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#also I'm only 21 I don't mean to talk down so much lol I hope my tone's not coming off too arrogant
rioblitzle · 18 days
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the thing about chatfics is that I don't dislike them in concept- I actually think the format of a group chat is a very creative and fun one for comedic or storytelling potential- however, almost every one I've tried to read writes every single character with the distinct texting voice of a teenager or maybe 20 something and when you've got middle aged or very offline characters involved that is such an immersion dealbreaker to me
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luvangelbreak · 1 month
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Deprived | Nineteen
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 matthew sturniolo x layla venita (female!oc) summary: everyone knows the story of the bad boy and the good girl but what happens when the school's most popular boy, Matthew Sturniolo, and the girl who notoriously is never there, Layla Venita, cross paths. warnings: swearing, smoking, angst lol word count: 4.9k a/n: y'all i have been trying so hard to make this story good but i hope you wont kill me after this part. don't forget i love y'all :)
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pov: layla
The rest of the school day flew by, having gym with Allie made it a little more tolerable and not having Mia lurking over my shoulder was relieving. I ignored the usual whispers and dirty looks, seemingly more frequent than usual and I assumed it was because people knew about Matt and I.
I didn't quite understand what we were yet, we'd only been friends for under 2 weeks and I'd already let him into my life more than anyone I'd ever known. It frustrated me how easily my walls came down around him and how much I let him affect me. I didn't even mean to but I knew I had pushed him away during lunch but part of me was relieved that I was still able to do that, still able to keep my walls up around him whenever I needed to.
As I exited the building, Allie by my side rambling about something I tuned out due to my busy mind, I slipped my cigarettes out of my bag and lit the end of one between my lips. I made sure to blow the smoke away from Allie's face as I slid the pack back into my bag as we made our way to Nate's car.
"I'll be quick," I called to Nate who was leaning against his car, talking to Chris who was leaning against the minivan beside Nate's car. Nate nodded, resuming his conversation with Chris as I tuned back into what Allie was saying.
"So what do you think? Green or white nails?" she asked me and I mentally cursed at myself for not paying attention as we came to a halt a few feet away from Nate's car.
"Why not do green and white?" I suggested, trying to cover up the fact I had zoned out and gone too far into my own head to realise what she was talking about.
"Oh, good point. What about you?" she asked, pulling her cheer uniform down as she shivered, the tights on her legs not seeming to block out the cold as much as she hoped.
"What about me?" I asked, trying to quickly puff down my cigarette so as to not make Nate wait longer than he already had.
"What are you gonna do with your nails? Oh and we also have to figure out hair and makeup," she said matter-of-factly and I let my mouth hang open for a moment.
"I hadn't gotten that far yet," I answered honestly and she nodded, a small smile on her lips.
"No need to worry. I love helping people get dressed up. We can look at some stuff on Pinterest and figure out what you want to go with your dress," she answered confidently and I nodded in response with a small smile. I had been off since lunch and I knew she could tell but I was glad she didn't say anything about it.
I felt something touch my lower back and I jumped, spinning around to see Matt looking down at me with a worried expression, "Can I talk to you?"
"We're gonna go in a second," I answered quickly and he furrowed his eyebrows as I continued to take hits of the cigarette.
"Just for a minute," he asked quietly and I heard Allie shuffled behind me.
"I'll leave you guys to talk," she said quickly before she scurried away towards Nate, Chris and now Nick. I sighed, turning back to look at Matt who had nothing but a confused expression on his face.
"What's wrong?" he asked and I looked down, avoiding his eyes as I let out a breath.
"Nothing," I answered shortly and he stepped closer to me. I automatically tensed and I could sense his concern radiating off of him.
"Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry if I upset you. I didn't mean to," he spoke softly and I felt guilt spread through my body but I didn't let it show as I continued looking at the ground.
"I'm fine, Matthew," I spoke blandly, finishing the rest of my cigarette before throwing it on the damp ground and squishing it with the sole of my shoe, "I gotta go."
"Layls," he tried to catch my attention again but I shook my head, walking towards Nate and Allie silently.
"You guys ready to go?" I asked and they both looked at each other briefly, a concerned look shared between them before they nodded, "Bye guys."
I waved to Chris and Nick as I opened the back door of Nate's car, sliding in without another word as Allie slid in the passenger seat and Nate jumped in the driver's seat.
I kept my focus to the left of the car, feeling Matt staring at me as he got into the driver's seat of his car and Nate waved goodbye to them before he drove out of the parking space.
+++
After spending 2 hours at the mall with Allie, I couldn't find anything that I could afford and I decided I would have to just make my own dress. After grabbing stretchy black fabric and Allie buying me a sweat tea, she decided she wanted me to go to her house.
"If you come over I can help you pick out heals and what you want to do with your makeup and hair!" she suggested as we waltzed down the mall back towards the parking lot where her dad was waiting for her.
"I don't know," I trailed off, my mood still off from my interaction with Matt. I had turned off my phone, not bothering to check it the whole time we were out because I knew Matt would try to message or call me.
"Please. We can drop you home after dinner," she pleaded, her words dragging out as the bags in her arms rustled. I sighed, running a hand through my hair before I nodded.
"Okay," I answered and she clapped her hands happily, fastening her pace as we reached the exit of the building. I trailed behind her until she walked up to a car which I could only assume was her dad's BMW.
"Hey Dad," she called in a sing-song tone as she approached the driver's window which he conveniently had rolled down, "Is it okay if Layla comes over for dinner and we drop her home after?"
"You couldn't have told me earlier?" he asked, his tone frustrated and I kept my distance, feeling like I was intruding on their conversation. I let them talk as their voices quietened before Allie spun around to face me.
"Okay! We're good," she said excitedly as she rounded the car to the passenger side and I followed suit, opening the back door before throwing my bag on the floor and sliding in.
"Hi," I tried to sound as polite as possible as I closed the door behind me.
"Hello," her father's voice sounded rough and tired and I took it as a queue not to talk further since he still sounded irritated. I kept quiet the whole car ride as her dad turned up the music, making it clear he didn't want to talk. Allie didn't say anything, only hummed along to the music as we drove through the busy streets.
Soon enough, we pulled up to a 3 story house that looked as modern as the White House. I jumped out of the car, looking up at the architecture in awe as I closed the door behind me and swung my bag over my shoulder. I didn't notice that Allie and her dad had already made their way to the door until Allie called my name.
She stood by the door, holding it open for me. I quickly jogged up to the wooden door and walked inside as she closed it behind me. I let my mouth hang open as I looked at the front foyer, the black spiral staircase travelling upwards from the white marble floor shone brightly from the chandelier.
"Mom we're home!" Allie called out to her mother, her voice echoing on the tiles as I looked up at the 2 stories above us.
"In the kitchen!" I heard a woman's voice respond, assuming it was her mother's. I looked around in amazement as I followed Allie through the foyer, turning to the right to find a huge open kitchen with a dining area right beside it, the table seating able to fit at least 10 people, "I didn't know you were bringing a friend over."
"Mom, this is Layla. Layla, my mom, Diana," Allie introduced us and I looked at her mother, smiling at her with a small awkward wave.
"Hi Mrs Finley," I plastered a smile on my lips and she gave me a short smile before looking back at Allie who was almost a spitting image of her. They had the same ginger hair, green eyes and short, skinny figures.
"You didn't tell me your friend was coming," she said through her teeth as Allie just shrugged, her mother's passive aggressiveness seemingly unphased her.
"It was last minute," Allie said, jumping up and sitting on top of the marble counter and her mother frowned, turning around from the stove where various pots seemed to be cooking over the gas.
"You need to let me know beforehand, Alison. You know this," she spoke sternly and I stayed in place by the door, not missing the way her mother scanned me head to toe. I pulled the pink sweater further down my arms to hide my tattoos that I knew she would despise.
"She's not staying over. She's just staying for dinner then we'll drop her home," Allie shrugged and her mother sighed heavily, spinning around to face the stove again.
"Al!" I heard another male voice call from the foyer and Allie rolled her eyes, grabbing a handful of grapes from the fruit bowl to her left as she threw a few in her mouth.
"What?" she called, the grapes still in her mouth as she crossed her legs and her mother spun around with a scowl on her face.
"Don't talk with food in your mouth," she mumbled before facing the stove again and I leaned on the wall beside the door, unsure of where to go.
"Where did you put my helmet?" I heard the same male voice enter the room to my right and I looked over to see a guy who couldn't have been more than 2 years older than Allie and I. He turned to look at me, his dirty blonde hair flowing as he did so and he smirked at me, "Who's this?"
"That's Layla. Off limits, Xan," she deadpanned and he snickered as he looked back at her, his green eyes shining in the lights over the kitchen, "I don't know where your helmet is. I haven't touched it."
"Fuck off. I know you moved it," he rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and I noticed the myriad of tattoos scattering his tan arms. I scanned his outfit, noticing the fact that he was clad in bike pants and a white shirt, a leather jacket hung over his right arm.
"Language," Diana scolded him and he simply rolled his eyes again, throwing his head back.
"Do you know where my helmet is, Mom?" he asked, his voice slightly more agitated and he glanced over at me, giving me a smirk which I returned with a frown.
"I don't know, honey. Have you asked your father?" she sighed, spinning around to face him before she glanced at me again with a scowl still written across her face.
"He said he doesn't know," the boy next to me answered and Allie groaned.
"Xander, you're a grown man. You can find your own shit," she mumbled and Diana hit her thigh with the back of her hand lightly to scold her again.
"I left it on my bike and now it's not there," he threw his hands out in front of him in defeat and Allie once again rolled her eyes.
"Where do you need to go anyway?" she asked as she popped another grape into her mouth and leaned forward with her elbows on her knees.
"I'm going to Shawn's," he answered shortly and Allie raised her eyebrows before glancing between me and him.
"Great! That means you can drop Layla home on your way," she announced and my eyebrows instantly furrowed, giving her a confused look.
"I didn't agree to that," he quickly shut it down and Allie shrugged her shoulders.
"She doesn't mind, right Layls?" she asked and I glanced between the three of them.
"I can just walk home. It's really not that far," I lied straight through my teeth and Allie frowned, knowing I lived nowhere near her.
"It would take you well over an hour to walk home. I'm not letting you go in the dark," she argued and I shrugged, adjusting my bag that was still on my shoulder.
"It's fine really," I brushed it off and she shook her head, Xander now groaning next to me before he looked at me.
"Where do you live?" he asked, his tone short from the annoyance of his younger sister.
"Uh," I hesitated, feeling uncomfortable in the expensive house with such proper people, "South End."
"You are not driving through South End, Xander," Diana quickly interjected and he looked towards his mother with a frown, "It's far too dangerous."
A moment of silence fell into the room and I glanced between the three of them uncomfortably. Allie patiently waited for her brother's agreeance, Diana waited for his denial and I couldn't help but notice a shift in his features as he smirked and his body became less tense.
"Sure. I'll talk you home," he shrugged as he looked directly at his mother who stared at him disapprovingly, "You ever ridden a motorbike before?"
"Yeah," I answered shortly, feeling the tension in the air as he looked back at me.
"Cool. Good thing I have two helmets," he smirked before waltzing out of the room again and I looked back at Allie with a frown.
"What? Now I don't have to convince my dad and you don't have to walk in the dark. It's a win-win," she shrugged and I sighed, running a hand over my face as she jumped off of the counter, "Come on. I'll show you my room."
I nodded as she picked up her bags from the floor and waltzed out of the kitchen and I followed behind her. She made her way up the stairs and once we reached the second floor, she walked down the long hallway before entering a room on the left. I entered the room, looking around at the white bare walls and the sheer size of the place. Her room alone was the size of my living room and I noticed the grey queen-sized bed in the corner with the saude grey couch sitting in the middle of the right wall.
"Holy shit," I mumbled as I dropped my bag down to the floor, looking at the flatscreen TV on the wall at the end of her bed and the vanity covered in various makeup products scattered across it on the other side of the room, "This is massive."
"Yeah. I tried to fill the space as much as I could," she mumbled as she walked through the giant space, throwing her bags on the elevated mattress. There were two pastel pink bean bags on the floor at the end of her bed with a white throw blanket on top of them. A wooden coffee table was in front of the two-seater couch, littered with different books and a pencil case, the two pink decorative pillows on the couch pulling the aesthetic of the room together.
"This is like the size of my living room and kitchen in one," I let my mouth hang open and she jumped on her bed, pulling the various items out of the shopping bags lazily.
"You should see my parents' room. It's like twice the size," she rolled her eyes dramatically, "I don't know why they bought this house. There are four of us living here and we have three spare rooms. It's insane."
She sounded almost bitter at the fact her parents had spent so much money on the house, the extra rooms being a nuisance to maintain but I didn't even bat an eye since I was too in awe of the amount of space. I looked to the left to see a walk-in closet filled to the brim with clothes and accessories.
"Okay! Let's talk hair and makeup," she announced and I hummed, still looking around her room before I sat on her bed. She began scouring through Pinterest on her phone, saving various photos of hair and makeup for the both of us to get ideas.
+++
"So what do your parents do, Layla?" Diana asked, her tone short as her spoon scraped on the bottom of her bowl of soup. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, Allie sitting on my left with her dad at the end of the table, Diana sitting next to her husband and Xander sitting across from me.
"Uh, my dad is a mechanic," I answered shortly, only half lying. He used to be a mechanic but now he only works on cars of people he's buying drugs off of.
"And your mother?" she asked, her spine straight as she sipped on her white wine and I placed my spoon down in the bowl.
"Um, she's not around," I answered vaguely and her eyebrows furrowed.
"Whereabouts is she?" she asked, her tone condescending and Allie coughed loudly.
"Mom," she mumbled, frowning at her mother and I shifted in my seat once again.
"I'm just asking a question, Alison," she spoke so clearly and precisely that I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes at her poise facade.
"She left when I was little," I answered honestly, my discomfort obvious and Allie turned to me, an apologetic smile on her lips and I gave her the same back.
"What do you do with yourself? Do you work?" her dad spoke up for the first time since we sat down and I shrugged, swallowing loudly.
"I help my dad with his work sometimes," again, it was a half-truth and I could lie straight through my teeth easily around people like this.
"So you don't actually have a job?" he asked, his words slightly patronising.
"She's still in school, dad. Give her a break," Xander rolled his eyes dramatically and his dad frowned at him, his mouth permanently in a straight line.
"Did I ask you a question?" he asked rhetorically and Xander sighed, shaking his head as he continued eating the pumpkin soup.
"Um, no. I don't have a job yet but I'm going to get one once I finish school," I spoke as confidently as I could and he looked back at me.
"You aren't going to college? What job do you intend to get without a degree?" he asked with a frown still plastered on his face and I let my mouth hang open, unsure of my own answer.
"Okay!" Xander interrupted as he placed his spoon back in his bowl, "Are you ready to go?"
"Xander, you haven't even finished your soup," his mother pointed out and he shrugged, pushing away from the table.
"I'm done. Thanks for dinner, Mom," he said quickly and I looked at Allie as if to ask if I could leave. She smiled at me and nodded before turning to her parents.
"May I leave the table to see them out? I'll come back after," she asked, the properness of it making my skin crawl and her mother nodded.
"Thank you for dinner. It was nice meeting you," I offered a polite goodbye, the words sounding as fake as they felt and Diana gave me a tight-lipped smile that didn't reach her eyes. I quickly got up as Xander walked out of the room and I followed behind him as Allie walked behind me. I was glad I brought my bag down to the front door earlier so I didn't have to bother getting it earlier.
"I'm sorry about them," Allie said apologetically as Xander walked out the front door and we followed suit as I shook my head.
"Don't worry about it," I gave her a tight-lipped smile and she sighed, running a hand through her hand.
"I'll see you at school tomorrow?" she asked and I nodded, picking up my bag and throwing it over my shoulder, "I gotta get back before they think I'm gone too long. Let me know if Xan does anything stupid."
"I will," I let out a half-hearted laugh and I walked over to where Xander was leaning on his black, helmet in hand. I observed the bike, gasping when I realised what it was, "You have a Ducati?"
"I'm surprised you know what that is," he stated with his eyebrows raised and I shook my head, walking around the bike as my jaw hung open.
"Are you fucking kidding? I've always wanted a Ducati," I mumbled, my hand running along the shiny black metal and he chuckled, pushing away from the bike as he spun around to hand me the white helmet. I hesitantly took it, sliding my bag over my shoulders so it lay across my chest instead of on just one shoulder.
"Don't worry. I've had a lot of people ride this with me," he smirked cockily as he picked up the black helmet hanging off of the right handlebar.
"I bet," I mumbled, rolling my eyes as I slid the helmet onto my head. I grabbed the strap under my chin but it was difficult to click into place without being able to see.
"Here," he stepped around the bike and I let my hands fall to my sides as I tilted my chin upwards. He clicked it into place before tightening the strap and I let my head fall back down, the visor still being up as I looked up at him through the gap in the helmet. He tapped the top of my helmet before mumbling, "Cute."
"Just get me home without crashing before you try to flirt with me," I grumbled making him chuckle. He grabbed the black helmet sliding it over his head and clicking the strap in, tightening it quickly. He zipped up the pocket in his pants he had his phone in before sliding his gloves on.
"Out of all Al's friends," he said as he swung his leg over the bike and sat down, "You're already my favourite."
"This is gonna be a long ride," I rolled my eyes as I placed my left foot on the peg, swung my right leg over the bike and sat down on the small seat at the back.
"Oh by the way," he said loudly before he reached in the gap in the helmet to seemingly adjust something before his voice rang in my helmet, "I have comms."
"Oh great. Now I can hear you talking out of your ass the whole ride," I said sarcastically and his laugh rang through my ears. I flicked the visor down and he followed suit.
"You ready?" he asked and I hummed before he kicked the stand up. He turned on the bike, soon after and the engine revved to life, "You gotta hold on unless you wanna fly off the back."
"This is insane," I mumbled, leaning forward as I wrapped my arms around his torso and I heard his laugh ring through the helmet once again. I placed my chin on his left shoulder as he kicked it into first gear and we crept out of the driveway.
As we got onto the road, I instantly felt the cold wind pierce my skin through my clothes as it whipped around us and I tightened my arms around him.
"You good?" he asked through the headset and I hummed quickly, looking ahead as we passed multiple buildings quickly. My heart started beating with the rumble of the engine and a smile crept on my face as I thought of an idea.
"Can I lean back?" I asked hesitantly as I looked at the street lights around us.
"Let me turn left up here then you can. It's a straight road after that," he explained and I hummed, gripping tightly onto his leather jacket against his stomach, "Just move with my body as we turn."
"I know," I stated confidently and he let out another chuckle. After a few seconds, he slowed ever so slightly and we leaned into the turn before he straightened up again.
"You can lean back just don't stand up and don't lean back too far or you'll throw it off balance," he instructed me and my stomach filled with butterflies of excitement. I let my hands unravel from around his waist, still holding onto his sides as I leaned away from his back slightly. The wind hit me even more but it made me feel alive, it made me feel real.
My hair flicked behind me from the bottom of the helmet and I carefully let go of his waist. I looked ahead to see only one car ahead of us and it was far enough away that I could comfortably expand my arms out on either side of me.
"This is so fun!" I said excitedly as I leaned closer to him again, my arms being pushed back by the wind slightly. I heard a sound of amusement travel from him and I giggled to myself.
"You wanna go around this car?" he asked and I looked ahead to see we were approaching the car quickly. I let out a sound of approval, "Hold onto me."
I let my arms wrap back around his torso as he sped up slightly and within an instant, we zipped past the car with ease. I turned my head to look around at the buildings we flew past and the cars passing by us on the other side of the road.
"I don't know where to go from here, babe. You're gonna have to give me directions," he spoke loudly into the mic and I hummed, looking straight ahead again.
The next 10 minutes were spent mumbling different directions to him as my hands practically froze from the cold air and my hair tangled under the helmet. Soon enough, we arrived at my street and he slowed the bike when we were a few houses away from mine.
We pulled up to my house before he switched the engine off and put down the kickstand. He held out a gloved hand to help me get off the bike which I gladly accepted, swinging my legs off of the bike before I unclipped the strap and slid the helmet off.
"That was so fun," I smiled happily, certain that my hair was stuck up in all different directions as he slid open the visor to talk to me, "Allie never told me she had a brother by the way."
"She never told me she had such a pretty friend," he replied smoothly and I furrowed my eyebrows, a slightly amused smile on my lips.
"I'll let that slide for now because that was so fun but never do that again," I shook my head, handing him the helmet and he quickly spun around to attach it to the strap on the pillion seat.
"You have a boyfriend or something?" he asked as he turned to face me and I let my mouth hang open for a moment, unsure of how to answer.
"It's complicated," I told him honestly and I could see the smirk from under his helmet as he shook his head.
He looked ahead to where my house was before saying, "Is that your not-boyfriend?"
I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked over where his eyesight was and I saw none other than Matt standing there with his arms folded. He had an unsatisfied expression written across his face as he leaned against his car, staring directly at me.
"I'll take that as my queue to leave," Xander said with slight amusement in his voice before revving the engine of the bike back to life and yelling, "Tell Allie I can pick you up whenever you need, pretty girl."
He flicked the visor of his helmet back down before giving me a salute and suddenly, he sped off down the road. My body ran cold at the sound of the nickname coming from his mouth, hating the way it felt compared to when Matt said it. I looked back over to where Matt was glaring at me and I quickly jogged towards him.
"Matt-"
"I don't wanna hear it, Layla," he shook his head, his words sounding like venom directly to my heart and I let my arms drop beside me.
"It's not what it looks like," I tried to explain as he pushed away from the car and let out a bitter laugh.
"Really? That's what you're going with?" he asked, a look of disbelief on his face as he threw his hands out in front of him, "You ignore me all day, don't answer any of my calls or messages so I decide I'm gonna show up to your house to sort this out and I see you get off the bike of some other deadbeat guy!"
"Deadbeat guy? That's Allie's brother," I furrowed my eyebrows and he raised his with a nod of his head.
"Oh cool. So you're just hitting it off with one of my best friend's brothers now?" he asked, anger seeping off of him and it only made me want to yell at him more but I didn't get the chance to, "I did nothing wrong and now you're off with some other guy doing god knows what. You didn't even try to talk to me."
"He was just dropping me home!" I argued and he shook his head, another bitter laugh emitting from his mouth as he swung the driver's door open.
"Don't come to my game tomorrow. I can't fucking believe you right now," he spat out angrily as he jumped in, slamming the door closed behind him.
I rounded the car as I yelled at the glass separating us, "Matt just listen to me!"
He started the car and within an instant, he drove down the street and I watched the taillights disappear in the distance as my shoulders dropped in devastation.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
tags:
@dsturniolo @chrisstankyleg @lov3bug @pinklittleflower @thatcrazybitch-69 @trinity2058 @alorsxsturn @chrizznmetswife @ilovechrissturniolo1 @leprechaunbirthdaygirl @sturnfix @lilsstvrn @sturniololol @sturniolowhore @jebbie-project-blog @jaxyy219
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limerence-17 · 1 year
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Can i request a Steddie x read where they go mattress shopping and the sales guy is coming on way to hard on read and the boys get really defensive. Then there is smut to be had breaking in said new mattress. Also like to think that they broke the old one lol
this is so crafty and i'm such a sucker for anything steddie related PLUS i can totally see the doing this. hope you enjoy!!
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
THE LAST FIRST MATTRESS
not intended for minors. do NOT read if you are not 18+!
–pairing: steddie x fem reader
–word count: 2.8k words
–summary: After forcing your roommates Steve and Eddie to go mattress shopping with you after a little mishap, they can't waste to test it out a week later.
–warnings: p in v unprotected sex, oral sex f receiving and m receiving, fingering, blowjobs, handjobs, kissing, explicit words and context. read at your own disclosure!
A/N: this story is set where everyone is 21/22.
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The salesman walks ahead of you, he's leading you over to the next mattress. It's the seventh one he's shown the three of you so far, but you can't help it that you've always been indecisive. I mean hell, maybe this was why you couldn't choose between Steve or Eddie.
It had been that way since you'd decided to move in with your high schools acquaintances after high school. With your struggling love lives it surprisingly brought the three of you together, in more than just three ways. But it never disappointed that the two of them wanted you as well. You never really saw yourself as greedy, not when your two best friends were happy to share you equally- no strings attached of course.
Once the salesman was a bit further ahead of you, you felt a hand grab onto the top half of your arm, squeezing so tight that you turned around the slap it playfully off.
"What, Eddie?" Eddie asked a pouty look painted out all across his face. He looked like a child at the carpet store, begging his parents to go home.
"Seriously, Steve and I already talked about it- we promise we'll buy you a new mattress," Eddie said, turning to Steve for validation, who began to nod very quickly up and down.
"We won't be much longer guys I promise, there has to be one here- besides I can't wait up to a week for a new one. In case you guys forgot or something, I need someplace to sleep tonight, not tomorrow." You say, widening your eyes in a sarcastic kind of way.
"But we're so tired, please. I mean c'mon you could come crash at mine!" Eddie pleads, gripping your shoulders in desperation. It's a little funny seeing how much control you have over the boys and granted you're only shopping.
"Yeah, so... tired..." Steve says in between yawns, covering his mouth to exaggerate it.
"Jesus! I'll go grab my mattress and drag it to my house even if that's what it'll-"
The salesman interrupts Eddie quickly, coughing a little to gain his attention which he notices, releasing your shoulders from his grip quickly. There's 80s music playing softly on the muffled speakers in the store, you can pick up on the soft hum of Into The Groove by Madonna playing and the busy footsteps of other customers walking around.
"So this one is half off, but it is actually quite the steal for its price. A lot of people don't like it for it's sturdier firm, but if you ask me it's perfect if you're planning on doing some more uh... rigorous exercises." The salesman has a small smirk that appears on his face and he's giving you a look that you can't help but feel a certain funny feeling in your stomach. Is he... no he can't be. Wait, is he flirting with you?
"Half off you say? Is it good for uh.. sleeping at least?" You croak out, feeling your throat get a little dry. You can feel Eddie and Steve growing a little impatient, and this time they notice how the salesman has moved his gaze to the cleavage on your chest.
"Oh trust me darling it's perfect for sleeping. After a busy evening, you'll be grateful you own this mattress," He says. And with that, Steve pipes up.
"So say if she wanted to share this bed with... I don't know maybe me for example, do you think it would be a good fit?" Steve asks, clearly gritting through his teeth.
The salesman met Steve's gaze and noticed his glare, which was clearly focused in jealously, perhaps a little competition. You'd be lying if you'd said it didn't make you feel a little giddy inside.
The salesman coughed a bit, clearly his throat and shifting his footing.
"Uh- yes, yes I believe it would." Steve took a step back, crossing his arms.
"We'll take it! Thank you!" Eddie said, stepping in in front of Steve. Steve could be a little unpredictable at times when it came to the woman he cared for in his life.
"Alright well er, I'll go get the papers and I'll check you out- sorry er- I'll get you checked out." The salesman made awkward contact with Steve, Eddie and you as well before he walked away.
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ONE WEEK LATER
It was a late Saturday evening, you'd decided to have a couple drinks at your guys' place with Eddie, while waiting for Steve. You were standing in the kitchen, sipping gently on your wine as Eddie leaned back against the kitchen counter sipping on his beer.
"So, guess what arrived while you were out with the band?" Eddie's eyebrows raised, a little bit confused as to where you were going with this.
"Steve's sense of direction and time management," Eddie said a little sarcastically.
You couldn't help but roll your eyes, Eddie could be so infuriating while so fucking handsome at the same time.
"The mattress dickwad, it finally came in and I even set it up on the bed frame all by myself this time," You said, playfully pushing on Eddie's shoulders.
"You know all by yourself doesn't count if you're inviting the movers in to do it for you y'know?"
"Oh shove it Munson," You say, meeting his gaze and pulling him for a quick kiss. He gently pushes in further to deepen the kiss and you can feel his tongue gently grant access into your mouth until suddenly he's pulling away.
"Wha- Eddie?" You ask, whining a little bit. It'd been too long since you'd had sex and you were starting to feel a little more needy than usual. How could you not be anyway? You had two perfect guys who were completely open to a friends with benefits three way.
"Don't you think we should wait for Harrington? Now that you and I are already two drinks in?" Eddie says, still tracing small circles against your arm as you're still pushed up against him. You can feel the outline of his cock against your waist the more you adjust yourself against him.
"I'm sure he wouldn't mind if we got a head start, plus it's kind of his fault for never being on time," You say, running yours hands through Eddie's hair as he's looking at you with lust filled in his eyes.
Just as Eddie starts to give in, placing soft kisses against your neck, there's a knock at the door.
"Jesus!" Eddie shouts, trying to pull himself together. You look down and it's clear he was beginning to have a boner.
"Oh my god Eds pull yourself together," You say, scoffing a bit as you tug your hair behind your ears. You make your way over to the door and look outside the peephole. Outside the door is Steve, standing a little awkwardly tucking his car keys into his wallet. You open the door, with a hand on your hip which makes Steve scoff a bit.
"So I'm gonna assume that you've already started drinking and uh..." Steve leans his head in, starting to walk a bit slowly into your guys' apartment. From behind you he spots Eddie, whose attempted to compose himself on the couch.
You look down for a moment and notice that your tank top strap is down your shoulder. Steve follows your gaze and notices that you've noticed this as well.
"The two of you are so sneaky," he says pretty nonchalantly, smirking a bit as he puts his belongings down as heads into the kitchen, opening a beer as he takes a couple of sips.
"I'm sorry Steve, but you know I'll make it up to you later," you say as you walk over to the counter, pulling your tank top strap up again.
"You know we both will!" Eddie says, lifting his beer up in agreement from the couch. Steve rolls his eyes.
"Oh shove it Munson," he says, taking another swig. You can tell Steve's had a long day at work, and you know the perfect way to get this night started. Besides, that quick make out sesh with Eddie had your dirty thoughts already spiralling out of control, and the messiness of Steve's hair and slight droopy look in his eyes was driving you insane.
"So I already told Eddie, but my mattress arrived today," you say, cracking a small smile. Steve swallows his sip from his drink slowly and looks at you with wide eyes.
"Oh really?" You nod very fast, pretty proud of yourself for doing it in the first place.
"Apparently she did it all herself too Harrington," Eddie says, now standing up from the couch. He's hit play on the stereo beside the couch. Your 60s tape was left in it, so to Eddie and your own surprise Lonely Sea by The Beach Boys.
"Really, Beach Boys?" Eddie asks.
"I was studying, give me a break it's calming," you notice as Steve has moved closer to you and placed his hand on your waist and almost as a reflex, you place your wine glass on the kitchen island.
You turn around so that now you're facing Eddie, whose begun to walk closer to you, his eyes glaring across you and Steve, who's now begun to place gentle kisses across your neck. It's taking everything in you to keep your composure even with the feeling of Steve's lips on your neck.
"You know- I'm starting to think we should give that mattress a little test y'know, whaddya think Harrington?" Eddie asks, now extremely close to the two of you, starting to place kisses on the other side of your neck.
You find yourself running both of your hands through both of their heads of hair, the feeling of their lips on you driving you mental.
"That-sounds-incredible-" Steve says in between his sloppy neck kisses.
"Follow me," you say, finally managing to pull away, strutting slowly into your bedroom and sitting down on the bed, jumping a bit on the mattress.
"Looks a shit ton better than the shitty disaster we made of the last one," Eddie says, nudging Steve a bit who lets out a scornful laugh.
Steve's already started to take off his shirt, and feeling as if you should comply you've started to take yours off as well.
"You guys are too fast seriously," Eddie says, unbuckling his pants and shirt as he scrambles over to you.
"Let me have her for a moment first Munson, Steve's had a long day and could really use some assistance," Steve says now leaning on top of you, causing you to fall backwards onto the mattress. Before you know it, his lips are on you and your hands are running through his bouncy brown hair.
"Fuck," Steve says, as he's suddenly aware of your hands scratching up and down his back. "Yes keep doing that babe, that feels so good god," Steve says, now slowly planting kisses across your chest and stomach as you quickly unclip your bra.
As Steve is working on pulling your pants down, you've lost your focus as Eddie's begun to kiss you, a longing kiss as his tongue begins to dance with yours. Naturally, you find yourself gravitating to his boxers, where you finally place your hand around a most longing boner.
"All this for me?" You ask, looking at Eddie with siren eyes.
In the living room, you hear Lost in Your Eyes by Tommy James start to play on the stereo.
"God you make me fucking feral baby," Eddie says, as you manage to pull out his cock, stroking it slowly watching as he lets out a low gasp and his eyes roll back for a moment. You're pumping your hand up and down just at the speed you've grown to know that Eddie goes mental for.
"Just like that baby, yeah stroke my dick just like that mmm," Eddie grunts lowly.
You're so focused on pumping Eddie, and his shaky breath and sloppy kisses on your lips that you haven't even noticed that Steve's already pulled your panties to your ankles. Steve plants kisses on your inner thighs. His lips are cold to touch to you and you feel goosebumps grow against your legs and shivers through your spine.
He slowly gravitates towards the upper end of your inner thighs and you want to grip at his hair so bad, give him all the praise imaginable but you're so consumed with the feeling of Eddie's dick in your hands, pre cum running across your fingertips.
With a few kisses, Steve now moves on your clit, placing small but excruciatingly incredible kisses on your heat.
"Oh god," you say, moving your gaze a bit to see Steve now sucking and grunting against your clit. His tongue is moving up and down so quickly you can't help but pull away from Eddie for a moment. What you see in front of you is so fucking hot you can't help it. Steve is now eating you out as if he's been starved for too long, and you even catch a glimpse of him running his hand through his long hair before he gets back to tongue fucking you as hard as he possibly can.
You don't get to look for much longer though however because Eddie's gripped his hand tightly on your cheeks, redirecting you to him.
"No baby, you keep your eyes on me." Eddie says, and suddenly your focus is redirected to stroking Eddie once more. You can hear his orgasm building as his grunts gets louder. After a few more pumps, Eddie pulls your hand away.
"Jesus Christ baby you're gonna make me cum, not yet, not until I'm inside you," he says, now kissing you once more. He pulls away to look at Steve, who's still eating you out.
"Look at Steve, eating you out like that, you're such a good girl you know you deserve it," he says, his eyes widening with infatuation and lust as he watches him going down on you. As you feel your heat rising and climax building up, Steve pulls away quickly.
"Munson I mean- Fuck you gotta come see how wet she is, I mean it's as if she's been thinking about this all day," Steve says, a little exasperated and flushed from the heat in between your legs.
"Oh really huh?" Eddie says, moving from the bed to the front of the bed where he's now kneeling beside Steve. Eddie pulls your legs closer so that his fingers now line up perfectly with your now obviously soaking wet pussy. All it takes is for Eddie to run one slow finger across your slit and you're already throwing your head back, desperate for more.
Steve's now moved back up to you, kissing you gently. "See how fucking incredible you taste?" God that was so fucking hot, you think to yourself, grabbing Steve's neck and pulling him in for another kiss. Suddenly Eddie's got one finger inside you, pumping inside you slowly, then it's two and you can feel yourself starting to see stars.
"You gonna let Munson fuck you now?" Steve asks, although you and him already both know the answer to it.
"Yes, please Eddie you know I need your cock inside me," you practically beg through muffled gasps.
Eddie obliges and stands above you, pulling your hips closer to him to adjust himself. With the grip of his hands on you, he turns you around so that now you're facing Steve's dick.
With a few adjustments, Eddie slowly inserts his full length inside you, pumping slowly at first and you both let out moans of need and lust.
"C'mon baby I need your mouth on me," Steve says, and you follow his direction, placing the tip of his length across your tongue, moving it in a circle and watch as he puts his hands up and rolls his head backwards mumbling obscenities.
"That's it baby, take Steve's dick, take it all in that pretty mouth of yours," Eddie says between grunts as he pumps himself harder inside you. After a few minutes of grunts, low moans you find that both of the guys have come to their orgasms and the three of you let out gasps and exhales and lay back down on the bed. You find yourself in the middle and Steve has now laid his head on your chest.
"At least we didn't break this mattress this time," Eddie says, scoffing a bit raising his arm.
"Yeah god I mean- that is the last first mattress we ever buy for my room again," you say, laughing.
"Anyway, I think it's Steve's turn now," you say, sitting back up two face the two boys in front of you, a small smile on your face.
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lindszeppelin · 9 months
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I feel like it’s a PR relationship 100% kaia is using his fame for her own career. Like she did for Jacob elordi when they just so happened to be dating when season 2 of euphoria got released. Same thing when she dated Pete Davidson right when he was blowing up on snl. She needs to stick to modeling truly. I hope it’s just like a two year contract and we will here that they’ve “split up” by January. I’m sure he’s getting paid for it. It’s also so suspicious to me how she apparently started dating Austin not even a month after her split with Jacob when there 1 year anniversary was the month before. I also don’t fully blame her and I’m sure her parents have something to do with it wanting to get her name out there like she isn’t Cindy Crawfords daughter and couldn’t get any role she wanted without dating a man who was trending at the time. I just want Austin to be happy. I also hope she realizes that Austin’s not gonna want to get married for like 2-3 years minimum. He’s gonna wanna work on his career. Doesn’t mean he won’t actually date but he’s not gonna settle down anytime soon. I just want their relationship to be over. I don’t want to hate on Kaia but it’s just so frustrating when she is a literal model because of her mom, she’s an “actress” because of her mom. It’s not for her being her. Like all nepo babies nowadays are successful because of their parents.
First of all thank you for your commentary, anon. You're not alone in how you feel. There are plenty of us that think the same exact way, some just don't always vocalize it, so cheers for being one of them that speaks up on it.
I had quite a nice day today so I'm in a good mood to go a little in depth with my answer right now. And then go back into my little cancer crab shell lol
What's crazy to me is she looked so much more suited and happier with Jacob Elordi. They were always snuggled up to each other and he looks more her speed. If they were PR then they did a very convincing job because he actually looked happy to be loved up on her and to be seen with her, unlike someone we know lol. And she looked happy to be with him. Plus, she actually posted him to her socials and they talked about one another all the time in the papers. So. It's wild the 360 there between Elordi and Austin.
And yes I do remember that she was broken up with him and then 1 month later she was seen with Austin. That's buckwild, and the fact we still do not know at all how they got together in the first place is very strange
But yes to everything you express here. Also the thing with Austin, I feel like he's still focused on his career that i think 2-3 years isn't long enough of a gap to be honest. He was with V for 9 and he never popped the question. This man is dead set serious on his career first. And conveniently so he also uses that as his excellent and genuine excuse to not allow engagement rumors to flame with K, seeing as that died in less than half an hour with a quickness on social.
Let's just be fucking real here, K is not his forever girl. I feel like whenever Austin meets his one true love that he'll marry then he'll be all about it. People are getting married AND having children at older ages now, and while he's only gonna be 32 this year that is still young to where he could wait until mid/late 30s to get hitched. Who knows. The man has plenty of time, he's in no rush clearly. She however is only 21 and she's still a child and she needs more time to mature and grow as an adult with life experience. As a near 30 year old woman I remember how I thought i was tough shit and knew everything at her age and thought i was soooo grown up. But hell no, you're still a kid.
When someone is dying to get married, you have to question the reason why. There could be deep seated insecurities where by a certain age one feels like their clock is ticking and they need to settle down with the next available person immediately. Or maybe it's for security financially, etc. It could also just be desperation in order to feel like you're wanted. I'm looking at V here because she moved on with that Cole guy so quick and got engaged so quick and throws shade to Austin all the time. Still bitter about not being Vanessa Butler lol. But rushing down the isle is a big mistake. Austin's background dictates that he knows 100% the seriousness of a commitment and he will not just marry any woman when he knows divorce could maybe be in his future.
aaaaaand end rant lol. I pray Austin finds the Pam to his Jim one day!
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skibasyndrome · 27 days
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Hey Simon 💜,
9, 10, 11, 14, 19, 20, 21, 23, 27, 28, 29 and 30 for the music ask thingie (sorry I know those are a lot feel free to just answer to the ones you want to answer)
Hope you'll have a wonderful rest of the day!
Hiiii Sophia! Thank you so much for all the numbers! I skipped some that I already got in another ask 💜💜💜
9:A song that makes you happy
Ohhh, I immediately think of photosynthese by Dilla & emi x because we somehow always end up listening to that when we are having a fun game or dance or just vibing night with my friends and so I've been pavloved to get instant happiness from it!
10:A song that makes you sad
Oh god, SO many!!! But Little Death by +44 will aaaaalways hit so hard. Aaaaand I love that we had those talks about connecting it to Wilmon hehe <3
14:A song that you would love played at your wedding
Oh this question feels like a biiig commitment. But I thought of I'm Ready (specifically the MTV Unplugged version) by Bryan Adams and I feel like that's a very good slow dance wedding song, although it also makes me wanna cry, but maybe that's a good thing?
19:A song that makes you think about life
Welcome Home, Son by Radical Face just feels like... idk. Nostalgia and future at the same time? I can't explain it tbh. Also I don't even think I know the lyrics, whenever that song comes up I am 100% vibes.
20:A song that has many meanings to you
Pheeeeew hmmm, this is very difficult because I usually settle on one interpretation for most songs I listen to. I guess one of my all time favorites that I don't have a fixed interpretation for is Stockholm Syndrome by blink-182
21:A favorite song with a person’s name in the title
Is it cheating if it's a name from ancient myths? Because if not, I've got two for you! Icarus by Bastille (this song fucks, I have no other way of explaining it) and Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths (thanks for the fire fanfic title and for the beautiful ache in my heart I get literally every single time I listen to this)
23:A song that you think everybody should listen to
This is so much harder than ALL the other questions, omfg. One song that feels so... magical that I want lots more people to know it is Familiar by Agnes Obel
30:A song that reminds you of yourself
Okay instead of going kinda philosophical with this: Walking Disaster by Sum 41 will not only forever be the soundtrack of my teenage years, but "Son of all bastards" (aka the title of this very blog lol) is easily one of my favorite lines ever and feels very me
Send me music asks
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bibbykins · 2 years
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Would you say Jungkook is the most composed crazy? His comments from the most recent chapter of Household Bunny were giving off that vibe of just watching the shit show LOLL. he's so smug ugh ❤️😍👑 any insight you can provide on how you make your characterization of each boy so different from each other? With certain boys more interested in romantic actions over sexual actions, love languages, etc. I like that you have a defined type of crazy for each one and not just all the same.
Hmmm I would actually say Jin, Yoongi, or Namjoon are the most composed kind of crazy (not that they don't have a breaking point evidently lmaoooo) but I will say he was the most calm (on the outside) this chapter because he's seen MC in the state she was in when she was talking about her trauma before. In fact, he's seen her vulnerable the most amount of times out of everyone there, so it didn't hit him as hard. (Not to say he wasn't losing his mind sitting there lol) But almost none of the other guys have seen her that upset before, so that's he was taking it the best (by default)
Jungkook has such a short temper that when he snaps, boy does he snap. I mean, he's a whole worldwide idol and he did not hesitate to absolutely wail on Donghee in the middle of a hospital lmao.
With Jin and Namjoon it takes much more for them to snap like that. Jin only snapped bc he thought he was a breath away from losing MC and it was making him absolutely spiral rip. Yoongi, however, can snap easier than Jin and Namjoon but he snaps in that eerie silent way.
As for their characterization, omg thank you I'm always worried they're not distinct enough, but I would say the fact that my initial inspo for the series being Brother's Conflict (I got this idea when I was like 16 lol) and me assigning certain brothers (excluding the 10 yr old ofc) to certain guys helped a lot in hammering down their characterization. Of course I didn't seriously write this until I was like 21 so a lot has changed to separate me from the premise's inspo (which as an adult I can see was very questionable at best, but nostalgia is rlly out here so I won't be too harsh about it rn lmao) but the simple fact that all those years ago I had to kind of figure out how I wanted them to be in a vague sense seriously helped!
Something that helps way more was giving each of them their own confession drabble, so that way I could establish how they are around MC one on one. Also the asks I get asking about how specific members would react to a certain situation really help me examine my writing regularly and make sure I keep their characterization as distinct as I can!
The feminine urge to keep rambling about each member's characterization remains strong, but I'll end it here for now and hope I made some sense lmao! Thank you for the kind words, my dear!!
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leqclerc · 2 years
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Thank you very much for your answer, I hadn't read the most recent interview. Unfortunately there were already rumours about Ferrari focusing on adapting the car to Carlos, seeing it confirmed is just sad... They are so stupid if they think he can win the championship. The only race he won was gifted to him, so either they're delirious or it's really a matter of sponsors. I wouldn't be surprised... And yes, I also was like ??? after the cake video. Especially since it looked like the cake wasn't as well made as the one they gave to Carlos on his birthday, but that might be just me. Anyway, really low, hope they won't pull this same shit next year or they'll actually risk losing Charles. No matter how much he loves this team, he gets fed up when he loses and if he keeps losing because they think only about Carlos, it won't be long until Charles starts to consider better teams...
No problem! ❤️
Sometimes I wonder if I'm exaggerating but it really is frustrating, the double standards, how far they're willing to go for Charles. The trivial stuff, the performative, they're all over that. But when it comes to anything more serious, all that steadfastness disappears and they're left fumbling with no real direction or clarity. I know this isn't on the mechanics or engineers, it's a bigger issue that has its roots up on a managerial level - which makes it all the more concerning.
It's just silly that a historic, iconic team is avoiding putting their foot down and taking action because they, what, don't want to hurt feelings or cause offense? If the championship was awarded based on social media activity then sure, they're in with a chance, but sadly it's not an online popularity contest. And really by trying to keep everyone happy they've paradoxically caused a situation where no one is 100% happy. Carlos is aggrieved because he feels people are rooting for Charles and not him; Charles isn't getting concrete number one backing from the team and the car is developed away from his preferences and driving style, so who is this current approach benefiting?
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According to Carlos there's "no finger pointing," except Mattia's literal and figurative finger wagging at Charles...When the car eats its tyres after three laps it's Charles's fault because he's pushing too hard, etc.
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You've got Mattia calling Charles a "champion" and Elkann backing him as their championship hope but they're all just empty words when they do nothing to show they're behind him 100%. Idk if they think they're appeasing people that way or that they're trying to pretend they're maintaining some semblance of control over the whole thing but it's disappointing when they talk, and talk, and talk, and absolutely nothing comes of it because Charles still gets bad strategy calls, no clearly defined role as the lead driver, and occasionally even has to shoulder the blame for the team's fuck ups. I mean the fact that he had to lower his expectations from "let's win the title" to "hey guys let's try not to make critical errors that cost us points and positions" is telling.
Like how can the TP say they're an iconic team and deserve to be back at the front, winning again, and then the moment they hit a snag he backs out of all his claims and downplays the entire title campaign, as if they found themselves there completely accidentally, as if they built a car capable of winning and named it in an homage to their 2000 car (that ended a 21 year championship drought) for the lols? The lack of accountability and a clear narrative are so detrimental to the perception of the team from the outside...you don't just move the goalposts on a whim, you don't throw in the towel because something went wrong like five races into a 22 race season...
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blogger-yura · 3 years
Text
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Entry #26 Oct 21st '21
#YurasLife #ChoisDiaries #Cat #Animals #Adopt
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𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐓𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐝𝐚𝐲 - 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢'𝐬 𝐀𝐝𝐨𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
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Hello hello my pretty angels! ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭ How are you doing today! How is the week treating you all? Have you been sleeping enough? Eating well? Staying hydrated? I certainly hope so! Do you guys have any plans for today? Thursdays are chill days for me, for some reason. I never seem to do much on them in comparison to other days! Do you have a day like that? Just like, a boring day? LOL
Since I don't have much to do, and therefore don't have much to share on Thursdays! I'm doing another little throwback~. This time I guessed I could share the story of how I got this dumbass, since many of you seem to have liked Choi ♡ Also it's been a while since be last featured!
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So, now it's been almost a year and a half since I got lil Choi? Maybe! He's still pretty much a baby, I sometimes forget since he's so big! It feels like it's been forever too.
When I first moved from Busan I was having a super hectic and busy life- First few months in a new city, all alone, trying to figure out how to survive and stuff, I didn't really realize how lonely I was gonna feel because I didn't have time to do so. I actually moved to Seoul without a plan, you know? Didn't have a real place, didn't have a job or a lot of money. You know know they say! You never know until you try! So I really did try and went big and moved across the country hahaha Luckily everything worked out well! But when I moved into my ~current~ apartment and settled down properly I grew bored soooo fast! I had a small part time job as I was focusing on my projects but I was all alone and it was boring and kinda sad (。•́︿•̀。)
A friend I made sent me an Instagram post back then, actually. I would talk to him about how I was thinking about getting a pet to keep me company but I wasn't sure because I had never taken care of another being before. Hs stumbled upon this shelter though, a few stray kittens had arrived (Choi and his siblings!) and were looking for a new forever home! I did hesitate a little, adopting a pet its scary! Especially when they're babies, they depend on you so much and I was so worried I wasn't fit enough for it.
I think I actually decided yes like, a month later? Choi was the only one left! And to be honest it was an instant connection! He was sooo happy to see me and I was so moved by his sole existence (〒﹏〒) So I took him home that day! I was lucky he was sooo well behaved on his own too, learned how to use his litter box so fast and would sit quietly waiting for food every day, honestly a dream cat for a new mom hahaha!
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Sometimes I wonder how it would've been if I had gotten him sooner? Or not at all, alternatively. I don't think I would've been able to make it without this dummy, he's been such awesome support for me! I wonder if he knows too, how much he means to me. I don't think I'd have this kind of connection with any other cat.
Do you think pets realize? All the things they mean and do for us. Do you think they know or feel it when we feel a certain way? I remember sometimes, on my harsher days alone, Choi would just come up to me and snuggle as if he knew I needed it.
I think pets are also a soulmate of sorts for us, they teach us so much in such unique ways! I certainly think they're a little magical on their own small ways.
Anyway! I'll stop now because this is getting too long and silly! Do you have pets, though? How did they come into your lives? I'd love to know and see them! Please send pics of your babies to me ♡
I hope you guys enjoyed today's post! I'll make sure to bring Choi around more often for your guys entertainment too hahaha Please take care! Stay warm and always remember that I love you! I'll see you around soon~ All the love, -Yura ♡
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🧡: @madmanwoodam @vitoria-oc @archangel-oc @shin-haneul @lunaaofthemoon @moongoddesselene @jinju-oc @ochouse @cbville @esmeralda-oc @jihan-oc
@cb-museclub @achillesunwoo @ares-bc @warblerchangmin @mafia-chae @unseelie-dejun @skzcbspam @betrayerjongup @ppg-3ye @moonlightchn @temptationcb @demigodnct @vampiremomo @suburbanbots @antiromantic-jun @roommates-bot @modelyonghee @floristyujeong @literature-bot @eunwoo-bot @hopelessromantic-juyeon @silvernightcb @choipaths @botuniverse @modelsora @adorbsana @richsocietybot @runawayscb @godly-bots @hwangxmaximoff @velvetparadise @berryjinnie @revengebots @urown-im @azieville-institution @7deadlysins-chan @journeythroughtime @mverses
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icameheretowinry · 2 years
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I’m really sorry if this is too personal but I’m trying to figure my life out and feel like I might be ace… I know it’s a dumb question but how do you like… KNOW? Lol sorry if this is discombobulated I’m just having a lot of thoughts and would love to hear from someone who’s been there done that!!! Obv only if you feel comfortable talking about it of course ❤️
Hi bestie! You're right that this is a personal question, but I am MORE than happy to answer. I wish I had someone to talk to when I was trying to figure this all out, so I'd be happy to (try to) help you out!
**a couple disclaimers**
I am by NO means an expert on the nuances of asexuality. This is all based on my own research and personal experience.
ALSO to anyone else reading this post if you don't think ace/aro people are valid members of the LGBT+ community, you can kindly fuck off this post and my blog :)
*AHEM*
So real talk. I didn't even know about asexuality until I was 21. It wasn't taught in school. I actually found out about it on tumblr, and was then prompted to do my own research. I put a LOT time into research and soul searching. I actually didn't feel comfortable identifying with this label until I was around 24.
But HOPEFULLY I can cut down on the processing time for you! :D
Figuring out exactly how you know is, unfortunately, not a simple answer. BUT I will try my best to give you things to think about/questions to ask yourself.
FIRST. You should know that asexuality is a spectrum... in several different directions. Asexuality is not just confined to people who don't experience sexual attraction at all. You can identify as ace and still experience sexual attraction. The key is that it happens a LOT less frequently than it does for allosexual people.
ALSO. There is another spectrum from sex-repulsed to sex-positive. No matter where along this spectrum you fall, you're still valid. Just because you're ace, you don't have to think the horizontal tango is gross. That's just a stereotype.
SECOND. There is a distinct difference between libido and sexual attraction. This realization absolutely blew my three braincells into orbit. I can't say it will be like that for you, but this tiktok was something I found VERY helpful and VERY affirming.
FINALLY. I would suggest looking at your own track record. Have you ever been in a relationship? A physical relationship? If yes, did you enjoy it? If not, do you fundamentally feel like you're missing out? How many crushes have you had and what is the processing time between them?
FINALLY FINALLY??? Take a second to think objectively about what you think of the woohoo. What does it mean to you and what level of importance does it hold?
For me, I see the experience holding about the same level of importance or significance as someone recommending me an album of an artist I don't know. It must be really popular for a reason, and I'm somewhat curious, but if I don't get around to listening to it, it's not the end of the world.
I'm sorry this is so long, but I really hope it helps you! Like I said, I'm no expert, but I'm always here to support anyone trying to come to terms with this aspect of their identity.
If you have any additional questions or just want to chat, please feel free to dm me! I'm here to be a listening ear and resource!
Much love and support!!
-Nikki
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mooniefics · 3 years
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— a life in your shape
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pairing : jean kirschtein / reader
word count : 2.5k
tags : unrequited love, pining, near death experience, confession of love, hurt no comfort lol
warnings : canon-typical violence, descriptions of injury to the reader
summary : you've always wanted it, always pictured it, always ached for it. you loved when jean looked you way. all you'd ever wanted was a life with him, not just a life in his shape.
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— originally posted 1 / 22 / 21 on ao3 —
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the mess hall was buzzing with life, rowdy with the chatter of dozens of cadets seated at long tables and speaking through swallows of their food. glasses were lifted and set down, bowls and plates clinking, utensils scraping sharply over various surfaces, nearly so loud that you could barely hear yourself think. but it all seemed to come to an abrupt silence when you settled your eyes back on him, taking in his formerly pale complexion now bronzy and sun-kissed from your hours of training, the annoyed yet playful glances he shot to connie and sasha as he worked through his soup and bread, full lips forming words that you couldn’t quite focus.
you were almost embarrassed of how smitten you were with jean, but in your mind, you couldn't understand how anyone wouldn't be taken with him. his thin frame had filled out with lean muscle in the year and a half that you'd been training together in the 104th corp, somehow managing to grow even taller than he already was on that first day, still so spirited with his persistence to be among the best of this class, a lively spark that never seemed to dampen gleaming behind his eyes.
"oh god, this again, jean?" you heard connie bemoan exaggeratedly, pulling you from the trance that you were surprised the other three at the table hadn't taken notice of.
jean was almost pouting now, and you would've found it so endearing had it not been the next words to spill from his mouth, indignant and full of tenacity. "don't be an ass, i've been trying to figure out a good excuse to sit with her for days now."
you followed his gaze despite knowing exactly who you'd find his eyes locked on, and forced yourself not to frown when you were met with the sight of mikasa just a few tables away.
"she's out of your league, man. not to mention having a thing for jaeger already, and not to mention that jaeger wouldn't hesitate to hand your ass to you again if you pissed him off like you always do. cut it out."
"connie, that's mean!" sasha feigned offense on jean's behalf, most likely for the sake of goading the reply that came as a distraction to snatch the remainder of bread from his plate.
"i'm just being honest with him here. he's asking for advice, so i gave him some. jean always talks about being realist and yet he— hey is that my food?!"
you turned away just as connie was lunging himself across the table, hearing the sounds of his fruitless efforts to tear the loaf from the girl's mouth, propping yourself up on your elbows and allowing your head to fall into your hands with a heavy sigh.
"what do you think?" in an instant, jean's eyes were on you, amber irises looking so intently at you that you could already feel a bothersome heat flushing your face. but registering his question sobered you, and stealing a glance at the beautiful dark-haired girl seated somewhere to your left was all in took to snuff out the light flutter in your chest.
"i don't know, jean. i think connie's kind of right about the whole eren thing." you were honest with him on a surface level, but it still didn't feel good to see him frown when you told him something he obviously didn't want to hear. you tried to remedy it by offering something more introspective—something a bit more true to your heart. "what i mean is that.. i think you're selling yourself short. mikasa obviously has her sights set elsewhere at the moment, and i just think you deserve someone who can bring the same sort of.." you struggled with your words for a moment, how could you not when he was leaning forward like that, listening so intently to you and you alone. "the same sort of passion. someone who can reciprocate." someone like me. but you bit those foolish words back.
"you understand, don't you?" he implored, looking past the bickering mess that sasha and connie had devolved to and gazing with such longing in the other girl's direction, "i mean.. i've never seen anyone like her, no one as beautiful.." each word gouged at your heart, a cold, empty sensation that left your chest feeling painfully hollow. "i know you're a girl, but you can see it too, right?"
you could see it, you were painfully aware of how you could never match up to her unfamiliar yet alluring features, that graceful, slender frame that could somehow soar through the air with ease and still thrown you down onto your back so hard it would knock the wind out of you, introversion that gave off such a charming air of mystery to her admirers.
"yeah," you mumbled back, ignoring how a huffing connie fell heavily back into his seat beside jean, defeated, sasha happily gulping down her unfairly earned chunk of bread, only taking notice of how jean was too fixated on mikasa to pay your dismay any mind, "i see it alright."
─── · 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
the air was thick with an unrelenting heat, stinking of steam and coppery with fresh blood, your vision fading in and out. your head was ringing with a deafening, high pitched peal and such an unbearable, crippling pain. you could feel your boots dragging across the hot dry dirt as something tugged you back by the collar of your shirt, and the terror of a titan with its misshaped limbs and mouth hauling you to your demise made you thrash aimlessly, screams for help spilling out as a disjointed groan of pain. and though it almost sounded as if you were underwater, sinking further and further beneath the lapping waves of your impending unconscious, you heard it, muffled, desperate, thick with tears, your name spilling from his lips.
and suddenly you remembered, you remembered the kidnapping and the unfaithful comrades and the mission to save humanity's last hope, your former friend now an almost unrecognizable abomination with ymir, bertholdt, and eren sitting atop his shoulders, clasped in his monstrous hands, that had now resorted to flinging titans in his primal desperation for escape. and as you blinked away the spots blacking out your vision, head lolling uselessly to the side, you could see your horse, half crushed in a puddle of red on the yellow grass, and realized that the warmth streaming down the side of your face is your own blood.
"jean..?" you mumbled, uselessly, barely coherent, but the near sob of relief from behind you is like an anchor back to reality.
you could see his calves on either side of you, feet kicking up clouds of dust as he pushed you both back, further from the fray and carnage, as far as he could muster. one of your blade scabbards was missing, you could feel that the clip on your gas tank had snapped off in your spectacular fall caused by the titan that was flung down in your path, irreparable damage most likely made to the fine mechanisms within the housing of your gear. you felt utterly hopeless, watching as the shade of a tree just barely shielded you from the blazing light of the sinking sun, hearing jean's gasping pants from behind you, feeling how rapidly his chest was rising and falling against the back of your head as you slumped into his body, leaden limbs weighing you down uselessly.
"jean." you wheezed, trying desperately to crane your heavy head back to meet his eyes one last time, eyes that no longer harbored the naive passion of youth but still gleamed so radiantly, "leave me.. here. you're g'nna— gonna die.. if you stay..."
you could feel his violent trembles now, feel him rip his green cloak from his shoulder to press against the throbbing wound on your head. "no. i-i'm staying. i n-n-need," he was scared, you knew he was terrified of allowing what happened to marco to happen to you, or sasha, or connie, or anybody, even if the boy's death was nowhere near his fault, "i need to s-save you."
but you could also feel something else—feel it coming—the terrible, earth trembling footfalls of a titan making a shambling, uncoordinated advance to you and the scent of your blood. and suddenly jean was screaming, a sound so raw and petrified that you couldn't help but cry yourself at the sound of it. he laid you down on the ground, bunched cloak pillowing your bleeding skull, unable to push himself to his feet but still drawing his last blade to swing at the thing coming to kill you both, covering your battered body with his own.
and in that moment, you hated yourself. though your head was swimming and your lucidity was waning, you knew that you would both die there, under the baking sun and in the jaws of a titan, and it would be your fault. every regret that you'd ever harbored flooded your mind: not hugging your mother long enough when you still had the chance, not drinking that liquor when squad leader hange had offered it to you, and, most of all, never having the bravery to be honest with jean.
and you mourned all that lost time in those final moments, every late night you'd spent as trainees under the stars when you and your friends would sneak out of the dormitories to talk at some ungodly hour, every shared meal where you didn't speak nearly enough to him, every second of the crushing embraces you'd offered each other when the thought of your fallen friends caught up to you and proved to be far too much to handle on your own. how could you have done so much yet so little with your life?
and just as the titan was stumbling upon you, jean's scream of terror dampening out into a faithless cry, the thing was gone, galloping away to join a newly assembled horde descending upon one single point on the plain. but somehow, you felt no relief, not as you reached out a weak, trembled hand to grasp the blood and dirt streaked fabric of his shirt.
and as he turned to you, eyes still wide and body shaking with horror, thrumming with the adrenaline of near-death, you whispered, hoarse and tired as your grasp on the world slipped away. "i love you, jean. i love you."
your eyes fell shut, the involuntary spiral down further and further into the deep waters of unconsciousness pulling you in deeper and deeper by the second. you were grateful that you at least got to say something meaningful as your last words.
─── · 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
there was a bright light, delicate, billowing fabric flouncing about in your bleary gaze as your eyes barely opened, something wrapped tight around your head, not making the pressure of the pounding headache any better. you couldn't fight the groan that even the small movement of turning onto your back caused, but you tried to force your lids open just an inch more at the sound of a gasp coming from somewhere in the room.
there were fast footsteps, a few shouts of "sasha, no!" and then a crushing weight on your chest, squeezing around you, pulling you up in bed as a tearful sob of your name came from a comfortingly familiar voice.
"sasha. please. h-hurts." you barely managed to croak out, feeling yourself been torn free—or rather, her  torn away—as connie yelled.
"get off them, you moron, they're fucking injured!!"
"i'm s-s-sorry!" she wailed, allowing herself to be dragged to the door by the disgruntled boy, "i'm j-just so happy you're s-s-still alive!!!"
"and i am too, but that doesn't mean i'm gonna go throw myself on top of them while they're in the hospital!"
their bickering was almost comforting in a way, allowing the strain in your chest from sasha's hug to ease as you watched them elbow each other in the sides on their way out of the room to take their loudness out into the hall, blowing raspberries and struggling to not laugh through their feigned anger. and finally your gaze was allowed to wander over to the furthest wall from your bed, and you saw jean, staring down at his shoes, brow furrowed and lip bitten. and he seemed almost startled to find yourself in his gaze, feet slowly taking him to your side.
"i owe you my life, you know?" you said as he settled himself on the edge of the mattress, still not meeting your gaze.
"you don't owe me anything. you shouldn't feel in debt to me."
"but i do," you risked to settle your hand over his, finally drawing his worried, amber eyes onto yours, and you could feel your heart beginning to pick up, the butterflies that you had always forced to settle with a pessimistic thought to squash your optimism light in your chest, "i meant what i said before i passed out in the field. i always have."
and for just a moment, you thought that this was finally it, that you would no longer have to languish over wasted time and wasted words, fingers just barely curling around his warm palm. then, a knock at the door, light and delicate before the handle turned, pushing open to reveal mikasa.
and you caught every small movement of jean's features, the way his eyes sparked with a familiar light, the sudden, faint flush of color across his slender face, lips parting and just barely perking up at the ends. an endless, unwavering adoration.
"eren is awake, if you'd like to talk to him." that was all she had peeked in to say, but jean was still gazing at the door for a moment too long after she'd left.
"u-um.. if you don't mind—"
"go ahead." you told him, gently, pulling your hand away, retreating as far as your body could into the mattress, under the covers, turning your gaze away.
and though he'd slowly, almost nervously exited your room, you could hear the clear pick-up in his pace as soon as he'd shut the door behind him and exited into the hall, probably rushing to try and catch mikasa for a moment alone in the hallway before he had to share her attention with everyone else.
and it hurt, like a blade buried between your ribs, being jerked and twisted with every memory of his affinity, the one that was never directed at you despite how you craved it. and you'd realized that you had melded a life in his shape, a life where you were always just a few steps too far behind, hand outstretched, reaching for him as you hurried to grasp at any minuscule opportunity to be with him, speak to him, hear his laugh and see his near blinding smiles that never seemed to last long enough to you.
but, perhaps one day, someday farther into the future. and if not then, maybe in another life.
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ratsoh-writes · 2 years
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May I please have a match-up?
I'm a 21 yrs old straight woman. I'm 5'4'', have blonde hair I dye red, blue/green eyes, and pale skin with a pink undertone and freckles galore, and a soft pear shape. I like drinking coffee, sewing, draw, swim, play tennis, lift weights (I can't get crazy muscles even if I try.. and I do), collect knives and I know how to use them if I had to, be with animals, soul trait is integrity, won't fake anything or lie, he will know what I think of him for sure and I'd want the same thing, he doesn't have to worry about 'guy besties'.. I don't have any and wouldn't want any with him around.. reserve myself for him solely, I'd only let him get my love and see me immodestly, am very private and reserved, have depression I deal with, I also deal with sensory overload a lot and panic attacks but will normally hide away during them because I don't like being seen like that, have a history of past abuse of narcotic medication and alcohol but it's behind me and I avoid those things like the plauge, not competitive at all (I don't compete for a man), can get reclusive and silent if I'm n a mood but will communicate if he opens conversation, once I'm with someone I'm very docile and domestic and submissive and mellow and protective if I need to be, will pretty much go along with whatever he wants to do and like whatever it is because my love language is quality time. (And can b a bit of a pervert.. always down for kisses and cuddles and 😏💚.. like yes! Grab me and Smack my ass and love me! Lol)
I also appreciate and give him room him to return the love I'd give. And I would give a lot into the relationship.
I don't like liars (if I catch a lie it'll b very hard for me to stick around if I do at all), being compared to other people, being talked over, someone leaving me n the dust n favor of another person, the words 'i don't care' or 'u can come over if u want' (idk the word for how that is but u know what I mean.. I hope),;being made to feel like I can't say what I feel I need to or feel a certain way about a situation. Not too picky about looks. I form emotional connections before physical. I'm fairly easy to get with and I like to move at a quicker pace than some r ok with.
~S😉
Hmmm after a lot of debate… I’m matching you with..
Star! (Underswap sans)!
What attracts star to you is your integrity. You aren’t afraid to be honest about yourself and how you’re feeling. Star is a popular monster. Sometimes people will hide themselves in fear of him judging them. Star hates that!! He loves everything about his partner, strengths and flaws, and wants them to trust him!
He’s a very active guy, so you enjoying exercise is a huge bonus. He loves taking you along with him and his other jock buddies for workouts
Star can get jealous sometimes, but he’s a good communicator and will tell you when something is bothering him. He just needs a little reassurance. He’s totally cool with you having other guy friends and will in fact “set you up” with some of his best friends so you can enjoy hanging out with them too lol. He’s a very social monster
Star is a total perv. You have been warned lol he is going to smack your bum whenever you wear something tight, and you will like it ;)
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drivemysoul · 2 years
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🐣🐨🦔🐢🐄🐸🐧🦭
DID YOU LIKE MY COUNTDOWN!? That was fun! I had fun. That was actually more fun than I thought it would be! There were too many good posts to name. It was very fun reading all your comments and theories.  Though side note: animal anon has no problem with people joining her BUT it must be animals and it must not mess with my countdown. No statues! Animal anon does animals, not statues. Side side note: can someone settle the debate of if that emoji is a hedgehog or a porcupine? Because I have no idea. Side note side note side note: sorry if you got multiple asks in a day...my system isn't perfected yet so sometimes I send two (or three) because I forgot I sent one and didn't want to accidently miss anyone (also sorry if i did miss you, still perfecting the system, no one has been animal anon blacklisted, i promise!)
Anyway, GUESS WHAT TODAY IS!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 It's been one year since I started animal anon! How exciting is that?! Phew, what a year we've had together! I mean what better way to start this second year than some chaos since that's how animal anon started to begin with! I will admit, it was slightly stressful coming up with something to meet the occasion of this event. I hope the countdown and this post live up to it. No, I'm not going to reveal myself just yet.. maybe that will be for year 2...😏😏. BUT I will give you some fun facts about me! So let's see; first, I'm from the Midwest (so not Canadian, but close so I do have a slight accent), but I currently live in the TriState area. Second, I am a MASSIVE theater nerd. No, seriously I have been to 21 shows since Broadway reopened in September and I'm actually going to my 22nd tonight. I don't know if this makes that fact better or worse, but I've really only been to about 12 different show because out of those 22, 10 of those are one specific show. Third, I am fluent in German and English. Though, I suck at writing in German, I never learned how to, so don't ask me to do that please. Fourth, my favorite color is red, so you can guess my favorite Taylor album (and coincidently also the show I've been to see 10 times on Broadway...). Fifth, I love to talk A LOT if you couldn't tell by the essays I send yall. And lastly, I can also confirm I am not Taylor...but I will say that I do share something very important with her... tell me your guesses down below as to what very important thing you think Taylor and I have in common, and I'll send some extra animals to whomever I see gets it right first!
So contuining on with my dissertation here, this week I have been trying to figure out a prompt to live up to this occasion. As I already mentioned, my system isn't perfect! And I've been thinking a lot about community lately and how that's been lacking for so many because of Covid. So what I want yall to do is if you get this dissertation of mine, please send a message, post, anon, whatever you want to at least 1 other blog (though you can do more), telling them something you like about them and giving them an animal emoji! That way we can keep spreading the love all day long to as many as possible! 🥰
As always, you are all brilliant, kind, worthy, beautiful and as this past week has shown, hilarious and unique human beings. No seriously, some of your posts had me kneeling over in laughter. If you would so like, you can tag #animalanon so I and everyone can read all your lovely posts! IM STARTING EARLY TODAY SO WE CAN PARTY ALL DAY LONG BECAUSE I LOVE YALL SO MUCH 🎊 🦥🦁🐯
HAPPY ANIMAL ANON ANNIVERSARY OMG 🥺 i love your asks and i get so excited when i see them lol you’ve brought so much joy to the community and we’re all glad you’re around animal anon!!
22 broadway shows is super impressive, i hope you had a good time tonight!!!! and german is such a cool language i’m so jealous omg
hmm, i’m leaning towards you maybe singing or performing for what you have in common with taylor? especially if you like going to see lots of shows?
that’s such a cute idea omg, that’s so sweet 🥺 you seriously spread so much kindness here i love this<3 congrats on a year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🥺🥺✨✨✨
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(i couldn’t find any gifs okay skdbdkdbdj)
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evermoredeluxe · 2 years
Note
🐣🐨🦔🐢🐄🐸🐧🦭
DID YOU LIKE MY COUNTDOWN!? That was fun! I had fun. That was actually more fun than I thought it would be! There were too many good posts to name. It was very fun reading all your comments and theories.  Though side note: animal anon has no problem with people joining her BUT it must be animals and it must not mess with my countdown. No statues! Animal anon does animals, not statues. Side side note: can someone settle the debate of if that emoji is a hedgehog or a porcupine? Because I have no idea. Side note side note side note: sorry if you got multiple asks in a day...my system isn't perfected yet so sometimes I send two (or three) because I forgot I sent one and didn't want to accidently miss anyone (also sorry if i did miss you, still perfecting the system, no one has been animal anon blacklisted, i promise!)
Anyway, GUESS WHAT TODAY IS!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 It's been one year since I started animal anon! How exciting is that?! Phew, what a year we've had together! I mean what better way to start this second year than some chaos since that's how animal anon started to begin with! I will admit, it was slightly stressful coming up with something to meet the occasion of this event. I hope the countdown and this post live up to it. No, I'm not going to reveal myself just yet.. maybe that will be for year 2...😏😏. BUT I will give you some fun facts about me! So let's see; first, I'm from the Midwest (so not Canadian, but close so I do have a slight accent), but I currently live in the TriState area. Second, I am a MASSIVE theater nerd. No, seriously I have been to 21 shows since Broadway reopened in September and I'm actually going to my 22nd tonight. I don't know if this makes that fact better or worse, but I've really only been to about 12 different show because out of those 22, 10 of those are one specific show. Third, I am fluent in German and English. Though, I suck at writing in German, I never learned how to, so don't ask me to do that please. Fourth, my favorite color is red, so you can guess my favorite Taylor album (and coincidently also the show I've been to see 10 times on Broadway...). Fifth, I love to talk A LOT if you couldn't tell by the essays I send yall. And lastly, I can also confirm I am not Taylor...but I will say that I do share something very important with her... tell me your guesses down below as to what very important thing you think Taylor and I have in common, and I'll send some extra animals to whomever I see gets it right first!
So contuining on with my dissertation here, this week I have been trying to figure out a prompt to live up to this occasion. As I already mentioned, my system isn't perfect! And I've been thinking a lot about community lately and how that's been lacking for so many because of Covid. So what I want yall to do is if you get this dissertation of mine, please send a message, post, anon, whatever you want to at least 1 other blog (though you can do more), telling them something you like about them and giving them an animal emoji! That way we can keep spreading the love all day long to as many as possible! 🥰
As always, you are all brilliant, kind, worthy, beautiful and as this past week has shown, hilarious and unique human beings. No seriously, some of your posts had me kneeling over in laughter. If you would so like, you can tag #animalanon so I and everyone can read all your lovely posts! IM STARTING EARLY TODAY SO WE CAN PARTY ALL DAY LONG BECAUSE I LOVE YALL SO MUCH 🎊 🦥🦁🐯
ANIMAL ANON HI I LOVE YOU SO MUCH💗 happy one year!!!!! 🥳 i had so much fun with this countdown, you’re the best for doing this and including everyone.
i can confirm that it’s a hedgehog not a porcupine. also, i’ve seen the most insane theories and none of us guessing that it’s the 1 year anniversary is the most swiftie thing ever, we’re all dumb and can’t see signs lol. also, i guess you also have cats or that you share your birthday with taylor. you can speak german?? wowwww. i’ve never ever been to broadway (ps red is your fav? taste) but it’s amazing that you love it so much! and you going to the same show 10 times is so funny in an adorable way. i hope you have a great time at the play today! sending you love and hugs 🫂
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sweetescapeartist · 3 years
Text
DBS COLORING BOOK CHAPTER 74 REVIEW
*spoilers* I liked this chapter in isolation.
*spoilery spoilers* I dislike this chapter when comparing it to other chapters.
Here's the battle Vegeta fans have been waiting for...! (Glad I lowered my greatly expectations)
First, let's talk about use of panels real quick. When there is action, Toyo has done better and uses about 6 panels max to convey the fight. But when there is dialogue, he uses too many panels. Like 7 to 9 panels on one page. That is too much for dialogue. And he has pointless reaction shots often.
It begins with the axolotl inspired Sugarians leaving their fishbowl homes through cleaning-tube roadways. I like their aquarium-like city and their buildings.
And here we are on page 2 with the Toyotaro dialogue. 😒 How can I tell? Compare it to Dragon Ball and you can easily tell the difference between Toriyama's dialogue & Toyotaro's dialogue. (Toriyama has been more focused with working on the DBS movies. I highly doubt he contributes as much to the manga as some fans believe.)
Vegeta sounds like Mr. Satan when calling fusion and cloning "tricks" lol. And no, I doubt Vegeta's Forced Spirit Fission would work on Granolah. Granolah split himself in 2 with a technique. It is still all Granolah & he hasn't absorbed anyone. Forced Spirit Fission is useless here.
Granolah sure is chatty again after he kept saying how he really really wants to kill these Saiyans. Vegeta tells him he parted ways with Freeza and he is an enemy now, as to which Granolah laughs. Granolah thinks Vegeta is betraying Freeza to spare his own life. This just let's us know what kind of person Granolah is...
Granolah is a nonsensical idiot who doesn't know how to reason well & doesn't listen to truth because he assumes he is already right. I don't like ppl like him who refuse to grow mentally. I went from liking Granolah, to not caring about his bland personality, to disliking him. 😑
Oatmeel's input is pointless because he doesn't sway Granolah into believing the Saiyans may not be lying. He quickly gives up and becomes quiet. Vegeta informs Granolah that he was a child when Planet Cereal's ppl were killed and wasn't part of the attack. But he doesn't care and Paragus wants revenge against the royal family... I mean, Baby wants revenge on all Saiya... Granolah wants to kill all Saiyans.
Then we get Vegeta saying he will kill Granolah after barely talking to the guy who was willing to talk. I guess Vegeta just wants to fight and test his power instead of trying to redeem himself like earlier chapters implied and fans theorized. Throw that out the window.
He turns SSB Evolution & Hakai's large rocks around Granolah. But Granolah appears behind him and shows Vegeta true hakai. He elevates a big chunk of the ground & blows it up then the force pushes Vegeta to him and Granolah strikes him. Cool way to use the environment in battle.
Also, Granolah knows Hakai. He shows it off by using his own more powerful Hakai & suggests Vegeta's training with Beerus is lacking.
There is some cool looking art. Their fight moves from forest to river to lake. Interesting environment s for DB. Reminds me of the Cooler movie and the fights on Namek a bit.
This entire time, Vegeta is on the defensive and has to run. But, I find pages 16-21 silly.
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Why is Vegeta swimming when he can fly through the water?! Swimming is slower & Granolah is firing fast ki blasts at him!
YOU: "But, Vegeta is swimming so Granolah can't detect his ki."
Granolah can see him! His right eye is supposed to see blood flow and stuff. He nearly hits him multiple times. And lets not forget he was sniping them long distance and his Goku in the neck and almost took him out. Why does Granolah need aim assist now? I'll tell ya why. To make Vegeta look more impressive than Goku by making Goku look like a poor fighter. And this was a Goku who was using Ultra Instinct and still got messed up by Granolah while Vegeta is just using SSB Evolution. Character sabotage... 😒
Back to my complaints about Vegeta swimming. The swimmin' would work in OG Dragon Ball but not here. It would work on Namek with Freeza who can't sense ki, but not here with Granolah who can sense ki (& maybe even god ki) & his eye can percieve all kinds of movements of the body.
And why does Vegeta momentarily pop up out the water then go hide back into it? Don't say its 'cause he needs to catch his breath. He aparently did training holding his breath while on the Heeter's ship, so he should be fine holding his breath. It was for a short period of time anyways. It just doesn't fit and is unnecessary in multiple ways.
Vegeta Hakai's Granolah's big blast to escape it and it blows him out of the water. Interesting kinda... Until you realize that Vegeta's training that we were shown was lame. He just Hakai'd logs & rocks! It should've shown him trying to Hakai ki blasts from Beerus. Make his training look cool darn it!
Chapter 70 Established that Hakai has changed. It no longer is just erasing things from existence in different ways. It has to have a *boom* explosion to it. So when Beerus Hakai'd Zamasu in chapter 19, there should've been an explosion instead of turning him into sand? So, now whenever the Hakai is used, there will always be an explosion...? I don't like how Toyo is quick to change what he set up just for his convenience...
Granolah brags about himself then Vegeta brags about himself-...! That's why I dislike Granolah! He's just like Vegeta! Maybe if I stop thinking of Granolah as a "good guy" then he will be cooler? I did like evil Vegeta as an evil character. We were supposed to hate him. So, if I imagine Granolah as an evil Vegeta... It worked! Granolah's unappealing attitude works perfectly if you view him as an evil enemy! (Still kinda preachy tho)
VEGETA: "But I'm still going to win."
Vegeta fans rejoice! Your prayers have been answered by the great Zalama! Vegeta announced victory...! Wait... I've seen this before... Yo... Vegeta fans, prepare for Vegeta to be defeated just in case. He has a record of announcing victory then ultimately losing. Don't get your hopes up too high.
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Lol Granolah disses Vegeta's ego 👌. But Granolah is unknowingly talking about himself too XD. Dummies. Vegeta mocks him by calling him "Mr. Strongest" & Granolah has nothing to day. Granolah can dish it out but can't take it.
Goku wakes up and sees Vegeta fighting Granolah. Who cares? How are you gonna be caught off gaurd in a form that reacts on its own? Go back to sleep. I'm not mad at you, Goku. I'm just disappointed.
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Vegeta fires a barrage of ki at Granolah and Granolah Hakai's them. Then Vegeta fools Ganolah into destroying an ancient city of the Cerelians.
VEGETA: "I can tell, you know... That you only recently acquired this absurd strength."
GRANOLAH: "How? How can you tell?"
VEGETA: "Thank you for confirming."
There's the Granolah we know. Quick to give out valuable info. Also, this is to make Vegeta appear "smarter" & a "better fighter" than Goku. Realistically, a master martial artist like Goku would be first to notice that Granolah recently acquired this kind of power. But, Goku is being dumbed down for Vegeta's sake.
VEGETA: "Need I repeat myself...? You may be stronger but... there's no gaurantee that I'll lose to you!" *attempts to break Granolah's leg*
So says the guy who always loses unless the opponent is weaker than him. But, he even lost to weaker opponents on Earth before, so....
Vegeta fans calm down, calm down. This is basic Vegeta dribble. Let's be real. When has Vegeta ever defeated an opponent that was stronger than himself? Never. When has Vegeta become stronger than his opponent and defeat them because they're weaker than him now? Always. Does Vegeta ever win when he is too cocky? Nope. This is to hype y'all up. Don't be mad if he loses. Y'all know this routine. The arc ain't even over so the chances of him winning are low.
Now let's examine Vegeta's fight in comparison to Goku's fight.
Goku goes through all his forms & uses Ultra Instinct in base, SSJ, SSG, SSB, & then goes silver haired UI when fighting Granolah. Then, he loses in every form. Vegeta goes straight to Blue Evolution and only seriously gets hurt once.
Goku keeps getting hit despite having a technique that is all about evasion. Vegeta gets hit far less & doesn't have Ultra Instinct.
Goku was struggling to fight a clone that was half the power of Granolah. Vegeta fights Granolah at his full power and struggles less.
Goku complains about his training and how he is struggling using his technique. Vegeta who had less time with Hakai training isn't complaining about struggling with Hakai.
Goku far surpassed Vegeta in the Moro arc, yet they are crippling Goku to let Vegeta catch up & make him look better. Vegeta has literally gotten a handout that he didnt have to work hard for in order to catch up with Goku... This chapter is fine when isolated and you aren't thinking about any other previous chapter. But, it is a convoluted mess when you look back at the previous chapters, the piss poor storytelling, & Vegeta's poor Hakai training that leads up to this chapter.
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Where'd that "heroic" Vegeta and that "redemption" stuff go? Its as if Toyotaro decided he should stop tying to make Vegeta the hero & main character instead of Goku being the main. (Thank God.)
But... Vegeta says that he loves fights that are unpredictable?? That I disagree completely with. Vegeta wants fights to go in his favor through all of DBZ and will throw a fit when it doesn't.
In RoF: it was going in his favor so he loved it.
Destroyer Tournament arc: he didn't like that things didn't go his way in the end.
Future Trunks arc: he was upset when losing to Black, but loved it when he thought he was going to win.
ToP: angry when everyone else surpassed him, happy when he gained an upperhand, upset when he lost the upperhand.
Moro arc: Vegeta is upset that Moro is stronger but even more upset that Goku is stronger than him. When he is stronger than Moro he is loving it. Then when he loses the advantage, he is upset.
Vegeta doesn't love unpredictable fights, Goku does! Vegeta loves predictable fights in his favor.
Granolah asks how many lives were sacrificed for Vegeta's carnage. Vegeta doesn't answer. Why? Because its best to ignore the fact that he has killed billions of ppl so that Vegeta fans can ignore his bad actions (Yet many say that Vegeta has developed so much without acknowledging his terrible past). Can't have Vegeta looking like a bad guy in this chapter, right?
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Oh boy! Page 37 is more "Vegeta hype!" He doesn't care about strongest or second strongest ('cause he has never been 1st place) & he basically explains Dragon Ball to us.
Roshi already taught Goku & Krillin that there will always be somebody stronger, so they need to keep reaching higher and higher.
If Vegeta is stronger than he was a few minutes ago, would that mean the same for Goku when he was fighting? Why did he perform so poorly? I wonder... 🤔
Granolah jabs Vegeta in the stomach, but Vegeta manages to slow it down (how come Goku using Ultra Instinct couldn't do that?). And cool. Blood. Anime has better writing and cool character development/moments. The manga has blood... Well, I guess blood is cooler to some ppl.
Vegeta is looking like Goku in the ToP before he attained UI. He has his head down & all. Vegeta just isn't talking about hownl much he sucks. Why does Goku keep insulting himself? N-nevermind. This is about Vegeta who keeps complimenting himself.
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Why did Granolah become scared of Vegeta suddenly? Wouldn't he just see him as a mad dog and use his amazing power to put Vegeta down before he can do anything? He hates them so much, but keeps letting them live.
Uh oh... Vegeta doesn't like protecting and saving? BuT I tHoUgHt hE wAs a hErO! Where is his development going?? Ya mean the real development he had in the anime or the pseudo development in the manga?
But even after saying all that... I prefer manga Vegeta to be like this instead of a wannabe hero. Wannabe hero doesn't fit. This feels like Vegeta is in character again. I like this. I was just criticizing how Vegeta was written in past chapters in comparison to this one. A more chill Vegeta who loves battles? This is what I've wanted from DBS manga Vegeta for a long time!
Oh snap! Vegeta's transforming? I wonder what it will look like (thanks for the warning from the leaks 👍). Oil... Why are you even in this chapter? We don't care about you right now & you're boring without Maki. Goku says it ain't "any old god ki."
I wonder how Goku never knew about this new form if he and Vegeta trained on Beerus Planet together. Ya think he would've sensed and saw it & even wanted to fight against it.
So is this new form a spur of the moment thing? So Vegeta has a new form that he never trained... And he asks if Granolah has been training his new power on page 34... Sounds hypocritical of Vegeta, or he is being thrown a bone to make him look capable. Is Vegeta gonna pull a Golden Freeza by not training this new form? Or maybe a UI Goku at the ToP and lose the form?
Page 43, Granolah shoots tiny ki blasts at Vegeta's tower of flaming ki and he is surprised it did nothing. Why not try again but this time use that one big blast instead. No? Gonna let the guy of the race you hate finish transforming? Just gonna be scared and shocked to make Vegeta look impressive? Ok.
Pages 41, 44, & 45
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Oh! Here it is! The new form...! Aaaand I still don't like it. Also, he healed up like Goku did last chapter too. Odd. Why does transforming heal them now? Didn't before.
No build up to make the form more cool, it's just
"Here, Vegeta. Goku has one more form than you do & he has mastered UI, so we can't let you fall too far behind. So I just pulled this crap transformation fresh outa my butt and gave it to you."
Another undeserved handout. Can you please make Vegeta earn a new form in the manga? PLEASE?!
Vegeta looks like he is in his own UI Omen form (like how Vegeta fans begged for Vegeta to get for the longest time). Dark hair with sone lighter coloured higlights, light coloured pupils, new aura. But this is what I see...
SSJ3ROSÉ of DESTRUCTION INSTINCT OMEN (or just "SSJ-ChexMix" for short)
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Looks like in the end, Vegeta needed to resort to his own Ultra Instinct equivalent!
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Oh no... I criticized Vegeta's bad writing too much! I bet some Vegeta fans are gonna automatically assume that I hate him because I want him to be written better without plotholes! 😱
IN CONCLUSION:
This chapter is good when isolated on its own. But, this chapter is filled with inconsistencies when you look back at previous chapters. Overall, it's... a mixed bag that I barely like. It's just so retarded that Goku had to be dragged through the mud just for Vegeta to look better. That is insulting to Vegeta and it either shows how much he sucks or or how weak the writing for Vegeta is. But we got what we got...
Wanna know how to make Vegeta look good without making Goku look pathetic? Goku never uses MUI! Goku defeats Granolah's clone with SSB. Then, Granolah merges back with his clone & catches SSB Goku by surprise and knocks him out.
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Then, the reason why Vegeta seems to be doing better is because Vegeta is using SSBE, unlike SSB Goku who was caught off guard. Why make the MUI form & Goku both look like trash just to give Vegeta his own Ultra (Destructive) Intinct? Is Vegeta really that trash?! 😓😴
I don't wanna see the Heeters anymore. My hype for them died, but maybe a later chapter can make me like them more. Idk.
Where is my homie, Moniato?! 🐌 (BEST CHARACTER OF THE ARC SO FAR!)
Oh yeah...I was supposed to complain about not seeing Freeza again like I do every chapter... Who cares at this point? If Granolah is stronger than Goku & Vegeta, what can Freeza do? Hide for 3 yrs and let Granolah die?
What are my predictions for next chapter? More Vegeta wanking of course. More gloating & looking down on Granolah too. A battle of overinflated egos. Bad dialogue and decent to good art. I'll probably find it mostly boring but I may be surprised (that could be a good or bad thing). Vegeta will appear to be winning before...
Vegeta gets defeated & certain Vegeta fans will rage & be annoying. Those ones will complain about how Vegeta always gets the short end of the deal (that's what he gets for being shorter than Bulma & 12 cm taller than Krillin). This one should happen imo based off of Goku's performance.
Vegeta's fight will get interrupted before the battle ends so that Vegeta fans don't get angry. Make Vegeta fans feel that Vegeta could've won and keep them grasping on to hope. (How manipulative.) This one is most likely to happen to "satisfy" all fans.
Vegeta will win and Vegeta fans will rejoice & some will be very annoying. Despite the fact that he had terrible training, was handed a new form just to stay relevant, and Goku had to underperform & UI had to be nerfed just to make Vegeta look good. This one may happen just to appease Vegeta fans. (That is the worst outcome imo.) If Vegeta gets "a win/a W" against a main villain, make sure his training looks impressive and he has some sort of connection to the main bad guy. That way the victory feels well deserved.
If the final enemy is Freeza, then Vegeta defeating Granolah isn't "a win" against a major villain. Granolah will just be a bump in the road. He's already set up to not be a "bad guy." In the end, the main bad guy will be either Freeza, Gas, 7-3, or someone. Vegeta fans shouldn't care if Vegeta wins or loses against Granolah. He isn't the "final boss."
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syubub · 3 years
Text
2021 Reading for BTS and the collective!!
Wow wow wow! I didn't disappear or get dragged away by a demon. No no, I just got thrust into unexpected shadow work and I now have an unhealthy obsession with sea shanties and a love of pasta.
I had this idea planned to be early in January but that didn't pan out so I'm doing it now. I have another yoongi reading in the works and another fun thing coming soon as well!!
I promise I won't bore you to death any longer but I hope you've all been doing well!!
Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact.
If this message doesn't apply, let it fly!
Cool cool cool.
Let's get it.
💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Oki. I first want to say that this I gonna be long lol. I did a meditation and gathered some little pieces of things y'all might need to hear and then I pulled cards for every month. The fountain tarot deck is the cards for us, the collective, and the rider-waite cards are for bts. It'll make more sense when I add picks and stuff. I did a little extra card pull for yoongi for the month of May too :) I'll make sure to type out all the cards in text so you know what they are (the pics are kinda wack.) I also used my pendulum to ask if there was a bts related event for every month and that's at the bottom. It's just to take in the possible energy for the month and something that could result from that energy!
LETTUCE BEGIN (hehe)
Starting with the section for the channeled messages. I want to reiterate that this was collective so if it doesn't resonate with you, the message might not be for you! Use your intuition.
(Enough talking. Damn)
So. As I said this was through meditation and connecting to the big column tree thing (I told my cousin about the tree/pillar and they were like,, "so basically a big energy dildo in the æther?" .... I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. h e l p m e) and asking if there was any messages or advice that needed to be delivered and it was... intresting?
Things came fragmented. So there was little messages like, "Its gonna be okay" and "things are changing for everyone" and "open your eyes if you want to see" (that's sassy.) There was one particular thing that was confusing me though. Straight up it was just "flower" on repeat and like a really bad picture of a flower? Like you could tell what it was but it was bad quality. Anyway, I was like "okay. Kindly shut the fuck up. Pls." And I wrote down flower, pink flower and rose. Sooo.... idk but there you go.
More messages were things like, "the block isn't in your head", "try calling forth that which you seek" and... February. Possibly there is specific (very very very loose) connection to the 10th-19th? I'm not to sure what or why but I'd say maybe look out for opportunities on these days and also maybe external events.
Continuing with dates. In the last this 21 and January 21 came up. It came up again but with 2 messages. So first, either 21st is a day where something is put into motion (possibly private or public) or announced and the second was "add them together dumbass" that's not very kind but 3. Again this has been discussed too but but but... maybe a signal of a third mixtape 👀 (not necessarily on the 21st per say but possibly in March? I'm really not sure).
Oki. I got side tracked like I always do and started thinking about tattoos and stuff and I really want koo to have a peony tattoo. I feel it in my BONES. It would suit him so well. and as I was thinking about tattoos I heard, "don't be surprised if yoongi gets/shows a tattoo this year" ??? What the fuck? I think maybe they messing with me but now I have hopes and I don't want them to be crushed and thrown to the wind :(
Back to normal stuff, "the theme is growth" I think that fits very well with the reading. "Blue might be a lucky color" self explanatory. It might be lucky. "Start practicing grounding and centering" this was LOUD. This will help you in how you react to events in the future. Really do practice this if you haven't.
This is where it gets a little weird. So, I got a message that said "start living as if you never existed." I am not a 100% sure what this means but I think I have a pretty good guess. I hate to make it sound weird like this but by sort of focusing on something that is so hard to comprehend (because our brains can't comprehend not existing very well) you kinda break the 4th wall? Like in Deadpool when he addresses the audience and is aware that he is a character played by Ryan Reynolds? anyway, focusing on something that seemingly impossible you kind of accidentally open up the floodgates for a lot of other things. I would say if you are not in the right headspace to do this don't do it but it can be a powerful way to break up the monotony of reality. The theory that everything happens simultaneously bc time isn't a linear progression events blah blah we are energy blah blah the multiverse blah blah.. Theres so so so so so so so so so much about this and how it applies to things that I could probably write you 10+ dictionaries worth of material but for the sake of simplicity and not wanting to write a novel right now, I will continue. The main lesson is to start challenging your perception of the world around you. Ask why and why and why and why. Essentially seeing cracks in the matrix. Pulling your head out of your cosmic ass, realizing that rose you're smelling is actually daffodil ect. It's not supposed to bring you fear but just kinda encouraging you to question all the things that you perceive as given truths.
I tried to make that sound cohesive but really it's such a big concept that I can't really wrap it up all nice and neat.
Oki. May and March are also important times.
Listen to your intuition and try not to take everything so seriously. I'm not saying to check out and go squat in the Himalayas but it's important to find joy in the now. Life is already tough enough so don't forget to watch a silly show that you like or change your hair to a style you've never tried, wear makeup in a very loud way. Just have fun and don't worry so much about things that you can't control. Listen to yourself and your intuition.
Well that was all over the place. Let's get on to the actual tarot part now.
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For the record, the pictures are right to left.
January for the collective
We have the empress, the sun, 7 of swords and a fortune that says "act well your part; there the honor lies"
Hmm. Ngl I was a little confused to see the empress and the sun for January... I mean it hasn't been great. So I pulled clarity card 7 of swords. The 7 of swords is all about betrayal. It's about the deception and and actively getting away with things. This is people lying, cheating, sneaking and the works.
This makes much more sense!! The Sun card is usually about joy and success and happiness but in this case I see it as illuminating the betrayal. It's shining light on the deception and keeps the spotlight there. Its also an energetic card so I think that shows passion for uncovering the truth.
With the empress card too I think January is all about getting creative in all forms. Creative ways to protest, to mourn, to celebrate, to connect. Also taking in the abundance that we DO have. The beauty that surrounds us. I like to think of aphrodite energy for this. Its not just love and passion and creativity but is also asserting yourself and having strong passion for what you love and fighting for it. Did you know aphrodite was also called upon in ancient Greece in times of war? She was honored as a goddess of war but still a goddess of love, the sea, fertility ect. What I'm trying to say is that being a creative and "feminine" energy is in no way weak. Sometimes the most powerful things come from this energy. Love aggressively with good intentions. The point is that you should take whatever you're feeling and translate it into something creative or something you care about. The fact that covid is still a thing really sucks but take any rage, hurt, sadness, joy, love whatever and use that shit to make something amazing. Bake bread and punch the fuck out of it, paint your frustration, play hopscotch in higheels while you listen to heavy metal. You get the point.
Now January for BTS!!
We have the death card. (I only pulled one card bc I have things planned from this)
January has been... strange? To say the least.
This card can be a lot of things for them. I think this points to more maturity in their music? Like they've finally ditched the "shiny kpop boy band" label and are being taken seriously in the west. I also think that they're going through a musical/concept transformation~ I think it also signified the change in plans bc of the Grammys perhaps they had things planned an that fell through so they were forced to rapidly change plan/course.
For January: possible mixtape or announcement.
February for the collective
We have 8 of coins reverse and hanged man reverse.
The 8 of pentacles reverse talks a lot about self improvement. Doing that good good inner work and self care. Working on developing parts of you that you've maybe neglected. It's also learning how to work with how you are instead of wishing you weren't the way you are. If you have a therapist its a great time to maybe ask for any extra tips that you can practice daily to help you even more. Maybe exploring more into insecurities relating to finance or jobs or your passions. If you don't have a therapist but you have the means to get one I always highly recommend. You don't have to have "problems" to see a therapist. Everyone could use a non biased point of view that is literally trained to help you be you best self. If you can't get therapy, I get it. Shits tough rn but there's still things we can do to better ourselves like Journaling and reading therapy blogs or self help books (not the taky shit) or trying a hobby you fell out of touch with. There's also a lot of places where you can get therapy promise on the internet. Most importantly, better yourself in the way that you need. Take time in February to take notice of what you want to improve upon. The 8 of coins reversed does come with the warning not to get stuck in perfectionism. Go easy on yourself and if you find yourself getting frustrated when working on projects, try to take a step back and practice whatever it is in a fun way and then come back to it later
Hanged man reverse talks about knowing that you need to chill but you don't. You'll need too. Maybe you'll find yourself swept up in work and tasks and you're over whelmed and know you need to stop and catch your breath but you resist. Why? Well, perhaps you're trying to ignore reality by filling the empty spaces with things and stuff so you don't have to face what's bothering you. Not wise. Take time for yourself. There's also the flips side where people are just kinda stuck.. creative block. Maybe you want something to turn out one way and it just isn't, so your stuck and frustrated and can't move past it. Let go of your expectation of how it should be and let it be what it is. Go with the flow and maybe you'll see a new way to overcome your problem. You'll eventually get that break through that you need! The theme of February is about self improvement. Listen to yourself.
February for BTS
We have judgment.
Hehe yeah. This card is about rebirth and the inner calling. Letting go of the old to step into the new version of you. This is also a very spiritual card lol. This can talk about a new decision that you have to trust your gut on. This is a very significant card that screams comeback to me. It also can talk about sharing your struggles with a group of people and that to me sounds comeback ish. Maybe this will be an announcement in February, maybe they'll be working on it idk but this is ultimate comeback energy so I hope they utilize this for a big group project!!
February: possible BTS comeback (even my pendulum knows)
March for the collective
The chariot and justice
This plays directly off of February! With the chariot you're taking the self improvement that you've done and putting it to action! Now is the time to act on the dreams and passions that you have don't wait and hope for the best. March is about action and standing in your power.
Justice card is cause and effect and truth. What you do will have consequences good or bad. Not doing anything also has consequences. Cease the moment and make the best of it. You'll be taking responsibility for what you do. You start a business? Now you have the responsibility of running it and you get the credit. Stuff like that. Stand by your decisions with conviction and trust yourself.
There's also the side of justice that talks about bringing justice. If you've been wronged, you'll be brought justice if you stand up for yourself.
We also carry the continuous lesson of learning what we truly believe and challenge those beliefs!
March for BTS
Oki we have the hermit and the 6 of pentacles reverse.
Well... let's start with the 6 of pentacles reverse. This can really talk about being so generous and giving to everyone else that you forget about yourself. I think that maybe they might be over exerting themselves and giving so much that they're exhausted physically and emotionally as well. I think too, they take on so much of our pain like its their own? Idk but this would be a good time to do a large scale fan project to show them a little extra love!
With the hermit card it talks about a self introspection so they could be looking inward as a team and kinda evaluating their bond.
I also see this as maybe being alone as in they maybe can't physically go to the grammys? Or maybe they had been planning the rescheduled concerts and they had to be pushed back even further? Things like that. Regardless this signals re thinking/reevaluating the goals that they have and considering what direction to go in!
March: possible mixtape or solo project?
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April for the collective
We have 6 of coins and 3 of cups reverse.
Let's start with the 6 of coins. It's about sharing. It can be about charity so sharing money via donation but also giving time, effort, energy to people as well. Giving knowledge is good too! It's an all round exchange. Maybe someone lends you money or you lend money to someone. It's give and take. It's a two way street. It's also a card of balanced finance. So money stuff should be looking promising around this time (for you U.S people this could point to more stimulus help as well)
And for the 3 of cups reversed... I see this as reopening of places and people struggling to find the balance. So think people who've been in lockdown celebrating by throwing a big party... yikes. This card reminds that we should be mindful of the long-term consequences that come with our actions.. maybe also people that are experiencing fear of being in public places now. This is only one facet though. Bc I think this also means in general, missing being with friends and having a renewed relationship because you've really realized how important it is to have these people that mean so much to you in your life. Don't forget that you have people that love you and want the best for you. Call them when you feel alone.
April for BTS
The heirophant
Mhmm. This one kinda gives me vibes that they'll be mentoring people? Idk but I see them more as the heirophant teaching what they've learned/ know to help guide others. HOWEVER this could also be them taking a new task under their belt. Learning something new. Since this is as a group reading I assume that this talks about the group as a whole. This card is also very tradition oriented so maybe they are taking lessons that are connected to traditional Korean culture? Maybe its for RUN or maybe its to incorporate into music and preformance. Think bts mma preformance but all of them learning together? Idk, it's just a thought (maybe wishful thinking). It also talks about seeking counseling so maybe they'll do yoongis idea from the most recent RUN.
This can also be them embracing this kind of leadership/ status.
April: I got nothing. It does feel like something though
May for the collective
Five of cups and queen of cups reversed
Five of cups is disappointment, regret and self pity. Now honestly this to me looks like possibly a tightening of restrictions yet again. Regardless of the situation that this is talking about, the best thing you can do is not wallow in the bullshit. You scrape yourself off the pavement and move foward. You'll need forgiveness of yourself and others and that if shit isn't going your way, you need to pull your head out of your ass and look around bc there's options out there. It's like drowning in a kiddie pool. Just stand up, dude. The water is like 5 inches.
Queen of cups reversed talks about self love and self care. It's more of that look inwards energy. Think about really taking care of yourself. May might be emotionally draining so you need to be ready to take care of you! Part of self care is making sure that your boundaries are well enforced.
Be on the look out for codependent behaviors. Check in with yourself.
The queen of cups is very intuitive and having it in reverse can talk about you not taking enough time to listen to it. Make an effort to meditate for like 5 minutes a day at least. Do something to let yourself connect to your intuition and higher self.
May for BTS
9 of pentacles
This about enjoying the fruits of your labor and absolute abundance and luxury. This could talk about them rolling in the dough after signing a new partnership or having a concert or something if the sort. This could also be a time where we see them buying new things like houses, cars and rings (lol) but also this could be them doing a very high production value project! Also namjoon and his bonsai army are thriving in this time!
May: possible concert or scheduled concert event. Activity of some kind.
Yoongi interlude
I asked for one card to give me an idea of what the mystical May 13th really is. I got: the star, 2 of cups, 4 of wands, the world and the sun.
Guys. I can't with this. 2 of cups is a card of union, romance, soulmate. 4 of wands is celebration, joy, homecoming, bliss. The world is completion and the sun is happiness, joy, marriage, enlightenment.
I've said it a billion times but that's some soulmate shit. So soft so cute and May will be eventful for his personal life.
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June for the collective
Death and the heirophant reversed.
Wow wow wow death is transformation and a new chapter so a new way of life and something new/ different that changes how we see things. Again this could be relating to new covid things and new policies and stuff like that but also new as in new to all of us. Groundbreaking perhaps?
The heirophant reversed talks about teaching yourself. Being your own teacher and making your own path. This might be spiritual or otherwise. Challange what the world wants from you and instead listen to what you truly want bc you don't need anyone's approval. Continue to ask questions about why things are the way that they are.
June for BTS
Page of pentacles
Oki oki page of pentacles means a new creative venture and manifestation. Maybe something that they've been wanting for a while finally comes to fruition. This might be the start of a new project that they haven't done before or something cross genre? Idk but its a really good sign of being motivated for a new endeavor and manifesting any projects that they've ever wanted to do. Love this promising energy!!
June: idk
July for the collective
10 of swords and 9 of cups reversed.
10 of swords signals a painful ending. Also deceit. Its a necessary end to a long battle. The only thing you can do is control how you react in these situations. You just kinda gotta surrender into the pain and know that it's temporary. Take time to reflect on what happened and why and how it will help you grow.
The 9 of cups reversed talks about valuing stuff and material things over emotions and spiritual things. This can be talking about society in general, that we are becoming more aware to the fact that there is often more value placed on ephemeral items rather than humanity as a whole. This also can be talking about coming to the realization that we've been working so hard towards... something we don't really care about simply because we were told that it's what you do.
If you want something different to happen you have to put in effort. You can't be sitting in front of a water fountain being like, "damn. I'm thirsty. I really really want water so why isn't it in my mouth yet?" Like?? Hello? You have to take the first step, my dude.
Certainly don't try to do anything that would cost you finatial security or health.
You have the potential to find happiness within yourself. So try looking inside instead of looking outward.
July for BTS
4 of swords.
This is about rest and relaxation!
Taking time to meditate and take some time to look at what you've done objectively. Ots like the hermit in a way but much more focused on resting and relaxing so you can come back stronger and with better direction. Maybe they'll take a break for a couple days but I really see it as them reassessing options. Especially if July goes how I think it will. Maybe they'll film something like In The Soop again? Maybe we'll see bon voyage type thing? Idk. But it could be something kinda out of the spotlight? Maybe something more healing?
July: maybe something?? I'm not sure but it seems like something might be in store.
August for the collective
5 of coins and the wheel of fortune
Well let's see. 5 of pentacles talks about isolation and a negative mindset. This talks about falling on hard times but its a temporary set back. This energy can be talking about falling on hard times emotionally as well. In the card it shows a woman outside of a church shivering and cold but she's too busy thinking about all that she's lost that she doesn't notice the warm church that she could step into for shelter.
But then with he wheel of fortune that talks about fate/destiny, opportunity and luck so maybe this is a necessary loss so that a new door can open. This does kinda tie in with July as well. The end of something is painful but it's often a necessary thing. Might be a bit uncomfy but that's how things change. Again I see this maybe hinting more towards society but none the less it's definitely a theme for August to have doors closing and new ones opening so be on the lookout for that.
August for BTS
The devil.
Now don't fret. The devil talks a lot about choice. Most notably the choice between instant gratification and and something more substantial and the devil leans towards indulgence. It also has a lot to do with the shadow side. This could talk about ~scandal~ sure, but I think its more of a time where you become aware of negative patterns and you shine a light on that part you've ignored. On a much lighter note this card talks also about an incredible bond between people. It can be unhealthy if not given space or boundaries. Listen to pied piper and come back to me.
I also REALLY REALLY REALLY hope that this card points to this: sexuality. The boys have always been pretty pg when it comes to the topic of sex and embracing sexuality so I really do hope to see something more daring and grown up and exploring a tastefully sexy concept. On the same vain as sexuality this card also talks about kinks and stuff like that so don't be surprised if we get more outfits like fake love Era bondage harnesses.
August: ???
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September for the collective
We have the world and 10 of wands reversed.
The 10 of wands reversed talks about carrying burden. Doing extra work and taking on more responsibility. Doing everything by yourself and carrying this heavy load alone will get you burnt out quicker than anything. You might be taking on too much and you'll need to prioritize what you really need to focus on. I also think there will just be a lot happening in September for a lot of people. It's a lot of working hard because you know it's good work or because it's what's right. This could be social responsibility that's placed on you or work responsibility. For whatever reason this burden isn't something you want to share with others because you think its yours alone to deal with. It's not though bc you'll figure out eventually that if it hurts so much you'll find a way to lessen the burden. 10 in tarot is all about the completion of a cycle and going through the wands cycle is hard work because for anything to be made of passion, you need to put the work behind it. The burden isn't forever, the heavy work load will lighten but this is you seeing things out. It's a good thing!
Especially considering this is paired with with world. The world is all about completion and that's what you're doing here is finding completion. You are seeing things out until the end but you just need to learn to give up some responsibility, lessen your burden.
This also talks about hard work being put into wider social spheres as well. Things like the vaccines becoming more widespread through the whole globe or at least better planing and infrastructures not related to covid. Things are looking up!
September for BTS
Knight of swords reverse
This bad boi is restless energy. It's being so pent up that you're ready to burst and you really want to take action but you can't because something is keeping you from taking that action. Again I do think this is kinda covid related in regards to touring bc if they do tour in 2021 its gonna look a lot different. This energy can be a bit impulsive and directionless so I think maybe they'll channel this into album material something? I'm not really sure tbh. I'm suprised this energy didn't show up earlier because it almost seems inevitable.
September: no clue
October for the collective
Ten of coins and the star reverse.
Welp let's start with the 10 of coins. Its about wealth, financial security, and long term success so this is a pretty prosperous time. This talks about the obvious monetary wealth and material wealth but also an abundance of opportunities. So this is definitely a good time to enjoy whatever consistency you have. This energy is really really abundant in the career space as well. So October could be very prosperous in the job field and you'll have likely found what it is you really want and could be successful at. This could be the actual act or just the idea. This is could also talk about investing in something for your future, this could be time or money.
With the star reversed it can talk about a loss of faith and a disconnection. This often points to feeling like you've just been forgotten or left out. Like the universe doesn't give a shit about you and left you out to die. Things might seem unfair but always try to look for the lesson that you can take from the experience. Seeing the 10 of coins and the star makes me think that a lot of people have kinda lost faith in their manifestations and also just in the concept of not living in a state of need. Especially if you see other people doing well and you've been trying so fucking hard but you haven't gotten a break. I know we hate to hear it but this can serve as a test of faith. Or rather an opportunity to get your shit in line and take a second to breath. Do something good for yourself and then continue on. This star in reverse serves to show you what no longer sparks joy and helps you find what does and what that initial spark was in the first place. Helps you get back to the original vision/ spark.
October for BTS
5 of pentacles reverse.
This signals the end of difficult times and getting that groove back. The last month was restless energy with no where to go but this month that energy is certainly put to good use. They might be figuring out what has been missing In their lives and starting to rectify that. They are definitely reminded that material wealth doesn't bring spiritual or emotional wealth. Might be also feeling a bit alienated too.
October: something is likely but idk
November for collective
Six of swords reversed and the moon.
Transition and change is prevalent. The 6 of swords is about leaving behind the familiar. Maune this is leaving a job, a new change in the status quo, leaving a relationship ect. The thing you have to keep in mind is just how amazing this is in terms of what it will do. It will alow growth!! And bring clarity!! Thos can also be societal as well, something being left behind in favor of something new. It's letting go and reflecting so that you can move foward.
This is strengthened by the moon card. The moon card is the subconscious and all the things that come with it. The anxiety, the illusion, the uncertainty. You'll want to deal with whatever emotions come up. The moon can signify a confusing time where things aren't what they seem to be. That's the illusions so you'll have rely more on intuition at a time like this. Your dreams might hold significance in this time as well. Listen to your guides and your own guidance because it will help you understand more than you did before this journey began. Using moon cycles to your advantage in November might really help you!!
November for BTS
7 of wands
Challenge and competition. People are envious of bts. We know this. But people will be challenging them for what they've gained: music industry domination. This might co.e in the way that people will spread vicious rumors in attempt to disenfanchise or possibly it will be a fair fight. It could also be a challenge/ battle for some other aspect that involves legal matters.
My best guess though is good old competition. Bts has proven again and again that they will continue to do what they do how they do but they will not be trampled over. In the best way this could renew some of that spirit in friendly competition. They will tear eachothers throats out for a pack of ramen so maybe a bit of competition will be good for them. It keeps life intresting.
November: nothin
December for the collective
Two of cups and the emperor!
Let's start off with the emperor card talks about stability and order. It can also signify being the "breadwinner" so its a good sign that you'll kinda be on top of your shit. The emperor is also an amazing leader so you might find yourself taking on a leadership role too! This is very organized energy that works very smoothly!
two of cups is such a lovely way to end out the year! It's love and partnership and attraction so if you aren't in a relationship by this time you might meet someone who strikes your fancy!! On a none romantic relationship note though, this card is also great for business partnership bc it signifies that you're on the same page and have the same goals in mind!
It's harmonious relationships and trust between them!! Love love love this energy so much! Cups are the suit of emotions and this card is so promising.
If you are in a relationship, this can talk about "falling in love all over again" like you're just reminded of how good they are.
December for BTS
Queen of cups
Intuition, creativity and emotional stability. They're using intuition to guide their moves foward with emotional maturity. They are in a place of knowing what they want and why. This would be a good time to work on an album or a book or to release them. The queen of cups is like the friend that you can tell absolutely anything and somehow they have a helpful answer. This card is really calm and it can also talk about subconscious thoughts.
I think that bts is maybe making more of a conscious effort to make sure that what they do is just as emotionally fulfilling for them as it is for us! They might be kinda pondering the future at this time and considering if this is what fills their emotional cup!
December: possibly a thing?
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Now these cards are the vibe of the year and some advice.
For the collective (on the left)
Three of swords and judgment reverse.
The fortune says "accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory"
The 3 of swords is about disappointment and hurt and heartbreak. It's about the emotional release that we all need when shit gets tough. Don't pretend to be strong. If you need to cry, fucking cry. This year is about letting go of expectations and do what you have to do to release so you can move foward and not have these things pile up.
You have to make an effort to not let yourself take on what other people think of you. You aren't defined by what some asshole says. You define yourself.
Judgment reverse is about self doubt and ignoring your path. It's being stagnant and being harsh on yourself. This year has a focus on building yourself up and noticing when you are not. Bring light to the things that are holding you back without harsh judgment for yourself. You can't beat yourself up. If you make a bad decision you know not to make it again. Take accountability and move on.
The oracle card is inner temple.
Seriously all the focus of this year is in self improvement and dear god, please take time to work on yourself spiritually!!! Everything you want to know is there if you take the time to listen. This should be a place where you feel safe and welcome. It definitely should not feel like something you HAVE to do.
For BTS
10 of swords and page of swords
The fortune says "you create your own stage. The audience is waiting" (how tje fuck?? This is the perfect fortune)
The 10 of swords is a painful but necessary end. This is accepting the current situation. They maintain focus for 2021 for them is adapting and keeping their spirits up.
With the page of swords it talks about new ideas and that kind of creativity. It's also a lot about communication so I really think that they'll be figuring out new ways to connect and new projects that will be prosperous.
The oracle card is Pleiades
This is what we talk about all the time. Bts has helped so many people want to be better and do better. They are uplifting humanity and giving people a sense if belonging. Bts finds you when you need them most 💜💜💜
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Wow I had to write this up over 2 days bc this was so fucking long. I need a nap. Idk if I'll proof read this before I post it so don't hate me for the mistakes (honestly, there's like 10,000 spelling and grammar mistakes in my other posts too 🙃)
I hope you guys enjoyed it and maybe this will be helpful to to have a forecast of some possible energy for you to look out for!!
Also bts bc I love them. I have another bts 2021 reading I'll do soon too!
Hope you guys are happy and well 💜
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luvlyrv · 3 years
Text
Our Songs | Extra | Wendy x F!Reader SM!AU
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Word Count: 1.4k
A/N: So happy to say this series is completely finished now!! Enjoy!! I'm moving onto more projects and hopefully can wrap up some one shots I've been working on. This is a different style from what I usually do since it is an extra, warning that the post looks really long because it's in bulleted style lol
Date: 9/1/21
Series Masterlist
after your confession with wendy you were stuck with an enormous burst of energy
you were on cloud nine, a seemingly never-ending high
you decided not to text wendy the day right after
you didn't want her to think you regretted anything but you also didn't want to seem too clingy
also it didn't help that just thinking about her was enough to throw you into cardiac arrest
you didn't receive any notifications from wendy either
it was a bit disappointing, but you assumed she was also trying to take in the shock of it all
trying to take your mind off of wendy you spend an entire day running around your house
you pick up your instruments and have the jam of your life
emotional highs are very good for your creativity it seems
you decide to record some things and save some drafts
who knows if it'll be useful in the future?
you worked till you felt dead tired and like you couldn't have another thought in your brain
even after you spent an entire day trying to exert your nervous and elated energy you were still hesitating on texting wendy when you woke up
but you missed her so much already
so you send a text asking her how she feels
she says she feels okay, and then asks about you
'yeah, i'm okay too'
your conversation was rocky
things weren't going as smooth as before
and it was evident that it was because the both of you had no idea how to behave
you took a deep breath before texting her your question
'so, can i take you on that first date?'
you see a bubble showing that she was texting
and then it disappeared
before showing up again
and disappearing
and- ugh! your heart was racing waiting for her answer
i mean, she liked you back right? so why would she say no?
'yeah, of course! :)'
whew, okay, looked like you almost made a big deal out of nothing
little did you know wendy was freaking out
she was a bit embarrassed at herself, acting as if she was a high school kid in love or something
it took wayyy too much concentration for her to type out something sensible
but she was excited for you to finally ask
you were also excited for her to say yes
your first date is at the downtown center
there was a festival and you were hoping to enjoy all the effort the artisans put into their work with wendy
you're walking with her through the numerous stalls set up
as the both of you admire the beautiful crafts set on display your hand reaches for hers
you feel the pressure of her hand squeezing back and you look at her
she looks at you and giggles
you didn't even realize what you were doing
'oh, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to do that suddenly.' you freak out and let go of her hand
you're worried that she was laughing at you and that she didn't want to hold hands
'it's okay! i thought it was cute'
she reaches out for you and you don't let go this time
instead you enjoy how happy she seems to be sharing this moment with you
and out in public too
later on you both go to the square where there were musicians
the sun was beginning to set, allowing for beautiful lighting and you appreciated songs you've never listened to before
wendy tugs at your arm while still staring at the performers
'i hope we can perform up there someday. together.'
you smile at her as she still looks on
'i think we will.' you assure her
finally night hits and you both call it a day
you walk her to her car and stop her
you kiss her forehead
'so, will there be a second?' you ask with a smile
you feel like you already know the answer
'i think that sounds great.'
life with wendy in it became easy
you guys seldom fought
and even when you did at least one of you would make something for the other
dropping it off at the doorstep and leaving an apology note
and after enough time of cooling down you would always come back to each other, talking out your problems from before
you personally felt like your work improved as well
wendy had become your muse
you sought to create tracks that would impress her
or that would be worthy of having her voice in it
and you felt like it was easier to write lyrics
because every experience with wendy created new feelings
feelings that you could hardly describe sometimes
when you guys decided to finally start working on your second collaboration you busted out the drafts you created long ago
wendy was impressed after sitting down and listening to your drafts
'woah, how many hidden gems do you have on your computer?'
'well, these ones in particular i made on the same day. the day after i confessed to you.'
you're both flustered
because it's easy to tell the kind of state you were in by the songs
wendy takes your hand and kisses it gently as your music continued to play
'you must think of me pretty highly, if the thought of me compelled you to make something so incredible'
you heat up at her cheesiness
'oh stop it.'
the two of you end up choosing a refreshing feeling/sound for the album
'cause you recharge me every time i see you!' she says
when you guys are almost done producing the album, that was when you went on the dinner date with wendy
the one where you guys would finally confess to the world
after recording and uploading the announcement video the both of you decided to turn off your notifications and avoid reading people's reactions
instead you guys opted to spend the rest of the day baking and then watching a movie together
the both of you decided that it would be stressful to engage with your audience right away, and that's why it took a full day for you both to check your phones again
both seulgi and yeri already knew about your relationship but they both flooded you guys with congratulations anyways
they just wanted you to know they were proud of your bravery!
besides them, both of your families already knew and didn't comment much
they'd already stated how they think you're good for each other when you guys had visited together
especially your younger cousin
cause apparently she's a big fan of wendy and is definitely not using you as a way to get close to her idol
and is definitely not bragging about her how cousin is 'super super cool and famous and is dating another famous person and i think they'll be rich someday!!! so get on my nice side!'
you're happy to see that a lot of fans are happy for your relationship
wendy just keeps telling you 'of course they are, who wouldn't for a cute ass couple like us?'
it was at that point that you guys had decided to save up and move into a nice place together
you guys had talked about future plans before
not only that, but you had been practically living together already
between all the dates that lead to seemingly indefinite sleepovers
and the recent collaboration that made you guys be stuck together
it was really you guys living at each other's place weeks at a time
when you guys move in you're grateful
because you get to experience all the little things from her even more
some nights when you're stressed she rubs circles on your back to help you sleep
when you guys shower together she takes her time to carefully wash your hair
it was those deeply intimate moments that made you the happiest
both of your careers were doing really well due to the reception of your second collab and all the media fuss that happened with your dating annoucement
you both still have solo careers and interact with other musicians
but along with moving in, you guys decided to become a duo and consistently create music together
in the morning when you share breakfast you always remind her how good life is and how thankful you are
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