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#and she goes between being not at all self aware about it
alexkablob · 2 years
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There’s been a lot of discussion about how HotD is making Alicent more complex/sympathetic than her fairly one-note portrayal in F&B but the the same is just as true of Criston Cole who went from “guy who conspires to crown Aegon because Women Bad” to “guy with very good reasons to think that Rhaenyra will abuse her power if she ends up on the throne”.
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forevercloudnine · 2 years
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How do you feel about w/ayne f/amily a/dventures? Its obviously pretty popular in most of the batfam fandom but as someone who seems to enjoy the more complex side of them how do you feel about it?
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I almost blocked my father for repeatedly sending my brother and I WFA panels in our family comics server
#occasionally i am self-aware enough to recognize my intense hatred of WFA as a form of elitism#and that there is nothing inherently wrong with dc cashing in on the legions of batfam fans who like the general concept of the characters#without wanting to read comics or in general learn literally anything about them beyond their most surface level characteristics#but yeah pretty much everything about WFA was tailor made to infuriate me as much as humanly possible#i have unfollowed mutuals for putting it on my dash too often#of course that being said: i have never read it! so i cannot actually speak to its quality as a comic#just as a general concept i have a knee jerk negative reaction to#and i'm also a hypocrite because i did reblog a cassandra + bruce thing from WFA once#but that's just a demonstration of how desperate i am for cassandra favoritism content#i know the opinion of most people who actually read comics is that 'cassandra is bruce's favorite' is a delusion of a subset of batfam fans#but dick grayson getting jealous of cassandra in batgirl (2008) was instrumental to my understanding of the characters#like yes in most functional ways dick is bruce's favorite#and bruce does often value the ways that dick is different from him!!!#but also bruce values his own priorities over All Else and cassandra shares those#and also relates to her in a way he doesn't relate to any of the others#the difference between shared trauma and shared coping mechanisms i guess#however it's also true that these things only come into play when writers remember that cassandra exists#because the average batman writer is only interested in the batboys. like that is undeniable#but idk like the rebirth outsiders run????#when duke confesses something to cassandra and she immediately goes behind his back to tell bruce about it???#even tim would have thought twice before doing that#and that's why cassandra is objectively bruce's favorite. case closed#this no longer has anything to do with wayne family adventures#UNLESS wayne family adventures comes to the same conclusion about bruce and cassandra somehow#anyone who reads wayne family adventures and is somehow reading these tags: please let me know
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barblaz-arts · 1 month
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As someone who ships Chaggie as well, I want your opinion on this.
Someone made a kinda good point about Charlie and Vaggie’s relationship; the point being that there’s a power imbalance between them. Charlie is the princess of hell. She wouldn’t physically loose anything or be hurt physically if she breaks up with Vaggie. But Vaggie would loose both the love of her life and her home and friends if they break off. And so they see this toxic dynamic because Vaggie is “walking on eggshells” in order to stay in Charlie’s favor and not getting on her bad side.
So….thoughts?
The problem is people who say these things treat the terms "power imbalance" and "toxic" and "unhealthy" as the same things when they are not.
There is a power imbalance, yes, definitely. I constantly make jokes about the fact that Charlie and Vaggie have a forbidden love story in a Boss/Employee HR violation kinda way for pete's sake. It's just a lot more funny thinking about the fact that that probably has more weight than the demon/angel situation.
But the thing is, no matter what Charlie will ALWAYS have a power imbalance with whoever she dates because she is literally the princess of Hell, as they have said. Even if she dates a fellow hellborn royal, the fact that Charlie is in a higher position of power will always be a fact because her parents are literally the only ones above that. So what? Should she just not date anyone??? Also, isn't the one has a higher position of power but still loves the other a super popular ship trope? Rich x poor. Royalty x commoner. Goddess/immortal x normal human. Popular in school x the social loser. The list goes on. So why is it a problem now?
The fact that they think Vaggie "walks on eggshells" around Charlie is a bit...? I'm just a little confused you know? Vaggie is definitely not afraid of Charlie. When they had their fallout, she wasn't afraid of losing the things she was dependent on Charlie if they ever broke up(i.e. a home, her safety, money etc) because Vaggie damn well knows Charlie wouldn't do that. Everyone in hell knows Charlie goddamn Morningstar wouldn't do that. Vaggie was merely afraid of losing their relationship, which is a perfectly normal thing to be afraid of. Vaggie's dedication to Charlie isn't rooted in fear, it's rooted in devotion in the name of what she thinks the person she loves deserves.
The thing that makes Chaggie so great despite that power imbalance is the fact that Charlie is an absolute sweetheart. She isn't the kind of person who would take advantage of that power and Vaggie, as someone who knows her so well, is perfectly aware of that. Vaggie is safe with Charlie in every way that matters, and this is where toxicity and the unhealthy elements come into play.
Charlie and Vaggie as individuals have all the ingredients for an unhealthy relationship. As Husk so plainly pointed out, Charlie would rather fix everyone else's problems than help herself. Meanwhile Vaggie has deep self-hatred that seeps into how she feels about everyone but Charlie. They're both the type of people who would rather think about others rather than themselves. This is the root of their codependency, and why their relationship can be quite unhealthy. It's extremely evident with Vaggie, which makes perfect sense since she probably never saw herself as a person before Charlie.
Those flaws can so easily be taken advantage of in a relationship, but the thing is, do they do that? Do either of them think the other ever would? As Rosie did say...
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While Charlie likes to shoulder everyone else's problems, Vaggie looks at the love her life and decides she'll take some of that load so she doesn't get crushed under the weight of the world. Vaggie reels Charlie in by being the realist to Charlie's dreamer. Vaggie used to essentially be Heaven's living weapon, but she has now sworn to be the armor for someone who looks out for everyone but herself.
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On the other hand Vaggie's self-worth is shrewed because she's an ex-soldier who thinks she should always be under someone's service to be deserving of anything. But here Charlie is who constantly calls Vaggie her partner and blatantly treats Vaggie as an equal and still loves Vaggie "more than anything" and doesn't doubt that Vaggie loves her in return even after finding out Vaggie's lie and true origins.
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So are they good for each other? Maybe not, but there's still more of the show to see. They can be unhealthy, but not to the point that being together damages each other in any significant way. Their relationship is imperfect, which is fine. No relationship is. Especially not in fucking HELL. And perfect for a story because, yunno... They are still in an ongoing story. They aren't a lost cause yet. It's something they can develop from, something we can get to SEE them develop from.
Are they toxic though?? Are they harming each other physically, emotionally, sexually, or financially? Definitely not. Because although whether they're good FOR each other still remains to be seen, it is an undeniable fact that they are good TO each other, despite all the ways they could not be. The unhealthy elements are due to how they treat themselves, but their relationship can't be deemed toxic because of how they treat each other. And for now, that's what matters and that's why I love this ship.
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bellejolras · 4 months
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i don’t mean to go on a rant but I’ve been reading reviews of Poor Things bc i hate being happy and ohhhh my goddddd
spoilers under the cut but I have complaints about people’s (lack of) media literacy
Oh my god okay so first of all, if you haven’t seen a movie how are you going to comment on it. Reading summaries and other people’s reviews only is not sufficient to make an original point. you do not know what you’re talking about. just stop.
Second, the movie is. satirical. Which I thought was obvious from the absurd premise and surreal visuals? This is not supposed to be the real world. Nor is it advocating for all the stuff it shows. In fact, it’s even actively indicting some of what it shows. For example: fucked up power dynamics in sexual relationships exist in the movie, but the movie is not saying they are good, it’s criticizing them. Is this not getting through to people?
Third, and related, it’s not ! just ! about ! a sexy baby !! Partly because again, satire. But also partly because she rapidly goes through childhood & adolescent maturity. And it’s not meant to be, like, linear… the regular laws of empirical data and science do not apply to this world… so she is not in fact, like 6 when she’s having sex but more like 16. Which you could argue is still a minor, and im not disputing that, because again the movie is critical of this part and duncan is a total loser. But there’s a massive difference between the mental development of those two ages. ALSO there’s literally nothing inherently wrong with baby bella autonomously discovering masturbation. That’s extremely normal for little kids, often just as a way of self-soothing because it feels nice and not with any awareness of sexuality. And it’s fine if you thought that was a weird scene! but it’s hardly pedophilia to include in the film when the “baby” in question is in fact played by fully grown adult emma stone and I cannot believe that I’m seeing people accuse this movie of that
Fourth, if you claim your takeaway from this movie is “it wants me to believe that women’s power only exists through their sexuality” then I don’t believe you’ve seen the entire movie (see point 1). Narratively it’s only a means to an end for Bella, and when she gets tired of it, she stops! She gets bored of duncan and reads philosophy! She leaves her sex work career and becomes a medical professional! And, even in the sex scenes, while there are many, they center her and her experience, her pleasure. Yes, her tits are out a lot but the sex scenes are weird, intentionally grotesque without being violent. The montage with duncan is shot through a fisheye lens and literally pans away from the bed to focus on a bird landing in the room. Duncan can proclaim himself the best lover in the world, but he’s really not important to the scene ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
In conclusion, I know the people I’m complaining about aren’t going to read this, but just in case, I urge you to learn media literacy. And anyone else who read all of this, thanks lol!! accepting good faith discourse in the notes/replies
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lostyesterday · 6 months
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I’ve been thinking about disabled protagonists in Star Trek recently, which got me thinking about Seven of Nine. It’s interesting because I’m almost certain the writers of Voyager did not intend to write a disabled character, but they ended up accidentally writing one anyway, and one whose arc I find surprisingly compelling as a disabled person myself. Seven is dependent on electronic devices both inside her body and external to it in order to survive and she requires regular medical treatment and specialized adaptations to her environment in order to function. She is absolutely canonically disabled (as are all the other ex-Borg in Star Trek), even if the writers probably weren’t aware of that. The major reason that I think Seven’s arc resonates with me so much is because it reflects a deep tension between independence and dependence that is a fundamental and complex part of so many disabled people’s lives.
To be disabled is to be deeply aware at all times of your own dependence on external things (such as wheelchairs, canes, medications, etc.) and other people. At the same time, to be disabled is to also be deeply aware of the societal standards of independence and self-sufficiency you are constantly failing to live up to. You cannot do things that people are “supposed” to be able to do independently. You need help for basic tasks, and you have no choice but to trust that these external supports you are dependent on will not suddenly disappear, causing you to be unable to participate in society at all. It’s difficult to express to someone who hasn’t experienced it how much being disabled forces someone to consider their own level of dependence and independence constantly, how it becomes a deep part of one’s identity and can often be a source of trauma.
Seven’s arc on Voyager is often focused on the nature of individuality, but it is interesting how often “individuality” becomes a stand-in for independence. Seven’s disability makes her deeply dependent on the crew and resources of Voyager for survival. She could theoretically leave and use her own skills to do maintenance on her implants and install an alcove somewhere to keep herself functioning, but it would be a great risk, and her safety would be constantly in doubt. At the same time, Seven hates this dependence. She tries to rely on other people as little as possible, hating her need for the Doctor to diagnose issues with her implants and refusing to ask for help until she has no other choice. She hates this dependence because she sees it as challenging her ability to become a complete “individual” who is able to make her own autonomous choices. She hates this dependence because it forces her to rely on other people who could at any time abandon her or abuse their power over her.
So it’s far less frightening to pretend this dependence doesn’t exist, to hide it even from herself. Seven’s arrogance in her own abilities, her focus on her intellect and vast knowledge and superior physical abilities are in many ways genuine, especially early on. But at what point does this confidence in her own abilities – this reassurance that she is smart enough and strong enough to control her own destiny and be a true individual – become a coping mechanism to deal with the reality of her dependence on objects and people outside of her direct control?
Seven is told often by members of the Voyager crew that being an individual who makes her own choices and decisions is what she should strive for. And at the same time, those same people often exert control over her, attempting to restrict her autonomy. Janeway or the Doctor tell her that they know better than her what her needs are – that being an individual only goes so far. Seven’s anger at this contradiction is one of my favorite parts of her character, partially because it captures a similar feeling of anger deep inside me when I think about the ways society constantly pressures disabled people to maintain standards of independence impossible to live up to while at the same time deeply restricting our autonomy and freedom.
In the episode “Imperfection”, Seven says that what she wants most is to be useful. To be useful is to be a valuable part of society – someone who is self-sufficient and talented and certainly not deeply dependent on other people for basic survival. To be disabled is to have society constantly demand that you be useful, that you be independent and strong and never let your disabilities limit you. And at the same time, to be disabled is to discover over and over that you can never be that fully autonomous, fully functional human being seen as ideal in society. No matter what you do – no matter how far you run from the truth – it’s an impossible reality to escape.
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harunovella · 10 months
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feel my unconditional love ; t.u.
synopsis: being the fourth wife of tengen uzui must have been the world punishing you for being unmarried at the ripe age of 18; the last in your family to move on... or so you thought.
cw: alternate universe, fourth wife!reader, self isolation, arranged marriage, mentions of violence, near death experience, tengen is just such a good man and husband, reader just needs a big hug, angst, running away, slight slow burn, training, loss of virginity, oral, first time, love confessions, plot twist, happy ending, ambiguous ending, not beta read
wc: 9.4k+
an: my first ever tengen fic! I love this man so very much and it's a shame he's hardly written... a lil side note, the reader goes through mild depression but it isn't stated as such, she just isn't happy with the predicament she's in and is sort of on a self destructive path (self isolation/not eating out of sadness) but I promise there's a happy ending! if it's not your sort of thing, you are more than welcome to ignore the story...
p.s. this is only reader x tengen, the wives are only mentioned throughout the story and have minor interactions with the reader (sorry, not sorry, I want tengen all to myself)
The sound of rain pouring down from the evening showers and colliding with the veranda echoed in your head. You sat with your knees pulled in, gazing out into the dark of the night as the thunderstorm roared. Lightening flashed momentarily before the explosive rumble followed. It wasn't wise to be sitting so close to the rain as the gusts of wind caused the droplets to lightly sprinkle at you and the interior of your room... however, you didn't seem to care. The state of mind you were in wasn't a lovely one. 
It had been less than 24 hours since you became the fourth wife to the retired Hashira, Uzui Tengen. The sound of Mrs. Uzui from outside your room was unsettling and foreign to you whenever someone wanted to speak to you—whether to give you food or check up on you. After all, the second you became a wife, you practically locked yourself away from the rest of the world after, digging yourself deeper into the sorrow you felt. 
You were the youngest and last daughter in your clan who needed to be wedded off. In a family of five sisters, it was expected for you all to be raised into proper housewives. A life you despised. You never wanted this, any of this. You had avoided it for so long. All your sisters married fairly young, between the ages of 15 and 16... you, however, were 18 and managed to add some time. Solely because you were the youngest and everyone was so busy they had nearly forgotten about you... but that didn't last long. 
The moment your clan came to the realization that you were now 18, still unwed and doing nothing, they were quick on their feet. You weren't present for most of the decision making, only aware that a certain clan owed yours and this was the perfect way to clear up the debt. The details were never given to you, why it was that something was owed, but you were told the man you'd marry not only was practically one of the last of his clan, but also already wedded to three other wives. 
That left a bad taste in your mouth. 
How could your family allow this? Tossing you two a man with that many wives? Surely they must've cared some for you.. right? 
Apparently, they did not. 
You were unhappy as it was, but to be a fourth wife to someone? You've heard plenty horror stories of women in marriages such as those. Being used as nothing more than a tool to expand clans, long forgotten once they no longer could produce. Others dying and being disposed of during child labor (or while carrying a child). It terrified you, to say the least. Was that what you were going to end up as? Such a young woman with a who life to live... only for it to be taken from you just because you were seen as a breeding machine?
You cried for days before the wedding. You cried the day of. And you cried right after when you locked yourself up. 
Now? You were exhausted. Your eyes heavy, your body aching to rest, but you just couldn't... no matter what. Even though the ceremony was less than a day ago, you couldn't quite remember the last time you properly slept. You got no more than three to four hours of sleep. You barely ate, too. How were you still functioning? 
Days would come and go, and you'd be the same. Hidden from the others, not showing yourself during meals or, really, anything. The maids would come knocking but you'd never answer. Food was always left outside your door and it was almost always halfway full. You tried to eat, but everything was tasteless to you. The spiral you had found yourself falling into was deadly... even the other wives would try to speak to you, mentioning how worried they were. 
You didn't even know their names. 
Or did you? Maybe it was mentioned at one point. Who knows, you've been on autopilot for a while now. Information goes into one ear and out the other. What have you become?
"I'm worried for her..." Hinatsuru sighed as she sat besides Suma and Makio. "She hasn't come out of there and it's been two weeks..."
"She's hardly touched her meals, I can see the portions get smaller but the plates are never empty," Makio added. 
"Yeah, and ever time I ask her if she'd like to join me whenever I go to the hot springs, she never answers!" Suma frowned as Makio shot her a glare. 
"Why the hell would she want to do that if she's been avoiding all of us?!" The black and yellow haired woman growled as Suma's frown deepened. 
"I don't blame her," Tengen sighed as he was sat before them in their garden. "She was forced into something she didn't want. She's the youngest of her clan, people's mindsets change. Generations move away from the old ways. And I'm sure the idea of me having three wives already left a bad taste in her mouth. She wasn't raised in an environment like ours."
Eyeing the white haired man, Hinatsuru settled her hands on her knees, "maybe you should try and talk to her... I feel bad for the poor girl. She hardly knows anything about us and who knows what her clan has fed her. She's scared and I don't think she'd be willing to ever come out if we don't try... Especially you, Lord Tengen."
You were trying your best to eat a little more than you had the day before, no matter how much your body was refusing, even if it screamed for it just as badly. The sound a knock made you flinch slightly before you settled the warm bowl down beside you, muttering a small who is it? as you sat on the tatami matting. 
"It's me," though you didn't hear much of him, you knew who it was. There wasn't much male voices around anyway. "May I come in?"
Considering it, seeing as you haven't really seen or spoken to someone in quite some time—losing track—you gulped. "Okay..." you mumbled, fiddling with the sleeves of your kimono. 
Sliding the door open, unsure what to expect, Tengen peeked in and spotted your small frame in the corner of the room, tray of picked at food beside you as your gaze went out beyond the veranda. You were alive, obviously so, and you weren't... destructive. The room looked as if it was hardly even lived in, but by the looks of it, you managed to at least keep up with yourself. At least, for your hygiene. As much as you avoided everyone, he was told that you would leave the room rather late at night to bathe and clean up before going back to locking yourself in. However... you weren't eating much and it was a major concern. You did eat some, you managed to get food in your belly, but you never properly finished your meals. 
Feeling his lingering presence, you turned your head to face the towering man who was still at the threshold. There was clear concern on his face, the way he had eyed his surroundings with a faint furrow of his eyebrows... Then, he looked at you, and you were sure he noticed the dark circles and the subtle redness in your eyes from your lack of sleep and tears. You had gotten a little better within the time that has progressed, seeing as you were at least never truly bothered or forced to do anything... but you still struggled and you were still scared. 
"You know, you are more than welcome to treat this home as your own. It is, after all, yours as much as it is mine," Tengen spoke up, eyeing you, but you stayed silent and looked away. He watched as you pulled your knees in and gazed out at the stars. It was a clear night this time around. Looking down at your tray, seeing you ate a bit more than usual, Tengen took in a quiet, deep breath. "We are all here for you if you need anything..." At that, he left. Not a word uttered from you nor a look back. 
This was going to be much more difficult than he had thought. 
You were going to run away. That's what you decided when you nearly struck a month of being a married woman living in her own isolation. You were tired of being locked away out of fear and all that you filled your head with. You wanted to live your dream of traveling the world and being a free woman, no longer shackled to her family and the old ways of life. 
You were eating more, slept a bit more, maybe it was because you had been scheming to sneak away and disappear for good. Maybe you were excited. Maybe you've completely lost your mind. Whatever it was, it gave you enough courage to do what you were doing now. Since no one really forced their way into your space, leaving you be, no one was aware of what you had in mind. You also weren't aware either, as the world was so vast and you knew so little. But you wanted to do it. You wanted to run, to run so far, to see it all. To see what other lands were like. To feel the wind, to watch the ocean roll onto the shore. Everything and more. A life for yourself that you deserved. 
After all, what more could a young woman want? It wasn't like you thought of the consequences of such actions. You were begging to live in a vivid dream, away from the nightmare your parents brought you into. 
It wasn't hard to leave the premises of the Uzui estate. You managed to slip out late at night, later than when you'd bathe. You wore something more suitable than what you normally wore, clothing to allow for more movement. A small bag was slung over your shoulder and onto your back as you made your way out and nearly sprinted on ahead. You were foolish, that was given, but you wouldn't admit that. It would bite you on the ass for being so brainless... but that wasn't of your concern. 
At least, not yet. 
All you thought about was the cold, night air patting your exposed skin. How strands of your hair that flew from its braid tickled at your cheeks. The way you felt the grass crunch beneath your feet as the moonlight guided your path. You held a compass in one hand, deciding to go North West, in hopes to run into something along the way. 
As your feet pulled you along, you kept your guard up. Sure, traveling alone at night never was wise, but you weren't about to walk out of the residence in broad daylight for everyone to see. This was a huge risk you were willing to take, and, again... you were foolish. You were well aware of demons, aware that your husband was once a destroyer of their kind, so of course you believed yourself to be fine. Wasn't like you'd get caught up in a mess, right? What were the odds, anyway?
The trio decided to leave you your dinner again, all three wives deciding to make the effort into visiting your room more often than not to at least know you were alright and alive in there. None of them blamed you for how you felt... even if a month had passed. Hinatsuru was always the one to knock first and announce the delivery of your food, while Makio listed what was available on the tray, followed by Suma offering (once again) to go to the springs together. It almost became a daily routine for them, seeing as you were now one of them, they wanted nothing more but to help you feel at home. Or, at least, try to. If you'd let them...
On the night of your "escape" from the estate, Tengen felt the odd desire to check on you. It was something he did often, once a day at least—and, if not—every other day. He stood from his seat amongst his wives suddenly, excusing himself without an explanation as he aimed for your room within the Uzui grounds. There was a sense of urgency, and his gut instincts never failed him. 
Tapping his knuckles on your shoji, Tengen called your name. As the seconds pass, and he'd call your name repetitively, his tone became one of urgency. Slight panic began to build within his chest, his eyebrows furrowed as you didn't answer. No matter what, you always responded to his knocks. 
Sliding the partition open, Tengen searched the area before stepping in. Nothing was out of place, everything was as they were each and every time he'd visit. Taking a few steps towards the veranda and peeking out, there was no sight of you.
Sucking in a sharp breath as he felt his heart race, Tengen searched every inch of his home, places you'd usually be at this hour of night. Yet, you were nowhere to be found. 
Taking in sharp breaths as he clenched and unclenched his fist, he eagerly returned to his wives, words slipping off his tongue faster than he could process them, "she's run away."
"What?!" The three grasped in unison. 
"Where could she be?!" Suma shrieked. 
"It's not safe out there, especially at this hour!" Makio added. 
Frowning in worry, Hinatsuru placed a hand on the man's arm, giving it a small squeeze of urgency, "you must find her... she could be in danger right now for all we know."
You weren't bright. That was a given. You were still a teenager, though considered an adult, you just barely lived two decades of your life. Of course things would go bad for you, of course the universe wasn't kind to those who failed to use logic and took advantage. Now in a state of fear, you felt guilty. You should've stayed, right? It wasn't like you were being forced to do anything, all of those horror stories weren't true. At least, not for you. Tengen never forced you to procreate with him, his wives were constantly reaching out to you, everyone was so kind... yet here you are, running for your life because you chose to run away. A foolish child you were. If you died right now, it would be your fault. No one else to blame. 
Tears slid down your cheeks as you tried everything in your power to escape, to survive. What made you think this was a wise idea to run away, especially so late at night? You had no set of skills to protect yourself. You were raised to be a housewife, not wield a sword! You had no survival skills, only basic instincts. Of course you knew you had to do something to get away, yet all you could think about was to run and to hide. 
And running and hiding could only get you so far. 
You found yourself in the grip of a grotesque demon, ready to sink its sharp teeth into your flesh and rip you into pieces. To make you it's dinner. You were going to become another victim, another soul lost to the damned. You sobbed and begged for help as the multi-armed being gripped and felt nearly every inch of you, it's nasty slobbering echoing in your ears as it barred it's fangs. You shoved and kicked, thrashed and begged for a way out. Using your own teeth to bite down, it granted you a few moments of escape, reaching out for a sharp piece of metal scrap on the ground, stabbing it into the creatures eye. 
The shriek it released made you cover your ears and hiss in pain. Loud ringing bounced within your head as you tried to get back up on your feet to escape, but it was too quick. It latched onto your ankle and tugged you back as you kicked and shoved at it. It pressed its weight against you, nearly suffocating you as it trapped you beneath it, sinking its razor sharp teeth into your neck as a gruesome scream left your mouth. 
Kicking and slapping, trying to shove the demon off of you as your blood began to gush down your neck and pool beneath you, your vision began to blur. Your screams grew faint as your body fell weak. The moon was bright above you, no cloud to block it from your sight. It almost felt as if it were mocking you, reminding you of what you left behind; a home, a husband who wasn't trying to take advantage of you, and people who tried to reach out. 
Why were you so inconsiderate? Why must you be so selfish? Look where you ended up! Bleeding to death by the teeth of a demon, ready to devour you and no one would know. No one would figure out what had happened and the demon would live to see another night. Another victim. Another soul taken. 
You closed your eyes for a moment, begging, pleading to the universe, for one last chance. For freedom, freedom away from the hands of death. 
You apologized for everything, for your selfishness, for being ungrateful. You quietly begged and begged and begged for a second chance. For a way out of this, even if it was just to apologize to Tengen and his wives, to thank them for their hospitality even if you kept yourself rudely locked away for so long. 
Just one more chance. Just one more time to do things right. To live my life. 
Opening your watery eyes once more, the sound of chains and the sight of the demons head being sliced right off of its neck came into view. Your heavy eyes blinked a few times, wondering if you imagined it. Before you could process it, you were lifted off the ground, away from the demon that turned into nothing but dust. The distant sound of your name being called had you weakly searching for its source as you slipped in and out of consciousness. The sight of Tengen's face, mouth uttering words, was all you saw before your world turned black. 
The sound of nature was all you could process. Birds chirping as the wind rustled through tree leaves, hummed in the distance. Your body felt heavy, your eyes barely able to flutter open. This must be the afterlife. You must've died. As far as you could remember, you were bleeding to death at the hands of a demon. 
Forcing your eyes open as you took in deep breaths, you felt blinded by the brightness, lifting a weak arm to cover the glare. Your eyes began to adjust as you blinked a few times before lowering you arm. Everything slowly came into view. A familiar ceiling sat above you before three recognizable faces peeked at you. 
I'm alive?
A collective sigh was heard, relief washing over the faces of the women studying you before two of them stood up and rushed away. One stayed behind. Your vision was blurry, but you could make out who it was. 
"Oh, we were so worried..." Hinatsuru said in a breathy tone as she placed a hand on her chest. "Especially Lord Tengen..."
Before you could even try to respond, the sound of the shoji sliding open and rapid footsteps caused you to turn your head. A large figure knelt beside you, uttering for the women around you to give him a moment alone with you. Your vision was still quite off, but the more you blinked, the more clear it became for you. 
It was Tengen, the women that were once around you were clearly his other wives... and you were back in his home. Your home. Alive and bandaged up. How did you survive? You were sure you were going to die from blood loss if the demon didn't get to you. Slowly sitting up with a wince as Tengen carefully watched you, scooting closer as he kept an eye on your figure, you held your kimono closed as you gently touched your once wounded neck. 
"Why did you run?" Was the first question he asked, even if he knew the answer. 
"I didn't want to be a wife," you spoke, voice hoarse. "Never wanted to be another number... I wanted freedom for so long... I just wanted to feel alive..." You confessed as tears pricked your eyes, trickling down your cheeks slowly as you kept your gaze low. 
Gently, Tengen's hand cupped your cheek as his thumb wiped away your tears. A gesture so innocent, making your heart flutter within your chest. Something you probably would've flinched away from, if it wasn't for this man seemed to have genuinely cared for you. "I'm sorry for what you've been put through."
Shaking your head, you muttered, "it's not your fault. It never was. You've been so kind to me... and so have your wives... I was selfish to run away and not appreciate what I had. Though it was a life I didn't want... it was better than being held in a marriage with someone who could care less if I died the next day..." Sighing, you turned your head to look at him. "I didn't want to just be a wife... I've never wanted that life."
A small smile grew on Tengen's lips, the sweetest you had ever seen on any man. His hand reached up to caress your hair, gently stroking your loose locks before falling back and settling on your cheek. "I will come up with a plan."
"What?" You gasped, caught off guard as you stared at him and his maroon eyes. 
"I would never force you into something you don't want... but you are still my wife," he said as you blinked. "As my wife, I want you to be happy. Even if that means being away from me—"
"Lord—"
"Allow me to get to know you better and help you find your peace."
Gazing at him, you gave him a small nod. Little did you know the man you'd marry, would be one of the very few people you'd trust with your life. 
You started a new routine with Tengen as the weeks passed since your encounter with that demon. Your husband would visit you daily, joining you on the veranda as you shared small talk, truly getting to know one another. It was nice, to say the least, and the man you married was very intriguing. He practically gave you his life story, you learned so much about him; his clan, and his time as a Hashira. He was impressive. Skilled, intelligent, and beyond kind. You couldn't help but admire him for the achievements he's made in his life—for a man only in his 20s. 
On the other hand, you were still quite reserved. You broke out of your shell, little by little. As the two of you went on walks together around the estate, relaxing in the garden, you found yourself slowly opening up to him. With his wives, you were still quite timid, but you tried your best to be kind and acknowledge their sweet hello's and respectful bows—something they very much appreciated. 
On one of your shared moments with Tengen, an evening after dinner you had with him, alone on your veranda, you told him how you'd love to travel the world. Tengen had never seen you look so hopeful, a dreamy expression written across your face. He couldn't deny you of your dream, instead, telling you he'd help you figure things out. No matter what it took. 
A little over a month had passed and you were a different person. You smiled more and showed your face more often than not. Although still a bit antisocial and enjoying your alone time, you'd be lying if you said you didn't enjoy Tengen's company. Actually, you very much appreciated it. You liked having him around, so close to you. Someone you considered a dear friend, even if he was your husband. He was starting to take place in your heart, and the idea of you eventually making your way out in the world was a tad bit dreadful. Even if you knew he'd always welcome you home with open arms. 
You were growing attached. 
One day as you were sitting in the garden, piecing together a flower crown of sorts, Tengen offered you his golden plan: join you on your journey of freedom until you were ready to set off on your own. Whether it was a week or a month, he'd partake and make sure you could handle it. At first you were hesitant, not wanting to take him away from his other wives, but he insisted he'd do so (especially since he, too, was growing attached). He didn't want you discovering the world without any sort of self defense, either. Especially with demons lurking in the shadows. 
After much thought, you agreed with subtle excitement. The two of you planned out your upcoming travels and how he'd train you. Even with a missing hand, Tengen was still a flawless fighter. He truly was impressive—you would soon learn as your self defense training was going to be a big part of your days to come. 
"I will return in a few weeks," Tengen announced to his wives as he said his goodbyes. Hinatsuru always was the calmest, but Suma always took it the hardest—which lead Makio to scold her. It was nothing new to Tengen, but for you, it was quite the eye opener. 
Before you were ready to begin your journey ahead, the three women handed you little parting gifts. They gave you tight, warm hugs, and words of encouragement. They begged for you to visit often and to not stay too far for long. You thanked them for their warm hearts and hospitality, forever grateful for their kindness. 
Though this new chapter of your life may be terrifying, you were looking forward to starting it with Tengen by your side. 
You were skilled. Beyond skilled. Tengen didn't expect you to be so... easy to train. It was as if it were in your bloodline to be so graceful. The moment he allowed you to practice with weapons, seeing how you were a natural, Tengen made a mental note—one he'd eventually use to recall information that your clan was in fact once fighters. One of the reasons why you were married off to the Uzui. 
On one of your nights out before a fire, Tengen had informed you of what he knew about your clan's past. It caught you off guard, amazed it was in your bloodline even if it was practically a dead practice for your own family.... It was starting to make sense. When Tengen started explaining breathing techniques, and the many that existed—including his own that he had been teaching you—he wondered what your clan's once was. 
Nights continued to pass, you stayed in various inns in separate rooms, and sometimes you stayed outside. When it came to outside, you usually rested against a tree as Tengen kept watch, but as time passed, you grew more comfortable with leaning against him—same went for the inns. You slept on separate futons, but within the same room. Tengen easily caught on to how you grew more confident in your relationship with him; standing and walking closer to him, becoming affectionate with simple touches and grazes of your hand. It made him happy—happier. 
Especially when he started to realize how much he had been falling for you... Which made him wonder, were you starting to feel the same?
He tested the waters one day on your shared journey, surprising you with a small gift. You weren't sure how or when he had done it, but when he handed you a small box with a necklace in it, you were in awe... but what had you blushing was the fact that the jewel at the center was one of his very own that he once had attached to his headband during his Hashira days. 
You denied it at first, saying he couldn't give it to you, but Tengen insisted he wanted you to carry a piece of him with you. He so kindly placed the necklace on you, his fingertips grazing your skin as you shivered, body growing hot. A subtle silence grew between the two of you when you turned around to show him it, and the look on his face made you flustered. Sure, Tengen was an attractive man, but after all this time of getting so close to him and becoming so attached... it was hard not to feel a change in the air that you two shared. 
Ever since then, things haven't been the same. Not for the worst, but... it wasn't something you were accustomed to. You weren't used to this sort of attention nor the desire sitting within the pit of your stomach and the depths of your heart. It was an odd sensation, a feeling like no other. The way your heart raced when he looked at you, how your skin tingled whenever he touched you... the way your body reacted whenever he was closer than he should be. Sure, you were one of his wives and a lack of boundaries was expected, but it still had your whole being trembling. 
If you knew any better, you would realize that you had fallen in love. Not with his looks (though he was a looker) but with him. His personality, his way of being, his (not so) simple existence in the universe. Every little thing he did, whether it was for you or for others. How he handled you when it came to little things like taking shelter from thunder storms or making sure you were comfortable when you had to rest. You were one of his wives, it was expected, but there was something there between you two that you were sure was unique to only you two. And Tengen felt it, too.
Probably why your final night was so painful, to the point you both drowned yourself in (what felt like) endless sake and the warmth of the hot springs. Neither of you wanted to think about your last moments together until... whenever you made a return. If you decided to at all. This was what you wanted, to see the world, to be free... but after growing so attached, so accustomed to Tengen's existence by your side, you knew it was going to feel off. As if you were imbalanced. 
You were too deep in thought to even realize how close Tengen got as you sat in the soothing pool of steaming water. "I haven't had a night like this in forever..." he sighed, looking up at the stars.
Turning your flustered face in his direction, taking a moment to eye the stars above, your focus settled on him once again. Your eyes trailed his stunning features—gazing at his loose strands of ivory locks, those fucsia eyes... his sharp nose, the golden hoops on his earlobes... and those lips of his that settled in its usual grin. He was so handsome, it pained you to look at him. It didn't help that you two were sharing a bath and all you had separating you both was the water and the towels around your body. 
Tengen's chest was on full display, something you had seen a number of times as he was very proud of his physique; he always found a way to show off his muscles—not like you had a reason to complain, anyway. He sat there, in all his glory, arms spread out beside him as he leaned his back against the pool's wall. 
"It's lovely..." You spoke up, swallowing the small lump in your throat. You tried to look away, not wanting to stare for too long, but it was hard to... Tengen was just so handsome.
Lowering his focus from the dark sky that glittered with stars, towards you, Tengen watched as those innocent eyes of yours fluttered from his chest, to his eyes, down to his lips, then switched between the two. He couldn't help but grin. If you weren't making it so painfully obvious, he wouldn't have been there with you in that moment, sitting so close that he could almost feel your body heat instead of the warm water. "It is, but not as lovely as the view I have."
Flickering your eyes back up to meet his own, your heart skipped a beat as he so casually leaned in towards you and brought his hand up to caress your cheek. A subtle gasp left you before you looked away, flustered and trembling at his words, only for Tengen to gently keep your head in place. 
"Rather cheesy, wasn't that?" He winked as your heart dropped down to your feet. 
"Just— Just a tad bit..." you stuttered, eyes dancing between his own as he did the same to you. "But... But I like it..."
Smiling, Tengen leaned in a bit more, his nose just barely grazing your own as his voice came out smooth, almost a whisper. "Then, may I kiss you?"
Almost, as if without hesitation, you nodded. A breathy answer leaving you as you, yourself, grew closer to him, closing the gap between the two of you as his lips softly met your own. 
It started off so gentle, the sweet taste of his lips against yours. A small press before you parted, taking in a small breath before Tengen's hand held the back of your neck, fingertips entangling themselves with the loose strands that escaped from your updo. With a small tug, your lips met his once again, except with a different desire. His tongue grazed your bottom lip, pushing past and pressing against your teeth. Your own parted, allowing him entrance to slip through. Gliding his tongue over yours ever so expertly, involuntary moans left you as you felt the muscle press and slither against your own. 
Bringing you closer as his hand slid down to your lower back, you found yourself holding your towel closed while your other hand moved into his hair. Pressing against the back of his head and tugging gently, the two of you breathed each other in, panting and huffing in between kisses. You weren't sure what it was, maybe it was the sake... or maybe you just wanted this along. The gravitational pull you felt towards Tengen was something you never felt before, a tug unlike any other. It made your insides twist, your heart race, and a sudden warmth fill you. 
Shifting his kisses away from your lips as you tried chasing after them, he left small pecks against the corner of your mouth. Your cheek and along your jaw, down your neck until he found that sweet spot that made you tremble. He nipped and sucked at your smooth skin, leaving marks in his wake as he left a trail of hickeys along your shoulder and chest. 
Tengen moved dangerously low, open mouthed kisses against the swell of your breasts, up until the edge of your towel. Your grip tightened against the material as your other tugged at his locks, as if trying to pull him away, only for your back to curve towards him. You knew you should stop, even if the pool was private for the two of you, you had never done anything like this before. You were excited and nervous all the same, body so desperately desiring him after all those shared nights. 
Lifting his head and looking up at you with hooded eyes as your blooded rushed in your body, Tengen kissed your cheek before guiding you out of the water and back to your shared room. He kept his arm wrapped around you as he had you pressed against his side, kissing your cheek and along your neck. Tengen didn't bother to close the shoji behind him, his body already finding yours as the two of you lied against the tatami mat. He hovered over you, his large frame enveloping your own as he sweetly smiled down at you, "beautiful..."
Blushing, you took in a sharp breath before he placed a gentle kiss against your lips. "You're so handsome..." You shyly mumbled as Tengen let out a small chuckle. 
Lowering his head to nuzzle your neck, he pressed small kisses before lifting his head once again, "do you want to continue this?"
Taking in a deep breath, you nodded before cupping his cheeks, "yes... I trust you. You— You are my husband after all."
Eyeing you, seeing the sureness in your eyes even if you were trembling, Tengen kissed you once more before he sat up. With you settled between his knees as he leaned onto his heels, he reached for your towel. Eyeing you as you nodded he slid back before pulling open your towel, revealing your bare body. Naturally, you went to cover yourself, but Tengen caught one of your hands. "It's alright," he softly spoke, kissing your knuckles one at a time. "My beautiful wife..."
Lowering your hand, Tengen leaned down towards you, kissing down your neck ever so slowly. Then he kissed from one shoulder to the other, against either of your breasts, the valley between them, and along your stomach. He kissed your hip bones before licking a stripe up the side of your body, stopping at your right breast. Lifting his eyes to meet your own as you shivered, Tengen twirled his tongue around your nipple before bringing it into his mouth. A squeak left your parted lips as your chest quickly rose and fell. With every suck and nip, Tengen gave both of your breasts equal attention, leaving a trail of his saliva behind, a string connecting your left nipple to his lips as he lifted his head. 
The smile he wore made your heart race faster, a look of ecstasy written across his face... you could only imagine what his expression would be once he—
A yelp left you as his mouth was against your bare pussy, too lost in your hazed mind to even notice when he had moved down. Tengen pressed a kiss against your lower lips before his tongue parted your folds, a shiver running down your spine as it met your clit. "What I'd give to have both hands now."
"T—" before you could whine, his tongue swirled around your sensitive bundle of nerves before moving to tease your entrance. Your hands slid into his locks as your legs wrapped over his  shoulders. Burying his face deeper against your aching cunt, you felt the way Tengen's open mouth began to devour you, tasting every bit you had to offer. The sweetness of your dripping heat that made him moan with anticipation as his hips bucked. 
Feeling his tongue prod your entrance as a whimper left you, Tengen's arms wrapped around your thighs, fingers digging into your skin as he pulled your leg further apart. Lapping up your excitement, teasing your clit, pushing past your entrance and devouring your sinful sounds. Your panting filled the air, your eyes nearly rolled back as your head fell towards the mat beneath you. 
He couldn't get enough of you; he couldn't get enough of the sounds you made, how your thighs pressed against his head and your cunt dripped for him. "Have you ever come before?"
Gulping, you shook your head, face burning in embarrassment. "N— No..."
Lifting his head enough, Tengen kissed your inner thigh, "there's nothing to be ashamed of, my sweet wife. It only means I'm lucky enough to be there with you to experience it—to be the reason."
Opening your teary eyes as you looked at him, Tengen gave you a reassuring smile before you felt one of his fingers tease your entrance before slowly filling you. Your heart skipped a beat, breath hitching as he pumped his finger a few times before adding another. His lips latched against your clit as his fingers massaged your inner walls, reaching depths within you that made your body shiver and shake. A feeling filled you, a burning unlike any other as your breathing grew rapid and moans became louder. 
A white hot heat filled you, your eyes squeezed shut as your fingers nearly yanked at his hair. You were shaking as you came, Tengen continuing his ministrations before pulling out and lifting his fingers covered in your essence. Sitting up and spreading them to show you the mess you made, Tengen brought his fingers into his mouth, tongue lapping up your release before his lips met yours. 
You winced at the foreign taste the moment his tongue made contact with your own, a slow, sultry kiss before he reached to remove his own towel. "You'll be alright," he muttered against your lips as he sat up, bringing your legs over his thighs. His hand caressed your thigh as you were still processing the euphoria you just experienced. "We'll do this slowly, okay?"
Gulping, your hooded eyes fluttered open as they trailed down his chest, towards his toned stomach, past the patch of white hair that lead to his hardened length. Your heart dropped at the sight, a gasp leaving your lips as your eyes widened. "I— I... You— You are so big... I don't know if—"
"It's alright," he reassured, giving your thigh a small squeeze. "You'll be alright, like I said, we'll take things slow."
Nodding as your heart raced, Tengen brought his hand to his cock, giving it a few strokes, coating it with your juices before he aligned it with your opening. He could hear the way your breathing quickened, felt how your thighs pressed against him. He spoke softly, continuously reassuring you as he slowly filled you. With just the tip, your chest heaved and your hands tried clinging onto something, clawing at the mat beneath you. 
Pushing in further and further, biting his tongue as his body burned, Tengen took in shallow breaths at your tightness. The way you squeezed him, how your cunt was sucking him in... The sounds of your shared, heavy breathing filled the air, soon followed by heavy moans and skin slapping the moment he thrusted into you. Whimpers and cries of his name left your lips as your hands flew to his shoulders, nails digging into his skin before clawing at his back as he hunched over you. Your legs wrapped around his waist, keeping him close as he thrusted at a rhythmic pace. 
"T— Tengen— Too— Too big!" You whimpered, tears pricking your eyes at the dangerous stretch. The discomfort was overpowered by your pleasure. You weren't sure how much of him filled you, but you were positive he wasn't even all the way in. "Too— Too—" 
"It's okay, it's okay, my love... It's okay," he reassured, body breaking out into a sweat as his hips bucked against you, pushing deeper and deeper as you cried out. With each shift of his hips as he pulled out, your pussy sucked him right back in. "It's like we're... meant for... each other," he breathed, a hiss leaving his lips. He wanted to fuck you, fuck you deeply, fuck you until you couldn't walk... but he knew, he knew it was your first time. He knew this was your last moments together before you went your own way, and as much as he wanted to leave you with an everlasting memory of his cock imprinted on your cervix where no other man could possibly reach, Tengen stopped himself. He wanted you to never forget this moment, obviously so, but he also wanted it to be a moment you enjoyed as much as he did—especially for your first time. 
Thrusting in and out of you, pushing deeper each time as you squirmed and cried, begging him to move faster—telling him he was too big—your body wrapped around his and kept him sheathed within you. You felt your second orgasm building within you as Tengen's fingers rubbed circles against your clit. Your breathing against his ear was almost enough to make him come then and there as you shook in your release. Your pussy fluttered against him as your body practically went into shock. You felt it from head to toe, your body tensing around him as a cry left your lips, his name coming out as a desperate moan. 
Continuously thrusting his hips, ready to pull out, your legs wrapped tighter around him, keeping him deep within you as you milked him for all his worth. He weakly called your name, body shaking above your own as he nearly collapsed against you. "Sh— Shit..." Tengen grunted as he filled you with his seed, coming deep inside as you kept him close. 
Your bodies were already drenched as it was, but the sweat practically made you stick to one another as his massive body flopped against your own. You could barely breathe as it was, but with his weight against you, you nearly suffocated... and yet it felt so nice. You didn't want him to leave, you didn't want to leave. You just wanted to stay like that, there with him, in that moment. A moment so intimate, one you didn't want to end; one that you once feared. Now it was something you knew you'd never forget. 
Tears brimmed your eyes as your bottom lip trembled. Your hands fell to your face as Tengen lifted his head to eye you. "Hey, did I hurt you? Are you okay?"
"N— No... It's not— It's not you..." you mumbled. "I'm sorry, I..."
"Hey..." he hushed you, kissing your tears away. "It's okay, it's okay... I'm sorry if you regret this—"
"No!" You shook your head. "Never! I— I... It's just, tomorrow we... we go our separate ways and— and I feel as if... I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing?" He asked, eyeing you with the kindest smile. "You are my wife, are you not?"
Nodding your head with a pout, Tengen nuzzled your neck before leaving a sweet kiss against it. "I am..."
"There's nothing to be sorry for, all that matters to me is that you're happy... and that you enjoyed it..." he said, almost questioning whether or not you did. 
"I did," you softly smiled. "I'm happy to have had my first time with you... I've never trusted anyone more..."
Grinning, Tengen shook his head, "I'm sorry for the man who follows after me.  Whoever wins your heart will never be like me."
"Tengen..." You whined, only to earn a chuckle from him. "I won't forget any of this, that's for sure."
"I'm glad," he smiled, gazing down at you, "because neither will I..."
Eyeing him as a silence filled the room, you reached up and caressed his forehead, ran your fingers through his hair, and cupped his cheek, "thank you."
Turning to kiss your palm, Tengen mumbled against it, "thank you."
"You'll always have a home with me," Tengen said as he stood in front of you, caressing your cheek as you leaned your head into his palm. "I can't say I won't miss you, because I know I'll be missing you dearly. We've grown so close... but I want nothing but the best for you. I want you to be happy, to find yourself, to live your life... But I hope some day, maybe you'll... come back to me..."
Smiling up at him, you nodded. "You've done so much for me, I don't think I could stay away from you forever. I appreciate you... and you have my endless gratitude."
Eyeing you, he sighed before leaning his forehead against yours, "if you ever have regrets... if you ever want to come back home... don't hesitate to reach out. I'll always welcome you back with open arms."
Sighing as you took a moment to enjoy his close proximity, you gently pushed back and cupped his face. "Thank you."
Eyeing you, Tengen gently kissed you before he stood straight. "I have one more thing to give you..."
Watching him with furrowed brows, he handed you one of his blades; the chain snatched and now dangling from the one he held towards you. "You— You can't."
"Please, have it. It'll only give me piece of mind knowing you have something to protect you... And also a way to never forget me... A way to eventually come back to me..." he said, handing it over. Tengen's swords weren't easy to hold, made for a man his size, but with one less attached... it was a bit easier to manage. 
"It's... big..." You said, earning a chuckle from him. 
"You can manage with big things," he winked as you blushed. "I have no doubts."
Sighing, you moved to wrap your arms around him, hugging him tight for a moment or two, breathing him in one last time. "Thank you..."
Hugging you back, Tengen kissed the top of your head before you pulled away and turned to part from him. Just before you could get too far, Tengen caught your wrist and tugged you back to him, planting a deep, sentimental kiss against your lips. An ever lasting one filled with sadness. He let go, forcing himself to peel away from you as he slowly let go of your wrist, studying you and every bit of your face once more. "I'll always love you... you'll always be my wife and will always have a place in my heart."
Smiling up at him with tearful eyes, you gulped, "I— I will always love you." Not wanting to stay any longer as you knew you'd break easily if you looked at him for a second more, you turned and began your trek. 
Tengen watched with a heavy heart, waving as you turned for a moment to say your final goodbye. There was in ache in his chest, a sadness filling him. You left a mark on him, a big one at that. You would never be forgotten. As much as he loved and adored all of his wives... there was something about you that made his chest feel different. A love unlike any other. Something he feels as if he couldn't have... But he prayed. He prayed that some day... your paths would meet again. 
* FIVE YEARS LATER *
"Tenchi!" A voice called out amongst the many. Tengen found himself at a local market during his travels, visiting his beloved disciples, before returning home. "Tenchi!"
"I'm right here, mama!" A gentle, little voice came out as Tengen's focus shifted from the fresh produce before him, over to a small boy. "Look what I found!" Softly smiling at the sight of the youngling—easily 5 years old—hold up something with excitement, Tengen's eyebrows narrowed for a moment. 
That's oddly similar... He thought as his attention was settled on the whiteness of the small boy's hair that had a headband wrapped around it. "Okay, but only one, alright? And don't run off like that again, you had me worried..."
"Sorry, mama..."
"It's okay, baby."
Snapping out of his daze, Tengen watched as the little boy hugged the kneeling figure before him. He couldn't quite see who it was from the passing bodies, but as the woman stood up, the retired Hashira's heart skipped a beat. "It's..." his breath hitched as his eyes made contact. 
It was you. 
Blinking a few times at the sight, you sweetly smiled with a small wave, earning a bright one from him. Tengen didn't hesitate, he made a beeline for you, stopping and towering your figure as happiness filled his veins. "You... It's really you..." he nearly whispered. He hadn't seen you since you parted ways five years prior. It wasn't like you lost contact, you wrote him letters as he did the same to you every now and then. He was aware you were alive and well, as you were of him... but seeing you in the flesh? That was something else all together. Could he kiss you? Could he hug you? It'd been so long, he didn't know what his boundaries were. 
Smiling up at him, you felt the small figure tug on you as they hid behind you. Your son shyly peeking out from behind as he eyed the giant man standing before you. "It's me," you nodded, heart fluttering as you took Tengen in. How he hardly changed, still as flashy as ever. His hair had grown more, but it was clearly being maintained with the layers being trimmed. His eyepatch still bedazzled, his nails still painted... You couldn't expect anything less, this was Tengen Uzui after all— the supposed god of festivals. "You haven't changed a bit."
"Gotta live a flashy life, keeps me young," he winked as you chuckled. He reached for your hand, bringing your knuckles to his lips as he pressed a kiss. He didn't miss the blush on your cheeks or the way your eyes had slightly widened. There was no doubt in his mind that you were saving face, your reaction seemed composed. "It's really good to see you. How have you been?"
"Yeah... I'm good. We're good," you nodded as you moved slightly to present the little boy that clung to you. Tengen's eyes lowered to the white haired boy, instantly recognizing those eyes... His heart skipped a beat the moment he recognized those features... "This is my son, Tenchi."
"Son?" He nearly choked, catching himself as he kept his own composure. Of course this was your son, he should've put two and two together. But not once have you mentioned it before in your letters... And who else could possibly be the father if—
"Yes," you slightly smiled. "Honey, say hi."
Looking up, Tenchi clung to you as his grip tightened around you. He watched as the large man moved down to kneel. "Hello..."
"Hi, Tenchi," Tengen smiled. "I'm Tengen Uzui. The flashiest man on the entire planet. And a great friend of your mothers," he proudly stated as you blushed. A small gasp left little Tenchi. 
"I know your name!" He exclaimed as Tengen lifted his brows before smirking. 
"Oh? Is that so?" The man asked. 
"You are mama's hero! Her trainer and gave her that big sword!" The little boy gasped. "You are so cool! Mama told me so many stories! I want to be just like you, Mr. Uzui!"
Gulping as the sudden urge to tear up awakened within him, Tengen took in a sharp breath and smiled. It wasn't until then when he had the little boy now standing before him that he studied those eyes. Eyes that reflected his own... The same ivory locks, those bright eyes and that shiny grin. There was no denying it... "That's an honor, Tenchi. And I like your headband," Tengen grinned, lightly poking the little boy's forehead as you watched their interaction with a heavy heart. 
"Oh!" Your son blushed. "Just like you! Mama said you wore a headband when you were a— a Hash— Hash..."
"Hashira," Tengen finished with a kind smile as the little boy nodded. 
"Yes! I wanna be just like you! Protect my mama from all evil!" He proudly said with his little fists on his hips. Tengen couldn't help but let out a choked laugh, as if the realizations made had his heart aching. This little boy was much too like him. "I look up to you!"
Feeling his heart skip a beat, Tengen looked away for a moment before ruffling Tenchi's hair. "I think you'll be better than I could ever be," he said without an inkling of doubt in his words, then looking at you as you looked at him with woeful eyes. It was clear there was something weighing on you. 
Placing a gentle hand on your son's head, caressing his shoulder length locks that were quite similar to Tengen's, you eyed said man with a hopeful smile. "Would you like to come have dinner with us? There's a lot to catch up on."
With a racing heart, Tengen looked at you with a similar expression, optimism filling his chest. "I would love to."
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icyg4l · 1 month
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PAC: How Does Your Higher Self Define Womanhood?
Hello, beautiful people. Today marks the last post of the Women’s History Month series & one of two posts made today! I am excited to continue to create content for you guys. And I am even more grateful for the support I have received as of lately. Because of this, I will continue to post creative tarot readings. So, without further ado, please pick your pile.
Left-to-Right: (1-4)
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Pile 1: Pile One, your story reminds me of the Miss Congeniality plot. Basically, Sandra Bullock plays a detective that goes undercover as a beauty pageant contestant. At first, she rejects the ideas of what it means to be a “girly girl” but eventually conforms to the standards. She viewed femininity as a sign of weakness and did not like being around other women because she felt that she had to prove herself to be tough. But she gained respect for the girls who worked in these pageants as she worked undercover because she began to acknowledge the hard work it takes to be in the pageants. By the end, she is closer to her womanhood. You have a similar story. I doubt that you’re a detective reading this but I feel as though you may have the tendency to thoroughly investigate any piece of information. To your higher self, womanhood means constantly being on the search for answers to placate the inner child wounds that lie within you. I feel like when you were younger, you may have been an outcast or a tomboy, maybe both. Because of this, you have set a lifelong quest to figure out what being a woman means to you whether it is intentional or not. Your higher self wants you to know that being a woman comes with all types of trauma, but remembering that you do not have to face it alone. You do not have to carry the burdens alone. You see, women are conditioned to be demure for the sake of keeping the peace but that’s not what works for you. Embrace the messy parts of yourself because if you don’t, life will get boring. Part of your mission is being aware of your multifaceted nature; reject conformity, embrace the abnormal, babe.
Cards Used: The Sun, 4 of Cups, 4 of Swords, 5 of Wands, Ace of Cups, The Magician, 5 of Cups, 3 of Cups, 3 of Swords.
Signs: Aquarius, Libra, Leo, Sagittarius.
extras: money getter. cash grabs. “low hanging fruit.” airhead. wallpaper. phineas and ferb. “sharon.” beetles. s.o.s. by rihanna. “tinge of an accent.” sweet. mirrors. coconut trees. hawaii. stubborn. radioactive.
Pile 2: Pile Two, there is a similar vibe that you have to Pile One, except I don’t think that you have problems with accepting your femininity. I think that you have problems with how masculines function in society. I am sensing a Lori Harvey type of energy here. This is likely related to the way that you operate when it comes to love. People tend to want to possess you so that they can show you off like a trophy. But your higher self wants you to know the difference between users and the genuine thing. I feel like you’ve developed this flighty persona to protect yourself from harm. While experiencing the many tribulations of womanhood, you have adopted the “flights over feelings” type of mindset. How has that been working out for you? No, really. Is it actually working or have you convinced yourself that it has. As a woman, your higher self thinks that womanhood is finding love in a loveless world. This isn’t necessarily about romance, but it’s just a mindset that you should adopt. It will save you from falling victim to the cycles of toxicity that plague society. It’s a cold world out here, babe but it doesn’t mean that you have to be as cold as the world. Part of your mission is forgiving yourself and those who hurt you so that you can see the beauty in the world. With this newfound sight of beauty, there comes true inner power.
Cards Used: The Devil, 7 of Discs (RX), 8 of Wands, The Hierophant, 3 of Swords, 3 of Cups, 10 of Discs, The Star, 10 of Cups (RX).
Signs: Capricorn, Cancer, Scorpio, Virgo.
extras: two can play that game. all about love by bell hooks. renegade. open arms. country music lover. tony montana. archer (2009). “logan.” phoenix rising. “marcus.” ashy. corny. cerebellum. stupendous.
Pile 3: Pile Three, your higher self defines womanhood as something that is both sweet and sour. It is something that she takes for granted but it is also something that she takes pride in. It’s a strength but also a weakness. I feel like I am talking to someone who has an ingenue/youthful spirit. I channeled the character Darla from The Little Rascals but I also channeled Charlotte from Princess and the Frog. You seem to be very in tune with your inner child and there is nothing wrong with that. Your inner child is heavily protected by the teenaged version of yourself, which seems very angry. These different versions of yourself often clash with one another, which can lead to bouts of depression and confusion. Your higher self is a woman who pours into herself through movement and self-expression. You need to channel these negative energies into creativity or else you will be stifled by your own thoughts. You honestly need to get out of your head. Your higher self feels as though there is a flip side to every coin that you get. For example, if you are having period pains, it may hurt but at least you’re not pregnant! Looking on the brighter side of life is how you can be closer to your higher self.
Cards Used: 5 of Swords, 6 of Swords, Page of Swords, Justice, 4 of Cups, Ace of Cups, Ace of Discs, 5 of Wands, The Hanged Man.
Signs: Leo, Pisces, Aries, Gemini.
extras: janet jackson. “i’m da man.” we will rock you. parties. diva. elle magazine. shapely. “how’d you figure?” honest answers only. maya angelou. glorilla. lola bunny. fatigue. body aches. deodorant. small bowls. annual. prayers. mark on the cheek. boot camp. “your highness.” shredded cheese. livelihood.
Pile 4: And last but not least, Pile Four. I feel like you are well sought after in the most lusty way possible. This has its perks, but lately, you feel like it has more cons than anything. I feel like you’re someone who always seems to feel isolated because of this. As a result, your higher self views womanhood as foreign. The amount of power that you hold as a woman is beyond explanation. There are so many ways that you can present yourself, Pile Four. I don’t think you have realized your true potential. Yes, you have gone through trauma because people assumed that you could handle the weight of the world but this means nothing to your spirit. Wake up! Don’t you realize how unique you are? Pile Four, womanhood can really only be defined by you, not by anyone else. The prioritization of yourself will help you make a name for yourself. You could be in your 20s, tired and just wanting a change. Well, your higher self wants you to know that change will come once you begin to change the narrative yourself. If you believe something about yourself that was told to you by someone else, then it means that you’re easily moldable. Being a woman means rising to the top even through the facings of opposition. You are a fighter. So the question is: when are you going to jump in the ring and fight for your sense of self, Pile Four.
Cards Used: Ace of Cups, Queen of Wands, 3 of Discs, Knight of Discs, Ten of Swords, 4 of Discs, The Hermit, Queen of Swords, 9 of Discs.
Signs: Gemini, Pisces, Cancer, Virgo.
extras: “tart.” “fresh out the shower.” burgundy. melons. net worth. SWer. dollar bills. illegal documents. molly. friendless. stoned. be your own boss. cake baker. sister, sister. wiseman. silly goose. fall. saturn.
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Between The Wall
Pairing: Sagau!Aether x Reader
Summary: Aether finds solace in the voice, he once hated and now loves.
!Warning!: First Time Writing, might be bad!
Part 2/3
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"—Argh...! Stop it, Aether!" you scream in frustration, putting down your phone on the bed with an annoyed face.
it's been a few weeks since you started to play Genshin Impact after being tempted by your schoolmate to download the game. They already told you the gist of what you should know before starting the game itself.
But, they never mention about this game has the main character a self-aware implement into their character.
At first you notice the way Aether's face scrunched up in discomfort after the prologue. It makes you creep out but then you remember that your schoolmate has told you about a few of their self-aware elements, though they just told you about their reaction when you cancel their movements by jumping.
You assumed that your schoolmate probably wants you to experience it by yourself which is nice but a head up would be great too.
"Gacha game? more like a horror game." you snicker as you continue to play on your phone.
As time goes on, Aether's 'behavior' becomes worse. From making a lot of negative responses to you controlling him, now he even tries to defy your control over him by doing the opposite of what you want from him from time to time.
"Aether, you little shit! Stop swimming in a circle and go back to the shore repeatedly!" you shook your phone like crazy, and there was a small smile curled on Aether's face making your anger flame harder.
"T-this game is shit!"
While anger consumes you, you log out from the game.
You sigh leaning back to your gaming chair as you spin around on it before standing up, moving to your door, and walking down the stairs to grab some water.
because of this problem is the reason why you are slowly about to snap and quit this game.
You arrive at the kitchen, open the fridge, grab a small bottle of water, and quickly drink it up.
While doing so, you heard a rapid clicking on a keyboard coming from your sibling's room. A curious look on your face before you slowly walk to their and casually open the door by the knob.
There you see, your sibling screams while her finger moves steadily on the keyboard before slapping her hand on her table in frustration once she loses.
"GODDAMN IT!" Your sibling shouted, it looked like she had died fighting in the Spiral Abyss, no wonder.
"Calm down," you shook your head, walking inside to stand by your sibling. "You will wake Mom up from her sleep at this rate."
They turns to you, "Oh, you, sorry," she slowly calms herself down and sighs.
"This level just gets my shit up to a hundred, who told Hoyoverse that this is fine, all I wanted was the Primogem." They grumbles.
You softly rub her back with a small smile, "It's still many days left until the limited banner is gone, I am sure you will get em."
They put down their headphones, "Talk about it, what AR are you now?"
"Well, it's, I think...AR 23 or more..." You thought absentmindedly.
"That's quick," your sibling mused, "How is your experience so far as a beginner?"
"Well it's fun, I love the world-building, the colour, the gameplay, and the Ui..." You trailed, listing what you liked about the game until an irritated look appeared on your face that made your sibling perk at it. "Except for Aether!"
Your sibling flinched at your outburst before she raised a confused eyebrow at you, "Aether? The traveler?"
"Yes!" You grip your hand into a fist while seething in anger. "I don't know why they implanted such a feature, Like every time I try to play, he gotta need to defy my game control, it's creepy! He used to follow me but now he keeps making ugly faces at me like excuse me!"
"I really, really hate him!"
You keep rambling about your frustration with the traveler which leaves your sibling gaping.
"I don't think they have that..." Your sibling uttered out.
"Well, I did! And it needs to stop!"
"Do you contact Hoyo Customer Service? Is it probably a bug?" Your sibling suggested.
"I did but they never replied." You said crossing your arms.
"They probably will get back to you, one of these days since I am sure they have many people to attend to." Your sibling reassured.
"I hope so,"
Your sibling then chuckles, "But I don't think you would hate him for so long."
You frown with an eyebrow raised, "Why so?"
"They're gonna be a certain quest when you reach AR 28 or above which gives more lore about him." She elaborates.
"I don't think I would." You squint your eyes.
"Well the fact you still using the Traveler despite the bug he has, say so." She snickers, "Just give him a chance, hate the bug instead of him."
You scratch your cheeks and sigh, "We will see."
You decided to give the game, a second chance.
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"Aether, don't you think...you being too mean to the Creator?" She whispered scratching her cheeks floating, looking down on Aether crouching down inside the bushes.
They currently watching over a couple of boars walking with Aether having his sword in his grip.
Aether glances at Paimon before smiling, "Well, it's not that bad, it's a small price for them to control my body." He turns his attention back to the boars.
Paimon deadpanned, "What a lie! You just did that so they left early!"
He doesn't respond and just quickly dashes out from the bushes and thrusts his sword onto one of the boar, quickly he pulls back the other sword and slashes the boar sprinting toward him.
Quickly he used his Anemo ability to pull back the almost-escaping boars and slashed them in one go.
Blood splatter on his face, outfit, hair and his swords.
"Ah," he wiped the blood on his cheeks with his thumbs, "I need to get better at dodging the blood-splattered," He said out loud.
Aether suddenly flinched and turned his body to see another boar is running up to him.
"Hi-ya!" Paimon shouted, hitting the boars with a rock on the forehead. "Don't you dare to attack Aether!"
Aether blinked and smiled, "Thanks for the help, Paimon."
Paimon perks up and throws away the rock somewhere else, "Hehe, you're welcome~ praise me more~" she giggles happily.
"Now calm down," Aether chuckled.
Aether then gets to work after cleaning himself with a towel to cut the boar meat, one by one.
After that was done, Aether decided to sit down to open his notebook, and start writing some alphabet and spelling again.
Paimon sits down beside the Traveler, watching the letter he wrote with knowing looks.
"Is that the Creator's language?" She asked, quietly after watching her surrounding.
Aether nodded, "Yeah, I managed to decipher some of it."
"Oh! What is it? Let me see!" Paikon excitedly asked and leaned over to look at it.
Paimon curiosity slowly turned into a horrified look, "Did the Creator say that?"
"Yeah," Aether said amused at Paimon's reaction, "surprising huh?"
"There is a lot of cursing! Outrageous mean word!" She blinks rapidly, "The Creator has very interesting wording..."
"Most of the curse directed at me, I am not surprised." He smirked.
Paimon looks at Aether's face still has a smile and a fond look on his face. "You like them?"
Aether stops writing, "Huh?" He turns to Paimon.
"The Creator! Do you finally like them?" She excitedly asked.
"No!" Aether quickly stood up and took a step back, "Ain't no way! I just tolerate the Creator better than before!"
Aether is very obviously in denial with his cheeks adorned with pink blush, averting his eyes.
It's very true that Aether slowly but surely started to understand the creator, whether their language and their intention choosing him as a vessel.
The first word he managed to decipher is 'love' from the Creator's language, it's when Aether has fallen from the Statue Of Seven that the Creator for some reason controlled him to do so.
He had a fatal injury caused by that, and while he was whimpering in pain, he heard the Creator change of tone.
Aether's eyes widened, and he looked up at the sky, the creator rambled a lot but he could hear the concern and care for him which gave him goosebumps
"...Aether!$%-#&#!"
Aether perks up again when he hears his name between the rambling and his eyes widen more.
"...Aether&%$%...love#%#&#-!"
His lips parted when he understood the word, Aether's cheeks burned red and his eyes turned hazy.
He doesn't realize what happening to him but Aether for sure has stopped functioning at this time.
Aether shook his head from his flashback and continued to scribble some more. His ear is red as his scribbling becomes faster but much to his chagrin, the scene keeps playing in his head.
Paimon, who watching at his side had a small smile adorning her face. 'Aether surely has grown to like the Creator and that's good.
Both of them will stuck together until they reach their intended goal, they are both important to me, so please help each other."
Paimon hands intertwined. together to prayer, eyes closed with her forehead leaning to her clasped hands.
Until it's snapped open, Paimon turned her head with a frown. 'Who?'
She scanned the surroundings when she sensed something wrong again. 'Behind that tree." Paimon narrows her eyes.
She was about to move and check it out but suddenly Aether stood up which gained Paimon attention back to him.
"Aether? Why are you standing?" She called moving to him, "Where are we going?"
She tilted her head when Aether didn't answer her which was odd until she moved in front of him.
There she sees Aether standing still with his eye twitching in irritation. 'Ah, the Creator is back.'
Paimon smiles sympathetically at Aether.
Aether's body then quickly moved in a sprint which made Aether's eyes wide with Paimon followed in tow.
As they move away, neither Aether nor Paimon didn't realizes that someone is watching them from afar behind a tree, the arrow they grip in their hands is put away.
The unknown eye glints with mysterious light, "The Creator..." They breathe.
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You are lying down on the bed, empty and in pain.
There are tears stained under your eyes, your eyes are red from crying so hard for a long time. Akin to a person on the brink of death gate and barely gripping onto life.
"i can't believe it." you hiccup, "Lumine, why are you doing this?! Reunite with your brother, come on!" you shout in frustration, kicking your feet into the air.
You just recently finish the 'We will be reunited' quest and it broke you down from the inside hard. You are mad at Lumine but at the same you try to understand her but what actually fueled to your anger against her is Aether.
After the quest, Aether's face have trail of tears and hurt plastered that you didn't have a heart to do anything that often making you in verge of crying. Often you have started to not using Aether, in hope his expression will be better but it just become worse and you even begun to miss his smirk from before.
Everytime you try your best to help the boy even though it's probably a waste of time. After using him back again for daily mission, his face become focus like he try to pull his mind away from the events. It's like he try to move on, his expression look so real which should not be possible since Aether is a character game.
"I can't seem to leave him alone," You rub your eyes and slowly calming yourself down. Getting up from the bed you reach for your phone and open your messaging app.
After a back and forth messaging with your sibling and friend, you finally come to conclusion of what to do now.
You get back with soda and snack by your side as you open up Genshin Impact in your phone with a determined face.
"I can't believe that I am doing this for a game character that I hate..." you mutter as you sigh before focusing to the screen again.
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"My money..."
"OUR MONEY!" Paimon scream, "Why are the Creator even use it to but a freaking expensive firework!!" she whined into her hand.
"We could use it to buy more Sticky Honey Roast!" She cried out, step onto the ground pr air repeatly.
Aether just sigh, "Well we can't do anything about it," he keep jogging forward to somewhere that even he doesn't know with the Creator controlling him. "We will gain it back in no time, so don't worry so much Paimon."
"Okay... but where are we even going?"
Aether narrow his eye as he climb up the boulder, "Hm...I don't know but this place seem familiar."
The more they walk and climb, the more familiar the surrounding area looks, Aether is now crouching down to set down the firework under a cliff before his body starts to sprint up up to the cliff where from there, he could see Mondstadt.
"Are the creators trying to light fireworks in the morning?" Paimon wonders out loud, "What the point? It's not even night!"
But then a miracle happened, the day quickly went back to nighttime time and both Aether and Paimon's eyes widened at the sight.
The sky that once had a sun on its landscape now has a moon and star decorating It.
At the right time, the fireworks shoot up into the air and burst into many colour.
"Wow...." Aether breathed out in awe.
"Aether..."
Aether suddenly glances at the sky when he hears the Creator speak his name. Each word the Creator utters makes his heart skip a beat, flushing red and his eye sparkling.
"....With this, I hope you will cheer up a little bit."
A trail of tears goes down his cheeks as the Creator's words end. He can't understand some of it but the way his heart thumping, he just knows for sure that.
Aether has fallen in forbidden love with the...
Creator.
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ancientgoddessofegypt · 6 months
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Neptune Placements and Subconscious Manifestation
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Neptunians have a calling in their souls path that utilizes the subconscious prowells of the underworld and higher realms of reality.
Everything is subconscious before it is materialized, so neptunians have a great understanding of this at birth. The beauty of this is that once they learn how to stay afloat in a reality that tries to force them to be grounded, they will be able to use their brain to conquer the reality they wish to receive in this lifetime.
With that being said, let me explain how everyone with neptune placements can utilize their gifts in order to receive the reality they want for themselves, as well as knowing how to appreciate the things their subconscious mind is able to do and magnetize to them.
I will say that nothing is impossible, because with the mind all can be possible if you just believe. Neptune rules the higher heart, it allows us to see the beyond of something we believe as impossible to be possible. With the use of our pineal glands (neptune/uranus) we can see more of anything in the horizon even if its not able to be seen first hand, with effort and practice.the world can be ours.
Sun/Neptune - When it comes to your subconscious mind, it has much to do with the way you express yourself into the world. If you want a dancer, a lawyer, a scientist, etc. Before it materializes you must act it out BEFORE it can arrive to you. Think of the law of attraction (which neptune rules over) and think about how you'd be if you were these things already. Your brain doesn't know the difference between you having this thing or not, it responds to the nature of doing something and receive information on how to expand the consciousness on that desire. Being your true self helps you get into alignment with the thing that you want.
Pay attention to how you act when you are around others because this is reflective of your imagination, not theirs. With neptunians it is easy for people to take in people’s projections of them and it can mess with your imagination, however, we still have control on we’re our subconscious reality goes.
Moon/Neptune is reflective on your emotional state. For example, you want to feel joy, right? What happens if you never felt joy ever? You would have to force yourself into that roll. It might sound goofy at first but with practice you will realize that energy doesn’t lie, and our emotions are connecting to energy.. good bad and neutral.
The beauty with this placement is how well these individuals can alchemize their emotions and transform it into something that they want in the material/physical reality. So if I want more joy and I never felt it before but I know it’s a form of happiness, Im going to “pretend” to be joyous and when I keep doing this it’ll begin to reflect into my reality therefore REAL joy can come into fruition. It just takes time n effort. And with said effort of mastering the alchemy of my own emotions, I could then create a reality out of this energy (our emotions are = energy) thus moving me into a vibration of more joy where I can attract what I want into the form of whatever it is I desire. I just have to seek out joy.
With this placement though, a lot of times what you want to create doesn’t have a actual look, mostly a vibe. So sometimes you have to reflect on the feeling of it and not just the look. “Follow the energy” would be my final word to you all.
Neptune/ASC has a lot to do with shapeshifting yourself into the reality that you want. It also has a lot to do with being consciously aware of the choices that you are making, and making moves toward the direction of your desire. I’m going to use miss Marilyn Monroe as an example. Monroe, a neptune/asc in leo had a vision that she would be a star. Before we knew her as Marilyn, she was norma jean with brunette hair and a pretty smile. Once she transformed her look, hair, and character it was at this moment she would be the world famous superstar of our time. She talked about how she used her mind and pretended she was already the star she wanted to be and with time it moved her into the direction she wanted for herself. Another example would be you want a house or a car, but it’s not just any car or house it’s a luxury! Your subconscious doesn’t know the difference so you would have to consciously make yourself act as if you have it because the external reality responds to the vibration of your internal self (conscious and unconscious) first, external after.
Neptune/Mercury the power is in the voice! One of the few placements that can will what they want for themselves with the power of the tongue. The truth of the matter is that you must pretend and then focus on the energy that is being presented when willing it into your reality. These are the type of people who can be prophets in their life and utilize this ability with any talents in writing/singing/rapping/visuals etc. The use of the hands here is a gift as well. Scripting and creating stories of their own life before it happens is something they could be pretty good at if they listen to their intuition. The mind responds to what you believe is real , like for example you say "Im ugly" a hundred times, the universe will attach that feeling to your reality. If you say "im pretty" eventually your mind will believe this as true, so then you end up being in situations that show your true nature. YOU control the mind and what comes out of it. Just be you!
Neptune/Venus the power is in your sensuality and the way you express your love for yourself and all around you. Beautiful placement, how you will what you want within reality is by going with the flow. Dreams can come true but with venusian energy we have to relinquish our control! These two planets together deal with the heart, so what we believe wholeheartedly can come true we just have to embrace it with our minds and the way we feel life with our sensual nature. Beautiful placement, i'll say it again.
The love you have for yourself will reflect back in your manifestations. Deservingness is a theme for people with this placement.
Neptune/Mars - Your drive. Your endurance levels and what you believe is possible is how strongly this placement will be. If youre not confident in whatever it is you want than mars energy here will be a pretty low since its dependant on the subconscious. I see people with this placement having to embark on a lot of psychological transformations as mars/aries rules the head so the mind will always be something worth having to overcome. Building up confidence and working up a sweat is actually a good way to help your manifestations come through quicker! Neptune/mars can rely on getting into the root of something to heal the wounds of the subconscious so that their conscious reality can mirror the internal feelings of what they desire in the process.
Neptune/Pluto - Okay so at this point i want to start of by saying that any planet that isn't a luminary (Uranus/Neptune/Jupiter/Saturn/Pluto) does not have much of a affect in the physical, but mostly internal and spiritual. Neptune and pluto together are a powerhouse baby! Because its dealing with the unconscious and the subconscious and its usually something that lays hidden. With the luminaries, we can consciously see what are reality is like versus our imagination. With this placement its tricky because if pluto wants to stay a secret, thats what itll be. The goal here is to see and feel what your imagination is trying to say to you. You may be dealing with blocked manifestation abilities with this placement so it'll take some sort of 'shadow work' to get the bottom of any issues as to why manifesting something isnt as easy.
Now here is the part on how it can be easier. Since pluto rules the unconscious, you must be aware of your dream state especially since neptune is the ruler of dreams. Sometimes what you want may not come thru you but through others, as pluto is a magnet of getting other people to do what it wants. So with that being said, connecting to your inner self via meditation and thru dreams would help you see the best manifestation method for you. Neptune/Pluto together shows me that their are a lot unlocked gifts that you may have to work to get a chance to use them. Pay attention to how you feel and what you say when manifesting. Start with a sentence on what you desire, pay attention to your imagination, what comes up? does it feel good or bad? if it feels good feel the vibration of it and thats when you'll know how to receive it because its thru a certain emotion (and emotions bring power WHEN used correctly). If it feels bad, why? go deeper on the subject, because it could either be blocking you or protecting you. A lot of times the unconscious like to hide because maybe when you were younger something 'forced' it to lock away certain gifts. Your subconscious/unconscious self holds great awards, and the more you go inside to see the more you will become the magician of your own reality!
Neptune/Saturn - Grounded. Material. Discipline. Staying Focused. 4 things to note with this placement is that saturn will reward you with the effort you take to move into it! The original law of attraction placement. It focuses on bring our dreams into material reality. With you guys, meditating on what you want and then creating a blueprint for it is the best way to see thru an idea and allowing the universe to present it to you the way it sees fit. We may not know all the answers but thats the point, we're not suppose to know everything we're just suppose to do it.
Now with you guys focusing on the task and putting all your energy on that goal is how saturn will push you forward to that thing you want to manifest. I need yall to dream big here because saturn whats you to create something with a long lasting foundation so theirs no playing small here. We start off with some baby steps and we move on to the bigger picture but saturns energy deals with the dark stuff nobody ever talks about. Hardwork pays off but the amount of effort you put into changing your mindset and going in with the challenge is the kicker.
Creating the vision is easy with neptune but putting in the work is sometimes the hardest. How bad do you want it? That's a saturn proverb here. We gotta get use to things not being as 'easy' as we may like, and thats the lesson saturn brings with this placement.
Neptune/Jupiter - This placement counts on your belief system so the higher your beliefs the stronger the outcome of the manifestation. This placement has no room for small, shorthanded beliefs because you'll eventually will have to learn how to expand your horizons. Jupiter rules luck, so a risk will be necessary on receiving what you desire. Do you wish to travel? Then you must believe that you can fly. New look? You must believe that you will look great in whatever you put on? Don't trust yourself to swim ? Gotta change that narrative, just say you're a mermaid without gills ;) jk. This placement can not be still and you will go through many journeys in life whether it's through the mind or across the world. Believe in MORE and you will receive it.
Seriously though, this placement is built on your belief system and it can get stronger immediately once you go towards more optimism in your life.
Neptune/Uranus. Think think think! The power is strictly in your consciousness. With manifesting what you want, it may be more unconventional than you'd think. As a person with this placement (this is a generational placement from like 1993 to 1999) I've noticed that this placement requires you to look beyond what you see in front of you. This generation so far is creating a new era of dreams no one never seen coming. Ive seen people manifest their dreams as being a rapper and even if their not super famous or in hollywood they've built a lifestyle for themselves that we've otherwise never seen possible. I'd say their more on the independant side which I've seen a lot of so far. But the reason I used that as an example is because you have to let go and let the unexpected happen. Our dreams are possible to achieve we just have to know that it may be different and most likely ahead of its time!
I hope you all loved my observation list on neptune and the other placements! Stay tuned for more to come. Maybe you can manifest what i do next ;) hehe, bye!
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mikaleialt · 6 months
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Caught in 4k
Bada Lee x Youtuber!Reader
Synopsis: A famous youtuber who uploads dance covers and sometimes even her own choreographies is actually Bada Lee's girlfriend?!!— or — you suddenly got exposed during a livestream, now people knew of you and Bada's relationship
Cw: nothing just fluff
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After your youtube channel reached the 5 million subscribers milestone, you decided to do the most requested content of your viewers which is a livestream.
They wanted you to do a livestream where you perform some dance covers and teach some of your latest choreographies. Of course to make it more fun and interactive you decided to add some Q and A segments, to be more interactive.
You started youtube way back, but before your contents used to be just a simple vlog about your everyday life, but soon shifts into posting some dance covers and sometimes even posting some of your own choreographies. Your old viewers are already aware of your talent in dancing and are so happy that you finally gained confidence to showcase your talent.
You still do some vlogs here and there, but most of your content now is about dance.
Now in the present, you are standing in your bedroom, the camera setup is facing one of your bedroom wall that serves as your background, while your monitor is next to it, where you read the live chats and manage the whole stream.
The title screen "live starts in 5..." is the only thing your viewers are seeing at the moment as you do some warm ups first. You stare at the viewer count that reads there are almost 15k people waiting on your live.
Once you feel that you are all set, you removed the title screen and waved at the camera.
"Hello everybody!" You did your intro and started doing small talks with your viewers as your chat feed floods with more people, telling you how excited they are.
"Your top looks familiar" you saw the comment passes by your screen which made you realize that the shirt you're wearing is one of Bada's shirt, and not just any shirt. It was the same shirt she wore on her first dance battle with Redy on swf 2.
You tried to ignore the comment and continue reading a few more before your viewers started begging you to teach one of your latest dance choreography, which you did.
You stand at the center of the screen once again and looked at the camera before looking back at the monitor.
"Ok ok, we'll start with the 'dance lessons', you guys wanted" you said as you prepare the first song you'll dance to.
"Oh before I start, just a quick announcement, I am not a dance teacher, nor do I have any experience teaching dance. This is literally my first time teaching, so thank you for being my guinea pigs for this experiment" you joked before starting teaching the choreo to your viewers.
Coincidentally, the first song is 16 shots, which made the person who commented earlier appear again as you read the comments in-between teaching your choreo.
"The song and the shirt really makes me feel like I've seen it already somewhere before" the comment said. To which you ignored once again.
You feel a slight blush, it's really all just a coincidence, you're not really thinking of anything when you decided to take Bada's shirt on her closet to wear for the livestream, and it's also a coincidence that you made a choreo to the 16 shots a few days ago.
Your livestream goes on for a bit over 30 minutes now and you are currently taking a break mid-stream and just chatting with your viewers.
One question after another you answer your viewer when a particular question pops up.
"You dance so well, are you taking any dance class?" You read the question out loud and the question seems to catch the viewers attention as they flood the chat feed once again with comments about how they are also curious about it.
"Honestly, I was self taught, in terms of dancing that is. But a few months ago, I joined this dance academy just for the fun of it. I just wanna improve my skills more, you know what I mean." You answered, but your answer just sparked more questions.
"What dance academy?" Is the only thing that you can read from the chat feed. You contemplate whether you should tell them or not. And after tons of viewers begged for your answer and a chat dono appears, sending you 500 dollars with a message "please tell us", you finally give in.
"It was at JustJerk" you said and immediately viewers went wild. Some even commenting "maybe it's time to enroll for a dance class too" or "no wonder your style seems familiar". But another question pops up and it caught everyone's attention.
"Do you see Bada Lee on JustJerk?" The chat read. And every viewer saw it so you can't ignore this one.
"Yeah, sometimes..." you said, and it was a lie. You always saw Bada there, no scratch that, you are always with Bada there. How can you not see her everytime you go there, she is your girlfriend, you always go to the academy together.
"OMG YOU SHOULD COVER BADA'S CHOREO FOR SHIRT" a comment pops up again and the chat once again goes wild.
"Fine, fine... wait give me a minute I'm trying to remember the step again" you search up the dance cover and watch the video before learning the choreography once more.
Meanwhile, Bada had just arrived at your apartment and was looking for you, when she heard Shirt by Sza plays over and over again coming from your shared bedroom.
Slowly, Bada creeps in and peaked by the door to see what's going on and saw your livestream setup. You are too focused on your live that you didn't even noticed her leaning by the door frame, watching you.
"...ok I think I got it" You said as you ready yourself before playing the song once again and you start moving to the beat.
Bada is in awe once she realized you are dancing to her choreo, and to Shirt even. Her jaw drops as you execute all the moves perfectly, but boy it doesn't stop there.
"...Damn, you ain't deserve~" the music subsides for a bit, you twirl around before the beats drop ones again as you move your hips to the beat before looking up the camera and hitting the beat once again.
Bada squeals as you finish dancing, she can't get over at how sexy you look earlier. You turn your head to the door as you see your girlfriend kneeling on the ground.
"Oh my god, when did you arrived?" You said, your viewers were curious on who were you talking to as they flood your chat feed once more with questions.
"Wait I moment... I know that voice" the same person who commented earlier appears again.
Bada runs up to you, and hugs you tightly, planting tons of kisses on your face. "You look so sexy just now" your girlfriend gushes over you.
"I KNEW IT! THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING" the chat feed was bombarded with surprised emotes and messages like "holy shit, they are dating?!!!!".
You face the camera shyly as Bada breaks off from you and hugs you from behind as she hides her reddened face on the crook of you neck.
"Uhmmm yeah so... I think this is where I will end my stream" you chuckled lightly as Bada cowers in embarassment behind you, now realizing that your relationship was revealed to more than 35k people right now.
"This is not really what I planned when I first decided to do the livestream but yeah, I hope you had fun dancing with me... and yeah me and Bada are dating... anyway that would be all byeeee!" You quickly cut the cameras and ended the live.
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A/n: and that is all for this story, thank you all for choosing this. I hoped you liked it. Sorry for any grammatical errors.
Requests are open
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stardustdiiving · 10 months
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The way Wanderer & Nahida function on teyvat’s hypothetical social media to me is Nahida has like a public figure verified account as the Dendro Archon right and she posts either formal sumeru news announcements, or very earnest personal positivity posts split between telling ppl to practice self care and drink water :) or excitedly sharing cool fun facts about plants/hyper specific research niches she finds interesting. A majority of these posts are often rather confusing because she either employs her Weird Metaphors in them or is explaining trivia too complicated for most ppl to understand.
While a lot of ppl generally think this is very silly & r like thank u Devi Kusanali very cool she also sometimes gets a lot of irony poisoned “I love being a hater” types in her notifs ragging on her for being cringe and Emotionally Sincere—which she seems to barely notice. Wanderer, however, (who’s main social media presence consists of a small private account he only lets people he likes follow where he posts pictures of nice scenery he saw while wandering or incredibly smug selfies with people he just beat in a fight sprawled out on the ground behind him), sees this and gets on his only other account (a public burner he uses to argue with other akademiya students about research topics) and starts replying to the hate comments under Nahida’s post threatening to beat their ass in increasingly absurd ways because he thinks it’s funny
No one has any idea who’s running his account but it immediately becomes a running joke on the website bc everyone thinks it’s completely insane and it also causes discourse that results in Traveler (who posts once a month but accidentally goes viral all the time bc everyone thinks Traveler being on social media is really funny and half their posts about their everyday life read like dril tweets) getting ppl making “awareness posts” about them being mutuals with Wanderer’s burner account because it is “very concerning they support death threats”, to which everyone starts arguing about the ethics of being mean to gods on the internet and if it qualifies as child hating behavior if the child in question is 500 years old. Meanwhile Nahida has not been online for the last 3 days because she’s in the forest having fun with the Aranara and Wanderer does not care in the slightest because he just thought it would be entertaining to cause problems on purpose. Someone during the discourse gets particularly mean and nasty about Nahida and he replies by posting their full IP address and nothing else
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checkoutmybookshelf · 11 months
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The Quartet That Started It All
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As followers of this blog will note, this is not actually the quartet that started it all for me, but it DID launch author Tamora Pierce's career in the 1980s, and Alanna remains absolutely beloved among Pierce's heroines. Let's talk the Song of the Lioness Quartet.
In a classic case of "if I can't do this as a girl, then I'll do this as a boy and I have a handy twin brother to go full Twelfth Night with," Alanna of Trebond begins The First Adventure by dressing as a boy to train as a page in Tortall's royal court. This book introduces all our main characters and establishes Alan the page amongst his peers and Alanna as she finds herself and her place in chivalry.
One of the other amazing things about Alanna's story overall is that she begins it absolutely terrified of her own magical gift. Her arc includes learning to work with her magic rather than to fear it, and that's a twist on magic users that I really appreciated. We often get overly confident magic users--indeed, we'll get TWO of them later in the series--but it's rare that we get magic users who are fully aware of their powers and are still absolutely terrified of them. So of course, the story and the world and Pierce herself keep throwing Alanna into situations where she has no choice but to develop and use her gift. It's so, so good. This first book covers Alanna's page years, and we move into her squire years in book two.
In the Hand of the Goddess really expands on Alanna's key relationship with Prince Jon on Conte, Duke Roger of Conte, and Geroge Cooper. Alanna moves into a wider world of adult politics and stakes in this book. From being able to defeat an older, stronger, and more experienced opponent in a duel to developing her healing skills when a wound puts her out of commission during a war, Alanna cements her skills, connections, and position in society. This culminates with unmasking Roger as an attempting regicide and the accidental reveal of her gender.
This book is really, really good, and extends Alanna's childhood fear of magic to her fear of Roger specifically in a really natural, logical way. I could say more about the details, but these two books have an episodic vibe to them, so I won't spend too much time exploring every single key plot event.
The Woman Who Rides Like a Man sees Alanna spending her first year as a knight in the desert, with a Bazhir tribe. She becomes their shaman by way of self-defense; she murders their first shaman when he tries to murder her for "being unnatural." Then it falls to Alanna to train three magic users for the tribe, and this is where we see more nuance into how different magic users relate to their powers, from sheer hubris to fear to "this is just part of me, let's do this." It's a phenomenal experience for Alanna, and she learns as much from her students as they do
Book three also sees Jonathan bitching to hell and back about having to be king, which is not a great look, and it's one Alanna calls him on. He spends most of the book alternating between pitching a hissy fit, begging Alanna to marry him, and training to take over as Voice of the Tribes. The interesting thing here is that Alanna refuses to marry Jon. He is trying to fit Alanna into his own fairy tale, and she very much goes "That isn't our relationship, I can't do that. We aren't meant to be like that, and that's ok." If I could inject that lesson into humanity's collective head, I would. It's well done and it's great.
Lioness Rampant picks up on Alanna's travels after she leaves the Bazhir, and eventually sees her return to Corus with a magical artifact to help secure Jonathan's position as king.
There's also the teeny tiny complication that Alanna's twin brother, Thom, has resurrected Duke Roger. Absolute chaos ensues, and Roger almost manages to take out the entire court during Jonathan's coronation. Nobody should have to kill an evil sorceror twice, but Alanna did.
If you want to dive into Tamora Pierce's Tortall Universe, starting with Alanna is absolutely a good choice. These books hold a very soft spot in my heart, and they're never not engaging.
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kookslastbutton · 9 months
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Love's Remedy ༓ jjk (m) l ch. II
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✑ Summary: Jungkook is a romantic. He comes from a highly intelligent family who wants him to carry out the lineage. Being this way, he goes to college to be a pharmacist but his friends say college isn't just about studying! With a little persuasion, he goes to his first frat party thinking his hat will help him pick up a girl-or woman he means.
Pairing: STEM major!virgin!jungkook x STEM major!hot girl!reader
AU/genre: angst, smut, fluff, s2l, college au, mini-series
Rating: M, 18+
Word Count: 2,783
Warnings: angry koo, jealous koo, gym rat koo, thicc thighs koo, protective koo, kook checks his abs out, koo gets in a physical fight with an aggressive jerk that involves punching, name-calling (half pint, hermit crab, b*tch, Bambi, honeysuckle, kookie), mention of blood (minor), jk is very cute and determined towards oc, oc has philophobia (fear of relationships), oc has poor self-esteem, cussing, bit of crying...sorry lot of warnings this chapter
Now Playing: seven, summertime sadness, she’s kerosene, angels like you+
A/N: Yes, I'm aware this chapter is short, still Jungkook is shirtless in half of this and I am not sorry. This chapter also gets heavy but I hope you enjoy! 💞
<< ch. I ༓ ch. II >> | series masterlist
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A week passes since the frat party and Jungkook hears nothing from you. He's reluctant to accept that you've likely already deleted his number but why else would you be radio silent? Why would someone like you ever be interested in a shy little nerd like him?
He's disappointed but when he gave you his number, it's not like he was expecting anything in return.
Well, he can’t stay hung up on you forever—he'll give you one more week. In the meantime, it’s 5 p.m and he’s off to do his daily lifting at the gym. He read somewhere online that evening is better for building strength, and that is exactly what he intends to do.
With a basic black tank top and gym shorts on, Jungkook scans the expanse of the facility. The place isn’t too crowded being that it’s nearly dinner time but it’s still moderate. He’s hoping Jackson will join him soon, considering they’re buddies now because isn’t that what guy friends do? Workout together?
When he makes his way to the weight room he quickly finds it's packed with guys double his size. Half of them look like they're upperclassmen while the other half is split between first-years like him and a small handful of women. He sheepishly strolls over to an empty pull-up bar, deciding to start with chin lifts.
Jungkook sets his water bottle on the ground, reaches for the handle, and lifts his body up until his chin is level with the bar, legs swing in the air slightly. He then extends his arms back out. The burn in his biceps feels good. He repeats the motion a few more times but has to stop when he hits six.
He takes a big swig of his water, already sweating evident from the tank top sticking to his back. The coolness of the water helps but between his own sweat and the sweat of others around him, Jungkook is tempted to throw his shirt off. Most of the men in the room aren’t wearing any more than shorts anyway so why can’t he?
Jungkook grasps the edges of his tank, pulling it up a little. How did his abs look? Were they good enough to show off? He’s working out diligently since 14 but he was still on the smaller side compared to the rest of his peers.
The mirror to his left helps him get a better look so he shifts his body over. When he does he catches a slight glimpse of a familiar face in the top right corner. Jungkook instantly drops his shirt, whipping his head around.
What were you doing in the weight room? And with some buff guy twice his size closely behind you? All he’s doing is staring at your ass in those tight purple shorts which so happens to have a matching crop top.
Jungkook scowls at the sight.
When you take a seat at one of the bench presses a couple of feet away, his eyes widen. The guy you came with stands behind your head as you lean back. He helps you set the barbell. It’s too far for Jungkook to hear what he’s telling you but he’s convinced it’s nothing good. Whoever this guy is he won’t stop grinning, and you’re grinning back!
You said you don’t do relationships. You said you'd think about going out with him. You said a lot of things but here you are with some guy that looks an awful lot like a boyfriend, how disgusting…
Fuck it.
Jungkook turns his eyes away from you, yanks his tank off, and grabs the pull-up bar again. He’s gonna knock ten of these out in one set.
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Shoulder-width apart, he keeps a steady pace though he makes sure to take deep breaths to prolong his stamina. His eyes fixate on the back wall of the weight room to avoid you and your supposedly new boo from getting in his head.
Apparently, you just didn’t want him. It’s fine. Jungkook exhales. It’s all fine.
After three sets of chin-ups, Jungkook releases himself from the bar to check his phone. He takes another glug of his water too.
Jackson: hey Kook, I was planning to join you at the gym today but I got my family in town tonight. Man, it’s only been a week….can you believe they’re here to visit already?
Jungkook: Wow, all I’ve gotten from my family is a short text saying good luck. They must miss you a lot but yeah, it’s no problem. We can work out another time?
Jackson: You got it bro. Thank you for understanding 🙏🏼 Also, there’s a second thing 😬
Jungkook: ??
Jackson: I might have told my parents about you so are you free to get lunch with us tomorrow? My parents want to meet you. Our treat.
Jungkook: Really? Okay yeah. I’d love to meet them. Time?
Jackson: We don’t know yet but likely 1pm if that’s okay?
Jungkook: Sure, I’ll just be studying so. Text me when you know.
Jackson: I will. How’s the gym?
Jungkook hovers his thumbs over the keyboard. When he glances up to think, he’s reminded of your lingering presence. You’re no longer bench pressing anymore but instead doing a set of bent-over dumbbell rolls. With the way you’re torso’s angled, anyone who’s anyone has a direct view of your rear end. Any decent person would pay it no mind but that same douchebag next to you keeps gawking.
“It’s not meant to be a fucking sex position,” Jungkook mutters and types out a response. “Fucker.”
He makes his way to the black punching bag on the other side of the room, passing a strong glare at that young man as he nears the two of you. He doesn’t know his name but he’d really like to go over there and knee him in the balls. His eyes flicker at you for a moment, so pretty.
“The hell are you staring at my girl for half-pint?” The man calls Jungkook out in an aggressive stance. “Keep your eyes in front before I fuck you up.”
Frazzled, Jungkook scurries to move past the both of you with his head down. “Sorry, I didn’t mean anything.” He doesn’t get three steps before a solid form blocks his path.
“Who are you apologizing to? Your feet? Look me in the damn eye when you talk to me.”
“Jun-ho stop,” you come up beside the man, tugging at his arm. He yanks himself out of the grasp, however, jolting your body back. You nearly lose your balance.
“I’m just trying to teach this little hermit crab what happens when you stare at another man’s woman, baby.”
Jungkook clenches his fists as you struggle to re-stabilize yourself. You should not be with this asshole. He doesn’t deserve you, he doesn’t deserve to be calling you his baby. Who the fuck does he think he is shoving a woman like that.
“Don’t fucking call me that,” you spit. “I’m not your woman. Now leave Jungkook alone. He doesn’t need this.”
Jun-ho gives you a cocky smirk. “Oh? So he’s Jungkook huh? You know him too. You fucking him behind my back or something?” He takes a step towards you. Jungkook lunges forward seeing your obvious discomfort.
“Don’t touch her!” Jungkook stands between you and Jun-ho. He’s shaking so badly but he doesn’t budge. “Take another step and I’ll–I’ll–“
“You’ll pound me in the ground? You and what army? You can’t even talk.” He snorts and moves to toss Jungkook to the side. “Get out of my way.”
Jungkook feels the back of his neck heat with rage, his ears red and burning. There’s no way in hell he’s letting Jun-ho get to you.
“She told you to stop, so why don’t you just–fuck off!” Jungkook shoves Jun-ho back with as much force as he can. His body’s not built and his arm muscles aren’t as ripped but he’s got some big fucking thighs that manage to anchor him to the ground.
“You shit.” Jun-ho grits his teeth and punches Jungkook straight in the gut. Jungkook doubles over in agony. His hand clutches over his abdomen as he groans. You hurry in front of him but you’re thrown to the side by a pair of large hands. “Move bitch,” Jun-ho snaps, eyes bolstered on the smaller man.
“Hey, what the hell is going on over here?” The manager of the gym rushes over to the three of you. He grabs Jungkook and offers him support. “You can’t be doing this young man. You need to leave now.”
Jun-ho shakes his head. “Count yourself lucky this time Jungkook. Could have been a lot worse if it weren’t for this old man getting in the way.” He stares at the manager and then at you. “Come on __.”
“You’re fucking nuts if you think I’m coming with you. I’m staying with Jungkook.”
“No, you’re fucking not.” Jun-ho reaches for your arm until his head is knocked backward by a clean, punch to his jaw. “Fuck! You Fuck!” He holds his jaw, stumbling into a rack of dumbbells behind him.
Jungkook’s knuckles bleed as he holds his own wrist. He winces at the sharp throbbing and stinging from the punch. “Okay no more, no more,” the manager anxiously darts his eyes back and forth between him and Jun-ho. “I want you all out of my facility this instance.”
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After being thrown out of the gym, Jungkook returns to his dorm room. He insists he takes care of his injury himself but it doesn’t sit well with you so you follow him.
“I’m so sorry about this Jungkook. Jun-ho’s a bastard.” You finish wrapping his knuckles in the elastic bandage then lean forward to place your hands on his shoulders. “Promise me you won’t ever do that again.”
Jungkook holds your pleading stare from his seated position. Your soft hands are simultaneously soothing and unsettling. He’s not mad at you for what happened at all. But seeing you with a jerk like Jun-ho when you rejected him, someone who’d never treat his girl like a piece of trash causes all kinds of knots inside him.
“You’re not going to see him again right? Because I can’t make that promise if you do.” His voice is low, nervous that you'll say yes.
Jungkook might not have personal relationship experience but he's witnessed his share of unhealthy relationship dynamics more times he'd like to count.
“Jungkook…” You muster up the best reassuring smile you can and tuck a few loose strands of his hair behind his ear. “Nothing's going to happen between me and Jun-ho anymore. We weren't anything serious. But you care too much about me, I’m not worth the trouble.”
Hearing this, he reaches a hand up to close over yours. “Please don’t say that. Everyone deserves to be cared for and as long as I can help it, I’ll be the first to do it.” His big, doting eyes search into yours. "And good, don't go back to him __. He's not the type of man you need."
"And what type of man do I need Bambi?" You stroke his puffy cheeks and quirk your head to the side inquisitively. Jungkook flinches at the touch.
"Bambi?"
"You didn't like it when I called you baby so, had to come up with something else."
"But." There's that pout again. Jungkook doesn't like being called a baby but when someone reaching this level of adorable, its so hard to shake. "But I just knocked a bitch out for you. How can you keep calling me baby names?"
The chuckle that leaves your lips is heaven to Jungkook's ears. "Aww Jungkook," you coo. "It's 'cause you're a little honeysuckle. So sweet to the taste." His ears perk up at that, gnawing on his bottom lip. "But if you want me to call you something else that might take some more time for me to figure out. Until then do tell me, what do I need?"
"Someone that'll protect you."
"Mhm, okay but—"
"Emotionally, physically, and mentally." Jungkook lists out loud. "That means someone to stand up for you, support you in the ways you need. Someone to help keep losers like Jun-ho out who only look out for themselves." He pauses, contemplating thoughtfully. "You need someone you can trust too. When you're sick you'll be taken care of and he'll never ever cheat on you. Even if you fight, he'll always stick by your side. You'll watch movies together, cuddle under the covers, and stargaze on summer nights. He'll also peel perilla leaves for you and love you until sunrise. Finally, when the time's right he'll ask to marry you, only if you want, of course."
Jungkook waits for you to give him a reply, a little breathless. He notices the distance between you and him somehow got larger. You're now about two feet away from him when you were only mere inches before.
"I'm sorry." He lowers his head. "It's silly I know. Everyone tells me I'm some kind of dreamer boy, just a hopeless romantic."
"It's not silly Jungkook." You soften your expression. "It's a beautiful idea and somewhere out there will gladly share those things with you. You'll live a full life together having all those wonderful experiences."
"Wanna have them with you though." His eyes flicker up at you. "I really like you __."
Oh no, no no no. You push down the pressure building from inside you. "No, I can't. I'm sorry Bambi, I want to but you don't know me." A small tear spills out of the corner of your eye. "I'm not able to....I can't love you like that."
Jungkook gets up from his chair and reaches for your trembling hand. You're tempted to pull back if it weren't for the fact that your hand feels warm in his.
"I can," he says. "I can love you if you let me."
You shake your head, and another hot tear rolls down your face. "Sorry, I don't know why I'm even crying." You quickly wipe your wet cheeks.
"You don't always need a reason. Sometimes it just happens and that's okay. I cry all the time when I'm by myself." Jungkook grabs your other hand slowly. "Just wanna be here for you."
You blink back the remaining tears welling in your eyes. You're embarrassed this is happening at all. Jungkook is the sweetest, most kind-hearted, and most selfless person you know. He shouldn't have to be dealing with any of this.
"If we can't go out, is it okay that we are friends?"
"I don't want to do that to you Kookie."
"Hey, I like that one," he says with a lifted voice.
"You do? I didn't even think about it like the others."
"You were thinking about me?" He bounces in the air a little, at least that's what it looks like to you by the sudden rush of energy Jungkook responds with. He likes knowing you've been paying attention to him, even if only a smidge.
You dart your eyes past him, fingers curling in his hand. "Well I mean..." Jungkook waits intently. "I guess...yes, some."
"Oh please __, please let me take you out. We don't even have to call it a date."
"You're too persistent, you know that?"
"But is it working?"
"I'm not ready yet Jungkook." His shoulders slouch and he opens his mouth to say something though you continue before he can get anything out. "To give you an answer. I'm not ready to give you an answer yet is what I'm trying to say."
"Well, that's okay. You wanna think about it longer? We can four years until graduation."
"You're such a goof, you'd wait that long for an answer?"
Jungkook shakes his head. "No, I'd wait that long for you." He pauses. "Okay maybe I have been watching one too many Korean dramas. Even I threw up in my mouth a little."
Too both share a laugh, this is the weirdest, emotionally exhausting day ever. "Thank you for what you did today with Jung-ho. And for trying to comfort me. Will you possibly be able to wait another week? If it's too long you can tell me. I've made you wait long enough."
"A week from now, let's meet up okay? Or call at least. Even if it's a no, I don't want this to be the last time I get to see or hear you."
"Okay." You nod. "I promise."
And that was the end of that night, as Jungkook walks you to your dorm soon after. It was getting dark out after all.
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A/N: tysm for reading! Lmk what you think and if you wan to be tagged comment/ask 💞
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no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton
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shantechni · 9 months
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"2012 Mikey is Abused" and other constant complaints that, quite frankly, don't make sense
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Since one Reddit user (who shall remain anonymous) inadvertently made me type out an essay I intended to write and post in a more coherent manner at a later date, I will be using their comment and my response.
Anyways, the comment itself starts off fairly normal and agreeable:
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But then I see the next three points and my sleep-deprived mind just goes off the rails, so let's start with the second point:
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Let me preface this by saying I absolutely do not condone the writing here because everyone under the sun will agree that we could've easily had the "Karai is our sister!?" plot twist without Leo and Karai briefly developing feelings for each other.
The problem is that this brief development of feelings is wildly blown out of proportion by the fandom, so much so that it makes it seem as though Leo and Karai actually had anything legitimate going on between them.
The "incest-eqsue garbage" between Leo and Karai is almost nonexistent outside of the writing room. They openly crush on each other for a whopping six episodes by way of verbally teasing each other and being at odds before Karai tells Leo that she's the Shredder's daughter. That's it. He is not pursuing her after that (hardly ever did, not even to the extent that Donnie pursues April) and Karai isn't remotely fond of him anymore after he broke their deal. Then, after we find out alongside Splinter that she's actually his daughter, he tells Leo towards the end of Follow the Leader. We don't get a reaction, actually nothing on Leo's side since the Foot Clan is mostly absent with April being the main point of conflict, even in Target: April O'Neil because April's forgiveness of the turtles is the main focus.
Leo eventually attempts to tell Karai the truth in Wormquake! and The Manhattan Project and she obviously doesn't believe the poor guy, she just wants to kill the turtles and Splinter at this point. Leo doesn't tell her because "he still likes her", but because, in his own words, it would change everything. She deserves to know the truth and Splinter shouldn't have his own daughter cursing him at every waking moment. When she tricks the gang into bringing her to the lair under the guise of her finally accepting the truth, Leo is ecstatic and his first thought is for her and Splinter to make amends. He's upset that Raph still can't fully trust her in the end when she fought alongside them (who can blame Raph though, he's cradling an unconscious brother after a plan gone awry), and that's the end of that.
They dedicate two episodes to the guys attempting to rescue her because Leo has enough brain cells to worry about what the Shredder could be doing with her, and Raph makes a jab at Leo on one instance when they find her (there is absolutely no romantic undertone, Raph just picks at his old crush on her and their tendency to tease each other at the worst times). Then, when she wants to get back at the Shredder for ripping her away from a life she never knew was her's, Leo attempts to aid her because he knows it isn't wise to face someone like that alone, especially with his henchmen there.
There's one last self-aware jab at their past feelings in S5, of which Karai awkwardly remembers and forgoes mentioning, and that's the last you see or hear of that.
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As much as I dislike it, I'd take this narrative over the Donnie-April-Casey hurricane any day.
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It seems that 2012 Mikey's mere existence is a sore spot for fans because Jesus Christ this gets brought up way too much.
Mikey is not written as a complete idiot, he's written as someone who doesn't see a reason to take everything so seriously, has odd habits, and doesn't always think things through, yet is shown to be highly capable and intelligent when the situation calls for it. Yes the writers left much to be desired at times, but to say they wrote him to be a "complete idiot" and left it at that is just offensive. I'll ignore all the miraculous things Mikey can do with Kraang stuff and Dimension X and focus on what other things he's shown to be capable of.
Mikey was a temporary learning model for Donnie in how to fight without thinking, or in better terms, how to fight instinctually without becoming bogged down by your own mind. Splinter's lesson is shown in a comedic manner, but that's ultimately what helped Donnie defeat Falco.
Another interesting thing is his ability to keep his composure when no one else around him can do so. I mentioned this briefly in another post, but it really stands out to me how he put Leo at the top of his priority list in Invasion Part 2. He's as worried for Splinter as Raph and Donnie are, but they have with them a crippled and unconcious Leo who needs medical attention asap, compared to martial arts master Splinter who's older and wiser than the three of them combined at times. Even when they eventually find Splinter and lose him, he keeps the gang in line by reminding them, as well as himself, that Splinter can take care of himself.
Along with that is when Splinter was kidnapped in The Manhattan Project. Mikey was quick to intervene when Raph was angry with Leo for allowing Tiger Claw to coax him into calling Splinter, and he reminded the two of the problem at hand: they have Splinter, let's go find him and take him back. There are so many other moments when he becomes the levelheaded one in response to the chaos or disorder surrounding him.
Mikey is a highly skilled fighter, he's emotionally intelligent, he remembers the weirdest things that eventually aid the team, he's street smart, he's a fast learner (ex: Bradford's secret kata, as well as the temporary use of the plasma katana in Target: April O'Neil), he's great at distracting enemies without needing to become bait, he gets insecure about things, he has photographic memory, he's the most outgoing of his brothers and therefore ends up with the most friends, he's quick to adapt to a situation and think of a plan, he can throw together seemingly random ingredients to create exactly what Donnie would struggle to create, he knew exactly what to do to find Casey after his run-in with Tiger Claw, the list goes on.
Heck, just to add to this, Mikey is the one who saves the day in three separate stories in S5. 1) His temporary electric powers save the world from Dregg and the Newtralizer, 2) he convinced Frankenstein's monster to join their side, retrieved the scepter from Savanti and Dracula (he accidentally broke the scepter while he was at it, but that helped) and cured Raph and Donnie of their vampirism, and 3) he was the one who repaired Kavaxas' seal and made him reopen the portal to the Netherworld so the dead could return.
The brothers don't always take him as seriously as they should or listen to him, and that's understandable at times, but when they do, they're reminded of the fact that Mikey, in his own way, is intelligent.
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If I had a dime for every comment I've seen about this, I'd be rich enough to buy the TMNT series from Viacom and right every wrong they made with the 2012 series.
These abuse allegations are as bad as people putting Markiplier in the same tweet as problematic Youtubers and saying something wild like, "these content creators should've been cancelled a long time ago." I feel like people who say the brothers abuse Mikey are either an only child or genuinely have a warped sense for what actually counts as abuse, and I'm not even trying to be mean, those are just my thoughts. I shouldn't even have to comment on this, but the fact that people are still seriously believing that to this day is shocking.
Would you also like to say that Raph was abused in Turtle Temper when Splinter had the boys ceaselessly taunt him in that little exercise? Or that the boys abused Raph everytime they downplayed his anger? Or that Raph abused Donnie by threatening to hit him if he didn't find Snakeweed's hideout? Or that Leo abused Donnie everytime he stressed him out by rushing him for answers? Or that Donnie abused Mikey because Mikey flinched 2cm to the right when Donnie raised his hand to playfully knock at his noggin? Or that Leo was abused by the team because they took forever to view him as their leader? Or that Splinter abused the boys because he was "too rough" on them during training?? Or that April abused Donnie because she "constantly led him on"? Or that Xever and Bradford abused Baxter???
I'm losing my mind over here
Mikey is never physically or emotionally abused by his brothers, the show speaks for itself. But if you somehow aren't listening, go look up a textbook example of abuse, or better yet, look at Karai.
Abuse is the Shredder locking Karai in a dungeon when she tries to escape to her real family and going so far to become a peak manipulator by saying Karai was hurting him by making him lock her away. Worse than that, he starts brainwashing her with mind controlling worms so she has no choice but to obey him. Even before then, he's lowkey uncaring of her wellbeing: he treats her like any other soldier of his and doesn't listen to her when she tries to tell him something. He doesn't address her concerns about the Foot bots nearly finishing her off, instead telling her, "disobedience comes with a stiff penalty, especially for my daughter," when she objects to him telling her not to take action against the turtles while he's gone.
He only ever pays her any attention or gives her praise when it benefits him and his vendetta against Splinter.
Splinter and the turtles are the farthest thing from the image of a family filled with abusers. Raph openly apologizes to Mikey when Splinter tells him to stop picking at him in Shellacne, Raph comforts Donnie when the brainiac is somber after forcing Timothy into the equivalent of a cold sleep, Raph apologizes when his anger gets the better of him and he hits Leo harder than intended, Donnie apologizes when he realizes he shouldn't insult Raph when the guy is visibly upset, Leo regrets doubting Donnie about Metalhead, etc., etc.
Even beyond apologies, Raph is the quickest to entertain Mikey and vice versa during a mundane moment, Donnie never kicks Mikey out of the lab, Leo plays around with Mikey when the situation doesn't call for him to be their fearless leader, and Splinter is quick to advise Mikey during Karai's Vendetta and Shellacne. There are even times when the guys just go along with Mikey's antics because there's no harm in doing so, and often times Mikey needs a moment to be silly.
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If you think play fighting, teasing, or getting a little physical with a sibling is the equivalent of abuse, particularly in the context of TMNT of all things, you need to do some re-evaluation.
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y-rhywbeth2 · 5 months
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I know we sickos all love the tragic memory of Durge killing their parents as a child, but honestly - as a lover of interpreting Durge as a tragic eldricht horror cuckoo/changeling creature - my favourite memory is baby Durge playing tag with the other children in a "time before Bhaal".
They're being gentle with their friends, but the narration explicitly describes them as hunting and compares them to a predator. If Durge pities their child self the narration just goes: "Mayhaps that child was already a murderer." "Oh, sorry, did you think this was a happy memory?" asks the game before it points and laughs at your naivete.
You pair that with the little cuckoo killing their foster parents and it's very much like somebody took in a baby predator. Sure, it hasn't grown into its claws and aggression but then we reach the starting point of puberty and suddenly the once cuddly baby is a danger to everyone around it.
Oh, except that apparently there's a chance that Durge was already killing things as a baby!
We know they were aware of Sceleritas following them around when they were young, occasionally talking to them as he does in the dead family memory - even if he hadn't presented himself yet. Even if he doesn't always speak, did Durge grow up seeing him out of the corner of their eye?
The fun thing about Durge is that we get to make our own character out of the scraps we're given, so all of it is up to us to decide for our own characters/playthroughs.
I interpret Durge as being like the Bhaalspawn we meet in Throne of Bhaal, Gavid, and the 3.5e tieflings - they've always known they were different. Always had dark urges and whispers in their mind, coming from the essence in their blood.
Kids have accidents around them, pets go missing. Maybe they have black outs, maybe they're aware but can't stop (small children aren't exactly masters of impulse control). We know from a later memory that Durge feels self-hatred regarding their urges, so presumably they learnt enough to know this is wrong and feel guilt. Do they still feel pain and nausea if they resist? I'm going to assume for my own take that since they got the Urge back then, they did.
I wonder if their family ever took them to wizards and clerics, trying to find out if their child was cursed?
Then that family dies. Violently. Graphically. Another tragic accident taking place around the twitchy weird kid who sees monsters and hears voices.
If you play paladin then the Oathbreaker Knight tells you that you've broken your oath multiple times, so I assume that these disasters didn't stop happening.
And judging from the fact that they showed uncharacteristic compassion to a homeless person at the peak of their "I'm such an evil bastard villains like Elder Brains and the God of Tyranny are impressed" era, I think that Durge ended up homeless themselves at some point between losing their parents and joining the temple (I'm also pretty sure that's the period of their life the cannibalism memory happened in).
And then they "came of age" (I recall the age of majority being 15 in the Realms at some point, but can't find that anywhere so don't take my word for it) and Sceleritas introduces himself, and it's time for a family history lesson that explains everything and Orin gets a sibling she absolutely never wanted, ever - put that thing back in the ditch it came from, so help me.
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jyeshindra · 5 months
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ALL ABOUT VIRGO ASCENDANT
Hey y'all! We've got the next installment in the ascendant series (so close to the halfway point!) with Virgo!
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Ahhh Virgo, the dutiful maiden of the zodiac. I actually find Virgo to be one of the most interesting zodiac signs (mostly because Mutable Mercury in Earth is a crazy combination), and the ascendant is no less interesting!
Again, the ascendant is how the world sees us. It rules our physical body, our life path, the zodiac rulers of each house in our chart, our outlook on life, and how our energy purely manifests.
Virgo's ruler, as I said, is the observant and mischevious Mercury. But Virgo is a bit different from it's counterpart Gemini. Where Gemini is bubbly, activated, and motivated to communicate, Virgo is more about analysis. Picking things apart and reassessing it for practicality, efficiency, and economy.
The risings are much like this. They see the world as a project that can always be improved. There's always something to fix, something to readjust, something to change. They're noticing all the little details and how each detail is working in the mechanical whole.
It's why you're so put together, Virgo. These risings tend to be well-manicured. They appear neat and well-groomed, usually preferring understated clothing. They can also be a bit self-preoccupied; they always need to look or present themselves a certain way. Perhaps the eyes are bit doe-like or their features are petite and dainty. Some may wear glasses or some other accessory to highlight their intelligence and reserved nature. Regardless, their eyes always have this special intensity...like they're studying you and sizing you up. I once had a Virgo Rising friend who said whenever she goes on a date she looks first at a man's shoes, then works her way up for her analysis. Very on brand for a Virgo Rising, lol.
Virgos can range in their presentation a bit. Some are more anxious, self-aware, and self-critical. Some are more observant and analytical, quiet and reserved. Others are more warm and service-oriented. But again, there's an emphasis on efficiency and service/work.
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With a 4th House Sagittarius, these risings have a very Jupiterian-like home environment. There are many opportunities to learn, grow, and these natives may be blessed in many ways regarding their homes. However, with Sagittarius we usually find there is a message and a battle between man and spirit. Being mutable fire, Sagittarius wants to both investigate it's own actions and also disseminate information. Perhaps there was scrutiny in the Virgos home regarding their actions or a specific set of beliefs were established regarding what was acceptable or permissible in the home. In an unhealed manner, Sagittarius can be very stuck in its ways and attached to its ego. The home environment could be very rigid in this way...perhaps through religion, beliefs, faith, or education! School and learning may be very important to these individuals as it is something that could've been emphasized by the parents/home environment growing up.
In their private lives, Virgo Risings can indulge themselves in a variety of exciting behaviors. These types may like to drink, smoke, and vibe out in the privacy of their own homes. Or they love to learn and read about other cultures, far-away places, and interesting people. These natives have an innate curiosity about life that's been hammered into them!
Says a lot about the Virgo's discriminatory, cerebral nature and even their penchant for condescension/criticism.
Something else I'm now thinking about...perhaps Virgos need for control comes from a chaotic home environment. Mutable signs in general can hold space for turbulence both internally and externally. These are signs who most easily adapt. The home environment could've been filled with people/parental figures coming in and out. Family staying and leaving. Parental figures who were inconsistent or irrationally angry. Avoidant parents who did not know how to deal with conflict. Again, we can keep going and going and going with these Sagittarius themes.
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I'll try not to make the other house breakdowns too wordy. For the 10th, the public image, life, and vocation of these natives is ruled by Gemini! Communication and connection is ultimately how these natives manifest service in their lives. Often Virgo Risings will become actors (Timothee Chalamet, Janelle Monae, Emma Watson). This is a good indicator for music or some other lyrical ability as well. Jay-Z himself is a Virgo Rising. Another funny way it could manifest is with the examples of Steve Jobs and Rachel Ray! One created a company that revolutionized communication forever, the other became a lively TV show personality. All very Gemini vocations. Something about the information you have to share or the way you communicate is key here, Virgo Rising. You have the potential to inspire and be seen for your articulation and your mind. Enrich the qualities of both and you shall see success. It is Mercury who awakens your authority in life.
As for the 7th house, Virgo Risings can tend to pick partners who need help or who need to be fixed or saved in some way. Or partners who are just bad for them/toxic. This is the more unhealthy side of Pisces, a sign who can be severely ungrounded and drain the energy from others. Pisces is also a bit of a helpless energy and so Virgo Risings can manifest partners who reflect this. Virgo may attract emotional people in general! People who seek to dump their worries and emotions onto the Virgo. It's a very Virgo thing unfortunately. Everyone wants you to be there mother! People may sense you can heal them in some way or emotionally fulfill them...and while that may be true...boundaries! You are not here to serve everyone, Virgo! You are here to understand yourself and to fall in love with your imperfections. A humility can be found in Virgo and Pisces can help you do this! The opposition here is that Virgo needs Piscean partners/people who inspire a dreaminess, a loftiness, and an ease in Virgo. You do not have to work all the time nor do you have to be so hard on yourself. Pisces can teach Virgo unconditional love and how to devote their energy to things that truly matter and will emotionally fulfill them. They will teach the Virgo to listen to how they feel and to truly evolve from their experiences. And Virgo, you need someone who is just as devotional as you!
Virgos have to investigate their own wounds and fears around authority and independence. There can be some guilt and wounding around leadership and being selfish (Aries 8H) that can take time to heal. There could also be wounding around being too self-focused! Virgo can be so caught up in controlling themselves and their own lives that they become vindictive and judgmental rather than open and receptive. It's about calculated risks with the 8H and acknowledging the areas of our growth so we may challenge those beliefs and unearth our power through change! Once you do, you will find a sense of peace and earthliness (Taurus 9H). Learning those Taurean themes will set you free and become your philosophy and foundation. Firm boundaries, stubbornness, holding your own. Learning to value oneself and one's abilities. Learning to hold space and be open to others as well. This is what you must learn so you may achieve your highest potential and communicate your truth! (Gemini 10th).
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The esoteric ruler of Virgo is The Moon. Ultimately, Virgos learn to love without conditions, much like a mother loves their children. They focus on the immediacy of their needs rather than getting caught up in the details. Their lives become tapestries of healing and devotion rather than cold calculations. Information does not become the defense, instead it is distilled into medicinal wisdom that can benefit others. Virgo you are here to learn how to serve better.
That's all for this one folks! I had more to say here as a sidereal Pisces with a lottt of Virgo Rising friends. I tend to attract you all a LOT. Y'all bring so much rationality, care, and stability into my life and I appreciate it so deeply. I just want you Virgos to take care of yourselves and to open yourself up to new experiences! You can do it!
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