake he makes because he can’t do any better won’t help him to do it better next time. And blaming and punishing someone for a mistake he makes because he is disturbed won’t make him any less disturbed.

We all do lots of things everyday. Some of the things we do are “bad,” some are “good,” and some are neither “good” nor “bad.” The “bad” things we do don’t make us “bad people;” and the “good” things we do don’t make us “good people.”

From time to time it will be you who acts badly, selfishly or unfairly. Just like everyone else, there will be times when you make mistakes because you don’t know any better, can’t do any better or are disturbed. When it happens, you can tell yourself, “Oh well, that’s life! I guess I’m as human as everyone else. I’ll try not to do it again, but there are no guarantees.”

If you can access or afford it, I think a therapist could be a great option for a longer-term kind of help for navigating these issues and gaining a closer insight into your own behaviors or how your NPD influences them. They can also help you process your feelings of guilt around what happened recently with your friend.

If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks

[theserpentsadvocate]

this is completely not related to your actual questions about Veronica Mars but the reason that marijuana is (1. a Schedule One drug (2. called ‘marijuana’ and not cannabis or hemp (which it was called in the early 20th century for a while, before being criminalized) is because of racism. Mexican immigrants especially were fond of smoking marijuana, and initially the idea was that if smoking it was made illegal they’d just move somewhere else. Propaganda called it by its Spanish name rather than the English ones to make it sound more exotic. Then there was a moral panic launched about how marijuana made white women sexually lascivious and likely to seek out interracial sexual encounters, because of course there was. That caused a massive public outcry leading to the criminalization of the drug based on paranoid fearmongering.

All this is relevant because since marijuana became Schedule One, all research on its effects and impacts became illegal. People on some level did fear it and consider it very dangerous, and since they weren’t able to do more research no one could confirm or deny anything until recently. Fun times down here!

I did know some of the broad strokes of this (that cannabis was all fine and dandy until it was associated with Mexican immigrants and became marijuana, oh no). I didn't know that it was part of a concerted effort to make them leave, though, wow - just that the demonization of pot was heavily influenced by racism.

I'm also surprised-but-not-surprised about the 'it encourages interracial sex' thing, because that's insane and I didn't know that, but also. Of course they said that. And it sounds very Reefer Madness, which is also unsurprising. (Also, don't be so sure it's not VM-related. The historical idea I have is very ambitious and I don't know if I can pull it off, so I'm mostly focussing on the projects I've already started, but I wouldn't have thought to look into this further and it might actually be very relevant. So thank you an extra amount!)

It's just truly insane to me that freaking marijuana is worse legally than crystal meth. It's been legal here for years (pot, not meth :D), and even then it was kind of no big deal; to my knowledge the general attitude when that happened was 'oh yeah, we should do that, huh', and then we all moved on. Intellectually I know that the United States is just Like That TM and at this point it's not even about what the actual people there think so much as gerrymandering and the entrenchedness of bad polical systems, but... having to stare it right in the face is always so surreal. (Meth!!!! Worse than meth!!!! Does this mean the Weeds lady was doing worse crime than the Breaking Bad guy? I never saw either of those shows, so I don't know, but wow.)

Anyway, I love hearing stuff like this - interesting tidbits, not racism - and I'm so thrilled whenever someone wants to engage with my posts in such a substantive way, so if you have anything else interesting you want to share, I am so here for it!

(And thank you!)

#i dunno this is hard to tag #lovely asks #god it's been a long time since i got to use that tag #:) :) :) #we stand on guard for thee #(this is not me saying my country doesn't have problems - there are problems #there are probably problems i don't know about #but america is just. a trip. that entire country makes me feel like i'm on drugs #ironically enough) #veronica mars #...kind of? #this way i can find it again anyway

[fatherhoodstory]

more time...

I've been writing this thing for the better part of ten years now. Stories of being a father, mis-adventures, love stories, loss, gain, a lot of it is in here, most just hinted at. It's been a shit-storm for sure, a decades long shit-storm of which I never intended to find myself. Who ever does though, knowingly? It comes like a sunny day, full of promise and you put on shorts and head out and feel good and all is right in the world. Then the clouds gather and the wind blows and before you know it you're hypothermic and huddled under a tree waiting for the lightening strike or falling cottonwood limb that will take your life. That's kind of how it is has been and the effect of it has left me wounded, like a veteran of war, sitting back against the wall always poised for some attack that may never come. No matter how much you think you might know or prepare, there is always something in life that catches you off guard and you have to wade through it the best you can. Cancer for instance, my sister with a life full of dreams and hopes that were suddenly put aside and survival became the only goal. I have lost so much already; my sister, great loves, money, time, huge parts of myself that I struggle to remember or maintain and here I am still writing in the early morning with a cup of coffee and a stack of books and little wood shavings stuck to my socks and loud trucks going by and music on the radio and the fire beating back the cold. So much has changed and also so very little it feels extremely slow and too fast all at the same time, like I could simply reach out through an open window and touch that place where it all began.

I won more time with my daughter but winning doesn't sound like the right word at all. I pulled, yanked, and wrestled with one foot braced against the wall like a dentist struggling to extract an abscessed and rotten tooth that has been allowed to stay too long in what should otherwise be a healthy, beautiful smile. It feels like I am winning my freedom, my anonymity, to be the parent I wanted to be from the start, albeit still slowly. There's a healing process after such a long and painful extraction, a time you can eat only pudding and soft cold things, before the meat and wine are allowed again. That's kind of where we are, in the beginning and I am treading lightly so as not to fall back into some trap I did not see. I'll never get back those years of pain and struggle, those are gone, and it feels strangely like I accomplished something monumental by just surviving.

I have friends that are in similar positions, against women who are far more vindictive and adamant they never see or have influence over their children. It makes me so mad to think that people do this to their children simply because they dislike or disagree with the other parent. Everyone suffers and only the system benefits. I could rant for days about it but this was not what this was supposed to be about. There may be a time for that, a space where I lay out the problems clearly for those who might find themselves in a similar situation. I heard it said somewhere early on that you never fully know or understand someone until you are sitting across from them in court. All the proclamations of love and promises of this and that forever all mean next to nothing as you sit with your mouth open in horror as some old man in a black robe tells you when and how often you will see your child and how much you have to pay for that privilege.

I wanted to sail, to travel, to run around and be free all these years. I had an idea of how it was going to be and then was forced to choose between that idea for myself and the reality of well-worn paths that were comfortable for another. And here it is now my yellow house surrounded by sunflowers and wood chips, like a boat navigating this strange sea I find myself still. I would have never lived in this town and still leave whenever I can. I try hard not to let it get to me. The loud trucks with oversized pipes blowing smoke as they speed up and down the street like savages. The youth and the privilege of growing up rich and white in million dollar houses with expensive cars and everything they ask for. But I digress.

There is love, always, and I sit here and read and try to write as was written to me in a notebook once to never stop doing. In the cabin, surrounded by stars and woods and mountains I had a dream not long ago and I was told that I would write myself out of this. That in the end of it the words would free me and I could live as I had always wanted. I don't know exactly what it meant but I have an idea and so I write and write as if the key is there somewhere in the words and the door will open one day to the love that I experienced so long ago when the sun was shining and you were young and we threw flowers in the street and laughed and that was it. Maybe that's all there is anyway, glimpses here and there between the sweat and tears where we sit and admire the life we have and the sunset and the wine and food with friends and loved ones. It feels within reach after all these years of struggle though, where those moments are more than the weight of the ones that have been. It's hard to let that go, to step out and see that things are not all that bad and what you've created despite all the pain and suffering and chaos is beautiful and filled with love and art and wildness at it's edges that hold the dreams that once were and will come again. The summer in Italy, the trees full and the heat intense, the river rushing blue and clean to the valley below and nothing but a road ahead and time and love. It all has to end, sometime, for everyone. Youth, summer, but it continues still, despite you or us or war or death or pain. It is there and once you were there and you can remember it and carry it with you and that means something.

And so, it continues, and there will be bikes and mountains and time spent together there, more time now, more freedom until it all explodes like a supernova and we go our own ways into the rest of this life with memories full of love and adventure and take what we have learned and spread it around like soft butter on warm sourdough bread just out of the oven. Cracks will be mended, time will heal and life will move on as it always has and I will keep writing and remember and hold you close until I can hold on no longer and then I will let go.

The words will remain, somewhere, like Salter said "There comes a time when you realize that everything is a dream, and only those things preserved in writing have any possibility of being real"

[sublimecatgalaxy]

Pretty Girl

Pairing: Cassie Howard x Reader

Summary: Cassie's closeted with a girlfriend. I think that's all I need to say.

Song: "Prom Queen" by Beach Bunny

Warnings: Angst, mentions of sex, happy ending.

A/n: Hi guys! I've had a few people ask me to write literally anything about Cassie so I wrote a very neutral fic that kind of steered away from any of her problem child actions. love yall!

It was safe to say that Cassie didn't want anyone to know that she had a girlfriend. Well, at least that's how it felt. She wasn't ashamed of me, just kind of hesitant to tell people that, after her years of dating men, she met a woman that made her whole world stop.

Me.

I was proud to be this girl for her, the one that made her realize that she felt differently than she did before. It definitely came as a surprise, meeting her at one of the parties at McKay's house a few years ago. And it was a bit unfortunate that we met while she was dating the jock.

They had a lot of issues. Issues that I would hear about quite frequently, in fact, every night. She'd call me, crying, angry, happy. Every emotion that one person could feel, McKay made her feel. I would hear about their dates, their sex life, their fights and their make ups.

Until one night, she just decided to be done. She seemed okay, but she finally texted me after two weeks of radio silence. She told me that, apparently, they had been broken up for about a month but she didn't know how to tell me one of the reasons that they actually split.

Then her feelings for me came out.

I was pretty shocked to say the least. She had known that I liked women for a long time, more than men. In fact, way more than men. I don't know, maybe I appreciated a woman more and felt safer with one. Cassie was wreckless though so I don't think that I could apply that logic to her. But she was my best friend. I had always loved her even though it seemed a bit stereotypical.

She didn't want to tell anyone. She didn't want any of her ex-boyfriends finding out, her sister, her mom. She wanted me to be her secret and she wanted me to be okay with it. And I was.

At first.

The first time it really struck me as hurtful was at a party when a guy asked her to dance. She looked back at me nervously, almost asking for permission. First of all, you should need zero permission to dance with someone. But she was dating me but god forbid she said she was taken. Second, she was so terrified to make up some lie to get out of dancing with him, afraid that she would make it seem like she was there with me.

The second time was when we almost got caught making out in her very non-private room by Lexi. I knew in my heart that Lexi Howard was no snitch. She would always tell me about how much of a good influence I was on her sister and I think she would be nothing but supportive. But Cassie was sure on the fact that Lexi would be a 'nosy whore'.

Her words.

So we went on, dating, being happy in secrecy. Until we weren't.

She was pretty adamant about making out with me. I mean, Cassie always got what she wanted so who was I to complain? Except this was at a party, a public party. So she had to pull me into a room, locking the door quickly before she placed her delicate lips on mine.

I kind of got turned off to the whole secrecy thing then.

I wanted her to want to kiss me in front of everyone and to not give one single shit.

I snapped and quite literally walked out. And walked home.

I wasn't mad at her, I understood that it was hard to come out, hard to tell people. I didn't really need to due to the fact that everyone around me knew I liked women. I was just obvious, I guess. And Cassie wasn't. It was hard for her as it was to convey normal emotions, let alone something of this capacity. This was a big thing and I understood it took time.

But it hurts. It hurts having to keep yourself away from the person you love, to pretend not to be yourself. To stay at arms length just incase someone got the wrong idea. I just wanted to love the crazy blonde. And I knew she loved me, she just had a funny way of showing it.

From Cass <3: baby, i'm sorry. can i come over so we can talk?

I stare at the text with a huff, my head falling back against my pillow as I contemplate my response. I didn't want to give in, I wanted her to know she hurt me. But that wasn't very mature of me, was it? Fuck.

Before I can reply, my phone buzzes again. Twice.

From Cass <3: I'm at your door.

Answer the door.

Giggling softly at her antics, my eyes rolling as I throw myself out of bed. Like I said, she gets what she wants whether I like it or not. I knew that I had to confront her. I didn't want to lose her, fuck no. I'd be her secret forever if it meant that I could be with her, hold her, kiss her. I would suffer through anything to be hers. Including suffering through a painful conversation like the one that's about to follow.

Making my way downstairs, I unlock the door with a sigh, prying the wood open to look at my girlfriend. She pouts softly, her curls framing her face as she clutches her phone to her chest.

"Hi baby." She whispers, tilting her head at me with a soft smile as I break. She knew just what to say to have me opening the door, didn't she? She steps into the house silently, her shoes being kicked off at the door as she waits politely. "Is your family home?" She asks curiously, her eyebrows ticking up as she points upstairs. I give her a small shake of my head, a beautiful smile spreading out across her lips as she nods. "Can we talk about what happened at the party?" She asks quietly, stepping towards me as I sigh, my eyes fluttering down to the ground. "Cuz, I'm gonna be honest, I've been freaking out and worrying that you were gonna dump me." She lets out a nervous laugh and I watch as tears quickly fill her eyes. She keeps up a polite facade, a small trembling smile on her lips as she waits.

"I'm not gonna break up with you, Cass, never." I whisper, my hands prying her hands away from her chest as she lets out an anxious breath, her whole body relaxing. "But yeah, we should probably talk, huh?" I offer gently, my fingers reaching up to brush some hair from her face as she blushes in the low light. She nods gently, her body inching towards mine.

"Can I have a kiss first, though?" She asks meekly, my hand cupping her cheeks with a silly smile, my lips pressing against hers in a soft, delicate kiss. She hums happily, a small sigh of relief passing her lips as I pull away. I take her hand in mine gently, knowing that I could never stay mad at her. But that doesn't mean we didn't have to talk.

I lead her upstairs silently, her hand shaking in mine as I pull her into my room, her body relaxing at the familiar environment. She carried so much anxiety in her body whenever she was worried. You could tell by the fake smile and squared shoulders whenever she was upset about something significant.

She sits down on my bed, pulling her favorite blanket over her lap as she watches me. "You don't gotta worry, bub, I'm not mad." I whisper, sitting down in front of her to take her hands in mine.

"I know you're upset, though. We've been dating for nine months and six days and no one knows about us." She whispers, validating an inner part of me as I send her a small, sheepish nod. The fact that she's so specific with the number of days we've been dating makes me want to cry. "I'm sorry that I made you feel like I was hiding you. I'm not trying to do it deliberately..." She trails off, my hand waving her concerns off as I'm already familiar with her fear.

"I know you're afraid Cassie. It's okay. You're allowed to be scared. You've never been asked to deal with something like this. It's heavy." I whisper, my fingers gently rubbing circles on the inside of her wrist as she huffs.

"I want to tell people though. I want to feel confident enough to kiss you in front of people, to tell my best friend. I just think that they would ask so many questions and bug you and never leave us alone." She whispers breathlessly as my attention shifts a bit.

"Wait, so you're not worried about the fact that you'd tell everyone that you like women. You're just afraid that they would never leave us alone?" I giggle quietly, her head bobbing as she rolls her eyes playfully.

"I mean, of course I'm worried about telling people I like women. I don't really have a label yet- I'm not really trying to find one. Which seems like the opposite of me, I know." She shakes her head with a laugh, her hair falling in her face as I watch her in awe. "I think that, like, someone like Lex or my mom, they've known us as best friends. Things will change if I tell them. Like my mom would be weird about us having sleepovers. I don't want things to change. I don't want people to ask questions. If I could just snap my fingers and have everyone know without the initial shock, I would just do it." She explains, a soft smile on her lips as she huffs.

"It's okay that you want to be private, Cass. If you would've told me that, we wouldn't be having this conversation." I giggle, reaching over to shove her as she rolls her eyes with a shrug.

"I just- I don't know how to make you feel appreciated while also, like, maintaining our privacy." She whispers, her fingers toying with mine as I grin naughtily, her eyebrows raising at my sudden mood change.

"Come here." I whisper, pulling her off the bed as she squeals, my hands pulling her into my bathroom. I keep the light off, taking her phone from her as I go into snapchat. "I know exactly how to do that while also driving people crazy." I giggle, watching as her eyes light up in the dark room.

"Really?" She asks, my hand reaching out to rest on her hip as I pull her to me, a small gasp escaping her lips. I turn her around so she's facing the mirror, my hands around her waist as I rest my chin on her shoulder. Holding the phone in front of my face with the flash on, the light shines out throughout the room as I chuckle quietly. Cassie quickly turns in my arms as I hold her against the counter, both of us looking at the provocative but private photo. You can't see my face, just the outline of my figure behind her. Typing out a quick caption, pretty girl, being my name for her, she grins wickedly. "You're so smart." She cheers quietly, taking the phone from me as she analyzes the picture. "And you can, like, tell it's a girl and not a guy right? Like this means people will know?" She asks, the grin not fading from her lips as I lean forward, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"Completely, baby." I whisper, my thumb rubbing circles into her hip. She squeals quietly, her finger hovering over the send button as she takes a deep breath. This is it. Pressing send, I smile widely as I cup her cheeks, my lips pressing against hers as her phone clatters against the counter. She immediately kisses me back with another excited squeal, her body trembling happily in my grasp. She pulls away from me breathlessly as I wait for her to speak, her eyes twinkling.

"And then, as people start to like make the connection, maybe we just start telling people slowly?" She offers, my shoulders shrugging in a simple agreement, knowing that the picture was truly good enough to calm my insatiable heart. "Maybe we'd tell Rue first? Jules? They swing our way right?" My heart thumps at her phrasing, my cheeks warming. Our way. Ignoring her question, I press my lips to hers once more in a quick kiss, our laughs filling the bathroom as her phone begins to buzz rapidly.

It continued to buzz for the next two hours but let's just say Cassie was a bit preoccupied.

;)

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[falling-heights]

Even though I've only found your blog today I was surprised to see that your masterlist didn't list any analysis or general headcanons for Frieza. What do you think he'd be like as a Yandere? And do you think he would be one of the more plausible DBZ cast members to become a yandere?

[Hello dearest! I love you forever and always for finally requesting this spicy boy. Tbh I had been surprised as well. As of yet, I haven’t received many requests for DBZ villains in general.]

 Frieza, the Galactic Emperor, is a nightmare of a yandere. In measure of action, he sets new records. He’ll go the farthest for you, and his lack of morals doesn’t help you in the slightest.

He’ll destroy an entire solar system in the blink of an eye, without a moment’s hesitation, all for you. How lucky, right?

Though it’s hard to believe that someone as heartless as Frieza could turn, I agree wholeheartedly he’s among the most likely characters of Dragon Ball to take on those traits.

He’s too prone to letting his emotions guide him, and he’s a very emotional creature. Although, he would only turn if specific conditions were met. You would’ve had to have served under him at some point. Though you may think that being a saiyan might make him less likely to grow interest, it would more than likely escalate the process even more.

The only true way to make him lose himself would be if the day ever arrived that you betrayed him.

Leaving with Vegeta and becoming some some of rebellious figure against his army would be it for him.

How benevolent he is depends entirely on what you can do for him. Even if you are weak or useless, he won’t just kill you, however you’d be far better off if you could give him something in return.

Merely talking about you in his presence is a death sentence. You couldn’t imagine what would happen to the poor soul if he ever found out that you’d been hurt.

He’s driven purely by hatred. The more indignant and confused about his emotions that he is, the quicker he’ll act. His desires are completely irrational, and his compulsions make him unpredictable. Anything can set him off, and there’s no telling how far he’ll take it.  

Now, to say your life with him would be worse than a living hell is underselling what he’s truly offering. He may not be avidly harming you at all hours, and in fact you’ll be quite comfortable with him. But frankly, that would only be possible if you were the perfect little servant, his perfect little servant. And let’s get real, Frieza’s ego is too big to admit that anyone but himself is capable of perfection. So it’ll be a rocky ride no matter what.  All in all, it would be a mixed bag.

Frieza has a nasty power complex. You will never be seen as an equal, as he far too enjoys seeing you as a loyal subordinate. 

Yes, he’d prefer a quiet and devoted partner, however Frieza isn’t one to shy from a challenge. It can become a nuisance to him, however, if you are constantly causing him trouble, so I’d be careful dear. You don’t want to play that game with him. 

“And yet there you stand, unperturbed at the mere sight of me as always. That’s exactly why you belong with me.”

Now, you’ll notice a stark difference between the Frieza who was killed on Namek by Goku’s hand, and the Frieza after his return from hell. All that time that he’d spent in agonizing torment changed him. Perhaps a few cogs fell out of his clock if you catch my meaning. And worse yet, his motivation is fueled by much more than simple anger. 

His never-ending nightmare in hell wasn’t just fairies and stuffed animals. They weren’t even the worst of it. No, what depraved his sanity was the image of you. Always out of reach, always in the corner of his gaze but never in focus. You were right there, and yet he couldn’t have you. It’s enough to make anyone go mad. But upon his return, his number one mission would be finding you again. 

Which, to say his behavior would be different is a tad understated. He’s more reposed in his actions, his words are spoken more gently and with a hint of restraint. He smiles more, though it’s not a kind or happy smile in the slightest. To best describe it would be to call it a promise. A silent oath that he’d win no matter what. To say this newfound nature may have stemmed from unspoken love would be a lie. 

"Your naivety deeply sickens me, my dear, but I suppose I should applaud you for thinking you could elude me forever. 

This isn’t love. It will never be love. Frieza, no matter how suave he may seem at times, is incapable of feeling compassion for anyone. In a sense, his behavior can seem a bit ironic. In no way is he romantic with you, nor will he admit any sort of intimate relationship, but you’re nonetheless viewed as his property. A piece of property that he is violently protective of.

He no longer wants you to simply suffer. You need to understand the hell he was put through. Frieza will kill everyone if you provoke him to such a length. He wouldn’t even bat an eye at it. You need to see suffering before you can even begin to understand him. He wants to see the light fade, the hope rotting under his influence. 

You’re going to be his little muse for a long time. And he won’t be satisfied until you’re just as corrupt as he is. He’s going to twist you into his own little fantasy until your bent to his will. 

I certainly hope your strength holds out. You can only bend and twist something so much before it breaks. 

“Shall we begin this spectacle of horror, my dear?”

check out my other stuff!

#yandere #yandere dbz #dbz #DBS #yandere dbs #yandere dragon ball #yandere dragon ball z #yandere dragon ball super #frieza #yandere frieza #yandere hcs #dragon ball #Dragon Ball Z #dragon ball super #yandere x reader #yandere oneshots #Headcanon #yandere headcanons #yandere db #freeza #yandere freeza

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

I've never met ANYONE who actually likes the Chibnall era. Would you seriously say that it's objectively good?

Brace yourself for unpopular (albeit positive) opinions.

Objectively? I don't know, I tend to feel like media is very much subjective and down to opinion. But on the whole...yeah. I'm gonna say yeah. I think the Chibnall era thus far is every bit as good as the Moffat Era and Davies Era were. It actually blows my mind to see the fandom come together and almost universally agree that the show has gone downhill. It's part of the reason why I kind of stepped away from the Doctor Who fandom because there's something very demoralizing about re-watching clips from Season 12 and seeing literally every comment just talk about how the show is ruined. And if I re-watch old clips, very often I come across comments that talk about how the show "used to" be good, and should have ended with Twelve, etc. I know a little reluctance toward the new Doctor can be part of the transition process, but normally the fans are over it by now.

Things haven't really changed.

I've been re-watching Twelve's era, and found a new appreciation for him. But I re-watched Thirteen's era right beforehand, and you know what? It holds up. Season 11 is remarkably strong. I can't think of a single "bad" episode in that season. It focuses on the characters, and thus it doesn't have nearly as strong ambitions, compared to one of the Moffat seasons, which were clever but often convoluted. They couldn't always stick the landing. (Looking at you, Season 6) But every has it's good parts and it's bad. The same man who wrote The Wedding of River Song and betrayed the entire season's storyline in the process...also wrote The Doctor Falls, which is probably my favorite final episode of any season ever. The Chibnall Era is the same way. The Tsuranga Conundrum isn't really a bad episode, it's just kind of forgettable, apart from the Pting. But then it is immediately followed up by Demons of the Punjab, which is an exceptional story in every way. I want the Thijurians to return for Thirteen's regeneration, I'm saying it.

My point being that even if there are episodes you can't stand in the new era, is that really exclusive to Chibnall? All the way back in Season 1, they had The Long Game, which I remember disliking, but it was sandwiched between Dalek and Father's Day, which are in my opinion, the two best episodes of that season. A lot of people don't like Orphan 55, for example. But it's followed up by Nikola Tesla's Night of Terror. Does anyone really dislike that episode? You're valid if you do, but I think it's really good. Ask me about any episode in the Chibnall Era, and I'll find something to like about it. (Except maybe Arachnids in the UK...and that one's not even bad, just kind of weak.) Because like I said, there is good and bad in every season...and I do think that the fandom has overblown how "bad" the Chibnall Era is...though that may be in part because I think this era is generally good? Incredible companions, solid episodes, a great Doctor, and hey...this era actually made the Daleks scary again. That is impressive. Even most of the hated episodes, like Orphan 55 as I mentioned...I enjoy them.

I stand by that. I think this era is great. If anything, I don't like that they reduced how many episodes we get, because some of these stories, like The Witchfinders and It Takes You Away especially Fugitive of The Judoon, are just begging to be two-parters. Spyfall is the only real two-parter we've had, in my opinion (Ascension of the Cybermen and The Timeless Children feel like two separate stories to me) and the episode was much stronger for having the extra time. If I have one genuine criticism with the Chibnall Era as a whole, it is the stark contrast between Seasons 11 and 12. I love Season 11, I thought it was beautiful. I like it far more than most people. I also truly enjoyed Season 12. But they are worlds apart, with Season 11 feeling so standalone and Season 12 picking up with a big storyline that really hadn't been hinted at all in the previous outing. The tone is also different, with The Doctor and "the fam" having a distance between them that seems to have developed offscreen in between seasons. It was as though Chibnall wanted to give everyone a breather from big overarching plots after the Moffat Era, but then after one season he decided "break's over" because he wanted to tell his story. And that's okay! It is. But it's jarring. Anyway, let's talk about Chibnall's storyline. You know where this is going.

"That" episode.

I meant what I said before. There isn't a single episode that I actively hate as much as say, Listen. Now let's get very controversial, because I know what y'all are thinking. "Not even The Timeless Children?" And I'll just get this out of the way right now: I don't think The Timeless Children, or it's twist, ruins Doctor Who. I don't think it gets anywhere close. I mentioned before that I was demoralized reading the comments on a clip of Doctor Who...to no one's surprise, it was this episode. Now, I may just be biased...after all, I didn't even hate Hell Bent. But while I have my criticisms of Season 12, The Doctor's revised backstory accounts for exactly none of them. You want to know what really bothers me? That we had a seven season buildup to Gallifrey's rescue, a nine season buildup to it's return...only for the show to do nothing with it, and then just destroy it again a couple of seasons later. As someone who loved The Day of The Doctor, I'm mad about that. Among other reasons, destroying Gallifrey is the kind of card you can really only play once.

So no, I don't think The Timeless Children is perfect. The Doctor had a seven season character arc culminating in them learning the lesson that using The Moment would be wrong, and that it was never okay to do something like that. To hear her even consider using The Death Particle, that "Or, a solution" line in response to Ryan appropriately reacting in horror? Yeah, that upset me. I don't like that Gallifrey is gone again, and even if The Doctor wasn't the one to do it, she almost did, and she left someone else to do it in her stead. That bothers me more than The Timeless Child ever could. That being said...the Timeless Child doesn't bother me. Seriously, it blows my mind that people act like this twist ruins Doctor Who. It...really doesn't, guys.

It does not insult the legacy of William Hartnell. He is still The First Doctor. It's not like there isn't a precedent for secret incarnations from The Doctor's past. We didn't start calling Christopher Eccleston The Tenth Doctor after we found out about John Hurt. Nothing can change The First Doctor's status or take it away, nor do I think Chibnall is trying. He is doing what I've actually wanted Doctor Who to do for a while. Give us a story about The Doctor's childhood. (Listen doesn't count, I don't care, that was all kinds of bad.) Let me ask you, what does this really change? I've seen people complain about the revision of The Doctor's history...but there's a precedent for that too. We could play bingo with how many times Clara fundamentally altered or influenced the show's history. She is the reason he started traveling, the reason he chose his Tardis, and the reason he saved Gallifrey. Why doesn't that bother people, if this does?

I also understand it if people dislike this change because they feel as though it makes The Doctor a kind of chosen one, compared to them having just been an average person who wanted to make a difference. I get that. However, this is down to interpretation, and there are so many ways to interpret The Doctor. Some people love it when The Doctor goes dark, other people cannot stand it and view it as out of character. Some people love it when The Doctor is heroic and badass, when they save the day...others would prefer that they take the backseat, teaching the humans how to save the day themselves. "The man who makes people better." And which interpretation you get, where it falls on the spectrum...it will vary from writer to writer. Moffat loved to make everything about The Doctor, and Davies frequently compared him to an angel or a god. This is not the first time that the show has portrayed The Doctor as a godlike being. It's not even close to the first time. And honestly? I don't think this makes The Doctor special or supernatural. I think it makes them a victim, nothing more. A victim of child abuse.

People also disliked this episode for removing the mystery behind The Doctor...but I fail to see how it did that? There are so. Many. Questions. That this finale opens up. Where did The Doctor come from? How and why did they get to our universe? What exactly is The Division? What went down between them and The Doctor? Where is Tecteun? (No, she's not Rassilon...) As the Masters asks, "What did they do to you, Doctor? How many lives have you had?" Amid all of the comments that made me sad, I did see a great one about how the original creator of Doctor Who actually didn't like it when they introduced the Timelords, because she felt that it boxed the show in and removed the mystery behind The Doctor, and how "She would have loved this episode." I agree with that. (Still salty that they destroyed Gallifrey though...) You know, I am genuinely interested in this story and where it's going to go, especially with the sixtieth anniversary approaching. But it depresses me that they might scale it back now, after how much the fandom has risen up against it. Not that I'm saying the fans shouldn't be happy, but...it's clear that a story is trying to be told here, and I think it should have that chance.

To each their own, of course. But I will never understand why this era is so hated.

#Doctor Who #Dr. Who #The Doctor #The Thirteenth Doctor #Chris Chibnall #Chibnall Era #Doctor Who Season 12 #Doctor Who Season 11 #Long post #Boy did this get long #Ramblings #The Timeless Children #The Timeless Child

[13eyond13]

I'll try to keep it short because you're very kind but I'm becoming annoying... I actually like Soichiro. It's his morals I cannot stand. In fact, in line with his, I like Matsuda's and even Light's variations more, even with all the darkness they entail, because they're more critical. I adore L and find him relatable, but I'm not so sure if I'd like him as a person in real life, and yet I again like his morals more than Soichiro's. I still think Soichiro is generally a better person than any of the others. I still dislike his morals the most. When I say at the opposite end of Soichiro in the moral spectrum is where Near stands I'm not talking just about my personal liking, but as I interpret their views on morality. Maybe there's some detail of the manga I'm forgetting (I truly have to reread it), but Soichiro didn't seem very critical about... anything, while Near states something like "even if god came and told me this is good and this is bad and this is The Truth I'd still consider and come to my own conclusion". I like that. I care less about someone getting a moral with what I may consider a degree of grey if they do that. I myself have very strong morals that nonetheless have degrees of grey; strong doesn't mean pure. My grey and someone else's grey might be very different. But I've developed them, not accepted them blindly. Near of course, Mello, L, and even Light and Matsuda do this, but Soichiro generally doesn't. And I dislike that greatly. In fact, I think I'd find him kind in real life, and likeable, but I'd not really like him because I can't really bring myself to like someone like that even when they're kind and compassionate and good. I'm already talking more than I intended but I'll try to point out what bothers me of his attitude.

Soichiro is very very anti Kira, but he's working for a government with the death penalty and he doesn't seem to consider that even for a moment. For him, that the government does it is justifiable but monstrous if a person does it. He doesn't really have a justification, it's just like that because it's as it is. He's very against L's methods, buy L uses people who were going to die anyway at the very moment he uses them either way because of the death penalty, because of the government. From a government pov, if the government were to do what L does, it'd be something terrible. From an individual pov? Not so much. It's ugly, but it's beyond himself whether that people die or not, and his decisions are easily justifiable from an individual pov: they're going to die irrevocably, that very day at that very time, and he is using what he can to solve a very complicated case that is taking many lives, and he even might use the moral support of "I'm giving the prisoners the chance of choosing, with the potential reward of lifelong imprisonment instead of death". And again, while a government doing that is terrible, it's not as terrible for a person. L is a private detective, an individual. People can be fallible. Governments shouldn't. What L does might be justifiable, if ugly, for a person, but it would be unforgivable for the government to do. But the government lies on L and it's L who takes the slander of the rest of the Task Force. And that's what Soichiro doesn't see, and that's what bugs me. Soichiro sides with the government and the laws no matter what, no matter if they're terrible and are actually the cause if indirectly of the terrible things L is able to do (I'd have to reread to be completely comfortable affirming this, but Soichiro's attitude towards the government reminds me a bit of Mikami and Misa to some extent).

Soichiro hates Kira, and hates and criticises L's methods and his ruthlessness, but doesn't even consider for one moment the problem is not L. The problem is not the 24 yo boy/man, the problem is his government, that has the dead penalty and actually let's a private detective carry on with the investigation and do as he pleases (and I'm not even taking into consideration how L's upbringing and the lowkey if fun exploitation he was subrmited to have most probably influenced if not determined the way he acts in these cases, because while it's intriguing it'd feel like justifying L out of pity, and either way Soichiro doesn't know that; but I mention this because L's entire past at Wammy's, like the other children's, is another very terrible move from governments and adults in responsibility positions). The problem is Interpol, the governments in general, blatantly saying L is ruthless but not even setting rules when working with him. And I think it would actually have been very easy to stop L doing those things. Just change the rules of the game, tell him beforehand there are a few things he can't do. It's a game after all. Of course L would still exploit the moral and legal vacuums of the rules as he pleased, as one does when playing anything, but the government wouldn't have given him totally free way.

I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself very well. Years ago in a class I talked about the difference between personal vengeance and the death penalty. I feel this is similar. A person is fallible. A government should be able to stand over licit murder. L manipulating people to prove a point is ugly. A government doing that or letting someone free way to do whatever is terrible. L does whatever, and as an individual is not so horrible as it is that the governments internationally actually let him do whatever even knowing beforehand without setting rules. Soichiro sees this and it doesn't even cross his mind for a moment to criticise the government he's working with. Also, he considers his morals the best, which makes sense in a first person pov (why support x morals if you don't think they're the best? I'm not critisising this), but he's very... imposing about them, while as I say not being precisely the most critical thinker. That Soichiro is like this, morally (I'm not even talking about the policeman aspect though that's so often talked about in the fandom), makes a lot of sense to how Light ends up being Kira, and with how Matsuda thinks and acts. And I find that very intriguing, but I can't stand Soichiro's simplistic morals and his better-than-you attitude even though he's a generally good person. That's why I dislike his morals the most (of course you don't have to agree!). I don't stand by Near's morals either, but I like his "god could come and tell me and still I'd doubt" attitude. It's what makes gods mad in basically every mythology, but I love that kind of thought process. I'm very much like that too.

I'm so sorry this is so long. I tried to cut, but I got the impression it'd make it even less clear or more difficult to understand. Or maybe the lack of clarity lies precisely on how repetitive and long this is. I'd like to think English not being my first language has to do with this, but honestly the problem is most probably just me. I hope I made the point understandable enough, though. And thanks for your patience. I really liked that post of Near someone sent as an opinion and how you replied! Very interesting takes on both ends.

Hi again! You have some very thought-provoking points about it all, and don't worry, your English is excellent.

I loved Near's stance about these things as well, and that's something that really bothered me when growing up about some authority figures and institutions being really totalitarian and silencing of doubts or stances they deemed too negative or incorrect to voice aloud. I value having freedom of choice and the ability to think critically about everything immensely. Maybe it's because I went to a very strict and sheltering and weird little school as a child that tried very hard to indoctrinate me with a specific worldview, and always shamed and silenced anyone who disagreed or questioned them or felt like an outsider or wanted to have a different point of view. I remember relating the most to Matsuda on the task force when I first watched the show as a teen, because he was always speaking up with his devil's advocate questions or confusions. The way Soichiro and the others usually yell and scold and shame him for this bothered me a lot, because I wanted them to discuss things openly so I could see all the different sides of the arguments more clearly. Actually, I think this is a pretty culturally similar thing between Japan and Canada (where I am from). There's a strong emphasis on doing what's best for the entire group instead of just yourself, and being too controversial or outspoken or individualistic about certain things is often taboo and frowned upon as a big social faux pas. It's possibly quite a bit stronger pressure toward obedience and conformity and politeness in Japan in certain ways as well, but I don't know for sure as I haven't lived there myself.

I think Soichiro had a bit of nuance and flexibility with his morals and his stances in various instances throughout the plot, and to me he seemingly tries hard to see things from other angles during complicated moments in what must be one of the most difficult situations he could possibly face as both a police chief and a parent. But it's true he never seemed to doubt that upholding the laws already in place and the way his government punishes the convicted were the "correct" ways society should function. I think this series would be a really interesting one to discuss in a class that talks about stuff like justice and the death penalty and law and ethics and such for how many of these things it touches on in an entertaining and thought-provoking way!

#soichiro #near #matsuda #ask #anon #p

[maxwell-grant]

Downfall of a Dark Avenger Part 2: Shadows of Manhattan

Having finished reading Al Ewing’s El Sombra trilogy and having had enough time to digest it, I’d like to talk about the trajectory of it’s titular protagonist, the character and series’s relationship with it’s influences. Relating to The Shadow and Zorro and general pulp archetypes, and also the way it incorporates Astro Boy’s Pluto into the mix.

This part is focused on Gods of Manhattan and El Sombra’s first appearences in Pax Omega and the ways in which the urban vigilante manifests itself in the books. 

In Gods of Manhattan, El Sombra takes a backseat to it’s central players, Doc Thunder and The Blood-Spider. I’ve mentioned how Thunder, while ostensibly a Doc Savage/Superman amalgam, also combines aspects that allow the character to condense the entire history of the superman into a single being, but to a character very much centered on the future and in progressive ideals, described in the book as someone considered both the city’s ultimate savior as well as viewed as "a faggot, a liberal and a miscegenationist”. In that regard, the Blood-Spider becomes his opposite. Perhaps the most comprehensive savaging of the dark detective/The Shadow ever put on paper, that has a larger point behind the questions and criticisms it brings up to what this kind of figure can be. 

"You can hardly have a war on crime unless you are the one defining what a crime is. First rule of the war on crime: everyone is guilty or something"

Us am vigilantes! Am us not men? Us use violence to effect social change! Am us not men? Us bring terror to underclass, make streets safer for overclass! Am us not men? Am us not men?

Making them loved rather than feared. Having them fight crime, or the right kind of crime, at least. Created a persona designed to appeal to the worst in people, to bring the citizens of New York around to his cause, his war on crime, which would, of course, then become a war against ‘urban crime’. Or some other little euphemism. ‘Inhuman’, for example. Sounds a lot more relatable than subhuman, doesn’t it? Comes to the same thing, though.

Although The Blood-Spider is an evil take on The Shadow, most of his character traits are taken from characters that followed him. He’s got the moniker, savagery, fright tactics and branded murders of The Spider, he climbs buildings and has a civilian identity akin to Spider-Man’s, with constant name references to characters like Stacey, Jonah and a redhead named Mary Watson, with him sharing a name with Peter Parker as well as Batman villain Jonathan Crane, he’s got Rorschach monologues that are echoed by his associates past his demise in white supremacist organizations dedicated to carrying off Spider’s legacy, predating HBO Watchmen’s take on Rorschach legacy. If Doc Thunder is all about taking the superhero’s past to create a better future with it, Blood-Spider takes the future of the urban vigilante and uses it as a conduit to enact a barbaric and reactionary agenda in service of undoing everything Thunder stands for, even before he’s revealed to be a Nazi agent. 

Blood-Spider is what happens when the absolute worst aspects of said characters are brought to the forefront and twisted by a dose of reality. He’s to The Shadow what Plutonian is to Superman, the most sour way said character and legend can be twisted into something horrendous. He’s the Doutrinador in a fedora, everything I vehemently argue that The Shadow wasn’t, and yet seems sadly ever closer to as more and more comics dehumanize the character. He’s Howard Chaykin’s Shadow, naked and raw and exposed for what it ultimately is. An insult and a wake-up call, if a necessary one.

In fact, said poisoning of a legend is explicitly a plot point in the book, because the book establishes that, before The Blood-Spider, the city’s main vigilante used to be a man by the name of Blue Ghost, friend of Doc Thunder and, although a mysterious public figure, still firmly on the side of good. Unfortunately, moral victories aside, “good” alone doesn’t cut it in the world of El Sombra. 

You took a look at the Blue Ghost - mysterious masked avenger, operatives all over the place, big fan-following with the working classes, and you figured...we need one of those. Just take away the Japanese orphan kid and replace him with a foxy Aryan chick.

Blue Ghost is almost a textbook Spirit analogue, even defined as being beat up a lot as his main asset, except here, he’s placed as Doc’s counterpart that died before the story began and is now replaced by a darker and more horrendous counterpart, and because The Spirit was influenced by The Shadow, it opens a roundabout connection. You can read this as a comparison between the shift from Adam West’s Batman to Frank Miller’s Batman, or a comparison between The Shadow and earlier more straightforward pulp vigilantes like Jimmie Dale, or a comparison between the pulp/radio Shadow and later iterations of him or analogues to his archetype that upped the nastier aspects. Again, nothing in El Sombra is ever quite just one thing. 

And at last we come to El Sombra, who spends much of the book caught in between the duels of Doc, Untergang and players in between. And it’s interesting that here, while El Sombra’s final victories over the story’s major conflict lie in his willingness to team up with Doc, despite knowing of his origins as a Nazi weapon, his victories over Blood-Spider instead come from turning tricks of The Shadow against him. First, when he discovers Spider’s true nature, spying on him by pulling a Fritz the Janitor. And then in the finale, when he schools Spider on what a real shadowy avenger looks like. 

"Amigo...that's my sword"

The voice came from the darkness above them, where the gaslight did not reach. The Spider's blood ran cold for a long moment, and then he grabbed hold of his other gun, tearing it from its holster and raising it to fire a volley of bullets into the darkness. "Where are you? Show yourself!" he hissed, turning in place, the gun raised to fire at the slightest sound or movement.

"You're not the only one who can hide in the shadows, my friend. I've got very good at it, over the years."

"Show yourself!" Another volley of shots, with no result. Was he throwing his voice? Was he everywhere at once? Was he a shadow himself? A ghost?

The voice echoed from another place now, continuing his speech exactly where he had left off. And still that mocking voice echoed from the shadows above.

"See, I didn't know if you were a good guy or a bad guy. I mean, sure, you killed people, and you were kind of a dick about it, you know? But I didn't know if you were one of the bastards. I didn't know if you needed to die or not, amigo."

The gun clicked empty. He was out of bullets. He turned again, and there was the man in the red mask. Just standing there, in the middle of the concourse. His smile didn't look human. And his eyes. Oh, his terrible eyes...

"Stay back." The Spider whispered, and his voice sounded in his ears like a frightened, animal thing, waiting to curl up and die in its hole.

The man in the red mask only laughed. A rich, deep, joyous laugh, a laugh that echoed and filled the whole station, bouncing from pillar to pillar, careening through the great vaulted arches. Such a laugh!

Then the laughter stopped, and he fixed the Blood-Spider with a look that would freeze the fires of Hell.

And suddenly - quite suddenly - there was no Blood-Spider. There was only Parker Crane, the Nazi. Parker Crane, the traitor. Who thought he could destroy America, and only managed to destroy himself. Parker Crane. Just a man wearing a mask. He ran, and left the sword behind him.

"Nice trick," Doc murmured, turning to the masked man. "Throwing your sword from up on the balcony - good aim, by the way - then throwing your voice and a little mental suggestion to make him think you were up in the arches where he'd been. Where did you learn that?"

The masked man shrugged, lifting up his weapon. "In the desert. You can learn a lot in the desert, if you put your mind to it."

By the story’s end, once Lars Lomax, Thunder’s arch-enemy and Lex Luthor, takes center stage as it’s ultimate threat, Parker Crane is left a traumatized, broken shell unable to even move, utterly stripped of any mystique or power that his mask and guns may have brought him. And in the end, El Sombra finds him, neutralized and no longer a threat to anyone. And he makes his choice.

El Sombra knew what it was to hate, to hate so hard and so long that you knew nothing else, to hate so strongly that it crossed that line into something beyond reason.

He lifted his sword, resting the blade in his palm for a moment, considering. Crane only stared, weeping and making his soft, mad noises. El Sombra sighed, shaking his head. "You know, I don't know if I can kill a guy who's already dead. Even if he is one of the bastards."

"Don't let him in here." Murmured Crane, his eyes wide.

"Shhh, I won't let him in," smiled El Sombra in response, trying to be reassuring. "You'll never have to face him again. I promise. It's okay, amigo. It's okay."

It was strange. He knew he should feel hate for Parker Crane. It was Djego's job to bear things like pity and doubt, to feel sorrow and shame. That was Djego's role in their team of one. El Sombra was there to take never-ending revenge and to laugh and to never look back. But to know that his murder of Heinrich Donner - his righteous kill - had resulted in so much harm coming to so many... and now to see the leader of Undergang, the man he'd come to New York to kill, just an empty, broken madman, a shell of a person... El Sombra wondered if he was changing.

"Don't," whispered Crane, a tear rolling down his cheek. "Don't let him back in."

El Sombra smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, amigo. I'm going to go and make sure nobody ever needs to see him again. And I couldn't have done it without you." He squeezed lightly. "You didn't mean to, but you did some good. Remember that."

Then, gently, he pushed the tip of the sword through the front of Crane's skull and into his brain.

He was not incapable of pity. But he was who he was, and he did what he did.

And broken or not, the bastards had to die.

We’ve seen El Sombra struggle and be faced with choices, choices between Djego and El Sombra, choices between kindness and violence, between peace and conflict. We’ve seen the conflict in his soul between things that he knows are right, because Djego is a good man with a good soul who wants good things for himself and others, and things he knows he must do, because he is El Sombra and El Sombra was created to kill the bastards that brought his world to ruin and therefore it’s what he must always do. And in the end, El Sombra is simply stronger. He has to be. But strength and violence and hatred can only get one so far. 

Gods of Manhattan is the trilogy’s moral compass, the book that most clearly defines the morality the series operates on. And in between the spectrums of justice embodied by Doc and Crane’s approach, between the two urban avengers in The Blue Ghost and Blood-Spider, El Sombra made his choice. And it’s the first choice that dooms him.

Enter Pax Omega, and we learn that, 4 years since the previous book's events, El Sombra joined a squad of agents called Yankee Bravo Seven, who work for an organization named STEAM, who enact missions against Nazis to turn the tides of war. He is joined by several other types of characters, including The Blood Widow, Crane’s former assistant Marlene Lang now having taken up the moniker (just as Nita van Sloan did for The Spider, even with the “Widow” prefix). We see that El Sombra has joined a team of bantering heroes and even formed a friendly rivalry with a man named Savate, modeled after Batroc the Leaper. 

But we see that the hunger for vengeance still burns, still burns beyond reason, restless because it’s been 4 years and the war still isn’t over and Hitler still isn’t dead by his sword. And it’s that restlessness that again dooms him, when he once again makes the wrong choice and betrays leader Jack Scorpio, Scorpio who had personally brought him on board and gave him the best shot he ever had at getting to Hitler. 

El Sombra frowned. "We need to make our move now."

Scorpio shook his head. "Not yet."

"What?" El Sombra looked incredulous.

"Wait for my signal, I said! Damn it, I need you to trust me!" Jack Scorpio reached up to brush the back of his finger across his forehead, and realised he was sweating. 

Through his special glasses, El Sombra's aura was glowing an angry, pulsing red, like a throbbing vein. "Just...trust me. I'm asking you to hold back for just five minutes. There's more going on here than you know."

El Sombra just stared at him, his lips pulling back from his teeth in a cold snarl.

"Trust me. That's all I ask." Jack Scorpio looked into the blazing eyes behind the bloodstained mask, and spoke softly, soothingly, almost desperately. "Can you just hold back for one minute?"

The eyes behind the mask narrowed.

"Can you?"

PERSONNEL FILE: DJEGO "EL SOMBRA". TO EYES ONLY: THIS INDIVIDUAL IS HIGHLY DANGEROUS. IT IS STRONGLY RECOMMENDED HE NOT BE INCLUDED IN ANY OPERATIONS CLASSIFIED ABOVE TOP SECRET OR HIGHER. (I'll take the risk - J.S)

El Sombra spat in Scorpio's face.

"Chinga tu madre."

Then he drew his sword and leaped down into the fray.

After the mission is over, with the base destroyed and a major victory secured, although with Jack Scorpio having been killed, the team disbands. El Sombra continues to wander the forests near the Luftwaffe base for about two weeks, killing as many Nazis as he can, until an explosion blast hits near him, knocking away his mask and portions of his leg and arm, and rendering him unconscious for 8 months. By the time he wakes up, the war has ended, and so has El Sombra for the past 7 years.

Djego was afforded the best of medical care at the hospital in Venice. El Sombra was nowhere to be found.

His mask had been torn off in the explosion, along with some of the meat of his leg and arm. He walked stiffly, now, with a pronounced limp, and his left arm was all but useless, hanging limply at his side. The Wildcat crew had salvaged his sword, but Djego had little interest in using it.

Gradually, he regained his mobility. The back of his head itched constantly, and he suffered from horrendous mood swings, when he would rage against the Fuhrer and the bastards, or weep helplessly, like a child. But gradually, he found his personality stabilising in the gentle, antiseptic atmosphere of the hospital. He found that Djego - so long despised as a weakling, a coward and a fool - was capable of a kind of gentle, melancholic wit that made him popular.

Djego healed and grew, and the itch in the back of his skull began to subside, as El Sombra relinquished his grip.

Djego felt his heart seize in his chest. The cloth was missing a scrap at the end, and there was mud ground into the fabric along with the old bloodstains; but it had two evenly-spaced holes in it, and was unmistakably a mask. It seemed to be looking at him.

He takes up gardening and establishes himself in the city of Brandenberg, he becomes a fixture of the city and a friend of it, he enters a relationship, and El Sombra never appears again.

Until a mysterious stranger named Leonard Lorraine, walks through his door one day, saying he’s got a mission to fulfill, and hands him his mask. And, once again, El Sombra is simply stronger, and he makes the wrong choice again. 

Djego shook his head and tried to step back from it, but his legs wouldn't move.

"No," he whispered. "No. Please"

"I was happy," pleaded Djego. "Doesn't that matter to you?" He picked up the cloth in trembling fingers, looking into the empty eyeholds. "Doesn't that mean anything?"

There was no answer. The patrons of the bierkeller did not even notice anything was happening.

"I was happy," Djego choked, and then, in one spasmodic motion, he pulled the mask onto his face, and secured it tightly, so that the knot once again rested in the back of his head, where it belonged: so tightly that it might never come off again.

El Sombra looked at his hands.

He prodded his belly, amused at the rounded shape of it, and took a couple of steps back from the bar. The limp was gone.

He laughed, very softly, so as not to disturb the patrons.

Djego and Lorraine walk through the desolate streets of Berlin, which in the years since has completely sealed itself from the outside world through an impossibly thick dome, and Djego discovers the city completely bereft of life, with only a few lobotomized robotic citizens aimlessly wandering and chewing on the mountains of corpses in the city, as their Nazi ideology reached it’s inevitable outcome of total annihilation of any and all that the party could find an excuse to slaughter in the name of purity, which eventually included it’s few remaining members. In this world, Hitler has been a brain inside a robotic contraption ever since 1945, and it’s amidst this scenario that El Sombra, while thinking about how his final confrontation with Hitler would play out, eventually finds what’s left of Hitler. 

All around them, there were the sounds of machinery, but the Mecha-Fuhrer was completely silent, utterly motionless. In the centre of its chest rested a tank of toxic green fluid, and on the surface of the fluid, a human brain floated, like the corpse of a goldfish.

It was quite dead.

El Sombra stared at the Fuhrer for a long moment. Eventually, he spoke, and his voice was cracked and raw, and choked with rage. "Is...is this a joke?"

De Lareine smiled his terrible smile. "The Fuhrer's body needed a great deal of maintenance and repair, you know. After two years, one of the processes delivering oxygen to his brain failed...and there was nobody left to repair it. He died, slowly." There would have been some pain, at the end".

El Sombra slammed his fist into the great iron throne on which the massive body sat, shattering his knuckles and tearing the skin from them. He didn't seem to notice. "Some pain," he choked, through gritted teeth."

El Sombra was still staring into the empty, dead eyes of the Fuhrer.

El Sombra again chooses poorly. It’s this moment, above all else, that truly damns him to his fate, as we come to see what is it exactly that a persona created for the purpose of vengeance has, when said vengeance is robbed from it. Like Parker Crane, his persona crumbles completely to expose the petty, ugly little feelings that drove it to such grandstanding antics in the first place, and the allmighty El Sombra is exposed for the all-too human failings that damned him once and for all.

"This isn't right," he said, eventually, in a strangled voice. "How...how can it end like this?"

"Why shouldn't it?" De Lareine shrugged. "Here's a thought. Maybe, despite his twenty-year tantrum and all his dressing up, spoilt little Djego is not the centre of the universe -"

El Sombra turned, face red, tears streaming from his eyes, and charged at De Lareine, slashing his sword. El Sombra crashed down onto the floor, into the soot scattered about, as De Lareine walked around him.

"Did you really believe Adolf Hitler would wait around for your sword? Did you not imagine that it might be better for him to seal himself off in a hole to die, instead of murdering and enslaving continents until you finally got around to him? Did you think you were the hero of your own little story, El Sombra, with your mask and your laugh and your-"

"Shut up!" El Sombra cried out, scrambling to his feet, the sword shaking in his hand, tears and snot running down his face. "He was mine! He was mine to kill!" He lifted the sword, the tip trembling. "Bring him back," he screamed, "do you hear me? Bring him back to life!"

De Lareine had to laugh at that.

And in the end, El Sombra is crushed, spiritually and physically as his spine is shattered by Lareine, who begins to experiment on him as he lays dying, ready to fulfill fate’s greater purpose for El Sombra. Ready to become not just the perfect machine Pasito’s conquerors intended, but a superior design. Ready to abandon his former life, ready to abandon everything that defined him, ready to shed any and all traces of Zorro and Shadow and pulp hero in his system, because the age of pulp heroes and superheroes has passed. 

The metal man emerged from his hole, dragging the corpse of the Fuhrer behind him.

The brain in the metal man's chest would, perhaps, live for thousands of years. He wondered how he would spend the time.

He remembered little of his former life; he had been a man named El Sombra, or perhaps Djego. He had been stupid - he realised that now - but that was something he would never be again.

Apart from that, there was only a succession of faces, the memory of laughter and of a final, awful betrayal that had destroyed him. But there was also the sense that a great and terrible mission had ended at last, and it was time for a new life to begin.

The metal man took a last look back at the great dome of Fortress Berlin. Somewhere in there, the Leopard Man was hunting, freed from his own mission. And in the Fuhrer's old office, the empty, lifeless clay of El Sombra - or was it Djego? - lay, discarded, like a butterfly's cocoon.

The metal man thought on this, as the Fuhrer rusted at his feet and the tanks began to approach from over the hills ahead.

He would need a new name.

It’s now the age of Pluto.

#replies tag #pulp heroes #al ewing #el sombra #pluto

[sunseteyes]

THE RED ROSES IN WONDERLAND; T. KAMADO

theme/s: alice in wonderland & brave inspired. a beginning; where the child of the red king meets the one that is fated to bring peace in the land. 

word count: 1,957 words

roze’s note: i suddenly wanted to write this as a multi-chapter but let’s see~ if my schedule permits it, why not? also, what do you think? should i really??

a sigh leaves your lips as your eyes glances over the same flowers every single day. yes, the flowers were indeed beautiful, but whenever you see the color red, you just can't help but feel that coiling of your stomach and the tightening in your throat.

everyone thinks you don't know of the blood that spills on your father's hands, but you do, and you're only pretending you don't.

just as you were about to turn back to the house, a figure catches your attention and you immediately recognized who it was.

"nosuke! you're back!" your mood brightened immediately at the only one whom you could call a friend in the whole land. despite being surrounded by lots of individuals and loyal subjects, your guard is still always up and you never full trusted all of them—except inosuke.

it was explainable though. he's the only one who is not entirely by your father's side but he can still manage to stay alive. as the record keeper of wonderland, inosuke the white rabbit is more like the neutral individual. he doesn't have a side to pick on and that's why you don't have a problem opening up to him at all.

"how was your travel to the other side? did you bring a souvenir for me?" you excitedly approached the boy and his ears twitched at the sound of your voice, his head turning around to face you with his beautiful face that you sometimes envy upon. he's probably the prettiest you'd ever seen in the whole land!—as if you'd seen everyone yet. you never got to get out much aside from the forest because your father insists that you must stay safe and not act hostile because you are a royal, the future ruler of the reds, after him.

you didn't want to adapt your father's way of ruling but you can't also say no to him. it's not that you were afraid but mostly because you love him too much to hurt him. he raised you with the outmost care and compassion he could give. the only thing you could give back to him is by abiding in his rules and obeying him by following his footsteps.

but you can't kill anyone either.

"huh? souvenir? i was there for work, you know! you can't just order me to do something when i've got other things to do." you smiled at inosuke's response. harsh as it may seem to others, you know it was his way of conversing to someone he doesn't particularly call his "minion". he can be a bit superior against others but it's what you admire most in your friend.

"wait, inosuke. i heard you brought someone from the other side. is that true?"

your question seemed to have made him tense for a second but it vanished as soon as it came. you realized then that it must have been the same question your father might have asked him that's why the rabbit was summoned there.

"you mean gonpachiro? he's not going to stay here for long. the portal will open a week after, there's no need to worry about the legend."

ah, so that's what it is, you thought.

there's a legend in wonderland that there will come a time that someone from "the other side" will come and give a path to peace between the white and the red, making the land as one as it can be. looking at it now, many have lost hope that the legend was not even often said anymore. yet, it is also a fear for others, especially the royals since peace will result to a singular leadeship.

it's either one will back down and give way so the other will rule all over wonderland, or one will have to fall in misery as the other rises in victory,

either way, you're sure your father will never like the idea of that unless he will be the ruler.

"i'm not worried about the legend." you say, looking up a inosuke's eyes. "i'm more worried about this gonpachiro you're talking about. you know how my father works."

inosuke's lips seals tight at your words. you have kept from everyone aside from inosuke about your knowledge of your father's dirty works but until now, inosuke seems bothered about it.

now you don't really socialize with the others in your household much and you usually keep your distant most of the time. one of the main reasons why was because of your father—he often tells you never to trust anyone, including the ones that are loyal to them. you agreed in his logic for the reason that his loyal subjects are the ones that obeys his orders and has the capability of killing anyone. you never liked that idea, even if you don't show or tell it to others, especially your father. he'd be very disappointed if that so happens.

this results to a lot of free time for yourself. with an idea you got from the back of your head, you begun to imitate how your father's loyal subjects often train around the palace.

by training, it meant drawing a weapon and using it constantly for you to get used to it. at first, you thought of it as something you do in your past time. however as moments passes by and more killings were done in the red kingdom, you decided it was for your own safety. you never know when time will come when someone tries to avenge their lost loved one because of your father. as the only heir to the throne and the ones that carries the king's own blood, you will surely be the best prey for a predator.

drawing back your arm, narrowing your eyes and casting a breath, you let go of the tail of the arrow, watching it hit the target whilst quickly reaching for another one and repeat the process.

eleven years. it took eleven years for you to master the art of archery.

at first, you tried with knives, swords and even a fan—which was the weapon of one of your father's loyal subjects. yet, the bow and arrows were the only ones you had gotten a connection too. thus, it served you as your main weapon that you had learned throughout the years without any guidance from anyone.

your father didn't like the idea of you fighting for your own. even if you had kept your training a secret all these years. you had a feeling he knows about it and he was either already pleased about it or he's too disappointed that you were keeping it a secret that he wants you to confess it to him instead of confronting you.

your hair flutters under the influence of the wind as you balanced on your horse, already used to its movement and shifts as he glides through the trees of the forest.

you locked your eyes on a target however as you shot the arrow, a figure catches your attention and it was too late.

"look out!"

you were quite sure that the figure was so a hair-strand away from getting hit yet it dodges, the arrow marking a perfect score on the target on a tree trunk.

you halted your horse and ushers it towards the figure's way, your mind failing to recognize what it was.

"who are you?" you made eye contact with the boy, the crimson in his hair resonating his orbs that were certainly of a different hues than your father and the roses in your garden.

he looks... different. far too unique from the people in the palace.

"how did you gain access in here? from what i remember i told everyone that only i should be of use of the forest." your brows furrow at the sight of him, your guard up just in case he will try something.

although, his face displayed of a gentleness that you had not seen for the longest time—was there ever been a moment, even? that you don't know. from what you can recall, everyone only respected you because of your title.

not because of you yourself.

"don't be alarmed! i bring you no harm, your highness!" he raises both of his hands up as a sign of surrender, his voice tainted of assurance and calmness that no burglar or man with ill-intention would have.

you still refuse to trust him.

"how will i know of your claims?" your grip on your bow tightens, prepared of any kind of attack. "what's your name, stranger?"

he seems to be at ease with your questioning, making you curious even further.

"i am tanjiro kamado. i... the white rabbit and the mad hatter sent me here. he thought i could be of help to you, your highness."

"help? why would i need that?"

then inosuke and zenitsu? why would they send this boy without telling it to you beforehand?

"you need to know what the red king is doing. he needs to be stopped. inosuke told me only you are capable to do that."

"i already know of my father's schemes." your lips tighten in your words, being the second time to have told your secret, you were beginning to think it was a wrong move.

the boy named tanjiro looked surprised, betrayed even. could it be that inosuke lied to him? you guesses that might not be the case.

"you mean... you know that he's planning to start a war against the white kingdom...?" there was hope and uncertainty in his voice, a mixture that you had deemed obvious with how he toned it. however, it was least of your worries for his words had processed in your mind first.

a war? now that you don't know about.

"where have you gotten this idea?" you question him further. "i... i never heard of that."

he seems to have perked up at your last statement, his aura changing in a millisecond.

"muzan learned of my coming here. you know of the legend, right? i didn't know if it at first but i was warned that my arrival would cause great chaos in this world." it had been awhile since you've heard someone use your father's name.

that fact alone changed your perspective on the boy.

climbing down your horse, your garments sticking to your skin as the slight formation of the sweat from your training. without letting go of your bow, you stood in front of tanjiro, feeling like the world had stopped at how you were feeling the beginning of change in you and your household.

looking straight into his eyes, you spoke.

"yes, that is a fact." you scanned his face and found a genuineness that you were not used of seeing as a result of being in a place with people that wore a firm and strict expression constantly. you were getting tired of it.

wait, no. you are tired of it.

"but your coming here is a sign of hope." your muscles eases up at how you let it out all in one go, "you will be the source of peace in wonderland, tanjiro kamado."

all your teenage years you spent on being silent. now that you were getting close to your coronation, it is time to show everyone what is needed to be done,

and with this boy in front of you, you felt as if the coil in your stomach contort back and relax, a ray of light showing you the path that you should take in order for you to succeed in stopping your own father from destroying the land you call home and the king that has the same blood that runs in your veins.

#nnr disney event #nnr kny #reader is so badass here #kny #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu tanjiro #tanjiro kamado #tanjiro x reader #tanjiro oneshots #tanjiro fluff #tanjiro scenarios #kny oneshots #kny x reader #kny kamaboko #kny kamaboko squad #kny kamado #kny inosuke #kny zenitsu

[askmerriauthor]

Rampant spoilers for the anime "Super Cub" after the jump, for those of you who want to avoid such. As much as it should be obvious, below are my personal opinions and what I experienced in watching the show, so YMMV.

I've had a few days to mull over my thoughts on the whole matter since that initial kneejerk post (ie, ramble at my ever-patient roommate about stuff she barely tolerates). My thoughts have come to the conclusion that I'm more annoyed with the writers' direction than the protag Koguma herself. As I thought back on it, I felt as though Koguma suddenly went rather out-of-character for how she'd been depicted thus far shortly after the introduction of Shii. It felt as though Shii took on the role that Koguma had previously filled while Koguma became more like Reiko, which is two Reikos too many if you ask me.

From the get-go I was all rooting for Koguma. She was a very sympathetic character dealt a brutally raw deal, and I was keen on seeing her finally get a break. The show did a great job of highlighting those moments of sedate depression and momentary surges of happiness that covered her day-to-day life. Given how much I outright hated Reiko (seriously, this girl is an inconsiderate pain in the ass), having her around made Koguma all the more likeable. Doubly so when Koguma started calling out Reiko on her bullshit as they settled into an old-married-couple sort of dynamic. Reiko is like some kind of weird inversion of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope, where all her antics are just self-indulgent rather than a mere plot device to fix the protag's life. While she undeniably has a positive influence on Koguma's life and the two make a good pair, I can't shake my constant annoyance with how selfish Reiko is. Koguma was a hard counter to Reiko and it made their interactions a lot more fun.

So then we have the introduction of Shii: the purest of cinnamon rolls. Shortly after Shii's arrival into the story, Koguma suddenly started acting more like Reiko. Both Cub-riders acted aloof and superior because of their Cubs (normally it was just Reiko doing that, but Koguma started too), Shii was constantly being left behind, and despite her efforts to be their friend they just blew her off whenever they pleased. I started to get that sinking feeling when Koguma and Reiko visited Shii's family cafe when they stuck around just long enough to have a free cup of coffee, then immediately bailed and ditched Shii when the urge to do something with their bikes came up, leaving Shii confused that they weren't going to stick around and visit any longer. That struck me as this sort of "wow, they're being extremely rude and taking her for granted..." kind of moment. And it just kept happening! I get that we only see glimpses of the overall progression of time throughout the girls' year and there were surely plenty of off-screen visits where they actually hung out together. But all we as the audience get to see were these highlight moments that made Koguma and Reiko seem like lousy friends just taking advantage of Shii's kindness.

Things really came to a head in the pivotal winter episode, since that one rang weird against everything building up to it prior. The writing had made a big to do for a good three episodes prior about how winter is a major problem and dangerous, especially for bike riders. The Cub-riders spent that entire time worrying about it and taking precautions to protect themselves from the cold. Then, in the spirit of having a good time, promptly went and frolicked about in the snow on their Cubs while discarding all their protective gear down to t-shirts (because falling off your bike at high-speeds is just good fun, apparently?). Which didn't do any favors toward the whole "not being good friends to Shii" when Shii voiced disappointment on them not even thinking to invite her at all. Then, later on in the episode when Shii crashes into the river, Koguma is massively foolhardy and channeling the full force of the Honda marketing team with the idiotic "My Super Cub is coming to the rescue" bullshit. Friend potentially injured and suffering hypothermia after being stuck in an ice-cold river in the middle of winter for hours? Just strap her to the front of the Super Cub like Mad Max: Fury Road! Wind chill by driving at high-speeds in the middle of the night in winter isn't a problem to someone who's already soaking wet and chilled to the core, right? Call an ambulance? The police? Her parents? Nah. Who needs that? We have "THE SUPER CUB". I mean, seriously, Koguma couldn't have at least ditched her storage bin off the back of the bike and let Shii actually sit on the bike to hold onto her, or given the freezing, injured tiny girl her winter coat to try and protect her, or do anything beyond the bare minimum to show some level of emotional concern and willingness to sacrifice for her supposed friend?

It's an outright miracle/convenience of the plot that Shii didn't suffer massive consequences as a result of her accident and Koguma's foolishness. After the fact, while Shii is recovering at Koguma's apartment, neither Koguma nor Reiko show the least bit of concern for her even when she has an outright emotional breakdown; hell, Reiko's selfishness is on full display throughout, both toward Koguma and Shii regardless. Reiko actually has the poor taste to celebrate the whole mess when Shii's parents give the girls free food for a year out of gratitude for saving their daughter! Then afterward, when the girls go on their Spring-seeking road trip, it wasn't even framed as a way to try and ease Shii's trauma from her experience but just as something they wanted to do because they were sick of the winter interfering with their ability to ride their Cubs as much as they pleased. By the final episode, when Koguma's inner monologue echoes the sentiment she'd voiced throughout - that she has no family, no friends, no hobbies or goals - I was expecting the obvious change in her acknowledging that, yes, she now did have at least some of those things. In that scene she was literally riding alongside her new friends on their Cubs, which certainly qualified as a hobby. But, nope! She reiterated that her situation hadn't changed at all, but that it was okay because she had her beloved Super Cub to give her life some meaning, and any improvements she experienced were solely due to it.

It just... it all left a really bad taste in my mouth. I get that the anime was ostensibly a big Honda commercial at its core, sure, but it really felt like the writing sacrificed the quality of both characters and story for the sake of pushing how amazing their bikes are. Koguma herself shifted from being a no-nonsense, methodical sort of person to being reckless and callous like Reiko, then stopped being an actual character and just a vehicle - pun always intended - for talking up the Super Cub. The last time Koguma felt like Koguma, to me, was right when Shii was introduced and she wanted to try and help out using their bikes to solve a problem, which she never would have/could have done prior. The overall shift away from Koguma's core and into some kind of semi-Reiko/overt Honda shill got ridiculous and frankly really annoying for me.

#super cub #anime #spoilers #all this said I would really like to see some kind of crossover with Laid Back Camp #Apparently Super Cub also takes place in the same universe as Non Non Biyori and that's adorable