#also this makes me wanna go walk on the beach....i miss being able to Go places
oh the vibe I get from u is like soft pinks!!!! cotton candy at the fair!!!! finding a heart shaped shell at the beach!!!!! the lil fond feeling of when a pal ties ur shoe for u!!!!! snuggly stuffed animals!!!
i LOVE u sm did u know....i am currently snuggling a stuffed animal wow
tell me what kind of vibe/energy you get from me
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my journaling from the beach:
BLah blah. I'm typing this on the roof/balcony of our airbnb in cholla bay. I wish I could go to sleep, I was so tired all day, but my brain is unhappy and wound up in a way that I know would not equal success at falling asleep. especially next to brian. blah blah. i suppose its not surprising that like all of today was just immediately pretending everything was fine between us and not acknowleding that anything had happened. and the frustrating part is that like I don't have any drive or incentive to bring it up anyways because there is no space of valuable procssing for us. the only thing to discuss is how to incorporate teh understanding that (once again, but more firmly this time) nothing will ever work between us, this will keep happening and probably getting worse, It turns out even after that debacle I still like and want to be affectionate iwth brian and it makes me feel sad and lonely to consider breaking off what we've had going on, but also we're lucky enough we've gotten this far without hating each other and maybe we shouldn't press our luck. I don't know, I don't know what the right thing to do is now but that's what's ahead of us to figure out (ending things, how, when?) and I don't want to do that when he's sitll here for a few more days. so I want to be able to I guess "have fun" but it's also hard and feels bad we have to just ignore shit to not have it be horrible.
I lost a lot of trust in brian last night. I knew // was (re?) learning that he has the emotional maturity of a ten year old if that, but it just felt more pointed and personal last night.
he brought up with me sleeping with nick in a snide way, and that struck a nerve and triggered bad feelings in me. yes i was drunk. I wasn't actually mad at brian for that I just wanted to cry a little and procss that that actually was a bad memory. brian does know that it wasn't something that I feel good about and that I had some difficult/ hurt feelings about nick after that incident coupled with others. but i wasn't in that moment mad at his insensitivity I just wanted to step away and have feelings. which seemed fine at first, he came out and was affectionate. but i guess when that didn't fix things right away he couldn't handle it. he said "i feel weird" and got out of bed and then literally threatened to leave the next day. I don't think I can forgive him for that ever. it also just seems so bizarre in the universe when what i've been talking about in therapy is literally like emotional trauma stemming from fearing my mother we going ot leave me (and her in fact leaving my bed) because of me crying. I also had literally iterated to brian multiple times that it wasn't about him, i wasn't mad at him, but apparently what wigged him out so much was a feeling that i was mad at him. but this is what i've already been noticing in brian, he just does not have that ability whatsoever to understand that his emotions/ anxieties/ insecurities are not a blanket excuse for shitty behavior and he needs to be able to take some ownership.
and so the irony is not lost on me tonight that he started having intense, difficult to articulate anxiety / emotions. despite being occasionally affectionate with me (as I also was with him last night) he was also distant, quiet, regularly not looking at or speaking ot me and like standing/walking separately..... he also expressed that his anxiety was related to how much money he is spending on this trip, which also does kinda sting cause it feels like his anxiety is like, that he came to see me, which makes me feel bad and kinda upset, but I wouldn't in one million years I think even if I was very drunk think of yelling at and berating him the same way, being like "well did you ever stop to think maybe i feel like youre mad at me // or blablabla" when I know he's having hard emotions and such. of course i didn't threaten to leave. though I did, I admit and I dind't like feeling this way either, feel quite petty and like "oh ok so you're allowe to have like your own hard emotoinal experience near me but I'm not" or whatever. I wante dot passive aggressively be like, ok well I can't tell if youre mad at me so I'm going to leave tomorrow bye" or whatever. but, I didn't, I sucked it up and although I think I would have been a better suppor had I not been feeling that way I still tried, took us on a walk, hugged him, etc. I dunno bla. not to e all, "regreT" by fiona apple.
I want to tell him I've lost trust in him in an irreparable way, that wasn't just another drunk argument we can forget about and move on from. thsi is the signal that it's time to find a way out of this, I don't htink I can ever be emotionally supported or safe with him in the way I would need, even though I know we aren't saying tghis is a "relationship" or whatever it isn't isn't, "casual." I don't know what would happen to our friendship. I also, even as I write this, wonder if I will actually end this or extricate myself. I'm definitely going to tell him the harm was real from that fight, but maybe after he leaves, I don't know. it'd hard becuase I feel like reopening this conversation would just make the rest of hte trip awful and hard and not even like, in a productive way which is the thing with him is that processing is never processing, it never gets us anywhere at all unless its deeper in a hole of shit. some things I can decide to just move on from and forget even though I still feel that twinge of unresolved anger.... this is bigger than that. um, so yeah, I guess if he wants to keep pretending things are fine with us I'll just go along with it and have as much fun as we can until he leaves and we can safetly idk email or wahtever from a distance. I mean, I won't lie. I also, unfortunately...? still really like touching him, and am attracted to him. this morning I really wanted to have sex with him and like, I felt that maybe it would be fucked up to go towards that after the night we had without acknowledging it, but then was glad he intiated that. I mean.. I think the sex was mutually initiated but, initiated the, being touchy. that was me having his imaginary voice in my head arguing with me about him having initiated it. bla. i wonder if his affected today has just been coming from that fear-of-losing-me place or if he just things that what happened last night was kinda run of the mill for us.. I mean I don't htink he would be surprised if I said it wasn't but yea.
oh but what I was saying, I dont know, it also just feels sooooo lonely and sad, the prospet of going back from like having a constant preson that I love to talk to to not having anything even close to that, especially when life is also already lonely and such. both for like having the constant like, validation, and like, "company" even thought virtual.. like no tjust living alne with my thoughts all day evey day.. but I'm worried right now I'm just going to fall back into the "good" parts of this and not have it in me to break away. and i guess my fear then is something similar or worse will just happen agian that will actually result in us hating each other // me not wanting to talk to him or see him again, etc. I think we could get away without that now, but I don't know. I mean I think we could definitely get out of this without hatred but could we transition back into a friendship where we actually talk and are in each others lives? at least in the near future (not like years down the road)? I dont know.....
I wonder if brian will ever really heal or understand even waht the problem is here. I understand that maybe some percentage of this is like us just having different emotoinal realities and struggles and such but I feel really firm in that what I'm expecting is vey reasonable, not just like me personally but of anyone who is suppsoe to care abotu and be in relationship with another person. I miss having it, I fucking miss dating someone who like hard hard hard things came up, but we understand and respected each otehrs needs and ways of communicating and working through stuff together actually gets you somewhere. i didnt have that with semra either. but semra was emotionally abusive. wolford and I really had that. I mean like sophie and I do in terms of our friendship. yea. is it more rare than I realize? I mean, I guess also I think lore and I have that, though I sometimes and like nervous ot bring up issues I have with her. when I do she listens and we hear each other and we are in a better place afterwards for it. I do think I have that model of like communication and how conflict and be like a good/ supportive thing in a relationships that helps it deepen and grow. mabye brian hasn't like had that modeled, idk, it just seems like he deeply cant' handle hard emotions, from me maybe in particular i dunno, cause he can't see past how they make him feel threatened or insecure or whatever. and then this thing about like " I don't wanna rehash that" when its like we never even really talked about it or figured anything out. we can nevre figure anything out. maybe were just different and he finds me so very "hard to read" and he can "read" other people more easily and thus feels less uncertain and insecure. maybe. but then yea so why are we together.
anyways I think I've written eveything I wanted to and I feel less like crying, still very unclear on if I feel like sleep is an option for me anytime soon. I sorta wish we hadn't had to switch to the one-room airbnb, I would like to go inside and read on a couch until I can crawl in bed it feels that would be distracting to him or like just not as easy as at the other place. sure am glad I don't like in a studio apartment with another person lol.
but, I also have to pee... thought here are bathrooms on thsi patio.. and the wind is picking up so I'll go inside, I really think it would be great to get good sleep tonight but alas
the atlantic | bucky barnes
pairing: bucky barnes x fem/reader
word count: 7919
warnings/content: nsfw, 18+, minors dni - smut (soft), pegging (mention), oral (f receiving), dirty talk, semi-realistic sex, insane fluff, brief angst. this is less straight porn, more so a ton of plot and then some sweet, awkward sex. could there be more porn from this pair later? only time will tell
a/n: for poppy <3. i love you. i feel like since time passed i didn't fulfill this request quite correctly but such is the game when you're still learning how to write porn
original request from @burnthematches: "i actually wanted to request a smutty piece, but kinda like an intimate one? cause most of the smutty fics out here seem very... idk, out of character?? kinda treat bucky like an object? IDK!!!!! . . . okay night changes just came on and i'm thinking about this post-date scenario and it's the first time bucky and reader go all the way (naughty stuff might have happened a few times during movie nights) and it's just romantic and raw and real. insecurities, awkward laughs and goofy smiles. the real shit.
“Hello, Bucky Barnes!” you tease, running out your front door.
He’s told you that your silly nature reminds him of how the girls used to act in the forties, when every woman with a good head on her shoulders knew that the best use of their time around soldiers should be spent raising morale.
“I don’t even wanna know, James,” you joked, noting the innuendo of the phrase.
He just shook his head. “Now you know that’s not what I meant.”
“I know, I know-”
“You’re more sincere than they were. It’s your personality, not your guilt over watching a boy go off to war.”
That silenced you.
You two are an odd juxtaposition - you, an excitable modern woman, and him, a grumpy hundred-and-six-year-old.
“Did you even remember to lock the door?” Bucky asks, his tone sour but his face delighted at the sight of you.
Giggling, you keep pacing forward and embrace him. Bucky knocks himself off balance, as if you could possibly push him back with any kind of head start. “I will, I promise, I was just so excited to see you.”
Bucky’s flesh hand comes up to cradle your head, and he groans in faux-disappointment. “This date won’t be very fun if it ends with me kicking some lowlife out of your apartment, kid.” His hand slides to your shoulder, gently pushing you back up the walk. “Lock that shit so we can get going,” he says, but his voice is too light for the vernacular to throw you off.
The skirt of your dress flips up around you as you spin on your heel, running back up the pavement to hurriedly stick your key in the deadbolt. “Done! Let’s go!” you yell, bolting back to Bucky and sinking your hand in his right one.
He laughs, an occurrence that’s becoming more common with each date you two find yourselves on. Pressing a kiss to the top of your head, he pulls you forward, heading to the diner that you’re becoming regulars of.
“You wanna get milkshakes this time? It’s getting hotter nowadays,” you comment, filling the stale southern air with small talk.
Bucky nods, half of his mouth turning up. “A cold milkshake does sound good.”
You hum, a smile still stuck on your face from the second you saw Bucky walking towards your duplex. “We could split one, like in the movies.”
“I can afford two, kid,” Bucky scoffs. You elbow him, knowing he’s just teasing. “Ow,” he deadpans.
“It’s romantic,” you tell him.
“It’s spit-swapping. And there’s easier ways to do that if that’s what you’re looking for.”
He howls again, the sound stretching your grin even further. Bucky stops your walking, turning to face you. Your lips connect in the middle of the sidewalk, both of you chuckling into one another. You break away, your own laugh growing boisterous and loud, sending your joy into the gray-blue sky.
“See? That doesn’t cost a dime, baby,” Bucky murmurs into your neck, pressing overly-wet kisses into the skin there as a way of messing with you. Suddenly, he blows a raspberry there, and you can’t help but lose yourself in your giggles.
“You’re a mess!”
“Yeah he is!” You look across the street to see one of your neighbors walking her dog, waving at you two with a smile. Bucky stops then, raising himself away from you and putting his metal hand up in an apologetic wave.
You shake your head, grabbing his arm and pulling him along. “One milkshake, and you can pick the flavor, Buck.”
“I like chocolate, personally.”
“Funny. I’m a peanut butter fan.”
He looks at you, eyebrows furrowing as he pretends to be upset. “You just said I could pick!”
“That was code for ‘pick my favorite flavor and impress me,’” you tell him.
Your hand slides up to his bicep as he raises his right arm over his heart. “Oh, my bad. Completely missed the seminar on my girl’s oddly specific dating cues.”
You giggle again, leaning further into him. The diner comes into view, a little hole in the wall that sits right on the beach. “God, that smells amazing,” you whisper.
Bucky makes a noise of agreement. “Patio or inside?” he asks you as your feet bring you closer to the entrance.
“Patio tonight?” you ask.
Bucky beams, nodding his head. “Sounds good to me. But if the wind picks up and gets sand in this arm, I’m not going to let you hear the end of it.” He shifts the vibranium on his left side around, the whirring of it getting slightly louder.
The hostess at the door greets the two of you. “Good evening! Patio or indoors for you two?”
Bucky turns his grin to her, all white teeth and old school charm. “Patio,” his eyes flash to her nametag, “Jess. Thanks.”
Jess returns the expression, handing you two menus. “It’s a good night for it! Sit at any table, someone will be with y’all soon.”
Nodding to her, you practically drag Bucky towards the picnic table closest to the actual beach. “Flirt much?” you ask, though you aren’t actually mad.
“You gotta be polite to your hostess, sweetheart. My ma would crawl out of the ground and give me a beating if I didn’t, God rest her soul.”
You roll your eyes, grabbing a menu from him. “Wouldn’t be the craziest thing to ever happen,” you sigh.
“I have wonderful news,” Bucky tells you as he reads the menu.
“Well, share with the class.”
“They have peanut butter fudge milkshakes here.”
You flip over the menu in your hands, glancing at the beverages and desserts. “Well, would you look at that? Kismet.”
Bucky’s eyebrows raise. “Nice word.”
You hum. “Meh. It’s only twelve points in Scrabble.”
Your boyfriend opens his mouth to respond but gets cut off by your waitress approaching. “Evenin’, you two. Usuals or something new tonight?”
You glance over to Bucky, and he gives you a short nod. “Usuals, please, Lynn. But can you add a-” you read the name again, “A ‘Sand and Shell Shake’ please? Two straws. Instead of drinks.”
Lynn nods, writing it down. “Should be about fifteen, twenty minutes. I’ll be right back with that shake for you two.” She smiles as she leaves, and you watch, enraptured, as she says something in passing to another waiter - Harry - that makes him smile, too. You can’t hear their words, but you can they echo around in your head as if you could.
“We should ask Ronnie to make us a shake to go tonight.”
“Split it with me?”
“Maybe they’ll share a shake,” you comment, a little breathless and caught up in the short moment between them. You’re not even entirely aware that you’re speaking on the surge of thoughts.
Your eyes find Bucky again. “Yeah, yeah, sorry.”
Bucky’s eyes twinkle, and you feel his boot gently rub along your calf in a soothing manner. “Alright, kid. You just seemed dazed for a second there.”
“I just like people, you know? Watching them.”
“Steve used to say stuff like that. He liked committing scenes on the street to memory, drawing them later. It was pretty intense.” You watch him as the lines around his eyes smooth out and replace themselves along his forehead and in his frown. “I never got it until recently. Life was very fast for me until I had a century to look back on. But I like just watching it happen now, like you two do - did.”
You reach across the table, your warm palm folding over gilded metal. “I understand,” you say simply.
You’re a very honest person, and it pays off in moments like this one. The phrase is simple but the sincerity behind it can soothe the burns of decades, made clear in the way Bucky’s shoulders untense and the folds of his skin reappear around his lips.
The moment breaks as Lynn drops off your milkshake and two straws. “Be back shortly with your meal.”
The wait staff is busier tonight than they have been in the past few months. You and Bucky watch in silence as they bustle around, serving a fuller house than usual.
“Starting to fill up nowadays, huh?” Bucky asks.
“Always does,” you confirm. “Once it hits May I tend to only stop by when I really crave a dish. Tourist season is always crazy.”
“Must be nice to come back once fall hits.”
“It is, always is. I also like just watching it fill up during the summer, and seeing all the snowbirds and college kids complain about not being able to come all the time.”
Bucky chuckles, the sound a sweet harmony to the melody of squawking sea birds turning in for the night. “That sounds so mean of you,” he says.
You shrug, smirking. “I get bitter that I can’t spend every night at my favorite beachside joint, you know? Especially during the best time of the year, when all you want is a cold Coke and a good as fuck burger.”
Bucky laughs so hard that he snorts, and you join right back in. “I’m never going to get you to leave this place behind, huh?” he asks. You can hear the joke in his voice, but it’s laced with an edge of seriousness. Breaching the waters of a life where Bucky doesn’t drive or fly hours to see you.
You play along, trying to tell him it’s a safe conversation to have. “You can have me in the summers. Reverse Persephone. I’m sure this place will have a big boom in business without their local guard dog to leer at seasonal travelers. Although,” you tilt your head, lips pursing, “off season is also hurricane season. Would hate to come back during some bad storm."
Bucky scoffs. “You know they name at least one after a hero, now? Like an Avenger? It’s weird.”
Topic change, then.
“I don’t know. You remind me of hurricanes.”
Bucky doesn’t meet your eyes, and instead grabs a straw. “This milkshake better be damn good to make me forgo a beer.”
“What the hell do you even drink beer for? You stay sober!”
“The taste, obviously,” Bucky mutters around his straw. “Not bad. Could stand more chocolate.”
You grab the other straw, ripping it open and sticking it down into the thick liquid. You take a sip, and then smack your lips together mockingly. “Not bad,” you quote, voice as deep as you can make it. “Could use more peanut butter.”
“Jesus Christ,” Bucky sighs. “Some romantic you are, making fun of me like that.”
And just like always, the chortle that escapes you is effortless and involuntary, wrapping the two of you in a bubble of comfort.
Afterwards, when dinner’s been paid for and the entire shake drained, the two of you walk along the beach as the last daylight fades from the sky.
“It’s so serene out here this time of year,” Bucky comments. “Before all the summer crowds show up. Reminds me of trips with my parents and sister.”
“Oh, to live in a world sans modern commercialism,” you joke.
“Yeah, you know beaches used to have, like, grass, right? Not high-rises.”
“Yes, grandpa. Some still do.”
His hand squeezes your own. “Watch it, kid.”
You swing yourself around in front of him, and lift yourself up to kiss him squarely on the lips. It catches Bucky off guard but he still reacts quickly, both hands rising to cup your cheeks. Heated skin on one side, cool, whirring metal on the other.
“A mess,” he whispers right against you, letting you swallow the words right into your heart. He pecks your lips once, and you open your eyes to look straight into Bucky’s. Both of his hands tuck your hair behind your ears, cupping his hands again as he kisses the top of your head.
“My mess, and I love you,” he whispers, and then the sounds of the crashing waves are all that fills the air around you two.
These are the kinds of moments you dreamed of growing up, walking along this very beach. You knew there had to be people out in the world experiencing them in the same seconds they occurred to you, loving and breaking up, and splitting their own worlds in half with the intensity of intimacy just like this.
“I love you, James Buchanan,” you whisper back, your arms moving upwards to wrap around him as much as you can manage.
It isn’t the first time you’ve said it, but it riles him up like it always does, and he pulls you right back into heated making out. His metal hand finds itself melting into your hip while his flesh stays planted to your head - the mix of delicacy and hot almost, maybe could send you to your knees.
It does send you downward after a second, and Bucky follows you down to the sand. Your butt hits the soft grains just before his knees do, but your lips never break from each other. More sturdy on the ground, Bucky’s tongue presses incessantly at the entrance to your mouth, and you feel your blood rush everywhere - to your head, your face, the apex between your legs.
As Bucky lowers you even further into the sand, you can’t help the airy moan that shoots into his mouth where you meet. That stops him though, the hand on your head moving to the space right beside it, balancing his weight. His eyes meet yours as you both pant and gasp for breath.
Moving your own hands to mess with a stray thread at the base of his crewneck, you maintain eye contact as you mumble, “Back to mine?”
Bucky drops his head into the crook of your neck, the movement an intimate parallel to your teasing earlier in the evening. “Yeah, baby, back to yours. Just a second-”
“Let me know if you need a life alert one of these days. I can’t imagine how hard this just was on your knees-”
“Shut up,” he mumbles, pressing his lips back into yours to ensure you follow orders.
He stands up just a second later, and just looks at you for a moment before offering his hand. You feel yourself grow self conscious about how you must look spread out on the sand; hair splayed out and tangled amongst the dirt and buried shells; dress revealing more of your thighs than it’s meant to, bunched around your hips; a little bit of perspiration where your neck meets your shoulders, and chest heaving as you continue to gasp for new air in your system.
Though all your body is really aching for is Bucky Bucky Bucky Bucky Bucky-
You grab his hand, letting him easily pull you away from the sand and up into him. Up into him most definitely, as your feet barely find purchase before he continues pulling you up until you’re being held by him more than anything. You wrap your legs around his waist as he connects your mouths again, tongue already snaking back between your lips.
Your hips rub across the growing bulge between his own as you try to stay upright in his arms, and he groans into your mouth before promptly dropping you. “Back to yours, then,” he says, acting as if he doesn’t already look debauched with his swollen lips and hard-on.
“Right,” you say, leading the way.
Bucky grabs your hand again as your feet slip around in the sand dunes closer to the road. “Thanks,” you say, the contact lighting you on fire in a way it didn’t when he picked you up.
“We could watch a movie back at my place,” you suggest as your sandals hit flat concrete again. You wave to Jess as you walk by, watching as everyone begins locking up.
“Y’all have a good night!” she smiles, even as tired as she looks from a night of work.
“Thanks, you too,” Bucky replies to her. Then to you, “We can watch a movie. You can pick.”
You know you’re purposely dancing around each other now, and that if you don’t stop then you’re not going to go any further than you had in the sand.
You can tell it always makes him nervous; you’ve watched him suddenly become conscious of the extra strength in his cells, and the lack of flesh on one side of him. You’ve felt the air around you go colder than the vibranium as he pushes himself off and away from you after a heated make out session, and heard his soft apologies get drowned out by the white noise of an action flick that you watch bounce off the black metal of Bucky’s left arm.
Surely he knows that by suggesting a movie night, you’re vying for more action like you’d gotten up to on the beach.
The walk goes quicker than it did on the way to the restaurant, neither of you lolly-gagging or cutting up anymore. Bucky’s hand remains firm in yours, growing a little sweaty as time goes on.
“Is it weird to not sweat anywhere on your left arm?” you blurt, trying to ease your own nerves.
Bucky reels, obviously having been lost in his own head. “Uh. . . not any weirder than just having a metal arm in the first place.”
You cringe, instantly flashed back to the headspace you were in when Bucky took you out for the first time. Stiff, awkward. . . like you don’t know how to woo the stoic at your side. But his hand stays put in yours, fingers laced with love as Bucky squeezes your palm like he had earlier.
“Does she know it’s alr-”
“Did I lock my door earlier? Do you remember, oh my god-”
Bucky laughs at you this time, instead of with you. “Yes, you did. Because I had to make you, sweetheart. Though maybe I should take this as a compliment.”
“Why a compliment?”
He looks over at you, smirking. “Oh, you know, you’re just so wrapped up in me and all that you couldn’t even remember if you locked your door-”
“Shut up!” With a slap at his arm, the earlier energy is restored.
“That didn’t hurt you.”
“It hurt my heart!”
The duplex you live in comes into view. You drop Bucky’s hand to run up to the door, rummaging through your purse for your keys.
“Damn, doll, the television isn’t going to run off from you,” Bucky teases.
The key slides into the deadbolt, turning in time with your body as you flip him off.
Coming back to your unit with Bucky always feels better than coming back alone. Reminds you of being a child, watching your parents come in after a date night. Silent, maybe a whispered jest or an offhand remark as someone hangs up their coat, and the other sorts the mail, and then someone notices you peeking out from around the corner.
“Want something to drink?” you ask, setting your keys down on the table by the door.
“I told you, I like the taste.” He shrugs.
“Piss water. Usually cheap piss water.” Nonetheless, you grab a water and a beer from your fridge. “I’ve never met anyone who enjoyed the taste of beer beyond the association of it getting them drunk.”
You hand it off to him, and he takes the opportunity to pull you in for another kiss. The motion is filled with the same cutting up energy rather than the tension from the beach, and you can’t help but try to return to it as you press your tongue against Bucky’s lips.
He pulls away.
“I don’t want to watch a movie, Bucky,” you announce.
If you thought that would immediately get Bucky into your pants, the look on his face proves you wrong. “Oh? Alright, well I’ve got some ideas for what we could get up to.”
You watch, heart falling as he pulls out his phone, switching the beer into his left hand. You watch, mouth open and closing as you fish for something to say. A song starts emanating from the device, something soft and slow. The tune crackles like it’s old. Knowing Bucky, it probably is.
He turns the music up, walking into the living room. “C’mere, doll,” he calls. You follow him and watch as he sets the phone right next to the TV. “C’mon, come here,” he waves you over.
He puts the beer back in his right hand, and when you’re close enough he holds both his arms out. Getting the idea, you lift your arms around his neck. Bucky swings his real arm around you, vibranium going to your waist. You give in entirely. If this is what Bucky wants to do, you’re not going to complain about it.
The man in question starts humming into your ear, obviously knowing this song well. Each line brings you two closer, and you lose yourself in the rhythm and melody.
“This better than a movie?” Bucky asks, and you almost want to groan at him snapping you out of the moment - though something tells you he might have done it on purpose. It’s in the light tone of his voice, the way he’s whispering in your own home. He knows exactly what he’s doing to you, playing with you like a cat might with a mouse.
“Yes, Bucky, it’s nice.” Your eyes slip closed again, though you didn’t know you’d closed them at all.
Bucky sways you softly, music still crooning in the background. Your eyes are still shut, but you can feel how close his face is to yours, each exhale of Bucky’s sending chills down your neck. “I wanted. . .” you trail off, not sure you knew how you were even going to finish that sentence.
The cold, wet neck of the bottle in Bucky’s hand presses further into your shoulder as he pulls you in even closer, lips right on top of yours. “I know, I know what you wanted.”
His lips fully close over yours, softer and more tender than they’d been at the beach. His metal hand comes up to cradle your head, the other arm staying wrapped around your shoulder. “Bucky. . .” you sigh.
He hums, and you feel the vibration through where his lips remain pressed to yours. He’s still gently rocking you, but all of your senses have closed off. The music is nonexistent, and your feet can’t possibly still be rooted to the ground. All there is, maybe all there’s ever been, is Bucky.
“You know I can’t do anything until we talk about it,” Bucky whispers. “If you can’t even tell me what you want, I’m not going to do anything at all.”
He’s right - you know he is. If you want to have sex with Bucky, you ought to at least be able to tell him that, verbatim. But it’s just so awkward-
“I’d like to have sex tonight, if that’s something you’d be comfortable doing,” you murmur, forcing it out before you could lose your nerve. The muscles in your shoulders snap down, releasing tension you didn’t realize you were storing in them. Even without a response, getting the embarrassing part over with makes the rest of it all the easier.
You can feel Bucky smile against you, his skin brushing across yours with the movement. “I’d also like to have sex tonight. Preferably with you, though apparently you’re open to other possibilities-”
You smack the back of his neck. “I’d like to have sex with you, James.”
He hums again, his grin growing to part his lips fully. “I love it when you call me James, you know that?”
“I tend to say it when I’m annoyed with you,” you note.
“I’ll introspect on that later,” Bucky leans in, kissing you again. “For now, I just want to love you. How’s that sound, hm?”
You open your eyes, making eye contact with him. A shy smile takes over your face. “I’d like that,” you say softly.
Bucky lifts you up, your jump really only needed to give you a chance to wrap your legs around him. “Hi,” he says, goofy as he positions you at eye level.
You giggle. “Hello,” you lean back in, kissing him in full force now. “Bedroom? If we could-”
“We can, we can, just hold on-”
Bucky stumbles the two of you into the bedroom - a miraculously clean bedroom, because you always, always, hope for maybe - since he can’t seem to stop trying to make out with you as he walks. “I love you so much, you know that?” he mumbles against your lips.
You’re all smiles and happy noises, overjoyed that he’s finally ready in the ways you’ve been ready. “I love you, too,” you breathe out.
Depositing you on clean, starch-smelling sheets, you watch as Bucky begins to undress. “Oh, let me!” You pop back up, hands dipping under his own to pull his shirt off yourself. Immediately, you’re overtaken by the sight of skin, and while one hand drops his tee to the floor, the other traces over hard scars and planes.
From the corner of your eye, you can see Bucky’s hands drifting to grab your own. You don’t let him get the chance - both your arms wrap around him, and you burrow into your boyfriend’s warmth.
“Uh, sweetheart. . .” Bucky stutters. “I assume this wasn’t-”
You shush him. “Let me hold you for just a moment.”
Gentle lips press against the top of your head. “Then take your time,” he allows.
When you’re ready, you release the embrace, and spin around in Bucky’s arms. “Unbutton me?”
“Alright,” he whispers. The fingers trailing along your back send shivers through your body as Bucky carefully works with each button and hole, and the shivers turn to chills when he pushes the straps from your shoulders. The dress pools around your feet, leaving you in just your panties.
Resisting the urge to cover your chest, you take a deep inhale and spin back around, pulling his face back to your own before he can see you clearly. Bucky doesn’t stop you, but you feel his eager hands trace upwards, waiting impatiently for permission to touch. Eyes closed and lips locked, you drag them both to the destination they seek.
Bucky groans into your mouth, and his metal arm drops to your leg to twist you and pull you down onto his lap as he sits on the bed. When he puts it back, you jump at the cool vibranium squeezing your breast. The bionic arm only squeezes and holds, though - the flesh plays, fingers dancing and teasing your nipple and tissue. “James,” you moan.
“Hm?” he hums, and you can feel that stupid smirk kissing you. Bucky flips you both then, laying you out on the bed as he hovers above you. His left arm props him up as his right gently keeps one of your wrists pinned - as if he can sense your self-consciousness, your desire to cover and hide. “God, you’re so gorgeous,” he whispers.
Your elbows prop you up as Bucky stands, his hands going to his jeans. You know you’ve got to be practically drooling as he removes all of his remaining clothing - first his shoes, chuckling nervously because he forgot they were still on his feet, and then his socks, and then his pants and boxers in one go.
“Oh,” you whimper, all senses zeroed in on Bucky’s cock, erect and weeping at the uncut tip. Nothing else registers - not the clanging of some hidden knife hitting your hardwood floor, not the redness in Bucky’s face as he awkwardly apologizes, not the way he goes silent at how intensely you’re staring at his crotch.
Before he can say another word, your fingers are hooking in the waistband of your underwear, but he manages to grab your hands before you can get them below your butt. “Please, let me.” Carefully, and keeping eye contact with you, Bucky kneels on the floor beside your bed. His hands slide down your legs, hooking at your ankles and dragging you forward until you’re at the edge of the mattress.
Nimble fingers unbuckle your sandals and put them right under the bed, before climbing back up to your hips. “Raise yourself on your hands, baby,” he instructs, eyes floating back to yours again. You can feel the energy, Bucky trying to recover from mishaps you missed. Putting all your weight in your wrists, you do as he says and watch with wide eyes as he pulls your pink panties across your ass, down your thighs, and drops them right below your feet.
Bucky’s eyes slowly take in your naked upper half on their way down to your revealed pussy. When they find their mark, his palms raise to spread your trembling knees. His gaze is piercing, intimate - he could raise himself and enter you right now, and it would feel less intrusive than this.
Bucky raises himself enough to lean into you, but his face doesn’t find your center like you might have expected. Instead, his lips press kisses across your stomach and around your naval. “I love you,” he proclaims again.
A quote comes to mind, but you don’t speak it. To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow - this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.
A finger traces across your cunt, and you shudder.
“Oh, shit, you should probably-” you direct Bucky towards the nightstand. “Lube?”
You can’t help but snort at the confusion that overtakes his features as he looks up. “I thought we’d, y’know, we don’t have to immediately-”
The snort becomes a cackle. “Bucky,” you have to take gasps and calm yourself to actually get your words out. “It’s fine, I’m aroused, and we can still do foreplay. But I’m also a week away from my period - I’m not going to be as wet.”
His brow creases even further. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“I’ll tell you about vaginal and ovarian glands some other time, baby. Grab the lube and a condom and get back over here.”
Bucky nods, but still looks very taken aback. That just won’t do - you’ll have to distract him. You sit up fully as he rummages through your drawer, and one of your hands drifts in between your thighs. The sigh that leaves you is involuntary, but brings his eyes back to you on the spot. “Holy fuck,” he mutters, before rummaging through your nightstand more chaotically than he already was.
You giggle, which is quickly becoming your natural state around this man. “Bucky!” you sing-song, teasing him. “Bucky Barnes!”
“For Christ’s sake.” Suddenly he’s back on top of you, directing you to the pillows at the head of the bed. You watch him drop the lube and a condom - two condoms? - to your left before he’s grabbing your head and shoving his tongue down your throat. Bucky doesn’t stay there long though, his mouth pecking a trail down your body until he’s back between your thighs.
“Is it alright if I eat you out?”
“Yes! Yes, oh my god, Bucky-” The word is barely out of your mouth before he’s sucking on your clit, both hands steadying you at your hips while he gets the angle right. “Ah!”
Your eyes screw themselves shut, and your hands grab at his hair. “Bucky!” you wail. And it is wailing, what you’re doing. Already, your eyes sting with tears. Your hand hasn’t been able to replicate how good it feels to have someone working over you, bringing pleasure your neurons can’t warn your clit of ahead of time.
The suction is life-changing, and the wet sounds absolutely drown you. Your hips thrust upwards to meet Bucky’s mouth and tongue - which works incredibly well for someone who may not have done this in a hot minute.
Bucky tilts his head forward, leaning against your pelvis as he breaks for breath. “You taste so good, doll.” He brings his head up again, meeting your eyes. “Let me show you?”
You nod, and pull him back up your body. Enraptured in a kiss that tastes like you, you don’t hear him grab the lube bottle, or pop it open as he gets ready to prep you. However, the loud squelch as he puts some on his fingers is enough to make you start roaring with your tongue in Bucky’s mouth.
“You’re a child, you know that? A child-”
“Shhh! Just-” your laughter overtakes you. “Just, please, keep going-”
Bucky’s smiling though, even as he looks down to watch as his lubed fingers enter you. “Ohhh,” you whine, the sensation overriding your sense of humor. He thrusts them in and out soft and slow, carefully turning them to each wall, crooking them when he slides down and straightening them when he slides up.
“That’s what I thought,” Bucky smirks. You slap his arm, but he doesn’t humor it this time. His flesh fingers just keep exploring the inside of you. “God, it’s so warm,” he whispers.
“Have you ever. . .” you trail off, unsure if you should have said anything in the first place.
“Not in a long time, and. . . not like this, not really-” Bucky glances up. “It was also usually with-”
“Oh, I get it. I understand.”
Bucky nods, seeming to sense that he probably shouldn’t talk about that right now. “Have you?” he asks.
You open your mouth to respond, but break into a moan. His fingers had twisted and folded just right, just for a second. Recovering, you say, “Yeah, a little. But mostly like - Oh, god! - uh, mostly crappy high school, college sex. Guys who didn’t know what they were doing, and didn’t want to hear how to do better.”
Bucky’s fingers stop. “You tell me at any point if you need me to stop, or change, or-”
“I will! I promise, I will, I didn’t mean to insinuate that-”
“No, it’s fine, I didn’t think-”
“Bucky!” you yell. His fingers had shifted when he tried to respond, curling upwards in you.
“Was that good or bad?” he asks.
“Did you guys know about g-spots in the 40s?” you pant.
The wrinkles on his face indicate maybe not.
“Lesson for another time. I’m prepped, Bucky, just-”
He pulls out of you with a less-than-sexy sound, which puts a smile back on your face. Before he can grab the condoms, you do. “Your hand is slippery, let me. C’mere.”
Bucky sits up on his knees, shuffling closer to you. Careful to not tear the latex, you open the tin foil of one package, and look down to Bucky’s dick. It’s bigger than you expected, but it isn’t too long, and you sigh out a breath of relief that you’re not going to be in for a bruised cervix after this.
“Are you. . . alright?”
You look back to Bucky, who seems. . . upset? “Yeah, why- Oh! That was not directed at you - or like that! I was just, you know, happy, because you’re not too long-”
“Uh, excuse me?”
“Oh my god.” You bury your face in your hands. “I’m so sorry, that’s not an offensive thing, I just had a boyfriend in college who was kind of long, and it really hurt - because, you know, the cervix-”
“Hey, hey, stop.” Bucky pulls your hands from your face, the opened condom dropping between the two of you. “I’m sorry, I should have let you finish. I understand, alright?”
You nod, trying to calm down so you don’t do something crazy and emotional - like, cry.
“You have a really nice dick,” you try to recover.
Bucky’s grin is the definition of shit-eating. “Thanks, babe. I’m gonna stick it in you now, if that’s alright.”
“God, you’re the worst,” you joke, picking the condom back up and sliding it onto Bucky.
“You’re gonna eat those words,” he warns you.
“Uh huh. What position do you want, Buck?”
He pauses, thinking. You fiddle with the end of the condom, fingers dancing around smooth latex, silky smooth skin, and surprisingly well trimmed hair. “I know it’s supposed to be boring, but maybe you on your back? This time? I want to see you-”
He breaks off with a groan as you give him a couple of quick pumps over the condom. “I like that. Scoot back.” You shoo him backwards, and awkwardly move yourself down the bed to lay out entirely. When you’re settled, Bucky leans over you, his own nipples at eye level with you. While he lovingly puts a pillow under your head, you shoot up, latching onto a nipple with your mouth.
“Holy fuck, girl, Jesus Christ-”
You giggle around his skin, and you feel like the vibration might not be the worst sensation by the way he moans out into your room. Moving back with a wet pop, you tease him, “Lexie is gonna hear you!” Lexie. The other tenant in the right half of the duplex.
Bucky smirks. “No, babe. They’re gonna hear you.” He plants his hands on either side of your face while his knees move down the bed. Eye contact breaks while Bucky looks down between the two of you to focus as he lines himself up. When the tip of his cock accidentally slaps against your clit, you moan, and the teeth Bucky shows indicate he’ll be keeping that reaction in mind.
When he’s lined up, he looks back to you. You take him in - clicking arm next to your head, holding all his weight; flesh and blood connecting to flesh and blood; steel blue eyes waiting for your cue. “I’m ready, Bucky, you can go.”
With a nod, he presses forward, into your pussy. “God,” he hisses. “God, you’re so tight.” When he’s seated all the way in, he stops, taking a moment. His head hangs, and he shifts all his weight onto his knees as his arms slip under your legs and put them at his waist. “It’s hard enough to leave you anyways, but your pussy might have just leashed me to Florida forever, Jesus Christ-”
“Please fuck me, James, please-”
“Alright, I will, baby, I will.”
True to his word, Bucky starts moving in you, his thrusts slow and steady, but still hard. All you can feel is his covered cock as it pistons in and out of you with lovely wet noises that you’d like to never stop hearing. It’s shocking, now that it’s happening, how much you needed this.
What shocks you is the noises Bucky starts releasing - high pitched whimpers every now and again. You cock your head to the side, your normally lifted mouth dropping into a frown.
“That good, baby?” you ask.
His head jolts up, and you watch him become aware of the noises he’s making as he fucks you. “I’m sorry, you just feel so good-”
“Don’t be sorry,” you soothe. You lift your hands to his head, and scratch softly at the hair right at the top of his neck while your thumbs caress the skin right under his ear. “Keep going, Bucky, take me.”
It’s the first time in your life you’ve ever wanted someone else’s pleasure so desperately. Bucky listens to you, his hips speeding up as he chases his own high. He drops his body closer to yours, lips finding the delicate skin where your jaw meets your neck. “Keep your legs propped up for me, sweetheart,” he mumbles as his right hand moves to your clit and his left moves to cradle your face.
“Shit!” you wail, bucking your hips up into his fingertips. “Oh, Bucky-” Apparently, the forties did know the importance of the clit.
“You’re so good to me,” he whispers into your ear before letting out the prettiest moan you’ve ever heard from any man, ever. You turn your head to find his lips, murmuring as many I love you’s as you can manage.
“You don’t know how much I’ve wanted this, sweetheart. All those nights you spent in my lap during movies that I was not paying attention to, because how could I? How could I, when all I could feel was the heat between your legs-”
It doesn’t take much before you’re breaking the kiss, mouth dropped open as your eyes lock onto Bucky’s with a high-pitched whimper. His eyebrows raise as your pussy spasms around his cock and your legs tremble slightly. “Are you-” his eyes flicker between your own and where you’re connected. “God, you’re so good. Cum for me, baby. Cum around my cock, cum on my fingers.”
Your whimpers turn back into your trademark wailing, hips gyrating spastically as you spasm around Bucky’s cock. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he groans, his own pelvis increasing speed drastically. “I love you, and I love this pussy, holy shit-”
He stills suddenly, and your glazed eyes gaze up at him lovingly, your hand stroking the back of his neck. You’re fuckdrunk, mentally checked out for everything, save the man on top of you. “That’s it, Bucky, cum for me, baby,” you coo. “I love you, you did so good.”
Bucky’s chest heaves as he finishes and begins to recover. “God, I should - I guess-” he leaves you with a raunchy noise that emanates from between your thighs, and soothes you as you hiss from the oversensitivity. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” you assure him. “Would you mind getting a washcloth? They’re in the closet in the bathroom. A soft one would be preferable.”
Bucky nods, getting up and working with the condom as he walks into the en suite. He comes back a second later, flaccid and bare. You snicker. “You might want to wet that first, James,” you nod to the dry cloth in his hand.
“Oh! Right, one second,” he exclaims, rushing back into the bathroom. The faucet runs, and you lean back into the pillows, resting your eyes and stretching during the wait. You must be sleepier than you thought, because the feeling of cool dampness between your thighs shocks your eyes back open.
“Sorry, sorry,” Bucky mumbles. “I was trying to be gentle, I swear.”
“‘is fine,” you slur, already wanting to close your eyes again.
“I can grab some clothes for you,” Bucky offers, still gently wiping around your vulva and thighs. “What do you sleep in?”
You smirk, bringing an arm across your face. “I don’t.”
“I sleep naked if I’m not on my period.”
You splay your arm out to the side, glancing at him with a smile. “I did it for a week when I moved out on my own and now clothes just feel weird, you know?”
Bucky sits back, putting the cloth on the nightstand. “Why’d you do it that first week?”
You shrug. “Felt like something silly to cross off the mental live-by-yourself bucket list. Now it’s my baggage for anyone who lives with me.” You flick the unused condom to the floor as you speak, hiding your embarrassment at how childish you sound.
“I don’t think it’ll be baggage for too many people you consider moving in with,” he laughs.
“I don’t know. Roommates may not be into it.”
“I’d be into it,” he says, and you can tell he’s not joking around. You sit up, becoming eye level with Bucky.
“I’ve been afraid of this conversation, if I’m being honest,” you tell him.
His hand goes to your face, remaining the physical anchor of the night. “I know you don’t want to move, sweetheart. I’m not planning on asking you to, if that’s what’s scaring you.”
You smile, but it’s a sad one, lips lacing in unsaid apologies. “I don’t want to make you uproot your life on my behalf, Bucky. You have a home-”
“I have an apartment. And a television. And like, three shirts. There is no job, no family, no friends. My life got uprooted nearly a century ago. I’m looking to put down new roots,” he tucks a piece of hair behind your ear. “I could do that with you, here, if you would like to share this with me.”
“Besides me, is there even one benefit to moving to Florida?”
He grins. “Did you just call yourself a benefit?”
“Is there a way to remove that arm? I want to hit you with it.”
He sobers. “I have been thinking about moving somewhere closer to Sam, you know.”
“Bucky Barnes! Sam Wilson is, like, eight hours away! At least-”
“He’s like a day away from Brooklyn! I only see this as an improvement.” He leans into you, breath fanning over your face. “Think of the road trips, baby. Eight - maybe more - hours of just you, and me, and the music you and Sam force me to listen to.”
You gasp. “You said you liked Taylor Swift!”
“I don’t want to live with you right now,” you cut him off, steering the discussion back into serious territory.
“Oh. I’m sorry.” Your face screws up in anger at yourself, watching him grow dejected at your statement.
“No, wait, I didn’t mean it like that!” Inhale. “I just mean. . . I’d like to have you here, often, for some time, before moving in together. We’re just apart so often. . . sometimes you can’t even call. . . I don’t want us to move in and then realize we can’t spend weeks together without breaking out into a fight.” Exhale.
“I understand,” he says. “Don’t be mad,” he warns.
Your forehead creases. “Why would I be mad?”
Bucky pulls back, looking to the floor.
“What did you do?”
“The good news is that your duplex neighbor just scored an awesome Brooklyn sublet.”
“Bucky. Oh my god.”
He raises his hands, feigning I swear I didn’t mean for this to happen energy that you know can’t be true. “I genuinely just didn’t want them to hear us fucking when you let me move in. But. . . I could move in next door. Unless that’s too close.”
“Someone else would’ve just moved in,” you note, but you don’t hear his response, your head already filling with consuming thoughts.
You hum, eyes trailing to Bucky’s bare ass while you think of what life would be like with Bucky in the other half of the building. You two could make a garden in the back, like you and Lexie had been thinking of trying to get permission to do. He’d be far enough away that you could keep your distance, go days without seeing each other.
It could go really poorly, if you’re being honest. Too little space for not moving in to make sense. Too much space to avoid each other for too long while you fought.
But there’d be good moments, ones that would parody what it would be like to live together - without committing to the joint bank account, and the furniture that doesn’t belong to one person alone. The feeling of coming home at the same time, or kissing each other on the cheek on the way to work. Calling one from across the wall to come give a massage, or cook a nice dinner. Intimacy separated by drywall, temporarily.
“I’m not into pegging,” Bucky says.
You snort, bring your vision up to his face. “I was thinking, I promise. You’re not into pegging?”
He blanches. “Are you into pegging?”
The grin you take on is sinister. “I reserve that information for neighbor friends only.”
243 notes · View notes
Anon: Hii there hope ur having a great day . I just a Zoro female yandere reader and I think I'm hooked 😐 on yandere reader so can we have one with shanks and if its not to much to ask a part 2 of Zoro. You don't have to do the part 2 if u don't feel like it thought. [Female reader ]
Have a nice day💝
Hey Anon, thank you for requesting! I'm so happy that you liked my Zoro x Yandere! Reader! I don't know if I will make a part two of the Zoro one though. This one is not nsfw cause I think this way it's a little more sinister. It is also more of readers internal thought process than a lot of interaction with Shanks but maybe I'll write a part two (if people want to) that is nsfw.
Also warning for anyone who doesn't like reader not getting along with other crew members since this reader is jealous of literally anyone (Which is NOT normal behavior, for anyone wondering lol).
Warning: toxic behavior, mention of sex, reader needs to see someone with her issues, reader needs to chill, threats
Pairing: Shanks x Yandere! female reader
Word count: 1.6k
You were sitting at a beach together; warm breeze gently stroking your face, the soothing sound of the waves landing on shore and the cheerful laughter or the other crew members made for comfortable atmosphere. At least that should be the case. Your eyes were glued to you captain talking to Benn, booze in his hand and laughing his ass off to something his right-hand-man had said. Angrily, you clenched your teeth but tried hiding the fact that you were not pleased about this situation.
Why was he talking to Benn over there when he could sit and talk with you over here? You emptied your cup and filled it up immediately, wanting to drown this feeling of anger. Shanks didn’t seem to notice and kept telling story after story, much to his crew’s amusement. Fine, you thought, getting up from your place and staggering over to where he was. If he doesn’t want to come to me I’ll go to him.
The red haired male looked up when he saw you coming over, smiling his usual drunk and dorky smile and made you sit right next to him while draping his arm around you. “There you are! Why didn’t you come earlier? You were sitting there all by yourself, Y/n-chan!” he laughed, kissing your cheek with his wet lips, pulling you closer to him.
You giggled, leaning your head against his shoulder after giving it a small kiss as well. “I thought you would come over to me.” You answered, your sweet smile never leaving your lips. Shanks laughed even harder, his whole body shaking as he did. “You should’ve called me over then!” The rest of the crew joined in his laughter, making you feel embarrassed and angry at the same time. Internally, you would’ve loved to just punch each and every one of them for laughing at you but you needed to stay composed.
“Benn was just telling me how-“ but you cut him off, pulling his face towards you and kissing him as he was speaking. The man was surprised but didn’t complain, reciprocating your kiss which turned more and more heated by the second. The crew around your sheered you two on but you tuned them out. When you broke the kiss you looked into his eyes, then moved closer to his ear, biting at its shell. “Why don’t we find a more secluded spot and get some time alone?” you asked in a suggestive voice, feeling excited goosebumps on his skin. You just wanted to get him away from them. You wanted to have him for yourself!
It wasn’t that easy to get him away from his crew when you were on the ship. After all, he was the captain and it wouldn’t be good if he was missing the majority of the time. Each time he spoke with one of his men you just watched from afar, your stomach boiling with anger. You wouldn’t call it jealousy, this feeling – that was reserved for insecure people. You just wanted Shanks for yourself and yourself alone. That was something completely different!
Out of the corner of your eyes you saw Benn approach you with his usual stern expression. You liked him the least because he was the one your man spent the majority of his time with besides you. And that pissed you off.
“Everything okay, Y/n?” he asked. You smiled at him, nodding your head as a confirmation. “Sure. What should be wrong?” you wanted to know, eying him secretly. “You just seemed a little upset, that’s all.”
“I’m fine but thank you for asking.” Benn nodded and looked over to Shanks who just finished talking. You were sure Benn wanted to talk to his captain but you didn’t like this idea. So, before he could walk over to the red-haired male you skipped over to him yourself, giving Benn no chance to talk to him.
“I love you.” You said in a low voice before kissing him on the lips, creating a barrier between Shanks and Benn who stopped in his tracks behind you. Shanks chuckled and looked down at you, a gentle smile on his lips. You wished you could look at his face like this forever but you were sure Benn would start occupying his time if you didn’t play your cards right.
“At the last port I bought this new outfit and I wanted to show you how it looks….interested?” you asked, pressing your body to his and kissing his bare chest. Shanks smile grew wider and he was already pulling you towards his room. “Captain, can I talk to you for a minute?” you heard Benn call out for him but you made sure to push him inside his room and closing the door behind you. Benn could get lost for all you cared.
You knew Benn got suspicious by the way he behaved around you. He was colder than to others and was always watching you. You didn’t like it. Who does he think he is?
But you had enough when Shanks pulled you aside one day with a slightly concerned look on his face.
“Y/n-chan, we need to talk for a moment.” You stomach dropped and you followed him tenuously to his room. He sat you down but didn’t take a seat next to you on the bed. “W-what is it?” your voice was thin, looking up at you boyfriend in concern. Shanks rubbed his neck, not knowing where to start.
“You see….the crew is getting concerned that I might be spending a little too much time with you that I should be navigating and being their captain. Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with you but I can see how I might be neglecting my duties as a captain.” He said, looking quite uncomfortable. Anger started to boil in the pit of your stomach but you didn’t show it. Instead, tears started forming in your eyes.
“A-are you breaking up with me?” you sobbed, your vision slightly blurry due to the tears. Shanks immediately crouched down in front of you, taking your hands in his. “No! No, no, no, no, no! Not at all! That’s not what I meant!” he exclaimed, trying to calm you down. “Benn was just concerned about me and my job as a captain, that’s all. I wanna be there for you but you must understand that I also have to be there for my crew.”
That fucking bastard. How dare he try and push me away from Shanks?! You. Were. Furious. “I’m sorry I am clingy! I’m sorry I care about you! I’m sorry for being a burden to you! I’m sorr-!”
“Stop! No, don’t be sorry! You’re not a burden to me. Not at all! I love you, Y/n-chan! Stop saying something like this, okay?” he was really concerned; he didn’t want you to feel guilty about loving him and wanting to spend time with him. It was only natural, wasn’t it?
Shanks pulled you into his embrace, placing his chin on yours and stroking your back gently, letting you cry on his shoulder. He felt awful about this. He was making himself responsible for your crying. His presence helped you calm down along with his reassuring words that he was sorry and didn’t mean to hurt you. But you weren’t listing to him.
In your mind you were already making Benn pay for what he’d done. You wouldn’t be able to hurt, let alone kill this man but you would make damn sure he would never think about sabotaging your relationship with him again.
“How did you do it, Y/n?” you heard a familiar voice from beside you. You were sitting on a beach, watching the calming sea and hearing the screeching of the seagulls above you. You looked to the side, a warm smile on your face. Benn looked down at you with a frown, his body posture told you he was wary and on edge.
“I don’t know what you're talking about.” You replied, making him ‘tsk’.
“We both know what you’re doing here, Y/n and I warn you. If you get in our, in his way of becoming the next pirate king I’ll make-“
“You’ll make me regret it? And how if I may ask?” Benn was silent, his eyes just boring into yours.
“What do you want to tell him? That I’m bad for him? That he maybe should consider breaking up with me cause I might get in his way?” you stood up, holding you chin up high with a smug smile.
“Cause that worked out brilliantly the last time, didn’t it?”
“You manipulated him.” He flat out stated but you just shrugged.
“Some tears here, some blowjob there, you gotta keep the man on his feet and interested in you. And I make damn well sure he will never get tired of me.” You said, slowly walking past him.
But before you were too far away, you turned around one last time.
“Oh, and just so we’re clear. If you ever talk to him about me again in a negative way, maybe I’ll let it slip that a certain first mate tried to hit on me or even tried to force himself on me. I mean, what other reason would you have to make Shanks spend less time with me other than for you to have a chance?” you saw his face contort into a snarl, his fists clenching and unclenching.
“He wouldn’t believe you.” You tilted your head to the side, the smile on your face not wavering.
“Wanna find out? He is my man and I don’t want anyone to come between us, understood?”
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Coin Toss (Star x Michael, Poly!Lost Boys x Michael)
Warnings: cursing, mentions of bloodlust
Word Count: 1.9k
A role reversal fic where Michael is a full vampire that spots a new girl on the boardwalk
When Star came to Santa Carla, she thought she knew what to expect. She'd lived in countless cities. She'd hitch-hiked up and down the entire west coast ever since she's left home the day she'd turned eighteen. She'd had nothing more than a suitcase full of necessities, the clothes on her back, and money she'd been saving since she’d gotten her working papers.
Now, that very same suitcase was tattered and patched up as best as it could be, and her most recent ride had wished her luck when they dropped her off in the beach-side town. For a trip with no exact destination in mind, it was as good as a place to stop as any. It was almost dark, and Star knew better than to accept rides after the sun set. So, she counted her cash, bought the cheapest room she could find, and began her search for a steady income. At least, for a few weeks. She knew that if the search turned out to be fruitless, she could always scalp a few townies with some of her less treasured possessions. They wouldn't know the difference between real vintage and fake if she slapped them with it, and most town folk were used to exuberant prices anyways. She could sell the ring off her finger for twenty-five bucks if she needed to, and, in 1987, that could, at least, get her food for a couple of days.
Star also knew better than to entertain a distraction like a boy. She was supposed to be looking at the help wanted posters stapled to the bulletin boards, not catching a Jim Morrison look-alikes stare.
He had a dark brown mullet and stubble dusting a cut jaw and a handsome face. He was wearing shades, even if it was nighttime. She'd only seen his eyes the second time she'd glanced over, and it'd only been a fraction of a second. She thought she'd felt someone staring, and she'd watched as he pulled them down his nose and how his lips curled up into a smug smile. She expected his eyes to be red and glassy, as that was the only reason she thought he'd need the shades. Instead, for a flicker of a second, she saw that they were clear and blue. While she was the one who had caught him staring, somehow he made her feel embarrassed. The flush rushing up to her cheeks caused her to quickly turn her head, her curls bouncing as she reached out to rip off the first piece of paper her hand made contact with. She didn't even register what it was as she tried to recover.
He was obviously a biker, as the machine he sat on and his friends besides him gave it away. He was flanked with two on either side, and, while all of them were attractive, the middle brunette had caught her attention first. They were punks, or, at least, his friends were. The middle one only wore a t-shirt and jeans, with the only thing giving him a bit of an edge being the leather jacket he wore. She'd known both good and bad when it came to that type, and briefly recalled a biker gang that had given her a ride all the way from Oregon to Washington. And the others that were the reason she carried a knife in her bag. It wasn't the most impressive bike out of the line, as his bleach haired friend was sitting on a Triumph. But it was better than nothing, which was what she had. She glanced over at him once more, and caught his eyes again.
He'd kept his glasses down, and it seemed his eyes hadn't left her in the seconds she'd looked away. She could hear his friends jeering and racketing, but it almost seemed to fade as she really caught sight of those ocean blues. She watched as he clicked his jaw, an amused smile on his face, but Star almost registered none of it. She didn't even register the way his friend slapped his shoulder, or the fact that it wasn't just his attention that she'd caught now. The sounds and lights of the boardwalk almost seemed to fade away, and an almost foreign thought danced around in her mind. I should talk to him. If she was able to focus on anything, she would've noticed the oddness of the thought. Sure, she knew that she could have fun sometimes. But never the first night in a new place. Still, her feet were almost aching to step forward. She hadn't even noticed that the overly-packed boardwalk was weirdly sparse in this area. As if the locals knew better. Usually, a decision like this, and like most, was like throwing a coin in the air.
It wasn't until the brunette pushed his glasses up that she was able to pull her eyes away, and she glanced down at the paper in her hands. It was a missing poster, and, in her shock, she dropped it. It was enough to dispel the previous thought from her head, and she reminded herself of just how many missing posters she'd seen on her walk. She dared to cast the group of bikers one more glance, before she decided that, good or bad, she needed to keep her head down for awhile.
"Swing and a miss, Mikey." Paul laughed besides him, and Michael scoffed as he readjusted his grip on his handlebars. They watched as the girl Michael had been trying to reel in walked away, getting swept up like a leaf in a current by the ever-moving stream of Santa Carla's crowd.
"You're getting better." David said to him from the other side of Dwayne, but Michael didn't want his encouragement. He wanted dinner. He'd been turned for over a month, and he still couldn't get mind-tricks to stick. The second he thought so, David said besides him, "It takes time, Michael." And he didn't know if it was the hand Dwayne put on his shoulder or those words that made him snap.
Michael was known to have a short fuse even before he became a blood-thirsty creature of the night. They remembered the first night how he'd punched David clear across his face. Vampirism didn't make his anger issues much better, and, even with some herbal supplement from Paul, Michael had a hard time keeping himself calm when his thirst was acting up.
"Fuck that. I'll get her my way." He said, shaking off Dwaynes hand and nearly taking the handlebars with him when he pushed himself off his bike. The boys didn't even try to stop him. Michael was like a freight train at the best of times, and it was only by sheer luck that David was able to steer him in the right direction most of the time. As Michael walked off, Marko called,
"And what's your way, Michael?" And the brunette only replied with a single finger as he disappeared into the crowd. It earned a round of laughter, but David shook his head and sighed out a mouthful of smoke.
"Maybe he'll learn." Dwayne said, his voice half hopeful. David shot him a look. He doubted it, but he didn't bother stating so. He crossed his arms, leaning forward on his bike. He could feel that Michael was out there, smell him, but he couldn't see him. He was lost to the crowd, and, unless he wanted to do a mental tap, they'd have to wait for him to return. With or without the girl.
But it wasn't Michaels failure that bothered him. He and Michael, well- They had something. The same thing he had with the rest of the boys. And yet- he'd seen the way Michael had looked at her. David guessed that it wasn't just bloodlust propelling him forward, pushing him towards finding the girl. Perhaps it was a different kind of lust altogether. After a moment, he blew out another gust of smoke and said,
"Who knows? Maybe his way will work." And his tone was only slightly bitter.
"It's a ripoff." She turned, startled, and saw the boy from before. He'd pushed his glasses up and away from his face, and he smiled to reveal a row of pearly whites. She gave him a shy one in return as she asked,
"What?" And he pointed at the earring station. She'd been considering applying. While she hadn't used the machinery before, Star had steady hands and was a quick learner. He was backing away, just a few steps, and Star betrayed herself by following.
"If you want your ear pierced, I'll do it." He offered, and Star let out a soft laugh at the suggestion. She watched as he flicked his own piercing, and Star tilted her head. Perhaps he was more of a punk than she thought. She pushed back her hair, revealing her already pierced ears.
"Should've asked me a few years ago." Star said, and she watched as the boys scoffed out a laugh. He shook his head, before he asked,
"What's your name?" And Star found herself smiling and giving it to him despite herself.
"Star." She answered, and the brunette gave her a smile. It was similar to the smile he'd given her on his bike. A certain level of smugness to it. Perhaps it didn't deter her as much as it should've.
"I'm Michael. You lived here long, Star?" He asked, and Star tried not to think of the way her name sounded when he said it. Star looked ahead, her hands out in front of her. The boy was right besides her now, and she was almost positive that if she let her hands loose at her sides he would take the opportunity to brush their knuckles together. Maybe she wouldn't mind.
"A few days." More like a few hours. But she wasn't going to tell him that. Not if he turned out to be some psycho killer freak.
"Staying long?" He asked, and she noted that he almost sounded hopeful. She decided to lie a little, and said,
"Maybe. I'm visiting some friends." She said, and he hummed. It was a half-truth. If she counted the ocean as a friend. When it came to human beings, she didn't know a single one on this side of the continental united states.
"Wanna make some more? Get something to eat?" And there it was. He'd slipped it in so seamlessly, she was almost impressed. Both had it's pros, both had it's cons. And she wouldn't really know all of them until the coin fell. She gave him a smile, and brushed her hair behind her ear. They'd been walking with no destination in mind, but she could see that they'd headed back exactly where she'd come. She could almost see his friends and their bikes.
As much as she needed to find a job- as much as she knew this was probably a bad idea- she never turned down a free meal. It definitely helped that there was something she liked about the boy. With the way he smiled at her, she could tell that he was probably thinking the same. When she looked into his eyes, she felt different than she has before. Nothing faded out, but she still felt the same flutter in the pit of her stomach. Maybe, just maybe, she'd stay in Santa Carla long enough to find out what it was. And just like that, the coin was caught. It was smacked on the back of her hand, and it was time to see which way she'd sway. It was time to call it.
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Light My Fire
Read on AO3
Ch. 1 – He's A Dream
If there’s one thing these midwestern hicks in this boring ass town know how to do, it’s throw an absolute fucking rager. That’s all the teens of Hawkins ever do, considering there’s fuck all else to do around the place.
There’s no beach to swim or surf at. Closest thing they have to that are a few lakes that are small and full of brown water. There’s no skate part either, which pissed Max off the second she found out. No drive-in, just some boring little theater in the square, only one arcade, barely any shops that aren’t general stores. Seriously, where the hell do these people get their clothes?
Needless to say, Hawkins, Indiana is a boring, boring ass town. So what better way to spend your time than by partying nearly every damn night?
Since arriving in this shithole just a couple weeks ago, Billy’s made a point to show up to every single rager he hears about, eager to build a reputation for himself. If he’s gonna be trapped here until the second he’s legally allowed to hop in his car and drive away into the sunset, then he might as well make it a fun time.
Tonight’s kegger is being thrown by some cheerleader Billy can’t even put a face to. The house is fairly modest, located in a neighborhood not far from Billy’s own. It’s certainly not as extravagant as some of the houses he’s seen up in Loch Nora. The place is already decently full of drunk teenagers once Billy arrives, the living room packed with people dancing to Van Halen’s Jump playing on the stereo.
A few people cheer when he walks in, some boys from the basketball team, including Tommy, chanting “Bil-ly, Bil-ly, Bil-ly!” He revels in the attention, soaks it up like California soil soaks up a rare rain.
He isn’t there for any longer than ten minutes before Tommy’s dragging him to the backyard to do a kegstand. It’s become Billy’s signature. He’s done one at every party he’s been to, and every time, without fail, he manages to impress everyone there. It’s earned him the title of Keg King.
Billy finds himself a little disappointed with just how easy this town is. There’s no competition at all, he barely has to try in order to garner everyone’s attention. One small shift in his posture and suddenly all eyes are on him. It’s almost ridiculous.
Billy’s on the keg for a good forty-five seconds before he dismounts. Not his longest, at all, but it’s enough to bring the house down. Several people high five him or pat him on the back when he walks back inside the house. A few girls tug on him, say things in his ear that he barely hears. Some others try to stop him, but Billy’s not one for meaningless conversations, so he just heads straight for the kitchen, giving the occasional acknowledgement when someone calls his name.
Billy helps himself to a beer from the cooler on the table, then grabs some kids plate of nachos right from his hands because having nothing but beer in your stomach never bodes well. Tommy is still following him around, Billy notices when the guy says something to him about almost breaking someone’s record.
The two boys hang in the kitchen for a while, filling their faces stomachs with whatever they find on the designated snack table. Billy’s halfway through a second plate of nachos when, from the living room just outside, there’s a sudden uproar of cheers. Which is a bit surprising, since Billy was pretty sure he was the only interesting thing at this party.
“The hell is that about?” He asks Tommy, who’s busy stuffing his face with cheese balls he snagged from the pantry.
“Mayve they’re plaing thpin the botthle in there. Eiver that or thomeone puketh their guss ouw,” Tommy replies through a mouthful of cheese balls. Billy’s able to make out what’s probably “spin the bottle” and “puked their guts out” from Tommy’s muffled words.
Tommy says something else that makes bits of cheese balls go flying out from his mouth towards Billy, the latter only just able to dodge it. Billy’s face scrunches in disgust. “Don’t talk with your mouth full, man!”
Tommy ends up spitting more food out his mouth, but before Billy can ridicule him any further, the kitchen door flies open.
The guy who comes through is someone Billy’s never seen before. He knows, because he’s absolutely certain that someone like this would’ve caught his eye. The guy looks way different from all these other hicks. Sticks out like a sore thumb in his leather jacket, long slicked back brown hair, and smudged eyeliner.
He meets Billy’s eye almost immediately after entering the space. He holds his gaze, flicks it up and down Billy’s body with a curious little tilt to his head. His stare is intense, and Billy can feel his skin practically melting. Billy sharpens his own eyes, completes the look with a mean wag of his tongue. The guy has the audacity, the nerve to huff a laugh at Billy.
Billy hates him.
Their staring contest is cut short by Tommy giving a loud obnoxious whoop. The guy’s eyes leave Billy’s to look over at him, and Billy instantly feels colder, somehow. “Well look here! If it isn’t the return of the king!” Tommy yells, unmuffled this time. “Or should I say, the former king,” he throws an arm around Billy’s shoulders, giving him a shake. Billy has to stop himself from elbowing Tommy in the stomach.
The guy raises an eyebrow, challenging. “Oh, really,” he says as he walks to the cooler and grabs a beer bottle. “Someone took my title while I was gone?” The guy pops the bottle cap with his teeth and takes a long sip. He’s a show-off, then.
“Sure did,” Tommy replies. He goes on to brag about Billy to this guy like some proud mother. Billy tunes him out almost entirely, choosing instead to observe more of this supposed “king” clad in leather.
The jacket he wears is covered in patches and pins. On the front, Billy spots that iconic triangle with a rainbow shooting out of it. Next to it is a white brick patterned pin with the words “The Wall” on it in red. Underneath that is a pig, and on the other side there’s pink swirly words that read “Pink Floyd”. Clearly the guy is a Pink Floyd fan. Among other things, Billy sees, as there’s several Mötley Crüe patches, a few AC/DC ones, some for Queen and some for KISS, and when the guy turns around just slightly, he sees one large patch for the band Heart across the shoulders.
Billy has to admit, Pink— he chooses to refer to the guy as “Pink” since it seems the most fitting, also because he doesn’t really care to learn his name— has a good taste in music.
“Really?” Pink is saying when Billy zones back in.
Pink looks directly at him with those dark lined eyes, and Billy realizes that he missed more than half of the conversation. He’s not going to admit that obviously, so he plays along, replies with “That’s right,” and adds a mean smirk to seal the deal.
Pink hums, looking somewhat amused. He approaches Billy slowly, all cocky-like, like he’s already got it ingrained in his head that he’s better than Billy, even though he’s only known him for roughly a minute. It makes Billy seethe, makes him want to wipe that dumb smug look right off his pretty little face.
Pink stops when he’s a few feet in front of Billy. “Where you from, Big Guy?”
“California,” Billy answers simply, stepping forward a foot himself. He can play this little intimidation game, too. He can growl deeper, bark louder, if he wants. But for now, he’s just testing the waters.
“California, huh? They know how to party over there?”
“Better than any of you hicks can, that’s for sure.” Billy hopes the insult gets to Pink’s head. If it does, Pink doesn’t show it, instead he smiles and bites his bottom lip. Then he tilts his head again, as if considering something.
“What was your time again?” He asks.
“Forty five.” Billy narrows his eyes, steps even closer until their faces are only half a foot apart. He revels in the fact that it makes Pink shuffle back just a bit. “Why,” Billy continues, “you think you can beat my time, Pretty Boy? Bet you wouldn’t even last half that.”
“Oh, yeah, California? Wanna try me?” It’s infuriating, just how sure of himself he sounds.
Any further conversation is once again cut off by Tommy’s annoying self. “Hell yeah, looks like we got ourselves a competition here! A rivalry in the making!” He looks between the two of them, overexcited and practically bouncing. “You guys have to face off on the keg now, I think I’ll die if I don’t see it!”
Billy looks Pink up and down, drags his tongue across his teeth, then raises his chin. “I’m up for a challenge.”
It only takes Tommy about a minute to gather a crowd outside in the backyard, nearly everyone at the party surrounding the two kegs. Across from Billy, he sees Pink fucking stretching like he’s about to do a high jump for the Olympics. The spotter next to him is talking, probably hyping him up like Tommy is doing to Billy right now.
“You’ve got this man. Now, he’s pretty good with kegstands. Really good, actually. Actually, he’s amazing–”
“Some fucking pep talk, Freckles.”
“Right, sorry. He’s good, but you can beat him. I have faith in you man!”
Some guy with a megaphone counts them down before shouting, “Go!” Tommy quickly catches and holds Billy’s legs when he kicks them up, Pink’s spotter doing the same. The valve is released and cold beer fills Billy’s mouth.
The crowd around them cheers, simultaneously counting out the seconds. Billy is vaguely aware of what number they’re on, but at some point he knows that they’re past forty five. Blood is rushing to Billy’s head and his arms are just barely beginning to shake. He wants to go longer, but he can feel himself browning out, and Tommy is getting tired holding his legs up for so long. Billy lets out a grunt loud enough for Tommy to hear, signaling for him to drop his legs. Some of the crowd cheers for him as he dismounts, some letting out sounds of disappointment, which confuses Billy until he sees.
Pink is still on the keg. “Fifty seven! Fifty eight! Fifty nine!” The audience is chanting, and when Pink finally dismounts at sixty seconds, they scream for him. Pink shakes his head like a wet dog, his long hair coming loose from it’s slicked back style and falling forward on his face. He rakes the strands back into position with his hands, grinning triumphantly as he does it. And then, with both hands still in his hair, Pink looks up to meet Billy’s eye for the nth time tonight. And his smile gets cockier, somehow. And he sticks his tongue out. And he fucking winks at Billy.
“Don’t worry, bud, you’ll get him next time,” Billy hears Tommy saying as he pats him on the back.
“Whatever,” Billy replies quickly. Feeling the sudden urge to get the hell out of there, Billy shakes Tommy’s hand off him before walking right through the house, weaving through the few people who chose to remain inside, until he’s standing on the front porch.
No one else is there, thankfully. Billy finds and sits on a swing at the end of the porch, rocking it with a leg on the ground. He breathes in and out, heavy, just once, before he pulls out a cigarette from his pocket and lights it. The noise from the backyard is fading, the crowd beginning to disperse back throughout the house once they’ve had their fill of entertainment.
Billy isn’t pissed about loosing a keg race. If anything, he’s impressed that someone here in the middle of bumfuck nowhere can not only match up to him, but beat him.
No, what he’s pissed about, is stupid fucking Pretty Boy Pink showing up out of nowhere in his stupid fucking eyeliner and his stupid fucking jacket with his stupid fucking rock band patches, acting like he’s the fucking shit, like he’s cock of the goddamn walk.
What he’s even more pissed about, is this unexplainable pull that he feels toward Pink.
Billy tried to ignore it, tried not to acknowledge it when those dark eyes seemed to pierce him and catch on him like a fish hook, reeled him in before tossing him back out to sea. He tried not to acknowledge it when Pink stepped close to him with a fire burning hot, a fire nearly merging with Billy’s own before it flickered when Billy moved even closer.
And when Pink looked up at him from across the kegs, when he stuck his tongue out and winked at him with an arrogance that could mirror Billy’s own, that pull grew stronger.
It’s goddamn exasperating, the way that this guy that Billy just met is able to make him feel so intensely. It’s new and it’s terrible and Billy would much rather go back to being numb.
Billy shuts his eyes and forces himself to relax against the bench. He rocks the swing using just a leg, listening to the sounds surrounding him instead of his own thoughts. The music from inside the house is blaring loudly. It's surprising that none of the neighbors have called a noise complaint yet. There's some laughing and loud talking mixing together to form a sort of white noise. It's oddly soothing. Then, over the background noise of the party raging on, Billy hears the sound of the front door opening and shutting, then footsteps on creaky wood heading right towards him. When Billy opens his eyes with a frown, he sees that cocky little bastard standing right in front of him with his hands in his pockets.
“Can I fucking help you?” Billy snaps.
"Maybe. Doubt it." Pink says, taking a few steps closer. He keeps his eyes on Billy’s, and Billy wonders briefly if Pink has some sort of thing for heavy eye contact, if he smears eyeliner around his eyes to draw attention to them. Then he lifts his leg, places his boot on the bench right next to Billy’s thigh, making the bench sway back slightly. Billy looks down pointedly at the boot before looking back up at Pink with a raised eyebrow.
Pink doesn’t give any explanation as he leans forward and bends down. Billy starts to feel that pull again. Then Pink reaches into the cuff of his jeans and pulls out a cigarette, places it in between his strawberry pink lips.
And then he’s leaning forward again. Getting closer to Billy’s face with every inch. Billy can only watch in anticipation, but for what, he’s not sure. When Pink stops, he’s close enough for Billy to notice that his eyes are a lighter brown than what they appear to be from afar.
Pink steadies his cigarette, touches the tip of it to the cherry of the lit cigarette between Billy’s own lips. Holds it there. Holds his gaze. Billy feels his breath catch in his throat.
After lighting his smoke, Pink pulls back just enough to blow smoke into Billy’s face. “Gotta admit, you were pretty good back there, California. You almost gave me a run for my money.” He chuckles, unsweet. “Hope I didn’t hurt your pride.”
There’s a lot of things here that Billy could do right now. Billy could land a left hook right on Pink’s jaw. He could push him away, he could threaten him and call him a million vile things. But Billy knows the game Pink is playing. He knows it very well. And he refuses to let the bastard think he’s got the upper hand.
So Billy grabs the foot still perched next to his thigh by the ankle and squeezes it tight, quickly yanking Pink forward by the leg. That smug face he wears falls almost immediately, replaced by a wide eyed panic as he fumbles to brace himself against the back of the bench.
“Don’t worry about my pride, Doll,” Billy whispers dangerously into Pink’s ear, “It’s doing just fine.”
Billy feels Pink shudder, and he so desperately wishes to see the expression on his face. Pink makes a fairly quick recovery, however, and straightens himself out before Billy can taunt him. What he does next, though, is something Billy never would’ve imagined.
He places his foot right in between Billy’s thighs, moves it up so that the toe of his boot is putting just the slightest bit of pressure on his crotch. Oddly, it feels great, and Billy has to suppress a groan at the contact, has to will his dick to not react, only just barely succeeding. It gets increasingly harder to control, however, when Pink leans forward, putting more weight on his foot. Billy gasps and tries to move back to relieve some of the pressure, but he's too far back against the bench to move any further.
Pinks eyes flick down to where his boot is practically torturing Billy. There's a flash of a smile, a bite of his bottom lip as he presses the toe of his boot down, eliciting a grunt from Billy's throat. “I bet,” he breathes, matching the tone Billy had previously.
A chill runs straight down Billy's spine, shooting through his arms and legs until every part of him is tingling with a sensation he can't say he's felt before.
"Maybe next time you'll bring some of that fire Tommy was telling me about." That boot nudges up even further against Billy's crotch. Before, it could've been taken as a threat, meant to intimidate Billy from climbing the Hawkins High food chain any higher. But now.
Now Billy sees it for what it really is.
Billy tries to keep his voice even, but it comes out breathy, even to his own ears, as he says, "You're awful brave for a small town boy, you know that?"
Pink ducks his head, his hair falling forward as he chuckles to himself. A joke that only he understands, it seems. "You have no idea, Big Guy."
"Really?" Billy is starting to feel a little ballsy himself. Despite this, and much to his own chagrin, he's still tentative when he lifts a hand and wraps his fingers once again around Pink's ankle. He simply holds it there, not pulling or pushing. "Almost makes me wanna see just how brave you really are.
Pink grins around his cigarette, but before he can say anything else, a flash of red and blue lights come down the street, stopping just in front of the house. Someone inside yells "Five-O!"
"Shit." Pink takes his boot off Billy's crotch, the latter nearly hissing at the loss of contact. "Time to get the hell outta Dodge." He tosses his cigarette before hastily climbing over the bench to jump off the side of the porch. His manner is very ungraceful and clumsy, and he nearly trips several times trying to get over the bench as it sways with his movement, despite Billy trying to steady it for him. When he lands on the other side of the porch about three feet down, he stumbles and falls, looking like a newborn deer trying to learn to walk. Pink gets up fast, though, dusts himself off and runs a hand through his out of place hair. He turns around, gives Billy a two finger solute. "Catch ya later, California!" And he's taking off, crossing a lawn and turning around the nearby street corner.
Billy doesn't stick around for much longer after, making his own exit by jumping over the side of the porch as well, though he's much more solid on his feet than Pink.
He's just half the distance to the Camaro parked across the street when someone calls behind him, "Hey, kid!" Billy turns carefully, seeing a tall fat man with a mustache next to a police cruiser.
Even though he hasn't done anything wrong, Billy feels the strong urge to take off. He can't get in trouble with the police. There's no telling what his dad would do if he has to come pick Billy up from the police department.
"You're new in town, right? Family just moved here?" The cop asks from across the street.
"Stay outta trouble," the cop says before turning to walk up the porch steps and knock on the front door.
There's a loud revving down the street, even louder than his own car. A motorcycle comes speeding around the corner and down the street, the rider waving at Billy as they pass him. Despite the helmet obscuring their face, Billy has no question as to who it is.
And as he watches him ride further down the road, that Heart patch across his shoulders getting smaller and smaller in the distance, Billy thinks to himself, it's too late.
He's already in so much trouble.
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Nakahara Chuuya SFW alphabet!
Hey hey guess what this also wasn’t requested and I wrote most of it in a biology exam uwu
Gender neutral S/O!
Discord: come join! We’d love to see you there! If the link doesn’t work, feel free to dm for another!
Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?
He’s secretly really cuddly and just really loves to sit on the sofa and cuddle with his S/O because feeling them there, leaning against him comforts him. Feeling their heartbeat as he rests his head on their chest soothes him and reminds him that he’s human, that he deserves to have good things too.
Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?
The first time he ever looked at his S/O, the first thing in his mind was “my god, they’re stunning” and getting to spend time with them made him realise that not only did they look amazing, but they’re also an amazing person. He loves everything about them, big or small, and he won’t ever hesitate to tell them that.
Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?
He’s one of the few people who can actually cook and make it edible, so he makes his S/O’s comfort foods. While he’s a brilliant cuddler (seriously, he snuggles so closely to his S/O and just holds them so gently yet firm aaaa), he understands that sometimes people don’t wanna be touched, so he asks. If they don’t feel like being touched, then he just sits by them and does whatever they want to do.
Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?
Away from the mafia, surprisingly. Listen, I don’t think he likes this life as much as others do. He wants to be safe with his S/O, not worrying about someone coming for them because the mafia pissed off a rival group, or thinking he won’t come home because he’s forced to use Corruption. He wants to live freely with his S/O, maybe by the beach or near the woods.
Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
Eh, 50/50. He doesn’t care much about being dominant, but he does have some issues with toxic masculinity so he’s not really passive either.
Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?
In the heat of the moment, he gets really angry and says a few things that he doesn’t truly mean, but he’s very quick to apologise, especially if he sees that his S/O is upset. If his S/O is the kind of person to get angry too he might leave to take a walk but he’ll always come back to bury his face in his S/O’s neck.
Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?
Incredibly grateful. He knows he’s not the easiest guy to live with - he’s easily irritated, he can be real loud, and he has a lot of pain from being in the mafia, so the fact that his S/O can stay with him even through all that means the world to him.
Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?
He tries his goddamn hardest not to, but every now and then something will slip his mind. It’s not his fault, he just gets really tired after work and can’t talk about everything. I feel like he wouldn’t go into gorey detail, even if his S/O worked at the Port with him.
Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?
They gave him a way to calm down - thinking about their arms around him and their face buried in his neck instantly soothes him and stops him from going full rage mode when someone mentions his height.
Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?
He does, but he tries to hide it as best as he can. He doesn’t want to scare his S/O away just because someone didn’t realise they were together. If the person is getting a little handsy or making his S/O uncomfortable in anyway he’s not above breaking their nose as he pulls his S/O away to go home.
Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?
As long as he’s not intoxicated, yeah. His kisses are sweet and soft, his hands resting on his S/O’s waist. He’s warm and comforting as he pulls them closer, pulling away to rest their foreheads together. The first kiss was kinda rushed and sloppy; it had been after a rough mission. He’d gone to his S/O’s place and near enough crashed into their arms, asking quietly if he could kiss them. They’d said yes, and he had his arms around their waist quicker than they could register. He was needy, holding them as close as he physically could as he sighed happily. It wasn’t the best kiss he could’ve given them, but in that moment it was perfect.
Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?
He isn’t called the fancy hat rack for nothing - mans was dressed to the nines and had a reservation for the best restaurant in Yokohama. It’s easy to see that he was incredibly nervous; he kept rubbing the back of his neck and his hands were really sweaty, but it was still sweet and cute.
Marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?
I don’t think he really cares much for marriage - sure, it would be nice to yell “that’s my spouse” whenever they do something cool but other than that he’s not too fussed. Of course if his S/O wants to get married he’ll agree because hey cool rings and a chance to sob at how gorgeous his S/O is without being judged.
Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?
Like most other writers for Chuuya, I think he’d call his S/O “dove” or something along those lines. No idea where it came from or what reason he would have for saying it but,, he does.
On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?
He tries so hard to make it not obvious but just one look at him can confirm any and all suspicions. He really isn’t as subtle as he likes to think he is, but he does try!
PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?
No. He gets jealous pretty easily and as great as his S/O is, he doesn’t want to make them uncomfortable by flaunting them around or going on about every little thing. However, he really doesn’t shy away from PDA unless his S/O doesn’t want it. He’ll kiss them randomly whenever he gets the chance because some part of him is still in such disbelief that they’re actually by his side.
Quirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.
Chuuya’s really great at hugging people. Now, it might just be me being touch starved, but I imagine his hugs as the kind that nobody can escape from. Once he sees his target, he just latches on and never lets go, especially when he’s tired. His hugs are the kind that are so comforting but you can never properly put your finger on why, but when he’s so close and so warm there’s no need to pinpoint the exact reason for the waves of calm that rush over you as you fall asleep with him.
Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?
Oh my fucking god he’s so cliche, but he doesn’t realise that it’s cheesy and cliche until someone points it out to him and he gets so insecure but the second his S/O starts reassuring him he’s grabbing more rose petals and fancy wine.
Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?
If his S/O wanted him to he’d probably make a 100 slide power point on how they can do it and how they’re worth everything to him. Scratch that, he’d do it anyway on a whim because he got so frustrated with not being able to properly express how much he adores his S/O.
Try - How much effort do they put into the relationship?
So much omg- Not like,,, insane levels but he tries his hardest okay
Understanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?
At first, he’s not the best at empathy because he hasn’t been shown all that much in his life other than his S/O, but he’ll do anything to let his S/O know that he cares for them and that he loves them. As far as tells go, he picks up on them quite easily but only once he’s in an actual relationship, he’s kinda shit at picking up on things in friends. Like he knows that something’s up but he doesn’t do anything about it because he doesn’t know how to approach it y’know?
Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?
The relationship is incredibly important to him, not just because he knows his S/O is the only person who’s gonna fully put up with his shit but because he knows they’re the greatest good he’s ever gonna get. Nobody could ever even dream of measuring up to them and he knows that.
Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.
He really is a fantastic cuddler. When he’s had a long day at work, he just goes up to his S/O and holds them. Like just has them in his arms, his face either smushed in their hair or nestled in their neck depending on how tall they are.
XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?
Yearning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?
He gets grumpier than usual and it scares most of the mafia underlings. When work is done and he gets home he lays on top of his S/O on the sofa, talking about literally anything while they run their fingers through his hair.
Zeal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?
He’s all or nothing baby.
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AH ChitChat Notes 3 22 21
Chitchat 32221 with Jeremy , michael and matt ft disembodied voices of lindsay and maybe kaden , gus in chat and joins
Jeremy: Kaden spoke up because of donuts earlier… Michael: Jacks time is over now… but he will be on stream later. Jeremy: oh yeah schedule. Slight last minute changes doing Fall Guys first cuz S4 came out… me michael lindsay and matt did a letsplay in it earlier today … gus will be doing fall guys this stream (eyyy)... oh yeah and i wanna impersonate what jack does. Matt: do it. Jeremy: and if you're watching on the site we can see your chat like FatHippoHippo wrote BET in all capitals … yeah i just wanted to get into the spirit and be like “what would jack do, what would he think is funny” and that was it. Lindsay: alsoone of those WWJD bracelets from the 90s What Would Jack Do… (matt: ive repurposed them) Jeremy: so how are you doing? Lindsay: good weekend i guess , just telling Matt we watched Big Hero 6 yesterday (Jeremy: aw hell yell) still an awesome movie , kids loved it. Jeremy: where they scared of - idk if he has a name the kabuki villain… *looking it up* apparently its Yokai… guess they never really say it cuz that's generic. Lindsay: that's VERY generic. Michael: IVE GOT TO TAKE THIS CALL *facecam becomes void* Jeremy: ok spoiler alert for Big Hero 6 but just looking at the wiki… it makes an audacious claim. It says “professor robert calahan OR ALSO BETTER KNOW as his villain name Yokai”... is it? Lindsay: well its based on a comic right so i guess canonically he has a name…. But to answer your question No they werent scared … anyway something we noticed upon rewatching is that 2 characters before a MAJOR event happens to the fistbump… but DON'T do the explosion… like oooohhh foreshadowing. Michael: not really foreshadowing if they keep doing it throughout the movie , if anything its foreshadowing that like… hell… whats the robots name - baymax learning it… not really foreshadowing the building explodes (gen notes MAJOR EVENT) … what blew my mind was that movie has a post credits scene. Jeremy: oh yeah was it like with the dudes father. Michael: Fred yeah! Remember remarking upon them entering the house theres a portrait of the dad and i just went “his dads just Stan Lee… just a portrait of him” Post credits scene and guys talking to painting and - wasn't paying attention but he like hits his head on it and the wall opens up to show a superhero room with paraphernalia everywhere and Stan Lee walks in like “son we got a lot to talk about” Jeremy: Chat asking about if i watched the wrestling PayPerView… remember how i updated you last that the guy died in the ring after being set on fire (Michael: lemme guess hes a zombie now) - yep exactly last night a hand reached up and grabbed someones leg , he came out of the smoke with a melted messed up mask so yeah…. Hes a furry (i think?) zombie clown Michael: hey wait a minute let me read the chat , someone named Gus said “whoa no idea there was a post credit scene” “what is a fastfood restaurant combo wish would open” Lindsay: Miss my KenTaco Hutt… Michael: idk im usually just in the mood for SOMETHING , not looking to combine , only time is when i want a certain food and they don't have the same sides i want other places have . like Sonic is amazing for sides , apps and drinks… don't care for entrees , but if i could get Sonic sides at McDonalds or Taco bell or something.. Jeremy: guess in the same vein id combine Dairy Queen with a lot of places (Matt: i was about to say) to get a BLIZZARD with whatever. Matt: that's how it usually goes anyway , you get the food , you drive by the Dairy Queen and get a desert - you don't get the food at Dairy Queen cuz why - just why Lindsay: i mean theres icecream but there isnt really fastfood places for other deserts… like theres not really a Cake or Cupcake place (Matt: not yet *tilts head at camera like “you know what i want”* ) there IS the cupcake ATM Matt: alright checking the google… Michael: Matts checking the driving distance. Jeremy: another questions whil matts looking up cakes (Matt: oh i already have it) nevermind then. Conware asks “what is your fave controller for console and whats fave controller you own” Jeremy: Idk really… i know for a while everyones was the Elite 2 Michael: yeah just most comfortable. Matt: well that's like a specialty type… if its a stock one then the switch pro controller is pretty good. Michael: i mean i also have this 8Bit do SNES bluetooth controller thing , love it Lindsay: i love the nintendo switch controller grip… makes it feel like it curves comfy around your palms Jeremy: the XBOX sea of thieves one is great (Matt: i was about to say…) got a glow in the dark skull in the middle , RT is like a gold tooth , is partly see through Matt: and it comes with some exclusive stuff for Sea of Thieves Lindsay: yeah like Motion Sickness. Matt: i got one that's just a donut. Lindsay: gave me an idea… you know how theres Pez Dispensers (matt: heard of them) yeah and how you don't really even use them right you just eat the candy and play with the thing ( *matt nods approvingly* yeah about right) what if we invent a controller where every once in a while it opens up to give a snack. (Matt: yeah like everytime you get an achievement, Jeremy: yeah i did good! Just go up to the controller and eat it) “You Are Good Boy” Matt: be funnier if it just throws at you “everyone have a fave seasons and followup do you like seasons where you grew up or where you are now?” Jeremy: i mean springs probably my fave its easy to be outside , not boiling hot nor snow everywhere… great time to camp and fish , falls cool with changing colors… texas is like “do you want REALLY hot or hot?” Michael: i do really like Fall on the East Coast but its like - yeah i miss it and its nice to be there when it happens where its light jacket weather. I used to wear sweatshirts all the time - i don't bother with long sleeves in texas cuz i know im taking it off within 30 min… never knew about the Water Cup thing until i lived in texas where restaurants just HAVE water cups… blew my mind its free - because people will drop dead . noticed they just have this seperate stack of clear cups which is i guess like “i BETTER not see any soda in that cup THAT'S A WATER CUP!”. I don't like it when its 105 degrees but i do like being able to just wear Tshirts most of the year and not dealing with snow Lindsay: i like Fall the most cuz like its blend of i guess i embrace the basic bitch stereo types of fall , want my pumpkin spice latee but ALSO i know halloween is coming and ive said before how THAT'S like my religious holiday so like… i come alive. Matt: probably fall , maybe winter. I don't go out much but fall is like the right amount of cool but not TOO cool. Jeremy: over the weekend me and kat went to a town called rockfort (i think?) which is like right on the ocean , the weather was a little cold for it , like 50 maybe and the sea breeze made it chillier… im not really a beach person just more water. You say beach and you think like Boogie Boarding Bros (Michael: whoooaah boogie. Lindsay: beach volleyball) yeah .. id reather be on a rocky shore than a sandy beach. Michael: youd rather be like a mermaid sitting on the rocks *jeremy laughs loud* is that what you're saying Jeremy: yeah Matt: attracting sailors to their DOOM Lindsay: i gotta send you a link but theres this one TikTokker i guess that i watch that talks about that an eastern european beach she went to and was like “i cant wait to go on my beach outting yeah!” and she gets there its rocky , really windy , noones there and goes “ooh its really cold” Matt: depends the kind of beach to me… for me East Coast beaches SUCK *jeremy nods yep* its water you cant see anything in its terrible Lindsay: that's also texas beaches , all brown. Matt: its just one of those things where you get in the water and your like “ok… at anymoment i could be attacked by everything around me” Michael: well that can happen on land too matt (Gen Notes WELCOHME TA JOISEY!!!) (paraphrasing jeremy here) Jeremy: theres this guy who flys a drone out over beaches into the ocean , and he released the footage… apparently due to there being a lot less people now theres just Great White Sharks that go relatively close to beaches now… there are times where hes filming people playing and like 10 ft away is a fucking shark ya know just swimming. And cuz they're really far away hed be like “id see it , film it , then go to a lifeguard and show it like “oh btw…” “ Michael: so you know 2 hours ago someone may have been eaten. MattL he should put a speaker on the drone to like announce the sharks like HEY! DEATH OUT THERE!. Lindsay: “whats that Dronie? Theres a shark in the water?!?” Jeremy: and it was funny seeing that behavior where everyonce and a while a shark would be swimming then someone would do something near it not seeing the shark and the shark just goes “fuck dat” and swims away MattL god dude…. So close to death *gus joins* Lindsay: oh you're the guy who was like Texas beaches have Tar Gus: oh yeah i grew up in texas and i thought all beaches were like that just “oh you don't sit on the tar”
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sk8 boys would reacting to you pulling them in by their belt
synopsis: you pulling the sk8 babes in by their belts for a kiss
pairings: joe x reader, cherry x reader, reki x reader, langa x reader
warnings: kissing, suggestive themes, swearing
notes: not me just seeing this tiktok trend ...but thoughts are being thunk...❤️ also, i apologize in advance for any grammatical/spelling errors
word count: 1,930
this flirty ass b*tch 😒
he thinks he’s so smooth...and he is!
i see y’all bar hopping in the early talking stages of your relationship
so you’re seated the bar and you’re kinda annoyed because maybe there are a couple girls who come up to him and offer to buy him a drink? (of course they would, have you seen how he’s built?)
BUT THAT’S NOT EVEN THE BAD PART
this mf get’s up from his stool and starts FLIRTING BACK?? AND YOU’RE JUST SITTING THERE LIKE —🧍♀️
but then he turns back to you and see’s the displeased look on your face.
cue joe nervously laughing and gently shooing the other girls away
but you’re already pissed bc like? the nerve of him? and in front of you??
you stare straight past him, leaning your elbow up on the bar table as he stands in front of you. babbling out apologies(?)
if you can even call them that?
“babe, i’m sorry! you know it’s force of habit! i didn’t even get to see what they looked like! and they were being nice! what was I supposed to do? tell them to get gone? i was just being polite to them, i’m a feminist after all 😏—”
you feel like you’re getting dumber just listening to him
so you kinda tilt your head to look at him and let your hands settle on the front of his belt
his voice kinda tilts? like it slightly gets a just a bit higher ?
before he can even make a smart ass remark, you firmly tug him towards you and kiss him
he hums in surprise before chuckling into the kiss and bringing his warm, calloused hands up to your face
he pulls away and quickly pecks at your lips before playfully outing
“oof, so mean”
“but you like that” you reply before kissing him again
meanwhile, the bartender is watching yall like “😐😑😐”
like with joe, i imagine you pulling this stunt off in the beginning of your relationship
you and reki are in the little workshop behind his house doing normal relationship stuff
you know, reki working on a skateboard repair while you lovingly admire his side profile...yea ❤️
he’s so absorbed in his work, his eyebrows are furrowed every so slightly, and he’ll randomly clench his jaw and WOWOWOW HE LOOK SO GOOD!
you feel so blessed just being able to take this sight in
you’re watching him intently with your elbows propped up on the table and your face resting between your hands
reki’s in the middle of tightening the screws when he notices you looking out of his peripheral vision
he glances over to you and sees you staring at him
have y’all seen that meme of meghan markle at her wedding looking up at harry?
YEA, YEA you’re literally looking up at reki like that
and boy does reki get FLUSTERED
he tries to act cool about catching you staring but baby is blushing way too hard
“w-what?”, reki mentally kicks himself for stammering as he returns his focus to the skateboard
“you look really hot right now”
reki damn near chokes and his face gets even more red (if that’s even possible)
he turns his back to you to reach for a wrench on the wall adjacent to him
but he's trynna hide how hard he's blushing uwu
you're laughing now and the melodic sound makes the tension in reki’s shoulders dissipate
yea...y’all are whipped for each other
reki is pouting with his back to you, still “looking” for his wrench
when all of sudden, he feels your hands settle on his waist, urging him to turn around
"rekiiiiii", you playfully whine. "i can't admire my boyfriend?"
he's turning around to tell you that he's busy, but then your fingers hook onto his belt
and before his brain can compute what's happening, you're sharply tugging his belt and your mouth is on his, hot and heavy
and reki moans
and it's so high-pitched and so earnest and so loud, you almost want to giggle
but then his knees buckle and he kinda collapses forward into you
so y'all both kinda shuffle back, but reki manages to catch himself by wrapping his arms around you for support
you're about to pull away to ask if he's okay, but then he brings one hand up to your face and parts his mouth
and when you gasp against his mouth, he feels slightly relieved knowing his dignity has been saved somehow
reki pulls away first, panting, and rests his forehead against your collarbone, trying to hide his face again
"you suck" he murmurs into your chest, slightly dizzy
you hum contentedly, combing his hair back before kissing the top of his head
first of all, this mf is an aries (just when i thought he couldn’t get sexier)
and aries men...🥴
basically, you have to do a lot to actually fluster this man
so let’s say he takes you with him for a two-day work trip on a nearby island
while he works with his clients during the day, you busy yourself by wandering around the hotel or walking along the beach
basically, the only time the two of you have together is in the evening
it’s your last night before y’all have to return to okinawa
kaoru tells you to get dressed and takes you out to this expensive ass restaurant and he’s sooooo f*cking romantic
the love in his eyes,,,, his soft ass smile as he watches you ramble in between taking sips from your wine glass
he’s looking at you as you’re personally responsible for the sun rising each day
i mean, you could’ve been talking about how you saw a crab on the beach that was missing a leg, and kaoru would just be like “tell me more bby 🥰😍”
when y’all make it back to the hotel, you’re both a little tipsy (kaoru is more so buzzed)
you’re holding onto kaoru’s arm as you both take the elevator up to your hotel room
kaoru feels you slightly sway against him and he leans over to kiss the top of your head
“you alright, darling?” he murmurs into your hair
he takes your hand in his and runs the pad of his thumb over the back of your hand
and he does all of this while his lips are pressed against the top of your head— SIR PLS ✋😩
it’s an chaste act and you know he’s genuinely concerned but after two glasses of wine, your brain is just—🥴
hornknee thoughts only 😩💯
sloppily, you wiggle out of kaoru’s embrace before centering yourself in front of him with your hands placed on his chest
at your action, kaoru’s eyebrow raises ever so slightly but he keeps silent, slightly amused
“you’re so f*cking fine” you murmur, slightly smoothing your hands over kaoru’s chest, staring him right in eye
“yea, and you don’t even try. What’s that like?”
by now, kaoru’s softly smiling. “what’s what like, my love?”
“what’s it like to be so hot without even trying?”
and before ol boy can even reply to that, your hands find his belt before firmly pulling him in for a kiss
kaoru hums at the sudden jolt but then sighs appreciatively through his nose and wastes no time parting his mouth for you
b*tch, you’re the one who’s moaning skxhsnwje
still kissing you, he smooths your hair back with one hand before grabbing a fistful of your hair
he firmly yanks your hair back and deepens the kiss, and you just— 🤸♀️
the moan that elicits from you, is OTHERWORLDY
you feel the elevator roll to a stop
kaoru pulls back with a grin on his face and so much love in his eyes that you’re tempted to go in for round two
but then the elevator door slides open and he grabs your hand, tugging you into the hallways
as he leads you to the hotel room, kaoru slightly turns his head back to smile at you, with the same amount of love in his eyes
i feel like langa may get flustered as easily as reki might, but he’s manages to be a lot more cool about it
which kinda drives you up the wall? you just wanna see your boyfriend embarrassed for once
all he does is slightly blush with a straight face and glance away
so let’s say he’s walking you home after you, him, and reki were hanging about at a skatepark
the sun had already set and langa is walking beside you with his skateboard under one arm.
the walk is pretty silent, but it’s a comfortable silence. langa finds that he and you can soak up each other’s presence without having to say a word
you see him jolt out of your peripheral vision and you’re like ???
before you can glance over and ask if he’s okay, he quickly grabs your hand
you glance up at him, confused, and he simply replies “i forgot to hold your hand, sorry”
fighting back the urge to laugh, you squeeze his hand and tell him it’s fine
both of you share a soft smile, before the easy silence continues for the rest of the walk
when y’all arrive on your porch steps, you turn to him and thank him for walking you home
langa assures you it’s no problem before saying goodnight
he’s turns around and takes a couple steps away, when you clear your throat
he glances back at you, quizzically
you’re standing on the porch step, with your hands behind your back.
there’s a mischievous glint in your eyes
“aren’t you forgetting something?” you playfully chide him
you can literally see the gears turning in langa’s head
“...did you want me to walk you to your bedroom?”
you can’t help the laughter that bubbles out of you, and langa feels his cheeks reddened slightly
“angel, no. I meant a goodnight kiss?”
his brows furrowed slightly as he determinedly making his way over to you
as he’s making his way over, an idea pops into your head and you kinda “>:3”
when langa is standing in front of you, your hands grip onto his belt and you yank him into a kiss
bby boy almost drops his skateboard
he quickly inhaled through his nose before giving a stuttered moan and you smile into the kiss
you’re standing on the first step to your porch so the added height is giving you more access
BITE HIS MFIN LIP! he will gasp so prettily into your mouth
entranced, he keeps leaning more and more forward, that is, until the back of your foot hits the step behind you
stumbling backwards, you fall back and pull langa along right with you
you fall right on your ass, yelping as you knock foreheads with langa as he falls into you
so now, you’re both left moaning, gripping your foreheads
“are you okay?” langa asks you, dropping his hand from his forehead revealing a red mark
you begin to laugh at the sight of it and langa just stares at you, confused but slightly defensive
“your forehead is red” you giggle
“well yea, you slammed your forehead into mine”
“you slammed your forehead into mine” you give him a quick peck on his lip before smoothing his hair hair back
“that looks like it’s gonna bruise,” you murmur and press a kiss to his forehead “I’ll get you some ice, come inside”
end notes: i wanted to get this out in time for cherry’s bday!
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Due to my older brother having autism, I’ve always wanted to have a Peter and Lucy relationship. Any headcanons for my all time favorite sibling love? ☺️ Thank you!
Of course my darling! Here you go, I hope you’ll like it✨ Thank you for your patience and your trust angel💛
*gif is not mine !!
Peter and Lucy Pevensie’s relationship headcanons... ✨
Peter always calls his little sister “Lu”, and everyone knows she is in deep trouble if he calls her “Lucy Pevensie”.
They always make sure to spend time quality time together. As the Pevensies started their reign, they all got caught up in their new lifestyle, especially Peter as the High King and a person who puts a lot of pressure on himself. As time went on, Lucy felt lonely and missed spending time with her brother. After a messy fight between the two of them where she finally admitted she felt left behind and missed him, they decided that they would, from now on, always make sure to plan some quality time together.
On the nights where Lucy has terrible nightmares, she quickly gets up to run into her big brother’s room. Shaking his shoulder, “Pete… Peter… are you awake?” only to be answered by a grumpy mumble, with a little more shaking an answer would eventually come out “Mmmh… Now I am… What’s the matter?” “I just had the worst nightmare…” he immediately lifts the covers “Wanna sleep with me?” and she gladly jumps in with him.
Of course, she always ends up taking all the place in the bed and cuddling her brother all night so that the following morning he barely got any quality sleep, but to see his little sister feeling better is all that matters to him.
Whenever Peter gets too caught up in his mind, she is always there to deliver him from his thoughts and force him to take a well-deserved break.
On the days where it is councils over councils, talking about mundane matters for protocol, he would get incredibly bored. That is when his attentive little sister would make sure to make him laugh and smile a little extra, even secretly bringing him snacks.
They do a lot of silly pranks together, both hiding behind columns, playing those often on Susan or Mr.Beaver, laughing until they can’t breathe.
Whenever Peter comes back from a fight, Lucy particularly makes sure her brother is cared for. His big heart and selfless personality often make the golden boy forget and mistreat himself because he just wanted to give so much to others. After fights, she makes sure he is taking rest and being attended to.
On the nights where he is up till dawn in the library reading, trying to get in as much information as he can, she always forces him to go to bed.
If he has already fallen asleep on his books, she brings him a blanket and a pillow.
She wants him to know he deserves the same amount of love and dedication he gives to everybody else.
Even though Peter is incredibly protective of his little sister, he also firmly believes in her capacities to accomplish great things.
Every time she performs on an event of some sort, Peter is always boosting the hell out of her. He is her number one supporter and loves cheering on for her, whether it is about swords fighting, painting, dancing, or any little things.
“C’mon Lu you can do it!”
“You got this!”
There's a lot of shouting and clapping.
When in more official settings, he minds his manners of course, but not enough to prevent a smug smile to lift the corners of his mouth.
During councils, he always makes sure her opinions are heard and that she is not set aside.
He remembers gloomily the many times Lucy tried to bring a point to the table or just an alternative option to a situation that would end up causing so many death and harm. He wants to do his best so that never happens again.
In the other world, before they could get back in Narnia, any time Peter felt like he was losing hope he would go to Lucy, knowing he could rely on her unshakable faith.
Anytime Peter feels trapped in an unsolvable situation and feels frustrated, he goes to Lucy for advice.
She is calm and wise where he is action and impatience; they balance each other out wonderfully in that type of situation.
It is no secret; he is a protective brother when it comes to his little Lucy. He feels particularly entitled to her security and well-being.
As she grew up, he found it hard to understand she was a grown-up woman, able to take care of herself.
It did spark many small fights between the two of them, every time it ended with him apologizing and her understanding he was only doing this because he did not want her to get hurt.
After that, he started to do even more training and activities with her, boosting her confidence and encouraging her to be the best she could be.
He is also extremely protective of her when it comes to male attention.
At one point, it became too intense and inquired a serious discussion between them both as he had frightened to death a gentleman who wanted to dance with her majesty. He was incredibly sulky and acting like a stubborn mule when they discussed the matter. She succeeded in breaking his act and made him promise he would not do it again.
They did make a deal on him having a veto if he felt something was off; they shook hands on it. Even after that, he was protective, but more subtly, and gave his little sister the space she needed.
They love to go on walks in the country together, sometimes in the woods, other times on the beach or near a river to read a book.
They do not have to talk even though they love chatting together; they still enjoy and appreciate each other’s presence in the deepest of silence.
They do not fight a lot, and when it happens, it ends pretty quickly with one of them apologizing.
Even though Peter has a shining personality, he can get shy easily and prefers to hide in a royal and distant behavior when that happens. That is why Lucy always makes sure to break that façade and bring back her happy brother.
When he feels like he is a terrible king, Lucy takes on the role of the confidence booster. She encourages him to be confident and to have trust in his capacities.
She believes in him more than anyone else and knows he is a great king, always doing his best.
He does not particularly like to dance, and Lucy really does; she taught him all he knows and forces him to dance with her at least once at every ball.
He always tries to get out of it even though he secretly likes these shared dances with his sister.
When Lucy gets sick or does not feel good, he is taking extra care of her, making sure she is always attended to, that she has all of her favorite snacks.
Once, when it got pretty bad, he spent all night with her, even sending Edmund on one of his duty because he did not want to leave her. That day he spent most of the time, besides caring for her, reading her favorite books to her.
She loves his voice; it is one of her favorite things in the world.
Every time there is a silly fight between the three younger Pevensies and their older brother, their last resort is always to send in the charms of Lucy. He always caves in when she comes in, asking with a pout just like when she was a child.
They both admire the other so much.
Their relationship is one of the things they value the most. Even though it comes pretty naturally to them, they always put in the time and effort to keep it healthy and flourishing.
You know how some people have the chance to find one of their soul sisters (platonically speaking of course).
Well, Peter and Lucy Pevensie are without a doubt two people who had the luck of finding theirs.
a/n: there it was, my first ever request !! Again thanks to my good friend for sending it to me🥺 I hope you’ll like it and feel free to send me some requests, I love doing them☺
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Always by your side || Luke Patterson
Chapter four ~ I'll be watching you
people grow together through darkness. does this band will make it without their most important human being.
After years will everything keep the same?
Luke patterson x oc
"Sabrina was one of those people who always made me smile even in the darkest times. Loosing her feels like loosing a part of myself. She was the sun herself. Always a smile on the lips and a sass retort. Man she was a stubborn girl but always right. She'd gone places. We'd read her book or visit one of her championship. I haven't been on the beach since too many memories connected to It. Sometimes I look at the night sky and it feeds like she's looking down on me. She was never mine, but losing her broke my heart. But she was such a cheerful girl she'd be heated we're crying right now," he laughed.
He walked over to the music station and pressed play.
From the speaker Freddie Mercury began to sing who want to live forever.
"Let us keep her alive by hearing her music, by surfing these huge waves she'd loved, by writing down our thought and emotions, she'll be amazed what all of you are thinking."
Suddenly the music changes midways and Every breath you take echoed through the chapel.
"Okay that's strange" he mumbles to himself.
"Just don't forget about this incredible girl." He ends his thought and went to the front.
Alex mom leans over to her son and whispers "he'd loved her right?" Alex just nodded.
He stopped at her coffin and taped a sticker atop Sunset curve. Luke stumbles back to his seat.
Alex raised from his seat and walked to the lectern.
"First I wanna thank everyone for coming. And now let's start" his words fading at the end.
"Will is.." he stopped thinking about his words.
"Will was the best sister a guy could wished for-- She was a best friend, a sister and kind of a mother in one person, even with her sweet 16 years. Her jokes were the worst and her humor just horrible" the blonde let a sad laughter out, his friends joined this gesture.
"But truth to be told, she radiated happiness and calmness. Sabrina had an extraordinary mind which I'm going to miss"
As her name left his mouth the blonde looked to the front her eyes meeting his but he wasn't able to see her, this she learned the hard way.
Days after days she laid down beside her sleeping brother brushing strands of hair out of his face or sitting down at the table during dinner, her hand always brushing over his; maybe he didn't noticed or played it down. She didn't know she had to die to hear her real name from him.
"The last days I felt her presence but I must have imagined it. There was always a hand laying on my during dinner or a feeling someone's laying in my bed besides me"
"I met Robin and Grace telling them what happened. I am still sorry for you Luke..."
Oh no stop Lexi.
She heard the conversation about this, his words still ringing in her head.
She rushed to him and laid her arms around his waist holding him tight. Feeling his warmth, feels like home. His muscles tensed as he felt the touch.
Alex stopped in tracks and shuts his mouth. "I'm mostly sorry that everyone here lost this unique girl, friend, sister and loved one." His teeth grinding. A feeling of nausea floating his body.
He wanders back to his seat sighing as his butt hits the wood.
After hours of sobbing and constant crying the immediate family and friends gathered in the Mercer residence eating Sabrina's favourite cake and converse about all and sundry. The girl herself eavesdrop her brother and his friends in her room.
Since Alex and Luke exchanged their intense words the other day in there, Alex doesn't think of sleeping in his bed ever again.
In this moment the named boy laid on her bed with Luke and Reggie rested in her chair facing the boys.
"I wish I could lay here forever" Alex's voice low, no power left in his body. The other guys just sighed.
Sabrina winced at the sight of them. She moved to her skateboard and knocked it over. Their graze falling on the board. Alex's face went blank and pale, his jaw droped and Reggie even screamed in horror. Luke being himself his mouth curved into a smile.
"You know what this means"
"Someone's haunting us" Reggie’s voice shaking.
"I'm.. I'm not driving her boards" Alex argues.
"It's one thing sleeping in her bed but her boards. They were her babies" he added.
"It's going to be one time." Luke get off of her bed and opened her closet, taking her favourite shirts out.
"I'm not wearing her clothes neither." His laugh was shaking. As the words left his mouth he had a Queen shirt in his face.
This was my favourite thought the blonds.
"I want Billy" Reggie suggests Luke as he searched for the shirt.
The shaggy haired boy himself chose the shirt he bought her on one of the concerts they'd visited; AC/DC.
He undressed from his red and black squared jacket the blonde girl gifted him years ago.
Due to her passion she owns more than one skateboard which helped in this situation. Everyone had his own and Sabrina didn't wanted to miss this so she steps behind Luke on the board, her arms resting around his waist and her head on his back; he smelled like always, her favourite scent apple.
Luke felt the light pressure on his body, he turns his head slightly hoping to see her standing right there.
Focusing back on the friends they start to ride down the streets, passing various people which were annoyed by the teenagers but they didn't cared, this was her moment.
They reached the beach and for every single one it was the first time to step on the sand again. She saw their sadden expression; the boys slouch their shoulders.
"I think I'm not ready," Alex stated.
"After all we did?" Luke remarked. Alex sighed and took the first step. His feet sinks into the sand.
"You're coming?" His friends amazed by his action but soon they joined him.
"She'd be proud of you" Reggie laid his hand on his shoulder and squeezed it.
Minutes, even hours passed the group in silence. Soon the sun began to set and they were astonished by its beauty. Luke's view raised up and fell on the bright star which adorned the sky.
Sabrina sat next to him all the time and followed his graze. A tear slipped from her eye as she thought about it. Her head now resting in his shoulder which made Luke cringe at the pressure. His eyes searching for her green one without any luck.
"We'd head back" Reggie was the first back on his feet.
"I'm grateful to have you as friends" Alex said and taking the boys in a warm embrace. Sabrina's arms were also laid around Alex and Luke, they exchanged knowing glares and broke the hug.
"Let's go" they grabbed their boards and made their way home.
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Pairing: Jean Kirstein x Reader
fluff, imagine, what could have been, femenine reader,
Words count: 1901
• ⌜ ✧Heavenly✧ﾟ. °⌟ •
and you were there, somehow letting that big pain go away and thinking about what the hell was going on, a few moments ago you were dying in a titans mouth after you got eated but the only thing you could think about while you were traveling in a white, peaceful and comfortable light was "where am I going?".
At this moment you had already lost your entire squad: beginning with Marco a few years ago inside the walls and ending with Mikasa and Armin trying to protect Eren (who by the way was killed a moment after you passed away); Jean, your biggest and only hope in life, the light of your eyes but also the man you were gonna marry after an entire life of being meeting each other, died a month ago with Connie when they were fighting with their best in the middle of the war, Sasha your best friend, received a shoot and you can remember that painful day so good as if it was a recent memory, Mikasa and Armin were tragically shot more than 7 times, Historia died in the middle of her birth and you can still remember how caotic everything got after be losing our queen, Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie even if that was hard to believe to everybody else died trying to avoid Levi's and Hange's deaths, Erwin was crushed by a rock, Ymir, Marco and Hange died in a titans stomach and Levi.... he fought until he could and then passed away... everything so tragic and fast... so dark but never enough for this cruel life.
Mikasa and Armin, sadly but true, arrived a moments before to their destiny.
"Who's over there?" A familiar voice sounded on Mikasa and Armin's ears
"Calm down Levi"
"Huh? Armin...? OH MY GOD ARMIN IS HERE.... AND HE IS WITH MIKASA..." Annie shouted and for the first time in a long long long time she smiled when she saw the short blonde boy
"What the heck is this? Where we are Armin?" Mikasa took Armin's hand and hugged his shoulder, she looked shocked and scared, something that Armin never thought he would be able to see.
"Is okay Ackerman, you are safe... you just don't need to fight no more" Erwin said in a tone that sounded so warm and after that he got closer to them and gave them a big welcome hug that just felt so good, so comfortable, so much as a sense of family, like a father who hugs his kids in a rainy and dark night and there, Mikasa understood everything, indeed... they were safe.
"Come on guys, come and have some fun with us, we were just playing here in the beach..." Hange said so happy and when Erwin ended the hug, Armin tried to focus his view in the others and scratched his eyes trying to convince him that it was not a beautiful dream
"What's up boy? You think we are not real, aren't you?" Ymir asked in a funny tone
"Yeeeeessss, please tell me that I'm not dreaming one of the happiest dreams in my life..."
"Indeed Armin, welcome to the heaven" Sasha said in a weird voice making a funny hand gesture with Connie when she arrived to the word "heaven".
"How have you been? What happened down there? What happened with Eren? Do you know what happened with y/n? We won? Our deaths really worth it?"
"Hey Jean.... relax... give them a minute to try to understand what is going on"
"I'm sorry Marco but they were the last ones who actually saw her and I wanna know how's my girl..."
"Isn't that enough with be trying to protect her as much as you can when you have permission to go down?"
"S-shut up Rein-"
"We lost the war Jean" Mikasa said in a sad tone giving the group her back looking at the edge of the "heaven" and continued "W-we....we died trying to protect Eren but when we lost him because we got distracted somebody shot us several times until we passed away"
Armin exhaled heavily and sitted in the sand.
"The last thing we knew about y/n was that she was lidering Jean's squad and she got trapped by a titans hand.... we don't know exactly if she survived but I heard when one of her soldiers said that she got an arm and a leg broken and we exactly heard when the titan crushed her until her ribs got broken too so..." Mikasa turned around and began to walk to Jean's place "I-I'm sorry Jean" She didn't said anything else and just gave him a big hug while she started crying, Jean was nothing else than pain and tears because he wasn't able to imagine the girl he loved the most be suffering that bad...
On the middle of that sad moment Jean noticed a familiar smell, he didn't knew if he was getting insane or something but he could swear that it was his lovers perfume or that familiar smell she used to had always and made him go crazy each time they were together...
"Thank you for being protecting her all this time guys."
After being listening to the last voice of a soldier that you couldn't recognize begging you to still fighting inside the titans mouth you stopped hearing everything and now there was only one hugging silence mixed with a warm weather and a pretty bright light that was letting you blind but at the same time was throwing away all the pain and the concern,,,, you were crying thinking about how miserable and sad your life was but tons of memories ran away in your mind trying to convince you to just concentrate on the happy moments like when you met Jean for the first time and even if his name was pronounced as "Jan" you loved to annoyed him and call him instead "Jin" or when you were 17 and tried to organize a small night party inside the walls to try to get relaxed and forget about all the problems outside and as the guys were dancing and laughing and talking you were just dancing a slow and pretty song under the moon and stars shine with Jean when he asked you to be his girl and you proudly said yes; the moments you spent with Mikasa, Sasha, Historia and Ymir doing your stuff, the day you saw Armin's face watching the sea for the first time or the days you loved to be with Sasha, Connie and Jean making fun of yourselves and doing crazy shits, the day before Jean's death when in front of the sea he tried his hardest to make you feel happy and he proposed you to marry him with his mother's ring after the war gets finished without be knowing that that night would be the last one you would be spending together, the last one you would be feeling him inside you , filling you up at the only way he knew.... but when you heard that first sound of a wave crushing with a rock and more water and a couple of laughs and happy shouts like "Sash... look behind" "Agggggh Ymir stop carrying me!!" "Erwiiiiiin, Liiiiiivai... look at the stars" a weird sensation ran over your body and you asked again
"Where am I?"
"Who's coming there Marco? What was that sound?" Jean said while he was looking at Marco and grabbing the ball in his hands
"JEAN LOOK.... WHO'S HERE??" Marco said running to your position helping you to stand up and trying to help you understand what was going on.
Just like 5 minutes after Eren appeared by your side but he didn't looked hurted or in pain anymore, he didn't looked tired and he was with that young image you could remember perfectly of him, not a long long hair and a weird moustache, just that long enough hair tied in a messy bun and a relaxed face, he was layed in the... sand?? and then "EREH" Mikasa run with Armin to try to help him
"Hey smol y/n... you missed me?"
"M-Marco?? Holy shit... I- I just-"
"Quiet girl, I know this can be a little bit messy the first moments but look who's here.... we are all together after so many years honey"
Jean was standing in the same place he was with the ball in his hands, crying in silence.... happy because you were here but sad because you passed through hard things to arrive there
"Where am I? What are you doing here? A-am I dead?"
"I know it can be hard smol girl but yes... we are all dead-" Marco was interrupted
"You are in the heaven" and then Sasha and Connie made the same gestures they made with Mikasa and Armin
"Where's Jean?" you took Marco's hand to stand up and shaked thesand that was on the pretty white dress you were wearing
"Ow yes... he is over there" that was definitel an answer you were not expecting to receive and when Marco pointed at the specific direction and Connie move aside you saw him as the same way you remembered... pretty light brown eyes, messy light brown mullet, perfect nose, kissable lips, greek god body and beautiful voice
"Jean...? oh mY LORD JEAN" and you started crying immediately while you where trying to run to his place
"y-y/n" he started crying too and left the ball fall in the sand, he opened his arms and waited until you arrived to give you the best hug you could ever ask "Y-you are here, holy shit you are here and you are fine" he couldn't believe that and while he was speaking he was grabbing your head with his both hands "You are finally here babe"
"Yes my love, I'm here finally"
And he gave you another big hug "You made a good work, I'm your fan number one princess... you were just so brave and you face all that by your own..."
"What are you talking about Jin?"
"Mikasa and Armin told us everything you made down there alone, I'm sorry I couldn't stay with you but I never asked to be killed by somebody that I did even kne-"
You were crying yet and you grabbed his head with your hands looking at his face just to kiss him and holy shit, you really needed to kiss him after one month and 5 days of being losing him
"I missed you y/n, I missed you so much" he put his forehead with yours and grab both sides of your head with his hands
"I missed you too Jeanbo"
"Please promise me this time that we won't leave each other alone again..."
"I just wanna stay here in this heavenly place with you till the end of times"
And then all of your group walked with the rest... all of them were there... Nanaba, Mike, Petra, Hannes, Moblit, Thomas, Hitch, Lynnes... all of them were there safe and happy and you refused to spent the night and maybe the rest of your existance in that heavenly world that looked as a beautiful and magestical floating island in the middle of the hope and peace.
Omg, I'm sorry for the bad spelling but I'm not a native English speaker and I really really tried to make my best writing in this language.
Also is the first time I write a history like this with them and in here, I'm kinda knew and I really don't know how to make this good.
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We’re All Mad Here
- Part 5 -
Scenario: Alice in Borderland universe... mainly interactions at the “Beach” between the reader, Chishiya, Kuina, Niragi
Pairing: Chishiya x female reader; Niragi x female reader
Genre: sort of angsty
Warnings: swearing, violence?
Word Count: 2400+
A/N: I just wanna say, I'm here waving my sympathy for Niragi flag tbh
The rest of the night went by without any further incidents and neither of you talked about whatever was going on with either of you.
In the end, the three of you weren't friends, merely allies in strange and desperate times.
You were made to join a game that next day but it was an easy one, a four of clubs, and nearly everyone survived.
That wasn't a big challenge and therefore rather meaningless. However, it did add some more days to your visa, leaving you with a safe stay for another week at least.
Even on the following days nothing spectacular happenend and they seemed to simply pass by.
You avoided Niragi as much as possible, although you weren't sure if seeing him was so much worse than sharing a room with the other two that one night.
It was decided that you didn't want to draw any attention to you before getting to the upcoming phase which led you to be very careful to only showing up in Niragi's sight when you were surrounded by a bunch of others and even then you kept the distance.
By now you knew that Chishiya's plan was to get an entire deck of cards. And albeit you disliking the idea of not earning them in a rightful way, you had to accept that stealing them from Hatter seemed to be the fastest option to reach that goal.
Truthfully, you couldn't have gotten off of that train anymore even if you had tried to. Betraying Chishiya would have been dumb after basically seeking his help. And so you had picked a side a while ago.
A few times Niragi made eyes at you and came over, trying to convince you to go against Chishiya right then or simply trying to lure you away not so subtly when the latter was nowhere to be seen.
You found it hard to tell Niragi you were still gaining Chishiya's trust and wouldn't be coming off too well if he caught you together like that.
Not only because Niragi couldn't quite hold back his anger and impatience and had difficulties not going in to physical confrontation.
But also due to the lack of information or false detail you could give to him. Of course it made sense to check up with him on where his plan was going and where you were standing. You were only troubled because you took caution to action, trying to play it smart in both teams and had to hide everything.
And it was rather obvious how much it bothered Niragi that he couldn't have you.
All of this made him want you even more. In every sense possible. He hated waiting and just wanted Chishiya out of the game and you preferebly under him.
This wasn't his type of a fight.
You weren't able to say how long you could keep that facade up. Flirting with and ghosting him while making believe it was to dig deeper into Chishiya's mind was barely enough to pretend that you were loyal to him instead of the other. How many more times could you lie?
Then it was time to come up with the next step of the plan and so Chishiya, Kuina and you got together and discussed a strategy.
More or less, that was.
Of course, Chishiya had already thought of something and therefore did most of the talking, skillfully nudging you in the wanted directions.
"He cares for me. We should use that to our advantage." You looked at Chishiya and you could tell from his expression. "You've seen it. He has a soft spot for me. I don't know why but he has."
Even though he might not entirely trust me, you quietly added in your head.
"What are you going to do?"
"I'm taking one for the team", you responded vaguely.
"You can't...", Kuina started with worry in her eyes but you interrupted her.
"It's okay. I've chosen this path myself. So now, go. You guys find a solution."
Chishiya solemnly gave you a long look before turning to leave.
"We'll come for you when it's time", Kuina promised and for a brief moment it seemed like she wanted to give you a hug but she didn't.
You returned her sincere smile and quietly thanked her, then she went after Chishiya and both disappeared from your view.
Your assigned job was Niragi, that didn't change.
Playing the role of Niragi's pet was the only thing you could do to help, being in the tangled situation you put yourself in. Keeping him happy and occupied. Whatever that meant for you.
It would be worth it if it helped making the games come to an end.
You didn't believe Kuina's words, even though you wanted to. If things went wrong, they wouldn't risk it.
But you believed she truly meant them.
Absentmindedly, you wandered through the Beach's building in search of Niragi to do your part. Like a little mouse going back and forth between two parties at war just to remind them of the others' existence.
Not even you yourself could comprehend how you managed to play a role for each of both sides so well. Relatively.
When you saw Niragi strolling along the corridors, you walked straight towards him, giving him a meaningful look.
He made some suggestive remarks first but understood and took you to one of the rooms, so you wouldn't be watched.
"Actually, I was looking for you. Well, Chishiya wanted me to spy on you and report back to him whatever I find out that he might be able to use against you", you made the white lie sound so true and sweet.
"But I thought, instead I could come to you and stay here, telling you about it."
Your words weren't entirely wrong since Kuina and Chishiya knew you were paying Niragi a little visit.
But it was more as a test of to what point he'd be distracted by your presence and how believable you were.
You had become very dull during the game that these two seemed to play on their own. Thrilling at first, there was no fun in it for you anymore. Maybe you were going mad in this place after all.
"I see, you came to me like a good girl then." Niragi's eyes were focused on you, his mouth agape, tongue twirling between his teeth.
You simply smiled in response but deep down his words made you shiver. They seemed strange in a way that didn't suit him.
Niragi moved closer to you, trapping you between his body and the wall.
"I guess, if I keep you here longer he'll notice you're not back at some point. And he'll think you must have gone missing when trying to spy on me. You're leading that annoying jerk directly to me."
It crossed your mind that the way he spoke of Chishiya only and never of them, him and Kuina as a team, was odd. And that it could be an advantage if he thought he only had one opponent.
On the other side, he must have noticed the both of them hanging around together. He might just wanted other things for Kuina than for Chishiya. Which was probably worse.
You felt Niragi's mouth on your neck and your breath hitched.
Then his tongue darted between your lips as he proceeded to kiss you forcefully.
At first you let him but eventually you pushed him away, encountering a lot of resistance.
You tried to gather your thoughts and be smooth.
"Not yet", you reminded him. In hopes that he would actually hold off and view you as some sort of prize by now.
Fortunately, it worked and he let off of you.
He surely wasn't happy about it, though. His gaze went dark again.
He dragged you out of the room, commenting on how it was time to start the plan and finally wipe that bothersome grin off of Chishiya's face and made you accompany him to his usual residence.
Of course he had used other words to describe the blonde in his little speech.
You weren't too keen on finding out Niragi's behaviour towards you being his bait. Or more so, his hostage.
"I still don't know whether I can trust you. But I'm sure he will come for you, trying to save you", Niragi whispered to your ear as he walked around you, closing the explosive collar on your neck.
You had seen these things in a few of the games before but never wore one yourself and you swallowed at the uncomfortable feeling.
It was more due to the knowledge of what the collar was capable of doing to you than the fit itself.
Never would you have guessed that this was Niragi's idea of using you to get on Chishiya's nerves.
Then again, everybody knew he had easy access to weapons as all of the militants led by Aguni.
Now all you had to do was wait with your hands tied together. And hope that this would take a good turn for you somehow.
At least he didn't tape over your mouth, trusting enough in you not to scream for help or make a fuzz.
You knew the only reason he could go this far was because Hatter and Aguni were out together and therefore Niragi was left uncontrolled, probably feeling drunk from power.
Yes, they were mostly minding their own business, especially Hatter didn't meddle with the militants one by one other than his old friend. And you were sure that they indeed were good friends, despite acting out some rivalry acts in front of everyone from time to time.
Usually the both of them managed to put a halt to Niragi's insanity fueled actions before it got too ugly.
They were aware how dangerous it could be having an unsupervised psychopath lose at the Beach and Niragi only seemed to accept Aguni and not Hatter as an authority anyways.
An hour had passed and by now you had gotten company from two other guys who mostly were just lounging around.
You actually started to miss Chishiya and his arrogant smartass behaviour being surrounded by those purely out of stupidity made up humans.
Those two militants were still young and spit nothing but self-centered nonsense.
At least it occurred to you like that in this specific situation and you wouldn't have been surprised if they had started a swordfight just to pass the time. Although they did carry guns and not swords.
Niragi made some comments here and there but overall he was decent towards you.
At first he quite enjoyed seeing you like this and him being in control of your life entirely.
After a while he started getting impatient and his mood shifted visibly. He fidgeted around on his rifle and the remote of the explosive collar, letting out frustrated and angry groans.
A couple of times he snapped at the other two until they eventually stopped doing anything and so they stood a little further away from you, almost as if they wanted to guard the door from the inside of the room.
Niragi's moodiness made you just the more uneasy.
And you almost felt sympathetic, seeing his plan not going the way he had expected it to.
You were sure if this continued, he would start taking it out on you physically.
The fact that you didn't know whether anybody would show up at all didn't make it any better for you.
How would they even find you? That building including the entire site was like a freaking maze in your opinion.
But then the situation turned around completely as your allies entered the room and walked straight past the two militants to face you and Niragi on the other side.
"Our special guests", Niragi almost cheered. "Welcome. I believe you came for this?" He dramatically gestured towards you, madness in his eyes.
"Take that fucking thing out of my face, Niragi!" You almost yelled, referring to the rifle he loved pointing at people so closely just to scare them.
"Did you seriously think you could manipulate me that easily? With her?" Niragi huffed loudly, a crooked grin on his face as he pulled you closer to his side by your hair. His sniper rifle was held near to your head but his eyes were taxing Chishiya and Kuina.
The grip on you was painful and you couldn't keep a straight expression.
"Yes. Obviously", Chishiya replied calmly, getting Niragi even more aggravated. "It could have worked. You're quite stupid."
Now Niragi swung the weapon around to point it at the blonde.
"Maybe I should just blow your brains out right here and see it all splatter across the floor." He paused.
"But that would be too easy. I should start with your friend first."
His view fell to Kuina who was standing slightly further away, albeit still being next to Chishiya.
She hadn't said a word or made a move the entire time and witnessed everything with a tense posture. She was visibly uncomfortable.
You could tell Kuina wanted to act and help but at the same time didn't want to get into it.
"Nah", Niragi voiced out and grinned demonicly. "Where's the fun in that? When obviously you're far more interested in her."
The control of your collar loosely in one hand, he pointed at you now, taking a step back from you to look you properly up and down.
"Why would I care about her? You can keep her. Do whatever you want." The blonde remarked. His gaze focused on Niragi, completely ignoring you.
"You could press that button and blow the both of you up right this second for all I care."
"Bite me, Chishiya! You're the one who put me in this position", you shot at him and pulled at your ties.
It was all for dramatic effect but still, you couldn't be sure that he wouldn't indeed throw you under the bus and leave you there.
Maybe you were just going to be a necessary sacrifice. Chishiya's actions were unpredictable.
How did you even end up here?
"What? Everyone here was thinking it. I just had the decency to say it", Chishiya announced with an entirely unbothered mimic, smoothly including the other two militants and Kuina.
"Oh Yeah? Well get fucked." Niragi hissed at the smaller man.
You had a very bad feeling about this.
Kuina had come because she sincerely cared and worried about you but Chishiya?
He didn't come to save you but to watch the specactle. All of that was probably just some light amusement to him.
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For Valentine’s, how about a Cafe Caraval spinoff?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes/OFC (Rose from Cafe Canaveral)
Working on a Sunday sucks. Working on a long weekend sucks worse. Working Valentine’s Day, while all of her friend-slash-coworkers are off on hot dates? That’s the suckiest of all. Rose groans as the portable fan on the counter sputters and threatens to die. Eighty-five degrees Fahrenheit, and it’s only mid-February. Typical.
She figures she only has herself to blame. She did offer to man the espresso machine solo today, and Cafe Canaveral is bustling, so at least she’ll rake in the tips. That graphic design LLC isn’t going to pay for itself.
Maybe some of the super-secret spy types will come around today. Do superheroes and secret agents celebrate Valentine’s Day? She knows for a fact that Loki does, because Loki celebrating Valentine’s Day is the reason why Rose is down a coworker today. She adds little horns to one of the hearts on the chalkboard behind her. Does Loki even count as a superhero? Has she been to a beach picnic with a supervillain? Probably. Does that make him even cooler? Absolutely.
There are more couples in the cafe than usual. Rose has to admit that she enjoys the people-watching aspect, even if it makes her lament her own dearth of romantic coffee shop interludes. There’s the old local engineer who comes in every workday for a plain black coffee, but today, he’s with his wife, and they’re sharing a red velvet muffin and holding hands and just generally being adorable. There are the teenagers on a first date - or, she assumes it’s a first date, because they’re both super awkward.
Then, along with all of that, there are the usual suits. Government guys. Guys who wear sunglasses indoors. Guys who never engage in chatter, who barely stop listening to their earpiece long enough to place an order. Rose wonders if Agent Roy will be around today; she’s been able to coax a few words out of him, at least. He’s a decent tipper, and someday, she’s sure she’ll convince him to actually talk about his Avenger-babysitting job.
She wonders what his LinkedIn profile looks like. ‘Skills: keeping an eye on Norse deities and the scientists they hang out with?’ What would a logo for a superhero babysitting company look like? Rose is soon lost in daydreams.
As soon as the guy walks in the door, Rose feels like she’s in a slow-mo scene in a cheesy music video. He’s wearing black leather and looks like he could probably pick her up and throw her over his shoulder one-handed. Compact muscle. Nice legs. She’s already itching to sketch him. Would that be weird? ‘Hey, what’s your order? And also, wanna come pose for me to draw? Nude, maybe? I’m a professional, I swear.’
That would be crazy. She sticks with the normal, customer-appropriate approach. “I’d ask your order,” she tells him, but I already see you eying our chalkboard and the star of the day, the Hearts on Fire.”
“The flames and knives are a nice touch,” Handsome Sexy Leather-Jacket Man replies, giving her artful menu another look. “Just coffee for me, though. Black.”
She sighs. “You’re missing out. Anything else - muffin?”
“No, cupcake,” he says, and she sees a little twinkle of amusement in his gorgeous blue eyes. “Sorry, I’m still working on getting my jokes up to date. No thanks on the muffin. Maybe next time.”
Next time? Yes, please, Rose thinks, while simultaneously musing over the fact that a man just called her ‘cupcake,’ and she’s actually kinda flustered about it. “Name for the order?”
Bucky. It clicks, then. Winter Soldier. His face doesn’t show up on the news often, but it has to be him. She glances down and notes the metal hand. The vague reference to getting his jokes ‘up to date’ suddenly makes a lot more sense.
She glances up from his cup, which she’s decorating with a drawing of a heart - only because it’s Valentine’s Day, of course, and she’s done it for all of her other customers. Her name is printed on her apron, on an area that, unfortunately, happens to sit right atop one of her boobs. Is he trying to avoid looking at her boobs? Or to give that impression, at least? What a gentleman.
“Rose is a pretty name,” he says, and then his lips thin, as if he’s disappointed in himself. “Sorry, again. I imagine you get that a lot. I’ll let you get back to work.”
“No,” she says with embarrassing haste, and when he turns back to the counter, her cheeks burn. “Um, I mean, I’m bored out of my mind.” She gestures to the dog-eared, weathered copy of Wuthering Heights that sits on the corner of the counter. “It’s a slow day, and I don’t think it’s physically possible to fit anything else on the chalkboard, so I’m not doing much. Thanks, by the way. For liking my name.”
His lip quirks. “No problem.”
“How are you liking Florida?” Rose mentally slaps herself; she might as well have asked about the weather. “All of you guys seem to wear a lot of leather,” she adds quickly. “Seems hot.”
Wow. That was even worse. She’s usually better at this.
He’s got maybe the prettiest eyes she’s ever seen. Blue. Piercing. She feels like he’s looking right through her. This is clearly karma; she should’ve never made fun of anyone else for getting crushes on mysterious Avengers-adjacent customers. Why hasn’t he said anything?
“Hey,” she says, “are you sure I can’t convince you to try the Hearts on Fire? I kinda run this place, so I can slip you a freebie. The caffeine-seeking ghouls working for the Stark project are basically keeping the lights on here, anyway, so it’s only fair.”
His brows raise. “I’m a ghoul?”
“I promise that’s not what I meant, but I’m sure you’d be a good ghoul, if you wanted. You’ve got that world-weary thing. Y’know”— she points to her own eyes —“the dark circles and everything.”
“Really makes your eyes pop,” she adds. “I’m sure you get that a lot, though.”
“I don’t, believe it or not.”
That smile is deadly. His face should be registered as a lethal weapon. Rose is on the verge of saying something stupid. Is this just one of the perks of working at Cafe Canaveral? Hot Avengers and assorted Avengers-adjacent personnel coming around to serve as eye-candy. “You should. I mean, your eyes are just… Wow. Really nice.”
“Can I have a straw?” he asks abruptly, and when she hands him one, he pulls out a pocket-knife. Rose’s eyes widen as she watches him split the end of the paper straw.
“What are you doing?”
“Hang on a second,” he says. “You’ll see.”
He snags a couple of the pink and red holiday napkins from the counter and folds them deftly. Rose is becoming a fan of his hands, too. Would it be too forward to ask if she could sketch him? Would it be too forward if she asked him on a date?
A few seconds later, Bucky presents her with a napkin-and-straw flower that is shockingly pretty, considering the haste and materials used to construct it. “A rose for Rose,” he says. “The joke’s just as terrible, but at least this time it comes with a terrible flower, too.”
She takes it from his hand. She still hasn’t made his coffee, and she should probably do that. It’s her job, after all. “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. It’s the best napkin-rose I’ve ever seen.”
“Glad you like it,” Bucky says.
“Let me get you that coffee.”
As she’s affixing the lid to the cup, Rose notices how hyper-vigilant he is, how he’s angled himself so that his back isn’t fully towards the door. She notices, too, that he seems to be cataloguing every single person in the cafe, and she wonders if he’s actually there to keep an eye on things, considering all of the superhero-related drama they’ve had in recent months. Maybe that means she’ll be seeing more of him. Dare she hope?
“Here you go,” she says. “Headed off anywhere special for Valentine’s?”
“No. I just got into town, so I’m still getting the lay of the land. I’ll probably finish my coffee and walk around for a little while.” He takes a sip and seems a little surprised that he likes it. “You?”
“Nah. I’ll probably just work on projects tonight. Commissions.” She gestures to the various chalkboards. “I art.”
“I see that.” He takes another sip. “Look, I’m pretty sure you recognized my name, so I wouldn’t blame you at all if you said no—”
“I will absolutely give you my number,” Rose blurts out, before she can stop herself. “Crap. I hope that’s what you were going to ask.”
The corner of his lip turns up. “That would be nice, too,” he says. “I was gonna ask if you’d let me take you out to dinner tonight. A local guide.”
Rose is in heaven. Valentine’s dreams do come true. “Yeah? Full disclosure; nothing around here is particularly great.”
“That’s okay,” Bucky says, and when she reaches out to take his hand to write her number on his palm in permanent marker, he offers it willingly. “Dinner’s just an excuse to see you again, anyway.”
Literally Anything Taglist: @1800-fight-me @aerinvel @melstarry @sleep-deprived-things @magic-in-your-bones @cozy-the-overlord @mtdewamazon @falconfeather23435 @flowerpersephone @rue-gi-oh @the-feckless-wonder @kitkatd7 @kangaroobunny @butterfly-writes @historian-in-pearls @solonglivesthis @mooncat163 @apurpletrashcan @unicornslothfish @moriamithril @demon-goddess-of-night @cyanide-mustard
Cafe Canaveral Taglist: @la-ufeyscn @thefallenbibliophilequote @sweetomega @smginger1131 @ms-marveleous @dxftprettyboys @ely-seum @boundless-fandoms @thegrandmasterschampion @elugirl @whovianayesha @ironqueen100 @magnitude101999 @lokikingofasgardslover713 @luckyyloki @starscreamloki @dorisfantasyworld @ihavenofilter101 @meyoko10 @chaoticneutralmemelord @hanasonly @bilesxbilinskixlahey @reblogthoseimagines @wildefire @dragonett8 @im-way-too-many-fandoms @toxic-pineapple @marshyrebelcloud @sadwaywardkid @prettylittlehiddles
Bucky Barnes General Taglist: @breathinginthevapor @marshyrebelcloud @cottoncandy1010 @thatkidofwarandpeace @kawaiidesuneisnotalegitexcuse @nonbinarylowkey @dorkydeviantdude
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We’re All Mad Here
- Part 4 -
Scenario: Alice in Borderland universe... mainly interactions at the “Beach” between the reader, Chishiya, Kuina, Niragi
Pairing: Chishiya x female reader; (Niragi x female reader)
Genre: peak comedy if you ask me. No but srsly. Is this fluff?
Rating: ? this part is pure y'all
Warnings: none I think?
Word Count: 1600+
A/N: If this makes you wanna punch Chishiya in his face almost lovingly then I did a good job (I promise you it's not gonna be the last time.) The part’s a bit shorter since I wanted the Chishiya situation to stand alone, I guess?
You didn't mean to overanalyze them but you were left with too little to do in this place and couldn't stop your thoughts from spiraling. That's just who you were.
And you liked knowing who you surrounded yourself with. And being aware of their strong points and weak spots. It made you feel safer.
There were a few times when you felt like everything was pointless and you wanted to give up.
In those moments you had wondered if quitting the games and letting your visa run out, which you knew would lead to being killed, automatically brought you back to the real world. To your old, normal life. Or if it meant actual death for you.
But you never had the guts to go through with it, the risk of the odds not being in your favor were simply too high.
You had the will to survive.
Not knowing about your family and friends and having no one by your side troubled you in your weaker moments, albeit usually not minding being alone.
You had hoped to run into somebody you knew, anybody really, when you arrived at the beach. You didn't necessarily need a friend, just an ally to deal with the games and the time in between them a little better.
But you haven't met anyone you had already known before. After all, the city was big.
It was probably for the best not to be with the ones dear to you, at least better than having to watch them suffer or die here.
A loud noise made you jolt up in bed, shocked by the sound as it woke you in the middle of the night.
Alarmed, you pushed yourself up slightly on one arm and looked around in the dark, your heart beating fast.
Chishiya, lying next to you, must have noticed your panicked move since his voice was coming from behind you instantly, sounding so serene. "It's nothing. Don't be so scared."
Your view fell to him, twisting your upper body in your sideways lying position and just now you noticed that he had his arm loosely draped around your waist. Had the both of you been spooning while you had been asleep?
You attempted to sit up and without a word the man rolled over on his back, a little further away from you.
"Sleep", Chishiya spoke, not even bothering to open his eyes.
"Where's Kuina?" You realised she was nowhere to be seen in the poorly lit room and it felt weird, missing the third person of your party.
The blonde beside you sighed. "Probably out on a stroll. She does that quite often. It's not unusual."
A part of you wanted to suggest to go looking for her but you were aware that Kuina could handle things perfectly fine by herself.
Also you didn't want to hear about how ridiculously easy you were getting terrified from Chishiya and so you just lowered yourself into the mattress again and lied on your back side by side with him.
"Were you hugging me?" You asked out of nowhere when your mind trailed back to that moment after your previous sleep was being interrupted.
"Nothing to get ecstatic about", he said with such simplicity and the trace of the usual mocking tone in his voice made you feel pathetic for asking in the first place.
Why couldn't you just ever leave things unommented? It's not like you were reading anything in to it.
Everyone needed to feel safe sometimes. People needed other people around.
Not that you assumed you, or anyone, could make him feel safe and sound or that he needed basic human things like that.
Besides, his warmth had not bothered you.
Although you hated having to admit it to yourself, you felt quite lonely in this cruel reality that didn't offer much to distract you from the bad feelings you had.
"Don't think I'm attracted to you. The only reason you're still here is because I'm letting you", he reminded you unapologetically.
"Well, don't think you're so attractive either. You're really the least of my problems", you retorted and swiftly moved into your original sleeping position, turning your back on him.
A tiny chuckle escaped Chishiya's throat in response to your spiteful and rather childish reaction, once more pleased with himself.
You knew you wouldn't be able to sleep now, so you groaned and got out of bed.
Not having a single clue what you should do, or more so what you could do to ease your mind, you went over to the window.
It didn't make much sense to you but something about Kuina not being there made you uneasy.
And you still hadn't figured out what the noise had been.
Chishiya getting on your nerves with his vain assumption was just the tip of the iceberg.
Initially, stealing glances from afar, you had found him so fascinating but the more time you spent with him, the less sure of his character you were.
Chishiya waited to watch your next move, only to see you not deciding on making one while being stuck, staring into the dark with an absent mind.
After a moment of silent contemplation he left the bed as well.
You noticed him walking up to you and when he came to stop, you felt his presence right behind you.
"Almost endearing. If it wasn't so sad." He remarked, speaking in riddles.
You wondered what was getting him to be so social now. If you could call it that.
The only way to find out would be to ask.
You turned around to him, barely being able to make out his features in the moonlight, despite him standing directly in front of you. "What?"
"Oh, seeing you scared and worried", he explained and a sly grin showed. "That's not very smart. Don't get attached."
A part of you desperately wanted to pick a fight with him. Maybe he got under your skin, too. With his arrogance and the indifference in his reactions. The secrecy. He was always just hiding around the corner, lurking.
Did you not risk your life in order to be of service for him?
Yes, it was mainly to help find a way out of the game but still.
Was he really so entitled to think he could look down on you?
"You're so full of yourself."
Chishiya looked at you calmly, the slightest smirk on his face, totally unshaken by your words. "Don't you wanna kiss me?"
Irritated you blinked, opening and then quickly closing your mouth again.
Where was he getting that from?
There were many possible options on how to respond to this and you struggled picking one that could have actually voiced out all your thoughts on his blunt question. Or perhaps, it was just another bad guess. Or an attempt to trick your brain.
What exactly was it with this guy?
You swallowed, glancing at the blonde's lips and his bare chest so close to you.
At this view, you came to realize you hadn't particularly paid attention to him sleeping shirtless.
Knowing that he had been sort of cuddled up with you like that felt strange.
But then again, summer night's were warm. Why would he bother to wear more?
"We should go and find Kuina."
And with that you turned away from him, missing the smug face he made in reaction.
"Interesting", he said quietly to himself but followed you into the hallway with no hesitation.
You didn't really care whether Chishiya joined you or not. You just knew that you didn't want to be alone and caged in with him that very second.
He had it way too easy messing with you and you didn't want to wonder about his intentions for once.
And you were pretty sure he only bothered to come so he could keep an eye on you and to have more time to point out your flaws.
The search was over quickly as you got run in by Kuina when you went around the corner before you had even reached the stairs.
Her eyes got wide but then the expression was quickly replaced by a small and simple smile.
"Good. Found her", you commented as she seemed fine and turned on your heels, far more relieved than you let show.
Getting left behind by you again, Chishiya gazed after you shortly and only he would have been able to tell what he was thinking.
However, his view didn't go unnoticed by Kuina and she just looked him up and down, crossing the arms in front of her chest.
He hadn't even bothered to grab his jacket or a shirt, let alone to put anything on and so he stood there with a bare torso meeting Kuina's eyes in the badly lighted hallway. That was a first.
"You must really like her", she said in an honest but also slightly teasing tone, assuming there might have been something more to his lack of clothes and the way he had strolled after you just now than the sole laziness to get dressed in the middle of the night.
"Don't be delusional. Do you truly take me to be that weak?"
Kuina shrugged it off and headed back to the room with him, not saying another word.
You had rolled yourself up in bed again, despite having considered to sleep on the ground, since you deemed the situation to be awkward and unbearable enough as it was.
Switching your sleeping place would only stir weird thoughts and questions.
And honestly, you didn't want to give Chishiya that kind of power.
If he made you uncomfortable on purpose, you would have to suck it up and ignore it. This wasn't about mind games after all. There was more on the line than a hurt ego and false pride.
Even if it meant ignoring your own feelings in that matter.
Precious chapter/ Next chapter
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Secrets of the Shore (Chapter 6)
Pairing: Pogues x OC, Eventually JJ x OC
Summary: This is just my rewrite of the show Outer Banks with my own twist by adding another main character which also happens to be John B’s twin sister.
Note: Happy Sunday(: Thank you for all your kind feedback!
Word Count: 4.6k
After the intrusion, John B was more than eager to figure out what Redfield meant. My house was trashed, but it didn't look as bad as Ms. Lana's. My dad's office was basically wiped clean. All his files and maps were taken, leaving us nothing but a couple of picture frames and the pinboard John B used to show the history of the compass.
John B drives quickly down the Cut, inching closer to the edge of Figure Eight. Somewhere deep inside his brain that I thought was covered in cob webs, he made the connection of the engraving to the Redfield Lighthouse. My dad use to love coming here. Sometimes he would take John B and I and tell us these crazy stories about the sea.
"I mean, it's obvious right?" John B says from behind the wheel. Kie sits next to him and the rest of us are piled in the back. "A family heirloom. What better place to hide a message? He had to know it was gonna get back to me, right?"
I bite my tongue and look out the window, ignoring the look JJ tries to give me.
"Yeah, it's possible," Kie says with a shrug.
"It could also be possible that you're concocting wild theories to help, you know, deal with your sad feels," Pope says.
"Thank you!" I say, finally feeling like I have someone on my side who won't lie to John B to save his feelings.
"Bro, you know how I process my sad feels," JJ says, "Dank nugs and the stickiest of ickies. That's how I do it."
"I'm not concocting, okay?" John B snaps. "My dad's trying to give me a message."
"If it helps you believe John B," Kie says softly, but it only pisses him off even more.
"Look, I-I don't need a therapy session, okay? Look, I'm not trippin' out."
"It's okay to trip bro -" JJ tries to tell him.
"Look." John B sighs. "My dad is missing, okay? Missing. You don't know what it's like to have the person closest to you vanish and then have no idea what happened." I do. "Just wake up every morning wondering."
"It's been almost a year," Kie says.
"Hey, he could have been kidnapped. That's definitely a possibility," JJ says. When I look at him, I know he only made that crazy suggestion to ease some of the tension. He winks at me, immediately turning my frown into a smile.
"Yeah, could be in the Soviet sub getting interrogated by the KGB somewhere," Pope adds.
"Absolutely. Uh...or Atlantis."
Kie turns around to glare at the two idiots behind her, but they're making me laugh. "Look, what do you think the message is?" Kie asks my brother.
"Redfield," John B says, pulling up to the lighthouse and parking the car on the side of the road. "Redfield Lighthouse. That's my dad's favorite place."
When John B cuts the engine, we all topple out of the van and look up at the Lighthouse. It's definitely been beaten down by Hurricane Agatha. One more storm and I don't think its going to last. Kinda has a creepy vibe to it. I wouldn't be surprised if it was haunted.
John B turns to the boys. "Right. You're gonna post up and look out for bogeys, okay?"
"Wait." JJ looks between Pope and John B. "Why me?"
"Because you're not coming."
Pope steps in. "There are independent and dependent variables. You're independent. We don't know what you'll do."
JJ glares at him and pushes him away. "Shut up!"
"Listen to me!" John B snaps. "Pope, you stand look out with JJ and Marleigh. Okay?"
"Wait. Why do I have to stay down here?" I ask.
"Did you not just hear my speech on independent variables?" Pope says, making me turn to glare at him.
"Look, he was my dad too, okay? I wanna know why there are people shooting at us for Dad's dumb compass," I say to John B.
"Why do you care? You think he's dead!"
"Yeah, I do. But I wanna know what happened to him!"
"Okay." JJ steps in between us and places his hand on my shoulders to push me back a couple of steps. I turn away from John B's glare and push JJ's hands off of me. "I think thats enough of the brother-sister fighting for today."
John B sighs. "If we get split up, we meet back at JJ's house."
Kie tries giving me a sympathetic look before taking off with John B towards the lighthouse, but I ignore it. I lean against the open car door with my arms crossed at my chest. I'm tired of fighting with John B about Dad. I liked it better when we ignored our differences and pretended like we weren't thinking about the man every single day.
"Great." Pope sighs. "I'm going to work on my merit scholarship essay, and I'm trying to keep felonies to a minimum."
"All right would you just shut up already?" JJ says. "Mar, heads up!" When I look up at him, I see a hackey sack coming my way. Luckily I catch it before the small knitted ball hits me in the face. I glare at him and throw the thing back at him hard. "Oh come on. No one likes a debby downer."
"I'm not a debby downer," I deny.
"Not usually," JJ retaliates. He throws the hackey sack in the air again and kicks it around with his feet. "You're telling me you don't even have a lick of hope that your old man could be alive?"
"Nope," I tell him but I refuse to look up at him.
JJ only smirks. "You use to be a good liar, Mar."
He kicks the hackey sack over to me. This time I juggle it around on my feet, deciding to shake the dark feeling I have out of my system. I laugh at his statement, hating that he can read me like an open book but loving it at the same time. He always knew me better than anyone else, sometimes even better than my brother.
"So what happened between you and John B?" He asks.
"Other than him being the usual pain in my ass?" I smirk at him and kick the small ball back over to him. JJ nods. "Isn't it obvious? He thinks Dad's alive and I don't. We just...finally talked about it and it didn't end well."
"Clearly," JJ chuckles.
"Look," I sigh. "I'm not a witch with a black hole as a heart. Of course I wish my dad was alive. But am I gonna hold on to the tiniest sliver of hope that he is somewhere out there in the middle of the ocean when the chances are slim to absolutely fucking none? No." JJ passes the hackey sack back over my way but I catch it in my hand and squeeze it like it's a stress ball. "I want John B to be right. More than anything. But...I know what it's like to hope for something so badly and it never coming true. When I was five, I thought my mom would come back for our birthday. Then I did the same thing when I was six, seven, eight, nine, and finally when I was ten I came to terms that she couldn't care less about me or John B. It was the worst heartbreak I've ever had." I swallow the pity I feel for myself. It was rare that I ever talked about my mom. She was a soft spot and I didn't like it. She's the reason why my walls are so thick. "I just don't want John B to go through that with my dad."
JJ comes closer to me and takes the hackey sack out of my hand. "I get it. Trust me, more than anyone. I get it. But you have to admit that this whole compass thing is really freaky, all right? And maybe...just maybe...John B could be right."
"Look, I'll have your back. Kie clearly will defend John B till the end. And Pope? Well who knows."
I giggle and look behind my shoulder at Pope who's doing a horrible job at pretending like he's not listening. His fingers are wrapped around his pen and pad of paper but his eyes are anywhere but.
"I'm the biggest bitch, aren't I?" I sigh, suddenly feeling bad for giving my brother so much crap. If he wanted to think my dad was still alive, who was I to take that away from him?
"Only when you need to be." JJ smirks.
I shove him backwards and laugh. "Shut up, dick!"
"Make me." JJ laughs and suddenly something in the air changes. Those two words...it's hard not to think of anything sexual when someone uses those words as a challenge. I bite down on my bottom lip to try to suppress the images of what I could do to him to shut him up, but my mind runs wild.
Then I remember Pope is behind me.
"Say another word and I might just have to," I say, trying to hide the fact that I was just in my head there for a second. "And let me tell you, it won't be pretty."
"Give me your worst, pretty girl."
I roll my eyes and pretend like those words didn't fill my stomach with butterflies.
Over JJ's shoulder I see flashing red and blue lights through the trees. Within a second, the other two notice too and we go sprinting back into the van. JJ's behind the wheel, turning the key to take off when I put a hand on his arm.
"Should we wait for them?" I ask.
"No, they said they would meet up with us at JJ's!" Pope says. I can hear the edge to his voice. He doesn't want to get caught and we can't wait for John B and Kie to make it back to us. Pope is right. I just have to believe they'll be able to run away.
"Okay, fine. Let's go."
~ ~ ~
John B and Kiara ended up getting arrested by Officer Shoupe and the only reason my brother is up and walking is because Kie's dad bailed him out. That probably only made him hate us even more, but I make a note to try to sweet talk him next time I work with him.
When we know Kie and John B are safe, the three of us separate. JJ has work and Pope wants to continue working on his essay. This leaves me alone with my thoughts which is exactly what I don't want. So instead, I grab my board and the keys to the Twinkie and take a ride to the beach.
Surfing is usually the best early in the morning, but I wasn't going to let a couple of lame waves pass me by. I let the water roll over me like a masseuse's hand, immediately feeling relaxed and open. For a few minutes I forget about my dad, my brother, Rafe, DCS, and the water bill that's waiting in my mailbox for me. I wasn't expecting this summer to be the summer of my life, but I also wasn't expecting a rocky start.
I pull myself out of the water when my fingers get too pruny and the water becomes so calm, I can hear my own thoughts again. Kie's surprisingly waiting by my stuff, sitting down on the sand and staring out into the water. Looks like I'm not the only one with a sprinting mind.
"Hey!" I say. "What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to help your dad out tonight at the Wreck."
"I am. I'm going there next," She says, grinning up at me. "I knew I'd find you here."
"Are you okay?" I ask her, feeling weary about her underwhelming mood. Usually she was the one to cheer me up, not the other way around. "Is your dad still really mad?"
Kie ignores my last question and stands up. She shoves her hands into her back pockets and sighs. "If I tell you something you have to promise me you won't tell anybody. Okay? Not even JJ."
"Okay..." I say skeptically.
"And the only reason I'm telling you is because I don't know how to process this and you're my closest friend and -"
"Kie, you're freaking me out. What happened?"
Kie stops and inhales sharply. "Okay. Um, well, John B kissed me."
My brows shoot up and my mouth drops to the sand. The remote in my brain presses pause and I don't know what to say. "He did?"
JJ finally got in his head. But from Kie's reaction, I don't think she had the same feelings JJ was so sure she had for my brother.
"Wow, okay." I whistle. "And?"
"And?" Kie look at me incredulously.
"Well, how was it?" I ask. Kie looks at me with disgust and then I realize we are talking about my brother. "Ew. Not like that. I mean, did you like it? Did you want him to kiss you?"
"No," Kie says. "I mean - I don't - no."
"We're friends," She says bluntly. "Plus you know the rule." I roll my eyes. I hate that stupid rule. "I just...I don't know why..."
"Well I mean you can't really blame the guy for making a move," I tell her. She looks at me like I just told her to go fuck herself. "I mean come on, Kie. You've been all over him for months now."
"No I haven't!"
I give her a pointed look. "Kie. You get more concerned with him than the others. You're touchy feely with each other. You even kissed him on the cheek!"
"We all kiss each other on the cheek!"
"Not like that," I scoff with a smile.
"Its not like we're like you and JJ," Kie retaliates.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh come on, Mar. We all know that you have that boy wrapped around your little finger. You guys are basically always all over each other. Just no one says anything anymore because it's been so long."
"I do not have that kid wrapped around my finger."
"Oh please -"
"I thought we were talking about you and my brother?" I stand back on my left foot and cross my arms. "I think you're deflecting."
"I'm not deflecting I'm just saying...I care about John B a lot...like a brother. I'm worried about him because he's being more reckless and taking higher risks and it's not like him. Not really. It's nothing like what you and JJ have."
I pretend like her words don't wrap me up in warmth like a fur coat. Because I don't want to believe her. Here comes my hope philosophy again. I think being rejected by JJ Maybank may actually kill me.
"Look, I have to go. If I'm late, my dad will kill me. I'll talk to you later okay?"
I nod and watch her leave, not sure what to think.
~ ~ ~
When I get home I find John B making a big pile of random shit from our house in the back yard, watching it burn with lighter fluid. I approach slowly but don't say anything. I haven't seen him since the Lighthouse. I don't know what kind of day he's had but something tells me it wasn't a good one.
I stand next to him in silence, neither one of us say anything, just finding comfort in the other one's presence. I look at the pinboard from Dad's office, taking in the black and white pictures and how each person had the compass. Who would have thought some piece of shit metal would mean so much to us now?
One of the pictures catches my particular attention. Olivia R. Routledge. Pope said Redfield was one of the most common names in the U.S. What if the R in her name stood for Redfield?
I grab a long branch that fell on the yard from Hurricane Agatha and push the pinboard closer to me. I step on the board until the fire is put out. John B watches me in confusion as I pick up the charred wood. In the picture, she's holding the compass too.
"What if Dad didn't mean to lead us to the Lighthouse?" I say, looking up at my brother for some kind of response. When he doesn't say anything, I continue. "What if Redfield is a maiden name?"
"Olivia Redfield Routledge," John B says.
"Yeah," I say softly. I turn back to the fire while John B processes my theory. I think about the conversation JJ and I had and suddenly feel guilty standing so close to my brother. I feel bad about everything that I said. Although I don't think any differently, I don't think I should have taken my anger about Dad out on John B. "I'm sorry," I finally say, keeping my eyes forward instead of at him. "For what I said last night and for trying to squash your dreams of reuniting with Dad someday." John B looks at me, surprised. "Its not fair for me to take that away from you."
I'll admit, I'm stubborn as hell. It takes a lot for me to apologize when I know I'm right. Even if I think I'm right about Dad, I was wrong with how I handled it. Having hope is a good thing. Even if I don't have any, I should let John B hold on to his for as long as possible.
"I'm sorry too," He says, causing me to snap my head in his direction. "What I said last night was out of line. I didn't mean it, I was just mad."
I nod my head and offer him a smile. I feel relieved that we're finally past our argument. Its been eating at me all day.
"So," I say. "Should we go find Ms. Olivia Redfield Routledge?"
~ ~ ~
John B and I pick up JJ and Pope first. Then we drive to the Wreck to snatch Kie during her shift. Pope goes to get her only to come out ten minutes later looking exasperated.
"She says she's not coming."
"Why not?" JJ asks, turning to my brother. "What'd you do to her, John B?"
"Shit." John B puts the car in park and opens his door. "Hold on. I'll deal with it."
John B runs up the ramp and disappears behind the entrance of the Wreck. JJ looks at me for some kind of answer, but I turn up the radio to avoid answering. Kie swore me to secrecy, specifically to JJ too. I can't tell him.
JJ switches off the radio and leans over the front seat to stare at me. "You know something."
"No I don't," I deny.
"Then why aren't you looking at me?"
"Because you're ugly," I respond quickly.
JJ smirks. "Pretty girl, you and me both know that's not true."
I look over at him, smiling. "Cocky much?"
"Only if you want me to be," He winks. I push him back by his head to the back of the van and laugh. "No but seriously. What did he do?"
"I'm not telling you."
"Why? You tell me everything." JJ comes back and looks at me suspiciously.
I turn to look directly in his eye and make sure to annunciate my words effectively. "My lips are sealed." I hold my stare for a couple seconds until my words click into his head.
He cracks an even bigger smile and falls back into his seat, shaking his head. "John B, you dirty dog."
"Ew. Stop," I grunt. I turn around to glare at him and threaten, "Say a word and I'll kill you."
A couple minutes later, both John B and Kie walk out of the restaurant. I can't read their facial expressions, but obviously whatever John B said worked otherwise Kie wouldn't come.
"Hey, Kie," I say when she opens the door and falls into the back seat.
"Hey," She grins, but avoids everyone's eyes. She doesn't want people to ask why she was being difficult in the first place.
John B drives us to the cemetery. By the time we get there, the sun has fallen and the sky is painted indigo, only making this journey so much more creepy.
"You mind if I just relax on this one?" JJ says as he wraps another blunt. "It's been a long day, and a lot of weird stuff's gone down. I'm just gonna lay low." He looks up at Pope who watches him with a narrowed glare. JJ offers his blunt. "Oh, did you want a hit of this?"
"I keep the signal clear."
"Dude, okay. Do you understand that your problem is that you don't get creative? If you got creative, then - "
John B cuts off their bickering - thank god. "Look, I know I was wrong about the Lighthouse, all right? And wrong about everything else going on. But I was right about one thing. Okay? My dad is trying to tell me something."
I follow John B out of the car and go to the back to let the others out. JJ still doesn't move to get out, forcing me to crawl up next to him and swipe the blunt out of his hand.
"Hey - "
"You can get this back after we raid a dead lady's tomb," I grin back at him and slide the blunt behind my ear.
Before he can grab me, I hop out of the car and jog towards the others. I hear another set of footsteps behind me and a grumbled whine. I smile to myself, knowing I got the kid out of the car.
"This place is scary," Kie says.
"John B, what are we doing?" Pope asks.
I answer for him. "You know how you're trying to remember a song and can't remember who sings it?"
"Yeah," Kie answers.
"So Redfield. This whole time, we thought it was a place, right? But it's not a place. It's a person."
We walk up to an old, run down mausoleum thats barely recognizable from all the vines and branches covering it. If we move them away, we would see Olivia's full name engraved in the stone.
"Voi-effing-la," JJ says.
"See, my great-great-grandmother Olivia Redfield," John B says. "That was her maiden name. Help me with the door. Come on."
John B and Pope try to push the door open, but it doesn't even move a lick of an inch. I can see the veins coming out of their arms and their eyes are shut tight as they push.
"Are you pushing?" Pope grunts.
"Yeah, I'm pushing," John B says.
"Come on," Pope says.
JJ walks over to them and stands next to Pope. "Hold on. I got it."
Even as all three boys try to push it open, it doesn't budge. I sigh, starting to feel upset that it isn't working. We didn't figure this out for it not to work.
"This door is like seven hundred pounds," Pope says, backing away from it. "It's not gonna budge."
"We didn't come this far to get this far, all right?" JJ says. "We got this."
The boys turn to push again, only to jump away when a snake slithers out of a hole at the top of the door.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!"
"That's a moccasin. All right," JJ says. "Ye olde Dr. Cottonmouth. Death in tall grass." JJ bends down and starts barking like a dog at it.
"JJ, shut up! Shut up!" Kie slaps him on the shoulder.
"You're gonna wake the dead, man." Pope glares.
"They're afraid of dogs. Everyone knows that man," JJ says. John B and Kie move closer to the door only for JJ to stop them. "Wait, hold on."
"What?" They both ask.
"If there's one, there's probably dozens."
"What?" Pope asks.
"All around," JJ says.
"Stop. You're scaring me," Kie hisses.
JJ continues to bark at the freaking snake and it's taking everything in me not to strangle him right now.
"Stop barking at the snakes!" John B says.
"Just making sure it's clear."
I look at the door again and follow the trail the snake came out of. The hole in the top of the door. It's tight, but big enough for someone to get through it.
"We're not gonna get in there, all right? It's not budging. We should probably just go," John B says, disappointed, which is enough for me to offer myself to the wolves...aka the dead.
"I can get through," I say, catching everyone's attention. I point at the hole in the top right corner.
"What?" JJ looks at me like I've grown two heads.
John B shakes his head. "No, no, no, no. You think you're gonna fit through the hole?"
"Look, this is about Dad," I tell him. "And honestly, I don't believe in it, but you deserve to know the truth. We both do."
John B hesitantly nods and I squeeze his shoulder lightly.
JJ turns to the door and starts picking off the vines and branches that would get in my way. John B and Pope stand next to him to help him and soon my great-great grandmother's name is visible again.
"You got it?" I ask.
"Yeah, we got it," JJ confirms. "I'm gonna boost you, all right," He says, squatting down with his hands out in front of him, palms facing up. "I've seen it in the movies several times. Ready?"
"Somehow that doesn't comfort me," I say. I turn to John B. "Remind me what we're looking for."
John B nods. "You'll know when you find it."
"Blunt," I say before turning to the door with a sigh. "Hold my flashlight."
"All right, so put your hands there," JJ directs me, motioning to his shoulders. "Yep. Foot...Your foot - all right, on three."
On the count of three, JJ boosts me up and I catch the edge of the hole and push myself through it. "Okay, flashlight?"
"Yeah, here." Pope hands me the flashlight.
I land on my feet and look around the creepy mausoleum. The dark space is covered in spiderwebs and dust. I feel like there are millions of bugs crawling over my skin and the shadow of a ghost in every corner.
"You alive?" John B asks. "You got, like a - a heartbeat and everything."
I roll my eyes. "So far."
"That's good. That's good," He says, more to himself than to me.
"I need more light," I tell them.
"Yeah, yeah. Here. Yeah, I got you." John B lifts his flashlight as close to the hole as he can. Although it doesn't help as much as I need it to, it's better than my one flashlight.
So far, nothing is popping out as unusual. The place is just grey stone and a home for creeping crawlers. I can't even force myself to look at the coffin behind me. If my dad thought to put some kind of clue in there, he was just being plain ol' cruel.
Suddenly my eyes stop on something poking out of the stone. Something that shouldn't be in here. I move closer to it, keeping my flashlight trained on the white flap.
"Did you find something?" JJ asks after I've become silent for too long. "Is there gold?"
I pull out the wide white envelope with shaking hands. Tears prick my eyes, threatening to fall when I read "Bird" and "Rocket" written across the front. This is from my Dad.
"Oh, my god." Is all I can manage to say.
Tag List: @notyourcupofteax @acvross-the-universe @jjmaybankzz @jeeperky @realistic-breadstick @moniamaybank @urbinoutfiters @brebear121 @x-lulu @freddymaybank @jjpouggues
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𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦 | 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐮𝐩 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 (𝟏𝟓)
hey y’all!! missed yall again ♡ hope y’all luvvv this chapter <3
also, thinking of making a new taglist for this soooo just reply to this post or send me an inbox if u wanna stay on this current taglist & lmk if u aren’t on it and want to be added!!
word count: 7.7k
warnings: age gap, smut
𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦 | 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧: 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐮𝐩 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬
You practically ran up to the edge of the cliff, only slowing down partially because Steve was yelling at you from behind. You couldn’t help it though, you were obsessed with the scenery already, and being able to see it from this point of view was probably the best part of hiking for you every time. You hadn’t gone for a while, not since you’d been home in Cali, and Steve surprised you this morning by telling you to get into some comfortable clothes you could easily move in. Half your wardrobe was that since you were always outside, so the request was easy to fill. You honestly hadn’t even been expecting it when Steve drove all the way to this beautiful woodsy hiking location upstate.
It was quiet, and there weren’t many other hikers on the trail, so it felt like you were alone together. You talked amongst yourselves, the low chatter of your voices complimenting the sounds of various birds flitting by and the crunch of the dirt and grass beneath your sneakers.
You walked at a slow pace, taking it all in. Your time with Steve was coming to a close, and you found yourself wanting to take more and more time to remember each and every single moment as clearly as you could. In your mind, you documented the warm, comforting breeze of the ever present summer on your skin, the low, rich timbre of Steve’s voice. You noted each and every bird sound you heard, promising to come back someday and bird watch at this very same location. Most of all, you made sure to sink into the warmth of Steve’s body bristling against yours every once in a while when you got closer on a narrow part of the path. You were committed to being in the moment and being mindful.
“Slow down, slow down!” Steve called from behind, and you just glanced at him over your shoulder with a well intentioned laugh, then looked back at the sky ahead of you.
You raised your hands up in the air, stretching your palms up to the sky and hooted, cheering about nothing in particular. Every smile, every laugh, every moment you tilted your face up to the vast, azur blue sky and let the sun beam down on your face, was genuine and triumphant.
“It’s fucking beautiful out here, Steve!” you exclaimed, puffing your chest out like you were trying to enclose the crisp, balmy air in your heart.
You were practically hysterical. You belonged in spaces like these, outside where you could share your thoughts with the trees or the water, or not think at all. You always felt your best when you were at the beach or on a hiking trail with your friends, finally able to let go of life’s vice grip on you. You were so much happier these days, in a constant state of healing, and the results were truly showing out.
“I’m glad you like it,” Steve chuckled at your excitement, kicking at the dirt beneath his feet.
“Come on, babe,” you beckoned him over, wanting him to bask in this moment with you.
He trudged over, and when he was close enough to reach out to, you lugged him over as much as you could. Although he was like a stone, his eyes still widened with worry when you nearly toppled over carelessly, despite the fact that you were on the ledge of a cliff.
“Slow down, doll, you’re gonna kill us both,” Steve huffed out a dry laugh, still smiling all the while.
You smiled smugly, glancing over at him with big doll eyes,
“You’d save me, though, I know you can.”
Steve just pulled you under his armpit, keeping you close. In the odd chance that you did fall in this moment, you’d probably be smiling all the way down, forgetting the agony that would be sure to come, all because you were with him. Maybe it was just the fresh air making you a little delusional, but you’d let yourself be delusional just for a moment.
“Let’s make sure no saving will be necessary, hmm?” Steve hummed, and you grinned, nuzzling your face up into his neck.
“Fair enough,” you sighed with a restless smile. “Seriously, thank you for taking me out here. It’s beautiful.”
Beautiful was an understatement. It was funny, you spent so much time outside but you couldn’t ever describe how much nature touched you. You didn’t have the words to describe the way the lush trees at the bottom seemed to sway with the wind, or the way the animals swooped from treetops and went along their merry ways, all while cohabitating peacefully, or the way the landscape looked from all the way up here.
Steve just pulled you closer, and you stood there in complete silence and stillness for a while, just watching as the sky drifted above you. Steve was glad you were the happiest he’d seen you, it seemed as though even though your days together were coming to a close, you were growing happier by the minute. You didn’t think your goodbye would be teary-eyed, because after this wonderful experience, you knew you’d both be sure to see each other again. You weren’t at all in the same place in your lives, that was for sure. You were just getting out of college and making a real life for yourself, meanwhile Steve was out saving the world and doing things you could only dream of doing. You weren’t comparing the two, but it was simply the truth. Neither of you were in the same place, but being here together now made you feel more united than ever. If it took a while to come to a place where you could always be together, then so be it. Right now, you’d just enjoy this moment while it lasted, without haste to plan for the future, because you both had full faith that things would work out.
“It’s funny, this is my first time going hiking. Like, on purpose. I’ve trekked through Sokovia and I’ve had to find my way out of multiple jungles and mazes before they blew up, but I’ve never just enjoyed it like this. On purpose,” Steve said after a while, and you grinned up at him, pleased that you were giving him more and more options to expand his personal hobbies and live outside of his work.
“I get the feeling that even though you’ve seen everything… there’s a lot you haven’t seen,” you noted, and Steve nodded.
That was exactly what he was trying to say. He’d done more than most people could ever dream of doing, he’d escaped danger in the nick of time a thousand times over, he’d saved lives, and yet, all the while, he hadn’t really lived himself. He learned a lot from his job and from the team he felt so grateful to be around on a regular basis, but amidst all the chaos of his daily routine, he’d forgotten to live. Sure, he had movie nights with his team and sometimes went out to eat with them, but there was so much more than that. So much that he hadn’t seen yet. You were showing him that there was, and he was showing you that there was space to trust and love. You shared a mutual core, full of life lessons and valuable exchanges.
“Yeah. Exactly that.”
You squeezed his hip as you started to turn around, facing away from the edge of the cliff and back to the trail, which you were almost finished hiking.
“Come on. Let’s go get something to eat.”
| | |
Steve was leaning against the arch of the open bathroom door, his head cocked in intrigue and admiration as he watched you do your makeup. You were finishing up, putting clear lip gloss on over the brown lip liner you’d used, a classic, 90s combo. You were gazing into the mirror, hardly acknowledging his presence for the purpose of perfecting your look, meanwhile, Steve was enthralled by you, despite the silence. You were also wearing a wine-colored minidress that clung to every inch and curve of your body, accentuating your best assets, which didn’t help with Steve’s staring problem at the moment.
You had your elbows resting on either side of the sink and you were leaning in, smoothing your lips together and puckering them the very minute you finished, adjusting your position in front of the mirror to get a better look at yourself. Finally, you paid Steve some attention, and glanced over at him.
“You ready?” you asked nonchalantly.
“The question is, are you?” Steve asked, raising his eyebrows.
You rolled your eyes playfully in response.
“You should be used to this by now, you know,” you sang, and Steve grinned, wrapping an arm around your bare shoulders as you came close.
“I know, I know. I kind of live for it, it’s so fun watching you do your makeup.”
“Want me to try doing yours someday?” you quipped excitedly.
“I’m not against it,” Steve chuckled.
Tonight you were going to a fancy restaurant for dinner, like, fancy fancy. The kind of fancy that even Steve wasn’t accustomed to. Steve had money, but he wasn’t a very sophisticated guy, he preferred to be more casual. You on the other hand, would probably fit right in. Your regal energy and poised way of carrying yourself made it that much easier. But, you were still fresh out of college, and you weren’t a rich girl by any means. So of course you got excited when you got to get all dolled up to do something very nice.
You and Steve sat at a table near the back, the restaurant lighting dim and dark, a candle flickering between the two of you as the sun set outside. You toyed with the rim of your wine glass, taking careful sips so you didn’t mess your lip gloss up. To Steve’s lament, you would only let him kiss you on the cheek, because you didn’t want to ruin your finely crafted lip gloss.
As nice as it all was, both you and Steve couldn’t help but be reminded of the fact that you’d be leaving soon, and that your days together were coming to a close. You were both levelheaded enough not to get too sad about the fact, but it was admittedly bittersweet. But you decided you’d at least make light of it, and smiled smugly at Steve,
“What are you gonna do when I’m gone, lover boy?”
Steve glanced up at you, that charming smile teasing his lips as his blue eyes gazed into yours.
You tilted your head to the side as if you were challenging him,
“You gonna call me every night?”
“Whenever possible,” Steve replied warmly, and you continued,
“Gonna send me flowers still?”
“Of course,” Steve affirmed.
You giggled to yourself, thinking of your last question,
“Are you gonna watch my cam show?”
Steve laughed, shaking his head,
“Who would I be if I didn’t support my girl?”
You grinned fully, reaching over to squeeze Steve’s cheek,
“You’re so precious.”
“Uh,” Steve cleared his throat. “I actually wanted to ask you something.”
“Yeah?” you furrowed your brows, interested in what he had to say.
He seemed nervous, wringing his hands together slightly before placing them on his lap and under the table so you wouldn’t worry about him. He had been thinking about this for a while now, and he’d already talked to you about it, but even after the discussion you had, he’d still been grappling with whether or not he should go through with this. He didn’t want it to feel like he was moving too fast or putting undue pressure on you, because he knew how important it was for you to live in the moment. Because of you he found himself questioning a lot of what he thought was true or moral. You had a good head screwed on your shoulders and you were still much more relaxed than Steve, not as focused on tradition or expectations. But he still found himself wanting to settle things down officially with you.
Looking into your caring eyes, he knew he wasn’t making a mistake, that despite all the trials and tribulations of your relationship together in the past, he’d regret it if he never got to know you. He could’ve never imagined being in this position, but by the look in your eyes, which were glittering and shining with pure, contagious joy whenever you saw him, he knew this wasn’t something he wanted to miss out on. He was about to forget himself and sink into how beautiful you were, as if he didn’t have other things at hand, but he remembered himself at the perfect time.
“I-I’m not always so great with words, so bear with me,” Steve started.
“Steve,” you giggled cheerily. “Spit it out babe, it’s okay.”
Your reassurance seemed to resurrect him and he chuckled, shaking his head and rubbing his temples. Then he looked up again, taking your hand and gazing into your eyes, never ceasing eye contact.
“YN. I really like you, alright? And this is something so new and so odd for the both of us. I mean, I don’t know anyone who’s had what we have and I know a lot of weird people - not that this is weird, but-”
You chuckled, scoffing,
“Well it’s definitely not normal.”
You reached across the table, squeezing Steve’s hand. He grinned, chuckling back and nodded, continuing,
“Yeah. Definitely. And, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. About labels and what we talked about, and I know you’re not looking to rush into anything too soon because of how you’ve been treated in the past but…” here, Steve almost got emotional, thinking of how special you were to him, unable to believe that you’d been treated so poorly in the past— all he wanted was to show you just how you made him feel. “But I just want to treat you right, and make you happy because well, you make me happy. And it’s… it’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way. And I’m sure that for you and me both, these feelings are rare. And I can treat you the same regardless of whether or not we put a label on it, but, selfishly I want you, fully… all to myself. So, let’s make it official. Will you be my girlfriend, YN?”
Few moments felt as good as this one, and you’d remember this moment for years to come. Few questions rung so pleasant to your ears. And when you heard those words leave Steve’s lips, you knew you had never been more certain that you wanted to be with someone. All relationships started out in the honeymoon phase, but when it came to Steve, you didn’t feel like things would change drastically after this phase. And sure, you were just meeting, in real life, that is. In reality, you had known Steve for a few months, and you’d been getting closer for a long time now. So, you probably would’ve said yes to Steve even if he asked you on the second day you were together.
But your respect for Steve rose way up because he’d actually taken his time, had a conversation with you about it, and made up his mind. The fact that he had put all this thought into it was a testament to Steve’s character, which made you giggle because despite his stoic demeanor he was kind of a nervous wreck, and the strength of the connection you had. But you didn’t even have time to think about how wonderful this all was. All you knew was that you wanted to say yes.
“Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend,” you bit down on your lip, just barely restraining a cheeky smile before you leaned in and kissed him again. The kiss was sweet, interrupted by laughter and your smiles against each others’ lips. “Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.”
You kissed him again and again, you kissed him so much that you barely had any lip gloss on when you managed to stop yourself to catch breath. When you pulled away, Steve had this kind of awestruck look on his face, his lips wet with your lip gloss, wanting more of your lips like you hadn’t just given him your all.
You snickered at the sight of his glossy lips, almost arrogantly noting,
“It’s a good look on you. My lip gloss.”
Steve grinned sheepishly, looking down at the table, relieved. He didn’t really have any reason to be worried, that was just in his nature. His heart had never felt so warm, he’d never felt so satisfied. You’d always been his, but now he had you, truly and officially.
“Were you nervous to ask me this?” you asked, still holding his hand from across the table.
Steve breathed out a laugh,
“God, yeah. I was just hoping you wouldn’t feel pressured. I know how important your mental health journey has been for you, I didn’t want to make it feel like we have to put a label on anything before you’re ready—”
“Steve, if I weren’t ready to be your girlfriend, I probably would’ve stayed my ass at home in Cali,” you chortled, making him blush, because he sort of knew he was overthinking it. “But really though, I wouldn’t be upset even if you didn’t ask me. What we have sort of obliterates the whole boyfriend and girlfriend niche, yeah? It’s kinda like… next level, don’t you think? I mean, how many people can say they’re in our situation? Like, this exact situation. This is like, long distance relationships made epic.”
“Good point,” Steve nodded, agreeing— what you had was probably eons more powerful than the typical “boyfriend and girlfriend” situation.
“It’s just, kind of a plus, you know?” you cocked your head to the side, shrugging. A mischievous, contagious smile spread to your lips. “I get to call myself Captain America’s girlfriend. Bitches write fanfiction about that.”
What? How could anyone blame you for getting cocky about who your official boyfriend was? You didn’t care for competition, but you’d selfishly admit that it was an ego booster to know that you had a man like him all to yourself, and that he wanted you all for him.
“You think you’re the lucky one, look at me. I got you,” Steve’s eyes slowly scanned your face, meeting your eyes again with a wistful smile.
“My girlfriend, YN,” he said out loud. He just wanted to try it out, and it sounded so right to the both of you.
“I like that,” you cooed.
“Me too,” Steve kissed your nose. “Oh, I almost forgot.”
He dug out a slip of paper from his pocket and handed it to you, watching you unravel it.
“Just a little something I drew, meant to give it to you as part of this whole ‘making it official’ ordeal,” he put quotes in the air. “A little gift.”
“Steve,” you pouted. “You’re way too nice to me.”
“Well, you’re my girl. I can’t be mean, can I?” Steve’s lip quirked up in a quizzical smile.
“Mm-mm,” you shook your head. “Not unless I tell you to.”
Steve couldn’t even decipher what you meant by that fast enough because you had squealed, your mouth flinging to your hand.
“Steve, Steve, holy shit. Is this what I think it is?” you sat up, alert, facing him.
“Just a little sketch, it’s not the best but I can—”
“Steve, shut up! You’re literally fuckin’ amazing, are you kidding me? This is… amazing.”
What it was was a drawing. Not just of anything, but of a logo he’d created for you. Specifically, what would soon be the logo for your online clothing brand. It had only just kicked off the ground and you were hopeful for its future. So Steve drawing something like this, no matter how average he thought it was or how little time it took him was something so heartfelt to you. This was something you’d hold on to even more than the flowers, even more than the hotel rooms and private jets, even more than the fancy five star restaurant dinners.
Because if there was anything Steve was proving to you time and time again, it was that he was the right one for you. You wanted to be with someone who would encourage your dreams, give you that push, and acknowledge that you had your own life outside of your relationship. And even though it was something minor at the forefront, when you really got down to it it was something so personal.
“Ahh, I haven’t really drawn for real in quite some time, I just wanted you to have that. You can use it, for your clothing brand if you want,” Steve shrugged, all bashful like usual.
“If I want? I’m literally gonna flaunt this everywhere. Hello, my boyfriend made it? No one will know, but I will, and that’s what matters.” You leaned in, kissing his lips and folding the paper again so you could put it in your pocket. “Thank you, baby. For… literally everything. Thank you.”
“Steve, take the thanks. You deserve it. Thank you.”
Steve grinned lazily,
You just gazed at him, your eyes inadvertently glazing over with tears. You were really sitting in front of the man of your dreams, and this time around you had no doubts about it. The old you would’ve been so resistant to love again. Steve made loving again so easy for you. And you couldn’t forget how you’d pushed yourself to love yourself again, because that made things like this a whole lot easier. But, rather than turn this into another mushy moment, your feelings were so overwhelming that you were feeling things everywhere. Everywhere. And who were you to prohibit your primal needs?
You stood up suddenly, brushing your hands against your dress, which once again caught Steve’s attention as you stood up. His eyes were already raking over you by the time you approached him on his side of the table, outstretching a hand to him, saying nothing until he took it and stood up beside you.
“Come on,” was all you uttered, glancing back at him only once as you led him further to the back of the restaurant, casually navigating your way to the restroom, unconcerned with anything in the moment that didn’t have to do with him.
“Where are we—” you swung the restroom door open and dragged him inside, locking it with finesse, “going…”
Without responding, you furiously pressed your lips against Steve’s, pushing up against him and getting him hard in an instant. Your palms smushed into his cheeks and you moaned into his mouth, delirious with the need for him. Steve was shocked, but not at all against it, he had just never seen you act so impulsively before. And the same could be said for him— once you put your soft lips against his, all common sense seemed to dissipate from his mind. He was just as into it, his hands grazing all around your body like he was looking for something and you were the only way he could find it, squeezing every part of you he could squeeze through this dress. He rocked his hips into you, grunting into your lips as he felt his cock throb against the fabric separating the two of you.
He pulled away, panting, his forehead creased in concentration as he cursed under his breath.
“Fuck. Turn around baby,” he spun you around so you were facing the mirror and your body was up against the sink before you even had the chance to move yourself.
You gasped when you felt cool air against your ass before you even expected it, and you moaned instinctively. Steve left love marks on your ass, gentle and kind, before he made his way to your pussy, on his knees and standing behind you leaned your body against the bathroom sink. You were lucky this was a fancy bathroom that neither of you minded getting down and dirty in— the mirrors had golden frames and the counter was sparkling clean, made out of marble just like the floor which Steve was kneeling on. He inched his face closer to your center and licked a fat strip up your pussy, causing you to moan out carelessly.
He focused on tasting you, closing his eyes and truly enjoying the moment. All that could be heard aside from the movement outside of the restroom were your moans and the sound of his tongue fucking deep into your wet pussy, slick, filthy noises coming from your heat.
“You taste so good, baby,” he moaned against your pussy, his words sending a shock through your body, making you squeeze around his tongue.
You were panting now, your moans short and high pitched, glancing back at him every now and then, then back at your fucked out face in the mirror. You arched your back when he hit a certain spot, twirling his tongue around inside you and kneading your ass with his hands.
“Oh,” you cried out, reaching out behind you and grabbing tufts of his hair, pushing his head and face deeper into your pussy and keeping it there with a strong hold. Steve’s moans were muffled, he was overwhelmed by your sweet scent and the way you were forcing his face down. He only pulled away when he felt your pussy start to pulsate around his tongue, leaving you to whine in dissatisfaction while he stood directly behind you, pressing himself against your ass.
“Steve,” you complained, pouting at him.
“I know, I know. I just— I have to fuck you, is that okay, doll? Can I fuck you?” he practically cooed into your ear from behind, lips tickling against the nape of your neck, then sneaking around to press chaste kisses on your cheek.
You bit down on your lip and nodded vigorously, humming in approval,
“Good girl,” he praised you, making you throb around nothing while he pulled his pants down, his dick springing out of his boxers, and steadied himself at your entrance, kissing all against your neck in the process and leaving love bites that made you yelp out. He grinned against you, whispering in your ear as he trailed his hand along the front of your dress, tugging down so your boobs nearly fell out of the dress.
“You look so pretty tonight, baby. Look at you,” Steve nodded at the mirror in front of you and you whined, trying to buck your hips back into him because you just wanted him inside of you. “Fucking hell. Wearing that dress… your makeup looks perfect.”
He cupped your face, admiring it from behind in the mirror for a second, then he continued,
He finally slid into you, his cock already throbbing inside of you. You cried out and gasped at the feeling of being stretched out just the way you liked, by the only man you wanted.
“Fuck, Steve!” you moaned his name loudly, immediately starting to rock your ass back into his hips, feeling him all the way inside of you, spreading you out each time you took him completely.
You grabbed at his arm from behind you, his hands steadying on your waist and pushing your ass back down onto him so you could take him all the way each time. You panted, feeling like you were being seared open by his thick cock in the best way imaginable. When you looked at yourself in the mirror, you took notice of how fucked out you looked, the force of Steve’s thrusts making your body bump against the sink, your mouth was open in an o-shape, your vision blurred because of how often your eyes kept rolling back into your head. Steve was focused on his cock disappearing in and out of you, his eyes on your ass, bringing down a broad hand to your ass and grasping your flesh in his hands.
“Steve,” you gasped, looking back at him. You took some time to catch your breath, Steve glancing up at you momentarily. “R-remember when I said you can’t be mean unless I tell you to?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, his hand coming up to stroke the small of your back, just wanting to feel your smooth skin.
“Be mean to me, baby,” you pleaded, giving him those eyes that set him off every time.
That was all it took for Steve to start slamming into you shamelessly, wrecking your pussy each time he pounded into you. He grasped onto your arms suddenly, holding them behind your back with one hand while the other lay to rest just above your ass. You cried out at the painful, pleasing sensation of Steve absolutely pounding you, and he chuckled deviously,
“Shh, doll. Wouldn’t want anyone to hear you screaming for me. Or would you?”
Pursing your lips forcefully to keep from making any noise, you shook your head strongly, but you couldn’t help the whimper that escaped from the back of your throat when he hit your g-spot. Steve shook his head, looking up at himself in the mirror,
“Mm-mm, wouldn’t want that.”
Trying desperately to keep quiet, you strained your neck to try and look back at him and what he was doing. But he shook his head, leaning down to grab your face and force your head the other way.
“Don’t look at me,” he commanded, his voice dark and deep. “Look at yourself.”
You looked up, orgasmic tears forming in your eyes as you did so, catching sight of yourself in the mirror getting fucked to the heavens, arms stretched behind your back, breasts bouncing each time Steve fucked into you. The look on Steve’s face was beyond you— he was almost sneering at the sight of the two of you in the mirror, the smug look on his face intensifying each time you had to stifle a moan or stop yourself from screaming his name. You’d never seen him like this before, and you were so glad you’d pulled it out of him in the little amount of time you had left together.
“Fuck,” Steve groaned when you felt you squeeze around him, his voice becoming breathier and lower, almost accusatory of your pleasure, “you like this, don’t you?”
You whimpered in response, nodding your head violently, and Steve grunted, slamming his hips up into you and bringing a hand down to play with your clit as if praising your response. His own voice became more and more unhinged, his thrusts growing sloppier and less focused, his eyes zeroing in on your expression in the mirror,
“You love getting fucked like this, don’t you? Wh-where anyone could hear… f-fuck, doll, I can feel you squeezing my fu… fucking cock. Come for me, YN.”
That was all it took, an ear splitting moan falling from your lips as you practically convulsed, coming on Steve’s cock, not bothering to stop rocking your hips back. Soon after you came, Steve’s dirty talk became nothing more than unintelligible blabbering, and he came hard inside of you. Breathing deeply, he slid lazily in and out of you just a few more times, fucking all his cum back into you. He pulled out, and you fell against the sink with a sigh. You both cleaned up, and Steve smiled at you before you both left the restroom.
“Thank you,” you said stupidly, still delirious from how hard he’d fucked you.
Steve chuckled, shaking his head playfully and putting an arm around you to stabilize you,
“No problem. Come on, let’s pay and get you home.”
That night, you slept better than ever, your boyfriend Steve holding you in his arms.
| | |
Once you woke up the next day, Steve decided to take you to this nice brunch place, flipping on his hat and glasses since it was a little crowded, but not anything too worrisome. Besides, you had made it this far without Steve being recognized, and you realized that in New York, nobody was really paying attention to anyone.
Last night had been fantastic, in so many ways. You and Steve had made it far enough to actually become official, to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. And although you knew the distance between you would be hard to deal with at times, you knew Steve would find a way to make it work. He never had you second guessing or doubting important decisions, because you knew that out of anyone you’d ever been romantically involved with, he had his shit together the most. He was actually focused on treating you well, and he had all the resources and the common sense to do just that. So, the distance didn’t quite scare you, in fact, it was probably less of an issue for you two than other long distance couples. Hell, you’d made it far enough without actually meeting.
As per usual, Steve opened your car door, then held your hand all the way inside the restaurant. You’d eat and then go home and find some random hobby to do with each other, like board games or finally finishing the Harry Potter movies, or just staying in and cuddling the whole night. You got seated at a table in the back and talked about nothing in particular while you waited for the waiter to come around.
You had your hand on top of Steve’s, squeezing it absentmindedly while you scrolled through your phone, reading text messages from your friends back at home. You knew Steve wasn’t a huge fan of your phone, but it wasn’t a habit that you pulled it out while you were meant to be hanging out together. Besides, you had a whole digital life that you had to keep up with for your own sake, consisting of your cam career and your online shop. It’d be silly if you tried to disconnect completely.
“Hi, good to see you today, my name is Richard, I’ll be serving you today! Can I get you guys started with some drinks?” Richard asked, cupping his hands together with an expectant smile.
“Waters for the both of us,” Steve nodded, and you added on, glancing at the waiter quickly.
“Lemonade for me too, please,” you added on.
“Awesome, I’ll be right…” Richard the waiter trailed off and you both glanced up at him, but he had paused, staring at Steve, his face contorted in slight confusion. Steve offered him a small, almost pitying smile, and you couldn’t help but huff, humored. Richard cocked his head and tapped his pen against his notepad before shaking his head slightly, snapping out of it. “Sorry, it’s just… you look so familiar.”
You and Steve exchanged a glance, both of your eyes whipping to meet each other, before you broke away and looked back at Richard. You were both slightly unnerved by the comment. In a way, it was so nonchalant, a casual remark. But Steve wasn’t just any other guy who you’d say that to. Chances were, this guy was about to recognize just who Steve was. You almost wanted to cover for him, but you feared that doing that would make things too obvious. You’d let Steve handle this, although you could see the hint of nerves in the smile that appeared on his face as he shrugged quite convincingly,
“I couldn’t tell you why, honestly.”
Richard chuckled, huffing,
“It’s just, I swear I’ve seen you before, are you like— have you come here before?”
Steve just laughed, but you could sense his discomfort, and you squeezed his hand a little harder,
“Sometimes. You might’ve seen me.”
Richard nodded with a decided hum, then shrugged,
“Yeah, that’s probably it.”
Steve’s shoulders visibly slumped in relief, and you smiled quietly.
“Well, I’ll be right back with those drinks,” Richard, turning around.
Once he was completely out of sight, Steve sighed heavily, leaning in to you at the table.
“I think we should go,” was all he said, and you frowned slightly,
“We just got here…”
“I know, but that guy… listen, we haven’t paid for anything. Let’s just go. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. I just don’t think—”
“Okay,” you cut him off, smiling calmly.
Things were going so well, you didn’t want Steve to feel like you wouldn’t listen to him when it was important. You also didn’t want him to worry too much. You could see that he was trying to refrain from sounding as nervous as he was because he didn’t want to upset you, so, out of respect, you decided you wouldn’t push him any further. This was the first time either of you had to worry that someone had noticed Steve, and although it could truly just be a fluke totally unrelated to his actual identity, neither of you wanted to take that risk. So, you just agreed with him.
Steve got up gingerly, and nodded at you to do the same.
“Come on,” Steve said, lacing his fingers between yours, a sense of relief rushing through you.
For a moment there, you feared that his anxiety might get the best of him and that he wouldn’t pay any attention to you, but he had proved you wrong. He gave your hand a squeeze as the two of you ducked out of the restaurant as nonchalantly as you could. When you were finally outside on the sidewalk, you both walked back to Steve’s car, not looking back.
The car ride home was silent other than the music Steve put on to distract himself from his thoughts. He truly was trying to remain stable rather than let his nerves get the best of him. He hadn’t quite let his guard down, but he also didn’t feel as if he’d be recognized. He was getting too comfortable— no, he was just doing what was right, taking you out and taking care of you. He wouldn’t let himself sink into blaming himself or anyone else.
You were both far past that, far from fear and holding yourselves back from what you truly wanted, which was to be together and feel like you could do that without inhibitions. You both understood the conditions under which you’d be meeting in person, and you understood that Steve needed to keep this under wraps for the sake of privacy and safety. You had grown enough not to let these conditions hinder you, you wouldn’t start now just because of a little hiccup.
“Steve,” came your voice, distracting him from the loop of thoughts replaying in his brain as you both walked into the apartment.
“Hm?” he turned to face you, and you grabbed his hand gently, a small, reassuring smile on your lips.
You led him to the living room couch and you both sat down, facing each other.
“Let’s talk about it, okay? You’ll feel better if you just talk to me about it instead of letting it bother you in silence,” you directed, and he took in a deep breath before sitting back and nodding understandingly.
You wanted to at least solve the problem before it spiraled into a bigger one, and if it meant you had to sit on the couch and talk about it, then so be it. You’d rather a hard discussion than any issues.
“It’s not that I’m paranoid, it’s just… I don’t want anything to be ruined because of me. You know, I’ve been enforcing all these rules and… I just care about our privacy and safety the most.”
“You do know that I’d never blame you for anything, right? You do know that?” you asked him, tilting your head as you waited for him to make eye contact with you and answer you honestly.
He did eventually, nodding and cracking a small grin,
“I know. I… I don’t want it to seem like one small thing would ruin my mood, I don’t want you to think I’m as scared as I used to be.”
“I don’t think you are though, Stevie,” you said softly as you stroked his cheek, your long acrylic nails gently running along his skin.
He seemed to calm down immediately from your touch, his facial expression softening, but you could tell he was still upset with himself. You grinned to yourself. You liked being able to make Steve feel better with just a trivial touch. You knew your presence actually meant something to him, and that sentiment meant everything to you. You knew he just wanted to keep you safe, especially considering the circumstances of your relationship, but you didn’t want him getting too worked up. You could handle yourself and Steve knew that, but having him next to you in situations like this was just a plus— after all, there was a reason why the guy only approached you once he’d seen Steve had left.
“It’s okay, Steve. Really. I get it, it’s unexpected and worrisome. Neither of us really were prepared for that. I think you handled it amazingly. Don’t think this diminishes all the progress we made, alright?” you let your hand slip down to his, and gave it a squeeze. “Because it doesn’t. Okay?”
“Okay,” Steve chuckled, and you could tell by the smile in his laugh that he was resigning.
He was truly enjoying spending time with you like a normal couple would. He wasn’t peeking over his shoulder, he was just being careful. But he knew the risks he was taking. And he knew he’d just have to roll with the punches, that he couldn’t let one moment change everything for the worse. You were practically reading Steve’s mind, because based on his reaction, you knew exactly how he felt, and you already had all the words you’d need to console him.
You held his hand tight, as if to remind him that he needn’t be so hard on himself or be afraid that you doubted him in any way. As if to remind him you weren’t going anywhere. He couldn’t deny that your touch made a considerable impact on his mood, as well as your presence. Just your presence seemed to radiate whatever he needed in the moment, and at that moment, it was calm.
“Don’t feel worried that you made the wrong decision by bringing us here today. I had the best time. This small inconvenience doesn’t fuck up the fact that I just had an amazing day with you, okay?”
Steve nodded slowly, though you could tell it took a lot for him to take the blame off himself. You weren’t sure that he was fully convinced, but at least he seemed a little less out of it.
“I’m glad you understand, YN. But I have to take responsibility. I’m not going to become all paranoid again, but I just think it’d be best to lay low for a minute and recover. I really do want to show you everything, I just-”
“Steve, calm down,” you tittered, shaking your head. “I don’t need to see everything. I came here to see you, not tour New York. As long as I’m with you, I don’t care. We could go out every day or we could stay in. I know you’d make the effort either way. Besides, we only have so much time left together, and I feel like you’ve shown me the entire world.”
It was true— Steve had proven to you that he cared time and time again, whether it was through flying you out or taking you out without you having to ask. It was the little things. The way he poured just the right amount of sugar in your coffee in the morning, helped you zip up your dresses in the morning, let you blast your music in the car. He seemed to think he needed to prove himself, and you wanted to show him that he had already done that, and more.
Steve chuckled, and you squeezed his thigh, kissing his cheek. He turned to face you, leaning in to kiss you on the lips this time. You shifted closer to him, leaning in until you were close enough to rest your palms on his cheek, climbing into his lap and deepening the kiss. Slow, passionate, and quiet, you sat there kissing each other. You kissed each other like you were trying to savor the taste of one another’s lips, like you were trying to remember it for the rest of your lives. You kissed like you were sharing secrets.
It was only a matter of time before you were taking off your shirt and kissing him harder, grinding against him and riding him slow on the couch in the bright daylight. You were gentle and slow, it was more like you were making love than just fucking. And by the time you were done, passed out and sweaty on the couch hours later, all your worries had been fucked away.
| | |
Tomorrow was your last day with Steve. You’d be flying back home to California the next day, and saying goodbye. But not just yet. You had all the time in the world to say goodbye, but today you were both devoted to spending a beautiful, eventful day together. Steve had stuff planned for you, and you had stuff planned for Steve. You had mutually agreed to skip all the crying and pouting, and just be happy for the experience instead. So when you woke up that morning next to Steve, who was still asleep, you were giddy to start the day.
Absentmindedly, you picked up your phone on the end table beside you. It was positively buzzing with notifications, and you were a bit thrown off by the sheer amount of them. You furrowed your eyebrows as you skimmed through the notifications from the bottom to the top— you had a bunch of missed calls from your parents, more Snapchat notifications on your regular snap than ever, and a plethora of texts.
You wondered if something had happened, chewing slightly on your bottom lip. Was everything okay at home? Did you post something meant for your cam site on your Instagram? A hundred various circumstances fled through your mind, but none of the situations you had made up could’ve prepared you for when you opened a text from Aaliyah with a picture attached. It read:
- Attachment: 1 image
- BITCH, THIS IS LITERALLY YOU!!!
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I read and reviewed this book on Good Reads called The Random Kids Book of Questions. I was bored so here the answers to the 260 questions!
1. If you were a ruler of the world and you could have anything you wanted as well as have people do anything you wanted do you think you would get greedy and mean or would be a good and fair ruler.
(The best I could I’d be a good and fair ruler because I know it feels to be mistreated and I’d never want someone else to feel that way. So my past relationships with people and the things I experienced would always be in the back of my mind as I lead. And also I’ve seen the damage of a HORRID leader this year that would also be a motivating force)
2. Do you think men or women (boys or girls in the book) have it easier?
(I definitely think males in general have it easier. They don’t have to deal with things like menstrual cycles or pregnancy or giving birth. A lot of times they also have the luxury to not get overly emotional in situations and can get away from things that cause hurt time after time and walk away with no consequences or thought to what they’ve done).
3.If your mother promised to be home at 2:00 in the afternoon to take you to the movies but didn’t show up until suppertime and didn’t phone, what would be a good punishment for her? Would punishing her be likely to make her on time in the future?
(Being on time is SO important. No one had this down like my grandfather. I remember when I use to work and I use to be the last one in the parking deck because someone wasn’t on time to pick me up. It would make me SO ANGRY! But I think a good punishment would be tit for tat. It’s hard to imagine my mother ever not on time for anything (she’s not a late person generally). But I think I’d do the same thing to her. I’d be late for something she wanted to do. I have no idea if that would be an effective punishment because like I said my mother is never late for anything.)
4 If all your best friends were willing to be absolutely honest and tell you exactly what they liked most about you and what they liked least about you, would you want them to?
(Yes! As a matter of fact, two friends of mine called me from Georgia on three way. I remember asking the male what he did and didn’t like about me. His answer was your not ready for that and didn’t give me an answer. Umm, I wouldn’t have asked you if I didn’t want to know. I just let it go. But my feelings are that paper-thin)
5.Would you rather have a strict teacher that was fair and taught well or a teacher who was relaxed and fun and didn’t teach well?
(Hmm I’ve had both. When I was in high school the strictest teacher, I had was a lady named Miss Henry and she taught History. That lady was CONSTANTLY on my case. Until one day I practically DEVORED my history book and the next time I went to class I was spitting out answers to her quiz left and right. I was on FIRE. She leaned back and looked at me and said “Alright Spencer” That lady had a new respect for me and after that she was never on me again. Then I had a relaxed teacher named “Cool” (Mr. Bryant) that taught art (and barely taught Art). So I wanna say the strict teacher that taught well. But I think you need both that hard teacher that’s gonna push the best out of you. But you also need that teacher that’s not gonna demand that much from you so you can have that class that’s just laid back. They don’t *all* need to be strict and pile work on you.
6. One day your father gets a really weird idea and dyes his hair green. Knowing everyone would be looking at him and snicker would you go to the shopping center with him if he wanted your company?
Well considering no way in HELL would my Dad dye his hair because he’s in his 70’s, nor would he have done this when I was a kid sure why not. Today though who knows he might start a trend as colored hair is *in*and people might be looking at him like “That man’s hair is COOL!” What kinda green are we talking though? Neon? Lime? Whole head? A strand?
7. When you make a mistake, do you make up excuses? If so do you think people believe you?
If I make a mistake, I usually don’t make up excuses I usually just try to fix it (if it’s fixable). But usually I’ll just say I did it. For example, the lens came out of my glasses and while the person I told wasn’t happy and told me I was careless and laid my glasses in my purse for things to get on top of them, the lecture was over quick. I do a time or too tho try to make excuses. Sometimes they believe me. Sometimes they don’t. Depends on the day and the excuse I guess.
8.If you could have a round-trip ride in a time machine and travel any distance into the past or future, where would you want to go?
Hmm! So, does this mean we get to actually change the past or future or is this like a DC Legends of Tomorrow thing where we aren’t supposed to alter the events of time? I’d go back and re-visit the 80s to the time when I smelled chocolate chip cookies baking and it was raining outside and I was sitting on the floor watching PINWHEEL while it was pouring down raining and I didn’t have a care in the world.
9. If a friend had an important secret and didn’t want other people to learn about it, would telling you the secret be a big mistake.
That’s a *TOUGH* one. I have kept secrets when people have told me don’t tell whoever. But if I’m being honest yes I’d rather they didn’t tell me the secret because I’m way to open with even my own information and that’s a fault in myself I need to work of. I don’t think it would be a mistake but I rather they didn’t tell me so I wouldn’t be tempted to tell it.
10. If your parents were worried about a serious problem that had nothing to do with you directly would you want them to tell you about it or would you rather not know?
My mothers both tell me serious problems all the time that don’t directly have anything to do with me. Some have to do with work. Some have to do with people they know. I like they feel like they *can* gell me and I wouldn’t change that. Definitely if they were worried about something. I may not be able to help but I could always listen.
11. What would you do if everyone in your family forget your birthday?
LMBO There is absolutely NO WAY this would happen! The one thing my family won’t forget is a birthday. This year my cousin Jay went around telling everyone it was my birthday. One of my cousins did forget and I fake acted like I was mad. But seriously there have been birthdays when I was the one wishing they wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. I certainly wasn’t. But they were all like what are we gonna do for your birthday? What are we gonna do for your birthday? I’m not a go all out it’s your birthday person but if everyone forgot it I’d be quietly disappointed but thank goodness that’s never been the case.
12. How would you act differently if you had a younger sister who idolized you and tried to copy everything you did? What things do you think your parents do only because they want to set an example for you?
Simply put I’d try to be a better sister because… I’d always try to make time for my little sister. I’d take an interest in her interest and show her encouragement and support and find a better way than to nag her to death. I wouldn’t wait until it was too late to try to get to know her and I’d always try to communicate with her no matter how old we got. There are some things my mother (biological) does to set an example such as stay on my case about the things I drink (Kool aide mixes, cokes, etc) because she’s seen friends that have had to have kidney treatments and she doesn’t want me to have to go through that. Most of the things she stays on me about are things are to teach me lessons such as don’t wait till the last minute to do things or health things that will help me live longer.
13. If you were alone and had only a few minutes to hide from crooks who were about to break into your house, where would you hide? What’s the best hiding place in your house?
I thought the best place would be the attic. Weirdly enough I’ve never been up there. But it’s not a cool attic. I think it has some installation pipes but I think it’s the only out of the way place that would be totally out of sight. Now if I were closer to the basement there’s an alcove where it slants, I might try to fit myself in there. 9xs out of time I’d panic and probably hide somewhere obvious like in the closet (which I can tell you from experience is NOT a good hiding place). LONG STORY! If I were in the kitchen, I might try to slip out the back door and run down the street to my Dad’s house and call the police. Oops (imitating Hagrid) I shouldn’t have told u that. Uh robbers if you reading this (this) is a bot blog..
14. Do you think you have too many chores? If you could assign the chores in your house which ones would you take for yourself?
As an adult answering this and not a kid there will *always* be chores. You don’t think oh it’s too many. You just think oh they have to get down. But I think if I had to split I’d do the washing and cleaning of the house and they’d do the cooking. Or we could switch. Or even better we could share em.
15. Some adults have a lot of trouble enjoying themselves. If you were asked to give them advice about how to play and have more fun what would you say?
Well answering this as a kid I’d say you just have to put those papers down and step away from the stove and all the bills and just DO IT! I’d probably have to take stuff out of their hands and turn off the tv and suggest something like let’s go to the park. Let’s go to the toy store. Let’s go to the beach. I was lucky as a kid I had a fun aunt that always wanted to do things like take a bus to a science museum or go to a ice show or an interactive play center. Answering this an adult tho, adults tend to clutter up there minds with SO much daily living stuff that fun all kinda falls to the way side. So my advice would be to remember every now and then don’t forget to do something you enjoy, Go to a concert, take yourself out to eat, buy a new game for your PS. Just don’t forget to make time for whatever you consider fun!
16. Who do you dislike the most? What’s the best thing about that person?
The man that does our yardwork. He told me an untruth. He does the yardwork for free.
17. Do you sometimes find yourself sitting in front of some awful-tasting food you have been told you have to eat? If so what’s your best trick for getting rid of it.
As I child I don’t remember having to often sit in front of food I don’t like. As an adult, one of my mothers trying to be thoughtful because I told her no one made vegetable sticks anymore bought me some vegetable straws and they were the blandest things you ever tasted. It was HARD to say politely don’t get that anymore. I just tried to be as appreciative as I could. I said something like “I appreciate that your always so thoughtful but these just don’t have any flavor. And these aren’t exactly what I was talking about.” I’m not even sure if worked, but she hasn’t bought anymore in a while so . Probably just telling the truth would work instead of trying to get rid of it (even as a kid). If I had a kid I’d want them to say “Mom this is nasty. Don’t get that no more.” I might just taste it and agree like you are so right!
18. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do?
Lol Well ok we’re being honest. I would go to GA, find the CW Studios, find the right set (The BL or PK set) and just observe…
19. When did you get yourself in the biggest mess by telling a lie? What do you think would have happened if you had just told the truth?
(This requires a little thought. Nothing comes to mind right now to answer this. I’ll come back to it if it does.)
20. If you could choose any bed time you wanted for the next year what time would you pick?
2:00 AM. The later I stay up the more I get done.
21. Are there things you pretend not to like but really do enjoy. If so, why do you hide your feelings?
Well, I’ve learned a long time ago that if I don’t like something not to pretend I do for the sake of other people in my family. For example, I didn’t like big family events and I use to make myself go to make them happy. Now they know if I don’t feel like it I just won’t go. But sometimes I’ll fuss about family events and then actually have fun at them when I get there.
22. When your are mad at your parents and want to get back at them what little things do you do to anger or embarrass them?
I’m not sure how I would have answered this as a kid. As an adult tho I just get very silent. Usually, it’s like that for some days. I’m not good at confrontation and I hate arguments so I probably wouldn’t make the situation worse but making them anger or embarrassing them, I’d just let it die down and hopefully that would be soon so we’d go back to being in a good place.
23. If you had to guess two things you will like in a few years but don’t like now what would you guess? Pretend that if you are correct you will win 1,000.
My first guess is being single. As time goes on and on and on I think when I think about what I don’t have to put up with in a relationship or a marriage I’ll grow to like and appreciate being unattached more. The second is I’ll just say having to wear a pump because I started off not liking it because it was uncomfortable and didn’t seem to work well, but in a few years I think I’ll adjust to it even more as it’s worked out how to make my numbers more stable and my skin gets use to having a catherter in it all the time.
24. If you had the choice of maturing physically and sexually a full year before any of your friends or at about the same time as the rest of your friends, which would you choose? Why?
Thinking as a kid I’d probably want the physically part sooner, but the sexual part about the same time as my friends. Why? Well, it would have been nice in school to have a slamming body before anyone else. But then sexually I was a later starter (if I had to guess) than my friends. I didn’t start till college and I’m ok with that. I wouldn’t have wanted to be sexual at an early age because even at a later age when I did start I wish *today* that I were not with the people I was with. So starting early would only added to the list of regrets. Why regrets? While at the time, it might have been good in the moment but it didn’t result to anything long standing so..
25.If you knew by being the teacher’s pet for two years you would lose all your friends and be teased by everyone, but that you would later grow to be very successful and happy would you do it?
I don’t think you can really call someone your friend if you can lose them over a teacher favoring you. If they really *are* your friend they won’t be petty and then when you are happy and successful, they’ll be there to be a part of it and share it with you.
26. Would you like to have an identical twin? What about it would be best? Worst?
No. The best part about it would be to have someone I always felt close to and share a bond with. The worst would be not feeling like an individual. What if my twin was better at life than me? I’d have resentment for them and that would also be one of the worse things.
27. Would you rather your father gave more presents or spent more time with you? Which would make you feel he loved you more?
I’d be happy if my father just LISTENED to me and didn’t try to force me to care about things I don’t care about. That would really show that he loved me. But as my father is older and I’ve made it a point to spoil myself (thus I can buy my own self presents) than I’d say spend more time with me. We use to but because of the first thing I specified, it caused a rip in our relationship and I hope we can put that aside and get back to spending time after this pandemic is over.
28. If you were offered 100 to kiss someone you liked in front of your school class would you do it?
Lol If it was the person, I’m thinking off I pay 100.00 to kiss *THEM* in front of my school class. And it would be the best 100.00 I ever spent in my LIFE!
29. What is the worst nightmare you can remember? Would you be willing to have the same dream tonight if it meant you could spend a weekend in Disney land?
The worse nightmare I had was I was outside what looked like my high school. There was a parking garage that was right next to a wall. My grandfather had dropped me off from an appointment. Then I thought about it and thought I’m supposed to ride home with you. So I started to get in the right side of the car but it was too tight a fit. So, he said I’ll pull up. I got out and stood to the back of the car. He inched out but somehow the tire of the car was on the wall and I didn’t want him to go over the wall. So I said your too far on the wall. Then he inched up. Then somehow his car went through the wall and left a big hole. I was standing there frozen with the phone in my hand. Trying to comprehend what happened. But before I could make a call he came around the right side of the car. His jacket was all bloody and he was holding on to the car. He took a step forward towards me and then he collapsed in a pool of blood. I remember screaming to the top of my lungs but no sound came out. By this time my principal rushed off. I woke up shaking and shaking and shaking and it took a minute to calm my heart rate down. I might have even teared up. No I wouldn’t have this dream again to go to Disney land for a weekend.
30. If you woke up tomorrow and by magic you were already grown up and had kids of your own how would you treat them differently from the way your parents treat you.
Well since I am grown, I think that as a parent I wouldn’t try to force what I wanted on my child if they didn’t want it no matter how much *I* wanted it. I’d try to be more understanding.
31. How would you feel if you found out today you were adopted when you were a baby? Would you try to find your natural parents?
I wouldn’t because my parents were the ones who were there and raised me and cared for me and supported me and took on the job that my biological parents for whatever reason didn’t want or couldn’t fulfill. If they gave me up then that ment they didn’t want any parts of me so I’d leave them where they were. I certainly wouldn’t feel like I missed out on anything.
32. If you agree to sell your bike to a friend and when someone offered you more money would you go back on the bargain?
I’d probably be kicking myself for not holding out but no a deals a deal.
33, If you and your friends were collecting money for a charity and then your friends decided to steal what they were collecting and said they wouldn’t be friends with you anymore unless you did it too, what would you do?
This isn’t as black and white a question as it sounds like. The obvious answer is no you wouldn’t do it I think Id try to find out if there was a reason. Like maybe they were stealing the money because they’re family didn’t have money (and if it was 2020) this would make A LOT of sense because of all the unemployment. But if it was just selfish, I’d probably tell them *layta* I don’t do thief friends. A lot of the *friends* I had way back when were into “other means* of making money, so. Not to say that was right either but they certainly didn’t pressure me to join in their activities.
34.If you could be as talented as some friend of yours at any one thing what would you chose?
This particular friend and I kind of grew apart but it would be my friend Kamali because he is the most TALENTED artist I have ever seen not to be doing anything with it. His art is SO GOOD that it could be on the cover of magazines and album covers if he had the right exposure! And I think it’s just a shame! I’m (was) a decent artist but no where near what this man can do with a pencil and pen.
35. Would you rather pick what you wear to school or wear the same uniform every day? What would you wear if no one paid any attention to the way you dressed?
When I was in high school, they tried to enact the uniform rule and I remember HATING it! Now tho as an adult, that hates to go places because you have to pick stuff to wear, I think I wouldn’t mind a job that you had to wear a uniform just to make it easier. Basically, I’d just wear sweats all the time and hoodies (comfortable clothes).
36. Clean your room! Take a bath! Wash your hands! Why do you think adults care so much about cleanliness?
I even ask myself this today because my mother is a clean freak. Well, it can be that in my case that one of them is particularly clean to make up for the fact that one of the members isn’t so clean and that drives them nuts and it’s a hygiene thing. Or maybe that were raised by someone in their household that was overly clean. Or maybe (and this is what I really think) some adults just need something to do constantly and can’t sit still so they just HAVE to clean obsessively. They will probably tell you though that they’re always something that needs it.
37. If you told your friends everything about yourself including all the things you are ashamed and afraid of, do you think they’d like you less or more than they do now?
Neither. I think they know all that suff and they think of me the same as they always have.
38. Are you in a hurry to grow up? What does it mean to be grown up, and when do you think it will happen for you?
Lol I still don’t feel grown up and I’m in my 40s. What does it mean to be a grown up. BILLS! BILLS! BILLS and more BILLS (constantly) Would I have told the younger version in my to want to be a grown up NO! I would have told them to just enjoy being a kid. Grownups have to much stuff to worry about all the time that kids don’t have to be concerned about for some years.
39. While on vacation you get a ride to the beach with a friend’s parents and find that some people are bathing in the nude. Would you say and watch or leave?
Lol if I was a kid I’d be like oh HELL NAH! But as an adult I might be game. Were their any good looking nicely built men on this nude beach?
40. If people stopped growing and getting stronger by the time they reached your age and so adults were neither bigger nor stronger than you are would you still do what they said? If so why?
Yes. It’s not about how big or strong they are as adults. If I’m a kid then it’s all about RESPECT! They’re still OLDER than you are. My Dad isn’t that much in size but I wish I would have not done what he said. He would have torn my behind up.
41. If you had only five minutes to think up a nickname for yourself and knew everyone would use it for years, what would you pick? What would you pick for your best friend? Your parents.
Let’s start with the easiest my best friend’s nickname is Moldy. It comes from a cartoon “The Grim Adventures of Bill and Mandy” from a spoof of Lord Voldermort (Moldy Butt). I called myself “Diamond” on a RPG (Even though it’s stripperish I’ll stick with it) My parents is harder, My mother gave my Dad this nickname “Morbidda Destiny” from a book series called Little Sisters which was a spin off from the Baby-sitter’s Club. Now for my mom’s probably I’d call them Restless 1 and Restless 2 because they have the can’t sit still disease.
42.Imagine that your principal told you she wanted to make school better and would change it in anyone way you suggested. What would you tell her to do?
Ok so I don’t have any changes in mind for my elementary school or middle school. If it were my high school, I would have wanted a art wing added when I was *in* school and not waited until I was WAY out of high school to add one. I’d want the wing to have a animation lab. I would have loved to have learned this skill in high school. Now as for my college, I would have suggested that the guidance counselors work harder to place students in opportunities or jobs that had to do with their field of study. None of the jobs I got after college where in anyway related to the degree I got and it just felt like 4 years that weren’t fulfilled
43. Of all the things you have been told about God and about religion what do you think is true and what do you think isn’t.
HARD ONE! . . I do believe that he *does* give us not necessarily what we want but what we can handle. As far as what I don’t believe. I’m not sure if I believe that God is God and Jesus. I’ve heard people say that a few times. I don’t believe some sayings like “He doesn’t put more on us than we can handle.” Nor do I think I believe that there’s a pre-determined course and path for each and every one of us. I also don’t believe that God has someone for each of us. I’ve seen too many people in this world hurting with being alone for this to be true.
44. If you could permanently trade lives with one of your brothers, sisters, or classmates, would you? If so who would you pick and why.
No. I wouldn’t trade places with either my brother or my sister. I honestly can’t think of a classmate either I’d trade places with. I think though that if I could trade places with someone it would be someone like Ophrah Winfrey, wealthy, generous, a good heart, successful. She’s made a difference in SO many people’s lives I’d love to be able to make people happy like that.
45. If you could change any one thing about your parents what would it be?
Sometimes that they’d see me more as an adult then still a kid and treat me as such.
46. What things do you think children should be punished for, and how should it be done? Is there an age when people are too old to be punished for the mistakes they make? If so what age and why.
Parents today let kids get away with bad behavior like fighting and biting and they act like it’s cute, and they definitely should be punished for stuff like that. They should be either spanked or have something taken away from them to show them not to do it anymore. I don’t think even as an adult your too old to get punished for the mistakes you make and I wish more adults would get punished for the wrong, bad, stuff they do. Maybe then they’d learn from it. I know that sometimes tho we do punish ourselves for mistakes me make that linger.
47. What are you most proud of having done? What would make you even more proud?
I’m most proud of my writing and how it seems to have such a strong, positive, effect on whomever it touches. What would make me even more proud of one day I could help all the single people in the world find matches. Even if I could help one that would be worth it. That would mean one less lonely person in the world. Even if their match wasn’t a person but a pet.
48.If you were certain that everyone in your class but you would be killed unless you agreed to die in their place, would you save everyone else or save yourself? Would it matter if no one would ever know about what you’d done?
Umm. Considering half my class didn’t mean anything to me anyway, I’m gonna say that I would have answered this as a kid as no because they probably wouldn’t have died to save me. However today as an adult my answer would be yes if I knew my death meant saving a ton of people. And no it really wouldn’t matter to me if anyone knew what I did.
49. What do you like most about your best friend? How long do you think it would take to make another *best* friend if you moved to a distant city and could never see the best friend you have now?
SO MANY THINGS! But I’d have to say LOYALTY! My best friend has been my best friend since the 8th grade and NOTHING not my bad attitude, not us graduating, not him moving out of the city, not him getting married, not even me pushing him away has EVER made him waver. NEVER! No matter where I move I kinda know that I will never find that kind of degree of loyalty in anyone else. And moving hasn’t mattered to us because he’s in LA and I’m in ALA so I doubt I’d matter if I were to move. My best friend simply just CAN NOT be replaced by anyone else EVET!
50. Would you rather be very poor and have parents who loved you and each other or be wealthy and have parents who ignored you and were always fighting with each other.
Wealthy. I don’t need a lot of attention so that’s fine by me. And since my biological mom and Dad been since divorced when I was 11. And mom Dad and another Mom do slightly argue in front of me until they remember I’m there and cut it off.
51. If someone pulled down a friend’s pants at the movie theater, would you join in the laughter?
I’d wait to see they’re reaction. If they laughed back, I’d laugh. If they didn’t and were upset about it I wouldn’t.
52. What is the most boring thing you can imagine doing? Would you do it for a whole week if you could then celebrate your birthday twice each year?
My best friend is studying stocks and reading stock books. I can’t imagine anything more boring than that and nope one birthday a year is plenty. Plus, it’s only speeding up me getting older and who in the world wants that?
53. What is the biggest difference between what happens on television and what happens in the real word?
The problems on TV can be solved in a hour episode or a season with 10 episodes. In real life things don’t always get wrapped up and packaged so nice and neatly.
54. Are there people you trust so much your wouldn’t be afraid to have them know your every thought?
Yes. I have this much trust in my best friend and I kinda feel like he does because I randomly just blurt out (or text) whatever’s on my mind no matter what weird thing it is and let me tell you it takes a minute to get to that level of comfort.
55, Would you be willing to never get gifts and surprises if instead you could just ask for anything you wanted and have your parents get it for you?
Whatever I wanted hunh? Well, that’s a easy yes. I can give myself gifts and surprises. As a kid though I don’t know probably no cause I had the best of both worlds. I was a SPOILED kid! I had an aunt that worked at a toy store and could get me first pick of all the new stuff and I had SO MANY TOYS and then on my birthday and holidays I got gifts so no because I didn’t have to make this choice.
56. What makes you feel guilty? Do you feel guilty very often?
Ok slight guilt for some of the sites I get things from but not every often.
57.If someone a lot smaller than you kept teasing you and telling lies about you and wouldn’t stop how far would you be willing to go to make the person stop? What about someone bigger than you?
I’m not confrontational at ALL so probably not very far at all. Tho I do believe you never know what you’ll do if pushed to far. So, it’s hard to say.
58. Have you ever thought you were going to die-for example in a big thunderstorm or an accident? If so how did it feel and is there anything you learned from the experience that you could tell friends?
No, but honestly there have been times that I’ve wished for death. But what I learned was I was not getting out of living that easily and I just had to live like it or not.
59. When was the last time you were so mad at a friend that you screamed? Do you think you get over your anger more quickly when you show how mad you are or when you hide it?
I can’t remember being so mad at a *friend* I screamed. Probably I get over it when I hide it.
60. Which subjects at school do you think will be completely useless to you in the future? Which ones do you think will be important to you?
Algebra for the most useless. English and typing for the most important.
61. If you knew no harm would come to you, would you be willing to spend two days alone inside your home? Pretend you could have any present you wanted if you did it.
Uh YEAH! I would LOVE to spend two NOISE FREE days inside my home alone. That would be a present in itself.
62. When was the last time you told your parents you loved them?
Umm. With one mom it was yesterday when we hung up the phone conversation. This mother always says it in texts and over the phone. My other mother (biological) and father longer than I care to admit. I wanna say I wrote it on the biological one’s Mother’s Day E-card.
63. Are there certain kinds of stealing-or borrowing without permission-that are all right and others that are not? Is so, how would you explain the difference? When was the last time you stole something or thought about doing so?
Uh well I guess if you had a sibling and yal were extremely close and you knew you could borrow each other clothes without permission and that was fine. Or you had a roommate same thing. That’s the only kind of borrowing I’d think would be ok without permission.
64. What is the hardest thing about growing up?
Accepting that you can’t take everyone with you on your journey and it means more responsibility even some days when you aren’t feeling it.
65. When someone says you are just like your mom or your day, do you like it. Do you try more to be llike your parents or be different from them?
No-ones ever told me I’m like that. Cause I definitely not. I have heard I look like my Dad. It didn’t bother me. I don’t try to be like or different from them. My Dad and I share some similarities in things we like to eat. But I don’t really think I’m like either of them. I am a alien and Unorthodox is my planet.
66.Would you rather hang around with a group of younger kids and be the buss but do things that younger kids do or hang around with a group of older kids and be the squirt but do the things that older kids get to do?
As a kid, I’d probably want to hang around the older kids and do what they do. That sounds a lot more interesting.
67.What was the most exciting thing you ever did on a dare? Are you glad you did it?
This year I dared my own self to step out of my comfort zone and try to get a celebrity’s attention. Was I glad I did it? Absolutely! Even though sometimes I wonder if my efforts were in vain. I’d be even more glad to know what I did made their day but I guess I’ll just have to settle for being glad that I was brave enough to do it.
68.Would you eat a worm sandwich if doing so meant that next week you could appear on your favorite tv show?
I wanna say no so bad. But on the other hand put it like this the worm couldn’t be alive. It would have to be VERY disguised and chopped up with a lot of other stuff mixed in to cover up the taste that I was eating a worm. And when I say chopped up I mean miniscule pieces. Wait can I pick the worm cause they do have gummy worms. not any more disgusting but there’s the loophole. You didn’t say what kind.
69. Would you like your parents to touch, cuddle, and hug each other more or less than they do now? What about having them touch and hug you more or less often?
I have no idea how to answer this. My biological parents are divorced. My Dad and my other mother since I don’t live with them I don’t know how often they show affection and it’s not sometimes (even though me and my other mother are EXTREMLY close) I wanna ask. I’d say more but I know my Dad isn’t an overly affectionate person. But she is. So too each other I hope that it’s enough. As for me I’m not touchy feely so it’s enough that the biological ones never do and the other mother does it often.
70. If you found a change purse on the playground with quite a bit of money in it and no one saw you pick I up, what would you do?
Look around for a minute so see if anyone was coming back for it. Look inside it to see if there was any thing in it to see if I could find out who it belonged to. If there was I’d try to mail it back to them with everything in tact or go bring it to them if there was an address on some cards. If there wasn’t I don’t know because if I left it there someone else would surely pick it up and spend it. But if I left it there then they’d probably come back looking for it when they realized it was gone. I’d probably leave it there. Now say for instance a car over turned a bunch of money and it went flying every where on the interstate well that would be a whole different story and they’d just be short cause I’d grab some and be down the street lol
71. If there any argument you have again and again with your parents? If so, what do you think you could do to prevent it? Do you sometimes just enjoy arguing?
Nah. Not really. I’m more the can’t we just get along type. What do my parents argue with about over and over? Hmm. Well it would be the weather control. But a vent cover worked for me. And there use to be an argument about what caused my night sweats but I figured that out on my own and it ended when I started sleeping on TOP of the covers.
72. What was the luckiest thing that ever happened to you?
ZLIB and4 CD (Comic Downloader)
73. If you liked someone who later turned out to be a liar would you still want to be good friends?
No, I got rid of all the liars in my life. The only liars I’d consider as friends are the Pretty Little Liars (Mona, Aria, Emily, Spencer, and Hannah)
74. What advice would you give if someone’s mom and dad were getting divorced and they were always trying to make him take sides in their arguments? Imagine that he loves both his parents equally.
Some things as hard as they are you just have to talk to your parents about. If you aren’t particularly good with words (which I’m not) you could write them and letter and explain to them how you feel about this and to please not ask you to do this because you love them both equally and it’s unfair to make you choose and you won’t do it.
75.Did you ever stand up for something you thought was right even though a lot of people got upset with you. If not do you think you would ever be strong enough to do so?
So once, my Dad told me I needed therapy and basically without asking how I felt about he told me he was going to sign me up because I was crazy if I didn’t think I needed it. I tried to stand up to him but I did it like you can’t do that I’m grown and it resulted in him getting upset at me and telling me he was only doing it because he loved me. Then I was upset even though he was definitely the one in the wrong because you can’t make decisions for other people because you think it’s what they need to do. Yet, I should have found a better way to stand up for myself without exploding on him.
76. Do you act like different people when you are with your friends, your family, and your school mates.
No. I pretty much act the same with all of em. What you see is what you get with me.
77. What sorts of things are too personal to discuss with your parents? Is there anyone you can discuss those things with?
My decision to be a Wiccan I don’t discuss with my (bio) mom because she’s so heavily Christian that I know she wouldn’t understand if I said “oh and by the way I’m a witch.” I don’t see me telling this to my other mother either tho I have slightly hinted that I *am* different. Of course I can always tell my best friend who not only understands what I am and why he encourages it by asking me often if I’ve written in my grimoire lately.
78 Do you hace many mementos and souvenirs? If so, how much money would someone have to give you to get you throw them away?
I have tons of pictures. I don’t think any amount of money could make me throw them away because they’re part of my memories. I wish I still had my class rings but I lost those in a house fire. I’d love to still have those today. My middle school one had my birth stone. My HS one was a guy’s looking ring with a Amethyste stone and my college one was a dainty gold one with an Amethyste stone. I also have some old letters, diaries, and notes I use to pass with my friends in a coffee can.
79. What is something you love doing now but will probably not enjoy in two years?
Nothing comes to mind.
80. On Halloween, a group of high school students are caught scaring little kids and stealing their candy. If you could decide the punishment, what would it be?
I would hire someone to wait the night was over and they were through with all their antics and went home and started dumping out all the candy and have the person dress up in all black and climb in their window. When they were sleep, I’d have them abruptly awaken in the middle of the night to the sounds of something in there room breaking and have them jump up. Then I’d wait until they were sleeping again and have the person creep up to the side of their bed until they were standing over them with something sharp in their hands and when they opened there eyes... “Happy Halloween ass!” There eyes would be all big and they’d be crying talking bout “Please don’t kill me.” Maybe a fake burglar to steal the candy back.
81 Would you rather be a rich and famous movie star or a great doctor who saves a lot of people’s lives but is not so wealthy or well known.
Rich and famous movie star. It would get me closer to the thing I want most.
82. Have you ever seen your parents drunk or very ill? How did it feel to see them that way?
Yup. I have seen and heard my father drunk. Have I seen him very ill? I’ve seen him in the hospital? I’ve heard about him VERY ill from being drunk and it just makes me sad that he allows himself in family situations that are so stressful it causes him to be addicted and thus go on binges. I wish with everything in me it wasn’t that way. The scariest thing I’ve seen was at a game his hand shaking uncontrollably.
83. Of all the nice things someone could truthfully say about you, which one would make you feel the best?
That you deserve so much more than what you’ve been given in life and I see you for the amazing woman you are and I accept all parts of you. Now your REAL life begins!
84. What is the worst word you know? How did you learn it and when the last time you said it?
Kick rocks. It was a very hurtful thing to be told after a bad break up. They long since apologized but I’d never say it to anyone else because I remember how it made me feel.
85. When was the last time you really laughed at yourself because you did something silly or stupid?
I laugh all the time at family and friends for doing stupid and silly stuff but I can’t remember when the last time I laughed at myself was.
86. If you could have some friend be your slave for a day and do anything you wanted, what would you ask for? Pretend your friend wouldn’t get upset no matter what you wanted?
Ok so this is gonna be out there. I would ask the person firstly if I *could* be there friend thus then they’d have friend status. Then I would say I know this is gonna sound crazy but just go with it ok. You’re my slave for the day and you have to do what I say so let’s have a wedding. I’d say don’t worry it’ll just be like shooting a scene. I just wanna see what it would feel like to marry you and have a big wedding just for one day. Then I could get to wear a pretty gown. I’d get to wear the ring. I’d get to go through the vows. Then I’d get to have a big reception and I’d be like OH SO THAT’S WHAT IT FEELS LIKE! Then my curiosity would be satisfied.
87. If you could make your parent try one food what would it be? Do you think children should be forced to try new foods?
Banana Cream Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. EVERYONE should try this! It’s just pure HAPPINESS. No, I don’t think children should be forced to try new foods. Should try but not forced.
88. If this Saturday you could do absolutely anything you wanted, what would you do?
I’d buy a plane ticket to a remote part of the world that never even heard of corona virus and there I would stay until the world resumed something I could tolerate again. Maybe I’d rent a house on the beach with no tv and just a computer so I wouldn’t even *hear* anything about it. The only sounds I’d hear were the waves and the water rushing against the sand.
89. Who are your heroes? Why do you think they’re so terrific?
Definitely my mom’s who are both strong, incredible, beautiful, intelligent, fierce, women that I admire and love.
90. When was the last time you lied to your parents? To a close friend? When was the last time you got caught lying?
The last time I lied to my parents was when my father called me one day out the blue and starting trying to lay a guilt trap on me for not talking to my sister and he keep asking me if I was gonna fix it and at first, I was quiet like Nope. Not saying that. Then I kinda just said yeah unh hunh. But he had to know I had no intention of doing it. I didn’t want to lie to him but what could I do he keep forcing me to lie and tell him I was gonna do something I had no intention of ever doing? I feel like I lied to a close friend but pretending like I was ok with them doing something that I was kinda upset that they did but I kinda just laughed it off but I deep down I was upset about it. I’m not sure when I got caught lying last because there hasn’t been anything to lie about.
91. What tricks do your friends use to get you to do things they know you really don’t want to do?
It’s not so much my friends, but my family is REALLY bad about this. Particularly my aunt and her trick is always the same thing BRIBERY! This use to work but not so much anymore.
92. Do you pick your nose or bite your nails? If so do you think you always will, or will you stop one day
Only when I have a hang nail. No, I don’t pick my nose.
93. What things have adults told you that you suspect are not really true? Do you think they believe those things?
That if I eat too much Ranch salad dressing it’s going to give me high blood pressure and I’ll be sorry. That if I shine my Halloween projections in the window people will pull up in the drive way to watch it like it’s a drive-thru movie. That there’s no such thing as cold sweating, That if I don’t shut my blinds at night people will be peeking through the window randomly.
94. If you could change any one thing about the way you look what would it be?
Tighter under eye skin
95. If your favorite pet needed an expensive operation and could have it only if agreed that the operation would replace your Christmas and birthday presents for the next two years would you go along with it?
I never had a pet but yes if I had one yes I could give up two years of Christmas and birthday presents. We had a couple of dogs but I wasn’t a pet person as a kid. Still I hope I wouldn’t have been so heartless as to say no I want my presents. I probably would have been disappointed tho like you really aren’t gonna get me a present? He’s your pet not mine. But it’s not like I didn’t have enough toys as it was.
96. Are you afraid to ask questions when you don’t understand something? For example, do you sometimes fake a laugh when you don’t understand a joke?
I didn’t realize how big a issue this was with some people until recently. But yes I’m good with asking questions. I had to do this when we had 1x1s and in group meetings at my job. It’s easier when it’s a smaller amount of people tho.
97. What is the best costume you ever wore? Would you like getting dressed up in costumes once every week instead of just a few times a year?
My favorite was dressing up as a witch (little did I know back then it had already started). A few times a year? Who gets dressed up in a costume a few times a year? No because it would just zap all the fun out of Halloween if you dressed up more than once a year.
98. Have you and your friends ever picked on people and made fun of them until they cried? If so, why did you do it? Did you enjoy it?
99. Are there things your parents won’t do themselves, but still make you do because it’s “good for you”? If so do you feel like this is fair?
No because if they try to make me do it that means they are doing it. For example my mom tries to get me to eat ginger candy because “it’s good for you”. But I don’t because I don’t like the taste of ginger in anything but gingerbread.
100. If an older kid hit you stole something of yours and then told you he’d hurt you if you told on him would you tell anyone? If so who?
Man I’m so glad this never happened to me as a kid. But if I had a kid I would want them to tell me or a teacher or an adult. And I would *dare* that little bully to come anywhere NEAR my kid if I had to take them everywhere and pick them up. Now if it was a boy I’d probably sign him up for some kind of self-defense lessons. I’d tell him it’s not ok to hit people, BUT when it comes to defending yourself and they hit you first mama said knock yo butt out. If it’s my *kid* and he stole something of my kids that means he stole from ME cause I bought it so NOPE that won’t fly. I’m talking to my kid and then I’m going straight to the parent to get my kid’s whatever it was back.
101. Are you more likely to hold back your tears when you feel like crying or to hold back your laughter when you see something funny? Why?
Neither, My tears come at hours when I’m alone and I can’t think of any reason what with the family I have to ever hold back laughter.
102. Do you wish your parents would questions you less or more about what you do and how you feel?
103. If your parents told you your best friend was a bad influence on you and that you were no longer allowed to play together how would you feel? Would you do what they said.
I probably wouldn’t. Well I didn’t and she was. But some years later and we still communicate tho her best friend status got passed to someone else.
104. Have you ever farted and then blamed someone else?
105.If you knew you wouldn’t get caught, would you cheat on a test by copying some’s answer’s? What would you think if you saw other people cheating?
Hmm. If they were cool with it I probably would have back then. Especially if everyone were cheating and I remember a time when this really did happen. It was science. The teacher stepped out the room and books started opening and notes started passing. I’d mind my business. If you don’t tell I won’t neither. That’s how it works. You see someone cheating you keep your mouth shut and your eyes on your own paper.
106. When was the last time you were generous to a stranger jut because you wanted to be nice?
I haven’t had the opportunity to because these days the social distance rule is in effect.
107. If you knew it would save the lives of ten starving children in another country would you be willing to go without new clothes for the next year? What about having bad acne for a year?
Easy yes. I have enough clothes. I don’t wear half the ones I own. I don’t know about acne though. I’m a bad picker and scratcher. A compromise how bout I send a big donation and not get acne and not have extra money for anything but paying bills for a year. That would be harder.
108 If a good friend did something bad and you were asked if you knew anything about it, would you lie to keep your friend from getting into trouble.
Bad like how bad? Accidently killed somebody? Purposely killed somebody? Robbed a store? Cheated? In any case I didn’t hear NOTHING! They’ll never hear it from me. But I would tell you watch yo back.
109 If you knew that by practicing hard every Saturday you could become the best in your school at whatever you wanted, what if anything would you work on? Now imagine looking back on your choice in twenty years, do you think you would wish you had picked something else to work on.
I would have worked on acrobatics and jumps so I could turn the clock back and rub it all up in those snotty ass cheerleaders faces and I’d gotten on the squad and made captain. And I would have been the one making them run until they fell out. And no I wouldn’t have changed this to this day my answer would be the same.
110. What is your biggest fear? How would your life be different if suddenly you overcame it.
That I won’t be prepared in the future and will have to be alone. I’d probably have more peace of mind if I knew I’d be ok.
111. If your parents lost their jobs and you had to try to help support your family, what sorts of things would you do to earn money?
If I was answering this as a kid,I think I’d try to make my own business out of making crafts. I’ve always been creative. It wasn’t as big a thing then as it is now. But maybe I could have learned to make cards and jewelry and dice or done drawings.
112 If you could pick any one food and have as much of it as you wanted-but nothing else-during the next week, what would you pick
Teriyaki Teriyaki Teriyaki
113. What would make you try harder in school wanting to please a teacher you liked a lot? Not wanting to disappoint your parents? Or being offered a fabulous prize if you did well
114. How important is it for you to win? When was the last time you cheated in a game so you could win?
Lol Wellll that depends. When I play my favorite video game I often *cheat* by getting my cousin to play the hard parts I can’t seem to pass so I can win and get to the end of the game. Is winning important to me, not really. I’ve never really been all that competitive.
115. If you got so angry at your parents that you decided to run away, where would you go? If you ran away, do you think you’d ever come back home?
I tried it. Only I didn’t have any where to go so I just walked up and down the street and I kinda half remember talking to some guy while I was walking that maybe was out walking too but when I came back my parent had taken all the stuff out my room. Probably though the best place I could go wa over my aunts who had no rules. One of my cousins described it as “where the living is easy.”
116. If there were a hard but exciting project to do, would you rather do it by yourself and get all the credit for it, or do it with a group of friends knowing that everyone would share the credit? What would it feel like to do it the other way?
Knowing myself I’d rather do it myself and get all the credit. That’s kinda just how I am. I don’t like waiting around on other people when I can do a thing by myself. So that’s what I’m *use* to doing. However, it might be more fun with a group of people. I remember a long time ago I was working on putting a comedy and tragedy 3-D puzzle together and I had a boyfriend at the time helping me. It was a lot more fun for us to work together and it turned out GREAT! I still have it! I also have worked with other friends on writing projects that turned out even more interesting when we worked and contributed together.
117. What was the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you? Are you embarrassed now by the same things that used to embarrass you?
The most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me was when a boyfriend took me to a rib joint here. He asked me if I had it (meaning could I carry my tray with all the food on it) and I said yes. Only my eye sight is kinda bad. There was a step going up to a upper section of the place and I didn’t see the step BAM! I tripped. The tray went flying. Food when flying and I feel on my backside in front of all those people. He looked at me and said “I asked you did you have it?’ I don’t think I am, but when I was a kid I don’t remember what use to embarrass me.
118. Whose room would you most like to spend the afternoon looking through? Pretend you had permission to look at all the private possessions of that person.
119.If you had the choice of either being confined to your room for two days or being spanked which would you choose? Why?
Being confined to my room for two days. Because my room is awesome. I have my computer with all my books and all my streaming stations and music. I’m so good!
120 Do your parents try to trick you into doing things they want you to do? If so, do you usually figure out what’s going on right away and not later.
YES! The one who does this isn’t subtle AT ALL!
121 If you could grow up to be famous and successful what would you like to be known for? Do you think you will be famous one day?
A writer. No but fame isn’t the most important thing if I can touch people with my words that’s all that matters.
122. If you had to either always rush and do things a lot more quickly than you do now or always take your time and do things a lot more slowly than you do now, which would you prefer? Does it bother you to be around people who are quite a bit faster or slower than you?
That’s a hard one as because I don’t like to rush and I prefer taking my time but when reading I wish I could rush and get more books read more quickly and more reviews done. So I’m divided on this question.
123. If you could do one thing you are not allowed to do now because you are too young, what would you pick?
NA! I may *look* young but Im not. But there are some things I *would* do if I weren’t in the situation, I was in. I’d probably get a tattoo and move somewhere and start my life over.
124 When were you last in a fight? What things would you be willing to fight about even though they don’t directly threaten you?
A physical fight? I don’t even remember the last time this was. Have I *ever* been in one? Now as for a verbal fight it was when my best friend and I had a disagreement. I wanted him to be there a time when I lost someone, I loved and I was hurting and needed a friend but at the time he had to be there for his sons birthday. He got pissed at me because he said that would *always* come first. And I had to learn to leave him alone on that day. What things would I fight about that aren’t directly related to me. I think justice for young black men and women affected by police brutality (if fighting meant protesting) and other unfair treatments and practices that showed prejudice and discrimination.
125. If you could be either the most attractive the most athletic or the smartest kid in your class which would you choose?
I wouldn’t be the most attractive. Looks can fade. I wouldn’t be the most athletic. Athletes can get injured. I’d be the smartest because then I’d be the most successful (career wise)
126. What do you think your parents worried about when they were your age? What do you think they worry about now?
I can’t tell what they worried about then but I can tell you what they worry about now. My other mother worries about my father’s health. My father worries about family obligations concerning his and my aunt and uncle’s old family home they grow up in. My mother worries constantly about the corona virus and talks about day in and day out until I just wanna scream TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE!
127. If you were to be granted any one magical power you wanted, what would you pick?
Mind manipulation (I heard a rumor you loved me) “Rumor from The Umbrella Academy”
128 If you liked your uncle a lot, and one day when you were alone together, he tried to touch you in a way that felt wrong to you would you tell someone, try to pretend it hadn’t happened, try to avoid him, or do something else? What would you do if the same thing happened again?
So, here’s what happened I had a cousin who use to play this game with me. It was dumb really. He’d touch me and say artichoke. I was a kid. He was in high school. The touches weren’t personal so I thought it was just a silly game. One day we were at my aunt’s house alone together and he called me in the room. He started the artichoke game but he took it a step further. He said come lay down on the bed. And I did. Then he started to take his pants off. Something about this felt wrong as hell to me and I got scared so I said I have to go to the bathroom. He said hurry up. I went in the bathroom and locked the door. Luckily my aunt came home. After that I really don’t remember ever being alone with him again. I know that I never told an adult. I was just so extremely glad that what was about to happen didn’t happen and I was smart enough to know it was wrong and have the quick sense to get out of that room with him or I could have been a victim of incest. To this day I don’t even know if he’d remember it. But that kind of close call thing stays with you.
129. If by wishing it, you could have every person in the world wake up and have the same skin color, would you want that to happen?
It would have to be a neutral color like blue. Idk I think it would be interesting if this happened because maybe the racial issues that have torn us apart would no longer be there. But it would have to be the exact same shade of blue or whatever color.
130. If you could have a wonderful new experience you could cherish or a great new possession, which would you want? Why?
I think I’d pick the wonderful new experience you could cherish. I just felt like it’s needed right now. Things have just felt a little… monotonous!
131 Would you rather see all sex or violence censored from television? Why?
Sex? Ok excuse me I’m about to get blunt and personal. Because since I’m not having it I don’t need to *see* it. So therefore, it can be so censored it’s none existent.
132. What kinds of teasing do you think you would miss most if everyone decided to never tease you again?
None that I can think of. Ok well don’t tell my cousin Kenny this because his ego is the size of elephant but I would miss his teasing and I would miss my best friend’s teasing if they weren’t around.
133. What do you think your friends like most about you? If you lost that quality, d o you think they would still like you?
I have no earthly idea. Intelligence? Good advice? Honesty? Maybe I should ask them. I think they would. Well, I hope they would.
134 Adults can do more but have more responsibilies: children can play more but are often told what do do. Do you think kids or adults have a better deal?
135 If you could make a TV show about anything you wanted and you knew that millions of people would see it, what would it be about?
My show would be about 80’s and 90s nostalgia and feature discussions about the movies, the songs, the videos, the book series, the toys. Just everything! The foods! It would be the coolest show on television!
136 Would you rather have a job you didn’t like that paid a lot or a job you loved that paid just enough to get by on?
I’d rather have the job I loved.
137 If you could see into the future but not change it, would you want to do so?
138. What is the wildest and craziest thing you’ve ever done? Would you like to do it again?
I don’t have a wild and crazy story but the chanciest thing I’ve done is took some risky chances meeting people online. Would I do it again? NO!
139 Have you ever gotten yourself into a mess by telling people you could do things you really couldn’t do?
140. If your two best friends got so mad at each other that they both refused to come to your birthday party if the other weren’t there what would you do?
Either make it unbelievable by bragging and saying what all I was gonna have and where it was gonna be so they’re curiosity wouldn’t let them not come or guilt trip them into pointing out when I did something, I didn’t want to do for them or have it anyway and enjoy it. Then celebrate with each one separately.
141 If you were mad at your brother and found o ut about something bad he had done would you tell your parents so that he’d get into trouble?
No because 1 my brother and I have separate parents and only share a father. 2 We didn’t find out about each other until HS and even today we’re just a little tiny bit close. 3. I wouldn’t tell on him even if I were mad at him if he’d done something bad.
142. Imagine you got hit by a car and could be saved by a special operation. The operation would give you a normal happy life but would unfortunately cause you fifteen minutes of terrible stabbing pain every morning when you awoke. Would you want the operation?
143. If one morning you woke up and found that during the night you had been magically changed into an adult, what would you do? Pretend you know you will become a kid again in one week.
Then I’d be no different from today or tomorrow when I wake up. But if I reverted back to a kid in a week. Man, would the time change back to when I was a kid or just be a kid in 2020 or 2021 cause that would SUCK and I’d be counting the hours until I changed back to an adult. Then when I was an adult I’d be thinking can I be changed to dust so I could drift away from the horrible state of the way this world is.
144. If your big brother offered you some drugs what would you do?
Turn it down. Unless it’s some form of a really strong pain killer. I need that right now.
145. How many people do you think it’s possible to love at one time? Why?
You can love infinite people at one time. Because love isn’t limited in who your allowed to love. But romantically I think there’s only room for one and that’s for your spouse. That’s just how it is. You can’t love this one and this one and that. If you commit yourself to one then that’s then be satisfied who you choose and don’t get greedy.
146 If you couldn’t watch TV for a year what do you think you would do with all of your extra time? Do you think you would be better off if you watched TV more or less than you do now why?
I think I’d be ok. I’d just read and it didn’t say anything about streaming. I think more when it came to the news. Just to be more informed.
147. Are you worried about what kind of place the world will be when you grow up? If so what worries you the most and what do you think could be done to improve things.
When I was a kid this was probably the last thing on my mind. But yes, I am worried about how the world is now with everything happening. I have no idea. There’s a vaccine. But people won’t do what they’re supposed to and there dying in a rate that just increases every time you hear about it and it just makes me tired. I unlike so many others understand that no matter how much you bitch and whine that “if people only wore masks and stayed” still that they just *aren’t* and thus there’s no need to have these pointless arguments. Because either 1 they just aren’t wired to stay still for a undisclosed amount of time and just are not gonna change their routine unless it directly hits them and makes them sick to slow them down or 2 they just are unconcerned. So I guess the only way this ends if it works it way through millions killing off whoever’s in it’s wake until it leaves the last people standing or the vaccine works and enough people get it.
148. If you knew that by cheating you could win an important competition for your school and be a hero would you? Pretend you were sure you wouldn’t get caught?
No. I’d just practice really hard. Like I said I didn’t really care that much about impressing anyone in my class so why in the world would I feel like I needed to be the their hero?
149. If you could have either the ability to talk to animals or the power to see into the future which would you want?
I would want the power to see into the future (a little bit better than Raven tho).
150 If you could have anyone you know as a best friend, who would you pick?
I would trade the one I have for anybody!
151. If everyone in your class began teasing and picking on your best friend and you knew that if you stayed friends everyone would start picking on you, would you stay friends?
Sadly, when I was in school I didn’t *see* my best friend and I fear I wouldn’t have done the right thing. It took me some time to learn and mature. Today absolutely not.
152. How would it make you feel if most people thought you were two years younger than you are? Two years older?
Try 20 and less years younger than I am. Try high school and I can NOT STAND it! People talk to you like you’re a child when they think your younger. It’s not complementary at ALL. I wouldn’t mind older weirdly because no one ever thinks I am as old as I am.
153 What do you feel your parents should do for you or give to you without expecting to be thanked-for example cooking meals, buying clothes, or taking you places? Do you think they feel you don’t need to thank them for these things?
There isn’t anything I feel that they do for me that I shouldn’t show my gratitude for because they don’t have to do it. I do feel like they don’t feel like they expect to be as parents but I feel like you always should anyways.
154. Have you had any personal experiences that lead you to believe in God? If so, why do you think there are so many people who haven’t had such experiences? If not, why do you think so many other people have had them.
Well, I do know that in my lowest most dire moments I can say that I’m not there for too long and he always seems to find a way to come through for me when I feel myself at the point when I just don’t know what to do next. I’m not sure tho why people haven’t had these experiences and it tends to hurt my heart sometimes because I think a lot of people have felt forgotten or just not one of his “chosen”-the ones he smiles on. Even though it says he loves us all, I tend to wonder then why do SO many people have it harder than others with just nothing letting them up to breathe. And I also don’t know why some people have these experiences and why some don’t. But if I had to guess maybe faith has something to do with it. But I’ve even seen people who’ve had faith after so long with nothing to believe in fall short. I won’t pretend like I know *any* of the answers of why things are how they are. Definitely the wrong person to ask.
155. What is the best trick you’ve ever played on someone?
I don’t remember really playing any tricks on anyone. Have to think on it.
156 Who do you think are our countries enemies? What exactly do you think they would do to you if they become the rulers here?
Definitely Trump. He’s a horrible leader. He lies like a rug and he doesn’t seem to really care about or have anyone’ s best interest at heart. Not even his own supporters. What he did when he became a leader is fuck up the world, bring a pandemic, and cause the economy to crash.
157 If your parents didn’t care whether you got good grades or not, would you be upset? What is something you know more about than the kid who gets the best grades in your class?
I’m not sure.
158 What advice would you give to a good friend who got very jealous of someone and started trying to act just like that person?
That they didn’t have to be like anyone else and that they were cool just the way they were.
159 At what age should kids be able to wear whatever they want to school? At what age should they be allowed to date?
Kids should be able to wear whatever they want to school at whatever age they take an interest in picking out their own clothes as long as what they wanna wear isn’t inappropriate. It depends on when they mature. Maybe high school. Maybe 16. I went on dates at 14 but always with an adult present.
160 What mark would you give your teacher for her overall performance? For her patience? For her friendliness? For her handwriting?
NA (at the moment I don’t have any)
161. How do you feel when you see someone who is disfigured or crippled? Could you be best friends with someone who was extremely ugly?
My last job I worked with mostly people who were crippled in some way. It just made me feel grateful that I could have it worse. It also made me feel like WOW! REALLY? Because almost all of em were married despite that. Yes because even though they were ugly they’d probably turn out to be the best friend I ever meet and have the best heart.
162. Why do you think the most popular kids in school are so popular? In what ways do you think you are better than they are?
Looks may have a lot to do with it. Confidence might be a factor. Because some of em really aren’t all that great as people. I wouldn’t say I thought I was better. I’d say I was different than them because I never cared about being popular.
163 If there anything so bad that if you found out your mother had done it, you would turn her in to the police?
No because my mother is way to strait-laced to even do anything that I’d have to turn her into the police.
164. Do you try to act like your friends more than you try to act like you? Why?
Nope. I’m good with me.
165. Do you usually say what you really think or what you believe people want to hear?
What I really think half the time. Other times I don’t say what I should say or really want to say.
166. Pretend you can only own one pair of shoes and have to choose between a pair that looks funny but feels great and another pair that looks terrific but feels lousy. Which would you pick?
Well if I had to pick the shoes personally I’d pick the comfortable pair and if *(* was the one picking them they might look funny to other people (and they just might) but if I liked them and I thought they looked cool then it wouldn’t matter to me if they looked “funny” to someone else.
167.If a rich kid wanted to buy your parents how much would you ask for them-assuming you were willing to sell? Would you trade parents with any of your friends?
Lol Probably if I had been a kid a long time ago, I would have answered this different because my mother was rather strict with me and I felt way to sheltered but I guess I’ve gotten used to them now and I wouldn’t sell them today for any price.
168. What is the best birthday party you can imagine having?
It would be a beautiful masquerade ball on October 31. It have on a gorgeous pink dress and a god tiara. I’d be surrounded by a sea of masks and halloween decorations. I’d be sitting and watching it all on stage on a throne. A handsome man would walk up to the stage and reach for my hand to ask me to dance. I’d accept it and we’d dance song after song. At the end of the night, he’d remove his mask and underneath it (it would be) JC. He’d lean in and our lips would touch.
169. If you were riding your bicycle and ran into someone else’s bike and wrecked it-but no one saw you- what would you do?
Look around, make sure there was no one near, and then run. Hey if no one was near for me to apologize to and offer to pay for it being wrecked then…
170. Have you ever been humiliated by a teacher? If so, what happened?
I had a teacher that used to piss me off all the time for picking on me. What happened? I got her off my case by clowning in her class and dominating the class period and the quiz she gave.
171.Would you rather regularly wet your bed and have only your parents known about it or never wet your bed but because of a story someone made up about you, have everyone think you did.
Wet the bed and have only my parents known I did. At least they wouldn’t tease me which would probably be horrible to have people clowning you as a kid and making up nicknames even if they only *thought* you did but you didn’t. Then I might have a medical condition. I have diabetes and I remember a time when I had to go to the bathroom constantly. So if my parents knew they might take me checked out and find out why I was wetting the bed.
172.Would it be worse to spend one night all alone in an empty house in the woods, or to spend it with a friend outdoors in a violent thunder storm.
It would be worse to spend the night outdoors in a violent thunderstorm. It might be creepy to stay in a empty house by yourself but that’s not necessarily saying harm will come to you. If you stay outside in a violent thunderstorm well.. you might not make it to see the next day if you get struck by lightning.
173. If you were told you could give a ten-minute speech to your school on any subject you chose, would you want to do it.
NO! Absolutely not! I took speech and I hated it. I’m definitely not a speech giver.
174. What things that you were afraid of a few years ago no longer disturb you?
That I’ll never be married or be alone and never have another relationship. I’m honestly over it. I just want to be financially ok and able to provide for myself.
175. If you were given 1,000 to use to help other people, how would you spend it?
Well since right now there are a lot of people in this world struggling from being hit with COVID, I’d either give it to someone in need of medical assistance or maybe someone who’d lost their jobs and was on the brink of losing their home. And then I’m sure there are foundations that you can donate too that also have been used for this reason.
176. Would you rather have more brothers and sisters than you have now or fewer? What do you think is the best size for a family why?
Neither. I have 2 and I’m not really all that close to either. I don’t want more because I grew up in a household as an only child and I never really felt like I was missing out not have siblings growing up in my house. Way back when I was relatively close to the sister I had. In later years that all went out the window when she showed me who she really was. So for that reason I’m tempted to say fewer.
177. Do you think when you grow up your parents will feel you did better than they had hoped you would do or not as well?
Not as well.
178 Of all the things you could imagine doing when you grow up, which one would most please them? Which would most disappoint them?
Well, I think had I went to Tuskegee (their alma matter) they would have been proud. But when I say this I hope I’m right. I think that if I find a path that leads to me being happy, healthy, and something that would provide a stable life for me after there gone I think that they’d be pleased by that. I’m not sure what would most disappoint them. I guess if I didn’t follow that path and my life went down a path where I was drinking and smoking and thieving and got with someone they’d disapproved of. I don’t think they’d be too thrilled if I got with someone outside my race but I think if I were happy I hope they’d come around
179 Would you rather your family loved one another and always showed how they felt sometimes fighting and yelling sometimes hugging and kissing-or would you prefer they loved one another and hid their feelings whenever they were upset or angry.
Tough one. I have a pretty vocal and expressive family. It depends what the situation is. Sometimes there are things they get angry and upset about that I wish they’d not.
180. If you could have your room either clean and neat all the time or jumbled and messy which would you prefer?
Neat and clean
181. What things scare you even though you know there is no reason to be afraid?
Not being able to take care of myself in the future scares me. Dogs scare me. Pregnancy use to scare me but that is one thing I’m 100 on that I have no need to be afraid of anymore.
182 Have you ever-without telling anyone -let someone beat you at a game you could have easily won? If so why?
Not that I remember.
183 Can you remember a time you succeeded in doing something you thought you would never be able to do? If so, how did it feel? Would you rather try more ambitious things knowing you might fair, or try easier things knowing you would be sure to succeed?
Yes. This year 2020 as a matter of fact. It felt SO good to confront my fears and win! It was REALLY (realy) hard but I did what I set out to do and I got through the fears and negativity of my mind telling me I couldn’t do it. Easier things that I knew I’d succeed in because I’m a lil tired at this point in my life of trying my best and not getting any results.
184. If you had to pick a age to be your whole life, knowing that you would just stay at that age and never grow older, what age would you pick?
185. If you were a teacher and the kids in your class wouldn’t listen to you, what would you do? What if did that and they still didn’t listen?
Ok so one year I applied to work at a summer kid’s camp called “Camp Birmingham” with a good friend of mine. We went through the training but for some reason they said they couldn’t pay us. She quit. I SHOULD have. I let my mother convince me to stay. I think she said she’d pay me. Anyways I remember all the regular counselors “conveniently” all had to go early and I was stuck in a room with all those kids and they didn’t listen to not ONE word I said. The only thing that got them to be quiet was when I started drawing. After that I decided teaching was definitely NOT in the cards for me! And the interesting thing is practically all the women in my family have geared in that direction.
186. Do you think kids should not be allowed to watch certain movies and tv shows? If so what sorts of things should they be permitted to watch?
Yes. Not everything is appropriate for kids to watch. Things that are “safe”. Cartoons with no bad language nor violence. There are also animated movies and tv shows. Things on Disney Plus that are good for kids to watch.
187. If you could live someone else’s life for a week-just to see what it would be like- would you want to? If so, who would you pick and why?
This question was already asked. An astronaut so I could be far away from this Planant and there would be no talk on the moon of (you know what) I wouldn’t have to hear about it or see anything about it. I’m frankly sick to death of it
188, Imagine a good friend came in with a black eye on day and at first wouldn’t say how it happened but later-when you promised not to tell anyone-confessed that his father had gotten mad and hit him. Would you try to do anything to help him? What if two months later the same thing happened again?
I would encourage my friend to speak with someone that was more qualified to handle this situation. I would look up a abuse hotline number that guaranteed that it would be anonymous
189 When was the last time you felt completely happy? What made you feel that way?
It’s a bitter sweet memory but there was a person a while back. I was happy because I thought that the thing I wanted had finally come to pass and every morning I woke up elated that the feelings I had seemed to be returned and there was nothing quite like that feeling.
190. If your baby sitter said she’d let you stay up way past your bed time if you promised not to tell your parent’s-no matter what- would you agree? If you agreed, what would you say if the next morning your mother asked you if you had gone to bed on time.
Answering this as a kid, I’d probably agree and then when she asked I’d be like yep.
191 What was the worse accident you ever caused? Were you angrier at yourself than other people were, or was it the other way around?
I don’t remember causing any bad accidents I caused.
192. What is your favorite day dream?
Any day dream I have with JC in it.
193 Have you ever been blamed for something you didn’t do, yet not told on the person who really did it? If so why didn’t you tell?
I do rememeber getting blamed for something I didn’t do but there wasn’t another person involved. I’m not sure why the person said I did it. Maybe they misunderstood that I was asking for something I wasn’t asking for. I did speak up and say that I didn’t do it tho.
194. Which could be worse: not watching TV for a month or having to come straight home and stay in the house every day for a month?
Maybe not watching TV for a month? I’m ok with not having to go out a lot so that wouldn’t bother me.
195. What are the stupidest rules your parents have about what you can’t do or must do?
The one about not eating a lot of ranch is pretty dumb.
196. IF for one day you could do absolutely anything you wanted and not get caught or punished what would you do?
I would go to Orlando and go in all the stores in Disney and Universal Studies, and Downtown Disney and have a little shopping spree. I’d also go to all the restaurant’s and sneak up to the counters and sample all the foods on the list I made of all the foods I wanna try in Disney.
197. If you had to pick a new first name for yourself, what would you choose?
Tiara. I wanted to call my daughter this but I never had one so I’d call myself this to remind myself no matter how low I felt about myself that I am worthy of wearing a crown because I was a QUEEN.
198. If eating nothing but a tasteless food for a year would make you a lot stronger and more attractive would you do it?
Hmm and this tasteless food was ALL I got to eat. I don’t know. Maybe if eating it would take away my diabetes and make me more attractive..
199. If a friend gave you a gift you didn’t like would you act as though you really did like it?
I’d just say thank you. I remember the last guy I dated gave me a card and a plastic wand it looked like he got at the dollar store that you’d give a 5-year-old. He was like I thought you’d like this. It wasn’t even a REAL wand. A couple of years later I mighta appreciated a wand but not a cheap kids wand. In my mind I was looking at him crazy like what am I supposed to do with that? I was in my 30’s. But it was the thought that counted and this particular ex I knew didn’t have a lot of money. So it might be all they *can* get you. But still, if someone gets you a gift that you don’t like then they REALLY haven’t been paying attention to you at all or know you that well. In the future you might wanna casually throw some hints so the next time they’ll have a better sense of what to get you. Or you can just say “You didn’t have to get me anything. Next time a gift card would be fine.”
200. Who is the meanest kid in your neighborhood? IF you were sure you wouldn’t get caught, what trick would you play on him on Halloween? If you had to make up a story about how that person became so mean what would it be?
I was very fortunate growing up and I got along with all the kids in my neighborhood. They were all pretty cool and none of them were mean. So there was no need to think of tricks to play on them. My ex JB turned mean but he wasn’t exactly a neighbor. He was some streets over from me. I don’t have to make up a story why he turned mean. He did because his Dad was having an affair. At the time, come to think of I would have probably played a mean prank on him on Halloween because at the time I didn’t know this when he did the abrupt 180. It probably would have been the nastiest prank you could think of.
201. What if your biggest failure?
Not choosing better when I was in college. I choose a field that I was good at but wasn’t practical to the location I live in. Also taking better care of myself because later it lead to so many complications!
202. If a friend threw a party and didn’t invite you what would you do?
Probably be thankful that they knew me so well and knew I didn’t like big social events and spared me from having to come.
203 Would you rather be the tallest person in your class or be average height
204. What do you think your family would miss the most about you if you were to die? What would you miss most about them if they died?
Wow! I’m not even sure I have an answer for that. Generally, I hope they’d just miss me overall and not one specific thing. As for them I think the biggest thing collectively is I’d miss how they made me laugh.
205 Do you believe in God? If not, why do you think so many people believe in God? If so, what do you think God does all day?
This is one of those questions that I struggle with. I’ll start with the second part. So, I believe that the people who do believe in God are the people who’ve either 1 have seen things they want or pray for manifest in there own lives or 2 the extreme opposite people who haven’t and are struggling and really NEED to believe that things will turn around so this is why you see people so spiritual and so religious that have it so hard. As for what do I think God does all day I would *think* he listens and watches from above. Do I personally believe in God? I believe there IS one. But then when I hear about all the pain and all the struggles people address and how the world is I just wonder where he is in all of it.
206. If you could set your own allowance, how much would it be? How did you decide on that amount?
1000 dollars a week. Why did I decide on this amount? It would be enough for me to 1 live comfortably on 2 pay for necessities 3 be enough over for me to have for wants
207. After being given a truth pill, you were asked to describe your family. What would you say?
Intelligent, Educated, Great Sense of Humor, Supportive, Social, Loving, Thoughtful, Helpful, Controlling, Narrow-minded, Pushy, Night Owls, Allergic to being on time, Drinkers, Repetitive, Distant, Listeners, Giving, Hard Workers, Non-Workers, Educators, Bossy, Fun, Funny, Over sharers
208 If you could gaze into a magic mirror and see exactly what is happening anywhere in the world, where you look and what do you think you’d see?
In each part of the world my friends were. I’d look in Cali, Atlanta, Mobile, New York, Australia, and Canada. These are places where I have people I love and care about. Generally, I’d see them doing day to day stuff or family stuff.
209 If your teacher and your mother spent an afternoon discussing you, would you like to be able to hear what they were saying? What do you think they would say?
If I was a kid maybe. I don’t think they’d say anything *too* concerning looking back. I wasn’t a problem kid. I came to class and did my work. I wasn’t the *best* student, but I wasn’t the worse either. I was kinda in the middle. They’d probably say I did well in things like art, English, and
210. Have you ever wished someone were dead-or at least had very bad luck? Is so who and why?
YES! Pick an ex! Any ex! I probably wish them bad luck.
211. Would you rather have to repeat a grade in school or gain a lot of weight?
Depends where the weight is going. I can think of some areas that need it. But if it’s just blow up like a balloon then repeat a grade.
212 Have you ever seen your mother or father cry? If not, how do you think it would feel to see that?
No, neither one. I think it would shake me because they’re both such strong individuals and not the crying over anything type.
213. What, if anything really gets on your nerves?
Mention of the corona virus gets on my last nerves! Trying to force me to manipulate me to feel ways to feel things about things I don’t gets on my neves. Loud noises get on my nerves!
214. What would be the best thing that could happen to you? The worse?
To win the publisher’s clearing house sweepstake for a large amount of money a week. The worse would be finding myself homeless and losing everything.
215. What is the thing you dislike most about yourself? Do you think other people care about it as much as you?
That I don’t feel like how far I haven’t gotten in adulthood. I can think of only one whom it bothers.
216. When you and your friend’s play together do you prefer to be at your house or thiers?
Back when I was a kid, I’d probably say there’s.
217. If you were to be stranded for ten years on a tiny island paradise about the size of a football field, how many people would you want with you and who would they be? Make believe you would in no danger and would have a place to sleep as well as any food you needed.
ZERO (people with me).
218. What things do you see people doing just to fill up time and keep themselves busy? What things do you do for the same reason?
Going overboard cleaning everything in sight. Writing, reading, catching up on shows.
219. If you could be a rich and famous rock star but would have to dress strangely and bite the heads off frogs on stage, would you do it?
HARD PASS! That sounds disgusting and fame isn’t everything!
220. Who do you like the most? What is the worst thing about that person?
(I already answered this question)
221. Would you rather change out of a wet bathing suit in a crowded public locker room, or wait until you could change in private when you got home an hour later?
Umm. I have changed in a public bathing suit when going to the beach as a kid. I think as an adult tho I’d wanna change in private at home an hour later.
222. If you were allowed to stop going to school would you? What is the worst thing about school? The best?
As a kid, answering this I would have probably said yes. Considering the fact that every time I got a chance I didn’t *stay* at school and would much rather get checked out. The best thing about school was in elementary school I remembered different fun things like getting a chance to go to the international fair, and plays, and book fairs. I also remember my experience meeting two special little girls that I will never forget. As for HS and college, I would have to say the friends I made and the fun we had. The worse was the work itself. Most of which there was no use for after school ended.
223. Do you think its fun to be a parent? If so what do you think is the best thing about it? If not why do you think people have children?
No, I do not. Yet I suppose there ARE some fun moments if you’d ask a parent. It’s just the natural order of things you get married, you have sex, eventually you have a kid. Sometimes I think people may plan it. A lot of times I think it just happens. I think people have children because they love having sex plain and simple.
224. If you were to offer your parents one tip on how they could be better parents, what would you tell them.
Try to listen more and try putting yourself in someone’s else’s shoes for once. It’s not always gonna be about what *you* think should be the right way.
225. What is the bravest thing you ever did?
Made a blog for a celebrity and actually gave it to them.
226.If you became so sick that you would die if you didn’t stay hooked up to a large life support machine for the rest of your life, would you want someone to pull the plug?
Yes. Because I don’t think that would be *living*. Although I don’t think they’d want to and would have a hard time with the decession. But I’d be at peace with them pulling the plug.
227.If you bought something in a store and the clerk gave you a dollar extra in change, would you say something about his mistake?
It depends when I noticed the mistake. If I were still in the store I’d speak up. If I were halfway home, I’d keep it and wouldn’t feel like turning back around.
228. If something happened to your parents and you had to live with someone else for two years, who would you most like to be with?
Probably my aunt or by them I’d hope I could live on my own and have my own place.
229. What question would you be afraid to ask someone because of the answer you might get?
None come to mind at the moment.
230. If a teacher wanted to find out what you thought and felt how could she best go about getting to know you?
Just ask. I’m not that hard a person to get to know.
231. Do adults sometimes try to get you to watch TV so you won’t bother them? Is so, how does it make you feel? Would you ever do something similar with kids you had to watch?
Uh honestly if I had kids, yeah, I probably would because as I’ve heard so so often kids have a tendancy to annoy you when your trying to do something like (talk on the phone). So I can absolutely see myself saying “Go sit down somewhere and watch tv”.
232. If a friend’s mother died, what would you say to try to help comfort your friend? What could you tell your friend about death?
I would first offer them my condolence’s. Then I would asked did they want to talk about if. If they did I’d listen. If not I’d just try to be there in whatever way they needed. I might suggest we go out to try to cheer them up. My cousin’s mom died last year and sometimes the best thing is just to be there and try to get them out if they feel up to it.
233. How do you think your life would be different if you were three inches taller? Three inches shorter?
Well for one reaching juices and sodas at the grocery store would be easier. I mean what’s up with that. They always put the ones I want WAY up top so unless a tall man walks by you’re just short. Shorter it would change for the worse, people already think I’m younger and I hate that. If I were three inches shorter they’d probably think I was in elementary school.
234.Would you life to protect a good friend if you knew he had stolen something from a neighbor and your father asked you what you knew about it?
Nope! I know absolutely *NOTHING* about that! I don’t want no parts of it. I heard nothing! I saw nothing!
235.Would you be embarrassed to cry in front of your friends? Your father? Your little sister? If so which would be worse and why.
No, I wouldn’t. There’s nothing shameful about crying if you need to. I think that people bottle up their emotions way to much. If I were in pain or hurting over something, I wouldn’t be embarrassed to let it out.
236. If next year you could go to any school you chose; would you want to go somewhere different? If so, in what way do you think it would be better?
I once saw a brochure about the Savannah School of Art in Savannah Georgia. I’ve always thought it would be cool to go there.
237. If some friends of your parents served you some food you thought tasted disgusting and then asked you how you liked it, what would you say? Would your parents want you to tell the truth?
I wouldn’t lie and I wouldn’t tell the truth. I’d probably be like “Mmm. It’s different. I don’t think I’ve ever tasted anything like before. What did you say it was again? Interesting…” I think they’d want me to be polite.
238. How do you think life would change for you if someone in your family got ill and had to stay in the hospital a long time.
With everything going on these days I’d be really worried that they wouldn’t make it out. It would change because I really can’t imagine losing any of em and not having them in my lives daily. I speak to all my family pretty regularly and right now if one took ill, I couldn’t go see them like I normally would.
239. If you had a lot of money and could use it in any way you wanted, what would you do with it.
First, I would put some aside. Then I would find my own place to stay. After that was taken care of I’d give some to a charity. I always support the WWF (World Wildlife Foundation). Then I’d probably travel and see other places in the world. Visit my friends. Take that trip to Disney World I’ve always wanted to take where I can just take my time and do everything on my list.
240. Pretend there are three people in the doctor’s office: a one-year-old baby, a grandmother with a lot of grandchildren who love her, and a teenager who works hard but just flunked out of high school. They are all seriously ill but you can save one of them? Which would you pick?
241. What do your parents do that embarrasses you the most?
My 2nd mother (because I have bad eye sight at night) if we’re out grabs my arm like I’m a little old lady and “guides” me to the car. I know she only does this because she doesn’t want me to trip and fall but sometimes it’s like “I got this.” I think that’s the most embarrassing out of all of em.
242.What foreign country have you heard about the most? What do you think it would be like to grow up there?
Australia. Interesting! It would definitely be an adjustment to get used to the difference of time and weather and the different foods.
243. What is one of your best tricks for getting attention from your parents? From your friends?
Never had one because I’m not an attention seeker. If I want their attention, I just talk to them or hit them up (call or text or email).
244. Would you like to have a brother who was just about the best brother you could imagine-friendly smart good at everything he tried and close to you if it meant that everyone would always talk about how great he was and not pay much attention to you.
This question makes me think of my best friend whose brother was actually like this and he had to live through this. I didn’t grow up with my brother and had no knowledge of him until late into high school. But I don’t think it would have bothered me because like I said earlier, I never cared about attention being on me. Although it probably WOULD have gotten on my nerves if I had to hear that day in and day out.
245. Would you rather be slender and athletic but rather dumb or fat and clumsy but very smart.
Thick, clumsy, smart
246. Would you rather receive a gift you really wanted or give your mother a gift she’d absolutely treasure?
Give my mother (either) a gift she’d absolutely treasure.
247. Are you afraid there will be a nuclear war? Is so, do you have any ideas how to keep it from happening?
Well if Trump would have stayed president it might have come to that, but now that American’s have voted against him I think that will definitely keep that from happening
248. Would you rather have no rules at all or live with the rules you have now? If there weren’t any rules, what would you do differently?
I don’t have any “rules” so to speak but it’s always things I feel restricted from doing that would be different if I lived alone. I feel like I’d have more freedom to do things like get a tattoo or change my room any way I wanted (black or not) and not have any scrutiny.
249 If someone is doing something wrong, is it usually better to tell an adult or to try to solve the problem on your own? For example, if you saw someone stealing things from other kids, would you tell a teacher? What if big kid spit on your lunch?
Neither. It’s better to keep your mouth shut. You can’t be a snitch as awful as it sounds or they’ll be beating up and stealing your stuff. Now you might could leave an anonymous note what you saw. That way you’d have your basis covered if it really did get to you. As for the big kid spitting on your lunch (man I’m so glad I didn’t have these kinds of issues when I was a kid compared with the bullying that goes on then and now) but you should speak up to some one because I’ve heard people that have committed suicide from being bullied.
250. If you knew that by never again eating junk foods or candy, you would live until age 75 rather than 60, would you give them up?
Umm no. 60 is more than fine. The Countdown app told me that was gonna be the age I leave here.
251. Do you think it would be worse to be raised by two parents who fought all the time but who both loved you or by a single parent who loved you.
Lol well since I already DID have the first choice.
252. If you could decide right now whether or not you will smoke cigarettes when you grow up, what would you decide? What about using drugs, or drinking a lot? How would you think it would change your life if you did the opposite?
Ok so if I’m answering this as a kid no. I would have said no then about smoking. It’s just never appalled to me. Then or now. The same for drugs. As for drinking a lot. My Dad gave me a little taste of beer and I thought NEVER AGAIN and thought it was horribly nasty. So, I probably would have said no to drinking too. Had I been a smoker, a drinker, and a drug user. I probably would have ended up like my last ex, constantly going to the ABC store daily and getting high after I came home from a low paying job to a run-down apartment that the ceiling was falling in and was as cold as a witch’s tit in the winter. Then nine times out of ten I would have had three different baby daddies .
253. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? If you could watch a movie that was so funny it made you laugh that hard for two hours, would you want me?
I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard I cried. But Yes I’d watch a movie like that.
254. What is the most unfair thing about the way your family is run?
I already answered this a few times.
255. If, by magic you had the power to pick one person and always be able to read that person’s mind who would you pick?
I don’t really have anyone in mind.
256. What is the most important thing you have learned about life in the past few years? How did you learn it?
That if you want someone’s attention drop ALL interest in them. Learned that from experience. And that the best person you can depend on is yourself.
257.What is the funniest story you ever made up about why you weren’t able to get your homework finished on time?
I don’t remember making up any I just did my homework.
258 If drinking a magic potion would make you never again feel sad-no matter what happened-would you drink it?
I’m of two minds on this. I want to say yes because there are a lot of times I’ve felt myself sad over certain circumstances and wished I had no feeling-but if someone close to me where to die I’d want to be able to feel grief because I cared about them.
259 Make believe that right now you have to pick the job you will have as an adult. What is the best job you can think of? Wost?
Animator or Reviewer. Teacher.
260. If you could ask your parents any questions for an hour and know that would ell you the absolute truth, what sorts of things would you ask? Pretend they would answer everything but afterwards forget they had even talked to you?
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if you write smut how about a stiles smut where everyone is out on a trip and leave y/n and stiles alone together
A/N: HI! i just wanna say this is the first time I’m writing in forever, so bare with me. I hope it was what you were hoping for. I don’t think i am the best at smut but i tried! Also i didn’t proofread and i wrote on my phone so sorry if any mistakes! Hope you enjoy omg!
warnings: 18+ smut, unprotected sex (WRAP IT UP ALWAYS), nightmares and swearing. think that’s it.
word count: 1.3k
“I just can’t believe they decided to leave me here with you..” She groaned, looking at the brown haired boy sitting nonchalantly on the edge of the bed. “Wow you are just hurting my feelings now.” Stiles placed his hand over his heart, whining in a joking manner, while watching the girl pace back and forth.
The pack had planned a little trip before the new school year was about to start. But when she had a harder time bouncing back after what happened with the dread doctors. Nightmares and still seeing visions of them daily they thought it might be better for her to stay home
“They just didn’t want me to ruin their trip with my stupid dreams.” Letting out a sigh you finally sat down on the other side of the bed. She didn’t hate Stiles, far from it actually. But the two of them always had this teasing attitude towards each other. Her end may have developed from a little crush when they were younger. But she thinks his may just be because he disliked the girl. “You know that’s not true.” Stiles stood up and walked over so he was standing in front of her, glancing down. “You being here means you’re in our territory and we have the resources we need if you break down” He spoke softly. This tone of voice was not normal coming from him.
Looking up she nodded , “Sorry for being a brat I didn’t think they would leave you to babysit. I was assuming it would have been Lydia.” Stiles shrugged, “I know what it’s like to have something burned into your brain and not able to let go of it. They just assumed we could relate to one another'' Finally he took a seat next to her, and looked over the soft features of her face . Her eyebrows knitted together like his words were causing the girl to think about something deeper.
“I never did pay much attention to you after all of that happened yanno.. with the nogitsune. I’m sorry I wasn't much of a friend then. So thank you for trying to help me even when I wasn’t much help to you feeling more like yourself.” She looked over and was immediately met with his dreamy eyes, and she let her eyes take their time looking over his facial features, connecting every mole in her mind.
Stiles let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head, “Don’t sweat it. I kinda actually like the real you” he smiled, “So if that means I gotta miss out on partying on a beach just to help you feel like yourself again, I guess I just couldn’t say no” he teased at her, bumping her shoulder with his softly.
She didn’t know what was coming over her, but in this moment she felt as if she could tell Stiles how she was feeling. “I just can’t ever get their faces out of my head. If Scott wouldn’t have found me, I don’t know what would have happened. I don’t remember anything but them.” She groaned in frustration. Stiles let out a sigh, before she spoke again. “I just want to forget about them even if it’s just for a second. I just want to feel at peace.” Stiles grabbed her chin tilting her face to meet his, “Let me help you forget..” She was at a loss for words, but before her mouth could speak her head nodded. No time was wasted on his end. He placed his lips against hers hungrily, her tongue was slipping against his bottom lip.
As their mouths molded against one another, groans coming from his throat just made her feel more excited about what they were doing at this moment. She made a move to straddle his lap, not breaking the kiss once. Her hands finding his shoulders, gripping on tightly. Pulling back slightly, heavy panting was in the air. “What do you want sweetheart” Stiles spoke in a low tone, before moving to place sloppy kisses across her jaw. “You. I want you stiles.” She started to grind her hips down, feeling his bulge straining in his pants against her core. She was dripping no doubt.
“Keep doing that and you’ll make me cum my pants darling,” He gripped her hips halting the movements. In one swift move she was now laying flat on his bed, looking up at his face. It was full of nothing but lust.
Clothes were thrown around the room, and she was in awe of how his body looked hovering over her as he began to rip open a condom packet. “Please.. no. I want to feel you Stiles.” She placed her hand on top of his to stop him from ripping the foil packet open, he looked at her. “On the pill” she nodded quickly, he tossed the packet to the side. Lining himself up at her leaking hole, “Focus on me baby,” she nodded at his words. He pushed himself into her with one swift movement.
A low groan came from his throat asthe pleasure washed over him, “So tight baby.. fuck.” She reached up and held onto his biceps as he rocked into her at a decent pace. Moving his thumb to her bundle of nerves, she whined out. “Fuck.” Keeping a steady rhythm with his thrusts and the movement on his thumb on her clit. “Think about how good I’m filling you up. Such a good girl taking all of me off rip” He spoke so surely of his words, he was so confident that he was making her feel unbelievable pleasure. “Faster” she spoke.
He did as she wished for, as his pace quickened her stomach felt so full, he was hitting just the right spot. “I want you cum in me Stiles” she moaned out, he sighed at those words. “Such a dirty slut wanting me to fill you up with my cum.” Whining out at his words, he took notice that she liked the things he was saying. “Yeah you like being called a dirty slut” he smirked and moved down to suck at her pebbled nipple all while keeping his deep thrusts and thumb playing her nerves.
“Whose slut are you?” He asked before attacking her other nipple with his tongue lapping around it. “Yours” she closed her eyes tightly as her stomach felt like it was going to burst from pleasure any second now. Stiles pulled back, “Whose?” He halted his thumb against her clit before placing a quick gentle slap against it while rocking into her harder than before. “Yours Stiles.. fuck I’m gonna cum” He leaned down and placed a few kisses against her plump lips, whispering as he pulled back, “keep your eyes open and on me baby, I want to see your face when we cum together princess” placing on more kiss against her lips he pulled back. Applying pressure to her clit as he hit her spot with each thrust, he knew he was ready to burst at the seams, “cum now, fuck. let go baby” she held her eyes open and released onto his cock. Her orgasm caused her body to wiggle under his as he fucked into her while his orgasm washed over him. The warm liquid filled her body as soft sighs and panting was filling the room.
Moments have passed, they lay together naked under the blankets. Her head placed on his chest, legs still sore. She felt euphoric after that. She felt something other than fear for the first time in forever. Placing a small kiss to his chest. Stiles chuckled and pushed some hair off of her forehead, “what was that for?” She smiled looking up at him, “for making me forget.” He smiled and placed a kiss on her lips, “I will always help you forget.”
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— TITLE :: Perfect Circle
— CHARACTERS :: Piyapon Niratpattanasai | Teal / Choi Hajoon | Joon, referenced Lost Boys ensemble
— WARNINGS :: Character death, blood + gore, violence, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, general angst. It isn’t as intense as Cadmium but it also is spaced out: if you don’t feel comfortable reading, send me a dm or ask off anon and I’ll be happy to give you a censored rundown!
— WORD COUNT :: 10k
— SUMMARY :: In which balance is restored. || A big fat thank you + an I Care You So Much for Lane @hell-bcy official who, without her, this whole arc wouldn’t be possible + an extra dose for helping me proof and edit this piece!
Teal remembered Joon said it was all about some order of things, and that he’d start to feel back to himself in a matter of a few days. His appetite came back, and he had energy again: not the energy that swirled around dangerously in the cavern of his chest, but…the energy of someone that was once known as the life of the party. To put it plainly, Teal finally felt alive again.
He still hadn’t moved back into the dorms and he knew Mood was at the end of his patience with the crasher on his couch. Yes, Teal went to a schedule he had with the group, but didn’t say anything outside of it and immediately left. While he felt alive again, he didn’t feel ready to talk to any of the members.
Hours later, Teal was finally free and felt better. The sun had long since set, and he’d managed to upload some pictures to his Instagram to keep Harbors off his back for his prolonged silence. His eyes flickered down past the influx of notifications from fans to messages he’d yet to answer. He’d lost track of how long he’d just been walking before he sat down and got himself some food: the boy simply wasn’t ready to go home…or at least where he was staying for now. Teal glanced at the time, then tapped the screen to compose a new message.
나 at 23:30 : joon can i come over?
쥬니 at 23:33 : did your friend finally kick you out
나 at 23:34 : no
나 at 23:34 : i want to see you
쥬니 at 23:35 : oh
나 at 23:35 : i’m taking that as an okay see you soon
Teal knew exactly where to find Hell House. He’d only been there once but it pinged on his phone. In his head, he knew he was better now, but he remembered how the illusion of confidence had shattered and how Teal ended up crying on Joon’s lap, the sobs later ebbing away with Joon’s thumb rubbing circles into his hip until sleep finally overtook him.
Beneath his clothes, Teal was vaguely aware of the mark on his right hip: he didn’t know what it meant. Joon said something about sigils, and Teal kind of missed the rest. He was preoccupied with getting rid of the blood: it didn’t hurt, or at least he didn’t remember it hurting when it appeared.
The tall boy licked his lips and knocked on the door, going for a whimsical sort of rhythm between knocks as if it were a count for a dance. He shuffled between his feet, waiting: worst comes to worst, it wouldn’t be Joon who answered the door. It had to be bedtime for Near and Isaac…or past it. That left the other three: he could push past Cato easily, and probably Jae. It wasn’t easy to stop someone of his height with his energy back. However, fortune favored the bold, and Joon was the member who showed up at the door.
Joon could have flown down the stairs from his room when he heard the knocking at the door. He knew very well that it wasn’t one of the other members ordering food at this late hour: it couldn’t have been anyone but Teal. Since he got back from Jeju, the thought of seeing Teal again would be the highlight of his week if he weren’t lying to himself. They’d kept in touch through text, and he could see Teal’s spunk coming back as his replies got longer, dotted with emojis and even pictures of himself, of his food. Each text was filled with so much life, he could almost feel Teal right next to him.
Not a single word was able to leave his lips before a hand cupped his jaw and another pulled him closer by the back of his neck. He couldn’t forget that Teal wasn’t one for formalities until it was too late: Joon still found the corners of his mouth tugging up in a smile as Teal bounced on his feet as he slotted their lips together.
Teal tasted like soda and something fried, the last remnants of hot sauce tingling on Joon’s lips. His hands found the indent of Teal’s waist, tugging him into the house by the fabric of the patterned shirt and letting gravity close the door behind them. Joon always said he wasn’t the biggest fan of kissing: if he wanted something, he just wanted to get off and get on with his life.
Then Teal somehow happened, and he felt like he couldn’t get enough. His hands detangled from the shirt and moved to hold either side of the younger boy’s face, drawing a hum up from his chest.
“Hey to you too, dummy.”
Teal smiled, and Joon felt air rushing through his chest. Joon took a step back to look at Teal, to get a good look at the progression of the ritual’s effect. He sighed in relief. Teal’s vibrations weren’t of that of an engine smoking, seconds away from collapsing in on itself. They were steady, fluid in the air and both warm and cool as his aura wrapped around Joon like a spring breeze.
He radiated green, bright and clear like a tropical ocean view, almost matching in color to his name. Teal. Gone were the violets and blacks that drained the life from the boy. He was healing, balance was being restored: Joon succeeded.
“Back to normal, huh?,” asked Joon, casting a glance over his shoulder as the two ascended the stairs and rounded their path into Joon’s room.
“I mean, yeah,” said Teal, striding in after him and leaning against the closed door. “I’ve been eating and even went to work today.”
“How’d that go for you?”
His stomach lurched when he brought his group up. Yes, Teal went and did what he had to do, bumping elbows and cracking jokes and laughing loud enough for the world to hear. Solstice didn’t fuck around when it came to their training: they made sure their performance abilities were up to par, and they didn’t skip out when it came to teaching their artists how to act and maintain their image. Teal knew better than to fuck that up.
Seyoung stared at him like he had three heads, but his eyes spoke volumes that the second he returned home or was alone, he’d verbally get his ass handed to him. Minwoo looked like he might cry, words of concern caught in his throat but cut off by a glare from their leader. Hanseong smiled at him and joked around like nothing had happened until the cameras were off of them.
None of the other members could hardly look at him. He felt, then: he felt bad for dipping out on them, for lashing out at Kyucheol. But he wasn’t ready to even hold an unprompted, unscripted conversation with them…any of them.
“Hm, I don’t wanna talk about it,” confessed the brunette, noting that he’d caught the post of his piercing between his front teeth again. Teal didn’t want to make the meeting with Joon so heavy. “I got a really good combo meal after the shoot, though. They gave me a discount, forgot what the place was called – I remember where it is, I can take you there if you wanna go!”
Joon had sat himself down on the edge of his bed, eyes soft as he listened to Teal talk about his day. He could easily tell he was dancing around talking about something…but he didn’t mind. Hearing Teal talk was a good change of pace, the deep voice rolling over his syllables, shortening words as he went. It was painfully cute, how the foreigner had taken the Korean language and made it his own.
Teal sat down next to Joon, nudging his leg with his knee. It made a small smile quirk up the sides of his lips as he nudged Teal’s leg back. He needed the break from pretending he was a normal idol and trying to…it didn’t matter, not when Teal leaned over, nuzzling into his neck. His breath tickled the skin there, causing him to raise his shoulders: the younger boy laughed then, and Joon’s stomach did a flip.
He remembered hearing the sound of Teal’s unrestrained laughter for the first time, on the beach in Jeju. They’d just arrived at the sea shore, and Joon found himself enjoying the breeze through his hair. He knew how everyone said the air in Jeju was healing, and had begun to think about it when Teal took off running.
Teal’s laugh carried through the air, tugging Joon’s wrist for some of the way as he barreled over the sand and straight into the water, the waves crashing around Teal’s legs. He looked back at Joon and laughed, his hair catching in the wind: something about him running and splashing in the water fully clothed felt right, even when he ran back up to Joon and threatened to pull him into the chilly surf.
“Teal,” he began, squirming until the younger boy retracted his cursedly soft lips to rest his chin on Joon’s shoulder. “I’m still not gonna just give you my knife.”
“How did you know–Why not? I didn’t get a Jeju souvenir.”
Teal knew he was fibbing: technically, he did get a souvenir. It was a seashell, rounded with delicate ridges and colorful stripes. He didn’t know what type it was, but when he found it stabbing into his knee with its broken edge…something in him wanted to take it. Maybe he’d put it in a little jar with other shells, or maybe put it onto a necklace or earring somehow. It was a pretty, broken thing and he wanted to keep it safe so it wouldn’t break more.
“I would have bought you one of those keychains, all ya had to do was ask.”
“Mm, but I want a cool knife, not a keychain.”
“What do you need a knife for, anyways?”
“They’re pretty and shiny, like you,” said Teal, breaking into a wide grin. He didn’t protest as Joon lifted his chin with his index finger, crooking his face upwards. It was almost tempting to stick his tongue out as a taunt, but even Teal knew how that would go. He knew Joon still had the golden knife, decorated with the dragon with cadmium red eyes.
“You don’t think they’re…I dunno, scary?,” Joon asked, genuine and curious as he peered into Teal’s eyes. He was just searching for some semblance of yes, they’re scary, you are. Just so he’d have more reason to turn Teal away, so he wouldn’t feel this urge to open up and let Teal in to fill in the cracks. Part of him wanted so desperately to hear the simple affirmation. But the other part was mortified at the thought of just that.
Teal snorted, leaning forward to peck Joon’s lips and pulling himself back only so that the ends of their noses touched.
“No way,” said Teal, grabbing Joon’s hand from under his chin, coiling his fingers around it with a gentle squeeze. Simultaneous relief and terror fought in Joon’s stomach. “What kinda pirate’s scared of knives?”
“I forgot,” replied Joon, barely able to cover his words up from stammering. He remembered the confident grip that Teal had on the dagger, so much as twirling the damn thing and not flinching when it nicked his hand. Joon was faintly aware of the paper thin scar on the side of Teal’s thumb as it healed. That wasn’t the behavior of someone who was afraid of knives…and by extension, of him. “You’re the brave type of baby pirate.”
Even as Teal released his hand to settle on the top of Joon’s thigh, pushing forward to kiss him again, Joon felt the butterflies, the warmth in shades of green and gold…and then he felt the fear tipping the scales like a bruise welling up around a broken lip. Teal might be back to normal but Joon felt out of balance. He wasn’t supposed to feel these things, it was something he never found any use for. That wasn’t what made him a witch and it wouldn’t grant him more power in the long run. It just made him feel weak. It was something that could be taken away to hurt him in the long run.
Joon pulled away from Teal, smoothing his hands down the younger boy’s shoulders and looking over them to where he saw the glint of a knife. There were many things that Joon didn’t want to do, and they often overlapped with the things he needed to do so he could survive.
He had to restore the balance.
“Actually, I got you another present.”
“If it’s your dick again I won’t compl–”
“No,” Joon interrupted, his ears heating up. He braced his jaw and smiled, forcing his face not to tremble, not to betray any conflict inside. This was what he’d done for years, it wouldn’t be any different now. “It’s better.”
“So you’re gonna give me the knife?”
“Not quite. I just need you to lay down and close your eyes.”
“Oooh…are you gonna –”
“Patience, baby. You’ll see.”
Teal looked at him quizzically, but didn’t push further. He laid back down on Joon’s bed, legs dangling off the edge, hands folded behind his head. Joon paused as he stood up: Teal looked so peaceful, so perfectly harmless as he laid there. There was an opportunity to pull a fast one, to forget balance and play a little prank on Teal, to get him so worked up and whiny until he couldn’t stand it anymore…but that would only push Joon, himself, too far.
His feet fell silently as he crossed the room, the dagger cool and familiar in his hands. It wasn’t the dragon dagger Teal had been wanting to be given but…his thumb ran over the bejeweled hilt. It was a beautifully crafted piece…and it certainly was shiny. If he breathed in deeply and closed his eyes…maybe it wouldn’t be scary, either. His hand would remain steady, the aim of the blade true…and balance restored.
Joon knew where to stab to make it quick and painless: it was something he didn’t remember needing to commit to memory. It wasn’t every day he spilled human blood: but it would help him. He’d be balanced again, ready for the extended power he was promised to flow freely through his veins like Teal’s would flow out onto his sheets. Joon had meant to get new ones, anyhow.
He couldn’t let Teal be his weakness; he simply wouldn’t allow it. The younger boy had made him feel so different than he had before, Teal made him feel so fucking soft. Joon wanted to be hardened like steel.
His hand splayed over Teal’s chest, running over the line of buttons down the center of the shirt, the top two already open with the same two necklaces adorning his collar.
“You always have cold hands, Joonie?”
“I’m not even touching you yet.”
“I can feel you, though. You’re cold and my shirt’s not thick as hell.”
Joon remembered the sound and smell of his skin burning, bubbling off his flesh. He knew the sound of bones breaking, of blood curdling screams and the sight and smell of all kinds of viscera. They all haunted him, in some way.
But something about the sound of Teal’s last breath as the blade sunk at just the right angle into his chest…something pinged to Joon that it, too, would join the legions of things that would keep him up at night if only he’d let them. The dagger dully fell onto the side of the mattress as Joon’s hand shook, the blood splatters gruesomely artful across the patterns of his shirt, blossoming out of the sole stab wound.
Joon wavered, wiping the blood from his hand as he brushed over Teal’s face, closing the sightless eyes and pausing over the part of his lips. It would take a few days, but he’d feel normal again. Balance would be aligned within him, and he could move on. Death was an old friend who Joon knew well, the great balancer, taking so that Life could give somewhere else…it was fine, or would be.
Months had passed and he’d grown almost accustomed to feeling dirty, like no matter how hard he scrubbed, there Teal’s blood was still on his hands. Joon had to accept it as part of the balance: he would be able to actually move on once the body was gone from the middle of his bed.
Except it wasn’t quite that easy.
It was all over the news: the media was in a frenzy with the beloved maknae of Lost Boys gone missing. Conspiracies popped up everywhere. The group’s comeback was halted three times before it was cancelled altogether. Lost Boys members eventually came to a unanimous decision to disband, because it wouldn’t be the same without their boisterous rapper-dancer once they’d given up hope for his safe return. Some of the members made a new group, trying to move forward with their careers.
He understood fans mourning: groups came and went. Joon kept his head down and said nothing disrespectful towards the group who had debuted around the same time as Hellboy, jumping around in their masks and buzzing with potential.
Joon just had to find and distract himself with other pretty things, other charms and concoctions to make himself forget the one clip that was going around that showed Teal in the dance studio, his hair half up and sweaty but he was smiling and full of energy, promising the best choreography yet. He’d never bothered to check into Teal’s profiles. It took until after he’d killed him for Joon to learn that Teal had two little sisters who would never see their big brother come home.
Keeping himself distracted was easier said than done.
The body was gone but…Joon got the sense that Teal was still lingering in the Hell House. The members would talk about hearing the fridge opening at all hours alongside the creaking of the stairs when Near was home alone. Most of the activity took place in Joon’s room.
He was always tempted to go sleep on the couch, but Joon always managed to go back. Pretending he didn’t see his knives moving, not reacting when he felt a faint tug on one of his belt loops, wishing his heart didn’t shoot up through his chest when he’d look in the mirror and see Teal behind him. He’d be lying if he said the presence wasn’t vaguely comforting to him.
He jumped at the tapping on his door, though Joon barely blinked as Jae let himself in. Warily, he eyed the other member, folding his arms and looking at the witch with…something vaguely reminiscent of pity. Joon hated it.
“I’m fine, Jae,” he said, nudging the older boy out the door. They were already going to be late for their schedule as is, or at least he would be. What good would it be for the group’s leader to be late, too? “Let’s just go.”
He knew he couldn’t avoid the conversation forever. It wasn’t good for a spirit to linger for too long…Teal needed to cross over before he eventually would become corrupted. Joon remembered the seemingly different being who took over during the ritual, and it brought up a question: how long would it be for his spirit to go from opening the fridge to something more sinister? What if he grew more and more twisted until he got his revenge on the witch? Joon couldn’t watch the presence turn from a residual haunting into a poltergeist. He simply couldn’t allow it.
Joon didn’t want Teal to suffer, and wanted him to cross over into hell even less. He knew that’s exactly where he’d be going one day, but he didn’t want to see Teal sent there. At the same time…he wouldn’t mind being reunited with him eventually. It was a lot to process. And could surely wait for another day. They’d see each other in hell, probably. At least he had something to look forward to.
“Baby pirate? Could a baby pirate do this?”
Teal’s voice raising snapped Joon out of his thoughts, causing him to rapidly blink, staring at the younger boy as he apparently took his words as a challenge. But he was there, alive, no hole bored into his chest that Joon could take notice of as the younger boy shoved him backwards before laying down on top of him.
He was solid, and he was breathing; Teal’s hands were warm as they slipped under Joon’s hoodie, fingers fanning out over his stomach and chest. Joon could feel the slight coolness of his rings pressing into his skin. A quiet gasp stole Joon’s words when Teal pressed his lips to his neck, teasing the beginnings of a hickey without a drop of shame.
“Shit, not even gonna treat your hyung to dinner first?”
“I asked if you wanted me to get you food, you said no,” Teal teased, the deep voice lowering to a hum that buzzed in the curve of Joon’s neck. He told the truth, he did ask and had almost gone ahead and got snacks…but knew he wouldn’t be able to control himself the second he took them away from the register. Teal felt Joon’s hands pushing up his sides, working the buttons of his shirt open, rolling his shoulders to help shimmy the fabric down his arms.
Shirt abandoned to the floor, Teal sat up, fingers trailing down Joon’s stomach and pressing into his hips. Joon whined, lifting up against the weight that still lingered over him. It was a blessing and a curse that Teal remembered that weak spot that left him minutes from shaking in anticipation.
Teal inched his way down, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses down the redhead’s stomach, pulling his hips towards the edge of the bed as Teal settled onto the floor. The bed groaned quietly as Joon sat up, catching a hiss between his teeth when Teal’s lips attached to the arc of his inner thigh, sucking tiny welts into the flesh. Joon’s hands twitched at his side, tempted to urge Teal along faster since he knew well what was about to happen.
He remembered the beach on Jeju. It had only been hours since they’d done the ritual…and Teal was just a little bit crazier than anticipated. Running into the ocean fully clothed without warning was one thing. Ducking between angled beach umbrellas to suck Joon off in the middle of the afternoon in goddamn Jeju, knowing Joon was not a quiet man…he had to be some color of batshit insane.
Teal wasn’t the type to hesitate, even when he’d intended to go about playing around and teasing…when it came to certain things, he got impatient, especially when he was faintly aware of his mouth watering. He wasted no time in tugging away the fabric, eager to slowly lick up the underside of Joon’s shaft. Teal was never one to start with tiny kitten-licks, anyhow.
Joon sighed, making Teal figure he let his eyes flutter to a close, his head dipping back: it was what he did in Jeju, anyhow, as Teal remembered. He was so pretty to watch and listen to, and with the fact that Teal really enjoyed how he tasted? God had favorites. But whether it was Joon for having all these traits or Teal being able to experience them…he didn’t know or care too much.
He eagerly took the tip of Joon’s cock into his mouth, the start of a moan falling from Joon’s lips motivating Teal to move forward, to take more in without making him wait for it. With every move, he made certain to press the barbell of his piercing against him, dragging it along as he pulled back up.
Joon’s hands ghosted those pressed over Teals as they meandered up the redhead’s thighs, pressing into the juncture of his hips. They moved slowly, one hand moving to weave its fingers through Teal’s hair. Surprisingly, the dark locks were soft, free of any product that would have left his hair greasy, or worse, crunchy.
He tugged lightly on Teal’s hair, and the boy moaned around him, causing Joon’s hips to twitch up off the edge of his bed.
“Shit, you’re so good, baby. Fuck.”
Pride swelled up in Teal’s chest as he continued, hollowing his cheeks and letting Joon completely fill his mouth. He knew he was doing well, and the fact that Joon had given up on even trying to be quiet only egged Teal on to go a little bit faster, staying just a little bit deeper.
His throat wouldn’t be thanking him later, and the reflex tears forming in the corner of his eyes weren’t something to be stopped, but Teal couldn’t care less. Teal could almost taste Joon being driven closer to the edge under the wet sounds of his own mouth.
“Teal, fuck, I’m so–”
Teal blinked up at Joon and squeezed his hips harder, letting the older boy pull him off, a string of saliva connecting glossy lips to Joon’s dick. It might have been more pressing to the first time Teal entered Hell House, but now he had time. He wasn’t close to collapsing in on himself if Joon didn’t touch him.
“Noooo,” insisted Teal, sitting up on his heels and pressing a finger against Joon’s lips. He smiled warmly at the seated boy, keeping his finger there for another moment longer. “C’mon, hyung, you know you wanna~”
He didn’t need to explain further than simply staring up at Joon and licking his lips. With the grip on his hair slackened, Teal took no time to enclose his mouth around Joon once more, not missing a beat on his own steady pace. He hummed, casting another quick glance up at Joon through his lashes.
His abdomen tightened with anticipation and Teal pressed again into Joon’s hips, fingers pushing the hoodie he’d forgotten to help Joon out of further up his stomach, wanting to just touch more and more of Joon’s skin.
Teal started bobbing faster and became more purposeful with his flattened tongue. He could tell with the tense grasp in his hair and the shallow thrusts into his mouth that Joon was dangerously close: they were easy signs to remember.
After all, Teal had sucked him off on a public beach. As fun as it was, getting to hear Joon without fear that they’d be caught was so much better. He let every twitch and noise consume his senses, finally able to enjoy himself after too long being numb.
Teal heard Joon come before he actually did, and it made him want to smile, choking slightly, a small dribble of cum escaping out of the corner of his mouth when he truly couldn’t help himself. He licked his lips, sitting forward on his knees to press them to Joon’s hips, moving upwards now towards his stomach.
“What the hell,” huffed Joon, panting and smoothing down the mess he’d made of Teal’s hair. His chest rose and fell under Teal’s advance upwards, caught between Joon and the hoodie soon abandoned to the floor. The younger boy’s arms circled around his waist, sitting up on his knees to chase the newly exposed skin.
“See,” Teal replied, nose scrunching up in a grin far too cute, far too boyish and innocent for the context. He felt the scratchiness of his voice, the vague stickiness of his throat, but was otherwise unbothered. “Told ya you’d like it~”
He knew that Joon would like it, whether he finished anywhere in or on Teal or not, but Teal couldn’t help but rub it in. Even when he was being a brat, Teal always preferred to finish what he started: it was a bonus that he always, always swallowed.
Teal rose to his feet, shimmying out of his pants without bothering with his belt, too stubborn as Joon’s hands pulled his hips closer, tracing the outline of the mark he’d made as the boy flopped over, long legs splayed over Joon’s lap.
“Really?,” Joon asked, unable to hide the amusement in his eyes as he took in the neon-colored skull and crossbones pattern all over the boy’s boxers. He ran his hands over Teal’s thighs, squirming out from under them to loom over him.
“Appreciate a concept,” joked Teal, taking on the exact inflection he remembered Seyoung always lecturing the younger members with when they got bored of…mostly anything. He wasn’t about to admit that…there was a lot of kitschy themed underwear floating around the group with even more put into circulation every goddamn holiday season.
“I’ll appreciate the concept of them being on my floor.”
“I’ll be here all night,” Teal said carelessly, dark locks fanning out around his head like a halo as Joon pushed his shoulders back down against the mattress. It was his own nonchalant way of inviting himself over to stay the night, a hidden confession that he had nowhere else to go. But he wasn’t ready to admit to himself that while Mood’s door was still open, he just didn’t want to go back there.
The couch at Mood’s place was comfortable, but he didn’t get much sleep, not since Jeju. Part of him considered sneaking into Mood’s room with him, maybe the comfort of sleeping next to someone would help. Teal would then remember they weren’t kids anymore, and wasn’t sure how Mood was these days about being touched.
Joon laughed fondly, pushing his hands up Teal’s thighs, feeling the warm skin beneath his boxer shorts, causing him to lift his hips slightly. Teal’s hands wrapped around his wrists and he squeezed, smiling and sticking out his tongue at the redhead.
“Don’t gotta rush~”
“Funny comin’ from you.”
“I’d have taken it as oh he really likes how my dick tastes and would be honored he wants more.”
“Honored?,” Joon asked, fingertips trailing down Teal’s sides. In the warm golden light, Teal almost looked like he did in Jeju once the sun came out through the clouds. The glow bounced off the skin of his cheeks and it was hard for him not to try and count every freckle across the bridge of Teal’s nose.
There had to be some law of nature forbidding one person to be so pretty. Even when he was fraying at the edges, obsidian leaking from the seams, Teal was a sight to see. Joon still found himself unprepared for just how he looked with light behind his eyes, more fullness to his cheeks. Something about the view of Teal beneath him, either like this or down on his knees before him…
It made Joon feel off balance, teetering dangerously close to the edge when Teal laughed quietly and nodded, nose scrunching with a smile when he talked again.
Teal brought up his hands, pressing down on the backs of Joon’s shoulders until he got the hint. Kissing as another language, one where he didn’t feel the burden of possibly using one wrong syllable to completely skew a meaning of a phrase. It also stopped his mind from wandering over too many questions and words he didn’t want to admit rang true for him.
Making out was much better for him as he happily allowed Joon’s tongue to wrap around his, prying as far into Teal’s mouth as he possibly could. Joon wasn’t as warm as Teal, but it was fine as they pressed their bodies together: the brunette was always happy to help a friend warm up.
He felt Joon’s breath against his neck when the two eventually moved, the older boy now trapped between Teal and the bed. A shameless moan was squeezed out of Teal’s mouth when Joon’s lips and teeth closed down on the skin of his neck. His head rolled to the side, dropping to his elbows to welcome Joon to more. Most of Teal’s previous partners…weren’t so active: he’d be the one doing all the work, leaving all the marks save for maybe scratches down his back, if that.
“Don’t stop,” Teal breathed, knotting his fingers into the back of Joon’s hair as their positions were reversed again. He could feel each of Joon’s teeth biting into his skin, the indents smoothed over by attentive lips and tongue. Joon hummed into Teal’s neck, continuing up towards his jaw while his hands travelled downwards.
“Needy, aren’t you?,” Joon asked, layering kisses over the bites and pressing his hands down against where Teal’s hips raised up.
“I just wanna feel you,” replied Teal, causing Joon to pause. The redhead pulled away, forehead nearly dropping against Teal’s as he took in the sight of the flushed cheeks and parted lips, the slightly dazed look in his eyes. He didn’t apply any kind of essence, he rarely did when he wasn’t going anywhere.
“Then you’ll have to wait.”
“I have all night,” said the brunette, pulling Joon down flush against him. Joon bit his lip and he could feel his pulse in his ears, ringing clearly as the dagger swiped from the bedside between the left side of Teal’s ribs. Teal’s gasp replaced the hammering heartbeat, and Joon could feel himself sinking.
“Hyung…?,” asked Teal, his eyes shaking and wide. Though it was heat of the moment…Joon had enough practice with knives and bodies to know where to aim for. Except, he didn’t feel the weight lifting from his shoulders, any semblance of the restoration of balance as the knife was removed and Teal’s blood began to spill out of the wound.
“Shit. Shit. Fuck.”
He could have thrown the stupid dagger across the room. Joon’s mind was frantic, knowing that with how little time Teal had left before blood would…he didn’t want to think about it. The younger boy was already struggling to breathe, both limp and stiff as Joon gathered him in his arms. Joon was trying not to cry, not to scream and shout at his own stupidity. He didn’t want to kill Teal, the pretty boy with the deep voice and soft lips and laugh that made Joon feel alive.
“I’m so sorry,” Joon managed to get out, his voice crackling as he held Teal close to him, smoothing down the boy’s hair as his eye movements became less frantic. Teal had stopped trying to say anything, and for that, at least, Joon was glad: every small hyung or it hurts like another stab into Joon’s heart. “I’ll fix it baby, I’m so sorry.”
The room grew quiet then, and soon enough, Joon was cradling a dead body into his chest that was a few moments away from heaving with cries. As he stared at Teal’s face, his brain raced through every spell he’d ever known and ever heard of: any care for the rules or even the promise of more power were forgotten. Joon needed to bring Teal back, and no God or Devil would stop him.
“Keep your disgusting pet away from me.”
Joon rolled his eyes as Teal was shoved through his doorway, stumbling into the witch’s arms. It may have been a mistake for Teal to be wearing a literal collar to which Joon did have to attach a chain to for a few days. In life, Teal was a bottomless pit when it came to food…in un-life, that hadn’t changed one bit. He wasn’t after flesh and brains as the media would lead you to believe…he was just hungry, all the time, for something. Joon wasn’t sure what.
It wasn’t like Teal was doing any harm in Hell House. He mostly just stared at the open fridge, no expression on his face. Jae said something about it running up the power bill, but Teal truly was doing no harm like Near feared and like Isaac flat out said every time the two were on the same floor of the house at the same time.
Joon resolved to keep Teal away from Isaac, at the least. He didn’t trust Isaac farther than he could throw him. Especially considering how Teal had repeatedly joked since he was revived that he wanted to throw Isaac off the roof, just to see if he could fly. He was lucky that he could kind of trust Cato…maybe their both being some flavor of undead would spark a bond. Just like the time to bring Teal back…it’d take time for everyone to acclimate.
“Do…,” began Teal, drawing away Joon’s attention from his other thoughts. If he could allow himself to brag, he did a damn good job in making Teal look human again. “…I smell bad?”
His voice was as low as ever, in a slow almost drawl compared to how much he talked in life. Joon knew that Teal’s mind returning would be a slow process: he missed being able to talk to him and hear the assuring words with bright smiles. Just seeing Teal smile blankly back at him…wasn’t quite the same.
“No, baby,” Joon replied, circling his thumbs over the apples of Teal’s cheeks. His eyes looked a little more gray than before, and the glow of his skin wasn’t as bright but he was still warm enough. Still the prettiest lost boy. “You smell good enough to eat.”
He felt Teal smile before he saw it, his cheeks lifting under his fingers. Teal’s hands covered his, nuzzling in closer to Joon’s face. It was a light stroke to Joon’s ego that Teal was still affectionate, still seeking out his company. Maybe it was an effect of the ritual used to reanimate Teal: or maybe he didn’t remember when Joon killed him.
Teal’s mind felt fuzzy at the edges, and trying to think too much hurt his head. He knew where he was, but there were a lot of blanks regarding…a lot else. But he knew who Joon was, and that was enough. The witch worked hard to keep him safe and well, Joon made him happy. He made Teal feel warm as he laid him down to check on another mark on his ribcage.
It looked a lot different than the one on his hip. Teal didn’t remember getting it and felt no pain when he tried to touch it. Silly, he’d tease Joon, there’s nothing wrong with it, you just wanted to see me with my shirt off. Or, at least that’s what he wanted to say. The phrase would come out more like Silly, nothing, just my shirt off.
That was probably what Joon’s checking the mark meant, to help him out. Teal didn’t mind one bit. Sometimes, Joon would need to see other things, and he’d be stuck to the confines of the bedroom again. But the times when Joon stayed still with him were the best.
Teal liked to lay his head down on Joon. Usually, it was either on his lap or his chest if Joon needed to lay down for a bit. Both were good: laying on Joon’s lap meant he could get some work done and maybe even have a hand in Teal’s hair.
If Teal had to choose, he always liked laying his head down on Joon’s chest more. He struggled to hear or feel his own heartbeat these days, but he could always sense Joon’s. Usually, it was steady, but sometimes it picked up: he couldn’t ask why, and wasn’t sure if it was because he couldn’t ask, or if there was a part of him that learned to fear any kind of bad answer.
He had plenty of questions, most of which Joon would answer. Near wouldn’t speak to him more than he absolutely had to. Cato…tried, but Teal couldn’t understand a word he said. Jae was alright, he was funny like Joon was sometimes. Teal didn’t like Isaac much, rather, something in him was compelled to push him off the roof.
“Joon?,” asked Teal, eyes peeking up from where his cheek was squished up against the direct middle of Joon’s chest.
“Soon, baby, I promise,” responded Joon, practically lying through his teeth. He’d never brought someone back before, he didn’t know when it’d be safe to let Teal see the world again. Joon did the most to not think about the consequences of the press…Teal wasn’t a nobody off the streets, anyways.
But Joon couldn’t just wave him off, send him back to Lost Boys like this. Not when he was safer in Hell House. Maybe he could pass off as a new Hellboy member. Then they’d be a Witch, a Demon, an Angel, a Vampire, a Putti and…Zombie didn’t have a ring to it. He’d think of something better later.
All he knew was that he had Teal back, and no matter how he tipped the scales, there was no way in hell Joon was about to willingly lose him again.
Teal’s brows knit together, watching Joon come back from the second time he’d spaced out. There was clearly something on the older boy’s mind: it was even more reason for Teal to reach up, squishing his cheeks between his palms until Joon gave any kind of reaction.
Joon blinked before his face settled, eyebrows raising above his compressed features. Teal couldn’t help but giggle, he looked so cute like that.
“Welcome back, Joonie~,” teased Teal, quickly replacing his hands with his lips, peppering Joon’s cheek with quick kisses. He thought about asking more, even prying with a joke of a question, but held back in favor of making sure he covered all the ground Joon’s cheeks had to offer. Teal didn’t want to stress Joon out, he wanted to have a good time, he wanted both of them to feel good.
“You’re here,” Joon murmured quietly. His palm covered the left side of Teal’s ribs, as if he was trying to hold something in, the pressure present but not pressing.
“You’re here,” he breathed again, not giving the younger a chance to question him. Joon kissed him hard, hoping to clear any questions from Teal’s mouth with his tongue. His mouth is still soft and hot, just how it always was and was supposed to be. Not a stab wound in sight. “Thank fucking god.”
Teal laughed, fully, and it was almost tempting for Joon to slap a hand over his mouth. He may have a single room, but he didn’t need more noise giving the members reason to give him the stink eye. His laughter still buzzed on his lips, the mirth spreading to Joon, who’s own mouth twitched into a semblance of a smile when pulled back into another kiss.
Hands worked their way down Joon’s shoulders, down his back until he gasped into Teal’s mouth when the younger grabbed his ass. Either one of them could easily remember the first night at The Octagon Club, the want that didn’t go away so easily, sneaking its way through the pain burrowed so far inside that it all but erupted back up to the surface.
“Joonie, I want you,” Teal said plainly, idly rolling his hips up against Joon’s insistently. He could finally feel how much he wanted again, not just out of desperation for something outside of the hurt, so needing any kind of escape. “I want you so bad.”
There was a lot in which Joon knew he was lacking, and as he was quick to learn, saying no to Teal was one of them. He might have been able to deny the boy one of his daggers, but as far as the night goes…that was as much of a “no” as Joon could get out. He wanted to come over, he wanted to kiss, he wanted to suck Joon off, he couldn’t say no. With Teal’s creased brows and little pout, how could he possibly even think of denying him whatever his little heart wanted?
Joon’s nerves were on fire, fingers clawing into Teal’s shoulders as he lifted his hips to slowly sink down on him again. He felt sticky and warm, cast aglow by the lights of the room, and Teal was too. His hair was falling back from his face, lower lip caught between his teeth, skin flushed with a light sheen of sweat.
“Worth the wait, huh?,” Teal asked, voice caught between speech and a moan. He squeezed Joon’s sides, rubbing down to rest on his hips. While he was sitting up against the head of the bed, Teal was already trying not to melt inside Joon. Even with all the energy buzzing in his veins, he got the inkling that Joon wanted to have some control.
“Fuck, I needed this,” was the reply Joon gave beneath closed eyes. Teal took that as a yes. He leaned forward, teeth scraping on the side of Joon’s neck, chasing each nip with lips and tongue. Joon resumed rocking his hips, each breath perforated by breathy gasps.
Teal didn’t know how much longer he’d last. It was sinful how perfectly tight Joon was around him. He thought that he liked the noises Joon made when Teal had sucked him off not on a public beach, or when he put his fingers to use to prep him…Teal thought that these noises Joon made with Teal inside him were the best yet. Definitely up there among the ranks of what he imagined Joon sounding like when he truly laughed.
He hoped he’d get to hear that, one day.
Joon just about squealed when Teal pulled his knees up, allowing him the leverage to thrust up, meeting Joon each time he sank back down. Teal couldn’t help but to moan in response, fingers pressing hard into Joon’s hips as he helped guide him.
“Fuck– baby – fuck me,” pleaded Joon, fisting the back of Teal’s head, breath hot against his ear as Teal obliged. Joon’s other arm wrapped around Teal’s shoulders, clawing at the skin while Teal fucked up into him at a vigorous pace.
The soundscape of the room filled Teal’s ears: the creaking of the bed beneath the smack of skin on skin, Teal’s lower whines beneath Joon’s soaring cries. Neither of them minded the mess of spit and sweat clashing lips and teeth as they searched for each other, each chasing their own ends.
He was hardly aware of the words that left Joon’s mouth – probably a curse, baby, all cut up by his pretty moans – as the older clenched around Teal, strings of sticky white cum joining the sweat between their bodies. Joon’s thighs trembled on either side of him, and Teal felt his head droop against his as he rode out the second orgasm of the night brought to him by the dancer.
“God– you take me so good,” Teal panted, shamelessly biting at Joon’s jaw, causing another loud whine to grace Teal’s ears. The knot in his stomach tightened, his toes curling on top of the rumpled sheets. He gasped out the ghost of a laugh, thinking about how he came in wanting to make Joon feel good, to help pay him back for saving Teal, and here he was, so close to feeling good, himself.
“I’m so close–”
“Inside, wanna feel you.”
“Fuck, hyung,” he groaned, the snapping of his hips falling out of rhythm. A whine caught in his throat as Joon held his jaw in one hand, studying his face as the time until Teal came ticked down. A lazy sort of smile crept onto Teal’s face, staring into the other boy’s eyes as he came, spilling out inside of Joon with a series of ascending moans and whines that died out into a sigh.
All the tension melted out of Teal’s system, legs falling flat and slouching. He closed his eyes and licked his lips, a dry laugh rattling his chest as Joon all but collapsed on top of him. Joon took his time to catch his breath until he decided to roll himself off of Teal while still draping a good half of his body over him.
“Right?,” Teal answered, mischief alight on his face as he angled himself to nuzzle up to Joon’s face, brushing their lips together. His eyes crinkled at the corners in a smile: he didn’t care if both of them were quite a sloppy sight of tangled sheets and limbs, of body fluids and red marks…but neither of them cared for now.
“Don’t tell me you’re hungry.”
“Good, ‘cause I’m not getting you shit right now.”
“Okay, but what if I was a little hungry?”
“You’d have to get something yourself.”
“Even if I did this?,” asked Teal, jutting out his lower lip and batting his lashes. “Hyung~ Teal’s hungry~”
Joon snorted, pinching the back of Teal’s neck and rolling his eyes.
“Teal didn’t just have a dick up in his guts, he can get something himself.”
The brunette boy giggled, nipping at Joon as he got swatted away. He truly couldn’t help himself from teasing, if not just a little bit. Joon put up a mock huff, pushing the sweaty hair away from Teal’s forehead.
“Watch yourself, baby.”
“Or the big bad witch is gonna get ya,” Joon jested back, flicking Teal in the center of his forehead before kissing him lightly again, a small, but satisfied smile on his face as he wiggled into a more comfortable position. Sleepiness was radiating out from him, and the rumble of Teal’s deep voice as he laughed quietly more was a lullaby in and of itself.
“I’m so scared.”
“If you wake up tied up, it’s on you.”
“I’ll be waiting~”
Teal smiled once more, taking the cue to snuggle right up to Joon and cease the playing around. He’d have plenty of time to rile Joon up in the morning: for now, he felt safe and sound, warm and beloved.
There wasn’t much in the fridge that Teal felt like: it was just one of those nights where he’d wake up from his sleep, not knowing what kind of food he wanted other than that it was nothing available. Teal also felt bad for prying himself out of Joon’s arms at the whims of his stomach.
He turned on his heel, padding back up the stairs to close the door as quietly as he could so as not to wake Joon up. Teal smiled softly, standing at the edge of the bed, at how he could see Joon’s lips parted in sleep, the marks on his neck vaguely visible even in the dark. He looked so peaceful…it should be fine if Teal just sat down on the edge of the bed and watched him, just for a bit.
But he couldn’t sit down. His hips wouldn’t move in that way, as if his feet were glued to the floor. Teal shook his head: he wanted to go sit down, maybe lay down next to Joon, to keep him warm.
He walked towards the side of the bed, and his hand reached for the knife at the side table. It was solid in his hands, the weight of the jewel-encrusted hilt not quite as heavy as the dragon dagger. Teal wondered where that one was.
No no no.
Teal moved to place one knee on the bed, then the other, though he didn’t sit down, he placed one on either side of Joon. He hovered above him, quiet over Joon who was sleeping like a log, worn out from the day. The witch looked so peaceful, like he didn’t have a care in the world.
“Please,” Teal silently begged himself. He felt steady, too steady and he didn’t like it: his hand should be shaking. He shouldn’t even be doing this, for fucks sake. Teal should be lying down next to Joon, snuggling right up to him, nuzzling into his neck before he, too, fell asleep. “Stop.”
Suddenly, he could smell the mountain air in Jeju. Hallasan. The sparse trees on the top of the mountain, the stormy grey clouds that blocked out the sun, a cool wind that cut through his t-shirt. Teal could almost smell the dirt on the altar, granules stuck beneath his fingernails.
He remembered Jonghae’s eyes, shaking until they were blank, dead. Teal remembered the rivers of blood, the nerve endings and mud, the screams crying out for help, for anything other than this. The quiet presence of Joon quietly waiting behind him. You just have to hit him square in the heart, right here.
“It’s not real,” he murmured to himself. It wasn’t real. Joon just took him to Jeju, they went on a hike. They went to the beach, they got black pork. Teal dozed off on Joon’s shoulder on the ferry ride back to the mainland. None of that happened.
He shook his head and he was back in the Hell House, over Joon who had a treasure map on his chest, painted in bites and scratches with an X at the center over where his heart would be. Teal took note of the dagger in his hand, too firm as he raised it.
Stop it, stop it, he thought to himself, eyes watching in horror as his hand flew down, slicing through the air as the blade plunged into Joon’s chest. The witch’s eyes flew open, wide as he saw Teal raise the knife to stab him again, and again, and again.
Teal couldn’t open his mouth, he couldn’t make a noise. He couldn’t do anything as he massacred Joon: Teal heard nothing except the squelch of the knife through flesh, splattering dark blood everywhere. He couldn’t stop, but that was all he wanted to do. He wanted to help Joon, but all he could do was stab him again and again until any sign of life was gone and Teal was alone.
He looked over his shoulder and he was in Bangkok. Teal knew his sister’s voice anywhere, echoing through the family’s foyer. A hopeful smile crossed his lips: whenever they didn’t come to greet him at the door, Tan and Ting must have something to show him.
“Nong Tan? Nong Ting?,” he called, the railing cool as he ascended the staircase where he heard them coming from. Teal remembered how excited they must be, probably that they got to redecorate their rooms since they were both officially teenagers. That had to be what they wanted to show him.
Teal’s blood was ice as he stood in the doorway, he felt like he’d be sick. There were bodies, blood smeared everywhere, four separate treasure maps. It was all over the walls, staining the designer shirt Tan had bought with her own money, off the dress he’d bought Ting for her birthday.
He took a few steps forward but fell to the floor, right between his sisters. Though he wasn’t touching them, Teal could feel that they were both ice cold, unseeing eyes wide.
“No no no no no.”
He scrambled into a sitting position, and then he saw his hands dyed red up to the elbows, and the knife was suddenly in his hand. Teal could see it being buried in his sisters’ chests, carving out their veins as they were helpless. He was supposed to protect them. He was supposed to keep them safe.
“Teal? Are you home?”
“Mae?,” he weakly called, before he wished he didn’t. His hand was firm around the knife, and his body was moving of its own accord again. Teal couldn’t do this, he didn’t want to do it. Not her, too. He’d already taken so much, too much, he couldn’t bear to see it again, couldn’t bear to feel himself do it another time.
Teal gasped, spiraling in the dark until Joon’s face came into focus. He was sitting up in front of Teal, holding his shoulders steady. There was a new layer of cold sweat over Teal’s skin, his heart rattling in his chest. He felt the words spilling out, the blood, his sisters, Joon, moving on his own.
“I can’t understand you, baby,” Joon said softly, moving to hold Teal’s face between his hands. It was then Teal realized that he’d been speaking in Thai without a word of Korean. He sniffled, wiggling his face out of Joon’s grip, immediately putting his hands on Joon’s chest, checking for any sign, any mark that anything happened.
“You’re not hurt?,” croaked Teal. His eyes searched Joon: there was no way he could have been stabbed past death and healed so soon, was there? He couldn’t see any blood staining the sheets or anything else in the room. “You’re okay?”
“I’ll be a lil’ sore in the morning, maybe but–”
Teal interrupted Joon, throwing his arms around him, crying into his neck. He felt a hand on his back, immediately rubbing circles onto the center of his back, his other hand running his fingers through his hair, gently scratching his scalp with each pass through.
“Nightmare, huh,” said Joon, pursing his lips and shushing Teal. He swallowed: he was fairly certain he mentioned that they were part of the consequence of the ritual. Joon had long since learned to turn them off so he could get a good night’s sleep. His shoulders felt heavy with the burden that Teal likely hadn’t slept in days because of his own personal glimpse into Hell.
“They weren’t real, baby. You’re safe here.”
“It felt so real, Joon.”
Teal pulled himself up, watery eyes staring into Joon’s as he sniveled. Every time he blinked, it was like he could see it all again, too vividly for the milliseconds his eyes were closed.
“I know, baby,” assured Joon, cupping Teal’s cheeks. He guided the brunette into laying down, wrapping protective arms around Teal, holding him tight to his chest. “It’ll get easier.”
“Do…you have them too?”
Joon nodded, nudging his forehead against Teal’s. He knew his were probably a whole different color of hellish than Teal had, but…Joon would rather not remember them, and didn’t want to make the boy remember his either. Would it be too much of a lie to just say it took time before he’d be able to sleep normally again?
“I did, they won’t be as bad if you wait, okay?,” he mumbled, pecking Teal on the lips. “It’ll get better. Hyung will help make it better.”
In the dark room, he saw Teal’s lips part, but no words came out. Teal sighed, looking up into Joon’s eyes, almost pleading as he inched his way forward, needy and pressing his lips against Joon’s. Anything to distract himself from the nightmarish sensations creeping back up.
“Joonie,” breathed Teal, breaking apart only to breathe with a sniffle, blinking away the tears that came up.
“I promise, baby.”
Joon brushed a stray tear away from Teal’s cheek before pulling him in closer, licking at the boy’s lower lip to grant him entrance into his mouth once more. If it’s what Teal needed, Joon was happy to help out.
Teal sighed into the kiss, tangling his legs with Joon’s, letting the older boy trap him in closer. Eventually, they broke away to lay there, breathless. All was quiet, and there was a gentle balance, mismatched breathing falling into sync under the cover of the night. He felt both tired and awake, laying there, close to Joon. But there was no warding off the sleep that would come as Joon rubbed perfect circles into his hip.
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