#WAS GWEN IN HER WORLD ALWAYS GOING TO BE A TRAGEDY???????

[spider-chris06]

Do you know why Spider-Verse Miles is my favorite Spider-Man?

He, without having a choice, had to do in two days, what took all the other Spider-Sonas in the multiverse weeks, become Spider-Man, all under the unimaginable pressure of being the successor to the previous Spider-Man of his universe, which left the bar too high, having to meet everyone else's expectations, and having to go through a tortuous journey while learning from his mentor.

Even when the spider-gang not only didn't trust him but even seemed to dislike Miles at first (Except, of course, Gwen and Peter B, who are very special cases)

And pressing him to see if he was ready and treating him like just a kid (Even Peni).

All so that he then went to his uncle, who was like a second father to him and someone who truly understood Miles, only to find out that he had always been a hitman, going so far as to almost end with the life of his nephew, until he realizes what he was about to do and... well, tragedy happens.

The death of Uncle Aaron, due to the depth and history behind it, remains the most tragic "death of Uncle Ben" in all of cinema... ever.

Miles stopped being the same since then, and even when a hurricane of emotions possessed him, he learned that no matter what, Spider-Man always gets up and keeps going, at the same time he learned to take his leap of faith. Before becoming Spider-Man he had a normal and happy life, but after being bitten by that spider his whole life fell apart, but of course, Miles is someone truly strong and full of determination thanks to the people close to him.

In two days, he surpassed almost the entire Spider-gang, and in a year and a half he become almost a professional as Spider-Man, even giving lessons to everyone else, and making it clear to Gwen and the others what truly means being Spider-Man, not standing by crossed arms while someone is in danger, but trying to do everything you can to save everyone, doing both things, even when it seems impossible, Spider-Man should always try, because everything it's possible.

At the same time that Miles felt stabbed in the back by the same people to whom he wanted to dedicate his entire future just to see them again since he felt alone and sad inside in the world without them, and, specially, without Gwen.

And let me remind something, Miles actually thinks she doesn't even love him and only sees him as a friend, but he still wants to see her

On the ATSV betrayal, he release all that hurricane of emotions that he had to swallow and accumulate inside during ITSV and during that entire year and a half for not having time for ALL those things said before, leading him to have anxiety and panic attacks (Something confirmed in the synopsis of the short "The Spider Within")

All so that they later reveal to him that he was a mistake, an anomaly, that he should never have been Spider-Man, that he killed the Peter of his universe, causing everything that gave MEANING to his life fell down in just a few minutes, leaving Miles more traumatized, mortified and with more trust issues than he already had before.

He really became one of the most tragic character of all the saga (Along with Peter B and, put it in some way, Miguel O' Hara)

And just because Miles looks with a cool and chill personality doesn't mean he's any less traumatized and mortified on the inside (An example is Andrew Garfield's Spider-Man).

Even though in the comics that nickname is only used because that is what his universe is called, in the movies, on the other hand, even though there are people on the internet who deny the fact that he is currently becoming an unstoppable phenomenon that is marking an entire generation and will mark future generations, Miles Morales proved to be, without a doubt, the Ultimate Spider-Man.

As a bonus, even though she always screwed up with everyone around her, both the living and the dead, Gwen showed that she really loves Miles and that he truly is the love of her life, however, needless to say, she has a lot of work to do in her redemption arc to be able to fix things with Miles, which will be very difficult but not impossible, even more so taking into account all the hate she received for everything that happened in ATSV.

Now she has to PROVE not only to him, but to all of us viewers, that she truly deserves to be with Miles, that they can have a life together by her own merit, and that all the hate towards her after the ATSV release it's truly unfair.

However, I have to be realistic, there are characters like Peni or even Peter B who should not be anything more than simple 'acquaintances' or 'partners' for Miles, since, with what they did, the term "Friend" It's too big for them.

In any case, Miles has the last word.

#miles morales #across the spiderverse #spiderverse #spiderman #spiderman: across the spiderverse #spider man across the spider verse #spiderman across the spiderverse #across the spider verse #spider man #spiderman into the spiderverse #spider man into the spider verse #into the spiderverse #spideverse #into the spider verse #spider gwen #gwen stacy #ghostflower #gwen and miles #miles and gwen #gwen x miles #miles x gwen #peter parker #itsv #spiderman atsv #atsv #gwiles #beyond the spiderverse #btsv #atsv analysis #character analysis

[sciderman]

you know i'm kind of obsessed with the tragedy of gwen stacy in the tasm movies because she's - she's such an interesting, tragic creature. we get into it a little in tasm1, that. you know, her father is a police captain - you know, authoritative. incredibly protective of her.

and looking at it, gwen is constantly the victim of men deciding what's best for her. her father decides it's best for her that she stay away from peter. peter decides it's best too, obviously, even though it hurts. it's not a question of what gwen wants.

thinking of the scene in tasm where gwen confides in peter, as she's cleaning his wounds, that she knows what this is - every day she sees her father strap a badge to his chest and she doesn't know if he's going to make it home or not.

gwen's powerless - she has these men in her life that she loves that are constantly making dangerous decisions that put their own lives in danger, and she's constantly expected to sit by passively and do nothing and pray for them to get home safely. like her own desires don't matter. she wants them to be there, she wants to have a say in what these men do, because she loves them and they're important to her. but she has no power. she knows that what they're doing is noble and good for the world, but she is sidelined and never listened to. she has no superpowers, no badge, and no say in the matter.

and her father gets killed. doing something stupid and heroic. and she wasn't involved, and she was powerless to prevent it. and even still, after his death, he's trying to push gwen out of the way of danger. strip her of agency in her own life. she can't be with peter. she doesn't get a say in the matter.

of course that doesn't work out, and peter and gwen wind up back together - but peter is eaten up with guilt, and still thinks he shouldn't be with gwen because gwen is safer without him, yadda yadda, and gwen is sick of it. gwen is sick of men dictating what becomes of her. what she can and can't have. where she should and shouldn't be. so.

i always made fun of this bit of script - it's so, so funny.

"i break up with you peter. i break up with you."

i make fun of it all the time, but i get it. i get why it's written this way. the tasm2 script isn't subtle. gwen is pointedly telling peter that she is calling the shots. peter cannot dictate her fate. this is her choice. she breaks up with him. she is the one with power in this dynamic. she is taking the power. she is not his damsel that needs protecting. she is allowed to tell peter what she wants, and make her own decision about what's best for her.

cut to the end, where peter webs gwen to a car. he wants her out of the line of fire. even though she's proven she's helpful and capable, more so than peter. peter wants her out of harms way, so that he can do something heroic and dangerous.

gwen is SICK of it!! she's going to be heroic and dangerous too. if these men can throw themselves into the line of fire with little care for the people they leave watching helplessly in the rafters than, by god, gwen can do it too. she's not going to watch helplessly as peter fights his battle on his horse, dick swinging, swords drawn. and she's not going to passively sit by as peter gets himself killed because actually, peter's not as smart as he thinks he is.

he's just stupid enough to take the hits and scrape himself off the pavement afterwards. gwen is the one with the plan. and if gwen weren't there, peter might not have been able to pull everything off. he probably would've eventually taken them down in the end, but he would've definitely taken more of a beating, and more property damage, and potentially, more civilian casualties. it was a good thing gwen was there. female excellence. it's not always about who can take a hit.

of course, in the end up - gwen winds up in peril, and no. she doesn't have powers that can save her. and, these men who try and do everything to protect her - they're fallible. but it was her choice. her choice to do the heroic thing, despite her fragility. her choice to step into the line of fire, without super-strength or spider-reflexes. and i think it's a poetic, heroic way to go.

one thing though, that i feel is mismanaged, almost infuriatingly so – is how underdelivered on gwen's death as a heroic gesture. in the end it becomes more about peter's guilt than it does about gwen's sacrifice. because they still wanted to have the iconic "fall" scene from the comics. so, in the end, gwen becomes powerless. she's mid fall. she can't do anything. she has to wait for peter to save her, in the end.

it's infuriating because captain stacy's death is unfalteringly heroic. he dies to save peter.

gwen puts herself in the line of fire to save peter. in the same way her father did. but she's robbed of the heroic framing her father gets because in the end, she has to be saved. in the end, it isn't framed like she saved peter. it's framed like peter failed to save her.

so we get a peter parker pity party instead of actually, what should be a beautiful, heroic send-off for gwen stacy, who became a hero despite every man trying to sideline her.

tl;dr tasm gwen deserved the same heroic framing her father got but hollywood messed up again because they don't know how to do female hero stories

#sci talks movies #gwen stacy #sorry. i think about this a lot. #on paper i think tasm2 is really interesting. ON PAPER. #there's really so much food there. but it's such a bad movie. #but it made me start the blog so what hey. #i think about it a lot. i could do so many video essays about tasm2.

[ramshackledtrickster]

Major major MAJOR across the Spiderverse spoilers under the cut

Just an idea for Spiderverse 3 ,,,

Ok possible idea for Spiderverse 3: bc the spot is so powerful now what if he can manifest his own dimensions? So he utilizes that to break apart the spiderpeople that try to take him down he sends them into their own pocket dimensions, and Miguel gets trapped in a dimension where everything is right and he has Gabriella.

Miguel in this movie is a well rounded character but he hasn’t undergone major change in thinking or philosophy yet (though hints to towards the end). His major barrier in the film is his refusal to accept anything other than tragedy not only being inevitable but be an absolute defining trait of what makes a hero, even when tragedy can and could be prevented. He’s grieving, he’s guilty, yet refuses to call himself the first anomaly and shoves that title onto miles, and he projects all his grief and loathing out on a fifteen year old that has no control over what happened to him (wow what a hypocrite).

Miles’ unpredictability and limitless potential is in direct conflict with the philosophy that he maintains which gives him purpose, that makes his losses more acceptable.

And Miguel lets that pain completely define and rewrite him, instead of that acknowledging that pain as just a part of him— an essential part, like everyone else’s losses, but not the *only* part. Because the true core of Spider-Man that often comes with that pain is choice. And he has yet to internalize that for himself. Though he’s the leader of the spider society, he himself isn’t a true Spider-Man yet (note how while his suit is polished, his face and skin still carry a sketchy quality,, like construction lines and all that). I believe he should get closure in the third film, and his final design would reflect that.

So, in this pocket dimension, Miles and Gwen and maybe some other spider people have to find Miguel and show him the truth that none of this is real it’s a trap— but the onky person that can truly free him from the prison is himself. Miguel has to remember that while he shouldn’t forget this event or let this happen again, he should recognize life and the future is flexible, and not shut yourself or anyone else off from those chances, despite what the numbers or the canon dictates.

He finally understands, and sees Miles for what he represents— Free will, limitless potential, and the choice that makes a Spider-Man. And he has to follow in his lead to get out.

As the world around this pocket dimension is falling apart as the truth becomes clear though, Miguel is still holding onto Gabriella— and Gabriella, though she’s a simulation, feels so real to him. He senses her fear and confusion and he refuses to let his baby girl go.

But they exchange a few final words.

And miguel promises not to let her memory be in vain.

And she’s gone.

Miguel is alone with his thoughts.

Miles reaches out, offering him another chance to get back up— like Spider-Man always does

And Miguel does so and finally chooses that path.

Now they’re going to do it Miles’ way.

Alternative images In case Miguel is getting lost in that zone and he’s deteriorating art wise n getting broken down like Spot was if he’s there for too long

Or maybe he stays solid and Gabriella’s the one who degrades! Who knows!

Super tempted to board this out maybe but I’m not particularly good at dialogue so who knows

#spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderman #across the spider verse spoilers #spoiler tag #major spoilers I’m not kidding #my art #fanart #marvel #spiderman spoilers

[littlebigmouse]

The utter tragedy that is Gwen Stacy.

Like all spider people, she has to figure it out by herself. An endless slew of villains and only one teenage girl against them. An endless slew of villains and one of them turns out to be her best friend.

Peter Parker was bullied until he couldn't take it any more, and decided to fight back. She must not have noticed him cracking, breaking. He knew her secret the entire time, was there for her the entire time, and she didn't even realize his true identity until he was already burried under scaffolding and rubble.

"I just wanted to be special, like you." She's a wanted criminal now. She's always alone. She's hiding increasingly bigger and bigger parts of herself from her father, who loves and supports her and tells her he's going to lock her up as a means to comfort her.

And then he tries to. And she takes the mask off and he keeps trying. Gwen Stacy held at gun point by the last and only loved one she has in the world.

A freak accident happens and she winds up in a place where a Spiderperson has it all figured out and is a well respected member of their community. A place where her best friend is alive and well and special right up until she sees his corpse plastered on news reports all over a foreign city. And there are other Spider people. Other Peter Parkers, all haunting her with never-ending "What could have beens". Gwen isn't alone any more until she is, two days later and with no means to ever see the one tentative friend she may have made, ever again.

A year passed and he might have just moved on from her, anyway.

Gwen Stacy meets a Spiderwoman who is cool and capable and doesn't let love drag her down, but she still gained happiness, somewhere out there. Jessica Drew is a flicker of hope for Gwen that there might be happiness waiting for her, for a Spiderperson that isn't Peter Parker.

Except of course, Jess seems to barely tolerate her. The rescue, safety, is conditional. If Gwen falters, if Gwen isn't good enough, if Gwen slips up even once, she will prove herself a liability, will be send back into isolation, a hopeless situation, home. Will disappoint a person she's trying so hard to impress and connect with.

Spider society is still haunted by the countless ghosts of her best friend. Because every Peter Parker became a hero except hers. Every Peter Parker is fundamentally a good person who wants to save people, every Spiderperson is a good person who wants to save people, except her Peter and this Gwen, who has his blood on her hands. Notice how Gwen and Peter B barely talk, never have a real emotional conversation with each other. They treat each other as equals, and they do care about each other, but they can't shake off the ghosts haunting each other's faces.

Gwen tells Miles "in every other universe, Gwen Stacy falls for Spiderman." People don't soften their blows for Gwen. How did she find out about all the dead Gwen Stacys? She spend several months dimension hopping on missions, did she witness a Peter Parker fail to save his best friend? Is that a "canon event" for Peter Parker? For Spiderman?

Maybe Gwen and Peter can't coexist in the same universe without one of them dying tragically young. Maybe Gwen was never supposed to be Spiderwoman, stole the spot from Peter Parker, robbed him of his life, and her universe hates her for it now. One more anomaly for Miguel to catch later, once he finds out.

Maybe Gwen is the one who got away, she one Gwen who's supposed to have got it good, who made it, will live to see 30. The one Gwen to survive and she's alone, unloved, teetering on the edge. The Gwen that is special and thus shares her fate with all the spider people - will either watch her father die or watch him lock her up or even shoot her on sight. Which is worse? Miles asks Gwen whether that's it, and she just says "Yeah". She gets to chose between the rock and the hard place. Maybe she doesn't have a choice. Gwen Stacy either dies or watches everyone else die. Does it matter, which is written into the fabric of the universe and which is a fluke?

Gwen tries to play by the rules, can't risk messing up again for Jess, can't risk losing Miles, can't risk losing one more friend. One more friend because she can't help but get attached to people, can't help but fall in love with a Spiderman, like all the other doomed Gwens in other universes. But Miles is so fundamentally good he's burried under scaffolding and rubble, curled around a little kid he's saved. Gwen almost watches her best friend die a second time, willing to watch a few civilians die instead. She's been on the other side of that equation and the regret is tearing her apart, the other way around must be better, right?

Would Gwen do it again, knowing who was hidden beneath the scales? Would she sacrifice his bully, her classmates? A little kid and a police captain? Her police captain?

The tragedy of the classic trolley problem is that someone always dies anyway, no matter whether you pull the lever.

Gwen has alltogehter pulled way too many levers.

#Gwen is only 16 #listen i've been having so many feelings about Gwen you don't even know #screaming crying eating glass #gwen stacy #peter parker #miles morales #across the spiderverse #smatsv #spiderverse #gwen angst #spiderman across the spider verse spoilers #atsv #trolley problem #thank god miles decides to just stop the guy tying all these people to the tracks #in one case anyway

[oswinsdolma]

not a day goes by when i don't think about the parallels between the scene where arthur gives merlin his mother's sigil and the ending when he gives gwen the royal seal, because it's just so representative of their different roles in the narrative, and who they are to arthur; he loved both merlin and gwen dearly, but in different ways.

arthur's relationship with gwen is an interesting one, and i think is probably more demonstrative of character growth within the show than any other. when arthur and gwen first fell in love, they were children, but as all children do, they grew up, going from boy and girl to king and queen. their character arcs are intrinsically intertwined, arthur realising the need for kindness whereas gwen became more confident in herself and came out of her shell, and as they grew, so did the kingdom, fruit pollinated by the best in both of them. as a result, gwen was arthur's love, but she was also his wife and queen, as he was her husband and king, their love becoming synonymous with the prosperity of the state, on both a literal and figurative level. when arthur gave gwen the seal, therefore, he passed on a legacy kept very much alive by the love that existed within them both, and it is stronger for it. in essence, gwen comes to represent arthur's tangible legacy; the people, the castle walls and the good he did for the people, and in his death, she keeps alive the parts of him that were most worth saving under the seal that once belonged to him. this is made particularly pongiant in light of the fact that arthur's trust in gwen was something condemned by uther, and there is a sort of triumphant irony in the fact that their love was not what destroyed the kingdom, but kept it alive. when uther passed on the throne, he did so out of reluctant obligation, clinging onto power as a parasite in arthur's memory that is slowly gnawed away. in inheriting the sigil, gwen provides resolution to this discordant, unfinished cadence, completing the circle and bringing the kingdom to where it was always meant to be.

yet with merlin... while gwen embodies the arthur that is remembered, merlin represents the arthur that never was; while she received the key to a kingdom to finish building, merlin was given proof of a memory that never really existed. furthermore, if gwen and arthur's love resolves the cadence of uther's selfish isolation, we can start to see the patterns of how merlin's translates from ygraine's. because if you think about it, arthur almost loved merlin in the same way he loved his mother. merlin was his friend, his confidant and the person who knew him best in the world, but ultimately, he only ever saw a version of him, a half truth, veiled by secrecy and aborted confessions, which were ironically borne from the actions and prejudices of his father. arthur loved his mother unequivocally, but the tragedy of their relationship is that it existed only as borrowed memories from those who loved her before him, his idea of her founded only on dreams and the space in his soul he left behind. but then you take this and apply it to merlin: when arthur died, it was in the anticipation of a future that could have been built, but was cut down before its time, forced to take root in intangible hopes for a future that might never come. as the centuries passed, arthur became not a king, but a legend, more metaphor than person for anyone but merlin, the sole survivor of an almost entirely fabricated past. in a slightly fucked up way, i suppose arthur giving merlin ygraine's sigil almost foreshadows the ending, with arthur passing on the legacy of a love borne of absence to the only one who will survive long enough to carry it. yes amongst this tragedy, there is that eternal motif of hope, because unlike arthur, merlin does remember, and not only that, but he waits. as gwen resolved the legacy of uther, merlin did the same of ygraine, turning the tragedy of what never was into something that still could be.

and the most beautiful thing about this is that it's all symbiotic: gwen could not have built camelot were it not for the love shared between merlin and arthur, and merlin could not have founded a legend were it not for the foundation laid by the marriage of his best friends. they are all elements of a web of stories, suspended in fragile dreams that need each other to be kept alive, but they endure nonetheless, propelled by an insatiable love of one another kept in perfect balance, because there was no other way for the story to go, and no other version of the world that could ever have been.

#this has been brewing for a couple of days and i've only just found the words to articulate it #once again i'm posting gone midnight so apologies if this is shit #terrible midnight analysis #i promise i'll post some happy analysis some day... #merlin #bbc merlin #merlin meta

[earlgreyinpajamas]

Hey can you recommend some find where Merlin, Arthur, Morgana and Gwen are like very close and they are a group. I've red fics where any two of them are close individually but not as a group. I just want to read some fics where all 4 of them are BESTIES and are up to no good.

1. When I Didn't Know The Answer, I Found It In Your Eyes by ironfamjam (@ironfamjam)

 “It was never supposed to end like this. You were both meant for such happier things.”

 “I was always meant to be a tragedy.” Arthur disagrees.

 “Dearest darling, you are the king of kings, this will not be your end.”

With Arthur's death comes a single chance to go back to the beginning and save everyone he's ever loved. Seeing home in Merlin's eyes and a hope for a better world in Morgana's, Arthur knows what he must do.

Only bringing magic back to Camelot will prevent the future he knows is coming from happening, but in his way is the only mountain he's never been able to climb; his father won't change for anyone, not even for his son.

~~~

this fic is so well written it is insane

2. And All His Cursed Destiny by DarnGoshit

Maybe Morgana was always going to make Arthur’s life hell, but at least, with Merlin by her side, she looks happy. Now if only Guinevere would stop shooting him lovesick looks. Or- The Gwen-Merlin roleswap au from Arthur’s POV

~~~

this is the second part of a series that has them causing trouble and saving the day together

3. Mischief Managed by Mercurial_Magic (@mercurialmagic)

Lord Eldred, a visiting nobleman from Mercia, had arrived a few days before. Gwen had been the one to see him yelling cruel insults at the young servant the King had graciously lent him, and she’d told her Lady right after. Morgana would not stand for such dishonorable behavior of course, so it was to plan a revenge of sorts that her, Gwen, Arthur and Merlin were all gathered in a secluded alcove one summer's day.

~~~

you gotta love them

#merthur #bbc merlin #merlin bbc #merlin emrys #merlin #merthur fluff #merthur fanfiction #merthur fic #merthur fanfic #merthur fic recs #merthur fic rec #merlin fic #arthur pendragon #merlin x arthur #merthur au

[thepunkmuppet]

so i have been writing my ideal version of season 14 in my head laying awake at night for weeks now and someone else needs to hear about it before i go insane. so.

concepts that would make miss ruby sunday ✨interesting and spicy✨ without going against the evidence we already have:

she is from the near future (2046 possibly?? i heard that year floating around in relation to robert ap gwillam)

she is from the further future, potentially WAY further, but was sent back in time by weeping angels hence her seemingly modern clothing. also this makes way for a weeping angels episode. you’re welcome.

she either has splinters like clara or there is a spatial genetic multiplicity thing going on (like with gwen cooper and gwyneth), and she exists in multiple time periods (eg, 60s and regency like we have seen in promo photos)

she is some kind of creation of jinkx monsoon’s character or “the duchess”. we don’t know anything about these characters but they are described as “the doctors most powerful enemy yet” and “beware the duchess”. i think creating a companion would be a pretty cool thing for a villain to do (and would probably end in utter tragedy, in the interest of fucking the doctor up, which is always fun)

she is a zygon, other alien or even a time lord who thinks she is human living on earth. i have thought about this and it’s my absolute favourite. there is potential for a queer / outsider allegory which is always great (i don’t belong here, i feel like i’m hiding, etc). she can still be from the modern era, but would have a unique perspective and presence on the show due to actually not being from earth. if a zygon, she would be able to shapeshift, a helpful and never-before-seen skill to have on adventures with loads of fun possibilities. and it would just make the whoniverse feel interconnected, not just retconning important world events with “time can be rewritten” but actually acknowledging that yeah, there are zygons living on earth! remember that? now that ive thought about it, i really want this option…

she is actually from the 1960s or the regency era, and we are seeing it out of sync and/or assuming based on promo stuff that her modern clothing is her everyday clothing and the historical stuff is just for funsies. i would love a 60s companion because a character from the time of the shows creation next to a black doctor?? what a fucking boss move it would be so awesome

she is mia tyler. im adding this because it’s popular, but people are really grasping at straws here in my opinion and i just… don’t like this idea? if mia tyler ever appears i want them to make it damn well clear, at least with foreshadowing and stuff. i’m going into season 14 wanting new and fresh and original. not supernatural nostalgia-bait soap opera shit. “I’M YOUR DAUGHTER FROM ANOTHER UNIVERSE” gimme a break i don’t like this one

she’s a unit or torchwood agent. this could actually be real! i like this one it’s fun, we know there’s gonna be a unit episode including kate stewart, why not have her be involved? love me a badass spy lady, plus it could open up martha jones and spin-off opportunities so….

she’s a secret villain. very broad and vague i know, but it’s never happened before and the shock horror twist of it all would just be so awesome, especially because millie has a background in soap operas lmao

her timeline is funky in some way. maybe she’s like river song, maybe she’s like clara, maybe she’s stuck in a time loop or is from an alternate universe or there’s something very wrong about the events of her life that means timey wimey stuff ensues

she’s a time lord / gallifreyan and possibly a relative of the doctor. possibly linked to susan in some way, or an otherwise relative of the doctor’s. a secret sibling (again, millie gibson’s soap opera background!!), his child / susan’s parent, someone linked to the doctors daughter jenny, etc etc

she’s a time agent. the idea of time agents is really cool but woefully unexplored, we only ever meet jack and john and sure you can’t beat the wives but i want to see the full potential of them, there’s so much you could do

if you can think of any more, please do share in tags and comments i wanna know other ways i can get my hopes up way too high!! :))

#doctor who #dr who #dw #new who #nuwho #millie gibson #ruby sunday #rtd2 #ncuti gatwa #14th doctor #15th doctor #fifteenth doctor

[keebwee]

ive always heard stories where people sense that something's wrong, check it out, and find out they were right, but i never fully believed or understood them. like, in what world does that make sense? i never got it.

cw: pet death and grief

but then, almost a month ago, one of our chickens, gwendolyn, reached the end of her life. she was old and her sister, beautiful susan (that was her full name), had already passed due to illness. gwen was staying in the room across from mine.

i was in my room playing minecraft when i had this sick feeling. ive never felt anything like it. i felt like something was wrong and the only thing i could think of that could go wrong was gwen.

so i rushed out of my room and entered hers to see her laying down in her crate. this was very unusual. id never seen her do this. i opened her crate and started talking to her and petting her. her eyes were closed, but as soon as i started to pet her she opened them and moved her head to look at me.

she just stared for a good minute or so before she blinked and started convulsing. she died soon after.

she waited for someone to be with her to pass on. susan did that apparently, too.

gwen was a very funny chicken. she had an attitude. as a chick she was extremely cuddly, but she grew out of that. i miss her a whole lot.

i havent really talked about this experience much mainly because i dont want to upset people, but theres something so beautiful to me about it despite its tragedy. gwen needed someone, and i somehow knew that. thats whats beautiful.

rest in peace my sweet girl ♥️

#pet death #cw pet death #cw pet loss #pet loss

[fieldsofview]

The Orphan Story - Baby Steps into Storytelling

I had a realization today because three of my interests (Spider-Man, D&D, and Writing/Storytelling) got their wires crossed - bear with me because this is probably going to be a long-winded post.

Something that's really prevalent in the Spider-Man fandom is the trope of "Dead May Parker" in fic. Usually, it starts with Peter's aunt and primary guardian, May Parker, being killed off-screen to set up the fic, often with just a small blurb about it like it wouldn't completely shatter Peter's world, but ya know.

It can be done in any number of ways (car crashes, cancer, and being caught in a supervillain's crossfire are all pretty typical for this).

There are a myriad of common storylines that build from this choice. IronDad, Homeless!Peter, and Foster!Peter are all really prevalent. Sometimes it's so that characters that people ship with Peter will be pushed together out of a need for Peter to live someplace new and/or needing someone to lean on. (I could go on, but you get the idea).

I could spend a lot of time talking about each of these storylines and the ways they can be done well or poorly, and the greater implications for the fandom as a whole, but that's not what this post is about so I will leave that here.

Peter Parker as a character, despite his many iterations among the various Spider-Man comics and adaptations, has always been a character with tragedy engrained in his story (Richard & Mary Parker, Ben Parker, Gwen Stacy, Harry Osborn, the clones, his marriage, etc., etc., etc.). It's not necessarily out of the norm for more tragedy to occur, and having his only living family and primary guardian for most of his life die would definitely be on par with the rest of his life.

However, I don't think that the instances of the "Dead May Parker" trope in fic are because of this. At least, not when you dig.

I think people do it because it's easy.

I'm not saying that writing grief is easy, but that's part of the problem. Most of the stories using this trope don't bother to show the grief. Her death is just a device used to further other relationships.

Generally speaking, it's easier to write stories with fewer characters. Balancing a large cast with varying points of view, backstories, voices, motivations, etc., is always going to be more complicated. For a writer who's starting out, or perhaps someone who just doesn't want to make things harder on themselves for their hobby-writing, it's easier to do what you can to shrink the relevant cast. And for something like Spider-Man, there are more side characters relevant to his life than I think any person could possibly count - especially when you look across all the versions/adaptations that exist.

(That's part of why I love this fandom, despite its flaws. There are SO MANY stories to be told and so much room to pick apart what's there and transform it into something new. Fandom is transformative in nature, after all, and comics like Spider-Man are a buffet to choose from.)

I also think that it's easier to put a character like Peter Parker (especially if you're writing him as a high schooler as so many adaptations seem to permanently keep him as) into convoluted situations if he doesn't have a primary guardian to keep an eye on him. Especially one who's loving and caring and is actively parenting him. (I would argue that this is the perfect time to write him as an adult with his own autonomy and whatnot, but you know, that's not what the movie makers seem to want so... I digress.)

And lastly, I think someone being young and completely orphaned with no caretaker to look after them is also a sort of trauma that is easy to understand. I'm not saying it's a trauma that's easy to live with, but as an outsider looking in, it's easy to say "Oh, well yeah, of course, that person is struggling. Look at the hand they've been dealt."

A character - just like people - with more complex reasons for 'Why They Are The Way They Are" TM, can be harder to empathize with, especially if those reasons are not something the reader is familiar with. And it's most certainly harder to write, with all the layers, intricacies, imperfections, and generally weird ways that the human experience works. (In the same vein, it's why people with certain traumas, triggers, mental health issues, etc., are often dismissed or harassed, but that's a whole other can of worms that I'm not going to dive into atm.)

"But FOV," you might be wondering, "How does all of this relate to Dungeons & Dragons?"

Well, y'all ever heard of the Orphaned Rogue Trope?

In the greater online D&D community, there are a lot of common tropes and character builds that people are familiar with. They're common enough that you get a lot of memes shared around about them and a lot of people building characters that both lean into the tropes and/or subvert them. (The horny bard, the dumb barbarian, the warlock with daddy issues, etc.)

One of these is the 'Orphaned Rogue'.

(Please keep in mind that I'm referencing 5e specifically. I've played many editions - don't quote the old magic to me, Witch - but 5e is the most common edition to ever be played and has brought a massive influx of people to this game in the last decade, so that's what I'm talking about here.)

A lot of people start out with a Rogue as their first character, I would argue disproportionally so. There are a few reasons for this. 1) Rogues typically (I'm not going to argue over subclasses here, don't come for me) don't have any magic, and magic-using characters are typically more complicated to learn to play than non-mages. 2) For players who aren't as familiar with high fantasy, a thieving, backstabbing character is usually still one that people can recognize. (Similarly, I think this is part of why a lot of people also start by playing Rangers). 3) Especially at low levels, Rogues don't have a whole lot of character abilities. They're really really good at the few things they do, but that's about it, so it's extra easy to step into as a beginner.

So where does the orphan part come in? Well, a lot of beginners to D&D are also beginners to storytelling in general (with exceptions, you'll always have the people who side-stepped over from LARPing, theatre, writing, etc.). This means that they're new to the idea of creating a character that has no reliance on their own personal history. Their character can be literally anyone, and they will be able to interact with the story in whatever way they want to.

Creating a character is one of the most overwhelming things for a new D&D player. It's a boundary to entry that I've seen turns a lot of people away from the game. It's work that has to be done before you even get to roll your first die. It requires math, decision-making, and creativity in a way that not everyone is prepared for right off the bat.

(Yes, I know I might seem to be exaggerating here, but please remember that we live on the hellsite for creatives. This is not the norm for a lot of people. I once invited a co-worker into a game who was an avid non-fiction reader and had never done any theatre, not even drama class. She had genuinely never put herself into a fictional character's shoes since she was last playing Let's Pretend as a small child at recess. It was a hard learning curve for her, but she grew to love the game a lot and now is an avid LARPer as well.)

Your character has to have somewhere that they came from. They are a person, through and through, and should therefore have lived experiences that shape their point of view, their actions, and the way that they interact with other people.

It's not easy to think of an entire history for a person all at once, all while you're just trying to wrap your head around the math and learn the rules required to play this damn game that your friends have been bugging you about for who knows how long.

And so - orphan. No existing family means no extra characters to have to build personalities for or shared experiences between your PC and them that you have to write.

It's easier. It's removing a barrier to entry to the game.

(This is probably also why amnesiac characters are also really common first-time PCs, now that I think about it.)

So what's my point in all of this?

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure.

I think it's really easy for anyone who has been a storyteller of any kind for a while to see the annoying, problematic, or sometimes downright concerning ways these tropes manifest. There are connotations for the stories that use these 'easy' orphan tropes, and these can and should be talked about. As I said above, I could talk about the "Dead May Parker" trope and the problematic themes that regularly exist in these stories until I'm blue in the face.

But, at the same time, I think we should also take these things with a grain of salt. New storytellers of any kind are going to make mistakes. They're going to write imperfect things. Humans never pop into existence with a fully formed skill. These things need to be learned through practice and exposure, and these choices most often aren't made with malicious intent.

Long ago, when I was a wayward young teenager, my first major foray into fanfiction was through an A:TLA fic that I put on ff.net. (No, I will not link it here. No, it was not under any USN I use anymore. Don't ask.) But, looking back, even though I was so immensely proud of that story, it also had a lot of things in it that I wouldn't write today. Things that my gut reaction would be to judge and raise an eyebrow at, if I read them now. But I also learned a lot while writing it, and there was a lot of heart in that story, too. I was just writing from a naivete that made me think I had the know-how to tackle themes that I was too young to fully understand.

In many ways, I am still proud of that fic, not because of the story itself, but because of the effort I put into it and the things it taught me about storytelling and writing as a learned craft.

I think my point is this: everyone has to start somewhere.

Sometimes people need to start off with those easier stories so that they can learn enough and build enough confidence to tackle the bigger ones.

So, do I think we shouldn't critique something when it does have harmful implications? No, we absolutely should. Critique and open discussion are how individuals and communities learn to grow. (No, I am not advocating for you to leave criticism on random people's fics. I mean critique of tropes in general. It's never cool to leave negative comments on people's fic.) Open discussion is good and healthy, and it's part of what makes fan spaces and communities flourish and bond.

But I do think that those critiques can be done from a perspective of learning. I often see people so far split down the middle that it alienates people from each other.

In fan spaces where the content shared is inherently made as an act of love, freely given and freely received, it's easy for people to say that no criticism is ever acceptable. "It's free content, just enjoy it and move on!" & "You're taking it too seriously!" are often phrases I've seen spouted about both these communities. And they are true things to an extent. It is fictional and freely made content. There is a point where it can be taken too seriously. The other side will often say things like, "Enjoying ___ media makes you a ___ supporter!" & "Anyone who writes ___ is a terrible person!" I would argue that these also have some truth to them, but they are also taken too far.

(If you like a fictional trope that has problematic or harmful indications, it's a good idea to unpack why you like that trope. What draws you to it? What enjoyment do you get out of it? A lot of times, the answers to this are not actually harmful, but they can be, and it's always good to self-reflect.)

Fictional stories are a way for us to feel aspects of the human experience that we cannot experience for ourselves. It's also a way for us to find catharsis when a character does experience something similar to our own lives. It's a way to broaden our views and feel our way through the wide range of human emotions. It is not meant to reflect life perfectly, and yet it is often done best when there are still echoes of reality embedded in its soul. (I digress, again.)

Communities - even online ones - thrive when the people in them are doing their best to be open to each other's perspectives.

Nuance is never easy in online spaces. When the person on the other side of a post is an anonymous little picture with no connection to your life, it's easy to take one small piece and blow it up to be your whole picture. They become that one post, that one hot take, or that one fic in your mind. But that's not people.

People are always learning, growing, maturing. Every skill takes time. Everyone has to start at their first step - even if it's the orphan story.

So keep talking about those tropes. Keep discussing the harmful trends that crop up across fandoms. Keep breaking down the root of the problem and sharing ways to build better ones.

But if you see someone in their 'orphan story' phase, understand that they are new and learning. They might need a push in the right direction or a friend to guide them for the better.

#I was supposed to be working on SMH and got sidetracked instead with this brainworm #I think we've all had our own 'orphan moment' #this hellsite is where nuance goes to die so y'all better not f me over with this one #writing #storytelling #spiderman #dungeons and dragons #fic writing #story tropes #writer rambles #foviewpoint #ao3 #2300 words I could have put towards SMH but you get this instead #fandom is community #fandom discourse #mcu fandom #spiderman fic #d&d 5e

[destinygoldenstar]

Total Drama Danganronpa Island Chapter 4 Deadly Life Spoilers:

Tw: I talk about suicide and cancel culture in the story

I myself have never experienced having suicidal thoughts. The only time I can recall where I came close was getting braces. Yeah. So you can imagine the research I had to do, especially since in this very fic, I’ve been pretty dismissive of mental illnesses and disorders. That I apologize for and hope I can do better.

This was something I felt more than anything, I CANNOT dismiss this, nor can I sugarcoat it. I have to be as respectful to it as possible, and actively discourage the idea. Never know if there’s a crippled person out there that sees your work and takes it to heart. (That’s a nightmare for me. To have something I made be responsible for someone’s death)

I have a romantic partner with chronic illnesses for almost ten years now, and still no cure. Multiple times, they’ve shared to me their suicidal thoughts, thoughts that made me scared of losing them. They’re still alive, and they say over and over again it’s because of me.

I’m someone who has a hard time talking coherently. That’s why my social media presence is mostly text. So Bridgette’s speech here, I personally see it as me talking to the people struggling to find something to live for and never give up even where there’s literally no hope left. There’s always something, even when you don’t see it at the moment. Someone to love, someone who loves you, a book you like, a show you like, nice walks, whatever. There’s something. You can’t experience those good things if you’re dead.

There’s also some cancel culture commentary here. Everyone’s a part of it whether we consciously know it or not. It’s really sad.

I cant count how many times Ive said something whether in real life or online and I become self-conscious whenever someone has a certain response. One wrong word and a whole group of people can hate you. That’s all it takes.

In the realm of fame, either you’re a role model or you’re a disgrace. Nothing in between.

Total Drama isn’t any different from this subject matter with Gwen in particular. Something I feel a lot if people overlook.

There are some cases where it’s lies and the person is innocent, you may find a few examples of such, and that's just heartbreaking.

But what happens when you ACTUALLY screw up? Make a mistake? Make a fool out of yourself? Like humans do? (I.e, Gwen) Cancel Culture tells you you’re therefore an awful person with no redeeming qualities, and that one mistake suddenly becomes your whole life. It’s heartbreaking especially when the cancelled person WANTS to own up and be better, but the people just don’t have it.

Then there's the other side of cancel culture, which many famous people, such as Chris, use to defend TRULY terrible people and say the world is in the wrong.

Either way, Gwen was treated like dirt and sent to suffer for an old mistake, for so long until she lost hope altogether and bailed on fighting. The others could've helped her, but only Duncan took the time to consider helping, and he tried to commit suicide... so what other influence was there for Gwen in a world where she really needed a friend?

Does this mean the other campers are entirely to blame? No. But there is a lesson for them to learn here about empathy and redemption as a concept. Them hating her is understandable if you the audience want to see it as understandable reasons to hate Gwen, but did they go about it the right way? No.

Gwen Ellis is nothing short of a tragedy and a cautionary tale of a minor being a victim of cancel culture.

And the surviving campers want to make sure that her fate never happens to anybody else ever again.

And in case you’re wondering why Bridgette is the one who gave the eulogy, when Duncan and Courtney were right there, 1) Neither were very mentally stable at the time 2) Bridgette is one of the hosts with who WAS Geoff (And is now Leshawna. Platonically.), so she has the experience to give speeches like this in front of people. That and she has the calm agency to be mature about the situation, especially how she, more than anyone, feels like she HAS to own up to her mistake of being a part of the fuel that lead to the death of this girl.

And she didn't have to do that, and no one would blame her. Gwen killed Geoff, forced to or not, and Bridgette was understandably upset and could still hold that grudge even after Gwen's death, and no one would blame her. But the fact that she took ownership after realizing what's happened says a lot about her as a person.

#total drama #danganronpa #total drama danganronpa island #td gwen #td bridgette #tw sucidal ideation #tw s3lf harm #tw sui talk #td duncan #cancel culture

[fandomfaeofveryfewf4cks]

Long post. Fic under the dotted line. Or: ao3: What we are left with

Before the actual fic, here is a long post about why I wrote this fic. Disclaimer: heavy themes of grief.

I know this is a few days late, but I wanted to write something for the 15th Anniversary of the Merlin pilot episode, and it ended up needing a lot more time to get done than I thought.

I shouldn't be surprised though. Aside from most of my writings ending up longer than intended, Merlin is a show that's always meant a lot to me.

It was my introduction to the fandom world, for starters. Merthur was my first OTP and continues to be a favorite of mine. Katie McGrath was my first celebrity crush. There are Merlin fanfics and fanart that have touched my heart in a way not a lot of things have. (See my username). Fandom communities, in turn, helped me feel less alone, especially in a time where loneliness was weighing very heavily on me.

Merlin is also just magic, and capes, and swordfighting, and pretty dresses. Horseriding, dragons, unicorns, curses, poisons, plots, schemes, saving the day, and shenanigans.

Merlin is heartbreak, love, betrayal, violence, peace, oppression, secrets, friendship, hope, and bonds that can not be broken by death and tragedy. Bonds that will not fade in a thousand years.

My brother introduced me to Merlin when I was very young and I fell in love with it instantly. Partially because it meant more time spent with said brother. Episode three scared the shit out of me though, for some reason, and it would be a couple years before I started watching it again. Coincidentally, I started watching it again sometime around when my brother died. So, you can see how that adds a whole other layer of importance to this show for me, not to get too personal.

But, again, I shouldn't be surprised because everything about this show does ultimately feel personal to me. It's why I haven't done much writing or anything with it. I know I just won't really be able to stop. (Hence, how long this post is.)

Nonetheless, I wanted to write something for it. I debated doing a more merthur-based thing, but I ended up doing something mainly centered around Gwen's perspective in the first couple months after Arthur died. The first part is mainly about her. The second part... well, I can't let myself even think about all the grief this show's characters go through without getting dragged into Merlin's grief specifically. I'm not entirely sure why, though I have my theories.

Either way, the second half is more about a healing Gwen trying to help Merlin start healing as well. This is not a happy fic. This is not meant to be an angsty fic. It's really not meant to be anything other than self-indulgent for me. I'm probably subconsciously trying to help myself work through some of my own shit and, you know.. I'm tempted to maybe think that that's okay. I don't talk about grief enough, really.

Sometimes, I've felt like I was faking my grief and didn't deserve to be included in the group of people with "real" grief because I obviously wouldn't know what I was talking about.

I've felt like a ticking time bomb holding in all of my emotions, terrified of the day they explode and possibly hurt whoever is nearby.

I've cried and done everything I could to hide it, screamed with nobody around to hear it, and lied about being fine to people I Never want to lie to.

Merlin tried not to cry around people. Merlin screamed when no one was around to hear it. Merlin lied about being fine to people he Never wanted to lie to.

So did many other characters in Merlin.

I find so many of the characters in Merlin to be beyond relatable. I can scarcely find it funny.

I can't fully explain everything this show has done for me. I can explain that:

It starts with a young warlock making a journey to a place where no one knows him, and he quickly learns it's safer if no one ever knows him fully.

He makes friends anyway, including one who will fundamentally change everything Merlin knows about himself just by existing.

Merlin makes mistakes with consequences.

Everyone makes mistakes with consequences.

The show ends with multiple tragic deaths, a kingdom that is heartbroken (but moves on as they must), and an old warlock, who has spent hundreds of lifetimes being older than he looks and depressed, and who has spent barely a fraction of one lifetime being young and hopeful.

Merlin loses everyone he cares about, and yet, he still has hope. He still lives for Arthur. Now, I'm not expecting anyone to come back from the dead anytime soon. I don't think it's a good idea to want such a thing in real life, either. But if Merlin can hope and live after 1000+ years of loneliness and grief, then how can I not think it's possible for me to get through my equivalents of all that shit?

Oh, and don't get me started on the LGBTQ+ subtext and "magic users are oppressed and have to hide who they are to survive" comparison. That hit me like a goddam freight train even harder than realizing I liked Morgana before AND after she became evil.

Anyway, there's a fic if you want to read it. There's angst, Gwen POV, and everyone trying to get Merlin to eat something and go outside to prevent him developing a resistance to sunlight or something.

Enjoy...?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"What we are left with" or "A Love Letter to the Adventures of Merlin BBC"

The king is dead.

Arthur is dead.

Gwenevere sits on the throne as people ask her about all the things that need to be done in the kingdom. Camelot is under her rule... and her rule alone.

Plenty of people will talk about how "if me from ten years ago saw me now, I wouldn't believe it." Gwen felt like it was beyond understandable for her to feel this was most accurate for her life.

She was born a peasant; a blacksmith's daughter. It seems impossible that she sits on the throne now.

It wasn't long ago that it quite simply and entirely WAS impossible, in fact.

It was a huge change, not only for her, but for all of Camelot, and arguably, the world. It was inevitable that there would be challenges galore, and a number of severe ones at that.

She had known that Arthur was a popular target for people set on hurting Uther, taking over the kingdom, etc. etc.

She had known that being Queen would be far from easy.

But she also knew that Arthur needed her. According to him, Camelot also needed her. There isn't much that Gwen wouldn't do for the people she loves and it isn't like the burden of power doesn't come with upsides.

She lives in a palace with a large bed for her to sleep in and the grandest of rooms that she doesn't have to clean. Many of the things she used to do for herself, like bathing, dressing, and preparing meals, are all done for her now, even if she still has a habit of making the bed when her handmaidens aren't looking.

She doesn't have to wonder what kind of trouble Elyan is up to these days, because he is here, where she can keep a closer on eye on him and worry just a teensy bit less about him.

She has friends who are always there for her. Ones who respect her and defend her with their lives, but will still also laugh with her and give a shoulder to cry on when she needs it, as she still is for them after all these years.

All of these things are still true. Many of these people are still here, but she has never felt so alone.

Morgana betrayed her and the kingdom. She left her and eventually kidnapped her for the sake of warping her mind and manipulating her. They used to have a bond she had thought unbreakable. They had whispered secrets into each other's hair while holding each other after some of Morgana's nightmares. They had inside jokes and knew each other so well that they seemed to have an entire secret language between them that consisted solely of ticks and facial expressions. A crinkle of her nose when a suitor said something unclever or boarish. A raised eyebrow and a slight frown when Arthur was surprisingly (if only momentarily) gallant. A smile when Gwen said something she found amusing.

Gwen hadn't seen that smile in years. Any delusion of seeing it again was lost long ago. But apparently, she still had a sliver of hope left because hearing that she was dead, while in many ways was a relief, also hurt nearly as much as hearing the same fate had met Arthur.

That was both Gweneviere's greatest strength and greatest weakness; she was never really lacking in hope.

Even now, when her hope is arguably facing its biggest challenge yet, it's nowhere near gone.

She wishes she could say the same for Merlin's.

He's barely said a word. In fact, Gwen had hardly seen him at all. He had gone straight to Gaius, who somehow got an explanation out of him, and Merlin was presumably keeping to his room.

She couldn't blame him. If Gwen didn't have the responsibility of being queen, she might have done the same. And even then, she has still taken some time to shed her fair share of tears.

Gwen and Arthur's relationship was always an entirely different matter from Merlin and Arthur's relationship. All three of them knew this in some way. (Really, most of Camelot knew, to a point.)

Gwen and Arthur loved each other. That was never false, but there had been a time when they thought it was a different sort of love than it was. Once their relationship had become known, the people of Camelot thought they were essentially soulmates and destined to be one of the greatest love stories ever told. They weren't entirely wrong, but it wasn't the whole truth.

They could tell each other absolutely anything. Each of them had a great mind that worked well with the other, leading not only to an excellent partnership in rulers of the land, but also to an understanding that meant they could always rely on each other in any moment of need.

Gwen loved Arthur for his bravery and willingness to change himself and the things within his power for the betterness of all. She also loved him for his goofiness and his tragic past. She loved him for never passing personal judgement on her for her station or gender or race. She loved him for seeing her as the person she was, not the servant he was expected to see her as.

And that's exactly one of the reasons why he loved her. She didn't treat him like he was only a royal figure to worship and bend over backwards for. He wasn't just a king. He was her king. Just as she was his queen.

And to be a better king, Arthur needed people who would tell him when he was being conceited or small-minded...

Or a prat.

Merlin was there for Arthur just as much, if not far more so than Gwen was and that did not lessen the love between Gwen and Arthur even a little.

But Merlin had Arthur's heart from the moment they met.

And Arthur had Merlin's.

Many people would see and hear how Merlin blatantly insulted the KING and be baffled when his majesty would respond with Laughter. This servant could call King Arthur a dollophead, a clotpole, a prat, a cabbagehead, and so much more and face little to no repercussions. And this happened regularly. Many times a day, in fact. It was puzzling to many.

But Gwen knew why Arthur rarely, if ever, took offense to Merlin's ribbing and why Merlin would keep coming back only to be given endless chores and musings about his supposed lack of intelligence.

It wasn't because Merlin needed the job or had an obligation to the kingdom, at least not entirely. It wasn't because Arthur needed a servant or still felt he owed Merlin the job as part of a life debt, at least not entirely.

It was because they needed each other. And they both knew it in one way or another. That's why the words either didn't sting like it might seem they should or simply weren't enough to keep each other away. They knew they didn't truly mean it. They knew there was something far more important in their relationship than than there would be in any of their squabbles; even the serious ones.

"A half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole."

Gwen would never describe it in those words alone. It's silly to say something so cryptic and simply stated and pretend it explains absolutely everything in complete clarity.

Besides, who could accurately put into words the strength of Arthur and Merlin's love for one another.

Gwen and Arthur were husband and wife. But they were friends first. And when they got married they did so knowing it was best for the kingdom, and not in the way Uther thought, but in the way Queen Gwenevere and King Arthur believed. They were going to prove that change could lead to great things.

Gwen had hoped she wouldn't have to do so alone.

And even if it wasn't fair to her friends to think that she was truly alone, it would be quite some time before she felt otherwise.

The king is dead.

Queen Gwenevere sits on a single throne with a crown on her head, facing her subjects who she would put everything she had, as well as all she'd remember Arthur to be, into leading her people into the time of peace and prosperity that she and Arthur had hoped to see one day.

Arthur is dead.

Nothing would ever be the same. There were going to be some major difficulties in the road ahead, perhaps even some failures. But that will not stop her from trying harder. Arthur's loss will not stop her from loving again or hoping still. Nothing will stop her from being there for her kingdom... and for her friends.

. . . . .

She walked down the halls one step at a time. She smiled at the passers by and thanked those who gave their condolences.

She stopped wearing black a few weeks ago, but there were still dreadful clouds over everyone's hearts, though most of them had found ways to keep going nonetheless.

Except for one heart, it would seem, whose clouds were still striking everything that moved with unforgiving lighting and drowned out every sound with its devastating downpour.

For about two weeks, he hadn't left his room. Then the knights and her had taken turns in visiting him to try and get him to eat something or get some fresh air at the very least.

When he had seen Gwen, he could scarcely do more than sob into her shoulder. And she let her own tears fall as they held each other. He couldn't talk. He didn't utter a single word and even his cries were choked down to the point she was concerned he start actually choking.

He was becoming increasingly unhealthy, but somehow, neither he nor Gaius seemed especially worried about him dying, as strange as it was. He grew frighteningly more skinny as he didn't eat. His skin was paler and dryer, but still he wouldn't move from his bed. He flinched away from any golden light they might try and let in through the window. The dullness that would take over his face when you so much as showed him a glass of water was all beyond worrisome. Yet Gaius would simply say to give him time. Gwen and the knights worried just how much time it would take and whether it would be before or after Merlin starved to death.

After about a month, Gaius had said he'd successfully convinced Merlin to have a few bites of stew and some water for his father figure's sake if not for his own. They all nearly tried to throw a party in celebration. He still wouldn't leave his room, though.

A month later had him out of bed and dressed. He even helped Gaius with his work as best he could, but would not leave the physician's chambers. He talked some, but very little, and hardly above the softest whisper. And he wouldn't stay out of his room for very long. This went on like this for months.

Gwen tried to visit more often, but couldn't stay for very long. There was so much to do. She had understood when Merlin didn't want to be part of the ceremony held in remembering of Arthur, especially since he had already said his goodbyes when it mattered.

But there was so much more to do. Gwen was facing a lot of pushback from the members of the council who didn't believe she had a right to sit on the throne. She was handling that. With plenty of people vouching for her, and her own actions proving to be helping Camelot more and more every day, as well as the majority of Camelot's people loving her and everything she stands for as well as her strength in the face of her husband's death, she's been able to handle it. There's a million other issues that have mostly gotten smaller and smaller as she worked at them and any new issues that came up.

But she still needed Merlin. She still needed her friend. Merlin was one of the few people closest to her that hadn't died or betrayed her. She wasn't going to let him hide himself away forever. And there were still a number of things they needed to talk about.

His magic for one.

So here she was, walking to the physician's chambers ready to get her best friend out in the world again if she had to drag him out.

She knew he'd likely never be the same or even fully happy again without Arthur, but she was determined to remind him that he was so much more than what he was for Arthur: His protector. His servant. His lover. His friend... His real soulmate.

All those things he was to Arthur made up and will always be a huge part of who Merlin is, but Gwen will not let him think he is nothing with Arthur gone.

So she knocks on Gaius' door.

Gaius looks worried when he opens the door, but also almost received as he let's her in and tells her Merlin is in his room.

They share a knowing look before she walks up the steps and carefully opens the door.

When she walks in, she sees Merlin sitting by the fire, holding Ygraine's sigil in his hands and watching the flames shape a person in armour interacting with a person in more common garb. It's almost like the fire is playing Merlin's memories back to him. Gwen only thinks this because she recognizes the scene. The day Arthur made some poor boy run around with knives getting thrown at him, and Merlin stood up to him, with no thought to station or the sorts of power one person could try and use against him.

Gwen knew Merlin had magic by now. Gaius and she had discussed it partially after she figured it out. She had suspected something of the like for a little while, now, in fact.

She had never seen him use magic blatantly and so closely before. She took a breath in surprise and the images in the flames flickered away as Merlin turned to look at her, his eyes still shining gold for just a second before turning back to blue. His face was wet.

Neither of them moved for a moment before Gwen made the choice to slowly walk over and sit beside him. The warlock. The love of her dead husband's life. One of her greatest friends.

"Merlin."

He hadn't broken eye contact with her at all since she came in, but with the sound of her voice, the clouded sheen across his eyes flickered to almost reveal what was behind them. He said nothing back.

"I know, we've been skirting around some very difficult talks these past couple months, and I don't plan to press you on what I'm fairly sure is the most painful one for you, seeing as it is also the most painful one for me." The cloudy sheen grew thicker. You once saw a deep blue when you looked at Merlin. Now it seemed more and more like a stormy gray.

Gwen resumed. "But there is one thing I think we need to talk about sooner rather than later: your magic." (This wasn't entirely true. There wasn't much of a time limit on this as even if they started taking down the anti-magic laws in the system, it would be a very long time before they started to see real change. Nonetheless, it does need to happen and it's a much better conversation to get Merlin out and about again than trying to talk about anything to do with Arthur specifically.)

Surprisingly, his expression stayed stone still. No surprise, no fear, no confusion, nothing. She had figured Gaius told him she knew and in some of her visits to Merlin, she had made implications and questionable comments to subtly let him know that she knew and was not going to have him executed over it. And avoiding addressing it directly for fear of him panicking or shutting down or doing something reckless. So she wasn't expecting him to be totally off-guard.

But to have absolutely no emotional reaction at all was not a good sign.

He continued to say nothing.

"Merlin, please. Nothing is easy anymore, I know. Not talking to your friends. Not getting out of bed. Not even breathing, at times. Believe me, I understand this. Obviously there are parts of what you're going through, that I don't understand, but that's never going to stop me from trying. And the same goes for Gaius, Elyan, Percival, and Leon. We are all here for you. That's what makes us friends is We are all here for each other."

He had looked away around when she talked about wanting to understand and had slowly drifted to looking back at the fire.

"Please look at me, Merlin. I need to know that you're hearing me." She grabbed his arm softly and his eyelids twitched. Slowly, so slowly, he started to move his lips like he was about to speak.

He struggles for a moment before his eyes glow gold and he lowers his head as the fire starts to dance again. This time, it shows a boy playing in the woods. He makes butterflies from nothing and they dance around him and Gwen can almost hear the joyous laughter as the boy plays with his magical creations.

Then another boy appears and the butterflies fly away. The first boy is very still. Then the second boy walks over and, after a moment, he hugs him tightly. The first boy hugs back.

The image shifts. There are two young men, young enough that to still be considered boys, working in fields of grain. The crop is not doing well and the boys look concerned. One of them starts to seem frustrated with the other and gestures to the crops. The other contemplates for a moment. He looks around to see if anyone is looking and then kneels down to get his hands in the dirt.

The figures the fire makes are not as detailed as the people they represent, but they are detailed enough that two spots where the figure's eyes would be glow brighter than the rest of him. The crops flourish and grow tall. The first boy is amazed at what his friend has done and is grabbing his arm excitedly. The second is concerned.

The scene changes again, and now the boys walk alone through a town with multiple figures looking at them and whispering amongst themselves. The boys reach a particular house where a woman waits for them. She brings them inside.

In the house, the woman is talking animatedly. The boys are clearly being scolded by a worried mother.

"They suspected Will was the sorcerer." A cracking voice says quietly next to Gwen.

She immediately looks over to Merlin, who is watching the flames sullenly; tiredly. She waited for him to continue.

He sighed shakily. "When the crops became healthier than would normal even in a good year overnight, that was the last straw for the other villagers. They had suspicions before, but this was undeniable. And Will and I were known to have been in the field during the time frame the crops changed."

"If I had stayed, my mother would've had to watch one or both of us get turned against by the whole village and it wouldn't have been safe for any of us. If someone left mysteriously, and all the suspiciously magical things stopped happening, then they'd be satisfied that the sorcerer wouldn't be bothering them again. It was Will or me, and really, I was the obvious choice."

The fire showed on of the boys with a pack on his back, hugging the woman, then hugging his friend before leaving his home.

"Even if I could've bared to watch Will leave, an outcast to his home, I wouldn't have been able to live without ever using magic again. The suspicions would pick up again sooner or later. So my mother sent me away to Gaius, believing he'd teach me better control of my magic and believing the business of the city would help keep eyes off of me."

The fire shows the boy appearing over a hill, approaching the unmistakable image of Camelot. It seems so bright and hopeful.

Then Merlin is in a cave talking to the Great dragon.

"From the beginning, Kilgarrah would tell me how my destiny was to help Arthur. To protect him and help him become the greatest king the land had ever known. He told me Arthur would unite the lands of Albion and magic would be free once more."

Gwen wasn't sure what to think of this. So she just kept listening.

"It's very difficult to turn away when someone tells you there's a future where you and people like you can be free from persecution and don't have to constantly fear for your life over something you can't help. It's a lot harder to feel like that's possible when you're just a kid from Ealdor, being told this future relies almost entirely on you. That all your power and all your gifts were given to you so that you would bring about a golden age of peace for everyone by keeping one stupid prat alive." He chuckles into a cut off sob at that.

The fire then shows Uther sentencing a warlock to death in front of the poor man's mother. It shows her disappearing in rage.

It shows her throwing a dagger at Arthur's heart just before Merlin slows time to pull Arthur away safely.

Arthur looks surprisingly blurry in the flames, but far more bright and golden than anything else in the scene.

The scenes change much more rapidly now. Merlin using magic to reveal Valiant's magical shield. Merlin using magic to destroy the monster that was poisoning the water. Merlin calling the Great Dragon and ordering him to stop terrorizing Camelot and leave for good. Merlin stopping bandits with falling branches and mysteriously thrown spears. Merlin facing off Cenred and refusing the chance to rule with him.

"I couldn't save everyone."

Merlin meeting a girl under the castle to bring her food and talk with her. That girl turning into a monster and being killed by Arthur. Merlin watching Will die with an arrow in his chest and a lie on his lips for the sake of protecting his friend from Arthur. Merlin stopping Arthur from going through the veil, but being beat to going through it himself by Lancelot. (That scene wasn't quite so detailed and Gwen reached for his shoulder in thanks for that. Whether it was more for her or himself.)

"Or I didn't try hard enough."

Mordred getting thrown in the dungeons with no way to save the love of his life and Merlin doing nothing about it.

Merlin poisoning Morgana.

Gwen had to take a breath for that one. The situation back then had eventually reached her ears and she had eventually forgiven Merlin, but that didn't make it any easier a truth to face. She took her hand away, but stayed close.

"Over time, protecting Arthur with my magic became less and less about bringing about a peaceful future and so much more about just-"

He couldn't finish that sentence, but the fire showed a king in full armour grasping the forearm of his servant. The two of them only seeing each other. Arthur was very clear to see now. You could make out the sharpness of his jaw and crinkles of his eyes. The fire changed colors so his hair and crown would shine gold, his cape deepened to Pendragon red, and his eyes shifting to a piercing blue.

Merlin's figure was much less bright and detailed, but the tinted red of his neckercheif and the faint blue of his eyes were bolder than before. After all, his mission in protecting Arthur may have changed him not always for the better, but his love for Arthur always brought out the best parts of Merlin.

Merlin had kept his face expressionless through most of the story, but not like he was trying to hide his emotions anymore. No, he simply couldn't bring himself to feel anything about the secret of his magic anymore. This secret he's had to keep from almost everyone in his life for so long. He didn't care about it anymore. It wasn't about the magic anymore.

The flames slowly started to fade back to a more expected sort of flickering and grew smaller as it did. Merlin stayed quiet again. Gwen reached out again.

"Did you get to tell him?" She asked oh so softly.

His eyes watered and he nodded. Then he started shaking his head no.

"Not the way I wanted to."

Gwen thought about how beautifully the fire had danced in telling Merlin's story. The way that every time Arthur was shown, he was shown as a golden figure of hope and love doing his best to protect and lead his kingdom. It was meant to be Merlin's story, but it was difficult to focus on much besides Arthur and the beauty Merlin painted him with. Even when he killed Freya, her beauty was far from hidden, and the tragedy was not shyed away from, but Arthur was not the villain of the story. He never would be the villain in Merlin's story. And he wanted Arthur to know that. He wanted time to get Arthur to sit down and hear his side of the story. This story full of lies and secrets and pain that some may hear and think it odd that Merlin, with all his power, wouldn't be fighting against Arthur in order to build the world he wanted himself. This story that is so clearly not one of heroes against villains, or rivalry, but above all, a love story. Merlin loves Arthur more than himself. More than magic. More than anything or anyone. That's what he wanted to show Arthur. That's what he wanted Arthur to know.

Merlin's tears fell more forcefully, and Gwen took him in her arms. She let her tears run freely as well.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He gasped through his cries. Gwen didn't need to ask what he was sorry about. Or who he was sorry to. They both knew.

"I'm sorry too." Gwen replied. Because in the end, there's not much else you can say but that.

Eventually, their emotions would settle, and they'd start talking about what to do next. Having magic would no longer be a crime, but there were so few magic users and beings of magic left that there would need to be a serious effort to avoid the extinction of such people and creatures in the long run.

Merlin wasn't sure he was up to that task. It didn't help that if it was revealed to the court that he, specifically, had magic and had been hiding it for years, it would be difficult for anyone to trust him.

But he also simply didn't have faith that he could keep all of magic from dying when he couldn't even keep Arthur from dying.

Gwen didn't want to put so much pressure on him, especially with few to no signs that it would go well. But she would lift the ban on magic. Gaius could help educate people on how magic really works, and they would spread the word that magic does not make something or someone evil. It simply does what all power does and gives people the opportunity to make choices. Sometimes, people just choose to hurt other people.

But some other times, people will instead choose to help people. That's what Gwen will do with her power. Help people. Help her friends. And with time and persistence in this, things will get better, at least in some ways.

Camelot may not last forever. Magic may die out. Their story may not become the greatest legend ever told. It may even be forgotten. But it will have happened. And, in the end, isn't it worth everything, just to say that it happened?

#merlin bbc #ships are hinted at #merthur #gwen x morgana #merlin #arthur pendragon #gwenevere #queen gwen #gwen pov #angst #following the end of season 5 #gwen and merlin grieving together #merlin is not doing well #gwen is the best person ever #the knights of the round table #personal #fanfic #long post #like seriously #this post got long #merlin 15th anniversary #gwen and merlin friendship #mention of soulmates #hurt/comfort #kind of #don't know how much comfort there really is in this #i love this show #i love these characters #one comment made making fun of kilgarrah's cryptic ass #tears

[bbcmerlinvault]

Article: ‘Merlin’ creator reflects on the ‘very sad end’ to the series, talks filming the finale

by Selina W for hypable.com, first published 10:05 am EST February 7th 2013

[Original article]

“Julian Murphy, the creator of Merlin, has finally spoken about the end of the series in a new interview. Read what he has to say about the final episode and the characters’ journeys.

The Hero Complex caught up with Murphy to talk about Merlin, and we’re very glad it did – because apart from his series finale commentary, Murphy and the other producers have been keeping very quiet about the end of the show, and how they made the final decisions.

Anyone who’s seen the finale episode “The Diamond of the Day, Part 2” knows that Merlin did not have a happy ending. Not only did Morgana, Mordred and Gwaine all die, but Arthur himself died in Merlin’s arms – leaving Gwen to bring peace to Albion alone while Merlin was left to wander the world, waiting for Arthur to return and for his destiny to resume.

The decision to end the show with Arthur’s death

In this interview, Murphy acknowledges that, “Yes, it is quite sad,” but at the same time, “it’s quite a sad legend, to be honest, so it’s only a reflection of that.”

He also reveals that their plan had been to kill Arthur all along – even back when the show served as a prequel to the legends as opposed to telling the legends themselves. “What we decided to do was to tell the legend how it was in many ways,” Murphy says. “And I suppose we’re very sad that Arthur had to die, [but] that is a massive part of the legend.”

This was the reason for the final scene, where we see Merlin in the present day. “We tried to sort of soften it and give it a sense of hope that he would one day rise again, and that Merlin even to the present day was waiting for that to happen.”

Guinevere and Morgana’s journeys

Meanwhile of course, Guinevere was left to lead Camelot into the golden age. “We’ve had that in our minds for about three series,” Murphy says. “We felt that to take Gwen from a servant girl to a powerful and strong queen, a person who can bind the kingdom together, was the journey we wanted to do, and I think Angel [Coulby] delivered that brilliantly.”

He also reflects on Morgana’s journey, saying, “the fact that she became bitter and vengeful was a product of circumstance; it wasn’t what she was born as.” They took great care to build up Morgana as a layered character, so that by the end she is, “a villain in every sense of the word, but Morgana is also a complicated, broken, wronged character, and I hope that makes her so much more fascinating and so much more interesting to be with.”

Murphy’s favourite pairing

The interviewer also asks Murphy if he has a favourite pairing in the show, and the answer should surprise no one. “Merlin and Arthur,” he says. “To me, that’s the heart of the program. It’s a story of friendship, it’s both very funny but very touching and very real.”

Reflecting on their journey through the series, he says, “to go from two characters who in many ways in the first series began hating each other to two characters who profoundly respect and care about each other is a great journey. Those simple journeys are always the best, and the heart of the program is not dragons and swords and myths and legends, it’s that story, that friendship.”

Filming the finale

Finally, he reflects on shooting the final episodes, and calls the experience an emotional one. “The worst was shooting the end, which wasn’t actually the last day on set,” he says, because “that was very emotional for everyone. It was actually quite difficult to work on the last story because you’re killing a character you’ve lived with for five years … and going through that with Merlin, that’s an incredibly emotional experience.”

But ultimately, while Murphy acknowledges the tragedy of it all, “there’s also a sense of, this is right. It feels right. If it feels wrong, I think it’s not a very potent experience, but if it feels right, then yes, it’s sad, but it also feels right.”

Having had some time to reflect, what did you think about the way they chose to end the show? Read our review of the finale, which examines the platonic love story of Merlin and Arthur.”

#interview: julian murphy #year: 2013 #article

[softgrungeprophet]

also i'm thinking about character death in my universe again

i don't really have a reason to kill gwen and obviously she is alive in man-spider; i don't plan on changing that, part of the intent was always that she would remain alive and while the reasons for norman targeting her are complex, i do think that peter had a lot to do with it so i don't see norman just randomly trying to kill her in a universe where she is mostly a lesbian lol

harry is the one that i have been continually uncertain about though... mostly because of the soft rule i've mentioned before which is that there is little to no resurrection in this setting except for a couple of unusual circumstances... so thinking about character death is like... a required question of "do i want to make it so that i cannot use this character ever again?" lol so no offing people left and right.

with villains it's less of a problem because there are a lot of villains... and norman and warren are but a drop in the ocean of guys who wanna beat peter up

(tbf i guess this is also true of peter's large circle of friends)

and i like harry and i like him finding peace in like, coffee shop stuff and not being the smartest or strongest but having heart... killing him off feels like it doesn't quite serve that as well as it could in this context (even if TCW does it well) (but again he comes back in 616 so 😅) so i'm not certain that it's the right choice...

CERTAINLY no kindred

i also just think about the ways in which tragedy are kind of integral to spidey as a character and to be fair i do have some elements of that (obv uncle ben dies but also, all of the stuff with warren is very traumatic, eventually aunt may will get old and die too), but it's like... how DO i work with that? what SHOULD happen? i will say after a lot of thinking i'm probably going to off gwen's dad after all, in spite of my distaste for the implications that this is a world-stabilizing event. listen. gotta keep up the streak of killing characters' fathers/father figures. (jk)

am just thinking... beyond peter dying three weeks before his 50th birthday...

#oh my eye is twitching in a weird spot #arghwrites

[gwenivere]

       *    Hi, big fan of Addison here. Are the two girls going on adventures from one of their universes, or both.          ›          anonymous

          first and foremost ,  thank you so much for your message .  knowing you are here from addison , and that you enjoy addi ?  it makes me very , very happy .  : )  as for your question , as i hinted before , it actually wound up being far more complex than what i thought at first glance ?  let me explain a bit in details , since other than being young blondes , addison and gwen don’t have much in common .

as you can see , the two are quite different from one another .  addison lives with her father and grandfather, since her mother passed away when she was born ; gwen has spent her whole life on the run with her mother , and she 'simply doesn't have a father' as she explains in the first episode / book .  gwen's a reincarnation of a mythical queen , whereas addison is thought to be the newest incarnation of one .  when she clearly isn’t , as we all know .  gwen starts her series wary of others, even quite rude towards them at times, but slowly opens up to them and makes friends .  addison starts hers bright and happy, only for it to all come crashing down following nick’s death and turning her into a calculating, cold-blooded killer.  speaking of which , addison kills her enemies with no pity whatsoever , believing they have earned her ire ; gwen always tries to find the most humane solution , and dislikes violence .  gwen is incredibly mature for her age , while addison is immature to a certain extent prior to nick’s murder .   addison would die for her best friend, jessica .  everything she does for the second half of her series is for her sake , and they get along wonderfully .  they only have one real fight throughout the entirety of the comic , and it ends almost as soon as it starts , with addison apologizing and jessica explaining why she is so on edge .  meanwhile , gwen argues with her own best friend , tasha, all the time throughout the series .  granted , some of it can be explained , like tasha helping karen reclaiming the demon possessing her when it leaves her the first time , or gwen neglecting her boyfriend  (  tasha’s brother  )  in favor of another boy .  there is also the fact that Ggen succeeds in her enterprise and successfully puts an end to her own reincarnation cycle, whereas addison has to ascend to godhood and press the reset button on the world , according to m. goodwin’s take on what a second season of tomboy would have entailed .

ergo , i can hardly see the two of them getting along , though chances are their circumstances might bring them together .  unfortunately , both are too consumed in their own sorrow to see the tragedy playing in the other’s life .  but above that , there is also the issue of their respective series  :  gwen is from a 2002 television show that was described by ted hamilton  (  who plays merlin , gwen’s mentor  )  as “buffy , the vampire slayer for high-school kids " .  in reality , the show / novels were more aimed at pre-teens , and the main characters themselves are around that age , all of them fourteen with the exception of michael , who is older by two years .  meanwhile , gwen is from a psychological thriller comic book that was rated by its publisher as t+ , for an audience of seventeen and up .  of course , plenty of younger people have read the comic , but you can tell from the get-go that the world of tomboy is far more violent than that of guinevere jones , and it does have a role to play in my answer .

finally , when it comes to lore , it is easier to insert gwen into the world of addison than the reverse .  indeed , whereas addison’s powers come from the elder branch , gwen’s different  :  the magic in her series surmises that ancient souls revisit the earth in many incarnations, and in many lifetimes .  because they were spawned in a time of magic , these souls have the ability to draw upon the ley lines , streams of energy that have criss-crossed the earth since its creation .  however , part of gwen’s lore can easily be merged with addi’s  :   the magic in guinevere jones finds its roots in the mysterious pre-druidic race that built stonehenge .  some believe these people were the last survivors of the lost continent of atlantic , other that they belonged to a time when gods roamed the earth .  they were ancient souls , even then .  if you catch my drift , then you can see it is easy to make these people the first afflicted , the ones the children of the branch literally descend from .  

what i mean to say is , it is possible for gwen to crossover to addison’s universe and have her own adventures there  (  though i think she’d mostly go against what she refers to in the novels / series as ‘ordinary evils’ , i.e ms. hayes , kathy’s case worker gone rogue  )  but not for addison to travel to gwen’s .  addison is a newborn soul , and as tasha eloquently put it herself , addison would be there alongside her at the “bottom of the magic barrel” .  which would not work for me , as addison’s entire character is built up on the idea of someone having great power but no moral compass to guide them .  gwen , on the other end , would probably make it work , albeit there is also a chance her mother would be amongst those irene inflicted with the ambidrex in an effort to seed more scarlet wings into the city .  if anything , it would lead her to go down a path ressembling the one she originally goes down , though she wouldn’t be a child of the branch in this hypothetical scenario , merely an ordinary girl .  albeit , if karen got infected with the ambidrex prior to gwen’s birth  (  which could happen , as irene arrived in rivergrove when own was a baby , and he is the same age as addi , nick and jessica  )  it would also explain many things .

ergo , here’s my conclusion and the answer to your question  :  i don’t think it’d be possible for them to go on adventures together , as not only are they too different from one another , the tone which i use to describe the environment around them is too different .  however , it would be easier for gwen to join addison in her adventures than the reverse , as putting addison in gwen’s series would fail to live up to the point of addison’s experience .  however , though gwen’s circumstances are better than addison’s , they are quite dark as well for someone her age , and thus i don’t think gwen would accept addison’s help  :  she is already very reticent to get involved with the myers and spencer at the start of her series , and thus unless addison does anything as wild as tasha did  (  which i will detail in another post , tasha was wild and i appreciate her  )  i don’t think they’d ever befriend one another .  : (

#anonymous #answer . #sorry for the wait and for how long this wound up being #but as you can see ... i have a lot to say

[nativehueofresolution]

doctor & river, gwen & mary jane for the duo bingo

under the cut bc this got very long lol

doctor and river

in theory i get the appeal of this ship. i love non-linear storytelling, and a lot of elements of their dynamic (the doctor being attracted to someone but not fully trusting them, having a relationship so devoted it becomes unhealthy) are present in doctor/clara, which as you know is like my gold standard of ships. but for me the execution falls flat in some really frustrating ways.

i really liked the ten and river episodes because the one-sidedness of their relationship was part of the tragedy of the story. even some of the early eleven and river episodes were fun for me - i love the faux older woman/younger man dynamic to their flirting. but the longer the their relationship went on the more i got so frustrated with how cruel and thoughtless the doctor was towards river, who continued to be devoted to him. river's stuck in prison for supposedly murdering him? he takes her out for trips, so what's the big deal! river is clearly distraught the doctor 'put her on a shelf' at the library? he's going to just pretend he can't see her. i enjoy when they argue and river gets to call him out, but the resolution never sticks the landing for me, because the doctor always goes right back to treating her like an afterthought. their last episode is particularly frustrating because it points out many of the ways the doctor did river wrong and shows that she genuinely never believed he really loved her for the majority of their relationship, but it still ends on them as a loving couple with a long last night together, where i suppose we can imagine they worked things out but we don't to see any of that. it's just too much for me, i don't want to see river with someone who doesn't properly value her.

gwen and mj

i adore them with a passion that only comes from having to constantly remind fans and certain creators who want to pit women against one another that these two were dear friends. 💕💕

these two are fun on a lot of levels - i mean first off, their banter is fantastic, and i find friendly rivalry to be a fun dynamic. they also are the right mix of similar (witty, ambitious, and party loving) and different (studious and romantic gwen to free-spirited and rarely serious mj) so as to have really fun back and forth. to me they hit a really nice balance of clearly enjoying one another's company while also being a little competitive for some spice. vitriolic best buds is a fun trope when done right but it can occasionally get too mean spirited, and i never felt like that was the case with gwen and mj. for example the issue with flash's going away party - they both get annoyed when the other one is the center of attention and try to one up each other on the dance floor, but it's also clear there's no real ill will because you also see mj effusively compliment gwen's eye for design and gwen being comfortable enough with mj to have her help with hosting duties. they trade barbs about trying to get rid of one another, but they also hang out on their own all the time. it's cute! and it just makes the serious moments where they do call one another a close friend to be even sweeter.

i also love how mj is just as deeply devastated by gwen's loss as peter is. the way gwen's death reshapes the entire world of spidey is so interesting, and the entire trajectory of mj's journey towards being a more vulnerable and loving person really hinges on how she reacted to losing gwen. aside from her first appearance, mj's most iconic moment - choosing to stay with peter the night gwen dies - comes about because grieving with peter is more important to her than avoiding the pain of relationships. i personally am more interested in them as friends because i really like the idea of showing the multiple ways people grieved gwen - peter as her lover, flash as someone who had unrequited feelings for her, mj as her best friend, harry as someone who grew up with her, etc. totally understand people who want to go in a romantic direction, just not where i go. i like the idea that mj's platonic love of gwen doesn't automatically outweigh her romantic love of peter. sins past is garbage, but i do really like the idea that mj would keep a secret of gwen's from peter even after they were married and gwen was dead because she took her role as gwen's confidant that seriously. 

#ty 💕 #roguestorm

[wilder-fangirl]

no way home spoilers

That look in Tobey's eyes when he's holding Tom's Peter back from killing Norman. He didn't have to say a single word. They both just knew. That look is haunting me it won't leave my mind.

It was so, so important how they did that moment - how Tobey didn't just snatch the hoverboard out of Tom's hands with a web - but rather he could look him in the eyes, look his younger self in the eyes, and stop him from making the same choice that he did. Not just physically stop him but to make him understand, and let him make the choice to let go himself, instead of making it for him.

I love how they really framed Tobey's as the oldest and the wisest. He's had all this time to look back on that choice he made. All this time to think about the things he would have done differently. All this time thinking if he had just known, wishing he could just go back in time and talk to himself, to stop himself. He never thought that one day he would actually get that chance.

That look. That look that won't leave my mind. That look that said you know you shouldn't do this. You know May wouldn't want you to do this. I know the pain it will cause you. I've felt it. I feel it every day. I don't want you to go through what I did. I don't want you to make the same mistake I did. I don't want you to feel the pain that I do. Please. I love you. Please. It didn't help.

And Tom's Peter listens. He makes the choice Tobey's couldn't. His younger self didn't have him to offer him his strength and compassion and wisdom and perspective. Tobey's Peter can never go back in time and save himself, but at least he could save this version of himself. He can go on living, and the pain will fade more and more every day. Whenever he looks back on his younger self at least he'll know, without a doubt, that in another world, there's a version of him that he was able to help. Who didn't make that choice.

(And then Tom's Peter could then do something else that Tobey's couldn't, that being curing Norman, which he said he's been thinking about for years. Even though he was dead he still wished he could go back and help him, and now he was finally able to give him a second chance.)

(And the fact that Tobey says in the very next scene after May dies that ever since he got here he's been trying to find Peter because he feels he needs his help. I know he probably got there earlier but part of me thinks he got there right after or when May died, and he goes through the portal a few hours later. Yes Peter needed him because of the villains but the real reason he needed him was because of May's death and how he was grieving - and how this universe's Peter was going to make the same decision he did if he didn't find him and help him.)

And Andrew. I saw someone else say that he's still grieving Gwen, which is so true. From his conversation with Tobey it sounds like he really just sunk himself entirely into his work as Spiderman in order to, maybe not so much cope but just keep himself occupied to block out the grief.

He thinks about her every day. Sees her falling. Feels the weight of her in his arms again and again and again.

And when MJ fell, every fiber of his being was screaming not again. Not again. Not again.

In that moment, he just saw Gwen. Like he does every day. Only this time it was all too real.

And this time it was different. MJ's Peter couldn't get to her, just like he couldn't get to Gwen. This time he was here. This time he could do something about it. This time there was someone who could spare Peter the pain he lives with every moment of his life.

Maybe when he caught her, for just a split second, it felt like he caught Gwen. He had relived the most horrible moment of his life again. That moment that lived in his mind, that was always there underneath everything else, burning just a little but without end. Then somehow, this time, it ended differently.

The worst thing that happened to Andrew's Peter was a tragedy, but the worst thing that happened to Tobey's was a choice. They're both things that they can never change, but wish they could. They're both things they were able to spare this young version of themselves from. This boy who's full of so much potential and been through so much already. This boy who needed them. This boy who is them.

Obviously this whole movie was about second chances and compassion. You can always give second chances to people, no matter what they've done. You can always start over with them. Everyone except for yourself. You will always know what you've been through and what you've done. And you can be compassionate with yourself, but you can never truly start over. We can never get second chances in life - we can only have them in the eyes of others.

I wish I could go back in time and be there for my younger self. I wish I could help them and guide them. I wish I could protect them. I wish I could save them. I think about it all the time. I think a lot of us do. But in the real world we can't save our younger selves from pain.

Tobey and Andrew were able to fulfill the impossible dream of giving yourself a second chance. Of saving yourself.

I think what this movie was saying was that, as much as we wish we could, we can't start over. You can't give second chances to yourself so that's why it's all the more important that you give them to others - because if we could give ourselves even one moment of the past that could be changed, we would all do it in a heartbeat.

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