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tomriddleslove · 2 months

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Devilish.

✩ Mattheo Riddle x F!Reader

Summary: The one where Mattheo can’t seem to get enough of you, even if you’re ruining him. You’re the only person who keeps him on his toes, and as much as he hates you, he loves the chase. Alternatively: Mattheo is a masochist.

A/N: Two posts in one day? I’m having wayy too much fun with this.

Warnings: Unhealthy relationship, Toxic Behaviour, SMUT MDNI, degradation, choking, p in v!

Songs: Devilish - Chase Atlantic.

Theodore sighs as Mattheo walks into the room, throwing his bag down with a little too much force. Draco’s eyes flicker up from his book, outstretched on his bed as he meets Theodore's eyes with an amused gaze.

“Again?” Blaise hums, not looking up from the potions essay he had been pouring over for the past 4 days. Mattheo huffs a sigh of agreement, fishing around in his pocket for a joint. He places the blunt between his perfectly plush lips, lighting it wordlessly as he takes a deep drag.

“Come on, Mattheo. Surely enough is enough at some point?” Theodore frowns, watching Mattheo with a look of both concern and frustration. Mattheo exhales a cloud of smoke, his gaze distant as he leans back against the wall.

"You know how it is, Theo," Mattheo mutters. "I can't help it."

Theodore shakes his head, resisting the urge to reach out and slap some sense into his stubborn friend as he speaks. "But she's toxic for you, man. You're constantly on edge, always getting pissed off. It's not healthy."

Mattheo's jaw tightens, the muscles working as he takes another drag from the blunt. "I know, I know," he grumbles.

“Why don't you leave her? You could have any girl in the castle,” Draco hums, closing his book.

“To be fair, she really is something else.” Blaise muses, and Draco snickers. Mattheo shoots them both a warning glance and they shut up rather quickly.

“Doesn’t matter. They’re always fighting, and I can't remember the last time a week has gone by without you two breaking up.” Theodore points out, his voice almost exasperated.

Mattheo remains silent for a second, choosing to ignore the way Draco rolls his eyes as he looks at Theodore.

"I can't just leave her," he grumbles, his voice tinged with resignation. "It's not that simple."

Theodore lets out a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumping. "This is beyond pussy whipped. You’re actually just going to let her get to you like that?”

Mattheo shrugs, stubbing out the partially consumed blunt as he pushes himself off the floor.

Before he has the chance to respond, Blaise speaks.

“Enough. Stop with this depressing shit. Go get your shit done and come to Barlow’s party tonight. You need to get drunk, get laid, and get your mind off of her.” Blaise says, getting up from the desk as he crams his work into his bag.

“I’m going to hand this to Snape before he has my balls.” He declares, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

Draco nods in agreement, a smirk playing on his lips. "Yeah, Blaise is right. You need a night out, mate. Forget about her for once."

“Alright alright, whatever,” Mattheo says dismissively, leaving Theodore’s room.

He walks back to his dorm, lost in his own thoughts.

He can't exactly pinpoint where it all went downhill. Perhaps it was doomed from the start. Mattheo remembers the day you first joined, taking a seat next to him in transfiguration. It was extremely odd for a student to transfer so late into the school year but he could only assure you had already been acquainted with the N.E.W.T content beforehand, so it was merely a matter of being in a new environment. You remained silent as the teacher spoke, but the second she set you off on your practical task (transfiguring a toad to a toadstool), you leaned back in your chair, flashing the skin that peeked out from the top of your thigh highs, sent him an impish grin and spoke, your voice sweet like honey.

It was established from that day that the two of you had something going on. It was never an official thing, but you frequented Mattheo’s bed more often than your own, and you certainly weren’t privy to messy makeout sessions in the far corner of the common room. As much as everyone yearned to get their hands on the new girl, Mattheo had swooped in and taken her for himself from day one. It only made you all the more desirable when people realised you were a challenge for Mattheo too.

Usually, all the girls Mattheo got with were pushovers, fawning over him and willing to do anything to get into his good graces. You were the opposite, however, stubborn and headstrong. You led him on and ghosted him. You were hot and cold, all over him one minute then swearing at him the next. You had him wrapped around your finger, and he hated you.

But god, he loved it.

It was always the same story, get together, do something stupid, get into an argument, rile each other up until you hate fuck and then get back together. It was almost monotonous to others, but to Mattheo, it was a sick form of addiction, the highs he felt massively outweighing the toll it was taking on him.

The way you would tease him, push his buttons, drive him to the edge of madness, only to pull him back in with a single glance or touch? It was a vicious cycle, one that left him feeling drained and empty, yet strangely craving more. You were enough to bring any man to their knees, and Mattheo was no different.

He collapses onto his bed, and the faint smell of your perfume has him reeling once more. He can’t tell whether he loves or despises it, but that was the case for many things with you and Mattheo.

As Mattheo lay on his bed, grappling with his thoughts, his phone buzzed with a new message notification. He hesitated for a moment, his thumb hovering over the screen, before finally giving in to the temptation and unlocking his phone.

… : You coming to the party tonight?

Of course, you’d be there. You’d always be there.

Parties were often the main reason the two of you would start fighting. You’d let some guy get too handsy with you, or Mattheo would let girls grind all over him. He even recalls the last time you were straight-up making out with a girl from Ravenclaw right in front of him.

With a resigned sigh, he types out a response.

Mattheo: Yeah, I’ll be there.

He types something out, his finger hovering over the send button. Fuelled by a mixture of hate, pettiness and amusement, he hits send.

Mattheo: You sure you should be going? You cant really handle your alcohol that well darling.

… is typing

… has sent a chat!

… : Funny coming from someone who always seems to stumble out of the party into another girl’s bed.

Mattheo huffs out a laugh, tossing his phone onto his bed as he gets up, and goes to take a shower.

Mattheo navigates the empty corridors of Hogwarts, seemingly silent. As he approaches the Room of Requirement, the sound of music pounding against the walls becomes almost deafening, vibrating through the air like a palpable force. The Ravenclaws certainly were smart buggers, having created a spell that only alerts someone of the noise if they were intended to be there. It's the very same reason Professor Snape billowed past the room mere minutes ago without suspecting a thing.

Pushing open the heavy wooden door, Mattheo is greeted by a wave of heat and energy, the room alive with the pulsating rhythm of the music. Coloured lights flash in time with the beat, casting ever-changing patterns across the faces of the partygoers.

The air is thick with the scent of sweat and alcohol, mingling with the sweet undertones of perfume and cologne. Bodies press together on the makeshift dance floor, moving in sync with the music, lost in the euphoria of the moment.

Mattheo takes it all in with a sense of detachment, his eyes scanning the crowd for familiar faces. He spots Blaise and Draco near the makeshift bar, their laughter echoing over the din of the music as they pass around a bottle of fire whiskey.

He navigates his way through the throng of people, ignoring the roamning hands of random girls as he approaches his friends.

Blaise claps him on the back, offering him the bottle of fire whiskey they had been sharing earlier. Draco flashes him a knowing smirk, raising his own drink in a silent toast to their reunion.

"Good to see you, mate," Blaise says, his voice barely audible over the pounding music. "We were starting to think you'd never show."

Mattheo accepts the bottle with a nod of thanks, taking a long swig of the fiery liquid. The burn of the alcohol sends a shiver down his spine, momentarily distracting him .

"Where's [name]?" Mattheo asks, his voice betraying a hint of curiosity mixed with resignation.

His friends exchange uneasy glances, their expressions shifting with a mixture of sympathy and discomfort.

Theo clears his throat, his gaze flickering towards the dance floor. "She's over there," he says, his voice tinged with a hint of apprehension.

Mattheo follows his friend's gaze, his jaw clenching as he catches site of you.

Dressed in a tight corset top that left little to the imagination and a short skirt, you threw your head back, letting the guy behind you run his hands all over your body as you dance to the rhythm.

The lights flash over the dance floor, illuminating you in a way that makes you seem dangerously alluring. Even in such a position where Mattheo hates you, he can’t help but feel drawn in by you.

Like a siren of sorts, beckoning him with your call to his untimely demise, he stood no chance.

Mattheo's grip tightens around the bottle of whiskey, his knuckles turning white as he watches you dance with the other guy. A surge of anger rushes through him, clouding his already hazy mind.

Without a second thought, Mattheo drains the rest of the whiskey in one swift motion, before slamming the bottle down with a force that has Lorenzo and Blaise exchanging wary looks.

Pushing through the crowded dance floor, Mattheo makes his way towards you, his jaw set in determination. As he approaches, he can hear the faint sound of your laughter mingling with the music, only further fuelling his anger.

The guy dancing with you leans in, pressing his lips to your neck in a possessive gesture that sets Mattheo's blood boiling. In a fit of rage, he reaches out, grabbing the guy by the collar and pulling him away from you with a forceful shove.

The guy stumbles back, caught off guard by Mattheo's sudden aggression. Before he has a chance to react, Mattheo's fist connects with his jaw in a swift, punishing blow.

The guy staggers backwards, clutching his jaw in pain as he glares at Mattheo with shock . Without a word, he lunges forward, fists flying as the two of them fight.

Mattheo fights with the intent to kill, delivering blow after sickening blow till the sound of crunching is reduced to nothing. His knuckles burn, his own blood mixing with the blood of the poor tosser who was trying to make a move on you.

“Mattheo, enough!” Theo snaps, drawing Mattheo out of his trance-like state as he pulls Mattheo off the boy. He’s practically unresponsive on the floor, groaning as he clutches his face. By this point the room is near silent, the crowd completely parted to leave Mattheo, Theo, Blaise, the boy and you.

Mattheo looks up at you and he can tell you are furious. Without saying a word you grab him by the scruff of the shirt, dragging him outside. He stumbles after you as you pull him along, your steps firm and assured as you practically haul him back to his room.

You push him through the door, slamming it behind you as you turn to face him. He opens to mouth to speak but is cut off when you meet him with a swift slap to the face, his head jerking to the side.

“You fucking prick.” You snap, thrusting your hand into the curls at the nape of his neck as you smash your lips onto his.

Mattheo stumbles back, caught off guard by the force of the slap and the sudden intensity of the kiss. His head reels, pain and desire coursing through his veins. His hands instinctively reach out, gripping your waist tightly as he pulls you closer, deepening the kiss with a raw hunger.

His lips move against yours with a desperate need, the taste of firewhiskey and blood creating a heady mix that drives you mad.

Mattheo's hands roam your body, groping your ass with a firm squeeze as he presses you against the door, eliciting a small whimper from your lips.

You retaliate by tugging at his curls, biting his lower lip with a small grin amidst the kiss. You lap up the blood, and the action has Mattheo lifting you up and throwing you onto his bed before you can even comprehend it.

His hands move lower, slipping under your skirt, caressing your thighs with a possessive touch. He can feel the wetness between your thighs, driving him to the brink of madness.

Mattheo breaks the kiss, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he looks into your eyes, dark with desire and anger. "You hate me," he mutters, his voice laced with arousal. "But I can feel how much you want me."

Mattheo's fingers graze the edge of your panties, teasingly tracing the outline before slipping underneath, feeling how wet you were. He smirks at the pathetic whimper that escapes your lips, his eyes gleaming with a mixture of triumph and lust.

“You’re fucking soaked.” He murmurs, one hand coming down to undo his belt as he thrusts his two fingers into your mouth, causing you to gag.

“Taste how fucking needy you are for me.” He growls, throwing his belt to the side as he tugs his jeans down.

You suck on his fingers obediently, partly terrified yet incredibly turned on as you look up at him. You pull off with a wet pop, biting your lower lip as Mattheo groans.

He teases your slit with the tip of his cock, eliciting a low moan from you as he aligns with your entrance.

In one swift thrust he fills you up to the brim, paying no mind to your gasps as he sets a punishing pace. His fingers dig into the flesh of your hips, surely leaving marks as his hips snap into you with a ferocity that has your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

“Fu- Fuck. ‘s too much.” You babble, back arching off the bed as your hands fly up to grasp onto Mattheo. Your nails dig into his shoulders, a plethora of whimpers escaping your lips. You felt as though he was splitting you open with every rock of his hips, sending you hurtling towards your climax embarrassingly quickly.

Mattheos lips curl into a wicked grin, his tone taunting as he speaks.

“This is what you wanted, wasn’t it? Grinding all over that prick just because you needed me to fuck you.” He taunts.

His hips continue to move with an unyielding rhythm, each thrust hitting a sweet spot within you that sends shockwaves of pleasure coursing through your body.

He leans down, nipping and kissing at the skin of your neck as he trails open mouth kisses down your décolleté.

His hands roam your body, gripping your breasts roughly, yanking your top off.

“Ah- Mattheo,” You gasp, nails scratching down his back as mascara streaks down your cheeks. The sound of skin slapping against skin is positively sinful, and the sight is heavenly to Mattheo.

“Shit-“ Mattheo grunts, a low groan escaping his lips as his free hand comes down to massage your clit in light circles. His other hand ghosts the expanse of your neck, giving it an experimental squeeze. “Squeezing me so tightly. Gonna cum f’me?” He murmurs, a sadistic grin on his face.

You feel the familiar coil knotting in your stomach, groaning lowly as you wrap your legs around Mattheo.

“Close,” You manage to choke out, overwhelmed by pleasure. You can’t focus on anything but the feeling of Mattheo’s cock dragging against your walls with every thrust, sending you into a haze. His thrusts become sloppier, and you know he’s close too.

He growls in response to your desperate admission, his own desire reaching its peak as he feels your walls clenching around him. He quickens his pace, his thrusts becoming more erratic and desperate.

With each thrust, Mattheo can feel the pressure building within him, the tension coiling tighter and tighter.

"Fuck," he groans your name, his voice filled with lust. He wipes a tear from your cheek using his thumb before forcing that same thumb into your mouth, a devilish grin on his face as he does so.

His grip on your neck tightens, his fingers digging into your skin possessively. The mixture of pleasure and pain pushing you both closer to the edge of release.

“Fuck, Mattheo!” You moan, the coil snapping as you reach your peak. Your body convulses beneath him, clenching around him tightly as you practically ascend to the heavens and back.

“Shit- What a sight.” He mutters, thrusting into you a few more times before his hips stall, finding his own release. He buries himself deep inside you, a groan escaping his lips as he squeezes your hips ever so slightly tighter.

You whimper at the loss of contact as he pulls out, collapsing next to you with a small sigh. He mutters a cleaning charm, ridding you of the sticky feeling between your thighs as you use what little strength you have left to move and rest your head on his chest.

His heart is pounding, still coming down from his high as he reaches over to his bedside table. He places a cigarette between his lips, the flame from the lighter illuminating the side of his face for a second. You admire the defined contours of his jaw, and the scatterings of purple and red that trail down his neck.

He wraps an arm around you, taking a drag of his cigarette as you look up at him. You pluck the cigarette from him, taking a drag yourself before passing it back.

Merlin, you were a horrible person but an addictive thing.

@schaebickel @multifandom-worlds @mildlyuninformative @lillywildly @gillyweeds @anti-hero03

#slytherin #slytherin boys #tom riddle #harry potter #draco malfoy #lorenzo berkshire #slytherin boys fic #theodore nott #blaise zabini #pansy parkinson #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheoxreader #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle smut #mattheo smut #slytherin smut

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serendippertyy · 5 months

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I. need. more. ineffable. bureaucracy. hcs.

Please :)

had a very lazy day today so I spent wayy too much time on this doodle heehee :^)

I think they switch back and forth from living in space to living on earth cause they have an affinity for laying around consuming junk food and watching weird human movies 🤭

#yes gabriel has a full wardrobe and bee has exactly one outfit that they rot in #good omens #good omens 2 #archangel gabriel #lord beelzebub #boxfly #ineffable bureaucracy #my art

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prince-liest · 18 days

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I’m a sex-repulsed ace, and reading the latest chapter of 666 (as well as your analysis here on Tumblr) made me realize that I have been subconsciously thinking about MY OWN sexuality from an allo perspective? And that it has kinda been messing me up?? Like, ever since I learned that sexual attraction was actually a Thing and that it’s Important To People, I had been carrying around a fear of being deficient in some way and not being able to love to the same extent as allos. (1)

Even though I know logically that’s complete garbage and totally untrue, I felt left out of the loop because people seemed to care strongly about this thing I couldn’t even imagine. Whenever it looked like a relationship might happen I panicked for a reason that I couldn’t understand. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s because I was subconsciously terrified of an ‘ulterior motive’ behind the other person’s reasons for wanting to be with me. (2) That part of the reason they even cared was because of something I don’t experience. So thank you, because this realization just clicked into place while reading your work. The thing is, this way of thinking was just internalized in such a way that I didn’t even realize it was there until literally this week. And I think you’re right; one of the main reasons behind that is because I’ve always consumed media written from an allo perspective. (3) If ace/aros are shown at all, they’re depicted as “lacking” and their character development usually revolves around being “fixed” by the story. When I was ~10 years old my mom sometimes let me watch the Big Bang Theory with her (looking back, maybe not the best decision). Anyways, there was one episode deep into the series where Sheldon (who for the past nineish seasons was probably the closest thing to mainstream ace rep) has sex with his girlfriend for the first time. (4) Afterwards, he says something along the lines of “that was better than I thought it would be”, and it’s presented as a Very Good Thing and a big step in their relationship. I think a lifetime of stuff like that makes it very easy to internalize aphobia and feel like the lesser part of the relationship. Or to feel like the other partner is making a huge sacrifice to be with you. That got wayy too long, sorry. All that was just a lot of words to say that I appreciate you. Take care of yourself!(5)

The portrayal of asexuality that you see in media being almost exclusively as you described is very tedious to me because it presumes that something is inherently lacking in aro/aceness rather than that feeling of "lacking" being something that is induced by societal norms. Actually, one of the things that I find additionally alienating is that fandom spaces specifically have been getting better and better about ace characters - but got damn does fandom not jive with aromanticism. Like, a character doesn't want to fuck? That's becoming a liiiittle more fine, it's 2024, we stan consent. But not shipping someone romantically?? Not so easy, now.

I'm glad that my work has been something that resonated with you in this respect! Alastor cares a lot about his reputation as a demon but is pretty blatantly a person who could not possibly give less of a shit about being "wrong" for not being experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. The explanation Viv gave at one point for his own understanding of himself (that he thinks he's just "waiting for the right woman") actually stuck out to me a lot because it's a very "well, nothing is wrong with me for not feeling anything, it's the world that's failed to produce a suitable person" perspective.

But having that kind of confident perspective of your own rightness in the world is really not often portrayed in media, or even in fandom, which even ten years ago was still in the throes of standardizing "Oh, no! Me, gay? These feelings are so wrong!" style m/m content and is honestly not that far off from essentially that for aro/ace characters.

Anyway, all of that is to say that there's not yet much out there that doesn't frame allo/amatonormative values as the default that "even aro/ace people can (and should want to) achieve," and that it's really fun to write a fic that is unequivocally from the perspective of a character who is aroace and doesn't see it as even remotely a fault in himself. Does he have moments where he's a little confused and trying to process how things fit for him? Absolutely. But he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who thinks he owes romance to Vox of all people, hahaha. I've written him trying to conform to allo/amatonormativity more with Mimzy, because I think the social standards of their time could push him into it, but Vox? Absolutely not, he does not respect Vox enough for it to even enter his mind.

And then, on the other hand, writing it from an aroace perspective centers the way that romantic and sexual interest can feel like a betrayal of a good thing. With a character like Alastor, it frames romantic and sexual attraction the same alien way that we usually see aromanticism and asexuality framed as.

In the end, this is just one of a plethora of different experiences that aro/ace people can have, but it's one that I really wanted to see represented more, so I'm very happy to write it. I'm glad that you're enjoying it!

#ask #personal #Anonymous #long post #t #aroace #ace #he cares about Vox at this point!#but that's. not really the same as respecting him.#anyway this next chapter is important to me because it's very #how do I put this #“this was okay at the moment but that doesn't mean he's okay with it overall and forever”#“and it does not mean that they've 'progressed' their relationship to the point where Alastor being aroace is a 'nonissue'”#“(feat. ofc the heavy implication that it was an issue in the first place)”#ANYWAY. SOMETIMES I HAVE A HARD TIME EXPRESSING THIS IN NON-FIC WORDS #SO HOPEFULLY THE FIC AS IT CONTINUES SPEAKS FOR ME. I AM GLAD THAT IT HAS SPOKEN TO YOU SO FAR <3 THANK YOU!!#sexuality #my writing #hazbin hotel #this is a hot button topic atm and it took me a minute to write a reply #that didn't seem like it invited discourse lmfao #actually I still feel weird posting my opinion this strongly oops OH WELL

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petite-gloom · 6 months

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Hi Megan, if I remember correctly one of the dots in your tagging system is special interests right?

Two quick questions if you don’t mind answering them: what are your special interests (from your videos I’ve seen sherlock holmes, cassettes, and skateboarding but I’m just curious bc I constantly feel like I have wayy too many microwaving in my brain at any given time) and do you use special interests and hyperfixations interchangeably? Or if not what would be the difference?

my special interests are sherlock holmes, spooky things, notebooks/journals and commonplacing. i have other interests that sometimes start to tip into the territory, but mostly they're just things i like a lot- skateboarding, music (cd's), etc. i don't always talk about my special interests a lot because i feel v personally about them, so the stuff im oversharing isn't always a good indicator lol

special interests and hyper fixations are different- i often hyper fixate when i get into something new, but it usually feels a little draining rather then recharging like interacting with a special interest feels. more and more recently i almost dread the hyper fixations because i feel like i have so little control over them and they eat up so much of my brain space. special interests are something i look to when im stressed or when i need comfort. they're things i've been carrying with me throughout my life and make me feel better, more solid, when i interact with them. sometimes i hyper fixate on them but it doesn't usually hurt as much as when i accidentally step into the cartoon trap of a random hyper fixation. i usually have a little more control over the special interest ones- like being able to channel it into a zine or something like that. other hyper fixations consume me but burn up very quickly.

i don't know if any of that makes sense, but that's how it feels for me. i have a lot of interests that come and go, i often fixate for a time on video games when im playing them, and sometimes i start to wonder if they're becoming special interests but ultimately my main three have been around for decades each and feel very different. im not sure what the overlap with other stuff is- fleeting special interests are lovely but different for me on a quiet, personal level.

hope that helps somehow

#answers #filed under a for autism

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megumi-fm · 3 months

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this week on megumi.fm ▸ coding and coffeeshops

📋 Tasks

💻 Internship ↳ lab meet!!! got to learn about the other projects in the lab ↳ got work from home approved!! ↳ optimize protein seq code // account for missing residues ✅ ↳ add on a binding site identifier function for code using 4.5A distance threshold ✅ ↳ optimize binding site code // reducing time complexity for large PDB file inputs ✅ ↳ download and extract alphafold human protein repository and analyze pdb file formats ↳ set up progress tracker and upload code on colab ✅ 🎓 Uni ↳ Final Project: update images quality according to changes mentioned ✅ ↳ renew uni email for extra credit classes ✅ ↳ extra credit classes started this week! 🩺Radiomics Projects ↳ call with teammates to discuss next steps ✅ 📧 Application-related ↳ finished masters application form for 1/1 Uni (waiting on my referee reports) ✅ ↳ finalize referee report from my profs ✅

📅 Daily-s

🛌 consistent sleep [7/7] 💧 good water intake [5/7] 👟 exercise [5/7]

Fun Stuff this week

🍻 met up with my bestie @muakrrr <3 it was a stressful tuesday so meeting him for lunch was super comforting! he bought this cute purple drink and I got myself some ginger ale and the waiter served us the wrong drinks (gender and expectations something something) and it was amusing to watch them get confused when we corrected them 🎂 mom's b'day this week!! went out for dinner with her!! 🛒 went shopping with relatives who I haven't seen in years. bought myself a book! (rip my bookshelf) ☕ went out for coffee and dinner with my girlies (the same besties who I exchanged mugs with). we're trying to spend as much time together as possible before we leave to different countries for our masters 🎮 continuing the beginner's guide 📺 ongoing: Marry my Husband, Cherry Magic Th, Last Twilight 📺 binged: KinnPorsche The Series

📻 This week's soundtrack

Love Wins All by IU (been crying over this music video for days now. it's beautiful) KinnPorsche theme by Slot Machine: Kinn's theme [aka Phiang Waichai; TH] | Porche's theme [aka Free Fall; Eng] (first of all this is one of the catchiest theme songs to exist second only to SPECIALZ aka the JJK s2 op i'm also particularly losing my mind over how the two themes are love letters to the main characters from each other... the narrative parallels of it all are driving me insane sldkhlaksjkshs) Dum Dum by Jeff Satur + the Live Unchained version where his vocals are heavenly (maybe im so drawn to this song because the chorus is similar to the melodic motifs of the KPTS themes/soundtrack, either way, the show introduced me to him and god. I've been voraciously consuming his discography.) Ghost by Jeff Satur (on repeat all week. thoroughly obsessed with this song- the lyricism, his voice, the storyline in the MV, his acting, everything. wow. truly.)

---

[Jan 22 to 28 ; week 4/52 || I. love. my. internship. like. I have been having the most fun time problem solving and troubleshooting. it's also super satisfying to see the outcome of my code. it's been a while since I used python (I've been coding on C) so I forget that python has a lot of inbuilt functions that would do the same tasks I inadvertently entrust my nested loops with, and finding out about them is always so joyous (although it means I have to scrap off several chunks of code). i am a bit annoyed though, because the other intern isn't really doing any work that we're entrusted with so I'm having to carry the team and it's taking me too much time. but oh well. I've suggested we split tasks from next week, hopefully that'll make things better.

I've also been procrastinating a lot when it comes to my masters applications and it really hit me this week when I had to run to uni several times to get things approved and completed. Now that I'll get to work from home I need to set up a proper schedule to get application work completed wayy in advance. also need to resume my GRE prep from next week.]

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ccarrot · 7 months

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Everytime you mention your skk batman crossover I'm sitting there like this:

YEAH THATS MEE TOO, Batman is one of my all time no.1 BIGGEST hyperfixations. I've been obsessed with B:TAS and Lego Batman since i was a kid i got into the actual comics in middle school i was in the trenches during lockdown i was around for freaking URBAN LEGENDS #6 i sorta fell off around last year bc ... well i dont really KNOW WHY some other things consumed my mind.

But BSD has been my number one since.. like a year ago last October when i began it!!!! I lOVE crossovers smmm. Do you guys know i have a ninjago-evangelion crossover au too?? If you go through carrotkicks 'ninjagelion au' tag you might have fun heheheh.

ANYWAYS i love chuuya. I love Batman. I think chuuya would make an awesome vigilante hehe. Dazai will also get a chance in the less traumatizing place in the dark when he pulls up to Gotham a couple months later. It'll be a lot different from Yokohama too so my boys will be wayy out of their depth. For one, the villains in Gotham aren't abiilty users, they're like mutants, so their supernatural/ scifi attacks will actually be a threat to Dazai. He'll need to get a little tougher ;) Chuuya on the other hand is going to have to start leaening how to manage a double life and be more strategic (in a different way) He's got calamity powers locked in him and the rogues have paychological warfare on their side right? So how will he learn to face that?

#ahh i rambled #im really getting obssessed with it.#ill get obsessed with any skk au i make.#ask #skk in gotham au

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slonechnik · 15 days

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Yooooo. If you got time, I wanna see your Disco Elysium side character tier list too 👀

i did have time, and spent wayy to much time pondering categories??

some characters at the very top i maybe dont Love but i do think about them a lot which i think is more impactful than just simply liking them a lot? hence its at the top

making tier lists is?? surprisingly time consuming??

#riemblings #liable to change depending on my mood if were honest #asks #answers

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stagnant-stale · 5 months

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Saw @bhaaltemple doing this and hopped on

Three ships

Jinkei/HawksTwice

Garrus/Shepherd

Milly/Meryl

Last film

Sergeant Stubby. Was visiting my parents house and my sisters were watching it. Tonally strange kids movie.

Currently watching

Caved and started watching jjk on weekends with a friend. It’a pretty good? IMO it’s wayy more enjoyable if you’re watching it with a buddy. I also started the Ashoka series but dropped it.

Currently reading

Still following with mha as it updates, and trying to find the time to finish reading Trigun Maximum (there’s too much anime on this sobs)

Currently consuming

Im gonna go make a everything bagel after this

Currently craving

I want a nestea and a&w fries so badly

Chill tags feel free to ignore: @applesoda17 @snaggz @pastelle-rabbit and anyone who sees this

#stale ramble #stale game #idk #tag game

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kpophubb · 1 year

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Hello my precious Mia❣

I haven't heard from you in so, so long and I miss you so much. I hope you're ok and doing well.

I hope wherever you are in life and whatever it is that you're doing, you're genuinely happy. A soul as beautiful and pure as yours deserves to feel true, genuine happiness as often as possible. Please remember that I'm always here for you no matter what and I will always be someone you can call a friend.

I love you :(

- Bri❣❣

Hi bri!!🥺😭🫶🏻💛 my sunshine!! I was gone for so long and didn’t fully come back on here yet but gosh I missed you so much and couldn’t stop thinking about all my friends here esp you!

tmi- I mean.. you knew I’ve been talking to you since last year so excitedly how I wanted to move countries for my studies!!🥹 and I worked so hard for it and finally did it but like…yk a lot of bad things happened and my education agency actually scammed around $ 15000 and also messed up all my application documents.. and I found out about it after I came here? It was so stressful, everyday was filled with panic attacks and constant prayers to fix everything..and it was admist ramadan too so I was fasting on top of all this stress. It kinda affected my mental and physical health a lot💔

And then all of a sudden life got so hectic, that issue kinda got resolved and living alone all by myself while studying medicine and surgery in uni with shit ton of assignments, exams, lab practicals and lectures to study actually consumes all of my time and I can barely find time to sleep! >:( communication is hard for me atm bc I can’t find the time (to even call my parents sometimes😭) so I’ve been away from tumblr for so long! And I’m waiting for my break to come so I can come back here and post and answer asks and everything but my break is a long wayy and before that I have to go through so much more as my exams are also coming up.

don’t worry, my kindest sunshine, I’m happy nonetheless. This is all I wanted and I’m working hard everyday for a dream I had in my heart since the day I learned to dream. :’)💕 to be independent, admirable, kind and someone worthy who can make herself proud!! I miss you and love you so much and IM TERRIBLY SORRY FOR BEING A FRIEND ATM WHO CANT BE THERE TO TALK TO YOU AS MUCH😭

know that I will always love you the same, know that I’ll never forget all the love, support, encouragement you’ve given me and know that even if we are reborn in another lifetime, I’ll come back to you and find you and be friends with you again just to love you and take care of you. That’s how much you mean to me bri!!💘

I hope you’re healthy, happy and sleeping well!! (Pls sleep well I hope your insomnia is getting better now) *big tight hugs* and kisses to my precious girl.

#mia’s asks #stay 💌#bri 💛

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jeonqkooks · 7 months

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*quietly slides the door open* so what's new?? 👀

Heh, sorry I couldn't help myself and not say a few thing on MY FAVORITE BLOG ON TUMBLR ㅋㅋ Sooo 3D... I think we've been so spoiled by the tannies all these years that the moment western musicians are making a song with one of the boys it just sooo obvious, idk how to put it ... but as overall quality on a scale from 1 to 100, while bangtan's music (both group and solo) is 90 something to 100, songs like 3D are like an 8 😶 and it's not even the fact that it's explicit, it's just sounds eh. (I liked Seven more too)

I've seen so many people pressed about the fact that some don't like the og version with Jack and I'm like "????" As long as they're not straight up hating everyone should be allowed to like/dislike whatever they want, if sth really makes them uncomfortable they can always choose not to listen, it's not that big of a deal. We don't have to call anyone a prude or some other stuff I've seen for not liking a song 💀 and if we're being honest almost 90% of western music nowadays has something to do with sex so it's understandable that we're fed up with that.. and about the lyrics.... I won't even go there 😅 I have an entire playlist of sexy songs that have wayy better lyrics and vibe.

Anyways, we indirectly promised the boys that we're good with whatever they choose to put out, freedom i guess, however we might not always be in sync and that's okay. I'm sure they're aware that everyone has different tastes. There will be many years ahead of us, to do and try a variety of things. Once everyone accept this fact, it'll all fall into place.

Again, so sorry that you always have to listen to our rambles, Jen 😂 buy yourself something nice today so you won't get too stressed!

- 🎃

favorite blog asdfhkhfkas PUMPKIN 😭

an 8 lolllll i had to reread that to see if you meant an 8 on a scale of 1-10 but nope it's 1-100 😂 that's a fair assessment. i'll just say this as it is. basic pop and western collabs have little substance but they're easy to top charts, easy to rake in numbers, easy to push for awards (cough, grammys 😑) which seems to be what hybe is doing rn with jk. i guess they're succeeding so... good for them?

this fandom is so quick to tear people apart for not kissing the ground that the boys walk on lol. it's literally just music. tastes are subjective. what's not clicking? coming after someone just bc they don't like a song is dumbass behavior lol i'm sorry. wait till you hear that i haven't listened to seven since july 15 (it was released on july 14) 🤣 i'm sure there are people out there who wanna bring back the guillotine just for me

yes that's true. the boys can release any kind of music they want, but we as listeners - literal consumers - don't have to vibe with it. it's not mutually exclusive. not liking something they do / not liking a song does not and should not make you public enemy no.1 lol

pls i am always open to discourse! 🤣 i love hearing your different thoughts and opinions instead of just uniformed, robotic screaming all the time. i usually have a lot to say too hahahhaha i just don't wanna do it unprompted 😂

#🎃 anon #answered

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draculagerard · 11 months

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the one time i left a fandom, i kind of just. ditched my entire blog 😵‍💫 granted, i wasn't specifically trying to leave the fandom, it was moreso the stress of the blog itself, but what i ended up doing was not posting about it anymore while finding ways to consume content about it on my own (writing fic, rereading the series) and then slowly weaning myself off of it. i also found one friend completely separate from it so i could rant to them about whatever (be it the fandom or the media itself, if i wanted to get it out of my system) when i needed to. the biggest part was interacting with it on my own terms, and then slowly not interacting with it at all.

since you said it's a sideblog, it should make it more simple if you wanted to stop blogging or delete it, or you could post an explanation that you're leaving it before ditching it. it depends on what you wanna do! anyways, best of luck <3

Okay perfect that's the plan!!! I'm not deleting my sideblog because i DO have a shit ton of art there this past year that I made that I dont want to lose so I'll just kinda go inactive. As for consuming content, honestly i dont even know if i WANT to. I dont even like the show man,,, i was in it for 1 character and it all went wayy too far. Didnt mean to get this involved. But yes good advice I'll definitely mention I'm archiving it. That way I'll have to commit to it instead of just posting anyways

#moose asks #timothy #THANK YOU <3

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civettea · 1 year

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I think the last time I did one of these was probably like 5 years ago on deviantart sjhfgdjh. I got tagged by @meitantei-lavi

1. three ships: Oh man I get to embarrass myself immediately. Al-an/Robin has been floating in my brain for like a year and a half now so them ofc. Fusehound!! Because them!! And since I've gotten back into undertale recently I've been thinking about Soriel again sfhgjghjfh

2. first ship: FUNNY ENOUGH I think it was also pokemon, I used to watch whatever episodes were available online at the time when I was like 7 so I think rocketshipping was my first.

3. currently listening: Well right now Undercover Martyn by Two Door Cinema Club but I've listened to Rolling Girl a ridiculous amount in the past few days because the bass is pretty simple but REALLY fun to do >:O

4. last movie: Puss in boots the last wish oh god that movie is SO GOOD. The animation is phenomenal, the voice acting is amazing, and the story itself is very well done.

5. currently reading: So I'm ashamed to admit I haven't actually sat down and read an actual book in probably a solid year. All I've really read in the past year is stuff for class and a lot of different fanfics for a bunch of different things, including listening to the audiobook fr Blue Sky for the hundredth time. Actually!!! I think @meitantei-lavi's TLOW would actually count as a novel in this case so I think that's the only original novel Ive read recently sjghfgfd

6. currently watching: Most of the shows I watch now are things I manage to binge in a couple of days, so Sonic Prime and The Owl House are the most recent that Ive gone through on my own, though I've been watching so much sailor moon with @meitantei-lavi, plus chainsaw man

7. currently consuming: An everything bagel with wayy too much cream cheese and iced coffee.

8. currently craving: I have been thinking about fried pickles for months now and I still haven't gone and gotten any >:I

People I'd like to get to know better: How do people even have 9 friends on here?? Most of the people I follow are artists lmao, so I'll just tag @a-little-bisexual-moron & @ashflamethewaffleangel (I could've sworn I was following you) + anyone else who feels like doing this

#oh my god that was so much

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rainswept · 2 months

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i’m not really interactive. i like to consume content and move on. it's easier just to get my instant gratification and keep myself from being perceived in any way because it makes me nervous. but even though i don't make use of tumblr’s basic functions, in my mindless haze i still remember feelings, words, and sometimes, urls too.

when i see “rainswept” i think of lyney. i feel like that's self explanatory, via the tag for lyney x reader, i found your blog. to be honest the first few times i came across your work i scrolled past it. wasn't really interested, wanted something shorter. but one morning, i was on the hunt again and actually sat down to read a fic from your account. it took me a while to process it after, and i was very distracted for the rest of the day. weeks later, still thinking about it, the words going from my head to a pit in my stomach that nothing seemed to satisfy. and then, strangely, i found myself looking up “rainswept” more and more often to reread instead of refreshing the daily “lyney x reader”

i dont know what model of brain you have, but it's great

your writing was not the idle comfort i was used to. it hurt to read, but it hurt worse to be without. i wanted to stay with my personal image of a flirty guy who's just that. flirty. easier to digest. i couldn't.

the way you described lyney in the few works i saw took my soft hand and shoved it into a hot fire of angst. longing. fire that rises, but also falls and churns like the sea. wholly consuming in its warpath. it did not let me keep that image of lyney. in fact, the tides of rising flame tore it away from me. burned it. because there's wayy more to be said about him and how he sees the world than who he falls in love with (“curtain call” is my roman empire)

absolutely crazy idea to me at the time. wow, imagine characters having actual feelings??? wtf. to be described so viscerally, picked apart by language and left crumpled amongst the carnage of your own being on a fandom page is to be loved. i want to love the way you do

so, to me, “rainswept” is the url that introduced me to really passionate interpretations of characters i like and the beauty of prose that holds you as if it were a lingering chill on the darkest of nights. i don't think i would be nearly as interested in trying to understand characters for who they are beyond romance without your work.

“rainswept” taught me how to love a character

it could have happened eventually with someone else's blog, but it was yours. through looking at your blog and the things you repost (v fun tags, by the way), i even found others i like too. (wow, it's almost like i’m discovering how the internet works!!!) you've indirectly taught me how to appreciate nuances in writing. now, i can proudly say my taste has definitely developed away from the 2018 wattpad era

that's pretty cool. character development for me i guess? i still have a long way to go before i can understand everything in my own way, but i’m learning. today was another one of those days where your url came to mind, it's been a while. i was more than happy to follow my whim

anyways! that's all, just thought i'd share. it's my first time sending an ask (´;︵;`) i had a lot to say, and i think i still have a lot to say, but i’m sure you know the difficulties of putting feelings into words. i wanted to make sure i expressed what i could before i lost the confidence to say anything at all

thank you for sharing your writing and silly thoughts, tumblr user rainswept

P.S. i would be sad if rain actually sweeps you off your feet, which is why i also offer an umbrella—in case the weather ever becomes too harsh. be safe, dude ☂️

long post i’m putting it under a read more

what in the WORLD anon. PH:WIYbpiHWbpi,HIDDNFLWUIEBFLIHABCKUGASVCKHVSEKUHBRWLUHBGW J,H?/?/?//

GOOD LORD i think something in me literally shattered with this ask. i am SHAKing TREMBLING EVEN i cannog even get a full BREAATH in i;m LOSING MY MIND

this ask is literally the reason i made my blog. the reason i ever posted to begin with. my writing ever being seen like this was my ultimate goal. if there was anything i’ve ever wanted it was this. to move people, to change their minds, to get them to see things beyond their outward appearances — and i guess i’ve achieved that because. oh my god.

i don’t know how to do this ask justice anon. i saw it and if i was standing i think i would have fallen over. you say my prose is beautiful yet yours left me breathless. seriously, not just because it being directed towards me meant so much but also just the quality of it. i understand not wanting to present yourself publicly on tumblr, but i think you are an amazing writer and if you ever did i’d be your first follower. i would read all of the writing of yours i could get my hands on. so if you have ever had any inkling to do that, do it. you only live once (and i’d go feral for it)

speaking of writing. aside from just writing because i want to, my whole mission of sorts on here is to change how people view characters. i know i can’t alter everyone’s perception — if they think someone like lyney is just flirty snd nothing more, they’re usually going to continue thinking that — but to know that i’ve had even one person change their mind on even one character is .. astounding. not even to mention changing how someone views characters as a whole? indirectly causing someone to look deeper into them, to analyze them closer, to pick them apart like you said, to feel more when reading about them? that’s absolutely insane (positive). i will never be the same after this actually.

i write to feel, and i write to make others feel, even emotions i or they may not want to. i like digging deep into characters, into pain and sadness, because i’ve always noticed that stories that hurt stay with me longer. they make me think and think and i keep going back to them. and they may not make me feel better, but i like it anyway because, to me, what is the point of reading if it isn’t going to stick with you? what is the point of feeling if, as soon as you pry your eyes away from the pages, the emotion fades with the ink?

to know that you kept thinking about my writing, then kept coming back, and that i altered the way you view characters is. crazy to me. absolutely crazy. despite desiring it so deeply, i never thought i’d have that effect on someone else.

maybe i changed how you view characters and writing, but you continue to give me the motivation to continue doing so. and actually both are so valuable to me. to know i have moved someone enough for them to send an ask like this. i don’t know how to put into words how much this,,, affected me?? i could honestly die peacefully right now. like this is all i’ve ever wanted.

“i want to love the way you do” i think you do. i think you have. i think to send an ask like this it may take more of it. this may have not been your intent or expected outcome but this has genuinely moved me. so so much.

“rainswept taught me how to love a character” oh my GOD.

i’m so glad you did have the courage to send this, because it means more to me than you know. i will cherish this forever. i’m so honored, both that what you wanted to say to me overpowered the fear of sending an ask and the fact that you even had these words to say to me to begin with. i get what it’s like to be afraid when it comes to reaching out, but know you will always be welcome here, whether it’s heartfelt words or genuinely anything. if you do have more to say, ever, i will absolutely welcome it with open arms

it takes a lot to reach out like this, but just know this is the most valuable interaction i think i have ever had on tumblr. if this doesn’t stick with me for life i think it’ll be safe to say i’ve lost all my memories. maybe i’m being dramatic, but i want you to know the extent that this has changed me (it’s fundamentally).

i don’t know how to say thank you for this. i think this will singlehandedly carry my motivation and will to keep creating for the rest of my life. i think i will keep writing because of it (and because of you, to know you are out there and once continued to return, even if i leave tumblr, even if you no longer do). to know someone out there was genuinely moved by what i also was is the greatest motivation i could ever dream of. whoever you are, i love you.

i was going to copy and paste some things you said and comment on them in particular, but i could literally do that to the entire ask. but i hope you know i will likely continue to reread every single word of this ask over and over until i can recite it because oh my god i will be thinking about this for the rest of my life

“curtain call is my roman empire” anon THIS is my roman empire 😭

this is so so all over the place because it made me so emotional LMAO i am so sorry. i don’t know how to summarize all i want to say, or go over everything you have said, but just know that i will keep every single word of this close to my heart and cherish it like i probably never have anything else.

thank you for everything. including the umbrella — rain doesn’t usually sweep me off my feet, but this ask did so i’ll use it for that instead.

#—crow’s nest.#☂️#the model of brain i have is. neurodivergent #pls anon this is literally going to plague my mind for the rest of my life #but like. in a good way #good lord #i’mgoing to throw up (positive)#watch me reblog this 5 times to add on to it GODDDDDDLUDWBHKGASKHIB #this made me want to write lyney stuff again ohmymgod

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