#Very abnormal about this au and this concept and fuck man

[unknownarmageddon]

half of the fuckin tags got deleted so I have retyped the whole thing. enjoy

-

"donations? nah i ain't big on kid charities. now if ya got anythin that goes towards cats? well, i might be a lil' more generous."

"sorry sir, i'm afraid we don't have any linked charities for cats."

"horrible business move if ya ask me. cats are wayyyy more worth savin' than some disease riddled kids."

"...uh. please don't insult cancer patient, sir."

"n'less them cancer patients are kitcats, the who cares, amiright?"

"..."

"so what's my total?"

"t- oh- that'll be 14.86."

"y'got tabs here?"

"tabs-?"

"i'm broke as fuck sweetheart, can't afford no 15 buck drinks. cantcha jus' put it on a tab for me?"

"i'm afraid we don't engage in that practice. you have to either pay in cash, card, or just return the items."

"hm. y'know what, i gotta better plan." killer sets a large combat knife on the counter as if it were another item and flashes cross a charming smile full of ill intent. his canine glint in the low light of the freezers.

cross freezes and takes an aborted step back.

"w-woah hey man-"

"i got ten bucks, pal," killer says conversationally. "tell me again what my total is?"

"listen man, i-"

"what's my total?"

cross swallows harshly and deftly taps his fingers across the register machine. the total price listed drops to a flat 0.00$

Killer hums good naturedly and slaps a ten dollar bill on the counter.

"'preciate it, babe," he says as if he hadn't just threated cross. he shoots cross a wink and takes the knife in slender, gloved hands, flipping it back and forth along his exposed fingers in a practiced, smooth motion and for a moment, cross didn't do anything. then killer spun the blade to grip it by the scuffed pommel and tapped the flat of it on the counter.

"y'gonna bag these or d'ya expect me to carry 'em myself?" killer asked with a crooked smile.

cross unfroze at the prompt, scrambling to gather the items and back them, his soul thrumming in his chest like warning bells going off. his hands fumbled with the bags and he grit his teeth as he peeled the plastic bags open and put the pack of monster energy drinks inside. a snickers bar thwapped onto the counter, making cross flinch back harshly as if struck.

"go on 'n add this for me," killer said and cross's trembling fingers plucked the chocolate bar to stuff it in the bag with the drinks. he picked up the bag and it it out and, internally, he begged for the other to take it and leave.

killer spun the knife [cross had a faint feeling that he was showing off] before he bent to the side a little, reaching down to slip the knife into the holster tied to his femur and he reached over to grab the bag.

their fingers brushed and cross made to yank his hand back, startled at the feeling, but there was a flash of something in killer's pitch black eyes and, quick as a striking cobra, he caught cross's hand and held it in what felt like should've been a loose hold but it was unrelenting and firm, keeping cross's hand in killer's despite how hard he yanked.

he half expected to see that knife again but rather than silver flashing, it was a hint of pink sparking on killer's face and he shifted his grip to hold cross's hand in what cross mentally dubbed the princess hold, with cross's index, middle, ring, and pinky finger curled over the side of killer's hand.

cross's mind shortcircuted so hard that a forest fire immediately lit aflame in his mind and everything fell into chaos and confusion that he couldn't articulate with anything but sputtering and flailing his other hand as killer pulled cross's hand towards himself and pressed a gentlemanly kiss to cross's knuckles.

"thanks for the business, sweetheart," killer drawled and cross's soul squeezed in confused fluster as killer let his hand go and took the bag. he saluted cross with two fingers, "see ya pretty boy," and spun on his heel, his sneakers squealing on the tile and he damn near skipped away, whistling some stupid tune that sounded familiar.

cross blinked as the door chimed open and closed with a clank and holy shit he just got robbed and flirted with simultaneously what the FUCK

and he pulls his hand [which was still in the air where killer left it] to his chest and clutches it tightly, his fingers feeling tingly, and like whiplash, purple erupted across his face. he gripped his hand so hard that the bones creaked in protest, his breath unsteady.

"holy shit," he whispered, feeling thoroughly dumbfounded. numbly, he picked up the cash the robber left behind with the intent to put it away so he could get the hell out of here, but as soon as his fingers brushed it, he gave an incredulous noise as he picked up the bill and discovered immediately that it was fucking monopoly money.

"that fuckin-!!" his bit his tongue hard enough to draw blood and quickly flipped the paper bill over the instant he spotted splotchy marks left from marker ink that bled through the paper. on the backside, he found the source; a fucking phone number and the worst god damned hand writing he's seen in his 5 years of working this job.

'call me <3'

cross gaped down at the writing in utter disbelief, his magic thundering in his skull in time with his soulbeat. a laugh bubbled up his throat as his legs went weak and he leaned heavily against the counter, sinking slowly to his knees and pressing his forehead to the hard edge of the counter and pressing a hand to his face as he chuckled a little hysterically.

he took a double take, glancing again at the paper just to see if he was losing his mind, but no, the writing was still there. cross's chuckling turned into a full-on belly laugh tinged with a note of hysteria and he hunched over fully, cackling into the filthy floor until tears streamed down his face from it all

"what the FUCK, what the fuck," he giggled, shaking so hard he could hear his bones rattling. no one's going to believe him.

hi I’m insane

I am INSANE dude what the fuck /pos/pos

what if I fucking exploded

#Like I don’t even have anything to say this is great actually holy shit man #insane. Insane #answering asks #chair asks #chair!! #Cross x Killer #Dying perishing weeping wailing etc etc #Very abnormal about this au and this concept and fuck man #so very abnormal #I love the concept of Cross just being some guy working a register of this bland ass gas station and Killer just waltzes in one day and #proceeds to fucking. Pull his shit #I dunno man but I am ill. chronically #I think next to aka this is like. One of my overall favorite kross aus which I think is saying a lot #Rental suits AU

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

ok ummm ummmmmmm ummmmm. im going to try to arrange this in a way that makes sense umm umm

-Starting this off with the concept that They are like. cosmic eldritch entities that live in the very depths of the sea. like, mind-melting sea creatures that lurk at the very bottom of the oceans

-And if you ever get down there and ARENT crushed by the weight of the ocean completely tearing you asunder. you will probably be turned INTO one of those cosmic eldritch mind-melting sea creatures. because your Mind got Melted

-to keep up with the performer motif (bc. i like it its one of my favorite motifs). and also as a nod to summoning sea beasts in sea of thieves (my main inspiration for any pirate au and i'm not even ashamed to say it), i like to think that They- whatever they are- have an affinity to song and worship through such, due to the ancient people who worshiped them before in a similar manner. while not placated by it, they're attracted to it and they think its kind of funny

-um ok now picture this. Creature Seeker maxwell carter going out in search of Powerful Beasts to harness the ability of. with, of course, the aid of his musically talented assistant, charlie whatsherface. the two of them sailing off like "oh no charlie dw abt it i've had sooo many encounters with fucked up sea beasts. if you just lure it in through. song or something like that. then i'll handle the rest and it'll be fine"

-it wasn't fine

-while Maxwell didn't suffer enough damage to permanently doom himself to the fate of being a Complete and Utter Sea Freak, charlie absolutely could not say the same. she's a Sea Freak now. what type? oh i'm not sure. though i've been considering either a squid type creature (darkening the waters with jet black ink and having many tendrils for grabbing and clawing would fit in with a lot of her motifs) or maybe a lurefish like creature (bc lurefish are freaking based)

-max, caught horrifyingly somewhere between being half a sea beast and half a man, spent who knows HOW long just kind of. being stuck down there in The Deep- desperately trying both to evade Them (+ charlie) as well as actually make it up to the surface

-though i don't know much of where i plan to shoehorn him in outside the fact, i think it only makes sense that wilson is the one to 'find' him- probably on accident while trying to dredge up other, lesser (but still dangerous) sea beasts and kinda. catching him in the crossfire. not like max is going to complain though he's been stuck in The Deep for like. years. getting dragged back up by the neck is a small price to pay to get sunlight and surface air again

-this is where things fall apart a little bit bc the parts i've added the most sustenance to in regards to this hypothetical are the parts where my favs are involved. but i was kind of thinking something along the lines of a steadily building ragtag group of criminals totally regular and cool and NOT criminal pirates coming together for one common goal

-said common goal actually just. an excuse for max to try to get charlie out of the deep. but he doesn't tell them that, or that she's down there, or that he's been down there (ignore the fact he looks abnormally pale and has slits on his throat stop asking a man about the slits on his throat don't you know that's fucking impolite)

-the only person who probably KNOWS max's angle is. winona. who probably knew max at least a little bit before he went gallivanting off with her little sister and nearly got the both of them freaking murdered. she kind of reluctantly has to keep everything under wraps a little bit, if only because the two of them need the others to see this plan through to the end, and if the rest knew the stakes they were dealing with they might bail out

-but like. idk the rest of them are there probably for reasons that loosely align with their standard reasons for coming into the constant to begin with (wilson desiring the recognition of capturing an evolutionary marvel, willow getting to spend the rest of her life in peace knowing the shores of her home won't be haunted by Sea Beasts anymore (chat nobody tell her they're not actually planning on killing the 'sea beast'), and um. ect ect.

-also wagstaff in the bg maybe trying to tame said Sea Beasts to obey his every whim? who knows

-and theres sea shanties also :)

#theres other stuff too. mainly wigfried related obviously #but. nobody cares abt wigfried except for me and everyone else on earth so #idk im going off the wall. i need to start playing so/t again. for my health. #i need one hour of saltwater a day for my health i think

[maggins]

Maggie, my beloved, please share with us your inukag fic recs….

oH ANON MY BELOVED prepare yourself because i have sO MANY RECS and i'm still discovering new fics to read every day it's become overwhelming aaaAAA

anyway, gonna start off with one author in particular: @artistefish!! i've read through maybe 90% of her inuyasha fics, all ranging from one shots to full fledged multichapter stories, and i tell you i will NOT stop singing my praises about how imaginative and creative and charming her stories and AU's are! she's also a GREAT artist and very often the fics in this list have great art to go along with them, so be sure to check out her blog for art as well!! 🥰🥰🥰 here are some of my favorites:

Freak Attraction (AO3) and its sequel, Freak Attraction: Seven Man Circus (AO3) : an AU set in the Meiji era where Inuyasha has been paraded as a freak in a demon circus and Kagome is a schoolgirl who takes it upon herself to set him free. i think this was the first fic/AU 've read from this author and i'm in LOVE with every aspect of it, from the setting to the plot itself to the sweet, sweet developing romance scenes ;;v;; (i'd also recommend checking AF's tags for FA and SMC in her blog for some great art!! i also have a tag specifically for in in my blog lmao)

Miroku Private Eye (AO3) and its prequel Dizzy Defense for an Underdog (AO3) : a magNIFICENT 30's AU that i'm still working on reading through; but i tell you i've already read Dizzy Defense and i'm in absolute love w/ Inuyasha and Kagome in this universe ;;v;; (some side stories!! | AF's tags in her blog: #dizzy defense, #30s au, #mpe | her sideblog @bloodhoundandkitten that i HIGHLY recommend you check out, i'm so in love with it ;;v;; | my tag for this au #iy 30's au

Abnormalities (AO3) : DID SOMEONE ORDER ANGST?? WE GOT SOME ANGST OVER HERE!!! :''')))) okay okay, this is an AU in which instead of staying in the feudal era, Inuyasha and Kagome got stranded in the present era post-series, but it didn't bode well for them once some scientists got wind of their strange powers and abducted them. this one broke me, i tell you 😭 (AF's tag #abnormalities | my tag #fic: abnormalities)

The Last Dog Demon : a The Last Unicorn AU featuring dog demon!Inuyasha and samurai!Kagome (and Miroku and Sango as Schmendrik and Molly Grue respectively which is honestly perfect). i gotta say, i saw that movie for the first time specifically so i could get some insight into what this AU was all about, bc when i saw the art and concepts for it i fell in love with it!! it's still p early in the story, but if you check AF's tag for it you can get some GREAT stuff ;v;

Ghost Hunt AU : oooOOOHHH BOY lemme tell you, ghost au’s are the WORST bc many of them involve the characters not being in the same physical plane, and therefore there being many variations of not being able to see, hear, or touch each other no matter how much they want to, and that kind of pining KILLS ME!!!! yet i still flock toward that shit and have no one to blame but mysELF ASDASFAgAS...... ahem anyway. it’s a ghost au. Inuboy is a 500+(?) year old ghost who’s bound to a decrepit old mansion. Kagome’s a sceptic yet well meaning sister who accompanies her little bro in his ghost hunts. tragic hijinks ensue. please check these tags. i also keep track of it. cry. enjoy. :’)))

honorable mention to the Mummy AU : it has no fic but it has some fantastic art; and honestly, Inu and Kagome as O’Connell and Evelyn fits them sO WELL it’s almost uncanny ashfashg (plu Moroha as Alex?? Miroku as Johnathan?! SANGO AS ARDETH???!! sign me the fuck up)

also wanna mention some of her fics i haven’t gotten to yet but i’m very much planning to: An Epic, Tragic Love Story; The Delinquent Boyfriend; A Memory of Red Flame; and Do Your Own Stunts. i’ll get to them eventually ahsgdasghd

still with artistefish, a collection of one-shots and miscellaneous fics that i really enjoyed:

First Born Sons (ngl this one utterly DESTROYED ME and put me back together by the end 🥺😭😭😭)

He Just Wouldn't Stop

Delayed Reactions

More than a little Distracting 

Pros and Cons of Puppy Ears

By Their Fruits

A Mother's Request

Only One Way To Know (honestly i just love the concept of the well being open post-series even if that’s not quite what happened in canon okay Kagome’s family deserves to be part of her life 🥺)

Smell

White Dogs on Blue Cotton

All of your Flaws and All of my Flaws (i’ll be absolutely honest: this one made me cry. a lot. just.... the concept of other people accepting you, flaws and all really hit home with me 🥺)

Her Favorite Present (another trope i wish i could see more of?? Kagome’s friends getting along with Inuyasha and helping him do sweet things for Kagome!! also them being Kagome’s pillars of support during the 3 year gap bc honestly, Kagome HAD to have told them the truth after the whole the-well-disappeared-and-kagome’s-bf’s-disembodied-voice-was-yelling-from-the-ground situation)

The Pilfered Bride 

There She Goes (an absolute GEM of a high school AU!!)

AND NOW that that’s out of the way; other recs from other authors! (these are in no particular order btw)

Light Me A Lantern by @inuyashasforest​

Never Was Easier by @nerdythangs

Under the Starlight by @fawn-eyed-girl

The Monster Under My Bed by @neutronstarchild

My Heart in Your Hands by @loveyou-x3000

Forever Changed by @lostinfantasyworlds

My Home, Your Heart by @fawn-eyed-girl

Eight Scars by @fawn-eyed-girl

Home 

The Most Solemn of Vows by @fawn-eyed-girl

Can Inuyasha Come Out and Play? by @neutronstarchild​

Your Name by @clearwillow​

Loving Him was Red by @born-for-eachother​

Caged Blood by @fawn-eyed-girl​

I Don't Deserve Happiness by @fawn-eyed-girl​

Hanyou

Warmth

these are honestly just the ones i HAVE checked out or am in the process of checking out (LMaL is so long but sO GOOD i wanna take my sweet sweet time with it lol), but WELP here you go i guess!! i just noticed a few of these aren’t outright inukag like you asked (i just can’t resist fics about Inu’s relationship with Izayoi and with Kagome’s mother asdgasfd) but oH WELL

please be sure to check out all the authors’s other works as well!! i actually just noticed many of my recs are from the same authors and honestly that’s as good an incentive as any to keep up with their work~ so.... much.... to read...!!!

EDIT: i forgot to mention this before but @inukag-archive has a TON of recs and you can ask them for some as well, so it’s a blog worth checking out~

#fic recs #inukag #inuyasha #iy fic #THIS TOOK A WHILE WELP #took even longer to read them all asjhfgasjhfgsa #bUT I HOPE THIS LIST PLEASES YOU #and i more than welcome anyone to drop their recs in the replies 👀👀👀

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

tuxedo iii, m | myg

pairing(s): yoongi x reader, mentions of previous jungkook x reader

summary: It’s the next morning. Your cat is still a man. Fuck. He still thinks he owns the place, including you. Sigh. Well, you still have to do your job, because, yikes, your cat-man has spent a small fortune on new clothes (spending like he’s got a black card, what’s up with that?). Ah, but... maybe both of you are starting to finally acknowledge that he might be a more man than cat – at least for the time being...?

warnings: rated M (18+) for language, mentions of the coronavirus pandemic; possibly full-on crack; mentions of and a tiny bit of smut (fem reader, spanking, doggy, unintentional??? voyeurism, dry humping / thigh riding); domestic and soft moments with your cat-man; non-idol!AU - cat!Yoongi x human!reader; ft slightly cocky Jeon Jungkook (+drama!!!) and bestfriend!Kim Seokjin; breaking of the fourth wall; are YOU a furry? yeah, I kinda think you are

*deep breath* I reference a certain boat that was stuck in the Suez Canal, Yoongi's livestream where he poked himself in the nose with the coffee straw, his love for tangerines, too many Twitch chat memes, that time his mom called him a boiled dumpling, 'BST' pink pajama Yoongi, DTS, TXT's 'Cat & Dog', etc...

–

part i | part ii

-

You woke up slowly. 

A perfect, peaceful morning. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Neck cradled by your memory foam pillow? Check. Back well supported by your soft mattress? Check. Not sleeping on your sofa and destroying your spine? Check. Hey, you’re moving up in life! Ah, what a normal day already. You opened your eyes a crack; vision blurred from the morning sunlight filtering through your curtains. Bundled in your minty-green duvet? Check. Wearing your extra soft black-and-white striped pajamas? Check. 

Large pale human hand firmly gripping your right titty? Check. 

Wait… 

What?

Your eyes snapped open and flew to your left. 

Min Yoongi's face was centimeters from yours, buried into your pillow, messy bedhead sticking out everywhere. Black choker with the tiny silver bell around his neck. Still had those black velvety pointed cat ears and glowing pale skin, pretty pink lips ever-so-slightly upturned, warm exhale against your ear. 

Your cat still a disturbingly handsome man?

Ah, yup, check. 

His hand was on your right breast, fingers molded to the soft curve. A quick glance and, whew, he was still fully dressed in his black t-shirt and sweatpants from yesterday. Yes, fully, completely dressed. Shit, what if he caught you staring? You quickly flickered your eyes up at the ceiling, hastily wiping the drool away from your mouth. Whoa there. That would be embarrassing if he caught that.

Also, kind of gross. Don’t be gross. Keep it together.

Hahaha…

Well, yup, this was still awkward, the whole hand-on-the-titty thing, hahaha, but not as awkward as it would be if, hahaha, you accidentally, oh, don't know, hahaha, got really, really, really disgustingly drunk and, hahaha, had somehow lost all impulse control and, hahaha, fucked your cat?

Man.

Cat-man. 

Hahaha, that would never happen. You’d make sure of that.

... 

Unless?

No, no, no, stop, he's your cat, your cat, he's literally been a (cat) man for one fucking day, albeit a incredibly hot, deliciously built (cat) man who put your facial massager on your nipple and let you touch his human dick in the shower and he was hard for a hot second, so... no, no, no, stop, you are not a desperate thot, get a fucking grip – well, you kind of are – but not him, for fuck’s sake, you still don't understand what the fuck is going on or if he even remotely likes you and, let's face it, he probably doesn’t because you almost paid a guy to chop off his nuts–

"Are you dying?"

You choked on air and lurched sharply at the sudden deep, raspy voice. The grip on your right breast tightened, preventing you from moving away. You did what any sensible human being would do in this situation and wheezed like you were on the verge of passing out. 

"Urk!"

"Do you have high blood pressure?" Yoongi yawned calmly, turning his face to the side to avoid breathing in your face, thereby pressing his body even closer to you. Your neck and ears heated to five billion degrees. "Your heart's beating abnormally fast. Maybe you should see a doctor."

You definitely needed to see a doctor for something as well as several gallons of holy water and a priest to get an exorcism for that horny demon inside you. 

"Y-Your hand!"

Yoongi grunted. "What about it?"

What about it???

"It's on my tits!" you squeaked.

Yoongi lifted his head, squinting. "It is." Then his head dropped and he closed his eyes again. 

HELLO, Min Yoongi? That's ALL you have to say???

"Is there a problem?"

IS THERE A PROBLEM???????

"I've always slept like this," he mumbled.

That's... true though. Your tuxedo cat, previously named Shooky until you realized he had his own name, did used to always sleep next to you, when he wasn’t trying to murder you by sitting on your chest, that is (he was adamant on letting you know when he needed breakfast). Usually, your cat was splayed out by your left side, his long body extended and pressed against you, his white, sock-like paws encircling your arm. Shooky had basically been a small furry heater that kicked you sometimes in his sleep. 

Keyword: small.

"Y-You w-were a cat!" you sputtered.

"I'm still a cat."

"No, you're a man! With arms!"

"The reach is a little farther. Who cares?"

WHO CARES???????

Before you could very loudly inform Yoongi who exactly cared – that’s you, by the way, yes, you – he wrapped his arms around you and yanked your body to his, turning you into a red-hot chili pepper with the amount of heat your face was now emitting. Then his free hand grabbed your other titty. Without asking! Without even so much as buying you dinner or, hell, giving you a goddamn cracker! You didn't need to be wined and dined, but at least a single fucking snack before using your tits like his own personal stress ball!

Yoongi pressed your back into his chest.

You froze. 

He pressed his crotch into your ass, shivering slightly.

Your soul left your body. 

"Ugh, this human body is terrible," Yoongi muttered. "Always so cold. I need this extra body heat or I'll die."

You'll die? YOU’LL DIE?

You were pretty sure that you were already dead. Rest in peace.

Hang on. 

Something was stuck in a very specific place, quite similar to a far-too-large boat in a narrow canal.

"Um."

Er...

"What?" your cat-man grunted.

"Your..." You gulped. "Dick."

"What about it?"

"You, uh... have morning wood."

"Is that a human euphemism?" he grumbled impatiently, clear annoyance in his tone. "I don't understand your species. Wouldn't it be easier to be straightforward and explain yourself clearly?"

A muscle in your eye twitched, reaching breaking point.

"Your dick is rock-hard and you're shoving it between my ass cheeks!"

"Yeah, so? It's cold too."

Your irritation fizzled out at Yoongi’s self-assured, completely calm response. In fact, he sounded borderline bored and exasperated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. His hard dick was cold, so he put it in the warmest place he could find, your ass, duh. Nothing weird about it, of course. Your mind reeled, unable to compute what the fuck was going on. Thus, your body did what it did best in these moments where you did not want to give a response that would most certainly expose you and your dire need to get dicked.

Not deal with it, of course.

You fainted.

-

"Fuck!"

You shot out of bed at the harsh yell, tangled in the covers, barely registering that Yoongi no longer had a death grip on your tits – in fact, he was no longer in bed at all – and stumbled towards the source of the sound, highly disoriented, your earlier fainting spell turning you into a bumbling mess.

Admittedly, not that different from your usual self.

(Ouch, roasted.)

"What, what, what?" you croaked, running into the doorframe of the bedroom and nearly taking yourself out. 

Might as well, maybe it would have been a blessing in disguise, considering the way your life was going. 

You finally tumbled your way to the kitchen, where your cat-man was hissing at the pan on the stove. 

"I was trying to make eggs," Yoongi spat, pointing accusingly at the frying pan. His ears were flat and his tail was sticking straight up. "And then it attacked me."

If you had three functioning brain cells, you would have remembered Yoongi putting his morning wood between your ass cheeks this morning, but alas, you only had two at the moment – you did run into the doorframe, might have lost one there – so instead you nudged him aside and rolled up your sleeves, taking the pan and shaking it so the eggs wouldn't burn. 

"Was it the oil? Sometimes it pops," you asked as Yoongi continued death glaring at the pan.

"I saw you doing this yesterday. You didn't seem bothered," he mumbled, finishing with a low, angry hiss as if the pan was sentient and mocking him. The oil popped and seared your forearm, but at this point you maybe had five hair follicles total on your arms with how many times hot oil had splattered in you. It used to bother you when you were a kid, but years of cooking had desensitized the feeling, turning it to nothing more than a mere annoyance. Yoongi stayed behind you, intermittently letting out hisses of rage as you cooked.

"I told you, my dad's a chef. You get used to it," you said, tipping the pan and flipping the thin egg pancake with ease. 

"That's bizarre," Yoongi muttered. "No normal animal gets used to pain."

Normality was starting to become a bit of a foreign concept to you.  As for being an animal, well…

You took the pan off the heat and rolled the egg onto a plate with a spare set of chopsticks, turning it into a log shape. A literal egg roll, ready to be sliced into bite-sized pieces. You took a sniff. It seemed to be seasoned already. Had Yoongi simply copied what you did yesterday? His observation skills were insane.

"Then again, you seem to enjoy–"

"Yoongi," you blurted, not wanting to know what he thought you seemed to enjoy, but very sure it was going to be one-hundred-percent embarrassing and only for you. "There's some leftover beef and vegetables in the fridge you can have with the egg and rice."

He raised his eyebrows. "Beef? Why didn't you say so earlier?"

Because I was asleep and maybe half-dead? "Did you brush your teeth?' you asked suddenly. 

Yoongi scowled. "Unfortunately."

"Right, so should I, goodbye now."

You marched away hurriedly, trying not to think about how your cat had surely witnessed you getting spanked while being fucked from behind by none other than, surprise, surprise, his not-so-favorite human being, Jeon Jungkook. Tattoo guy strikes again. The worst part was, you couldn't lock the door on your cat either, because then he would meow incessantly while you were getting deep-dicked and that was even worse. 

"Your cat really likes you, huh?" Jungkook mused as you yanked open the bedroom door to the black-and-white tuxedo furball. 

"Like is a strong word," you muttered at your cat, who yawned and sauntered past you to his cat tree, acting like he owned the damn place. 

"I like you."

"Hah... wait, what?"

Jungkook grinned as your eyes found his. Took a while. You were a little distracted by his nakedness. His tattoos up his right arm. His tan skin. His muscles. His white teeth biting on his lower lip, tiny mole underneath flashing. His long black hair, framing dark chocolate eyes and teasing, cocked eyebrow. 

"I like you," he repeated, voice deep and sexy.

You turned red and made the most coherent noise you could. 

“... Urk?”

“Noona.”

Why did he look so fucking hot and disrespectful at the same time when saying an honorific?

Jungkook came up to you, hand cupping your head and tangling his fingers in your hair. He brought his face close to yours, lips brushing against your swollen ones, taking your breath away.

"Wanna go back to me spanking you while you get off on my dick?"

Respectfully, of course. 

"How much rice do you want?"

You started, poking yourself in the nose with your toothpaste-covered toothbrush and smearing mint up your nostril – almost as bad as poking a coffee straw up your nose during a livestream in front of millions of people, yikes – as Yoongi appeared behind you, breaking you out of the memory. Your cat-man watched you with mild disgust and displeasure as you coughed and dunked your head into the sink, hurriedly rinsing off your burning nose.

"Whatever, I'll just fill it halfway."

And he left you sputtering, pajamas and hair soaking wet in your haste.

Awesome. 

-

“I’m ordering some groceries,” you announced in between bites of rice and egg. You tapped lightly at the phone screen as you spoke. Green onions, tofu, cucumbers… “Do you want anything?”

“Meat.”

You swiped rapidly and added packages of chicken, pork, and beef into your cart. Why the fuck not? You like meat. All kinds of–

“Yes, Yoongi, I’m getting meat. Anything else?”

“What else is there?”

You made a face and handed him your phone. “All sorts of things. Household products too, in case you don’t want to smell like my soap.”

“Your soap is preferable,” he said absentmindedly, scrolling through the online grocery app. You continued eating, shoving things in your mouth and none of it dick. Sad. At least it tasted good. Your cat-man had seasoned the egg well. You jumped as Yoongi spoke again. “I want these.” He turned the phone around.

You squinted at the screen, staring at a picture of orange balls. “Tangerines? Why?”

He turned the phone back to him. “They’re small, round, and look tasty.”

You blinked at him, then shrugged. “Sure, why not? I guess your palette might have changed. Try whatever you want.”

He pursed his lips and pressed a few buttons as you ate. You realized you needed to order more groceries now that your cat was a man eating your human food and no longer a cat eating his rather expensive cat food. Sigh. You had put Shooky’s cat bowls in a cabinet earlier this morning before sitting down to eat. It seemed weird leaving them out on the floor like that. Kind of offensive, maybe, now that your cat was a man and all…

“Okay, I ordered it.”

“Ah, okay, that’s good. They’ll probably come later this week.”

-

After breakfast, you spent nearly half an hour with Yoongi trying to pick out something for him to watch from your various streaming services, only for him to select a historical drama series. Like what? You cat (man) wanted to watch historical drama out of all things? Instead of learning about the modern world, he wanted to watch a depiction of the past?

Whatever, it had seventy-seven episodes, so at least he would be occupied for a while.

You let him be and went to your computer, intending on getting some editing done. Sure, the universe decided your cat was a man now, but you still needed to pay for said cat-man’s existence. You still didn’t know what you were going do to with all that cat food, cat toys, cat tree… ugh, this was all a problem for future you, not present you.

Present you needed to splice five-hundred images of PepeHands together and overlay it over a League of Legends one-shot compilation.

Uh, so, it was this meme of a green frog named Pepe holding up his anthropomorphic hands in despair, therefore coining the term PepeHands for a particular Twitch chat emote… never mind, it just meant you were spending some time video editing for a gaming YouTuber and it required concentration, shitty memes, and well-timed captions. And you were getting paid good money to do this.

Yeah, it’s a weird world.

You sat at your desktop and got to work, doing the rough cuts of the video first. Thankfully, the YouTuber had already sent you the timestamps of the noteworthy moments, therefore making your job a lot easier. You spent several hours compiling the clips before adding your extra flair and effects. You had a library of images and sound bites that you commonly used (including Goofy singing Evanescence's ‘Bring Me to Life’) and was in the middle of grayscaling a video clip and adding the familiar audio of all around me are familiar faces before being scared shitless.

“Woof.”

You swore someone was singing ‘Mad World’ as they were narrating your life right now.

“Gah!”

You jerked in your seat to see Yoongi leaning over behind you, eyebrow raised as you gawked at him.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that!” you exclaimed, pulling back an earcup of your headset.

He frowned. “How can I sneak up on you?” He flicked the silver bell on the black choker around his neck, making it jingle cheerfully. “You put stupid thing on me, remember?”

You winced. “Well, I’d take it off, but there’s some kind of voodoo magic on that shit – and hey, don’t change the subject! You have that weird cat thing where you’re silent no matter what.”

Yoongi looked unbothered. “Weird cat thing? Thought you said I was a man?”

“Thought you said you were a cat?” you shot back.

You glared at him and he gave you a blank expression. Then he cocked his head to your desk.

“Your phone is flashing.”

You jerked your head to see your phone screen flicker. You grabbed it off you desk and unlocked it, checking your messages. Five messages from – ah, but of course – your best friend. Kim Seokjin.

LET ME SEE YOUR CAT

LET ME SEE YOUR CAT

LET ME SEE YOUR CAT

LET ME SEE YOUR CAT

LET ME SEE YOUR CAT

You pursed your lips. With the pandemic and all, you hadn’t visited Seokjin in forever, but every week he would text you, asking for a photo of your cat and he would send you a picture of his sugar glider. With every week being the same and nothing interesting of note happening, it was hard to think of conversation topics. Therefore, Seokjin and you came up with this weekly event so your friendship wouldn’t deteriorate. Also, both of you were serious introverts, so he spent most of this pandemic playing MapleStory while you spent most of it on your couch watching Netflix with your cat. It was a miracle you two hadn’t morphed into actual potatoes yet.

You glanced at Yoongi, who was inspecting his nails and picking at them. You frowned and batted at his hand. He frowned back and smacked yours, harder. You glared at him. He gave you a vacant stare, as if he had done nothing.

“Why are you picking at your cuticles?” you muttered, going back to your phone and sending Seokjin an old picture of Shooky. You couldn’t exactly send him a picture of current Shooky. He was… well, currently not a cat. You stared at the picture of the fluffy tuxedo cat curled into a ball, asleep in your lap on the couch.

That moment wasn’t even that long ago.

Somehow, it felt like ages since you had last petted that furry butt.

“Hm, dunno. Occupies my hands, I guess,” Yoongi replied distractedly.

“Well, you shouldn’t. It’s not good for you.” You noticed you had another message from the local delivery service, saying a package had arrived at your doorstep. You stood, placing your phone on the desk and looked at Yoongi, who was staring at his old cat tree, the one by the window. When he was a cat, he used to poke his head between the curtains and look outside, watching the birds. It was his favorite haunt.

Now…

“Why’d you say woof?” you asked abruptly, giving him a quizzical look. “I thought you were a cat.”

Yoongi shrugged, tearing his eyes away from the cat tree to give you an uninterested stare. “Thought it would surprise you more. You’ve heard meow for long enough.”

You furrowed your brow. “Why would you want to surprise me?”

He shrugged again. “I was bored.”

“… You were bored so you decided to sneak up and scare the shit out of me?”

He paused, black tail swishing back and forth, pointed ears perked. Then he nodded.

“Yup.”

Sigh.

-

You lugged in the huge cardboard box, Yoongi standing out of sight of the front door as you huffed and puffed with your weak arms. Okay, it wasn’t even that big, but it was quite heavy and you weren’t exactly John Cena. Your arms were about as strong as a bowl of overcooked ramyeon noodles and that was putting it kindly. You weren’t the working out type. People who worked out diligently were dog people. People who preferred sleeping as their primary workout regimen had cats. What were the kinds of people who had cat-men then? The kind of people who like sleeping, but also needed a…

(You already know the answer.)

Yoongi snapped the door closed the second you managed to pull it on far enough to do so.

“You look like a boiled dumpling,” he commented.

“At least I’m delicious food,” you wheezed, inspecting the box. You recognized the clothing brand. “Is this the stuff your ordered? How did it come so fast?”

“I selected next-day delivery.”

You paled.

“I need clothes as soon as possible, don’t I? Or should I go back to being naked, since you’re a pervert?”

You choked, ears burning. “I’m not a pervert!”

“Mhm.”

You tried not to think about the hit on your wallet as you grabbed your keys from the side table and opened the box, seeing all the plastic packages inside. Monotone, in white or black. Figures. You tipped the box to the side and the clothes spilled out, tumbling all over the floor. It took a firm shake to dump it all on the ground. You got on your hands and knees to spread them out, tossing the cardboard aside carelessly to shift through the items. Hopefully, Yoongi had read the listings and selected the correct sizes. From your brief glance, you noticed the tops were quite oversized. Maybe he liked that fit? He had been quite a fluffy cat.

You spotted the packing slip with all the prices listed. You fished it out and then heard a thunk-thunk-thunk, the sound of cardboard on hardwood. Huh?

You looked up to see Yoongi swatting the box around.

“What… are you doing?”

He shrugged. “Investigating.”

You blinked. “Investigating what?”

“Don’t know. I simply feel the need to investigate, thus I am doing so.”

You stared at Yoongi for several minutes as he continued to… uh, investigate (???) the cardboard box, holding it this way and that, smacking it around, watching the flaps bounce in the air as it rolled. His velvety ears perked upwards, sleek black tail swishing with interest.

His expression was completely neutral.

For the first time since becoming a human, you thought Yoongi was more cat than man.

“Uh… okay…”

You glimpsed down to the paper in your hands, seeing the total cost.

You felt the color drain out of your face.

My… wallet…

F in the chat.

You fainted.

-

You felt someone poking you in the head.

“Are you dead?”

You gasped and jerked up like a drown victim coming up for air, still in mild shock of the sudden financial hit of your cat becoming a man. It was okay. You weren’t poor. You just didn’t expect Yoongi to be a shopping like he owned a fucking black card.

“Did I spend too much?”

You snapped out of your stunned state at his soft tone. Yoongi wasn’t looking at you. He was kneeling on top of the pile of clothes, dark eyes on the paper in your shaking hands. With a start, you realized his words were heavy with guilt, his ears pointing downwards and tail tucked against the ground.

“No,” you said quickly, putting the receipt down. “No, Yoongi. I asked you to buy clothes, remember? And besides, it’s better for you to buy things you like and are interested in, rather than me wasting money on things you’ll never wear.”

He raised his head a little, eyes darting from your face to your hands.

You smiled at him, reaching up to pat his head and stroke the fur on his ears. “Hey, don’t worry. It’s only money. Money will never be more important to me than you, okay?”

For a second, you saw something flicker in Yoongi’s eyes. It was so fast that you barely caught it. Relief? Gratitude? Fondness? Then he ticked his head out of your hand, fair cheeks flushing pink.

“You… you don’t have to do that,” he muttered.

“O… oh.” For some reason, you felt a pang in your chest at his words. “R-right.”

Yoongi made eye contact with you, dark brown orbs guarded. He spoke quietly, without emotion.

“Do you wish this never happened?”

“What?” You furrowed your brows. “What do you mean?”

He gestured to himself, waving a hand up and down carelessly. “This. Human me.”

Human me.

You answered instantly.

“No.”

Yoongi gave you the disbelieving side-eye.

You let out a sheepish puff of air. “I always kind of wished you were human.” You scratched the back of your head aimlessly. “No one listened to me like you did. Even if I was having the shittest day of all time, you always made it better. You were the best cat ever.” You chuckled, smiling up at him. “Sure, your species changed, but you’re still the same, right?”

His eyes shifted, his cheeks still a light pink. “I’m still a cat,” he mumbled awkwardly.

You raised your brows. “Mhm, is that why you were playing with the box?”

“I wasn’t playing with the box,” Yoongi huffed, sounding insulted.

“Then I’ll break it down and recycle it.”

“No,” he snapped firmly. “It’s useful. We’re keeping it.”

“We don’t need a box, Yoongi.”

He tutted. “Hmph, humans. So wasteful. A perfectly good box should be reused.”

“Right.”

You tried to hide your laugh as Yoongi refused to look you in the eye.

-

You left Yoongi to examine his new wardrobe on the floor. You tried to pick them up but he stubbornly remained on the pile of clothes, not letting you move them. When you stood up to leave, you asked him when he was going to move – he replied with, "When it feels right", just cat things, you supposed – and hurried off to export the edited video you were working on earlier. The due date was today and you had to review it for quality.

A certain quality. 

A certain quality of... of... 

Needing the money.

Because your cat (man) had spent fat chunk of it on clothes, only to be more interested in the box they came in and sitting on said clothes rather than the actual items themselves. 

Sigh. 

-

"I ordered the wrong color."

"Oh?" you muttered distractedly, clocking on the export button. You'd been going cross-eyed for the past two or three hours – had it really been that long? shit – and checked your phone to see Gukmul, Seokjin's white sugar glider, peering up at the camera on a white fluffy blanket. You smiled, typing a response to praise his cuteness, completely ignoring the fact that Seokjin had also stuck his handsome face in the photo, smiling with a thumbs-up next to his pet. 

The reply was instant. 

hello, acknowledge my BEAUTIFUL FACE

You deliberately didn't answer right away to piss Seokjin off even more. 

"What's wrong with it?" you asked, looking up. 

Your jaw dropped. 

You dropped your phone. 

Yoongi, your cat-man with excellent reflexes, made absolutely no move to catch it. 

It smacked you in the calf and hit your toes – fucking ow, holy shit – before clattering to the floor. You had a protective phone case on it with a cute tuxedo cat graphic. The screen wouldn't crack with the protector on it. In this moment, however, you didn't give a shit about your smartphone, Kim Seokjin, or even the blinding pain in your foot. Nope. 

You were ogling at Min Yoongi in pink silk pajamas.

-

We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to–

Oi!

No, don't you dare scroll past! You think you're clever or something?! Hm? Advertisements always happen at the most crucial parts, you say? 

This is just an ad? 

Look here, Lemona Vitamin C Powder can provide a lot of benefits, including providing natural energy and boosting your immune system in, say, a worldwide pandemic–

STOP TRYING TO SCROLL PAST!!!

-

Jeon Jungkook stared at his phone. 

At a very specific number. 

He put it down, sighing a little, looking out the window instead. It was a nice day, but he couldn't enjoy it the way it was meant to be enjoyed. Pandemic and all that. He frowned, looking at the urban jungle surrounding him. Had he made a mistake moving here to the big city? Sometimes he wondered. Back then, he had moved to finish school and pursue his ambitions. Back then, his choice had seemed full of opportunities, but now.

What did he have, really?

A tiny apartment with a kind and understanding landlord. The world at his fingertips from his computer. Still a decent amount of savings left. Online courses that he needed to finish to get his film degree. 

Loneliness.

He delved into his memories, smiling at the recollection of confused looks, awkward smiles, indignant huffs. So very unlike him to tease so much, but it was too fun and he hadn't felt the usual nervousness and shyness he had around others. There was something comforting about that smile, that apartment, and that fluffy tuxedo cat that loved to interrupt everything. 

He shouldn't have played it off.

He shouldn't have distracted.

Not after he admitted it.

"I like you."

Jungkook said it to the air, to the memory. So vivid that he reached out to touch those lips, but then it all disappeared, just like that. 

Ah.

He looked at the back of his phone, wondering. But now he was too nervous and shy to pick it up again. Why was that? When he was there, being seen by those surprised eyes, he could do and say shameless things. But far away, when he was alone, Jungkook was hesitating, suddenly afraid.

Sigh. 

-

You sneezed. 

Very loudly and jerking your head away from your cat-man in luxurious pink silk, jamming your nose into your elbow.

Yoongi raised an eyebrow. 

You sniffed, rubbing your nose. 

"Someone must be thinking about me..." you muttered. 

Yoongi looked down, plucking the collar of the pajamas. "The cotton shirts are the same size, but for some reason this one fits tighter. Why is that? Is there no regulated sizing in human fashion?"

Dude, be glad you're not a girl, you thought dryly. "Might be the fabric," you coughed distractedly. Distractedly because you were staring at quite possibly the most gorgeous man in the history of men and you stared at a lot of men in your short lifetime, so you had experienced eyeballs.

Wait. 

Man or cat-man?

Well, Yoongi was definitely the most gorgeous cat-man considering you were pretty sure there was only one in current existence.

His pointed ears stood straight up in interest, black hair messy from taking clothes on and off, fair cheeks and nose flushed pink, perhaps from physical exertion. Dark brown eyes sheepish, not quite looking at you. The black leather choker stood out on his neck, silver bell gleaming against his collarbones. The material was a mauve-pink silk, clinging to his lean body, showing off his shoulders and long limbs. The button-up shirt created a rather deep v-neckline, a sliver of pale chest visible. And his legs! His slim legs reminded you of a nimble dancer, ending in fuzzy black slippers. 

There was a weird lump in one of the pant legs, going down his thigh. 

Whoa. 

"W-Why did you pick them?" you tried to ask in the least awkward way possible, attempting – and failing – to not to stare at his delectable thighs. 

Yoongi shrugged. "They looked like the ones you have. I meant to get black, but I suppose I didn't read the listing closely enough. They're comfortable though," he mused before making a face. Your eyes bulged as there was a sudden jerk in his pants, creating a large tent in the crotch. 

Alarms sounded off in your head, arousal shooting up like a rocket. 

Oh. 

Oh??? 

Oh!!!!!!!

"My tail is stuck," Yoongi grunted, lowering the back of the pink silk pants. The sleek black cat tail slid out, swishing in the air, tent in his pants gone. 

Oh…

Right. The tail.

Because he's a cat... man.

Your inner thot was sad. Your dignity smacked you upside the head, highly disappointed in you for falling for that, then calmly shot down your arousal rocket with your shame. Oof.

"Can you show me how to sew so I can fix my own clothes from now on?" Yoongi asked as he readjusted the front of the silk shirt. 

You bent down to pick up your phone, trying to do something with your face and hands to disguise your embarrassment and burning ears. "Yeah, of course." You placed it on your desk and turned back to face him. 

Yoongi was right next to you. 

Literally so close that you could feel his body heat. 

"... Urk!"

You jumped in your seat, banging your knee against your desk and howling in pain, computer chair rolling and making you lose your balance, ass about to slip before Yoongi grabbed your chair and shoved it into the table, making you trip and fall back into the seat, head hitting the headrest a little too hard, seeing stars and rubber duckies for a second. 

Wait, were they rubber duckies? They were white and glittery, almost as if they were made from snow…

Yoongi slapped you in the face.

“Ow!”

You rubbed your cheek, blinking rapidly to clear your vision before glaring at him.

“Checking if you were alive,” was his placid response.

Alright, it wasn’t that hard, but the unexpectedness of it still hurt. You frowned, only for the pain to slowly melt away, quickly being replaced by something else as you realized Yoongi was still half-leaning over you, a knee on your computer gaming chair to prevent it from rolling. The sting in your knee was temporarily forgotten. Yoongi spoke again, his voice low and deep, almost a sensual purr.

“You hit yourself pretty hard.”

He doesn’t know what’s he’s doing. It’s just a coincidence. A kitty-incidence, Seokjin would say.

Your eyes widened as Yoongi closed in, peering at your unfocused gaze. Now you could see down his shirt. Holy shit. Were you so deprived that you were getting mad horny from seeing Yoongi’s fucking clavicle and sternum?

Is that even a question?

Yes.

Yes, you were.

“You look like you did last night.”

“What?” you breathed, still unabashedly looking down his shirt.

“Your pupils are dilated.”

You froze. His cool fingertips were on your neck.

“Heartrate increased.”

You wanted to pull back, say, no, wait, don’t do that, but Yoongi was too close and his exhale was too feathery, brushing against your lips, and you couldn’t move, trapped in your chair, between him wrapped in pink silk and your mind reeling, him still playing fucking doctor while you were trying not to jump his half-covered ass.

“And that smell.”

You finally tore your gaze away, eyes drifting up to his.

You swallowed.

“S… smell?”

Oh no.

Oh no, no, no.

Ohnoohshitwhatifhecansmellmypus–

Yoongi’s eyes narrowed, surveying you closely. He was so close you couldn’t see his lips, only his dark brown orbs. He didn’t say anything. He smelled like your soap, reminding you of his naked body pressed against you in the shower. Your heartbeat was leaping to your throat, threatening to choke you with your own horniness. Honestly, at this point, would you even be surprised?

You chuckled nervously, clinging onto your last shreds of self-preservation, which, admittedly, were rapidly yeeting out of your hands.

“Hahaha… but you’re… a cat… yeah?”

Right?

Seconds passed.

Right???

Minutes passed.

RIGHT???????

Yoongi’s lashes lowered, not quite looking at your eyes. Staring at your lips.

“I’m a man too,” he whispered softly.

Your eyes widened.

Yoongi kissed you.

You were so shocked that you swore your eyes nearly left your head.

It was a soft kiss, his eyes closed, tilting his head slightly to fit better against yours, pressing you back into your chair. Your head hit the headrest and you gasped, your tongue lightly flicking his lips and they parted, his own tongue sliding against yours, gentle licks, your brain malfunctioning, but body remembering, hands coming up to grab his shirt and yank him closer, pressing back against him. He backed up a little at your suddenness, exhaling hard. Your eyes snapped open, suddenly aware of how forceful you were.

Yoongi looked away, pointed black ears flicking back and forth uneasily.

You kissed your cat. Man. Cat-man.

He’s been a man for not even two days and you just tried to make out with him like a demented beast!

“A-ah, Yoongi, no, I’m so sorry, I-I… please, I didn’t mean to…” you stuttered, letting go of him quickly, but also not wanting to let go, but you should, your hands getting confused by your mental signals, repeatedly clasping and unclasping the pink silk, not realizing that he wasn’t even trying to move away.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Yoongi said slowly.

You clutched his shirt, staring at your white knuckles, unable to look at him directly.

“I’m sorry, it’s just… you’re so handsome, but I’m your owner… and I cracked…”

“What you are is a desperate, sexually deprived human.”

You jerked your head up, seeing his unreadable expression. “I-It’s been over a year–”

All of a sudden, Yoongi lowered his knee and grabbed you by the ass, scooting you down on the rolling chair. You yelped at the swift movement, gasping as your crotch collided with his thigh, wincing as you heard the squelch of your panties jamming into your soaked core.

Yikes.

Welp, you can’t hide that shit now.

“You like things like this, don’t you?” Yoongi murmured.

Your cheeks heated. “T…Things like w-what…?”

Oh, you knew what. You knew very well what, but you also couldn’t form coherent sentences.

His fingers sank into your ass and he pressed you into his thigh, rolling it into your heat. The whines tore out of your throat involuntarily, grabbing his arm and staring up at him with shaking eyes, seeing his curious gaze looking down at you.

“B-But, Yoongi… I’m your o-owner,” you panted, resolve slipping with every second, your hips already rocking into his thigh, the slippery thin fabric doing nothing to hide his lean muscle, your own thighs clamping around his leg. “I’m supposed to t-take care of y-you…”

And last more than two days, fucking shit, get it together!

But you couldn’t get it together, especially not as Yoongi’s voice dropped to a lower octave, one side of his lips curving upwards.

“It’s a little different now, isn’t it?” he drawled softly, lashes lowering, eyebrows raising, his black hair darkening his gaze. “Since I am now capable to take care of you too.”

You whimpered, losing it.

Just started freely humping his leg, self-preservation completely gone. Did he even know what he was capable of, really? Did he have any idea what he could do? Surely not.

Surely, he had no idea how good he could make you feel.

Yoongi bit the side of his lip, frowning. “How will can I make it feel better? I’m only cop…” He trailed off, furry ears anxiously flicking.

You tugged on his arm, getting his attention. “Angle your leg a little more downwards… Y-Yeah, like that…” He did as you instructed, his thigh now pressing down on your clit and your rocking hips moving faster, clinging to his arm and setting your jaw, moaning at the added pleasure. “A-ah… yeah, fuck… yes, I c-can… like this…”

“You can what?” Yoongi breathed, watching your face closely, firmly holding the armrests of the chair so it wouldn’t slide.  

Your head tipped back a little, bucking harder into his thigh, so wet your juices were soaking through your leggings and drenching the pink silk, turning it darker, the strong scent of your sweet arousal clearly evident. Your eyes drifted to Yoongi’s dark orbs covered by black hair, vision hazy, noticing the slight inquisitive upturn of his upper lip. There was no point in hiding it anymore.

“Can cum, Yoongi, fuck, I’m going to cum…” you moaned, inhaling his scent, his presence, saying his name and looking up at him, the stimulation and touch of another enough to get you there, eyelids fluttering as your orgasm swept down, taking you away and filling you with serene satisfaction, crashing waves soaring through you, washing away the sand of your dry spell, a different kind of euphoria than when you were on your own, pulling Yoongi close, kissing him deeply, breathing hard.

“Y… Yoongi…”

“Was it nice?” he murmured. “Was I what you needed?”

“Yeah…” You kissed his soft lips again, semi-breathless. “I–” The wave of guilt came now, your words dropping, brows furrowing, a sharp pang in your chest. Rising, rising. Panic. Yoongi lowered his head, black hair and soft pointed ear rubbing against your eyebrow, nuzzling your cheek. Once. Twice. Again, headbutting you lightly, smoothing the worry away from your forehead, a small laugh bubbling from your throat.

“What are you doing?” you chuckled, patting his arm, smoothing out the wrinkles you had made while furiously humping him. Your eye caught the dark mark now on one of his thighs. Welp. You lasted less than ten minutes.

Pink pajama Yoongi was dangerous.

“You liked this,” he mumbled. “When you were upset.”

You chuckled, instinctively reaching up and caressing his velvety ear. “You were a little smaller then.”

“Only a little.”

He slowed until he came to a full stop, dark eye staring into yours, cheek to cheek.

“I have to look after you, my clumsy human.”

-

part iv

--

masterpost

#yoongi x reader #jungkook x reader #bts fanfic #bts smut #yoongi fanfic #yoongi x you #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi x you #jungkook x you #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you

[shyficwriter]

You're Not Broken, Ya Hear Me?

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Yondu x Reader, guest starring Peter and other Ravagers

Summary: Based off a prompt from my friend @giulscomix where Reader is coming up on a rite of passage involving having her first sexual experience and is very nervous because she doesn't wish to partake, because she's just not interested in sex at all. (i.e: Reader is Ace or Demi) She opens up to Yondu about it after he finds her hidden away and crying about it and he helps her with her problem, making her realize she isn't broken. Inspired by and using lines from this scene in Netflix's Sex Education series.

Author’s Note: Fic is SFW. Sex is talked about (obviously), but no sexual scenes occur. This also takes place in an AU where Yondu never broke the code (yet still has Peter, make that make sense lol) and therefore was never exiled from the other Ravager clans. Also, this is a long one, probably should have broken it into chapters, but here we go lol

Word Count: 10,189

The nervousness inside you grew with every passing day. You were almost seventeen- you should be happy about this! Not filled with dread about what turning that particular year would mean. You glanced at the calendar from your bed. Only three days left.

There was a rite of passage that every young man had taken before you, and would take long after you. They all whooted for joy when their time came, but you couldn't find the enthusiasm to do so, although you did your best to fake it. And as the day grew closer, the more you had to fake it.

Maybe it was because you were the only female Ravager on Yondu's team? Or maybe that had nothing to do with it. Maybe you were just... broken? Why couldn't you just be excited about this like everyone else? That thought made your chest ache as you pulled on your boots.

You didn't want to do it, this stupid rite of passage. No, it wasn't exactly like you'd be forced into a room until you "did the deed," However, you knew to refuse would be to cement your reputation as a lame prude who wouldn't know fun if it crawled up her ass. But still, you really didn't want to.

After all, who would want their first time to just be some random fuck for the sole purpose of "Becoming a man/woman" and an "official part of the crew."? Yes, you wanted more than anything to be accepted, like Peter or the others, but you wanted your first time to be with someone you loved and cared for. Now, this isn't to say that you weren't currently a respected member of the crew, but things were just... different. You knew things would change if the others knew you didn't want to go through with it. You'd be less "one of the guys" and more "the chick with the stick up her butt." You didn't want that.

You stood and took a deep breath, readying your facade before leaving your quarters to make your way down to breakfast.

As always, there were many other Ravagers also making their way from the crew quarters down to the mess hall. And, just how it had started happening the closer it got to that dreaded date, you'd encounter someone looking to congratulate you with a clap on the back, saying things like, "Ayy! How many days is it now? Bet ya can't wait, huh?" or more often, high-fives and fist bumps as your crew mates cheered you on for your upcoming "big day."

You took it all in stride, just like every other day. Big smiles, return the high-five, maybe throw in some finger guns, toss in an affirmative and that you "couldn't wait."

But each time you died just a bit inside. How long could you put on this charade? You knew you wouldn't be able to go through with it. What was going to happen then? What would the rest of the crew say when they found out? Normally it wouldn't be such a big deal for so long, when other guys came of age it was usually forgotten by the others after a few days. However, you were going to come of age the very day of the next scheduled shore leave, which was going to happen in just a few days, and for some reason this just bred excitement among your peers and they wouldn't drop it.

You tried to put these thoughts out of your head as you entered the Mess Hall and got your breakfast.

Today you got to eat in relative peace, the attention being taken up by the story Narblik was telling about his last job on an icy planet and how he hadn't been sure he'd make it back when the blizzard hit. It was when you got up to turn in your tray and leave when a few other's started back up again.

Scrote whooped when he saw you stand, crying out a "Get 'em!" at you and someone else shouted back that you were "Gonna be a man!" until someone shouted back at them "She's a girl!" earning an apology and a correction that you were "Gonna be a woman!" that earned some laughter from the others. You knew the laughter wasn't directed at you, they weren't insulting your looks. Some species on the ship just had a hard time getting genders right because the concept of gender just wasn't a thing on their homeworlds.

You passed Horuz and a young green man named Rahi who high-fived you with an "Ayyy!" as was becoming the custom greeting for anyone wanting to congratulate you on it being almost your big day. You returned the greeting. He had just turned 17 three days before along with another young man he often ran around with, and you heard him talking with some others (There were about 5 or 6 of you all either about to turn the big 17 or who recently had since the last shore leave 3 months ago. It was an abnormally large amount of young people coming of age this time around, which you suspected was further reason why some were making such a bigger deal about this upcoming shore leave.) about being excited for shore leave, as that's when they'd be able to 'become men,' aka, would be able to find a whore to screw. Younger crew often had more of the cleaning jobs aboard the Eclector, and unless assigned with an older crew mate, didn't get to go on many away missions where they could try and woo a willing partner, and even then, Yondu liked quick turnarounds on jobs so there wasn't a whole lot off "goof off" time without being reprimanded. There was no real rule about screwing crew mates either, but most avoided it just in case things got weird after. Easier to just bang someone random on shore leave and then get back to work. No muss no fuss.

Horuz teasingly asked if you had any studs picked out yet and you just laughed and said "Ha, one of these lot? You're joking!" as you put your tray away.

You heard Yondu playfully scold the two from a couple tables over, telling them, "Oh, leave the poor girl alone, yer embarrassin' her!" as he laughed. Horuz just shouted back, "Aw now, I didn't even get to tell her about Oblo here's first time!" This was met with Oblo, who was sitting nearby, choking out a "Hey!" and punching Horuz in the arm.

Kraglin laughed now, "I think she's already heard that one! Let's not ruin anyone's meal now."

You shivered. You had heard the story before. It involved a broken member and many stitches. You weren't looking forward to hearing it again. "I'm out!" you say, looking for a way out of this conversation. "Got work to do." With that you turned and started to leave the mess hall.

"That's what I like to hear!" Yondu laughed from behind you. "Some of you lazy gits should start acting like her, don't wanna work unless yer told to." He knew you were just escaping having to hear the story again, but he wasn't going to miss an opportunity to razz up some of his crew.

You finally make your way out of the mess hall and allow your grin to fall. You run a hand over your face, making your way toward the laundry where you had been assigned to repair one of the machines. You were grateful it was both early in the week as well as early in the day as you entered the room. Most of the crew waited until they were completely out of clean clothes to do their washings, which typically resulted in most of the crew crowding the laundry at the end of the week, so you were sure to have at least an hour or three alone to yourself.

You made your way to the back left-hand corner of the room towards the broken machine. It should be an easy fix, the complaint was that it wasn't draining properly, so you figured it was just a clogged drain hose.

Upon opening up the machine you found you were right. it was just a clog. You retrieved a plumbing snake from a nearby supplies trunk and got to work fishing it out. Unfortunately this menial task gave you enough time to dwell on your problems rather than engaging your brain enough to force them into the back of your mind.

You kept thinking the word "broken" over and over. You couldn't get it out of your head how you couldn't bring yourself to just be excited over something everyone else seemed to love.

Your chest tightened. "Broken.. Loser..." Why couldn't you get over it? Why didn't you have these feelings like all the others?

You latched onto the clog and worked to pull it out. "

Broken..." Why was this so hard? "Broken... Stupid... Wrong..." What was wrong with you? "Stupid... Broken..." Why couldn't you just be like everyone else?!

With that last thought you pulled the clog out with an audible "Pop!" that almost made you fly backwards. You looked at it in disgust and dropped it into the nearby trashcan before re-attaching the hose and sliding down to the floor. No one was going to show up to the laundry this early, might as well take advantage of this time to wallow in your own misery.

That's what you told yourself at least. In truth you could feel tears burning your eyes and didn't want anyone to see you cry. Better to let it happen alone than risk another crew mate seeing you and thinking you were weak.

What you didn't know was that Yondu was also well aware of his Ravager crew's laundry habits, and took advantage of the empty communal laundry room at the beginning of the week to wash his own laundry undisturbed. He made his way down after breakfast, actually having forgotten he had assigned you to fix one of the machines, and was therefore quite surprised to walk in on you sat in the corner crying.

"What d'we have here?" he asked, more puzzled than anything. He never once seen you cry, which now that he thought about it was rather surprising. He saw grown men cry at least twice a week, most of them Peter, but still. He tried to cover up any concern with humor. "Did Halfnut leave his dirty drawers in the machine again? Smell's bad enough to make anyone cry."

You had been startled when he first walked in and you were currently trying to quickly straighten yourself up. "Nothing. Sorry Captain." you said, not looking him in the eye as you bent down to pick up the plumbing snake. "Nearly done here." you say, unable to hide a sniffle.

Yondu plopped his laundry basket on one of the long steel tables running up the middle of the room and sighed, turning to walk towards the door.

You look up in surprise as you heard the lock engage.

He looked at you, arms crossed, and said, "Ya really think I'm gonna buy that? Yer not leaving here until ya spill it. Now what's wrong? Somebody bein' mean to ya? Yer feminine-ly cycle -or whatever it's called- hurtin' ya again?"

You blushed and gave him a sharp look before placing the plumbing snake back where you found it.

Yondu rolled his eyes as he moved his basket over to a machine and tossed his clothes in. "Fine, be that way. But I meant what I said. Ya ain't leavin' til we sort it out. Might as well talk or it's gonna get mighty borin' in here." He turned on the machine and hoisted himself up to sit on the table, patting the space beside him.

You begrudgingly approach, not meeting his eyes, and lifted yourself up to sit down on the table.

"Now what's wrong?" he said again.

You fix your gaze on your lap and sigh. "You're just gonna make fun of me." You say sadly.

Yondu smirks. "Maybe. Still wanna hear it though." Upon seeing your face fall further he elbowed you and said, "I'm jus' kiddin'! What's the long face?"

Your eyes remain down and you quietly say, "I... don't wanna do it."

Yondu raises an eyebrow. "What?"

"I don't wanna do it." you repeat.

"Ya dun wanna do... what?" he asks in confusion. He at first assumed maybe you didn't want to do your assigned morning task of fixing the machine, but it seemed like you had already finished it, so he had no idea what you could possibly mean to even begin to be angry for any disobeyed orders. Also, he doubted he found you crying over something as silly as not wanting to fix a washing machine.

"It," you say, "You know, IT." you make a crude gesture with your fingers, forming a circle in one hand with your thumb and index finger and inserting the index finger of your other hand in and out of it, to hopefully get the point across.

Yondu's eyes widen a bit. "Oh!" he says in surprise, before continuing in confusion, "I don't get it? Ya seemed just as excited as could be a bit ago?"

"I've been faking it. Don't want the others to make fun of me."

"Come now! They won't ma-"

He's cut off by you giving him another sharp look. He looks forward again and nods, sighing, "Yeah, yer right. They will."

The two of you were quiet for a couple moments before Yondu awkwardly broke the silence. "Ya mind if I ask why? Like are ya scared or somethin'?" he looks at you with a raised eyebrow, slight concern painting his features.

He remembered his first time. As a battle-slave he didn't exactly see much action; the Kree weren't exactly fond of the idea of their battle-slaves reproducing or having any fun; and by the time Stakar freed him he was in his twenties. It was shortly after when with some other young Ravagers that the subject came up and he admitted he had never done it, only for his mates to excitedly cheer that they were taking him with them on shore leave so he could "become a man." He had been nervous, though he never expressed it out loud, not wanting to appear weak. He knew they meant well, but screwing a random whore just to fit-in and say he had wasn't something he had exactly been looking forward to, however peer pressure had encouraged him to go through with it. It wasn't too bad, he realized, but even knowing that he himself had come to enjoy the act, he always remembered the knot in his stomach leading up to his first time, and hearing you say that you might be scared of doing it made a similar knot form, only higher in his chest and feeling more like... pity? No, that wasn't quite it. Empathy? Yes, that was probably more accurate. Damn sentiment.

"It's not anything like that... it's just... I don't feel anything like that. I'm not even sure I'd know what that feeling is. It's just not there. I'm not scared, or even disgusted, I just feel... nothing."

"I'm not sure I follow..." Yondu said honestly. He supposed you feeling nothing was better than you being scared, but he still didn't quite understand.

"Ok, like, imagine you're surrounded by a feast, with everything you could ever want to eat, but you're not hungry. That's how I feel. I just don't want any of it," you said. Your voice cracked as you continued, "...and it's just so frustrating. Everyone else gets to be normal, while I just don't feel... anything. I don't want to do it-with anyone. When I think about it I feel nothing- it's like I'm broken." You covered your mouth, still not meeting Yondu's gaze as you tried to hold back frustrated tears.

Hearing you say that you thought you were broken tore at Yondu's heart. He wrapped an arm around you tightly and said in a firm voice, "Ya listen here. Yer not broken. I don't wanna hear that again. Look here."

You reluctantly do as he asks.

"Yer not broken," he said again, his face stern. "Sex doesn't make a person whole, so how could ya ever be broken, girl?"

You inhaled sharply as fresh tears pricked at your eyes. You hadn't realized until then that that was exactly what you needed to hear. You quickly wrap your arms around him, burying your face in his chest to hide your tears.

Taken aback at he sudden gesture, Yondu patted you on the back comfortingly and returned the hug. Good thing he locked the door. He doubted that any of his crew would be bothered to wash their clothes this early, but still, it would halt the possibility of new rumors that he was "going soft on the Terrans." He honestly wasn't sure he'd sleep tonight if he had to scold you for crying to save face with his crew right now.

You pulled back almost as soon as you went in, straightening up and quickly wiping your eyes.

"Feel better?"

You nodded.

Yondu sighed, "What to do now..." he said thoughtfully. "Ya know, I never actually liked this whole 'rite of passage' thing, to be fully honest. Crew just gets too wound up. Yer not the first to have reservations 'bout it. Handful of lads have come to me over the years, confiding that they were nervous, but scared of being bullied by the rest of the crew if they didn't go through with it. I suspect there might have been more, but were too scared of lookin' weak to tell their captain. I guess I can understand that."

Surprised by this honesty, you asked, "What did they do?"

"Faked it. They'd go on shore leave, pay a whore to put on a good loud show, yelling and banging on the walls 'n stuff, then lap up the congratulations of the rest of the crew for 'becoming a man.'"

You were further surprised that any of the the crew would have been that open with their captain to admit faking it. "Really?" you ask. "They told you about it after?"

"Who d'ya think told 'em to do it?" Yondu said, huffing a laugh out his nose.

That makes you smile, though you aren't quite sure why. After a moment of thought you say, "If you don't like the whole thing, why don't you stop it?"

Yondu sighed. "I don't think I could if I tried. It's widespread over all 100 Ravager factions. Doubt it do well to tell one faction they couldn't participate. Enough of them look forward to it they'd probably riot." Yondu laughed sardonically. "Not that I haven't thought about trying to steer the culture around it in a different direction. I can tell some of my older crew have the same thoughts, even if they won't admit it."

"How do you know if they never said?" you asked.

"The way they keep passing off horror stories as funny tales to the younger crew. Or did ya miss the story about how Vorker-"

"Nope! Heard it!" you cut him off suddenly. "I remember! I don't need to hear it again, please!" You held up your hands almost as if defending yourself from hearing it again, eyes wide. You most definitely did not need to hear a retelling of the time Vorker caught something very nasty off a girl he met on a job and the details that came with it. There were some rumors that it was how he really lost his eye, but you weren't sure of the truth behind those claims.

Yondu chuckled, patting you on the back. His expression changed when he said. "That's prob'ly what ya should do."

You raised an eyebrow at him.

"Fake it, I mean." he clarified. "Ya should wait til ya want to do it, with someone ya want, if that should ever happen. Not just go through with it to fulfill some dumbass rite of passage." He stared off into the space in front of him. "I can't really see another way to go 'bout it." he admitted. "If I called out for a change among the crew now they'd no doubt see the connection, think I was going soft 'cause yer the only girl here, and then it'd blowback on you. I ain't gonna let that happen." He gave you a look that you understood without him having to explain further. He actually cared about you, in a way similar to how he cared for Peter. He didn't want to see you hurt or bullied over something stupid like this.

You nodded in understanding, returning your gaze to the floor.

"Next shore leave is in a few days. I'll take care of it." Yondu said, his words surprising you.

"What?"

"Consider it a gift." he said, lightly punching you in the arm as he said, "Don't say I never gave ya anythin'."

"I don't understand?" you say, lightly laughing in confusion.

Yondu dramatically rolled his eyes and said, "Guess I gotta spell it out fer ya... I'll arrange for a "fake visit" from a nice whore-bot for ya. It actually costs more for them to fake it, if ya can believe it."

You stared at him, speechless. "I- thank you?" you finally say, blushing. You give him another quick hug.

"Ya, don't get used to it." he replied in his usual gruff fashion when you released him, but you knew better. The old softie.

Just then the machine buzzed, alerting that Yondu's clothes were finished washing. He stood from the table to switch them into a nearby dryer. Once done he turned back to face you. "Well, ya probably got other duties ya need to get to. Better get on 'em."

You smiled, giving him a mock-reluctant, "Yeah," before following him to the door.

You weren't expecting what happened next.

Yondu opened the door and exited, you following out behind. The hallway was no longer empty, and you heard the same young man from earlier, Rahi, call out from a group of two other Ravagers, "Ow Ow! Looks like she finally lost it to the Captain!"

No doubt he thought he was being funny, but he really, really, shouldn't have done that.

Yondu's whistle pierced the air, his arrow quickly finding its way to rest against Rahi's throat. "Ya wanna try that again?" Yondu growled.

Rahi couldn't find any words, just babbled out incoherent nonsense as he nearly shit his pants. The other two Ravagers in the group weren't laughing, just cowering with their friend afraid they'd be next once Yondu finished with him. Other crew mates standing within the hall also stopped to stare in stunned silence.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't run my arrow through ya for speakin' to yer captain like that? Even worse offense for implying I'd screw around with a child." Yondu's eyes were dark and full of rage. Even you were a bit frightened, enough to almost let the child comment slide, and you weren't even the target.

"Dude! He's so old! Ew!" you shout over to the terrified young Ravager, hoping to help the situation by making it clear that nothing like that was ever going to be a thing. And, if you were to be honest, slight payback for Yondu calling you a child.

Yondu whipped his head around to you, and you caught a momentary expression of "You little shit!" before he said, "And don't ya forget it!"

He turned back to Rahi. "I'm waiting." he said, still glowering and crossing his arms expectantly.

Rahi was still busy freaking out. It looked like he was about to cry. He eventually managed to squeak out a, "I'm sorry!" among his pleas for Yondu not to kill him.

Yondu called back his arrow. "That's what I thought. For yer smart mouth you and the other two there are gonna wash the outside of the Eclector, and yer all gonna keep at it until the whole ship's clean." With a smug smile he added. "Guess yer all gonna miss out on shore leave."

This obviously didn't go over well with Rahi's friends, who were now glaring and smacking him at the back of his green head. The next shore leave after the upcoming one wouldn't happen for another 3 months.

"Ya heard me. Git going. And yer still all responsible fer yer other duties too." Yondu added.

The three young men begrudgingly started making their way past when Yondu stopped them again with an, "Ah, Ah, Ah." making them turn back, dreading what else he might have to add.

"I think ya better apologize to this young lady too, for thinking she'd want her first time to be with someone so old." He looked at you pointedly as he said this and you squinted back at him, a nervous giggle escaping your throat as you rubbed the back of your head. Shouldn't have spoke up and called your captain old, now he was going to have to make an example of you as well for mouthing off. "Yer gonna be cleaning out the brig for that one, missy." he said, loud enough for everyone else to hear. Had to make it look good, after all.

Rahi muttered out an apology before scurrying away with his now very irritated mates, but not before Yondu cried out after him with a, "I'm startin' to think some of ya are gettin' a lil' too wound up about this lil' rite of passage among ya young-ins. It'd sure be a shame if you were the reason I decided to put an end to it." He said this with a thick veil of warning. It was a threat, and one you hadn't expected to hear after the conversation you just had with him.

It was clear that no one else in hallway had expected to hear this from their captain either. Looks of shock were exchanged among the Ravagers in the hallway. Rahi and his buddies' eyes all widened in shock when his words finally sunk in and their scurry turned into a sprint to get away before they could make things even worse. That comment Rahi made had apparently pissed the captain off bad.

"What the rest of ya staring at?" Yondu said, startling the rest of the hallway dwelling crew into motion. "I know ya'll got shit to do, get on it!" He looked at you and cocked his head as if to say "Get moving." and you obeyed, making your way toward the brig to complete your extra cleaning duties.

Yondu did his best to hide a smirk as he made his way down to his quarters. He knew rumors would start spreading like wildfire about Rahi nearly causing Yondu to put an end to the rite of passage after that display. It was bound to piss more than a few of the younger crew off. He didn't care much for the lazy shit anyway, so it was better the crew think he was the reason for any upcoming changes rather than you, and if it succeeded in helping him end the whole culture around that particular thing, even better. They really did get too wound up about it.

***

The morning of shore leave came and you were nervous as hell. Yondu had pulled you aside the night before to let you know he had taken care of what he promised, and described the whore-bot he paid to help you fake it so you would know which one to accept. Still, even knowing it was taken care of you couldn't help the growing pit of nervousness in your stomach, though you did your best to hide it.

Since clearly the Eclector couldn't dock on the planet, being about a mile and a half long and all, Ravagers on shore leave would pool together on M-ships for the journey to and back, kind of like a funny buddy-system.

As per usual, you pooled in a ship with Yondu, Kraglin, and Peter along with Tullk, Oblo, and Horuz. Yondu and Kraglin sat up front to pilot, Tullk, Oblo and Horuz filled in the middle, while you and Peter got put in the back, as always.

While the older men laughed and carried on in front of you, you felt Peter nudge you in the arm. You looked over to see him looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "You ok?" he asked, having noticed how you were unusually quiet and fidgety.

"Yeah, I'm great." you lied, "Never better."

Peter rolled his eyes with a knowing smile. "Don't give me that. Are ya nervous?" he asked, obviously knowing full well what everyone expected you'd be doing on this shore leave. "You can tell me. I won't tell anyone."

You gave him a look, saying, "No!" before coming clean with a, "Fine. A little." as you turned your gaze down into your lap to fidget with your watch some more.

"It'll be ok," he assured, "I was a little nervous my first time, too," he admitted. Peter was a few years older than you at 20, and it was hard for you to picture him having been nervous about it, seeing as he now seemed to be trying to work his way through every cute girl in the galaxy.

"Really?" you asked, eyeing him skeptically.

"Yeah. I mean, I was still super excited, but I was a little nervous too. Those horror stories the older guys tell us really get to you."

You giggled with him, remembering what Yondu had told you the other day.

Peter continued, "But anyway, you're gonna be fine. But I did want to give you this." He pulled something out of his jacket pocket and handed it to you. It was a condom.

"Peter!" you whisper-shouted, blushing.

"Hey, if you're gonna do it, I wanna know you're being smart about it. Always use protection. Even with the Love-bots. Can't ever be too careful." He held his hand out more insistently.

You blushed harder and accepted the gift, even though you knew you wouldn't be needing it. "Thanks."

"Come on now, don't get all frowny on me. I'm just looking out for you." Peter teased, aiming a few pokes at your ribs, knowing it always got a good giggle or two out of you.

It worked. Giggles escaped your throat as you twisted in your seat and swatted at his hand, "Quit it!" you squeaked, but his mission was accomplished anyway, you were smiling now.

"There we go!" he teased, grinning at you.

"Shush!" you replied, sticking your tongue out at your friend and laughing when he flicked you in the arm for it. Soon enough the two of you were in a slap battle. You weren't really fighting, and neither of you struck with the intent to hurt (well, not much anyway) it was just how the two of you played sometimes. This carried on until you heard Yondu announce that you all had made it to your destination, and then the nervousness started to creep back into your belly.

Peter and you were the last off the ship. Yondu and the other men headed off, leaving the two of you to your own devices with calls to behave yourselves, but "not too much" *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

You almost wished he had stuck around longer, but you knew he had already done his part. It would look weird if he stuck around to hold your hand, so to speak. You look to Peter, wanting to stall just a bit longer. "So, ya hungry?"

"Figured you'd want to get right to business," he teased. He knew you were probably stalling, but decided to go along with it anyway rather than abandon you straight away. You had been here before, but he knew this time was different. This time there was a pressure to do something new, and you had already admitted you were nervous about it.

"Uh, can't do it on an empty stomach," you say, forcing a smile.

He ruffled your hair. "Good point. I'm starving." He suggested you two grab some fries at the nearby bar inside the brothel (the whole place was the brothel, let's be honest) and you followed him.

When you both had finished you tried to think of something else to stall, maybe play some pool? However, you never got the chance, for a whore-bot with green hair and looking to be around your age came over to your table to greet you. It was the one Yondu told you to look for, and it asked if it could "show you a good time." You looked nervously at Peter who shot you a thumbs up while trying not to laugh. You glanced back at the bot and tentatively nodded, which Peter took as a sign to high-tail it out of there, leaving you alone. The bot asked for your ID, as you knew it would, and part of you wished you "forgot" it back on the ship, knowing that the bots were programed to refuse service to anyone under the age of 17 and required ID of younger-looking patrons to prove it.

After scanning your ID, the bot took you by the hand and flirtatiously led you across the room to a set of stairs. You began to hear some cheers as you ascended the stairs behind the bot and you were blushing too hard to even attempt to ham it up for their benefit.

Once in the room the bot turned to you. "I understand this isn't meant to be an ordinary engagement. Mr. Udonta left instructions to only perform counterfeit coitus, correct?"

You blushed and nodded, taken aback by the professionalism of the sex-bot, before wondering if you were being rude by assuming otherwise.

"Have you done this before?"

You shook your head, still blushing.

"It's alright. There's plenty of time to figure it out. I've been booked for three hours."

You sputtered. "Excuse me?!" you cried, trying not to be too loud. "Three-? What are we supp-"

The bot gave a laugh and held up its hand. "Do not worry, Miss. I was paid extra to deliver that joke. Mr. Udonta felt it would be very funny. I've only actually been booked for an hour, the standard amount of time."

You let a sigh of relief. You still felt that an hour was going to drag on, but at least it wasn't flarkin' three. "So, what do we do?"

The bot took your hand again and led you to the large bed in the center of the room. "Lie down here." You looked at the bot nervously and it clarified. "The noises will be more realistic if both our weights are on the bed."

You did as the bot instructed and it climbed over you. "I understand this may be awkward, but I'll ask that you trust the process. I will do this," the bot began to rhythmically rock its body back and forth, each rock ending in its hands hitting the headboard and making it knock into the wall behind it. "and then you can start making moaning sounds, you can repeat after me." The bot then started moan, encouraging you with a gesture of its hand when you were too busy blushing to follow the lead. You did your best to mimic the sounds. "We shall continue like this for 10 minutes, and then rest." the bot instructed, ushering you again with more hand gestures when you paused to give it a puzzled look.

After several minutes the bot prompted you to get louder, and then louder again still a few moments after. You realized it was coaching you to simulate you approaching the climax and you got nervous again, not knowing what to do when "that moment" was meant to happen. The bot read your face and told you to relax, just follow it's lead as it thumped against the wall faster and it moaned louder.

You followed its lead until it told you to make a last few loud "Oh's!" and then it began to slow its thumping before coming to a stop.

Whoops and laughter could be heard from the bar outside the door shortly after, and you blushed harder as the bot crawled off of you. "We will now have a few minutes of rest before beginning another simulation."

You sat up. "So we'll just keep repeating like this until the time's up?" you asked.

"Not quite," answered the bot. "We'll change things up a bit, different positions, different sounds, helps to keep it interesting."

"This seems like a lot of work?" you say.

"Yes, well we're paid to put on a show here. Might as well ensure it's convincing," the bot answered with a shrug and a smile.

You winced as you realized you could hear similar noises you had just faked coming from the rooms next to yours and then more whooping and cheering once they, too, stopped. "The walls are kinda thin in here, huh?" you say awkwardly.

The bot smiled sympathetically, "It seems that way, but not really. Only the louder noises make it out. Normal conversation levels are typically left unheard from outside the rooms, so you're clear to speak freely if that was a concern."

"Good to know," you say. You honestly had been a little concerned about that. "So, do we just sit around then?"

"I could give you a massage, if you'd like."

"That... actually sounds really nice. Sure, thank you." You accept the offer, realizing you could use a little stress reliever. "What's your name, by the way?" you ask, feeling a bit guilty for not having asked the bot's name before then and wondering if you should feel silly about that or not.

"You may call me Finn," the bot answered, not seeming fazed in the slightest. "Would you prefer to remove your clothes or leave them on?" The bot- Finn- motioned for you to turn around to give it access to your back.

"Um, clothes on, please?" you say, reaching for your zipper. "But I'll take off my jacket."

"Alright." The bot said, it's tone not caring in the slightest, and you supposed it very likely didn't care one way or another. It went straight to work, starting slow by gathering your hair and pulling it back and up almost as if it were going to tie your hair in a ponytail, but instead of securing an elastic it just repeated this motion a few more times. It was actually very relaxing, and it made you wish you had someone around to play with your hair more often.

With a final gentle tug the bot moved one hand to your forehead while the other worked at the back of your neck, kneading where the nape of your neck met your skull, making you close your eyes and sigh deeply.

To your delight the bot then threaded its fingers through your hair, scratching gently at your scalp. A soft hum escapes you as you stopped yourself from leaning into to touch out of shyness, and you almost let out a whine when the scratching stopped. However, you were soon soothed by the bot beginning to knead into your neck and shoulders.

You had just barely stopped yourself from moaning once when the bot then pressed into another spot that made it impossible to not make a sound, though you tried. Finn speaks up. "Let yourself relax fully," the bot encouraged. "It's alright to allow yourself to be noisy here, may even work to your benefit under the circumstances."

You giggled slightly and blushed. Finn was right, after all. If there were any time to just let go and relax it would technically be here and now. Before you could think much further Finn had dragged the knuckles of each thumb up each side of your spine with just the right amount of pressure to coax a genuine moan out of you, surprising you as it happened. You had never really realized before just how much stress your work as a Ravager took out on your back. You began to wonder if these Love-bots were also designed to be professional masseuses, because Finn seemed to know exactly what they were doing, and it was amazing.

Finn ended the massage a bit later by working back up your back and working their fingertips back into your hair for a last bit scalp massage.

You were almost disappointed when it ended, but when it was over you turned to look at the Love-bot. "Thank you, that was really nice." you say.

"Anytime." Finn smiled. "We still have twenty minutes left, shall we begin another simulation?"

You sighed. "I suppose. He paid for an hour, might as well act like I'm using it." You smiled, not feeling quite as bitter about the situation anymore after the massage. Finn really did have magic fingers. Or state of the art massage programing. Probably the latter.

"Indeed." Finn answered. "After all, there are no refunds."

You let out a slight chuckle at the bot's bluntness. "Alright, so what now?"

The next simulation involved you both standing on the edge of the bed with the wall to hold your balance as you bounced slightly up and down to make the bed squeak. The bot encouraged your to make similar noises as before, but to also throw out some curses, like, "Oh! Fuck!" It even did the same, occasionally calling out a "Yes! Right there! Oh, yes!" that made you raise an eyebrow. You had to fight from giggling the whole time at the situation. It was pretty funny after all. You were both jumping on the bed like children.

When that simulation had finished you sat down on the bed and looked at Finn. "Do you guys... er...-bots?... feel anything?" you asked, referring to the language the bot had used earlier. "Or are you just supposed to say stuff like that as an act?"

"We don't have nerve endings, and therefore we don't really 'feel things' like you might, but there are certain sensors that can be activated during a session with a client and prompt a correct response. However, as this session is only a simulation, I suppose you can call my dialogue 'acting.'"

You half-grinned when the realization of the bot's words hit you. "Are you saying... you're like a 'sexy' arcade game?" you say, trying not to giggle, before becoming suddenly afraid that might have been offensive. "I mean- obviously you're not a toy- I mean- I didn't mean to offend you."

The bot chuckled. "There's no need to worry. There are certain similarities, one could see how you might draw that conclusion."

You blushed again and attempted to change the subject. "So... what are we going to do with the last simulation?"

"You have a couple options. We can simulate against the door, or we can simulate bending over the bed. We could also simulate oral, but the noises you made during the massage more or less already worked in its favor."

You blushed at that. You already knew the door was out of the question, as you had an admittedly irrational fear that it might pop open as you were faking the deed. "We can try over the bed."

"Very well. This one will require less movement of you, you may remain seated there." Finn said as they stood up and moved to stand with their legs between your own. "This one may also be a bit awkward," the bot warned, "as it requires thrusting into the bed on my part. Ready?"

You nodded hesitantly and the bot began a steady rhythm of motion against the bed, making it creak.

The bot was right. This was more awkward, and you were grateful when it was finally over with about five minutes to spare.

You stood from bed and grabbed your jacket. "Thanks. This wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be." you said truthfully. In fact, you really almost thought you'd come back if for no other reason than to get another back rub.

"You still have five more minutes, is there anything else I can do for you today?"

You smiled shyly and said, "Well, I won't argue if you play with my hair again..."

***

You were of course greeted with congratulatory cheers and high-fives when you exited the room along with the other few crew mates who had recently come of age... and had still been allowed to attend shore leave that is. R.I.P Rahi and his friends. (They hadn't died, but you can bet they were probably really regretting pissing Yondu off.)

A few fellow Ravagers bought you some congratulatory drinks and the rest of the night seemed to fly by.

Eventually you caught back up with Peter and shortly after that Yondu announced it was time to head back, which of course received some disappointed grumbling among the crew. However, nobody argued, knowing it might cost them their next shore leave if they got "fussy like toddlers" as Yondu would say.

You and Peter got back to the ship to find Tullk and Oblo already there waiting. Horuz showed up just after and sighed to see Yondu and Kraglin weren't there yet. Yondu and Kraglin were the only ones with keys to Yondu's M-ship, so you all had to stand outside and converse among yourselves as he took his sweet time getting there.

He was probably just paying the Sneeper woman who owned the place and would be there any minute, but 'any minute' still felt like forever when it was cold.

Eventually he and Kraglin did show up and unlock the ship so you could all get in.

Once inside the ship and mostly everyone had strapped in Kraglin called back to you from the co-pilots seat with tipsy laughter in his voice. "So d'ya have fun? Feel any different? Any horror stories to add to the list?" He looked teasingly at Oblo and Oblo flipped him the bird.

Yondu swatted at him, saying, "Aw, leave the girl alone," but there was also laughter in his scolding, so he wasn't that serious.

You answered anyway. "Ya. Had a blast, Kraglin. Smooth sailing. Just a little sleepy."

This made the other men chuckle, though you weren't entirely sure why, although you could guess.

Yondu piped up. "If she falls asleep Quill's gotta carry her in."

Peter scoffed with a laugh. "Why do I gotta?" he said, before turning to you to add. "You better not fall asleep then."

"Well if you fall asleep I ain't carrying you in! Probably break my back if I tried. You can just stay sleeping in the ship." you laughed back.

"Why you little!" Peter cried out with a grin, aiming to poke you in the ribs, but you dodged him, returning a swat of your own to his arm. And, like on the way over, the two of you were engrossed in another slap battle. The others just let you two carry on, busy with their own conversations and laughing amongst themselves.

Eventually you and Peter did tire yourselves out and Yondu chuckled to the other men when after docking the ship he noticed you had both fallen asleep, curled up in your respective seats. Oblo snapped a picture, cooing, "Aw look! Ain't that precious!"

"Send that to me." Yondu said with a grin. "Might blow it up, hang it in the Mess Hall." This earned a laugh from the others. He looked at Tullk with a grin before exiting the ship. "Ya better wake 'em. I'm sure as hell not carryin' them to bed."

***

The next morning Yondu was alone in his quarters when he decided to call up Stakar.

After a few rings Stakar's face comes up on the screen, and the two men give a Ravager salute in greeting before Stakar asks what's brought Yondu to call him.

"I wanna talk to ya about that whole coming of age and having sex thing."

Stakar raised an eyebrow. "What about it?"

"Younger crew just get too wound up about it. It ain't healthy." Yondu responded.

Stakar still looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"Ya know what I mean." Yondu said firmly. "They get all wound up like it's the most important thing in the world, and it's because everyone makes a big old deal outta something silly like that."

"It hasn't been a problem before?" Stakar said thoughtfully. "What's changed? It's that Terran girl isn't it? Of course. She just came of age." Stakar shook his head. "I don't care what you say, you're soft on her and Peter. You can't get attached and let them influence your judgement like that, Yondu."

"No, it ain't like that," Yondu said, trying to cover his ass and continuing before Stakar can interrupt him. "It's got nothin' to do with them. I just can't have my crew bullying their mates just cause they don't wanna fuck yet or lettin' the whole thing get to their heads makin' them all disrespectful-like. Almost had to keel-haul a few boys who suddenly thought they were big enough to start disrespecting their captain over it."

Stakar looked at him suspiciously. "No, we can't have that... What do you propose then? It's not like we can stop them. You tell young people they can't do something, they're only gonna do it more."

"I know that- Look. I'm not sayin' we do away with it entirely. I could care less what they do on shore-leave. But we can maybe make them realize it's not such a big damn deal. Ya know, slow-like. Maybe they'd stop getting so wound-up about it." Yondu said, quickly adding, "If they're less focused on that maybe they'd work harder."

Stakar thought for a bit. Yondu was right, he thought. He had noticed the younger crowd getting a bit wound up about it, and sometimes they did let the excitement get ahead of their duties... "Maybe you're right," he conceded. "If it's affecting their jobs maybe we should try and change the culture around it... I'll talk with some of the other captains and get back to you."

Yondu grinned and nodded. "All I ask."

***

You felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. It was the day after shore-leave and no one had brought up how you "Became a woman" at all. It was as if the previous week's excitement had been completely forgotten, and you couldn't be happier.

You did notice in the following days that Rahi seemed to be getting a bit of flack. He hadn't been particularly well liked before, always trying to push his duties off on other crew mates or blaming others for things he had broken, but now he was practically a pariah. Even his buddies didn't seem to want much to do with him, though that could be because they were still mad that they had been dragged under into his punishment despite not having done anything to deserve it other than be with him at the time.

You almost felt bad for him until Peter explained that along with the 'written' rule that Ravagers don't deal in kids; harming or forming inappropriate relationships with children and teens (i.e: having sexual relations with younger crew) was also a HUGE no-no. Even worse if the offender is someone high-ranking. Rahi, though he just thought he was being funny, had more or less unwittingly falsely accused Yondu of breaking that part of the code with the joke he made, hence why Yondu had been so offended and pissed. Peter was honestly surprised Yondu had let him live after that.

He also added that no one wants to be around someone who thinks it's funny to make those particular jokes. Real accusations of that nature are taken very seriously among Ravager Clans, so if someone is found to just be flippantly saying crap like that, the general feel is that it makes it harder for real victims to be heard, so the crew will tend to shun the offender to make it clear that behavior isn't acceptable. And well, if the offender didn't learn their lesson pretty quick and get back into the good graces of their captain and crew, they'd quickly find themselves to be cannon fodder.

Even Ravagers know there's a line between raunchy and unacceptable.

There may have also been the matter that when Yondu had said "I'm startin' to think some of ya are gettin' a lil' too wound up about this lil' rite of passage among ya young-ins. It'd sure be a shame if you were the reason I decided to put an end to it." much of the crew, after the rumor had gotten twisted up a bit via game of telephone, had taken it to mean that Rahi had almost gotten shore-leave taken away from everyone- forever. And well, that just didn't sit right with a lot of folks. It was a final nail in the coffin, if you will.

However, what you didn't know was about Yondu's conversation with Stakar.

Stakar did go talk to the other captains, and more than a few did finally admit similar instances among their younger ranks after having heard through the grapevines about a giant stink a lad called Rahi had caused on Udonta's ship. They admitted to instances of bullying, pressure, and disrespect occurring and directly related to the particular rite of passage and collectively agreed with Yondu that a change surrounding the culture could be beneficial, much to Yondu's surprise, and also his relief.

He never did tell you about his conversation with Stakar, though he was sure you may start to suspect if everything went well and things started changing regarding that particular aspect of life. As long as no one else had to feel like he saw you feeling that night in the laundry, he'd be happy.

You had come to his quarters the day after the visit to Contraxia, knocking almost as soon as he had hung up with Stakar. You had wanted to thank him him for helping you, both with the advice and with the Love-Bot. You told him how you felt so much better after having that talk with him, and how you no longer felt broken.

He'd never say, because screw sentiment, but it warmed his heart to know he helped you realize there was nothing wrong with you, that you had never been damaged. You two parted with a hug and he let you know to not be afraid if you needed to come to him about stuff like that in the future, just not to make a habit of telling the others lest they accuse him of going soft.

You were his little girl, something else he never intended to say out loud, because again, screw sentiment. He felt a responsibility for your well-being, even if you could be a little shit like Peter sometimes.

Ah, fuck sentiment. He knew you two were his kids, and he was damn proud.

***

About a week after shore leave you and Peter happened across Yondu outside the Mess Hall doors as you were heading in for supper.

"Hey, look! It's Terran One and Terran two!" Yondu said, oddly loudly.

"Um, hi?" You gave him an odd look. "What's up?"

"Now why would ya think somethin's up? Can't a captain greet his crew outside the Mess Hall before dinner?"

'Something's definitely up.' you thought, sharing a glance with Peter who was clearly thinking the same thing. "Are we in trouble? Did we do something?" Peter chuckled nervously. He didn't know about you, but he had maybe definitely rigged a supply closet in the control room with some firecrackers, and he wasn't sure if some poor soul (probably Kraglin) had already fell victim to it, meaning he was about to be in hot water.

You were also grinning nervously. You didn't know about Peter's firecrackers, but you had also maybe definitely hidden some poppers under the cushion of Yondu's desk chair that morning when he was busy on the other side of the ship, but you weren't going to just turn yourself in without more information, now were you?

"I dunno, you tell me." Yondu said, smirking. "Are you in trouble? Ya'll got a guilty conscience?"

You and Peter shared a nervous glance. You both knew you both were most definitely guilty of something, however you two had a code. Never turn yourself in, and never turn your buddy in. You looked back at Yondu, suppressing a nervous giggle. "No? I don't think so?"

Kraglin then came outside the Mess Hall doors to stand with Yondu. Kraglin had a big shit eating grin on his face, almost as if he were trying not to laugh when he saw you and Peter there.

Yondu threw him a glance which Kraglin returned with a nod. You noticed this and you exchanged another look with Peter. Something was definitely up. This felt like a trap.

"Well, what're ya waiting for? Get in there and grab some supper!" Yondu ordered, grinning strangely. He opened the door for you- oh shit something was absolutely up here.

You and Peter eyed him suspiciously but obeyed, entering the Mess hall without a word.

Once inside you noticed the rest of the crew inside were all oddly quiet, all staring at the two of you with grins and some suppressing giggles behind their hands. You heard the doors shut behind you and turned to see Yondu and Kraglin standing in front of them, both donning the biggest shit eating grins of all time.

"Cap'n has a surprise for you guys, d'ya- do ya like it?" Kraglin asked, trying to suppress his own giggles.

You heard Peter exclaim a, "Oh hell no!" and you turned to see what had caught his attention, noticing the crew had finally broke out into loud raucous laughter around you.

Hanging high on the wall about 10 feet to the right of the Mess Hall entrance doors was a humongous blown up photo of you and Peter. It was the photo you guys didn't know Oblo had snapped when you returned from Contraxia. It showed the two of you each curled up asleep in your respective seats of Yondu's M-ship. Peter was sucking his thumb. You were cuddling one of Yondu's softer dash toys.

You both paled as you stared up at the giant poster hung high on the wall. Hung conveniently high enough that neither of you would be able to reach it to rip it down, although Peter made a few good attempts.

Your eyes narrowed at your captain as he approached you, his laughter matching that of the crew. He pulled you towards him and ruffled your hair as he asked. "What's the matter? Ya don't like yer surprise?"

You glared up at him as Peter was now climbing up on a chair in a vain attempt to reach and pull the photo down. "This so means war, blue man!"

"Don't pick fights ya can't win, pipsqueak." Yondu laughed. "Consider this payback for those poppers in my chair, and ya can tell Peter this is for those firecrackers in the supply closet."

You sighed and punched him in the arm, but he only laughed and pulled you in close to ruffle your hair again, "Oh lighten up! Ya don't really expect me to just let my kids have all the fun, huh?"

You jerked your head towards him with a surprised expression, and it seemed it was only then he realized what he had said. Grateful that no one else would have heard it over his noisy crew he attempted to backtrack. "Uh, don't read too much into it." he said, clapping you on the back and announcing to Kraglin that he was going to grab some food. Kraglin, who was busy laughing at Peter, who had seemingly given up his attempts to rip down the photo in favor of walking dejectedly back over to you, nodded and joined his Captain in obtaining some supper.

Peter and you turned to face the photo again, the laughter from the crew still not having died down. Peter spoke first. "This means war, right?"

"Definitely. I had already set up a dye pack in Yondu's shower earlier. He'll be a weird shade of purple by morning," you affirmed with a grin.

"Nice. We gotta get one on Kraglin too."

"Absolutely," you reply. "After supper?"

"Yeah. After supper." Peter agreed.

The two of you made your way to get your supper, ignoring the laughs and teases of the other Ravagers along the way and discussing further options of getting Yondu and Kraglin back for this.

He may be like a father to you two, but that didn't mean he'd get off easy.

#gotg #gotg fanfiction #guardians of the galaxy #yondu x reader #long fanfiction #yondu udonta #x reader #reader is a ravager #papa!yondu #daddy!yondu #peter quill #peter quill x reader #yondu udonta x reader #kraglin #ace #demi #ace!reader #demi!reader #sfw

[strawberri-syrup]

have a Ramble

idk what to call this because i dont think its a fic?? but also idk here we go bby (for those who dont know this is based on my stardew valley au :] )

also this is about michael and how ranboo and tubbo found him!

so michael

mans a puppycat type animal

still want him to be a hybrid, but also i dont want to give some teenagers responsibility over an actual child lmao

think puppycat but more weird and abnormal looking

might do a quick sketch later if i feel like it

CONCEPT THING TIME :D

tubbo finds him on the farm

ranboo was pulling some weeds to prepare for the chanign season when he heard tubbo call him

man was off climbing trees and causing chaos to escape actually having to do *gasp* manual labor

the thing tubbo pointed out was a strange looking animal

weirdly colored fur that was matted in places

it was literally every color fur could be

fucking rainbow or smthn idk

they decided to keep it because of course they did

theyre two teenage boys left mostly unsupervised and they found a cool lookinig animal

why wouldnt they keep it??

simple answer

man bites

like hard

i mean it makes sense

two random things grabbing you out of your home??

id freak out too tbh

took the two of them about a month to gain his trust

they also kept him a secret because wilbur would 100% make them get rid of him is he knew that he was hurting them

made hiding the bandages a bitch tho

eventually ranboo was able to pick him up

and it took another week for the thing to trust him enough to stand on his shoulders

the first time he did it tubbo lost his shit

as he should

the two of them named him michael because its a good word

good sounds and all that

fancy enough for their gremlin

they planned to keep michael a secret for a little while longer

maybe until they had tommy make him a collar

but it all went to shit because of course it did

michael got spooked by another animal while ranboo was farming and ran away

since he was sitting on his shoulder michael gave him a nasty cut accross the mouth

(which is why ranboo wear a mask btw, the cut left a nasty scar)

and michael ran into town

which led to a very panicked and also bleeding heavily ranboo sprinting to the general store and asking everyone if theyd seen his thing

this was when the lack of species really hit

what was he supposed to say????

have you seen my angry blob of fur? he responds to michael, bitchboy, gremlin, and bike

n o

so the obviously spooked niki took him to the clinic and forced ranboo to let her treat his wound

mind you man was losing his shit the whole time

borderline hysterical

because that gremlin was basically an emotional support animal at that point

 once niki calmed him down some she managed to get a basic explanation

not a good one, but an explanation at least

she walked ranboo over to SBI’s house near the river and explained to them what happened

tubbo was obviously upset because his friend had bandages wrapped around his face and their “son” was missing

tommy was just confused and upset becuase tubbo was upset

wilbur was both concerned and exasperated

because of course he couldnt trust those two little shits (affectionate) to just farm alone

so they spend the rest of the day looking for michael

and you know where they find him

do you know

after hours of searching

of spending hours crawling through bushes and bugs to find michael

do you know where he had the audactiy to be hiding

ranboos bed

man went back home

hid under the sheets and everything

twas an upsetting day for all

but now practically everyone knew about michael and no one wanted him to go missing again

both because holy shit ranboo lost a lot of blood

and also because no one wanted to see the chaotic gremlins sad 

yea thats all i got, turned out more rambly then i intended but here ya go :]

#dsmp #ranboo #tubbo #dream smp au #i Did Not proofread this #idk what im doing #the words left my brain once they were down #writing is hard mad respect to all fic writers holy shit #sdv au :] #<<< au tag if u wanna check it out!! #also please be nice ive literally never written something like fic before #the rest of the au is just concepts #not something with an actual plot jksfdjk

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

songs on taylor swift’s LOVER (2019), a concept album about eliot waugh and quentin coldwater from SYFY’s the magicians, rated by how much they are about eliot waugh and quentin coldwater from SYFY’s the magicians

i forgot that you existed - lmao these dummies will never be over each other. bumped a bit because it would be good on the soundtrack for the fic i still kinda want someone to write where eliot gets brainwashed by the dark king who for god’s sake is not trying to bring back to life his beloved who died because of homophobia and gets catfished by his dead brother but is just a supernatural evil despot manipulating eliot’s pain and erasing his memories of quentin only to be defeated of course by the power of true love. weak showing to start but things quickly improve. 2/10

cruel summer - this is a song about being out of your mind with horniness for someone you would rather die than admit you’ve caught feelings for, which is.... VERY queliot. love eliot watching quentin at a hotel vending machine at night and insisting to himself, “i’m not dying.” good for a non-beast AU where quentin dates alice and eliot dates some non-possessed normie boy and they both get dumped finals week and get obliteratingly drunk in the physical kids’ cottage as bros and hook up and wake up like “LOL haha rebound sex” and then it happens again and they’re like, sure, you know, why not, you’re heartbroken, i’m heartbroken, let’s help each other forget about it by fucking like rabbits, except of course by august eliot is drunk in the back of the car crying like a baby coming home from the bar because he is not fine about all the times he has told quentin it’s fine. ALTERNATELY this is actually just quentin in the mosaic timeline after they hook up and he wakes up in the morning totally ready to talk about how they’re dating now and eliot is like LET’S NOT OVERTHINK THINGS and quentin’s like, haha yeah ok! and they keep having mindblowing outdoor sex but like as bros and quentin regrets every waking moment agreeing to pretend not to overthink things with his best friend who is amazing in bed and who also he is definitely falling in love with. “breakable heaven” is a good description of the mosaic timeline, because many pieces and because it broke by never happening. bonus point because “i love you, ain’t that the worse thing you ever heard?” is SO eliot and also SO quentin in related but distinct ways. 8/10

lover - UGH!!!! SO QUELIOT!!!! “have i known you twenty seconds or twenty years” vs. “i bond fast, time is an illusion.” “can i go where you go” for two people who have been thrown together and torn apart so many times is wildly romantic. “my heart’s been borrowed and your heart’s been blue” = i dated a possessed guy and then became a possessed guy and you are chronically depressed. “you’ll save all your dirtiest jokes for me” is all about eliot’s smirks. i ALREADY have feelings about taylor swift, a human being who spent most of her adult life ruled by the lingering wounds of having been uncool in eighth grade, putting in her big sweet love song the line, “and at every table i’ll save you a seat,” but i have SO MANY MORE feelings when i apply that to quentin coldwater, who ate lunch in the bathroom on days that julia was absent because of the horror of finding somewhere to sit in the high school cafeteria. 9/10

the man - margo says she hates this song because it’s white feminism but whenever she gets drunk at karaoke she makes quentin sing it with her. he always flips his hair on “i’d be just like leo in st tropez,” because he is the only other person besides taylor swift in america uncool enough to think that’s still a reference that conjures up associations of a sexy awesome playboy. 3/10

the archer - FUCKING!!!!!!!!!!! GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is... ok. ok. i’m calm. this is the eliot song of all time. “i’m ready for combat / i say i don’t want that / but what if i do” is about eliot’s reactivity and his fear that on some level he wants to blow everything up more than he wants to be loved. we don’t know what started the fight we see in the mosaic timeline but what we glimpse is very “cruelty wins in the movies”: this impulse to win by pushing the other person away to avoid your own vulnerability. “i’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches i almost said to you” is eliot unpossessed after quentin is alive but before he and alice have broken up thinking about all the apologetic true love confessions he made charlton watch him rehearse. “i search for your dark side / but what if i’m alright right right right here” is about refusing to believe in good things because they are so threatening when your formative experiences of love and family were so unsafe. “i cut off my nose just to spite my face / and i hate my reflection for years and years” is, quite literally, just the exact plot of 4x05. “i wake in the night / i pace like a ghost / the room is on fire / invisible smoke” is more A+ abandonment issues content, and i can’t even TALK about “all of my heroes die all alone” in the context of eliot waugh who FULLY has on MANY occasions raised a toast to living fast dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse and has never himself been wholly sure exactly how much he was kidding. “all the king’s horses and all the king’s men / couldn’t put me together again / cuz all of my enemies started out friends” is first of all a very funny thing for a former high king of fillory to say, and second upsetting because MOSAIC, PIECES, MINOR MENDINGS, ELIOT SEES HIMSELF AS A BROKEN THING, and third devastating because of how much of the Trauma Chalkboard involves times eliot has betrayed other people. ok FINE we can start talking about the refrains now, even though they CAUSE ME THE MOST PAIN. “help me hold on to you” is the subtext of every post-4x13 queliot fic for the very good reason that it’s the most vulnerable and beautiful and real thing eliot could ever say. “i’ve been the archer / i’ve been the prey” is again about eliot as a person full of regret for all the ways he has lashed out in his life against people other than the ones who wounded him so deeply. “screaming who could ever leave me darling / but who could stay” is sooooo eliot, with the drama and affect of it all (“darling!”), and the performed belief in his own excellence combined with his deep insecurity. “they see right through me” is about how he’s secretly afraid everyone can smell on him that he grew up on a farm in indiana, “can you see right through me” is about both fearing and hoping that quentin will see all of him, “i see right through me” is about how hard he’s lied to himself about wanting love. the best song in the world probably. 20/10.

i think he knows - my favorite thing about adult taylor swift referencing anything about adolescence is that taylor swift had a totally deranged abnormal adolescence because she spent the whole thing first trying to be famous and then actually being outrageously famous. so i love it when she says “it’s like i’m 17 nobody understands,” because when she was actually 17 she was dating a jonas brother for like 3 months and then writing break-up songs that made it sound like she was never that into it, so it’s like this idea of being 17 and hormonal in some kind of normal context where you actually are thinking about sex all day instead of meeting with your branding team. this is a fun idea to extrapolate to eliot & quentin, who were both miserable at 17 and never got the experience of devoting your brain full-time to all-consuming horniness for the first person to ever give you an orgasm, but who can now experience that with each other. also “his hands around a cold glass make me wanna know that body like it’s mine” is a queliot line because of my very strong personal headcanon that eliot is obsessed with quentin’s hands. 6/10

miss americana and the heartbreak prince - see above re: tswift & teenhood. "when i was 16 / lost in a film scene” is even better because actual teen taylor swift spent many hours of her life literally acting out on film these like pathologically normative high school scenarios that she never lived because she dropped out after ninth grade, and because this song is all about like, image vs reality but is also itself a fantasy? fucked up and weird, i love it. taylor swift spent so many years portraying her specific teen shame as being about her deep dweebery and i think it’s really funny that in this song she is still an outcast but now it is because she is like, too sexy and misbehaving, both through the line “they whisper in the hallways she’s a bad bad girl” and by setting it to basically a lana del rey track. i feel like this is a very eliot move, to rewrite your own history of exclusion as more glamorous and flattering than it was, to portray yourself as like this debauched rebel instead of a sad gay kid in a homophobic environment. eliot obviously was never enamored with this kind of stock teen americana imagery the way taylor was, but i think he has that same tension of deeply resenting one image while being very drawn to another one. extra point because “heartbreak prince” is such a hilarious and amazing way to describe quentin. 7/10

paper rings - good song for a very chill no-beast AU. “i like fancy things but i’d marry you with paper rings” is very eliot. it’s cute to imagine eliot reading all of the books besides quentin’s bed not because he likes them but because he wants to get to know quentin better. “i want your dreary mondays” is a nice thing for either of these dudes to hear. 5/10

cornelia street - all songs about being overwhelmed and terrified by love are about eliot waugh!!!!! especially songs where someone does something casually that is clearly not casual at all. it rules that both of the key metaphors in the verses are extremely quentin images: fresh page on the desk / card sharks playing games. stories and magic! thinking about eliot and quentin barefoot in a kitchen together makes me want to cry, for normal reasons. 8/10

death by a thousand cuts - i have to be honest, for a long time i thought it sucked that the best song on this album was actually not about queliot, but then i saw the light and realized that this is a song about how totally incomprehensible it is that you’re supposed to just move on with your life when someone you loved absolutely is no longer yours, so ACTUALLY, this song is totally about quentin after the mosaic! “i ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright / they say i don’t know.” trying to be normal while secretly dying inside. “i look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up / chandelier’s still flickering here” = i said it was chill when you compartmentalized our 50 years as soulmates as something that happened to other people but actually the me i am right now wants you real bad! “what once was ours is no one’s now” because it happened in an alternate timeline that never existed. “you said it was a great love / one for the ages / but if the story’s over / why am i still writing pages” = you said it was kind of beautiful but also that wasn’t really me but if so then why do i want to bone you so bad. gets even more fucked up if you extend it properly into season 4. MY HEART MY HIPS MY BODY MY LOVE / TRYING TO FIND A PART OF ME THAT YOU DIDN’T TOUCH: a line i can only ever type in all-caps and about which i can say nothing because it is perfect. “gave up on me like i was a bad drug” is also very quentin reflecting bitterly on eliot. saying goodbye to your possessed ex is death by a thousand cuts because that’s how many times the monster sockpuppeting his body is going to randomly show up in your apartment covered in blood. the morning comes and you’re not my baby, because you have been possessed. flashbacks waking me up because i have PTSD now from watching your body murder like 80 people.  8/10

london boy - lmao. no 0/10

soon you’ll get better - I Feel Weird Jokingly Assigning A Rating To Taylor Swift’s Very Sad Song About How Taylor Swift’s Actual Mom Has Actual Cancer Based On How Much It Relates To A Fictional Couple In Which One Person Has A Parent Who Dies Of Cancer So I’m Going To Rate This Not Applicable. N/A. great song tho

false god - jesus, does she really go london boy / soon you’ll get better / false god? her sequencing is so deranged. anyway i know i was JUST talking about my interest in fic where quentin and eliot get together but don’t necessarily talk out every single one of their 800 issues in the timespan covered by the story, but this song about make-up sex is still not very queliot to me, possibly because i cannot get past the dorkiness of taylor swift calling herself new york city. “you can't talk to me when I'm like this / daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you” is pretty good though. “if you want to live your life live it here...” damn eliot waugh and taylor swift really are like the same person on the level of psychological architecture. i know i keep saying it but it keeps freaking me out. 4/10

you should calm down - eliot unfollowed jonathan van ness on twitter after the video for this came out. he unfollowed antoni too but then refollowed him because he’s hot.  -1000000/10.

afterglow - so THIS song about fighting actually DOES have very queliot vibes. and it’s funny, because i keep talking about eliot’s fear of lashing out and hurtfully pushing away people he loves, and i think he does have that impulse (”if you want to live your life live it here...” what did you MEAN eliot), and i also think he’s SUPER afraid of that within himself, partly because of how the dynamics of his childhood make anger and conflict really fraught for him... but actually the character we more often see being a huge dick because of his own issues is, in fact, quentin, and that is who this song about. we all know i am obsessed with the scene where quentin comes sheepishly back to alice apologizing for being an asshole because it’s so vulnerable and honest and such a powerful moment of growth for him... as robbed as i feel of like tearfully joyful queliot reunions i also feel robbed that we never got to see quentin and eliot have a moment like that together! 7/10

me! - absolutely not. -30/10

it’s nice to have a friend - i like this song but the way taylor talks about it always makes me kind of sad, because she draws this equivalence between being excited about a friend as a kid and being excited about romance as an adult that really does make it sound like she thinks in adulthood romance takes over a place that friendship used to occupy, instead of co-existing with it... but she’s also talked a lot about the importance of finding who her real friends are so idk maybe i’m being too hard on her and also oversensitive because of certain plot developments. “call my bluff / call you babe” is cute. card sharks! pet names! 5/10

daylight - R U KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE QUELIOT ANTHEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! two people who have been hurt and hurt others, who have spent a long time running away from their own hearts, who have been confused about what they want... “i wounded the good and i trusted the wicked / clearing the air i breathed in the smoke” about every mistake and regret and fuck-up... “maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down / maybe i’ve stormed out of every single room in this town”... the trauma chalkboard, the fight outside the hedge bar... the people you become to try to erase the person you’re afraid you are... and then! “throw out our cloaks and our daggers because it’s morning now / it’s brighter now”... to find peace in the person you never need to hide yourself from... the transformative power of letting yourself be seen... “i can still see it all in my mind / all of you all of me intertwined”... i can still remember this other life that never happened which matters not because it’s where i fell in love with you but because it’s where i revealed my whole self and learned that whole self could be loved.... and of course above all most crucially, “i once believed love would be burning red / but it’s golden / like daylight”... the very beautiful story the magicians accidentally almost told was a story about letting go of the narratives you’ve been taught to want and realizing that as much as real life and hard and scary it is also lovelier than any of those wan old stories... “i wanna be defined by the things that i love, not the things that i hate, or the things that i’m afraid of”... please!!!!!!! 100000000000000/10

#the magicians #queliot #we're doing. great. just. just having fun normal times qreating quarantine qontent #no readmores we alienate our followers like men #if u can't handle me at my Completely Fucking Losing My Entire Mind About Something Fully Unhinged #this is not the blog for u my friend

[jawnjendes]

little fighter | shawn mendes

university au, shawn x goth gf

an: this is apart of @fourtristattoos spring fest. i didn’t go with the weekly theme but i did use a few of the prompts from the list provided, and i will continue to do so for this series until the fest is over. honestly, im really proud of this chapter in particular, and it would be cool if ppl read it or whatever. if you like whats going on here, blease check out my masterlist for this series :)

masterlist | series playlist

For someone who acts composed with no fucks to give, I harbor quite a bit of guilt. I've always felt bad about things I did or did not have control over. I came from a good family. My parents never divorced, and they supported me through and through. I was always a good student in school, I even got into not one, but three amazing psychology departments at different universities. I had good friends throughout my life. I loved and lost. I experienced things the typical human goes through, and that was before I moved to Canada.

I was quite lucky. Nothing tragic happened in my childhood or teen years to make me the way I am now.

No, I don't count my abnormal digestive issues as something tragic. It's not tragic. Besides, that started in my early adulthood and yes, I harbored guilt about that too because I was able to manage it without much hassle.

So tell me why my self esteem was so shot that I went after shitty people so they could love me the way younger me imagined. Tell me why I got so depressed before university that I stopped going to work and school. Tell me what I did that made me a nervous stick in the mud. When and why did my brain become my biggest enemy?

This isn't about my not-tragic backstory. This is about where I'm at now. I've done my crying and wallowing. I go to therapy and swallow my pills.

I'm worried this will be perceived as a “she got a boyfriend and now she's healed” trope. It's not that. Like I said, I've done my healing. The fact that I have Shawn now is a very, very fortunate bonus. I know my worth now, even though sometimes I feel like I don't deserve him. I know what I don't deserve, and that's every relationship I had before Shawn came along.

He wasn't ashamed of his own feelings. There was never a moment where he didn’t tell me how he felt about me. He wasn't afraid to tell people that I was his girlfriend. He was all but bursting whenever he talked about our families meeting. I know that's the barest of minimums, but you would be surprised at the amount of relationships I had that were 50% shame and 50% hiding.

Shawn was always going the extra mile for me. If my digestive system was messing itself up, he kept me bed bound at his apartment, and he nursed me back to health. If I was bored to death at work, he would come and visit me after my manager's shift ended. He would drive thirty minutes into town to bring me lunch as well.

Work. That's where this is going. I was sat in my tiny office with Manager Stacy and Coworker Jason, counting down the minutes to my break. It had been a long day, what with customers complaining about $30 oil changes, or telling me their life stories in a rude manner over the phone. I had to smile at gross older men staring down my shirt as they paid for their car service. Stacy was short tempered and tired, so she gave us hell for little things like the printer being out of paper. She yelled at Luca for slouching in his chair, and that prompted him to leave the room. At least he had the liberty to to do that. I had to stay at my tiny window and feel Stacy's third eye burn a hole in the back of my head.

I would have texted Shawn telling him to just take me somewhere for lunch as opposed to bringing me something, but I didn't want to get yelled at for being on my phone. I just pretended to add up gas receipts while periodically looking at the time on the computer.

Somehow, Shawn read my mind. I saw him enter the dealership from my post, and he was empty handed. Typically, he had a to-go bag from my favorite restaurant. He made eye contact with me and smiled, coming up to my tiny window. Before he could say anything, a male voice called his name.

A deep pit formed in my stomach as Luca excitedly came into view. He greeted Shawn with a handshake/bro hug and a “What's up, man?”

Not going to lie, I forgot they knew each other. I forgot that Luca gave Shawn the concept for his song Mercy, even though I skipped that song when it came on these days.

I grabbed my purse from under my desk as I let the two catch up. I told Stacy I was taking my lunch break and then stepped out of the office. I stepped up to Shawn, still feeling uneasy.

“What brings you here, man?” Luca asked him. “Need service on your car? Or are you finally trading that thing in?”

“Nah, I'm just here to see my girl,” he replied as he took my hand.

Luca tilted his head and pursed his lips the way he always did when he was confused. His eyes trailed towards me like he barely noticed I was there.

“You two?” he asked in disbelief.

“Four and a half months,” Shawn replied with a smile.

I couldn't help but triumph in the shocked expression Luca had on his face. I smiled a little bit.

“I thought you were lying about that,” he said to me.

“Why would I?” I asked in return. Then, I walked towards the building exit, dragging Shawn with me.

~

I'm not one for flexing what I got, but I was particularly happy about Shawn walking me back into the dealership when we got back from lunch. We went for sushi down the street and spent most of my lunch hour in the car. We were still in our own little world, I was genuinely smiling. Other salesmen who worked here had to do a double take because I wasn't doing the typical customer service smile.

We stopped at the door to my office. Shawn planted a quick kiss on me and promised to see me later. I couldn't help but watch him as he walked past the office window towards the exit. I was okay to think about our little world until the end of my shift tonight. However, I was snapped back into reality at the sound of all too familiar words coming out of the all too familiar devil's mouth.

“Fucking whore…”

My smile dropped, but I was ready to roll my eyes and move on. Shawn, on the other hand, stopped in his tracks and turned on his heel. He went up to the window and looked directly at Luca.

“What did you just say?” he asked, leaning on the little ledge. He was smiling, but it wasn't hard to tell that he was annoyed.

“I'm just calling it as I see it,” Luca replied with an all too casual shrug. “She tell you what she got up to before you came along?”

I know I said I was about to let it go… but I ended up barging into the office and going right up to Luca. I grabbed the arm of the chair he was sitting in and forcibly turned him towards me.

“You don't get to do that,” I said loudly, not caring about my professional reputation at the moment.

Luca had an amused look on his stupid face. His dimples showed, and he was trying not to laugh.

“No - you don't get to act like I don't exist and then get salty because I found someone who's way better than you will ever be!” I pointed a finger at him. “You're the last person who gets to call me a whore! You broke the pieces of me that I gave you! You toyed with me for two and a half years, you manipulated and used me and you do not get to call me a whore because I decided I deserve better! You don't get to make any criticisms about my life. Get fucked!”

Silence rang through the tiny office. Jason and Stacy were standing at the back, mouths open. The smirk on Luca's face had vanished, and his face flushed with embarrassment. I was ready to throw hands if he dared to speak.

Then, Shawn spoke. “Let's step out for a second.”

My eyes darted to him. He nodded his head to the side, towards some customers who had lined up behind him. One was a girl about my age who was smiling at the tea being spilled. Behind her was an older couple who looked annoyed at my lack of professionalism.

“Go,” Stacy piped up in her stern manager voice. “I'll help these guys.”

I sighed angrily and went out the door again. I muttered an “excuse me” as I went past the small line of customers and I walked past Shawn. He quickly followed me, telling me to slow down.

“Hey!” He jogged up to me as I stepped outside into the oncoming night. He grabbed my hand to stop me. “Honey…”

I wanted to childishly pull away from his grasp and fold my arms. I wanted to run back inside and drop kick my coworker. Steam was still blowing out of my ears, and I wanted to fucking fight.

“Does he always say things like that?” Shawn asked.

“Yes,” I grumbled, looking out at the shiny new vehicles that were displayed in the parking lot. “That's all I am to him, that's all I've been to him since I broke up with him.”

“And you just let him get away with it?”

My seething eyes now pointed at my boyfriend. I yanked my hand away from his and flailed both my arms as I unleashed another bout of rage. “You think this is the first time I've yelled at him? You think I always just lay back and take it all the time? I'm always sticking up for myself in this god awful place because I'm the bitch who doesn't smile! Nobody here has my back! My own boss didn't even say anything to him! If you think I'm the type to take-”

Shawn quickly held his hands up, trying to calm my hysterical movements. “Okay, okay! I'm sorry. I know you don't take anyone's bullshit. He deserved to get yelled at. I would have done it myself, but you're my little fighter.” He offered a smile.

If there was any special nickname he had for me that wasn't the typical “honey” or anything involving my all black attire, it was that. “Little fighter.” Hearing it helped diffuse some of my anger.

I finally felt rational enough to take a deep breath, calming me down even more. Shawn offered his hand, but I wasn't ready for that just yet.

He thought otherwise. “Please, just take my hand.”

“I am a fighter,” I said, folding my arms. “I did not go through various amounts of bullshit to let some fuckboy tear me down.”

Shawn just looked at me for a moment, then he agreed. “That's right.” He was still holding his hand out. “And you're very cute when you're angry.”

I rolled my eyes. “You know, I wanted to kick the shit out of my coworker, but since you're here…”

He chuckled. “Okay, okay. What I meant is, I'm just glad you know your worth. And seeing you stand up for yourself is probably the hottest thing I've ever seen you do.”

Now I took his hand. “Shut up.”

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #fourtristattoosspring #shawn x goth gf #ya this was loosley inspired by greys anatomy #and my own personal experience lol

[hercleverboy]

Paint White Roses Red

masterlist

part one : down the rabbit hole 

part three: off with her head

Asylum AU

PAIRING: Jefferson x reader

WARNINGS: Swearing, over all angst, themes of violence. 

PART TWO: PAINT WHITE ROSES RED

She’d been sitting in her room, now on the last few chapters of her book, absentmindedly humming to a made up tune when a knock sounded through the room. Before she could answer, it was thrown open, and her guard told her that she was wanted by Nurse Harlow. Y/N knew exactly what that meant. It was a simple concept, Good behaviour would be rewarded and bad would result in punishment, but Y/N couldn’t help but push the mark a little, though she knew the pain she’d have to withstand as a consequence. In all honestly, she did it purposefully, knowing full well of the result. She felt very little these days, mostly letting her mind get away from her. The pain, whilst excruciating, allowed her to at least feel something. She knew where the room was, it was down in the lowest floor of the hospital, though that did nothing to mask the horrifying screams that often came from it. She had to be escorted to the room, because that’s what Harlow demanded it be done. Y/N wasn’t sure why, though she was never really told much anyway. As she waited outside the room with the large white door, she noticed how a musty smell hung in the air of the hollow hallways, and her mind drifted back to the man she’d met earlier that day. Was it so crazy to believe in such a theory? Perhaps, but she’d decided that she’d play along just as an excuse to be able to speak to the man who’d made her laugh, and completely captivated her. She couldn’t help but think that he was impeccably handsome, and the fact that some people thought he was insane wouldn’t change the fact that she’d continue to get to know him. They called her crazy too, so she supposed there wasn’t much difference between them. She’s broken by her thoughts as the large white doors swing open. There, with a twisted smirk on her red painted lips, stands Nurse Harlow.

“Miss Y/L/N. Please, come in.” She steps back to allow Y/N to enter, and Y/N sits in the familiar metal chair that sits in the centre of the room. She knows the procedure by now. She would sit down and Harlow would probably mock her about something or other, attempting to belittle her, though it never really effected Y/N. Then her hands would be cuffed to the chair, and the metal reinforcements would latch onto the sides of her head and she’d be given something to bite down on. The dial controlling the amount of bolts of electricity being sent to her brain would be cranked up, not enough to emit long lasting damage, but enough to cause unimaginable pain. And Harlow would laugh as it happened , watching almost happily as the juice hit Y/N’s brain, her screams filling the air. She must get some kind of sick kick out of it, Y/N thought.

Nurse Harlow looks down at the clipboard in front of her, as other nurses strap Y/N’s hands down. She tuts, shaking her finger at Y/N disapprovingly. “Swearing, again, Y/N? You should know not to use such foul words,” She cackled. “But I suppose, with all those voices trapped in that small head of yours, you just can’t help yourself.”

It was Y/N’s turn to laugh now, as for the first time in a while, she really took in Nurse Harlow’s appearance. She was of a small frame, though her head appeared to be quite out of proportion with her shoulders. Her head was just abnormally large. Her thin, red and wispy hair looked like straw, and a cyan blue colour eyeshadow sat on her eyelids, which had been applied terribly. She giggled, and Nurse Harlow scowled.

“Why are you- what’s so funny?” She demanded, and Y/N took a deep breath from her giggles.

“You— You really are The Queen Of Hearts, aren’t you?” She giggled again, at how she really did resemble the fairy tale character.

“Shut up– Shut up!” The nurse yelled, and Y/N’s laughter slowly died down when a harsh slap sounded through the room, and Y/N could feel her cheek burning from the contact. That was going to leave a mark. “It would appear, Y/N, that you’ve been spending too much time with Jefferson. He was here earlier too, and I suspect he’ll be back soon. If he continues to spit such ridiculous theories..” She trails off, and Y/N sneered at her. “Dear Y/N, It would seem his theories have corrupted you.” The Nurse snarled, waving for her assistant to come. The assistant places something for Y/N to bite down on in her mouth as the metal clamped around her skull. And then the juice started flowing.

Stumbling down the hallway, she’s guided by a rough hand on her arm that pulls her around each winding corner. Her guard allows her to steady herself against him as he speaks. “Would you like to go down to the free time room, Y/N?” His voice gets lost amongst others inside her head, though she manages to nod her head and allows him to drag her faint and hazy body through to the large room. He places her down onto the chair and leaves her to her own mind.

‘What’re you doing Y/N? Hurting yourself just to feel something? You’re psychotic.’

“No, no. I’m fine.” She grips her hair in her hands, holding her head.

‘Perhaps that’s why you’ll believe that madman’s ramblings. So you’ll find an excuse for your pathetic existence-?’

‘And developing silly feelings for him? Do you believe he could ever want you?”

“Please. No more.” She whispers to herself, lost inside her own head. She calms herself down eventually, and the voices get drowned out, leaving as well. She looks up from her seat, to see the hatter himself sitting in the chair he’d now deemed as his, across from her.

“Does that happen a lot?” He asks, as he twiddles his thumbs.

“What?” She asks, her once erratic breathing finally returning to a normal pace.

“The voices. What do they say?” He seems genuinely interested, and she finds it odd, though she replies hesitantly.

“It’s mostly just self-degrading thoughts. They tell me what I don’t want to hear.” She mumbled, leaning back in her chair, resting her heavy head on her hand. He opens his mouth to speak, but she decided to change the subject. “So tell me, Hatter. How’ve you been?”

“Well, Dear Alice,” He sounds sarcastic, though serious when he refers to Y/N as Alice. “I’ve figured out something else.” He smirks, and Y/N raises a an eyebrow.

“Oh? Do tell.” She asks, giggling a little, once again intrigued. Without looking, he points a sturdy finger to the left of him, and Y/N follows it, and finds herself looking at a young boy. He must only be around the age of 15, sitting alone, facing the wall. There’s nothing distinctly wrong with him, nothing that she could instantly pinpoint. As she’s about to ask why Jefferson pointed towards him, the kid turns around, and that’s when Y/N eyes land on his face. A bloody smile has been carved into his cheeks, from the corner of his lips to his ear, leaving the flesh rather jagged as it attempted to heal itself. She wasn’t shocked, there were many people who came here with problems of self mutilation. She looked back at Jefferson, and urged him to continue.

“The kids name is Tom. Really freaky guy, and that’s coming from me.” He chuckles, shaking his head. “He’s supposed to of done that to himself before murdering his mother and sister in cold blood. They caught him, and sent him straight here.” His eyes lock on Y/N’s, and his tongue darts out to wet his dry lips. “But D’ya wanna know who he really is, Doll?”

She smirked, recognising that he wanted her to answer. “With a smile like that? I’d bet he’s the Cheshire Cat. Does he speak in riddles too?” Her tone was slightly mocking, though knew how serious it was to him.

“Don’t mock me, Dear.” He smirked too, his signature look, “But yes, he is The Cheshire Cat indeed. You’re getting rather good at this.”

“Yeah, Well.” She tilted her head to the side as she spoke the next question. “Did you get called to visit Harlow today?”

He nodded, his demeanour suddenly changing. “I really hate that woman, with a passion. The Queen was always cruel, but I never—“ He stopped mid sentence as he noticed the angry red mark on her cheek, that he really hadn’t noticed until now. He reached forward in his seat, his fingertips gently touching the marks. “She— She hurt you?”

Y/N nodded, and watched as his teeth clenched.

“How dare she lay her hands on you. I’ll fucking kill her, I swear I’ll-“ He seethed, but was cut off by Y/N placing her own hand over his. He was very protective over her, perhaps because of how he believed she was his Alice.

“I’m fine, Jefferson. Really.” She held his hand comfortingly, and he nodded, though he was still furious.

“I know, love. I’m sorry. It’s just you’re mine— my Alice— and I can’t let anything hurt you.”

Over the next few weeks, Y/N and Jefferson became practically inseparable. Whenever he got the chance, he’d sit with his beautiful Alice and speak with her, ask her how she was. Every free-time they had resulted in fits of laughter and loving touches. She had undoubtedly fallen in love with him, and he with her, though he’d repeatedly claim that she —Alice — had loved him all those years ago when they’d been back in Wonderland together. And though Y/N didn’t remember the life he claimed they’d lived together, she merely thought of it as a privilege. She felt privileged to have been able to fall in love with him all over again. The pair loved each other as much as they could in the hospital where if they got too hand-sy for the guards liking, they’d be separated for the day. Sometimes, Jefferson would manage to escape from his room, running up the staircase to her room, where she’d be able to hear him calling for her outside as he was dragged away again, yelling that he loved her as she giggled. He’d do it a thousand times and face Nurse Harlow’s punishments if it meant he could hear her melodic laugh. The pair where a nuisance to the hospital staff, to put it simply.

One evening, they sat in the free time room, Y/N laughing at some silly joke Jefferson had made, holding one another’s hands. That’s as much as the pair where allowed to touch, though that never stopped Jefferson from attempting to steal a kiss before being pulled away by the staff, unhappy that he still hadn’t kissed you. He promised himself he would one day.

“Jefferson?” Y/N asked, and he looked at her.

“Yes, Doll?”

“Can you tell me about our lives together, before the uh— the curse?” She sounded silly, she knew she did. But to him, oh, to him it meant the world. It meant everything that she wanted to know of their lives together.

And so he explained. How she’d fallen down the rabbit hole into Wonderland. Confused and scared, he’d offered to help her, just a lonely Hatter looking for company. He told of how he’d fallen in love with her. How she returned his feelings, and decided that she’d stay in Wonderland with him. He’d usually be elsewhere during the day, tailoring clothes for others to pass his time whilst you awaited his return.

“And one day, well, one day you weren’t there when I came back.” He sighed. “I searched everywhere for you, I—I thought you’d left me.” He looked down, away from Y/N.

“What happened?” She asked, her voice small.

“Someone from the village told me That they’d caught word that you’d lost your way in the forest and had ended up in the Queens castle gardens. Her men had caught you, brought you to her, but you’d managed to escape.” He looked up, an almost proud smile on his face as She laughed, moving onto her next question

“And Why do you always wear that scarf around your neck?” She asked, suddenly finding that she’d never actually seen him without it. She’d seen him without his hat a handful of times, though he was extremely protective of it, but never without his scarf.

He seemed hesitant, though he supposed she’d see why eventually. Letting go of her hand, he unwrapped the scarf from his neck, letting it fall onto his lap with a smile.

She didn’t react how he’d expected her to. She hadn’t yelped and backed away, nor had she called him hideous and left him. Instead, She reached her hand up to gently trace the scar that wrapped itself around his neck.

“Where’s this from?” She asked, eyes searching his.

“The Queen Herself. Cut off my head back in Wonderland.” He said quietly, staring off into the distance, seemingly in a sort of trance. “She wanted information on you, To know your background and all I knew about you after you’d escaped her men, when you painted the white roses in her garden red, Alice. And I couldn’t— I wouldn’t — I would never put you in harms way,” he looked at Y/N, and tears began to form at the edge of his eyes.

“Hey, Hey. Jefferson. It’s okay. We’re okay.” She attempts to console him, but her attempts fail, and he stands up, beginning to nervously pace the area that their two chairs sat in. He was mumbling the same words over and over again, though they were so quiet, Y/N couldn’t comprehend them.

He giggled, which soon turned into almost animalistic laughter, as he doubled over, howling in his chuckles. This caught the attention of the guards in the room, who moved to restrain him. He thrashed around in their arms, absolutely erratic, attempting to leave their harsh grasp, still cackling as he looked at Y/N. Though Y/N wasn’t afraid, and she watched, rather amused by his outburst. One of the guards stabbed a needle into Jefferson’s arm, and as the sedatives began kicking in, he heaved one last chuckle, and spoke once more. This time, Y/N heard it loud and clear. The same sentence, repeated, over and over.

“Off with his head.”

#jefferson x reader #jefferson ouat #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #once upon a time #asylum #alternate universe #story #fanfic

[morethanonepage]

thoughts on Keanu Reeves Constantine?

y’know this is an interesting question bc i actually have a lot of….if not affection for the movie, at least respect for some of the adaptation choices made. Like the most common line in re: film!Constantine is that it’s a good movie but it’s not a good Hellblazer movie and in a sense that’s right, it’s not – but it’s interesting. A noble failure, definitely.

What I think it hinges on is that it’s an American setting so they went full blown American with it – which is a mistake in my mind bc the point of Hellblazer is that it’s a quintessentially English story, and that’s why every run with an American writer in the comics is meh for me – but in the sense of “American AU Constantine” I think there were some really interesting/clever choices made.

Like starting with their John – Keanu is all wrong for original brand Constantine. His John is broody, he’s brunet, he’s Good At Magic. And comics!John is the opposite of all those things. And while comics!John can be broody, the important thing is the comics themselves tend to undercut that – there’s a lot of kind of snarky takes about John being in a sulk for whatever reason, some of it even from John himself. You get very little of that in the movie, and the movie itself is very TAKE THIS MAN’S PAIN SERIOUSLY about it, so. BUT in a sense that loner self flagellating thing is an American Male Archetype the way comic John has a very English & self deprecating sense of humor, so: ok, I can kinda see it, more as a translation (to American audiences) than an adaptation. 

[READ MORE BC OMG WHY DID I CARE SO MUCH???]

They make John Catholic in the movie, which is another kind of interesting choice – in the comics he’s not anything specifically though I would imagine he would’ve been raised Church of England as likely as anything else. But they kind of commit to John’s Catholicism in the movie, most likely because it has more ~mysticism~ (and the association with exorcism in general) behind it. But it also kind of sets John up as An Other, because it’s the religion of a lot of the second class immigrants (like, the Irish initially, then Latinx Americans, etc). White Catholics have a bit of a different rep, but given that the film is set in LA in the late 20th century, for me it set up more of those associations than anything else. It’s also so much more about the SUFFERING and the MARTYRDOM and the REDEMPTION NARRATIVE, which is not so much a thing in the comics (where John often does/tries to do good things but usually NOT for the explicit purpose of ~cleansing his soul~, so it’s kind of notable/interesting that both American-based adaptations [TV and Movie] focus on that a lot more. It’s may also make more sense as an arc for the medium but y’know) but IS notably a big thing in the movie. 

And the thing about John, even in the comics, is that he’s an Other but Normal Passing – with comics he presents in a very Proper English Man (which is why it’s SO IMPORTANT for me that he starts off on his adventures with his shirt properly done up and his tie right, and then as the day/his bullshit unfurls he gets sloppier) way, he’s white, he’s blond, he’s handsome etc, but he’s also a bisexual mess/working class disaster mage with a progressive bent, and in the movie he’s kind of a traditional American anti hero but also has his own stuff going on. It’s not as well executed as it could be – there’s not a lot of subversion in the film version, which is kind of the point of John – but at least you get hints of his potential sexuality and they go into his mental health issues (suicide attempt, etc) and his smoking, etc. 

So John is an interesting translation – not perfect, but interesting. I would even argue that he’s the weakest point in the movie as a translation-not-adaptation (tho lol baby bear Chas Kramer is up there), bc he’s very basic supernatural protagonist with no flourish. Which is not the case for the rest of the film, which COMMITS to the genre it is and does it honestly very well.

For instance I love their conception of Ravenscar, the mental hospital John has A Bad History with – in the comics it’s got an old, spooky, mad house aesthetic from the 19th century, which fits the comics and John’s history and vibe really well. The movie version goes what I feel is a very modern American direction with it: one of the 20th century industrial monsters, a huge grey building, with the fear of mental health coming from that very specific post-war fear of anything ABNORMAL (including sexuality but y’know). 

The setting of LA is great – a couple of (American) comic writers have given John’s arcs there, probably for the irony of CITY OF ANGELS etc, but I think it’s a really interesting choice/contrast to everything London (where John’s mostly based in comics, tho he does sometimes roam the countryside fucking things up) represents: superficial, modern, bright days, beauty, opulence vs the grey gritty grunginess of John’s London life, etc. So for that to be movie!John’s homebase is kinda neat, frankly, esp because of the cases John gets to work on there. The set design is also great – very colorful, very willing to pull in the florescent glare of a modern city, with the Latinx Catholic touches on the streets (look the votive candles and shrines are SUCH an easy go to for ~creepy urban flavor~ and it’s probably at least a little problematic for this film featuring some other really questionable racial choices I will get to later, but) in general it LOOKS great. Their conception of hell is also fascinating and very well executed imo. 

I also think there’s ONE (1) thing I think the movie does better than the tv show: the setting is WAY more dug into the working class/legit poverty of LA behind the shiny surface Hollywood stuff. The show really only hit that point in the New Orleans ep and even then….didn’t fully commit to it, but it’s SUCH a key part of the comic universe. Like Chas himself (in the show) is pitch perfect but in the ep about his family they’re LIVING IN A BROOKLYN BROWNSTONE which, real talk, is worth millions of dollars. Literally millions. On a cab driver’s salary???? Ridic. Still mad about it w/e w/e. Baby Bear Chas Kramer with his shitty cab and probably shitty apartment, following John around like a stunned duckling, is way more comics canon accurate, probably. 

Rachel Weiz’s character has a lot of potential – they make her Catholic too, to have some sort of connection with John, which is eh, and they also make her a twin, whose sister kills herself at Ravenscar. Given how much John’s early backstory issue are focused around HIM being a twin (whose birth killed both his mother and his (theoretically stronger) brother) that could’ve been a cool thing to allude to, but they don’t touch on it. And Angela (ANOTHER ANGEL THING) is p cool as a character – she’s unconvinced about the ~spooky shit~ stuff until she sees evidence of it, and then believes it, as a normal average human likely would. She’s brave, she asks questions, etc. She’s not just Love Interest tho there’s a bit of that. And anyway I love Rachel Weiz generally, she’s great, could’ve had more to do though.

Tilda Swinton shows up a lot in the gifs and it was a cool choice to cast her as Gabriel – they play up the androgyny and make her less obvious of a dick than comics Gabriel is (though she ends up being…probably more of one, or at least more effective). I think their Lucifer is good too – oily and weird and creepily gentle at times. He also doesn’t get a lot to do, but he doesn’t need to – he doesn’t in the comics, usually, either. 

BUT the racial stuff – the supernatural macguffin that’s supposed to bring about the end of the world is found IN A MEXICAN DESERT and then SMUGGLED OVER THE BORDER to LA to bring about the end of the world, like, who wrote this, Donald J. Trump?? – is generally #bad. But this is something it shares with the show (GOD THOSE MEXICO EPS, I LEGIT ALMOST QUIT THE SHOW BC OF IT), tho at least they had an actual Mexican actress to temper that nonsense. NO SUCH LUCK from the movie – just lots of creepy zombish brown people trying to bring around an apocalypse, super cool.

And not only is meh as a metaphor, to impute such a conservative metaphor into a the Hellblazer Verse, with its infamous/classic DEMON YUPPIES FROM HELL and in general tips toward the progressive/pro immigrant ethos, is BAFFLING to me. I mean maybe more in tune with American sentiments about everything, which I have argued above is an interesting choice, but still, boooo.

Also the fact that John quits smoking at the end of the movie is such Hollywood garbage it almost outweighs the positives. I mostly imagine he and Angela date for like a month, he’s such a bitch when going through withdrawal that she dumps his ass, and then he goes back to smoking/sulking around LA doing bad exorcisms. That’s the real John Constantine, babey!!!

#oh god i scrolled up and saw much i wrote this is nonsense #more than you or anyone else should ever know about my feelings about constantine (2005) #constantine #hellblazer #waverly-earp

[themarginalthinker]

Mutualism

Mutualalism (n)  -  (1) A type of symbiosis; a symbiotic relationship wherein both organisms receive benefits from the other without either being harmed. 

For @trappedinapentagram  and their little au :>. Basically, everyone has their demons and dark sides. Some people's are just...more physically literal about it. You can read the actual fic this is based off of here! It’s so good!!

Sometimes it was easy to forget there were technically four people now living under the same roof. 

Jack had, for lack of any other real options, moved in with Mark. The landlord to his old apartment had apparently been worried when the Irishman up and disappeared for nearly two weeks, seeing neither heads nor tails of him until suddenly he was standing outside his own home in the middle of the night sporting a new leather coat that was, for someone living in this particular building block, far outside of even a luxury buy...and several new-looking scars in increasingly abnormal places. 

Well...in Jack's defense, it had been getting colder outside as autumn progressed...and it was hardly his fault that his mirror and his roommate's thought 'sex life' meant practically tearing each other to bloody shreds and saying it was all good because lube as sometimes involved. 

Anti had only grumbled the minimal details of the encounter later when asked how it went, and if he was in that pissy a mood when he returned, all of Jack's earthly possessions in tow jammed into the backseat of Mark's car, then the red-haired man could rest a little easier knowing there would be one less obituary in the papers tomorrow. 

In any case, Mark had...probably underestimated how simply big of a lifestyle change this new person - persons - would present to him and his own life-long companion's. 

For one thing...Mark had never lived with another. Well, alright, that wasn't technically true; he had Dark. And Dark was very much so his own person, as demonic and deranged as he was. (Not to mention the metaphysics of how he and Mark were the same being...together??) 

He loved Jack...he knew he did, and he also knew - with as much giggling, squealing schoolgirlishness as he held in their collective body - that Dark loved Anti. The shade loved Anti, and when Dark loved something, he wanted it at his beck and call. At his leisure, his pleasure, his whim and thought, whenever he wanted. He wanted to have it. And up until this point...he'd only ever had Mark. Sometimes, Mark teased about being flattered - that only he was good enough for the great, blackhearted Dark, and nothing or no-one else would ever manage to catch a shine on the old grouchy shade.

Usually, such comments went ignored, but when Dark was feeling particularly vindictive, he wasn't above turning Mark's own words against him. No...there would never be anyone else in his life, would there? That sniveling coward he let Mark attempt to form the shambles of a friendship with in the fifth grade....that one, single night with that sweet, unknowing, idiotic girl Dark taunted him with that Mark refused to allow the demon to dredge up more then the vaguest of memories of as they were all painted red anyways...

No. It would always just be him and Dark. A bottle of the good wine always at hand, a full box set of Whose Line Is It Anyway on the shelf - re-watched in a marathon once yearly - a dry-cleaner's emergency number for tailored suits and the best computers and game consoles money could buy. And, Mark supposed....they both really did like it that way. 

Except when Mark didn't. 

It was something the both of them quite quickly realized they might actually have in common. If both man and shade were alike in any way it was their sheer ability to dig their heels in so deep there was no budging on any issue they didn't want to move on. 

In the early days, Dark had been so young himself.  A nebulous concept of a being within Mark's mind that plagued his dreams and turned his waking thoughts into nightmares, As time went on, as time does, and the boy grew, so did his little daytime shadow. Mark never liked to think much about his teen years. Didn't bear remembering his parents' and brother's terrified faces the first time his eyes had changed color, and he was no longer their son, or sibling. How he'd made himself leave and never look back the day he turned eighteen. At least Dark had been complacent then, also wanting to get as far away from the 'stupidity and disgusting, pitiful nature' of other people. 

Mark just didn't want to see what might have happened should he have fought to stay. 

There was lots of things Dark was not above, if for no other reason then to prove a point. 

For all that though....Dark didn't seem far interested in living Mark's life for him though. After things...more or less settled down and Mark found a steady source of income, a place to stay that begrudgingly fit the shade's lofty standards enough, there would often just be long stretches - weeks even, sometimes - where Mark saw neither heads nor tails of Dark's involvement in his life. 

It raised suspicions sure enough at first. Mark knew Dark, as well as the demon knew him - they lived in each other's heads, after all - and there was no way the shade would just leave him to his own devices for no reason. He'd done nothing to 'earn' such a reprieve from his worser half, at least, not that he knew of. He wasn't blacking out randomly and waking with blood under his nails, or possibly illegal substances scattered throughout the house; no-one ever came knocking on his door, person, shade or otherwise wanting settle some score... Still, despite his paranoia, the shade insisted that as long as it was just the two of them, he was perfectly capable of letting Mark handle most affairs and dealings with members of his own species himself. The shade just didn't want to waste his oh so precious time with things and people who just didn't matter. 

Needless to say, Chica was always going to be a heel-digging issue.

In Mark's defense, Dark really ought to have known better then to let Mark just have all that freedom. Wasn't good for a person to live so out of control he might go out in actual public, donate to tons of charities, 

adopt a dog to escape the crushing loneliness so willy nilly.

It had almost been as bad a fight as the first few times Dark had taken over their body physically, all those years ago. Mark had left the house with a little more pep in his step then usual, but the man was prone to odd bouts of optimism every now and again. He'd then proceeded to drive to a part of town neither of them had ever been more then perhaps once on some odd errand - Mark could feel the phantom vestigial feelings of Dark's interest in what exactly he was up to forming at the edges of his mind, but the shade said nothing, so Mark did the same. 

It wasn't until pulling up to the shelter and almost getting out to walk in did Dark throw his, what Mark calls to this day, aggravated hissy fit. 

Luckily Mark'd had the foresight to plan this endeavor on a quiet day when there wouldn't be many people around to witness a strange man thrashing around in his car in the middle of a near-empty pet shelter parking lot screaming half sentences and all manner of foul expletives at..himself. 

It wouldn't be the first time 'Mark' would have had the police called on him.  At the end of the day though, Dark was sitting pretty in the back of their mind brooding and fuming all he wanted with a brutally bruised ego....but saying nothing while Mark enjoyed some of the first real happiness he'd had in a long, long time while playing fetch with his dog. His good pup.

Funny, that. Mark knew, very well, how Dark treated things he didn't like, or that he predicted would mess up the life they...he...had carefully constructed. Mark enjoyed his evening with his new pet, but to be brutally honest, he was expecting to find a bloody, mangled corpse of the animal in their trashcans out front the next morning. 

Not to be woken earlier then usual for walkies by an enthusiastic lick to the hand and a cold wet nose in his face. 

So now, Mark wondered idly, watching as Jack sorted through all his clothes and made room for them in the small dresser set up in their room (trying as he might to quash the wonderful growing glow of really being able to call a room 'theirs' at all) if perhaps...this was just the latest in a painfully short series of allowances Dark had made in life. Or not. Dark was the one to first notice, however it was in that weird, inexplicable way shades could sense each other even dormant, that Anti was hidden below Jack's skin, and call him forward. So, technically, this wouldn't be Dark giving ground on an issue, this would just be him getting what he wanted all along anyway? But, it wasn't just Anti he was getting, it was Jack as well...and even if it somehow was just the purple shade, Mark's daily life would be affected by him as well and oh, did Dark so hate when things weren't Just So...

"Noodlin' pretty hard there, aren't 'cha. Or have my socks just committed great dishonor upon your family?" The man in question pipes up from beside him suddenly, and Mark jerks a little as he looks over to see Jack's almost-comically bushy brows twitch upwards. 

Mark smiles as he processes the comment and tosses the neatly rolled pair of socks into the assigned drawer, shrugging off his no-doubt troubled face, "Eh. We all know that footwearkind can't be trusted. They'd have us all kissing their feet for a change if we let them." 

"Indeed. Two-facec bastards, the lot of them," Jack agreed, nodding along to the ridiculous nature of their conversation before going back to the unopened boxes beside their bed. "So, I think most of the rest of this stuff can just go in the attic until further notice, yea? No use cluttering up the guest room" (that Mark just used as extra storage space anyways because hell, who the fuck would he have ever had over as a guest?) "or any other part of the house."

Mark just shrugged again and made to get up to help...but it had been a long day reorganizing space to somehow do what he'd only dreamed of doing one day, fitting another person into his life...and the carpet was soft...and Jack was a strong, independent guy who didn't need no man..

"You are so lazy," sneered an inaudible voice in his ears. 

"Oh, and you're helping do what here, exactly?" Mark snipped back, watching Jack leave the room...hate to see 'em go, but love to watch 'em leave... "You just have too many nic-naks. How did a guy who barely left his apartment in five years even collect so much stuff?" 

Jack's reply is yelled back from somewhere down the hall, "There is such a thing as the wide, wide world of the Interwebs, my friend. Good for cat videos, warningless seizure-inducing gifsets, people with Opinions, and fandom." 

"That's just Tumbr," Mark hummed, beginning to wonder if he should worry about how much time his roommate really did spend on the internet. Their collective console rig had just gotten twice as frightening to look at as it was, the terrible god of the living room now...

Mark received answer for neither conversation partners, though he could practically feel the want to eyeroll Dark left in the back of his head, and finally decided that the floor was for squares and began running possible dinner options through his head. Wow, he'd have to cook for two more people now...unless Jack could cook really well (because as much as the thought of letting any shade near open flame was scary, he at least knew Dark had every reason not to let the house burn down - neither of them were ready to give Anti the benefit of the doubt yet. If ever.) And they'd have to adjust their grocery lists to accommodate two new people..he wondered what all of Jack's little habits were like. Two weeks was so little time to really get to know someone -what did he like to watch on tv? His favorite games, his hopes and dreams-

"You're going to make me physically ill, and considering I don't have a body I'd say that's pretty bad." 

"You love it. I know you do. I know you," Mark simply said, every sound in the house now not made by him or Chica reminding his that, despite all the bloodshed and fear and lightswitch-flicker on-off-on-off of consciousness he'd had lately thanks to the shade's antics, this was really turning a new page. A whole new chapter in his - their - life. 

"...yes. I suppose I do." 

#my writing #youtubers #jacksepticeye #antisepticeye #/markiplier #darkiplier #danti #antidark #fluff #really this is just a lot of what I do best - long winded introspection

[btsfanficss]

Stay Professional! Pt. 11

Work AU! Fluff, Angst and smut: Jungkook x Reader

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 (12 has arrived! )

Summary: Jungkook desperately tries to fix his mistakes. Whether it be through his irresistibly sweet speeches or something a little more, you were bound to fall under his spell again. 

A/N: Yes I am back! Did y’all miss me? 😘 I honestly think the mothers are the best characters ever tbh (ultimate wingwoman goals). Sorry I didn’t update for so long- I had my Semester 1 exams :) As always, feedback is appreciated! 

Jungkook knew that there was nothing he could do. So why did it feel like he was waiting for a miracle to occur? He rhythmically tapped on the dark mahogany table with his slender finger, tension built up to his shoulders. He felt as though he was going to snap at any given moment. And he hated the feeling. He couldn’t stand the nausea that bestowed upon him when he thought about you. At least he knew he fucked up this time.

“Jungkook, may I come in?” A familiar voice interrupted his toxic thoughts. He quickly glanced in the direction of the elegant voice and a small smile of relief spread across his lips.

“Of course mother.” He gave her a nod of affirmation before standing up to greet her properly.

“You’re probably wondering what brings me here.” She smiled warmly at him and closed the door behind her before seating herself across Jungkook’s table.

“Sit, son. We have some talking to do.” She spoke in a gentle tone- but Jungkook was beyond intimidated. He felt like he was 4 years old again, getting lectured and scolded. But this time it was worse because it wasn’t Jimin lecturing him, it was Jungkook’s actual mother- whom before had no time to do that.

He gulped noticeably loud before looking behind his mother’s shoulder and he avoided her gaze completely.

“Is it possible for us to do this tomorrow? I’m really not feeling good today.” He confessed and his mother raised an eyebrow.

“Did you think I was here to lecture you?”

There was a small pause that intensified Jungkook’s childish fear. Despite being a grown man, Jungkook didn’t deal with authorities well because it was abnormal to have people of higher status than him.

“You’re not wrong my darling but that’s not my main intention. I’m here as a mother today. How about we sort things out together?” She suggested in a sweetened voice and gently placed her hand on top of Jungkook’s and his trembling stopped.

“As you may also be aware, I wasn’t very happy when I found out that Y/N left the company. I assumed it was because of you- you do have a reputation for firing assistants quite regularly so I wasn’t surprised. But she had so much potential and she brought out the best in you so I was generally upset when you fired her. Not to mention, you looked so much happier with her around.”

“For one, I didn’t fire her. She left because Jimin offered her a job at his company. He told her that she was a burden to me and so she left.”

“Then why did you tell me that you fired her?” His mother sounded genuinely confused. And before Jungkook could reply, she answered for him with sparkling eyes.

“You were trying to protect her image.” Her voice squeaked in relief.

“Oh thank god!” She placed her hand over her thumping chest and a smile stretched across her relieved face.

“This whole time I was worried because I thought my son turned into a maniacal and heartless business man! Thank goodness you have some sort of consideration for others.” She fanned her face and sighed in relief.

“You can’t be serious, mother.” Jungkook chuckled and his mother laughed.

“Oh honey I am. Before Y/N you were so.. artificial. Sometimes I felt regretful because I thought I changed you for the worse. My son, you are still very young; I know the pressure I’m putting on you and though keeping a cool head and being detached from your emotions when doing business is an advantage.. you’re my only child and I can’t afford to let greed consume you.” She confessed and Jungkook suddenly softened his gaze as his mother gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

Jungkook’s adorable smile warmed her heart instantly and she felt obligated to continue.

“I think I know my son well enough to say that you’re head over heels for that girl. What are you waiting for? Get her back. Don’t tell me I raised a loser, now did I?” She quirked an eyebrow and the original smirk that Jungkook inherited spread across her features.

Jungkook let out a hearty laugh and craned his neck back to hit the cushion of his leather seat. “So you approve of her?”

“Darling, it’s not a matter of my approval at this point because even if I said no, I highly doubt you’re going to get over her before my whole company burns down because your shitty reports.” She giggled and Jungkook cringed at the truthfulness in her savagery.

“I’m glad we had this talk. At least now I know my son isn’t a complete asshole. I expect to see you in top notch condition soon- invite her over while you can. I don’t know how long this 'approval’ will last.” She answered in a cheerful tone and quickly walked off after checking the time on her phone.

“Good luck Jungkook! Not only for the sake of you but for the sake of my company, get her back please. For the love of God child, this better fix your recent concentration issue.” Her voice diminished as she strutted further down the long hall outside of Jungkook’s office. And for the first time since the incident, he felt as though he could take on the world again.

You squinted your eyes in confusion, brows furrowed into a deep ‘V’ shape as you tried to make out the unrecognisable figure that sat comfortable on the jet-black motorbike. The person was wearing black from head to toe, his jacket that had extra padding made him appear even more buff and the tinted helmet successfully hid his identity. He took off his shiny leather gloves to unclasp the buckle of his motorbike helmet. And within a couple of seconds, he managed to pull off the tight helmet. You could hardly believe your eyes.

There sat Jungkook, looking ridiculously irresistible on his black motorbike that was shined to perfection as it reflected sunlight into your eyes. Jungkook shook his head to get his fringe out of his eyes. His noir locks bounced back in place and he fixed his fringe before casually striding up next to you with the familiar bunny smile you were so obsessed with. His ‘bad-boy’ demeanour certainly didn’t fit that childish smile. He presented two clashing charms.. and maybe that’s what made him even more charming.

“Hey.” He smiled and scanned your expression in an attempt to read your thoughts. You could only raise an eyebrow in response to his sudden and very random appearance.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, breath hitched as you couldn’t believe your sight. Jungkook looked so divine in his all black motorbike attire, but nothing could match up to his charming smirks and smiles you’d missed so much but was too afraid to admit.

“I’m here to see you.” His smile dropped and he suddenly looked very serious. It felt so wrong to think that he looked so deadly handsome in that black leather jacket. It wasn’t the time to fawn over his beauty, it was time to act logically.

“Jungkook.. I told you I need time to think.” You sighed, a little frustrated at his persistence but at the same time, a little relieved because it showed you that he was desperate and that he really did care.

“I know I know.. you don’t have to give me an answer now but I just.. wanted to see you.” He said with an undeniably handsome smirk smeared across his lips.

“We both know you don’t have time for that.”

“But I’m making time for it-.”

“Don’t you have somewhere you need to be?” You crossed your arms in defence and shifted your weight to one leg, some sassy body language that Jungkook found adorable.

“You’re right... maybe I shouldn’t have ran away.” He chuckled lightly, as though what he’d just done wasn’t a big deal.

“What? Are you crazy?! Did you really come all the way here without telling anyone?” Your jaw dropped in disbelief.

“I thought you’d find it romantic.” He smirked again and you could feel an annoying blush creep up your face.

“Jungkook that’s so stupid! You know what you’re doing right now is completely careless and irresponsible! This is going to be your company--”

“--but you’re my future, Y/N.” He cut you off with a deep voice and took a step closer to you. He touched his forehead with yours and you felt the butterflies go haywire inside your stomach from him being stood so close. Jungkook intertwined his fingers with yours and pressed a soft kiss onto the back of your hand.

Fuck, why did that always seem to work? You couldn’t help but roll your eyes- not because he was being cheesy, but because you knew that you loved every second of it.

No words could come out of your mouth so you just continued to stare blankly at him. Jungkook felt so relieved that you didn’t push him away and so a warm smile emerged from the bottom of his heart.

“Am I.. interrupting something?” Your mother’s voice called out from behind and you immediately shook your hand away from his, an evident blush of crimson on your cheeks.

“Ye- I mean no. No, mum it’s alright. We’re not doing anything.” You stuttered uncontrollably as you could feel Jungkook sneak up closer from behind. Did he have no concept of personal space?

“That’s a little suspicious.” She laughed and made eye-contact with Jungkook behind your shoulder. “And who might this handsome bloke be?”

Jungkook happily walked over to your mother and bowed his head in respect before charming his way through another life-situation. It always seemed to work for him. But you weren’t surprised since he had such a face..

“I’m Jeon Jungkook, ma’am. I’m very delighted to meet you.” He raised his head to meet her eyes with a gentle smile.

“O-Oh..” Your mother’s eyes widened in shock. “I’ve heard lots about you, dear.” She covered her mouth and giggled.

“That’s not very good.” Jungkook laughed and ruffled the hair on the back of his head, which was something he often did only when he was nervous.

“I’ve made some pretty terrible mistakes but.. I’m changing. I’m willing to change if it means that I can make Y/N happy.” He said through a gummy smile and your mother seemed a little speechless.

All she’s heard from you was all the negatives. You’d told her that Jungkook was a merciless and careless business man with no real heart but the man that stood in-front of her was someone completely different. You once never mentioned to her about Jungkook’s chivalry or professionalism. Or once never mentioned the fact that he was bloody gorgeous.

“That’s.. lovely.. it’s getting cold outside. Let’s warm ourselves up with some tea, shall we?” Your mother suggested and you immediately spoke up in objection.

“No mum. He needs to get back to his company asap. If his mother found out that he’s here I’m going to get a death sentence- I can’t afford to ruin my life even more.”

“I rode all the way here. You can’t expect me to just leave right now. It took me 4 and a half hours to ride here Y/N.” Jungkook defended himself in a desperate attempt to gain your sympathy.

You grumbled in frustration and stormed inside, a little defeated that you were going to have to talk to him. Your mother led him into your small house in which you grew up in and Jungkook’s happiness radiated from him at the sight of your baby pictures he eyed when he arrived in the living room.

“Please, make yourself at home.” Your mother insisted and Jungkook didn’t even sit down, he went straight for your neatly framed child-hood photographs.

You were too grumpy to notice the heart-eyes Jungkook had looking at your baby photos. His heart had never felt so touched before.

“Oh my god you were adorable.” He chuckled lightly before picking up another frame to analyse. “I can’t say much has changed.” He looked over his shoulder to see you sat comfortably on the sofa, legs and arms crossed.

“Oh please Jungkook. A couple of smooth words isn’t going to fix this mess.” You turned your head the other way so your inner-thoughts would stop complimenting how good he looked.

“I realise.” He sat down next to you and twiddled his thumbs around each other. What an unusual habit. You’d never noticed his cute little habits when he got nervous because it was very rare for someone like Jungkook to lose his composure. But that certainly wasn’t the case when he was around you.  

Your mother sat directly across from Jungkook and stirred her freshly brewed tea. You could practically sense the fear, judging from Jungkook’s fastened thumb twiddling. 

“So tell me dear, why should I trust you with my daughter.” Your mother got straight to the point and Jungkook gulped in response. 

“Because..” He planned out a million different ways to respond inside his head but nothing seemed to come out of his mouth. 

“I love her.” He said blankly. It was the only thing that seemed to slip out- his nerves were getting the worse of him and you didn’t know what to think of the situation. 

“How are you so sure?” She asked and calmly sipped on the warm tea. 

“I..I’ve never felt so sure in my life. I’ve never felt like this for anyone. I didn’t want to admit that I had feelings for her at the start because.. I didn’t know if someone like me was capable of being genuine..” Jungkook found it nearly impossible to peel his gaze off of his now semi-warm cup of tea. 

“I.. Before Y/N, I felt completely detached from the world. Everything felt very grey... cold and colourless.” Jungkook finally looked at your mother straight in the eyes and she could tell that he wasn’t lying about his feelings.

“Then what do you plan to do next?” 

“I plan on making it clear to Y/N that I am sincere about my feelings. I know I’ve made many terrible mistakes but I’m determined to persuade her that I’m serious about her. I’m willing to do anything that’ll get her to change her mind about me.” He looked over to you with a desperate gaze and you looked away immediately, unable to handle his convincing voice. 

You just squeezed yourself tighter and your mother could tell that his smooth-talk seemed to be working. But it shouldn’t, especially not after how he broke your trust. 

“Shouldn’t you be back in the office with Yujung or whatever her name was?” You sounded terribly petty but you didn’t seem to care. And neither did your mother.

“I fired her.” He interrupted before you could continue to give him shit. 

You just rolled your eyes in response but deep down you were so very relieved of that. “I’m very sorry.. I wasn’t thinking straight and I know I hurt you- it wasn’t intentional I promise.” Jungkook shuffled closer but you inched further away from him and he let out a sigh of defeat. 

There was a heavy silence that added extra tormenting weight onto Jungkook’s already heavy shoulders. Your mother just continued to drink her tea and you hadn’t even touched yours, similar to Jungkook’s situation. He slowly stood up from the sofa and lowered his head greatly to your mother. 

“Thank you for giving me a chance to express myself.” He lifted himself up from the deep bow and sighed again upon the sign of you, curled up into a ball; still evidently annoyed with him. “It was lovely seeing you again, Y/N.” He smiled weakly and placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head before he ruffled your hair affectionately. You could only pretend to not care but obviously your body couldn’t hide the glowing ecstatic feelings within.  

“Leaving so soon?” Your mother suddenly asked in a bold voice. His ears perked up at the unexpected question. 

“Yes ma’am. I was only briefly visiting to cure my sanity for a little while.” He admitted selfishly and your mother seemed to appreciate that. 

“It’s already getting dark. It’d be terribly rude of us to just let you leave at this time, especially since it’s four and a half hours ride from here.” She placed her tea cup down and analysed your reaction to her surprising words. 

“I suggest you stay over and leave in the morning.” She smiled and your mouth dropped open at her bewildering suggestion. She could see both of your facial expressions change in confusion. 

“Pardon?” Was all Jungkook could ask as a happy smile seemed to peak through from just the thought of spending the night under the same roof as you. 

“I’m just saying.. I don’t want to be responsible for your safety, dear. From the things that I’ve heard from my daughter, you seem to be a very important person so- I don’t plan on taking any risks regarding your safety.” She admitted and the amusement in her voice continued to grow. 

“Mum he’s a grown man. He can handle himself just fine. It’d be worse if he stayed here because the entire company’s probably already freaking out.” 

“I’m sure Jungkook is aware of that. But I still think he should stay the night. What do you think, Jungkook?” Your mother eyed him curiously and his smile radiated joy. 

“I.. You’re right. I suppose it is getting too dark. But I can only stay if Y/N agrees to let me.” He looked over to you and you sank deeper into the warm couch. You pretended to groan in frustration and stormed out of the living room quickly before anyone could catch a glimpse of relief on your face. You’d secretly wished for him to stay a little longer. 

“She didn’t exactly say no.” Your mother pat his shoulder kindly before cleaning up the cups of full tea that’d turned cold. 

You’d come back from a brisk walk that cleared your mind. Jungkook’s charms were seriously effective and you’d decided to keep your distance from him even though he’d be sleeping under your roof for that night. You carelessly kicked off your shoes and placed the plastic bag that had some groceries from your small walk onto the cold wooden floor. You picked them up, opened the fridge and placed the eggs and milk in their usual places whilst humming a happy tune to yourself. 

You strolled over and opened your bedroom door and your humming came to a sudden stop. 

There stood Jungkook, both of you frozen at the sudden appearance of each other. Except you were more shocked because he was shirtless. Jungkook had a white towel carelessly wrapped around his waist and another towel over his head. You traced your eyes over his impressive chest and soon had heart eyes for his defined abs. Jungkook was completely frozen in place, his biceps evident from the way he used the towel to dry his wet hair. You brought your eyes back up to meet Jungkook’s and by that time, your face turned completely red. His pink lips were parted ever so slightly and his eyes widened in astonishment. 

Heaven had blessed your eyes and your heart thumped violently within your chest. You quickly slammed the bedroom door before neither one of you could say anything. “I’m sorry!” You instinctively yelled out and buried your hot face into your now clammy palms. Jesus you did not expect that. 

After a couple seconds of quick shuffling, there was a sound of quick footsteps on your wooden floor and then suddenly, a strong aroma had hit you. Jungkook had opened the door and he was slightly out of breath from rushing to get dressed. You could tell he looked a little tired from the way his chest would rise and fall quickly when he let out breathy apologies. 

“I didn’t know I left the door open.” He chuckled and you could feel his minty fresh breath against your flushed face. You swore to yourself that you wouldn’t be shaken up by his charms but that was impossible when he looked so handsome and smelt absolutely divine. You didn’t know your shampoo could even smell that good. Or perhaps, that was just Jungkook’s natural scent. 

“I’m sorry. I promise it was an accident. I’m not planning anything.” He panicked a little because you were being so quiet. You just wanted to shut him up because his voice sounded alluring enough, not to mention his scent. He was wearing the same clothes for before and it smelt of his usual, expensive cologne. 

“It’s fine. Sorry I should’ve knocked.” You blabbered and tried to calm down your ridiculously fast paced heart. You felt as though you could happily drown yourself in his scent. 

“Don’t apologise, it’s your bedroom. It doesn’t make sense for you to knock.” Jungkook leaned onto your door frame and you looked up at him to see him smile a little. His confidence had grown suddenly as he stood very tall over your small frame. 

“You’re right. Can you please leave for a moment. I need to get changed.” You coughed and Jungkook let you through. “Can I watch?” He said playfully and you slammed the door at him in response. You heard him chuckle through the door and your heart softened slightly from his childish comment. 

It was well past 10 o’ clock and you were convinced that Jungkook was already fast asleep on the floor-mattress just a couple of metres from your bed. You asked him to sleep on your bed instead of the mattress but he refused to do so, so there you were; warmly wrapped up in blankets yet your mind refused to let you fall asleep. 

All you could hear in the quiet room was the sound of Jungkook’s soft and even breathing that sounded tranquil to the ears mixed with the consistent muted sound of the clock ticking from outside the room. You let out a small sigh and felt a little frustrated that you were unable to fall asleep. You’d been trying to rest for the past hour but nothing seemed to work. Perhaps it was the fact that Jeon Jungkook was right next to you that you couldn’t relax. 

You rolled over for what felt like the 100th time and closed your eyes in another attempt to fall asleep. After some more time and a couple more shuffles on the bed, your brain was starting to feel too tired to stay awake. Finally, your eyelids started to feel a little heavy. 

You closed your lids and your mind started to drift in and out of consciousness. You heard a muted shuffle and suddenly, you felt a body stealthily slide under your blanket. Jungkook casually put the blanket over the both of you and inched closer to you as he cuddled you closely from behind. He proved that indeed 2 people could fit snugly on a single sized bed. The realisation set in and you were wide-awake at the point but you pretended to be fast asleep. You didn’t want to admit that you wanted him to stay close to you. 

Jungkook’s body felt warm. He was the big spoon and had his warm chest pressed up against your back. Jungkook’s rested his head on your shoulder and you could feel his warm breath gently tickle your exposed neck. You mumbled softly at the comforting sensation and Jungkook could feel a chuckle bubble up inside of him. You then turned around slowly so you were directly facing him. You curled up closer into his chest and the scent of your hair seemed to push Jungkook’s buttons. 

You could hear the rhythmic beat of Jungkook’s heart and you were practically screaming at yourself inside for how wrong this was but how right it felt dominated that. Jungkook shifted his arms slowly so that one arm casually pulled the two bodies closer and this action encouraged you to gently grip on his black cotton fabric of his t-shirt. He found that absolutely adorable and ran his hand through your hair, comforting you in a way that was beyond ineffable.

You simply inched closer to his him until your forehead was touching his toned chest. He continued to comb his fingers through your soft and sweet scented hair that drove him to the brink of insanity. But to be fair, his natural scent was the same for you- god he smelt like absolute heaven. Jungkook’s cheeks were getting tired from smiling since you’d cuddled up to him and he couldn’t refrain from kissing you. 

He placed multiple delicate kisses on your head and forehead as he drew random patterns onto your back. Jungkook couldn’t describe in words how content he felt to have you in his arms once again. He felt as though he was taking advantage of your unconscious state but what he didn’t know was that you were awake the whole time. And you loved it equally as much as he did. 

All you had to do now was, admit it. 

Long awaited Part 12 is here!

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[muggycuphead]

TH!FPA_VB – Lord of Lies and Deceiving

Yo, been a while since I posted something on this account, but here we are, back at it again with a casual VB drawing like in good ol’ 2020

…Though, this time things got built on a different road of events as you can see, not to mention this is a spoiler to what’s to come for VB (but tbh I stopped caring at this point so yea)

First and for most however, there are quite a few questions surrounding this fic’s development I have to answer for our sake (mostly mine since I feel like mold spaghetti for not keeping up on things oml-)

Yes, I once said VB was on the way of getting completed and all that, I know

Problem is, the changes I want to do to the ‘lore’ (if you want to call it that way idk) are also retroactive to the events in the present timeline (aka past events that are mentioned but not entirely shown because ugh-), some characters that have some relevancy on the story but only come up at the very end chapters on VB itself, etc. etc. which are things that I personally find bothersome as its writer and the reason why I’d rather not make the ‘sequel-prequel’ of it where things get explained and all that

Instead, I’ll fuse both VB and TAF (the sequel-prequel’s name acronym standing for ‘The ‘ANOMALY’ files’ fyi) so it can focus on one party alone and I don’t waste any more time than what I already have done so (haha funny cuz me late to party amiriteeeimsorry-)

…And about the format for it, I’ve decided I’ll ‘upgrade’ it to a comic instead since y’know, I do art and it’ll also make my writing simpler so yea

Still tho, I’m kinda paranoic on if I should get going with the prologue by the time I finish its script or not since I don’t wanna make the plot a mess or leave things (important* things) unfolded by accident, but we’ll see how it goes (and hopefully I’ll make it out alive-)

Also, keep in mind that by the moment I’m writing this, I’m stuck in the Friday Night Fuc- I mean Funkin’ fandom, and y’all know what happens when the fandom switching happens…

My concept-creation-obssessive-self starts grinding gears like cuckoo -doesn’t mean I’ll abandon everyone else tho, it’s just that my focus splits on multiple parts and all that balloney

So, now that I did my little defense statement up there, let’s get rolling to the mainpoint down here

First, who’s this spider guy?

Well, he’s a ‘side’ antagonist, more specifically the person DPM is after (but doesn’t realize he is until very later)

His name is Q-Ross Sid, a ‘camel spider’ that lives in the Spider Kingdom as the royal executioner and prison head-guard/-caretaker

He’s what I’d consider to be an ‘anomaly’, since he’s a genetic fusion of graphite (20%), chalk (10%) and correcting fluid (70%), with the graphite being his ‘stabilizer’ component (osseous structure and skin/muscular tissue mostly) and the chalk his ‘cooler’ component (mostly on his defense and assimilation mechanism), not to mention he can only consume either correcting fluid matter derivatives…and/or ink matter derivatives, including living beings (mostly as an energy source and which his body somehow can partially convert into graphite)

…And by that fact alone you can tell that yes, he killed Isea -also known as Dizzy/Izzy Pants Girl (YESss I fINALLY GAVE HER A NICK ASDFGH-) in VB mostly due to her ‘special ability’ and stuff- by Queen Aris’ command. And yes, he can shapeshift, which explains why he got DPM to blame FPM for what happened, this that (but I think you might have figure it out already by the drawing alone so yea-)

However, although at first I thought his ability would be limited to mimick FPM’s appearance only, I now decided to amplify it a little, and instead he can shapeshift into any sketch/graphite-alike/related being, with FPM being his ‘link’ to them most of the time (stalkey tatics are not okey dokey my man but you do you I guess)

Though he can only shapeshift into stickfigs since he doesn’t have that much of ‘color filling’ for a human drawing itself (yeah ik they’re humanized in the story but things will make sense sooner or later I promise, for now just bear with me as we go on on this plz), and he cannot shapeshift into ink/liquid-alike/related beings because they’re not compatible and it’ll only lead him to corrupt his physical form –not meaning he can’t recover from it tho

But he can’t replicate them entirely, as his eyes and the ring are the two main red flags to spot him (but with some contact lenses and a little pocket, it can be fixed y’know-)

As for his robotic arm, it was after a fight that I’ll rather not explain due to not being that relevant; and even thought doctors refused to give him a prosthesis at first since he could simply let it rebuild naturally (yes he can regen too, but in a slower phase bc reasons), he got it anyways due to the fact limbs regen take way longer than physic injuries and/or internal damage (some even assumed that they probably wouldn’t actually regen anyway), which can be a bother on his job most of the time…and maybe out of spite too –he wanna look tough, yo-

Fun fact, during the hype I got from making this bad boi, I ended up attaching him to grandson’s song called ‘Blood/Water’ due to the lyrics kinda resembling his defamatory actions towards FPM (and also his wild and sometimes desperate hunger towards ink beings, yikes)

Second, what’s VB’s main plotline now and why did I expand it?

To resume it in the ‘signature phrase’ I made for the new version (which was also inspired on MARETU’s ‘Magical Doctor’ song –mandoilovethisvocaloidsongcomposerasdfgh)

**THIS WASN’T MEANT TO HAPPEN**

Venomous Bittersweet (which I’ll rename in the future due to the fusion with TAF) started off with a simple plot -FPM going on a mission for himself to get cured from a spider bite he got all of a sudden, but failing in the process (bc plot convenience idk) and CPG is the one who goes to his rescue instead while showing off the things she learned from him, this that, wholesome ending blah blah blah- you know the drill if you read it to end.

But by the moment I began making those little ‘inside stories’ –specially DPM’s backstory explaining why he became so reckless and outgoing- I started to extent myself on how things worked on this AU, even how drawings come to life (ik it’s weird but that’s how I though it to be so ff-), and by such I felt the urge to give almost everything a background story, such as Aris’ reason to kidnap and take control over FPM’s body and mind (and maybe his soul too oops-), the Spider Kingdom’s origin and even the portals and ‘reality deterioration’ in SFPA, passing by DPM’s origins and stuff.

And even if I felt like hitting walls and taking things a little too in-depth most times, I think it did bring some good things for the new plotline I’m going for now

So, in the new story, all the weird, whacky (and disturbing) things that happen after SFPA and during OG VB plotline came by what I’d express as some sort of ‘time-space anomaly’ that made everything slightly unstable on the ‘other side’ of the studio (I won’t explain too much my brain is about to boil rn so take that as you will for now tysm), having a passive (but not unnoticeable) effect on the sketchbooks.

I can’t give much context why, how or where did the anomaly came to be exactly (you can make theories if you like, I’d love to read them 4real <3), but it’s main purpose is to take control over all existing worlds just to corrupt them to its will, to the point there is basically nothing left but despair and desolation to which all entities will be forced to endure and all that edgy jazz.

…And by that, the ‘anomaly’ will create incompatible matter amalgams –ink and graphite being the most coming-to-mind example in the story so far- in order to conquer all the sketchbooks, but as a consequence of this ‘anomaly’s’ arise, new worlds came to be fully developed (in other words, they finally exist as a whole), and with that, new ‘heroes’ are brought into the situation, each representing a type of artistic material alone –watercolor, oil paint, etc-, heroes with which FPM will encounter and interact with, as he’ll also help them in how to use their abilities to fight the baddies and stuff.

And because we need conflict to make things interesting, Q-Ross and DPM indirectly (but kinda) ‘team up’ to fabricate fake evidence and such in order to mess with FPM’s reputation towards the heroes by incriminating him and/or even mislead his actions (confusing wrong by right and vice versa, etc.) (because ink man is salty and corrector ass is a dick by nature –ofc), and even ocassionally with Q-Ross starting the job, just to get DPM to finish it; and sometimes they get the aforesaid characters to hold grudges –if it comes to succeed, or instead making them get more on his side by the same feeling of doubt –if they mess up on something, no matter the size.

As about his sickness, well, it also got a little twist.

We know that new worlds and material compositions come with new squiggle types, and even if ‘dust-related’ types don’t affect him for too long –chalk being the closest example I can bring up-, liquid or clayish matters, such as oil and crayon squiggles respectively, are toxic towards him, so in the way the more he interacts with incompatible squiggles, the more harmed his health condition gets, to the point it grips into the weakest part of his body –his core (I’ll later explain this just…let me get this out first plz), which limits him on doing most things he’s used to do normally.

…And well, the spider bite (which is also an abnormal matter amalgam times two, though I’ll keep it secret for now) was the last nail in the coffin on fucking him up entirely to a new level of corruption (damn is that a stretch I’m seeing-)

Long story short, this was also because I wanted ArPM to have a backstory that’s more than just ‘I’m evil nao bc me get poisond and mindcontrold by spoders out of spite hahahaha-’

Third (and lastly), who’s Ahetzo exactly and what’s his main purpose on the story?

This is a short one

In case you didn’t see my tweet on my Twitter account (here a linkie), this is a side character I made that’s supposed to be some kind of ‘spirit’ or something alike who’s the one in charge of the studio while ya dev boi is gone

In other words, he’s basically like Brad’s subconscious self (IK YIKES- YOU CAN HIT ME WITH THE CHAIR NOW I WON’T MIND-)

…and even though he tried to keep the anomaly thing contained as long as he could while figuring out how to disarm it or at least neutralize it (yes it was there way before, like during fpaw3 events or before so because AU logic lol), the more he tried to condense it, the more it multiplied itself until, well, y’know, shit blew up and everything just sdfghjk’d

And yes, he was the one who released the new worlds to keep the crazy stuff at range, this that

Oml my brain-

And before I finish here, I’d like to make a little ‘self-critic’ regarding my artwork here…and I gotta say, I’m really proud of it on most parts

As I began to retake on digital art lately –mostly due to my slight entering onto the FNF/partially NG communities and other things, I’ve been testing out new techniques and stuffs on GIMP 2 with the ‘routes’ tool and all that (that’s also why it looks almost symmetrical, but don’t fool urself it did took its time-), I even corrected some of the lines to make them sharp and fancy (haha funi joek im so quirkee-)

In here, I wanted to try mixing both solid and blurry shadows as well as replicating a ‘crystalish’ effect –as seen on Q-Ross’ eyes- and some line effects with the ink tool such as the liquid dripping out of Q’s mouth (yes that correcting fluid saliva now stfu-) and the graphite/correctfluid webs coming out of his clawtips/fingertips

And though I haven’t made an official palette for him, I think the colors I picked here suit him well enough in my own idea of such

Overall, I had fun making this, and I love how it came out

Still though, any criticism, opinion and commentary is welcome, both about my art piece and my little showcase over here

That’s all I got for now, see you all later on

K bai-

#The Fancy Pants Adventures franchise (C) belongs to Brad Borne (DrNeroCF) on NewGrounds #FPAVB + Q-Ross Sid| Artwork (C) belong to me