#and I'm trying to say that I almost understand the opposite perspective

[egg-emperor]

Game canon Eggman is pure evil y'all, rest assured to my fellow evil Eggman enjoyers. He's never acted for any reason that wasn't fueled by his evil/selfish intentions. I've carefully analyzed him in all of his scenes for hours and hours for years and years. I don't need to theorize, speculate, or insist on personal interpretations to get to this conclusion because I specifically go by what the games tell and show me undeniably.

I analyze very literally, not abstract or based on how I feel about it, only literally what I can see and hear. I feel this avoids a lot of unnecessary confusion and complication and it can actually be this way and yet still have a lot of depth to it to explore despite this. I don't see appeal in straying too far with the what ifs rather than the literals that are deliberately blatantly presented because the former is when bias can seep in.

But I know some probably think, "If you think I'm biased because I don't like pure evil Eggman so I don't want to see him as such, why aren't you biased for not liking less than pure evil Eggman? What if you're just seeing what you want to see?" But with the way I only go by what's blatantly there to see and hear in the games themselves in bold explicit forms, I feel I avoid any chance of bias.

I don't like to admit this but when I was younger, I had some incorrect interpretations about Eggman. Yes, even me. XD I never thought he was this completely good and caring guy but I definitely didn't have the most accurate understanding of who he was, how he'd act in certain situations, and what he is or isn't likely to say or do. A lot of my own personal biases at the time were to blame.

Years of heavy studying and analysis got me to where I am now. And I realized he said or did the exact opposite in the games to what I thought he'd do or wrote in my silly private fanfics back then. So I started to look at him neutral and unbiased, without expecting or wanting anything specific and letting it influence my perception. Only exactly what I could hear him say and see him do instead.

I rebuilt my understanding into what it is now and ever since, it has stayed completely consistent. Every new piece of media just reaffirms it or gives me new stuff to add that tracks and doesn't contradict the old in the slightest. I'm still having new revelations, discoveries and eyes opened to new things about him but they only further prove, develop, and strengthen my understanding now.

This was all done by me just shutting off these biased parts of my mind and letting the game canon show me who he was, not by my own personal desires and influences. Then I realized I was such a big fan of what I understood him to be, all of my desires turned into loving game canon Eggman for exactly who he was and wanting him to stay the funny pure evil bastard he is. And he does! 💜

But yeah because of that, even though my old perception years ago certainly wasn't the same level as those that spread misinformation of him being way nicer, softer, and morally good than he is in the games, I know what it's like for bias to influence me in some ways. And those little things I believed then are far different from what I know now, so this isn't an example of me being biased lol

I'm very happy that I came to fully recognize, embrace, and appreciate his funny but very much pure evil self! And one of the main goals of my blog besides expressing my passion, is to help people learn more about him and understand him too because I swear, your enjoyment and appreciation of him can grow so much stronger when you do. I love when I'm told I've helped with that!

But if you really don't like that he's pure evil because it makes you uncomfortable, that's fine. But there's a difference between not wanting to see it because you don't like it and what happens in the games. And if you don't like game canon Eggman like that, I have a lot of respect for you if you admit that and just do something different in your fan stuff, without claiming it to be fact.

But game canon Eggman canonically being a funny silly but very evil and threatening bastard man personally fills me with immense joy and it's why I adore him so much. It's endless fun and entertainment! 🥰💜

#hope people don't take this the wrong way as telling people what to do. tried to make that clear at the end #and I'm trying to say that I almost understand the opposite perspective #just speaking my mind honestly as usual #dr eggman #eggman #dr robotnik #dr. eggman #sonic the hedgehog #my post #eggman is evil

[hausofneptune]

songs that give the same energy as these aspects/placements [3]

[astro notes no. 009]

hey! i'm back with part three of this series bc i'm having far too much fun with these posts (click here for part one and part two). as a pisces sun/mercury i'm trying to use more upbeat songs and less of the "sad and yearning" ass songs i always listen to, as always keep in mind that the energy for these aspects/placements manifests differently for everyone. if y'all have any input, or music recommendations, feel free to let me know! ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ༄.

disclaimers | masterlist | ask

18+, mdni

 ༊*·˚ ˗ aquarius in big 6 | uranus / saturn aspecting ascendant / sun | uranus / saturn in the 1H: alien superstar — beyoncé

mastermind in haute couture label whores can't clock, i'm so obscure masterpiece, genius, drip intravenous patty cake on that wrist tiffany blue billboards over that ceiling we don't like plain, always dreamed of paper planes mile-high when i rodeo then i come down and take off again

(alien superstar is literally the theme song for aquarians, uranians, and saturnians. i don't make the rules.) people with these placements typically grow up feeling ostracized by others and find it difficult to fit in with their peers, almost as though they’re “from another planet” in a sense, as their worldview completely contrasts with the perspectives of those around them. there’s usually something about them categorizes them as “different”, or even weird or eccentric in some cases. in the end, though, the things that make these natives “outcasts” are ultimately their greatest assets. i feel like people can conflate the restrictive nature of saturn so much so to the point where we forget that saturn is the ruler of time.

hence why over time saturnian people become experts in the areas of their life and personality that the planet is affecting. specifically, people with saturn aspecting the ascendant or sun, or with saturn in their 1H, typically struggle with self expression and their identity. they can also struggle in terms of feeling like the weight of the world is on their shoulders, due to being perceived as responsible and accountable for everything and everyone around them. fortunately, with age (and self-realization) that weight forges them into individuals who’s originality and self-assurance is something that’s admired, and potentially envied, by those around them. overall, these natives are pioneers within their fields, and more often than not the ones to set trends instead of following them.

 ༊*·˚ ˗ moon in the 12H (synastry): dreams — baby storme

they ask me "where have you been?" and i wanna say but they won't understand that i've been in my dreams i lay here all alone and watch the time go on i see you in my dreams and that's enough for me

12H synastry tends to be spiritual in nature. because the 12H houses the needs and desires that lay in our subconscious, when someone’s moon falls there it can often result in a connection that feels very “dreamy” in a sense, and can quite literally manifest as them showing up in your dreams. this can be especially impactful if you’re someone who has vivid, lucid dreams, as it can result in being able to visit the person you have this connection with in the astral realm, or vice versa. while this can be a very deep, soulful connection, it can also manifest as having an emotional connection with someone that feels too elusive at times.

if one or both people in this connection aren’t evolved enough in a spiritual sense to handle moon in the 12H synastry, it can definitely lead to feeling as though one or both people hide their feelings from the other, resulting in feelings of deceit or betrayal between the two. i feel like 12H synastry is very beautiful and deep when both parties can handle it (similar to 8H synastry), but it can be very difficult to energetically cut ties with someone that you have this synastry with.

༊*·˚ ˗ venus square / opposite mars (synastry / natal): modennaminute — smino ft. lucky daye, phoelix

i just bought you new cartiers now you crying in it and now it's hard to walk away 'cause we blind in it don't know when to quit, my love never should’ve crossed that line you said i’m the shit, my love then tell me i ain't shit, my love

in synastry, venus square or opposite mars can indicate both deep desire and attraction, as well as a love/hate relationship between the two natives. the square/opposition between these two planets can definitely ignite a passionate, sexual nature in this relationship, and can potentially influence one or both people (typically the mars person) to behave in possessive or jealous ways at times. specifically with the opposition, there can be a tug of war in terms of energy, and while having this aspect alone in a synastry chart isn't the end all be all (the entire chart, alongside the individual charts, must be considered), it has the potential to manifest as an on-again-off-again relationship.

with the square, there's more of a conflict in timing/tastes. while mars may be more aggressive or rough in their approach, it may turn venus off, as venus may want something more sensual and romantic. both parties typically have to sacrifice in some way shape or form and adapt to their partner's wants and needs for the relationship to work. in the natal chart, the square / opposition is indicative of someone who may struggle in love due to an inner conflict between their feminine/nocturnal and masculine/diurnal energies. these natives typically find it difficult to exist in relationships without turmoil, and may have to work towards balancing both the venus and mars energy they house within themselves.

༊*·˚ ˗ saturn / neptune / chiron in the 11H: friends that break your heart — james blake

and they tell you "just you wait it kills you, and only love can break you more the more you care and all, and all in love is fair" but it's not fair i have haunted many photographs in the background, in the fore and as many loves that have crossed my path in the end, it was friends it was friends who broke my heart

these placements are indicative of strife or struggle found in one’s ability to form and maintain connections to those around them. these natives usually have to put more effort in facilitating productive and healthy interpersonal relationships, and often feel a sense of "lack" in this area of their lives. those with neptune in the 11H specifically could find themselves in friendships where they feel blindsided or betrayed, or they may behave in ways that their friends perceive as being sneaky or deceptive. with chiron in the 11H, there can be negative experiences surrounding friendships or failed connections. saturn in the 11H can indicate feeling "rejected" or invisible in group settings, especially in youth.

these placements (specifically saturn) may also indicate social anxiousness and a tendency towards being more withdrawn. others may mischaracterize them as being rude or "too aloof", when in reality, these natives genuinely want to connect with others, but feel like they encounter obstacle after obstacle upon trying to do so. despite their challenges, these placements can end up being beneficial in the long run, as they can gift the native with the ability to empower their communities. they can be drawn towards careers where being able to connect with others, regardless of differences, is prioritized (i.e. politics, social work, community organizing, etc). the 11H is also the house of hopes and dreams, therefore someone with the more "progressed" side of these placements will typically feel that their soul's path is deeply ingrained in being able to help, protect, and provide for their loved ones, their community, and the collective at large.

༊*·˚ ˗ ruler of the 7H in 4H / 6H | venus / juno in the 10H: feathers and wax — vicktor taiwò

i'll help you grow we rise in feathers and wax, child don't stray too far we rise in feathers and wax, child i'll help you grow wings that won't burn in the hot sun can't watch you go we rise in feathers and wax, child

people with these placements are typically the types of lovers who seek partners who are reliable enough to build a stable foundation with, and are most drawn to relationships where they're able to build their partner up, and feel that effort reciprocated by their loved one as well. with the ruler of the 7H in the 4H, one's domestic life, family, and lineage is innately integrated into how they navigate partnerships. these natives tend to seek out a partner they feel safe enough to depend on, and may view building a family and a secure home as a high priority. with the ruler of the 7H in the 6H, there's a similar sense of wanting to build with one another, but less in regards to building a home/family and more so in regards to aiding one another in day-to-day responsibilities. these are usually the types who enjoy going to the gym with their partner, running errands with them, and are overall very keen on giving and receiving acts of service. they could also meet their spouse at work or want to work with them in terms of collaboration.

generally, venus in the 10H can manifest as being highly regarded in terms of one's profession, as well as being perceived in a positive light by one's peers. in regards to relationships, venus in the 10H can point to being drawn towards a partner that benefits your own reputation in someway shape or form. as a couple, they may receive a significant amount of attention from others, as the 10H rules the public. alongside juno in the 10H, these natives may meet their spouse in a professional setting, and could even end up working together and becoming business partners later on down the line. there's often a feeling of wanting to be both prosperous in one's own right, alongside wanting a partner that is just as successful and committed to building a life that is balanced, or is at least perceived that way by others.

༊*·˚ ˗ venus in taurus, leo, or libra | venus sextile / trine / conjunct jupiter: angels in tibet — amaarae

fountain baby, wash her, make it wet diamonds hit the sweat tattoo on her chest i like when my remedies connect that pussy and a bed like angels in tibet louvre and armani, i like how you say it feeding me body, i like how you cater i took a trip to the stylist today i spend the bitch like i'm spending the paper, stop

those with venus in taurus, leo, or libra are typically extremely dedicated and loyal to their loved ones. these placements could also make for someone who is deeply enamored by grandiose, material gestures, not necessarily in a materialistic sense (although it can manifest that way), but more so in the sense of wanting to pampered and taken care of by their suitor/partner. venus in taurus / libra can influence the need for interpersonal balance, as well as a craving for a "physical harmony" (especially with taurus). these natives tend to have very high expectations, and find thrill in being "courted" by their love interests, they tend to enjoy giving and receiving gifts as well.

those with venus harmoniously aspecting jupiter in their chart tend to be very lighthearted, creative individuals, and are very generous in love. they enjoy dramatic, flamboyant gestures of love, as well as gift-giving and recieving. they genuinely enjoy seeing their partner happy above all else, and seek reciprocation of that fulfillment in return. with the conjunction here, there can be a learning-curve in regards to knowing when to reign jupiter's "excessive" nature in, but those with the trine / sextile typically know how to show their love (and want to be loved) in a way that doesn't go overboard.

༊*·˚ ˗ venus in gemini / aquarius | uranus in the 5H / 7H: too sweet — hozier

don't you just wanna wake up dark as a lake smellin' like a bonfire lost in a haze? if you're drunk on life, babe i think it's great but while in this world i think i'll take my whiskey neat my coffee black and my bed at three you're too sweet for me

the chokehold this song has had me in ever since it dropped? insane. these placements (and this song) are very reminiscent of running away from a love that lacks spontaneity. natives with these placements tend to need a level of excitability in relationships, those with venus in gemini / aquarius specifically are innately drawn towards people who mentally stimulate them or that they have to “figure out” in a sense. these placements are easily prone to disengage and become bored with a relationship once the “chase” phase is over. these venus placements (the gemini venus girlies specifically) tend to get mischaracterized as people who can’t sustain romantic relationships, and in my opinion it’s more so that these placements inherently need connection in more of a “cerebral” way, rather than in a stereotypical, lovey-dovey kind of way. the idea of love for these natives can be very unconventional in nature, and they crave a connection that is ever-changing and exciting to them.

with uranus in the 5H / 7H, one’s approach to romance and partnership can be atypical. natives with these placements tend to be deeply passionate and expressive in love, and could even be the types to view their partners as their muse. they also tend to be drawn towards relationships that don’t impose upon their sense of independence. natives with these placements, including the venus ones, could remain single or even prefer being single over being in a relationship, as these placements all share the common trait of needing their freedom and not liking to feel restricted. being able to experience life and express their individuality is a priority for them, and it can be of greater importance to them than finding love at times.

divider by plutism

#astrology #astro notes #astrology observations #astrology notes #synastry notes #astro observations #birth chart observations #astrology aspects #aquarius placements #saturn astrology #uranus astrology #12h synastry #venus mars aspects #venus mars synastry #11th house #11th house astrology #venus placements #Spotify

[poorlittleyaoyao]

Imo the problem with novel wwx is the lack of self awareness and reflection. The FEW times he understands where things went wrong and where he fucked up, he... doesn't think??? (ex. He knows at the ancestral hall he was being unfair to jc, but he doesn't say nothing nor ask lwj or wn to stop to attack jc in front of his ancestors; or at the burial mounds 2.0 when people say :you have killed my mom, etc... He shuts up.) I think I understand, because how can you handle some traumas? But, it almost seems like... He doesn't have regrets. Mdzs isn't about redemption or someone confronting his past (jzx never gets an apology, wwx isn't the one to reveal the core's transfer to jc...). wwx goes from taking so much agency to refuse to have agency (he doesn't try to fix the demonic cultivation shit!). Mdzs it's a BL and I find it unsatisfying with all these interesting characters. Obv that's me, just the other day I've seen someone under a jc's post 'oh, this way I find jc a bit sympathetic. I can't get over how he abandoned wwx. lwj did it too, but then he was sorry. jc is still bad for me'. I suppose a lot of people find mdzs satisfying if they are there ONLY for wwx.

I haven't read any other danmei (which is why I should issue an obligatory disclaimer that THESE ARE JUST MY OWN REACTIONS, NOT LEGIT ANALYSIS because I don't know the genre and am aware that I'm not the target audience here), so I am curious to know how it compares within the genre. I don't see Jiang Cheng-style discourse about anyone in SVSSS or TGCF, which makes me wonder if the number of conflicting sympathetic perspectives in MDZS is unusual. (Though it's also possible that it's out there and simply hasn't breached my dash.)

I think Novel WWX and Drama WWX are in opposite quadrants of some sort of Venn diagram where the Y-axis goes from "did everything wrong" to "did nothing wrong" and the X-axis goes from "regrets everything" to "regrets nothing." Drama WWX cares deeply about the people around him and feels remorse for his actions, but CQL painstakingly rearranges plot points so nothing is every actually WWX's fault. Meanwhile, Novel WWX has done many atrocities and is largely like ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ about everything.

#please! I just want a man who did crimes and owns that he did the crimes and is impacted by the fact that he did them! #...oh my god is that. is that one of the reasons I like JGY. #he very much did the crimes and for all he swears up and down that he had no choice he is at least SOMETIMES messed up about it

[biisexualemma]

ifs and buts. rafe cameron (pt.4)

word count: 2.6k

warnings: mention of alcohol

requested: kinda

plot: you're trying to figure out what's going between you and rafe

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 5 / part 6

your eyebrows furrowed, your loose gaze dragging over to where you felt a hand gently shaking your shoulder. your eyes refocused to see kie sitting next to you, her knees tucked up to her chest and her hand dropping from your shoulder. your eyes were a little wide now when they moved to sarah opposite you, both girls watching you carefully.

"you're in your head tonight," sarah observed. you both sat with legs outstretched and intertwined with each others, her foot nudged your thigh. "you ok?"

you slouched forward a little, letting out a deep sigh you hadn't realised you'd been holding in. you grabbed onto her leg and giving it a soft squeeze. "i'm good," you reassured them both, though they didn't look too convinced.

you couldn't help feeling distracted, and you weren't very good at hiding it clearly. you hated admitting it, even if it was only to yourself, but rafe had been stuck in the back of your mind for days. you hadn't seen or heard from him since the incident at the club a few days ago, and all you could do was replay it in your head. were you too harsh? he was trying to help— he did help you out, but this was rafe cameron. he didn't help anyone but himself. so why did he help you? on multiple occasions.

you wanted to get all of this off your chest, to stop the questions running around in your mind and get some perspective but you couldn't with either of them. you already knew how they felt about him, especially sarah, they would immediately think the worst. you couldn't blame them, a few days ago you would've done the same thing. 

"how 'bout you guys?" you gave them a soft smile from behind the nearly-empty beer can in your hand. "i feel like i never see you anymore."

kie narrowed her eyes at you, she wasn't letting you off that easy. "don't change the subject," she never was one to let something go until it was settled. "c'mon, since when do you keep secrets?"

you rolled your eyes teasingly, a nervous laugh leaving your lips. "i don't! who said i was keeping secrets?" you were too defensive, you realised as soon as you said it.

"is it your dad? has he been away again--"

"no," you cut sarah off quickly, shaking your head. they were both looking at you with intensity, waiting for you to crack. they knew you well, and what you were was a bad liar. "guys, i'm serious, i'm fine—" kie gave you a stern look and you stopped, letting out a huff.

"it's just-- something that's been bugging me."

kie tilted her head to the side from where her chin rested on her knees, her eyes softened as she tried to understand. sarah, however, lit up with a gasp, "is it a boy thing?"

you involuntarily winced, and if she hadn't caught you before, she had now. her mouth slowly stretched into a smile, and kie quickly straightened herself out. "shit, you gotta' tell us now."

"it's not a boy thing," you tried to clarify, but it wasn't enough it would seem because they both gave you a quizzical lift of their brows almost in unison, causing you to laugh a little and roll your eyes. "i mean, he's a boy but there's no thing. at least not right now."

"explain," was all kie said, tucking her chin back into her knees, ready to listen intently.

you let out a small huff. you could tell them the gist of the situation without telling them who it involves, right?

you let out a soft groan before beginning. "it's just confusing," you explained, a little uncomfortably, knowing what they'd say if they knew who you were talking about. "i don't know what he wants from me."

sarah hummed, nodding her head as kie spoke, "boys are like that."

"john b was hopeless at the start— seriously, it wasn't until i spelled it out for him that he actually made a move," she smiled as she said it, clearly fond of the memory that was appearing in her head right at that moment. you just hummed, leaning back and propping yourself up with your arms. you head rolled back, eyes falling on the dark night sky above you, slipping back into your thoughts.

"yeah, pope wasn't much better, honestly," kie shrugged from her curled up little ball. "boys are kind of hopeless."

this wasn't at all helping your situation. if only you could tell them everything. you were beginning to feel kind of rotten, keeping it from them like this. you weren't a comfortable liar or secret keeper, it just wasn't in your nature. but until you figured out exactly was going on with rafe and what he was getting out of it, you knew it was best to keep it to yourself. you didn't want everyone getting involved when it could turn out to be absolutely nothing.

"maybe he just doesn't know where he stands with you," sarah suggested. your eyes were tired as they focused back on her again. "you could just confront him, and go from there."

you mulled it over quietly for a moment, "maybe," you were already spacing out again as you replied. 

you sat in silence for a while, thinking about all your options. you were pretty sure sarah and kie carried on the conversation but you were way back in your head by then. you had to speak to rafe, and the sooner the better. you needed to know what he was thinking, planning. was this a game to him? did he see you as a prize to win over? maybe, or maybe he really meant what he said and he was just looking out for you. so did that mean this was all purely platonic? or did he do it because he cared? every thought and possibility swam around in your head, it was making you dizzy and tired.

until you felt an arm wrap around your shoulders, pulling you into their side. again, pulled out of your head with your eyes half glassed over, you saw jj at your side. "what's with the sad faces? get drinking!" you couldn't help but crack a smile as he shook you back and forth and handed you another beer. this was going to be a long night for all of you.

—

"you'll get your ass beat if you walk over into this house," you shooed john b away from the both of you, frowning as he persisted. you had sarah propped up next to you, her arm over your shoulder as you walked up to her house. she'd had a little too much to drink after jj had ploughed everyone with more beer and she was now insisting she'd forgotten how to walk. john b naturally wanted to make sure she got to bed safe, but you weren't having it. "get your ass back in that twinkie," you demanded, pushing him away this time and thankfully he begrudgingly listened, making his way back to the van where the rest of the pogues were waiting to take you home.

"john b's sooo cute," she mumbled in a drunken haze. it amazed you how in a matter of hours she'd managed to get herself into such a state. "don't you think?" you couldn't help but smile, she was in love even when she was off her face, it was pretty sweet. you just wished she could be in love and walk straight at the same time. "actually, don't answer that."

"woah," you panicked a little when she stumbled crossing over the doorframe and into the foyer, barely keeping her upright. you only hoped her dad was fast asleep, because he was absolutely the last person who needed to see this right now. "careful."

"you be careful," she fired back, feigning a frown but couldn't help herself from giggling. she was a happy drunk, which was nice, but also meant she was loud and didn't know when to shut up. "you wanna hear how smart i am?" she halted as you reached the bottom of the stairs, her whole body swivelling to face you, practically nose to nose as she swayed. you knew the route to her bedroom well, you just needed sarah to cooperate. 

you hushed her, trying not to laugh as she began to sing her abc's. "sarah-- sarah please," you shrugged her upwards as she began to slide down, her head falling onto your shoulder. "just help me with the stairs a little-- i'm begging--"

"what the hell--" your eyes darted up and up and up, head craned back in panic that you'd been caught by wade. but you weren't that lucky. rafe stood on the floor above you two, his head poked over the railing, eyebrows furrowed tightly. he was irritated, you could tell even from this far away. "--are you doing?"

"rafe," you spoke in a panicked whisper, desperation struck across your face because you didn't know how to handle this situation at all.

"rafe? where?" sarah's head shot up from your shoulder, her eyes darting all around her but never towards where rafe was actually moving across the landing and to the top of the stairs. "y/n, hide quick!" 

she grabbed your shoulders and in one swift movement she was cowering behind your back, very obviously still in plain sight. you huffed, wrapping your arms around where she wobbled behind you, trying to keep her upright. 

"please, help me get her to bed," you begged, a slight whine to your voice as he made his way down the stairs in a huff. you noticed he was wearing sweats and a t-shirt as he grew closer making you think you'd woken him up. this was confirmed when he reached the two of you at the base of the stairs and saw his hair strewn about and his slightly squinted eyes.

he let out an exasperated sigh as he looked over at his little sister who had been hiding behind you, but was now half asleep as she lay against your back. "you are so lucky dad is out of town tonight," he spoke to his sister before he began moving her away from you carefully. he wrapped an arm around her waist, throwing one arm over his shoulder, before instructing you to grab the other side, which you did. "how did you even end up like this?" he grunted softly as held up most of her weight, while you were keeping her somewhat steady.

"well--" you began to speak for her because it seemed she was half asleep at this point and wasn't really registering anything anyone was saying.

"actually, let me guess," he cut you off, taking off on a bit of a rant as he struggled up the last few steps before taking a breather once he reached the top. he looked passed his sister and over you, where you stood looking guilty as sin. "john b was involved."

that seemed to perk her up, "where?" she mumbled, lifting her head up to look for him even though her eyes were closed. "john b-- john b--" she raised her voice to a shout the second time and rafe immediately clamped his hand over his sisters mouth.

"shut up. you're gonna' wake up wheezie," he said in a harsh whisper. having had quite enough of all of this, rafe dragged his sister down the hall to her room with you trailing along side them both trying to keep up. 

"aw wheeze, i wanna give her a squeeze," her voice growing quieter, her eyelids heavy. "pleeease?" her voice trailed off before her eyes shut completely and the two of you were now carrying dead weight.

rafe took her whole weight from you, leaving you in the doorway as he hauled her over to her bed, before dropping her with a thud onto the mattress. he let out a few deep breaths before grabbing her legs and repositioning her, throwing a cover over her as she let out a quiet snores.

"as if it was even possible, you're even more annoying when you're drunk," he mumbled under his breath as he turned away from his younger sister, his eyes rolling to the side. he'd almost forgotten you were there until he saw you standing still in the doorway looking pretty guilty.

"i'm so sorry," you quickly apologised after he ushered you out of the room and closed the door, leaving him standing over you in the hallway. "i didn't even realise she'd drank that much until it was too late."

he shook his head dismissively, "dad's not home so she won't get in trouble," he sighed, running a hand over his face, rubbing his tired eyes for a second. you felt really bad for waking him up like this, but you were also kind of glad because you were sure you probably would've ended up leaving sarah to sleep on the staircase otherwise. "but what's new with that," he mumbled that last part under his breath.

you didn't know what to say, you stood quietly, thumb in your mouth as you chewed your nail, feeling a little bit embarrassed and a tad bit tipsy. your eyes lifted upwards when you felt his hands land either side of you on your shoulders, you hadn't realised you begun to sway a little. he ducked his head a little to get a good look at you. "do i need to put you to bed too?" his squinted his eyes a little, he was teasing you.

you shook your head, unable to move your eyes away from his blue ones. you wondered how they could still look so blue when it was pretty dark in this hallway. his hands moved to either arm, giving them a gentle squeeze, his eyes examining you thoroughly. he just hummed before letting go of you.

you let out a breath you hadn't known you'd been holding in.

"were you sleeping?" he shrugged off your question but your eyebrows still knitted together with guilt. "i really am sorry, i tried to get her to be quiet but she's so much heavier and louder than she looks."

he shook his head dismissively again, "my sister isn't known for doing as she's told," he meant it teasingly but you couldn't help but chew down on your bottom lip. you were nervous and bursting with a million questions for him, but now didn't feel like the right time. especially since there were three teenage boys waiting for your return just outside.

"ok, well, i'm gonna go," you said after a minute of silence between the two of you. 

"how are you getting home?" he asked, eyes watching you carefully.

"the boys are outside waiting," you answered.

"i don't love the sound of that," he muttered. he glanced away from you for a second, his jaw tightened slightly. he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants, his frame still towering over you. what did he mean? you had to know, you were dying to know.

"they're just friends," you don't know why you clarify but you do. you don't know why you don't just leave without saying anything else. there's no real, solid reason for you to continue standing here, waiting.

he was quiet again before speaking. "you can crash here if you want."

"i don't think that's a good idea," you answered almost immediately.

"why's that?" he had such an eerie calmness about him.

"they're waiting for me," you repeat.

"so?" he raised an eyebrow, shrugging his shoulders. he saw the uncertainty on your face, eyes not knowing where to look, but they wouldn't look at him again. "tell 'em you're crashing with sarah."

"why should i?" you wanted him to give you something, a hint of anything.

"why not?" you cringed as he said it, you shook your head.

"no... thanks," you mumbled, taking a step away from him. maybe it had all been in your head. rafe seemed to be oblivious to you in any other way than as his sisters friend. and that was ok with you, you just had to let go of the idea you had in your head that he was doing this because he might actually foster feelings for you.

taglist:

@lail1010

@julielightwood

@dudenhaaa27

@lilmaybank

@mad-die45

@mk15x

#rafe cameron #rafe x oc #rafe x reader #rafe fic #rafe imagine #rafe angst #rafe outer banks #obx rafe cameron #rafe obx #outerbanks rafe #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron obx #outerbanks #rafe fanfiction #outerbanks fic #outer banks fluff #outer banks fic #outer banks x reader #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks #obx #obx 3 #outer banks 3 #rafe cameron outer banks #rafe cameron angst #rafe cameron one shot #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron series

[laylawatermelon]

The K-Drama Of It All

Hello! My hyper fixation has (very unhealthily) latched onto this show so I'm gonna be analyzing.

First of all, I am a veteran in these spaces.

Very shy in real life I am an avid observer in all my fandoms but TRUST I know what's up at all times because of it.

This first analysis will be of the phenomenon of how they playing in my face with the classic K-Drama tropes and cinematic choices.

Let us begin.

Now we all agree that The Bear is a cinematic masterpiece right? Right.

I have been consuming media across all mediums since I was a kid.

I quite literally spent most of my life watching behind the scenes, in front of the scenes, and in between the scenes.

I'm also an aspiring filmmaker and screenwriter. As such I analyze stuff I like more.

I try to understand why they are the way they are.

Now that we got all the fluff out of the way let's get down to the nitty gritty.

*stands on soapbox*

Page 1 of 10000 ehem

In this this essay I will -!

Fr tho. Let's look at this from a K-Drama perspective.

I've spent about 10-12/13 years watching them. And luckily got into it during the golden era.

I literally watched She Was Pretty air (among others). Ex, Strong Woman, Descendants of the Sun (never watched; controversy+ bad attention span), School 2013.

So you know I'm (somewhat) of an og.

I'm those shows it's very formulaic.

This can extend to other Asian dramas but I'm going to try to stick to K-Dramas.

For example, the 10 ep rule. Must have a kiss or kiss in that episode. (Before is fine)

Now they're getting a little willy nilly and getting down in the first EP but I can argue they was down bad back then as well. Just more angsty longing looks.

(which tbf Sydcarm does all the time but it's 99% Carm though)

In KDramas there's something common in the cinematography that I'd call the halo of light. Almost all the time there are some form of beauty shots with them beautifully lit where they're together, the way they look at each other etc.

Which ironically they do with these two a lot on the show.

I know the show is gorgeous but you can't just explain away some of the choices.

I have watched and read a lot of discussions so this will be influenced by a lot of people. I will mention when I got the help from (if i can find it).

Now I just want to say I think this.

These following trope have been here since the dawn of K-Drama time.

Enjoy my infodump.

Firstly let's discuss this here:

1. The Meet Cute/Halo Effect

We've all been screaming to the void about the classic meet cute that happens with Carmy's life and him being constantly bombarded with noise and chaos.

Stylistically this wouldn't be a typical formula for K-Dramas as it leans more into Kmovie style (which valid The Bear was originally a movie) I think it's as textbook as it comes.

Now the original script (which I have read) had a story of different tone. Very Chicago and chaotic but still...

In this iteration of the script idk what the actors were on but JAW looked at the script and chemistry test and was like hmm yes.

A dramatic romcom. I see.

For her she's an ambitious woman who has (maybe a tiny crush) admiration for him cause like he's literally who she wants to be.

Young, talented and successful. He's made a name in their industry so of course she wants to work under him.

But he he's playing the male lead in an early K-Drama with the classic *she enters* and it's like the second coming out Christ being lit from behind her.

The classic 'I can't believe I never noticed how beautiful she is' in all dramas (and romcoms honestly).

You can also compare it to the corny slightly funny moments in slow motion when they miss each other/do the angsty look.

Like this.

Good old kdrama tropes.

What's interesting is that in their scene they do the opposite of what a K-Drama would usually do. They cut the music and let it become calm.

You get to breathe and relax and so does he. He feels at peace.

In K-Dramas, osts are a kind of a life line so they would most likely blare it when he has that realization.

And then at every other romantic moment after.

Another way that it could be is by using very like calm music (still the ost but still).

They do use this with having mostly romantic music in their scenes but it's usually quiet and a bit hard to hear or understand (unless you're analyzing like many of the wonderful people on this app).

Now you can argue her warm lighting in each scene from the finale and introduction represents his hope/life/good change being given back to him in the form of her (but if that's not the most romantic thing I ever heard).

Now for the flashback in the panic attack scene you could argue the blue tone he sees her in, as it usually represents some kind of sadness/distance/professionalism in this show, it can also represent his piercing blue eyes remembering her in the only shade they know how.

Good God that color grading is nuts. His eyes *ARE* the color Blue.

Now I want to talk a bit more about shot composition, color grading and color choices.

In a few interviews I've seen and read the editors, directors and others were quite serious about the shots and music they used were very much on purpose.

I mean come on.

Also Announcement from a novel/screenwriter:

EHEM

WE DON'T EVER INCLUDE NOTHING THAT CAN BE MISINTERPRETED IN SCRIPTS!

AND THE DIRECTOR WOULD DEFINITELY CUT IT IF IT WASN'T HOW HE ENVISIONED IT!

(/hj)

The most telling scenes is the beginning of omlette and the end of the episode before it.

The director had chose to show her tattoo that represents loss in a deep blue lighting which was actually in a similar lighting that Carmy and Claire were bathed in afterwards.

The quora search says it means pain, heartbreak, and emotional turmoil.

It also lines up with the rest of the shots with him preparing dinner with Claire and her being alone.

I believe this kind of represents the emotional cheating (?) going on between them as he practically abandoned her (and their child, The Bear).

(which is a wild choice for platonic coworkers)

As I've said before blue lighting is usually representative of sadness, coldness etc.

In the scene personally even without connecting it to shipping or everything the message came clear to me.

Suffocation.

He was quite literally being suffocated as in the last scene her body was on his as he stared in the distance blankly.

Honestly that shot was kind of heartbreaking because it feels like coercion in a warped way.

He feels like he should be happy, he should participate in these acts, he should be doing well.

He's fulfilling his family's wish.

So why isn't he happy?

That's my writer kicking in but that's what I got from it.

🥲 (gimme a sec i gotta cry)

But the same blue tone was used in his panic attack as the camera zoomed in.

Now the ironic part was that they used warm lighting for the scenes with Claire, but it's not that unusual.

Warm lighting has always been used to also represent a time period in the past in addition to good/warm times.

What's ironic is what's literally colored in what should represent good times isn't working.

He's remembering his family in those same tones. The past isn't helping.

But the future does.

Enter Sydney in blue.

Now blue usually represents sadness (or calm) but it's also used in futuristic scenes.

*They benefit from the cold clinical look i guess🤷🏾‍♀️*

Then he becomes calm.

I can also say that their kitchen scenes in early season 2 are blue coded but it has a calm feeling not a distant feeling. It ironically feel warm and calming despite the cool tone.

This appears in a couple other scenes in the show when he's showing her the work done in the early season.

But color wise it's usually warm tones with them as the color kind of transitions in that scene. It's half half.

His view is warm because he thinks she's good with what he did and hers is cold because he ditched her so yeah.

Now shot wise let's discuss because it's a bit obvious.

The staff head mentioned loving close ups to show the characters emotion but also to convey a sense of what's not being said.

An example of his uncertainty with Claire is the car scene. In most of his shots it's extremely close to her and gives off an awkward vibe.

But when you go to her perspective, she's more open and his shots show background and more of his character, also reflecting their relationship with each other,

This persists with the kitchen scene as well.

When I rewatch it it has that same quality. It's a bit more pulled out (obviously as they literally spent the night together so anyone would feel closer) but there's still an awkward/dreamlike feel like when its on her like she's not quite based in reality.

Or in Carmy's self sabotaging view, too good to be true.

In comparison to Sydney, the shots with her are almost always wide and open.

We see it with them as early in season one with the outside scene where he's staring her down and gets her to open up.

You can argue that almost all of their shots are as equals, or in the same frame with an openness that have/represents when they're communicating with each other. (I'm def writing about their communication)

Sydney's character is ironically what a male lead would be like and Carmy would be more of the female archetype.

Which I really appreciate now that I think about it.

The male lead is usually very successful/good at what they do, hesitant to share but when they do you feel it and know it's sincere. They're usually more bumbly with expressing when they're emotional but when they do its like a huge release. And when they love it's very obvious and excessive at times.

In comparison, Carmy is very expressive, sensitive and aware. He's devoted (Claire sorry but you don't quite count) to things he's passionate about, willing to communicate and has traits of sensitivity.

His eyes and body tells what he's feeling almost immediately. (Also JAW is just an incredible actor)

In Kdrama land their roles would be switched. Hell I can argue some American dramas as well.

Back on topic though.

The Halo Effect is there. Like all the time.

To my next point-

2. The She Looks Away, I Look At Her

Now you may argue this is very Disney Rapunzel, all that coded.

You will also be correct.

I am a Disney (more Nick honestly) kid.

This too applies to the K-Drama world nay I would say it originated there (it did not).

Do you know how many shows I can name where the male lead is just hopelessly in awe as he stared at the female lead because she just insulted him and he wants to tell her he loves her in every way.

Ring ring.

I heard The Bear calling. Yeah imma need you to clock out on this gaslighting.

time to fangirl

Look at the gif sets!

But honestly, it's a common way to show that the character cares and wants a person without outright saying it.

You understand the vibes almost instantly.

He likes her. He wants more.

She likes him. She wants more.

3. Matching Clothes

This one is a simple one but we all know how common it is in K-Dramas to have a matching something.

A good example of a recent show is Extraordinary Attorney Woo, and how they almost always matched even if he was in casual clothing and she was in office clothes.

You're supposed to get a telepathy feel from them. Like they're on the same wavelength.

In ships/shows they usually subconsciously brainwash you into details of a relationship by having them wear or have something that reminds you of them.

In wardrobe, clothing is meticulously planned to match characters financial situation and express their personality. The clothes tell the story.

And the story usually is we go together. Real bad.

So yeah, sure in this scene/episode they were more in tune and tandem and as time went on they became more disjointed.

Granted they do work in a place with uniforms but I digress.

And lastly my third point part II-

Same But Different

If this were a kdrama there'd be like 0.00% chance that they WOULDN'T happen.

First they're the main leads so duh, and second the way that they parallel each other is insane.

There are many edits and examples of them directly mirroring each other in certain situations.

Scrubbing the floors when feeling lonely seemingly in the exact same spot, stressing in the freezer, saying stuff at the same time and their weird telepathy and answering each other's - sandwiches (that's what I was gonna say).

(sorry)

And if any of you say work wife I will rage cause let me catch my man laying under a table like that!!!

Sparta!

But for real, yes there's intimacy and friendship and all that but I ain't everr look at my friends of either gender like that.

If did I probably had feelings and just kept em in. And did the Carmy puppy eyes (TM).

And yes we are aware Carmy is emotionally constipated like a coke bottle filled with mentos with a tight cap on and his lack of a social life coupled with his (many) different mental illnesses/difficulties.

So he probably doesn't even recognize or even want to recognize them as such and honestly as a 4 lifer

I'm really sad but I don't think he'll confess in the next season.

I'm making a post about it but I'm also uncertain about it lasting more than three seasons as thematically and the way it was intended to be a movie I feel kind of uncertain.

It can extend to 4 but it was intended and the way it's narratively been flowing its exactly like a 3 act structure just spread out (like butter).

The next season is after the dark of night aka main character loses everything.

This season was fun and games - quite literally him having amusement and such. (Training Arc!!) It ended with his demise I'd say.

Now there's no where to go but up.

I'm not saying that it's impossible, but a 4th season would likely be more aimed toward getting a star or maintaining a star etc and family ties and such.

That'd be most likely when, if any, outwardly romantic contact should happen.

But they might surprise me.

Butt honestly in KDrama land there's no way the set up isn't romantic even if it was just a chef or professional focused show.

I'd say it'd be standard honestly for ones focused on career with a dash of romance.

Ex. Miss Hammurabi (best example)

The Good Doctor (Japanese Version)

There's probably more but I exclusively watch romance so 🤷🏾‍♀️.

In Conclusion,

Yes. They are end game.

I also wanna say how odd it is that this ship is attacked by fans of the show and non fans alike because I've literally grew up in the age of Rise of The Brave Tangled Guardians.

There's nothing more random than that time period.

They all dated each other!

Like my guy there's a Tony the Tiger x Grinch fic and don't even get me started on the Onceler selfcest as different flavors of himself (/j i love stuff like this)!

My point is it's not that unusual for the two leads to be shipped. Same gender or not.

I also have years of teenage brain rot developed from eating movies for breakfast so I know more than you! (/hj) I'm obviously right!

I will be discussing some more of this in length at a later date.

But I rest my case.

I will retreat into my cave until next time.

#sydcarmy #syd x carmy #carmy x sydney #long post #ranting #shipping #the bear #media analysis #tv analysis #kdrama #meta #the bear meta #sydney x carmy #the bear is a love story #syd x carmen #sydney adamu #carmy berzatto #the bear analysis #i am a fangirl #you will hear from me #pls be nice #i have an agenda #and that is romance! #gifs #like a lot of gifs

[starcrossedsongs]

I've waxed poetic about this scene on Twitter, but I figured I'd do it here, too!

(Screenshots are my own, gifs are from here, by the lovely Dana)

I'm gonna quickly preface this by saying that I have zero idea if Zillace will be more than friends this season or beyond. They're my #1 ship right now, but either way, I just can't articulate enough how much I love this moment.

Katherine talked here about how when she and Zeeko play these kinds of scenes, their own experiences as the two POC leads on the show informs it. And I love that, because it's so apparent in the way that Tiff and OA interact.

This isn't an anti-Maggie or anti-Scola post, but their dismissal of OA taking offense to the suspect being assumed Middle-Eastern ticked me off. But, even with that, I noticed this:

First, OA is just...incredibly annoyed, which is super valid.

But even while that's happening, you know who's focused on him? Tiff. It's like they're having a silent conversation, with the real one to come minutes later once they get in the house.

Even as Maggie walks ahead, they're maintaining that eye contact. If you watch the scene in real time, it reminds me a lot of 5x04, when OA snapped at the agent who made a (distasteful) "joke" about the case. Then and here, Tiff was essentially laser-focused on OA the entire time, non-verbally seeing if he's good (and in the case of 5x04, both verbally and physically).

Which makes the 6x01 scene all the more special.

It's so short—honestly, if you blink or were looking at your phone, you might miss it. But Tiff opens up the door once she and OA are near each other and out of earshot from their partners—"So much for the guy being Middle-Eastern."

Look at OA's expression here. It's almost like he's bracing himself, the way his sentence trails off. Not that Tiff would say anything remotely like the SWAT leader, Maggie, or Scola did—but to me, it just looks like he's a guy who's tired of the assumptions and treads lightly sometimes when things like this happen.

Alright, so let's break this down. Tiff's response is immediate—yeah, I know. Because she does. Yes, she and OA look different, but they've each had to see up close and personal what having skin color like theirs means in situations like this. You're always a target. A suspect. Even if you didn't do anything.

The little shake of her head as she looks back down—sort of like, "it's a shame" type of thing.

But, then the "trust me" is what gets me. Because (first of all, Tiff, he does, with his life) she's seeing the opposite side of it: how Black people are often accused without warning just because of what we look like. And it's there—the innate understanding that she's communicating with him in that moment. She knows that after what happened outside, he's seeking reassurance that he's not overreacting, that he has a right to be annoyed, and with five words, Tiffany told him, you weren't wrong.

And OA freaking sighs after she says it. You can see it in his face, the relief at the fact that she gets it. Gets him. In five words, Tiffany understands. Perhaps more than anyone ever has.

Y'all see his eyes? The way they flit over her face for a second or two—relishing the fact that, okay, this is someone I don't have to tiptoe around. I can say exactly how I feel and know they won't judge me or have some preconceived notion. They listen, they hear me, and they don't try to understand. They simply do.

This has already gotten way too long, but I'm so serious when I say that OA and Tiffany have the most unique dynamic on FBI. There's so much depth and realness, a shared life perspective, and if you see them like I do, tons of chemistry as well. I really hope S6 furthers their bond, because it's so near and dear to my heart.

Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk! :)

#fbi #fbi cbs #oa zidan #tiffany wallace #katherine renee kane #zeeko zaki #zillace #long post #otp: nobody gets me like you #analysis #tiffany x oa #fbicbs #wolf entertainment

[gayofthefae]

I just realized what the trick is. The GA knows that Mike looks like he reciprocates feelings. But they also know that we're in Will's POV a lot of the time. And they're equating the two. "Oh, Mike only looks like that because Will has false hope so they're making it look that way"...but both can be and are true. Yes, we are in Will's POV, good eye. But that also is objectively Mike's behavior.

They aren't as invested to think about it harder so I understand why you wouldn't think of it that way, but that's what it is. It isn't that they don't see it, it's that they dismiss it as being Will's biased point of view. Anything you noticed is because Will noticed it. If it seemed romantic, that's to demonstrate Will's wishful thinking. But it's not. It can be. both.

It's clever. To say "this is Will's POV, which is biased" and subvert the season theme of biased narrators to essentially use reverse psychology. "Here is a biased point of view of something that is actually happening to make you dismiss it as just his perspective," to make him dismiss it as just his perspective. Because his perspective is even larger than you think it is. You think it extends to just his wishful thinking but it goes beyond that, it includes him acknowledging it as wishful thinking. They place in his shoes only to set up still being in them at the time of his doubt and self deprecation. So that you, too, believe that Mike's destined for El and that he'll never reciprocate Will's feelings.

THAT'S the real unreliable narration. The unreliable narration is that Will's narration is unreliable, almost. Will thinks anything he sees is just wishful thinking and dismisses it. So so do you. You think the writers are trying to convince you and you're dismissing it, but they're not. They know you. They're convincing you to dismiss it.

They're convincing you to see it as unrequited while also putting it in plain sight. And when you do rewatch, you'll see that it was always there. And you knew it was the first time, too. You just got tricked into believing it wasn't real. But it was.

The false truth wasn't that Will believed Mike reciprocated. It was actually in volume 2, when he believed that he didn't.

You didn't break out of Will's POV by commenting on how you don't think Mike loves him back, you only immersed yourself further without even knowing it. His biased narration is of Mike's relationship with El, not Mike's relationship with him. But he thinks the opposite...and so so do you.

It's funny the organization and order of it all. Because your brain picks up patterns. You know there will be some falsehood to his story, like everyone else's, so you latch onto the first one you see, his hope, without noticing the little moments:

El and Mike are laughing and holding hands, but Mike says that he wasn't happy all day because he was focusing on Will.

Mike tells El he loves her and they're more in love than ever, but Mike tells Will they've hardly spoken in two days.

Mike tells El it was love at first sight, but Mike tells Will it was happenstance - even specifying that it "wasn't fate or destiny"

The direct contradictions are there, you just have to look. They don't look and that's fine. That's the definition of general audience. That's why I'm analyzing. That's the intention of the writers. And when you look surface level for a falsehood, the easy answer is that Will is wrong to believe Mike reciprocates, but not only am I personally not sure he even believed that, but if you look closer there's another right in front of you with direct contradictions with Mike telling you flat out that Will's perception of his relationship is incorrect.

#stranger things #general audience byler #byler meta #byler

[ecivons]

Zosan/Sanzo Fic list

I just wanted to make a list of the fics I've read/Fic recommendations for anyone out there. The ones in bold purple are my absolute favorites. (A lot have M/E ratings and Adult language)

Falling by sorrowfulcheese - The dialogue.. the pacing.. THE CRUST I loved it all. One of the first zs fics haha, it's only tag is fluff. It barely feels like fluff fluff, this is just Zosans personal brand of fluff.

Liquid Courage by sabershadowkat (E) - Sanji experiences drunk Zoro once and keeps trying to sleep with him. (!! some dubious consent the first time). The last line is what got me.

[I saved a lot of shadowsaberkat works, just scroll through their entire account if you're okay with M+ fics]

Alongside All The Way by sabershadowkat (E) - I liked the Adventures going on in the background of the fic. Sort of a compilation of Zoro and Sanji becoming more and more important to eachother

Bit by Bit by sabershadowkat - Getting together type beat. A few moments of Zoro slowly dealing with his emotions for Sanji.

Falling Blossoms by sabershadowkat - I'm usually picky about established but I love the way they write <3. It's short and sweet. Just a lil Zosan date.

Things Unsaid (E) - Established Relationship. Zoro gets injured and they're forced to wait out a snow storm while working through their relationship. (I love this person's characterization of them wayy too much)

Rules of Love (E) - It’s one of those fics.. (conflict, sex, resolution) just the way I like my Zosan. A little internalized homophobia on Sanji's part.

when you say by bluewalk - Unrequited Usosan. Zosan from the perspective of a pining Usopp. (Beautiful, a bit confusing but I loved reading it)

tricks out of your sleeves by bluewalk - Zoro and Sanji are forced to learn a few things about each other's past. IMO it's written pretty gen. I love the character exploration.

Myalgia by Salmon_Pink - An exploration of how Zoro and Sanji talk about thriller bark (they don’t). They used the mood prompt so well the tension was welling up in my chest the entire time.

Understandable by Salmon_Pink (M) - Another short fic by Salmon Pink because they write the two of them amazingly. Zoro and Sanji who will never be emotionally vulnerable with each other out loud.

destructivity is a poison that runs through our veins by wasteofmind (M.. its E to me) - They want to kill each other.

Residue of a Rainbow by Narcissistic_Ninny (E) - Zoro and Sanji go through a traumatic experience and maybe fall in love too. This person has amazing fics, but this is definitely my favorite. Zoro is good at hiding what he's thinking but you just know..

green with envy blues by adietxt - Really short fic with jealous Zoro. I saved it mainly because the narration is a little funny.

it's a long way forward by donutsandcoffee - Sanji can't smile because of a devil fruit. The strawhats love his smile..

you got that something by adietxt - Sanji is forced to stick to Zoro. Nothing but a bundle of fluff and self-indulgence that I enjoyed all the same.

(failed) Stewardship by LibbyLune - Soulmate AU. Sanji's has been dead for a long time. Author has such an amazing take on soulmates I love it. I love Luffy's especially. P.S. The authors note at the end made me fall to my knees.

the universe told me by rudimentaryflair - Soulmate AU. Zoro desperately hides his soul mark while learning about his nakama's. I like how its almost the opposite of how Zoro and Sanji were portrayed in the previous fic I recommended (when it comes to their opinions on soulmates). I love both though.

blood, salt and idiocy by rosie_peverell - Zoro gets a taste of his own medicine. (Sanji gets injured trying to save him). It's short and cute.

and then the sun came out by demonzoro (shrinewreck) - Takes place in pre-ts, post-ts and future. Zosan realizing they're "friends". Extremely Tender idk what to tell you.

a catalog of non-definitive acts by demonzoro (shrinewreck) - Zoro pines. Nothing I say could possibly convey the emotions this fic makes me feel. You just need to give it a read I promise.

for poor and poorer still by rudimentaryflair - Modern AU. Short and sweet. Zoro finally finds the perfect moment to propose.

how normal people do by rudimentaryflair - Namivivi Pov. This is so funny. I love the best friend drinking buddy dynamic of Nami and Zoro. This fic has funny moments that I remember in public and start laughing to myself about.

paging mr. swordsman by rosie_peverell - If I had a nickel for every Modern AU Zosan ficlet that takes place in a grocery store..

The Fall of a Hundred Things by LibbyLune - Sanji sleeps with Zoro after a party one night and it messes him up. Franky is the MVP of this fic. I love him. (Check out author for more good works)

End On A High Note by thisislegit - Modern AU. Established Sanji and Zoro have problems they need to talk about. (Oh how I love the ups and downs of a mundanely domestic relationship)

In Your Warm Embrace by marimoliciousness - Sanji is an idiot and realizes something about Zoro (himself). They get caught in a snowstorm.

migratory animals by donutsandcoffee - Sanji is strong in a way that fascinates Zoro

that's all for now!! I might consider adding more in the future.

#zoro x sanji #sanzo #zosan #fic reccomendations #coping thru fics is a lifestyle #Von fic rec

[alovelyburn]

Berserk Freaks was a pair of books written by fans who visited and interviewed Miura. So every instance of first person narration, unless stated otherwise, is just a fan's perspective, not Miura's. The only sentence we have from him in this (again, relayed through a fan) is "Even without considering the God Hand, I thought Casca would feel that way if the perpetrator were Griffith". "That way" leaves a lot to interpretation, but given that this is right after the fan author comments on the less favorable female readers' views, I'm inclined to think that's what he's referring to. Meaning she wouldn't "enjoy" it, even if it were human Griffith. Like you said, it would contradict the very story Miura told if that weren't the case. The rape was the basis of her insanity for most of the series, after all, leaving her feeling uneasy next to other men. And let's not forget how Griffith and the eclipse are portrayed in her dreamscape. As for the "depictions of ecstasy" we're going back to the same old question, where people take what's shown in those panels at face value. One of the most horrible things about rape is that victims can climax from it, but that doesn't mean they LIKE it, it's a complete loss of bodily autonomy. The whole Scene is framed as pure horror for both Guts and Casca.

This sure is a cut and paste sent to me about a subject I've never weighed in on, but okay.

I think you're reaching and if you read a decent translation it's clear that he means she felt pleasure because it was Griffith. I mean he said that, so there's not a lot of ways around it.

Trying to turn this from Miura specifically and directly saying this admittedly uncomfortable thing into him saying the actual opposite (not only did she not feel pleasure, she never would even if it were human Griffith!) is an example of exactly what I keep saying: that certain segments of the Berserk fandom literally will talk themselves into thinking day is night because they like night better than day.

I will concede that the scene is framed as horror for Guts, but I will also say as I've said many times before, that one of the major reasons it's horrible to Guts is because he was always afraid that Griffith and Casca were into each other and he was just kind of there. It isn't framed as a horror for her because her POV is almost entirely absent.

The rest of the points arent' necessarily things I'd argue about - your perception is your perception, and if it shakes your understanding of the story that's valid, but he said what he said.

#ask #anonymous #ariel talks about berserk #i need to stop starting from the top of my inbox and working to the bottom bc i never reach the bottom that way

[hypermascbishounen]

Interesting that you point out how babied Lenore was in S4, because

yes, she was. She was written like such an immature brat, making stupid jokes and constantly whining that she was so boooored and no one needed her anymore and oh no she's so scawed of mean cawmiwwa 🥺 and it feels disingenuous, no I'm sorry I get that the context is different but the Lenore who cries that Carmilla lied to her is not the Lenore who was able to gaslight Hector into believing that actually he was lucky that he was beaten and imprisoned.

this is yet another way her character got disrespected, if you care about her. Remember, the other council vampires clearly had a poor opinion of Lenore. Carmilla made fun of her for her tendency to take care of animals, Striga implied that she saw her as a hopeless romantic, Morana talked about her like a silly little girl living in her fantasies. And the most charitable explanation as to why Lenore snapped and beat Hector to an inch of his life when he threatened her is precisely that he, too, saw her as a young defenseless girl: to be fair, would he have thought to attack any of the other three? Probably not. And Lenore clearly resents this situation so much, which is why he beat him way past self defense, which is why she had fun dominating him, which is why she was eager to humiliating him in front of her sisters, who both admired her for her genius and were disgusted by her sexual comments (a way to keep the control of the conversation)

I like this idea. Both Hector and Lenore are the "weak link" of their group, looked down on for their apparent "softness", but while Hector apparently didn't know, didn't realize or didn't care (if the writing was good, I could say that it's because he lived a life of abuse so he doesn't realize his own worth), Lenore very much did, and she rebounded too far in the opposite direction. Her kindness can almost be seen as a subtle way to feel powerful, more subtle than simply beating people into submission: sure, taking care of someone is a nice act... but also, they depend on you, and they're more malleable to your wishes.

So yeah, from this perspective, her constant 🥺 face in S4 is infantilizing an abuser. Lenore did nothing wrong. She always wanted to protect Hector, really. He was having fun when she manipulated him into sex, so what's the big deal. They are such good friends who understand each other. Of course Hector would love her and protect her with barely a second thought. Who wouldn't? An evil person? But they're so cute together 🥺

(btw, I'm interested to know who is the other Beatrice you mentioned lol! As for the Sugarman one, she is such a fascinating character who is so, so pitiable for what happened to her, but still not woobiefied for the horrible way she took her misery on her innocent son)

(also sorry for the ask lol, I didn't want to make a long post longer than it already is)

(no worries, feel free to send asks or messages! I always have more to say than I know what yo do with lol)

The other Beatrice is from Umineko, a series of murder mystery visual novels in the wider When They Cry series. She's hard to describe without spoilers tbh, but relevant atm: she can be a real smug sadist while still containing genuine tragedy, and her relationships get to actually mean something. Here she is expressing true opinions about nfcv:

I feel like a Lenore whose loss of humanity was allowed to be explored as a legit Dracula parrelel, could have almost been interesting. Oh well.

The biggest issue imo, is that she can't really exist as a character without Hector, but the story itself feels threatened by Hector being a character compared to her. This means that no matter how much they try to build her up by contrast, she gets dragged down anyways. So now all they have is two ruined characters for the price of one.

Personally, I think maybe the catharsis granted from a character who does bad things, is only as good as the work lets you engage with them on that premise. If you keep dragging it back to how they're basically in the right anyways, it can lose the emotional opportunity for the audience to explore dark feelings. This doesn't mean you can't write them to be sympathetic ever, but it does mean they risk falling into a weakened power fantasy or cheap fanservice, if you effectively just preach to the audience about how cool they are, esp at the expense of other characters.

#anti netflixvania #Idk how well im articulating that last point #I may be tired lol

[randomfoggytiger]

Inbox being weird again, had to repost (sorry, anon!)

What are your thoughts on IWTB? It’s now on hulu and I am like 15 minutes in to a rewatch (I’ve watched FtF a truly offensive number of times but have only seen this once, when it first came out) and am absolutely incensed already. I’m having trouble making sense of their characters, they seem so OOC to me — even with the understanding that they are (possibly both) depressed and life on the run has really jaded and hardened them. Also its so weird to me that Amanda Peet reaches out to touch Mulders cheek bc he cut himself shaving? Just bizarre behavior all around!

It is a truly bizarre movie. I've not seen it; but I have done extensive research on it, if that makes sense. I think it can be summed up by this one Tumblr post I saw (and lost, someone help me find it!) that noted Mulder requested a helicopter for himself and Scully to, essentially, walk a few street blocks to the next location. Because CC wanted a helicopter in his movie and he was going to get it, somehow, someway.

Below is a tragically long post filled with article links for more enjoyment~.

(**Note**: Will edit this post later, brb.)

TLDR: A movie/tv series worth its salt is well-written, end of story. It doesn't matter how excellent or in-character the themes or motifs or etc. are if the characters are badly written or act out-of-turn. You cannot have a god-tier theme about fighting back the Darkness and seeking for the Truth if at every opportunity the characters themselves reject the message continually in ways that make no sense, especially when they have a history of stellar characterization and well-thought-out opinions and actions. This movie is a prime example of that.

There are numerous blogs here that have already (rightfully) griped about IWTB, so I won't go into plot nonsense or whatnot. But I DO have interviews that show how roughshod the movie making process was before it even hit theatres, so....

I first heard about IWTB's flaws peripherally through this article (that trashes the Revival, highly recommend. Written by a CC fan, too, so it's not a bash-sesh against the Creator.) It spoke endearingly-ish about IWTB, believing it to be more in-character than the Revival (yup.... unfortunately.) Then I started perusing fan opinions... and everyone pretty much agreed it was awful in most parts and shippy in others.

TBH, shippy doesn't mean squat to me. Maybe it's how I'm wired, but I was drawn to The X-Files because the romance is so unspoken with very light kisses. I 100% get Chris Carter's restraint perspective; but I also get the fans' perspective, that it's gone too far to ignore or take back. An example: the movie sets up a "gasp, really??" mystery that Scully is a doctor with a life separate from Mulder, driving over to him to try to get him involved in the FBI manhunt. It's taken back almost immediately when Mulder later springs up beside her in bed, but it's those little touches that start to confuse the message. And then throw in Scully insisting Mulder join the chase while Gillian Anderson acted her completely opposite to what she was saying and you start to see the mess unravel. Then Mulder tosses aside his loyalty to Scully-- something that is KEY to his character, having formerly left his life's work for her and even left his newborn son when she told him to-- to chase the very monsters she begged him to chase but is now begging him not to. There is no reason given other than "It's who I am", which is NOT who Mulder is: he is a man willing to sacrifice who he is and what makes him tick over and over for Scully's sake. This not only breaks his character in-movie, it nullifies all his actions and choices in the original series, stripping them of their consequences and weight.

The movie, I believe, was supposed to be about Mulder and Scully scrabbling against the Darkness while also lost in confusion: they're together but Scully feels threatened by Agent Whitney, Mulder no's the case before getting wrapped up into it, Scully supports then withdraws her support (and LEAVES??), both rely on the word of a pedophile priest (a similar alliance to Luthor Lee Boggs but creepier and less redeemable... and even Boggs wasn't redeemed), and finally Scully casts aside her doubts to get back in the saddle and save Mulder. It seems a compelling story, no? ...No.

An example of the "confusion" theme of the plot: When Mulder meets up with the other agents to discuss terms (I suppose), the camera briefly pans to random people walking past him in the hallway-- one of them is the actress who played his little sister in the OG series; and the camera makes it a point for Mulder to notice that fact... but so briefly and quickly it never made an impression on him permanently, a.k.a. a seeming callback. BUT when Scully yells at him (before? after? I dunno) about always looking for his sister, this is the scene that was supposed to back her up? In which case: dude, we all saw the Samantha Agent. She did, indeed, look like Samantha; and she had NOTHING to do with this case. The only explanation Scully had for her tasteless remark was that she thought Mulder was full-on delusional or so stubborn he was projecting his own demons onto this case. Y'know... the case he didn't want and only got more involved in to SAVE LIVES. In which case, it doesn't fit with the themes of the movie at all: Mulder was right here, Scully was wrong; but the movie stated that SCULLY was right, or at least half-right, and Mulder was at least half-wrong. It's all nonsense.

The dialogue is atrocious. Absolutely appalling. Which makes sense to an extent: CC and Spotnitz had this movie written out right after the series ended as an attempt to gain back the studio's attention. No such luck; and when FOX was finally interested to make more money, the script notes were accidentally lost; so CC and Frank blitzkrieged up a final draft in just a few weeks (very not good.) This and this article breaks down how Spotnitz (in his own words) watched CC battle FOX from the sidelines for the movie, then scramble with him to complete a draft in time for filming; and it explains (but doesn't justify) the stilted dialogue, horrendous pacing issues, and disjointed theme. To summarize:

""Frank Spotnitz: ...The pressure in television is incredible because you’ve got to keep coming up with another script, another script, another script. The movie was completely different. We started work on the story in 2003, and then got derailed for four years by deal-making and the threat of a lawsuit. Then when we returned to it in 2007, we’d lost our notes.

Lost your notes?

Frank Spotnitz: We’d put them on note cards to pitch the studio, and we couldn’t locate them. At first, we were very unhappy, but it ended up being a blessing in disguise. We remembered what the case was about, but the emotional beats, the personal beats between Mulder and Scully, we had to start from scratch, and we had changed."" 

Frank Spotnitz claims it was effortless to get back in their characters' heads; and, while that may be true, it was certainly not effortless to put them down on paper.

The messaging of the movie was so confusing that Mark Snow, the composer, didn't read all of it correctly (which is important for the person composing the score for each scene):

""Now the plot of I Want To Believe has characteristically remained a secret – I don’t suppose you can tell us anything about what we can expect from this film?

Well the interesting part was, when I read the script the first thing I got out of it was deep, dark complexity and I spoke to Chris Carter afterwards and he said ‘what do you think?’, I said ‘man, it’s so complex and dark and mysterious’, and he said ‘and it’s a love story with religious overtones…’ Okay! He said ‘just keep that in mind’ and you know I re-read it and I got what he meant, and then seeing the movie I certainly got what he meant. Besides the Mulder and Scully relationship there are some other very very emotional, intimate if you would, moments there that do add spiritual and religious weight to it...."" 

This article does well at picking apart the claims (some ludicrous) for and against the movie But, for time's sake, let's skip to the summary of the very sloppy (and downright goofy) climax of the movie:

""The biggest shortcoming may be that the case is solved by both Mulder and Scully independently and simultaneously, and thanks to coincidences on both their behalf. Mulder’s investigative skills lead him to the villain thanks to a simple visit to a local store; stem cell research for organ transplants and for curing Christian allow the two storylines to cross, but Scully having a revelation by finding the villain’s research on the internet through a non-related search draws the odds extremely. There is little actual investigation and the case is wrapped up too quickly. All those are little things — but they pile up to too much.""

Both the actors had "notes" and "questions" (read here) about their characters when they first got the script, with Gillian Anderson admitting how hard it was to find her character (post here)--

""Gillian Anderson: I had a similar experience. This feels so weird. Summertime. I didn’t have all the running around that David had to do, but I did have my own unfortunate beginning which was starting with one of the most difficult scenes for Scully in the film where it’s later on in the script and she goes through a range of emotions in confronting Billy Connolly’s  character. I just had a really time for those first couple of days that that scene was. I had a really hard time just finding her, finding her voice. I think I must’ve gone through ten other characters in the process of trying to get to her when I had assumed that I would be able to show up on the first day and it would just be there. It wasn’t until I think day three when we got to work together, not just necessarily in a familiar environment which it really wasn’t, but in the environment of each other and the relationship and that it kind of felt natural and familiar and I felt like I’d landed this time."" --

but it was David Duchovny who was surprisingly the most honest to the press about his (measured) thoughts, as he's usually the most reticent. He always wanted to do a movie series, liking the scope and freedom it would give him with acting and scheduling; but he mentioned, once or twice, that he wished IWTB had been a bigger action film in the vein of FTF. Further, he admits to an interviewer about his thoughts and his (slight) dissatisfaction with Mulder's out-of-character element here:

""Since The X-Files: I Want to Believe may not have been the huge blockbuster that everyone was hoping for, we’d like to know: What is your own measure of success for the movie?

Duchovny: I guess it’s always the first time I see the movie. What’s my feeling when I come out? I always felt like the subject matter of this particular movie was limiting. It was dark, and it wasn’t going....

I’ve only seen it one time, and I was sitting in Chris’ editing room. I watched it on a little screen. I guess I missed the chance to see it on the big screen, and that’s too bad, but when I left that initial screening at Chris’ house, the film was pretty much almost done except for some special effects. I just felt like it was really strong and kind of a strangely moving piece of work. Still dark, and still, I thought, limited, but the way that the movie performed did not surprise me so much, and I think that if we do get a chance to do another one … what I always really liked about the show was that it had a dark vision, but at the heart of it being driven by Mulder was this real optimism or wonder or sense of belief, and then it would kind of open out. Most of the best shows that we did would open out into real wonder at the end, if only because you didn’t have an answer, which was the mystery of it, but the wonder.

Mulder’s quest, to me, is a very positive one. If we get a chance to do another one, I think because in this movie Mulder kept getting reinvigorated, Mulder was in a down place for much of this film; he wasn’t driving the way he drives, the way he drove everything before that. In a way, the nature of how we had to get back into the show, which was to take the guy out of his job, also deprived the movie of some optimism and wonder and enlightenment that occurs when you’ve got this unhinged guy trying to prove wonderful crazy things.""

And while DD defended IWTB's box office failings as having to compete against Batman, one of the previous articles I linked had the savvy to tackle that reason and debunk it:

""The defenders of IWTB will endlessly complain about the budget (but look at what a feast Darren Aronofsky did with $35 million: “The Fountain” (2006)), the fact that it’s low-key ‘intellectual’ and not blockbuster-like (so is “There Will Be Blood” (2007), $25 million, and countless other generally agreed upon masterpieces), the lousy promotion (but look at what good word of mouth can do with a movie few believed in in the beginning: “The Matrix” (1999), $65 million), the unforseen success of “The Dark Knight” as competition (hardly an argument) or trends in selfish cinema critics (as if a bad reception is the sole result of a conspiracy).

However what will remain in history is not the whys and hows but the what: the final product itself. And the truth is that if IWTB featured characters other than Mulder and Scully, this would be a not very memorable movie.""

Needless to say: the entire movie's a mess, and it's down to the roots. While beautiful visually and musically-- all the reviews and cast and crew had nothing to say against that-- the characters and the script and the plot were a horrible mishmash that highlighted its weaknesses and smashed down its strengths.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to ramble; and sorry if this didn't do what you needed! But you did inspire me to find all the old angry IWTB discussions/posts on Tumblr (archive hopping, heheheh) and put them all in one place. So, look forward to that sometime in the future, I suppose~!

Disclaimers: I do not like canon after S8; and that's only because they get a happy ending and, even though it has garbage canon decisions, the characters were able to save most of it and forget the rest. But I will treat IWTB as its own thing devoid of my personal opinion.

#asks #txf #IWTB #thoughts #thank you for sending an ask! #I wanted to take the time to provide scope and scale #I despiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise IWTB #because it's beautiful and pretty #and so so broken #it's really only “nice” in the shippy moments #because it's just Mulder and Scully banter #but when the plot kicks in they become weird aliens #analysis #mine #meta

[fumblingmusings]

what do you think/like about (romantic) usuk in historical hetalia? how do you see their dynamics? im curious

I like how they can be one of those relationships where its hard to define what they are to each other, because they have been so much at varying points. They are everything. You know? You know.

Oh look. This turned into a bit of an essay. USUK let's go.

They are genuinely one of my favourite ships and have been for like 15 years at this point. I'm a sucker for them being soft on each other. You know when a fic allows Arthur to say 'my love' or 'my darling'? Or Alfred dropping a 'sweetheart?'

You can find me on the floor like

It's the way in which they grow from 'you never fucking understood me' to 'you know me better than most anyone' and what they see and understand is in equal parts gorgeous and horrifying, and yet they still pick the other.

The fact that getting there for the two of them took a lot of hard work too! It took rivers of blood and trenches of soldiers and burning of cities and the promise of 'no-one can hurt you without also hurting me'. The willingness to end isolationism for the other.

The way the past for both of them holds nearly nothing but grief, and despite this, they still think their futures are entirely entangled and genuinely believe it to be the right course of action. The formation of an unconditional affection from what was - for Alfred - a series of targets he never had a chance of hitting and - for Arthur - the projection of a love which never truly existed in the first place because they just did not understand each other.

Arthur maybe puts in more work than Alfred in the early years, but its his fault their relationship is in tatters to begin with, so...

Personally, and this leans into what I think canon tries to show, is they go through the following stages :

Arthur is a teenager pretending to be an adult to big himself up as this big powerful nation but at the end of the day he is pretty much still a child himself. He completely fails to connect and understand Alfred to the cost of any warmth the two may have had for each other.

Alfred tries once to salvage something from the ashes, but is blocked by Matthew (I don't blame Matthew for doing so, Alfred was barging in unannounced to his house and Mattie was trying to do right by a sick Arthur) and thus Alfred resolves not to try again. Their relationship thereafter is purely economic and formal, and as Arthur retreats into isolationism, Alfred goes West, and they do not think about each other. They don't see each other for a long time. That wound festers and weeps, becoming infected at the back of their minds.

Arthur thinks, lying to himself that, 'I never loved him. Not once,' and focuses his attention elsewhere. Alfred knows he made the right choice and that expecting anything from Arthur is just an exercise in disappointment.

When the 19th century begins to end, and Arthur is realising that A) his power is fading as much as America's is rising B) he has no pals to soften the fall and C) he is lonely. Him being rejected by Germany and then his response to that is to ask Alfred is interesting to me. He's angling it from the perspective of 'who are the nations that I deem as my equal' at this point, but that shows how Alfred has risen in his estimations, even passively. He immediately recognises that Alfred is lonely, too. They mirror each other, except Arthur is initially far more willing to be emotionally vulnerable. Almost running opposite to what you would expect, but Arthur is an emotionally vulnerable character. He always has been. Especially with Alfred.

But Alfred, as we know, shoots him down rather harshly (for a whale... jokingly. i think). It's the way that Arthur continuously trusts Alfred with those moments of emotional vulnerability even though the man is far more likely to laugh in his face about it.

I flip flop on when they genuinely truly start to reconcile. Maybe in the trenches, the muddy foundations are laid. They are still cautious around each other, but maybe Alfred breaks, just for a moment, and Arthur is privileged enough to be allowed to watch (but not to comfort). Maybe in the 20s, when they are both very drunk, they admit that what they were to each other was not real necessarily and the regret of such a realisation. Was it really just a label they assigned to pretend they weren't crippingly lonely even in the other's presence? But they go no further than that. They don't voice out loud that that moment felt more real and genuine than a thousand new suits or toys or dance lessons or taxes. They're not quite there yet.

Then honestly Lying in that Sound, Tonight does such an impeccable job of writing the two coming (not saying you have to read a 100,000 word fic to understand why I love them but it don't hurt) together that I really cannot see it any other way at this point - the argument where Arthur has to point out it's Alfred who is stuck on the past, not Arthur. Arthur, meanwhile, is very much struggling to see a future worth living for at that point and really isn't worried about what they were two hundred years ago.

Arthur, who at some points is struggling to remember why he is even fighting because he is so goshdang tired. And Alfred is young, and strong, and bright, and I think Arthur maybe still has rose tinted glasses on when it comes to Alfred and sees him as 'better' than old Europe in many ways. I mean he'll scoff at whatever spiel Alfred regurgitates about being the hero but... well he is Arthur's. Just a bit.

I think though by the 70s those glasses well and truly crack. He sees that Alfred can be ambitious for the sake of ambition, can be cruel for the sake of being cruel, etc. etc. Like Alfred is just a man. A bright, beautiful, spiteful, self absorbed, joyful, kind man. And Arthur is always just a little in awe of him. I think for Alfred, Arthur represents quiet, steady, cautious and un-conditionality, all of which are things he lacks or craves. Arthur is not some great towering giant (you used to be so big). He's just... tired damp little Arthur.

So yeah. I like that there's no masking around each other. They have learned through experience exactly who the other is, whilst still believing that the better version of the other is their true self. They have genuinely seen the other at their absolute worst and most monstrous, and decided I still want you and I am not afraid and... I just like it.

Yeah.

Also they're cute and when I got reminded of the sexy carnival outfit strip I took psychic damage.Unhinged behaviour from the two of them.

#hetalia #hws england #hws america #usuk #headcanon #~they~ #are whatever I want them to be to each other #my little dollies #dance puppets dance!!! #q&a

[priestessofcreation]

"Coming of Age" or What it means to be an Adult

As explained through a fictional lens.

You know the story...

The prince of the Fire Nation was banished from his home country for dishonoring his elders and his father. His mission to restore his honor? Find the Avatar, capture him, and bring him back to the Fire Nation. With his willpower, passion, and boundless anger driving him, he searched dutifully and thoroughly. And somehow, despite all evidence pointing to the opposite possibility, he found Avatar Aang. He chased him relentlessly, rivaling this boy with godlike power by his determination and anger alone. The prince used every strategy and resource he had, committing sometimes heinous acts to capture Avatar Aang. Even after he was almost assassinated, Zuko would not stop. He went north, got his hands on Aang... and by a combination of ill-thought out strategy and the Avatar's mercy, Zuko simultaneously lost Aang again and survived a situation that should have killed.

Iroh and Zuko, now traitors, get away...

And Zuko says, "I'm tired."

His uncle, with all his kindness, replied: "Then rest. A man needs his rest."

Over half-a-season later, and the character arcs for both Zuko and Iroh have mainly revolved around situations outside of the Avatar. They are fugitives on the run from the Fire Nation and they must figure out who they are as individuals in that context. While Iroh grows to appreciate this simple life that has come to him, Zuko absolutely cannot let go of yearning for his royal life and the resentment that he has lost it permanently.

By a stroke of luck, Aang and his friends are in Ba Sing Se when Zuko and Iroh are. By a stroke of luck, Aang releases a missing poster for Appa that Zuko manages to catch.

That mission to catch the Avatar is reignited.

Zuko slips back into his Blue Spirit identity, manages to blackmail a Dai Li agent and break into the compound under Lake Laogai. He gets all the way to Appa's jailcell and well...

You know the scene:

Who are you?

And what do YOU want?

The argument I am going to make is that to be an adult means to answer those very questions.

As children, all our decisions are made for us. We trust our parents completely because we are learning. The world is big and wide and beautiful and our parents/guardians/family/village are our guides. They are our protectors and our caretakers. They know what is best because quite frankly, under 10-years-old, we don't know much.

As teenagers, we develop a stronger sense of identity. We hit puberty and the first earmarks of who we will be as fully-grown people come to the surface. We rebel against our parents, we disagree, and we come to understand that we are a separate person with our own needs. Some of us make the mistake of thinking that because we can think for ourselves to an extent, that we know better than the much more experienced people around us.

As young adults, the hormones and confusion of adolescence is gone... but we are expected to be adults when our brains are not even fully developed until the age of 27. We are still privy to the naive perspectives we formed as children. We are in the adult world, making our way through it and trying to figure it out. Most of all, we are coming to realize that our parents are flawed. They work in a different field, have different beliefs and values, and have different experiences altogether. They make mistakes, they say ignorant things, and you disagree with them a lot. Sometimes, that can be infuriating. Most of all, we realize that our parents are getting old.

We have grown to the point where our parents can no longer infallibly make the decisions in our lives without it negatively impacting us in some manner. We are no longer 3-year-olds who might accidentally walk into the middle of the road. It's no longer that easy. We are adult individuals and we have our own lives.

And so:

Who are you?

And what do you want?

The concept of "coming of age" mainly revolves around adolescent characters in fiction. Mainly young white boys. It always discusses the first major adventure, and subsequently trauma, that the character experiences. The first peak into the adult world that changes you into man. Into woman. Into adult.

It is usually a shock that starts off as a magical adventure but grows heavier as the journey goes on until the weighty lesson at the end is made apparent.

I am going to offer a different definition: it is the journey of empowerment.

These coming-of-age stories are always brutal in a sense because it represents a loss of innocence and a gaining of wisdom. However, it is done through a lens that responsibility has come to weight down our character's shoulders.

However - what is to reach true adulthood, you have to experience all that... and figure out how to exist as you in all of it? Adulthood in these contexts are presented as a dark, serious things where childish, innocent things must be left behind. My definition, instead, presents the idea of meeting all the challenges adulthood has to offer and rising up as:

Yourself

Fully capable of handling it

The "loss of innocence" means that if you dreamed of being an actress, a singer, an author. If you had a childhood sweetheart. If you dreamt of fairies and butterflies and goodness in the world.

Those are childish whims and must be lost in the "reality" of adulthood.

I will, instead, demonstrate my alternative definition in the form of these examples:

1. Fire Lord Zuko

Who are you?

And what do you want?

If we were going to follow the traditional "coming of age" perspective, Zuko would have accepted his life in Ba Sing Se with his uncle, serving tea.

This is not a bad life.

But that is not what Zuko wanted. Ever.

Zuko has always wanted to be the Fire Lord. He took his duties as the heir seriously. That is why he asked his uncle to let him sit in on that war meeting that led to that biggest trauma of his young life. He chased Aang relentlessly for his father's love (draped in the flag of his honor), however there is one key scene during The Blue Spirit.

"My honor, my throne, my country... I'm about to lose them all."

The kid cares about the role he was bred to take on.

In S2, Zuko wanted to go home. He hated the life of a commoner. He hated that he had to live out his uncle's dream of a simple life because Zuko wants more. He wants to go home. He wants his father's love. He wants what is rightfully his. This is partially because he did grow up a spoiled prince, but the reason he was never properly happy in this situation was because he felt in his bones he wanted more.

Even after his metamorphosis, Azula was still able to manipulate him.

Through S3, as Zuko's cognitive dissonance leads him to wrestle between his good, good heart and what he has always wanted... that love he wanted from his father eventually transforms. Into love for the world and more importantly, love for his nation. He loves the Fire Nation. So much so that he is willing to defect, betray the state, become a fugitive, and fraternize with the enemy to get his nation back on track. He reconnects with the dragons and the true nature of fire. He even, briefly, accepts that his uncle would be a better option for Fire Lord.

It is only when Iroh says it... "An idealist with unquestionable honor."

Zuko challenges his sister head-on with Katara's help. He takes the throne back. There is a pattern within the characters of this show...

Katara knew she wanted to be a waterbending master. Sokka knew he wanted to be a warrior. Toph knew she was the best earthbender in the world and she wanted the freedom to be her true self. Aang knew he wanted retain his innocence. Iroh knew he wanted to take Ba Sing Se. Zuko knew he wanted to be Fire Lord.

However, for our grayer characters, how that presented itself was different. Iroh got to retake Ba Sing Se, liberating it from the Fire Nation for the Earth Kingdom.

It was only after Zuko accepted his true self - an idealist with a big heart, fierce determination, and unquestionable honor - that he was able to get what he always wanted. It was only when he was able to answer those questions that he truly became...

A man

2) Elsa, the Fifth Spirit

Who are you?

And what do you want?

FREEDOM

Was that big enough? I start with this because Elsa has been trapped in cage after cage her entire life. Mostly mental ones! Fear can be a really dehumanizing experience when it is your constant companion every waking moment of your life.

Elsa's journey over F1 and F2 can be seen as her entering adulthood. She is royalty with the power of a goddess. Someone like her cannot afford to be timid. At least, not her whole life.

She went from being very confident in her power to Scared of her magic to the point where she couldn't control it to Simultaneously gorgeously proud of it and bringer of (accidental) deadly eternal winter at the same time to Sisterless to A second chance with her sister that thawed through everything holding Elsa back

The freedom came from letting the love back in. She was liberated. But not completely.

Which brings us to F2

Elsa has this raw force of nature inside of her and she is... running a kingdom? Overseeing trade agreements? Talking with dignitaries?

Elsa has this raw force of nature inside of her... and she is using it to make toys for the children of her kingdom

Elsa isn't ungrateful by any means... but she has a this raw force of nature inside of her. Could this... could this really be it?

Obviously, not.

Elsa, at this point, can answer: Who are you?

F2, however, is her answering the question: What do you want?

Up until now, she has done everything for everyone else. Every choice she makes was for her parents, her kingdom, her sister but never her.

But she chased that voice, awoke the spirits of the Enchanted Forest, journeyed there, made the promise to the Northuldra, pushed Anna away, fought the spirits including Nokk, made her way to Ahtohallan, embraced her role as the Fifth Spirit, and jump down deep into her sound because she wanted to.

The movie didn't get this deep into it, but Elsa was chasing so damn hard because this was it! This was going to explain everything! This is where she is meant to be! The spirits, the people, the magic, the mythos, the nature, it's all her!

My magic can feel it. I can feel it.

You remember this scene?

Elsa returns and despite the fact that she had died, she was completely at peace. She was at peace, calm, wise, happy, and was able to explain everything to Anna without a single tremble.

In this case, Elsa's authenticity and intuition were the same. What she wanted was also what she had always been - The Fifth Spirit.

She only became who she truly is when she finally allowed herself to answer the question: What do you want?

3) Queen Anna of Arendelle

An even better example

Who are you?

And what do you want?

At the beginning of this saga, neither sister could answer either question. However, by the end of F1, Anna made herself incredibly clear:

That bitch is love.

She is loving. She has the biggest heart out of anyone you will ever meet and it will never stop giving.

However, in F2, Anna was very resistant to change. Elsa ran straight into it and died. However, Anna arguably had the more painful experience. She lost two members of her family only hours after finding the lost ship of her parents. Kristoff was all she had left.

She was effectively the Queen of Arendelle when Elsa died.

She got the role of a lifetime... because her sister died.

Her face just before she realizes there is a snowflake around her... that would have been her attitude for the rest of her life.

However, this girl's love could hold up the world. Up until this point, her sister had been queen. Anna loves her sister, her family, all of Arendelle. Her love is so big that she saved everyone in the first movie in one fell-swoop.

She can answer: What do you want?

She never answered: Who are you?

Because Anna loves. She is love. That is who she is. Being the Queen of Arendelle was nothing she ever really imagined being (in the final cut, anyway).

She has no idea that she can lead. She led the journey to the top of the North Mountain. She led Arendelle to seek Hans' aid during the winter (which despite his evilness... turned out to be a good move in the short-term??). She made the executive decision to protect her sister instead of seek Kristoff's true love's kiss for herself.

She asserted herself as a companion on the journey to the Enchanted Forest. She kept reminding Elsa of the pragmatics of the situation. She comforted Elsa in her time of need. She strategically saved her and Olaf from the giants. She was able to read Elsa's message. She led the giants to destroy the damn and recruited the Arendelle guard to join her in that cause. She freed the forest. And she established that statue of her parents in Arendelle.

Anna is decisive, bold, smart, and tenacious. However, her heart is too big for her to have a little ambition.

It took the spirits, this journey, and her sister to push her to where she really belonged. Before, she was still a girl. Her sister was playing at being a woman and Anna helped. However, Anna's true womanhood of unconditional love, decisive leadership, and partnership with her sister could only truly thrive if she was on equal footing with her sister.

If she was on equal footing with the size of her own heart.

4) Persephone, Goddess of Spring & Queen of the Underworld

The myth of Persephone is, in my opinion, pretty convincingly surrounding around this very theme.

From a purely academic standpoint, Persephone is a victim. She was taken from the safe arms of her mother and forced against her will into the underworld below. She was raped and forced into a role she never asked for.

From a purely academic standpoint, we never get Persephone's perspective on this myth.

From a purely academic standpoint, the nature of the Hellenic gods line up with their sphere of influence.

Which means, as Goddess of Spring and Queen of the Underworld... Persephone is both life and death. She is both rebirth and decay. She is the bridge between these two states and she experiences them herself every year as the seasons turn.

Modern interpretations of the myth present a different perspective: Persephone was taken into her underworld. Her subconscious. The parts of her that had gone rejected, denied, and repressed. The part of that, as a goddess of vegetation, would have been denied.

Persephone was Kore, first. She was Kore, the Goddess of Spring. She had that title before she ever became Queen. If spring existed, that means the idea of "rebirth" existed. Which means Kore was aware that there was a stage that came before rebirth.

That being... decay and death.

Her descent into the underworld, perhaps, was her having to acknowledge this part of her. She was close with her mother, but her mother is nourishment and life. She brings food to the people of Greece. She cannot possibly have a daughter who dishes out death.

Who are you?

And what do you want?

Oof oof oof. Can you imagine her having to answer these questions? It's like acknowledging you are autistic or queer or mentally ill or trans in a community that sees all these things as terrible or bad or dangerous or rejectable. In order for Kore to survive with her mother and their devotees, she had to repress this side of herself.

That is why, in her "coming of age," it was so damn painful. As if it was... akin to rape. Kore can't be a spirit, a god, and do her duty if she is not in full acceptance of her power and her duty. Athena, Artemis, and Hestia took vows of virginity. Hera never leaves Zeus no matter what he does. Demeter left Olympus. Aphrodite is shameless in everything she does. They all had to do something to be their true, divine selves.

Perhaps that thing was her descent into the underworld. You must enter the realm of the dead to understand what it means to be a goddess of dead things.

Down there, she was forced to answer: Who are you? And what do you want?

Leading me to believe that when she rose again, it was not just because of Demeter's power and Zeus relenting. Persephone chose to rise again as Goddess of Spring & Queen of the Underworld.

She was no longer just her mother's daughter. She was not just the Wife of Hades. She was a goddess in her own right.

Who are you? The cycle of life and death. Goddess of Spring & Queen of the Underworld.

What do you want? Acknowledgement, reverence, acceptance. From everyone. Including herself.

It took answering those questions for Kore to turn into Persephone. To enter adulthood. To become a woman. I have no doubt it was painful.

And she became who she was meant to be.

Conclusion:

I, myself, have real life experience with this. The only way I was able to succeed in life with the happiness I wanted was to start advocating for myself. The problem with relying too much on other people's input, is that it can put you in really shitty situations. Adulthood is serious sometimes. It is not supposed to be soul-crushing. In my opinion, real adulthood is finally having the freedom to make your own decisions on your terms. Reaching adulthood, manhood, womanhood... is when you finally realize you have that freedom.

There is nothing anybody can do about it.

#essays #analysis #my analysis #storytelling #greek mythology #avatar the last airbender #frozen #frozen 2 #Youtube

[livwritesfics]

𝐀 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑

𝐀 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 - livwritesfics - One Piece (Anime & Manga) [Archive of Our Own]

𝟏𝟎 𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐀𝐖𝐋𝐔 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 - 𝐀 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 - Wattpad

Law was walking Luffy home like he does every day. They've been dating for about a year now, still going strong. As they walked home from East Blue High, the aura was silent and worrisome.

Why? Because Luffy made the bold decision to come out to his older brothers when he got home. Law was already out to his dad and had met Luffy a year ago when they first started dating. As the end of high school was around the corner, and Law was going to New World University soon, Luffy only thought it would be fair to tell his brothers. He doesn't want to hide his relationship from his brothers anymore. He can't hide forever.

As the young couple stopped in front of Luffy's house, Law turned to face Luffy. He grabbed both of his hands and laced their fingers together, forever connected.

"Now remember, no matter what they say, no matter what they do, you are you. And I love you. Call me as soon as you tell them okay? Promise?" Law was just as worried as his partner. Coming out was dangerous. You could never know for sure how people will react. You think you know who they are but then you tell them and everything turned out the opposite of your perspective. It happened when Law came out. His dad was understanding and supported him unconditionally. However, his uncle, Doflamingo, was not supportive at all. He hasn't seen his uncle since he was fifteen because of that.

"I promise Torao," he stood on his tippy-toes and hugged his boyfriend "Thank you for comforting me" He kissed Law on the forehead.

They stood there in each other's arms for a minute longer until Luffy broke the silence. "Okay, I'm off. I'll call you as soon as I tell them, I promise."

"Love you." Law gave a quick peck on the lips and let go of Luffy's hands.

"Love you too!"

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When Luffy walked into his house, Sabo and Ace were already home from work. Sabo in the kitchen and Ace in the living room.

"Hey Lu welcome home!" Sabo hollered from the kitchen. "Want a snack? I'm cutting up some apple slices!"

"Yeah! Thanks Bo!" He yelled back as he took off his shoes. "Hey Sabo, Ace, can we talk?"

Silence.

Ace turned off the television and gave him all the attention in the world, "Of course Lu! What about?"

Sabo joined them with apple slices and sat down on the couch. Luffy took a chair and sat in front of them. He played with his hands a bit. All this attention he was getting from his brothers was a bit overwhelming to say the least.

He cleared his throat, "Um, I wanted to tell you that I'm pansexual... and I have a boyfriend!"

When none of his brothers said anything or made any movement Luffy mocked them jokingly, "Gasp! What! Our brother is grown up already?!"

Suddenly, he got very worried by the silence he was receiving. Are they mad at me? Should I run? Why aren't they responding?

"Get out." Ace snapped at him, his eyes flaming with anger and shame.

"What?" Luffy muttered, his hands starting to shake. This can't be happening! This has to be a dream!

"You heard him," Luffy turned towards his other brother, Sabo. "It's unnatural. It's wrong. Do as your former brother says and get out." Sabo had the same fire in his eyes as Ace did. Angry. Hateful. Shameful.

"Former?" Luffy whispered, his eyes filling up with tears. I'm not their brother anymore? They're getting rid of me already?

Almost as Ace heard his thoughts he stood up and yelled, "Get out! I told you already! Like Sabo said, you aren't our brother anymore, so scram!"

Luffy was so shocked that he couldn't move. "Do I have to beat it into you?" Ace shouted again, raising a hand up.

*Whack!*

Instantly, the youngest brother was on the floor, a red hand print on his face. Ace hit him. Ace never hit him. They really do hate me.

Trying to choke back a sob, Luffy ran up the stairs to his room. He started throwing his stuff in his duffel bag. This was wrong, I should've never came out. I ruined everything.

He let out a sob.

"Shut up!" Ace screamed. "I don't want to hear you make your pathetic noises. You really are a f*****!" Luffy slapped a hand over his mouth to stifle out his cries.

He hurried up and packed everything. He reached out to pack his scrapbook. His scrapbook of him and his brothers. All of their memories together. All a lie. They didn't really love him.

If they did then they would've been okay with me being me. At least Law loves me.

He decided against bringing his scrapbook. He made sure not to forget anything. This would be the last time he came here. The last time he called this house a home.

He escaped through his bedroom window, climbing down a tree. He always used to sneak off with Law this way. Or coming back home late.

This would be his final time.

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Law heard a loud banging coming from his door. Strange, he wasn't expecting anyone.

"Law, could you get that please?" Cora yelled from the kitchen, he was trying to make onigiri without burning himself but was failing miserably.

"Sure thing" Law got up and walked over to the door. When he opened the door he got the shock of his life.

His boyfriend was crying in the rain with a bag around him.

He immediately took his crying lover out of the rain and into his house. Luffy was still crying when Law gave him a hug.

"I-I-I'm sorryyyyyyy. I ha-had nowhere to gooo!" Luffy sobbed into his shirt.

Law hadn't been more angry in his life. "They kicked you out?!" he shrieked. He tightened his grip on Luffy and whispered in his ear. His brothers just abandoned him, he had no home now. Nowhere to go in this big city. Sure, he could go to the North Blue Orphanage. He was still seventeen after all! But he couldn't do that to his boyfriend. He won't leave him like his own family had done to him.

"It's okay. We're gonna work this out, just like everything we do, we'll work this out together."

Luffy sobbed, "I love you" he whimpered, his grip still strong. Law kissed the crown of his head. "Love you too sweetheart." He murmured back.

Law let go of his and just as he was holding his face, about to kiss his forehead, he noticed something. A bruise.

"Did he hit you?" Law seethed out. They hit him. They hit his one and only love. Law saw red.

Seeing his boyfriend's anger, Luffy tried to calm him, "Law, please, it's not that bad-"

"Not that bad?! He hit you!" Law shouted, throwing his hands up in the air.

The younger gasped and tried again, "Law please-"

"No! You let them step all over you! They don't get to-" Law stopped mid-sentence when he heard Cora walk into the room. Crap, I forgot he was home.

"Law, you're scaring him. He doesn't need to get yelled at right now." Cora-san soothed him, he put a hand on his son's shoulder. Law sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He opened his arms for Luffy to go into.

The shorter male started sobbing again and walked into his boyfriend's chest.

"I'm sorry. I'm just angry at them, not you. I love you, it's okay." He comforted his boyfriend. He picked him up and carried him over to the couch.

"Dad, can you please give us an icepack?" Law called out.

Cora left right away. "And don't forget about the stove! It's still on!" He reminded his father.

He turned back to his boyfriend who was still cuddled in his arms. He held him tightly and wrapped the blanket he was using around him. Law kept giving forehead kissed to Luffy and rubbed his arm up and down, up and down. Luffy was calming down, he had been so panicked over everything that it tired him out.

Cora handed Law the icepack and went back to the kitchen.

"What am I going to do Law? I don't know what I'm gonna do." He looked up at Law and whimpered. "I'm scared Law, I don't know what to do."

It broke Law's heart to see his boyfriend reduced to this. A crying, shaking mess. It made him want to beat his brothers up. But, he knew Luffy didn't need that right now. What he needed was his boyfriend's loving arms around him.

"You could stay here with me and my dad. I'm sure it won't be a problem." the older suggested, looking down at him.

"I shouldn't. It'd be too much. I-"

"Am always welcome." Cora finished. "My son is always welcome here. Both of them." he went to sit down next to Luffy.

"You're always welcome here Luffy, I support you and Law very much. Now, you are staying here. You can share Law's room as long as I don't hear any noises." he joked at the end.

"Dad!" Law snapped back at his father, burning like a red tomato. He pinched his nose bridge again shaking his head.

Luffy just laughed, "Thank you dad. Thank you so much! I'll even get a job too!"

"Oh no, you are too kind. See Law? You should take after him. You could learn something!" Law blushed even more as his boyfriend and his dad were bullying the crap out of him.

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Luffy did move in with Law and his father. Cora even signed the adoption papers! Luffy was now a part of their family. Law proposed after graduation too! The two of them lived with Cora until it was time for Law to go to university to study medicine. Luffy went with him and they both went to New World University together. Luffy wanted to study insects. A new chapter for everybody.

Ace and Sabo were not contacted at all during this development. They didn't bother to apologize to their youngest either.

Luffy didn't care. Yes, he did care in the beginning, but, that was an old chapter of his life. His new chapters did not involve them. He was on to live life happily.

With his father, with his boyfriend, with his friends, with himself.

@lawluevents

#lawlu #fanfics #lulaw #onepiece #ao3 #lawlu fanfic #lawluweek #trafalgar law #10 days of lawlu #10 days of lawlu 2023 #angst with a happy ending #fluff #one shot #homophobia

[breelandwalker]

From this post -

dr-auraturatus: This is such a beautiful sentiment. BUT the psychological model (ie that spirits are an extension or projection of the magician's mind) is very much not animist; rather it is quite the opposite. It is hard to validate & assuage someone of their anxieties when you start by telling them their spiritual perspective is fundamentally wrong.

Hi, I'm Bree and I'm a soft animist who would very much like my friends and neighbors, especially the newer witches that I've dedicated my time to teaching, to understand the difference between "This Seemingly Inanimate Object Can Possess Life / Spirit Energy" and "This Deck Of Cards Has The Same Level Of Sentience And Emotional Intelligence As A Human Being."

I made that particular post in an effort to combat an unfortunate trend (on tiktok, it's almost always on tiktok) whereby newer witches exploring divination are being told that if their tools don't work, it either means that they're just not Gifted enough to do the work, or that their tools are alive and actively sabotaging their efforts because of some unknown faux pas or contrarian whim.

Scare tactics like this are rampant in the witchcraft sector of social media, and it certainly doesn't help practitioners who are inexperienced, anxious, or uncertain to be told that if they don't do things Exactly Right, their tools will rebel against them, demons will invade their home, and random witches on the internet might decide to hex them for shits and giggles.

I also include discussions on mental health quite frequently in my talks on witchcraft, particularly as it applies to ADHD, depression, and anxiety. Something that I emphasize as part of building a healthy practice is understanding where the line is between believing in magic and magical thinking, and recognizing things like confirmation bias and the importance of nuance and putting things into context.

There is a vast yawning chasm of difference between "Please Be Sure To Self-Check For Anxiety, Consider Trying Again Later If Your Reading Isn't Working, Please Don't Buy Into Scare Tactics, Your Cards Don't Actually Hate You" and "Your Beliefs Are Bullshit."

Also, given that the general response to the post has largely been variations on the theme of Holy Shit I Needed To Hear This, I would wager both that my audience understood what I was saying and that it was something that needed to be said.

#witchblr #witchcraft #animism #And thank you I think it's a beautiful sentiment too :)

[the-spooky-alien]

Day 17 of Fictober !

Fandom : X-Files with the prompt "Are you serious ?"

Tagging @today-in-fic and @xffictober2022

-

''And no matter what you think, Diana's certainly not going to go around saying that just because science can't prove it it isn't true.''

She stopped breathing. Mulder couldn't have said that. She was hallucinating the whole interaction.

He didn't say that.

This was all coming from her tired brain. Born from the guilt of not having saved the young boy who trusted her.

Mulder didn't say that. He didn't just use her need for science as a weapon against her, against her faith in him.

He wouldn't do that.

''I don't doubt what you saw, Mulder,'' she said, trying to swallow the lump growing in her throat. ''I don't doubt you. I'm willing to believe, but not in a lie and not in the opposite of what I can prove. It comes down to a matter of trust.'' Mulder raised his eyes to meet hers, his face devoid of anything. She was reminded of his 'panic face' and wondered if he noticed he had a tendency to become expressionless everytime he was feeling too much. ''I guess it always has.''

His tone was oddly cold, echoing sharply through her own body, rippling against bones and tendons, hurting hurting hurting. ''You asking me to make a choice ?''

Are you serious ? Is it that much of a choice for you ?

''I'm asking you to trust my judgement.'' It was rising in her, burning in her eyes. It bubbled in her throat and tumbled out of her mouth, seeping in each of her words, desperation to be heard, to be seen. ''To trust me.''

The folder weighed a thousand pounds in her hand. She couldn't look away from his face, taking in every movement of his muscles, every glint of his eyes.

Mulder watched the folder and almost sneered, recoiling as if she was handing him a living snake. ''I can't accept that. Not if it refutes what I know to be true.''

Somehow, miraculously, she didn't shatter on the spot. Her eyes stayed mercyfully dry, her hands didn't tremble, her face didn't betray anything. She handled the rest of their conversation with precise explanations, wearing her doctor persona as a shield, refusing to even think about what he said. With single-minded focus, she guided him to her conclusion.

Inside, she felt numb.

She had thought... It didn't matter.

It didn't matter.

''Scully,'' Mulder called as she began to leave. She stopped at the door, turning slightly, if only to hide in the shadows of the room. Behind her, he cleared his throat. ''I'm... I'm sorry for what I said, I don't-''

''Don't.'' She didn't recognise her own voice, estranged from herself, coming from so deep inside her it sounded rough and hoarse. ''It's alright.'' It wasn't. It was unbearable. ''I understand.'' She didn't. They were friends, best friends. She had thought he would at least try to see things from her perspective.

She knew better now.

''Scully-''

''Good evening, Mulder.''

She left before he could say anything else, stumbling in the corridor like a dying woman, blinded by the agony of knowing she wasn't enough, would never be enough for him, no matter what he said.

Tears burned in her eyes until she went home, until she curled on her bed and wept, cradling her broken trust in her hands.

In her head, it played again and again.

Trust me, she had said, pleading, baring herself to him, trusting him to catch her at the end of her leap of faith.

Cold eyes who refused to look at her, too centered on their own pain to notice hers. Hands which did not reach for her, voice which turned away from her. I can't, he had replied.

#txf #dana scully #fox mulder #msr #fictober22 #xffictober2022 #this scene makes me so mad and sad #i can barely watch it without wanting to strangle Mulder #i hope you will still like it #and thank you for reading :)