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#YOU'RE LYING AND DELUDING YOURSELF
spaciebabie · 3 months
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weather here is so fucking stupid. earlier this week it was freezing out and now its 60 degrees and i hafta dig thru my shit and pull out my sleeping shorts b/c its so fucking HOT IN MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW. WHY IS IT 60 DEGREES IN JANUARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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lovrspell · 2 months
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First time
Pairing: Astarion x Gn!Reader.
Summary: a little throwback to when Astarion received aftercare for the very first time — from you.
Warnings: Fluff. Suggestive. Mentions of abuse/trauma. Inability to manage displays of affection. Vampire bite. Blood sucking. Aftercare.
Word count: 2,3k
Masterlist.
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Looking back in time and examining your relationship with Astarion now and several months ago, you realize how much progress you have made together. Astarion, especially.
Now, he trusts, loves, and cherishes you effortlessly, finding comfort in the familiarity of your presence. Your intimate moments are a source of joy, marked by the tenderness of your comforting kisses and caresses. He's accustomed to it all.
But... Before, things were different.
Sometimes you recall the times when he shamelessly hit on you, and you're surprised that you deluded yourself that it was real interest, at least in the beginning — he used it as a defense mechanism, it was something rooted in him.
As for your first night together, it was... Well, it was definitely memorable.
———
“...Are you okay?" you asked, still out of breath from the passion you two just shared. The air in the tent was humid — you had quite the experience.
He turns to you, that usual smirk of his playing on his lips. “W-.. A-ha! Why wouldn't I be okay? I could finally taste you. Of course I'm okay.”
You gave a slight nod, lying down again. Astarion had already sat up, and in that position you could capture even the smallest details of that huge scar on his back you noticed earlier while you undressed him — but you didn't dare to ask about it yet.
In a brief spell of silence, you found yourself teetering between the realms of dreams and reality. The tranquility was interrupted by the sound of a forced cough. Abruptly, your eyes opened to the sight of Astarion staring down at you, fully clothed, wearing a somewhat snarky expression.
He looked anxious. Not his usual self, for sure.
In your half-asleep state, seeing him like that worried you. Were you talking in your sleep, by any chance? Were you drooling?
“What's— What's wrong?”
He raised an eyebrow, shifting his weight from hip to hip.
“It's kind of late, darling.” his tone had something almost impatient about it.
“I guess it is.”
Poor, oblivious you.
In that moment, you witnessed such confusion in him that it made you blink a few times; you couldn't wrap your head on where he was trying to go with that.
Parallelly, he couldn't understand you. Usually he offered his body, the other person took advantage of it and then… They left. But you? You were still there. And you hadn't even bothered to get dressed.
It was natural finding it a bit peculiar to see you still in his tent several moments after your climax. Was there a silent invitation for another round lingering in the air? Was he supposed to read between the lines?
A few moments of silence lingered as he gazed at you, perplexed. You returned the same gaze until a subtle shift in your expression hinted a realization –
Perhaps he sought some personal space.
Feeling a tinge of embarrassment, you blushed, not wanting to come across as intrusive.
“You want me to go?”
He's lost in his thoughts and, very unlikely of him, at a loss of words, apparently. It seems like his brain was trying to process too many informations at the same time, resulting in him going silent.
But you, at the time, as accustomed as you were and still are to gentle kissing and lingering caresses after the thrills of sex, recognized his behavior as annoyance towards your presence; therefore feeling unwanted you took it personally. Still, you didn't want to be on his tail.
“...Alright.”
You began to gather your clothes rather quickly, which were scattered here and there around the tent. As you absentmindedly buttoned your shirt, his gaze was fixed on you.
“See you tomorrow, Astarion. Thank you for... This. Good night.”
The fact that you thanked him for having sex with you baffled him enough, but never as much as the little kiss you planted on his cheek before leaving his tent. Simple and tender.
The tent flap swayed back and forth gracefully, following the lead of the gentle wind on a quiet night. His gaze lingered on the space where you had just been, right in front of him.
What was that?
He tried to think clearly.
During this shared night, he found no compulsion to wander far, to delve into the empty, dark yet strangely comforting realm he usually retreats to in moments like these — while to no one's surprise he effortlessly entered that familiar mental space without conscious effort.
He had sex with you because he knew no other way to gain your trust and protection. That looming, self-loathing sensation is still there, clawing under his skin and nibbling at his self respect with a trillion sharp teeth — but that kiss... That simple kiss on the cheek made him feel something he can't quite define. It's new and scary.
He wondered if it was really necessary to do all this to have your support in this journey.
He was too accustomed to the life he led under Cazador's command — seducing to survive. You're the first person he's willingly had sex with since escaping Cazador and he wasn't even fully into it; the thought upsets him.
Perhaps he's overthinking a simple kiss on the cheek.
But was it that simple?
The thoughts reached a deafening crescendo, and, as if emerging from a dream, he blinked several times and looked around, dazed. He needed to rest.
———
It's been a while since your sexual encounter. Astarion has not failed to make some teasing remarks about it every now and then, alluding to a second chance to indulge in each other again.
That second opportunity occurred, but several days after the first. It happened when you told him that he could feed on you that night and agreed that you would meet at your tent.
Astarion came to visit you late in the evening, when almost everyone had already retired to their tents. He found you reading a book, lying on your stomach.
“Hello, darling.” he greets you, his voice a sound that wakes you from your trance from the huge book you were absorbed into.
“Hi,” you reply distractedly, turning quickly towards him and taking the opportunity to stretch. You pushed the book aside, closing it.
It seemed that over the course of the day you had forgotten that you had proposed him to feed on you — the look of surprise on your face that dissolved rather quickly gave it away. You were visibly tired, he noticed. However, as soon as your eyes met his, you offered a gentle, sheepish smile — the kind reserved for moments when words become wearisome.
Allowing him to feed on you even when it seemed that all you wanted to do was rest stirred a semblance of life in his chest.
You sat up, adjusting comfortably. “I’m ready.” you informed him, moving the fabric of your clothing away from your neck to expose it to him.
Astarion stared at you, and for a moment he didn't say or do anything. He wanted to do something different this time, not just bite you, suck your blood, and then return to his tent. No, he wanted to try something new.
Instead of bringing his mouth to your neck, he brought it to your lips. He kissed you slowly, introducing his tongue in your mouth tentatively — but when he felt the natural tension vanish from your body, he brought his hands to your waist and deepened the kiss.
Astarion felt you melt in his arms, remembering how you had let yourself go the same way a few nights before.
Your hands came up to rest on his shoulders; Astarion leaned towards you until you were laying down. His lips separated from yours with a pop and only then did he place them on your neck. But even there, before sinking his sharp fangs into your skin, he planted a few kisses here and there.
He persisted, leaving a trail of kisses that moistened your neck. His lips traced a path to a point just under your ear, where he planted an open-mouthed kiss. Suddenly, you experienced a sharp, dull pain spreading rapidly in that spot. You hissed, clutching his shirt tightly and exhaling sharply; you heard a soft hum coming from him as he immediately began swallowing mouthfuls of your warm, succulent blood.
That little kissing ritual was to thank you, in a way. You were and have always been available to him, despite his bad temper and grumpy tendencies.
As he fed, the movement of one of your hands moving from his shoulders distracted him.
Next, he felt the touch of a gentle hand running through his hair.
He was so focused on sucking your blood that he didn't even notice for the first few seconds. Accordingly, he felt the distinct touch of your warm hand move across his cheek and cupping it.
What are you doing?
Your tender touch left him puzzled. Akin to a feather's caress, it cradled him in a way that stirred a desire more profound than any teasing or vulgar contact could evoke.
You felt him grunt against you, the guttural sound vibrating through your being.
Those touches reminded him of that kiss you had printed on his cheek after your night together; his stomach twisted in contrasting sensations.
He pulled away from you after a few seconds, but your caresses didn't stop. Your blood dripped from the corner of his mouth, his hair disheveled as a result of your fingers combing through his curls.
“What's up?” you asked, trying not to giggle at the fact that he looked like he had just woke up. You reached an hand in his hair to fix some wild curls back in their place.
He didn't answer at first, but then he shrugged slightly.
“Nothing.” he muttered softly, his body moving in your direction almost without his control. He was experiencing new things within himself, things he had never felt before.
A desire. A genuine desire, nothing that had to do with that of a few evenings prior. Despite his less-than-noble intentions previously, he openly acknowledges being drawn to you. However, unlike before when intimacy served a strategic purpose, this time things are different.
He craves you spontaneously, yielding to the impulse of the moment. While leaning in for a passionate, bloody kiss on your lips, he pledges not to flee from this moment or from you. No mental refuge exists now, just two bodies entwined and two souls merging into one another.
The tenderness of that kiss amazed you.
You feel his arms wrap around your waist to lift you up in his lap, kisses trailing down your neck to suck briefly on the holes he left in it.
One thing led to another and a few minutes later, you were both naked and nestled into each other.
Astarion was thrusting his hips into you breathlessly, continuing just to try drawing another orgasm out of your guts before you pull apart. This has been going on for a while now; he has absolutely drained you. In every way.
You had noticed a certain vigor in him, which was not given solely and exclusively by the fact that he had just made an excellent reserve of blood. He felt alive, present, current. He was there with you, made a puddle in your arms while you cradled each other through your collective ecstasy.
If the first time his gaze seemed empty and absent, often far from yours, now it was bright and lively, never too distant from your own. It was impossible not to notice the difference.
When the rush of pleasure died down, he pulled away from you slowly, almost reluctantly. He came down from above you to lie next to your body; both sweaty and out of breath, you remained silent for several minutes.
You anticipated for him to leave as soon as possible, given the discomfort he displayed that evening when you prolonged your stay just a bit, expecting to spend some time together after your sexual activity.
But he remained there, next to you, his expression thoughtful but relaxed. You assumed he didn't want to leave just yet.
However, just as that pleasant, inviting thought etched itself into your beliefs, he sat up and reached for his undergarments dispersed around the tent.
You frowned, sitting up and reaching for his arm without even thinking twice.
“Wait, wait... Why don't you stay?”
You didn't fail to catch him off guard this time, too. Your voice had such a sweet, pleading edge to it.
“We can talk, we can... We can even just be silent together. Do you want to?”
He guessed it couldn't hurt to try.
He lay down again, putting his clothes aside. He saw you smile from the corner of his eye as you did the same, this time lying on your side.
One of your hands carefully came up to caress his chest tentatively. The tips of your nails scratched his skin deliciously, sending shivers down his spine. His eyes fluttered and he looked up at you; he was confused, disorientated.
“What are you doing?”
“Do you not like it?”
“...I do.”
“Then just enjoy it.”
He followed your advice.
In that instant, he embodied a certain beauty that surpassed his usual charm. Surrendering to your soothing enfolds, he reached a blissful state, breaking down every wall and baring his soul to you. Every muscle in his body eased into relaxation. He scoots closer until he's basically all curled up in your arms, melting against your comforting heat.
That night, he shared a peaceful slumber with you, and to this day, he never ceases to express his profound gratitude for the invaluable gift of your love.
You made his dead heart start beating again.
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yandere-daydreams · 9 months
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Alhaitham & Kaveh give the vibes that they’d own a hybrid, like bunny or sheep darling so they can delude themselves into thinking they’re keeping them safe. or maybe they’re both hybrids too? maybe just Kaveh is?? the possibilities r so endless with this au
tw - implied non///con, unhealthy relationships, dumbification and unbalanced power dynamics.
there are actually so many possibilities with kalhaitham,,,, i can see any of these dynamics being really fun, but i am absolutely in-love with the concept of kaveh finding a stray bunny hybrid while scoping out an empty plot of land for an upcoming project (that is, if his client actually coughs up enough funding, this time) and immediately deciding he just can't bare to leave you all by yourself. alhaitham gets home in time to catch kaveh wrestling you into a bath, having already made a valiant effort to comb the burrs and mud out of your matted fur, and attempts to warn his roommate about how much attention hybrids can demand, how moody and absent-minded rabbits tend to be in particular, but of course, kaveh's too stubborn to listen. since kaveh swears up and down that you'll be staying in his bedroom and cared for with kaveh's meager commissions, he lets it go (even if he does keep tighnari on speed-dial, just in case).
you are a little cute, once you get cleaned up. bunny hybrids tend to be somewhat empty behind the eyes, and you're no exception, perfectly happy to be cared for and doted on and dressed up in kaveh's pretty, frilly outfits so long as it means you're fed well and allowed to spend your days bundled up in kaveh's fluffy, expensive blankets. you don't say much, not when you're alone with alhaitham, but kaveh seems more focused on treating you like some oversized stuffed animal than making conversation - always hauling you into his lap and fawning over your floppy ears, fussing over your outfits and your diet and your rough you must've had it before he took you in.
really, the only time alhaitham hears your voice is as he passes kaveh's door at night, when he pauses to listen to kaveh's cooing and the strangled, muffled sounds you let out, so unlike anything he's ever heard you make before. sometimes, he'll linger longer than he knows he should, fuck his fist as he pictures your plush body bouncing on kaveh's thigh - your big, dumb eyes wide and watery and your little pink nose twitching as you cum for the thousandth time. it's no wonder you've always got that glazed-over, faraway look; he's surprised you can bring yourself to think at all when kaveh's constantly fucking you to the brink of unconsciousness, constantly splitting you open on his tongue or his fingers or his cock whenever alhaitham turns his back. then again, alhaitham would be lying if he said he doesn't see why kaveh is so feral, when it comes to you.
if he had less self-restraint, he would've bent you over the first time he caught you traipsing around the house in one of your tiny skirts, would've told you to get on your knees as soon as he realized exactly what his roommate was using that pretty mouth for. you're lucky he has more self-respect than kaveh does. you're lucky he takes better care of his pets than kaveh does.
you're lucky that, when comes time for his turn to fuck your brains away, alhaitham's already decided he's going to treat you like the animal you are rather than the toy kaveh so clearly wants you to be.
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hyunniesgirl · 7 months
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Call it what you want
Pairing: Hyunjin x fem!reader
Summary: You and Hyunjin were never on the best terms but when you're cheated on and your ex is trying to get you back, Hyunjin does everything he can to prevent it from happening.
Genre: enemies(ish) to lovers, smut, fluff
Word count: 6,990
Warnings for this chapter: lots of fluffy, Hyunjin and reader being idiots in love, piv, fingering, handjob, oral(M receiving), praise and unprotected sex(this is a work of fiction, use protection in real life)(if there's anything missing let me know)
A/N: Call it what you want comes to an end. It's my first finished fic on tumblr and I really love this story with all my heart. Thanks to all the people who liked, commented and/or shared it I feel really happy that so many people like my work. Please keep supporting my blog because I have a lot of ideas I want to write about.
Chapter 3: the most precious thing
Previous chapter: drunk
This content is +18 minors do not interact!!!
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You wake up to something hard pressing against your ass, you're still sleepy so you don't connect this with what happened before you slept. That's before you realize there's an arm around your waist making you wide awake.
You suddenly remember how Hyunjin barged into your room last night, 'this can't be happening', you think turning around slowly and trying not to wake him up, it's going to be embarrassing for the both of you if that happens right now.
He's sleeping peacefully with not a worry in the world, his lips are slightly open and his hair is all messy. You can't help noticing how beautiful he is. Of course you always knew he was handsome but in this moment you see just how pretty he is.
'Now is not the time to admire him, Y/N, you have to get out of this situation without waking him up', thinking to yourself you try to lift his arm that's around you failing miserably as he snuggles even more into your neck and holds your waist tighter.
"Let's stay like this for a little bit more", he says with his eyes still closed.
"Since when have you been awake?", you ask, feeling your cheeks getting warm.
"An hour maybe", he answers, making you frown in confusion.
"What? Then why didn't you get up?"
"I don't want to go back to the way things were", he sighs, now opening his eyes and staring at you with a gaze that you're sure holds much more meaning than you know about. "I'm sorry I barged in yesterday, I know it was not right"
You sigh, it's nerve wrecking to have him in bed with you, holding you like you belong to each other.
"It's okay, I know you didn't mean harm and you were pretty cute drunk", you joke trying to escape from your thoughts.
"I don't even want to remember what I did", he chuckles. "But I feel like I should"
"You told me I'm pretty", you smile turning to stare at the roof, "that I'm smart and that you missed me lots"
He stays silent for a few seconds, making you look at him and seeing his face as red as a tomato. You thought he would regret saying those things to you, that he would make some excuse and say he was just babbling because he was drunk. But his eyes are avoiding yours and he turns his face to hide in the pillow making you believe he actually meant those things.
"Please, don't look at me", he groans.
"You can still take it back", you say. Even though his signs clearly tell you he won't do that, you want to give him a chance to say otherwise so you won't delude yourself.
"Why would I?", he looks at you, raising his head from the pillow and resting it on his hand. "That's all true"
Praying that he can't see your blushing face you turn around lifting his arm from you and getting up from bed.
"Do you want some coffee?", you ask, walking towards your wardrobe. When Hyunjin doesn't answer you look at him, catching him checking you out. He have his teeth biting his lower lip and when you cross your arms raising an eyebrow he smiles sheepishly, lying on his stomach.
"I don't know, I'll just stay here a bit more", he answers or more like grumbles with his head hidden under a pillow.
Entering the bathroom you finally can breathe. 'What the heck is happening?', is the question running through your mind.
You can't believe Hwang Hyunjin is actually in your bed and he's showering you with compliments nonetheless.
You look at yourself in the mirror and understand why he was eyeing you. You were planning on sleeping alone and you were kinda upset that he was avoiding you, and for some reason because he likes another girl.
So you decided to treat yourself nicely, made some skin care routine, put on some nice body lotion and dressed in your silk pajamas consisting of really short shorts that barely cover your ass and a tank top with lace in the cleavage. You actually would be offended if he DIDN'T look at you while wearing that, afterall, you wanted to look hot for yourself since he likes someone else.
And that brings more questions, why did he come after you while drunk? Sudden realization hits you. Minho was definitely eyeing you when he was talking about the girl Hyunjin likes, you just didn't want to believe it.
Does he really like you? Like, in a romantic way? A big smile grows on your face just thinking about that and you slap both sides of your face trying to come back to reality, 'please don't be delusional', you think.
Of course, there's a possibility it's true. But do you want that? It hasn't been long since you broke up with Eric and you didn't even have the courage to really talk to him, too afraid of the hurt you're going to feel. Is it right to want Hyunjin to like you? Did you ever get over your crush for him? Or did you just start annoying him so he would pay at least a little bit of attention to you? There's so many questions you still have to figure it out.
You change into a jumper and a tank top and do your matinal routine before going back to your room, seeing your bed empty. You sigh, disappointed, did he really sneak out while you were not there?
"At least he made the bed", you whisper, putting the clothes you took off on your wardrobe.
You open the windows of your room before going downstairs, maybe with some wind circulating his scent is going to go away and you can forget about last night.
You hear the pan frying when you are getting down the stairs, weird, your parents are not supposed to be home until the end of the month.
"Ouch", you hear Hyunjin's whine, stopping on your tracks.
'Didn't he leave?'
You start walking towards the kitchen and find him washing his hand on the sink.
"What are you doing?", you ask, looking at him, a look of pain in his face.
"I'm making breakfast", he smiles.
You look around, there's flour everywhere, egg shells cracked in the sink and some smoke coming out of a pan on the stove.
He sucks the air through his teeth before running to turn off the stove.
"I mean… trying", he looks at you with a guilty face and you can't help finding it cute. This guy almost started a fire in your house and you find it "cute"? There must be something wrong with your brain.
"Let me see it", you ask.
"I'm sorry", he sighs, "I wanted to treat you for taking care of me last night"
You take his hand into yours, looking at the burn closely and thankfully it doesn't look that bad.
"You don't have to apologize", you fidget trying to put your pride aside and do the right thing, "I should be the one saying sorry"
He frowns, tilting his head.
"About what?"
"About that day", you clear your throat, trying to gather enough courage and look him in the eyes. "I shouldn't have been so mean to you, you were not the one who hurt me and I shouldn't have just snapped at you like that, I'm really sorry"
He presses his lips in a thin line, staring at you.
"And I really don't think you're anything like Eric, he's just trash and I know you're a good person", you say all at once.
Unexpectedly, Hyunjin slides the hand you're not holding to your waist, getting up from the chair he's seated, towering over you. He puts his hand on your chin, lifting your face and making you look at him.
"Can-can I kiss you?", he asks and your heart starts beating so fast and loudly you can hear it in your ears. You nod and he smiles, bending down and pressing his lips against yours.
It's nice and peaceful to kiss him, his lips are still warm and soft but there's something different from the night at the party. He's calm and his tongue slides lazily into your mouth, pressing against yours and making you sigh, you didn't know how much you missed this until that moment.
You wrap your arms around his neck, tip toeing to deepen the kiss. Hyunjin groans, wrapping his arms around your waist, pressing your bodies even more against each other, if that's possible.
You both only step away from each other when the necessity to breathe is impossible to avoid but he keeps his hands on you, pressing kisses against your hair at the top of your head.
You don't know what to feel exactly, you are sure you like him, but you have to figure it out the whole thing with your ex before having something serious with him.
When Hyunjin try kissing you again you put your hand on his chest, stopping him. You can see the panic in his eyes for a brief moment, how come did you never notice the way he acts towards you?
"Did I do something wrong? Was it bad?", he mumbles, cupping your face with pleading eyes, "I can do better"
You give him a peck on the lips.
"It was perfect", you assure him, "I just… I have to take care of the situation with Eric, we still didn't have a proper conversation", you explain.
"Don't say his name", he whispers, resting his forehead on yours, "not after kissing me", he pouts and you smile.
"I'm going to figure things out as soon as possible", you say and he sighs.
"You know, I've been waiting for you for a long time", hearing that, you're so afraid he'll say he won't wait anymore but he slides his hands through your arms until he reaches your hands, intertwining your fingers. "So I can wait a bit more to make things official"
You are so happy you can't stop smiling, like a fool.
"But… do we have to wait to be together?", he asks and you tilt your head to the side, frowning. "I don't want to pressure you, really. I can wait for as long as you need, but I… now that I know I have a chance I just don't want anyone trying and stealing you from me"
You take a deep breath, never in a million years you thought you'd be hearing something like this from Hyunjin.
"I mean, we can hold hands or something", you blush and he giggles cupping your face with both hands again.
"Hm, I don't know if just holding hands can do it for me", he presses his lips against yours again in a quick peck. "I'll need some kisses and maybe cuddles?"
You laugh, slapping his chest.
"I'll think about it", you stare at each other for a moment, like two idiots and then you step away. "Now, let's clean this place and I'll make something good for us to eat"
You two start cleaning the kitchen. You are washing the dishes and Hyunjin is cleaning the flour that's everywhere. He steals some kisses here and gives you some hugs there until you're finished with cleaning.
You make pancakes and you eat together chatting about your classes and how Hyunjin is excited to show up with you at school and make everyone jealous because he has the prettiest girl by his side.
After eating he has to go home, after all he just went out in the middle of the night without letting anyone know. So you kiss him goodbye and wave until he disappears from your sight at the end of the street.
You can't believe this actually happened. If anyone told you three months ago that you would be doing all these things with Hyunjin you'd say they're absolutely crazy.
•••
You decided to talk to Eric the next day. You can't keep avoiding him forever and after people start noticing you and Hyunjin, you're sure he's going to hear about it and come after you. So it's best to go to him first, tell him what you have to say, hear what he has to say and then end things definitely.
Hyunjin is waiting for you outside of your house, he has two cups of coffee in his hands and a wide smile on his face.
"Morning, beautiful", he says, giving a kiss on your cheek and handing you one of the cups.
"Good morning", you smile as he opens the door of his car so you can enter, "I wasn't expecting you"
"I wanted to surprise you", he says after going around the car and entering the driver's side.
You smile, fastening your seatbelt and sipping your coffee.
"How do you know how I like my coffee?", you ask, suspiciously, feeling the familiar flavor in your mouth.
"I may or may not have peaked at your order when we went to the cafe with the guys", he admits shamelessly and you glare at him even though he can't see you since he's looking forward and paying attention to the road.
"I'm getting goosebumps", you joke, "are you a stalker or something?"
He laughs.
"I mean, I almost had to become one so I could be next to you", he sighs, "you're a really difficult person to get hold of"
"Well, if you so much desire I'll let you be close to me", you say, stretching yourself and kissing him on the cheek.
The college campus is unusually crowded, just your lucky that this is the day Hyunjin and you show up together. He gets out of the car and runs around opening the door for you.
You can feel everyone staring and of course they would. This is Hwang Hyunjin, the most popular person on campus. The college's promise to be a great and famous artist that'll bring fame and renown to the university. To make things perfect, he's the hottest guy on campus, so if they don't know the artist Hyunjin, they know everyone's crush Hyunjin.
You know a lot of people and have a lot of friends too, but everyone is probably shocked that you're showing up together.
"Everyone's staring", you whisper to him and Hyunjin smiles.
"As they should, the hottest girl on campus is not available anymore", he smirks at you, "they must be jealous"
You chuckle, you shouldn't entertain this behavior of his but you find it amusing.
"Can I hold you?", he asks and you sigh, of course you won't be able to keep a low profile if you're together so you nod, giving him your permission.
Hyunjin slides his arms around your shoulder, bringing you closer and looking at everyone with that cocky smile you hated so much and that now you don't hate it as much, seeing him use it to be proud of having you by his side.
•••
"Have I heard it wrong or did you and Hyunjin were all over each other this morning?", Yeji asks you. She and Chaeryeong trapped you on the toilet, both eager to know if this piece of gossip is actually true.
"I wouldn't say we were all over each other, but yes we came in together and yes before you ask we have something going on", you answer even before Chaeryeong can open her mouth.
Chaeryeong stretches her hand in Yeji's direction, smiling proudly.
"Give me ten bucks, I told you they were going to hookup before the end of the semester"
You gasp, mouth open wide.
"Did you make a bet on us?", you ask and Yeji sighs giving the money to Chaeryeong.
"Yes and if you had kept it your pants until the end of the semester I would have won"
"What if nothing had happened between us?", you ask and the two stare at you for a couple of seconds before bursting into laughter.
"Y/N, you're literally the only person in our group that didn't know Hyunjin is head over heels for you", Chaeryeong says.
"I don't think it was that obvious", you point out a little embarrassed that they knew and you didn't.
"Of course, for people that don't know him or you it might be difficult to see it, but we spend so much time together and he is always looking at you", Yeji says.
"And when you started dating Eric he looked like he would cry when he heard the news", Chaeryeong completes and you frown.
"If you knew, why didn't you tell me?", you ask feeling upset, you feel bad for making him suffer.
"Because it was not our place to do that", Yeji explains, "as much as we are your friends, we are his friends too. It wouldn't be fair for any of us, including the guys, to tell you about his feelings when he didn't"
You sigh, they're right and you know it. But even though you know it, you still feel bad because you were not more attentive.
You go back to class with Chaeryeong after Yeji went to her classroom. It's Economy and Eric is going to be there.
It's time for you to overcome your fear and talk to him. You're sure it's going to hurt, but not as much anymore. You finally feel ready to finish things.
When the class ends you wait for everyone to get out, you tell Chaeryeong to go on first and you know Eric is going to take the opportunity and talk to you.
As soon as the classroom is empty there's just the two of you there. You take a few deep breaths before heading toward him.
"Let's talk", you say and he smirks.
"Now you want to talk to me?", he asks and you control yourself to not roll your eyes.
"This is going to be the last time I'll talk to you, so you better take it seriously", you say and he frowns.
"What do you mean? Didn't you come to ask to get back together?"
You want to laugh, is he delusional?
"For god's sake, Eric, you cheated on me, why the hell would I want to go back to you?", you say suddenly feeling mad.
"Why else would you want to talk?"
You sigh, was he always this idiot?
"I want to finish things properly, you can say anything and I'll hear you", you don't really want to but you feel like you have to so things will end completely.
"I don't know what you want to hear", he scoffs.
"Why did you cheat on me?", you ask.
"I don't know, it just happened", he raise one of his eyebrows, "I told you it meant nothing, I don't know why you have to overreact like this"
It's your time to scoff.
"How do you want me to go back to you when you don't understand what you did wrong?" You say, "I really liked you, I thought we were good together and you went there and broke my trust"
He looks at you, not an ounce of guilt or embarrassment in his face. He grabs one of your hands pulling you closer to him.
"I think we are good together, let's start all over, okay? I promise I'll be good, I'll never disappoint you again"
You sigh once more, it's no use talking to him, he doesn't want to hear you. You pull your hand out of his grasp.
"We are done and I mean it, I don't want you to come looking for me", you pass through him in the direction of the door but you keep looking at him the entire time so he'll know how serious you're about it, "I won't hide anymore because you'll leave me alone and if you don't I'll register a complaint in the dean's office"
You turn around but as soon as you cross the door, you feel his hand on your wrist making you turn around.
"Why are you being such a bitch?", he asks aggressively, "is it because Hyunjin is fucking you now? I always knew there was something about all the shit you pulled on each other"
You gulp, you knew there was a chance he would hear about it but you didn't imagine it would happen so fast.
"He has nothing to do with it, you are the one who ruined what we had", you say trying to release your arm from his grasp.
"Just admit you wanted to break up so you could run to his arms like a fucking whore", he says and you see red but before you can punch him in the face someone else does it for you.
You look at him, Hyunjin is between you now and Eric is bent, holding his jaw.
"This is none of your business", he says and Hyunjin pushes you to stay behind him.
Eric looks at you, standing up and coming closer trying to avoid Hyunjin.
"Come here, Y/N, let's have a conversation like grown ups"
"Shut the fuck up, don't talk to her", Hyunjin says pushing Eric alway from you, you never saw him looking this mad. You step to the side so you can see your ex boyfriend.
"I meant what I said, don't come near me anymore", you say, taking Hyunjin's hand and walking fast to the hall, dragging him away from the classrooms.
He doesn't ask questions or say anything, actually. When you are finally far enough you turn to him, looking at his hand to check if it's okay.
"Does it hurt?" You ask, looking at the reddened skin in the same hand he burned in your house.
"I'm sure he's hurting more than me", he chuckles, staring at you and observing your every move.
"I don't care if he's hurt, I'm asking if you are", you answer looking up to stare at him.
Even though he did that to defend you, you still want to scold him. He could get in serious trouble because of what happened, things could've been much worse and he could've gotten hurt really badly.
"It's okay, it doesn't hurt a lot", he says and you breath relieved, "but you can give it a kiss to help it heal faster", he suggests with that stupid smirk on his face.
You roll your eyes but give a kiss on his knuckles anyway, taking him by surprise and making him blush.
"I- I was just kidding", he whispers.
"You shouldn't have done that", you say, "what if there was some professor around? You would get in trouble"
"You know the professors love me here", he smiles shrugging and you huff.
"Even though they like you, they can't overlook violence"
"I know", his hand comes toward your face and he cups your cheek caressing it. "I just couldn't control myself", he's the one huffing, now. "I just don't want to see you sad, he's the one in the wrong so it's not fair for him to accuse you like that"
You can't help but feel butterflies in your stomach, seeing him worried about you.
"If it makes you feel better I don't feel sad because of him anymore", you say looking down and playing with the hem of your shirt, too embarrassed to keep staring at him.
"Yeah?", he asks, putting one of his hands on your waist and pulling you closer to him. You nod, blushing. He takes the other hand to your chin, lifting your face so you look at him. He's getting closer and closer.
When he's almost touching your lips with his, he stops. You can feel his breathing hitting your skin and the scent he exhales is just so intoxicating you feel dizzy.
"Can I kiss you?", He asks, licking his lips and looking at yours like he could devour you.
"Ye-", before you can finish, his lips come crashing at yours with so much hunger and need it's surprising how it feels like heaven, soft and warm. His tongue dances with yours, figuring a rhythm that makes you sigh in pleasure. Hyunjin feels the happiest in this moment, he finally can have you. You're finally letting him in.
Once you have to break the kiss to breathe you're feeling all your body hot, his lips are swollen and red. He gets close again resting his head on your shoulder, you can feel his heavy breathing on the crock of your neck.
"Did you already finish your classes for the day?", He asks and you nod. "Then, can I take you home?"
You nod again, feeling warm. A feeling you're getting used to every time he's around.
"I'm kinda hungry though", you say hoping he got the hint. You don't want to go home yet you want to spend more time with him.
"I know a really good restaurant, want to eat something, then?", you smile happily, taking his hand and following him to the parking lot.
Hyunjin takes you to a really nice restaurant by the beach. It's a 40 minute drive and you both eat pasta with a really good dessert.
He smiles the whole time and you feel glad that you can make him happy after hurting him with your obliviousness.
"Should we walk for a bit?", He asks when you're done and you nod.
You two take your shoes so it won't get full of sand and Hyunjin takes your hand, pulling you closer to his side. Surprisingly, there's no one else at the beach, even though it's a weekday you expected to see at least some children playing.
"Do you like the beach?", Hyunjin asks and you ponder.
"I do", you say, snuggling into his side and hugging his waist while you walk.
He sighs happily and you look at him, he's smiling widely. It's so strange to you that someone enjoys so much the little things you do.
"What about you?"
"I like it if you're there", he says slyly and you laugh out loud.
"Woah, you're really smooth"
He stops on his tracks making you stop too and look at him.
"I'm going to come on strong now", he warns you and you frown, smiling. It's cute he thinks he wasn't coming on strong when he came after you while drunk. "I'm serious!", He pouts.
"So tell me, what are you going to do to win my heart?"
He turns to you completely, clearing his throat and grabbing both your hands to intertwine your fingers.
"I'll start by telling you that If you give me a chance to be with you I will never let you go even if you want me to", he says looking deep into your eyes, "I will never hurt you, I will treat you like the most precious thing in the world because that's what you are to me"
The familiar warmth comes creeping to your cheeks, you didn't expect him to confess and to be so open about his feelings.
"I'll make sure you're happy everyday, if you're ever sad or mad I'll cheer you up, I'll take care of you when you need me too and even when you don't"
In this exact moment you realize you love him, how could you not? You're not sure if you ever stopped liking him or if your feelings were just buried in some dark corner of your heart too afraid to be rejected to even try.
You wrap your arms around his waist, hugging him and resting your face on his chest. You're not sure if you want him to see the tears brimming through your eyes.
"You don't have to do all that", you say, feeling his arms around you. "You can just stay by my side, I won't ask for anything more"
He kisses the top of your head, taking a step back. He cups your face, lifting your head so you look at him and giving a long peck on your lips.
"Y/N, do you want to be my girlfriend?", he asks and you feel your heart skip a beat.
"I do, I really do"
He smiles, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you in a hug, making you squeal.
Even though you told Hyunjin he doesn't have to do all those things, he wants to. He'll prove to you that you're meant to be.
•••
When the car stops in front of your house you still don't want to part ways with him.
"Do you want to come in?", you suggest, hoping he'll do it.
He smiles kindly.
"I do want to, but I have something important to do tonight"
"Oh, okay", you're a little disappointed. You thought he wouldn't want to be apart from you so soon after his confession but it must be something really important.
"I'll see you tomorrow at school, come looking for me in the arts department", he says, giving you a kiss on the cheek, you blush with the affection he shows you and nod, smiling and getting out of the car.
He stays in front of your house until he's sure you're locked in and safe in your house.
It's already late so you get ready for bed, looking at your phone and reading the messages you have. You tuck yourself in bed and close your eyes, smiling like a fool thinking about Hyunjin.
The morning comes too soon, you were dreaming about your handsome boyfriend and the dirtiest things you want to do to him the first chance you get.
You get ready for school, are you glowing? You feel different looking in the mirror, maybe happiness does good to your skin.
Chan comes to pick you up, you're sure he wants to talk to you about Hyunjin, his child. Even though you are the same age as them, Chan and Yeji treat all your friends like their children, they really have this kind of parents vibe.
"So, I heard about you and Hyunjinnie", you smile knowing you were right. "Is it serious? Do you like him?", he asks.
"Yeah, it's serious", you clear your throat, shifting in your seat. "We are dating"
"Really?", Chan takes the deepest breath, like he was holding his breath since the moment you joined him in the car, "thank god, it would be awful if you didn't have good intentions"
"What?", you laugh, "shouldn't you be worried about me too?"
"The amount of times I had to hear Hyunjin whining while drunk saying how much he likes you leads me to believe you're secured"
You blush, now you know he liked you for a long time but it's strange to think how obvious he was and you never noticed.
"I didn't know he liked me", you say and Chan looks at you, he's parking in school already.
"Would it make a difference if you knew he did?"
"Yeah… I actually liked him too back then, when we first met"
Chan's eyes widen.
"You did? I thought you liked Eric even before dating him"
You sigh.
"It turns out it was all a big misunderstanding on my part", you smile sheepishly, "I thought Hyunjin didn't like me so I opted for the safest option, I didn't mean to make him hurt"
Chan's the one sighing now.
"I know you didn't, but you have to tell him you liked him since day one", he smiles, grabbing your hand and squeezing it. "He'll be happy to know he's not the only idiot who was to afraid to confess and missed the timing"
You punch him in the arm, laughing and getting out of the car. You let Chan know you're going to look for Hyunjin in his department before walking towards the arts building.
You have the weird impression that people are staring at you again, it happened yesterday because you were with Hyunjin but you're by yourself right now.
Even though that makes you anxious, you decide to ignore it. Worrying about it won't make them stop.
When you get to the arts department you finally can guess why people are staring at you. There's a huge painting of you in the middle of the hall covering the whole wall. You feel your face hot immediately, knowing exactly that that was the important thing Hyunjin had to do when you see him still in the same clothes as yesterday.
He smiles at you and you don't know if you want to punch or kiss him.
"What's this?", you ask and he hugs you, kissing the top of your head.
"It's you, my inspiration", he answers, smiling proudly. You keep looking at him, frowning.
"I was struggling to come up with this idea, the theme is 'the happiest moment' so I painted you because I'm the happiest in every moment I share with you"
You feel like crying actually, this is the most beautiful display of love you ever received. You can't contain the happiness in your chest, you want to scream, jump, cry, laugh, everything at once. But trying to keep your dignity unharmed you wrap your hands around his neck, giving him a peck on the lips.
"I really love it", you say. "But next time give me a heads up, everyone was staring at me when I arrived"
He laughs.
"Good, they have to know your face to know you're already taken"
You roll your eyes, he's really a fool blinded by love.
"Do you want to come to my house after class? We have things to talk about"
"Sure, I'll come pick you up at your class when I'm done", he says and nods, giving a quick kiss on his neck and stepping away before you're too late for class.
•••
You wake up to Hyunjin legs intertwined with yours, his arm is wrapped on your waist holding you firmly.
After you came home, you told him about everything. That you liked him since the first time you laid eyes on him but you gave up, too afraid of rejection.
He told you it was his fault, he should have told you how he felt so you wouldn't feel that way and you both laughed because you could be together this whole time if you two weren't so stubborn.
You kissed a lot the night before, so much it turned all of your horny senses on. But the bags under Hyunjin's eyes told you he needed sleep, he stayed up all night painting you, after all.
So you were the stronger one and stopped things from going further, telling him to have some sleep.
But now you wake up feeling the familiar hardness against your ass and all your body feels hot.
"Mmn", you hear him groan slightly, pressing himself even more on you, hand caressing your stomach and you moan.
"Are you awake?", he whispers, his waking voice much more sexy than you remember.
"Yes", you say grinding against his cock.
"Fuck", he groans, biting your shoulder. "Can I touch you?", he asks and you hum, consenting.
"Do you want me too? Tell me with your words", he says, playing with the hem of your shorts.
"Please", you plead and he chuckles, sliding his hand underneath your shorts.
"I can get used to you begging", he says, pressing your clit over the fabric of your underwear and feeling it soaked. He sucks the air between his teeth, kissing your shoulder. "You're so good for me, already so wet"
You blush, you never thought you'd be into this kind of thing. But hearing him tell you how good you are just made the knot on your lower stomach grow bigger.
"Please, baby", you plead again, you want him to touch you so badly.
"If you call me that I won't be able to control myself", he says, sliding your panties to the side and entering a finger inside you. You arch your back with the sudden intrusion, grinding even harder on his crotch.
He is smirking, you don't have to look at him to know that. He puts another finger inside you and you moan loudly now.
"Can't wait to have my cock inside you, it's going to feel so good", he starts making circles in your clit with his thumb. You can feel the tension in your lower stomach growing, you're almost there.
"I'm going to c-cum", you whisper or try, your voice is not coming out in an understandable way.
His movement gets faster and you gasp.
"That's right baby, cum for me. I want to hear you say my name, do it"
"Oh, Hyunjin-ahh", you barely can say it with the way your body is trembling and your voice is failing.
He gives a kiss on your cheek, mesmerized by you. You look so pretty coming undone just for him. You're breathing heavily, trying to recover some strength to turn around and look at him.
Your face is flushed, he kisses you and you moan feeling his hands wander through your body.
You feel his hard on pressed against your stomach and you slide your hand there, gripping it over his boxer and hearing him groan.
"You want me to touch you?", you ask the same question he did to you minutes before and he nods with his eyes closed.
"Tell me with your words, pretty"
He chuckles, opening his eyes and staring at you.
"Touch me", he commands and you feel your pussy clenching around nothing. How can he be this sexy?
You slide your hand under the fabric of his underwear, feeling his cock. The head is flowing with precum and it looks painfully hard.
You wrap your hand around it, sliding up and down, never taking your eyes out of him. His lips are slightly apart and you know he wants to close his eyes, but won't break eye contact.
You stop stroking him just for a second, going down and positioning yourself in the middle of his legs. Licking the head of his cock and sliding it all in your mouth.
"Shit", he gasps.
You look so damn hot staring at him while going down on his cock like that, he's having a hard time breathing. Your mouth feels so good on him, so warm and your soft lips look so perfect around him.
You can't fit all of him in your mouth, so you take every bit you can and stroke the rest of it with your hands, playing with his balls.
"I'm coming", he whispers, warning you, finally closing his eyes and spurting into your mouth.
Hyunjin takes a few seconds to look at you, recovering from his high. You take the opportunity to get rid of your clothes, throwing his boxer away too.
Once he's done he pulls you on top of him, kissing you eagerly. He can feel himself in your mouth and he can't think about a moment he was more turned on than right now.
"I love you", he whispers between kisses, he's kissing your jaw, neck and collarbone, going down to your chest and admiring your bare breasts.
You blush, you're not used to someone watching you so attentively and with so much affection.
"I love you", you say shyly and he smiles, kissing you on the lips now.
You grab his cock that's already hard again and place it in your entrance. Hyunjin takes a deep breath putting his hands on your hips and waiting till you slide into his cock.
"Oh", you whimper, taking all of him at once. He feels bigger inside of you, touching all the places you could possibly think of.
"Fuck", he groans, feeling your hips moving. You start riding on him, hands resting on his chest and head thrown back.
You feel so good, you can't think straight, you just want to feel more of him. Hyunjin's situation is not much different from yours, your tight cunt squeezes his cock like it was meant for him, he's not sure if he would be able to pull out if he wanted to by the way you're tightening around him.
The lewd sounds and expressions you make do nothing to help him, your little moans while you ride in so harshly are making him lose his mind. He tightens the grip on your hips, sinking deeper inside you.
"Please Hyunjin, please, I'm almost there", you beg and he almost cum again just by hearing you.
"Come for me, my muse, I want to see how pretty you look coming on my cock"
He feels your warm walls tighten even more around him, your nails dig into the skin of his chest and the sounds you make, moaning so loudly people outside could certainly hear you make him get even closer to cumming.
"Do it inside me", you say, taking him by surprise, "I want to feel all of you, all hot inside of me", and he does just that, feeling your cunt squeeze all his cum out of him.
You're both exhausted, you collapse on top of him and he kisses you lazily, caressing your face. He lies you on the bed by his side, carefully watching you.
"I really love you", you say smiling and closing your eyes.
"I love you too", he kisses the tip of your nose, pulling you closer so you can go back to sleep together.
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If you like my work and want to support it, please, like, comment and/or reblog my content. Or you can buy me a coffee.
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All characters in my writing are from my own imagination and don't represent nor reflect in any way the people in real life.
Taglist:
@hhwangsmoon @inara-a @cutesince2000 @lockeansonder @lauraliisa
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erinkeifer · 5 months
Text
𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐅𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐀𝐰𝐚𝐲
Masterlist | Wattpad | AO3
...Where you're forced to watch the love of your life slowly fade away.
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Author Note: No warnings - but I bring you a lot of sadness today. It will be very brief but emotionally charged. (I literally cried writing this, lol) Word Count: 700
You watched as your boy slowly faded. You watched as he gradually disappeared. To endure - that's all that's left for you. Sometimes, you put on a painful smile, holding back the tears - because that was the only thing you could stop. You knew you couldn't halt what was slowly consuming your beloved. Maybe you were beginning to get used to it, maybe something had stopped reopening your wounds - at least that's how you sometimes explained this state to yourself. You hoped for adaptation, but what kind of adaptation is it when pain covers pain? Every day, you observed his face - once so radiant and full of life - which, for some time now, acquired new traces each morning. You still see the same beauty in it - you'll probably see it for a long time, until the inevitable pain consumes it completely, but you don't want to think about that. Not yet. But even if it evaporates completely from that face - you will still search. You try to buy time as much as you can. When Anakin returns to the quarters and his weary face meets yours, you infect him with your routine - just like usual, like in the good old times. You grit your teeth as you make his favorite sandwiches - the ones he used to always ask for when he returned from a mission - now he leaves more of them behind, but when he does reach for them, you sit across from him and marvel at every little move he makes.
"Something wrong?" he says, his mouth still filled with food.
"No, nothing. I just like watching… Seeing you enjoy. You always liked these," you say.
Perhaps at times, you seemed peculiar, but you desperately wanted to soak in your normalcy. Your routine, torn from your grasp, and you can't do anything about it - so you fight as you can, reveling in your small gestures. Nights are the most painful. Of course, you always spend them together—sometimes you have to coax Anakin into lying down and stop overthinking, to stop being afraid of falling asleep… But it works. For some time now, he falls asleep in your arms—once it was the other way around—but now both of you need it this way. He—for peace, you—for reassurance. Nights are the most painful because that's when he looks like he used to—calm, relaxed, and you just watch with tears filling your eyes at the rise and fall of his chest. You absorb this sight, take it in with both hands, but on the other hand, the thought of what the next morning will bring overwhelms you. Will his face be even more filled with pain when he gets up? Will the touch of his hands be even colder? You could think about it, but you still deluded yourself, hoping that maybe you would make progress, perhaps delay the inevitable even for just one day. Your feelings were so fresh, you were so young, and you were condemned to treat your closeness as if that day or night could be your last. When he slipped into sleep, you always stroked his hair, kissed his forehead, adoring his relaxed features—because that was your chance. Your chance to hold onto your boy as he once was. Sometimes, he comes to you in your dreams. You see a smiling boy from Tatooine in them, melting your heart, and when you wake up exhausted, it shatters into pieces—signaling the tragic reality where the boy from Tatooine walks through each day in agony and suffering. You told him so often that you loved him. Maybe out of obsession, maybe out of fear, or perhaps because even then, you already knew that if you said it one day, he might not understand anymore. Maybe he wouldn't even respond.
This awareness was pure pain, and though you tried to be strong for him, the sight of his silent suffering weakened you. His silent fear of himself. But you never feared him. You never will. And even when the face of your love fades, when the blue eyes dim and light up in red, he will still be as beautiful to you as that day when you lost him.
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teabutmakeitazure · 1 year
Text
Cogency of the Deluded - Part 2
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>Yan! Chrollo x Fem! Reader
>Word count: 1.8k
>a/n: A direct continuation of the first part! A bit of writing practise too oof
Part 1 | Part 3
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There’s restlessness in your limbs. Everything feels too much. You don’t know who or what you’re running from - if there even is anything that’s after you - but your legs work for you as they keep going despite the oxygen deficit in your muscles.
Someone calls your name. You can’t tell who, but the next thing you know there’s no more floor beneath your feet.
Your arms are now tied to a wooden chair’s armrests, legs tied as well. Before you could scream about the arms grabbing you from behind, everything goes blank.
From what it feels like, you’re lying down presumably in a bed. Tentatively moving your fingers, you keep your eyes closed as you feel the bedsheet under your palms. Next, you try moving your legs and realise that a blanket is on top of you.
So you were asleep?
Did you even wake up?
There’s a soft humming sound that instantly dies down when you groggily try to sit up, eyes shooting open in panic to check your surroundings.
It’s dark and a little cold. Did you leave the window open?
A page turns and you turn your head to find the source of the sound. It takes a bit of blinking for your eyes to adjust, but when they do, you find yourself greatly preferring the running in your dream than this.
“The window was locked,” he says without looking up.
It annoys you how casually he’s sitting at your desk reading something without the lamp on. Huffing, you plop back down onto the bed and turn to the other side.
“Why did you lock the window? I told you not to do that.”
“Force of habit,” you whisper, voice raspy from having just woken up.
"Seems like I'll have to change that."
You don't bother thinking about any implications in his words. Back turned to him, you attempt to go back to sleep but Chrollo doesn't seem to care about that.
"It seems like you were a good student. Your handwritten notes are quite comprehensive and thorough." He flips a page, the sound cutting through the silence and his hushed, deep voice sending a shiver down your spine. "It almost makes me want you more."
His bold declaration isn't graced with a reply with you merely keeping your eyes closed as you will sleep to quickly overtake you. Sleep does not heed your call and you're forced to listen to Chrollo ramble on.
"I couldn't find your yearbook, so will you please be dear and tell me where it is? I'd like to get a glimpse of your highschool days. Ah, I was also wondering about what quote you chose. I suppose that's also something I'd like to see."
"..."
"I don't think I've ever seen such a perfectly drawn benzene ring. Your illustrations of the chemical reactions are quite impressive. But then again, it is you who drew them."
"Chrollo…"
He turns to you, eyes boring into your back. "What is it?"
"It's the middle of the night. Go away."
Your voice is still raspy and heavy with sleep, but Chrollo finds it cute. A smile stretches on his face as he gets bolder, voice rising from a whisper to his normal tone.
"Why don't you come here and make me go away?"
"I wish I could… you'd just appear back from thin air."
"I don't think you're that helpless in this relationship, love."
You turn on your side again, eyes halfway open and dripping with sleep as they struggle to look at him. "You're just ignoring what you want to."
"Not at all," he states. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. All you have to do is ask me nicely, da-arling." The pet name was stretched out teasingly, the 'd' sound heavier on his tongue. All in all, he's starting to get on your nerves.
"Aren't you just so dramatically, extravagantly romantic?"
"What is a relationship if not a theatre?"
"Mm. You're a theatre kid. I forgot."
You hear Chrollo chuckle, and you almost relax at the sound. He seems to be in a good mood, so you don't have to mind your words more than you usually do. The added strain wouldn't have been good for your mind at this late hour.
"What was your CGPA when you graduated?"
Chrollo receives a curious look from you, but he stays firm with his own curiosity. He watches you sit up, blanket held up to cover your chest and notices how your voice sounds more awake.
"Hm… I'm not sure I remember." You give him a sly look before acting innocent. "I really don't remember. The most I recall is that I graduated valedictorian."
His eyes widened slightly, smile growing and voice slightly louder. "Really? That's impressive."
"Oh please," you scoff, "as if that's any feat to a 'mastermind' like you."
"An achievement is still an achievement. Besides, I'm not that good of a student."
You rest your head on your knees, the chilly air filling the room once again as the breeze picks up outside. "Right. You're more of a hands-on learner, a prodigy."
Chrollo simply smiles.
"What's the time?"
The question you voiced is met with a raised brow from Chrollo as he looks at you incredulously. "Worried about parents waking up?"
"I'm only asking the time," you shrug.
As you suspected, he picks up your phone from the table in front of him. Mind you, the phone was next to you when you fell asleep. You don't even bother with him knowing the password.
"It's 3: 47 am."
The confirmation of the late hour just makes you panic more. "It's that late? Why are you here then? Why aren't you in bed?"
"Well," he drawls, spinning on the revolving chair once, "I couldn't sleep, and then I recalled that I said I'd come visit you later. I couldn't just let you be, knowing that you'd be waiting for me with an unlocked window. To my quite shocking disappointment, you had it locked," he sighs. "I do appreciate your concern, [Name], but I'll be alright. I'll go through your yearbook another time. You should get some rest."
Frankly, the fact that he let you off the hook this easily is surprising to you so you couldn’t help the question that slipped your mouth. “Are you sick or something?”
To your added surprise, Chrollo lets out a little laugh. “No, the opposite actually. I’m feeling quite well.” The dead reminder of another little pest taken care of enters his mind and he chuckles again, reminding himself that he still needs to clean some evidence.
“I’ve never heard you laugh that much in under one hour…”
He rests his cheek on his fist and that’s when you realise that his forehead isn’t covered.
“Get some rest,” Chrollo requests. “I have some business to attend to for a day or two, so I won’t be able to see you.”
“Oh no. How will I go on without a criminal stalking me every hour of the day?” you deadpan. Honestly, you’re glad he’s in a good mood. If he received your sarcasm any other time, he’d give you a raised brow and then try and deliver a present or flowers while you weren’t at home. You are in no mood to explain expensive gifts to your parents, especially now that they’ve met Chrollo.
“Are you going to go to sleep by yourself or do you need me to tire you out to that extent?” The grin on his face looks insufferable. “I assure you, you’ll have a good rest.”
You don’t immediately respond, too busy trying to lie back down under the cover. Once you’re tucked in, you think over his words. Tire you out? Does he want to discuss hypothetical scenarios where he kills your friends one by one like he did last month? That certainly tired you out and you were out like a light as soon as you had hit the bed.
No… with that grin… is that an innuendo?
Just how much more does he want to take?
“Sorry but as you can see,” you point to the blanket with your eyes, “I’m too busy trying to sleep.” You pull the blanket over your face, blocking out the view of Chrollo leisurely watching you get comfortable in your bed.
You wish he’d go away already.
Now that the sleep has worn off a bit more, you can’t help but think of how messed up this is. Sure, he’s being nice and asking you to sleep, but he broke into your house again in the middle of the night and is sitting on your table and reading your highschool notebooks. Plus the notebooks were in the same cupboard your clothes are in.
You hadn’t moved them back into the attic yet, but here he is now! You just hope he didn’t snoop around your clothes or undergarments.
The blanket over your head is removed in a flash and tucked under your chin. The culprit is kneeling down in front of you, dark eyes drilling holes into yours with how intently he looks. What he says next actually startles you.
“If you’re unable to sleep, I can lie down with you.”
Words sputter out of your mouth frazzled at the offer. “You… I wouldn’t be able to get a wink of sleep then. Stay in the chair.”
The implicit accusation causes him to lightly frown, but with a sigh he compromises and sits on the edge of the bed, right next to your head. For once, you will yourself to get comfortable in his presence and close proximity. The capitulation is counter intuitive on your part, so you aren’t surprised when your heart rate simply increases, mind extremely aware of the added warmth near your face.
Your eyes are closed but your mind is more awake than it ever was on your most important examinations and interviews.
However, you find yourself being grateful that he hasn’t started petting you or something yet. Even the silence is welcomed with open arms. Anything is better than whatever Chrollo can offer you. Anything.
Judging by the feeling you have, you’re certain he’s watching you.
Sleep’s warm embrace tempts your mind and body, but your mind refuses. It’s hyper aware of the unwanted party and wills you to stay awake out of fear of danger.
But like how all things must go, the strength you have ends and you slip into slumber once again. The room is deafeningly quiet. The crickets outside fill the silence along with your relaxed breathing and Chrollo can’t help but smile.
When he gently calls your name and you don’t respond, he gets up and exits your room after he closes the window.
As he steps into the hallway, Chrollo genuinely hopes you cherish the days you have left inside this house.
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ughgoaway · 8 months
Text
the birthday party
content warnings: alludes to sex at one point, drinking, gross romantic stuff and uhhh I think that's it? word count- 2.7k ish
a/n: 2 fics in less than a week??? who am I?? anyway, I was actually lying earlier in the week and somehow managed to finish this just in time for my birthday!! sadly, this is not how I'm spending my day but I am gonna delude myself that it is!!! Unsurprisingly, I am not a fan of this fic and wrote like 2k in a night so please tell me if it's really bad... okay here it is, love youuuuu-
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You slam the door of your car and let out a sigh from deep within your chest. The day's weight feels heavy as you walk up to your silent house. The party your work had thrown you for your birthday ended up being less of a celebration and more of a hell hole you couldn't escape.
Sandra, your work “best friend” (a title she had given herself), had insisted on throwing you a party after finding out your birthday was at the end of the week. You insisted it was a small party and begged her for nothing big. And it began that way, just meeting in the conference room after work with a cake from Tesco, no dressing up, no gifts, just a small gathering.
As the week developed, your small get-together began to change and grow into something entirely new. Each email that came in had something added to the invite. Somehow, by the end of the week, it had changed to a semi-formal party, presents “optional” (necessary) with decorations and a personalised cake. 
Today had been bad enough before the party, endless incompetent people seemed to find their way to you. You'd been hit on by 2 men old enough to be your father, screamed at by a 40-year-old woman for being “a stupid bitch” and dealt with 4 more insane people.
The party was just as bad as you expected. The only thing keeping you together was the compliments on your outfit. Matty had helped you pick out the dress you were wearing the night before, insisting on helping you feel just a little bit better about the party. It was nothing much, a simple forest green cowl neck. A small slit went up the side of your leg that hit mid-thigh, you were sure it was too much for a work party but after Matty's never-ending spiel of compliments, you decided to wear it anyway.
You sat through the 2 speeches from your boss and your apparent new best friend before you managed to slip away. Yes, somehow you managed to sneak out of a party that was supposedly for you, but you weren't going to take that personally. You saw the opportunity and ran.
The strappy heels that were once on your feet sat in your hands as you walked up the path to your front door. There were no lights on, which was unusual for this time. You thought Matty would be home and waiting with open arms, but he was nowhere to be seen, his car not even in the driveway. 
You tried to mask your disappointment at your boyfriend not being home for your birthday, You're sure he just got caught up in the studio with George. A new idea probably came to him suddenly that he needed to get done then and there. You almost cursed his brain, but you could never curse the thing you loved so much.
The way you existed in his mind astonished you. Song after song was written about you, each one more beautiful than the last and each one changed how you perceived yourself. You used to insist the person who he sang about wasn't real, that she couldn't be. But demo after demo was played to you with Matty insisting you are real, and you are exactly how he sings about you.
You were this unimaginable force that changed his life in a way he only thought was possible in shitty teen movies. He was enamoured by you, every waking thought was about you, and if he was honest, even his non-waking thoughts were about you. He felt higher than heaven when he was with you, not that he would ever tell you that as he's sure you would cringe and scrunch your nose up at his cheesy behaviour.
The key clicked in the lock, and your door screeched open. Your cat came running at you and began rubbing on your legs. “Hi baby,” you began, turning the entryway light on and sighing once again, “I've got to grease those door hinges, don't I nutmeg?” Your cat had been adopted long before Matty came into your life. Well, adopted was a strong word. You found him hidden under the bins outside your old flat, once a skinny kitten, but he was now a slightly too chunky house cat who loved you more than life itself. Matty always joked that his only real competition for the thing that loved you most in the world was nutmeg, but he insisted he beat him every time.
you drop your heels on the floor and shut the door behind you, wincing at the squeak it lets out. Only to jump where you stood at the sight in front of you.
“Surprise!” rang out from the lounge room, your friends and family all stood with hats and smiles as they stared at you.
Tears streamed down your face as you laughed at the sight in front of you, streamers hung from the beams and balloons coming from every where.
You briefly look around at the people in front of you before your eyes are drawn directly to him, just as they always were.
Matty came strolling up and pulled you in for a brief kiss before escorting you into the sea of people that faced you. 
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
After 40 minutes of pure joy and mingling, you managed to pull away to get a drink. You enter the kitchen and grab a cup off the side before moving further in to find whatever alcohol you could.
You eventually settle on a Jack and Coke, You spy them on the other side of the kitchen and walk over to make your drink. More Jack than Coke if you are honest.
You take a sip and sigh as the drink slides down your throat, the glass clinks as you place it back down on the counter to take a breath.
Quickly, a pair of hands slide over your hips and settle on your stomach, You know exactly who it is by the scent of his cologne and the feeling of his warmth.
Matty pulls you into his body, your back against his chest. He begins pressing small kisses up the side of your neck and smiles as he hears your poorly suppressed giggles slipping out.
"So what do you think beautiful?" he asked, whispering into your ear before pressing yet another kiss behind it.
You slide around in his arms, his hands cheekily slipping down to grip your ass before sliding up to rest on your waist again. You shoot him a faux disapproving look but soon break out into a large smile at the pure adoration on your boyfriend's face.
"I think it's amazing. Thank you so much, baby," you say, kissing Matty. But you quickly pull away, much to the distaste of your boyfriend who lets out an upset grumble. "It explains all your suspicious behaviour over the last few weeks…" you say teasingly, raising your eyebrows and smiling at the man in front of you before leaning in for another kiss.
This time, however, it was Matty rejecting your advances as he pulled away and looked down at you teasingly.
"Oh, I've been suspicious, have I?" he said, leaning further back of your grip, causing the pair of you to begin walking back together until the kitchen counter stopped you, and you pressed into Matty.
"Please do tell love, how was I being suspicious, huh?" he said with a mocking lilt to his voice, leaning in and teasing your lips with his own. His breath tickled your lips, and he kept evading your moves.
“Well…”  you begin smiling gleefully at your boyfriend, nervous to explain how he's been suspicious, worrying hell realise just how much time you spend lovingly watching him. Some would say creepily, you're sure, but you say lovingly.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
You begin with the first thing you noticed, Matty's phone was suddenly attached to him. Usually, he had no idea where his phone was at any given time, believing everyone should be more present and leave their phones at home.
If anyone asked him about it, he would then begin to go on a long rant about the internet and his qualms with it. It was at that point you interrupted and just told whoever he was talking to to listen to “a brief inquiry” and “notes” if they wanted his thoughts on that subject.
But recently you'd noticed he hadn't been asking you 100 times a day “Babe, have you seen my phone?” like he usually did when he left it somewhere in your concrete mansion of a home. Every text and call was immediately answered, and some calls were even taken in the other room. You wrote it off as secret dirty hit business, trying not to delude yourself into thinking something more.
But it was last Sunday when you became sceptical of your boyfriend's new attachment to his phone. 
The sun was streaming through the windows to the courtyard, decorating the house in golden hues that danced over the walls. You and Matty had woken up starving (probably due to the events of the night before) and decided to make breakfast.
So you did, like a couple in a rom-com. Matty's hair was messy, and his pyjama trousers sat low on his hips. He had forgone a shirt this morning as it had been stolen by you. You danced around him in one of his many Jeff Buckley shirts with nothing but panties underneath. 
You swung around in each other's arms and stared into the other's eyes like lovesick teenagers. You put a hand up and began twisting the curls surrounding Matty's face. The other hand slid behind his neck and began to massage the curls back there. A content hum slipped out your boyfriend's mouth, and his eyes fluttered close at the feeling.
You stared in awe at the man in front of you, almost feeling sick to your stomach with affection. You traced each freckle on his face, mentally keeping count before getting distracted by his flittering eyelashes. You marvel at their length and briefly wonder why men always get such long eyelashes.
Before that thought overtakes your mind, you get distracted by another feature on your beautiful boyfriend's face, the light blush that decorates his cheeks. You stroke over the apples of his cheeks and resist the urge to pinch them like a grandmother.
The same pink that flushed his cheeks sat on his plump lips that were begging to be kissed, so you did. You pecked his lips over and over before moving to his cheeks, then his forehead and soon over his whole face. 
His laughter soon broke the pair of you up and in a smitten daze Matty suggested a shower, you nodded and told him to go get it started while you put the dishes away. He happily ran up the stairs to start the shower and you giggled at your boyfriend's teenage excitement.
His phone buzzed on the concrete counter and you fought the internal battle of whether to look, your rational side saying not too soon lost out to intense curiosity.
A message from his mum sat on the screen simply saying, “Oh love, that's perfect. y/n will adore it.”
“Huh… so maybe not dirty hit business” you spoke out quietly to yourself, You soon put the phone down and ran up to the shower where your boyfriend was waiting ready to undress you.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Okay, so maybe I was on my phone a bit more than usual but that can't be it! Surely that alone can't be suspicious” Matty said looking down at you with a grin on his face. 
“Well no… There was that message from your mum too!” You say before whispering something under your breath, “and that other thing...”
“Other thing?” Matty said, leaning back to examine your face, narrowing his eyes at your expression.
You stay silent at bite your lip at him, shaking your head at his questioning glare. 
“No, no. Come on baby, what else made you realise something was up hmm” Matty said. You kept on moving your head from side to side, avoiding his gaze, knowing you'd crumble as soon as you looked at him.
Finally, he gripped your head between his hands and pressed kisses over your face, hoping it would get you to break. 
It did.
“Fine! Fine!” You relent at your boyfriend's onslaught of pecks, “There was the sock drawer thing...” you say quietly, looking up at Matty, who wore a puzzled expression.
“Sock drawer thing?” he asked confusedly, “I'm gonna need more than that babe” he said, a smile clear in his voice.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was the Wednesday of the week of your birthday, Matty's phone had still been attached at the hip to him but you gave up questioning it, thinking he was just feeling more social lately. 
You sat up at the head of your bed, your pillows behind your back and the duvet crumpled over your legs as you read your book. The shower was running in your ensuite, Matty needed one before a meeting at the office.
Soon the shower stopped and after a groan, a voice rang out behind the door. “Babe!” Matty began, “I forgot to get pants and a pair of socks, can you grab me some?”
You smiled at your boyfriend's forgetfulness, knowing he wasn't exactly a morning person, “Of course my love” you reply softly sliding the duvet off your legs and padding across the room to his drawer.
Your hand had barely grabbed the handle before he came rushing out and shouting, “WAIT! NO, NO NO” he stared at you with wild eyes. You shot back and lifted your hands in mock surrender to your boyfriend.
You took in his look, his shirt was half-buttoned but around his waist was just his towel. His curls were sopping wet and dripping on the floor, he was panting and staring at you with unnaturally wide eyes. 
“Sorry babe... Uhh..” he struggled to finish his sentence, looking around the room as if to find an excuse for his erratic behaviour. 
“Just… didn't want you to get out of bed s’all” he said pausing briefly, a nervous smile broke out across his face, “You looked so cosy reading so just… go get settled again”
You looked suspiciously at your boyfriend before nodding and walking back to bed silently. The rest of the day went as expected, Matty kissed you goodbye before his meeting and you went to work where you were bombarded with questions from Sandra about your “big day”.
But you didn't forget his wild eyes and odd behaviour.
—---------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Oh yeah!” Matty said, laughing at himself, “All the decorations were stashed in there so I couldn't have you snooping around” he explained causally.  “But that was very odd of me. Were you expecting a party” he asked with a tilt of his head.
He watched your cheeks heat up as you stammered to explain what you expected, not wanting to make him feel pressured.
Eventually, you just spat it out, “Well… I kind of thought you might be proposing to me,” you say cautiously. You watch your boyfriend's eyes widen, and your hand shoots up to his chest to soothe him. 
“Don't freak out, okay!!” You beg him, “It was just the combination of a few things that made me think that. But PLEASE do not feel pressured. We will get married when we do. There is no rush from me, I promise”
You wait with bated breath at his reaction, hoping it wouldn't be running and screaming. Soon, he broke out in wild laughter, much to your relief.
Once his laughter died down, he pulled you in closer and squeezed you lightly, “Not yet sweetheart, but I will eventually, don't you worry.” You smiled at his words and let yourself melt into his embrace.
Little did you know, upstairs in that sock drawer was a ring, no decorations having been stashed there. Just a little velvet box and a written speech prepared for next week, your 6th anniversary.
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the-l00ker · 2 months
Text
I need to know. I do.
So people... Genuinely believe... The AI generated looking account of being Shelby's cousin is real?
For context someone who said they were Shelby's cousin blames shelby for the abuse, said she mad them cry and that she did it to herself. And that she was yelling at Wilbur and to support Wilbur.
Shelby commented on it saying that she only had one cousins and it clearly wasn't them.
Now people are questioning why "she got so defensive" to a fan account.
Context over.
All I have to say is... BITCH ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND?-
Your going to tell me, WITH CONFIDENCE Shelby, her friends and her family don't know who own cousin is?
Your going to tell me that everything Shelby's said doesn't line up? "he had hole in his walls" Fundy did a vlog with Wilbur that showed IN THE VIDEOS that Wilbur did indeed have holes in his walls. Fundy even said it looked gross.
"he was violent" over the last couple years. Not now. YEARS. Content creator and non-content creator have said be was a violent man.
Minx said he was violent but was written off as an alcoholic.
Bilzo was written off as a small content creator.
Niki was told she should THANK HIM because he made her.
Other were seen as clout-chasers.
And it took one, mentally stable and popular person to be like "Hey he's a bad guy" for people to go back and look huh.. Maybe he is bad.
There are people who already knew and were being validated. People who were annoyed because they said there piece and got shit for it and now had people back-tracking when it was too late.
Heck even Scott Smajor said Live on stream that he'd obliviously knew longer then anyone else and that's why Wilbur was no longer in MCC videos.
And suddenly your like, "she's getting a bit defensive isn't she?" Well yeah.
She's human.
That's like telling someone, "your family didn't actually get hurt", "they did. You know they did" then them being like "OMG THEY'RE SINGLING ME OUT THIS PROVES THEY'RE LYING!"
Do you know how stupid that sounds when you write it out. And then to assume that no one talked to anyone in private about anything?
Do you really think that Wilbur's friends AND random people would have co-ordinate an attack on him for like 3-5 years straight?
And this is straight the Emma situation. People are seeing that you can create a "successful" allegations using AI and have younger audiences BELIEVE IT.
You assume this allegation is true but don't assume that someone could be using AI to write that (because it was screenshot of text with a popular image of Wilbur in the background) because they like him?
Did you not assume that maybe... Just maybe, someone would (like Emma) make up some random BS for personal gain and then exploit it?
Did you not assume that with an Apology come with the acknowledgement that you did those things? Because Wilbur didn't deny it. He expressed he did do it actually, he just did a terrible job of justify it.
Did your assumption not lead you to the conclusion that text is easier to fake then a real person with real tears telling you?
Did you not assume that it's become a trend to fake things for clout?
Did you not look back and go "but there was tons of evidence BEFORE shelby said anything"?
Did you not go back and think, shelby's a person and she's allowed to be upset. She also knows her own family and probably know the social media account that her family uses, so it can't certainly be that person?
Or do you have your values so far up, that you cannot see AI when its right in front of you.
If you can't see one of these many things, then either you need to think about yourself and do some soul searching or your genuinely deluded.
There was even a comment say it looks like an AI generated response, and guess what? When I went back to take a ss of it for this post the user had suddenly been reported and suddenly couldn't use there account.
Weird right?
Also it you're a "oh I'm neutral on the matter. I don't support anyone" person. I hope you seek a conclusion because you clearly can't see the one in front of you.
And to the "But what if was really?" or "support Wilbur" squad. Refer to all previous points and if you still have this opinion, I kindly ask you to leave. Touch grass. Go back to school. And to hopefully better yourself as a person.
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yanderestarangel · 1 year
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☆You Are Mine - Yandere Adler Russell - part 1.
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A/N: There will be a second part in the future, when my creativity comes back it's a modern au but nothing that changes the character of Adler.
Tw: Yandere themes, afab reader, male pronouns used, vague description reader.
Yandere adler russell! that when he met you you were helping Mason with some papers for his college internship, to the man's face you were sitting in the big armchair in the living room absentmindedly writing on the clipboard some information about the "experienced fbi agent". you had no idea that he worked at the CIA.
Russell caught eyes on you, looking you up and down while you didn't even mind his entrance.
Mason came from the kitchen soon seeing his old friend, Adler justified his sudden entrance with: "-The door was open and I decided not to wait to be received at the entrance." Giving a slight smile while still greeting his friend, and finally his face lit up with his eyes focused on the lens of his glasses now.
You smiled and soon Mason introduced Russell to you, you were shy at first with the size of the man and his frowning face, but soon you shook his hand lightly and gave an excuse to leave your tutor's house saying that you would be back another time.
Russell saw you leave with some notebooks in your hand, accompanying a backpack on your shoulder, walking casually through the fence and the small white wooden gate already open, following your path.
Russell soon wondered who you were getting a quick explanation from Mason but that didn't satisfy him, he needed more.
So the involuntary encounters took place, all at Mason's house, sometimes you stood in a quiet corner hoping not to disturb both men but Adler always stared at you, he wanted to understand why he was so obsessed with you, if it was your angelic face, if it was your skin that looked so fragrant and soft, if her hands were so delicate. Probably yes.
All the sickest thoughts ran through Russell's head as he stared at you and Mason found himself in the kitchen, getting himself some drink.
Adler then collected all the data about you, where you lived, who you were, your hobbies even your friends and what you had for breakfast, it all started too fast for him.
Adler looked at you as if he were going to let the dirty thoughts that crowded his head get the better of him every time he saw you.
Soon thoughts of him are disturbed by Mason who brought the drinks and finally something seemed to catch Adler's attention, but he couldn't stop looking at you.
You were so oblivious and lost in your thoughts...
He would love to lock you up in a cute, luxurious cage just for you.
Every day, without even saying a word to the man he found himself deluded in a world of dreams and daydreams, he thought you were too shy to speak and throw yourself at his feet, he was mighty the monster of America he could give you and take the world, why did you seem not to care about it?
He's practically begging you to pay attention to him.
Note Adler Russell.
Note your fucking future owner.
Adler now only shows up on days you're at Mason's house, and the way you don't seem to even notice him, you're such a beautiful thing, you shouldn't be so oblivious next to a world of men so wild, they can take advantage. from you.
It was the thought that haunted Adler the most as the man drank his whiskey and put it back on the kitchen counter, looking at the computer one of your pictures taken of you distracted on campus and quickly the man switched to the cameras in his apartment, seeing his beautiful body lying on the covers, you are an angel... Russell's angel.
But Adler's patience ran out and it was his fault, even if you didn't even know it.
The height of Adler's madness was on a Saturday, the man was going to Mason's house early again, it was your last day doing the internship at the man's house and he wasn't going to stop getting closer to you, he in his delirious head, thinks that your smiles of pure sympathy or your "good morning" to him, were like a code for him to take you as his.
Adler was as tidy as ever, a small bag in his hand with the gift you've wanted for ages (Adler listened to all your conversations and notepads and selected the one you wanted most at that moment) he was feeling like a young man in love again. in his house of 46 years old and extremely distorted exciting.
Russell knocked on Mason's door vigorously, soon becoming aware of the sound of water and joyful screams.
The man took a spare key heading towards where the sound was coming from, the back pool.
Seeing you in a bikini, showing off your beautiful skin you were practically naked in Adler's eyes, he didn't even know how to react, you weren't alone, with a boy practically his age with you smiling and very close to each other.
Russell approached, his face serious, asking you where Mason was.
- Mr Russell, he left, as it's my last day here he let me use the pool, he comes back at 12 and-" You spoke sweetly leaving the pool running towards Russell, he swore he wanted to grab you right there over his shoulder and take you from there to the most secluded place he could, don't you get it Y/N? This guy is practically devouring you with his eyes.
Adler thanked himself for wearing a jacket that covered the bulge in his pants and resolved to nod curtly and go back inside.
He wanted to kill the guy who was with you.
It didn't matter if it was a friend or acquaintance or love interest.
Adler wanted to blow the bastard's brains out on the wall.
But he controlled himself as he watched the bulge go down while trying to breathe and calm down.
You had never spoken to him so much either.
Adler was practically jumping up and down with joy, his voice was so sweet he wanted to kneel down and fuck you ass for being so perfect.
A few minutes passed and by some miracle the boy who was accompanying you in the shower left without passing Russell, maybe the dog privilege came in handy this time.
You walked back into the house, wet skin and a button-up shirt covering your ass but there was still a lot of you.
Were you doing it on purpose?
You walked past the older man covering yourself up a bit and trying to look friendly.
He really wanted to understand, didn't you see? He was crazy about you.
You sat across from the man fiddling with his cell phone and sheepishly offering to call your tutor Mason, Adler declined looking at his perfect shy face as he spoke to him, did you notice the bag in front of the man, saying he knew the store and that he should costing a lot for being a designer ( even not knowing what was inside, desperation made you try to arrange something with the man. )
Russell smiled and said it was for you, he lied sweetly saying it was just a souvenir for his internship effort.
You found it strange but happily accepted it, opening up and seeing his present material fixation, you really were in disbelief wondering how he knew.
Your joy was such that even without being intimate with the older man, you quickly got up from your position and hugged him.
Russell couldn't believe it, he hated touch, but his...
He felt like a young man in love again.
He fought the intrusive thoughts and soon hugged you, it didn't last long as Mason had arrived.
Russell left shortly after making up an excuse, saying he would talk to your friend later. Russell felt invigorated and he had a huge problem now, the wetness in his underwear and the feeling of getting rid of anyone who came near you.
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olderthannetfic · 6 months
Note
My big pet peeve: Fandom stating something as fact that isn't. Especially when it comes to queer identities. It fucking isn't a fact stop peddling it as such. If you're someone who says fuck canon then that's your choice, but it isn't going to stop that the canon character isn't queer and that you're lying about the situation. Seriously I'm about to smash my head against the wall with how many people have been recommending "Queer literature" in servers and groups and literally not a single character is queer, or it's like the character no ones gives a shit about.
But it has queer subtext. Mofo's at some point you gotta admit you're just deluding yourself into reading that queer subtext, because this 2 line interaction was the driest shit ever, and you did your damnedest to turn it into kindling.
Just ends up with a bunch of literally non-queer stories being put with actual queer stories. As if we didn't have enough trouble getting good queer stories especially by queer authors.
--
God, especially if they're actually using a term like 'queer literature', which traditionally has some strong implications beyond just 'contains at least one queer person'.
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youremyheaven · 9 months
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August Pick A Card Psychic Reading 🦋🦢
Hello lovelies 💛Venus is in retrograde at the moment and I feel like the energy has been shifting in interesting directions for many of us. Today's PAC will be focused on where this will take you in the month of August💛 To continue, pick an emoji 👀
1. 🐯
2. 🦀
3. 🐼
4. 🦚
PILE 1 🐯
congratulations! you have been waiting to receive this news for a long time it seems and well? here it is! life may have been seeming like an endless wait but good news is here. you should approach this new opportunity with preparation. life rewards those who are prepared. you need not worry too much because this is something you're definitely capable of doing, however, it may not come easy at first. hang in there, it WILL get better. there's no need to fret. think of this experience as a preparation for bigger blessings. be kind to yourself. be open to receiving help. don't push people away. you can do this but you need others to guide you along the way. success is not created in isolation.
PILE 2 🦀
im sorry for what you've gone through. times have been tough for you and im so sorry that you were treated that way. you're probably experiencing a bout of low self esteem and that's okay. we all have our moments, but please this is not forever! this is a passing moment and please don't lose perspective of the fact that this is not how you will feel forever. feelings are temporary. this is fleeting. even if you feel like you're at fault, don't dwell on feelings of self-blame. you may have made a mistake but we're all human and we all make mistakes. ITS OKAY, it may feel terrible right now but this is not what defines you as a person. please go easy on yourself.
PILE 3 🐼
oh lordy lord, you are a hustler, aren't you? you need to find time to sit down and RELAX. you've been working yourself to the bone and if you keep going, you will burn out pretty bad. you've been giving too much of your power away. you may be the boss babe at work but in your personal life, you're kind of a doormat. stop letting people walk all over you!!! block those people and just move on, honestly. your desperation makes others look down on you. don't let people see you like this. where is your pride? keep your chin up and know you're better than however you're letting the people in your life treat you. its okay to be the bad guy. be the villain if you have to but please choose yourself. if someone wants you they will make an effort to keep you in their life. but they're doing none of that, so MOVE ON.
PILE 4 🦚
baby 🥺why are you doing this to yourself? you know deep down what the truth of the situation is and you also know what you need to do but you so desperately want to be deluded, so you're letting yourself be blinded by this illusion and its hurting you soooo bad 😩please dont do this. you need to have the courage to face the music and accept things as they are. you can keep lying to yourself but it didn't help then and it won't help you now. you can keep pretending everything is sunshine and rainbows but sooner rather than later, the bandaid will be ripped off and you will feel the sting and honestly half the pain, you've caused yourself. pick yourself up. have the dignity to hold yourself accountable. you know the right thing to do and its not this.
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lokisprettygirl · 2 years
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Use me as you please - (Loki x female reader ) (Smut) (18+) (Part 4)
Read Chapter 1 2 3
Summary : You ask Loki to spit on your face
Warning: Minors DNI , 18+ , SPIT KINK ,Verbal degradation, Dacryphilia, A little bit of dumbification, Reader loves being debased, consensual kinks, dom loki
Note : Don't mind me ..just a horny hoe passing by. Honestly there's no limit to things I'd allow my god to do to me
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You being all dolled up in lingerie and full face of makeup will always be his favorite sight. He could never get enough of you, he knew you were in one of those moods where you wanted him to degrade you, but something about today felt different. He rolled the sleeves of his black button up shirt and walked towards you, you were on your knees, looking at him with those glassy eyes of yours. 
"You are so beautiful darling but you look like a whore" he grabbed your chin and made you look at him while his other hand unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt, he knew how much you loved looking at those small chest hair on his sternum, they always made you feel so fuzzy. 
You bit on your lip as the sight of his exposed skin made you want to lick him up instantly. 
"Dadddddy pleasee " you whimpered and he smiled as he leaned down to kiss you softly and then he spoke to you, his warm breath tickled your nose 
"So that's it baby, you want me to hurt you tonight but with a touch of love? Want me to ruin you while I tell you how good you are for me?" Your eyes teared up as that's exactly what you wanted. That's exactly what you craved. You could smell his perfume and it intoxicated you even further, sending you deeper in your happy space and you just wanted him to destroy you very softly
"Yes please my god, that's exactly what I want pleasee" you whined and he snickered. He loves you more than anything in the world but norns he sure loved debasing you like this, more so because he knows that you actually craved such treatment from him, you craved degradation and you desired it just from him. You are his whore for life and he will keep reminding you of your worth whenever you would want him to.
"Get on the floor, don't make me slap that pretty face when I'm trying to be nice to you" you quickly slid down from the edge of the bed and sat down on the floor, you'd be lying if you say you didn't want to feel the burn of his palm against your cheeks, all of them. 
"You can bruise me up and I will thank you for putting your godly hands on me" the bulge forming in his pants just made him more and more uncomfortable. He has been alive for thousands of years, fucked the most whorish men and women on Asgard and then on midgard as well but you are by far his favorite one, also the one he cherishes the most. The one he plans to marry someday. 
"Tell me what you need pretty whore?" he caressed your cheek with his thumb and you looked at him, he could see the lust swimming in them, there were no thoughts in your head at the moment but just the desperation to be used. 
"Mmm it's filthy but I need you to do it for me" he snickered as you said that
"Oh you dumb little pet, you have cleaned my shoes with your tongue and my cum off the floor, dont delude yourself into thinking that you have any dignity left. Let me ruin whatever self respect you still carry in your delusional heart" you squeezed your thighs as his words made you want to worship him, he was extremely filthy when he knew that this was exactly what you wanted from him. You wanted to become his slave, his pet, his whore, his lover all at once
"Mmmm god you are so right, I'm just a worthless little whore and I want to prove it to you, want to make you proud, I need you to spit on me daddy please" his eyes flickered with several different emotions, he has told you before that there are several lines he'd never cross no matter how much you want it , he would never hurt you in a way that would leave any lasting impression on your mind or your body.
He wanted all this play to end right here in the bed, right after you're both done orgasming he turned into the kindest nicest man to you because you were his precious woman, the love of his life. You trusted him with all this depravity and he wanted to make you so happy, and to be fair this isn't the worst thing you have asked him to do to you. The request turned him on as well
"You nasty little animal, want me to spit on your face hmm?" he cupped your cheeks and bent down to kiss you sloppily, his tongue played with yours and he could taste the flavor of strawberries you ate during dessert. 
He gripped your hair in his fist pulling your hair back and you closed your eyes, the first one landed on your forehead, it was warm and sticky, you just wanted to relish in the feeling, that was your god and he just spat on your face like you were nothing but a can of trash 
"Fuccckkk yess oh yesss..that's it" your lips trembled as you spoke, the filthy nature of the act send your mind inti an overdrive of emotions
"Look at me" he commanded you and you opened your eyes, they were teary and as much as it turned him on he wanted to make sure you really were enjoying this debasement 
"That feels good, baby?" He asked you softly and you nodded 
"More please do it again, paint my face daddy" you begged him like a cheap whore and he complied immediately. How could he ever deny it? He covered your face until you were satisfied, shivering and just a few squeeze of your thighs together was enough to make you explode. You didn't even ask for permission nor did he mind that. The fact that he could just make you orgasm by doing something so perverse to you was enough to boost his ego. 
"Open your mouth, taste me baby" you eagerly opened your mouth, took your tongue and he spat right on it. You hummed as you swallowed him in, he was delicious, each and every inch of him was.
"Such a good girl for daddy and the trashiest whore he had ever met, I love you" he mumbled as he picked you up from the floor and you opened your eyes when the warm water cascaded down your face wiping his spit off.
"Gosh thank you, that was cathartic" you mumbled and he undressed you both with a click of his finger. 
"You sure know how to make me fall in love more and more everyday darling" he picked you up, pressed you against the wall and fucked you so tenderly you almost forgot your own name. 
He couldn't help but wonder what was the limit for you when it comes to degradation, you would allow him to do anything to you and the thought overwhelmed him.
And he knew that you would surprise him with something again, very soon.
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?
How rare are false memories/recovering/creating false memories? I’ve heard it’s pretty rare. And that a lot of the time, when you have a feeling that you may have an issue that people wouldn’t usually jump to without any reason/strong thought into the idea, that that’s a pretty good indicator that there IS something there.
If someone has a lot of feelings that something bad happened to them, something they don’t remember, and they have strange feelings associated with certain things, how likely is it that they’d end up foraging fake memories of something happening? Is it actually a rare occurrence, or would it be something someone trying to work through their trauma would have to watch out for and try not to do?
The last thing i’d want to do is make false memories of being hurt and delude myself into believing it’s true when it isn’t.
Hello,
There aren't hard numbers on false memories or on how many people recover memories. It's complicated because of how both normal memory and memories of trauma are created.
If you have no basis to prove if it did or didn't happen, like if there were no reports at the time etc, then you can't scientifically prove how many abuse survivors have false memories.
What we do know is that memories when recalled can shift in details, this doesn't make the core of them false or that no memory of abuse is reliable. All this shows is that memory is not an exact replay of events normally.
Most completely fabricated abuse memory incidents we know for sure were tied to the person having their memory influenced. Like a parent, police officer, therapist, researcher or other person who has power. We know that you can be convinced something happened. But this doesn't apply the same way to memories a person remembers outside of situations with influence.
Traumatic content like body memories, flashbacks, panic attacks, severe dissociation and other somatosensory elements are not as easy to force into someone. Non-abusive situations where false memories happen don't generally come with this content.
As for trying to force recovery of memory, there is very little science that shows this as something that is a good idea or safe. There is a difference between memories that surface due to being safe, being in a new traumatic situation, or things related to structural dissociation and forcing recovery. You can completely fabricate things with these processes yes, but more likely is to confuse real memories and re-traumatize yourself if there is trauma you're carrying. 
Completely fabricated memories of abuse are definitely not incredible common. A lot of the push for people to belive that abuse survivors are all lying do not come from scholarly work. There is lots of science about the ability to influence memory, and recall confabulated memories, but none of this reports actual epidemic of false abuse memories. However, please please be safe with how you go about working with trauma you might carry in your body. 
Anxiety, depression, hypervigilance, body memories, panic attacks etc that you might be experiencing would likely be what you would want to start dealing with. Learning coping skills and working through the struggles you currently have could be very healing without having to start by trying to force memories. Memories are of course important to healing, they are not the be-all end-all and definitely not the place you would start healing anyway. And there are therapeutic techniques that require very little memory in the first place. 
If you feel like something is wrong there is likely something you are dealing with even if you don't know the source of your struggle. Your emotions and perspective are so so so important. Do not dismiss your body, but please be careful in how you do so. Do not force yourself .
Hope this helps,
-Admin 1
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viatagrinner · 1 year
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Gilbert von Obsidian. Chapter 6. His Story.
I want to possess Miss Bunny.
My heart no longer aches when I see dead people.
(You did your best.)
The place where I stepped, carrying Miss Bunny, was a cruel sight.
I was greeted by the smell of blood, which could not be fooled by the sweet and fragrant scent, the petals falling to the ground, pouring out a spreading reddish-black liquid.
In the center stood a cruel and merciless beast in a white cloak with red spots, and I could feel Miss Bunny trembling in my arms.
(This is true. Even the prince you believe in is, after all, a powerful man...)
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(This is the same as me, who can kill such people without being accused of a crime.)
(Although this is "dirtier" than expected.)
Miss Bunny is holding his mouth with a pale face.
I felt a sense of nostalgia at the sight of her.
(I used to be like this when I first started.)
Gilbert: Miss Bunny, is everything okay?
MC: ....I'm.... okay....Oh...
Gilbert: Really? Well, there's no reason to force yourself to look. It's messy, so let's not go near it.
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(The more one can think of others as oneself, the greater the backlash.)
(Well, I brought a companion here, knowing that...)
While I was secretly giggling at the trembling Miss Bunny, a familiar face emerged from the shadows of the pavilion.
Clavis: Well, well, well, Prince Gilbert. Aren't you torturing our Miss Bunny too much?
Clavis: I didn't expect you to bring her to a place like this.
Gilbert: Haha, this is so unexpected. I only brought her here because Miss Bunny said she was looking for Chevalier.
Clavis: Um, how did you know my brother was here?
Gilbert: Because I saw Chevalier the other day.
I'm not lying.
I left Miss Bunny this morning to "check a certain place," which has nothing to do with the present situation, but when I returned to court, Chevalier had gone out into the garden in the opposite direction.
I have every person's movements in my head. I can easily imagine what is going to happen next...
Not wanting to miss such an opportunity, I hurriedly picked up Miss Bunny, and here we are.
(Clavis is obviously suspicious of me. I'm sure he thinks I'm the one who put this whole thing together.)
This does not mean, however, that he is deluded.
There are many people who harbor a grudge against Chevalier, and it is worth it to mislead them even a little, and they will immediately take such shortsighted action.
(That's not a very clever way to hire an assassin to attack him easily. ......)
("Anti-Monarchy" groups are not professionals in this field, and it is not an option.)
I thought that if one of the seeds I planted sprouted and bloomed, I would show it to Miss Bunny someday. In that sense, it was as good as "planted".
Without saying a word, Chevalier wipes away the blood and puts his sword in its scabbard.
This is everyday life for him.
Gilbert: Chevalier, the rabbit wanted to get to you.
Chevalier: ..........
There is fear reflected in Miss Bunny's clear eyes.
MC: Er... You seem to be busy, so I'll change the date.
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Chevalier: .........
Chevalier turned away without saying anything.
(Well, I wonder what Miss Bunny will do after that).
(Will you try to approach him, realizing he has a ruthless and cold side, or will you turn away from him?)
(...Will you continue to believe in the goodness of people as you used to, or will you fall into disbelief?)
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I can't wait to see what Miss Bunny chooses to do.
Clavis: I owe you an apology for showing the young lady something you shouldn't, ...Cyril.
Clavis summons one of the knights disposing of the corpses.
The knight with flamboyant red hair is a former soldier from Obsidian's military training facility.
(It's been a while since I've seen him, but he seems to be feeling fine.)
Clavis: It's almost dinnertime. Prepare a feast for Lord Gilbert.
Gilbert: No way, are you going to separate me and Miss Bunny?
Clavis: Oh. You're not exactly conducive to comforting a broken-hearted young lady. ....No, you're too much.
Clavis: The young lady would be more than happy to be alone with me, wouldn't she?
Gilbert: That's not true. You'd be so sad to be separated from me, you'd cry.
MC: I'm not alone, so it's okay.
Gilbert: Do you know the word "flattery"?
MC: I think Prince Gilbert would hate me if I said something I didn't mean.
Gilbert: Hmm...you're right. You are clever.
(Some people never learn, but Miss Bunny is a good, honest person.)
Gilbert: Okay. I don't know what mean Clavis is up to, but I'm hungry.
(....He's a gentleman, I'm sure he'll take good care of Miss Bunny.)
(It's not something I could do, so I'll just leave you to him here.)
Gilbert: I'm going to torment your knight and blind him, so get the little hare back as soon as possible, okay?
Cyril: ....Goodbye, my peace of mind.
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Before I put Miss Bunny down, I vented my malice at him for choosing Clavis over me.
Gilbert: Be careful that Clavis doesn't intimidate you.
Gilbert: He's more dangerous than me, isn't he?
(In many ways.)
The expression on Miss Bunny's face tensed, and I could barely contain a smile.
Perhaps she should have taken that warning seriously.
(No, I said it seriously.)
(It's probably physical labor now. I can almost guess how comforting Clavis is.)
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(Do your best, Miss Bunny.)
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Cyril: ...I don't understand Prince Gilbert.
On the way to the dining room, after saying goodbye to Miss Bunny and the others, Cyril, who was walking ahead, spoke.
Gilbert: Oh, you mean what I'm thinking about right now? Of course, I'm thinking about the next bad thing.
Gilbert: I'll be in the pit after this, so I might as well get an invitation to the evening in exchange for it...
Gilbert: How about ...killing the noblewoman who hurt Miss Bunny's leg?
Cyril: ...Don't give us any problems.
Gilbert: Ha-ha, you're not in your place, are you?
Cyril: Or rather, not... we want to know what Prince Gilbert is up to.
(I get it.)
The capable ex-military man knows all too well what members of the Obsidian royal family are like.
It is natural to be wary of unreadable malice.
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(There's only one thing I desire. ...I desire Miss Bunny.)
Not literally.
(To defile her pure and chaste heart, "I want you to sympathize with me.")
(However, if you want to meet face-to-face without sympathy, that's fine, too.)
(I want to isolate her by subjecting her to bad intentions, and then see what choice she makes).
I "desire" in that sense, but it's not something I would say to a knight of an enemy country.
Gilbert: I won't tell the traitor anything.
Cyril: ...Right.
Gilbert: Hmmm...
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(I can't wait to possess my hands on Miss Bunny.)
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Gilbert's Masterlist
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I hate whenever ableists insist that my life is sooo hard and tragic for the mere fact of me being disabled, and that I'm sooo brave for dealing with it every day.
It's almost as if they would rather see you miserable than genuinely enjoying your existence. It's almost as if a happy disabled person is just not something that is real, a unicorn, that the only option is to be miserable. And if somehow you are disabled AND you are happy, then you're either lying or deluding yourself, letting other things distract you from your reality to the point that you forget you were even disabled in the first place.
And the thing is - being disabled is not being miserable 24/7 for the rest of my life. And I'm not lying to myself if I say that.
And I think I know where this thinking of ableists comes from.
It's because you can't feel sorry for us when we're happy, right? And I mean, happy by ourselves, and not because of something you did for us. It's because, if there is nothing you could possibly give us to immediately improve our wellbeing and earn our gratitude, we're useless to you. It's because we're mere tools for you to feel better about yourself, so you could enjoy this warmth in your heart from doing something nice to someone in a worse position than you.
Guess what?
Fuck you.
Interacting with a disabled person is not a transaction where we get whatever you think we need in the moment, and you get a warm feeling in your heart.
We are not vessels for your good will, ready to receive whenever you are ready to give.
Get over it.
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