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#and isn't that horrible of me? doesn't that make me as much of a transphobic monster as my ex
asordidbarwere · 3 months
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first valentine's day in a long time that I have someone worth doting on and I'm wasting it feeling like shit about myself and my identity and everything else
#literally can't think about anything other than not feeling like i deserve to call myself trans#and how being called a lesbian makes me uncomfortable but being considered a lesbian brings my gf such joy#so if we're together wtf does that mean#i wish everything were easier#i feel like nothing compared to the transfem struggle#hatred isnt constantly weaponized against me#what right do i have to claim the trans identity at all#i hate being considered a woman but i do nothing to suggest I'm anything else#like i think i can just declare ''I'm a boy'' and have that mean shit#is there even a kind of masculinity that exists in this world that isn't just oppressive and violent#how can i say i admire those things and strive for them in front of someone who hates how it was expected of them their whole life#why am i so not okay with transitioning#why can't i do anything but live in fear#I'm going to fuck this up. i finally get to know what real love feels like and I'm going to sabotage all of it#I'm going to make them hate me and there's nothing i can do#it's just a matter of time#I'm scared that they'll go in hrt and it will make them unrecognizable to me as the person i fell in love with#and isn't that horrible of me? doesn't that make me as much of a transphobic monster as my ex#i feel like absolute shit. i wish I'd died in that car accident. i wish I'd never met someone who makes me so happy#so that i wouldn't have anything to fear losing or changing#i wish i didn't exist. i hate this whole fucking world#and also what disgusting level of privilege we all have to be giving a fuck about our genders while a genocide rages on#i wish i could wish for death but i don't wish for my gf to go through that loss#i wish i truly had nothing to lose. i don't deserve a damn thing
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strangertheories · 2 years
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It is my biggest pet peeve when (mostly) straight people try to make queer people feel guilty for shipping two same gender characters together or say it's problematic to ship them, so I've made a little list debunking their ideas. I'll be talking a lot about Byler but this also applies to Elmax, Ronance, Steddie and queer ships in general.
"Why can't people be friends anymore?" Why can't a guy and a girl be friends either? Why aren't you saying this about Chrissy and Eddie shippers? Unless the issue is that they're gay.
"You're assuming Will is gay based on stereotypes!" Of course, the horrible stereotype that gay guys like men but not women, how problematic of me.
"You're fetishizing children!" No one says this about M*leven shippers. The fact that you view a queer relationship as inherently sexual and adult is sexualising young people much more than shipping Will and Mike does.
"Men will be scared to be affectionate to their friends in real life in case people think that they're gay!" First of all, I doubt some straight guy is going to stop hanging out with his friend because some random person on the internet drew Steddie fanart. And second of all, why are we treating straight men's fear of being perceived as gay as a perfectly valid and normal fear? (I elaborate a bit on this point in the reblogs)
"Why is it okay to say Mike Wheeler is gay but not say Robin is straight? You're erasing his sexuality!" First of all, when did Mike say he's straight? Sure he said he loves Eleven (which I doubt he does anyways) but bi people exist. Plus, there are so many straight characters and ships out there. Straight people don't look up lists of shows with canonical queer representation or watch a show because it has a straight girl in it. Lesbians like myself look up to characters like Robin and they are meaningful to them. No straight person feels seen in their heterosexuality because of Mike Wheeler. The only exception in my opinion is when people headcanon straight characters who are dating trans people as bi like Tao from Heartstopper because that comes off as transphobic.
"They're too young to know that they're gay and you're forcing a sexuality on them." I've known I'm gay since I was eleven or twelve which is the age they are in S1. And yet again, why aren't you saying this about straight people! Everyone accepted that Dustin and Lucas liked Max in S2. Yet Will is too young to know who he likes... Interesting.
"Grown adults wanting two young boys to kiss each other is pretty weird." The issue with this is again the hypocrisy. Adult M*leven shippers don't get told this. Mike kissed Eleven in S1 and it was completely cute and non-sexual because they are children so of course it isn't sexual. Hell they even made out when they were 13 and no one complained. Why would that be any different if he kissed Mike instead of Will? Yet again, people view queer people as being inherently sexual but queer people get cute little crushes or want to kiss people sometimes too. It's not a sexual thing. It's the exact same as a straight person doing it.
Anyways that's my rant done. It just annoys me when half of their arguements saying why it's wrong to ship these characters are just masked homophobia, even if the person saying it doesn't realize. Feel free to add more to this in the reblogs, this is just what I've seen.
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cakesmelons · 4 months
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idk if your still gonna answer asks about the situation but as a fellow trans person i need to explain something that i'm noticing a lot of people are not understanding (don't worry this isnt at you or anyone upset with cal) i'm seeing quite a few people go "she's sticking to her beliefs and being respectful! she's not being transphobic so what's the big deal!?" and i genuinely want the people saying this to read this post and take into consideration on why this doesn't make the situation any better her belief is a very outdated and also dangerous one because believing that there can only be a male and a female invalidates so many people (trans, enby, non-binary, intersex etc) and those beliefs can cause actual harm to people to the point of literal hate crimes, i'm sorry but you guys shouldn't give her a pat on the back for "sticking to her beliefs" because her beliefs are very, very harmful and i've even seen other christens disagree with her and try to explain to her why this is bad
secondly; there's also how she called trans people a label and used the term in quotation marks, we are not a label we are living breathing human beings who want to be happy with ourselves and have a right to exists thirdly and there's the elephant in the room... the twitter likes and follows, it's proven many times that cal has liked straight up horrible transphobic and homophobic tweets and even follows people like matt walsh who want lgbtq+ people dead, if anyone defending her didn't know about the twitter stuff then that's fine but if you did and still defend her then it's clear you guys are beyond help closing statement: the reason why people are very upset with cal is that she lied to so many trans people in the community with a cut and dry example of being two-faced, you simply cannot say you respect trans people and interact with them while also going out of your way to have a low-key transphobic belief, liking transphobic stuff and following transphobic people especially when undertale and deltarune cannonicly have lgbtq+ character (cal even drawing said lgbtq+ characters like undyne for example which i find rich since i've heard she doesn't like mlm and wlw ships) and the community having SO MUCH lgbtq+ people this isn't a "lets agree to disagree" situation, this isn't drama either, this is a very serious situation also i've seen people go "she hasn't said any hate in the past!" as an defense, sorry but that doesn't change anything... i think it just makes the fact that she fooled everyone worse anyway sorry for this lengthy asks, i'm too scared to make a post but also i've been very upset about the situation and wanted to get my thoughts out because the way people are defending her without understanding why this is actually very bad is making me facepalm so hard sincerely, a very emotional trans man
I really don't have anything to add. This is a pretty good summary of this whole thing.
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xxlovelynovaxx · 15 days
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Oh lovely, the transandrophobic "trans inclusive" rad/ical feminis/ts are now calling te/rfs "twerfs" (trans woman exclusive radi/cal femin/ists).
Hey, you know how terfs "soured" a lot of people on genuine, intersectional feminism?
You're just them but trans, regardless of your gender. You're JK Rowling and Dave Chappelle in blue white and pink. You're writing essays on the evil predatory (trans) men invading (trans) women's spaces and mutilating their bodies with testosterone and cutting off perfectly healthy organs and rejecting the only good gender as traitors.
That last part is just verbatim, even.
Add trans in front of the genders in any transphobe's horrific ranting and you get your own posts. You're cruel, you're class traitors, you're feds in binders and gaffs too pathetic to even demand pay for the work you're doing for our oppressors.
Trans unity means I never give up fighting for your rights, even as you're throwing them to the wolves just for a taste of what it feels like to have your boot on someone else's throat. You justify it because of who you say has faced the "worst" pain, has been hurt the "most" by (trans)misogyny, because don't you know that women have the right to speak over any other marginalized person on their own oppression because only women really know what it's like to be oppressed?
Merlin's unwashed nutsack, do you fuckers even hear yourselves? You're indistinguishable from ter/fs!
Yeah, I'll keep fighting, because I can understand that even the most sniveling narcs who think they're "saving" people by betraying them, even the people radicalized enough that they actually believe in the bullshit they're spreading, don't deserve oppression.
Quite frankly, this post isn't FOR them, no matter how much it's worded like it is, because rage is not a tool of deradicalization and I refuse to judge even bigots every bit as taken in as your average Jehovah's witness or Amish person for doing harm while being victims of the group they're doing harm for.
(All the same, the accusations of trans people being indoctrinated and taken in by "MRA shit" are not only blatant projection, but also in the rare cases that they are true, pale in comparison to the quantity and scope of harm done by this actual significant growing group of radicalized trans people .)
Since I've mainly seen people with some form of "baeddel", who call people "transandrophobia truthers" or "transandrodorks" doing this, perhaps people need a reminder that baeddels were a group who took that name themselves (after it had fallen out of usage for several hundred years, claiming they were "reclaiming" it) who did a shit ton of harm to transmascs, nonbinary people, intersex people, and transfems.
These trans-woman "inclusive" radic/al fem/inists who actually are dangerous and violent towards every transfem that doesn't agree with you. TWIRFs are not a fucking joke. And to be exceedingly clear, there's a reason I hyphenated trans-woman in the acronym spelled out, because it's an adjective modifying inclusive; trans people of every gender make up "twirfs".
There's a decent chance they'll either take "twirfs" and wear it like a badge of honor, like some t/erfs do, or claim it's a slur, like... oh, like some terf/s do. I've read the playbook, and if there's a play I haven't laid out, I'm sure it'll be just as uninspired and plagiarized from te/rfs. But who knows, maybe they'll come up with something new and horrific and surprise us - every so often, ter/fs do that too.
Anyway, if you see this post and wanna tell me, an intersex transneufemmasc, what a horrible awful transmisogynist I am for acknowledging all forms of oppression I face and not just the single one I share with most of you, fuck off and block me. I've got no time for the usual suicide baiting, florid violent fantasies of me being raped and/or tortured and/or killed, and the like.
Besides, while you are fucking dangerous, I've got worse danger to deal with than you on a daily basis, for being a visibly genderqueer fat disabled person in a place where everything from gender roles to medicine is stuck in the 18-fucking-hundreds. I truly do not have time for your bullshit.
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i'm both jewish and trans, don't listen to that Anon at all. if anything, i think trying to wipe any discussion of Rowling (and any other transphobic or antisemitic public figures) only does more harm to both communities. it prevents any actually meaningful discussion about what causes transphobia/antisemitism and allows those beliefs to spread.
and nothing you've ever said has been transphobic or antisemitic (i was actually really appreciative of what you said about trans athletes a while ago! it made my day back then), and mentioning Rowling doesn't suddenly make someone horrible.
English isn't my first language so hopefully this made sense! i just wanted to give my opinion as someone affected by both issues
Thank you so much for your message and weighing in, means a lot! :) I agree with you about meaningful dialogue.
It's really important to me that my IFs are directly in support of trans people, and I've spent some time over the holidays adding the ability to play as trans to Merry Crisis though it's still very much a WIP. I hope to be able to add this possibility to CT:OS in a way that I can stand behind, as mentioned previously :)
That's not to say that I think the other anon's opinions are invalid though and I think we're all coming from a good place :)
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justanotherhh · 10 days
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Hi! Love your blog! I have a question:
Maybe it's because I listen to a lot of crime podcasts, but I have never associated psychopathy with being aro and/or ace (despite or maybe because I'm on the aroace spectrum myself?). Is this one of those things where there are people out there equating – I imagine especially aromanticism – with being emotionless? I feel like I've mainly heard the – also horrible – comments of aroace people being "like robots". Then again, I'm not "fully" aroace, nor have I had the need to be super open about it, so I don't pay much attention to this stuff.
Anyway, while I agree that calling Alastor an "evil psychopath" is simplifying things something that frustrates me in parts of the Hellaverse fandom in general....or just fandom in general, tbf...I don't think considering him to be on the ASPD spectrum is incorrect?
Enough rambling and onto my main question: in your opinion, should I always clarify that when I call someone a psychopath and that person also happens to be aro and/or ace, that the two things are not correlated? I don't want to accidentally imply something hurtful/feed into a horrible social mentality. P.S. I want to be clear that I don't want to imply that all people with ASPD are murderers/rapists etc either. Though clearly Alastor is the former. Of course they're not. And I can only imagine how much of a struggle living with such a disorder might be.
hello hello, thank you for the questions. i shall try to be methodical and not rambly (we'll see how it pans out)
yeah there's a big ableist and queerphobic cliché around "emotionless" characters being psychopaths who don't love -- basically it's an oversimplification of psychopathy and often conflates it with being psychotic, and of course, it assumes a correlation both between psychopathy and being evil, and being aspec -- especially the kind that's further down the end of repulsed and loveless and aplatonic -- as being evil (with "love" being the opposite of these things, which, tangent, do have a whooole other post on with this show, because it's done some very fun and potentially future-interesting things on love and sex)
the key here is that aro and/or ace is often never spoken of in narratives when this happens because well... people don't know wtf that is, so it's got that similar flavour to "oh well buffalo bill isn't transphobic, because actually the character isn't trans, the cisgender psychiatrist said so!" (actually... whole other thing on that too, but not on this blog... basically jame gumb is underrated and i root for them every time i watch the movie), but it's the Idea that "love makes you human, and sex is always assumed with love, and if you don't feel those things, it's a clue that you're evil, and the shorthand for that is psychopathic" -- generally the person writing this has never actually researched the words psychopath or psychotic, it's not about being interested in those concepts in characters, it's just a synonym for Bad
and yeah, the "like robots" fully ties into this -- the other side of the coin is aspec people as children, but alastor sooo far doesn't seem to be read this way, although the whole "but if he just discovers how to do Love/Touch/Sex in [insert whatever is wanted for this narrative] he'll become better" does play into some of those tropes too, that there is inherently something mentally ill about being aspec, and that being mentally ill is a sign of Badness (there really is a whole Essay i could do on this, and the general overlap between aspec-writing and trans-writing but! i will resist!), and it's about whether or not the Badness can be cured. if not, he's a psychopath, if yes, it's through normative relationship structures/fundamentally changing the character
it all comes down to actual curiosity -- hc'ing alastor as ASPD is totally fine (i also hc blitzø from helluva boss as BPD) and can open up a lot of doors for interrogation and interest, it's whether someone is using mental health as shorthand for shutting down further interaction with the character (think Psycho's "ah yes, this character is schizophrenic and has mother issues, hence why wearing women's clothing, the end"), or if this allows further play with the character, opens up potential doors, considers the character as rounded, rather than one-note. some aspec people do have a history of trauma or have personality disorders or are autistic, but is someone actually interested in exploring the rich variation of queerness within a character, or are we "explaining it away" as something that's merely a symptom (often one that is imagined to be fixable)
generally, im so into poking at villains and i think alastor is one of the juiciest characters ive had to play with in awhile, mainly because it feels like a lot of his writing is intentional and isn't me deciding to delve into the motivations of [slasher/monster/villain/etc] that doesn't actually exist in the text -- and i think alastor definitely does have some Stuff that could be unpacked from a neurodivergent and mental health perspective, even and including parts of his aroaceness
so in the end, picturing him on the ASPD spectrum and even linking that to aroaceness... I mean, totally chill. al-old-pal does have low empathy, and a pattern of reckless, violent behaviour, and fundamentally views relationships differently from the norm. im making arguments that he hasn't been able to create the kind of intimacy that works for him, except for perhaps with rosie and maaaaybe mimzy and niffty (@creepysora has had some very cool ideas of him connecting in alternate ways that work with his way of being and boundaries), but that doesn't mean he's suddenly More remorseful or empathetic about how his actions affect others
it's about whether or not one is using that as a way of minimising or pathologising aroaceness, and/or as a way of making aspec identities all about self-hatred (and that in turn fuels villainy), and/or generally as an explanation of his villainy as some inherent degeneracy, and/or using the word "psychopath" to mean something completely different from what it actually is... that's when we get into sticky territory
and in the end, it can be hard -- something that's perfectly reasonable to one person, could be crossing a boundary for someone else and we just have to live with that, so don't wait on my blessing, i just think as long as one's caring and curious it's heading in the right direction. i watch a lot of horror, and i can usually recognise when something is well-meaning and something is lazy, and even times when it's the latter i can still find enjoyment (think angela from sleepaway camp -- on the flipside the movie they/them was well-meaning and a complete miss in its final political statement)
i recognise also im bringing up a lot of trans villainy as-example, rather than aspec villainy. that's a. because my special interest is trans horror so go figure and b. because that overlap is soooo real
(another example, not horror unless you're a karate kid 3 truther, is the character terry silver, who is never stated to be aromantic, but whose villainy on the later show cobra kai is intimately tied to an unspecified madness that includes low empathy and... no love, vs all the happily monogamous (het) relationships around him. he's not aromantic, he's not diagnosed with anything, it's not of interest to the story that he may be mentally ill or have PTSD or be aro and possibly loveless or that he may be gay -- because yes, he's coded that way too and that overlap is also real, and a whole other tangent i could go on -- it's just subtext to add to the villainy)
now another tangent, but loosely connected: was reading a transcript of the 1974 TS/TV conference (the first of its kind that was organised in the way it was) -- a series of talks over the course of a weekend discussing trans rights, especially in healthcare, and it fully contained a section of someone saying that "true" transsexuals can be recognised because before they physically transition (into binary genders)... they're asexual. because they hate their bodies so much that they can't feel sexual attraction to others. lot to unpack there, but really in this little conversation as example, what i mean is that the roots of pathologising aspec identities run very very deep, including within the wider LGBT+ community, and since alastor is quite a complex character that has done some very bad things, it's worth really thinking about what headcanoning him as one way or another says about the character for oneself. what does it add? what does it potentially demonise or minimise? what does it allow?
the neat thing about hellaverse is the sheer amount of queer characters meaning we can go beyond "if x character is Bad this represents Every person within this group" but with alastor being (so far) the only character who's not doing the whole love-and-sex game (although i think striker counts in this as well, personally + listen... sir pentious givin' real demi vibes. and if we're looking for a link between trauma and asexuality, well, angel is right there. and, and, and...), it does bear going the extra length to learn about -- especially since a lot of people really don't know that these biases even exist in the first place, which leads to a lot of unthinking perpetuating
i think a good place to start would honestly be: "would this feel like a queerphobic and ableist coding if the character were gay? trans? bi?" not because we're totally over queerphobic writing in general (lol, can you imagine), but as a starting point: are we treating aspec identity in text in a way that makes the idea of being aspec in and of itself degeneracy?
but like. hell yeah villains. hell yeah neurodivergency, mental illness, low empathy, lovelessness, unhealthy coping mechanisms, Bad Mean Queers, cannibalism, and characters you just can't quite suss out. big into a fucked up little guy
how did i do on the ramblyness
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hindahoney · 1 year
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Tbh even at my synagogue there's so much anti orthodox sentiment and it makes me really sad. We're liberal/progressive which of course means we generally don't always agree with typical orthodox values, we would go to an Orthodox synagogue instead of this one if we did, but I hear a lot of talk among our community that I find really disrespectful of Orthodox Jews! Things like blanket accusations of homophobia and sexism which just...isn't true if you even glance in the direction of all the queer Orthodox Jews that exist. I swear people just like to say "Orthodox is bad to gay people!!!!" and all the gay Orthodox Jews are like "uh no it's not, we're actually a huge influential part of the Orthodox community, you can't just ignore that we're here, and youre choosing to ignore all the work that queer Orthodox Jews have put in to make our spaces safe and accessible" and then others still go "it's so sad how no queers can thrive in Orthodox spaces :(( sometimes it's like I can still hear their voices"
It's very much not the same thing but for the sake of analogy, it reminds me of American queers who say shit like "The southern states are so homophobic there's nothing there for us this is so sad <\3" while completely ignoring that the south is actually full of queer people, some will live their whole lives in those places and aren't any less queer or influential there than elsewhere, and it's super homophobic to make statements like that. Like sure just go ahead and assume gay people in the south are all completely trapped and powerless and tragic and nonexistent instead of acknowledging that there are thousands of fully realised queer human beings there whose experiences shouldn't be swept under the rug to accommodate the popular narrative that South Bad.
Im not saying Orthodox communities never have issues with things like racism, homophobia, sexism etc, but like?? So do Reform and Liberal communities??? Stop pretending we're absolutely perfect while being so grossly antisemitic *to other Jews*. I've had encounters with transphobic Jews at my synagogue and while I was able to sort it out and get them to a place of understanding my upset and showing remorse and changed behaviour, it feels like people just want to ignore that this shit can still happen in progressive spaces, because it doesn't fit their narrative of Reform Good Orthodox Bad.
I considered going down a conversion route to become Orthodox a few years ago and didn't go through with it, but I did get to engage with my.local Orthodox rabbi and hoooooly shit it's been so saddening and eye opening the way every Orthodox Jew I've spoken to has, very early on, gone "don't worry I'm not sexist I promise!!" because they KNOW people are going to make horrible assumptions about them just based on their culture. Like fuck it tells a sad story about the way people including other Jews must treat them. Straight up antisemitic
I promise not all Liberal, Reform, progressive etc Jews feel negatively about Orthodoxy, it's just irritatingly common and I really heavily sympathise with all the shit you must have to go through. You aren't without allies but I don't blame you for feeling alone when this is how you're often treated.
(ik this isn't my blog but @ goyim: comment on this and i will bite your head off, this is a threat.)
Thank you for sharing your story. I by no means am saying I don't have my own qualms with orthodoxy, and things that I disagree with my community about. But that's okay, it's encouraged to disagree.It depends on who you ask whether they would call me orthodox or not, certainly more liberal Jews would view me this way. But out of respect for the orthodox community, I don't feel comfortable taking on that identity yet, but ultimately that's the goal. For right now I feel comfortable calling myself "frum."
It's incredibly painful when I see Jews throwing other Jews under the bus, because I take the term "tribe" seriously. When Cain asks HaShem "Am I my brother's keeper?" the Torah, and as consequence, the Jews, answered unequivocally yes. A Jew across the world that I've never met is, in my eyes and my entire soul, my family. So when I see my family fighting with each other over complete misunderstandings that could be solved if we just listened more, it hurts.
I feel like when people see me they assume I'm socially backward, as if there's no way I can square my religious beliefs with acceptance of LGBT+ people (as if I myself don't/can't identify as queer), or with women having a more involved role in services. They just assume we are a monolith, as if we're a group of worker ants that all operate and think the same exact way.
There are queer orthodox Jews who have made their space in orthodoxy. There are women who feel like they thrive in orthodoxy, who are NOT "ruled over" by their husbands, and are not forced to dress modestly, but choose it for themselves because they feel more comfortable that way.
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poppy-metal · 5 months
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my two cents as a pansexual enby is they're an asshole. never once have I ever felt weird about something you've posted and I've been following you for a while so 🤷🏻‍♀️ also I feel like they're saying that a fem presenting person isn't allowed to use a strap on?? maybe I'm misunderstanding but that's what I'm getting from it and that's some of the most transphobic shit I've ever heard.
poppy, my love, I don't think you've done literally anything wrong. especially because for as much as you say you want (fem character) to dick you down with their strap, you also talk about tribbing soooooo it's not like you're only attracted to that character IF they have a dick/strap on
I'm sorry people are being horrible to you, you really don't deserve it <3
yeah, it all stared because this group of people on twt don't think you can be feminine and be sexually dominant and empowered without that meaning something masculine. they basically had one person stalk my nsfw account and then make a post about me saying how im transph*bic because i write jordan as dominant. then alot of people who DONT follow me or even know me hopped on and started snowballing and alot of the things they were saying read as biphobic to me as a woman because they were basically saying it was weird that i wanted to be sexually submissive and that wanting to be pegged meant i didn't see jordan as a woman. it spiraled and made me very upset and anxious but I've calmed down and come to realize people on twt - on any platform really - will find a narrative they want and go with it and it doesn't matter if its true or not.
it just rubbed me the wrong way, because jordan is a character who identifies as both a man and a woman, wants to be recognized and seen as both, but generally has a more masc!leaning personality. doesn't take away from their femininity because there are plenty of people out there who happily identify as a woman and present themselves a certain way. i hesitate to call it masc! be things like the stuff you wear or the things that intrest you shouldn't inherently be labled as masculine or feminine. i write them domming because of how they present themselves in personality, not because i prefer men. i have to laugh because im honestly more attracted to women, so like. it was all just very silly when i took a step back.
im sorry jordan gives off such big strap energy thats literally not my fault.
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linddzz · 2 years
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The pottery studio I go to is in a upper middle class area, in what is known through the city as the Wealthy Christian Conservative Zone, and as such the majority of the other people are middle aged to older white women who make little things for their grandkids and talk about their Catholic Bible studies.
Which is all to say it's not my typical crowd as I'm not theirs. I at first just kept my headphones in and kept to myself. But I go multiple times a week, and conversations happen, and it's been a nice reminder to myself the value of what I like to preach about regarding talking to people outside my demographics.
Now, to make it clear, that's mostly because these women have pleasantly surprised me all around. Part of why I've kept going is I haven't heard anything homophobic or transphobic or racist. This isn't to say none of them feel this way, I don't know. But there is a lot of common ground. Hell, maybe they've been pleasantly surprised that the tattood younger woman with the purple undercut is polite and nice to them.
They find out I'm a marine biologist and ask curious questions. One asks if lobsters have feelings because she's concerned after finding out how lobsters are cooked. They're all both amused and fascinated by my answer of "if you ask two animal behaviorists that you'll get ten answers and then the behaviorists will get into a fistfight." This led to a discussion all around on the complex nuance of eating meat and trying to navigate the ethics of the horrid industry and needing to find out what companies actually have better welfare and which are lying.
One told me about her son in highschool. She explains COVID hit his sophomore year and he was so driven and outgoing but the isolation and state of the world have made it so it's hard getting him to go to highschool or think about his future. None of them judge him or blame the quarantines. They all nod in sympathy and we talk about how we don't know how we would have handled the same things at that age, and how it's so hard for kids these days.
One woman says that she's amazed at the GenZ generation. She says her generation got disillusioned but "we were weaker. We just shut it out and got morose and made existential art about how bad society was. But the millennials and GenZ kids said they wouldn't accept it. At this point I go to where the kids are going for protests. They know what they're fighting for."
One tells me about her daughter going to school for anthropology. Her kid loves learning and she herself is shocked at what she doesn't know. "Did you all know that they purposely gave smallpox blankets to Native tribes? It's horrible. I never learned that. I should have learned that."
There's a girl in college for an art degree that works there and it's obvious she feels right at home amongst these women. She talks about a shitty thing her boyfriend said and they all tell her to dump his ass. I chime in with red flags that she's mentioned and they all nod. "Don't just get married because people think you should." One tells her. "Im married now and if I could have done things differently..."
There's enough sympathetic nodding that it's distressing. I've only just started joining the conversation and wish I was at a point where I could tell them their lives aren't over. They can still leave and not settle. But it's heartening in a way to see that they don't want to pass those ideas that still hold them on to the younger women.
I don't know how all these elder, Catholic white women vote and I'm not asking. There's still value. It's good, I think, to see a bunch of women who I would usually be extremely cautious of (and who might be cautious of me) and find how much we can talk, to find they're more nuanced than I may have expected, to see that older generations can learn and do learn and could keep learning.
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the whole “sansa is the most relatable woman” thing is so triggering for me because as an afab person with late diagnosed autism sansa reminds me so much of the girls who used to bully me. i relate so strongly with arya because we both struggle with having conservative femininity imposed on us by society and are demonized for not adhering to “traditional” femininity
Hello @daenerysthevampireslayerr !
Yes, I find Sansa to be an alienating character for me as well, and I know a lot of people who feel this way. Sansa is a rich hetero white girl who abides by the status quo and perfectly fits into the highborn feminine box in her world. She is extremely classist and misogynistic, as well as closed-minded, selfish and vain and disloyal to a family that has done nothing to earn that disloyalty from her. As a mixed race bisexual woman who was born illegitimate and raised by a single mother, we weren't exactly rich either. We lived paycheck to paycheck. I also wasn't conventional looking so I myself grew up being bullied.
And while I was a little girl who loved "feminine"-coded things (playing with dolls and barbies, wearing dresses and make-up and jewelry) and romances and dreaming about happily ever after, I still can't relate to her. And that's because I was raised by a gender non-conforming mother who despised "feminine"-coded things and made me feel lesser for liking those things and for being a creative. I literally was the outcast when it came to me, my older sister, and my mother. I also wasn't blind to the world at large and I relate to Arya's anger at society and the injustices of the world, and how trauma can up that anger and make you lash out. I was also open-minded like her.
I just can't relate to Sansa, and people in this fandom proclaiming that Sansa is "the most relatable" has a very narrow view of what's relatable and what isn't, but from what I can tell, a lot of toxic Stansa's seem to be more conservative and has more of a tradfem/tradwife/tradcath or puritanical mentality. So they think every woman should be able to relate to Sansa, and every man in the audience should be in love with her, or some such nonsense. Of course, this is extremely exclusionary, because of how misogynistic and transphobic these people tend to be. Suffice it to say, I will never relate to Sansa, and if other people don't relate to her that should be accepted as okay. We all have preferences and we didn't all grow up in the same way. Why should I like a character who treated her little sister like crap on her shoe, didn't care she was almost killed by her betrothed, continues to think lowly of her even when she thinks Arya is dead, is disloyal to a family that didn't treat her badly at all and loved and constantly praised her, and is completely unrepentant for any of her bad behavior. She never reflects on any of her past behavior because she never thinks anything she does is wrong. She refuses to acknowledge, feel shame/guilt, take responsibility, and try to be better. If she did this in her arc, I would probably feel different about her as a character (Even though I still wouldn't relate to her), but she's forever the most frustrating POV to read for me where her character and it's development is concerned.
A lot of people in fandom cry about how people can dislike/hate Sansa, but go on to love Jaime, and I'm going to reveal why Jaime is one of my favorite characters. It's because even though he's done horrible shit, he acknowledges it, takes responsibility for it, and wants to do better. Does he do better? I think he does, it's not a lot better, but he's making progress, and he'll make better progress when he stops trying to act like Tywin. But it's the fact that he acknowledges all this and wants to be better (whether he achieves it or not) that makes him more likeable to me than Sansa, who has never taken responsibility for anything in her life and who doesn't want to do better. Yes, Sansa hasn't done as much bad as Jaime, but I really don't care. :P
But also, I think character relatability is overblown. Some of my favorite characters aren't relatable to me, or I only share one or two qualities with. I don't need my favorite character to be my copy. I do tend to relate more with Arya than my average favorite characters, but there is still several things about Arya that isn't relatable for me personally, but that doesn't make me love her less. And Sansa doesn't need to be relatable to be liked or loved by fans. It all has to do with preference. But suffice it to say, if it weren't for the toxic Stansa's I would have been neutral about Sansa in the books post AGOT. However, their toxicity makes it impossible. :/
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edvinception · 1 year
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To the anon who doesn't understand why Tumblr hates yrtwt... most of my hatred of yrtwt comes from their "jokes" but there are many other things that bother me.
They are borderline horrible! Making mean comments then commenting "they don't understand its a joke 😭" doesnt make what you said a joke or okay. like calling Edvin a loser or sharing that LGBTQ flag gif with his name on it which comes across as implying his sexuality. There has been people bullied off if the platform for daring to say that they don't headcannon Wille as autistic or trans/trans non binary and calling them ableist or transphobic. Constantly tagging him in inane and stupid posts. Stalking their every little movement then calling people out for invading e and os privacy. Their inside jokes about a secret situation that happened between e and o that they can disclose but openly mention to get attention. To bullying Omar for interacting with the wrong people online when he replies to a comment. To calling Edvin a t*rrorist. Bullying nurbo and bullying people who like nurbo. Bullying eachother if someone has a preference towards a specific cast member. Bullying Nikita for not wanting to say Felice is a lesbian and calling her homophobic because she doesn't believe Felice is gay (which canonically as far as we are aware she isn't). Being so involved in a celebrities twt account that they are genuinely upset it might be deleted when I'm pretty sure 80% of his tweets exist elsewhere.
I can go forever! This anon is why we don't like young royals twitter and why we 'look down on them' as such. it's a breeding ground of negativity and expressing out displeasure is completely valid and within our right of expressing ourselves online. We don't need to know his every move or thought or what projects he's doing as soon as it happens... We will always find out in due course.
The internet has made us feel entitled to gaining information about someone within minutes of it happening and one source that provides that is being taken away. Everyone needs to calm down and realise we will always find out what projects he's doing but we don't always need to know everything asap.
I used to stalk update pages every hour when I was younger and I was in awe with a celebrity or piece of work and it was so unbelievably unhealthy for my mental health that I cannot explain how much people are upset over a twitter account worries me
The "jokes" are a huge part about the problem.
As is the rest of the bullying and the tweets to family members or friends. It's awful, disgusting even.
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lacependragon · 8 months
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Once again consumed by the unending annoyance and rage at people caring more about a pair of fictional women kissing (badly animated, at that, it's so fucking stiff) over the treatment of real-life people who are actually, really suffering. Who have been harmed and abused. Who continue to struggle.
Oh, and if it's not the fictional women, it's the bird man.
Like. You'd rather support a sexist, ableist, racist, transphobic, cunty organization and throw them your money eagerly and willingly, while pretending they aren't horrible, to continue being this horrible, all over a pair of fictional women kissing than support trans and queer creators.
When canon is created by a bunch of prejudiced chucklefucks you take the canon FROM THEM and make your OWN while arguing that they need to PAY THEIR FUCKING WORKERS.
Go read your fucking fanfiction! God knows none of you write it. Or else you wouldn't whine so hard about creators taking too long.
"But all shows are like that."
I don't care. I don't buy Spiderverse merch. I don't buy RWBY merch. And I certainly don't beg for a shitty organization to greenlight another season of a show made by shitty people just so I can watch them abuse and belittle and fire everyone ELSE on their crew who ISN'T a fucking freelancer or contract worker.
Write a fucking fanfiction and stop acting like a show who keeps firing EVERYONE WHO CARES ABOUT IT is actually good enough to "justify" (no such thing) the massive harm and hatred of queer and trans people within the workspace, the livelihoods destroyed, and the careers forever tossed aside.
There is no CRWBY.
The writing is shit.
And more importantly: real people are getting hurt.
Write a fucking fanfiction. Stop using the fucking V10 hashtag. And remember that real world people are suffering and that if you condone this suffering, you are shitty.
Writing fic and drawing fanart is great! But seriously you chucklefucks drop the fucking tag.
No show, especially one that is:
fatphobic (only villainous or perverted characters are fat)
colourist & racist (all dark skinned characters are villainous or die, with the exception of fucking EMERALD and Oscar, but we have Hazel, Arthur, and Sienna to start)
ableist (no one is allowed to go without prosthetics, scars exist only for vibes, disability is never given a nuanced discussion, demonization of mental illness, not to mention the entirety of Ruby's storyline in V9)
queerphobic (toxic masculinity is everywhere, Ren's basically the only guy allowed to be remotely feminine, the obnoxious lack of queer men on screen due to RT's well-documented homophobia)
or sexist (yeah you'd think it wouldn't be, but when you consider the amount of V9 that is focused on Jaune at the detriment of focusing on the TITULAR CHARACTER'S MENTAL HEALTH, and considering this isn't the first time, I'm calling it)
...should have this much of a stranglehold on people's lives! It's not fucking worth it!
I love RWBY. I have loved RWBY since the Red Trailer. Those four girls mean a lot to me. I also acknowledge that it is full of fucking flaws that I work very hard to overcome and rewrite in my fanfics.
So, do like me:
Write a fucking fanfiction.
It's better than the show's actual writing, these days, anyway. And this doesn't hurt real life people who RT continues to harm just because, I dunno, they fucking can?
Anyway I'm disappointed in people. You can want V10 without using the hashtag. You can want V10 while speaking up about how people are mistreated and you don't want it to continue. You can want V10 and be happy to wait.
But if you prioritize the tenth season of a fictional web show over fixing the problems within the company, both specifically and as a whole, that are destroying people's lives, then you're just a loser.
Just a fucking internet loser.
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distortedwhite · 1 month
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(naru and gender)
(if my conversation partner somehow sees this, i am deeply sorry. i don't hold any grudges against you personally but i am a bitch with horrible opinions unfortunately)
gutted that somehow it's now acceptable to publicly shit on other people's opinions. or it's probably a normal thing now—idk i don't venture outside my personal bubble. fact is that it's absolutely disheartening to experience getting called transphobic.
and the reason? difference in opinions. that's it. none of the "pronouns = gender" bs or "using he/him would invalidate her as a woman" but "based on my interpretation of her, using he/him would be transphobic"
absolutely Stunned about this mindset truly. like how dare you label me, and others, as someone who doesn't accept transgender people based on the fact we have a different interpretation of naru's character. "i get where you're coming from but i think this wouldn't work for naru because of [insert reasoning for their interpretation of naru]" my dude literally 5mins earlier i was saying that different opinions about the same character is what used to make fandom fun and enjoyable. i have seen and acknowledged different takes on naru. i respect them even if some make me wanna tear my hair out. is it too much to ask to get the same amount of respect back. is it too much to ask to not be labeled a transphobe based on your personal opinion regarding gender.
i mentioned it before, but gender is something so unique and personal to every person out there. holding everyone to Your personal take about gender and judging them based on that is not fair. yes, the world isn't fair but that's why i think it's better to just do your best and make it a little more fair through your actions. it's incredibly idealistic and probably very unrealistic, but i'd rather do that than stewing in hate and negativity just because someone has a different opinion on my blorbs than me. especially in a series like enst where the average fan only reads the stories involving their faves.
i'm not trying to bash other people, like LOL i'm very flawed too. i used to think people who cisswapped characters in fanfics but didn't change anything else (course of story, relationship with other characters, ectect.) were homophobic. but after a discussion i've come to realize that those people too are just doing what they love. they are literally strangers and i shouldn't judge them based on what i see. i don't Enjoy the trope of changing a character's physical body without changing anything else, but i've come to understand and respect it. and that's one of the reasons why i think it's so important to hold conversations with one another... we can come to an understanding if we at least attempt to communicate with each other.
point is, you don't have to Like someone's opinion to be able to respect it. you don't have to Support someone else's opinion to be able to respect it.
for fuck's sake don't label someone a transphobe just because they have a different opinion on a Fictional character than you do.
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mothwithapencil · 2 years
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Hi can I just ask for some Ghetsis positivity because I’m sick of everyone around me slandering him
Sorry this is a little late but YES. YES YOU CAN. Big post incoming.
Listen. People hate Ghetsis for completely valid reasons. But people like him, even relate to him, for completely valid reasons too. And I'm sick of people shitting all over Ghetsis and people who like him all the time, even when it's completely uncalled for. I'm sick of having to be "humble" and apologize for liking Ghetsis when introducing myself to people, lest they think I kick puppies and throw babies off cliffs for fun or something. Sick of scrolling his tag and seeing people calling him horrible things or, even worse, targeting his disabilities (physical and mental). Sick of people legitimately claiming he's homophobic, transphobic, even racist just because they don't like him. You do see how that's harmful to people in those groups who like him right. Furthermore, I have the type of RSD where if someone doesn't like a character I like I feel hurt myself. So you can imagine how hellish it is out there. I can't imagine how bad it is for systems with Ghetsis introjects. So for all the completely normal people bearing the curse of simply enjoying a character:
Ghetsis likers! You're valid!
Ghetsis is a very complex, layered character! There's lots to like about him! He's pretty, he's funny, he's tragic, he's a depressed middle aged man.... The list goes on! There's also many valid reasons to relate to him! Ghetsis is implied to have several mental illnesses/disorders/etc that aren't often seen, especially not in a Pokemon game. He's paranoid, he has PTSD, NPD, body dysmorphia, he even shows autistic+adhd traits. He's also a cane user and is popularly interpreted as being an amputee/prosthetic user and having chronic pain from the injuries on his eye/arm/leg/etc. Although him being a villain doesn't do much for "good representation," it's okay for you to see yourself in him! I relate to him for his paranoia, PTSD, and autistic/adhd traits, and that's okay! And some may ask "But N is autistic and likely has PTSD too, why not relate to him instead?" Some may relate to him too! You're allowed to like both of them! Ghetsis and N likers aren't mortal enemies, we're not that different! But not everyone can just choose which characters they attach to. And some may relate to Ghetsis more for a variety of reasons. Ghetsis has a slower, more rough process of healing that may appeal more to some people. You're not obligated to relate to one character over another because the first one isn't a "good guy."
Even if you don't particularly relate to him, you can enjoy him just for the sake of liking him! Some reasons I just think he's a fun character:
His silly "mya-ha-ha-ha!" laugh!!!
The fact that he tries to look intimidating and scary only to call the player in USUM "tiny intruder"
Gee N, your dad is gnc AF!
This picture.
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"That blasted Colress! How dare he put his personal intellectual curiosity before our ultimate mission of conquering Unova!" *proceeds to continue spoiling Colress rotten and not doing a single thing to stop him from putting off his work*
The fact that he does so much to make himself seem emotionless but is still clearly very emotional. There's lots of things that confuse and scare him!
His passion! His love for Unovan history and public speaking! (even if he's not the best at delivering them without pacing around and stuttering and trailing off...) (#autism)
His terrible fashion sense. He looks like he fell through a window and got caught on the tapestry. His unexplained love for eye motifs. Me too.
The sheer fact he's such a layered character. There's a lot about Ghetsis that's never directly stated in the games, and much to be picked up from subtle implications. His history as a descendant of fhe Ancient King, his several traumatic life experiences (two separate pokemon attacks, and of course the "memory that has continued to haunt [him]," etc.
His incredibly silly dynamic with Colress. According to pokespe and the RR episode, they've known each other for years, much longer than one would think initially. Trying not to steer too much into antigrav territory, their friendship is unique and funny. They're best friends. They threaten to feed each other to Kyurem daily. As long as they don't get caught, they plan on conquering Unova together. Colress annoys Ghetsis on purpose and Ghetsis responds with ranting about him in private but still raising his paycheck. Chaos duo.
This post is already so long, and I could say more, but to top it off I want to say:
Ghetsis likers who hate N and N likers who hate Ghetsis are the weakest link. As I said earlier, we can enjoy both! Ghetsis enjoyers and N-joyers, we have a lot in common! We both love a very clearly autistic guy with lots of trauma and pretty long hair! It's not a stretch to assume most of us have some parental issues we're coping with by attaching to them! Furthermore, you don't have to "avenge" N by violently hatimg Ghetsis. N still loves his dad, and even if he doesn't have to, he still wants Ghetsis to heal and get better (Cue to... Everything he says to Ghetsis, and even his line when teamed up with him in Pokemas: "I still have hope for you, Ghetsis..."). If he saw the things some of you say about his dad, he'd be horrified. I promise you, saying you want to kick out Ghetsis' cane and take out his other eye just makes you ableist, not a soldier fighting for N's honor. People who like either character aren't at war with each other! I love my N-joyer friends! We can coexist.... Harmonia enjoyers holding hands and singing in a circle...
That's about it! Sorry I'm so passionate about this, I've just seen a ton of hate on Ghetsis lately and I want to combat it. By the way, feel free to send me an ask about any of the stuff I mentioned here!
Please don't interact with this post if you're going to say some mean shit about Ghetsis/his fans or say "he's not actually autistic/disabled etc" "I hate him but..." "You still shouldn't like him because xyz". Please just let this be a happy space for us!!!!
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timeoverload · 2 months
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Today was a pretty easy day for me. I had 29 cases but it wasn't as stressful because they weren't moving too fast. Nothing bad happened except I still haven't found that muscle hook. Hopefully it turns up tomorrow. I was happy that I got to eat breakfast and lunch and it wasn't terrible.
I did get very angry with the morning team lead earlier. He started telling me how he feels about trans people and I do not agree with his opinions. I told him I didn't want to have a debate about it but he wouldn't stop so I sort of blew up on him. He was telling me that he thinks trans people are mentally ill and he refuses to treat them with respect because he doesn't believe in that. He's always preaching about God and going to church every Sunday but obviously it hasn't taught him how to be a compassionate person. I remember a verse from the bible that says, "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." I think he needs to read the book again. I believe if God exists then they created trans people and Jesus loves everyone. They have always existed and it's not a trend. He tried to argue that they are just "seeking attention" but I don't believe that's the case. I think all humans can be attention seeking and that's just the way we are. He needs to stop hating people just because he doesn't understand them. He said that we will have to agree to disagree and I was so mad that I had to leave the room. I also don't think that was an appropriate conversation to be having at work period. I don't want to be forced to be around a transphobic asshole. I barely said a word to him the rest of the day. He says so many horrible things and thinks it's funny. I don't think he realizes how mean he is. He was talking about one of the surgical techs and couldn't remember her name so he referred to her as "the ugly bridge troll". He makes so many disrespectful comments about women. He told me he would leave his fiancée if she didn't shave her legs and I think that's shallow as fuck. He believes a man should make all of the decisions in a relationship and I don't agree with him. He is just so rude and has the biggest ego. He's always pissed about something. I know I have been complaining about him a lot but I am forced to spend hours of my life working with him by myself. I hate coming in to work in the morning now. I think maybe karma is starting to catch up with him because he has been having a lot of bad things happen to him. He has been having a health issue and may need to go on leave. I don't want anything bad to happen to him just because I don't like him but it would be nice to not be around him for a while. He said he is going to come back to work the next day after his procedure because he "lives to work". He's crazy and irresponsible. He also spends at least half of his day talking instead of working anyway. I already know his doctor isn't going to let him do that. He thinks it's fine for him to come in to work anyway and is expecting everyone else to wait on him and bring him stuff to do while he sits. I'm not doing that and that's a bad idea for so many reasons. I really need to stop talking about him but I have been bottling it up and he has been driving me bonkers. I am going to try to stay away from him as much as possible. I'm sorry for going on a rant.
Anyway, there was an add-on at 4:15 and that didn't get done until 4:45. I didn't leave on time because it took me a while to get everything cleaned up but it's ok. I'm so glad I'm home and that it's almost the weekend. I am feeling strange right now. I think I might be getting sick but I can't tell. I have a sore throat but it's not that bad so maybe I will feel better in the morning. I am very tired and achy though. I'm sorry I haven't been on here as much. It's hard to use my phone at work and when I get home I am so sleepy. I am probably going to order a new phone on Friday. I have fallen asleep several times lately with the light on and my keyboard in my lap. I think I need to go eat something really quick and get ready for bed. I need to relax because I have 32 cases tomorrow and it might be a rough day but I hope it isn't. I don't like Thursdays very much but I will try my best to make it a good day.
I hope everyone else has a wonderful day tomorrow!!! Thank you for listening to me vent because that means a lot to me. Talking about stuff usually helps me feel better. I love you all!!! :) 💖💖💖
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when someone is outright transphobic towards me, it hurts, it's terrifying, but it's at least simple, I think-- you're in danger and it's horrible and you feel unsafe and you know that.
but there's a specific.... grief, a mourning feeling, this sense of incomprehensible loss and isolation, that accompanies supportive transphobia. transphobia that's just... there as an undercurrent. i feel like i'm grieving and i feel unwanted and rejected for my identity and it feels like it's my fault. and i know it isn't, but it's... so hard to internalize.
so far my parents have been supportive of me and because of it i kind of trusted them. and my mom has been making an effort to learn, reading resources I've sent her to try and understand me, and i don't think she gets the non-binary thing very much but she's putting in that effort, she always genders me correctly and uses my new name, she's even helped me research local hrt clinics.
but lately I've been realizing that my dad.... actually might hate that I'm trans. When I came out to him he basically seemed neutral, like he didn't really care or thought it was normal. he says he doesn't understand what it feels like to have an internal sense of gender, and when I said that sounded like something an agender person would say and described it to him, he said, more or less "well that fits me sure, but isn't everyone?" which hurts because i have a really strong sense of gender now and it sounds like he thinks having a gender at all is delusional.
he's neurodivergent and old too so he has a hard time remembering things, and he always uses my deadname and pronouns and gendered titles associated with my agab because of this. he doesn't correct people either way but if he introduces me first it's always as my agab. I always read it as indifference/neglect/lack of care or emotional investment, but.... he was really against me transitioning, he thinks I should be grateful for the body I have, and the potential complications from medical treatment (which he sees as "unnecessary" or cosmetic basically) wouldn't be "worth it." to him.
i kind of....accepted all of this as just... side effects of his age or neurodivergence or of clearly not understanding gender at all. but recently... because my partner is trans and my partner's sister is trans and my dad recently said something that really crossed a line in my head...about how I've "changed" since I started to live with them a few years ago and how he didn't want me to make serious health decisions as part of a "trend". and a few times since then he's expressed gentle distain and distrust for my partner, especially when I try to explain things from my childhood that hurt me, he always says that's something that I think happened to me because of my partner's trauma.
and writing it all out like this it... it really does look transphobic. but he doesn't SEEM transphobic, he never "corrects" other people that use my right pronouns, he at least recognizes my real name, he understands that I want to transition and says it's my decision even if he disagrees with it. he doesn't intend to stop me or treat me worse for it or kick me out or stop financially supporting me or anything. so it feels weird to call him transphobic because he's...still so supportive? just... invalidating and not understanding.... so rather than scared or unsafe that's just this overwhelming grief. that i.... don't think he'll ever see me the way i am. i feel like i'm mourning my relationship with him. it feels alone.
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