#and i just have to have this knowledge in my head til i can finish the finale tomorrow .

[nillial]

just finished ethersea finale pt 1

#hush lillian #taz spoilers #taz ethersea spoilers #AAAAGAHHGHHHHHH #OIUYGHHGHGHGHHHHHHHHH #OUUUUUUUUUGAGAGAGAHHHH #OKAY SPOILERS NOW DONT READ THESE. #<----- is listening like one full year after the finale came out #DEVO WAS THE VOICE . D #DEVO WAS THE CALL #THAT IS SUUUCCHHHH A GOOD FUCKING TWIST OHHH MY GOD !!!! OH MY GOD . HE WAS THE FUCKING CALL #I DONT HAVE TIME TO LISTEN TO THE FINALE PT 2 RN BUT IM WRITHING ON THE GROUND . PLEAAAAAASEEEEEEE LET AMBER COME BACK #AND ZOOX IS . I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO FEEL ABOUT ZOOX I HOPE HES OKAY ? I GUESS HES OKAY ? #but OHHHH MY GODDDD AMBER . AMBER . AMBER . I AM WRITHING ON THE FLOOR . AMBER . #I AM BEGGING ON MY KNEES LET HER COME BACK . IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO HER IM GOING THROUGH A VICTORIAN WIDOW MOURNING PERIOD #PLEASE . PLEASE . PLEASE . #wheres that one picture of the evangelion kid in despair on the floor Thats what i feel like right now #and i just have to have this knowledge in my head til i can finish the finale tomorrow . #i have to think about Regular Things . like a Normal Person Would . and not the Wellbeing of a Dungeons and Dragons Podcast Character #okay im done now 👍 until i listen to part 2 at which point ill be evil again

[princessbrunette]

jj def the type of boyf to help you take off ur makeup properly and do your skincare routine for you if ur tired or just not feeling yourself that day , he knows every step from watching you like a puppy everynight :(( - 🍮

⋆₊♡⊹ ˖ ݁˚ 𖥔 ݁˖ ˖ ˚ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ⊹♡₊⋆

whenever you were sad, jj always went the extra mile to make you smile without forcing you to talk about the problem ‘til you’re ready. this time around, you’re sat on the sink of your bathroom, your skincare items lined up beside you as you pout, just having finished crying off your makeup and having jj help you wash it off.

“alright, what’s the next step… next step, next step…” he mutters to himself, eyeing the miscellaneous bottles and tubs as he wiggles his fingers pensively.

“cleanse—”

“cleanser,” he interrupts louder, pretending he thought of it by himself. he gives you an obvious smile, shaking his head before surprisingly reaching for the right bottle. “knew that.”

he uncaps it, carefully pouring the liquid to make a pool in his cupped palm instead of onto a cotton pad like you usually do it. you frown, watching him dip two fingers into the watery liquid before smearing it on your face in random places like it was war paint.

“jj, that is not how you apply it—” he can hear the amused lilt to your sniffly voice, knowing his methods of entertainment had to be somewhat working on your mood and his lip flicks up into a near smile at this, pleased with himself.

“ah ah, i’ll have you know i’m the skincare professional here. i went to cosmonatology school to gain this important knowledge, thank you—”

“cosmetology.” you correct and he scoffs.

“pfft, shows how much you know.” he rubs the rest into your face before stepping back, widening his arms. “voila. see? i think this might be my calling.”

you let the smile sink onto your swollen lips, wet eyes blinking slowly like a pleased cat. you were so in love with him.

“what’s the next step?” you ask happily, softly.

“uh, lemme think, the next step.” he mutters, stepping into your space. “i think kisses, pro’lly— yeah that sounds right.” his voice drops lower as he brings you in, kissing you. jj always knew how to make you feel better.

⋆₊♡⊹ ˖ ݁˚ 𖥔 ݁˖ ˖ ˚ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ⊹♡₊⋆

#🍮 anon #jj maybank prompt

[hana-no-seiiki]

星を探す瞳が好き

(MOSTLY IMPLIED) SOFT YANDERE! RIN ITOSHI x IDOL! READER

(ft. Sae x Reader’s Twin)

warnings: short reader, reader is older than rin, otherwise reader’s looks and info aren’t specified. all my knowledge comes from fics and wiki searching so i apologize if he’s ooc (even for a yandere)

might make a sae x reader / a fic but in the twin’s pov in the future if the brainrot persists

It had been a while since you’ve seen your twin brother’s boyfriend’s younger brother (that was a mouthful).

And you . . .

Well you barely even reached his shoulders.

And he’s two years your junior.

Throughout the dinner you four attended at home, you couldn’t help but glare at the handsome young man the entire time. Which in turn caused the meal to be hella awkward

Your brother and Sae didn’t really engage in PDA, at least verbally. Both preferred actions rather than professing their affections through words (You couldn’t count the amount of times Sae had made out with your brother after their matches on field).

And well, Rin is Rin.

So you were implicitly put in charge of creating conversation.

But Rin’s growth spurt just made you feel so jealous you couldn’t think of anything to say aside from ‘Damn you!’ or ‘Why????’.

Your annoyance was so obvious that even Rin himself noticed it. The dude with zero friends and social experience.

“You alright?” He asked, assisting you with the dishes.

“Huh? Yeah.” You averted your eyes, rubbing the sponge a little too hard on the poor plate.

“Did I . . . do something wrong?”

“What? No! It’s just — “ You put down the ceramic. Still avoiding eye contact with the younger Itoshi. “I’m . . . a little jealous of your genes that’s all.”

“My genes?”

“You grew up so quickly. I have to bend my neck to oblivion just to look at you directly.”

“But your height is part of your charm?”

“Huh?”

“It’s cute.” He took the plate and rinsed it. You could feel him staring at you intently. “Besides isn’t being shorter better for dancing?”

“Not when you’re as short as I am.” You continued doing the dishes with a sigh, pausing after properly digesting his words. “Hang on. Back up a moment will ya. You know I dance?”

“I . . . I watched all of your performances.”

“Ehhh . . . “ You nodded a few times . . . and then realized what his words meant. Finally rotating your head to face him, you yelled, “E H H H ? ! ? “

“I thought football was all you thought about!”

Now that you looked at him and can see his face, you noticed a slight flinching due to your volume. However it was quickly replaced with the smallest of smiles. “It used to be. My teammates listen to your songs a lot during practice and it just sort of stuck with me.”

“Point is. I like that part about you. I’m sure many of your fans do too.”

Before you two finish by drying everything with a towel, you spray a bit of water on Rin with your hands causing a bit of war. A really wet one.

It was about to get even wetter when you threatened to use a bowl of water but Rin beat you by caging your body and trapping your arms to the sink’s edge.

His face was inches from yours.

“Rin?”

He soon let go of your limbs, using his hand to trace your features. From your eyelids, to your cheeks and then your lips. He puts a little pressure with his thumb, almost inserting it into your mouth.

Then, his teal eyes met yours. His long, pretty under lashes mesmerized you, almost distracting you from the fact that his large figure was suffocating yours.

“I’d say you’re pretty luck when it comes to genes.”

EXTRA:

Rin lived and breathed football. Every moment was dedicated towards his passion.

That was still the case til now. It just so happened that his passion included you.

“Rin!” He recognized that voice immediately. He’s surprised he didn’t get whiplash with how fast his head swerved to meet your form.

“[Y/N]—?“

“Got a copy of your jersey! What do ya think ? “ You gave him a little spin, letting him see how the jersey basically swallowed you whole. He makes a mental note to slip in one of his used ones into your wardrobe. He was adept at discreetly taking stuff out of it anyways.

He was so flustered that he completely forgot to respond, so you opted to take his silence as approval, “I’m guessing you like it?” You winked. You’ve gotten a lot bolder since the reunion dinner and acted a lot more like your ‘idol’ self around him at times. He didn’t know whether he liked it or not. On one hand it was the personality he fell for at the beginning, on the other it was getting increasingly more difficult not to take you.

“Mhm.” He nodded. Fists clenched so tight he could feel some blood leaking. Self control was just so hard when he was around you.

“Is that . . . the [L/N] [Y/N]?” He heard his teammates holler behind him.

He grimaced, knowing they’ll hog your attention for the following moments.

But at least that means both of you were safe from his aching lust and obsession this time.

星を探す瞳が好き　

hoshi wo sagasu hitomi ga suki

— Those eyes that search for the stars, I love them / I love those eyes that search for the stars

— Lyrics for D4DJ Photon Maiden’s 暁 Akatsuki (Dawn)

#yandere #yandere x reader #bllk #yandere rin #yandere rin itoshi #yandere itoshi rin #yandere rin x reader #yandere bllk #bllk x reader #yandere rin itoshi x reader #yandere blurb #yandere imagine #yandere bllk x reader #yandere itoshi rin x reader #soft yandere #soft yandere x reader #yandere comfort #short reader #tw yandere #blue lock #yandere blue lock #blue lock x reader #yandere blue lock x reader #yandere blue lock x you #yandere bllk x you #yandere x you

[stevenose]

art dealer!steve - 1/?

landing page

this installment contains: oral sex (steve receiving); gender unspecified reader; office oral sex/oral sex on the phone

sucking off art dealer!steve under the big antique table in his office while he’s doing business over the phone. starting off by kissing his thighs and tickling them with your lashes before moving up to press gentle kisses to his cock. getting a little pat on the head and a honey, please before he has to switch into business mode. you’re in his office to learn the trade, which is really, genuinely what this started out as. his platonic date to after parties and sotheby’s auctions. and you really are learning!! still paying attention to how he conducts his business while simultaneously kitten licking the head of his shaft, getting drunk on the pre that rises up for you to taste.

his free hand, big and adorned with an art deco ring, a ten thousand dollar watch on the wrist, tangling up in your hair while he makes a deal. using that charm to get what he wants - today, a rembrandt sketch, bought from a private owner. he talks like it’s nothing, like he could make deals in his sleep. offering up only a few thousand - he’s surprised you with how little some people want for such big names - while you’re lubing his cock up with your tongue, letting his strong fingers guide you wherever he wants.

“sounds wonderful - yes, yes, always an honor to do business with ya. i can have my assistant -“ and he presses your head down just slightly, grinning as you sputter around him, “-come pick it up early next week. sound good? fantastic, wonderful news - we’ll see you here shortly, thanks for the opportunity.”

he sounds like a different person when he’s on with them, charm ranked up to two hundred, so polite and yet loud, confident. like he knows when he walks into a deal or an auction that he’s going to get precisely what he wants (and he very nearly always does). he sighs when he hangs up, let’s you keep bobbing on your knees before him, scratching your scalp.

“honey - angel. you’re supposed to be watchin’ me work,” he says hoarsely. “what’s your professor gonna say when you’re back from your internship with no knowledge?”

you hum, pulling your mouth off of him and starting to stroke his cock. “‘m just becoming well-rounded, that’s all. not like i’m gonna sleep with everyone.”

“just me?” he grins, pushing his chair back so he can see you ever so slightly.

you shrug a shoulder, trying to bite back a smirk. “well, til i get tired of you, or til my thesis is finished, whatever comes first.”

he laughs, hearty and full and you’re addicted to the sound - searching for it in those crowded galleries, at exhibition openings. being the one who makes him laugh and mean it gets you off more than anything else. he pulls you up off of the floor, leading you awkwardly into his lap, the chippendale under him creaking and his cock pressing up against your core. “better not get tired of me. i’ve got a pickup for you next week - think you can handle that alone?”

you grind down on him and smile when his brows twitch at the pleasure. “sure, think i can manage.”

#art dealer!steve #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x reader #stevenose posts #ns/fw #steve x reader

[zeroaddzero]

Top 10 Horniest Bruce Springsteen songs, ranked

Yes there are more horny Bruce songs. Too many horny songs for one list. I don’t know if his game was good because he knew how to write horny songs, or if his game inspired him to write horny songs. Eiter way, we’ve been blessed musically with a lot of horny songs. Here’s the horny songs I managed to fit into a (very biased) list:

1.  I'm On Fire

THE horny Bruce song. A fever fantasy of a wet dream smushed into one moaning, sweaty mess. Before I was a fan, this (coupled with the below performance) was the song that made me go "OH. I get it now."

Spotify LINK

At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet And a freight train running through the middle of my head Only you can cool my desire

2.  Pink Cadillac

About as subtle as Lady Gaga’s “Disco Stick.” Even better paired with the BITUSA tour intro (said intro got noticeably more sexual after Bruce got married in 1985).

Spotify LINK

They say Eve tempted Adam with an apple But man I an’t goin for that I know it was her pink Cadillac

3. Fire

Originally written for Elvis, the bass line alone for this #problematic 70s “don't play coy with me” number will make you reconsider feminism for 5 minutes. The 1986 performance is downright NSFW.

Spotify LINK

You had a hold on me right from the start A grip so tight I couldn't tear it apart

4. The Fever

Bruce is king of the “lying in bed thinking of how horny this person makes me” genre, and this is one of his finest examples. At almost 8 minutes, it’s the tantric equivalent to the more concentrated "I’m on Fire". Anybody noticing a “burning” theme here?

Spotify LINK

Well now the day grows longer The love just grows stronger, baby And the fever gets so bad at night I got the fever for the girl

5. Because The Night

Bruce never finished the lyrics, and this song arguably belongs to Patti Smith now. Bruce has even said as much. However, I am biased and enjoy this banger too much to let technicalities get in the way of horny. On the list it goes.

Spotify LINK

Because the night belongs to lovers Because the night belongs to lust Because the night belongs to lovers Because the night belongs to us

6. Red Headed Woman

I'm Going Down may seem raunchy until you realise it's about a bad breakup. For the other thing, we have this entry. Folks, this song is literally about eating pussy. Bruce even introduced it as such during his Ghost of Tom Joad tour. I’ve yet to recover from the whiplash of hearing him say the word “cunnilingus” while performing at his old Catholic high school.

Spotify LINK

Well listen up stud Your life's been wasted 'Til you've been down on your knees and tasted A red headed woman

7. She's The One

Speculated to have been written about the violinist who played on the album Born To Run, this tune shows our boy is down baaad. Best paired with the excellent "Mona" intro, which is included in the Houston '78 live performance below.

Spotify LINK

With her killer graces and her secret places That no boy can fill with her hands on her hips Oh and that smile on her lips Because she knows that it kills me

8. Part Man, Part Monkey

My Tunnel of Love tour knowledge is woefully lacking despite the tour being his most explicit, and the accompanying album being in my top 3. In the eyes of the public, Bruce was still with his first wife when this video was shot in 1988. Only the band knew he was recently separated, so imagine watching a presumably married man on stage eye-fucking his backup singer. The gossip mill must have been insane after each show.

Spotify LINK

Well the night is dark, the moon is full The flowers of romance exert their pull We talk awhile, my fingers slip I'm hard and crackling like a whip

9. Crush On You

Another genre this Jersey dude excels at is “horny to the point of funny.” Bruce himself has called it "the worst song we ever put on a record" but hey, what does he know.

Spotify LINK

For one kiss, darling I swear everything I would give 'Cause she's a walking talking reason to live

10. Cover Me

I just realised this is only one of four songs on this list included on an official Springsteen album(if you don't count the outtake compilations.) The video contains the studio audio, but I'm not passing on an excuse to plug more Paris '85 concert footage!

Spotify LINK

Now promise me baby you won't let them find us Hold me in your arms, let's let our love blind us Cover me, shut the door and cover me I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me

Honourable mentions (song/album):

Rosalita / The Wild, The Innocent & The E Street Shuffle Candy's Room / Darkness on the Edge of Town Ramrod / The River Cindy / The River (outtakes) Ain’t got you / Tunnel of Love The Fuse / The Rising

Let me know if you think I missed any! I won't change the list, but more horny song discourse is always good.

#bruce springsteen #e street band #rock music #bruceposting #Youtube #long post

[training4theapocalypse]

Finders Keepers Ch 5. (Cormac McLaggen x fem!reader)

Rating: Explicit 18+

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: SMUT!!!!!!!!! Kissing, Dry humping, Sucking on my titties like you wanted me calling me all the time like Blondie check out my Chrissy behind it's fine all of the time.

Summary: It's the night of Slughorn's party and you're ready to make McLaggen jealous.

A/N: I said I wasn't gonna post til Sunday but I am too impulsive!!! Here is some recommended listening: Escapism by RAYE and Daylight by David Kushner (thank you anon for the latter recommendation). P.S. You can tell I'm not actually a Ravenclaw because my door riddle was SHIT lmao.

Masterlist

Tag list: @countlambula

Chapter 5: Firewhisky

Two weeks later, you sit on the same spot on the edge of Marietta’s bed, this time lacing up your strappy stilettos. You point your wand at your feet. ‘Molliare’ you think, silently casting a cushioning charm so you can walk with ease in your heels.

Cho and Marietta join you as you walk over to the mirror, they stand behind you like proud parents.

“Stunning,” says Cho looking at you in the mirror.

“Yes, well, enough about the dress,” says Marietta, admiring her alterations. “Zacharias is going to feel like he’s won the Daily Prophet Grand Prize Draw when he sees you.”

Ugh, you almost forgot about Smith. 

You admire yourself in the mirror and you have to admit- this is probably the best you’ve ever looked. Thanks to Marietta, your form-fitting cobalt blue dress seems to glow ethereally in the candlelight. She’s given you a high leg split and its generously low-cut bodice accentuates every curve of your body.

“Okay, toss your head forward and mess up your hair a wee bit,” says Cho. You flip your head down and back up and push your tousled hair behind your ear. “Perfect - it looks like you’ve just finished a very steamy snogging session.”

“Fuck, I’m nervous.” You reach out and hold both of their hands. “I wish you were coming.”

“Okay, Captain,” says Cho, imitating your most authoritative dressing-room voice. “What’s the game plan? Let’s go over positions.” Strangely, it helps your nerves.

“Meet Smith downstairs and arrive late. Don’t even look at McLaggen. Impress Gwenog. Still don’t look at McLaggen. Have a few drinks and hit the buffet-”

“Have one drink. No bread or you’ll burst out of that dress,” warns Marietta.

“One drink to stay reasonably sober,” you repeat, ignoring the last part. “Wait for McLaggen to approach me. Brush him off casually. Leave conspicuously and in an extra giggly fashion with Zacharias Smith then report back to you two in the common room.”

“Well remembered.”

“Shouldn’t I just snog Smith in front of him?”

“No!” says Marietta. 

“It’ll be way worse in his head if he doesn’t see you. Leave it to his imagination,” nods Cho knowledgeably.

God, dealing with boys was such hard work. You look at your two friends sincerely- they’re extremely skilled in this particular art of war. 

“Thank you- both of you. This was insanely hard work, I mean, this dress, Marietta…” You check yourself out in the mirror again. “It’s beautiful, really. I’m sorry if I’ve ever been sort of disparaging towards this stuff before. As if it’s any less worthwhile than Quidditch or school. It’s just… I’m not used to being bad at things.”

They understand. You don’t need to say any more as the three of you embrace in the middle of the dorm room.

“Right,” says Cho, wiping her eyes. “You’d better go before Zacharias thinks you’ve stood him up.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Slughorn’s office looks like a beautifully decadent circus tent. The walls are draped with emerald, crimson and gold hangings, contrasting with the striking blue of your dress.

You walk in, arm-in-arm with Smith who looks incredibly pleased with himself. When you met him earlier on the marble staircase he actually did a double take before saying your name questioningly, as if he didn’t believe it was you.

“Fuck off, Smith, I don’t look that different.”

“Ladylike as ever, I suppose,” he scoffed and you rolled your eyes.

But now as you walk in, you keep your head high and smile at other students you recognise, as if you’re delighted to be here with Smith. Murmurs ripple through the crowd, as the two of you pass through- you hope it’s your dress that’s causing a commotion but you resign yourself to the fact that your classmates are probably just surprised to see you here with a boy.

Tactics, remember tactics. 

“Let’s get a drink,” you whisper, marching him towards a tower of champagne flutes. You grab one and drain it quickly, using the opportunity to discreetly scan the room for McLaggen. 

He’s across the room, determinedly talking to Hermione. You have a satisfied feeling that he’s trying not to look at you.

You dump your empty glass, grab another for courage, and link Smith’s arm again, steering him to try and find Slughorn but you don’t need to go far before you hear a booming voice calling your name.

“Professor Slughorn! Thank you for inviting me,” you respond graciously, pretending you aren’t starstruck by his companion, Gwenog Jones. “This is Zacharias, he’s captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch Team.”

“Oh! I thought- ” says Slughorn looking from you to Smith and then off into the room behind you. “Ah, never mind. I’m an old man, who knows less and less about young love these days.” Slughorn chuckles and Smith gives you a questioning look which you ignore. “Anyway, allow me to introduce Miss Gwenog Jones, Captain of the Holyhead Harpies. Gwenog, this is the Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain, I mentioned earlier.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” you say, shoving your drink into Smith’s hand and clasping hers when she reaches out to give you a handshake. “I’m a huge fan.”

“Old Sluggy’s been telling me all about you,” she says. 

“All good things, I hope?” You ask playfully of Slughorn who guffaws.

“Of course, of course!”

“I don’t suppose he mentioned our recent landslide victory against Slytherin?” You give her a winning smile, desperate to make a positive impression.

“He did… But I’m more interested in what he told me about your training.”

“My- my training?” you stumble - slightly surprised that Professor Slughorn knows anything about your training.

“I’ve told Miss Jones here all about you spending every evening on the pitch. I can see it from that window, you know.” He gestures to the window in the corner, obscured by the curtains. “You and McLaggen, practising for hours and hours and right in the middle of your N.E.W.Ts too… Oh, look, there he is!” Slughorn looks over your shoulder again and calls his name. “Not that you’d be interested in McLaggen for your all-female team, Gwen,” he chuckles. Slughorn spills a little champagne when he spots Harry Potter and practically runs over to join him, abandoning your group.

You bristle as McLaggen replaces Slughorn’s vacant space beside you. He shakes hands with Gwenog who, you remind yourself, he’s acquainted with already.

“As I was saying, Slughorn told me all about your win against Slytherin and while it piqued my interest, it was your work ethic that really got my attention. And he says you’re a keeper too?”

“A world-class one,” says McLaggen. “I’m surprised she hasn’t been snapped up by a professional team already.”

You blink at him in surprise. It’s very considerate of him to compliment you like that in front of Gwenog, even though you’re not speaking.

“And it’s you two who’ve been practising together every night?” she asks, noticing the look you give to McLaggen. “I mean, you’ve actually been training? Slughorn hasn’t been seeing you head off to the Quidditch pitch so you can snog privately or anything, has he?” She lets out a laugh like a bark.

“No! God, no,” you say quickly, and go to squeeze Smith’s arm but he’s already disappeared without you even noticing. 

“Absolutely not,” confirms McLaggen.

“Good,” she smiles. “Well, you’re not the usual build for a keeper, I must say. They usually look more like him - ha!” She nods at McLaggen. “But if you’re as good as he and Slughorn say you are, it sounds like I’d be stupid not to let you try out during the transfer window this summer.”

“That… that would be incredible. Thank you.” 

She bids you and McLaggen farewell and goes to mingle with the other guests. If you hadn’t fallen out with McLaggen, you’d grab him and jump up and down screaming for joy. Instead, you stand awkwardly, trying not to look at him.

Game plan, a small voice in your head reminds you but the champagne has loosened your sharp tongue.

“Well, you better not keep your girlfriend waiting,” you say, looking for Smith.

“Who told you that Hermione’s my girlfriend?”

“Hermione told Lavender who told Parvati who told Padma who told Cho who told me,” you rhyme off, trying to sound casual. 

“I thought you didn’t like gossip.” 

You shrug. “I just hear things.”

“Look, I know you don’t like her after what she did to Marietta-”

“Oh, is that what she said?”

“No, it’s what I know. I was in the D.A. with them too. You’re not the only one who hears things.”

Finally bringing yourself to look at him properly, you’re extremely annoyed to see that he looks incredibly handsome in his black shirt and dress robes. 

“So, have you snogged her?” You blurt before you can stop yourself.

“What?!”

“Have you snogged her?” you repeat slowly and clearly, knowing full well he heard you the first time.

“I’ll go and snog her right now if you’re so concerned.”

“Go ahead. It should be easy, right? If she’s your girlfriend and not just here to make Ron Weasley jealous. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to find my date.”

He watches dumbfounded as you walk across the room to grab Smith aggressively and lead him by the hand out of the room. When you reach the corridor, you turn around and see that Smith looks like he can’t believe his luck.

“Oh,” you say, trying to think of a lie when you realise you really, definitely don’t want to snog him. “Sorry- I just wanted a bit of air. It’s so hot in there and my armpits are like, really sweaty.” You make up wildly.

Smith pulls a disgusted face and turns to go back in. “Wait!” you grab his arm and spin him back around. “Let me fix your hair.” You run your hand through it, messing it up slightly. “There, much better.”

He stares at you, stunned. “You are so weird.” He returns to the party and you groan, leaning against the indented archway in the wall and knocking your head back against it a few times in frustration. When you hear the click of high-heeled footsteps coming towards you, you flatten yourself inside the little cove so you’re not spotted alone. 

Hermione Granger whips past you without so much as a backwards look. You watch her as she walks as fast as she can in the direction of Gryffindor Tower. She’s ditched McLaggen, you realise. You thought you’d feel ready to gloat but instead you just feel… empty. Until recently he was your friend after all.

Returning to the party, you’re not sure what to do with yourself. The game plan has gone out the window.

You want to do everything you can to avoid Zacharias Smith, and you really don’t want to be paraded in front of a vampire by Slughorn like Potter is right now. The only person you actually want to talk to is Cormac McLaggen but lately, all you’ve been able to do is argue, that is when you’re not sitting in sullen silence during Potions. 

You decide you’d better mix with some other students. You spend some time chatting with Dean Thomas and Ginny Weasley who you recognise from the Gryffindor Quidditch team. They congratulate you on your win against Slytherin, and you return the compliment but only out of obligation as both victories make your teams the closest rivals on the table, competing for the top spot. You excuse yourself and cross the room to get another drink but Professor Snape halts you in your tracks. 

“Detention,” he says simply. 

“Sir, I-”

“The first Saturday after the holidays. And I expect you to be more suitably dressed for the occasion.”

You open your mouth to argue but think better of it. Any argument with Snape is likely to extend your detention to a week or even a month. More murmuring cascades around the room as he gestures to the door. It’s probably for the best, you think, that you leave before you drink any more. You got what you came for - an invite to the Holyhead Harpies tryouts. But you wish you’d just…

What do you wish?

That you’d made McLaggen jealous in the process? Or even just made up with him? Gone back to being friends. But could you ever swallow your pride and settle for being just friends? Surely that had to be better than whatever this feeling was right now.

Out of the hot room, the cool air hits you dizzyingly as you walk quickly along the corridor to the entrance hall. You see McLaggen ahead of you, near the front doors, in almost the exact same spot where you had your argument two weeks ago. 

Maybe being friends would be enough.

When he hears your footsteps he turns and groans “Oh, no. Not you.”

You catch up with him. “Always so disappointed to see me, McLaggen.”

“I’ve been chucked out. Snape gave me detention.”

“Me too,” you shrug. It’s not much of an olive branch but your instinct is to try and make him feel better. Misery loves company after all.

“You have?” He brightens up considerably. 

“He thought I wasn’t ‘suitably dressed’,” you say and his eyes follow your hands as you smooth the front of your satin dress. “What did you get chucked out for?”

“He caught me hiding behind the bar trying to drown my sorrows.” He pulls an entire bottle of Firewhisky from his cloak.

“Your sorrows?” 

He shrugs. “Doesn’t matter.”

“And he didn’t confiscate the bottle?”

“I pretended that I was about to vomit on his shoes and he just threw me out without noticing I still had it.” 

Without warning you both burst out laughing. Your stomach hurts from laughing at the idea of Snape dragging McLaggen out at arm’s length, trying to avoid being vomited on.

“Well, no wonder he was in such a foul mood when he saw me. I mean detention, for wearing a dress?”

“Personally, I agree with Snape,” His gaze lingers on you again. “It’s very distracting.”

“Oh, shut up.” 

“Just don’t ask me what colour it is. I haven’t noticed.”

You hit his arm. This is nice - the playful banter, both of you not sulking for the first time in weeks. It feels almost… normal. Until, with a small jolt, you remember it’s not.

“Don’t be a pig, McLaggen. You have a girlfriend.”

“She isn’t my girlfriend,” he says, leaning his head back against the wall. “We can’t stand each other.”

And there it is. The news you’d been secretly hoping for all night. The pit in your stomach feels much lighter.

“Where’s Smith anyway? He was looking pretty dishevelled when he came back from the corridor.”

You feel a pang of guilt. He’d noticed. And it doesn’t make you feel victorious in the way you’d thought it would. “I honestly couldn’t give a shit where he is.” He says nothing. You wonder if he’s been hoping for similar news too.

“Do you want some?” He asks eventually, shaking the bottle of Firewhisky and breaking the prolonged silence. You go to accept it but he says. “Not here - Snape and Filch will be prowling the corridors in a minute.”

“Quidditch stands?”

He nods and you exit the castle, walking side-by-side in the dark, down the path towards the pitch. It’s a frosty night and you feel your teeth chatter.

“Wait a sec.” He removes his heavy cloak and wraps it around your shoulders. It smells good. Like him. “Better?” You nod and take the bottle from him, so you can have a nip of Firewhisky. It burns your chest, spreading heat through your body.

The path ends when you get to the pitch and you feel your high heels sink into the grass. “Shit,” you hiss, freeing one of your stilettos.

“Right, up you get.” He stands in front of you and stoops slightly, so he can give you a piggyback. 

“You must be drunk if you think I’m letting you carry me.”

“Don’t argue for once in your life. Hurry up.”

You give him the bottle back before jumping up so he can carry you across the grass and underneath the stands. The familiar smell of amber and jasmine, this time mixed with Firewhisky and mud from the Quidditch pitch, reaches your nostrils. You resist the strong urge you have to lean into the crook of his neck and inhale.

He lets you off when you get to the wooden stairs. “Ladies first.”

“Remembered I’m not a bloke, have you?” you ask, walking up the stairs. Cho was right- he does always let you walk in front of him.

“If I thought you were a bloke, I wouldn’t constantly be staring at your arse.” He gives you a cocky grin. 

“Oh, well, by all means, carry on objectifying me then,” you say sarcastically and snatch the bottle from his hands before turning around quickly so he can’t see you smile. 

He follows you to the top of the stand where the pair of you sit, looking out onto the pitch and the snowy hills in the distance. 

“I’ve never noticed how beautiful it is up here,” you sigh. 

“Always been too busy watching the game?” 

You nod. 

“Same.” 

There’s still an awkward dark cloud hanging over your heads. You take another drink of Firewhisky and pass it back to him. 

“Right, out with it then.”

“What?” he asks.

“We can’t just act like the past couple of weeks haven’t happened.” Being brave, being vulnerable like this is something you’ve always found difficult and the bottle of liquid courage you and McLaggen are sharing doesn’t seem to be helping. 

You try to think of how to get the words out - if there’s one thing you’ve learned from spending more time with Cho and Marietta this year, it’s that it’s better to get this sort of thing out in the open. You take a deep breath, preparing for rejection but he beats you to the punch. 

“I’m an idiot.” He groans. “I just - I got it into my head that we’d go to the party together and you’d end up getting off with Gwenog Jones. So when Hermione asked me to go I jumped at the chance.”

“I don’t fancy Gwenog Jones-”

“-Then you turned up with Smith and that was even worse than what I imagined with Gwen.”

You draw his cloak around you and look at your shoes. “Well, I didn’t realise you had asked me to go to Slughorn’s party as friends.”

“I- I didn’t want to ask you as friends. Believe me. I thought I was kidding myself that you might be into me… everyone said I was stupid to even ask you.”

“Who’s everyone?”

“Belby-“

“Belby?!” You scowl. That moron. “Who else?” You demand.

“Well I’m not gonna say now, am I?” McLaggen laughs. “I can tell Belby’s about to regret it.”

Your face cracks into a smile. The aggression bubbling up in your chest evaporates into the frosty night air. His laugh gives you a new perspective - it’s as if you can step back from the scene and can see how daft it is to get so bothered by someone like Marcus Belby.

You look up at his face in the cold moonlight. Butterflies squirm in your stomach. He’s so distractingly good-looking - you can’t think properly when it’s just you and him like this. No quaffle or cauldron to divert your attention or give you a reason not to look at him for too long. 

“To be honest, I sort of thought Belby was right after all because you didn’t seem that keen when I asked you.”

“I hesitated because you make me nervous, Cormac,” you say softly, determined not to look away. It’s like looking into the sun.

“Yeah?” He’s still looking into your eyes but he feels closer now. 

“Don’t pretend you haven’t figured out by now that I like boys too.” You look from his eyes to his lips. “Well, not boys. Just… just one.”

His mouth is inches from yours. You can feel his breath on your lips. “If you say Smith, I’ll kill him.”

And there it is. You’re not sure whether it’s his possessiveness or the fact you’d really like to watch him hit Smith but something about that sentence makes you feral for him. You press your mouth against his, the burning taste of Firewhisky on both your lips. 

He kisses you back fiercely. It’s harder and rougher than the soft kisses you’ve experienced before but you like it. It means you can kiss him back the way you want to - you know he can handle it. You bite hard on his bottom lip in silent admonishment for what he’s put you through. And Cormac returns the favour, his hand roughly gripping the part of your thigh exposed by your dress. You wonder if he knows it’s for him. The absence of fabric - created for the sole purpose of seeking his attention.

You bring your arms behind his neck, pressing your body as close to him as you can and the Firewhisky falls from the bench and rolls on the floor, forgotten. He moves his hand under your thigh and drags you onto his lap so that you’re straddling him. Your lips meet again, crashing into each other and his tongue intrudes into your mouth, rolling over yours. You want to feel his mouth everywhere.

As if reading your mind, his lips leave yours to kiss along your jaw and down your neck. You lean back so he can draw his tongue along your collarbone and bury his face in your chest. Cormac’s strong hands grip your hips tightly, his thumbs pressing bruises into your hipbones without any indication of slowing down or showing restraint. 

From this position, you can feel his erection pressing into you. It’s the first time you’ve kissed a man like this but your body responds almost automatically, sending your hips grinding into him. The night air is below freezing but your skin feels burning hot between the weight of his cloak and the warmth of his body.

The difference in size and strength between you sends wild thoughts flashing through your mind of him pinning you down against the bench and savagely taking you there.

You run your fingers through his dark blonde hair, pushing his face into your cleavage in encouragement, feeling his hot tongue and rough chin against your chest as you grind yourself against him harder. The now hot and damp fabric of your underwear rubs against the hard bulge between your bodies, creating friction more electric than the one that’s been between you the past few weeks.

“Fuck…” he moans into your chest softly.

All evidence so far has pointed to Cormac being an ass man but you’re not so sure any more as he continues his vocal appreciation, licking and sucking your tits right here on the deserted stands.

Cormac’s hands move up from your hips to push your breasts together and he whines when one of your nipples peeks out over the top of your dress. He latches onto the small nub of skin and sucks, swirling his tongue around your nipple. 

“Cormac, fuck, that’s-”

But just what it is, is interrupted by the anguished moan of pleasure that leaves your lips when his teeth graze your sensitive skin. It echoes across the deserted pitch into the night. A noise that would be indiscernible in the usually busy stadium. Unable to take it anymore you push his chest back and stare into his eyes, breathing heavily. 

“We shouldn’t… we should go back to the castle,” you pant.

“Shouldn’t what?” He raises his eyebrows with a smirk, his slightly wet chin glistening in the dim moonlight. “I haven’t suggested anything.”

“I was talking to myself.”

He grins and helps you off of him so you can fix your dress. “Well, that was easily the best thing that’s happened to me in this stadium,” he says, adjusting himself too.

“Ah, maybe you’ll get a game one day,” you tease and cup his face, just so you can feel his stubbly chin against your palm again.  

He kisses your palm before taking your hand in his so you can walk back down the steps to the pitch together. When you get to the grass he insists on carrying you again but this time refuses to put you back down until you reach the castle steps. 

From a tower high above, Horace Slughorn looks out of the window of his now-empty office. The party has long finished. He chuckles to himself when he sees the silhouette of McLaggen emerging from the darkness, carrying you on his back towards the entrance hall, illuminated by the castle torches.

When you climb off him and make it to the top of the marble staircase, you kiss him goodbye one final time. This is the last time you’ll see him before you go home for the Christmas holidays tomorrow. You turn and leave for Ravenclaw Tower, while he goes off in the opposite direction to Gryffindor. 

“I can skip, I can be broken, I can burst, I can sing. What am I?” asks the bronze eagle knocker on the door. “A heart,” you say, ripping off your heels impatiently, waiting for the door to swing open. You need to wake up Cho and Marietta - you promised you’d tell them everything.

Chapter 6: First Name Basis

#cormac mclaggen #cormac mclaggen x female reader #cormac mclaggen x reader #fanfic #harry potter and the half blood prince #harry potter fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #freddie stroma

[echoedcrosshairs]

Those Who Fight Together - part 7

Summary: Undescribed Jedi female nicknamed Reaper in 3rd person is rescued from being Dooku’s apprentice and needs to blow some steam with an old love 🖤Smut with a Plot🖤

Warning: NSFW, Crude Language, Killing, PiV, Oral (both), alcohol, emotional turmoil

Word Count: 8k (I’m sorry 😣)

Part 6 Part 7.5 Part 8

Masterlist

If you want the angst of 6.5, let me know and I’ll finish writing it

The boys left early, something about needing to clean the shop leaving you alone with the two people who were closes to you. Although after one two many drinks, you could definitely see Wolffe's guard lower and his eyes stayed locked on you for the rest of the night. Even if your dress you still went toe to toe with the boys whether it was who could take the hardest punch or who could lift the heaviest thing. You felt free and content here with just being here with them, except when Wolffe tried to stand up that the night was over when he fell back into his seat laughing.

"I've missed this," you said putting one arm around him helping him up.

"I've missed you."

"I missed you too," a sad smile broke out, "and you," you said to Cody as he grabbed Wolffe's other side.

"You should be with us, fighting and having fun."

"You don't need me anymore, but I will never be far."

"General... he's looking a little Green," Cody said noticing the expression on Wolffe's face, "I'll be right back," he said carefully stepping away to get a bag.

"I'm fine, just realized what I said."

"Don't worry about it, doubt you'll remember it," you laughed try to defuse the tension.

"I love you," he said knowing this was probably one of the last chances he got to say it.

"I got him if you wanna go check on your men," Cody volunteered, pretending to not hear what what he just said.

"I'll see around Cody, haze him later for me," you jested pulling your arm away.

You said goodnight, leaving them to get back to the barracks. The alcohol rummaged around in your system, making you feel a little light headed. Maker, what is that stuff you groaned, never again. You found the boys sitting at the table, each of them silent but stern looking at each other.

"Can this wait til morning?," you said trying to put off whatever was coming.

"You should have stayed there with them," Crosshair said looking at you, his blood was ice, "You don't belong here," he said standing up, his legs wobbling a little bit but he put himself in front of you, "Tech doesn't want and neither do I. I will... never love you," he said bumping his shoulder into yours, hoping the comment was enough to keep Tech out of your wraith.

Tech fiddled with his googles, chest tightening but followed after his brother who barely made it out the door before slumping against the wall. Tech felt empty, noticing the double meaning of what his brother had said, the sacrifice he made for him, his chest tighten even further barely being able to breath.

"Anyone else?" Ask trying to keep the breaking out of your voice, no one spoke, "I'm going to sleep in a hotel tonight."

When you got to your room you grabbed the med patches and placed them on your neck. Fumbling out of your dress you opted for your robes, stashing your sabers and grabbing a handful of credits before stumbling your way out of the ship.

"I'll go with you," Hunter offered waiting by the door.

"I want to be alone."

He gave you a nod seeing the pain in your eyes, "be safe."

"Where's the fun in that" you answered sourly.

The walk to the nearest cheapest hotel was sobering. You wanted nothing more then to rip the skin off your spine and regretting. I am the Collector, good nor bad, my duty is protect knowledge. And that is it.

"What happens now?" Echo asked looking to Hunter.

"We'll wait for her to come home."

"She's not coming back," Hunter heard Crosshair said from the other room.

"She'll come back when she's ready," Hunter affirmed looking between Echo and Wrecker who stared at her empty room.

"Why did you have say that Crosshair, you know it's not true" Wrecker asked knowing his brother could hear them.

There was no reply just silence. Echo blamed himself he should have stayed with her or tried to talk Crosshair out of it. Why I didn't try to go after her? Echo loosened his jaw when his teeth began to hurt, he looked at Hunter who was also trying to hide what he felt but Wrecker didn't bother to try.

"I'm going to be in her room right," Echo let out heading towards the room, Hunter caught his wrist with an eyebrow raised, "I don't know how the rest of you feel, I love her and I don't know if she's coming back," he said staring at the floor but it was enough of an answer that Hunter let him go.

Hunter understood how he was feeling all to well.  Hollow, wondering if they just ruined the best thing that had ever happened to them. Why didn't he tell her. Hunter left Wrecker standing there and headed towards his hammock to think. He noticed Crosshair laying in his staring at the ceiling emptied of any emotion and that Tech was gone.

"Don't know, don't care," Crosshair said before Hunter could ask, rolling over to face the wall.

Hunter felt a speeder move in the distance, he knew who it was. He turned and left, knowing his brother was probably going to something stupid to distract himself. Wrecker was still disoriented about what had happened and trying to make sense of it, he never got to say how to felt because out of all them he apparently seemed to be the gentlemen.

"I'll be back in a while, keep anyone else from leaving," He told Wrecker who was sitting by the ramp.

"Tech?"

"Yeah.."

It didn't take Hunter long to find him even on Coruscant with the thousands of machinery. Tech was still sitting on the bike overlooking a busy speed way race. Hunter noticed the emotions playing out on his face, he pulled up next to him and sat. An inner war sieged in Tech between his heart and his brain, he did the most logical thing to be able to protect his brothers but his heart called it a betrayal. He pressed his fingers to the bride of his nose and his leg bounced but he remained silent, waiting for the war to quiet.

"So, why couldn't you tell her yourself?" Hunter said disrupting his train of thought

"I didn't want to see the look on her face," Tech said bluntly, "Did I ruin it for everyone else?"

"I don't know where she is to ask her, so I can't tell you. I think it would have been better coming from you. Crosshair... crossed a line."

"Crosshair has always been-"

"That doesn't make it any better."

"What do you think I should do given the situation?"

"I'd start by finding her and telling her what's going on in your head so she at least knows why."

"And if I can't find her?"

"Hope your songs cross again," Hunter said starting his bike and headed back towards the ship, "Regrets are hard to live with, I hope she comes back so I can fix mine."

Tech followed him back to the ship and his equipment. He made a sludge worthy cup of caff, it was disgusting but he downed it. He could feel Hunters smile behind him when he walked passed. Tech sighed to himself with the amount of camera footage he would have to hack into and comb through but he did find her ... and he watched her leave the hotel and heads towards the ship yard knowing it was about to be to late.

The squad rushed getting out and arrived to where Tech had last traced her location. They look to found a ship lot. They found Wolffe and Cody already there. They walked towards them and then they heard it.

Echo looked up, to see a ship with a scythe crossed with a yellow saber spray painted on a ship entering the air, "Found her."

"Where's she goin?" Wrecker asked confused.

"Far away from us," Crosshair scowled.

"Do you know where?" Hunter asked looking at Cody and Wolffe.

"Right like I'd tell any of you," Wolffe said side eyeing them.

"She's going to meet with Count Dooku to see about bargaining to get her Master's saber back," Cody said, shock hitting them all at once.

"Like Sith's hell," Echo said turning and trying to go after her before Cody threw his arm around his neck to stop him.

"Should be really be going alone?" Wrecker asked.

"She wanted too. With how mad she is, I wouldn't worry," Cody said holding him a little tighter against his struggle, "Honestly, I really wouldn't want to be the next person who pisses her off."

"I agree that she shouldn't have gone alone but you shouldn't have told them. I was already wrong trusting them. I'll go after with her," Wolf said growling.

"We'll bring her home, Wolffe" Hunter said looking up watching the ship make the jump, "this is our fault, let us fix it."

"Why would I trust you because you lot are the reason she left alone?"

Hunter pulled out the one of her two sabers, she didn't take with her hoping it was answer enough.

"I love her," Echo deflated, Cody let go of him.

"Fine, but I'll bring her home." Wolffe gritted out, annoyed.

"How do you know where to find her? Given that ship was most likely recently acquired given the crudeness of the paint job, there most likely isn't a tracker on it due to it being recently acquired."

"Wouldn't you like to know," Wolffe glared at him.

"It's been well documented that both the Jedi and the Sith can create connections through the force, allowing two Force individuals to bridge their minds together allowing the transfer of memory, location, visual stimulation and emotions across the galaxy. Although I don't see how that is possible because you are neither and a clone," Tech stated, "So I am also curious about this."

Wolffe smiled remembering the fond memories of silent communication they had when fighting and the secret but obviously transmissions, "I think right now she rather have me tracking her down then either of you," he stared at Tech and Crosshair.

"She definitely loves you more then any of us," Crosshair scoffed.

Wolffe got in his face staring into his icy demeanor without fear, matching it with his own, "I thought she did too until last night and then I found out last night she was at some sleazy hotel alone. I hope she does love me more because at least I would have gone after her"

"Isn't that calling the quacta calling the stifling slimy, you just let her go too" Crosshair said taking the tooth pick out of his mouth with a smirk.

"It shouldn’t take her long. I was wrong to ever let her in the first place," Wolffe said pointedly and turning, "Plus would you know of love anyway?" he paused to give him a sideways glance, "the only thing you seem to be capable of feeling is rage and lust. She's the best woman I've ever had, down for anything and that wasn’t even enough for you" he added chuckling starting to walk away.

"We'll bring her home, Wolffe."

"You won't like it if I have too," Wolffe said with Cody tailing him, Hunter could hear them taking about a diplomatic search and rescue convoy.

"Hunter, mounting our own search would directly impede the speed of any future orders thus interfering with our task and our mental focus during said task?" Tech pondered out loud.

"We are loyal to each other, first, and she is one of us."

"You misunderstand, I'm an not implying that we don't go after her but I'm asking how do we get her back."

Crosshair shoved him, "We can't go after her, our loyalty is to each other and to the Republic not some rogue consorting with the enemy."

Tech looked at Echo seeing what he understood to be betrayal and confliction, Hunter's jaw was set tight noting the truth to the statement and Wrecker was sad and Crosshair was nothing but rage. All Tech felt was guilty, he knew letting Crosshair 'be the bad guy' was the wrong thing to do and he wished desperately that he could go back and change it but knew he couldn't. He blamed himself for letting it happen and then it getting so out of hand. He closed his eyes tightly for a moment letting his mind clear.

"I have to, this was my mistake."

Crosshair growled grabbing Tech by the armor, "Dank Farrik... I looked her in the eye told her how I felt while ripping her heart out not once but twice," Crosshair composed himself pulling away, "She's better off with the regs. We're bad luck."

Your dress robes trailed behind you, it made your skin prickle with unease, it wasn't very battle appropriate but you were here as delegation and had to work as such. It made your stomach twist being inside the walls of Castle Serenno, while good nor bad you didn't often deal with those who practice the darker arts. The droids open the door to a luxurious room with Count Dooku sitting at a short table plastered in food and finery, the service droid moved to pull out your chair so you could sit.

"How are you enjoying my hospitality?" Count Dooku asked breaking the silence first.

"It is an absolute marvel, Count."

"Rumors have spread saying that the Tome sent their best Collector for these negotiations," he said raising an eyebrow while he took a drink.

"A rank of formality-"

"A rank you yearned mercilessly cutting down those who stood in your way-"

"Only when diplomacy failed but an intelligent man such as yourself already has his eyes set on his feasible price or he wouldn't have agreed to this delegation so we don't have to worry about that."

"Indeed I do," Count Dooku said studying you, a slow cat like smile spread across his face, "You must be my apprentice for a time, that is all I ask for your masters saber in return but while in my employ you must use the saber's provided," he said flickering the droid over with the box, using the force to push it towards you.

The wooden box was lined with red satin, laid two near perfect replicas of your saber design except with a mild curve in the end like the Count's. They had an energy all their own, bold and daring. You picked them up, clicking them to ignite and one started as a faint red but faded to your usual yellow and the other was bright red, intellect and rage.

"Am I to assume you accept the proposal? And it will be Master, we can train a little later today."

"I do accept on the terms however I will not terminate someone I care for while in your services, if you find this acceptable, Master."

I am the Collector, Good nor Bad, you mentally repeated to yourself, This is a task I must preform to keep the secrets of the old ways out of the hands of anyone who would use them for harm. There was a different type of power in the red saber that was in your hand it was like nothing you've ever felt before, it was intriguing.

If you like chapter 6.5 about being Dooku's Apprentice, please leave a comment -> it will hurt

You stood besides Dooku talking plans about building a garrison of droids here as a strategic move because of the planet's location to everything. The door flung open and five men walked in, guns drawn. They started at the finery of Sith regalia you were dressed in, the red leather top and side slit red satin pants but with you regular belt accenting your curves and the two new ignited sabers in your hand in a defensive stance. Their faces riddled with disgust seeing you at Count Dooku's side, protecting him. You watched as Echo's jaw fell but closed it immediately. You turned them off and returned them to your hips, placing your hands behind your back.

"I can not harm them, but I can however keep them distracted while you leave, Master."

"The infamous Squad 99?" He asked

"Yes."

"The pleasure is mine" giving a small bow, "but I have other matters to attend too, keep them busy. The box with the saber will be on their ship. Until we meet again, Apprentice," he smiled followed by a small procession of droids leaving you the rest of the small convoy.

You could feel their eyes bore into you, "Either you turn those to stun if you aim at me or I will actually use force," you declared.

"Give the order, Hunter. She is the enemy," Crosshair said with his finger on the trigger waiting to blast, lowered by still aiming at your feet and you saw the blaster was in fact not on stun.

Your hand twitched for your saber, something was different about him, the bags under his eyes darker and he felt... colder. Hunter stared at you, how you stood a little more taller, stronger and bolder, wondering if Crosshair was right all along.

"Cody said to trust her," Wrecker said.

"General?" The droids asked turning to look at you.

"I trust her," Hunter confirmed, they all aimed at the droids instead besides Crosshair; his trigger finger twitching.

"You tin cans are so dead," you laughed at the droids, "good luck."

You turned to walk out and let the boys take care of the droids. As you did you heard blaster fire coming your way without thinking your hand slipped to the red saber and reflected it back. Your heart dropped when you saw Crosshair duck out of the way.

"He's mine to deal with," you shouted the orders at the droids.

"Roger Roger" they moved out the way, shooting at the rest of the squad instead.

He fired again, "So Crosshair not only did you rip out my heart, you've decided to go against your sergeant and against me," you hissed, more of 'her' Dooku made coming out, "You can kill me here or die. The choice is yours, put the blaster down and walk away or we fight and the force decides," your hand going to your other saber letting its yellow light illuminate the ground.

"I've never been one for following orders," he said rapidly shooting shooting.

Tech watched the exchange, watching you easily deflect the shots methodically stepping closer to him knowing what was about to happen if he didn’t intervene. He shot the closes droids out of his way, jump rolling towards Crosshair stunning him before it could go any further but not before one of his own blast was reflected and grazed him next to his neck.

"CROSSHAIR!" Hunter yelled ripping his Vibro Knife into the head of a droid.

Echo watched stunned as you stood over Crosshair, holding the red saber over his unconscious body, noticing the tiny tremble in your hand with a single tear escaping down your cheek. He watched your hand moved closer becoming just a couple inches away from his heart.

"Cover me!" Hunter yelled slinging his blaster back and barreling towards you.

Hunter's hand cover yours pleading, allowing Tech to slap a patch on the wound "You don't need to do this."

"It would be peaceful" your tone emotionless still staring down at him, your heart ripping again that one of the men you love just tried to kill you.

Hunter clicked the saber off carefully waiting to see if you'd strike. His heart was racing, he didn't know if this was his Reaper that stood infront of him or his enemy. He looked to see that all of the droids were dead before taking his helmet off.

"You left us," his voice showing his defeat.

"YOU never responded to my transmissions... you never came for me. Do you realize the things I've had to do to get this saber back? That YOU could have prevented" You exclaimed getting more and more angry.

"Sorry it took so long, I figured they would have gotten you by now," Wolffe glared at them walking in with Cody and what looked like a full battalion behind them battling the droid forces outside with both Master Plo and Obi on their heels.

"Good thing we brought some back up. Your doing?" Cody smiled, pointing towards outside.

“Perhaps the sharing of information could have been beneficial,” Tech said with Wolffe glaring.

“It’s not hard to figure out that her nick name is the frequency, quite the coincidence that their the same length,” Wolffe growled watching Tech blink and type in the numbers and stare at all of messages.

"Better late than never I suppose," you said removing your hand from Hunter's, "What's the situation?" You asked voidly.

"Them, General Plo and I will head to the front to assist while General Kenobi and Commander Cody escort you and the memory crystal, which we already retrieved, back to Zetabed."

"General Kenobi, do you think you could go in my stead? I wouldn't mind cleaning up some of my mess"

"Unfortunately due to how valuable the asset is I've been tasked with escorting it Zetabed and the incident on Mithril with the beheading of Master Zallo. However It would be a shame to let such an opportunity pass for you practice your combat skills."

"You did what you had too, in war there are sacrifices that have to be done for the greater good. I am glad you and the information is safe," Master Plo added.

The sound of blaster fire somehow relaxing you, it almost turned into music. Cody noticed the familiar demeanor and the glint of battle twinkling in your eyes. He gave Wolffe a knowing look which got an eye roll and a smirk. They pressed the seal on their helmets because they knew it was going to be a race to the front lines. You bowed to the Masters, running out the door with your boys and the squad behind you ready for a fight but that was stopped quick when you got outside to see one of the pack was standing there with a crate, you opened it to find your armor.

"Don't mind if I do," you smiled undressing, slipping into your blacks and equipping the armor.

"Warning, karking hell," Cody said staring upwards.

“Wooza,” you heard Wrecker say probably staring at the new tattoo that covered the sides of your thighs and trailed around your torso stopping under your breast.

"Oh come on, it's not like you haven't walked in on worse," your eyes were drawn to the saber you left in your room on the marauder at the bottom of the box, it felt like a distant memory in a life forgotten.

You held it pressing it against your forehead, greeting it like an old friend before returning it to the box and took the matching saber off your belt and also placed it in the box questionably opting for the new ones. It wasn't the time to feel the pain of last holding both of those. You slung your blaster holsters back on, kissing the beautiful matching blaster set before putting them in the holsters.

"To those who fought," you said.

"To those who won," Cody added.

"To those who lost," Wolf repeated.

"To those who became the spirit of battle; eternal glory-"

"May your name be forever sung-" Hunter cut in.

"In the eternal song of those of Mandalore," Tech finished fiddling with his goggles, realizing the deep sentiment of the children's war chant and wondered who she was mourning.

"To War?" She said smiling at Wolffe.

"With you? Always, these tinnies don’t stand a chance” Wolffe watched the newfound skills, graceful and disastrous. The yellow blade dancing tirelessly deflecting and red blade mowed down clankers with controlled arch's and simple wrist flips that caused the blade to completely spin. Wolffe and Cody quick to catch up.

"It seems she's picked them," Crosshair groaned finally sitting up.

"She's been with Count Dooku for almost two months, she’s probably trying feel something familiar again-" Echo tried to defend pulling Crosshair up.

"Given she is using the red saber, even though hers were available and with the regs, don't defend her. The person you loved is gone, move on," he said cracking his stiff neck and pulled off the red soaked patch. He grabbed his rifle, "Orders?" He asked Hunter.

"Commander Cody has ordered us to the front lines so let's go," he said charging after her, hoping Crosshair was wrong.

"Let’s shred them," you smiled knowing the metal carnage that was about to ensue.

"Alright boys, the General's sick of looking at all this metal. Let’s put on a show," he teased into his coms.

It took about three seconds before you heard the 'Woof' come from the pack, several troopers switching to tossing bombs letting metal pieces flying in the air. It made your blood and heart race. You danced a few steps with a twirl but not stopping your hands it was a perfect symphony of destruction.

"You know I've thought a lot settling down recently," you purred deflecting a shot aimed at Wolffe, "on a battlefield," you laughed, finding a small shred of normalcy.

"I think you should look up!" Wolffe laughed.

You looked up to see a seppie ship burning, "He should be just about done. Gregor, how is operation Present going?"

"You are free to hand over the Present!" He called over the com.

Wolffe tossed you a red little button from a pocket, "Happy Birthday."

"Oh my maker, I've always wanted one of these!" You said wiping a theatrical tear, "Best birthday present ever!" you said pushing the bottom. You watched the burning ship lit up explosions happening everywhere. The ship was eventually going to crash somewhere on the planet... but given how many bombs were going off there wasn't going to much left to worry about when it entered the atmosphere.

"She's perfect!" Wrecker hollered.

"To bad who you knew is gone," Crosshair said taking his anger out on the droids. She's not her anymore. She killed a Jedi. She's not Reaper anymore, "Agh" he slipped out rapidly firing at droids each hitting their mark.

Echo watched her, Cody and Wolffe, "There so... in sync," he mumbled.

"They fight like we do. Together," Tech observed.

"She's with who she belongs with. Let it go!" Crosshair called.

"Enough." Hunter ended.

"It's not like you loved her, either Hunter."

"Enough!"

Crosshair rolled his eyes, it tore him apart but the sooner she was gone the sooner they could move on. Echo watched in pain the distance that she put between them, wondering if she even cared that they were there. Hunter's throat went dry, he never voiced that he loves she didn't know she's uses the force so shouldn't she feel it? Wrecker was jealous, unabashedly jealous switching to taking droids out with his fist. Tech was happy that she was alive but it still didn't fix the hole in his chest because they found her on accident.

You stopped Cody and Wolffe, two bounty hunters appeared in front of you. You rested one hand on your hip letting it stick out a little with the yellow saber still ignited and the other pointed at the ground.

"Aren't you handsome," you said to the taller hunter, "and you.. well the things I would do to you," you said to the hunk of muscles that was obviously the main hunters partner, "so how much is the bounty? And who?"

"A couple thousand credits to bring you alive to your Masters old apprentice, now make it easy on us."

"Ventress," Wolffe sneered.

"Shame, I would have loved to take you boys home with me but I don't associate with people who take orders from her," You raised the hand with the red saber, the rage and anger boiling up as the power you wielded rose the two men into the air, a cynical smiling spreading while it suffocated them "Where ever are my manners," you said stepping forward to let your finger trail down their cheeks, "I am Death, and I will be the last person you see."

Their eyes were locked on you as their necks snapped and they went limp and you dropped them, "If she's going to send bounty hunters after me at least give me a challenge or come after me herself, how sloppy" you scoffed stepping over their bodies, finally on the front lines.

"I told you she's gone," Crosshair said still shooting.

"Reaper..." Cody said looking at the carnage and how easy it was

"What? It was quick."

"It was still harsh."

"War is ugly, get use to it," you said rushing forward, your sabers dragging behind as you pushed into the front lines.

You jumped your way through several groups of troopers using clankers as stepping stones towards the approaching modified destroyer droids you helped design with an amazing fatal flaw. Their heads.

"What the HELL, was that?" Echo yelled.

"I don't know," Hunter said looking down at the two dead bounty hunters.

"They were no longer useful?" Tech interjected with dry humor.

"She's became who Dooku wanted ," Wolffe said also looking down the two men.

"And I hope she's still in there.." Echo said looking back up.

You jumped down in herd of droids, spinning slicing through them like a small precise tornado. It was almost a single person dance.

"Looks like your having fun!" Cody said once he caught up.

"I'm finally starting to feel like some version of me."

"You are always you, but how in balance you want to be is up to you!" He said taking out the droid he noticed sneaking up.

You stared down at the red saber, it’s power "You're right," you clipped the red saber back on your belt, until you got your anger under control it was to much of a temptation.

"Welcome back" you heard the smile in Cody's voice.

"Thanks Commander!"

Knowing you were one saber short he backed your flank. Wolffe looked relieved when he caught up and saw the red gone. Thank the Maker he thought.

"We've been ordered to head back and let the boys and rest handle what little is left."

"Maybe she isn't as gone as you thought she was," Tech noticing the change in her fighting style and the bright red light was no where in sight as they made their way to them. He heard them say to join them "this is going to be fun," Tech muttered.

"So what trouble do you think you'll be in?" Cody asked once they got to where the ships were.

"None, any offense is pardoned already."

"Dutchess Death," you heard the transdoshan say coming out of the shadow with a grin.

"Finally a bounty hunter worth my time, how are you Slicer, you handsome lizard."

"Not here for-s a bounty, just here to say good-s luck but I will be seeing you soon and-s Count Dooku offers you one more present," he hissed, tossing a small bag at you before melting back into the shadows.

"Who the hell was that?" Wolffe asked lowering his blaster.

"Part of my mess," you opened the bag, inside was a small long range communicator with an ear piece and a data key and placed in your belt pocket.

Obi and Plo arrived with the squad behind them, "Impressive fighting," Obi said breaking the ice.

"Count Dooku may be a monster but he does know how to weld a blade, I do not like the man but I can appreciate talent when I see it," you peaked to see if the look on there faces changed but it didn't.

Wolffe tucked his helmet under his arm and so did Cody, “I think you should talk to Gregor when we get back," Wolffe said.

"At the end of the day, with whatever decisions you have to make you have to be able to live with them. Remember what I said earlier," Cody added.

"Thank you-"

"We are making a slight detour before heading back because I obviously forgot it was your birthday, perhaps a quick banquet?" Obi offered.

"Maybe just a stop at 79's for a shot? It’s already been an exciting day.”

"Very well then," Obi smiled, "We'll meet you there."

He took commander Cody and the rest of the his assault force in the ships and took off, you tried following Wolffe and Plo but got told to be with squad 99. They were still waiting you entered the ship without a word heading straight to your room, the masters saber and your other two were on the freshly made bed. The ship was eerily silent, there was an occasional footstep going past the door but no one entered. You sat on the floor and crossed your legs trying to mediate. Count Dooku taught you about using the strength of your rage and anger to fight but the other things you had to do haunted you. He was smart, wise and cunning but also one of the most cut throat and merciless person you've ever met and that’s what everyone saw you be. Duty comes first no matter what. You couldn't get yourself to focus and leaned your head against the mattress.

"Fark," you mumbled, your heading spinning.

A small quiet tap came from the other side of the door that you almost hit it besides the anxiety you could feel from the other side of the door.

"What is it?" You called your hands on your sabers quietly unclipping them.

"It's me," you heard Echo's voice, before he opened the door.

"Enter," you said flatly putting your saber back.

"Worried about Crosshair trying something?" He asked looking down the movement of my hands closing the door behind him.

"Any of you really," you admitted.

“Everyone is out there trying to figure out what to say-”

“If there wasn’t anything left to say when I left, there isn’t anything left to say now.”

“I still lo-“

“Don’t, I don’t need your pity. I just want to be alone,” harshness lathering across the words.

“Come home, please,” he felt like he was suffocating, “No matter what you did, your one of us. Remember that,” he left taking just a few steps away from the door before sliding down the wall sitting on the ground, he wasn’t an often an emotional man, but several cascaded out in silence. He knew everyone heard the exchange and no one had a word to say

“Where’s home?” Hunter heard you whisper.

Tech read each message, each one worse then the last. The plans for each attack that was carried out, ways to stop it and found the part where she left like she was no longer herself wondering if there was still a place for her in the galaxy and he stopped breathing. He didn’t realize the grip his hand on the datapad until it broke. He started breathing again, his leg shaking.

“You can stay here or have a drink. I don’t care,” you said as soon as you landed on Coruscant and the ramp was lowered.

“Apathy won’t help you heal-“

“It’s not apathy- it’s emptiness.”

“The generals got summoned for a briefing so your stuck with us until we leave,” Cody said once you arrived, getting you out of your head.

“I’ll drink ANYTHING except what ever we had last time,” Wolffe said remembering his own rules that he broke and the amount of sick he was after.

“I’ll take ten of whatever we had last time, I obviously didn’t have enough of it,” you laughed, it was short but not humorous and they noticed.

You sat at the bar for once, “strongest you got,” he started at you, usually the life of the party but saw the hollowed husky in your eyes.

“For you? A glass,” he said pouring the vile stuff into a medium glass.

“You can tell?” You asked.

“Everyone can.”

You looked at the liquid chugging half of it, making a gagging sound remembering how disgusting and how disgustingly strong it was. Cody started at you, worried, not a single joke or shamelessly flirting with some random brother or picking a fight.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner, I made the same mistake of giving them the benefit of the doubt. I should have-“ Wolffe started.

“There’s a lot of things we should have done but now, it’s how we should move forward,” Cody the wise asked.

“I’m not sure there’s a forward for me,” you said taking another drink, “I wonder if it’s time to hang them up and retire somewhere.”

“Retire?” Wolffe asked.

“You should see my pardon list for this mission and then ask me that.”

“Reaper,” Wolffe said reaching out putting his hand on hour shoulder, “I did, I know you would never do such horrible things without cause, whatever was on that memory crystal was far to important.”

“Doesn’t make me feel better. Although that minor genocide charge was completely unfounded, that one plant ate children. If anything that was a public service,” the humor was dry but they still laughed which let you genuinely smile.

“I’m just glad your home.”

“What is up with everyone and that word home. No where is home,” you said starting to get mad finishing your drink, “I don’t need a home, I need three basic things, drinking, fighting and fucking.”

“Two out three isn’t bad,” Cody took a drink knowing where this was going, “Us clones don’t really have a home either, the closes thing we have is Kamino. We go ship to ship, place to place, battlefield to battlefield. Home is just as easily a feeling of being where you belong not just a place.”

“I definitely don’t have that either,” you said finishing the drink, “anymore,” your face puckered.

Cody got called over by a group a guys, he didn’t want to leave you alone but Wolffe gave him a little nod to go and figured this was about to be a personal moment with an idea about where it was going to go.

Wolffe scooted a little closer and put his hand on your leg, “You’ll always have a home with the 104th waiting and with me. I shouldn’t have let you go.”

“I learned a lot and I guess that’s what is eating at me.”

“It’s how you use what you learned that is important,” he said telling him no to another drink, “Well… you had two of the three things you need? I think we have time for the third.”

You stared at him the seriousness in the offer, “If I recall you didn’t want to cross that line again.”

“I shouldn’t have done a lot of things, but I can’t undo them but I can be at peace with them and try to fix what I did wrong,” he said staring at you waiting for a response.

“What did that datapad ever do to you?” Hunter laughed looking at it sputter on the floor, then the expression on Tech’s face, “You read the transmissions didn’t you?”

“Astute observation,” Tech gridded out with an eye roll picking up the datapad and putting in his bag grabbing another one switching over the luckily viable memory board.

“Tech-“

“Hunter, now is not the time. There is nothing I can do to fix what I did nor undo what happened because of it even though could have been prevented. Due to my clouded judgement, finding those should have been obvious. Crosshair might be right, maybe she should stay with them because I can’t focus on obvious.”

“You know why you can’t focus, the regret and guilt you try to hide. Do you really want to feel like this forever?” Hunter asked, hoping once again Tech would make the right decision.

You watch Wolffe whisper something in Cody’s ear receiving something between a scowl and a smirk, “Alright, alright. I’ll cover, go.”

It had been forever since Wolffe wrapped his fingers around yours, getting a couple howls from the boys watching. “Get it Commander,” both of you laughed, He smirked as you both walked he kept looking down your hand in his. That home is what home is, he wanted to say but not ruin it.

“What’s on your mind?” You asked feeling his busy thoughts.

“Trying to remember the last time,” he admitted.

“How about you focus on this time?” You winked pulling him into the hotel room you booked for the next two hours.

You kissed him, pulled back to look at him to see if their was any regret this time and there wasn’t. He pulled you back in, quickly peeling off your armor like a day hadn’t go by since he last did it and you took to undoing his. Your hands traced his blacks, feeling the crisp cut muscle underneath your heart pounding loud enough that your ears hurt.

“Are you sure?” You whispered barely able to hear yourself

“Yes.”

You stripped yourself of the blacks and he did the same, kissing you towards the bed. You tried push him down to be on top but he didn’t budge until you laid down. He kissed up your leg starting at the ankle stopping at the inner thigh and switched to the other one.

“Wolffe,” you let out as his mouth got closer to where you wanted it.

“Don’t rush me,” he mused, kissing up both of your hip bones, “or I’ll go slower,” he said kissing back down his mouth finding you.

“Oh… Maker” you moaned, his mouth remember the perfect spot.

A shiver shot down your body at being touched, you felt a drop of you suddenly leak out just for him to lap it up letting his tongue push against your entrance before going to stop. His tongue circling you with a slight pulse, your hands grabbed his hair no longer be to hear the moans over the sensation of him.

The pain in Wolffe’s cock was almost unbearable, it was trying to slowly pump itself into the bed to make the ache stop he locked himself tight to get it to stop. He’d almost forgotten what your arousal did to him, the taste of it causing a frenzy. He stroked the spot harder with his tongue watching your hips tremble as you about to come on his face. Wolffe didn’t miss a single drop that poured out the entrance he desperately wanted, letting his tongue explore the part it could reach enjoying your amazing taste. He pulled his tongue out and kissed your pretty pulsating clit. You looked down to see him grinning but you were barely conscious, the sensation had to be stronger then the ecstasy of spice.

“Aw, are you tapping out already,” he said moving up to see the pleasure across your face.

“Wolffe… put it in me right now, please,” you begged, head still reeling.

He couldn’t control himself anymore, every inch of his being screaming out to obey. He almost came right there in you, feeling your cushioned soaked walls grab ahold of him. “Maker you feel so good,” he moaned gently starting to stroke his cock with your pussy. You let your legs spread a little wider hoping he would get the idea and he did.

He rolled his hips faster into you. It felt like a fever dream that he was going to wake up from any second and you would be back with them, with him never getting a chance to say or show how he felt. He used that spite to go faster as he heard every plea escape your lips for him. Every stroke your walls tighten on him little by little trying to coax the orgasm out of him.

You moved your legs, locking his ankles down with yours, adjusting your hips so they would be more in line with him. He let out a groan so disgustingly hot that you knew it would be on your mind for the rest of the day. His strokes unintentionally matching the panting of your breaths for him. Every nerve in your body was on fire feeling the tip of his dick rub into the clot of nerves with his long but fast strokes. Your core tighten and your fingers dug into his muscular back, your heart physically feeling like it was shaking as your body wound tight getting ready to release. He growled as the tidal wave took you, causing you to clench around him and milked him into coming with with you.

“Crink,” his voice hoarse and the rest of his body still shuttering, he switched from being on his hands to his elbows resting his head on your chest trying to not squish you until the shaking stopped.

He pulled out of you careful, another moan escaping at the sensation and laid down gasping. Your hand down his held tight, your ears burning and grey spotting your visions. Wolffe was dizzy, his head reeling from the sensation but he managed to smile that the sensation hadn’t change meaning the connection between both of you was still there. He looked down to see a little cum coming out, “Still?” Before he could wipe it up your hand let go of his and swiped it up with your finger and stuck in your mouth, a moan escaping both of you.

“How about you put that cock in mouth so

I don’t miss a drop?”

“Maker,” he moaned putting his legs on side of you and pointy his still hard dick towards your mouth.

Your head still burned but you moved your head to where he could pump the load that was waiting to come out down your throat. It took a little coaxing to get him to start going but it didn’t take long to get the message. You wrapped your arm under his leg to play with his choobies to keep them from smack into your chin.

Wolffe’s knuckles were turning white from his tightly he was grabbing the head board as he used your mouth for his pleasure. He made the mistake of looking down, your lips wrapped down him, a little bit of saliva running out, and the desperation in your eyes for him to come. He exploded in the back of your throat mid thrust, your name spilling from his lips. You swallowed every dropped of the his warm creamy delicious cum. He stayed there until his felt cock finally start going soft before he rocked himself back on his heels feeling like his heart was going to give out. He notice arms still shaking clenching the head board, dropping them and they started tingling.

You both were gasping, but you removed your arm letting him collapse next to you. Even gasping both of your breaths falling into sync. It was silent but your mind was finally silent except for one gnawing thought. What or who were they doing in their free time tonight and for the last two months.

His hand once again slipped into yours, “Definitely a shower before we go,” he said kissing your neck deciding he still had a couple more left in him.

Tech listened to everything his eyes squeezed shut, he probably looked like a degenerate standing outside an occupied room but it felt like a stab in the heart it that froze him in place and almost made him bang on the door to get it to quit but noticed it finally went silent. He understood they left one of there own behind for two months and it was the deepest betrayal of everything they stood for but they never stopped looking or trying. Did it have to be with him? He quelled the anger rising, letting out one harsh breath. He was the most logical choice, it obviously had to be him. Admitting three little words when he saw her again could have prevented all of this because what he feared already happened anyway. He opened his eyes and left her to enjoy herself for the time being, she needed this and Wolffe probably as much as Tech probably needed her right now.

#star wars #bad batch #bad batch boys #bad batch clones #star wars bad batch #starwars #the bad batch #bad batch crosshair #starwars smut #bad batch hunter #star wars fanfiction #bad batch tech #the bad batch smut #poly bad batch smut #bad batch wrecker #the bad batch x reader #the bad batch x you #the bad batch echo #the bad batch fic #bad batch fanfic #clone wars wolffe #commander wolffe #the clone wars fanfiction #the clone wars wolffe #commander wolffe smut

[thewholedamnboulangerie]

reverse uno? :D

hiiiiiiiii!! :D

SO. Reverse Uno is, i think, the very first KinnPorsche fic I started writing (okay nope I just checked, it was the second - til the daylight comes has it beaten by 2 whole weeks lol) - it was a vague idea that started kicking around in my head almost immediately after the show ended, and involved Tankhun finding out about The KimChay Of It All™, deciding to matchmake them back together, and Chay immediately realising what he's doing and just going "...okay well. reverse uno. i see the way you and Arm look at each other and I'm gonna matchmake you right back 😌"

BUT ALAS I got distracted by MANY other shiny ideas, and this one fell by the wayside and has not been picked up in a VERY long time. Given how long the outline for this was (there were a LOT of shenanigans, including Tay being inducted as Chay's partner in crime) and the lack of inspiration I've had for it for the past [checks notes] year, it will probably never be finished, but I still really really like the opening! so I've put it under the cut:

Throughout the three glorious decades thus far that Khun Tankhun Theerapanyakul had deigned to grace the earth with his presence, there had certainly never been a shortage of epithets employed to describe him. Once upon a time, he was loudly proclaimed to be ‘heir’; in recent years, the ever-present whispers of gossip preferred to deem him ‘lunatic’; always, for as long as he can remember, above all else, he had been ‘brother’.

Of course, none of those titles were ones that he’d had the chance to choose himself.

He’d have chosen the last one, if the choice had been his. The other two? Or practically any of the other descriptors that the constant swirl of staff and guards and hard-eyed business associates through the mansion’s doors might have thought to affix to him? Not so much.

Perhaps, he mused, it was time to select one on his own terms.

---

“Oracle?”

“Oracle,” Tankhun confirmed, with a vigorous nod of his head. “The Oracle of Bangkok, Khun Tankhun Theerapanyakul. Or - the Oracle of Thailand? Maybe I should broaden my horizons a bit more.” He paused for a moment, frowning. “Arm! Do you think my horizons are sufficiently broad?”

Arm raised an eyebrow. “I think your horizons can safely be described as the route between this mansion and Hum Bar, Khun Nu. If you wish to broaden them, I’d appreciate if you could give me a few days’ notice to work out an updated security protocol.”

Tankhun huffed out an affronted sigh. “Metaphorical horizons, Arm! In my newly-discovered capacity as a sacred vessel for esoteric knowledge and prophecy!”

“Oh!” All eyes turned to Pol. “Is that what oracle means?”

Arm hid a smile in the cuff of his sleeve. “And what wisdom would you care to enlighten us with, Khun Oracle of Bangkok or possibly Thailand?”

Tankhun narrowed his eyes, at that - any time he heard anything remotely similar to that sort of tone directed at himself, it usually had him raising his hackles, was usually too patronising and cloying to merely be considered teasing.

But this was Arm, and there was no malice to be seen in his eyes as he met Tankhun’s from across the room. Just honest playfulness, of the sort that Arm would occasionally indulge in when Tankhun and the closest of his bodyguards were alone together, with only themselves as witnesses.

(Come to think of it, that playfulness had been a fraction less rare since Porsche arrived in their lives. Tankhun made a mental note that it was one more thing he had to thank Porsche for.)

#ask game #my fic #kinnporsche

[lakesbian]

Any thoughts on a fitting implement for Blake or Rose? Or for any of the Undersiders?

i will declare right now for my own sake that i shannot discuss the matter of the undersiders as practitioners presently or i will enter an autistic fugue state regarding alec vasil and we will never finish getting through all of the pact questions + resume reading the book. I will continue fermenting my opinions on this matter and return to it at a later date when i have more information to confirm my thoughts.

as for blake: The Stone. no i'm just kidding to make fun of him. it would really be helpful if i had more information on All of the most common implements but i get the gist well enough.

first of all i will state for the record that i do not think blake's aptitude with glamour (as of 3.5) is actually even remotely indicative of his approach to being a practitioner. he's not fucking confident at all with it! glamour is quite literally "fake it til you make it" but magic--if he was intuitively skilled at it, you would expect him to respond to rose's "haha i hope this works or you're fucked!" with "pshh of course it will work," but instead he nervously goes "i hope it works also :(" and then proceeds to sweat bullets the entire time. and despite being constantly paranoid that his glamour is going to be seen through, despite being a complete amateur with it, he gets so into it that it not only holds up largely perfectly but starts seeping into his cracks and emotionally effecting him. as rose put it, It's Not Supposed To Be That Easy. and the fact that it Is despite him...not really being very good at it, i think that indicates more of a weakness he's occasionally able to leverage as an advantage (albeit at intense personal cost) than a genuine talent. that man is getting Corroded. get corroded and subsumed by the violent expectations your family has set for what you were Supposed to be, you fucking nerd.

anyway. as for his actual approach thus far, he's like. hm. as i discussed some during arc 1, he's extremely willing to roll with the punches (& punch back) when he needs to. as much as being humiliated or acting violently upsets him, he can take it And dish it when it's necessary 4 survival. he really really really wants to climb to better circumstances and have a peaceful home and a family comprised of people who are good to him & whom he's good to in return. but ultimately he's extremely familiar with being homeless and beat down and viewed as less worth than dirt, and it's a misery he knows how to force himself through. which is to say his practitioner approach is Miserable Desperate Scrambling by a dude with a Scrambling Degree. he's exceedingly direct so far. he finds out how faeries work and then immediately fights a faerie by literally just telling her how faeries work. he's not, like, utterly lacking in self-preservation during negotiations, but he's pretty direct about attempting to State How Something Is in a convincing manner instead of attempting to mislead people. he responds to finding out that maggie killed his cousin by telling her to fuck right off instead of using her guilt to get a better deal like he could've. etc. ultimate move of Hit You With Pipe or Try To Call The Cops On You (Again) because he simply does not have enough of a knowledge or power base for anything more indirect or clever as of yet. not inherently opposed to trickery per se but thus far he's preferred to feel like all of his actions are some level of morally justifiable, and he's distinctly targeting people who have made the most notable moves against him.

i was sort of hoping that writing all that would make an idea magically pop into my head or brain but it did not. it would be cool if it ended up being a mirror. i can't defend that statement but i think it would be cool! let me see. i think something unique and somewhat decorative in a way that bolsters his personal identity would be fitting, because he stakes a lot on personal identity. he values his body being His to exist in and express himself with, he likes art, he likes having nice new things. i think an implement which bolsters his own sense of self & makes being a practitioner something more comfortable + confident would be a good balance to how thus far it's just sapped him and degraded his identity. something stabilizing, in a way. is that anything. but a talisman doesn't fit, because he Is pretty brash and concerned with the real. something unique and somewhat decorative but with a clear purpose and very direct/blunt application? still struggling for precise objects here, but i think talking abt the Idea behind an implement for him instead of just naming an object is fine.

#ask #pact time #my god that was a lot of words to say not much at all

[basicallyahedgehog]

20 questions for fic writers!

Thanks for the tag @maesterchill, I loved reading your answers!

Here are mine! (under the cut)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 30!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

64,491, which is higher than I expected actually. My one 13k fic is doing the hard work in pulling up the average words 😂

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Harry Potter!! Various ships but mostly Drarry

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Love You Find - The one with the road trip My Heart Was Unprepared - The one with Draco's diary All The Time In The World - The one with gender euphoria The Strings That Weave Us - The one where Draco has pink hair The Evolution of Soup (Or How Harry Learned to be Loved) - The one with too much soup and a lot of feelings

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

No, but not by choice per se. But I have truly terrible object permanence and by the time I remember them I feel bad that I haven't responded yet and then I never do...

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Til The End of The Night - I don't really write fics that don't have happy endings, but this is just 700 words of angst. Sorry Harry. I do have a kind-of sequel planned for this but who knows if it will ever get finished!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

As I said, I don't really write not happy endings. But maybe The Love You Find.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've had a couple of odd comments, but none that I would class as hate.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have written exactly two fics that have smut, one drarry and one poly golden trio. So I'm not sure if I have a kind? Probably soft and sweet, or at least that's what I aim for.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No I haven't, and I don't think I ever will. I don't really know any other universe in the same way as I know HP - both the canon and then the world I've built for it in my head - to be able to confidently combine them.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of...

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I'd be open to it if anyone ever wanted to.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't! @phoebe-delia and I keep talking about it though...

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Drarry, always

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

As mentioned above, I have twoish chapters written of a "sequel" (maybe more a companion?) to Til The End Of The Night. It's the first Drarry fic I started writing and it got abandoned in favour of fest fics and I've never gotten back to it. I would like to think I will, but at this point my faith is low!

I also have the first four books written of a Hermione-POV canon, which was my first ever fanfic. It has been long abandoned and will never be returned to. If you manage to track down my old ffn account and find it, godspeed to you

16. What are your writing strengths?

Ummm. People tell me I make them feel things, so maybe that? I also can't turn my SPAG brain off, so as long as I slow down enough to edit my own writing, that's usually pretty strong.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am not good at writing plotty things, and when I do try I find it really hard to not just info-dump it - to actually describe what is happening instead of just narrating it to the reader. I can do vibes, but not plot 🤷

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I love it in other people's fics, but I do not have more than a couple of random words in any language other than English. I know that translation sites exist, but I feel that I don't have enough knowledge of other languages to do it justice.

The only time I'd break this self-imposed rule would be if I was making new spells - eg using Latin.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. First and only!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Oh boy. Either All The Time in the World or (They) Keep Me Warm. Because both of them are full of all my trans feels and are probably the two fics that I have put the most of myself into.

Thanks again for the tag, this was fun! No-pressure tagging @phoebe-delia @otpcutie @geesenoises @citrusses @makeitp1nk and anyone who wants to!!

#tag games #writing things #my writing

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

"This might hurt a little" I say to Evan. He is sitting at my kitchen table and I'm tending to his very beautiful, but very injured face. We went out tonight to a bar and this extremely drunk guy started harassing me. Evan stepped in and the guy punched him in the face. Thank God for one of the guys sitting there being a bouncer for the bar. He was off work and just hanging out. He grabbed the guy and literally threw him out of the bar.

"That fuckwad waited til you went to the bathroom, didn't he" I say as I'm wiping blood from Evan's nostril. He winces and then laughs. "What?" I asked amused.

"That's my favorite curse word"

"Well you're gonna need to say it in a second here. Hold on." I pick up a bag of peas and place it directly to his face. The guy was so drunk that he was a little weak in the execution, but he still managed to get Evan right in the eye and the bridge of his nose. Hard enough to make his nose bleed. Hopefully not to break it. Evan sucks in a sharp breath.

"Oh shit.I'm so, so sorry Evan. I feel so bad. This is all my fault" my emotions on my face.

"What are you talking about? That douchebag came on to you. It's his fault, not yours" he lifts my chin with his thumb. "Hey. I'm ok" his dark eyes soft.

I kiss his forehead, but that's not enough for him. He takes my face in his hands. I turn my head to the side so I don't bump his nose with mine and he softly kisses me on the lips. His nose starts bleeding again.

"Honey, let me check something. Can you hold this here for me?" Referencing the tissue to his bloody nose. He holds it for me. "Tell me immediately if any of this hurts, please" and I start feeling around his nose and his cheekbones and ocular bones.

"Whatcha doing?" He says

"Feeling to see if anything seems broken. I think you're fine. Gonna be swollen tomorrow and a black eye. Fuck, I'm so sorry."

"You know what to look for?"

"Yea I was in a nursing program, but the guy I was living with at the time started using my financial aid credit cards without my knowledge. Had to drop out cause I had no money and then was in a mess trying to get him for it. Finally did, but never finished school. I know how to check for a broken nose so I guess that came in handy" I let out a snorted laugh.

He chuckles. "Who knew you'd have me to be your knight in shining armour one day"

"yea, no shit"

"Well, I've had my nose broken before so I can tell you it's not" he says, sorta distant.

"Is that from what I think it's from?"

He nods

"Well now you just have me getting you into trouble" I say sadly.

"Yea, but you're actually worth it" he pulls me towards him.

He starts to kiss me. I try to awkwardly move my head to a position where I won't hurt him

"Hey, just kiss me. I'm ok." He says

I stare into his eyes. I run my hands down his face. His beard is soft and scratchy. I look up at his curls and then I brush his hair out of his eyes.

"You make me feel things" I say

He chuckles "Yea? You make me feel things too" he says quietly.

He puts his hands around my waist and pulls me closer. We kiss harder, our tongues meeting and dancing with each other. I pull away.

"I wanna ride you" I whisper to him

"Don't feel like you are obligated to do anything, ok?" He replies.

"No. I know. I want to."

He stands up and unzips his pants. I'm rushing to get my leggings off. I catch a quick glance of his full erection before he sits back down. We don't even remove our shirts. I straddle him and just plunge myself onto him. The friction is so goddamn intense. His girth is unbelievable. I moan so inappropriately loud and my face is contorted. He takes it the wrong way

"Hey, hey slow down if it hurts. It's ok, take your time. We are in no rush, baby. Take your time and adjust to me". His brows are knitted in concern.

"I'm so sorry, Ev. That moan was ridiculous. But, its not pain, believe me"

I adjust myself anyway and sink down. Slower this time. It's his turn to moan. "Don't ever apologize to me for that" he says into my mouth. Fire in his eyes.

I start moving in tight, small circles. Grinding my pelvis into his. Out foreheads smashed together. Breathing hard into each other's mouths as we kiss and tongue and tease. I get more wet as we go and I feel him slide in deeper.

"Oh, shit" he moans. "Put your leg up on the chair next to you" he demands. I do so

It's like a magnet pulls me into him and he is so deep I almost feel his tip hit my walls. We are at a delicious angle. I can't help myself and I start riding my cowboy. I grab his shoulders and start moving in wider circles. I can feel his girth hitting my walls. The angle is hitting my sweet spot and my legs start to shake. My muscles start involuntarily clenching. He knows I'm close

"Come on baby. Cum for your cowboy" he says teasingly.

He latches into my nipple and starts sucking. That pushes me right over the edge and I scream his name. I'm cumming so hard, I see stars.

"scream it again!" He cries

"Evan!!!" I oblige.

He gives me a second and whispers "fast for me baby" in my ear. That's all I need

I start bouncing on his dick like my life depends on it. His grip tightens on me. His eyes screwed shut.

"fast...." He whispering. Can barely talk.

I speed up and he lets out a cry

"Come on cowboy, you can do it. Cum inside me, you know you want it"

"ooh fuck me faster, babygirl"

Faster

"Oh shit..it..." He fucking explodes inside me. All he can let out are moan after moan after moan. He's trembling.

"maybe you should defend my honor more often" I say with a smile.

He can only let out a small laugh.

#fic

[yuriisclumsy]

Little Miss Genius (project snick-peek)

Hello my dear devotees! how's everyone's day goin? hope it's been well.

I wanted to post yet another project of mines (send help), here on tumbler.

this has nothing to to with any fandom. it is a work personally done by me, with its own little world.

If you which to get immerse, be my guest. do note, this was a ramble I had last month and there may be some...incoherent, thoughts.

warnings: Direct visuals from Mind's Works, there might be mistakes, not clear timeline.

Procced with caution.

You can get the picture by clicking(or tapping, for our dear mobile users) on it.

– March 17, 2023 –

Thought… I had a dream–or a daydream–about this little girl. She is a genius, a child you could only come across once in a lifetime. If it weren’t for her baby face and small height she could have been mistaken for an adult. She had surpassed the IQ’s of many of the greatest thinkers, winning against "great minds” from her time, and being recognized world-wide by institutions for being the smartest human to have ever walked this planet. Because of this, she earned the title “little miss genius”. 

Everyone around praises her for the great blessing she was bestowed with: vast knowledge and a pretty face. She thanks those who complimented her with manners and a smile, making people praise her even more, some even go as far as to say she’s “perfect”. Her pears are filled with nothing but jealousy and resentment for her intelligence and beauty, even the elders ask why they didn’t get this gift. 

If you knew the truth…the only emotion you would have shown her is pity. She hides underneath a mask that is specially crafted to store something sacred. A secret, Safe from prying eyes in her unreachable fortress, no-one will ever know what she concealed behind those walls of hers’. 

But…you do. The secret she keeps is within your reach, if you wanted, you could have exposed her truth long ago…. The truth of being stuck in a time-loop.

Waking up in the past…knowing exactly what is going to happen…is quite unsettling…and sometimes…scary. If scientists were to figure out that there is evidence of time-loops hell would break loose; the little girl would be nothing but a rat-lab to science. This is why you haven’t told anyone. 

Although it was sudden when you learned the secret, and even though you still haven’t wrapped your head around this whole ordeal, you still keep the secret, per little miss genius’s request.

[bruh, i can’t believe this came out of my brain]. Thought finished March 18, at 4:02 PM, 2023.

– March 20, 2023 –

Thought… someone just unplugged a brain blockage and I'm all for it. So this is a thought for the last thought I had on the 17th of this month; what if little miss genius is actually controlling the whole plot from the beginning?? Because this would make so much sense, like, since she has seen so many time-lines it would be fair that she got her own little book that she lived in, like????? You get what I'm saying??? OH. WHAT IF, when the book is about to end she goes, “I wonder… how are you going to proceed next time I tell you this ‘little’ secret of mine?” LIKE SHE’S GOING TO GO IN ANOTHER TIME LOOP AND REPEAT EVERYTHING AGAIN. I have to thank writertok for this.

So? did you enjoy it? I hope you did. and don't worry I'll make a character sheet for book...it's just going to take a while because of the other projects I have, but do tell if you have ideas for this book.

that is it for today my devotees, til' next time.

Yuri out–

#storytelling #story #fiction #original novel #original work

[justtogetthrough]

It'll be a week til I get the feedback forms from foster parents but my colleagues and upper management were THRILLED about my training today. I didn't finish it early enough to memorize so I was freaking out and so stressed out. My manager called me 30 mins before it this morning for the kind of pep talk she used to give me before meetings. Speak loud and strong, etc etc. Things i used to struggle with but haven't in a long time. I was so short with her bc I was anxious and trying to get another read through in before it began and she was wasting my time. So I let her speak for as long as I could tolerate before saying look, I'm busy preparing, is it okay if I let you go?

I ran out of time in the training which I wasn't expecting to (the script should have timed out well but again, not memorized, so) and I had to improvise a little. Missed the last couple slides but I can add to the follow up material being emailed out. I got through the academic part of it successfully though, IMO - this is the part I was most worried about losing people.

I had a foster parent and one of the managers text me during the break half way that they were LOVING IT and then after the training I had more staff reach out. What kills me though is the executive director herself called me after it all. I was so scared when she asked me to call her back so vaguely and sternly. She had to sit in on it because with any sensitive trainings that there's a chance people will be offended and complain, she ensures she is present for it to see what exactly is said. The last time we had a sensitive training it never even made it to the foster parents because of how rattled the white people on staff got. So I was very prepared for this to be deemed inappropriate or too upsetting and figured she was calling to be like yeah, pulling the plug on part 2. No more.

But... the ED called me and just absolutely raved about how amazing it was and how much I impressed her. We don't work together at ALL, ever, to the point where if I dye my hair she hasn't even recognized me lol. She *does* hear about me now and then through my manager in supervision and stuff, and the ED is kept abreast of me going on emergency medical leaves about once a year due to my mental health going into crisis and so I chronically worry she and my manager will decide I'm too unstable to be relied upon for this job. No reason really, I'm just scared bc of stigma and shit. And especially bc the ED doesn't know me at all, or see me doing my thing at work - so in my head I worry that all she sees me as is someone who's mentally unstable and unreliable lol.

So... I was absolutely freaked out that she'd be watching this training, my first run of a brand new training I literally only finished yesterday, and I was very worried because if extra people were gonna sit in (tons did) I wished it was the second or third run through not first. When she called she did explain that she wanted to be there primarily for liability purposes which makes way more sense at least, less judgey and more just back up in case ppl got mad.

But damn, the things she said. I cried. I covered my face because I was smiling so much it hurt - she had so much praise for me and she said she was so impressed at how I presented and handled the topic and just, how effective and warm and knowledgeable I was. She acknowledged she's never really seen me do anything in a professional capacity so she was extremely blown away, the way I carried myself and extended so much compassion and respect to our foster parents on a difficult and controversial topic she said exceeded her expectations and she wanted to personally congratulate me on a job well done.

It took me hours to recover emotionally from that honestly lol.

It was so nice.

This training is why I've been collecting things under the #trans tag for a year. It's been over a year of working on this training on gender identity. I present part 2 in December which is longer than I hoped for but meh. I have put so. much. work. into this. The feedback today has made it feel so worth it. Besides serving as the final thing that gets me my masters degree, which is itself huge, but these are non academic people. This is real world. Direct impact on people and their lives. It's so surreal.

I'm also just so glad to have this off my plate for now. The last 3 weeks of finishing it for todays deadline has been intense, it has taken up so much of my time. I work from 9-5 and then have been spending 6-10 or 11 preparing this training every single day. So stressful. To present the first half of it today and to have IMPRESSED so many people has been exhilarating. I'm so happy. It's been so wonderful.

I also really hope I get a good raise this summer now that my ED knows how awesome and skilled I am 😂 My talents are not exactly used to their fullest in my role, but my agency is really great about letting me do things like trainings and other forms of advocacy when I feel drawn to, especially when it comes to certain topics (especially queer stuff, but other things too), and it's a neat thing. My salary sucks balls but the work is so fulfilling and great for me in almost every other way.

But yeah this training preparation has been a big reason why I've been quiet lately. Spending all god damn day on my computer makes me really not wanna go on my phone at night once I'm in bed ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway. That's a lil joy from my life today. A huge joy really. I cried from happiness and was euphoric for hours 🙂

#the fp feedback will probably be mixed. theres a lot of christians and transphobes #ill be really interested to see how they evaluate me with that in context though. thatll be a great test of how my presentation skills are #personal

[pip-n-flinx]

okay this is pretty random, but did you read / watch lotr? that post you reblogged about it being post-apocalyptic just stopped me dead in my tracks, i’m wondering if i should read / watch if after all these years haha i was pretty damn young the first time i watched the films and i haven’t read the books…

Aight so I grew up watching the movies, I came to the books much later. I actually started by reading the Hobbit and then watched the movies with my friends. I actually never finished reading any of the books til I took a 22 hour road trip and my buddy Will had library copies of the audio books.

I'm not actually the biggest fan of how Tolkien does fantasy, tbh. I was just discussing with @pigeontheoneandonly the other day how betrayed I felt discovering that their names were not Frodo and Sam, but that was his attempt at translating these languages into English for us. Not to butt heads with the big Tolkien fanboys out there, I do admire all the thought that went into his worldbuilding. But let's get my own struggles with reading Tolkien out of the way right now.

I don't know if I'd recommend reading the books. They are, by design, plodding and character driven. Plot happens at the speed of Hobbits crossing the mountains on foot. What I can and always will give the books is you get more of that sweet, juicy party interaction, and several of the more minor characters in the movies had their due from the novel stripped from them for expediency of story telling. Theoden got to steal Eomer's greatest speech from the novels, for example, and as my memory serves you get more of Faramir as well.

What I can tell you is that, in no small part because of Tolkien's work, most modern fantasy exists in a period of world thinning. Magic is draining from Middle Earth as the Elves leave, and as ages pass knowledge is lost. This sets the tone for most modern fantasy really, from popculture works like H*rry P*tter to Phillip Pullman's homage to Milton's Paradise Lost in the His Dark Materials Trilogy. Game of Thrones exists in a world were magic is scarce and Dragons are few and far between, same with Paloni's Eragon. More recently the Shania Chronicles does this too. Dragon Age is another great example: the Orlesian Empire and Tevinter Imperium are shrinking, and while that may be a good thing for humanitarian reasons we no longer live in the age of Andraste, where the maker intervened directly in mortal affairs.

Funnily enough, even eastern fantasy pulls from this. Think Neon Genesis Evangelion (sci-fi not fantasy, but what is sci-fi but fantasy reskinned?) or Princess Mononoke/Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind. Truth be told, most fantasy authors use world thinning to make clear the stakes.

World thinning is also a great excuse for readers/characters to discover great archeological works. Places like the Great Pyramid, or Stone Henge, Machu Pichu, they leave us awestruck because it is unclear to us how such amazing things were accomplished. This sense of wonder, and at the ache for peoples and genius lost, is at the core of the fantasy genre.

In all seriousness, I'd encourage you to re-read/re-watch any fantasy and look for those moments. Many if not all of the best Fantasy stories will have this buried in the subtext. It plays on a very human nostalgia.

#fantasy #tolkien #lord of the rings #world thinning

[actiaslunaris]

2022 Fic in Review

Rules: filter to 2022 on your AO3 stat page and answer some questions/link some fics for everyone to enjoy! (Some of these questions were taken from a wrapup meme on Twitter and some from one seen on Dreamwidth. Twenty-five in all.)

1. Your yearly word count:

23,196 words. This is a lot to post. I actually wrote much more into works in progress, however.

2. Fave fic you wrote this year:

"over the water, over the sea (with you)" [https://archiveofourown.org/works/40664607]

I keep returning to this, because it encapsulates a depth of feeling I find hard to express in anything other than fanfic. I love writing these characters and getting inside their heads; I keep saying that and it keeps being true.

3. Fave fic you read this year:

"As You Like It" by RiverFragrance; it's so perfectly tropey. [https://archiveofourown.org/works/42446331]

4. Fave ship you wrote for:

Obvs, Yukawa/Utsumi. This was the only ship I wrote this year.

5. Fave character POV to write:

Yukawa Manabu's. This was on purpose, since I have a work in progress that's from his perspective, but has so far proven difficult to write. I've had to stay in the headspace for it. The easiest way to accomplish that was write most stories from his perspective.

6. Fave line you wrote:

"Past and present merge like colliding wavelengths, the pattern of interference now visible for what it is." (open the door, don't let it sting) [https://archiveofourown.org/works/41077578]

The way holograms are made is amazing and fascinating. Yukawa applying his knowledge of physics to his emotional state to achieve realization, gathering all the clues at last.

7. WIP you finally finished:

"the frequency you're giving off"   [https://archiveofourown.org/works/41335740, explicit]

I was assembling research items for this as far back as four years ago, when I came across a gif of a couple on the beach in front of a fire. At that point in time, I wasn't sure what it was meant for; I kept thinking about it and building understanding with research, until I arrived at this story.

8. WIP you've yet to finish:

"your chain tied to me tight"

A story about boundaries, communication, and ties that bind, set a few months after the conclusion of the first season of Galileo, for my personal project of a Kink Bingo card.

9. Your most read fic this year:

"open the door, don't let it sting" [https://archiveofourown.org/works/41077578]  

This, at the time of writing, has 72 hits, beating out "the frequency you're giving off".

10. Your longest fic this year:

Posted, it's "open the door, don't let it sting" at 7,993 words. Unposted, it's "'til they sparked" currently at 18,268 words. It's slow burn; actual literal slow burn for the first dang time in my life. I only hope I can stick the landing.

11. Your shortest fic this year:

"all you see is red" at 298 words. A tiny scene of Utsumi and Yukawa on a date in a museum. [https://archiveofourown.org/works/40300701]

12. Fave fic title you used:

"the frequency you're giving off" borrowed from a song by Alessi's Ark. I just love the way it wraps up all the themes in the story and I was also hoping I'd be the first to use this lyric as a title and I think I was? Though it doesn't matter if I wasn't.

13. Biggest surprise while writing this year:

Being able to stick to writing a story or scene for every one of the Sunshine Challenge's prompts for this year. Also, because of that, I was able to write a continuation to "Ready to Hope" which I truly thought would not happen.

14. Fave comment you received this year:

Probably cosmictuesdays's response to a snippet of a story I'm writing. I've thought about it at numerous times throughout the year and it pleases me each time.

15. Fave fic author to read this year:

RiverFragrance. Although I'm only just dipping my toe into all the Chinese fanfic that exists, RiverFragrance has such a good understanding of Yukawa and Utsumi and consistently delivers good plot.

16. Total fics/chapters uploaded this year:

Eight. This is very good for me and also seems to be what I can expect most years.

17. What are you looking forward to next year?

Finishing -- hopefully -- "your chain tied to me tight" in time for my birthday. After that? Just more works in progress over the summer; hopefully also writing the remaining four works of my 30Kisses project.

18. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

"drop through your likenesses" [https://archiveofourown.org/works/40300710]

This was written for Sunshine Challenge and 30Kisses, and I'm proud of it because it took a prompt I thought was going to be difficult, but by means of intense brain-storming I was able to write something I had only half-formed ideas for and make it exactly what I wanted. Additionally, it also is one of the best examples of my writing style. I've worked hard to clean my prose, while making it poetic, and this does that.

19. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

All the kudos on "wholly to be a fool" are rather a surprise. [https://archiveofourown.org/works/41987514]

20. What work was the quickest to write?

"all you see is red" Written in about two hours, into the box at Dreamwidth.

21. What work took you the longest to write?

"the frequency you're giving off" Started at the end of 2020 or beginning of 2021. I don't know because my first backed-up draft had many words in it, already and I can't recall when I started. *shrug*

22. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

Four documents started, ten in total planned.

23. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

Everything unfinished, of course. "'til they sparked" is proving to be the one that got out of hand, and it's just the third in a series of... possibly five stories. I don't even know at this point because my ideas for what I want to include are well-formed but impossible to place at the moment.

24. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

Maybe, possibly, mulling it over: Loid/Yor.

I also have an idea for a Kishitani & Kuribayashi fic that I like thinking about but would take a lot of planning.

25. What do you listen to while writing?

Mostly synthwave, lo-fi, chillwave, and barberbeats. Barberbeats is the best find I made this year to unlock my writing brain.

Sometimes I listen to the songs that inspire the titles; like for "open the door, don't let it sting" I listened to "Rule #1 - Magic" by Fish in a Birdcage and "Read My Mind" by The Killers on repeat for a few writing sessions.

#2022 wrap up

[shadows1nger]

OUR IMMORTAL SOULS

Chapter One

I sleep so we can meet

- Mr. Den

Song:

1837

London, England

I taught myself the ways of the world very young. There wasn't a place for a woman with dreams. Though I longed for one. As I did my work cleaning posh houses I would never live in, I dreamt wide awake. I dreamt of vast lands of vivid color. I dreamt of music that flowed through the souls of many. I dreamt of a place without hunger and pain. I simply lived in the world inside my head.

Content and alone.

Because my reality was too heartbreaking.

"Don't forget to dust before the days end, girl." Lady Maddox warned, keeping a meticulous eye on my work. I was scrubbing the floors with worn rag that hardly did anything. It would take hours for the floor to shine how she'd like, but I couldn't leave until it was finished. I nodded and got back to work.

I hoped at least I would have scraps from supper. Though, I knew better. My father would scarf it down along with ale. I'd starve again tonight it would seem.

The moon was high in the sky when I finished my duties. The cold air nipped at my nose, I took my time walking home. I was in no hurry for the questions my father would ask. If he did indeed notice I was gone. I wonder who he thinks pays for his ale. It definitely isn't him. He hasn't work since the war. My mother is too wrapped up in herself to work. I think she believes she is royalty in hiding waiting for her prince to sweep her off her feet and carry her to her palace.

She's just as delusional as I am.

My brother, Mikeal is too weak to work. He wasn't breathing when he was born. It impaired him mentally. He's twelve now. He doesn't speak but he finds different ways to let me know what he's thinking. In some ways, I'm grateful for him. But, sometimes dark thoughts creep in reminding me he's just another mouth to feed. I scare myself with my thoughts sometimes. I often think about running away and seeing the world rather than just my dreams. But, my family would starve if I did so and family is family no matter how burdensome. I'd simply have to live my life inside my head for the time being. Which I didn't mind.

My home was dark when I entered. Everyone was asleep. The fire embers burned low and I tossed a log so we can be warm come morning. My stomach growled and I dug throw the pantry to find old bread that would have to do. I pick off the molded pieces and sat by the fire. This was misery. I'd known nothing other in life. I wished I could live in my dreams and never wake up. I'd read, well I'd learn too. I'd read everything so I could a soak up all the knowledge that was out there. I seen Lady Maddox's son read. He was always engulfed in a book. I was curious to know how words affected him so deeply he kept his nose in them. I wish I could ask him, but it was forbidden to speak to anyone in the house besides Lady Maddox.

Maybe one day I won't have too. I'd know myself what it's like to be so captivating by the words of others. To feel their pain...their love. I smile at the thought. I'd live a thousand lives by simply reading. Reading the dreams of others and experiencing it through their words.

I drift off to sleep with a smile.

I woke to the sounds of rage. When I opened my eyes, I was met with the angry worn face of my father. Tears streamed down Mikeal's face, though he didn't make a sound. My mother sat cradled in a corner with her closed. "Where is it?!" He growled, grabbing my collar. I didn't react. This was typical thing. He was out of ale. He'd drown himself in the last of it.

"I. Don't. Know." I say, with hatred in my eyes. He raised his hand and hits me across the cheek. I squeezed my eyes shut as the burning sensation took its course. I would not cry. I would not cry. I repeated this in my head several times til the pain was gone. He released my collar and I fall to the ground. "To hell with all of you!" He yells and the door slams shut. He will be back. Drunk. But, back nonetheless.

I wait until I'm sure he's gone before going to soothe Mikeal. I hum a sweet melody to stop his tears. He rocks back and forth in my arms til he breathing calms. I smooth his soft brown curls he inherited from our father, "It will all be fine."

I can't promise him that, but it felt like the right thing to say. Even if it wasn't true. It won't be fine.

We will wake to the same thing come tomorrow. He knows, my mother knows, and I sure as hell know it.

We won't be free until we are six feet under.

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