#and the art improvement is just??? so fucking good??? like it was good from the start

[noneorother]

The art director & the Good Omens book cover tier list of doom, part 1

This is going to have to be a multi-part series because there are *checks notes* 64 different covers that I've found so far.

I am your resident Art Director/Good Omens enthusiast, and welcome to my completely meta-free book cover tier list. Listen, making a book cover is HARD. I should know. But while we salute these artists for their hard work and time, I think we can all admit that once in a while, the vision is just not on. And on very rare occasions, publishers seemed to have managed to commission the cover art directly from hell... 1. The original UK cover

Ahh, the standard by which all shall be judged. We're starting off with a nice & easy cover, with adorable woodcuts of Aziraphale and Crowley flanking a custom Good Omens font! While I have to take a few points off for the terrible kerning of the word "GoOD", the blockprint vibes and general bitchiness of Aziraphale's teeny weeny wittle face, along with the sick colour palette puts the orignial in my good graces. Tier: Great

2. The duelling US covers

Progress! Hail to the designer who figured out trying to make "GoOD" and "OMeNs" fit the same width was a fool's errand, and even managed to IMPROVE on the original handmade title by adding a little halo and devil's tale to the design. Aziraphale and Crowley are facing each other, while also managing to serve absolute cunt. Aziraphale is wearing EIGHTIES SNEAKERS. Crowley's little snake boots have HEELS. They've managed to keep the woodcut vibes and colour simplicity, while balancing out the full title of the book. Both authors get to trade off on who's name comes first! Dare I say, this is a work of genius. I could dock some points for Crowley's sad bat wings growing out of his right clavicle, but who am I to question greatness.

Tier: Blessed by God Herself

3. The Halo Master Chief(?) cover

How the mighty have fallen... As a Canadian child, I was subjected to maybe the most horrifying ad in existence by the War Amps warning children about machine safety. This cover is the paper embodiment of that ad. I am confused by the purple haze. I am frightened by the seeming ethereal flatness of Adam and Dog. I am strangely aroused by Aziraphale's eyebrows, and intensely saddened by the terrible outline/drop shadow they had to inflict on the type to fit "Pratchett" in that god awful space. Tier: WTF

4. Germany, Ein Gutes Omen covers

This cover inexplicably exists in two colour ways: red and teal. I put the audiobook cover here so you could experience the full illustration, and also how fucked up it is that they cropped the book version to include three horse-people of the apocalypse, but cut off DEATH on the regular cover. Points must be given for drawing a pretty slick Bentley, but I think we have to take even more points away for turning Crowley into a Ray Charles/Mike Wazowski hybrid. The ducks are nice. Tier: Not so Good (Omens)

5. Germany, Ein Gutes Omen covers continued

I don't know if the German designer of this cover *knew* that they were using western yeehaw cowboy woodblock letters when they made this cover, but judging by how they spaced the rest of the text at the bottom, THEY DID NOT CARE. And that seems to be a running theme for this one. We get kind of a duality thing going on with the black and pink background, but it just seems like somebody whispered the general themes of Good Omens into a jar, and threw it down a well, and this poor chap came along and picked it up. The baffling choice to align every piece of text on the cover *except* Neil Gaiman's name which is right aligned and rotated 90 degrees (not even real vertical type) will haunt my dreams, I think.

Tier: Bad

6. US, UK The Traffic Jam cover

For the love of Good Omens, WHY. I can think of so many more interesting symbols to put on the cover of this book than the ODEGRA SIGIL TRAFFIC JAM. Props for keeping the good colours and type, but like, I think this cover was secretly designed by @amtrak-official, or someone who just really, really likes public works. Tier: Does the Job

7. France, De bons présages cover

Leave it to France to make sure people know that Aziraphale and Crowley fuck severely. While I can't condone leaving out half the title of the book (and thinking a red carpenter's square counts as decoration), I can begrudgingly acknowledge that Ron Pearlman and Benedict Cumberbatch's love child is excellent Crowley casting. I think I give this a solid dark academia/10. Tier: Good (Omens)

8. France, De bons présages covers continued

Just imagine with me, if you will, the absolutely hilarious reality that this cover posits: Good Omens is exactly the same in every respect, but Crowley drives a pink 1950s convertible. Why do all of the colours on this cover look like they've been pre-digested? Why are the font choices and placement so bafflingly bad. My face is the demon's face holding that car. I feel his pain.

Tier: WTF

9. France, De bons présages covers continued

Minus points for not managing to write the full title of the book once again. I don't know what it is with the French. They seem pretty set on Good Omens being demonic. While I do appreciate a good Bosch-style demon party, the dude in the middle confounds me. All-caps Museo Sans that isn't even *centred* in the frame is just so lazy. I am le tired. Tier: Bad

10. France, De bons présages covers continued

Uhh. The font. The font is okay.... I think? Yeah. The font and kerning are. Okay. OHHH GOD I LOOKED DOWN BELOW THE TEXT WHYYYY. Tier: WTF

END of round one. I need a nap.

#good omens 2 #good omens fandom #good omens #art director talks good omens #tier list #cover art #aziraphale and crowley #aziraphale x crowley #book cover #go s2 #gomens #good omens analysis

[rainofthetwilight]

have been seeing this going around so i decided to make my own!!

(just a disclaimer i havent rewatched some of the seasons in a while so i did this according to what i remember)

#ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #levi's ted talks #the most recent seasons ive rewatched r hunted and sog and theyre still as good and thrilling as when i first watched #a little of s1 too #i put it down there bc the writing was kinda weird BUT it was the starting point of ninjago so im never hating on it #plus the memorable moments like goddamn #i constantly rewatch s13 i love it too much #i cant bring myself to rewatch seabound bcaause knowing whats gonna happen next is so fucking PAINFUL 😭 #even tho im an angst lover the fucking seperation makes me bawl #my friend literally couldnt talk to me for a few days bc of the shock from the ending when it first came out #and to be completely honest DR is what got me fully back into the ninjago fandom #like id reblog posts n whatever but wasnt so involved #and id just rant with my friend abt it #but then when DR's release was announced i made my first post for it #(a redraw for an incorrect quote post: dig in my art tag and youll maybe find it . but beware) #and now im here with so many moots #art improvement and 3 fics and more coming aswell #how the fuck

[blujayonthewing]

Hi friend! What are your 3 favourite things you've ever made?

GREAT QUESTION I gotta chew on this one...!

I think number one favorite might be my Red Robe; I wish it had pockets, but it's super comfy and I drafted the entire pattern myself

honestly I REALLY love this spiral earring I made for my Caduceus cosplay; I like to just wear it around, the only reason I don't more often is that it's held together with magnets and I'm afraid I'll lose it

third might beeee the cloak of the manta ray? I drafted this pattern completely from scratch AND designed the gold accents myself where you can't see them in the DMG illustration AND the whole outer layer is waterproofed so it sheds water, I'm really proud of it

#THIS WAS A REALLY HARD QUESTION kdjfhkdgfj it's hard to narrow down #not even in a 'everything I make is so great' way but just in a 'I'm really bad at picking Favorites of anything ever' way lmao #two days from now I'm gonna suddenly remember some amazingly dope shit I made in high school or something aahaha #I also have a lot of answers with asterisks like-- the melliwyk art doll I started made(? makes?) me SO happy?? #but I still have never finished her :'D #conversely I've made a couple of sets of armor that-- one of them I'm REALLY proud of but it doesn't look good on me #and then there's my white dragon vex armor made me feel really fucking cool at the time but now I look at it like 😬 #lots of cosplay stuff tbh that I'm like 'at the time this sparked all the joy BUT now I just wanna improve on it' haha #I mean tbh I'd love to make a new cloak of the manta ray with a heavier fabric with a better drape too #god I have GOT to make more stuff I have way too many unfinished projects #or projects I've done Once but I'm like I COULD IMPROVE ON IT! I NEED TO MAKE MORE THINGS!! #anyway thanks for asking <3 #about me #husband #me

[lexicog]

OK New pinned post I am going to track & share my cleaning progress because I want to be healthy and not explode YAY

[ Updated 12/2 - 10:25 PM ]

#because this is replacing my last pinned post i'll just say here that i take commissions if you want one #i might reblog this periodically with updates or something and add new objectives if i think of them #i got a good breakfast today and nothing terrible happened so i think i have the mental fortitude to jump into it #oh yeah i have a microwave now so i can heat stuff up #so i did lettuce + tomato + capsicums with cream cheese melted on them + cracked pepper and a bit of salt #actually might be my favorite thing to eat ever rivaling sushi. just any vegetables or tubers or stuff and cream cheese #really good with pot #atoes #hey why did that tag get cut in twain. #when you do it with wet vegetables like tomato the cream cheese froths as you mix it in and it fucking rules #oh and i had sourdough with it #anyway yeah i gotta clean. there's a weird smell i'm detecting from where i'm sitting so i'm gonna go check that out first #art #my art #cleaning #good habits #hashtag self improvement #hashtag mental wellness #unsanitary cw #<- just in case lol

[crazysodomite]

ive become so bad at sketching and composition that im considering busting out blender and just make it there and paint over it 😦

#this is not a problem obviously this is okay to do #however im afraid that by using this i will never improve at sketching #genuinely ending it all because im so bad at gesture drawing. my fucking art skills are in reverse #really good at detail work but REALLY fuckig bad at the basics #just kill me at this point.lol #im starting to genuinely hate my art and it's been years YEEARS that i've never felt like this #i learned to love my art and be genuinely happy with it and now i feel like im backsliding. and brother #art is one of those few things thst keep me afloat. to be completely real #im not in full hatred mode but i feel it coming... if i dont get it together soon... then.... ? #i've tried just painting from uh #painting from.... от пятна короче #and its. kinda working and kinda doesnt #all the proportions feel warped and it's pissing me off. genuinely #it feels like it's all slipping from me #worthless 😂unskilled. #i do also think it's becasue of tunnel vision. it's been bad #it's been really bad #i just focus on 1 specific thing and can't let it go #and then the whole picture feels warped around that thing

[cicadaknight]

bruv

#i used to draw these really fun colorful portraits #and i’m tryna draw kotallo in the same style but i haven’t drawn people in so fucking long #like somehow i managed to draw his armor from reference just fine #but his face??? nope #trying to remind myself that not being immediately good at something is normal and necessary to improve #but goddamn art is hard #h

[kajinovaa]

after i wake up tomorrow, i know I'm gonna have to yap about Ramattra. for a moment i had been considering to make yips over on twitter cuz i kinda did already do a bit of brain dumping over there-

but then i quickly reminded myself how shit twitter is as a platform for spewing over fandom stuff, so expect my rambles to be on here instead. i totally need the space to just howl into the abyss over a probable new fixation forming/re-encouraging an already deep fixation for mecha in general hhhh

#fam- ive also gotten a sponraneous interest in godzilla too lately cuz i just finished watching the godzilla vs king kong movie yesterday #and it reawakened a suppressed obsession #because lemme tell you that i was OBSESSED TO THE CORE with the manhattan/2000 godzilla when it came out #like holy fuck #im just vibing here #absolutely refreshing after the exhausting hyperfixation i had with mha/bnha for a good 2 years #mha is cool and all but man idk i feels so dull to me now #kinda embarrassing how embedded i was #tfw i was 95% interested because of the pairing dynamics and learning from the style to improve with my own art #which im super thankful for hori dont get me wrong on that #and bakugou was a really fun muse to practice on #the unholy scriptures

[chisatowo]

Man I've been dead as fuck on here I miss posting stuff but idk what to post abt :/

#rat rambles #Ive mostly been thinking abd wc rp stuff and a lil bit of sploon and bndori but not enough that I feel motivayes to talk abt it #idk I might try doing an oc art ask game tomorrow maybe. like yall can give me two characters and Ill draw a scene between them #honestly if you wanna lock and load a pair ahead of time feel free to send it just know I might not get to it in a bit #I do have owed art Im working on still but Ive drawn more art than I have due total in one day before so Ill be fine #Im getting to draw monkeys for the first time so thats exciting!! Ive been wanting to for a while but havent had a good excuse to so Im #having fun with it :] #Im happy abt how flexible my artstyle is now if you asked me to draw a monkey like a year ago Id probably die djskhdjd #also Im soooo much better at poses now which also makes me rly happy #idk I just feel like my art is in a good place rn :] #I still have things I wanna improve on (mainly perspective) but all in all I think Ive made HUGE progress over the past year #I will say though I still feel like a lot of my stuff from abt a year ago still holds up (not all of it tho lol) #like in abt 2 months my beats animation will be a year old and thats fucking wild to me #but I will say I think in general my art is on average better quality noe #plus I will say the background in that animation was kinda shit Ive definitely improved on that frong djskysjs #I still have way more to go until Ill be happy with my ptoper backgrounds though #Im not bad at them per say but I dont rly know what Im doing with them either #I wanna be able to more easily get across the images I have in my head for backgrounds #Ill get there eventually tho #for now Im ok with where Im at Im sure Ill improve more as I draw as is always the case djsjhsks

[lindenforest]

did i really just deadass read a post about recognizing a//i images (i did it for signs of a//i "photos" to be informed about deepfakes) which had "notice the dead look in his eyes" (and its a picture of a guy with my normal resting expression) and a section on a//i drawing styled images which lists "a strong blush in the middle of the face and ears" as a possible a//i gene//rated image sign...

#maybe i am too autistic for the former part #for the latter part i LOVE putting blushies on my characters cheeks and when theyre elves on the ears #and some of the art styles they used as examples r kinda... what my more elaborate style would have been like were i much more skilled #so like... is the only part separating me from rotten tomatoes is that im bad at it #but that doesnt motivate me to improve does it? #i think i am done here. i dont think i will be able to post my art the same way ever again #i wont feel at ease with fellow artists because the community is Like That and feel no desire to make friends with any anymore rly #im done. maybe i should just crochet or whatever instead. #and just doodle my gen//pact coop adventures with my friend for the exclusive viewing of said friend #im not rly afraid of being targeted or anything. i am not good enough. but the atmosphere? this aint it. #i dont want to be in such a place #having read what i mentioned above im just lying here like (ʘ⁠‿⁠ʘ;) #what the fuck did i just witness?? #i rly came for useful infos but instead... that?? #how interesting - i long dreamed of making money with my art and selling merch and such and now i think that wont be possible - #not because of a//i gen//erated images posed as the bogeyman. but because of how rancid the artistic space has become over them. #so whos stealing my opportunities really?..

[hardrockshrimp]

I love clerks 3 so much, even if the worst guy ever flaked out on our plans to go see it in theaters last year

#he was like the only irl who liked clerks and he was like my friend #close to best friend and i had a huge crush on him but then he fucking forgot about our plans apparently #CAUSE HE WAS LARPING #its so funny thinking about it now but back then i was literally so fucking mad that i blocked him on everything #and havent talked to him since #AND IT WASNT JUST THAT YKNOW #cause we were friends yknow and i even suggested he move in with me and a friend when we did #cause he was in art school with me #but he was from texas and wanted to move here #but yea then i told him my feelings he didnt reciprocate. cool whatever we're still friends idc #then he flakes out on seeing this movie w me and it was my last straw IWKVOSKVOSKVKSF #cause he wasnt a good guy like at all in retrospect yknow #literally a white bisexual skater guy who 'goes by all pronouns' who preached about punk to me #me. a gay mexican trans man #not to pull out my minority cards but like QIKVKSKGKSIVKSKGKD I JUST THINK ITS SO FUNNY #but yea anyways um he was in the illustration department and his art was really bad tbh #but i gassed him up cause i thought he had potential to be like really good #but last time i saw [idk like half a year ago maybe] his art hasnt improved oopsie #i wanted to hit so bad #i remember one time i hung out in his dorm for some reason and he made me sit on the floor 💀💀💀 #like i asked if i could sit on his bed to work on stuff cause he was at his desk and he very sternly tells me to sit on the floor #anyways storytime over #wynn if youre reading this your art sucks and youll never make marvel comics #i know hes not on here cause he prolly thinks tumblr is cringe LMAO #ty to all who read my insane tags 🫶 #screaming into a paper bag #oops all tags #clerks 3 was so good though i cried in the theater and he will never ruin it for me #he did ruin a hell*ween song for me for a while until i saw it live in May and had a moment w sascha so my ailments are gone #anyways im on a clerks kick rn sorry

[runningwithscizzorz]

(1)Learn the rules before you break them + Gather proper references

(2) Understand what you want to break and how

(3) Can't do it? Find someone who can

(4) It's going to look really bad for a while

(5) Have fun with it!

(1) -Yes, I am that kind of artist. Yet, not in the conventional way. I encourage people to go in guns blazing when it comes to drawing something new, then coming out analyzing what they know, and what they need to learn more of right away.

-Here, I broke down the anatomical pieces of Nour and Narinder's face with the same labels so you guys can understand this weird invisible pattern that I follow in my work. Doing this with any animal you're attempting to draw greatly improves your line confidence when drawing different face shapes. Also understanding the biological function for why animals look a certain way helps you keep consistency.

(3) Time to throw any artistic guilt you have for heavily referencing people's art OUT THE WINDOW and start ANALYZING PEOPLE'S WORK YOU WANT TO BE LIKE✨ I've always done this, having a reference of someone else's amazing work right next to my own drawing so I can try and understand how they make their magic work! No shame, no embarrassment, nada. Pure, unadulterated will and spite that I would be just as good as the artist who made me so motivated and happy with their work! I couldn't figure out how to make Nour's face both sheep-like, and humanly expressive, so I looked at a LOT of Zootopia and old Disney art for help!

(2) With how I draw narilamb, I'm still working on it (as you can see) but I wanted to break Narinder's face to be fluffier and slimmer, while Nour's face would be shorter and flatter. If you look at it for too long, it's absolutely going to look weird, in the way that if you look at Anna from Frozen for too long she starts looking really weird. The anatomy isn't meant to be correct or consistent, it's meant to convey the emotion and energy I want out of the characters in that moment. If you're able to properly get that across, then you don't need to think about how broken something looks, as long as your eye is happy enough to trick your brain into thinking what you're seeing is canny.

(4) Yeah, I hate this part too. It's going to look like shit at first. I can't even look at my art from a few months ago when I was figuring out their designs... God, so fucking ugly. If it weren't for the shittiness of those drawings, I would have never gotten here! Wading through the "trust the process" stage always really sucks, but it's absolutely worth the relief of when you finally get something to look right.

(5) Art is work, yes. It's stressful, it's long, it's straining, its draining, it's exclaiming, blah blah blah. But, I try to keep my art FUN. If I find my artwork becoming slow as I depressingly drag my pen over my tablet, I'm failing. You MUST keep spirit and life in your work. The spirit of emptiness or the life of sadness can have a very meaningful place in art, but those can only exist with keeping work light, easy, and fun! If you're stressing how a specific thing looks or how you can't get something to look right no matter what, FUCK IT. Draw something to bring the flavor back in your work! I'm kind of rambling, but just, HAVE FUN!✨️ Be messy, scream, laugh, slash canvases, throw paint, smash sculptures, tear apart books, GO CRAZY

#liseysart #illustration #cotl fanart #cotl lamb #cotl narilamb #cotl narinder #cotl #cotl art #i really REALLY need to work on how i draw narinder haha! #when i feel stumped #i watch videos that make me laugh to bring my spirit back

[lackadaisycats]

Hey Tracy! Have you heard about the new Ai called Sora? Apparently it can now create 2D and 3D animations as well as hyper realistic videos. I’ve been getting into animation and trying to improve my art for years since I was 7, but now seeing that anyone can create animation/works in just a mare seconds by typing in a couple words, it’s such a huge slap in the face to people who actually put the time and effort into their works and it’s so discouraging! And it has me worried about what’s going to happen next for artists and many others, as-well. There’s already generated voices, generated works stolen from actual artists, generated music, and now this! It’s just so scary that it’s coming this far. 

Yeah, I've seen it. And yeah, it feels like the universe has taken on a 'fuck you in particular' attitude toward artists the past few years. A lot of damage has already been done, and there are plenty of reasons for concern, but bear in mind that we don't know how this will play out yet. Be astute, be justifiably angry, but don't let despair take over. --------

One would expect that the promo clips that have been dropping lately represent some of the best of the best-looking stuff they've been able to produce. And it's only good-looking on an extremely superficial level. It's still riddled with problems if you spend even a moment observing. And I rather suspect, prior to a whole lot of frustrated iteration, most prompts are still going to get you camera-sickness inducing, wibbly-wobbly nonsense with a side of body horror.

Will the tech ultimately get 'smarter' than that and address the array of typical AI giveaways? Maybe. Probably, even. Does that mean it'll be viable in quite the way it's being marketed, more or less as a human-replacer? Well…

A lot of this is hype, and hype is meant to drive up the perceived value of the tech. Executives will rush to be early adopters without a lot of due diligence or forethought because grabbing it first like a dazzled chimp and holding up like a prize ape-rock makes them look like bleeding-edge tech geniuses in their particular ecosystem. They do this because, in turn, that perceived value may make their company profile and valuations go up too, which makes shareholders short-term happy (the only kind of happy they know). The problem is how much actual functional value will it have? And how long does it last? Much of it is the same routine we were seeing with blockchain a few years ago: number go up. Number go up always! Unrealistic, unsustainable forever-growth must be guaranteed in this economic clime. If you can lay off all of your people and replace them with AI, number goes up big and never stops, right?

I have some doubts. ----------------------

The chips also haven't landed yet with regards to the legality of all of this. Will these adopters ultimately be able to copyright any of this output trained on datasets comprised of stolen work? Can computer-made art even be copyrighted at all? How much of a human touch will be required to make something copyright-able? I don't know yet. Neither do the hype team or the early adopters.

Does that mean the tech will be used but will have to be retrained on the adopter's proprietary data? Yeah, maybe. That'd be a somewhat better outcome, at least. It still means human artists make specific things for the machine to learn from. (Watch out for businesses that use 'ethical' as a buzzword to gloss over how many people they've let go from their jobs, though.)

Will it become industry standard practice to do things this way? Maybe. Will it still require an artist's sensbilities and oversignt to plan and curate and fix the results so that it doesn't come across like pure AI trash? Yeah, I think that's pretty likely.

If it becomes standard practice, will it become samey, and self-referential and ultimately an emblem of doing things the cookie-cutter way instead of enlisting real, human artists? Quite possibly.

If it becomes standard industry practice, will there still be an audience or a demand or a desire for art made by human artists? Yes, almost certainly. With every leap of technology, that has remained the case. ------------------ TL;DR Version:

I'm not saying with any certainty that this AI blitz is a passing fad. I think we're likely to experience a torrential amount of generative art, video, voice, music, programming, and text in the coming years, in fact, and it will probably irrevocably change the layout of the career terrain. But I wouldn't be surprised if it was being overhyped as a business strategy right now. And I don't think the immensity of its volume will ever overcome its inherent emptiness.

What I am certain of is that it will not eliminate the innate human impulse to create. Nor the desire to experience art made by a fellow soul. Keep doing your thing, Anon. It's precious. It's authentic. It will be all the more special because it will have come from you, a human.

#art #lackadaisy #technology

[rad-batson]

The Batkids and The Arts (Feral Edition)

They’re all musical theatre nerds. Every single one of them. Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Cass, Jason, Steph, Tim, Duke, Damian. They go see Broadway shows together then don’t stop talking about it for like a week. It is the one bonding activity they will never pass up.

Jason and Steph once entered a ballroom dancing competition and won after some pompous rich kids insulted their moves during a gala. Since then, they’ve entered a competition every month or so just for fun. (And for the prize money :P)

Tim is an avid believer that Culinary Art is one of The Arts. (Can he cook? Absolutely not. It was Bernard that convinced him, but he stands by it.)

Duke talks through every single movie he watches. He always promises to be quiet at the beginning, but then he gets too excited and whispers commentary to the people around him. This habit has since bled into the entire family. They are no longer welcome at the local AMC.

Every single one of them is pretentious about something.

Dick is pretentious about any and all performance arts featured at the circus. Once, someone made a joke about going to “Clown School” and Dick screamed at them about how not even their pinky would have the privilege of being admitted into clown school.

Jason is pretentious about classic literature. They can no longer tell if his jokes and references to Shakespeare and Jane Austen are correct or if he’s just fucking with them.

Cass gets pretentious about martial arts being a performance art. She is also pretentious about ballet being a martial art. She could kill a man in fifth position without losing her balance, and that’s a fucking fact.

Stephanie is very good at acting pretentious about the arts. She absorbs everything she’s learned from the rest of the bat family’s interests then pretends to be pretentious about it to mock them while sneaking in just enough correct information so no one can call her out on it. (Her true interest is graphic design.)

Tim has no professional experience with photography, but he will be pretentious about it like he knows everything. (Bruce: Tim, why is there a filter on this evidence photo you took? Tim: I thought it looked nicer that way. Really makes the blood splatter pop.)

Duke isn’t exactly pretentious about writing, but he will lay down his life for the Oxford comma. (Bruce didn’t use it until Duke called the punctuation in his mission reports “insulting.” He now uses it.)

Damian is pretentious about studio art. If he ever hears his family or friends say, “I don’t get it,” at an art museum, he will make them look at it for five minutes as he explains in painstaking detail what’s so revolutionary about it.

The kids decided to take an improv class together once for their undercover work while Bruce and Alfred were out of town. It was so fun that they still play improv games when they’re bored.

Cass is secretly a metalhead.

Whenever one of the younger kids needs to write an English paper, they will just walk up to Jason, riddle off a dumb opinion about the book or poem they had to read, and record whatever Jason ends up lecturing them about. The most recent incident resulted in an award-winning paper about how the theory that William Shakespeare never wrote his own work is deeply rooted in classism.

Damian always has paint under his nails. It just never comes out.

Dick has personally taught everyone in the family how to do The Perfect Backflip. They all get a little ceremony once they’ve mastered it. There is cake.

Whenever Cass is standing around with nothing to do, she’ll practice her foot positions for ballet. The others always notice and follow her lead.

Jason: dramatically recites a poem in the living room Steph: starts beatboxing

Steph is always the first to find typos or continuity errors in a book, play, or movie. She doesn’t intend to; it’s just second nature to her. (She is now Duke’s official proofreader.)

Duke: So how’d you like the movie? Damian: I really loved the mise-en-scène, especially during the breakfast scene and that one shot near the end with the warehouse doors. Duke: *nods thoughtfully* Everyone Else Leaving the Theater: wtf is a meez on sen?

When Duke is finished writing something and wants to share it with his family, he’ll give it to Jason and Cass first.

Jason and Duke have frequent passionate arguments discussions about who is the best poet. Never bring up Dickinson, Poe, Shakespeare, Hughes, Plath, Wilde, Kipling, Sappho, or Angelou in their vicinity unless you want to start it up again.

Damian is surprisingly good at acting. Too good.

Dick knows your music taste before you do. He has a carefully curated playlist for every single family member, every possible combination of family members, and every possible mood at the ready.

They can and will correct anyone who mistakes Gothic architecture for Victorian or Gothic Revival and vice versa. (It’s really a Gotham thing.)

Tim: How dare you call The Grand Budapest Hotel the best prison break movie when it’s clearly The Shawshank Redemption! Jason: Well, as someone who’s BEEN TO PRISON, I think I should know! Dick: It’s clearly Chicken Run! You’re all just Chicken-ist. Duke: But what about Midnight Express?! That one’s so good! Steph: Has anyone mentioned Toy Story 3 yet? No? Damian, watching from the sidelines: I liked Escape from Alcatraz. Cass: Same.

There are several art pieces in the manor that have been positioned directly over top of bullet holes and other suspicious damages.

Damian and Duke made an animated short film once for the Gotham Film Festival. Dick and Cass were their models for the concept art. Tim did historical research. Jason helped Duke edit the storyboard, and Steph was the continuity supervisor. It was about a British super spy working for MI6 that saved the world in the late 70’s. It was titled Agent A.

#batfam #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batkids #bat family #dc #dc universe #batman #dick grayson #jason todd #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #tim drake #duke thomas #damian wayne #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #bernard dowd #nightwing #red hood #black bat #spoiler dc #red robin #the signal #dc signal #dc robin #dc headcanon

[permanentswaps]

Breaking Eric’s Trust Pt. 2

Read Part 1, written by vice versa swaps, here.

Will:

After the swap, we walked back through the parking lot and Bryce drove me back to my new home. My new body was much leaner than I was used to, making me feel a bit disoriented as I walked through the door. But I couldn't deny the appeal of Bryce’s youthful a physique – even if it was very different from the heavy muscles I'd worked for decades to build on my own body.

Entering Bryce’s room, I took in the surroundings and decided to try my hand at some sketches.

"Let’s see if this really improves my art skills," I thought to myself.

I quickly found myself engrossed in the creative process, a feeling I'd been craving to get back to. As the sketches took shape, I couldn't help but admire the dexterity of my new hands.

Distracted, I gently traced my fingertips along the veins of my opposite hand. Slowly I traced up my forearm and to my bicep, which I flexed. I then moved my hand over to my muscular chest and grazing my new sensitive nipples. I raised my arm to flex in the mirror and thought to myself “This body may not be as strong as mine, but it’s hot as fuck. Why would Bryce ever want to give this up.”

Hot and bothered, I retreated to the bathroom where I stepped into the hot shower. Felling the hot water falling across my back, I lowered my right hand to my cock while feeling my muscles with my left.

“I’m so fucking sexy. I’m so fucking sexy.” I growled to myself, before eventually cumming across the shower wall. As I came down from climax, I shook off the thought, reminding myself I’m only borrowing this body.

Just as I finished up in the bathroom, my phone rang – it was Eric, asking to hang out. When Eric arrived, I greeted him with a smile, trying to act casual.

"Hey, Eric! What's up, man?" I, now in Bryce's body, said, attempting to sound as natural as possible.

"Not much, man! Just figured I'd swing by and see what you're up to," Eric replied.

I chuckled, "Oh, not much. Wanna play some Call of Duty?"

The two of us settled into the gaming setup, controllers in hand. As we played, I couldn't help but marvel at the experience of hanging out with my son from a different perspective.

In the midst of the gaming session, I saw this as my opportunity to ask about things I wouldn’t normally know about.

"How are you feeling about going away to school?" I asked, trying to keep the question casual.

"A bit nervous, but I’m mostly excited and ready to get out of the house – date some hot girls. I am worried about my dad though; it's gonna be tough for him to be alone like this, I think," Eric replied.

I felt a twinge of sadness at Eric's response but turned my focus back to the game.

Changing the topic, Eric asked, "How about you, how are you feeling about the gap year?"

I hesitated for a moment, then replied, "I'm not sure if it was the right choice, to be honest."

"Well, at least in a year, you'll still be off to college. Then, we’ll be able to hang all the time and you'll have your pick of all the guys there," Eric said with a playful grin.

I smirked to myself, "Yeah, that'll be great," before indulging in a brief fantasy about what it would be like to live Bryce’s life in college instead of just here at home.

Bryce

A week had passed since we visited the lab, and Mr. Sullivan and I had gotten surprisingly good at mimicking each other's mannerisms and habits. As we were packing up the car to move Eric up to campus, he casually asked, “Would it be alright if Bryce came with us to drop me off?”

“I think that’s a great idea,” I responded, happy to not let Mr. Sullivan miss out on this big moment.

The three of us drove up to campus together, joking and listening to music the whole way. We grabbed a quick bite to eat before walking around the campus and bidding an emotional farewell. Mr. Sullivan, in my body, teared up a bit, to which Eric laughed and said, "Don't worry, dude. I'll FaceTime you all the time," before playfully punching his shoulder.

As we climbed back into the car to drive home, I realized this was the first time Mr. Sullivan and I had been alone together since the swap.

"How are you doing?" I asked, glancing at him.

"Alright, I guess. I'm just really going to miss him," Mr. Sullivan responded, a hint of melancholy in his voice. "The other night we were hanging out, and he told me he was worried about me, or you now, I guess. He thought I’d be lonely without him, and damn, I think he’s right."

"Oh, really? I'm sorry to hear that. But at least you know he cares," I said, attempting to offer some consolation.

"Yeah, I guess," he sighed.

"And hey, you've still got me," I added playfully, reaching over to place my thick, callused hand on his thigh. I gripped the steering wheel with the other hand, feeling the warmth radiating from him. It was clear he was blushing, and I couldn't help but smirk.

We pull into the driveway and stumble into the house. I pinned him up against the wall in multiple spots, and we shredded our clothes as we went. I was enjoying the virility of this body – I was strong before, but never like this.

Tossing my former body onto the bed, I asked, “What do you want me to do to you.”

Looking up and biting his lip submissively, Mr. Sullivan asked, “You know the other day at the lab when I said, ‘you can do whatever you want with my body when you’re in it.’” I nodded. “I really meant anything,” he said.

After loosening him up with my fingers, I rolled on a condom and began to slide myself into my former body’s tight hole. It had been a while since I had taken anything this big, and I could feel the tightness around my new cock. Yet, something wasn’t cutting it.

After a few minutes of fucking, I growled “Daddy wants to feel all of you, I hope you like it raw,” growled before taking off the condom and sliding back in. The ecstasy was almost too much to handle and we climaxed together shortly thereafter.

The next morning, I woke up in bed, feeling the warmth of sunlight filtering through the blinds. Stretching and yawning, I rubbed my face, the rough texture of a beard grazing my palms. Glancing to the other side of the bed, I saw Mr. Sullivan in my body still peacefully asleep.

As great as last night was, a slight twinge of remorse tugged at my emotions. The idea of betraying Eric's trust weighed heavily on my conscience.

Deciding to focus on the present, I smiled softly before leaning over and gently kissing Mr. Sullivan on the cheek just like he had done at the swap labs before we had exchanged bodies. As Mr. Sullivan stirred awake, I greeted Mr. Sullivan with a warm smile.

"Good morning," I said, still getting used to a deeper voice. "Sleep well?"

Mr. Sullivan rubbed his eyes and sat up. "Yeah, surprisingly well. This body of yours is quite comfortable."

I chuckled, "Glad to hear it,” before diving back in to start round two.

A few months later

Over the course of the fall, Bryce (we’d begun to refer to each other using our former names) and I navigated the complexities of each other's. I was pretty successful in fighting my lonely streak, having met a lot of new friends at the gym and through my new local softball league.

Meanwhile Bryce was also working out like crazy and had flourished in his artistic pursuits, getting admitted to an art fellowship program that he could do for the rest of his gap year.

Hidden from prying eyes, our secret relationship also continued to thrive. Even though we didn’t tell Eric, he still clocked the positive change. A few weeks ago, during a Facetime call after a particularly enjoyable afternoon session with Bryce, he teased, "Wow, Dad, you're looking great. Honestly glowing... what … or who … have you been getting up to?" I laughed it off in the moment, but as time dragged on the weight of lying to Eric grew heavier on my conscience.

Finally, it was now the day before Thanksgiving break, meaning that Eric will be home tomorrow for the first time since we dropped him off. While Bryce had been up to visit him a couple of times, I still hadn’t seen him in person for months.

I invited Bryce over to the house, ready to figure out what to do. We laid together on the bed. I sat leaning against the headboard and some pillows and his head rested gently on my bare chest.  

"I gotta level with you, Bryce. I'm feeling really guilty,” I said, using my thick fingers to stroke Bryce’s torso through his halfway unbuttoned shirt. “I'm not sure I can keep up this lie to Eric much longer," I confessed.

Will, his expression thoughtful, suggested, "Well what if we just came clean to him now?"

"No, if we did that, I don't think he'd ever trust either of us ever again," I replied.

"We could swap back now," he proposed tentatively, a look of disappointment flickering across his face.

Pulling his lean body in closer to mine, I smirked. Nibbling on ear I said in a raspy whisper, "You wear that ass way better than I ever did, no way in hell am I going to make you give it up."

He looked at me, blushing, and I continued, "No, as much as it kills me, I think we need to end our relationship."

Will nodded, another look of disappointment flashing across his face before he replied, “Alright Will, if that’s what you really think is best.”

“But before we do, I need to feel my tight ass one last time,” I growled.

I got up and moved to his side before finishing unbuttoning his shirt. Then, gently running my hands from his torso around to his lower back, I motioned to take of his pants and briefs.

As I ate out his ass, I could feel my beard scratching against his smooth cheeks. Once he was loose, I got on my knees, raised his legs over my shoulders, and slid my raw cock into his tight hole.

After what feels like hours of fucking in every position imaginable, he’s finally riding on top.

Throwing his head back in ecstasy at me he moans to himself, “Oh fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. This body is so fucking hot.” Feeling himself up, he continues, “This is all mine. I deserve this. I am such a fucking hot hunk.”

I look up at him, a twinge of nostalgic regret washes over me. But as quickly as that feeling arrives, Bryce looks down at me and says, “Oh yeah, and it’s all thanks to you Will.” A naughty smirk crossing his face he continues, “Tell me how much you want me.”

Picking up the pace of my upward strokes I grunt, “Fuck yeah Bryce, you’re so fucking hot.”

“Fuck right I am, say my name again” he yells back.

“Unghhh Bryyyyceeeee,” I moan. “Take that dick, Bryce,” I grunt, grabbing his cock.

He leans over moaning, “Oh fuck yeah Daddy, I’m cumming” before kissing me and gently stroking my sensitive nipples.

That is enough to send me over the edge, coating his insides with my seed as we cum simultaneously.

Basking in the afterglow, I feel my meat still throbbing deep inside him.  “Well even if we can’t be together, I still hope we can do that every once in a while,” he said, continuing to feel up my sweaty, muscular torso.

Biting my lip, I reply, “I don’t see why not.”

[lastoneout]

Ngl the concept of natural talent has done so much harm to our relationship to art and I hate it. No one is naturally talented at anything, get that idea out of your head. Artists are not like, special or gifted or blessed or whatever, we're just people who like art enough to keep making it, and thus there is nothing stopping you or anyone else from making art. You were not born without the artist gene and thus doomed to never find joy in drawing or singing or acting or sculpting, you're a person and people have ALWAYS made art.

It just like, it fucking kills me so much every single time I hear someone say that they would love to draw but they're just "naturally bad" at it and so they can't, especially when they then contrast themselves against me and imply I have some natural talent that means I can be an artist because no!! I don't!! The only reason I'm "good" at drawing is bcs I never stopped. I picked up a crayon as a baby and I never put it down and so I have like 27 years of experience drawing, that's why I'm "good" at it. So please trust me when I say anyone can draw. And cook. And paint and sing and act and dance. You were not born lacking, you're just new to it! You just have to keep going, you'll get better!

I just...it's so fucking heartbreaking to constantly hear the people around me essentually claim that they were born incomplete and thus they can never have fun drawing or singing or just making art. That's a horrible thing to believe, and I know our society does nothing but reinforce it by punishing us for not being perfect and making a mockery of amatures and pushing the talent myth, but trust me, you were not born wrong. There is no "make art gene" that you're missing. As cheesy as it sounds, you actually can learn to do almost anything if you put your mind to it. It might not be easy, but you are not broken. You're just learning.

I've posted this before but I'll post it again bcs he's right:

Making art is human. You can make art. Hell, you can make bad art! You don't have to improve! Art isn't about good or bad, it's about partaking in a human activity because it makes us happy. I really think society would be a better place if everyone was allowed to make as much art as they want, good or bad, bcs this weird dual reverence for talent and disregard for the actual work that goes into art just serves to bolster the capitalist, AI ridden hellscape that we live in today.

Anyway, if you are one of those people who is holding back from trying some kind of art bcs you're not talented, do me the favor of trying again. I want to see all of the beautiful, earnest, imperfect art my fellow humans make. We need that now, honestly. So please, don't give up. Make art. And if you can't, well, at least try to support the people around you who do, even if they aren't churning out masterpieces. Trust me, it's good for you. It's good for all of us.

#sorry time for my usual “you can make art actually yes you I'm not kidding” rant #art advice #writing advice

[toxicanonymity]

midnight blow

3.3k / slasher!Joel x f!reader | slasher masterlist

beautiful slasher!Joel art by @bonezone44 💙

joel master / SLASHER JOEL MASTER

Can read alone w/ recap below.

RECAP (midnight tow): You were DTF with your tow truck driver Joel, then you offended him and he almost killed you just because. You fucked for your life and promised him a bj. Now instead of strangling you and shredding your car, Joel is taking you home--just for the night, he claims.

SUMMARY: Joel takes you back to his camper and you suck him off, then go to bed with him where you find a way to take control of the whole situation and make your getaway.

WARNINGS: I8 plus, spanking, hair pulling, oral m receiving, ball sucking, face fcking, degradation, somnophilia, dubcon unsafe P in V, creampie, riding, jacking off, implicit threat of violence, the tables turn,  joel is a serial killer. NO Y/N.

dividers by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Joel drives the tow truck deep into his sprawling, dilapidated property. You’re straddling him the whole time, with his cum trickling out of you and onto his coveralls.  He opens the window and you enjoy the breeze.  Your dress is pressed up against his dirty white tshirt. Your head is over his shoulder facing the back of the truck.  You said you wanted to suck his cock, and you guess that’s what you’re going to do. Yeah, you’re letting him take you to a second location, but it feels like an improvement after having a ligature around your neck thirty minutes ago.   You’re going to have to suck it so good he falls into a coma so you can make your escape.

By the time the tow truck rolls to a stop, Joel is getting hard again beneath you, and his hips are moving, grinding into you. He cuts off the engine and puts his hands on your thighs.  You pull your head back to look at him. A toothpick rests between his teeth.  He grabs it out of his mouth with his thumb and forefinger and says, “you’re a damn good time, sugar. Lucky for you,” before throwing it out the window and returning both hands to your thighs. 

His hands slide to your ass, his hips lift into you again, and he says “Mmm.” He tilts his head back against the headrest,  falls into a trance and brings his fingers to your cheek.  He thumbs your bottom lip and you let your jaw fall open.  He wets his lips and murmurs, “you look thirsty, sweetheart. C’mon.” 

Joel pulls the handle of the truck door and pushes it open for you.  You’ve learned your lesson, and when you climb down, you stand there obediently.  It’s still dark out, and you’re parked right at the treeline in front of a small camper.  There are party lights strung outside the camper and a blue volvo parked next to it.  It’s impossible to tell how dense the woods are or how far the trees go back.

Joel hops down from the tow truck and mumbles, “good girl. smart, too. nowhere to run.” He gestures toward the camper and you obediently walk in front of him. As soon as you’re in front of him, he slaps your ass and says “Ouch!” for you.   

When you get to the door, he reaches around you to open it.  It isn’t locked.  You go inside and to the right where there’s a kitchen area.  You stand awkwardly with your arms crossed and look toward him.  There’s a sad old sofa with a folding tray in front of it and the cardboard from a Hunger Man  meal.  The windows are tilted open, and the camper smells faintly of sweat and cigarettes.  

As soon as he gets inside, he reaches over his shoulders to pull his dirty t-shirt off over his back and discards it.  Then he looks down at the crotch of his jumpsuit and slowly rubs the sticky dark blotch that rests over his hardening cock.  “Now look at this mess you made. Must’a stretched you out good.” He looks at you and his face hardens as he tells you,  “Sit down,” and points at the sofa.  You sit on the old sofa, grateful to be alive, and he disappears into the restroom. There’s a tv across from the sofa.  

-

The water turns on and off a few times, and when he comes back, he’s in dark blue joggers with no shirt.  His torso is solid, tan, with only a little chest hair and a happy trail.  He’s built, with a little bit of a belly.  His arms are hulking.  He goes to the refrigerator, pulls out a five pack of beer, and un-rings two of them. He hands one to you as he sits down.  He wants to hang out. 

He asks you what kind of tv you like. You say reality tv, the first thing that comes to mind.  

“No shit,” he nods with a contemplative frown.  You sit there and drink your beer, pretending to watch a kitchenware infomercial he seems genuinely fixated on.  When your beer’s empty, you put it on the tv dinner stand next to his can and look at him. You’ll never have more liquid courage, so you might as well make a move. 

You scoot toward him and put your hand on his closest knee then drag your fingers up his thigh. 

He tears his eyes away from the tv and whispers darkly.  “There’s my sex kitten."

You massage his inner thigh, getting closer and closer to his cock, watching the bulge in his joggers grow. Then you run your hand over it.  

You press your palm into his hard manhood, sliding over the fabric, only moving an inch in either direction as you apply pressure.  Then you cradle it with your fingers.  

His breath deepens. “Oh you’re purrin’ for it, aren’t ya, kitty.”

You nod. 

He drags the TV dinner table out of the way without standing up.  “On your knees.” 

You get on the floor between his legs and he watches with a scowl as you continue massaging him. The flickering blue light of the tv illuminates him.  Your knuckles dig into his lower belly as you hook the fingers of each hand into his waistband. 

You pull his cock out, then he holds it by the base.

With his other hand, he reaches between the couch cushion and armrest and fondles a black plastic object.  When he sees you eyeing it, he pulls it up out of the couch and a blade emerges.  A large knife.  He takes his hand away from his shaft and presses the point of the knife into one of his fingertips, admiring the blade as your hands wrap around his cock.  

You get up on your knees and lower your head into his lap. When you inhale, his musk sends a pang between your legs.  You quickly suck his tip into your mouth.  He continues to admire the blade, now just inches from your head. You suck him thirstily, making good on your claim that you really wanted his cock in your mouth.  He sighs as you take as much of him into your mouth as you can. He sits back and holds the knife on the armrest. You take his length down your throat.  His girth is challenging. Your jaw quickly begins to get sore. You bob your head, slurping and sucking hard with your lips curled over your teeth. 

He puts one hand on your head and with the other he fidgets with the knife on the arm of the chair. He moans and you glance up to see his head resting back against the cushion with his eyes closed. 

You take the opportunity to glance around to see what you could use for your escape or self-defense. You rotate your knees and change angles so you can better survey the RV for a flashlight or weapon.  

He grabs you by the hair and makes you look up at him. “What the hell are you doin’?” He pulls your head off his cock. 

You shake your head, “nothing, just curious.”

“Well, get curious about my balls.” He pulls the waistband under his balls and glares at you. 

“oh my god,” you whisper with your eyes wide, admiring his cock and balls together.

He nods slowly. You cradle his balls in one hand and take his cock all the way into your mouth with the other, getting it wet for your hand.  Then you slowly stroke his shaft while turning your mouth’s attention to his balls.  You lick up the seam of his scrotum and he shudders. “Fuck, woman.” 

You swirl your tongue around one ball before taking it into your mouth.  It really is a mouthful.  You suck  his ball and stroke his cock and glance up to see his stomach rising and falling, nudging your pinky. He groans as you suck.  You give the other one some attention.  He shifts under you and you glance at his cock to see precum  leaking from his tip. 

You try taking both into your mouth at the same time, but it’s too much. He laughs at you. Then you start sucking again and his face darkens.  You trail your tongue down and tease his taint. His balls tighten.  You lick where they meet his cock, then drag your tongue all the way up to the head and take him into your mouth again.  He pulls your head down on his cock again and again. “Fuck, yeah, fuck, oh god” then he twitches between your lips. He slams your head down with his tip at the back of your throat and breathes, “Oh fuck you, kitten,” before exploding into your throat with a groan. 

You choke on his cum, but he doesn't let you take your head off his cock yet.  Your eyes water and he shakes his head at you, then closes his eyes, emptying the last of his load.  

Finally, he releases your head and you let him out of your mouth.    

You cough and cough, then you thank him. He stares at you.  “For letting me suck your cock,” you clarify.  One side of his mouth curls upward and he looks at you darkly.

He tucks himself back into his pants, then holds the knife in his hand and touches the point to a finger, admiring it again.  You’re still collecting yourself when he furrows his brow and says, “I dunno if I’m gonna need this. What do you think?” 

You shake your head no. 

He looks at you skeptically.  “long as you're here, you gimme what I want, when I want it.”

“Yeah,” you nod. “But-” He wraps his fingers around the handle.  

You continue, “but what about when I want it?”

His face softens in amusement.  “Oh-ho-ho, you really are a slut, aren’t ya?”

---

Joel puts the knife down, stands up, and stretches his arms behind his back.  His bulge presses out against his joggers as his broad chest juts into the air. His triceps flex behind him.  Then he stretches an arm over his head and you get a whiff of his sweat. 

“Clothes off," he commands. 

You remove your dress and he motions for you to go in front of him. "Shower." 

It's a tiny bathroom. He makes you sit on the shower floor while he cleans himself. You hug your knees and watch the gray water go down the drain as he washes away the day. You look up at his hulking quads as he lathers his pubic hair with a bar of soap.  He grumbles, "whole bar just to get the whore off me." He puts the soap in the hanging shower caddy. 

After showering, Joel dries off then makes you use the same towel. You’re about to put your dress back on when he says, “you’re in luck. just did laundry.” He hands you a light blue laundry bag half-full of clean but wrinkled clothes.  You rifle through it and your stomach turns.  There are women’s clothes mixed in with his.  Different sizes, some of them ripped and stained. You freeze and stare at a crop top with a short cut on the breast and a brown stain around it. 

Joel loses patience and asks, “God damn, is it that hard?” He snatches the bag from you.  He takes out a heather gray t-shirt and shoves it up against your chest. It has a zombie in sneakers and says The Running Dead 5k.  “Heh,” Joel laughs when you hold it out to look at it.  There's an open gash down one side of the chest and a brown stain around the collar.  When you put it on, your nipple peeks through the gash. 

"Shorts?" You ask. 

He shakes his head no, then begins to walk back across the camper and picks up his knife from the sofa. "Bed," he says and nods toward it.  His bed is notched into the wall at the end of the camper.  He follows you to it then grips the back of your neck, still holding the knife with the same hand so the plastic digs into your neck.  

He lifts the mattress and pulls out a pair of handcuffs. "I'm not gonna have to use these, am I?" He chains one of the cuffs to a metal lamp that’s screwed to the wall right above the headboard. He leaves the other cuff dangling open. He lets go of your neck to swat the dangling cuff with the point of the knife, then wedges the knife between the mattress and the headboard and abruptly grabs you by the neck again.  

He bends you over the bed, pulls his hand back, and slaps your bare ass so hard it’s sure to leave a handprint. "Asked you a question.”

“No, I’m gonna stay right here.  You don’t need those.” 

“Don't try anything," he warns. Then he pulls his hand back again and slaps you harder on the same cheek.  Your ass tingles then it fades to numb.  He lowers his voice. "Or you're not gettin’ home tomorrow." 

"Okay," you whimper.

"Good girl."  He lets you go with a shove and you land face-down on his blue flannel sheets. 

“Shit, I’m bein’ selfish, right? Not returnin' the favor?”

He makes you get in bed first so he's blocking you in. 

“Maybe I’ll give it to ya in your sleep,” he says. “Bet ya’d like that."

You nod.  

"Yeah, there’s my sex kitten. Bet ya can’t get enough'a this.”  He lewdly grabs the bulge in his joggers before getting into bed behind you.  

While you’re sleeping, Joel slips his hand between your legs.  He feels how wet you are and whispers to himself,  “oh get the fuck over here” as he gently rolls you onto your back.

He spreads your thighs and gets between them, He feels your cunt again and breathes, “fuck me, sweetheart.” The next thing you feel is his stomach against yours, then his tip at your entrance. You’re disoriented, still not really awake as he shoves himself into you. You sigh but your eyes stay closed. He pulls back then slams into you and bottoms out.  It feels like a vivid dream. He grunts and pants as he pounds you.  He must have been at it for a while already because his sweat is dripping onto you.  Your mouth falls open with a moan and a salty drop lands right on your tongue. You open your eyes with a sigh. 

“Fuck yeah, harder," you pant. 

He tries his best but he’s already fucking you as hard as he can, and he’s nearly spent. 

“Let me ride you,” you beg.  “Wanna ride this big cock again. Swallow it whole with my cunt” 

He slows his hips.  “God damn you got a mouth on you.” 

“Please.” 

“Whatever,” he sighs as he pulls out of you and lays down on his back.  He holds his cock at the base as you straddle him and align yourself over it. His eyes fixate on your nipple poking out of the shirt.  

You take his tip slowly, then abruptly sink down onto him. “Ohhh, Joel,” you sigh. 

“Yeah, you’re welcome,” he mutters, still catching his breath. 

You ride him vocally, and put your hands above his shoulders. His hands are planted on your hips.  When you come, you fold your body forward, discreetly grabbing the knife as you groan in pleasure.  

“Come inside me,” you breathe, and begin rolling your hips again. “Fill me up.” 

“Oh, fuck,” he pants and pinches his eyes shut.  Then he pulses inside you and groans as he comes.  You bring the knife to your thigh, then get off his cock. 

“No,” he sighs. Then you take his cock in your hand and press the flat of the blade against his pubic hair.  “What the fuck!” he gasps. “Hold on, hold on,” he begs.You press the edge of the knife against the base of his shaft.  “Look, I’m sorry about the wire and all that.”

“Prove it,” you say.  “How do I know you’re not gonna kill me?”

“Cause you’re a damn good fuck.”

“Cuff yourself.” You nod toward the handcuffs dangling from the lamp.  He hesitates and you tighten your grip on the knife. “Don’t think I won’t. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Okay, okay.”  To your astonishment, he actually cuffs himself to the lamp. 

Mercifully, you take the knife away from his cock. “Where are your keys? The keys to the volvo.”

“On the hook in the kitchen.” 

You grab the keys and come back.  “Ya know, you’re not a bad fuck yourself. Maybe I should stick around.”

-

Instead of leaving, you go to the sofa and turn the tv back on.  Something possesses you to clean his camper for him.  You can’t stand to be around the mess, and enjoy exerting control over the environment. Like you’re wrecking his vibe and leaving your lasting touch.  You spend an hour cleaning, then come back to the bed where he’s dozing off. You wake him up with a palm on his cock. 

You pull his joggers all the way off. “C’mon now, kitten” he whines. Then you straddle him with your naked heat against his semi-hard manhood.  He sighs and starts getting harder right away. 

“Fuck, you’re wet,” he sighs as you grind against him. “You’re nasty, aren’t ya.”

You nod.  He uses his free hand to guide your hips. You make room for your hand and cup his balls. “Tank empty or got a little more?”

“Oh, fuck,” he sighs then looks you up and down.  “Reckon I’ve always got more.” 

You hover right over his cock and he starts trying to thrust up high enough to fuck you.  You let his tip graze you a few times, then decisively sink onto him with a moan and he shudders. You move yourself up and down his cock, lean forward and grind against his pubic bone. “I didn’t think you’d really cuff yourself,” you say.  “What are you gonna do if I let you go?”

“Give you a ride home,” he pants under you. 

“Hah!” you keep riding him. 

“Really.”  He begins to grunts as you fuck him. 

“Why don’t I believe you?” You slow your hips. You lift yourself up and start to let his cock out of you.  

“No,” he groans. “Kitten, wait.”

You sink back down and take his free hand in yours, putting it between your legs.  “Make me come.” You sit mostly still on his cock as he works his thumb on your clit until you see stars, strangling him with your walls. 

When you’re finished coming, you push yourself off him and he groans at the loss.  He begins to jack himself off desperately as he watches you get a pair of shorts out of the laundry bag and put them on.  

"Oh bad girl," he shakes his head slowly as he keeps fisting himself. "baaaaad girl."

You leave him naked from the waist down, chained to the lamp with his cock in his hand.  

“Told ya it was dangerous out here, sweetheart,” he shouts as the door slams behind you. Then you hear him finish loudly as you unlock the Volvo and get in. 

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There will be another part but not right away. Follow for lore and more meanwhile.

Thank you so much for reading and an additional thank you to those who engage out here!! 🖤🖤 It really helps and makes me feel good. It's especially helpful bc i get labeled.

I will go back through my requests including slasher when I can.

There are more dark joels on my joel master list. you can follow @toxicfics and turn on notifications for fic alerts.

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to @jazziepascal, diehard slasher!joel fan, don't worry he's not done

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