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hale-13 · 3 years

Text

Hold Onto the Faith as I Dig Another Grave

By Hale13

For the Summer of Whump Day 6 - Buried Alive

He can’t do it.

There’s just no way he can do it.

He can feel the air thinning, his eyesight gets steadily darker, he can almost smell fresh tilled earth (a rarity in the middle of New York City) and this is it.

He’s going to die.

Words: 2031, Chapters: 1/1 (Complete), Language: English

Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Rating: Gen

Relationships: Peter Parker & Ned Leeds, Peter Parker & Michelle Jones, Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Parker, Ned Leeds, Michelle Jones, Tony Stark, Happy Hogan

TW: Absolutely none.

Read on AO3 or below the line break.

He can’t do it.

There’s just no way he can do it.

He can feel the air thinning, his eyesight gets steadily darker, he can almost smell fresh tilled earth (a rarity in the middle of New York City) and this is it.

He’s going to die.

“Could you be any more dramatic?” MJ asks from where she’s furiously typing into her laptop, he hair more frizzy than normal and her eyes pinched. Her usually unaffected demeanor is cracking a little at the edges and Peter has never seen her so frantic and disorganized – he feels a little bad about it.

“Seriously Peter,” Ned agrees from his section of the table where multi-colored index cards are scattered in a disorganized mess – he, too, looks on the verge of a breakdown but he’s not able to hide it as easily as Michelle – Ned always has worn his heart on his sleeve. “It’s your fault we waited until the last minute anyway,” his (now former – seriously Ned what the hell, how dare you) best friend accuses.

Peter just lets out a wounded animal noise as he edits his section of their PowerPoint, eyes nearly crossed he’s so close to the screen. Like that would help him edit any faster he thinks sardonically. “It’s not totally my fault,” he tried to rationalize.

“Yes it is,” MJ tells him bluntly, face buried in her over-highlighted notes on the vaccine apartheid in India and Africa for the comparative section of their presentation. “We could have been done weeks ago if you had actually come to the meetings we scheduled.”

“I came to the first one,” Peter protested, looking through his image folder for the proper photo for his slide – he had, at least, cropped and edited them all already so he had one less thing to do. “And besides, we divided the work up evenly – you didn’t even need me around to do your part.” He immediately flinched at the very clear ‘eat shit and die’ look Michelle gave him and murmured out a quick apology before ducking his head back into his work. Ned gave him a look of pity and a sad head shake, Peter just glared in response.

Ned bangs his head onto the table softly and moans. “Why do we always wait until the last minute? I hate waiting until the last minute.”

“Less whining, more writing,” Michelle says bluntly, adding a slide to the PowerPoint on their Google docs and making Peter groan. His job is to outline and find pictures, Michelle’s is to clean everything up and organize their presentation and Ned’s is to make sure that their presentation is cohesive and write out their speech. It’s a system that has, traditionally, worked well for them but this time may as well be a disaster. The only thing keeping them together at this point is MJ’s ruthless efficiency and Ned and Peter’s intense fear of failure.

“We were supposed to do this last week,” Ned continued, ignoring MJ’s order and then the kick she aimed as his shin; not even flinching at what was surely decent pain considering their friend had worn her Doc Marten’s to their meeting. “Why the hell did we let you cancel?”

“Because of that bank robbery remember?” Peter says, ignoring his own work for a second and risking MJ’s (well deserved not that he would admit it) wrath. “And then I got caught on patrol for a couple hours and then it was curfew.” He may have also been in the MedBay that night for a (minor) stab wound but he wasn’t telling them that – his friends worried enough about him as it was.

“Not that I necessarily support the police and the clear and rampant systemic racism of the entire system,” Michelle began, forcefully picking Ned’s head off the table and shoving a pen into his hands so he would continue working, “but that is their job. If we aren’t going to defund them the least they could do is handle a bank robbery.” This had been a frequent disagreement between the two of them for a while – MJ was one hundred percent correct in her viewpoint but Peter was a closet control freak who couldn’t leave well enough alone. They tried not to talk about it in polite conversation anymore.

“But there were hostages,” Peter whined, and there were. About twelve of them who all seemed more bored and annoyed than scared but that was the city for ya.

“And?” Michelle accused. “What do you think happened before you started running around in tights?”

“She has a point,” Ned said gently, organizing the index cards to be less chaotic.

Peter gave them both an irritated huff and muttered “They aren’t tights.”

“Spandex then,” Michelle said flippantly, waving her hand in his direction without looking up from her screen. Peter rolled his eyes.

“Well the next time we have a group project I’ll just send out a nice tweet asking all the criminals and muggers to put their crime on hold so I can do my homework,” Peter huffed sarcastically but without any real heat.

“If you wouldn’t mind,” Ned said, sounding relieved and Peter rolled his eyes again but got back to work. He was only on slide thirteen of twenty-five and, at the rate MJ was adding pages, he’d never finish. They worked in silence for a while, only breaking it to ask murmured questions before, finally, MJ snapped her laptop shut.

“Well if its not done at this point its not ever going to be,” she stated causing Ned to drop his pen and massage his cramping hand and Peter to let his head fall to the table in relief with a moan – his head was starting to throb and the words on his computer were swimming in front of his eyes. “Let’s try to get to school early tomorrow to do a couple run throughs before the presentation.” Peter glanced at the clock on the library wall and groaned, receiving a conciliatory pat on the back from Ned – he still had a ton of homework to get through before he could even think about sleeping.

“Want a ride home?” Ned asked a few minutes later when they were standing on the steps in front of the library. MJ’s mom had already been waiting when they stepped outside leaving just Ned and Peter to wait on Ned’s older sister.

“Nah,” Peter said, adjusting his too heavy backpack and rocking back on his heels. “Think I might swing home, just a quick patrol you know?”

The look Ned gave him was skeptical and disapproving but Peter chose to ignore it. He wouldn’t be out long anyway – just a quick run through the areas he knew were a problem and then home. Faster than the subway for sure. “Fine,” Ned grunted, thankfully holding in his opinion. “But you should go ahead and go before my sister gets here and insists on driving you,” Ned indicated to his tracking app, showing his sister only a few minutes away.

“Thanks man,” Peter said, initiating their handshake and trotting off around the corner to find a suitable alley to change in.

—————————————————

Three hours later, Peter fell through the window of his bedroom, collapsing on the floor and pulling his mask off. His hair was limp and sweaty where it clung to his head and his headache from earlier had gotten worse – the throbbing elevating up to a stabbing behind his eyes.

“One minute,” he told himself, panting and draping his elbow over his eyes. “You can have one minute and then you have work to do.”

“Talking to yourself?”

Peter jumped up, banging his head on the side of his bed with a wince, causing his vision to grey out a little and falling back on the floor to stare dazedly at the ceiling. Tony leaned over him to block his view, his expression mixed between humor and pity as Peter groaned and squeezed his eyes shut. “Don’t scare me like that!”

“Thought you had a tingle?” Tony teased, grabbing Peter’s hand and pulling him up to sit propped against the wall, ignoring the glare Peter shot him. “You’re lucky May’s working tonight.”

“Yeah I know,” Peter admitted. He was over two hours late for his midnight curfew and, if May had been home and not working in the ER, she would have skinned him alive and then grounded him for the foreseeable future.

“You’re even more lucky I covered for your scrawny spider ass and told her you were staying at the Tower tonight,” Tony said smugly, gesturing to the overnight bag that he had clearly packed for Peter. “Go ahead and change, you can shower once we get back to the Penthouse. You got everything you need for school?”

“Yeah,” Peter confirmed, stripping off the suit and pulling on an old pair of sweats and the t-shirt he had worn to school earlier. Changed and stumbling, he followed his mentor down to the town car that was waiting in front of the door to his apartment, crawling into the back seat and resting his aching head against the window; ignoring Happy’s tired look of disapproval in the rear view mirror.

“So,” Tony began, sitting across from him to make better eye contact. “Want to tell me why you’re out so late?”

“Well I was at the library with Ned and MJ working on a project for biology until about eleven-,”

“Why so late?” Tony interrupted, brows furrowed in thought. Peter bit his lip and averted his eyes and Tony nodded in understanding. “So you procrastinated until the last minute.”

“Maybe,” Peter conceded, eyes darting over to his bag and lingering for a second. Tony clocked the movement and let out a long suffering sigh, massaging his eyes with the thumb and forefinger on his right hand and grimacing .

“How much more do you have?”

“Uh…,” Peter squeaked out. “Just… just two problem sets in physics, one in calculus and five chapters of Jane Eyre to read.” Easily three to four hours of work and Peter was starting to feel buried and suffocated under the course load, his muscles started to tremble at the impending exhaustion he would be feeling the next day on little to no sleep.

Tony gave him a look of commiseration before asking “And when is all of this due?”

“The presentation is my last period of the day, right after lunch,” Peter answered. “Everything else is due in the morning.” Tony studied him for a moment before sighing.

“Here’s the offer: you go back to the Penthouse, take a shower and go to bed,” he held up a hand to halt Peter’s protest, “and I’ll tell May you have, what I assume to be, the start of a migraine,” Peter’s hand reached up subconsciously to rub his temple under his mentor’s knowing look. “She can call you out of school and I’ll take you at lunch so you don’t miss your presentation then you have all weekend to stick your nose in a book while I do some suit modifications. Square deal?”

Peter let out a sigh of relief and melted into the soft leather, nodding. “Deal.”

The rest of the ride was silent and Peter dozed until he was urged out of the car and into the elevator. Once they reached the Penthouse, Tony relieved him of his book bag and passed over the duffle he had packed, Peter not even bothering to put up a token protest as he was shoo’ed in the direction of his room. He pulled out his phone to text his group chat with Ned and MJ and saw that he already had a message waiting.

About thirty minutes before, MJ had sent a screenshot of the SpideyWatch twitter page that had a clear picture of him stopping a mugging just before he got home. The text under it said ‘see you at lunch for a practice run’ and Peter smiled a little, chest warm, as he sent the thumbs up emoji and tossed his phone onto his bed; he was looking forward to a scalding shower and eight hours of uninterrupted blissful sleep.

#summerofwhump #summerofwhump6 #summer of whump 2021 #Prompt: Buried Alive #spiderman #irondad

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kookiepalette · 3 years

Text

Geography Progect (Pt.1)

pairing(s): min yoongi x reader

summary: everyone has that one class that they hated the most and there was nothing in the world that could make that person like it. it was like a pain in the ass that wouldn’t just go away.

geography was that pain in the ass for y/n as it was a requirement for the junior to graduate the next academic year. with the help of her crush and countless of youtube videos, maybe geography wasn’t so bad after all.

word count: just over 3k

warning(s)/tag(s): love, pinning, one-sided, two sided, romance, procrastination, mean professors

______________

Starring at the mouth of the professor who just went on and on about the creation of rocks, Y/N sighed into the palm of her hands, wondering what she did to deserve this type of punishment.

This wasn't the first time that Geography was becoming a bore to her as time ticked on and her eye lids were becoming heavier, and it certainly would not be the last time she experienced it.

The class did not spark anything within her tired body and Y/N dreaded waking up on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and pushing herself to be in her seat by 9:00 am, with at least something to take her notes on.

Looking down at the bareness of the first page of the designated notebook for the class, it was going on the third week of school and she still did not have any notes written down. It was a shame to say, but there was no motivation whatsoever on her part.

Every week since the semester started, she promised herself that she wouldn't slack off like she did the prior semester, but once she took a seat in her unassigned, but assigned seat, it was already game over.

This class was basically a bore to her and just another requirement for her to graduate on time.

If she could, she would have dropped the class in a heartbeat, but that would mean that she would have to take Astrology instead, and trust and believe, she didn't want to have that class either.

Why in the fuck did she had to learn about streaming discharge when ultimately she wanted to be a elementary school teacher? It did not make any sense to her, but then again, a lot of things was questionable in her mind.

Having that thought of leaving this forsaken place that she paid thousands of dollars for to a classroom that was hers, but filled with eager learning children, made her heart swell.

Matter of factly, the thought made somewhat of an impact on the young woman as she grabbed a pencil from her pencil pouch that resembled a panda and wrote down the last sentence of the slide before the professor went on to the next topic of today's discussion.

Of course, that determination only lasted for about a minute before the pencil once again found its home in the pencil pouch and that one sentence was all she wrote on that piece of notebook paper.

Focusing her attention back of the movements of Mr. Jackson, he was the epitome of a boring person. Having a pair of slacks as choice of style and a white buttoned down to compliment it with, that was what he wore every time she visited his classroom. There was never a different color shirt or even a pair of jeans whatsoever.

The gray-haired geography teacher never knew how to change it up and the colorful Y/N was frustrated.

Did he not have a wife or a husband to tell him to add some colorfulness into his wardrobe?

Sighing again for the umpteenth time today, Y/N moved her wondering eyes from the aging professor to different spots around the lecture room where other students made the cut of waking up this morning and having the energy to be present for today's class time.

Watching as some held pens in their mouths, listening actively to what the old man had to say, others were typing furiously on their laptops as they didn't want to miss anything for the upcoming exam that was in two weeks.

Which that reminds Y/N. She mentally made a note in her head that as soon as this class was over, she needed to go to the library and watch YouTube videos on Geography to ace her first exam this semester.

And lastly, there were students like her that wasn't paying any attention to the man who never sat down to teach, but just watch the clock above his head mocking them as it was ticking by slower than usual.

It was only Monday and those students, just like Y/N, wanted to call it a day and do nothing else that was deemed productive.

Drumming her painted fingers that were starting to chip on the table in front of her and keeping a hand on her chin, her tired eyes finally found what they were looking for, and the fire inside her cheeks could not stop spreading.

That something or that person rather, was no other than Min Yoongi and there was not a day that goes by that Y/N did not think about this man and what he brought to the table.

The way he tapped his pen on his composition notebook when he was also bored or to they way he puffed his cheeks when he wasn't done writing down the notes from the slide, but the professor only speeding to the next topic to fit everything in during class time, was fascinating to her.

She wouldn't say that she was in love with the dark-haired, browned eye man.

But she couldn't deny the jump in her chest when he was in her presence.

Taking in his appearance and what he wore that day, Y/N could only spread her lips at the figure below her.

The slender man wore a somewhat oversized brown sweater and paired it off with some dark jeans. With the countless of earrings taking a seat in the different holes in his ears to the Chelsea boots gracing his feet, who couldn't take note and at it to their Pintrest board later on?

It was simple outfit to say the least, but the way that he wore it and because it was Min Yoongi, it was the best outfit that anyone could have created.

And please don't let her get started on that hair of his.

It was back to his original black state at it has been blonde for the last couple of weeks, but the way he ran his slender fingers through it to create a disheveled look, made it so much more attractive.

But shit, anything he wore was attractive in the eyes of Y/N and she only had feelings for this man ever since this class started and that was three weeks ago.

She has been at the University of Stalworth for three years now and not once did she have to privileged of having this man grace her presence not once and she was still flabbergasted.

Feeling someone starring at the black of his head, Yoongi turned his hunched figure slightly to catch they eyes of that said person, but he cocked his head to the side as he was only met with his classmates focusing their attention to the lecture at hand.

Shaking his head while frowning, Yoongi turned around and focused back on writing notes to pass the time.

Feeling her heart petter patter at almost getting caught starring, Y/N thanked her quick reflexes as she focused her attention back on the man that was twice her age.

She really had it bad for the man that never said a word to her, but of course, she knew that this was only a crush that will probably disappear with time, just like the other ones that she had in the past.

Shrugging her shoulders at the thought of another crush being added to her list and nothing ever happening with any of them, Y/N new she was destined to live the rest of her life teaching and coming home to millions of cats waiting for her at her doorsteps.

And the worst part of that though that came crashing into her head at this time of day is that the fucking cats would probably not be happy to have her home, but more mad that she was invading their space!

As if they were paying the rent for her apartment and not her!

But now thinking about it as she cocked her head to side and actually thought about it.

How much would it cost to have that many cats in one apartment?

The cat that she already had cost her an arm and a leg every month! What about a hundred of those pesky little things?

Just thinking about it made her want to try even harder in life to not be in that situation no time soon.

Just a couple of years at least.

"Miss Y/LN?" Mr. Jackson stopped his lecture and looked up a few rows of the hall and made eye contact to the person that was interrupting his teaching. "Is there something more interesting at the back of Mr. Min's head than listening to something that will benefit your grade?"

Blinking her eyes as if she was waking up from a trance, Y/N was confused as she heard her name coming from the older man's mouth as he tapped his foot as if he was for her to say something.

"Sir?" Y/N asked in confusion as her voice rose a few octaves than it normal was.

Why was he coming for her when she did not do anything to be a distraction to this class?

"Once again, is there something more important on Min Yoongi's head than what is on my PowerPoint because if it is, I would certainly like to know," Mr. Jackson gave the disbelief girl a pointed look as a frown made its way to his wrinkled mouth.

Inwardly, Y/N wanted to shrink herself as tiny as possible as she was being called out in front of the whole class.

And shit, it did not make it any better that everyone had their eyes glued to her face, including the Min Yoongi.

Now he most definitely knew that she was a fucking creep to stare at him so openly and she could not wait to end back at home and drown in her misery.

More specifically with a carton of Ben and Jerry that was sitting in the back of refrigerator waiting to be eaten.

"No sir," Y/N finally broke the deadly silence as everyone in the room was waiting for her to answer. "There's nothing more interesting than your lecture," she finished off as she downcast her gaze with shame spreading throughout her body like wildfire.

"Well, I would like to think so as well," Mr Jackson shook his head at the young child before clicking his clicker to the next slide which so happens to be the last one for the day. "Please do not let it happen again Miss Y/L/N. I do not want it to become a reflection of your grade."

"Yessir," Y/N could only squeak out as she was beyond embarrassed.

This was a blow to her self-esteem and how could she ultimately rebound from this?

The snickers from the people beside her made her ears ring and it didn't make it any better that the stolen glance she made at Yoongi was the final nail in the coffin.

Seeing the ghostly smile tainted his pink lips as if he was enjoying the scene that played out in front of him as well, Y/N knew that that one carton of ice-cream waiting for her at home would not be enough to drown her misery away.

She most definitively needed more than three and that was just being generous.

......

Pulling the pink bubble jacket with one of her cold hands and grasping the now lukewarm coffee in the other one, Y/N cursed herself for deciding that today was the day to get out of the comfort of her bed and be productive today.

Of course, every day was supposed to be a productivity day, but when the weather app on her phone says a ninety percent chance of snow for the entire day and as well as for tomorrow, her body wanted to go back to sleep.

That meant nobody was in her presence at any time of the day and she could be comfortable in her own home.

Away from wandering eyes and the likes of others.

Finding where she wanted to spend the next couple of hours at, Y/N sat down her things and pulled the coat that was a Christmas present from her grandma years back. She knew that the quicker she get started, the quicker she would be done for the day.

Plopping down in one of the library's chairs with and uncomfortable grunt, Y/N should have recommended the university to put more money into the well-being of its students and not into the pockets of the higher ups.

But who was she exactly?

She was just a student just getting by, paying thirty thousand a year to get an education for the job she wanted to do for the rest of her life.

Getting past the hardness of her seat and the way the air conditioning in the building had her fingers trembling, Y/N turned on the computer to jump start her studying for the day.

Despite not wanting to do nothing on this Tuesday afternoon, she knew she needed to prove to that stinking professor that she was allowed to not do anything as long as her grades were high enough to do just that.

Typing into the engine bar on YouTube, Y/N could not stop herself from rolling her eyes at what she was typing.

Remembering the debacle she had to face in yesterday's class made her shudder in annoyance, and trust her, it wasn't from the below freezing temperature that she was currently stuck in.

Grabbing more ice-cream from the convenient store that was in route of her apartment and creating a safety net in her full size bed, Y/N truly kept to her word as she ate in misery.

Again, how would she know that daydreaming about anything and everything was not only going to get her in trouble with a certain individual that should not be named, but as well as called out in front of her newfound crush.

How embarrassing could her life get, knowing that Min Yoongi knew she was starring at him like he was the last piece of meat in a scarcity world.

"Fuck my life," she huffed as she clicked on the first video that hopefully would give her answer on the different glacial landforms on the North America continent.

Plugging her earphones into the computer and shoving them into both of her ears, Y/N could already feel the drowsiness over washing her.

Poking her lips out and focusing on the countless of videos that played after one other, Y/N felt more confident on what was going on in one of her classes now.

Who knew that the Green brothers with CrashCourse was going to be the answer to some of her problems?

Writing down the necessary things--well what she thought was important--and highlighting the main points, the notebook that once had just a sentence, was now looking more like a textbook.

Of course, as time went on and her handwriting was turning into chicken scratch, the snow outside was becoming heavier and as well as the sky becoming darker.

But that did not stop the determined woman. There are not a lot of times where Y/N had this energy to take notes, but when she did, she wanted to get the most out of it.

Ending a sentence with a period and stopping the video before autoplay went to the next one, Y/N decided that it was break time, and took the last sip of the now cold coffee.

Cracking her fingers and giving her body a much needed stretch, there was time for her to check her emails before finishing strong with her notes for today.

Clicking the email logo and waiting for it to load, Y/N sighed in tiredness as she could already feel her bed calling her name.

"Let's do this for a couple of more hours and when can head home," Y/N spoke to herself as if she was talking to a child.

That was the motivation for her and it always led to positive things in the past, but when her email loaded, all she could do was close her eyes and pray that this semester would not be her downfall.

The very first message that was on top of the food chain and waiting for her to open it, was no other than an announcement from Mr. Jackson, the devil himself.

Forcing down the insults that she wanted to scream from the top of her lungs to the pit of her stomach, Y/N clicked on it, knowing there was bound to be some bullshit spewing from his side of things.

Dear GY 103-011 students,

I hope all is well and you're guys are staying safe in this inclement weather. Per syllabus, this class has a project coming up that will be considered the first exam of this semester. I am reminding all of you now as the exam date is only two weeks away.

What the project is and based on is included in the link attached at end of this email. Because I am a nice professor, I am willing to let you guys work by yourself or with partners. Just to keep in mind, everyone should participate and I will know if it is last minute and or you didn't contribute at all.

Again, please stay safe as we are in the middle of bad weather and hopefully to see you guys tomorrow.

-Mr. Jackson.

Rereading the email over and over again, Y/N was somewhat content with having a project instead of an exam that was on paper. After realizing that she suffered from test anxiety after fainting during her ACT exam in high school, she always was thankful when she didn't have to take one.

Licking her chapped lips as she click on the link that told her the specifics of the project, the thankfulness for Mr. Jackson was starting to dwindle down once again as she read what she had to do to get a good marking on her first attempt of this class.

As clear as day, the project was basically collecting different types of soil around campus and determining what its type, its origin, and many other things that made Y/N more confused on everything.

Before this class, there was not a time that she thought that her small town, let along the world, had different types of fucking dirt.

Quickly reading the last part of the pdf, Y/N could only groan as the final thing to do was to write a lab report for her findings.

Remembering that all hope wasn't lost as she remembered the email, Y/N pulled her phone from her backpack and clicked on the GroupMe app for the class that was overtaking her simple life.

Typing into the chat, Y/N hoped someone in the class wanted to be her partner, and as well as teach her the different types of soil.

This wasn't a feat she wouldn't like to conquer herself and she was going to need someone to help her as well.

Not getting a response from anyone after awhile, Y/N just knew she was doomed from the start.

Knowing that she had her high school picture as her profile, they probably didn't want to work with her, knowing she like to stare at people.

Frowning at the words forming in her mind, Y/N decided that she needed extra time before going back to writing notes or starting on this project on her.

Typing in 'Funny Videos of Agust D in America" was the first thing she put in the search engine as she wanted to feel better and not cry in the middle of a library that barely no one used.

Before she could click on the video that she never seen, Y/N perked up when two GroupMe notifications popped up on her phone's screen.

Seeing that someone named Suga liked her message in the chat, Y/N could not help the smile forming on her face as he sent a private message as well.

SUGA: I saw that you're looking for a partner for the project and I was wondering if we could be partners.

SUGA: I also do not know shit about soil so I need help.

Hovering over her keyboard as she didn't know what to type exactly, Y/N was in the same predicament that he was in.

Y/N Y/L/N: What if I told you that I do not know anything about soil either?

SUGA: Well...

SUGA: Let's struggle together then.

Feeling like some type of weight has been lifted off of her shoulders, Y/N was glad that this person wanted to go with war with her.

Realizing that she didn't even know what this person looked like as their profile picture only showcased a cute, fluffy dog, Y/N wanted to know who was this person that she signed herself up to be partners with.

Not even wanting to delay anything, Y/N needed to finish the introductions and get started with this project.

Y/N Y/L/N: If you don't mind me asking, what's your name or is Suga your real name?

Waiting for the response to her question, Y/N decided to watch a funny video of her favorite artist.

Not even one minute into the video that she had gotten a reply and Y/N was ready to put a name to this mystery person.

SUGA: I'm the one that has the back of the head that you kept starring at in yesterday's class.

Dropping her phone onto the table and causing a loud thud that could be heard throughout the quiet room, Y/N could honestly say that her hear dropped to the bottom of her ass.

"Fuck my life," she mumbled to herself as she hit her forehead in annoyance.

How was she going to do a project with him when she can't even look him in the eyes.

But then again, she never had a one-on-one conversation with him to know that, but Hell, you get the point.

She was going to make herself look weirder without even trying around him and there was not enough Ben and Jerry's to go around for that.

Not at all.

#min yoongi #suga #agustd #preferences #imagines #romance #bts fic #bts suga #bts yoongi #Drabble #bts x reader

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fuckingrealityshifting · 3 years

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Dude I did the head banging too!!! It made my parents rlly considered and yet they didn't realize I'm autistic until this year. The problems of being AFAB

Oh also that last ask from like 5 seconds ago, wasn't me saying you might have autism I'm just going "oh mood"

It’s kind of a funny story bc I did depthy research into autism because of an autistic main character I was writing, identified with enough of the symptoms to be concerning but it wasn’t quite right, and I already knew ADHD overlapped a lot, and then I just shoved it away into the back of my mind and didn’t acknowledge it for like.... a year LMFAO

When ADHD posts started popping up a lot during quarantine and with nothing but time to be alone with myself, I finally realized, “wait a minute. oh shit, that sounds like me.” and then I did a lot of research and identified more and it was like the “(chuckles) I’m in danger” meme

I don’t think I have autism because I don’t have the intense sensory issues that present more with autism, but I do think I have ADHD because it feels right in all the places autism didn’t and explains everything better as I think that’s more of a dopamine-based disorder? I don’t know how to explain it because someone else did and they did a really good job and I barely remember it lmfao like while autism is more sensory based ADHD is more like dopamine regulation

Lmfaoo I don’t think my parents are ever gonna realize because:

I visibly stim in front of them, almost constantly with quarantine (with arm shaking my mom asks me if I have Parkinson’s, I once did this idk arm flapping thing in front of my mom while crying after a family fight, and I pace specifically in a circle at literally any given opportunity I ate my breakfast doing that multiple times)

I openly have memory issues (I try to explain my memory is bad except for inconsequential details and they seem to keep under the impression it’s good because of those random details I remember)

They know I procrastinate badly

And I have been described a little bit as a wild child with no explanation so I don’t know how much that implies ADHD symptoms as I don’t exactly understand what that means lmfao but I know I was kinda willful and possibly active bc I remember it being mentioned time out never worked because I’d just leave (though this isn’t exactly strange toddler behavior)

And I don’t think they fully understand what ADHD is (my mom has kinda implied some ‘ADHD’ kids probably just need discipline) and and my cousins have ADHD and they’re incredible hyperactive so their experiences with it are with a totally different presentation.

Plus, you know, another AFAB lmao

I’m gonna make a PowerPoint explaining everything as if talking to a child and ask for a diagnosis test or something or just wait until I’m independent and hopefully have the money to get checked out myself

#not shifting #adhd #autism #possibly adhd #probably adhd

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onlyjellyillputinmybelly · 4 years

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A collection of me kvetching about my mother and her unrealistic expectations

its long sorry

Me: *has two AP classes and an advanced chem class that I have excessive amounts of homework for plus tests I need to study for* -- *has school 4 days a week for at least 6.5 hours a day* -- *does gymnastics for 10 hours a week (and has been for about 8 years)* -- *has been doing a donation bin with my neighbor where we have to drive every couple weeks to a homeless shelter to drop stuff off* -- *is going to try to do drama and maybe reading bowl if I can*

Mom: “You should start a free tutoring service with some of your friends!*

Me: “Ok” *gets friends together, emails schools, makes a website and a google forms, and waits for schools to respond*

Mom: “You should send something through this app so that way more people will see it.”

Me: “Ok, but maybe not today since I have a 4 hour gymnastics practice and a large amount of homework for my AP Government and Politics class, a class that is important for my GPA, and it will look good on college applications. Also, if I get imy homework done now, I’ll have more time to work on the rest of my homework during the week that is assigned the day its due, and maybe have time to work on this tutoring program.”

Mom: “Ok”

Mom, at the end of the day: “Did you post about your program like I asked you?”

Me: “No, I told you earlier that I had a lot of homework.”

Mom: “Fine. Then I guess you just won’t have anything on your college applications that makes you stand out. I’m not going to help you with your idea anymore.”

Me:

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(Part 2)

Me: *exists*

Mother: “Ok so you’re taking 2 APs this semester, so get good grades and do your homework. Don’t procrastinate. Also it’s time to go to gymnastics. Also go join reading bowl. Also create a non-profit tutoring organization (jesus chris). Also you just got diagnosed with a bunch of medical crap so we’re going to the doctor’s for multiple hours on end and you’re not allowed to bring anything inside because of corona. Also the elections happening so keep up with politics with us (like I’m not already doing that) Also you probably have adhd lol heres some pills that don’t help anything they just make you tic less and get dizzy just for the fun of it lol (also i think they’re making me feel like bugs are crawling on me when I sit still which is the literal opposite of what I want) Also you might have to get like 3 surgeries and not be able to walk for a good few months and probably quit gymnastics, literally one of the only things other than chocolate that gives you dopamine. Also you have to get blood drawn lmao. Also you’re driving.

Me: *does a little bit worse in classes. Starts staying up late and getting rly tired. Talks to friends less. Participates less in class + clubs. Charity stuff gets slower. Talks less and takes longer showers (finally some time alone w music). Watches some of my comfort youtubers and tries to do some low-key projects that I actually want to do. Stresses out about the state of the planet a little*

Mother: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING GET OFF OF YOUR DANG PHONE TAKE FASTER SHOWERS YOU COULD BE USING THIS TIME TO TUTOR LOW INCOME CHILDREN AND DOING YOUR HOMEWORK YOU SHOULDNT BE SPENDING YOUR ENTIRE DAY ON YOUR PHONE AND SCREENS STOP BEING SO STRESSED”

Me: *dead eyes mcgee*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Me: *tries to do some projects that I enjoy that could help some people and give me skills that I could use in the future like graphic design, video editing skills, more musical ability, powerpoint and excel skills, etc*

Mom:

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Mom: “Ok, for this next week I will probably be very stressed about the election and your newfound medical problems, so if you find me staring at the wall or crying just leave me alone”

Mom: *is perfectly fine*

Me: *comes downstairs after 4 hours of homework to get water while checking election results* “Ok so things are looking o-”

Mom: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING STOP LOOKING AT YOUR PHONE GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK AND DRINK SOME WATER WHILE YOU’RE DOWN HERE

Me:

#politics #caps #blood tw #driving tw #SHE WANTS ME TO. MAKE. A. NONPROFIT. ORGANIZATION.#MOTHER I AM ONLY HUMAN #im fine tho just overwhelmed #I just wanna have some time to myself #so watch my youtube and finish editing my song and learn ukulele and #make my dreamsmp recap slides thing #like is that so much to ask #also SHES stressed about my medical crap??#MOTHER I AM THE ONE IN PAIN WHO WILL BE FOREVER AFFECTED BY THIS SO HUSH YOUR MOUTH #ok yeah sorry #long post

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eyee · 4 years

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it was way more exhausting…

I did say this once and I will say it again – online distance learning is way more exhausting than the usual face-to-face classroom discussion and I will tell you why…

Online distance learning is indeed beneficial today, especially now that we are experiencing a health crisis. To secure the student and the school personnel’s health, we have to stay at home and make these online classes work.

Before enrolling this third trimester, I was excited because for some reason I thought that I would feel far more comfortable with online schooling than the traditional set-up we used to have. After all, there will be less physical noises or distractions, there will be no more people in every corner of the room (I mean, I’m sometimes an introvert so I hope you understand), no more waking up at six o’clock in the morning, it will be a relax classes and there will be less pressure and stress.

But guess what? There is no way that it has fewer distractions because my phone is always in my hands and social media distractions are so hard to resist. Well, it is my fault in this part. I am not trying to blame anyone.

Yes, it was just you in the room, but you have to talk to many people online and all the time – your professors, your classmates, groupmates, and the people you need for your activities or tasks. As a communication major, we also have to conduct several interviews online (and mind you, that is just the beginning). Truly, no more waking up at six in the morning but we have to wake up at seven or at least 10 or 15 minutes before our 7:30 AM class to just actually wait for nothing (this is not applicable for all of our professors – few of them makes an effort in updating us and meeting us on time. I respect them for that.)

I understand the whole concept of asynchronous discussion or set-up, but the thing is, it was somehow unfair to us students because we have no other choice but to wait. And it is a waste of time if we did it for nothing, simple announcements like “no new activity or lesson today” will do. I am well aware that not everyone has a stable internet connection, they cannot connect to the internet 24/7 and this includes myself as well as our teachers, that is why short announcements are particularly important so that we know when and what time to go online.

It is not a relaxing class, maybe because we are more on the practical side of learning, hence our professors had different approaches and requirements in each of our subjects. Some of them gave us reasonable and possible tasks and some gave us too demanding activities. Considering that we can only use limited resources at this moment. I am not complaining because I have nothing to complain about anyway, but this is for my friends, my classmates and to other students as well who do not have what I have.

It is just too much.

This online discussion is more stressful than the traditional one. There is no give and take or actual communication in this alternative learning, teachers just give and give activities and the communication already stops there. And we, their students just have to figure all things out on our own. They gave us modules and PowerPoint presentations, yes but was it enough?

It was tiring. You wake up every day, with new activities to answer and learn nothing. All we are doing now is just for the sake of passing only. No more excitements. No fun. No feeling of nervousness when we are about to do our reports. No thrill. Just nothing. That is how I felt for this whole term. It felt empty. And to think that my most-awaited subjects are in this term, it was disappointing. I am sad and frustrated. There are so many opportunities and chances for us outside of our homes, but here we are now.

Throughout this term, I am going to lie if I said I did learn nothing because I learned a lot more than I think I do but it is not from an academic perspective though, it is more like about my self and how I handled things differently during this online learning.

I learned how to manage and value my time wisely. In traditional classroom learning, I was a procrastinator because I believe that my brain functions more when I am stress out or when I am rushing things. Sometimes, it is true but most of the time, no. Thus, I tried to change this during this online class, and it has good outcomes.

I learned how to maximize my limited resources. This helps me a lot to become a creative and critical thinker and to find various ways how to do something that you do not usually do.

I also learned how to stand on my own, do things on your own. I think this should be one of your primary goals to achieve at some point in your life because it was self-fulfilling when you did a task on your own. Sometimes, we just explore ourselves, find all those hidden treasures in your life, and use them to improve and upgrade yourself.

Finally, I learned that too much of something is not good. I have this thought for the past few weeks now and for some reason it makes sense. I always have this character of me when I overworked myself, whether it is for school and other stuff since I believe that when you are good at something, practice it over and over again until you perfect it but then, I realized that there’s no such thing as perfection. That is why I started taking care of myself, I cooked my food now and many more changes happened to me during this pandemic and I felt so happy that I made progress during these times.

It is not the idea of online classes that we are afraid and tired of, it is the process of it, the application of it because I love school, I love learning, I hate it when I am unproductive for just a day so I hope that the teachers and university itself would understand.

We are now starting to value our time, we are starting to grow, to learn and explore more about ourselves, so we hope this online distance learning will make us the person we aspire to be – better, critical and passionate. We are holding our own time now, let us not waste it.

#online distance learning academicfreeze

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hayesit · 4 years

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matt’s 2019 year in review

here it is! and it’s late because i had other/better things to do (and procrastinating), was recovering from hangovers (also procrastinating), and recovering from being sick (procrastinating).

i’ve been doing these year in review posts since 2016, so here is my fourth installment. every year i look back through my google calendar, my camera roll, and my bullet journal as a gratitude exercise and to chart my own development as an adult.

here is my spotify wrapped 2019!

the beginning of this year was off to a good start: i met two friends that i know through the internet! i met my friend riley when she visited boston (i met her through a mutual friend and through overwatch league twitter) and my friend jimmy that i’ve known for…. 6 or 7 years (?!) through tumblr and designed the logo for me and alex’s late podcast, hardly tea, may she rest in peace.

i moved dorm rooms in between the fall and spring semester, and once again i was not happy with where i lived. i lived with 4 rando’s that i was placed with and the 5 of us barely even talked with each other. my direct roommate i saw for only two weeks, and for the nights he slept over in the bed (that he was paying room and board for) and had the worst snoring humanly possible that not even earplugs could kill (video below). i hardly slept while he was there and roamed the halls of riverview suites like a ghost due to the anxiety i felt about my lack of sleep (we love a vicious circle)! he disappeared after those two weeks without notice and i lived in fear of him returning for the rest of the semester (which he didn’t), but returned to my normal sleep schedule.

youtube

that semester was my first semester of full-time grad school. i got a poor grade on an assignment that had a note from the professor that said she knew i could do better and it hit me how much different grad school is from undergrad and how much more effort and dedication it requires. after crying in my professor’s office, my work ethic has improved since then, but it’s not anywhere near where i’d like it to be (more on that later).

now to more positive things for the spring semester: i met some friends that semester both ~on and offline~ that made the semester far more bearable AND i did however truly pop off in every last one of my powerpoint presentations for class. i looooove making powerpoints and just fuckin telling jokes about my research topic and have ppl tell me that they are looking forward to my presentation & that i should teach college classes :)!

me and 4 friends had a social group in which we’d drink and play board games and forget about the board game and drunkenly talk shit called cabam after all our first initials! i always looked forward to that and dug the group chemistry a lot.

during this semester i grew a “ beard “, otherwise known as i chose not to shave just to “ see what would happen “ (praythatitfilledin). sorry about that!

the overwatch league was something that i had to look forward to watch every week and i had my experience enhanced through sideshow and avast’s unofficial companion streams, which guaranteed lots of laughs. i have bought tickets to two boston home games in 2020 which i am very excited about! analysts have predicted boston to be in 20th place this year (there are 20 teams) but i’m still excited for the 2020 season anyway!!

i can’t have a year-in-review of 2019 without mentioning game of thrones. due to the show’s final season being undeniably weak, i enjoyed the camaraderie with the other people that watched thrones during those six weeks. i haven’t thought about the show or its universe for quite a while, unfortunately. i truly was quite into the world of westeros, but the weakness of the end of the story cheapened the journey of each of the characters, in a way. such a shame.

while i got my diploma in december 2018, i walked across the stage of umass lowell’s tsongas arena with my bachelor of arts in psychology (and minor in theatre arts). it wasn’t as emotional or triumphant of an experience and just felt weird, considering i had already gotten my diploma and was going to remain in the clutches of rowdy the riverhawk as i am staying for my masters degree in applied behavior analysis/autism studies. i brought a ceramic monkey to graduation. it didn’t have any symbolism, but i just wanted to see if they’d stop me (which they didn’t)

this summer was better than most summers of mine go, i hung out with alex nearly every weekend, got my very first iphone, and got a data plan. the combination of these three things got me back into playing pokemon go, an unexpectedly fun pastime! went on lots of walks!

my favorite day of summer was going to a lake with alex and our friend gianna, who i grew closer to after meeting her during macbeth last year. fond 2019 memories with gianna include: doing simulation patients with her, watching movies with her and alex, and the halloween party. what a great gd person and a great gd friend! big fan and eternally rooting for her.

fire emblem: three houses came out on the switch in august and is, without a doubt, my game of the year. there’s truly so much to love about the game: the world, the characters, new changes made to the series, things that were gone but returned, interesting micromanaging, and best of all, how huge my brain feels when playing it.

i got a 6-week summer job as a paraprofessional at an extended-school-year program for children with developmental disabilities at a preschool in haverhill which taught me a lot of lessons, such as: i hate cleaning shit off of children.

then i had feelings that didn’t make much sense for about a month! whoops!

my full-time job i currently have is working at my old high school as a behavior specialist. i provide consultation and work on programs to lead to more appropriate behavior in students, primarily ones with developmental disabilities. so far it’s been fairly rewarding, some days are more challenging than others, some days are a lot of sitting in meetings, and some days are a lot of running around. some days there is not much to do at all, which has its obvious upsides and downsides. working at the high school isn’t something that i want to do forever, but it’s a good place to start with. i’m definitely learning a lot and there are a lot of benefits to working here. sometimes i can work on my grad school work (which is all online until the 2020 summer semester) which is definitely huge. and my commute is either a 15 minute walk or 3 minutes if my mom drives me!

a ~complex~ thing about working in my hometown is that it makes the most financial sense to live at home because it’s so close to work. this is my first time living at home full-time since high school and i’m not enjoying that part too much. most weekends i visit alex in lowell, but being stuck at home with no car (going to retake the license test in the spring when the ice melts!) and having to go to bed so early definitely hurts. sure, i have what is likely the lowest amount of expenses i’ll ever have in my life (no car-related payments, no rent, no groceries), but i feel landlocked. i feel like a teenager with minimal freedom, which is in part because my mom doesn’t quite understand yet that i’m a 22 year-old that should have a lot more freedom than i do now. the most i really do on weekdays after work gets out (2:30p) is go to savers with my mom if it’s tuesday (senior citizen day), maybe go for a walk if it’s nice out (which for most of the school year, it isn’t), or be on the computer watching bon appetit videos and playing overwatch, fire emblem, or pokemon, eat a bland dinner at 6, go to bed at around 9:30. sad! truly not a situation that i want to be trapped in that much that much longer!

i think the best and most important part of this year was becoming closer with alex. as i mentioned before, we see each other most weekends, to our great benefit. our living situations have flip-flopped, with me living at home and alex living in an apartment near campus, which in both similar and different ways have taken their respective tolls on us. having each other while going through changes and stagnations in our lives has been immeasurably important. thank you alex for providing a place to be myself other than my own head. thank you for being my best friend.

now i come to the thing that i’m most excited about for 2020. not 2 suck my own horn but i have cobbled together a fuckin dream team of five friends (me, alex, chris, kelly, and molly). the two times we have all gotten together it has been so satisfying in such a wonderful and otherworldly way that i am filled to the brim of happiness being around them. the craziest thing is that i met chris and kelly through twitter! TWITTER. and they’re real-ass people and my real-ass friends! i haven’t been so pleased with something in my life like this for so long and it feels so good to have adult friends that i have chosen rather than friends by circumstance. it’s truly a crime that we can’t see each other more often, but we already have a day picked out for the next time we all do something together. feeling emotional writing this paragraph bc i love me gd friends so much!

there is a lot of uncertainty about this new year for me. i sure as fuck don’t want to live at home more than i have to but don’t know where to go, my practicum class starts for me this summer which means i’ll most likely have to change jobs (fine by me, but will be exhausting), i recently began my search for therapists and hope to find one soon to help me ~unpack things~, my thesis begins in the fall semester and i don’t know what to do for it, and i’m not 100% dead-set on working in special education. it’s been hard transitioning from living on campus and going to school full-time to the life i have now.

#year in review #personal

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emovirgil-sanders · 6 years

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Teacher AU

Logan Sanders

Mr. Sanders

English teacher

Very orderly in the way that he teaches

But, very open on how students take notes- lets them choose how they learn best

Prefers irl graphs, maps, and whiteboard notes over a PowerPoint presentation

He researches every topic to the furthest extent possible and makes sure his facts are correct so his mistakes are... infinitesimal.

Does make a lot of group work, but understands that some students don’t work well in groups and lets them work on their own

Will sit and talk with students before/after class to help them with work or concepts they may be struggling in

Is very open to criticism- wants to make sure he is a good teacher for everyone

Definitely makes one of those ‘how did I teach?’ quizzes at the end of the school year

Does not give a lot of tests and thinks that the SAT/ACT are complete bullshit and should be removed (and will rant to hell and back over how horrid they are)

Gives a lot of very obvious hints on what the answers to questions are

Does creative writing as an elective course

Patton Foster

Mr./Mx./Mrs. Foster (Genderfluid) (Mx. is pronounced as ‘mix’ if you don’t know, though it does not stand for ‘mixed’)

Always writes his honorific and pronouns on the board so students will know what to call him by

Also has a necklace with three tags of He/She/They on them

Also will let students call him Patton if it makes them more comfortable.

Cause Patton wants to be friends with everyone and friends should call each other by their first names

Even if it is between student and teacher

History teacher

Mostly teaches American history, but also teaches British history and Greek and Roman history(the last two as elective classes)

Is very laid back

Extra credit for you and extra credit for you and extra credit for- you get the point?

Does WHATEVER he can in order to make a student comfortable in the school

Patton is the one that many students come out to first and he always respects their pronouns and does his very best to make sure he sticks to them (and if the student is comfortable with it, he will politely inform the other teachers so that the student doesn’t have to come out to all of the teachers)

Virgil Hathaway

Mr. Hathaway

Gym teacher

He loves to run games of dodgeball, kickball, and matball

Though he ALWAYS makes sure to be super clear on the rules because he doesn’t want anyone to get hurt

It’s hard to get him to play the games, but if you can manage to get him to cooperate, you better hope he’s on your team or else your done for.

(He will scream if a ball comes his way tho)

Pacer? Fuck that. Let’s play floor hockey

Is not a huge fan of doing sports such as volleyball, tennis, or basketball

But he does have free days on the Friday of each week where students can walk/run laps in the gym or play those sports or just chill and hang out before the weekend

Virgil knows how important mental health days are and will let students sit out if they need a period to just calm down. (He even has an empty classroom for them if the gym is too loud)

Roman Prince

Mr. Prince

Many students also call him Mr. Princey because that’s what Virgil calls him

Drama and Theater teacher

Loves planning and acting for the school plays

Yes, he is the director of the plays

But he also loves performing in them

He helps many students get over their fear of performing on stage/in front of an audience

One year, several years back, during the school play, he completely blanked on his lines and froze in the middle of the stage

He was so embarrassed afterward

But he doesn’t hesitate to show the recording of it to his class each year to show them that it’s completely natural to freeze and that it happens to everyone

Dolos Fox

Mr. Fox

*sigh* yes, just like the movie

Biology teacher

Also teaches Psychology as an elective course

Has a class pet snake called Nagini (after the snake from Harry Potter)

Has burn scarring along the right side of his face from an accident

People always ask what happened, but he always gives a different story to each class

His right eye was destroyed so much he now has a glass eye in its place (it has a yellow iris~)

Rumors have spread that he can actually see out of that eye because he doesn’t seem to have a blind spot

Really, he just has a couple of mirrors strategically placed around the class so he can always see what’s happening

He does not allow talking in his class

He does not care how important you think your conversation with your bff is, he will stop class and stare until you shut up

Tends to freak out a lot of people

(He loves taking out his glass eye in class) (Patton has to console a kid after they nearly threw up at the sight)

He’s one of those teachers that has the cubby you put your phone in before class

Fucking strict ass teacher that nobody likes

Remy Dormir

Mx. Dormir (non-binary)

French teacher

Yes, for the last time, they are pretty sure they know their last name is ‘Sleep’ in French (and a multitude of other languages)

That’s where their nickname comes from

Students always call them ‘Mx. Sleep’ in the hallways

Blame that one also on Virgil

Where’s Mx. Dormir? Nobody knows.

Really, they don’t show up to school half of the time

The kids get subs most days

And when they do show up?

A tray of coffee in one hand and they sit at their desk with their phone. Sometimes passing out a worksheet or something

It’s a wonder they still have a job

Though, if you use the wrong honorific/pronouns for them, then you’re pretty much dead

Aka, you’re getting an auto detention

(And you’re on even thinner ice if you do it around Patton)

“You’re all under the age of eighteen and I’m your teacher. What’s in my pants isn’t something you should be concerned about. Try again when you’re out of high school.” - Their response if any student asks the ridiculous ‘then what’s in your pants?’ question (I think this is my strongest line I’ve ever come up with)

Nate Asher Price (Slow-mo dude/Procrastination) (I included his middle name cause N.A.P.)

Mr. Price

Art Teacher (2D & 3D)

He loves working sculpturally but is also a fantastic 2D artist

Abstract art is his favorite

But he tends to procrastinate on his projects

Even though his classes are usually split up into 2D students and 3D students, he encourages his students to try some of both if they want to. (If they want to stick to a specific type, then he lets them do exactly that)

His projects are very loosely based so that the students don’t get stuck in a loop of following the guidelines and creating 24 exact replicas of a piece.

If a student needs help, he will sit with them and help them brainstorm ideas for a project. He loves when they hit a creative streak and just blurt our ideas one after the other, building upon each other to a grand idea of a final project.

Nate doesn’t have any classes for the first two periods of the day- allowing him ample time to wake up and make it to school- but somehow, he is always at least a few minutes late.

Extra Notes:

Logan runs a debate club after school on Tuesdays and Thursdays

Patton runs a GSA(Gender and Sexuality Acceptance) club with Virgil after school on Wednesdays

Virgil also runs a mental health club on Fridays

Roman runs a drama club for kids whose schedules are too busy to take the class (or who'd just like some extra practice)

Patton and Logan are known as the English teacher and the English teacher because Patton is British and the two are always seen together (many students think they’re dating too!)

“Mr. Prince doesn’t teach art… OH! You mean Mr. Price!” (Another reason why they call Roman Mr. Princey)

Bonus:

Toby, Ember, and Austin Hallows (October, September, and August)

Infamous triplets of the school

They are troublemakers

Not Identical triplets though (Ember is a (closeted) trans boy and Toby is unanimously the hottest of the three)

Seriously, about the three of them being troublemakers

Having one in your class is hard enough

Two of them is just torture

All three of them? Probably going to want to quit by the end of the first day

Like, once, during their sophomore year, they decided they wanted to take part in the senior prank and let Nagini (Mr. Fox’s snake) loose in the halls. Luckily, she’s non-venomous, but it still was chaos as they tried to find where the snake had slithered off to (it went to hide in Mr. Hathaway’s room, somehow knowing it would make the gym teacher flip out)

And that’s just a mild prank for them

#teacher au #thomas sanders #sanders sides #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #kinda abusive deceit #remy sanders #sleep sanders #toby ember and austin #October September and august #im writing something with this #i have too many wips #hahaha

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correresmidestinoweb-blog · 5 years

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How to Write a Paper in One Night

Being in college is a chore. It takes a lot of work, carefully planned over the course of a week, or a month, or a quarter to make sure everything gets done with the full attention it deserves….are you laughing yet? No one puts in the time "required" to properly complete their college work. No, rather it's a rush at the end every week or two to complete a 10 page paper or learn 200 years of ancient Roman history overnight. You all do it, I did it. It's probably a better training skill than all the random stuff you "learn", because honestly in real life do you think you'll have the time to sit and schedule everything that pops into your life ahead of time. Yeah…thought not.

Anyways, for those of you just entering college from the snore inducing boredom and ease of High School, you're probably incredibly unprepared for the shear amount of work you'll have to pull out in the last second. I'm not saying it's easy just because you'll procrastinate. No, it's still hard. You really should take the time to do your work properly. You just won't, and so you need to learn how to procrastinate. It's a fine art, in which I feel I've become something of a Renoir.

First off, make sure you've got all your books and notes. If you don't go to class, which is entirely likely for those of the procrastinating ilk, make sure you get them from a classmate. Also, double check and make sure your professor doesn't have a website. They'll usually tell you, but more than once I've found a class's notes sitting in an archive online, especially now that 90% of them put everything they teach you into PowerPoint presentations and then just read it to you for an hour every day (yeah, lazy). It's usually only an extra 30 seconds out of their day to put the stuff online, and then when they receive twenty plus emails a week asking for the lecture notes, they only have to point you to the website. Well, some are a bit more facetious about their pupils not even bothering to come to class and don't openly offer said notes. However, for sick students and whatnot, they'll put them online to save paper and all it takes is a couple of quick Google searches or an email to a sick student and you've got your notes. Or…just ask a classmate. But then you're relying on them actually paying attention.

You should have your books too. If you never bothered buying them because you would just take notes or go to sparknotes, then you'd better go buy them, because BSing your way through a paper is going to take at least some resources. You can't magically ascertain the information from just being near smarter people. School would be much easier if that were the case.

So, sit down and start reading. Yup, you're going to be reading a lot the night before your work is due. But, this is better than doing all the assigned reading, because now you're searching for specific information. Instead of general learning (which would only stick around and clutter up your brain later) you're doing targeted research. An eighth the time, and none of that pesky remembering it. You should have your topic at least. If not, start surfing message boards and snag one from someone smarter than you. Don't ever take their work though. The last thing you need is to get kicked out of school for plagiarism. It's lazy and embarrassing. Steal concepts, but never words. And if you steal a concept from the middle of their work, cite them. Your university will not take kindly to cheating. You'll be so red taped and black listed, you might as well go and get an application at Jack in the Box, and trust me you don't want to work in fast food.

You can't procrastinate now. You've done that for three weeks, so I'm sorry (I know it hurts), but in terms of actual physical writing time, you'll need at least three hours to type your paper, which speaks nothing of writing it. And writing it involves finding quotations and that ever so pesky chore of thinking. Sit down, grab an energy drink and a bag of chips, close your door and put some headphones on. No television, and put your phone on the charger. Now open up the word processor and just start typing.

You probably think you have writer's block. But, writer's block is completely unrelated to having absolutely no idea what you're talking about. You're stuck with the second one right now, so just keep on reading on your topic and finding bits and pieces to put together.

The thing here that most people don't realize is that the standard writing process isn't in effect for you. You're not drafting, or brainstorming. That's the stuff you should have done two weeks ago. No, you're writing your paper, so make sure you've got your idea and just start writing and keep writing until you create a thesis somehow.

I usually start as broad as possible, and just start talking about something. If I'm writing about the Hero Quest of Pip in Great Expectations, I start by talking about Greek Mythology and the origin of the classical hero. Working my way down, I'll talk about the modern hero, then about the alterations made in the industrial age, and how Dickens rewrote archetypes for his comedy, and finally start talking about Pip. By now you should have a general idea about what you want to say. It might be general but you'll clarify in your next few paragraphs, and then come back and rewrite the first paragraph.

Paragraph one is almost always trash. Especially with this method, because your weary, angered professor after reading 30 of these lovely last minute essays will put a big red X through anything that doesn't have to do with your paper, and those first few grasping sentences are completely unrelated. But now you can start stealing from the text. Snag a quote and make a point. Snag another quote and make another point. If your thesis ends up as something incredibly broad and useless like "Pip's quest from anonymity and worthlessness into a position of wealth and power in London mirrors the classical hero quests, but works through Dickensian views of industrial England" you're still good. It sounds intelligent and has a lot of promise. Now just find specific quotes and build a narrative. Start at the beginning of his change, talk about his childhood, then go to when he changes, then compare to the Hero quests of old, then show how they're different.

Almost any paper, if written quickly can boil down to something simple and incredibly easy to write, a compare and contrast paper. You choose a prominent theme from the book you just "read". Find a source that mirrors or better yet foils this theme and compare the two. Don't just list how they're different though. That's high school stuff right there. You'll want to write exactly how the outside source changes what you think of your book. It sounds hard but jus think about it. You've got Great Expectations. It has a main character who goes on a kind of quest. Now you have a classic archetype of which there are hundreds of sources to draw on. You take a basic outline of this archetype and apply it to Pip's quest and how he fits it, and when he doesn't fit it. Now you finish your paper by describing why he doesn't fit it sometimes. Which gets you back to the Dickensian views part. You've just pretty much written a paper that says, Pip's quest is classic but different because Dickens was writing about a different time in human history. Incredibly simple; you're not telling anyone anything new, but three things will guarantee a good grade.

If you write well at all. You've got to be a halfway decent writer, which if you're in college I'll assume you are.

Professors love outside references. It shows initiative and research and makes it seem like you did extra work (which you didn't). I've written papers overnight without drafts and without ever reading them back to myself and received comments that I must have spent hours working on it. Not quite.

Confidence in your assertions. Say everything with absolute certainty, and back it up with a quote. Do this enough and even if you're wrong, it'll seem like you've made a decent point, which gets you brownie points.

Writing a paper is a tumultuous task but it's also a scalable task that can be made incredibly quick and easy if you know how. My second to last quarter of college, I wrote three order thesis papers in two days; two of them 10 pages, and one 25 pages, and received a 3.8, and two 3.7s. It's a matter of confidence and above all else an unmitigated fearlessness to be incredibly lazy.

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peachyvhope · 6 years

Text

Cold-Hearted | pt. 4.

;pairing — jungkook x reader

;warnings — smut| maybe a bit of cock worship | this is like 1/3 edited lol

;summary — why is it that whenever you’re around Jeon Jungkook, you’re a hot mess? And when you’re a hot mess, his heart turns cold as stone. When a drunken night forces you to spend a dark morning at the BTS frat house, Jungkook develops an avid hate for you which can only lead to worse things

;word count — 8,768 words of idk what

part one | part two | part three

“So…” You awkwardly had your head laid against Jungkook’s chest. His heart thumped against his chest steadily, as if the whole even wasn’t affecting him as much as it was affecting you. After all, this guy had been on your mind non-stop since the incident, but here he was… just hugging you after a verbal confrontation.

“What?” You wished you could know what he was thinking. Jungkook took your hands in his own and began to fiddle with your fingers, pinching the fingertips every now and then. You opened and closed your mouth, not knowing what to say, distracted by the simple, oddly intimate action.

“Out with it, just spit it out.” Jungkook pressed as he pinched another fingertip.

“I…” your mouth suddenly felt dry. “You eat ice cream in the dark?” You mentally smacked a palm against your forehead—out of anything, you said that?

“So what if I do? Are you judging me?” He said, somewhat defensively, pausing in his actions, but still holding onto your hand.

“No—I just…” You felt dizzy, your legs were tingly, and it was getting far too warm. The carton of ice cream was long forgotten, empty and tossed aside. You took your hands from Jungkook and pushed away, too close for comfort. “So, the presentation?” You offered in an attempt to change the subject.

“Oh, yeah.” You noticed Jungkook’s figure stand, and you wished you could see the expression on his face—maybe then you could get an idea of what he was thinking about, but his laptop had died not much earlier.

“What are you doing?” You wondered, hoping you hadn't offended him to the point that he would actually leave.

“Let’s go.” Jungkook’s voice sounded farther—he pulled his phone from what you assumed was his pocket and turned the flashlight on before gathering his things. It took you a moment to process what he had said.

“What?” You asked, thoroughly confused.

“We can’t just wait for midnight to pass us by—if we’ve procrastinated this long, Cho isn’t going to give us an extension just because the power went out. Let’s go to the campus coffee shop and finish up there.” Jungkook explained as he shoved his laptop into his bag before finally hiking the thing on his shoulder, leaning his hip against the counter to wait for you.

“Oh,” you nodded. “I’ll… get my stuff?” Your statement came out as a question, considering you were still a little confused at his behavior in the last few minutes.

“No need; long as we have my stuff, we’ll be good. We have a few slides, then we can review the powerpoint, and do some note cards. I think we’ll be just fine.” Jungkook stared down at you before realizing you had no plans to actually get up. “Well, come on, time is money.”

You nodded as if to agree, “You can go ahead. I’ll catch up, I just need to take care of something, real quick. Lock up.”

“Dude, seriously get off your ass.” Jungkook’s flashlight shined down on you, momentarily blinding you, but behind the light, you could make out the cold glare he gave you. He was getting pissed.

“I’m telling you, Jeon, I’ll be right behind you,” you attempted. “Don’t fight me on this.”

“Too bad,” Jungkook’s hand wrapped around your upper arm and he pulled you up with him, your legs feeling more tingly. “Come on, I have things to do.”

“After midnight? What? Jack off?” you spat, ripping your arm free from his grip. Jungkook rolled his eyes and turned off the flashlight, walking towards the door. You shifted from foot to foot, trying to wake your legs up after sitting for so long.

“It’s none of your business what I do, but I can assure you that I’m never alone.” Your stomach dropped slightly at his comment. Jungkook opened the door to your dorm and grabbed his umbrella. “Coming or not?” You exhaled a deep breath and pulled on some sneakers, following him out the door and locking up.

The walk to the coffee shop was a silent one, besides the pitter patter of the rain on the asphalt and the plastic of Jungkook’s umbrella. He made sure that it covered the both of you well, although every once in a while, you’d move too far and end up with a droplet splashing on your shoulder. The inside of the coffee shop was well-lit and super warm; you wondered if it was only your dormitory hall that had lost power. Not many people occupied the little shop, but those who were there were too interested in their own assignments or books.

“Go find a table; I’ll get some drinks.” Jungkook waved you off dismissively.

“Okay,” you mumbled meekly before turning away from him. In the brightly lit shop, you could tell Jungkook wasn’t one bit happy with you. He looked plain exhausted, dark circles starting to form beneath his eyes. Not to mention, with every glance you stole, he’d seemed to be glaring right back. You took a seat in a booth close to the register and chanced another look at the boy.

Jungkook gave the barista at the register a tired smile before pointing to the menu behind her. You tried to eavesdrop, but you weren’t close enough to hear what he said. With a heavy sigh you leaned your head in your palm, putting the weight on your propped elbow. Your mind raced with questions. What did this mean?

When Jungkook returned with two iced teas, you both got to work on the presentation. While you thought you had been close to done, it took a long while before you could get everything right. Down to the last few moments before the midnight deadline, you and Jungkook never uttered a word that strayed from the project at hand. That meant, when you had finally finished and e-mailed the damned powerpoint to Professor Cho at 11:58pm, you and Jungkook sat in awkward silence, surrounded by a stranded diner. A new waitress had clocked in for the graveyard shift, slumping on her arm in boredom.

“Let me walk you to your place,” Jungkook finally said after the cricket chirps became too much for him. He hiked his bag onto his shoulder before standing from the booth, waiting for you to do the same. When you’d finally gotten up, he lead the way out of the exit and all the way to your front door. The walk had been quiet, but somehow it was a comfortable silence compared to when you’d been sitting in the booth. You tiredly stared at his broad back the whole journey, wondering to yourself how his body had gotten that way. You wondered what he must have looked like when he was younger, but nothing seemed to come to mind.

“Here we are,” Jungkook breathed abruptly, and you looked up from his back just to see him turn and connect your gaze. “Home, sweet home, huh?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, almost dazed. You couldn’t help but realize how sleepy you were getting. Your eyes were drooping and your body was ready to give out. Maybe if Jungkook was nicer, he could pick you up and carry you to your bed. No doubt Taehyung would do it—even without you asking. You let out a loud yawn, too tired to even step in the direction of your door.

“Think you’re ready?”

You simply nodded again. You couldn’t really process what he was saying; but it sounded nice coming from him. That was for sure. His voice was low, careful as to not disturb anyone else, amd you guessed he was probably tired, too.

“Make sure you review your cards before you come in—it’s better you don’t read off of them. The professor could deduct points. And if…” you tuned his words out and focused on the baritone of his voice. When the sound of his voice began to lull you to sleep and you almost found yourself falling into the fetal position on the floor, you shook your head violently and placed your hand on Jungkook’s chest.

“Mmm,” you hummed, the muscles under the fabric of his hoodie tensing. “I won’t screw up. Tired. Bye.”

“I’m sure you won’t.” You opened the door to your dorm, and without glancing, retreated to your bedroom for a good night’s sleep. You were too slumped to even dream, so when you woke up, it felt like you had woken up in a completely different time arc. You sat up and turned off the alarm on your cell phone before getting up to prepare yourself for the presentation. You made sure you were dressed to abide by the business casual dress code and went over the cards you and Jungkook had writ up that previous night—the way he was acting, there was no room for errors.

As you finished up your breakfast, you gathered your things and started your stroll to your Physics class. Professor Cho was standing at the door, handing out hard copies of the powerpoints to each group. While you waited for the line to shorten, you heard someone hiss. You didn’t know if whoever that person was, was gesturing for you, so for a moment you kept minding your own business. When the hissing persisted, with the added flippant use of your name, you finally looked around to see Jungkook waving a packet over his head.

“Hey, we’re first up.”

“You’re joking,” your jaw slacked just a little bit. The only good that ever came from being first to present was that teachers were usually easier. But that was high school. In college, if something didn’t adhere to the guidelines, your points were going to get deducted—no ifs, ands, or buts.

“I’m not laughing, am I? Now come on and help me set up these charts.”

“Charts?”

“Yes, charts. I took them out of the presentation before we e-mailed Cho and printed them out onto bigger sheets this morning. You’re good with explaining them, right?” Jungkook pulled out a pen from his pants pocket and held it out for you to take. You noticed he was wearing one of those Chinese collar dress shirts and couldn’t help but notice how it fit his body so well.

“Of course.”

“Good.” Jungkook turned away from you and began to set up easels to hold the charts, leaving you to pull up your powerpoint as students continued to file into the large lecture hall. As the opening slide appeared on the massive wall behind you, you realized you would be using a microphone, much like Professor Cho did when lecturing. That would aid you in any chance of speaking too low. You breathed a sigh, not sure of whether it was relief, or that sigh you take when you’re unsure about something.

“Mr. Jeon Jungkook and Miss (Y/L/N), are you ready?” Professor Cho closed the door to the lecture hall and sat in his wheelie chair, front and center.

Jungkook shook his head and blew out a sigh, before saying yes. Jungkook glanced at you, mouthing three distinct words: “Don’t fuck up.” He picked up the clicker from the desk and pointed a laser at the picture on that slide. “Good morning, I am Jeon Jungkook, and this is my partner…” You filled in with your own name and a smile.

The presentation went relatively well—or at least you thought so. You were able to stop yourself from using filler words, maintaining eye contact with the audience, and didn’t stutter over your words. Much. Jungkook was incomparable. It sounded as if he had rehearsed a dozen times, his voice projected across the whole hall even without the microphone, well enough that he didn’t have to shout. When Professor Cho asked questions and you answered with your subpar knowledge, Jungkook would come to the rescue.

At least that headache was over.

Professor Cho dismissed you, allowing the next group to get up and show their presentation. You and Jungkook slipped into empty seats at the back. When you’d gotten situated, Jungkook turned to you and placed a brown paper bag on your desk.

“What’s this,” you whispered, warily glancing at the bag. Last time you’d accepted a so-called gift from the guy, you’d been left mortified.

“Food.” He shrugged.

“Why?” You took into account how he crossed his arms on the table and stared at you, biceps bulging. Was he purposefully flexing? Couldn’t be. You tried to match the magnitude of his stare, but all that resulted was tension.

“I figured if you did well, I’d reward you.” Jungkook gave you a small smile and you felt something knot up in the pit of your stomach. “Go ahead.” Jungkook continued to urge you, and you really weren’t sure if you should follow up.

When you didn’t move, Jungkook rolled his eyes. “You act like I did something horrible to you. Just open the goddamn bag.” His slightly raised voice caught the attention of some of your classmates, but Jungkook didn’t seem to care in the slightest.

“You do it,” you murmured, pushing the bag closer to him with a single shaking finger. Jungkook scoffed before taking the bag and opening it, pulling out what appeared to be a Boston cream doughnut. Your favorite. Jungkook began to raise the pastry to his mouth, but before he could bite into it, you grasped his wrist.

“Where did you get that,” you asked, as if it wasn’t to blatant before.

“A doughnut shop? Piss off. You didn’t seem like you wanted it before.”

“I want it,” you said without skipping a beat. “Give it here,” you held out the hand that wasn’t wrapped around Jungkook’s wrist, staring at the doughnut as if it were the key to survival. Jungkook laughed at you, a sound that you would have cherished if the doughnut hadn’t been held captive. In one swift movement, Jungkook held both your wrists with one hand, his other hand aiding in the mission of him eating.

“Oh, my God,” you gasped.

“I’m not God,” he joked, showcasing the cream filling. You noticed the doughnut left a trace of cream on his bottom lip, right next to the mole under his lip. “Lick it.”

“What?” You stopped moving every single muscle in your body.

“You heard me,” Jungkook glanced to the side before reconnecting his gaze with yours, lowering his voice so only you could hear. “Lick it.” He leaned in closer, and that scene of his lips with the cream was just waiting to unfold. His lips were just centimeters away from yours, and you were beginning to notice how your body was vibrating on its own. From excitement. Your eyes glared at his nose, your lip rolling between your teeth as you bit it in uncertainty.

“I want my doughnut back,” you whispered with a whine, trying hard not to just let your tongue slip and swipe up the remainder of the doughnut.

“If you lick it, I’ll buy you another one.” Jungkook began to smirk, and you wondered where that cold-hearted persona suddenly disappeared to. People didn’t change overnight.

“I can buy my own.” You tried to release yourself from his hold but it was no use.

“Where’s the joy in eating something you bought yourself? Just lick it; when did you become such a wimp? Weren’t you the one who decided I was being an ass and hopped on my dick?” Jungkook really couldn’t have said it louder. You wanted to smack yourself from embarrassment when you realized the three rows in front of you were staring at your exchange.

One girl in particular was whispering to her friend, and while you couldn’t hear anything, you were certain it was something about how you were probably some crazy bitch. And if your situations has been switched, you were certain you would have said the same thing. Who gets so pissed that they hop on some guy’s dick? Normally, not you. But in your defense, you’d gotten really worked up.

Like a blessing from above, Professor Cho finally stood and went to the front of the classroom, having no idea what was going on in the very back row of the lecture hall. “We will continue presentations tomorrow; those of you who have already presented, please pick up your grade slips on my desk.” And then he was gone. Jungkook scoffed and stood, picking up his bag and licking his own lip. He walked ahead of you to the desk and picked the the little gold grade sheet.

“What did we get?” You stood beside Jungkook as the lecture hall got emptier and emptier.

“Hmm,” his eyebrows furrowed together as he analyzed the sheet. When he whistled lowly, you felt your chest get tight. Something was wrong. You could tell from the way Jungkook suddenly tensed up, crumpled up the paper in his hand, and shoved it in his pocket.

“Ju—” You couldn’t even say his name. For fear of angering him more as he stomped out of the hall. You were the last pair to leave.

You waited a few moments after he disappeared to make your own exit, figuring you’d find out your grade eventually. Maybe you could email Professor Cho. That was a solution; you didn’t know how much more of pissy Jungkook you could handle. It had been a long week. An eventful week.

When you left the lecture hall, you closed the door behind you quietly, only to hear a loud bang. You jumped, only to find someone’s chest pressed against your back. You tried to look behind you, but the body pressed further into your back. You felt no threat.

“Uh,” you were at a loss for words. “Jungkook…?” You tried. You hoped. You really hoped it was Jungkook just being funny, but realized he wasn’t normally like that—after all he just stomped out in anger. Maybe it was Taehyung.

The pressure ceased and you were able to turn around and face a smug Jungkook. You couldn’t help but be shocked. Jungkook held out the crumpled paper and you were relieved to see a fat a marked in red across the gold material.

“Haha, very funny.”

“Doughnuts?” Jungkook produced another brown paper bag, and you grabbed it quickly. As you walked quickly to find a place to sit outside the lecture hall, Jungkook fell into step beside you. He remained quiet, staring ahead as you checked inside the bag to see if they were really doughnuts. Rest assured, there were three other Boston Creams inside. You found a bench just outside and sat down, pulling a doughnut out for yourself. You bit into it happily, savoring the first bite.

“Good?”

“Delicious. I feel like I’m in heaven—secured that C for the semester, and now I have doughnuts,” you moaned in happiness, eliciting a chuckle from Jungkook. “What if I didn’t like Boston cream doughnuts, huh, jerk?”

“I guess I would have to eat them all myself.”

“They’re your favorite,” you asked, amazed at the fact you were able to keep a conversation with the infamous stone-cold jerk in the first place. It felt like good vibes were arising.

“Not particularly. I talked to Seokjin.”

“Oh,” you muttered around another mouthful. You fell quiet. He talked to Jin. “Why?”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“About you being a bitch to me and me being douche in return.”

“I don’t think that’s how apologies work, Jeon,” you sighed, crossing your legs on the bench and pulling another doughnut out to eat.

“I guess not. But I kinda understand how you got so worked up. Not really. You were an utter bitch. Someone needs to take you to anger management classes.”

“Starting to feel like you’re not that sorry.”

“But I reflected. People don’t change overnight, but reflection can occur in a night. Everyone at the frat seems to think you’re kinda cool, and if you can’t come over to visit your brother or your little boy toy because of me, then I guess I feel bad.”

“Tae isn’t my boy toy,” you found yourself saying, as if he really needed to hear that.

“Sure.” Jungkook sat back and breathed deeply through his nose. “Truce?”

You weighed your options. Of course you couldn’t keep a grudge. You split the doughnut you had in hand in half and offered it to Jungkook. “Truce.”

You sat in silence for a while, thinking back on the presentation. “Were you nervous?”

“Very,” Jungkook admitted. “People tell me when I’m nervous, I do this head thing, but I don’t see it.”

“Oh, I noticed that,” you hummed. Swallowing the last bit of your pastry.

“Did you?” Jungkook’s eyes flickered, and you licked your lips, assuming there had been a bit of cream on your lips like he had earlier. “There’s nothing on your lips.”

“Oh,” you said, feeling dumb all of a sudden. “My lips were dry.” You looked ahead of you, other students roaming the campus freely. You felt Jungkook slide closer to you.

“I’m going to kiss you.”

“Why?” You looked at him, shocked.

“Stop asking questions,” he rolls his eyes, “Because I feel like it.” His palm caressed your cheek and he leaned closer, pressing his lips to yours in a soft kiss. He should feel like it more often, you thought to yourself.

Jiyeon walked in causing an unnecessary amount of ruckus. She held large cloth bags on both shoulders, yelping here and there when she wasn’t groaning out of her “exhaustion”.

“Hey,” you greeted, finally emerging from your bedroom. “What’s all that?”

“I bought groceries.”

“Groceries,” you narrowed your eyes in suspicion. You pinched the hot pink fabric spilling from one of the bags that Jiyeon had thrown across the couch, raising an eyebrow. “I may not be a genius, but I’m pretty sure groceries are considered something you can eat.”

“You’re not wrong.” Jiyeon slipped the last bag onto the floor and slumped across the couch, “Groceries are defined as items of food sold in a grocery store.”

“Yeah, that’s what I meant.” You took one of the large bags and dumped them on the floor. Panties upon panties spilled out.

“Again, Ji. I’m no genius, but I don’t think thongs,” you held up a lace pair, “Are edible. Unless that’s your new hobby—I’m not judging.”

“Chill, Y/N.” Jiyeon finally sat up, “We are not having thongs and push up bras from breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I just picked them up from a friend. Remember Mona? She came back from France and got me a shit-ton of stuff! So I figured—why not put them to good use?”

“Ah, I see. You and Hoseok should have some interesting nights in the future; just be sure to book a hotel.”

“They’re not for me. Or not all of them, at least.”

“Well, they’re sure as hell not for me.”

“Listen, young Grasshopper, we shall ensure your happiness.”

You jumped to your feet and backed away. “I’m not sure what you’re smoking, but I think we need to sober you up.”

“Shut up,” Jiyeon grabbed a bra from one of the bags and threw it at your face. “You can never have too much sexy lingerie,” she reached into a bag again, “Look, there’s even sexy loungewear. We’re the same size, so I let Mona splurge. Take whatever you want, leave whatever you don’t want. But let’s get down to real business—you and Jungkookie, huh?”

“What are you talking about?” You busied yourself with looking through the clothes, trying to avoid the situation.

“Hoseok said he saw you guys making out on the bench yesterday.”

“And that’s where you’re wrong,” you snapped your fingers in her direction. “It was a kiss. That’s it.”

“And Tae?” At that moment, the doorbell rang and you turned your back to Jiyeon.

“Speak of the devil,” you muttered. You swung the door open to reveal Taehyung in one of his Gucci ensembles. He pulled off his Gucci jean jacket upon entering your humble abode and tossed it over the back of one of the chairs at the table before engulfing you in a hug, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Hey,” Taehyung gave you his signature boxed smile, walking further in to greet Jiyeon on the couch.

“Morning, Tae,” Jiyeon waved. “What’s got you so happy this morning? Oh, wait, you’re always happy.”

“That, I am. Are we having a lingerie party? Do I need to strip?” Tae reached down as if to unbuckle his belt, earning a death stare from your roommate. “Joking.” He pushed away some bras to clear a space for him to sit, slumping and throwing his arm across the back of the couch. “What did you and Hobi get down to last night, huh? He walked in at the crack ass of dawn looking like a ghoul. Freaky stuff?”

“Nothing freakier than what you do, butt-plug boy.”

“That was one time!” Taehyung groaned in exasperation, briefly glancing at you. “But don’t knock it till you try it. Maybe I’ll bring some next time,” Taehyung winked at you.

“Funny.”

“Oh, so there aren’t any strings attached?” Jiyeon peered at the both of you, as if this was some kind of breaking news that kept her on the edge of her seat. You desperately wanted to escape this situation—not because it was embarrassing, but because it just didn’t seem like that much of a pressing matter that your best friend needed to concern herself with.

Taehyung raised a perfect eyebrow, “We’re just friends. I can’t have a relationship with Y/N; that’s be weird.”

“There you have it, Jiyeon.” You clapped your hands together and plopped down on the floor.

“Friends that sleep together.” Jiyeon lowered her voice accusingly.

“I’m sure there’s a term for that, right, Tae?” You asked in false curiosity.

“Friends with benefits.”

“That’s the one,” you snapped, as if a light bulb blinked on above your head. “Why are you so interested, anyway?” You watched Taehyung pick up the TV remote and change the channel so some sci-fi movie that was playing, pulling a throw pillow into your lap and playing with the tassels.

“So what happens when you do get into a relationship?”

“You act like this is so complicated,” you huff, pressing the pillow flat in your lap. Taehyung had already zoned out so you were forced to explain on your own. “If either of us finds a relationship, we’re still friends. It’s not like this is a permanent engagement. Jiyeon, just chill out. I know how to handle myself.”

“I’m sure you do.” Jiyeon breathed a deep sigh, “And I hope Tae knows what he’s doing.” she grabbed the pillow she was laying on and slammed it against his chest, earning a loud ‘Oof” to her satisfaction. “I’m gonna go put these away.” Thus, Jiyeon started up again with her overdramatic groans, knowing damn well you wouldn’t help her with the chaos. A moment of silence passed and Tae gazed at the screen, as if he watching but not seeing what was actually happening. Your name left his lips quietly, and when you hummed in response, he just waved it off, saying ‘Nevermind’.

You stood up again and tapped Tae on the shoulder, “Want a drink?”

“Mmm,” Taehyung nodded, and you glanced at the television screen to see some huge alien creature in horrible computer graphics. You walked into the small kitchen and opened the refrigerator door, looking to see what the options were.

“Is lemonade okay with you, or did you want water?”

“Soju?”

“In the morning, Tae, really?” You looked through the fridge, checking even the doors and the drawers in case Jiyeon had hidden some for later. “We’re out.” You called back apologetically. But that didn’t rain on Tae’s parade. He stood and switched off the television, walking towards the door. When he swung it open, he stopped and waited. You blinked, confused.

“Well, are you coming?”

“I…” You weren’t exactly sure what to say.

“Let’s go pick up some drinks. Your fridge isn’t going to stock itself… Unless, you’ve got some secret restocking power and you just refuse to let me live a little.”

“You’re ridiculous,” you crack a smile. “But okay. Let me just go get changed.”

“What’s wrong with what you’re wearing?” Taehyung crossed his arms across his chest, “Dick-Me-Down shorts and a hoodie, my favorite ensemble on a girl. Besides nothing.”

“Ha-ha,” you laughed sarcastically. “These shorts aren’t even short,” you hummed, retreating to your bedroom to pull on a pair of jeans. After, you followed Tae down to the lobby where he led the way to the nearest liquor corner store, the brisk morning breeze keeping your bodies huddled together for just a little bit of warmth. The trip was nothing special, just a quick run, but once you’d bought the cases, Tae suggested stopping to eat. After a short wait, he brought out a tray of scones and two cups of tea. He set one before you before sipping his own. You expressed your thanks, taking a scone up and biting into it, but you couldn’t help but notice how Tae’s eyebrows furrowed together. He had been rather quiet today besides some random outbursts.

“So…”

You glanced up at Taehyung who had finally set his empty cup down. “What’s up?”

“Actually, I came this morning to tell you about our relationship.” You could tell where this was going, but you smiled. Really big. “I found someone.”

“You met a girl,” you squealed in the same moment he said ‘I found someone’. “Who is she, what’s she like? Did you…”

Taehyung blew a sigh of relief and grinned. “I met her at the diner the other day; I’m just trying to court her right now. I wanted to tell you, so things wouldn’t get messy but then Jiyeon…”

“No, I totally understand, Tae. I guess that’s why you’ve been acting kinda… out of it? I don’t know, you’re weird. And not your usual fun weird. Just dazed.”

“I think I like her. Like actually wanna settle down, like her.”

“Not just dial her and shimmy her out of her dick-me-down shorts?” Taehyung frowned at that. “I’m joking.” You rose your palms for emphasis. “So, what’s your next step?”

“Next step?”

“Did you get her number? Ask her out.”

“I did, but…”

“Where’s the confident Taehyung I ran into? Stop acting like such a wuss, go get her, tiger!” Taehyung blushed slightly, and he pinched his own cheeks, embarrassed.

“Then, I’ll invite her to the frat party tonight. I was just going to take you, but…”

“Don’t worry about me, Tae. I might just show up for the free booze, though.”

“And be my wing-woman?”

“I’ll think about it,” you smirked. And so, you listened to Taehyung spiel about this new girl. In a way, you were more than happy for him. It seemed like things were finally beginning to work out for you. Jungkook didn’t turn out to hate you, you finally finished that dreaded project, and you weren’t sexually frustrated. As much.

In just hours, you found yourself staring at your reflection in the mirror, clad in only the new lingerie Jiyeon had forced on you. Jiyeon lay across your bed, flipping through a beauty magazine.

“Why don’t I have anything to wear,” you groaned.

“Liar,” Jiyeon mumbled from where she lay. She glanced at you with a pointed look, making a point of the mountain of clothes you’d strewn across the room. “Why don’t you just wear that dress you bought for your devil costume last year?”

“The red one?”

“Yeah. Red will make you pop if you’re trying to catch a certain someone’s eye.” Jiyeon flipped a page. “It’s sexy and silky, and maybe he’ll get a peek of the lace bra at the neckline.”

“Isn’t that a bit much?”

“Maybe. Depends on the perspective,” Jiyeon sat up and crossed her legs under her. “Why are you so worried?”

“I... “ You couldn’t answer that, so you shut your mouth. You closed your eyes and thought about it—maybe that dress was your last chance. Besides, it wouldn’t hurt to feel sexy for the night; even if you were trying to convince yourself that you weren’t dressing up to play into the hands of a certain person. You pulled out the trunk of clothes in your closet and dug through it until you felt the silk material in your hands, a blood red color that stood out against your skin tone. With a bit of extra effort, holding your breath for record time, you were able to slip on the dress. You gazed at your reflection again.

“Looks good,” you whispered to yourself before peeking at the time. The party should have started by now. You quickly did your makeup and pulled on the killer black stilettos before waving goodbye to Jiyeon and scrambling to the frat house across campus. Music bumped loudly in the distance, but it wasn’t too unreasonable. You entered the house having to squeeze past sweaty bodies, and while you’d been wondering if you should go back to grab a jacket, the very thought had been abandoned once you made it inside. It was humid inside.

The first person you recognized was Yoongi, sitting in a corner with some other people you didn’t know with a blunt rolled between his fingers and a red solo cup in the other. He was obviously not very coherent. You glanced around to see if you could find anyone else.

An arm suddenly flew across your shoulders, “Hey.” You looked up to see a stranger, his eyes wandering a bit too low. But in a way, it was your fault. You gave him a small smile and pushed him away gently.

“I’m here with someone.” You had to yell in order for the dude to hear, and he leaned in close in order to reply. You couldn’t help but get just a little annoyed; why not just leave it at that?

“Oh, are you? Is this someone a guy?” His eyes narrowed, as is suspecting you of something.

“Yeah, that guy would be me. Piss off, Seoeon,” you were relieved to see Seokjin at your side. The guy named Seoeon gruffly sighed before pushing past your brother and disappearing into the crowd. “You have to be more firm, Y/N,” Jin squeezed your shoulder protectively. “I know you’re an adult, but I’m still your big bro.”

“Yeah, and fifty years from now when we’re old and pruned up like raisins, you’ll still be my elder brother, Jin.” You rolled your eyes but appreciated the sentiment. “Where’s Ju--Taehyung? He invited me and asked me to be his wingwoman,” you tried to escape your little mistake by justifying your presence.

“Well, Jungkook,” Jin emphasized the name, “Is upstairs setting up a game of Spin the Bottle as per my request. Tae is chatting up some girl in the kitchen. If I may offer a bit of advice to the wingwoman?”

“Spit it out.”

“Tell Tae to bring his lady friend to play spin the bottle. I know a way for him to get his way.” You nodded. If Jin could help out his frat brother, maybe he could help you out, too. But at that point, you had become too embarrassed to say it out loud and he had already made his ascent upstairs to help Jungkook and assumedly rig the bottle. You pushed past more couples and broke your way into the kitchen, seeing Taehyung grin brightly at a pretty girl. She was petite, and appeared to be really shy from the way she covered her mouth everytime Taehyung elicited a laugh from her. But it was cute, even you could admit it. You walked up to the two, reaching between them to grab a vodka bottle.

“Hey, Tae, who’s your lady friend?” You moved to your friends side and smiled at the girl, who awkwardly gazed up at you.

“This is Somin,” Taehyung smiled warmly at her. “Somin, this is my friend, Y/N; she’s Seokjin’s sister.”

“Nice to meet you,” you offered a hand that she shyly accepted. As shy as she was, she seemed to warm up quickly.

“Why don’t we move this party upstairs?” You caught Somin’s attention and slyly winked at Taehyung. “I heard there’s a game going on up there, so why don’t we grab some bottles and head up. Probably better than just standing around.”

“Sounds good. How about it?” Taehyung egged her on, and in the end, she agreed. You led the way upstairs and walked in through the only open door to find a circle of people crowding a soju bottle. Your eyes automatically found Jungkook, who was more focused on cheering for some couple to hurry up and kiss already.

“Oh! Look who’s here.” Jin stood from the circle. “Why don’t we switch up the game?” The girl who had been hesitant to initiate the kiss sat back and looked away, clearly saved from the situation.

“What?” Jungkook’s voice alone was already making you squirm.

“7 Minutes in Heaven. Does that sound alright?” The circle of people began to ‘whoop’ in excitement, but Jungkook just sat there, probably suscpisious of the sudden change. “Are you playing, Y/n?”

“No, I don’t think so,” you said, just because Jin was a part of the circle. Although you could remember he was able to rig the game.

“Don’t be a killjoy,” someone yelped, and another voice joined in.

“Afraid of meeting a bad kisser?”

“Think you’re too hot, hot stuff?”

You rolled your eyes at what you were hearing. It was a pretty big circle so you wondered is Jin would really be able to pull it off.

“I’m not playing this round; I’ll just be timekeeper.” That drew a small ‘aw’. “Tae, sit here.” Jin moved away slightly, instructing Somin where to sit. You noticed he dropped something behind her, and before you knew it, you were watching the small story unfold. Since Somin was a new face and had just sat down—or at least that was the reasoning they used—she spun first. The first time, it landed on herself.

“Does that mean I have seven minutes to myself,” she joked.

“Funny,” Jungkook laughed beside her. “Spin again.” You felt something bubble in the pit of your belly. What if it landed on him? You closed your eyes and breathed. It probably wouldn’t. Right? Jin seemed confident enough.

Somin spun the bottle again, and the crowd ‘ooh’ed. Tae.

“Okay, okay, into the closet.” Jin was grinning like the Cheshire Cat. “Time starts...Now.” He pressed a button on his phone before leaning against the closet door. “Let’s do a round of shots in the meantime. Vodka?”

“I’ll pour,” a stranger placed some shot glasses on the floor before him, filling them up. When he finished passing them around the circle, he raised a glass for you. You took it and threw it back easily, your eyes wandering towards Jungkook. He was engaged in conversation with a few different people in the circle. You observed his actions. You hadn’t spoken a word to him since the day he’d kissed you on the bench, but you were sure there were no feelings of hostility left over.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Jin knocked on the door and waited for a moment before opening it to reveal a disheveled couple with bruised and swollen lips. You almost laughed at how dazed Taehyung looked, his eyes glossed over as if he could cry from joy. Had he fallen so hard so quickly?

“We’re gonna go,” Somin announced boldy, a hue of pink spreading across her cheeks. You smiled just faintly. Things had obviously gone well.

“One more round then?” Jin held up his phone to show he was restarting the timer. “Hey, live a little, Y/N. It probably won’t even land on you.” What a weirdo, you thought. How could your brother be encouraging this? Nevertheless, you sat down on the floor in Taehyung’s previous spot and watched as someone stepped up to spin the bottle. Although Jin had proclaimed one round, he ended leaving in the midst of that first seven minutes, leaving you to just watch the stories unfold.

Then it was your turn. Everyone’s gaze landed on you, waiting in anticipation of who the bottle would land on. Was it too late to back out? If it landed on Jungkook, would it still be Seven Minutes in Heaven, or would it turn into some altered reality of Hell? What if it wasn’t Jungkook? You squeezed your eyes shut and blew through your lips, nervous. Live a little. But the thought still rang in your head; the bottle hadn’t landed on Jungkook at all since the game had started. You grasped the bottle firmly, preparing to turn it.

“We don’t have all night,” a girl mumbled, and you nodded, spinning the object. It spun a little off course but landed the same, in between a random girl and a boy who obviously was a bit too excited.

“Let’s go.”

“I’ll do it.” Jungkook caught the room’s attention.

“What?”

“When Seokjin isn’t here, I’m supposed to make sure she doesn’t end up in some dude’s bed. She’s drunk so I’m sure this won’t end well; let’s go, man.”

“No, what the hell?” The dude stood from his seat and approached you, taking hold of your wrist. “Closet. Now.”

“Aren’t you a bit too excited? It’s just a game.” Jungkook was provoking him. The stranger’s eyes locked on Jungkook with menace and he almost threw your hand down.

“Something wrong with having a little fun in a game? I’m just going by the rules, Jeon.” The stranger stomped over to Jungkook and bunched up the front of Jungkook’s shirt in his fist. You furrowed your eyebrows, worried. Jungkook smirked and leaned in, whispering something into his ears. After a few moments of silence, the crowd trying to string together what he was saying, the overly-excited stranger started up a storm of curses and left the room.

“So spin?” The same girl from before said.

“Go ahead,” Jungkook stood and approached you, offering a hand. You avoided eye contact, feeling too embarrassed. “Come on.” You took his hand. Jungkook led you down the hall to his room, closing the door behind you both.

“Shouldn’t we go back to the party?” You fidgeted with the hem of your dress, suddenly aware once again of what you had opted into wearing.

“So more guys can hit on you?”

“There was only one,” you thought back to when you had just arrived. “Maybe I should just go home.”

“You could,” Jungkook nodded, not facing you. “If you really want to.” You heard his tone change, almost mockingly. When you didn’t say anything, he peeked at you from over his shoulder and licked his lips, contemplating what to say. “Do you want a drink?”

“Uh,” you paused. Maybe you should leave, but at this point, you really didn’t want to. You nodded and allowed Jungkook to reach into the top of his closet and pull out a bottle of rum.

“Truth or dare?” Jungkook sat on the bed next to you, leaning against the wall to face you straight. When you didn’t object, he added, “Take a sip after each question. Maybe you’ll be forced to choose dare.” You rolled your eyes. “So, truth or dare?”

“Truth,” you answered.

“How many boyfriends have you had?” He studied your face curiously, as if trying to pick up the honesty.

“Three,” and he took a sip of the rum and passed you the bottle. You smiled, “Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” your eyes widened, a bit shocked. You had expected him to start with dare, but you were pleased with this route anyway.

“Why did you really stop that guy?”

“Which one,” Jungkook leaned forward and forced you to help him take another swig of the golden liquid. You gave him a pointed look and he chuckled, “You wouldn’t want to kiss him. You’d much rather kiss me.”

“That’s your answer?” When Jungkook nodded, you took your swig. It went back and forth like that, an occasional dare here and there, but soon enough, the alcohol took its effect. You ended up closer to Jungkook than you’d originally been. Your hands reached up to cradle his face, your palms cold against the warmth of his cheeks. Without realizing, your thumb brushed across his lips.

“I think you need lip balm,” you laughed, your head falling to his chest. “Your lips are dry.”

“So?” You glanced up to see him raising a perfect eyebrow, unconcerned with this new information.

“I’ll fix it.” You reached into your purse and pulled out the little container.

“I don’t want it,” Jungkook shielded his lips. You moved closer, squeezing some onto the tip of your finger to put on his lips. “Y/N, no.” Jungkook’s voice dropped dangerously low and you stopped all movement.

“Fine.” You smeared the balm across your lips and slumped. When he visibly calmed down, you launched yourself at Jungkook, causing the both of you to roll across the bed and fall to the floor. You fell on top of him, his body softening the blow quite a lot.

“Fuck,” Jungkook winced in pain, rubbing his head. You peered down at him. “What are you doing?” He turned his head to look at you, and you took it as an opening. You lowered yourself in order to press your lips to his, and he immediately kissed you back. You could taste the rum as his lips moved fluidly against yours. Your body grew warmer and when your hand slipped under his shirt to outline his stomach, he pulled away, his deep eyes peering into you.

“Not on the floor,” he whispered, helping you to get situated on his bed. And he was right; the bed was much more comfortable. He pulled himself up and climbed on top of you, almost admiring you from where he was. Jungkook kissed you again, this time with a sort of hunger eating him up. His hands moved to caress your breast and you felt your body burn with desire. His lips were so warm and so soft; you were wrapped in the thought that nothing existed besides just the two of you. The loud music in the background faded and you could only focus on his every touch.

He kissed down your cheek and collarbone before you mustered the courage to pull his shirt up, your hands shaking with excitement. When you couldn’t pull it off with one tug, he helped you and threw it into a far corner. He was encouraging you. And while you were sure the alcohol had made you just a little bit more bold, you would have wanted it all the same sober. Your hands flew to his pants, unzipping the fly and exposing his boxers. You didn’t know exactly when, but your dress had been hitched up and your panties had been removed, somewhere forgotten.

You felt your pussy sleek with wetness.

You pressed your lips to Jungkook’s chest and kissed down until you reached his clothed dick, growing hard with each passing moment. You hooked your fingers into the waistband of his boxers and yanked it down, beholding the glory of his dick. The very thought of worshipping his cock made you keel over and move down to better satisfy him and yourself. You began by kissing the tip, and when he twitched, you had to hold his cock steady.

“Fuck,” Jungkook groaned, his body producing a sheen of sweat. He was bare before you. You took him into your mouth; he was fully on hard now. You savored the way he tasted and the way he felt on your tongue. You hummed, feeling a state of euphoria while your mouth hollowed around his cock. Jungkook arched into your mouth, the tip hitting the back of your throat. You lick a stripe down the length, pausing to suck at the balls before pressing a thumb against the slit as you stared at him. His eyes squeezed shut, and when he realized you hadn’t moved, he brushes the hair away from your face to better see the blush fanning your face.

“Please,” he whimpered, and his state of being ignited something in you. Normally, Jungkook was the one who had you begging and whining, but now he was a shaking mess in front of you. He tried to grasp his dick in his own hands but you moved him away, lapping up the precum forming. You jerk him steadily, and when you felt the tension in his body begin to release, you stopped, watching him wind down before starting up a whole round. You took pleasure in watching him come so close to releasing before being forced to try and finish himself off. His eyes tear up and you smile innocently at him.

It’s playtime.

You love the feeling of feeling him quiver and shake as you reduce him to nothing with just your mouth. While he obviously dwarfed you with his height and usually forced you to realize that he had some sort of power over you, you took great pleasure in seeing how he seemed so much easier to control with his cock before you. Seeing him destroyed and begging sends a thrill up your spine and excitement to your gut.

“Stop,” Jungkook suddenly yelled out, “Stop teasing me.” Your head bobbed on his cock, deeper and deeper to the point where you knew eventually you’d have a sore throat, but it didn’t matter. You grip his thighs, feeling your head spin in pleasure. You begin to get too wrapped up in yourself, just wanting to feel him in your mouth, and he takes advantage of that. Jungkook moves so you have better access, his whimpering coming to a slow but sure stop as he just breathes heavily. When you start to come up, he simply forces your head down again, basking in your muffled moans. While you gently scrape the skin of his cock, he jerks his hips up, driving his cock down your throat. You gag, but its a moment of pure pleasure.

He removes himself to give you a breather, but you were too entranced with the thought of his cock. You didn’t just want him in your mouth anymore. “Fuck me,” you finally whispered after a few moments of just staring. Without hesitation, Jungkook pushed you back onto the bed and climbed on top of you, hitching the dress higher up your body until your stomach was bared to him. He slipped a hand under the silk and pinched a nipple, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger.

“No bra?”

“Not with this dress,” you reply breathily. His body pressed against yours and you felt his cock on your inner thigh, still slick with your saliva. He paused to roll a condom onto the head of his cock, kissing butterflies across your jawline. Jungkook leaned down to press a kiss on your collarbone before positioning himself just right and rocking into you with a single powerful thrust. The action knocked the wind out of you, your head bumping into the headboard just barely.

“Sorry,” he whispered, placing a pillow for you. You shook your head, your hands clinging to him and nails digging into his back without caring if it left a mark.

“Again.” You thought you saw the faintest of a smug smile as Jungkook reeled himself for another stroke, pounding into you. Each thrust was more powerful than the last, and you didn’t know if you were actually beginning to see stars.

You felt soreness between your legs. You blinked the sleep away and took in your surroundings. Your body was incredibly warm. You looked over your shoulder to see Jungkook’s body pressed to your back. He looked so peaceful. It was hard to believe he was quivering beneath you just hours earlier.

A wave of embarrassment washed over you and you felt the need to go to the bathroom. When you tried to get up, Jungkook’s hold on you tightened. His hot breath fanned your neck, causing you to erupt into goosebumps. You felt your core tighten.

“You’re warm. Don’t leave.”

His voice was husky; raspy from his state of sleep. You couldn’t help the moan that escaped your lips, and even more so when his cock grew against the curve of your ass. “Mmm,” he hummed, pulling you closer to him. “Round Two?”

#bts smut #jungkook smut #jeongguk smut #jeon jungkook #jeongguk scenarios #jungkook #BTS jungkook #jungkook scenarios #jungkook x reader

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davidchill · 5 years

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This Is My Truth - The Final Blog (For Now)

After over ten years of writing a personal blog I feel that now would be a good time to wrap things up. I’m sure I’ll still write blogs from time-to-time, but they’ll be a completely different animal to this curious beast.

Social media has changed an awful lot over the years. As I scroll through my timeline this morning all I see are snappy memes, gifs, people arguing with strangers about the perils of Brexit, and sponsored posts based on my browsing habits.

Another thing that’s changed is how people engage and interact with others. Over the years I’ve seen friends who appeared to be warm and affable suddenly go stone cold and aloof, virtually overnight. Typed communication can often be misinterpreted or misconstrued, and I have, on a few occasions, tried to strike up friendships with people who I’ve genuinely liked, only for their shields to go up - and I watch them vanish at warp speed.

The truth has always been important to me - so when people lie in order to make their lives easier I find myself distancing myself from them so they don’t need to lie anymore. But I can’t judge anyone. Lying is easy. Anyone can lie. How many lies have got people out of awkward social situations without damaging the friendship? Thousands, I would imagine. The truth is much harder to swallow at times. So if you’ve found this blog to be a difficult read then that’s certainly not a bad thing.

Of course, a few “friends” haven’t stayed the course, and opted to “unfriend” or “unfollow” me on social media for posting “too many dog photos” or “too many blogs on mental health”. Well… all I can offer here is my “sperm” analogy…

“Out of the approximately 1,000 sperm that enter the fallopian tube, only about 200 reach the egg. The rest get attached to the lining of the oviduct, or just give out and die. Out of the approximately 200 sperm that reach the egg, only one fertilizes the egg.”

If you’ve stuck by me on Facebook during the most turbulent period of my life (between 2014 and the present day) then consider yourself a healthy sperm. The others might resurface in a few years when everything in my life is hunky-dory and say “Is it safe to be your friend again?” but they have no chance of reaching the egg.

In this case the “egg” is a metaphor for my “circle of trust”.

Friends don’t fall off the radar when you struggle with your mental health, and nor do they sit back and watch you struggle financially when they *could* throw you a bone. Oh, and they certainly don’t walk away when you share anecdotes about your dog.

So if you are still with me - thank you. And if you’re sitting comfortably then let’s begin...

Keeping the Faith

For much of my adult life I never had a huge amount of faith in myself. Too many crushing doubts played on my mind as to what role I had in this world - or even if I had a part to play. My creative abilities were certainly brought into question, as I lie awake at night wondering when people would wake up and give me the same amount of judgement and scrutiny that I subjected myself to on a daily basis.

Despite a very happy home life I was a prime target for the school bullies - thanks to a winning combination of ginger hair and small, round head - so it’s hardly surprising that I entered adulthood with several insecurities and a huge chip on my shoulder. Children can be cruel and wretched creatures at times. Snotty-nosed brats.

Throughout college I drew comic strips at every available opportunity and was always genuinely flabbergasted when my peers told me how talented and gifted I was - and how much they loved my sense of humour. Well, my written word - as I was practically mute in those days. “You’d be funny if you spoke!” commented one guy.

While most of the students gallivanted off to university I chose not to pursue further education and opted to get a “real” job in order to feed my comic book addiction. So for the next six or seven years I took on a variety of roles… packing plastic, kennel hand, factory worker.

I’m not sure what my parents thought of me coming home covered in dog poo and toner dust - but my duties were the perfect cover for an artistic creative soul who had zero faith in his abilities. I couldn’t fail.

Unfortunately my cover was blown in 1998 when my line manager insisted on promoting me to “champion operator” - a job that involved assembly work, but also gave me the opportunity to walk around with a bit of paper and use the new fangled “e-mail” system that was becoming popular in the workplace. “What is this wizardry?” I asked myself, as I bluffed my way through the job.

It was during this time that I was asked to give a PowerPoint presentation to an office full of co-workers and the type of senior management you’d cross the street to avoid if you saw them out shopping on a Saturday morning. When the CEO gave his feedback on the presentations he threw the spotlight on me and said; “David, I thought you were excellent.”

Swine. “I’m a fraud I tell you!” (I didn’t actually say that out loud)

Thankfully, just before my head expanded to dangerous levels of self belief I was made redundant from the position. This was no reflection on me - the whole company went under. Nothing to do with my “excellent” presentation skills or the time I spent walking around with a bit of paper.

The following year I was inflicted with a condition called spasmodic torticollis and forced to take three months off work. In English; I suffered with a severe muscle spasm in my neck. As a result, my chin was permanently touching my shoulder and only lying down made me feel “normal”. We didn’t have box sets to lift the mood in those days, so it was an extremely dark chapter in my life. I was pumped full of valium, I couldn’t drive or walk the dog, and my mother had to chop my food up for me.

Eventually, after a series of tests, the consultant told me I’d have to have injections in my neck - but this wouldn’t guarantee success. Truth be told I became very low and depressed - but, with the support of my friends and family, I got through each day. One of my church friends even picked me up, took me to church, and prayed for me. This wasn’t like my “last rites” or anything, I hasten to add.

One day, as I walked into town, all hunched up and averting eye contact - something very peculiar happened. My head wasn’t tilting to one side anymore and I found myself walking in a STRAIGHT line. “What is this hogwashery?!” I thought to myself. “I’m walking with my head in an upright position!”

The specialist who mooted the idea of injections then examined me, scratched his head, and concluded that I was some kind of weird “enigma”. Yes, it took three months of pain, frustration and fear to reach the conclusion that I was a bit odd. Blimey, I didn’t need to go through all that to work that one out.

The Slippery Slope

Several years later, and after being made redundant three times between 1998 and 2003, I was beginning to think I was cursed.

In 2006 I quit full-time employment and went down the “self-employed” route - mostly focusing on wedding websites for the subsequent eight years. On reflection that was far too long to spend on one endeavour, and a few close friends urged me to expand my portfolio. Again, I felt “safe” doing wedding websites, the money was coming in, and I didn’t want to run the risk of straying too far. However, I should have taken the advice given to Peter Davison when Patrick Troughton advised him to only play the Doctor for three years. Eight years is a very long time in the world of technological advances, and I became the Ken Barlow of wedding websites.

Looking back, it’s not surprising the work had a detrimental impact on my mental health. I poured my heart and soul into those blasted websites, and sometimes sat up until 3am to please my transatlantic Bridezillas. Sometimes Groomzillas. No, I didn’t *have* to, but when I take on a role I like to give it my all.

Unfortunately because my “office” was then based in my bedroom I could never “switch off” and those sites consumed me to a point where my anxiety and depression deepened. The line between business and pleasure just became far too blurred and it became a seven day week thing.

After all the stress of moving into my maisonette (and then buying the maisonette) I still found the websites to be an extremely negative factor in my mental health. Things got on top of me and I’d begin to procrastinate… put off tasks, until, eventually, I hit my brick wall. My dark place.

Enter Luna, the Staffordshire Bull Terrier X Akita, who took a lot of stick for being the author of my demise. No, she was merely the straw that broke the camels back.

Before I knew it, I lost my regular income after being told that my services were no longer required. Sadly, despite being told that my salary would be safe until January 2014, it was then slashed by £500 for two months on the trot. November and December, respectively.

Suddenly, I had this huge financial hole to fill… and a mortgage to pay. When you lose £1000 without sufficient forewarning then what do you do? No money from extra part-time work would have reached me in time - even if my mind had been “fit” to work. The anxiety just consumed me, and the mind starts imagining these highly unlikely scenarios… My neck condition might flare up again… I might lose the dog… I might lose my home.

Okay, that last one actually happened.

People often tell me that debt is a slippery slope that should be avoided at all costs. People who’ve never experienced debt to the extent that I did. My friends, I’ve taken to that slope. I’m the Eddie “the Eagle” Edwards of the slippery slope.

So yes, I know that debt begins very slowly... and it gradually creeps up on you… the £5 penalty charge on your emergency borrowing becomes £10, £15, £20… and then you’re late with the gas and electric bill… and then BOOM! You’ve lost your home and overzealous cleaners are pulling things off your wall as you struggle to pack everything into boxes.

I lost more that day than I can ever put into words, and I’ve hated myself for it ever since.

Yes, people made my life more difficult than it needed to be, and some people could have helped more - rather than just telling me it’d all be okay. But I lost everything because I lost faith in myself.

There’s No Guarantors

Today, eighteen months after losing my home, I’m sat here writing a business plan - and I find myself in this role reversal. Almost like a weird mirror universe from Star Trek. Suddenly, for perhaps the first time in my life, I have faith in myself - but others are doubting my judgement, or have very little faith in my abilities.

Whenever I hear that someone has been awarded a business loan I punch the air [on their behalf]. Even if it’s someone on Twitter who I don’t know very well - I always make a point of congratulating them and wishing them well in their new endeavour. Or endeavor if they’re American.

With me, I expect a few would question if I knew what I was doing.

Not that I was awarded a business loan, but I came very close. Honestly, my heart sank when Eugene (the guy from the bank) uttered the words “We just need your guarantor…”

Guarantor? Me? Find a guarantor? He might as well have asked me to find the hair of a Sasquatch, a stool sample of a dodo, and the DNA of William the Conqueror.

“Hey, dear,” says a friend, turning to his partner. “David C. Hill is looking for a guarantor for his business loan. You in?” “The same David C. Hill with the anxiety issues?” “Yep.” “The same David C. Hill who had 5,000 comic books printed without testing the market?” “Yep.” “The same David C. Hill who lost his home after falling into a horrifying amount of debt?” “Yes, dear. You in?”

Yes, I had to ask… but of course I can’t blame anyone for not rising to the challenge.

My new bank friend, Eugene, then followed up with a phone call to assure me that the £10,000 funding would be granted if I could give him a name. So I looked at Luna, and for that brief moment her eyes just said “Don’t look at me!”

The “Homer Simpson” in me thought about seeing how far I could go with this guarantor lark. “John. My guarantor’s name is John. John Smith. His address? 12… Evergreen Terrace.”

Sadly, it’s going to be almost impossible for me to come back from that defeat of losing my home. That sort of thing sticks. It’s like I have “not good with money” or “dog who returns to his vomit” scrawled on my forehead. It’s akin to someone on a dodgy register trying to acquire a job as a school caretaker.

No, to paraphrase Tiffany, the pop goddess of 1987… “I think I’m alone now.”

People will argue that if my business plan was that convincing then I wouldn’t need a guarantor. However, these days banks are far more guarded when it comes to funding businesses. I don’t have any assets therefore I need someone with assets to have my back. My 27” iMac won’t cut the mustard as an asset.

Anyway, I’m sure most people can find a guarantor with relative ease. If a guarantor was such a ridiculous concept then requiring a guarantor wouldn’t even be a thing. According to the website, 98% of businesses are successfully funded. So I guess that places me in the 2% camp.

It’s been a week of bad news, and it would be so easy for me to slip into a depression and consume my body weight in wine gums. My car payment has just bounced and I have more rent due in ten days, and now I’m telling people that without funding my business can’t move forward.

I know the rich frown upon those who have to take out loans, and in the last few years I’ve seen the rich grow considerably richer. But I don’t think some people realise how rich they are, and how, if they need something, they can just go out and buy it - or ask their rich family to chip in. Of course most people have worked very hard for their wealth - but the majority of people do work very hard. I know at least two nurses who work for the NHS and they work exceptionally gruelling shifts. So one should never judge the rich - or the poor.

Yes, some people do inherit wealth or marry into rich families, so not all the rich work hard - and not everyone who’s poor works hard either. Sometimes ill-health doesn’t permit you to work long hours - and yes, lazy work shy fops do exist.

If I have to calumniate £5,000 or £10,000 worth of debt in order to make £20k then I’ll do it. All businesses need funding and we don’t all have savings to inject into our cashflow. People who don’t have debt a get bit sniffy about it, but there’s no shame in having manageable debt - and sometimes it’s a necessary evil.

Final Words

There’s always a way forward. Sometimes its not about working harder - it’s about working smarter. And I have enough faith in myself to know that I can work smarter. I’ll find a way forward, even if I do have to accrue debt - even if I have to march into hell for a heavenly cause. People will call me batcrap crazy, and people will cast doubt on me, but that’s to be expected. Life is very short, memories are very precious, and sometimes those of us who want to achieve our goals need to take calculated risks.

My greatest fear is losing faith in myself - because that will be the day that I die. But that’s never going to happen. I mean losing faith in myself - I fully except to die one day! I’m not Connor MacLeod, Mister Immortal, or Captain Jack Harkness.

Thank you to those who have helped me over the last few years - and those who continue to support my work. Make no mistake, when I’m rich I’m not going to live in a huge castle, pull up the drawbridge and yell “Let them eat cake!”. I’m going to live in a modest dwelling and help those who have helped me in the past.

That’s my guarantee.

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