#and she loves them back. so she forgives them for it (mostly) and says nothing of it. she leaves when it gets too much
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His Girlfriend | Lewis Hamilton
WC: 7.4K
Lewis Hamilton x Verstappen!reader
Max Verstappen x reader!sister
PART 1
Summery: After your fall out with Max you try to find yourself.
Warnings: age gap(age not specified) mention of abuse, Jos Verstappen is an a-hole, Max is also an ass, bad childhood, bad father, cursing, alusion to smut but no actual smut
AN: So much love for the first part, I read all the comments and took them into consideration, hope you like this, and the ending. It’s a bit different from what I had in mind when I first started this.
Masterlist
Max goes back to his room with Kelly, he’s a robot walking. Going on autopilot. Kelly is surprised when she sees him back so soon, she expected that she'll have to have to call him and ask when he’ll be back for him to leave you. He had been saying how he hadn’t been spending as much time with you lately.
“Why are you back so early?” Kelly asks but it was like she was talking to herself, Max went to the bed and sat down, his gaze was on the floor, before he placed it in his hands with his elbows on his knees. “Max?”
Max slides his hands up to his hair and pulls at the strands, Kelly stands in front of him, and he looks up at her and shakes his head slightly. “Fuck, Kelly, I fucked up, I fucked up badly.”
“What happened? Did you fight?” Kelly asks gently, taking his hands in hers.
“Did you know who she’s dating?” Max asked and Kelly shook her head.
”No, she said that you'd get mad if I knew and didn’t tell you.” She’s frowning at the state Max is in. “Do you know?”
”It’s fucking Hamilton.” Max mutters and his eyes well up with tears that he doesn’t allow to escape, tears of frustration and tears of anger.
“As in Lewis Hamilton?” Kelly asks for confirmation and Max nods his head with a small yeah. “What happened? What did you do?”
“I said some messed up stuff, how could I be so… so cruel to her.” Kelly sits down besides him and pulls him in for a hug, Max sounded so broken, he falls easily into her embrace.
”I’m sure she’ll forgive you if you say sorry.” Max shakes his head, and Kelly doesn’t know if it’s a ‘no’ for the fact you won’t forgive him, or he won’t say sorry. “Okay, just when you’re both calm you can talk about it, y/n, loves you too much to stay angry at you for long.”
Max doesn’t say anything and just lets her hold him, all his anger bubbled down to nothing but heartbreak.
Lewis texted you when he was done with his meeting but you didn’t reply, but he made his way to your room anyways, you could be in the bathroom or didn’t hear your phone. When he walks in he sees the only light on is the lamp by the sofa, and he sees your figure on the bed under the covers. He moves slowly in case you’re sleeping, he goes to the side of the bed you sleep on. Only when he’s so close to you does he notice your shoulders shaking.
”Baby, hey, what happened?” Lewis says in the softest of voices, his hand lands on your shoulder and he kneels beside the bed, you slowly look up at him and he sees how distraught you are. He saw you crying a couple of times, mostly after a rough day with Jos bothering you, but he’s never seen you like this. Your face is as red as a tomato, wet with tears and puffy eyes and hiccuping. Lewis gets up and opens his arms for you. “Come here.” He sits on the bed and you just fall into his arms, the only arms in the world right now that could give you comfort. Lewis holds you and shushes you until you calm down. Once you’re calm enough he asks you what happened, and you just spill everything, Lewis stays silent through the whole thing, but his eyes go to the watch he forgot and guilt consumes him. He knew how worried you were about Max finding out about the two of you, he wanted to be there with you when you told him, and now your relationship with your brother cracked.
”Let’s get out of here.” Lewis suddenly says and you look up at him, tears still slipping out of your eyes every now and then.
”W-What?”
”Let’s get out of here, where do you want to go? It’s officially summer break and we can do and go wherever we want.” Lewis has the smallest smile, you shake your head no.
”No, we can’t just leave.” You blink a couple times, trying to understand where he’s coming from.
”y/n, love, you’ve always been where Max is, and you told me before you want to try and do things on your own, now is the perfect time, a month of just you and me, we can do whatever we want, no plans, nothing, just us trying whatever we want whenever we want, freedom.”
”That does sound nice.” You say and Lewis kisses your cheek softly.
”Yeah? You’re up to it?” Lewis asks cupping your cheeks, it takes you a moment before you give in and say yes. “Let’s go then.”
”Wait now?”
”Yes now! What better time than now.”
”I guess you’re right.”
And Lewis was true to his word, he took you wherever you wanted and did whatever you wanted. It was so liberating, waking up and wanting to do something to just do it without second guessing yourself. Your phone was turned off all that time, you called your mum and assured her you're fine and you'll be off grid for the summer break. She could tell that something was wrong and when she asked you, you just told her that you had a fight with Max and to not tell him that you called.
Max did call her asking if she saw you and she said no, leaving him confused, you had nowhere to go but Monaco or go back to your mother's house. Victoria also gave him no answer, he had a feeling you were with Lewis but Lewis was posting on his Instagram and was online and there was no sign he was with anyone. He was also doing things Max didn't think you'd like.
Lewis's phone was filled with photos of you both but those were for you both only, you also got a camera and it was filled with all the memories you both made, memories you want to hold onto forever. Lewis took you skydiving, he took you surfing, he took you diving, he took you racing with street cars, he took you karting, he even took you caving. You went from one country to the other, he even took you home to the UK and you met his family, you met his nieces and Roscoe. Everyone was very welcoming to you, and you weren't the only one giving love you were receiving as you were giving and it was a nice feeling, a feeling you didn't know how much you missed until you felt it. Lewis's family dynamics is so different from the one you grew up in, his parents are divorced but the divorce didn't affect his family like it affected yours, his parents are civil and respectful and Lewis grew up with love and positivity even when they had nothing.
”What are you thinking about?” Lewis asks softly, you’re both in a bathtub in the Maldives enjoying a relaxing time after surfing for hours, the sun has yet to set. Your hands were on Lewis’s thighs near his knees, his arms resting on the sides of the tub. You hummed softly before you leaned your head to the side and up to be able to see his face.
”You.” A soft laugh escapes his lips and you smile, feeling the vibration of his laugh against your back.
”What are you really thinking about?” Lewis asks again and you breath in and out slowly, still looking at him.
“You.” You say again and if asked you a thousand times you’d still say him, he’s all you think about, he’s consuming your thoughts and your feelings, he’s all you can feel and all you can smell, he’s filling your senses and you don’t want him to stop. Lewis’s nose nudges yours softly and he leans in capturing your lips in his own in a passionate kiss, you cup his face feeling his beard before your hands moves to his loose hair out of the braids or twists he has while he races, you tug slightly making him groan, his hand moves to your back to pull you closer. “You’re all I think about.” You manage to say between kisses, turning in the tub so you’re straddling him. Your hands moving from his chest to his shoulders. Lewis nibbles on your bottom lip soft sighs leaving your lips, the kisses slow down and Lewis pulls back only a fraction.
”You’re all I think about too, all of you love.” Lewis says and his hands move from your waist, one up to your neck the other down to your butt.
Let’s say you both came out of the tub when the water was no longer warm, it was far too cold when you stepped out of it.
The summer break was over and Lewis was in the paddock and racing. For the first time in your life you’ve missed a race that Max was in, it caused your anxiety to kick off but there’s no way you’d be back and support him after what he said. So you gathered your things from the small Monaco apartment custody of Max, and flew to your mother’s house, also custody of Max, but it was either that or to move in with Lewis. He did offer but you wanted to wait, your relationship already progressed faster than normal, and you wanted to think about what you want to do in your life. Spending your time with Lewis made you realise how much your life revolved around your brother and it’s now time for you to find your own thing, it’s overdue.
You discover from your mum and sister that they still don’t know what happened and besides telling them that Max said some hurtful things you don’t elaborate. This is between you and your brother and you know for a fact they’ll both get upset with him if they know the whole thing, And after everything you still care about him. You also found out that your father is pissed that you dropped off the face of the earth and no one was informed of it before, not because he cared about you but because you were the one managing Max’s social media and they had to scramble to find a replacement for you in a record time.
After a race where Lewis finished 2nd you called him to congratulate him and you guys facetimed for hours.
”Have you thought about what you want to do?” Lewis asked you, he was going through some of his clothes to find an outfit for the dinner he was having with his LH team.
”I’m not 100% sure yet, but I want to do something with racing. I've thought about a lot of things but racing has always been my life and even though I’m not a driver I want to be in motorsport one way or another.” You tell him laying on your bed with your phone propped up against a spare pillow to show you. “The other shirt looked better.”
”This one?” Lewis asked, holding the sage green shirt he was holding, you hum and he places it on the bed. “We can think of something, motorsport is always in the need of jobs, we can both think about it.” There’s a moment of comfortable silence before Lewis remembers something. “Did you tell your mum about me?”
”Not yet, I will before the next time I fly to see you.” You tell him, your mum has been curious but she isn’t pushy, when she saw you weren’t up to it she didn’t press further.
”And when is that?” Lewis asked, picking up his phone, it’s been three weeks since you last saw each other, not a lot of time, but since you first met you haven’t been away from each other for that long.
“When do you want me?” You ask him moving onto your stomach and place the phone against the headboard.
”Yesterday.” You couldn’t help but giggle, a smile stretches against Lewis’s lips. “Do you want to come to the next race? See how it is inside Mercedes before we go to Ferrari next year.”
You absolutely love how it’s ‘we’ and not ‘me’ you’re both going to Ferrari in Lewis’s mind. “That’ll make me the person that went to three different garages in the smallest amount of time.”
”Well, I’m for one glad that two of them are because of me.” Lewis was now laying on his back one arm resting on his head, the other one holding his phone up. “But seriously, do you want to come to the US with me?”
”I don’t know.” You mumble suddenly not sure, you weren’t ready to see Max yet, and you don’t know when and if you’ll ever be ready.
”Hey, if you’re not ready, that's alright, you can come whenever you’re ready.” Lewis the ever understanding man that he is comforts you. “You can also come and we’ll find a way to sneak you in without anyone seeing you.”
”No, no it’s okay.” You say nodding to yourself, maybe going and facing whatever comes your way is the best thing to do to get over what happened, you won’t be able to avoid your brother forever, he is after all your brother. “We don’t have to hide, I miss the paddock anyway.”
”Believe it or not but the fans miss you too.”
”Miss me?” You ask him confused, you haven’t really been online much.
”Yeah, #wheresy/n was trending all week.” Lewis informs you amused and you laugh at that.
“Really?” You ask intrigued.
”Yeah, the first race you missed, fans have pointed it out and you weren’t there for the Dutch Grand Prix so that made them wonder even more.” Lewis heard Max being asked about you but he didn’t answer the question and just dodged it, but Lewis wasn’t about to tell you that. He also wasn’t about to tell you that Max hasn’t said a word to him, not that they were ever talkative but Lewis was on the podium with Max and Max usually talks with whoever is on the podium with him. But Lewis would take a silent Max over an angry Max for your sake any day of the week.
And so you packed your bags, met Lewis in the UK airport before you flew together to the US. You always loved the Austin GP, but experiencing everything with Lewis felt different. It felt new. Lewis’s team were informed of you and they were ready for the media storm heading your way once you hit the paddock with Lewis and not Max after dispersing for almost two months.
You got dressed with Lewis for the media day, not in team kits not in RedBull colours but in an all new outfit that fits you and who you want to be, also an outfit that’s worthy of Lewis Hamilton’s girlfriend.
Walking in the paddock, all the cameras turned to you both, Lewis had his hand laced in yours. Uncaring for all the screaming and shouting from fans and camera men alike. Everyone was shocked to see you both together. There was no hint, no rumours, no sightings, no nothing.
“Are you okay?” Lewis asked in your ear so you’d be able to hear him clearly.
”I’m alright.” You say and give him a smile, and the poker face he had melted into a smile.
By the time you reached the Mercedes hospitality, you were sure the whole grid heard of you coming with Lewis. The hospitality was different from RedBull, Lewis had to go change and get ready for the media, so you were left with one of his team members, she showed you around. Took you to the garage and everything, she pointed to Lewis's driver room, and everything. You sat with his team while he went to do his duties.
Lewis was on for the sofa press interview this week, Max wasn’t so that was good for him. Lando, Yuki, Charles, Logan and Lewis were the ones doing it for the day. Lewis was in between Lando and Charles.
Charles was already there when Lewis turned up, they were talking to each other before Lando came and took the other seat besides Lewis, he was fresh with gossip that he wanted to confirm.
”Lewis, mate, is it true?” Lando was a bit giddy with the information, like a small kid who was about to be told Santa is real.
”What are you talking about?” Charles was the one to ask, he felt like there’s gossip that he wants to be in on.
”Lewis and y/n.” Lando whispered and had his head tilted so none of the media could see his lips moving. Lewis smiled and Charles looked at his future teammate with wide eyes.
”Verstappen?” Charles had to be sure they’re talking about the same person.
”Yep.” Lewis said popping the ‘p’ he looked overly happy with himself, Lando laughed and patted his shoulder.
“That came out of nowhere.” Lando commented and Lewis shrugged.
”Not really.” That caught their attention again.
”Since when?” Charles asked.
”Most of the season.”
”Wow.” Was all Lando could say.
”And Max?”
“Not happy.” Lando is close friends with Max, he’s bound to know and Charles is the biggest gossip with Pierre; they know everything going on in the paddock. Charles also knew y/n for most of his life. Everyone that ever raced against Max when they were karting knew the female, she’s always been there, not just nice to Max and his teammates but his rivals as well, especially when they were kids.
”That’s going to be tough.” Charles mumbled.
”Yeah, y/n has been going through it.” Lewis informed them the smile on his face was gone, he’s seen first hand how much it affected you. Max has been the number one person in your life for as long as you could remember.
“Poor girl.” Lando knows how much Max can get when he’s not happy.
Before the trio could go on further they were interrupted by the conference starting. Both will head to Mercedes to see you after, you’ve been friends with a lot of the drivers, seeing the ones that live in Monaco a lot.
Back in the Mercedes garage, someone came and told you that Max was waiting for you by the front. You sighed and stood up, knowing your brother he wasn’t about to leave until he could see and talk to you. So as to not cause a scene you just went to see him, it was bound to happen anyways.
Your brother did not look happy or comfortable standing there, the Merc crew were giving him some looks, but he didn’t shy away from them. His eyes saw you and followed you as you came out of the garage. You both moved a bit to the side, barely out of shot of prying ears.
You both faced each other in silence for a long moment, it felt awkward and unnatural. Something you both felt for the first time ever with each other.
”What do you want Max?” You ended up being the first to speak, otherwise it felt like you’d just stand there for hours.
”You disappeared.” Max said, you crossed your arms and took a deep breath.
”Yeah, I had to.” You tell him frowning. Max swallows and nods to himself.
”I was worried, didn’t know where you were, what you were doing.” Max tells you and you don’t doubt that he was worried for you, but it didn’t matter anymore.
”I told mum that I was okay.”
”Yes, but we’ve never not talked for that long.” Max’s voice may have betrayed him a little there because you heard how hurt he is.
“And who’s fault is that, Max?” You ask him, moving your hand around.
”Not mine.” You scoff at his words rolling your eyes. “y/n, we were fine before you started seeing him, he’s the problem not me.”
“Were we fine? Really? Because I’ve never felt better or happier than when I’m with Lewis.” Max had to take a moment to process your words, and he’s trying not to get angry.
”I thought you were happy?”
”I thought so too, but it looked like we were both wearing rose coloured glasses.” You tell him honestly. “Max, I’ve been following you around my whole life, helping you in any way I can, and I’ve loved it, I wanted to, but you’re old now and you’ve achieved your dreams and what about me? What have I done? What have I achieved? What's my name?”
”You never said any of that before, I thought you were happy with me, with the team.” Max was really having a hard time accepting what you were saying, but he knew that it’s true and valid, and if he accepts them as truth would mean he’s the worst brother ever for not releasing any of this.
”Max, I was happy, but it wasn’t easy for me and dad hasn’t been making it easy for me, I had to get away from this.”
“What does dad have to do with this?”
”You can’t be serious?” You chuckle dryly and roll your eyes. “Even RedBull employees have noticed hell Hemlut told dad to keep out of the garage, Max dad has been abusive to me, to us, I’ve always tried to protect you from it and not make it as hard, but you have to have seen it or felt it.” Max’s face was blank and that made you scoff. “Fucking hell, Max, the first day Lewis and I talked he saw the bruises he knew, how could you have not known? Or you chose to ignore it.”
”No, no I didn’t, I…” Max didn’t know what to say, you looked at him and he looked at you before he turned around and just left. You stood there stunned for a moment, shaking your head before you turned back to look at the Mercedes garage.
“y/n!” Someone calls your name and you look only to find Lily running towards you with Alex trailing behind, you open your arms for the golfer and pull her in for a hug. You’ve always had a good relationship with Alex from when he was Max’s teammate and thus you met Lily and formed a good relationship with her. After sharing a long hug with her you greeted Alex and you stood talking for a while, catching up, confirming the paddock rumours, and having a laugh. Lando was the first person to join you, before Kika and Alexandria did as well. And so some people joined some left but this spot near Mercedes you stood talking to everyone.
By the time you were back in the garage it was time for lunch, Lewis was in his room after he came, said hello and left you with your friends. You knock on his door hearing a come in, you open the door and walk in.
“Hi.” You say softly and make your way to the sofa he was sitting on, you lay down your head in his lap and close your eyes.
”Hi.” Lewis’s hands move to your hair to run through them and you close your eyes. “I heard Max came around.” You hum but don’t say anything or open your eyes. “Want to talk about it?”
You tell him what happened between the two of you, all the while he’s nodding and giving you one word answers, by the time you’re done, you’ve sat up and Lewis has one hand on your knee in comfort.
“Well, love, I think you just give him time, he needs to process everything.” Lewis knows that you want to fix whatever’s been broken between you and Max. “In a few days or a week he’ll call you and you’re going to have to talk again, he wants to fix this as much as you do.”
”I don’t know.” You mumble.
”I know, trust me.” Lewis says and raises your chen so he can meet your eyes.
”I trust you.” You say and lean in to peck his lips.
Well Lewis was wrong, Max didn’t come to talk to you in a few days or a week, Max came after a few hours. You were in the room you shared with Lewis after the long day you had on track, you already showered and dressed in one of Lewis’s shirts and panties, not planning on seeing anyone or going out.
So when you heard someone knock on the door, Lewis went to see who, he was dressed in some basketball shorts and didn’t have a shirt on, his braids out of the twist he does at the back of his head.
“y/n.” Lewis called your name, making you get off the bed and towards the door, walking out of the bedroom of the suite you see Max standing there glaring at your boyfriend while Lewis was looking at you, not seeing the looks your brother is sending him.
”Max… I didn’t expect to see you here.” You say surprised and confused. “Come in.” You look at Lewis for approval, it is his room after all, but just steps aside for Max to enter. You sit on the sofa and Max sits across from you, you look at Lewis wanting him to come sit with you.
”Can’t we talk alone?” Max asked and you look at him, the words ‘yes’ at the tip of your tongue, a force of habit that’s proving harder to break than you’d expect.
”No, I think it’s about time we talk, all three of us.” You end up telling him instead, Lewis throws on a shirt before joining you on the sofa, his knee hitting yours. Max isn’t happy about Lewis joining you but he has no say in it. “Why did you come? We talked today.”
”I know, but it- I just feel like we still have so much to say still.” Max says and you nod, for him to go on. “y/n, look I spoke with mum and she made me realise a lot of things, I’m sorry that I didn’t realise how much dad has been hurting you, I don’t know how I didn’t realise it before.”
”It’s because she’s been doing it for years.” Max looks irritated that Lewis spoke but he bit his tongue and said nothing. “You got used to it, it didn’t trigger anything inside of you.”
“That may be true, I just… I should’ve realised how much of an ass he is to you.” Max couldn’t meet your eyes, you take a moment to know what you want to say to him, not wanting to make or do or say anything just based on your emotions because you know your emotions will always choose him over you.
“Look whatever happened with dad happened, and I’ll never hold that over you and or blame you, it was all my choices and my actions and I’ve lived with it and I’m over it.” You tell him and Lewis takes you hand in his, you look to your side and see his soft supportive smile, you squeeze his hand and smile a little. “What I want is for us to get over whatever it is that’s bothering you about me being with Lewis.”
”And deciding to do what you want.” Lewis adds and you both look at him a bit confused, Lewis sighs, it looks to him like as much as you’ve both realised there’s still so many things in your dynamics that needs to be realised and fixed. “From what I understood, it looks like Max is upset that you’re doing things not with him or doing things for yourself without going back to him.”
You and Max look at each other and you go back to your conversation earlier that day and you realise that what Lewis is saying is true.
“No, look, whatever you want to do we’ll do it, you gave up so much to help me and support me and I’ll do the same for you.” Max says. “I want what’s best for you, yes I’d prefer if it’s you being with me, but whatever you want I’m okay with it.”
”Just not being with Lewis.” You state and Max looks at Lewis and sighs.
”I don’t think I’ll ever be happy or approve, but you look happy and Lando told me you’ve done so much… but why does it have to be him?” Max sounded desperate, he wants you to turn and break up with Lewis and just find someone else.
”Why Kelly? Why is anyone with anyone?” You ask your brother, wanting him to see.
”I love Kelly.” Max says instantly.
”And what? I don’t love Lewis? I love him Max, and he’s the single best thing that has ever happened to me.” You tell Max with tears gathering in your eyes and a squeeze to your hand. “It’s Lewis now, and it’ll be Lewis next week, and it’ll be him until he’s sick of me.”
”Not planning on it happening.” Lewis tells you softly, Max looks at you both, looks at the softness Lewis is showing you, he’s allowing you to say and do whatever you want whilst being there to support you. To have your back.
”You’re an adult now, y/n, you can do whatever you want to do, I’m not happy but if being with Lewis is what you want then I’ll try to be fine with it.” Max concedes but for some reason it rubbed you the wrong way.
”No, no.” You shake your head, and stand up and look at your younger brother, tears leaving your eyes. “You don’t get to tell me you’re unhappy, you don’t get to do that. You can’t tell me you’re ‘okay’ with it when you’re not, max, you know how much I love you, you’ve been my number one person since I was a child, I thought of you the first and last thing every day, I took care of you and helped you and protected you and never ever asked for anything I’m asking you now, to be happy, can’t you be happy for me?” Max stays silent and you wipe the tears away. “Fuck you Max, honestly just fuck off.”
You storm off to the bedroom slamming the door, before slamming the bathroom door as well, leaving the men alone.
”Look Max, I respect you as a driver, but you have to understand where she’s coming from.” Lewis says to Max calmly. “When you said whatever you want to do WE’LL do, you have to realise that you and your sister aren’t one, you’re not one being, your achievements are yours not hers she’s a part of your team but that was by circumstance, by a choice she made when she wasn’t even 13 yet.” Max once again stays silent, his mind is turning and churning. “I love your sister and I want you to know that she’s my number one priority right now, and I don’t think she’s ever been someone's top priority, so let her be happy, and like she supported you, it’s your turn to support her.”
Lewis leaves Max alone and goes to find you, Max hears your sobs followed by Lewis’s soft and comforting words. He hears you letting go and spelling your emotions relying on Lewis. He realises that he’s been lacking as a brother for so long, he’s never been there for you like Lewis is right now, and he’s known you for less than a year.
Next day you didn't go to the track, your eyes were puffy and you hadn’t slept well, so Lewis left you sleeping in the morning with a text telling you to stay in for the day. Half way through the day Kelly turns up, you spend the day talking and catching up. Your current relationship status with your brother has no affect on your relationship with her. Kelly has always been one of the closest people to you, yes it’s because she’s dating Max and by default you spend a lot of time with her, but in a way she’s been like an older sister to you, or just a sister that you can tell everything in a way you wouldn’t with the younger siblings in case they get upset or you’d ruin their innocence.
She told you all about P and what she’s been up to, you showed her pictures of everything you’ve done with Lewis and told her about all the places you’ve been to. You shared a bottle of wine, ordered some room service and enjoyed yourselves. No talk of F1 or boyfriends or brothers, just two girls having fun, and it was something you needed.
Quali day you made it to the track with sunglasses and a Merc LH44 hat on your head in a less in your face approach when getting into the paddock.
”Hey, y/n.” Susie Wolff greeted you when the cars were out on track for FP3.
”Hi, it’s so nice to officially meet you.” You say pressing your cheeks to hers in greeting, you’ve of course seen the woman before but you’ve never actually talked to her.
“You too, how are you doing? Hope the Mercedes garage is treating you well.��� Susie says.
”Yes, everyone’s been welcoming and lovely.”
”That’s great, I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” She says and pulls you gently to the side so you’d be able to talk comfortably.
”Yeah sure, what’s going on?” You ask her, having no idea why she’d want to talk to you about.
”I heard from Lewis that you’re looking into jobs relating to racing.” She said and you’re surprised to say the least. Lewis hasn’t told you anything about it. “And I have an offer for you.”
”Please.”
”I’ve heard how involved you’ve been with Max and that you’ve done well in karting as well, so I think that we can find you a spot maybe as a manager at first in F1 academy and then we can see where to go from there.” The smile that breaks onto your face is so big and you can’t help it, it’s caught on camera from afar, the text under your name saying ‘Lewis Hamilton’s partner’
“That’s a dream come true, thank you so much.” You give Susie a hug, and you can’t wait to get back to the hotel to say/show your thanks to Lewis. You both start talking more about the academy, working with women, what the job will entail, what's to expect and what other things you’d like to do. Overall it was a very lovely and beneficial talk to the both of you.
Race day comes and you’re watching from the Merc garage, the race was intense but for a rare moment for the team in 2024 both drivers are doing well, and Lewis is up front fighting with the top 4 cars. You’re anxiously watching hoping for a good result for your man, and as the race goes on it’s looking fiercer, and you find yourself hoping that everyone’s safe out on track.
A good outcome comes out of the race with Lewis coming in 2nd after Max, you’re beyond happy, clapping and cheering with the team. You don’t wait for the team and start to make your way down to have a good spot for the podium, somehow you end up standing between Mercedes and RedBull, right next to Kelly. Just like old times. You both wait, like old times. But you’re waiting for different people now, each of you is waiting for her boyfriend.
Lewis makes it back first, he runs over to the team and they hug and congratulate him, before he takes off his helmet and balaclava and pulls you in for a kiss by the back of your head. your hands land on his shoulder and you’re scrounged by the screams of the teams around you. Lewis pulls back and you’re both smiling, he kisses your forehead and turns to leave. He just passes Max who puts his hand on his shoulder to stop him. Max has already taken his helmet and balaclava off, meaning he had seen you and Lewis kissing. You hold your breath as you watch saying Kelly’s name.
”Don’t worry.” She tells you as she watches the scene in front of her unfold.
”Take care of her.” Max says to Lewis, it’s only the two of them that heard it, but Lewis nods and takes Max’s outstretched hand, they shake for a moment.
“Always.” It’s Max’s way of saying he approves and he supports them being together. You finally breathe when Max lets go and heads to you guys, he quickly hugs and kisses Kelly before he turns to you. He gives you a smile that you return and he kisses your cheek before he turns and celebrates with his team. Tears gather in your eyes but with the amount of cameras around you well them away.
There’s still a long way for you and Max to go, you haven’t forgiven him but this is a step. He’s still a tad bit apprehensive about Lewis but he’s trying, maybe one day he’ll see it and he’ll be okay with this relationship and it’ll all be alright. But Max has to let you go and give you the freedom to do what you want, he’ll try to be better for you, he’ll try to earn your trust once more. He knows he has a lot to work on and he’s willing to do that, for you, because you’re his number one.
Bonus Scene - Jos gets what he deserves
You and Lewis went out to celebrate with the team, and you’re thrown back in memories of when you first met, so much has changed. You’re no longer single, you wanted to go to the club even if you’re only having one drink and Lewis is having none, Lewis wasn’t forced to come as well, his team showed up for him. You’re both in so much better spirits this time around, you didn’t sneak away, you danced together. Lewis is singing to you as you’re dancing and you’re laughing, smiling and having the time of your life.
Walking back in the hotel you were laughing as if you’re drunk, maybe drunk on love. But alas, Jos can’t ever see you happy and let you be, that man has no sense of awareness or care, because why is he calling your name in the middle of the hotel lobby? Is it night time? yes. Is the lobby practically empty? yes. Is it still a public space? yes. Do the couple of people still have phones? yes.
All the laughter and happiness is stripped out of you in an instant, Lewis who was pulling you after him stopped, you both turn to look at Jos to see your father angry stalking towards you two.
”What-“ You barely managed to get the word out before Jos was throwing his arm to grab yours, with Lewis’s driver's reflexes he managed to pull you behind himself so your dad’s hand barely brushed against you.
“Whoa there man, what are you doing?” Lewis was boiling with rage, your hands holding his shirt the only thing that kept him from punching Jos.
“Step away, I want to talk to my daughter.” Jos stated glaring at Lewis, he was trying to make himself look bigger than he was, you were shaking with fear, memories from when you were younger flooded your mind.
”No, you’re not talking to her.” Lewis said through gritted teeth his hands turned into fists.
”This is family business.” Jos said back.
”I don’t care, she’s my family now.” Jos was getting angrier every time Lewis talked back to him. “You’ve got no right to talk to her, you’ve never even cared about her, we all know why you want to ‘talk’ to her and it’s not happening. y/n, is none of your or Max’s business anymore.”
”y/n, tell him to step away and come here.” You flinched when you heard your name coming out of his mouth.
”No, I don’t want to talk to you.” You tell him trying to muster all the courage you have in you, it’s been such a long time since you’ve seen him this angry, it’s like the old him came back.
”Don’t be an idiot, and come here.” His hand was pointing and waving around as he talked.
”No.” You shook your head, Jos having reached his breaking point tried to come near you once more, but Lewis moved, making you still behind him and out of your father’s reach. That made Jos angrier and the angrier he got the more he started doing things without thinking. You know your dad, you know his tell-tales, his ticks and his signs. You learned them, you had to learn them to be able to live and survive with him. Maybe it was the clench of his jaw or how he leaned on one leg a bit, maybe it was the small twitch in his eyes or maybe it was all those at once. But all you knew is that you pushed Lewis to the side, making him stumble and for a hand to come in contact with your temple. A small scream escapes your lips and gasps around the lobby, You stumble and fall back on your hands and knees harshly. Lewis is shouting and cursing grabbing your father by his shirt pushing him away, and security were on the both of them in seconds, Where were they a few moments before you had no idea. Once they got a hold of Jos and separated Lewis and him, Lewis was by your side helping you up. cupping your face in his hands, looking at the red spot, that’s bruising fast.
”Are you okay, love?” Maybe it’s a stupid question but he had to ask.
”Yeah, just a bit dizzy.” At your words Lewis led you to a sofa and sat you down. The police were called and you were handed ice, the dizziness has long since passed when the police arrived but a headache was killing you. Being in the US and how everything was already complicated, you didn’t press charges and even refused to go to the hospital wanting this day to end already.
Lewis bless him was acting as if you were dying, his arms around you to help you walk, leading you to your shared room, ordering more ice and painkillers, he took off your shoes and helped you slip out of your dress and into one of his shirts, he took off your make up for you and he moved the blankets for you to slip under them before placing them back on. You sat leaning on the headboard and the lights were dimmed.
”Lewis.” You say once he sat down beside you on the edge of the bed, he hummed his eyes not straying from your face. “I told you before we started dating that I have a lot of baggage and you said it’s okay and there’s no baggage… do you- do you still feel the same?”
”Of course, love, sweetheart, everything you’ve been through is just going to make us stronger, besides, it can only look up from here.” Lewis reassured you and takes your hand and kissing the back of your knuckles, you flip your hand and cup his face rubbing his cheek.
“I love you so much.” You tell him tearing up, the emotions he evokes and moves inside of you are too much, they’re all good and warm and lovely, but they’re too much.
”I love you too sweetheart.” Lewis turns his head to kiss your palm multiple times. “And I promise that one day, I’ll make you Mrs. Hamilton and I’ll give you the family that you deserve.”
”I don’t have to be a Hamilton, you’ve given me more than I could ever ask for.”
”It’s still not what you deserve, I’d give you the whole world if you asked me to.” Lewis places his forehead against yours softly and carefully not to hurt you.
Jos didn’t face any legal consequences, but videos of the accident were leaked online and the internet was eating him alive. RedBull had to come out and say he’s not allowed in their premises again. You heard from Kelly about the fight he had with Max about it and how Max cut him off, and out of his life. You didn’t care about that though you were just living your life with Lewis and focused on your new job, doing what you wanted, happily.
Main taglist:
@gnatthefly . @mochimommy2002
Taglist:
@itsapurrfectstorm . @seasonswinter . @runs-with-sciss0rs . @jajouska . @princessria127 . @thecubanator2 . @shelbyteller . @sugyomama . @emily-b . @torossosebs . @champomiel . @daemyratwst . @six-call . @jaydaaasworld . @ironmaiden1313 . @dilfsaresohot . @fearfam69691
#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 scenario#f1 x reader#max verstappen one shot#max verstappen#max verstappen imagine#sir lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton fanfic#lewis x reader#lewis hamilton imagine#lewis hamilton one shot#lewis hamilton#lewis#lh#team lh44#lh44#f1 fic
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What are your Regina hc’s??
hmhmhmhmmhmhmmmmm. . .
for me. the way I typically portray regina. she ALSO has adhd/ocd/autism. of course she's masking pretty hard, autism wise, but if you watch the movie she fidgets a lot, mostly with her hands. I think she both uses her typical rings to fidget and also buys and owns unassuming looking fidget rings.
the ocd is visible in the way she handles things, I think. she ruminates. not as bad as, say, gretchen or cady might, but she's not very forgive and forget. heavy on the not forgetting. so it's not crazy to think she might circle back to things in her head a lot, yk??? now if those things are typically bitchy and judgemental and even vindictive, well. that's her business. and you could argue that there's some cyclic thinking / rumination in the way she views herself and her body, too. I won't go too far on that, lest I risk being triggering, but her self image is notoriously shit for someone whose persona thrives on attention. the mental illness side of things is something I'd love to explore, but I'd be speaking from my own ocd experiences and that's not always easy to word.
anyway, I think regina's an english nerd. her best class is english. she secretly loves it, even if she acts just as disinterested there as she does in every other class. I think she kind of loathes the concept of writing papers but loves getting to research and meticulously explain her very detailed thoughts about things. it's just the actually sitting and writing part that's, like, ugh.
I think she used to make a ton of handmade cards and gifts as a kid, and where her friends LOVED them, her mother in particular was pretty. . . dismissive about it. her dad kept all the cards and sculptures and things regina made him when she was young but her mother often wouldn't. so I think she sort of buried the craftiness along the way. I think, though, that on that note, she has some adult coloring books or some of those paint by numbers or jewel art things in her room for when she's got nothing better to do.
I also think that, in regina's route to self - discovery and self - acceptance, she buys some of those subtle lesbian pride art prints. some that kind of match her general aesthetic. and gets used to seeing the colors of the flag and just. understanding that it's who she is.
I 1000% have more in my head somewhere but I can't dig them up right now. I do hope this is good for now, though! thank you for the ask. <3
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Imagine: you are Idril and you hate your cousin viscerally and this hate is later justified in every way possible. He is a monster and a traitor and as unlike your belovéd aunt as possible. And he dies, and he does not come to the Halls of Mandos and does not reembody. Perhaps you are horrible for thinking this: but you are glad. You are glad he is gone and unable to return. He was a nightmare who crawled into your stainless city and tore it down when it was least expected. He made your father love him, and then he betrayed him, and you will never forgive nor forget it. Now there is no way he can hurt you, your husband, your son, your people– and there is no one he can betray.
and then your aunt reembodies.
Your aunt reembodies and yes, she died for that monster, but she was blameless for she was forced to marry evil and birth evil and love evil. But now she's reborn without those cobwebs of enchantment and you are prepared for her grief and rage over having been controlled. She will not be the same. But she will be back, at long last.
Except. she comes back and none of these things happen.
She doesn't care that her son is evil and treacherous, more his father's son than hers. She doesn't care. She grieves for your city and in the next breath she wishes for her son's return. So you love your aunt and your aunt loves the creature of your nightmares– the betrayer that nearly killed your son and brought your home to ruin. So you love your aunt but she does not listen when you tell her to let her son go because she never saw–
and so your aunt leaves. and it feels like betrayal. like your cousin ruining your family further from beyond the grave.
she still visits, but no one in the family knows where she lives. She is strange– both the steely eyed aunt you remember and yet sometimes she looks like she has never seen you before. you try to break the enchantment that she must be under to keep looking for your Marred cousin, but there is nothing for you to find. all your trying does is send her into a rage the likes you have only seen once before: when she dragged your father away from following your mother in death for your sake.
you love your aunt, and most days, you are sure your aunt loves you.
but you cannot understand her, and in this you have lost her as surely as when she died.
#tolkien#the silmarillion#aredhel#idril celebrindal#maeglin#our long heritage of heresy#in the heresy verse things are so so complicated between aredhel and idril because neither of their feelings about maeglin are wrong exactl#but maeglin being GONE– nowhere in Arda– is really the straw that breaks the camel's back for aredhel#and all idril is seeing is the maeglin issue which is a significant part of it but there's other shit in there as well on aredhel's end!!#my favorite dynamic for aredhel amongst the nolofinwions is that they love her but on a fundamental level they do not understand her#and she loves them back. so she forgives them for it (mostly) and says nothing of it. she leaves when it gets too much#but she always comes back#except reembodied aredhel has had an entire history created about what happened to her after she left gondolin WITHOUT HER INPUT#and BOY did they get it WRONG#and it is SUFFOCATING#here lies my three defining traits for aredhel: 1) she has been mistranslated her entire life from the very first time her mother held her#and said Irissë meant “Desired Lady” instead “Lady of Desire”/“Lady who Desires”#2) aredhel has little forgiveness and little pity but for those she cares about she will let (minor) mistakes go#(no matter how these little things build up and rot and fester)#and 3) aredhel built the enchantments that hid Gondolin and her craft is threefold: illusions and hunting and always. always. freedom.#apparently no one in her family can understand this. even after thousands of years and her DEATH#and unfortunately for everyone else reembodied aredhel reaches her limit and finally finally snaps#and this looks like it has come out of NOWHERE to the nolofinwions#shit's messy!#<- should be the slogan of Aman#my posts
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The Bet
Part one
Eddie is desperate to talk to you but will you ever be able to forgive and forget after learning your friendship was nothing more than a bet? Especially as you had fallen in love with him.
Do you still love him after all that anguish?
Part two.
Warnings: A lot of angst and you'll see..minors shoo! 18+
Don't copy, translate or repost my work.
❤️
A bet. That's all you'd ever been to Eddie, a bet to get one over on your now ex boyfriend, on Jason and the rest of the dark side as Eddie's friend had put it.
Had they spent this whole time laughing at you? Did Eddie get some kick out of stringing you along, stealing your heart piece by piece.
Was everything just a lie?
You had broken up with Bryan a week ago. Sick of his horrible nature and drawn to Eddie, head over heels for him. God you felt like such a fool.
The night you found out about the bet you cried yourself to sleep, walking to school on autopilot. Thank goodness for your friends because you struggled to get through the first day.
Mostly everyone was sympathetic but there was some people who sniggered when you walked past, whispered to their friends only it was so loud that you could hear.
I can't believe how gullible that idiot was
Imagine knowing the freak only got close to you for a bet
Serves that bitch and all the rest of Jason's idiots and the cheerleaders right for thinking they are so hot.
About time someone took them down a peg
Each thinly veiled barb cracked your already bleeding heart and you hurried to get away from the gossip.
It trickled out a couple days later, once the people had finished finding your pain hilarious, how anyone could find someone in pain to be funny was a mystery to you.
Whenever you saw Eddie you rushed away before he could speak to you, wouldn't look at his face because all you knew from him was lies.
Everything was a lie. He didn't love you, he never did. Your heart throbs with that realisation and you do your best to walk around school, head held up high and the heartbreak tucked up inside.
It was all an act but you were a great actor, you had to be to pretend like you weren't in agony on the inside.
...
It was the worst few weeks that Eddie could remember in a long long time, Dustin was disgusted with him and took a long time to talk to him.
His heart felt like it had been ripped in half and it was all his own fault, you wouldn't even look at him.
If he even attempted to try and speak to you it was to no avail.
The longest sentence you uttered was when he begged you to talk to him, even just one word.
All you said was ''goodbye Eddie" or that ''you didn't believe a word he said"
Steve picked you up from school with Robin every day, wouldn't even let Eddie go near you. Threatened to beat the shit out of him if he made you cry again.
He tried to speak to you again a few days later when Steve had eased up on guarding you, it was agonising weeks of you avoiding him.
You were coming out of cheer practice with Chrissy and another girl, Chrissy glared at him and the other girl looked like she wanted to kill him.
"Can we talk please, princess?'' he pleads and you ask your friends to give you a second and they do, very reluctantly still scowling at Eddie. He deserves that.
"I can't Eddie. I don't have anything to say to you" he swallows, his mind going a mile a minute, trying to think of what he can say to express how sorry he is.
''I messed up. I made a stupid mistake. The worst mistake, because I hurt you. I made a dumb bet to try and get back at assholes who bullied and made my friends and my life hell, it was mean and selfish and I wish I'd never done it" you listen to what he has to say and his heart aches when tears pool in your eyes.
"But you did do it, you couldn't even tell me the truth. You lied to me Eddie and all the time I was...I fell in love with you" he moves forward to cup your cheek, desperate for you to know that he loves you too.
"I love you, I fell in love with you and that's why I couldn't tell you. I couldn't lose you" you stare at him and don't speak for a few seconds, when you do the words split his heart in two.
"That's the thing, you lost me anyway" you walk away from him and he can't think of a single thing to say to stop you. Then he steels himself and runs to catch up with you.
"What Eddie?" you snap and he talks quickly, tripping over his words and anxious to get the words out.
"I hurt you badly, I fucked up and what I did was just fucking awful. I know that. I also know that I'm so in love with you, never thought I could feel this way for anyone but you snuck into my heart and it belongs only to you" you don't say anything but you don't rush away either, so Eddie says one more thing before you do decide to leave.
"I'll wait for you sweetheart, for however long it takes. I don't care how long I have to wait, you're worth every single second"
Tears pool in your eyes and you nod slightly. Ever so gently you squeeze his hand just a tiny bit then walk away, leaving Eddie determined as hell to win your trust again and maybe somewhere along the line your heart too.
💕
It took a while for you to even speak to Eddie for longer than five minutes, but he was nothing if not determined and patient, he's was not screwing this chance up.
At first, you didn't think Eddie was serious about waiting for you, but he was. Endlessly patient and sweet. Big brown eyes full of tenderness and joy when you spoke to him.
It was hard not to find him endearing, but he had hurt you badly and there was still a small part of you that held back, that was hesitant to get close, trying to protect your fragile heart that ached for you to give Eddie a chance.
It's Friday now and after an intense week of cheer practice, you can't wait to relax for the weekend.
Chrissy had been watching you looking at Eddie with longing, the exact same way Eddie looked at you for weeks now. To be honest it was beyond frustrating, the both of you loved one another, it was killing you both to be apart.
So that's why she was saying something to you today. More than anything she wanted you to be happy, if Eddie hurt you again just even a tiny bit then she would kick his ass.
That's before Steve go there first.
"Honey, what Eddie did was wrong and I'm mad as hell at him but anyone can see how sorry he is. He's so in love with you, maybe you could give him a second chance" Chrissy says to you as you sit down for lunch.
You rest your head on Chrissy's shoulder and let out a sigh. ''I want to, I want to so badly but I don't want to be heartbroken again''
Something tells Chrissy that Eddie wouldn't dare. That he would keep his promise to never hurt you so badly again.
She squeezes your hand reassuringly and it calms your anxiety down.
"Babe, he wouldn't dare. He's not stupid. Plus everyone might think I'm a sweetheart but I'll kick his ass if he did and Steve would too. Eddie won't lose you, not again"
The words play on your mind all day and when Eddie is hurrying to his truck at the end of Hellfire Club you pluck up your courage and go to speak to him.
"Eddie" the minute he sees you it's like his whole face lights up. A dimpled smile and brown eyes full of adoration greet you.
"Hey, sweetheart" longing fills the air, stifling you both and honestly you're pretty sick of it. So you take a leap, walk up to Eddie and take his hand.
"Would you mind if I asked you for a ride Eds?'' his hand tightens around yours and he grins, rushes to open the door to his truck and almost trips over his feet in the process. It's cute and you can't help but giggle.
He holds the door open for you. "Princess, your carriage awaits" you head inside.
The drive is short and sweet, Eddie once again being a gentleman as he opens the door for you to step out.
You thank him for the ride and before Eddie can head back into the truck, you kiss his cheek gently, then leave a sweet, chaste kiss on his lips.
The kiss leaves him looking dazed, he touches his cheek then his lips and there's that smile again, the one that melted your heart the first time you seen it.
"One more chance Eddie, if you hurt me again thats it. I mean it" he nods, his face serious as he takes in what you say.
"I swear you won't regret this princess, I love you and I'll spend every day proving that, do you... do you still love me?" he whimpers after a few seconds, his expression wide with worry and fear.
"I've never stopped" you answer back.
After your confession he practically does a little dance as he goes into his truck. Just before you open the door to your house, you hear his whoop of delight before he drives off.
The smile doesn't leave your face all night.
❤️
#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson angst
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What's Wrong With A Cliché?
Eddie Munson x Fem reader
Summary: You had never been to a school dance before. So when you find out about the winter formal, you figure your hellfire friends would be just as excited. What you don't expect is to be mocked, especially by Eddie. Eddie loves to tease you, he never realises when he takes it to far. This was he way of flirting with you, even if you didn't know that. But maybe this time he's gone too far, when he might not be the one to take you to the dance.
Content Warning: use of y/n, a lot of angst, mean Eddie, fluff.
Word count : 5k (wow sorry)
A/n: I am from England so I've never been to a dance, so anything I got wrong I'm sorry. Also I know it says fem reader but feel free to change things when reading so it fits you.
Not prove read
You've never been to a school dance before, so when you hear about the winter formal you were so excited. Despite being part of the “freaks” table you lovedressing up. Even if your group leader always teases you about it, you didn’t mind but sometimes he could go too far without realising, but you always tried to be forgiving and not cause an issue. After all, you were a newer member of the group, well you had joined a few months ago but everyone else had longer on you, even the freshman. You figure this might be the one time Eddie wouldn’t tease you too much, everyone went to the prom even the nerds that’s what happened in the movies. You place your lunch tray on the table excited to talk about the dance. They were all talking about a new Metallica album, so you wait until they are finished to talk about the dance.
You pick at your food, resting your head on your hand waiting and listening for an opening to speak, but they don’t stop. You could just talk to them about it tomorrow you thought. Everyone laughs at Eddie’s air drum solo, while laughing, Gareth, who is sitting next to you accidentally nudges your elbow, causing you to lose balance and nearly face-plant the food. The noise causes the table to look at you. “Jesus Gareth you nearly made her wear her food, I know she likes fashion but I don’t know if a sloppy joe top counts as high fashion” Eddie jokes like it’s hilarious, you just roll your eyes.
You expect them to go back to their conversation but now Eddie's eyes are on you he wouldn’t leave you alone. “Why are you so quiet?”. You shrug your shoulders “I was waiting”. Chris looks at you confused “waiting for what?”. Everyone’s eyes bore into you “waiting for you to finish your conversation, I didn’t want to interrupt”. Gareth smiles at you, “you’re never interrupting”. Eddie laughs a little but says nothing much to your surprise. “So what’s up?”. You smile “well..” you suddenly felt a little nervous, so you spoke softly “everyone’s talking about the dance, so I was gonna say we could get a limo or something and all go together or we could go separate if you have dates” you rambled.
The table fell silent. You look around. Had you said something wrong? Eddie shot up from his seat and found his way over to you. Holding onto your shoulders he gestures to the group in front of you. “Sweetheart if you wanted the popular table you are very lost”. You turn around as much as you could with his grip still on your shoulders, to face him. “Huh” you were truly lost what did the popular kids have to do with this? It’s not like you wanted to be prom queen. “God I thought you only dressed like them, now you are starting to sound like them”. Eddie put on a ridiculously high voice and let go of your shoulders to put on a show for his sheep. Skipping around the group to mock you, “Gareth don’t you think I have the prettiest dress? Chris, should I wear blue eye shadow or turquoise? Omg Jeff what about my nails, I can’t go to the prom without my nails done. Freshmen will you vote for me to be queen” the boys laugh (even the freshman, but mostly because they want to fit in not because they agree), like this is the most hilarious thing they have ever heard. He finds his way back to his seat “don’t be a cliche y/n”.
You felt a lump in your throat and you knew tears were about to pour. You didn’t want them to see you cry so got up from your seat, “see you at hellfire” you say, leaving the cafeteria. Gareth being forever the caring one looks at Eddie, “you took it too far”. He put his hands up “I didn’t force you all to laugh”, the group looked guilty. They thought it was friendly banter they didn’t think you were being serious about the dance. The hellfire club and school activities didn’t go together, so they didn’t know this was different for you. They had never had a girl in the group, they were still learning.
Gareth looks at Eddie and then the group “yeah and I shouldn’t have. I can admit when I’m wrong, can you?”. Eddie raises his eyebrow at the boy. No one questioned the dungeon master, so honestly, Eddie was surprised and kind of impressed, not that he would show it. “Watch it” Eddie sternly told the boy. Gareth rolls his eyes at Eddie, well this was new. “If she wants to go, one of us is going to have to take her”. The boys grumble, “shall we draw straws, shortest has to take her?”. Gareth hit his friend in the arm “grow up Jeff, is it such a bad thing to take a pretty girl to a dance? Jesus I’ll take her”. Chris kicks the boy’s leg under the table, he whispers harshly at him “don’t be a creep. You can’t call her pretty” the way he says this, is like it’s some kind of taboo subject. Chris looks to Eddie to back him up, who stays quiet, looking like he is contemplating something.
Gareth kicks back “you know just because she’s our friend doesn’t make her any less attractive. Plus I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just saying it’s not the worst thing. I swear to god you’re all like freaky freshmen”. Dustin and Mike look over to the conversation they had been trying to stay out of “hey!” Gareth looks over to them “no offence”. Eddie suddenly slams his ringed hands on the table, to get control and order back. “Enough! If one of us has to take her it’s gonna be me, that’s the job of the leader to take one for the team, right?” He looks around the table. “But you all owe me.”
Gareth was right Eddie thought there was nothing wrong with taking a pretty girl to a dance especially if it was you. He didn’t know you actually wanted to go, he was only teasing if you had only asked. He might have grumbled but he would have agreed eventually. He always teased you, and you always took it, never said anything, sometimes your hands would ball into tiny fists and you would have a little pout which Eddie found cute which he wouldn’t admit because finding things cute wasn’t metal. But he didn’t mean to upset you. Maybe asking you would make things right, even if that meant putting his pride on the line. He couldn’t do it straight away, he thought, because then it would seem like he was doing it because he felt bad.
You had a free period now, where you were working on a history project with Ross, who sat next to you. All you could think about was Eddie’s impression, did you sound like that? You didn’t realise you were daydreaming until Ross clears his throat, “you okay?”. He was always so kind to you. which made it easy to talk to him, and right now you needed someone who would listen and not judge. Especially if he cares enough to ask if you’re okay. “Is wanting to go to the dance, stupid?”. He wasn’t sure if you were making a joke or not, but from the look on your face, you were serious. “It can’t be that stupid if everyone goes. I think it’s nice” you sigh in relief, you aren’t weird “exactly!” You realise you’re too loud, looking around and apologising. “it’s just I’ve never been to one before and I thought it would be nice”.
Ross put his hand on yours trying to calm you “it will be” he smiles. He blushes as your hands touch, he’s had the hugest crush on you since you started school a couple of months ago. He moves his hand realising he’s being too forward, especially since he assumed you have a thing with Eddie. “For some people, it will be. I don’t think it’s gonna happen for me anytime soon.” You start doodling in your notebook, you don’t want to cry again over this so you try and distract yourself. “What?”
You keep your eyes on the book in front of you, while speaking “well I don’t exactly wanna go alone and I know like 7 people and since none, of those, are gonna ask. I think I’m gonna have to give it a pass”. Ross thought you and Eddie would have gone together, otherwise, he would have at least tried to ask you. Surely Munson wasn’t stupid enough not to ask you, he thought, but he had to Clarify, “not even Munson?”.
You look up from your notebook laughing as if it was the funniest thing you’d heard all day. It might have been “not even Munson are you kidding? could you imagine him going to a dance? You should have heard him when I mentioned it to everyone. I swear sometimes that boy can be so mean”. You shook your head at the thought of lunch, and focus your eyes back on the paper in front of you. “so you’re not going with him”. You didn’t need to keep being reminded you weren’t going to the dance, you understood he was just showing interest and that he cared. But you were sick of this and especially sick of talking about Eddie. “I am absolutely not going with Edward Munson”. Ross smiles goofily at you, not that you can see as you are too distracted trying to get the shading right on the eye you were drawing. “Good”. He says You look at him thinking you heard him say something. “I’m sorry about the dance”. You give him a light smile, he was a nice guy, even if he didn’t know when to stop with questions. “it’s fine, shall we get on with this?”. He picks his pen up off the table “sure”.
You went to hellfire that night but hardly said a word, the boys tried to apologise, it didn’t feel that sincere but at least they knew to apologise. “We’re sorry,” they say mumbling, “we didn’t know how much it meant”. It was nice that they said sorry but it didn’t make you any less upset especially when Eddie refuses to apologise. What you didn’t know was he was overthinking to the max, how was he supposed to say sorry? Would you believe him? If he started being nice would you realise he fancied you, which meant you could reject him? So with all these thoughts going around his head, he kept quiet. Figuring asking you in a few days would show he was sorry.
Two days later, You were starting to put the whole dance thing behind you, well you were trying but it was hard when that was all anyone in school was talking about. Even the boys had started to talk about it to you, which felt like a slap in the face if none of them were going to take you. You had your Walkman on listening to a mixtape Eddie had made you full of his favourite bands Metallica, Dio, Black Sabbath, a few others and your favourite song “come on Eileen”. He told you he did this so you would listen to the tape, at the time you wondered if Eddie liked you as you liked him, but over time you learnt from how he teased you, he saw you strictly platonically, you were just one of the guys. So whatever feeling you thought you had got ignored.
Walking up to your locker you notice a flower in the vent, surely this was put in the wrong locker. You get closer and pull it out to inspect it, looking at the flower confused. You were sure you had never told anyone what your favourite flower was, maybe it was just a coincidence. It was probably a cliché flower that all girls like. That's all you thought were after all. A tap on your shoulder pulls you out of your thoughts. You turn around and see Ross with a huge bouquet of your favourite flowers with a little white teddy nestled in the middle. Other people are watching in the corridor including Eddie and Gareth who are talking at his locker. Upon the sight, Eddie clenches his fist the knuckles going white from the pressure. You smile brightly at Ross, he was a good guy, he must be trying to cheer you up after the other day you thought.
“oh my God, those are beautiful. They are actually my favourite” you say with glee. Ross looks at you with admiration “I know that's why I got them” he says while handing them over to you. You can’t help the rosy hue that comes on your cheeks. “ you shouldn't have but also thank you”. You say while hugging him, careful not to crumple the flowers “what are they for though?”. The boy rubs his neck awkwardly, hoping you couldn’t tell how nervous he was “well I guess partly an apology for not asking sooner and for assuming you already had a date” you couldn't understand what was happening. nothing like this had ever happened to you.
“Do you wanna go to the winter formal with me?”. You froze, could this be happening? Were all those tears worth it, now you were getting to go the dance. Someone wanted to go to the dance with you, they didn’t have to be forced. So in your head with your thoughts, you didn’t even realise you had left the boy standing there awkwardly waiting for an answer. “It doesn't have to be a date if you don'-“ you cut him off, realising you took too long to reply. “well I hope it’s a date, otherwise you got me all excited for nothing”. You can’t stop smiling at the man in front of you, was he always this handsome and you hadn’t noticed? His eyes widened, he couldn’t believe his luck the girl he liked wanted to go out with him, “So that's a yes”. You nod your head “that's a yes”. He can’t help himself, so he hugs you tight, wanting to kiss you with happiness but knowing that was too forward. “Thank you” he whispers into your ear making you giggle.
Eddie had been getting angrier the more he watched the scene in front of him. How dare he touch you, or make you laugh, or buy you flowers. He knew he was torturing himself watching, but he couldn’t look away. Steam might as well have been coming out of Eddie’s ears with how mad he was. However his friend at the side of him had a completely different complexion on his face, he was merry, and he loved seeing his friends happy. “well looks like she didn't need our help after all”. He joked to Eddie, not yet seeing how annoying he was, as he too couldn’t keep his eyes off the scene. Silence, he expected Eddie to make a signature witty remark, or laugh or something, anything but there was nothing. He looked over to his friend who looked as if he was going to beat someone up. He tried to fill the silence. “At least now your Saturday night is all free. Dnd session?”.
Eddie still couldn’t take his eyes off the sight, now glaring at not just at Ross but you too. Completely ignoring anything his younger friend was saying. Gareth couldn’t understand why he would be so annoyed about this, now he had his evening free. He never wanted to go to the formal. The only reason he would be this annoyed if he fancied… oh it now all made sense to the boy, the constant teasing, wanting to be the one to take her, always wanting her around. Never shut up talking about her. The school bell rings signalling the start of class, so you leave a parting gift of a kiss on Ross’s cheek. This was the thing that set Eddie over the edge, he stormed off in a huff, almost forgetting Gareth was even there.
Since that day you and Eddie had hardly spoken in fact, Eddie had hardly spoken at all. Which was very strange of him. You stop mentioning the dance as you knew it was a sore spot for the group plus now you had a date to talk to about all the details. Who didn’t seem to mind how long you talked about dress or plans for the night, he just liked hearing you talk. Despite how happy you should be, Something was keeping you awake at night, maybe it was nerves, who knew but you felt like something was missing.
You are Walking hand in hand with Ross through the gym doors, in your pink simplistic but beautiful dress with your date with a black suit and a pink tie. For once you felt like you belonged in this school, you weren’t the awkward girl who couldn’t get dates. You were a beautiful teenage girl going to a school dance with a handsome boy. Cliche or not, you were happy.
You danced to all the cheesy music on the dance floor with Ross and his friends until your feet ached. It was fine when it was a slow song because you could hold on to Ross for support but now it was faster music you knew you need a rest. “I need to sit down”, Ross nods leading you to a table near the dance floor, he went to sit down with you. You shook your head and held onto his arm to stop him, “dance, have fun. I’ll be fine. I’ll be back in 10” you smile. He didn’t want to leave you but how could he say no when looking into your beautiful eyes.
You looked around the room, everyone looked so nice. They had transformed the gym surprisingly well, you would never be able to tell there were kids doing laps around here only 48 hours prior. There wasn’t any drama tonight, it’s almost like this one night everyone just wanted to celebrate and didn’t care about social standards, which was nice. You didn’t realise how many standards have been changed until you spotted the last person you’d expect to be here with a cheerleader. She wasn’t one of the most popular cheerleaders but she was still part of the group, he said he despised. Who’s the cliché now you thought bitterly. You shook your head, you had no right to be mean just because he didn’t want to go with you. You supposed he could go with someone else even if that hurt to admit.
The cheerleader huffed at him and walked away, that didn’t take long. You didn’t know what he said but she was pissed. He was your friend, so hurt or not you had to go and check on him. You walk over to him. He looks up to see you walking towards him, he thinks he must have died and gone to heaven because the only way to describe you was angelic. He was such a fool for not asking you, he knew that now more than ever. He really liked you, and he wouldn’t deny that to himself anymore. Not when you were that perfect and not even just look-wise. You sat down in the plastic seat next to him, be cool he told himself.
He looked handsome in his black shirt and black jeans with his hair in a low bun. It was nice seeing him outside of his usual attire, you wanted to tell him how nice he looked, but this look wasn’t for you it was for her. “So Chris talked you out of the blue eyeshadow?” You joke to Eddie. He was beyond confused, it didn’t help that he couldn’t think straight when you look that beautiful. You soon realised he didn’t have a clue what you were talking about, A situation which has been tormenting your thoughts for weeks and he couldn’t even remember it. “Your flattering impression of me” you joked like it didn’t still kind of sting.
Eddie sunk into his seat at the thought of that day, he should have just asked you as soon as you mentioned it instead of teasing you. No, he should have asked you as soon as the winter formal was announced. Why did he have to have the Munson curse of stubbornness? He looks at you sincerely, a twinkle of sadness in his eyes “I’m sorry”. You are shocked, so you bring the back of your hand to Eddie’s head, the action causing Eddie’s heart to beat. It felt so loud he wondered if you could hear it. “Are you okay? You’re acting strange, first the dance and now you’re apologising. You must be sick”.
He laughs slightly moving your hand from his face hoping it will help his heart to stop, but it didn’t. “Sorry is in my vocabulary, it’s just I don’t always say it when I should. Also I knew I would end up here one way or another”. You gave him the strangest look, maybe this wasn’t Eddie in front of you, he certainly wasn’t acting like the man from a few weeks ago who thought a dance was the most stupid thing he had ever heard of. “What?”. He shrugs his shoulder like what he was about to say was the most casual thing ever “ just not who I thought I’d be going with”. Surely he wasn’t talking about you, no he couldn’t be. He probably meant someone else. You thought your crush on him had stopped, but the world was really testing you tonight.
You couldn’t possibly look at him right now, so you scan the room for his date. “yeah, maybe you should have at least taken someone you like, even as a friend”. He nods, he was gonna shoot his shot, he had already fucked up so he surely couldn’t anymore. “Well, I was planning on taking you so…”. You choke on air, he wasn’t making any sense, had he gotten high before this, was that why he was acting like this? “you wouldn’t stop telling me how stupid it was, that I was a cliché”.
He played with the rings on his fingers, both of you avoiding eye contact with each other. “Yeah, but looking at your face, when you left. I kind of thought I had to”. He wanted to slap himself, why was he so awkward, maybe it was better this way never truly confessing how he felt stopped him from getting hurt. “Well turns out you didn’t have to”. You say signalling to your date. You're happy, who was he to get in the way he thought. But his mouth was quicker than his head and he spoke “true. But if he didn’t ask, I would have taken you”.
Whatever this game was, your heart couldn’t deal with it, you needed the Eddie who teased you back, he was easier to read than this one who wouldn’t even look at you. Maybe if you start it, he would come back with one of his quick remarks. “I wouldn’t have wanted to go with you anyways, you would have been telling me how lame and stupid it was all night. And you'd complain about having to wear a shirt” you joked, lightly hitting his arm hoping he would look at you.
No, you had the completely wrong idea about him, being with you wasn’t a chore, he would have been lucky. He needed you to know that. “I wouldn’t have. I would do anything to make you happy, so if that would have meant spending a night dancing to terrible music and having to wear a shirt. I would have and would have been happy.” He finally glances up and truly looks at you. “I’ll always do anything for you, I hope you know that”. You had never seen the look on his face before or maybe you had never noticed. “You look beautiful by the way, I’m sorry that should have been the first thing I said”.
Now you were the one with heart problems but you had the added problem of butterflies. You were gonna be sick, this couldn’t be real. You had a date you weren’t allowed to feel this way about someone else. Someone who is your friend, someone who also has a date. You needed to get out of there before your heart took control of your actions instead of your head. “I should probably get back to Ross”.
He felt his heart shatter he always knew you’d have to leave, but for you to go back to someone who should have been him, hurt. “Yeah, of course, have a good night. I'm probably gonna head home early”. You shook your head even if that might have been easier for your heart. He had already come with a pretty girl, who you were sure was nice if he decided to bring her. So even if you couldn’t have him, you didn’t mind as long as he was happy. “Give her a chance, you never know you could enjoy yourself if you keep your mouth shut for two seconds” you joke and walk away to find your date.
If that’s what you wanted he would listen, even if all he wanted was to dance with you. So he went in search of his date, Alice. He found her sitting glumly on a bench sipping punch, he sat down next to her. She deserved better than this, cheerleader or not. “I’m sorry, we should be out there dancing and I’m here pinning over someone who doesn’t even like me. I’m truly sorry, you deserve better than Edward Munson”. She shrugs her shoulders “I knew you didn’t like me, it’s my fault”. He couldn’t hurt someone else, she did not deserve this. “No I’m the stupid one here, you’re beautiful, and any guy would be lucky to have you. I’m just unfortunately stupidly in love with someone else”. Alice held his hand to comfort him, he was trying to be honest and she appreciates it. Not many guys she knew, did that. “Have you told her?”. He laughs a little at the thought. “No, I missed my chance”. He signals to you on the dance floor with Ross, swaying to a slow song.
You felt like you could cry but that wasn’t fair on Ross. You should be happy, he was so lovely, he was good for you. Ross couldn't help but notice the eyes of Eddie that were locked on you from across the room. He look at you smiling, he wasn't the guy you should be with he knew that now. Especially when he could see the hurt that lay beneath the fake smile you wore. “Was Eddie okay?”. Of course, he saw that “yeah he’s fine” how were you supposed to describe what happened? “I like you y/n I do, but I’m not stupid. You like him”. You want to deny this, so you try to stutter out a response but you can't form words. “It’s okay, I understand, you can’t control your heart. You both like each other, so just because he’s stubborn doesn’t mean you should be”. You kissed him on the cheek, god he was nice. “Thank you, you don’t hate me right?”. He smiles “I could never hate you, plus it would make history pretty awkward”. He jokes.
Ross looks over to the bench where the cheerleader and freak were sitting. “Now there’s a girl over there who looks like she needs a dance, hopefully, you can help the other one to finally smile”. He left to walk towards the pair. Eddie saw Ross walking over to them, was he mad? Had you told him what he had said? Did he go too far saying you were beautiful? He didn’t want to fight but he was ready to defend himself if a punch was thrown. Ross reached out his hand, and Eddie flinches waiting for impact. But nothing, because Ross’s hand wasn’t meant for him, it was meant for his date.
He held his hand out expectantly “do you wanna dance? I kind of got ditched by my date.” Alice nods and got up to dance with him. Before she left to turns to Eddie "tell her" and with that, she left. Were you okay? Did you ditch Ross, because of Eddie? Did Eddie upset you again? He didn’t want to ruin your night. You sat on the bench next to him. There was a beat of silence what would you say to each other? You were the first to break the ice. “You look beautiful too by the way” you smile at him. “Thanks” heat rises to his cheeks. “I’m sorry if I ruined your night”.
You shook your head, “it’s not over yet, so it can’t be ruined, well I guess it depends on how you answer next. Will you go to the winter-“ he put his hand on your mouth. “No I was supposed to ask that. Will you go to the dance with me?”. You licked his hand to get him to move it which worked “does it matter who asked who first?”. He nodded “yeah because I really wanted to ask the girl I like to a dance”. You blush. “Well I really wanted to ask the boy I like to a dance”. Without thinking he grabs your face and kisses you. Taken by surprise it takes you a second to kiss back. When you finally both stop for the air you are both smiling like Cheshire cats. “I wish I would have told you before, then I could have done that a lot sooner”. You nod. “So do I?”.
Come On Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners comeson over the speakers, “are you gonna ask me to dance or am I gonna have to do that too” you joke. He playfully hits your shoulder standing up, holding out his hand to you. “ Would you like to join me to dance to my favourite song Mylady”. You reach out to hold onto his hand. “This is my favourite song”. He shakes his head “ anything that makes me think of you is my favourite”.
#eddie munson#eddie imagine#eddie munson angst#eddie fanfic#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x yn#stranger things fluff#stranger things imagines#stranger things one shot#eddie munson fan fiction#stranger things angst
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𝕽𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖒𝖇𝖊𝖗 𝖞𝖊 𝖓𝖔𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖒𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘.
Ch 10: Yes.
A sequel to Whither is thy beloved gone? (AO3)
After the events of ‘Whither is thy beloved gone?’ Lord Astarion Ancuńin and his consort wife navigate their relationship anew. The ghosts of the past - his, hers, and theirs - threaten to unravel everything they’ve worked for.
Once in a while, right in the middle of a (not so) ordinary (un)life, love gives us a fairy tale.
Professionally edited by @editing-by-night
Read on AO3.
Masterlist
Commissioned from my dear friend Leira Art <3
Astarion’s thigh was starting to get numb. Ban was on her stomach, stretched out beside him, her hands cradling her face. The unfortunate fact that her elbows were digging into his thigh was something she missed entirely.
He’d arranged for a small moonlit dinner in the gardens, just bedding laid over the grass and nothing but the moon and the stars to keep them company. It had seemed like the perfect idea after a long day of trying to broker some sort of arrangement between Shadowheart and the city about the now-abandoned Sharran cloister. Ban had gone to see Shadowheart for this purpose when she’d first come back to Baldur’s Gate; that had been the day the mirror had been delivered. The two had been coordinating in anticipation of today’s meeting ever since.
He sighed and flexed his leg in an attempt to get Ban to notice his discomfort. She shifted along with the muscle, but merely looked at him, smiling.
“You’ll have to move soon, else your poor husband loses his leg,” he remarked.
She lifted from his leg, smirking. “Nonsense. You’re undead. Regardless, bodies don’t work that way; all you’d get is a… spasm, of sorts, which I’m sure you can handle.” She gave him a soft pat on his beleaguered limb, playfully dismissive.
“As enlightening as you think that is, I actually do know what cramps are. Being undead doesn’t save you from that particular torture, as I’m sure you know.”
“Just teasing you,” she said amiably, lying down to rest her head on his thigh instead.
He looked down at her, admiring the way her hair fanned out in a halo around her head.
“Cramps, spasms… you’re all too familiar with such things, aren’t you?” He wrapped his fingers around her bicep, squeezing. “You’ve probably had more than your fair share, flailing about with that frankly ridiculous weapon of yours.”
“Says you.” Ban huffed, glaring good-naturedly at him. “You couldn’t even swing it, Astarion. You and your little crossbows and daggers…”
He laughed, sliding his hand over her shoulder. “You’ll have to tell me how you became so… forgive me, brawny.” Astarion watched her consider the question, eyes glazing over as she brought forth memories.
“After I ran away from my family, I found my way into the employ of an innkeeper, as a barmaid. Not a horrible place to earn your keep; they were kind enough to allow me to live in one of the rooms of the inn. But as in all such establishments, you occasionally get… unpleasant clientele.”
He rolled his eyes. Of course. “And so this was a way to protect yourself.”
“It was,” she agreed, “One day, a customer managed to get their hands on me; before anyone could intervene, I broke his nose. It was mostly a lucky shot, but the innkeeper saw potential in it. They had been a skilled fighter, and decided to pass their skills along to me. Over time, I built a small reputation keeping the peace in the tavern, took a shine to… all that, and eventually received offers from merchants and the like, to help out or provide protection.”
“With a greatsword?” he said, a little incredulous.
“No, although I wish I had. Merely a longsword; easier to handle, but a lot less impressive.” Her hands mimed swinging one, the movement quick and efficient, if inelegant.
His hands covered hers. “You’ll have to teach me how to wield a greatsword one day.”
Her answer was quick. “Not a chance you’ll have the patience for such a slow weapon, Astarion.”
He chuckled. “Truer words have never been spoken. Besides, finesse and dexterity are all you ever need, really.” He twirled their entwined hands, flipping an invisible dagger in the air. She giggled, and he watched their hands against the night sky, dancing amongst the stars.
“This was a brilliant idea. I’m impressed you came up with it.” He peered down at her as she spoke; he’d thought she’d passed into sleep - her eyes had been closed for some time.
“I’m far more capable than you give me credit for,” he scoffed. Since she was not asleep after all, he gave in to his lingering urge and wrapped his hands around her wrists, tugging her off his much-abused leg and up. Spreading his legs, he guided her to sit between them. She leaned against his chest, closing her eyes as he wrapped an arm around her waist.
“Far more romantic is what I would have said,” she corrected, “not that I’m complaining. But this is something that… I don’t know, Gale would have done.”
“Gale?” Astarion scoffed in mock offense, “I can do better than anything he could conjure up. Had you said Wyll, I’d have to admit I’d have a slight challenge on my hands.”
“A slight challenge?” Ban laughed, “It would be quite a bit more than a slight challenge for you to outdo Wyll in romantic gestures, Astarion.”
“Tell me, then. What would you consider the most romantic,” he rolled his eyes, “thing he’s done?”
Ban was silent for a moment, then raised a finger in an aha! gesture. “He gave up his life in Faerûn and followed Karlach to the hells.”
His stomach turned, the comment stinging as it hit sensitive spots. She said it in jest, but there was an underlying truth behind her playful words.
“You truly think I wouldn’t do the same for you?” He was a little piqued, the offense not entirely feigned anymore.
Ban shrugged, failing to sense the change in his mood. “And give up everything you have? Every bit of luxury? Your palace, your art, your suits… the sun? Why would you?” she quipped airily.
A soft hiss escaped him. “I would do anything for you; have already done so, to be frank. I’ve fought everything we’ve had to overcome, have I not? Everything we’ve ever faced. I fought for you, for us - fought our enemies, our companions, the Absolute, my master, myself…” he took a sharp, pained breath, “I have clawed my way through everything for the privilege of being the one by your side. Nothing would part me from you.” He clenched his jaw, his scowl deepening. “If anything, I should ask the same of you. Would you go to the hells for me?”
He watched her face. She barely considered the question and answered quickly - too quickly for his liking.
“I would, of course,” she replied, her tone still light and conversational, as if she didn’t take his statement or his question seriously. She smiled at him, but it did nothing but agitate him further.
Why would she take him seriously? It was hypothetical, nothing serious, even though his words had been from the heart. They’d even been to the hells before, however brief, although that was for thievery and to save the godsdamned world. For a moment his mind flashed to Haarlep, his daggers sinking into that cursed incubus’ flesh, for her, always for her-
“Forgive me for asking such an inane question, then,” he snipped, all mirth gone, “For the longest time I’ve felt… unsure. Of how much you love me.”
He’d always felt it, he realized. From their days on the road - wondering when she’d come to her senses and he’d be left to rot, to the early days of his ascension - wondering where she had gone though her body had still been there, to their eventual reconciliation - wondering if he’d ever be enough for her to love him as he did her. Always doubting, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. He was exhausted.
She blinked, surprised. “Don’t I tell you enough? I love you so, so much. Endlessly so.” He felt her body stiffen in his arms; it merely served to irritate him even more.
“You do say it more as of late, which I find gratifying. Thank you.” The bitterness bled into his voice; not that he’d tried very hard to mask it. “Whether you truly mean it or not remains in question, especially with how you’ve…” he tilted his head in that cold, arrogant way of his, a defense mechanism she hadn’t seen in awhile, “treated me, since we reconciled.”
She finally realized the extent of his pique, that it ran deep, and that her flippancy had reopened the wound. She lifted herself up to meet his gaze.
“Astarion, I… I am sorry. I-”
“Do not apologize, at least not yet.” He took a moment to clear his head; the Ascendant could never be allowed free rein in conversations like this. Never again. “I refuse to hear mere platitudes in an attempt to placate me. I wish for you to hear what I have to say, and should you feel it appropriate, you may do so then.” He was stern but holding the vitriol back. This needed to be said, but it need not be an argument.
“Alright.”
He watched as she pulled away from him. There was a sudden spike of fear there, one that dissipated when Ban stayed within the circle of his arms. She’d shifted just far enough so that she could meet his gaze.
“I’m listening. Say everything you need to say,” she said gently, offering him a nervous smile. She rested a hand on his thigh, giving him a reassuring squeeze.
I’m here. Her mind touched his, something she’d been doing more and more often these days. He let her in, lowered the walls he’d been hiding behind for so long.
“I am aware you love me. How can I not be, when you have shown me so time and again?” A small, rather sad smile graced his face as he spoke. “What concerns me is the intensity of it - rather, the strength and longevity of it, compared to mine.”
“Strength?” Her lips tugged downwards as she considered his words.
“But I… I did tell you. You’re enough. You’re all I want,” she sighed, “But I also know it’s probably not enough - they’re merely words.”
“I am enough, for now,” he corrected.
A small series of thoughts were passed to her: a memory of their argument after her discovery of the contract, moments when he’d expected her to commune with him but instead she retreated, times he’d hoped she’d feed from him and nourish herself with his blood in moments of intimacy, only for her to turn to their stores instead.
“Would I still be enough, were I to displease you again? We’ve discussed this, but I must confess that I haven’t been completely forthright with my feelings on the matter.”
He wanted to tell her how painful it had been; how reminiscent of being punished by his master it was - to a lesser degree, of course, but it opened the same wounds in him nonetheless. He found his heart failing him, unwilling to inflict pain. He wished he could say it but he couldn’t allow it, wouldn’t willingly hurt her, wouldn’t let her even see-
And what of it, if she treats me that way? I can handle it, have handled it for centuries. I’m not worth better; they’ve all drilled it into me - Cazador and his patrons, our companions, even her. She turned away from me when I was lost, shut me out when I tried to understand her, withheld her heart from me until I begged, wielded silence like a weapon when I didn’t behave. Yes, most of that was my own fault, but that merely serves to prove I’m unworthy of it all. Of her.
Just shut up, Astarion. Let whatever needs to happen happen. You don’t-
He felt the air in his lungs escape him as her arms crashed around him and held him tightly, so tightly it felt like it could bruise. He found himself pressed against her chest, realizing she was murmuring into his hair.
“No, no, don’t hide, please,” she whimpered, barely coherent, “You- I didn’t know, I didn’t see, and I know you’ve tried to tell me before but it felt like barbs you were throwing mid-argument. I didn’t want to see there was truth behind them. I’m them, aren’t I? I’m so sorry, Astarion, please.”
He let her hold him, allowed her to cry into his hair, fingers digging into his back with a desperation he hadn't seen in her before. His hands rubbed her back, but he didn’t speak. His thoughts had slipped into her mind as they’d flitted through his, he realized, but he didn’t regret it.
“I love you. I love you so godsdamned much and I realize I’ve been doing it wrong, not loving you the way you deserve. I’ve been neglecting your needs in favor of my own. I’ve been… all of them. Cazador, everyone who ever used you, even my wretched parents. I’m like them - I’ve been being everything I hated in them all and I’m just like them and I should just-”
Her frantic words cut off in a sharp intake of breath and she tried to pull away, her face stricken with horror. Astarion held on, refusing to let her go.
“Don’t go,” he crooned softly, as if calming a skittish animal, “because that would only serve to hurt me more. If you do love me so much then tell me. Show me. I need both in equal measure, my love.”
“I thought I was,” she choked out, “I thought I had been trying. And I’m not sure I’ve succeeded at all-”
She bit back a sob, refusing to allow her words to dissolve into tears. Not right now, when he deserved to hear more than sad blathering, knowing that his first instinct would be to backtrack. The tears came anyway, pooling in her eyes. She took several deep breaths to collect herself before continuing.
“There’s trying, and there’s not trying hard enough. I’ve been the latter; I see your pain and I make attempts in the moment, but then you seem better and I let myself carry on. I slip into old habits and behind walls that are all too easy to hide behind - and I let myself ignore what’s outside those walls.” She laughed, the bitterness evident. “Ironic, I think, that I’ve been doing what you did after the rite. I’ve been hiding myself from you, the way you hid yourself from me. You’ve tried so hard to heal my pain, attended to my needs, at the expense of your own… worked tirelessly at undoing the damage of those early months, and you’ve succeeded… but it was so easy for me to keep letting you do that, to be neglectful attending to you and your needs. To your heart. I will try to be better - No. I will be better. I swear it.”
And there were truths, painful ones, that needed to be said. She steeled herself; there wouldn’t be a better time.
“It has been better,” he assured, “These past weeks have been wonderful; they’ve soothed a lot of the ache. I suppose I merely wanted you to know, and even then I wasn’t sure if it was worth the risk of dredging up.”
“Oh, but it is. There’s something I should have told you, something I should have talked to you about the moment we reconciled, or any one of a hundred times since. I should have told you that although I never stopped loving you, and wanted to be with you again, I didn’t forgive you. That I resented what you’d done to me, resented it enough to keep holding it against you, to measure every good thing you did against the past - and I found it lacking.”
“Ban-” he tried to interrupt, his face a mask of worry, but she shook her head; her eyes begged him to allow her to do what he’d done for her barely more than a month ago. He quietened once more, tightening his grip on her, grounding them both.
“I withdrew at every sign of discomfort; I didn't even really try to trust you more, not outside of our bedroom, anyway… Even as I promised to work on us... I used affection as currency - I saw it as… justified retribution, at times. Not consciously, not deliberately, I don’t think, but neither did I deliberately try to move past those feelings. Even as I speak now I’m only now finding the words for it. All I know is I should have told you this, should have realized earlier what it was I was doing to you. I should’ve been fighting to improve myself, and our relationship, like you were, instead of putting all the burden and responsibility for my feelings and our happiness onto you alone.” She finally let him go enough to cup his cheek.
“We desperately need to learn how to talk, Astarion, as laughably simple as that sounds. Let’s both do what you promised to do for me - if we find ourselves unable to talk it out, we’ll use the connection to think it out, together.” He nodded in agreement and she sighed, calmer now, but no less agonized over these personal revelations.
“I wish I… hadn’t done any of that, or that we had found our way to talking about it earlier, but I also know how… recalcitrant I can be. And of course you feared yet another retreat, or worse, had you tried and it escalated. I didn’t make any attempt to talk about it, and you didn’t feel safe enough to try. We've both spent too long afraid to talk, me fearing compulsion and now you fearing abandonment.”
He chuckled. “On that I cannot refute you, and thus can provide no comfort. On the other hand, not all of my concerns are because of your transgressions, or mine. Some of it is concern about your… former mortality.”
Ban froze for a moment, surprised. “What do you mean?”
“It isn’t a fundamental issue, but if we are to talk about love, and its relative… longevity, even though such a concept is nebulous at best,” Astarion’s eyes flicked away, gathering the strands of the thought he was trying to piece together. “I suppose this is worth bringing into the discussion.”
She saw the way his eyes darted away, locking onto some distant spot; the way his shoulders squared, the bated breath. Even now he tries to diminish his own feelings to avoid upsetting me further. Now that she was watching for it, she couldn't believe she hadn’t seen it all this time - rather, that she had seen, but had refused to acknowledge it, so much so that it had stopped registering in her conscious mind. Never again, she vowed silently.
“What ‘this’?” She was confused, but allowed him the space to think.
He stayed unmoving for a few moments, then finally reached for her mind.
What flowed into her was immense - seemingly boundless stretches of time, of days flowing into months flowing into years, decades, centuries. The moon rising and setting, interminable nights of untold suffering and the rare, quiet moments in between, stretching seemingly endlessly. To her, it felt an eternity - although she knew this was a mere grain of sand in the infinity of time.
Fragments of memories, the earliest of which were mere wisps, lost to the weight of the centuries; then his time with Cazador, bathed in cruelty, a parade of bodies and the scents of rot and sex and filth, blood-red and tinged with pain and fear and anger and self-loathing, all blending together in one massive wave of anguish - then silence.
His year alone, she realized, a small gasp escaping her as he allowed her to see a fraction of how it had felt. The maddening isolation, the despairing, desperate prayers to every god ever named, his fingers bleeding throat raw stomach hollow every muscle aching mind racing and this is it forevermore the four corners of this cold tomb please let me die please-
“Astarion,” she cried out, gripping his shoulder, trying to stop him from spiraling. Those beautiful eyes locked onto hers and to her surprise he was calm. He took her hand, squeezing it.
The memories shifted. The colors became more vivid, the smells became warm and heavenly in comparison to everything else before. The chirping of birds. The smell of grass and earth. Sunlight. Blood from a boar, warm and so, so much of it, and his stomach had never felt so full…
Footsteps, a blade held to someone’s throat. Cautious, hesitant trust. The smell of thinking blood, so close he could lean in and taste it. Laughter. Voices. Her voice. His teeth, sinking in, that first taste forever dooming him to crave it, crave her. Their first nights together, the push-pull of his heart and mind, warring between thinking her a gullible fool and the flickering ember of warmth and affection in his chest.
I want us to be something real.
But not merely real; thiramin - passionate, true, eternal. Nights under the stars. Fighting back to back, daggers and sword flowing seamlessly. Banter by the campfire. Frustration as he regarded her hands, trying to teach her how to pick locks, only for her to give up and smash the chest with one swing of her sword. Those same hands, touching him with an aching tenderness. Uneasiness slowly morphing into trust and then into comfort and then longing, into home. Touch me love me see me be with me, forever and longer than that. I love you, I love you and I will say it, soon, every single day, when I am free.
His eyes left hers, downcast as the memories continued to flow.
Power, as it flowed into him, exhilaration drowned by the look on her face and the disgust in her heart until all he felt was loss and anger, that the thing he loved most would slip through his fingers when freedom was finally his. Regret, still stabbing even to this day. Visions of her face, cold and angry and at times frightened. His voice, commanding, demanding her subservience - on your knees, a finger pointing downwards. The denial of any vulnerability - rebuffing her when she reached for him, admonishment for the attempt. The slow corruption of what was between them.
Astarion didn’t shy from it, his hand merely tightened on hers. The stream of recollections didn’t stop, but his eyes flicked back to hers.
The agony of losing her, the hopelessness, the emptiness. The slow process of prying open his heart once more, at first nearly impossible and then increasingly easy. The sheer joy of seeing her smile at him again, her face emblazoned into his mind. Memories of more recent, happier times. Elation mixed with spikes of anxiety whenever she retreated from him - confusion, worry, fear. And finally, the slow ebbing of those feelings, contentment suffusing more and more of the final visions, the doubt ever-smaller, more easily brushed away.
And then she was seeing through his eyes, he through hers, here in the garden with no other soul, only the stars in the sky. One last feeling - love - and he retracted from her mind, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
Ban snapped back to reality, to her own mind, reeling. In front of her Astarion looked fond, his hand still cradling hers, waiting for her to settle before he continued.
“A long time to live, and I am still young for an elf,” he began, “I would assume the weight of it infinitely more burdensome for someone as young as you, from a short-lived race.”
She nodded. “I wouldn’t contest that. Were I not turned, I would have died within the century.”
“But you will not,” Astarion reminded, “I am merely concerned about your capability of loving steadfastly, long past the normal span of your lifetime. The constancy required for a love that spans millennia, that follows us through reincarnations… It is something elves are born with. It is not so for humans. I simply… wanted to bring it to light.”
“Astarion,” she said, voice tinged with hurt, “Just because I’m human doesn’t mean I will fall out of love with you in a century or two. No one can know the future, but I swear to you - I will love you for however long this-” she gestured between them, “-undeath lasts, love you the best that I am able. Eternity, if it comes to that.”
Ban weighed her words, weighed the visions he’d allowed her to see. “I know I can’t prove anything today. The future is never set, and I’ve hurt you. I have no idea how to measure our love, to even consider if they are things to be compared against each other-”
“They are not,” he assured her, “But I appreciate that they have now been spoken out loud. That I am understood, seen, and that you do not disagree.”
“If that’s the case, I can promise to continue comprehending. To… see you, fully, even when it’s uncomfortable for me. To understand, to do better. To listen and care, and love. To work toward your happiness as much as my own. To fight for us, always. I can’t prove it today, but I will prove it. From today, until forever.” She made this vow without hesitation or reservation, and with utter sincerity.
Astarion smiled at her, a soft, almost hesitant smile, one that told her she’d soothed a lot of his heartache, before leaning his forehead to touch hers. They sat, quietly, absorbing one another’s feelings through their bond.
“Astarion…” She lifted his hand and placed it over her heart as she spoke; his brows raised in surprise. They had spent a long time in heavy but comfortable silence, basking in the closeness of their shared emotions. Hearing her speak aloud nearly startled him, but he was eager to hear what she may have to say.
She waited until his eyes met hers, until that slight surprise passed into curiosity. He held her gaze, lips parted as if to speak.
“Let me get this out,” she interjected before he could respond. His lip quirked, eyes narrowing, his brows shifting into an expression of wry, if fond, amusement.
Ban locked her gaze onto those beloved crimson irises, ignoring everything else. If she considered any more of his beautiful face, she was sure her courage would fail her. She’d been thinking about this, had been considering it for a long while before the mirror, before her family came back into their lives. She had lain awake thinking of it as she was cradled in his arms, had almost spoken it into being numerous times in post-coital bliss or in quiet, happy moments. It had never been quite the right time - something had always come up - whether it be some small quarrel they had, some playful remark that derailed her line of thought, or simple cowardice. She’d let her lingering doubts serve as excuses, but the idea never went away for long. This finally felt like the right time, to finally fully open herself to him, to let her faith and love and trust shine through in actions, as well as words.
She felt her hand shake, tears threatening to blur her vision, and swallowed hard.
“I figured I would say this sooner or later, or if I’d kept letting my cowardice win then later than sooner, to be frank. It’s been on my mind for…. Well, I’m not even sure how long, but it’s been a long time. It first crossed my mind that it would make sense, politically - legally it would make sense as well: properties, assets, all that - and no one would question the legitimacy of our union, would solidify alliances and our good standing, and-”
Her words were cut off by a soft laugh. He leaned in, keeping his hand over her unusually fast heart, and pressed his lips to her forehead.
“Keep going,” he urged, his tremulous voice filled with a hunger she barely recognized, and although he was smiling, his eyes were misty and intensely focused, as if not a single other thing existed in the world besides her, and him, and this moment. “I think I’d rather like to hear what else you have to say.”
She couldn’t stop the tears from flowing, so she gave up trying. Taking a deep breath, she whispered, “I love you.”
“I’m aware,” Astarion responded, the picture of patience. “And you’re well aware of how much I adore you in turn.”
“This isn’t… politically it does make sense,” she said again, knowing full well she was repeating herself. “But I don’t want you to think that, I- I’m not doing this because it makes sense. It- that’s not it, and I’ve just been thinking it and it’s not that, do you un-”
This time it was his lips on hers that interrupted her, a soft caress that was unhurried and filled with nothing but reassurance. He held the back of her head, keeping her close. She allowed herself to melt against his parted lips, allowed his tongue to slip in and explore her, but he barely dipped in before retreating. He didn’t speak, merely gave her a small nod, thumb wiping away a falling tear.
She took several deep breaths, collecting her thoughts as best she could; she was appalled how much she had fumbled it thus far. “I’ve thought about saying it so many times, and in just as many ways. When I was lying in your arms, when I’d made you laugh, over meals, when we talked about our plans, even when we argued…” She shook her head. “Gods, even before that. I fantasized about it that first night in the clearing - stupid and naive, I know, but there it is. It just kept popping into my head, ever-present, always a wonderful daydream that I daren’t speak into existence. I was afraid I’d ruin it.. I knew… I knew it would seem cold, calculated, because there is so much benefit to our goals in it, and I didn’t want it to be for that. I didn’t want to say it when you might think it was only about that, because it isn’t, not at all. And then the time never felt quite right, and I was so scared of making you feel it was cheapened by politics…” She sighed, pausing again to gather her courage.
The words finally managed to leave her mouth. “I want… forever. I want what you wanted, all this time. To be real.” Another shaky breath, and she saw the smile on his face fade, replaced by an eagerness framed with such tenderness it almost broke her. “I was your first. I want to be your last. I want you to marry me. Say yes, please.”
“Ban,” Astarion chuckled. It was a soft, wet sound, his sniffling ruining the intended effect. “You merely had to say ‘will you marry me’ and it would have sufficed.” He flapped a hand dramatically. “You could have gone with some quip, like ‘if you turned me into your bride, why don’t we make it real’ or some comment about how I already call you my wife…” He trailed off as he realized she’d begun to sob, shoulders shaking.
“Love… yes. Of course yes!” He shook his head at the utter idiocy of this moment, of how she’d assumed, even for a moment, that he’d refuse, as if all that babble wasn’t just his own nervousness coming to the fore, the old theatrics a way to defuse strong emotions. He pulled her to him tightly, pressing her to him, his joy overwhelming him as he felt her return the hug with just as much strength.
Yes. Of course, yes. Astarion recognized it for what it was - a large step - and felt joy suffuse him. I am seen, chosen, cherished, loved… I am enough! Everything he’d wanted and had ever needed, condensed into the being of this magnificent person he held in his arms. He pulled away to peer at her face and she shied away, cuddling deeper against him, as if she could stay there forever to avoid his prying eyes.
“Darling, your tears will stain my shirt,” he chided, as if he wasn't crying himself, tears streaking all over his own face. There was a muffled sorry and she let him go, her hands moving to cover her face; he was quick enough, however, and caught her wrists.
“There’s no need to hide, nor cry for that matter,” he murmured, blinking his own tears away. “This is a happy moment. We’re to be wedded, for real this time - not that it matters, really,” he scoffed. “I’ve considered us husband and wife for, gods, I don’t even know how long.” That made her smile, at least, and she finally opened her eyes, although she hadn’t looked him in the face yet.
“Do indulge your to-be-husband, Ban. First, don’t enlist a cleric to officiate the ceremony. I won’t stand for religious prattle. And second, I want to be wed quickly. No more than a month.”
“A month we can do. As for the other, I was thinking Ulder might help us,” she finally said. He blinked in surprise, impressed.
“So you have planned this,” he mused. “You figured you could pull favors from dear Wyll’s old man, get a wonderful ceremony, and consolidate political influence, all in one fell swoop.” He clapped his hands in amusement. “I’m impressed.”
“Well there was also the fact that I get to marry you,” she quipped, eyes still pointedly staring at his chin instead of his face.
Astarion placed a hand under her chin, tilting her face up. “I know,” he murmured. “I know all too well.”
He leaned in close, slotting his lips against hers. This time he didn’t pull away, allowing the kiss to intensify. He waited for her to part her lips then pushed his tongue in, tasting and devouring. Finding a fang, he pressed his tongue against it, longing for her to taste him.
When they parted he was breathless, eyes locked onto her face. “How long have you been considering this?”
“A while,” came the answer, spoken hurriedly as he pulled her on top of him, lying back onto the dewy grass. “After the clearing, it was a daydream - a silly, romantic wish. I first thought of it as more than a fantasy, in terms of the political benefits, shortly after we reconciled, but of course didn’t really think seriously on it then. In terms of when it became something I definitely wanted, for myself - for us… When we had the ball to celebrate our first year. I could see us doing that, but instead of celebrating an anniversary, it would be our wedding.”
“Then why not ask me earlier? That was months ago.” He shivered at the feeling of her lips pressing against the base of his ear; Ban was obviously seeking to correct previous shortcomings. He felt her trail a small path of kisses across his jaw, and then the underside and down his throat. He sat up a bit, propping himself up on his elbows, baring his neck to her, a plea for her to continue. “Did you think I would be so foolish as to decline forever with you, when that’s all I’ve longed for?”
“I thought you would find the ceremony involved trite; like you said, you already obviously considered us wedded,” Ban said. “I also didn’t want you to think it was merely a political move. I didn’t know how to make it romantic and not… pragmatic.” There was a quick pause and then her lips were replaced by fangs, cautiously scraping against his skin, far more hesitant than he would have been. The sensation sent a wave of delight straight to his groin, regardless. “I apologize that I haven’t been feeding from you. It’s not you. I- it’s taken a long time to be comfortable with what I am now.”
“Forgiven.” Astarion purred as her hand wrapped around his nape, guiding his head to the angle she desired. Fingers caressed the curls at the base of his neck, sending more shivers racing along his body. He’d known of her issues coming to terms with her undeath - he’d been hoping learning how to use her powers would help finally ease her into it. That being why she rarely sank her fangs into him was a significant relief, chasing even more of his concerns away. “It is trite,” he admitted, a small sigh escaping his lips as he pressed his hips against hers. “As much as I do agree - doing so will solidify your legitimacy as my partner, afford you more respect, provide a wondrous opportunity to host a grand ball, provide ample chance for mingling, and bind us together in a new way, one that I want very much. I am no fool; I am not incapable of knowing both can be true at the same time.”
“I know you’re not. I just didn’t want you to-”
“To be hurt,” he agreed, placing a hand over his chest dramatically, the effect significantly lessened by the fact that he was painfully hard. The comfort at her openness, in the acknowledgment of his hurts, the balm of her promises, the all-encompassing joy of their engagement, the pleasant weight of her straddling him, grinding against him, the press of her fangs against his neck… It all blended, forming an irresistible cocktail of desire. “Darling. I’m touched. A little insulted you’d think me that incognizant,” he chuckled as she huffed at him, “but very, very glad you have thought of me - worried for me.”
“That being sa-'' he began to say, but the words were aborted in favor of a low, undignified whine as her fangs finally found their mark, sinking into his neck. Pain and icy coldness spread from the pinprick wounds as she drank - rather clumsily in his opinion - the pain quickly followed by pleasure. His hips bucked as her fingers gently traced the edge of his ear. “You- ah- might want to suck and then swallow, instead of… whatever it is you’re attempting to do.” He shifted to center his cock against her, allowing her to feel all of him with every grind of her hips.
Ban opened her mouth to snap out a retort, forgetting to lick the wounds to stem the flow beforehand. Blood gushed and she swore, tongue immediately latching onto his neck to seal them shut.
Astarion snorted. “Messy, Ban. Whatsoever would you do if you actually did have to drink someone dry? You’d have half of it spill.” He took a look at his shirt and sighed. “There’s also the fact that you ruined my sh…”
He cut off with a groan, her wicked tongue lapping harder at his neck, sliding down to his collarbone, licking the blood that had pooled there. A soft snap heralded his shirt being torn open, buttons flying off in every direction, baring his chest. There was another sharp flash of painful pleasure as she nipped at the hard planes of his chest, nicking him slightly above a nipple; he opened his eyes to see her licking at the small rivulets of blood.
“Fuck the shirt,” she said, eyes glinting mischievously. “I want you to forget everything but my name.”
He swallowed, his skin feeling a little too tight, and his cock gave a long throb at her words. He was rather taken aback, surprised by the uncommon forwardness; he delighted in it, in fact. “You’ll have to try harder than that.” Not that he thought she’d have a hard time of it - Ban knew him as well as he her, and all she had to do was place her finger-
But that wasn’t a finger, was it?
She’d slid up his body again, pressed a kiss against his lips - quick and hurried - and before he knew it she’d taken his ear into her mouth, sucking it once. Hard.
The sensation was gone as soon as it came - wet and hot and tingling all around his ear, almost overwhelmingly intense for that split second. He whined at its loss, hips violently jerking up against hers, cock straining against his trousers.
There was want, there was need, but there was also desperation.
“You utter…” He shook his head. “Where did you learn that from?” More, he thought, I need more.
Ban laughed, pulling away to shoot him a wry grin. “A couple of suggestions from friends, here and there…”
He groaned. “Shadowheart?”
“Perhaps.”
He felt her hand snake down, wrapping around his clothed length; his hips canted upwards of their own accord to meet her, seeking friction. The other hand traced an ear, tongue swirling around a nipple and gods he refused to come like this, at least not tonight…
“That’s quite enough.” There was no bite in his tone - he thought it impossible at the moment - but she paused long enough for him to lean her back until she was underneath him. One long, hard thrust - pressing his cock against her, fabric the only thing between them and oh gods he could feel how wet she was - and he pulled away enough to flip her over.
“Was it too much?” She propped herself up, looking at him over her shoulder with careful, slightly concerned eyes. Astarion shook his head.
“On the contrary; I want more of it, much more - but later, else this won’t be a long enough nor a worthy enough encounter for our engagement night.” He considered her, laid out in front of him, eyes and body beckoning to him. “On your stomach, darling,” he whispered, pleased at how quickly she obeyed, lying flat and resting her head on her hands, the muscled expanse of her back and ass presented to him. He ran his hands up the back of her legs, slipping under her dress, fingers digging into each ass cheek before rucking the garment up and off, tossing it to the side.
She turned to look at him, amused. This he matched with a wry grin of his own as he sat up and made a show of stripping off his trousers - slowly undoing the laces, hooking his fingers under the waistband and tugging them down inch by painstaking inch to reveal pale, perfect hipbones, running a hand over the tented outline of his cock, causing her to bite back a moan. She knew Astarion was fully aware of how he looked: bloody shirt torn open, wounds already closing, grass in his hair, cockhead finally slipping out of his trousers. He stroked himself again, eyes locked onto her.
“Hurry up, you tease,” she admonished, rolling her hips to briefly lift her ass up in the air.
He didn’t need to be told twice. Trousers and underwear were roughly tugged down and kicked off. He crawled towards her and she began to spread her legs in anticipation, but he stopped her with a gentle touch. Guiding her thighs back together, he slid his legs on either side of hers. He grasped himself as he shoved her underwear to the side, sliding across her folds, rubbing himself against her.
She watched him throughout all this, her look of amusement changing into one of lust. He gave her one last smug smirk, then slowly sank inside her; the position made the fit deliciously tight, but she was so wet he slipped in without difficulty, burying himself to the hilt. They both groaned when his balls pressed against her.
He leaned forwards, palms gripping the small of her back, thrusting into her. Utterly perfect, that tight, wet, heat that was taking him so well, the feeling of being home. His thrusts gradually lost their slow pace as his self control dissipated. With every stroke he could hear her moan, feel her clenching all around him in an exquisite rhythm that was only her, could only ever be her-
He wrapped his hands around her waist, urging her to sit up. He sent an image over their connection, showing her what he wanted, and she had to bite back a moan of anticipation. He knelt as her legs slipped out from under him, watched hungrily as she straddled him, her back arching against his chest as she slid down onto his length once more. Her ass was pressed wonderfully against him and she began to ride him slowly, gliding her hips languorously, keeping him deep inside her. He rolled his hips up into her, working with the rhythm of her movements, slipping a hand lower to part her folds and find her clit, tracing circles in a slow but insistent pattern.
“Astarion, I love you,” she groaned out. “I’ve always loved you. Have always wanted you, longed for you, needed you. You… you deserve everything - love, happiness, the world. I haven’t been the best at giving it to you, but I swear I will. I’ll love you and cherish you and choose you, over and over again, in every lifetime and beyond. My life didn’t really even start until you. You were my real beginning, my future… you’ll be with me at the end, and for every step in between. You’re the part I’ve always been missing, the half that makes me whole, the other half of my soul. There’s only ever been you, there will only ever be you.” She was babbling, words spilling freely, words she had kept behind walls for so long.
Words he had always needed to hear. Words that only fueled his desire and joy, that brought tears to his eyes and drew a whimper from his lips, hips thrusting faster in response. What he had hoped she’d be to him for so long, finally reciprocated. In her own words, yes, but very much the same. He breathed the words out into their bond, hoping she understood.
My thiramin. Finally. My very own. I’ve waited for you for so long.
They both sighed, both overwhelmed by the headiness of the moment, their bodies moving in unison. Their grinding gradually began losing rhythm as they both approached their peak, the quiet gasps and groans becoming more urgent. His hand snaked up her body to her neck, fingers wrapping below her chin to pull her head back; she felt him press his lips against her pulse, then replace them with fangs.
“I should show you how it’s done,” he purred. “How to bite perfectly, to suck, to swallow, to lick.” Each word was accompanied by the action itself. A small nip, enough to break skin and draw blood, then pleasant suction, and then loud, exaggerated swallows, accompanied by moans of satisfaction breathed right beside her ear. In conjunction with those talented fingers on her clit and the unhurried rhythm of their lovemaking, it was almost too much, but she never wanted to stop.
She leaned into his touch, arching her back and neck to give him even more access. Tangling her fingers in his curls, she tugged, urging his head forward. He followed her lead, eyes closed. She could tell he was close, possibly even closer than she was - his short, rapid panting, the now-frantic rolling of his hips, the fingers on her clit losing their tempo - she saw it all, saw her husband lost in her, lost in his pleasure and joy, and she intended to give him more.
He was pressed tightly against her, jaw digging into her shoulder as he drank from her neck, his eyes roved down her body, watching everything. He was so focused, so lost, he didn’t even register her movement as she shifted to wrap her lips around his ear again. She took it in and gave a long, firm lick and then a sudden suck, swallowing as she did.
She felt him come before she heard it - the sharp, hard jerk of his hips, the sudden, violent slam of his cock so deep inside her it bordered on pain, and the fingers on her neck tightened, overwhelming her with sensation. His loud, whimpered gasp followed a half a heartbeat later, quickly chased by his low, guttural moan as he spilled inside her. The feeling was so intimate, so delicious, so perfect and she came undone as well, clenching tightly around him over and over as their joint pleasure took them both.
Perfect, his cock buried in her, her spasming around every inch of him, his fingers working her through their orgasms. Suddenly, their minds linked, each reaching for the other at their peak, reveling in the joy and the love and the overwhelming pleasure the other felt. Her clit, his cock, his hand on her neck, her fingers in his curls, his ear between her lips, her nails digging into his thigh - every sensation mixed together in a golden spiral that was magnificent and wonderful and beautiful and euphoric and consuming and it was everything and then suddenly it became too much. They instinctively drew away from the contact, the edges of it having become too keen, leaving them both overstimulated, overwhelmed, and a bit delirious.
Their bodies slowed in unison and they collapsed into each other as the last waves washed over them. She leaned heavily against him; he released her neck and held her close.
“That,” Ban said, licking her lips shakily, “was new.”
“Far newer than even you intended,” he agreed. “I however found it glorious - both things, in case you were wondering.”
Ban nodded. “That last thing we’ll have to use sparingly, I think. I…” she sighed, feeling lightheaded. It was amazing, far more intense than the time they’d melded minds while touching themselves before their reconciliation. Remember, Ban, openness, she admonished herself. She found it easy to do, suddenly realizing the lack had been more a force of habit than any actual need to hide, for awhile now. “It was amazing, much more intense than when we shared our pleasure from afar.” Her voice was quiet, almost distant, her mind struggling to retain thoughts in the aftermath.
“Agreed.” Astarion’s voice cut through the haze in her head, and he slowly repositioned them, turning her in his arms to cradle her in his lap. She could see him peering at her, the concern in his gaze obvious. “Are you alright?”
“Oh yes, just a bit adrift, like my mind is more exhausted than my body. I do think I’ll need a break after this, though,” she admitted.
He hummed softly, thoughtful. “Perhaps it would be a good time to bring back that idea we had - that little game we wanted to play. We agreed on a tenday, yes?”
Ban chuckled, tickled even through her exhaustion. “I’ll do you one better. Not until our wedding.”
“Not until-” Astarion cursed. “Gods. You are evil, you know that? You give me the best meal of my life and then decide on a month-long fast - evil. Unmercifully, unrepentantly evil.”
“It’s a yes or a no, Astarion.”
He smiled, seemingly pleased at the prospect despite his complaints. “It is not unprecedented amongst elven mates, to fast in this way, for long periods, to heighten the pleasure…” he mused, a devilish smirk blooming at the thought. “I’d very much like to see how intense things can be after a month’s respite.”
“Yes, or no,” she pressed.
He laughed. “Yes, darling. Yes to everything.”
To every question she’d asked today, to every one she would ask from this little game to eternity - yes.
Bonus: Was listening to this song while writing this chapter!
Taglist: @tavamarie @ayselluna @enterthedreams @coltaire @qiific3 @misscrissfemmefatale @vixstarria @eatyourheartoutmylove @micropoe10 @thegoodwitchs-blog @akirahime @velcyrptr @i-cant-get-into-my-other-account @babblebrain-blog @asterordinary @last-but-not-the-least @artist4theworld @gracemisconduct @decedentcoffeewizard @rootin-tootin-n-kind @pursuitseternal @youngtacobanana @krispeenuggiez @girlygmer-blog @cheezits4lyfe @vinegarjello @the0ldmann @wisteriaofthegraves @midnight-musings-of-nyx @toni-winchester @icybluepenguin @beepersteeper @hereliesblackdragon @generalstephkenobi
#astarion#astarion baldurs gate#baldurs gate astarion#bg3#bg3 astarion#astarion fic#astarion x tav#astarion ancunin#astarion bg3#bg3 fanfiction#astarion fanart#astarion art#astarion ascended#ascended astarion#vampire ascendant#ascendant astarion#soft ascended astarion#ascended astarion x f!tav#ascended astarion x tav#astarion fluff#astarion fanfic#baldurs gate 3 astarion#astarion x mc#baldurs gate 3#bg3 art#bg3 fanart#bg3 spoilers#bg3 fanfic#bg3 fic#bg3 fan art
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Thoughts and pictures - S3E1
So after digesting my first watch a little bit, I'm starting my rewatch of this season and I'll share a few thoughts and reactions (and screenshots) because I can't keep it all to myself 😱
I was happy that we dived directly into the (sort of) trial and confrontation between Wilhelm, Simon and August. I do wonder how much time passed between the speech and this scene though.
It sets the tone for the entire season for Wilhelm: he's gonna be alone, with no support whatsoever from his parents. He enters the room alone, his parents arrive after him and his mother doesn't even look at him... Simon arrives with his mother and August with his stepdad. But Wilhelm has to deal with the situation alone (aka how to get incredibly mad at Kristina barely 5min into the season 😤)
Simon looks so pretty and so sad. (And how did Omar manage to look even younger this season??) He wants to be done with this whole thing. Also I checked but 1.2 millions kronor is not as much as I thought it would be (it's apparently around 107 000€, which is not bad, but I was expecting more)
I see what you did there Simon 😏 (Can someone gif this scene and put it in parallel with Wilhelm seeing Simon's room for the first time and saying "cozy" in season 1? :p)
The boys coming back to the meeting: very smooth. Nobody knows what you were doing. Nop. Not at all. (We can see Linda kinda smirking when Simon sits back whereas Kristina looks like she just ate a very sour lemon). Wilhelm arranging his hair and Simon smiling at him: they might be in the middle of an important meeting and at the Palace but they're still 2 teenage boys in love (and I love them for that 💜)
Rickard looked and sounded like such an idiot in the previous seasons that I didn't expect him to actually be competent! But I guess we were mostly seeing him through August's eyes... I know Rickard said he was the best lawyer in the country but I have to admit that I thought he was just bragging ^^'
Also: August is such an asshole. Did he really need to rile up Wilhelm like that? He's got quite the confidence to attack him and tell him how he just fuck things up on his own, in front of everyone like that, including the queen. Who, again, is not defending her son!! She tells them to shut up but she says nothing to August for talking like that to her son 😠
(They look like they've been called to the principal office). Kristina doesn't look at them immediately, she looks at Erik's picture on her desk first. Then she looks at August. And then finally at Wilhelm. She is so awful to him this season... Right from the start. And then she breaks down crying for Erik.
While Wilhelm holds her. I wasn't expecting to see her grieve so much this season. We didn't see that at all in season 2. Is it because she repressed all of her emotions too much? I hate that she breaks down like that just after Wilhelm publicly coming out. How can she not be there for him. I get that it must be hard to lose a son, but she still has a very alive one, who needs her.
Kristina is not getting redeemed in this season but Linda kinda is! I was super happy to see her get in mama bear's mode at the trial ^^ It was about time!! But here: I'm sorry Linda but it's not your son's role to keep you updated about what's going on in your house! You're the mother! Stop putting everything on this kid's shoulders!! Maybe he never tells you but do you ever ask??
Simon being truly angry at Sara is so good. I am so happy so he's able to feel that way and to not feel like he has to repress it, to forgive her, to help her. She did something truly bad and he's allowed to be mad. Also look at his angry lil' face 💜
In things that made me laugh: Wilhelm's reaction and face to learning that Simon is grounded all semester xD He was talking all smoothly/flirty and then his tone changes so dramatically when he realizes he won't be able to get his boyfriend in his bed very soon! Horny boy is horny (and frustrated :p)
This faaaaaace ☹
I'm happy to see that Simon still has Ayub and Rosh here to support him. I wish they would have told him that replying to comments online was a bad idea though. You know the saying kids: don't feed the trolls!!
Wilhelm looks like such a normal teenager when he gets back to his room. First time we see him so carefree. It breaks my heart to know that on the other side Simon is so unwell already.
Wilhelm waking up happy and smiling. And being just a teenager (for the first time in a very long time): thinking about his boyfriend, redrawing the heart on his hand. It's such teenager things!! My boy just wants to have a normal life... (And then he's immediately reminded that he's actually not just a regular teenager with Farima's text).
Simon's worried face when he asks about Wilhelm's initiation. You can see he's truly horrified at the idea that he might have gone through what's been described in the article.
And then it starts: the piling up of everything on Wilhelm's shoulders. First his mother looking really unwell and breaking down (even though she hasn't been said to be officially ill yet), and now the negative impact of his speech on the school... Which Vincent takes great pleasure in reminding him about.
This first episode is really good at setting things in motion. We see already the beginning of what's gonna go down during this season: Simon not feeling well, dealing with online hatred, struggling with his new place next to Wilhelm in the spotlight. And Wilhelm trying to finally live a carefree life at school with his boyfriend now that he's officially out but slowly getting crushed under the pressure of his role as Crown Prince and the increasingly obvious lack of support from his parents.
#Young Royals#Young Royals season 3#yr S3E1#Wilmon#Prince Wilhelm#Simon Eriksson#my little thoughts#I really liked the episode#but Simon is breaking our heart right from the start isn't he?#Omar and Edvin are incredible actors#and I truly don't know how Omar can look even cuter and younger this season ><#sorry for the long post#please let me know if I should put it under a cut?#I'm thinking of writing my thoughts for each episode this week#watching each episode again but more slowly#while writing up little thoughts and taking screenshots#is pretty nice#and makes me feel like now I can also go and enjoy what other people have written ^^
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Lena Luthor x Reader #3
Summary: Lena breaks up with Reader to keep her safe from Lex. Reader hatches a plan to get rid of him that goes terribly wrong, and naturally, torture follows. This mostly takes place after she’s found again.
Warnings:
Angst,torture, depression, trauma, childhood trauma
Notes:
Hey! I’m going about writing differently now. Everything I write from here on out will most likely be straight from the tumblr drafts and fairly quick. Something I decide to do in a random sitting (unless it’s paid for). Fair warning that this isn’t that, this is just something I worked on ages ago and didn’t publish. I did NO SPELLING CHECKS and remember writing at 2am, so warning number 2
———————
Lena loathed the DEO in that moment. She loathed Alex, and she loathed Supergirl , and she loathed every damn agent in the building so that she didn’t have to loathe herself instead. It’s not enough, there was still a small part of her that she couldn’t ignore, a part of her that screamed; ‘you should have held on. You should have been there’
She knows she should have been there. She knows she failed you before anyone else did. She knows. But she’s trying now and she doesn’t know how to get it to matter to the world. Trying won’t save you, and trying hasn’t led you back to her.
Trying has only led you there, far from Lena, laying somewhere unknown with a body and a heart too worn. Though, Lena imagines, that’s probably not a new feeling for you. She trembles with the image of Lex mocking her on video, holding a gun to your head, she trembles and thinks, I’ll kill him. I’ll kill him.
Then, miraculously;
“Found her!” Winn shouts loudly, raising his Supergirl action figure in victory, and Lena, CEO, multibillionaire, crumbles in relief in front of dozens of agents in the middle of the DEO.
—-
When you wake up Lena feels her heart stop.
She wanted to kiss you, hold you. She wanted to be the type of person that stayed. She wanted to be the type of person worth staying for.
She wanted to believe the both of you would be okay, and she wanted to hold your face and tell you that. That you’d be okay. She wanted more than anything in that moment to be the type of person that said the right thing. That did the right thing.
She wasn’t. She wasn’t any of the people she wanted to be. Your eyes met hers, full of sorrow, and human and hurt, and she wasn’t. She wasn’t because she was scared, and because she was human also. She wasn’t—so she leaves.
Now, as she’s gripping herself in the hallways of the DEO, struggling against the weight of what feels like worlds on her shoudlers, choking on breaths that should have been being shared with you, she’s filled with so much self contempt it could fuel the whole government. Whoever said that “It’s better to have loved and loss, than to have never loved at all”, has never met the two of you and has never loved this desperately.
Loving you made her feel just as much as losing you had, and is it worth it? Maybe, but It’s certainly not better to be feeling this than not ever feeling it. Can’t those things coexist? Can’t it be better for her to never love, but can’t loving also be a choice she’d make despite all the pain?
Can’t you love the things that will destroy us in the end? Doesn’t she always?
She should go back in. She should go back in and ask for forgiveness, but the fear of ruining things further, of the both of you hurting each other further, prevents her from trying to fix things.
When she broke up with you she had just wanted to protect you from Lex. Losing you like that would have nothing compared to—
Lena shivers, shakes her head, and clutches onto herself more tightly with trembling fingers.
“You’re hyperventilating,” Alex says from where she’s leaning against the wall beside Lena. Her eyes are watchful, careful, but Lena feels them like daggers.
She straightens, forces out a; “wow, you really are an amazing analyzer, detective,” and nearly gets a smirk for her troubles—but Alex is too soft, too caring to give her that. She moves towards her, ever the big sister, but Supergirl rushes in first.
“Lena,” Supergirl—Kara, Kara, Lena thinks, and often starts to forget, except when Kara looks at her like this—breathes out.
Lena steps back from them both, the humanity in the room tears her apart, reminds her of her lack of, and destroys her. “You have to…to warn people when you do that…super speed thing,” Lena grits out, cutting Kara off before she can even begin to try and be…be good. She gestures towards the room with shaky hands and begins to try and compose herself lHow long was she awake while I was asleep?”
Kara and Alex look at each other. Say nothing. “Guys—”
“She woke up two hours ago,” Alex says, at the same time Kara says; “you were wiped out—didn’t even hear the nurses, of course we couldn’t just wake you up”
Two hours, and she was asleep. Lena goes cold instantly. She remembers hearing Lex had you, remembers it like one remembers the worst moment of their life; both intimately and not at all. She remembers hearing Supergirl had you—that you were breathing , but people only say that when someone is very not okay, and Lena remembers the way adrenaline had rushed through her. She had felt both alive and utterly useless through it, and it sticks to her even now.
Alive, but asleep, never the person she needs to be to protect you. How alone have you felt because of her? How scared?
“Lena,” Kara starts again, “Lena, she wanted you to sleep— ”
“Go in there,” Alex cuts her off, gets a very annoyed look for it, because they both can’t seem to help cutting each other off today. “You want to show her she’s not alone, that she’s safe? I promise you that the only way she’ll feel that is with you there.”
Kara nods, suddenly straightening and transforming into Supergirl just like that, just in the stance. “Hero complexes will serve nothing except separation and loneliness. You taught me that. Stronger together, Lena.”
Wanting to save you had left you alone, and yes, alone to Lena meant away from Lex, but he’s not the only scary thing in this world, and she should have known that he’d never forget how to destroy her. To leave you alone, Lena thinks, was the worst thing she could have done.
While you were away Lena had to confront herself. Had to realize that so far, every good thing in her life has come with a cost, has led to ruin, and the threat of Lex…it had just seemed to her like the time had come. Like it was her only option. To sacrifice, to sacrifice and hurt.
If Lex had won by separating the two of you, then he had one like that. In her mind, Lena had already been destroyed, of course she imagined that to be the end of it, that he wouldn’t touch you. She’d rather hurt by pushing you away than you dying. Even the thought—
God, she’s so tired of being a coward. To being so scared of losing you that she’s willing to destroy you both.
Kara and Alex hating what she’s done in the unspoken way that they do hurts even more in a way Lena’s used to, because it hurts like regret. Their stances have turned from concerned and loving, to protective heroes. She should have never left you alone. Not when she was scared of Lex, and not now. She gives both Kara and Alex a firm nod and tries to walk past to get into the room. To make things right.
Kara stops her with a hand on her shoulder. She drops it instantly when Lena turns towards her. Ever the fragile hero, always afraid of her own hands for the strength they hold. “Before that…” Kara coughs awkwardly, “Um…we need you to understand her injuries…and what happened.”
—-
When Lena walks into the room, it’s not like you thought she would. She’s not the fragile human curled up in a chair, or the terrified women fleeing your medical room. She’s angry with rage and a whirlwind of feelings, caught in a tornado of emotion. She’s large in the way she’s always been, and yet it has never left you feeling so small.
You sink back into your hospital bed, pull the covers to your chin, and watch her.
“You went after him?” Lena hisses out, so lowly, so sharply, that she might as well have cut the words into your skin for the way that it dig into you. “Everything I’ve ever done is to protect you, and you just decided to throw it all away like it means nothing? Do you have any idea—”
“You were protecting yourself!”
Lena stops. She was pacing, shaking with emotion, but she stops dead in her tracks at the sound of your voice. You yell it, and yet it’s still somehow silent. Your throat is ruined, a testament to the cruelty of Lex, and the evidence of that and more is written on your skin. You’re covered in injuries. Your brokenness has never been more visible, you think, and it should leave you feeling fragile, and it does, god it does, but right now it gives you power.
Power over Lena, who looks at you like her life hangs in the palm of her hand.
“You think I’m stupid, that I don’t know that every fiber of your being is laced with fear?” You whisper now, hand on your throbbing throat. “You left me for you, and I went after Lex for me.” Its venom. Venom, and anger, and all of the thing you know Lena takes In stride. The thing she strives on.
It hangs in the air for a second. Then Lena, beautiful Lena, kneels by the side of your bed. CEO, one of the most powerful people in this city; on her knees for you. She doesn’t look invigorated, doesn’t looked fueled by anger, just looks sad with regrets.
“I did it for me,” Lena agrees, so soft, so not like them; not like her family. “I did it for you, too. Of course I did it for you, and maybe it was a terrible thing to do—led by my trauma talking to me—but don’t lay there and deny I wasn’t thinking of you,” she breathes, then pauses, eyes tracing your busted lips, bruised face, bruised neck. Her jaw trembles and her lips part, she looks as if she wants to say more, but her eyes are haunted by the home she grew up in.
As if reading your mind Lena whispers, “they haunt me. It’s as if I can never let go. I’m so sick of it. I’m so sick of it.” She closes her eyes with furrowed brows, as if not looking at you will prevent the shake in her voice. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. For them. For them now, for them back then, and for them in the future—if you still want to be in my life, you have to know I can’t escape them. Even when they’re not there they’re there. It…god, it makes me sick.”
When Lena raises her hands and grips herself, digging her fingers into her skin like she wants to pull the trauma and memories out of herself, like she wants to get rid of them, something in you breaks. Breaks because your arms are raw and aching, and it wasn’t Lex. Breaks because you know so intimately what it’s like to face reality and find it so frustratingly unchangeable. To want so much, and for it to mean nothing is the most devastating thing.
To be so large, and so small.
You’ve been crying, and Lena doesn’t notices until a sob falls from your lips. You’ve been trying to hold it in, but when she startles up at it and looks at you with that same wanting, like you’re her heart walking and she’d give anything to take your hurt, the sobs break through like a dam. They break through and it hurts because there is no part of you left unbroken.
When you sob it disturbs your broken ribs, disturbs the bruises covering your torso, rips at your tarnished vocal cords, and has the machines in the room beeping so loud it alerts the nurses.
—-
Lena doesn’t even have time to stand before the nurses rush in and pull the blanket off of you. There’s no words to describe the shift that happens in side of her when she sees the extent of your injuries.
It’s like something both breaks and rebuilds in her, and then breaks again, paralyzing her. Then, she sees a nurse heading towards you with a syringe and it activates her.
“Don’t fucking touch her,” Lena says, or thinks she says. She can’t recognize the venom in her voice, doesn’t feel apart of her body.
She’s moving in between the nurse and you, but your sobs begin to bring her back to reality.
“She needs to be put under, she’s hurting herself—”
Lena doesn’t pay attention to her, just sees Alex and Supergirl enter the room. Sees the way Alex shakes her head and nods to the corner of the room, and follows in suit while every fiber of her being says to do otherwise.
It kills her that she can’t protect you. Can’t protect you from the nurses that you try to pull away from, can’t protect you from the hurt on your skin, or in your heart, couldn’t protect you from— she thinks of Lex. Lex when he was her big, smart older brother that she admired more than anyone in the world.
She thinks of the way he’d give her a cheeky roll of his eyes behind Lillian’s back after a small verbal lashing. Thinks of every chess game, every hide n seek game, every reassuring grin. You’re smarter than they know Lena, he’d say, and she’d beam, not noticing the progressive darkness in his eyes as he said it.
Her eyes don’t leave you as the nurses put you down again. She thinks; I’ll kill him. In her peripheral she knows Kara is watching the floor, and feels Alex watching her. When the nurses cover you back up and they both turn towards you, Lena knows it was out of respect for you. She’s grateful for it—somewhere in her thunder of emotions she’s thankful for them, but also feels a bit of anger towards them.
This is why they kept her from seeing you when you were brought in?
“Why doesn’t she have a hospital gown?” Lena asks in a whisper.
“She took it off, said it hurt when the nurses moved it, and that it was sticking to her. Constricting her,” Kara explains, she sighs, shakes her head, and then turns towards Lena as Supergirl. With a fire in her eyes.
The same one in Lena as she allows herself to ask the very question she wanted to run from hours ago. “Where’s Lex?”
“No.” It’s both Supergirl and Alex.
“Alive then? Okay,” Lena starts towards the door. “If you’re here, he’s here. I’ll find him easily enough.”
Supergirl, familiarly, stands in her ways. Eyes sympathetic next to Alex’s hardness. “Where are you when you’re with them?” Alex asks from behind her. When you let them guide every bad decision you make, she hears.
Lena stops. Thinks about control, about gods, about leaving you to wake up alone again, thinks about murder, both in her blood and not, thinks about Lex with a gun to your head, with fists, and kicks, and a maniac smile, thinks about her dad in the same way—standing over Lex while Lillian gripped Lena back. She thinks of cycles, thinks of protection and all the ways it’s possible, all the ways she’s capable, more capable then him.
Smarter, Lena remembers Lillian saying casually. Always smarter than.
Better than, Kara will say.
The good one, Alex will joke.
My hero, you’d grin. Lena feels herself split. Starts forward again.
Kara whispers now, “Heroes don’t kill, Lena.”
Alex, “it’s both the best and most terrible thing about us.”
Us.
Lena wants to yell, wants to crumble, wants to curl by your side, wants to kill Lex with her bare hands, wants to erase the Luthor history from her mind, from her body, wants to erase it from yours even more. Wants it so desperately, so acutely it hurts. Sadness fills the room, suffocates them all.
Kara is watching you again, Alex keeps glancing back, they’re both unconcerned about Lena now. Full faith in her to be who they claim she is. Lena returns to the seat by your bed and allows herself to be that person.
“Whatever cell he’s in, I’m building it,” Lena whispers, thinking of the cuffs she’ll put on him, wondering if she can somehow slow down his mind.
Alex nods, running her hands down her face. The past couple hours have completely exhausted her in a way Lena’s not used to seeing from her. Alex cares so much about you, and it shouldn’t surprise Lena but It does. “We’re thinking about sending him to the phantom zone.”
Here, Lena is more surprised. They must know that’s a death sentence. Lena glances at Supergirl, she’s still watching you but she’s clearly listening, her eyes have turned hard. They aren’t underestimating Lex. They clearly know the responsibility that’ll bear on them if he escapes again.
Lena feels another bought of gratitude towards them as she takes your hand, and trusts them to handle the person she trusts no one to handle.
——
When you wake up the second time it’s because nurses are dapping you with wet cloths, clearly trying to clean you. They apologize profusely, say they thought the drugs would keep you down longer, and offer to finish the cleaning after you’ve gotten more pain killers.
Your eyes dart around rapidly, chest constricting in anxiety, and then you see Lena. She’s standing by the door, clearly trying to keep out of the nurses way. She’s not full of rage and untouchable in that way, and she’s not fragile, she’s strong.
Her eyes are hard, but not cold. They’re determined, and loving, and they’re your strength too. You suck in a shaky breath, whisper; “thank you. Later might be an option”, as you try to focus on Lena and not the thought of the nurses hands on you turning into Lex’s violent ones.
When they all shuffle out Lena quietly returns to the spot by your bed. This Lena somehow makes you feel more fragile than angry, furious Lena had, because in the place of your defensiveness you’re left to feel your guilt.
“I’m…I’m not weak, Lena.” It feels stupid to claim now as you lay in a hospital bed feeling nothing but. You clench your jaw. Lena’s hand reaches up and takes your chin, forcing you to meet her eyes. She’s not gentle, certainly not rough, but her firmness gives you the power to continue. She’s the stable ground that helps you find your footing.
You find it. Meet her gaze unblinking. “I’m not Supergirl, I’m not you, I’m not Alex, or Jon, or Winn, or James, or Kelly, or— or Lex…I’m not capable in the particular ways you guys are, but I am capable.”
Lena’s eyes fall to your throat. You grip her wrist, the one holding your face, and her eyes meet yours apologetically. “I know,” she says, so softly, so quietly. “You being here is the evidence of it, isn’t it?”
You nod, but you aren’t done. “I’m not sure what Supergirl told you. Clearly she told you I went after Lex, and in a way that’s true, but more so I wanted him to come after me,” you pause. Lena is watching you with furrowed eyes, clearly trying to piece together what you’re explaining before you finish.
Her lips part after just another moment. She’s figured it out you realize, feeling a bit of pride because of it. Pride because she has faith in you, pride because she‘s so incredibly quick and you have had the privilege to know her so acutely. “All of this…was your plan?” Lena asks, sounding both shocked and not.
You wince, brushing aside her hand so you can look down, adverting your gaze. “Well…not all of it.” Memories flash through your mind. “I thought he’d keep me captive, not…” you left out a frustrated breath, angry, so angry at yourself for not being able to speak about it. Speak about him.
“It was a game to him, of course. He’d torture me, send you a video to torture you. He’d get you chasing him. He’s always liked the thrill.” Your eyes stay on Lena’s fists. Watch as they clench so tightly to her side that they shake. “I knew he loved messing with you, and was partly counting on it, not like that but— but maybe just having me wouldn’t have been enough, maybe it was good he did what he did—got so high off of it his guard lowered.”
“Don’t say that,” Lena pleads. You startle up at the sound of her trembling voice doing everything not to cry.
You breathe in; your ribs hurt. You breathe out; they hurt again. Lena shakes her head at herself, frustrated and biting her lip. She’s having a battle with composure and losing.
“Kara told me how you stole his nanotech and used it to immobilize him. That the tech that was missing from my lab last week was found with the stuff he confiscated from you. That you hacked his computer with my prototype to send her the location to his headquarters underground,” Lena rushes out, “I didn’t know you planned to get taken to his HQ, to steal his nanotech, didn’t know that anyone besides me and the DEO knew what he was working on.”
It’s a quick summary of the things you’ve done, leaving out the weeks of planning, leaving out the struggles of actually setting the plan in motion when the shifting variables shifted in a way you weren’t prepared for. It should leave you proud, but when you think of what you managed all you remember is pain and struggle.
“You stopped Lex like you planned. So many people are saved because of you. An unfathomable amount, and yet,”she says. And yet, you think, heart fluttering because you know Lena will say the very thought that kills you to think of, but the thought that can’t escape you anyways. “What…what you did was monumental, and thank you, but god, I so wish you hadn’t,” Lena breathes. “He gone, and yet he has never been so present. Perhaps you felt the effects of him through me before, but you know now what it’s like to have him really present, always right over your shoulder, and that…I would’ve given the world for otherwise.”
It’s exactly the same thoughts you have had. To hear it from Lena, someone you admire and trust so much, someone you believe to be good with every piece of you, someone you’d follow everywhere—it’s like a medicine for guilt.
“What I said before…about doing what I did for me,” Lena shakes her head, ever understanding, like she doesn’t need you to finish. You do though. “I did it for me because I wanted desperately for you to still be mine, and getting rid of Lex was the avenue for that,” you admit. “I didn’t want him to plague you anymore either.”
You hesitate. Memories of Lena pacing at night—startling awake, watching the news with the grimness of someone attending a funeral—memories of Lena’s affectedness come to you. Her humaneness at hearing Lex escaped again, and in her humanity in her vulnerability.
“I want to take responsibility, so I don’t want to say I did it for you, but what you said earlier made me realize everything is a bit of both. I did it for me, I did it for you too.”
Lena laughs. Laughs. It shocks you, causes you to jump and stop looking at your hand, causes you to meet her gaze again. “Ow,” you growl, unamused, because Lena is still laughing. She’s covering her face and has the decency to look apologetic.
Your ribs hurt from the startle but even you can’t help but be confusedly amused.
“I want to hate,” Lena starts, mirth in her voice, “that you did the thing I wanted you to do least in the world, and you got exactly what you wanted out of it. You captured lex, and in a way captured me back too.”
“Oh,” you perk up, smiling up at Lena innocently. “Guess I’m the brains now, brawn.”
Lena’s eyes narrow at you. “That insinuates that you were ever the brawn.”
Back to glaring. Lena lets out another huff of laughter and brushes your hair back, away from a cut on your forehead. Her eyes are so soft, so full of warmth, and love that you could cry. Would cry, perhaps, if it wouldn’t hurt every part of your body.
Instead you grin, because that’s what humans are taught to do instead of cry, and ask, gently—feeling like a shaky child; “does that mean you’re my girlfriend again?”
—-
Lena’s eyes widen as she realizes what she implied, and as you own up to it so hesitantly, so childlike, like Lena could ever think of pushing you away after everything. Her words, not for the first time today, betray her. All she can do is nod.
Your responding grin is heroin to Lena. You smile so wide the cut on your lip breaks open again and starts bleeding, but you pay it no mind. Lena does. She smiles back, albeit more gently, and squishes your cheeks together to prevent the split widening.
You pout in her hands. Lena’s heart flutters. She keeps getting hit randomly with momentous emotion, and she’s hit again with it now. The softness of this moment feels like seeing a rainbow after months of storms.
You here, alive, looking at Lena with so much love in your eyes, so much understanding. It feels like a fantasy. Feels like a lucid dream, a dream she’d choose, over, and over again, until the end of time.
Lena leans in and kisses you—not on the lips, they are cut and bruised. She kisses you on the space just below your eye. A spot, one of the few spots, clear of visible injury. She takes pleasure in the way you flush like it’s the first time. She always did, will always do. “I love you,” Lena whispers, promising herself that even if there are days you won’t believe her, there will never be a day you don’t hear it.
It’s you, and it’s her, and it’s the mountains of history and trauma you two are fighting against. Lena likes the both of your odds. Loves winning just as much.
You’ll beat Lex she knows. There will be a day soon where he stops haunting the two of you. Where he’s not even a thought. When that time comes you’ll have won the war, but for now she’ll take the pride of winning every battle in stride, for now, in the now; she’ll cherish every moment, the many moments, when trauma leaves the room and love consumes it.
“Lena Luthor,” you breathe. You breathe. “My love, my hero.”
#kara danvers x reader#supergirl#supergirl imagine#supergirl x reader#lena luthor fanfiction#lena luthor imagine#lena luthor x reader#lena x reader#kara x lena#lena luthor#supergirl cw#supergirl fic#supercorp#alex danvers x reader#alex danvers#dc imagine#dc x y/n#dc x reader#dc fic#dcu#dc universe#lena x supergirl#dcu x reader#kara x reader#x reader#x reader imagine#imagine#dc x you#lena luthor x kara danvers
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RIIZE AS TAYLOR SWIFT SONGS
Hey guys, so I saw @///gyuvision doing this and I thought it was the cutest thing ever, she did it so well I couldn't stop thinking about them when I heard music, to be honest I wanted to assign an era to each one but I couldn't decide (except Shotaro, he's definitely 1989, and Anton, he's Lover), so if you like it I’ll try to do that one.
These are songs that make me think about each member when I listen to them, I had so much fun doing this, hope you all enjoy it too!
TW and tags: fluff (?), a bit of toxic!Eunseok, a touch of angst, mentions of first time with Anton but nothing explicit (by the way they’re 18/19), fwb(?)!Wonbin.
WC: 2.1K
Note: This is not dark at all, if you don’t like that kind of content, I don’t recommend you visit my blog.
SEUNGHAN - The Archer
He's been so hurt, and it's even more painful because the people who have been trying to sabotage him are mostly friends, ‘cause all of my enemies started as friends, this song always makes me think of him, and how vulnerable he must feel seeing pictures of his past all around the internet, ‘cause they see right through me, can you see right through me? I see right through me, also, how much he must have felt responsible for the group's reputation, scared of being an obstacle to all the boys and regretting his past, I never grew up, it's getting so old, I'm sure he'll always remember these hard times, I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost, the room is on fire, on invisible smoke, but I hope he learns how to be stronger from this and comes back safely to the group with the same, or a better, energy, combat, I'm ready for combat.
EUNSEOK - False God
Eunseok would give you the most intense love story of your life, with an energy that makes you forget about anything else that isn't him and you two together, I know heaven's a thing, I go there when you touch me, honey hell is when I fight with you, however, I don’t think it’s a love that would last forever, you know it, he knows it, everyone knows it, they all warned us about times like this, they say the roads get hard and you get lost when you’re led by blind faith, and it doesn’t necessarily ends because you two don’t love each other anymore, but because of life circumstances and personalities, and I can’t talk to you when you’re like this, staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town, still, a love like the one you two had was impossible to get over, it doesn’t matter how much you two have tried it, you want to be together again, but we can patch it up good, make confessions and we’re begging for forgiveness, got the wine for you, but you're not good for each other anymore, and you can’t talk to me when I’m like this, daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you, so it becomes unstable, hard to maintain, a secret embarrassing to say out loud to others, but we might just get away with it, religion’s in your lips even if it’s a false god, at least, you two feel satisfied with what you have, because the thought of not being together is more painful than proudly living alone, we’d still worship this love, still worship this love, even if it’s a false god.
SUNGCHAN - You Belong With Me
Sungchan makes me think of friends-to-lovers and mutual pinning, knowing each other all life, you two had to be friends first to start having feelings for each other, I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry, and I know your favorite songs, and you tell me 'bout your dreams, but not daring to ruin your friendship, you try to forget it being with other people, hurting each other in the process, If you could see that I'm the one who understands you, been here all along, so why can't you see?, both of you have unfulfilling relationships with people you don’t love and that do not love you, and you've got a smile that can light up this whole town, I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down, you say you're fine, I know you better than that, you two know it’s not going to work out because you two need each other to feel really happy, I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be, laughing on a park bench thinking to myself ‘’Hey, isn't this easy?’’, so after much time, none of you can deny what you feel anymore, have you ever thought, just maybe, you belong with me?
SHOTARO - Shake It Off
My sweet boy reminds me of this song because he always brings positivity to whenever he is, But I keep cruising, can’t stop, won’t stop grooving, it’s like I got this music in my mind sayin’, ‘’It’s gonna be alright’’, his pretty smile makes you smile too, and even when the others say he can be scary while dancing, he works hard because he wants to give people the best out of him, and his skills are not just from talent, but from effort and passion, I never miss a beat, I’m lightnin’ on my feet, and that’s what they don’t see, he’s actually a pretty brave boy, grabbing every opportunity that appeared in front of him, following his love for dance and moving alone to Korea, I’m dancin’ on my own, I make the moves up as I go, and that’s what they don’t know, he got to work with NCT to then go to Riize, a risky decision that maybe wasn’t a choice to start, just think, while you’ve been getting’ down and out about the liars, and the dirty dirty cheats of the world, you could’ve been getting’ down to this sick beat, he's a strong boy, and doesn’t matter the obstacles that he sees, he’ll always overcome them and appreciate the process, ‘cause the players gonna play, and the haters gonna hate, baby I’m just gonna shake, shake it off, I shake it off.
Extra: And to the fella over there with the hella good hair, won’t you come on over, baby? We can shake, shake, shake, is Shotaro calling Wonbin to dance together, lol.
SOHEE – Fearless
We all know the comments about Sohee growing up in a family that wasn’t as well positioned economically as the other members, I don’t want to confirm it, but taking that into mind, it makes me think that he comes from a place that, if he hadn’t worked so hard, would have made his dream stay just like that, a dream, there’s something about the way the street looks when it’s just rained, there’s a glow off the pavement, and that, apart from liking to sing, his dream of being a start was pushed by himself with the goal of helping his family get a better life, we’re drivin down the road, I wonder if you know I’m trying so hard not to get caught up now, but you’re so cool, run your hands through your hair, absentmindedly making me want you, always remembering where he comes from and all the support he had, he has values not many do, in this one-horse town, I wanna stay right here, in this passenger’s seat, you put your eyes on me, in this moment now, capture it, remember it, he already met his first goal, debuting, and he’s slowly getting used to a different lifestyle, you pull me in and I’m a little more brave, it’s the first kiss, it’s flawless, really something, it’s fearless, he took a hard decision for anyone in his circumstances and he’s finally seeing results, but he doesn’t take it for granted and continues working hard every day, ‘cause I don’t know how it gets better than this, you take my hand and drag me head first, fearless, showing how courageous he is and how he’ll never stop improving, because fear is not an impediment for him, and I don’t know why but with you, I’d dance, in a storm in my best dress, fearless.
ANTON - Cruel Summer
Anton is summer love, seeing each other again after many years, you two can’t remember how you used to look when you were younger, enjoying meeting as if it was the first time again, but this time, you can’t just be friends anymore, killing me slow, out the window, I’m always waiting for you to be waiting below, doing new things, things you never imagined before, you enjoy exploring a different side of yourself, devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes, tanned skin, friendship bracelets, the ocean and ice creams in the middle of the night, everything is pure pleasure around you two, what doesn’t kill me makes me want you more, everyone tells you to be careful, because summer will have an end, and you know it, so you decide to get the best out of it, sneaking out and having as many experiences together as possible, It’s cool, that’s what I tell ‘em, no rules, in breakable heaven, stealing cheap beers and whisky from your parents to then get sick because you two are too young to know how to hold your liquor, I’m drunk in the back of the car, and I cried like a baby coming home from the bar, you don’t want to admit it, but you think you’re the one who is more in love between you two, which hurts, said, ‘’I’m fine’’, but it wasn’t true, I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you, you believe you’re the one who is making most of the effort, risking things you never thought you’d before, and I snuck in through the garden gate, every night that summer just to seal my fate, and you thought he didn’t know about your feelings, but of course he did, who else would give as many things as you did? and I screamed for whatever is worth, ‘’I love you’’, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?, however, to your surprise, you find out you weren’t the one who was more in love, he looks up grinning like a devil, and, even if it ends, you two give each other all the first times anyone could ever wish, and It’s new, the shape of your body, so it’s cruel, but it’s the best summer, it’s blue, the feeling I’ve got, and it’s ooh, whoa, oh it’s a cruel summer.
WONBIN - I Think He Knows
Falling for Wonbin is easy, he draws people to him without even trying, so of course you’re one of his victims too, his footprints on the sidewalk lead to where I can’t stop, go there every night, just to have him near you was enough to enchant you, following him with your eyes all night, you can’t help but go to him, his hands around a cold glass make me wanna know that body like it’s mine, you’re the one who has to start the interaction, and even if you weren’t used to it, you did it, pushing the fear of rejection aside, seeing a man like him was unusual, and you had to shoot your shot, he got that boyish look that I like in a man, it wasn’t as hard as you thought, with confidence, and a weak strategy, you caught his attention too, I am an architect, I’m drawing up the plans, a bit awkward at first, you being the one getting close first made you feel like a young kid running behind her crush again, it’s like I’m 17, nobody understands, no one understands, but you liked it, the nervous eyes, the heart beating, the hands sweating, it was something exciting that reminded you of good times, he got my heartbeat skipping down 16th avenue, but you weren’t a child anymore, that interaction wouldn’t end with you two holding hands, and with him reciprocating the energy, you felt it coming, got that, ah, I mean, wanna see what’s under that attitude, like, I want you, bless my soul, and I ain’t gotta tell him, I think he knows, and unlike the meeting, the touches weren’t awkward at all, both of you perfectly knowing what to do to satisfy each other, when we get all alone, I’ll make myself at home, and he’ll want me to stay, but you knew his type, and he knew yours, or so he thought, because after a couple of meetings and getting to know the real you, I think he knows he’d better lock it down or I won’t stick around, ‘cause good ones never wait, he didn’t want to let you go anymore, he’s so obsessed with me and boy I understand, boy I understand, he was new to approaching someone, always being the approached one, but again, with a bit of your help, everything was possible, lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh, we could follow the sparks, I’ll drive, and just like falling for him, being with him was easy too, because after you showed him the path, he knew what to do, ‘’So where we gonna go?’’ I whisper in the dark, ‘’Where we gonna go?’’ I think he knows.
#riize x plus size reader#riize x reader#riize smut#sehodreams thoughts#anton x reader#eunseok x reader#wonbin x reader#sungchan x reader#sohee x reader#shotaro x reader#seunghan x reader#riize imagines#riize scenarios#kpop scenarios#riize fluff
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THE DRAGON OF THE NORTH
Chapter 1: A New Life
masterlist l next
(a/n) hello! I decided to restart my “Ice and Fire” fanfaction because I have so much more ideas for a better story :) even though it’s discontinued, if you would like to check it out here’s the masterlist! I hope you guys will enjoy this one 🤍 I’m working on the masterlist for this series right now!
Divider credit: @dingusfreakhxrrington @valeskafics
°❆⋆Bran Stark x Targaryen OC .ೃ࿔*:･ CW: fem!oc, betrothal (forced marriage), topics of abuse and racism, angst, a lot of fluff, smut (I’ll try lol), and murder.꙳·❅°*˖ Rating: Mature audiences - The mature moments will happen later on. In the beginning, it will mostly just be cute fluff.⋆⁺₊❅.
Why must the gods be so cruel to me? What could I have possibly done to deserve this life? To be sold off like a slave by my own flesh and blood…I’ll never forgive Viserys. Without Dany, I am alone. Without love. I want to go home. But…where do I belong? The summer isles? No, that can’t be my true home, I never had the chance to live there. Do I belong anywhere?
Daughter of the mad king’s younger brother. Rhaella never knew her mother. She died after giving birth in the Summer Isles, killed by assassins under the command of the new king, Robert Baratheon. When he found out Rhaella’s mother was pregnant, he wanted both of them dead. Rhaella was smuggled out of the isles and sent to her cousins, the last Targaryens.
“I know you’re upset,” Lord Eddard Stark said, placing his hand on top of hers.“But please, believe me when I say this. I will never let anyone harm you. You are under my protection now.”
Rhaella gave him a weak smile back. Rhaella, the same name as the Mad King’s sister and wife. Daenerys gave her the name. Viserys despised the idea of his mother’s name given to the likes of a foreign girl. Even though she was still a Targaryen, he only considered her half and not pure. She took after her mother, with more summer isle features. Her skin wasn’t pale, instead, a light amber and tan that would get even darker in the sun. She had long silver curly hair, unlike her cousins who had straight silver blonde hair. The thing Rhaella hated the most was her eyes. Instead of being a pretty violet color, she had dark purple eyes that almost looked black.
Rhaella looked away from the carriage window to make eye contact with Lord Stark, “My Lord?” She asked, “Why did you accept my cousin’s offer to take me?”
“Well, you see,” he explained, “The rebellion caused great loss for everyone. So many people, loved ones, dead. Especially your family, unfortunately. I’ll never forgive him for his order of murder. When the king found out 3 Targaryens were still out in the world, he wanted you all dead. I wanted to prove to him that even though Areys was mad, that doesn’t mean you all don’t deserve to live. By taking you in and marrying one of my sons, we can show him that you are not our enemies. It took him a while to be fully convinced, but he agreed to let you live.”
”But, my eldest cousin,” Rhaella said. “He…he wants to take the seven kingdoms. I’m not sure how, but that is his plan.”
”I highly doubt he is a true threat,” Lord Stark said.
”you’re right,” she admitted. “He can be a big coward at times.”
That comment made him chuckle.
He has a nice smile, very warm and welcoming. Even though he did come off as cold before.
“Will I have to marry now?” Rhaella asked.
“Oh gods no!” He chuckled, “you are far too young, my son as well.”
“Will he like me?”
“I believe so, you have nothing to worry about. Bran is a good kid. He will treat you right.”
Once they made it through the gates, the carriage stopped. Lord Stark exited first so he could get the door for Rhaella. He gently held her hand as she took her steps down. Once Rhaella looked up from the steps, she saw the Stark family before her. Not letting go of her hand, Lord Stark approached his family to introduce their special guest.
“This is Rhaella Targaryen. As you all know, she will be with us now. Treat her as you would treat each other. If anyone disrespects her, let me know.”
They all nodded. A very handsome older boy approached her, “Hello, my lady, I am Robb,” he told her, “I hope you enjoy Winterfell and welcome!” Before walking away, he kissed her hand. That made Rhaella blush, “T-Thank you.” He had blue eyes and dark auburn hair. It was so dark you could barely tell if it was red. He had to have been the most beautiful boy she’d ever seen.
An older girl walked up to her gracefully, “Hello,” she smiled, “my name is Sansa. I hope we can grow to be like sisters! Maybe even brush each other’s hair, make dresses together, and so much more!” Rhaella gave a slight smile back, “I would love that!” Then a girl, who looked not too older than her, approached saying, “My name is Arya! Don’t worry, we don’t have to do girly stuff together. There are other ways to have fun!”
Then, she met Rickon, the youngest in the family, and their mother Lady Stark. “Oh my goodness,” she exclaimed, “aren't you just a lovely thing? Such a beauty.” Rhaella blushed at the compliment, thanking her.
She must be lying to me. I mean, just look at me! The journey to Westeros was so long that hair became wild and poofy.
”You must be frightened,” Lady Stark said. “Trust me, I never favored the cold myself. I still don’t, but you grow to appreciate it.”
Rhaella couldn’t keep her eyes off Lady Catelyn Stark’s features. Like Robb and Sansa, she had long auburn hair and pretty blue eyes. Her gown was also blue, making her eyes stand out even more.
“Where is Bran?” Lord Stark asked his wife.
“I told that boy to stop climbing,” she explained. “Brandon!”
“Sorry mother!” A voice yelled from above, “I’m coming down!”
When Rhaella looked up, she examined him. He looked to be the same age as her. He had dark brown hair and eyes with freckles on his face. He approached her and bowed, “Welcome to Winterfell, I hope you will take a liking to it.” “Thank you,” she replied.
The atmosphere quickly grew awkward. The two children didn’t know what to say to each other.
Lady Stark took Rhaella’s hand, “You must be exhausted, here, come with me.” She guided Rhaella to her bed chamber and had the handmaidens start a bath. After the bath, she laid on her bed for a quick nap.
After waking up, the handmaidens helped her get into a gown for dinner. The dress was purple with roses embroidered across the neckline. Then, they helped her with her hair. They clearly did not know what they were doing. They aren’t used to doing curly hair like Rhaella’s, but they managed to make something of it. They brushed out her curls, putting them in a half-up-half-down style. The ponytail was braided and put into a bun. After the handmaidens left the room, she looked at herself in the mirror.
I don’t even look like myself anymore.
Tears began to fill her eyes, I just want to go home.
She bolted out of the room, not knowing where she was going. She ran outside the big castle but didn’t dare to leave outside the castle walls. She eventually found an area that stood out to her. The whole vibe was strange as if something or someone was watching her. It was nothing but an old forest with no snow. In the middle of it, was a pool and a tree. A tree she’d never seen before. The huge tree was white with red leaves and a face carved into it. She stared deeply into the tree’s eyes for a while.
Is it staring back at me?
She snapped out of it, shaking her head, and climbed up the tree to sit on a huge branch.
Without Daenerys, I am lost. She didn’t know how long she’d been crying in the tree for, but she didn’t care. Winterfell wasn’t her home.
“Rhaella?” She heard a voice ask.
When she looked up, she saw Bran with a concerned look on his face, “w-why are you crying?”
She wiped her tears. “Sorry, I just miss my sister…how did you know I’d be here?”
“I like to go to the godswood, and climb up this tree,” he said. “Whenever I like to be alone and think. I’m sorry you had to leave your sister.”
“Well, she isn’t my sister, not really,” she admitted, wiping her face. “We are actually cousins. We just call each other sisters.”
He sat next to her, “my family was worried about you. They thought you might have ran away.” He nervously chuckled. “I…I know that we are to be married one day. The idea of marriage scares me.”
She doesn’t respond, only looking down at her hands as she fidgets with them. “I have something for you,” Bran showed her a beautiful blue flower. “That was the reason I was climbing.” He told her. “I wanted to give you something as a gift. I was going to give it to you at the dinner table but here. If I hurt your feelings not being there to greet you, I’m so sorry.” Rhaella took the flower and sniffed it.
“It’s called the winter rose,” he continued. “A rare flower that can grow around the castle.”
“It’s so beautiful,” she smiled. “Thank you.”
”You know, just because we’re betrothed doesn’t mean we have to be in love right now or anything,” he said. “Let’s just be friends!”
”Yeah I’d like that!” She said.
”And just so you know,” he whispered. “I liked your hair better before. Your curly hair is much better.”
She laughed, “You and me both.”
”You’re laughing!”
”So?”
”This is your first time laughing here,” he said. “You have a nice smile.”
”Thanks, Bran,” she said. “You know, my eldest cousin ,Viserys, told me and Dany that you guys were evil monsters. But, you guys aren’t monstrous at all!”
Before Bran could respond, they both hear a voice from down below calling for Bran. An older boy who looked the same age as Robb. He was very handsome with black curls and dark eyes. “I found her Jon!” Bran shouted.
”Well, what are you sitting around for? They are all waiting for you two!” The two of them climbed down from the tree and walked with Jon.
“Forgive me, my name is Jon Snow,” he told Rhaella. “Welcome to Winterfell.”
”I never heard of the last name ‘snow’ before,” she confessed.
Bran began to explain, ”That last name actually means he’s a…well—”
”Bastard.” Jon said. His voice was cold and somber.
”I don’t know what that means,” Rhaella said. “But Viserys called me that sometimes, I assumed as an insult.”
”It means that my father, Lord Stark, had me with another woman. I wanted to meet you when you arrived, but Lady Stark thought it would be disrespectful.”
Rhaella couldn’t help but feel awful for him. There was something about Jon Snow that made him stand out. As if they had a connection. She wondered if Jon felt it too.
“You said that Viserys called us evil,” Bran said. “Then why did he want to send you away to us?”
“He hates me,” she answered. “He saw you guys as an opportunity to get rid of me…”
Once they all made it to the dining hall, all eyes were on Rhaella and Bran. “Well, aren’t you just beautiful?” Catelyn smiled. “Please, have a seat.” Bran escorted her to her chair and went back to his. Before Jon could leave the Hall, Rhaella asked, “Can Jon eat with us please?”
”Ah, I see you met him while you were gone,” Lord Stark said, amused. “Would him eating with us please you?”
Rhaella looked over at Jon, whose eyes lightened up. She looked back at Lord Stark and gave a nod. He looked over at Lady Stark, “What do you say?”
She looked into Rhaella’s sparkling eyes and sighed, “Well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt…”
Rhaella gave a big smile. Jon pulled a chair next to her whispering, “Thank you Rhaella.”
“I hope you like the dress,” Sansa said. “I made it myself! I wanted to test my embroidery skills and decided to make you one!”
“It’s beautiful,” Rhaella told her. “You should teach me!” Sansa nodded gleefully.
“You know, we all thought you ran off and escaped!” Arya laughed.
“I…I didn’t mean any trouble or offense, I apologize.” Rhaella announced, standing up from her chair and bowing her head. “It was rude of me.”
“No,” Lord Stark said. “You have every right to feel the way you do. Your life changed right before your eyes. But please, believe me when I say this, we are here for you.”
“Aye.” Robb agreed. “If you are having trouble with anyone or anything let us know.” She thanked the both of them for their kindness.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what was it like outside of Westeros?” Catelyn asked.
Rhaella told them everything. Even about the abuse Viserys had done to her. He always yelled at her for the littlest things. The worst thing he ever did was sneak into her bedchamber with a knife. He threatened to cut out her insides if she didn’t cooperate with his plan to send her to the North.
They all had concerned looks on their faces. The abuse never got to her until explaining it out loud. She really did have it rough.
“That doesn’t matter anymore.” Arya said. “You are with us now!”
“Safe and sound,” Sansa added.
Rhaella didn’t realize she was smiling.
”So, Rhaella…you said you were from the Summer Isles right?” Theon asked.
“Yes, why you ask?”
He smirked at Robb before asking, “I heard the women there are quite breathtakingly beautiful?” She could have sworn she heard him whisper “and have nice bodies.”
”Well, I’ve never actually stayed there, I had to flee because of the King,” she explained. “But from the books I’ve read and from what I heard from some servants in Pentos, yes, the women there are quite beautiful.”
”I also heard that they have a passion for love making,” he said. “Maybe I gotta visit there sometime-.”
”Theon!” Lady Stark snapped. “Don’t be disrespectful-.”
”Oh that’s okay!” Rhaella reassured her. “You’re right, Theon! They do have a passion for it. If I were to stay in the Isles, I would have been a prostitute myself!”
Sansa and Lady Stark almost choked on their food, as Robb, Theon, and Jon bursted out laughing at the table. She didn’t understand what was so funny, but she laughed along with them.
”What’s a prostitute?” Rickon asked, innocently. That made the boys start crying from laughter. Theon even fell out of his chair.
”Y-You’ll know when you’re older!” Lady Stark said.
”You’ll fit in with us just fine, child,” Lord Stark said. “Welcome to the family!”
°❀⋆Daenerys.ೃ࿔*:･
Daenerys never felt more lonely. She missed Rhaella, her real family. She’d never forgive her brother for what he did.
“Daenerys!” Viserys shouted.
He entered her bed chamber, “do not tell me you’re still upset about that savage.”
She felt rage enter her body as he said those words. “She is not a savage, she’s my sister,” she replied softly. “And I don’t understand why you sent her to our enemies.”
“Don’t be an idiot,” he said. “We both know that’s not true. She’s our cousin. Daughter of our uncle and whatever foreign whore he married. She’s not a pure Targaryen like us, Dany. And she never will be. I gave her away because we need allies, even if they are enemies. The Starks are a strong house, and I knew that Lord Stark would gladly take her in. The fool won’t even know of my plans to destroy him and his dear friend Robert.”
Daenerys always considered Rhaella her sister, even if it wasn’t true. They spent all of their time together, never leaving one’s side. It felt like it was yesterday, the day Rhaella arrived in Braavos as a baby. Viserys wanted nothing to do with her while Daenerys cherished her. She had no idea why Viserys was so upset about naming their cousin after their mother. It was only a name after all. She always thought it was much deeper than Rhaella being a “savage.” She never dared to ask him though.
“I have good news.” He announced. She examined his face, his grin looked devious. Truly it wasn’t good news. “I found you a husband,” he said. “His name is Khal Drogo, Magister Illyrio said. A Dothraki savage. When you two wed, I’ll have his army. We can finally go home, sweet sister.”
Home.
All she ever wanted was a home. A home with Rhaella, where they could finally be happy together. With her gone, Daenerys wasn’t sure if it would be home without her.
“And what about her?” She asked him.
“The savage?” He scoffed. “Those Starks have her now. I don’t care what they do to her. As long as we have our alliance with the North.”
Daenerys wanted to cry, but she stayed strong. I will meet her again, one day.
°❆⋆Bran ೃ࿔*:･
It had only been a couple of months, but for Bran, it felt like he had known Rhaella his whole life. Rhaella also grew close to his sisters but mostly Arya. The three of them were inseparable. Rhaella even taught them some of the Valyrian language. Some nights, the three of them would stay up and read history books about Targaryen history until they got caught by the Septa. For fun, they liked to go sledding and have snowball fights. The older Stark boys and Rickon joined them sometimes, but never Sansa. Ever since Rhaella arrived, Sansa and Arya fought less. It’s like wherever she went, she spread joy. That’s one of the traits Bran liked about her.
Now, everyone is preparing for the arrival of the King.
He overheard his father saying that the King was almost there. Bran felt sorry for Rhaella because she was so stressed out. “What will he do to me?” She asked. He always reassured her, “You are under our protection now, the King approved of you. Don’t worry about a thing.”
At that moment, it was time for Bran to practice his archery. He hasn’t been getting any better. He wanted to show his family he could hit the bull’s eye. First, only Robb was watching him. Then, came Jon and Rickon. Before he knew it, his parents came to watch as well.
“Keep practicing, Bran,” Lord Stark insisted. “Go on.”
Jon leaned in towards Bran, placing his hand on his shoulder, “Alright, father is watching.”
Jon looks over and sees Rhaella and Arya watching as well, “and her…” he whispered.
Bran took a deep gulp. He didn’t like to get teased about Rhaella. They only do it because we are to be married. We are just friends, good friends.
Bran nodded and started to aim his bow and arrow at his target.
“Relax your bow arm…” Robb commented.
Just before Bran could release the arrow, someone else’s hits the target and another shoots right through it.
All of the boys turned their heads to see Rhaella and Arya giggling. “Hey!” Bran yelled. The girls both curtseyed but quickly took off once they saw Bran chasing them. The kids kept on playing until their father took all of the boys to see an execution. Bran was finally old enough to see one.
“Are you scared?” Rhaella asked him as he was mounting his pony.
“I’m not sure.” He answered honestly.
But I can’t be afraid. My father told me I won’t be a boy forever. I’ll be a man-grown soon. I mustn’t be afraid. I need to be brave. Like Robb and Jon. Wolves are never afraid.
Taglist: @lover-of-books-and-tea
#bran stark#bran stark x reader#asoiaf#game of thrones fanfiction#bran stark imagine#game of thrones#game of thrones imagine#game of thrones x reader#fanfic#house of the dragon#hotd#daenerys targaryen#jon snow#arya stark#sansa stark#house targaryen#isaac hempstead wright#aemond targaryen#aegon targaryen#rhaenyra targaryen#daemon targaryen#game of thrones fic
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gentleman
im back, bitches! apparently not a lot of you know that im a swiftie lmfaoaoaoa, so heres something cause slut is my absolute favorite its a fuckin' masterpiece
also, am i the only one who thinks that "in a world of boys hes a gentleman" means something else, lol. cause like this dude is in a group of boys, within those group of boys, but if he's in a group of men its a complete different story?!!??! if that makes enough sense.
one more thing, my short stories arent based on the song itself, its based on one line of the song. a lot of you were confused with my mad one and that it was different from what ne-yo was trying to say in the song. i hope this clarifies it :>
just a quickie for tonight, i feel so lonely hahaha... i should probably get a life
miguel x reader (mostly fem)
"everyone wants him, that was my crime. wrong place at the right time and i break down, then he's pulling me in"
youve been dating miguel for some time now, lets just say your relationship wasnt exactly... perfect
who were you to judge!? he was spiderman, so many females with different ages have looked up to him not only because of his heroicness, but as well as his physique, i mean have you seen that domino chip build?
you didnt mind at first, its not like you werent one of his fangirls before meeting him too, right? but no, you were starting to get pissed, no lie.
this caused a bit of a ruckus between the relationship of the two. a little screaming and shouting at the middle of the night when miguel forgot to tell her that he'd might need to patrol late at night again, or when she saw a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes kissing the masked man on the cheek on t.v! it didnt help when miguel had both his thumbs up and showing it to the camera before swinging away.
"mi vida, please! i told you im sorry. it was only for show, you know that!" miguel said, wrapping his arms around her waist as he places his chin on her shoulder while she was cooking dinner
"i didnt know that i dated a celebrity and not a hero then" you coldly said, turning off the stove and getting only one plate "i already ate dinner, eat without me" you said
but she hates it when someone is eating by themselves miguel thought to himself with a pout. he messed up, big time.
"mi vida, por favor" miguel said, shooting a web at her wrist to prevent her from leaving "im sorry, its my fault. i should have known better than to enjoy the kiss" miguel said, hugging his girlfriend tight
"i only like your kisses" miguel said as he snuck a quick peck on her cheek "maybe this isnt going to work, miguel. between the two of us" she said
this made miguel look at her with sad and torn eyes, "mi amor? im sorry if i was a bit overboard today, i understand my mistakes and i promise to correct them." miguel said, looking into your eyes with nothing but honesty as he holds both of your hands in his
"i know what i did was an ass mistake, and i understand if youre mad. but mi corazon, dont give up on us. i promise ill be better next time, ill know my limits" he said, his hands releasing from yours as he transfers then into your face, cupping it with his huge hands.
he gives you a quick peck on the nose and smiled "i love you, 3000" he said "please forgive me, lets work this out, i dont want us to end'
"you know, miguel. in a world of boys, youre a gentleman"
#imagine#atsv miguel#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara imagine#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara x reader amor#miguel o'hara x reader fluff#miguel spiderman#miguel spiderverse#miguel x reader#miguel o hara#miguel o'hara angst to fluff#miguel x reader angst#spiderman 2099#miguel ohara#astv miguel#spiderman 2099 x reader#miguel x you#ohara#spiderman across the verse#spiderman#spidey#x you#x you smut#x you fluff#x you angst#x reader#female reader#fem reader#reader insert
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gen v fic(s) ?? (mostly jordan tbh)
the lack of gen v fanfics is actually a crime so i am here to change that. i have a lot of ideas, and thought i could share them here to see if anyone would be interested in any of them.
— SECOND CHANCES (jordan li fic)
Nova Woods' body is made of mistakes and regrets more than flesh and bone.
Ambition is her second name and betrayal is her God.
Not that Jordan Li knew this when they started dating her. No, what Jordan knew was the girl who always wore pink even though people made fun of her, and who brought them a cup of coffee and a sandwich because she knew they tend to skip breakfasts.
Nova Woods was Jordan Li's safe place. Tender touches and soft kisses, the emphatic look in her eyes that made them melt as if she was the sun and they were Icarus' wings, and praises spilling from her lips like sweet honey that they so needed.
Until they learned what kind of a monster was under the masks she was wearing.
The only reason Nova was with them was to get into the top ten on the list.
Nothing about her was real. She was just a perfectly sculpted illusion, showing them what they wanted to see. And Jordan was a fool, who opened their hearts and showed her their most vulnerable parts.
Nova knows she fucked up. She knows that. And she is ready to do whatever is necessary to win them back. She no longer cares about the list - she never actually did; it was her parents' ambitions pressed upon her and she was just a puppet whose strings were in their hands.
Jordan Li does not believe in second chances. But Nova Woods is ready to change their mind.
(I have not yet come up with Nova's powers, super healing for plot armor ofc but maybe animal control or plant control - something that will not overpower her.)
— LAMB TO A SLAUGHTER
Samantha Riordan is nothing if not her twin brother Luke's shadow. He is the Golden Boy, the sun seems to favor him as he bathes in its light while she is just Luke's little sister (despite being two fucking minutes older than him) resting on the shadow he has created for her. She watches her brother wear the crown of glory all the while she seems to have very similar powers to his but never makes it to even the top ten on the list.
Even her name does not just belong to her. Their younger brother was named Sam, which was the nickname she went by. Emphasis on the past tense because her younger brother has killed himself so her fucking name became a taboo in her own house.
It is like the universe and everyone around her acts like her actual ability is being invisible.
That is until her twin brother blows himself up and all the spotlight falls upon her.
Love Interest(s): Jordan Li (main) & Marie Moreau (not poly)
— THE FALL FROM EDEN
tw: homophobia, religious parents/guilt
Eden Rivers cannot stress this enough: just because she kissed a girl one time (okay, maybe three times) does not mean she is bisexual. She likes boys. She is straight. She is normal. She is the way her God wants her to be.
Her knees have bruises due to kneeling on the ground and her throat burns and aches for uttering prayers for hours and asking for forgiveness from God.
Again, her mother says, ignoring the tears that stain Eden's cheeks. She feels no pity toward Eden, she sees no daughter or a teenage girl. She only sees an abomination and is blinded by disgust and hatred.
There is something terribly wrong with Eden: she kissed another girl.
Eden does not argue or fight back. She continues praying and, crying, regretting and hating herself.
Then, she wipes off her tears and cleans the blood on her knees to go back to her job as if nothing happened.
Luke Riordan sees right through his assistant but does not force her to speak. He knows how her parents are and just reminds her that she will always have a place in his house if she ever needs it.
Then, he kills himself.
And Eden is starting to question her God.
Then, she meets Jordan Li — he, no wait, she, but then it is a he again and Eden cannot understand anything. Bi-gender, others explain to her and suggest her to use they/them for Jordan.
Eden needs to know why Luke, a human form of sunshine, decided to blow himself up. Because if she cannot find a reason, it means her God has failed her.
And she has to work with Jordan, whose both forms make Eden forget that her God is watching her, reading her not-so-pure thoughts.
But when Jordan is around, Eden's God does not exist.
And she no longer puts meaning into her prayers - not after kissing them.
She does not regret kissing them. She only regrets not doing it before.
(i am actually v proud of this idea because a lot of people have to hide or fight back their sexuality due to the pressure of their parents and norms placed into their heads. gen v is not just a show about superpowers or heroes/villains, it is also about discovering your real identity and finding who you really are and i feel like this fic would be focusing on both identity search and fun superpower parts.)
— BLOOD & GUTS
In a world full of Supes, being a seer is lame, Isabel Quinn knows. She also knows how fucking pathetic it is to have a girlfriend who can manipulate blood when she faints at the sight of blood.
Isabel does not think she belongs at Godolkin University but she follows her girlfriend Marie Moreau there. She assures herself that everything will be alright if they keep a low profile - but then Marie wants to go out with the "cool" Supes and drags Isabel with her.
And then there is a woman with a split neck in the middle of the club they go to. And the crimson river is all Isabel can see. So much fucking blood and Isabel's vision goes black.
She wakes up in Andre Anderson's bed - the guy who is responsible for almost killing the woman in the club- and learns they left her fucking girlfriend responsible for it and tries to get away from him.
Andre - a hypocrite, hero-wannabe in Isabel's opinion- pulls a cliche when he grabs her wrist in the middle of the yard to justify his actions but then the Golden Boy chases her girlfriend and flies to the sky.
And there is blood again. Everywhere.
Fainting once again and this time waking up with a worried Marie hovering over her, Isabel says a dumb thing. A very dumb and unforgivable thing.
Isabel loses the only reason she came to that university: her girlfriend.
But while Isabel is running after Marie to regain her love, Andre Anderson seems like a tail on her back, desperate to prove to her that he is a good guy.
love interest(s): Marie Moreau & Andre Anderson (love triangle, andre as main love interest)
— KISS & KILL
Camila Dunlap sometimes pretends like the white ceiling above her is actually a bright blue sky that stretches to freedom and the chains on her hands are actually her sister Cate's warm hands.
She is tired of looking at the trees and being trapped inside of a room.
She is tired of waiting for her sister to save her.
Sometimes they let her see Cate. But Camila knows Cate has to do things for them. Bad things, her older sister mumbles when asked, terrible things.
At least, she talks with the guy in the next room through Morse code. Sam is his name, a funny guy who often jokes about how she is not actually real. Communicating with him keeps her remaining sanity.
Until one day, when Sam does more than keep her sane, and actually helps her out of the Woods with the help of a very tiny girl.
But it is never over.
Cate tells her that if she truly wants to be free, she has to do whatever they say. She has to turn Sam in and betray the people who have saved her.
Betrayal has always been a part of love for Dunlap sisters, who can play with the strings of someone's mind as if they were those of a violin.
(as you can see, i don't like sticking to canon so this is based on the theory that cate is a double agent. i am not sure about sam's age but he'll be aged up.)
i think this is it for now. don't question why the summaries are way too long, i tend to do that. i'd appreciate if you stated which one(s) you are interested!
thanks so much for reading this!
#gen v#the boys#the boys gen v#jordan li#gen v fanfic#gen v amazon#gen v prime#marie moreau#gen v fanfic ideas#cate dunlap#sam riordan#luke riordan#andre anderson#wattpad#jordan li fanfic
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Have you ever played the game Transistor? If you haven’t it’s basically a guy gets killed protecting a girl, he is uploaded into the sword that killed him and she is able to hear him. The bad guys are basically templars and are trying to take away power from the masses for the greater good (by making a super powerful tool - the sword). She then goes on a revenge quest with the sword with him encouraging her the whole time. It is an extremely romantic revenge quest.
There is one point, while he is in the sword, where he says something like, ‘when I look up to where the sky should be, all I see is you.’
And I just sort of went, oh dear, that is SUCH a Desmond thing. So yeah lol what if Desmond is in Altair’s sword/hidden blade. Or maybe even the reverse?
Oh god, yeeessss.
That does sound like something they would say XD
Both of them could work as the sword in this scenario but, since we’ve been making Desmond into so many things (mostly animal), let’s make Altaïr the sword for this one.
To be more exact, his consciousness was placed in the Sword of Altaïr after his death.
He doesn’t know how it happened.
He remembered giving the sword to Darim years back, when his hands had gone weak and trembled at times that wielding a sword was simply too dangerous for him and those around him.
And being in the sword made him lethargic. Too weak to do anything but hear what was happening around him.
He heard Darim be with his family.
He heard Darim gifting him to his oldest daughter, his successor.
Not as a mentor but as the successor to the will of the Ibn-La'Ahad, the will to see what lies beyond the unknown.
The sword changes hands for every generation.
Parent to child until…
One of his descendants gave it to his pupil for he did not have any child of his own.
Later on, he fell to the hands of the Auditores.
To Ezio Auditore.
The one they call the prophet.
He was there when Ezio heard Minerva’s message.
He was there when Ezio found his remains.
He was there when Ezio gifted him to the next mentor of the Italian Brotherhood.
Time passed on and he continued to stay in that half-conscious state.
Only hearing.
Even when he tries to speak…
No one heard him.
The world evolves.
People moved forward.
And he soon found himself ‘worthless’ in this world of firearms and heavy machinery.
He was left to rot in a case, cared for with the love of an antiquity with historical value.
He would much preferred to be considered as a tool for death.
At least a tool had a tangible purpose.
As a display, he felt… empty.
One day, the case shattered and a hand gripped him tightly.
And brought him to the Templars.
Daniel Cross.
An Assassin that had been a Templar from the very beginning.
Altaïr knew there was more to it than what he knows but he knows nothing for that was all he heard when Cross gave him to a man named Vidic.
He was placed in an office as a decoration.
No.
A trophy.
All he could do was hear and watch as they killed Assassins and their families.
To purge the Assassins, not caring if they were the elderly or the children.
The Templars had grown more brutal and cold as time passed on.
Some of them cling to their ideology.
Others were blind with their greed for power and riches.
And Altaïr was powerless to stop them.
Powerless to stop the cruelty he hears.
Powerless to stop even just the cruelty in front of him as more and more people fell prey to the torture of the Animus.
Powerless to stop as Clay Kaczmarek stained his blade with blood, whispering to him breathlessly, “It’s okay… soon… you’ll meet him…”
Powerless as they brought the next man, his own descendant, and forced him to watch Altaïr’s own memories.
He had enough.
He had thought he would never feel such rage ever again.
But this…
All of these…
Forgiveness is a kindness Altaïr would never show them.
But he was powerless.
All he could was watch as they find the map in Altaïr’s memories.
All he could was watch as they left Desmond alive and Desmond didn’t even know it was because they plan to use him once more.
To make him trust Lucy Stillman enough to continue to play to their tune.
He watched as Lucy Stillman pretended to be his ally and took him out of his prison. Instead of taking Desmond away as quickly as they could, she orders him to lie down on the Animus once more.
But Desmond…
Desmond stared at him.
Lucy couldn’t stop him. No matter how much she tells him that they have no time and they need to be quick, Desmond didn’t listen.
Desmond walked towards him and placed his hand on his hilt.
And Altaïr…
Altaïr woke for the first time.
“Desmond…”
Lucy didn’t react.
She did not hear him.
But Desmond…
“Altaïr…” Desmond held him close and Altaïr felt his blade sharpened as it glowed lightly. The metal he had used, the very same metals that he had used in his Armor as his Apple instructed…
It hums.
No.
It sings.
“My Desmond…” Altaïr whispered back.
He knew it in what remains in him, trapped in this prison of metal and death.
Desmond was his.
The one he was waiting for…
The one who would understand Altaïr’s centuries of loneliness…
… and his thirst for vengeance…
.
.
Unorganized Notes:
Desmond and Altaïr bonds immediately and deeply because (Desmond) Bleeding Effect and (Altaïr) lack of connection and desire for vengeance. They’re very protective of one another.
Yeah, the Sword of Altaïr is a man-made POE like the Armor of Altaïr. Unlike the Armor of Altaïr, Altaïr’s conscious serves as the ‘master unit’ to unlock the metal’s more advanced functions that makes the Sword of Altaïr very similar to the Sword of Eden. The Armor of Altaïr could have served as a lite Shroud of Eden but it didn’t have a ‘master unit’ so it’s just very durable.
This is actually Minerva’s final attempts to change the Calculations after she saw Desmond die and she picked Altaïr because Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton are both being watched by Juno and Altaïr (with Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton) had the highest percentage of connecting with Desmond.
The sword is made of the same metal as an Isu weaponry so it doesn’t alarm any metal detector.
This would be more like Altaïr and Desmond going rogue and starting to destroy Abstergo facilities while taking out Templars without contacting the Assassins. It’s personal for both of them as they both have reasons to want vengeance against the Templars.
Along the way, they start to fall in love.
It is ‘muddied’ if their feelings for one another are their own or if Minerva’s hastily edited Calculations had a hand on it to keep them loyal to one another.
Regardless, Altaïr would probably say “Even if this was fate, what I feel is real. My love for you is real to me. You are all that matters to me, Desmond.” or something similar XD
Lucy would probably die in this one because Altaïr knows she betrayed the Assassins and is part of the reason why a lot of Assassins died (either directly like Clay or indirectly by giving the Templars information).
It’s because of Lucy’s death that Shaun and Rebecca (and the Assassins) would take a more antagonistic role in this one. They don’t know Desmond personally but they know he killed their friends so they might have been ordered to find and ‘capture’ him but they see him as a murdered (even though they also believe that Desmond believes her to be a Templar).
#ask and answer#teecup writes/has a plot#fic idea: assassin's creed#no usual tags because#altdes#transistor altdes au
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Carl Grimes x Male! Reader
Warnings — Mentions of scars + Ron in his angsty era (hes forgivable as always)
Req — anyways, i have a request for a carl grimes x male reader, where the reader has facial scars (two on either side of his mouth) from an incident before the apocalypse hit and hes really insecure about them and maybe in alexandria they could finally relax and the reader started noticing people staring at his face and asking about his scars more and he got insecure again then begins to accidentally distance himself from carl not realizing until carl finds him in his room and asks why and it takes a while but carl gets the reader to spit it out then carl just comforts the reader and cuddles him and all that fluffy bs
I went a little off track with this one + this is like season 5 or 6 Carl so he acts a bit sillier / more nervous
The apocalypse had seemed to not be the worst experience of your life— the lives taken leaving scars on your heart, but not on your skin.
You only had to share the stories of your heart with one person. And he always understood your boundaries, that it was far too hard for you to come out and say things.
However, you always told him eventually, because he knew you well enough to know you needed to tell someone.
You and he had been elated at the discovery of Alexandria, it was a beautiful place, and the people were shockingly lovely. For the most part, that is.
On your first day there, you held Judith while the two of you sat in for an interview— Deanna would have preferred that the two od you went in seperately but you refused.
You could never be too careful, but she did remind you of your pre-apocalyptic grandma. She got extra points for that.
Carl lightly answered her questions as you looked out the houses front windows, exploring the small sea of people— small for a town, huge for the world as it was now.
"And you, Y/n? Inspirations?", she broke you from your thoughts, eyes sealed on your face.
It felt like her eyes bored into the scars that lay there, scars that had nothing to do with an apocalypse. Ones that rested in a life you wished dearly to move from.
You pressed on anyway, you couldn't scare her away on day one. Pressing your tongue to the roof of your mouth, you made a soft click before responding.
"Nope, no not really.", you paused, "I'll do anything you need, I'm a good shot."
"Shot?", it was her turn to pause, as if she couldn't fathom you and carl handling guns, "No, that's not necessary. We've got better jobs for boys your age."
You didn't respond, looking back out the window.
—
The jobs as promised never really came— not for Carl anyways. They sent him to school with the other kids, wanting you to do the same, but you refused.
Reluctantly, Deanna sent you to watch over the younger kids— mostly concluding of Judith and Sam, whilst the other kids took classes and the adults did their jobs.
Ron and Carl got close quick, followed by Carl and Enid becoming friends as well. It felt a bit lonelier, but you were glad he was healing.
And it all felt fine until Ron came to grab Sam. He was upset, god knows why, but he tried to hold it together— be nice to the new guy, especially infront of his brother.
"Sam, c'mon.", he grumbled, leaning his weight against the right side of the doorframe, obviously in a hurry.
You looked up, sat on the floor in front of Sam, setting up a railroad track for his train engine. Sam looked over his shoulder, blinking at his older brother.
"But, Y/n and I are busy— he's helping me build this for Choo." Ron's eyes rolled, but he figured he ought to treat you kindly.
"Well hurry it up," his eyes flickered to you, letting out a breath of excess air, "Please."
"Sam we can finish tomorrow." You whispered, sensing the anger from the older boy— standing up you offered the younger boy a hand.
He didn't take it, clicking another piece together, in turn ignoring you all together. You looked at Ron, offering him an apologetic half-smile.
"Sorry."
Ron groaned, taking a couple steps further into the room, "C'mon, Sam, do this tomorrow— mom wants you home, and I want to go out. Hurry up."
Sam frowned deeper, pushing himself up, and grabbing his coat. On the way over to Ron, he turned to wave and wish his goodbyes.
All was fine but awkward until you heard their conversation on the way out— one you assumed you weren't supposed to hear.
"What's with Scarface, you need to listen dude—"
He hadn't even said it to hurt you, merely just to jab at his sensitive younger brother. But it hurt more than it should have, a lot more.
Everyone has scars. You told yourself, but that didn't fix it. That didn't fix the attachments to a time before, the memories you couldn't run away from due to the scars.
Not that Scarface as a term itself made you feel good.
—
It didn't take Carl long to notice the absence, the days where you'd walk him and Judith home now ended with Michonne bringing her home after patrolling.
Times where you'd sort through your clothes together, creating a full load for the washer rather than his now barely filled loads— ones he'd forced Judith's excess clothes into.
You'd both had such an insync schedule that he hadn't even stopped to recognize, one that felt wrong without you there.
But the worst part was the nights, nights were you'd sit on his floor together, peacefully enjoying the feeling of comfort— the feeling of being anything but alone.
He was too scared to ask, maybe you needed space— maybe everything he'd built with you had been too much or too fast for you, you two were kids.
Maybe he had gotten to close with you, maybe you hadn't even felt the same things he did. It wasn't like you'd discussed your relationship, it just felt right as it was. To him.
All he wanted was to make the right move.
By that point it'd weighed to heavy on him, dropping Judith off in the mornings with no Hello, no Good Morning. It felt like a rip in his heart, one he could heal if he was attentive.
He told Michonne that he'd get Judith today, and he walked with Ron so he would be the last in there— Sam being the last kid to be picked up if anyone besides Judith showed up.
"Y/n." He greeted, nervousness hidden well, taking fast steps into the nearly vacant room. You looked up, Judith cuddled in your arms.
"Carl?"
"Y/n." He called again, now stood in front of you. You gave him a confused look, why was he fumbling so hard to say anything other than your name?
"Sorry, sorry. Uhm."
"Carl spit it out." You encouraged, eyes studying his face as you did so. "What do you need?"
"What's wrong? Why are you being distant, if I did something tell me."
"What?"
"I mean it, Y/n. Did I scare you off? Was.. was something too much? Just tell me. Please."
"What are you talking about?"
His face fell, defeated completely. He felt invalidated, but you were confused. You hadn't even recognized the distance you'd created, the nervousness and heartbreak you were pushing on him.
"Have I not been around?" You asked, setting Judith in the crib you'd grabbed her from. Your look was geniune— he could tell you hadn't even known.
"Yes. Yeah, yeah, really distant."
"I'm sorry." You offered, looking down, "I.. I uhm. I haven't felt too well, seems silly now—"
"It's not silly, whatever it is."
"I told you I didn't like my life before this.. it's just— Ron said something and it scared me. He said something about some scars I have and it.."
But, he didn't make you finish. Why would he? A mixture of understanding and relief reluctantly washed over him.
"Dude.." He wrapped his arms around you, maybe too tight, not that you'd tell him that. "You can talk to me, tell me things... Ron says stupid things he—"
"I won't take it to heart, Carl." You hummed, settling your head into the collar of his flannel. "I didn't mean to be distant, it really just happens sometimes.."
He smiled, letting out a little laugh. "I feel a little stupid— I mean I.. well I have some questions now."
"Yeah?" You offered, pulling back enough to be in the embrace and see his face. He looked brilliant when he smiled— it didnt happen often but when it did everything bad seemed to disappear.
"Are you.. we, are we.." He thought about it, clicking his tongue and finally looking at you again, "Are you my boyfriend?"
You blinked at him for a moment— suprised he didn't shrink into himself when you took a moment to think. "Are you my boyfriend?'
"I want to be." He muttered, straightening himself out, "I really want to be."
"Yes, Grimes. You can be my boyfriend." You paused, grinning, "Don't get too cocky, I know I'm awesome and all."
"Oh, I will."
—
tags -> @loser-fics , @hea-vin , @ariianelle
#the walking dead#twd#carl grimes#carl grimes x reader#carl#the walking dead fluff#carl grimes x male reader#mlm#male reader
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All In
Spoilers ahead for RTTE. I've seen and read a lot of stories, but I only have one character who's been my favorite hero and villain. That character is Dagur because he always went all in on whichever role he's supposed to play. I think the reason is that most characters are written with one particular role in mind. I've seen some who are meant to become heroes, so they never do anything too bad. They can't seem truly evil because they're eventually going to be good guys. Then, some characters have been part of that untrustworthy/villainous side for so long that even when they're supposed to be good, they do shady things that show how they're almost naturally villains. Neither of these happen with Dagur. When he's bad, he's really a villain; when he's good, he's really a hero. I love that.
I've seen mostly two opinions on Dagur. One where he's this monster who would eat kids in their nightmares and one where he's done nothing wrong. I feel like part of what makes him so amazing is that he did have both sides to him. As an antagonist, Dagur pulled no punches. He had the highest confirmed kill count of any human character. On top of who knows how many merchants he killed (since he was very ready to do that), he killed an entire island worth of Vikings. It's not just that either. He's one of the few villains who consistently tries to kill the Riders. When they were caught on the ship, he wanted to drown one of them. When he was fighting Astrid, he tried to dig an ax into her torso. He wasn't even loyal to other villains since he was constantly planning to betray them like with Alvin or the Grimborns. Villainous Dagur was threatening, unpredictable, and murderous. He was also a lot of fun, which made him my favorite baddie. Then, he pleasantly surprised me by turning good.
Dagur didn't have one of those moments where he tried to turn bad again. In all honesty, he couldn't. He'd done so many horrible things as a villain that if he ever did anything even remotely villainous again, no one would be able to forgive him. To put it into perspective, Dagur tried to sacrifice himself for everyone and STILL didn't gain all their trust. Generally, self sacrifice is kind of the most you can do, but since he didn't die, Heather was immediately suspicious of him again when she found him. It's because of everything he had done. So, to make up for how good of a villain he was, he had to be just as good a hero. Dagur became an incredibly selfless good guy.
Hiccup literally yelled that he hated him for leaving him with the Hunters (who technically had only captured the two of them because Hiccup tried to kill Dagur for supposedly poisoning Toothless) and Dagur was on his way to get Toothless to save him. When Dagur tried to sacrifice himself, he had to fight against Heather to do it. He isn't someone who needs someone to care about him back in order for him to protect them. Even in what he thought would be death, Dagur continued to try to help the Riders stop Viggo. Although the gold wasn't his, he still found it for Berk. Even though no one asked him to, he sent Berk willow bark when they didn't have any for medicine. On top of this, Dagur let Gustav (who is basically canonically hated by everyone) stay on Berserker Island at the request of Stoick. I'd say that after putting his life at risk and protecting the Riders, these other actions are necessary, but they show that the little details matter to him. I realize they matter to me too because they really showed me how much being a good person meant to Dagur. At every turn, he tried to do what he could to help his new friends. I truly respect that. He never half did anything. It makes sense. According to him, it's the Berserker way. All in, all the time. Sounds just like Dagur to me.
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Nuevo Paraíso
For @discodeviant Happy Valentine's Day My Dude! Here's a RDR Au that's mostly an excuse for Cowboys Kissing.
Billy sat down in the dirt with a hard groan.
“Rough riding, friend?” Harrington asked, raising his dented flask.
“Don’t I know it,” Billy rubbed his lower back, “That stallion’s a nasty piece of work. Any chance you want to trade.”
“Not on your life,” Harrington shook his head, heels dragging slightly in the dirt as he looked over at Billy. That pretty head of hair had never looked so messy, nor so beautiful. “But don’t you worry. Maybe next town over you can find a horse to trade. Or one to steal.”
“Love hearin’ you tell me to steal in that fancy accent, Pretty Boy,” Billy nudged Harrington with his elbow. “Say another.”
“Boston isn’t fancy,” Harrington rolled his eyes, tucking his flask away without ever even offering Billy any. Selfish.
Billy didn’t know where they’d turned up this guy. He sure didn’t seem like an outlaw, with his graceful movements and pretty golden tongue. Pretty everything, actually. Not that Billy would let on. Even the rough scar that marred Harrington’s brow didn’t detract from his pretty face, only added to it.
“Fancier than Lenora Hills,” Billy shrugged, pushing away the thoughts. Harrington was too fine, too pretty to be real. He’d seen Harrington flirt with the birds of paradise, flashing those bambi brown eyes, pumping them for information and more. Harrington had made his choice and showed it plainly, so Billy wouldn’t try to kid himself.
Of course it happened sometimes. Don’t think Billy didn’t notice the glances between Marston and Morgan. He’d seen more than one cowboy ride in the saddle with another, though people might pretend it was just for lack of women. But Billy knew, there was always a choice. And Harrington was straighter than an arrow.
“Is that where you’re from?”
Harrington’s eyes sparkled with genuine interest, setting off a battle of the butterflies in Billy’s stomach.
Billy turned his head and spit, “Yep. California. Ain’t north or south or nothing, just dead in the center.”
“I’ve always wanted to go to California,” Harrington rested back on his elbows, his dusty blue jacket pulling taut across his biceps. Billy just looked away, leaning back to match Harrington but keeping his eyes trained on the fire.
“Used to dream of riding out there with a wagon and a wife…” Harrington continued, “Drive out hard and make my way to the golden shore.”
Billy snorted, “I assume that’s not the way you came out west. Unless your wife is a real forgiving type.”
It took so long for Harrington to answer, Billy was forced to look his way. Harrington was looking up at the stars, his long neck bared, pretty eyes aglow. His expression flickered between happiness and sadness.
“No,” Harrington smiled ruefully. “No. It wasn’t like that.”
Billy blinked at the smoke blowing their way, but said nothing, just seeing how long he could get away with looking before Harrington called him on it.
“There was this girl. Nancy. She was in trouble, needed help. So I just… kind of… ignored the law,” Harrington hedged, as if he was being interrogated. “By the time we got back, there were lawmen on my trail, and Nancy… Nancy’d gotten engaged.”
“After you-”
“He’s a nice fellow. I can’t say a bad thing about either of them,” Harrington shrugged, and turned the full focus of his piercing gaze on Billy. “Wish I could, sometimes.”
“Don’t worry about it, Pretty Boy. Plenty of tail to chase out here,” Billy’s voice wasn’t shaking. It wasn’t. “Lotsa fillies would kill for a ride with you.”
Harrington didn’t answer, just looked at Billy like he was a bug under a glass, and then slid down, resting his head on his bedroll.
“The west does have something on Boston,” Harrington laughed, “Well. Many things.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“All these stars,” Harrington’s pretty mouth turned up into a smile, and he finally released Billy from his thrall, sweeping his gaze over the night sky. “It's difficult to see the big dipper through the city smog.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” Billy glanced back at the camp. The other men were huddled around a larger fire, eyes mostly on their business though Billy could see Marston and Morgan talking heatedly out by the horses. They were just two silhouettes, close enough to kill. Or kiss.
Harrington laughed, the deep rich sound echoing through the night, drawing Billy’s attention back to him.
“You don’t like the stars?” Harrington asked.
“I’m a little more concerned with what’s happening here on earth,” Billy smirked.
“Indulge me, Hargrove,” Harrington’s knee fell a little, nudging Billy’s. “I’ll make it worth your while.”
Billy looked away, pulling a hand rolled cigarette from his pocket and a packet of matches, that he struck off his beard with shaky hands, before he could bring himself to answer.
“And what do you think is worth my while, Harrington?” Billy said roughly.
“Me,” There was no tease to his voice, just bold honesty.
Billy sucked on the cigarette, not sure how to play it. This could just be a trick, a way to make Billy admit that he was… that he sometimes…
“Very funny, Harrington,” Billy said dryly.
“Who’s laughing, Billy?” Harrington’s smile was easy. Soft. “Lay down with me.”
Billy just stared down at him.
“For the stars. At least, for now.”
It was just stargazing. Like they were a couple of moon eyed school girls instead of hardened outlaws. It should mean nothing. Probably did mean nothing. Maybe Harrington didn’t know he sounded like a Mary, didn’t know that Billy would even imagine it that way.
Still, Billy kept his trigger hand ready as he lay back in the dirt, tugging Harrington’s camp roll from under his pretty little head. Harrington only laughed, propping himself up on his arm.
“I used to know them all,” Harrington’s voice was soft, almost boyish as he looked up at the stars. “But down there, almost at the horizon there, that’s ursa major. And ursa minor, above it, the little cup.”
“Big bear and little bear,” Billy shrugged, his shoulders making an embarrassing scraping sound in the dirt.
Harrington chuckled, “And you call me fancy. You know Latin?”
“Just from church stuff,” Billy huffed.
Harrington paused, and then shifted in the dirt, every noise making Billy’s overactive nerves prickle with fear. He settled down closer to Billy, brushing their pinkies together in the dirt.
“You big into… church, Hargrove?”
Billy wasn’t sure what he was being asked, especially not when Harrington was twisting his fingers into Billy’s stiff palm.
“Not really, Billy said gruffly.
“Me either,” Harrington said. “I prefer other forms of worship.”
Billy cleared his throat, “You know any more? Constellations, I mean.”
“Yeah,” Harrington’s hand feels cool and dry, callouses rasping against Billy’s palm, “Above and to… kinda the left. That’s Hercules.”
“Strong man,” Billy said softly.
“Yes,” Harrington scooted closer in the dirt. Warm breath danced across Billy’s cheek. Harrington wasn’t looking at the stars at all.
Billy felt like he’d wandered into a trap. He could still feel his father’s voice in the back of his soul, telling him it wasn’t right, that Billy wasn’t right. Somehow, a long time ago he’d misunderstood something, and he was still trying to go back and get it right.
“Did I read you wrong?” Harrington said lightly. “I thought…”
Billy sat up quickly, jerking his hand back, “I don’t know what you mean.”
“It’s okay,” Harrington sat up, “Hey, Hargrove, it’s-”
“I don’t know what you’re getting at, Harrington.”
“Keep your fucking voice down,” Harrington leaned forward and laid a finger over Billy’s lips, taking in Billy’s flinch with wide eyes. “I just… like you. I thought if I made some kind of overture you would finally get out of your head about the whole thing.”
“What?” Billy’s voice just came out as a cracked whisper.
“I’ve been hinting,” Harrington raised one scarred brow. “You thought I asked to share the watch with you for what? My health?”
Billy let out a shuddery breath.
“I like you, Hargrove. Thought we could watch the stars until these jackasses go to sleep, and then…” Harrington grinned, the glow of the firelight making him look almost devilish, “At least give me a kiss. Unless you really don’t want to, Sugar. But I think you do…”
It was the same tone as he used on the pretty fillies in town and by God, was it working on Billy.
“Sugar? Ain’t nothing sweet about me, Harrington,” Billy stalled.
Harrington had the nerve to glow, his pretty face lighting up as he licked his lips, “I’ll be the judge of that.”
Billy glanced back at the rest of the camp.
“We’re just lookin’ at the stars right now, Sugar. Nothing to see,” Harrington teased. “Come sit down for a while with me.”
He wasn’t sure if this was a good idea. Actually might be the worst idea he’d ever had.
But there’s never been so fine a thing as Harrington in his grasp. Not with those mooney eyes, that pretty face. His fine way of talking and his cool hand.
He could always sneak off before Harrington had a chance to tell anyone. He spoke Spanish better than any of them, so they’d be stuck holding their dicks while he made his way up North.
So he sat down in the dirt again, and let Harrington take his hand.
Harrington’s eyes were like a cattle brand on the side of his face, but he kept his eyes on the stars.
“My mama used to tell me that the stars were always the same, somethin’ constant. She knew all the names for ‘em,” Billy said, his voice gravel rough. “But… I don’t know.”
“You like constant things, Hargrove.”
“Yeah, I suppose I do.”
“So do I.”
Billy stared up until he felt like his eyes were blurring. Or maybe it was just the smoke from the fire.
“My father’s a powerful man,” Harrington said slowly, “Houses in Boston, Philadelphia, and he’s got a big parcel of land up near Bozeman, just waiting on a big old house to be built.”
“Huh.”
“He had designs on retiring, moving out west. Don’t know why, he’s about the most lily-livered man in all of Massachusetts,” Harrington’s voice wavered, “But he told me when I left, I ruined that because he can’t retire now. Not with no son to inherit.”
Billy frowned, blinking up at the sky, “Where are you going with this, Harrington?”
Harrington sighed, “I’m just sayin’. There’s a big parcel of land in the name of Steven Yancey Harrington, Senior, up in Montana. I just gotta get the money to head up there. Build myself a little place. Something constant in this fucked up world.”
Billy’s eyes prickled.
“I wouldn’t want to do anything but fish all day. Maybe get a chicken or two, sell eggs in the city. Hell, if I got enough money I’d say the hell with my father and build wherever I can find. Head out to the golden shores of California.”
“Sounds nice.”
“It’s gonna be. But it would be nicer with someone there. Maybe someone who knows a little latin, for when I’m a little slow on the uptake,” Harrington laughed.
“You’re not slow,” He searched the skies, wishing they could say what Harrington meant, because he wasn’t sure if he knew. “I feel slow. I hardly know what you’re talking about half the time, Harrington.”
“I’m talking about you and me finding a little slice of constant with each other, Hargrove,” Harrington’s hand tightened a little.
Billy turned towards him at last and Harrington quickly glanced up at the rest of the camp before resting his hand on Billy’s cheek. “I hear there’s an awful lot of stars out in Montana. Man could get lost in a sky so blue. Among other things.”
Billy’s breath stilled in his lungs.
“I like you, Billy.”
“I like you too, Harrington.” It was more air than sound, half carried away by smoke.
Harrington’s breath brushed Billy’s lips, “See, I told you. You’re so sweet. Sweet on me.”
“Shut the fuck up, Harrington.”
“Make me, Sugar.”
It was a cool night out in the plains, just north of Nuevo Paraíso. Their boots made scraping noises in the dirt when they knocked together, hands grasping, tongues tangling. Billy didn’t lose his head but it was a close thing.
Billy never really knew much about the stars. He only cared about what was on earth, what he could hold and grasp. Constant things, like Harrington’s heartbeat under his palm, his sweet taste on Billy’s tongue.
But when he finally pulled back, trying to get his head on right… Harrington had stars in those big brown eyes.
#billy hargrove#harringrove#steve harrington#billy x steve#steve x billy#cowboy au#valentines day fic exchange
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