#accept what is

[malbecmusings]

The bad news is we are the creators of most of our suffering. The good news is we are the creators of most of our suffering.

#i don't know who needs to hear it #accept what is #live in the moment #embrace change #stop dragging the past into the current moment

[loveandthepsyche]

The Fates guide the person who accepts them and hinder the person who resists them.

~ Cleanthes

#magic #choice point #surrender #open heart #accept what is #guided #transformation #portal #be here now #feel it to heal it #confidence #walk the path #acceptance #trust #power #cleanthes #stuck #release the past #no limits

[wordsofwisdomandsoul]

#enlightenment #acceptance #accept what is #wayne dyer #quotes #words #life lessons #wisdom #inspirational words #philosophy of life #life quotes #growth #healing

[astrologanize]

lol all the advice i pulled for myself for december coming thru today

it’s a month where i do need to pay heed but not fixate

perfect example was me going to heat up my leftovers in a pot but since i was not in fact paying heed it ended up burning <3 at first i thought about eating it regardless but i was like ya know what idc not worth it lemme go cook a couple eggs instead and honestly thank god 

#accept what is

[sheilamurrey]

March 22nd - Just enough

It’s March 22nd, 2024; Here’s an original blues song with a sizzling hot sound thanks to production at Steven Cooper’s studio in Nashville, TN. The instrumentation on this tune embraced the snappy guitar and sweet saxophone from acclaimed horn player John Heinrich. This original blues song included the vocals from our friend Bubba Hudson, who sang so many of our songs. Just enough to keep you…

View On WordPress

#accept what is #blues song #Bonnaroo #cousin #embrace #feeling our soul #festival #indie #just enough #let friends go #like minds #Music #music-news #music-video #new-releases #Original music #original song #saxophone #steel guitar

[ambrosiagourmet]

I think one of the biggest tragedies of Laios & Falin and their relationship is how much his actions impact her life. But like. Specifically how much they WOULDN’T impact her life as much if they weren’t both stuck in such a shitty abusive situation.

This part of the Falin-tries-makeup daydream hour comic is what got me thinking about it again because truly it just... it seems like such a like an offhand comment that I'm sure Laios didn't mean to be cruel or anything. That's just like. A little kid not thinking about what they are saying. ESPECIALLY when the kid in question is Laios.

But man they depended on each other SO much as kids. Too much. It really feels like they didn't have any other source of positive reinforcement, or anyone else to share themselves with. So of course an offhand comment like that has a huge impact on Falin.

Or this little bit from one of the flashbacks:

This tears me apart. Do you think it tears him apart to think about? I think it does. I think Laios holds every small failure to care for Falin against himself.

And then there's the Bigger stuff. The way that him coping with his own trauma ended up impacting her.

Like his interest in monsters. Like him going to find a ghost, and accidentally revealing Falin's magic to the whole village in the process.

Like him needing to leave. And leaving her behind.

He shaped her life so much, and he carries so much guilt for it. And again, there should have been other people there to help. The same things that made Laios need to leave home are the things that made his leaving so hard on Falin. She ate alone after that. She shouldn't have had to eat alone just because Laios wasn't there.

She was 9 when he left for school, and he was 11.

Nine. And Laios feels like he failed her because he didn't stand by her through this better. As an eleven year old.

Both of these kids deserved so much better from the world.

#dunmeshi analysis #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #falin touden #laios touden #dungeon meshi spoilers #AND this isn't even getting into her leaving the academy & how much it seems like that was directly tied to how poorly he was doing #there's a comic in the adventurer's bible where marcille is like 'yeah she had a job lined up and everything' #and like. do you think he feels bad for that too #like he wrecked her life by leaving #and wrecked her life by showing up #what do you even do at that point. if you feel like a failed protector when you are away & and a burden when you return #unable to make yourself accept. unable to make yourself resist #Laios strongest moment is when he lets himself accept that. the contradiction of his life & his relationship with Falin #that he has to kill her to save her #as a small note this came out a little more focused on Laios' POV with this stuff but Falin's experience of it is v important to me too #didn't mean to sideline her but her feelings about stuff are more speculative and probably need a post of their own

[blueboyluca]

“When I first heard it, from a dog trainer who knew her behavioral science, it was a stunning moment. I remember where I was standing, what block of Brooklyn’s streets. It was like holding a piece of polished obsidian in the hand, feeling its weight and irreducibility. And its fathomless blackness. Punishment is reinforcing to the punisher. Of course. It fit the science, and it also fit the hidden memories stored in a deeply buried, rusty lockbox inside me. The people who walked down the street arbitrarily compressing their dogs’ tracheas, to which the poor beasts could only submit in uncomprehending misery; the parents who slapped their crying toddlers for the crime of being tired or hungry: These were not aberrantly malevolent villains. They were not doing what they did because they thought it was right, or even because it worked very well. They were simply caught in the same feedback loop in which all behavior is made. Their spasms of delivering small torments relieved their frustration and gave the impression of momentum toward a solution. Most potently, it immediately stopped the behavior. No matter that the effect probably won’t last: the reinforcer—the silence or the cessation of the annoyance—was exquisitely timed. Now. Boy does that feel good.”

— Melissa Holbrook Pierson, The Secret History of Kindness (2015)

#dog books #this chapter was very sad reading #when you become aware of punishment #and its use and its prevalence #it's hard not to despair #again this is why positive reinforcement feels like absolution #maybe now my eyes are open I can make up for what I did #what I did because it's what everyone does #because it's more acceptable to punish than to do anything else #I've been having so many thoughts about punishment and society and justice #this book was very validating #another great validating moment in my jumbled thoughts #was listening to the You're Wrong About episode on justice #with Amanda Knox #it helped to ease the despair a little

[shurisneakers]

cillian murphy accepting the award with his wife's lipstick all over his face and asking the crowd if he's got lipstick on his nose and continuing even when they said yes. this is making me feel. things

#cillian murphy #that was so. romance of him #like what do you MEAN he accepted a golden globe with his wifes lipstick all over his face #golden globes #WHO DOES THAT. THATS SO OLD SCHOOL LOVERBOY CODED WHAT DO YOU MEANNNN IT HAPPENED ON TELEVISION LIVE #i am ill

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[ash-and-starlight]

The world needs more Yue and Zuko friendship, I squeal just thinking abt the parallels. They deserve a life changing field trip together and if u have abt ideas I’m all ears 👀

Hiii anon this ask fermented in my inbox and in my brain for so long,, so take this??? Post canon yue lives/no war au arts?? Anyway aside from the Parallels and their political position & their duty before hoes grindset I think they could learn a lot from each other. With zuko learning the gift of patience & diplomacy from yue & Yue learning that allowing yourself to feel anger and speaking up can actually be Good.

anyway hypothetical life changing trip outcome: zuko takes an intro gender studies class and yue says fuck

(oh and also must not forget the crush on sokka)

#id in alt text #‘toph should say fuck’ ‘let sokka say fuck’ if there’s one person who deserves to say fuck here it’s YUE #i rest my case #also yea i think comparing his life to yue’s would open zuko’s eyes towards Gender Inequality ksbfhd #he’s like you’re mai but prep what do u mean you can’t throw knives 😤 #i can accept sexism but i draw the line at banned military indoctrination 😤😤 #i like to think that at one point yue shows zuko how to prepare & butcher small game and he does an absolute shit job at it #+ feels queasy for 3 days #zuko #yue #my art #ash replies #ALSO I MUST SAY!!! DRAWING THIS WHILE READING LIKE THE SUN CH4??? NOT FEELING WELL BESTIES #oh also since we’re talking fics…. js if u see this…… dywtjtb will always be famous

[loveandthepsyche]

AMOR FATI: LOVE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS

My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it . . . but love it.

~ NIETZSCHE

The goal is:

Not: I'm okay with this.

Not: I think I feel good about this.

But: I feel great about it. Because if it happened, then it was meant to happen, and I am glad that it did when it did. I am meant to make the best of it.

And proceed to do exactly that.

We don't get to choose what happens to us, but we can always choose how we feel about it. And why on earth would you choose to feel anything but good? We can choose to render a good account of ourselves. If the event must occur, Amor fati (a love of fate) is the response.

~ Ryan Holiday, The Obstacle is the Way

#power #perspective #accept what is #embrace the unknown #amor fati #a love of fate #acceptance #be here now #truth #surrender #freedom #trust #wisdom #deep dive #healing #glass half full #choice point #power position #gratitude #relationships #love #nietzsche #opportunity #looking for light #illuminated #transcend

[littlefeatherr]

cat_does_the_arts

#the bad batch #sw tbb #tbb #tbb wrecker #tbb echo #tbb hunter #tbb omega #tbb tech #tbb crosshair #star wars #sw fanart #tbb fanart #this is the way tbb ends #no matter what happens during the finale #no i will not accept criticism

[sunfoxfic]

We were so close to smoking not being cool anymore. We were so close. Then they flavored it mango and now it's taboo to criticize it anymore. People don't ask if they're allowed to vape indoors, they aren't considerate of people who may have health problems that are triggered by the chemicals or if it just bothers them, people don't care that they're supporting an industry built on corruption and greed, they can't see it draining their pockets and much less their health. We were so close to smoking not being cool anymore.

#i hate hate HATE nicotine after watching my parents smoke when i grew up #its gross and bad for your money and bad for your health #and i get it. theres SO MANY socioeconomic factors that make it a complicated issue. #you CANT blame smokers. #but it feels like people are just accepting the institution for what it is bc now it tastes good #bitch just chew gum jfc #it doesn't matter if its an industry issue. we have seen in the past that making it “uncool” hurts the industry #make nicotine uncool again PLEASE #grumbles

[starplatinumnun]

can you infodump to me? (i love you) is this overwhelming? (i love you) is this the right texture? (i love you) is it ok to touch you? (i love you) do you want the subtitles on? (i love you) do you want to go somewhere less noisy? (i love you)

#actuallyautistic #autism #autistic #this is about what love feels like to me as an autistic person with neurotypical family and friends #you are more than welcome to add your own experiences! #red instead #autism acceptance #neurodivergent #my writing

[pinkcrayon]

clearing out my files from the past year. this one was a hit with my friends!

#madoka magica #madohomu #madoka kaname #homura akemi #pmmm #my art #aaaaaa i haven't drawn a lot in the past months #or year #my art output is nowhere near what it used to be and it's hard to accept im no longer a teenager drawing all day at school and coming home #to pop out a bunch of drawings on my laptop till 1 am #TT-TT

[betashift]

To the best crew any captain ever had. ✧.*

#the very best!! <333 #ds9 #ds9edit #trekedit #startrekedit #tvedit #scifiedit #90sedit #star trek deep space nine #not to jinx it but I think I'm finally happy with how my ds9 gifs are looking? #it's nothing special but decent enough :) and I just have to accept that some episodes are shittier quality than others #and I can't do magic I have to work with what's there