#and it is SUFFOCATING

[mediumsizedpidegon]

Imagine: you are Idril and you hate your cousin viscerally and this hate is later justified in every way possible. He is a monster and a traitor and as unlike your belovéd aunt as possible. And he dies, and he does not come to the Halls of Mandos and does not reembody. Perhaps you are horrible for thinking this: but you are glad. You are glad he is gone and unable to return. He was a nightmare who crawled into your stainless city and tore it down when it was least expected. He made your father love him, and then he betrayed him, and you will never forgive nor forget it. Now there is no way he can hurt you, your husband, your son, your people– and there is no one he can betray.

and then your aunt reembodies.

Your aunt reembodies and yes, she died for that monster, but she was blameless for she was forced to marry evil and birth evil and love evil. But now she's reborn without those cobwebs of enchantment and you are prepared for her grief and rage over having been controlled. She will not be the same. But she will be back, at long last.

Except. she comes back and none of these things happen.

She doesn't care that her son is evil and treacherous, more his father's son than hers. She doesn't care. She grieves for your city and in the next breath she wishes for her son's return. So you love your aunt and your aunt loves the creature of your nightmares– the betrayer that nearly killed your son and brought your home to ruin. So you love your aunt but she does not listen when you tell her to let her son go because she never saw–

and so your aunt leaves. and it feels like betrayal. like your cousin ruining your family further from beyond the grave.

she still visits, but no one in the family knows where she lives. She is strange– both the steely eyed aunt you remember and yet sometimes she looks like she has never seen you before. you try to break the enchantment that she must be under to keep looking for your Marred cousin, but there is nothing for you to find. all your trying does is send her into a rage the likes you have only seen once before: when she dragged your father away from following your mother in death for your sake.

you love your aunt, and most days, you are sure your aunt loves you.

but you cannot understand her, and in this you have lost her as surely as when she died.

#tolkien #the silmarillion #aredhel #idril celebrindal #maeglin #our long heritage of heresy #in the heresy verse things are so so complicated between aredhel and idril because neither of their feelings about maeglin are wrong exactl #but maeglin being GONE– nowhere in Arda– is really the straw that breaks the camel's back for aredhel #and all idril is seeing is the maeglin issue which is a significant part of it but there's other shit in there as well on aredhel's end!! #my favorite dynamic for aredhel amongst the nolofinwions is that they love her but on a fundamental level they do not understand her #and she loves them back. so she forgives them for it (mostly) and says nothing of it. she leaves when it gets too much #but she always comes back #except reembodied aredhel has had an entire history created about what happened to her after she left gondolin WITHOUT HER INPUT #and BOY did they get it WRONG #and it is SUFFOCATING #here lies my three defining traits for aredhel: 1) she has been mistranslated her entire life from the very first time her mother held her #and said Irissë meant “Desired Lady” instead “Lady of Desire”/“Lady who Desires” #2) aredhel has little forgiveness and little pity but for those she cares about she will let (minor) mistakes go #(no matter how these little things build up and rot and fester) #and 3) aredhel built the enchantments that hid Gondolin and her craft is threefold: illusions and hunting and always. always. freedom. #apparently no one in her family can understand this. even after thousands of years and her DEATH #and unfortunately for everyone else reembodied aredhel reaches her limit and finally finally snaps #and this looks like it has come out of NOWHERE to the nolofinwions #shit's messy! #<- should be the slogan of Aman #my posts

[skellydun]

who wants to lay on top of me like a weighted blanket and fix me

#i can't use actual weighted blankets bc it feels suffocating but another person? 10/10 #not even in any kind of way i just need someone to crush my body back into some sort of shape that is not exhausted and aching #need me a bear hug and a bear to crush me tbh #the cabin will fix me. i will be secluded and alone and get high one of the nights and have smores. i will take stupid nature walks and read

[cowboysmp3]

i have a slightly insane relationship with window curtains/blinds and i need to know if im alone

#for context #i never shut my blinds #theyre always open #i know a lot of people cant sleep with their blinds open #bc of the light in the morning #but i find curtains being closed SUFFOCATING #and i hate waking up in a dark room

[time-woods]

a nighttime routine

#adventure time #fionna and cake #betty grof #simon petrikov #sharing a headspace with a deity infused with literal chaos and destruction isnt the most comforting place to be #its lonely and vast but it still manages to be suffocating #but hey at least she can live in that fantasy

[birdmenmanga]

I think there's no greater indication that disco elysium is sympathetic towards communism when it literally says "communism is failure" and then the literal gameplay itself rewards trying and failing. The most obvious one being the Shivers check at the FELD mural, which is an Impossible 20 check BUT opens itself up again and again the longer you spend in the world doing things, but even just looking at sheer probabilities, for any given white check, rolling first and THEN putting a point into that skill upon failure is more likely to grant you success than putting a point first and then rolling, but that would require failing first.

Other things too: Precarious world saying you'll 100% fail red checks no matter what (not necessarily a bad thing, btw!! throwing the boule into the sea is a success but like. in some other ways one would want a perfect petanque throw instead. but people wouldn't typically assume that failure is desirable sometimes from the start) persuading you to accept that you'll fail some things that is irrevocable, for a world where everything is just a tiny bit easier.

The faux game over screen when you faint after reading Dora's letter— emulating a sense of failure on the scale of the entire game. When it rolls up most people go "What?? Game over?? No way, what did I do wrong!!" and waking up after that, with no huge or lasting impact on Harry's health or morale really tells the player, "Sometimes things will seem so bad that it all seems like it's coming to an end, but it's not the end, it's really not the end, go drink so water, you can still go on despite this failure"

I'm sure there are other things as well that are eluding me but like. The literal gameplay rewards failing and succeeding far more so than simply succeeding every single time, and I think you get a fuller experience of Elysium that way too

#just thinking thoughts... #disco elysium #idk man when did we get so scared of failing!! #people never want to speak in class because 'what if I'm wrong :(((' #well then you are wrong... that is okay... it's normal to fail... sometimes saying the wrong thing is a great way to jumpstart a topic... #'getting a good grade in X is both normal to want and possible to achieve' #okay sure but have you made peace with the fact that getting a BAD grade in X isn't a bad thing? #a bad grade in being friends... okay... so you didn't check up on someone in 3 months... you failed... that's fine... #you can learn from it!! you can learn how to keep in touch with people. how to take care of them when they're sick. #how to resolve a dispute. how to communicate and compromise. these are all things you are not born with #and will fail first before succeeding at #Like yes I get that in the age of surveillance your failures may be recorded and preserved forever and that's not great #but if we don't normalize failure I really think we'll just suffocate and die

[dimitrow]

#lovers #sexy content #couple #passion #affection #love #romantic #suffocating #arm veins #couple goals

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

lethanfield sleeping arrangements .....

#ethan winters #chris redfield #leon kennedy #lethanfield #resident evil #resident evil fanart #rebhfun #ethan sleeping with two grown men attacthed to him like koalas #the summertime must be horrible #all three of them snore #its a race against time to fall asleep first before the snoring starts and the other two cant fall asleep #ethan is suffocating #save him

[ispyspookymansion]

#when im in a doing anything ever competition and my oponent is the overwhelming suffocating feelings of stupidity and embarrassment i drag #around like a corpse behind me at all times and cant breathe under the weight of ❤️ #kora.txt

[acknowledgetheabsurd]

Ah! I'm suffocating from this longing I have for you.

Albert Camus to Maria Casarès, Correspondance, February 6, 1950 [#174]

#albert camus #camus #absurd #absurdism #maria casares #correspondance #love letters #love #suffocating #longing

[conspicuous-clown-car]

pushing boundaries

#have any of y’all’s cousins ever put a bean bag chair on top of your head #then sat in it and suffocated you for 10 minutes straight #fnaf moon #moon fnaf #fnaf dca #fnaf self insert #fnaf #fnaf sb #kirbsart #cw panic attack #tw panic attack #cw claustrophobia

[colleenispunk]

i want him to squeeze me.

#that may sound weird but I don’t care I mean it #he could suffocate me and I’d love it #pedro pascal #the last of us #tlou #joel miller #<3 #his smile 🥺 #joel the last of us #the mandalorian #pedro is daddy #narcos #HIS CURLS 😭❤️

[nikkipettt]

The boys in Fontaine :3

#fan art #sketch #Genshin Impact #Albedo #Xiao #yo I drew full body without suffocating can you believe it #AND DESIGNED IT TOO #help

[glitterslutz]

#mask kink #masked men #mask #balaclava #suffocation

[melanirana]

The best kind of hug is the one you don’t come out of alive.

#like getting hit in the face with in a wooden plank #and then suffocated by a weighted blanked #ocean symphony fiasco #fnaf au #fnaf y/n #fnaf sun #Fnaf sundrop #daycare attendant fnaf #fnaf mermay #mermay

[nobie]

how does he look utterly besotted and wary at the same time, immeasurably old and inconceivably young simultaneously, learned and naive in equal force

(cap cr: @thesherrinfordfacility)

#every little detail michael put in this character has its fckn hands around my throat and im slowly suffocating heeelpp #the caption describes him well #michael sheen #good omens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #goodomensedit #dailygoodomens #useremly #userksena #myedits* #crowley version coming soon...

[bpd-thefallen]

Learning how to deal with emotions when you suffer from borderline personality disorder basically means how to learn to wear a mask for the rest of your life.

#bpd things #bpd thoughts #borderline blog #borderline personality disorder #depressing shit #heartbreak #life is a rollercoaster #crazy #mask #this isnt me #fake #mental illness innit #mental illness #coping #its suffocating