#and im not mustering the will to make the post ive wanted to make for months in that I Think They'd Get Along | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

iichaeyj · 2 years

Note

Niki bf headcanons?

niki boyfriend headcanons . . . ♡

PAIRING: niki x gn!reader

GENRE: fluff

WARNINGS: none

WORD COUNT: 0.5k

A/N: i did not know if u were just asking in general or wanted a post, but i just made it a post cause i had sm to say,,, i also didn't know if you were curious about anything specific, so i just wrote the things that first came to my mind!!

i just think he'd be a lot of fun

like ive said it before but niki and the childhood friends/best friends to lovers trope >>>>

and i feel like just in general, he would probably have to get close to and become friends with you before he develops a crush

so even before you two start dating, he's already your best friend

and you two love joking around

and that probably wouldn't change after you two start dating

even though it's a bit awkward at first (transitioning from being best friends to lovers)

i think that niki wouldn't really change from how he normally is

he'd still love teasing you, coming over whenever he wants, stealing your food, and etc etc

so your relationship is still filled with lots of laughs and mischief

but i also think that he'd try his best to be sweet to you

(but also try and be lowkey about it)

like you don't know about this and he'd never tell you, but he'd get one of those apps that tracks your birthday, first date, first kiss, and everything tbh

just so he knows the anniversary for it

and i also think that he'd try and get you gifts

for example, he'd give you flowers

like he fully went out and bought the most beautiful flowers ever with his own money

and give it to you, acting like he just found it somewhere and "figured you might like it"

niki as a shy bf is everything to me tbh

him being too shy to admit he went out of his way to get you a gift, all because he wanted to see you smile <3

and i also think he'd be pretty shy about other things, too

like he wouldn't ever say it with his own words, but he loves when you're affectionate with him

he loves when you surprise him with a back hug or run into his arms after a long day

but when you're not affectionate, i feel like he'd try everything to get you to give him some

like he'd gently brush his hand against yours, wanting you to hold his hand

or he'd casually mention a show or smth and how two characters kiss

and if you're reallyyyy not budging

he'd probably have to muster his courage and give you a hug himself, hiding his face in your shoulder as he receives the affection he's been longing for :(

and he'd be brushing bright red, too

Lord,,,,

he's so cute im crying

another thing im thinking about is how niki's probably cautious about everything in your relationship

like, even though he still teases you a lot, he makes sure to never do anything that'll actually hurt you

and is also very protective of you in general

like he's the type to give you his jacket as soon as there's a small breeze

and just in general, he's probably not very experienced when it comes to love and relationships, so he's honestly just trying his best

overall, i think he'd be a very fun, shy boyfriend who just wants to make you happy <3

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#iichaeyj #iichaeyj writes #enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen reactions #enhypen scenarios #enhypen headcanons #enhypen fic #niki #nishimura riki #niki enhypen #niki x reader #niki imagines #niki reactions #niki scenarios #niki headcanons #niki fic

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youngpettyqueen · 1 month

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for prompts, might I suggest a number 14 with Julian takin care of Kira, and a ‘it feels worse than it looks—no wait-‘ with Julian being a bad patient?

oh my god I finally fucking finished it.

I am SO SORRY this took so long I got hit with. the most violent writer's block ive had in a HOT minute and this had me fighting for my life. I dont even know how many times I wrote and rewrote this. I went through so many different ideas it was actually ridiculous. at one point I had something finished but it Was Not Good and I dont believe in posting writing I dont like so I scrapped it and started again

I keep waffling on whether or not I like this, but thats entirely because ive spent way too long staring at it. im sure in a few days ill actually really like it, cause I really like the dialogue, which was what I wrote out first. pulling myself out of my perfectionism, I do think I like this, and at the very least im proud of getting it down when it gave me so much trouble

again, im so sorry it took so long, but writer's block is a bitch and ive had a lot going on lately, so I hope you understand <3

for the readers- 14 on the list is "Stop pretending that any of this is ok. It's not." I did adjust that one a bit cause I was having trouble making it flow. but, without further ado, here's what I've got!

Kira slides down with her back against the wall, grinding her teeth as she clutches at her wounded shoulder. The pain is still hot, the hole burned into her skin practically still smoking. She hisses as her palm makes contact with the sticky, raw flesh, but she still clamps down.

“Anytime you wanna get over here, Julian!” She calls, her voice strained.

“Doing my best, Major!” Julian calls from where he is, hunkered down behind some debris as a makeshift shield against the barrage of disruptor fire.

This is, in eloquent terms, a right fucking mess. Getting into a fight with a bunch of Jem’Hadar soldiers is never a good thing, even when they’re prepared. When they’re not prepared, it’s even worse. And this time, they weren’t prepared. Because there weren’t supposed to be any Jem’Hadar on this planet. This was supposed to be a quick pit stop for the Defiant, replacing some whatsit that O’Brien said was damaged in their last firefight, but then there were Jem’Hadar soldiers and they’ve managed to land themselves in a whole different firefight.

It really just hasn’t been a great week.

Kira inches closer to the wall’s edge. Her grip on her phaser isn’t stable, but it’ll have to do. She takes a deep, steadying breath, and then she twists over so that she’s peering out from behind the corner. She spots the Jem’Hadar pinning them down, quick count tells here there’s 3 of them, and she snaps her phaser up to hit them with some fire of her own. The motion pulls at her injured shoulder in a way that makes her want to scream, but she bites down on it.

Julian, bless him, takes the opportunity to lunge out from behind the debris. He scrambles across the gap, barely dodging the returning fire from the Jem’Hadar, and manages to throw himself down behind the security of the wall. He plasters himself up against the wall beside Kira, right as she ducks back behind cover as the Jem’Hadar’s fire intensifies.

Kira looks at him. He looks at her. He’s breathing hard and heavy, his hair a mess and dirt and blood staining his face. She musters up a grin to tell him, “You’re late.”

Julian gives her a flat look as he turns to her. “Forgive me, it’s a bit difficult to make house calls in the middle of a battlefield,” He replies, sounding very, very tired. But then his eyes flick to her bloody hand, still clamped over her wounded shoulder, and she watches his expression shift as he clicks back into what’s affectionately referred to as doctor mode, “Let’s see that shoulder, then.”

Kira moves her hand, letting Julian get a look at the wound. She winces as he pulls aside the burnt fabric, taking a deep breath in through her nose and resisting the reflex to jerk away. “How’s it look?” She asks, mostly just to distract herself.

“Like it needs more than what I’ve got,” Julian replies, frowning, “The dermal regenerator I have will do for now, but this is deep. I’ll need to immobilize your arm,” He tells her, giving her an apologetic look, “If you move it too much, you’ll risk tearing it open again.”

“Just do what you have to,” Kira tells him, “Won’t be the first time I’ve had to shoot myself out with only one arm.”

Julian nods, and returns his attention to her wound. “Right,” He pulls his kit up and rifles through it for a second. The first thing he pulls out is a hypospray, which he quickly sticks into her neck. Kira relaxes fractionally as the painkillers immediately start to work, dulling some of the burning in her shoulder. Then he’s pulling out the dermal regenerator, and bracing his hand against her shoulder again, “Try to hold still.” He advises.

Kira just gives a tight nod, already gritting her teeth and bracing herself. She feels the dermal regenerator start to work. The hypo helps, but it doesn’t take away that burning, itchy sort of feeling of muscle and nerves and skin stitching itself back together inch by inch. She clenches her fists tight, breathing hard through her nose as Julian works.

“Sorry, I know this stings,” Julian says, “I’m doing the best I can. This regenerator wasn’t meant for a wound like this.”

Kira grunts a wordless acknowledgement. If she says anything, it’s just going to be a string of curses. Instead, she focuses on keeping her ear on the sound of disruptor fire, making sure it isn’t getting closer. If the Jem’Hadar decide to come after them, she wants to be ready.

“Done,” Julian pipes up. She looks over as he puts the regenerator back in his kit, taking the worst of the pain with it and leaving her with a dull ache, “That’s the hard part done. I’m going to move your arm now,” His hands are gentle, taking her arm and carefully easing it away from her side, “There we go. Alright, hold it there, please.”

Kira does. Julian sits back, and unzips his jacket to get at his undershirt. “This will have to do,” He tells her, tearing a couple of strips from his undershirt, “These won’t be the most comfortable, but they’ll have to do. I’m out of bandages.” He leans back in, starting to bind her arm with the torn fabric.

“Sorry about your shirt.” She cracks weakly.

“I’ll get a new one.” He replies, without so much as a smile.

She hates how flat his voice is. Hates how… unlike him, it is. Quiet, with no bite. “C’mon, Julian, where’s that boyish optimism of yours?” She asks, “I could really use a hit of it right about now.”

Julian secures the bandage around her arm. “I must’ve dropped it when they started shooting at us,” He says, not meeting her eyes, “Do me a favour, Major. Don’t pretend any of this is ok,” He sits back again, still not meeting her eyes, all caught up in taking in his work, “Cause it’s really not.” He does look her in the eye, then. And he looks so… tired.

But then, he’s looked like that for a while, hasn’t he?

Kira gives him a smile. A sad, quiet little smile. “I never said any of this was ok,” She corrects, “I’m just… used to it, at this point.” Very, very used to it. Used to it in a way she hopes he never is.

Julian considers that for a moment. His expression is hard to read- sad, maybe. Sympathetic. Then he sighs, and breaks eye contact. “Well, I suppose I’m getting used to it, too,” He scrubs a bloody hand through his hair, “We should get going. Can you walk?” He asks.

No time for sentiment, then. Kira nods. “It’s just the arm,” She assures him, “I can do a hell of a lot more than walk.”

“Good,” Julian starts to push himself up to stand, “Let’s-“ He doesn’t get far. He wobbles suddenly, his eyes widening slightly as he nearly topples right over. He barely manages to catch himself, bracing a hand against the wall before he can fall against it.

Kira quickly reaches out to steady him. “Julian?” She sits up, frowning, “What’s wrong?”

Julian frowns, confused. “I… don’t know,” He says, looking down, “I can’t feel my-“ He cuts off, suddenly, his eyes fixing on something, “Ah.”

Kira’s brow furrows. “Ah? What’s-“ She follows his gaze, and comes to the same abrupt halt as she sees just what he’s found, “Ah.”

Julian has a substantial wound in his thigh. A chunk of his pant leg has been burned away, revealing a raw, painful-looking burn that’s steadily oozing blood down his leg. Kira’s eyes widen at the sight of it. That doesn’t look good. That really doesn’t look good.

“Well,” Julian says, “That’s not ideal.” And then he sways alarmingly, nearly crumpling right to the ground.

“Julian!” Kira lurches forward, manages to catch him by the arms. He grimaces as he eases himself down, taking his weight off his injured leg, “Damnit, Julian, what were you thinking ignoring this? Gimme that tricorder-“ She reaches for his medkit, not waiting for him as she rummages through it herself.

“I wasn’t ignoring it!” He exclaims, “I couldn’t feel it! Honest!”

Kira finds the tricorder and pulls it out. “Don’t tell me they augmented the ability to feel pain out of you,” He shifts again, adjusting his position to give her a better angle to scan him, and it draws a painful hiss out of him, “Guess not.” She hums.

Julian manages a weak chuckle, the first one she’s gotten out of him all day. “Not as such,” He confirms, “I’ve just been- gah!” He grinds his molars as she pulls the burnt fabric away from the wound, “Preoccupied.” He growls.

Kira huffs softly as she reads the results on the tricorder. It’s not a fun wound. “So busy trying not to get shot that you didn’t realize you got shot?” She asks, arching a brow at him, “I’m almost impressed.”

“Only almost?” Julian asks, all mock indignation, “I’d hate to see what I’d have to do to actually impress you,” He mutters. His eyes drift down, then back up at her. He looks worried, “How bad is it?”

Kira puts the tricorder down. “How bad does it feel?” She dodges.

“Pfft, this little thing?” He scoffs, gives a weak little wave that’s probably went to ‘wave off’ the pain, “It’s nothing. Just a scratch. It feels worse than it… no. No, wait, that’s not right,” He blinks, and she can almost see the gears in his head turning as he tries to figure out the order of the words, “I don’t mean to alarm you, Major, but I think the shock might be setting in.” He tells her.

Kira can’t help but roll her eyes. “No kidding,” She says, “This isn’t my first time, Julian. Hand me the regenerator, I’ll do what I can with it.” She holds her hand out expectantly.

Julian hands it over. “Now who’s being serious?” He asks.

Kira adjusts how she’s holding him, making sure she’s holding the burnt edges of his uniform away from his skin so that she doesn’t accidentally fuse any fabric to him. “Oh, so you can make jokes,” She takes the dermal regenerator and adjusts her hold on it, making sure it won’t slide out of her hand, which is slick with blood, “I thought you dropped that along with your optimism.” She gets the regenerator going, doing what she can with the wound.

Julian chuckles again, grins at her. “I told you, the shock’s setting in,” He replies, all charm, “I’ll say anything just to say anything. Apologies, but I’m going to be talking your ear off until we get out of here.” He warns.

Kira keeps her eyes on her work, keeps her hand braced on his thigh to hold him still. “As opposed to when you don’t talk my ear off.” She counters. After a few seconds, she can see that the burn’s healed as much as it’s going to. She switches the regenerator off and hands it back to him.

“Rude,” Julian huffs, taking the regenerator and putting it back in his medkit, “How’d the regenerator do? I don’t want to look.” He’s looking even as he says it, like he can’t help himself.

“It’ll hold,” She tells him, not seeing any point in sugar-coating it. He would see right through her in a second, “For now. I’m gonna bandage it, just in case,” She adds. Now it’s her turn to get at her undershirt, tear it up for strips of fabric, “I liked this shirt, you know.” She informs him as she does.

“I suppose we’re even, then,” Julian cracks weakly, “Have I ever told you you’d make a great medic?” He asks.

There’s the Julian she knows. “Flattery will get you nowhere,” She tells him. Satisfied with her bandages, she gets them ready, “I do have one question for you, Doctor.”

Julian frowns, confused. Yeah, the shock really has set in if he can’t see what she’s doing. “Go ahead.” He invites.

Kira starts wrapping his leg. “What are your plans for the rest of the day?” She asks.

He looks even more confused. “What are my-“ She yanks the bandages tight before he can finish, and he cuts off with a pitched yelp, “Fuck!”

Maybe it’s a bit mean to chuckle, but Kira can’t help it. She doesn’t often get to hear him curse. “Oh, language,” She tuts as she finishes tying the bandages off, “There. Nice and tight. That oughta hold you together till we get out of here.” She gives his knee a pat.

Julian pouts at her. “You enjoyed that.” He accuses.

“I did no such thing,” Kira replies smoothly as she pulls his medkit closer to her and starts rifling through it, not bothering to ask him, “Want a hypo?” She offers.

“No,” Julian shakes his head, making her stop short and give him an incredulous look, “I’ve only got the one left. Save it for someone who needs it.” He reasons.

Her look quickly flattens. “Don’t start with the heroics, Julian,” She advises, “You’re not gonna be treating any patients until after you’ve been treated. On the Defiant.” She doubts he can even stand on his own, let alone treat people.

“I can hold out till then,” He insists, “Someone else might-“

“Julian,” Kira cuts in, not giving him any room to argue, “Take the fucking hypo.”

Julian’s brows shoot up and he looks a little stunned. Just for a moment, though, before he huffs a bit of a laugh. “Now who needs to watch their language,” He says, his tone light and teasing, “Alright, go ahead.” He nods.

Kira takes the hypo out of his kit. “Oh, thank you,” She replies, making sure her own tone savours strongly of sarcasm, “You’re a terrible patient, you know that?”

There’s that grin again. All charm. “So Nurse Jabara keeps telling me.” He replies, like the pain in the ass he is.

“You should listen to her. She’s always right,” Kira sticks the hypo in his neck, and watches his shoulders instantly sink down a notch. She didn’t even realize how tense he was, “Better?” She asks.

Julian takes a deep breath. Probably the first one he’s taken all day. “…Much,” He admits, with the decency to look a little sheepish, “Thank you, Major.” His smile’s a bit less charm now, a bit more sincere.

Kira finds herself smiling back. “Anytime,” She says. She shoots a quick look around, regaining her bearings a bit now that they’re both taken care of. She can still hear blasters firing, but not as close. They might’ve moved off somewhere else. Or they could be waiting, “We should probably get moving.” She suggests.

“Probably,” Julian agrees, “Just one problem, though. I don’t think I can walk.” He tells her.

Kira figured. “Can you limp?” She asks, “I’ve still got two good shoulders, both perfectly good for leaning on.” She offers, patting her shoulder for emphasis.

There’s that glint in his eye. First time she’s seen it today- stubborn determination, or, in another word, cocky. “I think I can manage that.” He says.

Kira grins. “Great,” She ducks in and gets her arm around his waist, pulling him in snug against her as he wraps his arm around her shoulders, “Alright, lean on me. Steady. And…” She pushes herself up, and brings him with her. He leans heavy into her side, and she tightens her hold on him to keep him steady, “Up we go. Ready?” She asks.

Julian takes a moment to find his balance, shifting most of his weight off of his injured leg and compensating on Kira’s shoulder. “As I can be,” He tells her with a nod, “Let’s go.”

And they’re off. Making quite the sight as they hobble back into the action, pressed hip to hip and clinging tight to each other. But, hey, they’re still kicking, and they’ve still got their phasers, so they’ll make do. They always do.

#fic bitching #star trek: ds9 #kira nerys #julian bashir #like I said I really like the diaogue #I had fun writing the dialogue #and it came to me pretty easily once I settled on what I wanted with the scene #this was originally. a bunch of things #my first idea was two separate scenes #and I drafted several versions of those #but they just wouldnt flow #even the one I had literally finished just. I did not like it #it was not good #and I dont say that to be hard on myself I know im a good writer and what I wrote wasn't good and thats fine!#they cant all be bangers #but I wasn't gonna post something i knew wasn't good #hopefully the wait was worth it cause like I said while I keep scowling at this #I know its cause im grumpy it took so long #and its cause ive stared at it for way too long so it was never gonna look right #until I posted it #anyways! thats enough tag rambling #I hope you enjoy!#I love Julian and Kira theyre besties in my brain

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casnextdoor · 1 year

Text

A/N— soooo i know and they were roommates is unfinished but ive got crippling adhd so im gonna post one of my good ole nameless smutty oneshots. pls keep in my mind, the entire time i was righting this, i imagined cha eunwoo….

Warnings— Smut. like the most ive ever written for public consumption, jealousy, name calling, reader is sus asf, itty bit of angst, not beta-ed, this is a couple months old, minors DNI

Word Count— 2.5k

Song recommendation— OHMAMI by Chase Atlantic; Burn it by Agust D; Jealou$y by The Neighbourhood; Okay by Chase Atlantic;

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rain beat down on the hood and windshield of the bass-laden car. You could barely hear your thought over the revving of the — frankly annoying — sports car you’d angrily nestled yourself into five minutes prior.

His hand gripped the wheel like it was his lifeline and his jaw was clenched into a tight square. In a different situation, your hands would be roaming with how, for lack of better words, hot he looked. But tonight wouldn’t be one of those nights.

Not when he’d caused such a big scene at a party he’d dragged you to. You’d been perfectly content, wrapped in your Hogwarts fuzzy blanket on the couch, watching reruns of The Office.

It’d been him showing up to your house clad in cracked leather and tight fitting jeans that had you jumping into the first clubbing dress you could find in your mess of a closet and plopping happily into the passenger seat of his car.

Neither of you, however, foresaw the amount of alcohol you’d drink or the way you sought comfort from the first pair of arms that’d wrapped themselves around you. In hindsight, you really did fuck up, but his reaction wasn’t nearly as necessary as he thought it to be. He’d angrily bulldozed his way through the crowd to get to you, snatching your arm into an aggressive hold and seething equally as raged into your ear.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” It was harsh and bitter coming from a mouth that only ever whispers sweet nothings to you in such close proximity. Probably coaxing you off the edge while you were wrapped so delicately in his sheets.

“Having fun. Could you loosen your fucking grip, dude?” His eyes widened and rage was more present than ever.

“Fun? You call this… this slutty behavior, fun? Get a fucking grip. We’re leaving.” And then he was dragging you out of the superficially large home and gently shoving you in the direction of the car.

All of this, leading to the present moment, both of you silently heated on your respective ends of the car. The silence on his end was what was making you upset the most and it didn’t take long for you to make a passive aggressive statement as a silent ploy to get him to say something.

“What a fucking joke.” It was all you could muster when you could quite literally feel the heat emanating off of him. It was uniquely you, though. You’d credit that to the wits of your mother.

He intakes a sharp breath and tightens his hands even tighter around the wheel. With the open silence you’d figured he’d ignore the quip and had another half-assed quip on the tip of your tongue when the car suddenly swerved off the road to the right and jerked to a hard stop.

He turned to you and his anger was more visible now. His face was a dark shade of red and his lips were pulled up into a snarl over his straight, gleaming teeth. All of it brought to a sinister package tied off with a scary bow by his dark eyebrows, furrowed under the fringe of his hair that’d slowly started to grow in wavy strands and now covered the majority of his eyes— which were squinted mockingly.

“‘A fucking joke’? That's all you have to say about the shit you pulled tonight? You want a fucking reaction? You got one.” And in an instant, his long, slender fingers are wrapped around the base of your neck all the way around to the nape. He jerked you forward until you were nose to nose and you could feel the harsh breath blow against the top of your lip. He smelled of liquor and his normal warm, earthy, wood smell that’d you grown to love so much.

You weren’t the only one intune with your lover. He could feel the subtle hitch in your breath and the way your pulse thrummed aggressively under his fingers. He watches as your eyes flutter close before blinking open and meeting his gaze head on. Your eyes were soft and you slowly went slack in his hold. He’s gotten you right where he wants you and his lips curl up into a cheshire grin at the thought.

His lips skimmed over yours as he spoke his next words.

“You belong to me. You want to go flaunting what you have between your legs like some bitch in heat, but you’re mine,” He watched as your eyes closed again and you let out the softest whimper he’d ever heard from you.

“Do you understand me?” He squeezes again and watches the way your eyelids flutter when your eyes roll back. When he doesn’t receive a response, he playfully nips at your bottom lip, licking his tongue across the bite apologetically when you moan.

“I said, do you understand me?” You hum in agreement and jerk forward a bit in his grasp, chasing after his lips.

Unfortunately for you, that wasn’t the response he was looking for, and just when you were sinking into the feeling of completely drowning in him, he pulled away completely, and you feel the rumbling of the car purring to life, once again.

“I guess you forgot how to use your words.” His condescending draw sends shockwaves through your body, bringing you back to the present moment while simultaneously making you aware of the way you kept throwing yourself at him like you weren’t just purposefully trying to piss him off fifteen minutes prior. But the steady heartbeat between your legs and the aching need to hand yourself over to him and let him do as he pleases with you was too much for even someone as prideful as you to bare.

So before he shifts the gear stick, you grasp his wrist in a solid grip and you mumble exactly what he wanted to hear. “I understand…” He smirks, turns the key in the ignition before snatching it out and sending you a sideways glance.

He reached his hand on the side of his seat and watched as your face morphed from confusion to pure desire as he reclined his seat and lowered it.

“I didn’t hear you, pretty girl. Wanna repeat that for me?” He moved his hand from under yours and used the leverage of your lowered guard to manhandle you across the center console and into his lap.

You stable yourself with your hands on his chest, but your focus was completely on the way his mouth twisted and curved with every word he spoke.

“I understand.” He prides himself in the fucked out look on your face and he hadn’t so much as glanced at the pussy he’s so rightfully claimed as his.

“Good girl. Always so good for me, yeah? With the exception of tonight of course,” He laces his fingers in between yours and lands them gently in his lap as he regards you with a fake look of thoughtfulness. He pulls a faux look of sudden genius before he plasters on the fakest sweet smile he had in him. “I think you owe me an apology, beautiful.”

You nod dumbly at him, waiting for him to give his first command of the night. In the state you were in, you’d be willing to jump if he asked the only question you’d pose is ‘how high’.

“How about…” He dramatically taps his finger on his chin thoughtfully before pinning you with a dangerous look. “… you take those pretty little panties off and show me what’s mine?” You were quick to follow his command, reaching under your dress and fumble with your underwear until you awkwardly got them down your leg and threw them into the passenger seat, where you were sure you were going to lose them.

He hummed in approval before cooly delivering his next command. “Now lay back on my chest. I want you to watch while I show you why no other man could please you the way I do.” And it was like second nature the way you settled into his lap, back lying comfortably against his chest. You both watched with bated breaths as you spread your legs and he couldn’t help but groan at the sound of the strands of slick formed and snapped the wider your legs got.

“Now do me a favor, baby. Don’t take your eyes off my hands, okay? Can you do that for me?” You hum out an agreement and are quickly met with a sharp slap to your pussy. “Use your words, sweetheart.” He mutters, sinisterly, into your ear. His tongue peaked out and swiped over your earlobe before he continued to pepper kisses all over the back of your neck and the parts of your shoulder the dress exposed. One of his hands stroked the inside of your thigh, just out of reach from where you wanted him, while the other languidly rubbed circles into the skin of your stomach right under your hiked up dress.

You gasp at the sharp pain of the slap— it immediately turned into a moan as he rewarded you with an apologetic rub to your neglected clit.

“I can do it.” You mumble out, lips trembling a little. He was quick to catch that and the way your eyes watered as well.

“Look at you, baby. Already crying and I haven’t even touched you yet.” He chuckled darkly and you had half a mind to wonder if this was affecting him as much as it was you, if it were for the twitch of his cock and the jerking of his hips right under your ass.

He circled his thumb on your clit in slow circles, staring intently at your face. He cursed under his breath at the way your head dropped back on his shoulder and let out a moan he could feel resonating through his whole body.

“Look at that, baby. Look at the mess you're making.” You lift your head to see the mess you’d created on the crotch of his jeans and leather seat of the car. He hadn’t even breeched your weeping pussy but that didn’t stop you from dripping a puddle underneath you.

You groan and raise your hand over your eyes in embarrassment, much to his dismay and his quick to let you know.

“No, No, honey. Put your hands down. Let me see that pretty little face.” Any other time you’d probably aim to wipe the stupid — but handsome — grim off of his face, but the way his hands roamed and his deep chuckle resonated through your whole body like ground rumbling thunder had you burrowing yourself further into his embrace. You dropped your hands from your face and craned your neck to get a good look at his face.

The guy was handsome on a good day and absolutely, panty droppingly sexy on a bad one. You lucked out with this one. You were easily reminded when the hand that was on your stomach slid seductively up your chest, past your neck and gripped your chin.

He softly jerked your head in the direction of the steering wheel. He tsked at you teasingly and bestowed a strategically placed kiss on the back of your neck. “Pay attention, baby. Don’t disobey now.” You could hear the sheer glee in his voice.

His thumb continued its ministrations, only speeding up when you jerked your hips in search of more. He wasn’t going to give you much more of anything until you asked, but he couldn’t really torture you the way he should. Not when you moaned and mewled so prettily the way you were. And it was all just for him.

He watched as you squirmed and arched and he knew just what you needed. He watched your face screw up in utter euphoria as you gasped, begging for more. Your voice was pitched up and you were practically whining but it was music to his ears. The way he could break you down to nothing and build you back up again, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“What is it that you want, honey? Tell me. I can’t give it to you if you don’t tell me.” He slowed his thumb down and listened in utter amusement as you groaned in protest.

“Don’t… don’t stop. Keep going.” Your words were slurring together and your tongue was heavy in your mouth. Your chest was heaving and there wasn’t a single thought in your brain.

“Tell me what you need.” His words were clipped like he was angry but you could feel the weight of his fingers continuing to grip your chin and the grip grew tighter the longer the silence stretched.

You groaned in frustration as his thumb slowed completely to a stop. “I want you. Your fingers. Your cock I want it all. Please.” You begged and wiggled your ass over his dick as a last ditch attempt to convince him.

It didn’t do much but amuse him and harden his cock until it was straining against his jeans. He was composed otherwise and if it weren’t for your fucked out state, you’d be working harder to change that. But you were desperate. Sweat had started to accumulate on your forehead and your legs were beginning to cramp. It was insane the way he could turn you into a shell of yourself in mere minutes.

“Then be still, pretty.” And as if he controlled your every move, you stopped. And his grin was shit eating.

“Good girl.” And just like they’d never left, his fingers were exactly where you needed them. He circled your entrance teasingly before plunging knuckle deep.

His fingers were languid and lazy in their stroke and thumb brushed leisurely against your clit. You gasped for air and easily accommodated the intrusion.

He listened blissfully as you whimpered and groaned quietly. It would be too much like him to continue like this until you clumsily stumbled over the edge. Tonight, however, you would have to work for it.

You preened and arched your back when he quickened his pace. “Feel good, honey?” He muttered sardonically into your ear. But you answered anyway, moaning out a loud yes.

He kept his pace, allowing the palm of his hand to slam against your clit and it wasn’t long before the telltale signs of your approaching release became more and more apparent.

You gripped his wrist and whispered continuously for him to ‘Keep going’ and ‘Don’t stop’. You sounded so pretty and he felt a little bad when he did what he did next.

“You close, baby?” He asked, faux interest dripping from his words like venom. You hummed and responded, too lost in the feeling he induced.

Then, it was all gone. His hand, the feeling of his breath on the nape of your neck, the trance inducing words. All of it. He’d completely withdrawn from you all together.

“Guess you’ll have to wait.” He said, false concern lapping away at his words. “Don’t want to ruin your fun.” He deposited you gently back into your seat and ignored the tears welling up in your eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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autisticblueteam · 1 month

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Appears from the ether again, after months of only being present enough to fill my queue up, with some WIP snippets from the gen:LOCK re-write I mentioned before...

And also finally adressing these tags lmao, sorry @thesouppond I realise these are like 3 months old.

#FUCK IM JUST SEEING THIS NOW???#FUCK YEAH 2024 SEASON OF EVERYONE GETS TO REWRITE GENLOCK CAUSE FUCK S2#Ahem anyway hi genlock moot :)))#I love your writing btw! Ive read your existing GL fics theyre great!#at this point if someone can give me a GL fic i havent already met I will forever be indebted to you i am DYING for GL content

We're really out here trying our best to do better by GL than HBO did huh!! I've been loving Reloaded, it was so nice to see someone else pop up in the gL tag after it was comparatively dead for so long. I've been working on my re-write since just after s2 came out and it was lonely in there for a while there lmao.

So I'm glad you enjoyed the couple of fics I've already done! I'm re-using parts of one of them for the actual re-write since I'm going for the 'keep the basic bones of s2 but aim to fix the execution into something less shit/re-work the worst bits' and I didn't want to write that first nemesis fight over again from total scratch lmao...

I want to finish writing all of the re-write before I post it in full, but that does mean it's taking forever whoops.

I'm still not past the introduction of Sinclair as his portion is so involved and I keep getting distracted by other projects/hobbies, but I did finally get to a point where my take on Sinclair is actually fun to write! I'm keeping his boyfriend because I did at least like that Sinclair was made canonically queer and they're actually cute when I'm just doing my own thing.

So since I feel like posting some WIP bits, here's my favourite Chris/Sinclair stuff I've done so far.

“YEAH! Take that you fucked up tin can!” Sinclair winced. The shout was like an ice pick being driven into his skull, but it was also what finally drove him to lift his head. There ahead of him, wielding a large piece of debris in one hand, was a heavyset Asian man dressed in torn clothes and covered in grime. He reared back, and for a split second Sinclair thought that projectile was for him, until he heard an impact, and the last of the humming died. The man brushed off his hands, pride written on every feature, and in that moment he was the most beautiful thing Sinclair had ever seen. “Coast’s clear!” the stranger called behind him. There was movement, but Sinclair didn’t care to look, his attention caught by the man’s approach. “And we’ve got a live one.” Sinclair’s throat was so dry he broke down coughing twice, in the time it took the stranger to kneel in front of him. “I-I’m not Union. I-I know— with the uniform, and the—” Another violent burst of coughing cut him off. The stranger handed him a canteen and a crooked smile. “Yeah, no shit. You’ve got way too much emotion on your face to be even a defector,” he said, and if Sinclair wasn’t so busy chugging the offered water, he might have mustered a laugh. “That, plus, the lack of helmet, the collapsing, and the drone getting ready to turn you into a novelty cheese grater kinda gave it away.” “Christ, I could kiss you right now,” Sinclair blurted and then regretted in quick succession. Fuck. He’d been in near solitary too long, his filter had worn away to nothing and he was making a damn fool of himself in front of the first sane people he’d seen in weeks. Except the stranger just… laughed, good-naturedly. “Close, the name’s Chris, not Christ. And I’d say buy me dinner first, but it’s a bit hard out here.”

AND then a little later...

“What about the refugee railroads?” Chris lowered his beer bottle and wiped his mouth. “Too far.” “Vanguard safe crossings?” “Too far.” “The— fucking Canadian border?” Chris laughed, “Too far. Further than either of the other things. Jesus, dude. You sure you haven’t got a concussion?” “Mostly,” Sinclair said, rubbing his face with his intact hand. “I just— you’re going to die if you stay here. A drone only has to get lucky once.” “And if we go deeper in, we’ll only die faster,” Chris said with a simple shrug. “We already have to pack up and move every few weeks when the line moves. And every time, the Polity border gets a little bit further away. Believe me, man, I want nothing more than to get outta here, but it’s just not happening.” “What if I helped?” The offer fell out before he’d consciously decided to make it, but Sinclair stood by it. Even when Chris looked at him dubiously. “No offence, dude, but you’re just one guy. And two days ago you could barely stand.” “And now I’m fine,” Sinclair insisted. “I’m a soldier. I was decorated for valour after I got my squad out of a run-in with the Union that should’ve killed us all. I was the only one who could even still hold a gun. I swear, I could get you somewhere safe. Are you really telling me you’d rather keep sitting around waiting to die than take a risk?” Chris’s brow furrowed, and he didn’t answer immediately, taking another swig from his scratched up bottle of beer. Sinclair sighed. “Look. I need to get to a Vanguard base one way or another. I don’t want to leave you guys behind if I don’t have to. I owe you my life. And maybe dinner.” Chris almost choked on his drink. “Wow,” he laughed, clearing his throat, “you sure pick your moments, huh?” Sinclair shrugged. “Figure if you’re not actually into it I’ll just blame the concussion.” “That you don’t have.” “Exactly.” Chris rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Smooth. Smooth operator. Alright, alright, fine, we’ll talk to the others in the morning. It might be a tougher sell when they’re not the ones getting dinner with a hot soldier out of it, but hey, guess we’ll see.” “Are you looking past the just-got-done-being-tortured chic, here, or is that part of the charm?” “Are you kidding? There’s a whole genre focused on how hot soldier guys look after they’ve been through hell.” “Not sure that’s the intended takeaway of action movies.” “Well,” Chris shrugged, starting to pick at a can of food, “it was definitely my takeaway.” Sinclair laughed. Honest-to-god laughed, in a way he was surprised he was even capable of after the last few weeks. The normality of the moment was like a balm on all the aching parts of him, mental and physical alike. For a moment he could almost forget that the reason he looked like shit was because he’d just escaped the worst experience of his life. For a moment it felt like the fight was over.

Now I just have to actually get through the remainder of my Sinclair set-up and then I'll be only one chapter away from finishing the first half of the fic... so close and yet so far lmao.

#blue is a writer #fic: the only me is me #gen:lock #each part is meant to be like a single season. so part 1 is like a new season 2 and part 2 is like a season 3 #and if i ever actually finish this. i might plan out a 'season 4'#the ending i have planned sets me up for it #i have grand ambitions and so little ability to sit down and just get it done LMAO

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jennilah · 2 months

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jenna gone got high and started rambling about nothing again

the amount of times ive drawn something that i thought i would be appealing or even only make sense to an audience of me and maybe 2 other people, only for it to get blown out of the water with response is shockingly often

like hoffman and strahm from the Saw franchise getting high together, yeah

but also my nonsense comics about Michael Myers from specifically the Thorn trilogy, the RZ remake, and the Green sequel hanging out like weird brothers

or every time I draw a weird AU like slashers as fish. or mini characters that live in the pockets of either someone else or the normal versions of themselves

any self indulgent crossover ive ever made like Jason hanging out with Godzilla and Mothra

and i do it for every fandom. if anyone remembers my old spn comics and AUs, some of those were off the wall cryptic and nonsensical. to the likes of which i havent come close to recreating

many of these get hundreds to thousands of notes/likes/whatever on various websites. so many people just see my nonsense and let me take their hand, no questions asked

thats it i just think its funny

jk im not done that reminds me,. the results of my dumb little poll came in where i asked what people sort of ideally want from me and im kind of surprised

i think i rambled this already but deleted it bc it felt too dumb but actually i dont think its dumb. i think its really interesting and relieving that people actually want my sketches and doodles and dumb things.

& yea i enjoy occasionally making a fully rendered piece but i mean. its not easy, and im never totally happy with the end result most of the time. but if im only posting sketches and doodles and sketchy doodly comics i feel bad like i feel like im just holding people over until the next piece where i actually put in effort.

but it turns out people are totally ok with stuff that i dont kick my own ass trying to polish. people arent settling for it, people voted- they want it.

and i dont know where this attitude against myself came from because i was never unhappy seeing sketches from artists i like

maybe its the part inside of me, which im pretty sure is inside every artist who has ever experienced self doubt, which makes me feel like i should be putting my best effort into everything. like, if i could only just muster up the courage to fully render some of these comics I do, then they would be even better...

but i wouldnt have as much fun. thats too much work, i get overwhelmed

so, they stay sketches. with varying degrees of refinement and shading.

so idk im glad ppl like them

anyway rambling done i think ive made my non-points

#jennilargh

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wildcherrylime · 5 months

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i know i dont make many personal posts on here but i just wanted to take a minute and reflect on the past year. its not over yet but im going into the last month of 2023 so totally at peace with the last 11 months of my life !

i had 3 goals going into this year: 1. adopt pet rats 2. find a new job 3. get into long-term therapy

and i've managed to achieve all those things!!

first i brought these three lovely boys into my life (dark grey is quincy, light grey is findus, and light grey hoodie is monty). they'll be 10 months old in december :) they are such an absolute delight - smart, sweet little guys that just love life so much. its been so fulfilling to have them with me this year, and watching them grow into the little guys they are today has been so rewarding.

and after adopting them i finally got myself a new job ! its been a really wonderful few months, and it feels so good to be in a position where people actually value what i bring to the table. i wont go into this too much for privacy reasons, but i feel really hopeful for the future and what this position is going to lead me to in the next few years

and the final thing i managed to do was get a long term therapy spot. its been pretty difficult at times to dredge up all the old pain and sorrow thats haunted me for so much of my life, but its ultimately all for a good reason, so ive been going at it with my heart as open as i can muster

im so grateful to all my friends, everyone around me right now that has made all of this possible, opened my soul to new possibilities and a flood of love and tranquility that i have never thought would be available to me. and we cant forget the antidepressants, of course ! i can honestly say none of this would have been possible without being medicated. not being fraught with negative self talk and anxiety and guilt and shame every step of the way has afforded me a previously unimaginable kind of peace of mind. things really are okay, im worthy, im good enough, and ive worked so so so hard to get here and im finally ready to do some well-deserved reaping of everything i sowed

and im grateful to my past self. i never gave up, even when it felt like i was crawling on my hands and knees a thousand miles through the desert. everything was so hard, everything hurt so much for so long. i can finally put it all down. i did it

#text post #charlie chats #charlie things #fancy rats

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lilredghost · 9 months

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babyyyy!!! im so sorry i am late, college started so i had to shift to the hostels and its so hectic but also so fun here(its so much like the colleges u see in movies like soty i didnt expect this college to be like that im so glad im here) and there was some issue with the wifi in my room so no ao3 for 3 weeks </3

i am in in LOVE with all the times obikin kiss, its so so soft and sweet, obi's trusting anakin with himself its so cute!!!!!!!

also CINNAMON OH MY GOD IT TASTES SO GOOD I CANT BELIEVE U MADE ANAKIN TASTE LIKE IT I LOVE U

(As much as he loves the scruffing, it’s not exactly conducive to Obi-Wan having a discussion.)

(Or thinking at all, really.)

oh my god me too pls i cant think after reading this u will be the sole reason im not studying before my math quiz

His hope is to extend that feeling to other parts of his life, someday, but for now Obi-Wan will stick to brushing and braiding his husband’s hair with all the care he can muster.

oh he is so oblivious oh god oh please tell me they both know the other person loves them before they separate pls

(And this, Obi-Wan has done before.)

(He is, perhaps, an expert in doing things quietly.)

sjdvhvjkdv pls pls red stop killing me im dying over here

(Anakin would deserve it too, is the thing. He'd deserve whatever he asked for.)

baby pls send him to therapy pls i love him but he is unwell™

But the day has been long and fraught, and he would like to believe that he can be happy too.

maybe anakin is the therapy, mandatory sessions for the both of them??? i'll tie them up back to back in a room until they talk

in public interest i would like you to know that u have officially ruined my plans for studying today as this fic will be bouncing around in my head on a pogo stick. i want to distill this fic and use it as an iv

Baby!! I'm glad you're having fun at college and not, like, a giant crisis 🙌 but no ao3 for 3 weeks sounds like hell 😭😭 My sister's wedding was just this last week (and you know big Indian weddings-- I'm exhausted) AND I resume college next week so it's pretty chaotic over here too.

So happy you liked this chapter 🥰🥰 I wanted to get through my whole outline of events instead of cutting the chapter in half (but also it took so long that maybe I should have cut it, lol). Obikin kissed so much that I'm amazed they got anything else done honestly!!

Obi-Wan is sooo brave for taking these leaps of faith, I love him so much. He makes a resolution in the next chapter (though it will be a bit hard for him to act on):

The most important thing is this: Anakin still doesn’t know what he is. The second is this: He cannot be allowed to find out, or Obi-Wan will lose him. Anakin may have married him for reasons Obi-Wan will never know, but being an alpha is surely a nonnegotiable part of that. Unless… Unless Anakin loved him. If Anakin, perhaps, were in love with him, the way Obi-Wan is in love with Anakin, then perhaps he could tell the truth. Perhaps he could be held and kissed and accepted in his entirety, as though he weren’t a failure of an alpha, a failure of an omega—

Baby hasn't even figured out that Anakin is already in love with him, or that Anakin doesn't give a shit that he's not an alpha. It's just so hard for him to detach his designation from his sense of self worth 🥺😔

And yes I made Anakin taste like cinnamon!! I only decided that an omega's slick tastes (mostly) the way their arousal smells like halfway through, so I'm SO GLAD that I gave him a good scent and not like. Something weird, idk. Some things smell good but I do not want them in my mouth. Also I'm not sure if you remember this post but it sure does lend a whole extra layer of meaning to it 😂

The scruffing I'm so absolutely obsessed with and idk why! Obi-Wan's emotions have been so out of control in these last few chapters, and it's such a sweet way for Anakin to lend him comfort, while also being hot as fuck in the right circumstances. I need him to pavlov Obi-Wan into getting horny when he scruffs him.

(Also please study for your math quiz baby, the sex will be there to reread when you finish 🙌)

Isn't he so fucking stupid?!! Anakin will tell him he loves him but I'm not sure yet how much he'll believe it (the outline gets pretty loose post-Tatooine rn).

(And this, Obi-Wan has done before.) (He is, perhaps, an expert in doing things quietly.)

OK this was literally like one of my favourite lines in this whole chapter ❤️❤️ It's so indicative of Obi-Wan's character and also the absolute root of their relationship problems. Obi-Wan is holding himself back from telling the truth, from telling Anakin he loves him, from biting him, all while Anakin is doing the same, because neither of them wants to scare the other away. (It also just hasn't occurred to Anakin that he hasn't said he loves Obi-Wan yet. He's so focused on holding himself back physically that he forgets about the words.)

Obi-Wan needs therapy soooo badly, poor thing. I love him but he is definitely unwell™. I don't want to say he's blowing things out of proportion (these feelings are obviously real and he's struggling with them a lot), but they are absolutely a byproduct of the way he keeps spiralling. He'll be feeling sky high one minute and then he'll crash to the ground again in the next. Some of this is his depression but also his hormones are out of wack because his supressants are failing!! 😬

I've been trying not to fall into that rut of "romantic partner cures depression magically" by having Obi-Wan slowly, like, rebuild his support system (Feemor and his friends), find an identity outside of being an alpha and being emperor (like that same thing from earlier about detaching his sense of self-worth from his designation and his job), indulging/discovering hobbies and interests (anthropology, embroidery, time with his friends), and showing vulnerability to others (Anakin is a big one here, but Karishma was an important milestone too).

On one hand I understand it's imporant to study but on the other hand !!! This fic also bounces around my head on a pogo stick 🤭🤭 I always love to see which things you noticed and which things you liked because it gives me so much motivation to keep writing, thank you!!! 🤗💕💕

#I think it took lots of people time to get around to reading this chapter because of all the fics from the subanakin fest tbh #it's left me sooo behind on reading fics lol #obikin #emperor obi-wan au #squick: a/b/o #also I tried breaking up the reply with dashes but I'm not sure how well it worked. it kind of feels more chaotic to me now #imjusttoofunky #asks #also did you just start your first year of college or did you like move or something?? 👀 sounds like a really cool place to be!

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lokisprettygirl · 2 years

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thoughts about TNSATSI

very ominous, especially the last part.

i love how he just does everything to at least try to make her feel comfortable. i have a feeling that behavior has a story behind i. it just cant all be chivalry cant it.

how shes very guarded is interesting. the constant mentions of he or them is just the tip of the iceberg innit. she's really traumatized by whats happened that her walls are so high up she could barely trust anyone.

this island is also proving to be very very mysterious. how come of the two other teachers in said island, the both just decided on taking a vacation just as she start working. i mean its understandable through further thought but i just think its questionable. and the towns people, what the bloody hell is wrong with them that they look at her as if she brought the plague. did they have a bad experience with a previous new comer? does she look an awful lot like minola or does she remind the of her? i have a feeling minola isnt/wasnt very kind to the town, either that or shes a tortured soul.

i absolutely adore how this is ramping up to be.

i still cant help but think back to lokis concern for her and the last bit. that'll be nagging for a while now wont it. what does he mean she wont survive the next week i believe? and the sort of protectiveness he has on her is really intriguing to me, (though that might be for personal reasons).

i just cant get over how guarded she is. what happened to her and therapy is a common thing but so far why does every hint given so far make it sound so severe. it quite possibly is but... ill have to wait to know wont i?

i saw your earlier post about not receiving much interaction or feedback and about others having to just want to go straight to the height of action on interest, i mean i know what they mean but the slow starts are as important as that. the structuring of the characters and the steady build up of mystery is what makes a good story. sure jumping straight to the middle, in where the most action is drawn in is cool but others miss the meaning in that. the meaning that could only be realized if you read the start. structuring makes a good story people. personally i think its what made your other stories so brilliantly wonderful. the questions left after every chapter pile up until answered in later pages. the intrigue is palpable if you begin at the very start.

i apologize for ranting but in short of what i meant to say, im sorry that you dont get the proper response or enough of it. your work is absolutely marvelous and other may just be shy but they love it just as much a person who sends feedback. im sorry that you feel down love but if it ever raises your spirits, know that i eagerly wait for your posts as much as a child waits for Christmas. that doesnt mean to pressure you into posting, i am completely satiated in reading your older works as well.

i really just want you to know that your work is deeply appreciated. others may not show it or express it but your writing is loved. it really really is. the amount of times ive talked to myself (i really dont have friends) about your work, the reactions ive expressed are absolutely ridiculous but all of it was caused by your brilliant work and the other talented writers in this app. mere typed words or words alone cant do justice to the praise held up for your work. its just beautiful, from the heartbreaking angst to the steamy smut, all are just a work of art.

damn this got lengthy, i apologize for length of this rant and just hope you have a good one. sending you all the hugs and love i can muster

from your lovely😊❤️💜💙💛💚😊

Yess there are many hidden details, or I should say it's not really hidden though, just a matter of perspective I guess. She feels a sense of safety around him which is surprising even for her.

Also the he person and them she thinks about are the people from her past. Whatever happened to her had destroyed her will to live normally, that's why she thought living at a place where she wouldn't have to interact much, especially with men would be good for her. Epic fail because now she's desperate to seek connections because the house is either haunted or she's losing her mind.

Something is not right at The Slumber Island

Thank you for everything else you said about me and you have a virtual friend here, you can talk to me anytime you feel like. 🤗

Now I personally believe that people can write bad stories even after writing good ones, so sometimes the story just doesn't connect with people. Sometimes the story is just bad, but I KNOW that there are some people who are reading every chapter but they just don't want to respond or give a feedback because ofcourse it takes time and effort, people are busy, have lives, not well etc and I understand that very well but that doesn't mean it's not disheartening for me to be disappointed by the fact that people don't want to engage with me directly.

I think reading a series is not everyone's cup of tea, people just want to read quick smut fics or a oneshot, that's not the issue, issue is that I know they are reading but not wanting to respond. It might seem boring or dragged but pacing is very important for me, even when I'm reading x reader stories if I read a full fledged series where the characters just fall in love with each other even though there were no emotions described, no inner thoughts were shared, it immediately takes me out of the story because I can't relate with these people..I don't know what gives them a substance, a motive. So I try to build my characters, ofcourse it also depends on the plot, hmbomt had characters engaging with each other quickly but there were conflicts and issues that kept coming because that's how it is, people don't just magically start loving the other person madly for no absolute reason.

You never have to apologise to me for literally drowning me in the praises I don't feel worthy of, thank you for taking the time to send me this. Usually after I'm done venting I feel better and I was afraid of complaining again but then it's my blog and people are free to unfollow if it bothers anyone.

Love you 💚❤️

#asks #stupidthoughtsinwrting #the night screams at the slumber island #chapter 4

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the1975attheirverybest · 6 months

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ignore this if you want to but basically last thursday was a bit of an awful morning that ended up with me missing my first lecture of the day, sat in bed crying and then bailing on going out to the pub and ignoring everyone which ended up being quite nice. i cant actually remember what i did over the weekend other than not work and then monday was okay like i went to the library and somewhat organised myself but got distracted as i ended up meeting up with friends and then buying wine from tescos do do a greek lit reading night which was fun but really overwhelming (i also dont actually like wine that much) but then tuesday as much as i got out of my flat i then did actually nothing all day and it made me feel awful and then yesterday i dont think i properly got out of bed until 5pm and ive just felt a bit horrific because i feel like im failing academically, ive not been eating properly at all and i kinda just hate myself and i kinda just want to go home but i dont really have the time and i feel like it would just make everything worse when i come back. i also git into a slight argument with a couple of home friends because i sent some a selfie of me as a reaction to something that was said and got a how are you still in bed (i think it was gone midday at that point) and i said ive been trying to will myself out of existence (which in retrospect does sound fucking stupid but i was being sincere) and got basically omg same in response which pissed me off. i then later send some matty related meme which got some form of light-hearted response along the lines of being insane and i then went on a bit of a tirade about how you dont know how mentally ill i actually am and the response kinda was yeah were worried but dont know how to show it lol which again kinda annoyed be given that i have been a mediator to a lot of their quite serious relationship issues but then got a bit of a more sincere response after but i didnt read it properly and havent really said anything bar sending a tiktok because i dont want to have to address me being a bit of an immature dick so now i feel kinda isolated because im not close enough to any of my uni friends to be like hey im having a bit of a crisis can you make sure i actually eat real meals and maybe even force me to the shops to buy food - 🐸

Hey,

I need you to listen to me and know that I am being 100% serious. I don’t think any of this was immature or dickish. Cuz, like, I don’t know. I’ve been in situations where I’m having a bad depressive episodes and when I can finally muster the courage or energy to tell someone about it, I’ve gotten “mood” or “same” in response. And it’s kind of hard because no not “same” you’re not just having a bad day or feeling sad about something like a bad grade on a test or something. You’re literally struggling with an illness. That, on top of getting a comment about not getting out of bed on time when you’ve already been beating yourself up about it is hurtful. Your feelings are totally valid.

Of course, they don’t know that / didn’t mean to hurt you. They thought they were just making a simple comment. But that doesn’t mean you should trivialize how you feel about it.

Maybe once you’re feeling a bit better and more clear headed you can talk to them about how best to support you in moments like this?

In the meantime, I’m happy to force you to go to the shops. What, is it like….1 pm UK time right now? You have until I’m done teaching for the day. Like, 4 hours from now. I better come back on here and see that you’ve gone to get something for a home cooked meal. Otherwise I won’t post what I wanted to post tonight hahaha. No but for real. Do check in and tell me that you went. Mental illness is gross. You’re doing the best you can. He gentler with your brain.

#🐸anon

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marahuyos · 1 year

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helloooo how are u?? i hope youve been doing well :]]]

Hoooo its been a super long while so if u guys wanna know what ive been up to, its utc

So yea, hi im still alive, and i prolly shouldve updated a whole lot sooner but ive done a lot of thinking alongside my last few terms of college

Im nearing the end of my graduation and ive come to a realization that i cant keep doing what i do in this blog forever. It started out as me posting to fandoms since i was still in that creative high, but now ive mellowed out to where i cant even muster to type something i want and not a thesis paper lol.

Writing just isnt what it is for me anymore. I used to love doing it but with irl happenings, i have to make priorities.

Not only that, ive also started streaming on twitch! I started out back in january and now im affiliate! Me streaming is something ive always wanted to do but never had the drive or confidence to do so now i get to enjoy it!

Anyway, now that ive mostly given out what happened to me, i'll still keep this blog open and occasionally write something but definitely not permanent. I'll still use this blog from time to time but me writing isnt gonna be a mainstay. Unless theres a new thing that im hyperfixating about, i wont come back to writing lol (its hi-fi rush)

#mara.mail #i wont purge my inbox but uhhhh sorry to the folks thats been waiting #or forgotten all about them LMAO

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anandasamsara · 1 year

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ok, gotta take things off my head

as some of you know, i’ve been having japanese classes. the thing is, im pretty sure i wont be able to continue taking the class next semester.

when i paid fot this semester, i still had a job. but before the class even started, i was already jobless and thinking on how would i be able to pay the next semester. things started to look nicer, but then they look bad now. i cant bring myself to get up so early, even once a week, and its tiring me a lot. all the jobs ive been doing are on weekends, which makes my class attendance pretty shit. plus, this thinking here: if everything goes nicely and works out, i can transfer next semester for week day classes, but if everything keeps going to shit, i wont be able to keep going anyway, and if things go not well enough and i get a job, i’ll have to choose between the japanese class and my post grad program, which is an easy choice but yeah.

i tried to go on with the positive thinking of enjoying what i can, but thats tiring when life piles up on you. my grades are apparently fine, even with my skipping class so much, but i feel bad for myself and the teacher, bc i cant muster any more energy to even look interested in something i will be probably leaving behind pretty soon.

thats all to say that i have class in about 6 hours and i cant bring myself to go to sleep or be at the very least a bit rested to go there in the morning. i also dont want to spend money bc i may need an uber to somewhere else, or my parents may need it to go to the hospital (dad’s getting his treatment) and... bc its the weekend, theres no buses to or from the federal unversity where the classes are conducted, and where people actually live in. like.

im very tired and i have... not better, but more fulfilling things to spend money on right now. like getting more materials and a new machine for the print shop my bedroom has become. which will give me some monetary return in a few weeks maybe.

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cubedmango · 2 years

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i have not had time yet to sit down and rewatch the final episode to write comprehensive thoughts but i did absolutely need to tell u i looked at the endings songs lyrics like right before work and i was just like. on the floor. in so much pain. I CAN SEE WHY U LEFT IT TO THE END BC IT HITS SO HARD.... LIKE WHAT ARE THE LYRICS SO SWEET FOR??? my god like first we have "like, say, its cold out but your smile is all warm" IM SICK!!! MY HEARTS SO WARM HEARING THAT... ADACHIS SMILE IS HIS WARMTH...

AUGH YEAH literally at first i wasnt gonna translate the song bc i wasnt sure if i could do it well but i had to do it anyway for ep4 so i did the whole song and let me tell u . the experience of reading those original lyrics and Finally Getting What They Really Mean Was . Something Else I Swear ..... then i jst knew i had to post it after ep13 so it would Hit Hard for everyone else too 😔 (putting the rest of ur asks under the cut for length akfjkdsf)

2/ "every chance comes after endless waiting" im just remembering how live action drama kurosawa was in love with adachi for like 7 years or some crap and like ok im normal totally ... "want to muster courage, hold your hand just once" IM SO. IM SOOO NORMAL ABOUT THESE LINES... its such a simple request and yet it means the absolute world... and the way both of them sang the line... and im just. i remembering ur headcanon how adachi thought he may had only one last time to hold kurosawas hand

THE SEVEN YEARS DONT REMIND ME GOD !!!!!!!!! now ur making me think of the song in la drama kurodachi context w kurosawas Extended yearning and domestic dreams and .hhrhf . .jj jhwhejhjj !! kdjdhvk, jfh (<- having a very normal one)

why would u hurt me w my own hc Hey Hello . Ouch????? when they just wanna hold hands? ???? ???? (curls up and cries)

3/ "let the world lend me to you and bare its heart" ITS SO PRETTY?? IDK SOMETHING ABOUT HOW THEY LIKE PERSONIFY THE WORLD IS JUST VERY GORGEOUS TO ME.... "your throne's made of plenty love and praises / riches in form of many's first love / yet how's it that you hoard all that love just for me" how. how did you survive this. im on the floor. was thinking abt this all day. I GET IT U GUYS ARE IN LOVE KUROSAWAS ABSOLUTE DEVOTION TO ADACHI. just how his whole heart his everything goes to his love

YEAAHH the world as a metaphor for love and acceptance is [chefs kiss] So Good

i did not survive it i think abt those lines All the time ....... i did tweak them a liiitle bit in favor of matching the og syllable count (and creative liberty) but i hope i got the same idea across????? anyways kurosawa having so many ppls (superficial) love yet he keeps all of his love for adachi only no matter if it got reciprocated or not bc adachi saw past his perfection and Saw Him As A Goddam Person . they make me so sick in the head help

4/ "wait to meet me at the crossroads of life" i rlly like how kurosawas the one singing this line?? bc usually it's kurosawa doing the "waiting" until adachis is ready but this time hes calling out to him to wait for him? and im just? i have to lie down?? like this is not ok??? "though the world never once kissed my forehead" makes my heart hurt and "you still have me going on my tiptoes" i think of the cover art where he is on his tiptoes to kiss kurosawa i think and im just :>

SO TRUEEE when both of them wait for each other and they walk forward together ....... i cant express emotions in words anymore i need crycat pics

oh god speaking of the cover art kiss ive been meaning to draw that ep13 scene w adachi on his tippy toes for the longest fucking time i just. my face gets so red when i make any ship content beyond like holding hands so u can imagine the kind of stress im under . also kisses are inherently a bitch to draw i hate them !!!!! still gonna keep trying tho

5/ "if the world doesn't bare its heart to your eyes / then please let me hold your hand for it instead" IM JUST. THE HAND HOLDING. THEY JUST WANT TO HOLD HANDS.... and again i still think the whole thing abt the world is so pretty you know? ok ok and now where im tooootally ok and fine but "i long to sleep with you on one pillow / fall into shared dreams as i turn around / at the time please dont break them at bedside" THE DOMESTIC IMAGE? JUST WANTING TO BE TOGETHER IN SUCH A WAY? LIKE HEY????

thinks abt kurodachi having each other no matter what happens in their lives. holding hands despite it all. explodes

THE DOMESTICITY OF IT ALL !!!!!!! ITS SO SIMPLE YET IT HITS SO MUCH ...........

i dont remember what number i was on bc reacting to that last line just made me go through all the emotions again IM JUST. SOOOOO. how can such a small and simple request mean the world... mean the future... mean so much... i want them to enjoy such peaceful days forever and always and be in love till the end of time!!!! ok finally "a dream most sweet is that your smile is all warm" im on the floor. destroyed. thank you so much for these translations!!! I TRULY APPRECIATE IT I HAVE TO LAY DOWN

i am wishing rd kurodachi a very I Hope They Are Living Their Best And Happiest Lives Together And Forever (remembers manga vol 6-9 plots theyd hypothetically also go through) oh god oh fuck- (remembers vol 10 plot theyd hypothetically go through) OH WAIT-

LIES DOWN ALSO sorry abt the destroying i had no choice i was compelled by a dark force into writing that line . and again ty for yelling abt the sons w me im excited for ur ep13 rewatch asks kdjsfkjs

#my answer #making a kurodachi cover was so evil of the rd team i swear to god #like was the original song not painful enough? did they have to hurt us more???#they saw the la drama changing the op and ed slightly for their last ep and said ''ok that but 10 times more heart wrenching''#incredible decision tho i think more shows should do this

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chachued · 2 years

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URGENT [ P.P ]

It was almost Valentine’s day and Peter still couldn’t open up about his feelings towards you. One day, a text popped up from Peter about an urgent say.

PAIRINGS: tasm!peter parker x fem!reader

W/C: 0.4k

CONTENTS: just loads of fluff, nervous peter, short

A/N: this is my first post and im not very sure how to use tumblr or how to aesthetically and efficiently make a fic, so im rlly sorry if it's not up to expectations! im currently writing this at 3am, pls bare with my grammar and spelling :"> (im open to concrit btw!)

Scared. It’s one of the words that describe Peter in this situation. He wanted to tell you today, but he couldn’t even muster up the courage to open your contact.

Meanwhile, you were walking back home from school when your phone buzzed inside your pocket.

PETER PARKER

where are u???? i need to tell u something

You

why? wassup??

You

did u finally kill someone, parker??? IS THIS A BURY A BODY MOMENT?? OHHH IVE BEEN LONGING FOR THIS MOMENT

PETER PARKER

what! no!! that's worrying!

You

aw okay, but what is it then????

PETER PARKER

i want to tell u something, so go to my place, yeah?

You

why not over text?

PETER PARKER

it's urgent!! come quick!

You

fine fine! ill be there in a few!

PETER PARKER

thank u :D

You arrived at his house. When you knocked on his door, you could hear shuffling inside, trying to hurry to the entrance. After some time, he let you inside with an awkward smile and a hand behind his neck.

"Why are you acting so weird?"

"What? Weird? No, I wouldn't. Why would I? I mean, wait, am I acting weird? If I am, I truly apologise — Truly!"

"Peter," You cut him off, desperate to know why he called you over and why he's so nervous. So nervous to the point his palms were clammy and beads of sweat formed on his forehead, but you didn't know that. At this point, you thought he did kill someone.

"Sorry! Sorry... I just– Actually, forget it, here." he said as he handed you a poorly wrapped gift.

You eyed the gift carefully, slightly shaking it to see what he gave you. "Aunt May wasn't home and I don't really know how to use wrapping paper."

"Yeah, no, I appreciate it!" you said, subtly reassuring him that you're not judging his poor skill.

"You do–? Yes, of course, no problem."

"So, why did you invite me here?"

"I just wanted to ask if you'd go out?" he asked you, but his sentence didn't make much sense causing you to furrow your eyebrows. "With me, I mean!"

His stomach did flips at the thought of a date with you, something he's been waiting for since you've met. His heart was beating so loud, but the only thing he could do is wish you couldn't hear it.

"Like a date?"

"Yes!" His eyes lit up when you said the word. His energetic expression quickly died down when he realised you didn't answer his question. "Only if you want to."

"You know, I've been waiting for this as much as I've been waiting to bury someone that you've accidentally killed."

"I'm so glad you– Wait, what?" His goofy smile faded away.

"Kidding, but yes, I'll go out with you."

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comfyswitcherblanketfort · 3 years

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I’ll Try

hi i know i said i was gonna work through my prompts but ive been having a mini writers block and tried to get rid of it with this which ended up not working and this took three days when something like it would have taken three hours this time last year 🤣 im fine everythings fine

pairing: geraskier

warnings: post getting together touch starvation, geralt getting overwhelmed and feeling guilty about it, two idiots being idiots, geralt refuses to speak up for his needs im not projecting i swear, thats it tho, they dont even fight its just a nice little convo, un beta’d

_________________

Two weeks. It had taken two weeks for Geralt to muster up the courage to hold Jaskier’s hand as they walked. They’d had a stilted and painfully awkward conversation about feelings and decisions and commitments that ended rather well, but Geralt just couldn’t do it. He’d kept his distance from people for so long that the thought of holding someone else and being welcome whenever he wantedto do so sent his heart racing. The first week he couldn’t bring himself to think about being held in return without a pang of anticipation and fear shooting through his chest.

But he’d done it. And he loved holding Jaskier’s hand. He loved being able to walk up behind his bard and wrap his arms around Jaskier’s waist, resting his chin on his shoulder, and lean on him. He loved the light touched to wrists and how Jaskier would brush his hair out of his eyes before kissing his brow. He really really loved it.

Just… it could be overwhelming. Jaskier was extremely tactile and while it was nice to be able to communicate without needing words, Geralt found it could become too much rather quickly. He also felt extremely guilty about it. Jaskier had even told him he was always made feel like he was ‘too much’ for his partners (‘usually too adulterous’ Geralt had teased) and the last thing the witcher wanted to do was tell him as much.

But he damn near wanted to crawl out of his skin one afternoon as he was grinding herbs for his potions. Jaskier had one leg over him as they sat on the ground and the bard was bent almost in half to lay his cheek on Geralt’s shoulder. That Geralt could muscle through, but it was the little touches and shifting that came from Jaskier playing with the cuffs of his shirt that really threw him.

After an hour of barely being able to focus, Geralt finally scrambled to stand and start pacing the edge of the meadow where they’d made camp.

“Geralt?” Jaskier called to him surprisingly cautiously, still sitting where they’d been entangled, but now leaning back on his hands as if he’d been hit in the chest with a rabbit carcass.

“Hm”

“What’s going on?”

Geralt just shrugged as he continued his pacing, “Need to walk. Cramp.”

It seemed Jaskier wasn’t buying his half-assed excuse as he planted himself directly in Geralt’s path and grabbed him just above the elbows, “You’ve been acting weird all day.”

“Tired,” Geralt growled, feeling ready to snap at any moment.

Jaskier’s lips disappeared into a thin line and his eyebrows climbed his forehead, “Yeah, and I’m a skilled swordsman. What is wrong?”

Try as he might, Geralt couldn’t unclench his jaw as he spoke, keeping the volume low in the hopes it wouldn’t frighten Jaskier, “Let me go.”

Hurt flashed across Jaskier’s face as he took a step back and folded his arms over his chest. There was no anger in his posture though, geralt could have handled that easily- gladly even, but it broke his heart to see the way his bard held himself. Quite literally holding himself around the ribs with his shoulders slightly hunched, Jaskier just stared at Geralt, waiting with a look akin to fear on his face.

Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, Geralt tried to sift through his words despite the urge to simply stomp off into the woods, “Overwhelmed.”

It wasn’t much but it was the best Geralt could force out. And by some miracle, it seemed Jaskierwas relieved by the answer. He let his arms hang by his sides and stood a little taller, tilting his head to the side as he spoke, “Is there some noise…? Smell I cant smell?”

Geralt shook his head and tapped his wrist, indicating the cuff Jaskier was fiddling with before.

“Oh… you- dont like the touching…” Jaskier looked on the edge of tears. Anyone else may have thought he was just slightly upset, but Geralt knew what to look for. Jaskier’s lips were back in their firm line, but this one was narrower, and all expression left his eyes.

“No! No, Jask I uhm, really like that. A lot… I’m not used to it though…” As Geralt scrambled to get his words out he stepped forward, reaching to hook his pinky around Jaskier’s.

“Well of course not. It’s been less than a month.” Jaskier still looked cautious, though his eyes softened ever so slightly.

“It’s been... decades since someone touched me so often and so... innocently,” Geralt mumbled, hoping Jaskier could make sense of the information.

“Oh Geralt… sweetheart I didn’t realize…” Geralt just tilted his head at Jaskier as he continued, “Thats like throwing a man baking in the desert straight into an ocean. Of course you’re overwhelmed! I- I didn’t even think…”

“I didn’t want you to think I thought you were too much…” Geralt offered, giving a little shrug and feeling a bit like a child.

Jaskier gave him a sweet smile and swung their hands side to side just a bit, “Thank you, darling. You can tell me when you reach your limit next time. I wont get upset.”

Geralt swallowed hard and cleared his throat muttering a quick “I’ll try.” before giving Jaskier a peck on the cheek and going back to crushing his herbs. Jaskier picked up his lute and plucked away at the strings and every time Geralt looked up at him he was smiling with a mix of affection and wonder. They’d be fine, Geralt decided, he’d just have to use his words.

#geraskier #geraskier fic #geraskier getting together #geraskier established relationship #touch starved geralt #overwhelmed geralt #the witcher #the witcher fic #the witcher fanfic #geralt #geralt of rivia #geralt fic #geralt of rivia fic #jaskier #jaskier fic #julian alfed pankratz #jaskier fanfic #lol this might have taken so long bc i am geralt oops

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